Both Lives | Pro-women, pro-life

We imagine a people and place that values the life and health of every woman and unborn child, and pursues the wellbeing of both.

#StandForBoth

Who

ARE WE? “In every pregnancy, there are at least two lives: a woman’s, and her baby’s – forever biologically and relationally connected. Both of those lives always matter. A culture that tells women that they can only thrive when they have the ability to terminate their children at will has a long way to go when it comes to equality, compassion and progress.”

– Dawn McAvoy, Both Lives lead UK Both Lives is a collaborative movement of individuals and organisations from diverse social, political and religious backgrounds. We began in 2017 as a campaign co-founded by the Evangelical Alliance in Northern Ireland and now exist as a UK-wide initiative of the Evangelical Alliance.

Our starting point in every pregnancy is to emphasise that both lives always matter. This profoundly simple core value helps us respond to and speak about the difficult and contentious issues of pregnancy crises and abortion. We reject all harmful ways of thinking that pit a pregnant woman against her unborn child. We stand in solidarity with both, championing laws which protect both, and advocating for the best care which serves both. We embody a compassion which is practical and 2

|

Both Lives

creative. We challenge ways of thinking that present abortion as the solution – ‘treating’ symptoms while leaving systemic and structural causes unresolved.

The most fundamental of all human rights is the right to life, a cornerstone of our existence. Abortion, the termination of an unborn life, conflicts with this right and is an incredibly sensitive issue for individuals, families and society. It touches upon our identity, relationships and beliefs – things we all care about deeply. It cuts to the heart of the ideas we hold about what it means to be human, free and equal. Abortion policy is complex and increasingly shaped by ideologies and opinions rather than evidence. However, the impact of various factors cannot be ignored – medicine and biology, law, broader culture, human rights and responsibilities, education, economics, religion and philosophy. The current public debate, if it happens at all, is increasingly polarised and too often does not serve the complexity of the issue well. In such polarising debates, women and their unborn children, who are most affected by abortion, become a secondary focus, as voices get louder, and debates become more volatile.

We don’t claim to have an easy solution to hard ethical dilemmas, but we do have hope for a better, more human way forward. A way that respects, protects, and includes both lives. This is too important to fight through a culture war. It’s time for a new conversation – we’d love for you to join us…

Stand with us

|

3

What does it mean to be pro-both?

We are pro-both lives in every pregnancy: the woman and her unborn baby. So, we advocate and work to build a more caring society that values the lives and health of women and unborn children and pursues the wellbeing of both.

WE STAND TOGETHER from every background, all faiths and none – we all have a role in valuing both lives.

WE STAND WITH women and unborn children, calling for world-leading support, services and legislation that seeks to protect the lives and health of both women and unborn children.

WE STAND FOR a life-affirming culture and the recognition and protection of every human life.

This short resource includes information on biological development, the law and statistics on abortion across the UK, and the voices of women and men who’ve been impacted by abortion. Our belief is in the value of every human life, and our desire to respond well to the lives impacted by abortion is informed by biblical teaching and values. In seeking to resource the church, we include a section for churches, outlining the role they can play in contributing to a culture that celebrates both lives.

4

|

Both Lives

CONTENTS Women matter

6

The 2%

10

Sexual crime

14

Values matter

17

Words matter

19

Numbers matter

21

Legislation matters

26

Stories matter

30

Men’s voices matter

34

Churches matter

36

God Unborn

39

Your voice matters

41 Stand with us

|

5

Women

MATTER It is women who have the biological potential to get pregnant, carry and give birth to children. And every pregnancy involves two lives – the woman and the unborn child. One of the greatest injustices of the last century for women and unborn children is that there has been a cultural shift on abortion. Once viewed as a rare but sometimes tragic necessity, only defensible in order to save a woman’s life, now unlimited abortion access is portrayed as the very symbol of freedom, progress and equality for women.

6

|

Both Lives

Those who oppose it are portrayed as oppressive, regressive and anti-women. Some campaigns, often led by those paid to carry out abortions, paint the decriminalisation of abortion as the last battle in a long series of hard-won legal rights for women, like the right to vote and equal pay. This way of thinking tells women, ‘You are only as free and equal as your decision to end the life of your unborn child’. Progress on women’s rights is strongly linked with the erosion of the right to life of unborn children.

This is a zero-sum game, which is exposed as confusing and dangerous when the practice of gender-selective abortions is considered, which are largely used to terminate female babies.

Born or unborn, it is women who are most at risk from abortion.

The negative social impact of over 50 years of pro-choice/ abortion laws and policies is clear from government and social data, and the lived experiences of women.1 Both Lives is more than a name. It explicitly sums up our core values. The woman and child remain connected in our thinking – reflecting the biological and social reality. We believe that progress for women means progress for their unborn children too. When women thrive, so do unborn children and vice versa. This is an inclusive, creative and compassionate way of thinking about progress and equality. It does not deny trauma, heartbreak or the frightening realities of a crisis pregnancy.

Instead, it stands in solidarity alongside women and unborn children in these moments, offering a more humane vision of what it means to be and live together.

1

righttolife.org.uk/knowledgebase/sex-selective-abortion

Stand with us

|

7

Lives matter – life before birth A picture says a thousand words. With technological advancements, pictures and videos clearly show us the humanity of the unborn baby and what is happening as a baby grows from conception towards birth. However, in this pro-choice culture, it can be disturbingly easy to separate in our minds the human dignity and inherent value Human embryo 5–6 weeks after fertilisation of these longed-for babies from those which are unwanted or unplanned, a ‘problem’ to be ended by abortion. Whether we call them babies or foetuses, whether they are planned and wanted or not, their lives are of equal worth to each other and to that of the mother.

Conception: Human life begins at conception. This is the point when fertilisation results in a new genetically and physically distinct human organism being formed. The new human DNA created from the sperm and egg coming together is unique. It has never existed before and will never exist again.

At this stage, the sex of the baby, hair and eye colour are determined. While people will argue about the value of this human life and when and whether it should be recognised and protected as a ‘person’, the existence of a new human life at conception is a fact which cannot be refuted.

8

|

Both Lives

From conception: 3 weeks The heart starts to beat.

6 weeks The brain sends messages around the body, and the baby is already over 100 times bigger than at conception.

8 weeks Limbs and organs are now developing, and the body is essentially completely formed.

10 weeks The baby now has nails and unique fingerprints and can make a fist.

12 weeks The baby responds to touch; is active, kicking and doing somersaults.

13 weeks The baby is sucking and swallowing amniotic fluid to exercise the lungs.

16 weeks The mother may feel the baby moving, and the baby can hear the mother’s voice.

24 weeks With proper medical care, babies born at this stage have a 60%–70% chance of survival.

Some have even survived from 22 weeks.

26 weeks Around this time, babies start to open their eyes and blink.

33 weeks The baby’s brain and nervous system are fully developed, and their bones continue to harden.

37 weeks The baby is full term and ready to be born.

Stand with us

|

9

The

2% In our respect for human life from its earliest form, as we seek to inform our understanding of and position on abortion, we need to better understand why women are having abortions. It is only then that we can even attempt to stand with both the mother and the unborn child and create better outcomes for both lives as an alternative to abortion.

In most conversations and in any public debate on abortion, the two areas of concern most commonly cited in support of abortion are for a negative fetal or maternal medical diagnosis, or in cases of pregnancy resulting from rape.

In response, we need to speak and respond with compassion, wisdom and understanding. We also need to approach this from a place of knowledge, and publicly available UK government data helps us to do that.

It is important to understand that in the UK 98% of abortions involve physically healthy women aborting physically healthy babies. This means that almost all abortions are performed for undiagnosed and undefined mental health reasons.2 In reality, this is abortion on request for socio-economic reasons.

2 10

|

Both Lives

gov.uk/government/statistics/abortion-statistics-for-england-and-wales-2021

Stand with us

|

11

Every life and every abortion are relevant to the conversation.

A compassionate and pro-both perspective respects and strives to provide for and enable both lives regardless of health, ability or circumstances of conception.

Disabilities and life-limiting conditions Some babies do not develop the way most of us do. A whole range of medical conditions, including physical and mental disabilities, can begin to unfold as the baby develops in the womb. Some conditions are considered medically minor, such as a cleft lip, while others can be so serious that the baby may not survive up to term. Scientific developments now mean that testing unborn babies for anomalies and disabilities is routine.

When the purpose is to treat the unborn child and to help the woman and family prepare for life with their child, these tests can be beneficial. However, in countries where legislation allows for abortion specifically for disability and/or non-specific reasons, abortion becomes common and normalised in cases of many disabilities. For example, up to nine out of ten babies in Great Britain are aborted when Down’s syndrome (Trisomy 21) is detected.3 It is difficult to see this as anything other than disability discrimination – something that would be considered unacceptable at any other time. In these instances, screening can become a means of ‘quality control’ and a threshold for life.

3 12 |

Both Lives

dontscreenusout.org

Life-limiting conditions Tragically, some parents are told during pregnancy that their baby is ill and depending on the medical condition will pass away in the womb or live only briefly after birth. Such diagnoses can devastate mothers, fathers and their families. In a small number of cases, some babies are misdiagnosed, which brings with it other devastating scenarios. In other cases, some are at the very mild end of the spectrum of the medical condition concerned.

These babies and their families deserve to be treated, spoken of and cared for with dignity regardless of any diagnosis. The term ‘fatal fetal abnormality’ may have some public recognition but it has no agreed medical or legal meaning. The term ‘life-limiting condition’ is consistent with international standards on perinatal palliative care.4 To communicate clearly the seriousness of the condition, but also that there is no certainty as to when the baby’s life will end, we prefer to use the phrase ‘life-limiting condition which may prove fatal’.

Creating legislation to allow abortion in cases of life-limiting disabilities presents complex ethical challenges and poses significant legal and medical complexities. These abortions do not demonstrate the best care for the unborn baby, or often the mother, and can lead to discrimination on the grounds of disability. Abortion does not solve the problem for the unborn child or mother. It is not a treatment for tragedy. In these moments, we empathise with the entire family – including the mother and unborn child. We are working to ensure that women facing these challenging circumstances receive the best support services and personal pathways of care, including perinatal hospice care and ongoing support services for the child’s lifetime. Parents in these situations often talk about how important this support is, however tragic the diagnosis and however short the time they have with their child.

4

elcpresentation.pdf (everylifecounts.ie)

Stand with us

|

13

Sexual

CRIME Rape and sexual crimes are some of the most serious abuses of human rights and dignity imaginable. These are horrific acts of violence against women, and we should stand with and for women and girls who have been abused. From the moment the sexual abuse was experienced, women require support, including throughout any subsequent pregnancy and beyond.

A degree of justice may be served in appropriate sentencing.

However, when a pregnancy results from rape, it is wrong and unhelpful to assume that specific access to abortion in these circumstances is what most women want or need.

Despite playing a pivotal role in pro-abortion campaigns, there is very limited data surrounding pregnancies resulting from sexual crime. Surprisingly, contrary to what we might expect, the limited available evidence suggests that the majority of women in such circumstances choose to keep their baby.5 In Victims and Victors: Speaking Out about Their Pregnancies, Abortions, and Children Resulting from Sexual Assault, Reardon (2000) states that, “out of 192 women interviewed who had become pregnant after rape or incest, nearly all (80%) who had an abortion regretted it. Over 90% of these said they

5 cmfblog.org.uk/2015/01/09/why-abortion-is-not-the-best-solution-forpregnancy-following-rape-or-incest/ 14 |

Both Lives

would discourage other victims of sexual violence from having an abortion.”6 Additionally, in 2011, The Rape Crisis Network Ireland has found that most women who become pregnant through rape or incest did not want an abortion. “In 90 cases of pregnancy through rape only 17 women and girls chose to have a termination.”7 These figures highlight the complexity of these cases, and challenge any assumption that abortion is the default choice or ‘solution.’

Abortion cannot undo the violation and abuse suffered and does not lead to justice. It must be remembered that abortion in itself is not care for women or medical treatment for rape or sexual crime. Compassion does not equal abortion.

Although abortion may be used as a justice argument in cases of sexual crime, it cannot provide justice in any meaningful way for the woman who has been harmed. Sexual crimes and rape are very serious, and so allegations of rape or sexual crime must be dealt with very sensitively, both for the alleged victim and the alleged perpetrator. These cases take time to prepare evidence; this is to ensure the best chance that due process and justice are served. Legally it is almost impossible to prove a rape has occurred through criminal conviction within the timescales required for an abortion. This is why very few countries have specific legislation in this area. In Ireland, the legislative solution for a pregnancy conceived through rape was to provide unlimited access to abortion in the first trimester.

We support more work on the broader cultural issues around rape and sexual crime. For example, education and development with young men and women around sexual crime, human dignity, human rights and violence against women. There must be continued support for and awareness of those offering 6 Reardon, D.C. and Sobie, A. eds., (2000). Victims and victors: Speaking out about their pregnancies, abortions, and children resulting from sexual assault. Acorn Books.

7 rcni.ie/rape-pregnancy-and-abortion-in-ireland-rcni-release-new-figures-today/ Stand with us

|

15

specific, expert and immediate care for women who have been sexually assaulted. Where a child is conceived through rape we advocate for legal protections from access to mother and child by the abuser. We also recognise the need for support systems, including parenting support for women and children who are survivors of intimate partner violence. Adoption and fostering are also life-affirming alternatives to abortion in these circumstances.

There can be healing and hope even in these very difficult situations.

16 |

Both Lives

Values

MATTER We all hold values – atheist or Christian, monarchist or republican, capitalist or socialist.

Family, nationality, culture and experience all shape what we think and do. For some people, it is their religious beliefs, for others, their belief in human rights drives and shapes their core principles and values. Often, these beliefs overlap and are not exclusive to each other.

Tug of war

Pro-life

At odds

Pro-choice Stand with us

|

17

Abortion, the deliberate ending of an unborn baby’s life, will always be controversial because it is a matter of life and death. Abortion raises questions about women’s rights, bodily autonomy, care for the vulnerable, freedom and equality, justice and compassion, dignity and humanity. It is about human rights and responsibility, the tension between the obligation of the state to protect life and the limits of individual freedom.

When it comes to abortion, the practical working out of these values can be difficult and complex. However, it is increasingly presented as a simple tug of war, where women only win when unborn children lose the protection of their lives. The innate relationship between a woman and her unborn child is severed, and they are pitted against each other in a battle of rights.

We are supported by many people from across the political, ideological and religious spectrum who share a consistent, rational position of protecting human life before birth. We are upfront about our values, which protect both lives, but that does not equate to imposing our views or beliefs on anyone. Every law reflects some value which society holds. The law will often limit some personal actions to protect other citizens, the wider common good or future generations. We all support laws that align with our values around theft, paying taxes, or littering – this is not imposition but an agreement on boundaries for how we live best together.

On the same team

What’s good for mother is good for child

18

|

Both Lives

Words

MATTER We seek to be sensitive and honest in our language.

We recognise the distressing situations some women find themselves in and the decisions they make.

We are not indifferent or blind to tragedy. We speak to build value in people, not tear them apart. Abortion dehumanises – literally. The language of some of those who seek to further abortion mirrors this reality. Words are used which make it easier to ignore the humanity of those involved.

We will not dehumanise those who oppose our belief in the value of both lives in pregnancy, but neither will we shy away from naming things truthfully.

In the language of abortion activists, women become ‘vessels’ or ‘life-support machines’, and unborn babies become ‘parasites’ or ‘products of conception’. Words like ‘mother’ and ‘baby’ are only used when the baby is wanted, otherwise the baby remains a ‘foetus’ or ’embryo’ – technically and scientifically correct but relationally void.

‘Choice’ is used as a euphemism for the unlimited freedom to decide to end the life of an unborn baby. Those who oppose abortion are told to ‘stop forcing their views on everyone else’; the implication is that any other belief is oppressive. In fact, those who support abortion are themselves forcing their views on others, leading to the oppression of the most vulnerable, the unborn child who has no voice.

Stand with us

|

19

We seek to shift the narrative towards life and flourishing.

We deliberately speak of babies as tiny family members. We do not entertain the negative and dehumanising language of ‘fatal foetal abnormality’ – instead we use the phrase ‘babies with a life-limiting condition’. We extend humanity and dignity to each baby whether or not they are wanted, using the inclusive language of family and community.

Imagine

better

20 |

Both Lives

Numbers

MATTER According to the World Health Organisation, around 73 million induced abortions take place worldwide each year. Six out of ten (61%) unintended pregnancies, and three out of ten (29%) of all pregnancies end in induced abortion.

The Department of Health reported that in 2021, there were

214,869 abortions in England and Wales, the highest since records began.

Stand with us

|

21

In Great Britain, the majority (98%) of abortions are carried out under “Ground C”, with the vast majority (99.9%) of abortions carried out under Ground C alone reported as being performed because of a risk to the woman’s mental health.8

This means that 98% of abortions involve physically healthy women aborting physically healthy babies as almost all abortions are performed for undefined mental health reasons.

In reality this is abortion on request.9 “Ground E” abortions are those performed because of fetal abnormality at any gestation up to birth. There were 3,370 abortions performed under Ground E in 2021.

87%

43%

(pills rather than surgery).

for women with at least one

82%

previous abortion.

women whose marital status

of parents who found out

were chemical abortions

of abortions in 2021 were for was given as single.

of abortions in 2021 were

74%

they were having a baby with Down’s syndrome decided to abort their baby.

8 gov.uk/government/statistics/abortion-statistics-for-england-and-wales-2021 9 gov.uk/government/statistics/abortion-statistics-for-england-and-wales-2021 22

|

Both Lives

100,000 LIVES MATTER: LAWS SAVE LIVES An estimated 100,000 individuals in Northern Ireland are alive today who would not be if Northern Ireland had introduced the 1967 Abortion Act.

Stand with us

|

23

PEOPLE ARE ALIVE TODAY BECAUSE OF OUR LAWS ON ABORTION Why change that?

Stand with us BOTHLIVESMATTER.ORG Our campaign launch billboard from 2017

When we launched in 2017, there had been a 50-year legacy of different abortion laws between Northern Ireland and the rest of the UK. England, Wales and Scotland had introduced more liberal laws in 1967.

Northern Ireland had not, and we wanted to see if this resulted in any meaningful differences.

We compared abortion rates, taking into account a whole range of factors, including the numbers of women who travelled to Great Britain from Northern Ireland for abortions. We were able to estimate that more than 100,000 people were alive in Northern Ireland specifically because the 1967 Abortion Act or similar legislation was not introduced there. That’s 100,000 people, known and loved because of laws around abortion which protected both women and unborn children as far as humanly possible.

We thought this figure was good news, so we produced and launched a report and some billboards in January 2017 to tell everyone about it. A small number of people complained to the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), questioning our figures and methodology. The ASA’s role is to ensure that the public is not misled regarding advertising, so they investigated our 24 |

Both Lives

claim and the methodology used in the report. This involved a detailed assessment of all the evidence by an independent health care statistician. Their finding was that there was a “reasonable probability” that 100,000 individuals are alive who would not be if Northern Ireland had introduced the 1967 Abortion Act. Although that life-affirming law in Northern Ireland was removed by Westminster in 2019, these 100,000 lives still stand as a marker, reminding us that laws matter.

At the time of publication, a framework for monitoring, recording and reporting abortion rates in Northern Ireland had not yet been established. Based on Freedom of Information (FOI) requests, as of 20 October 2023, 6,924 abortions have been performed in Northern Ireland since the new abortion law came into effect at the end of March 2020. By tracking the trajectory of annual abortions for women residents in Northern Ireland since the law change, we can see that the abortion rate is increasing. If this rate of increase continues, the total number in 2024 could reach 3,000, which would mean abortion rates for Northern Ireland will have tripled since the new law was introduced.

See: ‘ASA ruling on both lives matter’, Advertising Standards Authority, published 2 August 2017.10

10

asa.org.uk/rulings/both-lives-matter-a17-370344.html Stand with us

|

25

Legislation

MATTERS England, Scotland, and Wales: For many years, there has been a legal defence for abortion when a mother’s life is at risk.11

The history of abortion regulations in England, Scotland, and Wales began its modern trajectory with the Abortion Act of 1967.

This act legalised abortion on a number of grounds, up to an implied 28 weeks’ gestation. This time frame was determined by the Infant Life (Preservation) Act of 1929, which prohibited abortions of foetuses deemed capable of being born alive – a criterion met at 28 weeks.

In 1990, the landscape shifted with the introduction of the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act.12 This legislation reduced the gestational limit for abortions to 24 weeks, a change backed by MPs due to medical advancements that improved survival rates of prematurely born infants. This Act also removed the 28-week restriction for abortions in cases of “severe” foetal disabilities, permitting such abortions until 11 Herring, J. (2018) Medical law and ethics. New York: Oxford University Press.

See also: legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Geo5/19-20/34 12 legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1990/37/section/37 See also bothlivesmatter.org/abortion-rates-have-almost-doubled-in-ni-in-thelast-three-years-since-abortion-law-was-changed percuity.blog/2023/11/08/abortion-laws-matter/ 26 |

Both Lives

birth. Additionally, it amended provisions for situations where a woman’s life faced severe and permanent mental or physical risk, allowing abortion up to birth. In 2008, efforts to amend the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act emerged, aiming to decrease the abortion limit to 22, 20, 16, or 12 weeks. However, none of these suggestions were adopted.

In summary:

Up to 24 weeks Abortions performed under Ground C: “That the pregnancy has not exceeded its 24th week and that the continuance of the pregnancy would involve risk, greater than if the pregnancy were terminated, of injury to the physical or mental health of the pregnant woman.”13

Post 24 weeks Abortion is allowed up to birth in specific situations, such as when there is a risk to the mother’s life, or to prevent grave, permanent injury to the mother’s health (physical and/or mental health) or the child might be born with a disability (“as to be seriously handicapped” – 1990 legislation).

“The gross perversion and destruction of motherhood by the abortionist filled me with indignation, and awakened active antagonism.”

– Elizabeth Blackwell, the first woman to receive a medical degree in the US

13 gov.uk/government/statistics/abortion-statistics-for-england-and-wales-2021/ abortion-statistics-england-and-wales-2021 Stand with us

|

27

Scotland Although the Scotland Act of 2016 made abortion a devolved issue, Scotland continues to adhere to the 1967 Abortion Act, thereby aligning with the same regulations as England and Wales.

Northern Ireland The rules governing abortion in Northern Ireland were more restrictive between 1967 and 2019. Abortion was prohibited unless the mother’s life was at risk. This changed in 2019, when Westminster introduced legislation legalising abortion, despite abortion being a devolved issue and facing significant opposition across Northern Ireland.

The Executive Formation (Northern Ireland) Act 2019, decriminalised abortion, and a new abortion regime was introduced. This new regime allows abortion in the following circumstances:

Up to 12 weeks For any reason (no reasons are required or recorded).

12–24 weeks Unspecified mental or physical health reasons.

Up to birth For a disability (this is not defined and could include minor conditions such as cleft lip or club foot).

28

|

Both Lives

The Abortion Services (Safe Access Zones) Act (Northern Ireland) 2023 introduced buffer zones around premises that provide abortion. This legislation “prohibits anti-abortion protests and other specified behaviour. It is an offence to do anything, intentionally or recklessly, in a safe access zone which has the effect of influencing a person attending an abortion clinic or other protected premises for protected purposes. There is no defence.”14 Eight such zones are now established across all five health trusts.

In June, the Relationships and Sexuality Education Regulations 2023 introduced a UN CEDAW Committee (The Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women) recommendation into law, that young people at key stage three and four should receive “age-appropriate, comprehensive and scientifically accurate education on sexual and reproductive health and rights covering prevention of early pregnancy and access to abortion”.

“When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit.”

– Elizabeth Cady Stanton, 1815–1902

14

supremecourt.uk/cases/uksc-2022-0077.html Stand with us

|

29

Stories

MATTER Stories matter because they are the fabric of human connection and understanding. They can inspire and educate, by sharing experiences, emotions, and perspectives. Through stories, we gain insight into diverse lives, cultures, and struggles, fostering empathy and breaking down barriers.

Every pregnancy journey is unique because every woman and every unborn baby is unique. On our website, you will find stories from women and men – their lived experiences of hope, disappointment, loss, compassion and life.

Do you have a story about both lives that you’d like to share? We would love to hear from you!

30

|

Both Lives

I am so thankful that I didn’t have the option of doing something I’d regret.

I wish I could go back in time and tell myself how full my life would be. I wish I could go back and tell myself that there was hope.

Getting pregnant at 18 didn’t mean my life was over. It meant that I get to do life with Reuben.

Rebecca’s story

Stand with us

|

31

One thing I would say to any woman considering abortion is – do not take life for granted. As women we assume that there will be another chance to conceive but life is unpredictable and what if this is the only opportunity you have in life to conceive.

Beth’s story

“We were hearing the heartbeat of our baby. Of course, that heart had been beating for months, unheard by anyone else, inside the womb. But hearing it for the first time brought home to us how this was an individual person, totally dependent on its mother, and yet already has a separate heartbeat and its own identity.

Because we recognise that even the most fragile human life has an immeasurable value.

The basic concept behind all human rights law, including major international treaties, is that a human life has an objective worth that is not derived from whether they are valued by others or not.”

Nick’s story

32

|

Both Lives

“My unplanned pregnancy became my greatest blessing, and I am only one of thousands of women who would say the same if asked.”

Anonymous

“Able-bodied politicians don’t have to live with the discrimination that abortion causes but I do. And if I’m led to believe that I shouldn’t have been born, how can I be expected to fight for a fairer and more equal society?

Does a fairer society look like one without me?”

Andrew’s story

The abortion laws being as they were in Northern Ireland at that time undoubtedly saved my son’s life. If an abortion clinic had been available to me on the day I found out I was pregnant, I would have visited it. I am so thankful it wasn’t – it breaks my heart to think of the decision I almost made.

My son is 18 now – and more wanted than he will ever know.

Janine’s story

Stand with us

|

33

Men’s voices

MATTER

During the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s, the abortion industry made a calculated decision to align itself with the (second wave) feminist movement, understanding that the harsh realities of abortion necessitated such an alliance to garner societal acceptance. This strategic manoeuvre allowed them to predominantly frame abortion as a “women’s issue,” sidelining its broader importance as a matter of human rights. Unfortunately, this divisive stance has dampened the confidence of many proboth men in openly expressing their beliefs.

Men’s voices matter in the abortion debate for several compelling reasons, despite the predominantly gendered nature of this discourse. Recognising and including men in these conversations enriches the dialogue and contributes to a more comprehensive and balanced understanding of the complex ethical, social, and political issues surrounding abortion. The impact of abortion extends beyond the unborn baby and mother; it is a legal and ethical issue that affects everyone in society.

Decisions about abortion can have a significant impact on family dynamics and relationships.

Qualitative research has shown that the profound grief over losing a child in 34 |

Both Lives

fatherhood can persist for many years after an abortion. This was highlighted in a study by Coyle & Rue (2015a), which included remarks such as:

“I cannot describe the emptiness of the fatherhood lost. The loss of honour and self-respect in skirting my responsibility to be a father, not to mention taking my own child’s life, is a very heavy burden.”

(28 years post-abortion).15 In democratic societies, policy and legislation are often shaped by collective input. Excluding men from the debate could lead to policies that do not fully consider the complexity of the issue and its impact on society as a whole.

Men have an essential role to play in supporting both lives. We can’t forget that it takes a man and a woman to make a baby. Men are husbands, partners, fathers, brothers and friends. Their emotional and practical support can make all the difference to a woman facing pregnancy crisis and considering abortion. For too long, some have abdicated themselves from responsibility or been silenced in the conversation, but men can play a crucial role in enabling women and their unborn babies to flourish.

On our website you’ll find several stories from a male perspective.

15 Coyle, Catherine T., and Vincent M. Rue. ‘A Thematic Analysis of Men’s Experience With a Partner’s Elective Abortion.’ Counseling and values 60.2 (2015): 138–150. Web.

Stand with us

|

35

Churches

MATTER The Both Lives campaign is an initiative of the Evangelical Alliance. We are committed to creating a pro-both ethos that affirms and supports women and their children (pre and post birth) in their community.

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Matthew 25:40

36

|

Both Lives

The church is the most important contributor in offering a better story to society than abortion.

As Christians, we celebrate the value of every human life because every human being from conception has inherent dignity, value and worth, regardless of age, stage, ability, health or circumstances of conception, simply because they are made in God’s image and bear His likeness.

The Both Lives message has always reflected biblical teaching and values. Our starting point is that every pregnancy involves at least two lives, and the belief that both always matter. In their simplest form, our core values are that abortion is theologically a sin and morally wrong (outside of the double-effect of medical necessity to save the life of the woman).

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Ephesians 2:10

The church should speak sensitively and carefully on this issue because it impacts women who may be vulnerable as a result of having an abortion or considering one. In such instances they may benefit from hearing this difficult and challenging message in words that offer hope, forgiveness and restoration.

In the society we live in, the idea of any limit on bodily autonomy will be inherently offensive to many. The church therefore should stand firmly on the truth that all life has inherent dignity and value from the moment of conception.

Stand with us

|

37

We don’t want to see the UK church following a more fundamentalist-partisan-political line when it comes to this issue. However, neither can the UK church remain silent and apathetic, or even concede to claims that God affirms, or doesn’t care about abortion. We want to help the church speak up compassionately and prophetically with a better story than abortion for both women and children.

The connected and inseparable truth of God’s design for the flourishing and wellbeing of humankind, as being within the marriage of one man and one woman, and with any children (biological, adopted or fostered) being a blessing and a gift, is being devalued and redefined in a post-Christian society.

Without consistency in church teaching and understanding about human dignity and God’s design, there will be an impact on decisions about family planning, contraceptives, IVF and abortion.

Is the church in danger of losing the profound and beautiful truth that God gives dignity and value to His image-bearers from conception, evidenced by His joining us in that state? If the church does not model the better story for women, men and children, family and community, who will? If the church doesn’t invite people to think differently, speak different stories and offer life-affirming alternatives to women considering termination, who will?

In the difficult circumstances of an unexpected or crisis pregnancy, the church, in its broadest sense and in its intimate community network, can offer hope to both lives, inspiring and enabling women to choose life.

That is why we stand with the church and say that together we can tell a better story and create a better future for both lives. A story and future that loves the lost and serves the least, as Jesus commanded.

38 |

Both Lives

GOD UNBORN When Christians celebrate the Incarnation, they remember the awesome truth of God the Son being fully human, and that Jesus joined us in all our vulnerability, fragility and dependence! We celebrate Christ’s birth at Christmas, but it’s important to remember and acknowledge that – unlike GOD UNBORN: much of our commentary – He didn’t Mary said yes... actually come at Christmas! Instead, He began His human journey pre-birth and developed in the same way we did until He was born.

With this series of resources, we invite you to join with us in thinking about what that truth means, about God’s heart for both lives in pregnancy, and how we understand our place in His design.

Devotional resource

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

John 1:14

bothlives.co.uk/god-unborn

Stand with us

|

39

The Both Lives approach We not only support the church but also wider society in challenging the belief that abortion is the best solution we can provide for women.

Every abortion ends a human life, and many women suffer from abortion regret. We challenge society’s acceptance that abortion should be based on choice alone, because we believe both lives matter. That is why care should be available to any woman facing pregnancy crisis and to any woman who has had an abortion and struggles with post-abortion regret. We want to help women come to terms with their choices and find hope and healing.

Both Lives is more than a voice of protest. We also want to enable women to choose life for their baby and in the best circumstances to do life with their baby. Our belief is that effective and continued support through and after pregnancy enables women to choose life and not abortion. A Both Lives perspective affirms women in their motherhood, regardless of the circumstances of pregnancy. It will equip women by directing them to the available care, support, and practical help they need before, during and after pregnancy. It empowers women to choose a life-affirming path for themselves and their babies. Ultimately, a Both Lives perspective promotes an ethos of life throughout the community, seeking to create a better story around pregnancy for women and their unborn children.

We commit to advocating and promoting real, life-affirming choices that enable both lives because we believe we all deserve better than abortion.

If you would like to request for a speaker to attend an event or small group please email us at: stand@bothlives.co.uk

40 |

Both Lives

Your voice

MATTERS Creating a culture that is pro-both lives requires us to step out of our comfort zone. We must be emboldened to speak out and stand up for both lives, walking with women and supporting them through the crisis many face in pregnancy.

Being pro-both means more than saying “no” to abortion. We must also say “yes” to life. To do this, we speak to government and society about the wrongs of abortion. Will you join with us? Are you a student or teacher, a church or youth leader, a healthcare professional, or a concerned citizen? Our website is designed to help you speak, act and share: bothlives.co.uk/ get-involved Enabling lives to thrive requires a focus on developing and promoting life-affirming services and a culture that enables women to choose life for their baby in pregnancy and enables both mother and child to live well after the birth.

Services may include practical support during and after pregnancy, counselling and emotional support, financial assistance, mental health support, especially regarding perinatal and postnatal mental health, and much more.

Both Lives signposts to charities and organisations that are providing help and support to women and families facing a crisis in pregnancy. These can be accessed on our services page: bothlives.co.uk/services Stand with us

|

41

Speak up Too many people have been silenced by the accusation that they are forcing their views on others. We do not impose, we humbly propose. We advocate not for our own interests but for the vulnerable and the wellbeing of society. So, we encourage you to talk about this issue, graciously, respectfully – around the dinner table, in the office, with family and friends and beyond.

Stir in others a passion to protect life and see better pregnancy crisis care. Shape the debate and be part of the conversation.

One person at a time Become part of our ‘one person at a time’ movement and change the conversation. If 50 people each talk to one person about why both lives matter each month, and each new person does the same, in the course of a year that conversation started by 50 people will have reached over 100,000 people. Small steps can change culture, one person at a time. Who will you talk to next?

STAND WITH: Draw alongside and support those experiencing pregnancy crisis.

STAND FOR: Campaign for better pregnancy crisis services, better relationships and education for the longer term.

Advocate by writing to and offering to meet with your locally elected representatives.

STAND READY: Educate yourself and others by researching the issue and speaking wisely.

42

|

Both Lives

There are lots more resources on our website: bothlives.co.uk

Stand with us

|

43

bothlives.co.uk stand@bothlives.co.uk 028 90 739079 

@bothlives

 @bothlivesuk