Creative Loafing Tampa — December 14, 2023

DECEMBER 14-20, 2023 (VOL.36, NO.50) • $FREE CREATIVE LOAFING - CLTAMPABAY.COM

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PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa

RAY ROA

Editorial DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf MANAGING EDITOR Kyla Fields THEATER CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge FILM & TV CRITIC John W. Allman IN-HOUSE WITCH Caroline DeBruhl CONTRIBUTORS Josh Bradley, Chelsea Zukowski PHOTOGRAPHERS Nick Cardello, Dave Decker, Chelsea Zukowski FALL INTERN Inquire by emailing rroa@cltampa.com Creative Services CREATIVE DIRECTOR Jack Spatafora GRAPHIC DESIGNER Joe Frontel ILLUSTRATORS Dan Perkins, Cory Robinson, Bob Whitmore Advertising SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda Events and Marketing MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS DIRECTOR Leigh Wilson MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS COORDINATOR Kristin Bowman SOCIAL MEDIA AND MARKETING MANAGER Corrie Miserendino

We never said we were guilty of anything, except doing the right thing.

Circulation CIRCULATION MANAGER Ted Modesta

chavagroup.com cltampabay.com cldeals.com EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa Bay is a publication covering public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum. They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

Creative Loafing Tampa is published by Tampa Events & Media, LLC, 633 N Franklin St., Suite 735. Tampa, Florida, 33602.

State Attorney has a plan to drop charges for the Tampa 5, p. 17.

NEWS+VIEWS ���������������� 17

The collection includes deep dives into the state’s history and more.

FOOD & DRINK �������������� 25 BOOKS ISSUE ���������������� 29 MUSIC WEEK ����������������� 51 ORACLE OF YBOR ���������� 59

FLORIDA MEMORY

Chava Communications Group FOUNDER, CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Michael Wagner CO-FOUNDER, CHIEF MARKETING OFFICER Cassandra Yardeni Wagner OPERATIONS DIRECTOR Hollie Mahadeo DIRECTOR OF AGENCY SERVICES Mindi Overman SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR Meradith Garcia DIRECTOR OF DIGITAL CONTENT STRATEGY Colin Wolf ART DIRECTOR David Loyola DIGITAL OPERATIONS COORDINATOR Jaime Monzon

‘Once Upon a Time in Florida’ among best books of 2023, p. 45.

SAVAGE LOVE ��������������� 61 CROSSWORD ����������������� 62

The physical edition is available free of charge at locations throughout Tampa Bay and online at cltampabay.com. Copyright 2023, Tampa Events and Media, LLC. The newspaper is produced and printed on Indigenous land belonging to Tampa Bay’s Tocobaga and Seminole tribes.

ON THE COVER: Photo by Chelsea Zukowski. Design by Joe Frontel.

Our main number: (813) 739-4800 Letters to the editor: comments@cltampa.com Anonymous news tips: cltampabay_tips@protonmail.com

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NICK CARDELLO

/food NYE listings /music Floridian Social for sale /news All bad /arts Local mural wall calendar /slideshows Highballers

SPONSORED CONTENT PRESENTED BY BLISS WELLNESS

Beacon of Bliss

Tampa wellness shop is more than a store—it's an experience.

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n the ever-evolving world of wellness, where health trends rise and fall like tides, one establishment stands out as a beacon of holistic health and education: Bliss Wellness Market.

Beyond being just a store, Bliss has carved out a niche as the Nordstrom of Wellness, aligning itself with the iconic department store's commitment to customer service, unique product assortment, educated staff, and a comfortable environment. However, what sets Bliss apart is its singular focus on holistic well-being, making it a one-of-a-kind destination for those seeking not just products but a comprehensive journey into natural wellness.

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Good news Photos by Dave Decker

A

lbum releases aren’t uncommon in Tampa Bay’s vibrant local music scene, but not every show feels like a catharsis. Last Friday night did, with hundreds filing into Crowbar in Ybor City for a night of heavy-hitting rap and pop-punk all punctuated by a powerhouse set featuring big sing-alongs and bouncy mosh pits in celebration of Pet Lizard’s punchy new album, Intrusive Thoughts. See more photos via cltampa.com/slideshows.—Ray Roa

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do this

Tampa Bay's best things to do from December 14 - 20

Elemental

Times vary by day. No cover. Artists of Elements, 4746 22nd Ave. S, St. Petersburg.

Artistsofelements.com—Kyla Fields

Winter in the Wood: Sunday, December 17th. Noon-5 p.m. No cover. Seminole Park, 2900 3rd Ave. N, St. Petersburg. Kenwoodartistenclave.org—Kyla Fields

Cookie youngsters

‘The Great Christmas Cookie Bake-Off’: Friday-Sunday, Dec. 15-17. 45-$50. Stageworks Theatre, 1120 E Kennedy Blvd. no. 151, Tampa. stageworkstheatre.org—Ray Roa

STAGE PHOTOGRAPHY OF TAMPA BAY

Local high school students—including Alex Rodriguez, Jordan Mason, Hayden Brown-Wahlgren and Jaiden Gray, pictured left to right—make their professional acting debuts in a show based around cooking game show reality TV. “The Great Christmas Cookie Bake-Off” features kids from from Blake, Plant and Robinson, plus more from the Patel Conservatory at the Straz Center, in a light-hearted musical where bakers compete, only to cook up the surprising real meaning of Christmas. “This musical is about a group of unique characters who discover themselves and the power of friendship while also celebrating the magic and traditions of the season and the joy of coming together,” Karla Hartley, Stageworks Theatre’s Producing Artistic Director wrote.

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CITYOFSTPETE/FLICKR

Artist of Elements grand opening: Friday-Sunday, Dec. 15-Dec. 17.

The Artist Enclave of Historic Kenwood hosts the second installment of its holiday celebration, and the free-to-attend celebration is stacked with kid-friendly activities, live music, exhibits and performances from the enclave’s artists, food trucks and a holiday-themed maker’s market perfect for some last-minute Christmas shopping.

This “quaint winter festival” will also be graced by Santa himself, so you don’t have to wait in that mall line to get those beloved Christmas photos. Just a few of the local arts and crafts businesses at its holiday market include Pam’s Pottery Works, The lil Greenhouse Crochets, SunCoast Crafts and Fox & Crow Paper Co., while food and drink vendors include N/A beverage spot Herban Flow, Floribbean-fusion food truck, La Petite France, Untamed Coffee and La Strada Mobile Kitchen. Folks are welcome to bring blankets and lawn chairs to this park-hosted holiday event.

ARTISTSOFELEMENTS/FACEBOOK

The cozy, waterfront town of Gulfport is home to various art studios and galleries, and its newest addition hosts a three daygrand opening party this weekend. Artists of Elements: the Gathering Place, which strives to “be a gathering place to foster the arts of all forms,” hosts a variety of artoriented festivities to celebrate the opening of its doors, which include a ribbon cutting with both the St. Pete and Gulfport Chambers, live music, book signings, local vendors, small bites, and the opportunity to sign up for the gallery’s new artistic workshops. Local residents and art enthusiasts Kathy Cregan and Ellen Newbauer soft opened their new gallery and community space in early November, and are finally ready to push their 6,000 square-foot space to its fullest potential. After this weekend’s grand opening, the Artists of Elements gallery will be open from 10 a.m- 6 p.m.

Wednesday-Sunday.

All good in the ‘wood

See more (and submit your event) @ cltampa.com

There’s a week-and-a-half left until Christmas, guys, and if you need to sit down but stay in the spirit, Tampa Theatre wants to get you through the home stretch with films like Will Ferrell’s “Elf” (Dec. 14), a weeklong run of the 1946 classic “It’s a Wonderful Life” (Dec. 15-21) and a Christmas Eve matinee screening of Irving Berlin’s “White Christmas.” A New Year’s Eve showing of "Rent" finishes the break out strong, and buying advance tickets is highly recommended.

Through Dec. 31. $7-$14.50.

Tampa Theatre, 711 N Franklin St., Tampa. tampatheatre.org

—Ray Roa

SKYLER JUNE

Silver bells, silver screen

2003 Till infinity

NEW LINE CINEMA

There’ve been countless amazing bites at Rooster & the Till over the last decade.

Apple spheres with cornbread squares and Mangalitsa pork belly, harissa smoked carrots with goat milk ricotta, that cobia collar, and the famous foie gras (pictured) with sous vide pear, cashew pear butter “nutella” and huckleberry gastrique (if you weren’t having that for dessert, what were you thinking??). The Seminole Heights pioneer of Michelin-worthy eats started with just 36 seats, induction burners, Etsy lighting and the backing of promissory notes, but has cemented its place in Tampa Bay’s gastronomic folklore and spawned a handful more concepts. The waitlist is open for the party this weekend. Congrats, gang.

10-year anniversary party w/DJ Blenda: Sunday, Dec. 17. 6 p.m. $50 (sold-out).

Rooster & the Till, 6500 N Florida Ave., Tampa. roosterandthetill.com—Ray Roa

Throw some bones

Pinellas Ale Works’ ‘Yappy Hour’: Thursday, Dec. 21. 6 p.m.-8 p.m. No cover. Pinellas Ale Works, 1962 1st Ave S, St. Petersburg. pawbeer.com—Kyla Fields

ANDREAOBZEROVA/ADOBE

Downtown St. Pete is home to a plethora of dog-friendly bars and breweries, but one business in particular consistently raises money for local shelters and rescue organizations throughout the year.

Pinellas Ale Works (commonly stylized as “PAW”) hosts a special, holiday-themed installment of its “Yappy Hour” fundraiser benefiting Tampa Bay Beagle Rescue Inc., a nonprofit “dedicated to the rescue, rehabilitation and re-homing of abused, neglected and at-risk beagles and beagle mix dogs.” A dollar from every beer sold between 6 p.m.-8 p.m. will be donated to the organization, and if you make a direct donation to TBBR, you can take a cute Christmas-themed photo with your pup.

TBBR is also raffling off a 360-degree Furbo dog camera to help raise more funds for its beagle-saving mission. PAW hosts its “Yappy Hour” each Thursday, benefitting a different rescue-focused organization each week.

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SPONSORED CONTENT PRESENTED BY WINTERDELIC

Fungus among us

Christian Rasmussen discusses the legal implications of entheogenic drugs.

By Teddy Duncan Jr.

P

from cannabis, it’s the most used psychoactive plant/fungi in ancient human history. There are mountains of data and evidence that support theories that amanita muscaria played an integral part in the forming of Christianity, or as the Vedic ‘drink of the Gods’ Soma. If you ask a child to draw a mushroom, whether they know anything about mushrooms or not, they will always draw the amanita muscaria.

I believe that it’s ingrained in our DNA. It’s a part of our collective history and has always been a pervasive image.

sychedelics occupy a peculiar status in American culture: simultaneously garnering serious media coverage, enjoying a resurgence in medical research, and increasing public interest while remaining federally illegal. There are some substances, though, that avoid the illicit fate of a federally scheduled drug. Right here in Tampa Bay, one can go into a shop and purchase amanita muscaria, a psychoactive “magic mushroom”—along with a partially regulated galaxy of cannabis derivatives like Delta-8 and HHC. Winterdelic, a cannabis and psychedelic wellness convention happening Dec. 16-17 at The Factory in St. Pete, is the perfect place to explore the world of psychedelics. The expo features over 50 vendors, holistic activities, music, and panels by experts and leaders in the psychedelic community. It’s sponsored by Soul Quest Ayahuasca Church of Mother Earth, which is also bringing Brother Ixã Txana from Huni Kuin to the U.S. for the very first time; Txana will give a talk at Winterdelic this weekend and be at Soul Quest Ayahuasca Church of Mother Earth for very special one night Ayahuasca ceremony.

Christian Rasmussen is the owner of MN Nice Ethnobotanicals, a retailer of entheogens based out of Minnesota, and will also be a speaker at Winterdelic. He shared insight into the legal implications of entheogenic drugs, personal healing experiences with psychedelics, and what makes amanita muscaria such a unique mushroom.

Yep! Amanita is entirely legal in all states but Louisiana. I think there are a handful of reasons for this, but the main reason is that it hasn’t been used as much as these other substances. Amanita was never really in the forefront of the psychedelic revolution like psilocybin mushrooms and LSD were. You didn’t hear about young adults taking large doses of amanita and going to festivals, so there wasn’t the impetus to schedule it.

What exactly are entheogens? What distinguishes them from other drugs, such as pharmaceuticals or everyday psychotropic substances like caffeine?

Entheogens are substances, typically plants, that elicit a spiritual or mystical experience in the user. Typical pharmaceutical drugs or psychotropic substances deal with the body and the mind. Entheogens deal with the mind and the spirit. Typical drugs are matter—entheogens are energy.

the large spotted cap is in Mario videogames, throughout my life up to this point I tried basi“Alice in Wonderland,” and is even an emoji. cally everything under the sun, except for Can you briefly break down the history of amanita. I found some growing by my parents’ amanita muscaria and how it became such a house and felt the strongest magnetism and pervasive image? attraction I had ever felt with a plant medicine. I found out This is a question we ask Winterdelic St. Pete: Holistic Health & it hits the GABA system and all the time, and there’s a lot Consciousness Convention of information still coming the glutamate system, which out. It grows on all conti- Saturday-Sunday, Dec. 16-17. $20 & up. are the two systems that benThe Factory and Fairgrounds St. Pete. nents besides antarctica. zodiazepines damage and 2622 Fairfield Ave. S, St. Petersburg. decided to try it. In the first It was most certainly used tampabaycannafest.com week of microdosing it felt in various shamanic and pagan rituals all over the world. In fact, its like my brain had healed 1-2 years’ worth, and use seems to be far more prevalent than every- I immediately realized the potential in this one initially thought, and it’s likely that aside misunderstood mushroom. Amanita Dreamer,

I’d always heard and read that amanita muscaria is a poisonous deliriant.

Brittanica, for instance, indexes it as a poisonous mushroom. Is this correct?

This really has to do with preparation. It is true that amanita muscaria is a deliriant, it very much affects the cholinergic system, but this isn’t prevalent until one gets into the higher doses (10g+). A lot of the negative experiences come from people picking amanita and eating it in its raw form or taking much too large of a dose. Amanita really shines in microdoses or low doses, and it needs to be fully dried before consuming. I think all the negative reports and anecdotes surrounding amanita are really from being misinformed and consuming too much, or not preparing it properly.

KONSTANTINS POBILOJS/ADOBE

Is amanita muscaria entirely legal? Why is that the case when other “magic” mushrooms are illegal?

Amanita muscaria is a culturally iconic mushroom—the red and white mushroom with

Why did you decide to become an entheogen retailer? What other entheogens does MN Nice Ethnobotanicals carry?

I was going through benzodiazepine withdrawal in 2019 when I found amanita. I’ve always been fascinated by plant allies, and

who is a good friend of mine, and is really the reason amanita is getting to the forefront of the collective human psyche, ended up asking me to start selling amanita here in the states because nobody reliable was doing it.

We carry a handful of other products, although not all of them are entheogens in the traditional sense. Blue lotus, Kava, Kanna, Silene capensis, Entada Rheedii, Wild Dagga are all products that we carry.

NO WONDERING: Amanita muscaria is a culturally iconic mushroom

What are the differences, pharmacologically (in terms of user-effects), between amanita and other (magic) mushrooms such as psilocybe cubensis?

Amanita muscaria hits the Gaba receptors, glutamate receptors, and cholinergic receptors. Traditional psychedelics affect the 5HT2A receptors.

Pharmacologically it’s completely different groups of neurotransmitters that are being affected.

In terms of effects, amanita is completely different than traditional psychedelics. It’s really in its own field. In lower doses one can expect traditional GABAergic effects such as relaxation, peacefulness—thought processes slow down and inhibitions are lowered—but there is also this calm focus coming from the minor glutamate stimulation and then this ability to tap into higher level thinking. It seems to connect people with their true selves, all while simultaneously working on clearing past traumas and issues. It’s really a magical, and quite enjoyable, experience. Consistent microdosing seems to integrate this aspect of oneself into their day to day, which can be incredibly transformative for people.

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POLITICS

ISSUES

OPINION

Not guilty

State Attorney outlines plan to drop charges on the Tampa 5.

By Ray Roa

A

RAY ROA

LET IT RING: Tampa 5 protesters announced their news on Dec. 6.

group of Tampa protesters, who were arrested in March at the University of South Florida during a rally against the state’s “Stop Woke Act,” are no longer facing felony charges. Last week, the District 13 Office of State Attorney Suzy Lopez announced that it reached an agreement to drop multiple felony and misdemeanor charges against four USF students and a campus worker, who were colloquially referred to as the “Tampa 5.”

The group includes Gia Davila, Chrisley Caprio, Lauren Pineiro, Jeanie Kida, and Lauren Rodriguez.

The “Tampa 5” has agreed to a “misdemeanor intervention program that will lead to the dismissal of their charges upon the fulfillment of various conditions such as 24 hours of community service,” according to a press release from Students for a Democratic Society.

Outside the George E. Edgecomb Courthouse in Tampa, Davila, 22, told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that the group learned of the development early this month. “It’s been such a huge relief to know how supported we are by students across the country, and to know that our fate is not going to be in the hands of jurors. We’re not going to have to

sit in front of these cops for a week straight, while they tell lies about us,” Davila added.

The initial charges stemmed from a March 6 incident, where students at a “Mobilize to Save Diversity” rally were calling for a meeting with USF President Rhea Law about expanding Black student enrollment and diversity programs—issues under threat from the recently signed “Stop Woke Act.” Some of the students were charged with disrupting a school or campus function and resisting an officer without violence—both misdemeanors.

Three protesters—Carpio, Kida and Rodriguez—faced two felony charges of battery on a law enforcement officer, while Dabila and Pineiro each faced one count of battery on a law enforcement officer.

A press release from Lopez’s office says, “Five individuals involved in a University of South Florida protest have accepted responsibility for their actions in March 2023.”

“This resolution brings closure to all parties, ensuring the defendants are held accountable for their actions,” added Lopez, who was appointed by Gov. Ron DeSantis to

LOCAL NEWS

lead SAO13 after he suspended Andrew Warren.

“University campuses are bastions for free speech and learning, but the moment someone puts their hands on a law enforcement officer, a line is crossed, and consequences must follow.”

Multiple videos dispute Lopez’s claims that students assaulted police officers.

Carpio, a campus worker who was among those arrested and charged by the state, called the state attorney’s claim that they’ve accepted responsibility a lie.

“Not only are we not pleading guilty, we’re not doing a no contest plea, the charges are being dismissed. We just have to meet these terms for a year to do a misdemeanor intervention program,” Carpio told CL. Erin Maloney, Communications Director for SAO13 told CL that “accepting responsibility,” means the charges could be dropped against the Tampa 5, “if they successfully complete,” the diversion program and on the condition of accepting responsibility.

“We never said we were guilty of anything, except doing the right thing, which we’re proud to say students are doing all over the country.

They’ve been lying from day one. They’re gonna continue to lie to demonize protesters,” Carpio added. “But the fact of the matter is, they’re on the wrong side of things. The majority of people in Tampa know that, the majority of students know that, and they’re going to learn that lesson one day.”

Michelle Lambo, attorney for the Tampa 5, told CL that her client is correct. “What they did was accept a program because doing that was in their best interest and it guarantees that they are at home at night sleeping in their own beds, and they are not risking any jail or any prison,” she added.

Lambo previously represented Tampa protestor Jamie Bullock who faced felony battery on a law enforcement officer before the office of State Attorney Andrew Warren dropped the charges and said “law enforcement needs to be educated on what the First Amendment covers and how important it is to the founding of our country.”

“They need to get educated on protesting, the right to assemble, the right to free speech, and they need to be educated on what the fuck ‘peaceful’ means. ‘Peaceful’ does not always mean quiet—it means non-violent,” Lambo told CL. “And guess what? Throwing tea overboard was considered non-violent, and I’m sure it’s still to this day considered non-violent, and agencies need to get educated.”

Davila says that pressure from student groups and elected officials from around the country led to the charges getting dropped.

Elected officials including State Representatives Angie Nixon and Anna Eskamani, plus Congressman Maxwell Frost, and Hillsborough County Commissioner Pat Kemp have all expressed support for the group.

“This is a win for the student movement,” Davila added.

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OPENINGS RESTAURANTS

RECIPES

DINING GUIDES

Continued reality

Beer bar Trellis at Buchman debuts in Ybor City, plus more local openings

By Kyla Fields

A

your possibilities, but we just have to figure out what that looks like for us.”

For the time being, Trellis at Buchman will offer an aesthetically-pleasing lounge to sip beer and wine in, complete with natural lighting and tons of greenery, although there’s a few more decor aspects that Bigham will add within the next few weeks.

Tampa Heights’ Grand Cathedral Cigars. This permanent location of Rene’s shares the exact same menu as its Seminole Heights food truck and newly-opened walk-up window in Ybor City.

Customers can choose tacos, burritos or tortas loaded with al pastor, chorizo and cheese, carne asada, pork barbacoa and chile relleno, alongside vegetarian options like oyster mushrooms or its prized huitlacoche or “corn smut.”

Chef Rene Valenzuela tells CL Tampa Bay this his new Tampa Heights outpost will be open from 5 p.m.-9 p.m. Wednesday and Thursday, 5 p.m.-10 p.m. on Friday, 11 a.m.-10 p.m. on Saturday and 11 a.m.-8 p.m. on Sunday. It will remain closed on Monday and Tuesday. He says the collaboration between Rene’s Mexican Kitchen and the cigar lounge started naturally, after the owner of Grand Cathedral Cigars, Angela Yue, started frequenting his Ybor City location and eventually asked to work together.

“It’s a great partnership because we share the same type of customers. We sell craft tacos that no one else in the area serves, and they pride themselves on the highest quality of cigars,” Valenzuela says. “It’s a good opportunity to co-brand our businesses together.”

Grand Cathedral Cigars made its Tampa Heights debut in 2021 after months of renovating the former church into a sleek cigar bar, lounge, liquor bar and event space.

C/O JOEL BIGHAM

fter a year and a half of displaying “coming soon” signs in its windows, Ybor City’s newest beer and wine (softly) opened its doors late last month. Trellis at Buchman is at 1910 E 7th Ave. in the heart of Ybor City, adjacent to other popular businesses like Zydeco Brew Werks and Chill Bros. Scoop Shop.

The new bar and stylish lounge is helmed by owner and beer enthusiast Joel Bigham, who operated popular biergarten Fermented Reality in downtown Tampa’s Sparkman Wharf until 2021. The new bar and “tropical plant paradise” will open at 5 p.m. each day, featuring cellared draft selections, specialty releases, 10 wines by the glass and over 35 bottles and cans of both alcoholic and N/A beverages.

Trellis offers both local brews from the Bay area and craft beers from microbreweries across the country, from Arkane Aleworks’ Guava Key Lime Pie and BarrieHaus Beer Co’s Tampa Export to sour ales from Illinois’ Une Année Brewery and double IPAs from New York’s Finback Brewery. Its imported beers include Brouwerij St.Bernardus from Belgium, Munich lagers from Paulaner Brauerei and a Winter Ale from Huyghe Brewery.

And no worries, Trellis will still carry Bud Lights, Modelos and other common beers, too.

When the opening of Trellis was initially announced, Bigham had plans for a full-service dining experience and a kitchen specializing in “upscale American fare.” While construction delays have certainly put Trellis’ ability to build a kitchen on hold for now, Bigham confirms that the beer bar’s restaurant aspect is still on the way. “Just getting our doors open was the main priority, but there’s no way I’m not going to have a kitchen,” Bigham tells CL. “I’ve said before that opening an alcoholfocused place without food is not maximizing

“Trellis’ tap list will very much be a continuation of what folks were seeing at Fermented Reality—brews that are a little harder to find around town,” Bigham says. “Reviving Fermented Reality is something I think about all the time—I miss that brand badly and will resurrect it eventually.”

For the latest news on Ybor City’s newest haunt, head to its Facebook or Instagram, both at @trellispub.The new bar is now open from 5 p.m.-9 p.m. Tuesday-Wednesday, 5 p.m.-10 p.m. on Thursday, 5 p.m.-11 p.m. on Friday, noon-11 p.m. on Saturday and noon-9 p.m. on Sunday.

STYLIN’: Trellis’ new bar and lounge is helmed by owner and beer enthusiast Joel Bigham.

Bigham first hinted at the opening of his Ybor City concept back in 2021, after Strategic Property Partners did not renew Fermented Reality’s lease and his biergarten was forced out of the popular Channelside hub it called home. Since his new bar is a separate concept from the once-popular beer garden, Bigham still has hopes to open a Fermented Reality 2.0 elsewhere in Tampa.

Rene’s Mexican Kitchen opens permanent food truck at Tampa Heights’ Grand Cathedral Cigars A favorite taco spot amongst Tampeños opened its newest food truck, just shy of two miles from its original location. Rene’s Mexican Kitchen celebrated the grand opening of its newest food truck at 2201 N Florida Ave. early this month. The new taco truck is parked outside of

HCK Hot Chicken opensfirst Tampa location Tampa Bay has had a bit of a spicy chicken growth spurt over the last year, but one more concept opened before 2023 calls it quits. Fast casual restaurant chain HCK Hot Chicken (which stands for Hot Chickn Kitchn), opened its first Tampa location at 3343 S Westshore Blvd. on Dec. 9. As the name suggests, the Virginia-based chain specializes in madeto-order Nashville-style chicken tendies and sandwiches, made with 100% certified halal chicken. The menu also features loaded fries, salads, fried pickles, wings, mac and cheese and waffles.—Colin Wolf

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MOVIES

THEATER

ART

CULTURE

TAKE A SHELFIE: Ryann Kuchle (L) and Crystel Calderon.

PHOTO BY CHELSEA ZUKOWSKI / DESIGN BY JOE FRONTEL

Novel idea

Social media is driving the return of the midnight book release party.

By Chelsea Zukowski

O

n a balmy fall evening in Safety Harbor, a few dozen fantasy book nerds gathered in the courtyard of Bassano Cheesecake to eat torched cheesecake, make friendship bracelets and origami dragons, then count down the minutes until the midnight release of “Iron Flame” by Rebecca Yarros. It was the midnight release party for the “Fourth Wing” sequel hosted

by Portkey Books, possibly the smallest indie bookstore in the Tampa Bay area, but one with a big heart and affection for the community.

“I am grateful to our friends Bassano Cheesecake for being such excellent hosts. I love being able to partner with other local businesses and organizations, and Bassano was so accommodating,” said Crystel Calderon, owner of Portkey Books.

“If you’re going to have a dragon party with cheesecake, you’ve got to light it on fire.”

Portkey Books was the only indie shop in the area to host a release party for “Iron Flame.” But partnering with Bassano and making the party a more intimate affair made for a much more social and stress-free event. Readers arrived at 10 p.m. to “cross the parapet”—a long, slim balancing mat—before heading into Bassano to pick up their slice of s’mores cheesecake and cup of midnight punch.

Outside, Bassano’s courtyard was decked out in dragon decor and tables were filled with stations for making friendship bracelets that spell out “Wingleader,” “Dragon Rider” or “Dain is a bitch”—if you know, you know.

Friend of Portkey’s Ryann Kuchle also taught guests how to fold origami dragons after they took Red Tower Books-supplied quizzes to determine their dragon and which quadrant of Basgiath War College they belonged to.

BOOKS

“As a solo owner/employee of a tiny bookstore, the customers that have become friends who are happy to help out with events are invaluable,” Calderon said. “Their friendship is invaluable and there are things that I couldn’t do without them.”

Yarros’s “Fourth Wing” was published in April and exploded in popularity. It hit all the bestseller lists and quickly sold-out of its special edition first printing, which included black sprayed edges and stenciled dragons.

Because of that, hype for the book’s sequel, “Iron Flame,” hit a fever pitch when publisher Red Tower announced it would offer bookstores party kits and resources to host midnight release parties on Nov. 6.

Barnes & Nobles, Books-A-Millions and other independent and not booksellers around the country hosted release parties for “Iron Flame” as well. The crowds and activities at these parties depended on the stores’ owners and management, but based on photos shared in fan Facebook groups, they all featured the same swag, stickers, temporary tattoos, quizzes and dragon decor. In the Tampa Bay area, Barnes & Noble stores in Clearwater and Carrollwood, and Books-A-Millions in Port Richey, Brandon and Bradenton all hosted parties.

“I was a Barnes & Noble employee back in the day for the midnight release of ‘Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince.’ I can’t deny that it was fun and exciting, but I don’t think it afforded the same opportunity for people to make connections,” Calderon said. “And that’s what I really want with these events…beyond the book sales, I want people to be able to connect and maybe even make friends.”

The sense of community and making connections over a shared love of fictional, fantastical stories is at the heart of book events—both online and in person. It’s no stretch to say that the isolation of the pandemic also led to people picking up new hobbies like reading and sharing their bookish thoughts on TikTok and Instagram.

Now, thanks in large part to the evergrowing reader communities on TikTok and Instagram, the beloved bookish tradition of midnight release parties may finally be making a comeback.

Jessica Porter, employee at Inklings Book Shoppe in Lakeland and owner of Crossroad Reviews, believes release parties “will be coming back full force” because of social media communities and publishers leaning on the popularity continued on page 31

cltampabay.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2023 | 29

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CHELSEA ZUKOWSKI

BOOK BASH: Portkey’s Midnight Maasquerade promises dancing, dessert and more. continued from page 29 of special editions with sprayed edges and collectible covers. Porter also sees “Booktok” and “Bookstagram” as boons for indie booksellers and authors.

“In the past 10 years, you wouldn’t find an independent author in a regular bookstore. And now you can walk into almost any store and find tables of self-published and small published titles,” she said. “We’ve had numerous customers come in looking for indie titles or titles they’ve found on BookTok.” Inklings didn’t have a party or preorder incentive for “Iron Flame,” but it's working on something for the release of the next Sarah J. Maas book, “House of Flame and Shadow.”

“We will be doing a preorder party for HOFAS,” Porter said. “Details are still up in the air right now, so just keep an eye on our social media for updates.”

Back at Portkey, Calderon is prepping to host the biggest event the shop has ever done—a midnight release ball for “House of Flame and Shadow” at Kapok Special Events Center in Clearwater.

The Midnight Maasquerade promises to have dancing, dessert and the indie exclusive edition of “House of Flame and Shadow.”

“Some attendees are choosing to cosplay as a favorite character, but most plan to dress in their fancy fantasy best,” Calderon said. “Life doesn’t give you too many chances to wear a fantasy-inspired ball gown and tiara.”

Calderon said it was actually a customer, Kuchle, who gave her the idea for the ball. The response was immediate, and the Maasquerade now has hundreds of people coming—a mix of locals and those from around the state and the country. It’s an intimidating but fun challenge for Calderon, who has to think “creatively and outside the box” when it comes to crafting events for her shop.

“Bookstores, you know, want to sell books and we have to find a way,” she said.

“Specifically, I’m throwing a ball to sell books. Otherwise those customers are all going to…Walmart, to Amazon or places like that.”

“We (indie bookstores) can provide the community…a place for people to get together and connect where you don’t get that shopping on Amazon.”

The possibility of midnight release parties making a full comeback depends on popularity among readers and publishers’ willingness to provide resources.

Like the “Harry Potter” midnight releases of the early 2000s, Calderon said these parties “only work with certain highly anticipated popular titles that have a dedicated fandom.”

“It would be nice if all new event attendees then became loyal bookstore customers…I think midnight releases are sustainable for indie booksellers as long as the publisher can deliver what they promised,” she said.

With the success of Portkey’s “Iron Flame” release party and the excitement building for the Maasquerade, Calderon said she’s open to more bookish parties in the future.

As for publisher-backed parties for the release of “House of Flame and Shadow,” those have yet to be confirmed.

But it wouldn’t be a surprise to see preorder incentives and events for the new book, especially at indie bookshops that are offering the indie exclusive edition of the novel.

“Book release parties are fun, and Portkey Books is willing to do them if there are people willing to attend,” Calderon said.

“We need loyal customers who value what we offer and can continue to shop local regularly, even during the times when we don’t have a grand event planned.”

BOOKS

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Home again

BROOKS’ BOOKS: George and Sarah Brooks have a simple, but multifaceted mission.

Community collaboration and support keeps The Book Rescuers going.

By Chelsea Zukowski

T

ucked away in a small warehouse complex The Book Rescuers going. The Brooks said it in Pinellas Park is an open air repository was their followers who pushed them to open a of nearly 100,000 rescued books looking for warehouse to shop in.

“It’s wicked hard work. It’s the most physinew homes. It’s called The Book Rescuers, and owners George and Sarah Brooks have a simple, cal thing either of us have ever done,” George but multifaceted mission: keep books and other said. “But it’s hands down the most rewarding media out of landfills and give back to the com- thing we’ve ever done.” munity through the power of reading.

At first, the shop at 10410 66th St. N was in “I always say some people rehome pets, a smaller warehouse and only open a few days a we rehome books,” Sarah week. Now, in the much larger said. “We’re book rehoming suite no. 6 is over a mile of specialists.” shelving and plenty of space The Brooks created for browsing and for the Book The Book Rescuers in 2021 Rescuers crew to shoot fun The Book Rescuers when George said he met an social media videos.

10410 66th St. N no. 6, Pinellas Park Amazon seller who was throw- 727-222-0495. @thebookrescuers on These shelves are filled Facebook ing away 10,000 pounds of with every genre and subbooks every week and “gave genre you can think of, and him an offer he couldn’t refuse” to take them they’re organized alphabetically by author’s off the seller’s hands. The result was upwards last name. There are sections for Florida books of 2,200 books in their yard and then spend- and authors as well as crates of vinyl records, ing months building custom shelves on wheels CDs, DVDs, VHS tapes and displays of local so they could take all those books to different art. Almost every book is priced $1-$3 with locations every other week. “Everyone told us more expensive items still set under $10. There we were crazy and no one reads, and we were are a few items, like the ephemera packs and like that’s radio edit,” George said. sets behind the counter, that cost a little more.

From the beginning, it was—and still is— The children’s section takes up about a community collaboration and support that keeps quarter of the space and features shelves

BOOKS

of heavily discounted and free books and resources for teachers. And, yes, Book Rescuers has a packed shelf just for banned books.

“We rescue all books and all media of any type or genre in any condition,” George said.

“And we don’t need anything presorted; we’ll do it all because we bring in about 2,000 books a week.”

By “any condition,” the Brooks really mean it. With heavily damaged books or those that have become irrelevant or unreadable, they repurpose pages, covers and any illustrations in ephemera and wallpaper packs and art work.

With ephemera packs and new wallpaper packs, crafters, artists or people just wanting more bookish vibes in their home can buy 100 square feet of book pages to turn into recycled wallpaper.

“We’re trying to find ways to keep that kind of stuff out of the landfill,” Sarah said.

“Any book in any condition can be made into something else.”

The Book Rescuers’ inventory comes from libraries, local indie bookstores and donated personal collections. They also work with local junk removal companies to take discarded books off their hands. Through these donations and “rescues,” the Brooks have found rare and collectible books, dusty leatherbound books over 100 years old and even have two whole shelves dedicated to books signed by their authors.

Besides the shelves of paperback pulps, bodice-ripper historical romances, hardcover thrillers and epic fantasy novels, The Book Rescuers have acquired several shelves of brand new books and marked them way below regular retail price because Sarah believes keeping reading affordable is very important.

“Knowledge is power and it should be accessible to everybody,” she added.

The Brooks have been building upon their success as a community-focused book rehoming business by opening an Ebay store for their most rare and niche finds and making plans to open a retail location next summer.

“The donations are never ending,” Sarah said.

“That’s awesome. It’s a beautiful community.”

With the continued support from the community, the Brooks are working toward opening in a building with air conditioning and space for a small tea and coffee cafe as well as a small stage so they can host open mic nights.

“They’ve driven us to where we’re at, and they have driven us to grow faster than we really could afford to,” George said. “But they’ve supported us.”

To keep up with The Book Rescuers and see what new books they get in each week, follow them via @ thebookrescuers on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok. Visit the shop at 10410 66th St. N no. 6 in Pinellas Park.

“It’s hands down the most rewarding thing we’ve ever done.”

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Booked and busy

St. Pete’s Tombolo Books celebrates four years in the Grand Central District.

By Kyla Fields

T

Walentine said that in 2019—before Tombolo opened its doors—that her bookstore would hold about 6,000-7,000 works on its shelves. As 2023 comes to an end, Jagneaux says that its shelves boast significantly more than that, especially during the annual “literary Tetris game” that the holiday season demands. A new crop of books gets delivered to Tombolo every Tuesday, which are then showcased on social media and on the store’s “New and Notable” table.

And its kid’s section receives just as much curation as its adult book selection. Amanda Hurley, a mother and running enthusiast, is the store’s children’s book buyer and staunchly believes that books are just as important for kids as they are for adults.

“She wants kids that walk into our store to just be in awe of all of the possibilities and actually see themselves and their families represented on the shelves,”Jagneaux explains. “I think it’s really important to walk into a kid’s section and see the world reflected back to you.”

By offering a robust kid’s book section, the Tombolo team hopes to create both life-long readers and customers. “We used to be right around the corner from Haslam’s and adults would always talk about visiting that store as a kid and being able to come back and shop there as an adult— that’s the kind of relationship with the community that we hope to create as well,” says Jagneaux.

Tombolo Books always expected to co-exist with its historic neighbor, Haslam’s bookstore,

which sadly never reopened its doors after the pandemic. While its quiet closure saddened Tombolo’s team and St. Pete residents alike, the little bookstore continues to flourish in its own literary niche and hopes to build a multi-decade legacy of its own.

“I think there’s this narrative out there that indie bookstores are a dying breed, but we feel like we’re kind of flying in the face of that notion, Jagneaux tells CL. “Tombolo itself is like a microcosm here in St. Pete and we’re only thriving because of the community’s demand.”

Even with all of the small businesses’ growth since 2019, Jagneaux says that Tombolo has no plans to physically expand or move into a larger building.

“We’re really comfortable with where we are right now but are always thinking about creative ways to expand in terms of collaborations and pop-ups,” she explains. “Being out in the community—just existing with people—is a natural, more meta-physical extension of the business without actually moving.”

Even if you can’t make Tombolo’s anniversary gig this week, Jagneaux still encourages local residents to do their holiday shopping at Tombolo and other local businesses. The bookstore offers free gift wrapping year-round, but the service comes particularly in handy during Christmas time.

To keep up with all of Tombolo’s events in the new year, head to its Instagram or Facebook, both at @TomboloBooks.

ombolo Books, St. Pete’s 1,500-square-foot, evening, although off-site events may include indie bookstore at 2153 1st Ave. S, made its a small entrance fee. debut in the Grand Central District mere This week’s occasion is not its typical author months before the Covid-19 pandemic shut the talk or story time, but a celebration of everything world down momentarily. After many months of Tombolo Books has accomplished since opening maintaining its online store, delivering books its doors. The free, courtyard-hosted celebration via bicycle, slowly reopening its doors while its features drinks from neighboring businesses neighbor Haslam’s closed Black Crow Coffee and theirs, and eventually operSqueeze Juiceworks, local ating at its fullest capacity, art vendors and bites from Tombolo Books has proven The Twisted Indian and to be one of the most booked The Crumb Factory. While Tombolo Books (no pun intended) and busiest the festivities will remain fourth anniversary word-dealers in town. With a outside for the most part, Thursday, Dec. 14. 5 p.m.-8 p.m. calendar full of children’s sto- No cover. 2153 1st Ave. S, St. Petersburg best-selling author Lisa tombolobooks.com rytimes, author talks, book Unger will sign her books clubs, signings and poetry (read more on p. 43 ) inside readings and shelves stocked with a constant of the store, amongst many shelves of Tombolo’s rotation of both popular and up-and-coming titles, up-and-coming titles, Florida-focused works, Tombolo Books has quickly nestled into its niche innovative kid’s books, LGBTQ-driven content and more. and shows no signs of slowing down.

On the precipice of the bookstore’s fourth When it comes to maintaining Tombolo’s birthday, Events Coordinator Kelsey Jagneaux contemporary rotation of fiction and nonfiction, shares with Creative Loafing Tampa Bay all of Jagneaux contributes its ever-growing inventhe ways that the little local bookstore contin- tory to owner Alsace Walentine, who scours ues to grow. She describes the Tombolo team as new releases from publishers across the U.S. “ambitious individuals” whose scrappy perseverance through the pandemic propelled them to success in 2023.

“Although I wasn’t a part of the team yet, I know that the entire crew kind of just put their heads down and worked their butts off to keep the bookstore going in its early days,” Jagneaux says. “ I think a lot of that ingenuity has carried us through the last four years—we’re just constantly thinking of ways to be more creative and innovative. Just in the past year, our events program has grown tremendously.”

“Tremendous” is certainly correct. Its author-oriented events usually celebrate the release of their latest work, and may cover a wide range of genres from local, Tampa Bay history and Florida nature to investigative journalism, self-help, spirituality, psychological thrillers and much, much more.

For larger gatherings, Tombolo has to move its literary events off-site since the capacity inside the intimate bookstore is so tight. Sometimes events happen across the street at Coastal Creative or at The Palladium and Seven C Music & Coffee. The bookstore recently collaborated with the Poynter Institute for a journalismfocused event and plans to work with art space Studio@620 and the annual Tampa Bay Collard Green Festival in the upcoming year.

On-site events are usually free to attend, and are kept that way by encouraging attendees to purchase the featured book of the JUST IN TIME: Tombolo opened just months before 2020’s pandemic.

COURTESY

BOOKS

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TELL ME: Black English’s moniker was inspired by a 1970 essay from James Baldwin.

Speaking my language

Tampa City Councilwoman opens Black author-focused bookstore.

By Kyla Fields

T

here are less than two dozen independently- or Black-authored books.” Out of 1,700 books on owned bookstores throughout Tampa Bay, her shelves, Henderson says about 700 of them and a new Tampa Heights business adds one are aimed towards children, touching on topics more to the list (see it on p. 48). Black English like Black hair and self-love.

Bookstore—which focuses on fiction and nonA special selection of “banned books” will fiction works by Black authors—celebrated its also be available for purchase. grand opening this month. The space is the “There are no banned books at my store— passion project of Tampa they are all liberated!” city councilwoman Gwen Henderson, who grew up Henderson, who has been in the “height of integraworking towards the debut tion,” tells Creative Loafing of her own independent bookTampa Bay with a laugh.

Black English Bookstore store for many years now.

“Not every book in my store 401 E Oak Ave., Tampa “I am determined to is necessarily a ‘Black book,’ Open from 11 a.m.-6 p.m. WednesdaySaturday, 1 p.m.-5 p.m. Sunday, Closed amplify voices and pay tribbut if that work is being sold Monday-Tuesday. @blackenglishbookstore ute to our ancestors who here, it will be integrated on Instagram were unable to read and with the rest of the books.” write. One of them is Sam Hightower (1860-1932) Henderson also created a special sticker my great-great grandfather and I will read for for books that were written by Black men who him,” Henderson wrote about her new business. graduated from HBCUs (historically Black col“With this purpose and bookish joy, Black English leges and universities), to help promote reading Bookstore (BEB) was born and I’m her shopkeeper.” within Black communities.

The store will boast a wide variety of books In addition to being a retail bookstore, Black for all ages. Henderson, 58, told Bay News 9 English will serve as a community space for difthat “98% of the books are African American ferent types of events, too. It will also boast a few

BOOKS

RAY ROA

shelves where other women-owned businesses can display their products, as well as hosting two coffee pop-ups on the weekends: Rise Koffee + Kulture (which was supposed to open a brick and mortar in Ybor City) and The Coffee Divas.

Henderson says the name of the business was inspired by a 1970 essay by James Baldwin titled “If Black English Isn’t a Language, Then Tell Me, What Is?,” where he explored the relationship between language, the African American diaspora and racial oppression. Here is an excerpt from the essay: I say that the present skirmish is rooted in American history, and it is. Black English is the creation of the black diaspora. Blacks came to the United States chained to each other, but from different tribes: Neither could speak the other’s language. If two black people, at that bitter hour of the world’s history, had been able to speak to each other, the institution of chattel slavery could never have lasted as long as it did. Subsequently, the slave was given, under the eye, and the gun, of his master, Congo Square, and the Bible--or in other words, and under these conditions, the slave began the formation of the black church, and it is within this unprecedented tabernacle that black English began to be formed. This was not, merely, as in

the European example, the adoption of a foreign tongue, but an alchemy that transformed ancient elements into a new language: A language comes into existence by means of brutal necessity, and the rules of the language are dictated by what the language must convey.

Henderson has lived in Tampa for the past 32 years, teaching at Hillsborough County Schools for a majority of that time. She is also Tampa’s District 5 councilwoman since May of this year.

In the two years leading up to her book store’s grand opening, she sold select books at local literary festivals and events throughout Tampa, in addition to running an online store. “ Our mission is to promote the reading culture. We foster curiosity, gift young readers books through sponsorships, highlight HBCU alumni authors, proudly sell and display banned books, and connect the great pastime called “good conversation” through Black English,” Henderson writes about her soon-to-open bookstore. “I am very proud to be a Black woman and I am creating a space that me and others like me want to experience.”

For the latest updates on Tampa’s newest bookstore, head to its Facebook or Instagram page, both at @BlackEnglishBooks.

“There are no banned books at my store—they are all liberated.”

cltampabay.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2023 | 39

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You are not alone

Joshua Pearson releases vulnerable new book, ‘Incidental Art’.

By Ray Roa

T

here aren’t many Tampa artists who can say As he continued writing in his journal, they’ve left their mark on nearly every cor- Pearson started to realize that while he’d been ner of the city. Joshua T. Pearson has. Over expressing his creativity through work, he was the last eight years, the 43-year-old’s creative burying how he felt. “I was hiding in plain sight agency Pep Rally Inc. has been on a rollercoaster as a designer and artist because art tends to be ride designing and making real the aesthetics more subjective than writing,” he said. of clients that range from restaurant to sports So he decided to pull back the curtain, and teams like the Tampa Bay while he didn’t feel qualified Lightning. The work is clean to give advice, he could puband leaves a lasting mark, licly acknowledge the he, too, but it isn’t exactly vulnerable. was afraid.

That’s what Pearson is his new “I could say that I struggle book, “Incidental Art,” which is a little bit mem- with depression,” Pearson said. “I could say that oir, part journal, and not just a must-read for you’re not alone.” local art lovers interested in learning about the Over two years, he pieced the book together, process/story behind one of the city’s longest- with just one rule: honesty in the writing. Inside running creative shops, but required reading the book, which feels like collage, are some of for anyone hoping to his notes, sketches and photos he referenced in make a living—and stay alive—in the crehis work and journal. ative-for-hire world.

The book, naturally, Joshua Person celalmost got scrapped ebrated the release several times, but talkof “Incidental Art” at ing to others pushed a Dec. 2 book launch Pearson to keep workand solo exhibition at ing at it—and it’s been Tampa Heights’ Rialto refreshing for him to Theatre where more produce a tangible than a dozen works book. “I am tired of from Pearson were on experiencing art on my display. phone,” he added.

The book, Pearson “You don’t have to told Creative Loafing read it cover to cover.

Tampa Bay, was less of You can skip around an idea and more of a and explore the work recurring thought that how you choose,” ramped up after the Pearson said about the peak of Covid when he “Incidental Art” expeand his friends—chefs, RUN, RABBIT, RUN: Joshua Pearson’s rience, which includes artists, entrepreneurs, a lot of exploration work is all over Tampa Bay. musicians and everyaround loss and even thing in between—started to openly talk about suicide. “I have struggled my entire life to stay burnout and mental health. “It didn’t matter if above these thoughts but they are prevalent and the person was well established in their career persistent,” he admitted.

Pearson said he has a strict rule of calling or just starting out, the uncertainty of everything was not only seeping into their work it people whenever he thinks about them, with was becoming an overwhelming no regard for being intrusive. burden,” he added.

He also forces himself to call Pearson and his contempopeople when he starts to sink raries were all leaving ideas into thoughts about taking his own life. unexplored because of fear or rejection on social media. He didn’t have “I open the conversation and make sure they answers, but discovered a central theme in his know they are loved,” he said. He also wants creatives, and his neighbors in general, to know that conversations: “you’re not alone.”

The books Pearson was reading at the time work and success doesn’t define who they are. encouraged changing who you are or hustling “We are whole as we are. We need to tell until you fall to the ground. “It felt like those each other more often,” he said. “This book is ideas were contributing to the problem,” he said. my attempt to do that.”

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Treat your shelf The best Florida books of 2023.

By Chelsea Zukowski and Ray Roa

I

t’s that time of the year when—for better and worse—your office shuts down for two weeks and your family coalesces around you. You’re going to need something to do, and drugs alone won’t get you through the winter. To wrap up this celebration of books, we’ve gathered some of the best 2023 books by Florida authors and supplemented the list with a few titles by outof-state authors, too. Thanks for reading, and put this listing down as soon as you get your hands on a book you like.

‘Be Serious’ Essays by Stephanie Hayes The Tampa Bay Times columnist is known for her witty, hilarious and absurd hot takes about news and culture, especially when it comes to the stranger-than-fiction stories coming out of Florida. Her columns are syndicated by Creators Syndicate, which compiled the best ones into this collection. Featuring topics such as hair parting debates, Kohl’s Cash, asking what books should get banned next and if Mickey Mouse can ever be stopped. (Creators Publishing) ‘Christmas Presents’ By Lisa Unger A thrilling holiday crime novella sees a bookshop owner haunted by her past have those secrets and trauma brought back to life by the arrival of a relentless true crime podcaster. It’s a chilling small town tale of murder, cold cases and obsession over finding the truth and justice.

(Mysterious Press) ‘Eat, Pray, Hex’ By Tara Lush In Crescent Moon Mysteries Book 1, a perimenopausal woman inherits a supposedly haunted Florida inn and has to use newfound psychic powers to help a deceased relative solve a murder. Journalist and crime fiction author Tara Lush delves into the cozy paranormal mystery featuring a middle-aged protagonist and a cat named Freddie Purrcury. (Independently published) ‘For Cuba—for Freedom!’ By Raul Andres Villamia with Rhonda J. Villamia and Paul J. Guzzo Cuban politics are a divisive issue in Tampeño households where the word “Castro” can either be a call for a toast or an invitation to flip the dinner table over. This new book from Cuban professional minor leaguer Villamia won’t assuage the intensity over the hot topic, but it will arm the reader with a treasure trove of research and anecdotes about the revolution. Paul Guzzo, a Tampa reporter who is also the dean of history when it comes to the city’s lost Black cemeteries, contributed research to this must-have book for any self-respecting Tampa-phile. (McFarland) continued on page 44

FLORIDA MAN AND GATOR LADY: Jeff Babauta (L) who is the main character in a new book by Rebeca Renner (R).

cltampabay.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2023 | 43

BOOKS

LOOPING BACK: Cuban poet Oneyda Gonzalez presents her poems in English for the first time.

continued from page 43 ‘Foraging Florida: Finding, Identifying and Preparing Edible and Medicinal Wild Foods in Florida’ By Roger L. Hammer A guide for any Floridian—Tampeños and St. Petians included—who wants a starting point for recreational foraging, and to make sure they go about things legally, ethically, and in a way that honors the generations of Native American land stewards, many of whom discovered these medicines and food preparations several centuries ago. The book opens with a stark disclaimer that unambiguously, and repeatedly, reminds readers that the work is a reference and that there are dangers when it comes to eating collected from the wild. It contains 261 pages of herbs, wild fruits, useful plants that are commonly deemed as weeds, palms, root vegetables and berries that grow in every nook and cranny of the Sunshine State’s unique ecosystem. Some of these edible

plants are even common trees or flora you may drive by every day. (Falcon Guides)—Kyla Fields ‘Gator Country: Deception, Dangers, and Alligators in the Everglades’ By Rebecca Renner Journalist Rebecca Renner’s debut is a twisty Florida true crime descent into the under-swamp world of illegal alligator poaching in the Everglades. The good and bad guys aren’t clear cut, though, as the book combines investigative reporting with narrative storytelling to showcase the beautiful and terrifying world of Florida’s swamps and the people who live there. (Flatiron Books) ‘The Girl in the Window and Other True Tales: An anthology with Tips for Finding, Reporting, and Writing Nonfiction Narrative’ By Lane DeGregory The Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist shares behind-thescenes details about some of her most famous stories—how she found and built them,

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showcasing her process and providing essential tips for journalists and nonfiction writers. This book is a craft guide and “forensic reading” of DeGregory’s work and perfect for those who want to improve their writing and just appreciate a good true story. (University of Chicago Press) ‘Good Day Sunshine State: How The Beatles Rocked Florida’ By Bob Kealing John, Paul, George, and Ringo’s connections to Florida go far beyond one of their “Ed Sullivan Show” appearances taking place in Miami, you know. In this tell-all, Emmy-winning music historian and ex-radio broadcaster Kealing dives deep into tales of how the Fab Four took over the lives of future Florida-bred music icons like Tom Petty and The Allman Brothers in the blink of an eye. He also covers a few tidbits about Miami-based journalist Larry Kane—the only person who got to cover every single show on The Beatles’ first U.S. tour—getting verbally

berated by John Lennon and hit on by manager Brian Epstein, and of course, the boys fighting for an integrated audience at their show at Jacksonville’s Gator Bowl, which turned out to be their only non-televised appearance in Florida.

(University Press of Florida)—Josh Bradley ‘Happy Neighborhood’ Essays and poems by Thomas Hallock My family has a new bedtime ritual where we take three deep breaths and each share, in detail, our favorite part of the day. The practice is lifted from Creative Loafing Tampa Bay contributor Dr. Hallock (a literary doc, not an M.D.) who theorizes that the archiving of a good memory might erase a painful one. His bare-all collection of essays and poems about Tampa Bay and fatherhood is full of tender stories and reminders to fly close, and hold tight, to the things that make you happy in this troublesome world. (Mercer University Press)

from the author of “The Lost Apothecary.” The novel follows two women searching for answers and justice through the occult practice of seances, only to find themselves entangled in a criminal mystery with the exclusive Seance Society. (Park Row) ‘Newb Squad: A Big Brother’s Guide to Surfing Etiquette’ By Dr. Jason Old Tampa historian of 20th-21st century Latin America Jason Old is also known as “The Surfing Historian,” and his kids book illustrated by Gabi Moraes is an introduction to the sport of surfing, but also a guide to help groms (of all ages, really) safely partake in the sport. (Sea Foam Books) ‘Once Upon a Time in Florida: Stories of Life in the Land of Promises’ Edited by Jacki Levine This anthology features 50 stories drawn from the archives of Florida Humanities’ Forum magazine (stylized “FORUM”). Authors include scholars, journalists and other literary movers and shakers, including Gary R. Mormino, Eric Deggans, Dalia Colon, Lauren Groff, Craig Pittman, Edna Buchanan, J. Michael Francis and more. As a celebration of Florida Humanities’ 50th year, the collection includes myth busters, deep dives into the state’s history and lore and narrative journalistic pieces about the space race and Walt Disney World in Florida. The hardcover tome is also as pretty as it is informative, with 150 photos and artwork. (Florida Humanities) ‘Path of the Panther: New Hope For Wild Florida’ By Carlton Ward Jr. A supplement to his Leonardo DiCaprio-produced film about the Florida Wildlife Corridor (“Path of the Panther” is now on Disney+), this gorgeous 240-page large format National Geographic hardcover collects Ward’s jaw-dropping photographs of the elusive Florida Panther, still fighting for survival in a world where development continues to encroach on its natural habitat. Locals should also head to the Florida Museum of Photographic Arts’ new Ybor City location to see an exhibition (on view through St. Patrick’s Day) featuring the photographs. (Disney Books) ‘The Peculiar Affliction of Thomas Wade Duncan’ By Kip Koelsch Dunedin author Koelsch returns with his seventh book, a fastpaced suspense novella that not only chronicles the life of a man with one foot, but dives into bigger discussions around drug abuse, addiction, and war. (Independently published) ‘Pete’ Illustrated by Emily Cannon.

Words by Badge Daudin Anyone who’s contended with inflation in the Bay area can relate to Pete, who doesn’t want to get out of bed, but forces himself to. Along the way, he medicates with coffee, a trip to what looks like the Saturday morning market, one of St. Petersburg’s waterfront museums, Sunken Gardens, Mazzaro’s and even a French restaurant. The thing is, Pete’s an alligator, and this is a kid’s book that should be in the bookcase of every child who calls Tampa Bay home. (Svømmer Publishing)

‘Rainbow Haven’ By Daniel Collins In his first kids book, a hypercolor quick read featuring six bright animals who meet a crash of gray rhinos, Collins introduces readers to Rosio the Red Rhino who overcomes her loneliness and teaches us all to accept each other just the way we are. (Independently published) ‘The Reformatory’ By Tananarive Due A historical fiction novel with a touch of the paranormal set in 1950s Jim Crow Florida, Tananarive Due’s newest book (for fans of “We Carry Their Bones” and “The Nickel Boys”) draws inspiration from the state’s infamous Dozier School for Boys and “the relative her family never spoke of.” It’s billed as a literal haunting tale about the racism and injustice endured by countless real children at the hands of the state of Florida. (Saga Press) ‘Rescue at Rattling Ridge’ By Michael Panzner Panzner is a Tampa-based author, but his latest takes kids to Australia where a family of marsupials (The Taekwonderoos) karate kicks and chops their way through trouble all while learning about perseverance and facing your fears. (Twin Unicorn Publishing) ‘Resurrection Walk’ By Michael Connelly Lawyer Mickey Haller is back in this Lincoln Lawyer novel and being overwhelmed with pleas from more incarcerated people asking his assistance in proving their innocence.

For a case about a woman convicted of killing her husband but adamantly claims innocence, Haller teams up with his half-brother Harry Bosch to investigate the woman’s case. (Little, Brown and Company) ‘Swamp Story’ By Dave Barry Bestselling author Dave Barry is back with another “only in Florida” comedic thriller. Inside, there’s a washed up reality TV star, a cabin in the Everglades, a long-lost treasure, a scheme to lure TikTokers to catch videos of the “Melon

Monster” and a presidential hopeful kicking off his campaign in the swamp for some reason.

And because it’s Barry, there are plenty of “big ass reptiles” to go around. (Simon & Schuster) ‘They Come From the Water’ By Wendy Dalrymple Indie horror author Wendy Dalrymple published a Florida gothic novel that packs family trauma, grief and destructive secrets and lies into its 124 pages. This one stars estranged sisters forced to work together to clear out their grandparents’ lakefront Central Florida home in the middle of summer—with plenty of twisty, creepy revelations along the way. (Independently published) ‘The Vaster Wilds’ By Lauren Groff A historical thriller with a touch of horror, the author of “Florida” is back with a tale about a young girl who flees the starving and diseased Jamestown colony after reportedly committing a crime. “The Vaster Wilds” is very much a wilderness survival story, but through starvation and exposure to the elements, the story also becomes a surreal trip through her mind and memories. (Riverhead Books) ‘Until All You See Is Sky’ By George Choundas Choundas is New York-based now, but his collection of essays opens on Howard Avenue in Tampa, the city where his family moved when he was just nine years old. The opening essay, “Paylessness” is a fascinating look at how a child outsider from a working class neighborhood in New Jersey views the world of the South Tampa elites and their cotillions, and how it all fits in with the Church’s Chickens and Payless stores that we’re all so familiar with.

(EastOver Press) ‘Wild Florida: An Animal Odyssey’ By Kirsten Hines Florida biologist, conservationist and photographer Kirsten Hines has traveled from the panhandle and into the Dry continued on page 46

KIRSTEN HINES

‘Image Breaker’ By Mark E. Leib For 17 (years, Mark Lieb’s CL byline set its gaze on the Bay area theater scene, delivering glowing reviews and pull-no-punches criticism. Over the summer, the playwright and author unleashed his own work for review in the form of a new novel, “Image Breaker,” about a know-it-all writer whose confidence takes a backseat to hallucinations about how he’s wasting his life.

(Vine Leaves Press) ‘Incidental Art‘ By Joshua Pearson With a big focus on self-care, Pearson—a longtime Tampa artist with work all over the city—has assembled a hardcover collection of essays and photos that is a little bit memoir, part journal, and not just a must-read for local art lovers interested in learning about the process/story behind one of the city’s longest-running creative shops, but required reading for anyone hoping to make a living—and stay alive—in the creative-for-hire world. Read more about it on p. 41. (Independently published) ‘The Infinite Loop / El lazo infinito’

By Oneyda Gonzalez For the first time ever, Gonzalez—a Cuban poet who, per the Harvard Crimson, “is the most recent winner of the Paz Prize for Poetry, a biennially awarded prize presented by the National Poetry Series and Miami Book Fair at Miami Dade College”—presents poems both in her native Spanish and English.

Side by side, whether you’re bilingual or not, the collection is a reflection on love, pain and hope that finds itself resurfacing hours and weeks after you read the poems as you move through everyday life. (Akashic Books) ‘Label Me’ By Ronnie Wyche In a new book of poetry that’s the follow-up to 2020’s “Lilblkbook” Tampa author Ronnie Wyche shakes off the stress and anxiety of the Covid years and turns in another collection of work that he told CL feels more like himself. “Those poems just had a lot of angst and anger in them.

And I was like, ‘I’m not typically an angry person. I’m mostly kind of calm and jovial,” he added. The final product isn’t any less introspective, but feels lighter in the conscience and easier to recite thanks to the lyrical poems that read like mini vignettes of Wyche’s life watching Tampa grow around him. (Independently published) ‘Learning From Birmingham: A Journey into History and Home’ By Julie Buckner Armstrong English professor and Civil Rights scholar, Dr. Julie Buckner Armstrong’s newest book is part historical nonfiction and part memoir of her and her family’s connection to her hometown of Birmingham, Alabama. She digs deep into her own family’s history and the city’s local narratives to trace connections to the larger Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s and lessons that can be applied to 21st century America. (University of Alabama Press) ‘The London Seance Society’ By Sarah Penner Another historical dual-POV thriller

JUMP FOR JOY: Kirsten Hines will be in town to talk about her wildlife photos and more.

cltampabay.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2023 | 45

HIGH VOLTAGE: Reggie Watts’ new book is a love letter to home.

BOOKS AVALON ENTERTAINMENT

continued from page 45 Tortugas over and again in her quest to bring light to the state’s unique biodiversity. The photos in her new 304-page hardcover dance a thin line between educational and fine art as they capture more than 100 different animals who are depending on humans to preserve their precious habitat. The addition of essays bring to light Hines’ thinking as she moves through the state and interacts with people who want to love Florida, and its wildlife, as much as she does. Hines is at Tampa’s Oxford Exchange this Sunday, Dec. 17 for a book talk that kicks off at 3:30 p.m. (University Press of Florida) ‘Wrecker’ By Carl Hiaasen This middlegrade crime thriller follows Valdez Jones VIII, aka. Wrecker, as he becomes entangled with a crew of smugglers—and possibly grave robbers— in Key West. Wrecker wants to forget about what he saw when he first encountered them, but the group wants him to be their lookout. There are also pooping iguanas, because Florida. (Knopf Books for Young Readers) ‘Ybor City: Crucible of the Latina South’ By Sarah McNamara Tampa native and historian McNamara compiled about a decade’s worth of research into a deep dive into the story of Tampeñas who not only fought fascism, but some who served as local organizers for the American Federation of Labors.

Inspiration for present day labor organizers,

the book is not some alternative perspective on what happened in Ybor City, but real history and storytelling verified by records in the archives of the USF special collections, petitions in the City of Tampa archives and the city directories that are part of a treasure chest of artifacts at the Tampa Bay History Center.(The University of North Carolina Press) Non-Florida authors “Christmas and Other Horrors: An Anthology of Solstice Horror” Perfect for fans of Krampus, this is a chilling collection of scary short stories showcasing holiday lore and winter solstice traditions from around the world. With stories from more than a dozen authors, the anthology features tales about the Austrian Schnabelperchten, the Welsh Mari Lwyd and other ghouls and spirits of the dark winter season. (Titan Books) ‘Godly Heathens’ By H.E. Edgmon In this one for fans of Edgmon’s “The Witch King” or “Black Sun” by Rebecca Roanhorse, a nonbinary Seminole teen is stuck in a small town in the deep south, and the only person who knows their true self is thousands of miles away. Then Gem begins having haunting visions and connects with the strange new girl in town, who eventually tells them they are reincarnated gods. (Wednesday Books) ‘Goth’ By Lol Tolhurst The Cure’s June set at Amalie Arena will live on in the mind

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of local fans forever, and a new memoir from the band’s former drummer and keyboardist is a worthy read for anyone who feels like the set was a life-changer. Inside, Tolhurst—an inarguably expert source—tells his version of goth as he traces the subgenre from its origins in 18th century literature to its present state.

He takes you face to face with Joy Division’s Ian Curtis a year before his death, and shows readers where goth exists everywhere in their daily lives. (Hachette Books) ‘Great Falls, MT: Fast Times, PostPunk, Weirdos, and a Tale of Coming Home Again’ By Reggie Watts Jon Batiste may have Grammys and a Netflix documentary out right now, but he’s not the former late night bandleader with a kickass book out on shelves for the holiday season. In his latest work, Reggie Watts—the beloved musician, comedian, writer and actor who led the band on CBS’ “The Late Late Show with James Corden”—puts forth a love letter to his childhood and the city that raised him that reads more like a page-turner in-depth zine than the 317-page hardcover that it comes packaged as. The “Tale of Coming Home Again” is poignant at every turn and a welcome reminder that’s totally cool—and OK—to be weird as hell. (Penguin Random House) ‘Never Whistle at Night: An Indigenous Dark Fiction Anthology’ It’s a common belief among Indigenous peoples that you should never

whistle at night. Some believe it can summon ancient warriors, witches or evil spirits. This anthology explores this belief through original haunting tales of ghosts, curses, monsters, family legacy and celebrations of survival. (Vintage) ‘The Storyteller: Tales of Life and Music’

By Dave Grohl After spilling untold stories of working with Nirvana, his relationship with his father, and once swimming in the Sharon Tate murder house’s pool in 2021’s “The Storyteller,” the Foo Fighters frontman had one more lesson to squeeze in. Or, anti-lesson, if you will. The autobiography’s brand new epilogue “The Box” explores how a remedial guitar teacher and really observing song structure and instrumentation in the respective catalogs of The Beatles and Rush was what really caused Grohl to think for himself, and also to never ever use the term “think outside the box.” “Fuck the box. Just do it,” he wrote. (Harper Collins)—JB The White Stripes: Complete Lyrics 1197-2001 There’s an entire generation that lives with the guitar licks and kick drum of Jack and Meg White in their heads, and this collection of lyrics by The White Stripes includes the breadth of the band’s output between 1997-2007—the first time Jack's original lyrics have been compiled in one place. Interspersed between it all are essays by Hanif Abdurraqib and Caroline Randall Williams, plus candid photos, rough drafts and alternate lyrics. (Third Man Books)

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Shelf love: All of the indie bookstores in the Tampa Bay area—plus a few that are worth the drive There are few experiences more serotoninboosting than stepping into a bookstore, breathing in the crisp scent of untouched paper or cozy used paperbacks, and picking out a new read to take home. The experience is even better at a local bookstore. Luckily for us, the Tampa Bay area has more than a dozen independent and used bookstores, filled with both new and pre-loved treasures.

Want to support local bookstores without leaving your home? Find your favorites, including the ones below, on Bookshop.org.

—Chelsea Zukowski Back in the Day Books A go-to spot for Dunedin locals, Back in the Day Books offers a curated selection of new and used books and bookish gifts like t-shirts, bookmarks, mugs and socks. The store will also buy used books and collections by appointment. 355 Main St., @DunedinBackintheDayBooks on Facebook Black English Bookstore City Councilwoman Gwen Henderson just opened this indie bookshop with a focus on works by Black authors. The selection in Tampa Heights is 98% African American or Black-authored books with more than half written for children. The educator-turned elected official also aims for the bookstore to be a community event space. 401 E Oak Ave., Tampa. @blackenglishbookstore on Instagram Book + Bottle The trendy shop in downtown St. Pete is a bookstore with wine pairings and a wine store where you can also buy books. It’s a popular spot for happy hours, book clubs and wine tastings. 17 6th St. N, St. Petersburg. bookandbottlestpete.com

new homes. They get new and pre-loved inventory from local shops and libraries as well as donated personal collections. Most of their books cost $1-$3. 10410 66th St. N no. 6, Pinellas Park. @thebookrescuers on Facebook The Book Shack The family-owned shop has been around for over 30 years and continues to stock new inventory every day. Most of its pre-loved books are 75-90% off the original cover price, and The Book Shack also has a trade-in program. 14145 7th St., Dade City. mybookshack.com Book Swap A hidden gem of a bookstore off the busy highway, Book Swap has a large collection of used books and a knowledge staff ready to offer recommendations. As the name implies, it’s also a good local spot to sell and trade your used reads. 32840 U.S.-Hwy 19 N, Palm Harbor. @bookswappalmharbor on Facebook Bookstore 1 The trendy, spacious Bookstore 1 offers all the latest and greatest in new books as well as community events, book clubs and an annual local author book fair.

The booksellers also help run a book lovers podcast and newsletter. 117 S Pineapple Ave., Sarasota. sarasotabooks.com Inklings Book Shoppe Soon to be moving to 243 N Florida Ave., Inklings is a cozy treasure trove of new and used books of all genres—including an entire shelf of indie

Book Corner Tampa Bay Book Corner Tampa Bay has been around for more than 30 years and is a go-to spot for those wanting to hunt for vintage and collectible books.

Amid displays of more-than-100-year-old leatherbound tomes and pulp paperbacks you’ll find stacks of classic children’s books and even some of the most popular fantasy and romance books. 728 W Lumsden Rd., Brandon. bookcornertampabay.com

CITYOFSTPETE/FLICKR

Book Bazaar The cozy and classic bookstore boasts towering and overstacked shelves and the comforting scent of old books. It’s got a little bit of everything in pre-loved form— from collectible classics to pulp paperbacks.

For over 35 years, the Book Bazaar has been “improving Sarasota’s shelf-worth.” 1488 Main St., Sarasota. @aparkersbooks on Facebook

Books at Park Place Books at Park Place is what most people picture when they think of a local bookshop. It’s small and cozy, but filled wall-to-wall with all genres of books.

It also offers a selection of used books and often hosts author and bookish community events. 6800 Gulfport Blvd. S Suite 113, South Pasadena. @BooksAtParkPlace on Facebook The Book Rescuers The Book Rescuers do what their name implies—rescue books and other mixed media and direct them to

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published books signed by their respective authors. 2120 S Combee Rd., Lakeland. inklingsbookshoppe.com Mojo Books and Records The largest indie new and used bookstore in the city, Mojo is known just as much for its book restocks as it is for its solid collection of records for sale. Mojo, which also hosts local music at nighttime, is right down the street from the University of South Florida Tampa campus, so its cafe and stacks are popular among the college-aged youth. 2554 E Fowler Ave., Tampa. mojotampa.com Oxford Exchange The luxurious, Europeanstyle bistro and bookshop is a destination for both locals and visitors. The small bookstore is part of the main entrance to Oxford Exchange and its dark shelves and coverfacing displays allow the books’ colors and titles to pop. The shop also frequently hosts book clubs and author events. 420 W Kennedy Blvd., Tampa. oxfordexchange.com The Paperback Exchange This shop’s shelves are filled with discounted used books, rare pieces and collectibles and works by local authors. There’s always new inventory posted to social media, and the store’s trade-in program offers up to 50% off used books. The owners are also knowledgeable and supportive of diverse, inclusive reads and efforts to provide safe spaces for the LGBTQ community. 6412 Ridge Rd., Port Richey. paperbackexchangebookstore.com

Portkey Books Possibly the smallest local bookshop in the area, Portkey Books is a one-owner, one-employee store with big heart and love for the Safety Harbor community. Owner Crystel Calderon is always organizing book clubs, author events and now midnight release parties for the most popular reads. 404 Main St., Safety Harbor. portkeybooks.com Tombolo Books A community-focused bookstore if there ever was one, Tombolo has become the go-to space for Florida authors to show off their new works and connect with readers. It’s got very artsy St. Pete vibes, and locals love it for that. 2153 1st Ave. S, St. Petersburg. tombolobooks.com Wilson’s Book World The oldest bookstore still open in St. Petersburg, Wilson’s is known for its vast, always growing collection of used books for sale. It’s in a smaller shop now, but there’s always something interesting to be found in the stacks.

Wilson’s also gets new items every week— from vintage hardcovers to TikTok favorites and comics. 535 16th St. N, St. Petersburg. wilsonsbookworld.com The Unbound Bookery A cozy bungalow got turned into an indie bookshop with antique, vintage, new and used books and collectible editions. The women-owned shop also offers services to help readers find rare and hard-to-find books. 1026 Florida Ave. S, Lakeland. theunboundbookery.com

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By Josh Bradley & Ray Roa

Anberlin

C Anberlin Tampa Bay’s very own Anberlin is getting ready to temporarily say goodbye to frontman Stephen Christian (pictured), but not before sending him off in style. The 43-year old—a pastor who works for Grace Family Church’s Clearwater campus—credited a Native American proverb he once heard for inspiring him to spend more time with his community, wife, and children. In the meantime, the remaining members of the band behind “The Feel Good Drag” have hired Matty Mullins of Memphis May Fire to take over lead vocal duties on the road, for the time being. The two-night stand kicks off Thursday and includes two local afterparties with the band happening at Tampa coffee shop and restaurant King State (Dec. 14) and again at the Floridian Social in St. Pete as part of a Dec. 15 Unfun Emo Nite party. (The Ritz, Ybor City) Kevin Gates w/BigXThaPlug The 37-yearold Baton Rouge-based emcee’s new album The Ceremony should have been out by now, but had to be pushed off to January.

The record is supposed to include thoughts about Walmart and guest spots from B.G. and Sexyy Red, and it’s looking like Gates has graduated from his days tearing up Jannus Live (and even serving jail time after kicking a fan at a 2015 gig in Lakeland). This gig at the Yuengling Center—part of his “Only The Generals” tour—won’t be the largest space in Tampa that the 37-year-old’s ever played, but “2 Phones” will definitely go extremely hard in an arena. (Yuengling Center, Tampa) C Philip Charos Quintet As usual, Tampa Bay has a busy weekend of jazz, and while a lot of it is happening in Seminole Heights thanks to Independent and Ella’s, St. Pete gets some of the best slices. Bay area drummer Philip Charos welcomes home his brother Jason Charos—who played on Grammy-winning big band records in 2020 and now works with the Grammys’ 2023 Best New Artist Samara Joy—who’ll play two sets featuring his and big bro’s original compositions backed up by a solid band including David Pate on saxophone, Cole Hazlitt on vibraphone, and bassist Joe Porter. (Bayboro Brewing, St. Petersburg)

FRI 15

C Ethos of Aldissi Another top notch jazz gig finds Bay area pianist Anthony Aldissi, a Gibbs alum now at Temple, home for the holidays, and linking up with another homegrown virtuoustic talent (Roger Lanfranchi, multiinstrumentalist) for a free show that’ll feature Aldissi originals (his latest features epic compositions built around Greek mythology), plus fusion covers and material that tips its cap to J Dilla and hip-hop. (Dunedin Brewery, Dunedin)

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C Jinglerock: The Forum w/MAK/ Quail Hollow/Peace Cult/Homemade Haircuts The Bay area has a healthy slate of Christmas-themed concerts in the pipeline, and one of the first locally-based shindigs of the sort finally goes down on 17th Street.

Indie-rock band The Forum—which headlines the first-of-its-kind “Jinglerock” this weekend in Ybor City and Orlando only—has been arguing in its main group chat about what Christmas songs to throw into the setlist. Even if you’re sick of holiday music

by Friday, the trio did just release its latest, smooth single “Reach” last summer, so you won’t necessarily need to call out requests to even things out. (Crowbar, Ybor City) C John Paul White It’s been almost a decade since John Paul White and Joy Williams put The Civil Wars to rest after only two albums. But sometime in the last year, Taylor Swift brought the two back together to appear on “Safe & Sound (Taylor’s Version),” initially recorded in the early ‘10s for “The Hunger Games” films. Being onstage at this hidden gem in Safety Harbor could make anyone want to tell some stories, so don’t be surprised if White pulls out an anecdote about Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. (Safety Harbor Art and Music Center, Safety Harbor) C Rise Up Concert Series: Ludacris The Buccaneers just positioned themselves ahead of Ludacris’ beloved Atlanta Falcons, but two ass football teams probably won’t be on the mind of the 46-year-old actor and icon of Southern rap when he headlines another weekend of concerts happening on the waterfront as part of the Rise Up concert series.

(St. Pete Pier, St Petersburg) Meteoreyes w/Dead Diplomat/Now In Color/Ooids Meteoreyes (stylized “MeteorEYES”) lead singer Shannon Fortner spent most of their fall somewhat hobbled after a long-awaited knee replacement. They appear to be mostly healed up, because the Sarasota-based “electrorock-synth-pop” trio headlines a gig that also features alternative-rock duo Dead

Diplomat—also from Sarasota—celebrating the release of its heavily-synthed, straightforward debut album Happy Kids. (Oscura, Bradenton) Trace Adkins In 2010, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay's senior music correspondent Gabe Echazabal wrote how the country star “seemed baffled on whether to more closely emulate the cool Southern swagger of Skynyrd frontman Ronnie Van Zant or the swiveling hip action of female magnet heartthrob Tom Jones” while opening for Toby Keith. Nary a year passes where the 61-year-old doesn’t make his way towards the Sunshine State, whether he’s in the same building as Clint Eastwood talking to a chair (never forget that GOP National Convention), or rocking the same bill as Blake Shelton. Following a gig at Grand Ole Opry, Adkins returns to the Hard Rock where he was among the first slate of artists to christen the stage. (Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Casino and Hotel, Tampa) C Wolf-Face w/The Eradicator/Shehehe/ Teen Agers/The 4Js Not sure what’s so scary about Tampa, but Michael J. Wolf hasn’t brought his hairy arse to this side of the Bay since 2019. Wolf, frontman for revered St. Petersburg band Wolf-Face, closes out 2023 with a return to the 813 alongside another masked band (The Eradicator, originally from Chicago and now in Tampa), plus Georgia unit Shehehe and Florida punk favorite Teen Agers playing its final shows before calling it quits. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa) Infinite Third Kava shop rock is the order of the weekend for Billy Mays III, a Bay area ambient music expat (and proud son of late local pitchman Billy Mays II) who’s playing Grassroots on Friday, then Speakeasy on Saturday, plus an on-air Mouth Council session on Drew Garabo’s Friday afternoon show on 102.5-FM The Bone. (Grassroots Kava House, St. Pete)

continued on page 54

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cltampabay.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2023 | 53

continued from page 51

SAT 16

C 6th annual Row Jomah toy Drive Bands traditionally aren’t rolling in money after playing local gigs, but that’s not stopping a pair of them from pitching in this holiday season. Bay area rock outfit Row Jomah hosts the sixth iteration of its toy drive in Dunedin and promises three separate sets of music for its festival and jam-minded fanbase.

“Snow Jomah” will feature holiday music and is augmented by a set of originals and one more block comprised of the band’s “Road To Nowhere” Talking Heads tribute act. If you’re on the other side of Pinellas, psych-rock outfit Beach Terror has its toy drive happening at the same time inside Gulfport hippie enclave The Blueberry Patch. (Dunedin Brewery, Dunedin) C The Blind Boys of Alabama Eightyfour years after its founding, Blind Boys of Alabama is still on the road despite the 2018 passing of leader and founding member Clarence Fountain. The Boys’ show is still a borderline gospel revival and folklorist fantasy where the group works through jubilant gospel standards and music rooted squarely in the African diaspora. The Grammywinning group’s newest member, Reverend Julius Love, who joined in 2020, is flanked by longtime Blind Boy Ricky McKinnie (who became group leader this year) in the lineup.

(Central Park Performing Arts Center, Largo) C Damon Fowler & Friends w/Eddie Wright/Joe Interrante/Berry Duane Oakley/TC Carr/Rob Stoney/Chuck Riley A rite of passage for any Tampeño is catching Damon Fowler—who worked with just about every Allman Brother he could—live. This annual holiday party is no exception, especially considering the presence of Allman Brothers family member Berry Duane Oakley.

(Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa) Dial Drive (album release) w/Earthgirl/ New Aesthetics On the heels of a new album loaded with Alkaline Trio and Face to Face influence (Burning Bridges), Orlandobased pop-punk outfit Dial Drive is currently on the hunt for a new bassist, after OG bassman Trey Ayres made a temporary return to the fold that has lasted over a year.

In order to apply, you have to be local to Orlando, as well as “a good person, a good bass player, have your own gear, be able to sing backup vocals, and have an idea of what it’s like to be in a band,” per a Facebook post.

Bring your resume with you to The Nest this weekend, because a spot in the band would make a hell of a holiday present for all parties. (St. Pete Brewing Co., St. Petersburg) C Hallucination Before Christmas: Monk w/Bunny (Rabbit in the Moon)/ DJ Three/Gettoblaster/more For every kid whose kinks collided with “The Nightmare Before Christmas and Halloween,” this party is for you. Started in Atlanta in the mid-’90s, “Hallucination Before Christmas” is not just the marquee holiday party of Ybor City, but a chance to revel alongside dozens of the south’s best DJs and producers (including local legends Monk and Bunny from Rabbit in the Moon) while also collecting a literal ton of food for Feeding Tampa Bay. You’re gonna feel good in more ways than one after the Castle does last call after this getdown. (The Castle, Ybor City)

JLP Memorial Music Festival: Chris Knight w/Cody Canada & The Departed Chris Knight’s main musical philosophy is that if he doesn’t believe himself, he won’t sing a song. The 63-year-old singersongwriter and his nine studio albums have been compared on the same level as Springsteen and Mellencamp, and he headlines an annual tribute concert to Tarpon Springs resident Joe Pappas, who died in 2021. Profits from this show will go towards the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), and The Wounded Warrior Project.

(St. Nicholas Community Center, Tarpon Springs)

Sutton Foster

C Leon Majcen w/Bryan Elijah Smith Homecomings are a hallmark of this week’s live music calendar, and Leon Majcen is doing his part. The Bay area expat makes his bed in Nashville these days, but the songwriter cut his teeth, and cultivated that trademark growl of a vocal, in local clubs on both sides of the bay. He’s joined on the SHAMC stage by Bryan Elijah Smith, a Virginia songwriter who recently collaborated on the comeback album from Lakeland’s own Rachel Van Plating. (Safety Harbor Art & Music Center, Safety Harbor) C Mae w/Maggie Miles/Veaux Mae once played two gigs at St. Pete’s Jannus Live in 2007, but the Virginia emo-rock band hasn’t been back. Since those gigs, Mae has established its own, since-defunct record label, taken a three-year hiatus, and even reunited for a 10th anniversary gig with ex-member Jake Clemons, who now fills his uncle Clarence’s gigantic shoes on saxophone in Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band. There’s no new music being promoted, but knowing how many side projects have spawned from past and current members, it’s only a matter of time before something fresh emerges.

(Orpheum, Tampa) Tampa Bay Vinyl Drive: Jay Marley You can usually find Reid Shecterle standing watch over the rack at his Stay Humble pop-up at Ol’ Dirty Sundays, but he’s slinging something besides clothes this weekend.

Shecterle told CL that he’s got about 400 records across all genres, and he’s selling them all for $5 a pop, then donating two bucks from each sale to Gasparilla Music Foundation’s Recycled Tunes program, which refurbishes musical instruments and places them in Tampa Bay’s most in-need schools.

Expect to see a lot of hip-hop singles, lots of Latin, bass, and old school rock in the stack while Jay Marley handles the ones and twos.

(The Bricks, Ybor City) C Zebra It’s been 40 years since the New Orleans-based hard rock outfit released its debut album on Atlantic Records with a little help from production legend Jack Douglas (John Lennon, Cheap Trick). All three original members of Zebra are still together and will celebrate their gold-certified debut’s big 4-0 and more as part of their downtown Clearwater debut. (Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater) C Timothy Eerie w/ Fayroy/Liquid Pennies Timothy Eerie’s been on a fouryear trip since releasing a debut album, Ritual, and keeps it wavy on a new album, Work Free Drug Place, where principal Casey Lerman digs deep into groovy psych

54 | DECEMBER 14-20, 2023 | cltampabay.com

JENNY ANDERSON

meditation and scorching acid-rock while microdosing pop influences, too. The Orlando outfit is joined by local beach-goth babe Fayroy and Liquid Pennies. (Bayboro Brewing, St. Petersburg)

SUN 17

C Geri X w/Eric McFadden/Kate Vargas A triumvirate of songwriters comes to the emergent Bayboro Brwing stage when St. Petersburg’s Geri X is joined by flamencoinfluenced San Francisco songsmith Eric McFaded and New York dream-folk architect Kate Vargas. (Bayboro Brewing, St. Petersburg) C Sutton Foster The main reason I started making impromptu trips to New York City earlier this year is because of how deeply I regret missing out on seeing the 2022 Broadway revival of “The Music

Man” with Hugh Jackman in the title role.

Sutton Foster—who portrayed Marian Paroo opposite Jackman—has also played leads in “Thoroughly Modern Millie” and even “Shrek The Musical.” Before she replaces Annaleigh Ashford as Mrs. Lovett in “Sweeney Todd” next month, Foster gets some surely-needed Florida sun during what appears to be a one-night-only Christmas concert in downtown Clearwater. (Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater)

WED 20

Ericka Dunlap The first-ever Black woman to be crowned Miss Florida has some killer pipes, too. Along with a 10-piece band, Dunlap—who would be named Miss America a year after her state title—returns to St. Pete’s fanciest venue for the first time since the night she received the state honor.

(Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg)

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Red Hot Chili Peppers have announced a string of summer tour dates in the U.S., and the Gary is on that list. Tickets to see Red Hot Chili Peppers play Tampa’s MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre on Friday, June 21 went on sale last Friday and start at$100.45.

PAVEL SUSLOV

After spending the bulk of the last year overseas promoting two new studio albums (Unlimited Love and Return of the Dream Canteen), and having the likes of Iggy Pop and The Strokes sharing the bill, Flea and company have decided to enlist the finest in hip-hop to open up shop in the States. Ice Cube opens the Tampa date, because why the hell not?

This will be the band’s first gig in town since a 2017 stop at Amalie Arena with kawaii metal trio Babymetal. In the meantime, please visit this post on cltampa.com/music to enjoy a recently viral clip of “What Red Hot Chili Peppers sound like to people who don’t like Red Hot Chili Pepper.”

See my weekly rundown of new concerts coming Tampa Bay below.—Josh Bradley

Brokenmold Holiday Party: Wild Child (fka Johnny Mile & The Kilometers) w/ Raquel Lily & The Buko Boys Friday, Dec. 22. 8 p.m. $15. Hooch and Hive, Tampa Speakeazie w/TBA Wednesday, Dec. 27. 7 p.m. No cover. Hooch and Hive, Tampa Maude w/Eternal Sweeties/Jordan Esker/Sam Wolter/Willows Friday, Dec. 29.

Donna The Buffalo Saturday-Sunday, Dec. 30-31. 8 p.m. $30 on Saturday, $40 on Sunday. Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa Clara Noctis w/Breed/Flagman/ Luciidea/Dead Mirror Saturday, Jan. 6. 8 p.m. $13. Crowbar, Ybor City Pangea Sound Friday, Jan. 12. 9 p.m. $20.

Crowbar, Ybor City Cinema Stereo w/Ace Monroe/The Dirty Janes/Mortal Son’s/Persephone’s Choice Friday, Jan. 26. 7 p.m. $10. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa Unlimited Devotion w/Road to Nowhere Saturday, Jan. 27. 8 p.m. $18.

Crowbar, Ybor City Mickey Guyton Saturday, Feb. 3. 8 p.m. $34.50 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

Diana Krall Friday, Feb. 16. 8 p.m. $58.25 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater Glenn Hughes w/Enuff Znuff/Bad Marriage Saturday, Feb. 24. 7 p.m. $15 & up.

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The Temptations w/The Four Tops Monday, March 11. 7:30 p.m. $45 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater Godsmack w/Bastian da Cruz Friday, March 15. 8 p.m. $53 & up. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg Less Than Jake w/Strung Out/The Raging Nathans Friday, March 15. 7 p.m. $25. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Bryce Vine w/Hoodie Allen/Yoshi T Saturday, March 16. 8 p.m. $35 & up. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Kelsy Karter & The Heroines Thursday, March 21. 8 p.m. $15 & up. Hooch and Hive, Tampa Ian Munsick w/Meghan Patrick Saturday, April 13. 8 p.m. $30. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Mariah The Scientist Saturday, April 27.

7 p.m. $54, resale only. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Tunnel Vision w/TBA Sunday, Feb. 4. 6 p.m. $15. Hooch and Hive, Tampa

Taj Farrant Saturday, May 4. 7:30 p.m. $38.50. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater

Militarie Gun w/Pool Kids/Spiritual Cramp/Death Lens Thursday, Feb. 8. 6 p.m. $18. Crowbar, Ybor City

Hozier w/Allison Russell Saturday, May 11. 8 p.m. Prices TBA. MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

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58 | DECEMBER 14-20, 2023 | cltampabay.com

Star power

By Caroline DeBruhl

Dear Oracle, my favorite holiday celebrations house for Christmas dinner to getting into a drunk were the ones that happened during COVID. fight with your uncle about politics. Holidays and They were small, intimate, and very casual. This traditions are ceremonial and ritualistic and thus year, things are going back to their old ways (big, carry a much higher emotional pricetag. People fancy, noisy.) How do I prepare for this readjust- can forgive a faux pas on a Tuesday but have ment?—Small-scale celebrator trouble doing so on a high holy day. Harmony is Cards: Ace of Pentacles, The Star the dream, even if it’s rarely achieved. (reversed), Six of Cups, New Moon With the nostalgic heavy Six of Cups, what Dear Small, you have set up a false dichotomy: traditions really mean a lot to you and your things must go back to exactly as they were pre- family? Is there something from childhood that COVID or stay as cozy as they were for the past carried over? Is there a way to scale back on three years. But every year can be different, my seeing, maybe, the WHOLE family? Can you dear. You don’t have to go back to the big noise. shave down your time so you’re there for some Traditions can be cast aside traditions but get to catch and made anew! But first, a break before/after? take stock of what you want With The Star, the to keep and what makes goal is to find a balance sense for you/your family. between what is nurBoth the New Moon turing to you and what Send your questions to oracle@cltampa.com or DM @theyboracle on Instagram and the Ace of Pentacles creates harmony with the are cards of new opportunioutside world—in this ties and beginnings, with the New Moon being case, those you celebrate with. Again, we go a bit more intentional (what do you actually back to that New Moon energy of intention. want to do instead of the big gathering?) and Instead of just showing up to a large gatherthe Ace of Pentacles more practical (how are ing and being miserable or cutting everyone you going to do this?) off and spending the holidays alone, how can I will not pretend that bucking tradition is you navigate this and keep your balance? easy. I imagine many families have some version I do think you can navigate and negotiate a of the game “Who ruined Christmas?” for any and better holiday experience for yourself, though all holiday gatherings, with the sins of this sea- it might take some time to get it right. (With son ranging from trying something “fun” with the The Star reversed, it might be a multi-year brisket to wearing jeans to your grandmother’s process of figuring things out.) Be graceful

ORACLE OF YBOR

with yourself and with others. And if things get really overwhelming and out of hand, remember: it’s still cold and flu season. You can always come down with a fever six hours into Christmas and go to bed early.

Best of luck, my dear.

Dear Oracle, my mother-in-law is very “generous” with the gifts she gives my two very young children. The gifts are incredibly expensive, fairly impractical, and absolutely not appreciated by the toddler recipients. (Think: sterling silver sippy cups and bone-china piggy banks.) I don’t want to come across as ungrateful, but it seems like such a waste of money. I want to tell her that a stuffed animal at a fraction of the price would be much more loved and used. How can I have this conversation?—Literal Silver Spoon Cards: Four of Pentacle, King of Pentacles, Waxing Crescent, The Emperor Dear Silver Spoon, I don’t know if babies can tell the difference between Armani bottles that retail at $89 a pop or the ones they sell at Target, but I imagine they cannot. It is surprising that your mother-in-law, who had at least one child, would opt for the beautiful-impractical gifts (ones usually doled out by rich, childless aunts and uncles) over the useful ones, but again, I believe this speaks more to your mother-in-law’s nature than it does to you.

With the Four of Pentacles and the King of Pentacles, I think your mother-in-law likes to be viewed as the provider and a wealthy individual.

The Queen of Pentacles tends to represent true generosity, whereas the king is wealth—and the vanity that can come with that. I don’t know if

she grew up wealthy, made her own fortune, or married into it, but the Four of Pentacles does speak to a worry about not having enough.

The Four of Pentacles often comes up if one is worried about security and stability, though in this case, I think she might be worried that her grandchildren will not “have enough.” She wants them to possess these beautiful, useless things. It doesn’t matter if that bone-china piggy bank sits high on a shelf gathering dust.

It belongs to them. They will have these symbols of status and wealth, symbols that are important to her identity.

Now, etiquette expert Emily Post says that in the case of awful gifts, you simply say “thank you!” and deal with it later to avoid hurting the gift-givers feelings. You could go that route, quietly collecting a trunk of silver for your children to hawk when they turn 18, or you could talk to her.

The Waxing crescent asks us to think about our intentions and what knowledge we’ve gathered, and the diplomatic Emperor is wise in choosing words. If you do talk to her, do so with intention. She has a much bigger emotional investment in giving these gifts than your children currently do in receiving them. Perhaps you can talk to her into the toy direction, and she can start buying them baby Mercedes or Lamborghinis as status symbols. If you talk to her, be diplomatic. There’s a good chance you’ll be dealing with her for decades to come and will probably be setting more boundaries down the road.

Find more from Caroline DeBruhl and book services via carolinedebruhl.com.

cltampabay.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2023 | 59

60 | DECEMBER 14-20, 2023 | cltampabay.com

Maintenance haze

By Dan Savage

It’s been a month since my great five-year-long relationship ended and it’s my fault. We were both in our mid-40s, got along, and had amazing sex three to four times a week. Yet I felt unsatisfied with the sex, as it was almost always “maintenance sex,” at least on my ex-partner’s side. While I found it enjoyable, I knew she often didn’t. Another reason for my dissatisfaction was her inability to converse about the things I am most passionate about: music, movies, anime, and the paranormal. Her interests were tax codes, insurance rates, and other administrative topics. It should also be noted that my ex was a heavy pot smoker due to terrible menstrual cramps and, as a consequence, I became a huge pothead.

I actually broke up with her after our first year, but we ended up getting back together after she texted to tell me how heartbroken she was. I loved her and felt terrible about the whole situation, so I caved. Afterall, I enjoyed my time with her, and, despite conversations that were often boring, the pot-fueled maintenance sex was amazing, and the cuddling afterward was nice.

Fast forward three years and an attractive woman in her twenties moves in next door and we quickly become friends. She would bring pastries over for my child (I’m a single dad) and once brought soup over when I had the flu. On one occasion she drunkenly knocked on my door late at night, wanting to hang out. I couldn’t, as I had my child at the time. Due to the dissatisfaction I had long felt about the maintenance sex that characterized my relationship, I was tempted to have sex with my neighbor, if she was interested. I told my girlfriend about the late-night incident, and she demanded that I no longer hang out with my neighbor. I agreed but soon I was hanging out with my neighbor behind my girlfriend’s back. My girlfriend found out by snooping through my phone and broke up with me.

I was devastated and begged for her to forgive me, which she did on the condition that I cease all contact with my young neighbor. I agreed and another (pleasant) year passed until I met another young woman who seemed to like me.

This young woman, also in her 20s, was interested in all the same things I am. Knowing I couldn’t trust myself, I made the difficult decision to break up with my girlfriend. When she left my house for what I thought would be the last time, I felt like I had destroyed a functional relationship. It wasn’t perfect—lack of common interests, uneven sex drives—but we enjoyed each other’s company. So, a week later I asked her to take me back again. She agreed. A few weeks later, I was again scheming to hang out with this 20-something young woman. I was almost immediately busted by my girlfriend—she snooped and read my texts (this time on my laptop)—and upon discovering my betrayal, she screamed at me at the top of her lungs before slamming the door and exiting my life, this time, I fear, forever.

Will the regret and shame I feel ever go away? I’m utterly “maiden-less” now I’m utterly ‘maiden-less’ now and, in my mid -0s, am having a difficult time finding someone in my wheelhouse. I was kidding myself that two cute women in their twenties would be interested in a man like me. So, not only did I wreck a perfectly good relationship, in the end I wrecked it for nothing.

There was no pussy at the end of this shit rainbow. Please, Dan, tell me something that will make me feel better about this flaming dumpster. Will I find my way? Or am I condemned to forever lay in the bed I shat?—Anonymous Magnum Subscriber So, you didn’t actually cheat on your exgirlfriend, right? You thought about cheating on her, AMS, and you were tempted to cheat on her, and you’d gone to the trouble of crafting a rationalization: the sex with the girlfriend, while amazing, was maintenance sex (at least on her end), which somehow ruined the sex for you without making it any less amazing.

I’m not sure how one squares that circle—lousy and amazing—but in the end, AMS, you never actually touched someone else with your dick.

And it’s not like you were indiscreet. Your ex only learned you were talking to a young neighbor that— let’s be honest—nothing was likely to happen with because 1. you told your ex about her and 2. your ex took that admission as a justification to snoop on your devices.

I’m not your ex-girlfriend—my boundaries are not her boundaries—but if I were a straight woman in my 40s with a straight male partner in his 40s, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn he’d engaged in harmless, delusional, and discreet flirtations with other women. If I knew I couldn’t handle it emotionally, I would ask him not to tell me about his flirtatious interactions with other women and I wouldn’t go looking for evidence of them. So long as my boyfriend didn’t do anything stupid—so long as flirtations remained flirtations and didn’t turn into affairs and/or the kind of obsessions that result in neglect—I would suspend my disbelief, turn a blind eye, and enjoy a few harmless flirtations of my own. But, again, I’m not your girlfriend, AMS, and neither is girlfriend anymore.

Zooming out for a second… Many people want to believe that younger women who are interested in older men—which includes a subset of young women who are specifically attracted to partnered older men for reasons—are a figment of the straight male imagination. That’s not true.

While there are fewer younger women out there who are interested in older men than there are older men like to imagine and/or write screenplays about, some younger women are attracted to older men. (Jon Hamm is in his 50s and he can still get it.) The odds that you ran into two of these women in such a short period of time are close to zero (as are the odds that you look like Jon Hamm), AMS, but it seems possible— at least to me—that you might’ve run into one.

Or…Your young drunk neighbor and/or that other young woman who was interested in the paranormal might not have been flirting with you at all and you misread—due to dickful thinking—simple/messy neighborliness and/or shared interests as sexual interest.

I’ve been going on for a while here without answering your question: Will you find your way?

Yes, AMS, you will. It’s only been a month since you broke up with your on-again, off-again, onagain, off-again, on-again, off-again ex-girlfriend.

J u s t because you haven’t found someone else in four weeks doesn’t mean you won’t find someone else. My hunch is that you’ll wind up getting back together with your ex-girlfriend—onagain, off-again relationships are like that—and when you do, AMS, I hope you’ll have a renewed appreciation for her.

Frankly, AMS, your ex-girlfriend sounds pretty amazing… and you sound like you let your ego, vanity, and self-pity fuck up a good-to-great relationship. If you’re lucky enough to have ex come back into your life, resolve not to take her for granted anymore. If maintenance sex makes you sad, only have sex when she’s horny— sex that she’s just as excited to have—and take care of yourself the rest of the time. If she doesn’t enjoy discussing music, movies, anime, and the paranormal, talk about other things (there are other things). And speaking as someone who doesn’t understand tax codes and insurance rates, being with someone who does—God bless you, Terry—is a pretty good deal.

P.S. They say there’s no fatal dose of pot, but if discussing the paranormal was something my partner insisted on, I would find it.

P.P.S. Delete “shit rainbow” from your vocabulary immediately.

P.P.P.S. Thank you for being a Magnum Sub, AMS!

SAVAGE LOVE

My friend needs help. He’s an adorable 30-year-old gay boy who’s a top but his mannerisms, height, demeanor, and exceptionally cute butt suggest otherwise. We’ve been friends since I was 19 and he was 22. Here’s the issue: He’s so strident about monogamy that it turns most men off, which is a shame. Most gay/bi men expect some

degree of openness! Additionally, like that one college student you’ve mentioned on your show, he thinks relationships that start out as hookups or something slightly sleazier are suspect whereas I and the most significant men in my life disagree!

Besides occasionally offering a nudge, is there anything I can do for him? He truly is a catch, and I don’t like seeing him glum. He’s broken up with several guys who can’t commit to total monogamy forever—all while still being flirty with me, a guy who has multiple partners. (Nothing would work out between us, as we’re both tops.) I know that my life is enhanced dramatically by my boyfriends, and I just want him to have what I have, instead of going to bed alone almost every night. How can I help him?—Boy Explaining One Possible Erotic Niche Does he want to be helped, BEOPEN? I’ve known some gay couples who met cute, e.g., their straight besties conspired to introduce them, they reached for the same sweater on a sale rack, they took a class together at college, etc. But most gay couples I’ve known met sleazy, e.g., they swapped hole pics on Grindr by way of introduction, they were chained to the same rack in a sex dungeon in Berlin, they met sucking dick in a cruisy toilet at college, etc. I’m going to guess that your friend, having been out and for at least decade, has met enough gay couples to know that ruling out guys he meets under sleazy circumstances—he doesn’t go to bed alone every night—is an act of romantic self-sabotage.

Same goes for browbeating men who might be willing to consider monogamy (at least at the start, at least for him) by insisting they commitment to monogamy on principle before he’ll consider dating them.

So, I’m guessing this problem—your hot friend’s inability to find a boyfriend—isn’t a problem for him. Some people set unrealistic expectations/conditions at the start of their dating lives, they’re alone as a result, and they eventually adjust their expectations/conditions. But not everyone who sets unrealistic expectations/conditions is unhappy about being alone—some prefer to be alone—but they would rather be seen as pitiable than seen as being damaged or emotionally stunted. (For the record: I don’t think people who prefer to be single are damaged or emotionally stunted.) So, they never adjust their expectations/conditions because they’re only pretending to be unhappy about still being single.

Seeing as there are guys out there who want monogamy as badly as your friend (my hunch) on pretending he does, BEOPEN, the fact that he hasn’t managed to locate even one over the last decade is solid evidence he isn’t seriously looking. Which means your friend’s insistence on monogamy isn’t an obstacle he faces, but rather a barricade he built.

Got problems? Everyone does! Send your question to mailbox@savage.love! Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love

cltampabay.com | DECEMBER 14-20, 2023 | 61

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