CREATIVE LOAFING • CLTAMPA.COM AUG. 27- SEPT. 02, 2020 • VOL 33, NO.33
COMING HOME DEMIC
YES, YOU CAN STILL SUPPORT AN ARTS SCENE IN A PAN
PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf
BRYAN EDWARD CREATIVE
FOOD CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge CONTRIBUTORS Jefferey C. Billman, Rob Brezsny, Justin Garcia, Yuki Jackson, Jenna Rimensnyder, Joseph Roma, Dan Savage,
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Chandler Culotta, Dave Decker
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It seems like they hoped for the best instead of preparing for the worst. Teachers ready to call it quits if schools require in-person learnings, p. 8.
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Survivor stories
Photos by Dave Decker and Chandler Culotta
T
ampa activist Jae Passmore saw prominent civil rights attorney Ben Crump join her team this week (more on p. 13), and on Saturday she spoke to a small group rallying to support victims and survivors of police brutality. Other speakers at downtown Tampa’s Joe Chillura Courthouse Square included newly-elected Florida Rep. Michele Rayner and Kai Robinson, a 22-year-old transgender man who said they were groped and harassed by Hillsborough County Sherriffs earlier this month. Chandler and Dave have these frames to share, see more via photos.cltampa.com. —Ray Roa
continued on page 7
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“I’ve never felt so much like walking away, and I’ve worked at some tough schools.” POLITICS ISSUES OPINION
Pull the plug
Some Hillsborough teachers are ready to call it quits if schools require in-person learning. By Justin Garcia
A
s state officials force in-person public school classes to begin by August 31 in Hillsborough County, teachers, parents and education activists fear that schools are woefully unprepared to deal with COVID-19. It’s been weighing on Kathy Hockman’s mind all summer; she instructs a variety of science courses at Middleton High School in Tampa and has been a teacher for 30 years. “I’ve never felt so much like walking away, and I’ve worked at some tough schools,” Hockman tells Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “My granddaughter is immunocompromised. We’ve been doing everything we can to protect her, and this is so frustrating because it puts her at risk.” Hockman is scheduled to teach through eLearning due to her family situation and a personal disability, but still received an email from her school saying that she might have to teach in-person classes. If that is demanded of her, she is considering walking away from her career. Teachers like Hockman and their advocates are wondering why and how the state could force this situation upon them when the Hillsborough County School Board voted to host eLearning classes only for the first four weeks of school. On August 13, that decision was challenged by Florida Education Commissioner Richard Corcoran, with Gov. Ron DeSantis giving the decision his support. The state threatened to remove $23 million in funding in one month if schools refused to reopen for in-person classes. Hillsborough Schools Superintendent Addison Davis announced the decision with a positive spin in an August 13 press conference, calling the one week of eLearning beginning on August 24 the “start smart week”. Schools are scheduled to open for families who sign up to return on August 31, which is estimated to be about 50% of students. This reopening is set to occur in a COVID-19 hotspot county, with over 33,000 confirmed cases and at least 458 deaths. Since March, 329 cases of COVID-19 have been reported at Hillsborough schools. On August 16, Florida recorded its deadliest week yet, despite reported infections being the lowest since June. “The superintendent does not have a plan for a safe reopening of schools during COVID, yet
he wants to pretend like everything is going to be OK,” Bianca Goolsby, a former Hillsborough school teacher, tells CL. “But, in reality, it’s not going to work. We have several schools where sanitation stations don’t exist, there’s not enough PPE equipment, and social distancing is impossible.” The district has a 50-page state-approved plan for reopening that’s been available for weeks; critics say that the plan and its execution are not safe. Goolsby left her teaching career in 2019 because of unsafe conditions in her school that she claims were being ignored by the district. She founded Teaching For The Culture, an LLC that advocates for students and teachers.
Because educators are worried about losing their jobs for speaking out about their conditions, Goolsby created the forum, “Safe Space for Hillsborough County Educators”, where teachers can anonymously whistleblow on anything from lack of air conditioning in schools to sanitation problems and positive COVID-19 cases. She also hosts a show called “Morning Tea and Allegations”, where she highlights discrepancies and injustices within the local school system. The uncertainty of what to expect when returning to school worries Valerie Chuchman, a Chemistry teacher at Riverview High School. “Protocols for when students are on campus
SAFE SPACE: Is it possible to safely restart in-person learning?
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have either not been established or shared with staff. Class sizes won’t be reduced,” Chuchman tells CL. “We keep waiting for some direction, but all we hear is that information is coming soon. Time is running out.” Damaris Allen, former president of Hillsborough County Council PTA, points out that testing and contact tracing may be another issue with reopening safely. “There’s not a lot of clarity around how available rapid testing will be and how they’re going to handle contact tracing of those who test positive,” Allen tells CL. “I feel like on every level some of our leadership assumed it
EDUCATION
[COVID-19] would be gone by now, so it seems like they hoped for the best instead of preparing for the worst.” Another issue with tracking COVID-19 in schools is that younger people are often asymptomatic, and spread the virus without knowing it. Despite this knowledge, an attorney is suing Hillsborough County Schools on behalf of parents in an attempt to remove a mandatory mask rule for students. Scott Hottenstein, teacher and candidate for Florida State Representative District 57, believes that the state’s decision to overrule the school board may be illegal. “I teach Civics, so this type of situation is what I educate our kids about,” Hottenstein tells CL. “I don’t understand how the state and the superintendent can override the decision of the school board, the statutory authority for opening the schools lies with the board.” The Florida Education Association (FEA) opened a lawsuit against the state over this alleged illegal decision by the state, which they say violates the Florida Constitution and Florida Statute 1001.42. On August 24, A Leon County court sided with FEA over the state order for schools to reopen, issuing a temporary hold on that order. Education Commissioner Richard Corcoran and Superintendent Addison Davis’ offices did not respond to CL’s requests for comment on the legality of the decision and details of the reopening plan (CL reached out to Davis directly via email, once, on Sun. August 16). In an August 13 press conference discussing reopening, Davis said that the reason proper amounts of PPE and sanitation gear are not at schools yet is because the county wasn’t sure when schools would reopen. In the same press conference, Hillsborough County Schools’ Safety and Risk Management Corries Culpepper says there are warehouses full of PPE, but added that the reason they had yet to ship was because sometimes the supplies “somehow get legs and walk.” In the time between when this story was edited and published online, Hillsborough Schools posted a video of some of the PPE being delivered as well as clips of a school principal putting up social distancing and sanitation signs. In an email to CL sent after this story published, Erin Maloney, Department Manager for Media Outreach at Hillsborough County Public Schools said that the district has distributed, 1,134,790 masks, 689,060 gloves, 31,515 hand sanitizers, and 481 thermometers. “We have consistently been available to the press to talk about our PPE supplies, [we've]
spent over $2 million on so far,” Maloney wrote. She anticipates that the district will spend $6 million per month and additional PPE and safety measures. “ ...we ordered so much soap that at one point it could not even fit in our warehouse,” Malone added. “We delivered a first round of PPE supplies to schools the week teachers returned to class, and have been continually sending them ever since.” “It is irresponsible that your reporter misinformed your readers with inaccurate information. He did not take the time to contact the district or do any research on the vast amount of preparations we have taken for the safety of our students, staff and families,” Maloney wrote. “Your reporter also misquoted Superintendent Davis saying that our district did not distribute PPE to schools.” Teachers worry that speaking up about these issues publicly might risk their career, but they prefer that their voice be heard, rather than be left out of the decision making process. Teacher Ryan Haczynski created the website “Teacher Voice”, a blog and podcast that advocates for educators in Hillsborough County and across Florida. “I think the biggest thing that myself and other teachers are worried about is the utter disconnect between what is being said by the officials and the actual experience of teachers in our schools,” Haczynski tells CL. “The superintendent says teachers are going to have PPE, but it seems like they’re going to give us a mask and pack of wipes and say, ‘Good luck!’.” Since he teaches a specialized class called “Theory of Knowledge”, Haczynski was told that if even one student requests an in-person class, he will have to report to school on August 31. He is ready to take a leave of absence if this happens. In Georgia, public schools reopened at the beginning of August. A student shared photos of packed hallways in her school, and was later suspended. Her school closed two days after opening due to an outbreak of COVID-19 cases. On August 13, Georgia reported 136 deaths, the state’s highest daily total. When Hillsborough County teachers see scenarios like this unfold in other states, it becomes apparent that they are facing a situation of life and death. “The decision completely disregards the advice of medical experts who told the school board not to open schools with current [COVID19] rates as they are,” Haczynski says. “When hospitals in our county are filling up with patients and the state is still trying to force schools to open, that’s a real problem.”
“Teachers worry that speaking up about these issues publicly might risk their career.”
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CITY OF TAMPA PUBLIC RECORD
WHAT’S IN A PLAN: Downtown Tampa’s newest unpermitted mural was executed to a T.
The bork continues
Emails between ‘Back the Blue’ mural organizers and city employees raise new questions. By Colin Wolf and Ray Roa
I
nternal emails and text messages obtained by Creative Loafing Tampa Bay are raising more questions about whether or not the controversial “Back the Blue” mural was officially approved by the City of Tampa. On Wednesday, August 19, more than two weeks after a public records request was filed by CL, screenshots of text messages and emails between mural organizer and local realtor Kristen Krutz and City of Tampa employees gave a glimpse into the mural’s convoluted permitting process, and also allege that Tampa Mayor Jane Castor actually gave the green light to the unpermitted pro-police art project (Castor denies that she did). In a July 23 email to Danni Jorgenson, Chief Transportation Planning Engineer at City of Tampa, Krutz claims she sent a letter to Castor on July 16, asking for permission to use private funds from the online Facebook group “Back The Blue Florida” to create the “Back the Blue Mural” on Madison Street, near the 411 Franklin Police Headquarters. The letter was also cosigned by fellow organizers Kelli Campbell and Cassandra Kistler. In the letter to Castor, Krutz also presented an alternative location of 1710 Tampa St., which
is just a couple blocks from a legally-permitted “Unity” mural in Tampa Heights. “It has come to our attention that you generously allowed, supported and participated in the painting of the ‘black lives matter’ mural in our great city!” wrote Krutz in the letter, adding that she counts on the mayor’s “unbiased support.” In the same July 23 email, which also included Police Benevolent Association (PBA) President Darla Portman, Krutz added that Castor already approved the Franklin mural location two days earlier. “On Tuesday night mayor Castor called Darla Portman and Reluctantly stated that it could Be on franklin and Madison,” wrote Krutz. CL contacted Krutz and Portman to verify this claim. Portman has yet to return our request for comment. Krutz did not speak to that claim on record, but did say that she is no longer affiliated with her co-signers Campbell and Kistler. “I left the [Facebook] group the week after the mural was painted. There are more than 10 back the blue [Facebook] groups. Many in existence for far longer than Cassandra, Audra and Kelli’s group and with 40K more members,” Krutz wrote in an email. “My part in the mural was to show love for
LOCAL NEWS
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people of all colors who show up to genuinely love and protect their city everyday. That’s it.” In a previous statement to CL, Tampa Police Department spokesperson Jamel Lanee said that her department was told that the “Back the Blue” mural was approved, but when asked who told TPD this information, she replied: “this is all being investigated.” This is noteworthy, since City of Tampa Marketing and Communications Director Ashley Bauman told CL contributor Josh Holton that during a recent roll call in front of Tampa police officers, Castor did not give specific approval for a “Back the Blue” mural, but did support an “essential worker mural that included first responders.” “[Castor] said we could do an essential employee mural but never approved nor permitted the BTB,” Bauman wrote in a text message. Bauman did not remember the exact date of the roll call, but added that it was “three weeks ago.” Bauman has not answered two requests for comment from CL asking if Castor spoke with Portman during the week of July 21, and if permission was granted for the mural on Franklin and Madison. In another email obtained by CL, Jorgenson told Krutz that she needed to file the application in order for the mural to go through the next step of the approval process. Later on July 23, Jorgenson sent an email to various city employees, including Bauman, explaining the demands
from Krutz and that she’d been informed on how to get the mural approved. “I let her know that while I can talk to her about the process of doing a mural (permit requirements, liability insurance, paint specification, approval processes at the City), ultimately many at the City would need to review/comment/approve the proposed concept and location,” said Jorgenson. Also on July 23, Jean Duncan, Administrator of Infrastructure and Mobility, sent an email to Castor informing her of Krutz and the mural, and stated that she would help her complete the project. “We will work with her and Darla Portman to go through our process for any proposed mural,” wrote Duncan. In a follow up email, on July 24, Krutz says she had a change.org petition supporting the mural that includes signatures from 75% of TPD. CL also obtained the petition’s list of signatures, but has yet to verify this claim. The following Monday, July 27, Marley Wilkes, Tampa’s Director of Governmental Affairs & Strategic Initiatives, sent an email to Jorgenson and Duncan noting that Krutz already sent a letter to Castor regarding the mural, and has collected signatures, though “some of these are outside of Tampa.” Later that afternoon, Krutz emailed Wilkes asking if she was “Approved to paint the mural as submitted?” Wilkes then responded to Krutz and CC’d Jorgenson, informing them that she
“A letter says the mayor previously ‘expressed support’ for the project.”
CITY OF TAMPA PUBLIC RECORD
had received the application, and that the mural had not been approved. Three days later, on Thursday, July 30, Krutz followed up in another email, but Wilkes again told her that the city is still reviewing the mural application. “As discussed on Monday, we are reviewing the application and will be back in touch with you. Thanks,” wrote Wilkes. An official application for a mural permit was not included in the public records released to CL. CL reiterated its August 4 request for the permit application in a follow up email to Jim Crew who is the Public Records Coordinator at the Office of the City Clerk. Crew wrote back to say that, “Regarding your inquiry below, these are all records identified responsive to your request.” CL also asked Bauman for permission to speak with Jorgenson; Bauman said, “no.” Finally, on Friday, July 31, Jeffrey Stull, an attorney representing the Police Benevolent Association, sent a formal letter to Castor regarding the mural, saying the mayor has previously “expressed support” for the project, and urged her to speed up the approval process for the “Back the Blue” mural. “In speaking with Ms. Krutz, I learned that she is frustrated because it is taking so long to obtain approval for her project even though City officials, including you, have expressed support. Ms. Krutz advises me that she believes she complied with all requirements,” wrote Stull. “Indeed, she has advised me that when African American leaders in our community requested the painting of the statement ‘Black Lives Matter’ at the intersection of E. Cass and N. Central, approval was given and the project was completed, both within two days of the request.” Later that day, Krutz then forwarded the letter to Wilkes, who acknowledged that she
received it but also did not say if the application was in fact approved. “Hey Kristen - thanks for sending to us. I will make sure the appropriate folks see this,” Wilkes wrote before ending the email with “have a nice weekend.” The next night, August 1, the “Back the Blue” mural was painted without the necessary permit. Since its inception, the “Back The Blue” mural has been a viral joke for it’s sloppy creation and total inability to read what it even says (“Bork the Blub”). But more importantly, the mural has transformed into a controversial sticking point for many locals and Black Lives Matter activists, who claim it’s a prime example of the Tampa Police Department picking sides and not enforcing laws equally. While the “Back the Blue” mural’s organizers have yet to be charged for going through with the project without a permit, as well as illegally shutting down a city street, last week TPD arrested multiple protesters for painting a portion of Curtis Hixon Park park without a permit, and quickly charged them with “criminal mischief.” TPD also arrested multiple people on multiple occasions for “vandalizing” the “Back the Blue” mural, and has literally attacked protesters for shutting down streets and intersections. Meanwhile, Mayor Castor has been mostly silent on this issue, releasing just a single statement on Aug. 3. “Any tribute to honor their service is welcome,” said Castor. “It’s unfortunate they didn’t see the permitting process through so that our community could participate in showing their appreciation for the brave men and women that service our residents every day.”
DAVE DECKER
THIN BLUE SHIRT: Pro-police and Black Lives Matter protesters meet in Tampa on Aug. 12, 2020.
cltampa.com | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2020 | 11
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Big Ben
Prominent civil rights attorney to represent Tampa protester Jae Passmore. By Ray Roa
T
allahassee civil rights attorney Ben Crump— who’s represented the families of Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown—has been added to the legal team representing Tampa protester Jae Passmore. Crump is also representing the family of Breonna Taylor. Last week, Crump posted a video of a driver driving the wrong way on Swann Avenue and hitting Passmore with a truck during a June 21 protest in South Tampa’s Hyde Park Village. “UNREAL. This Tampa driver purposefully STRUCK a peaceful BLM protestor. Jae suffered a concussion and other injuries!,” Crump wrote on Twitter. Crump also said that the Tampa Police Department knows the identity of the driver of the truck, but added that TPD “refuses to provide it citing an ‘open investigation.’” Crump then called on “#BlackTwitter detectives,” to help “find the truck driver’s identity...” In the video, Passmore can be heard on a megaphone saying, “I’m ready to die for what I believe in.” She then addresses the fact that if a vehicle runs her over then, “that’ll be what it is.” TPD has a lot of investigations happening, apparently. On August 13, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay asked Public Information Officer Jamel Lanee if Major Richard Mills had a meeting with Police Chief Brian Dugan concerning Noah Armstrong, who protesters allege drove his car through a July 4 demonstration on Dale Mabry Highway. CL—citing event numbers affiliated with police reports filed by witnesses to Armstrong driving through the protest—also asked if TPD has charged Armstrong with anything, including reckless driving. “I checked and those reports are still open. Once they are closed, we can redact and send to you. We
can not confirm any meetings as the case remains under investigation,” Lanee told CL. “The case is under investigation and that’s all we can say.” In an email with CL, Gretchen Cothron, President of the Greater Tampa chapter of the ACLU, confirmed that she’s enlisted Crump’s help in Passmore’s case. “He’s taking the lead and I’m staying on as his co-counsel,” Cothron added. Crump was inspired to become a lawyer when his mom told him the story of NAACP attorney Thurgood Marshall, the U.S. Supreme Court’s first African-American justice. Crump told Florida Trend magazine that, “From that day to this one, my objective has been to try to give people who are marginalized and disenfranchised a better shot at the American dream.” Crump’s role in demanding justice in the 2012 killing of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin— who was walking through a Sanford, Florida gated community with a bag of Skittles and a can of iced tea when he was killed by George Zimmerman, a overzealous, racist neighborhood crime watch volunteer and child killer—thrust the lawyer into the national spotlight. “Crump led a campaign to have Zimmerman arrested. Zimmerman later was acquitted on second-degree murder charges, but Crump helped Martin’s family settle with Zimmerman’s homeowners association for more than $1 million,” Florida Trend wrote. Crump’s garnered so much attention for his civil rights work that “#blackAF” creator Kenya Barris is working on a Netflix documentary about him. Nadia Hallgren, who was nominated for an Emmy for her work on the Michelle Obama documentary “Becoming” will direct and co-produce the film about Crump.
PROTESTS
TONY WEBSTER (CC-2.0)
FAMILIAR FACE: Ben Crump represented the families of Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown.
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Classic conditioning
Holding up when what’s already dead goes away for good. By Yuki Jackson
I
t’s never heartening to watch yourself pull out clumps of hair as you shampoo and condition. It was especially during the conditioning part when I became horrified at how much hair I was losing, since that’s the end of the rinse cycle. By then, whatever stray strands should have washed away. When I later went to the doctor for a seemingly unrelated problem, I learned that I had a hormonal imbalance. Too much testosterone. As a feminist, I was amused and devastated. I have made it my life’s work to elevate the voice of women and bring down the patriarchy, yet here I was, apparently raging with primary male sex horomone. I appreciated the irony as poetic gold, but struggled to embrace the reality of my increasingly visible scalp and the implications of my newfound maleness. I’ve always been a huge fan of gender-bending and the art of drag, somewhat bordering on obsession. Whenever I see a man not only embracing but also expressing their innate femininity, I feel a deep sense of assurance and belonging. Probably because so much of our society is built upon the subjugation of women. From religion to rap, misogyny has been the foundational lens through which we gaze and operate.
Most recently, the rap song and video “WAP” has raised important public conversation about the misogyny entrenched in hip-hop. Of course, it’s only an extension and microcosm of what the larger culture perpetuates. But there’s something about mainstream rap culture that, while being known for putting on a front, is actually quite honest. The reduction of women into mere sexual props is often depicted in the lyrics and videos. Even some of the most so-called conscious male rappers do it, albeit to a slightly lesser degree. And where I think the controversy of “WAP” meets the road to progress is the examination of how we as women, under the guise of female empowerment, also contribute to the dominance of male desire. This tendency is inside of us all, no different than the hormones running through our bodies. We might say we can’t help it, it’s biological. But we’re also conditioned. In some ways, misogyny is the brand of conditioner we all use. As I gather my fallen hair, what has been full until now and the subject of compliments, I’m forced to confront my identity as a woman outside of appearance. It is a test of how my self esteem can hold up even after that which grows from me and is already dead, goes away for good.
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A Visible Scalp I’m starting to go bald and resist flowery patterns that center ovary I have adopted a male pattern problem I notice most when I reach to pat my own head I’m diagnosed a syndrome, my body produces too much of what makes us see men— apparently it’s an imbalance caused by stress or passed through our family’s women, the same condition that made my grandmother wear a wig and take her teeth out at night HAIR TODAY: It’s never heartening to watch yourself pull out clumps of hair as you shampoo and condition.
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America in two speeches
In 2004, Barack Obama offered us hope. In 2020, a warning. By Jeffrey C. Billman
T
here are lots of policy questions we should focus on over the next 10 weeks: the COVID19 pandemic, the economic recovery, the climate crisis, systemic racism in our criminal justice system, the wealth gap, expanding access to health care. There are political matters, too: the devolution of the MAGA Republican Party into a grifters’ club, Democrats’ insistence on relegating the activist left to the kids’ table. But as November nears, I’m convinced all of that is secondary. Foremost is something more foundational: Will we allow the continued erosion of democratic fundaments, or will we arrest our hastening slide into authoritarianism? A more eloquent version of this idea was the centerpiece of Barack Obama’s speech during the Democratic National Convention, an unusually scorching takedown of his successor. “Donald Trump hasn’t grown into the job because he can’t,” Obama said. “And the consequences of that failure are severe. One hundred seventy thousand Americans dead. Millions of jobs gone while those at the top take in more than ever. Our worst impulses unleashed, our proud reputation around the world badly diminished, and our democratic institutions threatened like never before.” He continued: “This president and those in power—those who benefit from keeping things the way they are—they are counting on your cynicism. They know they can’t win you over with their policies. So they’re hoping to make it as hard as possible for you to vote, and to convince you that your vote doesn’t matter. That’s how they win. That’s how they get to keep making decisions that affect your life, and the lives of the people you love. That’s how the economy will keep getting skewed to the wealthy and well-connected, how our health systems will let more people fall through the cracks. That’s how a democracy withers, until it’s no democracy at all.” His point—unspoken though not difficult to intuit—was this: As much as Joe Biden is on the ballot, democracy is on the ballot. Whatever you think of Biden is irrelevant. Win this war before you fight the next one. I was also struck by the emotional dissonance between this speech and the sunny optimism of the 2004 DNC address that launched Obama into the national spotlight: “Now even as we speak, there are those who are preparing to divide us, the spin masters and negative ad peddlers who embrace the politics of anything goes. Well, I say to them tonight,
there’s not a liberal America and a conservative America; there’s the United States of America. There’s not a Black America and white America and Latino America and Asian America; there’s the United States of America. … We are one people, all of us pledging allegiance to the stars and stripes, all of us defending the United States of America.” In 16 years, we went from “we are one people” to the despair of “our worst impulses unleashed” and the desperation of “that’s how a democracy withers.” The boyish Obama of 2004 reflected the America of Hollywood imaginations; his was a Sorkin-esque appeal to our better angels to bridge insignificant partisan divides. The wizened Obama of 2020 knows better. This wasn’t a speech about the America we want to be; it was a speech about the America we might become. The first was a promise, the second a warning.
Perhaps, though, he’ll rise to the occasion. As Biden noted during his acceptance speech, “America’s history tells us that it has been in our darkest moments that we’ve made our greatest progress. That we’ve found the light. And in this dark moment, I believe we are poised to make great progress again.” But even if he’s a mediocrity, President Biden will be a victory merely by his existence. America will have rejected a lawless regime. The new White House will take the pandemic seriously; climate change, too. Justice Ginsburg can retire. And the country will remember that the federal government wasn’t always a clown car of incompetents, white nationalists, obsequious lickspittles, and con men. We live to fight another day. As Obama put it, “You can give our democracy new meaning. You can take it to a better place. … That work will continue long after this election. But any chance of success depends entirely on the outcome of this election. This administration has shown it will tear our democracy down if that’s what it takes to win.” In other words, to fight the next war, you have to win this one.
“To fight the next war, you have to win this one.”
PETE SOUZA
INFORMED DISSENT
When the primaries began, Biden wasn’t anyone’s platonic ideal of a standard-bearer. His campaign wasn’t rooted in ambitious visions or big ideas. His pitch was his humanity—he’s Joey, a decent, empathetic guy who’s persevered through unimaginable loss and would rather be a good man than a great one. He wasn’t there to change the country, just to save it. In most elections—against a different opponent, without the backdrop of a pandemic and an economic crisis—that wouldn’t suffice. But as I watched the DNC, I realized that Trump is a script-perfect foil for Biden: quiet competence to bombastic failure; knowing steadiness to perpetual tumult; the warmth of your favorite grandfather who is going to fix this mess because he still loves you, goddammit, to the uncouthness of your belligerent drunk uncle who caused the mess but blames everyone else for it. That doesn’t tell us if he’ll be good at the job, of course. I have reservations. Biden is moored to political instincts and advisers two decades past their sell-by date, which hints at pusillanimity.
16 | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2020 | cltampa.com
BO AND JOE: Democracy is on the ballot in November.
Shit Happened After suspected sightings, state agriculture officials said Thursday there is no evidence that so-called “murder hornets” are in Florida. Good, cause 2020 was already sucking really bad.
MONDAY 24 Heat indices reach 112 in Tampa Bay, which means that at practice, Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady probably asked his center to stuff two towels in his pants in an attempt to keep the football dry.
JOEY ROULETTE
THURSDAY 20
TUESDAY 25 Attorney John Morgan says he’ll donate $100K to pay off debts of ex-felons in Florida to regain their right to vote. No word if he’ll finally pay his call center workers a living wage though.
SATURDAY 29
A health department report says over 700 coronavirus cases are linked to Florida schools reopening. We’d say, “Told you so,” but there’s nothing funny about putting a person’s life at risk the way the state did.
Tampa laser tag palace Q-Zar permanently closes after 25 years in business. Owners are considering selling off the laser guns, energizers and vests, but they can’t issue a refund for the regret you felt after giving up your first kiss on the black-lit battlefield. So much shit, all the time. Swim with us via cltampa.com/news.
cltampa.com | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2020 | 17
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20 | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2020 | cltampa.com
cltampa.com | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2020 | 21
22 | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2020 | cltampa.com
OPENINGS RESTAURANTS RECIPES DINING GUIDES
Wait for it
A buttload of restos are opening this fall. By Jenna Rimensnyder
Coming soon Beans & Barlour This October, the shop is launching a mobile dessert bar serving up bites and full liquor license. Locals can expect B&B’s full specialty coffee menu, cocktails, ice creams, fun floats, shakes and more. In other news, B&B is also now serving boozy ice cream sandwiches, as well as non-alcoholic and vegan edible cookie dough flavors. 538 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. beansandbarlour.com Milkin It Shooting for an early to mid-September opening, The Milkin menu can be eaten for breakfast, dessert, or as a midday snack. Guests will have their choice of nostalgic eats, with a selection of cereals like Fruity Pebbles and Captain Crunch. Rather than your ordinary milk, the concept has created three different offerings, almond milk made with coconut sugar, milk made with brown sugar, and cornflake infused cereal milk. Oh yeah, and homemade pastries, doughnuts and espresso drinks are also up for grabs. 1000 Channelside Dr., Tampa. milkinit813@gmail.com Paradeco Coffee Roasters New coffee shop vibes coming to the ‘Burg. Alongside espresso drinks, guests can also order baked goods sourced from local bakeries as well as overnight cold oats, avocado toast, wraps, and breakfast sandos. You can even opt for vegan or gluten-free treats. 111 2nd Ave. NE Suite no. 101, St. Petersburg. @paradecocoffeeroasters on Facebook. The Hatchery Chris Elliott, CEO of Beef ‘O’ Brady’s, is opening a chicken-focused joint in South Tampa on August 31. The menu is loaded with all things chicken: wings, nuggets, tenders, sandos and salads. Sides for meals are bites like farmhouse fries, onion rings, coleslaw, mac n’ cheese, or a garden
salad. There’s even a lineup for “little chicks” for kids 12 and under. Until then, you can get a taste by ordering delivery through the concept’s website. 201 N. Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa. thehatchery.com The Main Ingredient Sparkman Wharf is expanding its selection of eats and shops. New Specialty food store, The Main Ingredient, hosts a lineup of tea, as well as local and Florida-based products like home goods, jams, honeys, hot sauces and spices. 615 Channelside Dr., Tampa. themainingredient.org Valkyrie Doughnuts Get ready for vegan, square-shaped doughnuts taking over at the
ICYMI Meals on Wheels for Kids As a way to ensure that children are receiving meals while
completing virtual learning from home, Tampa Bay Network to End Hunger (TBNEH), a tricounty leader in hunger relief, research and program development, is expanding Meals On Wheels for Kids (MOW4Kids) into Clearwater. The program is looking for donations as well as volunteers to package and deliver meals. To find out more, visit networktoendhugner. org/volunteer Miracle at Mezzo Start warming up your caroling vocals, the Christmas-themed pop-up, Miracle at Mezzo, is returning to Intermezzo Coffee & Cocktails this Black Friday. That means we’re less than 100 days away from festive cocktails—including the classic “Christmapolitan” made up of vodka, elderflower, dry vermouth, spiced cranberry sauce, lime, rosemary and absinthe mist. 111 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. @miracleatmezzo on Instagram.
THE HATCHERY
W
e have good news, and bad news. The good news is, Tampa Bay is set to be swimming in new concepts like a new chicken joint, a mobile dessert bar and a new cereal bar. The bad news is, you have to wait until fall. But technically you can order delivery from one of the spots, The Hatchery, before its storefront opening date at the end of the month. Until then, continue to pledge your allegiance to eating local and break up with chain restos. Stay hungry, people.
former space of St. Pete’s Community Cafe. The shop confirmed in a message with CL that it is currently in permitting stages and hopes to make its debut in “probably 10 weeks.” Valkyrie is the sister concept of Valhalla Bakery, which expanded from Orlando to St. Pete. 2444 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. valkyriedoughnuts.com Yummè Herbalife Nutrition Distributor and Coach Xaviera Zientek is opening a healthfocused cafe serving up meal replacement shakes, energizing teas, and fitness classes. All products on the menu are Herbalife, “I describe this menu as if Weight Watchers and Smoothie King had a baby,” Zientek told CL with a laugh. 2942 49th St. N., St. Petersburg. @yummenutrition on Facebook.
EARLY BIRD: No need to wait to get a taste of The Hatchery—the joint is now taking delivery orders.
cltampa.com | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2020 | 23
24 | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2020 | cltampa.com
#KeepinItChido Sopapillas, Churros, Flan, and Tres Leches Cake
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cltampa.com | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2020 | 25
Relax responsibly™. Corona Extra®, Corona Light® and Corona Premier® Beers. Imported by Crown Imports, Chicago, IL
26 | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2020 | cltampa.com 15076-CX GameDay Beach PrntGrphc.indd 1
8/17/20 2:31 PM
No matter where you are in the Bay area, you’re not far from unique, locally handcrafted brews. We'd call, however, to see about offerings during the coronavirus pandemic. Here’s our ever-evolving list of Bay area brewers—support them during this difficult time! 3 DAUGHTERS BREWING One of the Warehouse Arts District’s most popular hangouts, and a beautiful facility in which to drink some great brews. 222 22nd St. S., St. Petersburg. 727-495-6002, 3dbrewing.com 3 KEYS BREWING South-of-the-Skyway restaurant and brewery specializing in small batches. 2505 Manatee Ave. E., Bradenton. 951-218-0396, 3keysbrewing.com 7VENTH SUN BREWING Some of the best sours, IPAs and collabs going. Two locations. 1012 Broadway, Dunedin. 727-733-3013/6809 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa. 813-231-5900, 7venthsun.com 81BAY BREWING CO. South Tampa’s first craft brewery boasts a wide variety of styles. 4465 W. Gandy Blvd., Tampa. 813-837-BREW, 81baybrewco.com ANGRY CHAIR Crazy-good Tampa beer, open TuesdaySunday. 6401 N. Florida Ave., Seminole Heights. 813-238-1122, angrychairbrewing.com ANTIBREWERY Dunedin’s secret Sundays-only nano. 1367 Martin Luther King Jr. Ave., Dunedin ARKANE ALEWORKS A wide variety of styles and flavors from the second brewery to open in Largo. 2480 E. Bay Dr., #23, Largo. 727-270-7117, arkanebeer.com AVID BREWING This Grand Central brewing supply shop added a taproom for its beers crafted in-house. 1745 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-388-6756, avidbrew.com BARRIEHAUS BEER CO. Lager-specific brewery, carrying on an over 150 year brewing legacy. 1403 E 5th Ave., Ybor City. barriehaus.com BAY CANNON BEER CO. West Tampa's first craft brewery, offering a variety of ever evolving beers, beer slushies and wine that pair perfectly with appetizers and entrées from the kitchen. 813-442-5615, baycannon.com BIG STORM BREWING CO. Stop by this Pasco brewery’s Storm Room for a flight, or visit their taproom on 49th Street in Clearwater, too. 2330 Success Dr., Odessa. 727-807-7998, bigstormbrewery.com BIG TOP BREWING Perhaps Sarasota’s premier purveyor of locally crafted beer, Big Top’s reputation has spread far beyond the region. 6111 Porter Way, Sarasota. 941-371-2939, bigtopbrewing.com BOOTLEGGERS BREWING CO. This Brandon taproom from Bootleggers Beer & Wine Home Brewing Supplies offers house-made suds and guest beers. 652 Oakfield Dr., Brandon. 813-643-9463, bootleggersbrewco.com BRASSERIE ST. SOMEWHERE Award-winning Belgian farmhouse ales from veteran Bay area brewer Bob Sylvester. 1441 Savannah Ave., Tarpon Springs. 813-503-6181, saintsomewherebrewing.com BREW BUS BREWING BB brews its own suds, boasts 20 taps and offers food at its Eatery, too. 4101 N. Florida Ave., Tampa. 813-990-7310, brewbususa.com BREW HUB Some of the area’s best beers are produced here along with suds for their own label. 3900 Frontage Rd. S., Lakeland. 863-698-7600, brewhub.com BREW LIFE BREWING Ultra-small batches, and a lot of ‘em. 5765 S. Beneva Rd., Sarasota. 941-952-3831, brewlifebrewing.com BULLFROG CREEK BREWING CO. A multitude of styles from former garage brewers is on tap in Valrico. 3632 Lithia Pinecrest Rd., Valrico. 813-703-8835, bullfrogcreekbrewing. com CAGE BREWING Custom brews in the Grand Central District from one of the ‘Burg’s newest. 2001 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-201-4278 CALEDONIA BREWING Great in-house beers in the historic Dunedin Times building. 587 Main St., Dunedin. 727351-5105, caledoniabrewing.com CALUSA BREWING Family owned and operated, opened Tuesday to Sunday. 5701 Derek Ave., Sarasota. 941-9228150, calusabrewing.com CARROLLWOOD BREWING CO. “Secret” brewing action inside the Carrollwood location of craft-bar chain The Brass Tap. 10047 N. Dale Mabry HWY, STE 23, Tampa. 813-969-2337
CIGAR CITY BREWING Tampa’s most famous craft brewery. There’s also a taproom at Amalie Arena. 3924 W. Spruce St., Tampa. 813-348-6363, cigarcitybrewing.com CLEARWATER BREWING CO. Community-oriented and socially and environmentally conscious. 1700 N. Fort Harrison Ave., Clearwater. clearwaterbrewingcompany.com COPPERTAIL BREWING CO. Some of Tampa’s best beer, in one of its best tasting rooms. 2601 E. 2nd Ave., Tampa. 813-247-1500, coppertailbrewing.com COTEE RIVER BREWING Craft beer in the heart of historic downtown New Port Richey. 5760 Main St., New Port Richey. 727-807-6806, coteeriverbrewing.com CRAFT LIFE BREWING Small-batch local brews and a sort of playground or LoL’s craft brewing guild. 4624 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., Land O’ Lakes. 813-575-8440. facebook.com/ CraftLifeBrewing CROOKED THUMB BREWERY Safety Harbor’s first brewery boasts homegrown flavor and local guest taps. 555 10th Ave. S., Safety Harbor. 727-724-5953, crookedthumbbrew.com CUENI BREWING CO. Located off the Pinellas Trail in Dunedin. 945 Huntley Ave., Dunedin. 727-266-4102, cuenibrewing.com CYCLE BREWING One of St. Pete’s favorites. 534 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-320-7954. cyclebrewing.com DARWIN BREWING CO. Unique beers crafted with South American influence. 803 17th Ave. W., Bradenton. 941-7471970, darwinbrewingco.com DE BINE BREWING CO. This addition bolsters the Northern Pinellas craft beer scene. 933 Florida Ave., Palm Harbor. 727-233-7964. DISSENT BREWING CO. Unique flavors and adventurous style outside downtown St. Pete. 5518 Haines Rd. N., St. Petersburg. 727-342-0255. DUNEDIN BREWERY Florida’s oldest. Beer, eats and live music. 937 Douglas Ave., Dunedin. 727-7360606, dunedinbrewery.com DUNEDIN HOUSE OF BEER This beer stop brews its own, and also has 40 guest taps. 927 Broadway, Dunedin. 727 216-6318, dunedinhob.com ESCAPE BREWING CO. Another very worthy Odessa/Trinity destination. 9945 Trinity Blvd., Suite 108, Trinity. 727-807-6092, escapebrewingcompany.com FIVE BRANCHES Veteran-owned brewery, small batches from IPAs to stouts. Serving up brews and a clear view of the Tarpon Bayou. 531 Athens St., Tarpon Springs. fivebranchesbrewing.com FLYING BOAT BREWING COMPANY St. Pete aviation history and tasty homegrown suds. 1776 11th Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-800-2999, flyingboatbrewing.com FOUR STACKS BREWING An always-changing lineup of local and regional guest suds, along with trivia, live music and more. 5469 N. US HWY 41, Apollo Beach. 813-641-2036, fourstacksbrewing.com GREEN BENCH BREWING COMPANY A space worthy of the adventurous beers it produces. 1133 Baum Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-800-9836, greenbenchbrewing.com GOOD LIQUID BREWING CO. Thirty taps and food (and a coffee roaster!) from a husband-and-wife duo. 4824 14th St. W., Bradenton. 941-896-6381, thegoodliquidbrewing.co
HOB BREWING CO. Rotating taps; some of the beers are brewed on-site and alongside a combination of local breweries plus local and international craft beer makers. 931 Huntley Ave., Dunedin. hob.beer
RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER This video game-centric Grand Central District craft beer bar started brewing its own in early 2018. 2244 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. 727-360 - 0766, stpetearcadebar.com
IF I BREWED THE WORLD This self-described “mixtape of breweries” offers a bit of everything from the classic to the fun and outrageous. 2200 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727201-4484, ifibrewedtheworld.com
ROCK BROTHERS BREWING Brews named for national and local bands have a home in Ybor City. 1901 N. 15th St., Ybor City. 813-241- 0110, rockbrothersbrewing.com
IN THE LOOP BREWING Family-friendly Land O’ Lakes brewery with a lot of community support and plenty of events. 3338 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., Land O’ Lakes. 813-9979189, intheloopbrewingcompany.com
SARASOTA BREWING COMPANY House-crafted brews, pizza, and sports out toward beautiful Siesta Key. 6607 Gateway Ave., Sarasota. 941-925 -2337, sarasotabrewing.com
INFUSION BREWING CO. Another great location in the good-beer-packed Trinity/New Port Richey area. 7813 Mitchell Blvd. Ste 103, Trinity. 727-312-4512.
SILVERKING BREWING CO. This space in Tarpon Springs complements a label that’s been around since 2012. 325 East Lemon St., Tarpon Springs. 727- 4227598, silverkingbrewing.com
INOCULUM ALE WORKS These folks are crazy for sours, and know how to craft ‘em. 554 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. inoculumaleworks.com JDUB’S BREWING COMPANY You know ‘em, you love ‘em. A favorite statewide phenomenon. 1215 Mango Ave., Sarasota. 941-955-2739, jdubsbrewing.com LAGERHAUS BREWERY & GRILL A Palm Harbor bar and eatery that offers seasonal brews to complement their regulars. 3438 East Lake Business, Palm Harbor. 727-216-9682, lagerhausbrewery.com LATE START BREWING This beloved Tampa label does its thing inside the Pour House. 1208 E. Kennedy Blvd. #112, Tampa. 813-402-2923, latestartbrewing.com LEAVEN BREWING Riverview’s first brewery is run by folks who’ve got experience brewing big and small. 11238 Boyette Rd., Riverview. 813-677-7023, leavenbrewing.com MAD BEACH CRAFT BREWING Brews, ciders, and meads by the beach. 12945 Village Boulevard, Madeira Beach. 727-3620008, madbeachbrewing.com MARKER 48 Hernando’s first production craft brewery, with its own tasting room and beer garden 12147 Cortez Blvd, Weeki Wachee. 352-6062509, marker48.com MASTRY’S BREWING CO. From CD Roma’s restaurant to sweet new digs on St. Pete Beach. 7701 Blind Pass Rd., St. Pete Beach. 727-202-8045 mastrysbrewingco.com MOTORWORKS BREWING A taproom and beer garden featuring full liquor and wine as well as 30 taps. 1014 9th Street West, Bradenton. 941-567-6218, motorworksbrewing.com MR. DUNDERBAK’S The longtime restaurant, biergarten and homebrewers’ hangout is serving up its own beers. 14929 Bruce B. Downs Blvd., Tampa. 813-977-4104, dunderbaks.com NAUGHTY MONK BREWERY Naughty Monk brings a love of Belgian styles to Manatee County. 2507 Lakewood Ranch Blvd., Bradenton. 941-708-2966, naughtymonkbrewery.com OVERFLOW BREWING St. Pete’s newest, courtesy of local Rapp head brewer Troy Bledsoe and company. 770 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727-914-0665, facebook.com/ overflowbrewingco PEPPER BREWING The Angry Pepper Taphouse’s inhouse label, available “on a limited basis.” 9366 Oakhurst Rd., Seminole. 727-596-5766, angrypeppertaphouse.com
GRINDHAUS BREW LAB Small batches and no extracts. 1650 N. Hercules Ave., Clearwater. 727-240-0804, grindhausbrewlab.com
PESKY PELICAN BREW PUB This beachy restaurant also offers up its own beers thanks to an in-house nano system. 923 72nd. St. N., St. Petersburg. 727-302-9600, peskypelicanbrewpub.com
GULFPORT BREWERY + EATERY Small batches with an artisanal food menu. 3007 Beach Blvd., Tampa. facebook. com/GulfportBrewery
PINELLAS ALE WORKS PAW offers a dog-friendly environment in addition to tasty brews. 1962 1st Ave. S., St. Petersburg. 727-235-0970, pawbeer.com
HIDDEN SPRINGS ALE WORKS This Tampa Heights brewery features a rotating tap selection. 1631 N. Franklin St., Tampa, 813-226-2739, hiddenspringsaleworks.com
RAPP BREWING COMPANY Greg Rapp’s award-winning styles are carefully crafted and delicious. 10930 Endeavor Way, Seminole. 727-544-1752, rappbrewing.com
SIX TEN BREWING A wide variety and a real passion for the craft-brew community. 7052 Benjamin Rd., Tampa. 813-886 - 0610, sixtenbrewing.com SOGGY BOTTOM BREWING More Dunedin goodness, including some truly original flavors and inventive brews. 660 Main St., Dunedin. 727- 601-1698, soggybottombrewing.com SOUTHERN BREWING & WINEMAKING Multiple brews only available in its tasting room, as well as products and guidance for local homebrewers. 4500 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa. 813-238-7800, southernbrewingwinemaking.com ST. PETE BREWING COMPANY Beers crafted specifically for the climate. 544 1st Ave. N., St. Petersburg. 727- 692-8809, stpetebrewingcompany.com STILT HOUSE BREWERY This friendly Palm Harbor joint specializes in high-ABV ales and other styles you won’t find at other breweries in the area. 625 US Hwy Alt. 19, Palm Harbor. 727-270 -7373, stilthousebrewery. com SWAN BREWING Nearly 4 decades of combined brewing experience go into the offerings at this pet-friendly joint. 115 W. Pine St., Lakeland. 863-703- 0472, swanbrewing.com TBBC Formerly Tampa Bay Brewing Co., local favorite for nearly two decades. 1600 E. 8th Ave., Ybor City/13933 Monroe’s Business Park, Westchase. 813-247-1422, tbbc. beer TAMPA BEER WORKS At the former site of ESB Brewing, TBW focuses on American craft styles. 333 N. Falkenburg Rd., Suite D407 Tampa. 813-685-1909, tampabeerworks.com TIDAL BREWING COMPANY Small batches in Spring Hill. 14311 Spring Hill Dr., Spring Hill. 352-701-1602,tidalbrewingfl.com TWO FROGS BREWING COMPANY Tarpon Springs’ latest brewery and taproom focuses on American ale styles. 151 E. Tarpon Ave., Tarpon Springs. 727-940-6077, facebook.com/twofrogsbrewing KEEL FARMS AGRARIAN ALE + CIDER Tasty brews from the folks behind Keel & Curley winery. 5210 W. Thonotosassa Rd., Plant City. 813-752-9100, keelandcurleywinery.com TWO LIONS WINERY & PALM HARBOR BREWERY Wine and beer brewed in-house. 1022 Georgia Ave., Palm Harbor. 727-786-8039, twolionswinery.com ULELE SPRING BREWERY Beer crafted in accordance with traditional Bavarian purity laws. 1810 N. Highland Ave., Tampa. 813-999-4952, ulele.com THE WILD ROVER BREWERY What started as an English pub in Odessa is now a higher-production facility in Westchase. 13921 Lynmar Blvd., Tampa. 813-475-5995, thewildroverbrewery.com WOODWRIGHT BREWING COMPANY Traditional German styles in downtown Dunedin. 985 Douglas Ave., Dunedin. 727-238-8717, facebook.com/ woodwrightbrewing ZEPHYRHILLS BREWING COMPANY East Paco’s first microbrewery. 38530 5th Ave., Zephyrhills. 813715 -2683, zbcbeer.com ZYDECO BREW WERKS Craft brews in Ybor thanks to an award-winning brewmaster, as well as full bars and NOLA-influenced cuisine. 1902 E. 7th Ave., Ybor City. 813-252- 4541, facebook.com/ Zydecobrewwerks
cltampa.com | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2020 | 27
NEW FROM THE VAULT. NOW AT THE DALÍ
Exploring religion, mythology and mysticism, this exhibit features over 50 mixed-media works that showcase Salvador Dalí’s own spiritual pursuit & the universal human aspiration to connect with a world beyond. Visit The Dalí responsibly Wed-Sun. Advance tickets now required. Learn more at TheDali.org/Safe.
28 | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2020 | cltampa.com
MOVIES THEATER ART CULTURE
Do your part
A few easy ways to help the local arts scene.
I
n recent years, CL’s Fall Arts issue has been an often-themed and robust volume which spans multiple sections and leaves dozens of events and arts-related items on the cutting room floor. It’d be an understatement to say that 2020 feels different. Last year’s motif (finding art in the great outdoors) is more apropos than ever considering the fact that performing arts venues—most notably theatres and rooms exclusively devoted to booking live music and national touring acts—have been shuttered since March. But just because so many of the arts are on hold or operating in a limited capacity doesn’t mean they aren’t there; artists of every discipline are still everywhere working to make a living—and with municipal operating budgets set to see devastating cuts due to lost tax revenue, local artists need you to lift them up in unprecedented ways. We hope a coronavirus vaccine and more responsible decision making in Tallahassee and among our neighbors means we can all get together more safely soon—but in the meantime here are just a few ways to support your local arts scene. See even more in the web version of this post at cltampa.com/arts.
stay outside. Thankfully Shine Mural Festival is back for a seven-day run that starts on Nov. 7. For Floridian artists, a COVID-19 silver lining comes in the form of travel restrictions, which means that Shine—which normally hosts muralists from across the continent—is going all-Sunshine State for its lineup. And if you can’t leave the house at all, there’s a Pixelstix app, which brings 80 murals from past Shine Mural Festivals to life. The update to the Pixelstix app allows users to view the St. Pete Art Alliance’s new “Drive-In Mural Theater,” which consists of a three-to-five-minute narration about the work and information about the artist.
MFA ST. PETERSBURG
By Ray Roa
FALL ARTS
Come out There’s never been a shortage of ways to support Tampa Bay’s LGBTQ+ artists, and this fall is no exception. One show to watch for is John Gascotcurated “Latinx Presente” at St. Petersburg’s new Ekeko Gallery where issues like immigration, COVID-19, mental health, BLM, LGBTQ rights, Latinx voices in community and politics and beyond through a Latinx lens will all be addressed in works showing from Oct. 15-Nov. 15. You can also support the Gay Men’s Chorus of Tampa Bay (or try out for it starting Sept. 1). And if you’re the pageant type, then tune into Come Out St. Pete’s virtual drag contest happening now until Sept. 7 where there are cash prized in the drag queen, king, trans and non-binary categories. Keep your ear open for developments out of Gulfport’s ReadOut Festival of Literature, too. Stay out And while we feel pretty safe going to local museums, we totally get that you might want to just
Dress up CL talked about the show last week, but here’s a friendly reminder that Macy Higgins and Emiliano Settecasi’s new “Homecoming” show at St. Petersburg’s Mize Gallery promises “high school dance aesthetics, puppy love sensibilities, and ostentatious camp style by combining LED neon, plywood cutouts, and an inordinate amount of mylar fringe” for you and a small handful of your friends. Dress up in your high school formal best and get a do-over on the dance. Do Dunedin There’s no shortage of artisans in Dunedin. Maybe they’re culinary ones (find the Borajkiewicz power couple at the Restorative or their new Side Piece concept) or artists-in-training (the Dunedin Fine Art Center’s classes are back!). And if you need in-real-life live music, Dunedin Brewery started doing limited seating only shows—table reservations required, which go directly to the band—and streaming them for the rest to enjoy. Find your museum It should be no secret, but Tampa Bay’s museums have the social distancing restrictions dialed in thanks to limited capacity, reservations, temperature checks, mask polices—the works. What’s more is that they’re all in the middle of amazing exhibitions, too, including a centennial at Tampa Museum of Art and several noteworthy exhibitions at FMoPA (see “Eye of the Storm”). Of special note is the reopening of the Museum
FLOAT ON: Derrick Adams’ ‘Floater 80’ of Fine Arts in St. Petersburg, which closed its doors and has been operating online. That changes next month when contemporary artist Derrick Adams opens “Buoyant”—which “reveals the carefree, joyful leisure scene of Black life that so often go unseen”—on September 12. The show was delayed due to COVID-19, but the wait’ll be worth it since it’s Adams’ first major solo exhibition in the Southeast. Hang out with the rejects When the City of Tampa more or less shrugged after an aesthetically and symbolically hideous “Bock the Blop” mural popped up (more on p. 10), unpermitted in downtown, local activists and artists were pissed. On one hand, it was a slap in the face of the Black Lives Matter movement which is fighting for a more equitable, less dangerous world for people born with Black skin (by contrast, cops choose to wear the blue shirt)—and on another hand, the public art/vandalism infuriated many local artists who’ve seen countless proposals and pitches shot down by big, municipal clients like the City of Tampa. Rejections normally don’t get publicized, and having a proposal turned down is pretty common these days, but Seminole Heights’ Livework Studios is currently showing off highlights from a 25 years of rejected work this fall as part of an online “Salon de Refusés” exhibition. “And we’re not the only ones. We’ll
be soliciting rejected proposals from all over the city so that we can all see what might have been. And what might still be—if only we had the vision, the courage, and compassion that it takes to support artists and art that’s not just good, but that’s GOOD FOR PEOPLE,” the studio wrote. “Black people. Trans people. Poor people. Homeless people. Our city’s people.” lvwrk.com Hang tight Baked into every conversation about all the arts in Tampa Bay—especially when large events like Gasparilla arts month events are involved—is whether or not there’ll be a vaccine or if our municipalities will even issue permits far enough in advance for a nonprofit to even start planning a large scale event. So hanging tight, and waiting, is just part of the game now. Still, there’s a lot to look forward to. And two projects on opposite sides of the Bay—St. Petersburg’s Fairgrounds experimental art exhibition at The Factory plus V.M. Ybor’s Crab Devil and its Florida-centric immersive art experience “The Peninsularium”—look like the kind of revelations that will continue to make the Bay area a worldwide arts destination.
“Artists of every discipline are still everywhere working to make a living.”
Laugh Comedy clubs, like so many other performance venues, are simply scrapping right now. When continued on page 31
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continued from page 29 asked about how someone can support their local comic and the stages who host them, CL comedy writer Michael Murillo put it plainly: “Honestly, go to a show. Any show. Any club, any showtime,” he said. “It doesn’t matter who the comedian is. Don’t wait for a big name. Businesses are hurting and comedians miss the stage. Your presence matters.” Mask up… Designers have long faced an uphill battle in Tampa Bay. Prices for high fashion are a hurdle since the mall and Amazon have made circumnavigating the cost to pay someone a living wage so easy, and so many designers bolt for other markets. In a strange way, the coronavirus and need for masks changed that. Tampa designer Kyle Kilgore saw an uptick in commissions for his haute face covers (some Orville Peck-inspired), and he hopes this new trend—Tampa locals actually referring each other to local designers, and actively searching for locally made garments—isn’t a trend because designers will still desperately need you when the ‘rona finally clears. Go to the movies And not the 15-cent ones at AMC either. As it waits for the all clear to host patrons in real life, Tampa Theatre, the jewel of downtown, virtually screens about two dozen different films—from music documentaries, to kids movies, indie flicks and more—nightly. And once you’ve seen them all, the nearly century-old movie palace will sell you a marquee message, giving you a chance to help the nonprofit keep the lights on. And if you must go see a movie in real life, Clearwater’s Capitol Theatre will welcome, and socially distance your masked ass, through its doors for a classic movie series that kicks off on September 8.
Save your seat While businesses across the country are slowly reopening, Broadway is still a ghost town and the future of local live theater—from small community one to the large professional ones—remains on extended intermission during the pandemic. While the stage is dark and reopening dates are unknown, theaters throughout Tampa Bay have stepped outside of their comfort zones to connect with their audiences virtually. Head to cltampa.com and find Deb Kelley’s “Here’s how to stay connected to more than 30 Tampa Bay theater companies during coronavirus” article to learn more about helping out this vital arm of the local arts scene. Stream something In-real-life live music is happening in Tampa Bay, but it’s not happening at non-restaurant, music-specific venues that booked touring acts pre-pandemic. If you are looking for some live music in-person we’d suggest dinner shows at places like Ella’s in Seminole Heights, New World Brewery in Sulphur Springs, Ruth Eckerd Halls grand lobby or the Largo Cultural Center. And while scene staple Crowbar is giving it another go by testing out a new, ticketed format for its Ol’ Dirty Sundays patio party, most live music venues of any size are still dark. That doesn’t mean there isn’t music to watch. Countless musicians have gone the live stream route, but a few entities have taken it upon themselves to provide the hardware to do it; bookmark sites like DTSP Live, FWD Thinkers and Tampa Sessions to see some of the best. And if you’re looking to support the jazz scene, then check out Clearwater Jazz Holiday’s new streaming sessions and lessons to see how the nonprofit is propping up the Bay area’s young lions.
DTSP LIVE/FACEBOOK
DOWN THE STREAM: Ella Jet playing a ‘DTSP Live: Saved by Streaming’ session.
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GUEST COLUMN REVIEWS PROFILES MUSIC WEEK
Sticking together
‘Joe Biden has a speech impediment. I do too.’ By Joseph Roma impediment to a national audience could ever be made fun of or laughed at, but I know he has been, because all stutterers have been. Yet while stuttering can be debilitating, it’s in no way indicative of mental deficiency. Most stutterers are bright individuals who, if given the correct support structure, can go on to do great things. From Winston Churchill to Jimmy Stewart, from James Earl Jones to Marilyn Monroe, from King George VI to Samuel L. Jackson, stutterers are world leaders and famous actors. They are kings and emperors, titans of industry and entertainers. I knew Joe Biden stuttered before it became common knowledge. Like I said, stuttering is never “cured,” and the bond of shared experience
without resorting to the school recess bully’s favorite tactics. Having a speech impediment is hard enough without such stresses. As a fellow stutterer, I am incredibly proud of Brayden for being such a strong young man and for not letting his speech impediment stop him from living the life he wants. I can only hope I show the same strength in my life and can be the example he is. And I am proud of Joe Biden for not letting people’s vial and negative implications because of his speech impediment keep him from being a man who still cares for someone like Brayden, and someone like me. We stutterers, after all, have to stick together.
“It is totally legitimate to have honest policy and ideological differences without resorting to the school recess bully’s favorite tactics.”
SILENT J STUDIO C/O ROW JOMAH
I
t started off innocuous enough. Someone would approach, ask me a question, wait for an answer and leave. Sometime later, maybe passing in the hall, I would be stopped by a group of kids who had questions of their own. After awhile, it became strange. These folks were obviously seniors (in my private Catholic high school, seniors had the privilege of wearing different shirts). I thought, “I am a freshman. Shouldn’t they know the answers to the questions they’re asking?” Editor’s note: Joe Roma is the frontman for Clearwater rock outfit Row Jomah. It didn’t take long before I realized, “Oh, of course. They’re asking me questions to hear me stutter.” Because I, in fact, am and for all my life have been, a stutterer; in many ways worse than some, yet also better than some. Something like 90% of stutterers will more or less grow out of it by adulthood. I guess I was just lucky. But no stutterer is ever “cured.” It is a lifelong struggle even for those who are able to mostly control it. For stutterers of any severity, the anxiety of knowing that your next word, perfectly formed in your head and waiting to come out, may not make it past your lips without a series of contortions, ticks, drawn out letters or sometimes no sound at all, can be unbearable. Worse yet, once you’re free and clear to the other side of your stutter, is the reaction of others. Sometimes a smile will cross their face, usually not malicious but uncontrollable. Sometimes instead of a smile you’ll get a frown, or their eyes will dart around the room for anything else to look at. Meant in comfort as it may be, sympathy is always the worst for me. I knew deep down, they felt “sorry” for me and assumed some mental issue was the route cause of my stutter. Watching the Democratic National Convention, one of the presenters was a 13-year-old boy from New Hampshire. Brayden Harrington is a stutterer, and incredibly brave as he was, I know he has experienced all these things, too. It’s hard to believe this wonderful young man who spoke so eloquently about his speech
amongst stutterers is such that, where most of the world sees a twist of the tongue or pensive pause, we know what is really afoot. And I know that when Joe Biden’s political opponents point to his stuttering as evidence of him losing his mental acuity—while this attack is no different from the multitude of times all stutterers have been denigrated for their impediment, it makes it no less disgusting. Through no fault of his own, Joe Biden was born a stutterer and will be one for the rest of his life. That he has not let it defeat him, and in fact has lived a life full of purpose and good character should be celebrated, no belittled. It is totally legitimate to have honest policy and ideological differences
JOE, JOE, JOE: Joe Roma (L) during a holiday show at Dunedin Brewery.
cltampa.com | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2020 | 35
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Where the vinyl is: a list of Bay area record stores
It’s no secret that locally-owned and operated businesses are taking a hit from coronavirus closures and curfews. Some Tampa Bay record stores have adapted by offering curbside pickup, free shipping and private shopping during the COVID-19 pandemic. Stock up on some quarantine vinyl, and spend that money you were saving for the now postponed Record Store Day 2020. Just make sure to call ahead of time to see what’s up at the shop. —Kyla Fields ArtPool Records (2030 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-433-5195, artpoolrules. com
Daddy Kool Records (2430 Terminal Dr. S., Side B, St. Petersburg) 727-822-5665, daddykool.com
Kingfish Records (Main Store) (26024-B US Highway 19 N., Clearwater) 727-351-5177, kingfishrecords.com
Sound Exchange Tampa (14246 N. Nebraska Ave., Tampa) 813-978-9316, soundexchangetampabay.com
Asylum Sights and Sounds (6566 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-384-1221
Disc Exchange (6712 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-343-5845, thediscexchange. com
Kingfish Records (Flea Market) (180 Race Track Rd., Tampa) 727-455-9923, kingfishrecords.com
Sound Exchange Pinellas Park (66th Street N and 86th Avenue N., Pinellas Park) 727-545-0042, soundexchangetampabay.com
Dunedin Records & Audio (757 Main St., Dunedin) 727-423-4108, dunedinrecords.com
Microgroove (906 N. Florida Ave., Tampa) 813-667-7089, microgroovetampa.co
St. Pete Records (6648 Central Ave., St. Petersburg) 727-490-8861, stpeterecords.com
Mojo Books & Records (2540 E. Fowler Ave., Tampa) 813-971-9717, mojotampa.com
Steelworker Records (708 W. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., Tampa) 813-666-4933, steelworkerrecords.com
Bananas Records (2887 22nd Ave N., St. Petersburg) 727-327-4616 ext. 1, bananasrecords.com
Bananas Records Warehouse (2226 16th Dustin’s Vinyl Shop (180 Race Track Rd., Ave. N., St. Petersburg) 727 327-4616 ext. 2, Booth F25 W, Oldsmar) 727-678-6829, bananasrecords.com facebook.com/pg/dustinsvinylshop Blue Moon Antiques, Books & Music Green Shift Music & Comics (5713 N. (1413 Cleveland St., Clearwater) 727-443-7444 Nebraska Ave., Tampa) 813-238-4177, greenshiftmusicandcomics.com The Clearwater Record Shop (1610 N. Hercules Ave., Clearwater) 727-755-1201, Hello Darlin’ Records (Roving VW Camper) clearwaterrecordshow.com 727-479-6783, hellodarlinrecords.com
Patrick’s Book and Record Store (15215 US Hwy.19 C, Hudson) 727-868-3168, patricksbooksandre.wixsite.com/patricks Planet Retro Records (226 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. St. N., St. Petersburg) 727-2187434, planetretrorecords.com
Unique Music & Collectables (123 Main St., Dunedin) 727-240-0757 Vintage Vinyl (38874 U.S. 19 N., Tarpon Springs) 727-940-8301, vintagevinyl.biz
cltampa.com | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2020 | 37
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Virgo
dismiss all the questions you have been asking up until now.
The maiden. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Self-love is also CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): At age 22, future remembering to let others love you. Come out of pioneer of science Isaac Newton got his college hiding.” Poet Irisa Yardenah wrote that advice, degree just as the Great Plague peaked in 1665. and now I’m passing it on to you, just in time As a safety precaution, he proceeded to quaranfor a phase when you will benefit from it most. I tine himself for many months. During that time mean, it’s always good counsel for you to Virgos of being sealed away, he made spectacular disto heed. But it will be especially crucial in the coveries about optics, gravity, and calculus—in coming weeks, when dramatic contrast to his you’ll have extra potenyears as a student, when tial to bloom in response his work had been relato love. And one of the tively undistinguished. best ways to ensure this I’m not predicting that By Rob Brezsny extra potential is fulyour experience of the filled is to make yourself thoroughly available 2020 pandemic will prove to be as fruitful as to be appreciated, understood, and cared for. those of your fellow Capricorn, Isaac Newton. But of all the signs in the zodiac, I do think your LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran poet Wallace output could be most Newton-like. Stevens wrote that if you want to be original, And the coming weeks will you must “have the courage to be an amateur.” be a good time for you to I agree! And that’s an important theme for you redouble your efforts to right now, since you’re entering a phase when generate redemption your original ideas will be crucial to your growth. amidst the chaos. So listen up, Libra: If you want to stimulate your creatively to the max, adopt the fresh-eyed AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The attitude of a rookie or a novice. Forget what you rapper named Viper has released think you know about everything. Make yourself over 1,000 albums. In 2014 alone, as innocently curious and eager as possible. Your he created 347. His most popuimaginative insights and innovations will flow in lar work is You’ll Cowards Don’t abundance to the degree that you free yourself Even Smoke Crack, which has from the obligation to be serious and sober and received over three million views professional. And keep in mind that Stevens said on Youtube. According to The you need courage to act this way. Chicago Reader, one of Viper’s most appealing features is his “blatant SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “As idiotic as opti- disregard for grammar.” I should mism can sometimes seem, it has a weird habit also mention that he regards himof paying off,” writes author Michael Lewis. self as the second Christ, and uses According to my analysis, the coming weeks will the nickname “Black Jesus.” So provide you with ample evidence that proves his what does any of this have to do hypothesis—on one condition, that is: You will with you? Well, I’m recommendhave to cultivate and express a thoughtful kind ing that you be as prolific, in your of optimism. Is that possible? Do you have the own field, as he is in his. I’m also audacity to maintain intelligent buoyancy and inviting you to experiment with discerning positivity, even in the face of those having a fun-loving disregard for who might try to gaslight you into feeling stupid grammar and other non-critical for being buoyant and positive? I think you do. rules. And I would love to see you temporarily adopt some of his overSAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Author Rebecca the-top braggadocio. Solnit writes, “The things we want are transformative, and we don’t know or only think we know PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “If you don’t ask the what is on the other side of that transformation.” right question, every answer seems wrong,” Her statement is especially apropos for you right says singer-songwriter Ani DiFranco. I suspect now. The experiences you’re yearning for will you may have experienced a version of that preindeed change you significantly if you get them— dicament in recent weeks, Pisces. That’s the even though those changes will be different from bad news. The good news is that I expect you what your conscious mind thinks they’ll be. But will finally formulate the right questions very don’t worry. Your higher self—the eternal part soon. They will most likely be quite different of you that knows just what you need—is fully from the wrong and irrelevant questions you’ve aware of the beneficial transformations that will been posing. In fact, the best way to find the come your way when you get what you yearn for. revelatory questions will be to renounce and
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries author Kareem Abdul-Jabbar writes, “Some stuff can be fixed, some stuff can’t be. Deciding which is which is part of maturing.” I offer this meditation as your assignment in the coming weeks, Aries. You are in a phase when you’ll be wise to make various corrections and adjustments. But you should keep in mind that you don’t have unlimited time and energy to do so. And that’s OK, because some glitches can’t be repaired and others aren’t fully worthy of your passionate intensity. You really should choose to focus on the few specific acts of mending and healing that will serve you best in the long run. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “There are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same love twice,” wrote author F. Scott Fitzgerald. This
is true even between the same two people in an intimate alliance with each other. The love that you and your spouse or friend or close relative or collaborator exchanged a month ago isn’t the same as it is now. It *can’t* be identical, because then it wouldn’t be vibrant, robust love, which needs to ceaselessly transform in order to be vibrant and robust. This is always true, of course, but will be an especially potent meditation for you during the next four weeks. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): As a professional writer, novelist Thomas Wolfe trained himself
to have keen perceptions that enabled him to penetrate below surface appearances. And yet he wrote, “I have to see a thing a thousand times before I see it once.” In other words, it was hard even for him, a highly trained observer, to get a deep and accurate read of what was going on. It required a long time and many attempts—and rarely occurred for him on the first look. Even if you’re not a writer, Gemini, I recommend his approach for you in the coming weeks. You will attune yourself to current cosmic rhythms—and thus be more likely to receive their full help and blessings—if you deepen and refine the way you use your senses. CANCER (June 21-July 22): It’s sometimes tempting for you to seek stability and safety by remaining just the way you are. When life pushes you to jump in and enjoy its wild ride, you may imagine it’s wise to refrain—to retreat to your sanctuary and cultivate the strength that comes from being staunch and steadfast and solid. Sometimes that approach does indeed work for you. I’m not implying it’s wrong or bad. But in the coming weeks, I think your strategy should be different. The advice I’ll offer you comes from Cancerian author and aviator Anne Morrow Lindbergh: “Only in growth, reform, and change, paradox ically enough, is true security to be found.” LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “To be successful, the first thing to do is fall in love with your work,” says author Sister Mary Lauretta. Have you been making progress in accomplishing that goal, Leo? According to my astrolog ical analysis, fate has been offering and will continue to offer you the chance to either find work that you’ll love better than the work you’re doing, or else discover how to feel more love and excitement for your existing work. Why not intensify your efforts to cooperate with fate?
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Tall order I’m a cis male in my late-20s. I’ve recently become consumed by a specific fantasy I fear is unattainable, a fear that has been made worse by several failed attempts to research it. A little background: Except for a couple dates and make-out sessions with other men, my sex life has always been exclusively with women. I’ve had male crushes and often thought I might be bi or pan, despite never masturbating to thoughts of men or gay porn. (Don’t worry, Dan: I’m not going to ask if I’m gay. I promise.) In general, I’ve led a privileged sex life. I’ve never been broken up with and it’s rare for me to experience any form of rejection. But in early 2020, my libido vanished. I stopped masturbating and only orgasmed once or twice a month when my now ex-girlfriend would insist that we have sex. But then a couple of weeks ago I began imagining being one half of a loving gay couple that replaced all MM penetrative sex with MMF sex. My sex life with my male partner would revolve around the two of us going out and finding submissive women for kinky threesomes. Since then, I’ve been masturbating to this fantasy daily and I’m excited at the possibility of finding a new lifestyle that brings me a lot of joy. However, I’ve grown concerned that nothing else seems to turn me on at all. Equally as concerning, even minor adjustments to this fantasy ruins the whole thing. And to fulfill it I’d need a man who’s at least all of the following: 1. Sensitive, giving, easy-going, and an allaround good guy. 2. Very physically attractive. 3. Into cuddling and general affection, some make-out sessions, and occasional hand jobs and blow jobs—but absolutely no penetrative sex or anal play. 4. Into picking up submissive women for MMF threesomes. 5. Into penetrative sex with said women. 6. Into using roleplay and D/s to take out our kinks on said women. 7. Into giving me the more dominant role. Now for my questions: Does anyone like this actually exist? Is there a name for the fetish I’m describing? Does it have a community? Is it similar to any more accessible fetishes out there? Does my loss of libido and this specific fantasy say something about me that I’m too close to see? —Can Anyone Tell Me Anything Now
lots of people into D/s get off on talking about their kinks—BB or TT or CBT—as if they’re things a sadistic Dom gets off on doing to a helpless sub. That’s the fantasy, CATMAN, but in reality, the Dom and sub discuss their desires in advance, identify areas of overlap, and set limits. (Not just bottoms; tops have limits too.) However brutal things may look to someone who wasn’t a part of those negotiations, however degrading things might sound, kink play is consensual and mutually pleasurable—and if it’s not consensual and mutually pleasurable, CATMAN, then it’s not kink play. It’s sexual assault. Again, maybe it was a slip of the tongue and I’m being a dick; you did mention a desire to find submissive women, CATMAN, which most likely means you were planning to seek out women who wanna be “used and abused” by two hot bi guys in love. And you’re in luck: there are definitely women out there who would be into this scenario—some readers probably went all WAP reading your question—but you’re unlikely to meet those women on a night out. Meaning, you shouldn’t be thinking about casually picking women up, CATMAN, but rather cultivating connections online or at kink events with submissive women who would get into subbing for you and your imaginary boyfriend. Finding a guy who meets your long list of particulars is a taller order. It frankly doesn’t sound like you’re looking for a partner, i.e. someone whose needs you want to meet, but rather a guy you can plug into your masturbatory fantasies. He’s gotta be bi but not into butt stuff, a good guy, a hot guy, a sub where you’re concerned and a Dom where women are concerned… and any deviation from that long list not only disqualifies him from consideration for your life partner-in-crime, making each and every item on that long list a deal breaker. Relationships require compromise, CATMAN, no one gets everything they want, and a long list of deal breakers makes for even longer odds. If you can’t budge on any of the items on your list… well, then you might wanna think about getting yourself a sex doll or two. You also might wanna give some thought not just to your long and rigid list of deal breakers, but to why that list is so long and rigid that you’re unlikely—as you suspect—to ever find someone. Zooming out… You say your libido tanked in early 2020, CATMAN, and studies show you’re not alone. The twin pandemics—the COVID-19 pandemic and the stupidity pandemic—have tanked a lot of people’s libidos. So, if this fantasy is working for you right now, I think you
SAVAGE LOVE
First and most importantly, CATMAN, kinks aren’t things you “take out” on other people. They’re things you share and enjoy with other people. Perhaps that “take out on” was a slip of the tongue or a little premature dirty talk;
JOE NEWTON
By Dan Savage
should lean into it. It may be a tall order, it may be so unrealistic as to be unachievable, but indulging in this very specific fantasy has cracked your libido open and continuing to beat off about this fantasy might blow your libido wide open. I don’t like to pathologize people’s kinks or attach meaning to what are usually arbitrary, random, and inexplicable sexual interests. But the taller the order, the less likely it can be filled, CATMAN, and it’s possible you may not want it filled at all—at least subconsciously, at least right now. Sometimes when sex is scary we obsess about fantasies that are impossible to realize or partners who’re impossible to find because it allows us to avoid partnered sex. I know at the height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic I was obsessed with a guy I couldn’t have because it got me off the hook. My list of deal breakers at that time was ironically pretty short:
He had to be Tommy. If he wasn’t Tommy, I wasn’t interested. Tommy was amazing— totally obsession-worthy—and I did love him. But I know now that I threw myself into my obsession with Tommy to protect myself from a terrifying epidemic. Maybe you’re doing something similar, CATMAN. But if I’m wrong—if this is what you want—there are cities out there with kink communities large enough for two partnered bi guys to find a steady stream of submissive women who wanna sub for them. But your list of deal breakers is going to have to shrink if you ever hope to find a guy who’s close to what you want. And that’s all any of us ever gets, CATMAN. Something close. Contact mail@savagelove.net, follow @ FakeDanSavage on Twitter, and learn learn all about cuckolding on savagelovecast.com.
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creative loafing puzzler THE MATURING CANDIDATE by Merl Reagle
49 Like Prufrock’s “claws” 50 Messing of Will & Grace 51 Unyielding 52 Bonanza costar 53 Rode the clouds 54 Middle of the quip 58 Analyzes, as a sentence 59 Analyzes, as a rock 60 Theater award 61 Quick-reference guide 62 Some protests 63 Race car track 67 Hard-to-beat quartet 68 Big name in cough drops 69 They’re busy 70 Hasten 71 Boggy place 72 Gambols 73 Bliss and others 74 Supreme goddess 75 Carpenter and Allen 76 Actress Zasu 77 ^ 78 Noisy nappers 80 Sheets you can see through 81 Lingers like a chopper 82 Ready 83 Of hearing 84 Bandleader Sammy 85 End of the quip 92 Liquid measure 93 Lighter fuel 94 Displayed prominently 95 Home of the cubs? 96 And the Band Played On author Randy 97 A little night music
ACROSS 1 African emperor, 1935-74 9 Took five 15 Poison’s opposite, in a saying 19 Daytime funny lady, once 20 Pacific Ocean phenom 21 Blackjack imperative 22 Start of a typical quip by Jay Leno during the 1996 presidential campaign—if he had been a puzzle fan (with apologies to a certain candidate) 25 Pinnacle 26 Ruined 27 Collar 28 Telemarketing tools 31 Paid parker 32 Home wreckers 34 Offer one's 22 cents? 35 Exclusive, as some communities 36 Dr. Seuss’s real name 37 Penny-___ 38 Some of Dracula’s dry-cleaning 39 Window in a sloping roof 40 Moon lander, briefly 43 Contented comment? 44 Legitimate 45 Popular champagne brand 46 Taylor’s deputy 47 Drew (off) 1
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PUZZLE FANS ! For info on Merl's Sunday crossword anthologies, visit www.sunday crosswords.com.
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78 Coppola who wrote/ directed Lost in Translation 79 Ness nemesis Frank 80 Of an insect stage 81 Viking of the comics 82 Sampling of opinion 83 Italian wine city 84 Bury My Heart at Wounded ___ 86 Diet ctr. loss 87 “Come on, who doesn’t know that?” 88 First of three excuses? 89 “Are you a man ___ mouse?” 90 Spearheaded 91 Gen.-turned-pres.
Solution to Shades of St. Patrick's Day
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DOWN 1 Turn on the waterworks 2 Tokyo’s old name 3 Lofting shot 4 Moderate in tempo 5 Fact-checking site 6 Women’s U.S. Open champ, 1991-92 7 Holly genus 8 Mr. Whitney 9 Used-car transactions 10 Fled to wed 11 Rhino’s nose 12 Joust 13 Point of no return 14 Period 15 Heart part, the ___ valve 16 Mrs. Kennedy 17 Wrong 18 Challenge 21 More challenging 23 Had an ice day? 24 Gingerbread house captive 28 Carnaby Street carriages 29 Vietnam city 30 In the lead 31 Dull 32 Popular garden ornamental 33 Pointed (at) 35 Lead ore 36 Medusa and her sisters 38 Basic rules 39 Oppressively hot period of summer 40 Zodiac sign 41 Zimbalist of The FBI 42 Anthropologist Margaret 44 Maelstrom 45 Bob and Liddy, e.g. 46 Intimidating
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