Scene December 11, 2019

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Dedicated to Free Times founder Richard H. Siegel (1935-1993) and Scene founder Richard Kabat Publisher Andrew Zelman Editor Vince Grzegorek

CONTENTS Upfront

Editorial Music Editor Jeff Niesel Senior Writer Sam Allard Staff Writer Brett Zelman Web Editor Laura Morrison Dining Editor Douglas Trattner Visual Arts Writer Dott von Schneider Copy Editor Elaine Cicora Interns Alice Koeninger

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Blockland promises, Blockland failures

Feature

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On Ohio’s outrageous abortion bills

Advertising Senior Multimedia Account Executive John Crobar, Shayne Rose Multimedia Account Executive Kiara Davis

'ET /UT

Creative Services Art Director/Production Manager Steve Miluch Staff Photographer Emanuel Wallace

All the best things to do in Cleveland this week

Business Sales Assistant/Receptionist Megan Stimac Controller Kristy Dotson Circulation Circulation Director Don Kriss Euclid Media Group Chief Executive OfďŹ cer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating OfďŹ cers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP Digital Services Stacy Volhein Creative Director Tom Carlson Digital Operations Coordinator Jaime Monzon

Stage

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Two plays to see this week, both highly enjoyable

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Film

Cleveland Scene 737 Bolivar Rd., #4100 Cleveland, OH 44115 www.clevescene.com Phone 216-241-7550 Retail & ClassiďŹ ed Fax 216-241-6275 Editorial Fax 216-802-7212 E-mail scene@clevescene.com

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Clint Eastwood’s latest takes the mass media to task

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| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

UPFRONT DOWNTOWN RESIDENTS KNEW CLEVELAND WOULD APPROVE DAN GILBERT’S PEDESTRIAN BRIDGE. THEY JUST WANTED THEIR CONCERNS HEARD.

Photo by Peter Pattakkos

MAYOR FRANK JACKSON PUT the final stamp of approval on JACK Casino’s proposed pedestrian bridge last week, the second time the company will directly connect parking lots to buildings it owns to minimize the inconvenience of folks having to face other people, some of whom may not be white, while walking from their car to a slot machine or JACK-owned office building.

This, by nearly all accounts, is a poor decision that neglects and ignores good planning in favor of just doing something for Dan Gilbert because he’s Dan Gilbert. While arguing in planning commission meetings this fall in favor of the pedestrian bridge, chief city planner Fred Collier acknowledged that JACK’s contentions — that it would increase street-level vibrancy, somehow; that it wouldn’t impair the architectural character of the street or downtown view — were almost assuredly false.

“The benefits outweigh the aesthetic concerns,” he said.

“Is it enough to stimulate the ground floor? Maybe.” (JACK has subsequently stimulated the ground floor of the street by ushering in the closing of the Ontario Street Cafe, a legendary and successful bar that catered to, in addition to sports fans and downtown workers, an AfricanAmerican clientele.)

The benefits here are that Gilbert and Bedrock own just about everything around there, 70,000 square feet of which is vacant office space they can’t fill. (As for why, it could be the market rate they’re asking for and not the lack of a pedestrian tunnel that allows workers to waltz between their SUVs and their desks in a climatecontrolled tube that bypasses folks waiting for the bus on Ontario.) In Collier’s view, getting 500 people, and their income tax, into that space is important enough to capitulate to Gilbert. The planning commission agreed, and city council after that, and finally Frank.

In doing so, the city has decided those 500 people are more important than the 19,000 people who live downtown.

The Downtown Cleveland Residents Association was opposed to the pedestrian bridge for many of the same reasons experts are, but in this specific case they knew the bridge would probably be approved.

They just wanted their voices heard. They just wanted the same solicitation of community input that goes along with other major projects in residential neighborhoods. They wanted the city, which has touted the growth in downtown residents as one of the city’s strongest points, to listen to those residents.

But it didn’t happen.

“These pedestrian bridges detract from the things we now know about good urban planning,” Downtown Cleveland Residents president Alan O’Connell told Scene.

“That a lively street life is essential for downtown, for visiting, for living, and for working. These are

counterproductive to promoting livability. The DCR, myself … we’re not anti-business. We want more workers here, but not at the expense of livability and enjoyability for everyone else. There was this narrative they had about the bridge increasing street-level density and traffic and that’s just disingenuous.

They know it’s not true. And what makes a place safe? More people, more eyes. If you’re taking people off the street who would have otherwise been moving from Point A to Point B, you’re making it less safe. And it doesn’t look good. It’s ugly. It ruins this beautiful view when you look down Ontario (assuming you’re on the other side of the first pedestrian bridge), where we have statues and the courthouse. It’s planned and designed that way. It’s historical.”

Those are just some of the reasons he and many of the residents opposed the bridge. Another key one: “It’s sort of racist,” he said. “It’s a social equity thing. We’re essentially permitting this symbol of separation

— of literally separating the classes with people who have cars and money walking overtop the people waiting for the bus below.”

“But, for them, it’s a purely economic decision,” he said. “And we have to make those decisions sometimes.”

But, in his view, in one of the fastest-growing residential neighborhoods in the city, the city should make those decisions only after having all of the possible input.

So after it first appeared before the design review committee and planning commission, O’Connell met with city officials and JACK Casino reps and sent letters asking not that they vote against the pedestrian bridge, but that the issue simply be tabled until downtown residents could be heard. Table it for two weeks, he asked.

“Even if it got tabled and they didn’t change anything, as long as they listened to our concerns, that would have mattered.”

Two or three years ago, the | clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

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UPFRONT DCR was something more akin to a monthly social club than something that resembled the well-organized, tactical and vocal groups of other neighborhoods.

That’s changed, much like downtown itself, which saw a 25-percent increase in residents over the last decade whereas the city as a whole lost population. For DCR now, the question of who downtown Cleveland is being built for is an important one, and a question they’re eager and ready to help answer.

But while the vote on the pedestrian bridge’s second appearance before the design review committee was narrower than expected — O’Connell and other residents showed up to again ask for some time — the issue was not tabled, and was subsequently greenlit across the rest of the process. And once again DCR felt like they got the short end of the stick from the city.

“Holding off for two weeks until they could have a conversation with us might have meant JACK would have incurred some additional costs,

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but we’re talking about a multibillion dollar development company, and those costs are minuscule compared to the benefits we could have reaped when you talk about community engagement,” he said.

“The unfortunate thing is the city and the planning commission had the opportunity to do the right thing. They talk the talk about downtown not being just for tourism and business but a real neighborhood with real residents, but when it came time to walk the walk and prove it, they failed.” — Vince Grzegorek

Investments Announced at First Blockland Conference Never Materialized At last year’s inaugural Blockland Solutions Conference in Cleveland, local leaders in the economic development and startup space announced significant forthcoming investments for area blockchain companies. But a year after the announcements, those funds have yet to materialize.

FlashStarts, the local startup accelerator and micro venture capital firm which announced last week that it would pivot into corporate

| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

consulting, announced at the 2018 conference that it would create a $6 million pot for blockchain seed funding.

When reached for comment last week, however, Flashstarts’ CEO Charles Stack said that while this pot remains “open to investors,” they had “not been successful in reaching [their] $6 million goal.” Nor has the pot invested in a single company.

It turns out that creating a fund for blockchain startups is challenging for many of the same reasons that maintaining an early-stage startup accelerator is challenging. According to Stack, “Local investors are generally more risk-averse than elsewhere. There is no coordinated local program to attract and retain startups. Our institutions are generally too focused on building entrepreneurship centers and not on entrepreneurs. Our local corporations have been disinterested in working with local startups.”

That analysis is consistent with a Crain’s report this week, which announced the formation of a new nonprofit called OhioX that wants to build unity among the state’s hightech entrepreneurs.

“Initiatives like the one surrounding Blockland, which dreams of a Cleveland tech mecca,

sometimes feel mismatched with reality when considering the region’s struggles to grow and retain new tech companies,” reporter Jeremy Nobile wrote. “That can be chalked up to any number of nuanced reasons — a shortage of general support and motivated investors among them.”

A lack of motivated investors certainly didn’t prevent the announcement of major investments last year. In addition to FlashStarts, the local accelerator JumpStart also announced that it was devoting serious resources to blockchain. On the opening night of Blockland’s 2018 conference, JumpStart said it would be partnering with Ohio Third Frontier on a $100 million fund for blockchain companies in the state.

When reached for comment last week, JumpStart CEO Ray Leach told Scene that when they made the announcement last year, they were anticipating that Ohio Third Frontier would announce an RFP to support blockchain seed funding in early 2019. But that never happened.

“We are now anticipating that [Ohio Third Frontier] will release an RFP in the first quarter of 2020,” Leach wrote in an email. “If this timeline happens, we anticipate $200 million in new seed and Series

A capital will form across Ohio in the first half of 2020 with ~$100M+ hopefully being headquartered or invested out of Greater Cleveland by JumpStart and a handful of other seed and Series A funds who are awarded monies from the state.”

But this was all news to Ohio Third Frontier. When Scene reached a public information officer there, we were told that no blockchain fund was currently in the pipeline.

“There is nothing upcoming that I’m even remotely aware of,” said Elizabeth Colbert, with the Ohio Development Services Agency.

“I’ve been working with Ohio Third Frontier for about six years now, so I’m pretty in the loop on what goes on. And there’s no RFP regarding blockchain in the works in any way, shape or form.”

Without the joint fund, JumpStart did still invest in one blockchain startup over the past year, Axuall, a company working in the field of digital credentialing.

The Blockland initiative has itself undergone substantial changes since late 2018. From a multinodal organizational structure in which an enormous collection of civic and business leaders briefly concerned themselves with things like blockchain thought leadership, government relations and young professional attraction, the initiative

DIGIT WIDGET $940 Median rent for a one-bedroom in Cleveland, according to a study by a national rental platform.

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now focuses exclusively on its two flagship projects: the annual Solutions Conference (happening right now at the Huntington Convention Center) and the City Block real estate project at Tower City.

The Blockland project manager hired in the fall of 2018 is no longer with JumpStart; a joint “digital futures” think tank at Cleveland State and Case Western still has the same level of funding and physical plans that it did when it was first announced (zero); and no one seems willing to hazard a guess about the current number of blockchain coders working in the region. The goal announced at last year’s conference was to have 1,000 by the end of 2019.

Representatives at Tri-C, where a blockchain course was launched last year, did not respond by our print deadline to questions about the number of students who have taken the course and their success in finding work upon graduation.

— Sam Allard

Newburgh Heights to Institute 32-Hour Work Week for All City Employees At Newburgh Heights’ village council meeting last week, Mayor Trevor Elkins introduced his latest piece of progressive legislation: a bill to reduce the standard work week from 40 hours to 32 hours for all fulltime city employees.

The bill was unanimously passed and is now official policy in the small, blue-collar suburb to Cleveland’s south. Elkins told Scene that the new work hours will apply to 28 total employees, including police personnel, and that while hours will be reduced, salaries will remain the same.

“We are always looking for ways to improve the lives of our residents,” Elkins said in a statement provided to the media. “By implementing employee-friendly policies that help us recruit and retain talent in innovative ways, we are meeting that goal in a fiscally responsible manner.”

While the policy was designed both to improve the work-life balance of city employees and to recruit new talent to Newburgh Heights, Elkins said that a 40-hour work week has become so culturally ingrained that in some cases, city employees “are not really sure how to take it.”

One suspects they’ll warm up to it quickly. — Allard

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scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene | clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

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| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

FEATURE BRINGING DOWN THE HOWSE State Rep. Stephanie Howse unleashes on an outrageous abortion bill and the destructive legislating of Ohio Republicans Sam Allard Photo courtesy of the Ohio House of Representatives

OHIO’S HOUSE BILL 413 IS ONE of the most outlandish pieces of abortion legislation pursued to date in the United States. Like Republican lawmakers elsewhere, those in Ohio are salivating at the notion of overturning Roe v. Wade, the landmark 1973 high court decision legalizing abortion.

Medical professionals, scholars and constitutional experts are baffled at the lengths to which Ohio’s legislators have gone in pursuit of their fringe partisan agenda.

HB413, for example, includes a provision that would force doctors to re-implant ectopic pregnancies — a situation that results when fertilized eggs attach to something other than a woman’s uterus. This procedure is medically impossible, yet doctors who refuse to perform it, under the law, would be guilty of “abortion murder.” “[HB413] is absolutely the most extreme abortion ban you could imagine, it is undoubtedly unconstitutional and frankly in a lot of ways I think it makes Ohio look extreme and foolish,” CWRU law professor Jessie Hill told NewsChannel5 last week. “You can’t find a single medical expert to support the idea that there is this treatment, a viable treatment that is described in the bill.”

Hill and others noted the irony of a bill that purports to be “pro-life” recommending the death penalty in aggravated cases of so-called abortion murder.

Well, all this is par for the course for Ohio’s retrograde statehouse, where many veteran Republicans have long pursued legislation of this sort for no other reason than mobilizing the most vocal elements in their gerrymandered districts.

State Rep. Stephanie Howse has watched this travesty play out. She represents much of Cleveland’s east side, Newburgh Heights and Garfield Heights, and has found herself in a position of having to defend reproductive freedom because of the legislative predations of her colleagues. She traveled to El Salvador last month with other progressive legislators from across

in passing legislation that will lead to reproductive justice for all Americans. That’s the group that invited me.

What’s funny is, I have never run on reproductive health issues. That’s not why I went to the legislature in Ohio. I represent the poorest district in the state, and I’m intentionally there to try to break the cycle of generational poverty.

But as things have unfolded, many of the policies that are put forth in the chamber are a big distraction from people’s economic reality, and I feel that I have to speak up against it. It’s my job to bring back some reality, to ask, “How are these policies playing out in the lives of people’s every day?”

People now think I’m like the reproductive freedom legislator, but I’m really not. That’s not what people sent me to the statehouse for. But you’ve got to do what’s right.

SA: I presume the reproductive freedom situation in El Salvador isn’t great.

SH: Listen, the whole concept of life beginning at conception is in their constitution. That notion isn’t based in science. It’s based on people’s belief. Just think about the idea of miscarriage. That’s not really a concept in El Salvador. We met a woman on the trip who was serving 30 years in prison for a miscarriage, something that we’d refer to as an obstetric emergency.

State Rep. Stephanie Howse (D-District 11).

the country to learn about how strict abortion laws have affected the society there.

Shortly after she returned from her trip, she sat down with Scene to discuss what she saw in El Salvador, but the conversation turned to the Ohio statehouse more generally, and the strategies used by her colleagues to ensure that the voice of the people is not heard in Ohio government.

The conversation below has been edited for length and clarity.

Sam Allard: How’d you end up in El Salvador?

Stephanie Howse: I’m part of a progressive policy hub called SiX (the State Innovation Exchange), which started something called the Reproductive Freedom Leadership Council earlier this year. That network is trying to be proactive

SA: Or a tragedy.

SH: It’s hard to fathom. Their constitution changed in ’89, and in any government system, what happens to you depends on who’s leading the charge at the moment and what they choose to enforce. The people in power now have chosen to charge miscarriages as aggravated homicides.

SA: I can’t even …

SH: It’s crazy, I know. Now, I wasn’t there to pass judgement. I was there to understand the context.

When you put laws like this in place, what’s the aftermath? And that’s the point. El Salvador could easily be | clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

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FEATURE Ohio. Easily. When you look at who these laws affect, it’s usually poor women. Poor families. If you don’t have good representation, or people around you who are educated, you get caught up and are lost.

citizens, so people can really understand the connection, and how women are being criminalized here in America.

This is about economics and it’s about bodily autonomy. People don’t understand the history, but we are not very far removed from places and times when women were seen as

being used now?

SH: Religion, for one. I always say, religion for who and for what?

Many times it is so freaking laughable. Lawmakers are talking about “pro-life,” but then give zero care about what sort of lives people are living. If they did, we’d have affordable housing. We’d have great Photo courtesy of State Innovation Exchange

SA: Have you talked to your colleagues at the statehouse about the trip?

SH: Wooh child. No, I have not at this moment, but I am preparing to engage. It’s difficult, though. You’ve got people who are promoting a mentality …

SA: A radical anti-abortion mentality?

SH: All I’ll say is that when people tell you who they are, you have to believe them. I have engaged my colleagues before, and they say, “This is just the way I was raised.” And they’re 60-plus years old. There’s nothing I can say in a 15-minute conversation to change their mind. It may not be worth my time to even have that conversation.

I think where I can be most helpful is raising awareness for everyday

Rep. Howse during an El Salvador trip studying issues of reproductive freedom.

property. People have used devious methods to keep women down under the guise of the law. We have to remain vigilant if we don’t want to get played.

SA: What methods do you see

education systems. We’d have family sustaining wages. We’d have access to healthcare.

SA: It’s like that meme.

Republicans care about protecting life until the moment you’re born.

SH: Just none! And it’s like, people, we have to stop allowing these legislators to use our emotions without looking at reality.

SA: You called legislation like this a distraction. That’s strategic, right?

SH: Absolutely. It’s very strategic.

You have to understand, our path to the statehouse is through the primaries. So the aim is to rile up my base, the small percentage of people in my own party who are going to vote in the primary. And how do I do that? It’s usually those three divisive issues: abortion, religion …

SA: And guns?

SH: And guns! These are the issues that people go to the polls for, and that the legislators want to be seen as champions of. But if you look at these three issues, they have absolutely nothing to do with people’s daily lives, with the growing divide between the haves and the have-nots. We need the zeal that we have for guns to be used to make life better for people. Where are the headlines about legislators making sure everyone has a decent place to live? Where’s the rallying cry for that? Where’s the rallying cry for the

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| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

availability of nutritious food?

If “pro-life� is so important, why aren’t we having big, bold ideas about life’s basic necessities? Instead, we get 50 million big, bold ideas about stuff that’s just meant to keep us frightened.

What’s the one now? The in utero ‌?

SA: The ectopic pregnancy thing?

SH: Right! Where you’re supposed to reinsert ‌ SA: It’s ridiculous. It’s impossible.

SH: But this is where we’ve gone.

We’re legislating things that are not even real! Just to keep this narrative aoat.

SA: So what are progressive legislators supposed to do in that environment?

SH: Continue to ďŹ ght. Continue to introduce legislation that is based on truth, on science. At the same time, you have to continue to educate and connect with Ohioans to let them know that this is not the reality.

taking care of my grandchildren, and they’re doing just ďŹ ne.â€? I’m like, that’s wonderful for your family, but that has nothing to do with men and women doing the same job and getting paid differently.

SA: Shouldn’t the same logic apply to abortion? Like, if you’re opposed to it for religious reasons, ďŹ ne, but your religious beliefs shouldn’t determine what other people ‌ SH: It’s not logical. And let me tell you something. People talk this big game until it happens to them.

I can guarantee you — these are things that I know — for the men in that legislature, their wives have had abortions; their girlfriends and their mistresses have had abortions; their children have had abortions. Don’t give me this crap!

But you can talk this talk where it’s good for everyone else, but it isn’t good for you. It’s so hypocritical.

People are living all types of lives, and if people could see our true, full lives, I don’t think anyone would take these laws seriously.

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Rep. Howse in El Salvador.

It may not be in my lifetime, or at least not in my time in the chamber, but Republicans won’t always be in control. And when the tide changes, we’ll have legislation ready to go.

But some of these lawmakers have the same mentality that I saw in El Salvador, where young women are often treated as the sacriďŹ cial lambs for families. No one cares about their future because there’s an expectation that they don’t need to be educated because their life will be connected to staying at home and caring for family.

When I championed equal pay for equal work to some of my colleagues, they told me, “Well, you know, my daughters stay at home and are

SA: They’ve got to keep up the brand, though. “Family values.�

SH: It ain’t no family values. It’s not. They don’t care about families.

They’re literally destroying families, separating them at the border. This is what I’m talking about! You cannot speak about families while you are causing irreversible harm to children and families. That’s what’s happening. Even when you talk about abortion, did you know that the majority of women who have abortions in the United States are mothers?

SA: I didn’t, no.

SH: The majority. Mothers. What does that tell you? It tells you that

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Photo courtesy of State Innovation Exchange

FEATURE this narrative of, “Oh, they’re just using abortion as birth control,” is not reality. All this type of stuff just puts the responsibility for abortions totally on women. Why haven’t we ever turned the focus on men? There has never been ownership. Why not sterilize men?

Let’s get the nip-nips going! But oh no. Because we have a system that is dictated from the viewpoint of men, and so the blame goes only on women. It’s absurd. And it’s leading to people’s deaths.

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SA: Are lawmakers in Ohio consciously creating bills to challenge Roe v. Wade? Like are they jazzed up about that?

SH: Absolutely. That was the six-week abortion ban. It’s intentional. But I’ve said, and I’ll keep saying: Laws don’t change human behavior. Laws say that murder is wrong. Stealing is wrong. Doing drugs is wrong. But people are still doing them. Our laws have been designed and set up with the intent to punish. They are not designed to restore, to bring people back into the fold. I wish people understood that we’re all flawed, and the only difference between me and some other people is that I didn’t get caught, or I had folks around me saying that I was a good girl, that I just made a mistake. We have been trained to think that laws are supposed to protect us, but that’s not right.

They are designed to protect certain people’s interests.

SA: With these abortion laws, seems like the interests being protected are political interests.

Rile up the base, keep the seat.

SH: And do you see how that is very different than enriching life in Ohio? If you were truly about protecting life, enriching life, supporting life, where’s the access to affordable childcare?

A lot of people are getting played out here. They’re getting hustled.

They’re getting pimped, if you want to talk in terms of “You go out and do my bidding, but I’m the one who’s going to get paid.” That’s what’s happening. I’m going to profit off of your pain, suffering and hard work. It’s happening in Ohio and in America. These policies are destructive.

That’s one reason I was so grateful to go to El Salvador. People need to know that we don’t just live

| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

Rep. Howse in El Salvador.

in Cleveland or Ohio or the United States. We’re part of a global society.

Many of us don’t have any concept of a different reality, good or bad.

We don’t have any notion beyond what we know in our every day.

So for those of us who have the opportunity to see different realities, it’s important to share that with people, so that we can learn from it.

SA: What’s the biggest lesson that can be learned from the reality you saw?

SH: People need to pay attention and then participate. We can’t simply be spectators sitting idly on the sidelines. We need all hands on deck to make democracy work. And I’m not saying people need to know everything. I just hope that people will pick one thing. Pick one thing to help make Ohio a better place.

And be an active participant in that one thing. And then hold people accountable for that one thing.

Right now, people are so disenchanted. They don’t want to know about anything. They think all politicians are corrupt. And at the same time, every day, they’re getting pushed around. They’re stuck, and things aren’t getting better. And they know that many times they’re not even thought of in the political conversation.

SA: How do you convince those people to participate?

SH: By saying that the conversation is still happening. Laws are still being passed. And many times, we’re taking your money to do it. To legislate against you.

But you don’t want to vote? Man, just do your little part.

SA: It can be tough when the barriers to participation are

so high.

SH: This is what I’m saying.

The system doesn’t want you to engage. That’s why I don’t put the responsibility on the backs of the majority of people who don’t. It’s confusing, and people are just barely getting by.

That’s why I’m trying to work in places and spaces to meet people where they are. Like I said, just connect people to one thing they care about. Life is too hard and too busy to expect people to know 100 different issues.

But maybe you can get with 100 people who each know one issue.

And you can all help each other.

Each one teach one. But it’s not going to get that way overnight, which is why I’m committed to just planting seeds, going along to get along when I have to, and raising hell when I need to.

SA: In Cleveland, I’ve seen exactly the sort of networking you describe in the past couple of years. There’s been some incredible grassroots organizing, and it’s led to real change.

SH: The blessing of us being in a participatory democracy is that when people come together to exert their power, it works.

Our democracy is reactive. It’s not proactive. The masses have to make those in positions of power do. If you ain’t making ’em, they ain’t doing it. And so that’s what people have to understand. And that means holding me accountable too.

sallard@clevescene.com t@scenesallard

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| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

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NOW thru DEC 22 | THE HELEN written by DUNCAN MACMILLAN with JONNY DONAHOE directed by LAURA KEPLEY

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| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

GET OUT

everything you should do this week

Photo by Friedman Bergman

Comedian Brian Regan comes to the Cleveland Masonic. See: Thursday.

WED

12/11

HOLIDAY MUSIC

The 11th Annual Ryan Humbert Holiday Extravaganza The 11th annual Ryan Humbert Holiday Extravaganza, a benefit for the Akron Canton Regional Foodbank, returns to the Akron Civic Theatre today. The special performances will feature Humbert’s terrific honkytonk band the Shootouts as well as alt-country group the HawtThorns and local singer-songwriter Gretchen Pleuss.

A different surprise guest will appear at each performance. This year’s show will feature a blend of holiday classics and songs from the Shootouts’ debut album Quick Draw, which spent over nine weeks on the Americana Radio Album Chart this past summer. During each performance, the Akron-Canton Regional Foodbank will collect nonperishable food donations. Tickets

are $20 for general admission or $35 for two (date-night special).

Performances continue through Dec. 12. (Jeff Niesel) 182 South Main St., Akron, 330-253-2488, akroncivic.com.

Cavs vs. Houston Rockets Sharpshooting Houston Rockets guard James Harden has put together a remarkable season so far. In one game against the lowly Atlanta Hawks, he scored 60 points in just three quarters. Expect him to dominate the court tonight when the Rockets take on the Cavs at 7 p.m. at Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse. Check the FieldHouse website for ticket prices. (Niesel) 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.

with storytelling. Through it, the folks at Music Box Supper Club hope to raise awareness of the mission of the Western Reserve Historical Society’s Cleveland History Center.

The goal is to “bring to life some of the fun, interesting stories about Cleveland’s past — from sports, to rock ’n’ roll, to Millionaires’ Row,” as it’s put in a press release. Admission is free, with no cover charge, although a prix fixe dinner, designed to complement the night’s theme, is $20. Tonight, Brian Jones talks about purchasing the home where A Christmas Story was filmed and turning it into A Christmas Story House & Museum. Doors open at 5 p.m., dinner is served at 6, and the storytelling starts at 7. (Niesel) 1148 Main Ave., 216-242-1250, musicboxcle.com.

SPOKEN WORD

THEATER

Cleveland Stories Dinner Parties Cleveland Stories Dinner Party is a weekly series that pairs fine food

Every Brilliant Thing Billed as “a surprising and immersive theatrical experience that

SPORTS

speaks openly about depression, mental illness, and suicide,” Every Brilliant Thing focuses on a character who decides to make a list of things he thinks will rescue his mother from her depression. The Cleveland Play House presents its take on the play tonight at 7:30 at the Helen Rosenfeld Lewis Bialosky Lab Theatre, where it continues through Dec. 22. Tickets start at $20. (Niesel) 1407 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, clevelandplayhouse.com.

THEATER

Mean Girls Part of the KeyBank Broadway Series, Mean Girls centers on a newbie who must navigate a high school filled with “frenemies.” Book writer Tina Fey, composer Jeff Richmond, lyricist Nell Benjamin and director Casey Nicholaw collaborated on this musical that’s based on the movie of the same name. Tonight’s show takes place at | clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

19

THEATER

GET OUT 7:30 p.m. at Connor Palace, where performances continue through Dec. 22. Tickets start at $10.

(Niesel) 1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

A Christmas Carol The Great Lakes Theatre’s annual production of this Charles Dickens’ classic continues its run at Playhouse Square tonight, where it has become a holiday staple. The story about how a certain Scrooge comes to realize that he needs to embrace the holiday season has proven to be a timeless

beloved Christmas Story returns, as it does each holiday season, to the Allen Theatre — complete with leg lamps, pink bunny suits and hilarious family antics. See it tonight at 7:30. Performances continue through Dec. 23. Tickets are $20 to $97. (Christine Howey) 1407 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, clevelandplayhouse.com.

COMEDY

Josh Sneed An Ohio native, Josh Sneed holds the distinction of quitting his comfy job at Proctor & Gamble to become a comedian. That’s a decision that could have gone terribly wrong. But Sneed has become a working comic and he has a distinctive delivery as his calm voice serves as a precursor to the hilarious punch line that comes next. He tends to share jokes about his everyday life. He performs tonight at 7 at Hilarities, where he has shows scheduled through Saturday. Consult the website for ticket prices. (Niesel) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.

Rock Your Holiday

This season, grab your whole crew and head over to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame for holiday jam sessions, spirited drinks & festive photo opps. Explore spotlights on your favorite artists inside Play It Loud: Instruments of Rock & Roll and then get your hands on real gear and jam inside The Garage.

orchestra website for ticket prices.

(Niesel) 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.

MUSIC

New Soft Shoe Nine years ago, on what local singersongwriter Brent Kirby calls a drunken dare, a group of Cleveland friends and musicians showed up at the Happy Dog to play a couple sets of tunes by the late, great Gram Parsons. Dubbed the New Soft Shoe, the group has been at it ever since, spreading the gospel of what it refers to “Gram’s Cosmic American Music.”

Anything that Parsons played, the New Soft Shoe covers. As a result, the group plays tunes from the International Submarine Band, the Byrds and Flying Burrito Brothers.

It also plays songs from Parsons’ solo album GP/Grievous Angel.

Tonight at 8, the band performs in the Waldorf Hall at Forest City Brewery. Admission is free, but a donation is requested. (Niesel) 2135 Columbus Rd., 216-228-9116, forestcitybrewery.com.

DANCE

THU

The Nutcracker Tonight at the Hanna Theatre, the Cleveland Ballet takes on The Nutcracker, a ballet in two acts that tells the classic story of Clara and her Nutcracker Prince and how a young woman’s favorite Christmas toy comes to life and takes her on a fantastic trip through a magical kingdom. Tonight’s performance begins at 7 p.m.; additional performances continue through Dec. 15. Tickets are $25 to $79; get them on the website. (Niesel) 2067 East 14th St., 216-241-6000, clevelandballet.com.

12/12

FILM

Atlantics This atmospheric film from French actress-turned-director Mati Diop centers on a construction worker who leaves his secret lover behind as he sets out in search of a better life. Set in contemporary Senegal, the movie won the Grand Prix at this year’s Cannes Film Festival. It screens tonight at 8:35 and tomorrow night at 7 at the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque. Tickets cost $10, or $7 for Cinematheque members and students. (Niesel) 11610 Euclid Ave., 216-421-7450, cia.edu.

COMEDY

FILM

The Beast in the Jungle Based on a Henry James novella, The Beast in the Jungle focuses on the unrequited love between a man and a woman. Director Clara van Gool updates the story for modern times and uses dance to tell the story in her film that spans two centuries. The movie shows today at 7 p.m. at the Cleveland Museum of Art. Tickets cost $10, or $7 for CMA members. (Niesel) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.

20

OPEN FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON* Extended Hours on Dec. 27th & 28th 10AM - 7PM *closed Christmas Day

tale. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 at the Ohio Theatre, where it continues through Dec. 22.

Tickets are $28 to $75. (Niesel) 1501 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, greatlakestheater.org.

THEATER

A Christmas Story The Cleveland Play House’s production of Jean Shepherd’s

| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

HOLIDAY MUSIC + FILM

It’s a Wonderful Life in Concert Tonight at 7:30 at Severance Hall, the Cleveland Orchestra will play the score to the classic Frank Capra film It’s a Wonderful Life while the movie shows on the big screen. Vinery Parameswaran conducts the orchestra, and the Cleveland Orchestra Youth Chorus will be on hand as well. Consult the

Brian Regan Veteran comic Brian Regan originally set out to become an accountant. But when that didn’t work out, he shifted to comedy.

Years later, comedians around the country hail his impeccable delivery and ability to inject just enough physicality into his routines. Regan, who refrains from using profanity, relies on observational humor to entertain patrons. His bit on the PopTart is a classic, making fun of the complex instructions that accompany a simple toaster snack. He performs tonight at 7:30 at the Masonic Auditorium. Check the website for ticket prices. (Niesel) 3615 Euclid Ave., 216-881-6350, masoniccleveland.com.

COMEDY

Tony Rock While not as well known as his superstar brother, comedian Chris Rock, Tony Rock has plenty going for him. In one funny routine, he talks about the “whitest thing he ever saw.” He recounts witnessing a citizen’s arrest at an airport when a guy leaped into “full white-guy mode” after he saw someone take an elevator “without authorization.”

A great storyteller, Rock performs tonight at 7:30 at the Improv, where he has shows scheduled through Sunday. Tickets cost $17. (Niesel) 1148 Main Ave., 216-696-IMPROV, clevelandimprov.com.

FAMILY FUN

The Wild Winter Lights Festival The Cleveland Metroparks Zoo has brought back its holiday light event that was discontinued after the 2004 season. The zoo has reworked the bright spectacle to include thousands of lights, a visit from Santa, an extremely tall teddy bear and, of course, plenty of animals. Dubbed the Wild Winter Lights Festival, the event takes place today through Sunday from 5:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m.; additional select dates, through Jan. 5, are listed on the website. Tickets

start at $18.50 for those who aren’t members of the zoo and $15.50 for members. Find out more about the event and buy tickets on the website.

(Laura Morrison) 3900 Wildlife Way, 216-661-6500, clemetzoo.com.

FRI

12/13

THEATER

Big Fish The critically acclaimed movieturned-musical, Big Fish is the next installment in the Near West Theatre’s Season of Discovery series.

Based on the Daniel Wallace novel and the film directed by Tim Burton, Big Fish centers on parents and their children as well as “the tales we use to define ourselves and those we leave behind as our legacy.” Music is directed by Jordan Cooper and choreography is led by Katie Gibson.

The musical runs weekends through Dec. 15. Tickets are as low as $10 for adults and $8 for children 12 and under. Reserved Star Seat tickets are $25. (Niesel) 6702 Detroit Rd., 216-961-6391, nearwesttheatre.org.

HOLIDAY MUSIC

DANCE

Cleveland Orchestra Christmas Concert The Cleveland Orchestra and Choruses team up tonight for the orchestra’s annual offerings of music for the season, including singalongs and a very special guest. The concerts take place in the “yuletide splendor of Severance Hall,” a gem of a space aglow with festive decor.

Performances continue through Sunday. Consult the orchestra website for more info. (Niesel) 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.

The Hip Hop Nutcracker Directed and choreographed

by Jennifer Weber, The Hip Hop Nutcracker offers a contemporary update to Tchaikovsky’s classic ballet. A supercharged cast of a dozen all-star dancers, a DJ, a violinist and MC Kurtis Blow, one of hip-hop’s founding fathers, will be on hand. Expect to see digital graffiti and visuals “transform the landscape of E.T.A. Hoffmann’s beloved story from traditional 19th century Germany to the vibrant, diverse sights and sounds of contemporary New York City. “ It all goes down tonight at 8 at the State Theatre.

Tickets cost $25 to $65. (Niesel) 1519 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

FILM

Genese A boarding-school student falls in love with his best friend in the coming-of-age film Genese, while the student’s half-sister struggles to navigate an open relationship with her boyfriend. The 2018 movie represents the latest film from Canadian director Phillippe Lesage.

It makes its Cleveland debut at 9:05 tonight at the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque. Tickets cost $10, or $7 for Cinematheque members and students. Buy advance tickets on the website. (Niesel) 11610 Euclid Ave., 216-421-7450, cia.edu.

SPORTS

Monsters vs.

Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins As part of a special promotion that runs all season, Cleveland Monsters fans can score a $1 Pepsi, $2 Sugardale hotdog and $3 select 12-ounce beer on Friday nights.

Tonight, the team takes on the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins.

The game begins at 7 at the Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse, and the two teams face off again tomorrow at the

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| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

21

Coming Attractions Good for all shows including 2020’s “Hamilton!”

E-gift card now available playhousesquare.org/giftcard or 216-640-8800

GET OUT same time. At tomorrow’s game, the first 2,000 kids under the age of 12 will receive a Monsters trading card set. After the Monsters’ first goal of the night, fans can chuck teddy bears onto the ice, and the bears will benefit a local children’s hospital.

Tickets start at $10. (Niesel) 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.

FAMILY FUN

DAVE KOZ CHRISTMAS 2019 Jonathan Butler, Melissa Manchester, Michael Lington, Chris Walker December 12

JIM BRICKMAN: A CHRISTMAS CELEBRATION December 14

MANDY PATINKIN IN CONCERT: DIARIES January 11

PAULA POUNDSTONE January 24

ELVIS TRIBUTE ARTISTS BIRTHDAY SPECTACULAR January 12

THE MOZART EFFECT: LIVE! A SYMPHONY FOR THE SENSES January 17

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22

Scuba Claus The Greater Cleveland Aquarium’s annual Scuba Claus event continues today, tomorrow and Sunday. Guests can talk to Scuba Claus while he’s in one of the exhibits and ask a question about diving or suggest gifts for the fish. Guests can also takes photos with Scuba Claus. The aquarium will also feature a chance to craft animal-themed snowflakes and take part in a cold weather trivia challenge for a chance to win an aquarium experience prize package valued at $200. In addition, the animal care team will present holiday- and cold-weather-themed feeding enrichment activities such as giving fish melting icicle treats and giving birds fruit ornaments.

Children visiting on Scuba Claus appearance days also receive an original holiday mini activity book and a Scuba Claus temporary tattoo, while supplies last. Check the aquarium website for hours and ticket prices. The event continues through Dec. 24. (Niesel) 2000 Sycamore St., 216-862-8803, greaterclevelandaquarium.com.

BOOKS

Tap Dance Killer Vol. 1 Book Release Signing Tap Dance Killer Vol. 1, the latest graphic novel from local author Ted Sikora, has just come out. Set in Cleveland, it centers on a female mobster assassin who blurs the lines between villain and hero. To celebrate its release, Sikora will appear at Gypsy Beans today for a book signing. The book signing continues for the entire day, from 8 a.m. to 9 p.m. During those hours, Sikora will sell copies of the book alongside his other graphic novels and promises that there will be “groovy holiday combo deals,” as well. (Niesel) 6425 Detroit Ave., 216-939-9009, gypsybeans.com.

| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

HOLIDAY HAPPENING

FILM

Walkabout Tremont Walkabout Tremont, which takes place on the second Friday of every month from 5 to 10 p.m., showcases the best of this smart neighborhood, with art openings, extended hours at galleries and shops, restaurant and bar specials, street performers, live music, neighborhood walking tours and much more. This month, the theme is Light Up Your Holidays, complete with holiday pop-up shops helmed by local artists. Also new this month, the holiday shopping ops extend into Saturday evening as well. See the event’s Facebook page for more info. (Niesel) facebook.com/walkaboutTremont.

Little Women Director Greta Gerwig’s take on Little Women will likely be an Oscar contender when it comes out this month. With that in mind, the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque shows 1933’s Little Women today at 5 p.m. Tickets cost $12, or $9 for Cinematheque members and students. Admission for students under the age of 17 will be only $3, and there will be free popcorn. (Niesel) 11610 Euclid Ave., 216-421-7450, cia.edu.

SAT

12/14

FILM

A Christmas Story Set in the 1940s, A Christmas Story follows the trials and tribulations of 9-year-old Ralph (Peter Billingsley), a boy who just wants a new Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas. The film has become a cult classic; it shows at noon and 2:30 p.m. today at the Capitol Theatre. Tickets cost $1.

(Niesel) 1390 West 65th St., 216-651-7295, clevelandcinemas.com.

FILM

The Polar Express 3-D Robert Zemeckis directs this classic Christmas story, based on a beloved book by Chris Van Allsburg, about a boy who boards a train that takes him to the North Pole and a personal encounter with Santa. The film’s unique look features human characters animated by live-action motion-capture technology. The 3-D version of the film screens today at 11:30 at the Cedar Lee Theatre. A 2-D version screens at the theater tomorrow at 11:30 a.m. Tickets cost $1. (Niesel) 2163 Lee Rd., Cleveland Heights, 440-528-0355, clevelandcinemas.com.

SUN

12/15

HOLIDAY HAPPENING

Jingle Bell Rock N Shop 2019 In conjunction with the Coventry Village Winter Festival, the Grog Shop and B-Side Lounge will host their annual Jingle Bell Rock N Shop today from noon to 6 p.m. The event will feature a slew of local vendors such as Brittany’s Record Shop, Cleveland Street Glass and Guitar Riot. DJs will spin during the event, and the bar will serve up “boozy” holiday drinks. Admission is free.

(Niesel) 2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-321-5588, grogshop.gs.

HOLIDAY HAPPENING

BAYarts Kids’ Shopping Afternoon & Polar Express Pajama Party Personal shoppers will help youngsters pick out special gifts for the family at today’s holiday shopping event at BAYarts. From 1 to 3 p.m., there will be cocoa, cookies and free gift wrapping. Then from 3 to 5 p.m., The Polar Express will screen in the cozy Hearth Room: Blankets, pillows and sleeping bags are welcome. Admission is free. (Niesel) 28795 Lake Rd., Bay Village, 440-871-6543, bayarts.net.

FILM

The Last Black Man in San Francisco This film about a young man who tries to reclaim his parents’ Victorian mansion in San Francisco centers on issues of poverty and gentrification. It received wide acclaim when it had its theatrical release earlier this year. It screens at 9:10 tonight and at 6:30 tomorrow night at the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque. Tickets cost $10, or $7 for Cinematheque members and students. (Niesel) 11610 Euclid Ave., 216-421-7450, cia.edu.

HOLIDAY HAPPENING

Beachland Holiday Flea and Record Fair The Beachland Ballroom and Tavern’s annual Holiday Flea and Record Fair provides a great opportunity to pick up some local arts-and-crafts gifts. More than 20 vendors will be on hand for the event, selling vintage wares, vinyl records and other unusual items. The fair takes place in the club’s large ballroom, and food and beverages will be available in the Beachland Tavern, including a special holiday brunch menu. Hours are 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Admission is

free. (Niesel) 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.

Party. Tickets cost $11, or $8 for Cinematheque members and students. (Niesel) 11610 Euclid Ave., 216-421-7450, cia.edu.

FILM

Celebration Olivier Meyrou directs this film about fashion designer Yves Saint-Laurent’s final fashion show. Suppressed for 10 years, the film finally started to screen at festivals last year. It shows at 1:30 p.m. today and at 1:45 p.m. on Tuesday at the Cleveland Museum of Art. Tickets cost $10, or $7 for CMA members. (Niesel) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.

COMEDY

Patrick Keane Originally from the Midwest, comedian Patrick Keane likes to joke about going to Ireland and falling in love with the accent. “It’s so adorable,” he says. “It’s lyrical, the way they speak; and when we try to do the accent, it turns into a Jamaican accent.” Keane can slip into a variety of dialects with ease. He performs tonight at 7 at Hilarities. Tickets are $13 and $18. (Niesel) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.

FILM

Seeing Red: Stories of American Communists A three-time Oscar nominee who lives in the Dayton area, Julia Reichert is Ohio’s foremost nonfiction filmmaker. Julia Reichert: 50 Years in Film, a traveling retrospective that has come to the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque, features screenings of restored versions of her films.

Today at 4 p.m., the Cinematheque will screen Seeing Red: Stories of American Communists, her 1983 documentary about Americans who joined the Communist

MUSIC

Straight No Chaser The male acappella group Straight No Chaser had such success with their 2013 release Under the Influence, with musical cameos from Jason Mraz, Rob Thomas, Phil Collins and Dolly Parton, that it essentially became a household name. Expect to hear songs from that album tonight, alongside holiday tunes and selections from the band’s extensive back catalog.

Performances are at 3 and 7:30 p.m. at the State Theatre. Tickets are $34.50 to $62.50. (Niesel) 1519 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

MON

12/16

FAMILY FUN

Movie Mondays Every Monday, Cleveland Cinemas hosts $5 Movie Mondays, where film fans can catch up on the latest Hollywood flicks for significantly reduced prices. Bring your friends and family and make Movie Mondays a weekly tradition — many theaters even offer discounted concession stand items.

Participating theaters include Apollo Theatre, Capitol Theatre, Cedar Lee Theatre, Chagrin Cinemas and Tower City Cinemas.

Unfortunately, additional charges apply for 3-D movies.

(Alaina Nutile) clevelandcinemas.com.

NIGHTLIFE

Shit Show Karaoke Local rapper/promoter Dirty Jones and Scene’s own Manny Wallace

host Shit Show Karaoke, a weekly event at the B-Side Liquor Lounge wherein patrons choose from “an unlimited selection of jams from hip-hop to hard rock,” and are encouraged to “be as bad as you want.” Fueled by drink and shot specials, it all goes down tonight at 10 p.m. (Niesel) 2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-932-1966, bsideliquorlounge.com.

FOOD

Wing Dang Doodle Blues icon Howlin’ Wolf famously covered “Wang Dang Doodle,” the old blues tune penned by Willie Dixon. Prosperity Social Club in Tremont has adopted that slogan, calling its wing night Wing Dang Doodle. The weekly event features specials on Buffalo wings and cold brews. Prosperity will not only serve up substantial, $1 whole wings, but it’ll also offer meatless Monday “wing” baskets for vegans. Discounted drafts and a playlist of vintage-electric blues and soulful R&B curated by local musician Clint Holley will be on tap as well. Wing Dang Doodle takes place every Monday from 6 p.m. to midnight. (Niesel) 1109 Starkweather Ave., 216-937-1938, prosperitysocialclub.com.

TUE

12/17

MUSIC

Classical Revolution Cleveland Today, and the third Tuesday of every month, Classical Revolution Cleveland brings chamber music to the Happy Dog. Performers like the Trepanning Trio, students of Cleveland Institute of Music, and even Cleveland Orchestra members grace the stage in these exciting, free concerts. Tonight’s

performance starts at 8.

(Patrick Stoops) 5801 Detroit Ave., 216-651-9474, happydogcleveland.com.

MUSIC

Open Turntable Tuesday Tonight from 6 to 9, the Winchester hosts its weekly Open Turntable Tuesday. Jason Gokorsch will book guest DJs and offer slots to people who want to bring their own vinyl and spin their favorite songs or deep tracks.

First time DJs are encouraged, and equipment is provided.

Patrons can also bring records for the night’s DJ to add to their set.

Sign up on Northeast Ohio Vinyl Club’s Facebook page. (Niesel) 12112 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216-600-5338, facebook.com/ TheWinchesterMusicTavern.

MUSIC

Vinyl Night Jukebox owner Alex Budin has described his 1,350-squarefoot music-focused bar in the Hingetown ’hood as “a place where people can expect to hear and learn about music of multiple genres, all of which is concentrated in a constantly evolving jukebox.” The club hosts a vinyl night every Tuesday that serves as a listening party for new releases, partnering with Loop in Tremont, so patrons can hear a new album on vinyl. You can bring your own vinyl and spin it too. It all starts at 5 p.m. (Niesel) 1404 West 29th St., 216-206-7699, jukeboxcle.com.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene 15621 MADISON AVE. LAKEWOOD, OH (216)712-6996 • tomorispizzaandsubs.com

GREAT FOOD, GREAT FOLKS, & GOOD TIMES! LARGEST BEER & BOURBON SELECTION IN THE AREA KARAOKE NIGHT! EVERY THURSDAY!

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STAGE WELCOME TO THE [CHRISTMAS] PARTY, PAL Blank Canvas’ “Yippee Ki-Yay” subverts parody, offers hilarious holiday hijinks

by Roman Macharoni Photo by Kristen Netzband

THE DEBATE IS FINALLY OVER. Die Hard is a Christmas movie, and it’s gotten the holiday treatment.

Chicago’s greatest theatrical import has come to Cleveland with Blank Canvas’ regional premiere of Yippee Ki-Yay, Merry Christmas, a musical parody more baked than a fresh batch of gingerbread men and wrapped in enough pop culture references and puns to make for the perfect present for fans of abstract comedy theater.

The play — produced for the first time outside of MCL Chicago where this delightfully zany script was birthed — has made quite a name for itself in the Windy City as a new tradition, playing annually since 2014 to national praise. Locally, director Patrick Ciamacco, entrusted with Michael Shepard Jordan and Alex Garday’s story, has taken the play and flaunted its crass humor and wild antics while dialing all those qualities to 11. The script allowed the crew at Blank Canvas to really get crazy, and the result is an infectious amount of fun and laughter.

If only the Tonys had categories like “Best Song About Sexualizing Twinkies” or “Longest Raspberry Blown On-Stage” or the everillustrious “Best Use of a Wilhelm Scream.”

Similar to Die Hard, Bruce McClane (Danny Simpson) — already without shoes — takes a Christmas break from his beat cop job in New York to visit California, as he attempts to reconnect with his estranged wife, Holly Generic (Olivia Petrey). Suddenly, a stuffy international terrorist, Hans Olo (Chris Bizup, putting on his best Alan Rickman impression), interrupts a company party at Holly’s work and takes her and the other employees hostage, with Bruce stuck inside.

In order to save the day and win his wife back, Bruce is forced to utilize his wit, fists and a bunch of friends along the way, like Carl Winslow (Darius Stubbs), a sugarfueled cop Bruce communicates with through walkie-talkie, Winslow’s commander Dwayne T. P. V. Robinson (Kate Leigh Michalski) and

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It’s time for Christmas merriment with the ensemble cast at Blank Canvas.

even the gun-toting, quip-spewing Arnold Schwartzen-Schnitzel (Aaron Patterson). Bruce needs all the help he can get, despite Hans’ dim-witted entourage, which includes the likes of twins Klaus and Tony (both by Meg Martinez) and Marco (a life-size puppet).

Meanwhile, Olo’s assistant and tech expert Theo (Venchise GlennPhillips) finds a rather obscure way to manipulate Holly’s boss Ninetendo Nakatomi (Noah Hrbek) to unlock the company’s fortune, as coked-up co-worker Willis (Zach Palumbo) weasels his way to Hans’ good side, trying to sabotage Bruce’s

it can possibly use to poke fun at its original cast and their careers, the cheesy nature of ’80s’ action films in general and the absence of limitations within the theater medium.

The ensemble cast pulls no punches to deliver to the audience a raucous, side-splitting show.

Simpson, visibly posturing like Bruce Willis, isn’t afraid to make fun of himself, and it results in some great moments, especially with Bizup and Stubbs. Bizup also exudes self-deprecating humor and feigned machismo to overwhelming success.

Stubbs, meanwhile, is at his best

YIPPEE KI-YAY THROUGH DEC. 21 AT BLANK CANVAS THEATRE 1305 WEST 78TH ST., 440-941-0458 BLANKCANVASTHEATRE.COM

rescue mission for his own personal vendetta.

Fans of Die Hard will get some of the more detailed jokes and visual gags a bit more, but the play is also fine for those who have only a surface-level knowledge of the famed film franchise starring everyone’s favorite Levi’s spokesperson. Yippee Ki-Yay takes the source material with a grain of salt, inserting every joke

| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

whilst flaunting his “sensual” side with unabashed glee.

Petrey plays the independent woman schtick to a T, especially in her spotlight in the musical number “80’s Lady.” On the flipside, Kyle Burnett — a noticeably enthusiastic ensemble player who also plays an overzealous FBI agent — hilariously shouts his musical number, “Federal Badass Investigator,” with

conviction.

Hrbek — taking the grand prize for best human rag doll — parades his mastery of prop falls and physical comedy, pairing well with the hilarious Glenn-Phillips.

Palumbo shines, especially in the second act, with an unrivaled manic persona in musical numbers such as “Cocaine” and “Winning,” even with his contribution to the latter admittedly brief, but plays a part in one of the best visual gags of the play’s climax.

With a frenzy of frantic facial expressions, Martinez hams it up in the best way possible given her overthe-top roles, as Patterson displays a comical Schwarzenegger impression, complete with crazed yelps. Both chew scenery like it’s a holiday roast with all the trimmings, and it’s something to see.

The superb treatment of the music separates this play from parody.

Musical director Bradley Wyner blends Christmas classics and subtle nods to ’80s’ jams to create an eclectic soundtrack to an equally eclectic production.

In a rather inconsequential gripe that falls on the writers rather than Blank Canvas, there is a missed opportunity for laughs and a unique set piece parodying the numerous scenes of McClane inside air ducts like in the original Die Hard. However, there are plenty of references in and outside of the source material that work wonderfully.

With an all-in commitment to a sensationally quirky concept, Blank Canvas has taken this wild script and made it its own, and the jokes keep coming like waves at high tide.

You may find that, even long after the show has ended, you discover a joke or visual gag you may have glanced over.

Who knows, maybe we could borrow a holiday tradition from the Windy City and enjoy it every year. Sure beats a marathon of melodramatic Hallmark movies for getting in the Christmas spirit.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene

STAGE EPIC JOURNEY Creative storytelling in Dobama’s The Old Man and The Old Moon will change how you view that orb in the sky

By Gwendolyn Kochur LIKE MAGICIANS, MANY THEATER creatives have mastered the art of illusion. You’ll see productions where clever trickery with light, special effects and design create nearimpossible imagery that makes you wonder, “How the hell did they do that?”

This isn’t a question you’ll be asking yourself after attending Dobama Theatre’s production of The Old Man and The Old Moon, a show that exchanges pageantry for more traditional storytelling. In this playwith-music, Dobama’s talented cast relies on homemade special effects and the power of imagination to tell a heart-warming folk tale, the result of which is a delightful, downright enjoyable night of theater.

Did you ever wonder why the moon waxes and wanes? PigPen Theatre Co., a group of young Carnegie Mellon graduates, answers this question in The Old Man and The Old Moon, which they premiered offBroadway in 2014.

You see, in this show, we learn that the moon is actually made of liquid light, but it has a leak. Each night, the titular Old Man (Gabe Reed) climbs up a ladder and refills the moon. But when the Old Man’s wife (Emmy Brett) is called by a distant memory to journey west, the Old Man requisitions a group of sailors (Kieran Minor, Treva Offutt, Tim Keo, Jourdan Lewanda, Josh Innerst and Amy Bransky) to chase after her, abandoning the moon and casting the world into disarray.

Under the direction of Melissa T. Crum and Nathan Motta, Dobama’s regional premiere of The Old Man and The Old Moon is unapologetically energetic and impassioned. The eight-person cast is undeniably talented, with almost every one of the actors playing multiple characters and various instruments, ranging from guitars to piano and even an accordion, on stage.

The cast embraces the Gaelic sound of PigPen’s original songs they crafted for this story, all the while using sheets, flashlights, mops, and other props to tell a tale that spans across oceans. The most beautiful effects are created using

Photo by Steven Wagner Photography

Storytelling done right, in Dobama’s production of The Old Man and the Old Moon.

puppetry, such as when intricate shadow puppetry depicts how the Old Man’s ship traversed dangerous coral reefs and flying sharks. Another such example of beautiful imagery is when the cast uses their flashlights to show the moon dripping liquid light.

Of course, Marcus Dana’s lighting and Ben Needham’s scenic design also help to create the illusion of time and space. The lighting is fantastical and features vintage Edison bulbs. Dana’s design for the storm sequences is especially transformative. While individual

patterned sweaters and corduroy pants, is somewhat more eclectic, and wonderfully so given the nature of the show.

Less successful is the show’s sword fighting scene choreographed

by Ryan Zarecki. The battle fought with rolling pins, plungers, and other silly items is cute at first but overstays its welcome. The actions are far too cartoonish and the grunts of exertion from the cast quickly become frustratingly repetitive.

The only actor not portraying multiple characters is Reed, but he

THE OLD MAN AND THE OLD MOON THROUGH JAN. 5 AT DOBAMA THEATER 2340 LEE RD., CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, 216-932-3396 DOBAMA.ORG

place-settings, like the ship’s deck, the Old Man’s home and the basket of a hot air balloon, are depicted using props and imagination, Needham’s foundation for the set consists of multi-leveled platforms built to resemble a ship’s dock.

Most of Dobama’s creative elements appear to be an homage to the designs used in PigPen’s original production, save for Angelina Herin’s costume design. Herin’s costuming, which features overalls,

certainly has his hands full playing the titular character. Reed makes for a pleasant-to-watch protagonist whose dedication to the moon and love for his wife is heartwarming.

While the Old Man is the star of our story, we’re introduced to plenty of other interesting characters during the (somewhat taxing) 100-minute show. Lewanda acts as a partial narrator and the stoic sailor, Matheson. Her respectable character off-sets the thick-accented, more

eccentric — but by all means just as enjoyable — sailors Cookie and Mabelu, played by Keo and Offutt, respectively.

And in one of the most notable scenes, we meet the famed naval lieutenant Pericles Llewellyn McWallander in the belly of a giant fish. Innerst is jovial in his role as Pericles, a character who fully accepts his fishy fate, making this one of the funniest, most endearing moments of the show.

Every one of the actors on stage is undeniably skilled, both musically and theatrically. With their energies radiating as bright as their flashlights, it’s obvious to see that each player is passionate about the story they’re telling.

Perhaps that is why — despite telling a fantastical tale with giant fish, flying sharks, and liquid light — Dobama’s production feels downto-earth and intimate. The cast and creatives have embraced the whimsy, wonder, and creative storytelling characteristics of The Old Man and The Old Moon, crafting a memorable experience. You won’t look at the moon the same again.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene | clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

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| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

MOVIES OLYMPIC TRAGEDIES Clint Eastwood takes the mass media to task with Richard Jewell

By Jeff Niesel DIRECTOR CLINT EASTWOOD has said that his interest in the story of Richard Jewell, the security guard falsely accused of planting a bomb at Centennial Park in Atlanta during the 1996 Olympics, stems from the fact that it’s a “great American tragedy.”

That might well be, but despite a great performance from I, Tonya’s Paul Walter Hauser, who plays Jewell, the movie’s source material just doesn’t carry enough weight, and the fact that Eastwood reportedly alters some of the details to vilify and blame the media suggests a conservative motive behind the making of the movie.

Richard Jewell opens area-wide on Friday.

The story begins in the 1980s when Richard meets Watson Bryant (Sam Rockwell), the lawyer who would come to Richard’s aid after he’s accused of planting the bomb.

Despite the fact that Richard works as a lowly mail clerk, Watson treats him as an equal, and the two even hit the video game arcade together. Richard aspires to work in law enforcement, and he gets the opportunity when a local college hires him as a security guard. Richard, however, takes the job a bit too seriously and even starts pulling over cars on the highway and roughing up college kids drinking in

Photo Courtesy Warner Bros.

the dorms.

Fired from that gig, he gets another security job working security for the Olympics. When he spots a suspicious backpack one night during a Centennial Park concert, he tells his superiors and saves lives because of his actions. As the first man on the scene, he gets launched into the media spotlight and is initially hailed a hero.

But the mass media giveth, and the mass media taketh away. Because Richard is such a loner with a history of wanting attention, the FBI targets

him. And when Atlanta JournalConstitution reporter Kathy Scruggs (Olivia Wilde) gets an FBI agent (Jon Hamm) to leak that info to her in exchange for sex (something that reportedly never happened), a shit storm of epic proportions rains down on poor Richard. The FBI raids his home, and members of the media camp outside his house. Richard calls his old friend Watson to represent him, and the prickly Watson happily tells both the FBI and the media to leave the guy alone. He also tells Richard that he’s

got to stand up for himself.

Some of the film’s final scenes with Richard, Watson and Richard’s mother Bobi (Kathy Bates) are really electric thanks to the terrific actors and Eastwood’s solid directing, but it’s hard to get behind a movie that ultimately adheres to the reductive rhetoric about how the mass media is the enemy of the people.

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel

SPOTLIGHT: ATLANTICS THE FRENCH-SENEGALESE director Mati Diop’s debut film Atlantics is one of the more original and surprising films of the year.

Though it begins as a conventional third-world realist drama — construction workers in Dakar, Senegal, without wages for months, flee by boat to Spain to seek a better life — the film transforms midway into a kind of surrealist thriller, with elements of both police procedurals and ghost stories, all to convey the desperation, uncertainty and pain of losing loved ones at sea.

Souleiman (Ibrahima Traore) is among the construction workers in the opening scene. Crews have been building a new luxury hotel on Dakar’s Atlantic coast. After he returns home without pay, he meets his girlfriend, Ada (Mama Sane) in

an abandoned building, where they affirm their affection for each other.

Ada, though, is betrothed to another, a handsome man named Omar from a wealthy Muslim family. The film seems to have the contours, in fact, of a contemporary African Romeo & Juliet.

But late that night, Ada sneaks out to see Souleiman at the local seaside club and learns that “the boys” have gone, left by boat.

Despondently, and at the urging of her family and friends, Ada goes through with her engagement to Omar.

On the wedding night, as Ada laments what is destined to be a loveless marriage, the film begins to change. A fire at Omar’s house appears to have spontaneously combusted in the nuptial bed, and

police are called. The young local inspector, Issa (Amadou Mbow), is convinced that Souleiman has returned (or maybe never left) and started the fire in a vengeful wrath.

But Ada insists that Souleiman has indeed gone. Slowly, as an inexplicable sickness overtakes multiple members of the community, Issa and Ada both begin to discover what really happened that night and what really happened on the ocean.

Like Fernando Meirelles’ 2002 film, City of God, which told an unforgettable story of friendship and crime in the slums of Rio de Janeiro, Atlantics tells an urgent story that brings to life a world city. Dakar’s dusty roads, concrete structures and the perpetual sound of the Atlantic Ocean’s waves, to say nothing of its vastness, are all on display.

Though the film is not scary per se, there are moments of profound disquiet. I won’t spoil the film’s second half, but the magical-realist elements occur, remarkably, without a significant tonal shift. They are integrated seamlessly into the reality of Dakar, and the tragedies of forced migration. The visuals of the final scenes, amidst the strobe lights and mirrors of the club, are both understated and ingenious.

Atlantics is now streaming on Netflix and screens at the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque Thursday, Dec. 12, at 8:35 p.m. and Friday, Dec. 13, at 7 p.m.

— Sam Allard

sallard@clevescene.com t@scenesallard | clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

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EAT PUTTING ON THE GLITZ Il Venetian’s stellar service and solid execution matches its big price point

By Douglas Trattner Photo by Emanuel Wallace

I’VE NEVER EATEN IN AN executive dining room, those sumptuous corporate sanctuaries reserved for top-rung employees, but after a few meals at Il Venetian, I can now imagine what the experience must be like. Outside, passersby trudge anxiously to awaiting court dates at the Justice Center. But on this side of the wispy curtains, well-dressed capitalists dine in quiet comfort beneath elegant Italian-glass chandeliers. Across the street, frugal commuters hit up the mobile food cart for $2 chili dogs, but in here, we sit at cool Italian marble tables while carving into $50 veal chops.

Il Venetian is like a big, warm hug from a very rich uncle.

Coming in from the cold, diners are immediately greeted by a dapper host, who graciously whisks away one’s coat before guiding the party across spotless tile and cushy carpet to awaiting seats, which are aptly plush. Background music is pleasant and upbeat, but not so loud as to drown out the business of the day that emanates from most tables.

Servers appear directly, filling water glasses, removing extra table settings and reciting the day’s specials.

If fine dining is dead, you wouldn’t know it by eating here.

This expense account-ready eatery on the ground floor of Key Tower is part of the same hospitality group that includes Marble Room and LockKeepers. In addition to the lavish surroundings and excellent service, guests can look forward to technically proficient Italian fare that largely sticks to the playbook, albeit with a few twists and upgrades.

Airy fresh-baked focaccia lands on the table alongside an herby olive oil dip. Both will be gone long before the wine arrives from its glassy chamber in the dining room. Italian wines from prime wine-growing regions across that country command more than half the impressive list, supplemented by choice selections from California, France and Spain.

We progressed from subtle to sublime with a pair of compelling starters. An order of beef carpaccio

($18) reminds one why this dish is still around, thanks to melt-inyour-mouth leaves of wagyu offset by slivers of fried garlic and punchy capers. Beads of aioli enrich the experience. We’ve entered peakoctopus in Cleveland, and the version offered here ($18) is perfectly textured: poached until tender, grilled until crisp-edged and smoky.

There’s genuine heat, too, supplied by wheels of fiery chiles. All of the

chef manages to distill the flavor of an entire lobster into each delicate cappelletti ($29), essentially tortellini. The fresh pasta pouches are just firm enough to keep the contents from crawling back to the sea. A lemony sauce laces through it all. Diners would be hard-pressed to find a lighter gnocchi ($20), which appear to be held together by little more than prayer. The pudding-soft orbs are bathed in a truffle-scented

IL VENETIAN 100 ST. CLAIR AVE. E., 216-241-4800 ILVENETIAN.COM

above is seated in a creamy puree of celery root-spiked potatoes.

At prices such as these a diner might expect the kitchen to separately plate a split Caesar salad ($12) — and that’s precisely what they do. The cooks also do all the chopping, dressing and tossing, making this bright, lively salad an effortless mid-meal delight.

At prices such as these a diner might expect the kitchen to make by hand most of the pastas — and that’s precisely what they do. The

sauce so indulgently cheesy that it could pass as fondue lite.

If you embarrass easily, consider sidestepping the veal chop Parmesan ($48). Il Venetian’s dinner plates are the size of frisbees, but still the bone-in beast could not be contained.

Apart from its dimensions (and price), however, there is little to distinguish this pounded, breaded, pan-fried and cheese-broiled version from more modest versions. In fact, we found it under-seasoned and a bit bland. The meat shingle comes

perched atop a tangle of spaghetti pomodoro, which, by the way, is the only pasta available by the half order.

At lunch, diners are treated to the same buoyant service and competent preparations, but you’ll save a couple bucks. Hot cherry peppers enliven a textbook calamari ($14) that is light, crisp and ample enough for an extended family. Nice touches such as warm marinara and cool aioli dipping sauces show that little here is overlooked. The lunch menu features most of the pastas, as well as trimmer versions of the mains, but also a burger and excellent meatball panini ($15). That last option transforms a typically unwieldy construction into tidy stacks starring split balls, sauce and cheese.

Given the progress and development that we’ve experienced over the past handful of years downtown, it was only a matter of time until we began seeing an influx of upper echelon restaurants. Il Venetian fills that niche capably and tastefully.

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner | clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

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EAT BITES Michael Symon and Doug Trattner’s latest cookbook, Fix It With Food, ofďŹ cially out now

By Vince Grzegorek Photo courtesy of Clarkson Potter/Publishers

MICHAEL SYMON’S FIX IT with Food is ofďŹ cially out today.

This is the Cleveland chef’s latest — and most personal — cookbook to hit the shelves. As usual, the book is co-authored by Scene dining editor Douglas Trattner.

The 256-page hardcover book, published by Clarkson Potter ($27), helps home cooks manage inammation and pain by offering up recipes that avoid common food triggers such as red meat, white our, sugar, dairy and alcohol. The book is broken up into chapters ďŹ lled with delicious recipes that avoid those triggers. “Symon suffers from both rheumatoid arthritis and external lupus,â€? Trattner explains. “While on the Chew, he devised a similar plan to determine what his personal triggers were — which foods he could safely eat and which ones he should avoid — and then set about devising recipes that eased both inammation and pain.â€?

The book begins with a 10-day “reset,â€? a collection of 30 recipes that avoid all of those triggers, giving inammation sufferers the opportunity to start “cleanâ€? before embarking on their own personalized plan. There is a heavy emphasis on known anti-inammatory foods like blueberries, walnuts, avocado, mushrooms, broccoli, ginger, cayenne, turmeric and salmon.

This gorgeous book, shot by awardwinning photographer Ed Anderson and styled by famed Susan Spungen, features more than 125 recipes.

various businesses by tasting, visiting and financial supporting their locations,� A Taste of Black Cleveland Restaurant Week started on Dec. 9 and continues through Dec. 16, featuring 19 restaurants.

Participants include: — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Enjoy the Inaugural Taste of Black Cleveland Restaurant Week Cleveland this week joins other cities that feature and focus on black-owned restaurants during a designated week — much like

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independent restaurants are celebrated as a whole during Restaurant Week.

Following a mission to “create an opportunity to bring awareness to local black owned restaurants throughout Northeastern Ohio and to encourage the entire community to support these

Pearl’s Kitchen The Rib Cage Sauce the City Beckham’s B&M Black Box Fix The Sweet Fix Bakery Swerve Grille Sylk’s Chicken and Fish The Crispy Chick Floods Urban Seafood Lounge Zanzibar Soul Fusion Fawaky Burst Subcity The Fresh Fix Fresh and Meaty Burgers The Original Grill 5 Points Grill Goodfellas Legends Bistro

For more information, including featured dishes and a chance to vote for your favorite restaurant, visit therealblackfriday.com.

vgrzegorek@clevescene.com t@vincethepolack

HOLIDAY EVENTS Christmas Eve Candlelight Dinner

Serving Our Regular Menu 3:30-9pm (Now taking reservations)

New Year’s Eve

3pm-10pm | Serving Our Regular Menu (Now Taking Reservations)

New Year’s Day

Noon-7pm Serving Our Regular Menu & the Traditional Roast Pork & Sauerkraut Dinner (Now taking reservations)

PURCHASE $100 OF GIFT CERTIFICATES, GET A BONUS $20 GIFT CERTIFICATE! PURCHASE $50 OF GIFT CERTIFICATES, GET A BONUS $10 GIFT CERTIFICATE! BONUS GIFT CERTIFCATES VALID BETWEEN 1/1/19 - 2/28/19

The Chocolate Bar would like to thank the people of Northeast Ohio for 10 wonderful years.

Come celebrate our 10 year anniversary with us the week of December 16th-22nd.

Named Scene Magazine’s Best Desserts 2019 We have proudly served Cleveland and look forward to another 10 wonderful years!

347 Euclid Ave, Cleveland, Ohio 44114 | 216-622-2626 | www.thechocolatebar.com

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listen to Jethro Tull. I was a year or two years into playing flute when I realized I couldn’t play flute and sing at the same time unless I had a band behind me, and I didn’t have a band behind me, so I picked up the guitar.”

At that time, she says, she wrote exclusively about “every crush or boyfriend I had.”

“I didn’t know how seriously I could take it,” she says. “It was always just a hobby. I discovered Nashville when I was in high school. I fell in love with the city and the history of songwriters and realized it was

something I could pursue. I moved here in 2008 to go to school at Belmont.”

After graduating, she tried performing around town but opted instead to work as a publicist instead of pursuing singing and songwriting full time.

“I moved to Nashville after falling in love with the city and the idea that there were so many creators in one place and that something that seemed like a far-fetched dream could actually become a reality,” she says. “My journey was more complicated.

You’re up against all the other people, and I freaked out a little bit. I dove into he business | clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

Photo by Lindsey Grace Whiddon

A

CLEVELAND NATIVE WHO GREW up listening to classic rock, country singer-guitarist Emily Hackett originally thought she’d play the flute.

Inspired by Jethro Tull’s Ian Anderson, she even took lessons.

Then she came to her senses. After all, Tull’s eccentric Anderson isn’t easy to emulate.

“Flute was actually my very first instrument,” she says via phone from her Nashville home. She performs with Maddie Indre at 8 p.m. on Friday at the Beachland Ballroom. “That was solely because I would

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DECEMBER BOX OFFICE HOURS The box office will be open on Fridays & Saturdays in December from 1PM–9PM to accomodate all of your gift-giving needs.

1/15

MORGAN WALLEN'S Whiskey Glasses Road Show

1/18

CHARLIE WILSON

1/30

UMPHREY'S MCGEE With Special Guest The New Deal

1/31

TIFFANY HADDISH Live in Concert

2/1

STAYIN' ALIVE One Night with The Bee Gees

2/7

CHRIS TUCKER Live in Concert

2/21 2/22 2/28

WHO IS JILL SCOTT?

2/29

TRACY MORGAN No Disrespect

12/19

UNDER THE STREETLAMP Hip to the Holidays 7:30PM

12/28 BUCKCHERRY With Special

Guest The Suede Brothers 8PM

GREAT WHITE & SLAUGHTER

that side of things pretty heavily, until one day I got home and realized I would still rather be on the other side of the camera instead of the one behind the scenes telling people what to say or not say. I realized that was a door closing. I went back to Plan A.” She entered a songwriting competition sponsored by the local department store and won. As a result, she got to tour with some rather significant country acts.

“I was thrown into going on these different tour dates with these major artists,” she says. “I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I took it as a sign of the universe providing a window into what it could look like. It was such a ‘yes’ moment to me. I put all my fears of not being able to do it aside. I went back to Ground Zero.”

At that time, she cut her 2015 album The Raw EP. She says the songs reflect her state of mind.

“I recorded those songs in the most real way possible,” she says.

“That was how I performed them for a long time. I went on the road with an upright bass player and guitar player.

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34

MUSIC

one of CMT’s Next Women in Country (a program that helped launch the careers of artists such as Maren Morris and Kelsea Ballerini).

“By the Sun was open and honest and that continued onto By the Moon, but that second EP took me to a more vulnerable place. It’s like, ‘Now that I’ve introduced myself to you, let’s get real, so I can tell you about the mistakes I’ve made and the lessons I’ve learned.’”

Infidelity inspired one of the By the Moon’s standout tracks, “Easy,” a tune that finds Hackett really belting out her vocals over an infectious guitar riff. It could be a Shania Twain tune if a Shania Twain tune had more substance to it.

“When I wrote that song, I was well into my current relationship [with husband Mikey Reaves],” she says. “I had come out of a pretty dark place before that. I had been with a guy for several years who I had convinced myself was somebody who I could spent the rest of my life with.

The reality of that just wasn’t true.

You get to certain places in your life where you’re unsure of your journey and you lean into a relationship because it’s comfortable and you think it’ll save you. It turns out that that’s not true. I had to learn the hard way.”

| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

EMILY HACKETT, MADDIE INDRE 8 P.M. FRIDAY, DEC. 13 BEACHLAND BALLROOM, 15711 WATERLOO RD., 216-383-1124 TICKETS: $12 ADV, $14 DOS, BEACHLANDBALLROOM.COM

I did everything stripped down.”

After The Raw EP, however, Hackett moved in a different musical direction and found herself once again wanting to draw from the classical rock of her childhood.

“I loved everything we did with The Raw EP, but there was also a side of me that left every show feeling like something was missing,” she says.

“After a show in Nashville, I had a friend in the audience who came up to me and said, ‘I hear it. I hear what you’re doing. If you give me a chance, I think I can produce your record.’

We became fast friends. He took my songs and added electric guitars and day-dreamed with me. We added in the rock ’n’ roll that I grew up on.”

“Nostalgia,” the first single they cut together, mixes rock and pop.

Hackett speaks/sings over rattling drums and a buzzing bass riff.

It became the lead song on last year’s By the Sun, and the rock/pop approach carries over onto this year’s By the Moon. The music industry has taken notice too. Hackett was named

Hackett says she has a new batch of songs ready to go and plans to begin doing some recording this month.

“It’s been fun picking out the new songs,” she says. “I’m thrilled to put those out into the world. They’re more about where I am now. They might sound more pop than they have in the past. It’s all still me. I never do something just to do something new.

It’s just a different direction and we’re playing around with different sounds. I’m excited. Many of the new artists have done a good job of being a dripping faucet of new music: There’s no long waiting process. You get to do that with the big artists like Coldplays and Beyonces. But as a new artist, you have to keep giving them stuff. The two EPs was to show the world that I’m here and here to stay.

Now, I want to keep growing.”

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel

@masoniccle @hobcleveland

@masoniccleveland

J U S T A N N O U N C E D - O N S A L E F R I DAY

MAR. 12 ON SALE FRI. 10AM

KILL TONY PODCAST FT. TONY HINCHCLIFFE AND BRIAN REDBAN

w/ IAN NOE presented by 91.3 The Summit

DECEMBER 15

DECEMBER 17

HANSON

OHIO CIT Y SINGERS

w/ PAUL MCDONALD, JOSHUA & THE HOLY ROLLERS

DECEMBER 18

w/ CLINT HOLLY

DECEMBER 20

DECEMBER 21

BOYS FROM COUNT Y HELL (Tribute to The Pogues) w/ JACK HARRIS Tribute to Pearl Jam

Tribute to Metallica w/ MAIDEN VOYAGE – Tribute to Iron Maiden

w/ Best of Foo - Tribute to Foo Fighters

DECEMBER 23

DECEMBER 27

DECEMBER 28

THE DEAD SOUTH w/ LEGENDARY SHACK SHAKERS, DANNY OLLIVER

DECEMBER 29

DECEMBER 31

JANUARY 5

G. LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE w/ D.J. Williams’ Shots Fired

COMING SOON

Jan. 2 Jan. 4 Jan. 6 Jan. 10 Jan. 11 Jan. 15 Jan. 23 Jan. 27 Jan. 28 Jan. 28

BUY TICKETS AT

LD SO UT O

JANUARY 17

JANUARY 18

Motion City Soundtrack w/ The Sidekicks, Van Dale SOLD OUT Wish You Were Here – Pink Floyd Tribute Surfaces w/ Public Library Commute Cambridge Room SOLD OUT Saved By the 90’s Capricorn Party ft. Terry Lee Goffee (Tribute to Johnny Cash) w/ SOWFLO Led Zeppelin 2 plays III: A 50th Anniversary Celebration Magic City Hippies w/ Tim Atlas Cambridge Room The Adicts Nightly w/ Sawyer, THE WLDLFE Cambridge Room Tori Kelly w/ Audrey MiKa

I WANNA THANK ME TOUR

Jan. 30 Feb. 1 Feb. 4 Feb. 7 Feb. 8 Feb. 9 Feb. 10 Feb. 11 Feb. 11

JANUARY 24

Trampled By Turtles w/ Them Coulee Boys In Association w/ Beachland Ballroom Thunderstruck – AC/DC Tribute iann dior w/ Landon Cube, POORSTACY Roddy Ricch SiriusXM presents Totally 80’s w/ The Motels, Bow Wow Wow, When In Rome II The Allam Betts Band w/ JD Simo, Jackson Stokes Jacquees NGHTMRE w/ KOMPANY, EFFIN, BLACK A.M. In Association with Cumulus Tall Heights w/ Saint Sister Cambridge Room

Buy tickets at Ticketmaster.com or 216-523-BLUE

Feb. 12 Feb. 13 Feb. 14 Feb. 15 Feb. 20 Feb. 21 Feb. 25 Feb. 26 Feb. 29 March 6 March 7

Badfish: A Tribute to Sublime w/ The Quasi Kings JJ Grey & Mofro w/ Neal Francis Boy Band Review - Denim Valentine Formal Dance Paul Fayrewether Chris Lane Iration w/ Ballyhoo!, Iya Terra, The Ries Brothers flor w/ Winnetka Bowling League Cambridge Room Nicole Bus Cambridge Room Gaelic Storm Allen Stone SiriusXM Hip Hop Nation pres.

Young Dolph and Key Glock: No Rules Tour

MASONIC CLEVELAND: 3615 Euclid Ave, Cleveland OH 44115 HOUSE OF BLUES: 308 Euclid Ave, Cleveland OH 44114 masoniccleveland.com / houseofblues.com | clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

35

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MONDAY 12.16 SHITSHOW KRAROKE (9pm) w/WALLACE + MANNY TUESDAY 12.17 LYRICAL RHYTHMS (9pm) Live Band Open Mic Poetry Hip-Hop Soul Experience

SOCCER MOMMY 4/-"%2,).

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| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

FRIDAY 12.13 BASS IN YA FACE (10PM) BASS, EDM and Rave Culture Presented by Mac Entertainment

$/,, 3+).

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THURSDAY 12.12 THE HOOK UP (10pm) Top 40 Club Night w/DJ MIKE FILLY

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36

ANNUAL FREE SHOW WEEKEND!

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MUSIC AN ACCESSIBLE APPROACH The Get Up Kids balance pop and punk on their new album

By Jeff Niesel THE GET UP KIDS, A VETERAN indie rock act that first formed in 1995 and reunited in 2008 after a three-year hiatus, put out an album right after reuniting. But when it came time to follow that record up, the group took a whopping eight years.

“We put out a record in 2011 and did a year-and-a-half’s worth of touring. We went all over the world touring that record,” says singerguitarist Matt Pryor in a recent phone interview. The band performs with Hembree and Sontalk at 8:30 p.m. on Thursday at the Grog Shop.

“When we got done, we realized we needed to take a break, which is what we should have done instead of breaking the band up in 2005 in the first place. We took about a four-year break. [Guitarist] Jim [Suptic] went back to school and [drummer] Ryan [Pope] moved to Paris for a couple of years. [Bassist] Rob [Pope] started playing with Spoon. I started doing solo records. A couple of years ago, we wanted to try it again. From there, it takes time to write a record and record a record and release a record.”

As the group started to write the tracks for what would be become its latest album, Problems, it relied more on its instinct than it had on previous releases.

“The biggest difference with this record is that we didn’t handicap ourselves,” says Pryor. “We didn’t care if we had done something like this before. If it sounded cool and sounded like us, we went with it. For the last couple of records, we just wanted to try something different.

We still tried something different this time around but not just for the sake of being different.”

Produced by Peter Katis (Kurt Vile, the National), the album features the band’s signature anthemic choruses and singalongready melodies as it adroitly balances pop and punk elements.

“He’s fantastic,” Pryor says of Katis. “It was the best experience we’ve had making a record. Besides having a really great ear, he’s a really smart and kind and funny person to hang out with. He helped us shape the record into what it is.”

Photo by Shawn Brackbill

The group recorded at an isolated studio in Bridgeport, Connecticut.

“It’s like a house with a recording studio,” Pryor says of the space.

“But it’s good to have studios that are isolated like that. You’re not distracted at all. It’s literally the only thing you can work on.”

One album highlight, “Lou Barlow,” references the indie rock musician who’s had a successful solo

The band even includes a scraggylooking Barlow in the song’s funny music video. In the video, Barlow struggles to talk his way into a Get Up Kids show, arguing with a doorman that since one of the songs on the album is named after him, he should be able to attend the sold-out gig.

“I never met him until we did the video shoot,” Pryor says of Barlow.

THE GET UP KIDS, HEMBREE, SONTALK 8:30 P.M. THURSDAY, DEC. 12 THE GROG SHOP, 2785 EUCLID HEIGHTS BLVD., CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, 216-321-5588 TICKETS: $23 ADV, $26 DOS, GROGSHOP.GS

career and played with Dinosaur Jr. and Sebadoh.

“It’s not really about Lou Barlow,” says Pryor when asked about the tune. “He’s just in it. It’s a stupid little thing I made up. Once you put Lou Barlow in a song, you can’t really take him out. It’s like Chekov’s Lou Barlow. Once you introduce Lou Barlow, it has to pay off in the third act.”

“I wasn’t expecting him to be as cool as he was. Everyone said he was a curmudgeon, and I thought we could bond over being curmudgeons. He was really nice and giving. As he says in the press release, he acted the shit out of the part.”

The piano-based ballad “Common Ground” provides a pleasant change of pace and represents another album highlight.

“That song started as this riff that I had, and we just built the song in our practice space,” says Pryor. “It’s this collection of parts that I then went back and wrote lyrics to. When we were at the studio in Connecticut, the kids from Mates of State lived two towns over. They came over to hang out.

I asked Kori [Gardner] to sing on the record. She was way into it. We asked them if they had any ideas for the song. She came up with ‘na, na, na’ part. That’s not something I would have thought of, but it’s my favorite part of the song now.”

For the live show, Pryor says the new tunes fit well with the old ones.

“From what people tell me, they like the way the new songs flow with the old songs in the set,” he says. “They’ve said that it doesn’t feel like an abrasive change of pace but feels very natural. If we maintain that, that’s a win.”

jniesel@clevescene.com scene@clevescene.com @clevelandscene t@jniesel | clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

37

KentStage =HGÍM FBLL MA>L> @K>:M LAHPL MB<D>ML HG L:E> GHP

Hot Tuna

50th Anniversary

Larry Cambell & Teresa Williams

Zach Deputy - Red Moon Tour

Tuck & Patti

Wed December 11

Fri December 13

Sat December 14

The Fixx

First Snow

Ekoostik Hookah

Thu December 19

Sat December 21

Tue December 31

Béla Fleck & Abigail Washburn

The High Kings

We Banjo 3

Mon February 3

Mon February 24

Wed March 4

Dave Mason

Carbon Leaf

Eric Johnson

Sat March 7

Sun March 8

Mon March 9

JUST ANNOUNCED! The Brubeck Brothers

Celebrate Dave Brubeck’s Centennial

APRIL 11

ikcc_j ef[d i[ii_ed THIS THURSDAY - Dec 12th

FEB 22

ALL SHOWS AT THE KENT STAGE UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED Tickets available at thekentstage.com or 877-987-6487 GMK [w cw i {{ © a{ B e~ JJHJF

38

| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

MUSIC A DIVERSE MUSICAL LINEUP The annual Cleveland Metal Holiday Show returns to the Beachland

By Jeff Niesel Photo by Matt Moser

A TERRIFIC BENEFIT CONCERT that occurs during the holiday season each year, WJCU’s 11th annual Cleveland Metal Holiday Show will take place on Saturday at the Beachland Ballroom and Tavern.

It’ll again feature some major metal talent.

The local glam metal act Priscilla, who had a commercial radio hit on WMMS back in 1989 with “Wake Up the Neighborhood” and had three songs chart on the popular heavy metal satellite radio station Z-Rock, will reunite to perform at the event.

“Amazing how quickly 30 years flies by,” says Priscilla vocalist Brad Slitt in a press release. “On Dec. 16, 1989, during one of the greatest periods for hard rock and heavy metal in this country, Priscilla made our debut to a packed house at the old Peabody’s Downunder in the Flats, and we couldn’t think of any better place than Bill Peters’ Holiday Benefit Show that we would rather perform for our 30-year reunion, almost to the day. We’re going to party like it’s 1989!”

Other bands performing include Nunslaughter, Chemikill, Olathia, Hostile Omish, Vandallus, Kurnugia, Dead Earth, Sparrowmilk, Vadiat, Dying Desolation and the Iron Maiden tribute Maiden Voyage. Chemikill and Vandallus will both celebrate their respective new releases and Vadiat, a band featuring Terror’s Brian Sekula, will make its live debut.

Chris Emig will return as the show’s MC and also perform with her band metal band Olathia.

Megadeth mascot Vic Rattlehead — a real person who lives in Parma in case you were wondering — will co-host the concert. Rattlehead, who doesn’t speak, started appearing with Megadeth in 2010. For the benefit concert’s raffle, he’s put together a framed collage of photos and a quote from Megadeth’s Dave Ellefson plus “a couple trinkets.”

He’ll share MC duties with Olathia singer Emig.

In addition, Olathia has recorded “We Are the Storm,” an original

Olathia

tune about the annual event. The single will be sold exclusively at the concert.

“The Cleveland Metal Holiday Show is entering its 11th year, and the anticipation and excitement that surrounds this event is just incredible,” says Emig. “It’s become a top metal rally that benefits worthy causes, while also promoting the music scene and giving a free night of entertainment to the fans. You’ll find the venue

year, many in person and many donating from afar, but without fail they hit it hard, and their craziness and kindness carries on to make a difference! This anthem song, ‘We Are the Storm,’ is for them and for all who feel the excitement with engines burning while thunder strikes.”

Event organizer Bill Peters says he aims to include a good crosssection of the local metal scene.

“Our charity event showcases

CLEVELAND METAL HOLIDAY SHOW 5 P.M. SATURDAY, DEC. 14 BEACHLAND BALLROOM, 15711 WATERLOO RD., 216-383-1124 TICKETS: FREE, beachlandballroom.com

packed with all ages, and huge amounts of generosity being shown with food, pet supplies and money donations for the causes. A few beer donations seem to get tossed my way through the night as well.

We wanted to write a song about the event and to thank the people who support it and who make it happen. They come together every

a diverse musical lineup of local heavy metal talent,” says Peters, host of the long-running WJCU program Metal on Metal. “I’d like to thank all the bands for donating their time to play our benefit this year.”

“Please make a difference and support the good causes of this benefit show,” adds event co-sponsor

Iron Ingo Stührenberg, a Germanybased music critic. “Enjoy a great night with rockin’ live music and meet up friends and good people who are also giving a little bit to help a lot! To say it with the wise words of Winston Churchill: We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”

Fans are asked to bring food and cash donations for the Greater Cleveland Food Bank, Friends of the Cleveland Kennel and the Alzheimer’s Association. Peters’ wife Wendy was recently diagnosed with the fatal disease for which there’s currently no cure, and Peters added the Alzheimer’s Association to the list of charities that will receive proceeds from the concert.

Last year, Cleveland metal fans donated over $4,600 and 5,500 pounds of food to three nonprofit organizations.

Doors open at 4 p.m., and the show starts at 5 p.m. Admission is free.

jniesel@clevescene.com scene@clevescene.com @clevelandscene t@jniesel | clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

39

40

| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

LIVEWIRE

all the live music you should see this week Photo Courtesy of Fantasy Records

The Marcus King Band comes to House of Blues. See: Tuesday.

WED

12/11

Dir En Grey/BYSTS: 8 p.m., $35 ADV, $38 DOS. House of Blues.

Hot Tuna: 8 p.m., $40-$50. The Kent Stage.

Mirth Stellar Regions Trio: 8 p.m., $12. Bop Stop.

Pkew Pkew Pkew/Romana/Curtail/ Tyler Nohbuddy: 8:30 p.m., $12.

Beachland Tavern.

SoundEVR Collective/Da Land Brass Band/Lauren Pray: 8:30 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Wicca Phase Springs Eternal/ Glitterer/Anxious/Creeks: 7 p.m., $16 ADV, $20 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

THU

12/12

Bonerama Plays Zeppelin/ Revolution Brass Band: 8 p.m., $20 ADV, $25 DOS. Beachland Ballroom.

Leaf Borbie & the Family Tree/ Buffalo Ryders/Daveferatu/King Buu: 8:30 p.m., $6. Happy Dog. Canterbury Arts Club EP Release/ The Morning Bird/Neilston: 8 p.m., $10. Beachland Tavern.

The Claudettes: 7 p.m., $15. Bop Stop.

The Dirty Nil/Single Mothers: 8 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

The Get Up Kids/Hembree/Sontalk: 8:30 p.m., $23 ADV, $26 DOS. Grog Shop.

Dave Koz and Friends Christmas Tour 2019: 8 p.m., $14-$179. State Theatre.

Paradox Rift Album Release: 8 p.m., $10. The Winchester.

Therapy Thursday Hosted by Braxton Taylor: 8 p.m., free.

CODA. Mariama Whyte/Hubb’s Groove: 8 p.m., $20. Nighttown.

Z 107.9 White Out Featuring Wale/ Layton Greene/Ambjaay/Ty’Bri/ Casanova: 8 p.m., $35 ADV, $40 DOS. House of Blues.

FRI

12/13

Cruel Winter Fest 6 Featuring Kosha Dillz/Sam Supreme/ Peter Blvnco/Logan/Joey James/ Spazzplot/Y.A.Y.A./CELE/Marquis Storm/PCE/Latchkey/4our Seasons/DFG SUL: 8:30 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Grog Shop.

Devil Master/Hammr/Where Angels Rot/Atomic Witch: 8 p.m., $10.

Now That’s Class.

Doobie Brothers Tribute by China Grove: 8 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Music Box Supper Club.

Goodmorning Valentine Holiday Bash with Special Guests: 9:30 p.m., free. The Winchester.

Emily Hackett: 8 p.m., $12 ADV, $14 DOS. Beachland Ballroom.

Horse Jumper of Love/Item/ Friendship: 8 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

How the Kishka Saved Christmas!: 6 p.m., free. Happy Dog. Lyfe Jennings: 9 p.m., $30 ADV, $35 DOS. House of Blues.

Lottery League Record Release Party: Local musician/artist/poet and four-time Lottery League veteran Bob Olexa, better known as Robert Darkmatter, has put together a special Lottery League reunion and record release event that will take place tonight and tomorrow night at the Happy Dog. The event will showcase bands from past Lottery Leagues. A triannual music festival, the Lottery League places local musicians at random into new bands (with the requirement that none of the

musicians have ever performed or written together before). Those bands then have two months to come up with an identity and 10 minutes worth of material. All bands perform at a “big show.”

Tonight’s event will serve as a record release party for all 2019 bands that chose to release some kind of product. Tomorrow’s event will feature a reunion of past Lottery League bands. (Jeff Niesel) 9 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Mitchell Tenpenny/Seaforth: 6:30 p.m. Agora Theatre.

Mollo Rilla/Oregon Space Trail of Doom/Hydrone: 9 p.m., $8 ADV, $10 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

TMT Trio With Jerry Birchfield: 8 p.m., $15. Bop Stop.

Jackie Warren: 10:30 p.m., free.

Nighttown.

Whiskey Daredevils: 8:30 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Beachland Tavern.

Zach Deputy/Of Good Nature/Quasi Kings: 8 p.m., $20. The Kent Stage.

SAT

12/14

11th Annual Cleveland Metal Holiday Show: 5 p.m. Beachland Ballroom. | clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

41

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SUN

12/15

12/17 | 8PM

BROKEN ORNAMENTS:

TUESDAY DECEMBER 31

AJ & the Woods (in the Supper Club): 8 p.m., $10. Music Box Supper Club.

Blue Collar Coalition/The Chewy Center/Street Side Therapy: 8 p.m., $10. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

Jim Brickman: A Northeast Ohio native, singer-pianist Jim Brickman routinely brings his Christmas tours to town in December. This year is no different. Brickman’s A Christmas Celebration comes to Playhouse Square tonight. It promises to offer “an entertaining evening of special guests, songs of the season and Jim’s catalog of hits.” Tickets start at $35.

(Niesel) 8 p.m., $10-$75. State Theatre.

The Cheats, Off Course/Cathode Pray Tubes: 9 p.m., $8 ADV, $10 DOS. The Winchester.

Hubbs Groove: Soulful Christmas: 8 p.m., $20. Bop Stop.

Josh Krajcik Holiday Show: 8 p.m., $12-$20. CODA. Lottery League Reunion Night: 9 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Monster Rally/Pablo Amor/Leroi da Moor: 8 p.m., $6. Now That’s Class.

Michael Stanley & the Resonators/Donnie Iris & the Cruisers: 7:30 p.m. MGM Northfield Park.

Tuck & Patti: 8 p.m., $30-$40. The Kent Stage.

Jackie Warren: 10:30 p.m., free.

Nighttown.

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| clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

44137 Album Release & Birthday Party for P.O.: 8 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Grog Shop.

Benefit Show for Amanda Parons with Fistula/Accept Death/ Sparrowmilk/Goosed: 9 p.m.

Now That’s Class.

Gospel Music Historical Society: 6 p.m., $15. Bop Stop.

OPUS 216 Holiday Concert (in the Supper Club): 7 p.m., $10. Music Box Supper Club.

Bill Rudman’s Christmas Cabaret: For tonight’s annual Christmas extravaganza, Bill Rudman has put together a show of more than 30 songs, blending Christmas standards and novelties. The set list draws heavily on Great American Songbook composers like Irving Berlin and George Gershwin. Expect to hear classics such as “Winter Wonderland”

and “Let It Snow,” and tributes to Rudolph, Frosty and Mr. Grinch. Yep, you can bring the grandparents to this gig. (Niesel) 7 p.m., $35. Nighttown.

The Slaps/Youth Pallet/The Rosies: 8:30 p.m., $10. Beachland Tavern.

MON

12/16

Oregon Space Trail Of Jazz: 9 p.m., free. The Winchester.

Roots of American Music Presents Bluegrass Jam: 7:30 p.m., free. Beachland Ballroom.

Bill Rudman’s Christmas Cabaret: This is the second of two nights for this annual Christmas extravaganza at Nighttown, and artist director Bill Rudman (educator, producer, and founder of The Musical Theater Project) has put together a show of more than 30 songs, blending Christmas standards and novelties. The set list draws heavily on Great American Songbook composers like Irving Berlin and George Gershwin.

Expect to hear classics along with tributes to Rudolph, Frosty and Mr. Grinch at this all-ages concert. (Niesel) 7 p.m., $35.

Nighttown.

TUE

12/17

Lou Armagno & Sinatra Selects: 7 p.m., $15. Nighttown.

Broken Ornaments: 8 p.m., $12.

Bop Stop.

The Marcus King Band: A fourthgeneration musician, singerguitarist Marcus King comes to town tonight in advance of his forthcoming record, El Dorado, produced by the Black Keys’ Dan Auerbach. The single, “Wildflowers & Wine,” shows off King’s naturally bluesy voice, which pairs nicely with a bit of old-school organ and a gentle piano riff. “The Well,” on the other hand, features the kind of grunge-y guitar riffs and hoarse vocals for which the Black Keys are known. Expect to hear a mix of both types of tunes at tonight’s show. (Niesel) 8 p.m., $25 ADV, $30 DOS. House of Blues.

Too Bad: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class.

We Finished Last/Antimatter (in the Locker Room): 8 p.m., $10.

Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene

BAND OF THE WEEK CANTERBURY ARTS CLUB

By Jeff Niesel

Photo courtesy of Canterbury Arts Club

BREAKING NEWS. HOT OFFTHE INTERNET PRESS.

Only at clevescene.com SCENE

MEET THE BAND: James Douglas (guitar, vocals), Brandon Lichtinger (guitar), Rob Carter (bass), Mark Bradbourne (drums) OBSESSED WITH MUSIC FROM AN EARLY AGE: Local singer-songwriter James

Douglas started playing guitar when he was only 5. “I then started writing songs when I was 9, and I haven’t stopped,” he says. Douglas played in a band in high school and performed solo too before moving to Columbus several years ago.

After he moved back to Cleveland in April of 2017, he was randomly looking at the Reddit page about local music when he came across a post from a drummer looking to play in a new band. The drummer mentioned the ’90s alternative rock band Jellyfish and that caught Douglas’ attention. The two started jamming together and after a few false starts, the drummer, Mark Bradbourne, reached out to his friend Rob Carter to join them on the bass guitar. Brandon Lichtinger, who had played bass in Douglas’ high school band, rounds out the quartet. “The band came together in a really roundabout way, but they’re all really talented musicians,” says Douglas of his bandmates. “I think that’s part of why I hadn’t played in a band for so long. I was sick of playing with people who either weren’t very committed or weren’t very good at their instruments.”

A PROPER STUDIO EXPERIENCE: Douglas says the guys didn’t want to go the home studio route for their album, so they went to Lava

Room in Beachwood to cut their forthcoming EP. “We wound up at Lava Room and even knowing how expensive it was, we just did it,” he says. “We spent a shitload of money to record four songs, but it sounds great. Mike Pfaff was the engineer.

He had great ideas and was almost like a fifth member.”

WHERE YOU CAN HEAR THEM :

facebook.com/CanterburyArtsClub.

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SAVAGE LOVE KINK MONSTERS

by Dan Savage

My husband and I (straight male/ bi female couple) have been married 15 years. We are in our early 40s.

When we met, he was inexperienced and crippled by shame from having grown up in an extremely sex-negative atmosphere. I have no hang-ups about sex and was happy to get him involved in some more adventurous stuff — but he quickly became obsessed with kink and shows no sign of slowing. I’m happy to play along with fantasies and role-play, bondage, domination, foot play, anal sex/pegging, going to events, having moresomes, etc.

But sometimes I’d like to have gentle and slow “unadorned” sex with an attentive partner who calls me by name, compliments me, and does things to my body he knows I enjoy. My husband has been seeing a therapist for some years.

We also went to this therapist for couples therapy, and he gave us some “exercises” to try to tone down my husband’s desire for perfectly scripted kink “scenes” every time we have sex. But my husband was either not able or not willing to try them, and I gave up. He now basically can’t maintain an erection without either (1) a complicated script with roles and props and costumes and toys or (2) going through the motions of romantic sex as long as I keep up a constant stream of “in-character” dirty talk, which makes it impossible for me to be in the moment. I’ve urged him to go see a dominatrix or to get more involved in the local kink scene without me — but he’s obsessed with this imagined moment where I suddenly “awaken” and fully join him in his obsessions. I find this condescending and stupid.

Just because I can enjoy kink play now and then doesn’t mean I’ll ever be someone who gasps with excitement at a woman on a leash being peed on or someone dangling from the ceiling by the clamps on their nipples. It doesn’t shock me or disgust me, it just kind of bores me. It feels like watching someone fill their kitchen with every gaudy, expensive, chrome radish peeler and strawberry diddler when they can’t even boil an egg. Is there a trick to reducing your partner’s dependence

on kink? Or a way to make kink more interesting to yourself?

— Bored By Obsessive Kinkster You must feel like you created a kink monster. But you didn’t!

I mean, you did meet this inexperienced, sexually repressed guy, BBOK, and you did encourage him to let go of the shame, and you did give him permission to be a little more sexually adventurous … and 15 years later, you’re stuck with this selfish asshole who’s so obsessed and/or dependent on his kinks that you’ve come to dread having sex with him. But your husband was always the elaborately twisted kinkster he is now; he just needed someone to give him permission to admit to being who he always was — or to get in touch with who he always was — and that person was you.

And now here you are, BBOK, writing to me in the hopes that I can magically cause your husband to become less dependent on his kinks or can magically “awaken” in you a similarly obsessive interest in the exact same suite of kinks he has. And we both know neither is going to happen, because you’re not going to get kinkier (which is what he wants) and you’ve already tried to get him to rein in his kinks (and that didn’t work). That’s what the couples counseling was about, right? Him learning to be a little less selfish and a little more GGG and a better partner … and the selfish sack of shit couldn’t be bothered, could he?

Both of your proposed fixes are basically pipe dreams, as I suspect you know, BBOK, and I further suspect you’re not really interested in either one. Because what you really want is right here: “Sometimes I’d like to have gentle and slow ‘unadorned’ sex with an attentive partner who calls me by name, compliments me, and does things to my body he knows I enjoy.” (Emphasis mine.)

I don’t think it’s an accident that you wrote about wanting “an attentive partner” to call you by your name and do all sorts of vanilla things to your body that he knows you enjoy. I don’t think

it’s an accident that you didn’t use “loving husband” in that sentence, BBOK, because deep down you know your husband isn’t interested in doing those things. And he won’t be any good at doing those things. And even if he could fake an interest in doing those things for 20 minutes — which apparently he can’t — you probably wouldn’t be able to enjoy his half-hearted attempts at vanilla sex, because knowing he had to concentrate on BDSM sex the whole time — knowing some script was playing out in his head — would make it impossible for you to be in (and enjoy) the moment.

You want to have loving, tender, connected sex with someone who cares about you. You want to have sex with someone who isn’t asking you to be someone you’re not each and every time you have sex with him (or her). And the obvious fix here, the easiest work-around, the reasonable accommodation … well, it’s obvious, isn’t it? You need to have sex with someone else, BBOK, with someone who cares about you.

Basically, you need to take your own advice, the advice you’ve been giving your husband, and go find yourself a play partner or two — for vanilla sex, not kinky sex. If you can find someone who can give you the kind of simple, passionate, connected sex you no longer get in your marriage, perhaps you’ll come to resent your husband less and your desire for kinky sex with him will rebound.

*** I started seeing a man four weeks ago who keeps telling me he can’t sleep with me, or can’t sleep with me yet, because of some all-consuming fetish that he can’t (or doesn’t want to) do with me. He also has sexual issues due to having survived testicular cancer and no longer having testicles.

As a bisexual woman, I don’t have an issue with that and am happy to have non-penis sex. But even that is not forthcoming, because he always tells me his fixation on this fetish is interfering, while remaining totally incoherent about what the fetish is

and why he can’t do it with me. No one is required to sleep with me, but it’s upsetting to go to bed with him and then, after he plays along for a little while, have to listen to him tell me another totally incoherent version of whatever his fucking problem is. I value this person for the other parts of our relationship, but I’m getting fed up. I don’t see how we’ll ever get along in bed if I’m just trying to have fun while he’s being as tormented, confusing, and complicated as possible. Should I just walk away? Is this bullshit or not?

— Drama Is Boring Unless this ball-less mess is climbing up the fire escape and slipping into your bedroom uninvited — which I’m guessing you would’ve mentioned — he keeps turning up in your bedroom because you keep inviting him. Stop that, DIB. Tell him you’re happy to keep seeing him, if you enjoy his company that much, but you’re not “seeing” him anymore, which means he’s not welcome in your bedroom. So there’s no need for him to bring up his fetish or any other sexual issues with you.

As a general rule, a person really shouldn’t mention the fact that they have a kink or fetish to a new partner unless they’re ready to share what it is. You don’t have to be ready to act on it — lots of people have fetishes and/or kinks they enjoy as fantasy-only or are ready to share but want to take the doing a little slower. But telling someone you have a kink/fetish that’s so all-consuming you can’t be sexual unless it’s a part of the action and then refusing to name the kink/fetish and then adding that you wouldn’t want to do it with the person … well, that’s not just bullshit, DIB, it’s disqualifying assholery and some truly next-level negging. Don’t walk away, run.

On the Lovecast: Lock him up! All about chastity cages: savagelovecast.com.

mail@savagelove.net t@fakedansavage | clevescene.com | December 11 - 17, 2019

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