WHY I LIKE CATS

does not leap at your midriff, sniffing, snorting, slobbering, snarling and pawing at your legs. It remains asleep in a chair.

Third, cats are discreet about crapping ­ normally burying it, where circumstances allow. They don’t crap all over the streets, parks and beaches and are not allowed in bars and restaurants. They also take great pains to keep themselves clean and therefore they don’t stink.

Fourth, cats are independent. They find their own form of exercise and don’t require daily walks in the rain, the snow or blazing heat. They don’t require a licence of ownership or a tag, and a driver who hits a cat on the road and kills it is not required to report the fact.

Fifth, and most important, cats never kill babies or children. Obviously, big cats are another matter,