San Antonio Current - May 4, 2016

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MAY 4-10, 2016

FREE COMIC BOOK DAY: MAY 7th!

Come get yours! ve1 i s u l c Ex night #

K Moon Variant Store BLE NOW! AVAILA

:bazcomic • bazingacomics.com

sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 3

LIZ SHEPHERD

Up & Out

THURSDAY

May 12, 6-9pm admission to artpace is always free

@artpace #artpace 4 CURRENT • May 4—May 10, 2016 • sacurrent.com

445 NORTH MAIN AVE.

ENJOY

H-E-B FAMILY FILM SERIES AT MISSION MARQUEE PLAZA

F R E E M OV I E S T H I S S U M M E R A N D FA L L : READ TO RED CARPET: MAYOR’S BOOK CLUB CELEBRATION

BRING THE ENTIRE FAMILY FOR FREE MOVIE SCREENINGS PROUDLY BROUGHT TO YOU BY H-E-B. LOAD UP YOUR BLANKETS AND SNACKS, OR CHECK OUT OUR ONSITE FOOD TRUCKS, AND COME ENJOY A MOVIE IN THE COOL-EVENING AIR.

Featuring The Book Thief The H-E-B Family Film Series kicks off the season with a screening of “The Book Thief”. Stop by before the movie screening as we close out the spring 2016 edition of the Mayor’s Book Club. Enjoy books, crafts, snacks and more before the film screening.

Venue opens at 7 p.m. and movies will begin 15 minutes past dusk.

Pets Welcome.

MAY

12

WESTSIDE STORY The Most Acclaimed Musical of All Time!

PG | 2h 31min

JULY

MAY

THE PEANUTS MOVIE Dream Big! G | 1h 32min

JULY

19

SEPT

ALVIN & THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP Boys on the Hood G | 1h 26min

AMERICAN GRAFFITI Where were you in ‘62?

PG | 1h 53min

MAY

21

INSIDE OUT Meet the Little Voices Inside Your Head PG | 1h 34min

21

THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY - PT I The Courage of One Will Change the World PG-13 | 2h 5min

03

SEPT

MAY MAYOR’S BOOK CLUB Review “The Book Thief”

by Markus Zusak

Read to Red Carpet Event 5P – 8P. Film Screening 8P. Free admission

THE HUNGER GAMES The World Will Be Watching…

PG-13 | 2h 22min

09

M AY - O C T O B E R 2 0 1 6

JULY

SEPT

PAN In the Beginning…

He Was the Enemy PG | 2h 15min

23

AUG

06

ANT-MAN Heroes Don’t Get Any Bigger PG-13 | 1h 55min

17

OCT

GOOSEBUMPS The Stories Are Alive…!

PG | 1h 43min

3100 Roosevelt Ave, San Antonio Texas, 78214 For more information, call (210) 207-8612 or visit getcreativesanantonio.com/missionmarqueeplaza #missionmarqueeplaza

04

MINIONS Go Back to Where It All Began PG | 1h 31min

THE GOOD DINOSAUR Tiny but Tough PG | 1h 40min

15

JUNE

01

JUNE

THE BOOK THIEF Courage Beyond Words PG-13 | 2h 10min

16

THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Remember Who the Enemy Is PG-13 | 2h 26min

AUG

18

JUNE

STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS The Force is Calling you…

Let It In PG-13 | 2h 16min

18

THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY - PT 2 Nothing Can Prepare You for the End PG-13 | 2h 16min

OCT

07

AUG

20

OCT

15

EPIC Discover a World of Hidden Treasure PG | 1h 42min

14

THE NATIONAL PARKS OF TEXAS: IN CONTACT WITH BEAUTY NR | 59min

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2 The Only Thing Scarier Than Being a Monster, is Babysitting One… PG | 1h 29min

CITY OF SAN ANTONIO

CENTER CITY DEVELOPMENT & OPERATIONS DEPARTMENT sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 5

sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 7

IN THIS

FIRST WORDS

1

On “Newsmonger: No-brainer” // Armando Sanchez: It is in the best interest of all U.S. citizens and long-term residents to know the English language. For a government entity to appease non-English speakers with translators only prolongs the marginilization of some of the weakest and meekest of our population. [sic] On “Martini Club’s Wayne Harper Hangs it Up” // Angelica Rios-Willing: Loved this place and Wayne, sad to see him go but hope I get to catch him on a night he stops by. Let’s see what the new place/ownership will bring. One of the few places left where you can actually dance to something other than hip-hop. Thanks Wayne for some great times! ❤ [sic] On “As City Reaches No-kill, Free-roaming Dogs Still Trouble Neighborhoods” // Briana Thomas: It should start in school. Kids should learn how to properly care for an animal. And know if you decide to take on the responsibility of a pet, that is your responsibility till the end of its life. You can’t just decide you don’t want it then abandon it on the street. [sic] On “As First U.S. Death from Zika Virus Confirmed, Metro Health Reports New Local Case” // Cesar Garcia: Well it’s been a couple of years so i guess it’s time they hype up a long existing disease and market it as some important new threat the keep the masses focused away from anything important. [sic] • Send your thoughts, comments or kudos to letters@sacurrent.com

ISSUE Issue 16_18 /// May 4-10, 2016

10

NEWS

Newsmonger First Roadrunner drafted // Texas voter ID law remains intact // Blue jean battle

29

SCREENS

Technically Sound HBO’s Silicon Valley continues to tackle techie culture in season three

47

MUSIC

Black Curtain Call The Ten Eleven gets its second wind under new management Aural Pleasure 3 reviews of 3 releases

25

8 CURRENT • April 27—May 3, 2016 • sacurrent.com

14

CALENDAR

Our top picks for the week

Stop Poking the Stapp What former Creed singer Scott Stapp can teach us about ourselves Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

20

ARTS + CULTURE

Galactic Gatherings May the Fourth be with you and the Spurs this week Fadeaway Meet the man who can put Tim Duncan on your head

Never Again More than a year later, former Mission Trails residents still struggle

More Meh Than Meta Ratchet & Clank: Star Wars it ain’t (despite numerous attempts)

45

14

Time-tested Contemporary parallels in the Classic Theatre’s production of Born Yesterday

35

FOOD

From Flora to Food Edera shows plenty of promise in early hits

43

NIGHTLIFE

The Morphing Margarita Don’t stick with basic margs this Cinco de Mayo

Culinary Calendar 6 ways to get your drink/ grub on this week

58

ETC.

Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology This Modern World

ON THE

COVER Geek out with us as we celebrate Star Wars Day with a healthy dose of the Spurs thrown in for good measure.

May the Fourth be with us all.

Illustration by Eric Messinger Art direction by Rick Fisher and Sarah Flood-Baumann

sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 9

NEWS

BEXAR-O-METER Checking the temperature of events in Bexar County and beyond

Spurs-Thunder Not a bad start

NEWSMONGER UTSA in the NFL // Photo ID for Now // To Jean or Not to Jean First Roadrunner Drafted • It took five seasons, but a University of Texas at San Antonio football player was finally selected in the NFL Draft.

David Morgan II, a former tight end for the Roadrunners, became the first player from the school to be selected in the league’s annual rookie acquisition event.

Although other Roadrunners have played in the NFL, they’ve all been signed as free agents.

The Minnesota Vikings drafted Morgan on Saturday, April 30 in the sixth round with the 188th overall pick in the draft. The Marble Falls native racked up over a thousand yards to go with eight touchdown receptions in his collegiate career. His performance in 2015 was good enough to garner second team All-American honors, another first for the school.

But just because he was drafted doesn’t mean Morgan’s place on the Vikings’ roster is assured. In fact, it could be quite a challenge — he’s the lone rookie among the five tight ends currently on the team, so the competition will be tough.

10 CURRENT • May 4—May 10, 2016 • sacurrent.com

SAFC Beats Tulsa 3-1 Soccer club’s record now 2-2-2

MICHAEL MARKS/@MICHAELPMARKS

Voter ID Law Remains Intact • The U.S. Supreme Court opted to leave in place a Texas law that requires certain types of photo identification in order to vote.

The law, passed in 2011, is one of the strictest in the nation. Forms of ID such as concealed handgun licenses and driver’s licenses satisfy the requirements, while others — such as student and workplace IDs — don’t.

Those who favor it — primarily conservatives — argue the law is a common-sense measure to prevent election fraud. The mostly liberal opposition says it is intended to restrict voter turnout, especially among the poor and minorities. They argue that Republican voters are more likely to hold the approved forms of ID, and that the law constitutes a poll tax.

Although the court’s eight justices didn’t strike the law down, the door is open for them to do so later this year. A federal appeals court has until July 20 to make a ruling on the law, but the Supreme Court might take its own action after that date.

And there’s a time crunch here, since opponents of the law hope to dismantle it before Election Day in November.

Blue Jeans Battle • Well, this is stupid.

The most heated battle at the Bexar County Courthouse these days isn’t a

legal squabble. It’s over the dress code — specifically whether prosecutors who work in District Attorney Nico LaHood’s office can wear jeans in Judge Steven Hilbig’s courtroom.

The fight, first reported by the San Antonio Express-News, started when LaHood gave his office’s employees permission to wear jeans on certain workdays as a reward and morale booster.

But Hilbig, himself a former district attorney who now presides over the 187th District Court, didn’t play along.

Hilbig banned anyone wearing jeans from his courtroom when LaHood allowed prosecutors to wear them during Fiesta. LaHood responded by mandating jeans be worn for three days last week. Hilbig didn’t budge, so lawyers were forced to congregate in a nearby conference room, where defense attorneys met with their jeans-wearing prosecutorial counterparts.

LaHood told the Express-News that the jeans themselves aren’t the issue, but rather Hilbig’s refusal to recognize the prosecutors’ hard work. And there’s a precedent for wearing jeans on certain days at the courthouse — former District Attorney Susan Reed allowed the practice during her tenure. Surely, that’s a relief to the citizens of Bexar County. mmarks@sacurrent.com

John Boehner Calls Ted Cruz “Lucifer” Cruz hasn’t denied it Graduation Time Welcome to the suck, grads City, Cops Ordered to Negotiate Mediator will bring ’em back to the table Naked Man Dashes Down San Pedro Police took him to University Hospital More Zika Virus Another Bexar County case

BM-16-26709_SanAntonioCurrent_10.25x10.27.pdf

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sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 11

NEWS

MARK REAGAN

NEVER AGAIN Vecinos de Missions catalogs displacement at Mission Trails MARK REAGAN/@210REAGAN

A tattered, torn brown tarp covering a locked and bent chain link fence at the former Mission Trails Mobile Home Community flapped in the wind last week.

There were no construction workers. Instead, a mass of overgrown grasses and weeds crept up around the trunks of thick oak trees, encroaching on buckled and cracked concrete on the other side of the fence. No trespassing signs were scattered along the brown wooden fence surrounding the rest of the property at 1515 Mission Road. From the street, it appears that there’s no hint of the planned luxury apartment complex that displaced more than 300 people.

In February 2015, the last of the residents of this mobile home park were preparing to leave the community, which was already in disrepair. Today, the future Mission Escondida Luxury Apartments — near Mission Concepción and the Riverside Golf Course — is like a scene from a futuristic movie where nature has reclaimed the remnants of an ancient urban culture.

In May 2014, City Council voted to rezone the land to make way for the $75-million development.

A representative with District 3 Councilwoman Rebecca Viagran’s office said last week that the Office of Historic Preservation approved developer White-Conlee’s design for the Mission Escondida Luxury Apartments on February 17, adding that the developer is still going through the permitting process before it can start work. WhiteConlee and an attorney representing the developer did not respond to requests for comment on the timeline and progress of the apartment complex, which is in a special historic overlay district because of its proximity to Mission Concepción — a World Heritage site. Viagran voted to rezone the property in the district she represents.

But for Margarita Flores, who the San Antonio Current talked to in February 2015 at her well-kept trailer with a few other residents, it’s just too hard to revisit her former home of 11 years.

“There are some times I don’t want to remember anymore because it makes me cry so much,” Flores said.

“I’m a big crybaby.”

Flores is just one of dozens of interviews from 37 households conducted by the Vecinos de Mission Trails group, which was formed in the fallout of the zoning decision. A case study detailing preliminary displacement findings by principal author Marisol Cortez, who has a doctorate in cultural studies, found that City Council’s rezoning decision had four major impacts on former residents: on housing security, health, economic security and social well-being.

12 CURRENT • May 4—May 10, 2016 • sacurrent.com

•

Nature is reclaiming the former Mission Trails Mobile Home Community.

Brenda Reyna, who lived at the park for 12 years, meets each one of those major impacts, as did Flores.

“My life changed completely. I’m scared to start over,” Reyna said. “I’m traumatized and I suffer from panic attacks. And, right now, I’m on medication and I’m not sure how to fix my life again.”

Reyna and her two children, who are aged 14 and 9, are living with family.

Emotionally, Flores is no different than Reyna.

“We fell into a depression. Because it was really hard to take all that time in the cold and the hot,” she said, explaining that she and her two adolescent children lived in a trailer without water or electricity for a year, and took on debt she shouldn’t have had to bear. “And no one from the City or any of the decision-makers … worried about the negative impact it would have on us. It was really hard for my two adolescent kids. They had a certain lifestyle and lost it.”

While Flores and Reyna have their physical health, not all residents were so fortunate. According to Cortez’s report, three residents have died since their displacement, including two elderly women and a man who committed suicide. Nearly half of the interviewees attributed one or more health problems, including the worsening of pre-existing conditions, like diabetes or asthma, to their displacement.

Then there were the economic repercussions, which both Reyna, who lost her job during the crisis, and Flores, who was forced to take out more debt, experienced. They are not alone.

Through interviews, Cortez learned two out of five households interviewed experienced an increased housing burden, either becoming renters or taking on new mortgages, along with respondents reporting that they extinguished savings or tapped into 401Ks. White-Conlee gave families that moved out by January 1, 2015, $7,500

and for those that didn’t take the original deal: $5,600.

While residents differed on what they thought sufficient financial assistance would be, many stated that the psychological trauma of losing their homes had no price.

However, by far, the most immediate impact of the displacement was housing security. One in four households interviewed by Cortez experienced a period of homelessness, including a disabled veteran in his 60s who lived in his van for three weeks; an elderly couple who lived out of their shop; a couple with two small children who moved into a relative’s house, but sometimes slept in parks because of unsafe conditions at that house; and families having to live in motels.

The lesson? Listen to residents, Cortez says. The mobile home park started becoming dilapidated only two to three years before the property was rezoned, contrary to media portrayals, numerous residents have said. That’s when the final owner purchased the park.

Former residents offered a slew of suggestions for the City in the study, based off of their experience, from providing stronger financial relocation assistance covering the true cost of moving to being engaged earlier in the re-zoning process to better prepare and advocate for themselves.

In closing the case study, Cortez echoes the cries of former residents: San Antonio City Council should learn from what happened at Mission Trails and make sure it never happens like it did in 2014 and 2015 at the park off of Mission Road ever again.

However, for some former residents, forgiving the City won’t be easy. “[I want] the people responsible for this to pay for what they did,” Reyna said. “Because my life is not going to be how it was before.” mreagan@sacurrent.com

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CALENDAR

5

‘SET’ ART

Organized by artists Joey Fauerso and Liz Rodda, “SET” wraps an array of video works and live music into a traveling series supported by Texas State University. Before jetting off for New York, Indiana and Mexico City, the experimental endeavor premieres at Artpace with musician/composer/producer Paul Fauerso (father of Joey and founder of the Bay Area band The Loading Zone) and Grammy-winning guitarist/producer Joe Reyes (of Buttercup and Mitch Webb & The Swindles) soundtracking short silent films by Cheryl Donegan (New York), Duncan Ganley (London), Luz Maria Sánchez (Mexico City) and many more.

Free, 6-7:30pm, Artpace, 445 N. Main Ave., (210) 212-4900, artpace.org.

— Bryan Rindfuss

14 CURRENT • May 4—May 10, 2016 • sacurrent.com

FRI

6

‘Hindsight’ ART

In a simple yet brilliant move, R Gallery is looking back at the recent past to tease the future. In a new exhibit aptly titled “Hindsight,” curator Rigoberto Luna has selected works from 16 male and 16 female artists who’ve shown in the space over the past year. The works on display are thus representative of a superb year for the gallery that San Antonio Current readers voted their favorite back in 2013. Featuring artists like Ana Fernandez, Justin Parr, Jenelle Esparza, Ed Saavedra and other familiar names, the group show gives platform to a variety of different voices, experiences and styles. Free, 6-11pm, R Gallery, 725 S. Presa St., (210) 862-8875, facebook. com/rgallerystx. — James Courtney

THU-FRI

5-6

JUSTIN KORVER

ANA FERNANDEZ

CHERYL DONEGAN

THU

‘Pageant Wounds’ & ‘Accessories of Modern Men’ ART

This First Thursday and Friday, local aesthetes will want to be on hand at UTSA’s Terminal 136 for a promising duo of MFA thesis exhibitions. The artists exhibiting, Kallie Pfeiffer and Justin Korver, offer up their own visions of the human condition and the social construction of reality in exhibits respectively titled “Pageant Wounds” and “Accessories of Modern Men.” Pfeiffer’s photographic installations, which delve into the delicacy of existence, contrast well with Korver’s multimedia ruminations on contemporary manhood as expressed by the objects that accompany it. Free, 6-9pm Thu-Fri, Terminal 136, 136 Blue Star, (210) 4584391, art.utsa.edu. — JC

FRI-SAT

6-7

Rob Schneider COMEDY

Let’s try and forget that earlier this year former Saturday Night Live actor and anti-vaccine quack Rob Schneider lent his voice to the title polar bear in Norm of the North — one of the worst animated films in recent memory — and also starred in Adam Sandler’s equally God-awful Netflix comedy The Ridiculous 6 late last year. Hell, besides the “makin’ copies” dude he played during his four-year SNL run, a cameo in a 1996 episode of Seinfeld and his role in Home Alone 2, let’s forget most of his career. But stand-up is a different art form, so maybe he’ll surprise us. You can do it! $27.50-$35, 8pm & 10:15pm Fri-Sat, Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805, lolsanantonio.com. — Kiko Martínez

CALENDAR

FRI-SUN

6-8

A Chorus Line THEATER

In 1975, A Chorus Line marked a turning point for Broadway — it’s one of the first shows to broach homosexuality — and paved the way for other groundbreakers like Rent. Set at a dance audition, the musical spotlights the individuality of dancers vying to become part of a homogeneous chorus.

This contrast demonstrates that even the background players have struggles and dreams, and the show as a whole is a cathartic experience for the audience and performers alike. Tim Hedgepeth directs The Playhouse’s production, with a reception following Friday’s opening night performance. $12-$30, 8pm Fri-Sat, 3pm Sun, The Playhouse, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258, theplayhousesa.org.

— Kelly Merka Nelson

SAT

7

Classical Music Kegger MUSIC

Pianos face grim prospects in their final years — humid garages, demolition by teenagers, the Craigslist unknown. With his Classical Music Kegger series, Austin composer Nathan Felix offers a more productive retirement, refurbishing the instruments for his lush compositions and for donation to low-income schools. Writing for six pianos, Felix adopts the style of Steve Reich, with overlapping lines of polyrhythm and harmonic texture. After a first kegger in Austin, he teams up with the Chamber Orchestra of San Antonio at the former A. Grona Mattress Factory. Free with RSVP, 7:30pm, The Mattress Factory, 1903 S. St. Mary’s St., electrochestral.com.

— Matt Stieb

SAT-SUN

7-8

Cyber City Con SPECIAL EVENT

With the added bonus of Free Comic Book day on May 7 (freecomicbookday.com), this weekend beckons area nerds with Cyber City Con, a celebration of all things robotic.

Organized by the masterminds behind Alamo City Comic Con, Cyber City Con invites guests to explore the cybernetic nuts and bolts that make up this stellar fandom while browsing for comics, toys and rare collectibles from local vendors or attending panels featuring artists and voice actors (from Transformers and Evangelion, among others). The fun starts with a “Cyber de Mayo” kickoff party on May 5. $15-$125, 10am-7pm Sat, 11am6pm Sun, Marriott Plaza, 555 S. Alamo St., (210) 229-1000, cybercitycon.com.

— Solomon White

MON

9

Graham Nash MUSIC

Graham Nash, notably of the folk-rock supergroup Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young (CSNY), is one of the most celebrated musicians in the world. Inducted twice into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, as a member of CSNY and of British pop-rock outfit The Hollies, Nash is also a Songwriters Hall of Fame inductee. Despite success with his 1971 opus Songs for Beginners, Nash remains somewhat undervalued as a solo artist. However, his latest album This Path Tonight shows that he can still deliver personal material with universal themes in pristine folk-rock packaging. $49.50-$79.50, 7:30pm, Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, 226 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — JC

sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 15

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CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

WED-TUE

4-10

Children’s International Puppet Festival

SAT

Co-presented by the Tobin and the Children’s Fine Art Series, this second annual event brings together six companies for a week of shows linked by puppetry and imaginative journeys into the unknown. Billed as a “cosmic adventure about celebrating differences,” New Orleans-based Lightwire Theater’s Moon Mouse combines a storyline about a mouse — who naturally believes the moon is made of cheese — and an eclectic musical score (6pm Wed-Thu). Lunar inspiration continues in Montreal-based Le Théâtre des Petites Âmes’ Pekka, a tale of a tiny turtle in search of an elusive moon (10am, 12:15pm & 2:30pm Sat). Likened to a theatrical version of Pixar’s WALL-E, Australian puppeteer Tim Watts’ “micro-epic puppet show” The Adventure of Alvin Sputnik sends its brave protagonist to the depths of the ocean to find an alternate habitat amid rising sea levels (6:30pm Fri, 1pm & 4pm Sat).

An “aquatic ode that draws on timeless myths,” L’Illusion Théâtre of Montreal’s Ondin sees a young boy transformed into a marine creature navigating strange waters (11am, 2pm & 4pm Sun, 5pm Mon, 6pm Tue). Brought to life by the shadow puppetry and digital projections of Austin’s Sandbank Shadow Factory, Walter Weirdbeard follows a crew of disgruntled pirates who find a treasure chest filled with musty old books (6pm Fri, 11am, 1:15pm & 3:30pm Sat, 1:25pm, 3pm, 4:35pm Sun). Led by “wacky paleontologist” Dr. Dino Sawyer, Kansas City-based Paul Mesner Puppets’ The Dinosaur Show conjures prehistoric beasties via puppetry, a shadow spectacle and audience interaction (12:15pm, 2:30pm & 4:15pm Sun, 5pm Mon, 6pm Tue). $12 per show, $54 for a festival pass, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org. — Bryan Rindfuss

Art

Art opening: “Accumulated Erosions”

San Antonio artist Karen Mahaffy’s “Accumulated Erosions” comprises new mixed-media, video and installationbased works that “draw on the phenomenological aspects of time, accumulation and loss.” Mahaffy’s solo show opens in tandem with three other exhibitions: Mona Marshall’s “Three Stories About Water,” Anthony Rundblade’s “Echoes from a Bear Cave,” and Lauri Garcia Jones’ “Some of My Closest Friends Call Me Mom.” Free, 5:307:30pm Friday; Southwest School of Art, 300 Augusta St., (210) 224-1848.

Art opening: “Apotheosis” Referencing

with its title “the highest point in the development of something,” this senior thesis exhibition comprises painting, photography, mixed-media, film, installation and experimental works created by SAY Sí students as well as theatrical performances from the ALAS Youth Theatre Company. Free, 6-9pm Friday (performance encore at 7:30pm Saturday); SAY Sí, 1518 S. Alamo St., (210) 212-8666.

Art opening: “Argentine Women in the Arts & Literature” C.A.S.A. Argentina hosts a reception featuring an exhibit of feminist drawings by artist Reina Page Serrano and a reading from St. Mary’s University professor Gwendolyn Diaz’s book Buenos Aires Noir, a “quirky collection of short stories about life in the Argentine capital.” Free, 7-10pm Friday; Instituto Cultural de México, 600 Hemisfair Plaza, (210) 227-0123.

Art opening: “El Sueño Transfigurado”

AnArte unveils new mixed-media paintings by Spanish artist Fabian Lainez at a reception with margaritas, wine, beer and music by Los Prados. Free, 6-8pm Wednesday; AnArte Gallery, 7959 Broadway, Suite 404, (210) 826-5672.

Art opening: “Otaku Art Show” Dorćol

celebrates anime and otaku culture with a First Friday art sale benefiting Kumamoto Earthquake relief efforts. Free, 7pm-midnight Friday; Dorćol Distilling Company, 1902 S. Flores St., (210) 204-3781.

Art opening: “The Neighborhood”

Influenced by local Chicano artists, Daniel Maldonado Jr.’s paintings and drawings depict his friends and their alter egos enhanced with symbolic tattoos and fullbody auras. Free, 6-9pm Saturday; REM Gallery, 219 E. Park Ave., (210) 224-1227.

Art opening: “Untitled x 3” Artists Tim

Beard, Jennifer Boecking and Eric Owen present non-representational abstract paintings and ceramic sculptures. Free, 6-9pm Friday; Gallery 20/20, 1010 S. Flores St., #108, (210) 473-8331.

“Shepard Fairey at the McNay” Best

known for the famous “Hope” poster he designed for Barack Obama’s presidential campaign and his iconic image of pro wrestler André the Giant emblazoned with the word “OBEY,” Shepard Fairey is one of the country’s most famous and influential street artists. Many of Fairey’s prints were produced in collaboration with the late Richard Duardo at Modern Multiples in Los Angeles, a print shop favored by San

7

Paseo por el Westside

Presented in partnership with the Westside Preservation Alliance, the City of San Antonio Office of Historic Preservation, the San Antonio Public Library and Councilwoman Shirley Gonzales, the Esperanza Peace and Justice Center’s annual Paseo por el Westside celebrates the neighborhood’s history, culture, people and architecture through walking tours, workshops, performances and presentations.

Highlights from the National Historic Preservation Month event include tours of the neighborhood (9am & 11am) and San Fernando Cemetery No. 1 (10am); sessions shedding light on the names of different types of pan dulce (10am & 11am), making cascarones and old-school ball-and-cup games (10am-noon), ways to cook various chiles (10:30-11:30am & 1:30-2pm), uses for medicinal plants (10:30am) and ancestry/genealogy (10:30am with Sylvia Reyna and 11:30am with Donna Guerra); plus performances by the likes of communitybased preservationists Conjunto Heritage Taller (noon), Esperanza-organized ranchera supergroup Las Tesoros de San Antonio (12:15pm), “Mexican musical memory” promoters Grupo Tayer (10am, 1pm & 2:15pm) and beloved local singersongwriter Azul Barrientos (2pm). Free, 9am-3pm, Rinconcito de Esperanza, 816 S. Colorado St., (210) 228-0201, esperanzacenter.org. — BR

Antonio collectors Harriett and Ricardo Romo. Typically rendered in a limited color palette of black, white, tan and red, Fairey’s bold works come to light at the McNay in a never-before-exhibited selection of eight large-scale prints the Romos gifted to the museum. $15-$20, 10am-4pm Wednesday, 10am-9pm Thursday, 10am-4pm Friday, 10am-5pm Saturday, noon-5pm Sunday, 10am-4pm Tuesday; McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368.

Theater

Memphis Loosely based on the career of

groundbreaking disc jockey Dewey Phillips, Memphis throws audiences into the heat of racial tension, love and rock ‘n’ roll in 1950s-era Tennessee. With an original score

by David Bryan and Joe DiPietro, the Tony Award-winning musical follows a white man with a passion for R&B and his dangerous affair with an up-and-coming black singer.

Touted by critics as “an exuberant musical with classic values,” Memphis lights up the Woodlawn with a production directed by Rebecca Trinidad starring Brian Hodges, Marie Warren and Edward Burkley. $17-$26, 7:30pm Friday-Saturday, 3:30pm Sunday; Woodlawn Theatre, 1920 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 267-8388.

Motown the Musical Hailed as a “musically

vibrant trip back to the glory days of Detroit,” Motown the Musical tells the story of Motown Records founder Berry Gordy, who launched countless careers and shaped a genre that forever changed the American musical landscape. Although it employs Gordy as a through-line, the musical truly shines through the cast’s portrayals of Motown

icons, ranging from Diana Ross to a young Michael Jackson. Theater-goers seeking a nostalgic evening awash in Motown’s greatest hits will get more than their money’s worth — this national tour packs in 40-plus numbers. $30-$170, 7:30pm WednesdayThursday, 8pm Friday, 2pm & 8pm Saturday, 2pm & 7:30pm Sunday; The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333.

Words

Chicana Great Books Series Gemini Ink’s

Chicana Great Books Series culminates with a discussion about Carmen Tafolla’s collection Sonnets to Human Beings (moderated by Patricia Portales), a performance by poet Amanda Flores and a wine and cheese reception. Free, 6:30-8pm Tuesday; Gemini Ink, 1111 Navarro St., (210) 734-9673.

”Dead Man Walking: The Journey Continues” Author and lecturer Sister

Helen Prejean has been instrumental in sparking a national dialogue on the death penalty and helping to shape the Catholic Church’s vigorous opposition to state executions. During this time, she was asked to correspond with death row inmate Patrick Sonnier. She agreed and became his spiritual adviser. After witnessing his execution, she wrote a book about the experience. The result was Dead Man Walking, which became a movie, an opera and a play for high schools and colleges. $30, 7pm Wednesday; St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, 315 E. Pecan St., (210) 226-2426.

Special Events

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18 CURRENT • May 4—May 10, 2016 • sacurrent.com

CALENDAR

awesome event” applauds residents who use active transportation in their daily routines and encourages others to consider what trips they could make by foot, bike or bus. Join an organized walk or bike ride to the rally point along with free breakfast, door prizes (free bikes!) and a bicycle contest. Free, 8-9 am Friday; Main Plaza, 115 N. Main Ave., (210) 230-6929.

Ala Verb Pop-Up Shop Local apparel

company Ala Verb pops up at CO LAB for a one-day sale with food, drinks and music from TIMEWHEEL. Free, 7pm-midnight Saturday; CO LAB, 723 N. Alamo St., (210) 901-9902.

Cinco de Derby Play, wager, feast and

party with First Edition Society at the Breckenridge Park Pavilion for the “Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports.” This annual event marries two time-honored traditions — the Kentucky Derby and Cinco de Mayo. Grab your bow ties, guayaberas, seersucker, flower crowns and big ol’ derby hats to celebrate with food, drinks and live music by the National Standard. $40-$50, 3:30-6:30pm Saturday; Brackenridge Park, 3700 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 225-4728 ext. 16.

Music for Advanced Listeners At Keep

SA Real’s Music for Advanced Listeners event, guests can sample food and drink pairings from Pinch Crawfish Kitchen and Dorćol while listening to selected sounds from DJ Novasoul and Darby of Labkids.

Free admission, 8pm-midnight Thursday; Dorćol Distilling Company, 1902 S. Flores St., (210) 617-0506.

Read to Red Carpet: A Mayor’s Book Club Celebration The Mayor’s spring book club wraps up with a family-friendly evening combining live music, arts and crafts, food trucks, and an outdoor screening of The Book Thief, a 2013 drama about a young girl who finds solace in stealing books and sharing them with others amid the horrors of WWII Germany. Free, 5:30pm Saturday; Mission Marquee Plaza, 3100 Roosevelt Ave., (210) 207-2614.

River City Wrestling Talk about a

stacked card! WWE legend Tatanka teams with Kyle Hawk vs. RCW International Champion “Nasty” Nate Cross with Dahlia, Chi Town’s Finest Mr. B and promoter Brandon Oliver.

The night includes bouts from RCW Champion Skitzkrieg vs. “Samoan Beast” Michael Faith in a steel cage match; heavyweight match with “SuperMex” Hernandez vs. Paul Titan; and a “Chairly Legal Match” between Joey Spector and Rob Love. $15-20, 6-8pm Friday; Old Main Ice House, 110 N. Main St., Cibolo, (210) 455-5275.

SicloVerde Green Spaces Alliance’s

fifth annual urban bike ride and walk tours several of the city’s community gardens. Choose from various tour options ranging in length from a 5-mile walk to a 20-mile ride. Participants travel in small groups with experienced guides, visiting with gardeners. $15$30 at greensatx.org/sicloverde, 7:30am-1pm Saturday; William R. Sinkin EcoCentro, 1802 N. Main Ave., (210) 222-8430.

Spirit of Brackenridge Park Journey

through Brackenridge Park on the Eagle train and enjoy appetizers and specialty cocktails at three whistle-stop stations before arriving back at the Koehler Pavilion for an alfresco picnic supper, handcrafted cocktails, wine, beer and music under the cypress trees! $125 at spiritofbrackenridgepark. eventbrite.com, 6-10pm Friday; Brackenridge Park, 3700 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 227-7804.

Twisted Taco Truck Throwdown More

than 25 taco trucks and other mobile food vendors whip up “twisted culinary masterpieces” and compete for the title of Best Tacos in San Antonio at this sixth annual event with live music by Finding Friday and Los #3 Dinners, $2 Twisted Tea, $1 tacos al pastor and a portion of proceeds benefiting the VFW Post 76 Veteran Relief Fund. Free, 4pm-midnight Saturday; VFW Post 76, 10 Tenth St., (210) 223-4581.

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Who cares who’s racing in this year’s Kentucky Derby when there are $6 mint juleps and $6 Man o’ Wars that need drinking and fabulous tulips to admire? Don your seersucker and floppiest Derby hat and head over to The Brooklynite for the most stylish of celebrations of all things Kentucky.

Free admission, 5pm-2am Saturday; The Brooklynite, 516 Brooklyn Ave., (210) 444-0707.

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WeinAndSaengerfest.com All proceeds from wine sales at Wein & Saengerfest benefit the New Braunfels Parks Foundation and fund improvements to downtown parks. Proceeds from the craft beer sales benefit the New Braunfels Downtown Association.

sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 19

ARTS + CULTURE

Galactic Gatherings May 4 marks day for all Star Wars fans to celebrate together KIKO MARTÍNEZ

> While San Antonio Spurs fans anticipate Game 3 of the Western Conference Semifinals this Friday, there is another date in May that’s as predictable as the Silver and Black reaching the postseason and sure to bring certain fans together to celebrate something they love as much as grumpy Gregg Popovich sound bites.

The day is May 4, Star Wars Day. While it might not be as important of a date when comparing it to the milestones on a Star Wars timeline of intergalactic history – the birth of Yoda 900 years before the Battle of Endor or when the Death Star was destroyed by the Rebel Alliance 19 years after the Empire’s formation (nerd alert!) – or June 25, 1997, the day the Spurs drafted Tim Duncan No. 1 out of Wake Forest, May 4 has become a popular cinematic celebration for Star Wars aficionados worldwide.

May 4 (or May the 4th or May the Tony Fourth), of course, is a pun on Skywalker, the Star Wars phrase that pays: Pop Yoda and “May the Force be with you.”

Manu Solo by The first official celebration of Aaron Preine Star Wars Day was organized by Toronto Underground Cinema in 2011 and included a costume contest and film festival.

Since then, the cosmic holiday has spread across the galaxy faster than Kawhi Leonard hyperdriving down the lane for a massive slam dunk. No, really. Last year, astronauts on the International Space Station celebrated Star Wars Day with a screening of Episode IV: A New Hope in Earth’s low orbit.

Back down on the rocky terrain of the planet, Star Wars disciples come together on May 4 and do it all. From dressing up as their favorite characters, participating in trivia contests, binge-watching all seven movies (and talking about how they’re going to be the first in line to see Rogue One in December), building the Millennium Falcon out of Legos, playing video games, reading comic books and changing all their social media profile pictures to something Star Wars-related, buffs,

20 CURRENT • May 4—May 10, 2016 • sacurrent.com

including those in San Antonio, are ready to keep the fairly new tradition going strong.

It’s unfortunate the NBA didn’t schedule a SpursThunder game at the AT&T Center on Star Wars Day (the last time they played a playoff game on May 4 was in 2005). Spurs fans who also love Star Wars would’ve come out in droves wearing Jedi costumes and sporting their favorite unsanctioned Obi-Wan Ginobili T-shirts.

“On May the 4th, we get to share our fandom together,” said Apple de la Fuente, founder and CEO of Alamo City Comic Con. “Star Wars is a modern mythology and hardcore fans help grow the universe and expand it.

This is our day to celebrate all together that we are one.”

Travis Langley, author of Star Wars Psychology: Dark Side of the Mind and professor of psychology at Henderson State University, knows that exact feeling. Although Langley said he was a “lonely little nerd” when the original film hit theaters in 1977 (The 1976-1977 NBA season was the Spurs’ first season in the league, just in case you like cool coincidences), the release indicated to him that there were a lot more people who enjoyed the same fantastic things he did.

He felt like part of a group.

“Back in ’77, Star Wars was a phenomenon that started creating a fan community no one had ever seen before,” Langley said. “It draws people together to share something they have in common. May the 4th is not just about loving [Star Wars], it’s about feeling connected to other people who are interested in it, too.”

There might not be a big Spurs game on May 4, but there are still plenty of local events taking place in celebration of Star Wars Day 2016. So, grab your lightsaber, young Jedi Knight, call up one of your equally geeky friends and an amazing adventure, go out and have. May the Force be with you. And May the Force be with the Spurs!

ARTS + CULTURE

“May the 4th Be With You!” Event • Free • 6pm-midnight • Paper Tiger • 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. The popular live music venue on the St. Mary’s Strip opens its doors to all you nerf-herders for some “sci-fi jams” with DJ Smartypants, a costume contest and Star Warsthemed burgers from Attaboy Burgers. Best of San Antonio 2016 winner Doomsday Tattoo will also be on hand giving Star Wars tattoos for $25 in case you’re finally ready to get that Chewbacca portrait inked in your armpit.

2nd Annual “May the Fourth” Star Wars Movie Marathon Free • 10am-2am • The Korova 107 E. Martin St. If you have 16 hours to spare, make your way to the Downtown concert venue where the entire sci-fi franchise will screen for the most hardcore Star Wars fans. Anyone who sits through all seven episodes will win a special shirt, so you can show your boss why you needed the entire day off. So, what does it actually take to sit through seven films in a row? “Dedication, rest and a heart full of midi-chlorians,” said Joseph Devine, founder of the San Antonio Wookiee Walk. Costumes are encouraged and artists and vendors are welcome.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Outdoor Screening • Free • 7pm Northwest Vista College (lawn near the Cypress Campus Center) • 3535 N. Ellison Drive Slab Cinema sets up their inflatable big screen for a screening of the most recent Star Wars film, The Force Awakens, for stressed-out NVC students studying for finals and everyone else who loves outdoor movies. Come early for a costume contest, trivia contest and to see who can do the best Chewie call. Moviegoers will receive free “lightsabers” and capes while supplies last.

Spaceballs Quote-Along • Free (with purchase of $5 food/beverage voucher) • 7:30pm • Alamo Drafthouse Park North • 618 NW Loop 410 Star Wars on Star Wars Day is too obvious for you? Instead, sit in for a quote-along screening of Mel Brooks’ 1987 spoof starring Bill Pullman, Rick Moranis and the late John Candy. Sponsored by Alamo City Comic Con, the event will include some fun swag: Schwartz rings, combs (“We ain’t found shit!”) and noisemakers.

“May the 4th Be With You” Coding Event • Free • 5:30-8pm • Microsoft Store at La Cantera • 15900 La Cantera Pkwy., Suite 6560

•Page 22 from top: Bobey by Breaking T; Spurs Yoda by John Valle; Pop Yoda and Timmy Kenobi by Aaron Preine; Rebel pilot Danny Green by Aaron Preine.

Page 23 from top: Obi-Wan Ginobili by 713shirts.com; Spur Wars by Aaron Preine.

Kids of all ages are invited to a special event that will teach them how to code with the newest Star Wars droid BB-8. There will also be a crafts area to create your own lightsaber, plenty of snacks to keep your energy high as you battle the Empire and some special guest appearances.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 23 ►

sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 21

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ARTS + CULTURE

•Spurs praying hands by Robert Tatum; Darth Leonard by 713shirts.com

“Star Wars Day” X-Wing Learn-toPlay Event • Free • 7pm • Barnes and Noble • All locations Gamers are encouraged to come out for a demonstration on how to play this miniature war board game set in the Star Wars universe. After training, challenge other players to some space combat. There will also be trivia contests and Star Wars chess. “With the release of [The Force Awakens], Star Wars mania is high, said Debra Castañon, community business development manager for Barnes and Noble. “We have a lot of staff and customers who are huge fans.”

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“May the Fourth” Golf Tournament: Episode XXIV • $125 (individual registration fee) • 11:30am - 6pm The Republic Golf Club • 4226 SE Military Drive The South San Antonio Chamber of Commerce presents this Star Warsthemed tournament, which includes a silent auction and prizes. Registration is at 11:30 a.m.; Lunch at noon; Shotgun Start at 1 p.m.; Awards and dinner at 5:30 p.m. (dinner only $25).

“Of all the Star Wars characters, Hans Solo would be the best golfer,” said Al Arreola Jr., president and CEO of SSACC. “That is, of course, [if] there is no Jedi trickery going on.”

◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 21

“May the 4th” Science and Technology Celebration • Free 6:30-8:30pm • Scobee Education Center and Planetarium at San Antonio College • 1300 San Pedro Ave. Join San Antonio District 1 Councilman Roberto “Han Solo” Treviño as he uses the Force to help show middle school students how important reading, science, math and technology are in today’s world. Along with Star Wars-themed snacks and an arts and crafts area, there will be a special reading courtesy of Bibliotech, activities with the YMCA and a planetarium screening at 7:30 p.m.

RSVP at maythe4thsa.eventbrite.com.

“May the Fourth Be With You” Hop Solo Glass Night • Free entry • 8pm • Big Hops Bitters • 226 W. Bitters Road, Suite 108 Get hopped up on the craft beer Hop Solo, which will be on tap for what Big Hops is calling “the best party the galaxy has ever seen.” After throwing back a few, restore balance to the Force by playing Star Wars Battlefront on the big screen.

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DANSKO DAYS! Our Dansko Rep will donate $5 to the Texas Land Conservancy for every pair of Dansko shoes sold at Whole Earth from May 6 – 15.

May the 4th The Force Awakens Movie Night • Free entry • 8pm • Ranger Creek Brewing & Distilling 4834 Whirlwind Drive Enjoy an outdoor screening of The Force Awakens. Special Star Warsthemed cocktails will be available for purchase and the best costume will win a special prize.

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ARTS + CULTURE

“Joe Barber” turns heads with Spurs portraits

MICHAEL MARKS

FADEAWAY MICHAEL MARKS/@MICHAELPMARKS

Early one morning at his West Side home in the early 1990s, 12-year-old Joe Barajas flipped on the TV to watch his two favorite Saturday morning shows: X-Men and Inside Stuff, the weekly basketball news magazine.

Barajas had no idea he’d find his professional calling during his Saturday morning ritual — much less on the side of Anthony Mason’s head.

But shaved into the New York Knick forward’s hair was the Inside Stuff logo. Mason did this often, sometimes with his nickname, “Mase,” or with the Knicks logo. Barajas hadn’t seen it before, though, and he was captivated. He took his little brother and a pair of cheap clippers into the bathroom and set to work.

“I cut out the Dream Team logo on his head,” Barajas said. “It looked good — well, it looked decent. It didn’t look perfect.”

Barajas didn’t know it at the time, but that Saturday morning experiment was a precursor to how he’d make his living. Known professionally as “Joe Barber,” Barajas is acclaimed for creating portraits of Spurs players on his customers’ heads. It’s a unique, if ephemeral, kind of art that allows Barajas to combine his two passions: cutting hair and the Spurs.

Barajas remembers his mom buying him “Midwest Division Champions” T-shirts in the mid-’90s. He abhors bandwagon fans and division rivals alike, once turning down $500 for a Dirk Nowitzki portrait.

“I said, ‘I’m sorry, it’s not the money. It’s the principle.’ I’m a Spurs fan. I’ve been a Spurs fan since 1988,” he said.

After a bumpy road sleeping on friends’ couches, cutting hair for $10 a pop, and packing chips for Frito Lay to put himself through barber college, Barajas cut his first Spurs portrait in 2006. That was back when the Spurs had just three championship banners in the rafters and Tony Parker, his first subject, was named to his first of six All-Star Game appearances.

Tired of cutting the same designs over and over — stars, swirls, the occasional sneaker logo — Barajas wanted a way to stand out. He found it in the sports section of the newspaper.

“I was reading the paper with my friend, and I told him ‘I think I can do this [Tony Parker] picture on your head,’” Barajas said. “He started laughing, and I said ‘Seriously, I can separate the three colors, white, black and gray on hair. So he said, ‘Well do it, and if you don’t like it we’ll just cut my hair bald.’”

That was over 10 years and 200 portraits ago. The look was a hit. Demand, and Barajas’ career, took off.

The buzz his work creates on social media helps him regularly land national attention. ESPN, broadcast

•

“Joe Barber” at TDK Boutique

television networks, Yahoo! and dozens of other media outlets have featured his portraits. He won $15,000 on an episode of the now-canceled Cedric’s Barber Battle, which briefly ran last year on The CW. He appeared in a commercial for the New York Rangers, in which hockey players pose for him while he shaves their likeness onto fans’ heads.

While going viral is good for his bottom line, Barajas says it’s never his intent. Such buzz is valuable in an industry that’s big on one-upmanship and innovation, but he’s more interested in connecting with his community and providing a one-of-a-kind experience to customers.

“It’s great for me because now I feel like I have a stamp on my city,” Barajas said. “It’s not about the money, it’s not about the TV or any of that stuff. It’s about knowing that I’m connected to something I’ve been supporting for so long.”

Barajas’ portrait process starts with him searching for the “perfect image” of the Spur he’ll portray. Then he maps out how it will fit on his customer’s head — where to position it, how much space it will take up. Once he’s got a plan, he sketches it out in white eyeliner, starting from the nose and the eyes and then branching out to the rest of the face. He takes care to measure as he goes, making sure that the proportions from ear to ear, from eye to

nose, from nose to chin, are all accurate.

A two-hour portrait session costs about $100. The finished product lasts between five and seven days, depending on how fast one’s hair grows. And even though Barajas has now cut hundreds of them, the thrill of creating a one-of-a-kind, temporary piece of art for doesn’t go away.

“I’m a perfectionist so I still don’t feel like I’ve done the perfect portrait yet, but I’ve gotten real close. I always feel like I can do better,” he said.

His best yet? In Barajas’ opinion, it’s a recent piece: A massive rendition of a selfie the Spurs took in April 2014.

It included 12 different faces and wrappped from one side of the customer’s head to the other. To do it, Barajas studied dozens of images to understand the dimensions of each face and how they’d fit together. The cut itself took eight hours to complete.

It’s the kind of challenge that Barajas seeks out now. Although his portraits have won him respect and success, he says he’s still driven to create new art, to find new hills and then climb them. He’s got banners in the rafters, but he’d like to add a few more.

A little bit like his favorite team. mmarks@sacurrent.com sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 25

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ARTS + CULTURE

TIME-TESTED

Classic comedy Born Yesterday remains surprisingly relevant today STEVEN G. KELLMAN

Born Yesterday was not itself born yesterday. Garson Kanin’s comedy of boorish manners entered the world in 1946 and ran on Broadway for more than 13 months. It enjoyed a Broadway revival in 1989, again in 2011. It was adapted for film twice, in 1950 and 1993, and has been a staple of regional theaters for the past 60 years.

So, though it lacks the pedigree of Medea, which The Classic Theatre staged last fall, or The Tempest, scheduled for next winter, Born Yesterday qualifies as a minor American classic; it has stood the test of time, albeit measured in decades, not centuries. The sad wonder is how timely this tale of political corruption remains in 2016.

Though the $235/night that he pays Co-stars Hayley Burnside and Greg Hinjosa for a hotel room no longer evokes the awe it would have in 1946, the wealthy, boastful businessman who journalist, $200 a week “to show her the comes to the nation’s capital intent ropes.” Soon, Billie is quaffing quantities on asserting his control might have of high culture, falling for Paul and stepped out of the current presidential turning the tables on Harry. Watching campaign. With a ludicrous coiffure a blustering, misogynistic brute get his and Jersey accent, Greg Hinojosa’s comeuppance is almost as satisfying in Harry Brock, a self-made bully who May as it might be in November. rails against regulations and thinks Director Matthew Byron Cassi’s he can buy anything, seems modeled staging is never less than entertaining, after a certain contemporary candidate. his cast never less than equal to their With Eddie Brock, his factotum and task. Vamping, ogling and cavorting, enforcer (Gabriel Sanchez), and Ed Hayley Burnside’s Billie chews the Devery, the servile, self-hating attorney scenery along with her gum. Like Eliza (Byrd Bonner) who has jettisoned his Doolittle, she traverses a trajectory principles for a $100,000 retainer, Mr. from lowly victim to classy victor. In the Brock goes to Washington to procure play’s clunky and predictable second legal cover for a scrap metal scam. act, Nick Lawson’s righteous Paul, “You’re not couth,” says Billie Dawn looking, in his black-framed glasses, to Harry, who pays to keep her in his a bit like Clark Kent, rallies Billie to entourage and bed and retorts: enlightenment and civic virtue.

“I’m couther than you are.”

Born Yesterday was born Billie, who fractures English during the postwar surge in Born Yesterday $10-$25 as readily as she snaps her higher education, when Harry’s 8pm Fri-Sat, 3pm Sun chewing gum, is initially declaration: “There’s nothing The Classic Theatre content to be a ditzy moll: “I’m you can tell me that I need Blackbox Theatre at the Woodlawn stupid, and I like it.” However, to know,” seemed arrogantly 1924 Fredericksburg Road un-American. A resurgence of Billie’s backwardness (210) 589-8450 embarrasses Harry, and he proud ignorance makes Harry classictheatre.org pays Paul Verrall, an idealistic Through May 22 our contemporary.

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SCREENS

HBO

•

A table of the stars of HBO’s Silicon Valley

TECHNICALLY SOUND HBO’s Silicon Valley continues solid comedy run with season three CODY VILLAFANA

From its premiere at SXSW, it was apparent that HBO’s Silicon Valley had a clear understanding of the tech world. With its creator Mike Judge (Office Space) having spent some time in that realm, the first season used technical accuracy, smart writing and well-defined characters to poke fun at the world of start-ups and technology. As season two progressed, it became clear that Silicon Valley was one of the funniest comedies on TV. With season three in our midst, it also looks to become one of the best.

Without question, the strong suit of Silicon Valley is its ensemble cast. There aren’t any heavy hitters, but Thomas Middleditch is a great, vulnerable lead as protagonist Richard Hendricks and is rounded out with fantastic comedic talent in TJ Miller, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr and the show’s secret weapon, Zach Woods. Their chemistry immediately clicked and the character roles became almost instantly defined and established, making the world of Silicon Valley easy to step into.

The show has been able to skewer the inflated selfimportance of the tech world while also adding a sense of absurdity to the direction in which it’s growing. Its

tone is an equal balance of intelligence and trademark stupidity of Judge’s style. Episodes can contain ridiculous elements, such as a man trapped on an island in a selfdriving car, next to a dick joke so complex that an actual academic paper exists to prove its accuracy.

Season two ended with an anxiety-filled court decision to see if the company at the center of the show, Pied Piper, would be able to keep the compression algorithm that set them apart from everyone else. Turns out they did, but CEO and founder Hendricks found himself out as chief executive officer. Season three picks up with Hendricks being asked to downgrade to chief technology officer in order to bring someone else in to run the company.

The first three episodes waste no time in picking up the tone of the series. Every character falls into place as you’d expect and the laughs are consistent. As Hendricks slowly agrees to his new role, he once again sees the vision and capabilities of his dream becoming compromised. From there, the team must come up with a way to save the integrity of Pied Piper from becoming a profit-driven product that short changes the consumer.

The challenge that Silicon Valley faces as it progresses into its third season is that of narrative stagnation.

Throughout the course of the series, many of the events have been about how a group of loveable losers continue to lose. From that standpoint, the show faces the issue of becoming overly repetitive.

The third episode of this upcoming season flirts with a new idea of sorts. It puts the gang and its leader in a position to try to pull a fast one and insert a well-thoughtout kink into the fold. In the episode’s closing moments, it goes just about how you’d expect, which is fine, for the sake of comedy. But for the sake of story, it would be nice to see something a little different.

The best episodes of the series have been those in which the team has found their way to some success in spite of all odds. Not so coincidentally, they have both come at the end of their respective seasons. If the formula becomes “beat these guys up until you give them a small win in the finale,” Silicon Valley can still remain a solid show and certainly one of the funniest on TV. Silicon Valley airs on HBO Sundays at 9 p.m. sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 29

PRESENTS

June 7 & 8

June 14 & 15

June 21 & 22

June 28 & 29

July 12 & 13

July 19 & 20

July 26 & 27

30 CURRENT • May 4—May 10, 2016 • sacurrent.com

August 2 & 3

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SCREENS

GRAMERCYPICTURES

MORE MEH THAN META

Ratchet & Clank pulls from all the right sources and still gets it wrong

MARYANN JOHANSON

Ah, so there’s my answer, once again.

I was wondering how that standard movie philosophy still applied to me. I approached Ratchet & Clank with great anticipation. Can I do anything?

Can I be anything I want to be? Am I destined for greatness, to save the world or even the whole galaxy, even if I am a foolhardy, thoughtless, unfocused screwup with almost nothing to my name but some undisciplined smarts and outsized aspirations of grandeur?

And the answer is still no. Not for the likes of me, anyway, because I am female.

The 187,943rd iteration of that standard Hollywood cliché, once again, reassures me that only boys need apply for the land of great destinies. Boys that don’t even need to be human boys, as R&C reminds us. You can be a lombax — a sort of half-fox, half-cat vaguely humanoid alien biped — and still presume you are destined for greatness, despite all the evidence to the contrary, and have your ridiculous presumption confirmed 94 minutes later. Just like the lombax Ratchet (the voice of James Arnold Taylor), who hails from a PlayStation videogame series that debuted in 2002 and is generically reminiscent of the incredibly popular videogame hero Sonic the Hedgehog, though I’m sure that’s pure coincidence.

“Based on the best-selling videogame” is a warning, not an enticement. It’s cute how Hollywood doesn’t realize that.

And another thing: “Unlikely hero” no longer means what Hollywood thinks it means. Characters like Ratchet are now seen as a likely, tedious sort of hero. Tiresome. Time to change the record.

Ratchet is a mechanic on planet whatever, where he does things like soup up an elderly generic alien’s space car with mods that are totally uncalled for and recklessly dangerous, because that’s how he rolls — isn’t he awesome? That Ratchet is not actually awesome appears to escape everyone, such as director and cowriter Kevin Munroe. But Ratchet is a boy, and the movie is about him, so

presumptions of awesomeness hover around him, regardless. And never mind that the test drive of these unrequested mods with the elderly alien — a paying customer, mind you, who I hope will refuse to pony up for work he did not ask for — is like a rip-off of the pod-racing sequence from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace.

I mean, literally, do not mind this: I surmise that this is a feature, not a bug.

Because most of the rest of Ratchet’s adventure will be hugely derivative of the Star Wars prequels. The first of which came out just a few years before the videogame that inspired this movie. (I use the word “inspired” loosely. Actual creative inspiration is not a thing that came anywhere near to infecting this flick.) But what a bizarre choice to stick with the visual ethos that may have informed the game, a decade and a half later, and in full knowledge of how the gamers who must surely constitute this movie’s sole demographic have come to despise Lucas’ self-indulgent prequels.

To be fair, late-’90s and early 2000s era Star Wars is not only the far-better franchise stolen from here. (And yes, even given the problems with those SW flicks, they are still more entertaining than this.) The big bad villain — Chairman Drek (the voice of Paul Giamatti) — may look like an underwater-dwelling Gungan from The Phantom Menace, but his planet-destroying weapon is like the Death Star, which is from a totally different series, the original Star Wars trilogy. And the head of the villain-fighting superhero group that Ratchet wants in on (and which he, of course, manages to triumph among), known as the Galactic Rangers, Captain Qwark (the voice of Jim Ward), is stolen from further afield: he’s comic, cartoon and live-action super anti-hero The Tick crossed with Futurama’s Zapp Brannigan. Toss in some Strauss musical cues meant to invoke 2001: A Space Odyssey and you have a movie that — and I’m being generous here — might think it’s meta but is nothing more than meh.

Ratchet & Clank (PG) 94 min. Dir. Kevin Munroe and Jericca Cleland; writ. Kevin Munroe, T.J. Fixman, Gerry Swallow; feat. Bella Thorne, Sylvester Stallone, James Arnold Taylor, John Goodman, Paul Giamatti, Jim Ward. Ratchet & Clank opened nationwide April 29. H

sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 33

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FOOD

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Edera shows potential with simple hits, few misses

Here’s what the writer would like to see as a headline: “Former Rose Shop Blossoms Anew as Inventive Spanish-Italian Restaurant.”

Here’s what’s closer to the truth: “Former Florist’s Yields Some Roses, Some Daisies in its Transformation from Flowers to Food.”

The team behind Edera is certainly capable of only blossoming roses. Partner Cesar Amadore, formerly of Andrew Weissman’s operations at the Pearl, has brought with him several servers. And, though he had a brief stopover at Brigid, top chef Chris Carlson, previously at Sandbar, is also on board.

But if much of the front of the house has worked together before, and the service shows it, the same might not be said of the kitchen. The possible result is a little unevenness in what lands deftly on your table.

A lunchtime-only pizza, for example, was exquisite.

Called the quartirolo after a mellow Italian cheese from Lombardy, the pie is alive with the silvery flashes of white anchovies, sharp with peppery arugula and regal with its crown of perfectly fried egg. Calamari alla romana, on the other hand, were ordered largely because of a claim of preserved lemon — an ingredient that would take them out of the ordinary. As expected, the calamari were impeccably fried and their diavola sauce was sufficiently devilish. But the preserved lemon turned out to be fine slivers of salted lemon zest — not a disaster but certainly a disappointment.

Edera’s dining space comes across a little spartan by day, but at night the place takes on a more intimate air — especially in the intermediate dining space with its lower ceiling. Prices on equivalent items don’t change de noche, but the selection is naturally larger. Gambas a la plancha are one plus of after-dark dining. Served with head and tail on, these impressive shrimp are worth every effort; their messy succulence

accented with peppery oil and slivered garlic. In such company, I would normally not have thought of ordering the unassuming bruschetta alla Edera. But it turns out that this supremely simple appetizer with toasted baguette, tomato compote and garlicky oil, is a perfect prelude to the meal to come. If the staff should offer additional balsamic, say yes.

Also assumed to be simple are gnocchi. But as one of my more notable kitchen failures, I’m especially attuned to their texture. Where these should have been pillowy, they were instead doughy. Their secondary sautéeing was nevertheless faultless, and although we didn’t get a lot of the advertised sage, the “alla bava” (basically “slobbery”) sauce with fontina cheese was luxurious to the point of lasciviousness. Also the essence of simplicity (and a Roman standby) is the bavette (a thin, flat pasta) cacio y pepe, counting for its appeal on an artful blending of cheese and showers of black pepper. Next time.

Dining at a nearby table, an off-duty local chef of serious renown gave the grilled salmon two thumbs up, and his word can be trusted — not the least because Carlson once helmed the city’s best seafood restaurant.

With that same reputation in mind we considered ordering the market-priced baked lubina (seabass) but decided against it on learning the price: $45. Instead, we ordered the special of the day — a sautéed snapper fillet with an array of sidekick components. “Everything tastes exactly like what it is,” my dining companion said,

herself the product of a Hispano-Italian home kitchen.

Some might take this as a compliment, others might have wished for more transformation in the blending of fennel, onion, nappa cabbage, artichoke hearts and assertively al-dente yet brothy cannellini beans that buoyed the excellent fish. Served in classy Riedel glassware, a beautiful Burgundian Chablis from a wine list that’s fairly priced served as a willing consort.

Even experienced dining companions sometimes turn up their noses at rabbit. But conejo shouldn’t be shunned just because you can’t help but think of Thumper. Turns out the lethal weapons were not required as the braised Texas rabbit was exceptionally tender. The expected acidy tang of an advertised wine vinaigrette sauce may have been soft-pedalled, but only the bones betrayed the dish’s bunny-based origin.

Desserts are by Amadore’s wife, making this even more of a family venture — and they helped the evening end on a decided crescendo. A beautifully moist and cocoa-dusted tiramisu gave this often offhand dessert back its good name, and a crema Catalana, shatteringly sugar-glazed as though it wanted to be a crème brûlée, was suave and subtly flavored with orange. A glass of spicy Jules Taylor late-harvest sauvignon blanc sent us out into the balmy night with a springy step and a vow to return for the roses that will surely unfold with time.

Modest but honest margaritas (the flower, not the drink) won’t be shunned, either.

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42 CURRENT • May 4—May 10, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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•Jordan Corney and Patron’s Margarita of the Year, The Rosa Picante

Cocktail historian David Wondrich calls the Tequila Daisy the “pre-Margarita.” His version (just one of many) of the drink — allegedly invented by an Irish bartender in Tijuana, no less — calls only for reposado tequila, lime juice and good grenadine. No orange liqueur. A little sparkling water tops it off. This leaves the door

wide open for all kinds of variations on the tequila and citrus theme.

So we might as well step through as we celebrate Cinco de Mayo this week. Bohanan’s (219 E. Houston St., 210-472-2600) bar manager Jordan Corney certainly did. Besting six others, his creation, The Rosa Picante, was just announced as Tequila Patron’s Margarita of the Year. It follows what has come to be the standard format (tequila, lime juice, citrus liqueur) but makes several changes that apparently impressed the voters. In lieu of orange liqueur, Patron’s Citrónge Lime; both ginger syrup and jalapeño oil up the spice quotient (and luxe up the texture) and rose water adds an exotic, floral note to the margarita that is repeated in the rose petal and salt rim.

Corney says he “wanted to pay homage to everyone before us that made great cocktails.”

We don’t contend here that he had the Nahuas or Aztecs in mind — distillation came to Mexico only after Cortez. But the ancients were surely high into fermentation. Chicha and tepache utilized native corn, for example, with pineapple only later becoming the base of choice for tepache. At Mezcalería Mixtli (5313 McCullough Ave., 210-320-1660), bar manager Edgar Najera has concocted a tall drink he calls Nahua Tepachico (pictured left), and it uses pineapple and maiz morado fermented together in a kind of homage to the past purple. Both tequila reposado and mezcal are the heavy hitters, sweetness is added by equally ancient piloncillo, and the icy drink is topped off with a splash of Topo Chico in the manner of the Tijuana Daisy.

The drink is mellow and hauntingly fruity.

Keeping orange-less origins in mind, CONTINUED ON PAGE 45 ►

<

SPICY WATERMELON MARGARITA (based on a recipe in Imbibe magazine)

INGREDIENTS

TRY THIS DRINK AT HOME

10 ¼ inch cubes of fresh watermelon 1/3 to ½ sliced serrano chile, seeds removed if desired 1 ½ ounces fresh lime juice 1 ounce fresh watermelon juice (whiz watermelon in blender, strain through fine sieve) 2 ounces silver tequila 1 ounce simple syrup (1:1) or agave syrup Splash of orange liqueur such as Cointreau

DIRECTIONS

Muddle watermelon cubes and chile in a shaker, add remaining ingredients, fill tin with ice, shake seriously, strain into ice-filled Collins glass. Garnish with skewered watermelon cubes. (Alternatively, just pour the contents of the shaker directly into the glass and add extra ice if needed.)

43 CURRENT • May 4—May 10, 2016 • sacurrent.com

sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 43

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44 CURRENT • May 4—May 10, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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NIGHTLIFE

•

Mexican Firing Squad

◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 43

•Saints Among Sinners

THE CERVEZARITA

The Mexican Firing Squad (discovered in Mexico City by another cocktail writer and historian, Charles H. Baker, in the 1930s) is much like Wondrich’s Daisy in that it includes tequila, lime juice and grenadine — the essential difference being a bold five dashes of Angostura bitters. Soda water or ginger beer is sometimes added as a topper. At Omni La Mansion’s (112 College St., 210-518-1000) newly reimagined El Colegio bar, liberties are taken that push the drink back more in the direction of today’s marg — the essential color is retained with strawberries, infused jalapeños give the tequila an explosive kick and agave syrup adds the sweetness that grenadine would otherwise have added.

Two kinds of bitters are essential to an Esquire Tavern (155 E. Commerce St., 210-2222521) drink that has its roots in two classics — the Margarita/ Daisy and the Old Fashioned.

Called simply the Tequila Old Fashioned and served over a hefty ice cube, the drink consists of añejo tequila, Combier orange liqueur and both Angostura and xocolatl mole bitters. There’s no lime, but there is a slab of orange peel, while grapefruit zest and

INGREDIENTS

a spoonful of mezcal are floated on top. The result is a drink that’s both deep and bright, with the zest and smoky mezcal hitting the nose first. It’s not on the menu, but “anyone can do it” says bartender Hillary Woodhouse.

Stephan Mendez, beverage director and head cocktitler (he comes up with the edgy, sometimes enigmatic names, in other words) for The Boulevardier Group bars, has recently added Saints Among Sinners to his list at The Last Word (229 E. Houston St., 210-314-1285).

Considering that mezcal is the large umbrella under which tequila is a subset, his use of that ancient liquor is another wayback ploy. A dry Curaçao from Pierre Ferrand keeps the orange idea alive; lime maintains acidity; and simple syrup infused for 24 hours with Old Bay seasoning adds spicy/herbal complexity.

This drink reads (and looks) disarmingly like a classic marg, right down to the “Aztec mole salt” on the rim, but it’s, in fact, much more complex.

For all of the above drinks, you are encouraged to sample at their bars of origin. Should you also want to play a little at home, here are a couple of recipes to get you started.

<

2 ounces silver tequila ¾ ounce orange liqueur such as Cointreau 1 ounce fresh lime juice 4 ounces Mexican beer such as Modelo Especial or Pacifico

TRY THIS EASY DRINK AT HOME

DIRECTIONS

Coat rim of Collins glass with coarse salt if desired, then fill with ice. Add tequila, orange liqueur and lime to ice-filled shaker. Shake. Strain into glass, top with beer and garnish with a wheel of lime.

sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 45

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MUSIC

GABRIELLA MATA

• Wells, Carrillo, Willams and Hicks.

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BLACK CURTAIN CALL Reflecting on The Ten Eleven JAMES COURTNEY

The Ten Eleven is dead.

That beloved DIY bastion of sweaty rock 'n’ roll, no bullshit camaraderie, all ages shows and well-priced beer, which, for eight years existed as San Antonio’s most authentic go-to for live music, local and otherwise, has officially begun serious renovations under new ownership. That the new owner, local musician Michael Carrillo (Deer Vibes, Michael J. & The Foxes), has, from the very beginning, back in 2008, been something of an understudy to The Ten Eleven’s original owners — bros-for-life Brandon Hicks, Colin Wells and Jordan Williams — is certainly cause for hope moving forward.

Nevertheless, changes are coming. Carrillo told the San Antonio Current that he aims to keep some of the flavor of the old Ten Eleven while giving it a new name and attracting new clientele to the booming Museum Reach of the River Walk. High priorities for Carrillo at the moment include air-conditioning, a paint job (goodbye, blood red walls), a liquor license and a change in approach from night-time show spot to full-time bar that also boasts live music. Essentially, according to Carrillo, the changes in the area and in the city’s nightlife needs, in general, have rendered The Ten Eleven, as it was, untenable. His goal is to get with the times and to expand and diversify the place’s niche, while also sticking with the music

scene that made The Ten Eleven so badass to begin with.

As we anticipate something new, it’s only right that we give voice to the three ballsy dudes who thought, at young ages, that it might be fun to start a DIY music venue. We spoke to Hicks, Wells and Williams about the venue’s beginnings, its travails and its legacy. Here are some highlights of those exchanges to help us remember what was.

On The Ten Eleven’s beginnings • Hicks: “As the years passed, playing in bands and working at venues, we noticed that all of the cool venues seemed to have a pretty limited shelf life. All of that upheaval had a noticeably bad impact on local music. [Williams] and I were in punk bands together for the better part of a decade going into this, and [Wells] was his roommate. So in late 2007, we decided that we should start our own venue so that bands had a consistent place to play. By February 2008, we had one.”

business when you have multiple partners. We never let it get the best of us, though."

On The Ten Eleven’s legacy • Hicks: “That’s not something I have spent any time thinking about, honestly ... When we announced that we were closing, the outpouring of kindness and support was pretty overwhelming. I knew people thought our little dive was cool, but that was awesome. I had no idea so many people cared THAT much. The fact that people associated our business with something positive in their lives is very special.”

Williams: “I’ve never really considered it. It’s nice to think about, though. I suppose we aimed to prove that a venue by the bands and for the bands could exist and thrive. I think we did that.”

On the hardest part of running the venue • Hicks: “[The hardest part was] keeping up with a constantly changing music scene.

Since [we opened], we have seen so many places come and go. Each one has peeled off just enough of our clientele to make it harder and harder to operate.”

True to the form they exhibited throughout their eight-year run, and the form that was on full, admirable display throughout the place’s final weekend of shows (back on April 1 and 2), music and the communities that make it and love it are still paramount to these guys. See you in the future, boys, let’s hope your attitude lives on at 1011 Avenue B and everywhere else where music, for its own sake, is permitted to matter just a little bit more than anything else.

Williams: “Collectively, I’d say communication. That happens in

For the full interview with the trio, visit sacurrent.com.

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DOORS 6PM / SHOW 9PM - ALL AGES Saturday, May 7th Comedy AF! Presents

MIKE MACRAE

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15403 White Fawn Dr. 48 CURRENT • May 4—May 10, 2016 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

AURAL PLEASURE

// 3 reviews of 3 releases

GARRETT T. CAPPS Y Los Lonely Hipsters // Suburban Haste Recordings // Released April 21

→ Y Los Lonely Hipsters is the first full-length from SA native Garrett T. Capps, who has spent years perfecting his delirious and engaging imperfection — from one-man full throttle punk rock to twangy country rock, singer-songwriter jaunts and bruising hardcountry stomp. This album, recorded with a crack band featuring Odie (Buttercup), Phil Luna (The Please Help, Royal Punisher) and Scott Lutz (Snowbyrd), proves an impressive amalgamation and distillation of all that Capps has done, live and in the studio, to date.

Album opener “Bitchin’,” a country song that comes off, in part, like a realist’s lost response to Johnny Paycheck’s hit “Take This Job and Shove it,” is one of two sweet proletarian anthems here, the other being the furious rumination on ubiquitous marginalization “Don’t Come Around Here.” The track is an ode to the kind of steely resignation that attends workaday life for so many who know all too well that “bitchin’ and moanin’” won’t pay the bills.

Other album standouts include “Road for Days,” a searing, stream-of-consciousness southern rock track that feels like Bob Dylan on tequila and shitty cocaine, and the glorious heart of the album “Born in San Antone,” a rollicking, talking blues-rock sizzler that name checks SA staples as disparate as USAA, Flaco Jimenez, lengua, Matt Bonner (and several other Spurs) and Hogwild Records.

Y Los Lonely Hipsters is the sound of all those nights (and days) you can’t remember, gacho lost on the River Walk, high on mighty talk about how big ol’ vatos balk at a fist fight, or just might make good on helping you find out if the river water tastes good.

It’s more of a stream (of consciousness) than a river, more of a shack than a mansion, but it reaches heaven, ringing hell’s bells anyhow. Ain’t that just like San Antone? –James Courtney

BACKBONES

American Songs From Different Rooms Vol. 1 Self-released // Released April 18

→ The newest Backbones release, with its stellar song selection of six classic country and folk pieces, is an equally lofty and approachable endeavor; people always want to hear stuff with which they’re familiar. Bandleader Andrew Suhre, who recorded the tunes over two years, released this statement with the EP via the group’s Bandcamp: "This will be an ongoing album that I’ll continue to update with more songs as I record and move room to room over the future months, years, etc. (In the least pretentioussounding way possible, like Whitman’s “Leaves of Grass”).

As of now, here’s the beginning of Volume I." A touch of the folk tradition in the 21st century. An ever-expanding album of standards. A great fucking idea. Like Dylan’s Bootleg Series, or cover record Self Portrait, for that matter, without all the pesky fame and fortune to get in the way.

The track list is impeccably chosen. Might as well aim high in the high and lonesome catalog of brow and trail-beaten tunes. From the opener “If I Needed You,” a Townes Van Zandt cut that hurts in all the best ways; the Ted Daffan number “Born to Lose” that Ray Charles did a number on; the Bacharach-penned, Shirelles-owned heartbreaker “Baby It’s You;” a re-working of the Blake Alphonso Higgs-attributed “Delia’s Gone,” but sang and noted as “Jelia’s Gone;” and Warren Zevon’s “Rosarita

Beach Café” through Johnny Cash’s “Cry! Cry! Cry!” As for the execution, much like Van Zandt, Suhre’s main talent lies in his playing. The vocals … not so much.

However, again like Townes, Neil, Leonard, Lou and Bob, if you can get past the lack of “prettiness,” past the flats, sharps, warbles and waves, a great offering from a stellar performer awaits; old folk songs, like old friends, waiting to be picked up and sung again. –Travis Buffkin

BLACKBIRD SING Cinco // Bonus Cup Music Released May 5

→ When Stuart Sikes, the producer behind Cat Power’s The Greatest and engineer on Loretta Lynn’s Van Lear Rose, works on a record, you know it’s gonna sound good. However, Sikes doesn’t write the songs and anyone that can afford his fee can get the Austin Grammy-winner to run the boards for them, as is the standard operating procedure of most studio aficionados.

That being said, Blackbird Sing has got a great sounding Americana record. It’s mixed well, the instruments are all decipherable, the lyrics aren’t shallow tripe. Shit just doesn’t stick. Recorded in cinco days, the cinco-song EP from the cinco San Antonians, written over a cinco-year span, is just OK. I’m not compelled to toss the EP — a mix between a lukewarm Brad Paisley joint or a handful of Mavericks c-sides with a touch of the radio-friendly rock that San Antonio holds so dear — into the trash. I’m not compelled to press play again once it’s over, either. Better to split the difference and give it to your John Michael Montgomery-loving cousin with the bedazzled jeans, tell her to be careful, it’s pretty rocking. –TB sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 49

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2 6 1 0 8 ov e r l o o k p k w y s a n a nto nio, tx 50 CURRENT • May 4—May 10, 2016 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

SKEISVOLL PHOTOGRAPHY

STOP POKING THE STAPP How Scott Stapp made me a better person

TRAVIS BUFFKIN/@DTBUFFKIN

I must admit, I wanted a crazy diatribe on the spooks following Scott Stapp, the black helicopters circling the former Creed singer’s every movement; from the closest equivalent of the Cobalt Club to the zooted-up, ’roided-out d-list celebrity appearances (read: Orlando stripper’s 16th birthday party). I wanted a train wreck of a man to break down, freak out, gnash his teeth, pull out his hair. To, basically, behave the way that he did after the breakup of his slightly Christian post-grunge group. Accounts that we may not know to be true but have entered into the pop culture consciousness as fact because it’s fucked. And that’s fucked.

The aura surrounding Stapp, particularly in the increasingly cutthroat realm of internet gossip, is that of a pre-Nickelback Chad Kroeger. As the former singer for Creed, Stapp’s slightly secular lyrics, often challenging the biblical narrative that seemed to follow the band like an obnoxious, friendless Holy Ghost, painted him as the jaded son of the overzealous pastor at Bible camp, the kid who challenges the youth leader’s every attempt to unite the children around rope courses, renditions of “Michael, Row the Boat Ashore” and your pal “J-to-the-C.” Stapp's popularity post-Creed seemed based solely on his decline into hard drugs, manic episodes and poverty; a washed-up lunatic.

And this is not who Stapp is. I mean, maybe it is. I don’t know the guy. But it’s who we, the media and pop culture, the same spectacle that once championed the man when he was filling industry pockets, want us to think he is.

“I think social media plays a big part in a new expectation that fans have from their pop stars. I think they want a tremendous amount of access. And, you know, really want to know every detail of your life. And not just what you present,” Stapp said in a phone conversation with the San Antonio Current.

Stapp expounds: “I think personal lives have become also another form of entertainment that these younger pop stars are using to cultivate and stay connected to their fan bases, and that’s extremely different than when I was doing my thing.”

That’s what pop culture feeds on, after all. It makes icons out of those it aims to eventually offer back to us as pitiful poster children for ego gone awry. The famous personalities; once yesterday’s entrée, now today’s excrement. Perfect fodder for the faceless lambasting, celebrity cyber-bullying that hides behind the shallow reasoning of, “Well, they’re rich and famous, that’s what they get.”

•

A contemplative Stapp

“I can’t say that suffering has made me a better artist, caught myself trying to exploit someone’s struggle. but it’s definitely impacted my art. How could it not?”

“I still think there’s a tremendous stigma out there in the Stapp asked rhetorically. “With the themes and the general public and a tremendous amount of pre-judging content being drawn from my life, it’s inevitably impacted … I think that things are changing slowly … I think that what I talk about in my songs and the moods and the the more people that come out and share the truth about vibes of some of the music, but, definitely, I would trade it their lives, I think that that will help continue to break all away to not have had to live it.” down the walls and break down the stigmas,” Stapp said.

What’s truly bothersome, and is indicative of a larger He has done just that. Do I like his music? Nope. But cultural flaw, is that we often don’t even address the I did. I once dug it so much that I screeched it at the music. Granted, we are being sold a lifestyle with Stapp, top of my pre-pubescent vocal cords at a summer camp just like every artist before and after. However, that image talent show. And so did many of you. Is it fun to make fun is projected through a giant public relations machine. At of music we find shitty? The most fun. However, tearing what point do we draw the line and say, OK, making fun of down someone for behavior that is indicative of a larger somebody’s wack-ass tunes is totally kosher but kicking a problem, or, more simply, someone who is clearly in pain, human being, one who has been diagnosed with bipolar is negative, cruel and something Stapp looks to combat disorder, as Stapp has, or one that’s clearly hit with his music and his message. a devastating patch of life, is sick?

I wanted psychotic ramblings from a Scott Stapp: The Voice Going into the interview with Stapp, I paranoid schizophrenic to print in ironic of Creed 2016 “Proof of wanted a maniacal meth-head on a CIAmockery. “Creed sucks, Scott Stapp’s a Life” Tour backed mission to assassinate President weirdo.” That kind of elitist bullshit. Instead, $26 Barack Obama. It wasn’t until seconds before 8pm Sun, May 8 dude, I think Scott Stapp just made me a Fitzgerald’s Bar Scott was put on the line and his publicist better person.

437 E. McCarty Road, Suite 101 said he is open to talk about his bipolar (210) 629-5141 facebook.com/fitzgeraldsbar dtbuffkin@sacurrent.com disorder, an ailment I was unaware of, that I sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 51

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MUSIC SAT

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Flatbush Zombies

In the New York hip-hop renaissance, circa 2012, the cacophonic trio known as the Flatbush Zombies were a part of the Beast Coast Movement, accompanied by friends the Underachievers, collective Pro Era and Joey Bada$$. While the movement often centered on golden hip-hop pastiche, there was something different about the jarring Brooklyn trio. Known for LSD-happy and zombie-obsessed joints like “Thug Waffle” and “S.C.O.S.A.,” they spiral on their psychedelic leanings: drops of acid, rolled up joints and listening to Jimi Hendrix. This isn’t anymore apparent than in their Stanley Kubrick-inspired 3001: A Laced Odyssey, where they wink from their third-eye as they channel the headier concepts and surrealistic narratives of Gravediggaz. At times, however, their unconventional, purple-hazed narratives overshadow their introspective musings on the societal ills of growing up in Brooklyn. In “Blacktivist,” Zombie Juice becomes a parable rhymesayer: “And where are we going when our pops and moms would left? I’m still smoking in the hood on the project steps.” While in “Amerikkkan Pie,” Meechy Darko channels a modern day Malcolm X, growling “Hate my black flesh / You cannot change, rearrange my chemical make-up.” $23-$100, 8pm, Alamo City Music Hall, 1305 E. Houston St., alamocitymusichall. com –Alejandra Ramirez

Wednesday, May 4

Gen-Y Wednesdays: '90s Night

Jncos, rat-tails, light-up L.A. Gears and professional athletes dressed as elderly women – what a time to be alive. The Amp Room, 7pm

Retama Spring Fest 2016 Henry Brun &

The Latin Connection and Hogg Shed will perform a variety of pop and rock covers, from the Iglesiases to Tom Petty, while mixing in some of their own material.

Retama Park, 5pm

Thursday, May 5

David Farias Celebrate Mexico's ouster

of the French colonizers with accordion prodigy David Farias. Industry Nightclub, 7pm

Fea 7" Release and Tour Kickoff Local

Chicana punk band that recently signed to Joan Jett's Blackheart Records and will soon be joining Against Me! on tour releases their 7". With Kristeen Young.

Hi-Tones, 9pm

Jazz in the Garden feat. Gabriel Santiago The jazz guitarist will play a solo set among flora and fauna.

Brackenridge Park, 6:30pm

Satisfaction: The International Rolling Stones Show The leading almostMick, Keef, Woody, Bill and Charlie try to get some satisfaction in a city that loves it some tribute artists. Sam's Burger Joint, 7pm

Friday, May 6

Bear Mountain With songs more varied than a bag of trail mix, Canada's Bear

Mountain has tunes that fulfill the earthy flavor of peanuts ("Congo") and the sweetness of M&Ms ("Faded"). With Young Empires. Paper Tiger, 8pm

Fair City Fire Priding themselves on making

"All-Original Rock and Roll" (their words, not mine) Fair City Fire delivers some retroinspired shit, as promised. 502 Bar, 9pm

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Hate Eternal, Vital Remains, Black Fast and Inanimate Existence Featuring a

lineup of bands that are probably named after angsty LiveJournal usernames circa 2007, get ready to experience ultimate emo-ness in a metal package. The Rock Box, 5pm

Jason Bonham's Led Zeppelin Experience The son of John Bonham

and Zep's primary drummer for the handful of shows since Bonzo's passing leads a crack band through papa's catalog. Aztec Theatre, 7pm

Noche de Cumbia feat. El Tule, Volcan and Los Galacticos The original home of the pickle shot hosts an evening of baile para el gente. Hi-Tones, 10pm

Retama Spring Fest 2016 The Electric

Cowboys and Raymond Y Rayo headline the ongoing music festival at the pony track. Retama Park, 5pm

San Antonio Symphony: Saint-Saens Piano Concert Piano marvel Martina

Filjak and conductor Karina Canellakis team up in this French-influenced program focused on passion and vivacious energy, featuring the Piano Concerto No. 2 by Camille Saint-Saëns and pieces by Franck, Delius and Bizet. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 8pm sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 53

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54 CURRENT • May 4—May 10, 2016 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

Sebastian Bach The former frontman

for Skid Row with the 41 octave range plays with some of SA's premiere cock rockers. Alamo City Music Hall, 7pm

Steve Wariner Without the prison grit of

a Cash or a Haggard or the outlaw image of Willie or Waylon, Wariner has charted more than 50 Billboard hits with his smooth vocals and sincere songwriting.

Cowboys Dancehall, 7pm

Tim Sköld When he's not working with

Mr. Please-Find-Me-Offensive, Marilyn Manson, and the nice folks who happen to make doom industrial at KMFDM, multi-instrumentalist Tim Sköld plays 'till his fingers, or your ears, bleed. With Dawn of the Phoenix. The Korova, 8pm

Saturday, May 7

2016 DMC San Antonio DJ Battle U.S.

DMC Champion, and SA's own DJ Kico, goes up against fellow native Donnie Dee for the regional title of freshest selector.

Fitzgerald's, 7pm

Boz Scaggs That sweet, throaty cross

between Aaron Neville and Kermit the Frog, born William Royce Scaggs, plays down the road a piece. Gruene Hall, 8pm

The Crazy Underground Party Marrboss Productions promise an abundance of bass, provided by Derrick Rage, Bexar Trap, Rivers Want, Zane, Ambience, DJ Nuclear Assault, Davey Jones, Munark and Andson. The Korova, 8pm

Electronic Exhibition Drab Majesty, Pale Dian, Calico Club and Ellis Redon host a night full of cerebral ass-shakin' music.

Hi-Tones, 9pm

Heavenlyjunkie The album listening

party for Time of Death, the newest release from the impressive, day dreamy electro-pop outfit. With Elena Lopez and The Foreign Arm. Imagine Books & Records, 8pm

Mommypalooza Even if this wasn't a

celebration of mothers, featuring Johnny Cash, Elvis, Selena and Ray Charles tribute artists, it'd still make the calendar

due to the ridiculous name. Wonderland of the Americas, 10am

Nightbird: Tribute to Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks "So I'm back to the

Velvehhht ... Underground." If Stevie Nicks' warbly witchcraft gets you, Sam's is your jam. Sam's Burger Joint, 8pm

Sunday, May 8

MAY 6 - STONEY LARUE

La Ley The Chilean soft rockers bring the

smooth Latin groove that has earned them numerous Grammys to the Aztláninspired theater. Aztec Theatre, 7pm

Sem Hastro and The Pessimist Two

Brazilian punk exports headline a show with local Luddites that lack any internet presence, Creep Stare. Nite Lite, 8:30pm

May 5

Mantis

Monday, May 9

MAY 7 - AARON EINHOUSE

Crossroads 2-Year Anniversary The

delicious Southern Kitchen that shares a space with Satan's favorite tavern hosts Garrett T. Capps, The Bolos and The Rich Hands for their second birthday. To many more, ladies! Faust Tavern, 7pm

Gipsy Kings Melding deep-heated

flamenco, rumba, salsa and pop to the tune of 20 million albums sold, the Grammy-winning hit-makers celebrate in their very own blistering tradition.

Majestic Theatre, 7:30 pm

May 6

HATE ETERNAL, Vital Remains, Black Fast and Inanimate Existence

MAY 14 - ELI YOUNG BAND

Tuesday, May 10

Accordion Wars II Witness the dexterity

and musical bravado of some of the city's flashiest accordion players. Sam's Burger Joint, 6pm

Apocolyptica "Three classically trained

May 7

Tim Ripper Owens, Judas Priest, Iced Earth, & More

JUNE 17 - GARY ALLAN

cellists" doesn't exactly scream metal band, but this Finnish group has the platinum album sales to prove their success in the guitar-dominated genre.

Aztec Theatre, 7pm

Celtic Woman: The Destiny Tour Purveyors of the rich history of Irish music, Celtic Woman, consisting of four individual artists, imports sounds from the Emerald Isle. Majestic Theatre, 7pm

502 Bar 502 Embassy Oaks, (210) 257-8125, 502bar.com Alamo City Music Hall 1305 E. Houston St., alamocitymusichall.com Aztec Theatre 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com Brackenridge Park 3700 N. St. Mary's St., (210) 207-8480, brackenridgepark.org Charline McCombs Empire Theatre 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-5700, majesticempire.com Cowboys Dancehall 3030 NE Interstate Loop 410, (210) 646-9378, cowboysdancehall.com Faust Tavern 517 E. Woodlawn Ave., (210) 257-0628, fausttavern.com Fitzgerald’s 437 McCarty Road #101, (210) 629-5141, facebook.com/fitzgeraldsbarsa Gruene Hall 1281 Gruene Road, (830) 606-1281, gruenehall. com Hi-Tones 621 E. Dewey Pl., hitonessa.com Imagine Books & Records 8373 Culebra Road, (210) 236-7668, imaginebookstore.com Industry Nightclub 8021 Pinebrook Drive, (210) 374-2765 Majestic Theatre 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-5700, majesticempire.com Nite Lite 714 Fredericksburg Road, nitelitesa.com Paper Tiger 2410 N. St Mary’s St., papertigersa.com Retama Park 1 Retama Pkwy., (210) 651-7200, retamapark.com Sam’s Burger Joint 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com The Amp Room 2407 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 320-2122, theamproom. com The Korova 107 E. Martin St., (210) 226-5070, thekorova.com The Rock Box 1223 E. Houston St., (210) 677-9453, therockboxsa.com Tobin Center for the Performing Arts 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org Wonderland of the Americas 4522 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 785-3500, wonderlandamericas.com

May 11

LA Guns

JUNE 18 - OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW

May 12

Madison

1223 E Houston St. SA, TX 78205 www.therockboxsa.com

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For tickets: liveatfloores.com sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 55

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I’m a 31-year-old straight woman. I have a good job, great friends, and average attractiveness. I’ve dated close to 30 men at this point, and I can’t wrap my head around this: I’ve never had a boyfriend or dated anyone for more than a couple months. It’s really starting to wear on my self-esteem. I don’t believe anything is wrong with me, but the more time goes on, the more I think I have to be doing something wrong. The guys ghost me or things fizzle out or we’re not at the same point in our lives. This is particularly true for one guy I’ve remained friends with (common social circle) who is struggling with his career, though things are still awkward because it’s clear there’s still something there. Another area of concern: I’m still a virgin.

Catholic guilt resulted in me being a late bloomer, with my first kiss at 21. Once I got more into dating, my low self-esteem coupled with the fact that I’ve basically decided I want to be in a monogamous committed relationship with a guy before having sex, relationships just never happened. I don’t have unrealistic expectations that I’ll marry the first dick that sticks itself into me — but I’ve waited this long, so I’m not going to jump into the sack with just anyone without knowing that I can at least trust them. The only guy I really do trust is Somewhat Depressed Guy, but propositioning him could further complicate our already awkward

I get variations on the first half of your question — is something wrong with me?

— all the time. But it’s not a question I’m in a position to answer, WWWM, as I would need to depose a random sampling of the guys you’ve dated, interrogate your friends, and grill you under a bare lightbulb for a few days to figure out what’s wrong with you.

And you know what? Nothing could be wrong with you. You may have pulled the short straw 30 times in a row, and you just need to keep getting out there and eventually you’ll pull a guy who won’t ghost or fizzle on you.

As for the second half of your question ...

What the hell should you do? Well, gee. What you’ve been doing hasn’t worked, WWWM, so maybe it’s time to do something else. Like fuck some dude on the first date. Or if that’s too drastic, fuck some dude on the second date. Or better yet, go to Somewhat Depressed Guy and say: “I don’t think you want a relationship right now, and I’m not sure I do either. But I like you and trust you, and I could really use your help with something …”

While the commitment-and-monogamyfirst approach has worked for some, WWWM, it hasn’t worked for you. And being a virgin at 31 isn’t boosting your self-esteem. There are lots of people out there who jumped in the sack and did a little dick-sticking with people they barely knew but had a good feeling about.

The jumping/sticking/dicking approach doesn’t always lead to committed and/or monogamous relationships, but it can and it has and it does.

Somewhat Depressed Guy might be somewhat less depressed if he was getting some, you might have higher self-esteem if you finally got some, and dispensing with your virginity might make dating after you part ways — if you part ways with him (you never know) — seem a lot less fraught. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

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JONESIN’ CROSSWORD by Matt Jones

Answer on page 19

“The Luck / Is Yours”— with the / help of a / numeral.

ACROSS 1 Capital / south of / Ecuador 5 Place to / do Zumba, / perhaps 8 Ebert or / Siskel’s / “ratings” / figures?

14 Autobio / by Turow / based at / Harvard 15 Edge of a / garment 16 Deletes 17 H.S. class / with lab / studies 18 “Sum,” as in / “... ergo sum” 19 Harriet / Tubman’s / new bill 20 Harold’s / titular / best bud 22 Abbr. in a / to-let ad 24 Speck in / one’s eye 25 Muscat’s / natives 27 Duncan’s / nemesis / in a Bard / tragedy 30 Genre of / Yanni or / crystal / healing 31 Actress / Sorvino 32 British / lexicon, / in brief 34 & 36. Guy who’d / sell you / Gruyere 36 37 How your / senator / signals / dissent 38 Tattoos, / in slang 41 & 42. Tonight 42 43 GQ staff, / briefly 44 Leaping / A. A. Milne / young ‘un 45 & 46. WWE Hall / of Famer / who’s now / “The Body ... / Politic?”

46 48 Georgia / capital, / in slang 49 Firenze / flooder, / in Italy 51 Lyle who / was seen / on old TV / sitcoms 55 Star who / is not as / notable 57 Do a film / editor’s / job, once 58 Class of / numbers?

59 Make the / motor go / vroom in / neutral 61 Hunt who / saw cows / fly by in / “Twister” 62 Dress to / sing in a / chorale, / perhaps 65 Bowlful / you sink / chips in 67 Feeling / pleased 68 ___ a living 69 Defunct / GM brand 70 Monthly / payment, / perhaps 71 African / malaria / carrier 72 Lamb’s ma 73 “... ___ it seems”

DOWN 1 Aim at, as / a target 2 Inter, or / put back / a casket 3 “Big Bang / Theory”’s / “grandma” / moniker / (i.e., as per / Sheldon) 4 “Farmer’s” / ref full / of facts 5 Letters / beneath / a four, on / a keypad 6 It opens / on every / January 7 “Humming” / part of a / tagline / for soup 8 Letters / like .doc, / but for a /

Notepad / file ext.

9 Cut with / an axe in / a forest 10 Funk hit / for Bill / Withers 11 Sound of / droning / on and on, / on and on ...

12 Beavis’s / partner / in crime 13 Eye sore?

21 Punch by / a leftie / no boxer / expects 23 “Amen! You / ___!” (“Right on!”)

26 “Now wait / for just / a moment ...”

28 Upscale / sugared / hybrids / that are / usually / flakier 29 Summary / of stats / in a boxy / display 33 Start of / “-lexia” or / “-peptics” 35 Disney’s / one-time / boss man / Michael 38 George’s / lyrical / brother 39 “I’ll pass” 40 It bears / nuts now / used in a / limited / variety / of Pepsi 47 Briskly, / in music 50 Nervous 52 Invoice / charger 53 Pacific / plus all / the rest 54 Care for 56 “Go ahead, / ask away!”

58 Run into 60 Hilltop / feature 63 Student / vehicle?

64 It comes / prior to / “automne” 66 “Annabel / Lee” poet

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): “Silence is not silence, but a limit of hearing,” writes Jane Hirshfield in her poem “Everything Has Two Endings.” This observation is apropos for you right now. There are potentially important messages you’re not registering and catalytic influences you can’t detect. But their apparent absence is due to a blank spot in your awareness, or maybe a willful ignorance left over from the old days. Now here’s the good news: You are primed to expand your listening field. You have an enhanced ability to open certain doors of perception that have been closed. If you capitalize on this opportunity, silence will give way to revelation.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): Your ability to accomplish magic is at a peak, and will continue to soar for at least two more weeks. And when I use that word “magic,” I’m not referring to the hocus-pocus performed by illusionists like Criss Angel or Harry Houdini. I’m talking about real feats of transformation that will generate practical benefits in your day-today life. Now study the following definitions by writer Somerset Maugham, and have faith in your ability to embody them: “Magic is no more than the art of employing consciously invisible means to produce visible effects. Will, love, and imagination are magic powers that everyone possesses; and whoever knows how to develop them to their fullest extent is a magician.”

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): According to author Vladimir Nabokov, the Russian word toska means “a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness.” Linguist Anna Wierzbicka says it conveys an emotion that blends melancholy, boredom, and yearning.

Journalist Nick Ashdown suggests that for someone experiencing toska, the thing that’s yearned for may be “intangible and impossible to actually obtain.” How are doing with your own toska, Gemini? Is it conceivable that you could escape it — maybe even heal it? I think you can. I think you will. Before you do, though, I hope you’ll take time to explore it further. Toska has more to teach you about the previously hidden meaning of your life.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): “Gandhi’s autobiography is on my pillow,” writes Cancerian poet Buddy Wakefield. “I put it there every morning after making my bed so I’ll remember to read it before falling asleep. I’ve been reading it for 6 years.

I’m on Chapter 2.” What’s the equivalent phenomenon in your world, my fellow Crab?

What good deed or righteous activity have you been pursuing with glacial diligence? Is there a healthy change you’ve been thinking about forever, but not making much progress on? The mood and the sway of the coming days will bring you a good chance to expedite

the process. In Wakefield’s case, he could get up to Chapter 17.

up with experiences that inspire, teach, and transform you.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): In the 16th century, European explorers searched South America in quest of a mythical city of gold known as El Dorado. Tibetan Buddhist tradition speaks of Shambhala, a magical holy kingdom where only enlightened beings live.

In the legends of ancient Greece, Hyperborea was a sunny paradise where the average human life span was a thousand years and happiness was normal. Now is an excellent time for you to fantasize about your own version of utopia, Leo. Why? First, your imagination is primed to expand. Second, dreaming big will be good for your mental and physical health. There’s another reason, too: By envisioning the most beautiful world possible, you will mobilize your idealism and boost your ability to create the best life for yourself in the coming months.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21):

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): “Anytime you’re going to grow, you’re going to lose something,” said psychologist James Hillman. “You’re losing what you’re hanging onto to keep safe. You’re losing habits that you’re comfortable with, you’re losing familiarity.” I nominate these thoughts to serve as your words of wisdom in the coming weeks, Virgo. From an astrological perspective, you are in a phase when luxuriant growth is possible. To harvest the fullness of the lush opportunities, you should be willing to shed outworn stuff that might interfere.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18):

“Anybody can become angry,” said Greek philosopher Aristotle. “That is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” I’m pleased to inform you, Sagittarius, that now is a time when you have an exceptional capacity for meeting Aristotle’s high standards. In fact, I encourage you to honor and learn all you can from your finely-honed and well-expressed anger. Make it work wonders for you. Use it so constructively that no one can complain.

When he was a boy, Mayan poet Humberto Ak’ab’al asked his mother, “What are those things that shine in the sky?” “Bees,” she answered mischievously. “Every night since then,” Humberto writes, “my eyes eat honey.”

In response to this lyrical play, the logical part of our brains might rise up and say, “What a load of nonsense!” But I will ask you to set aside the logical part of your brain for now, Aquarius. According to my understanding of the astrological omens, the coming days will be a time when you need a big dose of sweet fantasies, dreamy stories, and maybe even beautiful nonsense. What are your equivalents of seeing bees making honey in the night sky’s pinpoints of light?

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19):

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20):

To celebrate your arrival at the height of your sex appeal, I’m resurrecting the old-fashioned word “vavoom.” Feel free to use it as your nickname. Pepper it into your conversations in place of terms like “awesome,” “wow,” or “yikes.” Use a felt-tip marker to make a temporary VAVOOM tattoo on your beautiful body. Here are other enchanted words you should take charge of and make an intimate part of your daily presentation: Verve, vim, vivid, vitality, vigor, voracious, vivacious, visceral, valor, victory and VIVA!

“Sometimes, a seemingly insignificant detail reveals a whole world,” says artist Pierre Cordier. “Like the messages hidden by spies in the dot of an i.” These are precisely the minutiae that you should be extra alert for in the coming days, Pisces. Major revelations may emerge from what at first seems trivial. Generous insights could ignite in response to small acts of beauty and subtle shifts of tone. Do you want glimpses of the big picture and the long-range future? Then be reverent toward the fine points and modest specifics.

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): On Cracked.com, Auntie Meme tells us that many commonly-held ideas about history are wrong.

There were no such things as chastity belts in the Middle Ages, for example. Napoleon’s soldiers didn’t shoot off the nose of the Sphinx when they were stationed in Egypt. In regards to starving peasants, Marie Antoinette never derisively said, “Let them eat cake.” And no Christians ever became meals for lions in ancient Rome’s Colosseum. (More: tinyurl. com/historicaljive.) In the spirit of Auntie Meme’s exposé, and in alignment with the astrological omens, I invite you to uncover and correct at least three fabrications, fables, and lies about your own past.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): Poet Charles Wright marvels at the hummingbird, “who has to eat sixty times his own weight a day just to stay alive. Now that’s a life on the edge.” In the coming weeks, Scorpio, your modus operandi may have resemblances to the hummingbird’s approach. I don’t mean to suggest that you will be in a manic survival mode. Rather, I expect you’ll feel called to nourish your soul with more intensity than usual. You’ll need to continuously fill yourself sacurrent.com • May 4—May 10, 2016 • CURRENT 61

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