Creative Loafing Tampa — February 10, 2022

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PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf STAFF WRITER Justin Garcia FOOD and THEATER CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge FILM & TV CRITIC John Allman

I had to take my mirror and other fragile things off the wall.

IN-HOUSE WITCH Caroline DeBruhl CONTRIBUTORS Josh Bradley, Kyla Fields, Alexandria Jones, Dan Savage

ory

PHOTOGRAPHERS Caesar Carbajal, Dave Decker

stion ................. 5 tory

EDITORIAL INTERNS Brandalynn Nuñez

Cepeda, Sofia García Vargas

Interstate expansion in Tampa Heights is so loud that it’s shaking the neighborhood, p. 13.

Apply summer via rroa@cltampa.com SeaWorld in for February, animal rights claiming the practice of keeping wild Spatafora CREATIVE DIRECTOR Jack d dangerous.

But even though public ILLUSTRATORS Joe Newton, Dan Perkins, atmany SeaWorld animal rights don’t in seeFebruary, a parallel between the kind Cory Robinson , claiming the practice of keepinganimals wild k and the practice of displaying ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES nd dangerous. even though public asking forSENIOR tooBut much?

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Or is it time for a EVENTS DIRECTOR ent” animals? Alexis Quinn Chamberlain

MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS COORDINATOR Lauren Caplinger

Music: Tampa Bay Blues Fest ........................... 40

MEDIA GROUP 42 Music Week EUCLID ...................................................

CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Andrew Zelman CHIEF OPERATING OFFICERS Music ...................................................

The ListWeek ..........................................................

46 Chris Keating, Michael Wagner42 Concert review: Artic Monkeys ..........................

42 VPreviews OF DIGITAL SERVICES Stacy Volhein Movie .....................................................

63 OPERATIONS COORDINATOR TheDIGITAL List Astrology ..........................................................

Free Will .........................................46 64 Jaime Monzon Movie ........................................................... reviews..................................................... 63 Puzzler 66 Music: Tampa Fest ...........................

Concert review:Bay ArticBlues Monkeys ..........................40 42

euclidmediagroup.com

Free Will Astrology......................................... 64 Savage Love ...................................................... 69

cltampa.com Puzzler ...........................................................

66

cldeals.com Savage Love ......................................................

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EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa is a publication covering public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum.

They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

Creative Loafing Tampa is published by Tampa Weekly, LLC, 204 E. Henderson Ave., Tampa, FL, 33602.

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Psychology of cruelty, poverty, classism on stage in St. Pete, p. 37.

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ou like Cuban sandwiches, but what about Cuban soil? Now that we have your attention, make plans to visit HCC Ybor’s Gallery 114 where Cuban-born Florida-based artist Lilian Garcia-Roig’s “Hyphenated Nature” uses landscape painting (including pigments she made from soil) as a vehicle for examining notions like sense of place, belonging, and identity in both perceptually-based plein-air paintings and conceptually-based studio works.

It’s on display until Feb. 24, but that’s not all that’s happening at the HCC galleries.

A 10-minute drive away at HCC Dale Mabry’s Gallery 221—and up through March 3—is the Woodson African American Museum of Florida’s “Reverberations” travelling Exhibition featuring emerging and established Black artists who live and work in Tampa Bay and across the Southeastern United States. Lilian Garcia-Roig: Hyphenated Nature. Reception Thursday, Feb. 17, 5 p.m.-8 p.m. Gallery114 @ HCC Ybor City Campus. Ybor City Performing Arts Building, 1411 E 11th Ave., Ybor City. hccfl.edu Mayday It’s a busy, busy spring for St. Petersburg’s news theater company, and the season truly kicks off on Feb. 10 with Michael Horn’s one-man performance of Bill DeYoung’s harrowing, based on a true story, play about a 1980 tragedy that sent six cars, a pickup and Greyhound bus into Tampa Bay, killing 35. Freighter pilot John Lerro was consumed by guilt in the years after the accident—all the way up to his death in 2002, and the play finds Horn working through

much of the painful dialogue taken verbatim from Lerro’s court testimony, media interviews and personal correspondence. Mayday: Captain Lerro and the Skyway Bridge. Fridays, 7:30 p.m. and Sundays, 3 p.m. Continues through Feb. 27. $35. Studio Grand Central & The OffCentral Players. 2260 1st Ave. S, St. Petersburg. studiograndcentral.com Cuban Pathways A trip to downtown Tampa’s history center is baseline for anyone who seriously calls the Bay area home, and on Firday it opens “Cuban Pathways,” an exhibition that tackles the complicated history of Cubans who’ve crossed back and forth between the Caribbean nation and Florida over the last half century.

A two-hour Zoom course from USF’s Osher Lifelong Learning Institute happens on Feb. 16. Tampa Bay History Center. 801 Water St., Tampa. tampabayhistorycenter.org Localtopia 9 It’s back. St. Petersburg’s Williams Park and surrounding streets will be packed with thousands of people on Saturday thanks to Localtopia. Founders told the St. Pete Catalyst that 30,000 attended in 2020, adding that hundreds of vendors, makers and musicians are on the agenda for this weekend. And your friend with the Let’s Go Brandon shirt is gonna love this, but masks are not required. Saturday, Feb. 20, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Williams Park, 350 2nd Ave. N, St. Petersburg. Free to attend. keepsaintpetersburglocal.org

LILIAN GARCIA-ROIG

OUR NATURE: Lilian Garcia-Roig, Fluid Perceptions: Banyan Triptych, 2017.

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Let him go

By Justin Garcia

Around 60 people made the trek to Coleman Penitentiary last Sunday, about an hour north of Tampa, to demand the release of Indigenous activist Leonard Peltier. They prayed, sang and demanded the release of the 77-year-old, who caught COVID-19 in prison more than a week ago. They want Peltier, who has pre-existing health conditions, to be released to receive proper care at a hospital outside of the prison.

Members of the Florida Indigenous Alliance and the Seminole Tribe of Florida

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spoke about the unjust nature of Peltier’s 1977 trial , which is internationally recognized as one of the most corrupt court proceedings in American history. They called on the crowd to demand to the U.S. government that he be released. President Biden has the power to release Peltier based on overwhelming evidence of his innocence, but has followed suit of every other president and chosen not to.

Read the full report and see more photos via cltampa.com/slideshows.

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“Tampa is going to be a thoroughfare for the suburbs.”

POLITICS

ISSUES

OPINION

What’s shakin’?

Neighborhood literally rattled by I-275 expansion.

By Justin Garcia

T

Reuben P. Bryant can see the top of the pile driver from the back door of his house on Floribraska, where he’s lived for five-and-ahalf years.

Over the time he’s lived there, he’s used his renovation skills to rebuild the place and fought for a streetlight at Floribraska and N Elmore Avenue because of the accidents that would occur regularly and spill into his property, putting his life in danger. “I’ve put my blood and sweat into this place to get it to where it’s at,” Bryant said.

DRIVE ME CRAZY: Ruben P. Bryant points at a pile driver being used by FDOT. “But when I heard the noise coming from the interstate, my eyes got wide, because I wondered what will happen to me financially.”

Bryant is a renovation and real estate professional, and after fixing up the mother-in-law suite out back of his house, he rents it to Airbnb guests. And he’s currently renting out the main house to his friend while he lives and works on a renovation in St. Pete. He comes back to the house on Floribraska regularly to upgrade the place and make it nice for those who visit.

Bryant said a guest from AirBnb recently left a review, complaining about the noise.

“Depending on how long this construction goes on, how loud it is, and how close that interstate

weeks, nearby homes and businesses should expect noise, vibration, and at times lighting impacts. These impacts are unavoidable as heavy machinery will be used to reconstruct the overpasses at Floribraska Avenue, Lake Avenue, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard, Chelsea Street, Osborne Avenue, and Hillsborough Avenue as part of the I-275 Capacity Improvements project.”

“The $85.3 million project is adding one lane in each direction to I-275 from north of I-4 to the north of Hillsborough Avenue (US 92) using the department’s existing right-ofway. This project is expected to finish in early 2026,” FDOT continued.

Shane Ragiel, who lives just feet away from I-275, moved to the neighborhood five years ago, right around the time FDOT’s original TBX interstate widening proposal had been thwarted by activists in the community. He thought his home was safe, but now the office that he works from in his house was wracked with the noise from the pile driver today, making it difficult for him to do his work. He’s the former President of the Tampa Heights Civic Association and considers himself well informed, but says he didn’t receive a notice on his door about the construction like some of his neighbors did.

“It’s not a good surprise to find out that this is happening,” Ragiel said. He also said that he couldn’t believe that FDOT is following through with interstate expansion plans from the ‘90s.

“The concept of, ‘More people come. Road get big’-type of thinking just seems really antiquated,” Ragiel said. “Especially when you have a majority of the county that voted for more public transit.”

He’s referring to a voter-supported pennyon-the-dollar sales tax that was approved by Hillsborough County for transit improvements, only to be struck down by the Florida Supreme Court as unconstitutional last year. Now, the future for Ragiel and his husband as homeowners are uncertain as FDOT continues a plan that they don’t agree with.

He says that in his worst case scenario, he worries about issues with the foundation of their house and structural issues as the construction shakes it and the interstate coats it with debris.

He worries that it will get worse when the lanes get closer to their home. “With the interstates, we just keep on doing this over and over again,” Ragiel said. “If it keeps up this way, eventually, Tampa is not going to be what it is now. Tampa is going to be a thoroughfare for the suburbs.”

LOCAL NEWS

JUSTIN GARCIA

he gigantic pile driving crane at I-275 and Floribraska Avenue makes a sharp, powerful sound that cuts through the neighborhood.

Each time the pile driver slams into the ground, the noise wreaks havoc on unprotected ear drums. Blocks away, the shrill pounding of the machine can still be heard. But closer to it, neighbors can literally feel the effects of the machine.

“I had to take my mirror and other fragile things off the wall because it was shaking so bad I thought they might fall,” said Camellia Simmons, who rents at Urban South Apartments, just east of the interstate and across the street from the construction.

Traditional pile drivers like the one being used on I-275 are essentially giant hammers, and are used to insert large columns, called “piles” into the earth. These form the foundations of many large structures like overpasses and tall buildings.

According to Echo Barrier, a company that specializes in noise management, pile driving is one of the loudest construction activities, coming in at 120 decibels from 10 feet away, or roughly equivalent to the noise level of a gunshot or aircraft takeoff. The sound can stretch for thousands of feet, fading as it moves further away from its origin.

Simmons and other neighbors have had to make adjustments as the Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT) widens the Floribraska overpass using the pile driver, as part of a $85 million project to add a lane in each direction to I-275 throughout the city of Tampa. The project is expected to last until 2026.

On Jan. 28, FDOT announced that it would begin construction on the project starting this week from 7 a.m.-4 p.m. The pile driving noise started three days later.

Simmons’ neighbor, Tay Parham said that she’s lucky that she wakes up early anyways, so the sounds don’t disrupt her sleep. But during the daytime hours when the construction is taking place, she has to make adjustments.

“We have kids here and it’s really loud for them, so we have crank up the TV when it starts up,” Parham told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. On the other side of I-275, the effects are also felt.

wall comes as the lanes expand, I could be in trouble,” Bryant said. “This new lanes project isn’t for the people of this city. It’s so others can drive through here a few minutes faster, but who knows if that’s true once it’s actually built.”

Time and again, experts have pointed out that widening highways does not reduce congestion, especially in a rapidly growing city like Tampa. Some experts have pointed out that the construction actually makes traffic worse. This is due to the Fundamental Law of Road Congestion, which says that creating more roads instead of prioritizing other forms of transportation only increases the amount of drivers, which the road construction cannot keep up with.

Despite the lack of evidence for interstate expansion being effective, FDOT continues its interstate construction, which has a history of harming people of color in Tampa and across the country.

But it’s not just renters and homeowners feeling the impact of the interstate construction. Across the street from Bryant’s house is King State cafe. Employees there said they’ve had to close the doors and turn up the music to avoid the sounds coming from the construction.

When CL reached out to FDOT for comment on the complaints in the area, it sent the press release it issued on Friday as a response. In regards to the pile driving work, FDOT wrote, “Over the coming

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Don’t front

Data leak reveals TPD officer’s stepson as member of neo-Nazi group.

By Colin Wolf

O

n Jan. 21, the journalist collective Unicorn Riot leaked archived chats from the white supremacist organization Patriot Front, a rebrand of the neo-Nazi group Vanguard America, which attended the violent “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville. According to the chats, one Patriot Front member and organizer, Calvin Stow-Ortiz, appears as “Arthur FL,” and is a student at Florida State University, as well as the stepson of Tampa Police Department officer Antonio Ortiz-Saldana.

The Tampa Police Department confirmed to Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that OrtizSaldana is currently employed, but did not specify if they were aware of his stepson’s involvement with the hate group. “The Tampa Police Department does not condone any organization or group that believes in hateful ideology. Ortiz-Saldana is a respected Detective with no significant disciplinary history,” said Public Safety Information Coordinator Jamel Lanee. CL also left a voicemail for OrtizSaldana, but he did not call back.

Stow-Ortiz was easily identified after he essentially doxxed himself through the metadata of a Word document. The document was sent to Patriot Front leader Thomas Rousseau, and outlined lyrics for a “marching song” Stow-Ortiz hoped the group would adopt at future gatherings.

In other chats, the “Arthur FL” account claimed to have participated in and helped organize multiple Patriot Front events, including a Georgia run where “we hit Bainbridge, Thomasville, then Valdosta” with propaganda, and a Nov. 20 training session in Tallahassee to prepare for the Dec. 4 “Reclaim America” march in Washington D.C., where he was then assigned to “shield duty.”

The messages also show that Stow-Ortiz hoped to participate in upcoming banner drops, and said that he plans on “absolutely destroying

the Tampa-St. Pete area,” with the group’s neoNazi propaganda. One chat reveals the hate group has renovated a house in the Tampa area where multiple members currently live. Though it’s unclear how involved Stow-Ortiz was with that particular project.

These messages, as well as others doxxing members of the group were archived by the Atlanta Antifascsist group. The authenticity of data was later verified by Rousseau during a podcast hosted by neo-Nazi Joseph Jordan on Jan. 28. On the show, Rousseau downplayed the importance of the leaks, and took responsibility for exposing the identities of his members.

“They do these things to inspire paranoia and hysteria, right.

They want you to be afraid,” said Rousseau.

According to the Southern Poverty Law Center, Patriot Front often calls for the formation of a white ethno state, and is “explicit in its exclusion of people of color from its conception of pan-European identity.”

Over the past year, Patriot Front members have committed multiple acts of racist vandalism. In June, 2021, Patriot Front vandalized a George Floyd statue in Brooklyn, New York, and in October destroyed an Arthur Ashe mural in Richmond, Virginia.

Florida has seen a recent uptick in hate group activity. Recently, the National Socialist Movement, a neo-Nazi group whose leader is based in Florida, organized multiple demonstrations in Orlando, which sparked swift outrage from local leaders.

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis did not directly condemn the hate group, instead he referred to them as “some jackasses.” On Jan. 5 at least six historically Black universities around the country were evacuated, including Bethune-Cookman University in Daytona Beach, after a neo-Nazi group called in bomb threats.

LOCAL NEWS

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Get out

Denying renters a bill of rights is bullshit, and an insult to the poor.

By Justin Garcia

A

What’s more is that council passed the first reading of the tenant’s bill of rights almost unanimously on Jan. 13, with only Miranda dissenting.

But something happened between January and yesterday’s meeting—something influential enough to turn the tide against basic renters rights.

Via email, I asked the councilmen who voted no if they’ve been approached by landlords between this week’s reading and January’s; the email also asked if they were homeowners or have ever been housing insecure or homeless.

None responded to those specific questions.

But during Thursday’s council meeting, city staff said they had been “in contact with the Bay Area Apartment Association,” a landlord group

OPINION

JUSTIN GARCIA

s I watched four Tampa City Council members vote no last week on an ordinance that would have supported renter’s rights, I wondered if any of them had ever been housing insecure, or homeless. I wondered if they had ever scrounged in trash cans as kids to find food. If they had watched people close to them suffer and starve. If they had ever tried to get a decent night’s sleep on park benches, under bridges, and in abandoned houses.

I was homeless as a teenager, so I couldn’t help but ask myself if these councilmen had any idea what it’s like.

I felt my spine tense up as John Dingfelder, Charlie Miranda, Bill Carlson and Joseph Citro voted no after just seven-minutes and 20-seconds discussion over the second reading of Tampa’s “Tenant’s Bill of Rights.”

The ordinance would have called on Tampa landlords to provide tenants with a notice of their housing rights and a list of tenant assistance resources, should they so need them. And just like a nearly identical resolution Hillsborough County commissioners passed 5-1 last year, the city’s bill would have also prohibited landlords from discriminating against renters who use Section 8 vouchers. The assistance is most often used by low-income families, disabled and elderly people—the most vulnerable of Tampa’s residents. The government support is often the barrier between those vulnerable people and homelessness.

Over the past year, the path to homelessness in the Tampa area has been laid bare as rents skyrocket and landlords file evictions in Hillsborough County. Clerk of court records show that 9,079 evictions were filed over the past year, 6,067 of which have reached writ of possession status—when the law shows up and removes the poor from shelter. These are not just numbers. These are living, breathing human beings.

They’re our neighbors being pushed to the edge of existence as the COVID-19 pandemic has ravaged Florida for the past two years.

Support for the growing homeless population can’t keep up with the new homeless hitting unforgiving streets. The situation is so dire that city council members have many times have referred to it as a “crisis”. Yet, as their self-declared crisis rages around them, four council members couldn’t find it in their hearts to say that renters—who make up about 44% of the population of this city—should have an ordinance stating their basic rights.

Even prisoners of war have basic rights like food, water and shelter. Is it really too much to ask that renters have a clear edict on what their rights are?

council vote stripped away an opportunity to support the vulnerable people on housing assistance in Tampa.

“Everyone has a right to vote their conscience, and I thought the resolution was the right thing to pass, for tenants and landlords,” Council Chair Orlando Gudes—who voted yes for the bill of rights along with Guido Maniscalco—told me during a phone call. “But other councilmen felt differently, and that’s something we have to live with.”

When I asked what could have happened over the past month to make the vote flipped so drastically Gudes said, “I have no comment about that.”

But councilman Luis Viera, who was absent for the vote and told me he was surprised by his colleagues’ decisions, said he believes the door isn’t closed on the ordinance. “I will make a motion next Thursday to have this issue come up again before council promptly so that we can at the

REAL LIFE: Belongings sit outside of a Tampa apartment unit where tenants were being evicted. who had asked questions about the ordinance.

Public records also show that city council received an email from a local attorney at Paralaw Services, saying, among other things, “The city needs to stay out of private rental contracts. I have personal experience with this sort of thing and the unsuspecting landlords get shafted by the professional tenant.” The email did not explain how basic renters rights might somehow lead to landlords getting the shaft.

As the Tampa Bay Times pointed out in a story about Hillsborough County’s passing of the renter’s bill of rights, housing assistance is often the last step between having a roof over your head and survival mode. Last week’s

very least, reach common ground on a reformed tenant’s bill of rights that a majority of members can get behind,” he said in a text that he later made public. “We cannot leave this moral issue in our rearview mirror.”

Viera said that the message this voting this ordinance sends to renters is “not a good one” and “it is not consistent with the hearts, I believe, of council members.”

He said that the city is facing a crisis for many apartment dwellers and renters in marginalized communities. Viera said he was not there to vote Thursday because he was handling a judicial investiture for a friend.

Dingfelder’s argument against the resolution was based on not inconveniencing landlords; he

“While homeless against your will, it’s easy to feel crushingly alone, even in a crowd.”

also thinks it’s unrealistic to even symbolically support basic renters rights.

On Jan. 13, when the first reading of the resolution passed, he argued that “mom and pop” landlords could be affected by it, saying it would be a pain for them to have to notify renters of their rights upon signing a lease. Still, he “reluctantly” voted yes. Last week, he said he didn’t want to pass something that looks like city council is doing something when they aren’t.

“I think it’s a fiction,” Dingfelder said. “And I don’t like to operate in a fictional world. Because at the end of the day, no landlord has to abide by the rules and regulations of HUD and the housing department and take on Section 8.”

Carlson told me that he initially aligned with Dingfelder on the vote because of his concerns about the ordinance. He said that it is council’s duty to pass legislation that will be effective and that will be implemented to accomplish the goal. “Obviously we need to bring back a revised ordinance and I expect that it will pass,” Carlson added.

Miranda rambled about how he can’t control the cost of eggs and neither can the president.

County Commissioner Kimberly Overman said that the identical county ordinance is not a work of fiction, as Dingfelder claimed, and in fact has been helpful in assisting families in need at the county level. “Parents that are at risk of losing their kids because they don’t have stable housing, that’s not symbolic, that’s a family crisis,” Overman told me.

Overman said the county reached out to the Bay Area Apartment Association which operates many rentals in the county; landlords were advised on the ordinance, and provided with the tenant’s rights paperwork. “They notify their tenants like they’re supposed to, according to the rules, and we have less of a problem as a consequence of it,” Overman said. “I don’t see why the city would frame this as some sort of fictional issue, unless they just didn’t plan on enforcing it at all. And it’s not like the landlords lose anything, they still get paid by the government assistance programs.”

She said she was “highly disappointed” with her city council colleagues, because many of the multi-family units in the county are located in Tampa city limits. Council’s resistance to the ordinance only hurts the vulnerable.

While Dingfelder referred to the idea of protecting at-risk people and families with government assistance as fictional, the crisis of homelessness is in fact very real.

While homeless against your will, it’s easy to feel crushingly alone, even in a crowd. The psychological and physical suffering are so intense that you want to turn to anything that quiets the pain. It’s no wonder that so many people turn to drugs after they become homeless.

It is a situation that can only truly be communicated through experience. It has to be felt.

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | 17

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18 | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | cltampa.com

Staying power

Landlord reverses evictions, won’t say if agreement is legally binding.

By Justin Garcia

A

fter serving several tenants eviction notices on New Year’s Eve, Palm Communities LLC now says that they can stay. The company also says it plans on continuing to fix the drinking water problem on the property, after it was reported that the tenant water was full of sand.

However, the property management team did not confirm that anything has been secured in writing between the landlords and tenants.

In a letter sent to Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, Palm Communities said it was hired in November 2021 to manage Holly Court Apartments and has spent over $60,000 on making improvements, including working on the water problem. And now, they’re saying residents can stay. The company had originally served several residents with notices saying they’d have to vacate the property by Jan. 31.

“With the generous partnership of the University Area Community Development Corporation, all residents whose [lease] nonrenewals expired have been offered temporary housing, and we have offered for them to return to the property at their original contract rental rates once the tap water connection is complete,” Palm communities wrote.

But to the question of whether or not any of this was in writing between the tenants and management, Palm Communities said, “we cannot comment on further questions.”

The University Area Community Development Corporation also hasn’t responded to a request for comment yet.

Palm Communities also did not answer the question of if the tenants paid rent while living with sand in their water during the month of December, but several residents have confirmed to CL that this was the case.

“We believe that Palm Communities originally had every intention of evicting tenants from the property,” said Bratton Young of the Tampa Tenants Union (TTU), who helped organize with the tenants on the property.

“This is because of the courage of the tenants banding together to fight eviction. It’s an enormous victory.”

In regards to the company not responding to questions about whether or not the deal was in writing Bratton Young said, “We consider their statement legally binding.”

When asked for a name behind the statement, Palm Communities said that they didn’t want to offer that because, “3 of our staff have received threats by phone from members of the public who read your coverage.” The company said the threats mentioned the property managers’ getting thrown out of their comfy houses and other menacing calls, but none of which mentioned explicit violence.

When CL asked if the callers identified our particular coverage as the reason they were receiving the calls, Palm Communities walked back their previous statement, saying, “No they did not specifically mention Creative Loafing.”

“While it has been reported that we issued ‘dozens of eviction notices,’ we gave 7 Notices of Non-Renewal to apartments with expired leases, and offered twice the time that State of Florida requires,” the company continued in their letter.

But when asked if the company was saying that more than seven people didn’t receive the documented notice that they needed to leave the property by the end of January, the company said they didn’t want to respond to that.

Read the full version of this story at cltampa. com/news.

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Mad beach

Last month, Frontier contractors spilled over 500,000 gallons of reclaimed water in Pinellas.

By Justin Garcia

L

ast month, contractors for Frontier Communications were named in several reclaimed water spill incidents, totaling over 500,000 gallons. The spills occurred when three different contractors working for Frontier hit water mains and released the water in mostly small amounts, except for a huge half-a-million gallon spill on Jan. 19.

Vertek LLC, while working for Frontier, hit an eight-inch water main causing it to break, Pinellas County reported to the Florida Department of Environmental Protection (FDEP).

The spill went on for four hours, from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. During that time, the water spilled and saturated the area before going into Boca Ciega Bay. Fortunately, the water was already treated reclaimed water (the kind people use to water their lawns) and was not sewage. However, this was just one of several water main breaks contractors for Frontier caused in January, costing the county money and disrupting service to customers.

According to FDEP’s spill map from the past 30 days, six spills occurred at the hands of three different Frontier contractors in the Madeira Beach area. The companies named on the FDEP website are: Vertek LLC, Conquest Engineering and MasTec engineering.

Kevin King, Senior Water Quality Management Specialist for Pinellas County, told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that the crews are installing fiber optic lines in the area.

All of the spills were caused by the contractors hitting reclaimed water mains during their work. Most were small in comparison to the large spill. The second largest was 3,056 gallons on reported on Jan. 17, and the third largest was 2,000 gallons, reported on Jan. 14. The six spills put together totaled 507,635 gallons.

CL reached out to Frontier Communications for input on why these spills occurred and what precautions are taken to avoid these water spills, but has not yet received a response. This post will be updated if one comes in.

After water main breaks like this, Pinellas County has to make repairs for its citizens, then try to recoup the money from companies later.

“We take photos and we estimate dollar amounts spent for the repairs, and then our risk management department ends up going after collecting the money back,” Jeremy Capes, Division Director of Water Quality and Data Management for Pinellas County told CL. “That can take anywhere from I would say months to years, depending on dollar amount, and if it’s challenged by the company or not.”

Companies do challenge repair charges at times, Capes said, but it’s not the norm. Last year, the county also started naming the companies involved in the main breaks, and charging companies with FDEP fines assessed to the county for spills.

LOCAL NEWS

K.A/ADOBE

WHAT THE FIOS: Six Frontier spills put together totaled 507,635 gallon.

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | 21

22 | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | cltampa.com

Shit Happened THURSDAY 03

On the same day activists announce a ‘Rent Is Too Damn High’ protest, Tampa City Council shoots down the second reading to adopt a Renter’s Bill of Rights. Landlords are just over there sipping their tea.

After Democrats lost their traditional edge in voter registration in Florida, party leaders announce a $2.5 million effort to boost registration numbers before the November elections. Honestly, no amount of money could buy Florida Democrats the spine they need to win the important races.

TUESDAY 08

RAY ROA

MONDAY 07

Just days after announcing his retirement, Tom Brady goes on a podcast and says, “Never say never” when it comes to coming out of hibernation. Stop fucking with our emotions, man.

ZooTampa announces a slew of new adventures, including the return of a reimagined Stingray Bay. We’re not gonna tell the new stingrays what happened to the last batch that lived there.

Tampa Mayor Jane Castor surprises a few folks by selecting Mary O’Connor as police chief despite her 1995 batt LEO charge. Not gonna lie, we all felt for Butch Delgado, who’d been doing a damn good job as interim, at the press conference.

More shit, but with Supernatural’s bacon, egg and cheese brekkie sando on our keyboard, via cltampa.com/news.

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DINING GUIDES

Tampa-based multi roaster hosts its first pop-up in Seminole Heights.

By Kyla Fields

“H

ave you taken the time for yourself today?” It may be a simple question— but the founders of Tampa’s new multi roaster and specialty coffee pop-up Now and Then take it quite seriously. The phrase is designed to help you slow down in the morning and reflect a bit, perhaps when you’re making the first cup of the day.

Veteran baristas Davy Ball and Demi Chacón started fleshing out the ideas for their multi roaster pop-up just a few months ago.

Inspired by different cafes across the country they’ve frequented, years of experience in the industry, and just a serious, unadulterated love for good coffee— Ball and Chacón will host Now and Then’s soft opening starting at 10 a.m. on Feb. 12 at Seminole Heights’ Jug & Bottle Dept.

A multi roaster is a little different than your typical cafe. It’s the responsibility of a multi roaster to source coffee beans from all over the world and give their consumers information on where they’re from and what notes are highlighted. And Now and Then will be different from other multi roasters, due to the fact that it’s a mobile coffee cart that won’t be tied down to any particular location.

“One thing I noticed when I was traveling around the country is that every city has at least one multi roaster,” Chacón, who used to pour at St. Petersburg’s Bandit cafe, tells Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “We’re trying to bring coffees to Tampa that Tampa has never seen before—and we’re going to bring the wow factor.”

For now, Now and Then will feature two different specialty coffees on bar—a batch from a U.S.-based roaster and another from outside of the country. This weekend’s soft opening will feature the North Carolina-based Hex Coffee alongside beans all the way from Japan, provided

by Onibus Coffee. Alongside the two specialty pour over coffees and iced coffee on tap, the mobile Now and Then cart will also be equipped with a full espresso machine— although it won’t be delivered in time for next week’s debut. The Now and Then cart—which they’ve built themselves— resembles Commune + Co.’s mobile coffee stand, where Ball has worked for the past few years.

And although both Ball and Chacón acknowledge Tampa’s jumping roaster scene, they’re

going to stick with sourcing beans from outside the Bay area for now. They’re still committed to community-building with other folks in the business through their pop-ups and different types of collaborations.

But the caffeine-slinging mobile coffee cart is just one side of Now and Then. Giving folks great coffee and espresso is one thing, but Ball and Chacón also want to use their new platform to be extremely transparent about their business. “One of our goals is to become an educational platform to inform our consum-

consumers about the supply chain of the global coffee industry, Now and Then helps patrons make more informed decisions about what kind of coffee they buy, who they buy it from, and how much it’s actually worth.

When asked how this particular business model is sustainable, there was a slight pause before Ball replied “well… it’s not,” followed by laughter from him and his partner. Although their particular business model might not seem sustainable in a traditional sense, what’s more important is that the folks behind the beans are treated well, too.

“Cheap resources can sometimes be enticing for businesses because it can be more profitable for them, but with Now and Then we’re trying to think about the bigger picture and want to be sure everyone along the supply chain is being

THAT WAS THEN: Demi Chacón (L) and Davy Ball started fleshing out ideas for their multi roaster pop-up just a few months ago. ers,” Chacón says. “Not many people know just how many hands touch their coffee before it’s handed to them.”

They’ve already gotten a head start on the educational aspect, as this Now and Then Instagram post highlights the Hex Coffee beans that their new patrons can try at next week’s pop up. The post showcases the farmers that grew the beans—Ana & Nicolás Crespo of Azuay, Ecuador—as well as how long the beans were soaked for, what method was used to dry them, and even the specific elevation of where the beans were grown (1,700 meters above sea level to be exact.) By educating their

paid fairly, ‘’ Ball tells CL. “By being really intentional about the roasters we choose to work with, we can be sure that this is a sustainable business for not only us but as well as the producers that grow coffees around the world.”

There’s a fine line to toe between getting the highest scoring coffee for Now and Then customers, and making sure that everyone who helped get that latte in their hands are also treated fairly. And for folks that aren’t in on coffee lingo, high scoring coffee means that it is both good quality and its flavors are welldeveloped, so specific notes come through in a strong and bold way.

In terms of the price point for Now and Then’s different beverages, they will be comparable to other coffee shops in the Tampa Bay area. Latte and cappuccino prices will be pretty much locked in, but the rotating menu of specialty coffees will be more of a sliding scale price.

Now and Then will also be completely plantbased, stemming from both of their opinions about the environment—one of the many ways that Ball and Chacón’s values stand at the forefront of their business model. The only milk available for lattes and cappuccinos will be Minor Figures’ oat milk, simply because “it’s the best at highlighting the intricacies in coffee,” according to Ball.

A food component is also in the works, as Ball and Chacón are conducting some research in development in the Now and Then headquarters (aka their kitchen.) Since Ball works for Commune + Co., which also hosts popular doughnut pop-ups with Get Along, perhaps we may see a collaboration sometime in the future.

But for now, beans reigns supreme on the Now and Then menu.

You can also expect some sort of merchandise aspect at next week’s soft opening—most notably, t-shirts with their “Have you taken the time for yourself today?” slogan on it. Other merchandise that will be available at future pop ups (or for pre-order on their website) will include cupping spoons, stickers and other types of apparel. And with almost two decades of industry experience between the both of them, Ball and Chacón have learned a lot of lessons over the years that will be naturally applied to their first venture as business owners.

“Joel Davis is the coffee OG of Tampa, and I’ve learned a lot from watching him manage a business and go through the ups and downs of it all,” Ball says. “But at the end of the day, I just love that we have the opportunity to give someone a beverage that can ultimately turn their whole day around.”

Chacón—who’s professionally trained in Glittercat’s Barista Bootcamp and has ranked in national coffee competitions—mentions that this mobile version of Now and Then is only the beginning. Both Ball and Chacón see their business evolving into a brick-and-mortar multi roaster down the line. “Something that I’ve learned working at other shops is that when you are truly passionate and you pour your heart into something, people usually recognize that, ‘’ Chacón says. “ We want to support the community, and we think in return, they will support us—like a symbiotic relationship.”

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Brie mine

Valentine’s Day specials to know about in Tampa Bay.

By Alexandria Jones

V

Ciro’s Treat your special someone to a Valentine’s Day meal featuring a prix fixe fourcourse dinner at the tucked away Old Hollywood speakeasy. Feb. 14 5 p.m.-1 a.m. $110/person.

2109 Bayshore Blvd., Tampa, 813-251-0022. cirostampa.com Columbia Restaurant Make your reservations early for Feb. 11-14 for dishes like ostiones criollo, lubina “Pontevedra”, and bizcocho de chocolate con frescas. You’ll see why the restaurant has been around for a century. Various locations. columbiarestaurant.com Corazon Bar & Restaurant Hotel guests are treated to 2 bottles of Prosecco and chocolate covered strawberries. Their Valentine’s Day menu, which runs Feb. 11- Feb. 14, features lobster & crab ravioli and braised short rib; regular menu is also up for grabs. $12-$42. 325 N Florida Ave., Tampa, 813-616-1234. hyatt.com

DINING GUIDE Valentine's Day

C/O WILLA’S

alentine’s Day aka “Singles Awareness Day” is around the corner and reservations are being made to secure a spot at some of Tampa Bay’s best restaurants. Make this one your boo, bae, other half or whatever you call your significant others will never forget.

Acropolis Greek Taverna Celebrate Valentine’s Day early the Greek way. A special menu is available that night and enjoy live music and performances. Feb. 12 at 8 p.m. $25.

515 Central Ave., St. Petersburg, 727-518-5503. @dinegreekinstpete on Facebook American Social Spend the weekend with your girls or your Valentine looking out at waterfront views and find pleasure in their special menus, all-American eats, 30% off wine bottles and $25 bottles of Fleurs de Prairie. Feb. 12 at 9 p.m. and Feb. 14 11:30 a.m.-midnight. $75/ couple for Valentine’s Day 4-course menu. 601 S Harbour Island Blvd. Unit 107, Tampa, 813605-3333. americansocial.com Anchor & Brine Love is in the air at the waterfront restaurant (stop by for a good brunch too). Enjoy a three-course dinner while telling bae all the reasons you love them. $70 person.

11 a.m.-11 p.m. 505 Water St., Tampa, 813-2046391. anchorandbrine.com Bake’n Babes No one does elaborate shakes like Bake’n Babes. This month’s festive Freak Shakes are topped with everything from cotton candy, a vanilla cupcake, and soft serve ice cream. $20. Various locations. bakenbabes.com Bulla Gastrobar Make sure there’s enough room in your belly for a four-course pre-fixe dinner available Feb.11-14. An exclusive Valentine’s Day “Strawberry Crush ‘’ cocktail is on the menu; for each sold, $1 will be donated to the American Heart Association. Fri.-Sat. 11:30 a.m.-11 p.m., Sunday 11 a.m.-10 p.m., Monday 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m. $120 per couple. 930 S Howard Ave., Tampa, 813-773-8626. bullagastrobar.com Bootlegger’s Brewing Company A beginner’s cookie decorating class is true love indeed.

Class students receive 10% off the brewery’s draft beers. Feb. 12 noon-1:30 p.m. $40. 10256 Causeway Blvd., Tampa, 813-643-9433. tjscookiekitchen.com The Capital Grille A glass of champagne or a red from the International Plaza staple’s impressive wine list accompanies a dry aged NY strip or lobster mac. Feb. 11-14. Various locations. thecapitalgrille.com Casa Santo Stefano Three decadent courses to feed your sweetheart include vongole al forno, risotto di gamberetti aragosta.

It’ll feel just like nonna’s house. Available Feb. 11-14. $9-38. 11 a.m.-10 p.m. 1607 N 22nd St., Tampa, 813-248-1925. casasantostefano.com

13-14. $45-700. 3400 Gulf Blvd., St. Pete Beach, 844-338-1501. doncesar.com Élevage Feeling fancy? Get dressed up for a featured tasting menu and wine pairing. Regular dining menu available also. Reservations recommended. Feb. 11-14 5 p.m.-10 p.m. $100/person, optional $45 for wine pairing. 1207 S Howard Ave., Tampa, 813-999-8726. epicureanhotel.com Flan Factory Pre-order and pickup all the flan fan-favorites including guava, salted caramel, and arroz con leche no later than Feb. 13 (they’ll be closed on Feb. 14). $5 each. Sunday 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Wed.-Fri. 10 a.m.-8 p.m., and Saturday 9 a.m.-8 p.m. 1718 N Nebraska Ave., Tampa, 813-402-2400. flanfactorytampa.com Fleming’s Steakhouse & Prime Wine Bar Guests are welcomed to a memorable, intimate three-course dining experience available Feb.11-14. Online preorders for curbside pickup are live and delivery preorders start Feb. 11.

Reservations recommended. $90-245. 4 p.m.-9 p.m. 4322 W Boy Scout Blvd., Tampa, 813-8749463. flemingssteakhouse.com Florida Aquarium Sail through the bay on a Galentine’s Day sunset cruise or download

28 | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | cltampa.com

RAW EMOTION: Willa’s snapper crudo with espelette, watermelon radish, grapefruit supreme, pickled fennel & EVOO. Corner Club Shop at a Valentine’s Market while sipping on the spot’s food, beer, wine, and mocktails. Feb. 6 11 a.m.-4 p.m. 1502 E Sligh Ave., Tampa, 813-232-1482. @cornerclubtampa on Facebook The Don CeSar The iconic hotel spreads the love with various romantic experiences including a candlelight orchestra, sunset dinner cabana experience, and special coursed dinners at Maritana and Society Table. Feb.

warm and fuzzy V-Day cards with cute puns like “Owl always love you”. Name a Madagascar hissing cockroach after your ex during “Hiss & Tell” if you’re feeling petty. Free-$65. Sunset cruise is Feb. 13 6 p.m.-8 p.m., Hiss & Tell is Feb. 14 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m. 701 Channelside Dr., Tampa, 813-273-4000. flaquarium.org Hardee’s Add some razzle dazzle to your Valentine’s Day breakfast in bed with the BOGO deal for the all-new bacon beast biscuit

with heart-shaped biscuits. Various locations. hardees.com Haven A V-Day tasting menu that’ll make your head spin with an assortment of dishes.

Credit card is required per each tasting reservation. Feb 12 5 p.m.-10 p.m., Feb. 14 5 p.m.-9 p.m. $95/person with optional $50 wine pairings.

2208 W Morrison Ave., Tampa, 813-258-2233. haventampa.com Hew Parlor & Chophouse A romantic five-course prix fixe menu with a luxurious assortment of dishes. Reservations recommended. Feb. 11-12, Feb. 14 5 p.m.-9:30 p.m.. $222/couple. 453 Edgewater Dr., Dunedin, 727683-5990. fenwayhotel.com Hotel Haya Couples can take in views of Ybor City during a romantic date on Feb. 12-13 with a special brunch menu, which includes dishes like “Fresas con Crema,” “Beeting Hearts Baby,” “Heart Shaped Lox,” and a chocolate budino. Make the date a staycation by reserving the hotel’s romantic getaway package Feb. 13-28. 1412 E 7th Ave., Tampa, 813-568-1200. hotelhaya.com Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams The super flavorful ice cream brand with Tampa locations near Armature Works and at Sparkman’s Wharf released four Valentine’s Day collections that are perfect for a night in, including “Gimme Chocolate,” “A Date with the Couch.” jenis.com K Club Bar & Bistro A four-course prix fixe dinner with optional wine pairings as you look out at beautiful views of Feather Sound.

Reservations recommended. Feb. 11-14 5 p.m.-10 p.m. $69/person. 2675 Ulmerton Rd., Clearwater, 727-273-7850. thekarolhotel.com Keel & Curley Winery Delight in elegant four-course dinner for Valentine’s in the Vines, which includes a decadent dessert and a complimentary glass of your favorite K&C wine.

Sample the new raspberry rosé wine being released the same day. Reservations recommended. Feb. 14 4 p.m.-9 p.m. $60/person. 5210 Thonotosassa Rd., Plant City, 813-752-3892. keelfarms.com Kelp Sushi Joint Spend V-Day with your SO at a sushi cooking class and sake tasting.

Feb. 5-11 3 p.m.-9:30 p.m. $150 per couple ($75 non-refundable deposit). 6507 W Waters Ave., Tampa, 813-889-8898. @kelpsushi on Facebook Krispy Kreme For a limited time, four heart-shaped doughnuts are filled with decadent flavor combinations and feature the donut brand’s new Valentine’s Day mascots: an adorable bear and his best bee buddy. $14.99 for a dozen. Various locations. krispykreme.com Let It Be Ice Cream An all-inclusive ice cream social with live music from Marianne and The Professor. Feb. 14 4:30 p.m-9 p.m. 3127 Beach Blvd. S., Gulfport, 727-303-0975. @letitbeicecream on Facebook M.Bird Grab your girlfriends for a special Galentine’s Day with the best downtown continued on page 31

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continued from page 28 HOW SWEET IT IS: The Sugar Factory awaits you and your sweetie.

C/O SRH TAMPA

skyline view in the city. Guests receive a complimentary glass of champagne at 4 p.m.; a Valentine’s-themed cocktail and food menu are available Feb. 13 and Valentine’s Day. Feb. 13, 4 p.m.-11 p.m. Food and drink specials range $13-28. 1903 Market St., Tampa, 813-296-2702. mbirdtampa.com Main Course Restaurant & Lounge Make it a date night at the “Steak & Dates” dinner. Each ticket comes with a candlelit table, a dozen red roses, a bottle of Belaire, and chocolate covered strawberries. Good vibes only at this Selling Tampa-featured restaurant. Feb. 14 at 6 p.m. and 8 p.m. $375-$1,000. 4205 S Macdill Ave. Ste. H, Tampa, 813-898-2106. maincourserestaurants.net Mandola’s Italian Kitchen Specials includes tantalizing dishes like seafood cannelloni, heart cakes with chocolate ganache, an Ava cake for two, and Mandola’s famous “Love Potion” gelato. Feb. 14 11 a.m.-10p.m. $5.50-16.

Various locations. mandolas.com Marlow’s Tavern An easy win with a special prix fixe menu that’ll make your stomach happy. 13134 N Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa, 813-513-8899. Feb. 14 11:30 a.m.-9 p.m. marlowstavern.com Meat Market Select dishes from a special menu for the night plus the regular menu.

Delicious macarons for the ladies. Feb. 14 noon-3 p.m. then 5 p.m.-11 p.m. 1606 W Snow Ave., Tampa, 813-280-1113. meatmarket.net Noble Crust Valentine’s-themed cocktails with names like “For the Love of Lavender,” “Oh Me So Thorny,” “I Love You Cherry Month,” and “We Belong Together” are available all month at every location. Various locations. noble-crust.com OpenTable Make this Valentine’s Day stand out from the others with a variety of foodiedriven dining experiences. Various locations. opentable.com River’s Edge Couples can feel the love when Chef Garfield Foster handcrafts a lovely holiday menu offering a four-course meal featuring crisp pork belly, seared yellowfin tuna, and more. Feb. 14 5 p.m.-10 p.m. $75/person. 200 N Ashley Dr., Tampa, 813-226-4400. riversedgetampa.com Rome + Fig Global Bistro Grab your someone special for a romantic dinner for two curated by Chef Ryan. Feb. 14 4 p.m.-10 p.m.

317 N Rome Ave., Tampa, 813-253-3353. romeandfigbistro.com RumFish Grill Food Network star Chef Marc Cummings created an exclusive Valentine’s Day menu. A meet-and-greet with Cummings and Chef Jon Hilton starts at 4 p.m. Reservations highly suggested. Feb. 14 5 p.m.-9 p.m. $56/person. 6000 Gulf Blvd., St. Pete Beach, 727-1428. rumfishgrill.com Ruth’s Chris Steak House Share an unforgettable Tenderloin for Two meal with loved ones Feb. 11-20 whether dining in or pre-ordering takeout/delivery. Pair the meal with the seasonal

hand-crafted Raspberry Rosemary Cosmo cocktail. Various locations. ruthschris.com Sal Y Mar Tulum vibes on the rooftop during a Valentine’s Day dinner featuring five courses and the sweet sounds of resident violinist Sebastian.

Each table for 2 includes a choice of wine bottle plus an introductory specialty cocktail. Feb. 14 5 p.m.-10:30 p.m. $300/couple. 3650 Midtown Dr., Tampa, 813-692-3330. salymarrooftop.com Seasons 52 Invite your sweetheart out for all the best Valentine’s Day has to offer plus a bottle of Riondo Prosecco Rosé for $25. Pre-order one of their Valentine’s Day to-go bundles for $110 featuring Vanderpump Wines; pickup Feb. 13 or Feb. 14. Various locations. seasons52.com Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Take a break from the slots with an array of holiday options at their Rise Kitchen & Deli, Hard Rock Cafe, Council Oak Steaks & Seafood, and Cipresso concepts. Feb. 14 11:30-midnight.

5223 Orient Rd., Tampa, 866-388-4263. seminolehardrocktampa.com Shuffle Sip Tang Mimosas and Bloody Mary’s while Jackson Harpe Trio plays live at a Galentine’s Day Rehab Brunch. Feb. 13 11 a.m.-6 p.m. 2612 N Tampa St., Tampa, 813-4503797. @tampashuffle on Facebook Six Choose from an assortment of dishes like beet cured salmon roulade, lobster cacio

e pepe, and passionfruit pavlova as part of a three-course dinner for the night and enjoy an almost 360-degree view of the bay. Feb 14 11 a.m.-11 p.m. $65/person. 510 Water St., Tampa, 813-314-6666. sixtampa.com Steelbach Share the restaurant’s simple and fresh foods with your SO during a decadent four-course dinner for the most romantic day of the year. Dishes include aleppo-crusted tuna carpaccio, osso buco, and dolce de leche panna cotta. Feb. 14 5 p.m.-10 p.m. $125/ person. 1902 N Ola Ave., Tampa, 813-693-5478. steelbach.com Sugar Factory Be kids again with the “Crazy For You” milkshake, available all February at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. If you’re looking for a gift, a sweetheart treat gift basket is filled with a variety of gummies, chocolate bars, the iconic rubber duckie, and Valentine’s Day-themed candy; available for purchase instore until Valentine’s Day. $21-39. 5223 Orient Rd., Tampa, 813-521-4262. sugarfactory.com Timpano Hyde Park Get in before the Valentine’s Day rush with a few featured dishes: oysters, caprese, pasta granchio, and chateaubriand for two. Feb. 11-14 various hours. 1610 W Swann Ave., Tampa, 813-254-5870. timpanohydepark.com

Willa’s One of Tampa Bay’s top restaurants of 2021 is dedicating three days (Friday-Monday, Feb. 11-14) where its regular menu will be enhanced by the addition of specially-curated dishes including snapper crudo with espelette, watermelon radish, grapefruit supreme, pickled fennel & EVOO and a savory cheese plate with camembert, pickled strawberries, focaccia toast & Florida honey. Next door at Willa’s Provisions, will feature live music from songwriter Sun Dé plus Valentine’s cocktails, including strawberry Aperol spritz with prosecco, soda and orange on tap, Paper Plane with aperol, amaro nonino, lemon & 4 Roses small batch bourbon. 1700 W Fig St., Tampa. willastampa.com Whiskey Cake Kitchen & Bar Join them Feb. 10-15 to savor a few of their Valentine’s Day features wood grilled ribeye steak with garlic gulf shrimp and bourbon smoked chocolate dipped strawberries; available for dine-in or to-go. Reservations recommended.

Thursday-Friday/Monday-Tuesday 11 a.m.10 p.m., Saturday 10 a.m.-10 p.m., Sunday 10 a.m.-9 p.m. $10-48. 2223 N West Shore Blvd. Unit 207, Tampa, 813-535-9955. whiskeycake.com

DINING GUIDE

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | 31

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Going up

Fermented Reality owner has plans for a new concept in Ybor City.

B

y the time Strategic Property Partners told Joel Bigham that Fermented Reality Biergarten had to leave Sparkman’s Wharf in August 2021, plans for his new Ybor Citybased restaurant were already in motion. And now, Trellis Brewpub at 1910 E 7th Ave. will debut in Ybor City in just a few months. Bigham tells Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that his new beer-driven restaurant will be hopefully open by June 2022. Surprisingly, the unexpected move out of Sparkman’s Wharf didn’t inhibit plans for the new brewpub.

Seating about 100 patrons inside and few more on its outdoor patio, Trellis Brewpub will boast a full dinner menu of “upscale American fare.” You can expect to see traditional brewpub foods like burgers, wings, sandwiches and onion rings—a crunchy south Jersey delicacy that Bigham promises to bring to Tampa Bay. Housemade fermented hot sauces will also be featured on the Trellis menu—a homage to its beer garden predecessor.

Although the menu will cater to Ybor City patrons and Tampa Bay foodies alike, Trellis Brewpub’s extensive beer list will be just as important as the food.

“Even though our tap will rotate through trendy and popular beers, there will be one or two permanent collaborations that will always be available,” Bigham tells Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “I’ve already got commitments from Magnanimous Brewing and BarrieHaus Beer Co.,” which are two Tampa-based breweries.

The other beers on tap besides the permanent collaborations will rotate “big time” according to Bigham. Trendy IPAs and sours will be on tap, while the selection of bottled and canned brews will range from local staples like Cigar City’s Jai Alai to imported lagers and ales from Germany, Belgium and beyond.

“At the Biergarten I was known for the tap list of over 40 beers—and a little bit of that will be showcased at Trellis Brewpub, ” Bigham says.

Alongside a variety of beer offerings, Trellis will also have a full service bar stocked with all of the expected liquors—Bigham’s first venture into the world of booze. The Trellis Brewpub menu will remain in the works until he finds an executive chef to put their magic touch on it.

Bigham hopes that he can rehire beertenders from Fermented Reality, but has not yet started the hiring process for his front of house staff.

He states that he will pay his employees rates that are competitive with other restaurants in Tampa—at least $16 an hour.

Trellis Brewpub’s operating hours will be similar to that of its neighbor Zydeco Brew

Works, just two doors away. Despite being located in the heart of Ybor City on 7th Avenue, the new restaurant and brewpub will be open until midnight at the latest, and will cater more towards the dinner crowd instead. Once it’s up and running, Trellis might expand its hours to serve lunch as well.

When asked how Trellis will work with Zydeco instead of competing with them, Bigham answered that the two establishments cater to slightly different types of beer-lovers, and that he isn’t worried about finding Trellis’ specific customer base. Trellis Brewpub will focus more on trendy beers, while Zydeco Brew Works sticks to more traditional brews—although Bigham states that the two businesses will share a majority of their audience.

According to CL’s “Unwritten Rules of Tampa Bay” list, it’s always 20 degrees hotter at Sparkman’s Wharf, and beerlovers throughout the Bay surely know that Fermented Reality’s Biergarten is no longer there to cool things down with a crisp German beer.

And while it’s full steam ahead until Trellis Brewpub debuts later this year, Bigham still thinks about the way Fermented Reality was pushed out of its location at Sparkman’s Wharf— especially since the beer garden was an anchor business for the district since its debut in 2019.

Bigham describes the process of being virtually pushed out of their location as “having the rug pulled out from under us.” By the time SPP told Fermented Reality they had to relocate, the massive beer garden only had 40 days to move out. Luckily, there was just enough time to sell the rest of the beer that they had stored at that location. Bigham states that he was trying to renegotiate his lease for about six months before being told that it was not going to be renewed.

“We told them we could offer food or liquor— we told them that we would do whatever they wanted, ‘’ Bigham says about SPP, the property managers of Sparkman’s Wharf and the rest of Water Street. “It was really unfair how they treated us, and what’s there now is a shell of what it used to be.”

The concept that replaced Fermented Reality Biergarten is called Lighthaus Beer Garden, which notably sells food—alongside wine, beer, and seltzers. Guy Revelle, who also brought Splitsville and Jotoro to the Wharf, opened Lighthaus Beer just two weeks after Fermented Reality closed.

“I have every intention of reopening the beer garden, but I am unsure of exactly where the location will be, ‘’ Bigham states. “Nothing will

OPENINGS

C/OJOEL BIGHAM

By Kyla Fields

LATTICE DRINK: Joel Bigham hopes to have Trellis Brewpub open by June. make me happier than being able to hang the Fermented Reality sign back up.”

He’s in the middle of negotiating a lease for a new location, but doesn’t exactly have hope that it’ll actually go through. Although his ideal location would be within a 5-mile radius of Sparkman’s Wharf to cater to a similar customer base (aka the “beer geeks”), he is also eyeing places near Gandy, in St. Petersburg, as well as other locations throughout South Tampa. Bigham hopes that the lease

for Fermented Reality 2.0 will be signed by the end of 2022, and by that time Trellis Brewpub’s doors will have been open—and Bigham will be the man behind two beer-centric hotspots in Tampa Bay. For now, you can follow the newly-formed Trellis Brewpub Instagram at @trellisbrewpub for the latest updates on its current build out and eventual grand opening later this year (and if you’re that executive chef he’s looking for, DM him there, too).

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | 33

Celebrating 23 years in Downtown Dunedin. ~ Asi es la Vida! ~

Expanded bar, additional seating and small gift shop.

365 Main St • Dunedin • 727-734-9226 • www.CasaTinas.com

911 Central Ave. | St. Petersburg, FL | 33705

buyaramen.com | 727.202.7010 34 | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | cltampa.com

DINE IN • PICK UP • CURBSIDE

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cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | 35

36 | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | cltampa.com

THEATER

School Girls; or, the African Mean Girls Play

By Jocelyn Bioh Through Feb. 27, $44-$54 American Stage, 163 3rd St. NNorth, St. Petersburg. 727-823-PLAY (7529); americanstage.org

MOVIES

THEATER

ART

CULTURE

Cruel school

Colonial mentality, colorism, teen angst take the stage in St. Pete.

By Jon Palmer Claridge and proceeds to full bore hysteria culminating in ear-piercing screams at the mention of the girls’ objectification of dreamboat Bobby Brown as the front for boy band, New Edition’s “Mr. Telephone Man.” Miss Bioh’s unspoken dig at the singer’s violent future draws a gasp/laugh from the knowing audience.

What doesn’t make sense in the production, in which the head mean girl Paulina spends a conspicuous amount of time shaming Nana for her size and hiding food, is that the new lightskinned American girl that becomes the threat to steal her thunder is not beauty queen svelte.

Certainly in 1986 when the play is set, the world of pageants still worshiped at the Eurocentric altar of stick-thin models. Indeed, Paulina holds up the dark-skinned Somali supermodel, Iman— (all 115 pounds of her)—as an icon.

In fact, the play’s opening image is not about the colorism at the heart of the story, but rather a blatant assault on food, with the dark-skinned mean girl ragging on her more ample friend for

Mr. Maharaj and his fine lighting designer leave us with a touching final image of preordained injustice—only to drag out the transition to an inspired curtain call celebrating the glory of African head-wraps with brightly colored caftans superbly executed by Jordan Jeffers and Saidah Ben Judah. It’s a lovely, exuberant idea, but we sit entirely too long in the dark before the unveiling. Even filling the void with the voices of famous, empowered Black women doesn’t do the trick. It robs a soul-piercing conclusion of its power because the ensuing celebration becomes anticlimactic.

As we navigate through complicated lives together, in a challenging COVID-filled world that shatters any sense of normalcy, it’s distressing to observe the continuing growth of tribal factions. For all any of us need and want is to celebrate the differences that make life interesting. We share a globe teeming with diversity and playwright Bioh’s message for us is empathy, which is encapsulated in the longing of Eloise’s simple, heartfelt cry, “I want for once in my life to finally be seen.” At that moment, I couldn’t help but think that by the time this play closes, an accomplished Black woman will be poised to join the Supremes, not with Diana, Mary, and Flo but on the bench with Sonya, Amy, and Elena.

CHAZ D PHOTOGRAPHY

A

merican Stage’s charismatic new leader, Rajendra Ramoon Maharaj, reminded his opening night audience that the universal satirical truths contained in Jocelyn Bioh‘s “School Girls; or, the African Mean Girls Play” aren’t just for Black History Month. “Black history is American history.” His enduring mantra places this theater’s work on a continuum that honors the struggles of ancestors and acknowledges that we are merely temporary stewards on a journey that will outlive us all.

In this case, the plot explores the internalized teen angst and colonial mentality colorism that manifest themselves in bullying and bad behavior in a girl’s school in Ghana. Queen bee, Paulina (a commanding Aguel Lual) is dead set on the Miss Global Universe pageant and intimidates her hive mind friends splendidly realized complete with spot-on accents by Jada Austin (food-obsessed Nana), Ivy Sunflower (frenemy Ama), and exuberant, hilarious cousins Massiel Evans (Mercy), and Phineas Slaton (Gifty). But when a new fair-skinned girl, Erika (Siobhan Marie Hunter), arrives from Ohio, all loyalties are strained—especially when Eloise (Jennifer Lee Warren) an alumna of the school and Miss Ghana 1966 arrives and spars with her former rival, headmistress Francis (Phyllis Yvonne Stickney), who is not a fan of the beauty pageant circuit.

Both Ms. Stickney and Ms. Warren offer impressive Broadway, TV and film credits reflecting the depth of prodigious talent they bring to the stage.

The design team creates a compelling environment filled with telling details. Harlan D. Penn’s set conjures the school cafeteria complete with a trio of geometric block grids that scream mid-century. The color scheme riffs on the green and gold of Ghana’s flag which hangs impressively stage left. Electrical conduit snakes its way along the back wall to the light switches mounted on the surface. A trio of hanging lamps is interspersed with ceiling fans. Lighting designer Ryan Finzelber’s pre-show down lights cast a spinning shadow on the center table that is reminiscent of Don Quixote’s windmills, while Paul Edward Wilt’s upbeat score of ‘80s pop ballads eases the audience back decades to 1986.

The cast is formidable in executing exaggerated vaudevillian takes that now might be comfortable only in “SNL”-type sketch comedy

finishing her porridge. Then, what follows is an exultation on the merits of apples as a food source for any potential Miss Ghana. Ashley Graham didn’t sign with Wilhelmina and make the case for plus size models till 2001.

So it’s curious casting in the world of this play, to ask an audience to embrace the wonderfully talented Ms. Hunter as a plausible 1986 Miss Ghana when the play’s main issue is colorism and body image is only mentioned in relation to Nana. Pageants have always presented a reductive look at beauty. If this production is trying to make a larger point about body type beyond the colorism that’s explicit in the text, it’s not clear and has no precedent in previous productions.

Historically, in 1986, a successful contestant for Miss Ghana would, of necessity, be more Iman, than Sports Illustrated’s Brielle Anyea, or actual Ghanaian Philomena Kwao who prove “there isn’t one kind of beauty.” Especially since playwright Bioh works so hard to portray Nana as a target of “mean girl” ridicule, this doesn’t ring true.

Having said all that, Ms. Bioh’s script is in good hands. The cast is superb. Underneath the ample humor, the production unravels the psychological layers that underpin the girls’ cruelty toward each other—unspooling issues of poverty, classism, and parental neglect into uproarious comedy.

SCHOOL’S IN: (L-R) Phineas Slaton (Gifty), Jada Austin (Nana), Massiel Evans (Mercy).

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | 37

HAPPY HOUR AT AMSO Monday - Friday, 4pm-7pm Saturday 3pm-6pm

Guillaume Courtois, called “Il Borgognone”, Agar and Ismael, c. 1670, oil on canvas, Courtesy of Collection Fagiolo, Palazzo Chigi, Ariccia.

THE FLORIDA ORCHESTRA TAKEOVER OF THE MFA: BACH AND THE BAROQUE 2 pm and 3 pm performances in the Marly Room Free with museum admission

38 | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | cltampa.com

$4, $5 & $6 Liquor, Beer & Wine $8 Hand-Crafted Cocktails

Run it

The best new movies you can watch right now.

By John W. Allman

Yes, “The Runner” is essentially a longform music video meant to accompany the release of new music by electro-darkwave artists Boy Harsher (Jae Matthews and Augustus Muller), but rarely do the artists themselves invest so much of their own time, energy and imagination.

Matthews and Muller co-wrote and codirected “The Runner,” which I would challenge anyone to summarize in a way that’s both concise and accurate. From my cheap seats, I walked away with the following: “The Runner” is about a succubus or a demon or a shapeshifter who absorbs the bodies of her victims at times as both sustenance and fuel. I could be wrong, but I don’t think there is a wrong answer here.

“The Runner” exists both to promote Boy Harsher as a band and to provide some gory good visual entertainment while listening to their new songs. To that end, there is one gruesome and noteworthy kill, as well as a solid extended sequence when the ‘Runner’ enters a dive bar/ pool hall and exacts a bloody toll. Highly recommended, especially for longtime fans and anyone who digs dark electronica.

Cobra Kai: Season III ★ ★ ★ ★ , 326 minutes, streaming and DVD If you would have told me back in 1984 that Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence would still be a thing some 38 years later, I would have swept your leg and Ki-ya’d you in the chest.

Imagine my surprise that not only are Ralph Macchio and William Zabka still trending with their forever feud, but that “Cobra Kai,” the ridiculously good series that leapt from YouTube to Netflix, is everything that’s right and powerful about nostalgia because it has taken a classic film and turned into a generational phenomenon through great writing, well-thought-out plot pivots and a belief that you don’t just have to repeat what’s been done before in order to be successful.

The stakes couldn’t be higher in “Season III,” which opens shortly after the holy hell epic brawl that ended Season 2. In short, Miguel is paralyzed and in a coma; Robby is on the run and expelled from school; and Sam is suffering from PTSD. Not only that, but John Kreese (Martin Kove) is about to make a play to usurp Johnny’s hold on his dojo just as Daniel is struggling to salvage his reputation and maintain his place as the valley’s most well-known auto dealer.

The 10-episode season is perfectly paced and packed with huge reveals, none bigger than Episode 9’s “Feel the Night,” which features a very welcome return of a character from the original

“The Karate Kid.” “Cobra Kai” has become one of my most favorite television series of all time.

If you haven’t checked it out yet, now is the time since Season 4 debuted on Netflix to start the new year.

Halloween Kills: Extended Cut ★ ★ ★ ★ , 105 minutes, streaming, 4K-Ultra HD, Blu-Ray and DVD I stand by my comments from last October when I proclaimed “Halloween Kills,” the twelfth film in this undying franchise, as the second best of all. It’s brutal, more brutal than even Rob Zombie’s bizarre reimagining, but it also provides ample fan service and nostalgia that feels earned and long overdue.

taken a small-town doctor hostage as retribution for an accidental death. And for most of its runtime, “American Siege” is an enjoyable slice of B-movie mayhem, but it sure does make you long for the days when Willis cheerfully proclaiming, ‘Yippee-ki-yay motherfucker’ was the height of action cinema.

Last Night in Soho ★ ★ ★ , 116 minutes, streaming, 4K-UHD, Blu-Ray and DVD It’s tough when you wait and wait and wait to see a new movie by one of your favorite directors and that movie takes its sweet time finding its footing and suddenly you’re having to fight to maintain interest long enough for the plot to coalesce. Such is the way with Edgar Wright’s ambitious but ultimately not-as-satisfying as you want “Last Night in Soho,” which benefits from two outstanding performances by leads Thomasin McKenzie and Anya Taylor-Joy. What Wright gets right, from the impeccable set design that wholly transports viewers back to London in the mid-1960s to the period fashion and musical performances, he really nails just as you have come to expect from his innumerable talents. But the central mystery, presented as a spin on the classic Italian giallo genre, feels almost slight, especially once you become accustomed to the gimmick that Wright deploys as a means to toggle between the past and present reality. While not his best, by far, “Last Night in Soho” still deserves to be seen and appreciated, if only for the fact that Wright remains as ambitious and fearless as any director working today.

FILM & TV

COURTNEY BROOKE

The Runner

★ ★ ★ ★ , 39 minutes, Shudder

none of which detract from the viewing experience, it’s impossible to ignore Fast’s talents, both as a writer and a visual artist. The story, as much as there is one, concerns a group of young women on summer break who decide to leave the structure, rules and expectations of conventional society behind. They find the perfect spot for their new all-girls community in the form of a remote, uninhabited, but perfectly habitable, cabin far from the town where they live. If this was a fairy tale, the cabin would be a stand-in for the witch’s hut that exists deep in the dark wood where few brave souls venture.

Once there, the girls enact a new set of guidelines for their new lives as self-sufficient outliers. The rules are simple, yet brutal. Discipline is doled out on a quid pro quo basis. The few boys allowed to visit quickly feel the shift in power dynamics, but this is not their story.

“Honeycomb” is a fascinating visual poem that casually asks questions about why we allow our-

Slapface

★ ★ ★ , 85 minutes, Shudder

YEAH, BOY HARSHER: Yes, ‘The Runner’ is essentially a longform music video.

Honeycomb ★ ★ ★ ½ , 70 minutes, festivals only For anyone who loves movies, who welcomes the opportunity to be transported someplace else, especially someplace unfamiliar and dangerous and yet intoxicating, there is a thrill that comes with seeing young talent begin to stretch their wings and flex their creative muscles. Firsttime filmmaker Avalon Fast, all of 21 years old, has given film fans just that with her debut, “Honeycomb,” which had its world premiere last month at the Slamdance Film Festival.

“Honeycomb” is raw, unfiltered and brimming with big ideas and powerful observations.

The actors on screen aren’t professionals; I suspect that many of them are actually Fast’s friends. But for all its technical shortcomings,

selves to be so contained by rules that we didn’t help conceive. It’s a story of primal witchcraft that feeds off the electricity of a shared hive mind without giving in to the rigors of structure. You can’t stream it, yet, but hopefully soon “Honeycomb” will be available for all to see.

American Siege ★ ★ ★ , 100 minutes, streaming It’s hard to keep track of all the new movies arriving straight-to-DVD or streaming today that star Bruce Willis, and sadly few to any of those new flicks rival Willis’ heyday as the reigning king of wisecracks and gunfights. “American Siege” gives Willis a chance to actually act instead of just pitting him as an army-of-one against an armed-to-the-teeth militia that has

“Slapface,” the latest exclusive to debut on Shudder, is a confounding yet entertaining mashup that tries to keep one foot firmly rooted in the harsh reality of grief and failed parental responsibility while exploring a delirious and dangerous fantasy with the other where a young, possibly sociopathic boy befriends an ancient witch and must decide whether to be a force for evil or for good.

The 355 ★ ★ ½ , 122 minutes, in theaters and streaming When he’s not busy destroying childhood memories by ruining classic comic book material, writer/director Simon Kinberg also dabbles in writing action and science-fiction movies that are either hit-or-miss (see ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’ and ‘Jumper’). And sometimes, he also directs.

His second feature, “The 355,” is admirable and often entertaining, but it doesn’t do nearly as much to advance female-centric action flicks as it likely wishes despite assembling a wickedly good cast that includes Jessica Chastain, continued on page 41

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SNOW DAY: As vampire stories go, ‘Red Snow’ lacks bite due to its dull, familiar fangs.

4DIGITAL MEDIA

continued from page 39 Penélope Cruz, Bingbing Fan, Diane Kruger and Lupita Nyong’o.

There are several top-notch set pieces sprinkled throughout “The 355,” which plays off the code word given to the first female spy ever identified during the American Revolution, and fans of James Bond, Jason Bourne and that type of hand-to-hand, techgeek, cloak-and-dagger-style action will likely thoroughly enjoy. Maybe I’m jaded by having seen other, lesser known but superior female action properties, but I wanted more, a lot more, and yet I was content with what I received.

Red Snow ★ ★ , 80 minutes, streaming Writer-director Sean Nichols Lynch’s sophomore feature, “Red Snow,” tries to spin something fresh out of vampire cinema with decidedly mixed results. It’s the tale of a romance novelist who writes erotic vampire fiction without the first-hand knowledge of what it means to be a vampire, until one shows up wounded at her door.

Lynch’s script leaves a lot of gaping holes crying out to be filled with backstory. And for long stretches, “Red Snow” is simply content to toggle back and forth between captor and captive while teasing the threat of a group of vampire hunters closing in on their prey.

FILM & TV

Last Radio Call ★ ★ , 76 minutes, streaming Isaac Rodriguez’s “Last Radio Call” is a new found-footage hybrid that likely will feel familiar to viewers. It’s the story of a police officer who disappeared one night while investigating a disturbance at an abandoned hospital.

The only clues to what happened are found in the officer’s bodycam footage, which his widow uses to try and piece together the truth. There are moments to appreciate, and several creepy sequences to keep viewers unnerved, but ultimately “Last Radio Call” falls short of being a must-see new title.

The Unhealer ★ ★ , 94 minutes, streaming If you decide to check out “The Unhealer,” an interesting if uneven supernatural thriller about a charlatan who might actually have the gift of healing, do so for the sight of an unhinged Lance Henriksen chewing scenery as only he can. But once Henriksen’s character touches a young man long bullied and tormented, and that contact somehow bestows mystical powers to the teen, who in turn seeks vengeance using his newfound abilities, “The Unhealer” becomes repetitive and redundant, yet another attempt to squeeze fresh juice out a long-since dried piece of pulp.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife ★ , 124 minutes, streaming, 4K-UHD, Blu-Ray and DVD Now I understand why there wasn’t an advance screening for film critics. As angry as I felt following the end credits of the latest “Scream” film (see below), I’m pretty sure I was even more mad at the conclusion of “Ghostbusters: Afterlife,” if only because viewing this abomination confirmed my worst fear, namely that early buzz and reaction was spot-on in savaging Jason Reitman’s overly nostalgic return to the world of ghost traps, proton packs and Gozer the Gozerian.

“Ghostbusters: Afterlife” is an affront to longtime fans of the 1984 original, and it actually makes you reconsider your aversion to the lacking first sequel, “Ghostbusters II,” but the real crime here is that Reitman and Co. fail at every opportunity to present any new ideas and instead just beat the dead horse and holler in frustration at the dry well. This could have, should have, been so much better.

The setup holds such promise: Decades after a giant marshmallow almost destroyed New York City and paved the way for an interdimensional takeover of our world by an angry other god, the daughter and grandchildren of Egon Spengler (the late Harold

Ramis) arrive in a small blip of a town in rural Oklahoma to take care of his estate after his sudden death. Spengler had seemingly abandoned his ghost-busting friends and his unaware family to live alone as a recluse, which remains a sore spot for his daughter Callie (Carrie Coon, completely miscast), grandson Trevor (Finn Wolfhard) and granddaughter Phoebe (Mckenna Grace), who is a spitting image of Ramis in thick glasses and unruly hair.

There hasn’t been a ghost sighting in years, but all that’s about to change, of course, once Trevor and Phoebe discover the secrets that Spengler left behind. Before you get all jittery with excitement at the possibility of watching the birth of a new batch of ghostbusters, be forewarned.

Reitman, a very capable director of human drama (“Tully,” “Young Adult”), inexplicably rushes and races through all the magical moments of discovery and wonder that could have been, and instead takes what likely seemed like a safe bet in calling back to the original film with an endless stream of cameos, Easter eggs and uninspired shenanigans (most of those centered on an also woefully miscast Paul Rudd as a small-town science teacher) as the movie lurches and lumbers continued on page 43

“Lynch’s sophomore feature tries to spin something fresh out of vampire cinema.”

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | 41

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continued from page 41 toward its inevitable third act that’s undone by too much CGI and not enough heart.

The decision too to try and wring tears of joy and cathartic grieving from longtime fans by reuniting the original team feels ugly and wrong, like taking a bite of soured food that looked too good to be true on the plate. More than that, it’s just insulting. A lot of people that I know and respect actually liked “Ghostbusters: Afterlife,” and while I understand that need for comfort in this crazy hellscape of a world in which we’re living, this is not the movie that we deserved and it’s certainly not the return to greatness that we were hoodwinked into expecting.

Scream ★ , 114 minutes, in theaters It’s been 24 days since I sat through an advance screening of the fifth film in the “Scream” franchise, which is stupidly titled “Scream,” just like

the first film, and I’m still mad. More than that, I’m honestly confused as to how this new entry has a 7.1/10 IMDb rating and a 78% critical rating and an 82% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

Seriously, what the fuck movie did all those people watch? Because it sure as hell wasn’t the overlong, unfunny, unscary, uninteresting and completely redundant movie that I watched. I mean, for real. How is this abomination getting any favorable press at all?

It opens with YET ANOTHER rehash of the original and iconic ‘what’s your favorite scary movie’ kill sequence.

It then pivots to a new group of high school students in Woodsboro, California, who just so happen to each conform to their respective stereotype from the first film’s core group of students, right down to a horror movie expert and a final girl with past baggage. It brings back multiple characters from earlier installments, including Neve Campbell, Courteney

Cox and David Arquette, and acts like this is some huge moment in horror history when these people have appeared in basically every sequel made to date. It includes so many – so fucking many – shout outs to the late Wes Craven that you might think he just died or something. He didn’t. We lost his particular brand of genre cinema brilliance in 2015.

It features an extended ghost cameo that never really earns the respect that it clearly wants, or makes the kind of seismic impact on the plot that you hoped. And no, I’m not talking ABOUT Ghostface. I’m talking about an actual ghost of a character who died in the very first film.

The only positive thing about this fifth “Scream” is that it provides more people the opportunity to get to know the creative talent behind Radio Silence, filmmakers Tyler Gillett, Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Chad Villella.

FILM & TV

These guys are actually really, really good.

They killed it with “Ready or Not,” “V/H/S” and “Southbound.” I can’t begrudge them for trying their hand at a franchise slasher.

The problem here isn’t just that this “Scream” is redundant. Most slasher sequels are wholly redundant. But we’re living in an age that just saw “Halloween Kills,” the 12th entry in that franchise, become the most popular film in the series, and also one of the best. The reason why is because a new director and new writer (David Gordon Green and Danny McBride) came up with an original idea about how to logically continue a movie that came out 43 years ago, and then they made it into a trilogy that’s proven thus far to be brutal and awesome and everything that a “Halloween” fan could want. Could the same thing have happened with “Scream”? Maybe, sure. But it didn’t, and now I honestly say I’ve had quite enough of “Scream” to last me the rest of my life.

BOO THIS FILM: Don’t answer the phone, and don’t go to Woodsboro, Ghostface is back, again.

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Don dodecagon

Twin 12-sided home setup on the market near iconic St. Pete hotel.

By Colin Wolf

I

t’s rare to find a 12-sided home for sale, let alone one sitting high on poles. But right now a twin-dodecagon setup is on the market in St. Petersburg.

Located at 3250 E Debazan Ave. half a mile from the Don CeSar, the pole barn-style home was built in 1976 and actually consists of two dodecagon structures sitting on

steel beams. The 2,249-square-foot home comes with three bedrooms and three bathrooms, as well as multiple spiral staircases, multiple balconies, a pool, and multiple fruit trees. The home is currently asking $1.2 million and the listing agent is Wendy Lockhart Keller Williams Gulf Beaches.

HOMES

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | 45

46 | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | cltampa.com

THU FEBRUARY 10–WED FEBRUARY 16

C CL Recommends

THU 10

The Queers w/Teenage Bottlerocket/ The Chris Barrows Band/Twisty Chris and the Puddin’ Packs Remember last year when pop-punk four-piece Teenage Bottlerocket charged unvaccinated people $999.99 for access into its Tampa Bay concert? We do, and now, the band—which got #MeToo-ed after that vaxx show—is coming back alongside The Queers, Tampa OG Chris Barrows Band, and Twisty Chris and the Puddin’ Packs. There are still tickets available online, but prices aren’t based on vaccination status. (Brass Mug, Tampa)

FRI 11

C The Arrival Note (album release) w/ Planet Loser/Secret World Stedfast’s Josh Howell has another new musical project to share. With his friend Kyle Weidner taking on drums, guitar, and bass, Tampa emo band The Arrival Note recorded its debut, eponymous EP over the summer. It finally dropped in late January, and the two are playing a massively intimate show to celebrate the EP’s materialization to the public. Joining Josh and Kyle will be Tampa favorite Planet Loser, as well as Secret World, which also put out an EP recently. (Wild Roots, St. Petersburg) Legendz of the Streetz feat. Rick Ross w/Jeezy/Gucci Mane/2 Chainz/Trina/ Fabolous Over the course of 53 weeks, Rick Ross will have performed in Tampa Bay three times: At Dallas Bull in February of last year, Whiskey North over the summer, and now, alongside fellow prolific rappers.

The “Legendz of the Streetz” tour is set to feature Gucci Mane, 2 Chainz, Jeezy, and Boosie Badazz, just to name a few, but was struck down with a postponement in the fall. The rescheduled show finally arrives at Amalie, and as of now, no vaccination cards or 72-hour neggy tests are required for entry, but you should have your jabs by now anyway. (Amalie Arena, Tampa) Heart By Heart Ann and Nancy Wilson aren’t the only ones who made up Heart. On the sisters’ first six studio albums, drummer Mike Derosier and bassist Steve Fossen (yep, the one that did the original “Barracuda” lick) backed everything up. And though Ann and Nancy are back together with a newish backing band, Derosier and Fossen have been helping keep Heart’s music alive since 2014.

They even have two female lead singers joining their tribute in Largo. If I didn’t make myself clear, one of the singers in the band is Fossen’s wife Somar Macek, so Ann and Nancy Wilson will not be onstage in Largo.

(Central Park Performing Arts Center, Largo)

LSDREAM w/Mystic Grizzly/NotLö Bassdriven DJ LSDREAM sold out Colorado’s Red Rocks Amphitheater last year. So, to think that he’s bringing his "Peace, Love, and Wubz" tour to such a smaller capacity area is going to be a very different change of pace. He just started the tour this week, and joining him in Ybor City are fellow DJs Mystic Grizzly, NotLö, and Orlando’s Bernzikial. Tickets are already sold out, but generally, The Ritz has a good number of shows that are no cover, as long as you sign up for the guestlist. (The Ritz, Ybor City)

Rick Ross

SAT 12

C Citizen Cope When Richie Havens— who opened Woodstock—covers your song, you know that you’ve made it. Clarence Greenwood, aka Citizen Cope, issued The Pull of Niagara Falls in April of last year, which was recorded in a studio and an AirBnB that he rented during the pandemic. It’s much quieter than some of Citizen Cope’s other work, and fans will get to experience a quieter setting at the historic Tampa Theater this weekend when he returns to the Bay area for the first time since a weeks-before-COVID show at Jannus Live. (Tampa Theater, Tampa) Deep Purple Six years after announcing its “Long Goodbye” tour, Deep Purple isn’t quite ready to call it quits. The band even went out of its way to go above and beyond to make its so-called “farewell” tour one of the biggest ones yet. One run of shows had Alice Cooper and Edgar Winter on the bill as well. Whether you’re angry to have spent extra to see the band behind “Smoke On The Water” one last time or not, you have another chance to catch the purp this weekend. Balcony tickets are still available, and the Mahaffey requires masks at most performances, so be sure to bring yours whether you end up using it or not. (Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg) C G. Love & The Juice In late 2020, bluesy trio G. Love and Special Sauce was finally nominated for a Grammy honoring its latest effort, The Juice, which features Keb’ Mo’ on the lead single "Go Crazy". The 49-year-old is now on the road with a new, slightly more elaborate backing band, while Special Sauce takes a much deserved break. G. Love and his new, three-piece backing band, appropriately called The Juice, hits Jannus for the first time in just over two years. There are tickets still available, but the brilliance of the hip-hop blues might make tickets scarce on the day of. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg) C Mayday Parade w/Real Friends/ Magnolia Park Tallahassee-born Mayday Parade is listed on the mind-blowin lineup of the When We Were Young festival taking place in Vegas later this year. But before the band behind “Miserable At Best” takes on such a widely anticipated–and memed—festival, a tour that will take it to smaller stages

PRESS HANDOUT

By Joshua Bradley

across the country must be completed first.

Mayday Parade just kicked off its tour with a homecoming show in Tallahassee last weekend, and don’t think that Derek Sanders and his homies forgot about Tampa Bay. The band appears at The Ritz in Ybor City this weekend, alongside fellow pop punks Real Friends, and indie rock band Magnolia Park.

(The Ritz, Ybor City)

TUES 15

Diego Figueiredo Trio It’s been 23 years since Brazilian-bred guitarist Diego Figueiredo released his debut, Best Of Brazilian Music Live. He’s since sold out jazz halls and festivals, and has 26 more albums under his belt, the most recent being 2021’s Antarctica. He’s no singer-songwriter, but when you pluck a Spanish guitar as quickly and efficiently as Paco de Lucía once did, there’s no need to be.

The Diego Figueiredo Trio is embarking on a brief U.S. tour, and it’ll be at the Palladium this week. There are still tickets available, but

masks are required, per SPC rules. (Hough Hall at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg)

WED 16

C Underoath w/Brother Cephus/Notsew/ Alien House In 2016 Tampa hometown hardcore hero Underoath played a surprise show at Crowbar where only 400 fans got to experience the band up close and personal, just like in the old days of playing church halls. That show was for fans, but Underoath is doing another show at the small Ybor City club, this time to help a friend of the band whose son is going through a tough time. A GoFundMe for that friend, Tommy Monette, details how the family needs help with medical bills for its kids who’re waiting for specialized treatment.

Indie-rock favorite Brother Cephus, rapper Notsew and electronic duo Alien House open the show. And if you’re missing out on this, know that Underoath just added a second St. Pete show at Jannus live next month.

(Crowbar, Ybor City)—Ray Roa

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A SATURD Baseline w/Pet Rock/Porch Coffin Friday, March 4. 8 p.m. Free. Corner Club, Tampa

The Cult Thursday, April 21. 8 p.m. $39.50$69.50. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg

Korine Wednesday, March 9. 7 p.m. $15.

Crowbar, Ybor City

Koffee w/Joeboy Thursday, April 28. 7 p.m. $33-$59. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

The 12th Annual Karibbyan Kruze feat. Trinity 7/Jahfari Band/Impulse/ Island Chill/Tropigroove/DJ Spice Saturday, March 19. 7 p.m. $15. Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa

Brian Kelley Friday, May 13. 10 p.m. $20$400. Dallas Bull, Tampa

Yebba (opening for John Mayer) Tuesday, April 5. 7:30 p.m. $45.75-$1500.

Amalie Arena, Tampa Brothers Osborne w/Kendell Marvel Saturday, April 9. 7 p.m. $39.50. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Boston Manor w/Trash Boat/Higher Power/TBA Thursday, April 14. 6:30 p.m. $19.99-$35. Orpheum, Ybor City

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to see Lavender Country’s “The Roundup Tour” are now on sale for $15. Co-slaying with these queens will be bluegrass singersongwriter Lizzie No, singer-songwriter and frequent visitor to Tampa Bay Austin Lucas, and indigenous musician and activist Mali Obomsawin, among others.

On Tuesday, Lavender Country released a new single, “Stand On Your Man,” a parody of sorts, for Tammy Wynette’s country classic, with updated lyrics by Haggerty and bandmate Lamar Van Dyke (lead vocals by Nikki Grossman). Listen to it via cltampa. com/music and see the rest of the new, canceled, postponed and rescheduled concert round up below.—Josh Bradley

Chuck Owen and the Jazz Surge Thursday, March 24. 7:30 p.m. Free. USF Concert Hall, Tampa

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In the 1970s, country band Lavender Country was always overshadowed by the likes of Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, and Conway Twitty. Though the group’s debut eponymous album—famously centered around homosexuality—is nothing short of a masterpiece, it was released in a less tolerant, much more conservative time. Now, almost 50 years later, original frontman Patrick Haggerty and Lavender Country circa 2022 are heading out on tour to promote the proper release of its 2019 comeback—and sophomore album, Blackberry Rose.

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Yeah, baby

By Caroline DeBruhl

Dear Oracle, my husband and I have been trying to figure out if right now is a good time to have a baby, but there’s some uncertainty because I applied for a job with a great agency. But I’m not sure if I want the job, due to it being out of my comfort zone. We know we want a baby in our future, but do we wait on the job? Is putting the baby off worth this job?—Excited to be Expecting Cards: Ten of Pentacles, Justice reversed, The Devil, Ace of Wands Dear Excited, in a bit of synchronicity, I’m answering your question on Feb. 1, which is Imbolc in Witch World. Imbolc is a high holy day, a fire festival that celebrates the first stirring of life in the earth. In most of the country (and strangely, here in Florida for a week) it’s winter, but there are little signs of life moving. Plants are starting to shoot up from the ground, the sun hangs around a bit longer, birds are singing more—everything is showing that barren winter is on its way out and fertile spring is about to bloom.

With all the new life energy in the air, it makes sense to be thinking about change, be it a new job or a new life. Funny enough, the four cards I pulled for your question could be read one way for a new job and another for a new baby. Both are big life events and require thought and balance and, unfortunately, some

deep anxiety. But I think the cards are about both things happening at the same time.

The first card that came out is the Ten of Pentacles, which is simultaneously a card about work and about family. The Ten of any suit is the completion of the journey and in the workhorse suit of the pentacle; it is being on top of the career. It can mean you’re the master of your trade and financially sound but it’s also about why you go to work.

The Ten of Pentacles is also about family and legacy, about preparing for the future and strengthening those familial bonds through hard work, love, and trust.

You say you don’t know if you want this job, being that it’s out of your comfort zone, but it also feels like there’s a shade of “either/or” to your question. Either you take the job or you have a baby. But the Ten of Pentacles isn’t an “or”—it’s an “and.” You can have both!

Of course, I do think you’re right; this job will probably take you out of your comfort zone.

Justice is actually a card that teeters on the edge, pushing us out of complacency and into what needs to happen. But, Justice also brings balance. We need to find a counterweight while we’re standing on that edge so we don’t fall over.

For a new job, the excitement of a new adventure might balance that worry.

So what about this job made you want to apply? Was it the type of work offered? The type of

benefits? Is the compensation great or does it offer opportunities to grow in ways that excite you?

Most importantly, what’s its family leave policy? This is important regardless of when you get pregnant. And speaking of pregnancy, I don’t know if waiting for a job offer is as big of an obstacle as you believe.

One thing I do have to wonder about is timing of the job offer. You ask if you should wait to hear about this job, but how long do you expect that to take? Longer than a month?

I ask because having a baby isn’t exactly the quickest process. On average it takes a couple about four-tosix months to conceive but even if you got pregnant today, you probably wouldn’t know for about four4 more weeks. Even then, you’d only be 5-6 weeks into a 40-week process. Hypothetically, you could have your six-month performance review before you even hit the third trimester.

However, I have a feeling that our old friend The Devil is stirring some anxieties about jobs under the surface.

Job hunting while pregnant can be a nightmare. It’s illegal for companies to discriminate against pregnant candidates and, once hired, illegal to sideline people if they become pregnant.

Of course, like all forms of discrimination, just because it’s illegal doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

One of the very few silver linings that this pandemic has awarded women has been the ability hide their pregnancies until the end, allowing them to continue in their field without

discrimination, though that only applies to those able to work remotely.

The Devil is a card that takes everything to 11, and that can include our anxieties and insecurities. Those awful downward spirals of dread and doom are certainly the work of the Devil. But it’s important to name the demon to cast him out, so be honest about your anxieties.

Are you worried that if you start trying for a baby now and become pregnant that you won’t get the job? If that was true (I’m not saying it is!) what would that look like for you and your husband? How would you be able to deal with the finances?

Money conversations can be anxiety inducing but they’re important to have.

So, should you wait?

If you and your husband feel ready and feel comfortable with all possible financial outcomes, why not start trying?

The Ace of Wands is all about new beginnings, new life, new wonders. It’s an incredibly creative card and pretty fortuitous in the act of creating babies. It’s also a great card for starting new projects, which could mean either this job or another one.

But, even if the cards weren’t positive ones, would you still want to wait? If you’re ready, you’re ready, and I think the excitement of having a baby outweighs the anxiety. So go ahead and join the world in waking up to new life.

Send your questions for the Oracle to oracle@ cltampa.com or DM @theyboracle on Instagram.

ORACLE OF YBOR

DMITRIY/ADOBE

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Drinking games

By Dan Savage

I’m a 40-year-old bi guy, and I’m really into drinking cum. I say “drinking” and not “swallowing” because I’m talking about glassfuls. I make and sell videos of me drinking large amounts of cum. Since I don’t have a stable of guys to supply me, I use frozen cum. It used to just be my own that I saved up over time, but I met a guy online a couple years ago that’s into feeding his cum to people like myself. I have some health concerns about it. First, could STIs survive the freezing-and-thawing process? I’ve already had a few glasses of his cum, so the boat has sailed regarding my current “cumbull,” as they’re known in my niche sexual community, but I’m looking at getting more donors. Second question, how much cum is safe to drink? And digest? It does give me an upset stomach, but I can usually handle that. But am I damaging myself by not taking my body’s prompt to throw it up? From the research I’ve done, it seems the zinc in cum is the biggest worry. Just 100 mls or so contains your daily required intake of zinc and too much zinc can have some negative health effects. I’m aiming to drink at least a liter in one video and don’t feel comfortable discussing this with my doctor. Could you contact a doctor for me?—Canadian Cumsumer P.S. I would’ve called into the podcast, but my sister is a listener, and I would rather not share this info with her.

second is, ‘How much is too much?’ Is it safe to drink large volumes of semen?”

Dr. Trebach looked at the medical literature, CC, but found it “extremely lacking” for individuals who freeze, thaw, and drink large amounts of semen. Yours is an underserved (except when you’re being overserved) and unrepresented (except on Twitter) population.

“But we do know that sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be transmitted from performing oral sex,” said Dr. Trebach. “This includes syphilis, herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and HIV. And while it’s tempting to assume the freezing and thawing process would create a less welcoming environment for STIs, there’s evidence to suggest some STIs survive the freezing process quite well. Gonorrhea can survive temperatures lower than -300 degrees Fahrenheit for over a year. Chlamydia has also been able to survive after being frozen.’’

Now, STIs are not spontaneously generated when semen comes into contact with saliva, of course, nor are they spontaneously generated when someone packs their cum in dry ice and ships it off to a stranger they met on the Internet.

“But given the lack of data for those that freeze, thaw, then drink semen, I would encourage anyone doing this to err on the side of caution and assume practically the same risks as performing oral sex,” said Dr. Trebach. “This means knowing the STI status of you and your partner(s) and engaging in appropriate prevention strategies, e.g., PrEP, and frequent STI testing.”

So, let’s say your cumbull has been tested and is currently STI-free and in a monogamous relationship with someone who has also been tested. Or tested, STIfree, and supplying his semen to men and women like you is his sole sexual outlet.

If that’s the case, CC, you shouldn’t let an exaggerated fear of contracting an STI stop you from pursuing this pleasure. That said, CC, the more cumbulls you add to your herd, the greater your risk for contracting an STI becomes.

Obviously. So, for safety’s sake where STIs are concerned, you should stick with your trusted supplier, even if that means longer waits between shoots.

As for your plan to drink an entire liter of cum in one video…

“So, how much is too much?” said Dr. Trebach.

“In toxicology, we use a concept called the ‘median lethal dose,’ or ‘LD50,’ to describe how toxic a given substance is. The LD50 is, basically, the quantity of a substance that would kill 50% of

Before anyone can jump in the comments and post “FAKE” in all caps, CC enclosed his Twitter handle in a post-post-script, which allowed me to verify that he’s for real. What’s more, a quick scroll through CC’s Twitter revealed that he’s not the only person out there methodically acquiring and chugging enormous amounts of semen. As it turns out, there’s a thriving community of “cumbulls” online who enjoy supplying, and even more cumguzzlers like CC who enjoy imbibing. (Sadly, CC asked me not to publish his Twitter handle, so you’ll just have to trust me: this letter is not a fake.)

Now, before I bring in the medical expert you hoped to hear from, CC, I wanna say this to my other readers: Nothing about CC’s kink appeals to me personally—it looks like way too much of a good thing—but CC and his cumbulls aren’t hurting anyone. Indeed, the world would be a better place if it had more Canadians like CC in it and fewer Canadians like those fascist assholes in trucks currently blocking border crossings.

OK! Let’s meet this week’s guest expert!

“It seems like there are two questions here,” said Dr. Josh Trebach, an emergency medicine physician and a medical toxicology fellow in New York City. “The first question is the risk of sexually-transmitted infections (STIs), the

JOE NEWTON

SAVAGE LOVE

people who were exposed to it—or in CC’s case, ingested it. It would be theoretically possible to extrapolate from human or animal data on the lethal dose of each individual ingredient (such as zinc) to come up with the LD50 of semen, but this would be theoretical and imprecise.”

And now a little science, a little math, and a little guesswork (from me, not Dr. Trebach): Zinc is a trace element that’s important for our immune systems, metabolic functions, our body’s ability to heal wounds, and the production of important enzymes. Adult males should ingest about 11 milligrams of zinc daily, a single teaspoon of semen contains about 3% of that, and there are 203 teaspoons in a liter. So, if you were to drink an entire liter of semen, CC, you would be ingesting roughly six times your daily recommended allowance of zinc, or 66 milligrams. Assuming you don’t have some other, undiagnosed health condition, that’s probably not enough zinc (or semen) to kill you, but it is enough to make you puke.

“My opinion is that if you’re drinking so much of anything that you feel like you’re going to vomit,

you should probably cut back, as that may be your body’s way of telling you something is wrong or that there is too much of something present,” said Dr. Trebach. “And continuous irritation to your gastrointestinal tract through direct injury, distension, and repeated exposure is not advised.”

And even if there might not be enough zinc in a liter of semen to kill you—or enough citric acid or fructose or potassium or cooties—that doesn’t mean it’s safe to quickly ingest a liter of it.

“An age-old adage in the world of toxicology is that the dose makes the poison,” said Dr.

Trebach. “Even things that may seem benign— water, candy, semen—can be deadly with a high enough dose, and you can have ‘toxic’ effects well below a lethal dose. In one liter of semen there’s enough sodium to surpass the recommended daily intake of sodium, and that’s just not really healthy.”

People have actually died from drinking too much water, CC. It’s rare, but it happens. And it stands to reason that if a person can die after drinking three-to-four liters of water over the course of a few hours—which, again, has happened—it wouldn’t surprise anyone to learn a person died after drinking an entire liter of semen over 140 seconds, i.e., the maximum length of a video clip posted to Twitter. You say you don’t want your sister finding out about your kink after hearing your voice on my podcast, CC, and I have to assume you don’t want your sister—or the rest of your family—finding out about your kink after hearing from the coroner.

I have a lot of mottos, CC, and one of them is, “Moderation in all things—including moderation.” Your kink is not my kink, CC, but your kink is OK, as the saying goes, and your kink is about the consumption of immoderate amounts of semen. But I would advise you, as I have advised many others, to be moderate about how often you’re immoderate. In your case, that means carefully choosing your cumbulls, puking when your body tells you to puke, and cutting back on the semen if your body needs to puke each time you do this.

Otherwise, enjoy.

But the final word goes to Dr. Trebach, who wanted to add a quick disclaimer: he hasn’t examined you or taken a full history and physical, CC, so he doesn’t want you to think this is true medical advice.

“And I know talking with a doctor about some of these issues is hard, but I like to think things are getting better. Today’s new doctors are, in my opinion, much more comfortable and open when answering questions about sexual health. Although some questions may be niche, we physicians owe our patients respect and confidentiality as we are here to help them, not make judgments.

Please find a doctor that you can discuss these questions with, so they can give you the best possibly recommendations.”

Follow @jtrebach on Twitter.

P.S. Good news, everybody! Just as I was wrapping up this column, CC responded to my email asking if he would reconsider and allow me to share his Twitter handle here. And he said yes! So, if there’s anyone out there who still thinks this letter is a fake, go have a look at @ zoesixxx on Twitter. Be warned: you’ll never order the chowder again.

Contact questions@savagelovecast.net, follow @FakeDanSavage on Twitter, then get columns, podcasts, books, merch and more at savage.love!

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | 53

54 | FEBRUARY 10 - 16, 2022 | cltampa.com

THE LAST NAME GAME (2)

by Merl Reagle 1 6 11 18 21 22 23 24 25 26 28 29 32 36 39

45 46 47 48 50 52 57 59 60 61 62 64 67 70 71 76 79 80

ACROSS The Grapes of Wrath clan “___ Joe’s” Gave rise to Late actor that Ms. MacLaine talks to?

Balloon buster Cute child star?

Change the name on “Life is ___ dream” PC exit “Yes, non?”

Mourning wetness It has an Apple menu Cops Disparaging Antibiotic discoverer, and not a moment too soon?

TV waitress General, in part “Aha!” Secretive one Tatters Actress who enjoys doing walk-ons?

Cyberpostings West Point grad who became pres. “___ always like this?” ___ good example Pacino-Depp crime drama, ___ Brasco Banned orchard spray Clumsy ones Scandal subject Author of Grand Canyon adventure stories?

Mimic A little Nevada game 1

2

3

113 ___ de vivre 9 The Matterhorn, 68 Cookout 114 Being broadcast 69 Tomato or for one 115 “Or ___!” potato, e.g.

10 Ringer?: abbr.

72 From the States: 117 Orator who lost to 11 Apple blossom McKinley and abbr. time Taft: inits.

73 Guy on a 12 Apple, for one 119 ___ instant junkyard set 13 Busy bug 120 Gun (the engine) 74 Portend 14 Toothpaste 75 Survey quickly 122 Marshall of ingredients money and 76 Circle section 15 Staff member? magazine fame 77 Booty 16 Ms. Fitzgerald 78 Early computer 123 Hungarian 17 The yearling in premier Nagy The Yearling, e.g. 82 “Hear ye” caller 124 Grizzly, to Gomez 18 The Well83 Change 126 Stout relative Tempered Clavier 84 Overfill composer: inits. 86 Time’s “Man ___” 127 Strength, in Latin 19 Sea sí 88 Number of Nights 129 Table scrap 130 Not Haggard’s 20 Car co. estab.

90 Swedish pop heroine in 1904 group 27 “For Official ___ 91 Balthazar’s guide 131 “___ luck?”

132 Droop Only” 94 Where things 133 NO followers 30 Tool on a pumper keep 31 Leg part cropping up 33 Idle of “wink wink, 95 Assortment nudge nudge” 96 Greek letters fame 97 Spanish lady 34 Church section 98 Lust, envy, etc.

35 TV Batman villain 103 Serious soap played by Joan 106 Bourbon, for one Collins PUZZLE FANS !

107 Darjeeling, for 37 “___ glad” For info on Merl's one 38 Rat Pack member 108 Kowalski or Kurtz Sunday crossword 39 Lone Star anthologies, visit portrayer.. landmark www.sunday 109 Accumulate, as 40 Newswoman Lara crosswords.com. interest 41 Nonsocial type 42 Lacking customers Solution to You’re All a Bunch of Animals 43 Moon vehicles E A S T E RN A S S E T S T OR E D 44 Jacks and S U B UR B I A B URRO C A N A P E CR A N EOP E R A T OR S OR EGON jackstraws, e.g.

R E T E N S U L U S L UG F E S T DOWN 45 Bedrock guy U K E A L SOR A N OR EO 1 King in 2 Kings 49 Actress Nelligan B A DG E RW I T N E S S E S T RUN K OOO R Y E T U L E S L AO 2 Day-Garner 51 Trig function A B S E N T E E R A B B I T P UNCH comedy, The 53 Close to F A I R S E X A K A E T E RN A L A R T S E NC I P H E R E E K Thrill ___ All 54 Szechuan-born R T E DUC K R E POR T E R S MOB 3 House type leader GO T RO L E P L A Y C A V E MOND I E U L E E E S S A Y E D 4 Beast’s mark 55 “Honey” H I P POC AMP U S A S P I R I N S minus 16 56 Sales add-on I R A A S A I R A I L AGO 5 Haggard’s heroine 58 Slangy hats S A L VO T H E G O L D F I S H B OW L P I E ONC E R E D V E S T 6 Extremes 63 It’s all in your mind C R OWB A R S D E S A C E E N A 7 Fills ___ 65 Kin of “Be specific” H A V E A T M A M M O T H S A V I N G S (finds a place) 66 Member of the jet O R E L S E O N E A L A C R E F E E T P A R S E S GA RN I MA L L A RD 8 Pro ___ set?

81 Arizona plants 85 Apt rhyme for 80 Across 87 Adams and Brickell 89 Atty. foes, often 92 Cleveland suburb 93 Playwright who’s always in hock?

99 Novgorod no 100 Glenn Close film, ___ Attraction 101 “___ be in England” 102 Court deposit 104 Compass pt.

105 First person to perform a heart transplant on a chicken?

110 Act up a storm 111 Russian ruler 112 Wine adjective 113 Rat Pack member 116 Untrained 118 Hot or thin stuff 121 Ad award or Muse 125 Away, in a way 128 Composer who ended up playing at high schools?

134 Vehement denial 135 Apt co-star of Midnight Cowboy?

136 Treacherous peak 137 Test out, as clothes 138 Diving bird

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