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| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

CONTENTS MAY 19-JUNE 1, 2021 • VOL. 51 NO 35

Upfront .......................................5 Feature ..................................... 10 Film .......................................... 16

Arts .......................................... 18 Eat ............................................20 Savage Love .............................. 26

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| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

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UPFRONT WITHOUT BERNIE MORENO, “BLOCKLAND” IS ON LIFE SUPPORT THROUGH MUCH OF 2018, “Blockland Cleveland” was the talk of the town. Car dealer turned tech evangelist Bernie Moreno launched the initiative with the goal of making Northeast Ohio the “epicenter for all things blockchain.” Whether it was his chartered private jet to Toronto, his willingness to devote personal resources to the cause or his unrelenting advocacy on social media, he managed to mobilize what felt like the entirety of Cleveland’s public and private leadership into promoting blockchain as a viable economic renaissance strategy. The momentum wasn’t entirely a mirage, either. The Blockland group, with its constituent “nodes,” included at one time more than 1,500 members, many of whom attended regular planning meetings and nodular brainstorms and soforth. There were two iterations of a “Solutions” conference at the Huntington Convention Center downtown, which sought to explore Blockchain’s real-world applications and to hype Cleveland as a destination for tech companies. These were generally well-received. But after more than a year of Covid, the abandonment of blockchain tech by prominent local start-ups and Moreno’s new political adventure, the larger movement is all but dead. Moreno formally launched his campaign for the United States Senate in recent weeks and delegated to another participant the administration of the Blockland Facebook group, where volunteers and tech-curious Clevelanders still share events and blockchain-adjacent news. Moreno told Scene that he made the decision to pass the Blockland torch for much the same reasons that he resigned from his board seats at MetroHealth and the Greater Cleveland Partnership: to focus on his campaign and to spare the organizations from spatter associated with the 2022 Republican primary bloodbath. In a statement to the Blockland group, he said the decision was about politics. “Given my decision to jump into the public office,” he wrote, “I do not want to let our BlockLand community be tarnished by the divisiveness and vitriol that

Photo by Emanuel Wallace

permeates our current political environment.” But without Moreno’s influence, the online Blockland group quickly lost focus and descended into petty squabbling. It didn’t help that the new administrator, JT Thomas, changed the group’s name from “Blockland Cleveland” to “Blockland TV Cleveland” soon after he took the reins, a move that few understood or agreed with. “Please share what TV stands for in this context,” one user wrote. “Techno Venture/Technology Vision?” To the dismay of many, TV simply meant TV — television. Thomas indicated that Blockland Cleveland was going to expand into TV production, among other things. He envisioned local TV programming with a focus on tech.

(Thomas declined to comment for this article but said he might have some information to share about the direction of the group in the near future.) Naturally, a number of the group’s active participants were alarmed. Steven Santamaria, a tech executive in the region who cochaired Blockland’s original “thought leadership” node, wrote in a comment in one of the many ensuing arguments that he believed the Blockland vision as it existed in its early stages is now dead. “Yes there are crypto companies, blockchain-based companies and users of bitcoin. But a Northeast Ohio effort to create an economy, to attract blockchain companies to move here, to revamp education ... to create a workforce, to create a knowledgeable economic

environment to fund entrepreneurs, etc., is pretty much done.” At a Blockland meeting in 2o18, Santamaria was quoted in this publication as saying that in 10 years, “everything’s going to be blockchain.” And on Facebook, he said he was still bullish on the technology and hopeful that there will be individual success stories in Ohio, “but creating a regional center of excellence that exports blockchain solutions vs. consuming them is unfortunately unrealistic. Momentum was lost. Opportunity passed.” Blockland had already contracted considerably from its original 10node structure. In 2019, Moreno gave a presentation to Cuyahoga County Council in which he unveiled “Blockland 2.0.” The group was ceding much of its | clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

UPFRONT organizational capacity to a new Innovation coalition, the Cleveland Innovation Project, that included The Cleveland Foundation, the Fund for our Economic Future, the Greater Cleveland Partnership, Team NEO and JumpStart. To avoid redundancy, Blockland would henceforth focus on only three things: the “City Block” revamp of Tower City, the annual Solutions conference, and “engagement,” which Moreno interpreted as community building through the Facebook page and events. At the time, the City Block project was reported to be a done deal. It would open, Moreno told Cuyahoga County Council, as early as 2020. But when Scene spoke with Moreno last week, the plan now appears to be much less stable, and it’s contingent on Bedrock Real Estate. “It’s still something I would love to see happen,” Moreno said. “But Bedrock’s a big organization with a new CEO. My impression is that they buy into the vision — a center for entrepreneurship in Cleveland’s Grand Central Station, for lack of a better analogy, where minority entrepreneurs have an equal shot — but they’re asking, is Tower City the best location for that vision? I obviously think it is, but I don’t own it, I don’t control it. I’m just trying to convince them, and to show them that the community is behind it.” As for the Solutions Conference, Moreno admitted that Covid killed the momentum. “Hopefully, somebody takes that on,” he said. Destination Cleveland, the region’s tourism and visitors’ bureau, did much of the legwork for the first conference. Back then, the organization’s president, David Gilbert, was co-chair of Blockland’s “thought leadership” node, alongside Steven Santamaria. But Destination Cleveland told Scene that they have not been involved with Blockland since before the start of the pandemic, and Gilbert is no longer a node co-chair. “We can’t speak to future iterations of the Solutions conference as our efforts were concentrated heavily in the year one event,” Emily Lauer, Destination Cleveland’s Communications Director, wrote in an email. “The conference’s future and that of the effort overall are questions best asked of the individuals who have taken over

leadership of the effort with Bernie’s step away.” As for community engagement, the jury’s still out. The Facebook group was always somewhat factionalized between those who worked in the technology space and those who merely thought Blockland was a neat idea, and it’s unclear if the group’s most active participants will still be interested in organizing themselves for future tech-related endeavors and promotions. Moreno said the Facebook group was a challenge to moderate because the conversation often got filtered through so many voices and perspectives. But he said he hopes that soon, members of the group can meet in person to hash out its future. “It’s easy to throw stones,” Moreno said. “It’s much harder to be constructive and come up with solutions. What I’ve always wanted is that Blockland would be a grassroots organization that brings solutions forward.” The elements of the original vision that were transferred to the Cleveland Innovation Project in 2019 have mutated considerably. At the Greater Cleveland Partnership’s annual meeting last year, the Project unveiled its vision. It would focus on advocating for universal broadband access and investing in technology and talent in the areas of smart manufacturing, health innovation and water technology. Elsewhere, civic leaders and the media are gushing over the radical region-defining potential of quantum computing. No less than the editorial board of Cleveland.com and the Plain Dealer said IBM’s announced quantum computer would put Cleveland “on the map” in big data and bioscience research. Here in Blockland, it seems, blockchain is already forgotten. -Sam Allard

RTA Revamps Network to Offer Higher Frequency on Popular Routes When RTA launches its system redesign next month, twice as many people in Cuyahoga County will live within one half mile of a high-frequency transit route, (i.e. a bus or train that arrives every 15 minutes or better). More than 50,000 additional jobs will also be accessible via these high-frequency routes. The redesigned network, dubbed “Next Gen RTA,” is the result of a planning process that began in late 2018 with the assistance of transit consultant Jarrett Walker. Riders and community members

| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

were asked to contribute feedback through online surveys and public meetings. Walker’s method asked riders to help design an improved system that prioritized either greater frequency or greater coverage. The idea was that with finite resources, a transit agency like RTA can’t afford to do both. It can cover a wider geographical area with lower frequency routes, or a more limited area with higher frequency routes. Naturally, riders wanted both. The feedback demonstrated that riders were interested in “a balanced map,” but favored higher frequency slightly, especially when other routes were nearby. “So what we’ve done is concentrated service on the streets that have more riders,” said RTA’s Director of Service Management, Joel Freilich. “We’re pumping resources from streets with fewer riders, but never emptying a community of transit.” Respondents said that traveling to work, school and medical care were their most important trips they took via transit, and Freilich said that routes were enhanced with those priorities in mind. In some cases, routes were lengthened and/or reconfigured to travel to job and retail hubs. Two Next Gen routes — the new #25 and the #18 — both now service Steelyard Commons, for example, a job and retail center that had been largely isolated from the existing transit network, serviced infrequently by the #81 through Tremont. In other cases, popular routes that already went to major job centers and other key destinations were enhanced with higher frequency. Both the #22 on Lorain Avenue on the West side and the #10 on E. 105th Street on the East Side will both arrive every 15 minutes or better on weekdays through the evening rush hour. “The chief benefit is time,” said Freilich. “In order to accomplish these objectives — to attend that class, to get that medical care, to work that job — riders need to ask themselves, ‘How early do I need to leave home? How long will it take me to get back?’ The main determinant of how quickly you’ll be home is not whether, when you get to your home neighborhood, you walk five minutes or 10. It’s the bus outside that grocery store, that medical facility or that job. How frequently is it running? Next Gen RTA offers a significant improvement.” Cuts had to be made in order to accommodate this higher frequency service. In addition to stops on certain existing routes

being eliminated, a few Park-n-Ride direct buses from the suburbs have been cut, along with most of the free trolley circulators downtown. A modified “B-Line” trolley, with service along the rectangle demarcated by W. 9th, Superior, E. 12th and Lakeside, will be the only trolley moving forward. Chris Stocking, of the grassroots transit advocacy group Clevelanders for Public Transit, said most members of CPT were pleased with the way the redesigned map turned out. “We think the redistribution of resources to high-frequency neighborhood bus routes is a pretty good net benefit,” he said. CPT would have liked to have seen a bit more outreach to riders on buses and at bus stops — meeting riders where they are — but Stocking said that Jarrett Walker’s process was a crucial step in improving the local transit map after years of cuts. “What we’d like to be talking about is an expanded funding concept,” Stocking said. “RTA could increase the number of people who live near a high-frequency route by 250%, but that’s gonna take a lot more funding. And it wouldn’t have made sense to pour new money into the existing network, after years and years of cutting ends off routes. The redesign isn’t perfect — there have to be tradeoffs — but there’s going to be more frequent service for more people, and that’s good.” To promote the launch of Next Gen RTA, all transit travel will be free during the first week of operation, from June 13 through June 19. You can explore the new routes at the Next Gen site’s interactive map. -Sam Allard

City Council Agrees, in Theory, on Public Comment, but Continues to Delay Cleveland City Council agreed in principle last week that a public comment period should be permitted at evening council meetings. Though council did not vote to introduce an ordinance to that effect, Council President Kevin Kelley said council staff would now begin drafting a rule change with the expectation that council will hold a vote within “a reasonable amount of time.” Given the delays and cankicking on the popular issue up to this point, it’s impossible to guess what “reasonable” may here connote. And given the tenor of the conversation, it looks likely that the resulting rule change will differ in important ways from the legislation

| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

Photo by Sam Allard

proposed by the citywide activist coalition Clevelanders for Public Comment, drafted by resident Jessica Trivisonno. There was no discussion, in fact, on whether or not to codify public comment as a law in the city charter, which would require an ordinance (and which a majority of council members have already agreed to co-sponsor and have asked repeatedly to be introduced.) Kelley never acknowledged that possibility. He merely weighed council’s support for public comment in the context of a rule change. Councilman Charles Slife had to chime in at one point to clarify what was going on, and said he’d personally support the ordinance route precisely because council’s oral tradition with respect to its governing rules has a tendency to be unreliable. Council also can, and frequently does, suspend its rules, which means public comment could be dispensed with whenever Kelley or the next council president feels like it. The meeting bristled with tension just below the surface, despite the fact that public comment was ostensibly supported by everyone. It began, appropriately enough, with public comment from Jessica Trivisonno and Nora Kelley, representing Clevelanders for Public Comment. They recapped the proposed ordinance, which calls for

a 30-minute regular public speaking period at council’s Monday meetings and committee hearings. Nora Kelley pointed out that CPC had been doing the heavy lifting — building public support, conducting research into best practices, coordinating a City Club forum — while council leadership ignored the group’s outreach for months. Trivisonno said that even if council opted to pursue a rule change instead of an ordinance, CPC’s priority was that the procedure be made clear. She noted that her difficulty signing up to speak for the meeting was illustrative of the problems with the current system. She was a practicing lawyer who is familiar with speaking before public bodies, she said, but even she couldn’t be sure if she’d done things properly. (She and Nora Kelley received Zoom links the morning of the meeting and confirmation that they’d be allowed to speak. Public comment remains at the discretion of the committee chair, in the current system.) A vocal minority of councilpeople continued to voice opposition to the proposal, though they purported to be in favor of increased engagement in theory. Councilman Anthony Brancatelli, for example, defended the existing mechanisms for public comment at committee hearings and the value

| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

of interfacing with constituents in casual, ward-based settings. Councilman Blaine Griffin gave a speech about equity and said he worried that without intentional “officiating,” public comment could be dominated by privileged residents who “descend” upon council to shine recurring lights on pet issues. Griffin has long been council’s concern-troll-in-chief on the public comment issue. Not for nothing, but the legislation proposed by CPC includes safeguards to promote equity. Residents can only comment once per calendar month, for example. Sign-up forms must be available online and in hard copies. It is designed to make the process straightforward and transparent for everybody, which is in marked contrast to the current system, where only the most deeply engaged and persistent residents win the opportunity to speak at committees. The rule change under consideration contains two key departures from the CPC proposal. For one thing, it only concerns itself with Monday evening meetings. CPC wants to institute the same procedure at committee meetings as well. For another, the council rule change would only allow residents to speak about items on the agenda for that meeting. That’s a distinction that

councilwoman Jenny Spencer questioned. Isn’t there value, she wondered, in having a forum for residents to speak on whatever topic they’d like to speak about? Moreover, Spencer said, most residents don’t know how to access council agendas. Most of her colleagues disagreed, and said that keeping residents on topic would enhance the “flow” of the meeting and lessen the burden on council staff. Speaking with Scene after the meeting, Nora Kelley said that restricting public comment to agenda items only threatened to make the rule change “public comment in name only.” “It doesn’t allow residents to raise important, thorny issues facing the city,” she said. “Lead is the perfect example. If residents had been able to attend meetings and comment on that for years, think of how much sooner there would have been legislation.” The point is that lead poisoning was not on council’s agenda. Only though citizen engagement and persistent public pressure can residents put these issues and gnarly philosophical questions on council’s radar. Kelley said that Kevin Kelley had successfully turned the question of a straightforward policy change that virtually everyone supports into “an arcane procedural debate [about an

FEATURE UPFRONT ordinance versus a rule change].” She said that CPC’s focus was ensure that whatever route council took, a public comment period is instituted in both name and substance. -Sam Allard

Name Recognition, or Lack Thereof, Could be Big Factor in Cleveland Mayoral Primary Dennis Kucinich has not formally declared his candidacy for Cleveland mayor. He is nevertheless the candidate with whom locals are most familiar, a recent poll by BaldwinWallace University found. Seventyeight percent of residents polled were either “very familiar” or “somewhat familiar” with the former mayor, longtime congressman and two-time presidential candidate. And Kucinich was the only candidate with whom a majority of those polled were “very familiar.” Others, like nonprofit executive Justin Bibb and West Side attorney Ross DiBello, are first-time candidates and are hardly known by the general public. Only 5% and 3% respectively, said they were “very familiar” with them. The BW poll, the results of which were first reported by cleveland. com, was not of likely voters but of the electorate at large. It’s true that Cleveland’s off-year municipal elections are plagued by extremely low turnout and that voters have been reduced to apathy by years of poor leadership, but candidates will have to increase their publicity and shoe-leather campaigning if they intend to broaden their existing bases of support and command one of the top two spots in the September election and make it to the November runoff. Ward 7 Councilman Basheer Jones, who officially announced his candidacy in an event Thursday afternoon, fared well in the poll. Twenty-seven percent of voters said they were very familiar with him and another 27% expressed some familiarity. He trailed only Kucinich and former councilman Zack Reed in overall name recognition. City Council President Kevin Kelley, surprisingly, remains largely obscure to the vast majority of Clevelanders despite his high profile. Only 16% of voters said they were very familiar with him. Ditto State Rep. Sandra Williams, who formally launched her campaign for Mayor

earlier this week. Only 13% of those polled were “very familiar” with her. Mayor Frank Jackson recently announced that he will not be seeking a fifth. The 2021 race can now be expected to heat up. – Sam Allard

Hourly Workers Are Left Behind in COVID-19 Vaccination Push, Cleveland Researcher Says In Woodland Hills, an east Cleveland neighborhood, about 15% of the population has been vaccinated against COVID-19, compared to about 41% statewide. More than 81% of workers in the neighborhood work parttime, seasonal or low wage (below $35,0000 annually) jobs. After comparing vaccine uptake data in Cuyahoga County with the percentage of the population in lowwage, seasonal or part-time jobs, Kate Warren, a research fellow at Cleveland-based think tank Center for Community Solutions, said a strong correlation exists between the employment structure and vaccination coverage. “People who are low wage and hourly workers are hesitant to get the vaccine because of their inability to miss work,” she said. “That’s a piece of the puzzle for them. The community needs to respond to that in order to make sure people have access to the vaccine and we can continue to get things under control with the coronavirus.” The rate of Ohioans starting the COVID-19 vaccination process has plunged since early-April. About 41% of state residents have received at least one dose, according to data from the Ohio Department of Health. Now, health officials are stepping away from things like mass-vaccination sites and trying to figure out how to get more doses out to the unvaccinated population, possibly in a decentralized fashion. Warren paired county-level vaccination data with American Community Survey data from the U.S. Census Bureau for her analysis, slated for public release this month. She said the data points to a need for solutions for people who are worried about vaccine side effects that could force them to take time off they can’t afford, or that their employer doesn’t offer. “It’s a hesitancy issue but it’s also an access issue. If you can’t miss a day of work, that’s a reason you cannot access a vaccine,” she said. An estimated 635,000 Ohioans will “probably not” and another 1.1

“People who are low wage and hourly workers are hesitant to get the vaccine because of their inability to miss work. The community needs to respond to that in order to make sure people have access to the vaccine and we can continue to get things under control with the coronavirus.”

million will “definitely not” take the COVID-19 vaccine, according to findings released Wednesday from the U.S. Census Bureau’s Household Pulse Survey. Most respondents listed possible side effects as their reason for not receiving a vaccine. Backing up her data, Warren cited a project from Cleveland Documenters, a civic journalism project, that interviewed 40 friends, family members, neighbors and residents from Cleveland to gauge their attitudes on pandemic issues. Many of them mentioned workrelated pressures steering them away from vaccination. “I think I will get sick,” said Anita Smith, 51, a teacher. “And I cannot afford to get sick, especially on purpose.” Warren said employers and providers should understand these forces disincentivizing vaccination among employees and change the dynamic. One solution: The American Rescue Plan, passed by Congressional Democrats this year and signed by President Joe Biden, offers a tax credit for small and medium sized businesses to fully offset the cost of paid leave for employees to get vaccinated. “Vaccine hesitancy is complicated. It has to do a lot with values and ideas, and also convenience,” Warren said. “There are so many factors that go into someone deciding, yes, I’m going to get the vaccine, or no, I’m not. I do think there’s something compelling here about low wage and hourly work, and vaccination rates.” - Jake Zuckerman

Cleveland Clinic: 99.75% of Hospitalized Covid Patients in Ohio This Year Were Unvaccinated In unsurprising science news this week, the Cleveland Clinic found that 99.75% of patients hospitalized with Covid since January of this year were either not vaccinated or had not gotten both of their shots.

As coronavirus stats continue to dip, the news is especially refreshing, showing that the vaccine works to prevent serious infections, and will hopefully continue to show those who have chosen to not yet receive the vaccine that it works and that the alternative remains dangerous. The study of the general public in Ohio mirrors, almost exactly, the numbers the Clinic found amongst its own staff for coronavirus infections. Of some 47,000 Clinic employees, more than 70% of whom had reported being vaccinated, 99.7% of infections were in people who were not vaccinated or fully vaccinated. Get your shot. – Vince Grzegorek

DIGIT WIDGET $5 million Amount that will be disbursed to vaccinated adult Ohioans who register in the state’s “Vax a Million” lottery, beginning May 26. A $1 million winner will be selected each Wednesday for five consecutive weeks to promote vaccination.

5% Percentage of Ohioans without internet access.

2 miles Length of the Redline Greenway, the new paved bike and pedestrian trail between W. 53rd Street and the Cuyahoga River that formally opened last week.

$6.6 million The Redline Greenway’s cost of construction, overseen by the Cleveland Metroparks. | clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

FEATURE THE CLEVELAND COVID REDEMPTION SUMMER BUCKET LIST By Scene Staff

EVEN BEFORE OHIO GOV. Mike DeWine announced that almost all Covid-related health orders would be rescinded come June 2, there were still plenty of reasons to look forward to a summer that would, hopefully, bear little resemblance to the socially distanced summer of 2020 as the pandemic raged. But the good news from the Governor’s office, along with widely available vaccines and plummeting coronavirus stats, was a welcome boost that made the sun feel just a bit warmer, the air just a bit sweeter. While everything won’t return quite to absolute normal yet, and while precautions – namely, getting your jab – are still advised, the summer of 2021 is poised to be a months-long redemption opportunity for Clevelanders who spent last year in camping chairs in driveways or backyards instead of at the ballpark or their favorite restaurant or really anywhere at all. Which is all to say there is understandable pent-up energy and an open calendar and it’d be a shame to let either go to waste. In the interest of making sure you don’t miss out on any essential outings, we’re here for you with a handy bucketlist of activities you should conquer in the coming months, because if the last year has taught us anything, it’s not to take a summer for granted. 1. Hit a New Patio While you were quarantining and getting all your favorite dine-out options delivered, a whole slew of exciting new patios opened up, and nothing quite defines summer in Cleveland more than dining and drinking al fresco. The next time the pals want to grab a beer or dinner be sure to hit up one of the many new additions, including Saucy Brew Work’s Vibe Garden, All Saints, Mojo World Eats, Sixth City Sailor’s Club, the Lakewood Truck Park, Avo

Kayaking on the Cuyahoga.

Modern Mexican, 17 River, The Last Page or The Fat Tomato. 2. Go Watch the Cleveland Baseball Team The corner of Carnegie and Ontario was eerily quite last year as the abbreviated MLB season went on without fans packing the Corner with Char Dogs and beer-can pyramids. You might have heard that Lindor fella moved on to New York but rest assured he’s still not hitting and your mighty Cleveland baseball

| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

Photo by Kayak41North/IG

team has assembled a competitive roster with some spare nickels and dimes. Plus, that Jose guy is still pretty damn good. 3. Catch the Orchestra at Blossom Seeing the world-renowned Cleveland Orchestra at its summer home at Blossom has probably been something you’ve always meant to do but have never got around to. Maybe classical music isn’t really your thing. Maybe the social

calendar has always had more pressing engagements. Whatever the excuse, you’ve been missing out and this year is the one you’ll finally make your way down to Cuyahoga Falls with a packed picnic, a bottle of wine, a blanket and a couple of lawn chairs for some music under the stars on the lawn of one of the best outdoor venues around. With 11 shows covering the heavy hitters like Beethoven and Mozart to an evening of Hollywood soundtrack classics, there’s something for everyone.

you can find the perfect Instagramworthy shot at one of Ohio’s lengthy list of offbeat roadside attractions such as the world’s largest basket, the world’s largest washboard, or the world’s largest pair of drumsticks.

Go Ape Zip Line and Treetop Adventure.

4. Visit a State Park, or 12 Instead of or in addition to your regular stops in the Metroparks, pack up the car and hit one of Ohio’s 83 state parks. With gorgeous scenery and a wide variety of activities – camping, hiking, biking, swimming, boating, bird-watching – the Buckeye state’s impressive roster of parks will give you a chance to scope out other parts of Ohio’s natural landscape and each one is an easily doable weekend destination. 5. Make It an Island Weekend Mentioning Put-in-Bay may bring on fever dreams of sweaty bachelor parties and raucous pool parties but there’s plenty more to the islands than budget tall boys and sunburns. Whether you make it a one-day excursion or rent a cottage, the Lake Erie scenery and historic sites offer plenty for the casual weekend including winery tours, the Perry memorial, Perry’s Cave, fishing charters and more. 6. Check Out the Redline Greenway Cleveland’s newest gem just opened and the two-mile trail connecting the Zone Recreation Center and the West bank of the Cuyahoga is already one of the most popular routes in the Metroparks. The western portion of the trail abuts I-90, but once you get past the exchanges at W. 44th and W. 41st, you descend into a scenic, shaded ride along the train tracks. The whole thing is safe, clean and beautifully landscaped and with Ohio City at one end and Detroit-Shoreway on the other, there’s no shortage of places to stop for a bite or a brew as

Courtesy Cleveland Metroparks

you enjoy your afternoon. 7. Get On the Water It’s never been easier to get out on the Cuyahoga or Lake Erie. Want to rent a boat? You can do that in the Flats. Want to kayak the river? Check. Want to try your hand at stand-up paddleboarding? Options abound. Want to have someone else man the boat while you enjoy the scenery? The Nautica Queen and Goodtime III are there for you. Want to bring the bar experience to the water? Cleveland Tiki Barge is there for you. The point being that no matter your comfort level or how little or how much you want to actively participate in navigating the waters, there’s an option for you. 8. Take a Tour of Cleveland City tours might be reserved in your mind for out-of-town travels but don’t sleep on getting to know your hometown better than you already do. The Funny Bus just launched as the newest option to get a guided tour of Cleveland, this one with a wrinkle that should be obvious from its name: Tours are led by local comedians. Interested in food? Taste Cleveland and AsiaTown food tours will show you parts of the culinary scene you might not know. Into history? The Cleveland Historical Society has 34 unique tours ready and waiting. Take a Hike tours will give you a walking trip through downtown Cleveland. Never been to the Federal Reserve Bank? There’s a tour there too. Oh, and don’t forget Lolly the Trolley.

9. Hit the Drive-In Movie Theater Last year’s drive-in resurgence was driven by the simple fact that other movie theaters were closed and drive-ins offered one of the few safe entertainment options around. Ticket sales hit records and, thankfully, a whole new generation experienced the joy of rolling down the windows and taking in a flick under the stars. But just because regular cinemas are open doesn’t mean it’s time to sink into a luxury chair bathed in air conditioning. The drive-in is still where it’s at. Aut-O-Rama this year will offer not only new releases but also fan favorites and cult classics from years past. Discover, or rediscover, what the magic is all about. 10. Check Out the New Animals at the Zoo While the zoo’s annual special events – the winter lights display, the Asian lanterns – have packed them in, chances are it’s been awhile since you went simply to take in the wonder of our animal pals. The Cleveland Metroparks Zoo has some new ones this year, including a bearcat and Malayan tiger cub. Cute animals aren’t just for the kiddos. 11.Visit a Small Town or Roadside Attraction Whether you’ve got just a few hours to spare, a whole day, or a weekend, there’s an interesting destination waiting just down the road in Ohio. And small-town flavor and quaint attractions are the perfect remedy to your usual weekend routine. When’s the last time you popped by Athens, or Wooster, or Ashtabula, or Oberlin or Marblehead? And all along the way

12. Visit an Ohio Winery Ohio’s largest wine region straddles the Grand River just south of Lake Erie, and there’s been a pleasant string of progress and growth in recent years. Recently, anchor destinations like Ferrante, Debonné and Harpersfield have been joined by forward-looking wineries like M Cellars, Laurentia and Kosicek, where the focus continues to shift away from sweet native grapes to classic European varietals. But it isn’t just the grape scene that is enjoying steady change as more and more new dining, drinking, lodging and even eco-friendly recreational activities all continue to come online. If your familiarity with the region starts and stops with Geneva-onthe-Lake or South River Vineyard, there’s plenty for you discover on your next road trip. 13. Go to the Show As health orders are rescinded and bands start hitting the road, the doors to beloved local venues like the Grog Shop, Beachland and Mahall’s are opening once again for fans who were starved of live music for more than a year. Among the industries that were hit hardest during the pandemic, the music scene is also among the last to get gears rolling again and boy would they love to see your smiling face. So take stock of the calendars and be sure to take the sage advice that you should always go to the show. 14. Support the Smaller Local Arts Playhouse Square’s curtain is rising, the Cleveland Museum of Art is open, the Rock Hall is welcoming visitors. But you knew that. What you probably haven’t thought about in a while is seeing a show at Cleveland Public Theatre or Karamu House or Dobama. While virtual events went on during the past year in-person shows did not, which devastated operating budgets. As the local companies unveil their schedules for later this year, be sure to support the organizations that have long-delivered high-quality live theater to Cleveland at a time when they need your support the most. 15. Lace Up Those Sneakers for a 5K There’s precious little joy in a virtual race, but that’s all the last | clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

CLEVELAND oCTOB E R 8 -1 4, 201 8

THIS WEEK! | CLEVELANDTACOWEEK.COM

| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

Saucy’s Vibe Garden.

FEATURE year afforded Cleveland’s runners, amateur and otherwise. No undie run. No pierogi dash. No marathon. No Christmas Story 5k. No post-run brunches and no post-race beverages. Thankfully, those days of virtual races are mostly over. Just in the coming month runners can look forward to the Towpath Twilight race and the Saucy Beer Mile, with more dotting the summer calendar at points north, east, south and west. It’s all in good fun, which is the point, but you probably have some pandemic pounds to burn off as well, if we’re being honest. 16. Ride the Coasters at Cedar Point America’s Roller Coast remains a premium destination for thrill seekers the world over and it’s easy to forget this Sandusky gem is just down the road. Perennially ranked as one of the world’s best amusement parks, Cedar Point is celebrating 150 years of heart-pounding fun on the shores of Lake Erie. 17. Zip on a Zip Line For Clevelanders who like their thrills a bit more tame than a roller coaster, zip lining offers not only some action adventure but tree-top views to boot and options abound. Try the Metroparks’ Go Ape zip lines in the Mill Stream Run Reservation, Lake Erie Canopy Tours in Genevaon-the-Lake, Mohican Adventures, Tree Frog Canopy Adventures in Glenmont or Common Ground in

Courtesy Saucy Brew Works

Oberlin with views of the Vermillion River Valley. 18. Try a New Restaurant If you haven’t been following along with Cleveland restaurant news from dining editor Doug Trattner in the last year, well, first, shame on you. But second, you might not realize just how many new gems debuted during a year when there was mostly bad news for the culinary scene. Home Bistro in Little Italy is an instant gem, The Last Page at Pinecrest is a refreshing supper-club experience amid a sea of fast-casual openings, Kindred Spirit filled the former Sawyer’s space at Van Aken, and more. It’s been a rough year, and you’ve had your fill of take-out. Get out and try something new. 19. Volunteer Of the many lessons of the past year one should be front of mind going forward: We need each other, and we need each other badly. There’s still plenty of need in Northeast Ohio and, beyond donations, this summer should be spent lending a hand to those still struggling. Pick an organization, pick a pet project, and spend a few weekends making someone’s life just a bit easier. 20. Nothing Social calendars are getting quickly filled now that the weather is nice and jabs have gone into arms. It can be supremely overwhelming, especially after a year with little social contact. Do nothing. It’s great.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene | clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

Come experience the tastiest food fight and only Mac and Cheese Festival in Cleveland! The Mac ‘n’ Cheese Throwdown celebrates numerous Cleveland food trucks while acting as a fundraiser for W.A.G.S. 4 Kids!

clevescene.com SUN DAY, J U N E 6T H $2 T I C K ETS 11 A.M. - 7 P.M. CU YA H O GA C O U N T Y FA I R GR O U N DS MAC N C H EES E TH R OW DOW N.C O M | clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

FILM ROCK AND A HARD PLACE Spiral expands the Saw universe

FANS OF THE TORTURE-PORN horror franchise Saw will no doubt be confused to hear that Spiral, the latest installment, has opened in theaters. Isn’t it May? Each of the eight prior Saw films debuted on the Friday before Halloween, and from 2004-2010, they arrived like clockwork each year, almost ritualistically, constructing with each new episode the flimsy mythology of Jigsaw, the franchise’s twisted serial killer. The plots of these autumn gorefests became increasingly incidental to the “games” at their heart, gruesome traps that Jigsaw and his apprentices compelled their victims to play on pain of death. Jigsaw always interpreted these as teaching moments. If, and only if, you had the chutzpah to gouge out your own eye, for example, to retrieve a key that had been surgically stashed there, and then use that key to unlock a timed explosive device strapped to your head, could you walk away with a renewed appreciation for life. Jigsaw purported to hate murder throughout the early films. He saw himself (and was portrayed!) as more of a philosopher, a born-again preacher animated by his own brush with death. He just wanted to get folks to live their lives to the fullest and so forth. A total crock, naturally. But to reiterate: The whole point of the films – the chief draw for both fans and tourists – were the “games,” generally precipitated by a cassette tape recording or TV instructional video, narrated by a red-eyed clown laying out the rules of play. The low-rent ensemble casts and campy scripts were not bugs but features, guaranteeing that the focus remained on the parade of outlandish deaths. Spiral, which purports to be “from the book of Saw,” is the franchise’s second spinoff, and it retains key elements and personnel from earlier efforts. It’s directed by Darren Lee Bousman, who directed Saws II, III and IV; and written by Josh Stolberg and Peter Goldfinger, who wrote Jigsaw, the first spinoff in 2017. But there are key differences:

Photo courtesy Lionsgate

By Sam Allard

A-lister appeal, for one. Chris Rock stars. He’s evidently a big fan of the franchise, and he produced the film as a personal opportunity to “get into horror” and punched up the script with some stand-up material. Samuel L. Jackson and Max Minghella play supporting roles and make Spiral the most star-studded Saw film since the debut, which starred Danny Glover, Monica Potter, Princess Bride’s Cary Elwes, and a couple of dudes who would soon be more recognizable for their roles on LOST, quickly becoming a smash hit on ABC. In Spiral, a Jigsaw copycat is wreaking havoc on the police department. As in all prior films, the locale is unnamed. Though filmed in Toronto, the cops are housed in the ‘South Metropolitan’ police station. (Lol at modifying the generic “Metropolitan” with the more specific “South.”) Lead detective Zeke Banks, (Rock), must track down the killer as more and more of his colleagues are offed. But Banks is a pariah on the force. His father (Jackson) had been a decorated police chief, but Banks ratted out his partner years ago and has been “looking over his shoulder” ever since. Banks might even agree with the copycat killer in theory – the police are corrupt, and desperately in need of cleansing – but he’s disgusted by the methods. He’s an outcast on the force, sure, but he’s still a cop. And some of the victims are his friends. Not every apple is a bad apple, right? Spiral, incidentally, is the first Saw film that feels like it takes place in an actual city, not exclusively

| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

the abandoned warehouses, derelict properties, and poop-spattered bathrooms where Jigsaw built his traps. Several scenes even transpire during daylight hours. Banks begrudgingly takes on a rookie partner (Minghella) early in the film, and together, they try to piece together clues from the killer as they arrive. It’s a standard police procedural, formula-wise. Of the several cop “traps,” only three, including a grisly opening scene, play out in real time. Others are mercifully shown in bits and pieces via flashback. As in previous films, the traps often invite some head scratching on mechanical and logistical fronts. (Earlier films tried to explain away the complexities by retroactively inventing a posse of Jigsaw disciples, who helped ensnare victims and set up the elaborate games.) Here, the killer’s schedule, budget and technical know-how are all better left unscrutinized. The more difficult questions to ignore are about the premise: the killing of cops. The film was conceived, written, and filmed long before the murder of George Floyd and the ensuing summer of protests — it was originally scheduled to be released in May of last year — but a serial killer taking down a local police force in retaliation for a specific strain of misconduct (killing Black people without accountability) might have been a ballsy conceit, alive with real-world tension. There was an attempt at social resonance back in Saw VI, when the main victim was a medical insurance executive whose company

had systematically denied coverage to sick clients. Was watching him mutilate himself and kill his colleagues in horrific ways meant to be cathartic at a time (the fraught early years of Obamacare) when the evils of the insurance industry were being exposed? Here, the “corruption” and “abuse” of which the cops are guilty couldn’t be more old-school if they tried: lying on the stand, planting evidence, roughing up witnesses. It might as well be the 1970s. And there’s no indication that Banks himself, though portrayed as a renegade, is much better than the rest of them. He reported his former partner to internal affairs for an egregious incident, but he’s still pleased as punch to beat a local drug dealer silly when trying to get information in the copycat case. Banks and his father are of course Black men, but race — and indeed, race in the context of systemic police misconduct — is off limits. That’s probably for the best. The prospect of “woke Saw” discourse on social media is even more terrifying than death at Jigsaw’s hands. But the film’s failure to depict a credible contemporary police department plagued by credible contemporary problems reflects the franchise’s inability to dream up anything beyond cardboard cutouts of characters and motivations. Saw is still just about blood and guts. And those are origins that maybe need not be transcended.

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SAVE THE DATE! JULY 12-18TH, 2021 PRESENTED BY:

BURGERWEEKCLEVELAND.COM | FOLLOW US Interested in participating? Contact events@clevescene.com or call 216.505.8199 | clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

ART OUR PLANET, OUR PROBLEM

Environmental artist Jeff Schofield addresses climate change with “Seasonal Adjustments” exhibition at KINK Contemporary

STRATEGICALLY SCHEDULED between Earth Day on April 22nd and World Environment Day on June 5th, Jeff Schofield’s “Seasonal Adjustments” opened on May 8th at KINK Contemporary. This environmental art exhibition, which includes performance, video, sculpture and installation art, will run through June 5th. With “Seasonal Adjustments,” the Pontiac, Michigan-based artist presents environmentally themed artworks he created over the past four years. In addition to being an artist, Schofield worked for decades as a sustainable architect specializing in solar designs and clean technology. He has several sustainable design credentials, including LEED AP (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design, Accredited Professional). “The biggest impacts from climate change occur on a seasonal basis,” explains Schofield. “Hurricanes form in the summertime. Flooding occurs during the spring thaw of snow mass in remote landscapes. Wildfires blaze throughout the summer and autumn. These climatic seasons are growing longer every year as global warming increases. Humanity must adapt to these self-imposed changes and adjust our lifestyles to have a habitable future planet.” With the piece “Toys and Trinkets,” Schofield submerges a somewhat discarded, plastic hodgepodge of items such as kids toys, Nalgene bottles, aerosol cans and storage bins in concrete in tubes, which harden to form a pedestal. The cardboard is removed and discarded and the items are arranged on the ground in a circular pattern in a chromatic way as to reflect the spectrum of the color wheel. This is the same enticing spectrum of bright colors which advertising companies use to stimulate our minds into purchasing these disposable polymers. The unfortunate reality being, however, that these playful gimcrack gewgaws will be around for another 1000 years, long after our attention span and use for them has expired.

Jeff Schofield, “Toys and Trinkets.” Photo by Shawn Mishak

By Shawn Mishak

“I’m really just saying, that this is the mass production we’re buying into,” says Schofield. “This is what’s creating the pollution. This is the stuff that we waste because I picked it up off of the beach, off of the sidewalk in my neighborhood. It’s beautiful—all of the lovely plastic colors, it’s shiny and bright and happy, but it’s all waste as a matter of fact.” In another piece, he incorporates debris recovered from Cleveland’s urban cityscape and some from a cleanup day at Edgewater Beach. He uses a wide range of materials in his work — manmade found objects like the plastics listed above and natural materials such as burnt tree trunks, salvaged barn wood and native plants. He has been pursuing residencies across the country to confront the crises facing our natural world while incorporating materials locally to further immerse the viewer. In this show, Schofield also presents a portion of his thesis project for his MFA from Cranbrook

| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

with a piece called “Family Tree.” The work was architecturally gridded and he meticulously hung human hair to reflect the bio-diversity in the human race, including hair from men and women of different backgrounds, different races and representing people from the LGBTQ+ community. His work is a focused, aggressive, evocative and dramatic portrayal of our impact on the Earth, with one aspect of the show being performative: In the piece “Four Degrees or More,” Schofield uses mason jars, some filled with organic materials and some with manmade, and places them on a board which lay atop a tilting fulcrum. As he sets the jars on the board it begins to tip, as a metaphor for the tipping of the balance of the environmental scales in nature. As he places more and more jars across either side of the board, the tension heightens until the tipping point is reached and the jars come crashing down, breaking and sometimes spilling their contents across the gallery floor.

It is a dramatic representation of what might happen if, environmentally, we reach the ‘point of no return,’ which some scientists believe is if our planet’s temperature raises by four degrees or more, hence the title of the performance. “Humanity has a complicated relationship with nature,” says Schofield. “Our activities involve overproduction, mass consumption, pollution and waste, among other things. While we transgress upon natural cycles, nature also retaliates with weather events, wildfires, famines, extinctions and other unintended consequences. Humans also transgress upon our own constructed sites, altering the development of towns and cities, which in turn creates conflicts among ourselves as well as with nature. As an artist I try to express the complexities and contradictions inherent in these absurdities of contemporary life.”

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| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

EAT BAY’S PIECE OF THE PIE

Chatty’s Pizzeria is already a big hit on the west side HEARING NOTHING BUT GREAT things about Chatty’s Pizzeria in Bay Village, the restaurant was added to my dinner dance card along with a handful of other exciting new arrivals. But I also was cognizant of the fact that the restaurant is tiny, perpetually mobbed and first-come, first-served, factors that make a food writer who lives on the opposite side of town tremble with anxiety. How does a seasoned diner counter those impediments? By waiting two and a half months to visit, doing so on a weeknight, and arriving after the suburban early birds have returned to their nests. If you expect a 20-year alum of Michael Symon Restaurants to go the fine-dining route when finally striking out on his own, you haven’t been paying attention. The smart money these days is on small, lean, nimble and affordable places, preferably ones with plenty of outdoor seating. That describes Chatty’s Pizzeria to a T. After playing a part in every major food revolution and evolution of the past 20-plus years, Matt “Chatty” Harlan knows what the majority of current diners demand. While there will always be a market for lavish fine-dining places, the bulk of the action is taking place at family-friendly eateries where meals progress with speedy efficiency and interactions with staff are kept to a minimum. Since opening in early March, Harlan estimates his pizza-making pace to be around 700 pies per week, a staggering volume given the Lilliputian size of the kitchen and dining room. To keep up with the relentless demand from dine-in and take-out customers, the chef recently added a third deck oven. To alleviate kitchen back-ups or all-out disasters, he limits take-out orders during peak dining hours, a practice that annoys generations of customers who grew up demanding “30 minutes or less.” At Chatty’s, the name of the game is streamlined and uncomplicated. Diners have a choice of two main pizza styles, a handful of salads, a few choice apps and a trio of hoagies. Astute observers will notice plenty of cross-utilization of ingredients,

Photo by Doug Trattner

By Douglas Trattner

which keeps food inventory and costs in check. For example, guests can enjoy an appetizer portion of meatballs, a hearty meatball hoagie and a build-your-own pizza topped with meatballs. The appetizer version

bruschetta with fresh tomatoes. For the main course we tacked on a few more pies. The delicious New York-style sausage and rapini ($14) featured the pitch-perfect pairing of slightly bitter broccoli rabe with

CHATTY’S PIZZERIA 28611 LAKE RD., BAY VILLAGE 440-471-4485 CHATTYSPIZZERIA.COM

($9) features five large oven-roasted meatballs that are tender, well seasoned, sauced with marinara and dusted with Parmesan and fresh basil. When a place is this far and this busy, my typical move is to place an order for an appetizer pizza almost as soon as we sit down. It’s best to go with something on the lighter side and that meant clam pie ($15). This thin, crisp white pizza comes topped with a ton of briny-sweet chopped clams, which are paired with mozzarella, plenty of garlic, fresh arugula and pops of lemon. Other starters include a simple meat and cheese board and ricotta pesto-topped

| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

sweet ground sausage. To that the kitchen adds garlic, mozzarella and red pepper flakes. In contrast to the round, flat pies, Harlan’s Grandmastyle pizza is appropriately tall, airy and satisfying. We ordered ours with tomato sauce, mozzarella, fresh basil and burrata, but they can be customized from a list of toppings. Each is available in just one size: 13inch, 8-slice round for the New York and 13-inch, 6-slice rectangle on the Grandma. The table enjoyed an excellent Caesar salad ($9) that was large enough for all four of us to share. Other salads on the menu include an antipasto with Italian meats, cheeses,

veggies and vinaigrette and a burrata-topped arugula and tomato. For a neighborhood pizzeria, Chatty’s has a surprisingly wellstocked cellar. The user-friendly wine list has white, pink, sparkling and red wines by the glass and bottle. Those are joined by a selection of craft beers and even a handful of cocktails. On warm nights, diners enjoy those beverages – along with their meals – on the front patio and beyond. True to his nickname, the owner pops by to chat with each and every table, his enthusiasm impossible to contain. Harlan was lucky to snag one of the best locations in Bay Village. The space, long home to Vento la Trattoria, sits across the street from Huntington Beach. While the restaurant has been dinner-only, the owner recently added weekend days and will soon extend the hours to include weekday lunches, which will be great news for hungry beachgoers.

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner

| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

customer base.” “Whether owners are unsure of dangers or they don’t care, if there’s dining inside, you’re eating and drinking without a mask. And as far as confrontations, that is absolutely the case. I marched up to a guest and gave him a mask, and he called back 15 minutes after he left and yelled at me,” said Rosa. “And, some local owners don’t believe [Covid] is a problem.” Now, all participants in the segment said, would be an ideal time to reevaluate the idea of tipped work and sub-minimum wage, which create a two-tiered system of labor and which dates back to post-Civil War Reconstruction. “There are a whole host of problems that come from this, and it’s unique to America,” said Mike Shields of Policy Matters Ohio. “And it traces to slavery, and it’s deeply racialized. It’s really an example of one way we undervalue work, certain types of work, and because of the ways that we undervalue the people who are doing that work. We need to leave the practice behind.” Cleveland Bar and Restaurant Owners React to DeWine’s Decision to Retire Covid Health Orders With New Questions on Capacity, Masks Last week, Gov. Mike DeWine announced that on June 2, all remaining coronavirus health orders as they apply to bars and restaurants will expire. That means come that Wednesday morning, all requirements regarding social distancing, mask wearing, customer capacity and standing around will be gone and owners and operators will be free to operate their businesses as they see fit. According to DeWine, “Each Ohio citizen will make their own decision about wearing a mask, social distancing, how to protect themselves and when, for them, those actions are appropriate.” Predictably, bar owners and operators are approaching this bombshell of a development cautiously. Among those we spoke to, there seems to be a consensus that diners should not expect to see immediate and sweeping changes on that day or soon thereafter. “We’ve taken things in baby steps the entire way and we’ve been more cautious than a lot of other places,” says Shane Vidovic of Proper Pig in Lakewood. “It was a big transition going from just carry-out to being open again and this will be an even bigger transition. We’re not sure what everybody’s comfort level is because it’s all brand new.” The big issues that owners now must contend with are whether or

not to require employees to continue wearing masks, whether or not to require customers to continue wearing masks while moving around the room, whether to toss the dividers into the bin and whether or not to increase customer capacity. “As I understand it, it is now up to us to decide,” says Gabe Zeller, owner of Char in Rocky River and Avo in Ohio City. “Our staff will still continue to wear masks for the foreseeable future. It’s not like I can require my staff to get vaccinated, so I don’t know if they are or are not. So for the customers’ comfort and the comfort of [my wife and business partner] Julie and I, we’re going to keep them at least through summer and maybe even winter.” As for distancing, dividers and capacity, Zeller says that the arrival of patio season takes some of the pressure off with regards to those issues. “With more patio seating here, I feel like we can keep the bar dividers and distancing,” he adds. Slow and steady appears to be the watchword at Red Steakhouses downtown and at Pinecrest. Owner Gregg Levy says that being a fine-dining establishment means maintaining a certain level of restraint when it comes to relaxing safety protocols. “We’re fine dining and we still need to deliver service, so it’s not going to be a wild, wild west freefor-all once everything goes,” he explains. “Lucky for us we have big spaces and have been able to spread out indoors and we intend to keep it that way. Maybe outdoors we can get a little tighter, maybe squeeze in a few more diners in a safe and protected way – maybe five feet spacing instead of six.” As for those now-familiar plexiglass dividers, Levy says that they will remain behind the bar at the ready for customers who request them. The most complicated question plaguing owners seems to revolve around mask wearing for customers. While they can continue requiring it of their staff, most say they do not feel comfortable requiring it of their customers. And now that the State no longer requires it, that fall guy is gone. “It puts pressure on us because if we decide to enforce the mask, we can’t blame it on the governor,” says Levy. Zeller echoes that sentiment. “It puts us in a bad situation,” he says. “Either we don’t care or we’re a-holes for enforcing rules that aren’t there anymore. I don’t feel like I can force customers to do that. It’s definitely

| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

an odd situation to be in. It’s not something I ever thought I’d have to tackle.” Zeller says that visitors to his and his wife’s establishments will likely see signs that encourage masks for non-vaccinated patrons. Things grow even more complicated when it comes to live music venues. Sean Watterson says that Happy Dog in Detroit Shoreway, which has been closed since March of 2020, will reopen for business in the coming weeks. And when it does, Happy Dog and other venues like the Grog Shop will be following a reopening checklist put out by the National Independent Venue Association. Titled “Safe in Sound,” the checklist offers guidance on matters such as mask wearing, social distancing, air circulation and even equipment handling. The suggestions are meant to mitigate as much risk as possible to prevent outbreaks and future shutdowns, says Watterson. “It’s one thing to have a flare-up in a normal restaurant setting, but because bands are going from club to club, if there’s a flare-up, the livemusic industry will be the first one to shut back down,” he says.

Preview: Heart of Gold, Opening Next Month in Former Plum Space in Ohio City After being closed for the better part of 2020, the Plum in Ohio City was laid to rest earlier this year. Owner Jonah Oryszak announced then that the space would reopen as Heart of Gold (4133 Lorain Ave.), a more casual neighborhood bar and kitchen. That is scheduled to happen on Monday, June 14. Oryszak says that his primary objective was to open a completely new restaurant that looked and operated differently from the Plum, but that still produced “thoughtfully composed inventive food and drinks.” “We didn’t want it to feel like the Plum just with a different colorway,” he explains. “And we didn’t want it to feel like we shoehorned a different concept into the same space. But at the same time we had a lot of expensive, handcrafted finishes that were done by our friends.” Remaining fixtures and finishes are the shimmering white-tile backdrops, custom-made tables and chairs and pink banquette. Gone is the wild wallpaper, bright flooring and color neutrality. Added is a mural painted by artist Jason Look, refinished hardwood floors that add warmth to the space and plenty of

dark dusty-blue accents. “I think we did a lot of things right the first time around, where a lot of things are neutral so it would always be easy to swap out things and change the space without having to completely change everything,” Oryszak says. The executive chef is Adam Bauer, who has worked at Moxie, Red, Trentina, Greenhouse Tavern and Sawyer’s. “We’re trying to ride the line between being fast-casual but pushing the flavors and keeping things hyper-seasonal,” he says. “We will keep the core menu items small so we can do as many seasonal specials as possible.” The menu will feature an approachable roster of salads, green bowls, burgers, sandwiches and entrees like Hungarian-style braised bacon with Ohio corn spoonbread. “We want to make it a price point that’s affordable, so we can have return customers once or twice a week hopefully,” the chef adds. “There’s nothing over $16.” Guests will experience a much more casual environment, one where they seat themselves, order food and drinks at the counter and even pick up their own food from the kitchen. The restaurant will be first come, first served, employ no servers and will offer online ordering for easy pick-up. The goal, explains Oryszak, is to eliminate as much overhead as possible, to keep prices down, to push wages up and encourage repeat business. “What I was interested in was staffing fewer people, paying everybody a little more and setting it up in a way that we wouldn’t have to close again if another pandemic or strain happened,” he says. “By eliminating all those costs and cutting all that fat and still presenting food that will make people excited we can make the food affordable. We’re in an area of town where we can’t survive on tourist traffic; we need to be the neighborhood place where people can eat at every single day.” Heart of Gold will be open for lunch and dinner Monday through Friday and serve brunch and dinner on Saturday. “We’re trying to adapt to the new culinary landscape like anybody else,” adds chef Bauer. “I don’t think what we’re doing is 100-percent different from what you’re seeing all over the country. We’re all trying to survive in the present climate.”

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dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner | clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

SAVAGE LOVE SHAFTED By Dan Savage Hey, Dan: I’m a European heterosexual girl, and reading your column from afar has been a good way for me to better know the sex world! I’m wondering if you have advice for me about a “faster” way to do blow jobs. Or rather a way to make my boyfriend come faster from them. I like doing them, but after some time my mouth begins to hurt and I’d like him to finish. My partner is “slower” to come than other men I’ve been with. During intercourse sex, I don’t mind. I usually come first, but it’s not a problem to wait for him to finish. But during oral sex, it’s harder to wait. Sometimes I say no to giving him a blow job because I know the effort it will take. I don’t want to talk with him about this because I don’t want to make him selfconscious. I know how good it is to receive oral sex without thinking about having to rush my own orgasm, and I don’t want to make him feel rushed. In the years of our relationship, I haven’t found a trick that gives me the power to make it faster. I need some button to push. Maybe you have some tips for me? —Sex Tips Inducing Faster Finish Easing Discomfort I have some good news: There is a button. It doesn’t work on all men, sadly, but for many men a little pressure on this button can speed up an approaching orgasm considerably. While this button isn’t hard to find, STIFFED, you can’t see it with the naked eye … because it’s inside a guy’s ass. The prostate is a walnut-shaped gland that produces seminal fluid; it’s located inside and up a man’s bum. If you’re facing your boyfriend —which you would be while blowing him — his prostate is on the same side of his body that you are. Slip a finger in his ass, make a gentle “come here” motion with your finger, and you’ll be hitting that button. Keep gently pressing on his prostate as his orgasm approaches, and you should feel it harden, swell, and contract. But you’re gonna need to get your boyfriend’s consent before sticking a finger in his ass, STIFFED, which means you’re gonna have to talk to him about trying this — and I think you

should level with him about why you wanna try it. You don’t frame it as a problem (“You take too long!”), and it isn’t a problem. He has amazing stamina, right? And while that stamina is great during PIV (you always come first), it’s a challenge when you blow him. Figuring out what you can do to get him there a little faster without making him feel rushed is something you should be able to talk about. You need to be able to talk honestly with your partner about sex in general, STIFFED, and it’s particularly important that you’re able to freely give him feedback when sex is physically uncomfortable. While there’s an obvious upside for you to speeding up his orgasms during oral, e.g., less wear and tear on your face, there are two big upsides for him: You’re gonna get him there faster by making blow jobs more intensely pleasurable for him, and he’s gonna get more of those intensely pleasurable blow jobs once they’re less physically taxing for you. And if a finger in the butt is a no-go for your boyfriend (or you), STIFFED, there are some other tricks you can try. Some guys get there a little faster during oral if you cup, squeeze, or gently pull on their balls; some guys get there a little faster if you play with their nipples (or they play with their own). And you can always use your hands to speed things along, i.e., pull his dick out of your mouth, give him a few good pumps, get him closer to the finish line, and then dive back down on his dick.

Hey, Dan: My wife and I just celebrated our 34th anniversary. For the first year, it was great. We shared many intimate moments. But on her 26th birthday (33 years ago!) she got “it.” A vibrator. Ever since, I feel like I’ve been bumped down to a distant fourth in our relationship. Her priorities: family, job, “it,” then me. She thinks everything is fine and that we’re soulmates, friends, lovers, etc., but I feel like her lowest priority. I’ve read articles where women can become addicted to these devices, essentially snubbing their significant others. I know it’s complicated, but what can I do to win her back? I’ve tried romancing her, but I’m always competing with “it” for intimate attention. How many others have been replaced by “it” in their relationships? What can I do? —Vanquishing “It” Becomes Essential Quest

| clevescene.com | May 19-June 1, 2021

Stop trying to compete with “it.” Sex is not a competition, VIBEQ, and “it” is not your competitor. “It” is a tool, VIBEQ, and “it” could and should be your friend and collaborator instead of your nemesis. First, your wife isn’t broken, and her clit doesn’t have addiction issues. Your wife is most likely one of the many women out there who can only come with the help of a vibrator. Some women (and some other people with clits) need sustained deep-tissue vibrations in order to get off. Remember: Dicks and clits are made up of the same starter-pack of fetal tissues; a dick is a big clit, a clit is a small dick. But most of the clit — the “shaft” of the clit, i.e., the erectile tissues and chambers that anchor the exposed glans of the clit to the body — is internal. You probably haven’t seen many men jerk off, VIBEQ, but I have. Some men (and other people who have penises) focus all of their efforts on the heads of their cocks — working the glans — while others barely touch the head and focus most of their efforts on the shaft. Basically, there are women out there who need the “shaft” of the clitoris stimulated in order to come—not the exposed glans, but the majority of the clitoris, which is inside the body. The sensations provided by a powerful vibrator are the best and, for some women, the only way to hit their shafts with the sensations required to get them off. So my advice … after all these years … is to finally learn to love “it.” Invite your wife to incorporate “it” into your sex sessions; don’t make the mistake (or continue making the mistake) of forcing her to choose between sex with you that doesn’t get her all the way there and masturbation sessions with “it” that do. Let her use “it” on/with herself when you’re having intercourse and ask if you can use “it” on/with her when you’re not, e.g., every once in a while leave your dick out of it and focus on your wife’s pleasure. Hopefully you’ll come to see “it” as an extension of your body when “it” is in your hands and as your loyal wingman when “it” is in hers. Good luck and happy anniversary.

Hey, Dan: My son, a 15-year-old straight guy, occasionally enjoys dressing in girls’ clothing. When he was little, it was his sister’s tutus and painting his nails. These days he does it more to be funny. I have noticed, however, that once the joke is over he keeps the makeup and dress on longer and longer. This has never bothered me or his dad.

We don’t encourage or discourage it. We have never gendered things in our very liberal house (no girls/boys toys, etc.). He is a pretty open kid with friends across the spectrum of sexual and gender identities, so I don’t get the feeling he would hide it if he is struggling with gender issues. I think he just likes to wear a dress around the house sometimes. I’m wondering if we still refer to a guy dressing in women’s clothes as “cross-dressing” or is it now just “wearing a dress”? Is there a more modern term/name? Cross-dressing feels derogatory for some reason. We have no intention of trying to change his behavior, but I’d like to use the right words if he wants to talk about it. —Demonstrating Respect Exposes Sincere Support No one is more up to date on the right words than the word cops at GLAAD, which used to stand for the “Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation” and now just stands for GLAAD … because coming up with a catchy acronym that incorporated B (bisexual), T (trans), Q (queer), Q again (questioning), A (asexual), A again (ally), I (intersex), 2S (twospirited), P (pan), P again (polyamorous), K (kink), etc., etc., prompted several dozen supercomputers to threaten suicide if they weren’t immediately reassigned to bitcoin-farming duties. Anyway, DRESS, GLAAD says the term “cross-dressing” is fine: “While anyone may wear clothes associated with a different sex, the term cross-dresser is typically used to refer to men who occasionally wear clothes, makeup, and accessories culturally associated with women.” GLAAD recommends people use “cross-dressing” instead of “transvestite” and notes that most cross-dressers identify as both male and straight and “have no desire to transition and/or live full-time as women.” But your son is only 15 years old; he may be a straight male cross-dresser, DRESS, or he may be exploring his gender identity under the guise of wearing dresses for laughs. Give him time, give him space. And just as you’re keeping an open mind about your child’s gender identity, DRESS, I would encourage you to keep an open mind about his sexual orientation. My mom thought I was straight when I was 15 years old and look how that turned out.

mail@savagelove.net t@fakedansavage www.savagelovecast.com

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