FAITH VERSION: PARENT & LEADER GUIDE

GROW IN CONFIDENCE. KNOW YOUR IDENTITY.

PARENT & LEADER GUIDE

FOR GIRLS OF FAITH

Join the Journey

A Special Edition 4-Volume Magazine with wisdom and encouragement for teen girls to:

• Bolster self-value and confidence • Promote positive self-image and strength • Grow up aware and equipped to protect themselves and others

• Honor their personal power to be both brave and beautiful

WELCOME TO THE PARENT & LEADER GUIDE AUTHORS/EDUCATORS: Cathy Lynne Fong, Erin Chinen, Loraine Hotoke, and Michele Okimura.

WELCOME TO THE BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY! Thank you so much for making the time to invest in your teen and in your

relationship with her! We believe that you will find this to be a transformational experience for you both, as the articles will be relevant to your personal growth as well. We believe you both will grow together.

If you are going through this Journey with a small group of participants, we believe you are in for a deeply meaningful time together as well!

A team of educators collaborated to put together discussion questions and optional activities for each chapter for you to use as a springboard in your times of meeting together as you go over each chapter. Please know that the discussion questions are optional, and you can pick and choose which questions you would like to use, as well as create your own questions. God may inspire you with wonderful spontaneous questions as the discussion flows.

The activities provided for each chapter are also optional. As a parent or leader, we encourage you to be creative and do other activities as you are inspired by the Lord, as time permits! The lessons are typically geared for small groups, so please adjust the activity if you are doing a 1:1 mentorship as a parent, teacher, or leader. We welcome you to dive in and enjoy the journey yourself as a parent or leader. We pray you will experience God yourself and that this will be transformational experience for all involved.

IMPORTANT NOTES TO CONSIDER BEFORE YOU BEGIN: •

Be positive, affirming, and encouraging to your teen whenever possible!

Be mindful to NOT dominate the conversation. Make it a point to listen more than you talk.

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING REMINDERS TO HELP ENSURE A SUCCESSFUL EXPERIENCE FOR BOTH YOU AND YOUR TEEN GIRL(S)!

•

Express gratitude when your teen shares a good point.

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS GUIDE?

•

Make the discussion times as enjoyable, loving, and meaningful as possible so you both look forward to your times together.

The purpose of this guide is to give you helpful ideas for meaningful discussions on the vital topics covered in Brave & Beautiful.

•

Thank her when she took a risk and shared vulnerably with you.

•

Remember, the discussions can be serious at times, and you may have moments of sharing tears together, but remember that laughing together also grows the bond between you and your teen!

The discussion time after each chapter can strengthen your emotional connection with your teen, heart to heart. Part of your responsibility as a parent or spiritual parent, is to mentor your teen daughter. This gives you a powerful tool to do just that!

•

A

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

We also provided optional activities you can do in small groups.

Verbally processing the content with someone as mature as you will help teen girls to digest the material and have a deeper learning experience. Going through the material with someone also ensures they will complete the Brave & Beautiful Journey through Volume 4. Volume 4 has vital information that could literally save their life!

WHO SHOULD GO THROUGH THIS WITH A TEEN GIRL?

Because Brave & Beautiful is for teen girls and the articles are coming from mostly female perspectives covering common female issues, it is more natural and comfortable for a mom or spiritual mom to go through this with teen girls. However, we do understand that in some cases, a father may want to go through this with their teen, which is also fine. *Going through this with a small group of teen girls can also add beneficial and enriching perspectives to the discussions.

IMPORTANT: THIS IS NOT A TIME TO GIVE ‘LECTURES’ OR GIVE ADVICE (UNLESS THE TEEN GIRL ASKS FOR ADVICE).

We hope and pray that going through Brave & Beautiful together with your teen or group of teens will be a positive, enjoyable experience for everyone!

As a parent or mentor, you want to create a safe place where your teen girl feels comfortable to open up and freely share her thoughts and feelings.

•

This is not a time where your teen passively listens to your advice or teachings.

•

This is not a time to quickly ‘correct’ your teen’s line of thinking.

•

This is not a time to try to force your teen to agree with your perspectives.

•

Seek to understand you teen first before seeking to be understood.

However, in the discussions, there will be opportunities to pass along your wisdom naturally as you share your thoughts and life experiences.

This is a time to really listen to your teen and seek to understand her. If your teen feels that you really care about what she has to say, she will appreciate being heard. If you listen to her without negatively judging her, she will want to share things with you—which is what you want!

WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOUR TEEN SHARES SOMETHING SHOCKING, DISTURBING, OR UPSETTING TO YOU?

Because the topics and discussion questions encourage vulnerability, your teen may very well muster the courage within herself to share something that may shock, disturb, or upset you. Prepare yourself now, so if this happens, you are ready to respond with love, compassion, and grace using self-control, and NOT react in anger or shock. If you do react in anger or shock, this will most probably cause your teen girl to never want to open up to you again—she may decide that you are not a safe person to confide her secrets to.

Put yourself in her shoes. If you confessed something very private to someone when you were a teen, how would you want them to respond?

As a parent or mentor, it can be SO easy to react in anger or shock when your teen shares something upsetting. The tendency can be to want to control the situation and your teen! You can be real and raw in your thoughts and feelings with God privately, with your spouse, or trusted friend at a later time, but NOT with your teen if you want to keep that emotional connection strong. Try your best with God's help!

Refer to the article following this introduction entitled, Empathetic Responses That Promote Connection. Respond with kindness, gentleness, love, and empathy—not judgment. Pray silently and ask the Lord to give you the strength to keep a straight face and listen. Know that it took courage for your teen to share what she did.

You can affirm your teen girl and thank her for sharing her heart with you. Take this opportunity to love on her and communicate that you want to always be there for her.

BECAUSE YOU WILL BE SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS AND LIFE EXPERIENCES IN THE DISCUSSIONS, HOW VULNERABLE SHOULD YOU BE WITH YOUR TEEN?

Part of creating a heart connection with your teen involves you sharing some of your life experiences with her. You will create an atmosphere of vulnerability when you share about the struggles you went through, your failures, and what you learned from them as it relates to the subject being discussed.

It is so valuable for your teen to learn more about your story!

Ask the Lord for direction on what things you can share with your teen as you prepare for the discussion. Letting your teen know that you are not perfect, that you made wrong choices

B

and have experienced pain in your life will build that heart connection. They may particularly appreciate stories about your teen years.

issue, since Focus on the Family discovered that the average age of first exposure is 8 years old. You know your child best and can decide.

WHAT IS A RECOMMENDED READING PLAN?

CAN A YOUNG ADULT WOMAN OR OLDER WOMAN BENEFIT FROM GOING THROUGH THIS BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY?

There are 25 short chapters, so we recommend reading one chapter per week in chronological order. The chapters are short (4-8 pages) and can easily be read in a short amount of time.

The discussion time can be anywhere from around 20 minutes or more, depending on how a particular topic impacts your teen and your time available. If the conversation seems to be going longer than usual and you need to end it due to your schedule, you can always continue the conversation at a later time.

Sometimes the best conversations happen while in the car together or at random times when hearts are open. Be led of the Lord as He leads conversations at unexpected times. *NOTE: If your teen is going through a particular struggle in the present, you can opt to skip ahead to a later chapter that addresses what she is currently going through. For example, if a close relative of your teen passed away, you could decide to skip ahead and go through the chapter SHE CRIES on grieving.

Like a magazine, you can skip ahead to what is most relevant, then return back to the order we have laid out for the journey.

Although the chapters are ordered to build upon each other, feel free to skip around to chapters that are most relevant and will best serve your teen girl(s).

THIS PUBLICATION IS FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL AND HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS. CAN A YOUNGER GIRL GO THROUGH THIS?

Because the first three volumes focus on growing a girl’s confidence and knowing her identity, you could easily go over Volumes 1-3 with younger girls using your judgment. The older a girl is, the more mature she is and the more she will have deeper grasp on the lessons. However, the articles do support younger girls!

Volume 4 covers the heavier subjects of sex abuse, sex trafficking and pornography, which may not be as age appropriate for younger girls (you may decide to pick and choose articles from Volume 4). However, as a parent or mentor, you can use your judgement since you want younger girls to be aware of online predators and the pornography

C

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Although the target group for this publication is middle school and high school teen girls, we understand that many women of all ages struggle with fully embracing their identity in Christ and believing that they are brave and beautiful. We have found that many women (women in their 20’s through 60s) who have journeyed through this publication have been deeply touched, healed, and impacted by the heart of our Good Father that is expressed through the pages of this Journey. We know God can speak to girls and women of all ages through this publication and that valuable information about sex-trafficking and many topics covered can also be gleaned and passed on to young people through the women who have gone through this Brave & Beautiful experience!

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM ASKING TO READ YOUR TEEN GIRL’S PRIVATE THOUGHTS THAT SHE SHARED ON HER INTERACTIVE PAGES.

We strongly urge parents and mentors to please honor their teen’s privacy regarding the interactive pages that she filled out—unless she willingly wants to share her writings or art with you. We want every teen girl to be honest and vulnerable in her reflections and journaling. Knowing that others will be reading her private journaling without permission would greatly hinder the effectiveness of her experience.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL SHOULD BE KEPT AND REFERRED TO EVEN IN YOUNG ADULT YEARS!

We wanted our teen readers to feel honored and blessed by the quality and excellence of this publication. We envision that they will keep Brave & Beautiful for decades to come as a tool and reference guide. Sex trafficking also happens during young adult years and in colleges. We pray this will be a resource the readers will refer to again and again.

A RIGHT OF PASSAGE EVENT FOR YOUR TEEN GIRL WHO TO INVITE?

You could invite a few or many women who are especially close to your teen daughter. They could be family members, spiritual mothers, or mentors. You can choose to involve your teen daughter in deciding who to invite to this event. This will be a powerful time of women affirming and loving on your teen daughter, welcoming her into the season of becoming a young woman!

PREPARATION

Ahead of time, ask the women invited to write a one-page (or so) letter to your teen daughter, expressing their love and sharing their wisdom as she enters a new season of her life.

They can include a prayer and their hopes for her. Inform them that they will be reading their letter to her as part of the program at the event. Their letters will later be put into an album for your teen daughter to keep forever.

We have added this additional activity that can be so meaningful for your daughter or spiritual daughter. We wanted to mention this idea to you now so you can be envisioning the possibilities as you feel led—be creative! This celebration event can help her to grow in confidence, know her value, and embrace her true identity! Be innovative and simply use this activity as a springboard to tailor it to how you want to bless your daughter.

Here are a few milestone ages that this activity can be applied to: • In the Jewish culture, when a boy or girl turns 12 or 13, a Bar Mitzvah celebration takes place as a coming-of-age ceremony into adulthood.

• A girl’s Sweet 16 Debutante Birthday party can also be considered a coming-of-age ceremony in America.

• When a girl graduates high school, this can also be a year to celebrate with this activity, since she will be moving onto college, higher education, trade school, or the workforce.

Ask the invited guests to bring a gift that has a symbolic meaning which expresses what they appreciate about your teen daughter, how they believe God sees her, or how they see her. They are to attach a positive meaning to the item they gift to her, which they will share at the event. Encourage them to be creative!

Plan the details of the party using your creativity to make it special and memorable!

AT THE CELEBRATION

Sometime during the event, have a time where each of the invited guests present their letter and gift to your teen daughter. Each woman is to read their letter, give their wrapped gift to her, (have your teen daughter open the gift) and explain the meaning behind the gift they gave.

It is always special to have a time of prayer for the guest of honor to seal the formal time!

It is also special to take photos during the event including a final group shot.

AFTER THE CELEBRATION

Collect the letters written to your daughter. You could simply place them into an album along with any photos from the event, or you can make this into a scrapbooking project. This could be a craft project you do, your daughter does, or your do together.

D

EMPATHETIC RESPONSES THAT PROMOTE CONNECTION

It is not always easy to know what to say when someone tells you something very personal. There is power in words.

Careless words keep people isolated and silent for years.

Supportive words bring healing, restoration, and courage to talk about their burden or their experiences. Here are some tips on what to say vs what not to say when someone shares vulnerably.

WHAT TO SAY:

After someone shares something vulnerable, it can be hurtful to not say anything, quickly change the subject, or make a joke/comment to lighten to mood.

• This must be so tough for you.

When appropriate, a hand on shoulder, a hand squeeze or a hug also can communicate comfort and empathy.

• Sounds like you are feeling really (angry, sad, excited, shocked etc.) by what happened.

• I don’t’ know exactly what to say right now except that I’m here for you.

• I’m so sorry that happened to you.

• You are very brave and courageous to talk about what happened.

• It took a lot of courage to talk about this, and I’m proud of you.

*Do not start immediately sharing your experience that is similar. This time is not about you. It is about listening to them heart to heart. Giving advice and encouraging words comes later after they feel validated and heard, and you sense they are ready for that. Vulnerability + Empathy = Breaks Shame

• I am here to help you through your sadness.

WHAT NOT TO SAY

• I am so glad you are sharing this with me.

• • • • • • • • • • • •

E

You just need to let go and move on.

Other people have it worse than you.

You’re making too much of a big deal of this.

You just need to trust God and pray harder.

Are you just trying to get attention?

I can’t believe this really happened.

Tell me every detail and don’t leave anything out.

How come you just can’t forgive?

You are sinning if you just can’t forgive and forget!

Did you enjoy it? (referring to abuse) What are you going to do about it now?

At least… (minimizing issue)

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

• We will walk through this together.

• I care about you. I am here to listen and help you in any way.

• You are not alone.

• I believe in you!

• I’m so sorry that awful thing happened to you. You didn’t deserve this (abuse, hurtful situation) • You are not to blame. This is not your fault. (if they were a victim of abuse) • Healing is possible. You can be whole again.

• Forgiveness for such a deep hurt is a process and will happen over time.

• What I hear you saying is… (reflect back what they said/ reflect back what you sense they are feeling.)

GROW IN CONFIDENCE. KNOW YOUR IDENTITY.

1

urney

FOR GIRLS OF FAITH

1

The leaves on the covers of our Brave & Beautiful Series represent the leaves from the tree of life that are for the healing of the nations. We pray this Brave & Beautiful Journey will bring healing and life to you as well as to the nations of the world.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL Copyright © 2022 Releasing Generations Published by Releasing Generations Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

All articles, art, and photographs have been published and printed with the permission of their creators.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations from The Authorized (King James) Version. Rights in the Authorized Version in the United Kingdom are vested in the Crown. Reproduced by permission of the Crown’s patentee, Cambridge University Press.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version®.

Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the Holy Scriptures, Tree of Life Version*. Copyright © 2014,2016 by the Tree of Life Bible Society.

Used by permission of the Tree of Life Bible Society.

Art Direction and Graphic Design: Ahava Design, LLC. Photos by Unsplash and Pixabay.

BRAVEANDBEAUTIFUL.WORLD Brave & Beautiful is a publication created by Explicit Movement, a Christian faith-based movement that heals and empowers youth and young adults to walk in sexual integrity and healthy relationships as they embrace their God-given identity and God's beautiful design for sex. We provide faith-based resources that equip youth, young adults, parents, and church leaders to have conversations concerning healthy dating and navigating sexuality issues with confidence, leading the way for young people to thrive in relationships.

CREDITS COVER Floral pattern: Maria Galybina. 4-5 Photography by Luminous: Emily Ganiko and Unsplash. 10 Louisa Wendorff/Austin Lord Photography 12-14 “Brave.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, /brave. Accessed 17 Apr. 2021. “Beautiful.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, /beautiful. Accessed 17 Apr. 2021.

Dear Readers,

It is a fact that girls who believe they are important and have value, who are confident in their identity in Christ, who have a strong sense of hope, and who have goals for a positive future…are less vulnerable to falling victim to damaging and even dangerous situations. Having such positive attributes will help keep you from falling into the wrong hands, keep you from becoming a victim of sexual violence, and becoming a victim of predators.

Therefore, the reason for this publication is to build and lift you up to thrive! Knowing your identity will help you walk out your God-given purpose! May each page impart encouragement, wisdom, hope, and practical tools for you to be emotionally healthy.

You have a unique story. You have a unique design to who you are. We want to celebrate YOU during this time despite where your journey has taken you up to this point.

God cares about your joys, your pain and suffering, your loneliness, your heartbreak, your loving moments, and your victories. Your Master Craftsman and Miracle Worker - your Heavenly Father desires to weave it all together into something brave and beautiful that can change the world. This is what He does.

SO! Jump in and be fascinated by your discoveries!

Blessings to you!

Michele Okimura, Executive Director Explicit Movement

Brave & Beautiful.

Take a moment to ask

What is my name?

What am I known for?

Am I hidden in shame?

Confident or Much Afraid.

Lonely or Sad. Sunshine or Nervous.

Rejected or Mad? God changes your name.

He makes you brand new.

Renewing your heart To be perfectly you.

It’s time to ARISE! Beloved One, now.

Finding your sparkle, He will show you how.

New visions of life, You are created to see.

Born Brave and Beautiful!

You are destined to be.

REAL TRUTH.

REAL LOVE.

••

Bave  Beauful Jurney

Sh

eR e l e ases ••

Sh eB

e li e ev

s

c o v

e r s •• She Accepts ••

i D ifu l •• S h e

eE •• x p re s s e s

ut

s

6

••

Journey 01

e

&

a e B

Sh

B ra ve

Journey 02

10

SHE IS BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

8

SHE RELEASES

16

SHE DISCOVERS

20

SHE TRUSTS

30 SHE ACCEPTS

28

SHE CRIES

40 SHE BELIEVES

40

SHE BLOOMS

58 SHE EXPRESSES

50

SHE PERSEVERES

70 SHE CONNECTS

58

SHE PROTECTS

84 SHE RESTS

68

SHE SPARKLES

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

re

••

She s

Sh

e

s

Sh

e

Co

nne

cts •• She Re sts

he Celeb •• She Sparkles •• S ra te

C

he s •• S

••

Sh

eP

Pro

t e c ts

A

es

Journey 03

Journey 04 Listen

8

10

PORNOGRAPHY

20 SHE LOVES

16

SEXUAL ABUSE & TRAUMA

30 SHE GIVES

32

SEX TRAFFICKING

40 SHE DREAMS

50

VOICES OF FREEDOM

48 SHE CREATES

58

HOPE RISING

SHE CELEBRATES

e

r e a te

She Bloom •• s

ri s

Sh

es

eC ri

e m s •• S h

Sh

D re a

s

ves •• She Give o L e s • Sh • ••

She Lstens!

56 SHE ARISES 7

er

ve se

We are Explicit Movement.

We know that youth and young adults around the world are hurting with insecurities about their identity and are often confused when it comes to the topic of sex and how to have healthy relationships. The struggle is intensified by distorted views of sexuality and relationships promoted by the media, school curriculum, pornography, and the entertainment industry that reject God’s design for sex to be a beautiful and amazing gift reserved for marriage between one woman and one man.

Explicit is a movement that heals and empowers youth and young adults to walk in sexual integrity as they embrace their God-given identity. We engage in real and relevant conversations to prepare young people for healthy relationships in God’s timing and design.

We provide faith-based resources that honestly explore and equip teens, young adults, parents, and church leaders on topics concerning healthy dating and navigating sexuality issues.

We care deeply about the issue of sex trafficking and want to empower youth with the awareness, knowledge, and practical tools to protect themselves.

OUR APPROACH

Join the Movement!

Together we can

We seek to • Help establish people’s identity in Christ and their relationship with God. • Heal hearts from hurts and shame with God’s power, love, grace, and truth.

• Equip people with tools to protect their sexual integrity and to

visit us at ExplicitMovement.org

live out healthy relationships.

Our leadership team has decades of combined experience

working with and supporting teens, young adults, parents, and

church leaders within many denominations...and over the past

several years has witnessed the transformation of thousands of young people in Hawaii and across the world.

You are not alone in your struggles.

8

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

VOLUME 01 – PART 1

Embrace who you really are!

She is Brave & Beautiful She Discovers She Accepts She Believes

What is of utmost importance is to know and embrace your

Welcome to the first section of this Brave and Beautiful Journey.

identity in Christ. You must not define your worth and value

This section will lay a solid foundation for you to build on. There

by what others say or even what you say about yourself. Your

are incredible things to discover about yourself that may even

foundation must be built on who God says you are.

surprise you! You will learn to accept yourself as a uniquely designed individual that was never meant to be compared to

It is from that place of identity that your values are formed and

anyone. You are a standalone masterpiece. You were designed

from where decisions and choices are made.

to reflect specific facets of God that have never been revealed

For example, if a girl believes she has little or no value, is not

in history and will never shine upon this earth again.

good enough and is unlovable, then you can imagine what

The challenge for you will be to not just know what God says

kinds of choices she will make in life and the dangerous traps

about you, but to believe it. This section was created just for you

she can fall into. She has the potential to become vulnerable

to help truth to make its journey from your head to your heart.

and fall prey to predators. These people commonly disguise themselves as loving and caring but are filled with malicious

Enjoy your trek on this pathway of discovery and don’t forget

and selfish intentions.

to smell the roses along the way! If you open your heart, you will never be the same as you encounter the God of miracles

On the other hand, if a girl believes that she has incredible,

who has a passion for you and pursues you even now. Some

infinite value—not with a prideful heart, but with a healthy

of His most profound miracles are the miracles of the heart!

self-love—then she is in position to fulfill God’s divine call and destiny for her life with strength, love, and confidence. She

This entire Journey was His idea from the start. His gift to you.

will make a difference in this world by touching and impacting lives for good along the way.

Will you begin this journey with child-like curiosity and wonder?

Ready. Set. Dive in beloved!

9

Brave Beauti s i e sh

10

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Be brave and courageous.

Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”

PSALM 27:14 NLT

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E IS B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L

“Wait patiently for the Lord.

& e

JOU RN EY 01 • CHAPTER 01

tiful.

Brave brave

adjective. \ brāv \ braver; bravest

1.

having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty : having or showing courage

2. making a fine show : COLORFUL brave banners flying in the wind 3. EXCELLENT, SPLENDID

“Living a brave life is not easy. We trip, stumble and fall. It is the rise from the falling that makes us brave.” BRENÉ BROWN

How is Being Brave Like a Volcano?

H

ot lava seeps up from deep within the earth. In a similar way, the courage of God erupts from deep inside, from God’s Spirit within you! As God sets your heart ablaze for things of His Kingdom, passion and courage becomes a stronger force that begins to melt away fear and intimidation because you know God is for you and with you.

Red is often associated with war, strength, power, determination, passion and love.

The vibrant colors of red, orange and yellow combine in a dance of fire over your heart that heaven notices.

Yellow can stand for freshness, positivity, clarity, honor, and loyalty.

12

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Orange combines the energy of red and the joy of yellow and is known to represent enthusiasm, fascination, creativity, encouragement and success.

“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them.

For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

DEUTERONOMY 31:6 NLT

Painting by Francis Oda

These attributes can describe the facets of bravery God is calling you to have to fulfill your God-given purpose.

God urges you over 100 times in the Bible to be brave, be courageous, and to fear not!

Lava also flows and creates new land, new ground. In a similar way, God is calling you to not only reclaim ground that was stolen, but also to make new ground and enlarge your territory and influence!

You are His Brave-Heart!

13

Beautiful beautiful adjective. beau·​ti·​ful | \ byü-ti-fəl \

1. having qualities of beauty : exciting aesthetic pleasure 2. generally pleasing : EXCELLENT “You are beautiful, my darling, beautiful beyond words...”

SONG OF SOLOMON 4:1 NLT

Know you are a beautiful bloom in the Kingdom of God!

14

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

How is Being Beautiful Like a Field of Flowers?

U

niversally, flowers are considered beautiful and are used to decorate and adorn people and places. There are literally thousands of various kinds of flowers in this world.

Flowers come in almost every color imaginable: shades of white, red, blue, yellow, pink, purple, green, and

orange! The shapes, sizes, and designs of flowers around the world seem limitless—yet they are all beautiful in their own unique way, just like God’s Beloved Daughters!

What is your favorite flower? Tulips?

Roses? Lilies? Sunflowers? You, beautiful you, are also unique in design and color, gracing the planet with your very being.

Many flowers release a sweet fragrance!

May your life release a sweet, pleasant,

"God gave us eyes to see the beauty in nature and hearts to see the beauty in each other."

refreshing, aroma of Jesus wherever you go!

“

For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved…”

II COR 2:15 NKJV

One bloom is beautiful, but the scene of a field of many colorful flowers blooming together creates a breathtaking feast for the eyes!

Bold and delicate, vibrant and pastel, all swaying in the breeze on a moonlit night.

ANONYMOUS

Lastly, God thinks a field of flowers is more beautiful than the most elegant of royal attire:

“

Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.”

LUKE 12:27 NIV

Painting by Danielle Iranon

15

She Disco

16

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E D ISCOVERS

Life is about discovering

your design and who God

says you are.

JOU RN EY 01 • CHAPTER 02

17

overs.

look at you girl!

The world is waiting...

E

ver wonder why God created you?

What is your purpose?

How do you discover your own unique path God has created for you?

Yikes! Those distracting confusing voices can get us off track! There can be SO many voices screaming at us constantly about who we SHOULD be or what we SHOULD be doing!

Pressures and expectations to be this or that can come from others or even ourselves!

Maybe you are known as

Let’s pull back the drapes. What is hiding behind the curtains when those labels and roles are stripped off? There is so much more to you than labels— labels are so limiting! There is so much untapped potential within you waiting to be discovered and explode forth!

What do you base your worth on?

The Truth: Your worth does not come from the kind of clothes you wear, how many friends you have, how talented you are in something, or even how high your grades are in school. It’s not even based on your ‘performance,’ though the world may speak this. Though

*the smart one *the serious one *the funny one *the creative

one *the shy one *the crazy one *the stable one *the sporty

one *the artistic one *the expressive one *the laid back one, or

tempting, be careful to not base your value on how many followers or likes you have on social media.

God places immense value upon you and gives you a purpose far greater and wider than you could ever dream of.

You are on a journey of discovering the complex and brilliant facets of you and the hidden gems God placed within you!

You, glorious daughter, you! The world is waiting!

“For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.”

ROMANS 8:19 NIV

*the bossy one.

she is self-aware.

The questions you ask yourself...matter!

B

eing self-aware is not a natural thing for people—it’s a skill to be practiced and learned! It is crucial to grow in our self-awareness so we can continue to grow and learn from our experiences. This makes it possible for us to make positive changes, make better choices, and understand ourselves.

Being self-aware helps us get in touch with our emotions which can lead us to handle them in the best possible way

18

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

rather than stuff them or react wildly to life situations without any thought.

Some helpful self-awareness questions:

Self-awareness also helps us to improve our relationships by growing in understanding of others and learning how to communicate more effectively.

At the beginning of each day, you can ask yourself:

Involve the Lord when you reflect!

Sometimes we do not know our own hearts—but God knows everything about us, so He can share insights that may often surprise us!

• What kind of person do I want to be today?

• What attribute do I want to grow in? (for example, patience or kindness) • What is the one thing I really want to accomplish today?

“Self-awareness gives you the capacity to learn from your mistakes as well as your successes. It enables you to keep growing.”

Lawrence Bossidy

“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”

Daniel Goleman

"If you want to change and grow, then you must know yourself and accept who you are before you can start building."

John Maxwell

“Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine.

Test yourselves..."

2 Corinthians 13:5 NLT

At the end of each day, you can ask yourself:

If you had a concerning incident, you can ask yourself:

• • • • •

• Why did I react that way?

• How do I feel about that?

• Why do I feel this way? Does it remind me of a past experience?

What went well today?

What did not go well—would I do anything differently?

What is something I learned or discovered today?

What is one thing I learned about myself today?

What 3 things am I grateful for?

There are numerous self-reflection questions a person can ask themselves depending on the situation—but you can start with a few each day to grow in your own self-awareness!

19

“You are God’s masterpiece.” - Ephesians 2:10 NIV DISCOVER YOU! DO THIS. GETTING TO KNOW YOURSELF. What runs you down? Stresses you out? Makes you angry? Makes you afraid?

Makes you sad? Makes you happy?

I feel emotionally drained when:

I dislike:

I lack peace.

losing.

I am unhappy.

being wrong.

I don’t feel safe.

being in conflict with someone.

I feel overwhelmed by challenges.

being rejected.

I get excited and energized when: I get things done.

I am getting along well with others.

I am involved and gather others to join in.

I gather facts and knowledge and am accurate.

Do I :

I usually feel refreshed and energized when: Tend to see the cup half full (I tend to focus on the positive)

I am around people interacting with them.

Tend to see the cup half empty (I tend to focus on the negative)

When I have my alone time.

Rank 1-6, 1 being the number describing you most, and 6 being the number describing you least.

I feel most loved by people when: They give me a gift.

They take time to do activities with me that I enjoy.

They give me a hug or physical affection.

They take time to listen to me and have quality conversations.

They say affirming, encouraging words to me verbally or written.

What makes you feel alive and sets your heart on fire?

20

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

They do things for me.

SHE KNOWS HERSELF. YOUR DESIGN: KNOW THYSELF What builds you up?

What is that one thing that gives you energy?

What in particular do you have FUN doing?

What are 3-6 top things you value?

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.“ - E.E. Cummings

doodle

21

You're OK

“Forget about self-confidence; It’s useless. Cultivate God-confidence.”

I Corinthians 10:12 MSG We all have a desire to be liked, but God-confidence is

“ I will be fine even if they don’t”

22

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Whoa!

THERE WAS NO ONE EXACTLY LIKE YOU IN ALL OF HISTORY.

YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE.

you are marvelous.

Do you know who you are and whose you are? . . .

Take time to ponder what that is.

YOU ARE UNIQUE – ONE OF A KIND!

“WHAT LIES BEHIND YOU AND WHAT LIES IN FRONT OF YOU PALES IN COMPARISON TO WHAT LIES INSIDE YOU.” RALPH WALDO EMERSON

YOU ARE AN OVERCOMER.

YOUR VERY EXISTENCE IS A MIRACLE.

“BEING A SUCCESSFUL PERSON IS NOT NECESSARILY DEFINED BY WHAT YOU HAVE ACHIEVED, BUT BY WHAT YOU HAVE OVERCOME.” FANNIE FLAGG

YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT ONLY YOU CAN GIFT TO THE WORLD.

YOU WERE CREATED TO REFLECT FACETS OF GOD THAT ONLY YOU CAN ILLUMINATE. “YOU ARE THE ONE AND ONLY YOU THAT EVER WAS OR EVER WILL BE. WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO IN APPRECIATION OF THIS MIRACLE IS A QUESTION ONLY YOU CAN ANSWER.”

THERE WILL NEVER BE ANYONE LIKE YOU IN THE FUTURE.

DAN ZADRA

“A POSSIBILITY WAS BORN THE DAY YOU WERE BORN AND IT WILL LIVE AS LONG AS YOU LIVE.” WHOA.

MARCUS SOLERO

23

ACTIVITY

In addition to journaling with words, you can also do Mindful Doodling! Whether stick figures or intricate designs, release your creativity!

Draw Yourself As A House.

Then ask the Lord if there is anything He wants you to know from what you drew.

Look over the list of words to the right.

Circle the words

that highlight in your

heart—words that you like and have positive feelings about when you read them.

24

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

organized

resourceful

respect

adventurous

loving

free

loyal

imaginative

safe

compassion

creative

generous

independent

hard-working

persevere

strong

confident

brilliant

daring

overcoming

friendly

musical

intelligent

responsible

loving

humble

artistic

honest

successful

unity

brave

considerate

practical

helpful

collaboration

WORD COLLAGE Write, print out, or cut out words that inspire you from old magazines or the newspaper—words that move you emotionally. (Feel free to include words you circled below)

ambitious

joyful

faithful

bold

leader

competitive

mercy

flexible

healthy

humor

energetic

justice

capable

exciting

integrity

determined

trust

dynamic

devoted

spiritual

witty

wisdom

healing

excellence

genuine

fun

tolerant

encourage

kind

wild

peaceful

relaxed

beautiful

protect

action

25

HEY GIRL!

time to get dressed!

W

hen you get ready in the morning, what is your routine? Of course, getting dressed for the day is part of the plan.

Did you ever consider yourself as a real princess? The truth is, you ARE a daughter of the King of Kings, which makes you a royal princess positionally in God’s Kingdom.

You are not only a princess, but a warrior princess.

So, in the midst of your teenage life when so much is going on, you need to be aware of this:

THERE IS THE BATTLE YOU MUST FIGHT IN. PRINCESS, PLANT YOUR FEET AND STAND AGAINST YOUR ENEMY. Your purpose is worth fighting for, and it is far greater than what your grades are, how great you look in your outfit or new haircut, your accomplishments, or how many awards you have won.

That means...you don’t give up even though you might feel like it at times.

You cry out to God for help and wait on Him. His faithfulness will never let you down.

You see, you have an enemy whose great focus is to get you to give up and forget your value, forget who God says you are, and forget your future. Why are you his target?

It is because the enemy knows you are God’s Secret Weapon against his darkness. But maybe you don’t fully know it yet. Get dressed for it anyway.

Graphic by Constance Woods / ConstanceWoods.com

26

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

So, girl, plant your feet on the ground and stand strong. Invest in deepening your relationship with God. You need God’s power and strength to be fierce in your stand against the enemy who lies and desires to damage you, destroy you, distract you, and steal away your joy and destiny in God!

“ “

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; JOHN 10:10 NIV

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

“Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

JAMES 4:7 NLT

FIGHT FROM A PLACE OF VICTORY. In this battle you are in, God gives you outerwear for the battle. God does not leave you without a weapon. He gives you His sword.

Yes, you are a girl with a sword.

You are God’s Warrior Princess—the perfect combination of beautiful femininity and courageous strength.

You are not only God’s Sweetheart, you are His Braveheart.

Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.”

EPHESIANS 6:11-18 NLT

Read and meditate on God’s Word that dresses you, comforts you, nurtures you, grows you, and gives you the supernatural power you need to overcome every battle that comes your way!

Hey Warrior Princess, heaven and earth are waiting for you to arise and take your place.

What sword did He give you? It is God’s Word that you wield to fight with—His truth, His promises.

Let’s get dressed ladies!

27

the big reveal Poem by Michele okimura

SHE IS and is becoming…

She is God’s magnificent intention.

She is a chest full of treasures and gems.

She is a masterpiece being painted.

She is a priceless gift given at the perfect time.

She is the sunshine on a gloomy day.

She is a bundle full of ideas and creativity.

Her intelligence sparks innovation and solutions.

Her voice is worthy to be heard.

Her dreams matter to the heart of God. Her kindness and compassion heals and restores.

Her prayers release angels on assignment.

She is a beacon of hope, integrity, and justice.

She ignites her Father’s joy and delight.

She greets each day with positive expectation.

She discovers new mountains to conquer.

She soars with strength on eagle’s wings.

She was born for such a time as this.

She is a glorious mystery being revealed.

And so much more...

Who is this sign and wonder?

Yes, she is you!

28

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

ENJOY YOURSELF and BE YOU

REFLECTION What lines from the poem especially touch your heart?

Which lines do you like and aspire to be more of?

Which lines are hard to believe about yourself?

We are all in the process of ‘becoming.’ Becoming everything God envisions of us is a life-long process, so be intentional yet patient with yourself!

Ultimately, it is God’s work to change us as we partner with Him!

“being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;” PHILIPPIANS 1:6 NKJV

Ask the Lord for help to believe and live these truths.

Write down a few lines from the poem that stood out to you and take a minute to meditate on them, soaking them into your heart as truths of who you really are in Him!

29

She Acce

30

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E ACCEPTS

“Because God loves you, you can love yourself.

Because God cares for you, you must care for yourself.

Because God has forgiven you, you must forgive yourself.

Because God has accepted you, you must learn to accept yourself.”

epts.

HAROLD J. SALA

JOU RN EY 01 • CHAPTER 03

Do you have a difficult time accepting yourself or parts

of yourself? What are barriers that prevent you from fully embracing who you are?

One of the quickest ways to become discouraged, envious, or intimidated is to compare yourself to others. Learn 5 KEYS to accepting yourself and be FREE from the Comparison Trap!

32

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

THE COMPARISON TRAP

BY LEILA FUJINAKA CERTIFIED JOHN MAXWELL LEADERSHIP COACH

I

’m so excited you’ve started your journey!

For many years I damaged my selfesteem by constantly comparing myself to others, and I didn’t even realize it! I often found myself trying to be someone I was not. I denied my true identity and uniqueness by shrinking back and being less just so I could be like the person I compared myself to. I tried to hide my flaws and compared my weaknesses to other people’s strengths.

Once I learned about the negative power that comparing myself to others had over me, I searched for keys to break out of this trap and committed to change! This freedom is available to you too.

1. STARVE THE MONSTER: Protect your thoughts from negativity.

Do you define yourself through the lens of a mean inner critic leading you to compare yourself to others?

A negative outlook influences your thoughts and magnifies your shortcomings. This impact is a trap! It can take hold and make it hard for you to change the way you view yourself.

In today’s world, negative influences primarily come from other people, news, media, and social media. In fact, more than 50% of news and 62% of social media is negative! Friends and family can affect your self-esteem and mess with your inner thoughts, leaving you discouraged about your future and life.

2. OWN IT!! MISFIT IS YOUR SWEET SPOT!

Ever feel like a misfit? Do you find when comparing yourself to others you try to copy what others do or think, only to realize that’s just not you?

This is a common pitfall of unique individuals who feel like misfits. They feel like they don’t fit in even when they try their hardest to.

Each of us is created to see the world in our own way, with unique ways of thinking or displaying a unique personality. If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, find a new stream, one that suits you. If you’ve spent a lot of time comparing yourself to others, it will most likely take a bit of time for you to adjust your perspective and create a new ‘ideal you’. You may discover your true self for the first time!

33

3. Get personal with gratitude!

Are you aware of how much time is lost when focused on comparing yourself to other people?

Comparison takes your eyes off your goals and can cause you to feel bad about how you’re doing. When we focus on other people's paths rather than our own, we lose perspective on where we are headed and lose sight of the progress we’ve made.

Perfection comparison can cause us to feel helpless, stressed, or shameful.

However, failures and mistakes, though painful in the moment, can be a great help to us if we’re able to learn from them and make needed adjustments.

Everyone experiences failure. If you’ll allow yourself to be mentored by your mistakes, you’ll be further ahead than your counterparts. Give yourself grace and patience in the process.

Learn to accept your role in the failure but don’t stew in the negative emotions!

You can move forward with more wisdom and insights that you gained.

Take the time to look at what you’ve accomplished so far and measure yourself against yourself, not another person. Be grateful for the many things you have in your life. Trade the trap of comparison for inner acceptance and contentment.

“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” MAYA ANGELOU

4. Pick yourself back up after failure.

5. Seriously! Cultivate self-awareness!

Ouch! Ever made some pretty huge mistakes or experienced painful failures? I have.

Do you find you are defensive?

Controlling? Are you unable to recognize how other people experience you?

Have you ever compared yourself to those you think have never made those same mistakes?

When we improve our self-awareness, we find that we will become more comfortable with who we are. Selfawareness is not something you are born with, it’s a skill you practice and develop!

Get this: Embarrassment from a failure is NOT the end of the world!

If you struggle with comparing yourself to others, know that you are not alone in this struggle. Comparison can rear its ugly head at any given moment no matter what age you are, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

My greatest joy would be that you would implement some of the points in this article and begin developing selfawareness to know when comparison is trying to hook you once again.

You are a powerful, young woman with so much to conquer ahead of you AND so much to offer the world. You do not have to look or be like someone else. In fact, the world is tired of phony.

Comparing ourselves pushes us towards being phony. Be on a mission to embrace your unique personality, your unique style, and unique characteristics. There isn’t anyone like you...so live out your uniqueness courageously!

“

Make careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself.

Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”

GALATIANS 6:4-5 MSG

“

...we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse.

We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.”

GALATIANS 5:26 MSG

34

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” - I Samuel 16:7, NLT “Don’t let your mind bully your body.” - June Tomaso Wood

ACCEPT & APPRECIATE YOUR BODY What do you like about your body?

What don’t you like about your body?

Some people are blind, deaf, or without limbs. Some people have lost their sense of taste or smell. Some people have heart problems. What would change in your life if you focused on what your body CAN do rather than on your looks?

You may not like certain parts of your body—yet your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and you were made in God’s image no matter what size, color, or build—your body is a good gift from God. We must not hate our bodies, but grow in appreciation and in how we lovingly care for our bodies.

Try this. Ask the Lord for forgiveness for rejecting, disliking, and maybe even hating certain parts of your body that He gave you. Ask the Lord to help you grow a greater appreciation for the body He has given you! Believe He wonderfully created you.

BE THANKFUL FOR YOU! Write down 3 things you are thankful for about your physical body : personality :

character :

values :

When thoughts of comparison come up, thank God and celebrate the great qualities you already do have!

GOD LOVES EVERY PART OF YOU!

“Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.”

PSALM 139:13-16 MSG

35

List 10 things you love about yourself.

1. Do one a day if you want to.

2. Then ask God how that aspect of you reflects Him.

1. I love

(How does this reflect the Lord?)

2. I love

(How does this reflect the Lord?)

3. I love

(How does this reflect the Lord?)

4. I love

(How does this reflect the Lord?)

5. I love

(How does this reflect the Lord?)

6. I love

(How does this reflect the Lord?)

7. I love

(How does this reflect the Lord?)

8. I love

(How does this reflect the Lord?)

9. I love

(How does this reflect the Lord?)

10. I love

(How does this reflect the Lord?)

36

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Write down nice things people have said about you.

Choose one thing to meditate on each day.

Draw yourself as a flower.

doodle 37

TREASURE

BY LEA HANASHIRO

I hate my red, frizzy hair!!!

T

his was the first thought I had every time I looked in the mirror.

My perception was that the boys liked brown or blonde hair because my close friends all had boyfriends. So why would a boy ever look at me and say “Dang, she’s fine!”? But that’s what I wanted, I wanted boys to think that about me and ask me out. Then came college and I found myself just hoping I would catch someone’s eye enough for them to come over and say hi, hopefully leading to a date.

Every time I would compare myself to another girl, there was always something I wanted to change about me.

If you take this a little deeper, what you can see is that I was actually judging my own self! This led me down a road of fear, negativity, and self-hatred. My sexuality was being expressed through my lens of what I believed about myself.

But what was I afraid of deep down? I was afraid of not being good enough for someone to love.

With the chaos going on around me, it was easy to have confusing and lonely thoughts of wondering where I fit and who I fit with in this world. I had to remind myself of the truth, that my

38

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Father is not an author of confusion, right?

He is good in every way and has only good things for me. He designed me to tune in to His true thoughts that would lead me to a place of feeling loved, knowing I am lovable, and believing that He has someone special who would love every part of me. Out of these truths, I could live every day in my true sexual identity and purity— these truths that would usher me into the destiny my Father planned for me.

What is the lie that swarms around you every day when you look at yourself in the mirror or when you compare yourself to the girls around you? What is that lie that keeps you disconnected from your Father’s heart, or causes you to behave out of fear rather than being the young woman that God created you to be?

Perhaps you hear this in your head: “I’m not pretty or thin enough to be desired by a man.” Or even the thought I had, “I’m not lovable by the opposite sex?”

With whatever confusing thoughts you’re struggling with today, I encourage you to talk to your Heavenly Father. He knows exactly what you’re going through and can bring healing into your heart and emotions. You are a young woman, He celebrates the goodness of your femininity that you carry. You are Your Father’s Treasure.

“

…we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure...

2 CORINTHIANS 4:7 NLT

but I want it!

I

know. Sometimes it can be hard to accept things the way things are right now, right? Ever feel unsatisfied?

Restless? Hopeless? Bored?

Ok, let’s be honest. I am sure there are relationships and circumstances in your life that you wish were very different.

It can be hard to simply accept things that need to be accepted and find peace in your life. It can be a challenge to be content with your • • • •

situation skills and abilities looks and personality wardrobe

Let’s admit it! Many of us like nice things, popular things, stylish things, and things that our friends have that we don’t have! We live in a consumer culture that lures us to always want more, more, more! Wanting more is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be damaging when our top goals are to fulfill those desires.

Through all the life lessons and growing pains we experience, God also wants us to find contentment and peace each day with what we do have. Are you content with who you are and who you are becoming?

Yup! There sure is a tension between taking actions steps to grow, stretch, improve and advance, and being at peace and satisfied with how things are. Either extreme can be unhealthy, but God wants us to find peace in the moment and accept what we cannot change...at least right now. There is also the element of peace, patience, and timing to consider in our longings.

Seeking to be fulfilled by the things of this world may give us a temporary high, but in the end it will leave us still thirsty for more. God desires to satisfy our souls and strengthen our sense of peace and gratitude in the midst of our sometimes chaotic world.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

ROMANS 12:2 NLT

“…I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”

PHILIPPIANS 4:11-13 NLT

“But godliness with contentment is great gain.”

1 TIMOTHY 6:6 NIV

Gain strength and perspective from His Word.

LET THIS BE YOUR PRAYER God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

REINHOLD NIEBUHR

39

She Believ

40

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E B ELI EVES

“Every time we believe God,

He credits it to our account as righteousness.”

ves.

BETH MOORE, BELIEVING GOD

JOU RN EY 01 • CHAPTER 04

41

You are Consider who God says you are. Declare the following statements, pausing after each one, and allow yourself to feel it!

I am a child of God God’s loving presence surrounds me.

God dances and sings over me.

I am released to dream!

I have permission to be me.

I have courage to try new things.

I have permission to fail.

I learn from my experiences.

I am called forth to create.

I am uniquely and wonderfully designed.

Nothing is impossible with God.

42

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” JOHN 8:44 NIV

THE TRUTH:

You have immense and incredible value. You were planned and purposed.

who told you?

Exchanging lies for the truth

“

If God said it, I want to believe it. If God gives it, I want to receive it. If God shows it, I want to perceive it. If Satan stole it, I want to retrieve it.”

BETH MOORE, BELIEVING GOD

Many of us have grown up having people around us label us, reject us, call us names, and put us down through words and actions. Sometimes we judge ourselves and tell ourselves lies that contradict the truth of the immense and incredible value that God gives us.

Who told you, you weren’t good enough? Who told you, you are worthless? Who told you, you are not loved?

The point is, Who told you? Was it a family member? Was it a classmate?

Was it yourself? Or was it God?

The battle:

“…he (the devil) was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him.

When he lies, he speaks his native

An experiment was done in a high school class where each student wrote the words, “I am SPECIAL,” on a sheet of paper. In the next 24 hours, if someone said or did something that was somewhat hurtful, they would tear off a portion of that sheet that represented how much the action or words ripped at the statement that they were special. By the next class period, the students were to share what their sheets looked like.

The result was that the vast majority of the class had little, or NO sheets of paper left.

The truth is you have an enemy who wants to destroy you. This enemy can be relentless and can work through people and circumstances.

BUT you also have a Heavenly Father, the one who dreamed you into being, who is FOR YOU, who is your ADVOCATE, and who wants to build you up. God is also relentless in pursuing you with His love. He desires you to fulfill the incredible destiny He has planned. He created you to be a GIFT to this world.

But we judge ourselves and believe lies about who we are. Ask God to search your heart and show you what you believe about yourself that is not in agreement with Him.

“

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”

PSALM 139: 23-24 NLT

A first step to being able to really believe the truth of who God says you are, is to ask God to forgive you for believing lies about your worth.

Do this quick activity!

1. Get a paper and write down a list of negative words you would use to describe yourself (could be words as ugly, not-good-enough, a mistake, dumb etc.)

2. Next, ask God to forgive you for judging yourself in those ways.

For each word, say, “Lord, please forgive me for judging myself as .” Repeat this prayer for each of the words you have listed.

3. Next, crumple the paper and throw it away.

4. Then ask God, “Lord, please share with me how you see me.”

Sit awhile and journal the positive word, sentence or picture that comes to mind as you wait on God. Ask the Lord to continue to help you to see yourself in the truth of who you really are in Him!

43

FASHIONED FOR LOVE

BY NANCY VUU

Nancy Vuu is a Dreamer.

She dreams with God and as a result, the anointing flows through her luxury fashion brand. Nancy Vuu Inc. Couture Designs continue to grace red-carpet events such as the Grammy’s, American Music Awards, Films and red-carpet events. In addition her designs have been featured in Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar and Elle magazines around the globe.

Now she shares her story with Brave & Beautiful on how she found her true identity through GOD who “qualifies the un-qualified to greatness.

when I was a young girl who really loved God and dreamed of one day becoming a fashion designer. As I grew up, I forgot about this dream. One day everything changed as God reminded me of my dreams while attending a women’s Christian conference. I learned of God’s heart.

Suddenly, in this room filled with thousands of women, I heard an audible voice asking, “Do you know your daughter?”

When the voice spoke, immediately everything shut down, I could not see or hear anyone or anything else in the room. All I could hear was this voice, and I saw a big scroll that came from Heaven. As the scroll opened, I saw my older daughter’s face.

I replied, “Of course I know my daughter, that’s Isabella.”

The voice replied, “Well, your daughter, along with every other little girl in America, dreams of wearing these exquisite gowns simply to be a princess.

Hello Brave & Beautiful one!

I am so excited to share with you how God raised an ordinary girl that did not qualify in the world’s eyes, but God chose her to be His special ambassador in the world of fashion. It all began

44

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Then I saw my daughter twirling with the most exquisite gown. I replied, “That’s so true!” Every girl wants to be a princess who is loved, valued and has dignity.

The voice came back and asked, “What about all the other children in the world who all long to be a princess, but they can’t even fathom wearing a gown. They are thinking about whether or not they are going to live, have food and shelter.”

Then I saw children from all different nations who were very sick, who did not have food or water. These children were abandoned and abused. My heart sunk as I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world.

The voice came back again, and instructed me, “Start designing, and tell these little girls that no matter what their circumstances are, they are loved and are true princesses to the one True King.

At this point, I did not know how to sew or know anyone in the fashion industry, but I replied, “Wow! What a great idea!” I gave God my “yes.” I now partner with God in fashion to expand God’s Kingdom by clothing children and young ladies to remind them of their true identity. We are the daughters of God Most High, Heirs to the Kingdom.

To this day, I still do not know how to sew, but God has taken me on amazing adventures where I have the privilege to clothe young ladies like yourself, celebrities and royal family members.

It’s not about our own gifts and talents that qualify us to do great works. Yes, God can use all that too, but it is in our love and obedience to God that qualifies us. God is able to make all things possible when we give Him our “yes.”

How kind was God that even when I forgot about my own dreams of becoming a fashion designer as a little girl, God did not forget. In fact, God

in pursuing your dreams while honoring God. God loves you and He has great plans for your life. You are fashioned for love and greatness!

I remember one time when God gave me a vision of being a world renowned designer and showed me I would style royal families. I rejected the vision God gave me. I disqualified myself. I said, “No, that will never happen. I’m not even a real designer and I don’t even know how to sew.” But God lovingly rebuked me and said, “No! You are a designer. I made you to be a designer, now move in your role!” Immediately when he released these words over me, it was as if a blanket of truth and identity floated from the sky and gently fell on me. I was able to receive all that God said I was. My spirit received who my Creator fashioned me to be.

Knowing this truth has enabled me to walk out my purpose and destiny.

How many times have we let our friends, family or the world rob us of this truth? Or even worse, how many times have we disqualified ourselves?

We must learn how to silence the lies that say we are not good enough.

Instead, we need to ask God what He thinks of us, and who He says we are

What He says is truth.

loved me so much that he personalized my calling and my purpose to fulfill the dream. I believe the dreams and passions we have are actually dreams and passions that God puts inside of us as invitations for us to partner with Him in that very thing.

What God has done for me, He also wants to do for you! That’s right, He wants to partner with you in your dreams and He wants to show off His greatness inside of you! I want to encourage you to share your dreams with your parents or trusted mentor and ask God how you can partner with Him

Do you know what God thinks about you? I challenge you to ask Him. He has more good thoughts about you than the stars in the sky. Do you know what He made you for? He has fashioned each one of us for Love and Greatness but He has a purpose and a great plan that He has written uniquely just for you.

I bless you with strength & courage to pursue all God has for you.

Love, Nancy Vuu

45

Be BY NANCY VUU

This Brave and Beautiful being you see here was given through an encounter I had with King Jesus when He showed me a vision of a young girl entering womanhood. I saw her clothed in the exquisite beauty and extravagance of the finest garden. Grace and strength were upon her and she had no fear of the future as she held the sword of truth and proudly wore her crown. She knew her authority and stood firm in her identity. She was the King's daughter, a mighty princess warrior. Wherever she went, she released beauty and strength.

This Brave and Beautiful being lives within us. She is you. She is me. She is clothed in roses & flowers. Even King Solomon in all his splendor was not arrayed like one of these.

Her couture garden gown reminds us that we are the Garden of the Lord and we wait for Him to encounter us. It was in the Garden of Eden that God encountered Adam and Eve, and this was God's original plan. God wants to encounter us today, and when we give Him access to our hearts, He is able to create in

Credits: Creative Director: Nancy Vuu www.nancyvuu.com info@nancyvuu.com Illustrator: H. Ashour

46

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

On page 48, color this same image and bring it to life in your own way. It can symbolically represent brave and beautiful you!

us an unmatched beauty. She is adorned with a crown as her true identity is etched in her spirit. She carries a sword of truth that disarms the lies of the enemy. She moves forward in combat boots ready, prepared and positioned to flow in love, greatness and victory. Her body and hair is made of olive leaves that bring healing to herself, her family, her community and to the nations.

May the brave and beautiful spirit within you arise, for you are appointed and annointed for such a time as this. LOVE & GREATNESS is your portion. I bless you.

47

48

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Reflect and journal any insights you gained while coloring the previous page. Why did you choose those particular colors as you brought your image to life? In what ways does this image depict beauty and bravery to you? Journal freely!

49

YOU ARE AN IMPORTANT PIECE

BY MARGARET VESNEFSKI

50

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

I

n 7th grade, my family and I moved from Southern California to Taipei, Taiwan where my parents grew up. I was completely devastated! I had finally found my group of friends and the thought of making new friends in a foreign place sounded next to impossible.

Barely into the first three months of starting school, I was off to a record start of being noticed. Within a short span of time, I had managed to projectile vomit all over the screen in health class while trying to run out of the room with my hands unsuccessfully covering my mouth. Weeks later, feeling like I missed the bandwagon on getting my period when it happened to all the girls around me, I suddenly felt a gushing sensation in my panties in English class! Horrors! When I looked down, I had leaked blood onto my floral pink jumper and left an obvious stain on the beige chair when I got up.

Back then, it seemed like everything humiliating happened to me more than anyone else.

All I longed for was to fit in and not to stand out. But for whatever reason, I kept standing out in all the ways I did not want to. The more I tried to be like everyone else, the more it would backfire. I even got a boyfriend, held hands, and played the game Truth or Dare because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Instead, I was constantly getting my feelings hurt.

Since my parents were not home that often, I would often blast my music and

cry in the bathroom so no one could hear me. I felt like I was an awkward piece of a jigsaw puzzle that was put in the wrong box!

Years later, I began noticing the phenomenon—things happened backwards for me, hard things were easy, and simple things that made sense to others were hard for me. Sometimes, I would struggle with an overwhelming sense of loneliness, and I would feel it the most when I was surrounded by my family. I always felt like I wanted to escape somehow.

However, over time as I came to know Jesus, He redeemed my childhood and showed me how He created me uniquely and set me apart from others. He told me that I am an important piece in the Kingdom of God.

“

I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.

Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

piece that is made specifically to influence others, change lives, and impact the world.

So, hang on to all the spaces and places of you that you might not like at the moment! He makes all things beautiful in His time and works all things for good as we trust Him. God already sees you as His ever-blooming, unique, and stunning masterpiece!

“

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

EPHESIANS 2:10 NLT

IS A JIGSAW PUZZLE COMPLETE WITH ONE PIECE MISSING? NO. “Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a

special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many

parts of one body, and we all

JEREMIAH 1:4-5 NLT

belong to each other.”

Sometimes you may question why God made you a certain way in your personality, your physical attributes or even the family you were born into. He wants you to know you are an important

ROMANS 12:4-5 NLT

51

“The Lord will hold you in his hand for all to see— a splendid crown in the hand of God.” ISAIAH 62:3 NLT

“I am not concerned with outer obstacles, only the inner ones.”

ANNE COLEMAN LADD, SCULPTOR

52

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

t u o h s ut! o

I AM Declarations Take a moment with God in silence. Close your eyes, and ask God to share with you who HE says you

are. Write down positive words or descriptions. Examples: I am courageous. I am loved. I am a light like the brightest star in a dark night. Quickly write down whatever positive words come into your mind

without analyzing! If you get a picture in your mind of something, ask God what is the positive attribute about you that He is trying to communicate through that picture.

After you are done writing, speak these statements out loud regularly. This can help solidify the truth of your identity in Christ and help you to believe! There is power in your written and spoken words.

I am I am I am I am I am I am I am

53

M IND F UL LET T ERING Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

54

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Action Steps

YOU GO GIRL! LET’S WALK IT OUT. she is Brave & Beautiful you!

••

She is BRAVE AND BEAUTIFUL. She DISCOVERS. She ACCEPTS. She BELIEVES.

CHOOSE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS STEPS:

1. In Ghana, West Africa, it is customary for people

to say, “It’s true. Thank you!” whenever someone compliments them on anything. The next time

someone gives you compliment, respond by saying, “Thank you!” In this way, you can pro-actively affirm your value and worth. A compliment is like a gift, so receive it with gratitude and do not reject it!

2. Write in depth for 5-10 minutes about one of the values that you hold dear. It could be you value

family, a loyal friend, a skill or talent you have, your

relationship with God, or an attribute like honesty or justice—anything in particular that you value.

OR

3. Create an identity statement—one sentence that

reflects at least one of the many facets of who you

aspire to be. Make it a positive statement, as you are a gift from above to this world. After writing it, say it

out loud daily for one whole month. You may decide to continue this activity each month with a new positive statement.

Using a word-picture like an animal or object can be helpful in communicating your heart.

Examples of this are: • I am sunshine, giving hope to the hopeless.

• I am a lioness that is brave and protects the weak.

Make a list of the values that are most important to you.

• I am a creative problem solver that makes a difference.

This affirmation activity can help you to believe that

you have immense worth. What you value matters— it is part of your identity and your contribution to the world!

1-888-373-7888

TOLL-FREE HOTLINE | 24/7 CONFIDENTIAL

Get Help Report Trafficking

55

VOLUME 01 — PART 2

You have a voice that is meant to be heard.

Finding your own roar and unique expression is a

compelled to always run at full speed. We live in a

journey and a process of discovery. God gave you a voice

world full of distractions, pressures, expectations, and

literally and figuratively to make a positive difference

unexpected trials. It can be second nature for us to

and declare what is good and true in this world!

want to always pursue the next thing! Other priorities

You were designed to express yourself in sometimes

often compete with what is most healthy for us.

quiet, unassuming, tender ways, and other times loud,

Do you make space for rest that restores and refreshes

bold, and public ways. You never know when one of

your weary body and soul? Giving yourself that much

your spontaneous, profound moments will reveal the

needed pause to reflect, connect with God, and restore

glory of God inside of you.

your balance and positive energy is wise and healthy—

You have a heart that is meant to connect with people and with God. In relating to God mind to mind and heart to heart, you will realize that He is your Heavenly Father who loves to lavish His love upon you and is for you. Do you know His Father’s heart towards you? He is incredibly interested in connecting with you in a real, alive, and intimate relationship. But how does one connect to God? Great question! You will gain some practical

even godly!

Welcome to this second section of Brave and Beautiful where you will be encouraged and learn ways to embrace and treasure: • more of YOU and the unique ways YOU enjoy expressing yourself • your relationship with God • the practice of rest

ways to grow in hearing God’s voice —a journey of wonder and full of surprises. Our prayer is that you

Continue your journey with positive expectation. What

will encounter God as a lifestyle.

treasures will you discover? May your eyes and ears be

You have a mind and body that are meant to have a rhythm of rest. Let’s pause.

It may seem unnatural or uncomfortable to prioritize rest, since many of our lives are immersed in the hustle. Some of us may even crave the hustle and feel

56

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

attentive, so you won’t miss the gems along your path!

She She She

Expresses Connects Rests

57

She Expres

58

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E EXPRESSES

You have a voice. Nobody else on the planet

has your unique voice, your mind, your heart,

your story, or your hopes and dreams.

JOU RN EY 01 • CHAPTER 05

sses.

seven ways to express you!

Write it! Draw it! Paint it! Make it! Dance it! Capture it!

Y

ou are unique. And how you love to naturally express yourself will be unique too. Sometimes just talking out your thoughts or feelings can’t seem to fully express what is in your heart—but maybe baking a dessert, singing a song, painting a picture, dancing it out, or taking a photo hits the spot!

of needing to use correct grammar.

You can even make your poem into something artistic to look at. One word repeated, or a phrase or question can be expressed randomly. Ask the Lord to inspire you and freely write!

Maybe you want to express a value, conviction, a certain positive message to others or maybe just to God.

Poetry can be especially helpful to write during intense, sad, and difficult times or immense, joyful times because it can help you release those deep, dark or excited and exuberant feelings you have.

Journaling is always a great ‘go to’ way to express yourself, but sometimes journaling sentences may not quite do it for you. But writing a poem, for instance...maybe then the words might flow out like a river.

Here are some possible ways you can explore expressing yourself. Why not try some new expressions? You may just discover something new about yourself!

1. Write a poem

Poetry can allow you to freely express your feelings without the constraints

60

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

It can rhyme or not rhyme.

It can follow a pattern or not.

2. Film it or take a photo

God expresses Himself in an infinite amount of ways—even through creation and created things! So can you. It has been said, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

A photo or a video captures a moment, and the interpretation of it can speak volumes and move the heart. Photos and videos often can be a blessing to others.

Capture a moment by taking a photo or video with your smartphone or camera when something is highlighted to you or when you are inspired to do so. Attach a meaning to that moment.

Consider taking a moment to ask God if there is anything He wants to tell you about the picture or video you took that expresses a simple but profound message He wants you to know from His heart to yours.

3. Paint or sketch it

Painting or sketching can be a great way to express yourself. Whether you are more realistic or abstract, there are no rules! Even painting a canvas one color can mean something to you!

The famous artist Pablo Picasso said, “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up”.

Unlike what teachers can sometimes teach you about coloring within the lines, I challenge you to color outside of the lines! Expand the possibilities!

There are no rules when you are creating a painting or sketch—be as free and as wild as you want to be! Ask the Lord to give you courage to express yourself through this visual way. Try releasing your feelings and thoughts in this way and see what happens. Have fun experimenting!

4. Make it

Maybe some of you like to build things, sculpt things, produce a film, bake things, put together something graphically, or craft things...the list goes on! Something you make can express your thoughts and emotions in a tangible, symbolic way—especially if you like to work with your hands. Many different types of materials or media can be used!

How you decorate cookies or cupcakes can also be considered mini sculptures.

Arranging flowers from your garden can express a message using the colors and designs you choose! Ask the Lord to give you ideas on how to express what is in your heart and mind through making something—there are unlimited ways to express a thought or emotion through your ‘creations.’

Attach meaning to it.

5. Dance it

For some of us, dancing it out releases what is inside of us! Whether hip hop, popping, ballet, hula, jazz, lyrical styles, contemporary or cultural dances... or just however—go for it! You don’t have to be a professional to dance. It is interesting that you don’t have to ‘teach’ a toddler to dance—they just start moving their bodies to the beat of a song. Most cultures, if not every culture, have their own form of dance.

Maybe we were all made to dance in our own way?

Dancing does not always need to be a formal performance in front of people.

It can be an authentic expression from within. Consider playing a favorite song that expresses your emotions and dance to it before the Lord in the privacy of your room to let it all out for an audience of One. Even doing a ‘happy dance’ for a few minutes when something amazing happens can bring a release of the joy inside of you. Remember King David was a dancer:

6. Play your instrument or sing a song

Making melody can be an effective way to express our hearts. Singing a sad song when we are sad, or singing a happy song when we are happy can bring great expression. Playing a beat on a drum can express joy or anger—or playing a certain melody on any instrument can be a ‘voice’ that can powerfully and simply express our heart and mind without words.

Consider spending time with God, just you and your instrument. Play whatever melody comes out freely—go with the flow of His Spirit. Or sing a song while just making up the melody and words in the moment. Explore new ways of expressing yourself through music.

7. Write a story or a script

Whether writing a fictional story to express yourself or journaling a real account with real emotions, writing can get what is inside of you onto paper.

“And David danced before the Lord with all his might…”

II SAMUEL 6:14 NLT

61

express yourself.

You have a story to tell...

“I want to write, but more than that I want to bring out all kinds of things that lie buried deep in my heart. I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.”

ANNE FRANK, DIARIST

Journaling, writing down your thoughts, is one of the most profound practices! It can help you connect with your deepest feelings and help process and work out difficult, even painful situations. It may help you discover creative solutions and fresh insights you didn’t know you had within you. It also is recording your story, your personal history, that is being written with each new day.

62

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

You have a voice.

Keep this in mind as you go through Brave and Beautiful.

We know your life can be busy and it is challenging to start a new habit, but journaling can change your life!

Whether you journal on your computer or write with pen and paper, you can start with simple and small baby steps.

From whispers to a roar Just maybe God wants to turn your soft whispers into a mighty roar that impacts this world in ways you couldn’t even imagine!

•

HOW TO BEGIN

•

Start with writing about anything you want to write about.

•

Reflect on your day.

Pick a time of day that is best for you to write.

•

What are your feelings and thoughts?

•

If you don’t know how to begin, make a list of things you are grateful for.

63

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.” - Brené Brown THE POWER OF YOUR STORY Think back over the different stages of your life. Recall significant and memorable experiences. The events in your unique life story shaped who you are today.

On this timeline, from birth to present, graph and label 3-5 significant events in your life that are positive memories.

Also mark and label 3-5 significant negative events in your life that had caused you emotional pain.

• What were your greatest successes?

• Was it an individual success or a team success?

• When did you feel most excited?

Recall the greatest challenges and painful times you had to overcome.

BIRTH

PRESENT

*Use the space above and below the timeline for your recordings.

How did you feel doing this timeline activity?

How did each experience change you? What did you learn from each experience you recorded?

Looking at your timeline, you see the hills and valleys of life you experienced. Do you notice any themes or patterns?

If so, make note of them here:

64

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“Vulnerability is the center of shame, scarcity, fear, anxiety, and uncertainty.

But it is also the birthplace of love, belonging, and joy.” - Brené Brown

Meditate on your timeline for a moment. Do you notice anything? Is there something you never saw or realized before? If so, what is highlighted to you?

COURAGE TO BE VULNERABLE It can be scary to reveal our personal secrets or things about ourselves that we would rather hide from others. It takes courage to express such details. Being vulnerable and sharing transparently with safe, trustworthy people builds connections that can heal and lift off toxic shame from our lives. Being vulnerable can give us the help and strength we need to blossom in life!!

It is a powerful and meaningful experience to feel heard—for someone to know the good, the bad, and even the ugly about your life, and still love and accept you without judgment. When this happens, we can experience the tangible love of God through someone else.

So how do you know when to share and with whom? It is always great to pray to the Lord for direction on this, but the following are some helpful clues to know some of the characteristics of a safe person.

• Someone who is non-judgmental and accepts you as you are • Someone who will speak the truth in love to you • Someone who loves you no matter what you do

• Someone who you feel comfortable being yourself with • Someone who believes in you

• Someone who helps you be like Christ

• Someone who is encouraging and comforting • Someone who is a good listener

• Someone who can keep what you share confidential (not someone who gossips) Vulnerably expressing yourself with people who you feel safe, such as a parent, close family member, close friend, counselor, or trusted church leader can bring you the support needed to navigate through the twists and turns of life.

65

fun & fearless fashionista!

How we dress expresses something unique about us.

W

e all have our own style of dress. What is your favorite outfit? Some of us go for comfort and like the casual, sporty, simple or free-spirited look, some of us like to dress creatively, some like the well-tailored look, some of us like the frilly dresses. We each express ourselves uniquely.

Ever wonder how the way we dress may tie into our own desires to be noticed?

For some of us, we can dress to impress, to get noticed, or to feel like we belong. You can be beautifully stylish on the outside, but how are you clothed on the inside?

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at.

People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” I SAMUEL 16:7 NIV On the inside, God desires to clothe you with His likeness.

He means for you to stand tall, chin up, hearts humble, yet confident in Him. With your crystal clear eyes and a willing, honoring heart, God’s living water wants to bubble up inside of you like a spring of water, overflowing to others.

“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”

COLOSSIANS 3:12-14 NLT

66

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”

PROVERBS 31:25 NLT

So, how you display

mercy kindness humility

gentleness patience forgiveness

love strength and dignity

towards others can be creatively and uniquely expressed!

May you radiate Christ!

Be uniquely stylish!

Clothe yourself with the right things!

JOURNAL Out of the list below, what are the top 3 attributes do you feel you need to clothe yourself with today?

*mercy * kindness * humility * gentleness * patience * forgiveness * love * strength * and dignity

Take a moment to ask the Lord about ways you can creatively express these attributes this week.

Briefly journal your plan of actions here:

67

THE POWER OF WORDS

BY FIONA CUSTER

I

’m not sure when I started journaling, but I remember doing it as a tween. I had so many thoughts and feelings bottled up that needed to spill out somehow, and typically they found their way into the world through words on a page. I started a lot of entries with “Dear Fiona…” followed by questions to my future self, such as, “Did you ever meet your celebrity crush? Did you get married?” I also journaled a lot about the feelings I had about my life, my parents and my friends. Sometimes I would write entries similar to Psalms. I loved Jesus and I saw His provision and love in my life and there were moments I just had to write about them. I loved using words to express myself.

As I got older, I realized that I also loved using words to express how I felt about my friends or boyfriends. I would write notes, long emails or just tell those closest to me how much I loved or appreciated them. In my early adult years, I found myself in jobs where powerful and convincing words were keys to success. Whether I was selling clothes, helping people choose which meal to order as a server, or guiding women to find the right skincare, words mattered.

68

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

One of my favorite ways to use the gift of words was to coach women through childbirth. I was a doula (labor coach) for seven years. Through words, I was able to empower, encourage and surround women with the support they needed to bring their little ones earth side. On my way to each birth, I always asked God to give me the right words at the right time. God is a very specific God and he has very specific words for every one of his children. Partnering with God to let his words flow through me to these women when they needed them was such an exhilarating partnership!

And you know what’s awesome? You can tap into the gift and power of your words right NOW! Your words can make an impact. There are people all around you that are desperate to hear encouragement, truth, hope and joy. God is looking at you and asking, “Would you like to partner with me to empower and encourage others?” How you answer him is entirely up to you.

You can use your gift of words creatively in so many ways—either to build up those around you or tear them down.

Be mindful of when negative or hurtful

words want to flow out of you and ask God for help if this is a struggle. Words have power to give life, create realities, and damage hearts…sometimes for years to come.

Ask God if there is someone in your life who could use a word of encouragement.

You could write stories that speak of the wonder of life. You could write poems to share with anyone who has meant something to you. You could write songs or make videos to express yourself or to share what God is saying to you.

If you feel unsure or nervous about writing, I encourage you to just begin writing in a journal or notebook. Try expressing yourself in a private way to prepare for more public expressions.

God has given us all minds to create sentences and thoughts for a reason.

One of the most powerful ways to use words is to declare God’s truth about who He says you are: • In Isaiah 43:4, God says that you are precious and honored in his sight and He loves you.

• He tells you in Psalm 139:14, 16 that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and that your frame was not hidden from him when you were made in the secret place. He declares that his eyes saw your unformed body and he wrote out all the

days ordained for you before one of them ever came to be.

• He promises in Jeremiah 29:13 that when you seek him, he will be found by you and he will bring you back from any captivity you’re trapped in.

• God proclaims in John 8:36 that when you trust Jesus as your Savior, the Son sets you free!

Friend, God sees you. He knows your story. Even the most secret parts of who you are. Before Him, you can stand confidently fully known, fully accepted and fully loved. But this encouragement isn’t just for you! Partner with God and

• And out of that freedom I urge you to take Hebrews 10:25 to heart “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

ask him, “How can I share this with others through the gift of words you have given me?” You will never regret joining forces with God and allowing him to guide you as you share words with others. His words are always the best and life-giving!

69

She Conne

70

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E CON N ECTS

She connects heart to heart with God.

JOU RN EY 01 • CHAPTER 06

ects.

FATHERED

By Michele Okimura

Your Father’s heart is passionate about you.

His eyes sparkle with delight just thinking about you.

He sings songs of blessings over you.

He even dances over you.

He pursues you because you are worth pursuing.

His compassion and love for you are deep and wide and high.

God could have lived any place in the world or universe, But He chose your heart as His dwelling place.

You are not a mistake.

You are not an accident.

You are purposed.

He designed you.

You are His glorious intention.

Your name is written upon the tablets of His heart.

Your walls are ever before Him. He whispers your name, and heaven hears.

When you feel alone, He reminds you of His ever-present, wrap around love.

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, And not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, Yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.” Isaiah 49:14-16 NKJV

God put great effort in creating you—His divine masterpiece. You were planned and purposed as a gift to this world, an intricate part of His divine dream. If you should drift away from Him, He eagerly waits for your return. He is for you. He is for you. He is for you. His good thoughts toward you outnumber the grains of sand. He desires to embrace you whether you succeed or fail. He celebrates who you are and who you are becoming. He loves to listen to you, speak to you, and just be with you.

You are His Beloved Child!

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”

I JOHN 3:1 NIV

“He will delight over you with joy. He will quiet you with His love. He will dance for joy over you with singing.”

ZEPHANIAH 3:17 TLV

72

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Jeremiah 17:9-10 MSG

“The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be.”

10K

papered walls of our hearts.

Do you like painted walls or wall-papered walls?

We may like certain colors and designs on our walls to make them look pretty and pleasing to the eye.

We can embellish the walls of our hearts as well with attractive artwork and wall hangings. We can plaster those walls with decorative denial, frilly frames of focused forgetfulness, or pretty patterned pastels over pain and shame. The walls can look quite dandy to us—so why bother taking them down?

We actually do not fully know our own hearts and what is hiding behind those walls! Only God really knows the true condition of our hearts so we need His help...

We all have walls around our hearts to protect those tender or dark parts we don’t want to deal with and maybe even aren’t aware of. Some walls are broken down by tangible love encounters of God and the love of other people. Other walls may still be standing strong as barriers, blocking out the love

ACTIVITY

of God from healing and receiving all the good He wants to give us!

We want close relationships, yet at the same time we can fear close relationships, even with God. Will people reject me if they really knew EVERYTHING about me? Well, your Heavenly Father knows everything about you— walls and all—and He continues to relentlessly reach out to love on and restore every part of you.

Your walls are His concern.

“See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.” ISAIAH 49:16 NKJV

We build walls around our hearts due to not knowing how to handle our emotions in healthy ways. We no longer need our self-made walls that block God out. He wants to be our Healer, Defender and Protector over our hearts

Listen to Reckless Love by Cory Asbury and open your heart to Him. Let Him melt those walls away.

One at a time, step by step!

73

WHAT’S MY PARENTS GOT TO DO WITH IT?

BY BETH BACHRAN

D

id you ever consider that your parents were once BABIES? Well, they used to be babies and they used to be kids. Can you imagine that?! They used to be cute, little, innocent, wide-eyed, and pure.

They had hopes and dreams about what life could be like, as little kids should.

BUT when they were kids, they may not have been parented perfectly. Let’s face it—who is parented perfectly? NO ONE! Their hearts may have been broken over and over by being misunderstood.

Maybe your parents • were raised in a super strict home with harsh discipline.

• were rarely given love, kindness, or encouragement.

• were not given grace for their mistakes.

• were not praised or affirmed.

• were abused and rejected.

• experienced various traumas for which they still need healing.

• were abandoned by one or both parents.

• had parents who were so absorbed in their own struggles that they did not receive much attention.

74

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

They grew up the best way they knew how—just like you are now.

affects your ability to feel connected to Him.

Fast forward. Now they are YOUR mom or your dad. I know there are days when it seems that they JUST DON’T GET IT! There are days when they are silently hoping they will get it right, but they cannot read your mind any more than you can read theirs. Conflicts between you and your parents can hurt your heart…and it hurts their hearts.

For example:

Maybe there are days when your parents are fun and enjoyable to be around and life is good! (We all like to focus on those days.) And maybe there are those days when you are sweet, kind, and helpful towards them.

Relationships are a two-way street!

Both sides need to give patience and grace. And your parents are probably doing the best with what they have… they are still in the process of growing and learning as well.

The only One who can parent perfectly is your Good, Good Father God. He is safe, kind, patient, compassionate, all-wise, and powerful!

However, the negative experiences you have had with your earthly parents can negatively affect how you see your Heavenly Father. Your view of God

• If your parents rarely provide for your needs, it may be hard for you to trust God to provide for you.

• If your parents are usually mad and disapproving towards you, you may tend to see God as usually angry, just waiting for you to mess up.

• If your parents are not guiding you, it may be difficult to turn to God for help and wisdom because you are used to figuring things out on your own.

• If your parents do not show interest in your life, it may be hard for you to believe God cares about you and delights in you.

• If you do not have a heart connection with your parents, then God may seem distant and detached.

On the positive side…if you have loving, supportive parents who are safe places for you to open up to, then it is probably easier for you to trust God and feel secure in His love.

God is Father, but He also has all the tender parts of motherly love too. That kind of love that nurtures and holds tight and is safe as well.

As you grow in your relationship with your Heavenly Father, give to God in prayer any negative perceptions you have about Him that you recognize could be rooted in your experiences with your earthly parents. Ask Him to show you the truth of who He really is for you!

Work on forgiving your parents for ways you feel they have failed you.

And at the same time, how about taking some time to pray for strength, wisdom, and blessings over your earthly parents!

If you have experienced rejection from a parent, take comfort in God’s promises to you: “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.” Psalm 27:10 NLT

75

JOURNAL ACTIVITY 1. Get a piece of paper.

2. Journal by writing each parent a letter. *You will NOT be giving them this letter so feel free to express yourself.

The treasure will be how your heart will feel when you express things on this paper that you may not even know are in your heart. Your letter might look something like this sample: Dear Mom/Dad, I never reflected on the fact that you were once a teenager like me. One thing I need from you is One thing I want you to know about me is (could be a dream of yours or anything you want them to know about you) One reason I am thankful for you is

Make the words your own and express whatever you want! If your letter happens to be full of negative emotions and hurtful words you expressed, you can know that God understands and knows how you feel.

3. Once you are done writing, ‘give it to God’ by tearing the letter up and throwing it away. God is holding your heart!

4. Now ask your Perfect Heavenly Father to give you ways to express GRACE and FORGIVENESS to your parents.

He is parenting you perfectly and your parents are doing their best (even though it may not seem like it to you).

Remember, your parents were once just babies who had to grow up!

If you feel led to, you may then write a loving letter to your parents to actually give to them, expressing your needs, your true feelings, your dreams, your thanks towards them, and your positive desires for your relationship with them.

P.S. Another idea is to write letters like this to God. Tell Him what you need. Tell Him what you’re feeling. Feelings are real, but they’re not always the truth. So, when you tell the Totally Truthful One, He can give your heart what it needs.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!...” I JOHN 3:1 NLT He is the perfect Father who loves you so relentlessly!

76

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

JOURNAL INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Take a moment, close your eyes, and take some deep breaths.

2. Ask God to clear your mind, then ask Him, "Father, what do you think about me?"

3. Begin writing a letter to yourself FROM Your Heavenly Father, asking God to speak His encouragements to you.

Whatever comes into your mind, write it down like you are dictating a letter to you from God. 4. Remember that He will only say good things to you! Don't analyze your thoughts, just write down what pops in your mind. It may be one sentence or many sentences. Take your time.

5. If you want to draw anything He shares with you (what comes to mind), feel free to use the space to sketch. *On the first line, put: Dear ( write your name here )

doodle

77

love letter.

Finding God in His Word

BY JENSEN AND KAMMY CHANG

H

ave you ever felt like God was far away? Like He’s distant and too important to concern himself with little ol’ you?

Do not worry, you are not alone in that thought process. The good news is that is not the truth. The truth is, God is closer than you think. He wants to have a relationship with you. One way you can find out about Him is through His Word, the Bible.

Like any relationship, it takes effort to get to know someone. You don’t just wake up and know everything there is to know about a person. Your walk with Jesus will be a lifelong journey and as you allow Him to shape and guide you, you will grow in your spiritual maturity. Life will have its up and downs, but He promises to “never leave you or forsake you.”

God knows everything about you!

However, like any growing relationship, you will need to invest time and effort in getting to know Him. “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” JOHN 1:1 NIV God can be found through His Word because He is the Word. The Bible is not just a compilation of stories, poems, or songs, it is God-breathed. Yes, the Bible is full of amazing godly principles and wisdom that will guide you through life, but He is the main character of the Bible!

And guess what? You are in there too! So, I challenge you to approach your reading of the Word with a fresh curiosity to discover all of God and all of you.

78

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Tips for Getting Started • Come with expectation. Expect that God will speak to you. What are you hoping to discover from the passages you read?

• Talk with God. Ask the Lord to speak to you through His Word. Ask Him to give you a love and hunger for His Word. God’s Word is alive and a means of knowing God as He speaks through His word.

• Make it a habit. Schedule a time to read His Word daily when you will have the energy to focus and be alert. Maybe you’re an early riser or a night owl. Whatever time you choose, commit to read daily at the same time every day. You can start off with just five minutes a day and increase that time as you go. However, it’s not about checking off a ‘to do’ box. Know that God isn’t giving out gold stars for perfect attendance—the goal is to continually learn and grow!

• Find a quiet, comfortable space.

Create an atmosphere and ambiance for God to speak to you.

Rid yourself of any distractions.

Turn off your smartphone or place it in another room so you won’t be tempted to check your phone while reading.

• Have a journal or notebook handy.

You may want to take some notes or jot down personal reflections.

You may also be inspired to draw or sketch something that comes to mind after reading.

• Pick a Bible translation you can understand: There are many great

Bible translations to choose from.

Pick a translation that is easy for you to understand and follow.

Popular versions are the NIV, or NLT. Reading multiple versions can give you insights if you are doing deeper study.

• Meditate on a verse or passage that especially speaks to you.

Sometimes less is more. It’s not quantity of reading we are after just for the sake of knowledge, but quality of reading. (Hebrews 4:12) • Underline verses that stand out to you. Grab a highlighter or pen to note words that stick out to you.

This can help you pay attention to what you’re reading.

• Apply it! After reading, ask the Lord, “What are you speaking to me?

How can I apply this to my life?”

• Start somewhere! You can choose a book of the Bible and read one or more passages.

If you need some structure, find a Bible reading plan that works for you. The gospels help you to get to know Jesus. The book of Psalms can help connect to your heart emotions and instill hope, comfort, and trust in you. The Bible stories in the Old and New Testament are full of life lessons and fascinating historical events revealing how great God is. Be led of God’s Spirit as well, as sometimes the Lord may impress on your heart to read a certain book.

HEARING GOD’S VOICE Connect with God through the Holy Spirit

BY MICHELE OKIMURA

H

ave you ever ‘heard’ God’s voice speak to you?

Our King, Creator of the universe, Father and Friend, wants to communicate to YOU! Prayer is talking to God and listening to what He wants to share. God is not distant, although truth be told, sometimes it may feel like He is. He wants to be actively involved in your life and be your helper, guide, encourager, and much more! A relationship with God involves two-way interactions. A relationship that only involves a oneway conversation is not a close one. God desires an intimate relationship with you, His Delight!

When Jesus ascended to heaven after He rose from the dead, the Holy Spirit was sent to dwell with and within believers. The Holy Spirit is a person not a mystical ‘thing’! He is the one who interacts with us while here on earth!

Learning to hear God’s voice takes practice knowing that we won’t get it perfectly right each time - so have patience. We all make mistakes as we grow! I believe God is thrilled when we seek to know Him and His voice.

Ask the Lord to help you recognize when He is speaking to you. Remember that He is a loving God who has many kind, positive thoughts towards you as mentioned in Psalm 139. He will never tell you to do anything that contradicts His biblical ways of truth, love, and grace. God may also confirm His message to you through more than one

avenue to encourage you that you are hearing right.

Begin each day with an expectation that God will speak to you. God is full of surprises—even if it is a whisper from His heart to yours!

WAYS THAT GOD SPEAKS

The Holy Spirit can speak to us through a variety of creative ways! Here are just some of those ways: Through the Bible: As you read the Bible, ask the Lord to speak to your heart and teach you of His ways!

A thought that enters your mind: Sometimes God’s voice is experienced like a thought in your mind that can easily be mistaken for your own thoughts.

Example: One day, I had a random thought, “Call Maggie and see how she is doing.” Maggie was a friend of mine who I hadn’t talked to in a while. So

79

I called and had a nice quick chat. Later, she confessed that she had been extremely depressed and was about to commit suicide when I called. She shared that my phone call had so encouraged her, that she decided not to kill herself. I had no idea! That was God for sure! I know this is a dramatic story, but my point is, pay attention to the thoughts that come to you, especially when praying! Sometimes the Lord may plant a thought in you unexpectedly as well. If possible, test it out!

I replied, “Well, I think God wants you to know that He knows you and loves you.”

A picture or vision: God has blessed you with the ability to ‘see’ in your mind. Try this. Close your eyes and imagine an apple sitting in the middle of a table.

Through nature: If something catches your attention while looking at nature—like a tree, a mountain, a horse, or a rock—take a moment and ask the Lord, “Is there anything you want to speak to me through this scene (or object)?”

Now, close your eyes again and visualize the apple on the table being cut into eight pieces. What you just saw in your mind is a vision. In that same place in your brain that you can see a picture or a mini video, God can speak to you by giving you a picture and/or a vision. He may even give you a picture or vision of a word or words.

If you ever ‘see’ a picture or a vision in your mind, ask God to explain it to you—to interpret what you are ‘seeing.’ If you don’t ‘hear’ any message, then just tuck that away for possible future reference!

Example: One time I was talking with a guy I never met before at a gathering. We were talking about random things. While he was talking, I silently asked God, “Lord, is there anything you want me to tell this person?”

Suddenly I saw a vision of Jesus dressed in a deep-sea diving suit diving towards a treasure chest at the bottom of the sea. LOL! It was funny seeing Jesus dressed like that!

I asked God silently, “Lord, what does this mean?”

Thoughts came to mind, “Tell him that he is such a treasure to me, that I would search the oceans deep to find him!”

So, I mustered the courage (because I didn’t even know if he knew God) and awkwardly shared, “You may think this is strange, but sometimes I sense God telling me something. I want to share something with you to see if it might mean something to you.” I then shared the vision and message I thought may be from God. His eyes got really big and he shared, “Wow. My greatest passion is deep sea diving. In fact, I travel all over the world to deep sea dive to seek for treasures whenever I can take time off from work!”

80

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

He then said, “I used to go to church before. I think I’ll start going to church again!”

God had spoken—although I did risk being wrong and him thinking I was a crazy, but I took the chance and it was God after all! Whew! Yay God!

Example: One time I came across this enormous banyan tree. I couldn’t help but admire it. I asked the Lord, “Is there anything you want to share with me about this tree?” I waited and listened. In my thoughts, I heard, “I am like this tree to you. I give you shade when you need to rest. I give you protection from the heat and trials of life. This tree has deep roots, so it is extremely stable. You are secure in me. Trust me.” Tears filled my eyes. I really needed that comfort from God! Through a song: Ever hear a song that really spoke to your situation or verbalized your feelings? God can speak to your heart through the lyrics of a song!

Through a movie: Open your heart when you are watching a movie—sometimes God can speak to you something through a movie scene.

Through people: God can speak through people— through a sermon, a podcast, or through a conversation with someone. I have found when it comes to wanting guidance and counsel, it is safe and wise to consider what godly, mature mentors have to say.

Through circumstances: In life, we go through all kinds of up and down situations. You can ask God questions such as, “What are you trying to tell me or teach me through this? What are you trying to change in me through this?

How do YOU see this situation? What are you trying to grow in me?” Wait on the Lord and trust He will speak to you—even if it takes some time.

“How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand…”

PSALM 139:17-18 NIV

81

Your Good, Good Father.

Connect to His Heart for You!

As you follow the Lord, there are countless ways your Heavenly Father is there for you 24/7.

•

How about picking one attribute per day or week to meditate on and soak in! Thank God for being who He is for you. As you do, you will connect to the heart of God towards you!

•

You can look up the Bible verses provided in different translations.

•

You can add to the list of God’s attributes and search for more Bible verses for each.

THE FOLLOWING A-Z LIST CAN GET YOU STARTED!

A - ADVOCATE: God is for you!

H - HEALER: God is in

V - VICTORIOUS: God is a

B - BURDEN BEARER:

PSALM 30:2

I PETER 5:7

I - INTERCEDER: Jesus is always praying for you!

P - PEACE: God is your

W - WATCHFUL: God

JOHN 14:27

PSALM 121:1-8

Q - QUICK: God’s Word

X - EXCELLENT: God is

K - KING: He is the

HEBREWS 4:12 KJV

PSALM 8:1 NKJV

E - ENCOURAGER:

I TIMOTHY 1:17

R - RESTING PLACE: God

is your Resting Place for refreshment and renewal.

Y - ‘YAHOO!’:

DEUTERONOMY 31:6

to your voice -even a whispered prayer!

God carries your burdens.

C - COMFORTER:

God embraces you with His comfort.

ISAIAH 49:13

ROMANS 8:34

J - JOY: God is the source of your joy. He also has a sense of humor!

D - DELIVERER: God is

PSALM 16:11

PSALM 18:2

King of Kings!

your mighty Deliverer.

God cheers you on.

F - FORGIVER:

He is forgiving and merciful towards you.

PSALM 86:5

G - GIVER: He is a

generous God who loves to bless you.

MATTHEW 7:7-11

L - LISTENER: God listens PSALM 66:19

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Peace and gives you supernatural peace.

is alive and quick to move upon our hearts.

PSALM 23:2-3

S - SHEPHERD: He is your

Shepherd who guides you.

M - MIGHTY: God is all-

ISAIAH 58:11

PSALM 147:5

of confusing lies, God is your Truth and Light.

powerful and mighty.

N - NEVER FAILING:

God is faithful and will never leave you.

PSALM 117:2

82

O - OPEN DOOR:

God opens your eyes of understanding and opens doors! MATTHEW 7:7-8

I JOHN 2:1

the business of healing and restoring.

T - TRUTH: In a world full JOHN 14:6

U - UNDERSTANDING: No one in the universe knows you and understands you more. PSALM 139:1-6

victorious Overcomer. Pray from a place of victory.

JOHN 16:33

constantly watches over you with a caring heart.

excellent in all His ways and is a God of excellence.

God celebrates, rejoices, sings, and dances over you with delight!

ZEPHANIAH 3:17 NASB

(The more accurate Hebrew translation of the last verse means to dance, skip, leap, and spin over you with joy.

Consider God’s deep love for you in this light!)

Z - ZEALOUS: God has

a passionate love for you.

EPHESIAN 3:17-19

thirsty.

What are you thirsty for?

Longings and desires deep within us emerge to seek a path of fulfillment like the waters of a bubbling spring find a pathway to flow. But where will the paths you choose take you?

When you connect heart to heart with the Lord, He gives you Living Water that satisfies.

“As the deer pants for the water brooks, So pants my soul for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God..”.

Psalm 42:1-2 NKJV

“but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.

Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

John 4:14 NIV

83

She R

84

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E RESTS

“The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.

He lets me rest in green meadows;

he leads me beside peaceful streams.

He renews my strength...”

PSALM 23:1-3 NLT

JOU RN EY 01 • CHAPTER 07

Rests.

85

the rhythm of rest.

Fast. Fast. And fast! Sometimes, life can so busy and fast paced!

This principle of rest is also listed in the 10 Commandments!

Rest. Yeah...but when am I going to find time to do that? And how much is too much rest when things gotta get done?

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work…”

How do we slow down in a sometimes fast-paced world with school, family obligations, time with friends and activities? The answer is not always easy. God values rest and desires for us to make the time to restore and refresh.

God created the world and the living things in it within the 6 days of Creation. On the 7th day, He rested.

God always does things on purpose intentionally and wanted to set an example for us.

Our goal is to become more and more like Jesus, our model. Jesus was in high demand during His three years of ministry! Crowds followed him, and he served people much of the time.

However, Jesus also assertively made time boundaries! He would take time out to rest and instructed his disciples to join him.

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, He said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31

EXODUS 20:8-10 NIV

Did you ever wonder why God commanded His people to rest as opposed to making a suggestion?

Taking time out to rest is often not something that many of us naturally make time to do. To rest means we have to trust God to take care of our cares and concerns.

Rest allows our body, mind, soul, and spirit to renew, refresh, and be restored so we can approach our life once again with renewed energy, strength, and focus.

HERE ARE SOME ‘REST-FULL’ ACTIVITIES YOU CAN START DOING TODAY! •

Plan a time of quiet that includes conversations with God, journaling, worshiping, reading, and meditating on God’s Word and truths. Connecting with the Lord in such ways will fill you with renewed peace and strength.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you.

Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” MATTHEW 11:28-30 NLT

•

Carve out regular time to rest that is unplanned and unstructured—a time to rest your brain and body.

•

Plan a time for recreational rest!

What do you like to do for fun?

What activities do you enjoy doing that does not require a lot of mental and emotional energy?

•

Plan times to be in nature. Being in God’s beautiful creation refreshes us physically, mentally, and emotionally. For example, you could take a walk, lie down and watch the clouds, watch the sunset, hike, or swim in the ocean or lake.

•

How about sitting or lying down in silence daily for 3-5 minutes?

Taking a moment to rest your mind can require effort but can give you a moment of rest for your brain and body.

•

There must be a reason why God wants us to rest one day out of seven. God created the Sabbath rest to benefit us. Aim to enter into a restful place once a week to refresh, following God’s design for us to thrive and be healthy!

Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.”

88

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

MARK 2:27 NIV

Don’t forget to

breathe.

breathe.

breathe again.

PEACE IN HIS PRESENCE Did you know that deep breathing actually can calm you down? It can help clear your mind and give your brain a reset.

We rarely use our full lung capacity when we breathe normally. Deep breathing gives our body a good dose of the much needed oxygen that our bodies need to thrive.

TRY THIS RIGHT NOW: 1. Find a comfortable position.

2. Close your eyes.

3. Put one hand gently on your heart and other on your belly. Take a slow deep breathe for about 3-4 seconds, inhaling through your nose. Your belly, not your chest, should expand.

4. Exhale slowly for 6-7 seconds through your mouth.

5. Repeat a few to several times depending how you feel.

Try doing deep breathing at least once to a few times throughout the day and see how you feel, especially when you are stressed!

TIP: You can practice deep breathing when you are waiting for someone or something or to simply to take a brief break from doing your homework or an activity!

TRY THIS ACTIVITY: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

Find a place where you can be alone and rest, preferably in a lying down position.

Play some peaceful instrumental music.

Take 3 deep breaths, slowly exhaling. Imagine breathing in God’s Presence and Life.

Invite the Lord to speak to you.

Try to empty your mind and be in listening mode.

Just rest and relax for several minutes.

Pay attention to thoughts, pictures or visions that pop into your mind. Don’t’ analyze, just keep focusing on the Lord.

If a picture or vision pops into your mind, ask the Lord what it means and be open to God thoughts.

8. Journal what you receive.

Hearing God’s voice takes practice and is a process. It is ok if you are not sure if it’s God or not. He will reveal Himself if you earnestly seek Him! If your mind is blank and you do not ‘receive’ anything, that is ok! Just enjoy resting your body, mind, soul, and spirit in God. This can be a great activity to do daily—whether it be for just 5 minutes or longer!

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” - Matthew 11:28 NLT

89

resting in nature

There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature— the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.”

RACHEL CARSON

T

here are numerous times in His Word that God refers to things in nature such as trees, the ocean waves, flowers, and various animals to communicate a message. His creation reveals His power, creativity, majesty, glory and love!

A main way that God refreshes, restores, and nourishes our soul is through nature. As we soak in the beauty of His creation through the sights, sounds, smells and our sense of touch, God speaks and reveals Himself. Just being in nature surroundings can help reduce stress and anxiety and give us a sense of peace in His Presence.

For example, going on a hike, swimming in the ocean, or going on a boat ride can refresh our minds and reset our emotions.

Take time to soak in nature moments as a regular habit!

Take time to smell the roses, so to speak!

90

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous, your handmade sky-jewelry, Moon and stars mounted in their settings…”

Psalm 8:3 MSG

Are you a mountain person or an ocean person?

Where is your favorite place to be outdoors?

As you envision this place, describe the view, the sounds, the smells in this place that you love:

Why does this particular place bring you peace?

ACTIVITY Take a walk with your smartphone or camera. It could be around your neighborhood, at a park or even at your school.

Ask the Lord to highlight something in nature and take a photo of it. It could be a tree, a rock, a flower, a puddle of water— something in nature. When you have time, spend some quiet time looking at the photo you took and ask the Lord what He wants to communicate to you about that nature scene. Pay attention to thoughts and impressions that come to you.

Write your thoughts below: I took a photo of a What I sensed the Lord speak to me about what the photo represents:

Make it a practice that when you are in nature and something is highlighted to you or grabs your attention, ask the Lord what He might be saying to you through what your eyes are feasting on or what your ears are hearing.

91

M IND F UL LET T ERING Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

92

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

S PA C E TO P RAC T IC E, D RAW, OR JOURNAL :

she is Brave & Beautiful you!

She Expresses.

She Connects.

She Rests.

CHOOSE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS STEPS: 1.

Be a flavor. You are unique! Discovering your likes and dislikes can develop your voice in this world.

3.

Pick two questions from below—one from the DISLIKES list and one from LIKES list. Journal your answers.

Have a conversation with someone you know and ask them the same two questions you chose. Share your answers with one another and enjoy expressing yourselves!

• Take a regular powernap of 15 minutes in the afternoon (set your alarm) • Take a 10-15 minute walk outside each day • Take a relaxing bath

Dislikes:

• Turn off your phone for a designated period of time daily

•

What frustrates you often?

• Read a good book you enjoy

•

What is one thing you would change about your world?

•

What is one negative attribute that is upsetting to you and why? (like dishonesty, greed etc.)

Likes:

2.

Create your own rhythm of rest. Try these ideas and see what works for you:

•

What topic do you love to talk about and why?

•

What would you like to learn more about and why?

•

What do you love to do for fun and why?

Pick a time and place to talk to God every day for 5-10 minutes—it could be in the shower or while in bed. Tell Him what you are thinking, giving him your burdens. Then take time to listen.

4.

Put yourself in a posture to rest in God’s embrace and connect heart to heart with God. For such moments, your Father in Heaven loves having you all to Himself!

• Find a quiet place free from distractions and get into a comfortable position.

• Take 3 deep breathes and focus your mind on God pouring His love on you like a refreshing waterfall.

Give Him this moment to love on you.

• Try not to think of anything and rest your entire being for 3-5 minutes.

“Be still, and know that I am God!…”

PSALM 46:10 NLT

1-888-373-7888 94

TOLL-FREE HOTLINE | 24/7 CONFIDENTIAL

Get Help Report Trafficking

Action Steps

YOU GO GIRL! LET’S WALK IT OUT. ••

95

SHE IS BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY 01 • PAGE 10~15

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 1.

What does it mean to be brave? Describe what being brave means to you.

2.

Who is someone you know personally or know of who is brave? Why did you pick him/her?

3.

What does it mean to be beautiful? Describe what being beautiful means to you.

4.

Who is someone you personally know or know of who you would describe as a beautiful person? Why?

5.

Would you describe yourself as brave? Why or why not?

6.

When have you displayed a level of courage?

7.

Would you describe yourself as beautiful? Why or why not?

8.

Let's believe God sees you as beautiful. Knowing beauty goes beyond outward appearances, what is one situation where you displayed your beauty?

ACTIVITY Brave & Beautiful Walk About Instructions: 1.

Explain that the group will go on a short walk outside.

2.

As they are walking, each of them is to ask the Lord to highlight an object, a plant, a person, or something in nature they see that represents bravery or communicates bravery.

3.

Explain that God can speak creatively through nature or an object to remind us of His truths!

Share verse Joshua 1:9 NIV: “…Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

One of God’s greatest encouragements is to be brave in Him! He is with us!

4.

When something catches their eye, they are to ask the Lord how that particular thing speaks of bravery. They will be sharing with the group what comes to mind.

5.

Each girl is to let you know when she made her choice and is ready to share her related message about bravery. (*You can share an example such as: “I saw a bird’s nest in the tree. To me, I realize it takes courage for the baby bird to take its first leap out of the nest to fly for the first time. Even though it is their instinct, it still is a risk and takes some courage. I need courage to spread my wings to fly into my unknown future.”)

6.

1A

When each girl in the group lets you know she has something to share, have the group stop and listen to what she has to say while looking at what was highlighted to her. *Each person must have a turn to share their particular object, plant, or scenery that speaks bravery and courage to them.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

7.

Take a walk and do the activity, making sure everyone, including you as a leader, shares something.

8.

After everyone has shared their bravery mini-message, now have everyone ask the Lord to highlight something beautiful and have them share in the same way as before.

9.

Have each share how their choice (object, plant, person, nature scene) is a great representation of beauty. Remind them that God loves beauty and is a beautiful God Himself!

Share Psalm 27:4 NIV: “One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.”

10. Have a fun time of sharing and being creative, gleaning profound mini-messages from each other!

ADDITIONAL ACTIVITIES 1.

Using magazines, have the girls make a collage of images and words that express bravery and beauty. Encourage them to put this collage in a place where they can be reminded to aspire to express their bravery and beauty to this world!

2.

Have each girl stand and declare, "I am BRAVE AND BEAUTIFUL!" Have the rest of the group applaud and cheer that person in response, celebrating and affirming that statement. It may be difficult for a girl with a low view of herself to say it, but this can give them a positive experience declaring their worth!

3.

Have each girl decorate a large smooth landscape rock with a paint pen, writing “I am brave and beautiful! They can use this as a constant reminder of who they are, and they can work on embracing this belief about their value.

NOTES

1B

SHE DISCOVERS

JOURNEY 01 • PAGE 16~29

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 1.

Refer to page 21. Take turns sharing your answers to all the questions: - What builds you up?

- What is that one thing that gives you energy?

- What do you have fun doing?

- What are the 3 top things you value?

2.

Read the poem on page 28. These are true statements for each one of you, so perhaps you will discover a new way of looking at yourself that you never considered before. Which 2 or 3 statements do you find were highlighted to you.

- Why do you think those lines stood out to you?

- Which statement do you find difficult believing about yourself and why do you think that is so?

3.

What is something you are discovering about yourself?

ACTIVITIES IMPORTANT PIECE GAME Materials Needed: • Children's jigsaw puzzles with 25 or 50 pieces (Puzzles can be put together fairly quickly in pairs or a group of 3-4.)

• (optional) Large handmade jigsaw puzzle piece prop • (optional) Prizes for teams for first place, second place and third place Instructions:

1C

1

Hold up a jigsaw puzzle piece or an enlarged handmade jigsaw puzzle prop as you reinforce with the girls that every one of them is unique and needed. Discuss how in a jigsaw puzzle, every single piece is needed to complete the picture. In a similar way, each one of them has something to contribute of value to the greater whole.

2

Have the girls form groups of 2-4 and give each team a 25-piece jigsaw puzzle to work on. They are to put their puzzle together when you say "Go!" The first team to complete their puzzle wins. Every team needs to complete their puzzle!

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

DISCOVERY PLATES Materials Needed: • Thin paper plates (Attach a string to each plate so the plate sits like a necklace around their neck—except flip the plate necklace so the plate lays on their back.)

• Pens for every person Instructions: 1.

Explain that sometimes we can DISCOVER something about ourselves by how others see us.

Sometimes other people can see the gold in us that we can't see. (Give an example from your personal life.)

2.

In this activity, first have the girls 'wear' their plate necklaces where the plate sits on their back.

3.

Explain that they are going to freely write a POSITIVE word, phrase or sentence on each other's plates affirming positive attributes about that person (demonstrate). Remind them that the words should all be encouraging and affirming! *If they do not know someone well enough to list a positive attribute, suggest that they ask the Lord to give them a positive word to write down. (examples: a positive word that come to mind as ‘courage,’ or ‘cheerful’)

4.

Explain that once they finish writing on one person's plate, then they are to find someone new who doesn't have anyone writing on their plate at that time. They are to write on someone's plate only once.

5.

As a facilitator, you can gauge when to end the activity. When done, have the girls remove the plate on their back and read their affirmations.

6.

Ask the teen girls, "What did you discover about how others see you?

Encourage the girls to keep their plates and reference the positive words to encourage themselves.

NOTES

1D

SHE ACCEPTS

JOURNEY 01 • PAGE 30~39

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS Read Galatians 6:4-5 and Galatians 5:26 in The Message Translation. In a large group or small group or in pairs, have the girls share: • • • • • • •

Why is it so hard to not compare yourself to others?

How do you think social media has promoted the comparison trap?

What are some things girls can say to themselves to get out of the comparison trap?

How has our culture promoted comparison—especially in physical appearance?

What do you notice about the girls you know in general, without naming names, about the areas of comparison they struggle with?

Do you have an easier time accepting others or accepting yourself? Why? If you feel comfortable, what areas of comparison do you struggle with? (end by praying for each other).

ACTIVITIES ACCEPTANCE GAME Materials Needed: • One blindfold for each pair of girls

• Paper • Pen/marker

• Copy of a list of objects for each team (sample list: happy face/tree/heart/bird/football/ chair/ stick figure/flower/sun/grapes/fish)

Instructions: 1.

Pair up the group and give each pair a blindfold, a paper, and a marker.

2.

Explain that one of them will be blindfolded and must draw a series of simple things that their partner will read off.

3.

The non-blindfolded person can give verbal advice but cannot draw the object. Despite the flaws they each have, they must work together.

4.

The team that finishes first wins and if there is a tie, the judge can determine which has the most accurate drawings to determine the winner.

5.

Post Activity Discussion Questions: Remind the girls that in this game, each partner had a handicap—a flaw that they couldn't do much about. One could not see and the other did not have use of their hands. Have the teen girls discuss the following questions: - How did they work together despite their flaws towards a solution?

- In what ways can it be deflating to not be able to change something about yourself that you want to change? (We all can have such thoughts at times. Maybe there are things about your physical appearance you wish you could change.)

1E

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

- There is the saying, “The grass always seems greener on the other side,” which may apply here.

Psalm 139:13-14 NIV says, “For You formed my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and I know this very well.” What does this verse mean to you?

- It can feel like an impossible task to live up to the expectations of the culture around us.

What are things we can do to accept ourselves more and how can we be gentle to ourselves in our weaknesses?

- Read aloud, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” – Ephesians 2:10 NLT. How does this verse help us to accept ourselves?

HEALTHY SELF LOVE

Materials Needed: • Paper and pen for each person Instructions: 1

Start off by sharing Jesus words in Matthew 27:39 NIV, Bold added for emphasis: Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

2.

Discuss the last verse that we must love others as we love ourselves! Surely God wants us to love others well with His love. Considering this, how much does God want us to love ourselves—not in a prideful, egotistical way, but in a genuine, healthy way?

3.

Discuss these questions in pairs or in groups of 3: - What does having a healthy self-love mean to you?

- What is one thing you like and value about yourself?

- What does it look like and sound like?

- In what ways do you show care for yourself?

4.

Have each person draw a large oval of their face on paper and sketch their hair only (no facial features).

5.

Next, have the girls write words about themselves on their blank face space, sharing what they like and value about themselves. (for example: friendly, responsible, caring, honest, strong, smart in math, etc.)

6.

Then have them go to a solitary place where they can pray privately and thank the Lord for creating them in these ways, thanking Him for each attribute.

7.

In addition, instruct the girls to ask the Lord to share with them words that He wants to add, representing what He loves and appreciates about them. They are to write down what comes to them.

8.

Encourage the participants to keep this sheet as a gentle reminder to accept themselves and to not compare themselves to others.

1F

SHE BELIEVES

JOURNEY 01 • PAGE 40~55

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

Some people care very much about what others think of them. Sometimes our culture, our temperament, or upbringing can affect how we see ourselves. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being you really care about what others think of you, where are you right now?

•

What are the pros and cons of depending on what others think of you? How does social media affect you or others you know in the area of self-value and self-worth?

•

To hear that God views you as valuable and priceless is one thing, but to BELIEVE it in your heart can be another story. What are some of the hindrances to believing you are who God says you are? What is your take away from Nancy Vuu's article on pages 44-45?

ACTIVITIES ART WITH A PURPOSE

Materials Needed: • Laptop/phone to look up famous quotes or Bible verses to affirm girls’ value and identity in Christ • Scrapbooking materials (i.e. printed paper, embellishments, glue, glue sticks, stickers) • Printer • Paper to print out the quote or Bible verse each girl picked • Scissors • Cardstock sheet for each girl • (optional) inexpensive acrylic frames to frame the project

Instructions:

1G

1.

Ideally, have each girl prepare ahead of time and come with a printed favorite quote or Bible verse affirming their value and worth, or prepare and provide printed quotes and Bible verses to choose from.

2.

Have each girl create their own art using scrapbooking paper and materials that embellish the quote or Bible verse they chose.

3.

Have a time of sharing at the end of the activity where each girl shares why they chose that quote or Bible verse.

4.

As an option, you can provide inexpensive acrylic clear frames or simply have them put their artwork up on their bedroom wall or someplace where they can read it out loud often!

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

I AM STATEMENTS

Materials Needed: • An XXL inexpensive t-shirt with negative words written on it (i.e. dumb, ugly, freak, stupid, trash, worthless, a mistake, junk, etc.) using a sharpie marker • Another XXL shirt with positive words of affirmation written on it (i.e. beautiful, brave, chosen, amazing, worthy, good enough, lovable, etc.)

• Paper • Pens Instructions: 1.

Have a volunteer come up front and put on the negative shirt over their clothes.

2.

Discuss how in life people can label us negatively and sometimes we can label ourselves too.

Read out loud many of the negative words.

3.

Explain how such labels and negative words can soon become core beliefs that we may not even be fully aware of. Our choices and reactions in life are deeply influenced by such beliefs.

Share how these are lies that the enemy of our soul wants us to believe to destroy us and cause us harm in life. Discuss how such negative beliefs can prevent us from making healthy choices and can harm our relationships.

4.

Discuss how on the other hand, God created us as magnificent creations, masterpieces in our own right!

5.

Have the volunteer take off the negative shirt and put on the positive shirt. Now discuss how we are to put on the new and clothe ourselves on the inside and out, with the truth of who we are in Christ.

Read aloud the positive words on the positive shirt.

6.

Pass out a paper and pen to each person. Have them write at least five I AM statements that are positive of who God says they are. Have a time of sharing their statements in small groups of 2-3.

7.

Encourage the girls to pray for one another to BELIEVE the positive truths they wrote about.

AFFIRMATION ACTIVITY Instructions: 1.

Have girls stand in a circle holding hands. Play relaxing music if you can. Have girls close their eyes and repeat after you. Altogether, read aloud the affirmations, repeating after you: - “I am a new creation; the old me has been stripped away."

- "I am able to live the victorious life He has provided for me."

- "I am His workmanship created in Christ Jesus and prepared for good works He has planned for me."

- "I am able to do all things He calls me to."

2.

Close in prayer with the group or have girls break into pairs to pray together.

1H

SHE EXPRESSES

JOURNEY 01 • PAGE 58~69

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

In general, on a scale of 1-10, 1 meaning strongly disagree and 10 meaning you strongly agree, what do you believe about your voice being worthy to be heard?

•

There are seven ways the article on pages 60-61 lists to express yourself. Which one of the seven most resonates with you? Why?

•

Do you believe journaling regularly will benefit you in expressing yourself? Share what your experience has been in journaling your thoughts, ideas, and feelings.

•

After doing the activities on pages 64-65, what was one take-away you had? Consider sharing one of the high or low moments in your life, how you felt and any lesson(s) you may have learned.

•

Looking at what you've written on page 67, what is one attribute you want to work on clothing yourself with? Why?

•

What is one take-away you had from the article The Power of Words on page 68-69?

ACTIVITIES PHOTO EXPRESSIONS Materials Needed: • Smartphone for each person (for taking pictures) Instructions:

1I

1.

Discuss briefly how people can express themselves through so many ways! How we think and how we communicate who we are can be a very creative, expressive process!

2.

Explain that as a group, we will take a walk. While on the walk, they can feel free to take photos of things that they are drawn to—close ups or pics of scenery—anything they are drawn to. *If a park is nearby, you can have the group freely wander about taking photos for about 15 minutes.

3.

After taking photos, have the group gather back together and have them pick their favorite photo that expresses something they want to share. It could be a reflection they have or an encouragement they want to give to others.

4.

Have each share with the group the photo they chose and what is it they want to express to the group about their photo.

5.

Celebrate the creativity and uniqueness of each person!

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

NOTEBOOK (OR BOX) COLLAGE Materials Needed: • Clear strapping tape

• Glue and scissors

• Magazines and/or newspapers

• Blank paper

• (optional) Premade printed positive words and graphics of things that girls can pick from to represent who they are

• Hardcover composition notebook or a box with cover (shoe box size) for each person (can be purchased from craft stores or online)

• (optional) Label or paper with each girl's name on it

Instructions: 1.

Explain that words and images can express who we are—our identity in Christ, our likes and passions, activities we love to do, and more. Explain that they should select, cut, and glue words and images that represent them and make a collage on the front cover of their hardcover composition notebook.

If they want to, they can use the blank paper to write something they want to add or write their favorite Bible verse to be included. *If using a plain box, they can cover the entire cover of the box.

2.

When done, they should cover their collage with clear strapping postal tape to protect their artwork and create a laminating effect. They can use the notebook for a journal or for a specific purpose of their choice. If they have designed a box cover, they can use their box to store cards they have received and knickknacks that are precious to them—or for another purpose.

3.

Have the girls share their notebooks with each other so they can learn more about each other as classmates or friends. This gives each an opportunity to express themselves creatively. Compliment them on a job well done.

ADDITIONAL ACTIVITIES 1.

Discuss in pairs or small groups: - What is the value of honoring one another's voices and expressions vs. being quick to criticize or judge within the group.

- Discuss how we must acknowledge that it is a vulnerable act to step out and express oneself.

2.

Refer to the article, “Seven Ways to Express You.” Pick any theme such as ‘brave’ or ‘beautiful.’ Have the girls choose one of the seven ways to express that theme and make it their project. Have a time of sharing these projects in small groups or the entire class. Make sure to create a culture of celebrating one another's bravery and vulnerability in expressing themselves!

3.

Have each girl reflect on one issue in their world that they care about or are passionate about. For example: homelessness, art, animal rescue, the rise in suicide, or health. Have each girl write a blog style message about it that can be shared with the rest of the group. Celebrate each expression! After each girl reads her blog, she is to stand up and declare, "I have an important voice!" After each girl declares this, instruct the rest of the group to respond by applauding and cheering for them. This will help create a supportive culture in the group.

1J

SHE CONNECTS

JOURNEY 01 • PAGE 70~83

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

We can often put walls around our hearts to protect ourselves—maybe from hurt or disappointment.

Are you aware of any walls you tend to have? If so, if you are willing to share, what walls of selfprotection do you have? (As a leader, you can share from your life as well.)

•

How does it feel to understand that the only One who can parent perfectly is your good, good Father God who is safe, kind, patient, compassionate, all-wise, and powerful?

•

Read the poem Fathered on page 72 and select a line that touches your mind and heart. Share how and why it resonates with you.

ACTIVITIES HOW HE SEES ME

Materials Needed: • Pen, optional colored pencils

• Journal or piece of paper

Instructions:

1K

1.

Have the girls ask the Lord how He sees them. Encourage them by emphasizing that Father God has good and loving things to share with them!

2.

Remind the girls that this is an activity to practice learning how to hear God’s voice—and many times He drops a thought or picture into our minds eye! Tell them to go with what first pops into their mind, even though they may not fully understand it at first. Explain that a picture of an object, plant, animal, or highlighted word may come to mind. Encourage them to NOT analyze it.

3.

Spend about 1-2 minutes in silence with their eyes closed as they try to clear their mind and receive a picture or word that pops into their mind.

4.

Have the girls sketch the picture they see or write down the word that popped into their mind.

5.

Instruct the girls to ask the Lord to explain to them WHY He sees them in that particular way. Have the girls journal what comes to mind in their thoughts.

6.

Have a time of sharing what they got and pray for one another along the lines of the picture or word that person received from the Lord. The other group members may have additional insights and positive interpretations they can add to build up their fellow group member.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

JOURNAL Materials Needed: • Brave and Beautiful Magazine • Journal • Stationary (for letters, or girls can use their journal) • Color pencils, fine line color markers, color pens • Peaceful, Instrumental worship music • Music player/speaker

Journaling Ideas: 1.

In your journal, create a 'Gratitude list' by listing everything you are grateful for. It can be as small as the shoes you wear to the warm sunshine on your face every day.

2.

Write a love letter to God. (You can use scripture as a springboard.)

3.

Write a prayer for your parents. It could include but not limited to praises, desires, needs, direction, blessings, and strength. Share your letter with the group if you feel led.

4.

In your journal, draw a large heart that fills the page. Quietly ponder/meditate on how your heart is connected to God's love for you. Doodle images that fill your heart as you are inspired.

NOTES

1L

SHE RESTS

JOURNEY 01 • PAGE 84~94

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

What consumes most of your waking hours, and are these activities healthy for your mind and heart?

Why or why not? What can you change to make healthy choices with your time?

•

It is recommended that children ages 6 to 12 need 9 - 12 hours of sleep and ages 13 to 18 need 8 - 10 hours. How much sleep do you average a night? Are you getting enough sleep to support your health?

If you get the average recommended hours, think about, and share one way you can get a good night's rest. If you are getting below the recommended hours of sleep per night, share an action step you can take to increase your sleep hours.

•

Share your favorite down time activity and how it helps you to rest.

•

Read aloud Philippians 4:6-7. What does this scripture mean to you today?

Does it bring comfort or confusion? Spend time accepting each response while giving encouraging words.

•

Complete the statement: "When I can't sleep, I..."

ACTIVITIES REST AND RELAX

Materials Needed: • Towels/blankets/pillows to lie on • Peaceful worship instrumental music (available through YouTube or various apps) • Music player/speaker Instructions:

1M

1.

Have girls find comfortable positions to rest. They can sit, lay down, rest on a table, or just find a comfortable position sitting in a chair.

2.

Play the music prepared.

3.

Discuss: How or what did you feel during this session? What did you see, feel, hear? Was this a positive refreshing activity? If so, how so?

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

MINI PEACE / REST GARDEN Materials Needed: • Garden base options: cookie tin, shoe box lid, plastic food container, old cookie sheet (small size), picture frame with back, etc.

• Small rocks and fine sand (can be bought or found outside) • A "gardening design tool" (such as a skewer, fork, toothpick, thin make-up brush) • Additional detail items such as small air plants, shells, figurines, etc.

• Peaceful instrumental worship music • Music player/speaker Instructions: 1.

Have each girl bring a box or lid of any kind, some rocks, fine sand, and a skewer or toothpick.

2.

You may wish to supply or have them bring additional items like: small air plants, shells, tiny ceramic figurines, etc.

3.

Provide time for the girls to spend creating their own personal peace/rest gardens. Remind them that it is designed to quiet their minds to be able to focus on restoring their peace.

4.

Remind the girls that when they are done designing, they may spend quiet time with soaking/ instrumental music drawing patterns in the sand, focusing on their breath, releasing any judgments and worries.

JOURNAL Materials Needed: • Journal

• Bible

• Brave & Beautiful Magazine

Instructions: 1.

Have the girls journal about a burden in their life that prevents them from being able to rest and restore. Give suggestions if needed: work, school, family, friends, neighbors, sports, extra-curricular activities, hunger, etc.

2.

Ask girls to write an explanation of what their burden/problem is.

3.

When they are done, have girls read the first bullet under 'Rest-full' activities on page 88 of their Brave & Beautiful book. Have them read Matthew 11:28-30 in multiple versions of the Bible.

4.

After they are done, have them return to their journals and ask God what he wants to share with them about their burdens. Give them time to be quiet and to write.

5.

Discuss whether or not their perspective on the burden changed after reading Matthew and listening to God. If it did change, how did it change?

1N

GROW IN CONFIDENCE. KNOW YOUR IDENTITY.

2

urney

FOR GIRLS OF FAITH

The leaves on the covers of our Brave & Beautiful Series represent the leaves from the tree of life that are for the healing of the nations. We pray this Brave & Beautiful Journey will bring healing and life to you as well as to the nations of the world.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL Copyright © 2022 Releasing Generations Published by Releasing Generations Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

All articles, art, and photographs have been published and printed with the permission of their creators.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations from The Authorized (King James) Version. Rights in the Authorized Version in the United Kingdom are vested in the Crown. Reproduced by permission of the Crown’s patentee, Cambridge University Press.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version®.

Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the Holy Scriptures, Tree of Life Version*. Copyright © 2014,2016 by the Tree of Life Bible Society.

Used by permission of the Tree of Life Bible Society.

Art Direction and Graphic Design: Ahava Design, LLC. Photos by Unsplash and Pixabay.

BRAVEANDBEAUTIFUL.WORLD Brave & Beautiful is a publication created by Explicit Movement, a Christian faith-based movement that heals and empowers youth and young adults to walk in sexual integrity and healthy relationships as they embrace their God-given identity and God's beautiful design for sex. We provide faith-based resources that equip youth, young adults, parents, and church leaders to have conversations concerning healthy dating and navigating sexuality issues with confidence, leading the way for young people to thrive in relationships.

CREDITS COVER Floral pattern: Maria Galybina. 3 Photography by Luminous: Emily Ganiko and Dreamstime. 24 Photography: AmericanReject.movie 55 CDC study description from: About the CDC - Kaiser ACE Study: cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/about. CDC quote on linking to brain development and chronic healthy problems: November, 2019, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) Preventing early trauma to improve adult healthy: cdc.gov/vitalsigns/aces/index.html. Descriptions of ACES from: ncjfcj.org/publications/finding-your-ace-score/.ncjfcj.org/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/FindingYour-Ace-Score.pdf. 78 By @nataliaandreichenko1384

WELCOME BACK TO

Brave & Beautiful — vol.2

REAL TRUTH. REAL LOVE. 3

••

Bave  Beauful Jurney

Sh

eR e l e ases ••

Sh eB

e li e ev

s

c o v

e r s •• She Accepts ••

i D ifu l •• S h e

eE •• x p re s s e s

ut

s

4

••

Journey 01

e

&

a e B

Sh

B ra ve

Journey 02

10

SHE IS BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

8

SHE RELEASES

16

SHE DISCOVERS

20

SHE TRUSTS

30 SHE ACCEPTS

28

SHE CRIES

40 SHE BELIEVES

40

SHE BLOOMS

58 SHE EXPRESSES

50

SHE PERSEVERES

70 SHE CONNECTS

58

SHE PROTECTS

84 SHE RESTS

68

SHE SPARKLES

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

re

••

She s

Sh

e

s

Sh

e

Co

nne

cts •• She Re sts

he Celeb •• She Sparkles •• S ra te

C

he s •• S

••

Sh

eP

Pro

t e c ts

A

es

Journey 03

Journey 04 Listen

8

10

PORNOGRAPHY

20 SHE LOVES

16

SEXUAL ABUSE & TRAUMA

30 SHE GIVES

32

SEX TRAFFICKING

40 SHE DREAMS

50

VOICES OF FREEDOM

48 SHE CREATES

58

HOPE RISING

SHE CELEBRATES

e

r e a te

She Bloom •• s

ri s

Sh

es

eC ri

e m s •• S h

Sh

D re a

s

ves •• She Give o L e s • Sh • ••

She Lstens!

56 SHE ARISES 5

er

ve se

VOLUME 02 – PART 1

She She She

Releases Trusts Cries

how’s your heart?

“You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart— put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.”

MATTHEW 5:8 MSG

H

ow is your soul doing? What is going on in your inner world?

We are so much deeper, wider, and multifaceted than what the eye can see.

For some of us, fashion and make-up and pedicures can be a fun way to express our own unique style and flair!

Yet, ponder how much time and money we invest on our improving what is on the inside.

Caring how we appear to the world is not a ‘bad’ thing, but do we ever take a

6

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

look at what is on our inside and invest in our own soul health? Our soul is made up of our mind, will, emotions, thoughts, attitudes, our character, and even our moral makeup—in other words, our inner world.

The purpose for these next three chapters, She Releases, She Trusts, and She Cries is to support you in navigating the negative emotions of anger, fear and sadness. These three common emotions are often ‘stuffed’ and handled in unhealthy ways that can affect us for

years to come—and even our physical health over time. The culture we live in and even our family culture often may not model or teach us how to handle our emotions in a healthy way.

Entire books have been written on each of these subjects! We hope to plant seeds of truth in your mind and heart and share some helpful tips along your journey to becoming ever more emotionally and mentally healthy, strong, and thriving!

Your Emotional Health Matters!

Did you know that your ability to connect with God is directly impacted by your emotional health?

If we are in the depths of depression, filled with steaming rage, feeling bitter with unforgiveness, or paralyzed by fear, our spiritual life will be impacted. We can try to comfort ourselves through ways such as eating, porn, shopping, social media, getting good grades, drinking, drugs, sex, gaming, and even work—to escape and distract ourselves for the moment.

God cares so deeply about your health—body, mind, soul, and spirit—your entire being! IT'S OK TO GET HELP! If you feel you need additional support, for starters, you can go for counseling and/or to a reputable prayer ministry in addition to spending time with God and meditating on His Word.

ACTIVITY: Reflect on the following questions and rate yourself from 1 to 10 (1 being poor, 10 being excellent) on your emotional health in the areas of your mind, will, and emotions: MIND:

How has your thought life been about yourself, others, your circumstances?

Do you tend to have positive and hopeful thoughts or do you find yourself stewing in negative and cynical thoughts?

WILL:

How have you been managing the virtue of self-control?

Are you a pushover where you have little boundaries and can’t say no?

Are you a control freak?

Have you been trusting God and seeking godly direction, or taking things into your own hands?

Have you been making good and wise choices?

EMOTIONS:

Do you find yourself on an emotional roller coaster?

Are you stuffing your emotions?

Do you feel peaceful and content overall?

Are you even aware of your emotions and avoid ‘going there?’

NOTES

7

She Releases.

Trusts.

Cries.

8

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E RELEASES

“If we really want to love we must learn how to forgive.”

JOU RN EY 02 • CHAPTER 08

MOTHER THERESA

9

ACTIVITY

Doodle or draw something that makes you angry or draw your anger.

GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEELINGS.

Chart your feelings in a day to become more self-aware!

Hysterically happy!

Cheerful Positive Peaceful Content Neutral Bored Little irritated grumpy Super annoyed Frustrated Depressed

8am

10

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

10am

12pm

2pm

4pm

6pm

8pm

10 pm

FORGIVENESS AND HEALING

BY MICHELE OKIMURA

W

e ALL have experienced being hurt and offended!

It is normal to go through intense feelings of anger, sadness, and pain when we are hurt by people or situations.

Forgiveness is a vital component of our healing process and needful for keeping our hearts pure before God. Holding on to unforgiveness can torment us mentally and emotionally, stealing away our joy and peace. Over time, holding on to bitterness can also increase our risk of suffering from physical health issues. Forgiveness is for our benefit so we can be free from the chains of unforgiveness.

Isn’t it so easy to get annoyed by others? Forgiveness typically can be given fairly easily and quickly for minor hurts or irritations. Minor hurts are like getting a pin prick on your finger—it irritates, but it is easier to let go of.

However, healing for deep hurts will usually take time and comes in steps.

A betrayal, an abuse, or a humiliation are examples of traumatic hurts that can take root in our hearts. A deep hurt feels like a knife through your heart—it is wounding and very painful! Forgiving such hurts is a process that often involves getting help from a godly mentor or professional counselor—there is no shame in getting help and having others walk with you through your process of forgiveness!

Like peeling an onion, sometimes our hurts find their roots in past experiences. God heals us layer by layer. Have patience for yourself in the process. Ask God for help to forgive.

You may not ‘feel’ like forgiving, but forgiveness is a choice. And it can take time. God understands and is with you! God heals our hearts in a variety of creative ways, so your healing experience will not look exactly like someone else’s.

Beloved, pursue your healing! God desires to heal your heart and make you whole through the pathway of forgiveness. Freedom awaits you!

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

The following are three helpful, easy to remember steps to take when forgiving someone who has hurt you. You can go through this prayer below throughout the week as opportunities arise, making forgiveness a regular rhythm of your life!

1. Forgive the person (or yourself) in prayer. Imagine the person is in front of you. Speak forgiveness to the person as if he/she were right there. I have found this envisioning can help our hearts to release unforgiveness more genuinely.

You can say something like this: “(name of person), I forgive you for (say specifically what they did that hurt you).”

2. Ask God to forgive you for holding unforgiveness toward the person who offended you, or yourself.

You can say something like, “Lord, please forgive me for holding unforgiveness and bitterness towards (name of person) for (what they did).”

3. Bless that person in prayer.

Pray blessings for the person that hurt you. Pray for them as the Lord leads you.

EPHESIANS 4:32 NLT

what forgiveness is not

FORGIVENESS DOES NOT MEAN: • We must deny our hurt or anger.

• We have to work to change our feelings—God will help us if we ask Him to!

• We must ‘forget’ the offense.

• The offender was not wrong.

• The offender is not accountable.

• It is the same as excusing what happened.

• You need to now trust the person.

11

LETTING GO Moments of pain from our past experiences can trigger and stir up lies, feelings of shame and beliefs that blur our

true identity. Part of the process of healing and being restored is releasing our pain to God and forgiving.

“He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.”

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.

What memories from the past trigger angry feelings in you?

What do you wish you could tell the person you’re angry with about how you were hurt by them?

“When a deep injury is done to us, we never heal until we forgive.”

Who or what do you need to forgive?

Start the process with the Lord...

12

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

NELSON MANDELA

ACTIVITY Write on the balloons all the things you want to let go of.

Draw more balloons if you need to.

Go to God in prayer and ask Him to take your burdens as you release them to Him. Feel free to color the balloons.

For deeper hurts you may need to reach out to a trusted person in your life who can walk with you through the forgiveness process.

letting go:

13

“Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” HEBREWS 12:15 NLT

POISON OR PEACE

BY TISHA LEHFELDT

S

omeone says or does something that hurts us. Ouch!

Now we have a choice.

Do we forgive or withhold forgiveness?

The truth is, forgiveness frees us.

Unforgiveness snares us to do the will of the enemy.

I heard this saying once, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Wow. This is truth. Here’s another, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

For me, I know that forgiveness is the better way to live. I expect myself to honor God and His ways even when it hurts. I often say to myself, “Tisha, how high of a price are you willing to pay to do life the enemy’s way?

Do I stay angry, bent up, judgmental, bitter, and indifferent? Whatever we

sow, we reap. I have a passion to see the fruit of God growing in my life.

Galatians Chapter 5:22-23, NIV talks about the fruit of the Holy Spirit. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.”

The question is, do you want the fruit of God growing in your life or the fruit of darkness growing in your life? I want more love and less hate growing in my life. I challenge myself to cling to God’s Word and work hard to forgive people even forgiving myself.

This morning during my hang time with Jesus, I heard the Father say, “Tisha, are you going to forgive yourself?” I didn’t realize I was holding anger in my heart against myself for things that I did in the past. God forgave me, however, I could not forgive myself!

I realized we could be like Judas or Peter. In Matthew 27, Judas regrets betraying Jesus. Then Judas ran to the tree and hung himself. Peter regretted denying Jesus. However, in John 21, we see Peter jumping out of the boat and swimming to get to Jesus. We may not end our lives as Judas did, but we can die spiritually. If we don’t forgive, we disqualify ourselves from the race God has set before us to live out.

Let’s be like Peter. Let’s run hard after Jesus and allow His words to restore and reinstate us (read passage in John 21:15-17).

Jesus: “Do you love me?”

Peter: “Yes Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus: “Take care of my sheep.”

If we choose to do life God’s way, we reap love, joy, peace and so much more!

Here are some questions to ask yourself: • Why is it hard to forgive others?

• Do I have a hard time forgiving myself?

• Do I want a life filled

with poison or peace?

I hope you choose peace. If you do, the following is a scripted prayer

to help you get your heart back to

peace with yourself and with Jesus.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

EPHESIANS 4:31-32 NIV

14

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

A PRAYER FOR

forgiveness and releasing negative judgments.

The prayer below is a great tool to help you along your healing journey.

Before praying this prayer, take a few minutes to make a list of the negative words you would use to describe the person who offended you:

Although these words may ring true, these judgments prevent you from seeing this person through God’s eyes of grace.

The following prayer will help you to forgive and release your negative judgments to the Lord.

Don’t rush. Take your time as you pray. Know that God is near you, with you, and is your Helper!

“Heavenly Father, I forgive (name of person who offended you) for (say what he/she did or said that hurt you.)”

“Please forgive me for holding anger, hatred and bitterness towards (name of person). Forgive me for having an unloving attitude, for holding onto unforgiveness, and for anything I said or did that was not right. Deep down, I have been really hurt. I give all the pain in my heart to you.

“Heavenly Father, please forgive me for any devaluing labels I put on (name of person).”

(Repeat the prayer sentence below, once for each of the negative words you wrote in the blanks above until you covered each word. For example, if one of the words you listed was ‘rude’ describing someone named Ann, you would say,” Lord, please forgive me for judging Ann as rude.” Go through each judgment word one by one in prayer.)

“Lord, please forgive me for judging (name of person) as (a judgment word from above).”

(Continue on below after you covered each judgment you wrote.)

“Lord, the truth is, he/she is someone you love. Help me to now see this person as you see him/her.”

(Take a minute to ask God how He sees this person. He may whisper into your mind some words that evoke compassion and mercy in your heart, positive words, or a positive picture that symbolizes their value. If nothing comes to mind, ask the Lord to show you how He sees him/her in the days to come.)

15

“Father, I recognize that I have come to some destructive conclusions regarding the way he/she thinks and feels about me that may or may not be true. Forgive me for allowing these unspoken messages to become my truth. I surrender these conclusions to you and trust you as my Defender and Healer. I choose to no longer dwell on such conclusions!”

“Lord, forgive me for judging and labeling myself with devaluing labels. I renounce the lie that I am (say any negative labels you may have put on yourself). I break these false beliefs now in the name of Jesus.”

“Father, I ask that your perfect love fill me, heal me, and cleanse my heart.”

(Pause and receive His love and healing.)

“Father, I receive Your forgiveness for all that I have confessed to You today. I declare that I am forgiven!”

“Right now I bless (name of the person who you forgave). I pray that you would comfort and draw near to him/her—that they would know you and be transformed by your love. Pour your peace and favor into his/her life. May your perfect will be done in this relationship. Give me your heart of love and compassion towards this person. Please continue to guide me in your ways of love, wisdom, and forgiveness.”

power clean your heart!

The enemy of our souls loves to trap us, torment us and pile loads of accusations upon us...in the darkness. Our hearts can have closets that we hide and stuff things in that we don't want to deal with. But in those hidden places, they fester.

There is an answer that can help! Confess!

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray

for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

ACTIVITY Confessing your mess ups, struggles, and sins takes courage and risk, but oh! The healing and freedom that it can bring! What can help as a baby step toward confessing to a person, is to journal your thoughts—like a confession to yourself and to God. You could even use your journal entry for a reference when you decide to confide in someone.

Journal your reflections here

JAMES 5:16 NIV

Do you know any righteous people? A righteous person is basically a person who has excellent godly character, is loving and trustworthy. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you to the right person to confess your failures and struggles to. Yes, it can be scary because you don't want to be judged, but confession helps to bring victory and freedom from shame and ushers in God's healing light!

Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be—you get a fresh start, your slate’s wiped clean. Count yourself lucky—God holds nothing against you and you’re holding nothing back from him. When I kept it all inside, my bones turned to powder, my words became daylong groans. The pressure never let up; all the juices of my life dried up. Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll come clean about my failures to God.” Suddenly the pressure was gone—my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. PSALM 32:1-5 MSG

16

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

JOURNAL

17

FORGIVe YOUR SELF

"O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help."

PSALM 86:5 NLT

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus," ROMANS 8:1 NIV

18

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much are you a perfectionist?

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much grace and forgiveness do you give yourself when you mess up?

Sometimes we have done things that we are ashamed of and still carry pain about it. We know it is a sin to hold unforgiveness towards others, but did you know God also does NOT want you to hold unforgiveness towards yourself? Sometimes forgiving yourself is more difficult than forgiving someone else.

ACTIVITY Go into your bedroom or bathroom where there is a mirror you can look into. Have a private moment with you and God. Look deeply into your own eyes and say, “I forgive you.”

Then, say, “Lord, please forgive me for holding unforgiveness towards myself.”

This may be an easy task, or it can be an emotional task. Either way, you are ok. Spend a moment receiving God’s kind and gentle forgiveness and love. Just be. Just stand and be an object of His love and affection.

He loves you and washes you clean as white as snow and calls you Forgiven.

“People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.”

AUDREY HEPBURN

19

She Releases.

Trusts.

Cries.

20

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E TRUSTS

PSALM 56:3 NIV

JOU RN EY 02 • CHAPTER 09

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you”.

21

“Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am brave and worthy of love and belonging.” BRENÉ BROWN

UNRAVELING OUR MENTAL MESS!

BY MICHELE OKIMURA

Ever feel a mental mess of anxiety overcome you?

Entire books have been written on how to manage and overcome fear and anxiety, so we are just scratching the surface here!

We can attempt to avoid feeling stressed by distracting ourselves through unhealthy means such as binge eating or going shopping to feel the thrill of buying stuff! Some of us may have even turned to drugs, sex, or porn to medicate stress. Such actions may give us a moment of relief and comfort but will not be helpful for us in the long run.

There are some good things that can come out of feelings of anxiety.

Anxiety can: • motivate us to accomplish our goals and creatively problem solve.

• show us where we need to grow in trusting God. • give us clues to any unhealthy thinking patterns that need adjustments!

• be a warning signal that we are in danger, moving us to take positive action.

22

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

When you are feeling anxious, ask yourself, “Why am I feeling anxious?”

Reflecting on why you are feeling stressed can help uncover the internal dialogue you are having—a dialogue that you may not even be aware of!

What if what you are thinking is not true?

Our thoughts directly affect our emotions. Faulty, distorted thinking happens when we believe something to be true that is false or could very well be false. Faulty thinking causes a huge ball of mental mess! It can fill us with hopelessness, paralyze us with fear or guilt, and trap us in unnecessary pain!

It is dangerous because it affects your relationships and limits your potential.

All or nothing thinking:

‘All or nothing’ thinking exaggerates things to be much bigger than they are.

Could you be assuming the worst-case scenario? Is your imagination going a bit wild? Are you thinking too black and white? Maybe you got a C on your report card so you feel like a failure.

Or someone offended you, so you think they are a horrible person. This is extreme thinking.

If we use words like *always, *never, *all, *everybody in our statements, we are probably having a faulty thought.

You take things personally:

Do you take offense at something a person said or did before you have all the information? Could you be jumping too quickly to a negative conclusion?

Could you be interpreting the situation wrongly?

Maybe someone didn’t return your text so you think he/she must be avoiding you. Perhaps they were sick in bed all day, or maybe they had to tend to an important situation. Maybe someone you know didn’t greet you as you passed by, so you now think they must dislike you. Perhaps they did not notice you because they were deep in thought or depressed.

Believing the positive before assuming the worst can be helpful. And...stop mind reading. Don’t assume you know someone’s intention without checking with them! Communication is so fragile in that we can so easily misinterpret something—and sometimes even hear something that was not said! Checking

your understanding with the person can be enlightening and helpful!

to manage your stress and walk with you to victory!

Hopeless thinking:

Constant, intense, fearful, anxious thoughts have a toxic effect on our physical bodies. Chronic fear and anxiety weakens our immune system. Therefore, it becomes so very important to learn how to manage those emotions.

This line of thinking affects our outlook for the future. Hopeless thinking has a cynical and negative ring to it and can often include the word never and always.

Examples of hopeless thinking are: • I’ll never be happy at this school.

• My family will always be messed up.

• I’ll never find a trustworthy friend.

With God, we have so much hope for a positive future—nothing is impossible for your God who wants to bless you with good things!

Do you suffer from severe fear and anxiety?

If you are experiencing fear and anxiety that is negatively affecting your daily functioning, seek professional help!

Your reactions could be rooted in a traumatic experience that God wants to heal. It can be extremely helpful to have a professional counselor give you tools

If you suffer from any of the symptoms below, seek support from the resources in your community: • Difficulty concentrating.

• Constant irritability or emotional outbursts.

• Spending more time isolated and alone.

• Physical problems such as headaches or a digestive issue.

• Difficulty sleeping or often having nightmares.

• Constantly feeling overwhelmed.

• Panic attacks (rapid heartbeat, difficulty breathing).

and heart health and wants to enable you to rest in His peace, trusting Him!

“ “

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” I PETER 5:7 NLT

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7 NIV

Life can be messy and working on our mental mess is an ongoing process!

Know that God cares about your mind

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

JOHN 14:27 NIV

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!”

ISAIAH 26:3 NLT

23

DON’T LET THE FEAR OF REJECTION STOP YOU!

BY KATHLEEN MONTELEONE

R

ejection. Yikes. Just saying it hurts. I never thought rejection would become such a huge theme in my life. I’ve lived with it, written a movie about it, talked about it on podcasts, and now here I am well, writing about it again.

I’ve always wanted to be a big Broadway Star. I mean, huge. Not a few shows here and there, not the chorus girl in the back, but the headliner who wears a boa as a normal daily fashion choice. I’ve loved singing, dancing and acting since I can remember, and I pursued all three through high school. By the time college came around, I knew I just had to go to New York City! I attended an arts college and got my degree in acting and musical theatre. So far, the dream was panning out perfectly.

24

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Post college I found myself auditioning for a brand-new reality show. Yes, the “American Idol” type where you pin a number to your chest and sing your heart out for 8 seconds for the judges to either accept you or decline you.

Well, I was accepted and at 23, I was on National Television. My dream continued along just as planned.

I made it to the top four, then, uh oh.

I was voted off. Wait, what?

I was planning on winning! How could America vote me off? Didn’t people like me? I’ve given my all to this. What happened to the dream? The plan?

The second I “got the boot,” it felt like my heart took a dagger and poisoned me with embarrassment, grief, and straight

up pain and confusion! I was just so, so sad. And I was so mad at God that He would take me this far and leave me feeling so crappy.

It’s been 13 years since that moment of elimination, and rejection still hurts.

But this is what I want to say about rejection; although it is disguised as the Big Bad Wolf, it can be one of our biggest helpers. It’s the friend who may have a prickly personality but can have your back. On the other side of rejection is a new path, a new idea, and a stronger and a happier you if you learn how to respond to it well. Rejection can tell you what to change, what to forgive, what to let go of, or what to hold onto.

The mistake I made after my big elimination was that I let rejection

sit around me like a blob of jello that complained all the time. It took over my thoughts and started telling me who I was and what I was going to be.

Until one day, I spoke to rejection and said “I can’t just let you take up my space. I need to put you to work.” So, I started writing. Something I had never done before, but I did have this really unique, funny and bizarre experience of being on a reality show. How many people can say that? I wrote out the funny, hard, painful moments, and the moments I wished would have happened.

Thirteen years later, I wrote a movie called AMERICAN REJECT. I also produced it and starred it in! If someone would have told me on elimination night that God would use rejection to take me from being a sad actor to launching a writing and producing career while building my acting career, I wouldn’t have believed you for a second!

I say all this because I would never have

stepped into these areas of creativity without rejection. People usually don’t step out and take risks because of the fear of failure and rejection. I get that.

We want to protect ourselves.

But I ask you: What do you have that you wish you could do that you haven’t done because of fear of rejection? Think of the thing you think you could be ridiculed for or possibly unfollowed on Instagram because of. Harsh. I know. Is it picking up a guitar? Sewing your own clothes? Sharing your poetry? Writing or performing a song? What is it? And if the mockery, fear and rejection were actually your helpers and the fuel to your engine, would you do it?

After I had finished the movie, I was on a run around the park near our house, which is my time to pray. Right away, I felt the feeling of “it is finished.” I felt God show me the entire picture. He brought me back to the reality show.

He showed me when I thought I was

on the show to win and begin my big Broadway career. Then He showed me that I was on the show and rejected so that I could make this movie. If I had not been rejected, none of this would have happened. It was all about this movie and everything God wanted to do through me and for me in making the movie. The reality show was just the beginning. I was blown away that all along, God had a plan that was so much bigger than what I could see then.

The next time rejection sinks in and tries to talk to you, talk back! Say, “Hey, how are you here to help me? What have you got for me today?”

Let God use rejection to teach you, help you, and to guide you. He really has a detailed plan for you that is beyond your wildest dreams. I hope you can find your past rejections today, look them in the eye, and with God’s help say, “Let’s get to work!”

25

Talk to your soul…

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.”

PSALM 62:5 NIV

26

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen.”

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

ACTIVITY What are the three biggest things that cause you anxiety?

What three things would you love to do if you weren’t afraid?

“Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you.” PSALM 9:10 NLT Draw or describe someone you know who is often content and at peace.

What are some things you are very fearful of?

ACTION: Keep your eyes on Jesus.

27

She Releases.

Trusts.

Cries.

28

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E CRI ES

“You keep track of all my sorrows.

You have recorded each one in your book.”

PSALM 56:8 NLT

JOU RN EY 02 • CHAPTER 10

You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

29

Doodle something that makes you SAD.

Let Your Feelings Be Known.

GOOD GRIEF!

BY SHERYL SARMENTO Professional Counselor

30

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

I’ve had many losses in life. My parents divorced when I was an infant, and I went from house to house throughout my childhood. I changed schools, neighborhoods, and houses more times than I could ever count. With every change, there were multiple losses. I did not know what to do with my feelings, so I numbed them through drugs, alcohol, and other forms of escape.

As a teenager, I finally met Jesus. He saved me from my life of destruction.

First I asked Him to come into my heart and take over my life. He eventually showed me how to deal with my sadness and grief. He also showed me that many of His people did not know how to grieve and did not understand that grief is good.

WE ALL HAVE LOSSES IN LIFE:

Have you experienced any of these losses? Check off the ones in your life.

o o

loss of a pet.

o

loss of someone you were close to through death or move in location.

o o o o

that are counterproductive, even if we have good intentions. What helps grieving people to heal is being a good

HERE ARE SOME OF THE WAYS THAT WE MIGHT TRY TO AVOID OUR GRIEF AND PAIN

loss of a parent through death or divorce.

loss of a relationship or friendship.

loss of hopes and dreams. loss of virginity.

loss of popularity on social media and more.

All these losses cause sadness that affects us in one way or another.

Did you know that Jesus also had loss upon loss and that he understands your losses in life?

When a loss happens, it causes something called grief. Grief creates a deep sadness. That sadness has to go somewhere and often resides in our heart, our mind, and our body.

God has created avenues for us to release our grief.

Romans 12:15 tells us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those that weep.”

It is easy to be happy and excited with people who have something to be happy about, but have you ever tried to cry with someone who is crying and to be sad with someone who is sad?

That is exactly what we are supposed to do… weep with those that weep, cry with those who are sad and who need to cry.

We naturally want to help a grieving person "fix their pain," but this can be more hurtful than helpful. Saying things like, "They are in a better place," or "Don't be sad," or "God wants us to be happy," or "Just pray” are all things

listener, allowing them to express their feelings, and letting sadness come out in ways that will help them heal.

• Taking drugs and alcohol.

• Having sex before marriage.

• Watching pornography.

• Escaping into playing video games.

• Cutting.

• Intense anger at the person for dying, and later feelings of guilt for being angry.

• Mood changes over the slightest situations.

• Unexpected outbursts of anger or crying.

• Overeating.

• Addiction to social media.

• Depression.

• Isolating from others.

• Suicidal thoughts.

• Heaviness in the chest or tightness in the throat.

• Difficulty concentrating on a task at hand.

• A feeling that the loss isn’t real and didn’t happen at all.

• Sleeplessness or troubling dreams or sleeping too much.

• A need to retell and remember things about their loved one, to a point of repetition that becomes • Guilt over something said or done, or a burden to others. something left unsaid or undone.

• An ‘empty feeling’ or loss of appetite.

HERE IS WHAT YOU CAN DO INSTEAD: 1. Pray and ask the Lord to help you recognize and acknowledge your loss or losses. Make time to grieve.

2. In biblical days, the Jewish culture had an average minimum grief period of 30 days. (Deuteronomy 34:8). In today's world, you can still carve out times where you can really focus on grieving.

3. Find a close friend who can acknowledge your grief, listen to you without trying to fix your pain, and just be with you through your grief journey. Ask for prayer.

4. Journal about your loss and how it makes you feel. Be honest and don't hold anything back. Grief often causes anger, especially if there was something unjust that happened to cause the grief. Writing your feelings and thoughts down can help release some of that pain to God. 5. If you like to express yourself creatively, draw or paint a picture, write a poem, write a song, do a craft, or create a dance to express yourself. The creative arts can help bring healing.

6. Look at pictures, make a collage, watch a movie or do something that reminds you of your loss and helps you to cry to get those feelings out.

7. Prepare yourself on birthdays, holidays, and whatever other days might bring back memories of your loss. Try to be with someone or do something that will help you get through that day.

8. You can ask for professional help and find a good Christian counselor who can help you walk through the journey to wholeness. Christian counselors have a calling from God to bring healing to people.

9. Every day take your sadness, loss, and grief to Jesus. He knows and understands exactly how you feel and wants to heal you. Listen to worship music that helps you with your grief and draws you closer to Jesus, the One who ultimately will heal you from the pain that caused your grief.

31

Sometimes, it is so good just to cry it all out.

There is healing in crying tears.

DECLARATION TO RELEASE TEARS

BY SHERYL SARMENTO

I declare that tears are good because God made them for our healing.

My tears are precious to you because you hold them

Tears are a gift from God and not to be suppressed.

Not one of my tears goes unnoticed by you, Lord.

Shedding tears is not a weakness and it will even make me stronger when I do release those tears.

Today I commit myself to the grief process that you

in a bottle, and you count every one of them.

have provided for me.

I have nothing to be ashamed of when I cry alone or in a crowd of people.

I ask that you release me fully into whatever else I

Men and women alike need to cry just like Jesus did.

be healed of the losses in my life.

need to do in addition to shedding tears, in order to

“

“You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.”

PSALM 56:8 MSG

32

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

SADNESS. LONELINESS. HOPE. Navigating Loneliness

BY ABI ARAKAWA

H

i beautiful ladies! My name is Abi. I am 28 years old and just this past month I went on my first date…ever.

I’ve never been in a relationship or pursued by a godly man. And no, I’m not a nun, a monk, or a saint. I know, right?

There are probably a ton of thoughts formulating in your head right now, trying to paint a picture of who I might be!

Trust me, I’m not a super crazy person…at least I don’t think that I am!

couples on social media or the K-dramas and feel that longing to be pursued by someone in that same way.

• Maybe you recently lost someone who was really close to you and you feel a deep emptiness now that they’re gone.

• Most, if not all of us, have felt varying degrees of loneliness at some point in our life.

There’s a certain ache that I’ve experienced in my heart, a loneliness that I’ve endured from being single all these years.

But I know that the loneliness of singleness is just one type of loneliness.

I used to think that my loneliness would be solved if only I had a boyfriend/husband who loved me unconditionally.

While we may think that loneliness can be solved by a person, I believe there is something much deeper that God is trying to clue us in to.

• There is a loneliness that you may feel because you don’t have a lot of friends or maybe you don’t have any close friends who really get you.

Loneliness isn’t solved by a person— it’s fulfilled by His presence.

• Maybe you feel lonely at home because you feel like your parents do not understand what you’re going through.

I look back on the many years of my singleness, and I know that I would not trade what I’ve gained in my desperation for God, for the temporary comfort of a person.

• Maybe you look around at all the seemingly “perfect”

Some of the gifts that came out of my seasons of loneliness…

1

2

In my loneliness, I pressed into my relationship with God even more. I was desperate for God, He became my best friend as He was the one who would always be there for me, would never disappoint me, and who would always love me.

I became shaped by the identity that GOD spoke over me. I had to choose to stand on what God said

about me, rather than my feelings, my circumstance, my relationship status, or the opinions of people.

3

I was able to invest well into lifelong friendships with other women. Something to think about, if you invest into close guy friendships, will you be able to keep that closeness once you have a significant other? Or will you

need to set up boundaries? When investing into friendships with the same gender, these are friendships that will be able to last even if you ever get into a relationship.

4

I was able to invest into myself and develop myself as an individual before needing to care for someone else or needing to be cared for by them.

33

My loneliness has actually been a gift because it’s caused me to hunger after God’s presence even more. Navigating loneliness is not easy, but it is worth it.

It is precious. It is deepening. It builds a grit that doesn’t come from times of lavishness, safety or comfort. I continue to go through seasons of loneliness, but God never wastes those moments. He always does something deeper in me through it. A gift can only be good if it is received and opened. So, press into this gift that God is giving you.

Your season of loneliness may only be here for a limited time! So how can you press in and make the most of it? Here are some ideas if you need help getting started: 1.

Spend some time (could be a day or a few hours), alone with God. Turn off and get away from all distractions.

2.

Ask Him about what His thoughts are about how you’re feeling and where He is in the midst of it. (Use different mediums to document what He’s speaking to you. It could be through art or journaling.)

3.

Meditate on Psalm 63:1-8. Notice how David felt in the midst of the wilderness. How did he respond to God during this time?

Let’s have some fun and do some math to put this into perspective! (I will use myself as an example) 1. Appropriate age to start dating (eg. I believe around 18+ years) 2. Think of the ideal age you’d hope to get married by (eg. 27 years) 3. The number of years you hope to be married (eg. 50+ years) 4. Take the number from #2 and minus it from #1. (eg. 27 – 18 = 9) 5. Compare the totals from #3 and #4 (9 years of being single vs. 50+ years of being married)

4. Take note of when you feel loneliness and how you respond. We often will use coping mechanisms to help us deal with the pain of what we are feeling. However, our coping mechanisms do not help us grow. They often keep us immature and empty.

5. Make a plan to use this additional time productively!

What are things that you want to do, grow in, invest into? What are the blessings of this season of loneliness that you may not have later?

6. Create a list of 3 things you could do to pursue relationships with people. Don’t wait for others to initiate, make steps for yourself. (eg. Grab a snack and hang out with someone you want to get closer to, plan a game night, call up a family member/friend, join church youth group activities, etc.)

34

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

I feel so alone

“God sets the lonely in families...”

PSALM 68:6 NIV

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.“ ROMANS 8:28 NIV

35

M IND F UL LET T ERING Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

Action Steps

YOU GO GIRL! LET’S WALK IT OUT. ••

she is Brave & Beautiful you!

She Releases.

She Trusts.

She Cries.

CHOOSE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS STEPS: 1. Doing a symbolic physical act can help us to release our tears, anger, unforgiveness, and pain to God. Try

one of these activities to release forgiveness towards

someone you are having difficulty forgiving: •

•

Name it! Name the fear you have.

•

Read aloud and memorize the verse you chose.

• Tell God about your fears and ask Him for help.

Go to a beach or lake and gather rocks along

• Activate your trust in God by taking a positive step

the shore. The rocks symbolize the pain and

to face your fear. Ask God for creative ideas to live

unforgiveness you are carrying. Throw the rocks one by one into the water as far as you can, releasing

your burdens to God. •

Write a short prayer of forgiveness on a

biodegradable helium filled balloon. Go outside and let the balloon go and watch it as it rises to heaven.

•

Write a letter (it will NOT be given to them) to

the person who hurt you and be raw and real in

expressing your anger and pain. End the letter

out trust in this area.

3.

If you realize you have not allowed yourself to grieve

over a loss in your life—take 10-15 minutes alone each day for a week to think about your loss. During the 15 minutes, you could:

• Journal your feelings and thoughts.

•

shared. Allow yourself to cry.

by praying for them, choosing to forgive them or

express your desire to be free from unforgiveness.

Ask God to heal you as you rip the paper up into tiny

•

pieces and throw it into the trash.

2. The following activity can help us with the fears we struggle with:

•

If you lost a loved one, look over old photos or

old letters/emails, and recall fond memories you

•

Write a poem or goodbye letter to the person or pet you lost.

Listen to a song that touches your heart in a

good way. Let the tears flow.

Pick a favorite Bible verse addressing fear.

An example is:

“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you…” ISAIAH 41:13-14 NIV

1-888-373-7888

TOLL-FREE HOTLINE | 24/7 CONFIDENTIAL

Get Help Report Trafficking

37

VOLUME 02 — PART 2 The Lord takes us on a life journey from being hidden to being seen and from seed to bloom. He celebrates every step you make towards maturing and growing into who

You will •

life so you can release the sweet fragrance of Christ

He has designed you to be in your fullness— He created

and add your gorgeous color to a sometimes black

you to blossom.

What does it take for a flower seed to bloom? At first, a seed is hidden. Over time, a seed becomes buried in

and white world.

•

sunlight above, and the moisture of the soil creates the

•

resistance—the weight of soil that surrounds it. It also must find a pathway through rubble and rocks that may block its way. That takes perseverance.

The plant also has protective layers in its design as it grows. Then, over time, the plant blooms…just like how

learn ways to protect your heart so you grow healthy, strong, and tall.

environment for it to push forth outwards and upwards.

However, as the plant pushes upward, it meets

gain strength for the journey—yes you will need it!

soil. Then the seed must burst open—but that is just the beginning! The plant then senses the heat from the

receive essentials for blooming in every season of

•

gain ways to celebrate your unique and beautiful sparkle.

You. A radiant, shining star. Sparkle! Glitter!

Glow! Twinkle! Go light up this world!

—whether it be external trials that come your way or

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.”

whether you struggle with the turmoil of the rough

ROMANS 8:18-19 NIV

God desires us to bloom in full color in glorious display.

Welcome to the next section of Brave and Beautiful where you will be encouraged to bloom right where you are planted and in every season of your life. As you bloom, you will encounter resistance to your growth

emotional seas of the heart.

38

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

She She She She

Blooms Perseveres Protects Sparkles

39

“She will be like a tree planted by streams of water,

Which yields its fruit in its season, And its leaf does not wither;

And in whatever she does, she prospers.”

PSALM 1:3 NASB, PARAPHRASED

She Bloom

40

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E B LOO MS

JOU RN EY 02 • CHAPTER 11

41

ms.

Blooming in Every Season of Life. Painting by Elisa Nakamura

Draw yourself as a flower.

42

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

TRUST IN GOD'S TIMING

blooming in your season.

H

ow would you describe the season you are in now?

Spring blossoms? Like the intense pinks and reds of tulips? Falling orange and yellow maple leaves—or a wintry breeze? Or is it like a warm summery day drinking lemonade? Let your imagination speak.

Doodle what season you are in now.

Reflect why you identify with that season.

SURRENDER YOUR SEASON!

Sometimes we think we know better than other people including our parents —and even God! When we don’t trust God and His timing, we often try to take things into our own hands to control the situation! But the truth is, God is in control and we are not—it's too heavy a burden to try to control circumstances or people. This will cause anxiety, fear, and stress in our lives.

When you surrender your lives, your circumstances, your emotions, your plans, and your season to God, you are now in position for God to fill you with His peace and comfort.

It is OK if things take time.

“...a time to dance,” ECCLESIASTES 3:4 NIV

“…Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!

Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone.

The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air. The fig trees are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!” Arise my love, my beautiful companion…”

SONG OF SOLOMON 2:10-13 NLT

43

ACTIVITY

In each box, write a word or phrase, description, or sketch with a short interpretation of what each season means to you. How would you define each season for yourself?

WINTER

SPRING

SUMMER

FALL

“EVERY NEW SEASON OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO LEARN AND GROW. DON'T CELEBRATE THE GOOD WITHOUT CELEBRATING THE BAD BECAUSE THEY BOTH WORK TOGETHER TO PREPARE YOU FOR THE NEXT SEASON OF YOUR LIFE.” THERESA LEWIS

44

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“IF MY BODY WERE A TREE TRUNK, THE RINGS WOULD SURELY REVEAL THE TIME THAT IT HAS HAD TO MATURE.” - ROBERT M. HENSEL

HE IS LORD OF THE RINGS

BY MICHELE OKIMURA

T

rees are amazing historians. They are like timekeepers, recording time. The rings of a tree reveal not only the length of its life, but recounted through its patterns and intricate designs is the record of its journey through life.

• Moments of painful injury.

• Times of persevering through the fires.

• The years when it drank up the overflow of refreshing rain from heaven.

• The years when the tree endured the painful push and strain to survive during times of dryness and lack.

Yet the unique designs of the tree rings display a kind of beauty divine when looked at altogether. The shape of the rings reminds us that the place which may seem like the sad ending may also be the beginning of something new and fresh.

It actually could be the start of the next big thing in your life that causes you to bloom further!

Like a tree, we grow season by season, adding a new layer to our lives each year. As we keep connected to God through the seasons, we become stronger and can bloom in new ways.

Like the tree, you were not meant to have rings that look the same, even and uninterrupted.

Invite The Lord of the rings into your seasons.

When you invite the Lord of the rings into your story... the One who orchestrates your life, who is in control, who is able to make all things new ,and creates beauty from ashes...then there is a glorious brave beauty that is unveiled in your rings, the chapters of your life!

45

REFLECTION ACTIVITY

What do the various seasons of life express to you?

Spring

often represents new life. Winter has melted away, there is new growth, flower buds, and green sprouts.

What does the spring season mean to you?

Summer

days can mean the freedom of vacation time, summer berries, and days basking in the warm sun. What does the summer season mean to you?

Fall

leaves can represent change and transition—the old leaves fall away making way for winter—yet what a vibrant

show fall leaves display! What does the fall season mean to you?

Winter

time can mean different things—like a time of rest when many plants and animals hibernate. It could also mean the festivities and fellowship of the holidays, or a time of chilly loneliness for some. What does the winter season mean to you?

Journal and describe a spring season you once had, sharing what you learned and how you grew.

Journal and describe a summer season you once had, sharing what you learned and how you grew.

Journal and describe a fall season you once had, sharing what you learned and how you grew.

Journal and describe a winter season you once had, sharing what you learned and how you grew.

WISDOM FROM EVERY SEASON What do you consider your biggest mistakes in life so far?

What were some lessons you learned from them? Wisdoms gained?

46

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

essentials for blooming: Keep a water bottle with you whenever possible! Add zing! You can add flavor to your water with:

Here are some preparation tips that can help ready your brain for good night’s sleep:

• slices of any citrus fruits (or juices)

• Don’t look at online devices or watch T.V. 30-60 minutes before you go to sleep. Researchers have found that exposure to the blue light that radiates from devices stimulates the brain and makes you less sleepy. Read something enjoyable instead!

• slices of cucumber or mint leaves • berries

EAT. DRINK.

Hydration! All living things from the tiniest bacteria to the largest elephant need water to survive. Drinking fresh water is essential for self-care and a healthy body so that you can bloom!

How much water should you drink?

Many experts say at least 6-8 cups per day is minimum!

Benefits of drinking water: • It can improve your brain function and mood (When dehydrated, you can experience brain fog and feel grouchy!)

• It can help lower your sugar cravings.

(Too much sugar can weaken your immune system making you more vulnerable to illness.)

• It can help improve your physical performance and energy levels.

• It can help minimize headaches.

(Dehydration can cause headaches.)

• It helps prevent bladder infections and constipation!

• It can help you maintain your weight.

Not to be TMI, but how do you know if you are drinking enough water? If your urine is a pale yellow, this is usually a good sign you are hydrated.

Ok...so you may like your sweets and fast foods… and maybe you really don’t like fresh vegetable salads and fruit. But eating clean and healthy has a direct effect on our emotional, mental, and physical health!

Even though the experts have conflicting opinions on how much protein we should eat or whether we should be gluten free, we do know that cutting down on our sugar intake, eating less processed foods, and eating more fresh vegetables and fruits is healthy.

We can train our palate to enjoy eating healthy! The less sweets we eat, the less we will crave it.

“It is not good to eat too much honey…” PROVERBS 25:27 NLT

• Aim to go to sleep and wake up at the same time to get into a rhythm.

• Get out in the sunlight! Some researchers have found that people who got more of the morning sun tended to fall asleep faster and wake up less compared to those who got less morning sun. Consider taking a walk for 10-15 minutes in the early morning sun.

• Don’t drink caffeine late in the day.

• Refrain from taking a long nap during the day!

• Improve your bedroom environment so it is comfortable and conducive for a good night’s sleep. Reduce the noise (get earplugs if you must). Your body was created to sleep in the dark so make your room as dark as possible.

SLEEP.

Are you a night owl? Getting enough sleep is vital for your health! Plants and animals alike take time to rest and well…sleep, so to speak. Even God rested. A good night’s sleep restores and refreshes your body.

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine has recommended that teenagers should sleep 8–10 hours per day!

But it is not only the quantity of sleep, but the quality of sleep that is important as well.

“...he grants sleep to those he loves…”

PSALM 127:2 NIV

47

“For everything there is a season,

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

a time for every activity under heaven.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to search and a time to quit searching.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to love and a time to hate.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

A time for war and a time for peace.”

ECCLESIASTES 3:1-8 NLT

JOURNAL THIS It can be helpful to acknowledge the season you are in. Knowing your current season can bring understanding and a level of embracing this time, all the while seeking to know what God is doing. Remember that seasons change in time!

Looking at this passage, what season do you think you are in? You can choose a phrase from the passage above or use your own words to describe the season you are in. Why did you describe your current season this way?

ONE DAY AT A TIME

48

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

flourish.

49

She Persev

50

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E PERSEVERES

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we

know that they help us develop

endurance. And endurance

develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.

And this hope will not lead to

disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he

has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our

veres. hearts with his love.”

ROMANS 5:3-5 NLT

JOU RN EY 02 • CHAPTER 12

51

SHE WALKS ON WATER

BY SILVIA HOFFMANBECK

Sometimes we must persevere in keeping our eyes on Jesus and not on the storm around us.

W

alking on water…think about it. Is it even possible to defy the laws of nature to walk on water? Only two human beings were able to defy nature's laws by the power of faith: Peter and Jesus Christ.

(Matthew 14:22-33) Let us talk about Peter for a minute.

There was nothing extraordinary about Peter. He was stubborn, high-tempered, and impulsive like all of us can be at times. Yet, he was able to walk on water.

The only thing that set him apart from others was that he dared to be different, did not settle for the status quo, and had a passion to be near to Jesus. Peter was daring, and I would say, extremely brave. He wanted to truly follow every step Jesus took, including those famous steps on water.

I imagine Peter said to his friend, “Jesus, I want to walk on water with you!”

Jesus answered, “Yes, Come!” I envision Jesus invited Peter to walk on water with Him as if it was the most natural thing to do!

I am filled with admiration when I imagine how Peter took a deep breath and, with courage and faith, stepped out of the boat and walked on water towards Jesus.

52

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

How would you feel if you were on that boat watching Peter get out of his comfort zone to walk in faith towards the Lord? I would have been gasping for air and covering my mouth, trying not to scream in shock!

Peter was brave. He knew that as long as he was walking towards his friend Jesus, Jesus would not fail him, and he would be safe.

However, Peter soon looked away from

Jesus and gazed upon the stormy sea. In that moment of doubt and distraction, he started sinking and screamed, “Lord, save me!” Like many of us would be, Peter got distracted by the frightening waves that surrounded him and feared he would be overpowered by them.

Then, Jesus to the rescue! Jesus immediately grabbed Peter’s hand and asked, “Peter, why did you doubt?”

We all walk through life like Peter.

When we focus on the stormy waves of

Walking On Water. Painting by Silvia Hoffmanbek

confusion, problems of this world, and our challenges, we lose courage and sink into our discouragement, doubts, and fears.

In those moments, Jesus reaches his hand towards us to lift us up once again.

We just need to reach out and grab onto Him. With His compassionate love, He empowers us again. As long as we keep our eyes on Jesus, He will strengthen us to remain brave and persevere to continue walking on water with Him

above all the problems we experience in this world. Jesus is on our side. We are never alone.

us, we can start sinking. The only one who sees how truly brave, powerful, and beautiful we are, is Jesus Christ.

Peter could have listened to what his friends from the boat (or society) would have said to him: “Don't do it!” “You are not that brave,” “You do not have what it takes.”

When Peter kept his focus on Jesus, trusted Jesus, and followed his heart’s desire to go towards Jesus, Peter defied

If we look away from Jesus and allow what others say or think about us to take precedence over what Jesus sees in

nature's laws and walked on water!

Don’t give up!

Be brave. Trust Jesus…and walk on water!

53

don’t give up!

54

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, “You are my God!” My future is in your hands. Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly. Let your favor shine on your servant. In your unfailing love, rescue me.”

PSALM 31:14-16 NLT

Sometimes life can seem unbearable.

Our hearts can feel so weary from enduring torment, suffering, pain, rejection, or loneliness—and we want to give up. Maybe you have thought suicide was the only means of relief from the pain.

Explicit Movement once had a youth event for churches on the island of Oahu. Youth from many churches attended. In our break-out workshop for just girls, about 150 girls filled the room.

We had an activity where we discovered over 80% of the girls had struggled or currently struggled with suicidal thoughts. It was a significant healing moment for many when they realized they were not the only ones struggling.

You are NOT alone.

Cry out and vent to God! Here are some scriptures that may comfort you knowing even famous King David in the Bible felt so depressed and hopeless at times—BUT He turned to God and was real before Him with his thoughts and feelings. Through seemingly unbearable pain, David continued to trust and hope in God and God was faithful. Draw life, strength and hope from His Word today if you are struggling! God is speaking to you.

God gives you strength to CHOOSE LIFE! “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses.

Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life.”

DEUTERONOMY 30:19-20 NLT

“I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me. When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.”

PSALM 94:18-19 NLT

“We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield.”

PSALM 33:20 NLT

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.

JEREMIAH 29:11-13 NLT

STRUGGLING WITH SUICIDE TO SUNNY-SIDE-UP: FINDING HOME

BY DAWN O’BRIEN

W

e are all just children trying to find home. I was nine when my parents got divorced. Done were the years of fights, cold shoulders, unspoken words, and the YELLING! You’d think it got better, but it was like jumping from a hot sidewalk into lava.

My Mom had custody of me and three little sisters. When we got to the airport, she said goodbye. She had a one-way to California; we were headed to live with her family in a poor country. We soon found ourselves in dark places—hungry, abandoned, bullied, and abused, even sexually. And so alone. There was no help or hope; just bad and worse.

DARK PLACES

Many of us experience various types of trauma growing up. Trauma is just a word for intense bad things that happen to good kids and can cause them to make bad choices, like self-harm and suicide, or smoking, drinking, drugging, etc. Toxic stress from these traumas can damage brain development (yikes!) and are linked to mental illness and chronic health problems later in life.

The CDC (Center for Disease Control) Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study is one of the largest research studies that investigated the connection between childhood traumas and later-life health and well-being. This study focused on 10 common traumas naming them Adverse Childhood Experiences known as ACEs. Have you experienced any of the following 10 ACEs? (experienced before a person turns 18 years old)

o Physical Abuse (Were you often

slapped, shoved, grabbed, or ever hit so hard that it left marks or injured you?)

o Emotional abuse (Were you often

sworn at, put down, or humiliated or made to feel afraid of being physically hurt?)

o Sexual Abuse (Did an adult or person at least 5 years older than you ever touch your body in a sexual way or attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you?) o Physical Neglect (Did you often not have enough to eat, had to wear dirty

clothes, had no protection, or were not given medical attention when you needed it?)

o Psychological neglect (Did you often

feel that nobody in your family loved you or thought you were special, or your family members did not feel close or did not support each other?)

o Addiction (Was anyone in your

household a problem drinker, an alcoholic, or addicted to street drugs?)

o Mental illness (Did a household

member suffer with depression, mental illness or attempt suicide?)

o Your mother treated violently (Did you often witness your mother treated with physical violence or threatened with a weapon?) o Separation/divorce of parents (Did you parents ever get separated or divorced?) o Incarcerated (Did a household member ever go to prison?)

Having ONE is damaging to a child; a high score is four or more. How many do you have? Being mindful of this may

55

help you to seek healing and resolve root issues in a winning way to possibly avoid health issues later in life.

I have nine of the 10, so I joke that I’m a poster child for ACEs. I “aced” the ACEs test, LOL! What’s not funny is the bad choices I made and dark places I ended up. Like jail. Or my darkest and loneliest place: suicide.

SUNNY SIDE UP!

When I turned 14, I was over being a throwaway kid in a dumpster world.

I planned my suicide for a Sunday afternoon. I walked into a church to say my last prayers but God “read my mail!”

Pastor was talking about suicide, a man in our church had tried and failed. “‘God never meant harm for you,’” the pastor quoted the Bible, “‘but for a future and a hope,’ Jeremiah 29:11!”

That hit harder than a bullet, deeper than any pill. Pastor finished, “Someone here today is at the end of their rope, let’s pray! Will you allow Jesus to come into your dark places and heal your heart?” For the first time since my parents’ divorce I saw tears flowing out of my eyes and down my cheeks.

My life flipped upside-right from death and darkness to life and light. It’s a roller coaster ride as I’m still working

it out…but OH THE RIDE! Friend, you’re reading this for a reason: God wants you to know you’re loved beyond the mess and darkness. He really does have a plan for a future and a hope, and there IS HELP! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Find a trusted church leader, teacher, or school counselor and get help! There are people in your community who care and want to help and support you.

I found out home is a very real hope, Jesus Christ. May you find home in His heart too!

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS

56

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

JOURNAL

You are smarter and stronger than

you realize.

God wastes nothing!

57

She Prote

58

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E PROTECTS

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.”

PROVERBS 4:23 AMP

JOU RN EY 02 • CHAPTER 13

ects.

59

GUARDING YOUR HEART

BY CHARIS LOGAN

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

PROVERBS 4:23 NLT

W

hen I was a teenager, I’m pretty sure I was the only one who was not allowed to have a boyfriend…and actually didn’t. From before middle school, my parents and I had many conversations about how the purpose of dating is for marriage, so I was not allowed to date until after I graduated from high school.

They would tell me, “Just have fun!

Save yourself from needless heartache and drama. Have lots of friends of the opposite gender. And guard your heart!”

And I listened. Yes, there was a bit of fear in me of getting in trouble. But even more than that, I respected my parents and didn’t ever want anything to come between us, which I knew a lie of that size would. Although that was in place, it was definitely not easy to fulfill this commitment!

I was a “late bloomer” and guys didn’t start to notice me until 9th grade. Until then, I just saw myself as “the friend” and truly didn’t mind it. Of course, all that changed when I started to notice that guys were starting to notice me.

“Just don’t tell them,” they would say.

“It could be our little secret.” But I would confidently stay firm on my decision, to which they would reply, “Well, don’t worry…I’ll wait for you.”

60

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

I can’t tell you how many times I heard that same conversation play out. What became even more predictable was when they would inevitably grow tired of waiting and move on to the next girl who was ready to be their girlfriend.

It was not easy to see and hear about how this guy who seemed so interested in me—who told me that I was beautiful, amazing, and worth the wait—was now dating and sleeping with some other girl (you know how word gets around). Yes, it hurt and crushed me. Every. Single. Time.

But each time it happened; I grew stronger. I learned something especially important about boys: Never trust what a guy says, trust what he does.

Looking back on my teenage years, I can honestly say that I have no regrets when it comes to the guy arena. There is never a day that I look back and wish that I had disobeyed my parents and dated. Seeing the guy’s true motive and character (after the fact), I’m pretty sure I know how it would’ve ended— needless heartache.

I grew up hearing people quote Proverbs 4:23, telling me to “guard my heart.”

I never really knew what that meant.

Sure, that sounds good. But what does it actually look like? Only after being well into my adult years did I realize that my experience of not dating as a teenager helped to equip me in guarding my heart. When I did start dating, heartache did come along with it, but thankfully (for the most part) it wasn’t needless.

You want to guard your heart because it is so precious and valuable. When you do this, as Proverbs 4:23 says, it will determine the course of your life.

HERE ARE SOME TIPS ON HOW TO GUARD YOUR H.E.A.R.T. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DO START DATING: Honesty

Be honest with yourself, with God, and others. You don’t have to tell the whole world when you are crushing on someone but begin by being honest with yourself and talk to God about it! As this crush starts to evolve, be honest with people who love you and love Jesus. Once you start to hide things, it gets easier to rationalize and justify poor choices. Deceit only leads to a bad relationship.

Emotions come second

Your feelings for someone are not necessarily controllable, but your actions are. You may have heard the term, follow your heart. What I like to say in this situation is, “Don’t follow your heart (emotions/feelings), follow your head!” Do not let your emotions rule you and make the decisions for you.

One of the best ways to guard your heart and have a clear head when trying to figure out if a person is for you, is to not let the relationship get physical. I know that it’s hard to not hold hands and hug for hours (and all the other stuff too)! But trust me, when we get physically and sexually involved, it messes with our head then suddenly, things are not so clear anymore.

Accountability

Find someone that you respect, love, and want to imitate to hold you accountable in guarding your heart. However, you cannot expect all the responsibility to fall on this accountability partner. Remember, accountability starts with YOU. You may have heard the phrase, don’t ask, don’t tell. With accountability,

the phrase should be, don’t ask, DO tell. This basically means that even if your accountability partner is not asking all the hard questions, you have assumed the responsibility to share ALL. Just because they did not ask the right question, does not mean that you don’t share it.

When you do date, another good form of accountability is to have others around you. There will be less temptation to get physical and it’s a good way to see how your boyfriend interacts with others. Is he the same person with you as he is with his friends? That will show a lot about his character.

Risk management

High Risk Management is a business term that is used when a business is venturing out. It basically means that before they make any big decisions, they must consider all the RISKS (e.g., liability, accidents, uncertainty in economy and finances, natural disasters, etc.).

The same thing should be included in the process of a relationship. Because your heart is so precious, you should take into considerations all the RISKS. Taking it to the next level could jeopardize your friendship or risk getting your heart broken. It is wise to consider all the risks before making a big decision like this.

Trust in father god

Ultimately, the most important tip to guarding your heart is to TRUST THE FATHER. Boundaries are good (and I am for them!),

but the driving force behind guarding your heart should be your relationship with God. He knows the deepest parts of your heart; even the parts that you are unaware of!

So, when you start to have a crush on someone, let Him be the first One that you talk to about it! He loves to hear the things on your heart because He deeply and genuinely cares. Tell Him how you are feeling, ask Him questions, tell Him when you’re frustrated!

Lastly, can you trust that God is for you? Can you trust that He is an amazing Father who only wants to give you His very BEST? The truth is, you can trust Him! “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.

Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7 NLT

Let His peace guard your mind and heart, knowing that you have nothing to worry about.

One of my mentors told me this when I was a teenager and I never forgot it:

Bury your heart so deep in God that when a man wants it, he has to go to Jesus to find it.

61

In the same way, if we are striving to be good, lovely and admirable people we have to be careful about what we add or mix into our minds and souls. In Philippians 4:8 NIV, Paul puts it this way:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO! Protecting Your Soul

BY ELISA NAKAMURA Whenever I am in a new situation: moving to a new town, starting a new job, joining a new group, this cake has been a sure-fire way to make new friendships!

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees F˚

1 1 3 8 ½ 1

box chocolate cake mix (devil's food or regular chocolate) box chocolate pudding mix large eggs ounces sour cream cup oil cup water

So we need to be selective about what we allow ourselves to watch, listen to and contemplate. We may tell ourselves, well it's only this one horror movie or that the pornography is just my little secret or the sarcastic angry YouTuber is just funny...but all of that is going into the mix of our souls. Jesus said that we are defiled by what comes out of us—and those defiling things come out of our hearts. So where do our hearts get those things? They come in through the windows of our eyes and ears. Being picky about what you let into your mind and heart is a smart move.

Put all ingredients together in a bowl and mix until combined (batter may be slightly lumpy).

Add 2 cups chocolate chips & mix.

Spray a bundt pan with non-stick spray, then pour batter evenly into the pan. Bake for 1 hour, turn the oven off and open the door slightly. Allow the cake to remain in the oven for another hour with the heat off.

To serve: Remove cake from the oven and place a plate face down over the top

so that it covers the entire pan. Flip the pan & plate over together and remove the pan just before serving. This cake is rich enough to serve without icing, but if you want you can heat 1 cup of chocolate chips and 1/2 cup of whipping cream on low, whisking gently until a creamy chocolate glaze forms. Drizzle this over the cake before serving.

Optional: Go into the yard and get a teeny tiny piece of dog poop and add it to your

batter. No one will ever see it or even taste it. It will just be your little secret.

Wait! No! Who would ever ever do that? Of course you wouldn't want to make or

eat anything like that! Gross! You only want good, wholesome and delicious things in your cake, right?

62

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

But what if I already have a bunch of junk in there? Good news—unlike a cake, there is a way to get the gunk out of us—his name is Jesus! “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”( I John 1:9, NIV).

Jesus came to cleanse us from all that yuck that we may have let inside our hearts & minds. He never loses sight of the honorable, admirable, praiseworthy person he made you to be—even if you have. He will say to you exactly what he has said to even the worst of us, “Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” So, confess to him, loosen those things from inside of you and replace them with movies, books, and words from your own mouth that are pure, right, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy.

OH EVE!!!

BY SHANNON MAROCCO

“Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame” GEN 2:25 NLT

“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked…”

GENESIS 3:6,7 NIV

*Shock *Regret *Pain *Loss Can you imagine what that moment must have felt like for Eve? Her eyes were OPENED but not how she thought.

The crafty serpent promised her everything yet left her with nothing but the awareness of her nakedness and shame. Just seconds before she had it ALL: beauty, love, abundance, pure joy and God’s unadulterated presence.

There were no shadows in Eden, no discord, no disorder, or fear, no SIN! Now everything had changed. She was left with the reality of her CHOICE! ONE CHOICE! A choice that caused her to reject God’s instructions and do her own thing. Her revelation became her NAKEDNESS not her DEITY. I believe in that moment Eve wished, with every fiber in her body, that she could take back that impulsive choice to disobey and eat the forbidden fruit.

The truth is we are all like EVE to some extent…

We have all experienced temptation and sin, guilt and shame, regret and defeat. And just like Eve, Satan deceives us with clever combinations of outright lies, half-truths, and falsehoods disguised as truths. We all have tried to cover our mistakes with our own fruitless efforts, thinking that our only option was run and hide.

Sister, let me tell you that the devil always makes you feel like there is no way out of your mess. That’s when you need to tell him to just SHUT UP! He is the father of lies and will try to trip you up every time. Satan’s objective is to drive a wedge between you and God. That’s why you must remember that God loves and adores you! He created you wonderfully, beautifully, and intentionally! He gave everything to YOU.

3. SIN. “...so she took some of the fruit and

ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it too. At that moment their eyes were opened...”

(Genesis 3:6-7 NLT) There it is folks; sin entered the world.

4. SHAME. “…and they suddenly felt

shame at their nakedness. So, they sewed fig leaves together to COVER themselves.”

(Genesis 3:7 NLT) 5. BLAME. “...The Lord asked “Have

you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?” The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.”

(Genesis 3:11,12 NLT) Now that we established how the enemy works let’s talk about how you can stand against the CYCLE OF SIN!

SO WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM THIS STORY? HOW CAN WE GUARD OUR PURITY AND NOT FALL PREY TO THE ENEMY'S SCHEMES?

RESIST THE LIES

I am so glad you asked. First, I want to bring your attention to how the enemy works every time. It’s the same old tricks. He wants to get you caught in the CYCLE OF SIN. This is how it works.

James 4:7 NIV, says “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

1. DOUBT. First, Satan plants seeds

of doubt in your mind. “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” (Genesis 3:1) His aim is to get you to question God’s goodness, love, and motives.

2. LIES. Secondly, he deposits lies.

“You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”

(Genesis 3:4-5 NLT)

When the enemy starts planting seeds of doubt and whispering lies, fight him with God's Word.

If you keep allowing him access to your mind, he will take up residence. You need to ask yourself, do my thoughts and feelings align with the word? If they don’t, they could easily be the enemy trying to trip you up. Rebuke those thoughts (lies) and ask God to reveal the truth.

REFUSE TO SETTLE

Secondly, determine in your heart that you are going to refuse to settle for anything but God’s best. One of my favorite illustrations clearly paints the picture of keeping your standards high.

“Girls are like apples on trees…the best ones are at the top of the tree…but the boys

63

are afraid to reach for them because they don’t want to fall and hurt themselves. So instead, they pick the ones on the ground…. which are not too good…but EASY...that is why the apples at the top think that there is something wrong with them...they are AMAZING. That’s why girls just need to be patient and wait for the one boy who is willing to climb to the top of the tree.”

• FOCUS on your studies (do not be a slacker)!

• FOCUS on being your best rather than trying to be like someone else (people want an original, not a copy).

• FOCUS on the Word (it’s your daily bread...yum)!

REWRITE YOUR STORY

No matter what your past looks like or how you have fallen into sin you can rewrite your story. God sent his son Jesus to this earth to pay a ransom for your sin. Basically, he took our place.

We deserved death, but instead Jesus laid his life down for YOU! The Bible says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” (Romans 3:23 NIV).

7.7 Billion people on this earth have fallen short.

REFOCUS YOUR DESIRES

The best way to keep from falling into the enemy’s trap is to focus your attention on God's desires.

• FOCUS on your call (He has great things in store for you)!

• FOCUS on your relationship with God rather than a guy (btw God will never break up with you)!

Deep breath. You are not alone! But remember it’s not our good works or generic attempt to cover or hide our sin that saves us. We are saved only through believing in Jesus Christ…our Savior, our Redeemer, our Messiah!

Today, you can break the CYCLE OF SIN by humbling yourself and REPENTING (asking God for forgiveness). He will forgive you of your sins and make you brand NEW, washing away all your past mistakes.

Determine in your heart from here on out to RUN to God instead of running away from Him. Let Him embrace you with His loving-kindness and tender mercies.

PROTECTING THE PLEASURE, PASSION, AND THE PRICELESS DIAMOND God’s Gift of Sex

BY MICHELE OKIMURA “God is the author of sex. In the beginning, God made mankind male and female, and blessed their lives with a big YES: Yes, have a fulfilling, abundant life! Yes, have lots of sex! Yes, make lots of babies! Yes, fill the Earth! The only time God said no to sex was when sex was not protected, or maybe we should say, when we were not protected. God never designed sex to be experienced a la carte. It is part of a package deal…”

HAVILAH CUNNINGTON, THE NAKED TRUTH ABOUT SEXUALITY

Why should you protect your sexual integrity? The culture says, “Why not have sex before marriage? Go pleasure yourself, its fine!” Many in our society, maybe even your friends would say that it is abnormal to not have sex before marriage.

Does God love sex? He created it and designed it.

God gave you and I a sex drive! This is not a shameful thing! He created your

64

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

body in such a way that in adolescence, the desire to have sex begins to naturally grow—but He wants us to learn how to manage that sex drive until marriage.

In the beginning before the world even began, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit existed. Our amazing God, three in One! In the Bible, it is seen how the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit exist in love as they continually honor and lift each other up.

Some words that would describe their relationship would be: *Committed *Compassionate *Pure *Serving *Encouraging *Safe

*Honoring *Unity *Intimate *Harmonious *Joyful *Trusting

God created Adam and Eve, male and female in His image. Together

they more completely reflected the image of God. God intended that they would share the same type of loving relationship that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit had. It was in this context of a committed, safe relationship, that God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply. It was as if God was saying, “Adam and Eve, go ahead and have amazing, passionate sex and the fruit of your union will be children!”

Want to have the best sex ever?

Then understand that God created and designed sex to happen within the context of marriage—in a committed, loving relationship between a husband and a wife.

I want to make you aware. You have an enemy, Satan, whose passion and focus is to destroy your life and therefore your destiny in God. If you study the false gods of the Old Testament such as Baal, Asherah, and Molech, they were all about twisting and distorting sexuality contrary to God’s design. Distorting God’s design for sexuality may be the NUMBER ONE tactic Satan uses to destroy lives and families when you consider issues of epidemic proportions such as pornography and sex addictions, prostitution, adultery, and the evils of sexual abuse, and sex trafficking.

Bling. Who doesn’t like diamonds? God loves bling because He created all kinds of precious bling—rubies, emeralds, sapphires, diamonds and more!

There are real diamonds, and then there are those counterfeit diamonds like rhinestones or cubic zirconia. God doesn’t want his children to settle for counterfeits. He wants them to have the real deal.

In short, diamonds have many facets that reflect light. This is what makes the diamond so beautiful! God’s design for sex is much like a priceless diamond. Within marriage, sex is a sacred, beautiful, intimate gift to a married couple that is blessed by God. God designed sex with many glorious facets that can only be experienced within marriage.

miracle working God. If this is you, seek help such as professional counseling to begin or continue your healing journey!

Find safe friends and family who will support you in your healing process.

Your Father is a good, good Father who created the good, good gift of pleasurable, passionate, loving, sex for married couples.

Let us understand that there is a battle to the honeymoon we must enter, but it is worth the fight Beloved!

“Anyone can give away something expensive, but only those who understand Research even shows that married couples overall enjoy the most satisfying, sacrifice can give away loving, thriving sex lives in society. something valuable.”

If you have already lost your virginity outside of marriage, God’s heart reaches out to you as He desires to heal and restore you to sexual faithfulness, to His ways. He wants to take away any shame from you because He is a God of grace and new beginnings! If this is you, commit afresh to sexual integrity and connect to a godly mentor who can support you in your efforts.

If you have been sexually abused, God so desires to heal your wounded heart, remove your shame, and restore you to wholeness. He gives you a hope for a great future and destiny…He is a

KRIS VALLOTON, MORAL REVOLUTION: THE NAKED TRUTH ABOUT SEXUAL PURITY.

Whether we get married or not in this lifetime, ultimately God desires for us to all enjoy eternal pleasures, which is found as we follow Him!

“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”

PSALM 16:11 NIV

“When your thoughts are ruled by your private parts, you can come to the craziest conclusions, which will affect the rest of your life. That is why it is so important for you to invite people into your life who can help to oversee your romantic relationships and give you some honest feedback.”

KRIS VALLOTON

65

You wanna know a secret? Well, most of my business is already out there on the streets, so I guess I don’t have too many secrets.

Growing up, I didn’t think my life would look like this. I never wanted to be a woman with five husbands. When the first one left, and then the next, and the next...

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t even know if the guy I was with at the time was going to abandon me too. Every girl prays she will get a husband that adores her, respects her, protects her, but that was not how the cards fell for me. I was far from being adored and I certainly wasn’t respected. Protected? Well, let’s not get into that.

/desire/.

For some of you reading this, you have already lost your virginity whether you did it just once or have been sexually active.

God is a God of grace and chances. As you come to Him with a repentant heart and ask Him for forgiveness, He restores you and gives you a fresh start once again. He wants to wash away your shame.

From this point going forward, commit yourself to protecting your purity in Him. Remember, purity starts with having a pure heart.

Meet this one woman who had lots of sex outside of marriage...but then she met Jesus and everything changed.

Desire. My heart was full of desire for love. For validation.

For life. For hope. I met this man Jesus, and everything changed.

He asked me for a drink of water that day and actually talked to me—the one person in town that people hated. It’s like he saw me, the one who felt invisible. He knew everything about me that was shameful, yet his eyes held no judgment. Only compassion.

That one conversation we had changed my life. How He did that, I don’t know. I just know the shame, the pain, this dark thing I felt following me everywhere just disappeared! I felt alive for the first time.

Come now! Meet this man Jesus who knew everything about me and knows everything about you! This man Jesus who says to you, “YOU are my great Desire!”

A CREATIVE NARRATIVE WRITTEN

BY TINASHA LARAYE BASED ON THE SAMARITAN WOMAN IN JOHN 4:1-28

66

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

THE GREAT EXCHANGE

BY MIKELA KOBAYASHI

I

knew all the statistics about sexually transmitted infections, teen pregnancy, and contraceptives. However, no one prepared me for the emotional damage that accompanied sex before marriage.

I was a sophomore in high school when I got into my first relationship. He was kind and funny, so naturally I was attracted to him. Several months into our relationship, we started becoming more physical. At the same time, the older girls in my dance classes would tell stories about what they did with their boyfriends and encouraged me that as long as I loved my boyfriend, it was okay to adventure further.

So, we did.

school when I got the news that my boyfriend had been sleeping with another girl! At that moment, I lost all self-control and let my whole world crumble to the ground. I had never felt such intense pain, anger, or betrayal.

For years afterwards, I would look into the mirror and see someone who was inadequate, forgotten, slutty, damaged goods, and unwanted. Yet my heart was still so desperate to be loved.

As I entered into my first years of college, I also entered into new relationships.

Except this time, I developed friendships with faithful young women who genuinely loved Jesus. Being around these women challenged me to meet this Jesus they loved so much.

Once I let Jesus into my heart, I was conflicted with a choice to either continue to live by my hopeless identity and lifestyle or to plunge 100% into a life with Jesus. I remember the moment

I sat in my green Honda Civic with tears flooding from my eyes, crying out to Jesus saying, “I don’t want to live a double life anymore! I want You, Jesus!”

As I took a step towards Jesus, I also took a step towards vulnerability and healing. I let Jesus come into the deepest, most embarrassing parts of my heart so He could heal it. On this journey of healing, I traded the attributes I believed about myself for the truth of who He said I was. I traded inadequate for worthy. Forgotten for important. Slutty for pure. Damaged goods for beauty. Unwanted for loved much.

You too can make this trade. I want you to know, there is nothing that is unforgivable. There’s no secret too deep, no lie too heavy, no fear too powerful that Jesus cannot heal and restore. Take a step towards Jesus. Trust Him. Make the great exchange.

What those girls did not prepare me for “To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for was the amount of jealousy, self-doubt, ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise and attachment that would come with giving up my virginity. Then, it got worse. instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like One morning during my senior year, I was chatting with my girlfriends before

great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.”

ISAIAH 61:3 NLT

67

She Spark

68

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E SPARKLES

Sparkle!

You will inspire those

around you!

JOU RN EY 02 • CHAPTER 14

69

kles.

sparkle!

The world needs your twinkling.

How many people do you think would be affected if you turned off your shining light? The truth is, you have no idea how many lives your sparkle will inspire and impact in your lifetime!

Will you go past your comfort zone and step bravely into the unknown to sparkle more of who you are—a gift to this world? The choice is yours. The moments you do step out are moments to celebrate—and are certainly moments that God celebrates!

DISCOVER / ACCEPT / EMBRACE /

CELEBRATE YOU!

There are so many various temperament and personality tests you can take to discover more of your design that are worth taking. Some are even free online! Explore and take some of those tests to discover more of who you are, who you are not, and your strengths and weaknesses.

You will be continually changing, maturing, and blossoming forth throughout your life, but God created you with a unique, specific design that you will continually grow into more and more fully as you follow Him! It will be a process and an interesting journey as you discover the facets of your own sparkle and live it out!

We each have unique…

• personalities and temperaments • past experiences • insights and knowledge • ways we think about things • gifts, talents, and abilities • spiritual gifts • strengths and weaknesses • callings and destinies • passions and creative expressions

CHECK OUT SPIRITUAL GIFTS! “God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.”

I PETER 4:10, NLT

“If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging.

If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.”

ROMANS 12:7-8 NLT, BOLD ADDED

And so much more!

OUR DEEPEST FEAR

BY MARIANNE WILLIAMSON

70

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small Does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

ACTIVITY Let’s have some fun! Take a look at these four common groupings of traits that generally separate personality types (of course we can have traits in more than one group, but we usually will relate strongest to one type).

Note that the Myer Briggs personality test has broken it down further to 16 personality types and combinations!

Which one do you most identify with?

• • • • • • • • • •

ANALYTICAL ORGANIZED PERFECTIONIST ORDERLY AND FACTUAL LOVES ROUTINE PROMPT/MEETS DEADLINES RESERVED PERSEVERING INQUISITIVE DETAILED AND METICULOUS

• • • • • • •

TASK-ORIENTED DOES WELL UNDER PRESSURE NATURAL LEADER – TAKES CHARGE COMPETITIVE DECISIVE AND BOLD COMMUNICATES TO THE POINT TENDS TO DIRECTLY CONFRONT WHEN IN A CONFLICT • ENJOYS CHALLENGES • SELF-RELIANT

We are all meant to shine, As children do.

We were born to make manifest The glory of God that is within us.

• • • • • • • • • •

FEELS EMOTIONS FRIENDLY AND RELATIONAL TEAM-ORIENTED EASY GOING AND NON-DEMANDING GOOD LISTENER CARES A LOT ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF THEM VALUES HARMONY LOYAL TENDS TO WANT TO AVOID CONFLICT SYMPATHETIC AND NURTURING

• • • • • • • • • •

ADVENTUROUS NATURAL PROMOTER AND MOTIVATOR ENERGETIC ENJOYS BEING SPONTANEOUS FREE-SPIRITED TAKES RISKS VERY VERBAL AND MIXES EASILY NATURAL VISIONARY OPTIMISTIC LIKES VARIETY

WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT?

It's not just in some of us; It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we're liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others.

71

How many people does it take to make a difference? One.

One song can spark a moment, One flower can wake the dream.

One tree can start a forest, One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship, One handclasp lifts a soul.

One candle wipes out darkness, One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey, One word must start a prayer.

One hope will raise our spirits, One touch can show you care.

One star can guide a ship at sea, One word can frame a goal.

One vote can change a nation, One sunbeam lights a room.

One voice can speak with wisdom, One heart can know what’s true.

One life can make a difference, That difference starts with you.

-UNKNOWN

ACTIVITY: Write down nice things people have said about you.

Choose one thing to meditate on each day.

72

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

pssst!

5

secrets for shining “It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.”

MARY DUNBAR

“Shine with all you have.”

KATELYN S. IRONS

Are you ready for more blooming?

You can tear this out or take a photo of this to remind yourself of these stepping stones that will point you in the right direction!

1.GROWING IS GOOD!

Be teachable. Be humble enough to grow from every experience. With our many imperfections, we are all in the process of becoming more like Jesus.

What is God trying to teach you or say to you through your circumstances? Is He trying to grow in you compassion?

Confidence? Trust? Ask Him. “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” MAYA ANGELOU “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.”

JAMES 1:5-6 NLT

2. CARE FOR YOURSELF God cares so much for you, therefore practice self-care. Love and value yourself in healthy ways. If you have experienced any trauma, get help for your healing! Grow in emotional, mental, and physical health! Give your burdens to God in prayer and get refueled by spending solitude time with God—Jesus did!

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

I PETER 5:7 NIV

3.FIND YOUR TRUE FRIENDS:

Some friends build you up while others can drain your energy. Reflect on the advice your close friends are giving you. Are they safe, wise, and trustworthy? Do they want what’s best for you? Consider their maturity and character before giving them your ear on important matters. Good friends lift you up. Sometimes it can be a painful, lonely season trying to find true friends.

If this is you, continue to persevere and keep asking for God’s provision!

At the same time, we can all work on becoming that true friend to others!

“There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.”

PROVERBS 18:24 NLT

4.PASSION AND FOCUS

Seek to discover activities you enjoy and look for opportunities to dive in!

Your Creator designed you with unique interests, skills, gifts, and talents!

Explore things that interest you. Do more of what you love. Chances are, it is connected in some way to your purpose and God-given destiny!

“Find something you’re passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.”

JULIA CHILD

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

EPHESIANS 2:10 NLT

5.STAY TRUE TO YOU

We all have those moments when we find ourselves comparing ourselves to someone, experiencing rejection, or feeling intimidated by someone due to their status, looks, or otherwise. The desire to please others to fit in and belong is real! Staying true to yourself can be easier said than done. Ask God to help you be your most authentic, genuine self and help you to find friends who appreciate you for being you!

God knows you best—more than you know yourself! Journal by compiling a list of positive words that describes how God sees you.

“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.”

MATTHEW 5:14-16 NLT

73

M IND F UL LET T ERING Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

Action Steps

YOU GO GIRL! LET’S WALK IT OUT. she is Brave & Beautiful you!

••

She Blooms.

She Perseveres.

She Protects.

She Sparkles.

CHOOSE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS STEPS: 1. Purchase a flowering plant or buy seeds to grow a flowering plant. Follow the care instructions as

best you can. Use this plant as a reminder to bloom where you are! Whether you are successful or not

in growing the plant—it's ok! You just might discover you enjoy caring for plants!

2. Find a Bible verse that encourages you to not give

up! Frame it or put it on a post-it note where you will see it regularly. Commit it to memory!

3. If you want to commit to walking in sexual integrity, in saving the gift of sex for marriage from this

point onward, ask a mentor or mature friend to support you.

sexual integrity. Interview successful couples you

know of who are walking in or have walked in sexual integrity to gather ideas to consider and practice.

4. When we think of sparkling, visions of glittery jewels can easily come to mind. God seems to love bling

because gems are referenced throughout the Bible.

Gems have historical and cultural meanings. Pick a gem below that represents attributes you aspire to

have. Take a screenshot photo of that gem and write down its attributes as a reminder of ways you want to sparkle.

Diamond: Purity/Commitment/Faithfulness/Love

Invite this person to check in with you to see how your relationship is going, making sure to cover

sexual integrity. Be honest! They will help you to not give in to sexual temptation, help to protect your heart, and help to keep you safe.

Ruby: Nobility/Passion/Purity

Emerald: Balance/Harmony/Growth/Abundance Amethyst: Peace/Calm/Wisdom/Hope

Sapphire: Virtue/Wisdom/Holiness/Royalty

Aqua Marine: Transformation/Loyalty/Truth/ Tranquility

Once you start dating, it will be especially helpful to

create safe, appropriate boundaries to protect your

1-888-373-7888

TOLL-FREE HOTLINE | 24/7 CONFIDENTIAL

Get Help Report Trafficking

75

S P A C E TO P RAC T IC E, D RAW, OR JOURNAL:

S PA C E TO P RAC T IC E, D RAW, OR JOURNAL :

M IND F UL C OLORING

“

...YOU WILL BE CALLED BY A NEW NAME THAT THE MOUTH OF THE LORD WILL BESTOW. YOU WILL BE A CROWN OF SPLENDOR IN THE LORD’S HAND, A ROYAL DIADEM IN THE HAND OF YOUR GOD. ISAIAH 62:2-3 NIV

SHE RELEASES

JOURNEY 02 • PAGE 8~19

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

Look at the chart you created on page 10. Look at your highs and lows and process what caused them. What could you have done differently to change the lows so that those emotions are not repeated? What can you do to sustain the highs throughout your day?

•

Anger is a common emotion a person feels when they were hurt or offended. What ways do you commonly express your anger from the list below: - I don’t typically express my anger – I hold it in.

- I vent to others – and can fall into gossiping - I usually am passive aggressive and do things to get back at the person.

- I can blow up, raise my voice, and express how angry I am.

- Other: (fill in blank) God gets angry – even Jesus got angry. How can we feel anger, yet not sin? (Ephesians 4:26)

•

There are two types of forgiveness discussed in the text, forgiving yourself and forgiving others. What type of forgiveness is easy for you and what type is difficult? Why?

•

Choose one of the things that you wrote on a balloon on page 12-13. Share how you want to work on releasing it.

•

Galatians 5:22-23 ESV shares "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; against such things there is no law.” What fruit is growing strong in you and what fruit do you desire to have more of?

•

Would you like prayer for in either forgiving yourself or someone else? (*Tell the group that they do not have to go into details or name names, but just voice their desire to forgive themselves or someone who hurt them). Pray for each person that God would heal their hearts and enable them to forgive.

ACTIVITIES ACROSTIC POEM

Materials Needed: • Journal • Brave & Beautiful Magazine Instructions: Create an acrostic poem using one of the words from Audrey Hepburn's quote on page 19 (restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, redeemed) to give encouragement to release unforgiveness.

2A

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

FORGIVING MYSELF Materials Needed: • Journal or stationery

• Pen

Instructions: Write a forgiveness letter to yourself, expressing gentleness and forgiveness for something you regret doing or saying that still bothers you. Conclude the forgiveness letter with a statement of forgiveness, understanding, lessons learned, and positive outlook going forward.

FORGIVENESS ROLE PLAY Materials Needed: Prepare role playing cards prepared in advance. Each card will state a different scenario.

Examples of content: •

"Your classmate shared your poor test grade with other students in the class."

•

"Your friend didn't show up for lunch in the cafeteria as usual and you saw her eating with another group."

•

“Your father did not encourage you when you were going to take your driving test"

•

"Your mother did not acknowledge you when you helped her clean the floor," etc.

Instructions: •

Explain that you will do role playing activities to practice asking for forgiveness and giving forgiveness.

Share how when you know you did something that offended someone, its best to go beyond just saying, “Sorry.” What is ideal is to get into the habit of saying, “Will you please forgive me for (name specifically what you did)?” Share that this role playing activity will give them practice in asking for forgiveness in this way.

Discuss that when someone asks you to forgive them, an ideal response is, “I forgive you.” However, if you still feel upset about the offense, you can express yourself honestly, yet graciously by saying something like, “I forgive you. I am still upset and hurt and will need some time to heal or cool down.

Thank you for acknowledging what you did. That means a lot and I know it took courage for you to come to me.”

•

There are many situations, and each situation may call for slightly different steps, but asking for forgiveness and giving forgiveness is a great general practice to forgive as God calls us to forgive.

•

Model one situation in front of the group as an example of what you want them to do when they pair up.

•

Have each girl choose a card and sit with a partner. Have them decide who will be the person asking for forgiveness, and the one giving forgiveness to start off. Have the girls practice giving and receiving forgiveness by role playing using the scenario cards. *Have them take turns in the role playing so each person has a chance to ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness.

2B

SHE TRUSTS

JOURNEY 02 • PAGE 20~27

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

What is something that you were afraid of as a young child?

•

We can have many fears. Any of you have any phobias/big fears—like you freak out if there is a lizard in your room, or a spider? Maybe you are afraid of heights or of riding on airplanes. What are they? (as a leader share any of your phobias if you have any!)

•

Discuss how we can struggle with fears such as -

fear of rejection fear of failure fear of what others think fear of what the future holds fear of getting sick fear of getting a certain someone you know angry…and more.

•

What are some helpful tips you have learned and can apply to yourself when you realize you are fearful or anxious?

•

What does the Lord say about coming to Him with your fears and worries?

•

Talk about someone you really trust and share why it is easy to trust him/her. What does it mean to trust God? How would trusting in God help you to face your fears and anxiety?

•

With the vast amounts of social media in our lives, how do you filter what you can trust when being involved in any type of social media? Does social media bring fear and anxiety to your emotions or are you able to filter it? Share your tools or your struggles with a small group.

•

What is something you are anxious about now or are often fearful about? Pray for one another about those fears.

ACTIVITY GOD IS MY ROCK Materials Needed: • • • •

A Medium or large river rock for each girl (can be found in garden supply stores) One large rock big enough they can stand on (like a steppingstone) Bibles for each person Paint pens (colored sharpie pens may also work)

Instructions:

2C

1.

Explain that there are over 50 verses in the Bible about God being our rock. We can stand on the Lord Our Rock when we are afraid and anxious! Have each girl stand barefoot on the large steppingstone for several seconds to help them connect to God as their Rock to firmly stand on!

2.

Have the girls read aloud the following Bible verses: Psalm 18:2, Psalm 61:2, and Psalm 31:3

3.

Have each girl find a quote, Bible passage or word that is a solid reminder to themselves to trust God with their fears and anxious thoughts. They simply love the words: FEAR NOT, TRUST GOD!

4.

Have them use paint pens to write their words on their smooth rock. Remind them to use this rock as a reminder that God is their rock, their shelter, and strength when they are anxious or fearful.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

FACE THOSE FEARS! Materials Needed: • (optional) YouTube videos to preview (or you can choose your own – here are some shorter clips that are not as extreme as some others.)

[Game Show Showdown]. (2013, September 8). Walk of Fear Killer Karaoke [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/FEqlDB_rS0E [Game Show Showdown]. (2014, August 5). Fear Factor Moments Beware [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/Z_igtl4xODI • Fill three plastic gallon bags with each of the following, then place into three boxes (opened at the top so they can stick their hand in it so the girls cannot see what is in each bag: #1: Sliced olives in some oil

#2: Slime mixture of water and flour

#3: small stuffed animal

• Paper towels and hand wipes • Bibles for each person • Bible Concordance for each person Instructions: 1.

Share that at one time, the TV show Fear Factor was very popular, making people do and even eat scary things—yet participants willingly volunteered to compete with other contestants to win the competition.

2.

Introduce and show the YouTube video you chose.

3.

Have everyone share if they would willingly do what was shown in the video.

4.

Discuss why they think the show was so popular. Could part of it be it was amazing to see people push through their fears to win the competition?

5.

Share that we will have our own mini fear factor moment. They must each put their hand in box # 1 in ONE dip, feel around for 2-3 seconds, then clean off their hand. Then put their hand in boxes #2 and #3 then do the same. They need to silently guess what each item is in the bag.

6.

After they all shared, have each girl say what they think was in box #1, #2, and #3, before revealing the truth.

7.

Read Psalm 34 together

8.

Discuss what fear is: - You can experience fear if you think about possibly not getting what you want.

- Fear could also stem from thinking you will get something you don’t want - Fear could be triggered by expecting something bad is going to happen and not liking it - Fear also could be stirred up like in the game where you don’t know what you’re touching, but your mind makes it up!

9.

Note in this Psalm, David the author was SO scared, he even acted insane to protect himself! Fear can cause us to do desperate things! People in the Bible also experienced extreme anxiety and fears that caused them to do extreme things! Does anyone know of a situation when someone was so afraid, that they did something unusual or extreme? Share!

10. In what ways can fear be a good thing?

11.

God wants us to trust in Him! Have the girls use a concordance and their Bibles to find a verse they like that they can write down and share with others to help them trust God with their fears and anxieties.

12. Have the girls close in prayer regarding fears they struggle with.

2D

SHE CRIES

JOURNEY 02 • PAGE 28~36

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

For some, crying is an easy way of releasing emotions. For others, crying is looked at as being weak.

When you think about crying, what do you associate it with? Why do you feel this way? How do you think culture and past experiences shape how we think about crying?

•

Have you ever cried during worship? If yes, how did it feel? If not, were you held back by what you thought others would think? Have the group silently reread" The Declaration to Release Tears" on page 32 of Brave and Beautiful. Have each girl choose one declaration that they want to stand on when it comes to crying. Have each girl share why that particular declaration was meaningful to her.

ACTIVITY BLESSED ARE YOU WHO MOURN Materials Needed: • Marker and chart paper (tape to the wall) • Journal for each person Instructions: 1.

Read Matthew 5:4 NIV, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

2.

Have the group brainstorm situations that could cause someone sadness and grief. Record their ideas on the chart paper.

3.

Discuss how this activity reveals that we humans experience losses in a variety of ways—and sometimes we never allow ourselves to grieve the loss. Emphasize how being emotionally healthy is taking time to grieve well so we can move forward in more freedom.

4.

Discuss how God can inspire us with a poem, a sketch—or some other activity that can bring us comfort and express our hope and trust in God’s goodness.

5.

Share brief history of the following famous songs and hymns: - How He Loves: by John Mark McMillan wrote this song in the midst of grieving the death of one of his best friends.

- It is Well: Horatio G. Spafford wrote this song following the tragic death of his four children in a ship accident. He wrote the lyrics while traveling over the spot where they had drowned.

- How Great Thou Art: Carl Gustav Boberg penned this remarkable reflection on God’s majesty after witnessing an incredible thunderstorm, followed by the calm splendidness of a rainbow.

6.

2E

Have the girls reflect and journal about one sad loss they experienced in their life—or ask the Lord to bring to mind if there is a loss they buried in their memory because it was too hard to deal with.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

PILLOW COMFORT

Materials Needed: • A white/solid pastel colored pillowcase or a white/solid pastel colored pillow for each girl • Fabric markers of various colors • Newspaper/cardboard to use to keep ink from bleeding through fabric • Bible or Bible apps to find scripture

Instructions: Encourage each girl to decorate a pillowcase or a small white or solid color pillow using fabric pens. This pillow will be a tangible reminder that everyone cries and that shedding tears is not a weakness. Girls can decorate using scripture, words or symbols of comfort, and/or words or symbols of strength.

MOVIE WATCH Watch an appropriate movie as a group that often triggers crying (brainstorm in advance—possible movies like Imagine, A Walk to Remember, Lion, etc.) This is a good opportunity to release those tears in a good way!

COMFORT CARDS Materials Needed • Cardstock blank cards and envelope set for each person • Scrapbooking paper and embellishments • Glue, scissor, pens

Instructions 1.

Discuss that when someone experiences any type of loss, it is comforting to have a friend acknowledge their pain and to receive a card that validates their feelings! Expressing empathy, crying with them, and a hug can give more comfort than a lot of words. Here are some examples: - “I am so sorry for your loss.”

- “I don’t know what to say, but I want you to know I am here for you.”

- “I am praying for God’s comfort to touch you. I love and care about you so much!”

(They can include a scripture about God’s love and comfort)

2.

Give the girls time to create the cover of a card that they can use in the future to give to someone who experienced a loss. They can write 1-3 short sentences inside for the sentiment.

2F

SHE BLOOMS

JOURNEY 02 • PAGE 40~49

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

In what area do you feel you are growing and blooming? If you can’t think of any area—what area do you see at least a hint of growth and the hope of blooming?

•

If the girls know each other fairly well, have them share about each member by answering this question: In what ways do you see (name of girl) blooming? Sometimes other people see growth in us that we don’t see ourselves.

•

If the group is small enough, you can have each share their picture from page 42 and share what type of flower they picked and why they picked that flower.

•

Ask for one volunteer to share a word/phrase about the winter season (pg. 44). Continue with each season, choosing a different volunteer each time to share, or if the group is small, you may have time for each girl to share their answers.

•

Have each girl share which season best describes the season they are in right now and why.

•

Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. Which verse(s) stand out to you and why? How does that relate to what you are going through presently?

ACTIVITY SEASONAL CHARADES (GREAT ICEBREAKER) Instructions: 1.

Tell girls to think of their favorite season and choose an activity they can act out.

2.

Each girl acts out their favorite activity and the other girls need to guess what activity it is and what season(s) the activity can be done in.

BLOOMING IN WISDOM Materials Needed: • Personal journal for each girl • Pen/pencil • Brave & Beautiful Magazine • (optional) Soothing music, device to play music on • (optional) Crayons, markers, color pencils Instructions: 1.

2G

*Ahead of time, prepare individual encouraging notes for each girl on a nice card to give them at the end of this activity. Affirm them in the ways you see each girl blooming and blossoming forth.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

2.

As a leader, share your journal entry from page 46 from the section Wisdom from Every Season. Share one of your biggest mistakes in life and the lessons learned or wisdom gained.

3.

Have each girl reflect and journal about any wisdom in life they have gained from a person they have observed or interacted with—it could be wisdom gleaned from something they said or from their actions. It could even be wisdom they gleaned of what NOT to do in life, as they observed the negative consequences that came after a person made a bad choice. They can also journal any wisdom they gained from the Lord directly.

BLOOM WHERE GOD PLANTED YOU Materials Needed: • • • •

Seeds of different flowers (pick those that are easy to grow) 4-inch planter jars Potting soil Smartphone or camera for each person

Instructions: 1.

Share that the quote, “Bloom where you are planted” was originally from the Bishop of Geneva, Saint Francis De Sales. It was later made popular by artist Mary Engelbreit.

2.

Have each person explain what the quote, “Bloom where you are planted,” means to her.

3.

Have each person share ways that they are blooming where they are planted.

4.

Take a walk outside and have the girls take photos of flowers that are blooming where they are planted. Share that some flowers grow in unexpected places like in a crack in the cement or out of a rock wall.

5.

After a time of taking photos, gather together again and have each girl share their favorite photo with the group. Have each share why that picture was her favorite.

6.

Ask, “Did you learn anything new about blooming from this activity that you can apply to your life? If so, please share!” Discuss.

7.

Have the girls choose which kind of flower they want to plant and teach them how to plant their seeds in the soil in their container.

8.

Make sure that each girl understands the care instructions on how to grow that particular flower they chose, noting how much sunlight is required, how often to water, and how long it takes from seed to sprout.

9.

Encourage the girls to try this simple gardening activity to remind them to bloom where they are planted. Discuss that in order for their seeds to bloom, it requires their care and attention—just like how in order for them to bloom, they need to care for themselves with intention!

2H

SHE PERSEVERES

JOURNEY 02 • PAGE 50~57

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

As a leader, share about a time when you had to persevere through a difficult trial. What was it like?

How did you manage? What did you learn? Ask each of the girls to share about a situation or moment when they had to persevere.

•

What factors do you think contribute to someone giving up on life?

•

What factors do you think contribute to someone persevering and not giving up?

•

Share about a time, if you recall, when you chose to give up instead of persevere.

•

Who is a person in the Bible who you recall had to persevere through a most difficult time? Briefly describe their circumstance.

•

Suicide is something that touches many of us. How many of you know of a famous person, family member, someone in your school, or friend who committed suicide? If you feel comfortable, who was that person you know of?

•

Knowing that teen suicide is a real issue in America and in many other countries like Japan. Why do you think someone would get to the point of killing themselves when still a teenager?

•

Refer to the article Struggling with Suicide to Sunny Side Up : Finding Home on page 55. Looking at the 10 Adverse Childhood Experiences listed, go through the list and have everyone just share the number of traumas they have experienced on that list—including you as a leader. Affirm that so many of us go through traumas that God wants to heal so we must pursue our healing! What was a take-away from this article?

ACTIVITY SURRENDER IT ALL 1.

Before the activity, share your own example of a time you had difficulty surrendering a situation to God and trusting Him. Share how you persevered through it and how it changed you for the better. Give an example of how they should write their journal.

2.

Instruct girls to find a quiet space to journal and answer the following three questions. Set a timer for 10-15 minutes and then come back together after that time to give the next instructions. Play soothing, peaceful instrumental music if you are able.

- Are you having a hard time surrendering a difficult situation to God right now? Is it difficult or easy to trust Him with the outcome? Journal your reflection.

- Ask Father God, "What is the main thing you're saying to me about this chapter?" (Journal what comes to mind.)

- Ask Father God, "What is one thing you want me to do today or this week?" Write down what He says to do.

3.

2I

If time permits, have girls freely express their desire to persevere and trust in God by journaling, drawing, or writing a poem.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

4.

Instruct girls to get into groups of 2-3 and share their answers to the last two questions with each other.

If needed, set a time limit for each girl to share. Encourage them to close in prayer for each other.

STAND UP FOR YOUR SISTER (BEST DONE IN LARGER GROUPS OF 10 - 400 OR MORE, THE LARGER THE GROUP, THE MORE IMPACTFUL.) This activity is more age-appropriate for high school age girls. Please use your judgment if you are considering using this activity with middle school girls.

Materials needed • Brave & Beautiful book • Soaking/meditation music • Music player/speaker • Copies of Stand Up for your Sister Worksheet on next page (one copy per girl) or copies of your tailored edited version of Stand Up for Your Sister Worksheet.

• Pencil for each girl (DO NOT use pens w/ different colors) Instructions: 1.

As a leader, know that the purpose for this activity is for the girls to discover they are not alone in their struggles and in their past experiences listed in the ACES list on page 55.

2.

Distribute copies of the "Stand up for your Sister" Worksheet.

3.

Read the instructions and then have the girls fill out their worksheet by circling YES or NO for each question. Emphasize to NOT write their name on it, because we want this to be anonymous and have them feel safe to be completely honest.

4.

Collect the worksheets, shuffle the pile, and distribute randomly to the girls.

5.

Read off each statement and if a girl has a "Yes" circled next to it, she stands up. Before you start, remind the girls that the paper they are holding represents a sister in the room that they are standing up for and voicing their struggle. Have the girls look around and notice how many are standing for each question.

6.

As a leader, you can also create your own Yes or No List and ask other questions depending on your theme. You want to reassure the participants that they are not alone.

7.

Follow up questions - What are you feeling/thinking after doing the "Stand up for your Sister" activity?

- Describe a time in your life when you persevered. How did you feel after you accomplished your task?

If you can't think of anything, what is one thing you need to persevere in?

- What area of your life do you want to or need to trust Jesus in?

8.

As a leader, be led by the Holy Spirit as girls open up about these very sensitive/heavy topics. Be ready to minister as you feel led.

2J

STAND UP FOR YOUR SISTER LEADER INSTRUCTIONS This can be a powerful youth group activity. It is most effective the larger the group is. Please feel free to create your own tailored list with questions you feel are appropriate for your particular group of girls.

Meet with any assistant leaders before the session to go over the general overview of the activity. Have your assistant leaders participate in the survey as well and ask them to circle questions that they think the girls might have a hard time answering honestly (For example, maybe on the “struggle with cutting”, mark Y so that there will never be the potential of only one person standing up alone).

1.

As students enter the room, pass out surveys (have pens available as well).

2.

Instruct them NOT TO WRITE THEIR NAME! Explain you want to do an anonymous survey.

- Reassure the girls that everyone is filling out the same form, so no one will know who wrote on which sheet. It will be anonymous.

- Ask the girls to answer as honestly as they can, because the power of this exercise comes in the honesty in which they are willing to answer (Remind them again that their papers do NOT have their name on it.)

- Remind them to respect other people’s privacy. They are not to look around at anyone’s paper!

3.

Once they’re finished circling their answers (5 minutes or so), have them turn their papers in face down. Explain that you will mix up the pile so no one will know whose paper is whose.

4.

Randomly re-distribute the papers.

5.

Tell the girls that they will be representing the sister who filled out the paper they are holding. Explain that you will read each question. If the answer YES was circled on their paper for that corresponding question, they are to stand until you tell them to sit back down.

6.

Explain the purpose for doing the activity: - We often think we’re alone in the struggles that we face.

- Even though they don’t know who wrote on their paper, they each have a chance to take a stand for this person, to represent them and let them know that they are not alone.

2K

7.

Go through each question by saying, “Stand up for your sister if they have ever…” (Go down the list.)

After people stand, you can tell them to be seated before going on to the next question. Tell the girls to look around at how many people are standing for each of the questions.

8.

Collect the papers at the end for your data.

9.

End in prayer over the group and encourage the girls to come to you for help to take the next steps for any healing they need.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

STAND UP FOR YOUR BROTHER/SISTER Please DO NOT write your name on the paper.

We want to allow you to answer HONESTLY and ANONYMOUSLY. Papers will be collected and mixed up so nobody will know whose paper is whose.

Circle Yes or No if you have…

Y

N

I struggle with believing God loves me and I am valuable.

Y

N

I feel anger or hatred towards someone.

Y

N

I struggle with sexual lust.

Y

N

I struggle with watching pornography and/or masturbation.

Y

N

I have thoughts of hating myself or my hating my body.

Y

N

I have had suicidal thoughts within the past year.

Y

N

I have cut or harmed my body in the past year.

Y

N

I struggle with depression.

Y

N

I have been sexually abused, or inappropriately touched.

Y

N

I have been verbally abused.

Y

N

I have been physically abused (physically hurt by someone)

Y

N

I have regretted going sexually physically further with a guy.

Y

N

I have lost my virginity.

Y

N

I struggle with loneliness.

Y

N

I have had sexual intercourse.

Y

N

I have had oral sex.

Y

N

I struggle with feeling pressured by my parents to perform.

Y

N

I believe that God can forgive me, heal me and give me hope.

Y

N

I have someone who I can talk to about these struggles in my life.

Y

N

I desire a more intimate relationship with God!

2L

SHE PROTECTS

JOURNEY 02 • PAGE 58~67

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

What was a take-away from the Guarding Your Heart article? What is one of the tips you want to implement to guard your heart?

•

In our present culture among many teenagers, having sex is normal, and saving your purity for marriage is not normal. In what ways does culture put pressure on teens to engage in sex activity?

•

After reading the article Protecting the Pleasure, Passion, and the Priceless Diamond, did you view on sex change? If so, what new insights did you gain?

•

In churches and families in general, the subject of sex is rarely if ever talked about—let alone how God created it as a gift for marriage as a source of intimacy, pleasure, and joy. It can be uncomfortable to talk about—but it really shouldn’t be because God created it and gave all of us a sex drive and so He is not ashamed of it. He just wants us to manage that sex drive and keep our sexual integrity. In what ways has the enemy been at work in the world and history to distort sex from God’s intent?

•

In the section, "The Great Exchange," (page 67) can any of you relate to Mikela's experiences?

If so, how?

•

What things in culture adds to making our culture highly sexualized?

•

What are some ways you can protect and guard your heart in general?

ACTIVITY CHOCOLATE CAKE Materials Needed: • Chocolate cake (recipe on page 62) • Small plates (one for each girl) • Forks • Toothpicks • Tape • Small pieces of cardstock or small index cards cut in fourths • [Nubia Brown]. (2020, October 7. I looked for love in men: My Christian Testimony [Video].

YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RERbyZtF3tY (5 minutes) • OR another option: Here's a longer version of the video that shares how the speaker met the right person for her. It is entitled: When God writes your love story.

• [Nubia Brown]. (2020, May 4). When God writes your love story: Engaged at 18 yrs old Daniel and Nubia [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/j7fiOz61rbU (17:50 minutes) • Pen/pencil for each girl • Brave & Beautiful magazine

2M

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Instructions: 1.

Before your meeting, preview the two videos listed (under materials). Choose which one you want to show and find a device to show it towards the end of your meeting if possible.

2.

Bake the chocolate cake recipe on page 62 (or make it a fun activity to bake together before you begin your discussion).

3.

Review the main idea of the article Have your Cake and Eat it Too - that we don't go into the yard and put poop in our cake before we eat or serve it.

4.

Ask the girls what's one thing they want to ask God to remove from their soul/cake such as doubt, lies, sin, shame, or blame.

5.

Ask the girls to reflect on what positive things they want to put into their soul/cake such as compassion, gratitude, grace, or truth.

6.

Give each girl a small cardstock/index paper. Have them write what they want to put into their cake on a small cardstock paper. Have them tape a toothpick to the back of the paper.

7.

Serve each girl a slice of chocolate cake and have them stick their toothpick with cardstock on their cake.

8.

Have each girl share what they've chosen to remove from their soul and what they would like to replace it with.

9.

Now have the girls enjoy the cake as the lesson continues!

10. Show the YouTube video of your choice or both if you have time, then discuss the following questions: - Can you relate to Nubia in the video? If so, how?

- What is one thing you can learn from her or that stood out to you?

11.

End in prayer in pairs or as a group to close.

NOTES

2N

SHE SPARKLES

JOURNEY 02 • PAGE 68~74

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

What is your take-away from this chapter?

•

What is one thing you are good at that comes fairly naturally to you? In what ways can this sparkle you have light up this world and be a blessing?

•

Who is one person you admire that has a special sparkle? What is that sparkle that inspires you about them?

ACTIVITY SPIRITUAL GIFTS GALORE

Materials Needed: • Print a copy of a Spiritual Gift Test for each girl There are many free online ones. Here's one link you can use: • https://lwccyork.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/2016YouthGiftsTest.pdf • Pen/pencil for each girl • Brave & Beautiful book Instructions: 1.

List the various spiritual gifts on a chart paper on the wall and briefly define each.

2.

Pass out the tests and have each girl write down which gift they THINK they have on the top of the test paper. Have them take the spiritual gift test, scoring themselves at the end to discover their findings.

Did it match their original guess?

3.

Discuss: - Did your findings match your original guess?

- Share one thing you're passionate about. Do you make time to do that activity? If no, why not?

- How can your passion be a blessing to others?

4.

Review the 5 Secrets for Shining article on page 73. Have each girl share which is one tangible key from the list that they can do this week to work on shining brighter. They can share their outcomes when you meet again.

TWINKLE, TWINKLE STAR! Materials Needed • As a leader, make a sample star craft with cardstock ahead of time. Write your name in the center. Trace with glue and put glitter on it. Write positive words about yourself around your name, inside the star.

• One cardstock star cut out for each girl (size 8.5" x 11") • Folder paper for each person • Glitter • Glue Cont'd

2O

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

• (optional) Peaceful instrumental worship music • (optional) Music player/speaker • (optional) Crayons, markers, color pencils Instructions 1.

Have the group initially sit in a circle.

2.

Instruct each girl to write her name at the top of her folder paper.

3.

They are then to pass their paper around in a circle, so everyone has a chance to write ONE positive word that describes each girl. Continue the rotation until each person has her own paper once again.

If they do not know everyone well, encourage them to ask the Lord for a positive word and write down what comes to them.

4.

Instruct each girl to write her name in the middle of the star, then write the positive words she received from her group in the space around her name. If she wants, she can trace her name with glue and sprinkle glitter on it.

5.

After everyone is done with their craft, have each girl share their star and read aloud in an "I am" statement using all the positive words on their star.

6.

Pray in pairs or as a group to close.

THE SHAPES ACTIVITY Materials Needed • Four 8 ½ x 11 cardstock sheets with each of these following shapes represented in a drawing: square, triangle, circle, the letter ‘Z’ Instructions 1.

Discuss how every person has their own unique temperament, strengths, and weaknesses that they bring to this world. We can appreciate our differences, although sometimes it can be hard to get along with or understand people who are different from you.

2.

Hold up the 4 shapes and ask each person to decide which shape best represents who they are if they had to pick a shape to represent herself. *If you have a large group of 8 or more (more dynamic the larger the group), you can designate a part of the room where you want the squares to gather, the triangles to gather, the circles to gather, and the Z’s to gather. They are to share amongst themselves WHY they picked that shape and each group will be given 5 minutes to plan a 15-30 second presentation to the rest of the group of what that shape represents and communicates to the world (their interpretation).

3.

In a small group, simply have each girl share why they picked that shape to represent herself. What does she like about the shape she chose? What are the temperament aspects that all the people who chose a certain shape have in common?

4.

This can be a fun activity to reveal once again, our differences and the various ways we sparkle and add our ‘flavor’ to the world!

5.

Have the girls who chose the same shapes to sit next to each other and share WHY they chose that shape.

6.

Affirm each girl in how they sparkle and what they add to the world, as this activity revealed.

2P

GROW IN CONFIDENCE. KNOW YOUR IDENTITY.

3

urney

FOR GIRLS OF FAITH

1

The leaves on the covers of our Brave & Beautiful Series represent the leaves from the tree of life that are for the healing of the nations. We pray this Brave & Beautiful Journey will bring healing and life to you as well as to the nations of the world.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL Copyright © 2022 Releasing Generations Published by Releasing Generations Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

All articles, art, and photographs have been published and printed with the permission of their creators.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations from The Authorized (King James) Version. Rights in the Authorized Version in the United Kingdom are vested in the Crown. Reproduced by permission of the Crown’s patentee, Cambridge University Press.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version®.

Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the Holy Scriptures, Tree of Life Version*. Copyright © 2014,2016 by the Tree of Life Bible Society.

Used by permission of the Tree of Life Bible Society.

Art Direction and Graphic Design: Ahava Design, LLC. Photos by Unsplash and Pixabay.

BRAVEANDBEAUTIFUL.WORLD Brave & Beautiful is a publication created by Explicit Movement, a Christian faith-based movement that heals and empowers youth and young adults to walk in sexual integrity and healthy relationships as they embrace their God-given identity and God's beautiful design for sex. We provide faith-based resources that equip youth, young adults, parents, and church leaders to have conversations concerning healthy dating and navigating sexuality issues with confidence, leading the way for young people to thrive in relationships.

CREDITS COVER Floral pattern: Maria Galybina. 3 Photography by Luminous: Emily Ganiko, Dreamstime, and Unsplash.

WELCOME BACK TO

Brave & Beautiful — vol.3

REAL TRUTH.

REAL LOVE.

3

••

Bave  Beauful Jurney

Sh

eR e l e ases ••

Sh eB

e li e ev

s

c o v

e r s •• She Accepts ••

i D ifu l •• S h e

eE •• x p re s s e s

ut

s

4

••

Journey 01

e

&

a e B

Sh

B ra ve

Journey 02

10

SHE IS BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

8

SHE RELEASES

16

SHE DISCOVERS

20

SHE TRUSTS

30 SHE ACCEPTS

28

SHE CRIES

40 SHE BELIEVES

40

SHE BLOOMS

58 SHE EXPRESSES

50

SHE PERSEVERES

70 SHE CONNECTS

58

SHE PROTECTS

84 SHE RESTS

68

SHE SPARKLES

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

re

••

She s

Sh

e

s

Sh

e

Co

nne

cts •• She Re sts

he Celeb •• She Sparkles •• S ra te

C

he s •• S

••

Sh

eP

Pro

t e c ts

A

es

Journey 03

Journey 04 Listen

8

10

PORNOGRAPHY

20 SHE LOVES

16

SEXUAL ABUSE & TRAUMA

30 SHE GIVES

32

SEX TRAFFICKING

40 SHE DREAMS

50

VOICES OF FREEDOM

48 SHE CREATES

58

HOPE RISING

SHE CELEBRATES

e

r e a te

She Bloom •• s

ri s

Sh

es

eC ri

e m s •• S h

Sh

D re a

s

ves •• She Give o L e s • Sh • ••

She Lstens!

56 SHE ARISES 5

er

ve se

VOLUME 03 — PART 1 Ever feel discouraged, disappointed, or overwhelmed

In this section, we will explore some answers to these

with life’s dramas? Pausing to find what you can be

questions and learn about the power in being young

thankful for can lift you up from that dark place high

women who celebrate life, love others, and who are

enough to take a breath of fresh air. Being grateful is a

generous givers.

key to growing in your emotional health. Thankfulness will help you to relish good times, give you extra

Like a magnet, as you are fueled by God’s heart and

strength to deal with trials, and can even improve your

directed by His whispers to act, we are confident you

relationships! Celebrating the positive blessings God has

will attract unexpected blessings that can fill your heart

given you and thanking Him will feed your soul—but it

with joy.

is not always easy! Perspective changes things.

“And not only this, but we also celebrate in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;” ROMANS 5:3 NASB

Then there is our call to love others…how do we love others well? It is easy to love people we like and feel comfortable with, but what about when it is difficult to love?! And what does it mean to be a good friend? How do we love in healthy ways?

Part of loving is giving from a generous heart. God’s Word says it is more blessed to give than to receive… yet sometimes that can be challenging when we struggle with our own selfish desires from time to time!

Why be generous?

6

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

She She She

Celebrates Loves Gives

7

8

She Celebr BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E CELEB RATES

Celebrate the blessings in your life.

Be thankful!

JOU RN EY 03 • CHAPTER 15

9

rates.

pay attention to the good.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

PHILIPPIANS 4:8 NIV

10 10

BRAVE && BEAUTIFUL BRAVE BEAUTIFUL

A HEART OF GRATITUDE

BY JENNIFER FINULIAR

I

n today’s world where information and images are at our fingertips, it is easy to be swept up and carried off into the whirlwind of thinking we need MORE, we should be doing MORE, we deserve MORE!

•

That whirlwind can cause us to see only what we do not have, rather than being grateful for what we do have. If we are not careful to put gratitude at the forefront of our hearts, it will be challenging for us to make room in our lives for “much,” or for the “more,” in life that our grateful hearts do desire.

•

Gratitude changes our outlook from negative to positive and can help lift us out of depression.

•

Our mental and emotional health will improve. We will be able to bounce back quicker after going through sad, frustrating, or troubling situations in life if we meditate on what we can be thankful for and celebrate the good!

•

Our physical health can be positively affected! It is a known fact that our mental and emotional health has a profound effect on our physical health, especially in the long term.

•

Our relationships can thrive as we become joyful and pour that joy out rather than have a complaining, negative attitude.

•

We will begin to remember how much God loves us and live everyday with fresh hope.

Gratitude is simply defined as the state of being grateful.

It involves expressing thanks or appreciation for something, from a gift to life itself! A heart of gratitude recognizes the positive things in life and how they affect us. This can range from acknowledging a beautiful rainbow in the sky after the rain, or a fun time you had with a friend, to the feeling of thanksgiving that comes from escaping a serious illness.

It is important to practice a heart of gratitude to keep us positive and help us shut the door on the enemy who always seeks to steal away our joy and peace in God.

Do you desire to be successful in life? Be grateful!

“Research on the effects gratitude has on our biology shows how being thankful increases our longevity, our ability to use our imagination, and our ability to problem-solve.”

DR. CAROLINE LEAF

Be intentional to live the full life that Jesus came to give us! He wants us to have joy, be fulfilled, and to have a life that we love as much as He loves us! Let’s practice a heart of gratitude!

The concept of being thankful in the Bible is mentioned over 150 times! Our all-wise Heavenly Father knows us best—that being a thankful people keeps us healthy and thriving in more ways than one!

There are many fantastic benefits to having a heart of gratitude!

With all my heart and passion, I will thank you, my God!

“With all my heart I will praise you, O Lord my God. I will give glory to your name forever,” PSALM 86:12 NLT

11

The Gratitude Project.

The brighter side of life.

GRATITUDE Without pausing, list 20 things you are grateful for (big and small):

What is something you are grateful for that you did not have 3 years ago?

Jot down the nicest thing someone said to you in the past week:

LIVE WITH A GRATEFUL HEART:

Do one or more of these action steps this week!

• Before you go to sleep each night, write down or meditate on at least 3 things you are grateful for.

This may help you have a peaceful and restful sleep!

• Send a thank you text, message, or make a phone call to someone who has done something nice for you or said something helpful.

• Pay attention to the little things in life like the beauty in a flower or a bird’s song! Take that moment to be grateful that you have eyes to see or ears to hear something beautiful when there are people in the world who do not have this privilege.

• Tell a person in your life that you appreciate them and share why.

• Bless a person you are thankful for—even if it simply means giving them a hug.

• Focus on the good in your life. Every time you feel discouraged or down, take a pause to reflect on what you can be thankful for despite your circumstance.

• Give thanks through prayer. Always thank God for all that you have in your life and all that He has done for you!

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”

12

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

WILLIE NELSON

Draw something that represents celebration in your life.

doodle

13

Pay attention to unexpected miracles.

Noticing a picture perfect nature scene before you.

A moment of surging confidence knowing you will be fine.

Finally finding a solution to a big problem.

Finding the right words that comforts someone’s shattered heart.

An ‘aha’ moment where you learned something.

A timely text from someone that lifted your spirits.

Finding something you were frantically looking for!

A belly laughing moment that took away your depression.

A perfect song that verbalizes what is in your heart.

An answered prayer.

ACTIVITY

In the clouds above, jot down some favorite minor miracles you have experienced.

14

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

We give thanks and celebrate who God is!

“They celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.

The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.

All your works praise you, Lord; your faithful people extol you.”

PSALM 145:7-10 NIV

slow down and smell the

roses.

15

BY MICHELE OKIMURA

H

ow can we celebrate the good in life when the dramas of life can be SO hard at times?

Becoming a thankful person involves renewing our minds and reframing how we think about the situations we go through.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.

Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” ROMANS 12:2 NLT Sometimes what makes no sense to us makes complete sense to God. He has a different logic than us that often opposes our natural way of thinking! God is after the COMPLETE transformation of our lives and there is no transformation without mind renewal.

Reframing is a way of changing the way we look at circumstances and therefore, changing our experience of it. Reframing can turn a stressful situation into a challenge that can be bravely overcome.

REFRAMING TAKES EFFORT. Don Colbert, M.D., author of the book Deadly Emotions: Understand

16

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

the Mind-Body-Spirit Connection That Can Heal or Destroy You, writes "I've worked with countless people who have discovered that once they made a sincere effort to tackle their dysfunctional thought patterns, they had fewer bouts of depression, anxiety, anger, grief, shame, jealousy, and all other toxic emotions. It isn't difficult to replace lies with God's truth. It just takes intentional and consistent effort.

It takes the time and energy to find statements of God's truth and apply them to life's lies.”

HOW ARE YOU REFRAMING SITUATIONS THAT YOU GO THROUGH? Ask the Lord to help you gain His perspective. Memorizing scripture and helpful, catchy phrases or quotes can help you renew your mind. “…those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.” ROMANS 8:5-6, NLT God’s goodness is real! God is able to: • • • • •

change a test into a TESTIMONY. change a mess to a MESSAGE. change a trial into a TRIUMPH. change scars into STARS. change us from being stressed to BLESSED!

BE CAREFUL WHO YOU LISTEN TO. I personally need to be around people who are positive and hopeful. If you surround yourself with negative people who complain a lot, your thinking will be negatively affected over time.

How do you respond to your mistakes and failures? Do you beat yourself up inside? Are you quick to become defensive and blame others? Do you get depressed easily? Or do you ask the Lord to show you what you can be thankful for?

Despite what negative things others may say to put you down at times, hold on tight to God’s perspectives on things. Yes, take responsibility for your mistakes and choices, learn from them, and then focus on the good that can come out of situations. Become thankful.

SOMETIMES YOU WIN. SOMETIMES YOU LEARN. John Maxwell wrote a book entitled: Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn. It doesn’t have to be sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. In any trial, reflect and ask God what lessons can be learned to better yourself and grow. That is a win!

For example, recall how many attempts Thomas Edison made to invent the lightbulb.

A reporter asked Thomas Edison, “How

In one of her photos, she captured some wildflowers growing along a stone wall.

She framed this photo and, using her skill in calligraphy, wrote a hope-filled Bible verse on it. She later took this framed photo to a local art store who agreed to sell her work.

One day, a customer walked in and noticed Linda’s framed photo of wildflowers. Right away, she frantically asked the store owner to please get her in touch with the photographer! She desperately wanted to purchase the framed photo but could not afford it.

did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times.

The lightbulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

Thomas kept positive, persevered, and learned from each attempt!

Ask yourself at the end of each day, “What did I learn today? What will I do differently?” Thank God for the little lessons He is teaching you daily!

LET’S REFRAME! Becoming a thankful person is a process. We must be pro-active to reframe our thinking. Our thinking affects our emotions which affects our actions and choices! Learning how to reframe situations will help us to celebrate the good and be thankful in the midst of our hardships.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” JAMES 1:2-4 NIV

Now this doesn’t mean that we should never get angry, anxious, or sad! Having such emotions makes us human. Just look at the raw, negative emotions King David expressed in many of the Psalms.

However, we can work on returning to God’s perspective quicker as we mature.

Even King David would come back to trusting and praising God in the midst of his painful circumstances.

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME! With the Lord’s help and strength, we can learn to expect the goodness of God all the time. We are called to show others what it looks like, sounds like, and feels like to know a God of immense goodness and faithfulness!

REFRAMING OPENS THE DOOR TO MIRACLES! The following is a true story that shows how reframing can lead to miraculous outcomes.

One day, a woman named Linda took pictures of scenery as she was hiking near a cliff in the city of Waimea, Hawaii. She was amazed at the beauty of God found in the hard places along the trail.

Linda was contacted immediately and made her way to the store. This customer then explained to Linda that she recently had contemplated suicide and had decided to kill herself on that same hiking trail that Linda took pictures of. However, as she was walking near the cliffs, the Lord spoke a certain Bible verse to her heart which happened to be the exact Bible verse that was written on Linda’s photo of flowers!

As a result of God speaking that Bible verse to her, she decided to not commit suicide that day.

Linda ended up giving the framed photo to this customer because it meant so much to her!

The Bible verse that was written on Linda’s framed photo reframed this woman’s perspective from painful despair to being hopeful and thankful for God’s goodness!

God’s Word, God-thoughts, and even God-pictures have the power to shift us into thanksgiving and into HIS peace and joy.

LET’S REFRAME! LET’S BE THANKFUL AND CELEBRATE GOD’S GOODNESS EVERY DAY!

17

“The most important words we will ever utter are the words we say to ourselves, about ourselves, when we are by ourselves.” –Al Walker

ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR WHO YOU ARE & ARE BECOMING? Reframing How You See Yourself

BY MICHELE OKIMURA

R

ecently, the Lord was getting my attention about a certain perception I had about myself. While working on this amazing Brave and Beautiful publication, I was finding myself swimming in uncharted waters regarding my experience! Though thrilled about this God-project, I also felt the weight of decisions I needed to make behind the scenes. Being so dependent on Him, I had been seeking God’s wisdom and help daily.

I realized that I saw myself as an obedient servant… but fearful of failure! Yikes! To be honest, I have often found it difficult to see myself as a confident, courageous woman of faith…although I desire so much to be just that!

God knew my struggle, and I didn’t know He was about to strongly address this belief I had.

On a particular Friday, I engaged in meetings with many people throughout the workday. I was shocked, as throughout that day from early morning to late afternoon, a total of 6 different people (independently of each other) initiated in telling me the exact same thing!

As I conversed with each person about work topics, every one of them paused at one point in the conversation and initiated in telling me that they wanted me to know that they see me as a courageous, brave woman of faith. One person even said my courage and confidence inspired them! I was very surprised!

Sometimes other people can see the gold in you that you can’t see yourself. Could it be God wanted me to reframe how I saw myself? YES! BELOVED, CONFIDENCE IS THE FRUIT OF KNOWING AND BELIEVING WHO GOD SAYS YOU ARE. Later that same day, the Lord prompted me to find my binder of transcribed encouraging God-words that people had given

18

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

me over the years. He directed me to read what a young man, Rabson Chandaro from Tanzania, Africa, had shared with me several years earlier. I didn’t realize until I read what Rabson had shared that God was seriously wanting to correct my perception!

Here is an excerpt of what Rabson shared with me: “…Its about how your view yourself. If you have a small view of who you are, you will build something that equals your view of you. You are not building something that is yours. You are building His [work], so definitely you HAVE to buy HIS picture, His vision. You will view things the way HE does. View yourself the way HE does!”

I was deeply moved and so encouraged. I hope that what Rabson shared rings true for you too, as I believe it relates to your life as well!

The Lord also challenged me to be thankful for the life He has given me and to give Him thanks for how He designed me to be! I encourage you to do the same.

Brave and Beautiful Daughter, take a moment to thank God for giving you life. Thank Him for how He is working good in your life even though sometimes it is hard to see in the moment.

There are many facets to who you are.

REFRAME HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF. THINK GOD THOUGHTS. We are learning an overcoming lifestyle.

Instead of being overwhelmed with what we are not, we can be overwhelmed with who God is for us! Reframe how you see yourself and join the Lord in celebrating your growth in Him each step of the way!

FROM SAD TO CELEBRATING We all experience failures and make wrong decisions at times. We are all in the process of becoming more like Jesus. The Lord wants to turn the sadness we experience into celebrating who He is for us in those valley experiences. Here are some helpful steps to go through: With humility and a humble heart, start this process with the Lord in prayer: • Take time to reflect on the situation.

• Admit when you are wrong.

• Decide you will learn from mistakes.

THEN ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS: • What went wrong?

• Why did it go wrong?

• What was my contribution to what went wrong?

• What lessons learned can I take with me going forward?

• What can I thank the Lord for and celebrate in this situation?

Reminder: When we experience a loss due to a failure or wrong decision, it is healthy to take time to grieve. Take time to cry and release your pain and sadness to the Lord. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Receive God’s comfort and give thanks for the good that can come out of your situation.

ACTIVITY

Celebrating the 'INSTEAD'

There is so much to be thankful to God for. Isaiah 61:1-3 and verse 7 lists just some of the good things that God wants to give us. In Isaiah verses 3 and 7, the Lord expresses what He wants to give His people: “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty INSTEAD of ashes, the oil of joy INSTEAD of mourning, and a garment of praise INSTEAD of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

INSTEAD of your shame you will receive a double portion, and INSTEAD of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.”

ISAIAH 61:1-3, 7 NIV, ALL-CAPITALIZED WORDS ADDED

The word INSTEAD is repeated five times for emphasis.

God wants to give you something INSTEAD of what is coming against you. That is something to celebrate!

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

INSTEAD

In the chart, write down the negative things you struggle with in the left column (fear, anger, etc.). In the corresponding right column, list the good things God wants to give you INSTEAD (peace, forgiveness etc.). Give thanks for God’s help in aligning your thinking with His perspective!

19

She loves people well.

She Lo

20

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E LOVES

JOU RN EY 03 • CHAPTER 16

21

oves.

BEING A GOOD FRIEND

BY JET NELSON AND MICHELE OKIMURA

IF YOU HAVE EVEN ONE CLOSE FRIEND, YOU HAVE A PRICELESS GIFT—SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU­—THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY—AND STILL IS LOYAL AND FAITHFUL. • Someone who cares, listens, lends a hand, and will stand by you through thick and thin.

• Someone who will speak the truth to you…even if it hurts.

• Someone who makes your day brighter.

• Someone who you have shared losses, laughs, hopes and dreams with.

• Someone who believes the best in you and fights to support the best for you.

You can be that friend to others!

How can you learn to be a better friend? Be open, yes. Be available, of course—but choose to love and trust friends who value what you value, and those people will be at your side for life.

As brothers and sisters in Christ, when you make friendships that have your faith in common, those friendships can last despite all of life’s changes!

LOVE BY LISTENING

Listening is not just polite. It is a way of loving, honoring, respecting, and connecting with someone else.

Listen with intention!

“I felt it shelter to speak to you.”

EMILY DICKINSON

• Give the speaker your full attention (put your phone away).

• Show that you are tracking with what they are saying through your nods or brief comments/phrases.

• Mirror back what the person is saying from time to time by rephrasing their words back to them. For example, if your friend is telling you a story about a time when they were stressed out, you can respond by commenting back, “WOW! So you were really stressed out!”

• Maintain good eye contact.

• Don’t interrupt.

• Listen without wishing to speak yourself.

LOVE BY BLESSING

Especially if you know one of your friends needs some encouragement —maybe they are struggling with doubts, a hurt, confusion, or discouragement—reach out and be there for them.

• • • • • •

22

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Text, call or visit them.

Serve them - help them with a task.

Take them out for a run or walk.

Give them a much-needed hug.

Get them a gift - could be small like their favorite candy bar!

Ask the lord for creative ideas on ways to bless them!

LOVE BY BEING INTERESTED

Ever felt especially cared for when someone took a genuine interest in what you were saying?

How did it feel to be heard?

“Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.”

ROMANS 12:15 NLT

Reaching out to make new friends or to initiate and carry on a conversation can be described as engaging in the art of conversation. Sometimes it can be easier to talk about ourselves during those awkward silent moments in a conversation—but instead, have some hip-pocket questions you can ask a person to show you are interested.

Ever been in a one-way conversation where you showed interest in what he/she was saying, but they didn’t show interest in you? It can be tough during those times to be loving and patient, but it can also be a good opportunity to practice listening.

How wonderful it is when there are those fun and heart to heart conversations where both you and your friend flow in a two-way conversation!

Showing interest is a great way to connect you to others!

• Have a heart that cares. Being a good friend starts with a heart attitude that truly cares about others.

• Smile when you greet others. Smiling at appropriate times can cause people to feel more at ease with you. Sometimes we can forget to smile.

• Take interest and find common ground! Ask questions to learn more about the person you are talking with. Try to find things in common so you can have a lively conversation about a topic.

• Make the other person the star of the conversation. Be sensitive to not dominate the conversation.

• Encourage. Empathize. Validate feelings.

LOVE BY SPENDING TIME

Another simple way to be a better friend is to make the effort to spend time with your friends.

When a friend comes to mind, you can either call them right away or set up a reminder to yourself to call them later. It's a simple but a brilliant action step! So often we think of someone and then forget to text or call them.

You can initiate plans to get together to just hang out or do an activity together.

It takes straightforward intentionality to let our friends know that we’re thinking of them. Giving your friends the gift of your precious time can mean a lot!

LOVE BY BEING REAL - THE VULNERABILITY FACTOR

The friendships that last the test of time are the ones that have deep roots. This doesn’t necessarily include your oldest friends that you’ve known since kindergarten—this is about the depth of emotional vulnerability you share with someone.

It can be more comfortable to keep the ugly and raw details about your life hidden from the people in your life, but if you desire close friends, then honesty is vital.

Being open about the struggles and messiness in your life with someone that you trust and love will strengthen your bond with that person. Your closest friends will love you even at your worst, and they will encourage you and lift you up in those times.

Be a loyal and trusted friend to others as well. When your friend shares vulnerably with you, keep their confidence and don’t tell others without their permission unless they are planning to physically harm themselves or others (get help for your friend in those cases!).

23

“

You know you are with true friends when they lift, encourage, correct, and then spur you on.

LISA BEVERE, LIONESS ARISING: AWAKEN THE POWER OF THE UNTAMED LIFE

“

“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”

EPHESIANS 4:2 NLT

24

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

for real!

be a safe person.

The Power of Empathy

BY VICKY WONG, MSCP, LMFT, LMHC, NCC, AND MICHELE OKIMURA

I

t is not always easy to know what to say when someone is vulnerable and tells you something very personal.

There is power in words which can encourage and uplift or hurt and destroy. Careless words keep people isolated and silent for years. Supportive words can be healing and can also give people courage to share more deeply about themselves.

After someone shares something vulnerable, it can be very hurtful to not say anything, quickly change the subject, or make a joke/comment to lighten the mood. When appropriate, a hand on shoulder, a hand squeeze or a hug also can communicate comfort and empathy.

Don’t start immediately sharing your experience that is similar. This time is not about you. It is about listening and connecting. Giving advice and encouraging words comes later after they feel validated and heard, and you sense they are ready for that.

Lastly, keep their confidence and ask for their permission before telling anyone else. The exception would be if they are about to hurt themselves or another person.

Here are some tips on what to say vs what not to say when someone is opening their heart to you.

WHAT NOT TO SAY: • • • • • • • • • • •

You just need to let go and move on.

Other people have it worse than you.

You’re making too much of a big deal of this.

You just need to trust God and pray harder.

Are you just trying to get attention?

I can’t believe this really happened.

Tell me every detail and don’t leave anything out.

How come you just can’t forgive?

Did you enjoy it? (the abuse) What are you going to do about it now?

At least…. (minimizing issue)

WHAT TO SAY: • Sounds like you are feeling really (angry, sad, excited, shocked etc.) by what happened.

• I don’t know exactly what to say right now except that I’m here for you.

• I’m so sorry that happened to you.

• This must be so tough for you.

• Thank you for having the courage to share that with me.

• You are very brave and courageous to talk about what happened.

• I am here to help you through your sadness.

• I care about you. I am here to listen and help you in any way.

• I am so glad you are sharing this with me.

• You are not alone.

• I believe in you!

• I’m so sorry that awful thing happened to you.

• You didn’t deserve this (abuse, hurtful situation) • You are not to blame. This is not your fault (if they were a victim of abuse), • Healing is possible! You can be whole again.

• Forgiveness for such a deep hurt is a process and will happen over time.

• What I hear you saying is…(reflect back what they said/reflect back what you sense they are feeling)

25

LOVE BOUNDARIES

F

riendships are ever-growing and ever changing. Some friendships may last a lifetime, while some close friendships may last only for a season. Friends move away, or you move away. People go through different life stages. God will bring new friends into your life unexpectedly. Unfortunately, conflicts or misunderstandings can happen that may change a relationship. God also orchestrates purposeful, divine relationships throughout our lives.

Through it all, know that there are boundaries in love and in relationships.

It is normal and healthy to have various levels of closeness in relationships.

Friends and family members would fall in one of these categories. It can be helpful to think of relationships in three different groups.

OUTER CIRCLE RELATIONSHIPS First, there are people in the outer circle of your life that would fall into the category of acquaintances—people you may have met once to a few times, but you really don’t know each other.

These could be people who you met in passing. Maybe you had a few short conversations with them, but you spend very little time with them, if at all.

Jesus also had outer circle relationships.

When Jesus was on earth, he met many people along his life journey and ministered to the crowds. However, this particular group of people did not spend much time with him on a day to day, week to week basis.

MIDDLE CIRCLE RELATIONSHIPS Secondly, there are people who you would consider pretty close to you.

These relationships would fall in the

26

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

middle group, as they are closer to you than mere acquaintances. People in this group could be people in a group of friends you hang out with sometimes or often. Maybe you do certain activities with these people such as sports, dance, music or other extracurricular activities. They could even be your favorite shopping buddies. Though you have a good level of trust with these people, they do not know you deeply.

Jesus also had middle circle relationships. He hung out with his 12 disciples for a good 3 years! They did a lot of activities together and spent a lot of time together as a group.

INNER CIRCLE RELATIONSHIPS Hopefully, you have people in your life that you would consider in your ‘inner circle’. It could be just one to a few people who you feel safe with and

you can trust your deepest secrets to.

If you are in great need, people in your inner circle would be the first people you would call. The level of loyalty runs strong with these relationships. You would gladly sacrifice for them and they would gladly sacrifice for you. It can be a challenge to find and develop such deep, trustworthy relationships where you connect at a deep heart level. They know the good, the bad, and ugly about you yet still accept and love you!

Although Jesus was close to His 12 disciples, He had His inner circle too!

Jesus was especially close to Peter, James, and John. In Matthew 17:1-8, Jesus took only these three to a high mountain where they experienced a supernatural encounter. There He talked with Moses and Elijah, showing Himself to His inner circle in greater glory! On the most emotionally painful

night of his life, Jesus took Peter, James, and John to pray with him in the Garden of Gethsemane. While Jesus hung on the cross, Jesus also entrusted John to care for his mother Mary.

It is normal and healthy to have different levels of relationships. You want to use wisdom and not allow just anyone into your inner circle. You don’t want to have ‘walls’ in building relationships either. However, you only

have a limited amount of time and energy to invest into relationships.

Invest well and ask the Lord for wisdom.

ACTIVITY On this circle grid, write in the names of some of the people who are in the outer, middle, and inner circles of your life. This could change over time.

Doing this activity can help bring love boundaries to your awareness which can be helpful! Where would you put God in your grid presently?

Continue to make new friends. You never know if a new friend may later become an inner circle friend!

Ask God to provide those inner circle relationships if you feel you do not have them presently. We all need those close, supportive people in our lives.

she lov e

.s ..

,F rie

nd

s, A

cqu

a i n ta n c e

YOU

e

F .g .

am

ily

27

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

9

When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them.

Always be eager to practice hospitality. 14Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless 13

them. 15Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16Live in harmony with each other.

Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! 17Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.”

ROMANS 12: 9-10, 13-17 NLT

“Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary.”

J.M. BARRIE

DID YOU KNOW?

Check out YouTube videos by searching for 'Rice Experiments with Words' and 'Water Experiments with Words.'

“Words kill, words give life; They’re either poison or fruit—you choose.”

PROVERBS 18:21 MSG

Call Out the Gold

“Don’t use foul or abusive language.

“Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited

helpful, so that your words will be an

your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get

Let everything you say be good and

encouragement to those who hear

ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage.

EPHESIANS 4:29 NLT

PHILIPPIANS 2:3-4 MSG

them.”

28

friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.”

Love is patient and kind.

Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.

It does not demand its own way.

It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

I CORINTHIANS 13:4-7 NLT

29

She G

30

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E CON N ECTS

“The generous will prosper;

those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.”

PROVERBS 11:25 NLT

JOU RN EY 03 • CHAPTER 17

Gives.

31

the power of generosity.

Are you open-handed or tight fisted when it comes to being generous to others?

fulfillment that you made a positive difference in this world. Your sense of purpose receives a boost!

When it comes to giving, you can give away your time, your money, material things, and your service to bless others.

BEING GENEROUS HELPS YOU TO FOCUS OUTWARD

But why does generosity matter?

Being self-centered and self-absorbed are not positive character qualities. Let’s face it! How many of us like to be around stingy people who only think about themselves?

YOU WILL BE REFRESHED

When you are intentional about being generous and helping others to succeed, you will experience the positive payback of loving and serving others—and gaining a greater sense of confidence and value.

“The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller. The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.”

Again, the biblical principle rings true that a generous person will be blessed as King Solomon, the richest king ever in biblical history, once said: “The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” PROVERBS 11:25 NLT

We all know that to increase our chances of living a long healthy life, we need to have a healthy diet, manage our stress, and exercise.

PROVERBS 11:24-26 MSG

Interestingly, a 2003 research study at the University of Michigan found that being generous may increase our life span! The researchers discovered that people who did volunteer work regularly had a lower death rate than those who didn’t volunteer.

It has also been found that people who struggle with depression will usually feel uplifted after volunteering to help others.

When you are generous towards someone, especially someone in need, you will probably feel a sense of joy and

ADDING VALUE TO THE LIVES OF OTHERS

Imagine this…you are 80 years old. You are at your birthday party. People are coming up to the mic to express their birthday thoughts to you. Let’s say you did pretty good financially in life up to that point. Will they say that they were so impressed with your grand house or the amount in your bank account? Probably not…

What would you want them to thank you for?

A good guess might be you would want them to thank you for the ways you made a positive difference in their lives.

That’s the stuff that makes a life worth living and worth remembering.

“If you help the poor, you are lending to the Lord—and he will repay you!”

PROVERBS 19:17 NLT

32

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“Greatness is not defined by what a person receives, but by what that person gives.”

JOHN MAXWELL

GOD IS GENEROUS!

Let’s embrace God’s heart of generosity as our own!

Let’s leave a legacy of God’s love by being generous— sometimes practicing radical generosity when possible!

See what happens!

“How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you. You lavish it on those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world.” PSALM 31:19 NLT

We do not need to wait until we have loads of money to be generous. Let’s ask God to change our hearts and download into our minds creative ways that we can be cheerful givers every day!

“Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap.

The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

LUKE 6:38 NLT

If you had the resources and you could practice radical generosity, what are some of the things you would want to do to bless others and your community?

ACTIVITY

You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.”

2 CORINTHIANS 9:7 NLT

33

“Give and give again. Keep hoping, keep trying, keep giving!

People who give will never be poor.” ANNE FRANK, WRITER, HOLOCAUST VICTIM

PASSING ON YOUR WISDOM On a separate paper, write a letter to your younger self of 3 years ago. What life lessons would you want your younger self to know? What wisdom have you gained from your experiences? What lessons have you learned that can be passed on to encourage and help someone else?

Write one to three names of those peers or younger ones in your life that come to mind below. Make it a point to encourage them. Pass on your wisdom! You never know how one conversation could change a life for the better!

What are some important mistakes or wrong choices that you have made that you hope others will avoid? Next to each mistake listed, briefly jot down what you learned from that mistake or wrong choice.

Ask the Lord for an opportunity to share some of your wisdom with someone younger than you to support and help them through life. Share stories from your life and lessons you learned.

34

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

MODEL GENEROSITY EVERYDAY 10 Things You Can Give Away

How about making it a point to do at least one generous act daily?

This practice can change your life and impact others!

1. SMILE. GREET OTHERS.

We sometimes forget to smile. Smiling can be contagious and has amazing physical and emotional health benefits! Smiling also helps to spread positivity and makes you look more attractive.

2. HUG. GIVE A HANDSHAKE. PAT SOMEONE ON THE BACK.

Hugs and loving touch can help reduce anxiety and fears (while being sensitive to what is appropriate in each situation). Just look up YouTube videos on the power of hugs to learn about this amazing phenomenon!

3. SHARE A KIND WORD TO COMFORT, ENCOURAGE, OR CHEER ON.

Kind words can literally brighten someone’s day and has the potential of impacting someone for life! Speak it, text it, write it!

4. COMPLIMENT.

One of the most generous things you can do is give someone a compliment to communicate love, respect, affirmation, value, honor, and gratitude!

5. DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE. HELP OUT. Serving others makes a difference in this world and leads to having a sense of purpose. God sees and makes a record of your good deeds—even if nobody else sees!

6. MAKE SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE. BE CREATIVE!

Write a poem, make a card, bake cookies…there are many creative things you can make to bless someone.

7. SHARE OR GIVE AWAY WHAT YOU HAVE.

Sharing fosters connection between people.

For example, you can share a funny story to spark some laughter (good medicine for the soul), you can share your food or material things with others, and you can share your wisdom. Sharing is love in action!

8. GIVE YOUR TIME TO SOMEONE.

We can lose, kill, and waste time, but we can also invest time into someone or serve a good cause!

Everyone only has 1440 minutes in a day. Let’s aim to make our moments count.

9. PURCHASE A SMALL GIFT—EVEN IF IT’S SOMEONE’S FAVORITE CANDY BAR!

Buying gifts does not have to cost much! This small gesture communicates you were thinking of the person and wanted to bless them!

10. OFFER A PRAYER

A prayer can usher in a miracle, strengthen, heal, refresh, impart hope and comfort, and so much more. A prayer is a pipeline to God and makes way for His heavenly answers to come to earth!

35

M IND F UL LET T ERING Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

Action Steps

YOU GO GIRL! LET’S WALK IT OUT. she is Brave & Beautiful you!

••

She Celebrates.

She Loves.

She Gives.

CHOOSE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS STEPS: 1. Spend 3 days in a row journaling about 3 different positive experiences you’ve had in your past (one

• What is one way you’d want to be more like your parents and one way you’d want to be different?

that expresses your feelings and thoughts about

• What is something you are thankful for that happened to you recently?

per day). Write a prayer of thanksgiving about each those experiences.

2. Every day for a whole week, do one random act

of kindness for someone. Ask the Lord for creative

• What is something sad or upsetting that happened to you recently?

• What made you feel brave recently?

ideas. Sometimes it is fun to do acts of kindness in

secret knowing God sees everything and takes note!

Great will be your reward in heaven!

4. Create a Gratitude Journal and daily list three or more things you are grateful for.

3. Practice the art of purposeful gathering by creating moments to help people feel known, honored,

loved, and appreciated. Initiate planning a simple gathering with friends, such as a movie night, a

small party with a purpose or theme, or a picnic. Get creative! Maybe have a short list of fun questions everyone must answer. For example:

5. Search for a free ‘Five Love Language quiz’ on the internet to discover your top love language. Take

the test with a friend(s) to discover how they best

receive love. Be mindful to show them love in their

top love language so they really feel it! It is also good to become self-aware of how you best receive love from others!

• Where did you love going to as a child?

• What was something embarrassing that happened to you?

6. Consider volunteering and giving your time to serve a good cause in your school or community.

1-888-373-7888

TOLL-FREE HOTLINE | 24/7 CONFIDENTIAL

Get Help Report Trafficking

37

VOLUME 03 — PART 2 Ever wonder…

•

What is my potential?

•

What are my dreams that are waiting to be fulfilled?

•

What gifts are inside of me that are yet to be discovered and nurtured?

•

What problems will I creatively solve?

•

What useful, innovative ideas am I going to contribute to improve things?

•

What lives will I forever impact for good?

People are like that. If they are placed in limiting, harsh, negative environments, their growth is hindered. But if they are placed in an encouraging environment that promotes growth, then they have a greater chance of reaching their potential!

Welcome to this next section that will create a space and place just for you to launch towards your incredible potential! This section will call out the gold in you in more ways than one!

Prepare to be activated. Get ready to dream more!

These are great meditations for you.

Whoa Daughter! Arise in the splendor of your beauty.

You are created to be a History Maker in your own right!

Yes, that is you, but maybe you don’t believe it quite yet.

Did you know that some species of fish grow to the size determined by their environment? If you put them into a small aquarium, they will forever remain small, but when released into a lake or stream, they grow very large according to their intended size!

38

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Open your heart to embrace your God-given creativity that is part of your intricate design. When you connect with God’s unlimited creativity, miracles can happen!

The impossible becomes possible because Christ in you is being revealed!

Your story is meant to release something powerful to this world—something so beautifully brave.

She She She

Dreams Creates Arises

39

She Dr

40

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E DREAMS

“Dream and dream so big that unless God intervenes it will fail.”

– JAMES HUDSON TAYLOR

JOU RN EY 03 • CHAPTER 18

reams.

41

“For I know the thoughts I have towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil to give you a future and a hope.”

JEREMIAH 29:11 NKJV

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”

AUDRE LORDE

WHAT AM I HERE FOR?

ALL CREATION IS WAITING FOR YOU TO BE WHO YOU WERE DESIGNED TO BE AND DO WHAT MAKES YOU...FULLY ALIVE! TAKE COURAGE...IMAGINE...PRAY...IMPACT OTHERS! SPEAK YOUR DREAM OUT LOUD.

42

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

WHAT ARE YOUR

GOD INVITES YOU TO DREAM WITH HIM.

PASSIONS?

God resurrects dreams... there is more!

“ GOD HAD A DREAM AND WRAPPED YOUR BODY AROUND IT.” LOU ENGLE

WHY

FAITH AND ACTION.

BE A DREAMER?

43

dreamers are welcome

G

od wants to unlock the dreams within you and unleash you to pursue the dreams in your heart that especially reflect His heart to the world.

God is an untamable, passionate, bold, and wild dreamer of a God! In fact, He has bigger dreamed-up plans for your life that you cannot even imagine!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

What is a dream?

It is a picture of the future that you want to live someday. It involves our aspirations and hopes. We can have all kinds of dreams that God can work through - even the fun ones!

Why dream? Because God loves it!

Imagine a blank white canvas in front of you. God says to you, “Go ahead and paint! I am excited to see what you come up with!” God loves to paint His impressions on the canvas of our imagination.

Instead of only working for God, we work with Him! It is true that God directs us and leads us. However, there are times when God considers a dream in our own hearts and decides to bless it!

True story! King David in the Bible had a dream to build God a temple. This was

44

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

NOT God’s idea. In fact, God expressed to David in 2 Samuel 7 that it was not necessary. In the end, God helped to fulfill David’s dream by having his son, Solomon, build the temple. Before David died, he was actively involved in creating the meticulous blueprints for the temple as explained in 1 Chronicles 28:11-19.

At the temple’s dedication ceremony, Solomon shared that the temple originated as a dream in his father David’s heart.

God really cares about what we care about. He tells us in Psalm 37:4 that if we delight in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart. Our dreams will not be forgotten by God and can later be brought back to life in God’s perfect timing.

Why dream? Because you were designed to dream!

God wants us to be intentional in walking towards doing what we were designed to do. You were purposed to be a part of something that is meaningful and bigger than yourself.

God is THE greatest dreamer of all, and you were designed in His image.

Why dream? You are a human treasure box with hidden riches inside!

What things are slumbering inside of you that God wants to awaken?

Dreaming can be like pulling to the surface some of the most unique and greatest parts of who you are—the gems within you!

Why dream? God created you with a purpose. Your dreams can point to that purpose.

You were created with great intention!

What moves your heart deeply will most probably be part of your life’s mission and calling.

Have you ever done an activity, and after you were done, you had the feeling, “I was born to do this!” If you haven’t yet, God wants to take you on a journey to discover what it is! It is a profound thing to see people joy-filled and fully alive as they do what they were made for.

Why dream? Your dreams could change the world.

Your dreams just may have the potential to impact the world and the lives around you in a big way!

Picture the possibilities that can lie within a dream. An entire nation was changed under one man’s dream to be president. That man was Abraham Lincoln. Every invention in the world was dreamed up by its inventor.

In 2011, a destructive tsunami hit Japan.

Sue Takamoto, a missionary from America, was helping to clean up the wreckage when she noticed a pile of broken dishes. She suddenly thought,

here!

“Wouldn’t it be cool God, if…” and a business dream was birthed! Sue’s idea was to make jewelry out of the broken dishes!

The Nozomi Project (nozomi means ‘hope’ in Japanese) is a business that brings income, dignity, and hope to the women in Ishinomaki, Japan, by training women to make jewelry out of broken pottery. The women working at Nozomi lost their livelihood in the tsunami, so this created a way to provide jobs for them. But there is more!​ As broken dishes were being transformed into elegant treasures, lives were being renewed with dignity and hope. Many employees became Christians and have testified through their tears how this business brought them hope.

The Essence of God’s Dream Culture.

Imagine if we created a culture where we encouraged each other to dream dreams that bring God glory? How would it feel to not only have someone believe in you and your dreams, but also have others work alongside of you to help those dreams come true? Such a culture would be heavenly!

Dreaming involves risk… it costs something.

There is also a sobering side of dreaming. As followers of Jesus—our life purpose dreams must have their

roots in kingdom values. REMEMBER— Greatness comes through serving! It is only when we walk with Jesus that we begin to see life differently from His perspective.

Want to receive? Give.

Want to be first? Be last.

Want to save your life?

Give your life away.

Want to be great? Be a servant of all.

Pursuing dreams requires a dependence on God, prayer, sacrifice, perseverance, picking yourself up when you fail, and overcoming negative judgments other people may make on you and your idea.

It also means we must be willing to take action steps of faith! It involves surrendering our dreams into our Father’s hands—because God wants to always be our number one pursuit.

There shall be no other gods before Him, including our dreams.

Dreams may not turn out as expected.

Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing.

Even if we do achieve our dreams, we still need to walk closely with God to continue forward. It helps to understand that although dreams are important, what is most important is growing to be more like Jesus in the process. We aim to become more like Jesus in our heart, character, attitudes, and actions in everything we do!

When God first gives you a dream…the training now begins!

How do you discover your dreams?

It is a process, a journey of discovery that you need to choose to begin. Your present abilities will probably not take you to the finish line. With that in mind, God will prepare you. God prepared every major Bible character to fulfill their dreams and destinies!

Dream BIG! Jesus gave His life to set us free. He is our ultimate Dream Releaser!

Dreams may not always turn out as expected. For example, maybe a person dreamed of owning their own business, but once they had a business, they experienced unexpected challenges!

But we grow through those surprises.

“The world is waiting to see what picture your life paints of WHO He is.” - Andy and Janine Mason

45

GOING ON A TREASURE HUNT There are treasures within you. God cares about your dreams. God created you with desires, passions, and dreams. It takes time to learn which dreams are part of your purpose and calling in life, and which dreams may be just a hope for this season. However, your dreams may be hidden in your heart waiting to be discovered! God hides Himself along your dream journey so as you pursue God, you will discover His heart towards you along the way.

ACTIVATION 1: What are some personal dreams for yourself? (for example being a great friend, be physically fit etc.)

What are some dreams for your family?

What are some dreams for the people in your community?

ACTIVATION 2: Your destiny and purposes may even be found in some of your dreams! Brainstorm some dreams in these following categories for starters to activate your dreaming: List 5-8 things I would like to have:

List 5-8 of your FUN DREAMS (for example I would like to bungee jump someday...dream big!):

List 5-8 places in the world you would like to visit someday:

What are some skills you would love to master? (for example, cooking, volleyball, play an instrument, fix a car)

What are some of your EMOTIONAL DREAMS? (for example, overcoming a particular fear, forgiving a person who really hurt you).

List some of your SPIRITUAL DREAMS? (for example, witness a miracle, lead someone to Jesus, go on a mission trip)

With God…IT IS POSSIBLE. 46

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“Most of the things worth doing in the world were said to be impossible before they were done.” - Louis D. Brandeis

ACTIVATION 3: THE CONCERNS OF YOUR HEART The special concerns you have for society may also give you a clue to discovering your passions and dreams.

If you had the power and resources needed to solve 3 problems in your community or world, what would those problems be?

ACTIVATION 4: WHO INSPIRES YOU Sometimes we see something in someone else that inspires us. People who inspire you carry a key to discovering how God designed you.

Who Inspires you, past or present?

Why are you inspired by this person? What qualities do you admire about him or her?

ACTIVATION 5: MORE!

SHINE MORE. CARE MORE. GIVE MORE. MORE JOY. I WILL BE: (circle all that apply to who you want to be or be more of!)

Adaptable

Cooperative

Grateful

Kind

Productive

Adventurous

Creative

Grounded

Loving

Reliable

Articulate

Determined

Honest

Motivated

Responsible

Assertive

Enthusiastic

Hard-Working

Merciful

Secure

Brave

Encouraging

Imaginative

Organized

Stable

Balanced

Flexible

Influential

Patient

Self-aware

Compassionate

Focused

Innovative

Persevering

Strong

Confident

Forgiving

Insightful

Positive

Visionary

Content

Generous

Joyful

Prayerful

“

I AM NOT A HAS-BEEN. I’M A WILL-BE. Lauren Bacall

“While some may see them as crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do”. - “Think Different” (Apple Computer Ad) “I shall make electricity so cheap that only the rich can afford to burn candles.” - Thomas Edison “Thousands of perceptions race through our brains every day. Some are pure genius.

Give them the red light for at least long enough to write them down.” - Ralph M. Ford

47

“Creativity is not a mood.

Creativity is not a gift.

It is the very nature of God inside of you.”

DAN MCCOLLAM

She Cr

48

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E CREATES

JOU RN EY 03 • CHAPTER 19

49

reates.

your creative f low Are you in your creative flow?

Some of you reading this may have experienced a situation where you stepped out creatively and were criticized or rejected...which made you hesitant to risk again or even think you are creative..

Here are thoughts to ponder: • • • • • •

You were created in God’s image, which means you have God’s DNA, so to speak.

The first thing God wanted us to know about Him in His Word was that He is Creator God, so it is an important attribute not to be ignored.

That means you were born to create!

Every human being is creative in their own unique way.

As a follower of Jesus, you have tremendous potential in creativity because the Holy Spirit, the most wildly creative Creator in the entire universe, desires to inspire and partner with you as you create!

God can give you amazing creative downloads!

Whether a person is a

THE FUN FACTOR

Do you think God has fun creating? *Parent *Mechanic *Doctor *Landscaper *Musician *Photographer *Business person *Artist *Athlete *Hairdresser *Mathematician *Cook *Construction Worker *Technician *Engineer *Teacher *Architect *Plumber *Government official *Electrician *Student *Farmer *Manager *Pastor or in any role, creativity is required.

Everyone needs some level of creativity to solve a problem, resolve a computer issue, write a text or a post, dress themselves for the day, make a chart, innovate, and create.

Take a moment and reflect on all the things God created—the beautiful, interesting, even weird things!

50

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

When you find yourself in your creative flow and create something, you will typically feel a sense of fulfillment, satisfaction, and probably experience a dose of joy and maybe even excitement.

Read this passage from Proverbs 8:30-31 in the New Living Translation. Some Bible scholars agree that the person of WISDOM in the book of Proverbs refers to Jesus.

Know that the Lord delighted in creating you with all your unique layers of complexities and details. God loves to display His artistry to the world through His creation—and through you!

The Lord desires to partner with you in your creativity!

In this section, be open to embracing the creativity God has given to you to express yourself, serve others, bless the world, and bring glory to God!

“I was the architect at his side. I was his constant delight, rejoicing always in his presence. And how happy I was with the world he created; how I rejoiced with the human family!” PROVERBS 8:30-31 NLT

Do Something Creative Every Day.

YOU ARE A SIGN THAT CAUSE PEOPLE TO WONDER!

BY JAN TETSUTANI

Many people struggle with believing they can be creative.

Most of the time, creativity is associated with the arts, but it’s SO much more than that! We are made in the image of a creative God! Think about it! A smartphone started with an idea in someone’s imagination before it ever existed.

The same can be said with a medical procedure, a strategy in a debate, a strategy in business, technology, sports, science, creating a story, visual arts, poetry, or even helping someone in need. Creativity looks beyond the obstacles and problems and sees the possibilities.

Sometimes those possibilities don’t work out because the purpose of the design is not aligned. God’s grace flows when we align to His design. A majority of the time, a purpose is determined before something is created.

Someone did not create a chair and then determine it was for sitting. No one created a smart phone and then thought ‘Hey! Let’s use this thing to make calls, text, and use it as a personal hand computer!’ A paint brush wasn’t created to stir soup, just as a ladle wasn’t created to use to paint.

When we see the design of the Designer, we get a better understanding of the purpose it was created for.

God has uniquely made each of us with different gifts, talents, desires, experiences, perspectives and stories.

We were made to express creativity in our own unique way like no one else.

There is no one like you that can be expressed like you.

Many times, the enemy will attack you in those areas, because he knows those God-given super powers are going

to affect the lives of others. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the comparison trap because you’ll never reach the people God intended for you to reach being someone else.

Like the pretty stars in the sky, you are a sign that causes people to wonder. In the art world, an original painting is much more valuable because it is one-of-a-kind, whereas copycats are not as valuable. Embrace who you are created to be, an original! (Ephesians 2:10)

TAKE TIME TO CONNECT WITH GOD 1. Read Ephesians 2:10 and ask God to show you what is unique about yourself.

2. Ask God if there is anything hindering your creativity (is it a belief in a lie?).

3. If God shows you that you have been agreeing with a lie about yourself or your creativity, break that agreement and replace it with his truth about it. Example: God showed me that I have been comparing myself to this girl and I am believing that I am not good enough. I come out of agreement with that and agree with God, that I am good enough being myself.

Remind yourself by posting it on your mirror.

4. Make time this week to nurture your creativity.

If you paint, then paint. If you write, then get writing. If you are on the debate team, write out some strategies.

51

COLOR

God, you once painted a glorious sunset

You gaze upon me, your creation

that I felt you made just for me.

with the same wonder and awe

Sitting on that mountain rise or

because of the color I bring to the world.

watching the river flow.

Maybe I, no, surely!

My eyes drank in beauty.

I am a glorious feast for your eyes.

Flowers of every kind.

That I dare to believe with a humble heart

Captured color.

that I bring gorgeous color to the world.

Intense, vibrant saturation and soft wispy pastels.

And you love to behold me.

Crazy colors in iguanas, birds,

When I love others well

salt water fish, fabrics and dyes.

My words and actions

The symphony for eyes prepared.

leave hues of your glory upon their hearts.

Maybe, just maybe…

What I do, who I am

no, surely, surely!

when I am simply just resting at your feet paints joy unspeakable.

CONQUER THOSE CREATIVITY KILLERS! There are obstacles that can put a limit or down right stop our creative flow. With God’s help, we can become more self-aware of those creativity killers and overcome them by replacing lies with God’s truth.

Will you give God permission to turn on His searchlight and reveal any beliefs or character issues that are stunting your free flow?

Let’s take a look at the Dirty Dozen creativity killers.

Check off the ones you struggle with the most and focus on overcoming those hurdles.

52

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

THE DIRTY DOZEN LIES AND LABELS: Specifically surrender any beliefs you have that say you are not creative or intelligent!

Continue to embrace who God says you are and know you have His creative genius residing in you.

o

o RULES to ‘color in the lines‘: University professors, even at the most elite ivy league schools, encourage their architect students to forget the rules to ‘color in the lines’ that they learned in childhood! By freeing their imagination, they are then able to envision the most amazing buildings that can be considered works of art! Set your imagination free—it’s like a muscle that needs to be exercised. See what is possible! May God restore your childlike wonder and curiosity!

FEAR of being judged and rejected: Being afraid of being judged or rejected will freeze up your creative flow. Despite the fact that some may judge you or dislike your work, take steps of faith and explore! It is worth the risk to discover more of your creative design. Taking baby steps out of your comfort zone may lead to open doors and you’ll grow your capacity to create!

o

FEAR of failure: Creating anything puts yourself in a vulnerable position to fail. With each experience, you will grow and learn things as you keep your heart teachable. Making a mistake does not make you a mistake! Remember that Thomas Edison had numerous failures before he finally invented the light bulb that changed the world!

o

ANXIETY, STRESS: Creativity can flow more freely when you have a clear mind, peace in your heart, a positive outlook, and an expectation that the Lord will inspire you. Trust that with God, all things are possible! Seek help if you suffer from chronic anxiety. Do activities that can help decrease your anxiety, such as deep breathing, exercise, and meditating on your favorite Bible verses.

o

DEPRESSION: Seek help if you find yourself depressed and in a tailspin of sadness and lethargy. Focus on being grateful and celebrate what blessings you do have. Be in community with other Christians who will walk with you to victory.

o

NEGATIVITY: Stewing in negative thinking can hinder your creativity due the swirl of dark thoughts filling your mind. Seek out ways to renew your mind and release your burdens to the Lord in prayer. If you struggle

o

th i w e t a co-cre D! GO

with disappointment or feel disillusioned towards a situation or person, pursue your healing. Meditate on the positive and ask God to fill you with hope that you can make a difference in this world through your creativity! Practice gratitude.

UNFORGIVENESS: Unforgiveness can hinder our ability to receive creative inspiration from Him. Get help and pursue your healing for any deep hurts that you are finding difficult to let go of. God wants to restore your heart. When our hearts are pure and clean before Him, we are then in position to receive all that God has for us.

o

PEOPLE PLEASING: As God’s children, we serve others creatively and purposely to ultimately please God—not people.

o

You cannot please everyone. Yes, it can be helpful to consider feedback from others, but do not let your motivation be to please others. God not only approves of you but is cheerleading you on to be authentically you. He wants His confidence to bubble up within you so you can express His divine creativity!

Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant. Galatians 1:10, NLT PERFECTIONISM: Valuing excellence in whatever we do is a good thing and a God thing, Yet, the stress and drive to be perfect is unhealthy and damaging to overall health.

Knowing you are already immensely loved and valued by God apart from your performance can help give you rest in God’s strength. Silence that harsh task master’s voice inside of you!

Instead, lean in to God’s encouragement and kindness.

o

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works

best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT PRIDE: Humility will keep you teachable and ever-growing.

It requires a humble heart to consider input, equipping from others, and to ask God for inspiration. Humility will also aid you when you need to collaborate with others for any creative project. Other people’s ideas may spark even more creative directions and ideas in you.

o

Here is a verse to consider as a good reminder: “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”

Proverbs 16:18, NIV LACK OF TIME: Ever find yourself too busy or exhausted from constant activities? Do you tend to procrastinate? Do you have difficulty managing your time so you are not productive when you should be? How many hours do you spend on social media? Are you addicted to your phone?

o

Creating and innovating takes time. Some helpful tips to overcome this hurdle are: • Write down some goals.

• Set priorities: what are the most important tasks today or this week?

• Write a to do list to follow.

• Find a time and place with no distractions for creating.

This can be looked at as a self-care issue as well as for some creative projects. Creating can fuel your soul—so make time to co-create with God!

53

COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES “

G utenberg connected the coin punch with

the wine press to create the printing press.

Mendel connected math with biology to create genetics. Fred Smith connected the hub and

spoke idea of the wagon wheel to create Federal Express overnight distribution plan. The roll-on

deodorant was modeled after the ballpoint pen. Drive in movies inspired drive-in banks.

The common cocklebur inspired the design for

the billion-dollar Velcro industry. You have the power to connect—use it!

ROGER VON OECH

54

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

BE A COURAGEOUS CREATIVE! The world needs you WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO? • • • •

Crack jokes to make people laugh?

Solve a math problem?

Develop a new recipe?

Strategize to score points for your sports team?

• Capture a moment with your camera?

• • • • • • • •

Write a poem?

Create a thought-provoking post?

Act in a play?

Produce a film?

Draw or dance?

Sing or play an instrument?

Do science experiments?

Organize a mess?

Getting in touch with your creative identity in God may involve looking back to your childhood when you were probably the freest to express yourself, when you didn’t care if you were being silly, you enjoyed play, and often used your imagination.

EXPLORING YOUR CREATIVE MIND Let’s explore. Maybe you will discover something about yourself God wants you to appreciate.

How did you use your imagination and creativity as a child? What activities did you enjoy doing in your playtime? What toys did you play with? List down the ways you expressed your creative mind:

Presently, what activities do you gravitate towards doing? What do you enjoy doing?

Check off and briefly describe activities that you connect with: Visual Arts: Media: Health: Crafting: Producing: Math: Designing: Organizing: Technology: Performing Arts: Communication: Culinary: Music: Problem Solving: Sports: Writing: Science: Other: As God’s ambassadors, the ultimate use of our creativity is to partner with God to help bring positive transformation to lives, to places, to organizations, to communities, and to culture! We can influence people and places and bring glory to God starting right where He has planted us!

Bill Bright, the founder of Campus Crusade, and Loren Cunningham, founder of Youth with a Mission, came up with seven areas of influence that affect culture. These spheres of influence affect the mindset of culture and therefore influence people living in any particular community or region.

Look over these seven areas and check off which sphere(s) you are most drawn to. You are still young, so interests can change over time, but the seeds for your future are often planted in your youth.

o o

Religion Family

o o

Media Education

o o

Arts and Entertainment Government

o

Business

This can give you a possible clue on discovering your purpose and the area of influence God has designed within you to use some of your creativity. We are multifaceted human beings, so our creativity can flow in a multitude of ways and places!

Maybe, just maybe, your heart is being drawn to an arena where you are called to make a difference!

55

“Arise, shine, for your light has come,

and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.”

ISAIAH 60:1 NIV

She A

56

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E ARISES

JOU RN EY 03 • CHAPTER 20

57

Arises.

SHE ARISES WITH GOD’S FIRE UPON HER HEART

“

Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord.

Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.

PSALM 5:3 NLT

WALK BY FAITH. “You have something glorious to draw on begging for attention.

Don’t pass it up. Use it.”

LORRAINE HANSBERRTY, PLAYWRIGHT

58

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“All adventures, especially into new territory, are scary.”

SALLY RIDE

LIONESS ARISING

BY LISA BEVERE

T

ime and time again as I have spoken the phrase “you will awaken a lioness,” I have literally seen it impact women. Sometimes they respond with quiet tears as something within them is watered.

At other times they gasp as though they’ve breathed in the revelation and realized it is okay to be beautiful and fierce. I believe the response has been so overwhelmingly positive because, just as there is a lamb of sorts hidden within, there is also a lioness within every one of God’s daughters. And it is time she awakens.

When I think of a lioness, a smile plays along my mouth. I throw back my shoulders and stand a bit straighter.

More than any other creature, the lioness makes me proud to be a female.

There is no doubting her strength. I also imagine there is no creature that makes a man prouder to be a male than the lion. The lion is the king of the jungle, and there is no question about who is the queen.

This isn’t the first time God has pointed us back to the simplicity of creation to restore our perspective. Jesus admonishes us to consider the flowers and to learn from them that God will clothe and care for us (see Matthew 6:28; Luke 12:27). Likewise, the heavenly realms declare God’s glory and make an open show of his righteousness (see Psalm 19:1; Psalm 50:6). The heavens declare His righteousness, And all the peoples see His glory. (Psalm 97:6 NKJV) The wild, fierce beauty of creation is but a window that offers a glimpse of the God who created us. We need to throw open this window and allow God’s untamed, limitless beauty to awaken a heavenly awe within us. As we open our eyes to the wonder of creation, it arouses a God-yearning. Our spirit will respond to what it sees. Creation declares, “There is more! More than what you see. More than what you hear. More than mere human mortality.

There is the Immortal God who is seated on high.”

I believe God is asking us to do something similar now. He is asking us to look at the lioness and to learn.

He invites us: Daughters, look at the lioness. Watch her closely. Let her awaken your untamed nature, your fierce beauty, and your unbridled strength so you can rise up and be the courageous women I have called you to be.”

LISA BEVERE, LIONESS ARISING: WAKE UP AND

CHANGE YOUR WORLD

“Live what is within you out loud.”

LISA BEVERE, LIONESS ARISING: WAKE UP AND

CHANGE YOUR WORLD

Contribution from Lisa Bevere, Messenger International, (2010)

by Lisa Bevere, Lioness Arising: Wake Up and Change Your World, Colorado Spring, Colorado, Publisher: WaterBrook Press.

First two columns are from pages 13-14.

3rd column excerpt is from page 16.

LOOK…AND LEARN 59

“Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.” Ephesians 1:11 NLT

as you arise...choose wisely.

Ever hear of crab mentality?

T

here is a story about a bunch of live crabs that were piled up in an open bucket. Each time one of the crabs attempted to climb out of the bucket and was almost to the top, the other crabs would pull it down!

This can be related to some people who pull down those who try to grow and improve themselves, who do something different, and who aspire to reach for their dreams. Like the crabs, they can criticize and be negative in an attempt to discourage any positive change within their friend who wants to arise.

Friends can greatly influence you in the right ways or the wrong ways.

“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” PROVERBS 12:26 NIV

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” PROVERBS 18:24 NIV

MAY BE IN YOUR LIFE FOR YEARS OR FOR A BRIEF SEASON MAY BE IN YOUR LIFE FOR A SPECIAL REASON WILL BE YOUR FAVORITE ACTIVITY BUDDY OR A FAR-AWAY FRIEND

MAY BE SO DIFFERENT FROM YOU,

WHILE OTHERS WILL HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON WITH YOU REALLY ‘GET’ YOU

STRENGTHEN YOUR FAITH IN GOD

CAN HELP YOU TO REACH YOUR HIGHEST POTENTIAL!

60

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Choose wisely Beloved!

“Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.” PROVERBS 13:20 MSG

SOME FRIENDS…

As you arise, choose your friends wisely.

We can have various layers of friend, ranging from those who we are super close with to those who are more like acquaintances…and everything in between!

Your life will be impacted greatly by the people who are running beside you in life, who link arms with you, who lift you up (not pull you down), who have your back, and challenge you to grow!

ARISE IN CONFIDENCE

BY DENNISA BUMGARDNER

F

or as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with confidence. In fact, most girls do, according to studies on what social scientists refer to as “the confidence gap.” There is a major difference in confidence levels between genders. Most girls are significantly less self-confident than boys of the same age. Spoiler alert: we already knew that!

Let’s face it, whether it’s the impact of the objectification of women in our culture, the bullying from internet trolls or the comparison trap we get stuck in because of social media, it is becoming increasingly hard to find confidence on our own. For me, 2020 truly magnified the intensity of this struggle. After losing lifelong friendships, being gossiped about and slandered, my confidence was at an all-time low because there’s nothing like the critics of the world to make you feel insignificant. It was the perfect storm of self-doubt and comparison that ultimately turned into major depression.

get, the number of followers I have or the brand of clothes I wear. It’s not in a number on a scale or the size of my waist, but my confidence is and will remain in the Lord.

“Yet I am CONFIDENT I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.”

PSALMS 27:13 NLT, ALL CAPITALS ADDED

If you are struggling with confidence, allow me to pray this over you:

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with CONFIDENT hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” ROMANS 15:13 NLT

Sis, the good news is when you go through hard things, you learn a lot about yourself. What I learned from turning to scripture on the subject of confidence, was that I wasn’t alone in my struggle. I was reminded of countless women who historically struggled to see themselves through God’s eyes. You see, my confidence is not in who I am or how well I perform.

It isn’t based on the amount of likes I

61

RISE UP!

BY SILVIA HOFFMANBECK

T

here are two most amazing days in our lives—the day we were born, and the day we discover why we were born.

Once I was lost living an empty life as a Consultant in the Information Technology field. I thought that I had my life completely figured out, but I was wrong! One day, I had a glorious ‘AHA’ moment! I understood that God was calling me to become a warrior and change the world—one soul at a time.

At that moment, I realized that I was born to help others because it makes me genuinely happy, and as a result, I left the Consulting world to become a Minister and a Psychotherapist.

The following true story impacted my life, and I hope it will do the same for you.

In WWII, Jewish psychiatrist Viktor Frankl was imprisoned in one of the death camps of Nazi Germany, where

62

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

he tragically lost everything, including his entire family! Every day, Viktor wondered if his life would end that day as he witnessed the horrors committed against humanity.

One day, soldiers separated the prisoners into two groups. His captors sent the people in Viktor’s group to the showers. Viktor almost fainted in disbelief when he felt real water running over his head. He realized that the other group had marched to their death.

After the shower, a soldier gave him an old, rugged coat. While getting dressed, Viktor put his hands in the pocket of that coat where he unexpectedly found a slip of paper with the following scripture written on it:

“

Listen, O Israel! The Lord is your God, The Lord alone.

And you must Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.” DEUTERONOMY 6:4-5 NLT

Viktor realized at that moment that war could take everything from him except his freedom to decide within himself how all of this was going to affect him.

He chose to trust and love God. In doing so, he changed his fate forever.

After three years in the death camp, Viktor emerged stronger than ever, where others lost faith. Viktor Frankl was a Holocaust Survivor and wrote the book, Man’s Search for Meaning. He went on to help millions to find purpose and meaning in life. He said: “Between stimulus and response, we have the freedom to choose how we will react.”

There is also a story of a young man named Gideon, who lived in a city about to be attacked. He believed he was too weak and insignificant to deal with that kind of impending disaster. So, he decided to thresh wheat in his family’s winepress to hide it from the enemy.

While Gideon was taking care of the wheat, an angel appeared saying, “The Lord is with you, Mighty Warrior!”

(Judges 6:12 NIV) Gideon couldn’t believe what the angel said to him because he saw himself

as the most unlikely person to be a warrior! However, the message was clear. God saw Gideon as a Mighty Warrior. That was enough to change his life and the history of his country.

Gideon led the Israelite army that consisted of only 300 soldiers to miraculously defeat 135,000 enemy soldiers! He became a renowned military leader, judge, and prophet.

in the Civil Rights movement that continues today.

Esther was a young girl in captivity in Babylon who became the Queen to save her people. As a young girl, she trusted the Lord to save her and her people from exile in Assyria under King Xerxes.

God was with her. When she became Queen, Esther set her people free because she trusted God with all her heart (Book of Esther).

DR. ELIZABETH BLACKWELL was

Throughout history, women have consistently arisene to become heroes to many. Here are just a handful of ordinary women who changed the world:

At the age of twelve, MOTHER THERESA decided that she would help people worldwide and in 1979, received the Nobel Prize for her work.

ROSA PARKS refused to give up her

AMELIA EARHART was the first

bus seat to a white person in Alabama in 1955. Her courageous act inspired millions and sparked a turning point

aviator to fly across the Atlantic Ocean alone in 1928.

SUSAN B. ANTHONY was a great advocate for civil rights and social justice, the abolition of slavery, women’s suffrage, and women’s property rights. Her involvement led to the 19th amendment, which gives women the right to vote.

the first woman to receive a medical degree from an American Medical School in 1856 and opened a medical college for women in 1857.

VALENTINA TERESHKOVA became the first female astronaut to venture into space.

ADA LOVELACE passed away long before the computer age, but her mathematical algorithms and analytical engineering skills in 1840 gave her the title of “First Computer Programmer.”

HELEN KELLER was an American author, a political activist, and the first deaf and blind person to earn a college degree, proving that the only obstacle in achieving one’s dreams is yourself.

There are countless women, heroes throughout history. Could you imagine your name on a list of history makers?

Not all of us may become famous worldwide, but we all can make a tremendous difference wherever God plants us!

Know that God calls you to arise and shine one step at a time! Find a compelling cause that moves you.

Change the world in your own unique way for all the brave and beautiful young women just like you.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”

MATHEW 5:16 NKJV

Peaceful Ocean by Asia Brynne Anderson

63

need new glasses?

Maybe you need new glasses—new lenses for new vision.

As little girls, many of us have curiosity and boldness to explore our world and express ourselves…before insecurities, intimidation, doubt, lies, negative words, and comparing ourselves creep in to distort our ability to see clearly.

As we envision our future, let’s ask God to give us clarity about how we see ourselves and the world so we can dream and envision more accurately!

“Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—then guide me on the road to eternal life.”

PSALM 139:23-24 MSG

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

EPHESIANS 2:10 NLT

64

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

GOT VISION?

BY MARY COLBURN

thought would be a friend proved that they were not! I endured mistreatment from my peers: the letter passing, the eye-rolling, the gossiping, the backstabbing, "Oh, you are too skinny," "You are too pretty,” became a dark reality for me. The judgmental voices of others kept getting louder and louder.

Did I want to pick up that cigarette to fit in? Did I want to grab that alcoholic drink? Of course not!

podcast, or even an online video course will help sharpen your mind more than binge-watching devices ever will.

MY HEART Here is a piece of wisdom from the Bible:

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

PROVERBS 4:23 NLT

C

an we be real for a moment?

Being a teenager ain't easy, I know. I am a mother of 5 children and a wife to my high school sweetheart.

At eight years old, I would pretend to be on stage giving a speech. Well, to be exact, I would actually be preaching from the Bible, and my dogs were the audience. They would be barking and rooting for me as if they were real human beings. The vision I had for my life was to become a great public speaker/preacher; I wanted to learn how to grab people's attention when entering a room.

When I was 13, my family moved from the countryside of North Kohala on the Big Island of Hawaii to Honolulu's big city. I did NOT like this move. I was heartbroken to leave my hometown and everything that I knew to be familiar and comfortable.

The new way of life I was forced to live was beyond me. Everyone who I

The more I believed the negative lies about my worth, the more my vision of life diminished. That little girl who dreamt of someday becoming someone special had faded away because of critical, cold voices that I allowed to speak into my life.

I knew I needed to get up, get moving and start living again. Questions filled my mind. How do I dream again? How can I possibly overcome the negative voices that seem so much louder than that still voice of destiny?

It is easy for a heart to be discouraged when the news we see, hear, and read does little to offer us hope for the future. And then there is social media.

Oh boy! That is a big one. It is full of personal attacks and disagreements.

That is why you need to invest in your heart. Take breaks to spend time alone with your thoughts so you can examine them. If they are overly negative, you need to change them because negative thinking will turn your heart in a negative direction.

Here is where I started:

MY MIND It should come as no surprise that many people have spent their time settled in front of a screen. Television watching is up, streaming hours are also up, and there is a good chance my monitoring apps on my phone are probably exhausted from calculating the number of hours even I stay on my phone!

While I am not opposed to taking a mental break by watching something entertaining, staring at a screen all day is not ideal for your mind.

Focus on content that helps you grow in positive ways and makes you smarter!

Spending time with a good book, a smart

I spend time in prayer and reading my Bible to invest in my heart, but you need to find a practice that works for you.

Maybe you can start a gratitude journal or spend time daily repeating your values to yourself as a reminder of what you stand for. Regardless of what you do, make time feeding your heart because that is the essence of who you are!

The greatest gift ever given to mankind is not the gift of sight but the gift of vision. Sight is a function of the eyes; vision is a function of your heart.

Investing wisely into your mind and heart will ensure a successful journey to developing a vision for your life.

65

ACTIVITY TIME: YOUR VISION Journal your thoughts below.

1. GETTING STARTED What do you do in your free time? Why do you do those things?

2. DISCOVERING YOUR PASSION What is a topic you love talking about? Why do you think that fires you up?

3. DEFINING SUCCESS Why do you exist? What do think your purpose is? What are you good at?

4. CORE VALUES Reflect on what is important to you. List 3-5 core values.

“Then the Lord answered me and said: “Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it.” - Habakkuk 2:2 NKJV

66

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

5. CASTING A VISION • • • •

What is your why?

What are you passionate about?

What would you like to accomplish?

If you are not sure how to answer these questions—be patient! This is a process of discovery!

6. FIND THEMES Now, look back over everything you have written. Notice any themes? Record any themes you notice below.

7. YOUR PERSONAL VISION STATEMENT Spend time in prayer asking the Lord for help in writing a personal vision statement.

• It does NOT have to perfect.

• Have it express what matters most to you, what you stand for and what kind of a person you are committed to becoming!

• It can be a sentence or a paragraph.

• Your vision statement will continue to evolve over time, but you can begin here!

• Write it in present tense.

• Review your vision regularly and make changes as you grow and mature.

I

“Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.” - Joel A. Barker

67

here you stand.

68

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Maybe…someday?

The buzzing and swirls of a busy life with schoolwork, extra-curricular activities, family life and our social life can distract us into so many directions! AIYA! We can’t avoid those unexpected twists and turns of life but we don’t have to be at the mercy of our circumstances either. We can take time to remind ourselves of our purpose in God. Finding your purpose can feel overwhelming and out of reach. It is a journey of discovery that involves hearing God and reflecting on what is in your heart along the way.

Here are some projects that can serve as a daily compass to keep you moving in the right direction towards God’s amazing purposes for you, while staying true to yourself.

Your Values

list 3-10 values you have.

It is good to recognize what values you feel especially strongly about. Values help us to grow, and they guide us in our decisions. Our strong beliefs can also give us clues to our unique purpose on what we are meant to impart to this world.

It could be values such as: honesty | creativity | cooperation | peace | compassion | nature Take a few minutes and write down your values. Print them out and put them somewhere where you will view them often. You can get creative and add graphics or drawings to your list. You can frame it if you want to!

LETTERS TO YOURSELF

How about writing a few letters to your future self? Fill those letters with words of encouragement, faith, strength, and hope. Ask a friend to mail these to you monthly or quarterly—whatever you decide! It's like giving yourself a pep talk and the Lord may just work it out where you receive the encouragement just when you need it!

MAKE A VISION BOARD

FOCUS WORD -ORWORDS

Truth cards

Creating a vision board can be a fun project to do by yourself or with others. It can inspire you to keep going towards your goals. Create a vision board with items such as photos, graphics, magazine clippings, quotes, words—selected items that will remind you to live purposefully. It can be as simple or as complex as you want it to be. Get creative! Then keep it in a location in your room where you can look at it from time to time!

Close your eyes and ponder your vision focus for this year. Ask God to help you align your heart with His. See if you can express your vision in just one word or a short phrase. It could be a verb, adjective, or noun! Spend time meditating on this word and ask God to unpack its meaning for you. You can write it, paint it, or sketch it. You can take a photo of what you created and make it the background image on your devices or place it on your mirror so you see it daily.

Examples of verbs: breathe, pray, connect, heal, nurture, love, dance adjectives: pure, simple, healthy, wild, creative, peaceful nouns: freedom, compassion, gratitude, generosity, courage

Part of growing, thriving, and arising is believing the truth. Replacing negative beliefs with positive truths. What are the conversations you have with yourself?

Create small cards on cardstock paper with your favorite short messages to yourself. Keep these tiny cards in your wallet or bag and look at them when you have time during the day when you are waiting for something or have any down time! A quick read can help keep your attitude and perspective positive and renew your mind!

They could be:

• Bible verses that keep you inspired and encouraged • favorite and profound quotes that move your heart • statements of who you are in Christ

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

PHILIPPIANS 4:8 NASB

LETTERS TO YOU FROM GOD

This activity may seem a little ‘different’ at first, but many teenagers have done this activity and really felt God touch them and speak to them! Begin the letter with “Dear (your name).”

Take a moment to pray and ask the Lord to speak to you His encouraging thoughts toward you. Begin writing in first person like you are dictating a letter to you from God. Don’t analyze too much, but just write what comes to mind without giving much thought. The words should be loving and uplifting, reflecting God’s loving Father’s heart.

Now whether that was God really speaking to you or not, you may not know with 100% accuracy, but trust in faith that it was since you asked Him to speak to you. Regardless, receive the encouragement! I am sure God is pleased that you are trying to hear His loving voice and capture just some of His thousands of good thoughts towards you!

69

Walking by faith & stepping into the unknown.

As you reach for something Brave & Beautiful, you might just discover something that will change everything.

Vision - Step. Photo by Asia Brynne Anderson

Taking a RISK can be scary! Risk exposes you to the possibility of loss, failure, or danger, but it also exposes you to unlimited rewards and possibilities...with God. And it can change your life for the better. You the butterfly, can emerge through the struggle from your cocoon more magnificent and breathtakingly dazzling than ever before.

And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.”

HEBREWS 11:6 NLT

For we live by faith, not by sight.”

2 CORINTHIANS 5:7 NIV

70

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

how will you give something Brave & Beautiful to the world?

M IND F UL LET T ERING Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

Action Steps

YOU GO GIRL! LET’S WALK IT OUT.

she is Brave & Beautiful you!

••

She Dreams.

She Creates.

She Arises.

CHOOSE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS STEPS: 1. Become a bigger dreamer by learning about a famous person you admire. Research their

backstory and learn about their life journey—the

victories, the setbacks, and hardships they pushed through. Journal:

• What positive insights/truths have you gleaned from their story that moves you to dream big with God? • How did their story capture the nature of risk?

• In what ways were they beautifully brave?

2. Explore the arts! Whether you are actively involved in the arts or not, we are all created to appreciate artistic expressions such as an eye-catching

painting, photo, a good movie, an amazing song or dance – or nature itself! Get inspired by exposing

yourself to something creatively artistic and ask God to speak to you through it. Here are some ideas: • Attend a live music or dance performance (or watch a video) • Go to see a live play • Visit an art museum • Watch a good movie • Visit the aquarium or zoo

3. Creativity expresses itself in unlimited ways—

through math, science, writing, business, a sense of humor, problem solving, the arts, fixing things, inventing things, and the list goes on! Reflect on

ways that you express your creativity. Pick one of

the expressions you have. Pray about it and explore opportunities around you to develop and grow

in that creative expression—maybe it is taking a class, doing a project, starting a blog, or talking

with a person who is creative in the same way to

glean practical help to develop yourself to a more excellent level in that area!

4. To arise means to be brave and take a risk—to make a choice to grow and stretch yourself out of your

comfort zone! Try one or more of these actions this week…push forward instead of pulling back:

• Speak up in a conversation even though someone may disagree • Reach out to a person you would like to get to know and initiate a short conversation • Share an idea you have that you haven’t told anyone before • Is God asking you to do something, yet you are hesitating? Say YES! Take steps to do it and start your adventure of faith

1-888-373-7888

TOLL-FREE HOTLINE | 24/7 CONFIDENTIAL

Get Help Report Trafficking

73

S P A C E TO P RAC T IC E, D RAW, OR JOURNAL:

74

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

SHE CELEBRATES

JOURNEY 03 • PAGE 8~19

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

When was the last time you expressed gratitude to someone?

•

Who is a person you know personally or know of who has a positive outlook on life and celebrates life despite their circumstance or handicap? Share briefly about this person. (As a leader, share as well).

•

Watch a short YouTube Video of your choice about Nick Vujicic that clearly displays his positive celebration of life and thanksgiving despite his handicap. Ask the group to share their take aways. In what ways does Nick inspire you to celebrate life more?

•

In what ways can being grateful each day effect your mood and perspective?

•

In what ways can being grateful improve your relationships?

•

Psalm 100:4 says to enter the Lord’s gates with thanksgiving. The Bible mentions to give thanks over 100 times. What does this tell you about God and how He loves to be approached?

•

Why do you think it is so important to God that you and I have a thankful heart?

ACTIVITY THANK YOU JOY! Materials Needed: • Timer (can use your phone) • Brave & Beautiful Magazine Instructions: 1.

Start off with this fun icebreaker: Make Me Laugh 1. Divide group into 2 teams 2. One team has to make one person from the other team on the hot seat laugh within 1 minute.

They can do anything except touch the person.

3. If the person on the hot seat shows their teeth (before the minute is up), it's considered laughing and the other team gets a point.

4. The other players on the side can be in charge of keeping time.

5. You can repeat the above instructions so each person in the group has a chance to be in the hot seat if there is time.

6. Highlight that celebrating life by being grateful is a great way to add joy and laughter to your life!

Sometimes celebrating also includes having a sense of humor whenever possible!

2.

3A

Share, “On page 12, you had to list 20 things that you're grateful for. Without looking at your list, let's practice that same exercise again together. Everyone, take a turn and share 5 things off the top of your head, big or small, that you're grateful for. Try to think of something you didn't already write if you can.”

Have a time of sharing.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

3.

Ask the following questions to the group and have the girls share. If the group is large, you can have them break into smaller groups.

- What is something you are grateful for that you did not have 3 years ago?

- What's the nicest thing someone said to you in the past week?

- Which action step from the list found on the bottom of page 12, did you practice this week?

How did it go?

4.

Ask each girl to choose two or three more action steps from page 12 that she will practice this week for their application.

5.

Have everyone share one thing they’re grateful for from this meeting together.

6.

Pray in pairs or as a group to close.

THANK YOU CARDS Materials Needed • Ready-made thank you cards (one for each girl) or blank cardstock that can be folded into a card and decorated • Pen/pencil • (optional) Peaceful instrumental worship music • (optional) Music player/speaker • (optional) Crayons, markers, color pencils, scrapbook paper and embellishments, glue sticks, stickers • Write a thank you letter to someone you appreciate, giving specific examples of why you're grateful for that person. You will need this for the activity.

Instructions 1.

Discuss how a handwritten note is special in these days when so many things are digital. Read aloud a thank you note you received from someone or a note you wrote to give to someone, as an example of things which can be expressed. The more specific the better! Give each girl a thank you card or blank paper.

2.

Have them write a letter to someone in their life, thanking that person for something specific.

3.

They may add a drawing or decorate their card if there's time.

4.

Play soothing music during this activity if you desire.

5.

Encourage the girls to mail, hand deliver their thank you card (if it's possible), or better yet, read their card to this person.

6.

Encourage the girls to make it a lifestyle practice to write handwritten thank you notes to people to express their gratitude.

3B

SHE LOVES

JOURNEY 03 • PAGE 20~29

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

Referring to the article, Being a Good Friend on pages 22-23, which way of loving others do you want to improve in and why?

•

Looking at this same list, how do you typically show love for others?

•

Of the many ways of expressing love, how do you prefer others show their love for you?

•

Relook at the article, For Real, Be a Safe Person on page 25. Share a time when you were hurting, opened your heart, and then someone said or did something that made you feel worse! What did they say? (So, you can avoid making that same mistake towards others,)

•

Recall a time when you opened your heart, were vulnerable in your sharing and the person who listened to you made you feel comforted and safe. What did they say or do that made you feel you could trust them and that you felt understood?

•

What qualities make a good friend?

ACTIVITY THE LISTENING EAR Materials Needed: • Chart paper • Marker Instructions: 1.

Discuss the difficulty in being a good listener—that active listening takes practice and that we must learn the skill and art of listening. We can always grow in improving our listening skills!

2.

As a group, brainstorm the actions that a good listener does and doesn’t do (such as eye contact, not being on their phone etc.) and record their ideas on the chart paper.

3.

Share that today you will give them two tools to practice in active listening—which are: 1. REPHRASING: Learn to rephrase what the person just said in your own words.

2. REFLECTING BACK FEELINGS: Use a phrase to affirm and rephrase what you think they are feeling.

3C

4.

Emphasize that the rule is, they cannot comment, give advice, or say anything else aside from rephrasing or reflecting back feelings. Explain that using these two skills takes focus and effort!

5.

Call up a volunteer to partner with you to model what you want them to do. You and your volunteer should face each other while sitting in chairs in front of the group.

6.

Have the volunteer share about a problem or concern they have. (They can make one up.)

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

7.

As a leader, during the natural pauses in the conversation, rephrase back to the volunteer what you are hearing, such as, “So you are saying that you went to the store and then…” If you want to, you can ask, “Is what I said accurate?”

8.

During the activity, reflect their feelings back to them using appropriate phrases such as, “It seems that you are feeling very sad and disappointed about what happened,” or “It sounds like that really angered you.”

9.

Have the group break into pairs and have them practice being the listener and the person sharing a problem or concern. Give them 5 minutes (or longer) for each round.

10. Discuss as a group how that experience was for them.

11.

Encourage them to practice these two active listening skills in their conversations to help the other person feel listened to and valued.

APPRECIATION NOTES Materials Needed • Pencils • Stationary for each participant • (optional) Peaceful instrumental worship music • (optional) Music player/speaker Instructions 1.

Have participants write a letter of love/affirmation to a friend that was placed in their inner circle of friends on page 27. Encourage them to express their love and appreciation to this person. Music can be played while the girls are writing.

2.

Another option is to have participants write a letter of love/affirmation to themselves. Ask them to consider all the gifts God has blessed them with that they love and appreciate about themselves and how they could use these gifts to share God's love with others.

3.

If participants are somewhat well acquainted with each other, ask them to either verbally share or write on paper the God-given gifts, talents, skills, and blessings that they appreciate about each member of the group.

FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES Materials Needed • A copy of the Five Love Language Quiz for each person (you should be able to easily find a free downloadable quiz online) • Pen/pencil Instructions 1.

Have each person take the 5 Love Languages quiz.

2.

Have each person share their top two main love languages. It can be fun to learn more about the best way to express love to friends and family in the ways they best receive love.

3D

SHE GIVES

JOURNEY 03 • PAGE 30~36

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

What does it mean to be generous?

•

What is the most generous gift you have received? Who did you receive it from? Why is it special to you?

•

God gave all of us an extremely generous gift—the gift of forgiveness through Jesus Christ, His Son. How does this gift express God's love for you?

ACTIVITY APPRECIATION NOTES Materials Needed: • Paper and pencil for each participant Instructions: 1.

Ask each participant to generate a list of gifts for others that do not cost any money.

2.

Ask each participant to share their list and create a group list of gift ideas.

3.

If participants are fairly well acquainted with each other, they could do a gift exchange. Ask each participant to pick a name from "a hat." The participant gives a gift that must be created from the heart to express their love and appreciation for the recipient at the next meeting.

BAKED GOODIES Materials Needed: • Recipe and ingredients for a baked good of choice (like cookies, brownies etc.)

• Utensils and dishes needed • Packing materials Instructions:

3E

1.

During the meeting prior to doing this activity, brainstorm as a group and create a list of people or groups of people you could bless with baked goods (such as the elderly in your church, a needy family, an organization that houses the homeless, or the local fire station etc.)

2.

During the meeting prior to doing this activity, also decide on the baked good that the group wants to provide.

3.

As a group, follow the recipe and prepare and package the baked goodies.

4.

The group can also create tags or notes with encouraging words on them for each bag of goodies.

5.

If possible, deliver the goodies to the recipients as a group.

6.

Debrief as a group any take aways from this activity as related to being generous.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

HOLIDAY GENEROSITY Materials Needed: • Make a list of materials needed depending on what holiday gifts or project the group decided on. The project can be as small and simple, or as large as the group decides. The ability to commit their time is a determining factor in how big or small to go. (Examples: You can look into coordinating Samaritan’s Purse Shoe Box Gift Giving for Christmas (Operation Christmas Child), or make Valentine gifts for the patients in a local elderly care home etc.)

Instructions: 1.

As a group (or even parent/mentor and teen girl pair) plan and implement this holiday project that demonstrates generosity with a holiday theme.

2.

Ask God for creative ideas and be creative and innovative!

3.

Debrief the experience after the project is completed.

RADICAL GENEROSITY Materials Needed: • Look up ‘Acts of Generosity’ or ‘Big Tips for Servers’ on YouTube and find a great clip of generosity in action that you can show in your group meeting. There are some great clips of customers giving waiters or waitresses huge tips that are very moving.

• The movie, The Ultimate Gift Instructions: 1.

Discuss how generosity is not necessarily about the amount given, but it’s about attitude. For example, someone who has very little but gives much of that they have, can be considered very generous.

Sometimes we might imagine that if we had MORE money, then we could be more generous. In reality, if you aren’t generous with a little, you won’t be generous if you have a lot. Generosity is a heart issue.

2.

As a leader, give examples of generosity you have experienced in your life.

3.

Share I Timothy 6:18 NLT, “Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others.” Discuss how whether we consider ourselves wealthy or not, we can be generous and giving! In some countries, the poor will serve all they have to feed a guest in their home!

4.

Watch the YouTube video showing radical generosity that you prepared. Discuss take-aways.

5.

Watch the movie, The Ultimate Gift and discuss take aways.

6.

As an optional application—the next time you go out as a group for a snack, practice radical generosity and give a HUGE unexpected tip to the server as you feel led, along with words of affirmation and gratitude! Discuss take-aways from that experience. As a leader, you could pay the tip or ask if any of the teens want to contribute a portion to bless the server.

3F

SHE DREAMS

JOURNEY 03 • PAGE 40~47

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

What is something that excites you? What is something you can do this week or this month to take step toward exploring this?

•

The burdens of our heart can spur us to dream of a better world—and perhaps God may be calling us to those very areas where we can be part of the solution. Share 1-2 issues in your community or world that especially burdens you and share why. (Examples: homelessness, political corruption, racism—anything that really concerns you)

•

What are 1-3 fun dreams you have? (travel to a certain place, bungee jump etc.)

•

What is one dream you have for your future?

ACTIVITY DREAM MOBILE Materials Needed: • • • •

Hanger for each girl Assorted colors of yarn Beads/Feathers Cardstock paper (can be various colors of cardstock or thicker scrapbooking paper) • Color markers/Color pencils/Crayons

• • • • •

Scissors Hole Puncher Glue Peaceful Instrumental Worship Music Music player/speaker

Instructions: 1.

Play peaceful instrumental worship music.

2.

Ask each girl to think of dreams they currently have for themselves and to pray about dreams that God may have for them.

3.

Ask each girl to draw a picture or write a word to represent each of their dreams, cut and decorate their paper and tie it onto their hanger to create their Dream Mobile.

4.

If time permits, ask girls to share their Dream Mobiles.

JAR OF DREAMS Materials Needed: • • • •

Glass jar for each girl Assorted colored strips of paper 1” x 2” Permanent Markers Glitter, various embellishments like rhinestones found in craft stores.

• Craft glue • (optional) Pretty printed tissue paper or

3G

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

paper napkins and matte MOD PODGE (MOD PODGE is typically found in craft stores or on Amazon) with brushes and scissors • Peaceful instrumental worship music • Music player/speaker • (optional) Glitter Glue

Instructions: 1.

Play peaceful instrumental worship music.

2.

Ask each girl to think of dreams they currently have for themselves and to ask our Heavenly Father about the dreams that He may have for them.

3.

Ask each girl to write each of their dreams on a different strip of paper then add it to their Jar of Dreams. If they need assistance thinking about their dreams, you might prompt them to think about their dreams for their career, extracurricular activities, family, living location, etc.

4.

Have the participants decorate their jar with glitter and/or embellishments

5.

Optional: If you provided pretty, printed tissue paper or paper napkins and MOD PODGE, have participants cut out the designs they want (like printed flowers) and with a brush and MOD PODGE, participants can decoupage their jar. (The MOD PODGE will dry clear.) Check out YouTube for how tos.

Adding embellishments after decoupaging is optional.

DREAMING BIG Materials Needed:

• Laptop or smart phone for each participant

Instructions: 1.

Discuss the power and practice of dreaming big and looking at possibilities.

2.

Go over a few verses of your choice that encourages dreaming and yet affirms God’s great plans and purposes for each person. Discuss that we also want to be grounded in biblical heart attitudes. Here are some possible verses: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” Romans 12:2 ESV “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” Jeremiah 29:11 ESV He replied, “What is impossible for people is possible with God.” Luke 18:27 ESV

3.

Discuss that there are many people living now or in history who have dreamt big and have accomplished so much because of their ability to have vision despite their circumstances.

Such people can inspire us to dream big as well.

4.

Give each person about 20 minutes to search on the internet for a person they know of who accomplished a dream they had and read about their journey.

5.

Have each girl share in the large group some fast inspirational facts about the person they read about.

BUCKET LIST Materials Needed: • Paper and pen

Instructions: 1.

Have each person spend a few minutes creating a bucket list of 10 things they would like to do in their life.

2.

Have a time of sharing 1-3 things from their list with others.

3.

Discuss how we may not achieve in doing everything on our list, but God has a way of surprising and blessing us—He cares what is in our hearts!

3H

SHE CREATES

JOURNEY 03 • PAGE 48~55

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

Many people relate the word creativity only to the arts. However, every person is creative in their own unique way. What do you like to do to express your creative side? Solve problems? Create systems and organization? Play a musical instrument? Sing? Dance? Invent? Paint? Doodle? Bake? Write? Work on Arts/Crafts? Strategize?

•

Expressing our creativity and innovation requires RISK! People may judge you, your idea may not work, or other challenges may arise. Do you sometimes hold back in expressing your ideas or acting on a creative idea or are you a natural risk taker and love the challenge? What tends to keep you from taking risks?

•

What do you do to get into your creative/innovative zone?

•

IBM conducted a survey in 2020 involving 1500 CEOs of businesses in 60 countries and in 33 industries to find out what they believed was the #1 key to success. Guess what! CREATIVITY ranked #1 above having vision and management abilities. Why do you think creativity is so important to have a successful business?

ACTIVITY READ ALOUD STORY Materials Needed: • Read Aloud website or hard copy of the book "Ish" • Peaceful instrumental worship music • Music player/speaker Instructions: •

Google a Read Aloud or borrow the book, "Ish" by Peter Reynolds (This is a story about a little boy who doesn't think his work is perfect enough to display and throws out his drawings. His sister picks up all of his discarded work and displays them because they are ___ish. The little boy realizes that it's ok to not be perfect and instead appreciates and values being -ish.)

•

Discuss: • Which character do you relate the most to? Why? • What do you think the characters learned?

• What lesson do you think the author wants you to remember?

3I

•

Put on quiet, reflective music and ask the girls to listen to what God is inspiring them to create—a song, dance, picture, recipe, poem, etc.

•

Ask for volunteers to share their creation.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

INSPIRED PAINTING Materials Needed: • Acrylic paints • Paper plates or plastic paint palates • Canvases (you can find good deals at Walmart or stores as Ross) • Brushes

• • • •

Worship music (optional) Pencils Paper towels Cups with water to rinse brushes for each person

Instructions: •

Explain that everyone will be painting something that God inspires them to paint after a short time of prayer.

•

Have the group close their eyes as they spend a couple minutes asking the Lord to give them a picture of something that expresses either how He sees her symbolically or expresses an encouraging message.

•

Have them put a few dollops of various paint colors of their choice onto their plate or palate to begin with and have them start painting.

•

Play worship music.

•

Have a time of sharing their painting, the meaning behind it, affirming everyone’s creation!

INNOVATION Materials Needed • A large box of drinking straws for each group of 2-3 people • A bag of larger “T” pins for each team Instructions 1.

Discuss that creativity spans beyond the arts and is needed in business, every single career and industry. Have the group brainstorm and call out examples of creativity and innovation in action in non-artistic work. For example, creativity and innovation is vital in: - Construction work - Medical surgery - Plumbing

- Science research - Architect - Engineering

- Computer programming

2.

Brainstorm ways that we all create every day and don’t realize it! Creativity is at work in many activities and we can ask God to help inspire us—as He is the most wildly creative, innovative God! Some examples to get the ideas flowing are: creating a text with or without emojis, make a sandwich, solve a math problem, fixing something that broke, planning an event, writing a paper etc.

3.

Discuss how creativity and innovation can increase when you collaborate with others for ideas and solutions. Break up the group into groups of 2-3 and give each a box of straws and pins.

4.

Explain that they will be given 20 minutes to build the tallest structure that is able to stand tall and not collapse using the straws and pins to attach them together.

5.

When time is up, have fun looking at everyone’s creations!

6.

Discuss what were their take-aways regarding creativity at work in the activity?

3J

SHE ARISES

JOURNEY 03 • PAGE 56~72

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

What would you like us to pray for as you arise?

•

How do you see God calling you to arise and how can we support you?

•

Share your personal vision statement from page 67.

ARISE ACTIVITY Materials Needed: • • • • • • •

6 pieces of paper per participant 1 large poster board size paper per participant Pencils/Markers/Crayons/Colored Pencils Scissors Glue Soaking/meditation music Music player/speaker

Instructions: •

Open this time with a prayer for the girls to feel God's peace and encouragement as they arise.

•

Play soaking/meditation music.

•

Give each participant 3 pieces of paper. On each paper, have the girls write about something they want to overcome and rise above. When done, have them crumple and throw away each paper.

•

Give each participant 3 new pieces of paper and ask them to write down things that they look forward to aspiring toward. Have them glue these onto a larger poster board paper, decorate it, and place it someplace in their room, home, etc. where they will be able to see it daily and be reminded of who they are arising and aspiring to be!

WORD PICTURES Materials Needed: • Journal • Word picture samples (found on Google) • Computers/printers if available Instructions:

3K

•

Explain to the girls, “Ask God to share a specific word that reflects an area that He is growing you in.

Pick a positive attribute or character trait. As you arise, you will shine Jesus’ light to the world even brighter! Write the word in your journal.”

•

Next, have the girls ask the Lord to show them a picture of something in their mind that could symbolize that word. For example, maybe the word ‘kindness’ came to mind. A person might be inspired with a picture of a bunny rabbit which represents that gentle, soft kindness that is highlighted.

•

Explain, “The picture you receive will remind/reinforce/establish what God is growing in you.”

•

If computers are available, visit: https://wordart.com to create a word cloud as another creative way to visualize the way one is arising and growing. If using this style of word art, then each girl can write down additional related words to represent that area they are arising in.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

REMINDER MUGS Materials Needed • Dishwasher Safe MOD PODGE (available online, Amazon, craft stores)

they want to type and print out for their project during this craft time.

• Flat brushes Scissors

• (optional) Scrapbooking sheet that already has many various positive sayings to cut out. In this case, the girls can simply choose and cut out their favorite saying.

• Cardstock, scrapbooking paper • (optional) glitter • Pre-printed quotes, Bible verses, that have to do with arising forth. It could be along any of the themes covered in the Brave and Beautiful Journey. They must be sized to decorate a mug with. *Or if possible, have a laptop and printer available so girls can search for 1-2 quotes or scripture

• White mugs, one per participant (mugs can purchased online or at Dollar stores make sure they are clean, and wipe with alcohol to remove any oils or grime) • Laptop to watch a YouTube Video on ‘How to make mugs with dishwasher safe MOD PODGE.’

Instructions •

Discuss how we all need reminders to walk out the themes in Brave & Beautiful—discuss how growth and change is a process! Explain how the project today is about decorating a mug with a favorite quote or scripture that will help them to stay the course.

•

Introduce this project by watching a YouTube on how to use Dishwasher Safe MOD PODGE.

•

Give the participants time to create their mug.

•

Have a time of sharing what they created and why they chose their particular quote or verse.

Celebrate everyone’s creation.

•

Encourage the girls that they can use their mugs to drink or as a container for pens or anything!

The purpose of this mug is to remind them of a truth or encouragement to live by!

LETTER TO YOUR YOUNGER SELF Materials Needed • Lined paper or journal for each person

•

Pens

Instructions •

Discuss that as each girl has matured over the years, each of them has gained new insights that they didn’t have when they were 5 or 8 years old in elementary school. Each of them has grown and is arising forth in many ways.

•

Ask each girl to reflect about who they were as a little girl.

•

Explain that they are going to do an activity that can be an interesting way to discover the wisdom they now have—all part of the arising process. Explain that they are to write an encouraging letter to their younger self.

•

Discuss how their younger self had an innocence and a childlike way of viewing the world. Explain that sometimes our childhood holds good memories, and some may have sad, even traumatic memories.

Regardless, their older self has gained new insights about life and God over the years.

•

Have each girl write a short encouraging letter to their younger self. Have them express loving affirmation to that ‘little girl’ and encouraging words to persevere, knowing there is a rising up that is happening in later years!

3L

GROW IN WISDOM. PROTECT YOURSELF FROM SEX TRAFFICKING.

4

urney

FOR GIRLS OF FAITH

1

The leaves on the covers of our Brave & Beautiful Series represent the leaves from the tree of life that are for the healing of the nations. We pray this Brave & Beautiful Journey will bring healing and life to you as well as to the nations of the world.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL Copyright © 2022 Releasing Generations Published by Releasing Generations Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

All articles, art, and photographs have been published and printed with the permission of their creators.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations from The Authorized (King James) Version. Rights in the Authorized Version in the United Kingdom are vested in the Crown. Reproduced by permission of the Crown’s patentee, Cambridge University Press.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version®.

Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the Holy Scriptures, Tree of Life Version*. Copyright © 2014,2016 by the Tree of Life Bible Society.

Used by permission of the Tree of Life Bible Society.

Art Direction and Graphic Design: Ahava Design, LLC. Photos by Unsplash and Pixabay.

BRAVEANDBEAUTIFUL.WORLD Brave & Beautiful is a publication created by Explicit Movement, a Christian faith-based movement that heals and empowers youth and young adults to walk in sexual integrity and healthy relationships as they embrace their God-given identity and God's beautiful design for sex. We provide faith-based resources that equip youth, young adults, parents, and church leaders to have conversations concerning healthy dating and navigating sexuality issues with confidence, leading the way for young people to thrive in relationships.

CREDITS COVER Floral pattern: Maria Galybina. 29 Louisa Wendorff/Austin Lord Photography

Welcome to Journey 4!

Dear Reader, You are called to be a Brave Heart.

She listens. In Journey 4, you are called to listen to wisdom. We will give you tools to protect yourself from being coerced and victimized into sex trafficking by friends, schoolmates, online predators, or strangers—people you know or don’t know well—in person or online. Our heart is for you to not walk in fear, but instead walk in wisdom and confidence! Trust God and rely on His leading. May this publication empower you to protect yourself and others you care about.

TWO MILLION WOMEN MISSING EACH YEAR: Susan Tiefenbrun, a professor at the Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego, California, discovered after extensive human trafficking research that more than two million women are missing each year due to being bought and sold for sexual exploitation.

ANTI-SEX-TRAFFICKING is a justice issue and a cause we invite you to join. Have the courage to LISTEN and be moved in your heart.

As sisters in Him, let us make a difference together!

Be blessed!

• Take a moment to ponder this fact.

• Allow God’s heartbreak over this crisis to touch you.

Michele Okimura Executive Director, Explicit Movement

BraveAndBeautiful.world 4

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

PORNOGRAPHY

10

SEXUAL ABUSE & TRAUMA

16

SEX TRAFFICKING

32

VOICES OF FREEDOM

50

HOPE RISING

58

5

Imagine A Place…

BY MICHELE OKIMURA

Imagine a place.

A place where heaven’s light exposes darkness So that nothing is hidden.

A place where God’s Beloved are invited To dance and embrace the Light.

Imagine a safe place.

A place where vulnerability is welcomed, Safeguarded, and honored.

Where voices are heard And genuine love transforms lives.

Imagine a resting place.

Homes. Where children and youth Freely entrust their hearts to their parents.

A safe home, where answers to difficult issues Are discovered together…with no shame.

Imagine an honoring place.

Where sexual integrity is embraced.

Where purity is guarded and valued.

A place where battles to protect the marriage bed are won.

Where God’s design for sexuality is celebrated and sacred.

6

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Imagine a healing place.

A place where no person feels alone, unwanted, unloved.

A place where each understands their immense value.

Where lives and broken relationships are restored.

Where God’s forgiveness, grace, and power abound.

Imagine a heavenly place.

Where individuals, families, Cities and nations experience true transformation.

Because the Father made Himself known.

Because Heaven kissed earth through His people.

Imagine a place.

Where no one hides in the darkness, Or in the loneliness of their personal closets.

But is welcomed and beckoned forth To partner with God and help change the world.

7

Nothing happens just because we are aware.

But nothing will ever happen until we are

aware

GARY HAUGEN

8

LISTEN BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

VOLUME 04 – PART 1

Connect the dots...

Welcome! You are closer to the finish line! This final stretch of your pathway brings you to an important destination.

Previous chapters have prepared you to now LISTEN to the voices you will hear in this section. Lean in and keep your heart open as you: • Listen to truths and stories that will enlighten your mind and move your heart.

• Listen to the voices of encouragement cheering you on to walk in your personal power as you make positive, healthy choices.

• And listen even more to the voices of wisdom that can literally save your life and the life of your friends.

BUT FIRST, THERE ARE SOME DOTS TO BE CONNECTED…

Ok, we get it! Talking about the following topics is not light and comfortable conversation! Yet these activities saturate our culture today and may sooner or later touch your life if they have not already: PORNOGRAPHY: The average age of first exposure to

pornography in America is 8-11 years old. We live in a culture where almost all, if not all teen boys have viewed or are addicted to pornography. Teen girls viewing pornography is on the rise and is often considered a normal pastime. Yet, viewing pornography damages relationships, fuels the demand

+ Pornography + Sex Abuse + Sex trafficking

for sex-trafficking, and promotes violence against females.

We want to empower you to live healthy and victoriously with sexual integrity—God’s wonderful design for you!

SEX ABUSE: There is a strong correlation between having

been sexually abused and being more vulnerable to being sex trafficked. Research has shown that 93% - 98% of sex trafficked victims were previous victims of sex abuse or molestation. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention findings state that more than 1 in 3 women and nearly 1 in 4 men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact at some point in their lives. It is possible that, even though you have not been sexually abused yourself, you may know someone who has been mistreated in this way. You may have wondered how you can help them heal. We are here to empower you.

SEX TRAFFICKING: What?! You may think that sex

trafficking is irrelevant to you, that it might happen to other people, but certainly not to you! Hopefully you are correct.

But recruiters, who often pose as friends, seduce, trick, manipulate, and deceive teen girls into being trapped. It will benefit you greatly to know their tactics to better protect yourself and other teen girls you know.

HEALING: We hope this section will not only encourage you

personally, but also support you as you grow in becoming a safe place for your friends and loved ones in need of help.

Get ready to gather golden nuggets of insight, wisdom, and tools that will help you to shine successfully and brilliantly as brave and beautiful you!

“Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you.

Love her, and she will guard you.

Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!

And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.”

PROVERBS 4:6-7 NLT

9

Pornography Sexual Abuse & Trauma Sex Trafficking

Connecting the Dots…

10

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Hey girl! What does PORN have to do with It?

“The most powerful sex organ is actually your brain. If you are regularly feeding your brain images that are designed to inspire lust, its gong to be difficult to rule your thoughts and keep you from violating your virtues.” -Kris Valloton 11

You’re getting pornified.

FREE FROM PORN! LIVING AN EMPOWERED, HEALTHY SEXUAL LIFE YOU CAN BE PROUD OF

By Dean Kaneshiro

Porn is destroying the lives of young women. And the scariest part? No one wants to talk about it. In fact, hardcore pornography itself is not just a fast-growing addiction for young women today, but it is silently doing something equally destructive all around them as well: it is creating a pornified culture.

Pornified culture is a term I first heard from Dr. Gail Dines who uses it to describe how violent, objectifying, women-hating porn is slowly influencing every part of our culture…without us even recognizing it.

Think about the posters and ads and magazine covers you see in shops and at the mall. Or YouTube music videos from female pop stars and hip-hop artists. Or the hyper-sexualized selfies on your friends’ Insta or Snapchat. Or the normal, everyday occurrence of sexting a guy you think is cute after he hits you up: “send nudes.”

There is a strong cultural pressure on young women and girls to sexualize themselves for the pleasure and acceptance of men.

It’s not just limited to porn, as awful and dehumanizing as that is. It is creeping into every aspect of our culture. And here’s where it gets super scary: it is grooming young women and girls to be taken advantage of, abused, or even trafficked for sex. And yes, I mean you too.

If you can break the lie “this will never happen to me” and awaken to the slimy tricks of how pornified culture is grooming you to be taken advantage of, you can stay free from its toxic influence. And not just that, you’ll be on your way to living an empowered and healthy sexual life you can be proud of.

The only question is: are you willing to do the hard work necessary to know the signs, get free…and stay free?

3 KEYS TO BREAKING PORN’S POWER You ready? Here we go…

1. Cut out harmful social media and pornified media. The

majority of young women your age confess their #1 struggle on social media is comparing themselves with other girls’ bodies.

Am I right?

12

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

For many of you, it’s time to take the 21-Day Unplugged Challenge. This is when you grab a few friends or family members and together you cut out all social media for 21 days (you may want to include entertainment screens as well, like video games, TV, and streaming movies and sites like YouTube).

We do this as a family twice a year and it’s amazing how it detoxes your heart and rewires your mind (…BTW, if you’re thinking right now, “I could never do this!” then chances are you NEED to do this).

Another thing you may need to do is delete social media apps that feed your insecurities, encourage you to compare yourself with others and are filled with pornified culture (and have hooks leading into hardcore porn itself, which every social media app has).

Delete them, Dean? Are you crazy?

I dunno’, was Jesus crazy when he said: “If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

MATTHEW 5:29, UNDERLINE ADDED, NIV

If you know—and you already do as you’re reading this—there are social media apps, TV shows, or streaming services you’re connected to that are dragging you down a dangerous path of sin, you’ve got to cut that stuff out and “throw it away.” Your soul is too valuable.

One 20-something friend of mine gave up his iPhone and switched it out for a flip phone for months until he could get his heart right with the Lord and himself. He had to “gouge” out certain apps and streaming services because he was losing his soul.

Paul put it this way when he was talking about stuff like this to the Corinthian Christians: “Flee from sexual immorality…”

I CORINTHIANS 6:18, UNDERLINED ADDED, NIV

Here’s the trick: don’t play with fire…don’t fool around with sin.

FLEE and RUN AWAY from it.

That’s a personalized word from God for you today ;).

2. Capture a vision for an awesome sexual relationship in

marriage. One thing we really suck at in church is talking about sex in a positive, empowering, beautiful way—the way God designed it to be in our lives when we get married.

Make sure you invest in your heart and mind by building a vision for having a super-fulfilling, healthy sexual relationship with your future husband. You don’t need to dwell on all the details right now or “awaken love before its time” (Song of Solomon 8:4), but you need to make sure you have a Godcentered view of sex. Because that’s positive. That’s a goal.

And when you have a vision for something powerful and beautiful, it’s easier to say NO to the things that come your way to destroy it. A YES to God’s design and timing is a NO to pornography and pornified culture in all its forms.

3. Build your value and identity in the Lord. Make time

to invest in your own worth and to ask God to help you feel His love for you.

Paul wrote in Ephesians 3:19 that we could “know this love that surpasses knowledge.” That word “know” means that we would experience it…feel it. Not just understand it in our minds (which is important too!).

Don’t stop asking, seeking, and receiving this affirming love of the Lord. Because it will replace your desire to seek for affirmation from dudes.

In fact, a young woman who is looking for affirmation from guys is a sitting duck. A girl who needs the attention of young men around her is going to make unhealthy choices regarding her sexuality. When you are not secure in God’s rock-solid love and unconditional acceptance of you, you look for that in people’s approval and the sexualized attention of the guys in your life.

And honestly, that’s the core of the majority of toxic issues you’ll ever deal with right there.

So, build a deeply rooted value in Jesus and identity that is grounded in the Father’s love. To the degree you have that is the degree you’ll be free from pornified culture, sexting, hardcore porn addictions, and hook ups.

Imagine life as an adult—an empowered woman who knows who she is in God and is free from porn and the trap of living for the pleasure of men.

Imagine looking into the eyes of your soon-to-be-husband on your wedding day without the fear of sexual images of yourself floating around out there online…and with nothing to hide from him in darkness or shame.

It’s time to fight today for a reality where you deeply know your value in the Lord and you are free from the slavery and traps set by pornography. THAT is a sexually satisfying vision for your future.

Get educated about the harms and pitfalls of porn and how predators manipulate young women to trap them into sex trafficking. Take action on setting yourself free…whatever it takes.

You can do it. Your soul is worth it.

Dean Kaneshiro is the creator of the FamilyTECHGamePlan Online Course (FamilyTechGamePlan.com) and is a certified Building Family Connections instructor through the Medical Institute for Sexual Health. He teaches on parenting, marriage, dating, and sexuality.

LIVE FOR LOVE

THE HUMAN SIDE OF PORN: HEART TO HEART

By Brittni De La Mora

Brittni De La Mora is one our much-loved Explicit Movement Speaker Team Members. Her beautiful redemptive story displays the immense love of our Heavenly Father to rescue and restore each one of us. Once known as one of the most famous porn stars in the world, she now ministers with her husband Richard through Love Always Ministries, a ministry that helps people live on purpose by discovering God's love and leading a life of purity. Brittni travels around the world preaching the gospel and sharing the love of God that set her free.

I had blonde hair and braces. I was terrified as I spun around the pole at the strip club in Mexico for the first time at the age of 16. “What am I doing? How did I end up here?” I thought. Life had taken a sudden turn, but as I heard the applause of people cheering me on as I took my shirt off, I thought I had finally found what my soul had been hungering for...affirmation.

Growing up in my household I never heard the words, “I am proud of you. I love you. You’re doing an amazing job.” I was a straight A-student, I should have heard those words. Instead I heard, “I hate you! I wish you were never born. You’re a loser.”

These words broke me of all courage and robbed me of my confidence. I didn’t know who I was nor what I was purposed for on this earth. The day I realized my life had no real meaning was the day my search began. I knew I wanted to find love, but I had no idea what that even looked like, nor where to find it.

After jumping from man to man ending in heartbreak after heartbreak, I ended up in the strip club. That night I received so much affirmation, I thought I had finally found my purpose in

life. I also thought I had found real true love. Never in my life had I been more affirmed than I was that night in the strip club The affirmation made me feel like I finally belonged somewhere, I didn’t feel like a reject in the strip club. I felt wanted. At 18-years old, the strip club led me into the adult film industry where I was named one of the world’s hottest porn stars.

However, something was still missing. Suddenly, what once fed my hunger now left me hungry. Affirmation was no longer enough to feed my soul. I needed something more, something greater than myself.

I imagine this must be how the Samaritan woman must have felt prior to encountering Jesus at the well. After five failed marriages and having a live-in boyfriend, it is clear to me she was looking for love in all the wrong places. Like me, she was feeding her soul with what was never designed to feed it. Like the Samaritan woman, Jesus came to my rescue. He fed me everything I had ever hungered for. He showed me a love so deep, it made every other ounce of love I had ever received appear so shallow.

When we hunger and thirst for God, it is then and only then we will be filled. When the woman at the well encountered Jesus, her life was forever changed. She was fed living water that created life within her.

Prayer: “Father, I want to encounter you like the woman at the well did. I have been feeding on things that have not satisfied my soul. I recognize only you can do that. I pray you will lead me into a place where I can feel satisfied with and full of your presence. I surrender my will and I give you my life. In Jesus name, Amen.”

13

M IND F UL LET T ERING Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

S PA C E TO P RAC T IC E, D RAW, OR JOURNAL :

15

Pornography Sexual Abuse & Trauma Sex Trafficking

Connecting the Dots…

16

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

FACT:

A great percentage of sex trafficked victims in America have a history of childhood sexual abuse, putting them at higher risk.

“The one thing shared by 84 percent of survivors is a history of childhood sexual abuse.”

Sexual Abuse

J. RAPHAEL AND K FEIFER

17

DEAR VICKY…

QUESTIONS FROM A TEENAGER

By Vicky Wong

WHAT IS IT? DEAR VICKY, WHAT IS SEXUAL ABUSE?

That is a great question to ask – people may have different beliefs about what it is. Here are some helpful definitions: • It’s any sort of sexual contact, sexual touching or penetration into your private areas that is non-consensual (without permission), unwanted, forced, threatened and against your will.

• It’s any sexual contact to someone who is not capable to consent, such as the person is drunk, drugged, has physical limitations or mental health issues.

• It’s exposure to offensive remarks, verbal suggestions, or insults about a person's body or sexual activities.

• It’s exposure to distressing or unwanted sexual images, pictures or movies.

Hope that helps!

WHAT ABOUT PORN? DEAR VICKY, MY UNCLE WOULD ALWAYS WATCH PORNOGRAPHY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME? IS THAT SEXUAL ABUSE? 18

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Yes, openly watching and exposing explicit, graphic and disturbing pornographic movies with a child or teenager is a form of sexual abuse. These images are distressing and have longterm effects and memories that are traumatizing to talk about and remember.

CHILD ABUSE DEAR VICKY, WHAT IS CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE?

This is also a great question.

Sexual abuse is any sexual act with a child under age 18 by an adult or an older child.

Older children can sexually abuse younger children which could include younger siblings or younger cousins. There’s a power difference so the adult or older child touches or forces the younger child to do things sexually he/she does not want to do.

These include:

• Sexual touching of any part of the body with or without clothes.

• Sexual intercourse or penetration into your mouth.

• Showing or taking explicit pornographic pictures or graphic images.

CAN CHILDREN ABUSE CHILDREN? DEAR VICKY, CAN SEXUAL ABUSE HAPPEN BETWEEN CHILDREN?

Yes, sexual abuse happens when there is sexual activity without permission as a result of physical force, manipulation, threats, emotional trickery or

teasing to make the other person co-operate. It’s done deliberately to sexually stimulate the other person.

In many instances, one child takes advantage of another child’s naiveté, and the victim isn’t really aware of what is happening to them. Yet those acts are highly traumatizing to the child victim.

SOMEONE I KNOW DEAR VICKY, IS SEXUAL ABUSE USUALLY DONE BY STRANGERS OR PEOPLE THAT YOU KNOW?

Children most often are abused by someone they know, and a person they or their parents trusted. This includes family members, family friends, babysitters, neighbors, and acquaintances. Only a small percentage of sexual assaults on children are ever reported to the police. Many victims don’t share their stories until years and decades later.

ABUSE AT WHAT AGE? DEAR VICKY, AT WHAT AGE DO KIDS USUALLY GET SEXUALLY ABUSED? DOES THIS HAPPEN OFTEN?

The most common age of child sexual abuse is between 8-12 years of age. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy; the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network; and the WINGS foundation: • 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 5 boys will be sexually abused by the time they turn 18.

• 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will survive a rape or an attempted rape in their lifetime.

• Men are more commonly the offenders but approximately 20% of child sexual offenses are committed by women.

WHAT HAPPENS? DEAR VICKY, WHAT DOES SOMEONE WHO’S BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED GO THROUGH?

A victim of sexual abuse went through a trauma. Imagine being in a severe car accident and being hit by a driver that totaled the car and nearly totaled you. You’re in the hospital fighting to survive.

You are needing immediate medical attention and a strong support system to help you restore strength and life inside of you.

Just like the car accident, the sexual abuse victim often feels ‘totaled’—emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Every day can feel like a battle to survive because you feel you can never tell anybody about it. There is too much fear, shame, guilt, and lies in your head believing the abuse was all your fault or something you deserved.

You can feel like there are no doctors to help, no family members you can turn to, and nobody there for you to talk through your pain.

The truth is: you can be healed and restored. It’s a process that takes courage, trust, and finding the right people to help.

Thank you for asking these important questions especially when research has shown that more than 1 in 4 women have been sexually abused in their past. If you haven’t experienced sexual abuse, chances are you know someone who has.

The truth is, the vast majority of sex trafficked

victims have experienced sexual abuse in their past, making them extremely vulnerable to being groomed into sex trafficking.

I hope this column equipped you with some powerful knowledge and understanding!

Vicky Wong is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Mental Health Counselor. She holds a Master of Science in Counseling Psychology from Chaminade University.

Additionally, Vicky is a Licensed Minister with the Assemblies of God denomination. Along with her husband, Rev. Terry Wong, they pastor Calvary Assembly of God in Honolulu, Hawaii.

Blessings!

EXPLORING AND UNDERSTANDING TRAUMA

NAVIGATING THE JOURNEY TOWARDS HEALING

By Melody Stone

Trauma is an emotional scar that results in deep pain, shame, or guilt from witnessing or being the victim of violence or a terrible event. A car accident, being bullied, experiencing sexual, verbal or physical abuse, being abandoned or rejected, or the death of a loved one are common experiences that may result in a person being diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD affects our ability to think rationally, make decisions and process information, trust ourselves or others, heal from painful experiences and function in our daily lives.

Imagine walking through a jungle and suddenly encountering a tiger. With your heart racing and adrenaline rushing through your body, a normal survival response would be to run away, attempt to defend yourself by fighting off the tiger, or freeze, maybe playing dead.

This fight, flight or freeze response is a survival mechanism operating within the sympathetic nervous system. It is like stepping on a gas pedal of a car to escape a dangerous or frightening situation. The cerebral cortex, the cognitive and reasoning part of your brain, goes off-line when trauma occurs.

Then the limbic system releases chemicals triggering shock, confusion, and panic. This overwhelming experience is like throwing a lot of papers into the air on a windy day, and then struggling to collect them.

Common responses from trauma include intrusive flashbacks, nightmares, difficulty concentrating or sleeping, disconnecting from reality, becoming over-reactive, or panic attacks. It is important to note that depression, anxiety, and stress also mimic some symptoms of PTSD, however trauma from PTSD affects the body in more intense ways.

Since we cannot think our way out of trauma, we can use techniques that will help our brain go back online. The

parasympathetic nervous system functions like brakes on a car helping our body slow down and regain control.

• An effective way to calm the nervous system is to breathe deeply and slowly 5-6 times.

• You may count things in a room like all the brown books on a shelf or the leaves on a plant.

• “Creature comforts” including a warm drink, a snack, or a soft blanket help a person become grounded and safe in the present moment.

Another powerful way to stabilize is to imagine making a trip to a real or imagined safe place; a warm sandy beach, grassy meadow or even your bedroom. Close your eyes and take a few minutes to imagine a happy, peaceful place. Notice details about this place like the temperature, colors and sounds in your surroundings. You may notice someone is there with you, like a close family member, Jesus, or maybe an angel. Are they saying or doing anything? Continue observing all these details as though you are in a movie. Then open your eyes and recall what you just experienced including your strongest feelings.

Often people notice they have a sense of deep peace,

19

happiness, and security. As your brain comes back online, your body relaxes, and you can think more clearly. Accessing a safe place can be a useful coping skill, releasing stress when you are anxious or fearful, like before taking a difficult test or going to the dentist.

Recovering from trauma often requires professional help from a trained therapist as well as support from family, youth leaders, and friends. Their job is not to “fix” the problem or person by giving advice, minimizing the trauma, making false promises, judging, or enabling the person. The best ways they can be helpful are to listen, be patient, and encouraging. Their love, support and prayers can be like a healing salve on a deep wound.

Trauma is not something we just “get over.” It often takes months or even years to heal, especially if these events happened repeatedly over a sustained period when we were young. If a primary caregiver was responsible for our abuse, this often impairs our ability to develop healthy, trusting relationships. When our life experiences haven’t taught us that we can trust people who should have been there for us, it is also very difficult to trust God. There are many Scripture promises in God’s word. As we meditate on and even personalize these, it helps us to embrace the fact that God is worthy of our trust.

God also gives us a helper, who is the Holy Spirit, to comfort and guide us through life’s difficulties. Gradually, we come to know through experience that we are dearly loved by our Creator God and that He has restorative plans for our lives.

20

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Testing God in little things gradually helps build our faith, so we can learn to trust Him in bigger things.

Choosing to be grateful every day helps us become aware of all the ways that God is taking care of us. This doesn’t mean of course, that nothing bad is ever going to happen in life.

However, developing a thankful attitude releases powerful endorphins (positive brain chemicals).

Gradually, we learn that God is dependable and will never leave or reject us. His presence and unfailing love become our reality, giving us assurance, hope, and courage to face and overcome our “giants”. The very thing that Satan would have liked to use to destroy us is also the very thing that will create a path of opportunity to overcome adversity and even thrive, so we can make a difference in the world.

Scriptures to meditate on: Personalize these, inserting your name.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

PROVERBS 3:5-6 NLT

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. ‘See, all your angry enemies lie there, confused and humiliated. Anyone who opposes you will die and come to nothing.”

ISAIAH 41:10-11 NLT

STANDING STRONG AGAINST SEXUAL HARASSMENT

By Melody Stone

“When we don’t understand what inappropriate sexual behavior is or when we lack the words to describe what we have endured, we become the voiceless. We live in a society focused on sex, and the images we see in media often discredit and objectify women, creating a false standard that is based on judgements and lies. Throughout history, in every culture, women have experienced challenges relating to objectification and inequality. Being objectified means to be treated like an object that can be consumed like a product and used for someone’s gain or pleasure. For this to occur, others embrace false beliefs that devalue another human being.

In the Bible, Jesus called out a double standard when a group of men wanted to stone a woman to death who was caught in adultery, however in that society the man involved was not held accountable for his sin. The Pharisees enforced man-made biased religious rules that were based on power and control, gender bias, arrogance, and pride. Within any culture customs, gender roles and deeply held beliefs significantly impact how people are valued and treated. Being able to identify inappropriate and abusive behaviors, and also establish healthy boundaries, empowers women to validate their needs and rights and be able to clearly understand and express these.”

UNDERSTAND THESE TERMS: SEXUAL HARASSMENT: “When another person harasses you repeatedly with sexual comments, content or actions.

For example, it may include verbal comments about your body, requests for sexual favors, sexual jokes, or visual flashing, mooning, facial expressions, or electronic sharing (sharing sex-related pictures, videos, posting rumors on social media, requesting naked or inappropriate selfies.) It can also include unwanted physical contact.”

COERCION: “When someone threatens, tricks, manipulates or forces you to do something you don’t want to do.”

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS EXPERIENCING SEXUAL HARASSMENT 1. Know that it is not your fault!

2. Your voice matters. Don’t keep a secret because of fear of

being judged or threats from others. There are people who can help you if you reach out.”

With permission, the above excerpt is from Focus on the Family, Brio Magazine Article: June/July 2018, “Let’s Protect Our Bodies and Our Boundaries,” “It’s Time to Take a Stand Against Sexual Harassment, Assault and Abuse.” (pp 26-29)

If you are involved in an uncomfortable or abusive situation you might say something like, “You are being really inappropriate and rude right now and I won’t be treated disrespectfully. Stop this right now!”

Look directly at the person and speak in a calm tone of voice. You want to set firm boundaries in a “matter of fact” way.

Removing yourself from the person and situation also sends a clear message that you respect yourself and won’t be mistreated.

It is important to remember that we often teach people how to treat us by our words and our actions.

3. You matter. Take the next step. Talk with an adult that you know and trust, such as a Parent, Teacher, Youth Pastor, Counselor, Principal, or Medical Professional.

4. It can be stopped. Your life is not defined by what has been done to you or by the choices you have made. When you share with a person you trust, this can be the first step to freedom and healing!

As females, we should be courageous and strong, being willing to stand for righteousness and justice. When we know how to establish and maintain healthy boundaries, it is a sign to others that we value and love ourselves.

Sometimes loving and valuing ourselves can be the most difficult thing to do because of our own negative feelings, guilt, shame, what we have been told, and/or how others view us. Our life experiences, society’s views, our own beliefs and past or present choices also impact our perceived value. Sometimes loving and respecting ourselves involves changing our behaviors or choosing to change our faulty beliefs. This could involve walking away from an unhealthy situation, “calling out” or “calling in” other’s behaviors, or breaking up with an abusive, controlling partner. Taking these steps requires courage and strength. Knowing that God is supporting us and walking through those decisions with us makes it a whole lot easier!

Melody Stone M.A.Ed., Counseling, LMHC Certified Trauma trained therapist | Ambassador and professional trainer with Shared Hope International | Founder, “Hawai’i Island Safe Net,” A Christian volunteer network providing support and services for at-risk youth and survivors of human trafficking | Founder, Hawai’i Island Coalition Against Human Trafficking.

21

M IND F UL LET T ERING Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

S PA C E TO P RAC T IC E, D RAW, OR JOURNAL :

23

HEALING SHAME

A creative narrative written by Abigail Arakawa based on Tamar found in 2 Samuel 13:1-20.

Like nagging pain or a fever that never subsides, shame torments, distracts, steals joy and diverts us from our God-given destiny and purpose. We may be able to survive but we won’t thrive with the affliction of shame.

In this section, open your heart to encounter The One who heals the brokenhearted with grace that releases you to walk in freedom.

SHAME

When I think back to that moment, my skin still crawls, and the memory gnaws painfully at my soul recalling the details.

The sights, the sounds, the all-consuming fear. My arms printed raw with mahogany bruises, marks from where he held me down.

My throat tight from sobbing, my heart burning with hatred and despair, my mind wracked with unrelenting fear. The bed sheets soaked with that awful scarlet red, evidence of my stolen innocence, and a reminder of his violent profession of love.

Love? How could that be love? Sick, twisted. He claimed to love me, yet after he raped me, he hated me. Left me feeling worthless. Left me believing that it was my fault. Left me alone, but even worse, he left me feeling abandoned. Abandonment birthed within me this unexplainable shame, leaving me to be tortured by these thoughts of “What if I had…” or “If only I hadn’t…” I was marked as worthless. I was known to many after this violation as the ‘desolate woman.’

As I reflect on those lonely days I spent, God was my only source of strength and hope to press through each moment. He was my source of promise that someday I would behold Him face to face, that someday He would restore my soul and make me whole.

Some people allow their pain to define them, trapping them in a world of bitterness, isolating them from freedom, joy and love—the ability to love and to be loved. I am too familiar with such feelings.

Though I lived in shame for the rest of my earthly life, you do not have to! You, Beloved, are so blessed to live in a time in history where streams of healing flow from heaven through God breathed ministries that have received keys to healing the heart.

My culture and time did not provide such pathways. The Holy Spirit has been given to comfort, heal, and transform your life!

My heart bursts with excitement as I shout out to you, “Pursue your healing! Become a Brave-Heart and journey wherever God would take you. He is able to restore. God’s love contends for your breakthrough. You are marked by His love!”

His love never fails…

STEPPING STONES: THE HEALING PROCESS

By Vicky Wong

Here are some helpful steps that open the door to God’s healing. They will encourage you if you have been sexually abused. If you have not been abused, knowing these steps will help you be a source of wisdom and encouragement for someone who has been abused.

God can restore and rebuild, and He so passionately desires to do so!

TIME DOESN’T HEAL ALL WOUNDS

Recovering from sexual abuse is a process that is different for each person. If you have experienced trauma, you need time to process deep wounds, whether you were touched once or touched repeatedly. Memories and emotions can stay frozen in time.

They are healed as you become ready to work through them. Those feelings and details can be still as vivid, scary and disturbing today as they were when the abuse first happened. There’s no timetable for healing. For some, it may take months or longer to walk through suppressed and distressful memories, and come to a place of self-discovery, identity and truth.

24

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

START THE PROCESS WITH GOD

The one person who understands you with compassion and without condemnation, criticism, or negativity is your Heavenly Father who loves you. As you pray, start talking to God about what happened, and tell Him about the hurts that may have held you bound and torn. Ask God for courage and strength to walk through this process. Ask Him to bring safe people to orchestrate your steps of healing.

HEALING HAPPENS IN RELATIONSHIPS

It is hard to heal yourself in isolation, because healing happens with the support of people, in healthy relationships. Building a support system and being willing to connect with others on a deeper level is crucial. It is not an easy or simple process to find safe people you can trust who exhibit understanding, empathy, and genuine love. Supportive relationships are vital to recovering. Having fun activities and connecting with people is the start towards healing.

FINDING SAFETY AND SUPPORT

Everyone needs a place of safety. A safe place is where positive words and prayers of hope can happen. It is a place free from negativity, judgment, condemnation, and insensitive questions and advice. A safe person is someone who can guide you to share openly by listening attentively with encouragement and offering prayers of hope. They support you as you are ready to talk openly, and allow you to stop when you’re ready to stop.

THE JOURNEY BEGINS… 1. It starts with connecting with one person who is

supportive, empathetic, and calm in listening. A safe person could be an adult family member, close friend, teacher, counselor, community worker, church youth leader or pastor who is available to spend time with you on a regular basis and can support you through the pain of abuse. Please understand some adults in their positions may be mandated to report to keep you safe from further abuse. I went to a Christian Counselor where I started cautiously speaking for the first time with someone who could help me work through my thoughts and feelings from the past. We met weekly, and sometimes twice per week. Once I found my courage and confidence, I started sharing my story with more people.

2. Healing Prayer Ministries and Group Support: Some

counseling offices, churches, schools, community centers and hospitals offer reputable inner healing ministries or prayer and support groups established especially for abuse and trauma recovery. You may find people in those places who are willing to walk alongside your journey of healing and selfdisclosure. Hearing other people’s stories who have similar experiences will help you feel connected and loved with people who understand.

HE RESTORES AND RENEWS. VICKY’S STORY

By Vicky Wong

I grew up in Vancouver, Canada, in a very traditional Chinese family with five siblings. I have three older brothers, and I was the fourth child. Boys are given a greater status and hierarchy in my family, so my brothers were considered more important than me. I was taught as a little girl that my job was to serve my brothers.

I was always very afraid of my oldest brother. He was violent, mean, and engaged in ‘dark’ activities. The first abusive incident happened between us when I was around 9 or 10 years old. He came very close to me and started grabbing my body’s private areas on top of my clothes. I felt startled, deeply offended, scared, shocked and ran out of the room. Unfortunately, what I hoped was an isolated incident continued with each time being more violent and with greater physical force in holding me down. Being paranoid was a new normal as I stayed hypervigilant knowing he could be in hiding and suddenly pounce on me at any time.

My brother was all about power and control. Fear caused me to be immobile and unable to fight back. I felt

like a rag doll being trampled on - helpless, defenseless, powerless, voiceless, filthy and always feeling dirty. I had my dad’s favor and my brother hated me for that, which justified doing bad things to me with no remorse.

I was broken on so many levels. My healing process took courage and determination to get restored. In my healing, I realized it wasn’t my fault. There is comfort, hope, forgiveness, joy, and God’s strength being renewed in me now. What my brother meant for harm, God has a greater purpose for the restoring of many lives.

I still hold onto these following verses of hope: “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.

“They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord.

“I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”

JEREMIAH 29:11-14 NLT

25

MY STORY: TEARS OF SORROW TO JOY

By Karla Takazono

What do you remember when you were seven years old? Was it learning to ride a bike or learning to read? It was different for me. I was raised in a Christian home. My father was a pastor.

Whenever my parents would go on ministry trips, they would have me stay at friends’ homes.

One night, while my parents were away on one of their trips, my friend’s older sister came into the room when I was alone.

She locked the door. Silence filled the room as she began to tell me what she would ‘do to me sexually’ and what ‘I would do to her sexually.’ I was so confused! Fear gripped me as I tried to process what she was saying. I did what she told me to do. This trauma caused my whole world to change. Shame entered my heart. I began to hide and clothe myself in shame.

It wasn’t long before I ran into another situation that reinforced my shame as a teenager. One Friday night, I decided to hang out with a boy that I had started talking to on social media. “I can’t believe he wants to hang out with me,” I thought with excitement. Although something deep down inside told me to run, I stubbornly went.

As he reached out to grab my hand, he led me down the beach from the party we were at. He began to kiss me and tell me that I was beautiful. My heart started to race. Suddenly, he began tearing off my clothes. Everything happened so fast. “Is he doing what I think he’s doing?” I thought as he pushed me down. Forcing himself upon me, I screamed, “No! Please stop!”

But he wouldn’t! It was so painful and confusing. I was raped

that night. Shame overwhelmed me, and thoughts tormented me, “Was this my fault? Did I deserve this? Is God as disgusted with me as I am with myself? I am such a wreck!” I felt so alone and powerless.

It wasn’t until I finally decided to pursue God’s healing, that I encountered God’s reckless love that captured my heart.

As I ran into the arms of Jesus, He showed me a picture of my wounded heart covered with band-aids. It had become infected because I didn’t know how to clean it correctly. His perfect love cast out my fears and restored my heart.

Jesus wants your mess—no matter how small or huge you believe your mess is. Shame can enter your life from a variety of ways. We all can struggle with varying levels of shame from not performing perfectly, from our failures or wrong choices, or from hurtful things said or done to us. He longs to heal us of our broken ways of coping.

In Him there is joy, freedom, and pure love for you! There is forgiveness for yourself and others! You have a voice that deserves to be heard. Beloved, do not push His love away, as I did for many years, but open your heart today to receive His unending grace and love for you.

PRAYER

“He showed me a picture of my wounded heart covered with band-aids. It had become infected because I didn’t know how to clean it correctly. His perfect love cast out my fears and restored my heart.”

26

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“Dear Father, thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for your relentless love that fights for me. Give me the grace to allow you into the deepest parts of my heart. Give me your eyes to see how you see. I ask that your perfect love fill me. I give you permission to rip the band-aids of shame off my heart!

I trust that you will complete the beautiful, brilliant work that you started in me. I love you!”

BE A SAFE PLACE

HOW TO SUPPORT A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER WHO HAS BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED

By Chris Yanuaria

HOW TO HELP A SURVIVOR OF SEX ASSAULT

Sex assault can have traumatic long-term effects on an individual. If you have never experienced sexual assault yourself, you may not be able to fully understand what a survivor is going through. You may find it difficult to know what to say or how best to offer support. You cannot take away someone’s traumatic experience but you can play a crucial role in their healing process. If your family or friend shares with you they have been sexually assaulted, here are some tips:

LISTEN

It takes a tremendous amount of courage for a survivor to share their story. It's important to provide a supportive, nonjudgmental environment where they can be heard. If someone has not shared their story with you yet, let them know you are available whenever they are ready to talk. Don’t pressure the person to tell their story or try to change the subject to something lighter. Just listen. If someone opens up to you, they trust you and need someone to talk to. Try using statements like:

fix the situation or give too much advice. Instead, if they choose to seek out medical attention or report it to the police, offer to go with them. You can share suggestions like speaking with a sex assault advocate or a counselor, but let the person make the final decision. Try saying: • “I care about you. Know that I’m here to support you in any way I can.”

• “You are not alone in this. How can I help?”

• “Thank you for sharing your story with me.”

• “It took a lot of courage to tell me about this.”

• “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

BELIEVE AND REASSURE

Sex assault survivors worry no one will believe them-- or worse, fear they will be blamed. Avoid questions that sound like you don’t believe their story. Oftentimes survivors will blame themselves for what happened. Reassure them that they have nothing to be ashamed of.

Sexual assault is always the perpetrator's fault and NEVER the survivor's fault. You can say: • “I believe you.”

• “This is not your fault.”

• “You didn’t do anything to deserve this.”

LET THEM TAKE THE LEAD

It’s normal to want to take charge when someone you care about is hurting; however, with sex assault victims you might want to think again. Sex assault strips away a person’s sense of power and control. Allow your loved one to make their own decisions on the next steps to regain their power. Don’t try to

EDUCATE YOURSELF AND OFFER RESOURCES Learn more about the issue and the struggles survivors go through.

Research national and local agencies and share that information with your friend or family member.

If a loved one is in immediate danger or has a serious physical injury as a result of a sexual assault, call 9-1-1, and seek medical attention.

You can make a big difference by being loving, compassionate, and empathetic!

Chris Yanuaria received his Master’s in social work at the Myron V. Thompson School of Social Work at the University of Hawaii at Manoa. Chris facilitated violence prevention workshops and trainings to students, faculty, and staff at the University of Hawaii at Manoa for many years. He also invested much time in helping to eliminate the issue of human trafficking locally, nationally, and abroad.

27

FREEDOM

By Louisa Wendorff

Even after singing at the Grammy Awards… or receiving support and affirmation by mega star Taylor Swift… looking put together on the

outside and experiencing moments of fame as a singer/song-writer…the world did not have a clue about my inner world at the time. Yet, God was at work wooing me closer to His Heart.

Hear my journey.

Feeling higher, lower, smaller, bigger; fighting longer and longer the struggle never ended.

Surrounded by nothing but competition, expectation, comparison and pressure.

Pressure to succeed in everyone else’s eyes, in every area of my life.

I broke under the pressure again and again, with only moments of temporary relief.

I couldn’t get out from under the control and mental torment of never being enough.

I believed I needed to meet this expectation to be worth something.

I did it! I looked perfect from head to toe with a smile that convinced everyone including myself I was okay.

But the reality was, I was desperate.

Desperate for love, for identity, starving myself most days, covering up the pain of mental, emotional, and sexual abuse, all to maintain this false perception of perfection.

I was alone, bound to this sin-cycle, addiction of people-pleasing and self-hatred, keeping me stuck in shame.

It was hollow, dark, empty, oppressive.

But fear locked me in so tight that I almost didn’t want to get out, not fully at least.

I wanted to maintain control to some point.

The fact was, I didn’t trust God, I didn’t trust His love for me, His plan, the power of the blood of Jesus.

I thought I “believed” it my whole life, but my heart and my life were proving my unbelief.

I didn’t even know I didn’t trust Him! Not until I encountered the tangible, powerful, healing Love of the Father.

It beckoned me in my brokenness.

He asked me to trade my trash for his treasure.

My fear, control, constant anxiety, sickness; For His peace, His love, His healing, His mercy.

An uneven trade paid for long, long ago, to give us LIFE and FREEDOM when we didn’t deserve it.

Choose His love and power to be Lord over your life; in every area.

Trust Him by fully letting go and allowing Him to be God. Turn away and disconnect yourself from every lie that you’ve agreed with whether you or someone else has spoken it over your life.

Refuse to believe anything but the Truth!

You are loved.

Freedom has been purchased for you!

Jesus has already won this war!

LISTEN TO MY TESTIMONY:

I PRAYED TO THE LORD, AND HE ANSWERED ME. HE FREED ME FROM ALL MY FEARS. THOSE WHO LOOK TO HIM FOR HELP WILL BE RADIANT WITH JOY; NO SHADOW OF SHAME WILL DARKEN THEIR FACES. PSALM 34:4-5 NLT

28

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

29

M IND F UL LET T ERING

Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

S PA C E TO P RAC T IC E, D RAW, OR JOURNAL :

31

Pornography Sexual Abuse & Trauma Sex Trafficking

Connecting the Dots…

32

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“Every two minutes, a child is trafficked for the purpose of sexual exploitation in the United States.” - U.S. Dept. of Justice

“Any one of us could fall

victim to sex trafficking.”

Sex Trafficking

- FBI Agent

33

WHAT IS SEX TRAFFICKING?

By Shantae Williams, Psy.D.

Sex trafficking, often referred to as modern day slavery or prostitution, is when a person uses force (i.e. beating, kidnapping, etc.), fraud (i.e. posing as a photographer for a modeling agency, etc.), or coercion (i.e. becoming someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend in order to take advantage of them, etc.) to trick someone into engaging in a sexual act in exchange for something of value to that person. For minors (people under the age of 18), sex trafficking is when a sexual act (e.g. sex, stripping, pornography, etc.) is exchanged for something of value (money, drugs, protection, etc.) to that person or a third party; force, fraud, or coercion does not need to be present for minors to be considered a victim of sex trafficking.

Most people think sex trafficking is what we see in the movies; a person is kidnapped and taken to another country where they’re drugged, raped and repeatedly sold for sex. Although this does happen, it is very rare; more often a person is “recruited” or tricked into sex trafficking by someone they trust. The majority of sexually trafficked children in the United States are lured into trafficking by a friend who is also being trafficked, their parents (this is called familial trafficking), or a trafficker (pimp).

To truly understand how sex trafficking works, and why a minor is considered a victim of sex trafficking even if they say they want to do it, you need to understand risk factors and recruitment tactics of traffickers. Risk factors, are things that are occurring in a person’s life that makes them vulnerable to being sex trafficked. Risk factors of sex trafficking include but are not limited to: being a minor, being female, being lgbtq+, having a history of sexual molestation, having an absent parent, being bullied, having low self-esteem, having mental health issues (depression, anxiety, etc.), having family problems (fighting a lot with your parents, parental divorce, etc.), having access to social media, having an older significant other, wanting to be loved, and the list goes on.

Basically, anything that makes you need someone you can trust and depend on in your life, or makes you feel bad about yourself, can make you vulnerable to sex trafficking.

34

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Sex traffickers are trained to look for people who have experienced these risk factors. Their main goal is to be seen as a trusted person, so they can eventually exploit this trust to manipulate a person into doing things they would normally never do. Some traffickers admit to targeting teens who have stricter or religious parents, because they know they will likely not report the incident to their parent.

Most victims report that they would have never imagined becoming a victim of sex trafficking. This is not something people think of doing on their own; someone sees the risk factors and targets them. Most targeting occurs over social media where it’s easy for a person to learn who you are; your likes and dislikes; where you live; where you hang out; who you hang out with; anything they need to know to gain your trust. They then find a way to connect with you. Before you know it, you’re in an intense

relationship you either feel you cannot live without, or are fearful to leave due to physical abuse or blackmail.

Many victims feel stuck in sex trafficking because they fear their family and friends finding out, and rejecting or judging them. In most cases this is not true. The best way to avoid or get out of being trafficked is to tell your parents, a trusted adult, or a friend you know. There is also outside support and resources available if you don’t have anyone in your life you can trust. These resources can connect you to people who will help you through the struggles you may be experiencing.

The best defense to avoid being trafficked is to make sure you’re not being lured or tricked. Remember, if it feels too good to be true, it usually is! Your body has a way of telling you when something is wrong; it’s called your gut instinct. When your gut tells you something is wrong,

listen to your body; it can save your life. Avoiding getting involved in sex trafficking will save you a lifetime of severe mental health issues. Find resources to help you with any risk factors you struggle with in order to ensure you’re not vulnerable to exploitation.

If you or someone you know is or was involved in sex trafficking, and needs help, know you are not alone and there is help and light at the end of the tunnel!

Call the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1 (888) 373-7888 or text “HELP” or “INFO” to BEFREE (233733) they will connect you with help. You can remain anonymous.

REMEMBER, HELP IS A PHONE CALL AWAY!

Knowledge is powerful if it changes your life for the better.

PROTECT YOURSELF! WAYS RECRUITERS GROOM TEENAGERS WHO COULD BE A RECRUITER?

• Recruiters could be strangers or friends you meet at school, afterschool programs, and other public places.

• A recruiter could be a male or female trying to gain your trust.

• Be especially cautious of older teens or adults who try to get you to go with them someplace.

• Know that a recruiter can ‘groom’ a victim over varied time. Some victims are lured within hours or days, while others are lured over many months by a good friend or boyfriend.

STRANGERS: Recruiters can be strangers who are good-looking, charming, friendly, seemingly sincere, smooth talking, people who know how to connect heart to heart with you. These recruiters can approach you at malls, beaches, restaurants—anywhere.

They could also falsely pose as modeling scouts, trying to get you to meet up with them to get you into ‘modeling.’

CLASSMATES: Recruiters could also be a classmate or an upper or lower classman at your school. They gain your trust as a friend, so you would never think they had a plan to coerce you.

BOYFRIEND: Unfortunately, your new boyfriend or boyfriend of several months who has been a great guy to you could be playing the role to gain your trust so he can later recruit/trap you into sex trafficking.

NEW FRIENDS: Sometimes recruiters are new friends you’ve made—he or she could be a new friend that your classmate introduced you to and you have all hung out together so you consider him or her a trustworthy friend.

FAMILY MEMBERS: In some cases, sadly, recruiters can be family members or relatives.

35

WHAT KINDS OF TACTICS DO RECRUITERS USE TO GROOM VICTIMS? • Recruiters exhibit charming behavior. They say words and act in ways that can seem too good to be true.

• Recruiters’ words initially make you feel very special and cause you to believe they are there to support you.

RECRUITERS MAY SAY SOMETHING SIMILAR TO THE FOLLOWING LINES TO BUILD TRUST AND FRIENDSHIP TO MANIPULATE YOU: “Tell me everything about you.

I want to know everything!”

These types of statements try to get you to share deep, dark secrets with them so they can use this information to manipulate and blackmail you in the future. Refrain from disclosing details about yourself and your past with someone you do not know well. Be careful not to reveal too much about yourself too quickly.

“THOSE WHO CONTROL THEIR TONGUE WILL HAVE A LONG LIFE; OPENING YOUR MOUTH CAN RUIN EVERYTHING.” PROVERBS 13:3 NLT

“I have never met anyone like you. I feel I can trust you with anything. I have told you things I have never told anyone else.”

This is a tactic to try to make the victim feel responsible for the mental health and well-being of the trafficker. When the victim tries to leave, the guilt of leaving someone who trusted them with everything prevents them from leaving.

Beware when someone starts to use guilt to manipulate you.

“You are so beautiful!

I love you!”

Traffickers often target a person who is overlooked, especially someone wanting love, attention, and affirmation as a result of their family and peer experiences.

For example, if two girls are walking down the street, and one of the girls is obviously more physically attractive than the other, the trafficker will approach the less attractive friend, the one who receives less attention from others, and will disregard the more attractive person. If the more attractive friend later tries to intervene when she sees her friend being mistreated or lured into danger, the trafficker probably would accuse the friend of being jealous because she is used to getting more attention due to her looks. Afraid to lose the one person who views her as beautiful, a girl might not heed her friend’s warnings and, as a result, become isolated, vulnerable to being exploited.

We all desire affirmation, attention, love, and encouragement. However, though you may appreciate positive words, be cautious around a person who showers you with compliments—you do not know if their motives are for good or to control you.

“You are too hot to be wearing those shoes!

You need to get with me so I can upgrade you!”

A comment like this makes victims feel good, and then immediately the trafficker belittles them, making them feel vulnerable. Traffickers and recruiters utilize this tactic to capture a victim’s attention with flattery, but also embarrass them by pointing out their low-quality clothes or accessory.

The recruiter gives the victim an opportunity to elevate their status through promises of ‘upgrading,’ buying them new shoes, clothes, designer bags, or other items they want or need. This also increases the victim’s sense of obligation to the recruiter.

The person may attempt to establish a sexual relationship with you in return for the gifts and to further bond you to him or her.

Avoid a person who desires to ‘upgrade you.’ You are already valuable in Christ! Many of us like nice material things, but this is often a tactic to trap, deceive, and trick you into being trafficked. Be brave. Decline the offer and walk away from the situation.

“You want to make some money? I can show you how you can make a lot of money!”

This lures in victims who come from impoverished backgrounds. Victims never make money; they may be given small amounts of money in the beginning to gain trust or earn some wages by being ‘bottoms’ or ‘recruiters,’ but they get nowhere near what their trafficker makes. Money given to victims is often taken back at later time.

Do not go for such fast money opportunities! Seek wisdom from wise trusted mentors in your life.

“WEALTH FROM GET-RICH-QUICK SCHEMES QUICKLY DISAPPEARS; WEALTH FROM HARD WORK GROWS OVER TIME.” PROVERBS 13:11 NLT

“You may as well make money for what someone is taking from you anyway.”

Because traffickers often target youth with a history of molestation and sex abuse, they often use this line, which seems to make sense to someone who is actively being victimized at home.

You are deserving of respect and honor. Though this line may seem to make sense to you if you have already been sexually active or abused, seek help from trusted mentors. Beware of falling into this trap and do not sell yourself short!

“...THEY FLATTER WITH THEIR LIPS BUT HARBOR DECEPTION IN THEIR HEARTS.” PSALM 12:2 NIV

36

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

WHAT OTHER SIGNS SHOULD I LOOK FOR TO KNOW IF I AM BEING GROOMED? TRAFFICKERS TRY TO ISOLATE YOU FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY: A person who often uses shame and control to keep you away from friends and family is a red flag!

TRAFFICKERS TRY TO KEEP YOU DEPENDENT ON HIM/HER: A recruiter tries to get you to think he/she is the only one who will take care of you to get you to depend on them. This person may attempt to learn your biggest wants and needs so they can manipulate you slowly into becoming dependent on them as a close friend. They may make promises to you that they will fulfill your dreams.

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I SENSE SOMETHING ‘DOESN’T SEEM RIGHT’ OR SAFE?

CAN TRAFFICKERS BE AGGRESSIVE TOWARDS POTENTIAL VICTIMS?

• Pay attention to your ‘sensing’ or ‘feeling’ - if you feel something's not ‘quite right’ or is making you feel uncomfortable, fearful, or ‘strange’, pay attention to those ‘red flags’. If you get caught in a conversation with someone suspicious, be strong and assertive by excusing yourself and leaving swiftly as soon as possible! Contact a trusted friend or relative who can help you or come pick you up.

Be vigilant and aware of your surroundings especially when you are walking alone in an area with few people or no one around. Take notice if someone is following you, or a car or van is following you.

• If someone is bothering and/or following you in public by constantly trying to talk with you, get another adult involved. For example, if you are at a mall, go to a store employee or store manager and say something like, “This person keeps following me. Please help me.”

• Be aware of abusive or possessive behaviors in people and notice their reaction when you say no to something they want you to do. If they don’t respect your decision, if their response is controlling, rageful, intimidating, manipulative, or just too charming, seek help and safety.

• Kidnapping: Be aware of your surroundings when walking (or jogging) alone on sidewalks and in parking lots. Although rare, there have been cases where traffickers have tried to force someone into their vehicle.

• Drugging your drink: Be aware of your drink when out with friends.

There have been situations where a trafficker has put drugs, sometimes called “date rape drugs” in the drink of victims so they can be taken. Do not accept a drink from someone else and keep an eye on your drink when you are in a group you don’t know well. Be wise and be aware.

37

10 TIPS! 1.

Tell a family member where you will be going and when you will return and keep in contact with them when you are out and about with someone you do not know well.

2.

Set up a safety word with your family, so if you say that word, your family member knows you feel you are in danger.

3.

Memorize at least one trusted friend’s family member’s phone number.

4. BEFORE making any decisions, check with a trusted family member or a wise mentor when offers almost seem too good to be true.

5.

Consider allowing 2-3 people to track your phone via GPS so they know your whereabouts at all times. Some phones allow this. You could allow them to track you varying amounts of times, such as just for an hour, a day or all the time. This type of tracking can be completely under your control.

6. Never get into a car with a stranger and avoid being alone in an isolated place with strangers.

7.

Don’t hesitate to call 911 when you feel you are danger.

8. When going on a date, especially the first few dates with someone you do not know well, plan to meet up in a public place until you feel comfortable and feel you know them. Even better, suggest an outing with a group.

9. If a new friend or stranger offers to buy you expensive gifts, refrain from receiving such gifts, as this could be a tactic to control you later.

10. Traffickers prey on youth who run away from home. If you are having trouble at home and are tempted to run away—there are other options. Running away will put you at risk of being lured into dangerous situations.

Seek help from your pastor, school counselor, a trusted mentor or relative.

38

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

YES, IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!

By Dean Kaneshiro

You could be in danger of falling into the trap of an online predator.

And the quickest way to fall into it is believing this lie: that would never happen to me.

In fact, it’s happening to young women and girls just like you all over the world. And for many of them, it ends in deep depression, drugs, or even suicide.

So I’m thrilled you’re reading this right now!

Because the good news is that you can avoid being a victim to an online predator if you get educated on how they work and make wise choices online that will keep you safe and healthy.

BECOMING A VICTIM IS PRETTY SIMPLE…JUST ASK SERENA

When Serena was in eighth grade, she had a crush on a boy (1).

He asked for a naked video of herself.

In a moment of high emotion, she sent one to him.

And that’s when her life changed forever.

He asked for more—and flattered by his attention—she sent him more.

Kids at school began to look at her strange and she soon realized he had shared the videos with his friends…and someone even posted it on Pornhub!

Students began to text her and ask her for naked videos, otherwise they would show the ones they already had to her mom.

This began a downward spiral in Serena’s life. She began to skip class, fight with her mother, cut herself, and she even took so many medications she ended up almost killing herself. She eventually left home at 16, became homeless, tried

to hang herself, and then started to sell nude images and videos of herself online to make money after getting deep into drugs and opioids.

Listen to how she described how she viewed herself: “I’m not worth anything anymore because everybody has already seen my body.”

At 19 years old, Serena was free from drugs and living in her car in California, but still dealing with the trauma and working through the pain. “I was dumb,” she says. “It was one small thing that a teenager does, and it’s crazy how it turns into something so much bigger.”

And let what she says next sink in: “A whole life can be changed because of one little mistake.”

HOW YOU’RE BEING SEXUALLY GROOMED RIGHT NOW…AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW IT

Even before that first video of Serena ended up on Pornhub (which was viewed over 400,000 times), she was being groomed by porn.

More specifically, by a pornified culture.

So how does our pornified culture work hand-in-hand with predators to trap young women into their destructive ways?

There is a horrifying story about

an imprisoned pedophile, a man who sexually abused his stepdaughter when she was in elementary school. When asked how he prepared her for his abuse, he shrugged and said, “I didn’t have to do much grooming at all. The culture did it for me.”

Did you catch that?

The culture did it for me.

Let that sink in.

So what does that mean?

It means that as pornography becomes normal for young women your age—in fact, it becomes sex education— then the violent and awful ways women are treated in porn is something girls think is normal and expected of them.

And it prepares them to be sexually taken advantage of.

When every music video, live performance at the Super Bowl, magazine cover, Insta post, and TikTok dance a girl watches makes her believe her value is connected to how much attention she gets from men in a sexual way, she is being groomed for abuse.

This makes young women—just like you—more susceptible to the traps of online sexual predators.

39

HOW THIS WORKS

Here’s what you can do—starting TODAY—to break out of pornified culture and empower yourself so you don’t become a statistic.

Get educated about the ways online predators groom young women over social media.

Let me break down how online predators hook you in and ruin your life.

You’ll recognize some of these tactics from Serena’s story.

First, these creepy 60 year-olds create fake online profiles, disguised as cute 17 or 19 year-old young men (and sometimes they are cute 17 or 19 year-old young men).

Then they shadow you, carefully watching what you post, monitoring your emotional state, and looking for clues to how you feel about yourself so they can take advantage of you when the time is right.

Let’s say you post about having a fight with your mom, or you post about how depressed you feel. This is when they strike. They DM you, flattering you or expressing how they totally understand how you feel. This is how they get their hooks in you.

Their eventual goal is for you to share a sext with them—a nude or semi-nude photo or video of yourself. Once they have this, then they’ve got you. PLEASE READ THIS PART SLOWLY: that sexted photo or video is the key because this is how they control you from that moment on.

They threaten to post the photo or send it to your parents if you don’t do whatever they ask of you next, which could be sending more sexts, explicit videos of yourself, interacting sexually with them over FaceTime or a live stream app…or even meeting up with them in person!

Now burn this next point in your brain forever, as it is the #1 practical key to staying free from the trap…

You ready?

NEVER TAKE SEXUALIZED PHOTOS OR VIDEOS OF YOURSELF. NEVER trust your boyfriend, friends, or guys you’ve never met before with photos or videos like this…ever.

And if you do make this mistake, tell your parents immediately…no matter

how scared you are. NEVER give in to the pressure from these predators by sending more photos or videos because of their threats. Your parents will help you navigate through it. LISTEN: go straight to your parents. No matter the consequences, it’s better than what will happen if you let these predators ruin your life.

So I hope you’re getting the point here: it is NEVER worth it to take sexualized photos or videos of yourself!

Reject pornified culture and be strong.

Stop your girlfriends from sexting.

Make sure your guy friends don’t joke about it or ask girls for them. No matter how cool they make it look in movies or in TV shows online, it isn’t. It will destroy your life.

Just ask Serena.

You can read Serena’s full story in the New York Times article, “The Children of Pornhub” by Nicolas Kristof, Dec. 1

MORE ONLINE TIPS TO PROTECT YOURSELF

By Sarah Siegand

We live in a super-connected world, one where you can form and deepen real friendships through digital communication and sharing experiences in online spaces (which is amazing). But the flip side of that super-connection is the tremendous vulnerability that comes with encountering others online who may not be what they seem.

In our line of work, we tell students and parents alike that it’s important to watch out for red flags when interacting with others, and that includes noticing when people online just seem too nice. This could be in the form of comments on a social media post like, “You seem very mature. And beautiful too!” It might come as a direct message (DM) from someone you don’t really know saying, “I heard you had a bad day.” Or even a message from a teacher you know who seems kind of like a friend.

As crazy as it sounds, someone who seems helpful, supportive, or kind might actually be out to hurt or exploit you online. All it takes is the opportunity to build

40

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

trust with you and one single solitary moment of vulnerability on your part. A common tactic is soliciting nude or sexy images from you, as the previous article explained. Social media, gaming platforms, YouTube, messaging apps—any form of digital connection can be used to groom a victim.

Kristy was an A+ student who played the piano at church and was an all-star softball player. But she started talking to a nice guy on Snapchat who she thought was a teenager with mutual friends in common. One night she snuck out of her home to meet up with him and realized he was actually much older, and he intended to harm her. He abducted her, drove her to another state, dyed her hair blue and sexually abused her on camera for days before the FBI was able to track her down and rescue her.

Online predation has exploded over the past few years. According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC), their Cyber Tipline received 10.2 million reports of online child exploitation in 2017, and by 2019, that number had grown to 16.9 million. They also report that the average age of an exploited victim online is 15. This shows us two things: that the stereotype of victims being naive children who are easily deceived is inaccurate, and that the sophistication of predators and traffickers is growing to be able to trick teens who often think of themselves as very internet-savvy.

HOW CAN YOU PROTECT YOURSELF FROM ONLINE PREDATORS AND SEX-TRAFFICKERS? DON’T SEND ANY NUDE PHOTOS TO ANYONE!

isolate you. These are all tactics of abuse and victimization.

HERE ARE SOME ADDITIONAL IMPORTANT RULES TO LIVE BY.

Set social media platforms on private and turn off location information.

Don’t accept or reply to message requests from strangers, and never message with teachers or coaches on social media platforms. Healthy adults will know this is inappropriate and will reach out for needed communication in ways that offer accountability, such as email or group threads where comments are visible by all. The best bet is to keep your social media and gaming connections to people you actually know as real-life friends.

Do NOT meet up with anyone you met online. Traffickers can easily pose as teenagers by using fake photos of themselves, leading you to believe they are someone you might trust more easily.

Meeting up with someone you don’t actually know in real life can put you in an extremely dangerous situation, where your physical safety is in jeopardy.

Do not give out personal information.

Do not share information like your phone number, address, school, or neighborhood information with anyone you meet online. This could put you and your family in danger. Remember, even a student at a rival school might be looking for anyone who can be manipulated into exploitation.

Be careful about using dating apps and messaging apps. The person who is building an online relationship with you could be a sex trafficker. Once a romantic relationship or friendship is established, they can take advantage of the emotional bond you feel, which can be used as a method to control, manipulate, and

Report any grooming or exploitive behavior you come across. Every young person needs to know how to block other users online and report inappropriate behavior in online platforms. In addition, making a report to Cybertipline.org is crucial, as they have access to worldwide databases of criminal activity and are actively looking to catch predators (social media sites have a poor track record of acting on reports made to their platforms, but it’s still important to try nonetheless).

Yes, our world can be scary at times, but there is still so much good to be found. Share these tips with a friend and commit to helping each other stay safe online. You don’t have to live in fear, and

walking with others who are aware of the dangers can strengthen your strategy to avoid exploitation and grooming.

Together, you and your friends can stay connected online without becoming vulnerable. *Note that not all online predators are sex traffickers. Some predators try to lure victims solely for themselves and are not associated with any sex trafficking rings. Nonetheless, sex traffickers use online platforms such as social media, YouTube, and gaming connections to groom victims.

Sarah Siegand is the co-founder of Parents Who Fight, an online safety organization that educates parents and students about dangers online and how to walk in wisdom and balance with digital communication. Learn more at parentswhofight.com.

41

42

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

YIKES! IT HAPPENED TO ME!

By Raiza Garcia

It was September 3rd, 2020, Labor Day, a day that I planned to relax with friends on the shore of Waikiki Beach in Hawaii. During the confusing COVID-19 pandemic season I was living in, the world continued to shift with shutdowns, restrictions, and school closures.

One thing that was certainly not slowing down, was the rise of sex-trafficking.

As a community activist, teacher, mother and most importantly, Daughter of the Most High God, this heinous crime had been one on my heart to fight against for years.

Little did I know that on this beautiful day in Hawaii, I would be scouted and pursued by what seemed to be a “recruiter” of some sorts.

As I sat on the shoreline with water splashing on my legs, there were very few people in the area. I was in conversation with my friend when I suddenly felt a close presence. I glanced to my right and there was a phone just a few inches away from my face! A long arm attached to a very handsome young man was holding it. I asked him what he needed, thinking to myself, “Why on earth is this phone in my face? And has this young man lost his ability to use words?”

“Put it in,” he whispered.

“Excuse me?” I replied. I

looked closely and saw the phone interface was opened to add a phone number.

“Put your phone number in,” he insisted. “You are the most beautiful woman on the beach! Where are you from?

Brazil? You have to give me your number so we can chill,” he chimed.

“I could be your mother.

You are wasting your time.”

I kept insisting sternly, yet politely.

“Age is just a number,” he continued.

“I am in a relationship and am not interested,” I spit back.

“Oh, but you have never been with a Hawaiian boy, I could show you a good time you would not forget,” he retorted.

He was relentless and smooth with one line after another as if trained to persist without exception.

After a few minutes of politely trying to shut this young man down, I asked the Holy Spirit’s assistance as I prayed silently. I didn’t want to cause a scene, but I needed this young man to leave me alone!

I said to him, “Look, I am not interested for many reasons, but most importantly because I believe in purity and follow Jesus Christ,” I countered.

All of a sudden, this fast-talking, player hustler transformed before my eyes!

He was caught off guard. God was moving.

“I uh, respect that,” he stammered. For the first time,

he stood bewildered at a loss for words.

He began sharing that he had grown up going to church but had not attended service in years. He even pulled out the crucifix he wore from under his shirt to show he did know Jesus. I could see this lost man was under this guise of a smooth-talking lady killer.

He shared maybe he was drawn to me because God was trying to tell him something.

Yes. I explained to him that God was watching over him and maybe he was caught up in some things he shouldn’t be involved in.

Divine appointments happen daily. It is a matter of us tapping into the Holy Spirit to guide us to open our eyes and ears to what He wants us to know, see and hear.

As he walked away, I glanced at my friend who is a professional in the fight against sex-trafficking. She said, “And that is how a scout works!”

I watched the young man walk straight into the fancy car he rode in. He was certainly not at the beach to hang-out and enjoy the day. Maybe he was the young scout sent out to use his good looks and charm to reach his quota of girls to recruit.

Was the driver of the car who watched him the whole time from afar, the trafficker selecting targets? Maybe it was a strange prank? Who knows? But what I do know is this young man arrived and left in a flash.

He targeted a woman who knows her identity in Christ and is also savvy to the ways recruiters of sex-trafficking work to seduce women, teenagers, girls and boys into the horrific, evil world of exploitation. Just because someone is complimenting my outside beauty—I owe them nothing. Not my name, phone number, social media handle. Nothing.

Since that encounter, I have reflected back to my youth. The teenage Raiza would have probably given this young man her phone number. I thought of how just one wrong decision, like giving a phone number to someone with evil intentions. could have destroyed my life.

These thoughts stirred something inside me, reigniting my passion to continue to be a light in this fight against exploitation of youth, empowering girls to know how precious and valuable they are, to understand what a healthy and honorable pursuit looks like by a male, and educating adults in the community about this issue.

My prayer for you is that you would know you are created in the image of God. You deserve honor and respect—not to be objectified or manipulated— but protected and celebrated as a brave and beautiful masterpiece!

43

WHAT KEEPS A VICTIM TRAPPED? Why don’t victims of sex trafficking just run away?

This may seem like the logical thing to do, but it is not easy and is probably an extremely dangerous choice. Victims experience emotional, physical, and psychological abuse, so running away is not as simple a solution as it seems.

ONCE TRAFFICKED, WHAT ARE COMMON THREATS MADE TO KEEP THE VICTIM TRAPPED? Traffickers use fear and control tactics to keep victims trapped and afraid to get help.

“I video-taped you having sex. If you tell anyone, I will show this video to your parents and all your friends and family. I will make it go viral in your school.

Such threats cause much fear due to overwhelming shame the victim feels.

“If you tell anyone, I will kill (or harm) your parents (or brothers/sisters/your family)!”

This causes great fear because the victim wants to protect their family’s lives. Traffickers may even show the victim a gun or weapon to intimidate them further. Traffickers may threaten to kill the victim herself as well.

WHAT ARE OTHER TACTICS THAT TRAFFICKERS USE TO KEEP VICTIMS TRAPPED? DRUGS & ALCOHOL: Traffickers will often drug victims. Traffickers can make victims addicted to drugs and/or alcohol and therefore, more easily control them.

VIOLENCE AND VERBAL ABUSE: Traffickers can use physical and verbal abuse, violence, and even torture, to keep victims controlled.

PORNOGRAPHY: Traffickers often make victims watch hard core porn

(which often includes violence towards women) to get them de-sensitized to all kinds of sexual acts and acts that can even cause physical pain. Watching porn helps to normalize what they see and experience.

EMOTIONAL BOND: Oftentimes, an emotional bond forms between the victim and abuser where the victim wants to stay in the relationship. Victims may believe their trafficker is the only person who loves them.

LEAD VICTIMS TO BELIEVE TRAFFICKING IS THIER ONLY OPTION: NOTE: In some situations, such as poverty, some girls willingly go into sex trafficking as a way of making a living and because they see no other options or job opportunities for themselves.

44

REQUIREMENT TO REPAY THEIR DEBT: Traffickers can intimidate their victims and require them to repay them BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

financially for giving them housing and food and other material things they purchased for the victim.

ISOLATION: Especially if the victim is taken to a foreign country where they do not speak the language, the victim can feel helpless and even more dependent on their trafficker.

Most victims want to leave the sex trafficking lifestyle but feel trapped and helpless. This is where community members like yourself can make a difference by reporting suspicious activity to your local police or the National Human Trafficking Hotline.

IS MY FRIEND BEING TRAFFICKED? SOME POSSIBLE SIGNS

Listen. The silent cry. Do you hear it?

Because sex trafficking has become more and more common on school campuses and in public places, you may have a friend or classmate you suspect may be trapped in trafficking.

You are not sure, but maybe you think you might be hearing her silent cries.

BUT WHAT ARE SOME POSSIBLE SIGNS?

HERE ARE SOME POSSIBLE INDICATORS THAT MAY SUGGEST THAT SOMEONE IS A VICTIM:

•

Shows an inability to attend school regularly or has many unexplained absences.

•

Runs away from home regularly.

•

Makes references to travel to other cities frequently.

•

Visible bruises from physical trauma

•

Is depressed, withdrawn, fearful and/or very anxious.

•

Is often hungry or malnourished or lacking needed medical care.

•

Dresses inappropriately.

•

Displays a sudden change in how they dress, their behavior, their relationships, or material possessions. Oftentimes, victims are coerced by expensive gifts.

•

Has a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" who is much older.

•

Engages in promiscuous behavior that seems unusual or uncharacteristic from their typical behavior.

•

Makes references to sexual situations or uses sexual vocabulary that previously was not typical in her language or is not typically used by peers your age.

NEXT STEPS: Don’t be a bystander—you can help. Make notes of your concerning observations and report your suspicions to your school counselor. Instead of approaching the

person you suspect might be a victim, seek guidance from your school counselor for any further next steps.

45

M IND F UL LET T ERING

Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

S PA C E TO P RAC T IC E, D RAW, OR JOURNAL :

47

she is Brave & Beautiful you!

Pornography Sex Abuse & Trauma Sex Trafficking

CHOOSE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS STEPS: 1. Take inventory of any way that you may be influenced by the ‘pornified culture’ you live in as described in the first article, Free from Porn.

3. Review the articles 10 Tips and More Online Tips. Make a copy of the 10 tips and memorize them. Consider doing the following actions today or this week:

• Have you posted things that were motivated by a desire for people to like your body? Or do you look at posts to compare your body to others? Choose to stop looking at and posting posts that promote body comparison.

• Set up a safety word that only you and your family knows.

• Do you look at porn regularly or from time to time?

Choose to stop and reach out for help if you have difficulty stopping.

• If your friends watch porn as a group, choose not to participate and consider sharing with them some harmful effects of porn.

2. If you have ever been sexually abused—even touched inappropriately by an adult, child (sometimes a child is victimized by another child), or teen—have you sought help and healing for that traumatic experience? If not, you can get help by reaching out to a trusted family member or relative, or trusted adult. Review the steps to healing in the article Stepping Stones: The Healing Process and consider walking them through.

• Memorize at least one trusted friend’s or family member’s phone number • For your safety, allow 2-3 people to track your phone so they know where you are.

• Set social media settings on private and turn off location information setting.

4. Practice being a safe place for others. Memorize empathetic statements you can say and actions you can do, to be a safe place for someone who shares with you about their trauma. Review the article Be a Safe Place and practice being a safe place for others whenever they share vulnerably about something painful. This article will give you things you can say and do that can bring a level of healing to them.

Start the process with God. Next, continue by sharing with one trustworthy person.

Seek help from a credible prayer ministry and seriously consider professional counseling.

48

1-888-373-7888 BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

TOLL-FREE HOTLINE | 24/7 CONFIDENTIAL

Get Help Report Trafficking

Action Steps

YOU GO GIRL! LET’S WALK IT OUT. ••

VOLUME 04 – PART 2

Hope rises.

+ Voices of Freedom + Hope Rising

Let Freedom Ring! There are silent cries… and you are beginning to hear them more and more. Now it is time to raise your voice together with others and declare,

“Let Hope Arise!”

In this section, pay attention to God’s heart, whispers, and nudges.

• What is He saying to you?

• How is your heart being moved?

• Become a witness to God’s miracle working power rescuing, healing, restoring, protecting, and raising up lives!

Imagine this. As you arise, you just might become that miracle needed in someone’s life.

Yes you—a brave and beautiful miracle.

“ Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.

See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you.

ISAIAH 60:1-2 NIV

49

Voices of Freedom 50

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Listen to the voices of survivors and be changed forever.

51

A LETTER TO YOU FROM THE HEART DEAR SISTERS, I am Kawai. I am a survivor. I would prefer to be called a ‘survivor’ rather than ‘victim’.

I was born and raised in Hawaii. Not long ago, I was your typical 15-year-old teen who cared about her looks, popularity, parties, and of course…boys! I was a very insecure teen, worried about my body image and beauty standards. I didn't have much planned for my future. All I wanted to do was party with my friends and live a reckless life. I had always told myself, “You only live once. Make the most of it!”.

Due to my behavior and the bad influences that were affecting me at the time, I transferred from a public school to a small private school that I didn’t even know existed. This is when my behavior and thought process started to get out of control!

I never believed sex trafficking was real in Hawaii, a place often called ‘paradise.’ I had no clue that I was about to be groomed and sex-trafficked into a dark world.

After I moved schools, an extremely popular, older boy soon became interested in me. So many girls wanted him. So of course, I felt on top of the world knowing that I had THAT boy! He was your typical bad boy with tattoos, gold chains, nice clothes, money, always invited to parties, and always had drugs on him.

In the beginning of our relationship, it was as if he could never do anything to hurt me. Yes, we had a cupcake stage. I gave him my heart. He knew nearly everything about me. He knew I didn't have a great relationship with my family. He knew I craved attention and affection, which is exactly what I got from him with a little twist no one saw coming. Anything he wanted me to do, I did. Why do you ask? Because of the simple line he often told me, “If you really love me, you would do it.” That simple line became a tool to abuse, manipulate, and control me.

After four months in the relationship, he started to show his true colors. He knew I did not have a support system. I believed there was nobody else in my life who would listen to me or understand me. He abused me sexually, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

I ended up running away from home on May 26, 2015. While living away from home, I attended a party that was held in Waikiki, a famous tourist area in Hawaii. The party was nothing I was used to. I was surrounded by older men and women who were drugged up and I was vulnerable to be taken advantage of. I stayed for the heck of it and ended up becoming drugged myself!

52

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

I woke up in a dark room. No clothes. No phone. Just a thin blanket that did not cover my whole body. My body was aching, bruised up, and I had a terrible hangover. I had become an object that was worth money. After this incident, I was sold around to multiple men, raped, beaten, and starved. I felt so alone, helpless, worthless, and unloved.

Months later I was miraculously found, rescued, and brought home to my family.

However, I was not the same person, I was barely identifiable—new hair, 50 pounds lighter, swollen face, and much more.

The hardest part about this experience was my healing process. I did not know where to begin. I spent many painful nights crying and asking God, “Why me?” My healing process took many tears, trials, tribulations, therapy sessions, and most of all, learning to love myself and know my worth.

Learning to love myself was the hardest part.

How could I love myself when all I identified myself as were the mentally abusive names I was repeatedly called for the past 6 months?

I prayed. I prayed to forgive myself, forgive my traffickers, and I prayed to move on. I wrote every day in a journal about how I was feeling.

I now look back in that journal and smile.

Yes, smile. I smile because the teenage girl I was when I wrote in my journal is now someone who is able to walk in public by herself without going into a panic attack. I am a young woman now—a woman who has been through trauma, survived, and recovered. I know I am not an object for a man to buy for $500. I know I should not let myself be vulnerable to men just because I’ll get ‘attention’ out of it. I am a woman of immense value, as each of you are!

I speak to you from my heart. I pray my story will give you wisdom and inner strength to protect yourself from danger and give you the encouragement and inspiration to know that you have incredible value and purpose!

I learned that when you fall, you get up. You try again. You pray. You forgive.

You discover the beauty you have to give to this world and give it!

53

f re e

FINALLY FREE

A STORY FROM A SURVIVOR SUBMITTED BY ZOE INTERNATIONAL BASED IN THAILAND One New Year's holiday, I went to stay at my aunt’s house. While I was there, my aunt asked me if I wanted a job working at a restaurant in the big city. I thought it sounded like a good idea and would be a way to earn money and help my grandmother, who I lived with.

I took the bus as my aunt had directed and, after many hours of traveling, I arrived at the restaurant. The city was very busy and different from what I was used to.

When I got inside the restaurant, a few other girls were also waiting to hear about the job. That night a man met us at the restaurant to explain. He told us that our job was not serving food – but that we would be giving sexual services to men.

I didn’t know what to do. I had no idea how this promise of a “good” job had turned out like this. I didn’t even know where I was, or how I could escape to find my way back to my grandma’s house. Had my aunt known about this all along? I felt confused, alone, and uncertain about what to do next.

I felt scared. I was trapped.

Unable to escape, I was taken to another location where we started “work” the next night around 9pm and didn’t finish until 5am. Night after night, once the clients had all left, we girls would collapse exhausted and sleep upstairs

54

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

above the club until it would all start again the next night.

The owner forced us to work every day.

One night, the owner was very nervous and told us to stay out of sight. We did not know why, but we heard shouting and the sound of police sirens. We were crouching down in a laneway just outside the back of the club when some of the other girls took a risk and ran away down the street into the night. I was too scared to run and remained hidden, my heart pounding.

All I remember next was that a bright light was shining on me and suddenly I was pulled up out of my hiding place.

I felt confused at first, but the reassuring voices of the rescue team were telling me that I was safe.

The ZOE Child Rescue team alongside local police successfully rescued Mina and some of the other girls that night and brought them to a safe house.

The owner of the bar was successfully prosecuted.

ZOE was able to reunite Mina with her grandmother.

Mina is now safe and working a job that she loves.

Mina thanks God, and ZOE, for giving her "new life… life to the fullest" which is what ZOE means in Greek. *Based on real life events. In an effort to protect her identity, her name and the details of this case may have been slightly changed.

stron g

RESCUED TO RISING STRONG

A STORY FROM A SURVIVOR SUBMITTED BY ZOE INTERNATIONAL BASED IN THAILAND It’s hard for me to tell my story. Before I came to live at ZOE, my life was not good. Many times, I felt like I wanted to get out, but I never could. I felt trapped. I knew that children shouldn’t be doing what I was doing but whenever I got a small amount of money, it gave me what I needed to survive.

For a while, that little bit of money numbed my pain.

To survive, I tried to block out anyone who would show me real love. I no longer cared how anyone else felt. I just focused on the money, but deep down I was not happy. I felt like my life had no value, so I would just keep doing the same things. I was ashamed, broken and lonely.

Coming to ZOE really changed my life. I learned that I am VALUABLE in God's sight. It was strange at first because I wasn’t used to people being kind and caring. I was welcomed into a warm and loving family and the longer I stayed, the more I grew to love the ZOE staff and the mothers so much. They helped me learn many new things.

For the first time I saw and understood what real love looks like. I learned about forgiving and sharing. I learned that my life is important…that I am important.

It is hard to explain how different I feel and how much I love God. I understand how much He loves me, and I am trying to change the way I had thought about myself, and now I have new thoughts about the future.

There are many things that I want to thank God for.

God does more than I ever think He can. Even just the other

day, I was worried because I thought I would need to leave ZOE and go somewhere else. I wasn’t ready to leave, and I was scared. I kept praying to God. I did not want to go, but I knew I would be ok because I knew that God would be with me. When one of the ZOE staff came and reassured me that I could continue to live at ZOE, I knew God had answered my prayers.

I will now be able to finish my grade level at the ZOE Learning Center and then in the future I want to study Business Administration. I would like to become an expert in English. These are the new thoughts I have about my future.

I know that sometimes I still make mistakes. I know it will take time to change, but I want to try. Thank you, God, for rescuing me! *Based on real life events. In an effort to protect her identity, her name and the details of this case may have been slightly changed.

55

M IND F UL LET T ERING

Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

S PA C E TO P RAC T IC E, D RAW, OR JOURNAL :

57

Hope Rising 58

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

God is raising up a generation that stands strong against this injustice.

59

There is Hope Rising.

Many people around the world are being moved to take action and do their part! Organizations are rising up in communities and nations that are committed to heal and restore victims of sex-trafficking.

It starts with you. And it starts with me. We connect with God’s heart... and become fueled by His passion and power to bring transformation and freedom.

The journey to making a difference involves sacrifice, tears of perseverance through hardship, and keeping the vision alive in your heart when you sometimes feel so alone!

But dreams do come true that change history.

let’s dream with God and discover what is possible.

“I PRAY THAT GOD, THE SOURCE OF HOPE, WILL FILL YOU COMPLETELY WITH JOY AND PEACE BECAUSE YOU TRUST IN HIM. THEN YOU WILL OVERFLOW WITH CONFIDENT HOPE THROUGH THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.” ROMANS 15:13 NLT

60

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

D O O D L E S O MET H ING T H AT ILL UST RAT ES H OP E:

61

The Global Crisis.

GOD IS STIRRING HEARTS

The sex trafficking of women and children has been going on for thousands of years. With the growth of online access to pornography, the demand for buying sex has soared around the world.

Like the illegal drug industry, enormous amounts of money are being made by sex traffickers who are also involved with organized crime organizations and gang activity. Industry recruiters can be school classmates, boyfriends, or people considered online friends. In some cases, traffickers can even be family members.

GOD’S HEART IN THIS. Does God’s heart break over this crisis? Yes! You can be sure that God

sees all. He is actively stirring hearts in His people to be His eyes, hands, and feet! God also hears and answers victims’ prayers and their cries for His help. God is always in the business of protecting, rescuing, delivering, healing, restoring and resurrecting lives.

BE INSPIRED WITH HOPE. We share these stories to inspire and bring you hope that God is raising up organizations and ministries that help to recover, heal, and restore victims of sex trafficking.

JOIN US. Is God stirring your heart? You can join in the fight by partnering with Explicit Movement as we connect with various organizations and ministries locally in Hawaii and globally.

Together let’s make a difference!

Explicit Movement is honored to partner with Zoe International and other organizations in their fight to end human trafficking.

Together, we seek to bring healing and restoration to survivors of sexual exploitation.

62

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

MIND F UL LET T ERING

Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

D O O D L E S O MET H ING T H AT ILL UST RAT ES H OP E:

63

Poem

Dancing with Father LISTEN TO THE SILENT CRIES PRINCESS, WHY ARE YOU HIDING?

By Michele Okimura

Did you know that God has called you to be a restorer of lives—to love people to life? You are His heart, hands and feet in this world. Just as God calls you His Beloved, His Princess, His Precious, He desires you to help others understand their incredible worth and God’s love for them.

He invites you to dance with Him in life—and then invite others to experience the love of the Lord as you have...to help prepare them to meet their Heavenly Father.

But it first begins with YOU responding to His invitation to dance with Him in the journey of life.

May this vision encourage you and anyone you know who needs to know they have purpose and value! *This poem has brought healing and comfort to survivors of sex trafficking, those who were involved in prostitution, as well as to girls and women around the world just like you.

HEAR HIM CALLING YOU NOW!

64

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Invited I was to this dance, this event, unbelievable to me an invitation was sent!

Who could it be?

It was Father God’s call.

Disbelief at first, then hope rising tall.

My dress was all white with a delicate flow.

Lace, ribbons and pearls, silk, satin aglow.

The people near me were clearing away, Till I saw Him there, not a word did I say.

As I peered through the door, the joy I did see, on the faces of all a look relaxed and so free.

A song called me forth to this glorious place.

I slowly inched in with a hesitant pace.

The room was alive!

Looking over the scene, such a chattering crowd, against the wall I did lean.

Much rejection I knew, for years I did hide.

Alone and unloved.

Quite ugly inside.

Raging within heart of turbulent seas.

Not good enough.

Always striving to please.

So in the back row, I hunched quietly there.

Blended in well.

Did anyone care?

Then above all the music a gentle word came.

Someone calling for me?

Was it really my name?

“Could I have this dance?”

He asked me with glee.

“Who me?”

“Yes, you.”

Tender eyes fixed on me.

Who am I to be picked?

The struggle began.

The thought then occurred, “Maybe I can.”

“But I feel so unsure,” I wanted now to retort.

Little did I know His arms would support.

But what if I stumble?

What if I trip?

So awkward I felt, would I fall from His grip?

Echoing in my head loud and clear, aching pain so familiar, it often would sear.

Does heaven hear my lament and my cries?

Rescue me Lord.

Will your eagle’s wings rise?

Childhood memories began swirling in me.

Tormenting words.

Lord, how to be free?

Thought patterns and labels, in my head loudly rang.

Deep down in my being, I felt a sharp pang.

Such compassion I felt, as never before.

The healing began.

First little, then more.

Such unspeakable love, so wide, deep, and high!

Eternal, transforming.

He answered my cry.

Bitterness, despair, wedged deep in my soul.

Receiving the lies had taken its toll.

He asked me a question.

I then lent my ear.

When I heard His voice, I started to tear.

My eyes were then drawn to my dress pure and white.

This He provided.

Such beauty, so bright!

“A Sad Disappointment.

You’re not worth very much!”

Shame, fear controlled me, then I felt His touch.

“For the rest of your life, could I have this dance?

Will you be my partner?”

Joy inside me did prance.

Then a vision appeared of His passionate love So kind and unending, as gentle as a dove.

He placed His two hands on my head as He spoke.

Declaring out loud, breaking chains and my yoke.

“When we’re together, you’ll see truth and light.”

“Yes, Lord,” I said, “With my soul, strength and might.

These scenes from my Lord hide in me everyday, through this He is teaching me His holy way.

“You are my daughter!

You’re adopted, you’re mine.

An orphan no more!

You are part of my vine.

You’re worth pursuing, I’m setting you free.

I’m restoring your heart.

In my presence, just be.

With my help and power, you can forgive.

You have my Spirit, walk with me and live!

So take in my smile, my joy and my peace.

Rest secure in my love, do trust me, release!”

His hand reached for mine while the music played on.

It was as we danced, that the battle was won.

I’ll follow you, Lord, I’ll follow your lead, though my faith be as small as a mustard seed.”

I was in a large room with some women there too.

I was dressing them in gowns of white hue.

My shriveled heart was awakened in me.

Once death, now there’s life!

No longer I’ll flee.

Then to others ‘round them, they did likewise.

Now sensitive women, they could hear silent cries.

He named me anew, ‘Precious Gift Among Saints,’ ‘Set Apart,’ and ‘Chosen,’ ‘A Masterpiece He Paints.’

The comfort received must be given away.

May all know His love, I now earnestly pray.

‘Sweet Aroma,’ and ‘Favored,’ to His arms I will dash.

His awesome power made beauty from ash.

He gave me a purpose, a mission of sorts, to prepare those that seek Him to adorn His bright courts.

To help other daughters get dressed pretty and fair, for inside and out, they’re exquisitely rare!

To help clothe them in truth of who they now are.

Each princess crowned, a shining, bright star.

To help ready them for a time ever so true, for the dance of their lives that would make them brand new.

And so I received His blessing and call.

This dance with The Father had broken my wall.

The miracle of change He has done deep in me, has opened my eyes, once blind, now I see.

As I journey with Him, it is Him I pursue.

To Him all honor, praise, glory is due!

‘Dancing With Father’.

Do you hear His song?

Please come right on in, He’s been waiting so long.

A bright future awaits, He offers you hope.

More than survive.

More than just cope.

Hear Father’s love song, His voice beckoning now.

Let Him lead you in faith, He will show you how.

You’ll be safe in His arms, in His warm embrace.

He’ll keep you in step to His rhythm and pace.

What joy waits for you if you answer God’s call.

Would you dear beloved, come to The King’s ball?

65

BECOME A

FREEDOM FIGHTER

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, Because the Lord anointed me To bring good news to the humble; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim release to captives And freedom to prisoners; ISAIAH 61:1 NASB

66

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

67

THE RISING OF THE SISTERHOOD

By Michele Okimura

Some of us have our gal pals we love and treasure—sisters in the faith who • • • • • • • •

have our back, support us through thick and thin, we can trust with our heart, shoot straight with us when we need some feedback, keep it all in confidence when we ‘blah’ out our rawest feelings, point us to God when the rubber meets the road. will think the best of us before assuming the worst. appreciate us just as we are.

Yet some of us have an unmet desire to have that kind of sister friend—maybe you once had a friend like that, but lost that friendship through varying circumstances, or maybe you never experienced that type of sister bond with a friend.

Finding those girlfriends, those sisters in the faith who ‘get us’ and we ‘get them,’ can be a process and can take patience.

AND...while in middle or high school, it is a fact that we can go through the heartache and the stress of various social dramas that can be discouraging, frustrating, even painful at times... leaving us feeling lonely, alone, and maybe even feeling misunderstood.

Sister, my prayer for you is that God will provide that sister friend for you. We all need safe places, a harbor for our hearts in a trusted friend. We need mutual friendships where we can be there for our sister friends in the same wonderful ways they are there for us.

Some of us may not relate at all to the concept of being part of a sisterhood of faith, but the truth is, you are a part of something big God is doing in the earth, and it involves partnering with brothers and sisters!

68

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

WHERE HAVE ALL OUR SISTERS GONE?

When I hear of sex trafficking and how there are over a million (some say millions) ‘missing’ girls and women on the planet who are most likely missing due to the horrors of trafficking and slavery, my heart breaks. Throughout centuries, the enemy of our souls has attempted with a vengeance—and has succeeded in many families and cultures in the world—to silence, demean, degrade, use and abuse, and destroy women.

Though it is true that boys and young men also fall victim to sex trafficking— the majority of victims are female.

Because I am a woman, I feel a special empathy for my missing sisters in the human race—those who know God and the millions who have yet to experience the powerful love of our Heavenly Father.

We are His Mighty Warriors alongside our sisters and brothers!

We are His Freedom Fighters!

We stand and fight for God’s Purposes.

We are learning how to walk in the authority He has given us.

He empowers us with His strength.

The following verse describes a company of women who were chosen by God to war.

“The Lord gives the command; The women who proclaim good news are a great army:” PSALM 68:11 NASB

These women were specifically called

by God to destroy His enemies. They did such an outstanding job, that the kings and armies fled and were scattered in chaos, making way for the women to even loot their camp!

Brave-Heart, be stirred by God’s devotion for justice and mercy!

Will you allow God to give you His heart for the cause of fighting sex trafficking?

Will you seek Him for ways you can help bring God’s shining justice, mercy, and restoration to the world?

We can do this together!

LET THE SISTERHOOD OF FAITH ARISE! “...what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness...” MICAH 6:8 ESV

IF EVER THERE COMES A TIME WHEN THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD COME TOGETHER PURELY AND SIMPLY FOR THE BENEFIT OF MANKIND, IT WILL BE A FORCE SUCH AS THE WORLD HAS NEVER KNOWN.” MATTHEW ARNOLD, NINETEENTH-CENTURY BRITISH POET AND PHILOSOPHER

THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS ON ME, BECAUSE HE HAS ANOINTED ME TO PROCLAIM GOOD NEWS TO THE POOR. HE HAS SENT ME TO PROCLAIM FREEDOM FOR THE PRISONERS...TO SET THE OPPRESSED FREE. ” LUKE 4:18 NIV

I PRAYED TO GOD TO MAKE ME STRONG AND ABLE TO FIGHT, AND THAT’S WHAT I’VE ALWAYS PRAYED FOR SINCE.” HARRIET TUBMAN, FREEDOM FIGHTER, CONDUCTOR ON THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD

LOVELY ONE, IF YOU DARE TO DREAM, YOU MUST BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO FIGHT.” LISA BEVERE, GIRLS WITH SWORDS: HOW TO CARRY YOUR CROSS LIKE A HERO

THE RISING

OF THE

SISTERHOOD

69

M IND F UL LET T ERING

Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

Action Steps

YOU GO GIRL! LET’S WALK IT OUT.

she is Brave & Beautiful you!

••

Voices of Freedom Hope Rising

CHOOSE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS STEPS: 1. Throw a movie night or a viewing party where you invite friends to watch a movie or video(s) about sex-trafficking so they can gain awareness and preventions tips. After viewing, have a short discussion about their take-aways.

2. Form a book club and go through Brave & Beautiful with a group of friends and discuss your take-aways after each chapter!

3. Use your social media to help educate people about the issue—share posts about facts and ways to prevent sex trafficking.

4. Raise Funds for an Anti Sex Trafficking Organization.

Here are just a couple of ideas—ask God for creative ideas. Consider giving to an anti-sex trafficking organization(s) even in your future as an adult.

• Collect loose change: You can do your own fundraiser by collecting loose change from people you know and donate the proceeds to a credible local anti-sex trafficking organization or ministry you know of.

• Give up your birthday presents: You can throw yourself a birthday party but tell guests instead of buying you a gift, they can donate money towards your fundraiser to support an anti-sex trafficking organization of your choice.

5. Creatively express the importance of sex trafficking awareness and prevention through the arts then share your work with others: • Write a poem.

• Write a skit about the issue.

• Write a song.

• Make a creative film to educate others and to help prevent sex-trafficking.

• Paint or create graphics to further the anti-sex trafficking cause.

6. Make it a point to pray about this issue regularly: • Pray for the freedom and safety of those entrapped in sex trafficking and for the healing and restoration of survivors.

• Pray for anti-sex trafficking organizations, ministries, and people you know of who are on the front lines of this battle against sex trafficking.

• Pray that the traffickers, the people who purchase sex, and those who watch pornography, will encounter God, turn from their ways, and instead join the fight against sex trafficking.

Such people are broken people themselves and need the salvation, love, and mercy of God upon their lives.

• Pray as God leads you to pray!

7. Look for ways to support anti-sex trafficking organizations who do good work.

1-888-373-7888

TOLL-FREE HOTLINE | 24/7 CONFIDENTIAL

Get Help Report Trafficking

71

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed.

Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.

PROVERBS 31:8–9 NLT (ITALIC ADDED)

hey, Brave & Beautiful you,

Make the world a better place.

NO ONE CAN DO EVERYTHING BUT EVERYONE CAN DO SOMETHING. - MAX LUCADO

be the change.

BraveAndBeautiful.world

73

THE BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY WITH GOD. THE FATHER SPOKE. BRAVE AND BEAUTIFUL ONE, COME! LET US CONTINUE OUR JOURNEY.

What do I need to bring with me?

Your willing heart.

Where are we going to on this journey?

The destination is My heart.

What will help me on the journey?

Always keep close to Me.

Father! I pray I will remain fully devoted to you!

Hold tightly to my hand. As we walk together, I will complete the beautiful work that has started in you. I am your Helper, Guide, and your greatest Cheerleader.

Nothing is impossible to Me.

What will I experience?

You will experience my love, goodness, power, and much more. I will show you my glory.

But what if the journey is difficult?

I am fearful of the unknown.

Draw near to Me. The closer you are to my heart, you will be less concerned about the challenges of the journey and more focused on serving what is eternal in my Kingdom.

Will I be alone on the journey with you?

Some of the many companions that will join you on this journey are named Joy, Sorrow, Suffering, Hope, Grace, and Wisdom.

But I don’t want sorrow or suffering!

When Sorrow or Suffering visits you, run to Me. Trust Me. I will comfort and heal you. You will know my all-sufficient grace. I call you an Overcomer. Joy and Hope will give you strength. My glory will shine through your weakness.

How can I get more joy?

You will gain joy by abiding in Me. Spend time with Me. Meditate on My Word. Give thanks. You will also grow in joy by loving and serving others.

74

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Father, what are your hopes for me on this journey?

Oh! That you would know the depths and heights of my love for you!

I desire to see you walk in the freedom and fullness of who you were created to be.

You were designed to make a positive difference in the world and in the lives of people.

May you discover and embrace the important plans and purposes I have for your life, one day at a time.

And there is so much more. May you be blessed beyond your wildest imagination!

Come, my Brave and Beautiful Child! Our adventurous journey continues.

The daughter grabbed her Father’s outstretched hand.

They both gazed into each other’s eyes and smiled. Then they continued their marvelous journey in the Kingdom that never ends…

“…for it is the Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”

LUKE 12:32 KJV

PORNOGRAPHY

JOURNEY 04 • PAGE 10~15

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

4A

•

What would you like us to pray for as you arise?

•

In this chapter, which of the two articles stood out to you the most and why? What was a take-away?

•

What were your thoughts about the topic of pornography before reading this chapter? Did your viewpoint change in any respect, or did the articles just reinforce what you already knew? If so, how did it change?

•

What is something new you learned about pornography?

•

What was your takeaway from Brittni’s article on page 13?

•

There is a saying, “Porn kills love,” that Fight the New Drug organization has used since they began. In what ways do you think porn kills love?

•

It is a fact that exposure to porn, especially as a child or young teen, can cause a pornography addiction even in girls. Over the years, there is a growing number of girls and women struggling with a pornography addiction. Without naming names, what is your observation of teen girls watching porn in your school or among your network of people you know? Why do you think that is?

•

What factors in society and culture do you think contribute to the pornography epidemic?

•

There is a great amount of violence towards females displayed in pornography. When boys and men view this, many falsely believe that women like to be physically hurt. Pornography can cause the viewer to become more violent. What are your thoughts about this issue?

•

We want to be a safe place, a safe family, and a safe church family where people can get help if they are struggling with pornography. What contributes towards creating a safe culture where people can feel comfortable voicing their struggles and ask for help?

•

Dating someone who watches porn: Research has shown that watching porn has a negative effect on relationships and is a leading cause for divorce among married couples. When a relationship you are having with your boyfriend or future boyfriend becomes a serious, committed relationship, what are some helpful questions you can ask regarding pornography to keep your relationship healthy, honest, open, and thriving?

•

It is good to have a plan to keep each other accountable on vital matters. Don’t be afraid to talk about this! How can you be sensitive, non-judgmental, yet pro-active?

•

Do you have any questions about pornography? Any comments or thoughts? As a parent or leader, share that you may not have all the answers, but together with the Lord, answers can be discovered!

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

ACTIVITY BRAIN FACTS! Materials Needed: • Smartphone or laptop, internet access to gather information on the negative effects of pornography on the brain and/or relationships.

• Paper for notes, or laptop for recording facts on a document

Instructions: 1.

Have the participants do research on the negative effects of pornography on the brain and/ or relationships. They can read articles and research studies to gather interesting and helpful information. You can decide to have participants work in pairs or individually. *ANOTHER OPTION: You can have the participants visit: https://fightthenewdrug.org and research articles on their site.

2.

You can give them 15-30 minutes to gather the information.

3.

In a small group (or as a mentor/teen girl pair) have a time of sharing their findings and facts.

4.

Discuss what was highlighted to them when learning about the negative consequences of watching pornography.

PORN VS LOVE Materials Needed: • Bible or Bible apps to find scripture • Preview the video on: https://fightthenewdrug.org under videos entitled Brain Heart World.

As a leader, use your judgment to watch the video together with the teen girls. This would be suitable for many teen girls to watch.

Instructions: •

Discuss how sexual purity Is not just about doing the right things, but it is a matter of the heart. Look at the following verses: Proverbs 4:23, Matthew 6:22-23, Matthew 5:28, and Matthew 23:26.

•

Discuss:

•

- Why is it so important to be mindful about what we set our eyes on?

- Our mind on?

- Share an example of how what we ‘feed’ our eyes can influence our minds and our hearts.

If you went ahead and watched the video Brain Heart World together, discuss your take-aways.

NOTES

4B

SEXUAL ABUSE & TRAUMA JOURNEY 04 • PAGE 16~31

*BEFORE DISCUSSING, PLEASE READ THIS IMPORTANT NOTICE! Please check your state laws to see if you are a mandated reporter of sex abuse. If you are a mandated reporter, then if a minor shares with you that they were or are being sexually abused, you are mandated to report this to government authorities.

If you are NOT a family member or relative of the teen girl or girls in your 1:1 mentorship or small group, please mention this BEFORE your discussion: If any of the girls have been sexually abused in their past (even if they were inappropriately touched) or are currently being abused, then please instruct them to NOT share about this in the group. This is private information that you would not want the girls in your small group to have to navigate through. You want You want to handle such a sensitive situation in the best way.

Instead, encourage them to tell a trusted family member, relative, or trusted adult to get help. If you are in a 1:1 mentorship and the teen girl wants to share with you as a trusted adult or family member, then respond compassionately and be prepared to help.

Due to the sensitivity of this issue, we did not provide any additional activities, as this topic lends itself more to a meaningful, helpful dialogue.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

In this chapter, which article stood out to you the most and why? What was your take-away?

•

What are new facts you learned about sexual abuse?

•

Remind the girls that sexual abuse and trauma can range from being inappropriately touched to more aggressive situations. Nevertheless, such incidences can affect a person in various ways.

•

What are some practical things you can do to help safeguard yourself from being in such a potentially dangerous circumstance? (Discuss various situations such as going into an elevator alone with another man, walking alone in a parking lot, or being in a crowded bus, etc.)

•

Reflecting on the article on sexual harassment on page 21, what are some practical ways to stand up for yourself should a classmate or someone in authority harass you? It is good to address inappropriate actions as soon as they happen, rather than letting bad behavior go on and on—it helps to have a plan. What are some words you can say or actions you can take in the following situations: (discuss possible ideas such as walking away, or assertively saying, “Please stop!”)

- A guy teases you or someone else about a private body part - A guy snaps your bra strap with his fingers - You are in a store and as a person walks behind you he/she inappropriately touches you.

- Someone starts to tell you crude, sexual jokes

4C

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

•

If the discussion is open and flowing well, as a leader, you may consider sharing any personal experiences you have had regarding sexual harassment, and ask the group: - What are some other sticky situations that you have experienced or observed where inappropriate actions took place or inappropriate words were said?

- Going forward, should that happen again to you, what could you do to walk in your power to help put a stop to the harassment?

•

If you are with older teens, use your judgment to briefly share a hope filled, inspirational testimony of healing from the shame and pain of sexual abuse if you have one—either from your life, someone famous who shared their story publicly, or a person you know of without sharing their name. After sharing, ask: - What are your thoughts or take aways from what I just shared?

- Do any of you have a hope-filled God testimony of someone who was sexually abused and who got healing—and maybe is speaking out to help others?

•

Do you have any questions about sexual abuse? Any comments or thoughts? As a parent or leader, share that you may not have all the answers, but together with the Lord, answers can be discovered!

•

Dating someone who watches porn: Research has shown that watching porn has a negative effect on relationships and is a leading cause for divorce among married couples. When a relationship you are having with your boyfriend or future boyfriend becomes a serious, committed relationship, what are some helpful questions you can ask regarding pornography to keep your relationship healthy, honest, open, and thriving?

•

It is good to have a plan to keep each other accountable on vital matters. Don’t be afraid to talk about this! How can you be sensitive, non-judgmental, yet pro-active?

•

Do you have any questions about pornography? Any comments or thoughts? As a parent or leader, share that you may not have all the answers, but together with the Lord, answers can be discovered!

NOTES

4D

SEX TRAFFICKING

JOURNEY 04 • PAGE 32~48

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

In this chapter, which article stood out to you the most and why? What was your take-away?

•

What are some new things you learned about sex trafficking that you didn’t know before?

•

On pages 39-41, there are two articles about online protection. Which tip or tips especially stood out to you that you want to apply to your lifestyle right away?

•

Referring to the article on page 43, Yikes! It Happened to Me, ask: - In what way did Raiza handle the situation in a wise way?

- Could she have done something differently? If so, what is another way she could have handled the situation?

- What would you do if someone approached you and kept complimenting you?

- What would you do if someone followed you around trying to get you to come with them or get your phone number?

•

Sex trafficking happens in many, if not all communities at some level. However, many people are unaware that it is happening around them. In your school or community, how prevalent do you think sex trafficking is? Share any experiences or something you observed that looked suspicious. *Remind the participants that throughout Brave & Beautiful, the sex-trafficking hotline is handy for them to call should they need help or someone they know wants help.

•

Do you have any questions about sex trafficking? Any comments or thoughts? Share that as a parent of leader, you may not have all the answers, but together with the Lord, answers can be discovered!

ACTIVITY AWARENESS ART Materials Needed: • Index cards • Three mini posters with the words FORCE, COERCION, and FRAUD written on them.

• Drawing paper or canvas for each participant, or poster paper if you want the group to work in pairs.

• Colored pencils, markers, or paint (for painting on canvases) Instructions:

4E

1.

Have the girls write a definition of sex trafficking in their own words on their index card.

2.

Ask for volunteers to share their definition.

3.

Review the definition of sex trafficking in the first paragraph in the article, What is Sex Trafficking?

On page 34.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

4.

Discuss what they think the definition of the words force, coercion, and fraud are. Then share these simple working definitions: - Force: when violence is used to control someone - Coercion: when threats and manipulation are used to control someone - Fraud: when lies and deceit are used to control someone

5.

Share and discuss: When you think about the subject of slavery, which usually involves putting a price on someone’s life, treating a person as property or an object to be used, what thoughts and feelings come up for you?

6.

Share the following statistics: - There are millions of modern-day slaves in existence today.

- Thousands of people get trafficked every year.

- The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) reported that they estimate over one million children and teens enter the sex trade every year.

- The National Center for Homeless Education found that approximately 1 in 3 runaway teens will be approached by a sex-trafficker within 48 hours of being on the street.

7.

Contrast the slavery of a person with the value that God puts on a life, His creation! Read Psalm 139.

8.

Give each participant a drawing paper or a canvas. Using colored pencils, markers, or paints, have them create an image that expresses anything they want to express about this issue of sex trafficking.

The following are just some ideas but encourage the girls to be creative! There is no right or wrong way! (*Another option is to work in pairs, creating their message on poster paper) -

9.

It could symbolize the pain of victims.

It could communicate a message against sex-trafficking.

It could illustrate an awareness message.

It could illustrate God’s heart towards this issue It could express their feelings.

After the artwork is done, have a time when each participant shares their artwork. Encourage each participant to make positive observation about each piece and share what it communicates to them personally.

10. Spend time praying about the issue of sex-trafficking as God leads.

NOTES

4F

VOICES OF FREEDOM JOURNEY 04 • PAGE 50~57

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

Which of the three testimonies by the survivors touched your heart the most? Why?

•

Know that it took courage for these survivors to share their personal stories with you. If these survivors were sitting in front of you right now, what questions would you ask them? What would you want to tell them?

•

What do these testimonies communicate or reveal to you about the Lord?

•

What do the stories reveal about God’s desire and ability to heal?

•

Think of each of these testimonies as letters from an older sister to you, a younger sister. Kawai wanted to especially express her heart to the readers as her younger sisters in the Lord. What is something you learned from these real-life stories?

•

Did your perspective about sex trafficking or victims of sex trafficking change? If so, what new perspective did you gain?

•

A person’s story is precious and powerful. When we take time to reflect on a person’s story, gems of wisdom and insight can be imparted to us. What is a lesson learned or insight you gained that you want to apply to your life going forward?

ACTIVITY FREEDOM WRITERS Materials Needed: • Lined paper • Pens • Printed photos from the internet depicting or expressing ‘freedom’ (for example, a bird flying, a horse running free, a wide-open field, etc.)

• (optional) Drawing paper and colored pencils or markers

Instructions: •

Discuss together the concept and feeling of ‘freedom.’ Share your pictures depicting the feeling of freedom.

•

Share how God wants us to live with a sense of joyful, inner freedom. Explain how there are still God’s guidelines to live by, but God wants to set us free from captivity and the inner prisons we can sometimes find ourselves in.

•

Read aloud or have the participants read aloud the following verses: - 2 Corinthians 3:17

4G

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

- Galatians 5:1

- John 8:36

- Luke 4:18

•

Share that in this chapter, the voices of survivors were voices of freedom. They were once slaves and captives, and now they are free. Their voices are now being heard all over the world through Brave & Beautiful. There is something so brave and beautiful about being free in Christ!

•

Explain that you will have them do a simple creative project—a simple poem. They are to begin each line with the words, ‘Freedom is…” They can use symbolism and their imagination to express the concept of freedom through writing. Their poem can be literal or imaginative to express what freedom is. Statements can be humorous or serious. You can read the following examples: - Freedom is a green sprout breaking free, rising from darkness to light.

- Freedom is the sound of drumming gone wild.

- Freedom is a butterfly somersaulting from flower to flower.

- Freedom is a cloud laughing in the sky.

- Freedom is a loud scream bouncing from mountaintop to mountaintop.

- Freedom is a stampede of buffalo pounding new land.

- Freedom is the whisper of the wind tickling my face.

•

*As a leader, you could decide to give the participants a 2nd option to simply write a free poem to express their thoughts.

•

Encourage the Freedom Writers that there is no right or wrong way to express the concept of freedom.

Encourage them to ask the Lord to inspire visions of freedom they can write about!

•

You can give them 10-15 minutes to write.

•

If time permits, as an option, they can illustrate a favorite a line from their poem.

•

After everyone is finished, have a time of sharing their poems. Applaud and celebrate each person’s poetry!

•

End in a time of praying for the three Freedom Writers who shared their stories in this chapter, as they are real people persevering through life.

NOTES

4H

HOPE RISING

JOURNEY 04 • PAGE 58~71

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS •

As we learn more about this heavy subject of sex trafficking, it can be easy to lose hope for change. Yet, why do you think having hope is important?

•

Do you have hope that sex trafficking can and will decrease in the world around us? Why or why not?

•

Could you relate to any part of the poem, Dancing with Father? If so, which parts and why?

What was a take-away from the poem?

•

What spoke to you in the Rising of the Sisterhood article?

•

Did you gain any new perspective about the power you have as a rising young woman?

•

On page 68, there is a quote by Matthew Arnold:

•

“IF EVER THERE COMES A TIME WHEN THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD COME TOGETHER PURELY AND SIMPLY FOR THE BENEFIT OF MANKIND, IT WILL BE A FORCE SUCH AS THE WORLD HAS NEVER KNOWN.” Do you think this is true? Why or why not?

•

You can be the change. Together we can be the change. Everybody has a important part in the tapestry of what God is doing! Share what you feel God is speaking to you about your value and as His Hope-Bearer to others.

•

In what ways has God encouraged you to be brave in this Brave & Beautiful Journey?

•

In what ways has God affirmed your beauty this Brave & Beautiful Journey?

•

God calls us to comfort others with the comfort we received. We are called to lovingly help and encourage others with what has been deposited and imparted into our lives.

•

What is a way you can empower others to: - grow in confidence?

- know their identity?

- grow in wisdom?

- protect themselves from being sex-trafficked? (themes of this journey)

•

On the last page of Journey 4, there is a conversation with God entitled The Brave & Beautiful Journey with God. Our journey with God continues on! What was a take-away or insight you received from reading this?

NOTES

4I

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

ACTIVITY

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL THEMED CELEBRATION Whenever we hit a milestone, it is time to celebrate! Completing the Brave & Beautiful 4-part journey is a great accomplishment!

If you are a mother-daughter, or mentor-teen girl pair who went through Brave & Beautiful together, planning a special meal at a restaurant can be a special time to share together as brave and beautiful women of God. If you led a small group of girls through Brave & Beautiful, you can plan a meal at a restaurant or a special party hosted in a home. You may use this opportunity to delegate certain preparations to the girls so they can practice leading and planning!

Using the Brave and Beautiful theme, you can create fun favors and décor.

The following is a list of optional activities you can do in parent-daughter/leader-teen girl pairs, or with a group of teen girls. Please use these ideas as springboards to create new activities as you are inspired: •

Times of Affirmation: Have each person have an opportunity to be in the ‘hot seat’ where everyone else share ways they each see that person as brave (or if in a pair, take turns being in the ‘hot seat’). Then they are to share what are a few beautiful qualities they appreciate about the person.

•

Testimonies: Have each person share one or two ways they were changed by the Brave & Beautiful Journey. How did God meet them as they went through the journey? How did they grow?

•

Self-Awareness: Have each person share one thing they learned about themselves. In what way(s) do they see themselves differently in a more positive way?

•

Connecting Dots Reflections: Have each person share one big take away after reading the articles about pornography, sex abuse, and sex trafficking.

4J

•

Rising of the Sisterhood: What is one way you would like to make a positive difference regarding the issue of sex trafficking?

•

Prayer: Have a time where each person has an opportunity to be prayed over regarding continual growth in their confidence, in their identity in Christ, in and in wisdom. Participants can pray as they feel led to pray blessings for each person.

As a parent or leader, you can close in a general prayer of protection for the teen girl/girls and for God to give her/them heavenly guidance and judgment in safeguarding herself/ themselves from the dangers of sex trafficking and related dangerous situations.

•

Craft: Do a simple craft to create something beautiful as a memento of the occasion.

•

Flower Arrangement Activity: Knowing each type of flower is unique like how each teen girl is unique, purchase a variety of flowers from a wholesaler. Purchase inexpensive vases from a craft store. Have the girls create their own flower arrangement. When done, celebrate each person’s beautiful creation!

•

A Gift: As a parent or leader, you may want to give your daughter or each teen girl participant a memento from you. For example, it could be a book, a piece of jewelry, a journal – anything God inspires! Attach a special meaning to your gift and express your message when you give your gift.

WORTHY CAUSES Materials Needed: • Smart phone or laptop to do some research • Chart paper and markers for each pair or group of three • Chart paper on wall

Instructions:

4K

1.

Go over the passage Isaiah 61:1-4. Discuss God’s heart to rescue and heal people.

2.

Discuss which verse stood out to each girl and have them share why.

3.

Discuss how God is raising up many people in your community and globally to make a difference in the anti sex trafficking movement.

4.

Pair up the girls or form groups of 3 and give each group a chart paper and marker.

5.

Instruct each group to research anti sex trafficking organizations on the internet and find a one or a couple of organizations (depending on how much time you a lot) that are doing good work.

6.

Once they decide on which organization they will be reporting on, they are to write the name of their organization of choice on the chart paper on the wall. Explain that you want each pair or group to do a different organization, so if someone already wrote their choice on the chart paper, they simply choose another organization.

7.

ANOTHER OPTION: Prior to the meeting, as a leader, come up with a list of organizations and have the groups pick one of them to research.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

8.

Instruct the groups to research the organization and on their chart paper, write: - The name of the organization - Mission or vision statement - A brief summary describing the work they do.

9.

Have a large group time of sharing about the various organizations.

10. Take time to pray for the organizations.

BE THE CHANGE Materials Needed: • Make copies of the article entitled, Ho‘ōla Nā Pua Means ‘New Life for Our Children, or read the article aloud. (see next page for article)

Instructions: 1.

Introduce this time by discussing the power of hope, and what can happen when people lose hope and become hopeless.

2.

Ask the group to share why they think God wants us to never lose hope and hope in Him.

3.

Read aloud the following verses, or have the participants read the verses aloud: Jeremiah 29:11 Ephesians 1:18

Isaiah 40:31 Psalm 33:18

Romans 15:13

4.

Encourage the group about how God’s Word strengthens our hope and hope can spur us on to dream big and be a catalyst for positive change and solutions!

5.

Have the group read the article or read the article aloud to the group.

6.

Discuss how great solutions often start with a dream and a vision that someone has. One person can make a difference! Miraculous things can happen when we partner with God and others! Have everyone share something that stood out to them in the testimony.

7.

Discuss and brainstorm simple ways that the group can help support a local anti-sex-trafficking ministry or organization who is doing good work, ideally in your own community. It could be an organization that heals and restores girls or functions as a safehouse. It could also be a ministry that works with at-risk girls.

8.

Contact the organization to inquire about any needs they may have that your group can meet—for example, maybe they need donations for personal hygiene items or little gifts of encouragement. This is an opportunity to be creative and be generous! It can be a one-time gift or it may turn into ongoing support, as God leads.

9.

Decide how you can be a blessing and a support to the organization chosen.

4L

ARTICLE There is hope rising. Many people around the world are being moved to take action and be the change!

Here is just one of those stories of how great work can start with just one person’s dream. The journey to making a difference involves sacrifice, tears of perseverance through hardship, and keeping the vision alive in your heart when you sometimes feel so alone! But dreams do come true. May the following story inspire you that you can make a difference too!

HO‘ŌLA NĀ PUA ~ NEW LIFE FOR OUR CHILDREN OUR STORY

The vision of Ho‘ōla Nā Pua began over a decade ago, when Jessica Muñoz was working as a Nurse Practitioner in the emergency room and began to notice signs of physical and psychological abuse being endured by sexually exploited children in Hawai‘i. Given the hidden nature of child sex trafficking, the true abuse was often misidentified and left untreated, despite it being the most horrific crime against children. In simple terms: she became aware of a sex trafficking crisis in Hawai‘i, with no sustainable solution for intervention.

On her drive home from a long shift in the Emergency Room, President and Founder Jessica Muñoz looked over at Mt. Ka‘ala as the sun was setting. The clouds parted and beams of light began to shine through the sky illuminating the dark peaks of the valleys below. At that moment, her vision for Ho‘ōla Nā Pua became clear: we must shine the light into the darkness of sex trafficking and watch new life for our children come forth.

When victimization goes unrecognized, its population often falls through the cracks of a social system where neither justice nor adequate care is guaranteed, resulting in trafficked youth that become revictimized with little hope for healing.

Exploited youth were not being told that they matter; that it was not their fault they were victimized; that they have a right to a life free from violence; that someone will continue to walk a path toward healing with them. Exploited youth need immediate intervention and complex treatment for healing that is specialized to their age, gender, and trauma.

It became clear that more needed to be done and Jessica became devoted to “shining the light.”

4M

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Ho‘ōla Nā Pua began one conversation at a time. These conversations with stakeholders and community leaders in both the public and private sector were unpopular and at times uncomfortable; however, each conversation planted a seed of hope, developed relationships, and began a transformational growth in the community.

Pursuing a systemic change (through a multifaceted community collaboration) provides the resources, policies, and practices that provides solutions to the crime of sex trafficking in Hawai‘i.

Our youth can embrace their bright futures through a continuum of care, trauma-informed systems, and comprehensive holistic treatment.

Ho‘ōla Nā Pua has led positive change throughout Hawai‘i with their proven community programming and services such as Hoku Groups, Starfish Mentoring and Advocacy, Education & Awareness Training. In addition, they opened the highly anticipated Bromley Family Pearl Haven Campus, a residential treatment center offering a continuum of trauma-informed care for healing and sustainable society reintegration. The Pearl Haven campus, gives exploited youth renewed hope for a bright future and has rapidly become a clinical model for national and global replication in the fight against sex-trafficking worldwide.

Children are our future. The crime of trafficking threatens the fabric of our society. Every child deserves to be safe. Partnership, generosity, and action will change the future of our at-risk youth and those exploited. Join in our commitment to prevent of sex trafficking and provide care for children who have been exploited.

NOTES

4N