Creative Loafing Tampa — March 18, 2021

CREATIVE LOAFING • CLTAMPA.COM 2021 (VOL.34, NO.11) $ FREE • MAR. 18- 24,

PALLADIUM ST. PETE’S ‘Creative Class’ STIPEND BOOSTS NINE LOCAL ARTISTS.

Important Facts About DOVATO

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements.

This is only a brief summary of important information about DOVATO and Some medicines interact with DOVATO. Keep a list of your medicines and show it to your does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition healthcare provider and pharmacist when you get a new medicine. and treatment.

• You can ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for a list of medicines that interact What is the most important information I should know about DOVATO? with DOVATO. If you have both human immunodeficiency virus-1 (HIV-1) and hepatitis B virus • Do not start taking a new medicine without telling your healthcare provider.

(HBV) infection, DOVATO can cause serious side effects, including: Your healthcare provider can tell you if it is safe to take DOVATO with other medicines.

• Resistant HBV infection. Your healthcare provider will test you for HBV infection before you start treatment with DOVATO. If you have HIV-1 and hepatitis B, the hepatitis B What are possible side effects of DOVATO? virus can change (mutate) during your treatment with DOVATO and become harder to treat DOVATO can cause serious side effects, including: • Those in the “What is the most important information I should know about (resistant). It is not known if DOVATO is safe and effective in people who have HIV-1 and DOVATO?” section.

HBV infection.

• Allergic reactions. Call your healthcare provider right away if you develop • Worsening of HBV infection. If you have HIV-1 and HBV infection, your HBV may a rash with DOVATO. Stop taking DOVATO and get medical help right away get worse (flare-up) if you stop taking DOVATO. A “flare-up” is when your HBV infection if you develop a rash with any of the following signs or symptoms: fever; suddenly returns in a worse way than before. Worsening liver disease can be serious and generally ill feeling; tiredness; muscle or joint aches; blisters or sores in mouth; blisters may lead to death. or peeling of the skin; redness or swelling of the eyes; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or ° Do not run out of DOVATO. Refill your prescription or talk to your healthcare provider tongue; problems breathing. before your DOVATO is all gone.

• Liver problems. People with a history of hepatitis B or C virus may have an increased ° Do not stop DOVATO without first talking to your healthcare provider. If you risk of developing new or worsening changes in certain liver tests during treatment with stop taking DOVATO, your healthcare provider will need to check your health often and DOVATO. Liver problems, including liver failure, have also happened in people without a do blood tests regularly for several months to check your liver. history of liver disease or other risk factors. Your healthcare provider may do blood tests to What is DOVATO? check your liver.

DOVATO is a prescription medicine that is used without other HIV-1 medicines to treat human Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get any of the following signs immunodeficiency virus-1 (HIV-1) infection in adults: who have not received HIV-1 medicines or symptoms of liver problems: your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow in the past, or to replace their current HIV-1 medicines when their healthcare provider (jaundice); dark or “tea-colored” urine; light-colored stools (bowel movements); nausea or determines that they meet certain requirements. HIV-1 is the virus that causes Acquired vomiting; loss of appetite; and/or pain, aching, or tenderness on the right side of your Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS). It is not known if DOVATO is safe and effective stomach area. in children.

• Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis). Lactic acidosis is a serious Who should not take DOVATO? medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right Do not take DOVATO if you: away if you get any of the following symptoms that could be signs of lactic • have ever had an allergic reaction to a medicine that contains dolutegravir or lamivudine. acidosis: feel very weak or tired; unusual (not normal) muscle pain; trouble breathing; • take dofetilide. stomach pain with nausea and vomiting; feel cold, especially in your arms and legs; feel What should I tell my healthcare provider before using DOVATO? dizzy or lightheaded; and/or a fast or irregular heartbeat.

• Lactic acidosis can also lead to severe liver problems, which can lead to Tell your healthcare provider about all of your medical conditions, including death. Your liver may become large (hepatomegaly) and you may develop fat in your if you: liver (steatosis). Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get any of • have or have had liver problems, including hepatitis B or C infection. the signs or symptoms of liver problems which are listed above under “Liver • have kidney problems. problems.” You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or severe liver • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. One of the medicines in DOVATO (dolutegravir) problems if you are female or very overweight (obese). may harm your unborn baby.

• Changes in your immune system (Immune Reconstitution Syndrome) can ° Your healthcare provider may prescribe a different medicine than DOVATO if you happen when you start taking HIV-1 medicines. Your immune system may get stronger are planning to become pregnant or if pregnancy is confirmed during the first 12 weeks and begin to fight infections that have been hidden in your body for a long time. Tell of pregnancy. your healthcare provider right away if you start having new symptoms after you start ° If you can become pregnant, your healthcare provider will perform a pregnancy test taking DOVATO. before you start treatment with DOVATO. • The most common side effects of DOVATO include: headache; nausea; diarrhea; If you can become pregnant, you should consistently use effective birth control ° trouble sleeping; tiredness; and anxiety. (contraception) during treatment with DOVATO. These are not all the possible side effects of DOVATO. Call your doctor for medical advice ° Tell your healthcare provider right away if you are planning to become pregnant, you about side effects. become pregnant, or think you may be pregnant during treatment with DOVATO. • are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you take DOVATO. ° You should not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby. ° One of the medicines in DOVATO (lamivudine) passes into your breastmilk. ° Talk with your healthcare provider about the best way to feed your baby.

©2020 ViiV Healthcare or licensor.

DLLADVT200003 August 2020 Produced in USA.

2 | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | cltampa.com

SO MUCH GOES INTO WHO I AM HIV MEDICINE IS ONE PART OF IT. Why could DOVATO be right for you? DOVATO is proven to help control HIV with just 2 medicines in 1 pill. That means fewer medicines* in your body while taking DOVATO. It’s proven as effective as an HIV treatment with 3 or 4 medicines.

Learn more about fewer medicines at DOVATO.com DOVATO is a complete prescription regimen to treat HIV-1 in adults who have not received HIV-1 medicines in the past or to replace their current HIV-1 medicines when their doctor determines they meet certain requirements.

Results may vary. *As compared with 3- or 4-drug regimens.

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Where can I find more information?

• Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist.

• Go to DOVATO.com or call 1-877-844-8872, where you can also get FDA-approved labeling.

August 2020 DVT:4PIL Trademark is owned by or licensed to the ViiV Healthcare group of companies.

New to treatment? Considering a switch?

Ask your doctor about DOVATO. cltampa.com | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | 3

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tampabaytacotakeover.com • #tampabaytacotakeover cltampa.com | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | 5

PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf FOOD and THEATER CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge FILM & TV CRITIC John W. Allman C/O JENI ARMSTRONG

CONTRIBUTORS Jeffrey C. Billman, Carter Brantley, Dr. Amanda Hagood, Alexandria Jones, Deborah BostockKelley, Joe Newton, Stephanie Powers, Cory Robinson, Dan Savage,

ory

INTERNS We don’t have any this semester. Apply via rroa@cltampa.com

stion ................. 5 tory

DESIGN & PRODUCTION MANAGER Jack Spatafora

SeaWorld in February, animal rights PHOTOGRAPHERS Nicole Abbett claiming the practice of keeping Dave Decker, Javiwild Ortiz d dangerous. But even though public atmany SeaWorld animal rights ACCOUNT don’t in seeFebruary, aSENIOR parallel between the kind claiming the practice of keepinganimals wild k, and the practice ofEXECUTIVES displaying Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda nd dangerous. even though public asking for tooBut much?

Or is it time for a d, many don’t see a parallel between the kind t” animals?

MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND

stion ................. 5

ck and the practice of displaying animals EVENTS DIRECTOR s asking for tooAlexis much?Quinn Or is Chamberlain it time for a ent” animals?

Corner Club reopens under new ownership next month, p. 20.

NEWS+VIEWS ..........................13 FOOD+DRINK ...........................19

MARLO MILLER C/O GASPARILLA MUSIC FESTIVAL

MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS INTERN Claire White Music: Tampa Bay Blues Fest ........................... 40 EUCLID MEDIA GROUP Music Week ................................................... 42 CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Music: Tampa Blues Fest ...........................

Concert review:Bay Artic Monkeys ..........................40 42 Andrew Zelman CHIEF OPERATING OFFICERS42 Music ...................................................

The ListWeek ..........................................................

46 Chris Artic Keating, Michael Wagner42 Concert review: Monkeys ..........................

Movie reviews .....................................................

63 VP OF DIGITAL SERVICES Stacy Volhein TheWill List Astrology ..........................................................

46 Free .........................................

64 DIGITAL OPERATIONS COORDINATOR Movie ........................................................... reviews.....................................................

63 Jaime Monzon Puzzler 66

Our diverse menu will help define our new identity.

Free Will Astrology......................................... 64

Savage Love ...................................................... 69

euclidmediagroup.com cltampa.com

Puzzler ........................................................... 66

Savage Love ......................................................

69 cldeals.com

clspace.com

EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa is a weekly newspaper covering public issues, the arts and entertainment.

In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum. They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

Creative Loafing Tampa is published by Tampa Weekly, LLC, 204 E. Henderson Ave. Tampa, FL 33602. The newspaper is available free of charge at locations throughout Tampa Bay and online at cltampa.com. cltv How2020, wasTampa your Weekly, Date? LLC. The Copyright m/cltv newspaper cltampa.com/movies How is was your Date? produced and printed on cltampa.com/movies Indigenous land belonging to Tampa Bay’s Tocobaga and Seminole tribes.

MUSIC .....................................37 MUSIC WEEK .......................... 43 SAVAGE LOVE ......................... 45

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Ybor Festival of the Ybor Festival of the Moving Image Moving Image A MEMBER OF: cltampa.com/arts cltampa.com/arts Follow us on

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ON THE COVER: Photo by Steve Splane/WUSF. Design by Jack Spatafora.

Letters to the editor: comments@cltampa.com

_tampa. . cl_tampa

itors ors

Gasparilla Music Festival is back, p. 41.

CROSSWORD ...........................47

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/food Openings out the ass JAVI ORTIZ (@ZITROVISION)

non scs

A&E .........................................27

October is happening!

God willing, and the creek don’t rise.

/music Concert announcements /news Having fun yet? /arts Theater updates photos.cltampa.com BTS at Tampa Theatre

USA TODAY 10 BEST

Gluten Free Restaurants in Tampa Bay

hand crafted • inventive eclectic • health conscious vegan cauliflower crust gluten free & vegan options

12-9pm / 7 days a week • Curbside Carryout & Delivery Available 610 S. Armenia Ave • Hyde Park /SoHo • (813) 258-1999 gourmetpizza-company.com cltampa.com | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | 7

Lettuce eat Photos by Dave Decker

I

had a very St. Petersburg Saturday last weekend, and it started with a quick trip to Brick Street Farms which hosted a ‘VegFeast’ in its back lot while a vegan-minded expo happened inside. After a short stay, I left with 3 Dot Dash’s Impossible picadillo, Golden Dinosaurs Cuban sandwich and Nah Dogs’ poke dog in my belly plus an O’Berry’s Succulents air plant in my hand (which my dumbass somehow launched into the ether before I could even get to the Tombolo Books pick-up rack a few blocks away).—Ray Roa

continued on page 11

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POLITICS

ISSUES

OPINION

KEEP STEPPIN’: This isn’t the first time Tampa Bay has ranked on the ‘Dangerous by Design’ list.

Watch your step

Report says Tampa Bay is the 8th most dangerous place in the U.S. for pedestrians.

By Colin Wolf

W

e’ve known this for quite some time, but Tampa Bay was designed for cars. While some areas are becoming somewhat more “walkable,” a new study suggests that using your legs to get around these parts is statistically a terrible idea.

The “Dangerous By Design” study, which was released March 10 from pedestrian-safety advocacy groups Smart Growth America and National Complete Streets Coalition, points out that the Tampa Bay area is now the eighth deadliest metro in the country for pedestrians.

According to the study, the area registered 968 pedestrian fatalities between 20102019, the last full year of available data. Overall, the report ranked the 100 most populous metro areas by their “Pedestrian Danger Index” (or PDI) and found that nine of the 20 most dangerous communities in the nation are in Florida.

The PDI number is calculated by “how deadly it is for people to walk in a state or metropolitan area based on the number of people struck and killed by drivers while walking, controlling for the number of people that live in that state

or metro area and the number of people that walk to work.”

Other deadly Florida metros that ranked unfavorably in the study include OrlandoKissimmee-Sanford, which was literally the most deadly area in the country for pedestrians, followed by Palm Bay-Melbourne-Titusville (no. 4), Deltona-Daytona Beach-Ormond Beach (no. 5), North Port-Sarasota-Bradenton (no. 6), LakelandWinter Haven (no. 9), Jacksonville (no. 10), Cape Coral-Fort Myers (no.

11), and Miami-Fort LauderdalePompano Beach (no. 13).

As you can see, Florida cities overwhelmingly dominated the Top 20, so it should also come as no surprise that the state as a whole was ranked as the deadliest state in the nation for pedestrians, logging a total of 5,893 deaths over that 2010-2019 span. This truly is an astronomical number, especially when you consider that the state with the second most deaths was Alabama with 936, followed by New Mexico (626), Mississippi (596), and Delaware (269).

The populations that have paid the biggest price for Florida’s car-focused mindset have been

LOCAL NEWS

people of color, the elderly, and residents in low income areas. According to the report, AfricanAmerican pedestrians face two-thirds greater risk than white populations, additionally, people walking in lower-income neighborhoods are three times more likely to be hit and killed by a car than people in wealthy areas.

The study points out that while Florida has made an effort over the last decade to address these issues, the policies enacted have overwhelmingly failed. “In 2014, the state adopted a Complete Streets policy and the Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) initially took ambitious steps to implement the policy, launching major updates to its design standards and planning statewide training for roadway engineers,” says the study. “Policies intended to save lives should be measured by their success, and Florida’s effort has failed to live up to its billing. Undoing the damage caused by decades spent building dangerous roads and car-scale development takes continuous and ongoing commitment. While it makes sense not to see dramatic improvements immediately, progress should be evident at some point.”

This isn’t the first time Tampa Bay has ranked on this list, and while there’s no one particular reason for its continual pedestrian issues, it doesn’t help that the area has a severe lack of reliable and affordable mass transportation options, a very apparent shortage of protected/dedicated bike lanes, as well an insufficient amount of crosswalks, particularly in areas with heavy minority

populations. Not to mention that streets in lowincome areas with large populations of people of color (like Fowler, Busch, Fletcher, Hillsborough, Nebraska) experience a disproportionate amount of pedestrian deaths.

Of course, these problems likely won’t be addressed anytime soon, now that the Florida Supreme Court rejected Hillsborough County’s transportation tax, which would have provided much-need local funding for Hillsborough Area Regional Transit, as well as major projects like the TECO Line Streetcar system extension and modernization project, bus rapid transit projects, and the Cross-Bay Ferry connection.

A 2017 special report from the Tampa Bay Times found that the area is the only Top-20 metro region in the country to spend less than $213 million annually on public transportation.

“While transportation agencies have done much to avoid doing so, we urgently need to change the way we design and build roads to prioritize safety, not speed, as we currently do,” said Beth Osborne, transportation director for Smart Growth America. “In fact, the obsession with keeping traffic moving and avoiding delay at all costs in hopes of saving drivers mere seconds creates the very dangers highlighted in this report. This is why crosswalks are missing or too far apart, why lanes are too wide, why intersections are difficult to cross on foot, and why money can always be found to widen a road, even when adding sidewalks is deemed ‘too expensive.”

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Please shut up

In a week of bad arguments and risible remarks from awful men, one stands above the rest

O

n Friday afternoon, facing seven allegations of sexual assault or harassment—not to mention an ongoing investigation into his cover-up of nursing home COVID-19 deaths— New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo told reporters that congressional and legislative Democrats’ calls for him to resign were part of (wait for it) “cancel culture.” Then he added, with a straight face, that “part of this is that I’m not part of the political club. And you know what? I’m proud of it.”

Cuomo is a three-term governor of America’s fourth-largest state, and the son of a three-term governor. If he’s not part of the political club, the club does not exist.

Surely, I thought, this was the whiniest, most risibly stupid thing a politician has said since Donald Trump retreated to Mar-a-Lago. As it turns out, it wasn’t even the whiniest, most risibly stupid thing a politician had said in the previous 48 hours.

That morning, Sen. Marco Rubio published an op-ed in USA Today aligning with unionizing Amazon workers in Alabama. Not because he likes unions, but because Amazon is woke.

“For the past several years,” Rubio began, “Amazon has waged a war against working-class values. The Silicon Valley titan uses anticompetitive strategies to crush small businesses, bans conservative books, and blocks traditional charities from participating in its AmazonSmile program.”

To translate from charlatan: Amazon has refused to sell books from anti-LGBTQ quacks and provide fundraising platforms for hate groups, and reading books by anti-LGBTQ quacks and raising money for hate groups are working-class values.

Rubio continued: “Republicans have rightly understood the dangers posed by the unchecked influence of labor unions. … But the days of conservatives being taken for granted by the business community are over. Here’s my standard: When the conflict is between working Americans and a company whose leadership has decided to wage [a] culture war against working-class values, the choice is easy—I support the workers.”

Again, translating from charlatan: Unions are bad, except when companies won’t host rightwing social media platforms whose users are openly plotting to kill and rape politicians.

As vapid as he is, Rubio had competition from

two Senate colleagues. The first was Sen. Thom Tillis, who, in opposing the For the People Act’s requirement that dark money groups disclose their donors, coughed up this gem of critical thinking: “[Democrats] simply found another way to do exactly the same thing—people providing money to candidates and influencing elections. They’ve just come up with a more sophisticated, broad-based policy that I doubt very seriously that they’d be willing to abandon.”

Tillis was equating ActBlue, which collects small-dollar donations on behalf of Democratic candidates, to the super PACs that spent millions on his behalf last year. The difference: ActBlue reports its donations to the FEC. Dark money groups do not.

Then there’s Sen. Ron Johnson of Wisconsin, who’s spent the last few months spreading conspiracy theories about election fraud and the Jan. 6 Capitol riots being the work of antifa. RonAnon told a radio interviewer that he wasn’t worried during the insurrection because “I knew those were people that loved this country, that truly respect law enforcement, would never do anything to break a law, and so I wasn’t concerned.” (They killed a cop.)

“Had the tables been turned and President Trump won the election and those were tens of thousands of Black Lives Matter and antifa protesters,” Johnson added, “I might have been a little concerned.”

Switching from gross racism to gross pleas for attention. The day after President Biden’s primetime address, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis tried to position himself as Biden’s antagonist.

“You know I was watching this speech last night about saying, ‘Oh, well, we may have to impose lockdown restrictions again.’

Biden said that. Let me just tell you, there’s no lockdowns in Florida, OK. We’re not going to let anyone close schools, we’re not going to let anyone take your jobs, we’re not going to let anyone close your businesses.”

Except Biden didn’t say that. What he said was, “Unity is what we do together as fellow Americans, because if we don’t stay vigilant and the conditions change, then we may have to reinstate restrictions to get back on track. And please, we don’t want to do that again.”

In other words, Ron, if we behave recklessly to score cheap political points—like, say, waiving local governments’ fines for violating COVID-19 restrictions, thus signaling that all rules are

INFORMED DISSENT

“ ...I’m not part of the political club.”

DIANA ROBINSON (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

By Jeffrey C. Billman

ASSHOLE ANDREW: Cuomo said calls for him to resign were part of ‘cancel culture.’ off, even as communities of color are unable to access vaccines that all seem to end up in your supporters’ arms—things could get very bad again, and we’d have to respond accordingly.

In the meantime, stop punching straw men.

But even this wasn’t the most asinine comment of the week. That prize goes to Arizona state Rep. John Kavanagh, who did us all a favor by saying the quiet part out loud.

Last Wednesday, Kavanagh, the chairman of the Government and Elections Committee defended his party’s attacks on voting rights as follows: “There’s a fundamental difference between Democrats and Republicans. Democrats value as many people as possible voting, and they’re willing to risk fraud. Republicans are more concerned about fraud, so we don’t mind putting security measures in that won’t let everybody vote—but everybody shouldn’t be voting.”

He said this after acknowledging that the evidence for election fraud was “anecdotal.”

Then again, as Kavanagh made clear, that’s not the point. “Quantity is important,” he said, “but we have to look at the quality of votes, as well.”

Which is to say, it’s more important to fix a nonexistent problem than to encourage “inferior” people to vote.

In a week full of bad arguments from awful men, Kavanagh’s was the worst—though he’s not exactly on the fringe. Across the country, Republicans have introduced more than 250 bills that restrict voting, all rooted in the belief that not everyone deserves to vote because some voters are of lesser quality.

Get Informed Dissent delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe at billman.substack. com.

cltampa.com | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | 15

Float on

Tampeños find socially-distanced way to celebrate Gasparilla.

By Stephanie Powers

W

hen Gasparilla was canceled, Tampa resi- can sign up late and join in whenever they want. dent Christa Weiss looked to New Orleans Houses can stay decorated for as little or as long for inspiration—mainly to a woman named as the individual wants, but the longer the more Megan Bordeaux. Bordeaux organized “Yardi donation opportunities.

Gras” which resulted in around 3,000 houses Weiss’ house will be decorated in a “pirate decorated as floats, a socially-distanced way for chic’’ theme, but homes don’t have to be piratepeople to still celebrate. themed. Other abodes Taking Bordeaux’s lead, are decorated as “20,021 Weiss created “Krewe of Leagues Under the Sea,” “Candyland,” and “Flower Tampa House Floats” which invites people from Power.” Weiss mainly want Krewe of Tampa House Floats any neighborhood to decpeople to be able to express Through April 17 orate their houses like a themselves, and be creative. kreweoftampahousefloats.com Gasparilla float. When she There are only a few caught up with Creative Loafing Tampa Bay by rules of participation, mainly keeping the event phone, Weiss had about 30 houses involved but family friendly and COVID-19 safe. more people have claimed interest.

“No vulgarity, no profanity,” Weiss said.

The house floats span the city, with the Basically, not the time to show off your new boob majority in South Tampa. Davis Island, Dana job for beads, people—save it for never. The event Shores, Ballast Point, and Weiss’ neighborhood page also asks participants to, “Please do not Parkland Estates are also among those partici- display any type of political advertisements or pating. But there are folks in Brandon and New endorsements. However feel free to express curTampa and other locations involved—Weiss is rent issues through caricatures,.” welcoming anyone to join in. “I didn’t want anyWhile touring the homes, socially distancing one to be excluded,” she told CL. and masks are required while also following all The self-guided tour includes signs with QR other local and national COVID-19 protocols. codes at each house for donation options to local Another rule on the event page that is a good charities. Weiss wants to benefit a variety of reminder for life in general: “Be kind, courteous local nonprofits including Feeding Tampa Bay, and treat everyone with respect regardless of Judeo Chrisitian Clinic, Voices for Children and their opinions, race, sexual preference…”

Life Center of the Suncoast. Through “a couple And if the event is successful, Weiss hopes dollars here, a couple there” Weiss figured she to continue the next year with or without a pancould make an impact. demic and with or without Gasparilla.

For more information and a map of the decoIf you want to decorate your house, Weiss isn’t strict about the timeline. Though the event rated houses visit kreweoftampahousefloats.com. officially runs from March 13-April 17, people Find that link on cltampa.com/magazine.

LOCAL NEWS

SIMONE BAUTISTA

SHORING UP: A Gasparilla house float in progress.

16 | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | cltampa.com

Shit Happened DONKEYHOTEY/CC BY 2.0

In a Twitter post, U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz—a very normal human being and not at all a bag of raccoons working in unison to resemble a real congressman—called on Florida’s governor to remove Pasco County’s Sheriff who was sued this week by residents claiming an intelligence program run by the top cop’s agency violated their constitutional rights. It feels gross, but we totally agree with Gaetz on that.

FRIDAY 12 Speaking of feeling dirty, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis denies that he had COVID-19, adding that Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Fried’s “hunch” about him disappearing for three weeks is a conspiracy theory. Icky, but we kind of agree that the assertion is a low blow.

MONDAY 15 A Senate committee unanimously approved a bill that would allow counties and cities to restrict smoking on beaches and public parks they own. The bill’s sponsor, Joe Gruters, is actually a Republican from Sarasota, so there isn’t really anyone out there complaining about cigarettes getting “canceled.”

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers go on a free agent signing spree signaling that the band is getting back together under lead singer and frontman Tom Brady. Plenty of time for you to get on the bandwagon—read more on p. 31.

NICOLE ABBETT

THURSDAY 11

TUESDAY 16 In the face of their schools’ reluctance to hold large gatherings, local soon-to-be college grads are organizing their own graduations so they can walk across the stage to get their diplomas. In a way, we feel them—everyone deserves to be acknowledged for their hard work and sacrifice—but is anyone else the least troubled by all the effort our future leaders are putting towards making sure they get a good photo all while the world at large could use their energy for other things?

A year of this two-person newsroom shit, and we’re still here because you’ve bookmarked cltampa.com/news. Thanks for the boost.

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OPENINGS & CLOSINGS RESTAURANTS

RECIPES

DINING GUIDES

Willa’s look at that

A new NoHo favorite leads the latest round of local food news.

By Alexandria Jones and Stephanie Powers

Now open Caddy’s on Madeira Beach The sixth location for the local chain opened last week just in time for spring break. The spot right on the sand is two stories, with bars on both floors, waterfront views, and plenty of outdoor seating with picnic tables. It’s open from 11 a.m.-11 p.m. daily.

14080 Gulf Blvd., Madeira Beach. caddys.com ‘Giraffe Bar’ at Busch Gardens Featuring panoramic indoor and outdoor views of the Serengeti plain, the new bar soft opens on March 19 before officially cutting the ribbon on March 26. Mixologist-curated cocktails, wine, beers and frozen drinks are on the menu and sport names like “The Hungry Tusker,” “Thorn and Berry” and the “Masai Margarita.” The Proud Pour wines include “Save the Bees” pinot noir and “Save the Oceans” sauvignon blanc, which both support wildlife conservation efforts worldwide. Giraffe Bar also features a new, chef-curated menu of shareable apps, but if you want to feed any giraffes at Busch Gardens you’ll still have to do that by booking a separate tour. You really think they’d let your drunk ass feed animals from a patio bar?

10165 McKinley Dr., Tampa. buschgardens.com Hungry Lion St. Leo University’s new food truck mostly lives in San Antonio but makes trips to St. Leo’s Tampa Education Center in West Tampa. The 34-foot truck’s menu includes studentfriendly options including burgers, sandwiches, pizzas, and soups. A few sandwiches are named after Saint Leo community members like Abbot Issac’s Special, Mac Daddy Hernandez, Cillo Burger, and Frank’s Tomato Basil. saintleo.edu Willa’s American restaurant, bar and cafe Willa’s—the brainchild of Tampa natives Nate Siegel and Merrin Jenkins—is officially open in North Hyde Park. The much anticipated concept made the announcement last week, adding that it’s operating at 70% capacity, plus implementing safety measures. The family-friendly concept has been on the mind of locals since

December 2019 and recently announced plans to finally open in January. Housed within a 4700-square-foot, century-old industrial warehouse, nearly everything on the Willa’s menu is made in house, from the bread to the tonics. In a testament to its mission to serve the classics, the signature dish—named after Merrin’s greatgreat-grandmother and 19th-century Tampa pioneer, William Lowry—is a rotisserie chicken.

“The kitchen staff uses the whole bird to make stock and bone broth from scratch for dishes like

Americana Folk Art Cafe) will drive the kitchen, and you can still smoke in the back, when the revamped neighborhood favorite reopens next month. Read more on p. 22. 1502 E Sligh Ave., Tampa. Corner Club Tampa on Facebook Eden Asad Yusupov and Kevin Stowe of the Phoenix Hospitality Group, owners of the new Asian-fusion Haiku restaurant, are keeping busy with the upscale nightclub which looks like it’s opening soon at the spot once occupied by disgraced Tampa nightclub Franklin Manor.

King of the Coop Another week, another new location for Seminole Heights’ hot chicken heavyweight King of the Coop. Tampa Bay Business Journal wrote that Coop owner Joe Dodd is teaming up with another spicy boi, Cigar City Brewing’s Joey Redner, to open a dining garden behind Ybor City’s Cigar City Cider Mead. Two weeks ago, Dodd told CL that his Nashville hot chicken concept was opening its third location in Westchase. Dodd told CL the concept is an extension of Cigar City’s kitchen and has to clear some city permits, but Redner told TBBJ that it could be open within three to six months. 1812 N 15th St., Ybor City. kingofthecoop.com—Ray Roa Relocating Kuba Cocina Late last month, Kuba Cocina (fka Hemingways) let fans know it was leaving Armature Works for a new location in Tampa— now we know that new spot is the original Seminole Heights home of The Refinery. The new address will be home to “Cuban cuisine, a sultry speakeasy and an outdoor rooftop bar perfect for sipping sangria all day long.” 5910 N Florida Ave., Tampa. kubacocina.com

©2021 JETT BUTLER FOR FÖDA™

B

each season is here, so here’s a new roundup of the latest food news to help you reach your goal of giving two shits about looking “good” in your swimsuit, because where there’s a Willa’s there’s a way, people. Read more and get linked to breaking food news in real time via cltampa.com/magazine.

WHERE THERE’S A WILLA’S: A much-anticipated North Hyde Park restaurant is now open.

Chicken & Rice Soup, Schmaltz Potatoes and more,” Willa’s wrote in a press release. Hours for Willa’s are Wednesday-Sunday, 5 p.m.-10 p.m., and expanded lunch hours and weekend brunch are to come. Its sister concept Willa’s Provisions opens next month. 1700 W Fig St., Tampa. willastampa.com—Ray Roa Coming soon Corner Club Tampa chef Suzanne Crouch (formerly of Cass Street Deli and Ella’s

Though the owners would not confirm an opening date to Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, the club’s social media pages are full of pictures that would make one assume that the place is pretty close. There are pics of a rainbow assortment of signature cocktails including the “Holy Water” made of Bacardi, lime juice, coconut, mint and blue curacao. A rep once again confirmed to CL that neither Eden or Haiku have any connection to the problematic Nocturnal Hospitality Group.

912 N Franklin St., Tampa. edentampa.com

ICYMI Chef Nathan Hardin is hosting a seafood pop-up at downtown Tampa’s Pour House this weekend It happens in celebration of the bar’s 11-year anniversary and is built around a not-so-fancy seafood fest featuring lobster, crab, and crab rolls. In addition to seafood rolls, Hardin’s menu features caviar “bumps” for $7—making for a cheap way to discover whether or not you like the salty eggs.

Hours for Hardin’s Gather pop-up are Friday, March 19, 5 p.m.-10 p.m., Saturday, March 20, noon-5 p.m. and Sunday, March 21, 11 a.m.-8 p.m. @gathertpa on Instagram Korean grocery chain H Mart to open first Florida location in Orlando The store will be the first H Mart location in both the city and the state. H Mart is the biggest Asian supermarket chain in the country, with nearly 100 stores and was part of the inspiration for Michelle Zauner’s critically-acclaimed memoir “Crying In H Mart.” 7501 W Colonial Dr., Orlando. hmart.com—Matthew Moyer

cltampa.com | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | 19

RAY ROA

SELF-REFLECTION: A big question for the new Corner Club is whether it’ll have karaoke for one or two nights a week.

Rounding a Corner

A reinvented Old Seminole Heights staple opens next month.

By Stephanie Powers

O

ld Seminole Heights’ Corner Club—sold last year to Tampa Bay restaurant vet Jeni Armstrong—is almost ready for business and hoping for an early April opening.

Armstrong is keeping the Corner Club moniker and the bones of the building built in 1945, but did clean it out. In doing so, Armstrong found a lot of good stuff to work with including covered up windows.

“We did not add any windows, we only replaced ones,” Armstrong told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. For instance, while gutting the old women’s bathroom she and her team found a window which now operates as the takeout window.

I got to check out the new space at 1502 E Sligh Ave. As a long time regular of the old Corner Club, I had butterflies walking into my old haunt. It was like seeing an old boyfriend for the first time in a long while.

But that old boyfriend had been working out, gotten a facelift and stopped smoking. I think I might be smitten.

So listen: It’s not the Corner Club we knew.

That bar is closed. Patti is not there, and you can’t smoke inside. Cheese puffs are replaced with pineapple toast, hand pies and smoked fish dip. There’s King State coffee, Chris Preston and Cory Robinson artwork in the bathrooms, and a patio out back. There is beer and wine, and a full menu with brunch on the weekends. What’s more is that Chef Suzanne Crouch formerly of Cass Street Deli and Ella’s Americana Folk Art Cafe is in charge of the kitchen.

A lot of people gripe about the neighborhood changing, with the renovation of the Club hot on people’s list of complaints. Armstrong wants people not to make opinions without a reference. “I tell them to at least give us a chance,” Armstrong said.

Change is inevitable, and like my editor said to me, “They could’ve torn it down and built a Starbucks.”

“To safely succeed in this new climate we needed to pivot from being just a bar to appealing to the broader audience,” Armstrong added, “With not only what we serve but who we serve. Our diverse menu will help define our new identity.”

A menu shared with CL includes breakfast items (bagels, biscuits), apps (chicken yakitori, papas bravas), share plates (smoked fish dip), boards (charcuterie, cast iron sliders), desert and vegan options, plus coffee and weekend brunch.

And Armstrong has a lot of experience; she helped open The Bricks in Ybor and assisted with operations at the Skatepark of Tampa. Before that, she was a 15-year vet of Starbucks.

Though Armstrong hasn’t hired a KJ yet, they are planning on having karaoke on the weekends though unsure if it will be one or two nights. Other Club traditions are staying the same. There is still PBR and boiled peanuts—Armstrong inherited about eight Crock-Pots with the purchase. In fact, she got everything that was inside except for the Waylon and Willie picture that lived to the west of the front door. “It was supposed to come with the sale, but when we got the keys it was gone,” Armstrong said.

She’s not complaining though, because she found a Dolly Parton picture, in the exact same style, which now hangs in the same spot. The Corner Club still has the same foosball table (the rest of the games were rented) and a lot ofTVs. A health inspection and the beer and wine transfer await.

Not a lot of paperwork is holding the process up “...since we only did renovations...nothing was added,” she said.

The Club will be open from Monday-Sunday 8 a.m.-11 p.m., but Armstrong will adjust if she sees the need to stay open later, especially on weekends. Find links to job applications and websites via cltampa.com/magazine.

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Tampa bar has a special message for customers.

s a fe t y h a r b o r

By Ray Roa

A

In a new Facebook review of the bar, a user/ s vaccination numbers rise and the world inches closer to “normal” one Tampa bar troll, whose profile is cringey at best, took offense to being asked to take a mask, adding he doesn’t is keeping it real with some of its patrons.

Shuffle has a new public service announce- even carry one because “ ...this is Florida.” The ment postcard that simply says “Wear your user even referred to Evanchyk as “oppressive.” fucking mask when you’re shuffleboarding you “I’ve never been called oppressive before,” Evanchyk wrote in the comments. “I feel like a piece of shit.”

The vagina-forward world leader.” bar—which celebrates Shuffle, of course, is the its third anniversary on same bar that in 2019 hilarShuffle 3-year anniversary Saturday with bands and iously ran a President’s Day a flea market outdoors— promotion where it promKatara Trio w/Tribal Style/Sunsetters/ was a touch kinder in its Will Quinlan/Josh Reilly/The Melan Sea/DJ Wally ised to add 20% to the bill of Rios. Saturday, March 12, 12 p.m. Free. social media caption makanyone who came in wear2612 N Tampa St., Tampa shuffletampa.com ing the announcement. ing a MAGA hat.

“Put a mask on your pretty And before you write pretty face and come get the last of this deli- off Shuffle as some bastion of liberal, antifa-lovcious Dry Hopped Saison from @baycannonbeer,” ing, queercore, commie values, remember that it’s Shuffle wrote. owned by the patriots and daughters of Vietnam Shuffle co-founder Jennifer Evanchyk told vets who let vets rehab and play shuffleboard for Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that the inspiration free on Veteran’s Day. Several VA inpatient groups, for the PSA wasn’t that complicated. “I liter- which helps polytrauma injured patients prepare ally texted Joe [D’Acunto, designer for hire] one to return home, have all come to play. day and said can you make us something that Co-ownerDanielle O’Connor and Evanchyk says WEAR YOUR FUCKING MASK WHEN wrote that, “many patients with traumatic brain YOU’RE SHUFFLEBOARDING YOU PIECE injuries (TBI) are relearning how to do most OF SHIT?,” Evanchyk wrote in a text message. everything, including shop, cook and count.”

“And that’s what he sent. It was so funny that I Shuffleboard gives patients the opportunity to play a sport while improving their math skills printed them.”

Evanchyk thinks that some people may think to add the scores. Others practice standing up of playing shuffleboard like going to the gym or from their wheelchairs or walkers to gain balsomething. “It’s against their rights to have to ance, while slinging biscuits. " wear a mask when exercising,” she said, adding And by the way, the City of Tampa still has an that Shuffle staff does have free masks to give ordinance that says bar and restaurant patrons to patrons who forget theirs. The bar and music must be masked unless seated and actively eating or drinking, so follow the rules or get fucking venue even has some custom masks for sale.

“We will put them on you if you want for extra reminded to do so, I guess. It's going to be fine, cost,” Evanchyk said. we promise.

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THEATER MOVIES

THEATER

ART

CULTURE

‘Gary’ and ‘Son’

Compelling theater awaits at Tampa Stageworks and St. Pete’s Off Kilter.

By Jon Palmer Claridge “American Son” director Fanni Green lives the issues that many black women face every day and skillfully guides them to the forefront.

Demos-Brown’s play adds the pressures of an interracial marriage to the core problem: how do you keep your Black son safe? What is it like to be one of the few Black kids in a posh private school? How do you forcefully assert your rights and still avoid being seen as “an angry Black woman?” How do you accept powerless-

disservice, but the play gallops along almost without allowing you to take a breath. When Kendra’s estranged husband, white FBI agent Scott (a picture perfect Ward Smith) arrives to check on their son’s status, complications arise.

Finally, as the important officer on duty Lt. Stokes (Aaron Washington, all business) shows up at 4 a.m. with some answers, he spars with the couple, and scolds Kendra about judging his actions as a Black cop.

C/O AMERICAN STAGE

C

ompelling theater obviously begins with thought-provoking scripts. When these are paired with directors who have a vision for the most visceral way to expose each play’s emotional core, audiences are in for a treat.

Sometimes the material builds gradually in real time in an essentially realistic tone around issues torn from the headlines like “American Son.” Other times, we’re asked to cross over to the avant-garde in a retrospective whirl that asks us to make leaps of imagination to connect the dots as in “The Velocity of Gary.”

However, both shows which opened last week on opposite sides of the Bay share some similar themes despite their divergent styles.

What is the true definition of family and who gets to define it? What is it like to be perceived as the “other” as you strive to find your authentic self and make your way forward in our complicated world?

Hip-hop sets the mood at Stageworks in Tampa; there’s a BLM rap juxtaposed with hand-clapping gospel inflected music. But when we first meet Kendra Ellis-Connor (an intense, nuanced Andresia Moseley) at the police station, you know from her empty eyes that something is amiss. She glances left in silence, then checks her phone. Thunder claps as she paces. She’s a picture of anxiety; her 18-year-old son, Jamal, has not come home and is not returning her texts. The white rookie cop Paul Larkin (Blake Halloran) is no help. He answers her questions by declaring “we have a protocol, OK?” and we “don’t need to run down a rabbit hole.” Halloran is a study in bureaucratic indifference, which only amps up the tension as his third degree is filled with racist stereotypes.

Frank Chavez’s mid-century set is brilliantly generic. The Coral Gables Police waiting room could be anywhere USA. The clean lines of gray walls with inlaid wood, hanging pendant lights, plus the hint of a dappled tile floor give the American flag pedestal special prominence by contrast. Lighting and sound designer, Karla Hartley, makes sure that the flag is a central image as the play begins. The two rectangular doorways flanked by sconces are portals into darkness, emphasizing Kendra’s sense of limbo as she waits for answers that are excruciatingly slow in coming.

THE SQUAD: (L-R) ‘American Son’ cast members Blake Halloran, Andresia Moseley, Ward Smith and Aaron Washington. ness as a Black mother finally releasing your children into a world of institutionalized racism? Misogyny and racism infuse our culture.

It’s impossible to avoid ingrained suspicion regardless of education or financial position.

The evening explores how the collision of cultures defines us as a nation.

As her frustration mounts, Kendra confronts Officer Larkin, whose hand instinctively lands on the gun on his hip. Psychology professor Kendra quips that I “know when I’m being managed.” To divulge more would be a

Even though I saw the Broadway production, and knew exactly where the play was headed, I was completely caught up in the action and brought to tears at the end—as the actors and the playwright nail the powerful denouement.

Meanwhile, down St. Petersburg way, a new avant-garde theatre company, Off Kilter, proves that non-traditional storytelling can create memorable images to evoke empathy in audiences.

The cringey Al Franken once joked that “it’s harder to be gay than Black, because you don’t

have to tell your parents that you’re black.” Gags are not great sociology, but it certainly seems true as each play begins. Unlike Jamal, the overachieving “American Son,” the young man at the center of “The Velocity of Gary (Not His Real Name)” is a troubled soul. Any white privilege that Gary had has been squandered. We don’t know much about his back story, but we do know that he’s currently a gay “hustler” in a leather jacket and a magic pair of leopard print briefs.

Director and sound designer, Derek Baxter, turns the limitations of the space to his advantage. He’s got black curtains, a few carefully placed white photographer’s lights on tripods and an oriental rug to define a postage stamp-sized stage. It’s packed like an attic with tons of colorful props that Hippie Griswold (Gary/Body) uses to create images for this episodic play which takes place “in the past, in the present, and in the infinity of Gary‘s mind.” Due to the close proximity of the audience and the need for COVID-19 caution, Gary’s voice becomes a gripping unseen omniscient narrator (a versatile, expressive Stephen C. Fox). Splitting Gary is an inspired choice, which frees Baxter to put the mute Griswold in a series of masks to great effect.

Gary (not his real name) follows a roller coaster life journey, like a LGBTQ Peer Gynt or Gulliver, with a naive, optimistic mantra of “anything can happen.” Eight episodes include a pinball arcade, Batman and Robin, vampires and Ponce de Leon, addiction and AIDS, selling plasma, phone sex, cocaine and instant breakfast, a strobe pacifier necklace, glow sticks, a touching tea party with a black-haired Barbie sporting yellow platform heels, and a hardworking cutout of Michelangelo’s David who ends as a touching avatar for Gary’s chosen bohemian family. It’s a marvelous pop culture kaleidoscope about “love, struggle, heartbreak, losing yourself,” and ultimately, “finding yourself.” If you don’t know Patsy Cline’s “I Fall to Pieces,” be sure to listen before you go.

“American Son” runs through March 28 at Stageworks Theatre in downtown Tampa. “The Velocity of Gary (Not His Real Name)” runs through march 21 within Off Kilter Theatre at The MAR in St. Petersburg. Links to more information and tickets are available via cltampa. com/magazine.

cltampa.com | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | 27

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Chasing Kerouac

A dozen miles in the Beat Generation icon’s shoes.

By Amanda Hagood Rolling down the Pinellas Trail, we hang a left on 22nd Street, into the heart of what was once St. Pete’s bustling Black businesses district. Our next site is the Manhattan Casino, St. Pete’s famous stop on what was once called the Chitlin’ Circuit—a network of clubs across the segregated South where Black performers were welcomed. Kerouac went to shows at the Manhattan, and liked hanging out with (and occasionally playing the ukulele alongside) musician Ronny Lowe, whose interracial band The Dominoes was one of the first acts to break the local color barrier. Jack loved jazz, the rhythms of which punctuate his prose, and intensely missed the music scenes of his former homes in San Francisco and New York.

He found another sustaining connection here.

We ride back up the street, weave through easy traffic on Central and find ourselves at Haslam’s, St. Pete’s oldest bookstore and one of Kerouac’s favorite haunts (in every sense). Just as the living writer spent hours there, reading in his favorite corner, his ghost is now said to wander its linoleum labyrinth. In both incarnations, the story goes, Jack liked rearranging the book displays so that his titles were just a little more prominent. Though the store is currently closed—and has been since the pandemic started—it feels like we have reached a center of sorts, a deep spot of quiet where a troubled soul could rest.

CITY WILDS

origins. Taking it in, you can feel him losing his bearings here: to buy the house, he had to sell priceless letters from Allen Ginsburg and other Beats, and once here, he was known to spend hours on late night, long-distance calls to old friends and connections. This house had ghosts, long before its occupants died.

But you can also feel some hope.

After decades of vacancy, the house was purchased last year by Ken and Gina Burchenal, who are working to preserve it, and Kerouac’s St. Pete legacy, in perpetuity. In the afternoon sun, the current tenant is livening up the porch with rows of potted plants. Even in what was then the quiet town of St. Pete, Kerouac could not escape the shadows that assailed his mind and swamped his work. But there was meaning as well as madness in his struggle. I like how Murray puts it: “He sought peace here. He wasn’t always successful in finding it; but his searching was genuine.”

As for our search, riding back through the streets we share with Kerouac’s ghost, I recall the intricate mural, “King’s Dream Unite,” which we admired earlier on the north wall of the Manhattan. Artist Ya La’Ford’s overlapping lines reminded me of an old city map, streets spinning out and filling in as new neighborhoods grow. La’Ford speaks of the importance of connections in her work, and the mural makes a powerful statement against the backdrop of the go-like-hell interstate that slices the sky beyond it, and which changed this neighborhood profoundly. I think this is what we were really searching for today: the city on a human scale, knit together into some kind of meaning by an aching heart and a feverish brain. A mile—or more like 12—in Kerouac’s shoes.

CITYOFSTPETE/FLICKR

I

n 1958, Jane Jacobs, an enduring critic of urban renewal schemes, boldly claimed that people give life to a city—“and it is to them, not buildings, that we must fit our plans.” On a sundrenched, breezy morning, I watch this premise come to life on St. Petersburg’s First Avenue S. Determined joggers cut through empty parking lots. Brunchers bunch and disperse on sidewalks. The park across the street becomes a sun spa, a fishing hole, or a nature trail, depending on who you watch. Metropolitans fill the street like a living stream, and along with two companions and our bikes (fixie, vintage Schwinn, and fancy electric), I am about to jump in. We are riding in search of an erstwhile St. Petersburger called Jack Kerouac, who would’ve celebrated his 99th birthday on March 12.

We are not the first to make this journey.

Hundreds of pilgrims have come to St. Pete before to pay homage to this icon of the Beat Generation, author of “On the Road” and “The Dharma Bums.” They visit his favorite hangout, Flamingo Sports Bar, where the novelist is lovingly immortalized both in the decor and in the memories of owner Dale Nichols, who struck up a friendship with him in 1967. They trek out to the home on 10th Avenue N where Jack spent the last years of his life with his mother and wife, writing, drinking, and—if reports are to be believed—watching Walter Kronkite with the volume down while Handel’s “Messiah” blared along in the background. And they know he died of drink just a few miles away at St. Anthony’s Hospital, on Oct. 21, 1969, at the tragic age of 47.

But maybe there’s more to this tale—or at least Margaret Murray, Associate Curator of Public Programs at St. Pete’s Museum of Fine Arts, thinks so. For her graduate thesis at Savannah College of Art and Design, Murray researched and created a bike tour based on the author’s life in St. Pete, adding new stops and new dimensions to Kerouac’s St. Pete story.

Following her lead, local nonprofit The Friends of Jack Kerouac now looks to revive the tour, making it a regular offering for Kerouac fans or anyone interested in a new way of seeing the city.

Which is why I’m now shivering in the shadow of Al Lang Stadium, the first stop on a test run of sorts for the tour. Together with the Tampa Bay Times building just a few blocks away (our second stop), this site speaks to another side of Kerouac—the lifelong sports fan, who went to Columbia on a football scholarship. Jack enjoyed watching spring training in downtown St. Pete and playing out his own fantasy baseball leagues. He even covered a few baseball stories for the St. Petersburg Times.

Life is picking up along Central, dinners and shoppers lounging and promenading in the warming sun. An ancient roadster, tricked out with homemade Mad-Max-style armor, zooms ferociously up the street.

Now we face the dilemma of how to navigate the 40 or so blocks that lie between us and Kerouac’s house. We rule out First Avenue N, with its arterial traffic and big box stores: here be dragons. Instead, we poke along Central and cut north through a neighborhood of low-slung, boxy ranch style houses, some painted in gorgeous tropical colors, many trimmed with pretty gardens or whimsical yard art. As we edge to the left to turn onto Ninth Avenue N, my pulse begins to thump. This is a busy road. We have reached the edge of the neighborhood where— ane Jacobs again—“distance and convenience set in” and “the small and the various and the personal wither away.” Cars woosh by, coating us in exhaust. To be fair, this seems a fitting dilemma for a Kerouac quest, given that Jack did not drive. He was famously reliant on others to get from place to place and, as Murray pointed out to me, many of his St. Pete friendships were driven (so to speak) by a need for wheels as well as companionship.We form a tight knot and take over the right lane.

Before too long, we have arrived: an ordinary, brick-trimmed house on an ordinary, tree-lined street in Disston Heights. Though not all neighbors welcomed the “big city” beatnik, Jack liked the low ceilings and air-conditioned splendor of his St. Pete house, conducive as they were to holing up and working—which he did. In the four years he spent in St. Pete, Kerouac sweated out two novels; one of them, “Satori In Paris,” poignantly, was about his own search for his

VISIONS OF JACK: Kerouac’s ghost is said to wander this iconic bookstore’s linoleum labyrinth.

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Bananas

Tom Brady and the band are staying together.

By Carter Brantley Gronk’s deal is for one year, $10 million, but the Bucs are using those weird voidable years again, spreading Gronk’s cap hit over four years.

Following the Gronk and Shaq signings, the Bucs probably have around $4 million left in cap space, but who knows what that number could actually turn out to be, with their recent wizardry with the cap. Now the team can turn their attention elsewhere, with other free agents such as Ndamokung Suh, Leonard Fournette, and Ryan Succop, just to name a few, all still up in the air as of press time.

Succop is one of my favorite players from last year’s Super Bowl run, as he solidified the kicking position and didn’t manage to lose any games for the Bucs. The last time the Bucs let a solid kicker go, it didn’t exactly turn out very well. Remember that Matt Bryant curse?

It would be smart to avoid letting that happen again. I don’t think the Bucs are stupid.

SPORTS

TB12’s end game Brady—a 43-year-old human-shaped collection of Icelandic elderberries in a Tampa Bay Bucs uniform—is known for his stringent and unorthodox health routines, so it really should come as no surprise that he does not consume fruit the same way as all us plebes.

In a recent TikTok video, the GOAT revealed to his fans a behind the scenes look at his daily “morning routine,” which seems to mostly revolve around shilling an arsenal of TB12 products, and showcasing

luxury watches and sunglasses he currently has partnerships with.

But, without a doubt, the best part of this clip is when he reveals what he puts into his morning shake. As you can see in the video posted to cltampa.com/magazine, Brady’s liquified food contains plenty of the usual suspects—chia seeds, blueberries, some kind of TB12 powder, electrolytes and, of course, bananas with the ends ripped off for some reason.

“I don’t eat the ends. Don’t tell anyone,” Brady joked. Surely, this is fine.

Of course, there’s no wrong way to eat a banana. My toddler eats a banana by holding it like a watermelon slice and biting it directly in the middle.

But there are just too many questions that stem from eating a banana in this manner. For example, what’s in these banana ends? How does Brady eat a banana in a non-shake situation? Does he still rip the ends off? Is this normal?

What competitive edge does a double circumcised banana contain?

I suppose only Brady knows, and that’s how you win seven Super Bowls, kids.—Colin Wolf

“Only Brady knows, and that’s how you win seven Super Bowls, kids.”

NICOLE ABBETT

M

an, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are going to keep using and abusing those voidable years.

Last Friday, Tom Brady went on Twitter to say he signed a one-year extension with the Bucs, allowing him to pursue that goal of playing until he’s 45 years old, which would give him the title of “oldest starting quarterback ever.” The deal includes three additional voidable years, a move that allows the Bucs to get back under the cap. The Bucs were about $7.75 million over the cap following Chris Godwin getting franchise tagged on March 9.

The move to keep Brady is the second time the Bucs used voidable years to try to fix their rough cap situation this offseason; Lavonte David signed a two-year extension worth $25 million last week, but will only count against the cap for $3.5 million due to using three voidable years.

In case you forgot, “voidable years” basically work like this: A player’s cap hit is a total of their annual salary and their signing bonus.

Their signing bonus is usually spread out over the duration of the years they actually play on whatever team they’re signed with, but the voidable years method—used in recent years by the Saints and Eagles, who are now feeling the awful effects of abusing it, much like a hangover—allows teams to stretch a player’s signing bonus, and thus their salary cap hit, over several years, even if the player isn’t still on the roster.

Another domino on the roster fell on Monday, March 15 when elite pass rusher Shaq Barrett re-signed to try and repeat as Super Bowl champ after inking a four-year, $72 million deal, with $36 million guaranteed.

Another less notable signing the Bucs took care of over the last week was re-signing linebacker Kevin Minter to a one-year deal, according to NFL Network’s Tom Pelissero, giving the Bucs another year of solid linebacker depth and a great special teams guy.

And after (jokingly?) saying he was testing free agency star tight end Rob Gronkowski became the second important Buccaneer resigning on Monday afternoon. Gronk, as expected, is returning to Tampa Bay to keep playing with his good friend TB12. No receiver in Brady’s career has caught more touchdowns from the GOAT than Gronk. The two will continue their bromance, and probably those awkward weekly Twitter videos on the Bucs’ account.

While Gronk’s is another important deal that had to be made for the Bucs to continue their quest to repeat, Tampa Bay can't be done.

Tampa Bay has too much invested in these next couple seasons to let the next couple of years get ruined because they couldn’t manage to hold onto Succop. They might let Suh and Fournette go and try to replace them both in the draft, but good kickers are hard to come by. Hopefully the Bucs realize that.

For now, let’s celebrate the fact that the Bucs will still have Shaq and Jason Pierre-Paul tormenting offensive lines and quarterbacks for the next year—plus Gronk to keep us smiling, too.

IF YOU CAN’T BLEAT ‘EM: You’d be stupid to not want to be on a team with the GOAT.

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Stir crazy

‘Crazy Samurai 400 vs. 1’ is just one of the four best movies you can stream at home right now.

By John W. Allman

The Devil Below ★★★½ 88 minutes, streaming Imagine if John Carpenter had directed “C.H.U.D.” from a script co-written by Neil Marshall, and that should be enough to whet your appetite for the goodness in store with “The Devil Below.”

Typically, the big news here would be that “The Devil Below” represents a giant leap forward in both craftsmanship and visual effects work by director Bradley Parker, particularly since his first feature, 2012’s “Chernobyl Diaries,” was less than stellar (in my opinion).

But “The Devil Below” exceeds even the most conservative expectations. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that Parker’s film is the closest we’ve gotten to a proper Carpenter film since 1994’s “In the Mouth of Madness.”

The story is simple, but not simplistic. A group of friends venture deep into the Appalachian Mountains in search of an urban legend, the lost town of Shookum Hills, which was reportedly abandoned following a massive fire in the enclave’s coal mine. Of course, there’s more to the legend. A lot more. And maybe not everyone fled Shookum Hills. Maybe some stayed out of a sense of responsibility and purpose, to protect the outside world from the truth lurking deep down in the mine shafts. The characters are solid, and actually have some surprising depth, more so than what horror fans might expect from a creature feature.

But what matters more is the film’s propulsive energy. It doesn’t waste any time. It doesn’t meander. It rockets along until the third act when Parker goes on a batshit-crazy descent into madness starting at about the one-hour mark.

There are shades of “The Descent,” an homage to “Nightbreed,” even a tip of the hat to “Aliens.”

And while “The Devil Below” might not reach the fevered heights and nerve-shredding tension of those all-time classics, it does a damn good job distinguishing itself as a must-see marquee title.

The Stylist ★★★½ 105 minutes, streaming Not for nothing, Jill Gevargizian’s “The Stylist” may be one of the most unsettling, uncomfortable viewing experiences you’ve had in quite some time, in large part due to a masterful turn by Najarra Townsend in the titular role.

Townsend, who wowed horror fans with her fearless performance in 2013’s exceptional “Contracted,” plays Claire, a painfully awkward introvert, who finds herself becoming obsessed with the picture-perfect lives of her salon clients, so much so that she routinely drugs them, scalps them and keeps their hair (skull cap and all) on display in her secret space to try on as she fantasizes becoming them.

As serial killer thrillers go, Gevargizian, who co-wrote the script based on her own short

Dementer ★★★ 80 minutes, streaming Speaking of unsettling, look no further than the sophomore feature from writer-director Chad Crawford Kinkle, whose “Dementer” marks a fantastic return seven years after his debut, “Jug Face.”

Katie (Katie Groshong) is trying to put her life back together after escaping a dangerous cult led by the enigmatic Larry (genre icon Larry Fessenden), but she can’t shake the visions that torment her even after finding work as a caregiver at a rural special-needs adult group home. Kinkle does a marvelous job creating and sustaining a sense of impending dread and doom as Katie slowly spirals deeper into the dark truths that she tried to lock away. He shows viewers the insidious ways that someone like Larry can attach themselves to vulnerable people and quietly overwrite their fragile psyches, overwhelming their ability to discern between right and wrong and good and evil, until they become puppets even when they believe themselves to be free.

Crazy Samurai 400 vs. 1 ★★★ 91 minutes, streaming and Blu-Ray There’s been a ton of buzz around director Yûji Shimomura’s “Crazy Samurai 400 vs. 1,” in large part because of the no-edit, single-shot, 77-minute sword battle that makes up the bulk of the film’s run time. And, yes, it’s pretty fucking amazing not only to watch but to consider the degree of planning, staging and execution that goes into creating something that looks so seamless and organic. That’s the good news.

The downside to the hype, if there is one, is that even a single-shot epic sword battle can become monotonous and exhausting, if only because Shimomura eschews any over-the-top flourishes, choosing to keep the extended fight firmly rooted in realism. Fans of wild action epics like “John Wick” and “The Raid: Redemption” may find themselves longing for a WOW moment, or a crazy unexpected burst of aerial acrobatics, or even a few gore-drenched arterial sprays from a severed limb or head. Sadly, there are none.

In fact, there’s very little blood at all in “Crazy Samurai 400 vs. 1,” which is sure to surprise many viewers.

As an exercise in filmmaking prowess, Shimomura plants his flag and basically dares other directors to do it better. As an unhinged celebration of calamity and carnage, however, it falls short of being an all-time great.

FILM & TV

WELL GO USA

V

accinations are on the rise in Florida where a total of 32,959 people have died from the virus.

Locally, as of Monday, state data showed that in Hillsborough County, 225,151 people are vaccinated (200,608 in Pinellas). Still, the Tampa Bay Times says coronavirus cases that led to a hospitalization increased by 54 admissions, but added that “In Tampa Bay, about 24 percent of hospital beds and 23 percent of ICU beds were available.”

We’re not sure how you feel about going to the movies quite yet, so here’s a roundup of the best stuff you can stream while you sit on the couch with your hands in your pants. Read more—including whether or not “Coming To America 2” is worth the rental—via cltampa.com/magazine.

film from 2016, keeps viewers guessing even as Claire quickly spirals out of control once she’s tapped by Olivia (Brea Grant) to style her bridal party. With a healthy balance of gore and social commentary, “The Stylist” is one of those movies that sneaks up on you and refuses to let go.

SAMURAI, I AM: There’s been a ton of buzz around director Yûji Shimomura’s latest.

cltampa.com | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | 33

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A Clearwater Usonian-style house is still for sale.

By Colin Wolf

A

home designed by one of Frank Lloyd Wright’s protégés is still on the market in Clearwater.

Located at 1622 Sunnybrook Ln., this 4,422 square-foot gem was built in 1961 and was inspired

by Wright’s Usonian homes, which usually were L-shaped to fit around a garden terrace, and often featured a car port, flat roofs and large cantilevered overhangs. The homes were also considered to be the origin of America’s ranchstyle home boom of the 1950s. Arguably the best local example of this is Wright’s Usonian House, located at Florida Southern College in Lakeland.

This particular Usonian-style home was designed by architect Joseph Louis McClung,

a student of Wright who was responsible for a number of similar homes in the area, and a few notable Tampa Bay buildings, including the nearby St. John’s Episcopal Church. The McClung home comes with five bedrooms and four-and-half bathrooms, as well as multiple terraces, restored floors, two dens, an office, an art studio, a Koi pond, a fourcar carport, a safe room, a handball court, and a 66-panel solar system. The home is currently asking $1,100,000 (cash only, as is) and the listing agent is Martie Lieberman of Premier Sotheby’s. See more of the home via cltampa. com/magazine.

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Class in session

Palladium Theater awards nine ‘Creative Class’ members a $2,500 stipend.

By Eric Snider

LOCAL MUSIC

STEVE SPLANE/WUSF

I

t’s been a year in which musicians have endured dough. The Hough Family Foundation and Smith unimaginable stress, strife, statis, frustration & Associates Real Estate teamed to fund the projand financial woe. A few local venues and arts ect. All of the money went directly to the musicians. institutions—while shouldering similar burdens— Because the bucks were raised privately, have gone above and beyond to get musicians on Wilborn was under no obligation to open the process to the public or put out a request for proposals. stage and put money in their pockets.

To that end, the Palladium in St. Petersburg “It’s not tax dollars,” he says. “I can think of 10 deserves a round of applause for its inaugural other artists I could include right now. I do plan Creative Class 2021. Nine Tampa Bay acts received to open it up to applications next year.” a $2,500 stipend each to By selecting the recipients develop or refine a project to be in-house, the Palladium was performed at the venue. And able to streamline the prowhat’s more, the Palladium is cess, eliminate red tape and also paying the artists their get the money into the musiJeremy Carter’s Soul of Jazz requisite performance fee. So cians’ pockets quickly, without Friday, March 19. 8 p.m. $25 the Creative Class money is undue fuss. mypalladium.org earmarked for what it should Wilborn feels confident be: creation—of a new work, of advancing exist- that he’ll have the resources to fund a Creative ing works, implementation of new media, and Class for at least the next 10 years. other purposes.

At this point, the Creative Class perfor“There really are no strings attached,” says mances are slated for live streaming. In October, Palladium executive director Paul Wilborn of the the Palladium reopened for a successful string of stipends. “We just want them to produce a great socially distanced live concerts, but when coronashow. They don’t have to get approvals from us for virus numbers spiked the following month, ticket their work. They don’t have to show me receipts. sales stalled, safety concerns intensified and the I trust these people as artists to bring me some- venue canceled the dates. Wilborn says that he thing [valuable].” hopes that the pandemic will continue its downPalladium Class 2021 consists of artists who ward trend and he can transition some of the gigs perform regularly at The Palladium. They are to live shows. He’s also considering a hybrid concept jazz trumpeter James Suggs, jazz/R&B saxo- where a small number of tickets go on sale—say a phonist Jeremy Carter, jazz guitarist Nate Najar, hundred—which will supply an audience for the jazz trio La Lucha (pianist John O’Leary, bassist stream as well as generate extra revenue.

Alejandro Arenas and drummer Mark Feinman), blues singer/guitarist Damon Fowler, experimental Saxophonist Carter was one of the acts who musician Elizabeth Baker, dancer Helen Hansen had the plug pulled by the venue late last year.

French, dancer Lauren Ree Slonen and Jeremy He was set to perform with his quintet, Rubber Douglass, leader of Bjorkestra, a large pop collec- Band, a jazz unit with a decided R&B bent that tive that produces sophisticated tribute concerts. he founded in 2019. Previously, Carter had delivThe Palladium website has a review of the artists’ ered sold-out, all-acoustic jazz concerts at the plans for their stipends.

Palladium—themed tributes to legends John “I felt strongly that the first round should go Coltrane and Michael Brecker, a program called to folks who are Palladium veterans, part of our “The Soul of Jazz,” as well as playing his own family, if you will,” Wilborn tells Creative Loafing material. The postponed concert, which was later Tampa Bay. “They’re great ticket sellers for us. recorded, streams at 8 p.m. March 19.

They’re some of the best performers in the area.

“I’m grateful, obviously,” Carter says of being It was important to me to extend a hand to them.” part of the initial Creative Class. “I’ve been a The Palladium—owned by St. Petersburg member of the [Palladium] family for a number College but a self-sustaining entity—does not of years, and I think I bring in a slightly more have many loose dollars lying around, so in order diverse crowd. It’s gratifying to have their finanto make the initiative happen, it had to raise the cial backing for Rubber Band.”

SOUL, SURVIVING: For Jeremy Carter, applying for unemployment benefits became a maelstrom of fits and starts and general confusion.

Yes, the $2,500 matters. Carter has been a professional musician, with no day job, for 15 years. His COVID-19 story is all too familiar. “The music scene here for my type of work is seasonal, and I was having a very good one last year,” the 41-year-old—who lives with his wife, Beth Carter, an elementary school teacher, and eight-year-old son in St. Petersburg—told CL. “I was also in the midst of this great artistic period where I was exploring different things. Overnight, the gigs stopped, and the money that comes along with it.”

Carter says that applying for unemployment benefits became something of a full-time job, a maelstrom of fits and starts and general confusion. The end result: He was deemed ineligible.

And he never found out why. The saxophonist, who as an independent contractor should qualify for federal aid, has not ruled out appealing the ruling, because, he says, “I’m still not back on my feet.”

By now, everyone knows that livestream concerts basically suck, right? Over the last year, we’ve watched too many no-budget performances with shitty sound and visuals to think otherwise. And if the stream didn’t outright suck, and even if the performance itself was particularly good, it still left plenty to be desired.

Wilborn and the Palladium have made a concerted effort to offer a counter-narrative.

“Our shows look like the old ‘MTV Unplugged,’” he says. “We use four cameras, with really good lenses, ProTools sound. We brought in guys to help train our crew. Plus, we use a great streaming service called Mandolin. It’s all fucking top-notch, man.”

The Palladium charges $25 for streaming access, which might at first seem on the exorbitant side, but Wilborn reminds that the fee generally covers two or more viewers. “Some in our audience, which tends to be older, don’t want to come to live shows at this point, and some of them have gotten used to the streaming and prefer it,” Wilborn contends. Selling 100-150 streams is the break-even number for most shows, he adds, and the venue has thus far reached that threshold pretty consistently.

On Friday, March 6, I viewed a stream of a fine, intimate set by the Palladium Chamber Players: Mile-End Trio. And Wilborn is right.

The production is fucking top-notch.

He and I also agreed that nothing can replace the connection and kinesis of a live performance.

Soon, let’s hope.

cltampa.com | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | 37

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Sweater, weathered

Zach D’Onofrio seeks redemption in new season of ‘Idol.’

By Deborah Bostock-Kelley first time and didn’t the second time, what am I doing? It was scarier in a way. I didn’t want to mess up the audition.”

Last Sunday night, D’Onofrio played “Golden Slumbers” on the piano before being joined by Turner who played guitar while she and Zach worked through Harry Styles’ “Falling.”

All three judges gave D’Onofrio a yes, with Perry adding that he was like a turtle. “But the turtle wins the race,” Perry added.

Richie, for his part, put it even more directly. “What we need from you right now is to come out of your shell.”

Though you will see D’Onofrio and other contestants without a mask on TV, they were all tested for coronavirus every other day, and the mask is only removed when the singer walks into the audition. “It was all very safe. The judges are six feet apart, and you are really far away from them, and overall,

LOCAL MUSIC

Who would have thought that I’d be a junior in a high school then a sophomore in college—It’s kind of strange how this keeps connecting my life to the show, no matter which part I’m in.

I’m just thankful for the show and happy that they want to show me on TV,” D’Onofrio added.

He said that everyone in college is supportive, and his teachers ask weekly what episode he is in. The president of the school reached out, and she’ll be watching his audition, too. “A lot of people here are in support of me, which is a really cool feeling,” D’Onofrio said.

He realizes the importance of being a role model for younger kids watching his journey.

To the young people inspired to audition, he offered sage words of advice: “Keep being yourself. Throughout this whole experience, I never let it change me. I know ‘American Idol; doesn’t happen to everyone, but for any situation, no matter—don’t let it change you and who you are.”

When asked if we get to see Catie screaming when he comes out with a golden ticket, Zach replied, “Well, I guess you’ll have to tune in to see that. I’m hoping…”

“The first time, I felt like I was scared of everything.”

ABC/CHRISTOPHER WILLARD

T

hree years ago, on March 11, Zach D’Onofrio’s life changed. The bespectacled, endearing 17-year-old Wiregrass Ranch high school student and quirky sock collector stole Katy Perry and America’s heart with his unexpected deep croon on “American Idol.”

Though he won the golden ticket, his appearance on the show was short-lived. He was eliminated from the competition in Los Angeles during “Hollywood Week.” Now D’Onofrio is back on “Idol,” a more confident, relaxed, and experienced singer, ready to see just how far he can go.

“Last year, I was a freshman at USF studying Biomedical Sciences, so nothing in relation to singing at all. This past school year, I made the switch to Florida Southern College, studying music management,” D’Onofrio told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “I really wanted to stick with music and give ‘Idol’ another shot. I always knew I would. The producers in the past said, ‘Once you’re 19, you should audition again.’

I thought ‘I’m 19, why not?’ and I sent in a video online. I wanted to prove to myself that I could still be with music.”

In his Zoom audition, D’Onofrio’s incredible voice was accompanied by actual instruments since Zach is now also a musician. He sang “No Fire” by S. Grant Parker while playing the ukulele and played the piano while singing “Places We Won’t Walk” by Bruno Major. D’Onofrio didn’t hear back immediately, and with a full, hectic college schedule, he forgot he applied. About three months later, he got his acceptance notification. “Once I got that email, I got to work right away practicing,” he said.

Now a college sophomore, D’Onofrio, with his girlfriend, fellow 2018 contestant Catie Turner in tow, headed to Ojai, California for live auditions. Although he was already experienced performing for judges Lionel Richie, Luke Bryan, and Perry, he felt more pressure to show he’s grown as an artist.

“The first time, I felt like I was scared of everything. Now I’m more relaxed, confident, and happy to be in the music industry doing what I’m doing. I’m just happy I stuck with music and didn’t become a doctor. I am a Certified Nursing Assistant now, and that’s a cool backup, but it’s just not my passion,” he said.

“Back then, I wasn’t confident to sing on the stage with instruments, but now I’ve grown to be able to sing and play at the same time and feel confident with that. It actually made me feel more comfortable. I knew what to expect, but I didn’t want to miss making it through this time because that would show that I haven’t grown,” D’Onofrio explained. “If I made it through the

everything is really distanced. You can only have one guest this time. Last time, it didn’t matter how many people you had, and this time, Catie is my guest,” he said.

And you’ll want to look for more than his quirky socks when D’Onofrio returns to primetime. He now also has a collection of favorite sweaters (an interesting hobby since he does live and go to school in humid, sweltering Florida). “I’ve switched from socks to sweaters. I don’t know what it is about them. Even though Florida is terrible with heat, I still wear sweaters. I have my bestlooking sweaters with me at all the auditions.

From socks to sweaters, that’s kind of my style,” D’Onofrio said.

Though he’d hoped to watch with his Wiregrass Ranch High School alumni, the pandemic altered that plan. Instead, on Sunday night, D’Onofrio will be with his family watching the show. He said his life permanently changed the moment his face appeared on living room screens across America.

“I became known as ‘American Idol’ kid or the kid with the socks. It was such a cool experience.

TURTLE, NEXT: Katy Perry suggested that Zach D’Onofrio could be the one who wins the ‘American Idol’ race.

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THANK YOU, JESUS: Florida Gospel Choir plays Gasparilla Music Festival on March 7, 2020.

YSANNE TAYLOR/GASPARILLA MUSIC FESTIVAL

Hallelujah

Gasparilla Music Festival is rescheduled for October.

By Ray Roa

D

owntown Tampa’s Gasparilla Music Festival (GMF) is officially rescheduled for October in Curtis Hixon Park. Exact dates are to be announced, but it’ll include a third day, Friday to go along with Saturday and Sunday concerts.

Executive Director David Cox told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that should the current trajectory continue, the GMF team—which intentionally worked to not get ahead of itself so that it didn’t have to backtrack on any new dates—sees October as a busy month not just locally, but with music festivals happening around the U.S. Early bird tickets for Gasparilla Music Festival 2021 go on sale in April or May, and Cox said the festival could have a lineup before summer’s end.

What’s more is that GMF 2022 is still on for March 11-12.

“The team here at GMF has been resolute that we will do everything in our power to bring back our festival as soon as it is possible to do

so. If we can make it happen in 2021, then taking the whole year off was not an option,” Cox wrote in an email. “So many of our team members, vendors, artists, stagehands, and other supporting crew members have had their livelihoods eliminated over the past year.”

A year ago, GMF 2020 was quite literally the last big music festival to happen in Tampa Bay, maybe even Florida and the country at large.

To kick off the festival, Dr. Kevin Parrot of the Florida Gospel Choir said, “No more sickness, no more heartache and no more pain… I know we got the coronavirus, and I know we’re not shaking hands, but the human touch is so important.

So I want you to look at the person beside you, and tell them, ‘I’m going to be OK.’” The festival—headlined on Saturday by Brandi Carlile and on Sunday by Portugal.

The Man—gave Tampa Bay a break from the weird world we were all living in. Big Freedia threw down downtown Tampa’s most

MUSIC NEWS

twerkalicious dance party ever. The Nude Party boys Farfisa’d our faces off, and De la Soul brought out Talib Kweli to help fill in for Trugoy. The local music slate, per usual, was a gorgeous collection of the best and brightest who call Tampa Bay home.

Collectively, everyone on those grounds had no clue how weird, awful, estranged and confused coronavirus, lockdowns and the dissolution of the Trump presidency would still have us feeling 12 months later.

So last week’s news was a welcome respite from *gestures at the entire world.* With seven months until the festival—and CDC guidelines expected to change—the exact best practices and COVID-19 protocol at GMF 2021 are still unknown, so Cox didn’t have anything specific to mention outside of the fact that every stage at the festival will also be livestreamed.

“We want to make sure that anyone with health concerns can still participate,” Cox added.

Because of my previous role assisting with social media at GMF from 2013-2016 I’ve known Cox for years and had many intimate conversations with him. I’ve also never heard him offer up any kind of prayers for anything, but he was tossing them up in his comments about the reschedule.

“We pray that GMF 2021 will not only be a return to life where live music rattles downtown Tampa for a few days, but that it will also be a weekend where everyone from our ticket taker to the drummer on the amphitheater stage can celebrate a return of our local music and arts scene and their livelihoods,” Cox added. “October is happening! God willing, and the creek don’t rise.”

The status of GMF 2021 first came into question when the Gasparilla day parade announced a postponement, which eventually became a cancelation. After the postponement, Cox told CL his festival’s intention “as always would be to take place after the Gasparilla Invasion and related festivities.”

With the announcement of 2021 dates, the team behind GMF, which built the festival with a grassroots, all-hands-on-deck effort, achieves a huge goal, which making it 10 years.

“Since we’ve started, dozens of festivals in Florida have come and gone, so to make it 10 years and continue to grow year by year is a huge source of pride for everyone at GMF,” Cox said. “We’ve been talking about plans for the 10 year celebration since 2019. But now that we are here, our bigger motivation is just getting everyone in our industry back to work. If we can do that in some fashion, that will make our 10th year a huge success.”

cltampa.com | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | 41

42 | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | cltampa.com

THU MARCH 18 – WED MARCH 24

C Designated Safe And Sound Venue On Tuesday, state coronavirus and COVID-19 data said that in Hillsborough County, 229,678 people have been vaccinated (205,196 in Pinellas). The Bay area also added 906 cases and 35 deaths on Tuesday, according to analysis from the Tampa Bay Times. Hillsborough County led the region with 397 new cases of the coronavirus reported Tuesday (Pinellas had 142 cases), and while those numbers are encouraging, Hillsborough’s 9.2% positivity rate is well above the World Health Organization suggestion of 5% or lower (Pinellas’ rate is 5.2%). Still, the live local music scene is picking itself up. We’ve marked the gigs at venues that have joined a Tampabased and city-recognized “Safe & Sound” initiative that pledges to strictly enforce limited capacity, mask wearing and social distancing—and tried our best to explain COVID-19 protocols at venues that not able to join Tampa’s “Safe & Sound” program. Find links and more information about these concerts via cltampa.com/magazine.

FRI 19

Blackout-Techno Black Light Party: Eye Awake w/Robby Bell/S.I.D./Sky Armada Marquee DTSP, one of St. Petersburg’s newest event spaces, is holding a Blackout-Techno Black Light Party with DJs Eye Awake, Robby Bell, S.I.D.and Sky Armada. Hopefully there will be some energy drinks on hand because the event, located at 350 1st Ave. N, lasts until 6 a.m. Free glow sticks will be given out, and the event boasts lasers and LED blacklight cannons creating a “...sensory overload to set the scene for this wild journey until the daylight hours.” Hopefully that wild journey includes of some sort of COVID-19 protocol (Creative Loafing Tampa Bay reached out to organizers to confirm and will update this post online with any news). Whatever the protocols, there is a free breakfast served at 3 a.m., so though you may not be totally safe from COVID-19, you’ll get a free donut or something. (Marquee DTSP, St. Petersburg) The Florida Orchestra Mahaffey Theater plays host to multiple Florida Orchestra events this weekend, including trumpeter Robert Smith performing Haydn’s “Trumpet Concerto” during Saturday and Sunday performances of Beethoven’s “Symphony Number 1.” If rhythm is more of your style check out the TFO Percussion performances, which TFO Principal Percussionist John Shaw says “show what our arsenal of instruments is capable of all on our own (with the help of a few friends).” From military-style drumming to a harp and marimba performance combo, the show will be “unlike anything TFO has ever performed before.”

And yes, you still have to wear a mask plus

adhere to all of the other COVID-19 protocols set in place by the ensemble. (Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg) C Opera Tampa Socially-distended performances of “Troubadour’s Tale” happen twice daily all weekend starting Friday outside the Straz Center in downtown Tampa.

The “...abridged take on Verdi’s ‘Il Trovatore’ promises blood-and-thunder drama soaked in revenge and regret with the hopes of everlasting love,” according to promo materials, and though most of Florida seems to think the pandemic is over, the Straz is continuing its COVID-19 protocols which includes a mask requirement, temperature check and lots of sanitizing. The 65-minute show has no intermission, so use the bathroom prior or wear a diaper. Tickets are sold by tables of two, three or four, so grab a friend or three (if you have that many friends, lucky you).

(Riverwalk Stage at David A. Straz Center for the Performing Arts, Tampa)

SAT 20

Jazz Under the Starz: Saxsantional Sonata After reopening following the COVID19 shutdown, Arlene Brooks, owner of Coffee Speaks N Tea Talks, moved the coffeehouse’s music events outside resulting in “Jazz Under the Starz.” For Saturday’s “Saxsantional Sonata” performance, socially-distanced tables are set up in a New Tampa office parking lot (near a Keller Williams office) to safely watch musicians on the saxophone, clarinet, keyboard, violin and steel drums. Even though the all-ages event is outside—with kids 12 and under getting in free—masks are still required.

(18302 Highwoods Preserve Parkway, Tampa) C Shuffle 3-year anniversary w/Katara Trio/Tribal Style/Sunsetters/Will Quinlan/ Josh Reilly/The Melan Sea/Dj Wally Rios This Best of the Bay-winning vagina-forward bar’s anniversary is naturally during Women’s History Month, and a no-cover all-day party starts with a “Shufflea” market at noon. The celebration continues with an outside concert featuring a multi-genre who’s who of the Tampa Bay music scene. After a day of popup vendors, music starts at 4 p.m. with rapper Mike Mass, fusion outfit Katara Trio, reggae scene totem Tribal Style, beach bar favorite Sunsetters, Americana hero Will Quinlan, songwriter Josh Reilly, The Melan Sea (“Cello,guitar and bass, free to float wherever the waters take them”), and DJ Wally Rios on the backyard stage. Owners Danielle O’Connor and Jennifer Evanchyk should not just be celebrated for running a small business in normal times, but also for staying afloat during pandemic days. As detailed on p. 23, over the last three years, Shuffle supported local veterans, provided a stage for both up-and-coming and established musicians and artists. Over the last year Shuffle even started proverbially fighting anti-mask asshats, too. Like always, shuffleboard will be

Khalea Lynee

JASON SMITH (@ARAPPERWITHACAMERA)

By Stephanie Powers

available to play throughout the event; just keep your tangs up, don’t walk on the courts and wear a mask. The Safe and Sound event states, “For the safety of all our patrons, musicians and staff, masks are required when not eating, drinking, performing or seated.”

If you have a problem with that, stay home.

(Shuffle, Tampa)

SUN 21

Carl Thomas w/Khalea Lynee/The Beatdown Band Clearwater’s Khalea Lynee, who showed the world what she’s got on season 19 of “The Voice,” is opening for Bad Boy Entertainment vet Carl Thomas. Lynee made it through the blind audition portion of the reality show, getting picked by coach John Legend. Though Lynee didn’t make it past the battle rounds, she’s still out here—most

recently showing off her skills with the February single “This Love.” Thomas, best known for his 1999 single “I Wish” headlines the Sunday show with The Beat Down Band also on the bill. (SD Banquet Hall, Tampa) Thunderpony w/Rob Bello A Miami DJ with no relation to Thundercat steps in for a Sunday session at iconic Tampa nightclub Hyde Park Cafe. Resident DJ at Miami’s Club Space, the Bogota-born Thunderpony brings his house stylings to the Platt Street venue for an early show (checkout “Thundercast #5” with samples of Michael Jackson’s “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough”). As far as COVID19 protocols go, there is a mask requirement and it’s a “limited-capacity open air event.”

Tampa’s Rob Bello opens the show with a pre and post party happening across the street at The Treehouse. And yes, there will be $20 bottomless mimosas. (Hyde Park Cafe, Tampa)

cltampa.com | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | 43

44 | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | cltampa.com

The phone job

person I want to marry but I feel like I’m settling sexually. Please help.—Becoming Annoyed Now About Lovemaking

A male friend—not my best friend but a close one—told me his wife was really attracted to me, another male, and asked if I was attracted to her. His wife is an incredibly hot woman and I thought it was a trick question. I read your column and listen to the “Savage Lovecast,” Dan, so I know there are guys out there who want other men to sleep with their wives, of course, but I didn’t want to risk offending this friend by saying “FUCK YEAH” too quickly. After he convinced me it wasn’t a trick, I told him that of course I wanted to have sex with his wife. She’s incredibly beautiful and a really great person. I told him was that I not at the least bit bisexual and not into MMF threesomes and he told me he wouldn’t even be there. He just wanted to hear all the details later—and hear them from me, not her.

I’ve slept with his wife four times since and the sex we’ve been having is phenomenal for both of us. But the talks I have afterwards with my friend make me uncomfortable. We’ve gotten on the phone later in the day or the next day and I give him the details and insult him a little, which he likes, and honestly none of that is the problem. What makes me uncomfortable is that I can hear him beating off during these phone calls. Which makes me feel like I’m having phone sex with a guy. I’m not comfortable with this and I feel like our friendship has become sexualized in a way that just feels unnatural for me. The one time we met in person to talk after I fucked his wife he was visibly aroused throughout our entire conversation. I would like to keep fucking my friend’s wife and she wants to keep fucking me but I don’t want to talk with my friend about it afterwards. Shouldn’t it be enough for him to just know I’m fucking her?—Distressed Aussie Chafes Under Cringe Kink P.S. This is his thing, not hers. She loves having sex with me but the calls to her husband don’t do anything for her.

It’s obviously not enough for him to know you’re fucking his wife. If that was enough for him, DACUCK, he wouldn’t want to get on the phone with afterwards.

This is a consent question. If your friend consents to his wife having sex with other men on the condition that he hears about it afterwards—and hears about it from those other men—that condition has to be met for the sex she’s having with other men to be consensual. And while the calls afterwards aren’t a turn-on for his wife, DACUCK, if those calls make it possible for her to sleep with other men and she enjoys doing that, well then, the calls actually are doing something for her, too. You’re not obligated to have these conversations with your friend if they make you

uncomfortable—because of course you’re not— but if you were to refuse, DACUCK, then your friend might withdraw his consent for you to fuck his wife. Your friend and his wife might be willing to revise these conditions just for you, DACUCKS, so it couldn’t hurt to ask. But if he says no you don’t get to fuck his wife anymore, or if he says no and his wife keeps fucking you, well then, she’d be cheating on him for real and not “cheating” on him for fun.

Zooming out for a second: you knew this was a turn-on for your friend before you fucked his wife. You knew he was a cuckold, which means you knew he would be getting off on you fucking his wife, DACUCK, which means you knew he’d be out there somewhere beating off about you and your dick. Even if he didn’t want to hear from you directly afterwards, even if he was pumping the wife for the details, your friendship was sexualized pretty much from the moment he asked you to fuck his wife and you agreed.

So the problem isn’t the sexualization of this friendship or the awareness that this dude is out there beating off about you. The problem is having to listen to him beat off when you get on the phone—or having to see him become visibly aroused when you meet up in person— and there’s a pretty easy workaround for that.

(I love a solvable problem!) Instead of giving him a call after you’ve fucked his wife, use the voice memo app on your phone to record a long, detailed, insult-strewn message after you’ve fucked his wife and send it him. You’ll still get to fuck his wife, he’ll still get to hear about it from you, and you won’t have to listen to him doing what you damn well knew he’d be doing after you fucked his wife, i.e. furiously beating off about you.

I’m a 20-something hetero female living in the South. I’m having trouble with my boyfriend of almost three years. We are very happy together but our sex life is lackluster. The really strange part is that the sex, when we have it, is always good.

It’s intense and satisfying. However, getting sex to happen is a challenge. My boyfriend has a lower libido but it’s not a huge discrepancy. I want sex two-to-three times per week and he wants it maybe once per week. We have compromised on twice a week. However, the sex is routine and banal.

It always happens on the same days—Sundays and Wednesdays—and there’s no spontaneity at all, which makes it boring for me. In addition, my boyfriend never initiates. He has a history of being promiscuous—he slept with about 100 women before we were together—and I am completely fine with that. But he has admitted to me that he misses his promiscuous life and that monogamy is difficult for him. He says he loves me and that he wants to make this work. He is the

The sex, when you have it, is intense and satisfying… but routine and banal at the same time because there’s no spontaneity. The obvious answer is obvious: If having sex at the same time and in the same place is ruining the intense and satisfying sex you’re having, BANAL, maybe don’t always have sex at the same time or in the same place? And since you’re the initiator and that’s unlikely to change—turning a cheater into a faithful partner is easier than turning a non-initiator into an initiator—that means you’re in charge of the when and the where. You’ve already compromised on having sex twice a week, which is your low-end preference and double his preference (so you got the better end of that deal), and now all you gotta do is initiate sex on different days, at different times, and in different places.

Easy-peasy.

SAVAGE LOVE

JOE NEWTON

By Dan Savage

Now for the non-obvious answer, BANAL: You need to listen to what your boyfriend is telling you. Monogamy is difficult for everyone, not just your boyfriend, but some people find it more difficult than others. And asking someone who finds monogamy extremely difficult to make a monogamous commitment… yeah, that’s not a great plan. This isn’t entirely on you; someone whose libido tanks when they’re in a monogamous relationship and/or someone who’s way more interested in sex when they’re free to sleep around shouldn’t be making monogamous commitments. Or not making them yet. Monogamy might not be right for your boyfriend at the moment, BANAL, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be right for him ever. Just like sex you have to schedule might not be right for you now, while in your mid-twenties, but that doesn’t mean scheduled/routine/maintenance sex won’t be right for you ever.

Contact mail@savagelove.net, follow @ FakeDanSavage on Twitter and bookmark savagelovecast.com.

cltampa.com | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | 45

46 | MARCH 18 - MARCH 24, 2021 | cltampa.com

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