BOLD FAITH: VOL 2 FACILITATOR GUIDE

FACILITATOR GUIDE

GROW IN CONFIDENCE. KNOW YOUR IDENTITY.

FOR GUYS OF FAITH

DIG DEEPER

2

JOURNEY

FOR GUYS OF FAITH

Journey 02: Facilitator Guide 3

BRAVE & BOLD Copyright © 2025-2026 Releasing Generations Published by Releasing Generations Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

All articles, art, and photographs have been published and printed with the permission of their creators.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations from The Authorized (King James) Version. Rights in the Authorized Version in the United Kingdom are vested in the Crown. Reproduced by permission of the Crown’s patentee, Cambridge University Press.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the Holy Scriptures, Tree of Life Version*. Copyright © 2014,2016 by the Tree of Life Bible Society. Used by permission of the Tree of Life Bible Society.

Scripture quotations marked (NIrV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Reader’s Version®, NIrV® Copyright © 1995, 1996, 1998, 2014 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The “NIrV” and “New International Reader’s Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™ Art Direction and Graphic Design by: Ahava Design, LLC. Photos by Unsplash and iStock.

TheBraveSeries.com Through The Brave Series, we are on a mission to help youth and adults of all ages overcome insecurities about their value and purpose. The Brave Series empowers teens and adults to:

The Brave Series is a publication of Explicit Movement, one of three facets of the Releasing Generations organization. You can learn more about Explicit Movement at Explicitmovement.org

• Grow in confidence and emotional health.

Our leadership team has decades of combined experience working with, serving, and supporting teens, young adults, parents, community leaders, and church leaders within many denominations locally and globally.

• Gain wisdom and vision for their future, enabling them to step into their purpose and pursue their dreams.

• Become aware and equipped to safeguard themselves and others from exploitation and sex trafficking victimization.

You are not alone in your struggles.

Learn more at TheBraveSeries.com or visit us at ReleasingGenerations.org Brave & Bold Volume 02 (Faith) Teacher Guide – 3/2026

Welcome to the Brave & Bold journey!

Thank you so much for taking the time to invest in your teen boys and in your relationship with them! Whether you go through this journey with just one teen or a group of teens, you will find this to be a transformational experience for all involved.

The articles will also be relevant to your personal growth.

Each chapter provides discussion questions and optional activities for you to use as a springboard. You can pick and choose which optional questions you would like to use and create your own. As the discussion flows, you may be inspired by wonderful, spontaneous questions.

The activities provided for each chapter are also optional. As a teacher or parent, we encourage you to be creative and do other activities as you are inspired, as time permits! The lessons are typically geared for small groups, so please adjust the activity if you are doing a 1:1 mentorship.

Enjoy your journey!

BRAVE & BOLD FACILITATOR GUIDE

Table of Contents

Journey 02 Dig Deeper

WELCOME .............................................. 05 IMPORTANT REMINDERS . . ........................ 08 FAQs .. .................................................... 08 EMPATHETIC RESPONSES .......................... ..........................11 THE BRAVE & BOLD CULMINATING. . ............ 12 CELEBRATION EVENT RIGHT OF PASSAGE EVENT FOR SONS ........ 13 OVERVIEW .............................................. 14 4-Volume Journey CHAPTER 1: LET IT GO ............................... 16 The Value of Forgiveness CHAPTER 2: GOOD GRIEF .......................... 18 Dealing with Losses in Life CHAPTER 3: UNRAVELING EMOTIONS ........ 20 Navigating Anger, Fear, and Anxiety CHAPTER 4: STAY THE COURSE ................. 26 Persevering Through Hardships CHAPTER 5: PARENTS AND YOU.. ............... 34 Exploring the Impact of Parents CHAPTER 6: FORGED IN COMMUNITY ........ 38 The Value of Belonging to a Community

BEFORE YOU BEGIN:

FAQ WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS GUIDE?

• Be positive, affirming, and encouraging to your teens whenever possible!

• Be mindful NOT to dominate the conversation. Make it a point to listen more than you talk.

• Express gratitude when teens share good points.

• Make the discussion times as enjoyable and meaningful as possible so you look forward to your time together.

• Thank teens when they take a risk and share vulnerably with you.

• Remember, the discussions can be serious at times, and there may be unexpected expressions of raw emotion, but laughing together also strengthens the bond between you and your teens.

This is a powerful tool to mentor teen boys in life and leadership! The meaningful discussion and activity times after each chapter can strengthen your emotional connection with them, heart-to-heart.

Verbally processing the content with someone as mature as you will help teen boys to digest the material and have a deeper learning experience. Going through the material with someone also ensures they will complete the Brave & Bold Journey through Volume 4. Volume 4 has vital information that could help protect their lives from dangerous situations!

WHO SHOULD GO THROUGH THIS WITH A TEEN BOY?

IMPORTANT REMINDERS

Because Brave & Bold is for teen boys and the articles are mostly male perspectives covering issues especially relatable to men, it is more natural and comfortable for a dad or male teacher to go through the material with them. However, we do understand that in some cases, a mother or female teacher may want or need to go through this with their teens, which is fine.

IMPORTANT: THIS IS NOT A TIME TO GIVE ‘LECTURES’ OR GIVE ADVICE (UNLESS THE TEEN BOY ASKS FOR ADVICE).

We hope and pray that going through Brave & Bold together with your teen or group of teens will be a positive, enjoyable experience for everyone! As a teacher, parent, or mentor, you want to create a safe place where each teen boy can freely open up and share his thoughts and feelings.

*Going through this with a group of teen boys can also add beneficial and enriching perspectives to the discussions.

WHAT DO YOU DO IF A TEEN BOY SHARES SOMETHING SHOCKING, DISTURBING, OR UPSETTING TO YOU?

• This is not a time when your teens passively listen to your advice or teachings.

• This is not a time to quickly ‘correct’ the teens’ lines of thinking.

• Do not try to force your teens to agree with your perspectives.

• Seek to understand your teens first before seeking to be understood. However, in the discussions, there will be opportunities to pass along your wisdom naturally as you share your thoughts and life experiences.

Because the topics and discussion questions encourage vulnerability, your teens may muster the courage within themselves to share something that may shock, disturb, or upset you.

Prepare yourself now, so if this happens, you are ready to respond with compassion, understanding, and grace using self-control and NOT react in anger or shock. If you react in anger or shock, this will probably cause teen boys not to want to open up going forward. You want to do your best to create a safe place for teens to share.

If students feel that you really care about what they have to say, they will appreciate being heard. If you listen to them without negatively judging them, they will typically want to share things with you—which is the goal!

As a teacher or parent, it can be so easy to react in anger or shock when your teen shares something upsetting. The tendency

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can be to want to control the situation. You can be real and raw in your thoughts and feelings with God privately or with a trusted friend at a later time, but NOT in that moment with your teen. If you can stay calm and seek to understand, this will help build emotional connection.

Refer to the article following this introduction entitled Empathetic Responses That Promote Connection. Respond with kindness, gentleness, love, and empathy—not judgment. Pray silently and ask the Lord to give you the strength to keep a straight face and listen. Know that it took courage for your teen to share what he did. Affirm your teens and thank them for sharing vulnerably.

BECAUSE YOU WILL BE SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS AND LIFE EXPERIENCES IN THE DISCUSSIONS, HOW VULNERABLE SHOULD YOU BE WITH YOUR TEEN?

you cover a number of chapters within your retreat time that is reasonable for your students.

Creating a heart connection with your teens involves sharing some of your life experiences with them. You will create an atmosphere of vulnerability when you share stories from your life—your struggles, failures, and what you learned from them as they relate to the subject being discussed. It is so valuable for your teen to learn more about your story!

The discussion times could be anywhere from 30 to 60+ minutes depending on your available time. If the conversation goes longer than usual and you need to end it due to your schedule, you can always continue the conversation at your next meeting. *NOTE: If a teen is going through a particular struggle in the present, you can opt to skip ahead to a later chapter that addresses what he is currently going through. For example, if a close relative of a teen passed away, you could decide to skip ahead and go through the chapter on grieving in Volume 2. You can skip ahead to what is most relevant, then return back to the order we have laid out for the journey. Although the chapters are ordered to build upon each other, feel free to skip around to the most relevant chapters that will best serve your teen boy(s).

Ask the Lord for direction on what you can share as you prepare for the discussion. Letting your teens know that you are not perfect, made wrong choices, and experienced pain in your life will build that heart connection. The teen boys may particularly appreciate you sharing stories from your teen years.

WHAT IS A RECOMMENDED READING PLAN? There can be creative versatility in your reading plan depending on what works best for you in your context. Please check out thebraveseries.com website for more ideas and reach out to Michele and her team to create a tailored plan for your needs and schedule a meeting. We want to support you in whatever way we can.

THIS PUBLICATION IS FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL AND HIGH SCHOOL BOYS. CAN A YOUNGER BOY GO THROUGH THIS? Because the first three volumes focus on growing a boy’s confidence and character and knowing his identity, you could easily go over Volumes 1-3 with younger boys using your judgment.

The chapters are fairly short and can easily be read in a short amount of time.

The older a boy is, the more mature he is, and the more he will have a deeper grasp of the lessons.

You may choose to go through a chapter per week or cover one or two chapters every two weeks. If you are in a retreat setting,

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Volume 4 covers the heavier subjects of sexual violence, sex trafficking, and pornography, which may not be as age-appropriate for younger boys (you may decide to pick and choose articles from Volume 4). However, as a teacher or parent, you can use your judgment since you want younger boys to be aware of online predators and the pornography issue, especially as some research has found that the average age of first exposure is around nine years old. You know your child best and can decide.

CAN A YOUNG ADULT MAN OR OLDER MAN BENEFIT FROM GOING THROUGH THIS BRAVE & BOLD JOURNEY? Although the target group for this publication is middle school and high school teen boys, we have found that this journey also speaks to men of all ages. Men will find quality content in the articles that support their personal growth! In Volume 4, the valuable information about pornography, sexual violence, sex trafficking, and other topics covered can be gleaned and passed on to young people through men who have gone through this Brave & Bold experience!

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM ASKING TO READ YOUR TEENS’ PRIVATE THOUGHTS THAT THEY SHARED ON THEIR JOURNAL PAGES. We strongly urge teachers and parents to honor each teen’s privacy regarding the interactive pages he filled out—unless he willingly wants to share his writings or art with you. We want every teen boy to be honest and vulnerable in his reflections and journaling. Knowing that others will be reading his private journaling without permission would greatly hinder the effectiveness of his experience.

BRAVE & BOLD SHOULD BE KEPT AND REFERRED TO EVEN IN YOUNG ADULT YEARS! We envision that the teen boys will keep Brave & Bold for decades to come as a manual for life and leadership, a tool, and a reference guide. Sex trafficking also happens during the young adult years and in colleges. We pray this will be a resource the readers will repeatedly refer to.

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EMPATHETIC RESPONSES THAT PROMOTE CONNECTION

By Vicky Wong, MSCP, LMFT, LMHC, NCC, and Michele Okimura It is not always easy to know what to say when someone tells you something very personal. There is power in words. Careless words keep people isolated and silent for years. Supportive words bring healing, restoration, and courage to discuss their burdens or experiences. Here are some tips on what to say vs what not to say when someone shares vulnerably.

After someone shares something vulnerable, it can be hurtful not to say anything, quickly change the subject, or make a joke/ comment to lighten the mood. When appropriate, a hand on the shoulder, a hand squeeze, or a hug can also communicate comfort and empathy. *Do not start immediately sharing your similar experience. This time is not about you. It is about listening to them. Giving advice and encouraging words comes later after they feel validated and heard. Be sensitive to when you feel they are ready for further input.

Vulnerability + Empathy = Breaks Shame.

WHAT NOT TO SAY: ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶

▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶

You just need to let go and move on.

Other people have it worse than you.

You’re making too much of a big deal of this.

You just need to trust God and pray harder.

Are you just trying to get attention?

I can’t believe this really happened.

Tell me every detail and don’t leave anything out.

How come you just can’t forgive?

You are sinning if you just can’t forgive and forget!

Did you enjoy it? (referring to abuse) What are you going to do about it now?

At least…(minimizing issue)

WHAT TO SAY: ▶ It sounds like you are really feeling (angry, sad, excited, shocked, etc.) by what happened. ▶ I don’t know exactly what to say right now except that I’m here for you. ▶ I’m so sorry that happened to you. ▶ This must be so tough for you. ▶ You are very brave and courageous to talk about what happened. ▶ It took a lot of courage to talk about this, and I’m proud of you. ▶ I am here to help you through your sadness.

▶ We will walk through this together. ▶ I care about you. I am here to listen to you and help you in any way. ▶ I am so glad you are sharing this with me. ▶ You are not alone. ▶ I believe in you! ▶ I’m so sorry that awful thing happened to you.

You didn’t deserve this (abuse, hurtful situation) ▶ You are not to blame. This is not your fault. (if they were a victim of abuse) ▶ Healing is possible. You can be whole again.

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THE BRAVE & BOLD CULMINATING CELEBRATION EVENT This is an optional event that celebrates the completion of Brave & Bold, marking a milestone with gratitude and reflection. This can be a significant and special defining moment to launch the students into their futures. It could be held at a facility, a park, or a beach and include an activity like hiking, swimming, fishing, or zip-lining.

You can keep this event to include just you and the students; however, consider inviting parents to it. You can also have the students invite their father or father figure to it. Another option is to have students invite up to two mentors of their choice, which could include parents.

Prepare a simple program for the event. Please use the following options as a springboard to tailor the event.

• One of each student’s guests would be asked to prepare in advance and read a short letter of affirmation to the student in front of the audience after the student shared their reflections.

• As part of the program, have each student prepare a short speech they can read to the audience that can include reflections on the following questions:

• As the facilitator of the journey, share your reflections and affirmations.

▶ Self-Awareness: In what ways have you grown to view yourself differently/more positively? ▶ Testimony: How did this journey impact you? Share 1-2 ways you were changed by the Brave & Bold Journey. How have you grown? ▶ Regarding Connecting the Dots articles in Journey 4: Share one or more big takeaways after going through the articles on pornography, sexual violence, and sex trafficking. What new perspectives have you gained? ▶ Being Brave and Bold: In what ways has God encouraged you to be brave and bold through this journey?

• Celebrate around a meal and/or provide food or snack refreshments following the formal program.

• Depending on your time allotment, invite a guest speaker who can inspire, encourage, and affirm the students.

• Consider gifting the students the Dream Big Journal: Keys to Unlock your Dreams, a companion resource for their next steps found at MicheleOkimura.com, or consider going through the Dream Big Journal curriculum as a follow-up.

NOTE: With your students’ permission, please send their letters or a summary of their reflections, along with your feedback and/or endorsement, to info@thebraveseries. com. Thank you! We look forward to hearing from you and your students.

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FOR PARENTS: A RIGHT OF PASSAGE EVENT FOR YOUR TEEN SON We have added this activity that can be meaningful for your son/ spiritual son. We wanted to mention this idea to you now so you can envision the possibilities as you feel led—be creative!

This celebration event can help him to grow in confidence, know his value, and embrace his true identity!

gift that expresses what they appreciate about your son, how they believe God sees him, and/or how they see him. They are to attach a positive meaning to the item they gift to him, which they will share at the event. Encourage them to be creative!

Plan the details of the party using your creativity to make it special and memorable!

Be innovative and simply use this activity as a springboard to tailor it to how you want to bless your teen. Here are a few milestone ages that this activity can be applied to:

AT THE EVENT Sometime during the event, have a time when each of the invited guests presents their letter and gift to your teen son.

Each guest is to read his letter, give his wrapped gift to him (have your son open the gift), and explain the meaning behind the gift they gave. It is always special to have a time of prayer for the guest of honor to seal the formal time! Taking photos during the event, including a final group shot, is also special.

• In the Jewish culture, when a boy turns 12 or 13, a Bar Mitzvah celebration takes place as a coming-ofage ceremony into adulthood.

• When a boy graduates high school, this can also be a year to celebrate with this activity since he will be moving on to college, higher education, trade school, or the workforce.

AFTER THE EVENT

This event could be a gathering at home or part of an actionfilled day, such as hiking on a mountain trail or swimming at a beach. Consider incorporating your son’s favorite activity.

Collect the letters written to your son. You could place them into an album or a large envelope with any photos from the event.

WHO TO INVITE? You could invite a few or many men who are especially close to your teen son. They could be family members, spiritual fathers, or mentors. You can choose to involve your teen son in deciding who to invite to this event. This will be a powerful time of men affirming and loving on your teen son, welcoming him into the season of becoming a young man!

PREPARATION Ahead of time, ask the men invited to write a one-page (or so) letter to your teen son, expressing their love and sharing their wisdom as he enters a new season of his life. They can include a prayer and their hopes for him. Inform them that they will be reading their letter to him as part of the program at the event. Their letters could later be put into an album for your teen son to keep. Ask the invited guests to bring a symbolic

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The Brave & Bold Journey 4-Volume Book Overview

Journey 01

Journey 02

HE IS BRAVE & BOLD Defining What is Brave & Bold

LET IT GO.................................... .................................... 12 The Value of Forgiveness

KNOW YOURSELF Becoming Self-Aware

GOOD GRIEF............................... ............................... 28 Dealing with Losses in Life

STAND FIRM Being Secure and Confident

UNRAVELLING EMOTIONS. . ........... 42 Navigating Anger, Fear, and Anxiety

CONNECTING WITH GOD Growing in Relationship with God

STAY THE COURSE....................... ....................... 62 Persevering Through Hardships

YOUR DESIGN Discovering Your Uniqueness

PARENTS AND YOU...................... ...................... 78 Exploring the Impact of Parents

BORN TO CREATE Activating Your Creativity

FORGED IN COMMUNITY.. ............. 92 The Value of Belonging to a Community

Discover Purpose

Dig Deeper

FREEDOM TO DREAM Dreaming Big for Your Life

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Journey 03

Journey 04

BUILDING YOUR CORE Establishing Character

PORNOGRAPHY The Negative Effects of Pornography

VALUES TO LIVE BY Embracing Key Values for Success

OVERCOMING TRAUMA Understanding Trauma

LEADERSHIP Becoming an Effective Leader

SEXUAL VIOLENCE Addressing Sexual Violence

FRIENDSHIP Building Healthy Friendships

SEX TRAFFICKING Protect Yourself and Others from Victimization

GUYS AND GIRLS Honoring Girls and Women

THE BROTHERHOOD The Value of Men Arising

HE PROTECTS Guarding, Defending, and Supporting Others

RISING STRONG Onward with Vision and Purpose

Develop Foundation

Daring Pursuit

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LET IT GO

CHAPTER 01 • PAGES 12 - 27

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

The Value of Forgiveness • • • • •

What is a takeaway you had from this chapter?

What makes giving forgiveness difficult at times?

What can help the forgiveness process?

How might unforgiveness hinder someone from having peace and joy in life?

Have you ever forgiven someone who really hurt or offended you? If you would like to share without naming names, please share. What helped you to forgive that person?

• There is a quote by Marianne Williamson, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.” How is this true?

• How can a group or family build a culture where people respectfully resolve conflicts and practice forgiveness?

ACTIVITIES

Why Forgive?

Materials Needed: YouTube video on someone sharing about forgiving. Some possible options (*Use your judgment on what is appropriate and helpful for your group.): A story about being bullied (3:10): [River Valley Church]. (2014, April 28). Stories of Forgiveness – Jake [Video]. YouTube. https:// youtu.be/BotF8PjxOIU?si=btvIs-0rx00D5hfH A story about forgiveness between father and son (6:20): [River Valley Church]. (2014, April 22). Stories of Forgiveness – Bruce [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/q74J9fMiT9M?si=zjH-nlqh0QN0FmcI A Ted Talk featuring a story about a man forgiving his dad (8:45): [Tedx Talks]. (2017, December 11). The Freedom of Forgiveness Kenneth Goodrum TedxDayton [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/YrNqssOVHUU?si=jRHov6yyD9u8fhXH A Ted Talk of a woman forgiving the man who killed two family members (15:53): [Tedx Talks]. (2018, May 7). The Real Risk of Forgiveness – And Why It’s Worth It Sarah Montana [Video]. Youtube. https://youtu.be/mEK2pIiZ2I0?si=qQjoNmz7jrGG_K5W

Instructions: 1. Discuss how hearing stories of people forgiving others can encourage and inspire us to realize how important forgiveness is and its benefits.

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2. Have the group form groups of two or three and have them look at the following verses: Matthew 6:14-15 Matthew 18:21-22 3. Have the groups discuss the following questions: ▶ There are two types of forgiveness: forgiving others and forgiving yourself. Which type of forgiveness is more difficult for you, and why? ▶ What is difficult about forgiveness? ▶ What do these two verses speak to you personally?

4. As a large group, watch a YouTube video about forgiveness. Discuss the takeaways from the story.

If time permits, you can watch a few videos to show various situations where forgiveness applies.

Human Clay Forgiveness Statues Instructions: 1. Divide the group into small groups of 3-4. Each group must select one person to be the human clay, and the other group members will be the sculptors, who will give verbal directions (no touching).

2. Before sculpting, the group must discuss ideas on expressing forgiveness through a human sculpture – for example, they could incorporate open hands or a bowing position.

3. After each group has ‘sculpted’ their human clay with verbal instructions, they could take a photo to share with the large group. When gathering the large group for a sharing time, each group’s person who was sculptured could model his pose. Each group would share WHY they sculpted the pose in their particular way. What is the meaning behind the pose?

4. Discuss how artistic expressions of forgiveness, like a human statue, can give us insights into forgiveness.

5. Discuss what new insights about forgiveness the students have gained from looking at the various human statues.

Forgiving Yourself Materials Needed: • Pen

• Journal or Stationary

Instructions: Write a forgiveness letter to yourself for something you regret doing or saying that still bothers you. Conclude the letter with a statement of forgiveness, lessons learned, and a positive outlook going forward that you want to have.

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GOOD GRIEF

CHAPTER 02 • PAGES 28 - 41

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Dealing with Losses in Life • What is a takeaway you had from this chapter?

• In some cultures and families, boys and men were told comments such as: “Real men don’t cry.”

“Big boys don’t cry.”

“Men should not cry, especially in public.”

Do you believe such comments? How are such beliefs harmful to grieving in a healthy way?

• We have all experienced different kinds of losses in life, such as the loss of a friend, a pet, a family member, a significant companion, or a job. Share briefly in 15-30 seconds a loss you experienced in life. (As the facilitator, you can share too.)

ACTIVITIES

God of All Comfort Materials Needed: • Chart paper or whiteboard

• Marker for chart paper or whiteboard

Instructions: 1. ICE BREAKER: Start by asking volunteers to help you with an activity where you tell them an emotion.

They show that expression on their faces, and the class guesses the name of the emotion.

2. As each volunteer comes up, whisper an emotion and have them express it on their face. Have the group guess the name of the emotion. Here are some words to express: joy/happiness anxiety/worry anger sorrow/sadness embarrassment excitement fear despair/hopelessness excitement disgust/irritation 3. Discuss how we are all very different in expressing our emotions. Some people swear or yell when angry, others become very quiet with clenched fists, and others may punch a wall.

Explain how grief can be expressed in a variety of unique ways.

4. Discuss how people all around the world grieve losses. God understands grief—even Jesus wept when his dear friend Lazarus died, and he saw the deep grief his family was experiencing.

5. Have the students look up and read the following verses below and discuss how God deeply cares about comforting our grief and sadness: ▶ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ▶ Psalm 34:18 ▶ Matthew 5:4

▶ John 14:26 (KJV translation calls the Holy Spirit the Comforter)

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6. Mention that if the students ever experience deep grief and are having trouble functioning in life, they should seek help from a professional counselor or school counselor.

7. Introduce five common stages of grief written on the board or chart paper that many people go through (not necessarily in this order). Note to the students that a person may experience only some of these stages. Every person is different, and the time frame for the stages varies from person to person. Discuss the following five stages: DENIAL: When a sudden loss first happens, it could be so shocking that they don’t believe the loss really happened. They might think, “This cannot be happening!”

ANGER: A person might feel angry due to the loss. For example, even if a parent died, a child might initially feel angry that their parent left them. The person may ask, “Why did this happen?” and want to blame someone.

BARGAINING: They may want to control the situation or change it. They may think about “what if…” or “if only…” statements.

DEPRESSION: A person could feel hopeless, confused, and sad. They may want to isolate themselves and not feel like doing anything. They may want to sleep all the time to escape facing life.

ACCEPTANCE: The person comes to the place of accepting the situation and begins to move forward, but that does not mean the sadness completely leaves. In this stage, a person may still experience emotional ups and downs.

8. Encourage the students to apply what they have learned about grief and refer to this chapter when they experience grief in the future.

Blessed Are You Who Mourn Materials Needed: • Markers and chart paper or whiteboard

• Journal for each person

Instructions: 1. Read Matthew 5:4 NIV, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

2. Have the group brainstorm situations that could cause someone sadness and grief. Record their ideas on the chart paper.

3. Discuss how this activity reveals that humans experience losses in various ways—and sometimes, we never allow ourselves to grieve. Emphasize how being emotionally healthy means taking time to grieve well so we can move forward with more freedom.

4. Discuss how God can inspire us with a poem, a sketch – or some other activity that can comfort us and express our hope and trust in God’s goodness.

5. Share a brief history of the following famous songs written by songwriters who were expressing grief from a loss: ▶ “How He Loves”: John Mark McMillan wrote this song while grieving the death of one of his best friends. ▶ “It is Well”: Horatio G. Spafford wrote this song following the tragic death of his four children in a ship accident. He wrote the lyrics while traveling over the spot where they had drowned. ▶ “How Great Thou Art”: Carl Gustav Boberg penned this remarkable reflection on God’s majesty after witnessing an incredible thunderstorm followed by a rainbow’s beauty.

6. Have the students reflect and journal about one sad loss they experienced in their life– or ask the Lord to bring to mind if there is a loss they buried in their memory because it was too hard to deal with.

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UNRAVELING EMOTIONS CHAPTER 03 • PAGES 42 - 61

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Navigating Anger, Fear, and Anxiety • What is a takeaway you had from this chapter?

• Anger is a common emotion a person feels when they are hurt or offended. In what ways do you commonly express your anger from the list below: ▶ I don’t typically express my anger—I hold it in. ▶ I vent to other—and can fall into gossiping. ▶ I usually am passive-aggressive and do things to get back at the person.

▶ I can blow up, raise my voice, and verbally express my anger. ▶ Other________

• God gets angry—even Jesus got angry. How can we feel anger yet not sin? (Ephesians 4:26) • What is something that you were afraid of as a young child?

• People can have many fears. Some people have phobias or big fears—like freaking out if there is a spider in their room. Maybe you are afraid of heights or of riding on airplanes. Share any fears you sometimes struggle with. (As a teacher, share any of your phobias if you have any!)

• Discuss how we can struggle with fears such as fear of: ▶ Rejection ▶ Failure ▶ Judgment and criticism

▶ What the future holds ▶ Getting sick ▶ Getting someone angry with you…and more.

• What helpful tips have you learned that you can apply to yourself when you realize you are fearful or anxious?

• Share briefly about someone you trust and share why it is easy to trust him/her.

• What does it mean to trust God? How would trusting in God help you to face your fears and anxiety?

ACTIVITIES

Face Those Fears!

Materials Needed: • Fear Factor YouTube videos to preview (or you can choose your own – here are some shorter clips that are not as extreme as others.)

Featuring a woman singing while walking on a scary stage (3:02): [Game Show Showdown]. (2013, September 8). Walk of Fear Killer Karaoke [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/FEqlDB_rS0E Featuring a stunt with bees (1:47): [Game Show Showdown]. (2014, August 5). Fear Factor Moments Beware [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/Z_igtl4xODI

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Materials Needed (Continued): • Fill three plastic gallon bags with each of the following, then place them into three boxes (opened at the top so they can stick their hand in it) so the students cannot see what is in each bag.

• Paper towels and hand wipes • Bibles for each person • Bible Concordance for each person

#1: sliced olives in some oil #2: slime mixture of water and flour #3: small stuffed animal

Instructions: 1. Share that the TV show Fear Factor was once very popular at one time, making people do and even eat scary things – yet participants willingly volunteered to compete with other contestants to win the competition.

2. Introduce and show the YouTube video to the group that you chose.

3. Have everyone share if they would willingly do what was shown in the video.

4. Discuss why they think the show was so popular. Could part of it be it was amazing to see people push through their fears to win the competition?

5. Share that we will have our own mini fear factor moment. They must each put their hand in box # 1 in ONE dip, feel around for 2-3 seconds, and clean off their hand. Then, they must put their hand in boxes #2 and #3 and do the same. They need to silently guess what each item is in the bag.

6. After each student has had the opportunity to feel each box, have each student share what they think was in boxes #1, #2, and #3 before revealing the truth.

7. Read Psalm 34 together.

8. Discuss what fear is: ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶

You can experience fear if you think about possibly not getting what you want.

Fear could also stem from thinking you will get something you don’t want.

Fear could be triggered by expecting something bad to happen and not liking it.

Fear can also be stirred up, like in the game, where you don’t know what you’re touching, but your mind makes it up!

Note that in this Psalm, David, the author, was so scared that he even acted insane to protect himself!

Fear can cause us to do desperate things! People in the Bible also experienced extreme anxiety and fears that caused them to do extreme things! Does anyone know of a situation when someone was so afraid that they did something unusual or extreme? Share!

9. In what ways can fear be a good thing?

10. God wants us to trust in Him! Have the students use a concordance and their Bibles to find a verse they like that they can write down and share with others to help them trust God with their fears and anxieties.

11. Have students share some of their favorite Bible verses that help calm their fears. As a teacher, you can share some of your favorite verses. Encourage the students to memorize a verse they can meditate on whenever they are afraid or worried.

12. Close in prayer.

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Learning from Anger Materials Needed: • Paper for each student • Pen

• Picture or PowerPoint photo of an iceberg in water where the larger part of the iceberg is underwater.

Instructions: 1. Ask students to briefly share a situation that made them angry in the last few months (e.g., feeling disrespected, being ignored, losing a game). Write these on a board and discuss common themes.

Reflect: Are these triggers mostly about control, respect, fairness, or something else?

2. Explain that anger is a normal emotion everyone experiences but becomes a concern when it leads to harmful and hurtful behavior.

3. Share Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV: “In your anger do not sin.” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

4. Ask the students what they think this passage means. Why are we encouraged not to let the sun go down while still angry?

5. The Bible clearly states that we will sometimes experience anger, but it tells us not to sin when angry. So, it is not a sin to feel angry, but what we do with that anger can lead to sin.

Remind the students that even God himself feels righteous anger at times – even Jesus expressed his great anger at the money changers by overturning their tables in God’s Temple. (Matthew 21:12-13) 6. Discuss the difference between feeling angry and acting on anger.

7. Ask: Can you think of a time when anger led to a positive action? What about a negative one?

8. The Anger Iceberg: Show the students a photo of an iceberg where most of the iceberg is below the surface.

Introduce the concept of the “anger iceberg,” where anger is a surface emotion that hides and masks deeper feelings that we may not even be aware of, such as fear, hurt, frustration, and disappointment.

Remind the students that anger often masks deeper emotions that we feel – yet may not be conscious of.

9. Discuss the powerful influence of how handling anger has been modeled to them in their own families. Some parents rarely show anger, while some parents have explosive fits expressed verbally or even physically. Every person is different, and every family is different, yet what we observe in our homes growing up is typically our only point of reference as ‘normal’ until we learn new ways of handling our anger.

Share that we are not here to negatively judge our family members; instead, we are here to learn healthier ways to manage our anger and improve our relationships with people.

10. Ask participants to think of a recent time when they got angry and regretted their actions. We all make mistakes and wrong choices at times. Personal growth happens when we reflect on our mistakes and learn from them.

What would they do differently now? What can they learn from that experience?

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11. Discuss the power of an apology and forgiveness.

Ask, “Why is humbly apologizing and seeking forgiveness important after we’ve acted out of anger? How does this help heal relationships?”

12. Creative Journal Exercise: Provide students with a piece of paper and ask them to briefly write down a situation in which they are angry with someone who has offended them and whom they have yet to forgive. The person to forgive could be themselves. They may think of someone who irritates them if they are not currently angry with anyone.

13. Next, have them rip up the paper, crumple it, and throw it into a designated trash can in the front of the room, symbolizing an action to let their anger go, wanting to let the offense go, and move on. Explain that even if they have not completely forgiven, this action can be a step towards working to forgive and move on.

14. Summarize by discussing that learning from their past experiences with anger, seeking forgiveness, and forgiving others and themselves are vital steps in personal growth and promoting healthy and joy-filled relationships.

From Stress to Peace

Materials Needed: • (optional) a YouTube video on handling stress - some suggestions: A Ted Talk by Raphael Rose (12:56): [TEDx Talks]. (2019, March 7). From stress to resilience Raphael Rose TEDxManhattanBeach [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/Q7vYuKvpneM?si=31tooE4i7Av9U7V7 A Ted Talk by Raci Levine (5:17): [TEDx Talks]. (2023, March 13). Anxiety is terrifying. Learn what this teen does about it. Raci Levine [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/iNAqWoVIX4s?si=5IYBl0YQkRm7fGT0 • (optional) a YouTube video on examples of people displaying resiliency - some suggestions: A story featuring Nick Vujicic (8:58): [I Am Second]. (2023, September 7). Nick Vujicic Against All Odds [Video]. YouTube. https:// youtu.be/4WE-ifT0de8?si=y-ZufH5oQpNBfNSn A feature news story highlighting six young people (6:54) [ABC News]. (2016, June 22). BEATING THE ODDS 6 Stories That Prove Anything Is Possible [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/7hByu8MvIiU?si=_R2Ozn97YGC0SFbO A feature story about a boy showing resiliency (3:10)

Continued

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Instructions: 1. Define anxiety and stress. Explain that anxiety is a feeling of worry or fear that can be mild or severe, while stress is a response to a demand or challenge.

2. Discuss common causes of anxiety and stress among teens (e.g., school pressure, social dramas, family expectations).

3. Explain how we hold stress not only in our minds but also in our bodies. Note that people who experience chronic stress for a long period can weaken their immune system, therefore making them more susceptible to illness and disease.

For example, some people feel a knot in their stomach, or their shoulder or neck muscles tighten, while others get a headache. It can be helpful to be self-aware so they can be proactive in taking action to relieve their stress levels.

4. Group Discussion: Divide the group into small teams. Each team discusses how they know when they are stressed or anxious. What signs does their body or mind give them? Examples could include difficulty sleeping, irritability, stress dreams at night, or racing thoughts.

Discuss how many people deal with their stress in unhealthy ways. You can brainstorm a list with the group and include actions such as: ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶

Eating unhealthy snacks.

Drinking alcohol.

Taking drugs.

Escaping to online activities like gaming.

Becoming irritable with others.

Spending money shopping.

Hurting or cutting themself.

5. Briefly introduce positive stress-reducing coping strategies such as: ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶

Deep breathing.

Listening to peaceful music.

Humming. (some research has shown this can reduce stress).

Positive self-talk.

Repeating affirmations.

Exercising.

Spending time with a friend.

Doing an artistic activity.

Spending time doing a favorite hobby.

Being in nature.

Being in the moment (this can help with panic attacks). While in the moment, use your five senses: in the moment, think about five things you see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.

Ask the class to add to the list of healthy actions that have helped them to decompress and relax.

6. Explain the concept of resilience—the ability to bounce back from difficult situations. Discuss how resilience is like a muscle that can be strengthened through practice and self-care.

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7. Story of Resilience: Share a relevant YouTube video on resilience and stress and/or share a true story of someone who overcame anxiety or stress through resilience. See the materials list for suggestions. Discuss takeaways.

8. Action Step #1: A possible action step is to have the students research famous quotes and affirmations that can help them reset their thoughts from anxious to peaceful. Have them pick their quote and affirmation. Encourage them to memorize them, as these are words they can focus on when they are stressed.

If time permits, compile the groups’ quotes and affirmations in a handout for the entire group to benefit from.

The following are some examples of quotes: “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” - William James “Don’t believe every worried thought you have. Worried thoughts are notoriously inaccurate.” - Renee Jain “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” - Martin Luther King “Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit. Bad habits can be broken, good habits formed.” - William James “Stress is not what happens to us. It’s our response TO what happens. And RESPONSE is something we can choose.” - Maureen Killoran “The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” - Sydney J. Harris “Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” - John Lubbock

The following are some examples of affirmations: ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶

▶ ▶ ▶ ▶

God is with me.

I rest in God’s peace.

I am enough.

I inhale peace and exhale worry.

I am worthy of love and belonging.

I am resilient.

I choose peace.

I am doing my best.

Things will turn out okay.

9. Emphasize the importance of seeking help and having a support system when dealing with anxiety and stress.

Explain that it’s okay to seek help from trusted adults, friends, or mental health professionals when anxiety or stress becomes overwhelming!

10. Action Step #2: Another possible action step is to break up the group into pairs or small groups and assign each group a positive stress-reducing coping strategy from the list discussed earlier. You may add more strategies to the list. They are to do research and give a presentation to the group, sharing helpful and practical information on their particular stress-reducing activity. Encourage the students to adopt at least 1-2 strategies in their own life.

NOTES

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STAY THE COURSE

CHAPTER 04 • PAGES 60 - 75

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Persevering Through Hardships • What is a takeaway you had from this chapter?

• As a facilitator, share a time when you persevered through a difficult trial. Share vulnerably what you went through, your emotions, thoughts, and how you ultimately made it through. Share what you learned through that experience and how you grew.

• Invite the students to share a time when they persevered through a challenge.

• What factors do you think contribute to someone giving up on life and contemplating suicide? Discuss how there is help and healing for those struggling with thoughts of suicide. As a teacher, share with youth that there is a Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. All they have to do is dial 988 to speak to someone trained in helping those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts.

• What factors do you think contribute to someone persevering?

• Discuss how supportive friends and/or family members can help strengthen someone to persevere.

• Discuss how feeling alone in a struggle can contribute to someone wanting to give up when in a difficult, even painful situation.

• Who is a person in the Bible who, you recall, had to persevere through difficulty? What stood out to you about their story?

• Share: It is recommended that children ages 6-12 need 9-12 hours of sleep per night, and youth ages 13-18 need 8-10 hours. Some symptoms of lack of sleep are: ▶ Feeling depressed, anxious, stressed, irritable, and easily frustrated. ▶ Difficulty concentrating and processing information. ▶ Lack of motivation and reduced physical strength.

• Why do you think taking time to rest your mind and body is essential in order to have the strength to persevere through challenges?

• How much sleep do you average per night? If you are getting below the recommended hours of sleep per night, share an action step you can take to increase your sleep hours.

• Share your favorite downtime activity and how it helps you to rest and be refreshed, restored, and replenished.

• Read aloud Philippians 4:6-7. What does this passage mean to you today? Does it bring comfort or confusion?

Spend time listening to the students’ responses and encourage them.

• Complete the statement: “When I can’t sleep, I ________.”

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ACTIVITIES

Surrender It All! Materials Needed: • • •

Journal, Pen Bible Copies for each student of Romans 5:3-5 in the Passion Translation printed on a slip of paper (or your favorite translation that is easy to understand)

Here is the Passion Translation: “But that’s not all! Even in times of trouble we have a joyful confidence, knowing that our pressures will develop in us patient endurance. And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope. And this hope is not a disappointing fantasy, because we can now experience the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who lives in us!”

Instructions: 1. Before this activity, share an example of a time you had difficulty ‘surrendering’ a situation to God and putting your trust in Him for the outcome. Share examples of prayers you expressed to God during that season.

Empathize that it can be emotionally difficult to endure what can seem like suffering through a challenge.

2. Have students reflect on the Romans 5:3-5 passage provided.

3. Instruct the students to find a quiet place to journal and answer the following three questions: ▶ When in the middle of a hard situation, we all struggle at some level completely trusting in God and believing that He will help work all things out for good. Why do you sometimes struggle to rest in God’s peace and assurance in a trial? ▶ Ask God, “What is the main thing you are speaking to me through this chapter? ▶ Ask God, “What is one thing you want me to do differently starting this week?”

4. After journaling their answers, have the students journal a letter to God, sketch a picture, or write a poem expressing their desire to persevere in life (or through a difficult current situation) and trust Him for a hopeful end.

5. If time allows, have the students pair up and share their answers to one or more of the three questions they journaled about.

Run and Not Be Weary Materials Needed: •

Journal

•

Pen

•

Bible

Instructions: 1. Have the students journal about a significant concern or burden in their life that prevents them from being able to rest and be at peace. They can list burdens related to work, school, family, friends, neighbors, sports, extra-curricular activities, physical needs, etc.

2. Have students read Matthew 11:28-30 and Isaiah 40:31.

Continued

27

3. After they are done, have them return to their journals and ask God what He wants to share with them about their burdens. Give them time to be quiet, reflect, and write.

4. Discuss whether or not their perspective on the burden changed after reading these passages and spending time with God. If it did change, how did it change?

Developing A Perseverance Mindset Materials Needed: • A copy of the Wisdom Resume worksheet for each student (see the page following this lesson)

For each small group, provide: • One marshmallow • 20 spaghetti sticks • 1 yard of tape and 1 yard of string

Instructions: 1. Define perseverance as continuing to work toward a goal despite facing difficulties, setbacks, or failures. Share examples of well-known figures (e.g., athletes, inventors, or leaders) who persevered.

2. Discuss: “What does perseverance look like?

Break the group into small groups of 3-4 to discuss a time when they had to persevere. What challenges did they face? How did they push through? How did it feel to overcome that challenge?

Have time for each group to share an insight with the larger group.

3. The Marshmallow Challenge (15-20 minutes): Provide teams with 20 sticks of spaghetti, one yard of tape, one yard of string, and a marshmallow. The goal is to build the tallest structure possible with the marshmallow on top.

Have the teams work on their structure creatively for approximately 15-20 minutes.

4. When each group is done with their structure, affirm each group’s efforts. Discuss how perseverance played a role in their building process, what challenges they faced, and how they overcame them.

5. Explain the difference between a fixed mindset (“I can’t do this”) and a growth mindset (“I can learn to do this”).

Discuss how a growth mindset is critical for perseverance.

6. Discuss common self-doubts or negative thoughts they have experienced and how these can be rephrased and reframed into growth-oriented statements.

7. Remind students and discuss how failure is not the opposite of success but a part of it. Emphasize that we can learn something from every setback. Highlight famous people and Bible characters who rose from severe challenges and failures to success because they did not give up despite the worst circumstances.

8. Wisdom Resume: For their Wisdom Resumes, have the students reflect on and write about their past challenges, setbacks, and failures and what they learned from each.

After students have completed their resumes, have a few volunteers share one of their experiences and wisdom gained with the larger group. Affirm and encourage their insights. Encourage the students to share the wisdom they have gained with others -even those younger than them.

Ask the students what this activity revealed to them. Did it encourage and strengthen their resolve to persevere in life? If so, how?

9. Discuss how perseverance isn’t just about pushing through to achieve big goals but also about daily habits and small decisions (e.g., doing homework, practicing an instrument, maintaining a friendship). Taking the ‘one day at a time’ approach and small daily steps can help! Remind the students to celebrate whatever progress and personal growth they observe in each challenge.

10. (optional) Consider creating a “Growth Mindset Wall” or board upon which teens can write or tack empowering statements and affirmations.

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Name:

WISDOM RESUME Briefly describe three past experiences when you failed at something, experienced negative consequences from a wrong choice you made, or had to walk through a painful, difficult situation. After writing about each experience, write what you learned from that situation, what you learned about yourself, and what wisdom or insight you gained to help you in the future.

EXPERIENCE:

LEARNINGS AND WISDOM GAINED:

EXPERIENCE:

LEARNINGS AND WISDOM GAINED:

EXPERIENCE:

LEARNINGS AND WISDOM GAINED:

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NOTES

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Stand Up for your Brother (This is best done in larger groups of 10-100+; the larger the group, the more impactful it is.)

• This can be an impactful group activity. Please feel free to edit and create a tailored list of questions appropriate for your group of guys.

• Meet with assistant leaders to review the activity and their role before the session. Have your assistants also participate in the survey and ask them to circle “YES” to questions that they think the guys might have a hard time answering honestly so that there will never be the potential of only one person standing alone.

• This activity is more appropriate for high school-age guys. Please use your judgment if you consider using this activity with middle school guys.

Materials Needed: • Copies of the ‘Stand Up For Your Brother’ worksheet on the next page (one copy per guy) or copies of your tailored, edited version of the worksheet.

• Pen for each student (do not use pens with different colors)

Instructions: 1. As a facilitator, know that the purpose of this activity is for the guys to discover that they are not alone in their struggles.

2. Distribute copies of the “Stand Up For Your Brother” worksheet. ▶ Emphasize that they are NOT to write their name on their paper because we want each person to feel safe and be completely honest. ▶ Reassure the guys that everyone is filling out the same form, so no one will know who wrote on each sheet. ▶ Ask the guys to answer as honestly as possible because the power of this exercise comes in the honesty they are willing to answer. (Remind them again that their paper should NOT have their name.)

3. Tell the students to fold their paper in half to hide their answers when completing the worksheet.

4. Have the students fill out the worksheets.

5. After everyone is done, collect the worksheets, shuffle the pile, and distribute them randomly to the students.

6. Tell the guys they are representing a fellow guy who filled out the paper they are holding.

7. Explain that you will read aloud each statement. IF a “YES” was circled for that particular corresponding question, they should stand up when you ask them to stand. They are to stand until you tell them to sit back down.

8. Encourage the guys to look around the room after each statement is read to see how many are standing for each statement.

9. Read each statement slowly and tell the students to stand IF their paper has a “YES” answer for that statement.

After a few seconds, have the standing students sit back down.

Continued

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10. After you have finished reading each statement on the list an once the activity is over, collect the worksheets for your personal data.

11. Encourage the students that this activity shows that they are NOT alone and we can grow and overcome hard things together. As a leader, be ready to empathize and use comforting, encouraging words, as these are sensitive topics.

12. (optional) Follow-up questions you can discuss in small groups: ▶ What were you feeling or thinking after doing this activity? ▶ Describe a time when you persevered. How did you feel after you pushed through the challenge? ▶ What is one thing that you currently need to persevere in?

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STAND UP FOR YOUR BROTHER Please DO NOT write your name on the paper.

We want to allow you to answer HONESTLY and ANONYMOUSLY. Papers will be collected and mixed up so nobody will know whose paper is whose.

Circle Yes or No if...

Y

N

I struggle with believing God loves me.

Y

N

I struggle with believing I am valuable.

Y N

I often struggle with anxiety.

Y N

I feel anger or hatred towards someone.

Y N

I have thoughts of hating myself or hating my body.

Y N

I have had suicidal thoughts within the past year.

Y N

I have cut or harmed my body in the past year.

Y N

I struggle with depression.

Y N

I have been sexually abused or inappropriately touched.

Y N

I have been verbally abused.

Y N

I have emotional pain about my relationship with my mom or dad.

Y N

I have been physically abused. (Physically hurt by someone.)

Y N

I struggle with loneliness.

Y N

I struggle with feeling pressured by my parents to perform.

Y N

I have great hope for a positive future.

Y N

I have someone who I can talk to about difficult struggles in my life

Y N

I desire to make a positive difference in this world.

Y N

I desire to have a closer relationship with God.

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PARENTS AND YOU CHAPTER 05 • PAGES 78 - 91

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Exploring the Impact of Parents • What is a takeaway you had from this chapter?

• Discuss briefly how parents or guardians (parent figures) play a key role in our development, whether present or absent in our lives. Discuss how, in this world, some parents are great while some parents are neglectful and abusive, and we each have our own unique experiences with our parents.

What was highlighted to you in the article “What Have My Parents Got To Do With It?” • Whether you believe you have good parents or not, it can be helpful to have great mother and father figures from whom you can learn and gain support, such as teachers or coaches.

Who is someone aside from your parents that you feel supported by?

• Mention that our relationship with our parents or guardians typically does not go without times of conflict and misunderstanding. Our relationship with one or both parents can go through peaceful, messy, or rough seasons and be a source of great joy or pain. What can help is finding things to be grateful for.

What are one or two things that you can be grateful for regarding one or both parents?

• Although the articles ‘Letter from a Dad’ and ‘Letter from a Mom’ are not letters to you from your parents, the articles can open the door to working on forgiving your parents for their failings, weaknesses, and the ways they have hurt or disappointed you.

What was your takeaway from those letters?

ACTIVITIES

Honor My Parents? Are You Joking or Serious?

Materials Needed: • Whiteboard or chart paper • Marker

• At least ten poster boards • Marker set for each small group

Instructions: 1. Discuss that a relationship works in two ways. Parents (or parent figures/guardians) sometimes have excellent and generally healthy communication skills. In contrast, other parents or parent figures can struggle with communicating in healthy, positive ways for various reasons - or they simply do not know how to due to their upbringing.

2. Have the students read Ephesians 6:1-3. Highlight that this particular commandment from God has a promise.

Ask the students, “Why do you think things will go better for you in life if you honor and obey your parents?

Why is it important to follow and obey the boundaries set by parents as a child and youth? (such as curfew, doing chores by a specific time, etc.)

3. Discuss how we cannot control how other people behave, react, and what they say, but we have the power to make personal choices about our actions, our responses, and the words we speak. We can be proactive on our part to improve healthy communication with others, our parents, and those in authority.

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4. SIDE NOTE: Discuss briefly how some parents abuse their children or force them to do things that are unlawful, illegal, or destructive to others or themselves. In such situations, children should ask for help from a trusted adult like a school counselor or teacher to protect themselves and others.

5. Write down and discuss the following ten practical tips on what teens can do to help improve their relationship with their parents or parent figures: ▶ GOOD TIMING HELPS: Wait for the right time to communicate. For example, don’t bring up a serious topic when your parent is in a rush or as soon as they come home from work. Take time to reflect and judge when a good time is. ▶ GIVE FOCUSED ATTENTION: In most cultures, having good eye contact when speaking to someone is respectful. Have good eye contact when conversing with your parents, and give them your undivided attention. ▶ SEEK TO UNDERSTAND: Seek to understand before seeking to be understood. Learn to listen before speaking. ▶ COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS: Try not to shut down and ignore your parents, giving them the silent treatment. Be assertive in communicating your needs calmly and respectfully.

You can say phrases such as, “I need ___ because___.” Remember, your parents cannot read your mind. For example, if you are sharing a problem with your parent and they are quick to give you advice when you need them to simply listen without saying much, you might say something like, “Mom, I know what you are saying is helpful, but right now, I really need you to just listen to me and hear my thoughts and feelings. Maybe later, you can give me advice.” Parents sometimes need reminders. ▶ WATCH YOUR WORDS: Stay away from sarcastic remarks, swearing, put-downs, and saying things that you know will make them angrier. In other words, avoid ‘pouring gasoline on the fire.’

Use ‘I’ statements. Instead of accusing them of things, begin by using ‘I’ statements, which can help keep both parties from being defensive. Use statements like, “I feel (state emotion) when ______ .” ▶ WATCH YOUR TONE: Most of what we communicate is non-verbal and through tone, not so much the words we speak. Try to maintain a respectful, calm tone. ▶ ASK FOR A TIME OUT: If you feel you will lose your temper, you can respectfully tell parents that you need a 15-minute (or more) time out because you are feeling angry and need time to cool off to think straight. Spend that time asking God for His help, perspective, wisdom, and guidance. ▶ FORGIVE AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS: Humble yourself when you know you did something wrong by asking for forgiveness and owning up to what you did. For example, maybe you did something rebellious or yelled hurtful words at them. Ask for forgiveness for what you specifically did, AND acknowledge how it may have affected them. Whether or not they forgive you, be at peace that you did the right thing on your part.

Work on forgiving your parents and not holding onto grudges against them. ▶ SERVE YOUR PARENTS: Think of ways to bless your parents, such as doing acts of kindness for them, faithfully doing your chores, and offering to help them when you see they could use some help. Take the initiative to serve without waiting to be asked. ▶ THANK YOUR PARENTS FOR THINGS THEY DO FOR YOU: Sometimes parenting is a thankless job, so expressing gratitude towards them can mean a lot!

6. Have students break up into ten different groups (or if you have a small group, one group can cover more than one tip) and assign each group one of the tips. Give each group a poster board and markers.

7. Instruct each group to write their assigned communication tip onto their poster and illustrate their point creatively using symbols, sketches, or phrases.

Continued

35

8. Have time to share the posters after each group is done.

9. Have the students pick 1-3 things from the list of 10 to work on this week.

10. (optional) Have each student write in a journal about the ten tips as a time of reflection. They can refer to the list to remind themselves of helpful practices to grow in.

New Lenses Materials Needed: • paper/pen or laptop for note-taking

Instructions: 1. Discuss briefly that there are probably many past life experiences their parents went through that they are unaware of. As a teacher, share some interesting facts about one of your parents that you didn’t realize or know about till later in life. Share how that information gave you more understanding of your parent.

2. Assign a homework assignment where the students interview one of their parents or parent figures. They are to record their answers and write a summary of what they learned.

3. Have them ask at least 3 of the following interview questions: ▶ Tell me about one of your fondest, happiest memories in your life. Why was that situation especially meaningful to you? ▶ Tell me about one of the most challenging experiences you went through. How did you manage to persevere?

What did you learn from that experience? ▶ What is an accomplishment you had in your life that you are most proud of? Why? Tell me what you had to do to achieve that success. ▶ Tell me about a time when you experienced the loss of something, such as losing a loved one, a job, a competition, or a pet. Why was that significant? How do you feel about it now? ▶ Tell me about a hobby or interest you had as a child or teenager. Share with me how you discovered you enjoyed that activity. ▶ When you were my age, what was life like for you? Did you enjoy life, or was it a hard time? Explain why it was a great time or a difficult time for you. ▶ What wisdom and advice would you like to pass on to me on how to live my life? What happened in your life that has caused you to value that statement?

4. After the group has interviewed their parent or parent figure, have each student share one thing they learned about their parent that surprised them.

5. Discuss how we often forget that our parents and parent figures have their own stories and struggles. How does knowing this change how you see them? Does it give you more compassion and/or respect for them?

Knowing some of the stories you learned about, you can better understand your parent, leading to better communication with them and, possibly, fewer conflicts.

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Love Languages Materials Needed: • A copy of the Five Love Languages Quiz for each person (you should be able to easily find a free downloadable quiz online)

• Pen/Pencil

Instructions: 1. Explain how there are many ways to express and receive love, but today, we will focus on five: ▶ physical affection ▶ gifts ▶ acts of service

▶ words of affirmation ▶ quality time

2. Share a few examples of how the five love languages affect relationships.

For example, if a person’s love language is words of affirmation, you could give them a gift, spend time with them, and give them a pat on the back or a hug, and they won’t feel as built up and cared for compared to if you gave them affirming, encouraging words. Affirming words would make them feel exceptionally cared for and appreciated!

If a person’s love language is receiving gifts, you could do things for them and give them encouraging words.

However, they wouldn’t feel as loved compared to you giving them their favorite candy bar!

3. Have each student take the Five Love Languages quiz.

4. Have each student share their top two main love languages. These are the ways that they best receive care and love. It can be fun to learn more about the best way to express care to friends and family in ways that they best receive love.

5. Give the students extra sheets of paper for their family members so they can learn how each of their parents best receives love. They can work on expressing care and love for their parents (and siblings) in those ways.

Their parents can also learn their love language as well. *Note that ALL five ways of showing love and care are important! We just want to ensure we especially express love to others in THEIR top love language, if possible, for the best outcomes—even if it doesn’t come naturally.

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FORGED IN COMMUNITY CHAPTER 06 • PAGES 92 - 101

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

The Value of Belonging to a Community • What is a takeaway you had from this chapter?

• What do you think of the saying, “Show me your friends, and I will show you your future”? Do you believe this applies to your life? Why or why not?

• How has a community of people positively or negatively affected your life? As a teacher, you can share one of your life experiences.

• How have you experienced peer pressure in a group? Have you ever felt the need to change yourself in order to ‘fit in’ the group? If so, please explain.

• How important is it to belong to a community of friends who support your values and goals?

• How can belonging to a good community of friends help you discover more about yourself?

• Review Bible verses Proverbs 13:20 and 1 Corinthians 15:33. How can this wisdom shared in these verses be applied to friendships in general? How have you experienced or observed this?

• What qualities would a small group need to have for you to feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable, open, and free to be yourself?

• We can be a part of more than one community or people at a time, such as a sports team, school club, a performance class like band or drama, a team in a workplace, a church or community group, and your friends’ group. Knowing that no person, family, or group is perfect, describe the type of community you would want to belong to.

ACTIVITIES

The Community Web Materials Needed: • yarn ball

Instructions: 1. Divide the group into pairs. Each pair has two minutes to discover five things they have in common. Then, change up partners and repeat the exercise.

2. Discuss as a group: How did finding common ground with others feel? Why is finding commonality important in building a community?

3. Sit in a circle. Give a ball of yarn to one person who shares a quality they value in a community of friends (e.g., honesty). They then pass the ball of yarn to someone else in the circle, holding onto a piece of it. Each time a person catches the balls, they must share another great desired quality in a community while holding part of the yarn, so eventually, a ‘web’ is formed in the middle of the circle.

4. Continue until a “web” is formed. Discuss how each person’s unique qualities contribute to the strength of the community.

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5. Discuss how the friends we choose significantly shape who we become. Belonging to a positive community helps us grow and develop strong character.

Faith and Community Materials Needed: One packet of 10 index cards for each small group (each packet of the cards should have one attribute or combination or similar attributes listed below on each card: • • • •

honest non-judgemental loyal trustworthy

• • • •

friendly/kind fun forgiving positive

• encouraging • supportive

Instructions: 1. Read and reflect on Bible verses Proverbs 22:24-25, Proverbs 15:22, and Proverbs 27:17.

2. Discuss how these verses apply to their lives today concerning their spiritual walk and friendships. Discuss how these verses and being in a solid, loving, faith community will help them to thrive in life and experience success.

3. Group Activity - Values Sorting: Break up the group into pairs or groups of three.

4. Provide a set of 10 cards with different values and attributes for each small group. Ask participants to rank them from most to least important in a community of friends.

5. When all groups are done, have each group share their top three ranked values/attributes they decided upon.

6. Discuss the results: How do these values shape the type of community they want to be a part of?

7. Discuss why it is vital for your spiritual growth to be in a community with others who share your values and faith and where you can also contribute and add value to others.

8. (optional) Based on what they learned from this lesson, have the students journal three ways they can be a better friend to others.

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Be The Change: Build Community Materials Needed: • Whiteboard or chart paper

• Markers

Instructions: 1. Discuss how being a part of a community that makes a positive change can also empower people with a sense of purpose and teamwork. Serving together on a team can significantly impact feeling a sense of belonging.

2. Discuss a few Bible verses on serving and good works, such as: ▶ Ecclesiastes 9:10

▶ Ephesians 2:10

▶ Matthew 5:14-16

▶ James 2:14-17

3. Brainstorm with the group and create a list of places and activities where they might find friends with similar values (e.g., sports teams, community groups, dance or art organizations).

4. Discuss the benefits of each and how to approach making new friends in these settings. Encourage the students to initiate visiting and exploring being a part of groups that interest them. Being proactive in finding a positive community to belong to is a decisive and courageous step forward!

5. Discuss how, as a group or class, they can become a community serving and volunteering to meet a need. Discuss how, when doing volunteer work, we may discover that we especially enjoy serving others by using our gifts, talents, and abilities. Our experience in serving others can also activate a dream within us.

6. As a teacher, you can narrow the following list to a few possible community service ideas and have the group decide which activity they want to do. It can be an ongoing activity or a one-time service project. Or, you can have the group decide (the majority decides). You can also encourage the group to add to the list creatively. ▶ Spread holiday cheer (doing a seasonal activity for the elderly or a children’s hospital). ▶ Gather gifts for a Christmas Angel Tree Project or organize a Samaritan’s Purse Shoebox event. ▶ Plan and implement a beautification project for the school campus or community area. ▶ Organize a garage sale and donate the funds to a worthy charity. ▶ Design and paint a mural on a wall to add art to the community (after getting permission).

7. As a group, decide on specific roles needed to implement the service project’s action plan and give the group members leadership opportunities.

8. After the service project, debrief with the group on what went well and what could be improved. Have each student share how they felt volunteering and their highlights. What did they learn?

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NOTES

NOTES

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