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ck and the practice of displaying animals VP OF DIGITAL SERVICES Stacy Volhein s asking for too much? Or is it time for a DIGITAL OPERATIONS COORDINATOR nt” animals? Jaime Monzon

How Trump whooped Biden’s ass in Florida, p. 15.

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editor's note

Good Lorde

Wisdom from a ‘black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet’ inspired CL’s election cover.

ust before noon on Saturday, the Associated Press called the 2020 presidential election for the Democratic ticket featuring former Vice President Joe Biden and now Vice President-elect Kamala Harris. The announcement came as the BidenHarris ticket’s path to the presidency became inevitable after Election Day. CNN was the first television network to call the race for Biden and Harris after projecting an insurmountable Biden lead in the race for Pennsylvania’s 20’s electoral college votes. As of press time on Tuesday, Nov. 10, Biden and Harris owned nearly 76.3 million votes across the U.S., more votes than any ticket in American history. With results in Arizona, Georgia and North Carolina still too close to call, the Electoral College votes stand at 279214 in favor of Biden and Harris. With the win, Harris, a mixed-race daughter of an Indian mother and Jamaican father becomes the first woman to become Vice President. As the New York Times points out, she has now risen “higher in the country’s leadership than any woman ever before her.” (As NPR has pointed out, Charles Curtis, Herbert Hoover’s vice president, was a member of Kaw Nation, making him the first person of color to hold that office.) Trump, poetically, was headed to a golf course when he heard the news. He ended up spending the weekend there while Biden and Harris formed their transition team and started working on combating the coronavirus. There are still so many questions left to answer—especially in Florida where Democrats took sweeping losses—and while not every one of the 71.6 million Americans who voted for Donald Trump fall under the QAnon, believe-anything45-says category, there are many who’ve bought into Trump’s lies about a rigged election and every conspiracy theory he tosses out. That’s scary as hell. This issue attempts to address and hopefully lead us to some answers to the questions we’re asking as we all take a big sigh of relief.

On Saturday, when the news broke, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay shared this cover finally arriving on newsstands today. The art is by Tampa-based designer and artist David Cabassa, aka Mega Supremo. Cabassa told CL that a quote from selfdescribed “black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet” Audre Lorde (pictured) had been at the forefront of his mind last week. It says: “For the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house. They may allow us to temporarily beat him at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change.” After experiencing a gut-wrenching Trump victory in 2016, Cabassa was determined to avoid foolhardy predictions this time around, so for the last few weeks he’s tempered his optimism with a healthy dose of caution. He took down the walls and breached his defenses when CL asked him to create a cover in the event Joe Biden won. “I was forced to imagine a day where Trump was on his way out of the White House. Despite my best intentions I couldn’t (and can’t) envision a rosy or hopeful image of that day,” Cabassa wrote. “So this cover is a petulant Trump scream and an emphatic YOU’RE FIRED delivered via the millions of USPS delivered mail ballots that decided this year’s election. Felt right.” In Cabassa’s eyes, a thick haze of anger and despair blankets a country running out of options. While it was no contest when it came to “the lesser of two evils,” American democracy left voters with the choice of Biden or Trump. “I don’t mean to suggest equivalency here. Trump and his policies are several orders of magnitude worse for Americans, but with climate change, social inequality and a global pandemic enveloping the country we are in dire need of someone that will fundamentally reshape what our future can look like,” Cabassa wrote. “That candidate was not on our ballots this year.” “What was on the ballot this year was time,”

SPELMAN ARCHIVES

By Ray Roa

“For the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house. They may allow us to temporarily beat him at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change.”

6 | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | cltampa.com

he added. “We’ve bought ourselves precious time and space and conditions more hospitable to enact real change at a grassroots level. The work Stacy Abrams, Lauren Groh-Wargo and countless others have done in Georgia offers us a streak of hope and a peek into what’s possible when we focus and organize every day after Election Day. Our tool last week was a vote, but

it cannot be our only tool going forward. We’ve only temporarily won their game.” He’s right: There’s so much work to do, Tampa Bay. And we’re going to do it together. But for now, we hope you popped a fucking bottle and let yourself revel in the relief. And we hope you didn’t forget to hug your local postal worker along the way.

8 | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | cltampa.com

con

Big sigh

Photos by Kimberly DeFalco

ore than 75 million voters headed into the work week with a sweet hangover all thanks to Saturday when the Associated Press called the 2020 presidential election for the ticket with Joe Biden and Kamala Harris on it. Cheeto also spent Sunday golfing, but to celebrate, some TampeĂąos spent Saturday night partying outside Casa Biden campaign office in West Tampa. See more election coverage via photos.cltampa.com.â€”Ray Roa

continued on page 11

cltampa.com | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | 9

10 | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | cltampa.com

continued from page 9

cltampa.com | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | 11

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POLITICS

ISSUES

OPINION

Florida Democrats taking ‘long, hard look’ after sweeping losses. By Dara Kam/News Service of Florida

orget purple state. And don’t even think about blue state. Florida Republicans dominated Election Day from the top of the ballot on down, leaving Democrats searching for answers after more than two decades of GOP control of the state. In a victory that by Sunshine State standards was a landslide, President Donald Trump defeated Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden by more than three percentage points in Florida, more than doubling the edge he held over Democrat Hillary Clinton four years ago. Republicans upset two incumbent South Florida congresswomen, flipped five state House seats and could pick up a seat in the state Senate, making a mockery of Democrats’ hopes to cut into the GOP’s legislative dominance. The across-the-board losses leave Democrats and their state party in shreds as they begin to gear up for midterm elections in 2022, including a gubernatorial election. Even before Trump officially notched his win on Election night in Florida, some Democrats were calling for a state party shakeup. “I’m saying it now. We need a whole new direction for the @FlaDems,” state Rep. Anna Eskamani, D-Orlando, tweeted before 10 p.m. Nov. 3. “We are losing too many incredible down ballot elected officials and candidates right now and it’s not ok. I know we have the potential to be better and do better. We do it everyday here in #HD47” Eskamani, a firebrand liberal who was first elected to the House in 2018, won her reelection bid in Orange County’s House District 47 by more than 18,000 votes. “I want to be in a place of celebrating those victories, but unfortunately the losses of the state of Florida is another reflection of just how broken our party is and how we continue to let consultants and corporations set our agenda,” she said during a Zoom call Wednesday morning. Eskamani said her re-election came with marginal support from the Florida Democratic Party, adding that her political committee contributed more than $35,000 to help other candidates. Eskamani, who is seen as a rising star in what’s known as the “back row” where Democrats sit in the Florida House chamber, said the state party needs a top-to-bottom makeover. Throughout the day Wednesday, pressure mounted for the ouster

of Florida Democratic Party Chairwoman Terrie Rizzo and party executive director Juan Peñalosa. Rizzo issued a statement late Wednesday that thanked people who “gave their blood, sweat, and tears to help Democrats win.” “While we are confident in the ultimate victory of Joe Biden, I know our Florida losses sting deep, for our party, the candidates, and the 5 million Florida Democrats looking to build on the progress we have made,” the statement said. “Together with our state and national partners, we need to do a deep dive to address data and turnout issues that caused these losses, and where our party goes from here.“ But Eskamani said the party should begin with new leaders. “Step one is complete new leadership. The challenge is, who wants to step up,” Eskamani said. “It is challenging, but step one is to tell your friends that they’ve got to step back, and it isn’t easy.” Other strategists, however, noted that candidates at the top of the ticket have more control than party officials over the hiring of consultants and messaging. Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Fried, Florida’s only statewide elected Democrat, acknowledged that Florida Democrats “suffered some hard losses” on election night. “Our party needs to take a long hard look at what went wrong in the election, and how we move forward,” she said in a prepared statement. “As leaders, we must do better, and we must all work together to mend our fractured political system.” Amid state Democrats’ post-election autopsy, political experts agree that Florida is now decidedly in the red state column. Part of Trump’s success rested in his support from Hispanic voters in the state’s most populous county— Miami-Dade—as well as those along the I-4 corridor between Tampa Bay and Orlando. Hillary Clinton held a nearly 300,000vote edge in Miami-Dade over Trump in 2016, although she lost the state to the Republican. But Biden’s lead over Trump shriveled to just 84,000 votes. Trump began courting Cuban-Americans in Miami-Dade not long after his 2016 White House victory, frequently traveling to the region and feting community leaders at his Mar-A-Lago home, Florida International University political

ELECTIONS

PHOTO VIA ANNA V. ESKAMANI CAMPAIGN

No excuses

TEAR IT DOWN: ‘We should have had a good shot of winning, and we didn’t,’ state Rep. Anna Eskamani said. science professor Dario Moreno told The News Service of Florida. He kept up the effort throughout the past four years and intensified the outreach to South Florida Hispanics—including emigres from Venezuela and Colombia—by painting Biden and Democratic vice-presidential candidate Kamala Harris as “socialists.” Biden made a series of missteps that alienated South Florida Hispanics, Moreno said, such as considering California Congresswoman Karen Bass as a running mate. Bass created a furor when she called Fidel Castro’s death “a great loss,” Moreno said. About 83% of Miami-Dade Republicans voted in the presidential election, compared to just 68 percent of Democrats, Moreno added. “This was the mobilization that the Trump campaign did. And Biden did not have a ground campaign in Dade County. They did not have people canvassing because of the pandemic,” the FIU professor said. Trump’s messaging about the economy and job creation also resonated with Hispanics, including Puerto Ricans who had been targeted by Biden, according to Moreno. “Trump is a jerk, but he’s extremely politically cunning. I think this thing about firing (infectious disease expert Anthony) Fauci wasn’t misspoken. It was a signal to a lot of people that he was not going to lock down,” he said, referring to comments Trump made during an Opa-locka rally early Nov. 2. “I think all those things combine.” Republican Party of Florida Chairman Joe Gruters, who also serves as a state senator from Sarasota, credited the GOP’s turnout machine,

fundraising efforts by Gov. Ron DeSantis and legislative leaders and the president himself for Tuesday’s red wave in Florida. “We won because of our ground game and the fact that we ran circles around the Democrats. We had a well-oiled machine. We were literally pounding the pavement every day,” Gruters said in a phone interview. Democratic consultant Steve Vancore agreed that Republicans did a much better job than his party at getting voters to cast ballots, a frequent problem for Democrats. “As long as the Democratic Party is structured the way it is in Florida, you cannot expect change,” he said. “You need to tear it down and rebuild it.” While both parties seemed flush with cash during the 2020 election cycle, at least at the top of the ticket, Republicans spent their money “on the ground, doing the really hard work,” Vancore told the News Service. “The Democrats almost bragged about not going door to door, saying, ‘We’re not going to do that, COVID, blah blah blah blah blah,’ and it came to bear on Election Day,” he said. Democrats’ losses might be hardest felt in the state Senate, where they had hoped to pick up two open seats to chip away at the GOP’s 23-17 advantage. Instead, Democrats failed to capture either race and could be facing the loss of an incumbent. Sen. Jose Javier Rodriguez, D-Miami, trailed Republican Ileana Garcia by 21 votes as ballots continued to be counted Nov. 4. Republicans also ousted U.S. House members Donna Shalala and Debbie Mucarsel-Powell in South Florida. “These are races that we should have had a good shot of winning, and we didn’t,” Eskamani said.

“We continue to let consultants and corporations set our agenda.”

cltampa.com | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | 13

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Top Trump adviser points to voter outreach, data in Florida win. By Jim Saunders/News Service of Florida

top Florida campaign strategist for President Donald Trump credited outreach to a broad swath of voters and sophisticated use of data as playing key roles in Trump’s win last Tuesday over Democrat Joe Biden in the state. Trump senior adviser Susie Wiles, in a threepage memo Nov. 5, said the campaign focused on reaching out to “non-traditional Republican voter groups,” including conservative Jewish voters, parents of children who attend charter schools, Hispanics and Black voters in targeted counties. At the same time, she said the campaign worked to bring back voters who helped Trump carry the state in 2016. “Focusing on the Trump voter from 2016 was a priority,” Wiles wrote in the memo. “Often these voters were not members of a Republican Club --- sometimes not Republicans --- and not drawn to GOP ideology but rather to President Trump as a brand. Re-engaging them was important and proved critical to GOTV (getout-the-vote) and voter contact efforts.” At the same time, Wiles described data as “king” and said the campaign “built margin through hyper-targeted voter registration, messaging, persuasion, and Get-Out-The-Vote efforts.” “We targeted strategic demographic groups that are not traditional Republican supporters with messaging that was uniquely tailored to them,” Wiles wrote. “These targeted messages leveraged the president’s position on issues or amplified negatively our opponent’s position on an issue of importance to targeted voters.” The memo offers a glimpse of behind-thescenes efforts that helped Trump carry Florida by more than three percentage points, after

pre-election polls showed the president and Biden in a toss-up race for the state’s 29 electoral votes. Trump defeated Biden by about 373,000 votes --- more than triple the margin of his 2016 victory in Florida over Democrat Hillary Clinton --- and carried 55 of the state’s 67 counties. After Election Day results became clear, heavy attention focused on Trump’s performance in Democrat-rich Miami-Dade County and particularly his performance among Cuban-Americans and other Hispanics. Biden carried Miami-Dade by nearly 85,000 votes, according to unofficial results. But that was a far cry from Clinton’s 290,147-vote margin in Miami-Dade in 2016. In part, Republicans pounded a message about Democrats being “socialists,” a description that hurt Biden among groups such as CubanAmericans and Venezuelan-Americans. While Republicans maintained their longstanding dominance in rural and mid-sized counties statewide, Wiles said in the memo that Trump had a net gain of 224,331 votes in heavily Democratic Miami-Dade, Broward and Osceola counties. Also, Wiles pointed to outreach efforts that she said totaled about 27 million voter contacts through phone calls and door-knocking. She contrasted that with what she described as a Democratic strategy to focus on a “pony express absentee voter request campaign,” which allowed a “superhighway clear of all traffic for Trump Victory Florida to have historic participation.” She said data allowed the campaign to tailor messages to specific groups. “The team integrated data into every mode of communication --- digital, mail, texting, canvassing and phones,” she wrote.

ELECTIONS

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cltampa.com | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | 15

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DAVE DECKER

MISSED THE STATION: Trump lost, but his followers will drive around rudderless every weekend.

Off the rails

A ‘Trump Train’ will drive around Tampa Bay every weekend until inauguration. By Colin Wolf and Ray Roa

s of Tuesday, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris were winners of 279 Electoral College votes compared to Trump’s 214 (you need 270 to win). The Associated Press and any news network with a brain has called the race for the Democrats, and the path to victory for President Donald Trump is literally gone. Nevertheless, Tampa Bay’s MAGA faithful will do what they know best, which involves climbing into a vehicle of some sort—often a lifted truck or a boat—and drive around for hours at a time. According to the “Tampa’s Trump - Florida” Facebook group, a “Trump Train” to “Support Our President” is planned for every Saturday until the inauguration, which is January 20. The route appears to be contained to I-4, I-275, and I-75, and runs from 10 a.m.-1:30 p.m, so, prepare for consistent weekend traffic slowdowns. Certainly, driving around in circles while waving flags that say things like “Fuck your feelings” and “No more bullshit” is a familiar comfort for irritated Trump supporters, who seem to find it hard to believe that more than 76 million people voted for a “sleepy” man, rather than the guy who screamed on Twitter for four years straight. Unsurprisingly, events like this are a hotbed for far-right memes, including posts calling for violence against protesters, and even some specifically praising Kyle Rittenhouse who was charged with shooting and killing multiple

people in Wisconsin. Bail for Rittenhouse was recently set at $2 million. Similar groups have also organized QAnonrelated “Save our Children” events in Orlando and Trumptilla’s in Tampa Bay In August, Tampa Bay ‘Trumptilla’ organizers attempted a world record, but Guinness has yet to verify it. After the attempt, Cliff Gephart—owner of Conservative Grounds coffee shop and an organizer of the “MOAB… Mother of all Boat Parades”—told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that well over 1,181 boats passed through the Welch Causeway, which would ensure a world record. However, Gephart would not share an official boat count. The current world record for largest boat parade happened at the Port of Kemaman in 2014 when 1,180 boats celebrated Malaysia Day in Kemaman, Terengganu, Malaysia. Gephart showed CL a still-pending application to the Guinness book, submitted on June 2; he told CL that his team still has to review video footage from the attempt before submitting it to Guinness officials. Gephart added that boats passed under the Welch Causeway bridge for more than three hours. In a nod to Trump, who regularly makes unverified claims, a number of news reports and countless Twitter posts—including one from Florida’s former attorney general Pam Bondi—are laying claim to the record. If only trucks, boat parades and Parler accounts translated to actual votes.

LOCAL NEWS

cltampa.com | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | 17

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DAVE DECKER

POWER STRUGGLE: In New Port Richey, a member of the Proud Boys shows he’s not OK.

Nothing to be proud of

During march for transparency, Pasco BLM is met with hate. By Ray Roa

n Monday, the New Port Richey Police Department announced that Florida Department of Law Enforcement (FDLE) is currently working on the investigation surrounding a Nov. 3 incident when officers shot a white male who was reportedly inside Sullivan’s Boulevard Lounge; the man was threatening to shoot people as they were walking inside. NPRPD says that when officers arrived at the location and attempted to make contact, the man pulled out a gun and pointed it towards the officers. The man, later identified as Guy Bradly Able, 56, succumbed to his injuries and was pronounced deceased at North Bay Hospital. The news from NPRPD came a day after Pasco Black Lives Matter protesters marched to demand more transparency and accountability within the department.

On Sunday, the group—which has caused zero property damage—listed off demands including an investigation by FDLE into the entire police department, bodycams for all officers to be worn at all times, and a community accountability board. In September, NPR City Council unanimously agreed to immediately spend $264,554 for 40 body cameras and 13 cameras for police cars. Sullivan’s did have cameras, but neither officer involved in the Nov. 3 incident was wearing a bodycam. On Sunday, NPRPD Police Chief Kim Bogart told WFTS that the bodycams were backordered but just came in. Also present at the Sunday protest was a small group of Proud Boys who looked like they just had a few beers at the local wing house. Some wore the collared shirt uniform of the

PROTESTS

SPLC-designated hate group. Others wore Hawaiian shirts co-opted by members of another fringe movement, the boogaloo. A few more took no hesitation to flash the “white power” sign at and around BLM protesters. The Proud Boys have been banned from Facebook and Instagram. In August, the group took to the social media site Parler to glorify and praise Kyle Rittenhouse, who was charged with first-degree intentional homicide in connection with shootings that left two people dead in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Bail for Rittenhouse was recently set at $2 million. In August, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay asked New Port Richey City Council and PD to comment on the presence of hate groups in their town. Not one email to council was returned, but NPRPD Deputy Chief Lauren Letona told CL that, “We cannot predict who is going to show up at these events. We are there to provide safety and enforce the law regardless of what groups are involved.” A month later, NPRPD told CL it no longer employs an officer who allegedly gave a pro-police Facebook user information on the whereabouts of a Black Lives Matter demonstration.

On Tuesday, Letona emailed CL, writing, “To my knowledge, there was no property damage reported from this last weekend’s event.” In regards to CL’s question about a SPLC-designated hate group with members flashing “white power” signs Letona wrote, “they were doing nothing illegal, so we have no further comment.” Classifying throwing “white power” signs as a crime is certainly a gray area. For it to be a hate crime, there has to be an underlying offense. It’s not a crime just to be hateful and to say so, but if it’s coupled with violence or a credible threat of violence, it’s a hate crime. Some watching video from the event might argue that a simple assault happened (state statute 784.011 classifies it as second-degree misdemeanor; an “assault” is an intentional, unlawful threat by word or act to do violence to the person of another, coupled with an apparent ability to do so, and doing some act which creates a well-founded fear in such other person that such violence is imminent”). But then again, why would a Proud Boy say something violent in front of a cop? In New Port Richey, cops just pray with Proud Boys. The more interesting question is whether the Proud Boys meet the definition of a “criminal gang” under the statute.

cltampa.com | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | 19

Our long national nightmare isn’t over yet Trump might be gone, but Trumpism isn’t. By Jeffrey C. Billman

“H

winning white suburbs. But the returns made clear that Democrats have a messaging problem with some working-class voters—mostly lowereducation whites, yes, but also some people of color who bought Trump’s promises of economic prosperity. Arguments about the soul of the nation and the dangers of authoritarianism resonated among college-educated Americans. Among everyone else, not so much. Within 48 hours of the election, introspection morphed into full recrimination. Moderates blamed progressives for Democrats’ lackluster showing, claiming that words like “socialism” and “defund” cost them seats. Progressives countered that Black voters had secured Biden’s wins in Michigan, Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Arizona; forsaking their needs to chase white suburbanites is counterproductive. In a way, this exemplifies Democrats’ dilemma. They comprise a coalition party, drawing from disparate factions with little resemblance to each other. Only in the U.S. would Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Joe Manchin call the same party home. Republicans, meanwhile, are ideologically sorted and much more orthodox. They don’t need coalitions, and they have little use for those outside of their base. In 2016, when Trump careened into office despite earning 2.9 million

fewer votes than Hillary Clinton, Republicans governed not as a minority that drew its power from constitutional anachronisms but as if they had a mandate from God to put partisan hacks on the federal bench and cut taxes for the rich. Implicitly, Trump’s votes were more legitimate than Clinton’s—more reflective of the “Real America”—an idea buttressed by countless New York Times features on MAGA types in Midwestern diners. This year, the implicit became explicit: Biden’s (ahem, urban) votes must be fraudulent, even if they can’t prove it. (As one Pennsylvania state representative tweeted, “It remains to be proven but it appears Dems in Philly did not let a good crisis in COVID go to waste and ruined the integrity of our election process.”) The party’s radicalization is both a product and cause of its epistemic closure: Facts that deviate from its worldview must be discarded. For those of us outside the bubble, the results border on hilarity. On Saturday, for instance, Trump consigliere Rudy Giuliani held an amazing press conference outside of a Philadelphia landscaping shop (which was—chef’s kiss—next to a porn store) to insist there was a massive conspiracy to steal the election (evidence to come, pinky-swear!).

But there are real-life consequences. The thin-gruel legal challenges will fail, but Trump is nonetheless refusing to turn over the keys to the Biden transition team, hampering an incoming administration that will inherit myriad crises. Trump, meanwhile, wants to host a series of MAGA rallies to complain that the election was fraudulent and Biden’s presidency is illegitimate—actions that could have dangerous consequences. Few prominent Republicans will get in his way; their devolution into mushbrained quislings who quake at the thought of a Trump tweet is complete. Trump’s shadow will linger for years, maybe decades after he’s gone. For the immediate future, he’ll be a kingmaker. It’s possible he’ll run again in 2024, or that Ivanka or Don Jr. will. It would be foolish to count them out. Consider this: More than 70 million people, after witnessing four years of The Trump Show, wanted to do it again. Whoever the next GOP nominee is, they’ll sing from Trump’s hymnal. Conservatism is dead. Trumpism remains. We’ll get a reprieve, a chance to inhale—and if Democrats prevail in the Senate runoffs in Georgia in January, an opportunity to inch forward on climate change and health care policy. But our long national nightmare isn’t over yet.

INFORMED DISSENT

TIA DUFOUR

ow American conservatism dies is the most important story, by far, of this moment,” Matthew Sheffield, a cofounder of the right-wing media-criticism site NewsBusters, wrote in a mea culpa Twitter thread on Friday night. “Conventional media will never tell this story because their business is built on the lie that [Donald] Trump is an aberration rather than apotheosis.” Sheffield’s thread bemoaned the right’s susceptibility to bullshit—specifically, Trump’s lies about voter fraud—following decades of conservative propaganda. But here he touched on two ideas central to understanding modern American politics that warrant further exploration: 1) Conservatism is dead. 2) Trump is a symptom of conservatism’s collapse, not its cause. Trumpism lives on. By rights, Joe Biden won a decisive victory. Historically, defeating an incumbent first-term president is hard. It’s only happened three times in a century. Defeating right-wing populism is also hard. Biden won more than 300 electoral votes. When all is said and done, he’ll receive the support of the largest share of the votingage population since Richard Nixon in 1972. Democrats kept the House, and, in January’s runoff elections in Georgia, they’ll have a chance to retake the Senate. Yet Tuesday night felt like a disappointment. In part, it was the order in which votes were counted and the uncertainty it produced. In part, it owed to polls foretelling a blue wave that never materialized. But mostly, it was because the goal wasn’t just to defeat Trump. It was to repudiate him and the spineless quislings who spent the last four years goose-stepping to his every utterance. The 230,000 dead from COVID demanded a landslide. The children locked in cages demanded a landslide. The wanton corruption demanded a landslide. It didn’t happen. Instead, Democrats lost seats in Congress and state legislatures. And had the vote swung just a point in the other direction, the GOP would likely have had a governing trifecta in Washington. Such a close shave with illiberalism should prompt introspection. Dems juiced urban turnout, but Trump matched it in the exurbs and rural towns. He even made gains among Hispanics and African Americans. In some cases, there’s a ready explanation: In South Florida, the Trump campaign fear-mongered relentlessly—and effectively—about socialism on Spanish-language media. In other cases, Democrats simply got out hustled. To be sure, Biden overwhelmingly won BIPOC votes. He also offset Trump’s gains by

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QUISLING CRAVING: Spineless quislings who’ve goose-stepped to Trump’s every utterance aren’t going away.

Shit Happened SATURDAY 07

Paula White, a Central Florida pastor who also serves as the Trump administration’s spiritual advisor, was seen in a clip chanting about Trump at a post-election prayer service. The video has gone viral, and of course, someone had to splice the clip with the backing track of Eminem’s “Without Me,” along with a Vibing Cat meme. Speaking in tongues like a maniac never looked so cool.

KIMBERLY DEFALCO

SOAPMOINE/TWITTER

THURSDAY 05

The Associated Press and every news outlet not called Breitbart calls the 2020 election for Joe Biden. Floridian Democrats—who saw their state turn deep red amid devastating losses in Sunshine State races—dance in the streets with their buttcheeks clenched tighter than ever before.

MONDAY 09

Drop by during normal hours Tuesday thru Friday 11-4 Saturday 11-6 • Sunday 12-4

NHC_ATLANTIC/TWITTER

Tampa Bay beekeepers say they can use your old political signs to save the bees by using them as insulation and protection from other pests. Linda DiGloria, owner of Glory Bee Farms, is currently accepting signs to pass along to the Pinellas County Beekeepers Association, but no one knows if Trump signs are less effective since so many of his followers don’t believe in science.

Learn traditional printmaking Workshops in - Etching - Lithography - Letterpress - Silkscreen and more. Our gallery space has local and handmade gifts for your holiday budget!

FRIDAY 06 City of Tampa advances a change to liquor ordinance that would allow for Sunday morning alcohol sales if approved by City Council on Dec. 3, “The mayor will sign it if approved and it will go into effect immediately,” according to her spokesperson. Great, no more awkward silence when I have to walk my 18-pack of Coors Light back to the cooler at 10 a.m.

TUESDAY 10 Tropical Storm Eta’s ETA in Tampa Bay never actually arrives, extending the Bay area’s incredibly lucky streak when it comes to hurricanes and storms. Our fingers are crossed twiced, and we knock on every piece of wood we see. Get the news—but a tiny bit less shitty now that Trump is voted out—via cltampa.com/news.

LaFrance is OPEN & Celebrating 46 Years of Business in Ybor City!

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24 | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | cltampa.com BIWFD_FL_BeefCouncil_CL Advertisement.indd 1

9/20/2018 2:46:25 PM

“We owe eternal gratitude to people crazy enough to open a restaurant.” RESTAURANTS

RECIPES

DINING GUIDES

Goan back now

Avo’s Kitchen lets you experience a 9,000-mile journey without leaving your living room. By Jon Palmer Claridge heat overwhelming. My son, however, can’t get enough. You know where your own taste lies. The wings themselves are meaty and well-cooked. We choose to go with a trio of chef selections in lieu of the mix-and-match option. Each one is full of flavor and well-balanced. There’s lots of variety inside the broader world of curry spice. Millennial Falcon is a veggie affair with chili-fried tempeh and lots of contrasting texture, heat and distinct curry spice. The base is Pilau rice pilaf and lentils plus curried cauliflower florets and chickpeas. It’s tossed in some creamy Rooster sauce with jalapeño and cilantro leaves and then layered with lush avocado crescents and crisp pickle rounds.

TAKEOUT

AVOSKITCHENSTPETE/FACEBOOK

e hold this truth to be self-evident: food critics love to eat. And the corollary that follows directly from that core value is that we owe eternal gratitude to people crazy enough to open a restaurant. They must be totally enthralled and, then, be able to sustain that thrill of first love. It’s a tough business under any circumstances. And now, there’s 2020. Much of our globe is having a communal culinary experience; if you’re reading this you’re more than likely a restaurant patron bitch-slapped by this pandemic. The future is uncertain. When will our lives return to normal? Will our favorite haunts where we met friends and lovers to break bread together survive? Even these fleeting questions prompt pangs of dread and elicit waves of empathy. Survival, in many cases, means metamorphosis. Russell C. Andrade transformed St. Pete’s Iberian Rooster into Avo’s Kitchen, a celebration of his grandmother (“Avo” in Portuguese) with spice blends formulated from her restaurant in Tanzania. His father, you see, is a native of Goa, a region south of Mumbai on the west coast of India bordering on the Arabian Sea. However, it was a Portuguese colony for 450 years. So the new “authentic yet accessible” menu is a throwback to Andrade’s childhood. His mother and grandmother worked with the chef to assure that his family’s Goan roots and the flavors of his fond memories are all available in his fastcasual, counter service, build-your-own bowl themed restaurant. The spice blends we tasted build on typical curry spices (coriander, cumin, turmeric); you’ll have no problem tasting their South Indian influence. The potato-filled samosas are not particularly crisp and the filling is soft rather than chunky. There are a few green peas, as well, but ultimately this version is—surprisingly—a bit bland. More successful, for me, are the Goan patties. They are similar to empanadas; ours are stuffed with creamy sweet potato mash dotted with peas and corn. The pastry is flaky, but soft and delicate. The “mild” rooster wings are quite spicy for Western palates. My friends from the Indian subcontinent laugh at me, but I find too much

Boom Chicka Boomer fills the bowl with of a yogurt-based shake. We hoped to try the brown rice and crisp chickpeas plus ample coconut version, but when we order online it’s chunks of curry chicken salad in a sweet herb marked as unavailable. The website is easy to sauce with plenty of diced red onion. It’s another navigate and the prices are fair. We have to wait nice mix with lots to please your palate. just a bit on pickup, but that means our order is My favorite of our trio is Prawn Stars. fresh. It all stays hot in the individual takeout Perhaps I’m seduced by the yummy bread bowls neatly packed into big brown bags for easy bowl, which catches all transport. the juices. But the moist The disc-like bowls curried shrimp are just resemble recycled paper scrumptious surrounded UFOs with crystal clear Avo’s Kitchen at Iberian Rooster by cauliflower rice and tops. And as we try to pop 475 Central Ave., St. Pete chickpeas topped with them to access our meal, 727-258-8753; avoskitchen.com Appetizers (cravings) $3-$13; entrees tart and crunchy rings we need to use a dinner (bowls) $10-$16; no desserts; drinks $2-$4 knife to separate the tightof colorful pickled red onions, which add a lovely fitting parts. We laugh pink accent. The loaf is surrounded by mixed that these are child-proof containers. Actually, greens. I can’t resist tearing the empty bowl after having experienced takeout where the into pieces to enjoy the amalgam of flavors. It’s receptacles failed, we’re actually happy that it really got me Goan. takes some work. The meal is definitely worth There are no sweets on the menu, but Avo’s it—another triumph of experiencing world cuidoes feature a coffee bar and a trio of lassi, sort sine without the 9,000 mile journey.

SHRIMPLY THE BEST: Get seduced by ‘Prawn Stars’ yummy bread bowl, which catches all the juices, then stay for more.

cltampa.com | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | 25

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26 | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | cltampa.com

Birria me

Here’s what’s coming, leaving and happening in Tampa Bay’s food scene. By Jenna Rimensnyder and Alexandria Jones

elcome to this week’s roundup of food news. This go-round we have a few newbies, reopened rooftop bars, and exciting news of the McRib (p. 33) and Miracle at Mezzo’s returning to town. In the next few months, Tampa Bay will be swimming in food halls— The Joinery, NoHo Junction, On The Fly, Hall on Central, Central Park, Manhattan Casino—but it looks like we will be saying goodbye to Tampa Bay’s OG food hall, Hall on Franklin, which is scheduled to close its doors before the end of the year (p. 30). Look below for more openings and closings, then bookmark cltampa.com/ food to get updates in real time.

a new food and cocktail menu, alongside menu staples and seasonal offerings. 1207 S. Howard Ave., Tampa. epicureanhotel.com Taco Bus The original Tacos Bus location reopened on Monday after extensive renovations. “We’ve invested close to $250,000 on a new state-ofthe-art kitchen, ordering system, patio, and more!” stated Heather Chaudhry, Director of Marketing for Taco Bus in a release. “New booths and tables, flooring, and fresh paint have also been added to really make it shine." To celebrate, the Hillsborough location is offering 99-cent tacos the first week of reopening. 913 E. Hillsborough Ave., Tampa. taco-bus.com Vantage Rooftop Bar The rooftop bar offers both indoor and outdoor seating for guests. When it comes to eats, there’s a selection of grazing boards, freshly shucked oysters, burgers, alongside chef-inspired entrees. Upon opening, hours of operation for Vantage are set for 4 p.m.-9 p.m. Wed.-Thurs., 4 p.m.-10 p.m. Fri., 10 a.m.-11 p.m. Sat. and 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Sun. 2675 Ulmerton Rd., Clearwater. thekarolhotel.com

Openings Donovan’s Modern American Eatery The founders of Datz, Roger and Suzanne Perry, have launched a steakhouse.The menu is loaded with an array of steaks, chops, seafood, duck, wild game and also hosts space for vegetable-forward dishes. The Perrys have been itching to launch the concept for 15 years. The name itself pays homage to Roger’s father, Russell “Donovan” Perry, and, according to a release, the concept is inspired by Roger’s childhood growing up on a modest family farm in rural Ohio. 11206 Sullivan St., Riverview. donovansmeatery.com Florida Avenue Brewing Last month, the brewery opened its long-awaited location in Wesley Chapel. Its beer garden is equipped with plenty of Adirondack chairs and lounge furniture for drinks after work. What’s more is that Seminole Heights’ Brew Bus and Florida Avenue Brewing Co. will relocate to a new 3,000-sq. ft. space just a few addresses away from the old spot at 4315 N. Florida Ave. 2029 Arrowgrass Dr., Wesley Chapel. floridaavebrewing.com — Alexandria Jones Tacos Las Californias A food truck that bravely launched mid-pandemic is filling the need for quesabirria in Tampa Bay (if you’ve been on social media, it’s clear that birria is having a moment). Not only can foodies snag quesabirria tacos, but also birria ramen and other eats inspired by California cuisine. Owners hope to one day open a brick-and-mortar. 7007 N. Armenia Ave., Tampa. @tacoslascalifornias on Facebook Reopenings Edge Rooftop Lounge The lounge shut down on July 1 due to COVID-19 regulations and pandemic concerns. Edge is now back and operating every Friday and Saturday from 5 p.m.-midnight. Upon reopening, the lounge introduced

Coming soon Lingr on 6th St Initially slated for a fall opening, celebrity chef Jeffrey Jew and his team have decided to hold off on opening until 2021 due to COVID-19. The projected grand opening is scheduled for January, so it won’t be too much longer until we get a taste of what the “Top Chef” competitor has cooking in his Nordic and Asian-inspired restaurant. 400 6th St. S., St. Petersburg. lingrrestaurant.com Lucky Lizard Opening in the near future on Madeira Beach, the Lucky Lizard’s atmosphere will be a relaxing “beach chic” vibe with outdoor and indoor seating. Hosting two large outdoor seating bars with views of the sunset, the bar also plans to offer around 30 brews on tap, wine, bites and live music. 14953 Madeira Beach. @ luckylizardtaphouse on Facebook Muchachas Within the next few weeks Armature Works will welcome the new Mexicaninspired food stall. Stephanie Swanz, owner of Empamamas (fellow AW resident) is the mastermind behind the new joint set to offer birria quesatacos, street-style tacos, big ol’ burritos, street corn, and other Mexican-inspired dishes yet to be announced. 1910 N. Ola Ave., Tampa Heights. @hola.muchachas on Instagram Pin on Cafe Last week CL reported that Chiang Mai Thai permanently shut its doors in St. Petersburg’s Edge District. Signage has already gone up for its replacement, Asian fusion restaurant Pin on Cafe. Damn, that was quick.

COURTESY

OPENINGS & CLOSINGS

BAD DAY TO BE A BIRRIA: If you’ve been on social media, it’s clear that birria is having a moment. The menu is set to feature curry bowls, rice bowls, soups, sandos, lunch boxes as well as smoothies. 1100 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. pinwokandbowl.com Closings Ya Boy’s BBQ The concept started out as a food truck before opening its brick-and-mortar location at 1901 N. Howard Avenue in 2016. Sadly, it’s closing doors for good. The first mention of a closure came in September when owners said they were “closed until further notice,” but now it’s official. “Thank you all for all of your support throughout our journey. We couldn’t have done it without you,” The Ya Boy's boys wrote in a Facebook posted this week. Looking through the comments—where loyal customers share their well-wishes and excitement for the future—it’s clear that Ya Boy’s BBQ will be missed. Drown your sorrows in sauce elsewhere, family. — Alexandria Jones

ICYMI Miracle at Mezzo On Black Friday, a Christmas themed pop-up returns for its third year, but with a few COVID-19 tweaks. That includes distancing tables and seating, offering contactless payment, QR code menus, one-time use menus, outdoor seating, to-go cocktails, mask requirements for both staff and guests and sanitizer stations. 1111 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. intermezzo.co Pom Poms After six years, the restaurant’s coowner Thomas Woodard is handing ownership over to Mike Crippin and his wife Alison. “We both are very excited to bring our own personalities and exciting changes including new menu items, drinks and extended operating hours to growing Pom Pom’s into a favorite neighborhood hangout for many years to come, meeting new and regular patrons that will soon be our friends too,” said the new owners. 2950 Central Ave., St.

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RAY ROA

OH, HALL NO: The sweet sounds and flavors of Hall on Franklin are leaving the Heights.

Hauling ass

Hall on Franklin closing, moving to Midtown Tampa. By Colin Wolf and Chloe Greenberg

ampa’s Hall on Franklin won’t make it to 2021. Last week, Jamal Wilson, who opened The Hall on Franklin in Tampa Heights in 2017, told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that his Tampa Heights food hall is closing on Dec. 15. Wilson also told CL that he is moving forward with plans to open the Hall in Midtown Tampa, just three miles north on I-275. The restaurateur added that he’s got plans to move forward with a food hall at a new site in St. Petersburg. “As great as the original Franklin Street site was, there are certain things we were not able to do there, such as outside dining, adding a private dining room and other amenities that are especially important amid COVID-19,” Wilson told CL. In March, like many local restaurants, the Hall, located at 1701 N. Franklin St., temporarily closed to mitigate the spread of coronavirus. Over the summer— just weeks before the food hall eventually reopened in June—The Hall on Franklin faced eviction when it was served with a lawsuit. In the suit, A2 LLC, which owns the historic Farris Building that is home to the Hall (and CL’s offices and event space on the second floor), filed court documents saying A2 terminated a lease held by Vigor Group LLC on May 16. The lawsuit alleged that Vigor Group—controlled by Wilson—defaulted on its lease after failing to pay April and May rent. “A2 is seeking $47,486.57 in back rent...,” Tampa Bay Business Journal wrote about the action. But by mid-October, Wilson announced plans to open a Hall concept within a 17,323-squarefoot space in Atlanta. The project joined two other Wilson projects, including the Hall at

Midtown Tampa and a still-under-construction food hall in Orlando. Located at the end of Midtown Drive, below The Loft and visible from the Himes Avenue entrance, the 8,000-square-foot site will be the largest food and beverage establishment at Midtown Tampa, housing more than 300 seats and a 1,200-square-foot outdoor patio. As for the food, each eatery within the hall is set to represent an individual dining concept and a curated menu of items that “can be mixed and matched to suit any craving,” a press release reads. Restaurant concepts will be announced closer to the hall’s opening. “Our philosophy has always been to create a level of inclusiveness that has never been seen in Tampa,” Wilson said. “Our group of owners all come from different walks of life, races and orientations, and we have different views on food. That is reflected in the guests that come through our space, and now we want to create a space at Midtown for people of all walks of life.” Developed by Bromley Companies, Midtown has also announced a Shake Shack, BellaBrava, New World Trattoria, Burtons Grill & Bar, True Food Kitchen, Joffrey’s Coffee Tea Cafe and a new restaurant by chef Chris Ponte. The Hall at Midtown will act as an onsite amenity space for tenants of Midtown Tampa’s first two office buildings, The Loft and Midtown One. The loss of Hall on Franklin is significant since it was the first food hall concept in Tampa Bay. Over the years, the Hall hosted some of the area’s most notable restaurants, including the sincerelocated Bake ‘N Babes (with its Lizzo-approved Freak Shake), and local favorite North Star.

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32 | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | cltampa.com

Ribbed for your pleasure Local reaction to the return of a cult favorite. By Nina Rangel and Ray Roa

ou read that right: McDonalds’ cult favorite McRib sandwich is back. Somehow, it keeps coming back. This fall, the McRib— so named even though it contains no actual ribs—will make its first appearance in roughly a decade. And, as per previous reintroductions, the return will likely be met by fanatical squeals from fast-food aficionados across the nation. “The McRib has been a beloved menu item at McDonald’s since its inception nearly 40 years ago,” Linda VanGosen, Mickey D’s vice president of menu innovation, said in a statement. “There’s nothing quite like the taste of the McRib.” Critics might argue that McRib virgins can get an idea of that taste by sinking their teeth into a yoga mat. However, lovers of the saucy, processed-meat sando will certainly beg to differ. Though it’s advertised as containing “seasoned boneless pork slathered in smoky, tangy barbecue sauce, topped with slivered onions and tart pickles,” the 500-calorie sandwich contains more than 70 ingredients—assuming its composition hasn’t changed since it was last served up in 2011. The ingredients in that iteration include azodicarbonamide, a flourbleaching agent used in the production of foamed plastics such as yoga mats and the soles of shoes. Yummy.

“Typically bad decisions cost way more than $1.99 and take longer to realize the mistake. Someone post a coupon please.”—J. Overman “It’s a nice change of pace from my normal Filet-o-Fish and apple pie order. Edible bones for the win.”—T. Herbort “Just like mom used to make.”—A.M. Stracey “It’s really an impressive feat of science. Not until very recently in human history could we so thoroughly obliterate animal parts and then reconstitute them back into something that resembles animal parts.”—C. Sturdivant “Because our savior and the greatest president of all time, Donald J. Trump, threatened to shut down McDonald’s forever if they didn’t roll it out nationally again, so even though it’s not my favorite sandwich ever, I must consume as many as possible in order to not fail our glorious leader.”—E. Mayo “Because I love knowing what Republican sadness tastes like.”—A. Dieudonne

“I haven’t had a McRib since was about 9 years old, but man I was addicted to them. When I was a kid I loved going to work with my father because his office was on the Pinellas Trail, and there was a McDonalds across the street. I could play outside all around the area and I’d go ask dad and his secretary for a couple of dollars, and I would always get a McRib. I don’t really remember now what they taste like and I find the whole idea of thing very unattractive, but man 9-year-old Nate was in heaven with those things.”—N. Najar “I love the McRib because it tastes like that one time I took four Xanax bars and accidentally woke up at a BBQ competition working for the winning pit.”—F. Villa “It’s feels better than the other McDonald’s sandwiches when rubbed all over your body.”— J. Bardi “A steady diet of McRibs gave Thomas Peterson the only case of recorded dysentery since the Oregon Trail. So that’s neat.” —R. Fouche “Hey Ryan, they double as a floatation device when you’re crossing the Big Blue River.”—J. York “It might be the closest thing

McDonald’s has to a vegan meat substitute.”— O. Mince “Because it looks like something that Publix would make if Publix was extremely hungover.”—M. Maudlin “Great for insulation/noise reduction.”—C. Wilson “I eat four a day. Just the grissly texture. The mixture of processed onions , pickles and sauce do it for me.”— T. Swank “As much trash as I eat, I’ve never seen the allure of the McRib. I’ve always called it the McRubber.”—K. Ulrey “I never understood why they have the bone shapes. On real ribs you don’t eat the bones! Puzzling!”—J. Popp “Those are supposed to be bones? I always thought they were tire tracks.”—D. Brady Somewhat on topic: I was never prouder of [chef, Baker] Greg, than when we were served a cease & desist by McDonald’s for putting a McRib on The Refinery menu.—M. Baker “The Memories, textures and flavors that it evokes. Like going to a pig picking and getting the best bits (belly and bark, naturally), then pulverizing them along with a cellulose dish sponge. Add to that the subtle, sanctimonious, tangy ness of Chick-fil-A’s hate sauce mixed with store brand sweet and sour sauce and pile it all on a bun that is simultaneously squishy and stale and you get a metaphorical glimpse of my life as a latchkey kid. Or so my therapist says.”—G. Baker “The painted on grill marks make me feel secure as a man.”— A. Boehm

FAST FOOD

M CD ON

The fast food giant will bring back the menu item to all 14,400 of its U.S. restaurants starting Dec. 2. If you’re a fan, get ready to stock up. If you’re a local, see what some of your neighbors are saying in this local ribbing of the rollout where folks say why they love the sando. ••• “I love when the McRib is back because it lets me know which of my friends make poor life choices.”—D. Cura D’

“I love that it aligns with my vegan values.”— C. Jane

JOE, BITE IN: The McRib is back to unify a nation.

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MOVIES

THEATER

ART

CULTURE

Take a dip

Psychic Jacuzzi comes offline for house gallery shows. By SK West

VISUAL ART

“I see the maker as a kind of alchemist who has a vision of the future.”

COURTESY

he clairvoyant, digital hot tub known as has its own fun connotations. I like the idea of Psychic Jacuzzi was founded in 2016 by sinking into something.” Matthew Wicks, an artist and Visiting The logo is a Tide-dye (sorry) swirl of color Professor of Art at the University of South which connects to Psychic Jacuzzi’s celebraFlorida. Its platform, an Instagram account (@ tion of color in any form. The account welcomes psychicjacuzzi), features emerging artists from colorful work, conceptual work, and material around the world. Artists are given a week to work. Over the last few “seasons” or threeprune up in the Jacuzzi; they post a minimum month periods of how far Wicks schedules out, three times a day for seven days to share their there has been more of a focus to feature artinspirations, process, finished works, and more ists whose work feels relevant and is engaging while getting aquainted (sorry) with other art- with timely issues. ists and followers. “When Psychic Jacuzzi first started, I had Wicks, an artist whose practice has evolved maybe one artist apply each week,” Wicks said. over the years to include elements of craft and “Now it’s about 25 or 30 artists per week.” Being mixed media, started the introduced to so many artists account as a way to showcase from all over the world, and emerging artists who work from so many backgrounds with sculpture, ceramics, or and mediums, helps keep fibers. “When I graduated, I Wicks sharp as an adjunct Psychic Jacuzzi: saw this huge boom in mixedfaculty member—it also helps ‘tight as leather’ media sculpture where I was elevate the Instagram account Nov. 14, 6 p.m.-10 p.m. starting to see these works in a kind of ripple effect. Social distancing and masks required featured at Art Basel and “When one artist gets parallelogramgallery.com museum shows,” Wicks said. featured, their friends and “I have always been intrigued by these materials colleagues get introduced to the account and all [fiber, glass, sculpture] because they have their the artists on it, and vice versa. It really becomes own traditions, histories, and rules.” a chance for artists to tag other accounts and The name of the account has a two-fold mean- connect with artists,” he said. ing. “I see the emerging artist as a metaphor for “Most of the rejected applicants are just mispsychic,” Wicks explains, “It might sound hokey, interpretations of the word ‘emerging,’” Wicks but I see the maker as a kind of alchemist who laughs. “We’re looking for artists who have good, has a vision of the future with the abilities to relevant work and who can navigate being active create the world they want to see. Emerging art- on social media for seven days in a row. There’s ists are the future of the art a lot of trust with that—the world, so I’m always wanting jacuzzi doesn’t work if you’re to see how they break the not working it.” rules and push their work Sort of like how USF forward.” art professors saw the need This approach to manfor a space to show work for aging the Jacuzzi bubbles emerging artists and thus into his teaching methods, transformed their garages too. “I talk with my students all the time about into gallery space, Wicks sees the platform of creating their own world, I think that’s impor- Psychic Jacuzzi as a chance for MFA students tant to plant that idea and power in an artist’s in programs around the country and world to head,” Wicks said. mingle with each other. “The grad students in As for how Jacuzzi came into play? “It’s the jacuzzi are doing a phenomenal job because something that’s a little romantic and a little they really know how to work social media,” he disgusting; people can hang out together in their said. Over the thousands of posts and hundreds own space. The issue is that there isn’t a jacuzzi of artists featured, Wicks notes one theme that emoji so instead we have to use a bathtub, which every artist wants to showcase: their studio space.

WICCAN WICK: Matthew Wicks’ online gallery and showcase is coming offline for an IRL art show. “The idea of a personal studio space is interesting and almost sacred, especially for recent graduate students who have gone from the shared bubble of art school to now working in their basement alone.” Wicks observes, “It also ties back to the idea of the artist as alchemist: the studio is where the magic combusts, where the idea fails, where the 2 a.m. breakdown happens.” Out of more than 200 submissions, Psychic Jacuzzi is manifesting as two in-real-life exhibitions held at Parallelogram Gallery in Tampa. The two-part series, collectively titled “tight as leather / swift as sword” will feature a total of

29 artists working in photography, painting, drawing, printmaking, sculpture and video. It opens on Nov. 14. “This show title references what we were looking for in this exhibition [lightweight works],” Wicks explains, “And is a twist on the phrasing ‘light as a feather, stiff as a board.’” The chosen artists come from our beloved Bay area, state of Florida, national and international backgrounds. Be sure to seas the day (sorry) and check out both shows. If you’re not already following Psychic Jacuzzi on Instagram, water you wading for? (sorry and sorry)

cltampa.com | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | 35

Carle van Loo, Apollo and the Cumaen Sibyl (detail), 1755, Museum purchase with funds donated by the Stuart Society

36 | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | cltampa.com

Stream screams

New releases ready to scare you at home. By John Allman

Kindred 3 star(s), 101 minutes, Streaming “Kindred” is the perfect throwback to the good old days of gothic Hammer Horror. Director/cowriter Joe Marcantonio’s thriller focuses on a mixed-race couple, Charlotte (Tamara Lawrence) and Ben (Edward Holcroft), who plan to leave the United Kingdom for a fresh start in Australia, much to the chagrin of Ben’s overbearing aristocratic mother, Margaret (Fiona Shaw) and her stepson, Thomas, whom Ben refuses to recognize as family. When Charlotte experiences an unimaginable tragedy shortly after learning she’s pregnant, Margaret and Thomas essentially take over her life. Marcantonio expertly leans into the disparity between Margaret’s wealth and Charlotte’s working-class immigrant roots, and allows his audience to feel the despair and fear slowly ratchet within Charlotte as she realizes her new caregivers may be helping her to lose touch with reality. The Misadventures of Mistress Maneater 3 star(s), 111 minutes, Amazon Prime A throwback to the days when movie fans would spend hours wandering the local Blockbuster looking for a title they had never seen before, “The Misadventures of Mistress Maneater” owes a debt of gratitude to every direct-to-VHS title from the 1980s that proudly featured a strong female character running circles around her clueless male colleagues and adversaries. Written by Lorrisa Julianus, who plays dominatrix Ava Moriarty, and directed by her husband, C.J. Julianus, “Mistress Maneater” is a solid first feature that spotlights ample room for creative growth. It’s a beguiling film that manages to artfully dance around its more provocative elements (although a little more focus on Moriarty’s BDSM proclivities would have been welcome) and recovers quickly whenever the script hits a lull. While the acting is a little uneven, there are moments throughout that ring true, none more so than when Ava finishes up with a client and stands in a hotel hallway, shedding her

thigh-high boots, before getting into a packed elevator full of judgmental stares. If you’ve ever been to FetishCon, Tampa Bay’s annual ode to debauchery, that happens at least 50 times a day. “The Misadventures of Mistress Maneater” isn’t a perfect movie, but it deserves to be championed because it’s clear that Lorrisa and C.J. both have talent, and I’m excited to see what they do next. They Reach 3 star(s), 87 minutes, Streaming Sylas Dall’s ambitious debut, “They Reach,” feels like a long-lost Amblin Entertainment release. Set in 1979, this period creature feature is part “Gremlins,” part “Stand by Me,” and owes a debt to cult classics like “The Gate.” Not every creative decision works, but Dall’s young cast is impressive and who doesn’t love a good campfire story about the (very real) monsters under the bed? Compulsion 2.5 star(s), 71 minutes, Streaming This Spanish thriller, originally released in 2017 in Germany, follows a young woman with an overly private boyfriend whom she suspects is cheating on her. The reality is much worse. It’s bloody, brutal and briskly paced at barely more than an hour long, but “Compulsion” feels overly familiar and lacks a defining moment to distinguish itself within the serial killer/women in peril genres.

Writer’s Block 2 star(s), 97 minutes, Streaming Writing/directing duo Jeff Kerr and Ray Spivey’s first feature, “Writer’s Block,” has a made-forTV feel. What I mean, basically, is that their story could easily be the premise of an hour-long detective serial, instead of a 90-plus-minute movie. Author Skip Larson (Craig Nigh) is still living off the high of a successful first novel, while his personal life falls apart due to alcohol. Then he receives an invitation from acclaimed novelist, Chester Everett McGraw (Mike Gassaway), who wants Skip to move onto his spacious secluded ranch property and help Chester finish a sequel to one of his most famous books. The cool thing about “Writer’s Block” is that it perfectly captures the tribulations that struggling wordsmiths encounter when inspiration is fleeting. The redundant thing about “Writer’s Block” is that the movie is basically the umpteenth variation of “The Most Dangerous Game,” with Chester essentially conning Skip and others before him so that he can steal their work, kill them and get all the credit.

movie that fails spectacularly on every level. It was written by Kurt Wimmer, who mangled the recent remakes of both “Total Recall” and “Point Break,” and who hasn’t been attached to a good guilty pleasure since 2006’s wacky mindfuck “Ultraviolet.” But the problems with “Spell” go beyond Wimmer’s lethargic script. This is a movie about a high-profile black attorney, Marquis (Omari Hardwick, “Power”), who is rich enough to own his own plane, who grew up in rural Appalachia and was raised by an estranged father who practiced homegrown hoodoo. Instead of focusing on Marquis’ conflicted relationship with magic, and introducing viewers to a rarely seen world through his eyes, “Spell” just embraces every tired trope imaginable. Instead of explaining anything to its audience, “Spell” just trots out hoodoo dolls, bizarre incantations and a bunch of blood moon ritual mumbo jumbo without providing any context.

FILM & TV

Spell 1 star(s), 91 minutes, Streaming It makes sense why “Spell” is just a huge mess of a

Triggered 1 star(s), 94 minutes, Streaming A group of high school classmates reunite years later for a camping trip. Following a night of hard partying, the group wakes up to discover that one of their high school teachers has strapped each of them into a suicide vest laden with explosives. Each vest has a counter, and some counters have more time than others. Only one person can survive, which means the assortment of stereotypical characters must either bargain with or just kill one another to essentially steal everyone else’s time before they too explode. Trust me, this synopsis is way better than the actual movie, which wastes almost an hour without any of the annoying characters blowing up.

BINARY STAR PICTURES

n case you missed it, Florida’s daily coronavirus infections and positivity rates have been steadily increasing, and according to state data just under one in every 24 people in Florida has tested positive for the virus. We could get deeper into the numbers (an average 49.7 new deaths each day, a declining positivity rate of 7.6% that is still above a World Health Organization recommended positivity rate of 5% or below), but the fact is that it’s a little scary to head into movie theaters. That said, here are some movies ready to scare you at home right now.

Welcome to the Circle 2 star(s), 93 minutes, Streaming and Blu-Ray Movies about cults often tend to be fantastic (see “Martha Marcy May Marlene”) or interminable (see “The Other Lamb”). This one has unexpected elements (parallel dimensions, creepy mannequin people), but it never gets batshit crazy enough to truly capture your attention.

WHIP IT, GOOD: Ava Moriarty (Lorrisa Julianus, left) is a dominatrix in ‘Maneater.’

cltampa.com | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | 37

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Can I kick it? By Colin Wolf

n impressive Bayshore mansion once owned by a local judge and state senator is now for sale in South Tampa. Built in 1986 by Paul Revere Kickliter and his wife Lucille, the home is located at 4605 Bayshore Blvd., and is currently owned by Cord Christensen and Katie Turner, both of whom are executives for pet health company PetIQ. The 5,304-square-foot home 5-bedrooms and 5-bathrooms, as well as wide plank walnut flooring, a whole house generator, a pool and spa and great views of Hillsborough Bay.

According to the Tampa Bay Times, Kickliter represented Hillsborough County in the Florida state Senate from 1954-1958. In the 1955-56 legislative session, Kickliter was instrumental in establishing the University of South Florida, offering to donate 1,000 acres to the school, and was also involved in extending State Road 581 built out to USF. Kickliter died in 2005 at the age of 85. The home is currently asking $4,150,000 and the listing agent is Sarah Weaver with Smith & Associates.. See inside the home via photos. cltampa.com.

HOMES

JUDSON BRADY/PHOTO STUDIO SOLUTIONS

South Tampa’s ‘Kickliter House’ on Bayshore is now on the market.

KICKOFF: Kickliter was instrumental in establishing the University of South Florida

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MUSIC NEWS REVIEWS PROFILES MUSIC WEEK

Mess with the Bull

Tampa nightclub criticized for hosting packed concert by country singer Tyler Farr. By Ray Roa

Live music venues and nightclubs have undoubtedly been pushed to the brink of extinction due to COVID-19. The loss of any venue is a huge loss for the local music scene. Locally, live music institution Skipper’s Smokehouse closed after 40 years, citing COVID-19 as the nail in the coffin. The National Independent Venue Association (NIVA), which now has almost 3,000 members, is lobbying in D.C. and hoping lawmakers sign off on the RESTART Act and the Save Our

CHRIS RODRIGUEZ

n Friday, Nov. 6—the same day Florida added 5,245 coronavirus cases and 54 deaths— Tampa country music club Dallas Bull posted a since-deleted picture of a packed house taking in a concert by country singer Tyler Farr. Other social media users screen-shotted, then circulated a different since-deleted picture from a local music photographer showing mask-less dozens standing shoulder to shoulder. Another Instagram video from the show confirms the packed conditions (see all the photos via cltampa.com/music). In July, after the Bull said it was in “dire need” of help to stay alive, assistant manager Jose Romero told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that the 31,000 square-foot club—which can pack in more than 2,100 on a busy night—was hosting a maximum of 50 people on the nights that it was open under tighter restrictions. In September, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis moved to phase three of reopening, rolling back almost every measure the state enacted to combat the spread of the coronavirus. The executive order did not address fines incurred by businesses, but it did suspend fees and penalties for individuals who violate COVID-19 restrictions, effectively removing local enforcement mechanisms that require masks when inside public areas. Hillsborough County, where Dallas Bull is located, requires wearing face coverings when people are inside businesses when six-foot social distancing isn’t possible. On Sunday night, CL reached out to Romero from the Bull and a rep for Tyler Farr for any comment on the crowd. Dallas Bull’s photo from the concert was taken down shortly afterwards. On Monday afternoon, Todd Pratt, Media Relations and Communications & Digital Media at the county told CL that Hillsborough County Code Enforcement is aware of the complaints about recent overcrowding at the Dallas Bull. “A Regulatory Compliance officer has gone to the business and talked to management to educate them about the business’s responsibilities governing social distancing and face coverings,” Pratt wrote. In Hillsborough, the Regulatory Compliance officer does have the ability to cite the business; a violation carries a $165 fine. Pratt told CL that no such citation has currently been issued to Dallas Bull.

together in close proximity in a normal social type environment where there might be touching a lot of talking... intimacy, all those kinds of things I think are the things that are becoming the real way the virus spreads around.” Dr. Jaimie Meyer, a Yale Medicine infectious disease specialist, recently wrote that, “Until an effective vaccine against COVID19 is available, we have to continue to do the hard, albeit tedious, work of keeping ourselves safe and healthy—by wearing facial coverings, keeping our social distance, practicing good hand hygiene, and staying home when we’re sick.” Online, commenters noted how large events like the Tyler Farr concert hurt the local music scene in the long run. Others were saddened and embarrassed by the actions of community members.

SO FAR AWAY: Aaron Lewis plays Dallas Bull in Tampa, Florida on February 10, 2017. Stages Act. Last month, Pollstar wrote that the Save Our Stages Act had just secured its 200th cosponsor. Locally, most venues and bars—especially those with an eye on the health of the community—have experimented with limited-capacity concerts. But health experts say large gatherings contribute to the spread of coronavirus. In July, Tampa ER physician Dr. Jason Wilson told the Hillsborough Emergency Policy Group that the known science of coronavirus “is really starting to coalesce around the idea of us being

“It’s so nice being reminded, almost daily, that an embarrassingly large amount of people in the community you live in don’t give a shit about helping slow the spread of a highly infectious, spiking virus during a global pandemic,” one commenter wrote. “They won’t even bother to take the most basic safety precautions for the greater good. Rampant selfishness and apathy.” “These are the people who bring disease to other family members who then get sick and die, and these people still wouldn’t care,” wrote another. “Wouldn’t acknowledge they just hurt

their own family, wouldn’t change their behavior if given another chance. They are fucking trash.” Clay Parkinson, a manager at New World Brewery—a Tampa venue and restaurant that’s hosted limited capacity shows at its outdoor stage and inside listening room—was astounded. “What a shit show, numbers are on the rise and while many of us are trying to keep it safe there are bars like this that just do not care at all,” he wrote on social media. “Over 230,000 people are dead because of this virus that an astounding amount of people refuse to take seriously. We will see more deaths that will be called ‘fake’ and if we do shut down again (like many countries and other cities around the nation are) the same people that call it fake will bitch about having their ‘freedom’ taken away because of an attempt to prevent more deaths,” Parkinson added. “Dallas bull has a capacity of over 2,000 and it looks like they got damn close to that if not hit it. That’s now nearly 2,000 people who will go back about their lives not knowing if they contracted the virus last night, not knowing who they might pass it along to that it would kill. This insane display of selfishness is disgusting.” Still, one person saw “Free people, living their lives and creating antibodies” and a “naturalistic alternative to vaccines.” It’s important to note that the herd immunity method pitched in Sweden has been questionable at best. In its early stages of infection, coronavirus, which causes COVID-19, is largely undetectable. Symptoms can take anywhere from two days to two weeks to appear. Some critics of strict social-distancing mandates say COVID-19 is just like the flu; that is false. Dr. Mauro Giacca, from King’s College London, told the BBC that people can have “complete regeneration” of the lungs after severe flu, but added “this does not happen” with COVID-19. Patients who eventually die from COVID-19 often do so while on a ventilator. Survivors often see scarring on their lungs; the long-term effects of COVID-19 are still unknown. The U.S. has seen 10 million cases of coronavirus in 2020, along with more than 239,000 deaths. In Florida, there’ve been more than 843,000 cases and 17,000 deaths. On Saturday, the Tampa Bay Times wrote that 560 people were currently hospitalized across the Bay. The Times added that Florida’s average weekly positivity rate is about 7%, according to Johns Hopkins University, making the Sunshine State one of 35 states that does not meet the World Health Organization recommendation for a 5% positivity rate or below.

cltampa.com | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | 41

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THU NOVEMBER 12–WED NOVEMBER 18 By Stephanie Powers

CL recommends

FRI 13 C Achilles w/Beerwolf It’s been a year since musician Achilles released his latest album Marauder—which takes a sharp pivot from his usual rap-inspired creations—but he will perform the hard-rock rager live for the first time Friday. Sharing the bill is Beerwolf, bringing its dazed and confused psychedelic rock. Ear plugs are definitely recommended, this is going to be a loud show. If you feel uncomfortable getting out, you can also livestream the show through Tampa Sessions. Tickets are limited to 100 people to allow for social distancing, so get on it. If you go, make sure you’re on your best behavior; you don’t want to piss venue co-founder and owner Tom DeGeorge off, he’s had a rough year. (Crowbar, Ybor City)

SAT 14 C The New Brutarians w/Dave Reeder/ Proud Miranda St. Pete duo The New Brutarians is hitting the new New World outside stage for the venue’s Saturday BBQustic series. The rock will be unplugged and made to enjoy at a safe distance from people you don’t live with. Even if you haven’t heard the ‘60s glam-rock influenced band yet— the group just formed in 2018—you’ve most definitely seen frontman Adam Turkel’s gig poster art. He’s done gorgeous pieces for shows like Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, Peter Murphy and Dick Dale. Some of that artwork will be for sale Saturday along with the lo-fi band’s newly released vinyl. Car Bomb Dave (aka Dave Reeder), frontman of Tampa icons Car Bomb Driver, and Proud Miranda (pictured) are also on the bill. The series is presented by New Belgium Brewing, so there will be plenty of Fat Tire to cool off your meat sweats at the no-cover show. (New World Brewery, Tampa) C The Holy Terror Tampa’s The Holy Terror will be hitting the outside stage of Tampa Heights’ Shuffle, with tons of socially-distanced seating. “We’ll be playing a good portion of stuff from our new album, HT2: L’atrocite du Jour, some older stuff, and a brand new song called ‘Piety’ that plays around with a Latin/gypsy jazz feel,” the band’s mastermind and musical anomaly John Nowicki said in a recent chat with Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. If you are not a Francophile, the album name translates to ‘today’s atrocity’ referring to 2020 as a whole and is described on Holy Terror’s Bandcamp page as “ ...a collection of songs that attempts to portray the experience of watching inner and outer worlds collapse.” So yeah, we can relate. There are a couple of pandemicinduced lineup changes-keyboard player

Troy Cedeno is temporarily sitting out. “Sean Pomeroy is playing bass, and Owen Meats, who used to play bass, has rejoined as a third guitarist,” Nowicki added, “I’m also switching from acoustic to electric guitar to keep up with everybody, so there will be a small army of electric guitarists onstage.” Musicians Scott Lavan Miller, Pete Nuffer, Kenny Pullin and Melissa Grady round out the all-star cast. Consider this description your cheat sheet for the no-cover show. (Shuffle, Tampa) Discord Theory w/Hollyglen Crowbar’s been one of the safe places to wade back into live music, and the Ybor City venue is at it again this weekend when progressive rock band Discord Theory and pop-punk act Hollyglen take the stage. For safety, the crowd will be capped at 100 guests and people are encouraged to buy tickets in advance. Temperatures will be checked at the door, and attendees should stay seated at their table or stand in one of the few socially-distanced standing areas. Masks are required when guests aren’t seated. The concert comes at a time when Florida just added 6,257 positive COVID-19 cases to its total count, the highest single-day number since Aug. 15. After music venues shut down in the spring, many owners struggled to pay rent and feared they wouldn’t be able to stay open much longer without shows. Crowbar reopened for shows in early October, and has been relying on mostly local acts to keep its doors open. Food will be for sale from This Little Pig and the event will be live streamed courtesy of Tampa Sessions. (Crowbar, Ybor City) —Nora O’Neill

home and therefore involved fewer musicians. And this is why Symphony TBS has chosen to play in this arrangement—to pay tribute— except these days there are less musicians performing on stage because of the whole social distancing issue. Sunday’s show will have four movements, each one focusing on a different composer’s piece written for a section of instruments, i.e. Antonin Dvorak‘s “Serenade for Winds, Opus 44.” Still doesn’t make sense? Does anything make sense anymore? Just go, and enjoy some music outside of your own chamber. This is the first show of the Tampa Bay Symphony’s season. The next series are in February and April 2021, and according to its season brochure Tampa Bay Symphony hopes to get back to having the usual 80-plus ensemble by then. Just 25% of the Hough Hall’s 831 available seats will be made available for this one. (Hough Hall at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg)

Betty Fox Blues singer Betty Fox can replace your usually scheduled “60 Minutes” Sunday night wind down, when she performs for the “At the Detroit “series at Club 201 aka the place next to Jannus Landing. The multiple Best of the Bay winner is ending the weekend with a solo gig at the steampunk-themed cocktail bar. Fox has been performing since before kindergarten, and has opened for many a legend including the queen Mavis Staples. Pregaming happy hour starts at 5 p.m and lasts up until her showtime at 8 p.m. The revamped venue also has a good-looking menu and CDB drinks if you’d rather nosh and chill rather than rage. If this weekend is too packed for you, she’ll be there next Sunday as well. Same time, same place. (Club 201 at The Detroit, St. Petersburg) See more live music previews and music news via cltampa.com/music.

Chew w/Highway Advisory Radio Atlanta band Chew (stylized “CHEW” and not to be confused with Chicago band “C.H.E.W.”)— which is no stranger to Tampa Bay—is playing a free show in Seminole Heights this Saturday. The trio, which released its EP Darque Tan in June of this year, will be playing at Mermaid Tavern; the show will begin at “11ishishish,” according to the Facebook event page. The band specializes in creating “fuzz-laden psych,” with elements of prog and acid rock. Darque Tan includes the track “Trucker Jesus,” whose music video was as distorted and dreamlike as the song itself. Highway Advisory Radio will kick the night off with a mix of jazz, sludge, and funk. Those who wear a mask to the free show will be eligible for a prize (yeah, we’re at the point in society where we have to be bribed to wear masks). (Mermaid Tavern, Tampa) —Thomas Holton

SUN 15 C Tampa Bay Symphony Bust out your classy mask to see the Tampa Bay Symphony perform “Chamber Delights: Dvorak, Barber & Grieg” at the Palladium Theater’s Hough Hall. If you are not familiar with chamber music, think of a high-end classical house party. Shows were usually played in someone’s

Proud Miranda

cltampa.com | NOVEMBER 12-18, 2020 | 43

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Four play By Dan Savage

Why are threesomes much more accepted in the popular imagination than foursomes? I was just Googling “finding foursomes,” and the first result is an article about threesomes that takes for granted that people are looking for MFF. That is a form of heteronormativity, right? I am not judging threesomes, of course, but asking why foursomes are perceived as more taboo. Would be interested in knowing more about what you think about this or if you have any resource to recommend as I am approaching this now with my partner for the first time. —Willing To Foursome PS: Love what you do with your work.

their sexual fantasies without being shamed, just like everyone else, so long as they’re realizing them with consenting adult partners. And while straight guys have historically done most of the judging and shaming of non-straight/non-guys over the entire course of human history, the corrective isn’t to heap shame on straight guys with off-the-rack sexual fantasies. It’s to demand that no one should be shamed for their sexual fantasies and we demonstrate our commitment to that principle by not shaming anyone—not even straight guys—who seek to realize their sexual fantasies with other consenting adults. And finally, WTF, there is one place where foursomes are far less taboo and could even described as standard: the organized and mostly straight and often supremely heteronormative swingers’ scene. If you and your partner are of the opposite sex and are interested in or willing to settle for strictly heterosexual sex where men are concerned, you might find more luck arranging foursomes at swingers’ parties—once those parties are possible again—than on dating apps.

SAVAGE LOVE

Where do I go from here? My parents voted for Trump in 2016 and again in 2020. I’m a lesbian. My partner and I have been together for nearly 20 years. My parents have always been supportive, we have a great relationship. But I can’t reconcile their vote for this piece of trash. They’re not even prolife or religious. I genuinely don’t understand. —What The Fuck Do I Do Now? My dad voted for George W. Bush in 2004. Bush’s campaign was pushing anti-gay marriage ballot initiatives across the country in the hopes that bigots would turn out in huge numbers and put his incompetent ass back in the White House. The fact that the then-president of the United States—the worst one we thought we’d see in our lifetimes—was waging a demagogic campaign against one of his own children didn’t stop my dad from voting for him. For a second time. I didn’t stop talking to my father.

around before the next election if you demand answers from them now. I’d like to think I am pretty open and understanding to a lot of things. I met a hot guy at my job who says he has a fetish for ass. In a sexting session, I learned he was not only obsessed with my ass, but me playing with his too. He later revealed there was only one other woman he felt comfortable sharing his gay fantasies. Everything involved ass play, sucking dildos or DP. (Eyebrow raised.) I asked him if he was curious about gay sex and he said no. In no way does he want a man, he said, and everything he wanted done to him he wanted a woman to do. We’ve had several sexting sessions and it always shifts to me dominating him or a gay sex fantasy. I really want to be open but he is making this very hard. —Questioning Unusual Exceptionally Erotic Relationship This would be easier if you were clear—clear with yourself—about what you want and what’s possible. If you want a long-term relationship that doesn’t revolve around ass play and you couldn’t possibly enjoy a casual sexual adventure with a hot guy who isn’t a good potential long-term partner… then you should stop sexting with him. But if you’re up for a crazy, ass-centered sexual adventure with a hot guy that won’t lead to anything serious or long-term… then get yourself a strap-on dildo and order this not gay guy to get on his not gay knees and suck your not gay dick. I suspect you feel tense after sexting with this guy because you’re left thinking, “My God, what am I signing up for here?” The animating assumption being that “going there” means getting stuck there. But if you told yourself you were only signing up for a crazy night or a crazy weekend instead with this assobsessed dude and not a lifetime with him, you would most likely feel a lot less nervous about this connection. In other words, QUEER, being open to playing with this guy doesn’t mean you have to be open to dating him, much less marrying him. But, again, if having a sexual adventure with someone who isn’t a potential long-term partner isn’t something you could see yourself doing and enjoying, QUEER, stop responding to this guy’s sext messages. JOE NEWTON

I don’t think the popular imagination has conspired against foursomes or that foursomes are really that much more taboo than threesomes, WTF. Rather, I think threesomes are easier to arrange than foursomes and the popular imagination reflects that fact. Think about it: Finding two people who wanna fuck each other is hard. Finding three people who all wanna fuck each other—Person A wants to fuck Person B and Person C, Person B wants to fuck Person A and Person C, Person C wants to fuck Person A and Person B—is harder still. Adding a Person D to the mix makes the wannafuckmath infinitely more complicated. Which is not to say everybody fucks everybody during a threesome, of course, but at the very least everyone involved has to at least be OK with fucking in very close proximity to everyone else involved. And while complicated to arrange and often emotionally tricky, WTF, threesomes aren’t really that taboo. According to research into sexual fantasies done by Dr. Justin Lehmiller, it’s the single most common sexual fantasy. More than 90% of men and nearly 90% of women fantasize about having a threesome, according to Dr. Lehmiller’s research; according to other research, roughly one-in-five people have actually participated in at least one threesome. (Full discloser/cumblebrag: I lost my virginity in a MMF threesome.) Threesomes are heteronormative by design, e.g. they were arranged to fulfill a straight man’s standard-issue MFF fantasy, but judging from my mail just as many MFF threesomes are arranged to fulfill the same-sex desires of often-but-not-always-newly-out bisexual women who already have husbands or boyfriends—less heteronormative and more bisupportive/biexplorative. (My mail isn’t scientific evidence, I realize, but it’s what I’ve got.) And for the record I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a heteronormative threesome. Straight guys should be allowed to have and be allowed to realize

While I believe we have to confront family members about their bigotries and that there have to be social consequences when people vote for racism and fascism and oligarchy and corruption and disease and death, WTFDIDN, I don’t think cutting off contact with non-toxic/ non-QAnon parents or family members is the answer. Where there’s evidence of cognitive dissonance—and a family member voting for someone seeking to harm people they love is certainly evidence of cognitive dissonance— there’s also an opportunity. So I would urge you to express your displeasure to your parents and demand better from them and to keep bringing it up. While text messages from strangers and robocalls often fail to move people, appeals to conscience—sometimes angry ones—from family members often work. I’ve heard from a lot of people over the last few months whose parents voted for Trump in 2016 but voted for Biden this year. I wish I could say my dad was one of them. Maybe next time. There are elections coming up in 2022 and there’s a high likelihood we will see a Trump

on the ballot in 2024. (There are two special elections in Georgia in January that will determine who controls the U.S. Senate!) The parents who disappointed you and endangered our Democracy in this election are likelier to come

Contact mail@savagelove.net, follow @ FakeDanSavage on Twitter. Dan consults a rabbi on savagelovecast.com. x

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