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sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 3

From The

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Editorial

Associate Editor: Bryan Rindfuss Art Director: Eli Miller Food & Nightlife Editor: Jessica Elizarraras Music Editor: Matt Stieb Staff Writers: Mark Reagan, Michael Marks Digital Content Editor: Albert Salazar Contributors: Ron Bechtol, D.T. Buffkin, Ainsley Caffrey, Erik Casarez, Murphi Cook, James Courtney, Jade Esteban Estrada, Dan R. Goddard, Lance Higdon, Steven G. Kellman, Kiko Martínez, Jeremy Martin, Jeff Meyers, David Riedel, Melanie Robinson, Heywood Sanders, Gary Sweeney, J.D. Swerzenski, Editorial Interns: Antonio Ambriz, Misty Blaze, Alyssa Cantu, Angelita Gonzales, Jeffrey Hernandez, Cameron James, Abby Mangel, Gabriela Mata, Haley McLeod, Crystal Poenisch, Ezekiel Saucedo, Shannon Sweet

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CONTENTS May 27 - June 2, 2015

13 NEWS Behind The Visor Are we stereotyping bikers because of the violence in Waco? Monterrey In Two Hours High-speed rail line would solidify SA-MX connection Weak Ride Funding problems could have sunk B-Cycle

18 CALENDAR

Cool Licks Missing Blue Bell? Check out these 12 icy suggestions Hill Country Thrills Jump from a plane? Zip through tall tree lines? Go for it! No Couch Potato Yes, it’s possible to run and bike through our killer heat and humidity The Unbearable Lameness Of Toobing If you must — only if you must — do this, at least don’t join the pack

Our top picks for the week

25 ARTS Hero Or Bandit? Love him or hate him, revolutionary Emiliano Zapata’s legacy lingers Unconvincing Sojourn We don’t quite get enough depth from the characters in 4000 Miles

31 SUMMER Palatable Patios We’re digging these undiscovered urban oases Holy Rollercoaster, Batman! Fiesta Texas’ new ride will have you wondering what just happened Kids Just Wanna Have Fun Parents, don’t panic! Cure your kid’s boredom with our activities guide

8 CURRENT • May 27-June 2, 2015 • sacurrent.com

58 NIGHTLIFE Tapping The Convo SA Current’s beer group talks about its choice of summer brews Canine Outing 17 dog-friendly patios for you and your pooch

65 MUSIC Modern World New work from the Saarinens, led by San Antonio music vet Mike Chapa

46 SCREENS

Space Is The Place Funk oddball George Clinton brings his P. Funk circus to town

Summer Movie Guide Blockbusters, comedies, indies … We give you the whole rundown

Crossover Blues The brilliant, but surprisingly invisible career of Romeo Santos

X-Rated Mad Men Second season of Masters of Sex gets our thumbs up

Music Calendar What to see and hear this weekend

51 FOOD

77 ETC.

Tre Tries Again A Flawless visit to Tre Enoteca Parli Italiano? Blue Star’s latest addition comes straight out of Italy (with a Texan twist) Culinary Calendar 5 ways to get your drink/grub on this week Flavor File Hot Wells Harvest Feast is the food-lover’s event to attend in June

Savage Love Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crossword This Modern World

ON THE COVER What are you gonna do once the rain stops and the

killer South Texas sun rears its head? Survive the SA heat and humidity with our summer guide Illustration by Shannon Snow Art direction by Eli Miller

sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 9

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sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 11

12 CURRENT • May 27-June 2, 2015 • sacurrent.com

NEWS

BEHIND THE VISOR Bikers Say Most Are Not Like Criminals From Waco Clash MARK REAGAN/@210REAGAN

A massive clash in Waco a little more than a week ago between motorcycle clubs that left nine dead has resurrected that decades-old stereotypical image of scary tattooed bikers wreaking havoc. But bikers from two national clubs with San Antonio chapters say those fears are unfounded. “We just want to get on our bikes and ride and be left alone,” Greg Browning, aka “Patrón ZZ,” executive president of the Patrón Motorcycle Club, told the San Antonio Current. “I can’t tell you how many times brothers and other members are stopped in San Antonio by police who want to see your tattoos and profile you and give you a hard time,” Browning noted. After the Waco brawl, lawful motorcycle club members were left shaking their heads at the senseless violence while they’re left to deal with misconceptions about their brethren. “I’ve talked to quite a few guys about it in our club. All this needless horrific violence, it’s because two clubs can’t get along,” said John Whitfield, spokesman for the Iron Order Motorcycle Club. “Secondly, it made me sick because the general public doesn’t know the difference between a lawful and an unlawful club.” The two groups making headlines are the well-known Bandidos, which is classified as a gang by the Texas Department of Public Safety and the U.S. Department of Justice, and the Cossacks. San Antonio Police Department spokesman Javier Salazar wouldn’t address the biker gangs by name, but confirmed that groups do operate in the Alamo City. “We know they do exist and we do monitor them,” Salazar said. According to DPS, the Bandidos hold a strong presence in the Alamo City. Caught up in the Waco violence is a former SAPD detective named Martin Lewis, who was arrested and accused of engaging in organized criminal activity. The accusations against Lewis are not clear.

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Thugs? Most bikers say they’re law-abiding.

Lewis co-founded the Patrón Motorcycle Club in 2005 in SA after retiring as a cop in 2004. But about a year ago, Lewis left the group to join a red-and-gold support club, Browning said. Red and gold are the colors worn by Bandidos. Lewis is no longer affiliated with the club, which is mostly comprised of veterans and active service members, Browning pointed out. The same sense of service runs true in the Iron Order, which boasts 280 chapters in 46 states and Washington D.C. That club is mostly made up of police officers, but also includes working professionals. Whitfield, who is a trial lawyer, doesn’t care much for outlaw riders such as those involved in the deadly Waco fiasco. “They are bad guys. They are drug runners and criminals who don’t mind killing,” Whitfield said. “They don’t have much care for life. “There’s a huge contingent of guys who want to be involved in a club, but don’t want to be involved with lawlessness,” he added. “We just like to ride.” mreagan@sacurrent.com

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sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 13

NEWS

MONTERREY IN TWO HOURS Gradual Progress On Push For SA-Monterrey HighSpeed Train MICHAEL MARKS/@MICHAELPMARKS

It takes about five hours to drive from Monterrey, Mexico, to San Antonio — that’s if there’s not much of a line at the border. It’s quite a popular route, considering the growing volume of Monterrey émigrés in SA (there’s a reason the Stone Oak/Sonterra area is called “Sonterrey” or “Little Monterrey”). So they and others may like the sound of being able to cut that trip down to two hours. That’s what Congressman Henry Cuellar, D-Laredo, is trying to do. His plan? High-speed trains linking the two hubs, with a stop at the border — Laredo. The project would be the first passenger rail line to cross the U.S-Mexico border. Cuellar touts it as a job creator. Tourist attraction honchos in SA have already asked about the project’s progress, eager to investigate its potential to bring in more crowds. “I’m really excited, because at least at the federal level we’re going to start setting up those protocols ... that Texas and Mexico need to have,” Cuellar told the San Antonio Current. Carlos Ruy Martinez, a UTSA international business professor who also teaches in Monterrey, said that the project could be an economic game-changer. Martinez, in a phone interview from Monterrey, said the line could create a “paradise for the consumer” by facilitating movement between both cities and opening up more markets. And tourism, especially from Texas to Mexico, could boom. Passengers on the line would likely be pre-cleared to cross the border, eliminating much of the wait time associated with crossing by car. “There’s still some people who are a little bit afraid of coming to Monterrey,” Martinez said, referring to drugrelated violence that’s plagued the region. “If you could go directly from Monterrey to San Antonio in just two hours, people, I’m sure, would use this train. It will have consequences,” he added. But plenty of obstacles stand in the project’s way. Cuellar has advocated for the project since 2008. He helped attach it to a study by the Texas Department of Transportation on high-speed rail between Texas and Oklahoma City that started in 2012. Becky Ozuna, a spokeswoman for the TxDOT, said that the study will address a bevy of questions about 14 CURRENT • May 27-June 2, 2015 • sacurrent.com

The bond between SA and Monterrey, Mexico, would be solidified with a new high-speed passenger rail line connecting the two hubs.

the Texas-Mexico line, such as how it might be funded, how fast the trains could go and whether the lines could carry cargo in addition to passengers. But Ozuna also emphasized that the study doesn’t guarantee anything — it’s only a report on what’s possible. “[It’s] just a study to see if a rail line would even be feasible, not a plan of any sort,” Ozuna told the Current. That study is ongoing, according to TxDOT. But it hit a snag because “there’s really no studies or protocols between the U.S. and Mexico” for international rail, Cuellar said. To remedy that dilemma, Cuellar earlier this month inserted into a bill directions for the Federal Railroad Administration to bridge the gap between TxDOT and Mexican transportation authorities. Whatever TxDOT concludes, the project won’t be cheap. Mexican officials have projected that the line would cost about $1.5 billion on their side of the border. Cuellar, TxDOT and FRA all declined to provide the price tag for the U.S. cost. Cuellar said the bulk of the project would likely be funded through the private sector, in partnership with public transportation authorities from both countries. Initial projections estimated that the line could be completed by 2018, but Cuellar said that delays mean the date will have to be pushed back. There isn’t a concrete timetable for its completion. But because of opposition to a separate rail proposal, a sneaky budget procedure at the Legislature could have sidelined the effort. Texas Central Railway, a privately-funded, high-speed rail line between Dallas and Houston, has drawn the ire of

groups concerned about the project’s impact on property values and safety. The line is still in its planning stages, but it could open by 2020. Several bills to block the TCR have died this legislative session. So Sen. Charles Schwertner, R-Georgetown, recently offered a proposal that would block TxDOT from spending any money on high-speed rail projects. Schwertner defines high-speed rail as “intercity passenger rail service that is reasonably expected to reach speeds of at least 110 miles per hour,” which would likely include the San Antonio-Monterrey rail. Over half of the trains operated by Amtrak can top 100 miles per hour, with the world’s fastest trains hitting 200 mph. House and Senate negotiators struck Schwertner’s lanaguage out of the budget. But opposition to highspeed rail remains and, if it prevails, it would mean a major blow to the San Antonio-Monterrey line. Schwertner’s office did not respond to multiple requests for comment. Before it was removed, Cuellar said he hoped the proposal would be nixed from the budget. “They were going after the proposed Houston-Dallas line,” Cuellar said. “That should not stop us from going from San Antonio, Laredo and Monterrey,” he added. For Martinez, who often makes the road trip between San Antonio and Monterrey, progress can’t come soon enough. “This should have been done previously, so I’m glad it’s happening,” he said. mmarks@sacurrent.com

STRANGER DANGER = UBER “ D O N ’ T G ET I N TO C A R S W I T H ST R A N G E R S . ”

Houston. Los Angeles. Boston. Philadelphia. Chicago. Denver. San Francisco. Washington, DC. Uber passengers – mostly women – all over America are reporting attacks by Uber drivers. When you get in an Uber, no one really knows who’s driving you. That’s because Uber refuses to fingerprint new drivers to determine an accurate criminal background and establish their identity. Is San Antonio next? • Uber is currently being sued for what the San Francisco District Attorney calls a “completely worthless” background check. • In some cities, Uber drivers’ rap sheets include assault, battery, aggravated robbery, indecent exposure and DWI. (“City of Houston’s Uber driver checks reveal numerous crimes”, Houston Chronicle, April 8, 2015.) Until Uber takes steps to ensure passenger safety – especially women’s – every Uber ride is a gamble. When you call an Uber, you might get a good driver. Or you could get a stranger who recently got out of prison. (“Uber driver charged with rape had federal drug conviction”, Houston Chronicle, April 7, 2015.) With Uber, you have no idea who is driving you or your family.

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sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 15

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16 CURRENT • May 27-June 2, 2015 • sacurrent.com

CALENDAR

WED

W.I.P. Crème DANCE

Billed as the “only regularly functioning dance/performance lab in South Texas with an accessible feedback process,” W-I-P (Wednesday In Performance/Works In Progress) steps out of its Jump-Start digs to present Crème at the Guadalupe. Revisiting an array of highlights from the 2014-2015 season, the movement-based showcase combines contemporary, ballroom, hip-hop and experimental works performed by “Crème of the crop artists” (including Sandy FlippoHilliard, Frank Huddleston, S.T. Shimi and Laura Yohualtlahuiz Rios-Ramirez) and special guests Third Coast Rhythm and the RPM Youth Tap Ensemble. $8-$10, 7pm, Guadalupe Theater, 1301 Guadalupe St., wipcreme2015.eventbrite.com. — Bryan Rindfuss

18 CURRENT • May 27-June 2, 2015 • sacurrent.com

THU

Meditation, Creativity, Peace FILM

For a peek into the curious mind of filmmaker David Lynch, this 70-minute documentary, which is part of the McNay’s GET REEL film series, journeys with the four-time Academy Award-nominated director/writer on a 16-country tour where he speaks on the virtues of Transcendental Meditation and why his foundation is helping fund these teachings in schools around the world. We’re not exactly sure how much reflecting Lynch did before he agreed to direct a Showtime revival of his ‘90s-era TV series Twin Peaks, but if spirituality had anything to do with it, thanks Maharishi. Free, 6:30pm, McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368, mcnayart.org. – Kiko Martínez

FRI-SAT

29-30

San Antonio Drum and Bass Expo MUSIC

If you doubt that drum and bass music is still alive and well in South Texas, the San Antonio Drum and Bass Expo is here to school you. On Friday night, it’ll be a veritable jungle jamboree at Greenhouse Rooftop, with performances by more than 20 artists, including a slew of local acts and AK1200 (pictured), who founded the active Big Riddim Recordings and is a 20-year veteran of the genre. On Saturday evening at Hotel Indigo, students of the genre can attend free DnB workshops designed to pique interest and hone skills. $5-$20, 6pm3am Fri, Greenhouse Rooftop, 4553 N. Loop 1604 W.; free, 5-9pm Sat, Hotel Indigo, 105 N. Alamo St. — James Courtney

FRI-SUN

29-31

The Mystery of Edwin Drood THEATER

When Dickens died, he left a mystery in his wake. His final novel, The Mystery of Edwin Drood, remained unfinished — until Rupert Holmes came along. Holmes’ musical adaptation follows the players of the Music Hall Royale as they perform the incomplete tale, allowing the audience to choose the ending. For years, the continuation of this work has been a pastime for writers. In 1873, painter Thomas James claimed he wrote the ending while channeling Dickens (even Arthur Conan Doyle believed him). May Dickens be with you as you complete this tale of opium dens, love triangles and murder. $12-$33, 8pm Fri-Sat, 3pm Sun, The Playhouse, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258, theplayhousesa.org. — Murphi Cook

CALENDAR

SAT

Orgullo de Colores LGBT PRIDE

As San Antonio gears up to celebrate LGBT Pride (which kicks off in June and culminates July 4 with the Pride Bigger Than Texas festival and parade), the nonprofit behind the festivities rolls out Orgullo de Colores, a campy fundraiser hosted by Beacon Hill’s Uptown Studio. Emceed by Autumn Summers, the event combines two Alamo City hallmarks — drag queens and the Mexican game of lotería — in an evening of fun and games for a cause. Whether or not they opt in for dinner (6 p.m.), all attendees score lotería cards to use in three “mini games.” $15-$20, dinner at 6pm, show from 7-10pm, The Uptown Studio, 700 Fredericksburg Rd., (210) 387-1617, pridesanantonio.org. — BR

SAT

Crooks MUSIC

ATX’s Crooks is an indie country band that positively oozes the raucous and rebellious spirit of Texas. The sixpiece tribe makes rollicking, whiskeysoaked country music that’s as rowdy as a Saturday night honky tonk and as honest as a man on death row. In the dusty and hallowed halls of Floore’s Country Store, the fast-rising act will channel the ghosts of wild pickers past and stomp out all doubts of its worthiness. With its third recorded release, Wildfire, due out by summer’s end, Crooks is positioned to take the mechanical bull of the old Nashville establishment by storm. With Sam Riggs. $10-$12, 9pm, Floore’s Country Store, 14492 Old Bandera Rd., Helotes, liveatfloores.com. — JC

MON

WWE Monday Night Raw SPORTS

Get your permanent markers out, purchase some poster board and practice holding your new homemade sign in the air while squealing like a child: World Wrestling Entertainment’s Monday Night RAW is ready to lay the smackdown on San Antonio. The nation’s longest-running episodic TV show will bring together big names like John Cena, Randy Orton, Roman Reigns and WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins (pictured). A magnet for today’s brightest stars in wrestling, RAW will surely provide several “did that really just happen?” moments that leave you wondering how WWE superstars pull it all off. $20-$115, 6:30pm, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center Pkwy., attcenter.com. — Kevin Femmel

TUE

Picnic at Hanging Rock

FILM

Hailed as a defining force of Australian New Wave cinema, Sydney native Peter Weir redefined the term “cliffhanger” with his adaptation of Joan Lindsay’s 1967 novel Picnic at Hanging Rock. Set on Valentine’s Day circa 1900, the film — which surrounds three schoolgirls and a math teacher who vanish while exploring a geological formation — is arguably more discussed for its unresolved ending than its hypnotic cinematography and strange sexual undertones. Texas Public Radio screens the classic mystery along with the locally produced short The Awful Tree as part of its Cinema Tuesdays film series. $10-$15, 7pm, Santikos Bijou, 4522 Fredericksburg Rd., (210) 614-8977, tpr.org. — BR

sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 19

CALENDAR

27-28

Guitar Drag

The boundaries of visual art and music are brilliantly blurred in the work of Christian Marclay, a New York-based artist who took home the Golden Lion award at the 2011 Venice Bienniale for his 24hour video mashup The Clock. Challenging conventions since the 1970s, Marclay has spun record collecting — and playing — into a form of high art by constructing hybrid LPs from disparate vinyl slices, sewing mismatched album covers into jarring (and frequently funny) arrangements and using turntables in a live format paralleled with the origins of hip-hop. Partly in response to the 1998 death of James Byrd Jr. at the hands of white supremacists, Marclay created Guitar Drag — a 14-minute video depicting a pickup truck dragging an amplified, electric guitar “across a Texas roadway to its aggressive destruction” — while in residence at Artpace in 1999. Due to its sensitive subject matter, Marclay chose not to include the video in his Artpace exhibition, which instead involved him acting as DJ in the Hudson (Show)Room and installing conceptual musical instruments in the windows of nearby Alamo Music Center. Now 17 years after Byrd Jr.’s murder (which helped spark the federal Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act), Marclay returns to San Antonio for a public talk with former Artpace director Amada Cruz (6:30pm Wednesday) and the Texas premiere of “the completed version” of Guitar Drag (6-9pm Thursday). Free, 6:30pm Wed, Stieren Theater at Trinity University, One Trinity Pl.; 6-9pm Thu, Artpace, 445 N. Main Ave., (210) 212-4900, artpace.org. — Bryan Rindfuss

Art

Art opening: “Professors’ Picks 2.0”

The second installment of Cinnabar’s “Professors Picks” pairs works by art instructors Susan Budge (San Antonio College) and Susan Chrysler White (University of Iowa) and their students Robert B. Cairns and Karin Waskiewicz. Free, 6:30-9pm Friday; Cinnabar, 1420 S. Alamo St., Suite 147, (210) 557-6073.

Closing reception: Destiny Mata and Gabriel Morales The Movement Gallery

hosts a closing reception for photographers Destiny Mata and Gabriel Morales, whose images explore the value of public space as well as “the gritty and prideful life of the trabajador.” Free, 7-9pm Friday; The Movement Gallery/Underground Library, 1412 E. Commerce St., (210) 299-2666.

”Discover the Ice Age” Step back 2.5

million years into a world that was anything but sweltering with “Discover the Ice Age,” a traveling exhibition enhanced with animatronic models and life-sized skeletons. Visitors can channel their inner cave people alongside a woolly mammoth, a saber-toothed cat, and a gigantic “terror bird” while exploring extinction and whether our planet might see another ice age. $11-$15, 10am-5pm WednesdaySaturday, noon-5pm Sunday, 10am-5pm Monday, 10am-8pm Tuesday; Witte Museum, 3801 Broadway, (210) 357-1900.

”Los Tejanos” The Institute of Texan

Cultures was faced with the daunting

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WED-THU

task of cramming 500 years of history into 2,000 square feet for its new exhibit “Los Tejanos.” The result? An interactive space that explores “how the culture defines itself” via five settings: a modern kitchen, an 18th-century ranch house, a 1940s classroom, a doctor’s office and a 1930s plaza created by celebrated painter Carmen Lomas Garza. As a member of Blue Star Museums, the ITC offers free admission for active duty military and their dependents Memorial Day through Labor Day. $6-$8, 9am-5pm Wednesday-Saturday, noon-5pm Sunday, 9am-5pm MondayTuesday; Institute of Texan Cultures, 801 E. César E. Chávez Blvd., (210) 458-2300.

”Jamie Wyeth” Beyond famed portraits

of icons (from John F. Kennedy to Andy Warhol), American painter Jamie Wyeth has built bodies of work exploring the Maine coastline, a reverence for nature and a fascination with pumpkins. Organized by the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston, the retrospective “Jamie Wyeth” encompasses 100 paintings, works on paper, illustrations and assemblages spanning his 60-year career. As a member of Blue Star Museums, SAMA offers free general admission to active-duty military personnel and their families, including National Guard and Reserve, from Memorial Day thorough Labor Day. $15-$20, 10am-5pm Wednesday-Thursday, 10am-9pm Friday, 10am-5pm Saturday-Sunday, 10am-9pm Tuesday; San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones St., (210) 978-8100.

SAT

‘A Battle of Ideas’

Reviewing the Museum of Modern Art’s “The Forever Now: Contemporary Painting in an Atemporal World,” The New Yorker art critic Peter Schjeldahl pegged the 2015 survey’s theme as “present pastness” while relating its message that “substantial newness in painting is obsolete.” In the artist’s statement for her new solo show at Sala Diaz, Houston-based artist, writer and educator Casey Arguelles Gregory references Schjeldahl’s bleakly titled review (“Is There Anything Left to Paint?”) and ponders the “singular troubles and glories” faced by contemporary artists. How this post-internet conundrum factors into Gregory’s “A Battle of Ideas” (which combines paintings inspired by memories and others offering “an almost aerial deconstruction of words and symbols”) remains to be seen. Eerie and dramatic, the show’s key image (a six-foot-long piece titled Something About Longing) conjures the suspense of standing at the edge of a cliff on an alien planet. For a peek into the UTSA alumna’s life up in Hustle Town, check out her blog Artstroller (artstrollertx.com), where she covers the Texas art scene with assistance from her 2-year-old daughter Clementine. Free, 6-9pm, Sala Diaz, 517 Stieren St., (972) 900-0047, saladiazart.org. — BR

Jesse Amado: “30 Day Rx” San Antonio

artist Jesse Amado’s latest body of work employs richly colored virgin wool felt cuttings to address “the gamut of ways that pharmaceuticals inflect our daily lives.” Ranging from orderly grids of pillinspired shapes to draped arrangements of felt scraps, “30 Day Rx” marks the 70th exhibition arranged by Ruiz-Healy Art. Free, 11am-4pm Wednesday-Saturday, 11am-4pm Tuesday; Ruiz-Healy Art, 201-A E. Olmos Dr., (210) 804-2219.

Film

More Than Honey Using high-speed

photography and endoscopic lenses, Swiss filmmaker Marcus Imhoof’s 2013 documentary More Than Honey transports viewers into the honeybees’ flight path and analyzes the global impact of the dwindling bee population. Rained out earlier this month, the screens at the Botanical Garden in conjunction with the Chipotle Sustainable Films series. Free, gates at 6:30pm Friday; San Antonio Botanical Garden, 555 Funston Pl., (210) 207-3250.

Sanctuary: Big Business & Family Detention Southwest Workers Union

hosts a free screening of filmmaker Matthew Gossage’s short documentary following a mother and her seven-year-old daughter who were detained in the Karnes Family Detention Center. Funds raised will go toward the bail bond of families that are still detained in detention centers. Free,

7-9pm Saturday; The Movement Gallery/ Underground Library, 1412 E. Commerce St., (210) 299-2666.

Words

“From Scapegoats to Saviors” Author Jan

Jarboe Russell visits Trinity to discuss her book The Train to Crystal City: FDR’s Secret Prisoner Exchange Program and America’s Only Family Internment Camp During World War II. Sponsored by the San Antonio Society for Psychoanalytic Studies, Russell’s talk will focus on how the pattern of scapegoating took place in the Crystal City Internment Camp. Free, 3-4:30pm Friday;. Ruth Taylor Recital Hall, Trinity University, One Trinity Pl., (210) 549-7810.

Sagebrush Review Release Party

Barnes & Noble hosts a party and reading celebrating the latest volume of UTSA’s literary magazine. Free, 7pm Friday; Barnes & Noble, 15900 La Cantera Pkwy., (210) 558-2078.

Comedy

Gina Brillon Possibly best recognized for

her role in Gabriel Iglesias’ feature film The Fluffy Movie, Bronx-born stand-up Gina Brillon delivers a unique brand of comedy combining personal experiences and sex therapy. $16, 8pm WednesdayThursday, 8pm & 10:15pm FridaySaturday, 8pm Sunday; Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805.

sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 21

2nd Annual

Bobby Bowl In memory of Bobby Deckard

SA Raiders Public Safety Football Team vs. Motor City Mustangs of the American Public Safety Football League (APSFL)

Saturday, May 30, 2015 at 3:30 pm at Bulldog Stadium at Somerset High School. Concessions and Raiders merchandise will be sold onsite and visitors may bring canopies and seat cushions.

$5 for adults $3 for kids 12 & under

7791 E. 3rd Street Somerset, TX 78069

22 CURRENT • May 27-June 2, 2015 • sacurrent.com

CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

Michael Sommerville New Jersey-born

comedian/host/author Michael Sommerville reportedly once danced in a pink bear suit at a Bar Mitvah but has since found wideranging success — writing the Glamour magazine dating column “Jake: A Man’s Opinion,” appearing on NBC’s The Apprentice and releasing the CD Welcome to Somerville. $16, 8:30pm Wednesday-Thursday, 8:30pm & 10:30pm Friday-Saturday, 8:30pm Sunday; Rivercenter Comedy Club, 849 E. Commerce St., (210) 229-1420.

Special Events

“Vital Signs: The Nature and Nurture of Passion” What inspires passion in your

life? And what defeats it? How do you lose it and how do you get it back? In this talk (presented by the Mind Science Foundation), best-selling author Gregg Levoy (Callings, Vital Signs) will help attendees explore how they can cultivate not just a specific passion, but passion as a mindset that helps bring vitality to engagements, from work and relationships to creativity and spiritual life. $5-$20, lecture at 6:30pm, Q&A at 7:15pm Tuesday; Pearl Stable, 312 Pearl Pkwy., (210) 8216094.

Dance

Fiesta Noche del Rio Recently recognized

in Washington D.C. at the Kiwanis’ White House Community Leader Briefing, Fiesta Noche del Rio returns home to the Arneson River Theatre. Choreographed by Elizabeth Sanchez-Lopez, the 59th annual event showcases a “cavalcade of artists” in a seven-act spectacle celebrating songs and dances of Mexico, Spain, Argentina and Texas. $8-$20, 8:30pm Friday-Saturday; Arneson River Theatre, 418 Villita St., (210) 226-4651.

Family Performance: Fandango In

conjunction with the exhibitions “Viva Zapata!” and “Mérida’s Mexico,” the McNay hosts a kid-friendly event combining a dance performance by the local troupe Fandango and dance instruction in the genres of Spanish flamenco and Mexican folklorico. As a member of Blue Star Museum’s the McNay offers free admission to active-duty military personnel and their families through Labor Day. $5-$10, 3-4pm Sunday; McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368.

OPEN Downtown Pop-Up Shops After

activating vacant storefronts along Houston Street in December of 2013 and 2014, the OPEN Downtown Pop-Up shops hop across 281 to take over four spots in historic St. Paul Square. Besides tempting shoppers with everything from locally crafted apparel and pet jewelry to folk art and beauty products, OPEN features a steady stream of food trucks and a DJ set by Ghostpizza (6-9pm Wednesday). Free, 5-9pm WednesdayThursday; OPEN Downtown Pop-Up Shops, 1142, 1160, 1167 & 1170 E. Commerce St.

Owlers & Growlers As part of the Cibolo

Nature Center’s family-friendly Thirst for Nature Series, park ranger and “Wizard of Wildlife” Craig Hensley will briefly discuss the diet, anatomy and lives of owls before leading an “owl prowl” along Cibolo Creek (bring a flashlight). Beer, lemonade and light snacks will be available. $10 (free for kids 16 and under), 7:30-9:30pm Thursday; Cibolo Nature Center, 140 City Park Rd., Boerne, (830) 249-4616.

Only through July 5

Talks Plus

“Tejano/Conjunto: Local Music, Global Identity” Conjunto musician/Mexican-

American studies and music professor Juan Tejeda demonstrates how San Antonio’s beloved Tejano music tradition is the synthesis of a global identity. $8-$10, 6:30-7:30pm Tuesday; Briscoe Western Art Museum, 210 W. Market St., (210) 299-4499.

$2 off general admission with this ad

Jamie Wyeth, (American, born in 1946), Kleberg 1984, Oil on canvas, Terra Foundation for American Art Daniel J. Terra Collection, 1992.164., © Jamie Wyeth Courtesy, Museum of Fine Arts, Boston This exhibition was organized by the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston. This exhibition is generously funded by the Elizabeth Huth Coates Charitable Foundation of 1992. The National Tour is sponsored by Bank of America.

SAN ANTONIO MUSEUM of ART 200 West Jones Avenue | San Antonio, Texas 78215 | 210. 978. 8100 | samuseum.org

sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 23

CITY OF SAN ANTONIO

DEPARTMENT FOR CULTURE & CREATIVE DEVELOPMENT

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ARTS

DIEGO RIVERA, ZAPATA (DETAIL), 1932

HERO OR BANDIT?

McNay Exhibit Examines Emiliano Zapata’s Controversial Legacy DAN R. GODDARD

Handsome and charismatic, Emiliano Zapata (1879-1919) championed agrarian reform and the rights of the downtrodden as one of the key leaders of the Mexican Revolution. With his big mustache, wide-brimmed sombrero and bandoliers strapped across his chest, Zapata could have been the model for the stereotype of the Mexican bandido, but his good looks may explain why he remains a favorite subject of Mexican artists and has become such an icon to the Mexican people. Zapata commanded the Liberation Army of the South and fought to overturn his country’s oppressive, feudal-like system of land ownership for the sake of the campesinos, or peasant farm workers. Ambushed and shot by government forces in 1919, Zapata became a martyr for Mexico’s underclass, but meaningful land reforms were not enacted until the 1930s. In the 1980s, Zapata’s self-declared ideological heirs, the Zapatista Army of National Liberation, led by Subcomandante Marcos emerged in Chiapas and sparked the indigenous 1994 Zapatista uprising, which remains active, though less militant and gone from international headlines. Drawing from the McNay Art Museum’s expansive print collection, curator Lyle Williams has assembled about two dozen images of the revolutionary leader for “Viva Zapata!” on view through August 16 in the Lawson Print Gallery. Simple, graphic and direct, these prints are like stills from a black-and-white newsreel of

the Mexican Revolution. “It’s wonderful to be able to do this finally,” Williams said during a walkthrough of the exhibit. “Over the years, I kept coming across images of Zapata and thought it would be interesting to see how different artists viewed him. For some, he was a hero, but others have a less favorable opinion. Most of the works are from the 1930s and ‘40s, but some are from the 1960s and later.” Unique to the McNay is a circa 1960 portrait of Zapata by Sarah Jiménez, who joined in 1963 the Taller de Gráfica Popular (TGP), an artists’ print collective founded in Mexico in 1937 primarily concerned with using art to advance revolutionary social causes. Gazing intently at the viewer, his craggy features set against the black backdrop of his sombrero’s rim, Jiménez’s Zapata is the face of a legend. “I asked Sarah Jiménez why she decided to do the portrait of Zapata. Her answer was simple, ‘I thought he was sexy,’” Williams said. “On the other hand, I had a high-ranking official with the Mexican consulate over for a dinner party at my house and he saw a reproduction of her portrait that I have. He was outraged and couldn’t believe that I would have the picture of such a despicable outlaw hanging in my home. In Mexico, what you think about Zapata seems to hinge on your social class.” Many of the prints in “Viva Zapata!” have entered the McNay’s permanent collection through the generosity of Ricardo Romo, president of UTSA.

Revolutionary, sure. But Mexico’s Emiliano Zapata isn’t a hero to all.

Most are linocuts or lithographs and were created as fine art prints, though all can be traced stylistically to the vivid engravings, typically printed in newspapers and broadsides, of José Guadalupe Posada (1852-1913), considered the father of modern Mexican printmaking. Famed Mexican muralist Diego Rivera’s

lithograph Agrarian Leader Zapata (1931) is a landmark of Mexican printmaking and one of the best-known portraits of the reformer. Standing on a sword beside the dead body of a hacienda owner, Zapata holds the bridle of a majestic white horse. While Mexican and U.S. CONTINUED ON PAGE 26 ►

GAUGUIN, PICASSO, & VAN GOGH HAVE A SAN ANTONIO HOME. And it’s only ten minutes from the Riverwalk. Vincent van Gogh, Women Crossing the Fields (detail),1890. Oil on paper, Bequest of Marion Koogler McNay

mcnayart.org sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 25

ARTS

◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 25 (EMILIANO ZAPATA) SARAH JIMENEZ, ZAPATA, CA. 1960

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Zapata’s good looks added to his legend. Artist Sarah Jimenez: “I thought he was sexy.”

newspapers vilified the revolutionary interpreting the Mexican Revolution. leader as a treacherous bandit, Rivera’s Mariana Yampolsky created an image of Zapata is a humble hero dressed in a the young Zapata crouching behind a campesino’s traditional loose white shirt tree, watching government soldiers beat and pants. In real life, however, Zapata, peasant farmers. Drawn from the Romo who liked fine clothes, often wore the collection, this is the first time the image flamboyant outfit of a charro, a cowboy has been shown at the McNay, Williams in tight pants and a vest with silver said. While he came to be identified with ornamentation that signified higherthe campesinos, Zapata was actually class status in Mexico. born into a relatively well-to-do ranching “Viva Zapata!” features two other family, but he saw wealthy landowners portraits by “Los Tres Grandes” of beating their tenant farmers enough Mexican art, David Alfaro Siqueiros and times to become a revolutionary at an José Clemente Orozco. They also had early age. Orphaned at age 17, Zapata their prints published by the Weyhe was arrested in 1897 for participating in Gallery. Looking much too large for a protest by the peasants of his village the horse he rides, Siqueiros’ Zapata against the hacienda, or plantation, which (1930) is an almost grandfatherly figure appropriated their lands. with the stiff, anatomically out-ofIsidoro Ocampo’s La Muerte de proportion look of a folk art effigy. By Emiliano Zapata, 10 de Abril de 1919, contrast, Orozco’s Generals (1935) dominated by a mysterious man wearing is a scathing indictment of the cult of sunglasses, alludes to the conspiracy personality that formed around Zapata. theories surrounding Zapata’s death. The lithograph shows a Hero or outlaw? Even sea of men dressed to modern Mexicans can’t look like Zapata, but their agree. But especially for the Viva Zapata! faces have the wild-eyed peasants and indigenous $5-$10 10am-4pm Wed, 10am-9pm Thu, look of fanatics. citizens of Mexico, many 10am-4pm Fri, 10am-5pm Sat, In 1945, TGP began believe the popular protest noon-5pm Sun, 10am-4pm Tue producing Estampas de slogan: “Si Zapata viviera McNay Art Museum 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave. la revolución mexicana, con nosotros anduviera,” or (210) 824-5368 an ambitious series of “If Zapata lived, he would mcnayart.org prints by various artists walk with us.” Through August 16

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ARTS

UNCONVINCING SOJOURN Amy Herzog’s 4000 Miles Falls Flat With Character Exploration STEVEN G. KELLMAN The distance from Seattle to New York is 2,408 miles as the crow flies. As Leo bikes, the journey is longer and slower. After his girlfriend Bec opted out in order to attend college in New York, 21-year-old Leo began the adventure with his best friend Micah. After a mishap on the road killed Micah, Leo continued on alone. In the opening scene of 4000 Miles, a 2011 play by Amy Herzog, it is 3 a.m., and Leo, disheveled and defiant, hauls himself and his bicycle into the Manhattan apartment of his 91-year-old grandmother, Vera. She is both irritable and charitable, and, after adjusting her teeth and hearing aid, invites her grandson to stay. For the next three weeks, Leo, who has lost touch with his anxious mother and sister in Minnesota, will bicker and bond with his grandmother. Not quite there: 4000 Miles short on drive, drama. Sam Carter Gilliam’s Vera is a doddering, hobbling figure who is count on getting the same things back forever misplacing her checkbook from them,” he replies. But Cristopher and keys and failing to find the words Boneta’s Leo has lost his trust in she wants. Yet she is also blunt and others and, especially, himself. It does sassy, unafraid to speak her sharp mind. not help that Bec, played by Kristin About men, she proclaims: “They’re Richards with a nonchalance that stupid and childish.” makes one doubt they ever had much Vera is a nostalgic, unrepentant of a relationship, comes by to announce Communist, though the chronology that they are done. A sojourn with Vera, seems off. She would have come of whom Herzog claims she based on her age in the 1940s, a full decade after the own grandmother, restores Leo’s trust glory days of American Communism. enough to get him back on his bike, Her political comments are few, but one bound for Colorado. is a brief recollection of peace marches A bungled seduction, when Leo — probably in the 1960s, when the nonbrings Lilly Canaria’s Amanda, a Communist left was dominant. She’s sluttish rich girl, home to Vera’s not a convincing old guard Commie, apartment, provides a colorful, comical especially ensconced within an interlude. However, discovery that elaborate set designed by Ryan Deroos his grandmother is a Communist that seems more appropriate to a prim serves as an erotic turnMidwestern matriarch than a off. A creature of high Greenwich Village radical. energy, Amanda is a chirpy 4000 Miles A cynic, Vera quizzes exception to the general $12-$30 Leo about whether, while 8pm Fri-Sat, 3pm Sun torpor of a play that, not traveling alone, he was The Playhouse – Cellar Theater only when Leo and Vera 800 W. Ashby Pl. molested by strangers. “I sprawl on a sofa smoking (210) 733-7258 find if you approach people theplayhousesa.org pot, lacks drive and drama. with love and trust you can Through June 7

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2015 promotional calendar

30 CURRENT • May 27-June 2, 2015 • sacurrent.com

SUMMER

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PALATABLE PATIOS

We’ve Got You Covered On Shady Spots For Summer Chillin’ JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS

Choosing a good patio in San Antonio is much like finding good tacos. It’s not very hard to find a chill spot with awesome shade, food and a frosty libations. But the patio game has been on fire lately with the addition of several as-of-yet undiscovered spots — pristine oases, if you will. Here’s a rundown of patios to visit this summer. Alchemy Kombucha & Culture 1123 N. Flores St. (210) 320-1168 facebook.com/AlchemySanAntonio Call it the triple threat of patios. The latest addition to North Flores, Alchemy combines light, innovative bites, cool cocktails and zippy kombucha, fermented tea (a Chinese tradition dating 2,000 years). While the dining room is dark and intimate, the patio’s shade and breezy atmosphere are worth lounging around for a few happy hours. Cedar tables and benches, crafted by Alchemy owners and staff, are woodsy-chic and effortless, but the patio will see more action if future plans of glass-blowing demos, bands and ice cream socials come to fruition. As far as food options go, chefs Brandon McKelvey and Mark Garcia serve up an exquisite vegan mushroom curry and colorful off-menu specials that propel local produce to another level — aesthetically and delectably. CommonWealth CoffeeHouse & Bakery 118 Davis Ct. (210) 560-2955 commonwealthcoffeehouse.com If the inside of this faux-Parisian coffeeshop wasn’t sweet enough, CommonWealth owners have secured their place as the cutest outdoor space in town with the addition of plentiful covered seating on both front and back patios. The neighborhood-facing front of the house acts as street-level bistro while the back patio, complete with an

adorable chicken coop/treehouse and container gardens make you want to sip lattes in this Alamo Heights oasis all day long. Take in a crepe or Belgian waffle come weekend mornings, afternoon pastry or mid-day lunch of croque monsieur, quiche Lorraine or other Francophile favorites on weekdays. Silo Terrace Oyster Bar 22211 I-10 W. (210) 698-2002 silosa.com For a taste of the high life, and no we don’t mean the Champagne of Beers, head north. Way north. And land at the third Silo Terrace location in town that packs in an upscale menu, a fresh collection of oysters — which changes daily — and a great vino selection. A privacy fence works well for those power meetings, while the expert staff keeps service flowing regardless of where you’re dining at the eatery. We’re suckers for menu items that were in the Atlantic days before landing on the table, so the chef’s expertise with seafood keeps San Antonio Current food writers going back for more. Taps Y Tapas 1012 N. Flores St. (210) 277-7174 tapsytapas.com Though Taps y Tapas opened in 2013, the patio still remains an undiscovered refuge from the bustling city on most weeknights. Built around the historic 1883 Charles Ochse house, the front and back patios are built for relaxing to the max. Whether you’re taking advantage of the quiet front lawn enjoying a date night, or joining a group of friends for an evening of cold beers (there’s 24 mostly craft to choose from) on the sprawling back patio, Taps y Tapas has a bit of everything on the menu. Chef Luciano Valadez, formerly with Texasada Food Truck, packs in flavorful and light takes on accessible

Tons of choices for SA summer lounging, such as this cozy spot at Alchemy Kombucha & Culture.

patio food. Our last visit included lightly toasted slices of fluffy French bread topped with a chunky yet light avocado spread. Menu items change often — carne guisada fries, a favorite, have been replaced with just as tasty mole fries — the foundation for light and flavorful fun persists. Toro Taco Bar 114 Brooklyn Ave. torotacobar.com Downtown patios run the gamut from over-the-top haciendas to kitschy onthe-river tourist traps. If you’re willing to switch up the scene, Toro Taco Bar has an enviable menu of snacks, with special tacos making fairly regular appearances. Built by chef-owner Rick Frame, the gravel-lined and wood furniture patio borders on barebones, but the setting is more than worth a visit. You’re far enough away from the bustle of downtown where you can still admire the San Anto skyline, but you don’t have to pay for parking while enjoying three types of fresh-made guacamole, chicharrones with spicy

Valentina or aforementioned specials such as smoked Red Snapper tacos, achiote-laced molleja tacos and more. The Block 14530 Roadrunner Way (210) 690-3333 theblocksa.com Bear with me here — The Block may have been discovered by hordes of UTSA students, but the quaint and well-kept patio makes for a fun mid-week dining spot. Come weeknights, you won’t have to struggle over which of the usual trucks to choose from — only two or three trucks are available during the evening. Recent visits included offerings such as smashed plantains filled with picadillo and a spicy chimichurri from Gus’ Empanadas, and a boatload of Asian snacks out of Sir-Wacha. Wait times are decent, the atmosphere is mild and the soundtrack harkens back to college days filled with Death Cab For Cutie and other alt-rock jams. flavor@sacurrent.com sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 31

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Six Flags Fiesta Texas’ newest thrill ride may carry the Batman name, but just one go on this crazy contraption will have you thinking of The Joker. That’s because the Gotham City-themed attraction is the villain’s predilection for anarchy and chaos in rollercoaster form. Announced late last summer to great fanfare with a stomach-turning animated YouTube video, Batman: The Ride, the park’s eighth roller coaster, finally opened to the public last week. If you haven’t been to Fiesta Texas in a while, be sure to ride this thing at least once this summer, and after you do, it’s likely you’ll want to come back. Why? Because this is not your regular rollercoaster ride. The park is billing it as the world’s first “4D wing” coaster. Cars are attached to the track on the side, rather than above and below, enabling a 360-degree, free-flying, weightless experience. The track may not have the usual loops and sharp, angled banks to visually entice thrill-seekers, but don’t let the straightforward, innocuous grey and yellow steel frame fool you. This coaster delivers nothing but adrenalinepumping, disorienting mayhem. The 120-foot tall coaster features six head-over-heels flips facilitated by first-of-its-kind magnetic, on-board technology and two beyond-90-degree drops. As one of the fortunate people able to ride the coaster before its public opening, I can attest to this: For a brief two seconds I thought I was going to die thanks to gravity and one of those aforementioned drops. The rest of the

time, I didn’t know what the hell was going on. And I mean that in a good way. Batman: The Ride begins with a slow, 12-story elevator lift to the top of the track, giving you view of the Rockville area of the park and the Superman: Krypton Coaster straight ahead. Enjoy that view, because once the ride begins in earnest, you won’t able to discern much of anything else. The attraction delivers roughly a minute of rough-and-tumble mayhem — without the rough part. The track is remarkably smooth considering how many times the ride flips and flops you a full 360 degrees. While on-board, you face other riders — in my case, fellow San Antonio Current co-workers — giving you plenty of opportunity to show off your very best “I’m about to crap my pants” face. When we dizzily disembarked, I turned to my coworker and asked, “What the hell just happened?” Then we wondered when we could get on it again. Ride the Iron Rattler and Superman: Krypton Coaster enough times, and you get to know each coaster’s jostles, banks and turns. But the new Batman: The Ride tops Fiesta Texas’ other marquee attractions because it delivers a unique topsy-turvy experience. Riders will never know what to expect. Brief as it is, this one’s worth the hype. asalazar@sacurrent.com Batman: The Ride $47.99 and up, Six Flags Fiesta Texas, 17000 I-10 West, (210) 697-5050, sixflags.com/fiestatexas

sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 33

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SUMMER

KIDS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN Keep Them Movin’ And Shakin’ All Summer Long MURPHI COOK

With summer vacation just around the corner, your pint-sized roommates may have grand schemes of junk food and television. But once that sugar high wears off, those dog days can stretch on forever. Just for you, we’ve compiled a guide to help beat the boredom before it starts. From an impressive lineup of camps to out-of-the-ordinary amusement parks to breathtaking nature explorations, this summer will be anything but dull. Camps Gone are the days when summer camp means gluing feathers to a popsicle stick. The Alamo City’s got a slick selection of camps to keep the kids crafting, thinking, and balling all summer long. The Southwest School of Art’s Summer Art Studios recruits professional artists to teach more than 100 weeklong courses ($150, June 8-August 14). Courses include: a whirlwind week of making original works of art that move in Paper Animations; a fantastic exploration into monsters and the “exquisite corpse” game in Printmaking Monsters; and an introduction to the self portrait in Self-Portrait Constructions. Visit swschool. org/summerartstudios for details. Over in Southtown, Keller-Rihn Studio (deborahkellerrihn.com) hosts Blue Star Kids, a summer series of weeklong sessions that splits the day between art and fitness ($100-$145, June 1-July 31). Mornings bring students into the artist’s Blue Star studio where they can explore art forms such as photography, book arts, papiermâché and weaving, while afternoons mean outdoors and burnt energy with swimming, yoga and dance. Gemini Ink’s Camp Ink! (geminiink.org/camp-ink) gives campers the tools to create whole new worlds with their words. Whip up comic books, performance poetry, fairy tales and more in one of these weeklong sessions ($100-$200, June 16-July 24,). The Playhouse San Antonio’s Summer Theatre Camp (theplayhousesa.org) is the perfect spot to hone those acting chops during weeklong workshops ($250$380, June 1- August 21). Highlights include En Garde!, a stage combat course, and Do You Want to Be a Movie Star?, an all-ages course that explores the subtleties of acting for film. For the miniature inventor, check out SASTEMIC’s STEM-Maker Camps (sastemic.org) for weeklong courses that seek to prevent summer slide and promote creating new things ($255, June 29-August 14). Combining their high-quality Geekbus programs with

Parents, get ready. Prevent your kids’ summer boredom doldrums with our handy activity guide.

their Maker activities, campers can expect to dabble in robotics, stop-motion animation and video-game design. Venture Lab’s Entrepreneurship Education for Kids (venturelab.org/classes) encourages children to pursue big ideas ($375, June 8-August 14). Courses include Film & Musicpreneur, a hands-on class where students produce their own music and videos, and Youth Startup, a hands-on experiment in starting your own business. Just because the season is over doesn’t mean your basketball fiend can’t shoot hoops with the greats. Spurs Summer Basketball Camp Sessions (spurscamps. com) offer weeklong programs of basketball instruction featuring drills, games, and competitions. Highlights include a co-ed session taught by the Big Three’s Tony Parker ($315, June 15-19) and an all-boys Spurs overnight camp at the University of Incarnate Word ($505, July 5-10). The Harlem Globetrotter Summer Basketball Camp (mcsportspark.org) pairs participants with Globetrotters stars at Mission Concepción Sports Park on July 24. The co-ed daylong session focuses on ball handling, teamwork and fun. Attractions and Theme Parks It just wouldn’t be summer if you didn’t log some quality hours on the local attraction circuit. Home to the Master Blaster Uphill Water Coaster, the death-defying threestory contraption that propels its passengers using jet stream technology, Schlitterbahn (schlitterbahn.com) has redefined the waterpark experience. With over 70 acres of rousing adventure along the Comal River, there’s something for everyone to get soaked on. It’s easy to forget you’re in Texas when you drive through the Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch (wildliferanchtexas.com). With hundreds of exotic, native,

and endangered species ambling over 400 acres of land, this may be the only place where the view from your car window is a zebra’s snout. Inspired by young Morgan Hartman’s own “boundless love and ability to soar above her challenges,” Morgan’s Wonderland (morganswonderland.com) seeks to provide a place where everyone can play regardless of age or disability. Attractions include a music garden, a rustic fishing wharf and both traditional and wheelchair swings. Area State Parks Beat the heat with a state park daytrip. Just 45 minutes away, Guadalupe River State Park (3350 Park Rd. 31, Spring Branch) offers four miles of river frontage for fishing, swimming, tubing, canoeing and overnight camping. And, with an onsite Children’s Discovery Center that features hands-on scientific exhibits, your pint-sized naturalist will learn to see the park in a whole new light. Visitors can step back into the pastimes of yesteryear at Landa Park (164 Landa Park Dr., New Braunfels). Enjoy a scenic picnic under the ancient oaks before boarding the miniature train that scoots around the expanse of the 51-acre park. For $3, you can hop into a paddleboat for an easy-going exploration of the park’s pristine Landa Lake. For breathtaking backdrops for your midsummer hikes, there is no place better than Lost Maples State Natural Area (37221 FM 187, Vanderpool). And, with 11 miles of trails, 30 campsites, swimming and oodles of big-tooth maples, you may want to grab the sleeping bag and turn this daytrip into an overnight stay. Be sure to snag a Junior Ranger Journal whenever you visit any Texas State Park for unique activities, wilderness tips and nature art projects for your own junior ranger to complete on site. sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 35

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SUMMER

We’re making sure you won’t run out of ways to cool down this summer.

COOL LICKS

Or How We Learned To Keep Cool In SA Summers JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS

Though El Niño is keeping things relatively cool lately, we all know we’re in for hot summer months. Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to cool down and take in a chilly snack in the area. Here’s a quick rundown of your sweet and icy options: Scoop It Up If you miss Blue Bell, there are plenty of places to visit to fill the void. You can start at Justin’s on the River Walk (245 E. Commerce St., 210-222-2707) where flavors of sorbets, gelatos and ice creams are all made in-house since 1981 (with a brief four-year break). Rio De Gelato returned to the River Walk early this year (102 Navarro St., 210-223-0800) with flavors made by Riccardo Pisano. Flavors change seasonally, but you’ll find true-to-Italy iterations like the Spiaggia, or beach for mid-day snacking, with berry, pistachio and cream.

Take a trip up I-10 and visit Brindles Awesome Ice Creams at The Strand (11255 Huebner Rd., 210-6415222). As this year’s Critic’s Pick in our Best of San Antonio issue, the ice cream and gelato shop nails sweet and wacky flavors, but we’re suckers for the Azteca. Stone Oak habitants can satiate their cool cravings at Napa Flats Wood-Fired Kitchen (1301 N. Loop 1604 W., 210-504-2555) where their pastry chef whips up peanut butter, bacon and banana odes to Elvis and a sweet salted caramel. Then again, you can always rely on aerial treats via Amy’s Ice Cream (255 E. Basse Road, 210-8328886) and savory renditions at Lick Ice Creams (312 Pearl Pkwy., Suite 2101, 210-314-8166) out of Austin. Keep your eye out for future player The House (732 S. Alamo St.), where owners are promising boozy, creamy creations. Keep It Puro Picking a raspa joint these days could result in a social media turf war. We’re not about the online drama, but we can get down with San Anto’s favorite pickle-filled concoctions. Whether you’re getting chamoy-filled mangonadas at Big Daddy’s Eats & Treats brick-andmortar (228 E. Cevallos St., 210-455-3044) or following around the newly pimped-out truck, which will hit up city parks this summer, the King of the Raspas has got you covered.

Need a feminine touch? Follow Chamoy City Limits, where owner Ana Fernandez (artist and Chili Queen) and her staff make syrups from scratch for their shaved ice and create sour candy sushi boats to drool over. Visit Frozen Fridays (447 W. Hildebrand Ave., Suite 105, 210-320-8300), where you can entertain the kids with board games while you wait for your carved-out pineapple Spongebob or pile on the diced pickles in your picadilly explosion. If you’ve got an hour to spare, visit either location of Las Nieves (4310 Blanco Rd., 1118 W. Hildebrand), now an OG destination for powdery shaved ice or nieves in natural flavors. Paletas Party When it comes to Mexi-pops, there are two places that hold our hearts and stomachs. El Paraiso (1934 Fredericksburg, 210-737-8101), which opened in 1984 in the Deco District, still holds the local crown for most paletas and flavors available at one time. We’re suckers for horchata and coconut, but we’re digging their spicy chile-laced versions of mango con chile, tamarindo and plain ol’ Lucas. If you like your popsicles a little more niche, SA Pops (3420 N. St. Mary’s St., 210-736-2526) caters to the organic-loving set with chef-made fruit purees resulting in balanced pops (which you can alter by having them dipped in chocolate). flavor@sacurrent.com sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 37

OUT OF THIS WORLD summer camps

The Scobee Education Center at San Antonio College (1819 N. Main Ave.) will host a pair of STEM camps for students in the 3rd through 8th grades. Each camper will receive a Scobee Education Center T-Shirt. Campers must bring their own lunch. Snacks and water will be provided.

Session I

Explorers STEM Camp For 3rd through 5th graders June 22-26, 2015 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Cost: $200/week or $45/day 38 CURRENT • May 27-June 2, 2015 • sacurrent.com

Session II

For more information, visit alamo.edu/sac/ScobeeSummerCamps

New Horizons STEM Camp For 6th through 8th graders July 20-24, 2015 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. $225/week or $50/day

SUMMER

HILL COUNTRY THRILLS

Set Your Inner Adrenaline Junkie Free This Summer MARK REAGAN/@210REAGAN SKYDIVE SAN MARCOS

Ah, summer in San Antonio. The air is thick and stifling hot and the smell of barbecue wafts through Alamo City neighborhoods. While thousands will beat the heat by cooling off in favorite watering holes, South Texas thrill-seekers may need more than a cold beer and a cool pool to pass the time — like say, plummeting hundreds of feet from a plane. But in jam-packed San Antonio, the only seemingly life-threatening fun might be at Six Flags Fiesta Texas’ new Batman rollercoaster ride. Now the Texas Hill Country, however, offers a number of opportunities for daredevil-types. Drive an hour north and you’ll find Skydive San Marcos (517 Airfield Rd., (512) 488-2214), which boasts being the only drop zone within 150 miles of Austin and San Antonio. Skydive San Marcos has operated for three decades and uses several planes, including a Super Cessna Caravan with a capacity for 138 jumpers per hour. Now, if you’re nervous about jumping solo or don’t have time for elaborate training requirements, novices can choose a tandem jump with a trained instructor Weekend pricing is $209 and a mid-week jump costs $199, with slight discounts for students, active military members and veterans. And if you just can’t get enough of falling from the sky, $99 gets you a second same-day jump. Now, maybe thrills are your thing but the idea of diving from high up in Earth’s atmosphere is a bit too much. If that’s the case, Wimberly Zipline Adventures (300 Winn Valley Dr., (512) 847-9990) might be a better bet for you. The attraction has 10 ziplines that take people at a maximum height of more than 100 feet and speeds of 30 mph over canyons, meadows and scenic Hill Country landscapes. The ride will surely trigger your adrenaline glands.

Let your inner daredevil loose this summer.

The fun lasts from an hour-and-ahalf to two hours and even 10-yearolds (youngest allowed) can join in on the fun. There are five tours a day during the summer, running at 9 a.m., 11 a.m., 1 p.m., 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. But you can’t just show up and ride the zipline. Wimberly Zipline requires a reservation and a $43 deposit. The total cost is $86 per tour and includes bottled water, a guided walking tour, and, of course, everything you need for ziplining across the Hill Country. The deposit is non-refundable unless you cancel a week before your tour. While Skydive San Marcos and Wimberly Zipline are great for adults, the kiddos need a little exhilaration from time to time, too. Natural Bridge Caverns (26495 Natural Bridge Caverns Rd., (210) 6516101) has an awesome 60-foot Canopy Challenge that features obstacles and ziplines. But it also has a course designed for toddlers and young children so no one feels left out of summer thrills. sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 39

Hot Town, Summer In The City Pinot’s Palette has the perfect date and girls’ night party atmomsphere for your summer nights. Want some sweet summer swag and two free seats? Upload a picture of you and / or your favorite summer drink, include the recipe and tag Pinot’s Palette - Alamo Heights on Facebook and use hashtag #pinotspalettecocktail to be entered into our June drawing. pinotspalette.com/alamoheights/classes 210-832-8004 • 7959 Broadway #402 corner of Broadway and Sunset

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ALL SUMMER! TheVanityRoomSA.com vanityroomsa 11703 Huebner Road, Suite 202 210.414.6985 40 CURRENT • May 27-June 2, 2015 • sacurrent.com

SUMMER

The Frio River is a secluded alternative to the usually packed New Braunfels scene.

THE UNBEARABLE LAMENESS OF TOOBING A Hater’s Guide To A Thoroughly Texan Pastime MATT STIEB/@MATTHEWSTIEB

Maybe it’s because I’m not a native Texan, but from the first time I plopped my ass in a scalding hot, donut-hole toob and launched into the slow crawl of the river, I loathed the experience from the core of my being. Sure, the cypress trees are utterly gorgeous. And the floating cooler with built-in speakers is one of the greatest feats of American ingenuity since the Wright brothers turned their bicycle shop into an airplane factory (by the way, a speaker-cooler is the only way to truly appreciate the collected works of Kid Rock). But laying in a sluggish river, frying my nerd-pale skin and surrounded by a who’s who of frat stars unofficially sponsored by Bud Light, the typical toobing trip is my vision of a floating waiting area from hell. Other than the superfluous spelling, I’ve got the perfect anecdote for why toobing, at least in New Braunfels, blows. In 2012, before the city banned cans and disposable containers on the rivers, the municipal government held a public hearing. At the civic circus, an anti-ban zealot had to be hauled away by the police, an effected business owner threw bandz of cash at the council a la 2 Chainz and some righteous lawyer promised to override the injustice in court.

I’m no teetotal prude, but if outdoor boozing/polluting gets a city psyched enough to make a municipal hearing sound like buffet lunch at a Tampa strip club — police presence, bandz, lawsuit allegations; check, check and check — something is rotten in the state of South Texas. But not all is lost for anti-social haters determined to hit the water, particularly if it’s their first time and they just want to try it out. The first option is simply to visit the popular spots early, riding the Comal chute or the easy-going Guadalupe before the crowds — both rivers are once again can-friendly. Rental spots in the area open as early as 9 a.m., so you can get in the river and out for lunch before the masses roll in. The alternative is the Frio River in Concan, about 84 miles West of San Antonio. What you pay for in driving time you make up for in seclusion, with far less toobers out on the cold, springfed water. There are plenty of outfitters and rental spots, though if you’re cruising for some boozing, buy in San Antonio. Alcohol-free counties surround the Frio River and you don’t want to be left hanging dry. With blue-green water, decidedly less humans and limestone bluffs for ogling and diving, the Frio is the prime toobing experience for the true toob hater.

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Friday, May 29: Pollo Tropical, a Caribbean-inspired fast casual chain restaurant, is slowly expanding its San Antonio footprint with the opening of its fourth location off 281 North and Evans. Festivities start Monday with coupons for the first 100 guests and a chance to enter to win free chicken for a year. Free admission, 10am11pm, 20518 U.S. 281 N., pollotropical.com. Saturday, May 30: It’s time for a carnival-themed party at Max’s Wine Dive. The Houston-based eatery will host Wine-O-Palooza on its patio with chocolate covered bacon, chicken and waffle sliders on a stick and funnel cake as made by chef Lionel “Butch” Blache. Stop in for live music, adult face painting (!), wine bottle ring toss and a squirt gun shooting range. Admission includes samples of more than 20 wines. $40 general, $50 VIP, 1-4pm, 340 E. Basse Road, Suite 101, (210) 444-9547, maxswinedive.com. Sunday, May 31: Support the San Antonio Food Bank’s Summer Food Service Program while dining al fresco. Houston Street Charities, along with Centro San Antonio and Paseo del Rio Association will host Houston Street Food, a community picnic with upscale baskets available for pre-order from Bohanan’s Restaurant & Bar, Lüke San Antonio, Market on Houston, The Monterey, The Palm, Tre Trattoria and Catalyst Catering, with unlimited wine and beer. For every $1 raised, seven children in need will be fed this summer. $50 or $25 for a kid-friendly basket from Catalyst, 11:30am-2pm, between Navarro & North St. Mary’s, reserve your basket at sanantoniococktailconference.com.

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Sunday, May 31: Pig roasts are way too hot right now. As such, Park Social will host a Big Pig Jig with plates of lechón asado, arroz con gandules, grilled oysters and more. The Caribbean-style affair will culminate with pitches and ponches of island-fave cocktails (there may also be a few tiki libations to boot). $10 for plates, drink prices vary, 4pm, 224 E. Olmos Drive, park-social.com. Send food- and booze-related events to flavor@sacurrent.com. sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 57

NIGHTLIFE

SARA LUNA

CANINE OUTING Feel Like Getting Food And Drinks With Fido In Tow? No Problem AINSLEY CAFFREY

Want to have a couple drinks and have your pooch to tag along, but you’re not sure where to go? Whether you want to take the whole family out or sip on some fancy cocktails with your well-behaved four-legged companion, we’ve found places sure to please you and your pet. You can get your drink on while your pet gets out of the house. Always remember to leash your pets and clean up after them. And be mindful of other bar-goers who may not like Fido so much. Take the Family Out To … The Luxury 103 E. Jones Ave., (210) 354-2274 11am-9pm Tues-Thu, 11am-10pm Fri-Sat, noon-9pm Sunday

Grab a brew (and the best fries in town, while you’re at it) at The Luxury. Oh, and bring your furry friend with you.

Your family and your dog can kickback and relax at The Luxury. For the adults, there is an extensive beer menu (which changes frequently) to choose from and a few wine options, too. The Luxury is moderately priced, so you won’t break the bank after having some brews. Sit back, relax and grab a couple beers or glasses of wine while munching on some of the best fries in San Antonio (they dubbed them “crack fries,” and they are truly addicting). Your family and your well-behaved companion can gaze out at the River Walk and enjoy the summer sun (there are covered tables, too, but they go fast). Fair warning: It’s a good idea to bring sunblock. Another suggestion for your dog is if you’re going to be handing out for a while: Bring a portable water bowl because there are not many available there. If you get tired of sitting and feel like stretching out the legs, take the family and pooch for a stroll on the River Walk. If you’re looking for other family- and dog-friendly eateries, try The Cove (606 W. Cypress St.), The Friendly Spot (943 S. Alamo St.) or La Tuna (100 Probandt St.). The Cove and Friendly Spot both have playgrounds for the kiddos. There’s also a small dog park at The Cove where they can let out some of that energy and hang with other furry companions. Grab a Brew With Your Dog at … The Hoppy Monk 1010 N. Loop 1604 E., (210) 545-3330, thehoppymonk.com 3pm-2am Mon-Thu, 11:30am-2am Fri-Sun 58 CURRENT • May 27-June 2, 2015 • sacurrent.com

Still fairly new to San Antonio, The Hoppy Monk has a beer for everyone (and cocktails, too). Your dog can rejoice in the sun on the spacious outdoor patio while you drink an IPA or two. Your server will even bring a bowl of water for the pooch — you gotta keep them hydrated and cool during these hot, summer days. Although the draught menu looks daunting at first, it’s split up into categories (Blonde/Amber Ales, Lagers/Pilsners/Kolsch, Wheat Beer/Hefeweizen, Pale Ales, India Pale Ales, Brown Ales, Strong Ales, Stouts/Porters, Belgian Style Ales, Ciders/ Lambic/Fruit) to help you navigate through the giant beer selection. They will bring you beer samples, so you can find one that you’ll like while exploring the menu. Go ahead, why not, try one you’ve never had before. Beers on draft range between $4.85-$9. The food menu is pretty impressive, too — with vegan and vegetarian options for all the omnivores out there. Carnivores, fret not, they’ve got you covered as well with plenty of burger options. Make sure to ask your server about the Mac of the Moment … hey, who can pass up some good ol’ mac and cheese? Other great places to grab a pint at around San Antonio are The Flying Saucer (11255 Huebner Road, Ste. 212), Freetail (4035 N. Loop 1604 W. #105) Blue Star Brewery (1414 S. Alamo St.) and GS 1221 (1221 Broadway). Nothing like a locally-brewed beer that will have your dog drooling for a sip (better not risk it, though).

Have a Glass of Wine at … Dough Pizzeria Napoletana 6989 Blanco Road, (210) 979-6565, doughpizzeria.com 11am-9pm Mon-Thu, 11am-10pm Fri-Sat, 11am-9pm Sun. Dough’s pizza is famous in SA and for good reason — even your dog will be begging for a bite of the savory crust. Although the patio is small, you can still have a nice glass of wine with your trusty companion. The coupleowned (Doug Horn and Lori Horn) pizzeria works with farmers and vendors to ensure that all of the ingredients are truly fresh and delicious. But let’s get to the wine. Dough ensures that any glass of wine you order is sure to please your palate, from rosé to malbec. They pick the tastiest Italian wine from their vendors: Dionysus, Glazer’s, Martin-ulisse imports, New vintage, Pioneer wines, Prestige, Serendipity and Virtuoso. You can order wine by the glass or the bottle. Prices range from $7$11.50 for a glass. At Dough, you can cool down with a glass of Chardonnay during warm, summer evenings while spending some quality time with Spot. And hey, how’s this for an original incentive? Bring your pooch along and actually save money. Dough offers a 15 percent discount when you bring your pet along. That’s something to toast about. Following dinner and drinks, take the dog over to Phil Hardberger Park a couple of miles up on Blanco and

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burn off some off those calories. The park has a large, enclosed play area for dogs. Other places to enjoy a glass of wine in Saytown are Piatti’s (255 E. Basse Road, Ste. 500) and The Boiler House Texas Grill and Wine Garden (312 Pearl Pkwy.). The Boiler House’s location in the Pearl is perfect for a mid-afternoon stroll with your pup. Sip on a Cocktail at … Ocho 1015 Navarro St., (210) 222-2008, havanasanantonio.com Sun-Thu 7am-10pmsun-Thu, 7am- midnight, Fri-Sat Ocho’s small but quaint patio has one of the best views of the river and it’s pet-friendly, to boot. Located along the North River Walk and part of Hotel Havana, the pan-Latin influenced restaurant is the perfect place to go out to on a date and bring your pet along. The Havana Bar is located downstairs from Ocho, where your date can grab you a cocktail so you and your pet can enjoy the patio upstairs. Lush, green vines climb up

the sides of the building surrounding the patio and twinkly lights sparkle in the evening, providing an ideal setting for a romantic night. Big chandeliers dangle from the ceilings inside the glass and steel conservatory that can be seen from the patio. Ocho’s old-world charm transports you to a warm Havana night in Cuba. Sip a cold mojito or Hemingway Daiquiri during a balmy, summer night. Lay your troubles at ease and enjoy the good company of your dog and date. During Ocho’s Havana Hi-Fi Tuesdays (7-10 p.m.) enjoy live music from DJ Steven Lee Moya and Friends as well as food and drink specials. Cocktails at Ocho are mid-range ($8-$12), so visiting them during Hi-Fi Tuesdays or happy hour (4-6 p.m.) can save you some bucks. Go for the awesome atmosphere and stay for the delicious drinks. After having a few cocktails at Ocho, take a walk along the river and take in the beauty of San Antonio. Your pooch will thank you for it. Other great pet-friendly cocktail bars to visit are Stay Golden Social House (401 Pearl Pkwy.), Viva Tacoland (103 W. Grayson St.) and Blue Box (312 Pearl Pkwy.).

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NIGHTLIFE

TAPPING THE CONVO

Our Newly Formed Beer Group Samples Summer Brews LANCE HIGDON

This month, your humble beer correspondent joins the 21st century with the first episode of Tapping The Conversation, the San Antonio Current’s beer podcast. I’ll be hanging out each month with a rad lad/lass from the SA brew scene and one regular denizen from our city’s ale-loving audience to share our favorite bottles and swap stories about cultura de cerveza pura artesenal. This month features Station IPA slinger Sandy Duff, Schertz-based aficionado Paul Frost and myself holding forth on our respective favorites. LH: Sandy, how are you doing today? SD: I’m doing pretty good. Enjoying this Hop Stoopid you got for me. LH: Indeed. And what is it that you love so much about the Hop Stoopid? SD: Lagunitas Brewing out of Petaluma, California is probably one of my favorite breweries out there. Hop Stoopid is their double/imperial IPA. I think it’s 8.2 percent (ABV), really high on the IBUs — this one sits at 102, which is really high on the bitterness scale. It’s a really smooth-drinking double and doesn’t have that really strong alcohol taste that keeps you from wanting to keep drinking it. Honestly, this is the biggest beer I can drink that doesn’t give me a hangover in the morning. LH: You heard it here first, folks — no hangovers guaranteed. SD: I wouldn’t say guaranteed… LH: No guarantees. Paul, what do you have today? PF: I have a saison from Save The World Brewing — I’m not even going to try to pronounce what they have here (Froctum Bonum, Latin for “The Good Fruit”). It’s a fairly new brewery. I think they have seven or eight brews they’re putting out right now, based out of Marble Falls. I’ve read a little bit about their brewery and what motivated these brewers to get into the business — [owners Dave and Quynh Rathkamp] were doctors and

realized that we have a lot of issues in our country that don’t even qualify as issues in other parts of the world — [they] realized that and found a higher calling. Much of the proceeds from this brewery go to various causes to help people around the world. LH: On to me, then. I have found apparently something of a shelf whale — the Yellow Rose IPA from Lone Pint Brewery, which is based in Magnolia. I’ve heard a lot of awesome things about it from people whose beer opinions I respect on the World Wide Web and grabbed it. It’s super well-balanced — I’m definitely tasting a lot of Citra and a little bit of Amarillo hops (author’s retraction: this is actually a single hop IPA that only uses Mosaic. I will be retraining my tastebuds this month). Aside from the hoppiness, there’s a little bit of citrus, a lemony quality to it. It’s super-light, 6.2 percent ABV or so, in a champagne bottle. I don’t know if I could do the whole thing myself without after-effect, but definitely something really rad and worth sharing. SD: I really like this Yellow Rose you have. We’ve had it a couple of times over at the bar I work at (The Station

Tap Room) and back when I was working at The Friendly Spot. To a lot of bartenders, it is the cream of the crop of Texas IPAs. It’s so drinkable, not too bitter, but does have enough bitterness to catch you. A lot of the IPAs I’ve had from here are more in the English style — malty, not very hopful — and this is kind of between those two. PF: It’s got a flavor you’re not going to find in a lot of other IPAs — almost a fruity flavor, which you don’t normally find. I showed up at the brewery last year — I just kinda showed up and started drinking their beer, they were real cool about that — and they had a few other beers flowing pretty freely. They had been selling for a little while, but started rolling back their distribution — kind of a Jester King-type thing, where people are willing to make the trip there rather than them having to take the beer to the road. We’ve printed the most taste-related parts here, but if you care to hear opinions about recent label approvals, reliable online beer knowledge and whether peanuts qualify as a snob-beer snack, check out the first episode of Tapping The Conversation on sacurrent.com. sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 61

Happy Hours Happy Hour of the Week

Downtown Central The Local Bar

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Kimura

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North Central Slackers

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V I S I T H A P P Y H O U R S . S A C U R R E N T. C O M 62 CURRENT • May 27-June 2, 2015 • sacurrent.com

Northwest The Irish Pub

Happy Hour Every Day from 2-8 pm Discounts on everything in the bar including: $2.50 wells and domestic bottles $3.50 Jameson, Jack, Tito’s, Skyy & Deep Eddy $3 Sweet Tart and Starf*cker Shots $1 off all Draft Beers Daily Specials Sunday-Monday!

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Northeast Charlie Brown’s Neighborhood Bar & Grill Charlie-Browns.com • 210-496-7092 Mon.-Fri. until 7pm $2.75 well drinks, $8.00 domestic pitchers $2.75 domestic longnecks Mon.-Fri. 2-6pm 60¢ Wings

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64 CURRENT • May 27-June 2, 2015 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

STEVE CIRCEO

MODERN WORLD The Saarinens’ Debut Is A Paean To Predicament JAMES COURTNEY

Named for Eero Saarinen, the Finnish architect who designed St. Louis’ gateway arch and the TWA Flight Center at JFK International Airport, The Saarinens is Mike Chapa’s (Whiskey Ships) newest project and his most collaborative effort to date. Chapa, a gifted singer-songwriter with a knack for sparse yet penetrating lyricism, told the San Antonio Current in a phone interview that the name felt appropriate because Saarinen’s “Simple and sweeping aesthetic, coupled with a machine-like rationalism, strongly connects to the kind of music we make.” Like some dusty Texas midnight, unsure if you’re staring into the darkness or if it’s staring at you, The Saarinens début album Modern World is unsettlingly serene and wrought with sublime tension between contrasts. Musically, while culling influences like Yo La Tengo, Wilco, The Velvet Underground and Pavement, the band successfully crafts a cohesive and passably unique aesthetic. The album’s finest song, and title track, said Chapa, is inspired in part “by the life and work of Texas eccentric and visionary artist Forrest Bess.” Bess’ strange presence here — established through allusions to his biography and his Jungian art, steeped in his own rich and off-centered understanding of archetypes and the way to the collective unconscious through self-exploration — acts as a foil to the identity-crushing alienation the song cryptically elucidates. Beyond the power of individual songs — there are some great ones here — Modern World is a unified and tightlycrafted work that plumbs the depths of our contemporary troubles with living. Chapa, who “think[s] that songwriting can help you understand your world better and relate to people more,” writes poetic lyrics that capture emotions, worldviews and bits of memory in finely-woven word-webs that, when set against the emotive movements of the music, send the listener into a kind of luminous anxiety. “You have to find ways to write about stuff like love and family relationships that makes it fresh,” he mused.

Mike Chapa (left) with the rest of The Saarinens, named after Finnish architect who designed the famed St. Louis gateway arch.

“It is important for me to be real and write about the real concerns of my life.” Of the band’s formation, Chapa explained that “the timing was just right with Brant [Sankey, guitar] and Darren [Kuper, drums], because they were looking for a band project and I was thinking of recording this set of songs on like a solo album, but it turned out so much better this way.” Chapa, who also recruited Raul Alvarez (Cartographers, Whirlybirds) to play bass, was frequently eager to point out that “Whiskey Ships was more [his] project, whereas The Saarinens is way more of a group effort, a collaborative process.” For his part, Sankey, who does most of his musical work as a producer (The Please Help, Rosedale Highs), told the Current that he happily ceded production duties to Lucas Oswald early on in the process. “I didn’t record the Saarinens record, by choice,” Sankey said. “I was enthusiastic to get that distance, so I could just enjoy being a part of a band.” Going further, and citing the need for an outside perspective, Sankey explained that he’s seen too many recordings

botched when someone in a band tries to also handle the production. Sankey described the group’s collaboration as an exploratory process of embellishing Chapa’s songs. “Mike lets us pull the songs into a lot more strange territory than some songwriters might be comfortable with,” he explained. Chapa, 40, played in a few bands (Burt Reynolds University, The Craze) in the late ’90s and early ’00s before he “started having kids” and took six years off, from 2004 until the first Whiskey Ships album in 2010. Now, Modern World is Chapa’s third album in five years, a remarkable feat considering the dude’s juggling music with family life and a “really boring day job” that keeps him busy up to 50 hours a week. Chapa admitted that “it’s not easy” to accomplish this sort of balancing act. Cheekily, he added, “the way I figure it is that I’m not golfing or hanging out at bars, so this is my hobby. And yeah, it’s an expensive hobby, but how much do golfing and therapy cost?” Dig the album at thesaarinens.bandcamp.com. sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 65

66 CURRENT • May 27-June 2, 2015 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

CROSSOVER BLUES

Romeo Santos Gets More Hits Than Beyoncé MATT STIEB/@MATTHEWSTIEB But Remains Unknown It’s been a long time since a top standing on the Billboard chart marked a true measurement of stardom. Last year, Romeo Santos’ Formula, Vol. 2 entered the marketplace at a respectable fifth place, eventually selling a walletfattening 245,000 copies. But who’s outright purchasing pop albums in 2015? A better metric is YouTube, that timesucking portal of the band Aventura became a dominant Google panopticon. Santos’ name in the genre. In the time-tested most popular video, the infidelitous fashion of American boy bands, Santos “Propuesta Indecente,” has amassed ditched the successful crew to become over 685 million views since it came wildly successful with his 2011 album out in 2013. To cross-reference that Formula, Vol. 1. staggering number, Beyoncé’s most On Formula and its follow-up, Santos viewed flick, “Single Ladies,” garnered roots the music in the bachata guitar 385 million hits. rhythm, waxing romantic in a high tenor. Born in The Bronx, the 33-year-old Not quite a crossover into straightSantos is an international sex symbol, up pop, Santos works with enough yet in most neighborhoods in America, Top 40 melodies and I-V-vi-IV chord his name recognition is about as poor progressions — the common ancestor as Bernie Sanders’. Or, they might of American music, from Iggy Pop’s know him as that tanned wealth“The Passenger” to Madonna’s “Like a god from Furious Seven who hides Prayer” — to put him in the family tree as Jordana Brewster from bad guys in his his English-singing cousins. Dominican mansion. Despite his star status throughout In real life, Santos is known as the Latin America, Santos is still somewhat King of Bachata, taking the traditional invisible to the monolingual U.S. Dominican form and campaigning with crowd. He can sell out Yankee it across the globe. Bachata has been Stadium in less than 48 hours, but a piece of Dominican culture since can still be confused in the media for the early 20 th century, a summit of the other Bronx singers, as he was at the bolero and African rhythms on the 2015 Billboard Music Awards, when guitar. interviewers mistook Prince Royce for For most of the century, the music Santos during an interview. remained stranded in the Caribbean Since its arrival in conversation in island, locked away by the cultural the late ’50s, pop music has repression of dictator Rafael Trujillo. But increasingly become a tag of genre when El Jefe was assassinated in 1961, or style, moving away from its bachata met the modern wonder of the understanding as commercially popular vinyl press and the style quickly came music. But if we take that to America. In New York, the second definition for the truth, pressure cooker of American Romeo Santos Romeo Santos may be the most music, the electric guitar was $60-$150 popular male artist working in 9pm Saturday, May 30 introduced to the swaying Freeman Coliseum America — and certainly in the rhythms of bachata. 3201 E. Houston St. Americas — today. Santos enters the picture in (210) 226-1177 mstieb@sacurrent.com ticketmaster.com 1994, when his bachata boy

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68 CURRENT • May 27-June 2, 2015 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

SPACE IS THE PLACE

CLUB SiRIUS

11 years & counting

Afrofuturist George Clinton Hits The Aztec ALEJANDRA RAMIREZ

“I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe,” says a faceless, pained voice. “I was not offended. For I knew I had to rise above it all.” Then the introduction to Funkadelic’s ’73 masterpiece Maggot Brain truly began: a guitar solo soliloquy that screamed of pain and adversity, imploring some greater human struggle. It begged and begged for something greater, ushering in an era of funk that encouraged listeners to ascend beyond their earthly existence — to go Beyond. The Afrofuturist aesthetic of George Clinton was born, bearing Sun Ra’s cultural zeitgeist of “Space is the Place” as its mantra. Instead of living in the mar of oppression, the band sought MLK through a “musical message to an escape in a new form of black art. improve momentum and seek electronic George Clinton and his chance.” Then in the late 80s, De La extraterrestrial brothers Eddie Hazel, Soul’s jazzy beats felt like liniment. Bootsy Collins and Bernie Worrell With all its fancy wordplay, it turned pioneered a sound that was paranoid, machismo hip-hop on its head and desperate and bursting at the seams asked listeners to “get down in the with no reservations. It sounded larger D.A.I.S.Y age” (da inner sound, y’all). Soon after, Three Stacks and than life, with solar-kissed lysergic Andre 3000 crash-landed in Atlanta, revelations screaming, “You don’t buy a releasing a triptych of albums that life, you live a life.” proved hip-hop could flow as smooth Even though George Clinton and as the ’70s grooves of Sly and the company inspired a statement of Family Stone but still segue effortlessly freedom of expression, it was never into Cadillac sub-woofer booms. Even a coherent one. And maybe it was Flying Lotus’ You’re Dead sprawls out never meant to be, as schizophrenic of control into black-hole collapses and musings jolted with distortion and drone-clattered headaches, raw-speed, acid-induced only to be accompanied by funk musings continued to George Clinton cartoonish weirdness. blow out the stereo seams in & Parliament/ And like George Clinton, hip-hop. Funkadelic each creates individualized In the 80s, Afrika Bambatta $25-$45 spaces, tracing their own carried the torch of P-funk with 8pm Thurs, May 28 Aztec Theatre direction to the unconventional the battle cry “Renegades 104 N. St. Mary’s urge to create new worlds of of Funk,” preaching the (210) 812-4355 their own. word of Malcolm X and theaztectheatre.com

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sacurrent.com • May 27-June 2, 2015 • CURRENT 69

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MUSIC

WED

Ximena Sariñana

Growing up in the public eye (her father is a well-known Mexican director), Guadalajara native Ximena Sariñana is used to being in the limelight. As a classically trained pianist/singer, Sariñana integrates singer-songwriter intimacy with enough alt-rock flair to keep the torch of interest burning. Her début album, 2008’s Mediocre, stunned critics and international listeners with its unique take on Mexico’s indie music scene. With it, she garnered both Latin and American Grammy nominations, the 10th spot on Billboard’s Latin Pop charts and platinum status in Mexico. On “Different,” Sariñana’s first single off of her sophomore album Ximena Sariñana, she proclaims herself as an alien living amongst conformity, a theme found throughout both albums. As always, it’s with an up-beat pop attitude characteristic of her shimmering career. $13, 7pm, The Korova, 107 E. Martin, (210) 226-5070, thekorova.com — Shannon Sweet

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MUSIC

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SAVAGE LOVE by Dan Savage

You often mention asexual people. I believe I may be one. I’m a 51-year-old woman. I’ve been separated from my opposite-sex partner for nearly nine years. I’ve been approached by a variety of men, each one interested in becoming “more than friends.” I haunt Craigslist’s “platonic m4w” section, but each time I reach out to someone, he turns out to want a FWB or NSA relationship. It’s frustrating! That part of my life — the sex part — is really and truly over! I had many sex partners for many years, I had a good run and now I’m done. When I find someone attractive, I admire them in a nonsexual way. But I do masturbate. Not often. I can go two or three weeks without needing (or thinking about) release. When I do masturbate, it’s more of a “stretching activity” than a passionate requirement. Do true asexuals masturbate? Am I correct in identifying as asexual instead of heterosexual? Or am I a straight person who has simply retired from the field? No Need For Sex “There’s some handy-dandy research on this topic,” said David Jay, founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN). Jay is the world’s most prominent asexuality activist and widely acknowledged as the founder of the asexuality movement. Researchers at the University of British Columbia studied the masturbatory habits of asexual individuals and compared them to the masturbatory habits of people with low sexual desire (“Sexual Fantasy and Masturbation Among Asexual Individuals,” Morag A. Yule, Lori A. Brotto, and Boris B. Gorzalka, the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality). “[They found that] the majority of asexual people (about 56 percent) masturbate on at least a monthly basis,” said Jay, compared to 75 percent of

individuals with low sexual desire. “For a sizable chunk of us, this is about a sense of physical release rather than about sexual fantasy. Masturbation and partnered sex are very different things, and desiring one doesn’t mean that we automatically desire the other.” So, NNFS, the fact that you masturbate occasionally — as a “stretching activity” (ouch?) — doesn’t disqualify you from identifying as asexual. And while the fact that you were sexually active for many years, presumably happily, and always with men could mean you’re a straight lady with low to no sexual desire, you’re nevertheless free to embrace the asexual label if it works for you. “If you’re not drawn to be sexual with anyone, then you have a lot in common with a lot of people in the asexual community,” said Jay. “That being said, there’s no such thing as a ‘true’ asexual. If the word seems useful, use it. At the end of the day, what matters is how well we understand ourselves, not how well we match some Platonic ideal of our sexual orientation, and words like ‘asexual’ are just tools to help us understand ourselves.” All those crazy labels — bi, gay, lesbian, straight, pansexual, asexual, etc. — are there to help us communicate who we are and what we want. Once upon a time, NNFS, you wanted heterosexual sex, you had heterosexual sex, and you identified as heterosexual. That label was correct for you then. If the asexual label is a better fit for you now, if it more accurately communicates who you are (now) and what you want (now), you have none other than David Jay’s permission to use it. “I also feel NNFS’s pain about Craigslist ‘strictly platonic’ ads,” said Jay. “But I’ve found there are plenty of people out there who are interested in hanging out if I simultaneously say ‘no’ to sex and ‘yes’ to an emotional connection. I wish NNFS the best of luck in finding some.” Follow AVEN on Twitter at @asexuality. Jay recommends The Invisible Orientation by Julie Decker to people who want to learn more about asexuality. And Asexual Outreach is currently raising funds via Indiegogo to help finance the first North American Asexuality Conference in Toronto this June and other outreach programs: indiegogo.com/projects/asexual-outreach. There’s this guy I stopped dating a few months ago, but we’ve remained friends. When we were still dating, he once wore a thong when we were having sex. He called it his “sexy underwear.” He said he wore it only if he really liked a woman. He also told me he tried using a vibrator and fingers in his ass and really enjoyed it. I wasn’t bothered, but I am curious to know if straight guys really wear thongs and enjoy having their asses played with. Could he be a gay? What’s He Attracted To? That guy could be a gay, WHAT, but any guy could be a gay. There are, however, lots of straight guys out there

who dig sexy underwear — and some mistakenly believe thongs qualify. There are also lots of straight guys out there who like having their asses played with — and some are secure enough in their heterosexuality to share that fact with the women in their lives. And I hope you’re sitting down because this may come as a shock: Not all gay guys wear thongs and not all gay guys like having their asses played with. The boyfriends of these guys — gay guys with thong-averse/ass-play-averse boyfriends — never write to ask me if their boyfriend could be a straight. Instead, they take the gay sex they’re having with their gay boyfriends for an answer. I understand why a straight woman might have more cause for concern: Very few gay-identified guys are secretly straight, while a significant percentage of straight-identified guys are secretly gay or bi. (Google “antigay pastor Matthew Makela caught on Grindr” for a recent example.) But at some point, WHAT, a straight woman should relax and take all the straight sex she’s having with her thong-wearing, ass-play-digging boyfriend for an answer. Just because a woman closes her eyes during sex doesn’t mean she’s fantasizing about something. I love to look my husband in the eyes, but sometimes when I’m trying to get off, I just need to close my eyes and concentrate on what I’m feeling. Visual input is too distracting and makes it hard to focus. I get off pretty much every time we make love, but some times require more concentration than others. Concentrating On My Euphoria COME is referring to my advice a couple of weeks back for Come As You Are, a man whose wife had to lean back, close her eyes, and rub her clit in order to come. I advised CAYA to ask his wife what she was thinking about when she did that — what scenario she was fantasizing about — and not to panic if she wasn’t thinking about him. Lots of women wrote in to say that they do — they must do — the same thing CAYA’s wife does in order to come: close their eyes and concentrate. A majority, like COME, said they’re not fantasizing about anything in particular; they’re just concentrating on the sensations. But a large minority said that they have specific and sometimes wild/unrealizable/disturbing fantasies that they have to concentrate on in order to climax. Just as every fantasy doesn’t have to be realized, not every fantasy has to be shared. But women (and men) who are lucky enough to have a loving, supportive, secure, and game partner should consider bringing their partner in. Allowing a partner to play an active role in your wild/unrealizable fantasies — through dirty talk — will make your partner feel like a part of your fantasy world (and your orgasms) and not an exile from it. On the Lovecast, Dan speaks with the author of a study on outing cheaters: savagelovecast.com.

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1 Long stories 6 Bridge support beams 11 “I’m not feelin’ it” 14 Communications officer on 49-Across 15 Not at all 16 Tatyana of “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” 17 Manhattan area where punk rock took off 19 Drug dropped in the ‘60s 20 “Girls” creator/star Dunham 21 Rap’s ___ Boys 23 Come together 27 Pirates’ stashes 28 Seek water with a divining rod 29 Birthplace of Robert Burns 31 “___ Ho” (“Slumdog Millionaire” showstopper) 32 Turns brown, maybe 33 Obstruction in the night 37 Pinky, for one 38 More reptilian, in a way 39 Common Market inits. 40 Besting 42 Prefix on the farm 43 By way of 44 Tooth doc’s deg. 45 Broadcast studio alert 46 “Northern Exposure”

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ETC

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19):

Keith Moon played drums for the rock band the Who. He was once voted the secondgreatest drummer in history. But his erratic behavior, often provoked by drugs or alcohol, sometimes interfered with his abilities. In 1973, the Who was doing a live concert near San Francisco when the horse tranquilizer that Moon had taken earlier caused him to pass out. The band appealed to the audience for help. “Can anybody play the drums? ” asked guitarist Pete Townshend. “I mean somebody good? ” A 19-year-old amateur drummer named Scot Halpin volunteered. He played well enough to finish the show. I suspect that sometime soon, Aries, you may also get an unexpected opportunity to play the role of a substitute. Be ready!

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20):

The weta is a very large insect whose habitat is New Zealand. It looks like a robotic grasshopper, with giant black eyes on a long red face, enlarged hind legs bearing spikes, and floppy, oversized antennae. The native Maori people call it “the god of the ugly things.” Please note that this is a term of respect. The weta’s title is not “the most monstrous of the ugly things,” or “the worst” or “the scariest” or “the most worthless of the ugly things.” Rather, the Maori say it’s the god — the highest, the best, the most glorious. I suspect that in the coming days, Taurus, you will have a close encounter with your own version of a “god of ugly things.” Doesn’t it deserve your love and welcome?

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20):

You have successfully made the transition from brooding caterpillar to social butterfly. Soon you will be in your full, fluttery glory, never lingering too long with one thought, one friend, or one identity. Some heavy-duty, level-headed stalwarts might wish you would be more earthy and anchored, but I don’t share their concern. At least for now, having a long attention span is overrated. You have entered the fidgety, inquisitive part of your cycle, when flitting and flirting and flickering make perfect sense.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22):

Only one fear is worthy of you. Only one fear is real enough and important enough to awaken and activate the numb part of your intelligence. So for now, I suggest that you retire all lesser fears. Stuff them in a garbage bag and hide them in a closet. Then put on your brave champion face, gather the allies and resources you need, and go forth into glorious battle. Wrestle with your one fear. Reason with it. If necessary, use guile and trickery to gain an advantage. Call on divine inspiration and be a wickedly good truth-teller. And this is crucial: Use your fear to awaken and activate the numb part of your intelligence.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22):

In the coming nights, try to see your shadow as it’s cast on the ground by the moon. Not by the sun, mind you. Look for the shadow that’s made by the light of the moon. It might sound farfetched, but I suspect this experience will have a potent impact on your subconscious mind. It may jostle loose secrets that you have been hiding from yourself. I bet it will give you access to emotions and intuitions you have been repressing. It could also help you realize that some of the deep, dark stuff you wrestle with is not bad and scary, but rather fertile and fascinating.

dedicated to Laura, the woman he loved. For 40 years he churned out testaments of longing and appreciation for her, despite the fact that he and she never spent time together. She was married to another man, and was wrapped up in raising her eleven children. Should we judge Petrarch harshly for choosing a muse who was so unavailable? I don’t. Muse-choosing is a mysterious and sacred process that transcends logic. I’m bringing the subject to your attention because you’re entering a new phase in your relationship with muses. It’s either time to choose a new one (or two?) or else adjust your bonds with your current muses.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22):

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19):

gyrate, curvy, labyrinthine, and corkscrew.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18):

It’s no coincidence that your libido and your mojo are booming at the same time. Your libido is in the midst of a deep, hearty awakening, which is generating a surplus of potent, super-fine mojo. And your surplus of potent, super-fine mojo is in turn inciting your libido’s even deeper, heartier awakening. There may be times in the coming week when you feel like you are living with a wild animal. As long as you keep the creature well-fed and well-stroked, it should provide you with lots of vigorous, even boisterous fun.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20):

The ancient Greek statesman Demosthenes was regarded as a supremely skilled orator. His speeches were so powerful that he was compared to a “blazing thunderbolt.” And yet as a youngster he spoke awkwardly. His voice was weak and his enunciation weird. To transform himself, he took drastic measures. He put pebbles in his mouth to force himself to formulate his words with great care. He recited poems as he ran up and down hills. At the beach, he learned to outshout the pounding surf. Take inspiration from him, Virgo. Now would be an excellent time for you to plan and launch strenuous efforts that will enable you to eventually accomplish one of your long-range goals.

“The soul moves in circles,” said the ancient Greek philosopher Plotinus. Modern psychologist James Hillmans agreed, and added this thought: “Hence our lives are not moving straight ahead; instead, hovering, wavering, returning, renewing, repeating.” I bring this to your attention, Capricorn, because you’re now in an extra-intense phase of winding and rambling. This is a good thing! You are spiraling back to get another look at interesting teachings you didn’t master the first time around. You are building on past efforts that weren’t strong enough. Your words of power are crooked,

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22):

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

Long-distance flirtations may soon be just around the corner or across the street. Remote possibilities are taking short cuts as they head your way. I swear the far horizon and the lucky stars seem closer than usual. Is it all a mirage? Some of it may be, but at least a part of it is very real. If you want to be ready to seize the surprising opportunities that show up in your vicinity, I suggest you make yourself as innocent and expansive as possible. Drop any jaded attitudes you may be harboring. Let the future know that you are prepared to receive a flood of beauty, truth, and help.

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early,” quipped 19th-century English author Charles Lamb. I invite you to adopt that breezy, lazy attitude in the coming weeks. It’s high time for you to slip into a very comfortable, laidback mood . . . to give yourself a lot of slack, explore the mysteries of dreamy indolence, and quiet down the chirpy voices in your head. Even if you can’t literally call in sick to your job and spend a few days wandering free, do everything you can to claim as much lowpressure, unhurried spaciousness as possible.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21):

I suspect that marriages of convenience will begin to wither away unless they evolve into bonds of affection. Connections that have been fed primarily on fun and games must acquire more ballast. In fact, I recommend that you re-evaluate all your contracts and agreements. How are they working for you? Do they still serve the purpose you want them to? Is it time to acknowledge that they have transformed and need to be reconfigured? As you take inventory, be both tough-minded and compassionate.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21):

Petrarch was an influential 14th-century Italian poet whose main work was Song Book. It’s a collection of 366 poems, most of which are

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