NO MORE JOKES ABOUT TEXANS?

I HAVE just heard of yet another tragic mass shooting in Texas; this time eight people gunned to their deaths in a shopping centre in Dallas. This is the city where President Kennedy was assassinated 60 years ago. And yet, the gun lobby enjoys majority support, nowhere more than in this gun­toting state. Explaining to Texans that universal gun ownership equals innocent deaths is like trying to teach a giraffe to play basketball.

An American acquaintance told me that there are proposals in some states to monitor and discourage jokes about Texans. If this is true then political correctness is alive and flourishing.

Jokes have abounded about other groups of people ­ often those of neighbouring nationalities. They have been directed against Dutch, Norwegians and Scots (for perceived meanness) and Americans, Irish, Poles and East Silesians (for alleged stupidity). And, of course, the Texans.

The foreman on a building site in Texas shouted “Hey Chip! Bring me a wheelbarrow.” Five minutes later Chip returned, wheeling a large wheelbarrow with a smaller one inside it. “Chip! I asked for one wheelbarrow, not two.” “Well, did you expect I was gonna carry the darn thing?” OK; this may or may not have happened.

However, I have personally met a Texan who believed that Jesus Christ was an American, and I know he wasn’t joking. Surveys have shown that a disturbing number of Americans think that both Jesus Christ and Christopher Columbus were Americans. And then we had the reaction to Corona virus. In Texas there was a dramatic drop in the sale of Corona Mexican beer for fear that it would pass on the virus. But we have learned so much from our American friends, as we adopt their culture ­ not just by murdering people in schools. We eat hamburgers, drink beer from