BOLD CLASSIC: VOL 4 FACILITATOR GUIDE

FACILITATOR GUIDE

GROW IN CONFIDENCE. KNOW YOUR IDENTITY.

FOR GUYS

DARING PURSUIT

4

JOURNEY

Journey 04: Facilitator Guide 3

Brave & Bold Copyright © 2026 Releasing Generations Published by Releasing Generations Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

All articles, art, and photographs have been published and printed with the permission of their creators.

Art Direction and Graphic Design by: Ahava Design, LLC. Photos by Unsplash and iStockphoto.

TheBraveSeries.com Through The Brave Series, we are on a mission to help youth and adults of all ages overcome insecurities about their value and purpose. The Brave Series empowers teens and adults to: • Grow in confidence and emotional health.

• Gain wisdom and vision for their future, enabling them to step into their purpose and pursue their dreams.

• Become aware and equipped to safeguard themselves and others from exploitation and sex trafficking victimization.

Learn more at TheBraveSeries.com or visit us at ReleasingGenerations.org

Brave & Bold Volume 04 (Classic) Facilitator Guide – 02/2026

Welcome to the Brave & Bold journey!

Thank you so much for taking the time to invest in your teen boys and in your relationship with them! Whether you go through this journey with just one teen or a group of teens, you will find this to be a transformational experience for all involved.

The articles will also be relevant to your personal growth.

Each chapter provides discussion questions and optional activities for you to use as a springboard. Organic discussion quesitons can also be asked after each article as an option. You can pick and choose which optional questions you would like to use and create your own. As the discussion flows, you may be inspired by wonderful, spontaneous questions.

The activities provided for each chapter are also optional. As a teacher or parent, we encourage you to be creative and do other activities as you are inspired, as time permits! The lessons are typically geared for small groups, so please adjust the activity if you are doing a 1:1 mentorship.

Enjoy your journey!

BRAVE & BOLD FACILITATOR GUIDE

Table of Contents

Journey 04 Daring Pursuit

WELCOME .............................................. 05 IMPORTANT REMINDERS . . ........................ 08 FAQs .. .................................................... 08 EMPATHETIC RESPONSES .......................... ..........................11 THE BRAVE & BOLD CULMINATING. . ............ 12 CELEBRATION EVENT RIGHT OF PASSAGE EVENT FOR SONS ........ 13 OVERVIEW .............................................. 14 4-Volume Journey CHAPTER 1: PORNOGRAPHY ...................... 16 The Negative Effects of Pornography CHAPTER 2: OVERCOMING TRAUMA .......... 20 Understanding Trauma CHAPTER 3: SEXUAL VIOLENCE ................ 26 Addressing Sexual Violence CHAPTER 4: SEX TRAFFICKING ................. 32 Protect Yourself and Others from Victimization CHAPTER 5: RISING STRONG. . ................... 34 Onward with Vision and Purpose

BEFORE YOU BEGIN:

FAQ WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS GUIDE?

• Be positive, affirming, and encouraging to your teens whenever possible!

• Be mindful NOT to dominate the conversation. Make it a point to listen more than you talk.

• Express gratitude when teens share good points.

• Make the discussion times as enjoyable and meaningful as possible so you look forward to your time together.

• Thank teens when they take a risk and share vulnerably with you.

• Remember, the discussions can be serious at times, and there may be unexpected expressions of raw emotion, but laughing together also strengthens the bond between you and your teens.

This is a powerful tool to mentor teen boys in life and leadership! The meaningful discussion and activity times after each chapter can strengthen your emotional connection with them, heart-to-heart.

Verbally processing the content with someone as mature as you will help teen boys to digest the material and have a deeper learning experience. Going through the material with someone also ensures they will complete the Brave & Bold Journey through Volume 4. Volume 4 has vital information that could help protect their lives from dangerous situations!

WHO SHOULD GO THROUGH THIS WITH A TEEN BOY?

IMPORTANT REMINDERS

Because Brave & Bold is for teen boys and the articles are mostly male perspectives covering issues especially relatable to men, it is more natural and comfortable for a dad or male teacher to go through the material with them. However, we do understand that in some cases, a mother or female teacher may want or need to go through this with their teens, which is fine.

IMPORTANT: THIS IS NOT A TIME TO GIVE ‘LECTURES’ OR GIVE ADVICE (UNLESS THE TEEN BOY ASKS FOR ADVICE).

We hope that going through Brave & Bold together with your teen or group of teens will be a positive, enjoyable experience for everyone! As a teacher, parent, or mentor, you want to create a safe place where each teen boy can freely open up and share his thoughts and feelings.

*Going through this with a group of teen boys can also add beneficial and enriching perspectives to the discussions.

WHAT DO YOU DO IF A TEEN BOY SHARES SOMETHING SHOCKING, DISTURBING, OR UPSETTING TO YOU?

• This is not a time when your teens passively listen to your advice or teachings.

• This is not a time to quickly ‘correct’ the teens’ lines of thinking.

• Do not try to force your teens to agree with your perspectives.

• Seek to understand your teens first before seeking to be understood. However, in the discussions, there will be opportunities to pass along your wisdom naturally as you share your thoughts and life experiences.

Because the topics and discussion questions encourage vulnerability, your teens may muster the courage within themselves to share something that may shock, disturb, or upset you.

Prepare yourself now, so if this happens, you are ready to respond with compassion, understanding, and grace using self-control and NOT react in anger or shock. If you react in anger or shock, this will probably cause teen boys not to want to open up going forward. You want to do your best to create a safe place for teens to share.

If students feel that you really care about what they have to say, they will appreciate being heard. If you listen to them without negatively judging them, they will typically want to share things with you—which is the goal!

As a teacher or parent, it can be so easy to react in anger or shock when your teen shares something upsetting. The tendency can

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be to want to control the situation. You can be real and raw in your thoughts and feelings with a trusted friend privately at a later time, but NOT in that moment with your teen. If you can stay calm and seek to understand, this will help build emotional connections.

Refer to the article following this introduction, Empathetic Responses That Promote Connection. Respond with kindness, gentleness, love, and empathy—not judgment. Try to keep a straight face and listen. Know that it took courage for your teen to share what he did. Affirm your teens and thank them for sharing vulnerably.

BECAUSE YOU WILL BE SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS AND LIFE EXPERIENCES IN THE DISCUSSIONS, HOW VULNERABLE SHOULD YOU BE WITH YOUR TEEN? Creating a heart connection with your teens involves sharing some of your life experiences with them. You will create an atmosphere of vulnerability when you share stories from your life—your struggles, failures, and what you learned from them as they relate to the subject being discussed. It is so valuable for your teen to learn more about your story!

of setting, you can cover a number of chapters within your retreat time that is reasonable for your students.

The discussion times could be anywhere from 30 to 60+ minutes, depending on your available time. If the conversation goes longer than usual and you need to end it due to your schedule, you can always continue the conversation at your next meeting.

Decide beforehand what you want to share as you prepare for the discussion. Letting your teens know that you are not perfect, made wrong choices, and experienced pain in your life will build that heart connection. The teen boys may particularly appreciate you sharing stories from your teen years.

*NOTE: If a teen is going through a particular struggle in the present, you can opt to skip ahead to a later chapter that addresses what he is currently going through. For example, if a close relative of a teen passed away, you could decide to skip ahead and go through the chapter on grieving in Volume 2. You can skip ahead to what is most relevant, then return back to the order we have laid out for the journey. Although the chapters are ordered to build upon each other, feel free to skip around to the most relevant chapters that will best serve your teen boy(s).

WHAT IS A RECOMMENDED READING PLAN? There can be creative versatility in your reading plan depending on what works best for you in your context. Please check out thebraveseries.com website for more ideas and reach out to Michele and her team to create a tailored plan for your needs and schedule a meeting. We want to support you in whatever way we can.

THIS PUBLICATION IS FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL AND HIGH SCHOOL BOYS. CAN A YOUNGER BOY GO THROUGH THIS?

The chapters are fairly short and can easily be read in a short amount of time.

Because the first three volumes focus on growing a boy’s confidence and character and knowing his identity, you could easily go over Volumes 1-3 with younger boys using your judgment.

You may choose to go through a chapter per week or cover one or two chapters every two weeks. If you are in a retreat type

Continued

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The older a boy is, the more mature he is, and the more he will have a deeper grasp of the lessons. Volume 4 covers the heavier subjects of sexual violence, sex trafficking, and pornography, which may not be as age-appropriate for younger boys (you may decide to pick and choose articles from Volume 4). However, as a teacher or parent, you can use your judgment since you want younger boys to be aware of online predators and the pornography issue, especially as some studies have shown that the average age of first exposure is around nine years old. You know your child best and can decide.

CAN A YOUNG ADULT MAN OR OLDER MAN BENEFIT FROM GOING THROUGH THIS BRAVE & BOLD JOURNEY? Although the target group for this publication is middle school and high school teen boys, we have found that this journey also speaks to men of all ages. Men will find quality content in the articles that support their personal growth! In Volume 4, valuable information about pornography, sexual violence, sex trafficking, and other topics covered can be gleaned and passed on to young people through men who have gone through this Brave & Bold experience!

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM ASKING TO READ YOUR TEENS’ PRIVATE THOUGHTS THAT THEY SHARED ON THEIR JOURNAL PAGES. We strongly urge teachers and parents to honor each teen’s privacy regarding the interactive pages he filled out—unless he willingly wants to share his writings or art with you. We want every teen boy to be honest and vulnerable in his reflections and journaling. Knowing that others will be reading his private journaling without permission would greatly hinder the effectiveness of his experience.

BRAVE & BOLD SHOULD BE KEPT AND REFERRED TO EVEN IN YOUNG ADULT YEARS! We envision that the teen boys will keep Brave & Bold for decades to come as a manual for life and leadership, a tool, and a reference guide. Sex trafficking also happens during the young adult years and in colleges. We hope this will be a resource the readers will repeatedly refer to.

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EMPATHETIC RESPONSES THAT PROMOTE CONNECTION

By Vicky Wong, MSCP, LMFT, LMHC, NCC, and Michele Okimura It is not always easy to know what to say when someone tells you something very personal. There is power in words. Careless words keep people isolated and silent for years. Supportive words bring healing, restoration, and courage to discuss their burdens or experiences. Here are some tips on what to say vs what not to say when someone shares vulnerably.

After someone shares something vulnerable, it can be hurtful not to say anything, quickly change the subject, or make a joke/ comment to lighten the mood. When appropriate, a hand on the shoulder, a hand squeeze, or a hug can also communicate comfort and empathy. *Do not start immediately sharing your similar experience. This time is not about you. It is about listening to them. Giving advice and encouraging words comes later after they feel validated and heard. Be sensitive to when you feel they are ready for further input.

Vulnerability + Empathy = Breaks Shame.

WHAT NOT TO SAY: ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶

You just need to let go and move on.

Other people have it worse than you.

You’re making too much of a big deal of this.

Are you just trying to get attention?

I can’t believe this really happened.

Tell me every detail and don’t leave anything out.

▶ ▶ ▶ ▶

How come you just can’t forgive?

Did you enjoy it? (referring to abuse) What are you going to do about it now?

At least…(minimizing issue)

▶ ▶ ▶ ▶

I am so glad you are sharing this with me.

You are not alone.

I believe in you!

I’m so sorry that awful thing happened to you.

You didn’t deserve this (abuse, hurtful situation) You are not to blame. This is not your fault. (if they were a victim of abuse) Healing is possible. You can be whole again.

Forgiveness for such a deep hurt is a process and will happen over time.

What I hear you saying is… (reflect back what they said/ reflect back what you sense they are feeling.)

WHAT TO SAY: ▶ It sounds like you are really feeling (angry, sad, excited, shocked, etc.) by what happened. ▶ I don’t know exactly what to say right now except that I’m here for you. ▶ I’m so sorry that happened to you. ▶ This must be so tough for you. ▶ You are very brave and courageous to talk about what happened. ▶ It took a lot of courage to talk about this, and I’m proud of you. ▶ I am here to help you through your sadness. ▶ We will walk through this together. ▶ I care about you. I am here to listen to you and help you in any way.

▶ ▶ ▶ ▶

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THE BRAVE & BOLD CULMINATING CELEBRATION EVENT This is an optional event that celebrates the completion of Brave & Bold, marking a milestone with gratitude and reflection. This can be a significant and special defining moment to launch the students into their futures. It could be held at a facility, a park, or a beach and include an activity like hiking, swimming, fishing, or zip-lining.

You can keep this event to include just you and the students; however, consider inviting parents to it. You can also have the students invite their father or father figure to it. Another option is to have students invite up to two mentors of their choice, which could include parents.

Prepare a simple program for the event. Please use the following options as a springboard to tailor the event.

• One of each student’s guests would be asked to prepare in advance and read a short letter of affirmation to the student in front of the audience after the student shared their reflections.

• As part of the program, have each student prepare a short speech they can read to the audience that can include reflections on the following questions:

• As the facilitator of the journey, share your reflections and affirmations.

▶ Self-Awareness: In what ways have you grown to view yourself differently/more positively? ▶ Transformation: How did this journey impact you?

Share 1-2 ways you were changed by the Brave & Beautiful Journey. How have you grown? ▶ Regarding Connecting the Dots articles in Journey 4: Share one or more big takeaways after going through the articles on pornography, sexual violence, and sex trafficking. What new perspectives have you gained? ▶ Being Brave and Bold: In what ways have you been encouraged to be brave through this journey? In what ways has your boldness been affirmed through this journey?

• Celebrate around a meal and/or provide food or snack refreshments following the formal program.

• Depending on your time allotment, invite a guest speaker who can inspire, encourage, and affirm the students.

• Consider gifting the students the Dream Big Journal: Keys to Unlock your Dreams, a companion resource for their next steps found at MicheleOkimura.com, or consider going through the Dream Big Journal curriculum as a follow-up.

NOTE: With your students’ permission, please send their letters or a summary of their reflections, along with your feedback and/or endorsement, to info@thebraveseries.com.

Thank you! We look forward to hearing from you and your students.

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FOR PARENTS: A RIGHT OF PASSAGE EVENT FOR YOUR TEEN SON We have added this activity that can be meaningful for your son. We wanted to mention this idea to you now so you can envision the possibilities as you feel led—be creative! This celebration event can help him to grow in confidence, know his value, and embrace his true identity!

meaning to the item they gift to him, which they will share at the event. Encourage them to be creative! Plan the details of the party using your creativity to make it special and memorable!

Be innovative and simply use this activity as a springboard to tailor it to how you want to bless your teen. Here are a few milestone ages that this activity can be applied to:

Sometime during the event, have a time when each of the invited guests presents their letter and gift to your teen son.

Each guest is to read his letter, give his wrapped gift to him (have your son open the gift), and explain the meaning behind the gift they gave. Taking photos during the event, including a final group shot, can also be special.

AT THE EVENT

• In the Jewish culture, when a boy turns 12 or 13, a Bar Mitzvah celebration takes place as a coming-ofage ceremony into adulthood.

AFTER THE EVENT

• When a boy graduates high school, this can also be a year to celebrate with this activity since he will be moving on to college, higher education, trade school, or the workforce.

Collect the letters written to your son. You could place them into an album or a large envelope with any photos from the event.

This event could be a gathering at home or part of an actionfilled day, such as hiking on a mountain trail or swimming at a beach. Consider incorporating your son’s favorite activity.

WHO TO INVITE? You could invite a few or many men who are especially close to your teen son. They could be family members, coaches, or mentors. You can choose to involve your teen son in deciding who to invite to this event. This will be a powerful time of men affirming and loving on your teen son, welcoming him into the season of becoming a young man!

PREPARATION Ahead of time, ask the men invited to write a one-page (or so) letter to your teen son, expressing their love and sharing their wisdom and hopes for him as he enters a new season of his life. Inform them that they will be reading their letter to him as part of the program at the event. Their letters could later be put into an album for your teen son to keep. Ask the invited guests to bring a symbolic gift that expresses what they appreciate about your son. They are to attach a positive

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The Brave & Bold Journey 4-Volume Book Overview

Journey 01

Journey 02

HE IS BRAVE & BOLD Defining What is Brave & Bold

LET IT GO The Value of Forgiveness

KNOW YOURSELF Becoming Self-Aware

GOOD GRIEF Dealing with Losses in Life

STAND FIRM Being Secure and Confident

UNRAVELLING EMOTIONS Navigating Anger, Fear, and Anxiety

YOUR DESIGN Discovering Your Uniqueness

STAY THE COURSE Persevering Through Hardships

BORN TO CREATE Activating Your Creativity

PARENTS AND YOU Exploring the Impact of Parents

FREEDOM TO DREAM Dreaming Big for Your Life

FORGED IN COMMUNITY The Value of Belonging to a Community

Discover Purpose

Dig Deeper

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Journey 03

Journey 04

BUILDING YOUR CORE Establishing Character

PORNOGR APHY........................

APHY ........................ 14 The Negative Effects of Pornography

VALUES TO LIVE BY Embracing Key Values for Success

OVERCOMING TR AUMA............

AUMA ............ 28 Understanding Trauma

LEADERSHIP Becoming an Effective Leader

SEXUAL VIOLENCE. . ..................... 40 Addressing Sexual Violence

FRIENDSHIP Building Healthy Friendships

SEX TRAFFICKING.. ...................... 56 Protect Yourself and Others from Victimization

Develop Foundation

Daring Pursuit

THE POWER OF WORDS Life-Giving Communication

RISING STRONG. . ......................... 76 Onward with Vision and Purpose

HE PROTECTS Guarding, Defending, and Supporting Others

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PORNOGRAPHY

CHAPTER 01 • PAGES 14 - 27

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

The Negative Effects of Pornography • In this chapter, which article stood out to you the most, and why? What was a takeaway from this chapter?

• What were your thoughts about the topic of pornography before reading this chapter? Did your viewpoint change, or did the articles just reinforce what you already knew? If so, how did it change?

• What is something new you learned about pornography?

• Recognize that objectification (looking at people and treating people as objects rather than human beings with feelings and thoughts) reduces human dignity. How does pornography objectify people, as shared in the first article in this chapter?

• There is a saying, “Porn kills love,” that the Fight the New Drug organization has used since it began. In what ways do you think porn kills love or impacts personal identity and relationships?

• Over the years, there has been a growing number of teens struggling with a pornography addiction, both guys and girls. Without naming names, what is your general observation of teens watching porn? Why do you think that is?

• What factors in society and culture do you think contribute to the pornography epidemic?

• We want to be a safe place, a safe family, where people can get help if they are struggling with pornography. What contributes to creating a safe culture where people can feel comfortable voicing their struggles and asking for help?

ACTIVITIES

Brain Facts Materials Needed: • smartphone or laptop, with internet access to gather information on the negative effects of pornography on the brain and/or relationships • paper for notes, or a laptop for recording facts in a document

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Instructions: 1. Have the participants research the negative effects of pornography on the brain and/or relationships. They can read articles and research studies to gather interesting and helpful information. You can decide to have participants work in pairs or individually. *ANOTHER OPTION: You can have the participants visit: https://fightthenewdrug.org and read articles on their site.

2. You can give them 15-30 minutes to gather the information.

3. In the larger group, have a time of sharing their findings and facts.

4. Discuss what was highlighted to them when learning about the negative consequences of watching pornography.

Porn Vs. Love Materials Needed: • preview the video on: https://fightthenewdrug.org under videos entitled Brain Heart World. (*As a leader, use your judgment to watch the video together with the teen guys. This would be suitable for many teen guys to watch.)

Instructions: 1. Discuss: ▶ Why is it so important to be mindful about what we set our eyes on? Our mind on? ▶ Share an example of how what we ‘feed’ our eyes can influence our minds and our hearts.

2. If you watched the video Brain Heart World together, discuss your takeaways.

SYSTEM OVERRIDE // Taking Back Control Materials Needed: • paper pens • stapler (for later)

Instructions: 1. Introduce the lesson, “Alright, bring it in. Today we’re going to talk about something that tech companies spend billions of dollars trying to hide from you. We’re talking about the battle for your attention and your dopamine.

We all know the feeling: You’re bored, you’re stressed, or you’re lonely, and you reach for the phone. Maybe it’s doomscrolling, maybe it’s gaming, or maybe—let’s be real—it’s porn.

I’m not here to lecture you - I’m here to tell you that your brain is being hacked. Porn and infinite scrolling are designed to keep you numb and distracted. Today is about arming yourself so you control the device, instead of the device controlling you.”

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2. Share the analogy of a high-performance engine: Share, “Think of your brain like a high-performance engine. You can put high-octane fuel in it (real connection, sleep, exercise, learning), or you can put sugar in the tank.” ▶ Ask: “When you are bored or stressed, what is the easiest ‘sugar’ to grab?” (Phone, TikTok, Porn). ▶ Ask: “What do you usually do in the first 15 minutes of the morning and the last 15 minutes at night? Why are those times the dangerous zones?” (Acknowledge: The brain is tired and willpower is low).

3. Discuss the physical effects of watching pornography: “Here is the reality about porn and excessive screen time: It’s not about ‘pleasure’ or ‘happiness.’ It’s about a chemical called Dopamine.

It tricks your brain into thinking you’ve accomplished something (like finding a mate or connecting with a tribe), but physically, you’re sitting alone in a dark room.

It is a ‘Supernormal Stimulus’—a cheap, digital imitation of real life.

The result? You feel emptier and less motivated to go out and get the real thing (real relationships, real achievements).”

4. Introduce the writing project. The group will create a “THE RESET PLAYBOOK” (20-25 Minutes) Explain: “The hardest part of breaking a habit is the ‘Trigger Moment.’ It’s that split second where you feel bored, and your thumb automatically moves to the app. You need a weapon for that moment that isn’t digital.

We are going to write our own RESET PLAYBOOK. This will be a physical, printed manual—written by us, for us— containing strategies to hack our brains back.”

The Assignment: Assign each student (or pairs) a “Day” (Day 1 through Day 7/14/etc.). They must create a page for the booklet containing three items: ▶ The Code Name (Title): A cool title for that day.

- Examples: “The Fire Escape,” “Embrace the Suck,” “Glitch in the Matrix,” “Wired for War.” ▶ The Intel (Quote/Fact): Use a powerful quote from a Navy SEAL, an athlete, a Stoic philosopher, or a psychological fact about the brain.

- Example: “You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius - Example: “Discipline equals freedom.” – Jocko Willink ▶ The Tactic (2-5 Sentences): A short, punchy piece of advice on how to handle an urge or a bad mood without a screen.

- Example: “When the urge hits, drop and do 20 pushups immediately. Change your physiology to change your psychology. Don’t negotiate with yourself. Just move.”

Teacher Note: Collect these pages. Type them up/format them into a cool-looking ‘Zine’ or booklet. Print them and staple them to hand out at the next meeting.

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5. Introduce the application challenge: THE DOPAMINE DETOX (5 Minutes) Share: “Once you get these booklets [next week], here is the challenge. We are doing a 48-Hour Dopamine Detox.

Next weekend (or pick a timeframe), no non-essential screens. No social media. No gaming. No porn.”

Share the following possible action steps: ▶ When you feel the urge to pick up the phone, you pick up The Playbook instead. ▶ Read a page. Do the tactic. ▶ Go outside. Work out. Talk to a human face-to-face.

6. Encourage the teens in closing, “Let’s prove that your identity isn’t linked to your signal strength. Let’s prove you can survive—and thrive—without the digital pacifier.”

“The algorithm is betting against you. It wants you weak, distracted, and clicking. We are betting on you. We are betting that you are strong enough to unplug and live a real life.

Look around the room. You aren’t fighting this alone. If you’re struggling, speak up. If you’re winning, pull a brother up with you. Let’s get after it.”

NOTES

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OVERCOMING TRAUMA CHAPTER 02 • PAGES 28 - 39

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Understanding Trauma • What is a takeaway you had from this chapter?

• The first article on trauma uses the “tiger” analogy. Discuss how under intense pressure (a bad grade, a difficult conflict, or deep shame), a person can respond with one of the three F’s—Fight (anger/arguing), Flight (escaping/ scrolling), or Freeze (zoning out/numbness). Which one does each teen personally feel most tempted to rely on?

Have a time of sharing.

• Explain that trauma is called an “emotional scar.” Guys are often masters at hiding scars. Ask, “What is one healthy action we can take as a class or group to make our space feel safer to admit we have a “scar” than it is to keep wearing a “mask?”

• Highlight that friends can best help show support by being “patient, listening, and encouraging. Ask, “Which of those three things is the hardest for you to give to a friend who is going through a tough time, and why?”

• Share, “The article on suicide started with a massive dilemma: An 8th grader was forced to promise not to tell anyone that his friend wanted to commit suicide. As guys, we value loyalty and keeping secrets, but this scenario flips the script. If you were in that student’s shoes, why do you think it is so hard to break that promise, and how would you gather the courage to speak up knowing your friend might be angry with you?”

• Share, “Teenagers are dealing with body changes, navigating through feelings of worthiness, meeting expectations, and so many other issues. Looking at the pressures listed in the article on suicide (physical appearance, school/parents, social media, dating), which one do you think is the biggest source of stress for guys your age right now, and why?”

• Explain, “This chapter lists 10 things you can do if you are the one emotionally struggling—things like limiting social media, exercising, or finding a creative outlet. If you hit the bottom of that roller coaster, which two items from that list would be in your personal ‘Battle Plan’ to help you get your head back in the game?”

• If you feel comfortable sharing briefly, how many of you know of someone who committed suicide? Discuss how painful that can be for those left behind, and discuss that there is no shame in seeking help through counseling if the struggle is intense! Emphasize how we need others to walk with us through tough times.

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ACTIVITIES

The Power Of The Pause Instructions: 1. Begin the discussion, “You’ve heard the phrase, ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ That’s only half true. What doesn’t kill you can leave you with scars, and those scars often make us feel defensive, angry, or numb.

Today, we’re talking about those hidden scars—trauma. Trauma isn’t just one huge event (like a wreck or loss); it can be a slow, steady stream of stress, emotional pain, or repeated difficulty. It’s not a weakness; it’s a completely normal response to an abnormal situation. Real strength is learning how to deal with that hurt, not hide it.”

2. Discuss: “If you tear a muscle in the gym or sprain an ankle at practice, you ice it, you rest it, you rehab it. But when your mind gets stressed or hurt, what do guys usually do?” (Let them answer: ignore it, get angry, sleep, play video games).

3. Review the 3 Fs: Fight, Flight, or Freeze. Share, “Your brain has a built-in security system called the Amygdala. Its only job is to keep you alive.

When you sense a threat—whether it’s a fistfight, a friend rejecting or betraying you, or your dad yelling—your brain dumps adrenaline and cortisol into your blood. It shuts down the ‘thinking’ part of your brain (the Logic Center) and turns on the ‘survival’ part.

The problem? Your brain can’t tell the difference between a tiger trying to eat you and a stressful text message. It reacts the same way. It gets stuck in the ‘ON’ position.”

4. Review the following and share any personal examples from your life or examples you know of: ▶ FIGHT (The Explosion): This isn’t just throwing punches. It’s snapping at your parents, road rage, punching a wall, or needing to control everything around you because you feel out of control inside. ▶ FLIGHT (The Eject Button): This is running away. For you, it probably looks like numbing out.

Doom-scrolling for 3 hours, gaming until 4 AM to avoid thinking, or ghosting people when things get awkward. ▶ FREEZE (The Glitch): The ‘Blue Screen of Death.’ You shut down. You feel numb. You know you have stuff to do, but you literally can’t make yourself move. You’re paralyzed by the pressure.

5. Explain, “When you are in Fight, Flight, or Freeze, you are basically time-traveling. Your brain is obsessing over the past (what happened) or panicking about the future (what might happen).

To hack the system and get your Logic Brain back online, you have to force your brain into the PRESENT. We call this Grounding. It’s a great reset for your brain.”

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6. Practicing the Grounding Anchor Technique: Preparation: Have everyone close their eyes for a moment and take three deep breaths—in for 4, hold for 4, out for 6.

The Anchor (5-4-3-2-1 Technique): Guide them through this slowly.

STEP

FOCUS

5

SIGHT

4

TOUCH

3

HEAR

2

SMELL

1

TASTE

ACTION Open your eyes. Name five things you can see right now (e.g., a chair, the light fixture, a crack in the wall, my shoe, my friend’s hat).

Name four things you can physically feel (e.g., the texture of my jeans, the smooth floor, my watch on my wrist, the chair under my butt).

Name three things you can hear (e.g., the air conditioning, someone breathing, traffic outside).

Name two things you can smell (e.g., the pizza from earlier, the cleaning product on the floor.

Name one thing you can taste (e.g., my gum, water, the lingering flavor)

7. Discuss: How did that exercise feel? (It might feel weird, but it works!)

Why does this work?

The Answer you want: It works because your brain cannot process sensory data (counting things, feeling textures) and panic at the same time. You are physically forcing your brain to reboot.

8. Final Challenge: Share, “Here is the takeaway. Trauma and stress try to tell you that you are broken or that you are a victim. But you have the power to override that system.”

Share the following tips when a ‘Red Alert’ kicks in: 1. Pause. Don’t text back, don’t throw the controller, don’t yell.

2. Run the Protocol. Do the 5-4-3-2-1.

3. Pivot to Truth. Once you are calm, tell yourself one true thing.” ▶ Instead of Fighting: Tell yourself, “I don’t need to prove myself. I am in control of my actions.” ▶ Instead of Flight: Tell yourself, “I can handle this uncomfortable feeling. I don’t need to escape.” ▶ Instead of Freeze: Tell yourself, “I just need to take one small step right now.”

9. The Huddle (Closing): Share: “Look, life is going to throw heavy stuff at you. That’s a guarantee. But you don’t have to carry it alone, and you don’t have to let it break you. If your alarm system is stuck ‘ON’ and you can’t turn it off, that doesn’t make you weak—it means you need backup. Talk to a friend, talk to a mentor, talk to me. Let’s get out of here.”

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The Spotter Protocol

Materials Needed: • heavy objects, such as a backpack full of books, a water jug, a dumbbell, sandbags, etc.

• smartphones

Instructions: 1. Introduce The Warm-Up: The Wall-Sit Challenge: ▶ Line everyone up against a sturdy wall. ▶ Command: “Drop into a wall sit! Knees at 90 degrees. Hands off your legs.” ▶ The Twist: Hand the first guy in the line a heavy object (dumbbell or loaded backpack). Tell them they have to pass the weight down the line while holding the sit. ▶ As the burn sets in and legs start shaking, shout coach-style encouragement (“Hold the line!”, “Don’t quit on me!”). ▶ Wait until total muscle failure happens and bodies hit the floor.

2. Share a debrief summary. Say: “Gentlemen, shake it out. Look around. We have athletes here, we have tough guys. But every single one of you hit a point where your muscles failed. Gravity always wins eventually.

Here is the reality of the weight room: If you are bench pressing your max weight and your muscles fail, what happens if you are alone in the gym? The bar crushes your throat. You get hurt, or worse.

But if you have a Spotter, you can push to your limit safely. If you fail, the Spotter grabs the bar.

Today, we are talking about mental weight. Stress, depression, anxiety. When the weight of life crushes a friend, are you just watching from the sidelines, or do you know how to spot him?”

3. Discuss the ‘tough guy’ myth. Share that, “There is often an unspoken code among guys that says we don’t talk about feelings. We think being strong means being silent. That is a lie, and it’s dangerous.

Think about the gym again. You don’t spot a guy because he’s weak. You spot him because the weight is heavy. Asking for a spot isn’t weakness; it’s intelligence.”

4. Introduce the case study on the Rock: “You guys know Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson? The biggest action star on the planet. Literal tough guy.

He has been open about his battle with depression. When he was young, he watched his mom try to walk into traffic because she was so hopeless. He pulled her back—he was her spotter that day. Later, his dream of playing in the NFL was crushed, and he hit a low point where he didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere. He said, ‘I reached a point where I didn’t want to do a thing or go anywhere. I was crying constantly.’

If The Rock can hit rock bottom, so can you. So can your best friend. Being depressed doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. Being a friend means you don’t let your bro stay at rock bottom alone.”

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5. Introduce the S.P.O.T. Protocol. Ask, “So what do you do if your friend talks about wanting to die, or jokes about dying, or is acting unusually, and you suspect they are struggling with hopelessness? How do you be a friend to them?”

Write the word SPOT on a whiteboard or large paper up front. You will now discuss the meaning of each letter of this acronym.

Remind them that they can be the Spotter. Introduce this protocol they can use using the acronym S.P.O.T. S - See the Weight (Recognize the Signs) Guys usually don’t cry when they are depressed. We get angry, or we go quiet. ▶ Look for: Rage/snapping at people, withdrawing (leaving the group chat, ghosting plans), risky stuff (driving too fast, substance abuse), or dark/cynical jokes about ‘not being here.’ ▶ The Rule: Trust your gut. If something feels off, it is.

P - Press In (Ask the Question) This is the hardest part. You have to push past the awkwardness. ▶ Don’t ask: “Are you good?” (They will always say, “I’m fine.”) ▶ Do say: “Hey man, you haven’t been yourself lately. You seem down and I’m actually worried about you. Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” ▶ Myth-Buster: Asking about suicide does NOT plant the idea in their head. It actually relieves the pressure because they finally don’t have to hide it.

O - Offer Cover (Stay with Them) If they say “yes” or admit they are struggling with suicidal thoughts or hurting themselves: ▶ Do not leave them alone. Seek a trusted adult for help and guidance if needed, even if your friend does not want to seek help. Remember, you are not expected to be completely responsible for your friend - you need support too. ▶ Say: “I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere. We are going to figure this out.” ▶ Listen without fixing: You don’t have to fix it. You aren’t a therapist. You can communicate your support, which can mean a lot. You can say, “I’m here. I’ve got you. I’m here for you.

T - Tag Out (Get an Adult) This is where the ‘Bro Code’ dies so your friend can live. Because you are not a professional mental health counselor, it can feel overwhelming when trying to give support to a friend going through a tough emotional state. Seek a trusted adult for help and guidance. ▶ The Rule: If a life is at risk, secrecy is over. ▶ You can say something like: “I respect and care for you too much to let you die. I can’t handle this alone.

We need to go talk to [Youth Pastor/Coach/Counselor] right now. I’ll walk with you.” ▶ If they refuse, YOU go tell the adult anyway. Better to have a friend who is alive and mad at you than a friend who hurts themselves or is gone.

6. Transition to practicing navigating through real-life situations. Split the guys into groups of 3. Read the following text message scenario. Have them decide what they would text back and what they would do.

The Scenario: It’s 11:30 PM. Your friend Jason, who recently got cut from the varsity team and broke up with his girlfriend, sends this text to the group chat:

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“I’m just tired of it all, honestly. You guys are better off without me dragging the vibe down. Peace.” Then he leaves the group chat and won’t answer his phone.

7. Discuss ▶ Is this serious, or is he just looking for attention? (Answer: Always treat it as serious). ▶ What is your immediate move? ▶ Who do you call? ▶ Discuss the correct actions (Call him repeatedly, call his parents, call the police if you believe immediate danger is present).

8. Remind the students that: ▶ You are not their savior. You can be a friend, a spotter, and a brother, but you cannot fix them. ▶ There is hope. Emotions feel very real, but they can quickly change. Seasons of depression come to an end and are followed by seasons of hope - if we persevere.

9. (optional) Ask the group to share other types of possible scenarios that teens face with depressed friends.

Discuss positive, helpful ways to respond in such situations.

10. Call to Action: Ask the teens to pull out their smartphones and open their contacts. Ask them to save the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in their phone right then. They call it ‘Lifeline.’ Explain that if any of them are hurting tonight, invite them to come talk to one of the leaders. Explain how we want to be there for each other.

11. Closing Huddle: Say, “Look, we are a team. We look out for each other. If anyone here is feeling that weight tonight, don’t try to bench press it alone. Grab me, grab a coach, grab a friend. Let’s head out.”

NOTES

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SEXUAL VIOLENCE

CHAPTER 03 • PAGES 40 - 55

*BEFORE DISCUSSING, PLEASE READ THIS IMPORTANT NOTICE! Please check your state laws to see if you are a mandated reporter of sexual violence. If you are a mandated reporter, then if a minor shares with you that they were or are being sexually abused, you are mandated to report this to government authorities.

If you are NOT a family member or relative of the teen boy or boys in your 1:1 mentorship or small group, please mention this BEFORE your discussion: If any of the boys have been sexually abused in their past (even if they were inappropriately touched) or are currently being abused, then please instruct them to NOT share about this in the group. This is private information that you would not want the guys in your small group to have to navigate through.

You want to handle such a sensitive situation as best you can.

Instead, encourage them to tell a trusted family member, relative, or trusted adult to get help. If you are in a 1:1 mentorship and the teen boy wants to share with you as a trusted adult or family member, then respond compassionately and be prepared to help.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Addressing Sexual Violence • What new facts did you learn about sexual abuse? Remind the guys that sexual violence and trauma can range from being inappropriately touched to more aggressive situations.

• A person can be sexually abused not only by adults, but by peers or friends. Some research indicates that possibly as many as 1 in 3 men have been sexually abused in some way in their lifetime. What are some comments or reflections you have about such facts?

• Have you ever had a situation—online or in person—where your gut told you “nope,” but you ignored it? What happened, and why do you think we sometimes ignore our own instincts?

• We often hear about grooming or exploitation happening to girls, but this article makes it clear that it happens to guys, too (like sextortion or financial scams). Why do you think guys are often hesitant to admit they are being manipulated or pressured?

• The first article describes “Romantic Ultimatums” (e.g., “If you really loved me, you’d do this”). If a girl or a friend uses that line on you, the article says it’s manipulation, not love. How do you respond to that in the heat of the moment without losing your cool? (Have the group share possible responses - what words they can use when in that situation to resist the pressure.)

• If you saw a friend being pressured—either by a partner or an older person—would you speak up? What risks would you be afraid of?

• Be honest: Does it annoy you when someone touches your phone or posts a bad pic of you without asking? Why is that small stuff actually “training” for the big stuff?

• Leader’s Note: Help them see that if they can’t respect a “no” regarding a phone, they won’t respect a “no” regarding a body.

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• The article on consent ends with: “Real respect always honors your ‘no.’ Real love waits for your ‘yes.’” How is this definition of “Real Love” different from what you see in movies, music videos, or on social media?

• After reading Wounded But Not Shattered, what are your main takeaways from the article?

• The article on healing sexual trauma says, “It is hard to heal yourself in isolation.” Why is the “Lone Wolf ” mentality actually the most dangerous way to handle trauma? Who benefits when we stay silent? Leader’s Note: Silence protects the abuser. Breaking the silence protects the victim.

ACTIVITIES

The Captain and The Towel Materials Needed: • red, yellow, and green construction paper (or distinct objects/flags) • masking tape (to mark a line on the floor) • smartphones (for the closing activity) • whiteboard/Markers • (optional) Video from YouTube: Fight Child Abuse. (2020. May 12). Teenagers and Sexual Abuse [Video]. YouTube. https:// youtu.be/aOwmLMnZwi4?si=KVHmw2wRkPgYUZo2

Instructions: 1. SET UP for warm-up activity: Place a long line of masking tape on the floor. ▶ Get two volunteers. “Volunteer A” stands on the tape line. “Volunteer B” starts 15 feet away. ▶ Tell Volunteer B to walk slowly toward A. ▶ Tell Volunteer A: “Your job is to hold up your hand and say ‘STOP’ the moment you feel B is ‘too close’ for comfort. Do not let him get in your bubble.” ▶ The Variable: Run it again with new volunteers, but tell Volunteer B to sprint at A, or sneak up from behind.

2. Debrief and ask: “Why did some of you say ‘stop’ at 4 feet, and others at 2 feet?” ▶ Answer: Everyone’s boundaries are different. Ask: “How did the vibe change when he ran at you or snuck up on you?” ▶ Answer: It went from ‘awkward’ to ‘threat.’

3. Summarize and highlight the takeaway from this activity: “We all have an invisible electric fence around us. That is your Boundary. You have the right to set that fence wherever you want. Today, we’re talking about why you have the right to that ‘Stop’ line—physically, digitally, and emotionally—and how to spot the people trying to break through it.”

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4. Introduce the concept of “social engineering.”

Say: “In cybersecurity, there is something called ‘Social Engineering.’ This is when a hacker doesn’t break the code; he tricks the person into giving up the password.

Predators—whether online or in real life—use the exact same tactics. They don’t usually jump out of bushes. They hack your trust first. Here are the 4 main glitches they try to exploit:” 5. Write the following headers on the whiteboard or put the following into a handout for the teens to refer to.

Discuss the bullet points under each header: THE LONG CON (Grooming): ▶ The Tactic: They don’t start with abuse; they start with friendship. They give you gifts (skins, money, subs), compliments, or make you feel ‘mature.’ ▶ The Red Flag: Secrecy. “Don’t tell your parents/friends I gave you this.” If they ask you to hide it, they are buying your silence.

THE PRESSURE (Coercion): ▶ The Tactic: They make you feel like you ‘owe’ them. ▶ The Script: “If you really liked me, you’d do this.” “Don’t be a loser, everyone else is doing it.” ▶ The Truth: Manipulation is not affection. If you have to be talked into it, it’s not consent.

THE BLACKMAIL (Sextortion): ▶ The Tactic: This is huge in gaming and DMs right now. You send a nude or compromising pic. Suddenly, the ‘girl’ (who is often a grown man or a bot) says, “Pay me, or I send this to your friends list/school/mom.” ▶ The Defense: Never pay. They will ask for more. Block, report, and tell an adult immediately.

THE GASLIGHT (The Accuser): ▶ The Tactic: Making you think you are the crazy one for having a boundary. “You’re overreacting.” “Can’t you take a joke?” ▶ The Truth: Trust your gut, not their words.

6. (Optional) Play the YouTube video: “Teenagers and Sexual Abuse” Discuss: “What was the one move the abuser made that tricked the victim?”

7. Introduce the Interactive Activity – “Red Flag / Green Flag” Setup: Designate one side of the room as “Green Flag” (Healthy/Safe) and the other side as “Red Flag” (Danger/ Manipulation). The middle is “Yellow” (Caution/Check-in).

8. Share that you, as the facilitator, will read a scenario to help them practice good discernment. The students are to move to the zone that matches the situation. Be ready to explain why.”

Scenarios: ▶ The Gamer: You meet a guy online who is really good at a game you play. He gifts you a rare skin but messages you: “Hey, don’t tell your parents I bought this for you; they might get mad.”

(Answer: RED FLAG. Secrecy + Gifts = Grooming behavior.) ▶ The Partner: You’re hanging out with a partner you like. You start getting a bit physical, but suddenly your partner goes stiff and quiet. They have not said “no.”

(Answer: RED FLAG. Consent must be enthusiastic. Silence is not a yes. You stop immediately.)

Continued

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▶ The Ultimatum: Your partner says, “My ex used to do [X] with me. If you aren’t willing to do it, maybe we aren’t compatible.”

(Answer: RED FLAG. This is coercion/manipulation, not love.) ▶ The Gut Check: You’re at a party. Nothing bad has happened, but you get a weird, heavy feeling in your stomach that says, “Leave.”

(Answer: GREEN FLAG on the action of leaving / RED FLAG on the situation. Trust your gut. The article says: “If something feels off, it probably is.”) ▶ The Share: You want to share a funny photo of your friend on your story. You show it to him and ask, “You cool if I post this?” He laughs and says, “Yeah, go for it.”

(Answer: GREEN FLAG. Clear consent.)

9. (optional) Tell everyone to take out their phones. Say, “We are doing two things right now to give you more security.” ▶ Action 1 (The Contact): “Everyone, open a new contact. Name it ‘Help Line.’ Put this number in: 1-800-656-4673 for the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN). You might never need it, or a friend might need it in a panic at 2 AM. Be the guy who is ready.” ▶ Action 2 (The Purge): “Take 60 seconds right now. Look at your DMs, Snap, or Discord. Is there anyone who gives you a weird vibe? Someone asking for pics? Someone asking too many personal questions? Block them. Right now. You don’t owe them an explanation. Protect your peace.”

10. Share in closing along these lines: “Gentlemen, society tells you that being a ‘man’ is about how much you can get—girls, status, dominance. That’s weak.

Real Strength isn’t about crossing boundaries; it’s about respecting them. Real Strength is having the guts to speak up when you see a friend being pressured. Real Strength is trusting your gut instinct when something feels off.

You are the leaders of this generation. Create a culture where people are safe around you, and where you are smart enough to stay safe yourselves.”

Healing Is Possible Materials Needed: • backpack with heavy books and rocks • large photo of a kintsugi pottery or a real kintsugi pottery

Instructions: 1. Introduce the lesson: “Imagine you buy a used truck. It looks decent on the outside, but two weeks later, the ‘Check Engine’ light comes on, and you hear a nasty grinding noise coming from the transmission. If you park that truck in a garage, turn off the lights, and leave it there for five years, will it be fixed when you come back?”

“What’s going to happen to it?”(Expected Answers: Rust, dead battery, tires flat, engine seized up.)

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2. Share, “Obviously, time doesn’t fix a truck. Mechanics fix trucks. Tools fix trucks. Action fixes trucks. But for some reason, when it comes to our own lives—our bad memories, trauma, or stuff that’s happened to us—we believe a lie. We think, “If I just ignore this, shove it down, and wait long enough, it’ll go away.” However, time can allow infection to spread. Today we’re talking about how to actually fix the engine so you can run at full capacity.”

3. Discuss the “Just Get Over It” myth.

Share, “In our culture, there is often great pressure on guys to be stoic like robots, not showing emotions.

But here is the science: When you suppress trauma or intense emotional pain, your body keeps the score. It’s like driving a car with the parking brake on. You might be moving, but you are burning out the engine, destroying the brakes, and wasting fuel.”

4. Discuss: “Why do you think guys specifically struggle to say, ‘Hey, I’m hurting’ or ‘I’m struggling with this memory’?”

5. Share about the science of silence. Share how psychologists have found that usually, silence acts like a pressure cooker. When a person refuses to process pain (whether it’s abuse, bullying, or a major failure), their stress hormones (cortisol) stay elevated. It makes them weaker, slower, and more reactive.

Share, “We all need to make wise decisions regarding our health. High-level athletes don’t ignore injuries; they do rehab.

Navy SEALs debrief after missions. If you want to be healthy, you have to treat your mind like a high-performance machine. You can’t run on a broken engine.”

6. Introduce a demonstration of the burden of isolation. ▶ Gather the backpack and the heavy books/rocks. ▶ Pick a volunteer (preferably a stronger guy/athlete). ▶ Have him put on the empty backpack.

7. Share, “We’re going to look at what ‘isolation’ actually weighs. I’m going to name things that guys tend to keep hidden.

For every item, I’m putting a weight in the pack.”

The Loading (Add a book for each): ▶ Book 1 (Shame): Say, “Something happened to me, or I did something I regret, and I feel ashamed.” ▶ Book 2 (Fear): Say, “I’m afraid if I speak up, people will think I’m weak or won’t believe me.” ▶ Book 3 (Self-Image): Say, “I feel like I’m damaged goods.” ▶ Book 4 (Numbing): Say, “I’m trying to numb the pain with scrolling, gaming, or substances.” ▶ Book 5 (Anger): Say, “I’m just angry at the world all the time.”

8.

Ask the volunteer to get into a push-up plank position (plank) and, if possible, do 10 push-ups.

9.

When he begins to struggle, stop the push-ups and thank the person for helping you out. Discuss with the group that this volunteer is NOT weak at all, but the load is too heavy for one person to carry alone for a long time.

Have two other guys come over. Have the same volunteer do more push-ups, but this time have the two guys lift the backpack off his shoulders while he does them.

10. Debrief by saying, “Did you see his form improve when the weight was lifted? Here is the rule for life: You cannot bench press your trauma alone. It will crush you. Real strength isn’t carrying the weight by yourself until you collapse. Real strength is having the guts to signal for backup. In the military, in sports, and in life—you need a Spotter.”

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11. Share the application, “If you have a broken leg, you don’t go to a mechanic. You go to a doctor. If you have emotional weight, you need the right kind of person to help you lift it. You need a ‘Safe Person’—someone who listens without judgment and helps you process.”

12. Challenge the group, “Your mission this week is to identify one ‘Spotter.’ It might be a mentor, a coach, a counselor, or a parent. It’s not weakness to have a guide when you are lost in the woods; it’s survival.”

13. Share closing thoughts: “I want to leave you with a concept from Japan called Kintsugi. When a valuable ceramic bowl breaks, Japanese masters don’t throw it away. They glue the pieces back together using lacquer mixed with gold dust. The result is that the bowl is actually stronger at the broken points, and it is considered more beautiful because it has a history.

Whatever you are carrying—whatever cracks you think you have—you aren’t ‘trash.’ If you do the work, if you process the pain and get a spotter, you don’t just go back to ‘normal.’ You experience Post-Traumatic Growth. You become stronger, wiser, and more resilient than the guy who never went through anything.”

Leader’s Note: “Offer to be available after class if possible to be a safe place, a spotter for them.

14. (optional) Share: “If this lesson stirred something up in you, or if you are carrying something heavy right now, I am hanging around after we dismiss. I am a safe place. You don’t have to carry the backpack out the door.”

NOTES

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SEX TRAFFICKING PREVENTION CHAPTER 04 • PAGES 56 - 75

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Protect Yourself and Others from Victimization • What new facts did you learn about sex trafficking that you did not know before?

• On page 61, there is a list of tips for online protection. Which tip or tips especially stood out to you that you want to apply right away?

• Referring to the article on page 62, “It Happened to Me! A Guy!” ask: ▶ In what way did Jami’s friend handle the situation wisely? ▶ Could Jami himself have done something differently? If so, what is another way he could have handled the situation? ▶ What would you do if someone approached you like Jami was approached? ▶ What would you do if someone followed you around trying to get you to come with them or get your phone number?

• Sex trafficking happens in many, if not all, communities at some level. However, many people are unaware that it is happening around them. In your school or community, how prevalent do you think sex trafficking is? Share any experiences or something you observed that looked suspicious. *Remind the participants that throughout Brave & Bold, the sex-trafficking hotline is handy for them to call should they need help or if someone they know wants help.

• Do you have any questions about sex trafficking? Any comments or thoughts? Share that as a teacher/leader/parent, you may not have all the answers, but together, answers can be discovered!

• In the compilation of stories entitled “Voices of Freedom,” Which of the three testimonies by the survivors touched your heart the most? Why? • Know that it took courage for these survivors to share their personal stories with you. If these survivors were sitting in front of you right now, what questions would you ask them? What would you want to tell them?

ACTIVITIES

Friendship Insights Materials Needed: • index cards • three mini posters with the words FORCE, COERCION, and FRAUD written on them • drawing paper or canvas for each participant, or poster paper if you want the group to work in pairs • colored pencils, markers, or paint (for painting on canvases)

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Instructions: 1. Have the guys write a definition of sex trafficking in their own words on their index card.

2. Ask for volunteers to share their definition.

3. Review the definition of sex trafficking in the first paragraph in the article, “What is Sex Trafficking?” on page 56.

4. Discuss what they think the definitions of the words force, coercion, and fraud are. Then share these simple working definitions: ▶ Force: when violence is used to control someone ▶ Coercion: when threats and manipulation are used to control someone ▶ Fraud: when lies and deceit are used to control someone 5. Share and discuss: “When you think about the subject of slavery, which usually involves putting a price on someone’s life, treating a person as property or an object to be used, what thoughts and feelings come up for you?”

6. Share the following statistics: ▶ There are millions of modern-day slaves in existence today. ▶ Thousands of people get trafficked every year. ▶ The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) reported that they estimate over one million children and teens enter the sex trade every year. ▶ The National Center for Homeless Education found that approximately 1 in 3 runaway teens will be approached by a sex trafficker within 48 hours of being on the street.

7. Contrast the slavery of a person with the intrinsic value a person has.

8. Give each participant a drawing paper or a canvas. Using colored pencils, markers, or paints, have them create an image that expresses anything they want to express about this issue of sex trafficking.

9. The following are just some ideas, but encourage the guys to be creative! There is no right or wrong way! *Another option is to work in pairs, creating their message on poster paper. It could: ▶ Symbolize the pain of victims. ▶ Communicate a message against sex trafficking. ▶ Illustrate an awareness message. ▶ Express their feelings.

10. After the artwork is complete, set aside time for each participant to share their artwork. Encourage each participant to make a positive observation about each piece and share what it communicates to them personally.

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RISING STRONG

CHAPTER 05 • PAGES 76 - 89

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Onward with Vision and Purpose • What is a takeaway from this chapter?

• Once you know an injustice exists (like bullying, trafficking, or poverty), do you feel any sense of responsibility to do something about it? Why or why not? Why is “ignoring it” so tempting?

•

If trafficking is driven by demand, mostly from men in the world, what is a role we can take as young and older men alike in stopping it? How does the way we talk about others or what we watch online feed that “demand” or protect others?

• Usually, the things that make us the angriest are the things we are called to fix. What is one injustice or problem in the world (or just at our school) that makes you genuinely angry?

• When you look at the problems facing teenagers today (anxiety, addiction, broken families), does it feel “Impossible” to fix? Share about any organization or person you know who is taking action in being part of the solution to a problem.

• If you could start a charitable organization and you were given ALL the resources you needed, what would it be?

• What is one thing you wish you were amazing at, and what is one thing you are actually naturally good at (even if it’s totally random)?

• It took the author of the article Your Rising Path years—going from writer, to artist, to marketing, to church work—before he found his true calling in anti-trafficking. Does hearing that relieve the pressure to pick your “forever career” right now? Why do you think we feel so much pressure to have it all figured out in high school?

• The author of Arise a Hero says, “I believed I was a powerless victim feeling used, abused, and taken for granted.” This is a “Victim Mindset.” Why is it actually easier to stay a victim and blame everyone else than it is to take responsibility and change?

• What is one specific talent you have (gaming, sports, listening, fixing cars) that you can use to help someone this week?

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ACTIVITIES

The Front Seat Materials Needed: •

YouTube Video (3:26): Hawaii’s News Now. (2025, January 10). Former gang member turned youth minister begins prison sentence [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/ FRXwKmHoWqg?si=4l6iylEImreA0c51

•

two chairs arranged like a car (one in front, one directly behind)

•

a toy pair of handcuffs (or a zip tie/rope)

•

blue glow sticks (optional, for “Operation Blue Light” effect)

•

index cards and pens

Instructions: 1. Introduce the game, “Unlikely Allies.”

2. Divide the room into two groups. Name one group “The Grandpas” and the other “The Gangsters.” (Make it fun/funny).

Give them a seemingly impossible task to solve only by working together. (Example: “Building a human pyramid where the ‘Grandpas’ have to be the base and the ‘Gangsters’ have to be the top,” or a complex riddle).

Tell them the rule: They cannot talk. They have to use hand signals (like the Shaka).

3. The Debrief: After the game, share, “In the game, you had to work with people you were labeled against. The article we read talked about a neighborhood where ‘Grandmas and Gangsters’ teamed up to shut down a drug house.

Usually, those two groups don’t mix. But when they united for a purpose, they won.” Today, we’re looking at how to stop fighting against our community and promote unity.”

4. Place the two chairs in the center of the room. You, the teacher, sit in the Back Seat.

5. Retell the story of Mana in the article “Arise a Hero” by sharing, “The article tells the story of a guy named Mana. He was an ex-gang leader, incarcerated for 26 years. For most of his life, his view of the world was from right here—the back of a police car. Handcuffed. Angry. A victim.”

“But then, the author Allen gave him a chance to serve his community. During ‘Operation Blue Light,’ Mana had to deliver Christmas gifts with the police.

Imagine this: Mana is sitting in the front seat. He’s weeping. Why? Because the police had killed his brother years ago. He had every reason to hate them. But in that moment, he chose to forgive. He chose to be a partner instead of a prisoner.

Allen told him: ‘Give the Shaka sign. Show them you aren’t in handcuffs (hold up the handcuffs). Show them you’re free.’”

6. Share, “Mana sat in the front seat of the police car as an example of how a person can experience a radical turn around.”

Ask, “Are you living in the back seat (letting your past mistakes or your anger drive you) or the front seat (leading with purpose)?”

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7. Share, “Allen Cardines, the author of the article, said his passion is to help people win ‘the personal, private, painful battles that no one can see.’

A lot of us act tough at school, but in our heads, we are losing the war. We can feel like victims. ‘My teacher hates me.’

‘My dad left me.’ ‘This town sucks.’ That mindset is a trap. Allen then went on to say ‘I now believe I am powerful, not powerless, because I can choose my attitude.’”

8. Introduce a short writing activity. Hand out index cards.

9. Ask the guys to write down ONE thing that makes them feel “handcuffed” (trapped/angry). Examples: Porn addiction, hatred toward a stepdad, jealousy of a friend, shame about a past mistake.

Then, have them fold the card.

Then they must come to the front, tear the card in half, and throw it in a trash can. Explain this is a symbolic act of not letting that issue handcuff them in life, preventing them from reaching their potential.

10. Share, “You don’t beat darkness by punching it. You beat it by turning on a light. You don’t beat hate with more hate.

You beat it with ‘Aloha’—with the genuine hope and love.”

11. Summarize, “Each of you is called to be a Hero, not a Zero. A Hero isn’t someone who flies; it’s someone who heals.

This week, I want you to find one ‘Unlikely Ally’ (a teacher, a parent, a kid at school who annoys you) and do one specific thing to make their life better. Confuse them with kindness.”

12. Pass out the blue glow sticks and crack them so they glow. Turn off the lights.

Share: “This is it, gentlemen. We have arrived at the finish line of the series, but the starting line of your lives.

This article, “Arise a Hero,” is like a send-off. It’s telling us that reading about being “Brave & Bold” is useless unless we actually get up off the couch and live it.

The number one thing that often kills potential in young men is procrastination—the idea that “I can’t start until I’m ready.” This lesson is designed to shatter that lie. Let’s treat this Brave & Bold journey as our Launch Pad!”

The Bio Hack Muscle Test Materials Needed: •

dominoes: A massive pile of them

•

“rough draft” Items: A crumpled piece of paper, a visual graphic of an architecture blueprint, and a messy lump of clay

•

sharpies and a large wooden plank (or cardboard): For the final signing

•

exciting, upbeat music

•

a large graphic of an architecture blueprint

Instructions: 1. Before the guys enter, set up the room to be incredibly boring. No music. Chairs in rows. Put up a sign that says “WAITING ROOM.” When they sit down, tell them: “We are waiting for the perfect moment to start the lesson. We aren’t ready yet.

Just sit there.”

Let it be awkward for a full 60 seconds. Let them get annoyed.

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2. Suddenly, play high-energy music. Kick over a chair (safely).

3. Ask, “How much did you hate that? Just sitting? Waiting? The article says: ‘Life isn’t a waiting room... It’s easy to fall into the rhythm of just existing... sleep, repeat.’ Maybe some of you are living your life like you’re in a waiting room. You’re waiting to be older, waiting to be smarter, waiting to not have acne, waiting to be ‘holy enough.’ Newsflash: The perfect moment is never coming. The only moment you have is NOW. Today, we leave the waiting room.”

4. Hold up the visual of the building’s architectural blueprint.

Then hold up a picture of the finished skyscraper.

Then hold up the crumpled paper/messy clay.

5. Share, “The last article in the chapter said: ‘Every dream that has changed the world started as a rough draft.’

We have a problem, guys. We look at Instagram and we see everyone’s ‘Final Draft.’ We see the finished muscle, the signed contract, the perfect relationship. We don’t see the struggle.

The author admits she felt ‘too small, too unqualified, too insecure.’ She had imposter syndrome.”

6. Explain, “The author shares something vulnerable in this text. She says her desire to help people came from ‘rejection and trauma.’ She says, ‘I struggled with literally hating myself.’

Some of you are there right now. You think your trauma, your parents’ divorce, your addiction, or the bullying you faced disqualifies you.

The Truth is…your pain is actually your credential. ▶ If you’ve struggled with loneliness, you are uniquely qualified to help others who are lonely. ▶ If you’ve struggled with addiction, you are uniquely qualified to help the addict. ▶ If you’ve felt rejected, you know how to make people feel accepted.

Your ‘Why’ is usually buried in your wounds. Don’t hide your scars; they are your map to your mission.”

7. Introduce the Domino Effect. Gather everyone around a table.

Give every guy 5-10 dominoes. Share that the article said: ‘A single spark starts a wildfire. One drop of water can send a ripple... One small step... can completely change the course of a life.’

Say, “We are going to build a chain. I want you to think of ONE SMALL STEP you need to take. Not ‘Save the World.’ I mean small. Here are some examples:” ▶ Apologize to my mom.

▶ Read a chapter of a good book.

▶ Delete that one app.

▶ Sign up for the gym.

8. Have the teens set up the dominoes in a massive, interconnected pattern. It takes patience. It takes steadiness.

9. Have the quietest, most unassuming guy in the room push the first domino. Watch the chain reaction.

10. Bring out the Wooden Plank/Cardboard. Write “WE RISE” in the middle.

11. Share, “The article ends with a challenge: ‘No more waiting. No more holding back... Light that spark. And rise strong!’

We are done with this series. But we are just starting the mission. If you are ready to stop being a spectator and have a desire to start being a man of incredible purpose, a man who protects, a man who acts—come sign this board.”

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NOTES

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