Exceptional Needs Today Issue 5

Exceptional Needs Issue 5

T O D AY

HOW TO TALK ABOUT BULLYING

TIPS FOR HELPING YOUR CHILD COMMUNICATE ABOUT THEIR DAY AT SCHOOL

NAVIGATING

TODAY AND

TOMORROW How to Prepare for the Road Test with Autism

The Signs and Symptoms of ADHD

LOOKING TOWARD THE FUTURE WITH MARCUS:

PAWsitive Possibilities

TH FAM E BE ILY NEF TH ITS ERA OF PY

SUPERCHARGE SCREEN TIME WITH VIDEO MODELING

A Special Needs Plan can help answer these questions: 1. Who is going to take care of your child after you are gone and where will they live?

2. How much will that care cost and how are you going to pay for that care?

3. Do you have a special needs trust and do you know how much money you will need in it? How are you going to fund it? How are the funding instruments taxed when you die?

4. What government benefits are available to your child and how do you apply for them?

5. What is the Medicaid waiver and how do you apply for it?

6. How will you communicate your plan to family members?

www.ASpecialNeedsPlan.com Phone (704) 326-7910 Securities and investment advisory services offered through qualified registered representatives of MML Investors Services, LLC, Member SIPC. 4350 Congress Street, Suite 300, Charlotte, NC 28209. 704-557-9600. A Special Needs Plan is not a subsidiary or affiliate of MML Investors Services, LLC or its affiliated companies.

READING IS A

NOVEL

IDEA

AAPC PUBLISHING, INC. THE ONLY PUBLISHING COMPANY TO EXCLUSIVELY PRINT BOOKS FOR INDIVIDUALS ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM AND THOSE WHO SUPPORT THEM

www.aapcautismbooks.com

Contents

Issue 5 GREAT WAYS COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY CAN SUPPORT ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION Dr. Rachel Bédard, PhD

Learn how cognitive behavioral therapy can apply to many clinical situations, including anxiety and depression.

10 THE VALUE OF RECREATIONAL THERAPY INTERVENTIONS FOR ALL KIDS Hannah Lapomarda, CTRS, Rachel Broome, CTRS, Sydney Marguet, MS, CTRS, Caroline Clark, CTRS

13

Learn the myriad ways recreational therapy can provide lifechanging benefits for children with different abilities.

KATE MAKES IT GREAT! EXPERT ADVICE ON PREPARING FOR TOMORROW WITH EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS Kate C. Wilde

17

Consider valuable guidance on assisting teens and adults on the spectrum with lifelong learning and personal development even when others doubt their potential.

SHARING AND LEARNING ABOUT DYSPRAXIC MOTHERHOOD Dr. Catherine Molyneaux, PhD

20

07

SUPERCHARGE YOUR EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS CHILD’S SCREEN TIME WITH VIDEO MODELING

LOOKING TOWARD THE FUTURE WITH MARCUS: PAWSITIVE POSSIBILITIES

Dr. Maria Gilmour, PhD, BCBA-D, LBA, Kelly Stafford, MA, BCBA, LBA, Inga Siler, MS, CCC-SLP, and Lauren Kline, MS, BCBA, LBA

Tammy Flynn

Meet a dedicated mother who created positive opportunities for personal achievement for her adult son with developmental disabilities by focusing on what he enjoys most.

26 EXCEPTIONAL BOOKS NAVIGATING AUTISM: 9 MINDSETS FOR HELPING KIDS ON THE SPECTRUM

27 WHAT YOU NEED TO

KNOW ABOUT THE SIGNS

AND SYMPTOMS OF ADHD

Join Dr. Temple Grandin and psychologist Debra Moore in a second collaboration to learn about nine different mindsets needed to work with autistic youths successfully.

4 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

J. Edwards Holt

Learn how to recognize attentiondeficit/hyperactivity disorder and why a diagnosis is essential for long-term management.

Recognize the growing need for active research and community revolving around the realities of dyspraxia’s effects on parenting from a recently diagnosed dyspraxic mother.

23

30

Find out how to use video modeling daily to learn new skills to supercharge screen time.

THREE TIPS FOR HELPING AN EXCEPTIONAL CHILD COMMUNICATE ABOUT THEIR DAY AT SCHOOL Jessica Leichtweisz, MPS

Learn simple ways to gain valuable insight into your child’s day when communication is challenging.

33 EXCEPTIONAL BOOKS TRANSITIONING FROM A PEDIATRICIAN TO AN ADULT PHYSICIAN

Longtime advocate Tammy Flynn’s eBook is an excellent tool for young adults and the people who love them as they work through the transition to adulthood with complex and chronic medical issues.

34 PERFECTION IS OVERRATED Lisa Palermo Matto

Parenting is hard enough without holding yourself to impossible standards. Read on as a special needs mother reminds readers that a child’s choices are not always a direct reflection of a parent’s worth and to judge oneself less harshly.

36 SINGLE PARENTING YOUR CHILD WITH

A DISABILITY Dr. Ron I. Malcolm, EdD

Read 10 childcare support options that may prove especially helpful for the difficulties of single parenthood.

40 FINANCIAL FOCUS WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FIRST-PARTY TRUST AND A THIRDPARTY TRUST? Ryan F. Platt, MBA, ChFC, ChSNC, CFBS

Learn the situations in which a Third or FirstParty Special Needs Trust may be preferred, as well as the benefits of using a Pooled Trust.

42 EXCEPTIONAL BOOKS THE AUTISM PARENTS’ GUIDE TO RECLAIMING YOUR LIFE

Award-winning writer Deanna Picon provides special needs parents with proven techniques and a clear-cut action plan to build a good life for themselves and their families in The Autism Parents’ Guide to Reclaiming Your Life.

43 AUTISM IN THE WORKPLACE—COULD

LOCKDOWN BRING A BREAKTHROUGH? Mark Palmer

A unique perspective on how changes in work practices during a lockdown may positively assist autistic people in entering and thriving in the workforce.

46 SEVEN THINGS STUDENTS WITH

DISABILITIES SHOULD DO WHEN

STARTING COLLEGE Eric Endlich, PhD

Learn the benefits of self-advocacy and what college disability accommodations can offer students with exceptional needs.

50 POSITIVE VOICES SAM MITCHELL: AMPLIFYING THE VOICES OF EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS Margo Marie McManus

Meet Sam Mitchell, a teenage podcast host, entrepreneur, advocate, and student with autism.

52 BEST WAYS TO PREPARE FOR THE

ROAD TEST WITH AUTISM Andrew Arboe

An autism transition coordinator shares his personal experience preparing for the road test when there are executive functioning and sensory-related difficulties.

56 WAYS TO STAY ON TRACK THIS

SCHOOL YEAR WHEN BOTH PARENT

AND CHILD HAVE ADHD

Faigy Liebermann, AACC, PCAC, ACC Excellent tips on how to help families with ADHD start the school year off right.

59 EXCEPTIONAL ADVICE

FROM MESHELL THE BENEFITS OF FAMILY THERAPY: CREATING HEALTHY DYNAMICS WITHIN THE HOME Meshell Baylor

Find out how family therapy can help secure support and establish communication, especially when there are exceptional needs.

61 FIVE REASONS YOU NEED A

PARENTING COACH AS YOUR GUIDE Janis Meredith

Learn how a parenting coach can provide you with the tools you need as a carer, especially when there are exceptional needs.

64 CEASEFIRE: A NEW APPROACH TO

DIFFUSE INFLAMMATORY

STATEMENTS, DESIRES, AND DECISIONS Raun K. Kaufman

Learn about Taxi Driver Decisional Assistance and how to use it to talk through potentially negative decisions respectfully and sensitively without conflict.

68 EXCEPTIONAL BOOKS YOU WERE MADE FOR THIS—FINDING COURAGE AND INTUITION FOR RAISING A CHILD WITH AUTISM Using her experience as an autism mom and personal coach, Rebecca Jeffreys chronicles her parenting journey and the techniques she used to help maintain perspective, self-care, boundaries, and more.

69 TOP WAYS FAMILIES CAN MAXIMIZE

SPEECH THERAPY IN THE HOME ENVIRONMENT

Rosemarie Griffin, MA, CCC/SLP BCBA Read a partial transcription of an exclusive video with a professional speech-language pathologist on how to maximize your child’s speech therapy outside of school or regular therapy hours.

72 HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD

ABOUT BULLYING

Brett J. Novick, MS, LMFT, CSSW

EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS TODAY

Exceptional Needs T O D AY

Our mission is to educate, support, and energize families, caregivers, educators, and professionals while preparing all families for a healthy future. exceptionalneedstoday.com Founder/Publisher Amy KD Tobik Lone Heron Publishing, LLC Magazine Staff Editor-in-Chief: Amy KD Tobik Editorial Assistant: Margo Marie McManus Copyeditor: Dione Sabella Director of Advertising & Marketing: John Constantino Professional Consultants Chris Abildgaard, LPC, NCC, NCSP Debra Moore, PhD Brett J. Novick, MS, LMFT, CSSW Annette Nuñez, PhD, LMFT Ron Sandison Amy Wagenfeld, PhD, OTRL, SCEM, EDAC, FAOTA Contact Us editor@exceptionalneedstoday.com advertisingdir@exceptionalneedstoday.com advertising@exceptionalneedstoday.com submissions@exceptionalneedstoday.com editorial@exceptionalneedstoday.com

Advice on how to talk to kids early about bullying to preserve their mental health and enhance self-esteem, especially when there are exceptional needs.

74 NATURE NOTES WE’RE GOING ON A… SCAVENGER HUNT!

Amy Wagenfeld, PhD, OTR/L, SCEM, EDAC, FAOTA

Read how a nature scavenger hunt can be easily designed to engage both the body and mind according to your participants’ needs and abilities so everyone can enjoy it.

Exceptional Needs Today is published six times a year and distributed digitally to readers for free by Lone Heron Publishing.

Disclaimer: Advertised businesses and products are not endorsed or guaranteed

by Exceptional Needs Today, its writers, or employees. Always follow medical advice from your physician.

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 5

From the Editor’s Desk

H

ave you ever been introduced to someone and instantly felt like you’ve known them for years? When moments like these happen, it always makes the world seem so much smaller. This happened when I first spoke with Tammy Flynn, founder of The On-Air Advocate, an online platform that supports everyone with different abilities and/or mental and medical illnesses, as well as their caregivers. We talked freely for hours sharing advocacy initiatives, the obstacles we recognize within the system, and ways to continue an optimistic narrative. I’m proud to say this wasn’t the first time this surge of positivity happened for me within the exceptional needs community.

This month’s cover features Tammy’s inspirational son, Marcus, born with developmental disabilities and significant chronic, complex medical issues. Just like millions of other people, when Marcus aged out of the school system, he reached a critical crossroad. As he bridged from entitlement to eligibility services, huge gaps formed in areas of support. After his mother spent 21 years judiciously navigating for her son, Marcus suddenly needed a safe new environment to provide him a sense of community and belonging. In her piece, Looking Toward the Future with Marcus: PAWsitive Possibilities, Tammy shares how she created productive opportunities for personal achievement for her adult son by focusing on what brings him joy—using his skills to raise awareness and funding for shelter dogs. Together they support Mission Marcus: Operation PAWsible, which spreads awareness for animals while serving as a model in creating meaningful work for those with different abilities.

The new school year is an important topic to tackle as many of our kids head back to the classroom. It’s worrisome when someone you love cannot communicate about their school day or an event on the bus. Jessica Leichtweisz, MPS, says you can proactively do things to help a child communicate what happened. Be sure to read Three Tips for Helping an Exceptional Child Communicate About Their Day at School for more details on utilizing social stories, communication devices, and an emotional thermometer.

Her strategies will help you gain better insight into your child’s school day and give you peace of mind.

Brett J. Novick, MS, LMFT, CSSW, says talking to our children about bullying is crucial to preserving the child’s school experience, maintaining mental health, and enhancing self-esteem, especially when there are exceptional needs. Be sure to read How to Talk to Your Child About Bullying for professional advice on approaching this sensitive yet all-important subject.

Another valuable topic to discuss this time of year is attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), affecting millions of people worldwide. As author J. Edwards Holt explains in his piece, What You Need to Know About the Signs and Symptoms of ADHD, a proper diagnosis is essential for long-term management, making it vital to recognize attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. In addition,

6 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

he says a better understanding of ADHD will help correct misconceptions and allow people to get the support they need.

Did you or someone you love begin college recently? If so, you will want to review Seven Things Students with Disabilities Should Do When Starting College by Eric Endlich, PhD. It’s tempting to view college as an opportunity to start anew and steer away from registering with the disability service office after relying on educational plans or supports throughout high school.

College is a time to explore, but it is not the time to walk away from a crucial support base—I cannot stress this enough! In his piece, the founder of Top College Consultants explains the benefits of self-advocacy and what college disability accommodations can offer students with exceptional needs. Be sure to read his piece as he shares key strategies and mindsets that can help set all people up for future success.

Have you ever considered implementing video modeling into therapy? Whether you realize it or not, you are exposed to video modeling every day when watching YouTube or TikTok. Video modeling is valuable for many learners, especially with developmental disabilities and autism spectrum disorder (ASD). One benefit is that videos are simple to watch almost anywhere, anytime. For more information on how to utilize this mode of learning, read Supercharge Your Exceptional Needs Child’s Screen Time with Video Modeling by Dr. Maria Gilmour, PhD, BCBA-D, LBA, Kelly Stafford, MA, BCBA, LBA, Inga Siler, MS, CCC-SLP, and Lauren Kline, MS, BCBA, LBA. The outcomes are just so fascinating!

Navigating today and tomorrow also includes finding new ways to take care of yourself and the people you love. This month, we have articles centered on valuable topics such as single parenting a child with a disability, how to maximize speech therapy at home, how you may benefit from a parenting coach, ways cognitive behavioral therapy can help reduce anxiety and depression, the value of recreational therapy interventions for all kids, plus so much more.

Let’s continue to promote awareness, acceptance, and inclusiveness in the exceptional needs community while making significant changes for the future—together!

Best,

Amy KD Tobik

Editor-in-Chief, Exceptional Needs Today Publisher, Lone Heron Publishing

PLEASE JOIN OUR EXCEPTIONAL COMMUNITY

SKILLS FOR LIFE

Looking Toward the Future with Marcus

PAWsitive Possibilities

By Tammy Flynn

HAVING RAISED A SON BORN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITIES AND SIGNIFICANT CHRONIC, COMPLEX MEDICAL ISSUES, I CAN SAY I HAVE BECOME A MASTER AT LOOKING FOR AND ADAPTING THE PAWSITIVE POSSIBILITIES. IT TOOK A LOT OF EXPERIENCE TO GET TO THIS PLACE. IN FACT, I WOULD DESCRIBE THOSE EARLY YEARS AS FACING A TORNADO, HURRICANE, AND TYPHOON ALL AT ONCE!

T

rying to figure out the lay of the land while also trying to navigate and advocate can definitely be a bit RUFF. You leave no stone unturned as you explore all that is PAWsible for your child— researching schools, services, and resources to give your child/young adult with exceptional needs the best quality of life and opportunities that bring fulfillment and purpose. You spend so much of your time promoting, perfecting your toolbox to help them face life’s challenges.

But, just as you finally mastered how to navigate the storm, you blink your eyes, and 21 years have passed by in an instant.

Suddenly, your young adult is aging out of the school system, and the lay of the land has changed once again. They are now bridging from entitlement to eligibility services, which creates an enormous gap for both you and your child in areas of support, activities, and opportunities. This leaves most parents wondering what’s next.

As we watch this process taking place—our children bridging out of the school system and moving into young adulthood— we long for them to find/have purpose and meaning in all they do. To find somewhere that provides a safe environment where they feel they belong and have a sense of community, whether that’s through employment, volunteering, or simply outside activities and opportunities that maximize their talents combined with the things they are passionate about.

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 7

SKILLS FOR LIFE

As a parent, I was aware this transition was coming. And like most parents would, I thought I was seasoned and experienced enough to do a good job planning ahead. I assumed three years would give us plenty of time to seek out and secure PAWsitive and enriching opportunities for my son. I think for all parents, aside from wanting a safe place for our young adults to go each day, it is most important to us that they are happy! We want them to feel as if they are a part of something more—to wake up each day feeling they have purpose and a place to belong. We want them to find meaningful opportunities that help them to use their amazing talents and give them a deeper sense of self-worth every day.

I spent the first three years post-graduation continuously and relentlessly searching for those opportunities with little success. Eventually, I realized we needed to put on our PAWsitive thinking caps and get creative.

I think for all parents, aside from wanting a safe place for our young adults to go each day, it is most important to us that they are happy!

We want them to feel as if they are a part of something more—to wake up each day feeling they have purpose and a place to belong.

Of course, it would be PAWsitively perfect if these opportunities were awaiting them after graduation. Unfortunately, it’s a bit RUFF! The gap is enormous, with minimal resources and opportunities that make it feel insurmountable. Our children (now young adults) transition from having an eight-hour school day with structure, support, education, encouragement, and community, to completely wrapping up their childhood (and all the services that come with it) on graduation day. It’s a bittersweet moment as we head home from that milestone of a day with an “at best’’ scenario of potentially a few hours a day of random, scattered opportunities.

8 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

I asked these questions about Marcus: • What does he love to do most?

• What makes him the happiest?

• What holds his attention for the longest period of time?

• What are some of his greatest strengths?

• What skills would I like him to learn?

• When does he feel most proud of himself?

• Who does he want to help or give back to?

• How does he express his creativity?

The answers to the questions above led us in a specific direction.

Marcus loves to color. From regular coloring books to adult coloring books, they all make him happy! Additionally, in high school, he would volunteer in the kid’s room and color with them. It brought him joy, and he would always come out of the art room beaming with pride.

Marcus also loves dogs. Though he is allergic to some breeds, that has never stopped him from wanting to help out in any way possible. Whether it is walking dogs at the animal shelter, donating to dog organizations, watching dog videos, or learning about different breeds, he is passionate about making a difference in the life of puppies everywhere.

This started our PAWsome thoughts flowing, wondering how we could combine his two greatest loves, add a component allowing him to give back to his precious pups, and sprinkle in learning some great life skills, all to create a model of purpose and meaningful opportunities for those with different abilities.

We’re proud to introduce you to Mission Marcus: Operation PAWsible—a website dedicated to Marcus and the dogs he loves! Because of Marcus’s medical issues, we had a website and social media that we regularly used to keep everyone close to us updated on his conditions. Since Marcus is rela-

SKILLS FOR LIFE

Mission Marcus: Operation PAWsible is less than a year old, and we are still in the process of making adjustments and tweaking things to see what works best! As with any new journey, we have learned by trial and error, been through a ton of revisions, and continue looking long-term at how we can get other differently-abled young adults involved in creating their own PAWsitive mission.

We have already accomplished exciting things during our first year, such as sending out cards and letters to family and friends, inviting them to get involved with us. Additionally, we sought out vendor booth opportunities to share his mission with others. We recently launched our new shopping page where supporters can get goodies for themselves and their pup along with some wonderful gifts for family and friends!

tively stable at this time, we decided to put a PAWsitive twist on the website and repurpose it for his new mission. For years, Marcus’s online following had supported him during his time of need, and now he would have the opportunity to pay it forward by leveraging the site to support his furry friends!

Marcus had an active role in creating the theme and logo, choosing his favorite real-life dogs to be his mascots. The concept is simple: for a small price, you can purchase a coloring “masterpiece” by Marcus, and a portion of the proceeds will support a dog charity.

Here’s how it works: Visit the site to contribute and choose which dog you would like to have colored just for you!

We have a workstation in our kitchen set up with everything Marcus needs to complete an order. When you place an order, we get an email notification, and Marcus starts the order fulfillment process by printing off the intake sheet. Next, he chooses the proper dog coloring sheet, colors the “masterpiece,” and writes you a special message. Then, he addresses and stamps the envelope. A few times a week, we head to the post office so he can drop each masterpiece in the mailbox.

He is so proud each time he drops off his mail! Once a month, he helps address the envelopes and mail out the donations to the chosen dog rescues and dog organizations.

An additional fun feature on the Mission Marcus website is the “Pup of the Week.” Anyone can nominate their dog by submitting a photo and explaining why their dog is PAWsome and should be featured!

Though I have to upload the photos, I read each submission to Marcus, and he picks who will be chosen as the pup of the week.

Though this model doesn’t solve all of the RUFF obstacles our young adults face as they bridge out of the school system, it does provide PAWsitive possibilities for exploring where your child’s abilities intersect with what they love to do. Mission Marcus has addressed one of our biggest goals—to see Marcus doing something that has great purpose and meaning to him and to give him something that is his, that he loves, and that he can find joy and community within. When I see him smiling, proud of his artwork and how he is helping his furry friends, that is true joy!

Tammy Flynn, The On-Air Advocate, is a mother of four with over 23 years of experience as a caregiver to her son with special needs. Acknowledging first-hand that there is a gap in auditory information, she launched The On-Air Advocate back in November of 2017 to provide a variety of education and support that can be accessed twenty-four-seven through the use of a weekly podcast, educational videos, classes, courses, and an online Facebook community. Flynn looks to take her listeners beyond the brochure to explore, educate, and bring clarity to community supports, resources, navigational tools, and planning strategies with impactful collaboration of individual stories and journeys that will not only educate but inspire.

Website: https://www.onairadvocate.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OnAirAdvocate/

MISSION MARCUS Website: www.MissionMarcus.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ missionmarcus2016/ Instagram: https://www.instagram. com/Mission__Marcus Twitter: twitter.com/Mission_Marcus

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 9

BEHAVIORAL HEALTH

Great Ways Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Can Support Anxiety and Depression

By Dr. Rachel Bédard, PhD AS A PARENT, YOU HAVE THE PRIVILEGE OF CHOOSING THE SUITABLE THERAPIES AND INTERVENTIONS FOR YOUR CHILD. WITH SO MANY OPTIONS FOR MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT AVAILABLE, THIS CAN CREATE QUITE THE QUANDARY. COGNITIVE-BEHAVIORAL THERAPY (CBT) IS A POPULAR INTERVENTION, HAS LOTS OF RESEARCH SUPPORT, AND CAN BE APPLIED TO MANY CLINICAL SITUATIONS, INCLUDING ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION.

10 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

BEHAVIORAL HEALTH

Let’s break down the clinical jargon into parenting language.

Cognitive: Analyzing how we think about things/problems/ successes.

• For example: “I can’t do this assignment, which means I can’t do math, which means I probably won’t graduate, which means I’ll never get a job. Aaagh!” OR: “I can’t believe I got an A. I bet it is a fluke. I’ll never pull that off again.”

• The cognitive portion of CBT is looking at the statements we all make to ourselves and seeing if they are true, accurate, if there is sufficient evidence to support them, or if they could use a little revision.

• I encourage my clients to think like editors or manuscript writers: what do you want your characters to say and do, and can you revise the language until it is a better match? More on that in a moment.

Behavior: Analyzing our behavioral choices and assessing if they are getting us where we want to be/meeting our goals.

• For example: “I’d like to learn to play guitar…but I never get around to sitting down with the guitar.” OR: “I’d like to have more friends…but I turn down social invitations.”

• The behavioral portion of CBT is looking at our behaviors and assessing if we are behaving in a manner that will allow us to achieve our goals.

• You might notice there is relatively little reference to emotion thus far. One of the (inaccurate!) critiques of

CBT is that it fails to address emotions. So. Not. True!

Look at any of the above examples, and you will quickly note that ANXIETY is probably one of the factors hampering success. Let’s talk about that!

Anxiety and CBT Most of my clients are highly anxious. Biologically, my clients (the best clients in town!) are gifted the genetics of anxiety and then have various life experiences that highlight and reinforce that anxiety. If we fail to address the anxiety, CBT really won’t work. We can, however, harness the power of CBT to look at anxiety. Let’s use an example from my teaching days.

Back in the day, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I taught a Research Methods class to undergraduate college students.

Pretty exciting, right? Research Methods was a (dry!) required course that scared the dickens out of students in the psych program. To alleviate anxiety, I would schedule a 20-question quiz on Chapter One, worth only one percent of the overall grade, so students could sample the type of questions and level of understanding I was hoping to impart. Without fail, most students would struggle on the quiz. Many students would end up in my office crying. The general theme was: “I failed this quiz, which means I will fail this class. If I fail this class, I cannot progress in my course of study. If I can’t do academics, I won’t graduate, and I’ll never amount to anything.

I’m going to end up jobless and living in my parents’ basement.” Dramatic much?

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 11

BEHAVIORAL HEALTH

combination of ANXIETY and how we talk to ourselves.

Let’s add that behavioral part back in.

Behavioral: To recap, we have an academically motivated student who just failed a quiz worth one percent of the overall grade and is now emotionally uncomfortable and anxious.

My go-to behavioral question is: What actions can you take to meet your goals?

• Get a tutor? Study? Assess which questions were challenging and why? Understand why some questions were answered correctly? Create a study plan that addresses the types of questions the instructor will be asking? Attend office hours? (Ha! Got you there! Almost no undergrad student will generate that idea!)

Alternately, what behaviors might prevent success?

• Panicking, dropping the class, avoiding the class, procrastinating on assignments, beating yourself up over a perceived failure that was designed as a learning experience.

Summary

See the place for CBT interventions there?

Cognitive: “I failed this quiz (true), which means I will fail this class (um, probably not). If I fail this class, I cannot progress in my course of study (maybe true, but the class can be retaken!). If I can’t do academics, I won’t graduate (wait, what?), and I’ll never amount to anything (now spiraling out of control and confusing worth and academics). I’m going to end up jobless and disappoint my parents (and now we are all crying).”

My go-to questions are: What is the evidence? What is the last factual statement? And where do we go from there?

• “I failed this quiz.” True fact. A quiz worth one percent of the grade, with the intention of helping you study better for an actual meaningful exam.

• The rest of the statements are driven by anxiety and need to be addressed, but probably are not true statements! And that is where CBT steps in: addressing the

While this is clearly a simplification of CBT, I get about a thousand words to cram in a couple of decades of experience as a CBT clinician. If you really want to get into the jargon of CBT, do an online search for “thinking errors” or “cognitive errors.”

You will quickly find several sites with lists of phrases like “black and white thinking,” “all or none,” “magnifying and minimizing,” and “catastrophizing,” all concepts I’ve referenced here. Jargon or no jargon, the concepts work.

Oh, and what’s the evidence that CBT works, you ask? Because of the ease of researching CBT (in contrast to some other approaches), there is substantial evidence that CBT is an effective treatment for anxiety, depression, and a host of other concerns. In long-term studies, CBT outperforms medication (because you get to keep the CBT skills, but the meds are discontinued…).

Other mental health interventions are also valid but warrant investigation as a parent. There is absolutely nothing worse (see, words to be revised by CBT!) than wasting your time, money, and energy on an intervention that doesn’t work. CBT: it’s everywhere, and you probably use these skills as a parent without even noticing!

Dr. Rachel Bédard, PhD, is a licensed psychologist living and working in Fort Collins, CO. She primarily works with teens and adults living with autism and states she has the best clients in town. She enjoys collaborating with others on projects, which has resulted in multiple books, presentations, and a very collaborative office space.

Website: www.DrRachelBedard.com

12 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

THERAPIES AND TREATMENTS

The Value of

Recreational Therapy Interventions for All Kids

By Hannah Lapomarda, CTRS, Rachel Broome, CTRS, Sydney Marguet, MS, CTRS, Caroline Clark, CTRS RECREATIONAL THERAPY INTERVENTIONS HAVE STARTED TO GAIN MORE PUBLIC ATTENTION AS A WAY TO IMPROVE THE OVERALL HEALTH AND WELL-BEING OF INDIVIDUALS, INCLUDING PEOPLE DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER (ASD). RECREATIONAL THERAPY FOCUSES ON IMPROVING THE COGNITIVE, PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, SOCIAL, AND SPIRITUAL DOMAINS OF AN INDIVIDUAL’S LIFE. SPECIFICALLY, RECREATIONAL THERAPY CAN HELP CHILDREN DIAGNOSED WITH ASD PROMOTE POSITIVE INTERACTIONS WITH PEERS WHILE ALSO IMPROVING THEIR SOCIALIZATION SKILLS, LIFE SKILLS, LEISURE EDUCATION, AND COMMUNICATION SKILLS. CHILDREN WITH ASD OFTEN HAVE SECONDARY DIAGNOSES, INCLUDING DEFICITS WHEN CREATING AND MAINTAINING INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS, HYPERACTIVITY, SLEEP DISORDERS, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, SENSORY PROCESSING DYSFUNCTION, COGNITIVE IMPAIRMENT, AND ENGAGING IN SELF-HARMING BEHAVIORS (PORTER, 2015).

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 13

THERAPIES AND TREATMENTS

F

or this reason, this article will highlight the value of recreational therapy for children with ASD, accompanied by suggestions of interventions you and your child could engage in, in an outpatient setting.

Before immersing ourselves in the many benefits these activities have for children and adolescents, it is essential to understand what recreational therapy is and how recreational activities are used to achieve specific goals. Recreational therapy is the utilization of evidenced-based leisure and recreation activities to address the assessed needs of individuals with particular illnesses or limiting conditions as a means to psychological and physical health, recovery, rehabilitation, and well-being. Recreational therapy includes a wide range of arts and crafts, hobbies, games, sports, and exercises used to stimulate creativity, develop new life skills (i.e., teamwork, participation, decision-making), all while having fun. Recre-

14 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

ational activities can be divided mainly into two categories: hobbies and individual/communal sports. Hobbies include everything from drawing and photography to collecting stamps or other objects and more. Individual sports, which may be indicated to avoid social-related stress, include activities like cross-country running, cycling, golf, horseback riding, swimming, or track, while team sports include baseball, basketball, soccer, and many more.

Recreational therapy provides many life-changing benefits for children with ASD and other varying disabilities or needs.

These benefits can be divided into four areas:

1

IMPROVE SOCIAL SKILLS

The greatest value recreational therapy provides is the development and improvement of social skills for kids, fostering the practice of both verbal and non-verbal communication

THERAPIES AND TREATMENTS

While children need to participate in recreational activities, it is also important to find the appropriate program and the suitable activity to fit each child’s unique preferences, interests, and skills. Choosing the best intervention can sometimes be overwhelming for parents, but the simplest and most effective method is to follow whatever makes your child happy. skills. Research has shown participating in recreation can help individuals with ASD develop social relationships and friendships (Potvin et al., 2008).

2

PROMOTE GREATER INDEPENDENCE

Participating in recreational therapy interventions can help children become more independent from their caregivers and create more opportunities to advocate for themselves and their interests. Recreation gives children the gateway to become involved and find their place in the community, making their own choices and ultimately increasing their autonomy.

3

BOOST SELF-ESTEEM AND CONFIDENCE

4

PROMOTE AND HELP MAINTAIN PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH

Being in a dynamic and safe setting gives children a boost in self-esteem and confidence in themselves and others. This boost helps to improve their quality of life in the long run. Moreover, learning leisure skills to use in recreational settings is a confidence booster alone!

Finally, regular involvement in leisure and sports activities improves mental and physical health in children. Recreational activities promote a healthy and active lifestyle, which often significantly boosts muscle strength, physical endurance, and fitness-related skills, such as coordination and balance, while participating in this type of program.

While children need to participate in recreational activities, it is also important to find the appropriate program and the suitable activity to fit each child’s unique preferences, interests, and skills. Choosing the best intervention can sometimes be overwhelming for parents, but the simplest and most effective method is to follow whatever makes your child happy. Even if sometimes it may be hard to give up control, in this situation, it is crucial for the child to guide the search for the activity. Communicating with your child to highlight their strengths and limitations will help guide the decision-making process and lead to better results.

Communication is key to creating a successful and enjoyable experience for both the child and the parents. While changes and transitions are not always easy for children with ASD, open and repeated communication about new activities to try, new places to visit, etc., can be helpful to prepare children for the change. It is also essential to keep open communication with coaches, instructors, and tutors of the chosen activities.

Be clear about your child’s strengths, limitations, and unique preferences. Finally, we encourage parents to stay positive, flexible, and always patient in order to create a positive learning environment.

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 15

THERAPIES AND TREATMENTS

Seeking help from a licensed Recreational Therapist (Certified Therapeutic Recreation Specialist, CTRS) can be beneficial to your child’s development over time.

Springbrook Autism Behavioral Health proudly offers recreational therapy interventions as one of the fundamental parts integrated within our therapy programs. Providing recreational therapy interventions can be seen as a central part of every child’s journey. At Springbrook, all children are given a daily opportunity to participate and engage in purposeful recreational therapy interventions that focus on a wide range of skills that

can be utilized once they have completed their treatment. The campus, located in Travelers Rest, South Carolina, offers the best opportunities for both outdoor and indoor leisure activities, in which the kids are able to boost their confidence, social skills, focus, and independence; these activities include many hikes in the surrounding areas in South and North Carolina, fishing exercises in the local pond, practice in the gym and baseball field, and swimming in an indoor heated pool.

To learn more about recreation for children with autism and the programs offered, visit the ABA Program at Springbrook.

RESOURCES Porter, H. R. (2015). Recreational Therapy for Specific Diagnoses and Conditions. Enumclaw, WA: Idyll Arbor.

Potvin, M. C., Prelock, P. A., & Snider, L. (2008). Collaborating to support meaningful participation in recreational activities of children with autism spectrum disorder. Topics in Language Disorders, 28(4), 365-374.

Scott, Jason; Wozencroft, Angela; Nocera, Vincenzo; Webb, Kelsey; Anderson, Jodi; Blankenburg, Avery; Watson, Darrien; and Lowe, Sophie (2020) “Aquatic Therapy Interventions and Disability: A Recreational Therapy Perspective,” International Journal of Aquatic Research and Education: Vol. 12: No. 3, Article 5. DOI: https://doi.org/10.25035/ijare.12.03.05 Available at: https://scholarworks.bgsu.edu/ijare/vol12/iss3/5 Bell, Alexis; Palace, Kelly; Allen, Morgan; Nelson, Rhonda (2016) “Using Martial Arts to Address Social and Behavioral Functioning Children and Adolescents with Autism Spectrum Disorders.” Therapeutic Recreation Journal. 50(2) DOI:10.18666/TRJ-2016-V50-I2-7287. Available at: https://sites.temple.edu/rtwiseowls/files/2016/01/using-martial-arts-to-address-social-and-behavioral-functioning-in-children-adolescentswith-autism-spectrum-disorders_final_accepted.pdf Stuhl, Amanda; Porter, Heather (2015). “Riding the Waves: Therapeutic Surfing to Improve Social Skills for Children with Autism.” Therapeutic Recreation Journal. 49(3):253-256. Available at: https://sites.temple.edu/rtwiseowls/files/2015/08/riding-the-waves_final.pdf. https://scholarworks.bgsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1559&context=ijare https://sites.temple.edu/rtwiseowls/files/2016/01/using-martial-arts-to-address-social-and-behavioral-functioning-in-children-adolescentswith-autism-spectrum-disorders_final_accepted.pdf https://sites.temple.edu/rtwiseowls/files/2015/08/riding-the-waves_final.pdf https://springbrookautismbehavioral.com/recreational-therapy-for-autism-at-springbrook/

Hannah Lapomarda, CTRS, is a Certified Therapeutic Recreation Specialist who graduated from Clemson University in 2019.

She specializes in the treatment of individuals with mental and physical health conditions, as well as varying intellectual disabilities.

She recently obtained the title of the Low Functioning Clinical Lead, where she will oversee planning, training, and implementation of daily programming on the low functioning units at Springbrook.

Rachel Broome, CTRS, is a Recreational Therapist at Springbrook Autism Behavioral Health who is currently working with the Acute Program. She graduated with her BS in Recreational Therapy from Clemson University. She is currently pursuing her MS in Recreational Therapy from Clemson University as well, with her research focusing on the benefits of yoga being implemented in criminal justice facilities in the United States. In her free time, she enjoys listening to various podcasts, including Crime Junkies and Ear Hustle.

16 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

Sydney Marguet, MS, CTRS, is a Recreational Therapist at Springbrook Autism Behavioral Health who is currently working with the Adult Program. She graduated with her BS in Recreation Management with a minor in Nonprofit Management from Appalachian State University in 2017. Sydney went on to earn her MS in Recreational Therapy from Indiana University. Sydney has worked in long-term care, parks and recreation, MWR (military recreation), and the behavioral health setting. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, painting, and spending time with her family.

Caroline Clark, CTRS, is a Recreational Therapist at Springbrook Autism Behavioral who specializes in the treatment of individuals with mental health illnesses and behavioral challenges. She possesses a BS in Psychology and a BS in Recreational Therapy from Clemson University. She is a Certified Therapeutic Recreational Specialist (CTRS). Caroline is the developer of Springbrook’s first sensory water slide and one of the facilitators of the aqua-therapy program.

Kate Makes it Great!

PARENTAL SUPPORT

Expert Advice on Preparing for Tomorrow with Exceptional Needs

By Kate C. Wilde

HELLO, EVERYONE! AS THIS MONTH’S ISSUE IS EXPLORING THE ADVENTURE OF HELPING OUR LOVED ONES AS THEY TRANSITION INTO ADULTHOOD, I HAVE SELECTED QUESTIONS FROM PARENTS OF TEENAGERS AND ADULTS. I’VE HAD THE GOOD FORTUNE TO WORK DIRECTLY WITH TONS OF ADULTS AND TEENAGERS ON THE SPECTRUM, AND I AM ALWAYS STRUCK BY THEIR SWEETNESS, THEIR DIGNITY, AND THEIR NEVER-ENDING DESIRE TO GROW AND CHANGE. SO I OFFER A SINCERE THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HAVE SENT IN QUESTIONS. IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR LOVED ONE ON THE SPECTRUM, ANY QUESTIONS AT ALL, SEND THEM TO SUBMISSIONS@EXCEPTIONALNEEDSTODAY.COM.

I

na from Singapore asks, “My son is 20 years old; he is non-verbal. He has epilepsy and autism. Is it possible for him to change and grow, or is his growth over now?”

Ina, I am so glad you are thinking and wondering about that.

The answer, in a nutshell, is a resounding yes! Yes, he can grow and change. Research tells us the brain is plastic and ever-changing. Not just for our special children in their 20s,

but for all people, even for adults in their 90s. It is never too late for anyone. Some of you reading this may think, “But my doctor said my child/adult has gone as far as they can,” or, “My child’s psychologist said they just do not have the desire to grow.” These things are said all the time about our special children, but just because it has been said does not make it true. Let the following stories be an inspiration for what could be possible for your child/adult going forward.

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 17

PARENTAL SUPPORT

What these young adults have in common are parents, professionals, and caregivers who had the attitude and belief that it is never too late. is never too late. Armed with that belief, they offered opportunities to their young adults to continue to grow and learn.

Then it was up to them to do the work; in the case of Jarir, Samantha, and Frank, they gladly did. So, go for it, Ina! Susan from the United Kingdom asks, “My daughter is 28; she is on the spectrum and highly verbal. She really wants more of a social life. I really feel for her and want to help her with this. How can I help her with this?”

Hi Susan, it is so wonderful you want to help your daughter with this. Here are three easy steps you can start right away that will greatly assist her.

Jarir was 33 years old when his mom decided to take him out of the residential institution he was living in. At that time, he talked sparingly, using only one word at a time. He spoke only when prompted, never spontaneously. He would often lash out at others. He preferred to be alone and stimmed for most of his day. After taking him out of the institution, his mom implemented a Son-Rise Program® for him, and 18 months later, his growth was breathtaking. He spontaneously spoke in five-to-six-word long sentences in a very communicative way.

He stimmed only 10 to 20 percent of his day, displayed no aggressive behaviors, and loved engaging with others. I worked personally with Jarir and saw his clear drive and determination to grow. He taught me a lot about resilience and was just a pleasure to be with.

Samantha, at age 27, defied her caregivers’ definition of what was possible for her by learning to boulder at a local climbing wall.

After being non-verbal for the first 20 years of his life, Frank learned to communicate verbally. He is currently using sentences up to 10 words long! Wow! This defied his doctors and therapists’ prognoses! His dad told me just the other day that although Frank has been talking for the last five years, he has never stopped seeing it for the miracle it is. He also said it was worth waiting the 20 years to hear his son’s voice and thoughts.

What these young adults have in common are parents, professionals, and caregivers who had the attitude and belief that it

18 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

1. Being interested in another’s interest is a foundation skill to building friendships. You can show her how to do this by modeling it yourself. Take genuine notice of her interests. Sincerely ask her about the things she likes. Actively take part in what she likes to do. If she likes to read, read with her. If she likes to draw, draw alongside her. If she likes to talk about weather patterns or Star Trek, get curious and interested in talking about weather patterns and Star Trek. Show her you are thinking about her. You could say, “I listened to a radio show the other day about thunderstorms, and they said this cool fact about storms.”

2. Roleplay with her. I have found this to be very effective with the adults I work with and can be really fun. For instance, you can roleplay how she may start a conversation with someone. Give her a few starter lines, then play the person with whom she starts a conversation. One of your roleplays could be meeting a friend at a coffee shop.

Once you have ordered your coffee and found a table, what do you say? There are three things you usually do in a conversation. First, ask a question. Then, comment on what the person has just said (for example, “I like that,” or, “That sounds like fun,” or, “Oh, scary!”). Thirdly, add a related story into the conversation (for instance, if the person went on a camping holiday, you may share a camping or vacation story of your own).

3. My hunch is that your daughter probably has a challenge with parts two and three. So those would be good to practice in the roleplay. The important point is

PARENTAL SUPPORT

not to make it too serious. Have fun and celebrate all her attempts.

4. Sign her up for a class or activity in something she already likes. It is often less socially stressful when there is a structure and activity to do. It will help her find like-minded people and give her a chance to practice what you are helping her with in your roleplays together.

Dan from Florida, USA, asks, “I have a teenager who is 16 years old. He is highly verbal but has lots of challenges socially. In the last few months, he has made friends online who are also on the spectrum. Unfortunately, he and his peers have gone down the road of thinking neurotypical people suck, I mean really suck. He says things like, “I only like neurodiverse people in my life as they are only people who understand me.” I am glad he has made friends, and I don’t mind this for now, but when he is 18, he will need to make his way in a neurotypical world. What can I do to turn this around, so he also starts to like neurotypical people?”

Instead, become really interested in his friends and his point of view. Ask him why he thinks neurodiverse people are better and that neurotypical people suck. You will probably learn a lot about how he is feeling and experiencing his life and how he is putting things together. All of this will help you get closer to him and know how to help him. Then playfully (in a kind of cheeky, camaraderie way) point out when someone who is neurotypical does something really cool and wonderful for him. For example, if his mom just cooked him his favorite dinner, you could say, “Hey (with a big cheeky grin on your face), I guess neurotypical people have their uses after all.” Do this sparingly at key moments when something really wonderful has happened.

Thank you all for reaching out, and I wish everyone and their situations the best. Send in questions to submissions@exceptionalneedstoday.com.

Hello Dan, what an interesting question! I love that you can appreciate and see he is making friends. It must be a liberating experience for him to find and bond with people who see the world in a similar way as him. We can bond very fast when we meet people who have the same challenges we do.

I think this is great for him, something we want to encourage while at the same time discouraging his creation of an “us versus them” mindset. As you say, you have a couple of years before he turns 18 and goes out into the wider world, so we have time to take some gentle steps in that direction. It is important he does not feel pushed to like neurotypicals and that he feels understood. I would suggest you do not criticize his friendships or argue with his perception that neurotypical people suck. This will only alienate him and put him in the position to defend himself. It may even prove his point.

IN SEARCH OF PERSONALIZED EXPERT GUIDANCE? Send us your parenting questions, woes, concerns, and tricky situations with your beautiful, exceptional children. This includes all you amazing professionals out there. Kate will answer up to five questions in every issue in her Kate Makes it Great! column. Kate has worked with children and adults on the spectrum for the past 30 years. She has clocked more than 20,000 therapy hours and has worked with well over 1,500 different children. Whatever you are facing today, Kate has most likely experienced it in some form. Her answers will be practical, doable, inspiring, optimistic, down to earth, and real. Together there is nothing we cannot face with a little joy and love.

Submit your questions to

submissions@exceptionalneedstoday.com Kate C. Wilde has spent the past 30 years working with children and adults on the autism spectrum and their families, as well as with therapists, educators, and schools. She is the author of the acclaimed books, Autistic Logistics: A Parent’s Guide to Tackling Bedtime, Toilet Training, Tantrums, Hitting, and Other Everyday Challenges and The Autism Language Launcher: A Parent’s Guide to Helping Your Child Turn Sounds and Words Into Simple Conversations, and is renowned for the well-attended courses she teaches throughout the US, Europe, and Asia. Her YouTube autism quick tip videos, delivered with her trademark infectious enthusiasm, have garnered a following worldwide.

Website: https://www.katecwilde.com/

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 19

MY WORD

Sharing and Learning About

Dyspraxic Motherhood

By Dr. Catherine Molyneaux, PhD

THERE HAS BEEN ENCOURAGING GROWTH IN AWARENESS OF AND IDENTIFICATION OF DYSPRAXIA (SOMETIMES REFERRED TO AS DELAYED COORDINATION DISORDER) WITHIN CHILDHOOD AND YOUTH POPULATIONS IN RECENT YEARS. AS AN ACADEMIC, I ENCOUNTER MANY STUDENTS AT UNIVERSITY WHO IDENTIFY AS DYSPRAXIC/HAVING DYSPRAXIA.

20 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

MY WORD

I

ndeed, there is a debate about how to name these students—a debate which originated and has been well articulated within the autistic community by those who argue autism is not something to “have” or to bring along with you, but something that is an essential part of who you are. I tend to agree with this view, describing myself as being dyspraxic, although I do recognize alternative positions. For the purpose of this article, I will be naming the community to which I refer as the dyspraxic community.

While our knowledge about the incidence and experience of dyspraxic childhood is expanding, less is known about dyspraxic adults. I often use this quote from Charles Taylor in my classes on sociology and childhood studies: “[it is] fundamental that we can flourish only to the extent that we are recognized.” It prompts me to ask, how are dyspraxic mothers recognized in society, and are they provided with the conditions to flourish? I set up dyspraxicmotherhood.com to bring together stories and share research on the experience of parenting and having dyspraxia. I was formally diagnosed with dyspraxia at 37, and I became a mother at 38 years of age.

Dyspraxia is a life-long condition that affects coordination.

I choose to name myself a dyspraxic mother because dyspraxia is a part of who I am, affecting my physicality, energy levels, creativity, and ways of planning and organizing—key elements in the management of day-to-day life. Dyspraxia is a hidden disability that hasn’t stopped me in my progress at work or as a mother, but it certainly has had an impact. My accomplishments have required heavy doses of patience, creativity, and persistence on my part to overcome the challenges being dyspraxic presents.

disability which worked well for me. These strategies were put to the test and found wanting when my baby arrived and presented different challenges. Managing dyspraxia and parenting made heavy demands on my energy and my childrearing strategies. Parenting is a physical process characterized by lack of sleep in the early days, and this reality presented its trials I addressed alone in the absence of a community of dyspraxic mothers to turn to. I credit many of my strengths to being dyspraxic too. I have been driven to find workarounds and novel ways to approach and solve the situations I confront as a consequence of being dyspraxic, and as a consequence, I have developed a whole set of skills I can put into action to support and care for my child.

I talk about the ways in which parenthood brings new demands which increase our emotional, mental, and physical loads in my website’s blog. Before becoming a parent, I had found my own ways to adapt in order to accommodate my

I have been driven to find workarounds and novel ways to approach and solve the situations I confront as a consequence of being dyspraxic, and as a consequence, I have developed a whole set of skills I can put into action to support and care for my child.

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 21

MY WORD

I never discussed my dyspraxia with my midwives, obstetrician, or public health nurses during my own pregnancy, although I should have. I would like to invite these professionals into the conversation about dyspraxic pregnancy.

My own experience led me to recognize it is time to share and learn about the realities of dyspraxic motherhood. Some of this work is already happening on blogs and social media. There is a gap to be filled by bringing information sharing for mums together (research, blogs, reviews, surveys). I am an academic teaching sociology, social research, and childhood studies at a university in Ireland. I teach my students about positionality: what it means to be an insider in research. I am an insider because I am dyspraxic, but my experience will not be the same as other mothers’ experiences. I would like to hear from mothers of different ages, religions, and nationalities in order to develop our knowledge of the diversity of experience in this area. I plan to contribute to the research space on dyspraxic motherhood and would love to hear from dyspraxic mothers, wherever you may live, about what you are going through. I will be providing links to surveys on this topic at dyspraxicmotherhood.com.

Current statistics on the incidence of dyspraxia within the general population place it between five percent and 10 percent. There are many dyspraxic adults who have never been formally diagnosed because the profile and awareness of dyspraxia have only really grown in recent years, and there was less dyspraxic awareness when they were children. If the ma-

jority of today’s dyspraxic community of children and young people, who are diagnosed and/or do identify as dyspraxic, go on to become parents, they will ask questions about the relationship between dyspraxia and parenting. The realities of dyspraxic parenting urgently need to be explored, researched, and discussed. If you would like to be part of that conversation, I’d be delighted to chat by email.

REFERENCES Taylor, C. ‘The politics of recognition in Gutmann, A., ed., (1994) Multiculturalism: Examining the Politics of Recognition, New Jersey: Princeton University Press.

Dr. Catherine Molyneaux, PhD is a dyspraxic mother and a sociologist. She teaches Sociology, Social Policy, and Social Research for childhood and graduate studies programs at Munster Technological University.

She holds a BA in Drama and Sociology from Trinity College Dublin, an MSc in Equality Studies from University College Dublin, and a Doctorate in Governance from Queen’s University Belfast. She is the editor of dyspraxicmotherhood.com and can be contacted by email.

Email: catherine@dyspraxicmotherhood.com

Most approaches to enabling children with autism to speak either don’t work or alienate the child…or both. The Autism Language Launcher gives you something totally new: a step-by-step guide that ignites language lift-off by:

ilde

Kate C. W

 Tapping into your child’s innate intelligence (often unrecognized by others)  Going with your child instead of against your child  Building the relationship necessary to inspire your child to want to communicate  Giving you the tools instead of outsourcing them to someone who doesn’t care as much as you do  Providing techniques that work with adults on the spectrum, too!

If you are a parent, relative, professional, educator, or caregiver of a child or adult who is: not yet verbal, making some sounds, using some words, speaking in single words, or using two-word phrases, then this book is for you. In a caring, understanding, and deeply supportive way, author Kate C. Wilde uses her decades of experience with children and adults on the spectrum to show you how to break through and finally enable your child to:  Begin speaking and communicating  Build their vocabulary…willingly  Expand sounds into words and words into phrases  Ask and answer questions  Construct their own original sentences (rather than simply repeating rote phrases)  Share their thoughts In addition, you’ll learn to effectively address your child’s echolalia, repetitious language, and repetitive questions (without scolding your child, stopping your child, or “doing battle” with your child) in a way that your child will find supportive, bonding, and even joyful.

Buy it on Amazon

22 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

A Parent’s Guide to Helping Your Child Turn Sounds and Words into Simple Conversations

hat we w is h t ’t n Is r our all want fo ids? precious k

LEARNING STRATEGIES

Supercharge Your Exceptional Needs Child’s Screen Time with Video Modeling

By Dr. Maria Gilmour, PhD, BCBA-D, LBA, Kelly Stafford, MA, BCBA, LBA, Inga Siler, MS, CCC-SLP, and Lauren Kline, MS, BCBA, LBA VIDEO MODELING IS THE EASIEST AND MOST DIRECT WAY TO LEARN NEW SKILLS. WE ARE EXPOSED TO VIDEO MODELING EVERY DAY THROUGH PLATFORMS SUCH AS YOUTUBE OR TIKTOK. FROM TRAINING A PUPPY, LEARNING TO DANCE, PULLING A CAR TRANSMISSION, OR EVEN PERFORMING SURGERY, JUST ABOUT EVERY SKILL CAN BE IMPROVED THROUGH SHORT, TARGETED VIDEOS.

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 23

LEARNING STRATEGIES

Visual learning—Video modeling is another term for “visual learning,” but with video. Can you imagine learning how to do the chicken dance through written instructions? Try this: The chicken dance consists of the following moves four times each and repeating the sequence with the music: flap your bent elbows up and down, wiggle your hips back and forth while bending your knees, stand up straight and with bent elbows, bring your hands up to mimic a chomping motion with fingers and thumbs, ending with clapping hands.

Did you get all that? Whether learning to dance or learning a language, video modeling is effective for many learners, especially children with developmental disabilities and autism spectrum disorder (ASD). One advantage is that videos are simple to implement and repeat. Today, tablets and phones turn every setting into an impromptu classroom—in the car, in a waiting room, or before meals or bedtime.

Researchers looking for the most effective evidence-based practices point to video modeling as being effective across a variety of ages and in nearly every outcome area—social skills, activities of daily living, language/communication, play skills, vocational skills, and behavior. 1

Here are four reasons why video modeling works with learners with exceptionalities: 1. Individuals with exceptionalities often enjoy videos and screen time, giving video modeling a built-in advantage as a preferred mode of learning over other forms of instruction.

2. Videos can edit out distractions. Real-life environments can be overstimulating compared to watching a video that can remove a visual or audio background.

3. Individuals with exceptionalities often focus on irrelevant cues and miss the relevant ones. Videos can zero in on the relevant information.

4. Videos are easily repeated, which allows an individual to watch the same teaching scenario multiple times.

Gemiini’s Discrete Video Modeling (DVM) cuts out the visual distractions, allowing the student to focus on one “learning byte” at a time. A student might struggle to extract “discrete” bits of meaning from the teacher’s stream of spoken language in a conventional classroom setting. DVM removes visual and auditory distractions and isolates each word or concept into understandable and digestible components of knowledge.

Video modeling supports collaboration

What does video modeling look like?

A complex condition like ASD requires a collaborative process from many stakeholders, all working toward a common purpose. Unlike a conventional medical diagnosis, ASD casts a wide net to assemble an integrated team that includes the patient, family network, clinicians, therapists, teachers, additional caretakers, and support services. Unlike conventional medicine, few families have a case manager who coordinates all these stakeholders, and no electronic medical record tracks each struggle and success.

There are a wide variety of ways to implement video modeling into your child’s therapy. The ease of smartphone cameras allows one child to video another—for example, tying a shoe.

A parent or teacher can create a video to support a lesson— for example, counting objects. The child can even create their own videos, like filming insects and the journey they take in the backyard.

Video modeling offers a common touchpoint for the team.

Suppose a child is working on a language, behavioral, or social skill. In that case, the video provides a guidepost that the speech-language pathologist and occupational therapist can use to set specific targets. This might be as informal as the language pathologist saying, “Johnny, show me the video you’re working on with Ms. Sally [the occupational therapist].”

Professional video modeling curriculums add clinical rigor and pedagogical structure to the learning process. Gemiini Systems, a leading video modeling program, helps parents and therapists determine the correct curriculum, implement a program, track progress, and receive consultation and support.

When the support team participates in the video lesson, the child has more opportunities to practice the targeted skills.

More importantly, the videos support generalization. The learning isn’t limited to the session; it can carry over into other activities and settings.

24 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

LEARNING STRATEGIES

When an individual is practicing a new skill in the same way with different providers, it helps to strengthen the usefulness of that skill and provides more opportunities for that skill to be readily available for the learner.

3. Go on a word hunt Send your child into the house, backyard, or neighborhood to film words they know—for example, bugs, plants, cars, trucks, or toys while speaking the names.

Building video modeling into your day

4. Prepare for new activities When new experiences are impending, personal clips can help prepare for new activities and reduce anxiety.

Before the first day of school, visit the child’s classroom and record where they will sit, the hook for their coat, the bathroom, playground, and cafeteria. Rehearse the videos in a comfortable environment to prepare them for their new activity or change in routine.

The beauty of video modeling is how easy it can fit into downtimes, like riding in the car or waiting for an appointment. The challenge with video modeling is that we want our kids—and ourselves—to spend less time on screens, not more. For this reason, think of video modeling as a constructive substitute for the time your child spends on games or entertainment.

Using videos from a professional curriculum or creating your own can keep the videos fresh and engaging.

5. Motivate speech by making the child the “star” Many kids like seeing themselves on the screen and connect more in videos where they appear. Adding clips of your child being silly or playing is a terrific way to increase engagement and motivate speech. Who doesn’t love a quick break from learning by seeing a short clip of themselves sticking out their tongue?!

Get started with homemade video modeling Personalized videos are often the most effective in teaching specific skills. For example, watching a video of a mom making a sandwich can be more engaging than watching a model or an actor performing the same task. Here are some ways to incorporate homemade videos into your routine: 1. Teach children to say their names and the names of family members Film a short clip of your child and articulate their name while filming. Do the same for mom, dad, siblings, grandparents, friends, teachers, or therapists.

2. Talk about objects in your child’s environment Some children are excited to talk about their personal belongings: the bed they sleep in, the shoes they wear, or the pet they love. What does your child spend the most time engaging with? Whether you create your own videos or if you use Gemiini, you can pair your homemade videos with language clips of the same word.

Dr. Maria Gilmour, PhD, BCBA-D, LBA is a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst at the doctoral level and a Licensed Behavior Analyst working in Oregon and Washington. Dr. Gilmour has 21 years of experience working in the field of autism, behavior disorders, traumatic brain injury, and ABA. She became the Chief Clinical Officer of Gemiini Systems in 2015 and is the owner and Chief Executive Officer of Wynne Solutions Behavior Services.

Inga Siler, MS, CCC-SLP, is a Speech-Language Pathologist with 16 years of experience in school and private practice settings. Inga used video modeling with students on her school caseload before joining Gemiini Systems, where Inga is the Speech-Language Pathologist Clinical Coordinator.

Since our screens aren’t going away, let’s capitalize on the benefits of having video tools at our fingertips. Video modeling gives parents of kids with developmental disabilities a way to make that screen time “supercharged.” Laura Kasbar, Gemiini’s founder, discovered the impact of discrete video modeling while observing her kids. “When I saw all six of my children glued to the television, I couldn’t tell which were the autistic ones,” Laura explained. “That’s when I realized that discrete video modeling could engage the learning capacity of autistic children in a way that other forms of therapy could not.”

REFERENCES 1

https://ncaep.fpg.unc.edu/sites/ncaep.fpg.unc.edu/files/imce/ documents/EBP%20Report%202020.pdf

ior Services.

Kelly Stafford, MA, BCBA, LBA is a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst licensed in Oregon and Washington. She worked in a private special education school setting for six years before switching to a clinical setting in 2019. Kelly is a Lead Board Certified Behavior Analyst at Gemiini Systems and Wynne Solutions Behav-

Lauren Kline, MS, BCBA, LBA, is a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst licensed in Arizona and Texas.

She has experience in the clinical setting working with individuals with autism as well as applying Applied Behavior Analytic services to diverse health needs. Lauren is a Lead Board-Certified Behavior Analyst at Gemiini Systems.

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 25

EXCEPTIONAL BOOKS

Navigating Autism:

9 Mindsets for Helping Kids on the Spectrum Temple Grandin and Debra Moore’s new strategies for empowering kids on the spectrum

By Temple Grandin, PhD and Debra Moore, PhD International best-selling writer and autist Temple Grandin joins psychologist Debra Moore in presenting nine strengths-based mindsets for successfully working with young people on the autism spectrum. Examples and stories bring the approaches to life, and detailed suggestions and checklists help readers put them to practical use.

Temple Grandin shares her own personal experiences and anecdotes from parents and professionals who have sought her advice, while Debra Moore draws on more than three decades of work as a psychologist with kids on the spectrum and those who love and care for them. So many people support the lives of these kids, and this book is for all of them: teachers, special education staff, mental health clinicians, physical, occupational, and speech therapists; parents; and anyone interacting with autistic children or teens.

Readers will come away with new, empowering mindsets they can apply to develop the full potential of every child.

TO PURCHASE: https://wwnorton.com/rd/autism Temple Grandin is a professor of Animal Science at Colorado State University. She had no language until age four, and good teachers and her mother helped her develop her strengths. She has a successful career as both a designer of livestock handling systems and as a scientific researcher. She also lectures widely on her experiences with autism.

Psychologist Debra Moore has worked extensively with autistic individuals of all ages and their families. She believes in focusing on strengths and interests and fostering confidence and potential. She currently devotes her time to writing. This is her second collaboration with Dr. Temple Grandin, previously coauthoring The Loving Push: How Parents and Professionals Can Help Spectrum Kids Become Successful Adults.

Learn more about Navigating Autism: 9 Mindsets for Helping Kids on the Spectrum at wwnorton.com/rd/autism Connect with Norton Mental Health on social media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NortonMentalHealth Twitter: https://twitter.com/wwnortonMH YouTube: Youtube.com/nortonmentalhealth

26 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 ADVERTISEMENT

BEHAVIORAL HEALTH

What You Need to Know About the Signs and Symptoms of

By J. Edwards Holt

ADHD

IF YOUR CHILD IS HAVING DIFFICULTY IN SCHOOL BECAUSE OF A SHORT ATTENTION SPAN AND HYPERACTIVITY, YOU MAY BE WONDERING IF THEY HAVE ATTENTION-DEFICIT/HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER (ADHD) OR ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER (ADD). THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW FOR SURE IS TO SEE A DOCTOR, BUT YOU CAN LOOK FOR THE SIGNS OF ADHD TO KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME TO GET CHECKED.

S

o, what is ADHD or ADD? This article will discuss the ADHD symptoms and what you need to understand about the commonly misunderstood condition.

What is ADHD or ADD? As previously mentioned, ADHD stands for attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder. It was previously known as ADD, or attention deficit disorder. It’s a common disorder that affects about 8.4 percent of children and 2.5 percent of adults. It’s typically characterized by inattentiveness or hyperactivity.

Sometimes those who deal with ADHD deal with both of those things, but that isn’t always the case.

Most people associate ADHD with school-aged children because hyperactive symptoms are more common and easier to identify at a young age. Those who experience ADHD have so much hyperactivity and lack of attentiveness that it causes problems functioning at school, home, or with friends.

How to identify the symptoms and signs of ADHD Inattentiveness and hyperactivity are the two main behavior problems associated with ADHD. Sometimes it’s a blend of the two symptoms, and sometimes they experience both.

Children and adults often have similar ADHD symptoms. In children, you can usually identify the symptoms when they’re at home or school.

If your child deals with inattentiveness, it may look like this: • Making careless mistakes in schoolwork • Being easily distracted and having a short attention span • Unable to complete tasks that are tedious or time-consuming • Losing things and being forgetful • Unable to listen to or carry out instructions • Constantly changing activities or tasks

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 27

BEHAVIORAL HEALTH

Hyperactivity and impulsiveness are often used interchangeably when dealing with ADHD. If your child suffers from these, it may look like this: • Talking excessively • Unable to sit still • Talking or acting without thinking • Constantly interrupting conversations • Unable to concentrate on tasks • Constantly fidgeting • Little to no sense of danger ADHD symptoms may make it difficult for children to do well in school and cause poor social interaction. These children may also have persistent problems with discipline.

Some children grow out of their ADHD symptoms, but some carry them through teenage years and adulthood. About 15 percent of people who were diagnosed with ADHD as children experience all the symptoms, while 65 percent still have some symptoms.

It’s much less likely an adult will be diagnosed because their symptoms are harder to identify. They’re more subtle, and adults may not realize their symptoms are related to ADHD. Adults with ADHD may: • Drive recklessly and get into accidents • Have trouble juggling adult responsibilities • Have marital problems • Be very easily distractible • Have lots of misunderstandings due to poor listening skills • Have difficulty concentrating • Be constantly forgetful

Why it’s important to understand ADHD ADHD can make life very difficult for the children and adults in your life. It’s one of the most common childhood disorders, with over 10 million people in the U.S. diagnosed. Even so, there is so much misinformation spread through the media and the internet.

Understanding ADHD will help correct misconceptions and dissolve stigmas around it.

One of the myths surrounding ADHD is that it isn’t real. ADHD is real, and it affects the individual’s brain on a neurological level. Individuals can’t simply choose not to have symptoms.

However, it is their responsibility to learn how to manage them.

Another misconception is that ADHD is a result of bad parenting. There’s a strong genetic link in ADHD, meaning it may not be related to parenting or the environment at all. Good par-

28 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

enting can certainly help the child manage symptoms better, but it won’t stop ADHD from occurring. On a similar note, bad parenting may make symptoms worse but won’t be the root cause of ADHD. A popular misunderstanding about ADHD is that almost anyone can be diagnosed with ADHD since the list of behaviors is so expansive that many people exhibit them at some point.

But having the symptoms is just part of getting diagnosed with ADHD. When diagnosed properly, these symptoms must be longterm, usually lasting at least six months, and the individual must experience them every day. Symptoms must be severe enough they significantly impact work, school, family, or friend relationships. All other causes of the symptoms must be ruled out. Only then should an ADHD diagnosis be made.

Ways to manage ADHD Those with ADHD may opt for treatment to help relieve their symptoms and have fewer problems in their day-to-day life.

Treatment for ADHD includes medicine or therapy, and many people find a combination of both works best.

BEHAVIORAL HEALTH

Medicines are not a permanent cure for ADHD, but they help those who suffer feel better, calmer, less impulsive, and they may be able to learn and practice new skills. The specialist can create a treatment plan and will schedule check-ups to ensure the treatment is working.

The specialist may prescribe: • Methylphenidate • Lisdexamfetamine • Dexamfetamine • Atomoxetine • Guanfacine Many individuals seek therapy treatment to learn how to manage their symptoms better. Some therapies recommended to treat ADHD are: • Psychoeducation • Behavior therapy • Parent training • Social skills training • Cognitive behavioral therapy

“Thank you for picking up your room; it looks so tidy now.” In the future, they’ll remember what you appreciated and why.

• Give an incentive You may consider setting up a point system to earn a privilege. This may be a shopping trip or extra time on a favorite game. Let your child decide what they want so they’ll be motivated to behave well.

• Exercise Playing, walking, and other physical activities will help your active child be tired enough to sleep at night. Just be sure that physical activity or excitement isn’t too close to bedtime.

• Communicate with teachers Children with ADHD tend to have problems at school.

Spend some time communicating with your child’s teachers about their needs. If they need extra support, request it.

If you have a child dealing with ADHD, remember they cannot control their symptoms. It can be especially difficult for children to behave when they have difficulty suppressing impulses or paying attention.

Luckily, anyone who deals with ADHD symptoms can learn to manage and be successful. If you take the time to understand ADHD, you’ll be able to get your child the help they need.

As a parent, it can be very difficult to parent a child with ADHD. If this is your situation, here are some ways you can help manage your child’s symptoms.

REFERENCES “ADHD Health Center.” https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/default. htm

• Set a schedule Many children benefit from a clear schedule. Your child with ADHD may behave better if they know what to expect. Set the same schedule for every day, so they know exactly what to do.

“What is ADHD?” https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ adhd/what-is-adhd

• Set boundaries Follow through with boundaries. Reinforce positive behavior by giving them lots of praise or rewards, and use consequences when boundaries are overstepped.

Consistent parenting will help your child understand what’s expected of them.

“Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.” ncbddd/adhd/facts.html#Causes

“Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.” https://www.nhs. uk/conditions/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/ symptoms/ https://www.cdc.gov/

“General Prevalence of ADHD.” https://chadd.org/about-adhd/ general-prevalence/ “The Importance of ADHD Awareness.” https://www.verywellmind. com/the-importance-of-adhd-awareness-20474

• Be positive Be very specific about what you’re happy about. Stay away from general phrases like, “Good job,” and try J. Edwards Holt is an American author who has spent a lifetime dealing with mental health problems. Diagnosed with Tourette’s syndrome, anxiety, and depression at 10 years old, and later OCD and ADHD at 13, success has never come easy for him. After spending most of elementary and middle school isolated, in and out of therapy, Holt managed to turn things around and graduate high school as Valedictorian, later on graduating college with a major in education. Even today as a successful author, Holt still copes with symptoms of his illnesses. Because of this, he is a continued advocate for those struggling with mental health, incorporating bits and pieces of his own experiences in his written works.

Website: jedwardsholt.com

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 29

COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES

Three Tips for Helping an Exceptional Child Communicate About Their Day at School

30 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES

By Jessica Leichtweisz, MPS

ONE OF THE MOST CHALLENGING THINGS FOR ANY PARENT IS WHEN A CHILD CANNOT COMMUNICATE WHAT HAPPENED DURING THE SCHOOL DAY. THIS MEANS YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TAKE WHATEVER INFORMATION IS GIVEN AT FACE VALUE, AND ALL TOO OFTEN, SIGNIFICANT DETAILS ARE LEFT OUT. IT’S BECOMING INCREASINGLY COMMON TO HEAR STORIES ON THE EVENING NEWS ABOUT ABUSED CHILDREN OR KIDS WANDERING OFF IN SITUATIONS WHERE THEY LACK COMMUNICATION SKILLS. THIS IS MANY PARENTS’ BIGGEST NIGHTMARE.

H

owever, you can proactively do things to help your child communicate what happened when you are not there, especially if there is an autism diagnosis. By implementing the three strategies we discuss in this article, you can have more peace of mind knowing you are doing all you can to keep your child safe.

STRATEGY ONE Introduce a school story template A social story is traditionally used to teach a child how to respond in a social situation. However, a modified “social story” can be used as a way for your child to tell you what happened in their day. It can help them identify events they need assistance with, and it can also give you insights as to how things went during the school day.

You can do this by creating a story template that prompts your child to “fill in the blank.” This makes their response easy and may encourage them to share information they might not have been able to otherwise.

An example could be, “Every day, I take the bus to school. Today on the bus, I felt _____” or “During recess today, I played with _____ “ or “During math time today, Mr./Mrs. Teacher’s Name said I did a _____ job. This made them feel _____.” Another useful prompt when using a social story is to include a section that asks a child what the best and worst part of their day was.

At first, this may be challenging for your child to complete and understand, but if you practice it daily, they will learn what is expected of them, and you will gain valuable insight into their day.

STRATEGY TWO Use visuals or a communication device Sometimes, using visuals will help a child communicate more effectively. Some children, especially those with autism, may not be able to communicate verbally, and this can be very frustrating for

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 31

COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES

teacher asked them to sit down, and they came home crying, saying that their teacher yelled at them. That is because due to poor executive functioning skills, many children with autism struggle with gradients of emotions.

you both. A communication device, such as a picture board or iPad, can help your child express themselves in ways that they cannot do otherwise. This will enable them to share their feelings and thoughts about the day even when they cannot verbally express themselves.

For example, you could say, “Tell me about your day at school,” and show pictures of them or generic visuals depicting feeling happy, sad, angry, etc.

Then they can point to how they felt in school today or respond using an iPad application. You can repeat this exercise by asking, “Who did you play with today?” and showing photos of their friends. Or you can ask, “What did you do today in school?” and show them pictures of activities.

One thing that can be a downside to using an iPad or choice board is the lack of responses. However, while your child will only respond with pre-set answers, it’s better than you asking them vocally and getting nothing in return!

STRATEGY THREE Use an “emotion thermometer” Many children focus on one small thing during school, which can be very misleading. For example, your child might have had a great day in school, but right before dismissal, the

The emotion thermometer is a simple way to help your child understand how they are feeling and that some things may make them very happy/angry or a little happy/ angry. The best way to teach this is to get an abacus like the one pictured above. For example, if your child said they are angry or that their teacher was mean, you could use the beads to have your child demonstrate whether their teacher was a little bit angry or very angry. This can help you understand the context of what happened and help your child realize and process their emotions. Use this strategy by talking about it beforehand and then demonstrating it together when you are ready, so your child understands why they are using it.

This will give you a much better understanding of what took place in school.

Not all special needs children are able to communicate what happened throughout their school day. However, there are things you can do proactively to help your child connect more effectively and help you understand their world better. By implementing the preceding three strategies, you will gain better insight into your child’s school day and will gain more peace of mind.

REFERENCES: Development and Psychopathology 18 ~2006!, 591–617 Copyright © 2006 Cambridge University Press Printed in the United States of America DOI: 10.10170S0954579406060305 Gray, C. (2000). The new social story book: Illustrated edition.

Arlington, TX: Future Horizons.

Marjorie Solomon, Executive Function (EF), Encyclopedia of Autism Spectrum Disorders, 10.1007/978-3-319-91280-6, (1877-1880), (2021).

Jessica Leichtweisz, MPS, is the founder of Hope Education Services and is passionate about helping parents understand their children with autism. She authored the Amazon number one bestselling book This is Autism and has been quoted in several major media outlets including The New York Times, Forbes, and MSN. Jessica completed a master’s degree in Special Education from Manhattanville College and did her post-graduate studies in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) at Kaplan University. Jessica has been working with children with autism since 2008.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hopeeducationservices Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopeeducationservices/

32 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

EXCEPTIONAL BOOKS

Transitioning from a Pediatrician to an Adult Physician

By Tammy Flynn Transitioning from a Pediatrician to an Adult Physician will become your essential guide to taking the right action steps as you transition your young adult from their pediatrician to an adult provider. Transitioning into adult healthcare can be overwhelming and stressful, but this eBook lays out the steps and phases of changing over the medical team for you and your young adult. As you continue this lifelong

healthcare journey, making sure you have the essential medical providers to support you—not only on the medical side but also in obtaining and continuing support services—is crucial to your success.

In this eBook, you will learn: • The ins and outs of transitioning your medical team • When to start the transition process and how to prepare • Effective ways to advocate for providers you believe your young adult deserves • How to be a supportive advocate for your young adult as they begin managing their own healthcare needs • And more specific tools and resources to make a stressful process simple This eBook is excellent for: • Young adults with complex and chronic medical issues and their parents • Young adults with exceptional needs and their parents/ legal guardians • Young adults with complex or chronic medical issues transitioning to adult healthcare providers

TO PURCHASE: https://www.onairadvocate.com/store/p2/Transitioning_from_a_Pediatrician_to_an_Adult_Physician_-_Ebook.html

Tammy Flynn has been a caregiver and an advocate for more than 23 years for her son, who has unique abilities and complex medical challenges, as well as two of her elderly loved ones. She has also worked in the medical field and with young people and their families within the school system. As a result, she can empathize with what it’s like to be in your shoes. Tammy says her life has many layers, with the family dynamics of being a single parent raising four children and navigating her entrepreneurial journey. Yet, she knows how to serve others with understanding, empathy, and encouragement while giving tools, strategies, and support so you can be the best advocate for yourself and your loved one. She is also the producer and host of the On-Air Advocate.

“Let’s brainstorm, get creative, and add knowledge, resources, and education to your toolbox.”

Website: www.onairadvocate.com

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 33 ADVERTISEMENT

MY WORD

Overrated Perfection is

By Lisa Palermo Matto

I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE. I WAS A BIT “JUDGY” OF OTHER PARENTS BEFORE I HAD MY OWN CHILDREN. IT WAS EASY TO DO. I WOULD ASSESS A SITUATION FROM AFAR AND THINK I COULD DO A BETTER JOB HANDLING THE PROBLEM AND/OR THE CHILD. THE TRUTH IS, NO ONE HAS A CLUE WHAT IT IS LIKE TO PARENT A CHILD UNTIL YOU ARE BLESSED WITH ONE OR MORE OF YOUR OWN.

T

here is no failproof method on how to parent, and if you have a child or children with exceptional needs, you better be ready to hold on to your hat and fly by the seat of your pants. The audacity of my having judged anyone trying to raise good humans in the world was preposterous. Once my two children came along, with the youngest having Down syndrome, I realized I also needed to stop judging.

When my son was in fourth grade and my daughter in kindergarten, they attended elementary school together. It would be the only time in their school career they would be in the same building simultaneously. On one particular morning, our transition from home to school had been extremely difficult and chaotic. Marlee had flushed her glasses and her pancakes down the toilet. Her backup pair of glasses were with the optometrist being repaired, so she would have to go without until further notice. Casey had bucked brushing his teeth

34 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

again and was sloppily finishing the previous night’s homework at the breakfast table. There was yelling coming from me, tears coming from Marlee, and grunting coming from Casey. By the time we left for school, we were all exhausted and upset. There was no wave goodbye from either of them, let alone a kiss. “Don’t forget your toothbrush,” I yelled to Casey.

I had brought it in the car as I knew he had not brushed them at home. I just couldn’t let that be. “I hate you,” was his reply as he slammed the door. I felt like a failure—the worst parent in the world. I was convinced I was ruining my children.

A couple of hours would pass before I received the first of two phone calls from the principal. “Mrs. Matto,” she would begin, “there has been a series of incidents involving Marlee.” “A series of incidents?” I questioned. It seemed that in a matter of seconds, Marlee had managed to slip away from her aide, crumple the art project of one student, and bite the arms of two more. I was mortified. I would need to meet with the

MY WORD

principal and kindergarten teacher after school.

“My day could not possibly get any worse,” I thought, and then I received a second phone call from the school. “Mrs. Matto,” the principal once again began, “I am sorry to inform you that a second meeting will be required from you today.”

“It seems Casey walked into an empty classroom and wrote a swear word on the blackboard. Casey will need to attend with you.” As I hung up the phone, I began to sob.

“What kind of mother has children who bite, crumple works of art, and write profanity on a classroom chalkboard?”

I asked out loud. “Me,” I answered, and I began to sob louder. It was at this point my father called the house. He immediately knew something was wrong and began to question me. He listened without any judgment and finally said, “Did you think we were having fun all those years raising you and your brother? Stop blaming yourself and stop rushing to judgment,” he said. “Listen to the school, but also remember to listen to your kids. Let me know how you make out.” And with that, he ended our conversation, leaving me with a few key points: 1. Stop blaming yourself 2. Stop rushing to judgment 3. Remember to listen to your kids When I met with the school staff later that afternoon, I tried to keep everything in perspective. Marlee’s outburst was not because I was a terrible mom or the consequences of her flushing her glasses (and pancakes) down the toilet. Her regular aide was not in school today, and she had a substitute. While I was torturing myself over our imperfect morning, Marlee was giving the poor, unsuspecting substitute aide a run for her money. We were able to tweak her behavior chart to include a reward system with stickers when she completed a scheduled task. When she accumulated enough stickers, she would

be able to pick a special activity to do with a friend. This gave Marlee an incentive to complete her classroom activities and gave her the opportunity to learn to manage her time and impulses. The next meeting with Casey resulted in him having to stay after school for detention the following day. It was the first time I had ever received a call from the school regarding his behavior. I was positive it was because I had been on him that morning about his teeth and his homework. When we returned home from the meeting, I asked Casey why he had done it. “Is it because I made you so upset?” Before he could answer, I apologized for bringing his toothbrush into the car and yelling at him.

He looked incredulously at me. “Mom,” he said, “I have no idea what you are talking about. Jake bet me five dollars I wouldn’t do it, so I wanted to prove him wrong and get the money.” Shaking his head, he walked out of the kitchen, folding his five-dollar bill and literally laughing all the way to his piggy bank.

Many times during those early years of raising my children, I judged myself too harshly. Every decision I made had me second-guessing myself. Inc. magazine once reported the average person makes 36,000 decisions in a day. If that’s true, then the average mother or caregiver makes double that amount— decisions regarding food choices, discipline, activities, medication, friends, sleepovers, clothes, screen time, social media access, tutors. The list goes on and on. If you have an exceptional child, throw in decisions regarding Individualized Educational Plans (IEPs), services, respite, medical specialists, and more. We make decisions weighing the pros and cons, ultimately trying to determine the best outcome for each child.

The amount of mental and emotional energy we process making decisions on behalf of our kids can wear us out. Let’s not agonize over and second-guess each decision we make. Let’s not think every decision our children make is a reflection of our parenting. Parenting is not about being perfect, and perfection is overrated. Parenting is about using our heads and our hearts to raise good humans.

Lisa Palermo Matto lives in Central New York with her husband and two children. She graduated with a BA degree from the State University of New York at Oswego and received her teaching certification from Le Moyne College. She spent many years teaching middle school English and is presently a youth minister and motivational speaker. Lisa is the author of the book, The Up Side Of Downs, which chronicles life with her daughter Marlee, who has Down syndrome. It is a compilation of funny, touching stories that celebrate inclusion, family, neighbors, and community. While she always has her passport at the ready to travel, Lisa is happiest in her kitchen surrounded by family and friends, dishing up homemade pasta, sauce, and her family’s renowned pizza recipe, made famous by her late Uncle Shuffles.

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Side-Downs-Lisa-Palermo-Matto/dp/B08WZH5479 Blog: https://www.whatjusthappenedblog.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-palermo-matto-61954825 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themarleeadventures, https://www.instagram.com/lisamatto1/?hl=en

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 35

PARENTAL SUPPORT

Single Parenting Your Child with a Disability

By Dr. Ron I. Malcolm, EdD EVEN IN THE BEST SITUATIONS, RAISING A CHILD WITH A DISABILITY AND TWO INVOLVED PARENTS CAN PRESENT A CASCADE OF DAILY CHALLENGES. NAVIGATING THE ENTIRE PROCESS OF PARENTING AS A “SINGLE PARENT” OFTEN OFFERS EVEN MORE TRIALS. HERE ARE 10 SIMPLE SOLUTIONS TO ASSIST WITH THE CHALLENGE OF RAISING A CHILD WITH EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS AS A SINGLE PARENT.

1

INVOLVE THE OTHER PARENT

You may be dealing with a divorce situation or possibly never having been married to your partner. However, even if the other parent does not live in your home, consider letting them care for their child on the weekends. This is particularly true if they are a trusted and safe adult.

Research has shown any child being raised by two parents often does better in school and in life in general. While you may not have the option of having the other parent directly in your home, they can still be directly involved with their child. This will give you a necessary break and the opportunity for your child to interact with another trustworthy adult.

36 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

2

GET INVOLVED IN AFTER-SCHOOL ACTIVITIES

3

USE BABYSITTERS

Consider involving your child in an after-school activity.

Many children with disabilities develop a passion for art, drama, music, or sports. The greatest thing about being involved in after-school activities is that it generally doesn’t require any additional transportation concerns for you as a single parent.

Your child generally will complete their day at school and go directly to the after-school activity. This also allows them to socialize with a range of peers.

Many single parents of children with disabilities experience a lot of anxiety with the idea of leaving their children

PARENTAL SUPPORT

with disabilities with babysitters. However, there are many experienced babysitters within the community. Many of us as teenagers were drawn to children with disabilities, which is one of the main reasons we became teachers working specifically with children with disabilities.

Babysitters can watch children in your own home if you initially provide the babysitter with some training on how to specifically take care of your child with a disability. Having a trained babysitter accessible to you can allow you to run some necessary errands while your child enjoys their time at home with an appropriate peer with whom to interact.

4

SIGN UP FOR COMMUNITY PROGRAMS

The local YMCA provides some wonderful after-school or weekend programs. They have staff that may be specifically trained in how to interact and work with your child with a disability. Many schools provide bussing directly to the YMCA from schools. However, if transportation is not provided, perhaps your child could carpool with another family that is also going to the YMCA. For a nominal fee, your child could receive

swimming lessons, become involved in yoga or martial arts, take babysitting classes that could lead to them becoming a certified babysitter, take a gymnastic class, etc.

5

CONNECT WITH GRANDPARENTS

Grandparents are a wonderful resource for families. They could come to your house to interact with and take care of your child. Your child could even go to their grandparents’ house for a “sleepover” and provide you with a full day or evening free to do whatever you want to do. It is amazing the benefits your child with a disability can obtain by simply baking some cookies with grandparents, walking their dog, helping them with yard work, or other simple tasks.

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 37

PARENTAL SUPPORT

Sharing your frustrations and daily challenges with another single parent, even one who is not raising a child with a disability, can be extremely liberating and comforting.

8

UTILIZE RESPITE CARE

9

RELY ON OTHER SINGLE PARENTS

You may be fortunate enough to have insurance that will cover the cost of “respite” care. This service generally provides trained personnel that will come and take care of your child with a disability. You may also have your child involved with a local agency that allows you to access “respite” care.

This can allow both you and your child with a disability to have a break from each other.

6

FIND PROGRAMS THROUGH PLACES OF WORSHIP

7

ACCEPT A FRIEND’S OFFER TO HELP

There are many programs available to your child free of charge that occur at churches. Some places of worship offer Sunday School classes, children’s church programs, summer day camps, after-school tutoring programs, mid-week children’s programs, and more. These programs can allow your child with a disability to interact socially with other children and develop possible friendships that can last a lifetime.

Many single parents are often approached by their friends and told, “Let me know if there is ever anything you need.”

Yet, many single parents just politely decline. I would challenge you to take your well-meaning and trusted friends up on their offer to assist you with your child. Your friends can come to your home, or your child could go to their home or on a day trip with your friends. It is amazing how well-rested you can become with a simple “nap” or just an opportunity to get some loads of laundry done uninterrupted.

Remember, you are not the only single parent in the community dealing with a child with a disability. Locating other single parents within your community can allow you to share resources with each other. Perhaps one parent could volunteer to carpool their child as well as yours to events at school or within the community. In return, you could host a “sleepover” event that would allow them to have a night off knowing their child with a disability is in a safe and loving environment. Sharing your frustrations and daily challenges with another single parent, even one who is not raising a child with a disability, can be extremely liberating and comforting.

10

LOOK AT DAYCARE AS AN OPTION

Finally, you may want to look at your local daycare options in the community. Meet with the director and educate them on your child’s disability and the accommodations they may require. You may be surprised that the staff has already had experience with children with disabilities in their programs. Daycare may provide a fun and educational environment for your child.

Dr. Ronald I. Malcolm is an Assistant Director of Special Education for a public school district, an Associate Faculty Member with the University of Phoenix, and a Special Graduate Faculty member at the University of Kansas. He has bachelor’s level degrees in English and Special Education. He holds master’s level degrees in Counseling, Special Education, and School Administration. His doctorate degree is from Northern Arizona University in Educational Leadership. His post graduate degrees are in positive behavior supports and autism spectrum disorders. He has worked for the past 37 years with students between the ages of three to 21 with various health-related concerns in both school and community-based settings.

38 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

Let's ensure no one is left behind...

Exceptional Needs Today is committed to remaining a free publication to ensure no one is left behind when it comes to guidance. Please consider advertising to help us continue to support the exceptional needs community.

MEDIA KIT advertising@exceptionalneedstoday.com exceptionalneedstoday.com

EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS TODAY

FINANCIAL FOCUS

What is the Difference Between a First-Party Trust and a Third-Party Trust?

By Ryan F. Platt, MBA, ChFC, ChSNC, CFBS

A FIRST-PARTY SPECIAL NEEDS TRUST, ALSO KNOWN AS A D4A TRUST, IS DESIGNED TO RECEIVE ASSETS IN THE NAME OF THE INDIVIDUAL WITH THE DISABILITY OR DESIGNATED SPECIFICALLY FOR THEM BY NAME. FOR INSTANCE, A FIRST-PARTY TRUST IS USED IN CASES OF A SETTLEMENT OF A LAWSUIT IN WHICH THE INDIVIDUAL WITH THE DISABILITY WILL BE RECEIVING A FINANCIAL REWARD.

A

nother situation that would warrant a First-Party Special Needs Trust is an incorrectly provided inheritance from someone who listed the individual with the disability by name in their will or as a beneficiary of a retirement plan or life insurance policy. When an individual is listed as a beneficiary, the money designated for them is considered their asset, which would disqualify them for SSI and any Medicaid benefits. In these situations, a First-Party Trust will need to be created to reroute these assets in order for the individual to keep their benefits.

A Third-Party Supplemental Needs Trust is used for money and resources provided for the benefit of the individual with the disability, but the individual was never directly named to receive that money. For example, these trusts are mostly used by family members who want to provide for the lifetime support needs of their loved one with a disability. Instead of naming their loved one by name to receive the money, they use the name of the actual trust. A Third-Party Supplemental Needs Trust is used primarily by parents to provide resources that will be used to care for their child with a disability who will need lifetime support when the parents pass away.

The distinction between the two trusts is very important because the First-Party Special Needs Trust includes a payback to Medicaid at the end of the beneficiary’s life, and the Third-Party Supplemental Needs Trust does not. This means the remaining money in a First-Party Special Needs Trust will most likely be claimed by Medicaid as repayment for the cost of all the services they provided the individual with a disability during their lifetime, while the remaining money in a properly

40 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

drafted Third-Party Supplemental Needs Trust will be provided to other living family members or to charity depending on the specific instructions written within the trust itself.

It is also important to understand the trustees (those responsible for decisions within the trust) of a Third-Party Supplemental Needs Trust should never mix the beneficiary of the Third-Party Supplemental Needs Trust’s money (such as their own savings from possible work income or government benefit income not used for day to day expenses) with those dollars within the trust. The reason the trustee should not allow any contributions to the trust with money directly from the beneficiary of the trust is because it will automatically invoke a Medicaid Payback provision (like the First-Party Special Needs Trust) for the remaining amount of money inside the Third-Party Supplemental Needs Trust at the death of the beneficiary. This means no other family members will receive money from the trust when the beneficiary dies; instead, Medicaid will receive it.

FINANCIAL FOCUS

When discussing types of Special Needs Trusts, it is necessary to explain Pooled Special Needs Trusts. Pooled Special Needs Trusts are managed by non-profit organizations and combine the resources of many beneficiaries for the purposes of administration, investment management, and overall cost effectiveness. Pooled Trusts can be First-Party or Third-Party depending on the source of the funds. One reason why families decide to use a Pooled Trust is because the management and rules associated with managing a Special Needs Trust can be complex and difficult for family members and friends to navigate. Combine this reason with the second fact that professional or corporate trustees typically do not manage individual trusts below $500,000 or $1,000,000, a Pooled Trust is a great alternative for families that will not have the resources needed for a professional trustee but still need expertise in managing their loved one’s assets inside a protected vehicle like a Special Needs Trust.

Deciding on the type of Special Needs Trust to use will depend on several factors including the source of the funds for the trust, the amount of money that will fund the trust, and the desire or need for professional trustee guidance.

For many families, it is very helpful to hire a professional special needs planner to help make the appropriate Special Needs Trust design decision most appropriate for their specific situation.

Contact a financial advisor who specializes in serving families with special needs for more information on how to prepare for the future. The team at A Special Needs Plan is driven by their purpose of Leading Families to Independence through an ongoing, multi-generational plan. We are passionate about families confidently moving forward.

Ryan F. Platt, MBA, ChFC, ChSNC, CFBS, is a registered representative of and offers securities, investment advisory, and financial planning through MML Investors Services, LLC, Member SIPC. A Special Needs Plan isn’t a subsidiary or an affiliate of MML Investors Services, LLC, or its affiliated companies. This article is not a recommendation or endorsement of any products.

Website: http://www.aspecialneedsplan.com Phone: 704-326-7910 Location: 101 N. McDowell Street, Suite 120 Charlotte, NC 28204

THE VANGUARD SCHOOL Guided Learning through Individualized Spectrums of Growth Leadership

Community

Integrity

Empathy

Resilience

www.vanguardschool.org admissions@vanguardschool.org

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 41

EXCEPTIONAL BOOKS

The Autism Parents’ Guide to Reclaiming Your Life How To Build The Best Life While Successfully Raising A Child With Autism

By Deanna Picon “Deanna Picon’s passion and commitment is inspirational as she lovingly guides families affected by autism on their journey together. Her published works provide the reassuring support so many parents with special needs children seek on a daily basis. Deanna is a real asset to the autism community.”

—Amy KD Tobik, Editor-in-Chief, Exceptional Needs Today The Autism Parents’ Guide to Reclaiming Your Life provides special needs parents with proven techniques and a clear-cut action plan to build a good life for themselves and their family. This ground-breaking and life-affirming book was written specifically for and is completely about the parents of special needs children.

Whether you’ve just been handed the diagnosis or you’ve been dealing with the autism challenge for years, you will find help in these pages. Whether you are determined, scared, or simply feeling a bit numb and overwhelmed, you will see there is hope. And whether you are a family member, friend, or professional, you will learn how to understand and support the parents of special needs children.

TO PURCHASE: https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Parents-Guide-Reclaiming-Your/dp/1497581222

ABOUT THE AUTHOR As the parent of a non-verbal, young man with autism, Deanna Picon personally understands the impact of autism on a family. She knows first-hand how heartbreaking a diagnosis of autism can be for parents and the personal struggles that often follow. But, through her own journey with autism, Deanna also recognizes the special joys, rewarding experiences, and unique life gifts which can result from raising a child with special needs. Deanna is the founder of Your Autism Coach, LLC, which provides comprehensive support programs and seminars for parents of special needs children. Her personal mission is to empower parents as they advocate for their children while balancing productive work and family lives. Deanna’s articles have appeared in Autism Parenting Magazine, Exceptional Parent Magazine, and Parenting Special Needs Magazine. She is the recipient of both the 2018 “Top Parental Advice Writer Award” and 2015 “Top Life Coach Writer Award” from Autism Parenting Magazine. Her academic credits include a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and a Bachelor of Arts in Broadcast Journalism from Syracuse University.

Website: www.yourautismcoach.com Email: info@yourautismcoach.com

42 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 ADVERTISEMENT

EXCEPTIONAL EMPLOYMENT

Autism in the Workplace Could Lockdown Bring a Breakthrough?

By Mark Palmer SECURING AND MAINTAINING A JOB CAN BE CHALLENGING FOR MANY AUTISTIC PEOPLE. SO MUCH SO THAT IN THE UNITED KINGDOM, ONLY AROUND 20 PERCENT OF AUTISTIC ADULTS ARE EMPLOYED, DESPITE MOST WANTING TO WORK. THE CAUSES FOR THIS APPALLING STATE OF AFFAIRS ARE VARIED, BUT IT IS POSSIBLE A YEAR IN LOCKDOWN COULD TURN OUT TO BE A SIGNIFICANT STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. SO, WHAT IS GOING ON, AND WHY MIGHT THINGS NOW CHANGE FOR THE BETTER?

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 43

EXCEPTIONAL EMPLOYMENT

I

am of an age that during my school years if the word “autism” was used at all, it was generally negative and only towards “misbehaving” boys. It was believed they would grow out of it, and autistic girls and adults were completely unheard of. While none of this is remotely true, there is still a widespread misconception that autism is a severe disability that renders individuals unable to perform any useful function in life. In addition to the inhibiting effects of this inaccurate preconception, there are two key areas where autistic people struggle with work despite having skills and talents that should make them ideal for the job: navigating the recruitment process successfully and thriving in an environment in which they may be ill-suited.

Work practices have changed almost beyond recognition in many areas in recent years. However, while recruitment may now involve some tests or an assessment center, there is still one feature that remains front and center of almost all employee selection processes: the interview. I write as an autistic person who has passed an exhausting two-day assessment center filled with every imaginable type of exercise and psychological evaluation, only to be rejected at the final stage “rubber stamp” interview. I know of other autistic people who have had similar experiences.

If you wanted to devise a way to almost automatically screen out most autistic people, an interview would be very close to the perfect solution. While all autistic people are different, many of us struggle with some or all of the elements that make up the all-important interview. For example, coping with a new environment and speaking to unfamiliar people, plus needed social skills and face-to-face conversation in general, and maintaining eye contact for any length of time. All of these aspects can be a challenge for many of us.

But what does an interview assess anyway, beyond how good the candidate is at interviews? Would you rather have an employee who can talk well about doing a job or one who can actually do it, even if they struggle to look you in the eye and tell you how good they would be?

The COVID-19 lockdown has inevitably brought changes to the way interviews and recruitment, in general, are carried out. There may well still be a chat over Microsoft Teams or Zoom, but already, this removes some of the barriers to an autistic candidate.

They will likely be at home in a comfortable and familiar environment. Eye contact is much harder to assess over a video link, and it is much easier to refer to notes. But perhaps even more significant is that in some cases, potential employers are giving greater weight to other evidence—practical demonstrations of the skills needed, samples of work, and references from those who have seen what the candidate is capable of in the right environment.

All these changes help both autistic candidates to be given a fairer assessment and employers to make a more rounded assessment of all candidates than they might get from extensive reliance on a traditional interview.

44 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

EXCEPTIONAL EMPLOYMENT

Once an autistic person has secured work, there can be further barriers to success. Modern workplaces are often not designed with autistic people in mind. Many office spaces are large, openplan areas that are brightly lit and have discussion areas right next to workspaces to better facilitate “collaboration.” If you are sensitive to noise or bright lights, or even the smells wafting over from the nearby open plan kitchen area, this is just about the worst possible work environment around. Hypersensitivity, a condition present in many autistic people, means you may be unable to filter out the many different voices you can hear or are left in pain from the bright lights, among a myriad of other possibilities. How can you find a quiet, muted corner to work in when the office space is designed not to have them?

Again, the lockdown has brought relief in this area for many autistic people in office-based jobs. Many of us have now been working at home for over a year in environments we can design and control to meet our own needs. Many employers would never have allowed their staff even to try this before it was forced on us by circumstances. However, the general feeling seems to be that for many employers and employees, homeworking has been an enormous success, with a very real prospect that working all our contracted hours at an office will become a thing of the past for many of us. With the technology now available, remote working can be just as effective as being physically present. For autistic people who have struggled with unsuitable office spaces for many years, this could be a huge step forward.

If we can get past these barriers stopping autistic people from securing work and performing well in employment, they have a vast amount to offer. Like all of us, autistic people are all different, but there are a number of areas of huge value to employers where autistic people frequently excel.

Autistic brains work differently, and we sense the world around us in a different way from others. This means we have different thoughts and ideas. So often in business, employers are looking for an edge, a unique approach, the next big thing; they need ideas. Autistic people often excel in this area. We see patterns others miss, cannot help ourselves from approaching problems from new angles, and make connections between seemingly very different things.

A common stereotype is that autistic people are often nerds and geeks who are brilliant at maths and tech jobs. While this is true of some autistic people (as it is, of course, true of some people in general), autistic people can also be very creative. For example, there are many hugely talented autistic artists and writers. In addition, our love of order can make us excellent at administration and management, and our problem-solving skills have much broader applications than information technology (IT)!

us, not hearing phones ringing or people trying to talk to us.

Again, what an asset to an employer to have staff so dedicated to their work!

So many autistic people have so much to offer the world of work and are desperate to be given a fair chance. Things have been improving slowly for some time with the advent of specialist schemes aimed at recruiting neurodivergent staff, but there is still a long way to go.

While this pandemic has been a huge tragedy at many levels, changes in working practices that can be of significant assistance to autistic people entering and thriving in the workforce could be one positive outcome of this enormously difficult time. The world of work has been changed forever, with many asking why physical presence at a workplace is necessary for many jobs. Greater flexibility in where and how we work, if maintained as “normality” resumes, can only be a good thing for autistic people.

Mark Palmer is a freelance writer specializing in mental health, autism, and neurodiversity.

Website: www.markpalmerwriter.co.uk Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkPWriter Email: mark@markpalmerwriter.co.uk

ValiantFutures.com

off ice@valiantfutures.com 760-854-4003

WE STRIVE TO MAKE SMART FINANCIAL PLANNING ACCESSIBLE TO ALL FAMILIES. • Who will care for my child when I’m gone?

• How do we access and keep public benefits?

• How much money will it take to support our child?

Autistic people are also frequently able to focus intently on a piece of work or assignment. We become so absorbed we may start to completely lose track of what is happening around

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 45

EXCEPTIONAL EDUCATION

Seven Things Students with Disabilities Should Do When Starting College

By Eric Endlich, PhD STUDENTS WITH DISABILITIES OFTEN HAVE TREMENDOUS POTENTIAL AS WELL AS EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS. BUT TO FULFILL THAT POTENTIAL IN COLLEGE, THEY NEED TO PREPARE THEMSELVES ADEQUATELY BECAUSE THE TRANSITION FROM HIGH SCHOOL INVOLVES A HUGE INCREASE IN INDEPENDENCE.

Here are seven key strategies and mindsets that can help set students up for success.

1

GET AN EARLY START PLANNING YOUR ACCOMMODATIONS AND SERVICES

During the college search process, high school students should research what disability accommodations are available at each school, as well as what documentation the schools require. Susan Smythe, Americans with Disabilities Act Program Manager/Senior Project Manager at Swarthmore College, recommends students “reach out to the admissions and disability services offices at the schools you are interested in ahead of time to see what services they offer/how the campus is set up, and plan ahead. In addition, many students who may not have needed accommodations in high school start to struggle in college. Reach out early and register with the office, and at least have an initial intake/conversation—even if you feel you

46 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

might not need it. Accommodations are never retroactive, so don’t wait until you’re really struggling to start the process.”

Kelsey Bohlke, Assistant Director of the Office of Accessible Education at Agnes Scott College, likewise observes, “You’re going to be so much more successful if you proactively put supports in place (even if you never use them!) than waiting until an academic or mental health crisis occurs and you’re scrambling at the last minute.”

2

BE PREPARED TO ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF

“Once you get to college, you will be expected to self-advocate for essentially all of your needs,” Bohlke notes. “Whether it is to discuss a grade, find a counselor, or set up accommodations, the expectation is that you, the student, take the lead on all of this rather than a parent or teacher. An important precursor to being able to advocate for yourself is self-aware-

EXCEPTIONAL EDUCATION

ness. If you know yourself and what you need, you will be better able to advocate for those needs to others.”

Of course, students aren’t born with these skills. Allyson Hyland, Assistant Director of Disability Services at UMass Boston, encourages teens to develop self-advocacy while still in high school. “You will greatly benefit from making the shift in your mind, behavior, and choices toward increased independence and self-advocacy; begin taking on more responsibilities at home and have more control over your own needs and care. Start small if it feels overwhelming, and gradually add things in. Specifically, you will benefit from knowing your diagnosis, treatment plan, and how your disability affects various aspects of your life. Unlike high school, college is going to require that you approach the accessibility office on your own, submit documentation, and have a registration meeting where you are able to de-

scribe what you think will help support you in school and what has worked well in the past. You are expected to work independently with the accessibility office to come up with an accommodation plan. This is a very empowering step!

The accommodations process in an employment situation mirrors that of the college process, so navigating this in college is good practice for the work world.”

3

THINK BEYOND DISABILITY SERVICES

The student disability/accessibility office is the ideal place to start for obtaining accommodations. However, as Jeff Edelstein, Student Advocacy Coordinator for the National Center for College Students with Disabilities, reports, “students who struggle to register with their campuses’ offices should know this is not the only way to secure assistance in their courses.

Many faculty feel comfortable working out accommodations on an individual basis.”

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 47

EXCEPTIONAL EDUCATION

Annie Tulkin, Founder and Director of Accessible College, LLC, similarly advises students to “talk to their professors, connect with their RA, and take advantage of any academic support the college offers, like the writing center, academic coaches, and tutors.” Tulkin also points out that accommodations can extend beyond the classroom: “Accommodations apply to all areas on campus, including housing and recreation. Students should consider their needs holistically, especially if they plan to live on campus.”

Moreover, there are many services available throughout the university, such as academic advising and career counseling.

Elizabeth C. Hamblet, a college learning disabilities specialist, reminds students, “Most colleges have tutoring centers where they can get help with a variety of subjects, and some now of-

fer workshops on time management, organization, etc. Some even offer peer mentors or academic coaching. And there may be a writing center and a math help room. Many colleges also offer mental health counseling, and they may have small groups for students with eating disorders or other issues.”

4

ACCEPT THAT IT’S HARD SOMETIMES

5

EMBRACE WHO YOU ARE

Students “should remember that their classmates are likely feeling a bit insecure and tentative in this new environment, so they’re not alone if they feel that way,” adds Hamblet. “They should be aware that the environment at college is meant to be different and challenging, so if they’re struggling, it’s not because they don’t belong there. It just means they should seek out some of the supports put in place to help them. They should also avoid falling into a mindset that they’re supposed to be able to do everything on their own without help. Colleges wouldn’t provide all of the supports they do if they didn’t expect students to need them.”

Students who have received special education services throughout childhood sometimes feel stigmatized or excluded. They may fantasize about a fresh start in college, where they hope to blend in or assimilate. L. Scott Lissner, Americans with Disabilities Act Coordinator & Section 504 Compliance Officer at The Ohio State University, says, “College offers an opportunity to remake yourself. Many students want to put special education behind them, often for good reasons. The college experience of disability is different; don’t avoid it. Talk to the disability office early, explore disability as part of diversity, as part of identity, as a strength.”

Likewise, Edelstein cautions, “Students may hesitate to register with their disability service offices, even if they had an IEP or similar supports in K-12. Don’t! Even if you don’t think you’ll need them, if you have the resources to register with your institution’s office, make sure to do so. For students who feel bad or guilty about accommodations, treat it like insurance; you hope you don’t need them, but you’d rather have them just in case. Students should also know that use of accommodations is not a personal failure!”

6

CREATE A COMMUNITY

For Edelstein, building a social network is a key part of the self-acceptance process. “Despite the widespread presence of disability services offices, colleges have remarkably few opportunities for students to develop a sense of disabled identity and community. That’s not to say they shouldn’t register with disability services offices—they absolutely should if they can, even as a proactive measure—but being accommodated is different than being accepted. Students should look into clubs, classes on disability studies, or local centers for independent living (or online!) for community. They should also be aware of online communities found on social media like Reddit, Twitter, and Facebook where communal knowledge about disabled experiences in college can be shared widely.”

48 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

EXCEPTIONAL EDUCATION

Hyland also urges students to connect with others. “I strongly encourage students to attend as much as they can various events and sessions around campus, from orientation to information sessions about student groups, etc. Finding a friend group or even one other person who knows you can provide comfort, a resource, and friendship. Don’t count out what you offer, too! You are also a resource for other students who are experiencing college for the first time and could use a friend and classmate to support them.”

7

STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

Hyland further advises, “Walk around; get a feel for your new learning environment. Some ways to feel confident include preparing well, practicing independence, meeting new

people, and knowing that you are a resource and an important part of the campus community, too. You have a unique perspective and life experience—your community benefits from you sharing it! Finally, confidence grows as you widen your perspective on yourself and the world around you, and one way to do that is to practice seeing things with a fresh lens. Try something new, give yourself a chance to develop parts of yourself, put yourself out there, and know that you are a person of great value.”

The transition to college is undeniably a huge step. But with careful planning, students can build a social and academic support system that will help make college a successful and fulfilling experience.

Eric Endlich, PhD, founder of Top College Consultants®, helps students with learning differences or emotional challenges transition to college. An experienced clinical psychologist, Dr. Endlich is on the advisory board of the Asperger/Autism Network, the Learning Differences/Neurodiversity Committee of the Independent Educational Consultants Association, the health advisory board of Personal Best/Oakstone Publishing, and the editorial board of the International Journal of Rehabilitation and Special Education. A frequent conference presenter and regular contributor to blogs such as CollegeXpress, Dr. Endlich has recently co-written a book, Older Autistic Adults, In Their Own Words. He has taught undergraduate and graduate psychology courses at Boston College, Tufts University, Suffolk University, and UMass/Boston.

Website: https://www.topcollegeconsultants.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/topcollegeconsultants/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TopCollegeConsultants, https://www.facebook.com/groups/1808842799137600 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8vFhAYtle1M5FTATrubAAA

CP CONSULTING

CONNIE PERSIKE, MS, CCC/SLP SPEECH-LANGUAGE PATHOLOGIST

EDUCATIONAL / BEHAVIORAL CONSULTANT 608-333-4464 https://cpconsulting.us/

Individual Student Consultation Functional Behavioral Assessments Development of Positive Behavioral Support Plans Independent Educational Evaluations Speech-Language Assessments Professional Development Development of Data Collection Measures Staff Coaching and Modeling Social Skill Evaluations Programming Audits Online Professional Development Courses for Teachers & Paraprofessionals

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 49

Sam Mitchell Amplifying the Voices of Exceptional Needs

By Margo Marie McManus

I

n October 2019, autistic teenager Sam Mitchell released the first episode of his podcast series, Autism Rocks and Rolls, on Podbean. Diagnosed at four years old, Sam has grown up with an experiential awareness of autism’s challenges, gifts, and social perception. He recognizes the need for autistic visibility and advocacy. “I take this responsibility very seriously and will speak for anyone,” he says, “I understand. I live it each day. I want people to know, I am with you, I see you, I hear you, I will include you.” As the host of Autism Rocks and Rolls, Sam is able to broadcast his own voice while offering a platform for others in the exceptional needs community to do the same.

Sam was first introduced to podcasts after joining his high school’s media club his sophomore year. The club runs a student-led podcast known as Thundercast that focuses on topics affecting the school’s student body and surrounding area.

During his time on Thundercast, Sam realized how much he enjoyed the experience and that he had a talent for hosting.

He decided to make his own podcast the following year so he could use that talent to help others. “Thundercast helped me with the basics of running a podcast and also how interviews are structured. Once I understood the basics, I went into my own direction and am loving how it has happened,” he explains.

With the guidance of his mentor, Scott Carmichael, and the full support of his family, Sam was able to make his podcast a reality. He was given a soundboard as a birthday present, then worked out the technicalities of exactly what he wanted to do: make a podcast that could help destigmatize autism and encourage listeners to embrace it. Though he first feared

50 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

the possibility of his project flopping, Autism Rocks and Rolls proved successful; it now has over five thousand downloads.

The podcast has led to new opportunities. Sam has made many guest appearances on other podcasts, and has met both Dr. Temple Grandin and WWE Hall of Famer Mick Foley. He has become business partners with his mother, selling sponsorships, ad space, merchandise, and podcast coaching. He also does some public speaking. However, his commitment to his business can make balancing other parts of his life difficult, and sometimes he gets overwhelmed. “When I am at school, I focus on school. At home, after my homework, I focus on my second job right now: my show. My mom and I not only write, produce, and network, but we have other projects going on that connect to the podcast. I think about my podcast all the time. This sometimes gets into the way of socializing, but I love it, and I know I am building my future,” he affirms.

One benefit of his passion means he never suffers a mental block when working or planning for his podcast. He enjoys being “the boss of [his] own show” and claims the abstract format of a podcast is appealing because it aligns with how he thinks. He can make it entirely his own. Sam draws inspiration from his daily life with autism by following a planning strategy he calls APE. A stands for autism behaviors, P stands for perspective or interviews, and E is for entertainment or analogies. This gives him a general framework for his content.

He later records, edits, and publishes the episode. Though he loves putting everything together, Sam is happiest when editing and perfecting his work with Audacity. The one thing he dislikes is the need to be very conscientious of copyright laws.

Though he understands their importance, it can be frustrat-

EXCEPTIONAL ADVOCATE

ing to get an idea and realize certain music or sounds can’t be used without paying a lot of money.

Making a podcast has improved Sam’s independence and allowed him to practice various motivational, entrepreneurial, and media skills. Additionally, it has bolstered his self-confidence when communicating. “I haven’t always been able to do that being on the autism spectrum. I still struggle with that most days when I am not behind the microphone,” he admits.

Not all of it has been easy, but three years of hard work have paid off. After high school, Sam intends to go to college at Ivy Tech in Bloomington, Indiana for his general courses. He then plans to attend Vincennes University to major in media, entrepreneurship, or tourism. Sam encourages his fellow autistic students to go to school, socialize, do their best, and reflect on their days. He also advises any aspiring podcast hosts to just go for it because even if it flops, at least you can say you tried.

One of Sam’s favorite acronyms is LAI: Listen and Include. Outside of his podcast, Sam is not always listened to as a result of his autism. Though he may think differently or be unable to adapt to every social norm, he knows he still deserves to be included, just like the rest of the exceptional needs community. “We are all in this world together, and podcasts can sometimes show this. I know my podcast has helped so many off and on the spectrum,” he says. If there had been an autism podcast when he was a child, he is sure it would have made him feel less alone. Sam is amazed by technology’s ability to connect people and fully believes in its ability to assist the exceptional needs community seek resources and advocate for themselves. “I am respectful. I care about people deeply.

I am a functioning member of society. I exist, and I want other people to know that they do too. Social media is amazing.

Podcasts are amazing. Using these platforms can help a lot of people,” he declares.

teners as well as his guests, and is already working on future plans. In the meantime, Sam Mitchell will continue to project the voices of the exceptional needs community and shares a final piece of advice: “Be nice and don’t be stupid. I truly believe these two things could solve the world’s problems.”

Autism Rocks and Rolls can be found on Podbean, Spotify, YouTube, Apple Podcasts, SoundCloud, LinkedIn, Stitchter, IHeartRadio, Pandora, and ListenNotes. Sam Mitchell can be reached on all major social media platforms or by emailing info@autismrocksandrolls.com or mitchellsam171@gmail.com.

Margo Marie McManus is an intern and editorial assistant for Exceptional Needs Today. She is also a student and Writing Fellow at Clemson University, where she studies graphic communications and creative writing. Her interest in the exceptional needs community and autism awareness was first peaked when assisting students in the Writing Center. She furthered her interest by interning and writing articles for Autism Parenting Magazine. She enjoys reading and writing poetry and has over 15 poems published in various magazines and anthologies, including Teenage Wasteland Review and The Chronicle.

Sam’s goal has always been to aid others. After the podcast started to take off, further ways he could do so became apparent, such as considering the accessibility of his content and process. Aside from uplifting autistic voices by inviting them to speak in his show, Sam works to accommodate any special needs they may have. For instance, when he recorded with a deaf guest, Sam worked with her to ensure the captions on Zoom were turned on.

When asked about how he would accommodate a guest who is non-speaking, he replied: “Part of my mission is to highlight that every human being has something to offer society no matter what. Sometimes, even for those who do not speak, you have to find it and tap into their skills. I want to be the voice for those who do not have one. I want people to know: we see you. You are important. Everyone has something to offer. Even if someone cannot speak, what can they do? What abilities do they have? This is what should be showcased.”

Nevertheless, Sam acknowledges there is room for improvement. He needs to do a better job of accommodating his lis-

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 51

SKILLS FOR LIFE

Best Ways to Prepare for the Road Test with Autism

By Andrew Arboe FOR MANY INDIVIDUALS WITH AUTISM, LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE IS COMPOSED OF A MIX OF INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL CHALLENGES. EXTERNAL CHALLENGES APPEAR IN THE FORM OF LIMITED RESOURCES AND SERVICES IN ONE’S AREA OR WITHIN ONE’S STATE, WHILE INTERNAL CHALLENGES CAN RANGE FROM EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING DIFFICULTIES TO SENSORY-RELATED DIFFICULTIES. MANY OF THESE CHALLENGES ARE UNIQUE TO BEING AN AUTISTIC INDIVIDUAL LEARNING TO DRIVE, AND WHILE IT TAKES EFFORT AND PLANNING, IT’S POSSIBLE TO OVERCOME THEM.

I

am familiar with this because of my experiences as an autistic individual as well as my experiences as a consultant and speaker on driving while autistic. I have consulted with clients all over Connecticut and throughout the country and host webinars based on my experiences with learning how to drive. The approach I take to learning to drive as an autistic individual is unique and based around

52 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

strategizing and planning for success. One issue I have repeatedly encountered is how to effectively prepare for the road test as an autistic driver. The road test portion of the process one goes through to get a driver’s license is not only difficult but tends to be extremely daunting and anxiety-invoking as well. I am here today to help you understand how to effectively prepare for success with the road test!

SKILLS FOR LIFE

Passing the road test as an autistic driver can be very difficult. It is a major milestone and different people reach it at their own pace. But by approaching it with effective strategizing and planning, every driver can overcome challenges once thought too difficult.

Here are a few tips I consider very useful to any autistic driver considering taking a road test on their way to a license:

Take time to drive around the DMV area This is honestly one of the best and most important tips I give any new driver. The road test typically involves driving around the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) surrounding area, and access to those roads is open twenty-four-seven. If a prospective driver can drive around the area and experience the roads and how they feel beforehand, they have a better chance of passing the test. This is a way to build familiarity with the area and eliminate unknowns before the test. This increases comfortability and predictability—things that not only make the road test more passable, but also less scary.

With less fear and anxiety, one can be more confident. The importance of confidence going into these tests cannot be overstated, and for many, confidence comes from repeated success. For autistic drivers especially, turning driving on those roads into something that feels routine can be an extremely effective strategy for passing the road test.

Check out YouTube videos For those who are visual learners, it helps to watch videos about the road tests in your state. Back when I was practicing for my road test, I came across a video that showed the entire road test for a DMV near where I lived. Watching this video was incredibly helpful because it laid out many of the things the driving instructor might request during the road test, such as certain kinds of turns. This helped take away some of the anxiety, and I could even review it multiple times to really get a feel for it. I found another video that went over the points sys-

tem they used for the test. This helped me get an even better idea of what to prepare for and focus on. The videos helped set me up for success by not only making me fundamentally more prepared for the road tests but by making me feel that way too.

Schedule a mockup test Many driving schools offer mockup road tests to drivers who are preparing to take their official road test. This is an invaluable resource and a great way to obtain final pointers before taking an official road test. Mockup tests seek to cover the same material that is on official road tests and serve as a great review of one’s driving ability. They touch on general parking, speed management, turning, traffic signs, and traffic flow. If a driver you know needs some direction on where to focus before their official road test, a mockup test allows them to evaluate what they are doing well and what areas to work on.

This option also helps take some anxiety away as it allows the driver to get a feel for the road test environment. Mockup road tests are a resource often overlooked, but they can be extremely beneficial.

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 53

SKILLS FOR LIFE

Look into alternative locations for road tests While the DMV remains the primary location for road tests, some driving schools may offer testing at their location as well. In Connecticut, there are a few driving schools that have the option of completing the official road test at their location instead of a DMV. This could be a good alternative for those who have anxiety that stems from the DMV environment specifically. Taking a road test at a driving school can be particularly valuable because the driver can take their test in an area they’re already familiar with. This also allows the driver to potentially work with someone they already know from the school, which can reduce anxiety and create a more understanding and supportive environment. A driver often benefits greatly from taking a road test with the same people they learned to drive from. These are things that can help create confidence and comfortability within a driver before they take the road test, and with autistic drivers, this is especially vital to success. With that said, make sure to research the regulations on this option in your area because there may be some limitations. In my area, there is an age limit to that option as it is only for those under the age of 21. Unfortunately, I was stuck using the DMV for my testing because of my age. Nonetheless, this is an option and a resource I recommend every driver consider because of how helpful it can be.

Have anxiety coping strategies ready Regardless of where a driver ends up taking their official road test, having anxiety coping strategies in place beforehand is crucial. Being able to calm oneself before the road test can be the key to passing it. I still remember everything from my road test, especially sitting nervously and waiting to be called. But I knew I did everything I needed to before my test, and I believed in myself. I had some anxiety present because this was the “do or die” point of the driver’s test, but not more than I could handle. I was close to graduating from my community college at the time and I needed the license to make full use of my employment opportunities. I took the chance to take some deep breaths and think about other times I have triumphed over the challenges in my path. I went through the checklists in my head of the preparation I had done to remind myself I really was prepared. I worked to stay focused on the test and did what I had to do to keep my anxiety to a minimum. In the end, those anxiety coping strategies made the entire experience much more bearable. They might have even made the difference between passing and failing.

Passing the road test as an autistic driver can be very difficult.

It is a major milestone and different people reach it at their own pace. But by approaching it with effective strategizing and planning, every driver can overcome challenges once thought too difficult. No single strategy is going to make the road test passable, but by integrating the tips above and thinking outside the box, an autistic driver can create their own unique path to success! It is all about understanding the services and resources at one’s disposal and the services and resources that work best for oneself. This starts with knowing what’s out there, and I hope this list of tips can help autistic drivers begin building their own paths to success on the road test.

If you would like help on your own driving journey, we would love to chat! At Planning Across the Spectrum, we are available to help you make the best individualized choices for you.

We believe driving and transportation is an important factor in allowing individuals to live their lives freely. Our mission is to help everyone live as independently and financially free as they want. The ability to get certain jobs, go see friends, and provide an easy method of transportation for oneself and others when needed is invaluable. We pride ourselves on understanding the difficulties and solutions of driving as an autistic person firsthand. We bring the understanding and solution-based approach laid out in this article to everything we do, and we look forward to hearing from you.

Andrew Arboe is the Director of Community Outreach of Planning Across the Spectrum. He reaches out to various autism/ disability/neurodiversity organizations to start collaborations on empowering the community. Collaborations could be setting up speaking engagements, being involved in conferences, and connecting them to Planning Across the Spectrum’s other services. His other work includes managing the free-to-use national calendar and writing blog posts on various autism topics.

Website: https://planningacrossthespectrum.com/

54 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

Have you published an EXCEPTIONAL BOOK? Let's tell our subscribers about it through a discounted advertorial.

Ask us how.

Exceptional Needs Today

MEDIA KIT advertising@exceptionalneedstoday.com exceptionalneedstoday.com

EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS TODAY

EXCEPTIONAL EDUCATION

Ways to Stay on Track This School Year

When Both Parent and Child Have ADHD

By Faigy Liebermann, AACC, PCAC, ACC THE NEW SCHOOL YEAR IS AROUND THE CORNER. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOUR CHILD WILL BE BACK IN THE CLASSROOM.

T

he run-up to the new school year and the first few weeks of school can be very stressful for parents.

This is even more so if you have a child with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

As an ADHD parent and having struggled with ADHD myself, I have read so many self-help books out there. Most of them have made me feel so very guilty and totally overwhelmed.

There is so much to work on. I have felt like I shouldn’t even bother.

I will share some of my top tips for success I’ve learned over time that are easy to implement and won’t make you feel overwhelmed.

56 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

How do you cope with being human?

Throw your guilt out of the window; you are allowed to make mistakes.

I find the new school year incredibly stressful. There is so much to do. I have often misread the school supply list and bought the wrong equipment or not bought it at all for the first day of school, much to my children’s disappointment when they came home. The schools usually send a list in table form, with lots of words. I find it difficult to focus and read the school supply list, and I have made mistakes in the past. I now ask a family member to assist me with this, and that’s okay.

EXCEPTIONAL EDUCATION

If you find yourself nodding along with me, please understand the most important lesson you can teach your child is that you are human, you make mistakes, and that is okay.

Your child with ADHD may think in stark black and white or allor-nothing terms. Show them the world hasn’t collapsed just because things didn’t go as planned on the first (or second, or third) day. This is a vital life skill your ADHD child may not learn naturally. They will need to see you showing by example.

Having ADHD means your child will have to work harder at school to succeed. One of the skills your ADHD child will need to acquire is asking for help. When you teach your ADHD child by your example that you ask for assistance when you find things difficult, it is one of the best lessons you can teach your child.

Be kind to and be easy on yourself. If you make a mistake, that is alright. You are only human. Bashing yourself up internally will only make things worse. Really work on forgiving yourself for your mistakes.

Please remember you are doing the best with the tools you have. Please remember that you are doing a phenomenal job, and you are doing far better than you even imagine.

Be kind to yourself Since this time of year is more stressful, you will likely be giving more to your family. You need to give back to yourself by nurturing yourself every day. Do something you enjoy. In this way, you are replenishing your reserves to be a better parent for your ADHD child. You are not being selfish; you are being selfless.

You don’t need to focus on every single area of your child’s life at once to help them succeed. You are human with human limitations. There are, however, three main areas in life that will help your child reach success. They are the morning routine, the homework routine, and the bedtime routine. These

are some simple tools to help you and your ADHD child survive and thrive as you progress through the school year.

1. MORNING ROUTINE The morning and evening routines are like the two pieces of bread that contain the filling of your sandwich. If you don’t have the two pieces of bread to contain the filling, you have no sandwich. The morning and bedtime routines keep your child’s day focused and help your child to feel secure.

Life is hectic enough. Do yourself a favor and simplify your life as much as possible.

• Simplify your child’s clothes Place a simple basket near your child’s bed with the clothes for the next day.

• Simplify your child’s school lunches Create a menu plan for your child’s school lunches. If your child has lunch in school, be grateful you have one less thing to prepare. If your child takes a packed lunch, create with your child a set menu plan for the week.

Your child will know what to expect, and your mornings will flow better. Hang up the menu. Include the lunches in your weekly shopping list, so you have all the food you need for the week.

• Simplify snacks I know the experts say to prepare your child’s snacks the night before. Frankly, this is an ADHD-unfriendly piece of advice. The night before, I am still finishing up the day and trying to unwind. The very last thing I want to do is the horribly boring and tedious task of making my children’s snacks for the next day. The very best time (if you can organize yourself enough) to prepare your child’s snacks is the next morning. Be kind to yourself and have a container with pre-wrapped snacks ready for your child, even if that may cost more. The amount of stress and time you save will be well worth it.

• Simplify breakfast You and your child need a nourishing breakfast for optimum focus and productivity. If there isn’t time for a proper cooked meal, there are healthy quick alternatives such as flapjacks, breakfast bars, etc. Keep a stock of them handy in your snack cupboard for easy access.

2. HOMEWORK ROUTINE Homework—that dreaded word. After the long school day, your child with ADHD needs time to unwind. The best time for homework is when your child has had time to unwind and has eaten. The worst place for your child to do their homework is in their room with the door closed. They will likely get distracted by all sorts of things and not get their homework done.

The best place for your child to do their homework is right next to you. If you are busy in the kitchen, have them do their

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 57

EXCEPTIONAL EDUCATION

An expert ADHD coach will challenge their client to come out of their comfort zone, move forward, and put into action the tools at their own pace. homework at the kitchen table. You can supervise their work and give assistance when needed.

ing that teaches the ADHD client the life skills they need in order to succeed with their ADHD.

3. BEDTIME ROUTINE Make sure to have fun with your child every day. This should be an activity you find enjoyable too. Playing a game or reading a book to your child are some good examples. This bonding time will give your child confidence and lessen their anxiety. Incorporate this fun time into your bedtime routine. It doesn’t have to be long.

Every person diagnosed with ADHD without exception needs some aspect of life skills training and support. The tools that ADHD clients learn support the brain’s executive function deficit. Sadly, when the person with ADHD lives life catching up from one self-made crisis to another, they may end up with serious emotional issues that entail therapy. ADHD coaching support must be offered first before therapy.

In my home, our evening routine consists of three simple tasks: PJs, teeth, book. My ADHD children who have poor working memory can remember those tasks. They know that only when they have done the first two tasks will they be given the last one.

An expert ADHD coach will challenge their client to come out of their comfort zone, move forward, and put into action the tools at their own pace. ADHD coaching is incredibly specialized. Sadly, too often, too many ADHD coaches are not properly trained, and many times, not trained at all in this highly specialized field. They are doing a lot of damage to their clients and the image of ADHD coaching. This situation is sadly very common in the UK.

What is ADHD coaching?

ADHD management is “Pills and Skills.” Unmanaged ADHD affects every area of life. ADHD coaching complements ADHD medications. ADHD medication only manages up to 50 percent of ADHD symptoms. The remaining 50 percent needs to be addressed through ADHD coaching. This is specific coach-

The mainstream ADHD coach training programs in the UK and the USA focus too much on the general coaching methods.

They need to offer better, more comprehensive training in ADHD tools and business admin support for the ADHD coach.

I am Faigy Liebermann, AACC, PCAC, ACC, a pioneer, trailblazer, and a visionary disrupter. I bravely challenge current misconceptions around ADHD and ADD management. I am an ADHD coach and a professional trainer. Through my daily struggles and training, I have created rock-solid tools, guiding my clients to live successful lives. As a mother to five children and having struggled with ADHD myself, I have a unique understanding of the challenges and strengths of ADHD. I am proof to women worldwide that they can live a successful life with ADHD. In the last five years, I have done more to educate and raise ADHD awareness in the UK than any other coach. I have authored three books about ADHD, one of which is a book series for ADHD women titled Banish Your Overwhelm. There are currently two more books in the pipeline. I founded my coaching practice, Focus with Faigy, in 2015. As the first ADHD coach to achieve PAAC certification on the PCAC level in the UK, I am setting the gold standard in ADHD coaching in the UK. I am a staunch advocate for ADHD women in the UK and worldwide, providing my clients with proven ADHD skills to unlock their potential.

Websites: https://focuswithfaigy.com/, https://www.organisepro.com/

58 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

EXCEPTIONAL ADVICE FROM

MESHELL

THERAPIES AND TREATMENTS

The Benefits of Family Therapy Creating Healthy Dynamics Within the Home

By Meshell Baylor THERE IS A QUOTE THAT STATES, “HOME IS WHERE YOUR STORY BEGINS.” WE AS INDIVIDUALS LIVE EVERYDAY LIVES COMMUNICATING WITH COLLEAGUES, FRIENDS, AND ORDINARY PEOPLE; HOWEVER, THERE IS NOTHING AS SPECIAL AS THE LOVE ONE RECEIVES FROM THEIR OWN FAMILY. THE WORD “FAMILY” IS DERIVED FROM THE LATIN WORD FAMULUS, MEANING A HOUSEHOLD OF PEOPLE OF BLOOD RELATION LIVING UNDER THE SAME ROOF. THROUGHOUT THE YEARS FAMILIES HAVE TRANSITIONED INTO VARIOUS DYNAMICS. YOU HAVE BLENDED FAMILIES, ADOPTIVE FAMILIES, AND FAMILIES THAT HAVE CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS.

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 59

THERAPIES AND TREATMENTS

F

amilies go through many transformations to remain stable, but what happens when you need support? Who are you going to call? Family therapy is a form of intervention for each member of the household to utilize expressive and receptive ways to communicate their wants and needs for the overall benefit of the family. For example, if a child or a loved one has been diagnosed with a disability or illness, the home is deeply impacted by the news. Everyone in the household processes their own emotions differently. The advantage of family therapy is to give everyone the freedom to actively express their feelings and concerns in a place where there is no judgment.

Through family therapy, I learned how my son’s disability impacted his brother. Feelings of resentment, loneliness, and lack of attention were presented in the session. Therapy became a way of assisting everyone in the household to utilize their voice. In the end, we were able to obtain positive resources, become receptive to our son’s needs, and locate a support group through our local regional center called Sib Shop. Sib Shop is a program for siblings of special needs children to express their opinions. Family therapy provides each participant in the household with the opportunity to speak with a professional who will support the family.

The advantages of family therapy include: • Uniting the family together following a crisis or any circumstance.

• Creating honesty between members of the family.

• Helping family members establish a sense of trust.

• Developing a supportive family environment for every member if issues with anger, isolation, and/or resentment are present.

• Securing positive reinforcement and activities to build the family’s foundation.

• Establishing ways to maintain an open bridge of communication.

Family therapy can help members to overcome tremendous obstacles for the dynamics within the home. All parties must be willing to sit down, discuss their feelings, and allow each person the floor to address their needs. We are nothing without the people who love us unconditionally. If therapy can keep us communicating effectively, it should not hurt to give it a try.

Family therapy can help members to overcome tremendous obstacles for the dynamics within the home. All parties must be willing to sit down, discuss their feelings, and allow each person the floor to address their needs.

Meshell Baylor is a mother of four children, two of whom are on the spectrum. She serves her community as a social worker and community advocate within the Los Angeles area. She has a bachelor’s degree in Human Services from Springfield College and a Master of Science in Human and Social Services. Meshell continues to volunteer and give within her community, serving the special needs community.

60 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

PARENTAL SUPPORT

Five Reasons You Need a Parenting Coach as Your Guide

By Janis Meredith

PARENTS AND CAREGIVERS ARE SO WRAPPED UP IN THE LIVES OF THOSE UNDER THEIR CARE THEY OFTEN FORGET ABOUT MONITORING THEIR OWN EMOTIONAL WELLBEING. I WOULD VENTURE TO SAY MOST OF THEM HAVE NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED THE VALUE OF HAVING SOMEONE COACH THEM IN THEIR PARENTING.

S

ince I became a life coach and then a parenting coach a few years ago, I’ve run into many parents who have never heard of a parenting coach and are intrigued by what I do. I often liken parent coaching to many other types of coaching.

If you want to lose weight, you may hire a nutritional coach.

If you want to grow your company, you can hire a business coach. If you want to grow your finances, you enlist the help of a financial advisor. If you are an athlete striving

to improve, you may seek the help of a fitness coach or a sport-specific coach.

In each of these scenarios, the person seeking the help of a coach is not necessarily failing at their endeavors; they simply desire to improve, even to excel in something that is important to them.

If losing weight, gaining financial security, growing a business, and becoming a better athlete are important ambitions,

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 61

PARENTAL SUPPORT

No matter what challenges you face in your family, your needs as a parent are pretty consistent with other parents

how much more important is the goal of raising kids to become strong, compassionate, honest, hard-working adults?

They are, after all, the next generation of leaders.

Parents who seek the help of a parenting coach need not do so simply because they think they are not doing a good job; rather, they are looking for ways to get better at their job.

62 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

No matter what challenges you face in your family, your needs as a parent are pretty consistent with other parents: you need solutions to problems, you need tools, you need guidance for the next steps, you need to understand your own triggers and reactions, and you need goals for the future.

Perhaps as you read this you are asking yourself if you would benefit from a parenting coach. The short answer is YES, every parent would benefit from learning about tools that would help them do their job. But if you’re still not convinced, then ask yourself a few questions.

1. Do you often let your child’s emotional responses dictate your response?

A parenting coach can help you figure out how to break that habit.

2. Do you struggle to connect and communicate with your teen?

A parenting coach can work with you to find the tools that best fit your child’s personality.

3. Do you feel drained and worn out, with not much in your emotional tank to give to your child?

A parenting coach can help you find solutions that will empower you.

PARENTAL SUPPORT

4. Do you feel like you are winging it as a parent each day?

A parenting coach can help you develop parenting goals that will guide you through your daily parenting.

5. Do you feel unprepared and ill-equipped for parenting because you did not have good parenting models yourself?

A parenting coach knows how to give you the tools you need to parent well and help you understand how those tools fit in your particular home environment.

In my experience as a parenting coach, I’ve found that coaching is a life-changing tool when it comes to helping parents establish strong and happy homes. I personally have experienced the value of parent coaching, business coaching, and relational coaching.

If you are open to parent coaching, it’s important to find a coach you feel comfortable talking to. I would seek out a coach who offers a free first-time consultation so you can get

an idea if they are a good fit for your family. An open and honest relationship is an essential first step in finding someone who can help you reach your parenting goals.

Let me close with this one thought: parenting is much less stressful if you choose to be proactive rather than reactive.

Even if you think you do not need a parent coach now, I can guarantee challenges will come your way at some point in the future. Get the tools in place NOW that will help you be ready to face the difficulties before they happen.

Janis Meredith is a certified parenting coach with three grown children and a husband of 39 years. As the founder of Raising Champion Families, she’s written numerous e-books, one paperback, and hundreds of articles on parenting. She loves helping parents get the tools they need to raise champions.

Website: https://rcfamilies.com/sports-parenting-survival-guides/

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 63

COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES

CEASEFIRE A New Approach to Diffuse Inflammatory Statements, Desires, and Decisions

By Raun K. Kaufman “I want to beat up some cops.”

Brock uttered this to me in the same matter-of-fact tone I might use to inform my wife I was considering going to the supermarket to pick up some veggies. He was a sophisticated, highly verbal 18-year-old on the autism spectrum, and we were just beginning that week’s phone session. As a hulk of a guy with a highly-tuned sense of fairness (or his perception of its lack), Brock could make good on his wish if he chose to.

Nevertheless, I replied to his statement with curiosity. “Oh? Why is that?” You may be tempted to scoff at such a reply, your mind bursting with skeptical questions. What if he really does it? Don’t you have a responsibility to immediately warn him not to do it, convince him not to try it, threaten him with dire consequences? Even if you don’t think he means it, shouldn’t you at least tell him not to say such things out loud?

Short answer: No.

64 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

Longer answer: Everyone had already tried these things. Had they worked, I wouldn’t have been called onto the scene.

Longest answer: Not only do these knee-jerk approaches not work, they actually exacerbate the situation in every conceivable way. They break trust. They shut down potentially productive conversations. They prevent us from understanding our loved ones on the spectrum. They inflame rebelliousness.

And they stoke conflict.

Responding first with an open-ended follow-up question (asked with curiosity, interest, and care) takes us in a completely different direction. It deescalates. It opens doors. It builds trust. It gives our loved ones nothing to push against.

And it enables us to begin to truly understand our teens and young adults on the spectrum.

In Brock’s case, the more questions I asked, the more I began to understand why Brock felt so passionately about this is-

COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES

“What do you think would happen if you went up to a police officer and started hitting and punching them?”

This is where Brock’s magical thinking came into play. He explained that he would simply beat the office up, and then walk away.

“And what about when other police officers arrived?” He would beat them up, too.

“What if five more came?” He would beat them up, too. “What if ten more came?”

At that point, he acknowledged that he wouldn’t be able to beat up ten people at once. So then, together, we went through, step-by-step, what would likely happen next. The police would tackle him. They would restrain him (a possibility which terrified him). They would take him someplace where he couldn’t see his parents, couldn’t come and go as he pleased, and other people would have control over most areas of his life (a possibility which terrified him even more). As the conversation progressed, Brock actively solicited my thoughts about police officers and about what would happen to him if he attacked them.

And he really took in and considered my answers.

After our argument-free conversation, Brock decided he was not going to do anything violent to any police officer. And—get this—he actually thanked me for helping him!

Over time, he grew in many ways. He began to really think through how he responded to things he didn’t like or agree with, taking more ownership of those responses. He started to understand he didn’t need to take a belligerent stance in order to feel powerful and in control of his life. And he no longer engaged in magical thinking—instead making more realistic assessments of how things might unfold. sue. His experience of his life was of being, in his estimation, continually treated unfairly by adults in power. He disagreed with the way rules and restrictions were applied to him by his parents and educators. And he viewed law enforcement, too, as a personal threat hanging over his head. Why? Because they would be the ones to restrain him and take him to a psychiatric unit were he to get angry enough with his parents or anyone else to commit or credibly threaten violence—an outcome that had not actually happened, but which had come close to transpiring in the past.

So, I was able to understand Brock more. He showed me a window into his thoughts, his fears, and even his values. And, just as importantly, Brock felt heard. He trusted me and was thus open to different directions for our conversation—and for his own feelings and actions. Once I was clear about what was going on for him, I began to ask Brock other kinds of questions—specifically, questions about how he envisioned events unfolding.

Why did Brock change his tune?

The purpose of this article is to give you a brand new—and much more effective and productive—approach to your loved one on the spectrum…particularly with regard to addressing potentially problematic thoughts, desires, statements, or decisions they might make. For most of us, addressing statements our loved ones on the spectrum make—statements that push our buttons, seem socially unwise, or deeply concern us because of potential consequences—can feel incredibly tricky, uncomfortable, fraught with pitfalls, and maybe even unsolvable.

It may relieve you immensely to know this doesn’t have to be the case. Some situations are definitely dicier than others, but, in a massive number of them, an approach I call Taxi Driver Decisional Assistance can open the door for a different way for them to think about their thoughts, desires, statements, and decisions without you having to push, contradict, argue, threaten, scold, or debate them. Doesn’t that sound amazing?

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 65

COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES

Key steps to using Taxi Driver Decisional Assistance

What Is Taxi Driver Decisional Assistance?

Taxi Driver Decisional Assistance is an approach that enables highly verbal people on the autism spectrum to think through the social and other consequences of potential decisions, extreme responses, magical thinking, etc. using a conflict-free analogy and discussion style where you are their “taxi driver” just trying to help them take the best route to their desired destination.

Within this analogy, their job is to decide where they want to go (make a friend, not feel anxious, stick up for themselves when someone is treating them in a way they don’t like, feel strong, make an important life decision, succeed in a social situation, find a romantic partner, etc.). Your job is to help them get there—while alerting them to roadblocks and obstacles on various routes (i.e., how people will react, what would happen, what might be the most useful strategy for them to get what they want to get or feel how they want to feel).

This allows for much better decision-making while not giving your loved one anything to push back on or rebel against.

How can you use this approach when your loved one on the spectrum expresses desires you have a concern about (“I’m going to tell that girl she’s sexy,” “I’m not listening to anything my teacher says anymore,” “I hate my parents. I’m going to run away and go live on my own.”)?

66 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

1. Stay cool when the rhetoric heats up Usually, when a teenager or young adult on the spectrum says something inflammatory, we immediately tighten up. We get scared. We start imagining the person might do what they are suggesting. Or we are simply concerned that merely saying it could cause problems. (On top of that, some of us, when we feel that our authority is being challenged, get angry or intense.

Hmm…who does that remind you of?) If you are tight, scared, or angry, that is going to very likely trigger a Neuro-Crash in your loved one (or student), which will lead to them escalating. So, the first thing to do is to relax yourself.

2. Don’t try to control them in that moment Your every instinct will scream that you must put your foot down. Don’t do it. People on the autism spectrum have a heightened need for control. Violate it at your own peril.

3. Ask some open-ended questions with curiosity and caring These are mostly going to be the questions “Why?” (in response to them saying they want to do something, that they like or don’t like something, or that they feel a particular way) and “What do you mean by that?” (in response to them using loaded terms like “He’s a jerk,” or “That’s unfair,” or swearing). These types of questions allow you to understand where they are coming from.

4. Set up the Taxi Driver analogy Taxi Driver Decisional Assistance is not some sneaky ploy I use to trick people on the spectrum into chang-

COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES

ing their tune or going my way. I come right out and tell them exactly what I’m doing. I explain the analogy to them, including both of our roles. They love it.

5. Use the Taxi Driver analogy to (sweetly, and in a relaxed and easy-going manner) give them guidance.

Remember that, in this case, guidance doesn’t take the form of “You need to stop doing X and start doing Y,” “I think you should do X,” or “Don’t say that!” It takes the form of using the information you’ve gleaned about what’s important to them from Step Three to bring up the potential obstacles and consequences of them doing what they say they’re going to do. This includes brainstorming how they can begin to get what they want (and feel the way they want to feel) in a way that might actually work.

You will be truly shocked at what is possible when your loved one (or student) does not feel judged, bossed around, or pushed. With Brock and every other teen and young adult with whom I’ve worked, I have found I can suggest or put forth anything, as long as they don’t feel I’m invested in and controlling about what they do, say, or think. It’s my job to demonstrate this to them. If you can show your loved one the same thing, a whole new world opens up for both of you.

Raun K. Kaufman is the author of the book Autism Breakthrough: The Groundbreaking Method That Has Helped Families All Over the World and the former CEO of the Autism Treatment Center of America®. An international lecturer and graduate of the Ivy League’s Brown University with a degree in Biomedical Ethics, Raun has completed lecture tours throughout Asia, Europe, and the U.S. He has written articles featured in journals such as The Autism File and Good Autism Practice, books such as Silver Linings and Cutting-Edge Therapies for Autism, and has been interviewed by media such as National Public Radio, BBC Television, Fox News Channel, The London Telegraph, and People Magazine.

Along with author Kate C. Wilde, he co-created the ACT (Autism Crisis Turnaround) protocol and accompanying courses. In addition to his work with families and educators over the past 22 years, Raun brings a distinctive qualification to the realm of autism treatment: his own personal history. As a child, Raun was diagnosed with severe autism and recommended for lifelong institutionalization. Instead, his parents developed The Son-Rise Program®, which enabled their son to completely overcome his challenges. His story was recounted in the best-selling book, Son-Rise: The Miracle Continues, and the award-winning NBC-TV movie, Son-Rise: A Miracle of Love.

Websites: www.RaunKKaufman.com, www.AutismCrisisTurnaround.com

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 67

EXCEPTIONAL BOOKS

You Were Made for This

Finding Courage and Intuition for Raising a Child with Autism

By Rebecca Jeffreys Illustrator Jeffrey Hoover

You Were Made for This—Finding Courage and Intuition for Raising a Child with Autism focuses on supporting moms with compassion, mindfulness, and empowerment. You Were Made for This… chronicles Rebecca’s journey and the techniques she used to help maintain perspective, self-care, boundaries, and more while raising her son.

Each chapter has words of wisdom from well-known writers, thinkers, and philosophers and ends with thought-provoking exercises.

The back of the book has a glossary with common autism-related words parents will encounter with their doctors and teachers. Additionally, there is a guide for selecting a therapeutic school and beautiful, calming illustrations by Jeffrey Hoover. The easy-to-read, warm, and supportive writings make this a great bedside book to remind moms how important their self-care really is.

“You Were Made for This sparks the courage inside of you to listen to your maternal, intuitive knowing we often suppress because of the expectations of society, family, schools, and ourselves. Rebecca vulnerably shares her successes and challenges in navigating the journey of raising a child on the autism spectrum, and she shares with beautiful humility how her son helped her peel away her fears, beliefs, and labels. This book really allowed me to reflect, reframe, and celebrate my own journey with my son.” Rebecca Hale—pediatric physical therapist.

TO PURCHASE: www.sproutinghealthyfamilies.com/my-book

Rebecca Jeffreys, author and personal coach, is an autism mom on a mission to help other moms improve their emotional resilience and well-being. In addition to writing blogs and guest posts for other autism organizations, she also hosts a podcast titled The Caretakers which highlights people who make the world a better place. A few of her guests include speech therapists, behaviorists, spiritual leaders, authors, and other autism moms. Additionally, she has spent over 35 years teaching music to children and adults of all ages.

Website: https://www.sproutinghealthyfamilies.com/ Published by Empowerment Publishing and Multimedia, 2021

68 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 ADVERTISEMENT

THERAPIES AND TREATMENTS

Top Ways Families Can Maximize Speech Therapy in the Home Environment

Altered for print from an exclusive full video at https://www.loom.com/share/ a5f81cb41bbf4205adfc7ad38fb2b579.

By Rosemarie Griffin, MA, CCC/SLP BCBA

PARENT QUESTION: WHAT CAN I DO TO MAXIMIZE MY CHILD’S SPEECH THERAPY WHEN AT HOME?

T

his is a really, really good question. If you’re new to me, my name is Rose Griffin, and I am a speech-language pathologist, a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst, and the founder of ABA Speech. I divide my time between a public school and my private practice called ABA Speech.

1

The number one most important thing to do is have an ongoing dialogue or communication with your child’s speech therapist. That may look different in a public school setting versus a private setting.

In a public school setting here in Ohio, we have progress reports sent home every nine weeks.

We have to give parents very specific information about how their child is doing in speech therapy. But, for some parents, they might want to know more frequently how their child is doing, or they might want to know specifically how they can help a child generalize what

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 69

THERAPIES AND TREATMENTS

As a private therapist, I write out a note each week for parents. If it’s a student who has autism, the notes might have suggestions for parents to work on joint attention and information about activities to work on to help supplement and support what we’re doing in our direct sessions. you’re working on in therapy into the home environment.

Something I’ve done for parents who might have a student with more complex needs (or a student with parents who are there to support and want to work on communication in a more intense way in the home environment) is I have started a shared Google document with parents. That may seem very simplistic, but it’s a very powerful resource when used correctly. Each week when I see the student (if that frequency makes sense) or every other week, I will put on the shared Google document items, words, and concepts the parents can work on in the home environment. Usually, those in a public

70 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

school are going to be tied to a goal we’re working on from an IEP (Individualized Education Program). That’s a really nice way, especially if you have an autistic student; sometimes you may have home help (where there are people coming in, and they are helping the child with schoolwork or activities of daily living), and they might be able to also supplement what they’re doing by working on these communication skills and giving your child more practice in the home environment.

This is important because that’s where communication really takes place. So, if your child is getting speech therapy in a public school, that is my number one.

THERAPIES AND TREATMENTS

2

If your child is seeing a private therapist, I would ask to potentially sit in on some of the sessions so you can see what the therapy looks like. This is something you can also request in a public school; it might be a little bit harder because there might be more restrictions because there are other students in the room, COVID, and things like that, but it’s definitely something you can request and something I’ve had parents do. I think it’s really great that parents are in the loop, and they know exactly what’s going on in therapy. While sitting in on a session, if you’re able to, try to have an ongoing dialogue with the private therapist.

As a private therapist, I write out a note each week for parents.

If it’s a student who has autism, the notes might have suggestions for parents to work on joint attention and information about activities to work on to help supplement and support what we’re doing in our direct sessions. Since they’re with the child so much, it’s essential to know what is going on in therapy. It’s important for you to feel empowered and support when the child is not in therapy. I think that ongoing dialogue, and then having an embedded way to communicate whatever setting you’re talking about, public or private—having ongoing communication with the speech therapist, having a way, a system, set in place with a certain frequency that you’re going to be getting information about what your child is doing in therapy, and how you can generalize those into the home environment—I think that’s definitely the most important thing.

RESOURCES Cooking activity: https://abaspeech.org/2020/05/speech-therapyideas-for-students-with-autism-communication-at-home-cooking/ Reading activity: https://abaspeech.org/2020/06/speech-therapyideas-for-students-with-autism-communication-at-home-literacy/ Laundry activity: https://abaspeech.org/2020/06/speech-therapyideas-for-students-with-autism-communication-at-home-laundry/ Rosemarie Griffin, MA, CCC/SLP BCBA, is an ASHA-certified speech-language pathologist and Board-Certified Behavior Analyst. She divides her time between a public school and her private practice, ABA Speech. She is the founder of ABA Speech, which offers therapy services, courses, consultations, and products geared towards helping autistic students find their voice. Rose is also the host of the Autism Outreach Podcast, a weekly show all about autism and communication. She is a sought-after speaker who enjoys connecting with audiences at the local, state, and national levels. Rose is passionate about the mission of ABA Speech, which is to help all students become more independent communicators.

Website: https://abaspeech.org/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abaspeech/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abaspeechbyrose/ Autism Outreach Podcast: https://abaspeech.org/autismoutreach-podcast/

At ABA Speech, we have a lot of different resources that help parents understand how to embed communication within their students’ day—so if you visit me on abaspeech.org, we have activities for if your child is younger and you’re working on cooking, and you want your child to be able to participate with you. Or, if you’re reading a book with your child, what does that look like? How can you do that in a way that’s going to support communication? We have answers for that too.

And then if you have older students in there helping out with laundry, which is a really great life skill, and one that I’m doing all the time, we have ideas for how you can embed communication, following directions, and increasing independence with those activities of daily living which are going to be very important for your students.

I hope that’s great information. If you want to hear more about autism and communication, make sure you visit me at abaspeech.org. I’ll include links to the freebies I mentioned, and I also have a podcast called Autism Outreach. With Autism Outreach, we talk about autism in communication from a variety of viewpoints. A new episode drops every Tuesday, and we have talks with speech therapists, BCBAs, autism moms, autistic individuals, OTs (occupational therapists), you name it. We’ve talked to everybody on the autism journey, and so every single week, we have a free new episode. It’s really fun to connect with people. A couple of our new episodes coming out are about AAC devices for apraxia, so really great information. If you have any questions, visit me at abaspeech.org.

KATE MAKES IT GREAT! ASK

KATE

YOUR

C.WILDE

QUESTIONS

Email submissions@exceptionalneedstoday.com with your questions and concerns regarding exceptional needs and our expert will respond through her column.

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 71

ANTI-BULLYING STRATEGIES

How to Talk to Your Child About Bullying

By Brett J. Novick, MS, LMFT, CSSW

“H

ey, fat boy!” Those words resonate with a sickening echo over the backdrop of my pleasant middle school memories.

Many of us can recall the shadow of our bullies in the existence of our academic experiences, and these never fade entirely with time. In recent years, with the increase of school violence and youth suicide, schools have turned an important eye towards the harmful effects of bullying. Bullying can no longer be the “rite of passage” that was an informal initiation to the full educational experience.

Talking to our children about bullying early is vital to preserve their school experience, maintain their mental health, and enhance their self-esteem. The following are some thoughts to help along that road:

1

TALK CALMLY AND WITHOUT EXCESSIVE EMOTIONS

Children associate emotional parents with upset parents and think they have done something wrong. As a result, they will close down and not share further information on bullying for fear of upsetting their parents.

2

ADDRESS THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN TATTLING ON A PEER AND TELLING

Bullying is often preserved under a veil of secrecy and fear that tattling will lead to peer ridicule. It is important to distinguish that bullying is a responsibility that must be deferred to adults to address immediately and always.

72 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

3

IF IT IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT PROBABLY IS

4

USE APPS TO MONITOR MOBILE COMMUNICATION

5

DISCUSS DIGITAL CITIZENSHIP AND SAFETY

Bullies often use targets as messengers for those actions they do not want to carry out themselves directly. Therefore, encourage your children not to carry verbal messages from other peers.

The majority of bullying now takes place via the internet on mobile devices. For a nominal fee, you can track texts and social media interactions if needed. Additionally, software filters can avoid potential sites of cyberbullying.

We all try to teach our children a basic level of street smarts and the dangers of the world around them. It is important to have a list of rules for digital citizenship usage in your family and that the use of technology is a privilege, not a right.

6

TEACH ASSERTIVENESS

Our children all span a range between passive to aggressive. The vast majority of our children fall in the middle or to-

ANTI-BULLYING STRATEGIES

7

DEVELOP SKILLS TO HANDLE CONFLICT

8

TEACH THEM NOT TO BE A MESSENGER OF BULLYING

The more tools a child has, the more they are able to handle potential issues. Encourage being able to walk away from conflict, moving towards playing with peers who prove to be kind. Do not continue to try to play with those who do not play well with you. When you are angry, walk away and cool down.

wards the passive side. The goal is to be somewhere in the middle (in the assertiveness range) of responding to conflict.

If someone is bothering them, it requires a three-step process: saying how you feel, why you feel that way, and what you need to solve the problem.

Teach children no one can read their thoughts, so they have to express them and a suggestion to solve the problem.

The old adage holds true. Ask yourself: Is it kind? Is it true?

Should you say it? Would that make your mom, dad, teacher, and yourself proud?

As our children grow, they will face life experiences that will be challenging and difficult. But, with the help of parents and other adults they trust, it will build character and strength.

Nothing offers more pride than seeing our children grow and develop into their own unique person.

Brett J. Novick, MS, LMFT, CSSW, holds a master’s degree in Family Therapy and post-degree certification in Social Work and Educational Administration. He is currently earning his doctorate in Education. He has worked as a school social worker/counselor for the last 20 years and is an adjunct instructor at Rutgers University and Stockton Universities.

Brett has been a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice while also serving in community mental health and substance abuse settings over the last two decades. Additionally, he has supervised in family counseling, school counseling, centers for abused and neglected children, and centers for adults and children with developmental disabilities. He has also been a licensed foster parent. Brett has authored eight educational, children’s, and self-help books. He has written for several national educational, parenting, and mental health magazines as well. He has presented nationally on the subjects of child behavior, education, and mental health. He has been humbled with awards for his work in education—the NJEA Martin Luther King Jr. Human and Civil Rights Award as well as the NJ Council on Developmental Disabilities Educator of the Year Award, the NJ State Governor’s Office Jefferson Award for Public Service, and District’s Teacher of the Year and Ocean County Counselor of the Year.

Website: https://www.brettsbooks.com/

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 73

STAYING FIT AND HEALTHY

Nature Notes We’re Going On a…

Scavenger Hunt!

H

By Amy Wagenfeld, PhD, OTR/L, SCEM, EDAC, FAOTA

appy September wishes! In honor of the magnificent transition between summer and fall, I thought it would be helpful to talk about more ways to get outside to learn, move, enrich our senses, socialize, and most of all, have fun. How can we achieve all of that? A scavenger hunt! A scavenger hunt

74 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

invites participants to use their powers of observation to find things inside or outside the home and in community settings.

While the typical way to conduct a scavenger hunt is to give each child or team a written list of items to find, that might not work well for all participants. In this installment of Nature

STAYING FIT AND HEALTHY

Notes, my goal is to share ideas for an inclusive scavenger hunt.

This is, of course, designed as an outside, nature-based scavenger hunt, but with a twist. So, are you ready to get started?

STEP ONE. Decide where your scavenger hunt will happen.

It could be in your yard, on your street, at a nearby park, or schoolyard. It needs to be a safe place your child can comfortably navigate in and that they enjoy.

STEP TWO. Make it whole-body. This means that when preparing a list of items to find, consider movement, thinking, sensation, and teamwork as appropriate for you and your child’s needs. Read on, as I will be sharing a sample scavenger hunt list and how I made it whole-body.

STEP THREE. Think about how you want to present the list. It could be a written list in a font size large enough for children with low vision to be able to read. It could be a list with only the simplest of cues, such as “tree” instead of “pine tree.” The list could contain only picture/image cues. It could contain words

and a picture. The list could be written on paper or programmed into a communication system. It could be an audio list. There are many options! Make a list that is doable—not too hard and containing so many items the hunt becomes overwhelming, but a nicely balanced challenge, a little bit of a stretch. No matter how many items your child finds, simply participating is a victory and worthy of great pride and praise.

STEP FOUR. Decide how you want your child to note having found an item. It could be checking it off, marking it with an X, or putting a sticker over the item on the list. It could be an audio recording of what has been found. It could be actually collecting an item and stowing it in a basket or bag. This is the least optimal option as it is best to leave nature alone—to view it, smell it, touch it, and then leave it be. The decisions in Steps Three and Four are yours to make, as you know your child’s needs best. Keeping it fun, engaging, and light-hearted is key.

STEP FIVE. Ready, steady, go! Gather up your participants and head out to your scavenger hunt location. Once there, explain the activity and set a time limit. Again, this is a decision that is left up to you, as you know your child’s abilities and needs best.

STEP SIX. Remember that I said there was a twist to this activity? If you do not have access to nearby safe nature or getting out is just not possible, create a window view scavenger hunt!

This variation could include looking for things such as birds, trees, squirrels, and clouds, to name a few. Viewing nature from indoors is a nice alternative to being in it.

STEP SEVEN. When the scavenger hunt ends, encourage your child to create stories about the experience. It could be a story composed of written words, a narrated story, a series of drawings, a video, or some kind of creative 3D art project like clay or sculpture.

As promised, below is a short and sweet sample list of items, and a few ways of finding these items are, in fact, whole-body fun. Be creative and expand the list to include nature items available in your area and tailor the activity to be appropriate for your child’s needs. Enjoy!

As with any nature-based activity, interacting with small objects is not appropriate for children under age three.

Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5 | 75

STAYING FIT AND HEALTHY

SCAVENGER HUNT ITEM —SIMPLE Tree

Stone

Pinecone

SCAVENGER HUNT ITEM —COMPLEX Tree with many branches Pine tree Smooth stone Shiny stone

Small pinecone Large pinecone

MOVE Hug the tree trunk Reach up and “touch” the top branch Squat down and pick up the stone and/or turn the stone over in your hands and move it between your right and left hand Reach up to the pine tree with both hands to touch a pinecone If there are pinecones on the ground, scoop them up and make a pinecone tower on the ground, a tabletop, bench, or chair, or wheelchair tray

THINK

SENSE

What color is the bark, the leaves?

Does it have flowers?

How does the bark feel?

What does the tree smell like?

What shape is the stone?

Is it smooth or rough?

What shape is the pinecone?

How many pinecones do you see?

Is the pinecone rough?

How does it smell?

Can you hold it in your hand without squishing it?

How does a leaf feel when you stroke it with your fingers? Does a leaf have a smell? Can you hear the leaves rustling in the breeze?

Leaf

Leaf with pointed edges Heart-shaped leaf

Dance like a leaf waving in the breeze

What color is the leaf? How many leaves are there? Are there big and little leaves?

Cloud

Lacy cloud Puffy cloud

Use your finger to trace the clouds in the sky

What shapes can you see?

Can you see clouds shaped like animals? What color are rain clouds?

What do you think clouds feel like?

Flower

Pink flower Flower with yellow petals

Gently pinch the flower petals without pulling any off the stem Bloom like a flower (keep your arms close to your body and then raise them out to the sides and up towards the sky)

Count the petals on a flower—where are they on the plant?

What does the flower smell like? Are the petals smooth and silky, or are they sticky?

Puddle

Shallow puddle Puddle on a sidewalk

Splash in the puddle Toss small stones into a puddle

How big is the puddle? Why are there puddles?

What sounds do you hear when splashing in the puddle or tossing stones into them?

Amy Wagenfeld, PhD, OTR/L, SCEM, EDAC, FAOTA, is Principal of Amy Wagenfeld | Design and Lecturer in the PostProfessional Occupational Therapy Doctoral Program at Boston University. She is a Fellow of the American Occupational Therapy Association and the Center for Health Systems and Design at Texas A&M University and holds evidence-based design accreditation and certification (EDAC) through the Center for Health Design, specialty certification in environmental modifications (SCEM) through the American Occupational Therapy Association, and certification in healthcare garden design through the Chicago Botanical Garden. Amy presents and publishes widely on topics relating access to nature and is co-author of the award-winning book Therapeutic Gardens: Design for Healing Spaces published by Timber Press.

When not designing gardens, researching, or developing garden and nature programs, Amy can be found happily digging in the dirt.

Website: www.amywagenfelddesign.com Blog: http://workjournal.org/nurture-through-nature Email: amy@amywagenfelddesign.com

76 | Exceptional Needs Today | Issue 5

YOU ARE NOT ALONE ON THIS JOURNEY JOIN US FOR FREE Our mission is to educate, support, and energize families, caregivers, educators, and professionals while preparing all families for a healthy future.

EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS TODAY

exceptionalneedstoday.com

ADVERTISE WITH US REACH YOUR BUSINESS GOALS MEDIA KIT advertising@exceptionalneedstoday.com

EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS TODAY