THERE’S SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT BASEBALL IN TAMPA BAY. It started with a little boy dreaming of playing baseball. This boy, AL LOPEZ, became Tampa’s first Major League player, manager, and Hall of Fame inductee. Now, his rehabilitated childhood home is getting ready to welcome fans to celebrate more than 130 years of local baseball heritage. Nearly 90 professional players from Tampa will be honored, along with the people and places that shaped them. Local baseball traditions will shine at the TAMPA BASEBALL MUSEUM at the AL LOPEZ HOUSE when it opens… and stand alongside some of the best baseball towns in the nation.
AL LOPEZ
STEP UP TO THE PLATE! Please join our efforts to ensure that Tampa Bay’s baseball memories play on to inspire future generations! With six new exhibits in the works, community support means everything to our game. Your donation today at www.TampaBaseballMuseum.org will help get us to home plate. All donations will be matched 100% by a Hillsborough County Historic Preservation Grant, doubling the value of your generous contribution.
Located in Historic Ybor City P.O. Box 5421 • Tampa, FL • 33605
813.247.1434 www.TampaBaseballMuseum.org
The Tampa Baseball Museum at the Al Lopez House is owned by the Ybor City Museum Society, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization Federal Tax ID No. 59-2274494.
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PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf FOOD CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge
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CONTRIBUTORS Caroline DeBruhl, Asher Montgomery, Stephanie Powers, Jenna Rimensnyder, Cory Robinson, Dan Savage, McKenna Schueler, Eric Snider INTERNS Nora O’Neill
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PHOTOGRAPHERS Chandler Culotta, Dave Decker, Yvonne Gougelet, Rod Millington
SeaWorld in February, animal rights SENIOR ACCOUNT claiming the practice of keeping wild EXECUTIVES dangerous. But even though public Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda t SeaWorld animal rights many don’t in seeFebruary, a parallel between the kind , and claiming the practice of keeping wild the MARKETING, practice of displaying animals AND PROMOTIONS nd dangerous. evenOr though public asking for tooBut much? is it time for a , many don’t see EVENTS a parallel DIRECTOR between the kind t” animals? Alexis Quinn Chamberlain
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TheWill ListAstrology .......................................................... Free .........................................46 64 euclidmediagroup.com
Movie ........................................................... reviews..................................................... 63 Puzzler 66 cltampa.com
TPD’s use of force among CL’s most read topics of 2020, p. 32.
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clspace.com Savage Love ...................................................... 69 EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa is a weekly newspaper covering public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum. They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.
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Lost, for now
Find something to hold onto as 2020 slips away. By Asher Montgomery and another generation cometh but the Earth abideth forever.” ••• This issue was supposed to be a collection of community reflections about 2020, but reading that one above led me to abandon the idea. In April, Asher Montgomery broke a human interest story for her newspaper, Hillsborough High School’s HHS Today, where she is a coeditor-in-chief. The piece was about Corey Jurgensen, who periodically walked around Tampa’s Seminole Heights neighborhood in an inflatable unicorn costume. Jurgensen spread joy wherever she went, unknowingly providing a shred of levity before all our neighborhoods would start to collectively and uniquely endure what’s been nine nerve-wracking months of life with coronavirus. Nine days after Montgomery’s story went online, the Tampa Bay Times published its own
CL’s final issue of the year is all about that bullshit. I am optimistic person, but 2020 has me feeling like I’m limping into whatever’s on the other side of Dec. 31. That’s why I was also empowered by Montgomery referencing both Gertrude Stein and Hemmingway’s “The Sun Also Rises” to remind readers that, like the dude, the Earth will also abideth forever, and that her “lost generation” is the one that’ll truly be tasked with dealing with what’s coming next. I don’t know if Montgomery’s “lost generation” will end up drenched in the same debauched sauce from last century’s Roaring ‘20s, but I’m relieved that there are people like her willing to not just write the stories but to also help make sense of it all and find some hope in the sadness, too. Personally, I’m worried about what next year holds, but I’ll gladly follow folks and leaders like Asher Montgomery into the abyss. —Ray Roa
“My generation is disoriented and lost, draped in a blanket of anxiety and hopelessness.”
MORISSEY MONTGOMERY
W
e were learning about the First World War in history class right before our world collapsed. We were studying the imperialization and militarization that led to war, the deaths that came from it and the deals made to end it. We took the unit test on the day before we were let go for spring break, and we didn’t come back. We lost the school year. We lost graduation parties. We lost the in-person connection with teachers and peers. We lost learning as we knew it. I’ve been thinking about that word: lost. The phrase “The Lost Generation” was coined by Gertrude Stein, who heard it used by a garage owner in France when a young mechanic took too long to fix a car. The mechanic called the young people who lived through the Great War and the influenza outbreak in 1918 “une génération perdue.” The phrase was popularized by Ernest Hemmingway, but “The Lost Generation” also includes Stein and T.S. Eliott and F. Scott Fitzgerald, American writers whose work we still read and study a full century later. My English class started reading Fitzgerald’s “The Great Gatsby” when we resumed school online in March. My teacher did her best to explain the Roaring ‘20s and how the young people of that time lived—recklessly, carelessly and aimlessly, partying, drinking and spending money. They had survived WWI and a pandemic that killed a third of the world’s population. They had beaten death, and so they lived completely in the moment, she said, having been stripped of the illusion of democracy and of hope for peace. I was 15 when the pandemic started. I’m 16 now and will turn 18 before it’s over, if predictions are correct. My generation is also coming of age during a time of chaos and grief. We are disoriented and lost, draped in a blanket of anxiety and hopelessness. Maybe history repeats itself; perhaps that’s our only salvation. If 2020 is the year where everything is shaken around and flipped upside down, then 2021 will be the year of creation. After any national crisis come heroes, art and maybe something beautiful, something that will last beyond our own lives. The Black Death of the 14th century made way for the Renaissance. The Thirty Years War preceded the Enlightenment. And as Hemmingway quotes from the book of Ecclesiastes, “One generation passeth away,
version of the Seminole Heights unicorn story, with many of the same anecdotes and observations Montgomery put down on paper; USA Today straight up picked up the piece with Asher’s byline on it. The piece resonated with me because not just because it was a quintessential alt-weekly story, but because of the way Montgomery was able to write about one person’s kindness in a way that let me take a deep breath and feel alright— if just for a moment—as I braced for the doldrums and devastating headlines headed our way. To read Montgomery describe losing three years of experiences to the pandemic—and then think of how much more so many others have lost over the last nine months—is gut-churning. To read someone talk about being draped in anxiety and hopelessness, then describe the chaos and grief that’s marked her own pandemic experience, broke my heart. Her reflection also reaffirmed my thought that this could be the dumbest year ever.
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FROM ASHER, HOPE: Asher Montogomery is the co-editor-in-chief at HHS Today.
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Shifting focus Photos by Dave Decker
T
his year forced everyone to change, and while Dave Decker’s energy level, enthusiasm and heart never dipped in 2020, the Tampa-based photographer’s lens did shift its focus from concerts and portrait work to protests—from Tampa Bay to Portland—that ignited over the summer and still simmer today. Decker’s deep care for the folks in front of his camera inspired me in 2020, and it allowed Creative Loafing Tampa Bay to write so many stories this year. Without Decker, so many of those voices would undoubtedly have never been heard. I wish we lived in a world where Dave didn’t have to cover social injustice, but I think we’re in a better position to speak out against it because he’s out there to put the action on film. Here are some of his most powerful shots of 2020. See more via cltampa.com/magazine.—Ray Roa
cltampa.com | DECEMBER 31, 2020 - JANUARY 06, 2021 | 11
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YEAR IN REVIEW POLITICS
ISSUES
OPINION
Our big dumb year
One last look at the calendar equivalent of getting kicked in the crotch. By Ray Roa and Colin Wolf It’s been a tumultuous time since then, and so many of our neighbors are still really fucked (to be honest, so many of them were fucked before coronavirus). You’re all doing the work to make things better (read: voting, not tolerating intolerance, mask shaming people), so let’s go through the 2020 weeds one last time. Below is an abridged rundown of some of Creative Loafing Tampa Bay’s most read and most insane news stories of the year, in all their dong-tastic glory. Get a more clickable—and expanded—version of this story via cltampa.com/magazine. Coronavirus clubbin’ Tampa strip clubs really did their part to be good citizens of the pandemic. During the first
“This allows entertainers & DJ’s a method to continue some type of revenue and provide a service to our regular in person patrons who can now watch and tip from the safety of their own homes,” Kleinhans added. Patrons wishing to support the club’s efforts can do so via 2001live.com from 9 p.m.-midnight. Talk about telework. Surely not as “family-friendly” as the St. Pete quarantine dad that hit an impossible golf shot off his roof in April, but everyone had to find a way to make a buck this year. Coronavirus denyin’ In late-March a new “heat map” video using cell phone location data showed the terrifying consequences of Florida’s beaches remaining open during the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. In the clip, cell phones on a single beach in Fort Lauderdale during spring break were selected and tracked, and then seen sprawling all over continued on page 16
YVONNE GOUGELET
L
ooking back on the past year, we should’ve known it was gonna get weird back on Feb. 22 when—along with the festive merriment and oversized turkey legs—ye olde bare ass and dong were spotted at Tampa’s Renaissance Festival. In case you missed it, during a “Men in Kilts Competition,” attendees were surprised when a performer turned around, bent over, and shook his exposed butt cheeks and medieval package in front of the crowd. Naturally, some guy from Clermont complained to a TV newstation about it. “As I’m filming, they’re cheering and cheering, this one came around, swirled around, danced, then he bent over and lifted up his kilt and there’s his backside saying hello. Everyone’s cheering and cheering and shaking and then you’re seeing other body parts shaking around from underneath there,” Steve Treague told Fox 13 WTVT. Treague, who was the event with his daughter and 13-year-old son, told the station they went to the festival for the food and atmosphere, not the nudity—and the Renaissance Festival apologized—but it’s important to remember that, historically, quite a few Renaissance festivals are strongholds for nudity and sexually explicit endeavors. While the Bay Area Renaissance Festival may not condone such acts, many do. In fact, according to the Houston Chronicle, the Renaissance Festival in Texas features a game of strip Jenga, and discourages photos because “we want some of you to still have jobs on Monday morning.” And, as a Vice reporter once said after visiting one in California, “the fair is an elaborate mating ritual complete with pregaming, peacocking, and corsets. Like at a college costume party or an office holiday party, the moment the booze comes out, inhibitions dissipate, marriages open up, and mistakes are made.” In other words, doth not protest too much. But Karen’s gonna Karen, and 2020 got extremely dumb and shitty after that dong sighting. Actually, coronavirus probably came out of that guy’s bare ass now that I think about it. Anyway, COVID-19 arrived to further show us how lost some of our brightest elected officials have gotten us (and how dumb they really were). Then, two months later, Minneapolis cops killed George Floyd and we all said, “enough.”
weekend in March, Déjà Vu Showgirls gave away 10,000 face masks to horny guys concerned about coronavirus. “It might seem silly,” said Déjà Vu general manager Mark Figueroa in a press release, “but we take the health of our guests very seriously. Being the busiest and most popular nightclub in Tampa, we have to ensure the show will go on.” Déjà Vu wasn’t the only club adapting either. On March 20, 50-year-old 2001 Odyssey—the one with the spaceship—went dark to protect customers and dancers from the novel coronavirus. Don Kleinhans, President of the joint, said he immediately checked to see about getting emergency funding only to walk away empty handed after finding out 2001 was ineligible. “The state of Florida is mandating our closure but are not willing to assist us in any manner,” Kleinhans wrote in a statement to CL. So 2001—which once hired a dwarf to drop dollar bills on dancers from the ceiling, according to an intern—put the stage performances online via its website.
HUFFIN’ AND PUFFIN’: Anti-vaxxers sent their finest to a Tampa protest on April 26, 2020.
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who once ran a hospital company that committed massive Medicare fraud. On the same day DeSantis blamed the media for the summer spike, Scott told Fox News that Florida doesn’t need a statewide mask order— that was the same day the state set a then-new record for COVID-19 cases. This is the same guy who, three months earlier, said coronavirus stimulus pays some low-wage workers too much. A month after that comment, Scott—who as governor basically reached into the state’s proverbial chest, ripped out the unemployment system while yelling “Kali Ma,” and lowered it into a lava pit—doubled down in a Fox News op-ed where he wrote that unemployed people make too much money and won’t return to work (and don’t worry, our other all-star senator Marco Rubio obviously agreed with Scott on that last point). To top off his summer, Scott, in late July, said he wanted schools open, but added that his grandkids would be “distance learning” in the fall. But it got worse.
HYPOCRISY: For TPD, illegally shutting down a street is perfectly fine, but only if you ‘Back the Blue.’ continued from page 13 the Eastern half of the country, potentially spreading the virus even further. A wide refusal to accept the reality of the ‘rona arguably started in mid-March when Brady Sluder—the infamous Florida spring breaker who basically said he doesn’t care if he contracts coronavirus and that “here’s just here to have a good time”—got caught on CBS news being dumb as hell. “At the end of the day, I’m not going to let it stop me from partying. We’ve been waiting for Miami spring break for a while. We’re just out here having a good time,” he said at the time. “Whatever happens, happens.” Well, Sluder, a Soundcloud rapper who also had aspirations of playing pro baseball, got busted and posted an apology on March 22. While Sluder’s sins were forgiven, another “covidiot”— Gary Kirby, owner of Florida’s Westside Sports Bar and Lounge—was banning customers from wearing masks, calling it a “security issue.” Kirby told Fox News that his bar was burglarized, but that the burglary was an inside job.
A spokesperson for the West Melbourne Police Department told Fox that while Kirby had in fact filed a police report, he had also been “uncooperative” with the burglary investigation and has refused to meet with detectives. Locally, on May 11, Tampa Bay protesters did pushups in front of courthouse to prove they need gyms to do pushups—and you can understand how they got so dumb. Just a month before that on April 26, a Tampa protest called for Florida to end the coronavirus shutdown—but the action was actually hosted and organized by a local chapter of The Freedom Keepers, an anti-vaccine group that formed in 2015 in response to a California bill that removed “personal beliefs” as a reason to not vaccinate your kid before sending them to school. Unlike the founders in California, the Tampa chapter has tried to separate itself from its roots, claiming they are in fact not an antivaccine group. But under the Tampa Freedom Keepers’ “Five Foundational Pillars,” which are listed on the Tampa website, the group says it’s dedicated to “sharing vaccine injury stories.”
“TPD increased the use of pepper spray and tear gas 223% under Chief Dugan.”
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Local news outlets unfortunately failed to pick up on any of the background on the organizers. Instead, those outlets gave free platforms to protesters on how the virus is a hoax, vaccines are bad, and, most importantly, a direct message to Gov. Ron DeSantis that Florida residents want the state to reopen. Politics Speaking of dumb politicians, DeSantis—who might be considered one of the worst Americans of 2020—spent a July 3 press conference in Tampa blaming the media and protesters for state’s record COVID-19 spike. “Really, for two weeks, you didn’t see much about it,” said the politicianturned-media-critic. Pretty bright coming from the guy who, for some reason, wore a single rubber glove at an April 8 coronavirus briefing. And DeSantis wasn’t alone in his gaslighting. In March, Matt Gaetz—Florida’s dumbest congressman and a very normal human being who’s not at all a bag of raccoons working in unison to resemble a real politician—decided to wear a full gas mask on the House floor, making light of the folks who got sick and died from coronavirus. But the real evil shit was reserved for none other than Rick Scott, Florida’s U.S. Senator
Tampa’s world-class God-fearing grifter Tampa’s Rodney Howard-Browne—a conservative preacher, peddler of absolute insane conspiracy theories, and an evangelical leader who prayed over Trump in the Oval Office—couldn’t save his fellow Trump cult followers from passing out in the heat at an Oct. 29 rally outside Raymond James Stadium, but he did spend the days before lockdowns saying he will cure Florida of coronavirus, just like he did with Zika. To prove his point, Howard-Browne defied orders by filling his megachurch on March 29 and potentially exposing thousands to the virus. A day later Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister—who strangely ended up becoming Howard-Browne’s BFF— arrested the pastor. In a Facebook Live video posted that same week, Howard-Browne’s lawyer—Mat Staver of the Liberty Counsel—admitted that the arrest caused the evangelical pastor’s insurance to be canceled. And we thought Trump spiritual advisor Paula White—who on Jan. 25 gave a sermon saying God can terminate pregnancies if they’re satanic—was crazy. Protests As scary as the coronavirus and its deniers are, news surrounding local police and protests was even more troubling this year. George Floyd was killed on May 25. Five days later—after mostly peaceful protests that started in Temple Terrace and made their way up Fowler Avenue past the University of South Florida—hundreds gathered near Tampa’s University Mall to protest the killing of Floyd. In the daylight hours before that the protest originally organized by the Students for a Democratic Society at University of South Florida saw infiltrators from a fringe far-right group join the march.
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A May 30 video segment from Tampa Bay’s WFTS, and later tweeted by media consultant mediaand former Deadspin editor Tim Burke, showed s thattwo men in Hawaiian shirts and a guy wearder—ing a clown mask yelling the term “Groyper,” n-newwhich loosely describes followers of “America sameFirst” podcaster Nick Fuentes. According to the navi-Antidefamation League, Groypers are considrs tooered a white supremacist group, though Fuentes —whocarefully distances himself from the phrase tate’sand states that he prefers “Christian consermentvatives,” who oppose things like, immigration red it(undocumented and legal), globalism, gay and Newstransgender rights and feminism. peoDuring his livestream of the daytime prorn totest, protesters seemed skeptical of Fuentes. sena-When Fuentes sees an interracial couple, he ott onsays “Looks like we have some race mixing.” Scott, And it got worse for Tampa protesters. n, but tanceTampa Police On June 4, Tampa Police pepper sprayed protesters and violently detained organizers. Nearly three hours after CL photographer Ashley Dieudonne posted photos from the incicon-dent, the Tampa Police Department Facebook nsanepage left a comment on a CL Facebook post askr whoing CL to “tell the full story.” The next day, TPD uldn’treleased street and body cam videos showing the ssingarrest of a 17-year-old “umbrella girl” protester mondwho was charged with two counts of assault on a beforelaw officer. CL asked about whether or not it was coro-overkill to have three officers subdue someone ve hiswith an umbrella. Spokesperson Jamel Leneé ng hissaid, “but had she really poked one of our officers osingwith the end of that tip, could have caused seriroughous damage. She was thrashing the umbrella ngelyat them. When she used it in the manner she FF—did, it became a weapon.” video The use of force is not surprising. lawAccording to Tampa Police Department mittedProfessional Standards Bureau Annual reports stor’sobtained by CL over the summer, since 2017 arrests have dropped by 17%, but use of force visorhas increased by a staggering 24%. In 2017, there rmonwere 3,273 arrests that involved use of force beyond hey’rehandcuffing, and in 2019 this number jumped to 4,055. What’s more is that drilling down on the report, you find that despite health risks, Tampa Police increased the use of pepper spray and tear niersgas by 223% under Chief Brian Dugan. otests And that’s just based on reports filed correctly. In August, CL wrote about a man violently Fivearrested and beaten by Tampa police officers s thatin the summer of 2019—the report never mentheirtioned a word of it. rsity All the disappointment isn’t unexpected neareither. In August, CL found out that Only 17% illingof Tampa Police officers live within city limits, at thepartly due to the ridiculous cost of living. dents A month before that another report showed Souththat Tampa Bay law enforcement forces are sigrightnificantly whiter than the communities they serve. According to that data, TPD officers are 13% Black;
the city is 23% Black. In St. Petersburg, 14% of officers Black, as are 22% of residents. Those numbers are certainly disheartening for protesters and taxpayers calling for increased diversity in the law enforcement agencies that are supposed to protect and serve them, but it’s important to note that most experts agree that a police force which reflects the community it’s supposed to serve isn’t a panacea to the unfair policing and violence activists are making noise about. Dugan days The spotlight’s been on Dugan and calls for former police chief and current Mayor Jane Castor to fire him, but it could’ve been different if Dugan’s rhetoric over the summer wasn’t so combative towards protesters. At a June meeting of the currently-butmaybe-not-permanently-toothless Citizen Review Board, Dugan said “George Floyd had to get murdered” for people to come to Citizen Review Board meetings.” Two days later, Dugan went on “Fox & Friends” to argue that his department “can’t win” against protesters, adding that protesters “ambushed” officers responding to a call in V.M. Ybor. What Dugan failed to mention in this interview is that residents say this “ambush” was actually a weekly block party that has occurred at the same Tampa intersection. Residents of V.M. Ybor also said they filed complaints about it for months. So, basically, Dugan was either lying or he has no idea what his own cops are doing. At that point of the summer, Dugan completely lost much of the public’s trust, but you can bet it got more facepalm-worthy.
Police reform is a story that will be a big part of 2021, and in August, after meetings of her reform task force, Tampa Mayor Jane Castor said change is needed, but just how far she—and a council still mulling over significant changes to the existing review board—go is uncertain. In the meantime, local protesters are still being threatened with death by former Pasco Sheriff deputies, having to worry about their houses and cars being burned and deal with now-ex New Port Richey cops who coordinate with Back the Blue counterprotesters.
restored the paycuts (Euclid Media Group, which owns CL along with six other alt-weeklies, was approved for a $1.3 million loan on April 11), and both remaining editorial staffers at CL read the work of Times journalists every day— but who could forget May 18 when the paper’s mobile app sent push alert that said “look a fucking title”? When you clicked through, you saw what appeared to be a headline that said the same thing, along with a thumbnail of a “Fake News” paper with the text “Turtle Fake News.” Times Executive Editor Mark Katches blamed it on an employee of a Times technology vendor Naviga, but it was still funny as hell. What wasn’t funny, however, was the way the Times editorial board—Elizabeth Djinis and a bunch of white dudes—went ahead and pubbed takes on saying “nah” to a minimum wage ballot initiative and telling protesters to “Take your skateboards and go home.” The best one from the editorial board that sometimes publishes softball columns about two of its investors was a March 23 gem with headline “Why would Tampa Bay need a stay-at-home order?” The piece arrived on the day coronavirus cases went over 1,000 in Florida, and the column sure has aged well now that the number of infections in the Sunshine State is well over 1.2 million. Like we said, see more dumb news via cltampa.com/magazine. Let’s reconnect in 2021.
“Why would Tampa Bay need a stay-athome order?”
Local media Because of space (newsprint is expensive!) we’ve saved clips about racists, weather and all the beautiful weirdos CL covered in an online version of this story—but we wanted to save a little tiny space for the good folks at the Tampa Bay Times, who, like CL, had a really rough year (but did manage to finally get rid of their mugshot gallery). In March, after previous pay cuts and layoffs, Tampa Bay’s vaunted paper of record furloughed some staff and cut its print edition to twice a week. In a phone call with CL, Times CEO and Chairman Paul Tash said, “I do not remember another time when we ever suspended publication in print even for a day.” The Times and its related companies received an $8.5 million PPP loan in April and
Bock the blub As August arrived, so did an unpermitted “Back the Blue” mural outside Tampa police headquarters downtown. The quality of the work—which is still directly outside the police department, east-to-west on Madison Street in between Franklin Street and Florida Avenue— had all of America roasting the city and some locals spilling paint on it. As details and internal emails about how the mural started to surface, it became clear that if you illegally shut down a street in downtown Tampa and vandalize it in praise of local law enforcement, there’s nothing wrong with that. However, if you shut down a street and call for police reform, you’ll be met with pepper spray and rubber bullets. If you needed proof of that, just ask the protesters who tried to prove a point and paint their own unpermitted mural down the street at Curtis Hixon Waterfront Park a few days later. TPD reps told CL “Multiple people were taken into custody without incident and charged with Criminal Mischief,” and the State Attorney eventually declined to go through with those charges, but that didn’t help the protesters arrested that day who say they were beaten up, misgendered, groped and harassed at the Orient Road jail run by the Hillsborough County Sheriff Department.
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FROM OUR
Moffitt Family to Yours
Wishing you a Happy and Healthy 2021! As we move into the new year, create your plan to promote the health and safety of your family. At Moffitt, we are committed to helping you understand your risks and have the expertise to diagnose and treat all types of cancer. Early detection can help save more lives. Together we can make a difference. Learn more about Screenings. Call 1-888-456-2839 or visit Moffitt.org/Screening
Courageous DURING COVID-19, YOUR SAFETY IS A PRIORITY AT MOFFITT
18 | DECEMBER 31, 2020 - JANUARY 06, 2021 | cltampa.com
Naughty list
Nurses and the Grinch deliver coal to HCA Healthcare.
T
ampa Bay nurses represented by the National Nurses United (NNU) were joined by labor organizers and sympathetic community members, like the Grinch, Dec. 17—yes, you read that correctly—to literally deliver a sack of coal to HCA West Florida Headquarters at North Rocky Point Drive off of the Courtney Campbell Causeway. According to a press release, the holiday-themed demonstration was sardonically described as a way for local nurses who work at HCA West Florida hospitals to “convey their displeasure with the unwelcome holiday gifts of unsafe staffing amid the pandemic surge, failure to notify frontline nurses of exposure to COVID-19, and a shocking rise in the loss of RNs who have left due to unsafe conditions.” Despite nurses’ ongoing concerns, nurses with HCA Healthcare showed good humor on Thursday by adding a holiday twist to their demonstration of protest. One organizer with National Nurses United (NNU) showed up to the demonstration in a Grinch costume, and walked into the company headquarters with the delegation of nurses to present their sack of coal and list of demands for HCA. Creative Loafing Tampa Bay reached out to the HCA West Florida Headquarters via phone and email early Thursday afternoon to seek comment. As of Friday afternoon, they have not returned our request. Over the course of the coronavirus pandemic, local nurses at HCA medical facilities have protested ongoing concerns regarding unsafe staffing levels, protection personal equipment (PPE) shortages, and ineffective communication between hospital managers and nurses about colleagues and patients who test positive for COVID-19. And these complaints aren’t unique to the Tampa Bay area. In August, nurses represented by National Nurses United staged over 200 events during a single day of action to raise awareness of unsafe working conditions and their demands for HCA Healthcare—one of the largest for-profit hospital systems in the United States. The healthcare giant’s local division, HCA West Florida, owns and operates 15 medical facilities across the Tampa Bay region, including St. Petersburg General, Memorial Hospital of Tampa, and Medical Largo Center among others. Although lack of access to PPE is no longer the primary concern, according to nurses who
spoke to CL, they maintain that they continue to face issues with being short-staffed and a lack of transparency about positive COVID19 cases among their colleagues at HCA West Florida facilities. Registered nurse Keonna Morris, who works in the medical surgical unit at Largo Medical Center, told CL that news of a colleague testing positive for the coronavirus is only communicated between workers—and not by hospital managers. “It’s not our responsibility to tell each other,” she said, but even so, this is the only way she and her colleagues are made aware of who has contracted the virus. And Morris, like other nurses across the country, confirmed that she and her colleagues are not regularly tested, unless they seek additional COVID-19 testing on their own. The national nurses union—which represents more than 150,000 nurses nationwide—filed complaints with the Occupational Safety and Health Administration earlier this year, according to the Tampa Bay Times, alleging that hospitals were not notifying nurses when their colleagues contracted COVID-19. At the time, the agency confirmed they had received these complaints, but had decided not to investigate them. But Morris’s primary concern, which is not unique to the pandemic era, is unsafe staffing levels. Morris said the nurse to patient staff ratios on her unit at Largo Medical Center have worsened over the course of the pandemic, where one nurse might be tasked with taking care of six to eight patients at a time. Short-staffing is a chronic issue, she says, and can be partly attributed to exhausted healthcare workers calling it quits. Over 400 RNs “have left the bedside” from eight HCA West Florida hospitals over the last six months, according to NNU’s Thursday press statement. And Morris says this directly reflects their working conditions. During a speech outside of company headquarters on Dec. 17, Morris said many nurses she knows have reported crying in their cars on their way home after work. “A lot of people are just frustrated,” she said, in regards to what she and her colleagues broadly characterize as increasingly stressful working conditions. “Overwhelmed nurses are being required to provide care for an unsafe number of patients in the hospital intensive care units and on other hospital floors. It means we are regularly not able to devote the essential time and individualized
LOCAL NEWS
“ ...concerns, Pebbles alleged, ‘are met with disdain, ridicule, and even hostility.’”
MCKENNA SCHUELER
By McKenna Schueler
YOU’RE A MEAN ONE: HCA nurses were protesting unsafe staffing and other issues during the pandemic surge care each of our gravely ill patients need, properly monitor changes in a patient’s condition, and are more prone to make mistakes,” said registered nurse Jackie Creevy of Doctors Hospital of Sarasota in the statement to the press. Chief Nurse Representative at Largo Medical Center Martin Pebbles, RN, also spoke on the point of nurses’ ongoing concerns with staffing and how HCA Healthcare treats nurses who work at their facilities. Pebbles said the reason for why nurses are leaving “goes back years,” as he and his colleagues have repeatedly expressed concerns to HCA regarding chronic understaffing and lack of basic hospital supplies such as IV pumps, EKG cables, and oxygen regulators. And their concerns, Pebbles alleged, “are met with disdain, ridicule, and even hostility.” Over the course of the pandemic, Pebbles told CL, “It’s been a real wake up call about the true nature of HCA to exploit nurses and patients for profit.” As unionized nurses across the country have brought their concerns to HCA Healthcare, the Nashville-based healthcare giant reaped a total
$13.3 billion in revenues last quarter, according to its 2020 third quarter financial report. This is an increase from its third quarter total revenue of $12.69 million in 2019. Net income attributed to HCA Healthcare Inc. was also up, from $612 million in 2019 to $668 million in the third quarter of 2020. In October, HCA Healthcare even announced that it would be returning the $6 billion it received in COVID19 relief funds earlier this year as part of the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security (CARES) Act passed by Congress. “We greatly appreciate the CARES Act funding and the policymakers who fought hard to ensure hospitals would have the essential resources during the pandemic,” said HCA CEO Sam Hazen, in a statement released at the time. Hazen, who has served as chief executive officer of the Nashville-based healthcare giant since January 2019, is also not hurting financially. Hazen reportedly made nearly $27 million in his first year as the company’s CEO— more than 470 times the median salary of an HCA employee. Read more via cltampa.com/magazine.
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YEAR IN REVIEW RESTAURANTS
RECIPES
DINING GUIDES
Safe spaces
A taste of CL’s most popular Food & Drink stories of 2020. By CL Staff
Pasco County restaurant owner is sick and tired of Black Lives Matter ‘terrorists,’ says liberals can ‘eat somewhere else’ In July, Ronald Pentaude—owner of Local Fresh Grill, a Port Richey restaurant described as a “safe harbor for police”—posted a 633-word rant aimed at protesters, and Colin Kapernick and liberals on his businesses’ public Facebook page, adding that people who disagree with his opinions can “eat somewhere else.” He also took aim at Black Lives Matter, antifa and Nancy Pelosi, then told everyone to unfriend him. Hoots, a new concept from Hooters where dudes can be servers, opens today in St. Pete In May, the new concept described itself as “a little bit Hooters, a little bit its own thing,” which may refer to the fact there’s no servers in pantyhose, and instead the staff (including men) sport khakis and orange shirts. Like its mothernest, Hoots focuses on wings, tenders, shrimp and boasts 11 different sauces. It will also give you (read: me) diarrhea if you eat a whole to-go box of wings by yourself. South Tampa’s Green Lemon ‘embarrassed’ and appreciative after Cinco de Mayo shutdown The South Tampa hotspot with particularly good margaritas said that it made the decision to close its doors at 7:20 p.m. when the precautions the restaurant had in place could not handle the thirsty, partially sombrero-ed masses. In a statement to WFLA, Ciccio Restaurant Group’s (CRG) Jordan Warshavsky said The Green Lemon fell short after being swamped by requests for in-person dining, takeout and third party delivery orders, adding that his group was “incredibly embarrassed.” The place has stayed out of trouble since, so that’s something, right?
Following backlash over employee pay, The Getaway in St. Pete shuts down social media In April, during a nearly 10-minute clip intended for staff members, Karina Tashkin, who co-owns The Getaway attempted to explain a presumed lapse in employee paychecks. “When the virus began, and the shutdowns began in restaurants. We didn’t have to pay you. Even the last paycheck. But we did. We knew that you needed that we had it, we gave it to you and that’s it,” she said. “By now you should be figuring out what job you’re going to get, seeing that the industry that you have spent so much time in is not going to be up and running for a while, a long time.”
Cheesecake Factory’s new Clearwater location will open this fall A pre-pandemic announcement from February. If you’ve never been to a Cheesecake Factory, God bless you. The restaurant chain offers a wide variety of American-style cuisine and over 50 desserts, including 35 different varieties of cheesecake. So make sure whoever you’re dining with isn’t indecisive, or it might make for a long night.
Tampa Bay Restaurant Depot locations are now open to the general public Historically, the onlyDepot-that-matters exclusively served those in the restaurant and hospitality industry. That changed in April, and I still have 50 pounds of frozen kielbasa in my fridge.
Park & Rec Tampa is being sued by condo association In another pre-pandemic blast from the past this January, loud music and flashing lights proved to be a problem yet again for a downtown Tampa business. We’d give up some sleep to have those kinds of problems back.
FBI and state attorney now investigating violent comments from Tampa restaurateur Lanfranco
Tampa Bay Aldis are selling a mask that could certainly help protect your face in various
situations A $14.99 full face snorkel was the weekly special at everybody’s favorite bagit-yourself grocery store over the summer. It could’ve been a good thing to wear not just in the water or to try protect yourself against COVID-19, but it could’ve also been a nice thing to have on hand if you’re cooking and making tea in the kitchen and something goes wrong with a kettle. And then maybe some pepper sprays everywhere. You might be glad you had this mask. We’re not saying that Aldi is on the side of the revolution, but we’re not not saying that, either. A new right-wing coffee shop called ‘Conservative Grounds’ opens in Largo this weekend In February, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay broke the news that Tampa Bay would soon be home to a coffee shop dedicated to Trump, guns, and conservative values. According to its Twitter bio, Conservative Grounds is “a place where rational, conservative, moral, God loving people congregate without the scourge of liberalism.” In the months since, owners have organized supposedly world record-breaking Trump boat parades (officials from the Guinness Book of World Records have yet to confirm it), played host to Don. Jr. and Roger Stone, plus also started holding church services in the parking lot. Owning the libs, for sure.
THERIGHTCOFFEE/TWITTER
T
he irony of restaurant owners reveling in ruffling feathers to bathe in “liberal tears” is not lost on any of the 81.2 million people who voted for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris last month (that’s 7 million more votes than Trump got, by the way), but Bay area food news was more than Trump cult members and anti-Antifa sandwich makers. Check out some of 2020’s most popular Food & Drink stories and then really dive in via cltampa.com/magazine.—Ray Roa
Pescante Remember when a video showing Mole y Abuela’s crowded rooftop patio during the coronavirus pandemic was the Nocturnal Hospitality Group’s biggest problem? Within a month, cofounder Lanfranco Pescante stepped down after violent and racist comments about protesters surfaced online. Then, on the same day, Nocturnal got dropped by its celebrity chef Fabio Viviani and saw the FBI and state attorney start an investigation of Pescante. Nighty night.
FIRED SQUAD: Conservative Grounds’ replica of the Oval is the best place to play pretend.
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More to Love
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Getting personal with CL’s food and theater critic. By Jon Palmer Claridge
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iving in 2020 is depressing. Even as the pandemic changes our lives, journalism is under attack. Pulitzer Prize-winning reporting is dismissed by a large segment of our population as “fake news.” Social media destroys any sense of common ground. Our neighbors seek affirmation, not information. As a long time regular visitor to NYC since the 1980s, I knew that Donald Trump was considered a self-aggrandizing grifter; that his record as a businessman is a mirage, which we later found out was totally underwritten by the father from Hell. But using an authoritarian playbook based on his hugely popular reality show image, he managed to siphon off just enough votes in the midwestern “blue wall” states to thread the 2016 electoral college needle. In any other world democracy he would have lost by 3 million votes; we elected a con man without any idea how to head a government. So, instead of leading the world response by following science, we deflected and the pandemic “hoax” became political while our government lied and COVID thrived. Face-saving propaganda couldn’t stop a new virus. Our delayed response and failure to model mask wearing and mitigation lead to politicization and ignoring the science to our peril. And Florida’s official policy was depraved indifference. Restaurants and theatres were suddenly shuttered. Gathering together to break bread, sip a cocktail, or to share a cathartic story in a dark theatre could lead to sickness, hospitalization, or even death. Creative Loafing Tampa Bay held on by a thread, but smart, determined leadership learned how to survive. I went from weekly restaurant reviews to a monthly column
limited to takeout. However, I now also have the opportunity to review theatre—although only in a virtual or outdoor setting. Many of our fellow citizens remain out of work, particularly in my areas of major interest. Millions face hunger and eviction. In the midst of a 100 year pandemic, 90 million are without health insurance. And now, as 2020 comes to a close, the toxic convergence of election and pandemic denial may finally give way to hope. A Biden-Harris administration and the delivery of an effective vaccine hint at a sense of normalcy returning. In the meantime, we continue leading our parallel lives. I revel in helping to care for a young granddaughter—watching her grow and discover. Sadly, her circle is of necessity horribly small. But in the brief 12 months of her life, she’s learned by example that if she swipes and bangs on my iPad enough, something of interest may appear. And she responds to my classical music lessons by vocalizing to Vivaldi and Beethoven enough for me to create fawning minutes on iMovie for distant family members on lockdown. We narrowly escaped losing our American experiment to an autocratic cult. Many GOP cowards put arms and legs on this Trump Frankenstein expecting him to be elevated by the office only to now express surprise that he’s a monster throwing temper tantrums about non-existent “fraud” while COVID-19 decimates our population. And yet, propaganda works; people still refuse to wear masks and keep physical distance in the name of “freedom.” Screw that. Stay safe until we eventually reach that distant light finally glimpsed at the end of the tunnel.
YEAR IN REVIEW
DAVE DECKER
DINE IN • PICK UP • CURBSIDE
HAPPY HOUR IN THE BAR AREA TUESDAY-SUNDAY 5-7 WINE DOWN WEDNESDAY HALF OFF SELECT BOTTLES • DAILY HANDMADE PASTA AND BREAD • FRESH LOCALLY-SOURCED PRODUCE AND SEAFOOD • VEGAN CHICKEN PARM AND VEGAN PIZZAS WE ARE CLOSED ON MONDAYS.
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MARGARITA MAMA: Because of the pandemic, our food critic only covered takeout like Drew Park’s Taqueria Margarita.
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cltampa.com | DECEMBER 31, 2020 - JANUARY 06, 2021 | 23
Hog wild
Restaurant openings don’t slow down for the holidays. By Jenna Rimensnyder and Alexandria Jones
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et’s squeeze another healthy roundup of food news in before the end of the year. This week’s rundown includes burgers, booze, and even dueling pianos. On the horizon, we can expect a motorcycle-themed bar, two build-your-own-bowl concepts and a Blackowned coffee shop with a mission. In other news, eight Tampa bars were fined over the weekend for COVID-19 violations. Tampa Bay has come a long way since March, but this pandemic isn’t over. Yes, we have a vaccine making the rounds, but we have to do our part to keep our service industry and fellow foodies safe. Make sure to mask up, wash your hands and keep your distance from fellow diners. If you’re not feeling too hot, opt for takeout and visit these new joints when you’re feeling 100%—no rush.
SoFresh The health-focused fast-casual restaurant is known for its build-your-own menu filled with customizable salads and wraps. The location celebrated its opening by donating meals to emergency room nurses at Tampa General Hospital. In the coming weeks, the franchise will launch shops in Carrollwood and Lakeland followed by up to 10 storefronts across Florida, Georgia, Pennsylvania and Massachusetts. 126 S Westshore Blvd., Tampa. lovesofresh.com
OPENINGS & CLOSINGS
brushing up on your hog talk. 10525 49th St. N., Pinellas Park. occroadhouse.com Rise Koffee & Kulture The cafe’s mission is to provide a creative hub where Black coffee, community, art, and music connect. Rise plans to focus on supplier diversity, and ensure that at least 25% of supplies and vendor companies are Black-owned. Planning to set up shop in Ybor City, at a yet to be announced location, CL hopes to share more details as plans get ironed out and an opening date is in sight. @risekoffeeandkulture on Instagram ICYMI COVID-19 violations Last week, amid spiking coronavirus cases, Tampa Mayor Jane Castor announced new stricter crackdowns for local businesses who fail to enforce local social distancing and mask mandates. In the first weekend of increased enforcement, eight bars were hit with fines. In other words, if you pull up to a restaurant that is looking a little packed, might be best to opt for takeout.
LOVE, HANDLES: ‘American Chopper’ star Paul Teutul Sr. is opening a motorcycle-themed spot in Pinellas Park.
HAYWORTH PR
Openings BurgerFi The burger chain is expanding its reach throughout Tampa Bay with a new location in St. Pete. While the fast-casual spot offers a variety of specialty burgers, guests can also choose from a lineup of chicken sandwiches, chicken tenders, plus Beyond Meat vegetarian and vegan burgers. 855 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. burgerfi.com—Nora O’Neill Nothing Bundt Cakes The specialty bundt cake bakery made its debut in mid-November. The menu boasts 10 different flavors with more than 60 handcrafted designs themed around holidays and celebrations throughout the year. You can grab minis (Bundtlets), bundt towers, bite-sized “Bundtinis,” as well as traditional sized bundts. 2458 4th St. N., St. Petersburg. nothingbundtcakes.com Pirate Tikis The floating, BYOB tiki bar allows guests to sip while taking a 90-minute ride down the Hillsborough River past downtown Tampa sites from Curtis Hixon and Julian B. Lane to Armature Works. Each tiki has space for six guests and is handled by a Coast Guardlicensed captain. All guests must have ID, be 18 and up to ride and at least 21 years old to consume alcohol. $50-$340 depending on time of day. pirate-tikis.com Showbar Ybor Ybor City is now home to a dueling piano bar hosting live music four days a week. On Friday and Saturday evenings, local pianists take the stage to finesse the keys while guests sip cocktails and chow down on bar bites. Showbar offers indoor and partially covered outdoor seating. No need to dress up, either, Showbar is a casual joint to get a little tipsy and get lost in the tunes. 1612 E 7th Ave., Ybor City. @showbarybor on Facebook
Coming soon Grain and Berry The shop is launching its first location in St. Pete, an area already flourishing
with smoothie and acai bowl joints. G&B is also working on getting three additional storefronts throughout the sunshine state. 2446 4th St. N., St. Petersburg. grainandberry.com Little Leon Shouldn’t be much longer until the build-your-own bowl and salad concept makes its debut within the space previously held by Ethiopian restaurant Queen of Sheba. The fastcasual restaurant has both indoor and outdoor seating for guests. If you’re not ready to dinein, opt online ordering, pickup or delivery. 3636 Henderson Blvd., Tampa. eatlittleleon.com OCC Road House and Museum Pinellas Park is getting a motorcycle-themed restaurant from ‘American Chopper’ star Paul Teutul Sr. Set to open in May 2021, OCC Road House includes 11,000-square-feet of indoor space, a 4,000-square-foot kitchen with a large smoker and a 25,000-square-foot pet-friendly pavilion for concerts, outdoor dining, and a billiards hall. There will also be a huge wall covered with patches Teutul collected from members of the military and first responders. Better start
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BBQ
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MAGNUM OPUS: Chef Chris Ponte is writing a new history at Olivia, but his Clearwater café is sorely missed.
Cafe Ponte, taken
Pouring one out for restaurants we lost in 2020. By Nora O’Neill and Thomas Holton
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he restaurant industry is a tough one to begin with, even in the best of times. As we know, 2020 presented a whole bunch of new challenges. It’s been a tough year, and a bunch of places have permanently closed both before and during the pandemic. Here are some of the local shutdowns that happened between March and November. Babalu Having served classic comfort eats since 1964, family bar and restaurant Babalu closed in January. Known for its classic dishes like jumbo chicken wings, Babalu served locals for more than 30 years before its closing. 9246 Fourth St. N, St. Petersburg Bella Italia Bella Italia opened in 1981 and spent its almost 40 years in business offering guests classic Italian meals, like pizza and pasta dishes, before its closing in February. In a Facebook post, the restaurant cited the rising costs of food, rent and the decline of the shopping center as its downfall. 10801 Starkey Rd., Largo
Brew D Licious The dog-friendly and very colorful Brew D Licious coffee shop closed permanently after nine years of business. The artsy location served coffee and laid back vibes in its small Central Avenue location. 667 Central Ave., St. Petersburg The Bunker Employees, then the owner, confirmed its closure. Given the nickname “Ybor’s living room” by many, the cafe has acted as a community hub for coffee drinkers plus art show and DIY concertgoers since its opening in 2006, after a restoration of the building, which has been standing in the district since 1924. Foundation Coffee moved in last month. 1907 N 19th St., Ybor City Caddy’s On Central Caddy’s closed down earlier this year after providing a variety of burgers and taco dishes housed inside a cool, retro location. Taking over the spot are two new restaurants: The Brickyard and Pizza N’ Brew. 213 Central Ave., St. Petersburg
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Cafe Ponte After 18 years of serving the Tampa Bay community with its modern Italian cuisine and fine dining atmosphere, Cafe Ponte closed down for good following complications stemming from the pandemic. However, the owners recently opened a new Italian restaurant, Olivia, in Tampa. 13505 Icot Blvd., Clearwater Capital Tacos Capital Tacos recently announced it has no plans of reopening its two St. Pete locations following pandemic closures. The chain’s specialty taco creations can still be enjoyed, though, at one of its five other local locations or through its Capital Pantry, Capital Tacos Express and full service catering.
specialty drinks and entrees on the second floor of the Locale Market. 179 2nd Ave N, St. Petersburg Foundation Coffee Tampa Heights lost its Foundation Coffee location this March. Specializing in handcrafted coffees, teas and fresh-baked bakery options, the modern coffee shop is succeeded by Foundation Riverview location and a brand new location at the old Bunker in Ybor City. 1607 N Franklin St., Tampa
YEAR IN REVIEW
Earth Fare The North Carolina-based Earth Fare announced it was closing all 50 of its locations nationwide in February. The health and wellness supermarket provided nutritious options for Floridians since making the move there just three years ago. 3136 Tampa Rd., Oldsmar FarmTable Cucina St. Pete’s FarmTable Cucina went out with a bang—with an extravagant New Year’s afterparty just before closing for good. The high end dining spot offered downtown St. Pete
Four Stacks Brewing Company An extension off of Four Stacks’ Apollo Beach location, this brewery had a short-lived run in Riverview, yet still was able to provide a diverse selection of ales and a great atmosphere. 10656 New East Bay Rd., Riverview Gator’s Dockside The Gator’s Dockside beloved by USF students is closed permanently, but those in search of its wings and bar eats can visit one of its several other statewide locations that remain open. 5840 E Fowler Ave., Tampa Hofbräuhaus An iconic spot for German-inspired atmosphere and eats, St. Pete’s Hofbräuhaus closed down in early March after serving the continued on page 31
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continued from page 28 St. Pete community since 2015. The bar was facing an eviction lawsuit over late rent since October 2019. 123 Fourth St. S, St. Petersburg La Tropicana Cafe A spot rich in Ybor City history and traditional Cuban fare, La Tropicana Cafe closed for good following a decrease in business due to COVID-19. Acting as a hub for immigrants when it first opened in 1963, La Tropicana had been serving Cuban sandwiches for almost six decades. The current operator’s Gio’s Cuban Cafe remains open across the street. 1822 E 7th Ave., Ybor City Locale Market St. Pete’s Locale Market announced its closure earlier this January, stating it would be replaced by the Sundial plaza’s forthcoming food hall. The two-story Locale Market acted as a hub for those wanting to explore new eating experiences, offering grab-and-go options, dry goods and FarmTable Cucina located on its second floor. 179 2nd Ave. N, St. Petersburg London Heights British Pub This Seminole Heights bar for British-inspired fare, pesky Liverpool fans and drinks, recently closed and was replaced by Seminole Heights Bar & Bistro. 7701 N Nebraska Ave., Tampa Lucky Dill Shutting down at the top of 2020, this location in the Westshore business district featured a combined bar and nightclub with a focus on New York-style deli cuisine. 4606 W Boy Scout Blvd., Tampa Lucky’s Market One of 20 Lucky’s that closed at the beginning of the year, the St. Petersburg location provided shoppers with a mix of produce, as well as a cafe with a bar, fresh ramen and sushi, and a deli. 6765 22nd Ave. N, St. Petersburg Nocturnal Hospitality Group Three locations that were a part of Tampa restaurant group Nocturnal Hospitality Group closed down earlier this summer: Franklin Manor, Mole Y Abuela, and Osteria. Franklin Manor offered live entertainment, Mole Y Abuela offered Spanish-style cuisine, and Osteria served Italian dishes. Old School South Tampa Living up to its name, Old School offered customers all the classic bar dishes: wings, a variety of tacos, and cheese fries. In its short time available to the public, Old School provided true value to its patrons. (It’s now a dog bar.) 2202 W Kennedy Blvd., Tampa Pipo’s To Go Formerly in the heart of downtown St. Pete, Pipo’s To Go location closed down in early February after its almost- five-year run in the city. Its quick service and traditional comforting Cuban food made the fast-casual joint a must. The family-owned restaurant’s two other St. Pete locations remain open. 8 Fourth St. N, St. Petersburg
Pour Taproom Before shutting down in September, Pour Taproom offered selections of self-serve beer and wine on tap, trivia, and a dog-friendly atmosphere. The bar served St. Pete residents for just under three years. 225 2nd Ave. N, St., St. Petersburg Room 901 Commonly referred to as “The Conversation Bar,” Room 901 closed its doors for good after temporarily converting into a bottle shop in the face of COVID-19 restrictions. An intimate, dim-lighted space, Room 901 provided a truly unique option for those looking to have a different sort of barroom experience. 901 1st Ave. S, St. Petersburg Roux The South Tampa creole restaurant closed for good after serving cajun and creole dishes since 2014. The spot’s all-you-can-eat crawfish boil was just one of Roux’s creative New Orleans-style comfort food eats. The married couple owners also own and operate three Datz locations, Dough and Dr. BBQ. 4205 S MacDill Ave., Tampa Roy’s A Tampa Bay staple since 1999, Roy’s closed down this February. Its upscale, heavily seafoodfocused cuisine can still be enjoyed, though, at one of its Orlando, Bonita Springs or Jacksonville Beach locations. 4342 W Boy Scout Blvd., Tampa Sweet Tomatoes While not specific to Tampa, Sweet Tomatoes’ health-focused buffet-style eats could be found at seven locations in the Tampa Bay area, until its parent company recently announced all of its locations would be closing for good. Skipper’s Smokehouse After 40 years, iconic Tampa Bay music venue and restaurant Skipper’s Smokehouse closed after a final show Sunday, Sept. 27. The 1.6 acres of land Skipper’s sits on will be transformed into an outdoor special events space. 910 Skipper Rd., Tampa Stack ‘n’ Sizzle A Southern-inspired comfort food joint, Stack ‘n’ Sizzle served up both hefty stacks of pancakes and French toast as well as fried catfish and country fried steak in St. Pete until its recent closing. 401 49th St. S, St. Petersburg Tour de Pizza (37th Avenue location) Rising rent costs were cited as the reason for this pizza joint’s permanent closure. Known for its speciality pizzas and subs – including a breakfast pizza – Tour de Pizza shut down after almost 10 years in St. Pete. It’s been replaced by Westshore Pizza. That said, there’s still a location open at 8824 4th St N. in Saint Petersburg. 212 37th Ave., St. Petersburg Xtreme Tacos Although Xtreme Tacos closed the doors on its South Tampa location, patrons will soon be able to get a taste of their tostadas, sopes, and churros at their food truck location in Seminole Heights. Vegan options were available. 223 S Howard, Tampa
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HAPPY HOUR AT AMSO
Recently Reviewed: Takeout in Tampa Bay
Monday - Friday, 4pm-7pm Saturday 3pm-6pm
In the 2,117 months since coronavirus upended the Bay area food scene, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay’s Jon Palmer Claridge—the Bay area’s longest-running food critic—switched gears, stayed home and went to reviewing local takeout options. Until it’s 100% safe to be shoulderto-shoulder with each other in restaurants, I don’t see CL moving away from takeout reviews and back to restaurant ratings. In the meantime, enjoy the last five takeout reviews from JPC. If you think there’s an out-of-this-world takeout experience he needs to try, please shoot me an email at comments@cltampa.com. Oh, wear a mask and wash your hands, too. —Ray Roa Avo’s Kitchen at Iberian Rooster Each dish we try is full of flavor and well-balanced. There’s lots of variety inside the broader world of curry spice. I’m seduced by “Prawn Stars” yummy bread bowl, which catches all the juices; the moist curried shrimp are just scrumptious surrounded by cauliflower rice and chickpeas topped with tart and crunchy rings of colorful pickled red onions, which add a lovely pink accent. The loaf is surrounded by mixed greens. I can’t resist tearing the empty bowl into pieces to enjoy the amalgam of flavors. The meal is definitely worth it—another triumph of experiencing world cuisine without the 9,000 mile journey. $3-$16. 475 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-258-8753; avoskitchen.com Taqueria Margarita Elia Maldonado proudly shares Abuela’s recipes homemade with the freshest ingredients, which instantly recall the pure flavors and aromas of food stalls in the Mercado de Coyoacán (abuela comes from México, Mexico). The array is mostly a familiar list: asada (beef), pollo (chicken), el pastor (marinaded pork), carnitas (pulled pork), campechano (meat combo), and chorizo (spicy sausage). On some days, there’s decadent and juicy quesabirria served traditionally, as a twice-cooked taco, or Instagram-ready as a tortilla “pizza” with the carne spread between two browned tortillas—and, yes, with a drool worthy consommé for dipping. $2.25-$11. 4001 W. Dr. Martin Luter King Jr. Blvd., Tampa. 813-466-2484; @taqueriamargaritatpa on Instagram and Facebook Bodega on Central Perfectly designed to thrive in the face of the challenges facing the
industry, Cubans and pork sandwiches are favorites, and the chicken version is a flavor explosion with contrasting textures, as well. The flattened breast meat is balanced with smooth avocado and mango against crunchy jicama and fiery pickled chilies with some mango mayo. It’s a memorable mouthful for fans of spice. $0.50-$9. 1120 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-623-0942; eatatbodega.com Bon Appétit There’s no denying the drop dead gorgeous views from Bon Appétit out over Saint Joseph Sound. The lobster bisque has a de rigueur hit of sherry. It’s dotted with meaty bits in a flavorful stock that’s on the less creamy side; tasty, if not sigh-inducing. A homemade Key lime pie that’s sweet-tart and creamy. $4.95-$85.95. 148 Marina Plaza, Dunedin. 727-733-2151; bonappetitrestaurant.com Parkshore Grill Executive Chef Tyson Grant’s team has put a lot of thought into what works best to be transported is their handsome recycled brown cardboard boxes. The juicy Parkshore burger sits on a toasted brioche bun and is smothered in a seductive mix of sweet caramelized onions, crisp bacon, and tangy blue cheese. A large meaty piece of roasted organic Scottish salmon has plenty of flavor even without the yummy shallot-tarragon butter and the bright green jumbo asparagus are delightfully al dente. So often, this veggie ends up mushy and unpalatable even in restaurants, so this is a welcome takeout surprise. $2.50$72 Beach Dr. NE No. 104, St. Petersburg. 727-896-9463. parkshoregrill.com
$4, $5 & $6 Liquor, Beer & Wine $8 Hand-Crafted Cocktails
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34 | DECEMBER 31, 2020 - JANUARY 06, 2021 | cltampa.com
In the wake of concerns about the novel coronavirus, it’s best to call or visit the websites of these breweries to check on their offerings. 3 DAUGHTERS BREWING One of the Warehouse Arts District’s most popular hangouts, and a beautiful facility in which to drink some great brews. 222 22nd St. S., St. Petersburg. 727-495-6002, 3dbrewing.com 3 KEYS BREWING South-of-the-Skyway restaurant and brewery specializing in small batches. 2505 Manatee Ave. E., Bradenton. 951-218-0396, 3keysbrewing.com 7VENTH SUN BREWING Some of the best sours, IPAs and collabs going. Two locations. 1012 Broadway, Dunedin. 727-733-3013/6809 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa. 813-231-5900, 7venthsun.com 81BAY BREWING CO. South Tampa’s first craft brewery boasts a wide variety of styles. 4465 W. Gandy Blvd., Tampa. 813-837-BREW, 81baybrewco.com ANGRY CHAIR Crazy-good Tampa beer, open Tuesday-Sunday. 6401 N. Florida Ave., Seminole Heights. 813-238-1122, angrychairbrewing.com ANTIBREWERY Dunedin’s secret Sundays-only nano. 1367 Martin Luther King Jr. Ave., Dunedin
brewery. There’s also a taproom at Amalie Arena. 3924 W. Spruce St., Tampa. 813-348-6363, cigarcitybrewing.com CLEARWATER BREWING CO. Community-oriented and socially and environmentally conscious. 1700 N. Fort Harrison Ave., Clearwater. clearwaterbrewingcompany.com COPPERTAIL BREWING CO. Some of Tampa’s best beer, in one of its best tasting rooms. 2601 E. 2nd Ave., Tampa. 813-247-1500, coppertailbrewing.com COTEE RIVER BREWING Craft beer in the heart of historic downtown New Port Richey. 5760 Main St., New Port Richey. 727-807-6806, coteeriverbrewing.com CRAFT LIFE BREWING Small-batch local brews and a sort of playground or LoL’s craft brewing guild. 4624 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., Land O’ Lakes. 813-575-8440. facebook.com/CraftLifeBrewing CROOKED THUMB BREWERY Safety Harbor’s first brewery boasts homegrown flavor and local guest taps. 555 10th Ave. S., Safety Harbor. 727-724-5953, crookedthumbbrew.com
HOB BREWING CO. Rotating taps; some of the beers are brewed on-site and alongside a combination of local breweries plus local and international craft beer makers. 931 Huntley Ave., Dunedin. hob.beer IF I BREWED THE WORLD This self-described “mixtape of breweries” offers a bit of everything from the classic to the fun and outrageous. 2200 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-201-4484, ifibrewedtheworld. com IN THE LOOP BREWING Family-friendly Land O’ Lakes brewery with a lot of community support and plenty of events. 3338 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., Land O’ Lakes. 813-997-9189, intheloopbrewingcompany.com INFUSION BREWING CO. Another great location in the good-beer-packed Trinity/New Port Richey area. 7813 Mitchell Blvd. Ste 103, Trinity. 727-312-4512. INOCULUM ALE WORKS These folks are crazy for sours, and know how to craft ‘em. 554 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. inoculumaleworks.com JDUB’S BREWING COMPANY You know ‘em, you love ‘em. A favorite statewide phenomenon. 1215 Mango Ave., Sarasota. 941-955-2739, jdubsbrewing.com
brewing its own in early 2018. 2244 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-360-0766, stpetearcadebar.com ROCK BROTHERS BREWING Brews named for national and local bands have a home in Ybor City. 1901 N. 15th St., Ybor City. 813-241-0110, rockbrothersbrewing.com SARASOTA BREWING COMPANY House-crafted brews, pizza, and sports out toward beautiful Siesta Key. 6607 Gateway Ave., Sarasota. 941-925-2337, sarasotabrewing.com SILVERKING BREWING CO. This space in Tarpon Springs complements a label that’s been around since 2012. 325 East Lemon St., Tarpon Springs. 727-4227598, silverkingbrewing.com SIX TEN BREWING A wide variety and a real passion for the craft-brew community. 7052 Benjamin Rd., Tampa. 813-886-0610, sixtenbrewing.com SOGGY BOTTOM BREWING More Dunedin goodness, including some truly original flavors and inventive brews. 660 Main St., Dunedin. 727-601-1698, soggybottombrewing.com
AVID BREWING This Grand Central brewing supply shop added a taproom for its beers crafted in-house. 1745 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-388-6756, avidbrew.com
CUENI BREWING CO. Located off the Pinellas Trail in Dunedin. 945 Huntley Ave., Dunedin. 727-266-4102, cuenibrewing.com
LAGERHAUS BREWERY & GRILL A Palm Harbor bar and eatery that offers seasonal brews to complement their regulars. 3438 East Lake Business, Palm Harbor. 727-216-9682, lagerhausbrewery.com
SOUTHERN BREWING & WINEMAKING Multiple brews only available in its tasting room, as well as products and guidance for local homebrewers. 4500 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa. 813-238-7800, southernbrewingwinemaking.com
CYCLE BREWING One of St. Pete’s favorites. 534 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-320-7954. cyclebrewing.com
LATE START BREWING This beloved Tampa label does its thing inside the Pour House. 1208 E. Kennedy Blvd. #112, Tampa. 813-402-2923, latestartbrewing.com
ST. PETE BREWING COMPANY Beers crafted specifically for the climate. 544 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-692-8809, stpetebrewingcompany.com
BARRIEHAUS BEER CO. Lager-specific brewery, carrying on an over 150 year brewing legacy. 1403 E 5th Ave., Ybor City. barriehaus.com
DARWIN BREWING CO. Unique beers crafted with South American influence. 803 17th Ave. W., Bradenton. 941-747-1970, darwinbrewingco.com
BAY CANNON BEER CO. West Tampa's first craft brewery, offering a variety of ever evolving beers, beer slushies and wine that pair perfectly with appetizers and entrées from the kitchen. 813-442-5615, baycannon.com
DE BINE BREWING CO. This addition bolsters the Northern Pinellas craft beer scene. 933 Florida Ave., Palm Harbor. 727-233-7964.
LEAVEN BREWING Riverview’s first brewery is run by folks who’ve got experience brewing big and small. 11238 Boyette Rd., Riverview. 813-677-7023, leavenbrewing.com
STILT HOUSE BREWERY This friendly Palm Harbor joint specializes in high-ABV ales and other styles you won’t find at other breweries in the area. 625 US Hwy Alt. 19, Palm Harbor. 727-270-7373, stilthousebrewery.com
MAD BEACH CRAFT BREWING Brews, ciders, and meads by the beach. 12945 Village Boulevard, Madeira Beach. 727-362-0008, madbeachbrewing.com
SWAN BREWING Nearly 4 decades of combined brewing experience go into the offerings at this petfriendly joint. 115 W. Pine St., Lakeland. 863-703-0472, swanbrewing.com
MARKER 48 Hernando’s first production craft brewery, with its own tasting room and beer garden 12147 Cortez Blvd, Weeki Wachee. 352-606-2509, marker48.com
TBBC Formerly Tampa Bay Brewing Co., local favorite for nearly two decades. 1600 E. 8th Ave., Ybor City/13933 Monroe’s Business Park, Westchase. 813247-1422, tbbc.beer
ARKANE ALEWORKS A wide variety of styles and flavors from the second brewery to open in Largo. 2480 E. Bay Dr., #23, Largo. 727-270-7117, arkanebeer.com
BIG STORM BREWING CO. Stop by this Pasco brewery’s Storm Room for a flight, or visit their taproom on 49th Street in Clearwater, too. 2330 Success Dr., Odessa. 727-807-7998, bigstormbrewery.com BIG TOP BREWING Perhaps Sarasota’s premier purveyor of locally crafted beer, Big Top’s reputation has spread far beyond the region. 6111 Porter Way, Sarasota. 941-371-2939, bigtopbrewing.com BOOTLEGGERS BREWING CO. This Brandon taproom from Bootleggers Beer & Wine Home Brewing Supplies offers house-made suds and guest beers. 652 Oakfield Dr., Brandon. 813-643-9463, bootleggersbrewco.com BRASSERIE ST. SOMEWHERE Award-winning Belgian farmhouse ales from veteran Bay area brewer Bob Sylvester. 1441 Savannah Ave., Tarpon Springs. 813-503-6181, saintsomewherebrewing.com BREW BUS BREWING BB brews its own suds, boasts 20 taps and offers food at its Eatery, too. 4101 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-990-7310, brewbususa.com BREW HUB Some of the area’s best beers are produced here along with suds for their own label. 3900 Frontage Rd. S., Lakeland. 863-698-7600, brewhub.com
DISSENT BREWING CO. Unique flavors and adventurous style outside downtown St. Pete. 5518 Haines Rd. N., St. Petersburg. 727-342-0255.
BAY AREA BREWERIES
DUNEDIN BREWERY Florida’s oldest. Beer, eats and live music. 937 Douglas Ave., Dunedin. 727-736-0606, dunedinbrewery.com DUNEDIN HOUSE OF BEER This beer stop brews its own, and also has 40 guest taps. 927 Broadway, Dunedin. 727 216-6318, dunedinhob.com
ESCAPE BREWING CO. Another very worthy Odessa/Trinity destination. 9945 Trinity Blvd., Suite 108, Trinity. 727-807-6092, escapebrewingcompany.com FIVE BRANCHES Veteran-owned brewery, small batches from IPAs to stouts. Serving up brews and a clear view of the Tarpon Bayou. 531 Athens St., Tarpon Springs. fivebranchesbrewing.com FLYING BOAT BREWING COMPANY St. Pete aviation history and tasty homegrown suds. 1776 11th Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-800-2999, flyingboatbrewing.com
BREW LIFE BREWING Ultra-small batches, and a lot of ‘em. 5765 S. Beneva Rd., Sarasota. 941-952-3831, brewlifebrewing.com
FOUR STACKS BREWING An always-changing lineup of local and regional guest suds, along with trivia, live music and more. 5469 N. US HWY 41, Apollo Beach. 813-641-2036, fourstacksbrewing.com
BULLFROG CREEK BREWING CO. A multitude of styles from former garage brewers is on tap in Valrico. 3632 Lithia Pinecrest Rd., Valrico. 813-703-8835, bullfrogcreekbrewing.com
GREEN BENCH BREWING COMPANY A space worthy of the adventurous beers it produces. 1133 Baum Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-800-9836, greenbenchbrewing.com
CAGE BREWING Custom brews in the Grand Central District from one of the ‘Burg’s newest. 2001 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-201-4278
GOOD LIQUID BREWING CO. Thirty taps and food (and a coffee roaster!) from a husband-and-wife duo. 4824 14th St. W., Bradenton. 941-896-6381, thegoodliquidbrewing.co
CALEDONIA BREWING Great in-house beers in the historic Dunedin Times building. 587 Main St., Dunedin. 727-351-5105, caledoniabrewing.com CALUSA BREWING Family owned and operated, opened Tuesday to Sunday. 5701 Derek Ave., Sarasota. 941-922-8150, calusabrewing.com CARROLLWOOD BREWING CO. “Secret” brewing action inside the Carrollwood location of craft-bar chain The Brass Tap. 10047 N. Dale Mabry HWY, STE 23, Tampa. 813-969-2337 CIGAR CITY BREWING Tampa’s most famous craft
GRINDHAUS BREW LAB Small batches and no extracts. 1650 N. Hercules Ave., Clearwater. 727-2400804, grindhausbrewlab.com GULFPORT BREWERY + EATERY Small batches with an artisanal food menu. 3007 Beach Blvd., Tampa. facebook.com/GulfportBrewery HIDDEN SPRINGS ALE WORKS This Tampa Heights brewery features a rotating tap selection. 1631 N. Franklin St., Tampa, 813-226-2739, hiddenspringsaleworks.com
MASTRY’S BREWING CO. From CD Roma’s restaurant to sweet new digs on St. Pete Beach. 7701 Blind Pass Rd., St. Pete Beach. 727-202-8045 mastrysbrewingco.com MOTORWORKS BREWING A taproom and beer garden featuring full liquor and wine as well as 30 taps. 1014 9th Street West, Bradenton. 941-567-6218, motorworksbrewing.com MR. DUNDERBAK’S The longtime restaurant, biergarten and homebrewers’ hangout is serving up its own beers. 14929 Bruce B. Downs Blvd., Tampa. 813-9774104, dunderbaks.com NAUGHTY MONK BREWERY Naughty Monk brings a love of Belgian styles to Manatee County. 2507 Lakewood Ranch Blvd., Bradenton. 941-708-2966, naughtymonkbrewery.com OVERFLOW BREWING St. Pete’s newest, courtesy of local Rapp head brewer Troy Bledsoe and company. 770 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-914-0665, facebook.com/overflowbrewingco PEPPER BREWING The Angry Pepper Taphouse’s in-house label, available “on a limited basis.” 9366 Oakhurst Rd., Seminole. 727-596-5766, angrypeppertaphouse.com PESKY PELICAN BREW PUB This beachy restaurant also offers up its own beers thanks to an in-house nano system. 923 72nd. St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-3029600, peskypelicanbrewpub.com PINELLAS ALE WORKS PAW offers a dog-friendly environment in addition to tasty brews. 1962 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-235-0970, pawbeer.com RAPP BREWING COMPANY Greg Rapp’s awardwinning styles are carefully crafted and delicious. 10930 Endeavor Way, Seminole. 727-544-1752, rappbrewing.com RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER This video gamecentric Grand Central District craft beer bar started
TAMPA BEER WORKS At the former site of ESB Brewing, TBW focuses on American craft styles. 333 N. Falkenburg Rd., Suite D407 Tampa. 813-685-1909, tampabeerworks.com TIDAL BREWING COMPANY Small batches in Spring Hill. 14311 Spring Hill Dr., Spring Hill. 352-701-1602,tidalbrewingfl.com TWO FROGS BREWING COMPANY Tarpon Springs’ latest brewery and taproom focuses on American ale styles. 151 E. Tarpon Ave., Tarpon Springs. 727-940-6077, facebook.com/ twofrogsbrewing KEEL FARMS AGRARIAN ALE + CIDER Tasty brews from the folks behind Keel & Curley winery. 5210 W. Thonotosassa Rd., Plant City. 813-752-9100, keelandcurleywinery.com TWO LIONS WINERY & PALM HARBOR BREWERY Wine and beer brewed in-house. 1022 Georgia Ave., Palm Harbor. 727-786-8039, twolionswinery.com ULELE SPRING BREWERY Beer crafted in accordance with traditional Bavarian purity laws. 1810 N. Highland Ave., Tampa. 813-999-4952, ulele.com THE WILD ROVER BREWERY What started as an English pub in Odessa is now a higher-production facility in Westchase. 13921 Lynmar Blvd., Tampa. 813-4755995, thewildroverbrewery.com WOODWRIGHT BREWING COMPANY Traditional German styles in downtown Dunedin. 985 Douglas Ave., Dunedin. 727-238-8717, facebook.com/ woodwrightbrewing ZEPHYRHILLS BREWING COMPANY East Paco’s first microbrewery. 38530 5th Ave., Zephyrhills. 813715-2683, zbcbeer.com ZYDECO BREW WERKS Craft brews in Ybor thanks to an award-winning brewmaster, as well as full bars and NOLA-influenced cuisine. 1902 E. 7th Ave., Ybor City. 813-252-4541, facebook.com/Zydecobrewwerks
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ORGANIZED BY THE HEARD MUSEUM, PHOENIX, ARIZONA MADE POSSIBLE BY TINNEY RUG CLEANERS, STATE OF FLORIDA DIVISION OF CULTURAL AFFAIRS AND THE FLORIDA COUNCIL ON ARTS AND CULTURE, WITH ADDITIONAL SUPPORT FROM BANK OF AMERICA AND THE GARTH FAMILY FOUNDATION. Venancio Francis Aragon, Navajo, b. 1985, Prism of Emotions, 2019, Heard Museum Collection, Gift of the Heard Museum Council
38 | DECEMBER 31, 2020 - JANUARY 06, 2021 | cltampa.com
TMZ-12: Tom Brady brought paparazzi with him to Tampa Bay.
MOVIES
THEATER
ART
CULTURE
BUCCANEERS
Brady’s bunch
CL’s top A&E stories of 2020 prove you sickos love Tom and might also be interested in beheading politicians. By Ray Roa
I
t’s mostly all you sunburned Tampa Bay people, but salty Patriots fans are also flocking to cltampa.com in 2020 just to read about ol’ Tom Brady. He dominated web traffic, and in some ways, all the A&E headlines this year, but here are some of the posts and stories that got the most attention in our A&E vertical. Tom Brady arrives in Tampa Bay From the day he signed a two-year agreement to be the Buccaneers quarterback, Tom Brady has unsurprisingly attracted TMZ levels of attention. In April, we all learned that the G.O.A.T was moving into Derek Jeter’s 21,796 square-foot mansion on Davis Islands. Zillow estimated rent for this house at $44,321 a month, but we wouldn’t be surprised if Jeter gave the fellow Michigander a better deal. The home comes with seven bedrooms, and nine bathrooms, as well as a pool and two boat lifts, but it also came with boat-driving stalkers unafraid to pull right up to the back of the pad. “I forgot people could drive up to
your house,” Brady told Howard Stern in April. “Here they can pull right up to the back of the house. Derek did a pretty good job of screening it. I am a little bit of an introvert. I feel like my house is my place I can relax. When you are outside the house, you understand everything with being me... in the backyard there’s a lot of boats that have pulled up and people at the front.” But the fun didn’t stop there. A few weeks after the Stern interview, Tom Brady tried to get some workouts in but was kicked out of a Tampa park closed due to the coronavirus. A few days after that, Brady accidentally broke into some guy’s house when he barged into a home owned by local man David Kramer looking for Buccaneers offensive coordinator Byron Leftwich. Kramer told TMZ he was sitting in his kitchen talking on the phone, when the G.O.A.T. just walked in without knocking, carrying two duffle bags. “I literally was just sitting here and I watch this tall guy just walk into my house… He didn’t even look at me. He
just dropped his duffel bags down on the floor and just kind of like looked up at me and I’ll never forget the look on his face.” The rest of the year has gone well for TB12. The Bucs are 9-5 and in control of their playoff hopes, and no one seemed to care in March when Brady’s TB12 company announced it was selling a non-FDA approved, homeopathic medley of vitamins that allegedly will “activate your immune system.” In fact, no one cared when Brady—a man with a two-year, $50 million deal with the Tampa Bay Bucs and over $260 million dollars in career earnings—bought a 40-foot super yacht despite his aforementioned company receiving a $960K PPP loan (those loans were supposed to go to the hardest hit companies, including many Black and brown-owned endeavours with historically troubling relationships with banks that have systematically discriminated against people of color). So, yeah, go Bucs, amirite?
The $1,200 in your coronavirus stimulus check is exactly how much you need to build a guillotine With recent news of another round of stimulus checks, it’s a good time to remind you that there’s an ethical way to spend your coronavirus stimulus check—but screw it. It’s finally beautiful outside, sunny and temperate, and seeing as how absolutely everything everywhere is pretty unsafe on account of a global pandemic, you’ve probably already gotten caught up on all the yard work you could possibly do. Now what? Might we suggest getting started on a new project? Specifically: Maybe you should build a guillotine! Where is the cash for this project going to come from? Luckily our country’s own wise and benevolent leaders saw fit to cut the vast majority of us a check for $1,200 in an effort to stimulate the economy. And while you’ll only get half in 2021, in a stroke of luck for the fan of the homemade guillotine, you can link up with a friend and combine your checks because $1,200 just so continued on page 40
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happens to be the exact amount the internet says it would cost to build one. But remember, this is just meant to be a fun project, not a tool for the people to use against a corrupt ruling class, as was the case in France. Our own federal governmental response to this current pandemic obviously went great—we’re currently no. 1 in the world as far as confirmed cases are concerned (being number 1 is good right? USA! USA!). What grievance could we even need redressed? Everyone should watch this stand-up comedian’s love letter to Tampa In May, stand-up comedian, and CL favorite, Steve Miller had some thoughts about his hometown of Tampa, like how we should be proud of our rich tradition of inventing things like the lap dance, the Cuban sandwich and “a parade for a pirate that doesn’t exist just so could get drunk and pee on rich people’s lawns.” As part of the Straz Center for Performing Arts’ Tampa Total Request Live series, the video followed Miller around Tampa as he posed in front of familiar landmarks, while keeping his mic stand and a tallboy of Bud Light Lime with him at all times.The video hits on a few key reasons Miller misses Tampa, and how people from New York City are all trying to move here. “I miss not being able to find a place to sit at Armature Works,” says Miller. “I miss driving over the bridge to St. Pete to buy kombucha and crystals (pretty sure that’s all that they sell there). I miss waking up on a Monday morning for the thousandth time swearing to myself that I’ll never drink liquor at The Hub again. But most all, I miss you, Tampa.” Marc Maron has some thoughts on Tampa and Orlando: ‘Bad food, we had bad food in Florida’ Podcast king and comedian Marc Maron was in Florida over Valentine’s weekend, and he had some interesting observations about Tampa and Orlando. In an episode of his “WTF” podcast, Maron spent the opening minutes of the episode talking about his shows at Orlando’s Hard Rock Live and the Straz Center for Performing Arts in Tampa. “Audiences were tremendous, great audiences. But despite that my opinions on Florida have not changed at all,” Maron said. “Shit went down, some weird shit went down. Nothing violent or hostile or even painful, but Florida is Florida, and if you know what I’m talking about, you know what I’m talking about.” “Bad food, we had bad food in Florida,” he said about Orlando, which he admitted to being “nervous about” since he didn’t know anything about the town. “It’s only an hour-and-a-half to Tampa, but there was no fucking way—no reason—to hang around Orlando,” he said. When he got to Tampa, Maron
was perplexed by “hundreds of people” walking around downtown Tampa in period costumes as part of the big real-life “Clue” game happening on and around the Tampa Riverwalk. Maron was also unimpressed by Tampa’s changing downtown in general. “Downtown Tampa, again, I don’t want to judge, but it looks like it halfway happened,” he said. “It looked like there was an attempt at some point in time to kind of make it hip, to do something with downtown, and it might’ve happened for a month or two, or maybe a year, but it’s definitely on the other side of that.” Tiger King protesters and porno In April, Facebook ‘Tiger King’ trolls made a plan to storm Tampa’s Big Cat Rescue by posting a Facebook event calling for a gathering at the big cat sanctuary on July 10. That never happened, but social media is a great place to waste hours of your life, especially when your state is under a stay-at-home order. Speaking of staying at home and going online, one of the true constants in life is that everything you enjoy will eventually end up as a porno parody in some form or another, and the Netflix docuseries “Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness” is no exception. In May, Tampa-based Blazed Studios announced that it started casting calls for a “Tiger King” porno that will be filmed once the COVID-19 pandemic is behind us. Clearwater resident and WWE wrestler Hulk Hogan suggests ‘maybe we don’t need a vaccine’ In April as coronavirus continued to radically disrupt everyday life, including canceling Tampa’s Wrestlemania event, former WWE wrestler and Clearwater Beach resident Hulk Hogan had a very religious moment… then posted about it on Instagram. “In three short months, just like He did with the plagues of Egypt, God has taken away everything we worship,” wrote Hogan. “God said, “you want to worship athletes, I will shut down the stadiums. You want to worship musicians, I will shut down Civic Centers. You want to worship actors, I will shut down theaters. You want to worship money, I will shut down the economy and collapse the stock market. You don’t want to go to church and worship Me, I will make it where you can’t go to church.” Then he got into the heavy stuff. “Maybe we don’t need a vaccine,” says Hogan. “Maybe we need to take this time of isolation from the distractions of the world and have a personal revival where we focus on the ONLY thing in the world that really matters. Jesus.” Despite what Hogan says, we absolutely needed a vaccine—and now we have one. We hung in there, brother, hope you did, too. An artist made a Mario-style map of Tampa Bay It’s a-me, Tampa Bay! In May, French artist Lazare Viennot (@sir_lazz) said he was recently
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TRAFFIC GETTER: Tampa Bay loved this Mario-style map of home, featuring no jammed up bridges. commissioned to create a Tampa Bay map for a client, and it’s actually damn near perfect. A few things you might notice is Fort DeSoto State Park is an actual castle, which is very appropriate. But so is the Citrus Park Mall, and there’s a giant tower where MacDill Airforce Base is supposed to be. In a Reddit thread on r/ St.Petersburg, Viennot reminded everyone that he’s not actually from Tampa Bay, and did the best he could with the info he was given. “I... Honestly do not know those places!... My client gave me a small rundown of the places he wanted to see in the map but I’m not from there, so it’s very possible that I forgot a lot of things.” Either way, the map is great and prints are currently available, which allows you to get this on
a phone case, a t-shirt, a mug, a throw pillow or whatever you’re into. Carnival cruise ship stuck in Tampa sends love, spells ‘we will be back’ using cabin lights Cruise ships still obviously aren’t on the water much these days, but one Carnival crew stuck in the Port of Tampa while the coronavirus wreaks havoc on our lives had a message for Tampa Bay: “We will be back <3”. The love note was made using cabin lights, and a PR rep for Carnival said all its ships visible from land displayed the message. Sadly, the cruise ships aren’t back yet, and Carnival stocked dropped on Dec. 21 after the U.K. started stricter lockdowns in the wake of a new strain of coronavirus.
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42 | DECEMBER 31, 2020 - JANUARY 06, 2021 | cltampa.com
REVIEWS PROFILES MUSIC WEEK
DAVE DECKER
DETERMINED AF: Tom DeGeorge at Crowbar in Ybor City on Oct. 17, 2020.
Blood on the stage
Congress just passed important legislation, but the future remains uncertain for local venues. By Eric Snider
T
he suffering that Tampa Bay’s ticketed concert venues have endured during the pandemic has flown beneath the radar when compared to bars, restaurants and retail. “Absolutely,” Tom DeGeorge, who owns Crowbar in Ybor City and has become the local venue industry’s loudest voice and strongest advocate during the pandemic, told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “I don’t think anyone took us into consideration in the beginning. We got no funding. Legislators and officials didn’t understand our business model. When the restrictions loosened, we couldn’t just pick up where we left off, like bars and restaurants could.” Collectively, the country’s live-music industry has canceled or indefinitely postponed
thousands of shows. Touring has stopped, save for a few national acts willing to do limited regional jaunts and play small or mid-size venues. DJs, who travel light, are doing sets at clubs like The Ritz in Ybor City. Since the live-entertainment world shut down in March, many local venue operators have certainly shown their heavy mettle. (To be clear, this article is not about bars that hire local bands; it concerns venues that present mostly touring acts and sell tickets.) The Bay area’s venue industry in 2020 was devastated but not decimated—and should be applauded for its adaptability, innovation and resiliency. The expected carnage has not come. According to DeGeorge, only one venue has
outright closed: Skipper’s Smokehouse packed it in after holding 40th anniversary concerts in late September, but ownership said at the time that the pandemic was more the “nail in the coffin” than the primary reason. Count our market as fortunate. Nationwide, hundreds of music havens—mostly small, independent and for-profit—have shuttered during the pandemic. Although Tampa Bay venues have resumed limited programming, mostly at 50% capacity—and there is optimism for a rebound in 2021—they are by no means in the clear. Much hinges on the nearly $1 trillion coronavirus rescue bill that was being hashed out (and held up) before Congress finally came to an agreement on it Sunday night. Senators will vote on it Monday, Dec. 21 as the Dec. 31 issue of CL goes to the printer—and it still has to pass the desk of a president more focused on his election loss than he is on helping the American people—but Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer already lauded the legislation from the Senate floor.
“These venues are so important to my state and so many other states across the country. They are the lifeblood of our communities. They were the first to close and will be the last to open,” Schumer said. “This bill gives them a fighting chance.” Within that bill is the Save our Stages Act, which allocates $15 billion for small clubs, performing arts centers, large arenas, comedy clubs and Broadway theaters, as well as promoters and talent reps. The provision provides to venues grants equaling 45% of their average gross revenues from 2018 and 2019. On Tuesday, Dec. 15, Sen. Amy Klobuchar said that passage of the Save Our Stages Act was “looking good.” Those dollars should let most local establishments cover back rent and other expenses—in effect, allowing them to remain open. If the money does not come through, DeGeorge said, we’re likely to see a significant number of closures. While established, well-funded places like Ruth continued on page 44
VENUE NEWS
cltampa.com | DECEMBER 31, 2020 - JANUARY 06, 2021 | 43
Independent music clubs serve as launchpads for striving local acts and support emerging bands as stops on a national touring circuit. These music rooms become key gathering spots for a city’s younger denizens, those not ready to settle into cushy seats and watch established acts at performing arts centers. Not surprisingly, the indie joints are way down in the pecking order of government concern. Do you think Rick Scott or Ron DeSantis has ever given a passing thought to places like Crowbar, The Ritz or the Hideaway Café?
DAVE DECKER
ALL THE MONEY’S GONE: Geri X plays Palladium Theater in St. Petersburg on Nov. 6, 2020, just before the venue suspended live audiences again. continued from page 43 Eckerd Hall, the Straz Center, Amelie Arena and MidFlorida Amphitheater are almost certain to be spared, scrappy, independent music clubs are most at risk. “Some are three or more months behind on rent and they’ve been asking their landlords to hang on until they get the federal money,” DeGeorge explained. “If that doesn’t happen, expect landlords to start evicting. By Feb. 1, we could see a vast number of places closing.” DeGeorge said Crowbar was not, for time being, at risk of shutting down. However, he added, if a lot of other venues around the country close, it would leave him few options going forward. “With the debt I compiled this year and no touring bands for years, I would have no choice but to close.” He foresees a subsequent wave of real estate sales, where buildings that once housed music clubs will fall into the hands of developers looking to build new residential or multi-use projects. A fractured industry comes together It took a Herculean effort to get the $15 billion package into the sprawling federal rescue bill. In late March, just weeks after the pandemic forced the shutdown, operators quickly formed the National Independent Venue Association (NIVA).
DeGeorge was enlisted early in the process to be one of the Florida “captains.” “They liked that I had some pitbull in me,” he said. “I went from presenting shows to being a lobbyist virtually overnight. I learned fast.” The Crowbar owner said he has spent up to 12 hours a day on Zoom meetings and conference calls with lawmakers’ offices at the federal, state and local levels, as well as corralling mass support from advocates. “We’ve gotten two million emails sent to Congress,” he said. “I think it’s nothing short of remarkable how a bunch of indie venues got together and accomplished so much, regardless of the outcome.” NIVA, which has 29 Tampa Bay members (ranging from the Brass Mug to the Mahaffey Theater), had to convince lawmakers just how vital live venues are to communities—culturally and economically. Estimates say that for every dollar spent at a ticketed venue, $12 is dispersed throughout the community in restaurants, bars, hotels and elsewhere. “It’s my understanding that the Bonefish Grill on McMullen Booth [Road] near our building is the number one Bonefish in the country,” Bobby Rossi, Executive Vice President—Entertainment at Ruth Eckerd Hall, told CL. “That’ll happen when you have 200 live events a year taking place up the road.”
44 | DECEMBER 31, 2020 - JANUARY 06, 2021 | cltampa.com
A fitful journey out of the darkness After being forced to shut down in midMarch—near the end of a first quarter that saw most venues do robust, if not record, business—some concert-industry people felt they’d be dark for a month or two and then get back to business. That outlook proved too rosy. The coronavirus repeatedly surged and receded, rules shifted on what businesses could open and when, at what capacity, with or without masks, and what governing body had the ultimate say. The maelstrom caused widespread uncertainty. “The recommendations were so patchwork that it seemed like you could interpret them in any way you wanted,” Rob Douglas, a long-time Bay area concert promoter who books Jannus Landing, told CL. “There was no real leadership from the State of Florida or the federal level.” While restaurants could nimbly shift from 25% to 50% to 100% capacity, live music venues were hamstrung by logistical problems, as well as their collective conscience. One industry professional not authorized to speak on the record said, “Do you really want to be that guy?”—the place that screws things up, throws a bad light on the live-music community with super-spreader events. Booking calendars became puzzle boards, with widespread cancellations, and postponements upon postponements. “My eraser was working overtime,” Rossi said. “I’ve booked the same fuckin’ tours four times,” Douglas added. Rather than merely riding the plague out, venue personnel got creative—essentially reinventing their business model on the fly. The key was to figure out how to present shows in a safe, socially-distanced way. That meant limiting capacity. Reserved seat venues had different issues than general admission ones. Outdoor venues arguably had more flexibility than indoor ones. Questions hung over the process: How could the shows break even, let alone make a profit, under such a dark cloud? Was it even worth doing? The braintrust at the Palladium in St. Petersburg started batting around ways to reopen as early as May, and actually had some shows slated (but never announced). Ruth Eckerd Hall put a 38 Special show on sale for July 24. Jannus Live planned to present The
Wailers the following night. All of those dates were ultimately canceled or postponed, largely due to a spike in the coronavirus. Douglas explored the idea of booking twonight stands at some Central Florida drive-in theaters. When price quotes for staging and production came in, he got sticker shock. “I finally said, ‘fuck it,’” he recalled. “The expenses would’ve given me no upside. And that was without considering what I would pay the artists.” The summer months were marked by fits and starts—and a few modest successes. Ruth Eckerd Hall turned its capacious lobby into a performance space and presented 27 scaleddown, sold-out shows by the likes of Sister Hazel, Greg Billings and Mindi Abair. With (distanced) table seating, capacity was 120. “When I gave [Abair] her check, I said, ‘I’m sorry—I know it’s not what you normally make,’” Rossi recalled. “She looked at me and said, ‘You could’ve written any number on that check you wanted.’ She was so happy to be back performing again.” Amid the little victories was at least one boondoggle. In late August, the Cuban Club in Ybor City held a concert by rapper Moneybagg Yo. Even though the independent promoter said ticket sales were limited to 25% capacity, news stories called the place “packed” and photos circulating online showed concertgoers crammed in shoulder to shoulder. The event stirred a backlash from other venue operators, prompted widespread condemnation on social media and earned a public rebuke from Tampa Mayor Jane Castor. (It’s interesting to note that the Cuban Club is not a member of NIVA). Despite the mayor’s complaints, there’s not much stopping venues like Tampa’s Cuban Club from hosting outdoor concerts on private property. In late September, Gov. DeSantis issued an executive order that lifted the remaining coronavirus-related restrictions on all businesses, but left some regulatory discretion to municipalities. Venues got no clear message on whether it was permissible to fill their places to the max. Instead, most adhered to a self-imposed 50% limit. Live music at small clubs started to bubble up in September. Jannus Landing—capacity 2,000—partnered with popular Bay area party band The Black Honkeys in a seated concert on Oct. 3. Ticket sales, only available by the table, came close to reaching the 356-person limit, Douglas recalled. The courtyard venue is currently limiting its own events to half capacity but letting outside promoters set their own rules. Douglas booked a few monthly shows by Uncle John’s Band, providing the Grateful Dead tribute act a new home in a post-Skipper’s world. Those mostly older crowds tended to social distance themselves, Douglas said. With concerts that skew younger, “we have signage everywhere encouraging people to
“I’ve booked the same fuckin’ tours four times.”
please maintain social distancing,” Douglas said. “But you know what it’s like. People get a couple drinks in ‘em and their inhibitions are dispatched and the next thing you know there are 300 people crowded in front of the stage. Some bands don’t care and some bands do care, but there’s nothing we as a GA venue can do about it.” In early October, the Palladium rolled out five concerts by acts that reside locally—effectively moving them from the cabaret-style Side Door room to the 831-seat main theater. Ticket sales were limited to 180 and the audience was arrayed in socially-distanced seating pods. Shows by Nate Najar and Phil Fest, La Lucha and others either sold out or came close. But in mid-November, executive director Paul Wilborn emailed an update: Due to the coronavirus spike, the venue once again suspended live shows with audiences. Ruth Eckerd Hall, while not facing imminent demise like some smaller clubs, has incurred its share of pain. The venue had to cut full- and part-time employees from 310 to 53. (Management has plans to gradually bring staffers back as concert activity increases.) And lest some people think that a heritage nonprofit venue like Eckerd doesn’t have to sweat the bottom line, Rossi said that 80% of its budget is generated by ticket sales. Ruth Eckerd Hall struggled to find ways to admit enough people so it made sense to reopen. Early state and CDC guidelines limited the room to 29% capacity, Rossi said. That clearly didn’t make sense. When loosened rules finally permitted 50%, he got going—later than most, but in a big way. In the second week of December, Ruth Eckerd Hall and the Capitol Theater staged a full slate of shows, including Travis Tritt, 38 Special, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and a Fleetwood Mac tribute band. Ruth Eckerd Hall is operating at a max of 1,100 while the Capitol allows 375, with face coverings required for the foreseeable future. Crowbar has held a few “listening room” shows, with tables and chairs, limiting them to 25% of the space’s 300 capacity. The venue started with Have Gun, Will Travel on Oct. 17. “When I was completely dark, I was losing about $10,000 a month,” DeGeorge said. “Now that I’m open with limited shows, I’m losing about $13,000 a month. My moral compass said I can do a bigger service trying to show people an alternate way of doing things, and I also wanted to let my staff make some money.” Bay area venues are carefully emerging from their slumber. “No one’s getting rich here,” Rossi said. “But the thinking has been, ‘Let’s do this. It’s terrific being back in business again.”
What lies ahead What can we expect from the concert industry in 2021? When will it return to something that resembles normal? For starters, to co-opt a phrase from James Carville: It’s the vaccine, stupid. Most everyone in the live-music business agrees that widespread proliferation of the COVID19 vaccine will be the prime driver in gaining real momentum. Venues can then consider full-capacity shows. Acts will return to the road. Folks will feel safe attending concerts again. There seems little doubt that a pent-up demand for live music exists. D e G e o r g e — wh o ’s spearheaded a new “Safe & Sound” venue initiative to help concertgoers feel better about going to shows—feels that a nationwide mask mandate, an idea that has been floated by the incoming Biden administration, would certainly advance the cause. He also thinks that a coordinated national approach to fighting the pandemic is essential. “As long as matters are handled on a state-by-state basis, it’s a big problem,” he said. “You cannot effectively route national tours when every state is doing something different.”
These revised criteria could further stall the resumption of larger tours. Douglas told me back in April that concertindustry analysts he’d spoken to did not expect a return to something akin to normalcy until the fourth quarter of ’21. It seemed shocking at the time. Several months later, it merely “seems achievable,” he said. DeGeorge, too, thinks the concert business should recover fairly well by the fall of next year. While the country works toward mass inoculation, the live-music industry has to rebuild operations and adapt to new business paradigms. That’s why NIVA plans to continue on after the pandemic has been tamed. A national network of indie venues could help a notoriously fractured industry cooperate and put up a united front going forward. It could also make it easier for agents to organize tours. Rossi sees some silver linings amid the darkness. Overall, he said, “artists have been cooperative. The industry is now not so much a strict buyer/seller mentality as it is working together to make things happen. I think [the pandemic] has humanized the business. “You could argue that we needed a good scrub. We’d gotten too methodical. We got a chance to step back, take a look, and be ready to deal with that pent-up energy that you can only get from a live concert.”
ROD MILLINGTON
“The hope is that activity at bigger venues gets booked for summer and goes on sale in the spring.”
Rossi sees an interim step, where certain acts do short regional jaunts, called “run-outs,” carry minimal gear and perform two shows at half-capacity rather than one packed event. In fact, the building just booked Foreigner for March 27-28, with each night capping at 1,110. As far as the large venues, they’re likely to be slower to come online. Business at arenas and amphitheaters is driven by full-on tours, which involve more complex logistics and massive production, huge upfront expenses with far more dollars at risk, and potentially finicky stars who don’t need to tour. Even so, “the hope is that activity at bigger venues gets booked for summer and goes on sale in the spring,” Rossi said. “If they have to sit out another summer, I don’t know what will happen.” Douglas said that the country’s two major concert promotion companies—Live Nation and AEG—have been cautious about resuming operations, in part because of liability concerns. “They have very deep pockets and are trying to figure out a way to defend themselves in the event of big lawsuits where people say they contracted COVID-19 at their events,” he said. Furthermore, a Live Nation memo obtained by Rolling Stone spelled out how the concert behemoth was looking to shift significant financial burden to artists—starting with decreasing monetary guarantees by 20% across the board.
A BREATH OF ABAIR: Mindi Abair told Ruth Eckerd Hall promoters she was so happy to be back performing again.
cltampa.com | DECEMBER 31, 2020 - JANUARY 06, 2021 | 45
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A: It’s not clear, is it? People of every income level, race, gender, sexuality, and religion think about suicide. The Crisis Center of Tampa Bay is the community’s gateway to help, hope and healing. Last year alone, we assisted over 5,000 callers struggling with thoughts of suicide.
CALL 2•1•1 Be Heard. 46 | DECEMBER 31, 2020 - JANUARY 06, 2021 | cltampa.com
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is 800-capacity venue with just 200 seats, and its certificate of occupancy could arrive any day now.
CL’s most read music stories of 2020. By Ray Roa
V
enue closings and re-openings topped the most read music stories on cltampa.com this year. So many local stories about the plight of local venues and artists were also read, but the iHeart layoff of a popular DJ also made the big waves along with rappers standing up for essential workers, the convergence of Cardi B and Carole Baskin, and more.
to 900. In Tampa Bay, one of those dislocated voices was that of local hip-hop scene staple DJ Sandman, a 15-year vet of 95.7-FM The Beat, who was one of more than 20 iHeartRadio employees laid off from the Tampa building on Gandy Boulevard. Sandman landed on his feet, however, and launched his new record label, Illsboro, which has already released eight titles including Bobby Wolf’s new single “Gutta Baby.”
After 40 years, Tampa’s iconic Skipper’s Smokehouse is closing The 1.6 acres of land Skipper’s sits on will be transformed into an outdoor special events space that will open occasionally for private events. Sporadic concerts are possible, but the restaurant will be permanently closed. In a Sept. 25 phone call with Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, Cricket Larson, Director of Marketing and Public Relations at Skipper’s Smokehouse, said that the closure is a result of a combination of a lot of different things—the financial impact of the pandemic being one of the most significant. “COVID was the nail on the coffin,” Larson said.
Beloved Tampa music venue New World Brewery opens its new location next week In February, the beloved live music venue, restaurant and bar—which, in 2017, closed in Ybor City after a 22-year run—finally opened at 810 E Skagway Ave. and then went to limited use and capacity in March. The bar and outdoor area of the new New World is home to no-cover shows on a stage facing a grassy knoll, and a 300-person music hall is finally shaping up, too. Floridian Social Club says ‘concert schedule takes precedence over everything’ at St. Pete’s renamed State Theatre In an April chat with Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, Operating Principal Kevin Chadwick, who manages a trust that bought the old State Theatre for $2.1 million in June 2018, reiterated the renamed and majorly-renovated/restored venue’s commitment to booking live music. The new space
Cardi B responds to criticism from Tampa’s Big Cat CEO Carole Baskin: ‘Girl you killed your goddamn husband’ Two eras of 2020 pop culture collided in August when Baskin criticized rapper Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion for using big cats in their internet-breaking song “WAP.” In an interview with Vice, Cardi offered a rebuttal, “I’m not gonna engage with Carole Baskin on that. Like, that’s just ridiculous you know? Oh, Lord. Like, girl you killed your goddamn husband.” Four months later, a tiger nearly tore off the arm of a Big Cat rescue volunteer. Tampa’s DJ Sandman among more than 20 local iHeartRadio employees laid off this week On Jan. 14, iHeartMedia announced a “new organizational structure” and “technology transformation,” aimed at modernizing the company. And by modernizing, we guess iHeart meant trading humans for machines. A Rolling Stone story set the number of laid off employees at close
YEAR IN REVIEW
Pauly D will perform at Tampa’s new Sugar Factory next week Jersey Shore star and tank top enthusiast DJ Pauly D did a set at the newlyopened Sugar Factory at Tampa’s Seminole Hard Rock Casino in January, and the web post took fresh to death traffic because, well, locals really love Cheesecake Factory, too. Florida rapper Plies says Publix employees should ‘get paid like they risking their fucking life’ In April, the 43-year-old Florida rapper
Dee Snider rips Florida anti-maskers who used his song during Target stunt In September, a video went viral showing a group of anti-mask protesters parading through a Fort Lauderdale Target while blasting Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It.” Dee Snider also was not gonna take it. “These selfish assholes do not have my permission or blessing to use my song for their moronic cause,” he wrote on Twitter. The “flash mob” was organized by the ReOpen South Florida group. According to the Sun Sentinel, the stunt resulted in Broward County fining the Target store for not enforcing the mask law, and protestors also received citations.
CARDI B/YOUTUBE
Musician Don Miggs is selling his Lala Mansion in South Tampa Miggs and his wife Lisa DeBartolo, daughter of recently pardoned Edward DeBartolo, put their nearly 16,000-squarefoot house on the market in late-September. It was previously owned by Outback Steakhouse and PDQ co-founder Bob Bashum, who actually transformed the pool house into a mini Outback location. To this day, the commercialgrade kitchen is still there. But now, the space is used for a SSL world-class studio, which is known as the “LaLa Mansion.”
Florida DJ Griff Gotti, an alum of Tampa’s Ol’ Dirty Sundays, dies after testing positive for coronavirus On March 21, Lee County DJ Conrad Buchanan—aka Griff Gotti—revealed that he tested positive for the novel coronavirus. The 39-year-old implored his social media followers to be vigilant about their health and described how his wife was nursing him through the “extremely hard” time. He said he was doing everything he could to get his health back on track. But on March 26, Buchanan, who played Ybor City’s famed Ol’ Dirty Sundays (ODS) at Crowbar party early last year, sadly died. Friends asked that Buchanan’s death not be in vain, and ODS has honored that by staging safe shows and even postponing when local restrictions or coronavirus spikes make it too sketchy to gather in a responsible manner.
went on Twitter to post a minute-long video wondering why the hell Publix employees— plus other non-healthcare frontline workers like bank tellers, airline stewardesses and even “fucking doctors”—don’t get paid like they’re risking their lives. “I woke up this morning, and I thought about it... this shit about, ‘We the richest country in the world,’ I get all of that… But what I don’t get, you tell us 100,000 people gonna die from this pandemic. Only 3,000 people that died so far. So that means 97,000 more people gotta die,” Plies added, not knowing that the death count would surpass 320K. “People are here on the front line, still risking they fucking life, while you CEOs home quarantined with you goddamn family... You don’t risk your fucking life but no $9 an hour, no $11 an hour, no fucking $30 an hour. Pay’ em like they risking their life.” Where’s the lie?
TALK YOUR SHIT, BITE YOUR LIP: Two eras of 2020 pop culture collided when Cardi B clapped back at Carole Baskin.
cltampa.com | DECEMBER 31, 2020 - JANUARY 06, 2021 | 47
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THU DECEMBER 31–WED JANUARY 07 By Stephanie Powers
JJ Grey
On Dec. 21, the Florida Department of Health reported 11,015 new COVID-19 infections, bringing the state’s overall caseload to 1.2 million (there were 2,249 new coronavirus cases and 24 deaths added in the Tampa Bay area). Another state report said 43,716 people had received the first dose of the Pfizer vaccine statewide. Still, local hospitalizations from coronavirus were up from 1,061 on Sunday to 1,122, and, still, the live music scene tries to find its feet. Below are some live music options for the next few days. We’ve marked the gigs at venues that have joined a local “Safe & Sound” initiative that pledges to strictly enforce limited capacity, mask wearing and social distancing.
ANTHONY MARTINO
Designated Safe And Sound Venue
THU 31
JJ Grey and Mofro JJ Grey and Mofro, one of the many successful bands to come out of the bush near Jacksonville, is bringing its lil’-bit-Southern-rock-lil’-bit-soul sound to Jannus Live for New Year’s Eve. Influenced in part by Jacksonville’s most famous band, Lynyrd Skynyrd, but also by the Otis Redding Dictionary of Soul, frontman Grey—who also snuck in a solo set in Ybor City on Dec. 30—has amassed a tribe of followers drawn to his appreciation of grandma’s home cooking (“Ho Cake”), message of conservation (“Lochloosa”) and Tampa Bay (“Ybor City”). Jannus’ website encourages masks, and Creative Loafing Tampa Bay has reached out to officials at the 2,000-capacity venue to see how many tickets will be sold for the event, but the show is also being livestreamed so you can stay safe at home, too. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg) C Chill Year’s Eve: Ari Chi w/His Hem/ Rebekah Pulley/Steve Miller The folks at Straz Performing Arts Center are being good role models with their outside "Chill Year’s Eve" event on the Riverwalk stage. Presented by Roxanne Gallo and Zachary Hines—hosts of the Best of the Baywinning streaming talent show Tampa Total Request Live—the event is being deemed a “safe and responsible alternative” to your usual NYE rager. I know there’s a lot of pent up rage that you’re dying to get out in the form of drinking and dancing until a Waffle House after-party, but save that for a year from now (hopefully). A slew of Tampa talent will be entertaining including Ari Chi. Last week, Chi collaborator Natalie Depergola told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that Chi’s “Hot Honey” was one of her favorite songs of the year, adding that the songwriter’s passion, drive, heart and musical mind is inspiring. “She scats/ runs/riffs vocally in a way that sounds
like a saxophone,” Depergola—who’s just released her own new single “Like the Players Do”—wrote. Chi’s prowess leads to multiple time signature and phrasing changes and without giving away the simple beauty of the songs and poetry of the lyrics. “She is also a genuine kind warm hearted human being who is spreading love and inspiring people all around.” (Riverwalk Stage at David A. Straz Center for the Performing Arts, Tampa) Carnage w/Max Vangeli/Lolo Mayhew/D. Pablo/Nick Hogan Guatemalan-American DJ Carnage is headlining New Year’s Eve at appropriatelynamed waterside restaurant and venue WTR at the Godfrey Hotel. Also on the bill, DJs Max Vangeli, Lolo Mayhew, D. Pablo and Nick Hogan—yes, Nick Hogan, whose dad is Hulk Hogan. So who knows, maybe you’ll get to do a socially-distanced champagne toast with a WWE legend who, in April, suggested that “maybe we don’t need a vaccine” at the very site of his former restaurant (Hogan’s Beach). WTR advertises “45,000 sq. feet of open air space” with most of the event being held outside, but DJs Puccio and Sherif will spin inside where masks and table service is required. Creative Loafing Tampa Bay reached out to
PR reps for WTR to see how Hillsborough’s new dancefloor restriction affects the show, and we’ll update this post online with any new information. And, yes, there will be fireworks. (WTR Pool & Grill at The Godfrey Hotel & Cabanas, Tampa) Disco Lemonade NYE parties If you’re an EDM fan looking for a NYE party, Ybor City has you covered. The Ritz—which makes ticket buyers sign a COVID-19 waiver to attend shows—has a sold-out gig from Canadian Adventure Club, and Tampa Bay promoter Disco Lemonade has two maskrequired shows happening on opposite ends of the district. The first finds hard-rockerturned Dirtybird favorite house producer Dipzy playing a set at the Attic (149 cap upstairs according to the Fire Marshal) and the other is a temperatures-taken Orpheum show headlined by saxophone-playing bass maniac Ehren Wright (aka SoDown). Tampa promoter FWD Thinkers told CL that it pulled out of the SoDown show when new Hillsborough County dancefloor restrictions were enacted two weeks ago, and CL reached out to Disco Lemonade to get an idea of how many tickets are being sold. Visit cltampa.com/music to see any updates. (The Attic at Rock Brothers and Orpheum, Ybor City)—Ray Roa
FRI 01
C Have Gun, Will Travel w/Will Quinlan Ella’s Americana Folk Art Café will be a choice location to nurse a hangover and toast to the end to the longest year ever when local icons Have Gun, Will Travel play an afternoon New Year’s Day show with Will Quinlan opening. The show is in anticipation of the band’s new album Raw Materials: Home Demos a collection of singer-guitarist Matt Burke’s, you guessed it, home demos. Self-described as “scrappy, lo-fi, indie-folk”, the first single “Mystery of Mine’’ is a way more chill, introspective sound than the all-together-now energetic Americana HGWT sound we are used to. Have no fear, there’s no doubt that the band’s distinctive nationally-recognized style will show up at its first show of 2021. The Seminole Heights food scene stvle will have its regular menu at this Friday gig (read, not Sunday Soulfood) but you can still get the classic Chicken and Waffle sandwich, in addition to some comfort hangover specials sure to ease the pain of New Year’s Eve and 2020 all together. Seating is limited, so your best bet is to reserve a table in advance. If you don’t feel like leaving your house quite yet, you can have the restaurant’s food and drinks delivered, then tune into a free livestream of the gig. (Ella’s Americana Folk Art Café, Tampa)
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Where the vinyl is: a list of Bay area record stores
The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) mid-2019 revenue report said streaming music accounted for 80% of total industry revenues, which rose 18% to $5.4 billion. Vinyl album revenue grew 13% to $224 million, but the RIAA also pointed out that sales of wax still only accounted for 4% of total revenues. Rough translation: Yeah, people are buying more records, but your local shop still needs you more than ever. If you’re reading this page, then you probably already know this, but you need your local shop, too. So many of the spaces listed to the right are so much more than stores. They’re community centers for ArtPool Records (2030 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-433-5195, artpoolrules.com Asylum Sights and Sounds (6566 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-384-1221 Bananas Records (2887 22nd Ave N., St. Petersburg) 727-327-4616 ext. 1, bananasrecords.com Bananas Records Warehouse (2226 16th Ave. N., St. Petersburg) 727 327-4616 ext. 2, bananasrecords.com Blue Moon Antiques, Books & Music (1413 Cleveland St., Clearwater) 727-443-7444 The Clearwater Record Shop (1610 N. Hercules Ave., Clearwater) 727-755-1201, clearwaterrecordshow.com
music lovers. Some of them are venues for local bands. The staff at most of these shops have more musical knowledge in their left ear than you’ll ever have in your entire life; they’re willing to share it with a smile on their face, too. Patronize these brick and mortars… frequently. Make friends with your neighbor behind the counter. Your wallet might be a little lighter, but your mind will be happy in return. You don’t have to stop streaming — let’s face it, no one will — but opening an app will never live up to the feeling of opening the door at your local record store. —Ray Roa
Daddy Kool Records (2430 Terminal Dr. S., Side B, St. Petersburg) 727-822-5665, daddykool.com
Kingfish Records (Main Store) (26024-B US Highway 19 N., Clearwater) 727-351-5177, kingfishrecords.com
Sound Exchange Tampa (14246 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa) 813-978-9316, soundexchangetampabay.com
Disc Exchange (6712 Central Ave., aSt. Petersburg) 727-343-5845, thediscexchange.com
Kingfish Records (Flea Market) (180 Race Track Rd., Tampa) 727-455-9923, kingfishrecords.com
Dunedin Records & Audio (757 Main St., Dunedin) 727-423-4108, dunedinrecords.com Dustin’s Vinyl Shop (180 Race Track Rd., Booth F25 W, Oldsmar) 727-678-6829, facebook.com/pg/dustinsvinylshop
Microgroove (906 N. Florida Ave., Tampa) 813-667-7089, microgroovetampa.co
Sound Exchange Pinellas Park (66th Street N and 86th Avenue N., Pinellas Park) 727-545-0042, soundexchangetampabay.com
Green Shift Music & Comics (5713 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa) 813-238-4177, greenshiftmusicandcomics.com
Patrick’s Book and Record Store (15215 US Hwy.19 C, Hudson) 727-868-3168, patricksbooksandre.wixsite.com/patricks
Hello Darlin’ Records (Roving VW Camper) 727-479-6783, hellodarlinrecords.com
Planet Retro Records (226 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. St. N., St. Petersburg) 727-218-7434, planetretrorecords.com
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Mojo Books & Records (2540 E. Fowler Ave., Tampa) 813-971-9717, mojotampa.com
St. Pete Records (6648 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-490-8861, stpeterecords.com Steelworker Records (708 W. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., Tampa) 813-666-4933, steelworkerrecords.com Unique Music & Collectables (123 Main St., Dunedin) 727-240-0757 Vintage Vinyl (38874 U.S. 19 N., Tarpon Springs) 727-940-8301, vintagevinyl.biz
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Quit your job By Caroline DeBruhl
Dear Oracle, I recently started a small business selling my art. I love what it has brought so far, and I’m excited to see what it brings in the future. My goal is to quit working entirely and focus solely on my art while traveling in my van. I’m curious to know how things will pan out. Will it take off, or will it die down? Is this the right choice for me? —Art Nomad Quit: Four of Pentacles reversed, Two of Wands, Page of Wands. / Don’t quit: Seven of Wands, Tower reversed, Queen of Swords. Nomad, I am writing this answer to you a full two hours into The Age of Aquarius, a new astrological period that is all about intellectualism, humanitarianism, striving for justice, and embracing spirituality. It’s also The Great Conjunction, which is a time for significant ideal shifts and massive overhauls of order, particularly governmental (it’s an ominous conjunction for U.S. Presidents), but it’s also a social overhaul. Plenty of astrologers predict this as a new century for the arts since we’re getting into an Air sign. It looks like art will become deeply valued in a way it hasn’t been for the past 200 years. But you asked for tarot, not astrology, so I’ll tell you what these cards say. When I was preparing the deck for these two questions, the Two of
Cups and Ace of Pentacles both fell out. There is a sense of wanted to be “in love with your work” for both of these questions. For you, it’s a new career. I’ve answered a question like this before, and I’ll give you the same Mama Witch speil: make sure you got health insurance you can afford, make sure you’re able to meet your needs before making the jump. It’s going to be a bloody and barbarous winter. Now, the good news: I think you will be goddamn miserable if you don’t quit. Seven of Wands is feeling lost; The Tower reversed is the big shake-up gone static—which will blow like a pressure cooker—and then capping it off with Queen of Swords, the hypercritical mother. This can be you, your actual mother, or any feminine-energy person telling you that you’re not good enough. But what happens if you quit? You’re going to be able to purge some stored up shit (Four of Pentacles) from your psyche and build something new (Two of Wands and Page of Wands). A support system, both professionally and emotionally, will be necessary for you during this transition. Talk to every artist you know. Get involved with communities if you can. To get through the messy emotions and hardships that come with this transition, you’ll need some structure to keep you upright.
ORACLE OF YBOR
There’s an old adage that says, “Nobody pays you to write your first novel,” and I imagine that applies across the disciplines. You have to pay yourself to write your first opera or to paint your first series. If this is how you can do it, by falling in love with your art and traveling around in your van, then I think it’s worth a shot. I think with the astrological clock ticking away and these cards, there’s something positive to gain from this experience. Again, just make sure you have access to medicine and COVID19 testing. But if you do, sally forth! Dear Oracle, I have had a successful professional career for almost 40 years. I am considering retiring in 2021 even though business is still good and financially sound. But, I have lost my passion and find myself “going through the motions.” Is this a good career move? (Money is not the issue.)—Professional No More? Situation now: Four of Cups, King of Pentacles, The Lovers / Retirement: Knight of Cups, Judgment, Two of Wands, The World Dear Prof, like the question before, the two cards that fell out when I was preparing the deck were the Two of Cups (beginning of love) and Ace of Pentacles (ideas of money.) Those feelings sort of haunt these readings. Right now, we have Four of Cups—boredom of the relationship—and the lovers, which is a great passion. I think you’re right in saying that you’ve lost your spark. While people may not consider work to be a loving relationship, our
relationship with our careers can be as fulfilling or as draining as a romantic relationship. With the King of Pentacles, it looks like you’re the master of your trade. You’re making money, you’re consulted, and you have power. But it’s not a fulfilling relationship anymore. So what does it look like if you retire? A very positive new life. We have two major arcana in this spread: Judgment and The World. Judgment came out with the knight of cups—a warrior of love— which is fortuitous. Judgment is a resurrection card. It’s reincarnation and returning to “home” which can be a physical location or a true self. With this retirement, your spark of life and that spark of love in yourself will return. You’ll be reborn with that love that’s disappeared from your career. We have two of wands again, which is starting a new project, beginning to work. What have you wanted to try your hand at but haven’t been able to because of your work? What can you do with all this new time? The final card in the spread is The World. It’s the last card of the Major Arcana, and in it are symbols of the natural world and the feminine psyche. It is life as a work of art. It is an incredibly positive card, meaning the end of a journey and this cosmic level of joy and spiritual connection that will be unveiled. If money is not an issue and you are feeling it, go ahead and retire in 2021. Don’t spend any more time in an “unsatisfying relationship” with your career when you have so many new things on the horizon.
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Lesbian drama By Dan Savage
One of my very close friends, a lesbian, has been married for a couple of years now. It’s been nothing but drama since the day they met. My friend had a terrible home life growing up and doesn’t understand stability. She also has zero self-confidence. My friend and her wife are constantly calling the cops on each other, getting restraining orders, and then always breaking them and getting back together. I told her that if she likes this drama, that’s one thing. It’s another if my friend got dragged into it and doesn’t want to live this way! But she cannot seem to quit their relationship. My friend tells me, “Lesbian relationships are drama,” and says I don’t get it because I’m “so damn straight.” Two questions: Are all lesbian relationships drama? And can you explain the whole “price of admission” thing again? It might help to open my friend’s eyes to how unacceptable this shit is. She says she wants out but she also wants to be loved and doesn’t think it would be any better with someone else.—Don’t Really Accept Melodramatic Actions
SAVAGE LOVE
If that lesbian friend of yours isn’t willing to listen to you because you’re straight, DRAMA, she’s not going to listen to my gay ass. So I shared your email with three lesbian friends of mine—think of them of a three-member circuit court of lesbian appeals—in the hopes that your lesbian would listen to their asses. “Are lesbian relationships drama?” asked Tracey “Peaches” Cataldo, the executive director of the HUMP! Film Festival. “No. Maybe lesbian relationships are high intensity. The shared experience of being gay, being women, communicating too much about everything—I mean, the U-Haul jokes resonate for a reason. However big feelings and big commitments don’t mean big drama. In my own experience lesbian drama involves disagreeing about how many coats of paint are needed on a bathroom wall or one person wanting to fuck when the other wants to watch ‘The Crown.’ It’s not normal for lesbian relationship ‘drama’ to require 911 calls and it’s definitely not OK for said drama to look like a cycle of violence or result in trauma. Don’t confuse drama for passion.” “I’m not sure lesbian relationships are any more drama than any other relationships,” said Katie Herzog, freelance dog ball journalist (really) and cohost of the “Blocked and Reported” podcast, “but considering the surprisingly high rates of intimate partner violence in lesbian relationships, they might actually be. Still, just because some lesbian relationships are drama doesn’t mean that all lesbian relationships are drama. Personally, I was involved in my fair share of soap operas as a young dyke, including once dating a woman who said she was possessed by a demon.
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an amazing woman since April. In typical lesbian fashion, she moved in over the summer and we’ve been inseparable ever since. My problem is that my sister and her nine-year-old son have been living in my home for the last four years. She has a ton of drama with her ex—her son’s father—and just this past week my girlfriend had her first interaction with the Department of Children and Family Services because of their drama. I’m used to it at this point, but it freaked my girlfriend out. When I purchased my home, I invited my sister to move in to help her get on her feet. It also meant I could try for a closer relationship to my nephew. She was going to finish her nursing degree so she could support herself and her son. Four years later, she’s still an LPN and still living in my home with her bad attitude and so much drama. Last night, she had a huge argument with my girlfriend while I was at work—I’m an ICU nurse and I work overnight—and she told my GF that I don’t spend enough time with her or her son since we started dating and she’s sad because she has no help, no friends, no blah blah blah. I need to cut the cord! I want a family and kids of my own and I’m planning to propose in the next few months. I love my sister, I do, and for years I’ve been there to help pick up the pieces from her shitty choices, but now is my time to prioritize myself and my happiness. How do I make her see that without making her feel like I’m abandoning her and her son?—Worried And Perplexed JOE NEWTON
(She was, the demon was coke.) But as an adult, the biggest drama in my relationship is “The Undoing” on Sunday nights on HBO. Either way, DRAMA’s friend’s relationship sounds unhealthy, and that’s not a lesbian thing.” “Drama is saying your ex looked cute the last time you saw them on your current’s birthday,” said Cameron Esposito, the comedian and host of the podcast “Queery.” “Lesbian drama is saying that while watching ‘The L Word: Generation Q.’ Seems more like DRAMA’s pal may be in a cycle of abuse—using the clues of police, restraining orders, and a feeling that one cannot do better. From my own experience, abuse isn’t something a friend can stop and DRAMA’s best option here may be to suggest a support group—perhaps offer to attend with her—and then lovingly detach from fixing this. Not because DRAMA doesn’t care but because we cannot control the lives of the ones we love.” Thank you for your service, lesbians, I’ll take it from here. Okay, DRAMA, I’ll explain the “price of admission” concept: You see, there are always gonna be things about someone that get on your nerves and/or certain needs a romantic partner cannot meet—sexual or emotional—but if they’re worth it, if that person has other qualities or strengths that compensate for their inability to, say, fill the dishwasher correctly or their disinterest in butt stuff, then clearing up after dinner or going without anal is the price of admission you have to pay to be with that person. And those are reasonable prices to pay. But putting up with abuse—physical or emotional—isn’t a price that anyone should pay to be in a relationship. And the price of admission doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships, DRAMA. So if putting up with this drama isn’t a price you’re willing to pay to be friends with this woman, you can refuse to pay it—meaning, you have every right to end this friendship if drama is all you’re getting out of it. Ending the friendship might actually help your lesbian friend. People who confuse drama for passion often get off on having an audience, DRAMA, and always being available for a friend
like that—always making yourself available for their drama—can have the opposite of its intended effect. So by dropping everything and rushing your friend’s side every time the shit hits the fan could be creating a perverse incentive for your friend to stay in this shitty relationship. In cases like this, DRAMA, detaching—like Cameron suggested—isn’t just the right thing to do for yourself but the right thing to do for your friend as well. Because once she sees there’s no audience she might decide to end the show. Follow @KittyPurrzog on Twitter and read her dog ball journalism at moosenuggets.substack. com. Follow @CameronEsposito on Twitter. You can’t follow Tracey “Peaches” Cataldo on Twitter—because she isn’t on Twitter—but you can make and submit a film for HUMP by visiting humpfilmfest.com/submit. Esposito is hosting an online party on December 31 at 6 p.m. PST)—”Cameron Esposito’s New
Year’s Steve”—with special sets, guests, and an early ball drop! It’s free but donations are welcome. For more info and tickets to Cameron’s show, head over dynastytypewriter.com. I’m a 35-year-old gay cisgender woman in New Jersey. I’ve been in a wonderful relationship with
Even if there was some way to ask your sister to move out that didn’t make her feel like you were abandoning her and her son, WAP, she would still do everything in her power to make you feel like you were abandoning them. She knows that if she can make you feel bad enough, and if she can sow enough discord between you and your girlfriend, she won’t have to get her own place or stand on her own two feet. So brace yourself for a lot of drama, WAP, and be unambiguous and firm: set a reasonable date for her to find her own place, offer whatever financial help you reasonably can, and make sure your nephew has your number. It sounds like he’s going to need someplace safe to run away to in a year or two—or in a month or two—and here’s hoping your girlfriend has it in her heart to be there for him the way you have. Contact mail@savagelove.net, follow @ FakeDanSavage on Twitter and bookmark savagelovecast.com.
creative loafing puzzler 64 TOULOUSE-LY TRANSLATED 66 by Merl Reagle 67 ACROSS 1 Panel that condemned the 72 Hollywood Ten: 73 abbr. 74 5 “___ Nightingale” 75 8 Henry VIII’s hopes 12 Frat party need 77 16 Father of twins, en français? 18 Major opening? 81 19 Big sleeps 20 “The western novel is here to stay,” 83 en français? 85 22 Intro to saurus 86 23 ___ carte 88 24 Lab run No. 2 25 Christmas without Ebenezer, 92 en français? 94 27 Narcissist’s obsession 96 29 “The jaw-bone of an 97 ___” (Judges 15:16) 30 Boy toy 98 32 Country club purchases 103 33 Giant author’s first 104 name 105 35 Golfer’s goal, 106 en français? 41 Country singer 107 George 111 44 Prohibit 45 Earth prefix 46 Horn sound 116 47 Inspect a police 118 department, 119 en français? 120 50 Kama ___ 54 Black stuff 55 Kimono money 56 Focused 124 58 Auto race 125 that’s rigged, 126 en français? 60 Has din-din 127 63 Stimpy’s pal 1
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Mickey’s channel, 128 129 in TV listings 130 Melville opus Slice of cake that a dieter doesn’t eat, 1 en français? H.S. hurdle 2 PC’s memory 3 Not long. 4 Occupies a 5 beanbag 6 Root through 7 one’s purse, en français? 8 Early Christian edict, the ___ 9 Creed 10 Affirmative Palindromic actress 11 Mèrida mister Opposed to part-time help, en 12 13 français? 14 Offer (a hand) 15 Part of a South 16 American capital 17 Cpl., for one Infamous Judean governor Boeing 747, en français? 19 Fell 21 Matty of baseball 22 Green veggie Peace org. based 26 in Ethiopia 28 Without Played the lead in 31 “Oh, Sigmund!”, en français? 34 Type of dress 35 Expire 36 Astronomy Muse 37 “This team’s 38 tackling ability 39 stinks,” en 40 français? 41 Recipient Light tan 42 Frankenstein, 43 en français? Hit with a rolled-up 44 48 paper
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LICENSED PROFESSIONAL PROFESSIONAL Built in 2010 by interior designer ALICENSED Warm Lotion Therapuetic Massage. P/T COMM P/T COMM ONLY ONLY MULTIMULTI GENRE GENRE Paul Lewis. 3,517 sq ft, 3 BR, 4 BA, Therapuetic Massage. Built in 2010 by interior designer Once is not enough. www.chansonsnow.biz www.chansonsnow.biz by interior designer 2Built CG in w/2010 workshop/storage, Once is not enough. Lewis. 3,517 sq ft , 3 BR,Dock 4 BA SERIOUS SERIOUS ONLYONLY 727-455-7139 727-455-7139 Paul Paulw/ Lewis. sq+ft Pergola! , 3 BR, 4 BA lake3,517 access A TRULY A TRULY 2 CG, + workshop/storage, Dock chansonsnow3@gmail.com chansonsnow3@gmail.com YR+SLATE ROOF, 10’ ceilings. 250CG, workshop/storage, Dock Lic# MA33860 w/ lake access, + pergola! 50 YR Lic# MA33860 IMMACULATE IMMACULATE WALNUT BRAZILIAN STAR w/ lakeCABINETRY, access, + pergola! 50 YR 10’ ceilings. WALNUT BEACHROOF, GRANITE, CABINET FACED Licensed Licensed Massage Massage & Spas & SpasSLATE LUTZ LUTZ ESTATE ESTATE Real Estate For Sale SLATE ROOF, 10’ ceilings. WALNUT SUB-ZERO fridge/freezer. Enjoy theLIVING CABINETRY, BRAZILIAN STAR BEACH LOCATED LOCATED IN SANCTUARY IN SANCTUARY AT BEACH LIVING AT CABINETRY, BRAZILIAN STAR LAKE LIFECABINET on your FACED deck, overlooking SUB-ZERO GRANITE, STON!CABINET STON! 4 CG &4An CG ABUNDANCE & AnSUB-ZERO ABUNDANCE of of RELAXATION RELAXATION MASSAGE MASSAGE FACED GRANITE, SERENE CYPRESS trees & FRENCH fridge/freezer, Enjoy the LAKE LAKE LIFE to advertise advertise by by phone phone 813-739-4800 813-739-4800 windows. windows. Ornate formal formal rooms rooms w/ w/ to From From Deep Deep TissueTissue to Lighter to Lighter Pressure. Pressure.INSPIRED fridge/freezer, EnjoyOrnate the landscape. Located LIFE in the on your pergola, overlooking TRAVERTINE TRAVERTINE & CROWN &overlooking CROWN MOLDING. MOLDING. by by email email dlancaster@cltampa.com acarbone@cltampa.com onhighly your deck, deck, pergola, coveted STEINBRENNER Call for Callspecials. for specials. 727-744-0254 727-744-0254 SERENE CYPRESS trees FRENCH FR w/ FR stone w/ FP, stone LUXURIOUS FP,Offered LUXURIOUS KITCH SCHOOL DISTRICT. at KITCH SERENE CYPRESS trees && FRENCH EN, GRANITE EN,landscape. GRANITE COUNTERS, COUNTERS, CUSTOM INSPIRED Located inCUSTOM $1,495,000. INSPIRED landscape. Located in CABINETRY, CABINETRY, PENDENT PENDENT LIGHTING, LIGHTING, the highly coveted STEINBRENNER the highlyLaRocca coveted STEINBRENNER John REALTOR® butler’s butler’s pantry, pantry, wine cellar, wine cellar, &atGAS& GAS SCHOOL DISTRICT. offered SCHOOL DISTRICT. offered at A TRULY John@MyHomeTB.com COOK TOP. COOK OFFICE, TOP. OFFICE, MasterMaster BR FP,BR FP, $1,495,000. $1,495,000. IMMACULATE 813.990.748 pool access, pool access, & custom & custom walk inwalk in EROTIC PHONE CHAT closet.. closet.. Master Master BA w/DOUBLE BA w/DOUBLE SINKSSINKS ADULT/Models LUTZ ESTATE REAL Fun Singles! huge your SHOWER huge SHOWER & TUB.&AllTUB. BR’sAllw/ BR’sorw/ Have Thanksgiving LOCATED IN SANCTUARY AT LIVING 800-SEXY-GAL Christmas moments large walk large inwalk closets. in closets. LARGE LARGE MEDIAMEDIA STON! 4 CG & An ABUNDANCE of MASSAGE MASSAGE BY BUTCH BY BUTCH captured inw/ by ROOMROOM w/ bar &your PATIO, bar &home PATIO, POOL &POOL SPA.an & SPA. windows. Ornate formal rooms w/ 800-7399425 @ THE @RELAXATION THE RELAXATION STATION STATION award-winning OfferedOffered at $1,290,000 at $1,290,000 TRAVERTINE & CROWN MOLDING. Strong Strong Hands Hands with a Gentle with a Touch Gentle Touch professional FR w/ stone19FP,years LUXURIOUS KITCH 19 experience years experience HARDCORE photographer. J EN, GRANITE COUNTERS, IN CALL IN/CALL OUT CALL /CUSTOM OUT CALL ADULT TALK. J LaRocca REALTOR® LIMITED John CABINETRY, 8amPENDENT till8am 10pm tillLIGHTING, 710pm days7 days BOOKINGS, Busty John@MyHomeTB.com butler’sBabes, pantry, wine Ebony cellar, & GAS 817.228.2990 817.228.2990 SO 813.990.7488 DON’T COOK Cash/Credit TOP.or OFFICE, Master BR Accepted FP, Hotties Older Cash/Credit Cards Accepted Cards WAIT! pool access, &MM#6181 walk in MM#6181 Ladies - Ur custom Choice closet.. Master BA w/DOUBLE SINKS ADULT/Models Starting at $400 866-515-3699 huge SHOWER & TUB. All BR’s w/ large walk in closets. ONLY $10 PerLARGE CallMEDIA ROOM w/ bar & PATIO, POOL & SPA. Offered at $1,290,000 METROSEXUAL
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