Names

What’s in a name?

Have you noticed the recent trend of giving babies names once regarded as “old people” names? Names such as Elsie, Mabel, Maud, Archie, George, Matilda, Oliver, Violet and Charlotte. Even biblical names are rising among non-believers with Noah, Elijah and Isaiah listed in 2025’s top names.

Do parents consider the potential agony, bullying, and shame they might bestow on their children for decades to come?

As a teacher, I despaired for little ones with double-barrelled names, especially if the surname was also hyphenated. Poor little Penelope-Suzanne Harrington-Simmonds. The lesson was over before she finished writing her moniker.

More suffering came with pronunciation. “I am NOT Penny-lope!” She gladly opted for “Penny,” which raises another recent trend. Many youngsters today are deprived of their full name and only have a ‘nickname’ which once denoted servants or lower classes. The regal Henry is just Harry, Katherine is plain Kate, John is Jack, William is Billy, Elizabeth is Lizzie or Beth, and Margaret is simply Meg or Maggie, while Georgina is Georgie.

Spelling is another nightmare for children and teachers. When parents themselves misspell their child’s name, it causes even more stress. Phoebe, Johnathon, Michael are often victims, but the beautiful Irish name Siobhán is diminished to Shavawn, Shebahn, Shevaun and Shivaun. Thankfully, St John (Sinjun) and Cholmondeley (Chumley) have vanished.

Recently, a Texan mother sued a school for humiliating her daughter by mispronouncing her name. The girl’s name was written Lee-ah. Teachers called her ‘Leah’. The mother yelled in court, “It’s LEEDASHAH!” The judge ruled the mother was the problem.

Teachers beg parents to realise that Hayden, Brayden and Jayden have become confusingly generic, and children also cannot distinguish between Audrey and Aubrey. Perhaps names do affect personality and future behaviour. I have taught Rory, Hurricane, Tempest and Storm who all lived up to their name. Check the name’s meanings: Mara means bitterness; Brenna – sorrow; Aiden – volatile; and Tristan - sadness.

When young, I was punished for asking my mother’s friend Dawn if her name changed to Sunset when she reached 60.

Eileen was popular when I was born. Today everyone has an elderly Aunt Eileen, but I’ve yet to discover one under 70. Seeing it written down, people pronounce it Elaine, Aileen or Ellen. Be wary of popular names which date, such as a favourite singer, movie star, celebrity or their offspring. In 50 years’, there will be a plethora of Shanias, Taylors, Rhiannas, Beyoncés queuing at Centrelink.

Noah tops the list of Australian boys’ names this year, with Amelia for girls. In the UK it’s Muhamed and Olivia, while in the US Liam and Olivia are number one. These too will date their owners.

Will wealth alone compensate those among Elon Musk’s 14 children with the unfortunate names of Seldon Lycurius, Techno Mechanicus, Exa Dark Sidrael, RSC, Strider and X AE A-X11? Remember to name your children carefully. One day they may choose your nursing home!

Eileen Walder