NEWS FLASH: NEW FOREIGN SPECIES SPOTTED IN SPAIN!

Norajohnson Breakingviews

“ IT’S that time of year,” Sir David Attenborough will breathily tell you, “when you first really start to see them.” Tourists, that is. After all, they’re the easiest to recognise as a species. They’re the pasty­looking white blobs on the beachunless it’s been unusually hot and they’re red as lobsters and being given the kiss of life by paramedics.

They’re the ones who hold you up. On the roads because they don’t know where they’re going. In supermarkets because they’re counting out their change. In restaurants because they’re confused about the difference between salmón and salmonete but, in any case, would prefer burger and chips.

If the weather suddenly turns bitterly cold and showery, they’re still dressed for summer. In summer, they’re the ones wandering around shops, streets and restaurants with hardly a stitch on.

Tourists could never be mistaken for two other species you encounter in Spain. The newly arrived expats and the long­term expats. The former you’ll see enthusiastically attending every Spanish class, Flamenco, bull fight and obscure feria and club imaginable.

Whereas long ­ term expats are the complete opposite and the hardest to spot. They dress like the Spanish, wear