4
GROW IN CONFIDENCE. KNOW YOUR IDENTITY.
VOLUME
FOR GUYS
DISCOVER DARING PURSUIT PURPOSE 1
CONNECT THE DOTS… Listen. Wisdom speaks. You are called to listen to wisdom in a world full of distractions pulling you in the wrong direction. Let’s be honest—topics like pornography, trauma, sexual violence, and sex trafficking aren’t easy to talk about. Most people would rather avoid them. But the truth is, these issues are everywhere in today’s culture and impact way more lives than you might think. Whether you’ve faced some of these challenges or just want to stay informed and protect yourself, it’s important to know what you’re up against. These next few chapters will also show you how pornography, trauma, and abuse connect to the justice issue of sex trafficking. The goal isn’t to scare you but to equip and empower you. You were made to live free, bold, and confident. By understanding these issues, you’ll protect yourself, help others, and walk in the freedom you were born for.
We believe in you, The Brave & Bold Team
Imagine a place. A place where light exposes darkness So that nothing is hidden. A place where people are invited To dance and embrace what is good and true. Imagine a safe place. A place where vulnerability is welcomed, Safeguarded, and honored. Where voices are heard And genuine love transforms lives. Imagine a resting place. Homes. Where children and youth Freely entrust their hearts to their parents. A safe home, where answers to difficult issues Are discovered together…with no shame. Imagine an honoring place. Where integrity and dignity are embraced. Where hearts are protected and valued. A place where battles to protect relationships are won. Where lives are celebrated, and differences are respected.
Imagine a healing place. A place where no person feels alone, unwanted, or unloved. A place where each understands their immense value. Where lives and broken relationships are restored. Where forgiveness, grace, and compassion abound Imagine a brilliant place. Where individuals, families, Cities and nations experience true transformation. Because of the unity of heart and vision. Because of the commitment to honor Each person’s gifts, talents, and design. Imagine a place. Where no one hides in the darkness, Or in the loneliness of their personal closets. But is welcomed and beckoned forth To partner with others to help change the world.
Nothing happens just because we are aware. But nothing will ever happen until we are
aware. Gary Haugen
Connect the dots... SEXUAL VIOLENCE: There is a strong correlation between sexual violence and being more vulnerable to being sex trafficked. Research has shown that 93% - 98% of sex trafficked victims were previous victims of sexual violence. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention findings state that more than 1 in 3 women and nearly 1 in 4 men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact at some point in their lives. If you have not experienced sexual violence yourself, you may know someone who has been mistreated in this way. You may have wondered how you can help them heal. We are here to empower you.
Welcome! You are closer to the finish line! This final stretch of your pathway brings you to an important destination. Previous chapters have prepared you to now LISTEN to the voices you will hear in this section. Lean in and keep your heart open as you discover newfound knowledge, wisdom, and insights. But first, there are dots that need to be connected between pornography, trauma, sexual violence, and sex trafficking. PORNOGRAPHY: The average age of first exposure to pornography in America is 9-11 years old. We live in a culture where almost all, if not all teen boys have viewed or are addicted to pornography. Teen girls viewing pornography is on the rise and is often considered a normal pastime. Yet, viewing pornography damages relationships, fuels the demand for sex trafficking, and promotes violence against females. We want to empower you to live healthy and victoriously with sexual integrity.
SEX TRAFFICKING: Wait, what?! You might think sex trafficking has nothing to do with you—that it happens to other people, not you. Hopefully, you’re right. But the truth is, recruiters often pretend to be trusted friends. They’ll try to seduce, trick, and manipulate teens into getting trapped. Knowing their tactics can help you stay one step ahead and protect yourself and others.
OVERCOMING TRAUMA: Overcoming trauma is crucial because unhealed wounds can leave you stuck in unhealthy patterns, making it easier for others to manipulate and control you. Having unhealed trauma can lower your defenses and cloud your judgment, leaving you more vulnerable to people who want to take advantage of you—especially in situations like sex trafficking. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but facing your trauma head-on will help you grow stronger, protect yourself, and step into the freedom and confidence you were made for.
HEALING: We hope this section helps you better understand what others might be going through and grow in compassion for their pain and struggles. And if you’ve faced trauma or are struggling with a pornography addiction yourself, know this— you’re not alone. There is hope. Healing is possible. You are strong enough to reach out and get the help and support you deserve from people you can trust. Get ready to pick up solid insights, wisdom, and tools that will help you step up and stand out as the brave and confident person you’re meant to be! With gratitude, The Brave Together Team
“Wisdom is the right use of knowledge.” Charles Spurgeon
7
Brave Together (Classic) - VOL 04 Copyright © 2025 Releasing Generations Published by Releasing Generations Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. All articles, art, and photographs have been published and printed with the permission of their creators. Art Direction and Graphic Design by: Ahava Design, LLC. Photos by Unsplash and Stockphotos.
TheBraveSeries.com Brave Together is a publication created by Releasing Generations, a non-profit organization that empowers people of all ages to thrive with purpose, while knowing their value. We focus on equipping leaders to positively impact young people through events, training, and resources that build emotional and relational wholeness and release creativity and leadership.
CREDITS: 31 Painting by Amy Yu.
Brave Together Volume 04 (Classic) – 6/2025
DA RING PURSUI T
Volume 04
Vol. 01
Vol. 02
Chapter 1: BRAVE, BOLD, BEAUTIFUL – KNOW YOURSELF
The Closet of Your Heart: Out of Hiding, Into Healing
▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
Chapter 1: FORGIVENESS
Chapter 2: STAND FIRM – SECURE AND CONFIDENT
Chapter 2: GRIEF
Discover Purpose
Dig Deeper
▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
Chapter 3: YOUR DESIGN
Chapter 3: UNRAVELING EMOTIONS
▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
Chapter 4: BORN TO CREATE – YOUR CREATIVE FLOW
Chapter 4: PERSEVERANCE
▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
Chapter 5: FREEDOM TO DREAM
Chapter 5: PARENTS AND YOU
▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
Daring Pursuit
Vol. 03
Vol. 04
Chapter 1: ESTABLISHING CHARACTER
Chapter 1: THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF PORNOGRAPHY
Develop Foundation ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
Daring Pursuit
▶ ..... . . . . . . . 16 ▶ .................. . . . . . . 18 ▶ ............ . . . . . . . 20 ▶ . . . . . 23
Chapter 2: VALUES TO LIVE BY
Chapter 2: OVERCOMING TRAUMA
▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
▶ ............................. . . . . . . . 30 ▶ 32 ▶ .................... . . . . . . . 34 ▶ . . . . . . . 36
Chapter 3: GROWING IN LEADERSHIP
Chapter 3: ADDRESSING SEXUAL VIOLENCE
▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
▶ ..................................... . . . . . . . 42 ▶ ................................... . . . . . . . 44 ▶ . . . . 46 ▶ ............ . . . . . . 52
Chapter 4: THE POWER OF WORDS ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
Chapter 5: BUILDING HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS ▶ ▶ ▶ ▶
Chapter 4: SEX TRAFFICKING PREVENTION ▶ ........................... . . . . . . 58 ▶ . . . 60 ▶ ......................... . . . . . . . 62 ▶ ...................... . . . . . . 64 ▶ .................... . . . . . . . 66 ▶ ..................... . . . . . . . 67 ▶ ...... . . . . . . . 68
Chapter 5: RISING STRONG ▶ .................. . . . . . . 80 ▶ ......................... . . . . . . . 84 ▶ ......................................... . . . . . . . 87 ▶ . . . 90
List TheBraveSeries.com 12
ten 13
“I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.” Maya Angelou
Chapter 03
The Negative Effects of Pornography Overcoming Trauma Addressing Sexual Violence Sex Trafficking Prevention Rising Strong
ADDRESSING
Sexual Violence
Sexual violence is often a difficult and uncomfortable topic to discuss. Whether it’s something you’ve personally experienced or something that’s happened to someone you know, it’s important to know what it is and how to help yourself and others.
When you understand what sexual violence is, you can better protect yourself and be a safe person for others who might be struggling. This chapter will also explain how to start the healing process if you or someone you know has experienced it. You will hear vulnerable stories from survivors who have a passion for empowering youth through their painful yet hope-filled stories. Freedom and healing are possible!
Sexual violence happens when someone crosses physical or emotional boundaries without consent, leaving the survivor with deep wounds and usually with feelings of shame, fear, or confusion. Such trauma can affect a person’s mind, emotions, relationships, and how they see themself.
41
STAY SAFE: PROTECT YOURSELF FROM SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND EXPLOITATION by Phyllis Unebasami
As a mother of grown children, I often wish I had shared this information with them while they were teenagers, so they knew they were worthy of dignity and could confidently advocate for themselves in tough situations. You deserve to be treated with dignity and feel confident in making safe choices, especially during challenging moments. Sexual violence and exploitation are serious issues, and it’s important for everyone, regardless of gender, to understand how to protect themselves and support others. These topics are crucial for making healthy decisions and staying safe. In this article, we'll explore information about sexual violence, exploitation, and how you can set healthy boundaries for yourself. We will also provide resources that can offer support if you or a friend ever finds themselves in difficult situations. It's about empowering you to feel confident, respected, and safe. You deserve to feel strong and secure in who you are, and I’m here to help guide you through that. Sexual violence refers to any sexual activity that happens without consent, meaning it’s forced, coerced, or manipulated. This includes actions like rape, sexual assault, harassment including verbal or physical sexual taunting or comments, and unwanted physical touching. Verbal and physical sexual taunting make someone feel uncomfortable and disrespected. Verbal taunting includes making inappropriate comments about someone’s body or sexuality, making suggestive jokes, or asking personal questions about their sex life. Physical taunting involves unwanted touches, like pinching, grabbing, or making sexual gestures. These actions are never okay and are considered harassment. Sexual exploitation is when someone takes advantage of you for their
own sexual or financial gain. This could be online grooming, where someone builds trust with you to manipulate you, or sextortion, which is when someone pressures or blackmails you into sending explicit photos or videos.
WARNING SIGNS Beyond this article’s topic, consent extends universally to all aspects of life, including friendships, work, and personal interactions. It means saying “yes” because you truly want to, not because you feel pressured or obligated. Consent should always be clear, enthusiastic, and ongoing. Just because someone says “yes” once doesn’t mean it’s automatically “yes” again. It’s important to check in and make sure everyone is still comfortable at every step. Grooming and coercion often go hand-in-hand, and it’s important to understand how they work together. Grooming is when someone gradually builds trust with you, often by giving you gifts, compliments, or attention to make you feel special or important. This can happen both online and in person, and might feel flattering at first. However, as trust is built, they might start pressuring you to keep secrets or share private information, pushing boundaries little by little. Coercion is when that trust and manipulation turn into pressure to do something you don’t want to do. This can include threats, guilt, or emotional manipulation, like saying, “If you really cared about me, you’d do this,” or “You’ll regret it if you don’t.” The person might make you feel like you have no choice but to agree, but that’s not love or respect. Both grooming and coercion are forms of manipulation, and they’re never okay. Always trust your instincts and speak up if something feels off. Romantic relationships can sometimes bring about a lot of pressure, whether it’s pressure to go further physically or pressure to do things
42
you’re not comfortable with. Peer pressure can come from your friends, a romantic partner, or even social media, and it can feel like there’s no way out of saying yes. • Romantic Ultimatums are often used to manipulate or control someone in a relationship. For example, your partner might say things like, “If you really loved me, you’d do this” or “If you don’t do this, we’re done.” These statements can put you in a position where you feel like you have no choice but to give in. This is NOT love, it’s manipulation. • Power Imbalance: In any relationship, both people should be equals. If one person is making all the decisions or controlling the other person’s behavior, it’s an unhealthy relationship. The power balance should be equal, where both people can express themselves freely without fear of guilt, manipulation, or pressure.
PROTECTIVE FACTORS TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFE Your boundaries are like your personal “no-go zones.” They’re the limits you set for yourself in relationships, whether physical, emotional, or digital. Knowing your boundaries means you’ll be more prepared to recognize when something isn’t right. If someone crosses a boundary, whether it’s touching you without permission or saying something inappropriate, speak up. Don’t be afraid to set limits, and know that it’s always okay to walk away from a situation that feels wrong. Healthy boundaries are about respect. You have the right to say no at any time, and it’s important that others respect your personal space, both physically and emotionally. Communication is key: let others know what’s acceptable and what’s not.
ONLINE SAFETY: PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM DIGITAL EXPLOITATION Because many of you are technologically savvy and connected, the internet is a place to communicate, but it can also be a place where predators lurk. Be mindful about what you share online. Personal details, locations, and photos can be misused. Always adjust your privacy settings and avoid oversharing. Sextortion is when someone pressures you to send explicit photos or videos, often using threats to manipulate you. Grooming is when someone builds a relationship with you, online or offline, with the intention of exploiting you later. If someone asks you for intimate photos or makes you feel uncomfortable, BLOCK THEM immediately and REPORT THEM to a trusted adult, the platform you’re using, or organizations like CyberTipline (1-800-843-5678) or local authorities. Remember: sending intimate photos is a big decision that can have lasting consequences. If someone asks you for photos or videos, say no. If they pressure you, block them, report them, and talk to a trusted adult.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU OR A FRIEND IS A VICTIM If you or a friend is experiencing sexual violence or exploitation, seek help. You can talk to a trusted adult like a parent, teacher, or school counselor. If you're unsure who to turn to, there are confidential helplines available that can offer guidance and support. One such resource is the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network). You can reach them by calling 1-800-656HOPE (4673) or visiting their online chat service at rainn.org. This service is free, confidential, and available 24/7. If you witness someone being manipulated or harmed, don't ignore it. If it's safe, step in to offer support or reach out to a trusted adult for help. We all have a responsibility to look out for each other. I’m proud of my daughter
for stepping up when she saw a friend in need. While I was concerned for her safety, I also knew that if she were ever victimized, I would want a friend like her by her side in her time of need.
CREATING A CULTURE OF RESPECT Respect in friendships, romantic relationships, and interactions with others is key. It’s about treating each other with dignity, acknowledging boundaries, and supporting each other in healthy ways. Let’s make it nonnegotiable and insist that everyone is treated with kindness and respect. Knowing your boundaries, recognizing red flags, and understanding consent are all critical to staying safe. Remember: you have the power to set limits and make decisions that protect your well-being and the well-being of those around you. No one should ever pressure or force you into something that feels wrong. Let people know when something makes you uncomfortable. It’s your right to say no and to expect that others respect your decisions.
RULES OF THUMB TO STAY SAFE AND BE CAUTIOUS • If you wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing it with your family, it might be a sign to step back. While you might not tell your family everything, think about how they would react to a situation or conversation; it might give you a clue that it’s time to reconsider what’s going on. • Trust your gut feelings. If something feels off, it probably is. Never ignore that nagging feeling that tells you something isn’t right. You don’t have to know all the details to know when to walk away or ask for help. • If someone is pressuring you, it’s a red flag. Real love or friendship doesn’t involve pressuring you into doing things you’re not ready for or don’t want to do. If they’re giving you ultimatums or trying to manipulate you into something, that’s a huge sign to back off.
43
RESOURCES AND SUPPORT If you ever need help, there are many organizations dedicated to helping people who have experienced sexual violence and exploitation, or need information. These organizations provide resources, support, and counseling for you. National and Global Organizations: • RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): The largest antisexual violence organization in the U.S. provides support and resources for survivors. rainn.org • National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC): Provides information, resources, and training to prevent and respond to sexual violence. nsvrc.org • Childhelp: A national organization focused on preventing and treating child abuse, including sexual exploitation. Childhelp.org Remember, you deserve to be respected, and you have the power to protect yourself and others. Stay informed, set your boundaries, and always speak up when something doesn’t feel right. Stay safe because you matter.
CONSENT: WHAT IT IS, WHY IT MATTERS, AND HOW TO SPEAK UP
Respect must also be given for a change of mind. Consent can be taken back at any time. If someone says “yes” at first but later feels unsure or uncomfortable, they have every right to say “stop.” And that needs to be respected immediately. • “Thanks for telling me. We can totally stop.” • “No problem—your comfort matters more than anything.” • “I’m really glad you said something. I want to respect your boundaries.”
by Michele Okimura
Let’s talk about something that affects everyone—consent. Maybe you’ve heard the word in health class or online, but what does it actually mean? Why is it such a big deal? Here’s the short version: Consent means giving permission for something to happen, and meaning it. It has to be freely given, clearly communicated, and respected every single time.
These examples show that consent is ongoing, respectful, and open to change. It’s not just about asking once—it’s about continuing to check in, listen, and care. No Means No. But sometimes, a person doesn’t—or can’t—say “no” out loud due to fear or anxiety. That might look like freezing up or going silent. It could also look like avoiding eye contact and looking scared or uncomfortable. A person might also try to pull away. If it’s not a clear “yes,” it’s a no. Consent doesn’t count and is not real if someone is pressured, manipulated, threatened, drunk or high, asleep, or unconscious. Consent is also not valid if the person being pressured is underage (the legal age of consent varies by state). It is also inappropriate and out of bounds for a teacher, coach, pastor, boss, or youth leader to have a romantic relationship with a youth in their care. In the previous article, sexual violence was defined as any kind of unwanted sexual behavior—touching, comments, pictures, or pressure—that someone forces on you or does without your full, willing consent. In the U.S., the legal age to agree to sexual activity depends on the state. It’s usually between 16 and 18 years old. These laws are there to protect young people from being taken advantage of and to make sure they’re mature enough to make that kind of decision. It matters if someone crosses your boundaries in any way that feels wrong, scary, or uncomfortable. And it is not your fault. Ever. To review, sexual violence can be done by strangers, friends, family members, dating partners, and by people in authority, such as coaches, teachers, or leaders. No matter who is involved or how long it’s been going on, you are allowed to say something, and you deserve to be protected.
CONSENT IS MORE THAN JUST A “YES.” LET’S BREAK IT DOWN: Consent means someone agrees to something on purpose, with a clear head, no pressure, and total freedom to say “yes” or “no.” Consent is extremely important when it comes to relationships and sex. However, it shows up in lots of everyday ways too. For example, you need to give your consent if someone wants to borrow your hoodie. It is important to ask for consent to post a picture of someone, use someone’s phone, or go through someone’s belongings. When it comes to sexual or intimate physical contact, consent becomes even more important—and the boundaries are even more serious.
HOW TO SPEAK UP AND GET HELP If someone has touched you in a way that felt wrong, pressured you into anything intimate, or violated your consent in any way, please know you are not alone. There is help. And you are so brave for speaking up! You can ask for help from a trusted adult, your school counselor, or school nurse by saying something like, “I need to talk about something that happened and I don’t know what to do.” There are also community resources, such as sexual assault centers or hotlines, which provide free, confidential help 24/7, all the time, anytime. Try searching on the internet for a local “teen crisis center” or “youth advocacy services.”
IN RELATIONSHIPS, CONSENT CAN SOUND LIKE: • “Do you feel comfortable if I hold your hand?” • “Is this okay with you?” and “Is this still okay with you?” • “Do you want to keep going or stop?” • “It’s totally fine to say no.” • “Let’s wait until we’re both comfortable.” • “We can take our time—no pressure at all.” • “If you’re not sure, let’s pause.”
44
You are the gatekeeper of your life. Consent is the gate in your fence that helps to guard what is valuable. You decide who’s safe enough to let in. Love doesn't demand access, but instead respects and honors boundaries.
FINAL THOUGHTS
You deserve safety and respect. Whether it’s your body, your space, your stuff, or your feelings, you are allowed to set boundaries. You don’t owe anyone access to your body just because they like you, because they’re older, or because they’re in a position of power.
Consent isn’t just a one-time conversation—it’s a lifelong skill. It’s how we treat people with care, protect ourselves, and build healthy relationships. It’s about knowing your value, using your voice, and looking out for others, too. Ask questions and speak up. Trust your gut. And remember: You are worth protecting. Your voice matters. And you’re never alone.
Real respect always honors your “no.” Real love waits for your “yes.” Real friends ask, listen, and don’t cross your boundaries.
45