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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
| clevescene.com clev cl eves e cene.com m | December Dece c mber 26,, 2018 - January Januuar Ja aryy 1, 201 2019 019
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Dedicated to Free Times founder Richard H. Siegel (1935-1993) and Scene founder Richard Kabat
CONTENTS Upfront
Group Publisher Chris Keating
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Publisher Andrew Zelman
The contentious split between Urban Community School and the Cleveland Catholic Diocese, plus drugs
Associate Publisher Angela Nagal Editor Vince Grzegorek
Tiffany & Co Roberto Coin
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Editorial Music Editor Jeff Niesel Senior Writer Sam Allard Staff Writer Brett Zelman Web Editor Laura Morrison Dining Editor Douglas Trattner Stage Editor Christine Howey Visual Arts Writer Dott von Schneider Copy Editor Elaine Cicora
Feature
A celebration of Doug Dieken, the Browns’ iron man two times over
Advertising Senior Multimedia Account Executive John Crobar, Shayne Rose Multimedia Account Executive Kiara Davis Creative Services Production Manager Steve Miluch Staff Photographer Emanuel Wallace
David Yurman Stephan Webster
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'ET /UT
Business Sales Assistant/Receptionist Megan Stimac Controller Kristy Dotson
Get your ass out of the house and celebrate New Year’s in style
Circulation Circulation Director Don Kriss Euclid Media Group Chief Executive OfďŹ cer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating OfďŹ cers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP Digital Services Stacy Volhein Digital Operations Coordinator Jaime Monzon
Stage
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The best of Cleveland theater in 2018
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Oh, man, Aquaman is really, really bad
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Cleveland Scene Magazine is published every week by Euclid Media Group.
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A recap of 2018’s comings and goings as 2019 waits around the corner
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Saxophonist Joe Lovano on his Cleveland roots, and all the shows to catch this weekend
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UPFRONT FEDERAL JUDGE DAN POLSTER ALLOWS MASSIVE OPIOID SUIT TO GO FORWARD Photo courtesy Northern District Court
A LAWSUIT AGAINST DRUG companies by municipalities across the country will go forward after a decision by a federal judge in Northern Ohio last week. U.S. District Court Judge Dan A. Polster, who sits on the bench in the Northern District of Ohio Eastern Division in Cleveland, refused a motion from drug companies to dismiss the multi-district lawsuit in a strongly worded ruling. “It is accurate to describe the opioid epidemic as a man-made plague, twenty years in the making,” Polster wrote in that ruling. “The pain, death, and heartache it has wrought cannot be overstated.” The ruling simply allows the case to move forward and does not find any culpability or levy any damages to be paid by drug companies. However, it means attorneys will get an opportunity to prove that drug companies contributed to — and should help pay for response to — the opioid epidemic, which currently kills roughly 100 people a day across the U.S. If municipalities win their case, it could set precedent for other lawsuits around drug companies’ culpability for the opioid addiction epidemic. Ohio had the second-highest rate of deaths from overdoses in the nation last year, behind West Virginia, with more than 46 overdoses per 100,000 people. Most of those deaths were attributed to opioids, which killed 822 people via overdose in Cuyahoga County in 2017. A continued surge in those deaths over the past few years has a lot to do with additives like fentanyl, a synthetic opiate with 100 times more potency than heroin alone. The rise of fentanyl illustrates the role drug companies have played in the opioid crisis, some experts say. Prescription drug companies first developed fentanyl in the 1960s to treat severe pain associated with surgery and certain cancers. It acts fast, is very powerful and can be obtained in lozenge and patch forms. Like many powerful opiates, it’s prone to abuse. A powdered form of fentanyl, called China White on the streets, rose to prominence in the 1980s.
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Federal judge Dan Polster
With the advent of the drug’s patch and lozenge forms, patients who had been legitimately prescribed fentanyl began abusing it more often as well. That dovetailed with an overall rise in prescription drug abuse that started in the 1990s and became a crisis in the past decade. In the early 2000s, doctors began widely prescribing opiates like fentanyl, leading to a huge increase in abuse and addictions. The demand for those opiates was in large part driven by marketing pushes from major pharmaceutical companies, which funded academic studies, educational programs and medical groups like the Federation of State Medical Boards. Those organizations in turn endorsed increased use of opiates. Prescription opiates, especially ones like OxyContin, became so popular that illegal labs known as pill mills began pumping out the synthetic narcotics to meet illicit demand. Law enforcement in Ohio, led by the attorney general’s office, clamped down hard on the industry beginning in 2011, raiding and shutting down pill mills and others dealing the drugs. Prescription
| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
pill overdose deaths then began dropping in the state. The decrease in pill supply, however, led many to heroin, and, wittingly or unwittingly, to fentanyl. According to the federal government’s National Survey on Drug Use and Health, four out of five heroin addicts surveyed reported their addictions started with prescription opiates. The current litigation is one of the largest and most complex civil suits in history, attorneys representing its plaintiffs say. Back in July, similar suits in federal jurisdictions around the U.S. were consolidated into a single case against pharmaceutical companies, pharmacies and distributors that make and sell opioids. Attorneys representing the municipalities suing drug companies cheered Polster’s ruling. “This ruling is a major step forward for the more than 1,500 communities across the country who (sic) have been battling the opioid crisis and demanding accountability from the opioid manufacturers, distributors and pharmacies that are responsible for creating the epidemic,” they said
in a statement. “In 2019, we expect opioid manufacturers, distributors and pharmacies will finally be held to account for the public crisis they wrought.” — Nick Swartsell, Cincinnati CityBeat
Bill that Would Give nuCLEus Project Huge Tax Credit Stalled for Now A bill that would provide an upfront 10-percent rebate to “transformational mixed-use development” projects (TMUDs), originally tailored to the proposed nuCLEus skyscraper in downtown Cleveland, will not pass in the Ohio General Assembly this year. The Plain Dealer reported last week that the bill simply ran out of time as it made its way through committee, but that the bill’s sponsor, Rep. Kirk Schuring (R-Canton), was confident it would pass in 2019. The legislation has been revised from original language composed chiefly by nuCLEus developer Bob Stark’s financial guy, Rob Sommers. It was crafted to make financing
possible for the ostensibly catalytic project after CMSD rejected a unique tax arrangement. The new version of the bill would open up many more projects to the rebate: any project with multiple uses (office and residential, for example) of more than 15 stories and 350,000 square feet that costs more than $50 million would be eligible. It is meant to give developers upfront money for construction by letting them sell their rebate at a discount to insurers. In the four Senate committee hearings, 13 parties testified in favor of the legislation. They included Bob Stark, multiple Ohio Chambers of Commerce (the Greater Cleveland Partnership and the Greater Akron Chamber among them), and representatives from financial institutions. They argued that the legislation would add another critical tool to cities’ economic development toolboxes. “H.B. 469 puts organizations like ours in a better position to attract investors to meaningful projects that stand to revitalize our local communities,” said John Rizzo, director of government affairs at the Greater Akron Chamber. Two divergent parties spoke in opposition to the bill as well.
Representing the Ohio chapter of the Koch Brothers’ Americans for Prosperity advocacy group, Micah Derry said that his organization’s mission was to identify and oppose policies in which the government picks winners and losers at taxpayers’ expense. “Unfortunately, HB 469 represents the worst of this kind of corporate welfare,” he said. Later, he proposed a different form of corporate welfare: further cutting corporate taxes. “The costs of corporate welfare are directly carried by the taxpayers who finance these various incentive schemes,” he said. “Ohio could actually reduce its state corporate income tax rate by nearly 11 percent if it eliminated all corporate incentives. Consider how that might attract the businesses you’re trying to bring here.” Zach Shiller, research director for Policy Matters Ohio, presented clear and specific objections to the bill, including the fact that the total costs are uncertain because the number of eligible projects is unknown. Furthermore, “[the bill] lacks needed guardrails and transparency,” Schiller said. “Provisions directed at making sure it is not a revenue loser are short on specifics and have no clawback mechanism, making them
weak tea ... If the projects it would support are so crucial, the General Assembly should fund them through the capital budget.” — Sam Allard
Urban Community School Severing Ties with Cleveland Catholic Diocese A private ecumenical school serving primarily low-income children on Cleveland’s near-west side will sever ties with the Cleveland Catholic Diocese to preserve a new partnership with MetroHealth. Urban Community School, which was founded in 1968 by the Ursuline nuns in partnership with three Catholic churches on the near west side — St. Wendelin, St. Malachi and St. Patrick — announced this week that its board had “voted overwhelmingly” in October to move ahead with the MetroHealth partnership. This will include a new community health center on the UCS campus (Lorain Avenue and West 48th Street), which will provide a broad range of services to students and their families. The plan is to break ground on the clinic in 2019 and begin services in 2020. But the board vote comes at
a cost. The Diocese had alerted UCS that because MetroHealth would not agree to the church’s ethical healthcare guidelines, the school could no longer remain “canonically Catholic.” In a letter to the UCS community this week, school president Tom Gill mentioned “contraceptive referrals” specifically. (MetroHealth, as a public healthcare system, could not stop providing birth control and information on contraceptive options to patients.) “Our hope was to pursue the clinic while retaining our existing relationship with the Diocese and our Ursuline sponsorship,” Gill wrote. “Unfortunately, we were informed that, given Catholic teaching, such an outcome was impossible.” Gill said that religious education would remain a component of the UCS curriculum — in fact, he said they would not pursue becoming a charter school because of the value they place on children’s spiritual formation — and that the Ursuline nuns, while discontinuing their formal sponsorship and governance, would be welcome to continue their service at the school and on the board. Among other potential ramifications, the school’s CYO
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
membership is up in the air. UCS will lose its accreditation from the Ohio Catholic Schools Association and will pursue accreditation from the Independent Schools Association of the Central States (ISACS), a body that accredits other area private schools, including Gilmour, Laurel, University School, Hawken, Hathaway Brown and Western Reserve Academy. The announcement has been met with mixed feelings by the UCS community, the St. Wendelin, St. Malachi and St. Patrick parishes, and by alumni on Facebook. Some have applauded the school for forging ahead with the clinic, and for recognizing the linkages between health, academic success, and community well-being. Others have lamented the decision, and feel that by ending the formal relationship with the Ursulines and the Diocese, UCS is surrendering an essential element of its identity. Many in both camps are angered by, or fed up with, a Catholic church they see as increasingly out of step. The Diocese responded to Scene’s request for comment with a prepared statement, which read in part: “While the Diocese supports the inclusion of health clinics in school environments to ensure that students, families and local communities have access to needed healthcare services, compliance with the Ethical and Religious Directives for Healthcare Services of the Church is vitally important to ensure that healthcare is delivered in a manner that is consistent with the moral teachings of the Catholic Church.� The priest at St. Patrick, Fr. Michael Gurnick, distributed a letter this weekend explaining the decision to the parish. He called the UCS board’s decision a “truly unfortunate situation.� “To be clear,� he wrote, “the three pastors [of St. Wendelin, St. Malachi and St. Patrick], who are all board members, did not and do not support this action. We would have preferred other options be explored.� — Allard
Inmates File Federal Lawsuit Over Inhumane Conditions at County Jail A federal lawsuit ďŹ led last week on behalf of seven inmates of the Cuyahoga County Jail details the
unconstitutional and inhumane conditions of the facility and asks for an independent monitor to take over the operation. It wouldn’t be the ďŹ rst time that happened; court orders have included such direction twice before. The concerns of the inmates, represented by the law ďŹ rm of Friedman & Gilbert, very much mirror those found by the U.S. Marshals in its review of the jail, which were memorialized in a scathing report delivered last month. Defendants in the suit include Armond Budish, the warden Eric Ivey, Sheriff Cliff Pinkney, MetroHealth, which handles healthcare at the jail, and others. Overcrowding, underfunding, lack of training, violence, poor mental health treatment and denial of legal services are just a few of the many claims made in the lengthy suit. You can read it in full at clevescene.com. — Vince Grzegorek
DIGIT WIDGET 40 Mice found by an exterminator at the McDonald’s at 8210 Euclid Ave., near the Cleveland Clinic. 40.
$63,000 Unauthorized signing bonuses and other payments that Armond Budish made to eight employees, ruled illegal by the state auditor last week.
77 PERCENT Percentage of more than 1,100 people polled in a nationwide survey who said they didn’t know enough about Ohio’s Sen. Sherrod Brown to form an opinion about him.
$247,113 New salary of Metroparks’ CEO Brian Zimmerman, a 70-percent increase since he took over in 2010. Zimmerman also gets a highend SUV for free.
scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene
Photo by Emanuel Wallace
FEATURE
Doug Dieken Has a Story About That By Vince Grzegorek
D
OUG DIEKEN IS IN THE middle of talking about why he’s happy he waited until after his playing days were done to start a family. “You wouldn’t have time to spend with them,” he says slash grumbles. “You come home miserable, all beat up from the game … It just wouldn’t be fun.” He’s perched sideways in the front booth at the West End Tavern, a place where he seems to know everyone from the kitchen staff to other customers by name, with his right leg up and extended on the bench, because these booths were not otherwise constructed to accommodate the frames of men like Doug Dieken, whose 6-foot-5 build —
a “soda machine” as Tom Withers of the Associated Press described it — remains, against all efforts of time, decidedly athletic and imposing. The extra leg space also doesn’t hurt for twin stems centered on two artificial knees. Anyway, Doug sort of abruptly stops his familial reverie and stares at the television above the bar. If we didn’t know better, the adjustment would have been a pretty clear social cue that we’d lost his attention. After all, it was just The Price is Right, and the sound was off, and closed captioning was definitely not on. But we know better, because Doug is an attentive and generous conversation companion. So we had a hunch of what was coming next.
“I’m watching Drew Carey,” he says, letting a beat go. “He used to be a waiter down at Sammy’s, down in the Flats. I had to do some roast or something, and there was this girl I knew, and she said she had this friend who was pretty funny, he writes some stuff. I go, ‘Oh?’ I mean, sure, come on. So she gives me four pages of stuff and it’s really, really good, really funny. I said, ‘This is good shit. What’s your friend’s name?’ And she says it’s Drew Carey; he writes stuff for Lanigan too. Oh neat. Well, I never thought anything of it, but then he did that TV show and I’m like, ‘Hey, that’s the guy!’ “This one time I was down having dinner at Sammy’s, and this was
before the show, and he was our waiter. He screwed up our order. So anyhow, years later, someone sends me this video. It’s Drew talking about being a waiter and serving me and screwing up and being embarrassed because I was one of his favorite players. He’s a good Cleveland guy. “A couple of years ago, we were out in Seattle and we weren’t doing very good. [Eric] Metcalf was there. They’re good buddies, he and Drew. So [during the game] I nudge him and say, ‘Hey, can you call Drew and see if he has any material for the second half?’” This is sort of how it goes with Doug Dieken, the Iron Man of Orange and Brown Iron Men, on not one but two fronts. After playing
| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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Photo courtesy of Cleveland Memory Project
FEATURE 14 seasons for the Browns (1971 to 1984), a stretch during which he played every single regular season game (203 consecutive games with 194 consecutive starts), he immediately stepped into the Browns’ radio broadcast, where he remains to this day. During that stretch, which now stands at 31 years, he’s only missed two games — one in 1989 after his mother died (incredibly, he lost his father 10 days later but worked the game after that) and one when the Browns visited London and a doctor recommended he skip the lengthy road trip due to a health issue. And those three seasons when the Browns were in limbo in the postModell pre-expansion years? He spent those working as an ambassador for the Cleveland Browns Trust. All told, Doug Dieken has spent 48 of his 69 years on this earth working, in one of three capacities, with honest effort every day, for one franchise. There are Browns players in recent memory who didn’t spend 48 of 69 days doing something positive for the team. But here’s Diek, beloved Diek, steadfast Iron Man Diek, a man who one beat reporter described as the “A-list Celebrity” at a training camp, even when that training camp included No. 1 draft pick Baker Mayfield; the man who has almost definitely seen more Cleveland Browns games live than any other human being; the voice that, with a grunt and a grin, enters tens of thousands of homes and cars and offices and garages sixteen Sundays a year to bring you the action of your favorite football team. And, somehow, possibly out of narrative necessity or a gap in Scene’s cover story schedule, there’s a sense that Doug Dieken has not gotten his due. At least not for his second career and, in the larger picture, not for his very existence and lasting legacy as one of the most/best/quintessential Cleveland people of all time despite not being from here. Part of that can be ascribed to the modern consumption of football — on social media, on NFL Red Zone, on phones and on online streams pulled from Reddit — that has naturally displaced radio. Part of that can be attributed to the fact that Doug has stuck around, which is usually a reason for people to pay attention, but in the case of the Browns might have been overshadowed by a near hourly breaking news cycle featuring some calamitous off-field incident,
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Duane Kulper, left, Doug Dieken, and Tribe manager Dave Garcia, right, stand by the stadium seat presented to Kulper in honor of his only Major-League home run.
trade, front office move, coaching decision, horrible draft pick, baffling draft pick, motorcycle accident, domestic stabbing incident, insane trade, staph infection, team lawsuit, suspension, executive vice president dismissal, interest by the Feds in the owners’ other business, gradients of orange, wordmarks, stadium renovation talks, field-adjacent vulgar chastisement of a female ref by a team employee, 0-16, 1-31 … This, if you know Doug Dieken or listened to a broadcast or interview, is where he would groan. And then he’d probably tell a joke, and then he’d bring up some story whose undercurrents brim with optimism and humor. Doug has a locker full of them, and they serve as a road map of a life lived, and a life lived well. They come out of nowhere sometimes. Like in natural pauses in our conversation, the points when an interview subject would normally quietly wait for whatever dumbass question was coming next or pull the string a little further on something that was already on the table. Doug has the greatest hits pulled up and ready to go though, and when pauses arrive you can see him punching B-13 on the jukebox — that’s one the folks always love — and once that one’s over we’re on to D-5 and then A-12. And it all feels random and part of a performance, but it’s not. It’s just Diek, and these stories are about people or moments that he loves, and he’s sharing them with you. And through the one-liners and Glory Days tales there emerges a central worldview and pattern that go a long
| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
way toward explaining who he is as a person. And, if that doesn’t turn out to be the case, no one ever got hurt hearing more Diek stories.
***
“One of my teammates [at the University of Illinois] and best friends was this guy who was a walk-on,” Dieken says. “Never played football in his life, but he ended up earning a scholarship, which kind of tells you where we were as a program at that time, but it also tells you something about this guy. “Well, one day, I’m over working out in the off-season and I get in my car to go to lunch, and on the radio they say President Reagan has been shot. I go to Bucci’s in Berea and I’m watching and they’re showing the video and, holy shit, that’s McCarthy. Tim McCarthy. The walk-on, my friend. He was a Secret Service agent and he was the guy that jumped in front of Reagan and got shot. You think, oh Christ. You wait to hear the news. Well, he’s gonna be okay. I wait, he recovers. Then I get this T-shirt made. It said Tim McCarthy Fan Club and it had a big bull’s-eye in the middle. So I send it to him. President Reagan transferred Tim to Chicago, and then he got transferred back to Nancy’s detail, and one day he’s on this ranch with the President who’s wearing some generic T-shirt. Reagan says he feels stupid wearing this thing. Tim says, ‘You think that’s bad?’ And he pulls up his shirt and underneath he’s got the fan club shirt. ‘Where’d you get that?’ Reagan says. Tim says a college buddy got it
for him and Reagan says, ‘You got some sick friends.’” Pranks, ball-busting, one-liners — it’s how Doug Dieken brings you into his world and shows that he likes you. If he’s not having a laugh with you, it’s a pretty clear indication of where you fall in his regard. If you mention someone and he calls them a “beauty,” that’s Diekenese for someone who is a worthy ballbusting opponent. If you mention someone and he says they’re a good guy, oftentimes that’ll be followed with a note that said person is also easy to make fun of, which is a high compliment, because Dieken himself is easy to make fun of and he’s just looking for someone to join him on his level. It’s affectionate ribbing, not hazing, and it comes from the sweetest part of his heart. “You’re not going to waste time on some jerk you don’t like,” he says. It shows up privately, and publicly. Like the time in 2007 when the Browns were in St. Louis. “Diek would tape a little introduction for the official broadcast and he’d write out what he was going to say on a legal pad. Old-school as it gets,” said Zac Jackson of The Athletic Cleveland, who worked for the Browns at the time along with his podcast partner and Fox Sports Ohio Indians in-game reporter Andre Knott. “So this one, Diek gets on the air and says, ‘Welcome to St. Louis, where Andre Knott saw the arch and ordered a Big Mac.’” His quick wit is also aimed straight at himself, his selfdeprecating sense of humor part and parcel of his personality on and off
air, a key component of his longevity and success as a broadcaster and a main reason he was and remains in demand on the banquet and Browns Backer circuit. In earlier years, those events were both something Dieken didn’t mind doing as well as a source of supplemental income, at a time when player salaries meant offseason jobs and basically any local commercial offer that came their way, especially during the Kardiac Kids era when anyone associated with the team was sought after to endorse anything and everything. (Dieken spent one early offseason substitute teaching back in his hometown of Streator, Illinois, a place where “meeting up to fight with the guys from the town 16 miles away” qualified as having fun on a weekend. He was largely assigned the “knuckleheads” and spent one class making a kid do pushups and situps as punishment and one other subbing in for the German teacher despite knowing little German. “At the beginning of training camp they asked what you did during the offseason and I thought I’d be funny so I said I taught German,” Dieken says. “They put it on my bubblegum card.”) Why show up and bore the people though? They know who you are and what you’ve done. And why, if you’re a ball-buster and could-be amateur comedian like Dieken, wouldn’t you turn something as simple and straightforward as the Our Lady of the Wayside benefit into a late-night roast? “I’d rather laugh and have fun than just sit there. The first year I did it [Duane] Kuiper was there,” Dieken says. Kuiper was a pal and a lockermate at the old stadium — Dieken says he could pick their locker out from any other, despite no nameplates on the wooden frames, because of the ashtray they shared — and a cosmically perfect foil for the left tackle: Kuiper had just one home run in his career and Dieken had one touchdown reception. “So I get up and start taking shots at Kuiper. The next year he got the message and came back at me.” The Doug Dieken and Duane Kuiper show became a fixture at the event until Kuiper was dealt from the Indians to the San Francisco Giants in 1981. The last Dieken-Kuiper affair, memorialized by the late great Hal Lebovitz, includes zingers from Mike Hargrove, Joe Charboneau — “The only thing Doug Dieken can’t hold is an audience” — and the two stars. Dieken: “Salute to Duane Kuiper, baseball’s first designated fielder.” Kuiper: “Now let’s make Doug Dieken feel at home. Would you please throw your dinner napkins
to the ground and move your chairs back 10 yards.” (Dieken’s propensity to hold was later celebrated by a friend at the Bay Village service department when Dieken retired, with a yellow line painted from his house down four or five blocks of Lake Road, totaling the number of holding penalty yards he incurred during his career.) Though the banquet circuit has slowed, he still does plenty of speaking engagements and not much, as you might imagine, has changed. ESPN Browns reporter Pat McManamon remembers an event they did together in Brunswick one year. “It was a pretty big crowd and as is his custom, Diek taps the mic and goes, ‘Testing, one, two, three,” McManamon said. “So I open and I say, ‘Thanks to whoever in the front row helped Diek get to three. Then I hear him in the background, ‘Oh, okay, that’s how it’s going to be.’ For the rest of the talk he didn’t get through 12 words without insulting me. He pounded me into the ground. He doesn’t retaliate; he escalates.” Like when, way back in the day, Dan Coughlin wrote one of his many Plain Dealer columns about Dieken. This one centered on the oh-so-lonely life of the poor bachelor living out on the lake by his lonely self with no friends. Dieken, whose number was listed in the phone book, was deluged with calls from strangers. “Okay, Danny, that’s how you want to play this,” Dieken says. “So I change my answering machine to say, hey everyone, me and Danny are still friends and, to show you we’re still friends, you should know he’s having a party on such-and-such day at his house, and I gave out his address and said Danny is a big collector of empty beer cans, so if you have any laying around make sure to bring him to his house.” When Coughlin got married, Dieken, who knew where the key to his house was hidden, installed mirrors on the bedroom ceiling and filled his bathtub with goldfish to toast the nuptials. “I didn’t know it leaked though,” he says. “So when he got back from his honeymoon it wasn’t real pretty.” “Part of it is the game will burn you out,” Dieken says, “if you don’t have fun with it. So you have fun at the expense of your teammates and friends; you see who you can pull a practical joke on. Some of those stories, we can’t really tell them here, even though it’s Scene. They’d fit in real well there, though. There were a few of them that were classics … Eh, we’ll just leave those out.”
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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FEATURE His friends and colleagues have some, of both the on- and off-therecord variety, and they’re hilarious and charming — but without fail, what they’re more interested in sharing are anecdotes and testimonials about Doug Dieken, the absolute class act and friend. The visits to the hospital, the helping hand, the calls to check up, the overwhelming kindnesses. Pat Daley, one of Diek’s neighbors and a longtime singer who performed at the islands and down in Key West, has a physical reminder of both sides. “I had to fly to Put-in-Bay one winter,” he said. “And while I was gone, he had a gravestone with a real bad poem on it — he’s not a writer — and it had something to do with Jimmy Buffet being the real king of Key West. Anyway, it was in my flower garden when I got home, which was the same day that Buddy Holly’s plane went down, and here’s my gravestone at my house with me on a flight. Anyway, every time we came home from a night of drinking, he’d go out back and take a piss on my gravestone. But he’s got a big heart, about as big as his head. He’s warm and generous, he just doesn’t let people see that too often.” Dieken’s broadcast partner, while without any urine-tinged sagas to share, feels the same way. “He’s incredibly vigilant and caring about what’s happening in my life,” said Jim Donovan. “I had a real health scare awhile ago, and he was incredible to me, almost like a father to me, and he’s a great dad. When Casey Coleman had cancer and was away from us, every Sunday we were in the broadcast booth, he made sure to dial up Casey and ask how he was feeling and doing. That’s the kind of guy he is. When we went to Baltimore, there’d be this very quiet message from the Ravens organization and it would filter to Doug and he would go see [Art] Modell in his declining health days. They had their differences, and the move wasn’t easy on Doug, but he maintained a relationship.” (They certainly did have their differences, especially in the days when Dieken was negotiating his own contract, but “I got along with Art; he was just a millionaire in a billionaire’s game,” Dieken says. “One of the last times I was out there and he was alive, I went at halftime to his loge to say hi. David, his son, was there, who has since passed. And I ask where his dad is. In the
12
bathroom. I only have so much time, and the clock’s ticking and I gotta get back. So I knock on the door and say, ‘Art, it’s Doug Dieken. You don’t owe me any money, you could have come out.’”) The humor is always inextricably linked to the relationships, and Dieken has a million of them, as a teammate, colleague, friend and as a man who most clearly represents what it means to be a Brown. Forget whatever marketing campaign is in vogue in any given year under any given newly minted Vice President. They could scrap it all and just throw a picture of Dieken’s face up and everyone would understand. “This is just a guy who’s been great for Cleveland, it’s his home and his heart,” said McManamon. “One day the city will look back and appreciate what they had for so long as a player and broadcaster.” “He’s ingrained in Cleveland,” said Withers. “He’s more than a color guy, more than a former player.” “I can assure you, when the Browns have training camp or some event, everyone gravitates to him,” said Jackson. “And whether they need him to take a sick kid around, or meet one of the big corporate spenders, or some coach’s wife’s dad’s high-school pal wants to talk, he’s there and an ambassador. You can’t teach that stuff, and you can’t fake that stuff. People rely on him. He’s an absolute treasure and my friends and family think it’s the coolest thing that I know him. Of course, the other day in Cincinnati I walked in and he was talking to a friend in the press box and I go by and he says, ‘Well, good morning, bitch.’ That’s Diek.”
***
“You’re just there to laugh or fill in the blanks,” Dieken says. “It’s like doing one of those paint-by-numbers. [The play-by-play guy] does all the work and you just fill in some paint. I’ve been very fortunate to work with great guys, and Jimmy [Donovan] … Jimmy’s an immense talent. He’s a fanatic about it. We used to go to Youngstown to get fireworks. So we’re driving and he’s listening to Wimbledon on the radio. You ever listen to tennis on the radio? You know how exciting that is? Forehand. Backhand. Forehand. Backhand. But he’s a student of everything. I have so much respect for him. It’s his show. I’m just window dressing.” This is Doug Dieken’s answer, at least the beginning of it, to a query about his role on the broadcast and his career behind the mic. This is also how it goes with Dieken. It’s always about someone else.
| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
Jim Donovan is the reason the broadcast succeeds. Before that, it was Nev Chandler and Jim Mueller and Casey Coleman who made the broadcast sing. It was Joe Tait, who called up Dieken one day to review one of his early broadcasts to give him pointers, who made him better at his job. The fact that he landed the gig at all the year after he retired? “The timing was right. Sometimes skill has nothing to do with it,” he says. His kids, a son and a daughter, are wonderfully talented and amazing people because they have good values, they did the work, and they grew up without ever making Dieken raise his voice to them. Great ambassadors for the Cleveland Browns? Oh, the two greatest are Lou Groza and Dino Lucarelli, not him. His sense of humor? Even that he won’t take credit for. That’s thanks to a guy he knew in college named Paul who was the king of all ball busters. But Dieken deserves credit for the broadcast, which is among the best you’ll find in the NFL. The pairing just works, and has from the start, even though Dieken and Donovan never even auditioned together as the team was creating its broadcast roster when the Browns returned in 1999. (Dieken had to re-audition for the job that he had held before the team left. “I did my audition with Jeff Phelps. They told you the game you’d be calling — they put it up on a TV and you’d do the game — so you could get familiar with the personnel,” says Dieken. “This was before they had NFL Game Pass and stuff, but I had friends who were still coaching, and since they told me what game we’d be doing, I told a friend, ‘Hey, get me a copy of that game on tape.’ So, I went in to do my thing and I had a pretty good idea what every play was going to be. I looked like a genius.”) “From the very first game we did together,” said Donovan, “the Hall of Fame Game in Canton, it was just two guys sitting around talking football like we had tickets to the game. It’s just kind of continued that way. He takes some of the emotion out of it. I can be very emotional. He can clinically say why a play did or didn’t work, or why he’s throwing the ball here and not there.” Indeed, while Donovan is Chubba Wubba Hubb-ing or bellowing, “RUN WILLIAM RUN,” Dieken is a counterbalance. The pair are polar opposites in the booth — Donovan seemingly running every step with Nick Chubb as he broke free on the 92-yard run, rhythmically punching
Dieken in the shoulder like his arm was a video game button; and Dieken on his stool, rarely moving. And in between emotional exaltations, Diek is in the background using every bit of information he has — his 14 years on the offensive line, his hours spent talking to players in the locker room about game plans and schemes — to do exactly what a great color guy should do — explain the nuts and bolts of the game. And he does so with an economy of language and assortment of groans, grunts, chortles and laughs that qualify as an entire separate dialect. “You always know when a bad play is going to happen, because he can see it developing,” said 92.3 The Fan’s Ken Carman. “That’s the nuance of it. If you listen closely, you can hear him in the middle of Jim’s call. He’ll either exclaim a little bit if something looks good or groan. You hear that, you know.” Carman and the morning show crew at 92.3 so dearly enjoyed Dieken’s guttural reactions last season that they created Game of Moans, wherein they’d play three clips of Dieken’s noises to him and have him guess to which plays they corresponded. Fun, games, etc., but for Carman and Donovan, the understanding of the game behind those primal utterances is invaluable. It’s why Dieken can tell Carman the host’s initial read on Joe Schobert was off-base and the linebacker was poised for big things, and he’d see it too if he paid attention to this and this and this. It’s why he can direct Donovan’s attention to the back corner of the facility during training camp, back where the scrubs were all gathered, and tell him to watch rookie undrafted free agent Desmond Harrison’s footwork and he could really put it together and be a starting tackle in the league. It’s why he can look anyone in the eye who at one point was excited that the Browns signed Dwayne Bowe and tell them it was going to end up a failure. (“You can add Kenny Britt’s name there too,” Dieken says.) He’s also privy to information that the rest of the media isn’t, not that Dieken enjoys being called a member of the media. It’s harder for him, he says, if a player he’s talking to in the locker room doesn’t know that he played. Not that he takes it as a personal affront — hey, you don’t know what I did for this franchise — but because if they know and trust him as a former player, they’re more inclined to be honest. By his estimation, maybe 75 percent of the players probably don’t know he played. That number feels high. Donovan noted Dieken commands
Photo courtesy of Cleveland Memory Project
immediate respect because of his playing days. “He walks the line really well,” Donovan said. “He’s a friend to them, but in the right way. He’s not a groupie. He can be an advisor, he can be anything they need him to be.” Joe Thomas agreed. While not every player knows, and while not every player takes the time to get to know him, the ones who do are rewarded. “The guys love his sense of humor, his surliness,” Thomas said. “They love hearing old stories. He doesn’t want the cliche media answer. He’s not looking for a whole lot. He just wants a flavor of what the players are thinking, some insight that might be beneficial to the broadcast. Normally you see someone from the media and you go into cliche mode, protect the team. But with Diek, he wants to develop relationships. I used to tease him, because he’s in the locker room during media time, that I think in my 11 years I never once saw him ask a question.” “I would say of the information I run across, I probably eat 40 percent of it,” Dieken says. “Because it’s none of my business. Some of it helps me understand the big picture, so when I’m making a comment I’m giving it with some background to it. But I don’t want to be a gossip columnist.” Which is a shame, because he would make a damn great one, at least for anyone interested in the unreported inner workings and palace intrigue of a place as rich with fabulous yarns of personal and professional malfeasance as Berea, Ohio. The sum total of Browns’ secrets Dieken must know at this point would be enough to stop a Myles Garrett blitz dead in its tracks. “I can’t say he knows where all the bodies are buried,” said Zac Jackson, “but he knows the directions and certainly has the relevant cell phone numbers.” But, as Dieken says, you don’t last this long by sharing everything you know, and at every turn, when prompted to dish on this coach or that GM, Dieken chooses to take the high road. But trust that he knows, and has a good sense of whether something is going to work out or not, even if he doesn’t share the information or opinion with anyone else because he’s a professional, and, either way, the Browns couldn’t possibly be dumb enough to really do that thing he heard about. “I had heard about Sashi [Brown] prior to it happening,” Dieken says, “but I never told anyone because I didn’t think it would actually
Henry Sheppard, left, and Doug Dieken of the Cleveland Browns share a laugh.
happen. I mean, I was thinking, no, they wouldn’t … ”
***
“You know, I might be the only guy that took a college team out on strike,” Dieken says. “We had a slush fund, but it was the previous coach’s, and we were on probation all four years I was there. We were really bad (8-32). There’s some 500-page book on the history of Illinois athletics and I opened it and looked for our years and it was two pages and it was titled, ‘The Lean Years.’ “Anyway, the new coach got stuck with a bad time. My senior year, we were getting ready to play Ohio State, and the assistant comes up to me and says they fired the coach, Jim Valek. Well, he said he was going to be fired after the game. The boosters wanted him fired. My team isn’t the boosters. So we drew up a letter to the athletic board and told them they made a mistake. I stood up and said, if he’s not here on Monday, I’m not here on Monday. Anyone else with me? Thankfully, everyone raised their hands. So they had to rehire him, and the next week we were playing Purdue in their homecoming game, which would have been real ugly if we didn’t show up. After the game, I gave coach the game ball and I was listening to the radio that night and I hear, ‘In West Lafayette, they gave a coach the game ball.’ And it was Howard Cosell. Of all the things I’ve done in sports, that’s probably the thing I’m most proud of, because there’s no loyalty anymore.” There is with Doug Dieken, and not in the conditional and temporary way most people claim to be loyal. It’s
not something that’s convenient or easy or self-serving. It’s unwavering and it’s real. It’s why he was now telling a story about John Dorsey gathering all the new draftees and free agent signings for a big dinner at the stadium before training camp. Dorsey had invited eight Browns’ alumni, including Dieken, to join the affair and talk to the new players. It seemed pretty unremarkable. Doesn’t this sort of thing happen all the time? “Yeah, well, not really,” Dieken says. “When Holmgren was here, not that he would care, he had a guy that ran the alumni and cared about the alumni and he wanted them to be treated with respect. But then when he left, it kind of faded away. The only other time I remember doing something like that was when Bill Belichick was here. Whether you liked him or not, you knew he had a respect for tradition and the history of the game and team.” That history is intrinsic to Dieken’s tandem roles as announcer and broadcaster — as Tom Withers said, “That connection between the fans and the radio booth … people want to hear from a Browns player’s perspective, especially an offensive lineman who’s hit Joe Greene in the balls” — and it’s something he fiercely believes when asked about who might replace him one day. “Yeah, I’m protective,” Dieken says. “There was a point in time when I had someone I kind of wanted to hand it off to if I could when the time came, but they kind of got away from the Browns.” That would be Aaron Shea, who played for the Browns and worked for the organization as a player
liaison during Randy Lerner’s tenure. Shea was unfortunately jettisoned by Ray Famer. “Aaron can talk,” Dieken says. He also has high compliments for Joe Thomas, of course, who is endeavoring into media after his retirement, and Tim Couch, who Dieken recommended to do a Browns’ preseason game, and Dustin Fox, who did a long stint as a fill-in sideline reporter this year after Nathan Zegura’s suspension. “You got to have someone doing the job that understands the mentality of a football player, guys who can talk to the whole locker room, guys who don’t see black and white, and Shea was that. I guess I just have a loyalty to guys that have played for the Browns.” Dieken, if you’re wondering, is not actively pondering retirement, though, “After 1-31, it was not getting to be that fun, that’s for sure. “You want to quit on your own terms. It’s like when you’re a player. You want to continue to play, but you don’t want to be a negative to the team. You have to be honest with yourself. Much like up there, you’re seeing what you’re seeing, and you’re trying to talk about it, but if it gets to the point where it starts getting gargled, I hope I’m smart enough to say it’s time to go. It would be neat, I’ve thought, if I could quit when I was 73. But I still get an offseason, so who knows.” He waits a beat. “Although, as a friend told me, who can tell the difference?”
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
GET OUT everything you should do this week Photo by Emanuel Wallace
WED
12/26
MUSIC
Jim Brickman’s A Joyful Christmas A Northeast Ohio native, singer-pianist Jim Brickman routinely brings his Christmas tours to town in December. This year is no different. Brickman’s A Joyful Christmas tour comes to Severance Hall at 7:30 tonight. Special guests include singer Anne Cochran and electric violinist Tracy Silverman. The show will include “carols, classics and original songs.” Tickets start at $35. (Jeff Niesel) 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com. COMEDY
Home for the Holidays Cleveland’s comedy scene just keeps getting better. New comics keep cropping up and the veterans continue to hone their skills. Because some of the best comics will be in town for the holidays, Hilarities has booked them for one special night. Dubbed Home for the Holidays, tonight’s show features Mike Paramore, Mike Polk Jr., Brendan Eyre, Raj Suresh, Ryan Dalton, Mary Santora and Brian Kenny. The jokes start flowing at 8 p.m., and tickets are $10 to $15. (Niesel) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com. SPORTS
Monsters vs. Rochester Americans The Cleveland Monsters take on the Rochester Americans tonight at 7 at the Q, with a special Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle theme. The first 2,500 kids (12 and under) will receive one TMNT mask, and there will be a special jersey give-away too. The Monsters return to the Q at 7 on Friday night to take on the Grand Rapids Griffins. As part of the club’s special 1-2-3 Friday promotion, there will be $1 Pepsis, $2 Sugardale hotdogs and $3 select 12-ounce beers at that game. Consult the Q website for ticket prices. (Niesel) 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, theqarena.com. THEATER
Spamilton The more successful something is, the more likely it is that someone somewhere will want to take the piss out of it with a parody. That would explain Spamilton: An American Parody. Created by and performed by a versatile cast of seven, it pokes fun
The popular club night I Got Five On It celebrates its 13th anniversary. See: Saturday.
at Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Broadway hit about Alexander Hamilton. Created by Gerard Alessandrini, the comic mastermind behind the popular spoof Forbidden Broadway, the show plays at the Hanna Theatre tonight at 7:30. Performances continue through Jan. 6. Tickets start at $39. (Niesel) 2067 East 14th St., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
THU
12/27
Pat, who writes about her childhood in her memoir Rabbit, can joke about her troubled past. “I don’t want to leave my kids to my baby daddy — he can’t read,” she likes to joke about what was going through her head when she got shot. She performs tonight at 7:30 at the Improv, where she has shows scheduled through Sunday. Tickets start at $17. (Niesel) 1148 Main Ave., 216-696-IMPROV, clevelandimprov.com. FILM
COMEDY
Nate Bargatze Originally from Old Hickory, Tennessee, slow-talking comedian Nate Bargatze took inspiration from his dad, a former clown turned world class magician. In one bit, Bargatze talks about seeing a dead horse lying in someone’s yard: If you ever have to move the thing, you “just run out there like you love it and it’s the third one you’ve done that day.” His narrative style is particularly unique; he performs at 8 tonight at Hilarities, where he has shows scheduled through Sunday. Tickets start at $25. (Niesel) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.
They Shall Not Grow Old For They Shall Not Grow Old, director Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings) has restored, colorized and transformed grainy, black-and-white footage of the World War I battlefront to allow modern audiences to experience what it was like to be there. Designed to mark the centennial of the World War I Armistice, the film shows today at 4 and 7 p.m. at area theaters as part of a nationwide release from Fathom Events. Special content offering firsthand insights into the making of the film follows. See the website for details. (Niesel) fathomevents.com.
FRI
12/28
COMEDY
FILM
Ms. Pat Ms. Pat’s bio reads like that of a gangsta rapper. A former drug dealer, she bought her first Cadillac at age 16, and she’s been shot twice. She’s been arrested numerous times too. Now Ms.
Georgia O’Keeffe Joan Allen and Jeremy Irons star in Georgia O’Keeffe, a 2009 biopic about the tumultuous relationship between the painter and her husband, photographer Alfred Stieglitz. The film
screens at 7 tonight and at 1 p.m. on Sunday at the Cleveland Museum of Art, which currently has an exhibit of O’Keeffe’s work on display. Tickets are $10, or $7 for CMA members. (Niesel) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.
SAT
12/29
COMEDY
Holiday Hangover Show Dubbed the Holiday Hangover Show, Pickwick and Frolic’s year-in-review revue will feature standup, sketches, music and “all kinds of shenanigans.” Comedians slated to perform include Michael Busch, Mike Polk Jr. and Chelsea Davison. It all starts at 9 p.m. Tickets cost $20. (Niesel) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com. NIGHTLIFE
I Got Five On It One of the country’s longest-running club parties, I Got Five On It will celebrate its 13th anniversary tonight at Touch Supper Club. Promoters boast that “the party provides the best in ’60s, ’70s, ’80s and ’90s music ... from disco to funk to rock, all mixed with classic hip-hop.” DJs Mick Batyske, Terry Urban and Robert Ivanov co-founded the event. Urban, Babs, Nicnacc, and Eso & Friends will all perform tonight. The party gets rolling at 10. (Niesel) 2710 Lorain Ave., 216-631-5200, touchohiocity.com.
| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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GET OUT COMEDY
Dave Hill A Cleveland native, writer, comedian and self-proclaimed “rocker extraordinaire” Dave Hill published his second book, Dave Hill Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, a terrific collection of humorous essays, last year. He mostly writes about his experiences in Northeast Ohio with an emphasis on his relationship with his father in the wake of his mother’s death. Both funny and poignant, it’s a great read. Tonight’s show might feature a few excerpts from it, but Hill has recently refined his standup show, which sometimes even includes a segment during which he plugs in his electric guitar and shreds. Mary Santora and John Bruton join him for tonight’s show, which takes place at 7:30 at the Grog Shop. Tickets are $10. (Niesel) 2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-321-5588, grogshop.gs. YOGA + MUSIC
Om for the Holiday: Yoga & Live Music Locals Jackie Sliva and Mike Bashur host this morning’s Om for the Holiday, a yoga and live music event that takes place at the Beachland Ballroom. It promises to be “an invigorating and relaxing yoga practice” accompanied by “dreamy, meditative” electric guitar in the Ballroom. It all goes down at 11:30 a.m., and tickets cost $20 for the yoga and music, or $23 to add a specialty cocktail after the class. (Niesel) 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.
that features all-original songs and “unforgettable experiences.” Promoters promise that all your favorite American Girl characters will be on hand for the event. The performance takes place at 2 p.m. at the Akron Civic Theatre. Tickets start at $28. (Niesel) 182 South Main St., Akron, 330-253-2488, akroncivic.com.
SUN
12/30
THEATER
American Girl Live! An all-new musical, American Girl Live! is a stage production
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unhinged energy. And he’s a talker. He’s been a regular on all the usual late-night shows and currently hosts his own podcast, The Ian Bagg Show, where he and a couple of pals riff on popular culture for two hours at a time. He performs two special New Year’s Eve shows tonight at 7 and 10. Tickets start at $79.95. (Niesel) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com. FOOD + MUSIC
Countdown to Noon New Year’s Eve Brunch Moss Stanley and Nitebridge will perform today at noon at the Music Box Supper Club as the club hosts a Countdown to Noon New Year’s Eve Brunch. Tickets to see the band cost $12, and the brunch will set you back an extra $18. The brunch includes items such as scrambled eggs, smoked bacon and sausage, breakfast potatoes, seasonal salad and breakfast burritos. (Niesel) 1148 Main Ave., 216-242-1250, musicboxcle.com. MUSIC
DEBBIE HARRY of BLONDIE Class of 2006 Photo by James Shive
LY I M A F S& D N E I FR N? W O T IN
R I E H T K C RO IDAY! HOL t io residen h O t s a e 19 North y visiting Get the $ for you PLUS an c. 31st* e e rate onlin ily now through D fam friends &
MUSIC
Princemas DJ Darrick Grant will honor the late, great Prince at tonight’s show, dubbed Princemas. He’ll play the hits but also B-sides, rarities and tunes by other like-minded artists. It all starts at 9 p.m. at the Grog Shop, and tickets are $10. (Niesel) 2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., 216-321-5588, grogshop.gs.
special sparkling punch. Organizers encourage patrons to dress in era-appropriate threads (parachute pants, choker necklaces, and even flame-motif pedal pushers are highly recommended). There’s no cover charge, and it all starts at 9 p.m. (Niesel) 1086 West 11th St., 216-239-1508, punchbowlsocial.com.
TICKETS AT
rockhall.com / local19
*Online Only. Terms & conditions apply.
MON
12/31
NIGHTLIFE
A ’90s-Themed New Year’s Eve Party For New Year’s Eve, Punch Bowl Social, on the Flats’ east bank, will host a special “totally radical” party inspired by the 1990s. There will be a balloon drop at midnight and
| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
COMEDY
Ian Bagg If you go to see Ian Bagg tonight at Hilarities, you might want to think twice about sitting in the front row. The comic loves to pick on audience members and ask personal questions about their sexual preferences. Though he’s not nearly as manic as Robin Williams, he still possesses Williams’
Erich Bergen and the Hollywood Songbook Erich Bergen, who currently stars as Blake Moran on the TV drama Madam Secretary, also sings and performs in concert venues all over the world. He joins the Cleveland Pops Orchestra tonight for a special New Year’s Eve concert at Severance Hall. Expect to hear “songs from the big and small screen.” A pop band and a rock band will be on hand for after-concert dancing that’ll continue into the new year. There will be cash bars, refreshments and desserts for purchase as well as a balloon drop at midnight. Consult the Cleveland Orchestra website for ticket prices and more info. (Niesel) 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com. NIGHTLIFE
Freedom Children Presents Pika’s New Year’s Eve Hosted by Undergod & Angelswurld, tonight’s New Year’s Eve party at Now That’s Class promises to be a rowdy good time. Tickets — $12 in advance, $15 at the door — include hors d’oeuvres and a glass of champagne for the toast at midnight. There will be four DJs, and a special performance by the terrific local hip-hop group Red Rose Panic. It all starts at 9 p.m. (Niesel) 11213 Detroit Ave., 216-221-8576, nowthatsclass.net. FILM
Movie Mondays Every Monday, Cleveland Cinemas hosts $5 Movie Mondays, where
film fans can catch up on the latest Hollywood flicks for significantly reduced prices. Bring your friends and family and make Movie Mondays a weekly tradition — many theaters even offer discounted concession stand items. Participating theaters include Apollo Theatre, Capitol Theatre, Cedar Lee Theatre, Chagrin Cinemas, Shaker Square Cinemas and Tower City Cinemas. Unfortunately, additional charges apply for 3-D movies. (Alaina Nutile) clevelandcinemas.com. NIGHTLIFE
New Year’s Eve Soiree For the sixth consecutive year, Lago will host an extravagant New Year’s Eve party. There will be dining, dancing and entertainment at the black-tie optional event. DJ Flaco Flash will be on hand, along with DJ Maestro and a French jazz band. There will also be a special countdown to midnight and confetti drop as 2018 becomes 2019. Full admission tickets include a decadent buffet dinner from 7 to 10 p.m. in the Riviera Ballroom. All-inclusive tickets are $200 per person or $350 per couple. For those who just want to partake in the late-night festivities, there’s a $150 single ticket option that allows entry at 10 p.m. (Niesel) 1091 West 10th St., 216-862-8065, lagoeastbank.com. HOLIDAY HAPPENINGS
New Year’s Eve Celebration Hofbräuhaus will roll out an exclusive menu and special beers for its New Year’s Eve celebration. There will be two seatings — one at 7:15 p.m. and one at 8:30 p.m. Then, there will be a New Year’s Eve countdown streamed live from the Bier Hall. Starting at 4:30 p.m., well-known polka accordion player Fred Zwick will perform and Schnicklefritz will take the stage at 8 p.m. (Niesel) 1550 Chester Ave., 216-621-2337, hofbrauhauscleveland.com.
NIGHTLIFE
COMEDY
New Year’s Eve Party Package 2018 Each year, Pickwick and Frolic throws a massive New Year’s Eve party. This year is no different. The New Year’s Eve package includes live music and dancing with Nitebridge, numerous hors d’oeuvres stations, a balloon drop, a sparkling toast at midnight, a live countdown from New York and a Raise Your Glass: The NYE Cabaret performance. It all starts at 9:30 p.m., and tickets cost $60. (Niesel) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.
Jay Phillips You may recognize foul-mouthed comic Jay Phillips from his small roles in Baby Mama or Semi Pro. Phillips, who’s often compared to Richard Pryor, likes to make fun of white people who try to act cool by wearing Obama T-shirts. He performs special NYE shows tonight at 7:30 and 10 at the Improv, where he has performances scheduled through Sunday. Tickets are $30 to $45. (Niesel) 1148 Main Ave., 216-696-IMPROV, clevelandimprov.com.
FAMILY FUN
NIGHTLIFE
Noon Year’s Eve For those who don’t want to stay up until midnight to celebrate the New Year, the Cleveland MetroParks Zoo offers its annual Noon Year’s Eve party. There will be music, dancing and crafts, and a ball drop at noon. All activities are included with zoo admission. You can also upgrade to a special VIP experience that includes brunch, a character meetand-greet, and family-friendly activities. Check the zoo’s website for times and ticket prices. (Niesel) 3900 Wildlife Way, 216-661-6500, clemetzoo.com.
Studio 54 New Year’s Eve In keeping with the Studio 54 theme of tonight’s New Year’s Eve party at Luxe, DJ Mazi Jahi will spin New York-style disco from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. Disco attire is preferred, and there will be a complimentary champagne toast at midnight. There’s no cover, but for those interested in getting dinner, Luxe will have a special winter dinner menu and feature seasonal cocktails as well. The enclosed patio will be heated, and a second patio bar will be open. (Niesel) 6605 Detroit Ave., 216-920-0600, luxecleveland.com.
NIGHTLIFE
MUSIC
NYE Rainbow Ball Billed as “the most glittering, colorful, inclusive New Year’s Eve party ever,” tonight’s Rainbow Ball promises to be “a celebration of the rainbow to benefit Akron Pride Festival.” The $100 ticket includes entertainment, a dance party, food by Moe’s restaurant and a 5-hour open bar. There will be appearances by Cherry Veneer and 2018 Miss Akron Pride Festival Alejandra J-Love. It all starts at 7:30 p.m. at the spectacular Akron Civic Theatre. (Niesel) 182 South Main St., Akron, 330-253-2488, akroncivic.com.
The Sunrise Jones This local group’s members come from various bands, including the local, long-running Copperfoot. They jammed one night on a whim and decided they just wanted to play some covers that they were passionate about. The group grew from there and put together a setlist of fantastic covers. The band specializes in Beatles tunes, but you can expect to hear a wide mix of music at tonight’s special New Year’s Eve gig at the Music Box. The show starts at 9, and tickets are $25 to $30. (Niesel) 1148 Main Ave., 216-242-1250, musicboxcle.com.
TUE
01/01
FOOD
New Year’s Day Brunch Though New Year’s Day is a holiday for many establishments, Prosperity Social Club will be open from 10:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. to serve a special brunch. In addition to spicy shrimp and grits, andouille-stuffed empanadas, fluffy buttermilk pancakes and other midday dining favorites, Prosperity will offer specials like Hoppin’ John soup, pork schnitzel with cabbage and noodles and browned butter gravy, and salmon cake Eggs Benedict with peppered bacon and stadium mustard hollandaise. Special cocktails include Hey, Nineteen, concocted from Seagrams 7 Blended Whiskey, sweet vermouth, cranberry juice and ginger beer. Reservations are recommended but not required. (Niesel) 1109 Starkweather Ave., 216-937-1938, prosperitysocialclub.com. FOOD + MUSIC
A Special Jazz Brunch Cleveland Jazz Orchestra singer Evelyn Wright teams up with piano master David Thomas today at noon for Nighttown’s special Jazz Brunch. Wright sings jazz, R&B and pop, and Youngstown native Thomas — a public school music teacher, a faculty member at Cleveland State University, a musical staff member at the Southeast Seventh Day Adventist Church, and a minister of music at St. Timothy Baptist Church — was an original member of the R&B group Sweet Thunder. (Niesel) 12387 Cedar Rd., Cleveland Heights, 216-795-0550, nighttowncleveland.com.
scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene
AN EPIC ADVENTURE STORY!
JAN 12 – FEB 10 • OUTCALT THEATRE written by LISA PETERSON & DENIS O’HARE based on Homer’s The Iliad, translated by ROBERT FAGLES directed by TARAH FLANAGAN & ANDREW CARLSON
TICKETS START AT $25 | STUDENT AND GROUP DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE
216.241.6000 | clevelandplayhouse.com | clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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STAGE HUZZAH! CLEVELAND SCENE THEATER AWARDS, 2018 Complete with a virtual, solid-gold statuette for every single winner! By Christine Howey
EVER SINCE WE GOT OUR FIRST PARTICIPATION ribbon for archery at day camp, we’ve all been hooked on awards. And why not? Our poor egos take such a battering every day, it’s wonderful when someone stops and tells everyone, “Hey, you did good!” The following theaters and individuals did real good last year.
John R. Crawford-Spinelli, Oklahoma!, Porthouse Theatre Leilani Barrett, Memphis, Cain Park BEST MUSICAL DIRECTORS OF THE YEAR Jonathan Swoboda, Next to Normal, Porthouse Theatre Jordan Cooper, Memphis, Cain Park Matt Dolan, Avenue Q, Blank Canvas Theatre Jennifer Korecki, Oklahoma!, Porthouse Theatre
BEST PLAYS OF THE YEAR Boogieban, None Too Fragile Theater The Royale, Cleveland Play House Memphis, Cain Park Jane Eyre, Cleveland Musical Theatre Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Beck Center Passing Strange, Karamu House Grounded, Dobama Theatre Hamilton, Playhouse Square Don Quijote, New World Performance Lab
BEST SINGLE PERFORMANCES OF THE YEAR Nicole Sumlin, Memphis, Cain Park Kelvette Beacham, Caroline or Change, Mercury Theatre Company Anjanette Hall, Grounded, Dobama Theatre Robert Hunter, Jelly Belly, Ensemble Theatre Douglas F. Bailey, Memphis, Cain Park Jairo Cuesta, Don Quijote, New World Performance Lab Jeannine Gaskin, In the Blood, Convergence-Continuum Theater Sam Johnson, Oklahoma!, Porthouse Theatre Robert Ellis, Sweat, Cleveland Play House Dana Hart, East of Eden, Ensemble Theatre
BEST SCENIC DESIGNERS OF THE YEAR Aaron Benson, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Beck Center Cameron Michalak, John, Dobama Theatre Jason Ardizzone-West, The Royale, Cleveland Play House Douglas Puskas, Ella Enchanted, Dobama Theatre Inda Blatch-Geib, Sassy Mamas, Karamu House Don McBride, Shrek, Beck Center
BEST COSTUME DESIGNERS OF THE YEAR Kim Krumm Sorenson, Macbeth, Great Lakes Theater Inda Blatch-Geib, Sassy Mamas, Karamu House Martha Hally, Pride and Prejudice, Great Lakes Theater Sydney Gallas, Jane Eyre, Cleveland Musical Theatre
BEST SOUND DESIGNERS OF THE YEAR Matthew Webb, Macbeth, Great Lakes Theater Daniel Perelstein, The Invisible Hand, Cleveland Play House Brian Kenneth Armour, Boogieban, None Too Fragile Theatre Jeremy Dobbins, The Effect, Dobama Theatre Jane Shaw, The Royale, Cleveland Play House
BEST LIGHTING DESIGNERS OF THE YEAR BEST DUO PERFORMANCES OF THE YEAR Derdriu Ring and Michael Mauldin, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Beck Center David Peacock and Travis Teffner, Boogieban, None Too Fragile Theater Scott Esposito and his puppet named Rod, Avenue Q, Blank Canvas Theatre Lynn Robert Berg and Erin Partin, Macbeth, Great Lakes Theater Mary Francis Miller and Ananias J. Dixon, Sunset Baby, Dobama Theatre Catherine Albers and Dorothy Silver, John, Dobama Theatre
Rick Martin, Macbeth, Great Lakes Theater Marcus Dana, Grounded, Dobama Theatre Benjamin Gantose, Jane Eyre, Cleveland Musical Theatre Michael Boll, The Invisible Hand, Cleveland Play House Adam Ditzer, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Beck Center Alan C. Edwards, The Royale, Cleveland Play House
BEST PROJECTION DESIGNERS OF THE YEAR BEST DIRECTORS OF THE YEAR Donald Carrier, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Beck Center Martin Friedman, Merrily We Roll Along, Lakeland Civic Theatre Nathan A. Lilly, Passing Strange, Karamu House Terri Kent, Anything Goes, Porthouse Miles J. Sternfeld, Jane Eyre, Cleveland Musical Theater Pierre-Jacques Brault, Caroline or Change, Mercury Theatre Company James Slowiak, Don Quijote, New World Performance Lab Justin Emeka, Sunset Baby, Dobama Theatre Laura Kepley, Sweat, Cleveland Play House Sean Derry, Boogieban, None Too Fragile Theater Robert Barry Fleming, The Royale, Cleveland Play House Ian Wolfgang Hinz, Jelly Belly, Ensemble Theatre Greg Cesear, Plath and Orion, Cesear’s Forum Laley Lippard, The Effect, Dobama Theatre
BEST CHOREOGRAPHERS OF THE YEAR Martin Cespedes, Jane Eyre, Cleveland Musical Theatre Mary Ann Black, Anything Goes, Porthouse Theatre
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
T. Paul Lowry, Ella Enchanted, Dobama Theatre Brittany Merenda, Shrek, Beck Center
BEST THEATER FOR UNDER-SERVED GROUPS Cleveland Public Theatre, which continues to create new and exciting opportunities for often-marginalized populations. These include the Y-Haven Theater Project for formerly homeless men; Teatro Publico de Cleveland, a local Latino theater company; Brick City Theater for youths aged 5-14 and family members who live in public housing; and Masrah Cleveland Al-Arabi for Arabicspeaking communities. They do all this (and much more) in addition to mounting a full menu of produced plays for their regularly scheduled season. Once again in 2018, these organizations and individuals proved how vibrant and vital the theater scene is here in Cleveland. They’ve all been so darn good I’m also including soft virtual cleaning cloths so they can polish their virtual statuettes. Enjoy!
scene@clevescene.com t@christinehowey
MOVIES VICE’S VICES Cheney biopic fails to condemn By Sam Allard Photo courtesy of Annapurna Pictures
VICE, A POLITICAL BIOPIC starring Christian Bale as Dick Cheney, opened Christmas Day in wide release and enjoys the distinction of being the 2018 film nominated for the most Golden Globes. Its six nominations include Picture (musical or comedy), Director (Adam McKay), Actor (Bale), Supporting Actress (Amy Adams), Supporting Actor (Sam Rockwell), and Screenplay. The three acting nominations are well-deserved. The film is a close tonal relative of McKay’s most recent film, The Big Short, which also tackled 21st century American history and received wide critical acclaim. But McKay’s gimmicky explanatory style, which sometimes drifts into effective satire, left me wholly unsatisfied as a commentary on one of the most bloodthirsty imperialists in American history. Vice is no evisceration of Cheney. It hardly even rises to the level of an SNL sketch as a comedic skewering. If anything, it’s a sympathetic portrait, dominated by powerhouse actors who, by virtue of their talent, humanize the subjects they portray. Bale, in particular, is an uncanny physical simulacrum of the bald and paunchy vice president. As George W. Bush, Rockwell doesn’t disappear as entirely, but he channels the president’s gregarious
stupidity. When Cheney agrees to run alongside Bush on the condition that he take a more active, less ceremonial role as VP — he wants to oversee a few things personally: you know, the military, energy, foreign relations, small stuff — Bush nods happily while sucking on a chicken wing. It portrays what we already know, that Cheney was the evil mastermind of the Bush White House and Bush was the electable frat boy with whom, it was often said, anyone would enjoy having a beer. If there is a “moral” to this tale, it is that the lust for executive power as embodied by Cheney is utterly void of ideology. That it is void of morality goes without saying. Cheney himself is an empty vessel. As a young intern in Congress, he announces that he’s a Republican moments after a speech by Donald Rumsfeld (Steve Carrell), mostly because he thought he was funny. Shortly thereafter, he earnestly asks Rumsfeld, “What do we believe?” And Rumsfeld laughs in his face. He closes his office door and Carrell’s cackling continues until the scene changes. What a hoot! In what might be considered the film’s moral climax, Cheney must advise his daughter on a key political stance, and his decision, I guess, is meant to be a nail in a coffin. Even the one thing Cheney supposedly
believes in, he is willing to sacrifice. But for the most part, we get gimmicks: a scene performed as a Shakespearean drama — terrific parody, to be honest; the orchestration of Iraqi destruction via steakhouse menu; charts and graphs explaining the “Unitary Executive Theory” and so forth. When Bush announces the Iraqi invasion in March 2003, we watch him reading from a teleprompter.
Then the camera tilts down and we see his shaking leg. Then we cut to Baghdad, where we see a man, huddled with his family beneath a table. His leg shakes, too, before they are bombed into oblivion. The Bush/Cheney story should not be a “musical or comedy.”
sallard@clevescene.com t@scenesallard
SPOTLIGHT: AQUAMAN AQUAMAN, THE LATEST AND brightest detritus leaking from the DC Extended Universe’s garbage can, stars Jason Momoa as a half-man, half-Atlantan meta-human who can breathe underwater and speak to fish. The bloated two-and-a-half hour action epic is visually indistinguishable from a Lisa Frank folder. It opened in wide release Friday. In keeping with DC’s model, character development takes a back seat to special effects. And so we’ve got, among things, armies of sea creatures waging war underwater in such florid aquatic spectacles that it’s probably safer to view in sunglasses. We’ve also got multiple settings — the
desert sands of Africa, the cobbled streets of Sicily, the palatial ruins of Atlantis itself “somewhere at the bottom of the Atlantic” — all of which are staging grounds for enormous, explosive sequences at the hands of director James Wan (Saw, The Conjuring). As an origin story, which this film ought to have been — notwithstanding Aquaman’s introduction in previous DC films — it sucks. We’ve got a single, pretitle-card scene of no more than 90 seconds. It’s young Arthur Curry, getting bullied in an aquarium and then calming a shark down with an outstretched hand. Later on, we’ve got
some “training” flashbacks in which a teenage Arthur learns cool fight moves from an Atlantan vizier, whose name is Vulko (Willem Dafoe). Incidentally, what’s up with Atlantis? Do any of these sea people have jobs? Where are all these insane high-tech underwater guns coming from? Where, for that matter, are all the women? As best I can remember, there were only two, one of whom, Queen Atlanna (Nicole Kidman), was banished after she deigned to reproduce with a human man — hence, Aquaman; and the other of whom is nicknamed Mera (Amber Heard), Aquaman’s love interest who may or may not also be his half-sister.
She looks distractingly like a liveaction Little Mermaid. All that said, Jason Momoa is not only a stunning physical presence but gruff and charming in the lead role. He instantly elevates Aquaman above the likes of the abominable Batman V Superman, which was not only bad but somber to boot. Momoa may not be taking things seriously, but his occasional levity, even in the confines of a bad script, beats the dour constipation of Ben Affleck’s Bruce Wayne. — Sam Allard
sallard@clevescene.com t@scenesallard
| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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EAT TO THE CLEVELAND DINING SCENE, TURN, TURN, TURN A year of comings, goings, and what waits around the corner By Douglas Trattner Photo by Karin McKenna
THIS PAST YEAR, MORE THAN any in very recent history, has been one of dizzying highs and lows. For every thrilling new restaurant opening, it seemed, we were dealt a sad blow thanks to the loss of an icon or two. While it’s always painful to say goodbye to an old friend, we can find solace in both the slate of exciting new options as well as the looming culinary projects that are just around the bend. In terms of losses, it’s hard to think of a more devastating 1-23 punch than the departure of Coquette Patisserie, La Cave du Vin and Bistro 185. Whereas Coquette was a supernova whose existence was hot but brief, La Cave was a part of our lives for more than 20 years. In between was Bistro 185, an anchor of the Collinwood neighborhood for almost 15 years. When the Sausage Shoppe closed its doors this past spring, Old Brooklyn lost a neighbor that had been in its midst for 80 years. Other high-profile losses include Hot Sauce Williams, which sold its last Polish Boy on Carnegie this past spring, Brasa Grill, whose 15-year run as downtown’s only Brazilian steakhouse just ended, and Grove Hill, an overlooked star in the Chagrin Falls dining scene. Also in the loss column go Cork and Cleaver, Bac Asian Bistro, Latitude 41n, Cleveland Pickle, Poison Berry Bakery, Tremont General, and Ivory Keys, which both came and went. (Ciao Bistro currently is on Death Watch.) The good news is that 2018 also welcomed a large class of notable newcomers that should serve us well for years to come. Ohio City Galley brought fresh energy to the old Massimo Da Milano space thanks to a handful of unique eateries tied together by a lively barroom. Ohio’s first Shake Shack brought the expected level of buzz when it opened at Pinecrest, matched almost pound for pound by the christening of La Plaza Taqueria at the beloved west-side Mexican foods store. When it comes to sheer size, no opening
was bigger than that of Fat Head’s, which opened its ginormous new brewery, restaurant and beer hall in Middleburg Heights. After reworking the old Diner on Clifton space, the owners of that building opened Landmark, a sharp fine-casual eatery. Meanwhile, the owner of the old diner made waves of his own by unveiling the on-trend Dinerbar on Clifton a few hundred feet away. Trio took over the old Bac space in Tremont, Bull and Bird said yes to the venerable Gamekeeper’s property in Chagrin Falls, and Blue Habanero turned the lights back on at the shimmering Arcadian location in Gordon Square. Larder and Lox, Stock and Brisket demonstrate that Jewish deli food deserves its rightful place in the annals of food fame, while Barroco’s third location, this one at Crocker Park, proves that arepa adoration is universal. Edwins Butcher Shop has opened in the Buckeye-Shaker neighborhood; in addition to serving the community, the fresh-food market offers another level of culinary training for excons. At the top of our must-visit list is Distill Table and Rood Food in
Lakewood, Mitchell’s Ice Cream at Van Aken, and Polpetta in Rocky River. So what’s next, you ask? Very shortly, the Van Aken District will unveil its Market Hall, a 20,000-square-foot food hub filled with familiar names like Banter, On the Rise and Bottlehouse. Down the road, Michael’s Genuine and a new Jonathon Sawyer restaurant will join them. As soon as the Cleveland Bagel boys acquire new passports, they will cross the river and open a new storefront and production kitchen on Carnegie, adjacent to Souper Market. And speaking of the Souper Market, that hot-soup concept will open a new ladle lounge in the former home of Tea House Noodles on East Sixth Street. Very soon, the owners of the Plum will open Good Company in the former Vita Urbana space in Battery Park, hoping that they’ll have the right touch when it comes to a challenging address. Meanwhile, the former Flip Side spot in the Flats is being reworked into Good Night John Boy, a faux dive bar dripping with nostalgia. The owners of Kensington Pub had a goal of opening by
Thanksgiving. Last year. The wait appears to be worth it as the tacky exterior paneling comes down and dazzling new panes of glass go up at the original Tavern Company space in Cleveland Heights. Another longsimmering project, transforming the old Literary Cafe in Tremont into the Literary Tavern, is still progressing, albeit at a glacial pace. Also good news: The smoldering Birdtown Brewery is finally coming together in the old St. Gregory Catholic Church in Lakewood’s Birdtown neighborhood. All systems are go for the Lakewood Truck Park to open next summer and, when it does, visitors can expect a bar, indoor and outdoor seating, and plenty of rotating food trucks. Progress appears to have slowed (if it ever really began) at Hot Sauce Williams on Carnegie, which will be reopened as a flagship Angie’s Soul Cafe location. As for that iconic Tremont property that long housed Lola and Lolita restaurants? We’ll keep you posted.
dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner
| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
MONDAY 12.31 VIRTUAL NYE (9PM) IN THE GROG AND THE B-SIDE! w/CHURCH OF DRUM & BASS +CUMULUS ENTERTAINMENT +STEELYARD SOUNDSYSTEM +RAPTURE STUDIOS. TUESDAY 1.1 LYRICAL RHYTHMS NEW YEARS + Live Band Open Mic Poetry Hip Hop Soul Experience
TOO MANY ZOOZ & TURKUAZ MAKE FOR A POTENT DOUBLE BILL By JEFF NIESEL HE NEW YORK-BASED TRIO Too Many Zooz came through town earlier this year, but the band has been plenty busy since then. The group, which describes its genre as “brass house” on account of the way it draws from hip-hop, funk and jazz, went to Philadelphia where it filmed a conceptual, improvisational song and video for “Car Alarm.” The tune uses the alarm of a burgled car on a rooftop carpark as a metronome. It also teamed up with U.K. star Jess Glynne to record a new version of “Warriors.” Now, Too Many Zooz has teamed up with the Brooklyn-based Turkuaz, which draws from funk, alternative, rock, R&B and psychedelia on its latest album, Life in the City. The two acts will hit the road next week for a short tour that includes a show this Friday, Dec. 28, at House of Blues. In separate interviews, Too Many Zooz trumpet player Matt “Doe” Muirhead, and Turkuaz singer-guitarist Dave Brandwein and guitarist Craig Brodhead spoke about what to expect from the pairing.
How do the two bands know each other? Muirhead: I haven’t met them, but I know I have a bunch of mutual friends with them who play with them in various formats. I’m not sure how this run came to be, but we’re familiar with their music. It’s always fun for us to do things that are a little less horn-driven, and they’re doing a lot of rock and jammy stuff. Brandwein: They’re also based out of New York here. We’ve heard about them for a long time and a couple of people in our band have seen them play before. We’re teaming up with them for this New Year’s Eve run, and we want to create a party atmosphere. It’s something we could accomplish with them. We wanted to team up with a band that would provide for a celebratory New Year’s Eve. It just worked out. We’re excited to do it. Brodhead: I know them more from the internet. It’ll be our first time playing with them at the show in Cleveland. We’ve managed to somehow not play on the same festivals and just haven’t run into each other, but we know a lot of the same people.
It’s a three-piece versus a nine-piece. Do you feel that’s fair? Muirhead: Exactly. Brandwein: Ha! They still generate plenty of sound. The band doesn’t really fit into one genre. Talk about your various influences. Muirhead: There’s three things that all three of us really like, and that’s hiphop, chicken and basketball. As you can hear in the music, we have completely different upbringings musically. I grew up playing piano and singing in church and then got into jazz and got into hip-hop. [Saxophonist] Leo [Pelegrino] grew up playing with his dad, who’s an accordion player. When Leo was a kid, his dad would put on plays in Pittsburgh where he would play clarinet and was involved in bar mitzvahs and polkas and then got into jazz and hip-hop. We met at the Manhattan school where we were going for a performance degree and wandered off from that world. [Drummer Dave] “King of Sludge” [Parks] has studied African drumming from Senegal
and South Africa. He was hugely involved in the punk and grunge scene in Portland and Seattle. Our music isn’t necessarily what we would all listen to. It’s more like when we met and started playing, that’s what came out. Brandwein: The thing with having so many different people in the band is that we draw from such a wide swath of influences. We just released nine different mix tapes, one for each band member. There’s a huge variety of influences. We grew up listening to classic British rock music and then funk and R&B stuff later on. Brodhead: I think the funny thing that we have in common is that we didn’t set out to be in a funk band. We all felt that, by the time we were doing it, that we were suited to doing it. Where we meet in the middle is what bands always try to do. That’s funk music for a lot of us. Talk about your latest album. What was your approach heading to the studio on the album? Muirhead: We just felt like we wanted to put new music out. We didn’t need a
| clevescene.com m | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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MUSIC
Photo by Dani Brandwein
Turkuaz
full release in a promotional sense. We didn’t know what we would do until we went into the studio. We found public domain stuff that we didn’t have to pay for and wanted to make it our own. It was a fun process. It was a different process for us because we almost never cover things. With [the new single] “Car Alarm,” that was a big challenge. That was all Leo’s idea. When he presented it to us, I wasn’t sure how the execution would come out. In the video, we have a direct operator. It’s all shot in one take. It’s kind of that Wes Anderson style. If anyone makes a mistake, you have to go back to the top and redo it. That makes it way more difficult, and the pressure is on. But it was fun. Brandwein: We were throwing out a lot of ideas to start out with since the
our first show ever, I would cringe because it’s low production value. It’s been from making little changes every single day. When we’re in the van, we’ll review footage like we’re a football team. We’ll watch last night’s show, and if it gets to a point where it gets weird, we’ll stop the film and talk about how to correct that. We want to create a moment. Originally, our show wasn’t a show. We only had 20 minutes of material. We played that 20 minutes and just made up the rest. At this point, our show is way more refined. There’s still areas for improvisation, but we know what’s happening at every second. There’s more attention to detail now. In the new year, we’ll do a bunch of different stuff. It’s constantly getting bigger and better. It’s one of those things where you want to go back to
TURKUAZ | TOO MANY ZOOZ 9 P.M. FRIDAY, DEC. 28, HOUSE OF BLUES, 308 EUCLID AVE., 216-523-2583. TICKETS: $24-$35, houseofblues.com
last record was so stylized. When we went in on this one, we threw a bunch of demos out there. We have a bunch of material that we still haven’t released. The last one was really long and this one was shorter. The approach going in was that we wanted to experiment with different song ideas. Brodhead: I think the record before was a real undertaking. This one was too. That’s always the reference point you have. You try to learn and grow from that. The one before had 25 tracks or something. We wanted something more direct and concise. That was what we were after. We didn’t know how to achieve that. In the end, you just have to keep working on it, and that’s what you get.
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
Talk about how the live show has evolved. Muirhead: It’s crazy because it’s one of those things that I’m sure if I watched
cities and give a better show the next year. Brandwein: We have added a lot of instruments largely because of the way the records have progressed. Our live shows and our recordings are two very different things. With the previous record, and continuing with this one, we started going for more ambitious arrangements in the studio. The thing with the live thing is that as much as we want to live up to certain recordings, we are also trying to do something unique. We want to expand things and open things up in different sections and go with what feels good. The albums have made us want to do more arrangement-wise. We don’t want to stick too much to what the album is. It’s still a high-energy show. That’s been consistent.
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MASONIC CLEVELAND: 3615 Euclid Ave, Cleveland OH 44115 HOUSE OF BLUES: 308 Euclid Ave, Cleveland OH 44114 masoniccleveland.com / houseofblues.com | clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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MUSIC
A JAZZ NIGHT
HIGHLIGHT
Photo by Jimmy Katz ECM Records
Saxophonist Joe Lovano talks about his Cleveland roots By JEFF NIESEL
ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF ago, the folks at National Public Radio approached saxophonist Joe Lovano about participating in their Jazz Night in America recording sessions, a program that features live performances by jazz luminaries like Lovano. “I have worked with them in the past, but they wanted to do something new with me,” says Lovano in a recent phone interview. “I thought about it for a minute and told them I maybe wanted to do something with them in Cleveland and not just with my New York band. I wanted to put together a group with some of my mentors.” As a result, Jazz Night in America will be on hand when Lovano performs two sold-out shows at the Bop Stop, on Friday, Dec. 28, and Saturday, Dec. 29. Currently based out of New York, Lovano has fond memories of growing up in Cleveland. His father, a popular player on the local scene who played alongside jazz icons such as Stan Getz, showed him the ropes. “It was really fun to be a part of the musical landscape in Cleveland as a kid,” says Lovano. “My dad was one of the major players in town on saxophone. I grew up around his whole passion and record collection and hearing him practicing and rehearsing with groups. By the time
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I was a teenager, I was beginning to learn the repertoire of what I heard him play. In my mid-teens, I got to sit in and play with musicians from my dad’s generation. That was my lesson.” Lovano says Cleveland had a particularly vibrant scene even though the club scene had changed since the late ’60s when many of the older venues had closed. “In the early ’70s, there was a big scene going on,” he says. “I had the chance to play opposite a lot of people at the [now-shuttered] Smiling Dog. I played opposite Lonnie Smith in 1974 and I went on the road with
Tapestry, introduces a new group with pianist Marilyn Crispell and drummer Carmen Castaldi. It’s his first as a leader for the label. Dedicated to the Cleveland musicians who inspired him, it features 11 new compositions that Lovano says represent “some of the most intimate and personal music I’ve recorded so far.” A meditative number that finds a gentle piano melody mixing with an evocative saxophone solo, the album’s single, “Seeds of Change,” possesses a unique beauty. A methodology Lovano learned via composer Gunter Schuller informs many of the songs.
JOE LOVANO 8 P.M. FRIDAY, DEC. 28, AND SATURDAY, DEC. 29, BOPSTOP, 2920 DETROIT AVE., 216-771-6551. SOLD OUT. MUSICSETTLEMENT.ORG.
Brother Jack McDuff after playing with him at the Dog. I first sat in with Elvin Jones in 1975 and had a relationship with him through the years. I played with him and he recorded with me on one of my major releases on Blue Note. That was all a springboard to things I would do in the future. The Cleveland scene for me was really rich and beautiful.” Lovano’s forthcoming album, Trio
| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
“We want to play in a beautiful, peaceful environment,” says Lovano. “We wanted to create something that wasn’t aggressive and bombastic. We wanted to follow the sound of each other’s ideas. I tried to write compositions that gave way to those things.” Castaldi, who now lives in Cleveland, has played with Lovano since their teenage years in
Cleveland, and the two even moved to Boston together to attend Berklee College of Music in 1971. “At the time I moved to New York, Carmen moved to the West Coast with a group of musicians,” says Lovano. “During my travels, I was always going out to the West Coast, and we would play and see each other. Even though we didn’t play together as often as we would have if Carmen came to New York, we kept in touch and lived in a similar inspired world of jazz.” Given all the Cleveland connections involved, Lovano says he’s particularly excited about his two upcoming shows at the Bop Stop. “This journey has been amazing,” he says, adding that he’s not sure when the program will actually air on NPR. “I just try to be in the moment of now, all the time. It’s been a rich, beautiful life. NPR will record both nights, and there will be interviews and segments featuring me speaking about Cleveland and my relationships with folks. Somehow, we’ll put it all together in one show. The post-production will be challenging, that’s for sure.”
jniesel@clevescene.com scene@clevescene.com @clevelandscene t@jniesel
| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
LIVEWIRE
all the live music you should see this week Photo by Emanuel Wallace
WED
p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. Sounds of Jazz featuring Nancy Redd (in the Wine Bar): 9 p.m. Brothers Lounge. The Stolen Faces: 8:30 p.m., $10. Beachland Tavern. Tooth Lures a Fang/Bonnie Clydeman/Personsplacesthings: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class. UNPLGD with Jim Crompton (in the Wine Bar): 6 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Jackie Warren: 10:30 p.m., free. Nighttown. The Waves/Suitcase Runaway/ Shallow Heads/Modern Heretic: 8 p.m., $10. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.
12/26
10x3 Singer/Songwriter Showcase hosted by Brent Kirby (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge. The Bad Boys of Hausfrau DJ Night: 8:30 p.m., free. Happy Dog. Gonzo/Acid Cats/Fat Back Mango: 9 p.m., $8 ADV, $10 DOS. Grog Shop. Good Morning Valentine/Mike Uva/James McKeivier/Istvan Medgyesi: 8 p.m., $7 ADV, $10 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Hathaway Brown Alumnae Show: 7 p.m., $10. Nighttown. Carlos Jones & The P.L.U.S. Band Holiday Revival/Big Ship: 8 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. The Mondak Brothers Quintet: 7 p.m., $12. Bop Stop.
THU
12/27
Blanket Party/Psycho Men: 8 p.m. CODA. Bruce in the USA: 8 p.m., $25 ADV, $30 DOS. House of Blues. Celebration of Kevin Moran’s Life with Becky Boyd, Sam Hooper, Richard Smith, Moss Stanley & More (in the Supper Club): 5 p.m., free. Music Box Supper Club. December Fades: 7 p.m., $12. Bop Stop. Cliff Habian Trio: 8 p.m., $15. Nighttown. Chris Hatton’s Musical Circus (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m., free. Brothers Lounge. Jam Night with the Bad Boys of Blues: 9 p.m., free. Brothers Lounge. The Katz Pajamas/Oregon Space Trail of Doom: 8:30 p.m., $12 ADV, $14 DOS. Grog Shop. Moko Bovo/Crazy Marvin & the Blues Express: 8 p.m., $8 ADV, $10 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. Vice Souletric/DJ Nu Era/G. Huff/V Stylez/Gun$hel/Rox Ran: Local emcee/producer Vice Souletric has worked with a slew of respected rappers, including Talib Kweli, Guilty Simpson, and Skyzoo. Along with DJ Nu Era, a DMC Competition finalist, Souletric will present tonight’s special ’90s-themed hip-hop show.––––– Tickets are $8 in advance, $10 at the door. (Jeff Niesel) 8 p.m. Now That’s Class. The Way Down Wanderers/The Wooks: 8 p.m., $15 ADV, $17 DOS. Beachland Tavern.
SUN Local rapper Vice Souletric performs at Now That’s Class. See: Thursday.
FRI
12/28
Joey Amato (in the Wine Bar): 9 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Attraxxion: 9:30 p.m., $5. Brothers Lounge. Blue Lunch (in the Supper Club): 8 p.m., $8. Music Box Supper Club. Eagles Tribute by Out of Eden: 8 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. Judy Haines (in the Wine Bar): 6 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Joe Lovano: Jazz Night in America: 8 p.m., $30. Bop Stop. Ouster/Soft Copy/Nah Nah: 9 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Turkuaz/Too Many Zooz: 9 p.m., $24 ADV, $26 DOS. House of Blues. Jackie Warren: 10:30 p.m., free. Nighttown. Wave Magnetik/Flocco Torres: 8 p.m., $8. CODA. Winger/Firehouse: 8 p.m., $35-$45. Akron Civic Theatre. World’s Scariest Police Chases/ Rebuilders/Old Souls/Joy Ceiling: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class.
SAT
12/29
Boomers in the Night with Alex Bevan/Charlie Wiener/David Rosen: 8 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. Citycop/Golden God/Wallcreeper/ Bare Walls (in the Locker Room): 7 p.m., $8. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Thornetta Davis (in the Supper Club): 8 p.m., $18 ADV, $22 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. Anne E. DeChant: 8 p.m., $20. Akron
Civic Theatre. Erase the Grey/Impending Lies: 6:30 p.m. Odeon. The Jack Fords: 9:30 p.m., $5. Brothers Lounge. Joe Lovano: Jazz Night in America: 8 p.m., $30. Bop Stop. Mushroomhead: Given the decidedly dark nature of its music, it’s no surprise that the local metal band Mushroomhead would play a special Christmas show in honor of Krampus, the mythical creature who punishes bad children during the Christmas season. It’s been a banner year for the band, which embarked on the Summer of Screams tour with Powerman 5000, the Browning, Psychostick, Kissing Candice, Unsaid Fate, Voodoo Terror Tribe and Earth Caller. It also released a new DVD, Volume III. The disc features more than 90 minutes of new material, including new music videos, footage of backstage antics and exclusive never-seen-before content. (Niesel) 7 p.m. Agora Theatre. Red Light Roxy: 8:30 p.m., $15. Nighttown. Red Wanting Blue/Will Hoge/The Building: The Goodyear Theater in Akron will host the Columbusbased indie rock act Red Wanting Blue for its 2018 Holiday Bash. Singer-songwriter Will Hoge and indie rockers the Building, a band featuring Youngstown native and War on Drugs’ guitarist Anthony LaMarca, will open the show. Given all the local connections, this should be a good time. (Niesel) 8 p.m., $35-$400. Goodyear Theater. Santana Tribute by Evil Ways: 8
12/30
2018 Annual Rockabilly Holiday Show with The Modernes, Johnny Elvis and the Crown Electric, Crash Coffin and the Wise Guys: 8 p.m., $7 ADV, $10 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Jazzworks: 7 p.m., $15. Nighttown. The New Year’s Eve Pregame Featuring Chip Tha Ripper and Quentin Miller: 9 p.m., $15 ADV, $20 DOS. Grog Shop. Mike Petrone (Piano Sing-Along): 5:30 p.m., free. Brothers Lounge. Tommy Rich and His Enemies: 8 p.m., $5. Brothers Lounge. Vanessa Rubin: 8:30 p.m., $30. Nighttown. Trans-Siberian Orchestra: 3 p.m., $49.50-$89.50. Quicken Loans Arena. Tunnel Songs/Taylor Scott/ Somedaysoon/The Prom Queens (in the Locker Room): 8 p.m., $10. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.
MON
12/31
Clutch/The Messthetics/Lionize/The Mike Dillon Band: Headlining one of the few national tours hitting Cleveland in this final week of the year, Clutch promises an evening of that fine, fine metaphysical desert rock. The band’s iconic sound is nested in its first two albums: Transnational Speedway League and the self-titled sophomore effort. Both are legendary for straddling the hardcore and stoner rock scenes. The latter, with its centerpiece, “Spacegrass,” is a legitimately trippy album. The current tour comes in the wake of the recent release of Book of Bad Decisions. (Eric Sandy) 7 p.m.,
| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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LIVEWIRE
KentStage The
=HGÍM FBLL MA>L> @K>:M LAHPL MB<D>ML HG L:E> GHP
Keller Williams Pettygrass Sat Jan 19
Bob James
Sun Feb.24
The Earls of Leicester Tue. Mar 5
Cowboy Mouth, Nathan & The Zydeco Cha Chas Fri Feb 15
Loudon Wainwright III Thur Feb 28
Graham Nash
Sat Mar 16 @ Akron Civic
Hard Day’s Night Sat. Feb 23
Stephen Bishop & Robbie Dupree Sat Mar 2
Lonesome Traveler w/Peter Yarrow Fri Mar. 22
$39.50. Masonic Auditorium. Anne Cochran/Abe LaMarca & Band: 8 p.m., $40. Nighttown. CODA New Year’s Eve Featuring WSWDS & NuEra: 9 p.m. CODA. Sammy DeLeon Latin Jazz Septet: 8:30 p.m., $30. Nighttown. E5C4P3 - The Journey Tribute with Special Guest DJ Denicio: 9:30 p.m., $29-$79. Hard Rock Rocksino. The Freak Drop 2019 Featuring Tropidelic/Zach Deputy/The Quasi Kings/Dutty: Last year, local rockers Tropidelic successfully launched their two-day Freakstomp Music Festival in Medina. The inaugural festival featured acts such as Vibe & Direct, Bumpin’ Uglies, Sun-Dried Vibes and others, and this year’s lineup included Afroman, Broccoli Samurai, and more. Tonight at the Beachland, Tropidelic keeps the Freak Drop vibe alive with a special New Year’s Eve show, Freak Drop 2018. There will be live performances by Tropidelic and Zac Deputy. A VIP package offers access to a pre-party, a photo op with the bands, hors d’oeuvres and two drink tickets. (Niesel) 9 p.m., $45-$75. Beachland Ballroom. Marcus Keene with Carl Fernstrum (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Master T.C. & the Visitors: 9:30 p.m., $10. Brothers Lounge. Chase Rice/AJ & the Woods: 9 p.m., $55 ADV, $60 DOS. House of Blues. Steely Dan Tribute by The FM Project (in the Supper Club): 9 p.m. Music Box Supper Club. The Sunrise Jones: This local group’s members come from various bands, including the local, longrunning Copperfoot. The band specializes in Beatles tunes, but you can expect to hear a wide mix of music at tonight’s special New Year’s Eve gig. (Niesel) 9 p.m., $25$30. Music Box Supper Club. Virtual NYE: Church Of Drum & Bass, Cumulus Entertainment, Steelyard Soundsystem, Rapture Studios: 9 p.m., $15 ADV, $18 DOS. Grog Shop.
TUE Pat Metheny SIde Eye Sat. Mar 23
David Wilcox & Mary Nielson Chapman Fri. Mar 29
Carbon Leaf
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Evelyn Wright/David Thomas Trio: 12 p.m., $20. Nighttown.
Sat April 20
ALL SHOWS AT THE KENT STAGE UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED Tickets available at thekentstage.com or 877-987-6487 GMK [w cw i {{ © a{ B e~ JJHJF | clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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BAND OF THE WEEK OUSTER By Jeff Niesel MEET THE BAND: Desarae Petersen (vocals, guitar), Matt Meinke (vocals, bass), Richard Spitalsky (drums) A RANDOM THING: Petersen grew up in Wasilla, Arkansas, and moved to the Cleveland area for college in 2008. Meinke grew up in Northeast Ohio. They met in 2012 while working at the Get Go in Avon. “It was the most random thing,” says Petersen when asked about how she met Meinke. “I hadn’t played music in five years, and I missed it a lot. He was the first person to get me to play music in front of anyone.” They formed the band in 2013 (with the placeholder name Darling Daylight) as a mashup of sorts of the two local indie
it in hard times. Politics, mental health and drug abuse are main themes in a lot of the songs on the album and things we are very passionate about.” THE REEL THING: Petersen says working with producer Doug Bittner at Upper Room was “amazing.” “He is really good at directing us and telling us where we shouldn’t be so lo-fi.” Once recording for the album commenced, a number of the songs were written in the studio. WHY YOU SHOULD HEAR THEM: Songs
such as the boisterous “You Don’t Want Out” sound like the Strokes if they were fronted by a female Photo courtesy of Ouster
rock bands Daylight Is the Dream and Darling. Ouster has gone through a couple lineup changes to find a reliable drummer, and last year, Richard Spitalsky of the local indie rock band Extra Medium Pony joined the band.
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
CLASSIC AND FAMILIAR: During the past two years, Petersen and Meinke recorded their first LP, Muted Window/Hollow Dive, at Upper Room Recordings in Elyria. One of the tracks, “You Don’t Want Out,” was the first song that they co-wrote and the first song they recorded straight to 7-inch tape. “Ouster’s goal is to make music that is relatable, classic and familiar,” says Petersen. “[We want] to give listeners a safe place to be in their heads. Everybody has been through something and we are very happy to be able to put music out there to help those who need
singer, and “Millionaires Row” benefits from the contrast between distorted guitars and plaintive vocals. “We wanted the record to have a ’60s vibe. We made it dirty on purpose and used a four-track TEAC tape machine. That was a fun thing to use as a tool. We really like the warmth of it. Live, we sound a little heavier than we do on the record.” WHERE YOU CAN HEAR THEM: Facebook.
com/oustermusiccle WHERE YOU CAN SEE THEM: Ouster
performs with Soft Copy and Nah Nah at 9 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 28, at the Happy Dog as part of a benefit for the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center.
jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
SAVAGE LOVE TWO BREAKUPS, ONE BRAKE ON by Dan Savage I’m a thirtysomething straight woman married for 16 years. Eighteen months ago, I met a man and there was an immediate attraction. For the first 15 months of our relationship, I was his primary sexual and intimate partner, as both sex and intimacy were lacking in his marriage. (My husband knew of the relationship from the start and is accepting for the most part.) After my lover’s wife found out, she suddenly became very responsive to my lover’s sexual and emotional needs. My lover has told his wife that he will not let me go. He has also told me that he is not willing to let his wife go. She isn’t happy about being in a triad, but she allows him to continue seeing me with limitations. I am no longer his primary sex partner, and I have been relegated to the back seat. He claims to love us both, yet his wife and I both struggle knowing the other exists. Recently while out shopping, my lover asked me to help him pick out a Christmas gift for his wife. I got upset because I am in love with him, and I have made him my priority (over my husband), but I am not his priority. I love this man, and we feel we are soul mates. My lover has said that if we fall apart, he will have to find a new secondary partner because his wife can never give him the soulful fulfillment he needs. Should I continue in this relationship? — Soul Mate Avoids Choice Knowingly You complain about being relegated to the back seat, SMACK, but it’s your husband whose existence only comes up in parenthetical asides. You also describe this relationship as a triad when there are four people involved (you, your lover, your lover’s wife, and your husband), which technically makes this a quad. And from the sound of things, only one member of this messy quad seems happy — your lover, the guy who refuses to make you a “priority” over his wife. And while you’ve convinced yourself that your lover feels as strongly for you as you do for him — “we feel we are soul mates” — it kindasorta sounds to me like you may be projecting. Because in addition to asking you to pick out Christmas gifts for his wife, your lover and alleged
soul mate regards you as expendable and replaceable. And he’s told you as much: He intends to “find a new secondary partner” if you two part because his wife doesn’t “give him the soulful fulfillment he needs.” That’s not how people talk about their soul mates, and it’s certainly not something a guy says to someone he regards as his soul mate. Here’s what you ought to do: You aren’t interested in being your lover’s secondary partner (nor are you much interested in being your husband’s wife), so you’ll have to call your lover’s bluff. And the only card you have to play — and it’s a weak hand — is to dump your lover unless he leaves his wife for you. Success rests on the outside chance your lover was bluffing when he said he’d replace you, but I suppose it’s possible he regards you as the irreplaceable one and only said those hurtful things to make you think he wouldn’t choose you when you are the one he would’ve chosen all along. If it turns out that this was the case, SMACK, you’ll wind up with your soul mate … who happens to be kindasorta cruel and manipulative. But the likelier outcome is that you’ll be left alone (with, um, your husband).
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My boyfriend and I met at a bondage party a year ago. He’s not into bondage (he tagged along with a kinky friend). We hit it off and started seeing each other. He told me it was okay for me to keep going to bondage parties and seeing some guys I play with one-on-one. Then right after we moved in together, he said he doesn’t want me playing with anyone else because we are in love. Which means I can’t get tied up at all anymore because he has zero interest in bondage. I’m not sure what to do. — Boy In New Drama So now that you’re in love and you’re trapped, BIND, now — NOW — your vanilla boyfriend yanks back the accommodation that convinced you to date him in the first place? There’s only one thing you can do: DTMFA.
mail@savagelove.net t@fakedansavage
| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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| clevescene.com | December 26, 2018 - January 1, 2019
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