Creative Loafing Tampa — May 5, 2022

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PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf STAFF WRITER Justin Garcia FOOD and THEATER CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge FILM & TV CRITIC John Allman

The unity we felt during these protests was all the encouragement I needed to keep attending.

GEORGE GOLDBERG

IN-HOUSE WITCH Caroline DeBruhl CONTRIBUTORS Josh Bradley, Gabe Echazabal, Chloe Greenberg, Kyla Fields, Dan Savage, Chelsea Zukowski

ory

PHOTOGRAPHERS Dave Decker, Jon William

stion ................. 5 tory

EDITORIAL INTERN Sofía García Vargas

Apply summer via rroa@cltampa.com SeaWorld in for February, animal rights claiming the practice of keeping wild Spatafora CREATIVE DIRECTOR Jack d dangerous.

But even though public ILLUSTRATORS Joe Newton, Dan Perkins, atmany SeaWorld animal rights don’t in seeFebruary, a Robinson, parallel between the kind Cory Bob Whitmore , claiming the practice of keepinganimals wild k and the practice of displaying ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES nd dangerous. even though public asking forSENIOR tooBut much?

Or is it time for a Anthony Carbone, Scottthe Zepeda d, many don’t see a parallel between kind t” animals?

stion ................. 5

Tampa photographer releases new book of protest photos, p. 27.

ck and the practice of displaying animals AND MARKETING, PROMOTIONS s asking for too much?

Or is it time for a EVENTS DIRECTOR ent” animals? Alexis Quinn Chamberlain

MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS COORDINATOR Lauren Caplinger

Music: Tampa Bay Blues Fest ........................... 40

CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Andrew Zelman CHIEF OPERATING OFFICERS Music ...................................................

The ListWeek ..........................................................

46 Chris Keating, Michael Wagner42 Concert review: Artic Monkeys ..........................

42 VPreviews OF DIGITAL SERVICES Stacy Volhein Movie .....................................................

63 OPERATIONS COORDINATOR TheDIGITAL List Astrology ..........................................................

Free Will .........................................46 64 Jaime Monzon Movie ........................................................... reviews..................................................... 63 Puzzler 66 Music: Tampa Fest ...........................

Concert review:Bay ArticBlues Monkeys ..........................40 42

euclidmediagroup.com Free Will Astrology......................................... 64 Savage Love ...................................................... 69 cltampa.com Puzzler ...........................................................

66 cldeals.com Savage Love ......................................................

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Creative Loafing Tampa is published by Tampa Weekly, LLC, 633 N Franklin St., Suite 735. Tampa, Florida, 33602.

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This is the second time Castor has come under scrutiny by the U.S. Department of Justice.

The newspaper is produced and printed on Indigenous land belonging to Tampa Bay’s Tocobaga and Seminole tribes.

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Tampa’s ‘crime free’ housing is under federal investigation, p. 15.

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EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa is a publication covering public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum.

They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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Stageworks’ latest leads list of things to do this weekend.

By Ray Roa

Y

bor City is coming to Channelside, care of Stageworks Theatre, which presents “Anna In the Topics,” opening this weekend on Friday, May 6 and running every weekend through May 23. Miami-based playwright Nilo Cruz—who won a Pulitzer for the work in 2003—dropped his characters in Ybor City before it was historic (c. 1929) and within the walls of one of the neighborhood’s cigar factories.

A trigger warning for conservatives, however, because the play very quickly takes a turn for the woke when a new lector starts reading Tolstoy’s “Anna Karenina” to workers who’re spending their days toiling away while hand rolling cigars.

“The classic story suddenly parallels the lives of the factory workers and forever changes their world. Passions are ignited, affairs are consummated, and gunshots are fired,” a press release says. Producing Artistic Director Karla Hartley points to the longing, love and betrayal baked into Cruz’s script, adding that the work is also about the power of literature.

“Although it’s set in Ybor City, ‘Anna in the Tropics’ explores topics that are still relevant worldwide, such as masculinity, women’s independence, and corporate finances and responsibility,” Hartley said.

A bi-lingual cast will also present the work in Spanish during five performances (May 7, 14 and 21 at 3 p.m.; May 13 & 21 at 8 p.m.). The majority of “Anna in the Tropics” cast members—including native Tampeño Marlene Peralta (pictured, right)—have been a part of Stageworks’ Hispanic Initiative since its inception. “Anna In the Tropics” May 6-23. $15-$40. Stageworks Theatre, 1120 E Kennedy Blvd. no. 151, Tampa. stageworkstheatre.org

Good vibes only Derby day is here, and you better get charged up.

The Tampa City Athletic Association’s signature event is back in the West River District when Hooch and Hive once again plays host to an afternoon of vibrator racing. Organizers say “pre-race shenanigans” start at 7 p.m. ahead of the first race at 9 p.m., but two hours seems like a long time to just sit there with a supercharged dildo in your pocket. Regardless, it’s BYOV, although Hooch will have vibrators for sale, too (batteries included).

And before you get your undies in a bunch, know that a portion of proceeds will benefit the Spring of Tampa Bay, which has been providing safe spaces and empowering services to survivors of domestic violence and their children for four decades now.

Vibrator Races 2022: Dildo Derby. Saturday, May 7, 7 p.m. $10 suggested donation. Hooch and Hive, 1001 W Cass St., Tampa. hoochandhive.com Today your love In the wake of Politico’s reporting on a major U.S. Supreme Court leak of documents suggesting justices will overturn “Roe v. Wade,” nobody knows what tomorrow’s world is going to look like. That’s why Tampa Bay nonprofit Lady Business—whose mission is to help underprivileged girls and women obtain proper feminine care without barriers or stigma—is going to be at Dunedin Brewery’s 17th annual Ramones tribute show asking fans of the legacy New York City punk band to bring in tampons, pads, menstrual cups and cash to be distributed throughout the community. Women wanna live, so help them do it—period. Ramones Tribute 17. Saturday, May 7, 8 p.m. No cover.

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“ …forgetting to record audio or video in a certain situation could lead to a difficult situation for the officers involved.”

POLITICS

ISSUES

OPINION

Hearing problems

Tampa police add controversial mute function to body worn cameras.

By Justin Garcia

L

ast week, Tampa Police Department (TPD) revealed what it called “minor” changes to the department’s body worn cameras, which includes a mute function that has proven controversial in other cities, and a sleep function which makes it easier to turn a camera on and off.

During a Citizen’s Review Board (CRB) meeting on April 26, TPD Captain Patrick Messmer from the Professional Standards Bureau announced the changes, which were decided on by TPD Chief Mary O’Connor.

“We made some minor changes to our body worn camera policy...,” Messmer told the CRB. “We have tweaked our policy a little bit to make things a little bit more friendly and to ensure that we don’t have video that potentially could not be captured.”

Messmer went on to explain that previously, when a police officer turned off their camera, it would take time to shut down and reboot.

But with TPD’s new mute and sleep function, it will be easier for officers to immediately cut off sound, or sound and video altogether to limit certain types of information.

According to Messmer, the functions would be used, “when [an] officer reasonably believes doing so would not result in the loss of critical documentary information, reasonably believes it’s necessary to protect tactical or confidential discussions or briefings, or as directed to do so by a supervisor.” He repeatedly said that the function could be used for privacy, especially when an officer is using the restroom, so the officer wouldn’t have to turn off the camera and turn it back on.

The problem with these new functions, especially the mute function, is the controversy they’ve caused in other cities across the country, sometimes in highly sensitive situations.

In 2018, when Sacramento police officers shot and killed Stephon Clark, the mute function was used immediately after an officer involved shooting when officers were discussing the situation. According to NBC News, the incident, “opened up a new front in the national debate over body cameras: officers’ ability to turn off the microphone on the device.”

The backup officer responding to the scene in the video posted by NBC News can clearly be

heard saying “Hey, mute” before the scene goes silent and officers discuss the scenario.Cedric Alexander, a former president of the National Organization of Black Law Enforcement Executives and a member of the Task Force on 21st Century Policing under former President Barack Obama, told NBC that the muting in that situation looked bad for the officers.

A 2018 investigation by 12 News KPNX questioned the Mesa Police Department’s use of the mute function, showing that it was used by an officer when he pulled over a city councilman who was driving drunk, and the councilman and his wife tried to argue their way out of the scenario. While speaking with his superior, the officer used the mute function three times.

The 12 News team spoke with Dr. William Terrill, an expert on police culture at Arizona State University.

“If you’re muting it for certain reasons then it’s a concern of why that would be the case and it raises suspicions from a public viewpoint,” Terrill said. “It’s hard to say why Axon would incorporate that as a feature.”

In November of last year, a federal lawsuit was opened against a Baton Rouge, Louisiana officer who was accused of muting his bodycam before spewing profanity and illegally detaining a woman, causing injuries to her.

Chief O’Connor told CL that while the changes were already being asked for by the Tampa Police Benevolent Association before she became chief in February, she ultimately made the call. O’Connor said the police union cited privacy concerns for officers, but she also had other reasons for wanting the changes.

She said that there are certain triggers, such as police sirens, which activate the cameras at times when an officer is not responding to a scene, as well as other situations, such as entering a convenience store and using the restroom, where an officer might not want the camera on.

“Then, the officer has to power the camera off and back on, and the entire time for the camera to come back on can take up to 50 seconds,” O’Connor said. “So, in a situation where an officer is in a restroom in a convenience store, if there’s a robbery in progress or something in

the convenience store and they’ve run out of the bathroom, you’re going to lose that 50 seconds of coverage, whereas if you’re in sleep mode or mute mode, and the robbery is going on, all you have to do is hit the recording button, and it’s going to automatically start recording with audio.”

When asked if there was a situation like this that occurred at TPD which led O’Connor make the decision, she said, “I’m not 100% certain on that right now,” but added that she did a “very lengthy examination” into the changes before making them.

To the question of how much faster the officers will be able to limit recordings from their cameras using sleep and mute mode as opposed to powering them off, O’Connor said she wasn’t sure.

When asked about the controversies the changes have caused in other cities, O’Connor said, “I don’t really want to speak for policy decisions that other agencies make. I think every agency has to examine the function of the cameras and how it can best accommodate them.”

St. Pete Police Department told CL that it purposefully chose not to use the sleep and mute functions presented by Axon, the company that makes and operates body cameras for law enforcement agencies worldwide, including Tampa and St. Pete.

SPPD Spokesperson Yolanda Fernandez said that the decision was based upon battery usage and officers having to remember when to activate the functions. continued on page 12

LOCAL NEWS

CAM GUYS: Tampa police officers in September 2020.

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continued from page 11

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“It’s a job with a lot of moving parts, officers are responding to complicated situations every day,” Fernandez told CL. Fernandez said that adding the mute and sleep function only complicate what officers have to do in the field, and forgetting to record audio or video in a certain situation could lead to a difficult situation for the officers involved.

She said that the functions could potentially also drain the battery on body worn cameras, which played into SPPD’s decision not to use the functions. While SPPD understands officers need for privacy in certain situations, the above mentioned concerns informed the department’s decision to not use the functions.

CL contacted the company Axon about the controversies the mute functions has caused, but did not receive an immediate response.

We will update this post online with any new information.

Yvette Lewis, President of the Hillsborough NAACP, said that TPD contacted their office in 2020 after it got federal money to expand a 60-camera pilot program to 650 cameras. But she said the NAACP was not contacted about these new changes.

“It seemed that TPD got these body cams to try to rebuild trust and transparency with the community,” Lewis told CL. “But taking steps like

this starts to tear down that trust. Why would they do this in private without contacting us?”

The body cameras were introduced department wide in June of 2020 during the George Floyd uprising, causing pushback from some in the police department. In the wake of the announcement of body cams, former Police Chief Brian Dugan said that officers who didn’t like the change could quit. Purchasing the 600 body cameras for TPD cost $952,000.

The CRB, which has been criticized for lacking teeth, accepted the changes presented by Messmer with little questioning and moved on.

Five of the eleven board members were appointed

by Mayor Jane Castor, a former chief of police.

The other five were appointed by council, and one seat was appointed by the NAACP. In February, Castor’s appointment of O’Connor as TPD’s police chief caused controversy, with some citing lack of transparency in the search and appointment process, among other issues.

Twenty days before TPD presented these new body cam functions, which limit transparency in the local police department, the mayor held a press conference about transparency and accountability in local government aimed at city council members following recent controversy.

At the presser, she clashed with the media.

Afterwards a city councilman questioned a lack of transparency from the administration itself.

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DOJ-jà vu

Tampa’s ‘crime-free’ housing program is under federal investigation.

By Justin Garcia Despite switching to this new model, the outcry from the community about crime-free multi-housing, and being investigated by the U.S. Department of Justice for the program, the city defended it via the press release and press conference held by Mayor Jane Castor.

Castor spoke up for the program during the last minute presser on April 29, with TPD officers and members of the Tampa Housing Authority backing her up, along with a community member that CL found was shuttled by TPD to speak in favor of crime free multi-housing last year.

When asked by a reporter how this investigation came to pass, Castor claimed that the city initiated it. “The city asked HUD [Housing and Urban Development] we wrote a letter to HUD, asking them to review our previous program, and the new program as well,” Castor claimed. “And then we received a letter from DOJ, under which HUD participates and they, uh, sent us a letter.”

Ten days ago, CL submitted a public records request about communications between the U.S. Department of Justice and the city of Tampa.

The request has not been fulfilled.

LOCAL NEWS

The city’s communication director did not respond immediately to a phone call about the city’s statement.

“The bottom line is that the City of Tampa believes firmly that every resident, regardless of income level or address, deserves to feel safe, and partnerships like SAFE help prevent crime,” Castor said in the press release, which claimed that, “No major city in Florida has a lower crime rate than Tampa.”

“We will never stop standing up for crime victims, including residents victimized by criminal activity in their neighborhoods,” she added.

This is the second time Castor has come under scrutiny by the U.S. Department of Justice for racially-biased programs that she defended over and over again. The first time was when she was police chief and had oversaw the controversial “biking while Black” program, which targeted Black bicyclists for arrest. She stood by that program until her mayoral campaign was ramping up, when she admitted some of the aspects of it were wrong. Castor and Tampa’s current police chief Mary O’Connor oversaw both crime free multi-housing and “biking while Black.”

Watch video from the press conference and get the most updated news on this story via cltampa.com/news.

“This is the second time Castor has come under scrutiny by the U.S. Department of Justice.”

CITY OF TAMPA/YOUTUBE

L

ast Friday, the City of Tampa announced that it is being investigated by the U.S. Department of Justice for its “crime free multi-housing” program. Within the announcement, the city once again defended the controversial project, which came under fire when a Tampa Bay Times investigation found that a large percentage of renters flagged for eviction were Black.

“The U.S. Department of Justice has initiated an investigation of the old Crime Free initiative to ensure that that program did not violate the Fair Housing Act by making unavailable or denying housing units,” the city wrote in a press release. The Fair Housing Act prohibits discrimination by providers of housing.

Under the crime free program, 90% of around 1,100 renters flagged for eviction since 2013 were Black, the Times found. While TPD claimed the program was made to target serious crimes, some renters—including entire families who did not commit any crimes—were at times evicted because a housemate had been arrested for panhandling and petty theft.

A Yale professor and author of ‘How Fascism Works’ reviewed the program’s educational material and told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that the program used both fascist language and unfortunate, racially-loaded stereotypes.

Files obtained by CL this month revealed more racially biased language in the program.

In December of 2021—despite Mayor Jane Castor digging her heels in and defending the program in the face of several legal and civil rights groups asking for it to end—interim police chief Butch Delgado changed the program to what TPD said is a less intrusive model called “SAFE”.

“The Justice Department has acknowledged that the City of Tampa terminated the Crime Free initiative before its review began, and to date the city has not been notified of the results of the Justice Department’s review. The Tampa Police Department has never participated in evictions,” the city wrote, referencing DOJ’ review that started in December of 2021.

On its face, SAFE seems to remove some of the worst aspects of the former program and sever itself from the national “crime free” model. Under SAFE, TPD says it no longer communicates directly with landlords to tell them when a tenant has committed a crime—a move under crime free multi-housing that used to lead directly to evictions. Instead, TPD says the program focuses on education and training on numerous public safety best practices.

Castor also once again claimed that the media was wrong in its reporting of the crime free multi-housing story, a sentiment that was backed up by the city’s press release.

“A 2019 analysis showed that apartment complexes who opted to participate in the citywide program had a 34-37 percent drop in crime, versus a 21-23 percent drop for non-participating apartments,” the city wrote. “Some complexes saw crime decrease as much as 86 percent.

In September, some media outlets incorrectly implied hundreds of tenants had been evicted because landlords were notified of tenants’ arrests through that program.”

The City of Tampa’s press release said the city attorney’s office looked at 529 notices of arrest provided to property managers participating in that program over the past five years and crosschecked them to public eviction records. Of the 529 notifications, only eight evictions were filed and only four were based on criminal activity and non-payment of rent.

But, as the Times pointed out, the city’s analysis, by going back only five years, did not include the first three years of the program.

The program also evicted entire families when a single person allegedly committed a crime, including children and other family members, who did not have their names on the lease.

BY THE WAY: Tampa Mayor Jane Castor announcing a DOJ investigation at a last-minute, Friday afternoon press conference.

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Prove it

SHOW YOUR WORK: President Joe Biden signs the Dr. Lorna Breen Health Care Provider Protection Act on March 18, 2022.

Democrats need to show people that what they’re doing has helped.

By Jeffrey C. Billman

A

ccording to a new book by New York Times journalists Jonathan Martin and Alex Burns, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was privately terrified that the child tax credit Democrats included in last year’s American Rescue Plan would catch on and become impossible for Republicans to reverse— much like the Affordable Care Act. No need for alarm, however. Sen. Joe Manchin killed an extension of the tax credit when he killed the Build Back Better plan.

Parents probably shot that extra cash straight into their veins, mused Manchin, who drives a Maserati.

In any event, the tax credit wasn’t as popular as McConnell feared. Other Democratic initiatives such as lowering prescription drug costs and expanding Medicare polled better. And in an NPR survey, only 15% of respondents said the $300 per child per month was helping them “a lot.”

Part of the reason, it seems, is that the money was going out as fast as it came in—to food, school supplies, and household expenses. But a bigger political issue is that Americans tend not to recognize the role that the federal government plays in their lives. In 2011, the political scientist Suzanne Mettler coined the term “the submerged state” to explain this idea.

18 | MAY 5 - 11, 2022 | cltampa.com

In short, Mettler argued that most of what the government does is invisible, and the programs toward which Democrats gravitate— social programs that end up being complicated tax plans, health care programs managed by private corporations—leave many Americans who benefit from government ignorant of the benefits they received.

“The submerged state obscures the role of government and exaggerates that of the market.

It leaves citizens unaware of the source of programs and unable to form meaningful opinions about them,” Mettler wrote.

As David Leonhardt recently wrote for the New York Times, this idea goes a long way toward explaining President Joe Biden’s political woes.

Whereas progressive programs like the New Deal, Social Security, Medicare, and the GI Bill couldn’t be avoided, the products of the American Rescue Plan—a massive infusion of cash into a troubled economy—often went unnoticed.

“Examples in the American Rescue Plan include community center renovations, housing initiatives and health programs,” Leonhardt wrote. “Collectively, the projects may be valuable. Individually, many may be so modest as to go unnoticed. Americans also may not

realize that the projects are connected to a federal law.”

That creates a cycle: Democrats pass a policy; voters don’t notice; polls turn against Democrats; Democrats decide they did too much; Democrats get crushed at the polls.

That’s why there’s no appetite to take another pass at even a scaled-down version of Build Back Better. Democrats think that whatever they do will feed the narrative that they spend big but don’t deliver results. So instead, they’ll alienate swing voters who blame them for inflation and young voters who blame them for not living up to campaign promises on health care and climate change. The pundit class might offer knowing nods for fiscal responsibility, but, alas, that will win precisely zero votes.

And after Democrats get smashed this fall, moderates will blame progressives for scaring Real America with socialism, and progressives will blame moderates for being cowards. The times change, but the song remains the same.

I’m not going to take a side in this perpetual war. In a sense, though, I think everyone is misreading the playing field.

An example: On April 20, Florida’s agriculture commission, Nikki Fried, sued the Biden administration over a policy that prevents people with medical marijuana licenses from getting concealed carry permits. Fried is running for governor, and if she makes it through the primary, she hopes this kind of pro-guns,

ADAM SCHULTZ

pro-weed overlap will help her against neighborhood Brownshirts leader Gov. Ron DeSantis.

But what struck me wasn’t the lawsuit but what her former pollster told NBC News about it: “You can have the best affordable housing plan possible, but once you get to point No. 2, people’s eyes glaze over, and they stop paying attention. People care about this.”

This is the problem facing a Democratic Party that is big on technocratic policy-making and absolute crap at explaining how those policies help people. People care about guns and weed, in the same way they care about cancel culture and critical race theory and “grooming” and transgender athletes and naughty books in school libraries. These are things you instinctively understand (or think you understand). You feel that they affect you, even if they never will. And they’re simple—black and white, right and wrong.

But the things that affect all of us—housing, taxes, mass transit, criminal justice, environmental regulations—are by nature complex.

So the thing Democrats have to figure out—whether in the next six months or two years—isn’t whether they should be doing more or less, but whether they can show how what they’ve done has helped people. And throwing a barrage of data and peer-reviewed studies at the visceral simplicity of the culture war—a favorite tool of Democratic messaging—is a guaranteed trip to nowhere.

INFORMED DISSENT

cltampa.com | MAY 5 - 11, 2022 | 19

Shit Happened TUESDAY 26

of sea-cow deaths in 2021 in Florida waters.

Anything to get the heat off of him for Florida’s rising cost of living, “Don’t Say Gay,” and the whole Disney debacle, right?

TUESDAY 03

The Tampa and Miami areas continued in February to have among the nation’s largest increases in home prices when compared to a year earlier. The Tampa area saw a 32.6% yearover-year gain in home prices, barely trailing the Phoenix area for the largest jump in the country. Does this mean I get a 32.6% cost of living raise, too?

WEDNESDAY 27 Cherub, a rare white dolphin with a condition called hypopigmentation, first spotted a year ago, was seen again. Clearwater Marine Aquarium staff wrote that it was promising to see the 1-2 year old still out there, as it means they’re learning survival skills. Anyone else who spots Cherub can call CMA’s hotline at 727-441-1790 ext. 1. If you see the dolphin Cherub-ing one out, tell TMZ.

MONDAY 02 Gov. Ron DeSantis says he will approve more than $30 million in the coming year’s budget to help manatees, after a record number

20 | MAY 5 - 11, 2022 | cltampa.com

DeSantis also decries the Supreme Court leak Tuesday as a “judicial insurrection” intended to “kneecap” the High Court’s Justices. What a snowflake.

The average price of a gallon of regular unleaded gasoline in Florida was $4.18 on Monday, up 8 cents from a week earlier, according to the AAA auto club. Honestly, make it $8 a gallon, Joe Biden, and make DeSantis use the tax revenue to fix public transportation.

More shit, while the staff continues to work remote as we set up our new downtown Tampa office, via cltampa.com/news.

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City—although an exact location and slated opening date have not yet been determined. jamisonb.com

A new round of Tampa Bay food news.

ICYMI Kids eat free every Thursday at Nebraska & Bakery. The “polished casual craft cocktail Mini Mart It seems restaurants in Seminole bar with creative culinary dishes” will have an Heights are finally figuring out that kids, and ambiance set to mimic that of an old world tavern their beer-buying parents, are actually good for and wrap it into a modern design, according to business. Nebraska Mini-Mart, owned by the Noble Tavern’s Instagram. The restaurant will Proper House Group (Rooster & the Till, Dang be located in the newly built Dude, and Gallito), is now offering a free meal Tru by Hilton St. Petersburg to children 12 and under every Thursday— with at 17th Street and Central an adult purchase of equal or greater value. The Avenue in the Grand Central District and will offer is also only good for dine-in purchases. debut sometime in 2023. 1650 Central Ave., St. There are tons of kid-friendly bar-tivities at the Mini-Mart, just don’t let ‘em walk on the shufPetersburg. @nobletavern on Instagram Top Shelf Sports Lounge A new place to fleboard courts. 4815 N Nebraska Ave., Tampa. watch sporting events (or eat chicken wings and nebraskaminimart.com—Colin Wolf pretend like you’re watching) is slated to open in Arcadia’s Shelter Farm Sanctuary one of downtown Tampa’s most notable towers. becomes nationally recognized With its As ThatssoTampa reported earlier last week, recent accreditation from the Global Federation Top Shelf Sports Lounge will open on the bot- of Animal Sanctuaries, Shelter Farm Sanctuary tom floor of the revamped and newly-renamed is only the second Florida-based nonprofit to Truist Building. The 4,674-square-foot restau- be recognized for its high standards of anirant—which features an outdoor patio—will mal care, sustainability, ethical principles, debut sometime in 2023. The only Top Shelf education, outreach and safety. Shelter Farm Sports Lounge in Tampa Bay is located inside Sanctuary has been rescuing abandoned and of Wesley Chapel’s neglected animals since 2019. It offers monthly AdventHealth Center tours to provide visiIce. 401 E Jackson St., tors the opportunity to Tampa. topshelftampa. make connections with com animals they normally JB3 Dough Joe wouldn’t get to know on Self-described as a a personal level. 1837 “bread.coffee.love. spot,” SW CR-769, Arcadia.

Tampa’s beloved breadshelterfarmsanctuary. slingers just announced their latest venture— org The Peach Truck a grab-and-go located heads to Tampa this in the heart of hissummer This Nashvilletoric Ybor City. “ We based fruit truck heads will start the remodel immediately and take to Tampa Bay this summer to help you diseach day as it comes. We tinguish the difference do not have a tentative between freshly-picked opening date but we will peaches and their work as fast as we can MEAT ME AT THE CROSSROADS: St. to get that bread back to Pete’s steak-forward Roam has cocktails, too. grocery store counteryou,” a recent post from parts. The Peach Truck its Facebook reads. Known for everything from embarks on its Florida tour in June, serving the cinnamon buns to sourdough to fancy focac- greater Tampa area from June 14-0. You can precias—and even special gluten-free and vegan order your peaches on its website after selecting loaves— Jamison B Breadhouse Bakes’ wide a corresponding pick-up location—which range variety of offerings can tickle any dough-lov- from Tampa to Clearwater, St. Petersburg, Lutz, er’s palette. The new cafe will debut in Ybor and Brandon. thepeachtruck.com

By Kyla Fields and Sofía García Vargas

I

f you’re wandering around St. Petersburg, don’t forget to stop in Roam. A new restaurant is open in the Lealman neighborhood, and Roam Restaurant & Bar describes itself as a “fusion of classic French cooking and NY Steakhouse with a Southern twist.” Roam soft opened last week, and is now open Thursday-Sunday as it transitions into a more robust dining schedule, dishing out its thick steaks and signature cocktails. See more openings and foodie news below.

3405 34th St. N St.Petersburg. @roamresturantstpete on Instagram

Now open Tacos My Love St. Pete welcomed its newest taco spot, Tacos My Love, for a soft-opening this week. The new restaurant—owned by Pedro Rosales— will replace the Mid Peninsula Seafood Market and offer authentic Mexican food with a fine dining twist. Menu items include traditional Mexican dishes like tacos and fajitas, as well as plant-based options like vegan nachos and jackfruit tacos. Also on the menu are signature drinks like a smoky basil mezcal cocktail, jalapeño pineapple margarita and baby mango with vodka tamarindo.The restaurant is currently taking reservations for this week and for its Cinco de Mayo grand opening with live mariachis and DJ. 400 49th St. S , St. Petersburg. tacosmylove.com Popstroke It’s tee time at Popstroke’s new location, which opened this week in Sarasota.

The golf and dining concept, founded by golf legend Tiger Woods with partner Greg Bartoli, features two decked-out 18-hole mini-golf courses, outdoor dining, table and lawn games as well as three bars—one of them on the rooftop of the building. Popstroke serves a variety of dishes, including tuna tartare, a black bean veggie burger and reuben egg rolls as well as draft beer, wine and hand-crafted cocktails.

195 University Town Center Dr., Sarasota. popstroke.com Coming soon Noble Tavern Two local favorites will join forces to bring a new concept to St. Pete. Noble Tavern will combine concepts and atmosphere from Noble Crust and Fat Beet Farm Kitchen

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“I wanted people to experience the book without me narrating the images and keep it as objective as possible.”

MOVIES

THEATER

ART

No words

CULTURE

George Goldberg on why he’s releasing a minimalist book of protest photos.

By Ray Roa

I

Community Redevelopment Area Facade Improvement Program.

The program provides property owners with financial assistance to elevate their business fronts within participating Community Redevelopment Areas: Drew Park and West Tampa, Ybor City and East Tampa.

Crab Devil was awarded $50,000 in reimbursements, which means the money must be spent in its entirety before it can be reimbursed. Funding can be used for external restoration, renovation, rehabilitation and landscaping of retail or commercial properties approved by the area’s Community Redevelopment Department.

and exhibitions, Crab Devil and its Old Florida oddity-filled Peninsularium has aimed to bring expectation-defying immersive creations to Ybor Heights. “We’re building a place that will add value to Ybor Heights,” Crab Reckoner Janine Awai said. “The community’s investment in us is truly appreciated.”

The collective is coming off the showcase of two new exhibits at this year’s Gasparilla Music Festival, immersive installations containing “Photonic Vibrations” by creator and St. Petersburg artist Michael Horn and “Bait Ball” by Crab Devil CEO Devon Brady.

You can keep up with Crab Devil via crabdevil. com.—Chloe Greenberg

A&E NEWS

GEORGE GOLDBERG

n the summer of 2020, Tampa photographer Diasgranados’ outside perspective allowed George Goldberg attended eight local Black Goldberg to remove himself from the emotions Lives Matter protests. Police shot him and of the protests and land on the best photos. “He other protesters with pepper spray and bean curated and sequenced the work within the book bag bullets as he watched others get beaten. which is something I don’t think I could have Goldberg, 31, even saw his sister and brother- done well by myself,” Goldberg said.

And in getting the book together, Goldberg in-law get arrested while he and his girlfriend eluded police. was able to tap into something else that he found Now he’s releasing 40 copies of his first book, during the protests of 2020—a community. featuring 20 images he captured during that “The unity we felt during these protests was tumultuous Tampa summer. Shot with a 35mm camera on black and The Castle in Ybor City announces ‘Star white film, the work is simply titled Wars’ night with lightsaber floggings “Protest Book” and opens without the and Wookiee howling contest help of a foreword or intro.

Tampa Bay’s favorite goth dance club “I wanted people to experience the will bring back its beloved Star Wars book without me narrating the images Night to celebrate May the 4th and the and keep it as objective as possible, upcoming release of “Obi-Wan Kenobi” and I feel like since this was more of on Disney+.” But “Star Wars Night: This a documentation of what happened, is the Way”—set for Saturday, May 7 at the images didn’t need any writing,” The Castle in Ybor City—is definitely Goldberg, who’s been making photos not for younglings. The club wants you for 11 years, told Creative Loafing to “goth out with your Hotch out” for Tampa Bay. the costume contest hosted by Supreme Instead, there’s just a short blurb Leader BillY of Hell On Earth. Come at the end of the book which says, dressed as your favorite Star Wars or “Images I made during the Black sci-fi character; losers are supposedly Lives Matter protest here in Tampa, sent to the spice mines of Kessel.

FL.” Then there’s the Wookiee Howling Goldberg made the book to archive Contest, so don’t forget to practice your a moment in time that now seems like best Chewbacca impression. There will also forever ago. be cosplayers Jasmine & Rose performing “It’s only been about two years. aerial stunts to showcase the light and Things can be easily swept underdark sides of the Force. And there will be neath the rug in today’s fast-paced Jedi vs. Sith lightsaber flogging to deterway of living. I wanted to freeze this mine who has the high ground. moment in time within this book. BLACK AND WHITE: It wasn’t easy for Tampa photographer George Goldberg to relive the photos from 2020.

There will be a cantina upstairs and Something tangible that someone an Endor forest on the patio, and Aunt can look through and live with,” Goldberg said. all the encouragement I needed to keep attendCrab Devil plans to put its awarded grant Beru and Uncle Owen will be in the Red Room And reliving the protests—including a par- ing,” he said. To give back, a portion of proceeds money toward new outdoor awnings, as well as Bar serving Thala-Siren Green Milk, Blue Milk ticular testy one near 22nd Street and Martin from “Protest Book” will go towards organiza- landscaping and hardscaping across the campus. and shots inspired by Baby Yoda and BB-8.

Luther King Jr. Boulevard in East Tampa—was tions and causes fighting back against police The arts collective is hoping the improvements Star Trek fans are also welcome to attend and not easy for Goldberg, who said that he’s very brutality here in the Tampa Bay area. Order and additions will not only contribute to the look show off their gold, blues and reds and imbibe emotionally attached to all the images he made the book via george-goldberg.myshopify.com. and experience of the Ybor Heights neighbor- on Vulcan Death Grip shots. that summer. hood, but also provide shelter from the warmer "Star Wars Night: This Is the Way" has a To help him curate the 20 photos, Goldberg Ybor Heights art compound Crab Devil awarded summer months ahead. $20 cover and is restricted to adults 18 and teamed up with Maryland artist and photog- $50K grant for facade improvements Since its inception, Crab Devil has sought up. The doors open at 10:30 p.m. Saturday, rapher Daniel Diasgranados, who’s known The Florida-centric multimedia arts collective to immerse its local community in art, creat- May 7. For more information, see @thecastleyGoldberg for five years but only met him in Crab Devil is about to welcome some prop- ing a space where creativity is fostered and bor on Facebook or castleybor.com.—Chelsea real life for the first time in March 2021. Having erty improvements with the help of Tampa’s inspiration spread. Through several projects Zukowski

cltampa.com | MAY 5 - 11, 2022 | 27

Guillaume Courtois, called “Il Borgognone”, Agar and Ismael, c. 1670, Oil on canvas, Courtesy of Collection Fagiolo, Palazzo Chigi, Ariccia.

28 | MAY 5 - 11, 2022 | cltampa.com

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“Nothing beats being in a room, feeding off the energy of other people.”

REVIEWS

PROFILES

MUSIC WEEK

Whig out

December of 2021. So, it was written and So you did a lot; it’s not like you stayed idle. I recorded in about a year and, you know, with mean you were working and you were creating. me and Patrick [Keeler] the drummer, living Yeah, I mean constantly. By the way, there’s in California, and then we went out to Joshua 10 songs on this record, but I wrote like 24 Tree where our new guisongs and pared it down. tar player [Christopher There was a moment where Well, I had just put a record out the last week of Thorn] has studio and I was like, "Hey, should we The Afghan Whigs February of 2020. I put out my first solo record the three of us worked on do a double album?" And [Random Desire]. I was getting ready to fly to it there. And then sent it then I’m like, "Don’t do a Next Thursday, May 12. 7 p.m. $29 Orpheum, 1915 E 7th Ave., Ybor City Ireland to start a tour when it was like, "It’s the to the other guys in New double album." I can take theorpheum.com plague! Everybody stay in your house!" and I Orleans, Cincinnati and most double albums and was like, “Oh my God,” you know. So in regard New Jersey. turn them into an amazing single album. I’ve That’s a long answer to your question. But pared down the best of them. The one doubleto that, it sort of really knocked the wind out of my sails because I had worked really hard on as far as reflection and all that stuff goes, album that I took the least among of songs off a record that I loved and was excited to go out I’m a songwriter. I am a constant reflector, I could not make it a single record was [The and play it and then obviously, the world shut you know, I’m reflecting right now (laughs). I Clash’s] London Calling. down. So, nobody knew, but was saying "It’ll live alone and have for a majority of my life.

You said something interesting, when you were talking about the pandemic and I think this was true for a lot of people. I think the most stressful part of that time was the fact that nobody really knew when it was going to end or when things were going to ‘‘get back to normal." You used that time without knowing what the end date was going to be to create.

I’ve been writing songs since I was a teenager, it’s like the pursuit I’ve easily done the longest in my life. But this obviously had a different slant to it. Because whenever I would go to Joshua Tree, especially in the early days, we would have to—and this was before they had home tests—we would have to go to the doctor and get a test and, his whole family would have to get tested and I would get tested, and then we would create the bubble and then his wife, Heather would, you know, mask up and put on an astronaut suit and go out into the world and get us groceries and stuff. You know what I mean? Like you really had to be vigilant about, not just your health, but the health of the people around you. Just being extremely careful. And then, when Patrick would come in, his wife would DULLI NOTED: After four years away, Greg Dulli (center) is ready to see fans again. have to get tested and then he would get tested and then we’d all get tested. And this was all be done by June," or "It’ll be done by July," so I So when people were like, you know, calling just on this end of it. rebooked the shows for the fall of that year and me when all that was going on saying, "How And then doing it virtually with the other then it became pretty clear that it was not going are you?" I’m like, "How are you?" You know, guys in three different states was—I had done to go away. So I filmed a couple shows where I I’m fine; this is normal life for me. I used the some of that before but not at the scale of this played alone and in a friend of mine’s club, and time to make this record and I’ll look back on record. The only time I would see the other guys, this record as it being that; you know, just was if we FaceTimed or something and, and we I did pay-per-view for those.

As soon as I was done with that, that kind of, driving to Joshua Tree, every other would really only FaceTime if it was like, "Hey, was August 2020, I called my manager and month and that was kind of my rhythm. I’d I need to show you how to play this," or "Can my booking agent and I said, "Cancel those go out there for two weeks. I’d come back for you play it like this?" or, "What kind of pedal fall shows. They’re not going to happen. I’m four and go back again for two weeks. That are you using?" or that kind of thing. But luckgoing to make a new Whigs, record." We went was my cycle. So that was what I did during ily, the three other guys are all like Pro Tools from September of 2020 and finished it in the pandemic. continued on page 32

By Gabe Echazabal

M

usical acts that defy categorization and are difficult to describe are rare, fascinating creatures. While so many artists’ styles and sounds can often be compared or harkened back to a musical ancestor or predecessor, a few make it extremely difficult to determine their musical lineage. Take, for example, The Afghan Whigs.

The band formed in the mid-'80s in Cincinnati, Ohio and has been releasing superb (albeit hard to categorize) records since the latter part of the decade of their arrival. Led by charismatic, passionate singer and songwriter Greg Dulli, it was almost inevitable that the group’s sound would evolve into a mélange of genres, textures, and styles. Raised and reared simultaneously on heavy doses of R&B, punk-rock, jazz, and rock and roll, Dulli’s appreciation for music as a whole is clearly evident both through his recorded works and in conversation. After a long hiatus (the band’s last full-length album, In Spades, was released in 2017), Dulli and The Afghan Whigs are on the verge of kicking off a new tour in advance of a brand new studio album, How Do You Burn?, set for release in September. In preparation of the upcoming live dates, and from his homebase in California, Dulli took some time out of his schedule to speak to Creative Loafing Tampa Bay about the creation of the new album. Read an abridged Q&A below and see the full chat via cltampa.com/music.

I’m so excited The Afghan Whigs are coming back to town. That’s a big deal for a lot of us here locally.

Yeah. I’m excited. With the day off in getting there, I’ll be like four days in Florida. [The tour kicks off in Florida and includes three shows within the state] That would be the longest I’ve spent in Florida since I was a child.

I take that back; I actually spent 10 days in Key West 30 years ago. Well, I mean, we just don’t really play for Florida very often so it’s cool to do three gigs there, including our first ever gig in Fort Lauderdale.

What did the pandemic do to you? Did it give you more time to write or to reflect? What was that like for you personally?

INTERVIEW

COURTESY

Greg Dulli details The Afghan Whigs’ first new album in five years.

cltampa.com | MAY 5 - 11, 2022 | 31

CreativeLoafing.pdf 2 4/12/2022 11:43:07 AM

M

M

BURNING DESIRE: Cover art for How Do You Burn?, The Afghan Whigs’ first studio LP in five years.

Y

Y

continued from page 31 whizs and it was, it was really pretty seamless.

When you listen to “I’ll Make You See God,” that is four guys playing in three states.

I like the way that you worked around those things. You obviously still adhered to safety, but you made them work out. You really made the best out of it.

Well, I mean, once the goal was established, it’s by any means necessary. You know what I mean? You just get it done.

You want this thing, so you make it happen. I mean honestly, I hope it’s the last record I make like that just because that would mean the world was safe to travel around again and nothing beats being in a room, feeding off the energy of other people. But that said, this record has a very special place for me because of how we did it, how well we did it and and how much we love how it turned out.

Well, I mean I’m an omnivorous music person.

So I listen to a lot of stuff and always have. I grew up listening to Motown, pop music, Rolling Stones, whatever the older neighbor kids were listening to, Zeppelin, AC/DC. But my grandmother and my aunts and uncles, they were Kentucky and West Virginia so I was listening to a lot of country music.

And then when I got to college, I got turned on to jazz, I got turned on to punk-rock and all that. And not to mention my high school metal years and my absolute love of Lynyrd Skynyrd, one of my favorite bands of all time. So I was the kid who listened to Lynyrd Skynyrd, Earth, Wind & Fire, Al Green, and George Jones, so I like a lot. I just like a lot of different stuff. So that’s the best way I can describe it. My songwriting is like a bird, making a nest; there’s some newspaper, there’s some hay, there’s a fucking fast food bag. Whatever I can find to get myself a styling vehicle or home, or a place to rest.

That’s how it’s going to happen. So I feel like, first of all, thank you for saying so, but I can easily say we sound like The Afghan Whigs and nobody sounds like us. So that’s how I answer that question.

INTERVIEW

“This record has a very special place for me.”

I’ve heard and seen your band referred to or associated with grunge and with all these other sub-genres, but I think you guys are kind of in your own sort of category. What’s your take on that?

32 | MAY 5 - 11, 2022 | cltampa.com

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Cool jams

Reboot at St. Pete’s Floridian Social Club brings welcome raucous back to Central Avenue.

By Ray Roa afterwards, and the green rooms (famously grimey at State) feel like they were beamed in from another planet.

There’s a full bar upstairs and the sound system (although not bad at State) is nearly perfectly-tuned for the kind of Strat and Rhodes-driven dustbowl rock and roll bands like Houndmouth make their bread and butter on (the slow blues on “Palmyra,” roadhouse rock of “My Cousin Greg” and downtuned comedown of “For No One” all sounded pristine).

the local aerialists and hired them on their off night.)

The audience indulged in the solos on “Make It To Midnight,” clapped for intraband booty bumps on “Black Gold,” bathed in the organ swell on “Goodbye” and sang along at the top of its lungs for both “Honey Slider” and Good For You’s title track when Myers turned the microphone away from him and into the crowd. By the time “Darlin’” arrived to close out the set, there was even a little musk and sweat in the air,

LIVE REVIEW

JON WILLIAM

A

fter a run through “Cool Jam” last Tuesday night, Houndmouth drummer Shane Cody looked into the chatty crowd and said, “It’s good to be back in Florida, it’s been a few years.” In most cities, that’d be par for the course as far as stage banter goes, but for Houndmouth, the sentiment rang true. The Indiana-born band hadn’t been in town since 2016 when it played Gasparilla Music Festival, amicably split with founding member Katie Toupin and returned (with horns in tow) to thrill Clearwater Jazz Holiday eight months later. Since then, Houndmouth put out 2018’s Golden Age, got dropped from its label and holded up in a 19th-century shotgun house in New Albany to record Good For You, its strongest record to date.

And in spite of new variants of coronavirus, the national touring circuit is roaring back, with calendars fortifying themselves every month, meaning a seemingly relentless number of concerts coming to Tampa Bay. Cody’s sentiment also probably rang true for a large swath of the capacity crowd packed into 687 Central Ave. In the same year Houndmouth released Golden Age, downtown St. Petersburg’s State Theatre closed after a series of violations reduced capacity and eventually forced owners to put the historic landmark and music venue up for sale.

After more than two decades of concerts, the space—constructed in the 1920s as a bank before eventually becoming a theater in the ‘50s—very well could’ve become a food hall.

But live music on Central Avenue’s 600 Block avoided a death knell when real estate broker Kevin Chadwick picked the property up for $2.1 million in the summer of 2018—nine months before COVID-19 put live music in a chokehold.

Nearly a year later, State Theatre got its new name; 10 months after that, doors at Floridian Social Club finally opened.

Chadwick spared no expense renovating the facility—and picked up a restoration and renovation award from Preserve The ‘Burg this week—and locals picked up the concert calendar there until this week when Houndmouth became the second national touring act to play the room in nearly half-a-decade (Myles Kennedy played there last fall).

Inside Floridian Social Club, there are very few reminders of the old State Theatre.

There is a Tecate and tequila shot special (touché, although most folks might’ve washed the booze down with a PBR), but there’s a lot more gold leaf, all placed tastefully, in the building now. You can actually take a shit in the restroom without having to bleach your ass cheeks

COMIN’ AROUND AGAIN: Bartenders work the crowd at Floridian Social Club.

And by all accounts, everyone in the room was primed and ready for the band, too.

Frontman and guitarist Matt Myers was all smiles throughout the 15-song set which included appearances from in-house aerialists on Good For You bop “McKenzie” and encore-closer “Sedona.”

(Shawn Kyle, Floridian’s brand new Director Of Entertainment & Talent Buyer, told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay the band learned about

a reminder of the room Floridian used to be.

Heat was a hallmark of almost any State Theatre show; it wasn’t uncommon to leave that room after a punk show from Piebald or Against Me! just covered in someone else’s sweat. In the early days of Floridian Social Club’s get-to-knowyou period with St. Petersburg, folks not ready for the change lamented the fact that the city might not ever get to see a metal act there

“Floridian ain’t your older brother’s State Theatre.”

anymore. They weren’t wrong; those shows are at Jannus Live and Ybor City’s soon-to-relocate Orpheum now. Anyone hoping to catch Death Grips or Insane Clown Posse at 687 Central Ave. might as well take a hike, too.

But look around at the 600 Block, people. The folks who opened Star Booty, ran Daddy Kool, and broke their backs to keep venues like Fubar and Local 662 open have all moved to other— affordable, for now—parts of town. Others have gotten out of town completely. Floridian ain’t your older brother’s State Theatre, but it still might host a set from the resurgent Dinosaur Jr.s, up-and-coming Bon Ivers of the world, or play host to a festival that brings acts like Son Volt, William Tyler, Ought, Budos Band and Waxahatchee to the stage in one weekend. Shit, I could see a vice presidential candidate playing harmonica with Bon Jovi, too.

Right before the first chorus on “Darlin’” Myers sings, “You ain’t gonna make it if you don’t let someone in,” and that’s important to remember when it comes to live music in St. Petersburg. There’s no reliable 800-900 capacity room like Floridian in Pinellas County (Clearwater’s Capitol Theatre does great for seated shows like Iron & Wine, Boz Scaggs, Punch Brothers, et. al), and Central is lucky to a now have a room that seems ready to bring national talent back to the block.

And if you miss the old St. Pete a bunch (we do, too), Emerald Bar is still a three-minute walk away from Floridian Social Club. Hell, even Houndmouth found its way to the storied St. Pete dive bar after the show to drink cheap beer (and maybe do a shot of tequila, too).

Anyone still on the fence about Floridian needed to listen a little harder to Myers in between his rowdy guitar solos on Golden Age rager “Comin’ Around Again.”

“You don’t know where I’m going, and you don’t know where I’ve been,” the lyric goes.

That’s interesting to think about considering the band is from Indiana—one of the more affordable places in America right now—and playing in St. Pete where, well, we’re begging for rent control.

“But when you hear the angels singing,” Myers sings. “I’ll be coming ‘round again.”

It feels pretty damn good to hear 687 Central Ave. getting loud on a Tuesday night, and you can bet that even with all the alarming change happening locally, Floridian Social Club will have even more national acts coming around to St. Pete’s miracle mile again very soon.

See all of Jon Wiliam’s photos via cltampa. com/slideshows.

cltampa.com | MAY 5 - 11, 2022 | 35

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CL Recommends

THU 05

C Rock the Park Tampa: Have Gun, Will Travel w/BadCameo/Scxtt Aye On Sunday, Have Gun, Will Travel will be outside Amalie Arena to welcome the Tampa Bay Lightning back home for Game 3 of the team’s first round Stanley Cup Playoff series, but a few days before that—just one mile away—the Bay area Americana mainstay headlines downtown Tampa’s long-running monthly free concert series. Expect to hear Have Gun’s new single (“Buyer’s Remorse”) in the headlining slot, but bring your boogie shoes because Tampa funk outfit BadCameo is also on the bill and arriving on a “Funk Train” in advance of the band’s forthcoming sophomore album, Friday Night Time Warp, due in August. Rounding out a super solid bill is Tampa rapper Scxtt Aye. (Curtis Hixon Waterfront Park, Tampa) XOXO Carnival w/Deadmau5/Lil Jon/DJ Snake/Shaggy/Deux Twins/Wax Motif/ DJ Ekin/DJ Casper/Doozie/more The XOXO Carnival kicked off Wednesday, but things really get going Thursday with DJ sets from Lil Jon and Deux Twins. The EDM party continues throughout the weekend with sets from DJ Snake and Wax Motif (Friday) plus a Saturday featuring Shaggy and Deadmau5.

Local heavyweight The Black Honkeys round things out on Sunday, and more information is available via cltampa.com/music.

(Armature Works, Tampa)

handful of venues in The ‘Burg including The Bends, Deuces Live and LostHQ. Florida metal legend Torche is set to headline day one, and California hardcore favorite Trash Talk topps the bill on day two, but the entirety of the genre-bending lineup gives St. Petersburg a heavy dose of the gritty, hard-rocking local and national music it’s been missing on a large scale for a couple of years now.—Kyla Fields C Riverfest: The Ruckus Music Festival w/Nathan Mitchell/Whit The Poet/more The Straz Center’s no-cover Riverwalk shows have become an essential element of the weekend in downtown Tampa, but organizers leveled up for “The Ruckus Music Festival” which brings the smooth jazz sounds of Grammy-nominated, three-time NAACP Image Award nominee Nathan Mitchell to the stage as part of a night-long celebration of jazz, hip-hop, R&B and spoken word.

(Riverwalk Stage at David A. Straz Center for the Performing Arts, Tampa) Tim McGraw w/Russell Dickerson With COVID numbers on a down spiral, country star Tim McGraw is finally ready to promote an album that the pandemic kept at home. The 55-year-old country singer released Here On Earth in August 2020, and despite Faith Hill appearing on the effort, McGraw has nudged Russell Dickerson to support him on his longawaited first pandemic tour. Don’t forget your vaxx card or negative COVID test, either. It ain’t Tim’s policy, but he’s in favor of it. (MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa)

SAT 07

Cory Smith Smith hasn’t put out a new album in a few years, but during his time in lockdown, the singer-songwriter kept busy with a few new singles. He’s had some trouble with his eyes in recent years, having undergone a number of surgeries, including one that required him to use a prosthetic.

Smith even stopped touring for a little bit, but after a successful cataract surgery, “Goin’ Blind” no longer applies to him, and he’s all set to take the stage at Ybor City’s finest listening room. (The Attic, Ybor City) C The Closing Date Concert: Chael Blinya w/Notsew/Curtis Davis/ Bauxmonk/Charle(s) Hines/more As part of a series of shows celebrating a new LP (The Sir Roundings) Ghanaian-American rap and spoken-word artist Chael Blinya hosts a concert where he’ll perform a little from the effort but more or less welcome five other artists to the Bricks’ outdoor stage of a night of hip-hop and poetry. The show, happening in conjunction with culture-curative collective Growhouse, is “$Free.99,” but donations are encouraged. (The Bricks, Ybor City) C Emo Night Tampa: Bad Bad Things w/The Drain Outs Thanks to all the good people at the barstools and tables, downtown Tampa dive The Hub is a great place to be sad. The sadder the better this weekend, too, when Emo Night Tampa (ENT) takes

over for a no-cover, 21 & up show featuring criminally-under-the-radar power-pop band Bad Bad Things and raucous rock and roll trio The Drain Outs hitting the checkered floor. ENT founders Theo Severson and Mes McDonald will pick the tunes in between sets, and if you’re still not going out (we don’t blame you), you can get your fix when the duo takes to local airwaves every Friday from midnight-2 a.m. on community radio station WMNF 88.5-FM. (The Hub, Tampa) Hyfa Tha Prospect (Only Human release party) w/DJ Laz/D.C./Big Business Newburgh-turned-Tampa rapper Hyfa Tha Prospect is more than a local emcee. Sure, he has two bachelor’s degree in fine arts, but his music is involved with the “Don’t Get Tricked” podcast, which spreads awareness about mental illness and trauma. It looks like the pod is about to have more music of Hyfa’s to play, because he’s unveiling a new project of sorts this weekend in Ybor City.

What better way to spend your birthday than showing off your latest masterpiece? DJ Laz will also be present, as well as hosts D.C. and Big Business. (Crowbar, Ybor City) Idle Moves w/Teeny Black Wolfe/ Antonio Cheech Nobregas Don’t bring you kids, but Hapton Terrace’s beloved pizza, wing and beer spot has a rock and roll show this weekend. Idle Moves headlines and is joined by cosmic Americana outfit Teeny Black Wolfe plus Antonio Cheech

continued on page 38

Torche

The Offspring w/Radkey Times are bad, but The Offspring is letting it roll and bringing Missouri punk-rock band of brothers Radkey along for the ride. The Offspring—led by hot sauce maker, songwriter and certified doctor in molecular biology Dexter Holland—is supporting its 2021 album Let the Bad Times Roll, and is without drummer Pete Parada whose two-year stint with the Garden Grove punk outfit ended last summer when he refused to get the COVID-19 vaccine. (Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa) C Lost In St. Pete: Torche w/Trash Talk/ Haute Tension/Gat$/NDO/The Jackettes/ Eyelid Cinema/J.T. Brown/Witch Hiatus/ Razor and the Boogieman/RogerThomas/ Bangarang/Kerry Courtney/more Perhaps you’ve seen Lost Creations’ immersive art installations at Okeechobee Festival or Hulaween, or maybe at the now-shuttered St. Pete DIY haven Paper Crane. But after a three-year hiatus, it’s finally time for another highly-curated local festival, as the art collective presents a stacked three-day lineup of more than two dozen acts taking over a

NICOLE KIBERT/ELAWGRRL.COM

FRI 06

cltampa.com | MAY 5 - 11, 2022 | 37

continued from page 37

The Menzingers

EPITAPH

Nobregas, founding member of alt-rock band Fast Talkers, who plays solo to kick things off. Seriously, don’t bring your kids.

(Hampton Station, Tampa) C Maxwell w/Anthony Hamilton/Joe Is it getting hot in here or is Maxwell in town?

Well, both, actually. The 48-year-old neosoul crooner’s tour is in celebration of the Grammy award-winner’s 2018 album night, the final installment of a trilogy that started in 2009 with BLACKsummer’snight. For this one, Maxwell brings two R&B giants—Anthony Hamilton and Joe—to town for a show that is sure to set you up for a long night in the suite.

(Amalie Arena, Tampa)—Stephanie Powers

SUN 08

C Born Ruffians w/Sham Family That smell? “Chrysanthemums” from Canada, care of Born Ruffians, one of the most consistent indie-rock bands of the last decade.

Frontman Luke LaLonde is back in Tampa Bay this weekend (a region his band has rarely skipped despite being born 1,300 miles away in Toronto) a year after releasing a trio of albums (Juice, Squeeze and Pulp) rolled out in between 2020-2021 and culled from sessions related to the band’s 2018 outing Uncle, Duke & The Chief. “Chrysanthemums”—a bassline-driven mellow meditation with an equally chill, machine-produced psychedelic music video, represents the first bit of new music from the Ruffians since the triptych— and Ontarian post-punk band Sham Family will open the show. (Crowbar, Ybor City)

38 | MAY 5 - 11, 2022 | cltampa.com

C The Florida Orchestra: Pops In the Park Your mom deserves the world, but if inflation has your wallet fucked up, then just make the effort to get her to downtown Tampa on Mother’s Day for a free concert by the Florida Orchestra. The program kicks off at 8 p.m. with the “Star-Spangled Banner” and includes a dozen more selections that range from blockbuster hits (“Lord of the Rings,” “The Muppet Movie,” “Star Wars” and “Raiders of the Lost Ark”), plus some Sondheim and works from classical mainstays like Copland and Tchaikovsky. The performance is also a canned food drive for Tampa Bay Harvest, so do your part. (Julian B. Lane Riverfront Park, Tampa) The Fritz The Fritz—a five-piece straight outta Asheville—has the infused psychedelic funk that your friends at Skipper’s Smokehouse know and love dearly. The band says that it’s currently working on its third album, but before that drops, a brief east coast tour is going down, including this Mother’s Day show under the Skipperdome.

The Fritz will also be in Boca Raton on Saturday, and Jacksonville on Friday. But the question is, where else can you eat alligator ribs and enjoy live music at the same time?

(Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa) C The Menzingers w/Oso Oso/Sincere The Menzingers have come a really long way since starting as a punk band from Scranton.

Its latest, From Exile, is a follow-up to 2019’s heartland rock-based Hello Exile. We’re not saying that the band predicted the COVID-19 lockdowns, but it’s a fun conspiracy theory to throw around. Whether you believe that or not, the band has been back on the road ever

since safety measures were loosened up last May, and for the first time since November 2019, Tom May and friends are back in Ybor City. Also, please don’t try and prove a point that The Menzingers were once an emo group; even isthisbandemo.com specifically dubs it as punk. (Orpheum, Ybor City) The Stylistics It’s hard to be at a Stylistics show, and not miss Russell Thompkins Jr.’s sweet lead vocals (he left the ‘60s-’70s soul group 22 years ago). But if you close your eyes and do mental gymnastics, you’ll swear that the current lineup is just the original in disguise. Founding members Airrion Love and Herb Murrell are still keeping the soul group’s legacy alive. Don’t expect to hear any new music from the Stylistics circa 2022, as there hasn’t been any from the guys in over a decade. (Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa)

MON 09

Bad Luck w/Dollar Signs/Taking Meds Last summer, Brooklyn alternative group Bad Luck released Summer Of Pain, an album with themes similar to Pet Sounds. According to the band, the record is “a bridge between childhood ambition and adult realism by exploring the underlying tension of romanticism in our modern world.” You know, heartache, setbacks, but also some of the good moments. Bad Luck played Crowbar literally weeks before the world went into lockdown mode, and one pandemic later, fans will reconvene in the same location with a lot less fear and a lot more new music to celebrate.

Opening for Bad Luck are punk groups Dollar Signs and Taking Meds. (Crowbar, Ybor City)

WED 11

The Dead South w/The Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band Break out your bolero hat and pretend you’re about to be in a shootout. Quaker-lookin’, suspender-wearing roots band The Dead South is blowing in from the Great White North (Saskatchewan) with its well-deserved Juno Awards in tow (two for Traditional Album of the Year).

The group supports two newish EPS—Easy Listening for Jerks, Parts 1 and 2—and won’t be afraid to venture away from the traditional sounds it’s known for at this show where Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band warms St. Pete up with its special brand of washboard rhythm revival. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg)

THU 12

C Ace Enders w/Rare Candy/Matt Rosa If you’re the kind of fuckface that likes to scream out song requests at the acoustic gig, then you might want to make plans to be at Hooch and Hive next Thursday. The West River hotspot is where one of emo’s crown princes, Ace Enders, brings the music of his projects— mainly The Early November and I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody’s Business—for a requestdriven performance. Chicago folk-pop band Rare Candy opens the show along with songwriter Matt Rosa who’s on the road behind a debut album, Times Have Changed, and So Have I. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa)

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Something delicious

R&B legend Keith Sweat’s Birthday Celebration is coming to Tampa.

is in store for Hyde Park.

Labeled as one of the godfathers of R&B, the Harlem native has had an extensive career in the genre, achieving milestones like six platinum albums, producing 15 Top 10 hits with songs like “Twisted”, “Nobody”, “Come and Get with Me” and “Make You Sweat,” in addition to being awarded the Soul Train Lifetime Achievement Award for his contributions to the industry. Support artists on the birthday tour bill have seen just about the same amount of success.

Monica is a Grammy Award-winning artist and was the youngest female ever to have back-to-back no. 1 hits on Billboard’s R&B chart, care of her 1995 debut album Miss Thang. Tevin Campbell has sold over five million records in the United States and earned five Grammy nominations. Following her debut as a solo artist from The Braxtons, Tamar Braxton won four Grammy awards,

PRESS HANDOUT

Sweat’s new tour will stop at Amalie Arena on July 23—a day after his 60th birthday— along with a remarkable lineup of artists, including Monica, Tevin Campbell, Tamar Braxton, 112, Ginuwine and Silk. Tickets go on sale Friday, May 6 at noon and cost $65-$145. The only other Florida stop is in Orlando.

Tuesday, June 14th, 2022 The Orlo in Historic Hyde Park TICKETS ON SALE NOW! This is an exclusive cocktail-style sampling event with a limited number of tickets available and sells out every year. three Soul Train Music Awards and a BET award. Her most recent album, Bluebird of Happiness, climbed up the U.S. Top Album Sales chart to no. 5 and clinched the no. 1 spot on the Billboard Independent Chart.

Bad Boy hitmaker 112 continues its legacy from the 1990s and early 2000s with hits such as “Only You”, “Anywhere” and “Peaches & Cream,” and Ginuwine’s 30 year career has brought him national recognition, winning him the Urban Music Icon Award in 2021 for his contributions to R&B. See Josh Bradley’s weekly new concert roundup below.—Sofía García Vargas

Mork Gryning w/Promethean Horde/ Flnit Hic Deo Thursday, May 5. 7 p.m. $15.

Brass Mug, Tampa

Encanto: The Sing-Along Film Concert Saturday, Aug. 6. 7:30 p.m. $29.50 & up.

MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

Kill The Noise Friday, May 13. 10 p.m. $15.

The Ritz, Ybor City

Chris Brown and Lil Baby Saturday, Aug. 13. 7 p.m. $29.50 & up. MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa

Origin w/Misery Index/Wake/Wolf King Wednesday, May 18. 7 p.m. $20. Brass Mug, Tampa

Michael Bublé Saturday, Aug. 13. 8 p.m. $65 and up. Amalie Arena, Tampa

Ben Nicky Saturday, May 21. 10 p.m. $15.

The Ritz, Ybor City

Michael Franti and Spearhead Thursday, Sept. 1. 7 p.m. $35. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

97X Craft Experience feat. Giovannie & The Hired Guns Sunday, May 22. 2 p.m. $45. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg

Parker McCollum Saturday, Sept. 3. 7 p.m.

Prices TBA. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

Ol’ Dirty Sundays 11 Year Anniversary feat. DJ Z-Trip Sunday, May 29. 9 p.m. $20. Crowbar, Ybor City Starset w/Red/Fame on Fire Friday, June 17. 6 p.m. $24.50. Orpheum, Ybor City NoCap Thursday, June 23. 10 p.m. $35-$60.

The Ritz, Ybor City FLZ Summer Fling feat. Charlie Puth/ Em Beihold/Leah Kate Friday, July 1. 7:30 p.m. $37.50-$55. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg WHORES. w/Meatwound/Horsewhip Saturday, July 16. 8 p.m. $20. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa

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8 p.m. $35.75 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa Hippo Campus w/CHAI Friday, Oct. 28. 7 p.m. $29.50. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Cancellations/reschedules Barns Courtney at Crowbar (May 6) Rescheduled to Friday, Sept. 23 Don Broco at Orpheum (May 9) Canceled

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Hang tight

and occasionally hanging out isn’t enough. Do you have any advice on how to be a more supportive friend?—A Little Help From A Friend

By Caroline DeBruhl

Dear Oracle, I met someone earlier this year on an airplane(!), and I fell pretty hard, pretty quickly! However, we live in different states, and our lives have made a relationship challenging to pursue. Is there any potential, or should I let it go?—Is Love in The Air Cards to let go: Ace of Wands, Three of Swords, Last Quarter Moon Cards to pursue: The Hanged Man (reversed), Seven of Cups, Waxing Gibbous Dear ILITA, What a wonderful meet-cute story! As someone who met her husband while traveling and dated long distance for a while, I know exactly how you feel. It’s a great reminder that love is utterly indifferent to circumstance and strikes whenever and wherever she pleases. But when circumstances stack the odds against you, it can feel difficult to leap headfirst into love.

Let’s start with the breakup option. The relationship is still in its infancy; it’s Ace of Wands, all new and full of potential, which is why it might feel like you can make a clean break. But if you think that just because this is new, you can walk away completely unscathed, I don’t think that’s realistic. You said so yourself that you fell pretty hard and fast for this person, and if you leave, you’ll be nursing that Three of Swords heartache.

Will you survive that heartache? Probably.

Most people do. But the last card, the Last Quarter, makes me wonder if you’ll have some lingering doubts. The Last Quarter in my deck (Pagan Otherworlds) is a card of destiny and forces beyond our control. To breakup might feel like it wasn’t fated to be…or that it was, and you went against your destiny. Was it fate that sat you next to each other on the plane? Or a random chance that led to a short and sweet fling? Only you know your gut feeling on that.

So what about pursuing this relationship?

First, it’s going to require some sacrifice and a perspective shift. The Hanged Man is a card that requires patience, and being reversed suggests that this patience needs to last for a while. You’ll also have to look at the situation from a different angle. It’s certainly not the relationship that either of you planned, but The Hanged Man hangs out of devotion, not punishment. A sacrifice of comfort might bring a greater reward.

Then, there is the Seven of Cups, a risky game of choice. Each cup is an option, and some bring joy and others pain, but you should keep those options open as you get to know each other better. Finally, this spread ends with a Waxing Gibbous, a card about potential and readjusting our plans. And falling in love can absolutely change your life—for good or bad.

So what will it be: heartbreak and worry that you crossed fate or sacrifice, risk, and a potential huge life change for better or worse?

My high school therapist (a wonderful man named Andre) used to say when faced with Sophie’s choice: “You’re going to suffer either way, so which suffering do you want to tolerate?”

You have two options, both of potential suffering. You know it’ll be heartbreaking to end it. And moving forward requires sacrifice and risk—and potential greater heartbreak. But it also could be surprising and rewarding. So what do you want to tolerate?

Whichever path you choose, I hope you can move forward with confidence.

Dear Oracle, I have some friends going through some tough times right now. Between work stress, health issues, family problems, and a divorce, it feels like “when it rains, it pours.”

I want to be a good friend to those in need, but I’m worried that checking in via texts/phone calls

Cards: Seven of Pentacles, The Tower, Ace of Cups, all reversed Dear Friend, watching the people we love suffer can be so hard, especially if we’re natural caretakers and want to ease their troubles.

It seems like significant life changes are afoot, with The Tower looming in the middle of the spread. The Tower card can also mean miscommunication or talking past one another (it’s the Tower of Babel, technically), and while I often believe you should take people at their word, if your friend keeps saying “I’m fine” but is clearly struggling, perhaps help them out without prompting.

Offer to pick up groceries when you’re at the store or babysit when they’re at their doctor’s appointments. Some people bristle at “being taken care of,” so if actions are unwelcome, don’t continue.

But if you think your friend wouldn’t ask but would appreciate your help moving out of their ex’s house, go ahead and buy the packing tape.

The Seven of Pentacles is a card about reflection and investing, so consider if there are ways you can support in their care that are suitable for the situation. For example, a friend feeling overwhelmed with work might welcome a dinner out of the house, while a friend dealing with illness might just want someone to watch TV with. Different people have different bandwidths—including yourself. You can’t be everything for everyone, so make sure you’re taking care of yourself as well.

Lastly, just love your friends. Love them without judgment and be compassionate. That’s what Ace of Cups is all about.

People might be grumpy or lash out or be too depressed to say “thank you” right now, so try to remember why you’re helping out in the first place. You love these people, and they need some tenderness. If your usually kind friend is snapping at you, try to forgive and recognize that abnormal circumstances are causing abnormal behavior.

I’m sorry your friends are going through such a hard time right now. I hope whatever ails them can be rectified and that their suffering eases. Best of luck, my dear.

ORACLE OF YBOR

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Open and shut

By Dan Savage

That said, one-sided open relationships can be great, HA, but they work best when the person who isn’t seeking sex outside the relationship either isn’t interested in having sex with other people or is turned on by the erotic power imbalance of being forbidden something their spouse is allowed—basically, this could work if you were a cuckold. Which you’re not.

I’m a straight man who has been married to a wonderful woman for 35 years. I’m the only person she has ever been with. Over the years she has evolved into a wonderful giving partner open to things that turn me on. I take pride in being able to give her multiple orgasms although she only wants to do this about once per month. She has been happy to give me pleasure multiple times per month even, but she talks of it like it’s a chore (“wifely duties”) and is always asking me why I want it so much. I tell her it is more normal for men to want it more, and I wish she would want it more as well! I have used porn to get off since my teens. She accepts this because it means fewer chores for her, but she doesn’t like it. Recently I started using my phone to take videos of her performing oral on me as I enjoy watching this and it cuts down on the porn. She checked my phone and was upset at what she saw. I told her I was sorry, but she says I should’ve asked for permission. I told her I would have asked for permission, but I knew the answer would be no! She said of course it would be no and she called it sick and gross!

I tried to explain again that it is quite normal behavior for most men to want to watch and it is for my eyes only! As I said, she has evolved, as early in the marriage she would have never done some of things she has learned to do while pleasuring me! Long story short, any words of advice on this sexy-for-me, not-so-much-forher activity.—Sincerely Appreciate Your Advice, Sweet Savage

SAVAGE LOVE

Your wife isn’t the first person to come out as bisexual after making a monogamous commitment to an opposite-sex partner and then ask for permission to sleep with other people—without wanting to extend the same permission to their straight spouse. Since she’s bi and can’t get pussy at home, the reasoning goes, she should be allowed to get pussy elsewhere. Since you’re straight and can get pussy at home (when that pussy is at home), you’re not entitled to the same allowance. But as your wife is demonstrating, HA, it’s not just pussy she’s getting elsewhere.

While she’s getting one very specific need met outside your relationship—admittedly a need you can’t meet—she’s getting a lot more than that. In addition to pussy, she’s getting variety, adventure, unique experiences, new relationship energy, and two overnights a week. Why shouldn’t you have some of that, too? Not to even the score, but to feel like you’re an equal partner in this marriage and, as such, entitled to equal terms, equal treatment, and equal benefits.

And it doesn’t sound like you two were on the same page when it came to what opening your relationship entailed. You seem to have assumed—or figured—that your wife would be seeking sex elsewhere, sex and only sex, but your wife “caught feelings” and now she has a girlfriend. Agreeing to a one-sided open relationship is not the same thing as agreeing to one-sided polyamory. If you didn’t agree to that, HA, your wife had no right to expect that from you or impose that on you.

It’s not OK to take photos or videos of someone performing a sex act without their consent, SAYASS, even if that someone happens to be your wife. Even if that someone happens to have a lower libido than you do, even if that someone would rather you not look at porn, even if that someone enjoys most of the things you want them to do—not only isn’t it OK, SAYASS, it’s a crime. It’s not normal behavior, it’s asshole behavior—and, again, in most places it’s literally criminal behavior. So your wife has every right to be upset. You violated her and did so knowingly; you say you didn’t ask for permission to make those videos because you knew she would say no. Dude. If your wife had been

JOE NEWTON

Straight guy here in a one-sided open relationship. My wife and I opened our relationship just for her and to females only, so she could explore her bisexual side. I’m super proud of her for coming out and wanted her to feel fulfilled. When we agreed to this, I was naive and figured anything she experienced would be purely sexual and nothing more. She recently caught feelings and now has a girlfriend. She stays at her girlfriend’s place one to two nights a week. I get jealous and sick to my stomach when she is over there. She has that “new relationship energy” going and talks about her girlfriend all the time. Aside from the jealousy, I feel like I am not a priority.

I’m hoping my feelings get better with time. Besides this, our marriage is great.

I love my wife very much and want to support her in this. Are one-sided open relationships something that can work? Are my feelings unjustified and what can I do to better deal with them? The logic used when we talked about a one-sided open relationship was that I can’t satisfy the female side she desires. But since I’m hetero, I don’t have an “unfulfilled” side.—Home Alone

writing to me, SAYASS, I would advise her to get a lawyer and divorce you.

We hear so much about the all-important commitment to monogamy in marriage. What about the less emphasized but clearly important commitment to a healthy sex life? I’m a straight man. I’ve been married for about 20 years. I’ve never cheated on my wife, although I’ve come close in recent years. My wife and I had a healthy sex life for the first 10 years. For the last 10 years, we haven’t had sex at all. We are both in our late40s, athletic and attractive, and neither of us has any overwhelming physical or mental problems.

My wife is just so engrossed in her work and personal identity that she has stopped caring about sex. It’s all well and good to say, “You need to talk about this with her,” but I know from years of experience that would be futile. She refuses to discuss it. And she has made it clear that if I were to do anything outside the marriage, it would amount to unforgivable betrayal. I vacillate between acceptance, frustration, bitterness, and deep anger. Yes, I signed on for monogamy.

But what did she sign on for? Can a woman or man in a monogamous marriage unilaterally cut off sex for no reason and still expect or demand monogamy, as my wife does? What do I owe her?

And what does she owe me? Despite this issue, we are good partners, good friends, and good parents to our two teenage children. Protecting

them from the trauma of divorce, and not hurting my wife—these are the reasons I stay in the marriage. But it doesn’t feel right or fair that I have to be monogamous, that I will never experience physical intimacy again, not so much as a kiss or a touch, for the rest of my life, because my wife decided she is finished with that part of her life. What do other people think?—Saddened Over Love’s Omissions People in the comment threads at savage.love have been taking me to task recently for being too quick to give my blessing to cheating... so, instead of answering this one myself, I’m going to open it to the commenters: What do you guys think SOLO should do? Personally, I don’t think a person can insist on monogamy while refusing to meet their partner’s reasonable sexual needs. (Well, a person can insist on it, but they shouldn’t expect it.) Please don’t tell SOLO to talk with his wife. He’s tried talking about it— he’s tried again and again for 10 years—and his wife refuses to discuss it. So, gang, what should he do? Should he do the “right thing” and get a divorce? Or should he do what he needs to do to stay married and stay sane? I’ll see you in the comments thread.

Send mail to questions@savagelove.net, listen to Savage Lovecast, and follow @FakeDanSavage on Twitter. Get columns, podcasts, books, merch and more at savage.love.

cltampa.com | MAY 5 - 11, 2022 | 45

46 | MAY 5 - 11, 2022 | cltampa.com

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