Napoleon’s summer holiday

Shagnick Bhattacharya and Megan Ballantyne Online News Editor and Former Editor-in-Chief

WITH another academic year coming to a close, we all have to say goodbye to our favourite orange cat for a few months — or forever for those of us graduating. He’s been Forum Hill’s resident celebrity for what feels like years. But without adoring students offering him ceaseless attention, many have wondered what Napoleon gets up to in the long summer months. Exeposé tried to reach out to Napoleon for interview, but unfortunately his reps stated that he was no longer speaking to press following his intense recent Guild Election campaign.

Napoleon has, however, appeared to miss the attention he always receives from students during term time, and has reportedly sought out students to fuel his ceaseless need for adoration.

In a recent incident which eyewitnesses described as “so bizarre” students in Old Lafrowda were hosting their final flat party of the year when they heard a loud knock at the door, and opened it to find Napoleon strawpedoing a bottle of wine. They welcomed him in and described him as “the life of the party” and that they found his karaoke rendition of ‘Moonlight’ from Cats especially impressive.

When campus security finally found Napoleon, they were shocked at the ‘catnip’ students pointed out in the Lafrowda bathroom. Security expressed concern that, following drug testing, this was not catnip but weed and appeared to have been in the bathroom long prior to Napoleon’s visit to the flat. The residents stated that they “would have to agree to disagree.”

Following this incident, Napoleon appears to be enjoying taking personal space away from student attention, which he has previously described as ‘stifling.’ He has even enrolled in a solitary summer wellness retreat to recover from the demands of his celebrity status — he has been meditating and taking yoga classes in the sun to reconnect with his spirituality, and his reps say he is now “living his best life.”