GIVING KIDS WITH LEARNING DIFFERENCES CONFIDENCE AND TOOLS TO GROW

By Joshua Faden

IN A RECENT CONVERSATION, MY MOM DREW COMPARISONS BETWEEN MY CONFIDENCE-BUILDING WORK WITH STUDENTS AND THE CHILDREN’S STORY, THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD. SHE SAID, “YOU HELP YOUR STUDENTS TO THINK THEY CAN!” JUST LIKE THE LITTLE BLUE ENGINE WHO SAW A SEEMINGLY INSURMOUNTABLE TASK OF PULLING A TRAIN OVER A MOUNTAIN, MANY OF MY STUDENTS FACE UNBELIEVABLY CHALLENGING CIRCUMSTANCES—IN AND OUT OF SCHOOL.

My joy is having the opportunity to encourage and support my students as they “puff, puff, puff,” and “chug, chug, chug,” their way to overcoming these difficulties. The key is finding ways to connect with each student as the exceptional individuals they are and to help provide them with tools for building strong foundations. The more I thought of this metaphor, the more I could see my work in this story. So, allow me to explain my confidence-building work through the lens of the Little Blue Engine!

At first, when the Little Blue Engine saw the mountain and the size of the train that needed to be pulled, the task seemed too daunting. Similarly, when a student is learning a new concept

or skill, it can feel intimidating. In my book, The Confidence Project: A Journey Through the Confidence Constellation, I introduce a model called the Challenge Cycle that I use with students to help them go from feeling intimidated by challenges to excited.

The first phase of the Challenge Cycle is Increasing Receptivity. This phase is all about teaching our children how to open themselves up to the challenges they face so they can begin to formulate plans and view themselves as capable of conquering their challenges. When the Little Blue Engine stepped up to the mountain, she was considering whether she could achieve the goal. Tapping into our motivation for facing challenges is about understanding all aspects of the challenge and knowing why we should even put forth an effort.

Once our children believe they can tackle a challenge, we help them to see all the tools they have at their disposal. I call this Increasing Awareness, the second phase of the Challenge Cycle. The Little Blue Engine needed to know how she could hold on to the train cars, how she could pull and tug, and how she could go slowly and at her own pace. Our children need to know what we are asking them to do to overcome their challenges and what steps they need to take. They also need reminders that they can go at their own pace.

Of course, there comes a point when dealing with a challenge when we must face the reality that it is hard. When the Little Blue Engine was making her way up the mountain, surely there were moments when she thought she had bitten off more than she could chew. Perhaps she really wasn’t strong enough or big enough or capable enough to take an entire train over a mountain. Why had she even begun trying? This self-doubt and frustration is natural. I call the Challenge Cycle’s third phase Managing Frustrations. Our children are trying to put all their skills together at once to overcome challenges and find their confidence. It can be overwhelming. It is in this phase when our children may look up and think the mountain seems too steep or their challenge too difficult. The opportunity is for the Little Blue Engine—and our children—to see how far they have already come. The work they have to do now is to push past the insecurities that make them feel they were foolish for trying. However, we can help our children look back at their progress and show them how much they have learned and accomplished. Our children have opened themselves up to their challenge, increased their awareness of the challenge, and they have been putting in work. Sometimes we all need a reminder of how much we have already done to get us to the point where we are even able to try to make it up and over the mountain. That becomes the motivation for moving forward.

Our job becomes helping our children understand and value the work they have done (and can continue to do) to overcome their challenge. The fourth phase of the Challenge Cycle is called Valuing the Effort. When The Little Blue Engine was puffing and chugging and getting into a strong rhythm, the task seemed less formidable. As she climbed and climbed, she could see the top of the mountain approaching, and she soon realized her effort was paying off. When our children begin to find ease in a problem that caused them distress, they begin to realize

all their efforts are worth it. There is a sense of pride and accomplishment that comes with knowing that you can achieve your goals when you put in the work. The train that the Little Blue Engine was pulling carried toys and dolls that brought children in the city over the mountain immense joy. This, in turn, brought the Little Blue Engine much happiness.

When we accomplish what we set out to do, we can find great excitement. The challenge itself can become the thrill. I call the final phase Valuing the Challenge. I always tell my students I not only want them to overcome their challenges but to learn how to find enjoyment in the challenge itself. I would like to think after the Little Blue Engine got to the village with the train and toys and dolls in tow that she was exhilarated by the challenge and perhaps even began seeking out other interesting challenges. This is our work as parents and educators, to not only help our students be open to their challenges but also find delight in their journeys. By teaching our children how to work themselves through their Challenge Cycle, we provide our children with the ability to “think they can!” That is how they will continually achieve their goals and learn to manage their challenges more effectively, efficiently, and joyfully.

Joshua Faden is the Founder and President of Community of Teachers, an educational consulting and tutoring company in Washington, DC that focuses on building student confidence. He just published his first book called The Confidence Project: A Journey Through the Confidence Constellation, which is available now on Amazon! He also co-hosts a podcast called Amplifying Optimism in Education. Prior to starting his company, Joshua was a third grade teacher at a public school in Washington DC. He has worked with students of all ages as well as teachers and parents in the United States, Costa Rica, Morocco, China, Brazil, and Finland. Many of his third grade students are now confident college students, and he relishes that they continue to share their journeys with him.

Website: www.communityofteachers.com

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