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Creative Loafing Tampa — December 17, 2020

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CREATIVE LOAFING • CLTAMPA.COM DEC. 17-23, 2020 • VOL 33, NO.49


LIVE MUSIC 7-10PM Fri DEC 18th - KIMI TORTUGA Sat DEC 19TH - COREY RUBIN HAPPY HOUR / EVERY DAY / 11AM-6PM MASKS MUST BE WORN IN THE RESTAURANT PER PINELLAS COUNTY MANDATE

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PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf FOOD CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge

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STPETEPD/TWITTER

CONTRIBUTORS John Allman, Josh Bean, Jeffrey C. Billman, Christopher Cann, Gabe Echazabal, Thomas Hallock, Thomas Holton, Alexandria Jones, Dara Kam, Joe Newton, Stephanie Powers, Jenna Rimensnyder, Cory Robinson, Dan Savage, McKenna Schueler, Hillary Van Dyke INTERNS Nora O’Neill

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PHOTOGRAPHERS Dave Decker

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CHIEF OPERATING OFFICERS Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VPTampa OF DIGITAL SERVICES Stacy Volhein Music: Bay Blues Fest ........................... 40 DIGITAL OPERATIONS COORDINATOR Music Week ................................................... 42 Jaime Monzon Music: review: Tampa Bay Fest ........................... Concert ArticBlues Monkeys ..........................40 42

Music ................................................... 42 The ListWeek .......................................................... 46 euclidmediagroup.com

Concert review: Artic Monkeys .......................... 42 cltampa.com Movie reviews ..................................................... 63 TheWill ListAstrology .......................................................... cldeals.com Free .........................................46 64

Free Will Astrology......................................... 64 Savage Love ...................................................... 69

EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Puzzler ........................................................... 66 Tampa a weekly newspaper covering Savage Loveis ...................................................... 69 public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum. They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Creative Loafing Tampa is published by Tampa Weekly, LLC, 204 E. Henderson Ave. Tampa, FL 33602. The newspaper is available free of charge at locations throughout Tampa Bay and online at cltampa.com. Copyright 2020, Tampa Weekly, LLC.

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The title was inspired by a book Black folks used during the Jim Crow-era.

Tampa Bay Black business directory has quadrupled in size since launch, p. 29.

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St. Petersburg Police Department finally unveiled its new body camera program, p. 10.

/food NYE parties, seriously /music No Christmas songs /news What’d DeSantis say now? /arts Sportsball updates photos.cltampa.com Suburban restaurants of 2020


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LOCAL NEWS POLITICS ISSUES OPINION

Help is here

After delay, St. Pete police’s social worker response team could start as early as February. By McKenna Schueler the city, year-round. This would be a step up from the original plan to have the program’s operating hours between 6 a.m.-2 a.m. The new crisis response program—which will be paid for using federal grant funding for the St. Pete Police Department—was initially expected to begin by Oct. 1. Back in September, activists who’d been pushing for a reduced police budget shared concerns with CL when it appeared the department wasn’t on track with its original timeline. And it wasn’t. McGee added that the project has “evolved since its conception,” noting that some information—such as the original timeline, presumably—from initial news releases is no longer relevant. According to the committee, the CAL program will be rolled out in phases early next year. The first phase will feature an embedded

“The embedded phase is the beginning of a multi-phase implementation to ultimately transition to an independent response for eligible nonviolent and noncriminal calls,” McGee told CL. “The duration of the embedded phase is based on various factors including the mutual agreement of Gulf Coast and SPPD.” St. Petersburg is also looking to expand the types of services offered through the program. According to McGee, licensed mental health workers within the CAL division will be making proactive contacts with the highest utilizers of the emergency services to provide wraparound services and follow-up. This may serve to address any unmet needs of community members as they relate to their use of emergency crisis services. “We have an excellent opportunity to evolve and grow this program to best meet the needs of St. Pete,” McGee added. St. Pete City Council is expected to formally approve the committee’s pick in January. If approved, Gulf Coast told the committee they’d be ready to roll out the program within four weeks of approval, and are open to hosting community forums to answer questions from community members.

STPETEPD/TWITTER

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s the new year approaches, St. Petersburg residents now have more answers about how a new Community Assistance Liaison (CAL) program is shaping up. In July, the city of St. Petersburg and the St. Pete Police Department (SPPD) announced plans to develop the CAL program—which would operate as a division within the city police department—to respond to nonviolent emergency calls within city limits. The CAL program, which resembles similar programs across the country, will have licensed mental health workers respond to nonviolent 911 calls, including calls concerning mental health, suicide crises, truancy, drug overdoses, homeless populations, and neighborhood disputes. According to the SPPD, officers responded to about 12,700 nonviolent calls in 2019. The July announcement from both Mayor Kriseman and St. Pete Police Chief Anthony Holloway came during a season of Black Lives Matter protests and calls to defund the city’s police department. After months of waiting for concrete developments to St. Pete’s new CAL program, a committee of St. Pete first responders and city leaders met last Thursday, Dec. 3, to share their recommendation for which organization should operate the new program. Their pick: Gulf Coast Jewish Family and Community Services, a nonreligious agency based in Tampa Bay that provides a range of community welfare and health services. According to WMNF, Chrysalis Health was also considered in the selection process to operate the new program. However, Gulf Coast’s concrete plan to handle these calls and their timeline offered greater appeal to the committee. “Gulf Coast presented a very detailed implementation plan and call response framework,” Megan McGree, the SPPD’s Special Projects Manager told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay in an emailed statement. “Gulf Coast has a long history in Tampa Bay, has significant experience with providing direct services to people out in the community, and has an extensive continuum of care that creates many opportunities for moving individuals out of crisis into longer-term help.” Gulf Coast told the committee that it would have the capacity to provide 24-hour service for

approach where social workers will co-respond to eligible nonviolent calls with police. This differs from programs like CAHOOTS, a mobile crisis intervention program in Oregon which sends teams of crisis workers and medics to respond to nonviolent 911 calls. “I am concerned about the initial rollout, including the presence of officers,” Richie Floyd, an organizer with the Pinellas Democratic Socialists of America (DSA) and a 2021 candidate for St. Pete City Council, told CL. “Officers have the power to arrest, jail, and even kill at times, and their presence can evoke a negative emotional response. And that could spell disaster for someone undergoing a crisis. A situation escalating out of control possibly due to the presence of a police officer during this initial phase could be damaging to the future of the program.” Floyd noted, however, that he was glad to see that the city had made progress on the program’s rollout. “I’m pleased to see the program move forward, and I expect the city to eventually get to the program they have promised.” McGee, who is serving as project manager for the CAL contract, has stressed that the embedded approach isn’t permanent.

‘CAL’ ME: SPPD SPPD’s new Community Assistance Liaison (CAL) program is shaping up.

cltampa.com | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | 9


Wait, now seen

It took six years, but St. Pete officers will finally wear body cameras. By Thomas Holton

I

t’s been years in the making, but the St. Petersburg Police Department finally unveiled its new body camera program Dec. 10, which will outfit all 386 department officers with recording equipment. The department purchased its system through security company Axon, and it will cost SPPD $6.75 million over the next five years. The system includes 575 body cameras, 360 fleet cameras, related hardware, and unlimited storage for recordings. Axon won the bid over six other companies due to its commitment to getting all officers outfitted by the end of 2020, according to WUSF. The first officers outfitted with body cameras were on duty Dec. 11, but training for all officers will take four to six weeks to complete. In-car cameras are expected to be installed in patrol cars by 2021. The body cameras will automatically begin recording whenever a gun or taser is unholstered, with a 30-second pre-roll. Officers will be required to manually activate their cameras in the following circumstances: • Traffic stops • Pedestrian stops • Crimes in progress • Vehicle pursuits

• Suspicious person/vehicle contacts • Arrests • Vehicle searches • Anytime currency/valuables are handles • Physical or verbal confrontations • Domestic violence calls • DUI investigations • Foots pursuits • Advising an individual of their Miranda warnings • Use of Force • During building clearances Any situation or incident that the officer, through training and experience, believes should be recorded. Police Chief Tony Holloway initially supported the idea of body cameras back in September 2014, but substantive action didn’t take place until the St. Petersburg City Council unanimously approved departmental body cameras after a summer of racial unrest. Meanwhile, Tampa Police are still in the process of purchasing body cameras. The Tampa City Council approved the purchase of 650 bluetooth cameras in June, refinancing three existing bonds to pay for them. However, the move toward body cameras was delayed due to lost tax revenue from the pandemic.

LOCAL NEWS

STPETEPD/TWITTER

WATCH, MEN: Officers get training on the Axon Body 3 camera.

10 | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | cltampa.com


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It’s lit

Cultured Books launches literacy-minded web series. By Ray Roa and Alexandria Jones

I

t can be hard to find something wholesome, educational and actually entertaining for your kids, but a group of community-minded St. Petersburg residents wants to help with that. So if you need more ways to connect with some educational resources, tune into a new literacybased, “Reading Rainbow”-style show made by Lorielle J. Hollaway, founder of Cultured Books, and for the youth of St. Petersburg. Produced by Tamia Iman and directed by Moji Wilson, the “Read About It.” pilot finds hosts—Cultured Books booksellers Nadia and Ava—exploring Black representation in art by connecting with local role model Ya La’Ford and MFA St. Pete curator Katherine Pill as they interview international artists like Nick Davis and move through Derrick Adams’ recent MFA exhibit “Buoyant.” ‘Buoyant’ ran from Sept. 19-Nov. 29 at the MFA, and it found the New York-based artist using wood block print and collage to shows joys of the Black experience. La’Ford is a tireless muralist and community advocate whose work is peppered across the Sunshine City, and Davis is another St. Pete artist who’s worn his struggles with epilepsy, anxiety and depression on his sleeve all while using his digital art to convey the simple message that “Black Is Beautiful.” Lasy week, Hollaway told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that an air-date for the pilot is to be determined, but the Factory in St. Petersburg is set to host a private screening on Jan. 9. In the meantime, learn more via @readaboutitseries on Instagram, and watch the trailer via cltampa.com/magazine.

Black N Tampa seeks tutors for local elementary school students Local online magazine Black N Tampa recently announced the start of its tutoring program for students at predominantly Black elementary schools in Hillsborough County—and it needs a little help. “Hey! Black N Tampa is starting a tutoring program for predominantly black schools for the grades K-5 and we NEED tutors,” the group wrote in an Instagram post. The one-hour tutoring sessions will be on Zoom and will cover subjects including math, reading, science, and history. There is training for tutors whether they have experience or not, and anyone from high school students or older can volunteer. Black N Tampa owner Charlea Bing told CL that minority students aren’t afforded as many opportunities or as engaged as other students in Tampa and Hillsborough County, so she wanted to change that. Her goal is to make sure Black students have the tools to be successful academically. “In the education field, mostly predominantly Black schools are the ones with the low letter grades. I feel like we have to give our black students a chance and that comes with the responsibility of mentoring and tutoring them at a young age,” she added. At the moment, the schools officially confirmed for tutoring are: Kenly Elementary, Robles Elementary, Sheehy Elementary. Tutoring begins next month when the new semester starts. Volunteers can find a link to sign up via cltampa. com/magazine.

LOCAL NEWS

CULTURED BOOKS/VIMEO

READ ABOUT IT: Nick Davis (L) with Cultured Books booksellers Nadia and Ava.

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Let us do the cooking this year! (

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SAVE FACE: Facebook paid $1 billion for Instagram in 2012 and $19 billion for WhatsApp in 2014.

Unfriendly request

Florida joins 45 other states in lawsuit to split up Facebook. By Dara Kam/News Service of Florida

F

lorida Attorney General Ashley Moody joined 45 other states on Dec. 9 in a lawsuit against Facebook, accusing the social media giant of exploiting its dominance in the digital marketplace and engaging in anti-competitive practices. The states’ lawsuit, accompanied by a legal complaint filed by the Federal Trade Commission, focuses on Facebook’s allegedly “illegal buy-or-bury strategy that thwarts competition and harms both users and advertisers.” The twin lawsuits came as Facebook and founder Mark Zuckerberg, who launched the social-media platform in 2004 as a way for university students to get and stay connected, face increased scrutiny and criticism from President Donald Trump’s administration and Congress. The states’ lawsuit, also joined by Guam and the District of Columbia, focuses in part on Facebook’s acquisitions of message-sharing app WhatsApp and photo-sharing app Instagram, transactions the lawsuit alleges were predatory because the apps “each posed a unique and dire threat to Facebook’s monopoly” in the socialnetworking sphere.

In addition to buying potential competitors, the lawsuit alleges Facebook employed an “open firstclosed later” approach to developers to help grow Facebook’s user base through third-party services. Facebook’s strategies have resulted in “degraded quality of users’ experiences, less choice in personal social networks, suppressed innovation, and reduced investment in potentially competing services,” the 76-page lawsuit said. “Facebook’s conduct deprives users of product improvements and, as a result, users have suffered, and continued to suffer, reductions in the quality and variety of privacy options and content available to them,” the complaint alleged The lawsuit, filed in U.S. district court in the District of Columbia, asks that Facebook be prohibited from making further acquisitions valued at or in excess of $10 million without advance notice to the plaintiff states and that a judge deem Facebook’s acquisitions of WhatsApp and Instagram as violations of federal antitrust laws. In a prepared statement outlining the lawsuit, Moody chided Facebook “for its unlawful, anticompetitive business practices” and called

FLORIDA NEWS

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on the court to end the social media giant’s “monopoly control.” “One of the greatest benefits to owning a business in the United States is having the ability to operate and innovate in a free and fair marketplace,” Moody said in a prepared statement. “The stifling of competition and predatory actions of Facebook are inexcusable, and as a result, its users, innovation and competition have all suffered.” But Facebook called the states’ allegations “revisionist history” and vowed to fight both legal challenges. “Antitrust laws exist to protect consumers and promote innovation, not to punish successful businesses. Instagram and WhatsApp became the incredible products they are today because Facebook invested billions of dollars, and years of innovation and expertise, to develop new features and better experiences for the millions who enjoy those products,” Facebook Vice President and General Counsel Jennifer Newstead said in a prepared statement. Facebook paid $1 billion for Instagram in 2012 and $19 billion for WhatsApp in 2014. Newstead pointed out that the federal commission cleared both acquisitions. “The government now wants a do-over, sending a chilling warning to American business that no sale is ever final. People and small businesses don’t choose to use Facebook’s free services and advertising because they have to, they use them

because our apps and services deliver the most value. We are going to vigorously defend people’s ability to continue making that choice,” she added. According to the states’ lawsuit, more than half of the U.S. population over age 13 uses Facebook, which makes money through advertising. The lawsuit accuses Facebook of harming advertisers in a number of ways, “including less transparency to assess the value they receive from advertisements, and harm to their brand due to offensive content on Facebook services.” Zuckerberg and other Facebook executives have come under fire for how the company handled advertising and misinformation during the 2020 election cycle. “Facebook’s monopoly gives it significant control over how users engage with their closest connections and what content users see when they do,” the lawsuit said. “Because Facebook users have nowhere else to go for this important service, the company is able to make decisions about how and whether to display content on the platform and can use the personal information it collects from users solely to further its business interests, free from competitive constraints, even where those choices conflict with the interests and preferences of Facebook users.” Only Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina and South Dakota did not join the lawsuit, which was filed after a lengthy antitrust investigation that included participation by Moody’s office.


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The Worst People of 2020 Part 1: Seditionists and authoritarians. By Jeffrey C. Billman

W

e’re riding up hard on the ass end of this shit year, which can mean only one thing: listicle season—that glorious time when columnists the world ’round pre-write retrospectives for the final weeks of December and spend the holidays on the sofa chugging whiskey. Since 2020 has been a parade of horribles, I figured it fitting to cap it off with a list of the year’s worst people. Okay, technically, the worst Americans, as I’ve excluded the rest of the world. (Apologies to Narendra Modi.) I’ve also ignored the Trumps—Donald, Bloodshot Eyes Don, the Dumb One, Javanka, the Daughter Donald Forgets He Has, Soon-to-Be-Donald’s-Ex, the whole batch—because what’s the point? I’ve divided our baddies into four groups, as follows: Seditionists The conspiracy theorists, sore losers, and D-league fascists trying to overturn Joe Biden’s victory. Authoritarians Those who weakened the rule of law and used violence to quell anti-racist dissent. Deniers People whose ignorance, selfishness, political calculations, or science denial made the COVID-19 pandemic worse than it had to be. Cowards, crooks, enablers, and shitheads Every list needs a catchall. So, without further ado, here’s part one: seditionists and authoritarians. Group 1. Seditionists Rudy Giuliani Rudy’s had a tough couple of months: farting out loud in a public hearing, that Four Seasons Total Landscaping press conference, the weird hair dye (or maybe mascara?) incident, trying to get it on with Borat’s pretend-daughter, etc. And that’s to say nothing of getting repeatedly humiliated in court, losing lawsuits, and watching his conspiracy theories get debunked. (Honorable mention goes to Sidney Powell, who filed the quickly dismissed “Kraken” lawsuits, and Melissa Corone, Giuliani’s viral “star” witness in Michigan.) Sen. Ron Johnson First, the Wisconsin senator used his chairmanship of the homeland security committee to try to retroactively justify the Ukrainian coercion that led to Trump’s impeachment. Now, like so many others, he’s publicly undermining Biden’s legitimacy. Here’s what separates Johnson from the rest: In private, he admits that he knows better. But thinks it would be “political suicide” to oppose Trump— an “asshole”—and that matters more. U.S. Rep. Mike Kelly After Trump lost Pennsylvania, Kelly sued, arguing that a law Pennsylvania Republicans passed a year ago to extend mail-in voting was unconstitutional, which meant the state Supreme Court needed to throw

out all mail-in ballots and declare Trump the state’s winner. Shockingly, this argument didn’t take. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton Joined by 18 red-state attorneys general and the 106-member congressional treason caucus, Paxton—who is staring down a federal corruption investigation and could use a pardon—filed

Democratic votes are inherently illegitimate. Chris Ruddy Ruddy owns Newsmax, an increasingly popular cable outlet dedicated to fulfilling MAGA America’s fantasies. (It’s also home to former Bay area anchor Rob Finnerty.) This is an unabashedly Trumpian universe in which election fraud is an unquestionable fact and Fox News—whose audience Newsmax is stealing—is the establishment. The best part: Ruddy probably doesn’t believe any of it. He’s nothing but a cynic proudly profiting

INFORMED DISSENT

SOFT AND DANGEROUS: Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton is a likely 2024 presidential candidate what amounts to Trump’s last stand: a petition to the Supreme Court to overturn election results in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Georgia. Paxton doesn’t make a legal argument so much as thread together fact errors, debunked conspiracies, constitutional contortions, and an astoundingly stupid mathematical “analysis” into a request that the Court decide

guilty plea. Barr overrode prosecutors on Roger Stone’s sentence. He fearmongered about voting by mail. He opened an investigation into the FBI’s investigation of Russian election interference. His department sought to block Congress from enforcing White House subpoenas. He tried to have the DOJ defend Trump in a lawsuit accusing him of defamation for denying a rape allegation; had the DOJ won, the case would have been dismissed. But his most egregious offense this year: Amid Black Lives Matter protests, Barr personally ordered law enforcement to attack peaceful protesters in Lafayette Square to make way for Trump’s photo-op in front of a church. Detroit Police Chief James Craig, NYPD Commissioner Dermot F. Shea Any of the police chiefs who unleashed their headstomping cops on BLM protesters would do (in Tampa, protesters got pepper spray, while Bock the Blub painters got props). But Craig bears special mention because, after protesters sued Detroit when officers collapsed their lungs, fractured their bones, and gave them concussions, his department sued Detroit Will Breathe for “conspiracy.” Shea is list-worthy because his cops planned an assault on protesters in the Black and Latino neighborhood of Mott Haven, which Shea said was “executed nearly flawlessly.” Sen. Tom Cotton In June, the Arkansas senator penned a New York Times op-ed— immediately disavowed by almost everyone at the Times—advocating that Trump use the military to quash protests. “Cadres of left-wing radicals like antifa,” he claimed, needed to be crushed by an “overwhelming show of force.” Cotton is a likely 2024 presidential candidate. DHS “acting secretary” Chad Wolf For the last year, Wolf has served as acting secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, though a federal judge has ruled he was illegally installed, hampering his efforts to deport Dreamers and block asylum seekers’ access to employment. That didn’t stop him and other DHS officials from allegedly cooking reports on Russian election interference, the border wall, and antifa. Speaking of antifa: In response to Tucker Carlson’s demand that the Trump administration make mass arrests and bring RICO charges, Wolf—who had deployed paramilitary agents in unmarked vans to kidnap protesters—went on Carlson’s program and assured him they were working on it. Barr was “targeting and investigating the heads of ” [BLM and antifa] and those “paying for those individuals to move across the country.” That wasn’t a real thing, and the RICO charges never came. Get more Informed Dissent delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe today at billman.substack.com.

off the gullible while undermining what’s left of American democracy. (Honorable mention: Herring Networks, which owns One America News, and the far-right Sinclair Broadcasting). Group 2. Authoritarians Attorney General William Barr Barr’s DOJ dropped charges against Mike Flynn despite his

cltampa.com | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | 17


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Shit Happened WEDNESDAY 09 MONDAY 14

THURSDAY 10

The water pipe that burst at Tampa’s David L. Tippin Water Treatment Facility finally got repaired on Dec. 9, but the boil notice was lifted on Thursday, meaning your stinky friends had absolutely no excuse to not shower anymore.

GAGE SKIDMORE

On the same day he signs the FedEx delivery of Pfizer COVID-19 vaccines arriving at Tampa General Hospital, Gov. Ron DeSantis, a Dunedin native, cites a Wall Street Journal op-ed and suggests that getting one dose may be enough. Science literally says you need two. DeSantis went to Yale and Harvard, so we’re assuming that he’s just playing dumb or just morally corupt. Professional grifter Roger Stone appears at Largo’s Republican safe space, Conservative Grounds coffee shop, but there’s no word on whether baristas there will be collecting all the right-winger tears shed while they all chant “Stop the Steal” together.

ADOBE

Pasco County officials abruptly pull the permit for Florida’s first snow park, Snowcat Ridge, but give it back before the weekend. After looking at the inspection photos—including power strips in puddles—it’s not surprising that the folks who thought to build a snow park in Florida weren’t the best planners.

MARK NOZELL/CC-BY-2.0

STATE OF FLORIDA

Florida Attorney General Ashley Moody files a brief supporting lawsuit seeking to invalidate election results. That lawsuit, naturally, failed, and Moody, a Tampa-native, is just one of two local Trump acolytes to make their hometown look dumb this week.

More shit, but with holiday spirit, via cltampa.com/news.

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RESTAURANTS RECIPES DINING GUIDES

Very nice

Here’s what’s new, coming and happening in the Tampa Bay food scene. By Jenna Rimensnyder

T

ampa Bay restaurateurs are sneaking in last minute treats for 2020 along with a handful of teases for what’s to come in 2021. This week we welcome a new smoothie shop to Tampa and a specialty grilled cheese joint in St. Pete. On the horizon is a taste of a vegan milkshake trailer, tropical eats, and a reimagined way to dine outdoors. If you’re looking for something to do in the meantime, you can snag last minute holiday gifts during CL’s 12 Days of Deals, or chowdown at this weekend’s chili pop-up. Just be sure to bring the antacid.

bites. Every fourth Sunday of the month, diners can get in on brunch service accompanied by live music. The specialty store will be stocked with Mango’s merch like shirts, sources, and aprons. 9718 N. 56th St., Temple Terrace. mangocateringservice.com/cafe Nice Cream Shake Bar The Valentin sisters, Cait and Chelsea, are launching a vegan milkshake trailer in 2021. The Nice Cream Shake Bar has plans to attend food truck rallies and markets as well as cater private parties like baby showers and weddings. The decadent shakes are topped with doughnuts, cookies and whatever vegan-friendly, imaginative bites come to mind. nicecreambar.com Two Graces Next month, Two Graces is switching up the Tampa Bay dining game by offering covered outdoor pergola seating within the former Reading Room space. Equipped with misters and heaters, these babies are prime for dining all year round. The full-service restaurant also has indoor and lounge seating. Expect pastas and wood fire pies on the menu alongside a selection of brews, wine and cocktails. 6001 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. gracestpete.com VIP Mexican American Restaurant The second location of the casual full-service restaurant is making its debut March 2021 on Indian Rocks Beach. Taking over the former Aqua Prime Seafood & Steaks Restaurant space, expect the menu to mirror the OG Treasure Island location with items like burritos, tacos, tamales and chimichangas. 213 Gulf Blvd., Indian Rocks Beach. viplounge-fla.com

OPENINGS & CLOSINGS

Openings Robeks Making its debut Sat., Dec. 19, the healthy shake shop serves farm fresh juices, smoothies, acai bowls and wellness shots. The franchise location is family-owned and operated, with plans to host a grand opening celebration in January. 1211 E. Kennedy Blvd., Tampa. robeks.com The Lure Ono The fast-casual concept in the old Central Melt space offers specialty grilled cheese sandwiches as well as a handful of other eats like beer-battered mozzarella fried cheese, battered whiskey onion rings and pork potstickers. There’s also a selection of smoothies, milkshakes, brews and wine for all occasions. 685 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. @thelureono on Facebook. Coming soon Knoouk Market & Provisions Alésia Restaurant is launching Knoouk Market & Provisions (stylized “KNOOUK”) early 2021. Located within the restaurant, the Knoouk display will be loaded with wines, coffees, teas, honeycomb, gift cards, T-shirts and other goods for purchase. Whether you’re swinging by to grab an item as a gift or want to do a little shopping after your meal, Knoouk will soon be ready to ring you up. alesiarestaurant.com— Alexandria Jones Mangos Café and Specialty Store Shouldn’t be long before Mango’s make its debut. A spawn of Mango’s Catering Service, the forthcoming restaurant will offer Caribbean, Haitian, and soul food menu items alongside a lineup of café

ICYMI Creative Loafing’s 12 Days of Deals The CL event features half-off certificates to Tampa Bay restaurants. A new Deal exclusive to CL Deals will be featured on cldeals.com each weekday through Dec. 24. A portion of proceeds benefit The Laundry Project by Current Initiatives. cldeals.com Buddy’s Pizza Buddy’s original Detroit-style pizza is now available for delivery. The creators of the beloved Detroit pie have launched a new partnership with online marketplace Goldbelly that will ship anywhere in the U.S. You can

ROOTED IN COMPASSION: Nice Cream owners, sisters, Chelsea (L) and Cait Valentin. order Buddy’s frozen classic eight-square pizzas in three- or six-packs. goldbelly.com/buddyspizza—Biba Adams Cincinatti-ish Chili Pop-Up Former Steelbach chef Nathan Hardin linked up with Pickford Counter’s Benjamin Pomales and Adrianna Siller for the chili-focused pop-up.

The pop-up will offer nearly extinct Skyline Chili-style eats including coneys, all the ways, nachos, burgers and oyster crackers. Expect lots of cheese and well as vegan versions of each menu item. 3 p.m.-6 p.m. Sun., Dec. 20. Pickford’s Counter 2606 W. Hillsborough Ave., Tampa. @nathanlhardin on Instagram

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DAVE DECKER

Recently Reviewed: Takeout in Tampa Bay

In the 2,117 months since coronavirus upended the Bay area food scene, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay’s Jon Palmer Claridge—the Bay area’s longest-running food critic—switched gears, stayed home and went to reviewing local takeout options. Until it’s 100% safe to be shoulder-to-shoulder with each other in restaurants, I don’t see CL moving away from takeout reviews and back to restaurant ratings. In the meantime, enjoy the last five takeout reviews from JPC. If you think there’s an outof-this-world takeout experience he needs to try, please shoot me an email at comments@ cltampa.com. Oh, wear a mask and wash your hands, too. —Ray Roa Avo’s Kitchen at Iberian Rooster Each dish we try is full of flavor and well-balanced. There’s lots of variety inside the broader world of curry spice. I’m seduced by “Prawn Stars” yummy bread bowl, which catches all the juices; the moist curried shrimp are just scrumptious surrounded by cauliflower rice and chickpeas topped with tart and crunchy rings of colorful pickled red onions, which add a lovely pink accent. The loaf is surrounded by mixed greens. I can’t resist tearing the empty bowl into pieces to enjoy the amalgam of flavors. The meal is definitely worth it—another triumph of experiencing world cuisine without the 9,000 mile journey. $3-$16. 475 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-258-8753; avoskitchen. com Taqueria Margarita Elia Maldonado proudly shares Abuela’s recipes homemade with the freshest ingredients, which instantly recall the pure flavors and aromas of food stalls in the Mercado de Coyoacán (abuela comes from México, Mexico). The array is mostly a familiar list: asada (beef), pollo (chicken), el pastor (marinaded pork), carnitas (pulled pork), campechano (meat combo), and chorizo (spicy sausage). On some days, there’s decadent and juicy quesabirria served traditionally, as a twice-cooked taco, or Instagram-ready as a tortilla “pizza” with the carne spread between

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two browned tortillas—and, yes, with a drool worthy consommé for dipping. $2.25-$11. 4001 W. Dr. Martin Luter King Jr. Blvd., Tampa. 813466-2484; @taqueriamargaritatpa on Instagram and Facebook Bodega on Central Perfectly designed to thrive in the face of the challenges facing the industry, Cubans and pork sandwiches are favorites, and the chicken version is a flavor explosion with contrasting textures, as well. The flattened breast meat is balanced with smooth avocado and mango against crunchy jicama and fiery pickled chilies with some mango mayo. It’s a memorable mouthful for fans of spice. $0.50-$9. 1120 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-623-0942; eatatbodega.com Bon Appétit There’s no denying the drop dead gorgeous views from Bon Appétit out over Saint Joseph Sound. The lobster bisque has a de rigueur hit of sherry. It’s dotted with meaty bits in a flavorful stock that’s on the less creamy side; tasty, if not sigh-inducing. A homemade Key lime pie that’s sweet-tart and creamy. $4.95-$85.95. 148 Marina Plaza, Dunedin. 727-733-2151; bonappetitrestaurant. com Parkshore Grill Executive Chef Tyson Grant’s team has put a lot of thought into what works best to be transported is their handsome recycled brown cardboard boxes. The juicy Parkshore burger sits on a toasted brioche bun and is smothered in a seductive mix of sweet caramelized onions, crisp bacon, and tangy blue cheese. A large meaty piece of roasted organic Scottish salmon has plenty of flavor even without the yummy shallot-tarragon butter and the bright green jumbo asparagus are delightfully al dente. So often, this veggie ends up mushy and unpalatable even in restaurants, so this is a welcome takeout surprise. $2.50-$72 Beach Dr. NE No. 104, St. Petersburg. 727-896-9463. parkshoregrill.com


In the wake of concerns about the novel coronavirus, it’s best to call or visit the websites of these breweries to check on their offerings. 3 DAUGHTERS BREWING One of the Warehouse Arts District’s most popular hangouts, and a beautiful facility in which to drink some great brews. 222 22nd St. S., St. Petersburg. 727-495-6002, 3dbrewing.com 3 KEYS BREWING South-of-the-Skyway restaurant and brewery specializing in small batches. 2505 Manatee Ave. E., Bradenton. 951-218-0396, 3keysbrewing.com 7VENTH SUN BREWING Some of the best sours, IPAs and collabs going. Two locations. 1012 Broadway, Dunedin. 727-733-3013/6809 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa. 813-231-5900, 7venthsun.com 81BAY BREWING CO. South Tampa’s first craft brewery boasts a wide variety of styles. 4465 W. Gandy Blvd., Tampa. 813-837-BREW, 81baybrewco.com ANGRY CHAIR Crazy-good Tampa beer, open Tuesday-Sunday. 6401 N. Florida Ave., Seminole Heights. 813-238-1122, angrychairbrewing.com ANTIBREWERY Dunedin’s secret Sundays-only nano. 1367 Martin Luther King Jr. Ave., Dunedin

brewery. There’s also a taproom at Amalie Arena. 3924 W. Spruce St., Tampa. 813-348-6363, cigarcitybrewing.com CLEARWATER BREWING CO. Community-oriented and socially and environmentally conscious. 1700 N. Fort Harrison Ave., Clearwater. clearwaterbrewingcompany.com COPPERTAIL BREWING CO. Some of Tampa’s best beer, in one of its best tasting rooms. 2601 E. 2nd Ave., Tampa. 813-247-1500, coppertailbrewing.com COTEE RIVER BREWING Craft beer in the heart of historic downtown New Port Richey. 5760 Main St., New Port Richey. 727-807-6806, coteeriverbrewing.com CRAFT LIFE BREWING Small-batch local brews and a sort of playground or LoL’s craft brewing guild. 4624 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., Land O’ Lakes. 813-575-8440. facebook.com/CraftLifeBrewing CROOKED THUMB BREWERY Safety Harbor’s first brewery boasts homegrown flavor and local guest taps. 555 10th Ave. S., Safety Harbor. 727-724-5953, crookedthumbbrew.com

HOB BREWING CO. Rotating taps; some of the beers are brewed on-site and alongside a combination of local breweries plus local and international craft beer makers. 931 Huntley Ave., Dunedin. hob.beer IF I BREWED THE WORLD This self-described “mixtape of breweries” offers a bit of everything from the classic to the fun and outrageous. 2200 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-201-4484, ifibrewedtheworld. com IN THE LOOP BREWING Family-friendly Land O’ Lakes brewery with a lot of community support and plenty of events. 3338 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., Land O’ Lakes. 813-997-9189, intheloopbrewingcompany.com INFUSION BREWING CO. Another great location in the good-beer-packed Trinity/New Port Richey area. 7813 Mitchell Blvd. Ste 103, Trinity. 727-312-4512. INOCULUM ALE WORKS These folks are crazy for sours, and know how to craft ‘em. 554 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. inoculumaleworks.com JDUB’S BREWING COMPANY You know ‘em, you love ‘em. A favorite statewide phenomenon. 1215 Mango Ave., Sarasota. 941-955-2739, jdubsbrewing.com

brewing its own in early 2018. 2244 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-360-0766, stpetearcadebar.com ROCK BROTHERS BREWING Brews named for national and local bands have a home in Ybor City. 1901 N. 15th St., Ybor City. 813-241-0110, rockbrothersbrewing.com SARASOTA BREWING COMPANY House-crafted brews, pizza, and sports out toward beautiful Siesta Key. 6607 Gateway Ave., Sarasota. 941-925-2337, sarasotabrewing.com SILVERKING BREWING CO. This space in Tarpon Springs complements a label that’s been around since 2012. 325 East Lemon St., Tarpon Springs. 727-4227598, silverkingbrewing.com SIX TEN BREWING A wide variety and a real passion for the craft-brew community. 7052 Benjamin Rd., Tampa. 813-886-0610, sixtenbrewing.com SOGGY BOTTOM BREWING More Dunedin goodness, including some truly original flavors and inventive brews. 660 Main St., Dunedin. 727-601-1698, soggybottombrewing.com

AVID BREWING This Grand Central brewing supply shop added a taproom for its beers crafted in-house. 1745 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-388-6756, avidbrew.com

CUENI BREWING CO. Located off the Pinellas Trail in Dunedin. 945 Huntley Ave., Dunedin. 727-266-4102, cuenibrewing.com

LAGERHAUS BREWERY & GRILL A Palm Harbor bar and eatery that offers seasonal brews to complement their regulars. 3438 East Lake Business, Palm Harbor. 727-216-9682, lagerhausbrewery.com

SOUTHERN BREWING & WINEMAKING Multiple brews only available in its tasting room, as well as products and guidance for local homebrewers. 4500 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa. 813-238-7800, southernbrewingwinemaking.com

CYCLE BREWING One of St. Pete’s favorites. 534 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-320-7954. cyclebrewing.com

LATE START BREWING This beloved Tampa label does its thing inside the Pour House. 1208 E. Kennedy Blvd. #112, Tampa. 813-402-2923, latestartbrewing.com

ST. PETE BREWING COMPANY Beers crafted specifically for the climate. 544 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-692-8809, stpetebrewingcompany.com

BARRIEHAUS BEER CO. Lager-specific brewery, carrying on an over 150 year brewing legacy. 1403 E 5th Ave., Ybor City. barriehaus.com

DARWIN BREWING CO. Unique beers crafted with South American influence. 803 17th Ave. W., Bradenton. 941-747-1970, darwinbrewingco.com

BAY CANNON BEER CO. West Tampa's first craft brewery, offering a variety of ever evolving beers, beer slushies and wine that pair perfectly with appetizers and entrées from the kitchen. 813-442-5615, baycannon.com

DE BINE BREWING CO. This addition bolsters the Northern Pinellas craft beer scene. 933 Florida Ave., Palm Harbor. 727-233-7964.

LEAVEN BREWING Riverview’s first brewery is run by folks who’ve got experience brewing big and small. 11238 Boyette Rd., Riverview. 813-677-7023, leavenbrewing.com

STILT HOUSE BREWERY This friendly Palm Harbor joint specializes in high-ABV ales and other styles you won’t find at other breweries in the area. 625 US Hwy Alt. 19, Palm Harbor. 727-270-7373, stilthousebrewery.com

MAD BEACH CRAFT BREWING Brews, ciders, and meads by the beach. 12945 Village Boulevard, Madeira Beach. 727-362-0008, madbeachbrewing.com

SWAN BREWING Nearly 4 decades of combined brewing experience go into the offerings at this petfriendly joint. 115 W. Pine St., Lakeland. 863-703-0472, swanbrewing.com

MARKER 48 Hernando’s first production craft brewery, with its own tasting room and beer garden 12147 Cortez Blvd, Weeki Wachee. 352-606-2509, marker48.com

TBBC Formerly Tampa Bay Brewing Co., local favorite for nearly two decades. 1600 E. 8th Ave., Ybor City/13933 Monroe’s Business Park, Westchase. 813247-1422, tbbc.beer

ARKANE ALEWORKS A wide variety of styles and flavors from the second brewery to open in Largo. 2480 E. Bay Dr., #23, Largo. 727-270-7117, arkanebeer.com

BIG STORM BREWING CO. Stop by this Pasco brewery’s Storm Room for a flight, or visit their taproom on 49th Street in Clearwater, too. 2330 Success Dr., Odessa. 727-807-7998, bigstormbrewery.com BIG TOP BREWING Perhaps Sarasota’s premier purveyor of locally crafted beer, Big Top’s reputation has spread far beyond the region. 6111 Porter Way, Sarasota. 941-371-2939, bigtopbrewing.com BOOTLEGGERS BREWING CO. This Brandon taproom from Bootleggers Beer & Wine Home Brewing Supplies offers house-made suds and guest beers. 652 Oakfield Dr., Brandon. 813-643-9463, bootleggersbrewco.com BRASSERIE ST. SOMEWHERE Award-winning Belgian farmhouse ales from veteran Bay area brewer Bob Sylvester. 1441 Savannah Ave., Tarpon Springs. 813-503-6181, saintsomewherebrewing.com BREW BUS BREWING BB brews its own suds, boasts 20 taps and offers food at its Eatery, too. 4101 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-990-7310, brewbususa.com BREW HUB Some of the area’s best beers are produced here along with suds for their own label. 3900 Frontage Rd. S., Lakeland. 863-698-7600, brewhub.com

DISSENT BREWING CO. Unique flavors and adventurous style outside downtown St. Pete. 5518 Haines Rd. N., St. Petersburg. 727-342-0255.

BAY AREA BREWERIES

DUNEDIN BREWERY Florida’s oldest. Beer, eats and live music. 937 Douglas Ave., Dunedin. 727-736-0606, dunedinbrewery.com DUNEDIN HOUSE OF BEER This beer stop brews its own, and also has 40 guest taps. 927 Broadway, Dunedin. 727 216-6318, dunedinhob.com

ESCAPE BREWING CO. Another very worthy Odessa/Trinity destination. 9945 Trinity Blvd., Suite 108, Trinity. 727-807-6092, escapebrewingcompany.com FIVE BRANCHES Veteran-owned brewery, small batches from IPAs to stouts. Serving up brews and a clear view of the Tarpon Bayou. 531 Athens St., Tarpon Springs. fivebranchesbrewing.com FLYING BOAT BREWING COMPANY St. Pete aviation history and tasty homegrown suds. 1776 11th Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-800-2999, flyingboatbrewing.com

BREW LIFE BREWING Ultra-small batches, and a lot of ‘em. 5765 S. Beneva Rd., Sarasota. 941-952-3831, brewlifebrewing.com

FOUR STACKS BREWING An always-changing lineup of local and regional guest suds, along with trivia, live music and more. 5469 N. US HWY 41, Apollo Beach. 813-641-2036, fourstacksbrewing.com

BULLFROG CREEK BREWING CO. A multitude of styles from former garage brewers is on tap in Valrico. 3632 Lithia Pinecrest Rd., Valrico. 813-703-8835, bullfrogcreekbrewing.com

GREEN BENCH BREWING COMPANY A space worthy of the adventurous beers it produces. 1133 Baum Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-800-9836, greenbenchbrewing.com

CAGE BREWING Custom brews in the Grand Central District from one of the ‘Burg’s newest. 2001 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-201-4278

GOOD LIQUID BREWING CO. Thirty taps and food (and a coffee roaster!) from a husband-and-wife duo. 4824 14th St. W., Bradenton. 941-896-6381, thegoodliquidbrewing.co

CALEDONIA BREWING Great in-house beers in the historic Dunedin Times building. 587 Main St., Dunedin. 727-351-5105, caledoniabrewing.com CALUSA BREWING Family owned and operated, opened Tuesday to Sunday. 5701 Derek Ave., Sarasota. 941-922-8150, calusabrewing.com CARROLLWOOD BREWING CO. “Secret” brewing action inside the Carrollwood location of craft-bar chain The Brass Tap. 10047 N. Dale Mabry HWY, STE 23, Tampa. 813-969-2337 CIGAR CITY BREWING Tampa’s most famous craft

GRINDHAUS BREW LAB Small batches and no extracts. 1650 N. Hercules Ave., Clearwater. 727-2400804, grindhausbrewlab.com GULFPORT BREWERY + EATERY Small batches with an artisanal food menu. 3007 Beach Blvd., Tampa. facebook.com/GulfportBrewery HIDDEN SPRINGS ALE WORKS This Tampa Heights brewery features a rotating tap selection. 1631 N. Franklin St., Tampa, 813-226-2739, hiddenspringsaleworks.com

MASTRY’S BREWING CO. From CD Roma’s restaurant to sweet new digs on St. Pete Beach. 7701 Blind Pass Rd., St. Pete Beach. 727-202-8045 mastrysbrewingco.com MOTORWORKS BREWING A taproom and beer garden featuring full liquor and wine as well as 30 taps. 1014 9th Street West, Bradenton. 941-567-6218, motorworksbrewing.com MR. DUNDERBAK’S The longtime restaurant, biergarten and homebrewers’ hangout is serving up its own beers. 14929 Bruce B. Downs Blvd., Tampa. 813-9774104, dunderbaks.com NAUGHTY MONK BREWERY Naughty Monk brings a love of Belgian styles to Manatee County. 2507 Lakewood Ranch Blvd., Bradenton. 941-708-2966, naughtymonkbrewery.com OVERFLOW BREWING St. Pete’s newest, courtesy of local Rapp head brewer Troy Bledsoe and company. 770 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-914-0665, facebook.com/overflowbrewingco PEPPER BREWING The Angry Pepper Taphouse’s in-house label, available “on a limited basis.” 9366 Oakhurst Rd., Seminole. 727-596-5766, angrypeppertaphouse.com PESKY PELICAN BREW PUB This beachy restaurant also offers up its own beers thanks to an in-house nano system. 923 72nd. St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-3029600, peskypelicanbrewpub.com PINELLAS ALE WORKS PAW offers a dog-friendly environment in addition to tasty brews. 1962 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-235-0970, pawbeer.com RAPP BREWING COMPANY Greg Rapp’s awardwinning styles are carefully crafted and delicious. 10930 Endeavor Way, Seminole. 727-544-1752, rappbrewing.com RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER This video gamecentric Grand Central District craft beer bar started

TAMPA BEER WORKS At the former site of ESB Brewing, TBW focuses on American craft styles. 333 N. Falkenburg Rd., Suite D407 Tampa. 813-685-1909, tampabeerworks.com TIDAL BREWING COMPANY Small batches in Spring Hill. 14311 Spring Hill Dr., Spring Hill. 352-701-1602,tidalbrewingfl.com TWO FROGS BREWING COMPANY Tarpon Springs’ latest brewery and taproom focuses on American ale styles. 151 E. Tarpon Ave., Tarpon Springs. 727-940-6077, facebook.com/ twofrogsbrewing KEEL FARMS AGRARIAN ALE + CIDER Tasty brews from the folks behind Keel & Curley winery. 5210 W. Thonotosassa Rd., Plant City. 813-752-9100, keelandcurleywinery.com TWO LIONS WINERY & PALM HARBOR BREWERY Wine and beer brewed in-house. 1022 Georgia Ave., Palm Harbor. 727-786-8039, twolionswinery.com ULELE SPRING BREWERY Beer crafted in accordance with traditional Bavarian purity laws. 1810 N. Highland Ave., Tampa. 813-999-4952, ulele.com THE WILD ROVER BREWERY What started as an English pub in Odessa is now a higher-production facility in Westchase. 13921 Lynmar Blvd., Tampa. 813-4755995, thewildroverbrewery.com WOODWRIGHT BREWING COMPANY Traditional German styles in downtown Dunedin. 985 Douglas Ave., Dunedin. 727-238-8717, facebook.com/ woodwrightbrewing ZEPHYRHILLS BREWING COMPANY East Paco’s first microbrewery. 38530 5th Ave., Zephyrhills. 813715-2683, zbcbeer.com ZYDECO BREW WERKS Craft brews in Ybor thanks to an award-winning brewmaster, as well as full bars and NOLA-influenced cuisine. 1902 E. 7th Ave., Ybor City. 813-252-4541, facebook.com/Zydecobrewwerks

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*For every one adult entree purchased, one kids entree is free. 12 years of age or younger. Available from open-midnight.

Check your nearest location for store hours.

#KeepItChido www.Taco-Bus.com

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MOVIES THEATER ART CULTURE

Go green

A local Black business directory has quadrupled in size since launch. By Gabe Echazabal to do that. We wanted to increase the traffic of Black-owned businesses and help circulate the Black dollar in the Black community” Bean eagerly added. To date, since the idea went from a pipe dream on paper to a reality in the winter of 2019, the time and dedication the pair have put into the venture has paid off. Initially designed as a blog, the concept has blossomed and has taken on the configuration of an easy to navigate online directory that encourages users to contribute to its growth and success by self-listing their own businesses giving the project a real sense of community and collaboration. “It’s exciting seeing business owners finding each other and collaborating. A photographer might find a wedding planner who then finds an event planner and they might all plan an event together” Van Dyke added with an undeniable sense of pride in her voice. “That’s really, really awesome to see.” Early in its incarnation, Green Book of Tampa Bay boasted almost 200 individual business listings; that number has almost quadrupled as word has gotten out about this invaluable service. “We really wanted people to actually go to a website themselves, bookmark it and have the availability to look up stuff themselves,” Bean went on to say while explaining the ease and convenience involved in having this type of resource available in the community. “Users can add listings and then we approve them. The directory consists of businesses but we also have listings for nonprofits, African American artists, painters, photographers, musicians. We try to cover the entire gamut.” When the topic of the senseless death of George Floyd and other Black Americans came up, Van Dyke made her point very clear. “When it comes to ‘Black Lives Matter,’ we want that to be more of a lifestyle and not just a hashtag or a trend. His death made people realize that they kind of had to look out for one another.”

LOCAL BUSINESS

“We want ‘Black Lives Matter’ to be more of a lifestyle and not just a hashtag or a trend.”

JAKE-ANN JONES

W

hile it’s easy to sit back and complain about the injustices happening within the current tumultuous racial climate we’re living in, it takes a dedicated, concerned onlooker, or onlookers in this case, to take action and do something to right the wrongs they witness on a daily basis. In this case, Hillary Van Dyke and Josh Bean, two professionals who each serve full-time roles with Pinellas County Schools, decided to step up and do their part to shine a light on minority-owned businesses in the Tampa Bay area who’ve suffered greatly in light of shutdowns due to the COVID-19 pandemic. In particular, Van Dyke and Bean took the initiative to bring visibility to Black-owned businesses in an attempt to boost their visibility in the local marketplace. This pair of local activists put its collective efforts and ideas to work and came up with a venture called Green Book of Tampa Bay. The title was inspired by the Victor Hugo Green book that Black folks used as a tool during the Jim Crow-era south; folks who utilized that green book traveled cross-country and needed a resource for businesses and places of commerce that would openly welcome them without the threat of segregation or racism. Eating at a restaurant, staying at a motel or filling a car’s gas tank are all necessary when taking a road trip, but the prospect of not being afforded those services due the color of one’s skin was a reality in this country not so long ago. “In 2020, it’s more about continuing that support for Black-owned businesses” Van Dyke stated during a conversation with Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. While the possibility of being refused service is less likely to occur these days, it’s still a valid idea and informational service both she and Bean feel are incredibly valuable and worthwhile in present day America. “We just really wanted to find a way to invest in the community and we found a way

GREEN TEAM: (L-R) Josh Bean and Hillary Van Dyke. A true testament to the efforts both Van Dyke and Bean put into the venture is the time and dedication they both selflessly put into it. “Oh my God. It’s legit. It’s another job!” Van Dyke joked when describing the time she invests into the project outside of her 40-hour workweek. When asked what their hopes are in regard to the creation and the ongoing success of Green Book of Tampa Bay, both of its creators shared the same idea: “We’re just trying to expand and to have more businesses represented” they jointly expressed.

Taking this endeavor from the proposal stage to a real-life, thriving operation is due entirely to the dedication and work of both of these admirable, concerned citizens who made the choice to create a vehicle that would give local residents more educated options when spending their hard-earned dollars. “It takes a village to raise a child” according to an ancient African proverb. Hillary Van Dyke and Josh Bean are living proof that, sometimes, all it takes is two well-informed and enlightened citizens to bring about positive change in that same, local village.

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Who Green Book Tampa Bay curators tap for services. By Hillary Van Dyke and Josh Bean

I

n our attempt to focus on the root causes of inequality in the Tampa Bay area, we recognize the significance of economic vitality. We know, through looking at local and national data, that a variety of systemic barriers prohibit equitable access to homeownership, employment, educational attainment, transportation, healthcare, and more. Therefore, it is our mission to make it easier to help all people spend their money at Blackowned businesses. The saying that “When America gets a cold, Black people get the flu,” highlights how Black people are historically the most vulnerable to systemic failure. In being intentional in the way you choose to spend your money, you not only help these businesses—which are just a few of the roughly 2.5 million Black-owned businesses in the country, most of which are sole proprietorships and small businesses—but you uplift your entire community. While this is in no way a full list of Blackowned businesses in the Tampa Bay area, these are some of the companies we have covered over the last couple of years on our Instagram and Facebook. We’ve arranged them into categories, described one business in each category and listed the rest. Follow us @greenbooktb, or visit greenbooktampabay.org, to learn more.

Bridge in Tampa. Not only is Taylor a legendary Black business woman and a fascinating historical figure, but the tour is also led by thee Gloria Jean Royster, a local historian. tampabayhistorycenter. org/tampa-history-walking-tours African American Heritage Trail afamheritagestpete.org Best Richardson African Diaspora Literature & Culture Museum bradlcmuseum.com “Black Pioneers of the Sunshine City” Watch on YouTube via The Weekly Challenger News Central Ave Black History Walking Tour tampabayhistorycenter.org/ tampa-history-walking-tours Curtis Museum of Pinellas curtismuseum.org Dr. Carter Woodson African American Museum woodsonmuseum.org Perry Harvey Sr. Park tampagov.net

LOCAL BUSINESS

Who We Use Debonair Prints Specializes in graphic design and screen printing, and we just love the work they have done for us! Be sure to check out their Instagram (@debonairprints) to see their work. Oh, and visit the Merch tab on our website greenbooktb.org to order a Green Book t-shirt. debonairprints.com Astute Observations Astute did our logo astuteobs.com Creative Courtois This web development team did our website and logo work for our website development grant. creativecourtois.com The Deuces Live A community partner in St. Petersburg deuceslive.org One Community St. Pete Another community partner in St. Petersburg onecommunitystpete.com SpeedPro St. Petersburg SpeedPro did our business cards speedpro.com Staples Co This team played web developer for our website development grant. staplesco.com Black History Madame Fortune Taylor Walking Tour This historical walking tour starts at the Tampa Bay History Center and is centered on Madame Fortune Taylor, namesake of the Fortune Taylor

30 | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | cltampa.com

Arts & Entertainment Black Business Bus Tour The legendary Candy Lowe’s bus tour of Black-owned businesses is an absolute blast. Not only do you get to tour businesses, the event ends with a market of other Black-owned businesses. Follow @blackbusinessbustour on Insta to stay-up-date for when these exciting events start back up. blackbusinessbustourflorida.com The Afro Market Exchange @theafromarketexchange on Instagram Black Water Theatre @bw_theatre on Instagram Indie Noir Market indienoirmarket.com Indie Reece indiereece.com Nick Davis ndartlife.com Shadcore @shadcoreofficial on Instagram Singles Pop Up thesinglespopup.com Tampa Bay Collard Green Festival tampabaycollardgreenfestival.org Queen of Ex @queenofex on Instagram Zulu Painter zulupainter.com Food & Beverage Three Generations Food Truck Chef Melly’s soul food truck is addictive, seriously ridiculous, and the Instagram page (@threegenerationsfoodtruck) is a whole trap of yummy goodness! chefmellys.com Irv City beardofirv.com Brea’s Coffee breasmobilecafe.com Mr. B’s Soul Food Restaurant @eatatmrbs on Instagram Heavenly Treats heavenlytreats100.com Heavy’s Food Truck heavysfoodtruck.com J New & Moms Catering jnewmomscatering.com Lorene’s Fish & Crab House (727) 321-7297 PattyCakes pattyecakes.com

BBQ Grillin n Chillin I know you’re wondering why there is a food category, and a BBQ category, but honestly, BBQ had to be its own thing. And while we love so many of the BBQ spots we have tried out, there is something about having ribs while beachside that hits different. Check them out on Instagram (@grillin_n_chillin). grillinchillingstpete.com Al’s Finger Licking Good Bar-B-Que alsybor.com Atwater’s Best BBQ & Soul Food Atwater’s Best BBQ & Soul Food on Facebook Bubba’s Q Food Truck @bubbasqfoodtrucks on Instagram First Choice BBQ firstchoicebbq.com Jazzy B’s BBQ jazzysbbqtampafl.com

Rack City Ribz rackcityribz.com Red’s BBQ Food Truck @redsbbqfoodtruck on Instagram The Rib Shack Largo ribshackbbqlargo.com Saucin Wings @saucinwings on Instagram Trust Me BBQ @trustmebbq on Instagram Hair & Beauty Central Station Barbershop Central Station Barbershop founded the Barbershop Book Club. They provide fresh cuts and encourage students to read during their haircuts and while they wait. Through their creativity, this program has grown to other barbers throughout St. Pete! Definitely check out their social media feeds for some feel good content! @centralstationbarbershop1 on Insatagram Aesthetic by Vicki aestheticsbyvicki.com Annie’s Beauty Supply Store anniesbeautysupply.com

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READING IS E-CENTRAL: Central Station Barbershop Central Station gives kids books to read in the barber chair.


Services & Things Bark Bar Treats My dogs are obsessed with the dog treats from Bark Bar! Check out their Instagram (@barkbartreats) barkbartreats.com A.Tailor’d Picnics atailordpicnics.com America’s Most Reliable Movers amrmovers.com Event Heroes of Tampa Bay eventheroesoftampabay.com Garrett’s Lawn Care and Tree Service gplawncare.com Ge’odor Lux @GeodorLux on Instagram Groovy Puppy Tampa thegroovypuppytampa. com Kingdom Elite Services kingdomeliteservices. com Moore Eventful Event Hall mooreeventful.com Snappy Notary Solutions snappynotarysolutions.com Sonshine Detailing sonshinedetailing.com Vibrant Hues Events vibranthues.events Shopping 1Pier St Pete Stall The 1Pier Stall is an all-female collective of nine retailers selling handcrafted and uniquely sourced products at the St. Pete Pier. This project is possible through the work of One Community St Pete and is historymaking! 1pierstpete.com Afribera afribera.com

CREATIVE COMMONS

Blue Hibiscus Organics bluehibiscusorganics.com ck onCurlyCoilyTresses curlycoilytresses.com Custom Beauty Spa “Custom Beauty Spa” on om Booksy m Cyble’s Hair Care Salon 727-871-4393 m Eyelash Icon eyelashicon.as.me King Essential Beard Oil @kingsessentialbeardoil on Instagram ationQueen Steams Beauty & Spa queensteams.com Club.Seraye Wellness @serayewellness on Instagram dents wait.Media & Such rownThe Weekly Challenger Did you know there is nitelya Black-owned and operated newspaper that has e feelbeen in existence for over 50 years in the Tampa p1 onBay area? Visit the Weekly Challenger website to subscribe and stay in the know. theweeklychallenger.com ysup-“Agent X: The Movie” agentxthemovie.com All Tea, No Shade podcast soundcloud.com/ allteanoshade Altitude Collective podcast thealtitudecollective.com Always Truth Incorporated alwaystruthincorporated.com “Church Folks” TV series Available on Amazon Outdoorsy Diva podcast and blog outdoorsydiva.com Paige Tucker paigetucker.com Podcast Pedagogy podcastpedagogy.xyz The Power Broker Magazine powerbrokermagazine.com St. Petian stpetian.com

START YOUR ENGINES: Cover of ‘The Negro Motorist Green-Book’ (1940 ed.) by Victor Hugo Green. Accent Styles Boutique accent-styles.myshopify.com Body Butters by Design bodybuttersbydesign. com Candice’s Exotic Trends candicesexotictrends. com Cultured Books culturedbooks.org Gallerie909 @gallerie909 on Instagram Natural for a Reason gumroad.com/ naturalforareason PositiviTee shoppositivitee.com Pure with Love pure-with-love.square.site Seraye Wellness @serayewellness on Instagram Wellness & Medical Inspire Beyond Counseling Marco Bernard is a therapist who helps adults through trauma, but along with being a therapist, he is an author of the most intriguing audiobook “The Next Move: In Translation.” Check out his Instagram (@iam_ marcobernard) marcobernard.org 3 Gems Birth Services 3gemsbirthservices.com BodybyCord Fitness @bodybycordfitness on Facebook Body Rehab by B bodyrehabbyb.com/booking Ligon Dental Group ligondental.com Home Again Counseling homeagaincounseling.com Grind + Cycle grindandcycle.com Meeyogi Tribe meeyogi.com Pop Nutrition @popnutrition on Instagram Tampa Bay Afrofit tampabayafrofit.com The Well for Life thewellforlife.org

ORGANIZED BY THE HEARD MUSEUM, PHOENIX, ARIZONA MADE POSSIBLE BY TINNEY RUG CLEANERS, STATE OF FLORIDA DIVISION OF CULTURAL AFFAIRS AND THE FLORIDA COUNCIL ON ARTS AND CULTURE, WITH ADDITIONAL SUPPORT FROM BANK OF AMERICA AND THE GARTH FAMILY FOUNDATION. Venancio Francis Aragon, Navajo, b. 1985, Prism of Emotions, 2019, Heard Museum Collection, Gift of the Heard Museum Council

Disclaimer: Green Book of Tampa Bay does not assume responsibility for any product or service offered and is not in any way responsible for monitoring any transaction between you and third-party providers or services.

cltampa.com | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | 31


Learn traditional printmaking Workshops in - Etching - Lithography - Letterpress - Silkscreen and more. Our gallery space has local and handmade gifts for your holiday budget! Drop by during normal hours Tuesday thru Friday 11-4 Saturday 11-6 • Sunday 12-4

32 | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | cltampa.com


How to build a fire

When the Socratic method and sharing warmth collide. By Thomas Hallock longer than I would. The monkey fur goes on bottom. She then hooks smaller twigs over the pile, forming a kind of Quonset hut. Above that, more sticks. And finally, an interlocking ring of thick kindling around the base. We agreed that materials can vary. For starter, I usually shred the cardboard from an old pasta box, or maybe the carton of a Cigar City twelve-pack. (Another product endorsement!) The pages from last week’s Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, twisted into balled knots, also work. And my favorite camping trick is to grill with briquettes, eat dinner, then tinder the fire over the waiting coals. But structure is key. A good fire has three elements. Fuel, heat, and air. Some would add a fourth element, lighter fluid, though it’s hard to see the poetry there. After the core heats up and the outer pieces start to crackle, Nina makes a crucial shift, from teepee (or Quonset hut) to log cabin. Any blowing on the flames must be careful; set your nose right in there, as close as possible without singing your eyebrows, and pucker up, pushing a steady breath towards the bottom. And now, add wood. Concentrate the coals, stacking larger pieces like Lincoln Logs around the coals. Keep the kindling close at hand and organized by size. With larger pieces, add some smaller brush on top; that pulls the flames out to catch the heavier logs. Now one reaches a crucial point of the evening. The Lincoln Log structure will yield ample heat and flame, though it also tears through fuel. I am cheap and like to conserve my larder. So for our smaller party, Nina builds up, shaping the fire to a more economical pyramid. And to the final stage. With friends and family settled around any well-constructed fire, the flames will eventually die down. A campfire brings community, equity even, which means that some yahoo will take it upon himself to toss on unneeded wood. Inevitably, the carefully structured fire gets trashed. An unsplit log lands across the middle, and where there were flames five minutes earlier, now there is smoke. How one addresses this affront varies between individuals. Being passive, then quick to anger, I typically watch my work get destroyed, wait out the botched recovery, then grudgingly rebuild. Nina claims these mistakes as teachable moments, posing Socratic questions—”Where do you think the best spot for that log would have been?”

CITY WILDS

JULIE ARMSTRONG

A

few semesters back, I took a group of USF undergraduates to the Suwannee for an overnight paddle. We camped at one of the Water Management District’s shelters. It was chilly, though not unusually cold for north Florida. My students had shown up in t-shirts and flip flops. While in class I can barely pry them off their cell phones, though few had thought to check their devices for the forecast in Live Oak. They were freezing. Thankfully we had Nina Shand. I consider myself a skilled fire maker, but compared to Nina, I am a novice. Her uncle, from New Hampshire, schooled her in woodcraft as a young girl. For a while, Nina was working at Pathfinder, an outdoor ed program in south St. Pete, before Covid cut into their funding. Now she teaches middle school, though her heart is the woods, and she’s ready to get back to outdoor classrooms. The next months offer prime campfire weather, so my wife Julie and I asked Nina to drop by for a refresher course. A good fire starts with the wood. When Nina appeared at our back gate, I was splitting some pieces that I had purchased last July from a tree service. It does not matter where your firewood comes from, so long as you let it season. In the past I went to the dump with my kid. That worked fine. And my favorite wood was salvaged from our old garage, which we had to tear down because of leaning; those chunks of fat pine were saplings during the Seminole Wars. Even though my wood came quartered, I split the pieces further with my favorite axe—a nicely balanced Fiskars, with a synthetic handle and a blade sharper than sewing sheers. (Unpaid product endorsement.) I loaded up my wheelbarrow. Nina got to work. First she scoured the yard for twigs. Then she pulled from a palm some monkey fur (the filaments under the jacks) for starter. We briefly talked outdoor fireplaces. Mine was a Christmas present from my mother, who loves to shop. These things rust out every few years, which works fine for our family—when this one goes, I’ll ask my mom for a new one. You can dig your own fire place, I suppose, but the brick-lined-pit-in-the-ground rarely provides air circulation, and succeeds mostly in blowing smoke. I lobby for a safe, secure fireplace with a screen top. Nina prebuilds, with an almost architectural attention to detail, taking three times

“Surely there’s a lesson here.”

BURNING QUESTIONS: Nina Shand tending her creation. Such patience means that Nina is not only the better fire builder, but I guess ... the better person. We agree on one point, however. Winter in Florida is a glorious time. Any spare moment spent indoors misses the very point of living here. The next few months promise warm days, followed by cool nights. Few things pull us together around one place

like a well-made fire. We warm ourselves from the sunlight of lost and forgotten seasons. Surely there’s a lesson here. Thomas Hallock teaches English and Florida Studies at the University of South Florida in St. Petersburg. His book A Road Course in Early American Literature: Travel and Teaching from Atzlán to Amherst (www.roadcourse.us) comes out this February.

cltampa.com | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | 33


THERE’S SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT BASEBALL IN TAMPA BAY. It started with a little boy dreaming of playing baseball. This boy, AL LOPEZ, became Tampa’s first Major League player, manager, and Hall of Fame inductee. Now, his rehabilitated childhood home is getting ready to welcome fans to celebrate more than 130 years of local baseball heritage. Nearly 90 professional players from Tampa will be honored, along with the people and places that shaped them. Local baseball traditions will shine at the TAMPA BASEBALL MUSEUM at the AL LOPEZ HOUSE when it opens… and stand alongside some of the best baseball towns in the nation.

AL LOPEZ

STEP UP TO THE PLATE! Please join our efforts to ensure that Tampa Bay’s baseball memories play on to inspire future generations! With six new exhibits in the works, community support means everything to our game. Your donation today at www.TampaBaseballMuseum.org will help get us to home plate. All donations will be matched 100% by a Hillsborough County Historic Preservation Grant, doubling the value of your generous contribution.

Located in Historic Ybor City P.O. Box 5421 • Tampa, FL • 33605

813.247.1434 www.TampaBaseballMuseum.org

The Tampa Baseball Museum at the Al Lopez House is owned by the Ybor City Museum Society, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization Federal Tax ID No. 59-2274494.

34 | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | cltampa.com


‘Justice, justice’ for all

An Arthur Szyk exhibition leads a new round of A&E events. By Jenna Rimensnyder and Nora O’Neill

N

ext month, the Florida Holocaust Museum is set to debut its new exhibition “Justice, Justice, You Shall Pursue: the Art and Propaganda of Arthur Szyk.” The beauty of this new exhibit is that you can get a free virtual tour without leaving your couch. This means no crowds and no need for a mask while you get a dose of culture within the comfort of your own bubble. If that’s something you’d like to do, mark your calendar for Thursday, Jan. 14 at 6:30 p.m. to tune into Facebook Live via the FHM’s page (@TheFHM). Throughout the Facebook Live event, attendees will be among the first to experience the “Justice, Justice, You Shall Pursue” exhibition featuring illustrations, illuminated books, and other works from PolishJewish artist who created political cartoons and propaganda that took aim at Nazi Germany’s murderous policies. The exhibition focuses on his early artwork, created before World War II including the famous Passover Haggadah Szyk illustrated, plus illustrations and propaganda drawn and painted during World War II that ridiculed the Nazis. The exhibition also features works that speak out for social justice and tolerance in the United States as well as works praising American ideals of liberty and justice.

As an added bonus for tuning in, Szyk scholar Irvin Ungar—who’s curated and consulted for numerous Szyk exhibitions—will speak during the free event (he is also the author of “Arthur Szyk, Soldier in Art” and publisher of the limited edition of “The Szyk Haggadah”). If you can’t tune into the virtual exhibit, you can slide by for free admission during International Holocaust Remembrance Day on Jan. 27. Advanced timed tickets will still be required to visit the FHM on this day through thefhm.org. Beginning Jan. 2, the Florida Holocaust Museum will be open to the public on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays from 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Just a heads up, advanced timed tickets are required to help with social distancing through the museum’s website. The Florida Holocaust Museum is located at 55 5th St. S. in St. Petersburg.

A&E EVENTS

American Stage keeps busy American Stage in St. Petersburg is offering two ways to see its holiday show when “It’s a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play” kicks off Dec. 18. The first showings of the play, which run through Dec. 22, are live virtual performances. Kickoff night, Dec. 18, will even feature a live chatback. After that, from Dec. 23-27,

pre-recorded showings of the American holiday classic reimagined as a 1940s radio broadcast can be viewed within six hours of specific showtimes. Prices range from $30-$40, and tickets can be had online or over the phone. And if you can’t wait until then to get some American Stage into your life, screenings of the theater’s other December show—“Nosotros La Gente”—kicked off on Dec. 2, with replays happening Dec. 16-20. The show features Diana Garle and Daniel Llaca, a real-life couple that lives together, meaning they can interact intimately without endangering each other. It began its run on Dec. 2, and a pre-recorded version of the 85-minute-long show is available to watch at select showtimes throughout its run ending on Dec. 20. A chatback with the actors—both making their debut at American Stage—is set for Dec. 16. Tickets for individual pre-recorded performance streams of “Nosotros La Gente” are $15. For those who don’t have the time to see a show, but still want to help the places that make Tampa Bay so great, can support American Stage and its efforts amid the pandemic by donating. American Stage’s full calendar of events for the 2020-2021 season can be found here. And no, “It’s A Wonderful Life” is not communist propaganda.—Nora O’Neill

Gasparilla Distance Classic postponed until May You can officially procrastinate longer when it comes to training for Tampa’s Gasparilla Distance Classic. Last week, the races—which were scheduled for Feb. 19-21—got postponed until Mother’s Day Weekend, May 7-9, 2021. Sure, temperatures will be higher in May, but it means we’ll all hopefully be safer, so just run slower, maybe even walk—and definitely drink more water. Last month—as both the Gasparilla parade and film festival announced postponements— race officials were still clinging to their proposed COVID-19 mitigated race. That changed when last week’s positivity rates were released. Citing Hillsborough County’s 8.63% positivity rate (higher than the 5% the World Health Organization recommends before loosening restrictions), the race’s Executive Director, Susan C. Harmeling wrote that they “would never act in a manner that would place the runners, walkers, volunteers, staff, City of Tampa personnel or event sponsors in harm’s way.” All participants registered for any of the 2021 events are being given the option of running in-person in May or converting their registration to run virtually. Creative Loafing Tampa Bay emailed Harmeling to see if any refunds would be available—we’ll update you if we hear back.—Ray Roa

THE ARTHUR SZYK SOCIETY (CC)

HATE PARADE: ‘Satan Leads the Ball’ (1942), New York by Arthur Szyk

cltampa.com | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | 35


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Stream, merrily

Brandon Cronenberg’s latest leads a new batch of the best movies to stream at home. By John Allman

O

n Sunday, the latest state data showed Florida’s positivity rate for new cases was 7.89%—it’s ranged from 7.37% to 9.25% in the past two weeks. The Bay area also added 1,543 coronavirus cases and 84 deaths on Sunday. What’s more that is Sunday’s positivity rates in Hillsborough (8.1%) and Pinellas (7.4%) were well above the World Health Organization’s reccomendation of 5% or lower. So far, about 37% of Florida’s population has been tested, and as the Tampa Bay Times pointed out, with 1,125,931 known cases in the state, roughly one in 18 Floridians has become infected with the virus. That’s all to say that no one will bat an eye if you decide to stay away from people and watch these scary films instead.

Girl with No Mouth 3.5 star(s), 97 minutes, streaming The third film from Turkish director Can Evrenol, “Girl with No Mouth,” is a marked deviation from his previous work, “Baskin” and “Housewife,” but his distinct style and penchant for shocking bursts of violence remains intact. If not for that violence, “Girl with No Mouth” is the kind of fantasy fairy tale that would seem custom-designed to educate children about the right qualities to imbue—acceptance, loyalty and belief in oneself. Set years after an incident at The Corporation, the surviving residents of a small-town grapple with debilitating birth defects that have left all children impaired. Perihan (Elif Sevinç) was born without a mouth, and she covers the harsh scar tissue where her lips should be with a scarf. When her father is killed by her uncle, who works for The Corporation, Perihan escapes and finds refuge with three other children, Kaptain (Denizhan Akbaba), Yusuf (Özgür Civelek) and Porsuk (Kaan Alpdayi), who were born without eyes, a nose and ears, respectively.

Anything for Jackson 4 star(s), 97 minutes, Shudder One of the best festival films from 2020 is now available exclusively on the Shudder streaming platform, and fans should not miss out. “Anything for Jackson” is thrilling and subversive, a wonderfully askew take on the traditional satanic cult fare that dominated movie screens in the 1970s and early 1980s. It’s also packed with dread, legitimate scares and some of the most original ghost characters that we’ve seen in years. Possessor: Uncut 4 star(s), 103 minutes, Blu-Ray and streaming Brandon Cronenberg (acclaimed cult director David Cronenberg’s son) second film, and first since 2012, is an uber-violent descent into hightech madness that likely will surprise fans with its emotional depth. “Possessor,” which is now available ‘uncut,’ meaning all the gory goodness is intact, is a cyberpunk masterpiece about a corporate spy/assassin, Tasya Vos (Andrea Riseborough), who is adept at using top-secret technology to literally inhabit the body and mind of anyone her employer chooses. This cool trick isn’t without some very real consequences, namely the risk that Vos might lose her sense of identity and possibly her life if she stays inside another person for too long. It’s not surprising in the least that young Cronenberg chooses to explore complex medical and scientific experiments as well as the fallout from people who play God. Such ideas are at the core of some of his father’s best work. But, dare I say, Brandon has the potential to exceed his father’s legacy. “Possessor” is a highconcept tightwire act done right. It’s thrilling, devastating and bloody as hell.

Parallel 3 star(s), 104 minutes, streaming I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: Time travel is one of the most difficult film genres when it comes to sticking the landing because there’s just so much pressure on a filmmaker to be disciplined and precise enough to follow their own established rules. There’s a reason why 35 years after “Back to the Future,” people still point to that film as being one of the gold-standards for time travel done right. “Parallel,” the latest from director Isaac Ezban, deals more specifically with alternate, parallel universes, but it still falls within the same framework. In Ezban’s movie, four tech-y friends and app developers discover a magical mirror that serves as a portal to a mirror world that is similar, but not exactly so, to our own reality. While I enjoyed “Parallel,” and appreciated that Ezban chose to explore some new ethical issues outside of the basic “crib the lottery numbers and become a millionaire” exploits that usually form the core of such movies, I still wanted

more, especially in the too neat and tidy third act. “Parallel” does get major props for considering the ramifications of what might happen if you literally swapped a person from one reality to another without their knowledge. If Ezban had focused more on such lofty hypotheticals and less on creating distinct villains and protagonists, “Parallel” might have been an instant cult classic. As it is, though, it’s definitely worth your time to rent and enjoy. Black Pumpkin 1 star(s), 91 minutes, streaming While imitation may be a form of flattery, I’m curious where intellectual theft falls on the scale when it comes to a first-time director basically taking another artist’s work and repurposing it as their own. Writer-director Ryan McGonagle doesn’t so much steal the entire construct of Michael Dougherty’s 2007 classic “Trick ‘r Treat,” as he just blatantly copies large chunks of Dougherty’s movie, right down to its iconic, evil imp, Sam. In “Black Pumpkin,” McGonagle gives viewers his own iteration, called Bloody Bobby, who terrorizes different groups of children and adults and exacts gory vengeance when they fail to follow the rules of Halloween. Sound familiar? It should. McGonagle’s movie even includes an extended sequence with a young boy who ignores all the warnings about checking his candy before eating, which completely rips off an identical scene from “Trick ‘r Treat.”

NEON

FILM & TV

Imagine “Peter Pan” if The Lost Boys were all dealing with physical deformities, yet they never stopped to complain or cry unfair. They just accepted what had happened and tried to make the best of it. “Girl with No Mouth” is wonderfully bizarre and surprisingly heartfelt, and it provides further proof that Evrenol is one of the most inventive and original directors working today.

SEE MORE: An ‘uncut’ versioin of ‘Possessor’ means all the gory goodness is intact.

cltampa.com | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | 37


What’s better than supporting local this holiday season? Giving back to Tampa Bay area nonprofits while supporting local businesses!

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38 | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | cltampa.com


Proof: #3 - 4.937 x 10.625 (1/2 page vert)

Sea Monsters. Wrestlers.

A serious man

‘How To with John Wilson’ is worth the binge-watch. By Christopher Cann

“

How To with John Wilson” is a show about daily life, but the end result is something remarkable. Shot primarily in and around New York City, the six-episode HBO series was described by its Executive Producer Nathan Fielder as “Planet Earth” if it was concentrated on New York. This comparison to the BBC nature documentary holds true as Wilson—the show’s director, producer, writer and cameraman—captures the mundane occurrences one may see on an average commute in New York and lifts them into the light for examination. As the title suggests, each episode acts as a tutorial but one in which the narrator is not set on a solution. The episodes begin with a basic premise (“How To Cover Your Furniture,” “How To Split The Check”) and consistently grows stranger as Wilson interviews experts and locals on a journey typically centered around an event. All the while, he matches his anxious, awkward narration with hilarious and poignant visual representations of his words. Every episode has at least one moment where the audience is forced to ask themselves, “How did he manage to film that?” From visual innuendo to a cartoonish argument over parking, Wilson must have stockpiled thousands of hours of footage to find the clips that marry his narration. Mistakes abound as well. Wilson leaves in his “ums” and long vocal hesitations for all to hear. Wilson also leaves in small mishaps, like clumsily drops of soda cans and pots full of boiling water with his camera-free hand. And

matched with the handheld camera footage, this all makes for a singular cocktail of DIY travel documentary and observational comedy. The show’s magic is its sincere attempt to reach an understanding of its topic by the end of each 30-minute episode. Whether that comes from a trip to a “Mandela effect” conference or a scaffolding collapse well outside the tristate area, Wilson’s excursions never feel forced. The footage of his unaware subjects never comes across as exploitative or insulting. Wilson is hilariously selfaware and humbly self-deprecating. Fielder’s presence can be felt in more than just the credits. Frequently, there are lingering moments that force the viewer to bathe in the awkward exchanges between host and passerby. But Wilson’s deep dives are much more internal and subtle than Fielder’s. Wilson reflects on his own habits like smoking or his desire to keep his furniture scratch-free through earnest narration and he, at times, seems like the real-life version of the anxious Larry Gopnik from the Cohen Brothers film “A Serious Man.” The final episode perfectly bookends the show with direct references to each previous one in a montage simultaneously filled with hope and existential worry. In a time when people are forced to slow down, Wilson pushes the audience to take in and appreciate the magic hidden in the trenches of day-to-day life. “How To With John Wilson” is streaming now via HBO.

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DANNY BOY: Danny Scordato’s solo album follows the breakup of his popular band.

REVIEWS PROFILES MUSIC WEEK

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Hot dream

New local music to keep you warm and safe at home. By Joshua Bradley

D

anny Scordato and Alex Merrill (collectively known as Danny and Alex) have both started new lives. Following a successful run of pre-coronavirus national shows, the pinup-pop innovators recently decided that the time has come for them to take a break from each other, and focus on solo projects. Scordato jumped out on his own almost immediately, following a drastic change in his life. During a global pandemic, Danny actually moved cross-country, from St. Petersburg to Los Angeles. Once settled, he devoted his time to a new seven-track album, Hot Dream, which dropped last month. Why yes, it is 100% worthy of being called an album—David Bowie’s Blackstar also had seven tracks, so quit ‘yer whining. There really isn’t an artist of the past that comes to mind to describe the entire album,

because Scordato either channels so many different ones, or he swings through his own indescribable style. In a press release, Scordato hailed the album as “pop for pop’s sake,” but it’s honestly more than just that. He revives ‘80s synth-pop on “1982” gives off Prince and Steely Dan vibes on “Boom Mic Operator,” and has a very stirring, Brian Wilson-driven “I Don’t Like The Beach (But I’d Go with You)” serve as the grand finale. Coincidence? Plus, Merrill actually worked with Scordato on two tracks of the album. Merrill can be heard playing additional keys on “Joni” and “Boom Mic Operator,” songs the boys cowrote together, too. Danny and Alex already has 4.5 million streams on Spotify, and has been recognized as one of NPR’s favorite Tiny Desk submissions. If Alex Merrill’s (hopefully) upcoming solo release

LOCAL MUSIC

is even half as solid as Hot Dream, members of the St. Pete duo are bound to be on their way to becoming two of the most influential musicians to come out of Tampa Bay. Listen to Hot Dream on Spotify. Largo songwriter Tristan Jarvis gives off psychedelic grunge vibes on solo EP Anhedonia After a few years of fronting Soma Riot and playing drums in Crystallized, Largo rock songwriter Tristan Jarvis is the latest addition to the bulging list of local band members and artists starting solo projects. In between tending to his three-year-old daughter, he recently found time to whip together a new psychedelic-indie four-track with producer John Cobalt. Anhedonia hit streaming services on Nov. 28, and other than one synth provided by Cobalt, and one extra voice, courtesy of Jarvis’ daughter—both on the EP’s instrumental final track “Sift”—the entire thing was performed, composed, and sung by Jarvis. Though much of the EP is mainly percussion and an acoustic guitar, with an electric or two thrown in, this isn’t a reflection of his bands and projects of the past. This is

probably the most psychedelic, yet acousticallygrunge project Jarvis has worked on. There have been solo releases from him in the past, but most of them consisted of either covers, or self-produced and recorded productions. Anhedonia’s sound has been compared to Pennsylvania indie artist Alex G, of whom Jarvis admits he wasn’t very familiar with until recently. Jarvis credits Elliott Smith, Nirvana, and The Kinks as his musical inspirations, but admits that they weren’t really in mind during the recording sessions. “I wasn’t going for a specific sound, but the melodies always dictate the direction of my songs,” Jarvis told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. And he pulled no punches, either. Who’d have thought that acoustic psychedelia could be pulled off so well in 2020? Even with the burden of a global pandemic, Jarvis has tirelessly worked on music all year— his biggest break came earlier this year, when WMNF hosted a virtual tribute to a fallen victim of the pandemic, the late John Prine (Prine was a part-time Gulfport resident who died in April, Jarvis performed a critically-acclaimed cover of “Lonesome Friends Of Science.”)

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THU DECEMBER 17–WED DECEMBER 23 By Stephanie Powers

Daniela Soledade and Nate Najar

On Monday, the first day coronavirus vaccines were administered in Florida, the state reported another 8,452 infections, bringing the total number of cases to 1.1 million. Locally, Tampa Bay added 1,570 coronavirus cases and 29 deaths on Monday. As the Tampa Bay Times pointed out, Hillsborough County now leads the region with more than 1,000 coronavirus deaths. In addition to all that, Florida still has a positivity rate of about 8.3%, well above the World Health Organization’s recommended 5%. Still, the live music scene is trying to find its feet even as last-minute postponements (the Michael Tolcher show set for this weekend at the Attic in Ybor was rescheduled) derail an already ravaged concert calendar. We’ve marked the gigs at venues that have joined a local “Safe & Sound” initiative that pledges to strictly enforce limited capacity, mask wearing and social distancing.

DANIELA SOLEDADE/FACEBOOK

Designated 'Safe & Sound' venue

FRI 18 Steel Panther w/Black Stone Cherry St. Petersburg gets a taste of the 1980s Sunset Strip thanks to comedy rock band Steel Panther, which pretty much channels Spinal Tap, but with way more makeup. The Los Angeles band performs songs like “Gloryhole” and “17 Girls in a Row” with the dysfunctional stage antics to go along. So if you have unironically seen the band Poison a handful of times, this is the show for you. If you watched the Mötley Crüe biopic “The Dirt” the day it came out, and finished the whole craptastic thing, this show for you. If you once waited in line outside of a record store to get Kip Winger’s autograph, this show for you. And if you don’t have a problem with Steel Panther’s sexist “Pussy Melter” TC Electronic preset guitar pedal sound, then this show’s for you, too. And according to their show information, “Unfortunately, the local government has informed us that it is totally ILLEGAL to attend this concert naked. They blamed Covid; so please STILL wear a mask when you’re around strangers!” If you don’t have a mask for some reason, there will be one provided and your temperature will be checked at the door. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg) Nate Najar’s Jazz Holiday In person, this show is one of the warmest parts of the local music holiday, but alas *gestures at the entire world*. Still, jazz guitarist Nate Najar presents a virtual and festive Jazz Holiday Friday night, filmed at Palladium Theater’s Hough Hall and available to watch for 48 hours. A plethora of talent joins the Nate Najar Trio, with members Joe Porter and Jean Bolduc, including Brazilian singer Daniela Soledade, Adrian Cunningham playing saxophone and

clarinet, James Suggs on trumpet and cellist Yves Dharamraj. The Brazilian songwriter and singer Soledad recently released an orchestral version of the “Sound of Music” holiday classic “My Favorite Things,” and it’s more relaxing than a field of poppies, so expect that to make an appearance. Though Palladium had a brief couple of weeks with live shows, Executive Director Paul Wilborn—a local venue manager committed to truly keeping patrons safe—decided to go online again after last month’s COVID-19 spikes. In a state where folks at the top can’t seem to safely regulate reopening and assisting local businesses through shutdowns, Wilborn’s move to be cautious should be rewarded. mypalladium.org

SAT 19 C Row Jomah Duo w/Fat Jim “Santa” Morrison Row Jomah is cutting the band in half for the no-cover BBQustic series at New World Brewery, which means it’s just singer-guitarist Joe Roma and keyboardist Austin Llewellyn performing. Roma told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that for the socially-distanced outside show, the pair will be “delivering acoustic-oriented versions of Row Jomah originals with some tasty covers thrown in the mix.” Some of those covers are sure to include the Talking Heads, which Row Jomah has been dedicating entire shows to

lately. And though it’s just a two-piece for the night, Roma’s vocal range will ensure no empty spots in his band’s jammy, rock-fusion goodness. Stick around after Row Jomah, for a performance from Fat Jim Morrison, who is taking on the role of Santa for the night. There will be slurry, crotchety versions of the Doors and bitching about the holidays (pretty much like my family Christmas parties before my dad stopped drinking). Don’t forget New World is taking COVID-19 seriously, as it should, so capacity is at 25% and masks are required. (New World Brewery, Tampa)

TUES 22 Mountain Holler w/M.W. Walker Tampa Bay’s favorite musical frontiersman, Mark Etherington aka Mountain Holler, is joined by indie-folk rocker Matt Walker aka M.W. Walker at the Hideaway for a rare week night show. Walker just released some amazing new singles— “Promises Becomes Lies” and “Lay the Body Down”—which are both ethereal gems that should definitely get you excited about that state of local music, and new music in general. Tickets are limited, seating is distanced and masks are required when not at a table. If you can’t make it, you can still support the venue and the bands by donating, tipping a server or buying band merch via hideawayathome.com. Anything helps! (Hideaway Cafe, St. Petersburg)

Melody Artisans of Crooked Thumb w/Joshua Reilly Open mics have long returned to the Tampa Bay songwriter scene, but Melody Artisans of Crooked Thumb— where songsmiths receive a prompt ahead of the event—is just now getting back to business (prompts throughout the rest of 2019 include waltz songs, songs that say Christmas, and the year end ‘wrap it up' songs). The series, naturally, looks a lot different because of COVID-19, and organizer Joshua Reilly told CL that going forward, every performer is bringing their own microphone. “I’m sanitizing the cables that the performers touch between sets. The tables are adequately spaced. I’m trying to provide the safest place possible for songwriters to come and share their work,” Reilly wrote in an email, adding that he’s bringing the series back because he himself has stopped writing. “I saw a few stories where some artists were thriving creatively during the 'pandemic era,' but overall I noticed a lot more instances where folks like myself had all but shut down in that regard,” Reilly said. “I saw bringing the series (and it’s songwriting prompts) back in December as a way to end 2020 on a creative upturn... and it’s working. Folks that are participating in every one will have five new songs to finish the year strong, and set themselves up to make 2021 the year that they write they’re best songs yet.” (Crooked Thumb Brewery, Safety Harbor)—Ray Roa

cltampa.com | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | 45


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46 | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | cltampa.com


Where the vinyl is: a list of Bay area record stores

The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) mid-2019 revenue report said streaming music accounted for 80% of total industry revenues, which rose 18% to $5.4 billion. Vinyl album revenue grew 13% to $224 million, but the RIAA also pointed out that sales of wax still only accounted for 4% of total revenues. Rough translation: Yeah, people are buying more records, but your local shop still needs you more than ever. If you’re reading this page, then you probably already know this, but you need your local shop, too. So many of the spaces listed to the right are so much more than stores. They’re community centers for ArtPool Records (2030 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-433-5195, artpoolrules.com Asylum Sights and Sounds (6566 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-384-1221 Bananas Records (2887 22nd Ave N., St. Petersburg) 727-327-4616 ext. 1, bananasrecords.com Bananas Records Warehouse (2226 16th Ave. N., St. Petersburg) 727 327-4616 ext. 2, bananasrecords.com Blue Moon Antiques, Books & Music (1413 Cleveland St., Clearwater) 727-443-7444 The Clearwater Record Shop (1610 N. Hercules Ave., Clearwater) 727-755-1201, clearwaterrecordshow.com

music lovers. Some of them are venues for local bands. The staff at most of these shops have more musical knowledge in their left ear than you’ll ever have in your entire life; they’re willing to share it with a smile on their face, too. Patronize these brick and mortars… frequently. Make friends with your neighbor behind the counter. Your wallet might be a little lighter, but your mind will be happy in return. You don’t have to stop streaming — let’s face it, no one will — but opening an app will never live up to the feeling of opening the door at your local record store. —Ray Roa

Daddy Kool Records (2430 Terminal Dr. S., Side B, St. Petersburg) 727-822-5665, daddykool.com

Kingfish Records (Main Store) (26024-B US Highway 19 N., Clearwater) 727-351-5177, kingfishrecords.com

Sound Exchange Tampa (14246 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa) 813-978-9316, soundexchangetampabay.com

Disc Exchange (6712 Central Ave., aSt. Petersburg) 727-343-5845, thediscexchange.com

Kingfish Records (Flea Market) (180 Race Track Rd., Tampa) 727-455-9923, kingfishrecords.com

Dunedin Records & Audio (757 Main St., Dunedin) 727-423-4108, dunedinrecords.com Dustin’s Vinyl Shop (180 Race Track Rd., Booth F25 W, Oldsmar) 727-678-6829, facebook.com/pg/dustinsvinylshop

Microgroove (906 N. Florida Ave., Tampa) 813-667-7089, microgroovetampa.co

Sound Exchange Pinellas Park (66th Street N and 86th Avenue N., Pinellas Park) 727-545-0042, soundexchangetampabay.com

Green Shift Music & Comics (5713 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa) 813-238-4177, greenshiftmusicandcomics.com Hello Darlin’ Records (Roving VW Camper) 727-479-6783, hellodarlinrecords.com

Mojo Books & Records (2540 E. Fowler Ave., Tampa) 813-971-9717, mojotampa.com Patrick’s Book and Record Store (15215 US Hwy.19 C, Hudson) 727-868-3168, patricksbooksandre.wixsite.com/patricks Planet Retro Records (226 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. St. N., St. Petersburg) 727-218-7434, planetretrorecords.com

St. Pete Records (6648 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-490-8861, stpeterecords.com Steelworker Records (708 W. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., Tampa) 813-666-4933, steelworkerrecords.com Unique Music & Collectables (123 Main St., Dunedin) 727-240-0757 Vintage Vinyl (38874 U.S. 19 N., Tarpon Springs) 727-940-8301, vintagevinyl.biz

cltampa.com | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | 47


48 | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | cltampa.com


Take heed, kids By Caroline DeBruhl

Dear Oracle, My wife and I are expecting our first kid. How should we be preparing the home?— Newborn Noob Cards: Moon, Seven of Pentacles reversed, Ten of Wands, Page of Swords (King of Cups, Two of Cups, Page of Cups reversed) Noob, congratulations! You and your wife must be thrilled. Also, I’m so glad I get to answer a question about a first-born because it makes me feel like a true fairy-tale witch. First things first: Nothing came up to suggest a bad omen or evil incarnate or anything like that for the kid—smooth sailing on that front. As you and your wife are about to be brand new parents, allow me to repeat what I’m sure your parents or friends with kids or nurses at the OB-GYN has already told you: you’re going to get thrown in the deep end, no matter how much you “prepare.” This isn’t to scare you! It’s just… going to be a surprising journey. For the minor arcana, we have the Seven of Pentacles—a young witch practicing her skills— reversed. You don’t quite have the practical skills yet, just the theory. But you’ll get there! You’re the Page of Swords, eager to learn! It just might feel like a crushing weight for a bit—but Ten of Swords means you can handle it! You’ll carry on! So how to prepare the home? First, take stock of everything that can kill or maim (table corners, electric sockets, a magnetic knife strip) and plug it up or cover it with foam. Read the short story “Orange World” by Miami babe Karen Russell, buy a baby gate, and then turn your attention onto yourself—to prepare the home, you must prepare the two parents living in it. The card ruling over all of this is the Moon. It is the subconscious, the dark dark, the unspoken, the shadow. It’s everything you’re afraid of bubbling up to the surface. I strongly encourage you and your wife to journal or talk with a therapist, both individually and as a couple. What are you, as a parent, worried about? Is there a part of you you’re scared of seeing in your child? Is there a worry about what kind of parent you’ll be? Are you worried about the type of world your child will be born into? (After 2020, anything seems possible.) Really do some soul searching. And then talk with your wife. Talk about everything—all the fears but also all the hopes. Talk about the big picture things like family leave and feedings. Then talk about the boring details like, “What are we going to eat for three months when we’re dead on our feet from a newborn?” You’ll be building the strongest foundation to bring your baby into. And here is some good news, Noob. I drew a

second set of cards to tell me what else I needed to know about the situation. Out tumbled the King of Cups, then Two of Cups, then the Page: The Loving Father, The Loving Child, and the beginning of the relationship. You are about to embark on what will be one of the greatest love affairs of your life—the love between father and kid. The hardships are the cost of admission, but you’ll find the event well worth the price. Congratulations, my dears. Mazel Tov to you and your wife, and I hope the light of your joy carries you through these darkening months. Dear Yboracle, during the pandemic, I’ve been planning a year long cross-country road trip. It’s something I’ve wanted to do my whole life. And thankfully, my job allows me to work from basically anywhere in the country. Should I document my travels and work in a series of YouTube vlogs? Should I become the millennial cliché and become an influencer?— Itinerant in Tampa

ORACLE OF YBOR

Cards: Eight of Wands, King of Cups, The Star, Seven of Swords. You know what, Itinerant? I’m not sure. Something is going on in this question below the surface, something darker than what’s in front of me. If it weren’t for the last card of the spread, I’d say, “go for it!” We have at the beginning the Eight of Wands, which is “burn this town,” get out, start life anew. We have the Star, which is often the agent of positive growth, and the King of Cups, which we saw in the question above as a man of great love. New life, bright Star, a heart full of love? Seems great! But then we have the Seven of Swords at the end; the card of self-destructive, compulsory, bad habits. It pops when you need to watch your drinking, drug use, and gambling—any practice with a 12-step process of coping attached to it. So we have to go back to the dichotomous Star. It’s fire and water, alpha and omega, action and inertia. It is growth, but it might not be the positive kind. You could leave the shackles and the destructive nature behind and set off across this beautiful country and make your vagabond videos, and it can be your calling, your true love! You could also set out and slip into some real bad habits and burn down the life that the King of Cups promised—both of these are possible outcomes. I wish I knew exactly what you wanted to film. While the last line in your question may be tongue-in-cheek, I don’t think it is. Why do you want to become an influencer? What itch will that scratch? Is it a Kardashian thing where you

want to be famous to be famous? Do you want to vlog because you have a unique perspective on something? I do think if you’ve wanted to spend a year traveling across the country and you can swing it financially, you should go forth. But be wary, watch for trouble. In those long stretches of

midnight highway, it’ll only be your thoughts blooming in the dark. Take heed, kid. Creative Loafing Tampa Bay is gauging interest in seeing more of the Ybor Oracle. Send your feedback and questions to comments@cltampa.com (SUBJ: “Ybor Oracle”)

cltampa.com | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | 49


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Gay dream believer I’m wondering if you can help me with some dream interpretation. If it helps for context, I’m a single 29-year-old gay man. For just about as long as I can remember, I’ve been having mildly unsatisfying sex dreams in that the dreams never seem to lead to sex itself. My dream partners range from people I work with to people from high school to celebrities I’ll never get the chance to meet. I never dream about someone I wouldn’t want to sleep with in the waking world, given the opportunity. The scenarios are generally different as well. Sometimes the sexual tension is palpable, but we’re in a crowded room. Sometimes we get close enough to get started, but the setting is off. Sometimes we start to get hot and heavy, but the dream ends just prior to the sex. In each case I wake up frustrated and masturbate to finish the fantasy. I’ve been pretty sexually starved during the pandemic, Dan, so you can imagine my frustration when I woke up this morning having almost had dream sex with Andrew Rannells. Can you think of why this might be happening? Any advice would be appreciated!—Distancing Real Earnestly And Missing Erotic Romps

The real takeaway here, DREAMER, is that you now have Rannells’ permission to masturbate about him whenever you like—or at least that’s how I would interpret his encouragement to fantasize about “more complete” experiences with the men who populate your dreams, Rannells included. You didn’t need his permission to masturbate about him, of course, and as a general rule we shouldn’t need to ask the people we want to jack off about for their OK. But Rannells basically offered, DREAMER, so have at. “Ultimately, we can’t control our dreams,” added Rannells. “For instance I have a recurring stress dream where I am supposed to be driving Jessica Lange somewhere and I can’t get the GPS to work. What does it mean? We’ll never know.” Follow @ AndrewRannells on Instagram.

SAVAGE LOVE

“Well this is certainly VERY interesting,” said actor, singer, and author Andrew Rannells. “I’m honored I made the list of people DREAMER would actually have sex with in real life, if given the chance.” Seeing as this two-time Tony-Award nominee is taken—Rannells fell in love with Tuc Watkins, one of his co-stars in “Boys In the Band” on Broadway, and the two men now live together in Los Angeles—there’s not much chance of something happening between an anonymous “Savage Love” reader, DREAMER, and Rannells, one of the stars of The Prom on Netflix. But Rannells was more than happy to do a little amateur dream interpretation for a fan. “As for the root of this issue,” said Rannells, “I suppose it could have something to do with not having the confidence of actually following through with the full act? Maybe while awake he could experiment with fantasizing about a more complete experience and see if that changes his dream life?” My two cents: perhaps these dreams are lingering evidence of some shame about your same-sex desires—which is why your dream universes conspire to prevent you from having gay sex—or perhaps the continued existence of bigots who would prevent gay men from having sex preys on your subconscious mind and manifests in the form of these frustrating/frustration dreams. Or maybe there’s no way of knowing what the hell is going on here and trying to attach meaning to something as random as a dream is a waste of time, or a scam, or both.

After years of receiving oral sex from girlfriends who were careful to never inflict any sort of pain on my testicles, I met a woman who wasn’t so careful. For our fifth date, she came back to my place and we watched a movie. After the movie we began to kiss and soon she was making love to my stiff penis with her mouth while rather roughly massaging my testicles. However this came to be, I was liking it quite a bit. The more pressure she applied to my testicles, the harder my penis became. This has never happened to me in my 33 years of lovemaking! I actually asked her to squeeze my testicles harder and harder and I can honestly say my penis was harder than it has ever been. Against my better judgment, I asked her to squeeze my testicles as hard as she could. After several seconds of the most intense pressure she could provide, I had the most powerful orgasm I have ever had. All of a sudden, I was dizzy and my vision went black. When I finally came back to reality, there was an extraordinary amount of come all over the place. She has made love to my penis dozens of times since in the same manner. My question: Will there be any physical complications to my newly discovered taste for this kind of play? I look forward to your response!—This Exquisitely Sensuous Torment Enhances Sex Ball busting—the kink you stumbled on—is inherently risky, TESTES, in that you could actually rupture, aka “bust,” one or both of your balls. Hence the name. But considering how much pleasure you’re deriving from this and considering how short life is and considering how long you’ve been sexually active and considering how little use you’re gonna get out of your balls once you’re dead, TESTES, I don’t see any reason why you should deprive yourself—at this stage—of this newly discovered sexual pleasure. Well, actually… I can see one reason why you might want

JOE NEWTON

By Dan Savage

to knock this off: when it comes to ball busting, TESTES, there’s no way to eliminate the risk of a physical complication that lands your sack in the emergency room and E.R. nurses and doctors have enough on their plates right now. So maybe give your balls a break until after the pandemic is over and then go nuts. I’m writing in response to WHY, the Italian fellow whose partner has a significantly lower libido than he does. I would like to share my perspective. I have a high libido and my partner of more than 20 years has a low libido. From the perspective of the person with the lower libido, there’s no problem to address. The person with the lower libido gets to have sex whenever they want. When they don’t want sex, it doesn’t happen. If WHY wants to engage his partner in a conversation about this, he has to make it clear this is a make-or-break situation. Use very specific language like, “If we can’t talk about this, I’m leaving,” or, “If we don’t go to counseling, I can’t stay in this relationship.” In my case, I did not communicate how important the issue was, and my partner did not think we needed to talk about it because it wasn’t a problem for her and she didn’t know—because I didn’t tell her—how much of a problem it was for me. Eventually I acted out and had a random hookup.

We wound up in counseling, which got us talking, but nothing changed the fact that we have very different libidos. More than likely I am moving out when our youngest son goes to college. If I had to do it over again, I would have let my partner know exactly how important it is to me that we have a healthy, robust sexual relationship. Having a difficult conversation is better than acting out in a way that puts everyone’s health at risk and damages trust. I have no idea if that would have changed things between us, but I would feel a whole lot better about how things went down.— One Man’s Opinion Thank you for sharing, OMO, and here’s hoping you get a chance to “do it over again.” With a new partner, if you wind up leaving your partner, or with the partner you have now, if you stay. There’s nothing you can say to change your partner’s libido, OMO, but if you keep talking you may be able to work out a compromise or an accommodation that takes the pressure off her (to round her libido up) and off you (to round yours down). Good luck. Contact mail@savagelove.net, follow @ FakeDanSavage on Twitter, and visit savagelovecast.com to learn all about your pelvic floor with Dr. Rachel Gelman.

cltampa.com | DECEMBER 17-23, 2020 | 51


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