NO MORE JOKES ABOUT TEXANS?

the evolution and the mutilation of a language. The British have amusing expressions such as “Everton are pants” and “Johnson is toast”. The misuse of a word or the invention of a new one is another matter. A loo or lavatory is not a ‘bathroom’ or ‘restroom’. ‘He sucks’ should not mean he’s unpleasant. ‘Woke’ should not mean socially aware. ‘And stuff’ should not mean etcetera. ‘Cool’ should not mean impressive.

The foreman on a building site in Texas shouted “Hey Chip! Bring me a wheelbarrow.” Five minutes later Chip returned, wheeling a large wheelbarrow with a smaller one inside it. “Chip! I asked for one wheelbarrow, not two.” “Well, did you expect I was gonna carry the darn thing?” OK; this may or may not have happened.

However, I have personally met a Texan who believed that Jesus Christ was an American, and I know he wasn’t joking. Surveys have shown that a disturbing number of Americans think that both Jesus Christ and Christopher Columbus were Americans. And then we had the reaction to Corona virus. In Texas there was a dramatic drop in the sale of Corona Mexican beer for fear that it would pass on the virus. But we have learned so much from our American friends, as we adopt their culture ­ not just by murdering people in schools. We eat hamburgers, drink beer from bottles, watch American football, become obese, hold hot gospel church services and address our friends as “you guys”.

We choose an American slavery song for England’s rugby world cup theme (‘Swing low, sweet chariot’). In 1996 Leeds rugby team was renamed Leeds Rhinos in deference to American football teams such as Chicago Bulls. And the once­stoic British now weep during television interviews.

There is a difference between

Nevertheless, most of the ‘progress’ in recent years has been in technology. Through computers, smart phones, numerous information and communication platforms and space research, we can achieve so much without the intervention of humans. Here, Americans have been at the forefront.

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