Government to put future referenda on Overheard

AS Rishi Sunak struggles to live up to his lofty ambitions of successful governance, he’s been forced to make full use of an earlier idea to better communicate with the masses: the Overheard at Uni of Exeter Facebook page.

While most consider ‘Overheard’ as a humble marketplace for last-minute TP tickets, (slightly dodgy) offers for accommodation, and even more exotic offers and requests like eyelash, brow and nail models, many are not aware that it is to be the site of future political referenda and censuses on account of its wide reach.

Overheard has learnt from the behaviour and habits of University of Exeter students through the similar countless surveys and polls that have been posted on there, and can now transcend to its true purpose: accommodating data-collecting nationwide. In a press conference held yesterday, Sunak decreed that all future direct public votes and events of public information collection will be put on Overheard, with the ability to tag your mates in order to make sure they vote.

An anonymous government spokesperson has said: “We hope that the new use of Overheard will lead to a new era of governance: between crippling strike action, a crumbling NHS and struggles to “get Brexit done”, Mark Zuckerberg can’t do much worse than us.”

Charlie Gershinson, News Editor & Cleo Gravett, Satire Editor