Taco Bill: Gas(trointestinal) emissions are a genius way to

Pollyanna Roberts Deputy Editor

AS the cost-of-living crisis continues to eat at our brains and bank accounts, students are desperately looking for ways to save money and heat their homes. Fear not — Sidwell Street might just have the answer. Exeter students, hold onto your flat caps, Exeter is welcoming a new chain: Taco Bell!

Heat Your Student Home

Whenever you get the chance, hop on down and get a piece of the American dream. While initial reviews suggest that Taco Bell doesn’t end with a good taste, its after effects (approximately two hours post-consumption) can change your world in more ways than one. Eating at Taco Bell offers a cheaper way to heat your student home. Next time someone wants to turn on the heating, keep your hands off the thermostat and or- der a Taco Bell instead. Simply capture the gas emitted post-consumption, bottle it in a camping gas canister, and hook it up to your appliances, leaving warm homes (and stomachs) for everyone.

Simply capture the gas [...] bottle it in a camping gas cannister, and hook it up to your appliances...

Exeposé asked 2nd year student, Belle Softe-Shelle, about this exciting revelation. “We haven’t turned on the heating since December, we just eat Taco Bell three nights a week, and with some extra sriracha we get more than enough heat!” However, she also expressed some qualms with this new money-saving hack: “That being said, I fear the price of all the Febreze we buy costs as much as having the heating on for six hours a day.”