San antonio current march 16, 2016

MARCH 16-MARCH 22, 2016

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sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 3

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CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 3/3/16 9:10 AM7

IN THIS

FIRST WORDS

1

On “Have You Seen One of These Fake Signs About Mexican Restaurants Banning Donald Trump Supporters?” // Michael Stevens: I would implore anyone who’s parents, grandparents, great grandparents or even themselves regardless of national origin, who are immigrants, to rebuke the xenophobia driven candidacies of anyone seeking elected office.

This is a nation of immigrants; not for the few but for the good of the many. [sic] Mike A Báez: I still don’t understand why being a legal American citizen is so hard to do? People must really love living in a welfare state, where everything is free. It’s not.

On “Is it OK for a Group of Five White Men to Name Their Band Black Pussy? // Maxwell Silver: Dear Current, Please stop race bating. It’s a fucking name.

In fact, I think I’ll change my white ass name to Big Black Richard just so you have something to whine about. Your race bating is why I’ve never advertised with you. [sic] Andrea Guzman: They can name their band whatever they want. Im not buying their music though. [sic]

ISSUE Issue 16_11 /// March 16 – 22, 2016

12

NEWS

Newsmonger No confidence // Poll tax // Gone fishing

33

SCREENS

No ‘Polite’ in ‘Politics’ Political drama and Obamawatched show House of Cards returns for season four

18

61

MUSIC

Heated Up and Hung Over Paper Tiger hosts Heatwave and Burger Hangover Fest for first birthday Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

8

CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

CALENDAR

Our top picks for the week

26

ARTS + CULTURE

Garden Tales A new exhibit at the San Antonio Botanical Garden brings fairy tales to life Go Native Xeriscaping isn’t as bleak as the word denotes

45

FOOD

57

NIGHTLIFE

Literal Farmville Underutilized land is aching to become an urban garden

Keeping Tabs Get to know the sauvignon blanc

Prime Seating 7 patios we’re loving around town right now

Patio Pounder Drink this apéritif on your patio

Francophile’s Dream Tony Parker’s personal chef launches Crème de la Crème Flavor File Make those Easter reservations now

The Man Who Led Zeppelin Robert Plant redefines success with his Sensational Space Shifters

23

18

Every Breath You Take SA’s declining air quality puts the whole city at risk

Crime and Punishment Marvel’s Daredevil returns for its second season on Netflix and introduces the Punisher

• Send your thoughts, comments or kudos to letters@sacurrent.com

63

68

ON THE ETC.

Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology This Modern World

COVER From Storybook Houses to primo patios and urban farming, we tackle the year’s greenest season with our first-ever Spring Issue.

Photograph by Justin Moore Art direction by Rick Fisher, Sarah Flood-Baumann

sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 9

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sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 11

NEWS

JEREMY WILSON

in a statement that he looks forward to presenting the case.

“Today’s decision is a strong step forward in our efforts to defend the state’s Voter ID laws,” Paxton said.

“Safeguarding the integrity of our elections is a primary function of state government and is essential to preserving our democratic process.”

Numerous groups disagree, alleging the law actually discriminates against Hispanics and African-Americans. Last August, a three-judge panel ruled that the law does have a discriminatory effect but is not a poll tax. The panel kicked the case to a lower court that previously ruled it was a poll tax to work out the problems. Paxton, however, asked the full court to hear the case, and though a date hasn’t been set for the hearing, he’s going to get his wish.

NEWSMONGER No Confidence // Poll Tax // Gone Fishing No Confidence The San Antonio Police Officers Association (SAPOA), which is involved in a prolonged collective bargaining fight with the City of San Antonio, is opposed to reforming police practices.

The news broke last week when SAPOA President Mike Helle announced that the union will hold a “no confidence” vote targeting San Antonio Police Department Chief William McManus, who is reforming some use-of-force policies as recommended by the Police Executive Research Forum (PERF).

“A ‘no confidence’ vote is a clear message the Chief of Police has lost the trust of those he was chosen to lead,” Helle says in a press release. “This vote was demanded by the membership and the SAPOA leadership agreed it was necessary to send a clear message to the City Council that we no longer have faith in the Chief of Police to implement policies that take care of police officers 12

CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

MARK REAGAN/@210REAGAN

and their families.”

The move comes after McManus issued an indefinite suspension for SAPD officer John Lee, who shot and killed Antroine Scott, an unarmed black man, on February 4 while serving warrants against the man.

The chief reversed course on his decision Monday, rescinding the punishment.

During both his tenures (the chief left the post 2014, but unexpectedly returned in 2015), McManus worked to increase police transparency through an open data initiative, reformed the department’s once dangerous pursuit policy, worked toward equipping the entire force with body cameras and, most recently, explored implementation of PERF reforms in an attempt to make the SAPD a model police force.

The “no confidence” vote will be concluded by Friday, according to SAPOA. Poll Tax A controversial Texas voter identification law that requires the civicminded to present photo identification at their polling places is heading to a federal appeals court.

Attorney General Ken Paxton said

Gone Fishing Climate-denier extraordinaire Lamar Smith, an esteemed representative from Texas and chairman of the House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology, continues his crusade against the abominable scientists looking to undermine the American dream.

Since early 2015, Smith has tried to trump science and bolster his tea party credentials by slashing funding to NASA and subpoenaing National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration administrator Kathryn Sullivan in an attempt to seek information about how scientists use global temperature data to measure climate change while accusing the academics of fudging data.

Well, Smith is at it again.

In late February, he sent a letter to NOAA broadening his request for documents. He wants NOAA to send him any documents that contain 17 search terms, including “buoy,” “ship,” “Obama,” “regulations” and more.

All this despite a letter by Andrew A. Rosenberg, director of the Center for Science and Democracy, who wrote a letter to Smith, representing 450,000 people in the Union of Concerned Scientists — members and supporters — asking Smith to stop.

“To protect the independence of its scientists, we believe that NOAA is justified in resisting this new demand,” Rosenberg wrote. “Further, it is our hope that you will decide to stop this burdensome and unwarranted fishing expedition by rescinding your latest inquiry, as well as withdrawing your original subpoena.”

BEXAR-O-METER Checking the temperature of events in Bexar County and beyond

Presidential Visit Barack Obama pops in at SXSW Whimsy in the Garden “Storybook Houses” exhibit on display at the San Antonio Botanical Garden Paper Tiger Venue celebrates one-year anniversary Peter Holt Spurs CEO retires Taco War Enough, already Downtown Loo City Council OK’d a $100,000 toilet Texas AG Office hires anti-LGBT attorney

sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 13

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CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 15

NEWS

WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE SA’s declining air quality puts the whole city at risk MICHAEL MARKS/@MICHAELPMARKS

Leaving San Antonio was the only remedy that helped Krystal Henagan’s son, Tanner.

Her family moved to San Antonio in 2012, when Tanner was 4 years old. He developed severe asthma, which soon became “uncontrollable.” Doctors thought the child had cedar or oak allergies, and put him on seven different medications.

But fleeing the polluted Alamo City air was the only reliable treatment.

“There were some nights and afternoons that it would get so bad that we would leave the area just to get some relief,” said Henagan, who is now a field organizer with the advocacy group Moms Clean Air Force. “We shuttled him between Lubbock and Houston for about six months so his health could get back on track, and it did.”

As the temperature rises and San Antonio’s brief winter gives way to spring and summer, many take going outside for granted. But not everyone gets to enjoy the outdoors. The changing seasons signal an approach of the high point for air pollution, pushing children, the elderly and those who suffer from asthma and other illnesses indoors.

San Antonio’s air is cleaner than it was a decade ago, but pollution is on the rise. Now local officials are desperate to improve the air as soon as possible, both for the health of residents and the fiscal well-being of the region.

“We’re trying to create that sense of urgency. People interested in the fiscal health of our city and the public health of our community have every reason to be concerned,” said Councilman Ron Nirenberg, who chairs a committee on air quality at the Alamo Area Council of Governments. “The time for action is certainly now. But it has been now for the past 10 years.”

San Antonio is outside acceptable measures for air quality set by the Environmental Protection Agency. If that’s still true next year – which almost certainly will be the case – the city’s collective health will decline, and the federal government 16

CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

will impose strict, expensive regulations to return the city to compliance.

Trending Up The main pollutant that plagues San Antonio is ground-level ozone, a mix of emissions from cars, oil and gas production, power plants, organic material and other sources that react in sunlight to pollute the air. Breathing in ozone can exacerbate asthma and other respiratory illnesses, and cause cardiovascular problems.

It’s unclear whether rates of asthma have increased over the past few years, since no local study has looked at the issue, according to Brenda Williams, the natural resources director for AACOG. Ozone levels have dropped steadily since the 1980s, but that trend is reversing in San Antonio. The city’s ground-level ozone levels have increased every year since 2010. Although part of that is attributable to population growth, ozone levels in Austin, which has experienced similar growth, have dropped over the same period.

“What Could Have Been?”

As part of the Clean Air Act, the EPA sets standards for air quality. On October 1, 2015, the EPA set new, tighter rules for ground-level ozone, narrowing the acceptable level from 75 parts per billion to 70 parts per billion.

Some argued that the new standards didn’t go far enough. But cities such as San Antonio will still find it difficult to comply with the new regulations. The city’s official ozone level for 2015 was

78 parts per billion. In order to meet the standard, that will have to drop to 60 parts per billion in 2016. Williams said that’s extremely unlikely.

“It’s pretty clear that we could not meet the 70 parts per billion,” said Williams.

Which means there will be repercussions. For example, it’s more difficult for cities that fail to meet the standard to secure federal funds for transit projects. And any new business that’s a source of air pollution must pay a fee to offset its emissions.

In more extreme cases, automobile inspections must also include emission standards, and cities must pay millions of dollars in penalty fees to the EPA. The conditions remain in place until 2020 on less-severe cases and 2025 for more extreme ones. AACOG is currently carrying out a study on the financial ramifications of failing to meet the EPA’s standard.

“Ultimately, our goal is to have a healthy community, a clean-air community,” Williams said. “We certainly want to see a dynamic economy. But I think we can try to promote both as much as possible.”

Public entities have lately tried to combat the degradation of air quality.

CPS Energy has plans to decommission its coal-fired power plants, and it has increased its wind and solar energy portfolio. The City of San Antonio approved an ordinance in November requiring all business “with sources of air pollution” to register with the San Antonio Metropolitan Health District and pay an annual $200 fee. The idea is to paint a more accurate picture of where pollution

comes from to better mitigate emissions.

And both the city and AACOG are upping their efforts to get more folks walking, biking and using public transit.

Even if all those efforts are effective though, San Antonio still faces an uphill climb. Some projections show the city’s population growing by a million people over the next 25 years, which would mean significantly more vehicles on the road and more emissions related to heavy industry and power generation.

Other factors are outside the reach of local government. There are now 14 applications with the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality to build pollutionemitting facilities in Bexar County, including three concrete and cement plants and an aluminum smelter – some of the most prolific emission sources.

The challenges are significant. But officials such as Nirenberg and Williams say that for the sake of San Antonians’ health, they can’t just give in. Federal penalties or not, they feel compelled to chip away at the problem for children like Tanner – and for those who may develop similar problems down the road.

“We almost certainly will be out of attainment within the next few years.

Does that mean we throw our hands up and say, ‘What could have been?’ No, because we still have the public health to be concerned about,” Nirenberg said.

“And as much as we can do to get back into attainment more quickly, both in terms of the regulatory and health costs ... the better.” mmarks@sacurrent.com

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sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 17

CALENDAR

WED

‘Cloth and Sound’

16 “Cloth and Sound” is just one ART

of many swell CAM events presented

by The Olaju Art Group, an organization that aims to bring African issues to a broader audience through the visual arts. If citizens of the world are engaged with the rich diversity of African cultures, the complexity of Africa will become easier to appreciate.

At this particular CAM event, celebrated Nigerian textile artist and musician Tunde Odunlade will present music and fabric art made through the process of “batik, a traditional technique of wax dyeing applied to various cloths as a medium.” Free, 7pm, Brick, 108 Blue Star, (210) 262-8653, fromwestafrica.org.

— James Courtney

THU-SAT

17-19

Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man THEATER

Based on the humorous but informative book by Dan Anderson and Maggie Berman, this interactive three-character comedy takes place in a university auditorium where the English department is holding a “meet the authors” event.

The prudish moderator attempts to hold a scholarly discussion but her efforts are derailed by a visiting author’s over-thetop seminar featuring a hunky, shirtless Eastern European stage assistant. The most important tip to be learned from this date-night favorite? Open up and listen. $39.50, 7:30pm Thu, 7pm & 10pm Fri, 4pm & 8pm Sat, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org.

— Marco Aquino

FRI

Sunjammer

CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

‘Maybe It Was All a Dream’

18 A California native now working as

great SA bands — including Wildblood (now defunct) and Flower Jesus Quintet — neo-psych jam band Sunjammer is a relative newcomer on the scene. Our prediction, however, is that their smooth, grassy, hippie grooves will catch on and they’ll be playing their funky blend of American music for a long while. On this bill, Sunjammer joins Sugar Candy Mountain, a delicately dusty psych-pop act from Oakland, California, and The Halfways, a young Austin quartet that plays a hi-fi, indie rock-influenced take on lo-fi psychedelia. All of this at K23, the sonic paisley and patchouli mecca of SATX music. $6, 9pm, K23 Gallery, 704 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 776-5635, facebook.com/k23gallery. — JC

the exhibitions and programs manager at Blue Star Contemporary, Jack McGilvray takes a documentary approach to her art, which encompasses photography, video and creative non-fiction. With memory and family as underlying themes, McGilvray creates images that pose questions and function as clues in an ambiguous investigation. Stepping into the dreamworld, McGilvray’s Contemporary Art Month offering takes shape in a “non-linear photographic narrative” that curiously asks viewers: “Have you ever felt lost in the haze of another world and looked back at the world you left behind?”

Free, 7pm, Haus Collective, 108 Blue Star, hauscollectivesa.com.

— Bryan Rindfuss

NOW SEP. 9 18

FRI

18 Boasting members of several MUSIC

ART

CALENDAR

KRISTY PEREZ

FRI-SUN

Reasons to Be Pretty

SUN

Tootsie

SUN

CAM Open Studios

TUE

Spanish Harlem Orchestra

18-20 You can call a woman many

20 The McNay’s “Dressed to Kill”

20 One of the best parts of CAM is

22 With a sound harkening back

things, but just don’t call her regular.

In this final installment of Neil Labute’s trilogy of plays exploring obsession with physical appearance, the deadend lives of four working-class friends unravel around a lover’s passing remark about his girlfriend’s face. In typical Labute fashion, language lies at the crux of this coming-of-age play. Expect plenty of F-bombs and variations on other four-letter insults in this piece that celebrates “the uncommonness in common speech.” David Rinear directs The Playhouse’s production. $12-$30, 8pm Fri-Sat, 3pm Sun, The Playhouse, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258, theplayhousesa.org.

— Murphi Cook

film series seems devoted to crossdressing, which explains why it includes this romantic dramedy that earned Dustin Hoffman an Oscar nod while donning dowdy drag. Hailing from 1982, Tootsie follows Hoffman as an actor whose annoying personality keeps him out of work until he masquerades as a woman to land a job in a soap opera and finds himself navigating the double standards of gender roles. Sydney Pollack directed and appears in the film alongside Jessica Lange (winning an Oscar), Bill Murray, Geena Davis, Teri Garr and Charles Durning. $15-$20, 2pm, McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368, mcnayart.org.

— Michael Barrett

that practically every gallery and studio has fresh work on display. This, along with a general, unspoken understanding that this is the time of year to put one’s best foot forward, makes random gallery hopping one of CAM’s true joys. Your best strategy: Set Sunday aside for visits to local galleries and studios otherwise not open to the public.

In addition to providing an excellent opportunity to catch up on CAM, the annual tradition wraps up with an after party at Zollie Glass Studio complete with glass-blowing demos, food trucks, beer and wine (4-8pm, 1428 S. Presa St.). Free, noon-4pm, visit contemporaryartmonth.com for details.

— JC

to the classic Latin big-band style of Tito Puente and Perez Prado, the 13-piece Spanish Harlem Orchestra has proven a perfect fit for salsa-loving San Anto. Formed by keyboardist Oscar Hernandez, the New York-based band has racked up some serious touring miles over the course of six albums.

Anchored by Hernandez’s percussive piano work and backed by an ace horn line, SHO’s key feature is its frontline of singers, who keep things swinging in the tradition of legendary salseros Celia Cruz and Rubén Blades. Bring dancing shoes and get ready to move. $29-$110, 7:30pm, Aztec Theater, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, artssa.org.

— J.D. Swerzenski

THEATER

FILM

ART

MUSIC

sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 19

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CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

CONTEMPORARY ART MONTH more than just a calendar

#cam2016

OFFICIAL EVENTS: March 20 @ 12pm – 4pm OFFICAL CONTEMPORARY ART MONTH OPEN STUDIOS TOUR Visit contemporaryartmonth.com for an up-to-date list of participating studios.

March 25 6pm – 10pm CAMMIE AWARDS & CLOSING PARTY This is the final CAM event, thanking all those that participated in Contemporary Art Month and recognizing the best art events with our CAMMIE Awards.

Suggested Donation $10 dollars.

CHRISpark, 3 Camp St. TO VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE CAM EVENTS VISIT: CONTEMPORARYARTMONTH.COM

Thank you, CAM Sponsors!

®

The Smothers Foundation sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 21

WE CAN HELP YOU

THE ROAD TO

FREEDOM 22

CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

FIND IT! _

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CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

THU

17

International Artist-In-Residence Exhibition

FRI

Art

Art opening: “A Mutagenic Mustering 1970-1979” Dedicated to late artists

Jim Harter and John Rogers and named after the short-lived quarterly anthology Mutagenic Muster, Tex Pop’s Contemporary Art Month offering brings together drawings, prints, photographs, music posters, magazines, underground newspapers, programs and other representations of 1970s-era San Antonio. $5 suggested donation, 4-8pm Saturday; South Texas Popular Culture Center, 1017 E. Mulberry Ave., (210) 792-1312.

Art opening: “Glory in the Garden”

Cathedral House Gallery unveils a gardenthemed group show of paintings, stitcheries, photographs, jewelry, cards and calligraphy created by more than a dozen local artists.

Free, 3-5pm Sunday; Cathedral House Gallery, 111 Torcido Drive, (210) 824-5387.

Art opening: “Love After Love” Curated

by Raul Gonzalez in conjunction with a Contemporary Art Month exchange between Freight and Clamp Light, this final chapter in the “Three the Hard Way” series of pop-ups sees local artist Alyssa Danna transforming the Beacon Hill gallery with assemblage sculptures “that relish in the tasteless decorative revival of things loved and left.” Free, 7-10pm Saturday; Clamp Light Studios & Gallery, 1704 Blanco Road, (713) 594-2735.

Art opening: “Sister Solidarity” Local

artists unite to “challenge the notion that womyn cannot build together” via acrylic paintings, mixed-media projects, photography and poetry. Saturday’s reception includes a panel discussion

WU TSANG

Selected by independent Spanish curator Juan de Nieves, Daniel García Andújar (Barcelona), Adriana Corral (San Antonio) and Wu Tsang (Los Angeles) took up residency at Artpace in January as part of its revered International Artist-In-Residence program. A recent recipient of an Emerging Artist Grant from the Joan Mitchell Foundation, El Paso native Corral has referenced disappearances and femicides in Juárez, Mexico, through installations incorporating rubbings of classified documents, ceramic body bag tags and earth collected along the U.S.-Mexico border. Often exploring a conceptual middle ground between real and virtual worlds, Andújar is known for interventions in urban spaces and his project Technologies To The People, an initiative that presents access to technology as a human right. Often collaborating with partner Tosh (aka boychild), Tsang has addressed queer and trans experience in the award-winning feature film WILDNESS, the 2012 Whitney Biennial installation “GREEN ROOM” and the ongoing project Moved by the Motion — which recently took shape in a performance inspired by Chinese revolutionary poet Qiu Jin and her relationship with calligrapher Wu Zhiying. Free, 6-9pm (panel talk at 7pm), Artpace, 445 N. Main Ave., (210) 212-4900, artpace.org. — Bryan Rindfuss about “intergenerational collaboration and sister solidarity” (5pm) and music by Chulita Vinyl Club (6-8pm) and Heather Go Psycho (8:30pm). Free, 5-9pm Saturday; Movement Gallery, 1412 E. Commerce St., (210) 299-2666.

Art opening: “The Color of Blind” Trina

Bacon curates sculptures, paintings and mixed-media works by more than 40 artists for this CAM exhibit that encourages attendees to experience art through touch, smell and sound. Free, 6-9:30pm Saturday; Brick, 108 Blue Star, (210) 707-7474.

Art opening: “The Korean Diary of Jose Balli: Experiencias Fronterizas”

Agora hosts a reception for Reynosa-based Mexican-American artist Jose Gerardo Balli, whose artistic process involves sketching characters, objects and landscapes in discarded books and then creating paintings and other large-format works based on the sketches. His latest body of work juxtaposes his vision of the U.S.-Mexico border with the typography of the Korean Diary — a book of essays on East Asian economic relations.

Free, 7-10pm Saturday; Agora, 1907 S. St. Mary’s St., (210) 363-8562.

Live Art & Music Event Dorćol hosts a CAM

event with craft cocktails, live works from artists Aphro Oner, Duoone, David Fink and Sarah Brooke Lyons, an exhibit by Christopher Rabb, live music by Vandali Transit Authority and food for purchase from Ay Papi’s Puerto Rican food truck.

Free, 7pm-1am Saturday; Dorćol Distilling Company, 1902 S. Flores St., (210) 229-0607.

“Weeding Eden” Emceed by local painter

and performer Bryson Brooks, this Contemporary Art Month film shoot invites

18

The Comedy Get Down

Considered by many fans as some of the best stand-up comedians working today, Cedric the Entertainer, Eddie Griffin, D.L. Hughley, George Lopez and Charlie Murphy will share the stage Friday for this world tour performance that’s sure to get rowdier (and be way less racist) than a Donald Trump rally. Three of the five (Cedric, Griffin and Hughley) were named to Comedy Central’s Top 100 Comedians of All Time list and a majority of them have something to plug for 2016. Hughley will be tending to patients in the new medical drama Heartbeat, which debuts next week on NBC; Lopez is playing a fictional version of himself again in a new TV Land comedy series, aptly named Lopez, at the end of the month; Cedric is in yet another Barbershop movie in April; Murphy has a role in Mike Epps’ new flick Meet the Blacks, which also hits theaters next month; and Bill Cosby defender and conspiracy theorist Griffin will be busy giving more batshit crazy interviews and probably pitching a Malcolm & Eddie reunion to Netflix (hey, if those damn Full House kids can do it, why can’t he?). $49.75-$65.75, 8pm, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center Pkwy., (210) 444-5000, attcenter.com. – Kiko Martínez attendees to dress in “dangerously classy” 1930s or ‘40s attire for a neo noir party scene enhanced with live music by Bright Like the Sun. Free, 6pm-midnight Friday; Brick, 108 Blue Star, (210) 262-8653.

Theater

Creatures of the Night Emily Fitzgerald has had her head in a who-done-it for the past year. The result? Creatures of the Night, a noir-style mystery about a private eye faced with very real monsters. Inspired by the J.D. Robb (aka Nora Roberts) protagonist Eve Dallas, Fitzgerald’s detectives Valentine and Dandy navigate through a revolving cast of characters in an ever-darkening coffee-shop haunt.

The Overtime unveils the mysterious play with an ensemble cast led by Sarah Nixon Hemmi. $10-$15, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday; The Overtime Theater, 1203 Camden St., (210) 557-7562.

Shen Yun Established in 2006 with a

mission of “reviving 5,000 years of divinely inspired Chinese culture,” New York-based Shen Yun Performing Arts is a touring troupe comprising elaborately costumed classical Chinese dancers, talented vocalists and an orchestra that fuses East and West. Presented as collections of vignettes, Shen Yun’s performances play out in front of digitized scenery projected onto a high-tech backdrop.

Shen Yun’s espousal of Falun Dafa (aka Falun Gong, a spiritual discipline banned by the Communist Chinese government in 1999) is in no way hidden in these dazzling spectacles, which has sparked a fair amount of controversy. $60-$140, 2pm Friday, 2pm & 7pm Saturday, 2pm Sunday;

Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624.

The Jungle Book: a New Telling of an Old Favorite The Magik brings man-cub

Mowgli, Bagheera the panther, Baloo the bear, Kaa the python, the mischievous Bandar Log monkey tribe and Shere Khan the treacherous tiger to life onstage in David Morgan’s theatrical adaptation of Rudyard Kipling’s classic story collection. $17.50$27.50, 2pm & 6:30pm Thursday-Saturday, 2pm Sunday; Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, 226 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 226-3333.

Words

Gemini Ink at Viva Tacoland Featured

readers Debra Monroe, Ben Olguín and Frances Santos present spoken word performances, to be followed by an open mic. Free, 6:30pm Friday; Viva Tacoland, 103 W. Grayson St., (210) 734-9673.

San Antonio’s Historic Architecture Author

T. Irwin Sessions leads a visual presentation based on his new book detailing the work of Atlee Ayers, Alfred Giles, Otto Kramer and other architects who helped shape the look of San Antonio. A book signing and wine and cheese reception follows the presentation.

Free, 5:30-7pm Tuesday; Villa Finale, 401 King William St., (210) 223-9800.

Special Events

Art Kite Festival Pack a picnic and a

handcrafted kite for this seventh annual event with a creative kite contest, live music and concessions available for purchase from area food trucks. Free, noon-6pm Saturday; Pittman Sullivan Community Garden, 1100 Dakota St., (773) 983-1965.

sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 23

TREEmendous Family Fun International Tree Climbing Championship (ITCC) Arbor Fair and Arbor Expo

April 2–3, 2016 Brackenridge Park, San Antonio Saturday, April 2, 2016 Sunday, April 3, 2016

8 am – 5 pm 9 am – 3 pm

Event attendees receive a bracelet for $3 off zoo admission

FREE to the Public

• Learn about Benefits of Trees • Artisans & Crafts • Live Demonstrations • Animal Exhibits from the San Antonio Zoo

• Limbwalk • Fun Tree Climb • Face Painting • Bucket Truck Rides • Musical Entertainment • Food Trucks

For a detailed event schedule visit: www.itcc-isa.com/itcc 24

CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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23 CALENDAR

Fest of Tails Presented by H-E-B and

the San Antonio Parks Foundation in celebration of the arrival of spring, this 10th annual event invites guests of all ages to “bring along your choice of tail — kite, dog or both” for a day filled with live music, youth talent performances, a pooch parade and canine costume contest, a kite-building workshop and hot air balloon rides ($5-$10 from 9-11:30am). Free, 9am-4pm Saturday; McAllister Park, 13102 Jones Maltsberger Road, (210) 207-7275.

Harp & Shamrock Irish Festival The

Harp & Shamrock Society celebrates Irish traditions in South Texas with a full day of activities, including an Irish parade, a Gaelic football tournament, hurling competitions, live music by San Antonio Pipes & Drums (1pm), Sean Orr (3pm) and Black Irish Texas (6pm), a performance by the Inishfree Dancers (5pm), arts and crafts vendors, food trucks and Guinness beer. $5, noon-8pm Saturday, University of the Incarnate Word, 4301 Broadway, (210) 896-1598.

The Great San Antonio Garage Sale Benefiting the San Antonio Housing Authority’s Education Investment Foundation Scholarship Program, this one-day sale promises an array of clothing, furniture, collectibles and upcycled goodies, plus live music by Rachel Laven, face-painting, raffle prizes, food trucks and sidewalk chalk.

Free, 9am-2pm Saturday, San Antonio Housing Authority, 818 S. Flores St., (210) 477-6031.

Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest Qualifier Major League Eating sets up shop at Sunset Station during H-E-B Big League Weekend pre-season.

The top male and female finishers score a seat at the Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island, where they’ll face reigning champions Matt Stonie and Miki Sudo. Free, 1-2pm Saturday;

Sunset Station, 1174 E. Commerce St., (212) 352-8651.

Spring Fest The 78209 Farmers Market

celebrates the season by adding arts and crafts vendors to a weekly mix that includes Farm to Juice, Organic Chix, ​ Powerhouse Bakery, The Nut Doctor and ​ Youngblood Honey. Free, 10am-2pm Sunday; 1800 Nacogdoches Road.

Words & Arts Festival Mission Marquee

Plaza hosts a family-friendly day combining a farmers and artisans market with an array of literary and artistic programs, from spoken word performances to workshops and interactive art activities. Free, 11am-3pm Saturday; Mission Marquee Plaza, 3100 Roosevelt Ave., (210) 207-2614.

Talks Plus

Art History 201 Having recently

reinstalled SAMA’s contemporary art galleries, curator Anna Stothart engages in conversation with Los Angeles-based artist Sarah Cain, whose work explores the history of painting, preconceptions of femininity and the legacy of abstraction. $5-$10, 6pm Friday; San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave., (210) 978-8100.

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Dance

San Antonio Folk Dance Festival Concert Wrapping up a weekend of

workshops, this 58th annual event brings together troupes from across Texas (including Houston’s Uzori Folk Dance, Austin’s Csárdás Hungarian Dancers and SA’s own Tusuy Kusun Peru) for an eclectic evening of music, song and dance. $5-$15, 7:30pm Saturday; Our Lady of the Lake University, Thiry Auditorium, 411 SW 24th St., (210) 431-3922.

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Gardening with Native Shrubs, South Central Texas Style! The local chapter of

the Native Plant Society of Texas welcomes New England transplant Linda Higby for a lively and informative presentation on regional gardening with native shrubs and perennials. Through beautiful photos and humorous tales of “guerilla gardening,” Higby sheds light on “bullet-proof” native plants that make ideal backyard candidates. Free, 7-8:30pm Tuesday; Lion’s Field Clubhouse, 2809 Broadway, (210) 207-7275.

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ARTS + CULTURE

GARDEN TALES MARK REAGAN @210REAGAN

“Storybook Houses” brings whimsical favorites to the San Antonio Botanical Garden Fairy tales and storytelling are as old as humans, probably dating back much longer than previously thought — some are possibly thousands of years old.

For instance, Jamshid Tehrani, of Durham University, and Sara Graca de Silva, of the New University of Lisbon, theorize that Jack and the Beanstalk might be 5,000 years old, The Science Times reports.

Regardless how ancient some stories may be, a handful of fairy tales and modern fiction — to the delight of children and adults everywhere — are coming to life at the San Antonio Botanical Garden via an ongoing partnership with the Alamo City chapter of the American Institute of Architects through an interactive exhibit called “Storybook Houses.”

Judges selected five submissions from design teams and artists that that were scored “on a variety of criteria such as creativity of design and use/re-use of water-resistant materials; focus on recycling, reuse or sustainability; accessibility; collaboration with others; and design appeal for all ages of visitors.”

Cynthia Klemmer, director of programs at the San Antonio Botanical Garden, said she made sure that the books on the list for contestants to choose from reflected

26

CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

nature in some way.

“Architecture is a place of science but also of art. So this is a wonderful embodiment of art and science coming together, and then literacy being woven throughout everything,” Klemmer explained.

From March 5 to July 10, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!, by Dr. Seuss; Jack and the Beanstalk, often attributed to 18th century publisher Benjamin Tabart; Diary of a Worm, by Doreen Cronin; The Little House, by Virginia Lee Burton; and Sleeping Beauty, which has been told by multiple authors, dating back as far as the 14th century, will come to life.

“The book will be right there [in the storybook houses] and you can read … and I think it just helps kids connect because everybody knows Jack and the Beanstalk. [But] you may not have read it outside with the wind blowing through your hair, under the clouds next to a giant 20foot beanstalk,” Klemmer remarked.

“It gives it new context, I think, and it’s really exciting, and it really brings nature and the environment into the book.”

And rest assured, the books are available in the bookshop so the kiddos can revisit that trip to the San Antonio Botanical Garden each time they pick it up.

.

ARTS + CULTURE

Diary of a Worm Written by Doreen

Cronin • Storybook house design by Christopher Drown and Lauran Drown, of Bucrane Design Build, and Alicia Mendez, of Estella Mendez Art Company • This story is one for the little ones. Diary of a Worm is exactly as it sounds, it’s an illustrated story of a day in the of one worm living in a gigantic worm world.

And the hands-on storybook house promises to be a kid favorite that’s as educational as it is fun.

“Everything they do has to do with digging.

The daddy worm actually works in a mine,” Lauran Drown said. “I started out looking for a book related to compost because one of the things I started to explore and work with is digging and [I wanted] to point out how important worms are to our ecosystem.”

This storybook house is built like the entrance to a mine shaft, complete with a mine cart, walls textured to look like precious minerals and the perspective of going down the mine.

But what’s really cool about it is the mine cart.

“The mine cart is full of worms that are making organic waste into compost,” Drown said, scooping up some soil in her hands, holding a bunch of baby worms snacking on a piece of potato.

And like the composted food and plant material, the mine cart will be recycled by being donated to EcoCentro, a community outreach center for environmental sustainability, at San Antonio College.

“We are providing a connection between worms digging and people digging underground,” Drown explained. “People dig for valuable things and worms create something that’s very valuable: compost.”

Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

Written by Dr. Seuss • Storybook house designed

by Belen Aguilar and James Olivares, PBK Architects • Perhaps one of Dr. Seuss’ most famous stories, Oh, The Places You’ll Go! is often gifted to young people graduating high

school or college and is woman’s great-great granddaughter sees about the challenges the house, and remembering stories of of life and the journey it, moves it back out into the country, each one of us takes. on a hill, surrounded by nature, not And it was always steel, coming full circle. one of Belen Aguilar’s “It’s the story of Bulverde, for sure,” favorite books.

Galloway quipped.

“Also, it happened This storybook house is to be on my coffee mug constructed of multicolored rebar at the office,” Aguilar in the shape of a circle. The rebar’s • hues reflect colors from the book, and said. “So I hear about the Oh, The competition and I look at Places You'll as readers enter the storybook house, my mug, and I said, ‘I the rebar reflects natural color and has have to do this.’” comfortable space between each strand.

Sometimes life’s like that.

However, as you travel the circular route through She worked with Jeff the storybook house, the space between the rebar • Olivares on the design and grows dense and the natural colors disappear into Diary of a figuring out how to start stark steel. Then, once you return to the beginning, Worm building the balloon-shaped the natural colors re-emerge, as does the space. storybook house.

“As you’re walking around the structure, you’re “It’s kind of crazy once actually in the story as well,” Beyer said. you start building this thing.

The storybook is ADA accessible, which was We didn’t really have an important to the design, Beyer explained, adding idea how tall it was going they burned illustrations from the book onto the to be when we actually put wooden floor. it up,” Olivares explained. “It “What’s really fitting about it is it’s made of was bigger than we industrial materials, and it’s set within a thought it was going garden that’s set within the city that’s to be.” grown up around it,” he said.

The two-piece CONTINUED ON PAGE 29 ► structure’s base is made of wood, but its top, which took a team of eight people using poles and hooks to place, is composed of around 250 hula hoops.

“We have a lot of kids and people come up to it and just say ‘wow’ and stare at it. That’s the best part of it,” Olivares said. “It looks like it will be a kid favorite.”

The Little House

Written by Virginia Lee Burton • Storybook house designed by James P. Beyer, RVK Architects, and Andi Galloway, Joeris General Contractors • This is a true Texas tale that many residents on the outskirts of San Antonio, Austin, San Marcos and Boerne can identify with.

Virginia Lee Burton weaves a story about a woman who builds a house on a hill in the country. However, eventually a city grows up around the house on the hill. Then, years later, the

•

The Little House

PHOTOS BY JUSTIN MOORE & GABRIELA MATA

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ARTS + CULTURE

◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 27

Jack and the Beanstalk

The most popular version was published by Benjamin Tabart in 1807 • Storybook house called “San Antonio and the Beanstalk” is by Lucas Mackey, Esau Hernandez and Marcel Van der Maas, all of Overland Partners • We all know this one. Jack foolishly trades his impoverished mother’s cow for magic beans. The mother, being righteously furious, throws the beans outside and sends Jack to bed.

Come nighttime, a giant beanstalk that leads to a castle in the sky grows. You know the rest.

“This installation is to bring a cloud from Jack and the Beanstalk down to San Antonio,” Mackey said, adding that they made sure the installation was interactive. “So you could come create your own stories and adventures.”

To do that, they created 90 different cloud panels that drape down in nine different sizes over the beanstalk.

“We mixed those up to create this cloud shape,” he said.

The cloud is made of scrim fabric, which was recycled from Overland Partners’ installation at the most recent Luminaria.

“We just wanted, and a lot ties into the garden’s mission, like, we should be good stewards of the planet, and we’re reusing what we can and trying not to waste,” Mackey said.

Luckily, for the Alamo City, this whimsical structure isn’t going away once the “Storybook Houses” exhibit concludes at the San Antonio Botanical Garden in July.

“The rest is made of steel. One of the reasons we chose steel is because we are planning to put this somewhere else in San Antonio once it’s done,” Van der Maas said. “Again, tied to sustainability and not dispose of it and give it back to the community. We are hoping this can be in a public place for people to enjoy.”

Sleeping Beauty

Originated between 1330 and 1344 in the anonymous prose Percefores • Storybook house

by South San Antonio High School student Ernest Guerrero • There’s a castle in the San Antonio Botanical Garden complete with a bed for a sleeping beauty — or just for a catnap near WaterSaver Lane.

Ernest Guerrero is the only student to design a structure for the “Storybook Houses” exhibit.

“I thought the bed would be a nice draw for

•

Jack and the Beanstalk

kids,” Guerrero said, flanked by his teacher Angelica Flores. “They could take pictures out the window and re-enact the story.”

As for the castle, again, he’s just thinking of the children.

“I thought kids would find it interesting, the castle being out in the woods, in the Botanical Garden,” Guerrero said.

While he may have designed the structure, Flores said it was a group effort between the advanced architecture class, the construction class and art students who were interested in helping out with some of the painting.

“After designing it, we became worker bees,” Flores said. “When we went into the woodshop, we didn’t know how to use the tools or how to go about it.”

And Guerrero and South San Antonio High School didn’t get a free pass, either.

Klemmer said the Botanical Garden didn’t realize that the submission was from a high school until after the fact.

“They chose five projects and I’m the only one who is a high school student who doesn’t work for an architecture firm,” Guerrero said. “That feels really great.”

•

Sleeping Beauty

sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 29

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ARTS + CULTURE

GO NATIVE

Embracing drought-resistant landscaping saves more than water MARK REAGAN/@210REAGAN GABRIELA MATA

•

A cottage on WaterSaver Lane

The term xeriscape can bring a bleak image to mind: a dull, grayish, rocky landscape absent of life outside of a few cacti and succulents.

San Antonio Botanical Garden Director of Programs Cynthia Klemmer has heard it before.

“The stereotype is that a xeriscape is just a yard devoid of grass and full of rocks and cacti. And, it’s so much more than that,” Klemmer said, from WaterSaver Lane in the garden. “It’s such a turnoff. A cactus garden can be beautiful, but there’s lots of options.”

There’s perhaps no better place to exhibit this in San Antonio than WaterSaver Lane, which features six cottages demonstrating waterfriendly gardening techniques used in drought-tolerant landscaping, including “Cottage Garden,” “Spanish Courtyard,” "Wildscape,” “Manicured Xeriscape” or “Hill Country.” There’s also a not-sowater friendly St. Augustine-dominated landscape for comparison.

In South Texas, there’s a reason to consider embracing the xeriscape, which, simply put, means utilizing plants that reduce the need for supplemental water, or stops it altogether.

“If you choose plants that are native to this region, they’re already going to be adapted and tend to be more resistant to pests and insects,” Klemmer explained.

“They’ll be able to tolerate them and they

are certainly handy in this climate with the level of water.”

There are also financial incentives to considering drought-resistant landscaping.

For one, the San Antonio Botanical Garden estimates that 30 percent of water used by Alamo City households drains right into lawns. Secondly, in addition to saving on water bills, the San Antonio Water System has a coupon program where people can get rebates for embracing low-water use xeriscaping.

But again, SAWS says it isn’t asking people to rip out all the grass from their lawns.

“The whole idea is for lawns to be a third grass, a third hardscape and a third in planted beds,” SAWS Spokeswoman Anne Hayden said.

The spring coupon package includes 15 drought-tolerant plants. To be eligible, people need to remove 200-square-feet of grass per coupon (two max), apply for a $100 rebate and then shop for the plants at participating nurseries.

To learn more, visit gardenstylesa. com or visit WaterSaver Lane at the San Antonio Botanical Garden, which, by the way, offers couponing classes for the SAWS program.

Oh, and one more plus to using native drought-tolerant plants is users can expect to see more butterflies and birds brightening up the yard. mreagan@sacurrent.com

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Marvel’s Daredevil returns for second season and introduces the Punisher CODY VILLAFANA

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Charlie Cox and Jon Bernthal star as Matt Murdock/Daredevil and Frank Castle/the Punisher in Daredevil.

If the overwhelming and surprising success of Deadpool has taught us anything, it’s that there is a market and audience for “adult”-themed comic book hero fare. Gleefully violent, profane and wildly entertaining, Deadpool’s rousing triumph has proven that R-rated movies can co-exist with the family-friendly flicks cultivated by Marvel Studios.

Look further, however, and you’ll see that the stars began aligning with the massive launch of Marvel’s TV universe on Netflix, starting with Daredevil. Initially met with cautious optimism, audiences were stunned by the brutality and gritty tone of the debut Marvel series. Memorable performances, extremely well-choreographed fight sequences and great portrayals not only removed the stink from the character caused by Daredevil’s poorly received film version, but carried the show to almost instant renewal.

As season two of Daredevil premieres on Netflix later this week, the creative team looks to continue the hot streak established by the Marvel TV output so far and drive the universe closer to eventual unification in The Defenders.

One of the major draws to season two has been the inclusion of Frank Castle/the Punisher and the series wastes no time in debuting Jon Bernthal as the character.

After a couple of failed big screen iterations, fans should

be pleased with the unhinged and, ahem, punishing violence of Castle. His introduction isn’t perfect, but the fact that audiences get initiated to the Punisher in action as opposed to yet another origin story is refreshing on its own. Bernthal aptly plays Castle, expressing the need to obliterate bad people so they can’t hurt anyone again. The decision to allow Castle to explain his motivations through dialogue and a solid performance, rather than flashing back and showing it, is the best one made early on.

The hand-to-hand combat sequences remain brutal as the Punisher and Daredevil (Charlie Cox) duke it out several times over the first few episodes, a fundamental disagreement on how to keep the streets of Hell’s Kitchen clean leaving the two at odds. Trying to recapture the feel of one of the best scenes on television last year (a single take fight scene reminiscent of Chan-Wook Park’s Oldboy), one of the episodes contains a scene of Daredevil wasting an entire gang. It’s more creatively shot, utilizing a constantly moving camera down a flight of stairs, but it doesn’t quite match the magic seen in season one.

The biggest revelation of the freshman season of Daredevil was the character of Wilson Fisk and his portrayal by Vincent D’Onofrio. As a mix of unpredictable,

merciless and vulnerable, it was a staggeringly good performance of a ruthless character that was scarier and more effective than any villain Marvel has ever put on the big screen. While the Punisher is certainly frightening in his own right, his role seems more that of an adversary than the ominous omnipresence of Fisk in season one.

He’s dangerous, but he carries nowhere near the sheer terror, unpredictability and dread that hung over the first season like a dark cloud.

Unfortunately, any scenes in the early goings on that don’t involve the Punisher seem to drag a little. There are certainly some interesting moments with Matt Murdock’s associate Foggy Nelson (Elden Henson); especially seeing Foggy show his verbal gymnastics skills. The rest of the runtime of the early episodes, however, are bogged down with generic gang turf wars and side characters that don’t really inspire much interest.

Fans of the first season will be happy to know that nothing about Daredevil’s content has been sanitized.

The violence is graphic, the language is salty and the mood is dark. The dialogue and plot devices can occasionally be a tad generic, but fans should be satisfied by the early output of episodes.

Daredevil begins streaming on Netflix Friday, March 18. sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 33

September 18, 1969 to March 15, 2015 A year has passed since a senseless act of violence took your life and changed ours forever. You were and are still loved by many for all the amazing things you did while you were here on this earth with us. Not one day has passed that we do not remember you or think of you and although for many it has been a year it still seems like just yesterday for us. Some people say time heals all wounds but the broken heart doesn’t ever heal with any amount of time it just adjusts to a new “normal” without you here on earth with us. You were listed on the “most notable” people who passed away in 2015.

You deserved that acknowledgement for all of your accomplishments.

A determined entrepreneur who put all his visions into reality. Co-founder of Nikita Productions, Inc. who brought San Antonio, River City Bike Fest, Slinging Ink Tattoo Expo, Siesta Fest, South Texas Rock Fest, Salsa Fest, and various concerts at Sunken Gardens, Hemisfair Park, and various other venues. Co-founder of Backstage Live now Alamo City Music Hall and Psycho Asylum/Slaughter House Haunted House.

Above all else we remember you for being Daddy, Husband, Soulmate, Son, Brother, Friend, Boss; who had a heart of gold and an amazing love for his children. We ask that today you say a short prayer for Pete. May he continue to rest in peace and know that God has him where he needs to be.

Our children like to pray this one, because they know that Pete watches over us.

“Angel of God my guardian dear, to whom God’s love commits me here, ever this day be at my side to light and guard, to rule and guide.” Amen.

CARDINAL HOPE Our son insisted on not allowing Pete’s death to be in vain and wanted a way for his memory to continue.

After thinking long and hard we decided that his heart of gold and amazing love for his children would continue to serve a purpose to other children who have suffered a loss of a parent by an act of violence.

Cardinal Hope is non-profit organization that will assist children in adapting to their new “normal” by donating items that will assist the children with school supplies, clothing, toiletries, as well as, meals and gifts during the holiday seasons. Cardinal Hope is a stepping stone that will help you continue your journey on earth. Always know that your loved one is watching and cheering you on as if they were right beside you. They are now an “Angel of God” and are with you always in your heart.

WWW.CARDINALHOPE.COM 34

CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

SCREENS

NO ‘POLITE’ IN ‘POLITICS’ Does House of Cards pull back the curtain on American politics?

•

Glad-handing and backstabbing with President Francis Underwood

TRAVIS BUFFKIN | @DTBUFFKIN

Without as much as a please or thank you, the fourth season of House of Cards is underway.

Along with its sensational storylines, complete with homicidal politicians and incestuous ulterior motives that would make the oft-quoted Shakespeare proud, the first Netflix series to receive an Emmy is a candid look into the backroom wheeling and dealing of the political elite.

Season four picks up with former Vice President Francis Underwood (Kevin Spacey) taking up residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Once his only desire, the end all be all of the Machiavellian democrat from South Carolina, Underwood now finds himself without his greatest ally, wife Claire (Robin Wright). The couple’s separation comes just as Francis is gearing up for primary season and faces the very-real possibility of becoming a lame duck president, his greatest fear after having tasted the insatiable cornucopia of absolute submission as the most powerful human on Earth.

Ex-journalist, current convict Lucas Goodwin, around which the show’s sparse morality orbits, is stuck in prison, doing time for a failed attempt at gaining info on the whereabouts of Rachel Posner, one of the few witnesses to the Underwoods’ by-any-means-necessary approach to ladder climbing. I won’t spoil it for you, but Goodwin’s appeals for humanity, in a world where the most ethical thing to do is often tantamount to career suicide, reach into the deepest crimson of Homeland

Security's color-coded terror index.

What’s most compelling about the show — murderous manipulation and sexual escapades aside — is the evolving sociopathic tendencies of Underwood and his excruciatingly loyal aids, particularly ring-felching White House Chief of Staff Doug Stamper. The ability to demand and instruct without the pesky pangs of mannered mores and social norms becomes the preferred mode of communication for Underwood, wasting no time in commanding exactly what he wants with a demonstrative click of the secured-line from the Oval Office.

Generally avoiding obvious parallels with any of the candidates in our current electoral shit show, House of Cards is most enjoyable (to this viewer) as a character study in the effects of power upon the morality and ego of the individuals embroiled in the business of Politic.

Although most politicians can seem like blundering hatemongers or out of touch one-percenters, what House of Cards makes perfectly clear is that, if anything like the Underwoods, those in the political limelight are absolutely aware of the public’s perception of them, and pay handily for the privilege. The elite’s access to our perceptions of their personas — particularly those that fall in the hefty middle of the voting bell curve — rarely seem to phase them. They are not checking the political pulse to alter their lives of shameful discrepancies, the landfill

of human ethics that they have become, but to further manipulate us into thinking that they truly care about anything other than control and advantage; that they care about us. Sure, they believe they are doing “what’s best” for America, but they will do just about anything for that egomaniacal privilege.

Executive producers Spacey, Wright and David Fincher offer a glimpse into the baby kissing and backstabbing that every candidate must employ to bang their wife (or intern) in the same room as JFK and Jackie O. (and Marilyn) and, basically, decide the fate of modern civilization. House of Cards functions as a sensational damnation of the entire system of unchecked egos and bullshit balancing that goes on in the nation’s Capitol (note the upside down American flag logo).

Whether a drama that incriminates the American political process will have any effect on the polls this November is yet to be measured, particularly as our options are boiling down to a choice between furthering a nepotistic political dynasty, a rampant, racist salesman, a creepy bible camp counselor and a politically Eurocentric do-gooder from Ben & Jerry’s territory. If Francis Underwood is any indication of the kind of gruesome grit it takes to be sworn in January 20, 2017, may they all lose, so that we may win.

Season four of House of Cards is currently streaming on Netflix. dtbuffkin@sacurrent.com sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 35

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FOOD

LITERAL FARMVILLE

Your spring garden could make you some green MATT STIEB

As a large and sprawling city, San Antonio has a wealth of underutilized land: alleyways, rooftops and thin strips between fences that have never been looked at as an outlet for beauty or revenue. But, as of 2016, City Council has approved these lots for new growth as micro-agricultural spaces. In a December 2015 amendment to the city’s Unified Development Code, gardeners and urban farmers will be able to grow and sell their yield from almost any lot in the city.

In the city’s zoning matrix, most plots are automatically labeled as “residential market gardens,” permitting the growth and sale of fruits, grains and vegetables.

“It’s never been illegal,” says Leslie Provence, vice president of the Food Policy Council of San Antonio. “But in a lot of cities where urban agriculture has increased, there have been various problems related to land use. We just didn’t want to have misunderstandings or complaints.”

In Austin, urban farms have dotted the city map since the 1970s. But as neighborhoods have gentrified in recent years, nosey-neighbor complaints have temporarily shut down operations at some urban farms. “They had a very reactive process to give them some protection,” said Provence. By getting a law on the books early, urban farmers will be secure in their rights as San Antonio continues to grow.

Working with the city’s Metro Health and Development Services departments, Green Space Alliance and LocalSprout’s Mitch Hagney, Provence wrote and submitted the amendment to City Council. Provence says that the final

piece of legislation is “very close” to the ideal draft the team put together.

“The best thing is that you can grow and sell at your own home without getting a permit,” she said. “If you’re living on the property, you have a residential market garden, no matter how big it is. If you’re farming somewhere you don’t live, no matter how small it is, it’s classified as an urban farm.”

By this definition, urban farms will be allowed on all lots in the city, except for single-family residential zoning. In these spaces, a farmer must seek a special use permit to grow on the land.

To beautify and put empty lots to work, District 2 Councilman Alan Warrick made a proposal to use vacant land for farming without special permits. Defeated 6-3 at City Council, Provence hopes that the city will rehear the proposition.

The other obstacle still remaining for urban farmers is the homeowner’s association, that bastion of ’80s and ’90s suburban life. Receiving their authority from the state government, a homeowner’s association supersedes the right to a residential market garden if the growing plot clashes with a neighborhood’s “Little Boxes” look.

“They have a right to regulate those things,” says Provence. “But if enough neighbors wanted to change the rules, possibly they could. [Change] would have to come from within.”

How do these changes effect farmers and gardeners now? For farmers that sell to restaurants and wholesalers like Farm to Table, Provence believes that “There will be many more places where they can do that in the city now.”

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Smaller farmers like Justin Parr don’t expect as much of an immediate impact.

Parr, the caretaker of the Hot Wells ruins on the Southside, has been farming on the estate for four years. “Me, personally, no. It won’t change how I operate,” said Parr. When he has an excess of a certain crop, Parr heads to Bliss to exchange his goods for a tab at the Southtown restaurant. For people like Parr — somewhere between a gardener and a farmer — the law likely won’t change their recreational activity. “But people that are looking to make it sustainable and make money are probably really excited by it,” says Parr.

Looking toward the city’s sustainable

future, the law could find its greatest impact. With a global food system impacted by the unpredictable weather of a changing climate, securing local food sources would mark a vital pivot toward sustainability in San Antonio. To transition toward real sustainability, a city must play to its strengths; within such a spreadout town, it’s hard to imagine any major improvement in public transportation, unlike a more compact, northeastern city. With so much land sitting unused and unallocated, the new urban farming codes hope to turn a civic problem into an agricultural solution, setting up San Antonio to become a great food city in the years to come.

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PRIME SEATING STAFF

7 Patios We Love For Spring

> ALDACO’S • Multiple locations, aldacosrestaurants.com

> BURLESON YARD BEER GARDEN • 430 Austin St. Retail - Institutional - Specialty Blends • 8oz.

- 300lbs. or more (210) 354-3001 Food: Mini street tacos, enchilada facebook.com/burlesonyard plates, fajita night and breakfast chile rellenos for brunch on weekends Food: There’s an early rotating cast of Drinks: More than a dozen frozen and food trucks, including on-the-rock varieties of margaritas, Revolutionary Wings, which carries a mojitos, wine, mezcal and cerveza fria signature chicken and waffles iteration Why it’s a fave: From the river to we can’t wait to try. the hills! Aldaco’s, whether located at Drinks: A fine selection of draft, 20079 Stone Oak Parkway or 22211 canned and bottled beers from local, W. I-10, overlooks all the greenery regional and big name brewers. Bonus, and huge homes the respective areas there’s a spicy michelada with your have to offer. While dining on Mexican name on it. cuisine and toasting your glass of wine Why It’s a Fave: Dignowity Hill is with your dining partner, you may feel essentially 90 percent patio. OK, that’s as though you live in your dream home. not entirely factual, but in the last year, Even if it’s just for a moment. after the opening of Alamo Beer, Big 106 PERSHING AVE (BEHIND THE SMOKE SHACK) 48

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FOOD

Hops The Bridge and Toro Taco Bar, the area’s carving out a sunshine-filled, gravel-lined nook in SA. With Burleson, the area gains a massive new backyard filled with aluminum tables, tall picnic tables and, best of all, a cute hammock garden. They’ve been open less than a week, but Burleson is already winning over crowds. > CAPPY’S RESTAURANT • 5011 Broadway (210) 828-9669 • cappysrestaurant.com Food: There is Texas pot roast, steak frites, crab cakes, fried gulf shrimp, diver scallops, their signature Heights Burger, and much more. On the sweet side, Key lime pie, sticky toffee pudding and house favorite New Orleans bread pudding.

Drinks: Featuring a full assortment of red and white wines by the glass or bottle, full range of beers and a host of traditional (Manhattan, Gimlet, Martini, Gibson, Margarita) and takes on Pimm’s cup, the El Rey, the

JACQUELINE FIERRO

∙

Burleson might be your new favorite spot.

∙

A new life for SAMA’s patio

Wingman, Blood and Sand, and the Vespa cocktails.

Why it’s a fave: Cappy’s Restaurant is a long-standing San Antonio institution located in the heart of Alamo Heights. They have specialized in casual, upscale dining for almost 40 years. On any given day, you can enjoy the best of what Alamo Heights has to offer from their shaded patio, neatly hidden from the rush of traffic from busy Broadway. A fire in 2015 briefly shut them down, but Cappy’s is most definitely back.

patio welcomes folks coming and going by a gorgeous fireplace (Editor’s note: get there early, it’s a tight spot.). The second patio provides more of a tranquil setting away from the hustle of the Pearl. Take in the view of the river, people watch and pretend you’re on vacay.

> GRAYZE • 521 E. Grayson St. (210) 481-8776 • grayzeongrayson.com

Food: Vegan tacos (and tacos de tocino, as well), nachos, shrimp balls, tortas and then some Drinks: A strong list of Mexican cervezas will draw you in, as will the frozen margaritas.

Why it’s a fave: There’s a certain amount of charm that goes along with a place that can somehow make you forget you’re down the street from a borderline sketchy part of town. The patio is prime seating for live music and if you venture upstairs, you’ll get a taste for the rooftop life without dropping Paramour prices.

Food: Tiny snackables that are rich in flavors and won’t wreck you? Sign us up. The calamari is stellar, the barbacoa sliders are tasty bites and the dessert options (s’mores in a jar!) can’t be beat.

Drinks: Sara Bass is tackling the task of creating pleasing patio pounders and so far, we’re digging the selection. There’s a curated list of wines available, along with a few beers, so this patio can be enjoyed by many.

Why it’s a fave: Remember The Monterey? Add more wooden pallets, an upcoming garden and, we’ll say it, fewer hipsters and you’ve got Grayze. You’ll want to hang out here all spring and probably all summer, too. > HOTEL EMMA • 136 E. Grayson St. (210) 448-8300 • thehotelemma.com Food: Though dinner and breakfast are also served here, we’re fans of the shady and breezy lunch at Supper. Share a bowl of pillowy gnudi, or charred green beans with seaweed remoulade. Tackle one of the sandwiches or salads and conquer Museum Reach.

Drinks: The Kinsman rakia laced Bellini with peach bitters, lemon and Champagne is dreamy, and the classic Martinez is potent and cold, expect new menu items as the staff launches a new menu in the coming weeks.

Why it’s a fave: When a hotel makes you feel right at home, you never want to leave. Luckily San Antonio’s newest does just the thing. Hotel Emma, located at Pearl, has two patios for guests to lounge. The first

> SANCHOS CANTINA Y MAS • 628 Jackson St. (210) 320-1840 • facebook.com/sanchosmx

> SKETCH AT SAMA • 200 W. Jones Ave. (210) 896-6161 • facebook.com/sketchatthemuseum Food: Lovers of all things French need look no further than this quaint bistro that combines art and croissants.

The menu mirrors that of sister location CommonWealth Coffeehouse & Bakery off Broadway, so expect crepes, tarts, Parisian desserts and buttery sandwiches.

Drinks: Sadly no booze, but plenty of coffee Why it’s a fave: Sketch at the Museum, located at the San Antonio Museum of Art, transports you to another world.

The decor at Sketch perfectly matches that of the gorgeous museum, as if the two have been combined. As you walk into Sketch, the natural lighting and art take your attention.

However, near the back of the restaurant is a door that leads you to the patio area. Sketch’s patio faces the San Antonio River and provides a natural breeze. Most patios on the second floor come to an end quite abruptly, but Sketch has numerous tables that stretch out along the river. If you want to escape your life, or if you’re having a bit of trouble concentrating, clear your mind on Sketch’s patio. sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 49

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210 .86 2 . 55 8 2 www.BAKERYLORRAINE.com

306 Pearl Parkway, Suite 110 sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 51

FOOD

FRANCOPHILE’S DREAM Cliff Chetwood on Crème de la Crème and cooking for Tony Parker JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS

What’s it like to cook for Tony Parker?

On Friday, March 18, Spurs fans will get a chance to ask the man wh cooks for No. 9 just that.

After more than four years of whipping up nutritionally balanced and delicious fare for the Spurs’ point guard, chef Cliff Chetwood and Parker are teaming up to launch Crème de la Crème, a French food truck, which will make its debut at the Point Park & Eats (24188 Boerne Stage Road) at 3 p.m. this Friday.

But before they decided which crepes were going to make it on the menu, Parker and Chetwood had to build what will likely be a lifelong friendship that began in 2011.

For Chetwood, the process of becoming a chef to one of the Spurs’ best players (and one of it’s most food-driven, too) took some time. His love of food began at an early age, after getting that knack from both his parents. At 17, Chetwood dabbled in the culinary world with his first job at Sea Island where he developed as a front of the house manager. A three-year stint in the Army, and several jobs later, Chetwood made his way into J. Alexander’s where he manned the prep station on busy weekdays.

“I had a knack for it, because I had the agility and speed. I knew I was valuable there. So I decided I wanted to become a chef,” Chetwood said.

He took on a job with personal chef Sarah Penrod, then Parker’s personal chef and a Dallas native who went on to participate on the Food Network’s Next Food Network Star. Eventually Penrod’s blossoming schedule meant Chetwood handled Parker’s dietary needs, until TP offered him the position just before the 2011 NBA lockout.

“I was hesitant because I was working for her and learning a lot from her, and I didn’t have training, but he said it didn’t matter,” Chetwood explained.

So what does a 28-year-old basketball star do when league play is halted by contract talks? Well, he goes back home to France with his new personal chef in tow.

This meant Chetwood could take on a job in Michelin restaurants. With four French trips under his belt, these days 35-year-old Chetwood can lay claim to working in kitchens such as Paul Bocuse’s Collonges-au-Mont-d’Or, La Maison Troisgros, Le Central and La Colline du Colombier.

While there, Chetwood was able to learn new flavor combinations, though he says the experience of traveling abroad in itself helped teach him plenty. He had the of 52

CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

support of Parker’s mother, Pamela Firestone, who helped frites, sweet and savory crepes, croque monsieurs, hot goat encourage Chetwood’s love for French cuisine. cheese salad (chèvre chaud) and a few items that aren’t “His mom is a huge supporter. I came back from food truck staples like the veal scallopini.

France with a duffel bag of books about French cuisine All of it will be made out of the French-flag-inspired that she’d given me,” Chetwood says of his first trip. former school bus that’s been turned into a full kitchen.

But it’s not always off-season cheeses, and breads and At 28-feet long and with a 19-foot kitchen, Crème de foie gras — though these are all some of Parker’s favorites. la Crème will face crowds with a handful of people on “On the off-season, I can make pretty much anything. board, including chef’s son Andrew.

He’ll have raclette, which is basically just cheese, for “He’s been working with me since I started working with lunch,” Chetwood said.

Tony,” said Chetwood. And just like his father, the 16-yearCome game time, the meals lean on the old can manage to keep things professional healthier side of things with salmon and brown rice around the four-time NBA champion.

Crème de la Crème still making appearances along with a few dishes “I was never a fan, I was there to work,” The Point Park & Eats that have found their way into Crème de la Crème’s 24188 Boerne Stage Road Chetwood said. “I’ve never asked for a menu. Food truck fans will get their pick of steak autograph.” flavor@sacurrent.com Thursdays 5-10 p.m.

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Forget Guinness. This St. Paddy’s Day, learn about Irish whiskey at the Hyatt Regency Hill Country Resort and Spa, which will feature a tasting of whiskeys on Thursday, March 17 from 2-6 p.m. Try varieties out of 2 Gingers, Kilbeggan Whiskey Distilling Co., Knappogue Castle, as well as lauded Connemara Peated Single Malt Irish Whiskey. Tickets are $17 per person and include chef David Barrett’s spread of Irish food pairings.

Your weekend plans should include celebrating the official start to spring (though it’s essentially felt like spring since January) at Alchemy Kombucha and Culture (1123 N. Flores St., 210-320-1168) on Saturday, March 19 at 5 p.m. The festivities include plenty of cocktails and food specials.

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Put the Peeps down. Easter weekend is nearly here and if you’re hoping to keep the family happy or want to avoid post-church crowds, you may as well put in reservations now. Las Canarias at Hotel Contessa (112 College St., 210-5181063) will serve brunch from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at $75 per person plus tip and tax with Champagne cocktails, a buffet of morning fair, chilled selections, salad station, a chef-carved station with smoked prime rib, cider cured ham and achiote-marinated turkey breast along with paella Valenciana, Texas Redfish and Texas braised beef short ribs.

Hit up Citrus’ (150 E. Market St., 210-230-8412) Easter buffet where selections include a chilled bar, a migas station, cinnamon French toast, papas bravas, a carving station of spiral cut jamon and roasted prime rive and Easter-themed desserts. Prices are $59.95 for adults and $24.95 for children. Buffet runs 10:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. and reservations are required.

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Spend your Easter Sunday at Tre Trattoria (4003 Broadway, 210-805-0333), which will offer a five-course prix-fixe brunch for $42.50. Tre’s regular dinner menu will be served after 4.

Made-to-order omelets, Belgian waffles, eggs Benedict, huevos rancheros, tacos and a dessert bar are all on deck during Tacos and Tequila’s (1915 Broadway, Suite 111, 210-314-8226) Easter buffet from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. At $22, the lineup includes rainbow chips, fire-roasted salsa, guacamole, Adobe pie, a carving station, street taco bar, aguas frescas and more. Early reservations will be accepted between and 9 and 10 a.m. only.

Finally, Sandbar Fish House & Market (200 E. Grayson St., Suite 117, 210-2122221) will reopen its doors after a brief hiatus on March 18. Expect new updates and menu changes once the eatery opens according to the Pearl’s public relation’s team. flavor@sacurrent.com

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NIGHTLIFE

KEEPING TABS

The Many Faces of Sauvignon Blanc RON BECHTOL

The white wine grape that is sauvignon blanc has more aliases than a candidate for witness protection; one source listed nearly seventy. Not to worry — there will not be a quiz.

But the number of synonyms is reflective of one thing: Depending on climate and geography, the grape can take on widely differing characteristics, from tart and grassy to lush and melon-y. Even in its natal region, France’s Bordeaux and Loire Valley, wines vary in nuance from floral to smoky — a reflection of soils dominated by chalk or gravel. You don’t really need to know all of this to appreciate the wine for the spring and summer charmer that it is. It does help to know that if you pick up a sauvignon blanc from New Zealand, it will be worlds apart in every sense from one produced in California.

New Zealand is a good place to start as the Kiwis made a big marketing push in the ’90s to establish sauvignon blanc as a signature grape — and it was a signature with a John Hancock flourish: in-your-face grass, grapefruit and gooseberry. It got our attention — and then it lost it. Which in turn got the attention of winemakers who began experimenting with other expressions. The 2014 Loveblock Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc, recently tasted at Supper’s bar, has traded in the grapefruit peel (though it kept a little of the grass and gooseberry) for flavors that hew closer to white peach and passion fruit, all kept honest by brisk acidity.

The Loveblock is a beautiful wine, one that’s reflective of the country’s new approach to the grape. And so is Trinity Hill’s 2013 Hawke's Bay Sauvignon Blanc ($18).

The gooseberry here is riper and coupled to green melon and some ruby grapefruit — but it’s all restrained. On the palate, the wine is decidedly New Zealand in pedigree, but the grapefruit, joined by lemon, passion fruit and lemon grass, is no longer one-note.

From my own so-called cellar comes another Southern Hemisphere charmer, the 2014 Mulderbosch Western Cape Sauvignon Blanc ($16) from South Africa.

Mulderbosch ages this wine on its lees for body and texture, and the result is aromas of light grass and lime peel coupled to more savory notes of green peppercorn.

Tastes run at first to lifted lime and green apple, but with time in the glass a flinty minerality emerges. Feel free to find fig, even green olive … the point is that flavors and aromas are all in balance.

Chilean sauvignon blancs can be southern seducers too, and among them is the modestly priced 2014 Casillero del Diablo ($10). This Concha y Toro product may not be as nuanced as the Mulderbosch or the Loveblock, but for the price it delivers attractive aromas of citrus peel and stewed rhubarb, along with lime and green olive, all of which soften nicely over time.

Many of the sauvignon blancs produced in California tend to exhibit characteristics of ripe melon or guava.

But the state is hardly uniform in geologies and microclimates — and in wine-making approaches, for that matter. Some winemakers look to barrel ageing to convey rounder, fuller flavors (and in the process, often employ the marketing term fumé blanc, first used by Robert Mondavi); others are steadfastly stainless steel in orthodoxy in order to emphasize acid and citrus.

And some, such as Ryan Zepaltas, do both. A project of the winemaker for pinot-famous Siduri, Zepaltas Wines produce a sauvignon blanc from Lake County vineyards at 1,400 feet. The 2013 release ($18) I tasted showed light lemon and green apple/pear on the nose, all shading into non-grassy grapefruit and passionfruit on the palate. Despite some apparent ageing in neutral barrels, this is poles away from the big-melon approach. (At around $25, the 2013 Round Pond Estate Rutherford Sauvignon Blanc is at another pole with unabashedly pretty aromas of lemon blossom and zest and flavors that toggle between stone fruit, kiwi and, yes, melon.)

I’m now looking wistfully at a bottle of chilled Sancerre Les Boucauds Claude Riffault ($28) from France’s Loire Valley … but you know what? I’m going to wait for a little shrimp sautéed in the same wine with, maybe, some tarragon or fennel. I should have started here, and now I’ve had enough sauv blanc for a while. But I know what to expect: light citrus, white peach, a bracing minerality … the French don’t disappoint. Good bottles of Sancerre can be found for half the price, too. sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 57

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VOT E!

NIGHTLIFE

PATIO POUNDER Yes, the Aperol Spritz is basic — no, I don’t care

Mon: Closed Tue.-Thu: 12p-10p

JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS

Call it aggressive marketing. But, really, I’d like to imagine that my sensibilities aren’t totally basic, and instead geared for more retro tastes. With the rise of aperitifs in cocktails in the last few years (we celebrate Campari week for goodness sake), I’ve had to nod along and pretend I’m a fan of the bitter, lingering taste of the aforementioned liqueur. I’m not. Sure, a Negroni can round out a rough day at the office and the color couldn’t be more gorgeous, but it’s just not for me.

Enter the Aperol.

Produced by the same makers of Campari, this aperitif isn’t new by any means, but it’s slowly making its way onto several bar menus across town.

Following nods in a handful of spirit rating competitions in 2010 and 2012, the mild and bright orange liqueur is giving its cousin a run for its money, at least in my book, with the Aperol Spritz, a go-to aperitif in Italy. These days, you can find Aperol reps sharing the sweet stuff across area cocktail bars.

As the weather slowly starts heating up, cocktail fans who are either a) too lazy to grab a shaker or b) looking for a new

brunch libation, can look to this ridiculously simple drink as a way to cool down. At 11 percent alcohol by volume, Aperol won’t totally trash your day, either.

The spritz comes together with three parts prosecco, two parts Aperol and one part soda served over ice in a wine glass.

It’s sweet, fizzy, playful and almost necessitates a freshly mowed lawn or big sunglasses for full enjoyment.

If you’re otherwise too preoccupied to purchase your own bottle of Aperol (available at most liquor stores), Francis Bogside carries the Spritz in its late-night reverse happy hour menu at $5 a pop.

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The Aperol Spritz 3 parts prosecco 2 parts Aperol 1 part soda

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sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 59

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CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

THE MAN WHO LED ZEPPELIN

•

The man who was king.

Thursday, March 15th K23 Presents

GLITTER WIZARD

DOORS 6PM / SHOW 9PM - ALL AGES Friday, March 18th Paper Tiger Presents

Robert Plant, folk phoenix, plays San Antonio

THE GRASSHOPPER LIES HEAVY

DOORS 6PM / SHOW 8PM - ALL AGES Saturday, March 19th Paper Tiger & Transmission Events Present

TRAVIS BUFFKIN | @DTBUFFKIN

As the lion-headed lead and humid honey roiling from singer of one of the most between their thighs. The throes of “successful” folk blues ecstasy he has experienced, from rock outfits of all time, Robert Plant lavish parties full of women, wine could, literally, just check out. With and song, discarded hotel rooms, the (often-contested) royalties the walls being the only witness to rolling in like manna from the golden what carnal delights were staged gods, the former Led Zeppelin within, to the glorious spectacles frontman could retire to a sprawling of cock and rock that occurred on estate in the Welsh hills and live Zep’s many trips through the U.S. off of cider and writing credits until and abroad. he finally mounts that stairway to This access, coital and heaven (sorry). Incidentally, this is otherwise, has helped temper the not the path he has chosen. artist that now prefers the loveThe 67-year-old seems, however making atmosphere of theaters to sensitively, to loathe the juggernaut the one-night stand anonymity of that has made him one of the most arenas, shirking the latter, venues established singers in all of rock that other performers like Bruce ‘n’ roll. Zeppelin, with guitarist Springsteen and the Rolling Stones Jimmy Page, the shamefully frequent, places he could easily fill under-mentioned bassist John if he was willing to become what Paul Jones and usual drummer he apparently feels is a gimmicky James Bonham, son of the late rehashing of past glories.

John Bonham, have played only a This is what’s most compelling handful of shows since the 1980 about Plant, the artist: That he breakup. Cuts from the Zeppelin prefers to forge ahead, treading catalog have remained in Plant’s the well-worn path of world music sets, but the tunes are mostly in all of its many forms and play it, reworked, employing more sedated sincerely, in small, cozy settings. arrangements and instrumentation.

His desire to continue in the folky Plant has, at this point, performed format he has negates all of the the famous catalog of sweatbullshit of being a washed up (onto drenched, mountain-hopping the shores of financial Elysium, jammers more often with his perhaps) rock star. This is what various backing bands than he should be praised he ever did with his primary for, beyond the 40-yearmoney-maker, and as Robert Plant and old hits and the brawny, the Sensational considerably less hot-andblonde torso exposed bothered stadium thumpers. Space Shifters and framed in denim and $59.50-$175 If Plant’s cock could talk lace. Though he may have 8pm Thu, March 17 Tobin Center for the … oh, the tales of tail it bedded royalty, gorged Performing Arts could tell. Of nubile angelhimself on the finest 100 Auditorium Circle hairs, cherubic teens, pubic (210) 223-8624 delicacies, meat that drips fountains of frothy cream right off the bone, wine tobincenter.org

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that is fermented from the loins of seraphim and sensual jubilation hardly fathomable to us lowly masses, Plant plays on.

He still writes, too. His Sensational Space Shifters, many of which were compiled from his previous ensemble, Strange Sensation, are set to play the Tobin Center, a 1,750-capacity theater. Pulling from his recent LP Lullaby and … The Ceaseless Roar, Anglo folk ballads, rhythms from Africa and the East, the occasional Zeppelin tune, blues standards, country waltzes, Everly Brothers duets and songs from the underbelly of popular music, Plant is poised to please those that can progress with him. If you go looking for zeppelin-sized antics or adolescent affectation, may you be severely disappointed.

Like many of the best white rock ‘n’ roll heroes of the last days of the Western music empire — when folks bought records and artists made records — his persona has surpassed his art. However, to witness a Plant performance today, with its intimate atmosphere and sincere treatment, one would struggle to believe it — a blessing in itself as I don’t have the endurance to stand around for three hours while Plant parades around on an inflatable penis with special guest Taylor Swift as they plod through a synth-laced version of “Black Dog.” Thank you, Robert, for the years of depravity and opulence and the resulting ones of humility and craftsmanship. dtbuffkin@sacurrent.com

COCO ROSIE, PRAYERS, PROTOMARTYR, LUST FOR YOUTH, PURE BATHING CULTURE,

METHYL ETHYL, GUERILLA TOSS, INHALT, BOAN, SAMANTHA GLASS, FILTHY, MOZE PRAY, ELLIS RENDON, COOLERS, RITUALZ, TROLLER AND MORE! DOORS 12PM/ SHOW 12:30P - ALL AGES Sunday, March 20th Burger Records Presents

HANGOVER FEST IV! THE SPITS, BLEACHED SHANNON & THE CLAMS

COSMONAUTS, LA LUZ, NIGHT BEATS, WHITE LUNG, HINDS, NO PARENTS, GUANTANAMO BAYWATCH, TIJUANA PANTHERS, THE GOOCH PALMS, ALL DOGS, THE RICH HANDS, PIZZA TIME, GO!ZILLA, LAS PINAS, FROTH, AMERICAN SHARKS, THE BOLOS, DEATH VALLEY GIRLS, LA WITCH DOORS 12PM / SHOW 12:30PM - ALL AGES Monday, March 21st Transmission Events Presents

SKIZZY MARS

W/ P-LO DOORS 6PM / SHOW 9PM - ALL AGES Friday, March 27th Paper Tiger Presents

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W/ LAFFING GAS DOORS 6PM / SHOW 9PM - ALL AGES sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 61

MUSIC

Paper Tiger celebrates one year with Heatwave and Hangover Fest

•

Below: Harrowing philoso-punks Protomartyr. Left: The Sisters Casady, Biance and Sierra.

TRAVIS BUFFKIN | SHANNON SWEET

It’s hard to believe it’s been a whole year since the White Rabbit — the dark, dingy rock club with the perpetual line of Hot Topic devotees queuing up at 5 p.m. — morphed into mid-level mecca Paper Tiger. The Transmission Events-fed destination for past and present icons of the pop music world, as well as a springboard for local talent to gain exposure opening for more established fare, began with a resounding barrage of badass shows. Just in the past year, the venue has hosted Texas garage rock idol Roky Erickson, the onagain, off-again Murder City Devils, hip-hop heavyweights Naughty By Nature, indie icons of Montreal, comedian Hannibal Buress, punk doo woppers King Khan & BBQ Show, !!! and The Dandy Warhols, to name a few.

In celebration of their birthday, the folks behind the venue are throwing a party for all to enjoy. Simply entitled Heatwave, the show, running from noon to midnight (at least), will be an excellent opportunity to catch buzz bands in the independent music circuit, local talent and to make Sunday’s fourth Burger Hangover Fest — bursting at its frayed seams with raw rock righteousness — live up to its blurry-eyed, head-splitting name. Here are some of the acts you should avoid skipping to get high in the car (wait for the set changeover, rookie). Just FYI, you can score two-day passes to both events for $35.

Kicking things off on the small stage will be local ethereal soundscaper Ellis Redon (12:30pm). The Coolers (1pm), comprised of San Anto rock ‘n’ roll know-it-alls the Fleming brothers, are not to be missed as they’ve never disappointed in any capacity.

If synths and beats can cause nervous breakdowns upon listening, Moze Pray’s (1:30pm) sparse use of anything but noise will make you more uncomfortable than watching snuff porn with your parents. Interestingly, creep-electro bondage outfit Troller’s (2pm) video for “Not Here” is close to a snuff film. The sensual vulgarity of the trio should get everybody super sad and randy at the start of the day.

Methyl Ethel (4pm) will be opening for Radiohead soon, sharing the pedigree of manic, mysterious melodies, angelic swaths of smooth sax and dopamined samples with the world’s biggest band. Catch ‘em before you’re forced to drive to The Woodlands with your pockets full of mushrooms, weed and a serious case of paranoia.

Another group with a knack for softcore videos, 62

CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

complete with a Hitchcockian pantyhose-lens sheen, is (7:40pm) has in store for them in the pity-me department.

Boan (8:45pm), particularly their video for “Babylon,” an Embracing his “I don’t give a fuck” attitude, former gang intoxicating dance anthem, stuck inside of you after the member and Prayers founder Rafael Reyes sings over an first listen. ’80s beat: “I’m alone in this world / I’m alone / I’m alone Another in the long line of artists writing songs in / I’m alone / I’m alone in this fucking world,” all while the Depechian mode, minimalists Lust For Youth masterfully applying lipstick and drawing on tear drops.

(6:20pm) must have sold their souls to the same devil Headliners Protomartyr (9:15pm), who are sick and of dance as Kraftwerk, Dave Gahan and the Pet Shop tired of hearing about being from the depressed capitalist Boys. Perfect for pining over that doe-eyed, twinky waif shanty town of Detroit, are from the depressed capitalist across the dance floor. shanty town of Detroit. I only mention this because their OK, this may be getting a little redundant but Pure nary-a-dance-beat drive, wrought with baritone lyrics Bathing Culture’s (5pm) video for “Pray For Rain” pulled from the more poetic scriptures of a politically includes a Truth or Dare-era Madonna meets Flashdancenihilistic psychology student, are splendidly fitting for the inspired striptease, a perfect mashup for their 21 parts city that D.C. forgot.

Wilson Phillips, 32 parts Crystal Castles, 69 parts Fragile like powdery butterfly wings and more tragic Material Girl sound. than your first unrequited love, CocoRosie’s (10:30pm) Just like their name implies, San Anto punkers Filthy offbeat and distressingly beautiful music still has an (4:30pm) get down, dirty and loud enough to be charged underlying feminine strength that makes them more than a with a misdemeanor by the SAPD … then rip up heartbroken damsel in distress. After the release the citation because they’re punks and if it’s too of a solo effort and their sixth full-length album loud, you’re probably a narc.

— Heartache City — the sisters Casady return Heatwave $20 Even though Morrissey — who’s known for his to their roots of using fragmented antiquated large Latino following — is heralded as one of the Noon Sat, March 19 instruments, children’s toys and drum machines Paper Tiger most witty whiners, San Antonio fans have no paired with their delicate childlike and grand 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. idea what self-described “cholo goth” Prayers operatic voices. papertigersa.com

COCO ROSIE'S MOM

HEATED UP + HUNG OVER

MUSIC

BURGER HANGOVER MATT STIEB

As a natural enemy of SXSW’s swarms of PR people and false promises of exclusivity, I’m down to shell out $25 to see 35 of the festival’s best garage and punk bands on their ride back to California, however hung over they may be.

Thrown by Fuzzland Productions and Do210, Burger Hangover Fest IV welcomes the acolytes of Fullerton, California’s most prolific garage label. Since 2007, Burger has released over 700 cassettes of blown-out, fuzzed-out and fucked up rock ‘n’ roll.

On Sunday, the Burger caravan — imagine a busted fleet of tour vans, farting out exhaust and bong clouds — rolls into town, ready to shred on a city that loves itself some rock ‘n’ roll. Behold, our guide to the twostage mini-fest; let it shine through to all the heads encumbered by the weekend’s haze of booze and festival food.

Tracy Bryant • As the frontman of the stygian punk outfit Corners, Tracy Bryant is a dark and handsome figure, one to keep away from your significant other.

But recording under his own name, his comfortablein-cardigan garage is something to bring home to your parents — if they run errands to the tune of “Sweet Jane.” Bryant’s first self-titled effort in 2014 was a quietly perfect home recording, but the LA musician upped the ante for this year’s Subterranean, delivering dark guitar pop with attitude and élan.

No Parents • Jay Reatard’s shadow looms heavy over the world of garage rock. After the 29-year-old Memphis scorcher died in 2009, many have tried to replicate his brand of garage punk, though few have come close to his talent for condensed hooks and Teenage Hate. Among the closest are LA brats No Parents, whose tunes like “Dick City” and “Die Hippy” revel in fast-paced stupidity. For a pure, unsupervised punk set, No Parents are a must-see.

Guantanamo Baywatch • As a rule, a pun for a band name sucks. As an exception to the rule, Guantanamo Baywatch is a sweet pun and pen name, bringing to mind a Hasselhoff figure jumping the razor-wire fences of America’s national disgrace to rescue an orangeclad Dick Dale from a waterboarding session. This Portland trio plays within the traditional rules of surf rock, remaining true to the backbeat and cowabunga guitar lines. They’re cool in the way that tiki drinks are currently cool: slightly corny and totally delicious.

White Lung • Despite annual growth that would excite the most anxious of businessmen, Burger cares about its artists. The label never ‘signs’ bands, letting musicians keep the rights to their work. For parties like Hangover, Oakland’s Burger Boogaloo and LA’s Burgerama, the label welcomes all sorts of bands who have never had a cartoon sandwich on their cassette spine. White Lung, a Vancouver quartet signed to Domino, is the mini-fest’s most prominent party crasher. On 2014’s Deep Fantasy, the eminent Mish Way leads the band through blistering guitar lines and diatribes against a very unfortunate subject.

Shannon and the Clams • This occult-lite, pan-rock band has more attitude in guitarist Cody Blanchard’s pencil moustache than most bands have in their entire discography. Selling out the Paper Tiger’s small room in October, the Oakland trio returns for a Sunday school lesson in doo-wop punk.

The Spits • Sloppy in form and tight in execution, The Night Beats • Every other band with a fuzz pedal Spits carry the torch of the late Johnny, Joey, Dee Dee and slaps the psych tag on their guitar cases and Tommy — sniffing glue, doing weird stuff in the Bandcamp pages, but this Seattle trio lives for basement and blasting through crunching, lickthe stuff, as it was first divined by Texas legends less punk. Year after year, the Seattle quartet Hangover Fest The 13th Floor Elevators. A beacon of shredding is a best bet on the festival bill, guaranteeing to $25 on The Black Angels’ Reverberation Appreciation Noon Sun, March 20 rip harder than the pretty young things on the Paper Tiger Society, Night Beats’ heady set is the most likely docket. If you and your date can sing along to 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. occasion for a Paper Tiger hotbox.

“All I Want,” marry each other on the spot. papertigersa.com sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 63

Fan Fair Kick-Off

The Devil Wears Prada and The World Alive

La Tropa F / The Hometown Boys LIVE RECORDING

The Gap Band

Faster Pussycat

Hellfest IV featuring Grim Reaper & HelStar

1223 E Houston St. SA, TX 78205 | www.therockboxsa.com

64

CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

Charlie Brown’s Neighborhood Bar & Grill

MUSIC

SAT

Deftones

isn’t there to say about 19 What Deftones at this point? From

a slew of singles: “Change (In the House of Flies),” “Be Quiet and Drive,” “Digital Bath,” and excellent collaborations, including one with Tool’s Maynard James Keenan in “Passenger,” Deftones remain one of rock’s most relevant and sincere groups. Through Saturday Night Wrist, Diamond Eyes and the forthcoming GORE, the Sacramento outfit continue to release a monolithic catalogue, sourced from the litany of modern frustrations (see “Minerva” and “Lucky You”), to the sensitive downward spiraling of “Romantic Dreams” and “Tempest.” Live, expect to be enveloped in an amplified wash of grandeur, featuring the dramatic breadth of Chino Moreno’s vocals and the band’s abrasive, knotted riffs. Nothing is ever too in-your-face or too unforgettable to go unnoticed. Their music ricochets between two juxtaposing modes — from violent and bludgeoning soundscapes to languid hazes facilitated by Moreno’s unabashed shrieks and seductive, feather-light timbres. Even though the band frequently ventures into Texas, don’t be tempted to miss the show at Lone Star Brewery. Sold Out, 7pm, Lone Star Brewery, 600 Lone Star Blvd. –Alejandra Ramirez

Wednesday, March 16

Acoustic Song Swap with Cody Canada and Mike McClure Two of the regions

lauded Americana pickers swap songs back and forth like old men 'round a table of dominos. Sam's Burger Joint, 7pm

Atreyu Named for the heroic tween warrior in The Neverending Story, metalcore band Atreyu have been fighting against The Nothing of cultural irrelevancy for nearly two decades. With Devil You Know, From Ashes to New, Cane Hill. Alamo City Music Hall, 6pm

Michale Graves (Ex-Misfits) and The Cutthroats The conservative former

frontman for American Psycho-era Misfits headlines a bill with local selfproclaimed “good ol’ fashioned punk band,” The Cutthroats. Limelight, 8pm

Thursday, March 17

El Conjunto Nueva Ola Much like the

Luchadors they emulate – right down to the colorful costumes and masks – El Conjunto Nueva Ola is fun, entertaining and action packed, without taking themselves too seriously. With The Altons and Grupo Frackaso. Hi-Tones, 9pm

Glitter Wizard Worshipping Satan has

never been more fun than when San Fran's Glitter Wizard recontextualize the black metal requisite and place it in a synthy Devo-inspired setting. With Death Hymn Number 9, Shrines and Dreamland. Paper Tiger, 8pm

Hibou Pronounced "eee-booo," this

one-man electro band proves the dancefloor doesn't have to be a scary

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place, even for shy, emo wallflowers.

Limelight, 9pm

Mon-Fri 2pm-6pm Specials Daily

Karaoke • Trivia Live Music

Hotzi, Over the Top, Se Tu Propio Dios and Ballgag Four of SA's rawest, most

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pissed groups break in the new, old rock bar. The Ten Eleven, 7pm

Il Volo For an Italian opera trio, Il Volo is

popular with the Tiger Beat crowd. Judging by their dark good looks, they could be dubbed the Jonas Brothers of the classical world. Majestic Theatre, 7:30pm

Tejano Music Awards Fan Fair 2016

With over 125 bands scattered across four days of fiesta and feria, this is the perfect pre-party to condition yourself for this year's Fiesta events. Market Square, Noon

Weedeater, Author & Punisher, Today is the Day Two sludgy, cerebral

institutions: the brilliantly named Weedeater and Today is the Day, who somehow manage to make Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game" brutal, share the bill with the apocalyptic hacker-core of San Diego's Author & Punisher. With Lord Dying. The Korova, 8pm

Friday, March 18

Ants The anti-pop noise of Ants belies their impressive songwriting, as does their minimal Internet presence. Some bands just want the music to speak for them.

Imagine that. With Islands & Tigers, Freebies, Salms and Porridge Fist. The Ten Eleven, 9pm

Bidi Bidi Banda: A Tribute to Selena

Although we may have won the breakfast taco war with Austin, do we have them beat on Selena tribute bands? Bidi Bidi

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THE FLAMING LIPS PUBLIC ENEMY THE REVEREND HORTON HEAT THE CHURCH THE DRUMS WILD CHILD YOUNG FATHERS THE OCTOPUS PROJECT BRIGHT LIGHT SOCIAL HOUR MOTHER FALCON JAVIER ESCOVEDO THE LAST BANDOLEROS FEA JOE KING CARRASCO THE HAWKS OF HOLY ROSARY THE LOST PROJECT BUTTERCUP THE DEER RAS G YOSHIMOTO POCHOS CHIDOS BRIGHT LIKE THE SUN DJ ELY BAT CALICO CLUB DJ JJ LOPEZ JONNY GRAY DJ JESTER THE FILIPINO FIST ALYSON ALONZO DJ B.C. THE RED LEGS CANNIBAL BITCH CHULITA VINYL CLUB GHOSTPIZZA dj tear drop DJ ERNEST GONZALES & DIEGO BERNAL THE LUCKY ODDS SnOWBYRD

MAVERICK PARTIES! 3/15 @ 502 BAR - THAO AND THE GET DOWN STAY DOWN 3/21 @ LIMELIGHT – UNWRITTEN LAW, FENIX 4/1 @ FRANK ON SOUTH ALAMO – FIRST FRIDAY PRE-PARTY W/ SPECIAL GUEST 4/8 @ 502 BAR - THE CAVE SINGERS 4/8 @ PHANTOM ROOM – GHOSTPIZZA 4/8 @ HI-TONES – SEXTO SO 4/9 @ THE MIX - SONS OF HERCULES 4/9 @ SAM’S – HYDRA MELODY, CARLTON ZEUS 4/10 @ PAPER TIGER – MAVERICK BRUNCh W/ SPECIAL GUEST!

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CURRENT • March 16—22, 2016 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

Banda makes the case for our neighbor to the north. Aztec Theatre, 7pm

Glassjaw Even if all your hardcore friends dug Glassjaw – "Dude, they toured with American Nightmare" – it doesn't make them more than whiny Deftones-lite, to me. With Silver Snakes, Dance like Robots. Alamo City Music Hall, 7pm

The Grasshopper Lies Heavy Local

this show. Come yell out "Oscar loves Jorge" and solidify it into Tejano history.

The Rock Box, 7pm

Luciano Live and direct from Kingston,

Jamaica, 2015 Grammy nominee, The Kabala Man ... The MessenJah! ...

Luciano! With Likkle Shanx and Dub Gideon. One Drop Reggae Shop and Juice Bar, 9pm

sludge instrumentalists TGLH prove why they have an ever-growing international fanbase. With Bummer and Cosmic Behemoth. Paper Tiger, 8pm

Nightwish Finnish symphonic metal

Leon Russell Don't miss the snow-white-

Noche Azul: Cantoras del Sur Azul

haired musical legend who has played with and impressed everyone worth playing with and recently had new life breathed into his phenomenal career by friend and collaborator Elton John.

Luckenbach Dancehall, 6pm

Saturday, March 19

A Night of SRV: A Tribute to Stevie Ruben V, Will Owen Gage, Jimmy Spacek and more pay pentatonic tribute to the Texas blues legend. Sam's Burger Joint, 6pm

Hip-hop 4 Flint Score some Karma points and do what numerous politicians have been unable or unwilling to do: help the folks, whose jobs they previously sent overseas, get potable water. With Greg G & DJ King Mike, Third Root, Ernesto Gonzalez, Diego Bernal and more. Co Lab, 8pm

Johnny Bush & the Bandoleros The

"Country Caruso" that penned Williefavorite "Whiskey River" proves that he's still got the chops. John T. Floore's Country Store, 7pm

K Phillips On American Girls, K. Phillips

spits out snarling tales of Southern rock ‘n’ roll. Don't miss the prodigal son as he returns from Nashville on tour. With Elise Davis, Aaron Lee Tasjan. 502 Bar, 9pm

La Tropa F & The Hometown Boys

14-time Grammy award winner Gilbert Velasquez will be at the boards recording

band Nightwish bridge the gap between Trans-Siberian Orchestra and ABBA. With Delain. Aztec Theatre, 6:30pm Barrientos will pay tribute to Mercedes Sosa, Violeta Parra and Soledad Bravo, South American folk singers and activists. Esperanza Peace & Justice Center, 8pm

Sunday, March 20

Fall Out Boy Go down, down with

the aught-purveyors of MTV-emo.

With Awolnation and Pvris. Freeman Coliseum, 7pm

Herman’s Hermits Starring Peter Noone Mancunian beat band Herman's Hermits had hits with playschool pop classics "I'm Into Something Good," "Mrs. Brown, You've Got a lovely Daughter" and "I'm Henry the Eighth, I Am." Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 7pm

Monday, March 21

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MC Lars Self-described as a "true player

for real," MC Lars plays post-punk laptop rap. If nothing else, dude is a nut. With Mega Ran and Bitforce. The Korova, 7pm

APR 2 - CODY JOHNSON PLUS KYLE PARK & MIKE RYAN

Unwritten Law SoCal pop punkers

Unwritten Law play an intimate set with Blink 182-fave and coattail riders Fenix Tx. Limelight, 8pm

Tuesday, March 22

Short Leash You've heard of punk rock.

See how she's doing with these snotty whine-os. With Glaasss, Detonate and Sudden Attack. Hi-Tones, 9pm

502 Bar 502 Embassy Oaks, (210) 257-8125, 502bar.com Alamo City Music Hall 1305 E. Houston St., alamocitymusichall.com Aztec Theatre 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com Co Lab 231 E. Houston St., (210) 901-9902, facebook.com/colab.satx Esperanza Peace & Justice Center 922 San Pedro Ave., (210) 228-0201, esperanzacenter.org Freeman Coliseum 3201 E. Houston St., (210) 226-1177, freemancoliseum. com Hi-Tones 621 E. Dewey Pl., (210) 573-6220, hitonessa.com John T. Floore’s Country Store 14492 Old Bandera Road, (210) 695-8827, liveatfloores.com Limelight 2718 N. St. Mary’s St., thelimelightsa.com Luckenbach Dancehall 412 Luckenbach Town Loop, (830) 997-3224, lukenbachtexas.com Majestic Theatre 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-5700, majesticempire.com Market Square 514 W. Commerce St., (210) 207-8600, marketsquaresa. com One Drop Reggae Shop and Juice Bar 8800 Broadway #8816, (210) 481-4604, onedropsa.com Paper Tiger 2410 N. St Mary’s St., papertigersa.com Sam’s Burger Joint 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint. com The Korova 107 E. Martin St., (210) 226-5070, thekorova.com The Rock Box 1223 E. Houston St., (210) 2799430, 210kapones.com The Ten Eleven 1011 Avenue B, (210) 320-9080, theteneleven.com Tobin Center for the Performing Arts 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org

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You messed up in your response to THINK, the man whose wife wanted to engage in consensual role-play rape scenes despite having been sexually assaulted by a previous partner who didn’t stop “when she said ‘no.’” THINK said he worried “the same thing could happen” to him. Due to some ambiguous wording, you thought he doubted his wife’s account and was worried the “same thing” he was worried about was “being falsely accused of rape.” I think he was actually worried about accidentally making his wife relive that trauma in a non-sexy way. Although it was poorly worded, I don’t think his intentions were motivated by the fear of being falsely accused. His worries were based in the ambiguity of when does consensual rape play cross the line in this very delicate scenario.

The other thing you forgot, the most important thing you forgot, the thing that should never be forgotten when talking about rough-sex role-play, consensual rape scenes, power exchange, bondage, or SM: a SAFE WORD! Simple And Frequently Effective Word Omitted Recently, Dan! THINK’s wife told him she was raped by an ex who refused to stop when she said no, SAFEWORD, and here’s how THINK described his concerns: “I’m over here wondering if her previous trauma was a result of her encouraging forceful sex and regretting it later, and I worry the same thing could happen to me.”

[Emphasis added.] Awkwardly worded, yes, but THINK’s meaning seems clear: He didn’t want to go for it, like that other guy may have, and be accused of raping his wife if she came to regret it later. That doesn’t seem ambiguous to me.

But you’re right to ding me for failing to advise Mr. and Mrs. THINK to agree on a safe word. And I didn’t just leave “get a safe word” out of my response,

SAFEWORD. It was worse than that: I deleted “get a safe word” from my response. There were two very similar paragraphs in the original draft of my response to THINK, both on the mechanics of making it happen, and I had to delete one paragraph for space.

In an unbelievably stupid move, I deleted the one with “get a safe word” in it. I should’ve caught that, I didn’t, and I’m grateful to SAFEWORD and everyone else who did.

And remember, kids: We have a new universal kink/BDSM/power-exchange safe word: scalia.

I am the only liberal in my family.

I love them, but there is no talking to them on the issues. I have come up with the idea of a Planned Parenthood jar. It is like a swear jar, but I will put money in it when I am too chickenshit or conflict-avoidant to have a hard conversation. Every time one of my family members puts up a stupid, ill-informed article on Facebook and I don’t say anything, I will put money in the jar. Any time they tell me why Hillary Clinton is the devil, I will put money in the jar.

It will assuage my guilt and make those moments easier because I can smugly think: “Keep talking, the only one you are helping is Planned Parenthood.” Is this a cop-out or a narrowly tailored, appropriate penance?

Fearful And Milquetoast, I’m Leaning Yellow Can’t something be a cop-out and a creative, appropriate penance? But whether it’s one or the other or both, FAMILY, I’m strongly in favor of anything that benefits Planned Parenthood. For those who don’t want to go through the motions of filling a jar with money before making a donation, just go to plannedparenthood.org and click Donate. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): Artist Steven Spasuk works exclusively with an unusual medium: soot from candles and torches. He spreads the stuff across a blank canvas, then uses various instruments to sculpt the accidental blobs into definitive forms. I’ve seen the results, and they’re both well-done and intriguing. What would be the metaphorical equivalent, in your world, of using soot to make beautiful and interesting things? I think you’re primed to turn waste into building blocks, rot into splendor, and lead into gold. (See Spazuk’s work at spazuk.com.)

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): Carl Sagan said that science thrives on “two seemingly contradictory attitudes: an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre or counterintuitive, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny of all ideas, old and new.” Whether or not you are a scientist, Taurus, I recommend that you practice this approach in the coming weeks. It’s the tool that’s most likely to keep you centered and free of both rigidity and illusion. As Sagan concluded, this is “how deep truths are winnowed from deep nonsense.”

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): “Excess on occasion is exhilarating,” said British author W. Somerset Maugham. “It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.” Now would be an excellent time to take that advice to heart, Gemini. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you not only have a license to engage in rowdy fun and extravagant pleasures; it’s your sacred duty. So get out there and treat yourself to an orgy of naughty adventures — or at least a celebration of meaningful thrills. You can return to the rigors of discipline and order once you have harvested the healthy benefits that will come from escaping them.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): At one point in Friedrich Nietzsche’s book Thus Spoke Zarathustra, the hero is having a conversation with himself. “You have wanted to pet every monster,” he says. “A whiff of warm breath, a little soft tuft on the paw — and at once you were ready to love and to lure it.” If I were you, Cancerian, I would regard that type of behavior as forbidden in the coming weeks. In fact, I will ask you not to pet any monsters at all — not even the cute ones; not even the beasties and rascals and imps that have slight resemblances to monsters. It’s time for maximum discernment and caution. (P.S.: One of the monsters may ultimately become a non-monstrous ally if you are wary toward it now.)

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): On a social media site, I posted the following quote from self-help teacher Byron Katie: “Our job is

unconditional love. The job of everyone else in our life is to push our buttons.” One commenter took issue with this. “’Pushing buttons’ is a metaphor that’s long past its expiration date,” she wrote. “Can’t you come up with something fresher?” So I did. Here are a few potential substitutes for “push our buttons”: “tweak our manias” . . . “prank our obsessions” . . . “glitterbomb our biases” . . . “squeeze our phobias” . . . “badger our compulsions” . . . “seduce our repressions” . . . “prick our dogmas.”

Whichever expression you prefer, Leo, find a graceful way to embrace your fate: Your current job is unconditional love. The job of everyone else in your life is to tweak your manias and prick your dogmas.

You may now be ready to explore and appreciate sweeter, subtler pleasures.

should now find where the cracks are, and let them teach you how to proceed from here.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21):

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18):

“The poems I have loved the most are those I have understood the least,” said T. S. Eliot. I’m going to steal and expand upon his idea for the purpose of giving you an accurate horoscope.

In the coming days, Sagittarius, I suspect that the experiences you love most will be those that you understand the least. Indeed, the experiences you NEED the most will be those that surprise and mystify and intrigue you.

Luckily, life will be ingenious in bypassing your analytical intelligence so as to provide you with rich emotional stimuli for your soul.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): In the

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19):

“We all lead three lives,” said Austrian novelist Thomas Bernhard, “an actual one, an imaginary one, and the one we are not aware of.” I suspect you’ll get big glimpses of your third life in the coming weeks, Aquarius: the one you’re normally not aware of. It might freak you out a bit, maybe unleash a few blasts of laughter and surges of tears. But if you approach these revelations with reverent curiosity, I bet they will be cleansing and catalytic. They are also likely to make you less entranced by your imaginary life and better grounded in your actual life.

coming weeks, you will have maximum power to revise and reinvigorate your approach to cultivating intimate relationships. To aid your quest, I offer this paraphrased advice from Andrew Boyd: Almost every one of us seeks a special partner who is just right. But there is no right person, just different flavors of wrong.

Why? Because you yourself are “wrong” in some ways — you have demons and flaws and problems. In fact, these “wrongs” are essential components of who you are. When you ripen into this understanding, you’re ready to find and be with your special counterpart.

He or she has the precise set of problems you need — is the person who is wrong for you in just the right ways. (See Boyd’s original quote: tinyurl.com/boydquote.)

Capricorn painter Henri Matisse made the following testimony about his creative process: “At each stage I reach a balance, a conclusion. At the next sitting, if I find that there is a weakness in the whole, I make my way back into the picture by means of the weakness — I re-enter through the breach — and I reconceive the whole. Thus everything becomes fluid again.” I recommend this approach to you in the coming days, Capricorn.

You’ve been making decent progress on your key project. To keep up the good work, you

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): “The greatest illusion is not religion,” says aphorist Michael Lipsey. “It’s waking up in the morning imagining how much you’re going to get done today.” But even if that’s often true, Pisces, I suspect that you have the power to refute it in the coming weeks. Your ability to accomplish small wonders will be at a peak. Your knack for mastering details and acting with practical acumen may be unprecedented. For the immediate future, then, I predict that you’ll largely be able to get done what you imagine you can get done.

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): In her book The Winter Vault, Anne Michaels says, “We become ourselves when things are given to us or when things are taken away.” If she’s right, does it mean we should be grateful for those times when things are taken away? Should we regard moments of loss as therapeutic prods that compel us to understand ourselves better and to create ourselves with a fiercer determination?

Meditate on these possibilities, Libra. In the meantime, I’m pleased to announce that the things-getting-taken-away period of your cycle is winding down. Soon you’ll begin a new phase, when you can become a deeper, stronger version of yourself because of the things that are given to you.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): “I’ll make love when the lust subsides,” sings Denitia, one-half of the electro-pop band Denitia and Sene.

That would be a good motto for you to play around with in the coming days, Scorpio — in both literal and metaphorical ways. I’ll enjoy seeing how your emotional intelligence ripens as the white-hot passion of recent weeks evolves into a more manageable warmth. As fun as the intensity has been, it has blinded you to some of the possibilities for collaborative growth that have been emerging.

sacurrent.com • March 16—22, 2016 • CURRENT 73

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