Scene September 19, 2018

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| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

| clevescene.com clevesce c nee.com m | September Sept p embe berr 19 - 25, 25, 201 2018 018

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Dedicated to Free Times founder Richard H. Siegel (1935-1993) and Scene founder Richard Kabat

Upfront

Group Publisher Chris Keating Publisher Andrew Zelman

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Cleveland leaders once again told to get their shit together, the local taco wars head to court, and more

Associate Publisher Angela Nagal Editor Vince Grzegorek

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CONTENTS

Editorial Music Editor Jeff Niesel Senior Writer Sam Allard Staff Writer BJ Colangelo Staff Writer Brett Zelman Web Editor Laura Morrison Dining Editor Douglas Trattner Stage Editor Christine Howey Visual Arts Writer Dott von Schneider Copy Editor Elaine Cicora Intern Gabrielle Greene

Feature

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Celebrating Cleveland’s odd, occult and otherworldly shops

Advertising Senior Multimedia Account Executive John Crobar, Shayne Rose Multimedia Account Executive Kiara Davis

'ET /UT

Creative Services Production Manager Steve Miluch Staff Photographer Emanuel Wallace

All the best things to do in Cleveland this week

Business Sales Assistant/Receptionist Megan Stimac Controller Kristy Dotson Circulation Circulation Director Don Kriss Euclid Media Group Chief Executive OfďŹ cer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating OfďŹ cers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP Digital Services Stacy Volhein Digital Operations Coordinator Jaime Monzon www.euclidmediagroup.com National Advertising Voice Media Group 1-800-278-9866, vmgadvertising.com

Stage

Mike Polk gets holy in An Act of God at the Beck Center

Film

Cleveland Scene 737 Bolivar Rd., #4100 Cleveland, OH 44115 www.clevescene.com Phone 216-241-7550 Retail & ClassiďŹ ed Fax 216-241-6275 Editorial Fax 216-802-7212 E-mail scene@clevescene.com

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Kristen Stewart and ChloĂŤ Sevigny make do with the messy Lizzie

Eat

Cleveland Scene Magazine is published every week by Euclid Media Group.

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Murano ďŹ lls a niche downtown, plus whole hog Sundays coming to Fat Heads

VeriďŹ ed Audit Member Cleveland Distribution Scene is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader Copyright The entire contents of Cleveland Scene Magazine are copyright 2018 by Euclid Media Group. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. Publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed above. Subscriptions $150 (1 yr); $80 (6 mos.) Send name, address and zip code with check or money order to the address listed above with the title ‘Attn: Subscription Department’

Music

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Matt and Kim talk about their unhinged live show, plus all the concerts to catch this week

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| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

UPFRONT PARADE OF IGNORANT IDIOTS PROTEST CUYAHOGA COUNTY’S LGBTQ+ PROTECTIONS ORDINANCE

Photos courtesy of County Council Livestream

CUYAHOGA COUNTY COUNCIL is currently considering a charter amendment and ordinance to protect LGBTQ+ residents and county employees from discrimination. Current protections for Cuyahoga County include race, color, religion, military status, national origin, disability, age, ancestry and gender. The ordinance would add sexual orientation and gender identification to that list. Six cities in Cuyahoga County, including Cleveland, already have these protections, covering 43 percent of county residents. The ordinance would move that percentage to 100. Equality Ohio learned ahead of last week’s council meeting that anti-LGBTQ+ extremists were planning on attending to bombard council members with opposition to the ordinance, despite the fact that a vote was not even scheduled. At one point during the meeting, a community member said that offering these protections to LGBTQ+ members would be the same as “protecting murderers.” (Cleveland, incidentally, has been responsible for one-seventh of the transgender murders nationwide in

2018, and the trans community is targeted for violence at an epidemic rate.) Another commenter claimed that elevating people’s identity to a place of “rights” is a “violation of others’ rights.” Many misunderstood the ordinance as some sort of bathroom bill. As expected, there were plenty who saw this legislation as an attack on religious freedoms, and many saw passing legislation that will have zero personal impact on them as an attack on their rights. The final speaker referred to the ordinance as an “alternative lifestyle ordinance,” and compared transgender women to pedophiles. He then complained that there weren’t as many people at a previous meeting about “killing babies,” confusing just about everyone in attendance. Viewers and observers expressed their shock and anger, including Ward 3 Cleveland city councilman Kerry McCormack, who encouraged others to contact the County Council to combat the bigotry. Fortunately, there was some relief. One couple tearfully shared their story about their transgender

daughter who experienced discrimination in her elementary school and was told by an administrator, “I’m sorry, but there are no laws to protect you.” A gay activist and teacher said that after attending meetings about similar ordinances across the county, East Cleveland is the only city where he hasn’t witnessed opposition of LGBTQ+ protection rights, noting that communities of color are consistently moving us forward. Kevin Schmotzer, Mayor Frank Jackson’s newly appointed LGBTQ+ liaison for the City of Cleveland, spoke about North Carolina losing $3.76 billion after passing their wildly offensive bathroom bill, as companies like PayPal chose to cancel plans on headquartering there while the NCAA withdrew the state from consideration as a host site for championships. He feared the same would happen in Cuyahoga County if we continue allowing open discrimination. County executive Armond Budish, along with councilmembers Houser, Brady, Miller, and Simon, sponsored the Human Rights ordinance. If approved, it would establish a commission that could

levy fi nes for discrimination against LGBTQ individuals. “Ohio law already makes it illegal to refuse a person a job or housing based on their race, age, religion, gender, disability — but Ohio law says it’s okay to discriminate against people who are LGBTQ,” Budish said in July when the ordinance was introduced. “That is wrong.” The ACLU supports the ordinance but says it doesn’t go far enough. “The ACLU must underscore the importance for Cuyahoga County Council to create a substantive Human Rights Commission, one that can do more than just levy fines to fund diversity education efforts, but also provide real remedies, especially recovery for the damages that victims of discrimination face. Any ordinance that creates the illusion of protection, while good intentioned, is problematic and inherently lacking in true justice, because it gives the impression that people who face discrimination have a real opportunity to have that wrong righted, when, in fact, this commission could potentially provide mere tokenisms, not real | clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

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UPFRONT and meaningful redress,” it said in July. The charter amendment that would add identity and gender expression to the list of protected classes for county employees, if approved, would appear on the Nov. 6 ballot. Additionally, Rep. Nickie Antonio is the primary sponsor of House Bill 160, proposed legislation that would offer protections for LGBTQ+ people across the entire state of Ohio that would override any potential lack of protections if Cuyahoga County’s protection

DIGIT WIDGET 26 PERCENT Portion of organ donors in Northeast Ohio in 2017 that died from an overdose, up from 7 percent in 2012. This year, some 312 lives were saved in NEO thanks to organ donation.

1 IN 5 Number of jobs in Cleveland held by a Cleveland resident, according to urban development expert Alan Mallach, and most times those are the lowest-paying jobs.

56 Cleveland homes tested for lead in water pipes, as part of routine testing. Half of all tests were performed at homes associated with city employees, city contractors, or Cleveland Water employees.

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| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

Black residents on Cleveland’s west side who formed an advocacy group, “Concerned Blacks Across the River,” in 1971 to combat their “sense of not belonging.”

ordinance does not pass. — BJ Colangelo

Akron’s James Hardy Tells Cleveland Leaders to ‘Get Shit Done’ Clevelanders need not look longingly to the coasts for dynamic civic leadership. Indeed, just 40 minutes south, a new cadre of Akron leaders are shaking up the city and pitching old-school leadership to solve new problems. “The disruptive innovation that needs to take place in Northeast Ohio,” said James Hardy, Akron’s deputy mayor and chief of staff, “is common sense. It’s as simple as checking one’s ego at the door and recognizing that we’re not going to solve infant mortality with an app. We’re not going to solve economic despair with some sort of innovation that comes out of anywhere but the systems that created it. We have to change the systems, radically, if we want to see innovation.” Hardy spoke as part of Flashstarts’ Pitch NEON innovation showcase last week, a TEDx-style series of presentations featuring local startups and innovators in the civic and corporate spheres. Both Bernie Moreno and Jon Pinney were on the roster, speaking about the Blockland initiative. MetroHealth’s CEO Dr. Akram Boutros presented too. He was the only speaker without an accompanying PowerPoint and spoke, unexpectedly, about the innovation on display at the Bernie Moreno Companies. The Urban League of Greater Cleveland’s Marsha Mockabee and Kent State University’s Beverly Warren were among the other high-profile presenters. A few of the early-stage companies that have participated in FlashStarts’ accelerator — Vlipsy, Hedgemon and Unbox the Dress — gave slick presentations that showed real promise and potentially game-changing innovations in their respective fields. But the star of the evening — from Scene’s perspective — was Hardy, who admitted that he could barely use his cell phone but stressed that civic innovation generally isn’t about technology. “I always hear that tech can solve 90 percent of my problems. An app will solve 90 percent of Akron’s problems,” he joked. “But

Photo courtesy of the City of Akron

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Akron deputy mayor and chief of staff, James Hardy.

when I see cities innovating in the modern economy, it’s more like 10 percent. The other 90 percent is getting your shit done.” (The title of Hardy’s presentation was “G.S.D.,” i.e., Getting Shit Done.) He cited a recent editorial in the Philadelphia Enquirer which suggested — in his paraphrasing — that “one of the most subversive and innovative things cities can do is maintain their shit.” He offered the Akron Civic Commons project as evidence, an example of multiple public agencies sharing their budgets and strategizing how to spend effectively with public input. “There’s this obsession with collaboration,” Hardy said, admitting he’s grown weary of Summit County leaders touting how well they collaborate. An identical situation exists in Cuyahoga County. Leaders love celebrating the region’s collaborative spirit, despite the dismal outcomes their collaborations have produced. (“Rhapsodizing about public private partnerships,” we wrote this summer, “is more or less [the Greater Cleveland Partnership’s] posture in repose.”) “It sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?” Hardy said. “If only we had shared interests and efforts, everything would be fine!” But he said collaboration wasn’t enough. For cities to succeed, they must move from collaboration to coordination, not just sharing interests but organizing people and

groups so that they actually work together. Brad Whitehead, president of the local Fund for our Economic Future, was on to something similar when he opined in the Plain Dealer in July that what the region needed, more than new big ideas, was “greater civic alignment and commitment to implementation at scale.” Hardy said that Akron’s recent systemic changes have been spurred by “once-in-a-generation” shifts in regional leadership. There is now a new mayor, a new Summit County Executive and a new president of the local chamber of commerce. Under this new triumvirate, Akron has completed a joint strategic plan across all three entities that “de-duplicates, strategizes how we’re going to deploy our funds so that no one spends money that somebody else is spending, and reorganizes ourselves to focus on local growth — innovation and entrepreneurship — in an inclusive economy.” Just being willing to be transparent about one’s budget and coordinating with other agencies’ budgets, Hardy said, has been pretty transformative. Lastly, Hardy suggested that the region should dispense with its “ridiculous notion” that each city in the region is its own entity that competes with its neighbors. “No one else does this,” he said. “We’ve got to get over this generational bull that says that whatever happens in Cleveland

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UPFRONT can’t happen in Akron and whatever happens in Akron can’t happen in Cleveland and oh, by the way, at least we’re not Youngstown. That’s never going to build this region. We’re in it together.� It was a TEDx-style talk, and Hardy offered a slam-dunk conclusion that we won’t try to improve upon. “We’ve seen a lot of apps today, and that’s wonderful,� he said. “But in the civic space, nothing replaces systemic change that’s aligned, coordinated and focused on real people solving real problems.� — Sam Allard

Barrio Sues Former Business Partner, Who Plans to Take Identical Restaurant to Pinecrest The owners of Barrio, the extremely popular Northeast Ohio chain of build-your-own taco restaurants, are taking a former business partner to court for gimmick infringement. Barrio’s “Day of the Deadâ€? (or DĂ­a de Muertos, for those who actually practice the sacred holiday and don’t appropriate it as a quirky design choice) aesthetic and the use-a-checklist-to-design-a-taco ordering style are also on display at the Condado Tacos chain. The lawsuit, ďŹ led in U.S. District Court in Cleveland last week and ďŹ rst reported by Cleveland.com, alleges that Joe Kahn and others behind Condado Tacos stole “trade secretsâ€? and violated an agreement Kahn entered into when he left a business partnership with Tommy Leneghan and Sean Fairbairn, the team that created Barrio. Before exiting, Kahn agreed not to do business under the name Barrio, to not use “any logo, trademark or service mark associatedâ€? with Barrio, which included the phrase “in the heart of ...â€?. Kahn also agreed not to open a Mexican restaurant within a twomile radius of Barrio’s locations for two years. To be fair, Kahn technically didn’t do any of those things. He merely opened his own chain of use-a-checklist-to-make-your-owntaco restaurants decked out in Day of the Dead “sugar skullâ€? style interior design that deliver food in tin foil and plastic baskets in

Columbus, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati and Indianapolis. Whether or not their doubledecker shells can hold a candle to the double-decker “stoner shellâ€? of Barrio is up for debate. Barrio hasn’t seemed to have any issue with Condado Tacos’ expanding popularity, until now. Kahn recently announced his plan to open a Condado Tacos in Northeast Ohio as part of the oh-so small-business-friendly Pinecrest Development in Orange Village, meaning Condado is ofďŹ cially creeping in on Barrio’s Northeast Ohio turf. The similarities between the two places are undeniable, but whether or not Barrio has a winning case due to Kahn’s agreement (which expired in 2016) not to open a restaurant within two miles of Barrio will be up to the courts to determine. Then again, by deďŹ nition, “Barrioâ€? means “a district of a town in Spain and Spanishspeaking countriesâ€? and “Condadoâ€? translates to just “county.â€? So clearly, they’re totally different places. — Colangelo

White Females Making More than $50K Want Better Public Transit, More Leadership Opportunities Respondents to an inaugural survey designed to capture the state of Northeast Ohio’s young professional community identiďŹ ed “public transportationâ€? as the region’s top challenge. The 650 young pros who participated, 86 percent of whom were white and 75 percent of whom were women, noted that they wanted to be more involved in civic leadership but felt hampered by existing demands on their time and an old guard unwilling to relinquish power. They pegged the region’s low cost of living and “natural assetsâ€? as the region’s top strengths. The nonproďŹ t Engage! Cleveland conducted the survey via email in June. Consultants at ERC compiled and analyzed the quantitative and qualitative data. The report summarizing ďŹ ndings was transparent about the survey’s demographics and methodology. While the survey was not representative of the population at large — 90 percent of respondents held a bachelor’s degree or

better; 60 percent made more than $50,000 per year — the results nevertheless echoed broad concerns about the region’s leaders. Last month, at the City Club, participants in a live poll (about a quarter of whom were black and the majority of whom were under 44) were asked to name the region’s top challenges. Eight of the 11 top responses had to do with stagnant or disengaged leadership. According to the respondents in the Engage! Cleveland survey, leadership woes afflict both the public and private sectors. In fact, not a single respondent selected “Government” as one of the region’s top-three assets from a list of about 15 options. “I honestly feel like the only thing holding YPs back is local government and their own interests in simply being re-elected and in power,” one respondent said. “We need a leadership change immediately.” But Cleveland’s private web of civic leaders was repeatedly mentioned as an insular group that’s biased against younger people and new ideas. “This is a do-your-time city,” said one respondent. “Many older professionals are myopic and

reluctant to relinquish any power. They will relegate you to a junior board, with little to no input.” Respondents were given the chance to identify priority areas of focus that would specifically help attract and retain young professionals. Employment opportunities, economic development and public transportation were the top three. — Allard

Inaugural Akron-Canton Passport Brew Tour Cancelled After Organizer Posts Sexist Beer Meme on Facebook Twenty breweries signed on to participate in the inaugural Passport Brew Tour, a craft beer trail organized by Akron’s Lunar Cow Publishing that was scheduled to run through the rest of the year. However, some tired-ass attempt at humor completely blew up in their faces and the tour is no more. “The craft beer industry is booming and beer enthusiasts have become more organized and social in their consumption of craft beer,” Lunar Cow president Benjamin

Harris said just before the trail’s launch. “The Passport Brew Tour not only promotes local breweries but also brings the participants together.” They apparently meant only some beer enthusiasts, since last weekend the company posted a “12 Reasons Why Beer is Better Than a Woman” meme on Facebook. Among the choice jokes: Frigid beer is good beer; you can enjoy beer every day of the month; you always know you’re the first one to pop a beer. Anyway, Lunar Cow has since deleted the post, but not before a righteous backlash. By last Monday, 18 of the 20 breweries had withdrawn their participation. Less than two weeks after the tour began, it was cancelled. “We don’t want anything to do with that tour,” Amanda Conrad, co-founder of Sandy Springs Brewing Co. told Ohio.com. “I’m just disgusted.” Conrad also said women bartenders started throwing away the Passport Brew Tour coasters that were provided to promote the program after seeing the post. “We will under no circumstance stand by or support such behavior,” wrote Shale Brewing in Jackson Township. “We are proud of and

stand by the women who work with us, the other strong women in the brewing industry and all the awesome women who love and enjoy craft beer!” In the meantime, the failed attempts at covering their asses posted on the Passport Brew Tour Facebook page have been deleted. On Monday morning, after breweries began dropping out, it wrote a response basically saying “We’re sorry if you were offended,” while simultaneously saying it has the “utmost respect for women.” JAFB Wooster Brewery founder Paul Fryman called the meme “100-percent offensive,” and the executive director of the Tuscarawas County Convention and Visitors Bureau said that all of the marketing materials for the tour were being recycled. Organizers were expecting more than 10,000 people to participate in the trail, which involved taking a “passport” to the stops and collecting stamps. Ben Harris, president of Lunar Cow, didn’t respond to a request for comment. — Colangelo

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FEATURE

S WE INCH CLOSER TO the ha the haun unti ting season, n, Hal allo looween E pr Ex pres ess, s, Spirit Haalllow ween and asso as sort rteed seasonal popp-u ups have up begu be gun n invading the aba baandoned stor st oref efronts of Cleve leve velaand nd like a zombie r tail invas re a io i n. And d though poorly manufacturred ed skeele letons and cheap Brid de of Fra rank n enstein n wigs will soon invaade your neighborhood, you should know that Cleveland is a damn fine place to celebrate year ’round all things odd, occult and otherworldly. Pagan Pride Fest took place the last week of August, and the Cleveland Witches Ball is set for Sachsenheim Hall on October 20. The city’s growing reputation as an arts epicenter and beacon for DIYers fosters an environment that celebrates unconventional and unusual creators. For the longest time, Mystic Imports and Distributors on East 55th Street, owned by, of all things, some Catholic folks, was the only place in town where Clevelanders could get their fix on alternative supplies, but a recent surge of shops showcase a little more slickness with the sinister. As astrology and the occult have gained popularity

Americans have been fascinated by Old World mysticism for centuries, but the prominence of biblical religions as well as scientific discovery has decidedly grown a generation of skeptics who doubt anything to do with the occult world. However, real-life unexplainable events and odd artifacts continue to tantalize and pique curiosities spanning generations. Luckily, Cleveland is home to a number of shops specializing in the real life horrors and strange artifacts that have kept people questioning and creeped out.

walls on the second floor, nestled between the bathrooms and the Blank Canvas Theatre, sits Pugsley’s Room. Named for the littlest member y, the “little of the Addams Family oddity shop that could” is run by owners and operators Jaime and Robin Gonzalez. Taxidermy animals, vintage books, unique jewelry, oneof-a-kind art, horror memorabilia, creepy dolls and religious artifacts are just some of the items adorning the bright orange walls of the shop. Their space may be small, but during the popular Third Friday events at 78th Street Studios, Puglsey’s Room is typically packed shoulder-to-shoulder with eager art fans dying to get a glimpse of the petrified bats on the wall, or seeking out a vintage ventriloquist dummy to hold up and scare a loved one.

Pugsley’s Room

Cabinet of Curiosities

78th Street Studios, 1300 West 78th St. A journey through the winding stairways and corridors of 78th Street Studios’ industrial building is one exploding with artistic expression, thanks to more than 50 art galleries, shops, businesses and performance spaces. Behind gallery

4069 Erie St., Willoughby Inspired by the Victorian penchant for collecting curiosities and oddities, Cabinet of Curiosities in historic downtown Willoughby feels like taking a step into another world. Specializing in haunted artifacts and macabre antiques, this shop has

in recent years, Cleveland has been quick to offer brick and mortar shops to accommodate the growing need for all things creepy.

Real L ife Horrors

been keeeeepi p ng Cle pi l velaand d cre r ep epy y si since sinc ncce 2011. Thee Caabi Th binet nee of Curio uriosi ioositi siti t es is pa part rtrt owne ned d by Gaarry ry Mi Mich c aaeel Caalllah ch ahan aha an, an, as par art of Liifffe’ e’s Si Simp m le Treeas mp a ur urees es antiqu quee sh shop op.. Ca Call Call l ah han a als l o re rent ntss nt space at Antiq tique uees and d Un Uniq ique ues in Wickliffe, offering even moree opportunities for people to explore his collection of kooky and quirky items. As is common with most oddities shops, taxidermy and creepy dolls are not in short supply, but uncommon items like vintage mannequins and metal embossed fireplace mantels and surrounds are also available. However, it’s the personalized charm of the owners and their wealth of knowledge about their items that are sure to guarantee a sale.

Cleveland Curiosities 13375 Madison Ave., Lakewood Clement Kunkle and Hallie Wallace are easily the youngest shop owners on this list, but Cleveland Curiosities is arguably the best oddities shop in the city, if not the entire region. Kunkle has been dabbling in the world of oddities for nearly eight years, and his | clevescene.com m | September 19 - 25, 2018

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taxidermy and supplies have been used in both My Friend Dahmer and American Horror Story. After years of being one of the premier sources for all things weird and unique, the couple finally opened up their own shop in August. The shop is home to exotic and rare items including those of the human persuasion, but the authentic pieces come to the shop from all over the world, including tribal pieces that even the Cleveland Museum of Natural History doesn’t possess. The walls are adorned with taxidermic animal heads, skeletons, antique medical equipment, handmade dental phantoms and eye-catching artwork. The animal heads’ eyes seem to follow you no matter where you walk. Skulls (both human and animal), etymology boxes, antique books, post-mortem photography, vintage advertising sheets and other ephemera, daguerreotypes, vintage freak show/circus banners, antique religious iconography, Victorian caskets, embalming bottles and antique medical supplies merely scratch the surface of the weird and wild items available for purchase. In addition, Kunkle and Wallace will also be offering custom workshops, including a two-day bat pinning class and a two-day etymology class where customers can properly pin and showcase their own bat/insect in a frame and take it home as a forever keepsake.

Spook y T hreads

For many people, an interest in the weird or wacky is more than just a hobby; it’s a lifestyle.

One of the easiest ways for creeps to find one another is by looking for similar markings, not unlike animals looking for their pack. Alternative clothing is extremely popular and easy to find thanks to online shopping, but trying to find the perfect fit with an in-person try-on is growing more and more difficult. Fortunately, there are a variety of brick and mortar stores offering seasonal spooky threads (like the plus-size shop ReDress at 17140 Madison Ave. in Lakewood), but there are a handful that provide the ability to dress to express year round.

Starship Earth 16880 Lorain Rd. The absolutely out-of-this-world Starship Earth proudly serves as the year-round Halloween headquarters for costumes and novelties for Northeast Ohio. Fully realized costumes, props, wigs, makeup, masks, jewelry and anything else your heart desires can all be found within the black brick building in West Park. Smacked between a Gyro World and Future Kids Daycare and Activity Center, Starship Earth’s windows are packed with mannequin heads displaying masks both hilarious and horrifying and wigs of every size, length and color imaginable.

The Mission Boutique 16604 Lorain Rd. After nearly 30 years in Lakewood, the Mission Boutique has picked up their extensive selection of corsets, exotic dancewear, dancer shoes, alternative clothing,

Photo by Emanuel Wallace

purses, accessories, fetish wear and Goth apparel to the West Park neighborhood, just a few blocks down from Starship Earth. Handbags adorned with the face of Vampira, spiderweb blouses, dresses covered in vintage jack-o’lanterns, zombie housewife aprons, Lucky 13 men’s work shirts and inverted cross fishnet tights are just some of the spooky items one can garner from the racks of the Mission. Accessories like jewelry, wigs, false eyelashes and petticoats are also available, and they’re one of the only places in town that carries brands like Sourpuss, Hell Bunny, Tripp NYC and Kreepsville 666 clothing. Most dancer/fetish wear shops tend to cater to standard sizes, but the Mission Boutique has a surprisingly extensive collection of plus-size clothing.

Chelsea’s Costumes and Vintage Clothing 1412 West 116th St. Boasting over 100,000 costumes and likely over a million individual pieces, Chelsea’s Costume Shop and Vintage Clothing has long been a staple of Cleveland’s creepy and creative community. Run by Nancy Wilson, it offers costume pieces for

just about every theme and every situation. Differing from a more traditional costume shop that may be lined with walls of cheap replica costumes in plastic bags, Chelsea’s includes authentic and vintage pieces. For years, Wilson would scour thrift stores and garage sales for new pieces, but at this point, people tend to just bring pieces to her personally. Not just a shop for individual costumes, Chelsea’s is also a source for many theaters and performing arts groups. Having the supply to turn an entire group into different people for a night is quite appealing. Chelsea’s also offers rentals, so those looking to have a killer new look for a night don’t have to invest in a permanent purchase.

Cult Culture

Sharing a similar interest or aesthetic is one way to bring likeminded individuals together, but without any sort of social gatherings, having a community of creeps with nowhere to go relegates hangouts to independent and unofficial planning. Every social group deserves to have their Cheers or their Empire Records and Cleveland is home to plenty of haunts where creeps can safely

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The Mummy and the Monkey’s Thrift Crypt 13349 Madison Ave., Lakewood Horror hosts, entertainers and shop owners, Janet Decay the Mummy and Grimm Gorri the Monkey (played by real life husband and wife Janet Jay and James Harmon) recently opened up a little horror shop in Lakewood specializing in creepy consignment, spooky collectables, unique art, Cleveland-based independent films, vintage wares and the timeless glory

of VHS tapes. With a little over a year under its belt, the Mummy and the Monkey’s Thrift Crypt resale shop has played home to some events unlike anything ever offered to the community. Last April, the Thrift Crypt featured the work of Cleveland artists and toy makers Rick Sans and Serganddestroy, who create original resin sculptures and upcycled action figures as creepy custom creations. The duo also creates skateboard deck and vinyl record art, which Thrift Crypt proudly displayed and sold. The Mummy and the Monkey

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FEATURE have been staples at the biannual Cinema Wasteland convention for years, so the expansion to a brick and mortar location for their fanbase to congregate yearround was the next logical step. T-shirt trades, live music on the sidewalk, art showcases, and an endless loop of The Mummy and the Monkey’s horror hosting streaming channel have created a tight-knit community of fans and developed shop “regulars” who attend all of the Thrift Crypt events.

Weird Realms 11508 Lorain Ave. Just under 2 years old, Weird Realms serves as Cleveland’s central haven for nerds. On the surface, it would be easy to dismiss the shop as nothing more than a record/book store or a board-game locale, but the community composed of Weird Realms’ patrons is otherwordly, and a major part of the shop’s charm. With a wall adorned by an 8-footby-16-foot mural of post-apocalyptic artwork from Cleveland illustrator Jake Kelly, Weird Realms is like

a fantasy land of Lovecraftian fascinations, with deep roots in Dungeons and Dragons. The shop utilizes a private Facebook group for patrons to schedule and arrange game-play nights, and frequently hosts role-playing nights for adventure, sci-fi, and horror games. Outside of the game-playing offerings, Weird Realms’ collection of books is certifiably creepy. Fantasy, horror, science-fiction and other alternative genres line the bookcases of the shop, providing the creeps of Cleveland a chance to open a page and step into a new world.

The Black Market 5407 Detroit Ave. Since 2015, the Black Market has solidified itself as Cleveland’s go-to stop for all things alternative. While the spot is a haven for weirdos looking to purchase items outside of the norm, the popularity of the Black Market’s alternative yoga classes has also turned the location into one of the most enticing spots in Gordon Square. With offerings like Doomyasa (Doom Metal Yoga), Doom and Drone Guided Meditation, Yin Yoga, Wild Freedom Punk Yoga and Goth Yoga, there are plenty of opportunities for Clevelanders to align their

chakras to hard rockin’ tunes. Past offerings include Heavy Metal Yoga, Prog-metal Yoga, Hardcore and astrologically themed classes. The Black Market is also home to a number of pop-up shops featuring everything from VHS tapes to vintage clothing. The brick and mortar store’s roots stretch to the annual Heavy Metal Flea Market, an event the Black Market still hosts, in addition to the yearly Halloween Flea Market. Throw in some live music, tarot card readings and the chance to take a holiday photo with Krampus himself, and the Black Market truly proves itself the best place in town for Cleveland’s creepy culture.

Al l T hem Witches

It’s pretty neat that, thanks to things like Sephora’s (temporary) decision to sell a “starter witch kit,” people are now more openly discussing witchcraft and removing the stigma attached to the practice. But the unfortunate reality is that witchcraft has also become victim to trendy commodification. Being a “witch” might be a fun and fashionable aesthetic for some, but it’s also a legitimate religion that has been suffering from negative

stereotypes for centuries. Practicing witchcraft/Wicca/ paganism/magick demands a sincere level of dedication, and rather than purchasing something that pop culture has decided is the new hotness, you can visit an emporium like Mystic Imports Distributors (1872 East 55th St.) for authentic materials, or visit one of these brick and mortar stores with witches onsite to offer a safe and educational way into the world of witchcraft.

The New Moon 15729 Madison Ave., Lakewood Witches and familiars welcome! This week marks the continuation of the “magickal” takeover of Lakewood, as the New Moon metaphysical shop celebrated its grand opening this past Saturday. After a soft summer opening, New Moon has been serving as a neutral space to learn, grow and find one’s unique practice. Readers and healers are on hand, as well as beautiful creations from local artists. Anyone looking for guidance, in need of some magick, or seeking a new way to find enlightenment will be sure to find something suitable. The New Moon is also the new hub of Chaos Paranormal, a paranormal investigation team that conducts classes and investigations out of

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the shop. The crew recently did an investigation inside Hillview Manor in Pennsylvania, and even streamed the entire investigation on Facebook Live. With a sign advertising “broom parking” and a black cat named Aleister as the unofficial shop greeter, New Moon leans heavily into its witchy roots, ones that people may not realize have little to do with eye of newt and toe of frog. Contemporary witchcraft is a religion for those looking to positively connect to the world around them through nature and being in tune with the universe as a whole. Mystical offerings like tarot cards and cosmic dust are staples at the shop, but herbs, oils, candles and stones are far more populous for purchase.

Buckland Museum of Witchcraft & Magick 2676 West 14th St. Raymond Buckland started the Buckland Museum of Witchcraft and Magick in 1966. After visiting the late Gerald Gardner and his collection on the Isle of Man, Buckland was inspired to start a collection of his own. Across the course of fifty years, the museum moved from New York City to New Hampshire to New Orleans before settling here in Ohio. The museum, currently under restoration, features over 500 artifacts, ranging from ancient Egyptian ushabtis to documented artifacts from the Salem witch trials. Not just a museum, the Buckland is also home to events throughout the year including seances and tealeaf readings, continuing to cater to those who wish to worship or speak differently than the norm. The museum does include plenty of merchandise for patrons to remember their visit by, including T-shirts, buttons, mugs, posters and even Buckland’s Complete Book of Witchcraft. Visiting the museum is a fascinating way to educate oneself on

the history of witches, and realize just how important the current wave of positive representation of the religion truly is for the witching community.

Coven 1384 Bonnieview Ave., Lakewood A beautiful shop that provides magical provisions for the modern feminist witch, Coven is a place where someone can come to dip their toe into the world of witchcraft, as well as to see if it’s a path they would like to explore. Witchy supplies like herbs, candles, sage, anointing oils and healing crystals adorn the shelves of the shop, but if legitimate witchcraft isn’t your thing, aesthetically witchy items are also available, such as a Beyoncé worship candle or a T-shirt with a phrase like “Cunty Vibes.” Coven also offers artisan skincare, teas, bath salts, room sprays and jewelry handcrafted by women, in addition to the fabulous Lake Witch’s Spellkits, authentic witch kits made by an actual witch, not something mass produced and sold next to lip plumper in the middle of a JC Penny. More than just a store, Coven can also supply visitors with a supernatural experience. Candle carving, anointing and blessing are available in-store, along with the chance to make your own mojo bag with the help of Coven’s staff. The store opened its doors in July, and opening weekend boasted shoulder-to-shoulder patrons vying for a look inside the witch’s sanctuary. Local artists like BiasedArt have created custom witchy notebooks and tarot decks for believers looking for something with contemporary flair, and the stock is constantly changing, inspiring visitors to come back again and again.

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| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

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GET OUT everything you should do this week Photos by Steve Wagner

WED

09/19

ART

Henry Rollins The former frontman of the monumental punk band Black Flag, Henry Rollins has spent the past three decades establishing himself as a true Renaissance man. A performer, writer, journalist, publisher, actor, comedian, radio host, motivational speaker, activist, voice-over actor, musician and now photographer, Henry Rollins is a living cultural icon. His most recent endeavor, the Henry Rollins Travel Slideshow Tour, is a special performance drawing on his personal experiences generating his vast archive of photographs. Rollins’ exhibition contains stories from journeys all over the world, including the Middle East, Africa, Central Asia, South America and Antarctica. Rollins has been documenting his travels for many years, and this performance is a comprehensive look at his life’s journeys. He says that the more he’s been traveling, the less gear he tries to take. Armed with a Canon 5D and medium and wide lenses, Rollins carries all of the gear on his back for weeks at a time. Rollins isn’t sharing his photos just to show off his incredible adventures, but also to inspire others to step outside of their comfort zone and explore the world around them. The show comes to the Ohio Theatre at 8 tonight. Tickets are $35. (BJ Colangelo) 1501 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org. BEER

Hoppy Hour The Cleveland Botanical Garden offers an educational take on beer tasting with its weekly Hoppy Hour, which comes ’round today from 5:30 to 8:30. You can sample pale ales, dark lagers and other cool craft brews while discussing hops and horticulture with Botanical Garden staff and experts from a guest brewery. Admission is $5, but is free for members. Twelve-ounce beers are $4, while a tasting flight is $6. Also, there will be fire pits, lawn games, flashlight garden tours and seasonal dinner specials from the Garden Cafe. Tastings continue through Oct. 24. (Jeff Niesel) 11030 East Blvd., 216-721-1600, cbgarden.org.

FireFish Festival returns to Lorain. See: Friday

Indians vs. Chicago White Sox While the Chicago White Sox will end this season with a losing record, the young team has steadily improved throughout the season. In August, the squad won more games than it lost as its rookies have started to blossom. Expect them to give the Tribe a tough time when the two teams match up tonight at 7:10 p.m. at Progressive Field. Tickets start at $15. (Niesel) 2401 Ontario St., 216-420-4487, clevelandindians.com.

patch. In addition to the regularly scheduled Sharks & Scuba talks and a stingray feed, International Talk Like A Pirate Day activities include the opportunity to craft your own pirate accessories, enjoy appearances by friendly land shark Finn, and a chance to win prizes or a yearlong family pass by embarking on a scavenger hunt for “hidden treasure” in the exhibits. The museum is open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Check the website for ticket prices. (Niesel) 2000 Sycamore St., 216-862-8803, greaterclevelandaquarium.com.

FAMILY FUN

FOOD

International Talk Like a Pirate Day Way back in 1995, John Bauer and Mark Summers proclaimed Sept. 19 should forever be known as a day when we should all talk like pirates. The Greater Cleveland Aquarium has embraced the resulting International Talk Like a Pirate Day (ITLAPD) and makes it a point to celebrate the date each year. Today, if you come dressed as a pirate or read a randomly selected phrase while doing your best pirate impression, you’ll receive $5 off your admission. The first 75 guests who attempt to utter an ITLAPD phrase at the ticket counter will receive an eye

Walnut Wednesday Summer is almost over, but Walnut Wednesday remains one of the season’s great traditions. Today, it continues from 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. at Perk Plaza at Chester Commons — at East 12th and Walnut streets — as food trucks gather to serve up lunch to area residents and employees. Check out the Downtown Cleveland Alliance website for weekly updates on vendors, entertainment offerings and more. But hurry: Sept. 26 is the last Walnut Wednesday this year. Admission is free, but the food will cost you. (Niesel) downtowncleveland.com.

SPORTS

THEATER

The Woman in Black Tonight at 7:30 at the Allen Theatre, the Cleveland Play House takes on The Woman in Black, a play that was a hit on London’s West End. The ghost story centers on a guy who never believed in the supernatural until he came face to face with an apparition. Tickets start at $25, and performances continue through Oct. 7. (Niesel) 1407 Euclid Ave., 216- 241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

THU

09/20

FILM

American Poltergeist Local horror-film maker, Eddie Lengyel, returns with American Poltergeist: The Curse of Lilith Ratchet, a film that centers on a woman and her friend who put a curse into motion after they acquire a shrunken head. They take the thing to a paranormal podcast host who helps them determine its identity, and they subsequently unleash a dead woman’s evil spirit in the process. The movie makes its world premiere tonight at 7 at Atlas | clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

17

GET OUT Cinema 7 in Euclid. Tickets are $10. (Niesel) 22624 Lake Shore Blvd., Euclid, 216-731-1700.

that includes a brand-new piece by the orchestra’s assistant principal oboist Jeffrey Rathbun. The night will also include a performance of Tchaikovsky’s first great ballet score, Swan Lake. The orchestra will also take on a piece by Danish composer Hans Abrahamsen, written for

Studios. More than 50 studios and galleries will participate in this popular indoor art walk; be sure to check out spots like the Derek Hess Gallery, Tregoning & Company and Hilary Gent Studio for a chance to shop and interact with artists. Look for food trucks out front and live

tasting takes place from 7 to 10. Tickets are $40, or $30 for pass holders. Designated drivers pay $20. Admission includes 20 sample tickets and a souvenir glass, as well as full after-hours access to the aquarium. (Niesel) 2000 Sycamore St., 216-862-8803, greaterclevelandaquarium.com.

MUSIC

COMEDY

A Celebration of the Life and Career of Nick DeCaro During his career, the late Nick DeCaro collaborated on more than 380 albums and worked with the likes of Dolly Parton, Randy Newman, Barbra Streisand, Johnny Cash, the Rolling Stones, Arlo Guthrie and the Doobie Brothers. An accordionist, DeCaro has also performed on over 70 recordings for Grammy-winning artists and albums. As part of the Library & Archives NEO Sound initiative, an archival collection of personal items and library materials that “preserve Northeast Ohio’s cultural heritage and the region’s significant contributions to rock & roll history,” the Library & Archives Reading Room will celebrate DeCaro’s career with a special program tonight at 6. The reception will feature displays of DeCaro artifacts from the Rock Hall’s vaults. Items include handwritten scores and arrangements, lyrics, music books, sheet music, albums, photographs and the accordion DeCaro played on the Rolling Stones’ “Back Street Girl.” (Niesel) 2809 Woodland Ave., 216-515-1956, library.rockhall.com.

Bill Bellamy If comic Bill Bellamy did nothing more than coin the phrase “booty call,” he’d go down in comic history. But the guy has been a staple on the standup circuit for nearly 30 years now. His star power hasn’t diminished over that time, either. Currently the host of his own TV show, Who’s Got Jokes, he was also a regular on Chelsea Lately. His material tends to stick to triedand-true topics like the differences between men and women when it comes to romantic love, and surviving the trials and tribulations of getting through security at the airport. Still, this guy is a pro storyteller who knows how to work the room. He performs tonight at 7:30 and 10 at the Improv, where he has shows scheduled through Sunday. Tickets are $25. (Niesel) 1148 Main Ave., 216-696-IMPROV, clevelandimprov.com. FUNDRAISER

Stay Tuned: Rock On TV looks at how this medium brought artists into our living rooms, changed the way we experienced their music and how those performances revolutionized TV itself.

SPOKEN WORD

Jonathan Haidt Jonathan Haidt is a social psychologist at New York University’s Stern School of Business. Haidt’s research examines the intuitive foundations of morality, and how morality varies across cultures — including the cultures of American progressives, conservatives and libertarians. Haidt is the author of The Happiness Hypothesis and The New York Times bestseller The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion. He speaks tonight at 6 at Silver Hall in the Milton and Tamar Maltz Performing Arts Center at the Temple-Tifereth Israel. Reserve your free seats on the website. (Niesel) 1855 Ansel Rd., 216-368-0295, case.edu/maltzcenter.

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just one hand. The concert beings tonight at 7:30 and it repeats at 8 on Saturday night. (Niesel) 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.

FRI

09/21

MUSIC

ART

Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake The Cleveland Orchestra kicks off its 101st season with a special program

78th Street Studios Third Friday Art Walk Time again for the Third Friday Art Walk at the cavernous 78th Street

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| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

music on the first floor. Hours are 5 to 9 p.m. and admission is free. (Niesel) 1300 West 78th St., 78thstreetstudios.com. WINE

Adult Swim Dubbed Adult Swim: An Underwater Tasting Adventure, tonight’s allwines tasting event at the Greater Cleveland Aquarium will feature a variety of wines. Light hors d’oeuvres will be served. The

DinoShow: Art & Autism DinoShow: Art & Autism, a benefit that takes place today from 6 to 9 p.m. at the Derek Hess Gallery, will raise money for Connecting for Kids, a nonprofit with a mission to provide education and support to families with concerns about their child. The event will feature local artists Derek Hess, Tim (Tim Jim) Eakin, Aaron (OKPants) Sechrist, Angela Oster and others who interpreted the artwork of children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). The show will highlight the work of 10 children who were asked to draw their favorite dinosaur. Each piece was then given to a professional artist whose job was to create his or her own representation of the child’s drawing in any medium. The exhibit provides “an opportunity for children with ASD to express themselves through art” and have their work hung in a professional gallery. The event is produced in collaboration with the Child & Adolescent Research Department at University Hospitals Cleveland Medical Center, and all proceeds will be donated directly to Connecting for Kids. (Niesel) 1300 West 78th St., 216-288-4868, derekhess.com.

FESTIVAL

Fire Fish Festival Launched four years ago, the FireFish Festival transforms downtown Lorain into a stage for vibrant arts performances. This year’s event will take place from 4 to 11 p.m. today and tomorrow. Organizers promise there will be even more diversity in art and performances. The festival will conclude with “the most spectacular fiery finale yet with an interactive component and theme of ‘release.’” Tonight will feature headliner Carlos Jones & the P.L.U.S. Band. Tomorrow night will feature “non-stop” international music, dance, theater, art and fire performers — both on stages and in the hidden alleys, empty storefronts, balconies and fire escapes on Broadway Avenue. The dance group Jasmine Dragons will be on hand as will Sammy De Leon and his fusion/salsa band, Oberlin samba dancer Alysia Ramos, the Exotic Fruit Club and the Great Lakes Light Opera. It will all lead up to a “one-of-kind” spectacle of the burning of the fish, a giant sculpture designed and choreographed by interdisciplinary theater and performance artist Daniel McNamara (alumni of the Bread and Puppet Theater.) In keeping with the theme of “release,” patrons can bring flammable artifacts to a ceremonial bamboo altar which, when it burns along with the fish, will symbolize letting go of the past. Community members, students and teen arts apprentices from the Lorain County Community College’s Summer STEAM Teen Academy will create the centerpiece of the festival, the giant FireFish sculpture that comes to life spewing fire. The fish will be created from upcycled paper and cardboard. Admission is free. (Niesel) firefishfestival.com. SPORTS

Indians vs. Boston Red Sox When the Indians played the Boston Red Sox last month in Boston, they managed to split the series against the best team in baseball. Tonight at 7:10 at Progressive Field, the two teams begin a three-game series. These games should be tight ones and a good test for the playoffs. Tickets start at $15. (Niesel) 2401 Ontario St., 216-420-4487, clevelandindians.com. FILM

Kusama — Infinity Seventeen years in the making, Kusama — Infinity, a new documentary film about visual artist Yayoi Kusama, debuted at this year’s Sundance Film Festival

and also screened at the Cleveland International Film Festival. An Akron native, director Heather Lenz uses archival photos, letters and film clips to paint a portrait of Kusama, who currently has a major exhibit on view at the Cleveland Museum of Art. The film screens tonight at 7 at the Cleveland Museum of Art. Tickets are $12, or $9 for CMA members. (Niesel) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org. THEATER

Plath & Orion Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton, Pulitzer Prize-winning American poets, were known for personal verse that furthered the genre dubbed confessional poetry. Two one-act plays — Lanford Wilson’s The Great Nebula Orion and Greg Cesear’s Plath, Sexton and the Art of Confession — depict a chance meeting and “catch-up” conversation between the two women as the poets address their thoughts and comments directly to the audience. Produced by the Cesear’s Forum theater company, the “companion play” performances takes place tonight at 8 at Kennedy’s Theatre; additional performances continue through Oct. 14. Tickets are $18. (Niesel) 1501 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org. MUSIC

Relax And Float Upstream: Behind The Beatles’ Seminal Revolver Album A couple of years back, local Bowiephile Thomas Mulready began hosting “An Evening With(out) David Bowie,” an in-depth presentation featuring rare video clips, “needle drops,” obscure cuts and recently surfaced details regarding the Thin White Duke. The show offered “a multitude of factoids and littleknown background informed by a framework of themes the artist mined at every stage of his career, right up to his untimely passing and beyond.” Now Mulready has turned his attention to the Beatles’ albums Revolver and The White Album. Tonight at the Bop Stop, he’ll present “Relax and Float Upstream: Behind the Beatles’ Masterpiece Revolver.” He’ll talk about how Revolver was recorded at a pivotal time for the group, which had just performed at Shea Stadium and had yet to record Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. He’ll divide the program into two segments with separate admission prices. The first will focus on Side A, and the second will focus on Side B. The lectures start at 8 and 9:30 p.m., respectively. Tickets | clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

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are $25. Tomorrow, in a program dubbed “(secrets of the white album),” he’ll talk about The White Album and explain why the Beatles embraced transcendental meditation and renounced their use of drugs. He’ll discuss Album 1 at 8 p.m. and Album 2 at 9:30 p.m. Once again, tickets $25. (Niesel) 2920 Detroit Ave., 216-771-6551, themusicsettlement.org. MEN! MEN! MEN!

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Ambrosia Orleans Sat. Sept. 29

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Thunder From Down Under The press release promoting the latest appearance by the group of burly hunks who call themselves the Thunder From Down Under boasts that they’ll provide “the perfect girls’ night outback,” a reference to their Aussie heritage. Expect “seductive dance routines, cheeky humor and boy-next-door charm” from these topless dancers. The group performs tonight and tomorrow night at 7 and 10 at Club Velvet at the Hard Rock Rocksino at Northfield Park. Tickets start at $29.95. (Niesel) 10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330-908-7771, hrrocksinonorthfieldpark.com.

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| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

SUN

09/23

FILM + SPOKEN WORD

William Shatner William Shatner may be older than your grandparents, but this famed actor, singer and cheeseball refuses to throw in the towel. At 87, Shatner plans to appear at the Akron Civic Theatre today at 5 p.m. for a screening of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, one of the most critically acclaimed films of the entire Star Trek film universe. Following the showing, Captain Kirk himself will take to the stage to answer fans’ burning questions. He’ll also no doubt tell a bunch of stories about himself, a subject he knows well. The film screening and talk is just part of a recent spate of shows put on by the Canadian legend. Tickets start at $53.25. VIP packages are also available for those willing to shell out the dough. You can even get your picture taken with the actor. (Laura Morrison) 182 South Main St., Akron, 330-253-2488, akroncivic.com.

FUNDRAISER

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Dancing with the Docs The Auxiliary of University Hospitals funds 70 programs, including A Celebration of Lives, Pediatric Bereavement Support, Be Our Guest, Pet Pals, NICY Breastfeeding Program. Dancing with Docs, a benefit that takes place tonight at Executive Caterers at Landerhaven, raises funds for these programs. The event begins at 6 with a cocktail reception; dinner and dancing follows at 7 p.m. Consult the website for ticket prices and more info. (Niesel) 6111 Landerhaven Dr., 440-449-0700, uhgiving.org/dancingwiththedocs.

Sunday Beat As part of a Sunday Beat promotion at Visible Voice Books, if you purchase a New York Times at the store, you’ll receive a free cup of coffee or tea and a Jim Alesci’s Place pastry. An added bonus: A jazz, Americana, samba or bossa nova band will perform from 1:30 to 3:30 p.m. Anyone who shows a Sunday receipt from Music Box, Prosperity Social Club or any of the Tremont restaurants that offer brunch can enter a same-day drawing for a $30 Visible Voice gift certificate and a $25 Visible Voice Loyalty Card. They’ll also receive 10 percent off any Visible Voice book purchase. Today’s hours are 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. (Niesel) 2258 Professor Ave., 216-961-0084, visiblevoicebooks.com.

FOOD

Crystal Bowersox

ciabatta bread. Plus, the Beer Engine has a vast beer selection, so if Sierra Nevada and Weihenstephaner aren’t to your liking, you’ll have plenty of other options. Order tickets on the Beer Engine website. (Niesel) 15315 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216-226-2337, buckeyebeerengine.com.

Pigtoberfest Today from noon to 7 p.m., the Beer Engine in Lakewood hosts a special Pigtoberfest. The folks there hope it will be the first of many such annual events. Sierra Nevada and Weihenstephaner beers will be served by the stein. The $15 tickets includes a plate of pork with Engine BBQ sauce, house-made German potato salad, corn on the cob and garlic

MON

09/24

MUSIC

Meet Singer-Songwriter Kim Richey A former professional chef, Kim Richey got her first record deal when she was nearly 40 years old, but that

hasn’t stood in the way of having a successful career. She’s co-written hits for Trisha Yearwood and Radney Foster and written songs for Dixie Chicks, Jim Lauderdale, Brooks & Dunn and Patty Loveless. Her vocals also appear on albums by Ryan Adams and Shawn Colvin. Tonight at 7 at the Parma-Snow Branch of the Cuyahoga County Public Library, she’ll talk about her career and perform some songs too. Local singer-songwriter Marti Jones will join her. Jones signed to A&M records in the 1980s and released three albums that “helped define the trajectory of Americana.” Check the library website for more details. (Niesel) 2121 Snow Rd., Parma, 216-661-4240, cuyahogalibrary.org. TRIVIA

Monday Night Trivia Do you have tons of obscure music knowledge? Are you a student of fast food menus and their nuanced histories? What say you about the geographic evolution of Scotch whisky? Tonight’s your chance to wow your friends, make yourself instantly more desirable to someone you’re newly dating, and hang with Cleveland’s headiest hipsters and

hot dog lovers. It’s the Happy Dog Monday Night Trivia. Starting at 8 p.m., expect themed rounds and general knowledge questions that seem considerably trickier than some of the other live trivia locales in town. Obviously, have a hot dog and a craft brew while you’re at it. And arrive early: Seats fill up fast. (Sam Allard) 5801 Detroit Ave., 216-651-9474, happydogcleveland.com. FILM

Movie Mondays Every Monday, Cleveland Cinemas hosts $5 Movie Mondays, where film fans can catch up on the latest Hollywood flicks for significantly reduced prices. Bring your friends and family and make Movie Mondays a weekly tradition — many theaters even offer discounted concession stand items. Participating theaters include Apollo Theatre, Capitol Theatre, Cedar Lee Theatre, Chagrin Cinemas, Shaker Square Cinemas and Tower City Cinemas. Unfortunately, additional charges apply for 3-D movies. (Alaina Nutile) clevelandcinemas. com. NIGHTLIFE

Shit Show Karaoke

Local rapper/promoter Dirty Jones and Scene’s own Manny Wallace host Shit Show Karaoke, a weekly event at the B-Side Liquor Lounge wherein patrons choose from “an unlimited selection of jams from hip-hop to hard rock,” and are encouraged to “be as bad as you want.” Fueled by drink and shot specials, it all goes down tonight at 10 p.m. (Niesel) 2785 Euclid Hts. Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-932-1966, bsideliquorlounge.com.

TUE

09/25

MUSIC

Open Turntable Tuesday Tonight from 6 to 9, the Winchester hosts its weekly Open Turntable Tuesday. DJ Kris Koch offers 20-minute slots to people who want to bring their own vinyl and spin their favorite songs or deep tracks. Turntables are provided; you can play three to five songs during your time slot; and a mic is available to talk about the selections. (Niesel) 12112 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216600-5338, facebook.com/ TheWinchesterMusicTavern.

FOOD

Truck Stop Tuesday As if to provide a westside counterpart to Walnut Wednesdays, Crocker Park in Westlake has launched Truck Stop Tuesday, a weekly food truck gathering that takes place from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Needless to say, admission is free, but the food will cost you. But nothing lasts forever: Truck Stop Tuesday comes to a halt on Sept. 25, so you better hurry. (Niesel) 189 Crocker Park Blvd., Westlake, crockerpark.com. MUSIC

Vinyl Night Jukebox owner Alex Budin has described his 1,350-square-foot music-focused bar in the Hingetown ’hood as “a place where people can expect to hear and learn about music of multiple genres, all of which is concentrated in a constantly evolving jukebox.” The club hosts a vinyl night every Tuesday that serves as a listening party for new releases, partnering with Loop in Tremont, so patrons can hear a new album on vinyl. You can bring your own vinyl and spin it too. It all starts at 5 p.m. (Niesel) 1404 West 29th St., 216-206-7699, jukeboxcle.com.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene

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| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

21

STAGE GOD IS AN ASSHOLE Don’t blame me, that’s what He says about Himself in An Act of God at the Beck Center By Christine Howey PEOPLE LOVE PLAYING GOD, and why not? If it’s good to be king, as Mel Brooks and Tom Petty have noted, it’s gotta be great to be God. You can smite anyone, you can even smite for spite. And you can get front row tickets to Hamilton whenever you want. This explains why many folks on stage and in films have taken on the role of God, with varying degrees of success, in both dramas and comedies. Currently at the Beck Center, the role of the deity is being handled by local comedy legend Mike Polk Jr., a very funny fellow who has graced our comedy clubs and other venues for more than a few years. In this, his first theatrical production, Polk plays the title role in An Act of God, written by a former contributor to The Daily Show, David Javerbaum. The jokes come fast and furious in this 90-minute one-act that is essentially a standup monologue aided faintly by the occasional contributions of two of the Holy Spirit’s angels, Gabriel and Michael. The bulk of the show is built around Him sharing His new Ten Commandments. Well, there are actually just eight new ones, since two are holdovers from the Charlton Heston set. And it turns out, according to this play, the King of Kings is a gay-friendly guy with a number of left-leaning political takes and serious wrath issues. After relating how He created the world and how He felt about it (the day He created the firmament was kind of boring), the new commandments are trotted out, beginning with: “Thou shalt not tell others whom to fornicate.” And to prove His point, He relates how he made Adam and … Steve. He thought since they were both guys they wouldn’t be distracted by sex and could focus on their gardening. But it turned out Steve, who was fashioned from Adam’s rib, was a hunk and, well, nature took its course. Indeed, the script is unafraid to take on controversial issues, amidst the rat-a-tat of punch lines.

22

Photo by Andy Dudik

“Thou shalt not kill in my name” is a biggie, along with “Thou shalt separate Me and state.” And He notes in passing that there are no sections of the Bible dealing with the advisability of gun ownership. Clearly, this Universal Life Force thing provides rich turf for comedy, and Polk serves as a warm, and at times fearsome, master of all He surveys. At one moment he’s dissing the story of Noah, debunking it as a “phylogenetically complete double nautical bestiary” while lacking in the necessary refrigeration for many animal species. The next second, he’s demanding that people stop asking him for things and, for His sake, stop telling Him to bless

already seems somewhat dated. Since we’re living in the maw of a culture that is reshaping itself in radical ways almost daily (we have a President of the U.S. who sympathizes with racists and has admitted to being a sexual molester), the material here can sometimes seem a bit spongy. But this is a one-person show, and since Polk knows a thing or two about working an audience it is often genuinely funny. Working from a white couch sitting on a raised, tiered platform, Polk as the Almighty holds forth on the many questions humans always ask: Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do little children get cancer? Why the Holocaust?

AN ACT OF GOD THROUGH OCT. 7 AT THE BECK CENTER, 17801 DETROIT AVE., LAKEWOOD, 216-521-2540. BECKCENTER.ORG

everything all the time. It must be noted that this Jehovah-as-jokester thing has been done before, particularly by George Burns in his series of Oh, God! flicks and famously by Bill Cosby in his early standup routines. But even though this show was first staged just a couple years ago, it

| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

God’s answer: “I made you in my image. I’m like you, and I’m an incompetent psychopathic asshole.” Sadly the two angels are underutilized in this play, and that’s a shame since the roles have been given to two outstanding actors. But Brian Pedaci as Gabriel is relegated to intoning a few words

now and then from scripture, and Allan Byrne’s Michael pops up in the audience now and then to pass along “questions” from audience members that have been prescripted. The casting of Polk is inspired; it’s just a shame that the conceit of God as a standup comedian couldn’t have been pursued even further. If Polk’s God were standing at a mic and delivering his material to an audience at the Laff Shack, it might be more interesting than the bland white staircase he’s forced to repeatedly clamber up and down. And as a comic, God would be free to improvise in the moment, responding to and engaging with the audience unscripted ways. This is something Polk would be uniquely qualified to do, as opposed to most actors, and it would open up the show to a wider range of humor. That said, there are lots of laughs to be had in this production, especially if you lean left politically. If you lean right, I guess you’ll have to wait until Dennis Miller writes his version of An Act of God.

scene@clevescene.com t@christinehowey

MOVIES AXES TO GRIND Kristen Stewart and Chloë Sevigny make do with messy Lizzie By BJ Colangelo IT CAN BE ARGUED THAT THE deaths of Sarah and Andrew Borden, presumably at the hands of their axe-wielding daughter, served as the beginning of America’s fascination with sensationalized murder and mystery. The tale of Lizzie Borden has been told in multiple films, documentaries, dramatizations, books, a nursery rhyme and even .. two separate stage musicals. The newest installment, Craig William Macneill’s Lizzie is a messy piece of speculative history presenting Lizzie as an unsung feminist icon. It simultaneously turns one of the most riveting pieces of American true crime into the dull equivalence of watching blood dry. For what it’s worth, the revisionist history and supposed fictional elements of Lizzie have neither been proved nor disproved by historians. This makes the idea that Lizzie Borden (Chloë Sevigny) was involved in both a financial crisis with her uptight father, Andrew (Jamey Sheridan), as well as a secret lesbian affair with her family’s housemaid Bridget Sullivan (Kristen Stewart) in the weeks leading up to the murder of her parents all the more fascinating. Lizzie Borden’s sexuality has been up for speculation for over a century, and

one would think injecting forbidden sexual tension into what is already a fascinating story of murder would up the stakes and make for a more entertaining retelling. Unfortunately, the sexual tension (delivered in fantastic performances by Sevigny and Stewart) is legitimately the only captivating element of the entire fi lm. To be fair, the film looks absolutely stunning. Noah Greenberg serves as director of photography and each frame looks like a portrait worthy of hanging above a mantelpiece. For as slowly

as the fi lm moves, it certainly delivers gorgeous cinematography that at least makes the sludgy story worth looking at. It’s apparent what Lizzie was trying to say. The famous crimes of Lizzie Borden taking an axe to her parents was a justified response to patriarchal oppression in a world that wanted to deny her the happiness to which she was entitled. Her massacre was meant to be a battle cry for women scorned everywhere who weren’t going to take it anymore. But the film has no more impact than a

whisper. The feminist core of Lizzie has the backbone of a jellyfish and every would-be moment of woman empowerment is half-cocked at best. Sevigny and Stewart do their best to add depth and fascination to the relationship between Borden and her housemaid, but they’re stuck in a slow-as-molasses fi lm that consistently holds them back from truly shining. Lizzie opens on Sept. 21.

bcolangelo@clevescene.com t@bjcolangelo

SPOTLIGHT: THE SONG OF SWAY LAKE THE SONG OF SWAY LAKE IS A curious little indie flick about nostalgia and melancholia, both of which afflict the film’s three principal characters: Ollie Sway (Rory Culkin), a music collector who returns to the upstate New York lake named for his family, after his father’s suicide, in pursuit of a rare recording; Nikolai (Robert Sheehan), Ollie’s bombastic Russian chum who becomes enamored of the Sway Lake aristocracy; and Charlie Sway (stage actor Mary Beth Peil), Ollie’s grandmother, who yearns for an earlier, quieter time. The film opens Friday at Tower City in what will likely be a one-week engagement. During my viewing, I’m afraid

the only nostalgia I experienced was nostalgia for the time before I started watching. Very specific settings with very specific histories often make for interesting stories, but nostalgia by rich people for what was basically a Wall Street summer resort tends not to inspire much sympathy in an audience. Of the individual plot lines, Nikolai’s is the most interesting. For the film’s first 15 minutes, he and Ollie drink their way through the Sway Lodge’s supply of hard liquor and behave like the nihilistic 90s college boys they are. (The film takes place in the summer of ’92.) But as Ollie hunts for the record and pursues a purple-haired girl

named Isadora (Isabelle McNally), Nikolai becomes obsessed with the Sway family history and develops an infatuation with Charlie. Actor Robert Sheehan (who will appear in December’s Mortal Instruments) has a sense of swagger and mischief that doesn’t always comport with the rest of the ensemble but is usually exciting to watch. Directed by Ari Gold, Sway Lake features some stylish elements. Letters between Charlie and her deceased husband Hal serve as a kind of voice-over at the outset: It’s a novelistic gimmick that introduces Ollie and Nikolai effectively. Later, though, there are weird and vaguely surrealist flights of fancy that

complicate the matter of perspective. From whose point of view is the story supposedly told? The music that dominates the film, however, was soulful and original (directed by Ari’s twin brother Ethan). Piano music and other old-timey hits that crackle from the film’s record players are Sway Lake’s perfect musical correlatives. The minor character of Marlena, a maid burdened with Sway family secrets, is portrayed by Elizabeth Pena, Sofia Vergara’s mother in Modern Family. Pena died in 2014 and the film is dedicated, in part, to her. — Sam Allard

sallard@clevescene.com t@scenesallard

| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

23

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| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

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EAT FAMILIAR COMFORTS Murano Modern Italian fills a niche for reasonably priced Italian fare downtown By Douglas Trattner Photo by Emanuel Wallace

FRIED CALAMARI? CHECK! Margherita flatbread? Check! Chicken Caesar salad? Check! Pasta with vodka cream sauce? Check! Diners who visit will not stumble upon Cleveland’s most creative menu at Murano Modern Italian, where the riskiest maneuver by the chef is to grill the romaine in that Caesar. But if you haven’t noticed, predictability is precisely what many people appear to crave these days — at least judging by the surfeit of nearly identical taco, pizza, burger and something-foreverybody joints. For those in search of approachable, reasonably priced, well prepared — and, yes, predictable — Italian food, Murano more than capably fills the bill. The restaurant opened in mid-summer, on a quiet alley in the heart of downtown. While the concept is decidedly mainstream, the decision to open was anything but shortsighted. “The space became available after K&D did a big renovation on the Leader Building,” explains Wyatt Grace, a veteran Cleveland chef. “It was something we knew we could do and we felt there was a need for an everyday kind of Italian restaurant, not a special occasion place.” It’s true that apart from lowend pizza and pasta joints and glitzy new destination venues, this particular neighborhood is underserved when it comes to uncomplicated but elegant Italian eateries. Porcelli’s, which existed in this very space for years before relocating a block away, is one notable exception. Following a building-wide construction project that ushered in 225 new residential units, Murano sports a sleek, minimal interior that looks out onto the urban canyon that is East Sixth Street. Downtown workers and business travelers, likely nudged by their hotel concierges, are beginning to add the restaurant to their lunchtime repertoires. Lured by the promise of warm bread, daily soups, fresh salads, hearty pastas,

lusty sandwiches, and just enough entrees, those diners are fi nding themselves well taken care of. That grilled Caesar ($10) might not be a revelation, but the elements that comprise it are top-notch. Fat shavings of real ParmigianoReggiano, plump white anchovies and golden-brown and crunchy (not stale) croutons garnish a split head of baby romaine that is, in fact, grilled, leaving it charred and warm, but still lively. A silver creamer on the side filled with creamy, garlicky dressing puts diners in control. Likewise, the porchetta sandwich ($10) is well crafted, with the thin-sliced meat

with the pasta pillows sweetened by a splash of balsamic and garnish of (unripe) melon. Vodka cream sauce fans have been ordering the gnocchi ($12 to $23) by the truckload, seduced by tender-chewy dumplings bathed in an appropriately rich, decadent gravy studded with a handful of sauteed shrimp. Sadly, the heat from the oven never fully penetrated the core of a large, deep casserole of cheesy baked ziti ($18). Italian restaurant staples like arancini ($6), calamari ($10) and steamed mussels ($8) hit the spot in the right, customary ways. The crispy-fried rice balls have

MURANO MODERN ITALIAN 1852 EAST SIXTH ST. 216-716-8900 MURANOCLEVELAND.COM

set against chopped arugula, slicked with aioli, and hot-pressed between slices of airy focaccia. That price includes a cold pasta side salad or house salad. Day or night, an appealing lineup of pastas is available by the whole or half. At lunch one day, the kitchen graciously split a split into separate portions for me and my companion. During dinner for four, we all just jumped into a half order of goat cheese ravioli ($12),

a pleasant chew to the grains, and the marinara pond in which they loll is bright and spicy. The calamari boasts few surprises but also zero missteps. If you’ve enjoyed broth-steamed mussels with grilled bread, you’ll know what to expect at Murano. Flatbreads — gotta have ’em! — come in a handful of patterns, including the agreeable Margherita ($10), a proper crust topped with good-quality canned tomatoes, fresh mozzarella and

summery basil. At $32, the veal chop Milanese sits at the pinnacle of the price pyramid. That same dish is $15 higher at nearby places like Luca and Il Venetian. More affordable dishes like chicken piccata ($23) are equally satisfying, with truly succulent white meat encased in a willowy batter. A textbook sauce is bright, briny and barely thickened, with plump capers and lemonyellow fruit wheels. On the plate also happen to sit some of the most addictive blanched, smashed and fried potatoes I’ve stumbled upon in ages. There’s no doubt that Murano had a slow start. Summer saw not only the seasonal exodus of many diners but the arrival of development that has neighboring sidewalks closed to pedestrians. But downtown residents have been responding positively to the bar’s happy hour, when beers cost $3, glasses of wine $5, and well-made cocktails $6. A lounge menu offers some cheap bites to go with. “Downtown is a real community now,” chef Grace reports. “Having worked down here for nine years, I’ve watched it all change with the arrival of younger folks. It’s a lot different now.”

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner

| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

25

September is Mushroom Month.

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26

| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

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Fat Head’s Brewery to launch Whole Hog Sundays

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By Douglas Trattner Photo by Doug Trattner

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GOING WHOLE HOG IS NO EASY feat. That might be why no barbecue restaurants in town offer it on a regular basis. But starting this weekend, whole hog barbecue fans can have their dreams fulfilled at Fat Head’s Brewery (17450 Engle Lake Dr., 216-898-0242) in Middleburg Heights. In preparation for the launch, owner-brewmaster Matt Cole has added some new cooking equipment to his already impressive arsenal. In addition to the workhorse Oyler 700, a wood-fired beast that smokes 1,000 pounds of meat at a time, the kitchen brought in a Backwoods Pro Competition Hog Cooker. This outdoor wood-fired water smoker is designed specifically to cook whole hogs weighing up to 260 pounds in a low, slow, moist and smoky environment. But more important than the equipment is the expertise. For that, Cole turned to his buddy on the competition barbecue circuit, Heath Riles. As pitmaster for Heath Riles BBQ, Riles has amassed a staggering number of grand championship awards, including numerous top-10 finishes at the famed Memphis in May. He also has his own line of barbecue rubs, sauces and injections. Whole hog barbecue, which originated in Tennessee and the Carolinas, is a true challenge owing to the fact that you’re simultaneously cooking multiple cuts of meat with varying thicknesses, fat content, and collagen levels. Ending up with meat that is neither under-cooked nor overcooked requires finesse.

“There’s more white meat and less bark — just succulent old-school traditional barbecue,” explains Riles. “Everybody wants to go back to what barbecue was way back in the day and whole hog is the mecca of that. Chopping that up and putting it on a sandwich just brings that comfort back.” At 11 a.m. on a recent day, Riles, Cole and chef Nate Sieg extracted a practice hog from its smoky chamber and marveled at its crackly, coppercolored exterior. When cracked open, a plume of heavenly porky perfume immediately permeated the kitchen. The 100-pound hog began cooking at 5 p.m. the previous evening. When picked through and chopped, the yield should be around 60 pounds of meat. Diners who order the whole hog special this Sunday will receive a halfpound of flavorful, succulent chopped meat ($13.99) and two sides. Service begins at noon and continues until the meat runs out. For a well-traveled competition barbecue cook like Riles, what Cole is attempting to do at Fat Head’s is a rarity. “This is not something that most people would do — Matt’s going the extra mile,” he says. “Whole hog was all about gatherings with family and friends. And that’s what barbecue does anyway; it brings people together. I think Matt’s trying to make this place a destination and I think doing good barbecue will help.”

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner

| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

27

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| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

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FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 22

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 28 ................TRICKY DICK & THE COVER UPS

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 17 ........................................ BILLY MORRIS

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 29 ...................................THAT 80’S BAND

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 21 ........TRICKY DICK & THE COVER UPS

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 5 ..........................................CLEVELAND ROCKS

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 23 .................TRICKY DICK & THE COVER UPS

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 6 ...............................................SPAZMATICS

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 24 .................................. BREAKFAST CLUB

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12 ......................................................OLD SKOOL

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 30 .......................................................... SHOUT

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 13 .............................................SPAZMATICS

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 1............................................GRUNGE DNA

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 19 ....................TRICKY DICK & THE COVER UPS

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 7 .....................................................OLD SKOOL

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 20 ...................... SCREAMING ARMADILLOS

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 8.........................................CARLOS JONES

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26 ........................................... BREAKFAST CLUB

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 14 ...........................................DISCO INFERNO

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 27 ..............TRICKY DICK & THE COVER UPS

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 15 ..........................................SPAZMATICS

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 2 ......................................................... FACTION

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 21 ........................................................ CHEERS

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 3 .........................THUNDER GUN EXPRESS

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 22 .................................. BREAKFAST CLUB

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 9 .......................................... BRONX COUNTRY

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 28 .................TRICKY DICK & THE COVER UPS

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 10 ....................................THAT 80’S BAND

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 29 .....................................DISCO INFERNO

BREAKFAST CLUB

CHEERS

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 16 ......... ABBY NORMAL & THE DETROIT LEAN

| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

29

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MUSIC Photo: Caleb Kuhl

DY N A M I C DUO M AT T A N D K I M TA L K A B O U T T H EI R U N H I N G E D BY J E FF N I ES EL L I V E S H OW

KNOWN FOR THEIR OFF-THErails live show, Matt & Kim — singer-keyboardist Matt Johnson and drummer Kim Schifino — had to take a break from touring last year after Schifino tore her ACL. But now that the drummer has healed, the group has hit the road in support of its new album, Almost Everyday. Guest vocalists Mark Hoppus (blink-182), Kevin Morby, Santigold, SWMRS, Flosstradamus and King Tuff contribute to the indie pop mayhem. Matt spoke via phone from his New York home, while Kim replied via email (hence, the short answers and plenitude of

exclamation marks). The group performs at 7 p.m. on Thursday at House of Blues. You guys first met at art school. What made you want to start a band together? Matt: It started pretty much by accident. We were together as a couple for two years, I think, before Kim decided she wanted to play drums. She never tried it before. She got these pieces of drums from friends and pieced together a drum kit. The kick drum was a floor tom, and she had a tambourine on a high hat. We bought a snare drum

from a sketchy guy down the street and couldn’t get the gasoline smell out of it. When we were practicing in our bedroom, our bedroom constantly smelled like gasoline. I had keyboards I had borrowed from my neighbor. I still have it. It’s been over a decade. I should return it. We were two people who liked the same music and we worked well together on different art projects. We fell backwards into playing music together. Kim: We didn’t start a band. It all happened by accident. I wanted to learn how to play drums, and Matt had a keyboard he wanted to figure

out. Then, a friend forced us to play a show. What were your initial influences? Matt: The stuff happening in the Brooklyn scene was a big influence. Japanather was around. We give a lot of credit to those guys. They made us play our first show. They told us we had to open for them even though we weren’t a band. We were just messing around with instruments. Parts & Labor was playing then. There was a cool vibe of bands happening at the time. There were lots of electronic-inspired things with this punk energy. You’d | clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

31

MUSIC have these house shows where everyone was moshing. I think that energy was something that we were all about. I think it was in response to what was happening in Brooklyn prior to that, which was the I’m-toocool shit with bands that don’t move on stage. They stand in one place and recite their songs, and they don’t have any expressiveness. That was happening in Brooklyn for a little while. We were playing because we just loved it and wanted to be excited about it. Bands like Ninjasonik and the Death Set started happening. It was a fun time. Kim: Anything fun! What was the live show like back then? Matt: We literally played parties. We didn’t play venues. Even when we toured, we were playing garages, and it was always BYOB with people who were drunk and falling on each

Did your approach change once you started recording at proper studios? Matt: I feel like it was never a linear forward direction. We did our first official self-titled album in a studio, but we did the next one in my childhood bedroom with all my skateboarding posters on the walls. That was at my parents’ house. The next album we did at a studio in Atlanta, but the next one we recorded ourselves at our apartment. I feel like this is consistent with us. We do it one way and then the unofficial way. Even with the album we put out this year, we recorded half the songs at home and half at a studio. Did you want to do anything differently on the new album? Matt: Maybe this is all incorrect, but I felt like I wanted to make an album that was, beginning to end, a really cool album. A lot of times, albums are just trying to make singles. They try 20 times to make a single and then cut that down to 12 songs. I wanted instrumental songs and there’s an a cappella song. There’s also vibey things. I wanted to

MATT & KIM, MICHAEL CHRISTMAS 7 P.M. THURSDAY, SEPT. 20, HOUSE OF BLUES, 308 EUCLID AVE., 216-523-2583. TICKETS: $30-$45, HOUSEOFBLUES.COM

other. It had that energy of the show and we wanted to keep that going, even onto bigger stages. I remember one time we played a bigger show in Chicago with Dan Deacon. We had it as a cheap ticket and it was at some kind of ballroom. I remember having this skull beer funnel. It was shaped like a skull and you poured the beer into a funnel and it went through the spinal cord. We called it the “beer skunnel.” We were skunneling beers on stage. Kim: Our live show hasn’t changed in a way. Well, I guess we have more lights and video now. But the vibe is still the same! How easy or difficult was it to release your first EP, To and From? Matt: We recorded it in our practice space. The walls were paper thin. There were probably 30 other bands in the place. You had to go first thing in the morning if you wanted to record something. Trying to rock first thing in the morning isn’t easy. I remember I was really into yogurt, and I was eating yogurt and singing vocal takes. One of the guys from Japanther came in and told me that eating yogurt and singing wasn’t a good idea. It also turned out I was lactose intolerant.

32

| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

make it feel rounded out. That might be ill-advised because we live in an age of taking a bunch of singles and putting them onto a playlist. But for me, some of my favorite albums are ones I can listen to from beginning to end. We still make 10-song albums because of Weezer’s Blue album. I love listening to that from the beginning to the end. Kim: Adding backing vocals from our friends was a new thing. I feel like it gives the recorded songs a more live show vibe. What has kept the group going for almost 15 years? Matt: It doesn’t feel like it. It’s just been me and my lady traveling the world playing songs. It feels easy, and it’s also what I’ve done my entire adult life. Last year Kim tore her ACL, and we didn’t do any shows. It was a really fucking weird year. It made me see what it might be like if we don’t get to do this anymore. It was a bummer. Kim: We fucking love what we do. Once you’ve done something you love, you try to do it as long as you can!

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel

308 EUCLID AVE. CLEVELAND, OH 44114 216.523.BLUE Complete listing at houseofblues.com/cleveland

FOLLOW US:

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ALINA BARAZ w/ JMSN

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PLAIN WHITE T’S w/ hey you

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Zoso (Tribute to Led Zeppelin) Matt and Kim w/ Michael Christmas - In Association with the Grog Shop Don’t Speak (Tribute to No Doubt) w/ Covergirls (90’s female pop tribute) The Score w/ The Orphan The Poet, birthday Cambridge Room Bullet For My Valentine w/ We Came As Romans, Bad Omens Andy Grammer w/ John Splithoff, Josie Dunne Mod Sun w/ Caskey, CHXPO, Jimmy Bennett, Lost In Vegas, Forget Brennan WMMS presents Badflower Cambridge Room Thrice w/ The Bronx, Teenage Wrist Dark Star Orchestra (Tribute to Grateful Dead)

Oct. 12 Oct. 14 Oct. 16 Oct. 18 Oct. 19 Oct. 19 Oct. 21 Oct. 22 Oct. 22

Lil Xan w/ Steven Cannon, Phem Allan Rayman Cambridge Room Hoodie Allen w/ Gianni & Kyle - Live at Beachland Ballroom Watsky w/ Feed The Biirds, Chukwudi Hodge Reel Big Fish w/ Ballyhoo!, We Are The Union Alt Nation presents Big Data w/ Castlecomer, Fitness Cambridge Room Atmosphere w/ deM atlaS, The Lioness, DJ Keezy - in Association with the Grog Shop PROF w/ Mac Irv, Dwynell Roland, DJ Willie Wonka Cambridge Room SiriusXM Hair Nation’s Tour 2018: Jack Russell’s Great White, Bulletboys, Enuff Z’Nuff

Buy tickets at HOUSEOFBLUES.COM/CLEVELAND Order By Phone: 800.745.3000 • House of Blues Box Office

| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

33

MUSIC HOW ALICIA GOT HER GROOVE BACK Bully bandleader talks about how she’s ‘refallen’ in love with music By Bethany Kaufman FOR BULLY BANDLEADER Alicia Bognanno, audio engineering was her hot ticket out of the Midwest and into the music industry. Little did she know there was far more in store for her than recording the work of others. Growing up in Rosemount, Minnesota, where the “alternative” station played Alanis Morissette and Sarah McLachlan, Bognanno picked up some keyboard and acoustic guitar but didn’t know anyone else who wanted to play. Her high school allowed students to take audio engineering classes at a local college, an opportunity Bognanno couldn’t pass up. “That was my only access to get into anything [musical]. I didn’t know anyone who was in a band,” Bognanno explains in a recent phone interview. Bully performs with Goldmines at 8:30 p.m. on Thursday at the Beachland Tavern. Bognanno went on to get a bachelor’s degree in the subject from Middle Tennessee State University. While at audio engineering school, Bognanno found herself surrounded by musicians, and she caught the itch not only to record but also to play. She traded her acoustic guitar for an electric, and it stuck. She went on to intern at Steve Albini’s Electrical Audio studio in Chicago and moved to Nashville where she ran sound at the Stone Fox. There she met bassist Reece Lazarus, who introduced her to guitarist Clayton Parker. Bognanno called on former collaborator Stewart Copeland to flesh out a new project that would be called Bully. Wesley Mitchell would later take over on drums. Now, just four years after the release of its debut EP, Feels Like, the band has become the bedrock of the Nashville indie scene. But Bognanno is hesitant to accept that title. “There was already a really solid indie rock scene when we arrived here,” she says. “I’m a little bit different than them because of the Stone Fox influence — a lot of rock ’n’ roll bands played there.” Released three years ago, Feels Like is, in large part, an

34

Photo: Alysse Gafkjen

analysis of childhood and comingof-age memories, from the guilt Bognanno felt when she accidently broke her sister’s arm to getting drunk and throwing up in a friend’s car. She loses none of her

Losing is stronger lyrically than previous releases. Perhaps that’s because touring has given Bognanno a new perspective. Being an indie rock band is a lot of work. That’s even truer when

BULLY, GOLDMINES 8:30 P.M. THURSDAY, SEPT. 20, BEACHLAND BALLROOM, 15711 WATERLOO RD., 216-383-1124. TICKETS: $15, BEACHLANDBALLROOM.COM

introspection on last year’s Losing, but life on the road is clearly a welcome distraction from the past. On “Running,” she sings, “What’s it about being back in town/That always makes me feel like this and/I’m done with being back in town/It’s a silent steady existence.”

| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

you engineer your own records as Bognanno does. “You record a record, you release the record, you play shows, and then you do it again,” she says. “When I’m home, all I do is write. It’s a constant process.” Bognanno didn’t have as much

time as she would have liked to really finesse the songs on Losing, but by the time she wrapped up the record, she couldn’t stand to listen to the whole album through even one more time. “I don’t think I had the space with the songs that I wanted to get, the distance I wanted from them,” Bognanno says. “I’m writing a demo now, and my goal is to have more time with the songs.” Sometimes, Bognanno is so busy writing and performing that she has to remind herself that being a listener is an important part of being a musician too. “This last year, I’ve re-fallen in love with music,” she says. “It sounds corny to say, but when you are listening to lots of podcasts and NPR all the time, it’s great to get back into music.” Lately, bands like Forth Wanderers, Blood on the Wall, Hookworm and Great Grandpa have been pumping through her headphones. “I pay a lot of attention to the mixing of music I’m listening to, so I’d say that it ultimately has an impact on what I’m writing,” she says. With Bully’s “hometown hero” status in a town that isn’t even home, would Bognanno ever consider moving away from Nashville? “I’ve thought about leaving, but it’s very practical to live here,” she says. “I have a house where I can practice instead of being in a place where it’s common to live in an apartment. I’m from the Midwest, so I’ve thought about going back there, but I wouldn’t want to put strain on the guys [in the band] by leaving.” After a fall tour, Bully will have some downtime (although we know Bognanno will carry on with her incessant writing), but the band expects to be back on the road early next year. Bognanno thinks that there will be a lot of tracking during that time too, which means a new release is on the horizon.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene

| clevescene.com m | September 19 - 25, 2018

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| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

LIVEWIRE

all the live music you should see this week Photos by Paul Dryden

WED

09/19

Ava Luna/Julia Julian/The Katy: 8:30 p.m., $8 ADV, $10 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Bad Boys of Blues Jam: 9 p.m., free. Smedley’s. Crump/Laubrock/Smythe: 8 p.m., $20. Bop Stop. Family and Friends/Walden: 8 p.m., $10. Musica. The High Kings: 8 p.m., $35. The Kent Stage. OHGR/Lead Into Gold/Omniflux: 8 p.m. Agora Theatre. Van William/Sontalk: 8:30 p.m., $12 ADV, $14 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Zoso: 8 p.m., $12 ADV, $17 DOS. House of Blues.

THU

09/20

Bad Bunny: 8 p.m., $63.50-$143.50. State Theatre. Bully/Goldmines: 8:30 p.m., $15. Beachland Tavern. Chain Gang (in the Supper Club): 7:30 p.m., $5. Music Box Supper Club. Five For Fighting with String Quartet: 8 p.m., $32-$42. The Kent Stage. Fractal Cat/The Swimfan/Outdated View: 8 p.m., $20. CODA. FreeByrds Musician’s Night: 10 p.m., free. Smedley’s. Guerilla Toss/Spirits Having Fun (in the Locker Room): 7 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Chris Hatton’s Musical Circus (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m., free. Brothers Lounge. Jam Night with the Bad Boys of Blues: 9 p.m., free. Brothers Lounge. Jeff the Brotherhood/Two Hand Fools/Mister Fabulous & the Bad Boiz: 8 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Matt & Kim: 8 p.m., $30 ADV, $35 DOS. House of Blues. Moutin Factory Quintet: 8 p.m., $20. Bop Stop. JP Soars: 5:30 p.m., free. Wilbert’s. The Vibrators/Black Static Eye/Tin Foil: 9 p.m., $10. Now That’s Class.

FRI

09/21

Cafe Tacvba/The Marias: When the members of Cafe Tacvba first met nearly 30 years ago in the Mexico City suburb of Satélite,

Mexico’s Cafe Tacvba comes to the Agora. See: Friday.

the guys were art and design students at the local university. They quickly discovered that they shared a common interest not only in Mexican regional music but also in rock groups like Rush, the Cure and the Smiths. The band’s 1992 self-titled debut fit in with the ska and punk-inflected alternative rock that was popular at the time. Tours throughout the decades would bring the group to town to play clubs like the now-shuttered Peabody’s, even though the band regularly filled arenas in its native Mexico. Tonight, the group comes to town in support of last year’s Jei Beibi, a terrific album that veers from the manic music of the early days to the more esoteric approach the band takes today. (Jeff Niesel) 8 p.m. Agora Theatre. Matt Corey (in the Supper Club): 8 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. An Evening with the Garcia Project: 8:30 p.m., $20 ADV, $25 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. Gildersleeve: 8 p.m., $10. Musica. Glowing Moses/Darklighter/Leo: 8 p.m., $7. CODA. The Gordon Lightfoot Tribute by Mike Fornes: 8 p.m., $20 ADV, $25 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. Occidental Gypsy: 8:30 p.m., $20. Nighttown. Public Affair: 9 p.m., $12. Odeon. Seconds to Live/Morning In May/ The Dollyhoppers/As Time Fades/Lone Thunder: 7 p.m., $10. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Ringo Starr and His All Starr Band: 8 p.m., sold out. Hard Rock Rocksino Northfield Park. Still Corners/Foxes in Friction/

KID TIGRRR: 8:30 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Swindlella/Rubella/Stephen Halusk: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class. This Moment In Black History/ Actual Form/Album/Truman Freeman: 9 p.m., $7. Grog Shop. Jackie Warren: 10:30 p.m., free. Nighttown.

SAT

09/22

Archie & the Bunkers: 8 p.m., $8 ADV, $10 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Autumn Androids/Strange Powers/ Vinyl Wings: 8 p.m., $5. CODA. Chris Platis/Cool Blue Planet!/The Conway Brothers/Marina Strah: 8 p.m., $10. Musica. Father John Misty/King Tuff: Justin Tillman (aka Father John Misty) wants people to put down their damn cellphones and live in the moment already — especially at his concerts, where he’s been known to call people out for constantly filming and photographing. Much of what the singer-songwriter does comes off as sarcastic, but with the cellphone thing he has strong convictions. Since 2012, the former Fleet Foxes drummer has moved listeners, in often uncomfortable and poetically beautiful prose, to fully examine their lives. His sparse new record, God’s Favorite Customer, which he wrote in a month while hiding out at a hotel, continues his progression as an artist unafraid to make people think. (Laura Morrison) 7 p.m., $35-$75. Agora Theatre.

Homonculus/Interfere Patterns/ Short Order/Street Gurgler (in Club Atlantis): 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class. Marissa Mulder: 8:30 p.m., $25. Nighttown. Nine Pound Hammer/Pat Todd & the Rankoutsiders/Exploding Lies: 9 p.m., $12 ADV, $14 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Part-Time Lover/Shagg/Glass Traps/Red Devil Riders: 9 p.m., $7. Grog Shop. Revival ABB: An Evening with the Music of the Allman Brothers Band: 8 p.m., $12 ADV, $14 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. School of Rock: 12 p.m., free. Beachland Ballroom. The Speedbumps’ 10th Anniversary Concert: A local indie-folk band, the Speedbumps came together in 2007. Singerguitarist Erik Urycki had dropped out of Kent after freshman year and spent a summer writing songs and playing guitar. That’s when he decided to put the group together. Shortly after forming, the band would perform with artists such as Andrew Bird, G. Love and OKGO. This fall marks the 10th anniversary of the band’s first release. The group’s performance tonight at the Kent Stage will serve as a 10-year anniversary party. It’ll also mark the group’s first gig in Kent in two years, and some former members will sit in with the band. (Niesel) 8 p.m., $17 ADV, $20 DOS. The Kent Stage. Jackie Warren: 10:30 p.m., free. Nighttown. Hilary Woods/Arms & Armour/ Sarah Arafat (in the Locker | clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

37

Room): 8 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

SUN

UPCOMING ENTERTAINMENT!

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Advance Base/Gia Margaret: 8:30 p.m., $8 ADV, $10 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Beyond Category: Barbara’s Dream: 7 p.m., $15. Bop Stop. The Black Lillies: 8 p.m., $17 ADV, $20 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Blessthefall/The Word Alive/Ded/ Thousand Below/A War Within: 6:30 p.m., $20 ADV, $23 DOS. Grog Shop. Kingston Trio: 7:30 p.m., $35-$55. The Kent Stage. MC 50 Presents Kick Out the Jams: 8 p.m., $35 ADV, $40 DOS. House of Blues. School of Rock: 12 p.m., free. Beachland Ballroom. Super Thief/Street Gurgler/Actual Form: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class.

JEFF FOXWORTHY OCT 6

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MON

09/24

Heart & Lung/Sink Or Swim/Old Souls (in the Locker Room): 8 p.m., $5 ADV, $8 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Marissa Mulder: 7 p.m., $25. Nighttown. Gary Numan/Nightmare Air: 8 p.m., $25 ADV, $30 DOS. House of Blues. Red Fang/Big Business/Dead Now: 8 p.m., $20 ADV, $23 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. Seether/Tremonti: 8 p.m. Agora Theatre. Skatch Anderssen Orchestra: 8 p.m., $7. Brothers Lounge. Velvet Voyage (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

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| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

PROUD ENTERTAINMENT PARTNER OF THE

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Robbie Fulks & Linda Gail Lewis: 8 p.m., $15 ADV, $17 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Pastor Fred Grave’s Live Recording: 8 p.m., $20. Bop Stop. Slaughter Beach Dog/Gladie/Eric Bond: 8 p.m., $13 ADV, $15 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Spendtime Palace/The Brazen Youth/Leaf Borbie & the Family Tree (in the Locker Room): 7 p.m., $8 ADV, $10 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Butch Walker/Indianola: 8 p.m., $25 ADV, $30 DOS. House of Blues.

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By Laura Morrison MEET THE BAND: Bryan Giles (vocal, guitar), Aaron Beam (bass, vocal), David Sullivan (guitar), John Sherman (drums) IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL: After playing at least 1,000 shows across a 15-year span, Bryan Giles explains that he still doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get sick of playing with his crew of Portland metalheads. They know each other now, for better or worse. Above all, Red Fang members pride themselves on being happy, on stage and in life. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our music may be angry,â&#x20AC;? Giles says just hours before a recent show in St. Louis. â&#x20AC;&#x153;But weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not angry all the time.

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Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not in our basement hanging upside down like bats.â&#x20AC;? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why they love making wry-witted music videos. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s actually how a lot of people know of us, through our music videos,â&#x20AC;? Giles says. The videos, directed by Whitey McConnaughy, have led to millions of YouTube views, worldwide tours and even an appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman.

WINTER IS COMING IN CLEVELAND: Starting in on a new tour through much of the Northeast and Midwest this fall, including a stop in Cleveland, Giles says that the city will always be the place that turned him on to the Game of Thrones series â&#x20AC;&#x201D; even before the TV show came out. He recalls meeting some dude at a bar, before a show at the Grog Shop, who chatted him up about science ďŹ ction. â&#x20AC;&#x153;This guy recommend I check out George R.R. Martin and read the series,â&#x20AC;? Giles says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;So because of

Giles says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been a band a long time. Doing something drastically different helps keep us moving.â&#x20AC;? Giles says this new tune, along with another fresh one, will be on the set list when they head Clevelandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s way. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s interesting to watch how the audience reacts to this song as itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so out of the ordinary for us.â&#x20AC;? And heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s itching to get back in the studio. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re actively songwriting, even while on tour,â&#x20AC;? Giles says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m really chomping at the bit to get in the studio. We have boat loads of riffs but not a lot of new songs yet.â&#x20AC;?

WHERE YOU CAN HEAR THEM: redfang.net WHERE YOU CAN SEE THEM: Red Fang performs with Big Business and Dead Now at 8 p.m. on Monday, Sept. 24, at the Beachland Ballroom.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene

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| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

40

| clevescene.com | September 19 - 25, 2018

SAVAGE LOVE FRESH STARTS by Dan Savage I am newly divorced and have started a relationship with a man I’ve known and deeply cared about for decades. The sex is amazing — from start to finish, I feel better than I ever did even in the best moments with my ex. And in the most intense moments? He makes me see stars. He is a very generous lover — he turns me on like crazy and I regularly come while sexting with him. But I have yet to have an orgasm with him. In the past, I have had an orgasm with a partner only from oral or very occasionally from digital clit stim. My ex-husband was not skilled at oral, so I always had to fantasize pretty hard to get there (and regularly chose not to bother). My new partner has amazing moves and amazing oral skills. And he is willing to keep at it for as long as it takes. But regardless of how amazing I feel when he’s going down on me, every single time I eventually hit a wall where I am just done. I haven’t had a single session with him where I’m left feeling unfulfilled, despite the lack of orgasm. Do you have any ideas as to why I can’t get over that hump? I wonder if I just need him to be more boring and repetitive so that I can focus. But if that’s the case, is it even worth it? Or should I just be satisfied with the mind-blowing sex I am having, even if it means I don’t have an orgasm? Is it okay to give myself permission to give up on partner-based climaxing? — No Orgasm Possibly Ever Beware of those self-fulfilling prophecies! If you sit there — or lie there — telling yourself that being with Mr. Amazing Moves means giving up on “partner-based climaxing,” NOPE, you’re increasing the odds that you’ll never have an orgasm with this guy or any other guy ever again. Here’s what I think the problem is: You had tons of shitty sex with your ex, but you could climax so long as you focused, i.e., so long as you were able to “fantasize pretty hard.” Your ex provided you with some half-assed oral and/or uninspiring digital clit stim that didn’t interfere with your ability to focus/fantasize. In other words, NOPE, with your ex you were able to — you had no other choice but to — retreat into your own head and rely on your own erotic imagination to get you there. You may have been physically present during sex, but you were not

emotionally or erotically present. Because Mr. Amazing Moves’ moves are so amazing — because he turns you on like crazy, because whatever he’s doing feels great, because sometimes you see stars — you aren’t able to retreat into your own head. For years, you had to figuratively leave the room so you could focus/concentrate on whatever it was you needed to focus/concentrate on in order to come; sometimes you even asked your ex to literally leave the room. You created a powerful association between going to a private, safe, sexy place — pulling away from your partner emotionally, erotically, and sometimes even physically — and climaxing. You aren’t able to pull away from your current partner in the same way. Nor do you want to. And, hey, wanna know why you come when you sext with him? Because sexting is assisted fantasizing. You’re alone when you’re swapping those dirty messages with Mr. Amazing Moves, NOPE, kind of like you were alone when you were having sex with your ex. It’s going to take some time to carve a new groove, i.e., you’re going to have to create a new association, one that allows you to be fully present (emotionally, erotically, physically) during partner-based sex and able to climax during it. The trick is not to rush it and, again, not to box yourself into negative self-fulfilling prophecies like the one you ended your letter with. One practical suggestion: The next time you have sex with Mr. Amazing Moves — the next 10 times you have sex with him — tell him in advance that you’re going to ask him to stop eating you out long before you hit that wall. Then stimulate yourself, either digitally or with a vibrator, while he holds you. If you need to lean back and close your eyes, lean back and close your eyes — but do not retreat into your own head. Maintain physical contact and ask him to say dirty/sexy things to you while you get yourself the rest of the way there, so you’re always aware of his presence. A couple of dozen selfadministered orgasms with both of you in the room — in the room emotionally, erotically, and physically — will speed that new-groove-carving process along.

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