Scene March 8, 2023

UPFRONT

blocks for a complete collective bargaining agreement.

“Contract negotiations are an ongoing effort,” they added, “and we still have much more to do.”

– Mark Oprea

Fox 8 Photojournalists Are Fighting for Better Pay After Years of Stagnant Wages

Working without a contract since 2017 at rates that have remained stagnant despite inflation and the parent company’s continued financial success, photojournalists at Fox 8 in the IATSE union are fighting for better wages.

“Crews were being sent out to cover Covid, homicides and chemical spills (to name a few) to bring crucial information to their community,” one told Scene. “These photojournalists want their wages to match their contributions to the station’s longterm success.”

CLEVELAND’S REI WORKERS VOTE ‘OVERWHELMINGLY’ TO UNIONIZE

TO CAP OFF A MONTHS-LONG movement toward organizing, the 37 workers at REI’s Cleveland location voted in favor of unionizing Friday evening. Their store, situated in Pinecrest, will be the third location nationwide to form a union.

Citing unfair wages and poorly structured hours, union-favoring employees filed with the Retail, Wholesale and Department Store Union on January 11. The group soon ran into expected backlash from corporate, which told the National Labor Relations Board that half of the group’s 56 workers were “ineligible” to organize.

That changed Friday. All 56, RWDSU said in a statement, were free to vote.

“Tonight, we can finally say that REI Cleveland is a union store,” Nick Heilgeist, a member of the REI Cleveland Organizing Committee and a retail sales specialist, said in a press statement Friday evening. “We green vests are united in our desire to create more transparent and consistent policies and a workplace that will be sustainable for workers for years to come.”

The election, which garnered a sizable following on and off Twitter, was publicly supported by a range of

local and state politicians, including Rep. Elliot Forhan, whose 21st district covers the Pinecrest store.

“Finally, you will be able to do what your colleagues in SoHo and Berkeley have done,” Forhan wrote in a letter to the organizers, “and what Americans have done for generations: secure a voice in the workplace.”

Along with echoing the issues with REI’s management expressed at its New York and California locations, RWDSU said they’ve also filed unfair labor practice charges for REI’s alleged union busting, including one-on-one “intimidation” of workers and “unlawful surveillance.” REI corporate denied those allegations.

For REI workers in New York’s SoHo neighborhood, the vote yes— which occurred a year ago, on March 2, 2022—seems to have led to change.

Since last June, the SoHo union has met for talks with REI 17 times. In December, the group won a $2 wage increase to $21.50/hour, and shortened the greenlight date for benefits-eligible employees from one year to three months.

“We’ve reached many tentative agreements so far,” REI Union SoHo wrote in a statement on Instagram yesterday. “These are the building

An I-480 billboard and petition site are helping to get their message out.

IATSE is negotiating with the Fox 8 management team and parent company Nexstar in Federal mediation. According to the photojournalists’ statement, the Nexstar team has been unprepared for meetings and isn’t taking their concerns seriously.

“It also seems like management hasn’t been moving as quickly in negotiations as they can, really taking their time and not getting things back in a timely manner to the union,” one of the photojournalists said, adding that the negotiating team failed to bring a proposal to a scheduled session when it was their turn to do so..

Meanwhile, Nexstar reported net revenue of $5.2 billion in the 2022 fiscal year.

“2022 was a monumental year for Nexstar as we generated $5.2 billion of revenue as well as record levels of Adjusted EBITDA and free cash flow,” Nexstar Chairman and CEO Perry Sook wrote in a quarterly report. “We returned approximately 68% of our 2022 attributable free cash flow, or a record $1.02 billion, to our shareholders in the form of share repurchases and dividends.”

Meanwhile, the group notes on a petition site that “photojournalists were only offered a 1.25% wage increase.”

“[They] have endured the worst of the worst conditions over the last two and a half years putting their lives in danger to bring the news to the public fearlessly,” the petition says.

– Maria Elena Scott

Cleveland Has Doubled Down on Collections of Unpaid City Income Taxes

The letters from the Cleveland Division of Taxation began arriving en masse late last year to those who owe back taxes, or haven’t filed at all in recent years, and haven’t stopped.

While the city continues to try and rope back suburban office workers to their former Downtown offices, the city has been amping up efforts to collect as much unpaid income tax as it can.

Since late 2022, the department has been leveraging a new ordinance, passed in October, that allows the city to seek outside help to pursue not just the tax delinquencies but a wide range of outstanding debts: parking tickets, EMS fees, court costs, etc.

As council and the Mayor’s Office chisel through hours and hours of budget debate, the city has tapped Attorney General Dave Yost’s office ramp up pressure on those who owe the city money. Meaning: Yost’s office could aid the Central Collection Agency (CCA), the agency in charge of income tax collection, in bringing the tax-delinquent to court, in both civil and criminal cases.

The extra push to collect money where money’s due has led to a minor wave of confusion from some city residents, who’ve received letters in the mail requesting payments. Some simply didn’t know they had to file a city tax form; others might have been stymied by an outdated system.

Chief Finance Officer Ahmed Abonamah, in a speech to council at February 14th’s hearing, framed such an effort with Yost’s office—along with “modernizing the tax filing system”—as a key to maximizing the General Fund.

“These are all efforts to kind of capture what has historically, or should be coming to the city,” Abonamah said to Council President Blaine Griffin, who sponsored the October ordinance. “On the other side, it’s like, ‘How are we gonna try to grow the pie?’”

The CCA’s rate for workers with a Cleveland address is 2.5%, one of the highest in the state.

Such money garnered, said CCA Administrator Kevin Preslan, flows through the agency into either the city’s General Fund or the Restricted Income Tax revenue fund.

As of February, according to the Mayor’s 2023 Budget Estimate, income tax collection makes up

Photo courtesy REI

66% of the General Fund, a majority reliance that’s been the case for the past two decades. Cleveland has one of the highest rates in the state at 2.5%.

One-ninth of income tax collection feeds the Restricted fund, which is used to source special city projects—like, say, the Progressive Field renovation—or to chip away at the city’s debt. Fines and interest feed directly into CCA’s operation.

It’s why, Preslan said, the city getting all it’s due is paramount, especially coming out of the financial curveball that was COVID-19. Though he did not specify a number, Preslan and CCA sends “thousands” of notices out to Clevelanders, a good portion of which may now work from home in the suburbs.

Which the state, he said, will help with.

“We have a significant amount of delinquencies,” Preslan told Scene. “And this is just a way to get caught up quicker, in a sense, because we have far more limited resources, and quite honestly, tools than the state has.

“They have access to more information, they have different methods that we can use,” he added. “So it’s just more effectiveness. Increasing the collection rate, I guess, is the way that, like any other bill, it’s just a way for us to basically increase that collection rate to get it to as close to 100% as possible.”

– Mark Oprea

Ohio Gets an “F” for Failing to Address Lead in School Water

Lead is toxic, and a report shows that Ohio is failing to protect kids from it.

Released by from U.S. Public Interest Research Group and Environment America Research and Policy Center, “Get the Lead Out” grades each state (and Washington, D.C.) on how they’re handling lead in drinking water in schools. Ohio is one of 27 states that earned an “F,” with a score of just 21 out of 200 possible points based on testing, lead limit in water, public disclosure, applicability of requirements and solutions.

“No safe blood lead level in children has been identified,” according to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) website. “Even low levels of lead in blood have been shown to negatively affect a child’s intelligence, ability to pay attention, and academic achievement.”

As there is no amount of lead considered safe, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends a limit for lead in drinking water of one part per billion (ppb). While some states have set their limits at five ppb, currently Ohio law recognizes 15 ppb in drinking water as hazardous to human health, well above this limit.

In the U.S. more than 24 million children are at risk of losing I.Q. points solely from low levels of lead exposure, according to the AAP.

In addition to damage to the brain, the CDC says lead exposure to children can cause problems with nervous system, development, hearing and speech, as well as slowed growth and development.

Yet Ohio has no regulatory requirements or state laws addressing lead in schools’ drinking water. The state previously used a program to test water at 14 percent of schools. However, the program ended in 2018.

The state does have free voluntary testing available to licensed childcare providers who register with the Ohio Lead Testing in Child Care Programs, though currently it’s only available in Cuyahoga, Franklin, Hamilton, and Lucas counties.

To protect kids, the report recommends using filters certified to remove lead, enacting policies to prevent the usage of plumbing that leaches lead into water, replacing all lead service lines, require frequent testing, immediately shutting off taps where tests find lead and disclosing publicly the presence

of lead in infrastructure and remediation plans.

Cleveland housing has lead problems, too. In 2019 Cleveland passed legislation requiring rental property owners to certify their units are safe from lead, but less than 10 percent of rental homes meet that requirement today. Lead Safe Auditor Robert Fischer told the City Council that Cleveland is only receiving about 1,000 certification applications quarterly, less than half of the roughly 2,500 it should.

Maria Elena Scott

Cleveland Public Library Hires First Director of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion

In the midst of its literacy-challenge drive Cleveland Reads, the Cleveland Public Library named Ashley Boyd its first director of diversity, equity and inclusion.

The hiring comes in tandem with another hire, Tiffany Graham as art director. It also comes with a test for Clevelanders to read one million books or for one million minutes. As of Thursday, according to a counter on the project’s website, 9,545 Clevelanders have read 42,365 books, tallying 438,231 minutes to boot.

“It is a privilege and honor to join such a storied institution,” Boyd said in a statement provided to Scene. “I look forward to continuing Cleveland Public Library’s mission to be a place where everyone belongs, and cultures are celebrated.”

Before her hire at the library, Boyd was a DEI administrator of the Cuyahoga County Board of Developmental Disabilities, which she worked for 18 years, garnering roles in crisis intervention and habilitation management, according to her LinkedIn profile. She has a Master’s degree in public administration from Cleveland State, along with a Diversity and Inclusion certificate from Cornell.

Boyd’s onboarding appears to come at the tail end of the library’s three-year effort to ramp up inclusion efforts among its workforce and at its 27 branches across Cleveland.

One aim is to “develop and implement programs and services that incorporate the differences that make us a community,” a 2020 document on CPL’s website details, “ensuring fair and equitable treatment with access to appropriate resources and opportunities.”

Though it’s unclear how Boyd will work with Cleveland Reads or its underlying get-your-face-in-a-

book mission, it’s apparent that the Cleveland Public Library as a whole is ramping up efforts to address the city’s deep gap in illiteracy rates.

In 2018, Seeds of Literacy, a one-on-one tutoring agency headquartered in Clark-Fulton, released an updated survey of Cleveland’s illiteracy counts as extrapolated from U.S. Census demographic data. It found that, on average, 66 percent of Clevelanders were “functionally illiterate”—which the organization defines as “having math, reading, or language skills below a fourth grade level.”

The resulting data map was staggering: several of Cleveland’s majority-Black East Side had illiteracy rates as high as 97 percent. (That compares to a rate that tops off at 25 percent on the edges of the county.) It’s a data point Seeds of Literacy defined succinctly as “sad but true.”

“My expectation would be that someone who’s focused on DEI would be focused on equitable access to library resources, especially for those who are underserved,” said Carmine Stewart, Seeds of Literacy’s vice president of programming.

Although Stewart couldn’t confirm whether the 2018 data has held true in a post-pandemic Cleveland, she stressed the importance of keeping literacy programming well-funded and in the public eye.

This July, Stewart said Seeds of Literacy will be capping off an initiative to aid persons struggling with chronic diseases, such as diabetes, comprehend stiff and technical medical language. Seeds is partnering with Case Western to design packaging that is clearer for those at an “eighth grade level.”

“If a student is looking for information on diabetes, it’s probably not going to be written above their reading level,” Stewart said.

Boyd’s hire comes nearly a month after the library’s former inclusion and leadership head, Twyla Turner, filed a lawsuit against the CPL for claims of racial discrimination, Cleveland.com reported.

The suit claimed that CPL CEO Felton Thomas and Community Engagement Director Aaron Mason warned Turner, who is Black, to “watch out” for another employee. That employee, court documents stated, “did not support diversity, equity and inclusion.”

– Mark Oprea

Is This Downtown Retail’s Moment?

As the Central Business District struggles with high rents and vacancies, Clevelanders are betting on Downtown’s promise as a residential neighborhood

By Mark Oprea

ALL CLEVELANDERS SUFFER A BURDEN OF benevolence, an endless debt to repay the city, to contribute to its never-ending narrative of redemption. You can see that in John D. Rockfeller’s Beaux Arts tower on West 9th. It’s there in Jeff and Tom Heinen, who, after some necessary nudges of confidence from city boosters, opened up their grocery store in the former Trust Building in 2015.

And you see that quality in Joe Deinhart. A 59-year-old coffee entrepreneur with 30 years under his belt, Deinhart spent most of his career cutting teeth on the wholesale end of roasted beans. If you’re a local, or simply well-traveled, you’re bound to have sipped a blend from Deinhart’s Solstice Roasters. (He ballparks about 225 clients.) “Highend restaurants, country clubs, yacht clubs, Cleveland Museum of Art, Cleveland Clinic — the Bean’s Café in Chardon,” Deinhart said. “You know the Smith’s Boat House in Troy, Ohio? They have our coffee.”

In early 2020, Deinhart found his sea change. With hotels and offices dark, the pandemic slashed 90 percent of Solstice’s business. Deinhart was also, well, somewhat bored. He felt he’d come to conquer the service industry. “When Covid hit, I actually went, ‘Okay, look. I need a whole new spiel here,” he said. Some months later, Deinhart was tipped off by a developer friend that the Peterson Nut Building on the corner of East 9th and Carnegie was up for sale. That’s when Deinhart had his moment, so to speak: With its high-profile location and iconic

sign, the Peterson Building was, and still is in the recesses of our minds, a staple of Cleveland nostalgia.

In April 2020, Deinhart signed a lease for $2,400 a month, and moved in that August. “It’s sort of the story of what’s great about this town,” Deinhart said. “I picked this building, and, to make a long story short, I thought, ‘Well, let’s go for it. Let’s open up a storefront.’

“It sounds corny as hell, and it is,” he added. “It’s kind of to give back to Downtown Cleveland.”

Deinhart’s devotion to what has long been the emblem of Cleveland — what lies below the Downtown skyline muraled ad infinitum — is shared by a growing sect of small business owners hyped up by the prospect of growing Downtown’s core. Beyond sound profit margins, businesses like Solstice are moving Downtown with the hope that they’ll catch the rising wave of the 3.2acre area’s vision as a residential neighborhood, not just a stale Central Business District marred by the pandemic.

Hopefully. Interviews with a dozen real estate brokers and Downtown advocates suggest the city’s center

is either bound to suffer a forever deadening effect from its loss of office workers, or, with those shiny new highrises, will attract enough residents to jumpstart a fresh era in retail. Maybe. Possibly. Definitely? “Real estate is an ecosystem that is reflective of our business climate,” Nate Kelly, the president of CRESCO Wakefield, told Scene. “So, right now? Retail is weak. Our office sector is weak. But surprisingly, our residential sector is strong. All three of those [have to be] firing on all cylinders. So, it’s a vicious cycle.”

In 2019, an estimated 90,800 workers came Downtown most weekdays for office jobs. The pandemic changed that, and now, as of January, just 49,940 make the daily trek, a 45 percent decrease.

Today’s retail vacancies could be a reflection of lost daytime foot traffic. According to the Downtown Cleveland Alliance, 14 percent of the 1.6 million square feet of Downtown’s retail space sits empty — 3 percent more than before the pandemic. A Scene analysis of recent data from Loopnet, the Zillow for business, found 54 total retail spaces empty, the majority of those sitting quiet below new, glass highrises and legacy buildings on Superior and Euclid. (The Superior Building, for what it’s worth, has a total of 66 vacant spaces up for grabs.)

Pandemic finger-pointing aside, Downtown Cleveland may have its own particular hurdles. According to a January recovery report from Downtown Indy, the retail sector in Indianapolis’ 28,989-person

Mile Square is 4 percent vacant; in Pittsburgh’s, which 21,526 call home, it’s 7 percent, according to the Pittsburgh Downtown Partnership. Closer to home, over in Shaker Square, some 13 percent of the neighborhood’s stores are empty, according to directors Tania Manesse and Joy Johnson.

All this data, in the mind of Audrey Gerlach, is more relevant than it once seemed. Gerlach, the Downtown Cleveland Alliance’s vice president of economic development and chief of staff, spends a lot of her workweek attempting to connect the analytical dots between what Downtown is and what it could be for prospective businesses. DCA even hired a retail specialist, Jonathan Stone, as a sort of liaison to sell the area to entrepreneurs as a place worth investing in. (Downtown’s rents are currently, on average, according to CBRE, about $14/square foot, $2 to $3 higher than the city as a whole.)

“That’s something we didn’t have to think about before the pandemic,” Gerlach said, at a meeting table on DCA’s third floor, across the street from the vacant 925 Building. “But now, every tenant is looking at, ‘Well, what’s the point of going Downtown? Nobody’s back to work.’” Her tone intensified. “Well, we have 60 percent of our office people coming back on any given day.”

Stone, who segued from DCA’s marketing department last year, doubled down on the pandemic mindset’s pull. He said he helped manage the Downtown Recovery

Response Fund, a $1.45 million pot distributed to 88 local businesses, most of whom had their shops pummeled by protestors during the George Floyd civil unrest in 2020.

But, “if a business owner is coming to us, saying, ‘We have interest in Downtown,’ that’s something we hold onto,” Stone said. “We do our best to get them here. If one space doesn’t work, we go to the next one.”

That’s precisely Deinhart’s experience. Before landing Peterson, Deinhart spent 12 years roasting beans out of a nondescript factory building on 23rd and St. Clair and looking for new digs. He had been negotiating a lease for a storefront on Ontario, yet seeing its windows bashed turned him away. He wanted a better space, specifically one that catered to the public. It was high time.

Even if books don’t end up balanced. “It’s a rule of thumb: A coffee shop costs $500 a day to run,” Deinhart, a loquacious man who apologizes frequently for talking too long, said one January afternoon as in front of Solstice’s counter. Other than the occasional truck delivery out back, or the hum of the espresso machine, Solstice is mostly quiet. “The average person who walks into

a Starbucks spends about $5.50. So the question is, after your cost of goods, your labor, your rent — can you get 100 people through the door a day?”

Deinhart looks across the barren, concrete sidewalks of Carnegie to the Hilton Garden Inn, a Solstice partner and nearby benefactor. He nodded to his roastery, and said, “If I couldn’t run that out of the back, then I wouldn’t be in this space. Because I don’t expect 100 people to come through that door.”

IN THE HISTORY OF

Downtown’s slow rebirth as a residential place to be, there has been no dream more prevalent in the collective consciousness than the one decorated in a red and white neon glow. In other words: an urban, upscale, possibly one floor or two, Target.

And it still is. In February, Scene surveyed some 345 Clevelanders on Twitter and Instagram to gauge their answer to the question, What does Downtown need? In 200 usable responses, 25 percent wanted a “cheaper” alternative to Heinen’s — an Aldi (6 percent), or, say, a Trader Joe’s (12 percent). Six percent see a jazz club like the Bop Stop or

BLU+ Jazz in Akron. Five percent, an Apple Store; and a combined 11 percent, mall-friendly apparel: H&M, Nike, Zara.

Clocking in at the top spot: Target, taking 32 percent of the votes.

According to the half-dozen brokers Scene spoke with for this story, a Downtown Target is either an urbanist’s white whale or an eventuality, as Downtown Cleveland Alliance’s projected 2,800 apartments units come into existence by 2030. The rumors, aggregated by journalist Ken Prendergast in late 2021, suggest that Target will entertain talks with the lucky Cleveland broker now that it’s set up shop in Pittsburgh (in 2022), Detroit (in its own City Club Apartments) and soon in Kansas City (which has roughly 7,000 more residents).

“We’re always reaching out to them,” Conor Coakley, a broker at CRESCO, said. “But I haven’t heard updates in a while, though.” (“It’s bullshit,” another broker, who talked only on the condition of anonymity, said. “Target is never coming here.”)

Gerlach, who was hesitant to detail talks with the retail chain, sees Target as more than a flashy brick and mortar. Like others interviewed, she views Target as a near panacea for a collection of ills: a instance of validation for Clevelanders’ inferiority complex,

a legit and affordable home goods store, and, Gerlach added, a big city-esque, validating lure for big box chains — Whole Foods? Nike? Nordstrom Rack? — eyeing Downtown for possible expansion.

“When the community tells us that they want a Target, I hear, ‘I want supplies that make it easier to live Downtown within walking distance,’” Gerlach said. “And I think Target’s the blanket solution for that.”

“We’ve talked to other businesses who’ve indicated that they trail other tenants,” Stone added. “The Targets. Walmarts. Apple Stores — those are the anchor tenants. And once we catch those big fish, then we’ll be rolling from there.”

Commenting on the rumors and speculation in a statement to Scene, a spokeswoman for Target said: “[We] work closely with local officials and guests to develop stores that complement and support a community. As Target evaluates new store opportunities, we consider a number of factors, including existing Target stores in the area and how we might be able to serve the needs of a new community with an additional location. The type of store we build is determined by factors such as anticipated sales volume, site constraints and the specific needs of a community.”

Whether validating or not, it’s

Woodrina Williams is the owner of Infinite Boutique in Tower City. MARK OPREA

possible that the 32 percent crying for Target’s attention acts as Cleveland’s 21st century harkening back to Downtown’s retail heyday, to the mid-century glam and convenience of Higbee’s or the May Company. And historically speaking, such numbers were always somehow linked to either Downtown’s booming population or the same sect that fled to its suburbs. From 1954 to 1967, retailers fell from 10,754 to 7,008 — then to 2,952 come 1987.

“Retailers clearly followed the area’s population as it moved farther away from Downtown,” an article in Cleveland Historical reads, “but they followed with varying degrees of enthusiasm.”

George Anastasakis pretty much witnessed this shift firsthand. His grandfather, Pete Anastasakis, founded Mike The Hatter in 1937 in a shop on East 55th and Woodland. (There is no “Mike” in the lineage.)

In the late 1960s, as Downtown department stores shifted their focus to wealthy suburbanites, the company moved Downtown to Prospect Ave., where they sold everything from wide brims, to fedoras, church hats and a $1,000 Stetson. (They carry, Anastasakis said, “upwards of 30,000” hats.)

In 2008, Anastasakis’ optimism was tainted. Shortly after the Horseshoe Casino moved into the Higbee, he said, Downtown rents went up 20 percent. He relocated Mike The Hatter to a strip mall in Broadview Heights for the next 12 years, until March 2020, when he and his daughter, Stephanie Travers, found a spacious spot in the 5th Street Arcades. “You know, we really don’t like to move around a lot,” Anastasakis told Scene. “We just like Downtown’s dynamic.”

Yet, just like other shop owners, Anastasakis questions retail’s viability, especially on the 5th Street, which, according to four other tenants interviewed for this article, has been lacking foot traffic since 2019. (Anji Brooks, the paper florist who founded Love, Anji, closed her nearby shop primarily because of it. So have three others.) “People used to come here on, like, a Tuesday, Wednesday,” Carlton Story, Jr., Mike’s store manager, said at the register as haberdasher Gavin Reiland steamcleaned a red church hat behind him. “Now, they work from home — and now they pretty much come here on Saturday.”

So, Anastasakis wondered, will new residents save us?

“I think it’ll be a long, slow climb,” he said. “Just because you live Downtown doesn’t mean you need a hat.”

WOODRINA WILLIAMS’ realization that she yearned to sell couture clothing began to crystallize shortly after she flew to New York in 2020 to save the lives of those stricken by the Coronavirus. A travel nurse from Hough, Williams found herself chatting with other medical personnel from around the country — some who had started salons or health food stores. “It started as a suggestion for me to open up an LLC,” Williams said, cracking a smile, “so that I could write off my taxes.”

In August, frustrated by her career as an acute nurse, Williams found herself leaning on other interests. An East Side colleague, whom Williams preferred to keep anonymous, toyed with the idea of Williams opening a clothing boutique as a second store in her chain.

“I thought, ‘I love fashion. I love clothes.’ Everywhere I go, I’m always complimented. People always ask me where I get my stuff from.” Yet Williams and the friend soon came into a rift over “logistics.” Williams sued. She was soon out $15,000.

Months later, Williams founded Infinite Boutique, and moved into a space in the former GameStop in Tower City Center, thanks both to owner Bedrock’s insistence and a deep kinship with the building. Williams often tells the story as such: When she was a teen, her father was murdered. Her mother was drug-addicted, so Williams fled home as a runaway teenager. She came to see Downtown as a necessary place of refuge. “I have to go somewhere where I could be invisible and not really noticed,” Williams said at Infinite in February. A short-haired woman

in a black brimmed hat, Williams was reorganizing pieces of chic loungewear with the help of her aunt. “And I’d look at the elegance of the stores here. ‘Oh my god, I just wish this was my life!’”

But Williams isn’t naive. She knows that the Amazons of the world have altered the market indefinitely. Actually, according to a Census study published last April, online commerce spiked 35 percent in 2020, online commerce spiked 35 percent in 2020, while brick-andmortar clothing store purchases dropped by 30 (men’s dropped 17 percent more than women’s). “It’s not the same, though,” Williams argued. “The experience of coming in here to buy clothes have helped people solve problems. They might be having a bad day.” She taps three times on the seat below her. “That’s why these chairs is here.”

The same reawakened sense of nostalgia is the bulk of the reason Jason Beudert set to open a second Geraci’s Slice Shop off Prospect. His shop in Willoughby had grown wildly, yet Beudert, who’s spent the past 20 years in Cleveland, saw tagging off the former Vincenza’s space — which had developed a legacy in the Gateway since 1993 — as a sort of narrative extension.

“Another page in the book,” he said, “of the great restaurants around here.” (That’s partially thanks to Guardians’ Manager Terry Francona, who invested “quite a bit,” though Beudert won’t say how much.)

But Beudert doesn’t want to be Vincenza’s. As this publication has previously reported, pulling back restaurant and retail hours has become Cleveland’s norm since lockdowns forced early closings. When Geraci’s opens in April, Beudert vows to change that course, and keep slices — along with cocktails and Italian ices — going until 1 or 2 o’clock in the morning.

“It’s not just for that [sports] traffic,” Beudert said. “I think there’s a need for Downtowners to have, like, a casual dinner. Maybe watch the game. Have a slice. Maybe a salad.”

And it very well could include Deinhart, too.

On that afternoon in February, as Downtown’s busiest car traffic roared by spare sidewalks outside, Deinhart continued to set up Solstice for its official public debut. He rejected the idea of a grand opening — “everyone just seems to get overwhelmed” — and preferred to spend his time and energy redesigning Solstice’s old Celtic swirl logo, reviewing final plans for its outdoor blade sign.

“Maybe one day,” Deinhart said in between sips of an espresso made by his barista, Maggie McGervey, whom he’s known since she was three, “we’ll be as famous at the Peterson sign.”

Deinhart disappeared to the roastery, where he usually spends seven minutes roasting Mexican or Honduran imports, along with those from 13 other countries, tearing open 70 kilogram bags. When he returns to the register, ready to show off Solstice’s redesigned packaging, two contractors for the Guardians are waiting, trying to decide what kind of cups they’ll lug back to Progressive Field.

“I’m glad you guys found us,” Deinhart said, seriously chipper. “Can I ask what brought you in?”

“Well, I thought, ‘We’ll try that new place,’” one of the contractors, in North Face and work boots, replied. “We figured we’d stop in. Give it a go.”

“Yeah,” the other contractor said. “We’re looking for a new coffee shop to go to.”

Deinhart smiled. “That’s good to hear,” he said. “That’s really good to hear.”

Above: Haberdashers Gavin Reiland and Carlton Story, Jr. at Mike the Hatter in the 5th Street Arcades. Joe Deinhart, right, of Solstice Roasters, just opened his first café after 30 years as a wholesaler.

MARK OPREA

GET OUT Everything to do in Cleveland for the next two weeks

WED 03/08

Shitshow Karaoke

Local rapper/promoter Dirty Jones and Scene’s own Manny Wallace host Shit Show Karaoke, a weekly event at the B-Side Liquor Lounge wherein patrons choose from “an unlimited selection of jams from hip-hop to hard rock,” and are encouraged to “be as bad as you want.” Fueled by drink and shot specials, it all goes down tonight at 10 p.m. Admission is free.

2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-932-1966, bsideliquorlounge.com.

THU 03/09

2023 MAC Tournament

Many teams in college basketball’s biggest conferences will make it to the NCAA basketball tournament whether or not they win their conference tournament. In the Mid-American Conference, teams must win the conference tournament to get selected to play at the Big Dance. At least that’s traditionally been the case. So expect the mid-sized schools from the region (Kent State, Ohio University, Akron University, etc.) who’ll duke it out at this year’s tournament to engage in some real winner-take-all battles. Today at 11 a.m., both men’s and women’s teams will play at Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse, leading up to the championship games on Saturday.

1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.

Kevin Bozeman

Comedian Kevin Bozeman likes to joke about the mundane. “I got one thing out of college,” he likes to say. “Bad credit.” His problems are everyone’s problems. He has trouble with women and issues with his finances. Expect him to touch on social issues too, as he’s made fun of the fact that there aren’t any “brothers” in auto racing. He performs tonight at 7 at Hilarities, where he has shows scheduled through Saturday. Check the Hilarities website for ticket prices.

2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.

Disney’s Aladdin

The producer of The Lion King pres-

ents this new production that, according to a press release, is “filled with unforgettable beauty, magic, comedy and breathtaking spectacle.”

Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 at Connor Palace, where performances continue through Sunday.

1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

Mozart’s Requiem

Tonight at 7:30 at Mandel Concert Hall, the Cleveland Orchestra plays Mozart’s Requiem, a piece the esteemed composer wrote on his deathbed and left unfinished. Franz Welser-Möst conducts, and performances take place through Sunday as well.

11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.

FRI 03/10

FRIDAZE with Ramon Rivas & Tania Timmons

Every week, Ramon Rivas (Comedy Central, HBO, Netflix) and Tania Timmons (Cleveland Comedy Festival) present this comedy show on Friday at Dunlap’s Corner Bar. Doors open at 7 p.m., and the comedy gets rolling at 8:30 p.m. Admis-

sion is based on a donation.

3258 W. 32nd St., 216-417-2203, dunlapsbar.com.

L. Shankar

Violinist and composer L. Shankar will perform at 7:30 tonight at the Cleveland Museum of Art. Shankar’s illustrious career includes several albums featuring guest artists such as Frank Zappa, Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, Bruce Springsteen, Van Morrison, John Waite, Stewart Copeland (The Police), Ginger Baker, Toto, Johnathon Davis (Korn), Natasha Bedingfield, Pat Monahan (Train), Randy Jackson (American Idol) and Patrick Leonard (Madonna). His work has been featured in many films including The Last Temptations of Christ, Queen of the Damned, Ali, Jennifer 8, Robin Hood and Jacobs Ladder 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.

SAT 03/11

Alonzo Kings Lines Ballet

DANCECleveland and Tri-C Performing Arts present this special program featuring the San Francisco based dance troupe. Perfor-

mances take place at 7:30 tonight and at 3 p.m. tomorrow at the Ohio Theatre.

1511 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

SUN 03/12

Dominick Farinacci & Spirit of the Groove

Spirit of the Groove, part of the JazzFest Academy at Cuyahoga Community College (Tri-C), features nine young artists from various high schools around the Cleveland area and region. As an invite-only mentorship program, the group focuses on balancing in-classroom study with on-the-band-stand experience. Trumpeter Dominick Farinacci serves as director of the Tri-C JazzFest Academy program and performs with the group. The ensemble performs tonight at 7 at Market Garden Brewery. Tickets cost $20.

1947 West 25th St., 216-621-4000, marketgardenbrewery.com.

TUE 03/14

My Fair Lady

Famous for classic songs as “I Could

L. Shankar performs at the Cleveland Museum of Art. See: Friday, March 10. | Courtesy of Mike Gormley

Have Danced All Night,” “The Rain in Spain,” “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly” and “On the Street Where You Live,” this touring production of My Fair Lady comes to E.J. Thomas Hall tonight and tomorrow night at 7:30. 198 Hill St., Akron, 330-972-7570, ejthomashall.com.

WED 03/15

Cavaliers vs. Philadelphia 76ers

Led by dominant big man Joel Embiid, the Philadelphia 76ers have one of the best records in the NBA. They’ll prove to be a formidable opponent for the Cavs when they come to Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse tonight at 7:30.

One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.

Hits! The Musical

Dionne Warwick presents this 90-minute musical that features nearly 80 iconic American tunes and plenty of costume changes. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 at the Ohio Theatre. 1501 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

FRI 03/17

Cavaliers vs. Wizards

Despite the stellar play of guard Bradley Beal, the Washington Wizards have struggled to compete this year. They come to town tonight to take on the Cavs at 7:30 at Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse.

One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.

St. Patrick’s Day Parade

The first Cleveland St. Patrick’s Day parade reportedly took place in 1867. In the early years, the parade marched through the near-westside (from the Flats to Detroit-Shoreway), where the region’s Irish immigrants were concentrated. The songs and dancing were organized by the Order of the Hibernians. Back in 1910, Ohio senator Dan Mooney introduced a bill which recognized St. Patrick’s Day in Ohio, turning the parade into a true tradition. Today’s parade launches at 1:04 p.m. at the intersection of Superior Avenue and East 18th Street and will end at Rockwell Avenue and Ontario Street. Expect downtown bars to be jammed after it’s over. The parade

route and more are on the website. st patricksdaycleveland.com.

SAT 03/18

Monsters vs. Belleville Senators

Tonight at 7, the Monsters take on the Belleville Senators in the first of two weekend games at Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse. The two teams will go at again at 3 p.m. tomorrow. One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.

Rickey Smiley and Friends

Known for his hilarious prank calls, this comedian, actor and TV host comes to MGM Northfield Park — Center Stage tonight at 8 for a show featuring some of his comedian friends.

10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330-908-7793, mgmnorthfieldpark. mgmresorts.com/en.html.

Taylor Tomlinson

Comedian Taylor Tomlinson comes to Connor Palace tonight for a series of shows in the wake of her newly debuted Netflix special, Quarter Life Crisis. Tomlinson, who finished in the Top 10 in the ninth season of NBC’s Last Comic Standing, is a regular on What Just Happened??! with Fred Savage. She began doing standup at age 16 after taking a class with her dad, and she regularly jokes about growing up in a highly religious family and practicing abstinence in high school. Tonight’s show takes place at 7 at Connor Palace. She returns to the venue tomorrow night at 7 as well. 1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

TUE 03/21

Outlab: Experiments in Improvised Music

Musicians are invited to bring instruments or any sound making device (drum kit and keyboard provided) that can be used to explore collective group improvisation. Please bring your own amps if needed. The monthly session begins at 8 p.m. at the Bop Stop. Admission is free.

2920 Detroit Ave., 216-771-6551, themusicsettlement.org.

scene@clevescene.com

t@clevelandscene

EAT A TASTE OF CHICAGO

Cleveland is craving Italian beef sandwiches, and Parma’s Au Jus is packed

by Doug Trattner

THE TIMING COULD NOT HAVE been better for partners Jakob Kelly and Tiffany Ballog, who opened Au Jus in Parma on the heels of this summer’s viral hit “The Bear” on FX. Clevelanders who had been clamoring for Chicago-style Italian beef sandwiches finally had a place to go where those drippy hoagies took center stage.

Cleveland has never been blessed with options for great Italian beef sandwiches, with the bulk of the action taking place at the deli counter of a few local Italian grocers. There clearly was pent-up demand, because Au Jus has been positively slammed since opening its doors in November, says Kelly.

“My location never stopped being busy,” he told me. “We’ve been 10 times busier than we thought it would be.”

Wedged between a Marco’s Pizza and a nail salon in a dinky Parma strip, Au Jus is a small, mainly carry-out shop with a handful of stools and an open kitchen. During my visit, every one of those halfdozen seats was occupied by a customer waiting for food while the tidy kitchen was a beehive of activity.

After seeing some pics early on, I wasn’t super optimistic about the sandwiches. But those photos had nothing in common with the beast that landed in my lap. I can’t imagine how much beef is wedged

into the “large,” given that my “regular” ($9.25) was overflowing with tender, thin-shaved beef. Order it “dipped” and it will be baptized in a font of the namesake au jus. Otherwise, sandwiches come with a large tub of the thin gravy for selfdipping. Make sure to add an order of the giardiniera ($1.10) — or better yet, the spicy-hot giardiniera.

Au Jus features a streamlined menu of “state fair-style” sausage and pepper hoagies, a few pressed sandwiches, fresh-cut fries and exceptional batter-dipped onion rings ($3.99). I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of the Cuban ($10), a compact package layered with shredded pork, ham, Swiss, pickles and mustard.

When it comes to quality, seek out the places that fly through product. Kelly says that he goes through 100 to 150 pounds of slow-roasted top round beef per day and about 12 gallons of au jus, which is made from the drippings.

“I’m going through so much product, it’s unbelievable,” he says. dtrattner@clevescene.com t

Photo by Douglas Trattner

At Au Jus, you might want to think twice before ordering the large — even the “regular” is overflowing with tender beef.

GREEK TO ME

Zina Greek Street Food brings great gyros — and more — to the Eastside

by Douglas Trattner

SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME, IF you wanted to sink your teeth into a truly exceptional gyro, you had to drive to Lakewood. Eastsiders have Demetrios Atheneos to thank for whittling that travel time down to nearly nil. In January, the chef opened Zina Greek Street Food in University Heights, which is now home to the best gyro this side of the Cuyahoga.

Located a few doors down from Chicken Ranch, his fast-casual fried chicken joint, Zina is similarly efficient, with counter-driven service and a few tables for dining or waiting. Those gyros are built atop plate-size homemade pitas that are sturdy enough to stand up to the mountain of fillings. The classic gyro ($13) is a two-fisted twist of shaved lamb meat, tomatoes, red onions and seasoned French fries. Yes, fries belong on a gyro. But wisely, the kitchen adds them sparingly so they don’t hijack the entire experience. Sauces are served on the side. The refreshing tzatziki is the natural choice, but Zina offers customers a roster of eight from which to choose.

In addition to the gyros—available in lamb or chicken—Zina packs pitas with falafel or souvlaki. The pork souvlaki ($13) features loads of grilled pork cubes alongside the customary

ZINA GREEK STREET FOOD

13898 CEDAR RD., UNIVERSITY HTS. 216-973-3334, ZINAGREEKSTREETFOOD.COM

tomatoes, red onions and fries. The meat was on the dry side, but a heavy dose of “vampire garlic sauce” did plenty to improve the situation.

Zina also offers a few salads, sides such as hummus, rice or slaw, and a daily selection of “chalkboard specials.” Recently those included fish and chips, shrimp and chips and a moussaka made with lamb and beef ragu. Diners can also “build their own bowl” by combining any of the proteins, salads/sides and sauces. Filled with spinach and feta, the spanakopita ($8) is appropriately flaky, crispy and savory, but it was served straight out of the fridge.

For dessert, the homemade baklava ($7) is the hands-down winner, a sticky million-layered treat with phyllo, nuts and honey. The loukoumades ($8), or Greek doughnut holes, arrived more dense and chewy than airy and crisp. They are drizzled with honey sauce and sprinkled with chopped nuts and cinnamon sugar.

dtrattner@clevescene.com

t@dougtrattner

Zina’s gyro comes stuffed with shaved lamb meat, tomatoes, red onions and seasoned French fries.

Photo by Douglas Trattner

BITES

Arthur Treacher’s in Garfield Heights Reopened by New Owner Who Plans More Locations in Ohio

By Douglas Trattner

WHEN BEN VITTORIA closed his Arthur Treacher’s Fish and Chips restaurant in Garfield Heights in 2021, it reduced the number of surviving locations of the chain that once had more than 820 of them to one — the Cuyahoga Falls fish-andchip shop, which he also owns.

After shutting down the Garfield Heights store, Vittoria put the real estate on the market. He quickly found a buyer in George Simon, but neither party at the time envisioned that it would ever be brought back to life as an Arthur Treacher’s.

“I bought the property with no strings attached,” says Simon. “I was looking at it just as a real estate play.”

Simon says that Vittoria invited him down to the Cuyahoga Falls location in order to wrap up the purchase agreement over a meal.

“Ben says come down and see me at Arthur Treacher’s and I’ll buy you a fish,” Simon explains. “I went down and people are taking pictures of the inside, the outside. It was like a zoo there – all while I’m sitting with the guy.”

Only then, adds Simon, did the pair begin discussing the possibility of reopening the property as an Arthur Treacher’s. For his part, Vittoria says that he was confident that Simon would honor the brand.

“When I sold the real estate, I was hesitant to relinquish anything to do with Treacher’s, but the gentleman seemed to have the wherewithal to do a good job,” says Vittoria. “He convinced me that he would rehab the property – the inside and the exterior – in a way that would do justice to Arthur Treacher’s.”

Simon, with Vittoria’s blessing, opened the Garfield Heights Arthur Treacher’s (12585 Rockside Rd.) three weeks ago, bringing the total number of freestanding locations up to two. Like the location in Cuyahoga Falls, the Garfield Heights store serves the same timehonored recipes and products that we have come to know and love from the iconic brand, which started in Columbus in 1969.

These freestanding Ohio stores

are distinguishable from the cobranded Nathan’s Famous/Arthur Treacher’s locations elsewhere that offer a limited menu of items purchased from different suppliers, Vittoria explains.

Simon says that they were so busy initially that the shop focused solely on fish and chips, chicken and chips, and hush puppies, but customers can expect to see the full lineup of battered shrimp, popcorn shrimp and clam strips soon.

The store is now open seven days a week. Simon says that the drivethru will be resurrected in the near future. What’s more, the owner has ambitious plans to expand the brand throughout Ohio.

“Anybody over 40 years old knows the name – it’s an institution,” notes Simon. “There is no learning curve here.”

First Look: Campus Pollyeyes, Opening This Week in Little Italy

If this is the first time you’re hearing about Campus Pollyeyes then you or a loved one did not attend Bowling Green State University. Since its inception in 1978, the beloved Italian eatery has been a must-eat for students, locals and alumni, who come for the salads, subs and pizzas but stay for the famous stuffed breadsticks.

Only recently did the 45-yearold brand begin to expand, with locations popping up in Findlay and Toledo. A fourth, located in Little Italy (12308 Mayfield Rd., 216-5322160), opens Monday. What do all of these locations have in common? A large base of BGSU alumni.

“When I went to Bowling Green I noticed that just about everybody in my class, and my coworkers at Campus Pollyeyes, were all from the Greater Cleveland area,” says local owner Lucas Smith. “The BGSU alumni group in Cleveland has 70,000 members.”

Smith and partner Michael Melendez began working on this project in 2021, when they secured the rights to the Cleveland

shop. Smith put himself through undergrad and grad school by working at Campus Pollyeyes. In fact, he specifically went to business school to prepare for future ownership.

While the Bowling Green restaurant is full-service, the Cleveland location is more of an “express,” with an abridged menu and fast-casual service model. The attractive space seats about 50 guests comfortably at tables, window-facing counters and soft seating areas.

Dough is made fresh daily, slow-fermented overnight and then baked into breadsticks, pizzas and calzones. Pizzas come in three varieties: thin crust, pan-style and screen-style, which is described as a thicker, round pie. Guests can build their own or select from a list of specialty pies, including “white” pizzas. Calzones come stuffed with sauce, ricotta, mozzarella and colby cheeses. The kitchen also offers a selection of subs.

Those “world famous” breadsticks come stuffed with cheese and a choice of add-ons such as sausage, ham, olives, pepperoni and a dozen others. Dipping sauces include pizza sauce, Buffalo sauce, jalapeno cheese sauce and BBQ.

The owners point out that Little Italy isn’t a college campus, but it is a hospital campus. And as such they are going after lunch business in an area with few daytime options. To start, however, Campus Pollyeyes will be dinner only, with lunches joining in a few weeks.

As for the odd name: the founding family opened Pagliai’s Pizza in Bowling Green in 1967. To distinguish the “new” eatery from

Phoenix Coffee to Open New Cafe in Lakewood’s Birdtown Neighborhood

Phoenix Coffee will make its long-awaited return to Lakewood — the city where it all began — next week. Ohio’s only employeeowned cooperative coffee company presently is setting up shop at 12501 Madison Ave. in the Birdtown neighborhood. The new cafe will be located in the former Bi-Rite property, a 100-year-old building that is being redeveloped into “The Nest” by Forest City Shuffleboard owner Jim Miketo.

Phoenix Coffee opened its first cafe in Lakewood in 1991. That shop lasted nearly 20 years before changing hands. Now, Phoenix Coffee returns to Lakewood for the first time in 13 years.

The 950-square-foot space was renovated as a historic preservation project with the original tin ceilings, according to a release. The aesthetic is described as “clean, minimal, eclectic space with warm white surfaces and sage green accents.”

Phoenix will officially open the doors on March 11th., with daily hours from 7 a.m.-3 p.m. The cafe will offer the same menu as the other cafes across town, including the full roster of espresso beverages, single-origin coffees, teas and pastries.

dtrattner@clevescene.com

the original, they called it Pollyeyes, an American riff on the Italian Pagliai’s.

Photo by Doug Trattner

MUSIC

FROM ZERO TO HERO

Singer-songwriter Mod Sun sticks up for the underdog

By Jeff Niesel

WHILE SINGER-SONGWRITER

Mod Sun doesn’t judge those musicians that surround themselves with “teams” who do their dirty work of set designs, he prefers to do things himself. Reached via Zoom one recent afternoon, Mod Sun says he’s spent the day designing the stage for the tour that brings him to the Agora on Thursday, March 9. And he›s happy to do that work on his own.

“I love doing everything myself,” he says from a rehearsal room in his Los Angeles home. “I have ProTools open and I’m creating all the songs for the set. I’m building out an interesting show that has almost theater elements in a way. It’s fun, but it’s a lot of work.”

That DIY attitude stems from Mod Sun’s youth. Raised on a heavy diet of classic rock bands such as the Doors, Bob Dylan, the Allman Brothers and the Band, he grew up on a relatively isolated Minnesota farm. He’d eventually discover punk rockers Blink 182 and indie bands such as the Starting Line and Newfound Glory and the Early November. The Minneapolis-based Rhymesayers Entertainment introduced him to the world of underground hip-hop. That combination of things helped make him into the diverse musician he is today.

“I do this all because I’m obsessed with words,” he says. “My first instrument was drums. I played drums in many bands. I’ll never forget trying to sing around my bandmates, and they told me to never sing again. That was never going to stop me from getting to the front of the stage. I had rhythm and words. I had the desire to hold the microphone, and that opened up the doors to rap.”

With his foray into rap behind him, Mod Sun has turned his focus to pop-punk for his last two albums, Internet Killed the Rock Star and God Save the Teen “I naturally like to evolve and recreate,” he says. “One thing that was always struck me was that I like when bands take a left turn and have a departure album. When a band says they want to mature and still stay the same band and they need to make these songs are more technical

or give them something extra, that never sat right with me. It’s definitely the sequel to my last album. I wanted to toy around with pop punk, but the record also has the most ‘90s alt leaning and most folk leaning songs I’ve ever made. I wanted to make the song bigger and explore those dynamics.”

Mod Sun explores the aforementioned alt-rock side of his sound with a faithful cover of the Goo Goo Dolls’ hit “Iris.”

“That was one of the first memories where a song really

touched me,” he says. “I grew up around music, and while I loved a song like ‘The Times They Are A-Changin’,’ the tune wasn’t exactly connecting it to me. This is prior to internet days. You can find communities and friends now, but this was not the case at the time. If people did not understand you in your city, you were an outcast. That song and those lyrics made me feel like there are other people out there. It was for me. Growing up, it was a real challenge trying to fit in.”

The ballad “Shelter” is another

album highlight. It features fiancée Avril Lavigne, who turns in a rousing vocal performance. Mod Sun admits the singer-songwriter is out of his league when it comes to singing.

“She makes me not want to sing in the car when we’re riding together,” he says. “I thought I was good until I met her. She has perfect pitch and can do no wrong. She loved that song when I played it for her. It’s about a specific moment with us, and it’s right that she would be on it. That’s the biggest performing song on the album right now. To have a song in sixth note timing is so cool. It’s not the most popular time signature. On Top 40, I can promise you there is no song in sixth.”

While he says he might have another pop-punk album in the works, Mod Sun says he plan to reinvent his sound again in the near future.

“The first ten years, I played drums, and the second ten years I was rapping,” he says. “This ten years, I’ve been making alt-leaning stuff. After this, I’m going to stripped-down, folk-leaning and very ambient music. That’s where I know the next part of my career goes.”

One constant is that he hopes to inspire others to follow their artistic aspirations.

“I’m speaking for the underdog always,” he says. “I come from a place where I felt misunderstand. I was told I can’t sing and I know it takes a one-in-a-million chance [of being successful]. I’m always telling people that you can be that one. There’s no reason why you can’t. I thoroughly believe I was born with zero talent. I came from a very broken family. I’ve worked with so many artists, and a lot of it comes down to the energy that I’m giving the person or bringing to the room, far before the talent that I bring. That’s always been my message. Whether it’s a song about heartbreak or love, the through-line is that if I can do this, so can you. I want people to look beyond the song and see that I am able to live my dreams.”

jniesel@clevescene.com

t @jniesel

MOD SUN, STAND ATLANTIC, PARDYALONE, 7:30 P.M. THURSDAY, MARCH 9, AGORA THEATRE 5000 EUCLID AVE., 216-881-2221. TICKETS: $25+, AGORACLEVELAND.COM.

Mod Sun.

Photo: Nathan James

PIANO MAN

Marco Benevento plays all the instruments himself on his latest effort

By Jeff Niesel

PIANIST MARCO BENEVENTO

says he never considered it unusual that he started playing piano at age 7.

“Growing up in the suburbs on New Jersey in the late ’80s and early ’90s, it was kind of standard that you would take boring piano lessons,” he says in a phone interview from his upstate New York home. Marco Benevento performs with Mike Dillon & Punkadelic on Tuesday, March 14, at the Beachland Ballroom. “Everybody sort of did it. I did that at a young age, but I kind of liked it. I just got better and better at it.”

While his parents weren’t musicians, they still encouraged him to pursue his musical ambitions.

“When I would play piano, my dad would try to sing along with me, and my uncle would play a little guitar, and we’d play things like ‘Hey Jude,’” says Benevento. “After getting the basics down, it wasn’t until around seventh or eighth grade at 12 or 13 that I was interested in getting a synthesizer, and I could put on headphones and make cool sounds. That’s when I was like, ‘This is fun.’ That’s what led me into other realms.”

Benevento really embraced those “other realms” when he moved to New York and dove into the downtown jazz scene that had

exploded in the late ’90s and early 2000s when clubs such as the now-shuttered Knitting Factory presented eclectic music that pushed jazz’s boundaries.

“What a wonderful time period that was,” Benevento says when asked about what the scene was like at that time. “I was right out of college. I was 21. I just wanted to go to New York and be awesome and try to play with as many people as I could. At that time, acid jazz and experimental funk was going on. I would do all sorts of random gigs with a Rhodes [piano] and a few pedals, and a lot of the scene was improv. We would improvise and be in the background at some restaurant or bar. Sometimes, people would want to hear it, and sometimes we were just in the background. You meet tons of people doing that. [Drummer] Joe Russo and I go back to middle school, and when we reconnected in 2001, we had a residency at a Moroccan place every Thursday. It was organ, drums, sax and percussion. There was no talk about songs.”

By the late ’00s, however,

Benevento was ready to move out of the city. He says he was constantly on the road and his Brooklyn apartment “just shrank” when he had kids.

“We looked around the Hudson Valley, and there’s a huge span along the Hudson River with some cool towns,” he says. “Woodstock was kind of an obvious choice. I had played festivals here, and there were a lot of musicians here. That was an obvious choice. We were back and forth about it for a while. As soon as I moved here, I was recording with Carl Newman from the New Pornographers and playing anti-fracking benefits with John Medeski and seeing Donald Fagen when I went to get pizza. There are so many cool musicians here. [The venue] Levon’s Barn is here, and I play there about once a month.”

Benevento’s latest album, Benevento, consists of songs he completed during the pandemic. He wrote some of them from scratch, and others were ones he just had the time to finish.

“I often can’t get to songs fast enough when I’m on the road,” he says. “Being on lockdown gave me

time to tackle songs that I liked but hadn’t finished. I was able to address all the new songs because of the pandemic. I wrote and played all the instruments on the songs too.”

Benevento also enlisted San Diego-based poet Al Howard as a lyricist. He had met Howard some 20 years ago but hadn’t kept in touch. When he heard through a friend that Howard had been writing songs, and he’d be willing to lend the lyrics to musicians, Benevento was ecstatic.

“Lyric writing is not my strong point,” says Benevento. “I’m learning and getting better. When I’m at a standstill, I don’t know what to do. Seeing someone else’s output really helped. I could just fill in the blanks with his words or edit them for the songs.”

While Benevento plays all the instruments on the album himself, he did make an exception for “Marco and Mimo,” a percussionheavy jazzy jam that features Mamadouba “Mimo” Camara.

“Mimo teaches African drums at our kids’ school,” says Benevento. “He’s married to one of the teachers at the school and is from Ghana. He is an older dude. He doesn’t speak much English. I think he speaks French. I honestly don’t know his whole story, but I know he’s a great drum teacher. Whenever we see our kids do their drum concerts, it’s awesome and cool. He’s the closest guy that I could have over during the pandemic. I put everything outside, and we had our masks on and were distant. He set up all his drums outside. It was cool to connect with him.”

Benevento, who’s played the Beachland’s smaller tavern in the past, says he’s excited to play the bigger ballroom.

“We play stuff from [2008’s] Invisible Baby to the newer album,” he says. “On the last couple of tours, we’ve been leaning more on the newer stuff to see how the songs can get people moving and dancing. We do some covers as well, which is fun. I am happy with how Benevento turned out. I am glad I put it out. I was kind of hesitant. It’s this experimental guy in the studio losing his mind during the pandemic record, but music is positivity and life and gives people so much joy. It’s like [the album is stating,] ‘Everything is going to be alright.’”

jniesel@clevescene.com

MARCO BENEVENTO, MIKE DILLION & PUNKADELICK, 8:30 P.M., TUESDAY, MARCH 14. BEACHLAND BALLROOM, 15711 WATERLOO RD., 216-383-1124. TICKETS: $20 ADV, $23 DOS, BEACHLANDBALLROOM.COM.

Marco Benevento. Seth Olenick

MUSIC

Poco was Americana before Americana was cool. Did you know at the time you were onto something new?

HE DOES IT HIS WAY

Singer-songwriter Jim Messina explains the important of artistic integrity

By Jeff Niesel

NOWADAYS, SINGER-GUITAR -

IST Jim Messina, who famously played with Buffalo Springfield, Poco, and Loggins and Messina, says he limits his touring to “a more civil way of playing.” “I don’t do more than 10 days a month,” he says. “I’m not out more than 14 days, so I can be home with my wife and kids and doing things I need to do around the house.”

For the upcoming performance that takes place on Monday, March 20, at the Kent Stage, he’ll play a mix of material from Buffalo Springfield, Poco, and Loggins and Messina. He’ll also draw from his solo albums as well.

Reached via phone at his Franklin, TN home where he was doing “some banking” and “getting things fixed and repaired before the next run,” Messina talked about his lengthy musical career that began when he was only a teenager.

You recorded your first album when you were only 16. Talk about what that was like.

I think I was closer to 15. It was exciting. I was about 13 when I went into high school. That summer before I started high school, I had

put together a little band, and we played at the Grand Terrace Country Club [in California] for the kids and their parents, who were Air Force folks having their martinis. Sailors and pilots always need a couple of drinks to get their legs. I played all through high school, and by the time I was in tenth grade, I started making a record. By the 12th grade, a guy by the name of Glen Edwards, who was a DJ working for KZAY at the Disneyland Hotel, decided he wanted me to start making records. Before I graduated high school, I got the chance to go to Hollywood and start recording. That was how I got into what I do now.

You then played in Buffalo Springfield. How did you know those guys?

I was working at Sunset Sound Recorders as a recording engineer at that time, and a woman by the name of Gypsy asked me to come in and do a session in the morning. She said it was just a demo for voice and guitar. She said that it’s booked by David Crosby. I said, “Is that Bing Crosby’s son?” She said, “I don’t think so, and I wouldn’t ask if I were you.” I set up the next

6:30 P.M., MONDAY, MARCH 20. KENT STAGE, 175 E. MAIN ST., KENT, 330-677-5005. TICKETS: $33-$48, KENTSTAGE.ORG.

day. We were in the studio, and he had a lamp that I had never seen before and he wanted me to plug it in, and he said it was a lava lamp. He needed me to turn the lights down, and the woman who came in recorded about 10 to 12 songs, and I remember listening to the person singing and thinking they were really good songs. I loved the voice, and there were good images in the lyrics. When I finished the session, I asked who to put as producer, David Crosby. I asked, “Who should I put down as the artist?” He said that Joni Mitchell was the artist. From that session, David went to [Buffalo Springfield] and said he’d worked with an engineer that they should check out, but prior to that, I didn’t know who he was and I certainly didn’t know who she was, but we eventually found all that out, didn’t we?

Um, that’s hard to answer. That’s what was coming out of us. It wasn’t planned that way. Before I started working with Buffalo Springfield, I was working at Universal Audio with Mike Dorrough. He was the engineer I was assigned, and he and I had become friends. I didn’t think I’d ever become a successful studio musician. I apprenticed with him, and he taught me how to wire and edit and just about everything to do with becoming a recording engineer. We had built a studio in Indiana and guys like Roger Miller, Dorsey Burnette, James Buton, and Jerry Allison and the Crickets came in to record. I was listening to great music. With Buffalo Springfield, they were hiring people like James Burton to play dobro. I was familiar with a lot of that stuff. By the time Poco came around, Richie said, “What could we do differently?” I said, “We’ve been doing folk-rock so why don’t we do country rock?” It naturally evolved into what our experiences were. He gravitated toward writing more country stuff. I had played bass in Buffalo Springfield, and I wanted to get into playing guitar. It was just the perfect excuse.

It took some time for you to experience success. What has that been like?

Interestingly enough, I do believe that sometimes things come to you in different points of your life. The actor Anthony Hopkins once came to the house in about 1974 or 1975. He was not successful. He felt he was getting older and was struggling with his own demons, and then, Silence of the Lambs came out. What an incredible movie! After that, it was one after the next, and I remember seeing him a number of years later in a parking lot at a hotel. I hear this voice, “Jimmy! It’s me, Tony.” We were chatting, and I said, “How does it feel to be really successful now?” He said, “It feels good, but I wish it had happened a lot sooner in my life.” I thought to myself, “It happens when it happens.” If you work hard and keep your integrity, that’s what matters. I do what I do. I’ve done it since I was 13. I’ve had ups and downs, but I continue to work and I really enjoy it. I’m good.

jniesel@clevescene.com t @jniesel

Hiram-Maxim.

Credit: Bryon Miller

JIM MESSINA

LIVEWIRE Real music in the real world

THU 03/09

K. Michelle

This singer and actress began her recording career way back in 2008 when she signed a deal with Jive Records. Early on, she had a hit with “Fakin’ It,” a tune that paired her with Missy Elliott. Michelle, who might be best known for being a regular cast member on the VH1 reality television series Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta during its first two seasons, brings her tour in support of her new album, I’m the Problem, to House of Blues tonight at 7. 308 Euclid Ave., 216-523-2583, houseofblues.com.

FRI 03/10

Blue October

The alt-rock act Blue October has experienced extreme ups and downs since forming some 20 years ago. Frontman Justin Furstenfeld chronicles that rollercoaster ride in Crazy Making — The Words and Lyrics of Justin Furstenfeld, a collection of annotated lyrics for the songs in the band’s discography. A couple of years ago, he toured in support of the book and played acoustic shows. In the last couple of years, however, he’s turned his attention back to Blue October, which just released its latest effort, Spinning the Truth Around. The moody title track, a contemplative ballad that features soft backing vocals, sets the tone for the disc. The group brings its tour in support of the album to the Agora at 8 tonight. 5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com.

Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

Last year, banjo Man John McEuen rolled into town to play the Kent Stage as part of a tour celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band’s Will the Circle Be Unbroken. Now, the band itself comes into town with a lineup that includes founding member Jeff Hanna, harp master Jimmie Fadden (who joined in 1966) and soulfulvoiced Bob Carpenter, who has more than 40 years of service in the ensemble. The show begins at 7 at the Kent Stage. Tickets cost $35 to $50.

175 E. Main St., Kent, 330-677-5005, kentstage.org.

SAT 03/11

MIKE

Released to critical acclaim last year, MIKE’s new album, Beware of the Monkey, “reflects on the solace and stability he established over a brief hiatus and the longest period he’s gone without releasing an album in his prolific career,” as it’s put in a press release. The rapper performs tonight at 7 at Mahall’s 20 Lanes in Lakewood with 454, Niontay, and 12k Gotti.

13200 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216521-3280, mahalls20lanes.com.

Boys from the County Hell

When the Boys from the County Hell first got together in 2000 as a Pogues cover band, it was supposed to be just a one-night stand. But after selling out their first show at the Euclid Tavern, the group’s popularity escalated. The guys keep pretty busy this time of the year; they’ll play tonight at 8 at Music Box Supper Club as they warm up for their annual St. Patrick’s Day shows. 1148 Main Ave., 216-242-1250, musicboxcle.com.

Starship Featuring Mickey Thomas

Led by Mickey Thomas, the classic rock act that has its roots in Jefferson Airplane, the terrific ’60s psychedelic rock band from San Francisco, never resonated like Airplane, though it did deliver hits such as “Janes” and “Stranger.” Thomas, who famously sang lead vocals on Elvin Bishop’s “Fooled Around and Fell in Love,” will even revisit Airplane material for this show that comes to MGM Northfield Park — Center Stage tonight at 8. 10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330-908-7793, mgmnorthfieldpark. mgmresorts.com/en.html.

White Reaper

This Louisville-based garage rock band artfully evokes ’60s and ’70s rock on their fourth studio effort, Asking for a Ride, an album that features everything from ‘70s arena rock (“Fog Machine”) to Brit-pop (“Heaven or Not”). “Pages,” the one tune with a decided hook, stands out as the best track on a middleof-the-road effort. The alt-rock band performs tonight at 8 at the Beachland Ballroom. Militarie Gun, and Mamalarkey share the bill. 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.

Wishbone Ash

Led by founding member Andy Powell (guitarist, lead vocals), this veteran British rock band marks the 50th anniversary of its biggest selling, multi-platinum album, Live Dates, with this tour that brings it to the Kent Stage tonight at 7. Tickets cost $35 to $50.

175 E. Main St., Kent, 330-677-5005, kentstage.org.

SUN 03/12

Crash Test Dummies

Best known for their 1993 Top 5 hit “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm” (from the platinum-selling God Shuffled His Feet), Canada’s Crash Test Dummies have somehow persevered, despite being one-hit wonders. They even seemingly embraced their status as a novelty act by writing songs for their album, Oooh La La!, using only ’70s analog musical toys. They return to Kent Stage tonight at 7. Tickets cost $40 to $50. 175 E. Main St., Kent, 330-677-5005, kentstage.org.

WED 03/15

Kelsea Ballerini

Is country singer Kelsea Ballerini the next Taylor Swift? Swift seems to think so. A few years back, she gave the up-and-coming artist a ringing endorsement. Ballerini appears to be living up to expectations too. Her most recent effort, Rolling Up the Welcome Mat is accompanied by a short film that Ballerini wrote and co-directed. The country singer-songwriter performs tonight at 7 at the Agora. Georgia Webster opens the show. 5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com.

FRI 03/17

The Blues Is Alright Tour

Calvin Richardson, Pokey Bear, King George, Tucka, Theodis Ealey and Lenny Williams perform as part of this traveling tour featuring blues icons. Tonight’s performance takes place at 8 at the State Theatre. 1519 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

Ekoostik Hookah

Formed in 1991, this Ohio-based jam band has hosted more than

50 iterations of Hookahville, a biannual festival usually held over Memorial and Labor Day weekends. Over the decades, the festival has featured national acts such as Ratdog, Gov’t Mule, Umphrey’s McGee, Béla Fleck & the Flecktones, Blues Traveler and many others. The group has achieved success and longevity largely without the support of mainstream media, corporate management, or even a record label. Now in its 30th year, the group performs tonight at 8 at the Beachland Ballroom. 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.

Ari Lennox

An R&B singer-songwriter signed to J. Cole’s Dreamville imprint, Ari Lennox started releasing music about 10 years ago. Based in Washington, D.C., Lennox began uploading her music around 2012 and released her debut EP, Ariography, in 2013. The current tour supports her sophomore effort, age/sex/location. Tonight’s show starts at 7 at House of Blues. 308 Euclid Ave., 216-523-2583, houseofblues.com.

SAT 03/18

ABBApalooza

A tribute to the Swedish pop band, ABBApalooza features songs such as “Dancing Queen,” “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight),” “Knowing Me-Knowing You,” “Mamma Mia,” “Waterloo” and “The Winner Takes It All.” Performances take place at 8 tonight and at 3 p.m. tomorrow at Connor Palace.

1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

Altan

Way back in 1981, Belfast born flute player Frankie Kennedy met fiddler and singer Mairead Ní Mhaonaigh, and the duo formed the folk-rock act Altan. The group has steadily recorded and toured ever since. It performs tonight at 7 at the Kent Stage. Tickets cost $32 to $42. 175 E. Main St., Kent, 330-6775005, kentstage.org.

LEFT END

By Jeff Niesel

MEET THE BAND: Patsy

Palombo (drums), Roy Guerrieri (bass), Tom Figinsky (lead guitar), Jim Puhalla (rhythm guitar, bass), Dave Lemasters (lead guitar, rhythm guitar), Michael Lawrence (vocals)

A TRI-STATE SENSATION:

The founding musicians in Left End were all originally in Youngstown band called the Soulsations. “We were primarily an R&B group,” says Palombo via phone. “As time went on, we started playing more Grand Funk Railroad, before you know it, it was Uriah Heap, and we started to get heavier and heavier. We started doing ‘Paranoid’ by Ozzy Osbourne.” The group changed its name to Left End, and shortly after that, singer Dennis Sesonsky joined the band. With Sesonsky singing, the group released a series of singles that led to a deal with Polydor Records. The band released Spoiled Rotten, its major label debut, in 1973. It recorded the album at Cleveland Recording with Kenneth Hamann. “We wanted to go there because that’s where Grand Funk recorded their first albums,” says Palombo, who adds that former WMMS DJ Kid Leo became a fan of the band.

THE CLEVELAND

CONNECTION: The group might’ve been from Youngstown, but it caught on in Cleveland too. “It was a great music scene happening here in Youngstown, and it spilled over into Akron/ Canton,” says Palombo. “Back in the early to mid ’70s, we were billed as the monster that ate Cleveland. We were at the Agora one summer every Friday night. We used to play all the clubs and did everything in Cleveland. We were there all the time. When [the late singer-songwriter] Michael Stanley was just starting, we used

to hang with him. There were a lot of great musicians back in those days. [Singer] Chrissie Hynde was a friend of ours and a fan of our band. We headlined over the Eagles on their first tour, and we got to be friends with [singer-guitarist] Glenn Frey. They were really nice guys. That was in Youngstown. We were so popular in the Tri-State area that we were headlining this outdoor concert.”

TRUE TENACITY: In 2020, Palombo documented the band’s history in the self-published book he wrote called Tenacity: The Left End Story. “I was always a good storyteller,” he says. “Throughout the years, I would tell people this story and that story. They would tell me to write a book, so I sat down and did it. It talks about the ups and downs and how we kept coming back. We were like brothers back in the day. We are all kind of family-type people. It was that fraternity that kept us together. We stayed in touch. The last time we performed was in 2014. There was a Youngstown Music Award event and they gave us an honorary plaque.” Because Sesonsky had passed away, the group did the Youngstown Music Awards with guest singers. “That was the last time we performed,” says Palombo. “Dennis was not with us, but it went over very well. Now, we have a Facebook page that gets a lot of hits. It’s amazing the fan base that stays loyal. They have a lot of memories of the days of the Agora, and it brings them back to their young years.”

WHY YOU SHOULD HEAR

THEM: With its raspy vocals, “Bad Talkin’ Lady” comes off as a Bad Company-like biker anthem, and “Ridin’ Again” has echoes of Led Z eppelin. Both tunes hold their own against the classic rock that’s still in heavy rotation on stations like WNCX. The upcoming concert at the Packard Music Hall in Warren will feature the band’s most popular material from its 50-year career.

WHERE YOU CAN HEAR THEM: facebook.com/profile.

php?id=100063664503497

WHERE YOU CAN SEE THEM: Left End performs at 8 p.m. on Saturday, March 11, at Packard Music Hall in Warren.

jniesel@clevescene.com

t @jniesel

Photo: Courtesy of Left End

SAVAGE LOVE QUICKIES

By Dan Savage

Hey Dan: You suggested stocking up on abortion pills NOW for friends in the future because they could wind up being banned. I naively thought a ban would never happen. Now, as you probably know, it’s on the verge of being banned nationwide any day due to the lawsuit in Texas. It looks like I’d need to go to a doctor to get them and I don’t want to have to lie about needing them. Is there any other way to get them?

Go to PlanCPills.org!

Hey Dan: I look okay, I make good money, I have my own place, and I’m nice. But no one wants me, and no one stays, because I’m autistic. I want a real relationship, but I would settle for an escort. But I don’t want to get robbed or killed. Everyone says, “Just get out there,” but it doesn’t work.

I can’t give explicit advice about finding escorts — it’s a legal gray area — but I can suggest that you follow sex workers’ rights advocates on Twitter, many of whom are sex workers themselves. Most of the women sex workers I know personally, not professionally have experience working with autistic clients. And while locating an experienced sex worker you would like to see in person will require some time and effort, the energy you’re currently expending being miserable would be better spent on this search. There are also dating sites for autistic adults like Hiki (www.hikiapp.com) that you might want to check out.

Hey Dan: What’s the best way as GAYS to get laid at the gym?

No one gets laid at the gym — or through the gym — without going to the gym. As a very problematic person once said, 80 percent of success in life is just showing up. And here’s a pro-tip: presmartphones and hookup apps, GAYS would cruise each other while they lifted weights, offer to spot each other, and then follow each other into locker rooms to mess around discreetly, of course, so as not to panic STRAIGHTS and/or annoy GAYS who don’t mess around at the

gym. These days guys open Grindr at the gym and send hole pics to guys sitting on the machine next to them.

Hey Dan: I’m a 43-year-old cis straight man. I’m going to see my doctor soon and I plan to ask him about testing for autism spectrum disorder, because more than half of my girlfriends and a few platonic friends have asked me if I might be on the spectrum. I don’t think a diagnosis will change my life, other than reframing a lot of confusing (to me) “breakups” with friends and girlfriends over the years. Any advice whether or how I should contact previous friends and girlfriends to let them know I received a diagnosAis that might explain some of our problems? I’m still on friendly(ish) terms with most of them.

A status update posted to Facebook and/or a story posted to Instagram assuming you’re on social media and/or want to be out about your diagnosis — would probably reach most of your friends and exes. If that’s too public, I don’t see why you couldn’t just send a note to the friends and exes with whom you’re on friendly(ish) terms, particularly the ones who suggested you might be on the spectrum.

Hey Dan: I have seen videos of guys getting fisted. Some of these guys take it all the way to the elbow. How the heck is this even possible?!? I mean they have to be touching their lungs or heart! Even done carefully how can this be safe and not do permanent damage?

“Some guys’ insides are just made differently,” said CagedJock, a gay male porn star who is often elbow-deep in his costars. “I once fisted this boy — he was short, only 5’5” — and I basically just slid in up to my elbow. He was gifted anatomically. But I have also fisted 6’2” guys without getting past my wrist. So, it’s not the height that gets you to past the elbow. It’s like people in the circus — ordinary people just can’t do that. And it’s safe as long as you’re doing it right. I have been fisting since 2015 and I’ve bottomed

since 2004. It’s about knowing how the body works, using common sense, learning how to read the body language of the receiver, and lots of communication.”

Follow CagedJock on Twitter and Instagram @CagedJock.

Hey Dan: How do you use a dental dam effectively?

You remove the dental dam from its packaging, you place the packaging in the appropriate recycling bin, and then you carefully position the dental over the nearest trash can. You release the dental dam, you let it flutter into the trash can, and then you go to MyLorals.com and order yourself some of their FDA-cleared, ultra-sheer underpants designed for cunnilingus.

Hey Dan: How can a bottom in his 50s find a dang top? Ageism sucks!

I’m always a little suspicious when a guy in his 50s — and that’s my demo — starts to complain about ageism in the gay community…. because I’ve heard from too many middle-aged gay guys whose complaints about “ageism” boiled down to, “Guys in their 20s and 30s don’t wanna fuck me, and I don’t wanna fuck guys my own age or older.” It may not be as easy for a guy in his 50s to find dick, but it’s not impossible, and it’s certainly not as hard as it was back when only guys in their 20s were considered hot. There are lots of guys who are into hot daddies these days, and while a lot of those guys are bottoms, they aren’t all bottoms.

Hey Dan: I’m pre-op, no-T, nonbinary, AFAB. Do I belong on Grindr?

It depends on what you mean by, “Do I belong?” If what you mean is, “Am I allowed on Grindr and will I find someone there who might wanna fuck me?”, then the answer is yes. But if what you mean is, “Will I have a completely frictionless experience on Grindr and not encounter a single asshole who goes out of his way to make me feel like I don’t belong on a hookup app for gay and bi men because I have a vagina and boobs?”, then the answer is no. But by that

standard… no one “belongs” on Grindr, where some people — where some assholes — have been known to go out of their way to make people, AFAB and AMAB, cis and trans, gay and otherwise, feel like they don’t belong.

Hey Dan: My girlfriend has some body odor — underarm odor — that I notice when we play. Any subtle ways to tell her?

I’m not a “mansmells” kind of guy/ pervert, but I like it the way my men smell… at least most of the time. When they smell too strong or sour or otherwise unpleasant, I usually just say, “You stink,” and point them to the shower. Try it.

Hey Dan: How does one effectively manage a throuple?

By not obsessing about what you’ve given up, lost, and/or never had — which would be absolute primacy and instead being grateful for what you’ve gained, e.g., someone else to do the dishes, someone else to pick up groceries, someone else to walk the dogs, etc.

Hey Dan: I’m addicted to PMO — “porn, masturbation, orgasm.” How do I break this addiction and start having real sex?

If you’re having a hard time closing the laptop, pulling up your pants, and getting out of the house, you might have to do something radical like canceling your internet service or getting your ass into therapy.

Hey Dan: My ex and I miss each other and we’re both in therapy now. Is it a bad idea to get back together?

There’s an option between “broken up” and “back together,” and it’s called “dating.” Keep things casual, keep your own places, keep seeing your therapists, and keep all your options — including the option of getting back together — open.

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