Guild President

My name be Captain Hook Tallon. For many years I sailed the South Devon Seas, plundering and searching for treasure and booty across the land. Yet just three months ago my ship got marooned on the sands of Exmouth. Now I find myself trapped here in Exeter, searching for a new crew to lead to adventures beyond.

WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO BE GUILD PRESIDENT?

WHAT IS THE NUMBER ONE THING YOU’D LIKE TO DO IF ELECTED?

I seek to recruit beyond the stereotypical pirate crew you see. The pirates that I sail with are predominantly too old, too unable to do the agile work needed to work on a ship, and so I seek new blood to aid my journeys, travels and booty hunting.

See my ship, The Red Jenny, was wrecked upon the shores of Exmouth as I already said. And so, using the money and resources of the Guild, I would build myself a new ship: The Trey O’war. I would coat it in the finest gold leaf, arm it with the most powerful cannons available to man and go plundering across all of the South Coast.

What is the biggest challenge you will face in the ROLE?

Students across this university are facing a cost-of-living crisis. And obviously as a pirate captain I care for all those under my command. This is the biggest issue in me opinion and so along with supporting initiatives like the £2.00 meal deal, I would also provide limes for all to combat scurvy. Because scurvy as you know, is a scourge to all pirates and in such a time of economic crisis, if me crew ain’t eating healthily, then scurvy could easily creep up and plague my men, women and non-binary fellows.

What is your BIGGEST WEAKNESS?

For many years in my dreams, I see a demon, a goat coated in white fur. It’s sent shivers to me core. And finally I found it: The vote goat. My terror of it is all consuming. And I fear that if I ran into it, I would be paralysed and so to conquer my fear I will challenge the vote goat to a duel to the death so that we may end its tyranny across our campus.

HOW WILL YOU make sure that you represent all students’ views?

As pirates, we operate the most open-door policy we can on the ship and that is something that I would ensure to bring on to the Students’ Guild. Through a mixture of drop-in sessions where all pirates can enter my cabin, sorry, all crew members or students as you might call them, can enter my cabin or office as you might say, surveys and continuing the coffee mornings. Ensuring that students have the maximum opportunity to engage with their Pirate King at all opportunities.

What is your MOST MEMORABLE NIGHT OUT IN EXETER?

One night me and my crew had just hauled in the greatest beastie of all time. We were hunting a giant narwhal bigger than this whole building. One night when we were off guard, it swallowed us whole. And so, after preparing ourselves by consuming plenty of rum, we hooked and caught the narwhal from the inside and towed it back to shore, still inside the belly of the beast. The subsequent celebrations will stay in my heart to the day I am put to rest at sea. For I drank so much rum, that everything else in my body evacuated itself.