San Antonio Current - June 1, 2016

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To purchase tickets Online, visit: www.TobinCenter.org Or call the the Box Office at (210) 223-8624 Tobin Center Box Office | 100 Auditorium Circle, San Antonio, TX 78205

sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 3

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4 CURRENT • June 1—7, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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San Antonio Current Publisher: Michael Wagner Associate Publisher: Lara Fischer

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6 CURRENT • June 1—7, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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/SanAntonioTheater sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 7

IN THIS

FIRST WORDS

1

ISSUE

On “Thank Goodness, Mary Lou Bruner Won’t Sit on the State Board of Education” // Jimmy Davis: i think the only issue you have with her is when she stated “christian” in her comments…… must be great to be such a hypocrite. [sic]

Issue 16_22 /// June 1 – June 7

10

On “Let’s Hope Texas AG Ken Paxton’s Latest Lawsuit Gets Flushed Right Down the Toilet” // Tony R. Elliott: This shouldn’t even be an issue, just use the damn restroom suited to your biological sex, regardless of what sex you identify with.

NEWS

Newsmonger Won’t somebody think of the children? // Reign in Spain // Just felt like run-ning

Heather Renee: Thanks for proving exactly why this needs to be an issue.

On “Video Shows Ex-Civil Rights Attorney Dumped Out of Wheelchair” // John Dyer: Then he uses his perfectly capable legs to kick the officer. I don’t see the big deal [sic] Vincent Ramirez: anyone that has had any experience with the law here knows that they are cruel and contemptible. from shooting unarmed innocent people to throwing children like linebackers. [sic] • Send your thoughts, comments or kudos to letters@sacurrent.com

14

CALENDAR

Our top picks for the week

SCREENS

Dick in a Box Office Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping skewers the world of pop, as expected

ARTS + CULTURE

America Through a Funhouse Mirror

The McNay brings “Coney Island” to light in all its gritty glory

Statewide Showdown San Antonio’s compromise with Lyft, Uber could influence potential law

25

20

23

A Silent Problem The realities of adult illiteracy

27

FOOD

The Brunch Elves How your brunch comes together every Sunday morning

37

NIGHTLIFE

Bottoms Up Mimosas all around!

Bottle & Tap What to drink this summer

Brunches We Love 11 egg-filled spots for every mood

41

27

20

MUSIC

Embed with the Band Femina-X: music for impeccable warriors One of Twelve Is one month celebrating black contributions to American music reductive or redemptive?

Muscle and Soul The electric hymns of Heavy Glow Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

8 CURRENT • June 1—7, 2016 • sacurrent.com

58

ETC.

Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology This Modern World

ON THE

COVER Our abbreviated guide to the best spots in town for chasing those hangover blues (and those ill-conceived shots from the night before) away.

Photo by Liz Warburton Art direction by Rick Fisher and Sarah Flood-Baumann

sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 9

NEWS

ACFI

BEXAR-O-METER Checking the temperature of events in Bexar County and beyond

NEWSMONGER Won’t Somebody Think of the Children? // Reign in Spain // Just Felt Like Run-ning Won’t Somebody Think of the Children Last year, the Texas State Board of Education took heat for approving a history textbook that referred to slaves as “workers.” This year, the board will consider a Mexican-American studies textbook that says Chicano activists in the Civil Rights era were trying to topple the United States in the name of communism.

“Chicanos, on the other hand, adopted a revolutionary narrative that opposed Western civilization and wanted to destroy this society,” the text states.

The book — called Mexican American Heritage — is published by Momentum Instruction, which is owned by Cynthia Dunbar, a Republican and former board member who has made headlines over the years by trying to force religion and free enterprise into curriculum.

Emilio Zamora, a University of Texas at Austin professor of MexicanAmerican history told the Huffington Post that — at first glance — the book has serious flaws.

“In instances where it can be verified, I’ll applaud,” Zamora told HuffPost. “In instances where it cannot be verified, 10 CURRENT • June 1—7, 2016 • sacurrent.com

SA Kid Makes National Bee Final Alex Iyer’s a good spelllur

MICHAEL MARKS + MARK REAGAN

then I will be critical. Our children deserve historical writing that can be verified by the current scholarly literature.”

Expect lots of criticism from folks like Zamora when the board considers approving the textbook later this year.

Reign in Spain Las Palmas is beautiful this time of year, don’t you agree?

Yeah, I don’t know either. Never been.

But Mayor Ivy Taylor has. She led a sizable delegation from San Antonio to Spain and the Canary Islands last week. Taylor met with officials such as the Spanish secretary of foreign affairs and the mayor of Madrid, and delivered an address at the Cervantes Institute in Madrid.

She was joined by dozens of members of the San Antonio Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, which led the trip, as well as City Council members Roberto Treviño, Alan Warrick, Rebecca Viagran, Shirley Gonzales and Ray Lopez. Spouses of some chamber and council members also made the trip.

Two of San Antonio’s nine sister cities are in the Canary Islands: Las Palmas and Santa Cruz de Tenerife. The goal of the trip is to strengthen economic and cultural ties between San Antonio and various Spanish cities.

Just Felt Like Run-ning The people have spoken. Again. A few of them, at least.

Runoff elections last week tilted in favor of Barbara Gervin-Hawkins, running

to replace Ruth Jones McClendon in the 120th District of the Texas House of Representatives, and Javier Salazar, who’s now the Democratic nominee for Bexar County sheriff.

Gervin-Hawkins, nonprofit executive and sister of The Iceman himself, George Gervin, bested Mario Salas, an educator and longtime community activist. With no Republican in the race, GervinHawkins will succeed McClendon, who represented the city’s East Side in the House for almost two decades.

Salazar beat veteran lawman Andy Lopez in a landslide victory. Lopez, who ran as a Democrat, promptly endorsed Sheriff Susan Pamerleau after the runoff ended. Salazar and Pamerleau will face off in November. Lopez also hinted on his Facebook page at running as an independent candidate in November.

Turnout for the runoff election in Bexar County was just under 3 percent.

Outside the realm of San Antonio, but relieving nonetheless, was the defeat of Mary Lou Bruner, the state school board candidate who you’ll recall for her Facebook diatribes.

Bruner made national news for claiming, among other things, that President Barack Obama prostituted himself to buy drugs, that dinosaurs died in a Biblical flood and that climate change is a communist conspiracy theory.

Bruner lost, but still picked up over 25,000 votes for the Northeast Texas seat – good enough for almost 40 percent of the vote. Yikes

Rideshare Roundtables Let’s hope politicos listen HOV Lanes Approved A better commute on 281?

New Federal Courthouse Coming to SA $135 million approved for project SAFC Hits the Road Soccer club out of town until June 18 Ken Paxton Sues Feds over Bathroom Policy Transphobia reigns over AG office Baylor Sexual Assaults Football coach axed

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sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 11

NEWS

STATEWIDE SHOWDOWN

San Antonio’s compromise with Lyft, Uber could influence potential law MARK REAGAN | @210REAGAN

In 2015, while both Uber and Lyft tangled with San Antonio City Council and the traditional vehicle-for-hire industry over local regulations, an attempt to legislate rules at the state level for transportation network companies fizzled.

Both companies ceased operations in San Antonio last year and then returned again, operating under a 9-month pilot program where fingerprint background checks, which Lyft and Uber fiercely oppose, were optional.

Meanwhile, the companies are fighting similar battles with other cities in Texas, like Austin and Houston, both of which require fingerprint background checks for drivers.

“It’s important that we move forward and set the example,” City Councilman Roberto Treviño, who helped forge the compromise between the City and the transportation network companies, said during a May 18 Governance Committee meeting. “And I think we’re about to for the entire state and possibly the entire country.”

Right now, Treviño and his staff are gathering feedback from two public roundtables held last month and will combine that with rideshare data from the San Antonio Police Department, before presenting to City Council during a B-session — after that, the pilot program will go to City Council for a vote.

Treviño’s comment followed a national spectacle in the state capital that may set the stage next year for a statewide showdown over how transportation network companies are regulated. On May 7, Austin voters defeated Proposition 1, which would have eased strict regulations on Lyft and Uber, prompting the companies to stop operating, just like they previously did in San Antonio.

However, this fingerprint fight is far from over. Unlike the 2015 Legislature — when a proposal to impose statewide regulations on the companies, which would effectively take regulatory power away from city governments, failed to gain traction — the 2017 Legislature will likely try again, but this time, there’s way more support, most vocally from Republicans.

“The issue’s not over,” Governor Greg Abbott promised during an interview on CNBC after the Austin vote, as reported by The Texas Tribune. “Republicans in the Texas Legislature have already raised proposals coming up in the next session to override the Austin vote.”

Abbott was referring to Republican Senator Charles Schwertner, of Georgetown, who reignited statewideregulation efforts by promising to bring a proposal to the Legislature when it convenes next January.

12 CURRENT • June 1—7, 2016 • sacurrent.com

Those proposals, however, would also supersede San Antonio’s compromise, which is working.

But Schwertner says he’s taken note of San Antonio’s pilot program.

“We’re not reinventing the wheel here. There are 30 states that have statutes that are statewide, and there are a lot of good ordinances put forth by a variety of municipalities [across the country],” he said, mentioning the Alamo City. “I’m here for all ideas to fashion the policy for Texas ridesharing.”

When asked whether his proposal would include mandatory fingerprinting, Schwertner said he felt there might be a way to make it optional.

“We want to make sure that it’s a necessary component, first of all,” Schwertner said. “[Fingerprint background checks] may not be as effective as some say.”

Texas House Rep. Diego Bernal, who represents an urban slice of San Antonio ranging from Castle Hills to the Downtown area, said he’s open to a conversation about statewide regulation. Bernal sits on the House Urban Affairs committee, which may consider any proposal brought to the House of Representatives.

“I think the beautiful thing about the local ordinance, what they’ve done here, is it is putting it in the hands of the consumer,” Bernal said. “And no matter what, whatever is proposed in Austin, the sweet spot and the fair way to do it is to figure something out for the consumer to make an informed decision.”

However, Bernal is quick to say he doesn’t have a solution. He’s just ready for the conversation.

“You have to be dynamic and adaptive. What we have here is a great response to issues that have arisen, and I’m proud of the way that the City, and particularly the way my councilman, Treviño, handled it,” Bernal said. “At the very least, San Antonio has a model that can work.”

But he will tread with caution when it comes to

Republican-backed proposals for statewide regulation of ride-share, because in 2017, there’s likely much more on the table regarding state control vs. local control than transportation network companies.

“I think we have to be careful. … I have no interest in being a part of this sort of conservative wave to eliminate local control for cities,” Bernal said, explaining there could be efforts to do away with non-discrimination ordinances. “We already saw the elimination of fracking bans [in Denton in 2015]. So, all of a sudden, being Big Brother is front and center in the conservative playbook. I don’t want to contribute to that.”

When asked about Schwertner’s proposal, Treviño said he believed in local control.

“We believe we crafted a way to allow innovation to exist while empowering communities to have a choice,” Treviño said via email from Spain, where he is on a trade delegation with Mayor Ivy Taylor and City Council. “We think this model could serve any community that wishes to employ the basic premise of our agreement. We will share the agreement with any community so they may tailor it to their own specific requirements.”

But, with a patchwork of local ordinances regulating transportation network companies around the state and Uber and Lyft battling it out with cities over fingerprint background checks, some consistency is needed for consumers, drivers and the companies.

As Bernal notes, finding the solution is necessary because there are real people this conflict affects.

“I think what’s lost in the conversation that should be front and center is that one, it’s an important transportation option to the people that use it and two, these are real jobs that help people make ends meet and put food on the table,” Bernal said. mreagan@sacurrent.com

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sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 13

CALENDAR

TODD COOPER

FRI

3

Coney Island at the McNay SPECIAL EVENT

While its sideshow banners, seascapes and carousel critters already offer a virtual trip to the legendary landmark, the McNay’s “Coney Island” exhibit is sure to spring to life in living color for this festive fundraiser.

Benefiting the museum’s education, exhibition and conservation efforts, the spring fling treats guests to Coney Island-inspired cocktails and cuisine and tempts them with a top-notch silent auction. Dressed in their “boardwalk best,” attendees can also roam the grounds to find big-top feats ranging from aerial and contortion acts to fire spinners and stilt walkers. $100, 7pmmidnight, McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368, mcnayart.org. – Bryan Rindfuss

14 CURRENT • June 1—7, 2016 • sacurrent.com

FRI

3

Pan’s Labyrinth FILM

As part of the their Film on the Green outdoor series, SAMA is screening Mexican director/writer Guillermo del Toro’s critically acclaimed 2006 Spanish language fairy tale set on the backdrop of the post-Spanish Civil War. The dark fantasy follows a young girl named Ofelia as she steps into a mythical garden maze where she meets a host of magical creatures, including a mysterious faun who guides her. Pan’s Labyrinth won three Academy Awards for cinematography, art direction and makeup. In 2007, del Toro told the San Antonio Current he had a “childlike enthusiasm for monsters.” $5-$10, 8:30pm, San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave., (210) 978-8100, samuseum.org. – Kiko Martínez

FRI

3

Gogol Bordello MUSIC

Gogol Bordello, the stage persona of actor and musician Eugene Hütz, is the type of guy you’d hope to run into at a hostel or debaucherous foreign party and pray to never see in the daylight. Now a festival favorite, Hütz took the gypsy-punk name from Ukrainian novelist Nikolai Gogol and the Italian word for a brothel, representing the band’s cross-cultural mashup of high and low. Almost 20 years into the project, Hütz and his world-is-flat party band have been featured at the Tate Modern in London, the Whitney in New York and countless flophouse bashes. With Frank Turner and the Sleeping Souls. $30-$39.50, 8pm, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com. – Matt Stieb

SAT

4

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros MUSIC

They may be the musical equivalent of a wide-brim Urban Outfitters hat, but don’t count out folk-pop big band Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Since their 2010 mega-hit “Home,” bandleader Alex Ebert has released three decent records, founded a nonprofit for urban co-ops and won a Golden Globe for soundtracking the Robert Redford vehicle All Is Lost. Named after their historic home in the French Quarter, supporting act Preservation Hall Jazz Band plays the riotous, bourbon-stinking street music of New Orleans, derived from the style of Buddy Bolden and Louis Armstrong. $23.10-$879.45, 7:30pm, Whitewater Amphitheater, 11860 FM 306, New Braunfels, (830) 964-3800, whitewaterrocks.com. – MS

CALENDAR

MICHAEL MARTINEZ SAT

4

‘Profiling Made Visible’ ART

After a swell exhibition showcasing years of book design by Wings Press guru Bryce Milligan, Bihl Haus Arts invites you to celebrate the opening of “Profiling Made Visible: The Art of Mark Anthony Martinez and Michael Martinez.” As brothers who grew up on San Anto’s South Side, both Mark Anthony and Michael faced struggles when they arrived in Oregon for art school, suddenly becoming minorities. The video, photography, installation and performance work in this exhibit highlights that struggle, as well as the discrimination Michael has met as a result of identifying as queer. Free, 5:30-8:30pm, Bihl Haus Arts, 2803 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 383-9723, bihlhausarts.org. – James Courtney

SAT

4

Sheila E .

MUSIC

Music is the lifeblood of drummer and singer Sheila E.’s family — perhaps that’s why she dropped her surname to make a run at stardom. Her father and uncle, Peter and Coke Escovedo, are career percussionists for Santana and founded the big band Azteca, while her uncle is San Anto legend Alejandro Escovedo. Oh, and she was engaged to Prince when she played on some of the sex god’s best records. Leading her own band, Sheila E. knocked out a few classic singles (“A Love Bizarre” and “The Glamorous Life”) that blended freestyle rhythms and deliciously cheesy ’80s pop. $35, 8pm, Carver Community Cultural Center, Jo Long Theatre, 226 N. Hackberry St., (210) 207-7211, thecarver.org – MS

SUN

5

Tex Pop Turns 4 SPECIAL EVENT

This Sunday, the rad South Texas Popular Culture Center (Tex Pop) is celebrating four years of promoting our rich local arts history, especially with regards to music. As part of their daylong celebration, there will be a screening of Sir Doug & the Genuine Texas Cosmic Groove (which chronicles the life and work of Texas music legend Doug Sahm), a new exhibit of photographs by Joel Aparicio and music from Rosie Flores with Mitch Webb and the Swindles. The event provides a fine time for us to reflect on the things that bring us together as Texans. $20 suggested donation, noon-7pm, South Texas Popular Culture Center, 1017 E. Mulberry Ave., (210) 792-1312, stpcc.org.

– JC

SUN

5

Part Time MUSIC

Fitting for a venue named after a fragrance from Tom Robbins’ 1984 cult classic Jitterbug Perfume, K23 plays host to San Francisco’s Part Time — a band trafficking in a synth-driven sound Vice likened to something “straight from London in 1984.” Launched in the late ’90s “as a diversion” for multiinstrumentalist/vocalist David Speck (aka Davida Loca) and later rounded out as a full band with ties to both Burger Records and Mexican Summer, the lo-fi outfit mines a dreamy, experimental territory reminiscent of Ariel Pink and Mac Demarco. Also on the bill: Spirit Stuff and Hidden Ritual. $7, 5-8pm, K23, 702 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 776-5635, k23gallery.wix.com/k23tx.

– BR

sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 15

Visions of an American Dreamland, 1861–2008

On view through September 11, 2016

CELEBRATING THE MOST ICONIC, UNIQUELY AMERICAN AMUSEMENT PARK

This exhibition was organized by the Wadsworth Atheneum Museum of Art, Hartford, Connecticut. Coney Island: Visions of an American Dreamland, 1861–2008 has been generously funded by the National Endowment for the Humanities: Celebrating 50 Years of Excellence, the Henry Luce Foundation, and The Mr. and Mrs. Raymond J. Horowitz Foundation for the Arts, Inc. Reginald Marsh, Wooden Horses (detail), 1936, tempera on board, Wadsworth Atheneum Museum of Art, Hartford, Connecticut, The Dorothy Clark Archibald and Thomas L. Archibald Fund, The Krieble Family Fund for American Art, The American Paintings Purchase Fund, and The Ella Gallup Sumner and Mary Catlin Sumner Collection Fund, 2013.1.1. © 2016 Estate of Reginald Marsh / Art Students League, New York / Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York

6000 North New Braunfels San Antonio, Texas 78209-0069 mcnayart.org

16 CURRENT • June 1—7, 2016 • sacurrent.com

CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

FRI

As the City of San Antonio continues its quest to get more artsy, we all win, as we get to enjoy more and more delightful exhibitions/installations in public spaces. One such exhibition is the Department for Culture and Creative Development’s “Compositions in Space: Architectural Interventions,” on view through June 24. The unique exhibit features installations by six artists in the Creative Commons Exhibit Hall at Plaza de Armas. Each of these installations reimagines the architectural space in which it exists, highlighting some elements, obscuring others, and generally challenging the viewer to consider our interactions with (and expectations of) the spaces we inhabit and move through. On Friday, for a special treat, check out the Lunch and Learn event, which will feature a panel discussion, including some of the artists as well as Irby Hightower of Alamo Architects, moderated by Councilman Roberto Treviño.

Attendees are asked to RSVP at culturecommons@sanantonio.gov and box lunches will be available for only $5. Free, noon-1pm, Culture Commons, 115 Plaza de Armas, getcreativesanantonio.com. — James Courtney

Art

“Mathletics” The DoSeum unveils a new

summer exhibit designed to get kids moving and exploring mathematical concepts like ratio, proportion and scale. $11-$12, 9am-6pm Saturday, noon-5pm Sunday, 10am-5pm Monday-Tuesday; The DoSeum, 2800 Broadway, (210) 212-4453.

”Maya: Hidden Worlds Revealed” The

Witte debuts its sprawling new Mays Family Center with the Texas premiere of “Maya: Hidden Worlds Revealed.” Suitable for archaeology buffs of all ages, the immersive exhibition combines interactive displays with a plethora of artifacts (more than 200) to educate visitors on the civilization’s major cultural accomplishments (including its famous calendar system) and provide a glimpse into the lives of ancient Mayans via authentic examples of both everyday objects and finely crafted works of art. $15-$20, 10am-5pm Wednesday-Saturday, noon-5pm Sunday, 10am-5pm Monday, 10am-8pm Tuesday; Witte Museum, 3801 Broadway, (210) 357-1900.

Mini Display on Alan Turing As part of

its Pride month programming, Memorial Branch Library displays a small exhibit of books and photos highlighting the life and work of English mathematician and cryptographer Alan Turing. Best known for breaking the Nazi Enigma code during World War II, Turing was convicted of “indecency” after being outed as gay at a time when homosexuality was considered a crime.

Free, 10am-6pm Wednesday, noon-8pm Thursday, 10am-6pm Friday-Monday, noon8pm Tuesday; Memorial Branch Library, 3222 Culebra Road, (210) 207-9140.

Theater

A Chorus Line In 1975, A Chorus Line

marked a turning point for Broadway — it’s one of the first shows to broach homosexuality — and paved the way for other groundbreakers like Rent. Set at a dance audition, the musical spotlights the individuality of dancers vying to become part of a homogeneous chorus.

This contrast demonstrates that even the background players have struggles and dreams, and the show as a whole is a cathartic experience for the audience and performers alike. Tim Hedgepeth directs The Playhouse’s production. $12$30, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday; The Playhouse, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258.

A Wolverine Walks into a Bar... Writer and performer Jaston Williams, best known for his work with Joe Sears on a popular series of off-kilter comedies set in mythical Tuna, Texas, returns to The Classic to reprise his latest collection of monologues. Subtitled Conversations Over Ice, his curiously named A Wolverine Walks into a Bar... nods to San Antonio stories and conversations in bars, where “tongues tend to loosen and the memories bubble up.” Back by popular demand for two weekends only, this expanded version adds new characters to a mix that includes a gun-toting Mary Kay saleswoman and an aging Auntie Mame clone. $20, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday; The Classic Theatre of San Antonio, 1924 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 589-8450.

One Man, Two Guvnors Richard Bean’s

knockabout comedy One Man, Two Guvnors invites theater-goers to 1960s-era England

SAT

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San Antonio Family Pride Fair

Launched last year with a goal to celebrate San Antonio’s diversity, provide opportunities for families to learn about LGBTQ programs and services, and support the health and well-being of the community, San Antonio Family Pride Fair kicks off Pride month within the colorful confines of Market Square. A joint effort between Center City Development, Metro Health and others, the inaugural event brought hundreds to the west end of Downtown for a day filled with live music, festival fare and familyoriented activities. In addition to informational booths manned by reps from dozens of LGBTQ organizations, year two promises a spirited performance by the 50-plus-member Pride of San Antonio Showband, fourpart harmonies from the Live Oak Singers and Latin jams courtesy of local outfit Geno, handcrafted wares for purchase from the SA Queer Collective, food booths (offering gorditas, churros, raspas and other favorites), plus a Family Fun Zone provided by Parks and Recreation. Free, 11am-7pm, Market Square, 514 W. Commerce St., (210) 2078600, getcreativesanantonio.com. — Bryan Rindfuss

to meet Francis Henshall, a hapless fool who gets himself simultaneously employed by two bosses — a local gangster and a highclass criminal. What could possibly go wrong? $16-$22, 7:30pm Thursday, 8pm Saturday, 2:30pm Sunday; Sheldon Vexler Theatre, 12500 NW Military Hwy., (210) 302-6835.

The Wizard of Oz Based on L. Frank Baum’s

fantastical children’s novel and first adapted for the stage in 1902, The Wizard of Oz found an extravagant new life through the Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice collaboration landing at The Majestic via Broadway in San Antonio. Closely following the 1939 Technicolor gem that turned Judy Garland into a gingham-clad icon, the duo’s 2011 redux adds a sprinkling of new songs (including the Wicked Witch of the West’s “Red Shoes Blues”) to the film’s Oscar-winning score and stars rescued Cairn terriers Nigel and Loki in the beloved role of Toto. $30-$125, 7:30pm WednesdayThursday, 8pm Friday, 2pm & 8pm Saturday, 2pm & 7:30pm Sunday; The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333.

Tribes Enhanced with creative elements

that address hearing and listening (including projected supertitles and classical music interludes), Nina Raine’s domestic drama Tribes surrounds an eccentric, dysfunctional family comprised of mom Beth (a writer struggling through a “marriage-breakdown detective novel”), dad Christopher (an academic yet foulmouthed critic), daughter Ruth (a hopeful opera singer who gigs in pubs) and sons Daniel (a grad student plagued with auditory hallucinations) and Billy (who’s deaf and learning sign language from his girlfriend Sylvia). Described by The

ALBERT GONZALES

3

Lunch and Learn: ‘Compositions in Space: Architectural Interventions’

Wall Street Journal as “the best-written, best-plotted, deepest, most daring — and funniest — new play in recent years,” Tribes lands on The Playhouse’s Cellar Theatre stage in a production directed

by John O’Neil. $12-$30, 8pm FridaySaturday, 3pm Sunday; The Playhouse, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258.

Comedy

Ralphie May Since graduating from the first

season of Last Comic Standing, larger-thanlife comedian Ralphie May has racked up the specials (including Girth of a Nation, Prime Cut and Austin-tatious for Comedy Central and Unruly and Imperfectly Yours for Netflix), wearing his brazen political incorrectness with a shameless sense of pride. $25, 8pm Thursday, 7:30pm & 10:15pm FridaySaturday; Laugh Out Loud Comey Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805.

Words

The Puro Two-Headed Slam Fundraiser

San Anto’s award-winning slam poetry crew PuroSlam stages a two-headed throwdown, with one early (familyfriendly) and one late (raunchy as can be), plus prizes (including the second Robert Paulson Awards), music, art, merch and food. $5, 7:30pm-2am Saturday; The Korova, 107 E. Martin St., (210) 995-7229.

Special Events

Pastie Pops Burlesque Show Jasper St.

James and the lovely ladies of the Pastie Pops set up shop at Sexology for an evening of intimate burlesque, drag and comedy performances rounded out with mixing, mingling and photo ops. Free, 7-10pm Friday; Sexology Institute and Boutique, 727 S. Alamo St., (210) 487-0371.

sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 17

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CELEBRATE PRIDE MONTH EVERY SATURDAY IN JUNE! Sat., June 4, 6-9 pm, Opening Reception: “Profiling Made Visible:The Art of Mark Anthony Martinez & Michael Martinez”

Sat., June 18, 2 pm: “Dialog/Diálogo,” A gallery conversation with curator David S. Rubin & artists Mark Anthony & Michael Martinez

Sat., June 11, 2 pm: “Queer Disclosure: Identity. Biopolitics & Medical Practice,” a gallery talk by Will Robertson (Dept. of Anthropology, U. Arizona)

Sat., June 25, 2 pm: Queer Poetry Reading Organized by Michael Martinez

Open Fridays & Saturdays, 1-4 pm, or by appt.

2803 Fredericksburg Road, San Antonio, TX 78201 210.383.9723 | bihlhausarts.org

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VIVA POESÍA: PALABRA, MUSICA Y CULTURA Join us for VIVA Poesía featuring Jesse Borrego. This event will include a community Poetry Slam hosted by Anthony the Poet, a film screening and live music performance

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CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

Raise the Roof: A Benefit for Luminaria

Local artist David Zamora Casas emcees this rooftop fundraiser with music by DJ Plata, food from Dignowity Meats, The Fridge, Sweet Yams and Rosella Coffee Company, and drinks from Alamo Beer and Lost Draw Cellars. $75 donation, 8-10pm Friday; 1221 Broadway Lofts, 1221 Broadway, (210) 721-1670.

River City Wrestling World Wrestling

Entertainment (WWE) legends The Warlord and The Barbarian come to RCW to wreak havoc along with other super-heavyweights such as former Total Nonstop Action (TNA) and Lucha Undeground (LU) star “Super-Mex” Hernandez, former WWE/TNA star Lance Hoyt and RCW Champions Michael Faith and Brandon Groom. The women’s division will also be on hand as Delilah Doom, Victoria and Baby Dumplins face off inside the squared circle. $15-$20, 8-10pm Friday; Retama Park, One Retama Pkwy., (210) 651-7000.

VHS tapes and get studying for this Geeks Who Drink pub quiz. $5 (cash only), 7-10pm Thursday; Sherlock’s Baker St. Pub & Grill, 16620 Hwy. 281 N., (303) 532-4737.

Talks Plus

210|West Gallery Talk: Arid Artist

Jack McGilvray explores historical and contemporary Western photography and discusses how landscape affects family and relationships. Free, 6:30-7:30pm Tuesday; Briscoe Western Art Museum, 210 W. Market St., San Antonio, (210) 299-4499.

Come OUT In observance of Pride, Foxxy Blue

Orchid (aka Dino Foxx) moderates a panel discussion exploring coming out stories through the experiences of panelists Ashley Dee Brown, Alejandra Galindo-Cantu, Irene Galindo-Cantu, Erick Macias and Julián P. Ledezma. Free, 6:30-8:30pm Wednesday; Central Library Auditorium, 600 Soledad St., (210) 207-2500.

Gardening for Butterflies, Bees and Hummingbirds The buzzword this year is pollinator garden. Do you have one

yet? Learn the ins and outs of butterfly gardening and see who else shows up.

Free, 2-3pm Saturday; Rainbow Gardens, 2585 Thousand Oaks Drive, (210) 494-6131.

Sexercise Class Certified Yoga Instructor

Tamara guides attendees (both men and women) through an array of targeted muscle exercises that can enhance stamina and arousal in almost all sex positions and, most importantly, during orgasm. $15, 9:3010:45am Saturday; Love Shack Boutique, 1580 Babcock Road, (210) 767-9411.

SAN ANTONIO MUSEUM OF ART

Spring Swing on the Plaza The San Antonio

Museum of Art Young Friends and the Tobin Center Ghost Light Society team up for an evening of mingling and swing dancing under the stars. $10-$20, 6-9pm Wednesday; Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 212-0914.

United We Brunch Twenty of SA’s top

restaurants — including Bite, Smoke, Magnolia Pancake Haus, Viva Vegeria and Liberty Bar — come together to offer brunch bites and breakfast cocktails at this San Antonio Current/Out In SA event with live music, beer, wine, mimosas, and michelada and bloody mary bars. $45 (benefiting the nonprofit Briscoe Western Art Museum), noon-3pm Saturday; Jack Guenther Pavilion, 210 W. Market St., (210) 388-0606.

JUNE 11–SEPTEMBER 4

When You Wish Upon A Bar: A Disney Quiz Do you get a standing ovation for

singing “Under the Sea” at karaoke?

Are you still traumatized by the death of Bambi’s mom? Can you feel the love tonight? Then bust out those old Disney

Open for Brunch Saturday & Sunday 10 a.m.–2 p.m.

Highest Heaven: Spanish and Portuguese Colonial Art from the Collection of Roberta and Richard Huber is organized by the San Antonio Museum of Art. This exhibition is generously supported by the Elizabeth Huth Coates Charitable Foundation of 1992.

Attributed to Cristóbal Lozano (Peruvian, 1705-1776); Rosa de Salazar y Gabiño, Countess of Monteblanco and Montemar, 1764-1771; Oil on canvas, h. 37 13/16 in.; w. 29 3/4 in.; Roberta and Richard Huber Collection; Photograph by Graydon Wood, Philadelphia Museum of Art

200 W. Jones Avenue • San Antonio, TX. 78215 • 210.978.8100 • samuseum.org sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 19

ARTS + CULTURE

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Entering through the giant mouth of a grinning man and confronted by posters for Quinto the Human Octopus and Jeanie the Living Half Girl, it’s obvious “Coney Island: Visions of an American Dreamland, 1981-2008” isn’t your standard, staid museum show. Mingling the gorgeous and grotesque — luminous 19th-century seascapes with clips from Hollywood movies and sideshow banners — this raucous, multimedia extravaganza on view through September 11 at the McNay Art Museum explores a joyous yet somewhat tawdry place in the country’s imagination and yearning that author Henry Miller called the “Coney Island of the mind.”

Organized by Connecticut’s Wadsworth Atheneum Museum of Art in Hartford, “Coney Island” is almost like a time-traveling trip to the beach resort located on a spit of land south of Brooklyn, conjured with paintings, drawings, photographs, prints, posters, banners, architectural artifacts and original carved-wooden carousel animals.

While looking at Reginald Marsh’s whirling women riders in Wooden Horses (1936), you can turn around and see actual painted-andbejeweled carousel horses from

the ride circa 1912-1917. Marsh’s crowded, sweaty scenes of the beach and midway show what Coney Island looked like when it became a multicultural playground for the teeming masses during the Great Depression. Joseph Stella captures the energy and excitement of the electrified American dreamland in his chaotic, almost abstract early painting, Lights, Coney Island, Mardi Gras (1913-1914).

From the Edison Company’s black-and-white 1905 Coney Island at Night to Alvy Singer’s childhood home under the Coney Island roller coaster in Woody Allen’s Annie Hall (1977), clips from numerous films trace the parallel development of movies and the amusement park as mass audience entertainment. But the innocent flirtations of Claudette Colbert and Ray Milland on the roller coaster in The Gilded Lily (1935) give way to the existential, drug-drenched despair of Darren Aronofsky’s dark 2000 drama Requiem for a Dream, which is also the title for the exhibit’s final section devoted to Coney Island’s decline after World War II. Samuel S. Carr’s 1879 Beach Scene depicts the simple pleasures of early Coney Island, from a fashionable family posing stiffly for a tintype photographer to a nearby puppet show attended by a welldressed African-American couple.

Facing page: Steeplechase Funny Face (top) and Bruce Davidson, Untitled, July 4, 1962 (bottom). This page, clockwise from top left: Marie Roberts, A Congress of Curious Peoples, 2005; Homer Page, Coney Island, July 30, 1949; Daze, Coney Island Pier, 1995; Joseph Stella, Battle of Lights, Coney Island, Mardi Gras, 1913-1914; Frank Stella, Coney Island, 1958; Morris Engel, Coney Island Embrace, New York City, 1938; Frederick Brosen, Fortune Teller, Jones Walk, Coney Island, 2008.

ARTS + CULTURE

Coney Island became a democratic destination that mashed together different social classes.

In contrast to Carr’s frozen figures, John Henry Twatchman and William Merritt Chase, who mentored San Antonio artist Julian Onderdonk, took an impressionistic approach, using dabs and swatches of paint to animate their beach scenes, such as Chase’s lively At the Shore (1884), probably showing the attractions, including the large blue orb marking the Fortune Teller’s Booth, near the Brighton Beach Hotel.

The exhibit follows the chronological development of the nation’s archetypal beach resort from upper-crust watering hole in the 1820s to the country’s most popular resort after the Civil War, especially with the opening of

the nation’s first rollercoaster there in 1884, which was soon followed by Steeplechase Park.

Leo McKay’s panorama (1903-1906) shows the park’s many attractions, including riding on mechanical horses around an elevated track, cruising on canals in Venetian-style gondolas, taking a cyclorama trip to the green-cheese exploited people with medical conditions and Moon and riding elephants. congenital deformities who became popular Elephants, sadly, became a symbol of Coney sideshow attractions during the 1930s. Pip and Island’s decadence. In 1885, James Lafferty Flip, actually Elvira and Jenny Snow, Georgia built the Elephant Hotel, a 122-foot-tall replica twins born with microcephaly, were among of the animal that straddled the beach, which the stars of the Coney Island “freak” shows. can be seen in a poster for Barnum and Bailey’s Advertised on banners in one of the Marsh traveling Coney Island Water Carnival. By the paintings, the twins can be seen in a clip from time the giant pachyderm burned down in 1896, director Tod Browning’s notorious 1932 film it had become a brothel. Even more shocking is Freaks, which starred Coney Island’s sideshow the fate of Topsy, an elephant condemned to be headliners, including the conjoined twins Daisy electrocuted, a wretched 1903 publicity stunt and Violent Hilton, who lived in San Antonio. The recorded by Edison that is shown in the gallery. freaks of the past join the sword-swallowers and To balance the grim spectacle, Britishfire-eaters of the present in Marie Roberts’ A American artist and animal-rights activist Sue Congress of Curious Peoples (2005).

Coe’s accompanying 2007 video tells the story For most people, the enduring image of from the animal’s point of view using circus poster Coney Island is Weegee’s 1940 black-and-white imagery to show the elephant photograph of a sea of people forced to leave Africa, imprisoned jammed together, Afternoon Crowd as a circus performer and convicted at Coney island, Brooklyn, which the ‘Coney Island: Visions of of murder despite acting in selfmultimedia pop artist Red Grooms an American Dreamland, defense. Now after more than 100 has transformed into a colorful, 1861-2008’ years, Barnum and Bailey has finally three-dimensional shadowbox. $15-$20 announced it is doing away with its Alternatively both “America’s 10am-4pm Wed, 10am-9pm Thu, 10am-4pm Fri, 10am-5pm Sat, elephant acts.

Playground” and “Sodom by the noon-5pm Sun, 10am-4pm Tue Microcephaly, in the news Sea,” Coney Island ranges from the McNay Art Museum because of the zika virus, is the sublime to the sensational, mashing 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave. (210) 824-5368. cause of the condition that created up people and dreams in the most mcnayart.org “pinheads,” among the crassly surprising and often shocking ways.

Through September 11

sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 21

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ARTS + CULTURE

EACH ONE TEACH ONE

A SILENT PROBLEM

Fighting adult illiteracy, one at a time MICHAEL MARKS | @MICHAELPMARKS

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Tutors work one-on-one with students at Each One Teach One.

Yates never mastered reading, and his teachers focused on kids who caught on quicker, he said. He left school in the fifth grade and found work cutting lawns and painting houses on San Antonio’s East Side. Eventually he took on construction, janitorial and railroad jobs. He spent his entire career not knowing how to read or write — something he’s not sure he could do in today’s world.

“Back then you could kind of hide it. Now, I don’t think you could,” Yates said. “If I was a young man [now] there wouldn’t be no future for me.”

When Yates would have to perform a task like filling out a form, he’d find someone who didn’t know him well to do it for him. He’d get discouraged when he’d try to do it himself and hit a word he didn’t know.

“I’d look at a word and I’d get disgusted with myself,” Yates said. “People look at you a different way. You kind of feel empty after that.”

Before starting lessons at Each One Teach One, Yates assumed that reading required memorizing each word.

When he learned about using individual sounds to break words down, the floodgates opened.

Although he’s still not at the level he wants to be, he feels good about his progress. He’ll read anything he can get his hands on these days, though he prefers history books and the Bible. He even tutors another Each One Teach One student who’s at a lower level than him.

In the aggregate, people who struggle to read like Yates can cause economies to lag. They are more likely to be in poor health, go to jail and be less productive workers. In Texas and nationwide, there’s little investment to help them. Texas matches federal funds for adult

MICHAEL MARKS

Odds are that today you encountered an adult who struggles to read and write.

Not just today, but every day. About 14 percent of U.S. adults are functionally illiterate, according to the National Center for Education Studies. The figure is likely even higher in San Antonio, which is among the least-literate populous cities, per a Central Connecticut University study.

Although it’s likely you came across someone who can’t read, you probably didn’t know it. Illiteracy is a largely invisible affliction. It skews toward the poor, but cuts across socioeconomic lines, sex and ethnicity. And those who can’t read spend their lives trying to hide it.

“Adults tend to conceal the fact that they’re struggling … and there isn’t a voice advocating for them,” said Carolyn Heath, executive director of Each One Teach One, a local nonprofit that teaches adults to read and write through one-on-one tutoring.

Headquartered in what was once Fire Station 28 off Blanco Road, Each One Teach One volunteers instruct approximately 200 students each year. But they could help even more with additional volunteers — there’s typically a waitlist between 10 and 20 would-be learners.

Students are scattered throughout the facility, now one of several sites the group operates. Free books line shelves. In a conference room, the words “Yesterday — Today — Tomorrow” are shakily scrawled on three consecutive days on a calendar. Posters about the alphabet and each letter’s pronunciation are tacked onto walls.

Heath said that some of the people who come to the center have high school diplomas but can barely read at a basic level. Others may have dropped out at an early age, getting lost in the shuffle of the public school system.

“At some point, they needed intervention and they didn’t get it. They just kept going through the conveyer belt,” Heath said. “If you can’t fit through the system, you’re just lost.”

That’s what happened to George Yates, who didn’t know how to read and write until he was almost 70 years old. He’s spent most of his life hiding it from the outside world. And that hasn’t completely stopped.

Yates requested that his real name be withheld from this article because he doesn’t want his grandchildren to know he couldn’t read. It’s not something he’s ever discussed with his family — not with his former wife, not with his children (who all graduated from college), not with his grandkids.

•

Executive Director Carolyn Heath

education at only the bare minimum required by law.

“It’s not an easy, cute or clean issue,” Heath said.

“Adults make us look in the mirror and ask ‘How did this person get through a school system without being able to read and write?’”

Yates wonders what his life might have been like if he had learned earlier. He could have been a doctor, or a police officer maybe.

But he doesn’t think about it for long, he says. He gets back to his current book, a biography of Martin Luther King, Jr., and continues to highlight words he doesn’t know. mmarks@sacurrent.com sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 23

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SCREENS

DICK IN A BOX OFFICE

Samberg satire Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping never stops spoofing pop culture DAN HUDAK

The team behind Saturday Night Live’s viral hits “Dick in a Box” and “Lazy Sunday” now bring us the feature-length Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, and it’s every bit as crass, ridiculous and hilarious as you’d expect. And if you haven’t heard of those viral videos, go see Popstar anyway, because it’s damn funny and surprisingly smart.

Andy Samberg stars as Conner4Real, a music superstar who shot to fame as part of the “Style Boyz” trio and later achieved even greater success with his first solo album. However, his second album, Connquest, is a total disaster. With his life falling apart, one Style Boyz bandmate, Lawrence (Akiva Schaffer), refuses to speak with him, while the other, Owen (Jorma Taccone), has been relegated to the role of a background DJ. Conner’s manager (Tim Meadows), publicist (Sarah Silverman) and girlfriend (Imogen Poots) offer support, but you sense they realize how superficial his work and celebrity really are.

The story is told as a mockumentary that’s a mix of Behind the Music sap and This Is Spinal Tap satire, complete with controversy, rampant stupidity and backstabbing. The music is trashy, catchy and fun — “Equal Rights” shows Conner worried about being perceived as gay while insisting there’s nothing wrong with it, “Mona Lisa” questions why the painting is so famous, childishly claiming she “looks like a Garbage Pail Kid,” and there’s a false modesty in “I’m So Humble” that Mariah Carey claims to love.

Speaking of Carey, throughout the film we learn of Conner’s level of success and stature from pop stars such as Nas, Carrie Underwood and Usher, and there are other cameos throughout from the likes of Emma Stone and Justin Timberlake. Clearly the creators of the film — The Lonely Island trio of Samberg, Schaffer and Taccone — aren’t satirizing one person or band, but rather an entire industry of celebrity culture. It takes guts and intelligence to latch onto social trends, understand them and scathingly lambast for optimum comic value. But, co-writers Samberg, Schaffer and Taccone (the latter two also co-directed the film) only take it so far.

Teetering just below the flashy outfits, marijuana, bling, entourages and hangers-on is the utter stupidity of it all.

The filmmakers are absolutely aware of this but never go so far as to overtly criticize; they’re reticent when they could be resonant with cultural commentary on how and why we consume all the trash celebrities provide. Doing this, however, would’ve been tricky, as it would essentially slap audience members in the face for liking who they like, and remember this: The target audience for Justin Bieber,

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Samberg as Conner4Real, our despicable antihero.

Pharrell, Taylor Swift (and this movie) are one and the same.

This doesn’t mean the filmmakers don’t get their shots in, of course, sometimes in more obvious ways than others. A TMZ-inspired TV show called CMZ isn’t even trying to be coy about what it’s spoofing, and Conner’s desire to release his second album through household appliances suggests how intrusive technology has allowed the media to become, whether we consumers like it or not. “There’s no such thing as selling out anymore,” Conner says, and darn if your music automatically playing when people open their fridge doesn’t suggest that’s true. Do we really want to listen to a sellout? The story doesn’t explore that question, but it would’ve been interesting if it did.

In fairness, you can’t deduct points from Popstar for not biting the hand that feeds it. It’s just not that kind of movie. It is, however, a funny film with appealing music that might just get you thinking about whether the celebrities you adore are worthy of said adoration.

•

Did you know? In a recent interview I conducted with Samberg, Schaffer and Taccone, the trio claimed that Ringo Starr was the most exciting cameo they were able to get, and (jokingly) that “He loved the movie, and loved meeting us.”

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (R) 86 min.

Dir. Jorma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer; writ. Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer; feat. Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, Akiva Schaffer, Sarah Silverman, Imogen Poots, Tim Meadows Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping opens nationwide Friday, June 3.

HHH

sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 25

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26 CURRENT • June 1—7, 2016 • sacurrent.com

FOOD

JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

The

Brunch Elves A behind-the-scenes look at how your French toast gets made JESSICA ELIZARRARAS | @JESSELIZARRARAS

≥

It’s a slow stir of a morning. Zeke Cavazos walks quietly, methodically pulling out board mats, turning the sous vide machine to a balmy 160 degrees. Alan Dale Nelson fires up the range and carries over eight fry pans in which he’ll start work on crepes. Over on the other side of the kitchen, a stack of thick-cut brioche gets a dip into a large bucket of French toast batter. Dip. Remove. Soak.

Fry. Repeat. The crew’s been here since 7:30 a.m.

By the time chef Stefan Bowers rolls in with a hefty bag of breakfast tacos, the kitchen’s reached a steady hum. It’s now 8 a.m. and the staff at Rebelle can really get going on brunch prep.

It’s a similar, but slightly more chaotic scene at Feast, Rebelle’s big sister eatery, where chef Jared Smith has been pre-searing French toast since 6 a.m.

“I’m usually fine on four or five hours of sleep,” Smith says.

At 11 a.m. on Sunday morning, 30 minutes into service, the restaurant that’s won Best of San Antonio brunch a few years running, is bustling. Six other souls join Smith in the kitchen, including co-chef Cody Clarke, who along with three others, is busy flipping pancakes, grilling rib eye and frying pancake-wrapped sausage corn dogs.

Smith and Clarke alternate command each weekend, with one leading the charge on the expo line. Tickets print, orders are called out, cooks deliver plates, jams and piping hot doses of gravy are ladled onto biscuits, runners are called and it’s on to the next ticket (or 30).

“It’s like a battle,” Clarke says. “They open the doors and it just comes.”

But prep for most brunches begins far before most brunch-goers begin to sober up. Clarke, who bakes close to 175 biscuits for Feast’s WT breakfast, starts his dry mix and freezes the butter Friday night after service. The dough is mixed and allowed to rise over night on Saturday

•

Stefan Bowers frying Jamaican bammies at Rebelle.

evening so it’s ready for Sunday morning. Saturday night also includes working on the tomato sauce for eggs in hell, grinding the pistachio dukkah, slicing challah/ brioche bread for French toast and making compotes.

It’s a similar system at Cappy’s, a longtime Alamo Heights favorite brunch spot where half the point of going out is to see who you’re going to run into a few tables over. During Friday’s lunch service, chef Gabriel Ibarra and co. will peel, cook and cut potatoes in advance of Saturday’s brunch, clean tenderloin for the best-selling Sunday breakfast and sear prime chuck. Ibarra will usually roll in to brunch at 6 a.m. Saturday morning.

“Brunch is the most difficult because everyone has a different idea of what scrambled or poached eggs should look like,” Ibarra says, while giving a shout out to his staff.

“Teamwork is the biggest part of it. I’m blessed that the cooks that work with me have been with me for a long time and they understand you don’t come to work messed up.”

Prep sometime begins as early as Wednesday when it comes to Boiler House, which made the Top 10 brunch spots in America list for Men’s Journal in 2015. On a

FIRST ND THUR SDAYS

JUN

2

at Pearl

typical Sunday brunch, the restaurant will usually serve 300 people.

“We start making the lasagnas, start cutting the vegetables for hash,” chef Jeff White says, “Brunch is fast, there’s so many people. It can get chaotic.”

It’s easy for things to get out of hand when you’re cracking more than 1,000 eggs on a Sunday morning.

But White, Bowers, Clarke, Smith and Ibarra know the Sunday staple can be a restaurant’s bread and butter — pun intended. Relatively low food costs, matched with a bustling scene can help balance budgets.

“Honestly, it’s worth the pain — people love brunch,” White said.

Figuring out the brunch groove takes work. Bowers, who hadn’t led a brunch before his turn at Feast, says establishing that rhythm was a huge learning curve that included adapting to cooks running late, no-show dishwashers and learning what items worked — all without letting the guests in on the kitchen drama.

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FOOD

“We just need to accommodate.

The restaurant is responsible. Of course people are grouchy. Their blood sugar is low, they haven’t eaten in 14 hours,” Bower says. “We should operate with a sense of urgency.”

Feast’s reputation for one of the best brunches in town for both its fare and fabulous socializing isn’t lost on Clarke and Smith.

“Sometimes we have rough days and it feels like we’re not doing good, but they keep coming back,” Clarke says. “Stefan’s got a great reputation, so does Andrew. We’re just trying to do right by them.”

Back-breaking, egg-cracking, brunch pandemonium doesn’t mean these guys won’t have fun. Clarke and Smith blast heavy metal on Sundays, while Ibarra has fun with what he calls over-exaggerated and obnoxious specials. Bowers and the

The line at Feast during a Sunday rush.

JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

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◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 27

guys at Rebelle work on delivering dishes they’re proud of like yuccabased Jamaican bammies (a type of flatbread) that’s topped with jerk chicken.

“People don’t want to be serious at brunch. They want mimosas, a good laugh. They want to have a good time,” White, who’s known for his Krispy Kreme David Lee Roth burger says.

“We have to make it fun and ridiculous.” flavor@sacurrent.com

What Brunch ≥

Most industry folks are night owls.

Brunch. It’s way too early in the morning. You’re tired at best, hung over or still drunk from the night before at worst. Three cups of coffee or Red Bulls later you manage to pull it all together and put a smile on your face, at least you hope it’s a smile.

The doors open and people flood in. It isn’t

BY A 15-YEAR INDUSTRY VETERAN like a normal lunch where you have an hour or so to get yourself together before the “rush.”

The breakfast brunch crowd is there waiting for the doors to open. Within minutes you’re running around getting coffee and tea, just waiting for that first bit of food to hit the table so the guests can have their ever-so-important alcohol (TABC doesn’t allow alcohol to be served without food before noon). First round of tables done.

This is where the real “fun” begins. The coffee and Red Bull are wearing off. The exhaustion/hangover are getting real. Three more hours. Now, now is when guests start wanting modifications to their dishes. You are the ambassador to the kitchen. You have to explain why the guest wants half egg whites in their omelet while never touching anything that’s ever been used to cook something with gluten on it.

The kitchen is 30 tickets deep. They make it happen for you. Plate hits the table.

Guest forgets to tell you they can’t have anything green on their plate because they don’t like the color. You smile and nod, but inside more adjectives are running through your head than you ever thought you even knew.

Two more hours.

Now the lunch brunch crowd is rolling in. They just want greasy food to cure their ills. At least we have something in common. Once they get their first drink they loosen up and can be quite entertaining.

One more hour. The entire staff is tired. 200 covers deep. OJ is running low.

Cheap Champagne is now prosecco. The minutes are starting to drag into hours.

Then you hear it. Six menus are still out. The end is in sight. You made it through by the skin of your teeth. Now it’s time for a quick cigarette, side work and a checkout; 30 minutes later you get setup for dinner …

Feels Like For Your Server

sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 29

FOOD

Hungry for more?

For a sneak peek of

unch UnitedrestaurWantes, Br visit photos.sacurrent.com

Brunches we Love 10 Ways To Nail Sunday Funday

STAFF

Brunch. Love it, hate it, not-sober-enough-for-it, the most important meal of the weekend is also an SA mainstay.

Whether you love dressing up for it, or crawling out of bed in jammies cursing the gods as to why you would ever make midmorning plans after a rowdy night out, brunch happens (and you can enjoy it en masse with us on Saturday, June 4 from noon to 3 p.m. at

Brunch Way, Way up North

DI FRABO RISTORANTE ITALIANO 22211 W I-10, Suite 1101, (210) 272-0758 difrabo.com

the Jack Guenther Pavilion at the Briscoe Museum during United We Brunch. Visit brunch.sacurrent.com for details).

Though we all have our go-tos, the San Antonio Current’s brunchgoers (Ron Bechtol, Jacqueline Fierro, Eric Moreno, Caroline Timmins and yours truly, Jessica Elizarraras) curated a selection of brunches fit for just about any occasion. May your Hollaindaise be warm, scrambled eggs buttery and biscuits fluffy — anything else

JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

PANCAKE JOE’S 1011 Donaldson Ave., (210) 785-9007

> There comes a time when brunch just needs to be simple, casual and affordable … in other words, it just needs to be breakfast. Remove all the pomp and mimosa-stance from your brunch and just go get yourself some damn good food at Pancake Joe’s. An unassuming Deco District gem, Pancake Joe’s is located near Jefferson High School in a small strip center. Blink and you’ll miss it. Brave the crowds and wait for a table so you can get your grub on with amazing breakfast dishes like blueberry cheesecake pancakes, Monte Cristo-stuffed waffles, biscuits and gravy, and just about any omelet combo you can think of. At Pancake Joe’s, it’s just about stuffing your face with no shame at a reasonable price — you won’t get judged by some catty girl because you’re not wearing your best crop top and heels, and you also won’t run up your bill with all that mid-day booze. Win-win if you ask me. — CT

1915 Broadway, Suite 111, (210) 314-8226 tacosandtequilatnt.com

> Tacos and Tequila is a one-stop-shop for all of your brunching needs. For just $22, you can indulge in the Sunday brunch buffet which includes everything from chicken and waffles to tomatillo chicken enchiladas. Try a little bit of everything or stick to a TNT favorite, like the street tacos and omelet bar. Did we mention brunch comes with two mimosas made with fresh fruit juices?

And what is a buffet without dessert — TNT offers assorted flans, churros, fruit and fresh chocolate chip cookies. To make sure you don’t slip into a food coma at any point of the buffet, Tacos and Tequila has a DJ to keep your brunching at an all-time high. — JF JACQUELINE FIERRO

ANGELA PENCSAK

30 CURRENT • June 1—7, 2016 • sacurrent.com

For the Anti-brunchers

> Sunday brunch at Di Frabo Ristorante Italiano in Dominion Ridge is a must.

Brunch starts off with complimentary warm pastries and bread for the whole table so they’re already helping you stave off hanger. When it comes to ordering, diners can stick to traditional items such as the French toast or eggs Benedict, or for a more substantial meal to recover from Saturday night, pick the chicken and waffles served with pancetta and topped with berries or brisket served with eggs and hash browns. Wash it all down with bottomless bellinis. — JF

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•

Di Frabo Ristorante Italiano

FOOD

SOPHIE COVO

For When You’re Feeling Fancy

Expand Your Horizons with Barbecue

803 S. St. Mary’s St. (210) 263-7885 brigidrestaurant.com

1012 N. Flores St., (210) 277-7174 kingshwybnq.com

BRIGID

JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

•

Southerleigh Fine Food & Brewery

For the Boozehound MEZCALERÍA MIXTLI 5313 McCullough Ave. (210) 320-1660 mezcaleriamixtli.com

Saturday Brunchin’ SOUTHERLEIGH FINE FOOD & BREWERY

136 E. Grayson St., Suite 120 (210) 455-5701 southerleigh.com

> I know how it is. It’s Friday night, the workweek is over and you’re getting turnt. If you’re anything like me, by the time you wake up on Saturday it’s well past a breakfast-appropriate hour. And thus begins the quest to find the everelusive Saturday brunch. Make the decision-making process easy and head to Southerleigh, which recently launched Sunday brunch, as well.

Here, you can start out with stuffed crab, move onto beignets, indulge in eggs Benedict served atop jalapeño cornbread and end it with a chocolate pound cake. The menu is always shifting, but you’ll definitely find something you’re sure to be into. Complementing the food are stellar cocktails, including a boozy strawberry concoction infused with jalapeño, a delish tropical pineapple mimosa and one of the best micheladas I’ve ever encountered. Not bad for a late start to your weekend. — CT

> I’m a simple gal. Give me fewer than 10 expertly executed menu items and leave the bullshit for someone else.

That’s why the King’s Sunday brunch with chef Emilio Soliz is worth a visit.

Start off by sitting on that gloriously sunny patio. Order your bottomless mimosas, if that’s your thing, or opt for a spicy, hot kick to the mouth with a Kings michelada (use Piñata Protest from Freetail or Santo via Saint Arnold for best results).

Sure, you could order the fluffy biscuits and lustful gravy, but why not try something new like the Kentucky Hot Brown, an open-faced sammy first made in Louisville, Kentucky’s Brown Hotel, that piles on smoked turkey breast, cheese sauce, grilled tomatoes and bacon on fresh sourdough. Messy, savory and worth the cheat day. — JE CONTINUED ON PAGE 33 ►

JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

> Let’s face it: We brunch (verb form) because it allows us to drink (verb form) in the morning. Mezcalería Mixtli has developed brunch drinks (noun form) beyond the mimosa, so, obviously …

Bar guy Edgar Najera offers a more elaborate Vampiro than many with tequila, habanero sangrita, grapefruit soda and pickled veg; soon, a version with achiote syrup may appear. The michelada with Victoria cerveza comes amplified with house sangrita and Salsa Maggi. Those thinking it’s not brunch without bubbly can take solace in the Granada with cava, pomegranate and rosewater. And, at least for now, there’s a hot chocolate libation laced with chile-based Ancho Reyes.

On the food side, the carnitas de Puerco are recommended — along with the chilaquiles rojos with chicken and black beans, the green posole with both pork and chicken, and the more amicable than most huevos divorciados. You’re on your own with the molletes and enfrijoladas, but we can enthusiastically suggest a side of papas con chorizo and, because why not, some sizzled chiles torreados along with — because, also why not — a Calavera Mexican Imperial Stout. —RB

> As the epidemic known as “brunch” has swept the nation over the last couple of years, it has become the ideal environment for the occasionally hungover, obnoxious millennial who stumbles in with sunglasses, sex hair and plenty of raunchy stories to tell their friends to thrive.

Now I’m not shaming this particular person, because I’ve been that girl many a weekend. But sometimes you just need a brunch where you can feel way fancier and super classy. That’s where Brigid comes in. Located in Southtown, Brigid has one of the hottest brunches in town.

But come in your Sunday best and make sure to whisper your Tinder sexcapades to your friends.

The menu has something for everyone — enticing apps like biscuits and gravy and lox on ciabatta, standout entrees like the chicken and waffles, pecan pancakes, the best frickin’ shrimp and grits this side of NOLA, and, of course, plenty of alcoholic beverage choices, including a tasty bloody mary with a gazpacho tinge and a real kick at the end. — CT

KINGS HW Y. BREW & Q

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Mezcaleria Mixtli

sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 31

Come in for Brunch!

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Hoppy Monk

JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

•

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BRUNCH

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Grayze on Grayson

◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 31

Buffet + Patio = Fun GRAYZE ON GRAYSON

521 E. Grayson St., (210) 481-8776 grayzeongrayson.com

> For those of us who want to roll into brunch fresh from a sweaty 2.5mile hike at a nearby trail, our (likely) first meal of the day needs to be several things, namely quick. What’s faster than a buffet? Probably the service at Grayze, where your Pick Me Up cocktail or mimosa hits the table almost as soon as you return from the buffet line.

Served from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. and priced at $18.99, the spread at Grayze includes barbacoa chilaquiles, brisket hash, mac ‘n’ cheese, cous cous, along with bacon and sausage for heartier appetites.

They also feature lighter items, such as salmon gravlax, minted fresh fruit salad and marinated mushrooms.

The fluffy French toast platter — cranberry, bananas foster have all been recent variations — will make you a believer in the brunch gospel.

The patio is also perfect for pounding a few mimosas back. Orange juice has electrolytes, right? —JE

1010 N. Loop 1604 E. (210) 454-3330 thehoppymonk.com

> Scenario: You and your buds went out last night and did some damage, both to your wallet and your brain cells. Now, the sun is up, your head is pounding, your gut is angry and your soul needs satisfying that only a generous brunch can provide. Where do y’all go? Answer: The Hoppy Monk.

“I wanted to make this place something special,” said owner Pedro Longoria. “If you’ve been partying the night before, you’ll come in here and get something hearty, something spicy and something good.”

The Hoppy Monk looks and feels like a good English pub, but better.

Head chef Emiliano Marentes built the menu to blend his Mexican roots with his classical French training (e.g. duck l’orange Benedict and grilled avocado and nopal tacos — sleeper hits at this year’s Culinaria).

Drink-wise, the best of the craft beer world is here either in bottles, cans or on tap, and the brunch cocktail list — which includes beverages like the Velvet Rabbit with Irish whiskey, Ancho Reyes, carrot juice, egg white and lemon or the Batido the Tequila, essentially a tequila shake — is worth perusing.

You want The Hoppy Monk; you need The Hoppy Monk. Go, now! —EM

Funnel Cake!

Michi Brunch!

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Stick with a Classic CAPPY’S

5011 Broadway (210) 828-9669 cappysrestaurant.com

> Another contender for best Saturday brunch, Cappy’s has been under the leadership of chef Gabriel Ibarra for almost a dozen years. Offered 11 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.

Saturday and 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Sunday, the brunch at Cappy’s gets what you’re here for. For starters, the kitchen doesn’t allow for hangriness — each table gets a warm basket of muffins or scones upon arrival.

When it comes to the menu, chef and co. deliver with the usual suspects of eggs Benedict and eggs Louie (served with blue crab cakes instead of Canadian bacon), but if you’re into the sweeter side of things, Ibarra’s known for his custardy, corn flake-crusted and deep-fried French Toast, like a recent peaches and cream iteration, and specials like the seasonal pancakes that reflect a certain organization known for their cookies — mint pancakes with dark chocolate sauce anyone? — JE

200 E. Grayson St. (210) 223-3900

> It’s no surprise that one of the best chef-driven brunch options comes from an OG SA chef, Andrew Weissman. Il Sogno on the weekends is a welcome escape from farmers*logo* market franticness; Tejanitas its secluded patio and quiet dining room allow you to decompress and truly enjoy the badass food.

Start off your meal with the French press coffee, which comes with all the fancy accoutrements you can imagine like house-made vanillainfused sugar (pro-tip: if they also include their jam on the platter, confuse whomever you’re with and tell them it’s an Italian tradition to put the jam in the coffee, it’s really fun, trust me).

You can’t go wrong with this menu. On the sweet side, the French toast and crepes are always delicious. For those who like their brunches savory, try the avocado toast or the polenta with prosciutto and eggs (ask for them coddled).

And here’s some insider info: If you want to eat like the chef himself, order the steamed eggs with tomatoes and pesto. It’s a variation of Weissman’s personal breakfast that’s unlike anything you’ve had before. — CT

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BOTTOMS UP 12 restaurants that serve up “bottomless” mimosas

≥

When the weekend arrives and we take that first stretch, there’s usually only one thing on our mind — “Where am I going to brunch?” Get dressed, friends, because we not only know where you should nosh, but also where the bottomless mimosas are at.

As always, please drink responsibly, SA! 18 OAKS

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• 23808 Resort Pkwy. • (210) 276-2500

Pretend you’re on vacation at 18 Oaks, located inside the gorgeous JW Marriott San Antonio Hill Country Resort. 18 Oak’s Signature Sunday Brunch features unlimited mimosas, a carving station, fresh seafood and weekly chef’s specials. After a few drinks, you may find yourself inside the 6-acre waterpark complete with a lazy river. Lazy Sunday Funday is the only way to go.

CANDLELIGHT COFFEE HOUSE 3011 N. St. Mary’s St. (210) 738-0099 candlelightsa.com

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Grab your Champagne flute and head to the self-serve mimosa bar at Candlelight Coffee House. The comfy interior may urge you to pour in more Champagne than orange juice, but make sure to drink responsibly. We want you to be around for next Sunday’s brunch! Along with the self-serve bar, you can’t beat Candlelight’s vintage interior with tables, couches and bar seating.

But the patio is where you’ll want to while away the hours this summer.

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DECO PIZZERIA 1815 Fredericksburg Road (210) 732-3326 decopizza.com

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From 10:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. on Sundays you can enjoy brunch at Deco Pizzeria. Pair your “almost bottomless” mimosas with a bean and cheese calzone or barbacoa pizza if you’re looking at a puro Sunday Funday. Don’t forget this is a pizzeria, so you may want to take your favorite pizza to go to keep your Sunday amazing all day.

DI FRABO RISTORANTE ITALIANO 22211 I-10 W., Suite 1101 (210) 272-0758 difrabo.com

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What’s better than bottomless mimosas? Bottomless mimosas and bellinis! Di Frabo, located in Dominion Ridge right past the Rim Shopping Center, serves up

We’ll let you decide the ratios.

mimosas and bellinis galore for a mere $14. Pair your bubbly with some French toast or eggs Benny and you have yourself a delicious brunch.

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TRIBECA 4331 McCullough Ave. (210) 320-0698 facebook.com/tribecadiolmos

THE GRILL AT LEON SPRINGS 24116 I-10 W. (210) 698-8797

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The Grill knows how to do brunch and offers Champagne with its Sunday buffet for $28.95 per person. We all know that once the bubbles start bubblin,’ a buffet is the only thing that will keep our stomachs content. Indulge in the omelet station, Belgian waffles, carving station and more.

•

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THE HANGAR 8203 Broadway (210) 824-2700 Head over to the Hangar and sip on $12 bottomless brunch on Saturday and Sunday from 11:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. This super chill option has all the classics, including bacon, hash browns and French toast.

MADHATTERS TEA HOUSE AND CAFE 320 Beauregard St. (210) 212-4832 madhatterstea.com

•

Sip on a fishbowl mimosa with your brunch crew while you enjoy the trippy interior of Madhatters. Named after the infamous Alice in Wonderland character, Madhatters knows how to throw a great brunch complete with a tea party atmosphere. Enjoy yours on Saturday from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. or Sunday from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. If the $10 fishbowl isn’t enough, order the monster pitcher for $5 more!

•

Mash’d, located in the Rim, offers $2 mimosa madness and includes peach, blood orange and blackberry flavors.

MASH’D 17623 La Cantera Pkwy., Suite 107 (210) 538-5833 mashd.com

•

The Northwest Side of SA lacks in the bottomlessmimosa category, but Sunday Funday must go on!

•

From 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Sundays, enjoy $15 bottomless or carafe mimosas at Tribeca. The Olmos Park restaurant serves up all the necessary brunch items as well as Tribeca favorites like the truffle crab omelette, duck confit pancakes and house cured salmon Croque Madame.

TUCKER’S KOZY KORNER 1338 E. Houston St. (210) 320-2192 facebook.com/tuckerskozykorner1948

•

If you have that odd friend in your Sunday brunch group who doesn’t fancy mimosas, head over to Tucker’s where they serve bottomless mimosas and offer a build-your-own Bloody Mary bar.

•

ROSELLA COFFEE CO. 203 E. Jones Ave. (210) 277-8574 rosellacoffee.com

•

Your favorite neighborhood coffee shop now serves $10 bottomless mimosas until 3 p.m. Pair your mimosa with lighter-than-air waffles or the classic, Rosella avocado toast.

•

SWEETFIRE KITCHEN 16641 La Cantera Pkwy.

(210) 558-6500 resortlacantera.com

•

SweetFire Kitchen, located inside the La Cantera Resort and Spa, offers $18 bottomless mimosas every day. Yup, it’s always a holiday inside the La Cantera Resort! Who doesn’t want to party it up on a Monday?

sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 37

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38 CURRENT • June 1—7, 2016 • sacurrent.com

NIGHTLIFE

Summer Seasonals … They’re a Good Thing

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ERIC MORENO

If you read columns such as this one, you really don’t need me to explain what a seasonal beer is. However, I learned long ago in journalism classes at San Antonio College that you never take anything for granted when it comes to your audience. Every time, it is someone’s first time reading. So, for you new readers, welcome. Now, seasonals.

For many breweries, especially microbreweries, it is a tradition to release a special “batch” of their delectable product that is reflective of the season. As we are now entering the hot summer months, many area brewers are set to unleash upon us their summer seasonals, which tend to offer up lighter fare, often with citrus or honey or more floral helpings of hops.

Seasonals offer many craft and microbreweries the chance to spread their wings and flex their brewmaster’s metaphorical muscles. They’re a chance to step away from their comfort zones and show what they can really do.

“With craft beer drinkers, basically the top 10 percent of them, they’re butterflies,” said Pedernales Brewing Company President and CEO Lee Hereford. “They’re going around from flower to flower, or beer to beer, if you will. They might find some flowers they like better, but that doesn’t mean they won’t come back to them any time soon because there are so many flowers.

Our plan is to, each year, come out with something new and different so that those butterflies that are driving the craft beer industry find their way back to us.”

At Pedernales, just a stone’s throw up I-10 in Fredericksburg, all you craft

beer butterflies need to be on the lookout for their award-winning Lobo Kristall Weizen. Available to the public from April through July, this ultra-crisp brew is described by Hereford as being different from the Lobo Hefe in a unique way.

“The way I explain how the Kristall is different from the Hefe is like this,” he said. “Imagine the Hefe is a beautiful 15-year-old ballerina dancing on her toes and pirouetting. Now imagine that girl, 10 years later and she is a member of the Bolshoi Ballet.”

From personal experience, it is delicious.

Seasonals are rolling out across the region. At Alamo Beer Company, in addition to their Maibock, which is out now, the summer promises the return of their Kolsch-style Alamo Summer Ale (available July 1). Over at Busted Sandal, the good folks there will be launching their Tan Line Citra Pale Ale this month.

At The Granary ‘Cue & Brew, the return of their annual Berliner Weisse will be unveiled this month. Last year, the brew was made with fermented strawberries; can’t wait to see what they’ve come up with this time out.

Over at the New Braunfels Brewing Company, summer sees the launch of their HimmelWeiss (German for “heaven”); dry and hoppy, you need to drink it to truly appreciate it. Here in town at the Blue Star Brewing Company, be on the look out for their Wheathead and Summer Pilsner.

I don’t need to tell you it’s hot here in San Antonio. Go grab one of these seasonals and make the blistering summer months a little more bearable.

as

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•

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sharpen the quills • 7-9PM prophets of addiction • 9-11pm

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West Kings Highway • 7-9PM lets be leonard • 9-11PM

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The Schick Brothers • 6-8PM Black Water Mountain • 8-10P

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El Westside Sound System and Friends • 2-6PM The Winchester Local • 7-9PM

628 Jackson St | 210-320-1840 sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 39

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MUSIC

DANIELA RIOJAS

EMBED WITH THE BAND: FEMINA-X

Music for impeccable warriors TRAVIS BUFFKIN | @DTBUFFKIN

There may be nothing new under the sun, but there’s plenty of inspiration and style yet to be captured and commandeered, the carcass and bones of ingenuity left behind to burn and bleach in the form of one representation or another — a record, photograph or filmstrip.

This seems to be the philosophy of local everything-and-the-kitchensink sonic cosmonauts Femina-X and frontwoman Daniela Riojas, who is a recipient of several arts grants that if listed here would make her, and maybe myself, sound rather pretentious. But I only mention them because it highlights her grasp of and skill in numerous mediums. She conceptualizes, produces, directs and edits all of Femina-X’s music videos, photography and, along with Pop Pistol’s Alex Paul Scheel, was the initial driving force behind the organic-meets-industrial aesthetic for the band.

As for the music, “I’ve always liked the idea of sorta taking pieces from all sorts of different places, and me and Alex like a lot of similar genres and we wanted to have an opportunity to sort of mesh a lot of our different interests together. So, it was kind of like a fetish group from the beginning, like, ‘What if we put a hip-hop beat and then we turn it into drum and bass?’ Just kind of going wild with the possibilities,’” Riojas says

•

There's a bed down there somewhere.

sensitively but with conviction. thinking and this is precisely what And that’s what Femina-X does.

Castaneda and his teacher don Riojas, the music, the images they Juan would have warned against: produce and their entire aura is The cynicism of contemporary one fixated on indigenous, ethereal culture and “academia” rushes and often “feminine” modes of us to judgment, something along expression melded together with the lines of “Wow! They went modern musical soundscapes. and tripped balls and now they While the instrument think their music is some sort of accompaniment often forms sacred ritual.” Incidentally, you’d something in the wheelhouse of probably be right. a Björk, Portishead or Radiohead “When we had other people track, the lyrical content tackles join the group, everybody had what anthropologist Carlos their own interests and so, Castaneda would refer to as naturally, everybody wanted to realizing one’s impeccable nature experiment in their own way and as a warrior. Not a militant, mind now it’s become, like, this really you, but a sorceress capable of amazing, what I call a remezcla, divorcing what has been taught where it’s just very much and the frameworks that constrict pieced together from a lot of our thought with what is “being.” different places, a lot of different “Frida’s Heart,” a video centered influences, a lot of different around the San Antonio River cultures, heritages, flavors, and Brackenridge Park utilizes rhythms,” explains Riojas. these sites as sacred grounds for And that is what makes Feminaoffering and prayer and portrays X’s blending and unifying of the Riojas engaging in a ritualistic selfdigital and the indigenous, five sacrifice, presenting her own body different people realizing one as a gift to the river in exchange endeavor — swelling synth; distorted for its rebirth. The same theme of guitar; singing, droning and groaning honoring one’s forebears, returning violin; pummeling percussion and to and reclaiming a history that lyrics fixated on the cosmos and has been discarded as our place in and of it — a “primitive” runs through the new format for worship and Femina-X video for “INKA,” a songcommunion, for all. Because w/ Volcan as-ceremony filmed in Alto they are so invested in this Free 9pm Fri, June 3 Putamaya, Colombia while rite, it is instilled with power Riojas and Scheel “voyaged 502 Bar and potency.

502 Embassy Oaks with Ayahuasca shamans.”

(210) 257-8125 I know what you’re dtbuffkin@sacurrent.com 502bar.com sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 41

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42 CURRENT • June 1—7, 2016 • sacurrent.com

ONE OF TWELVE Do we actually need an African-American Music Appreciation Month?

ANTHONY DEAN-HARRIS | BOBBY LANE

June is African-American Music Appreciation Month. It’s also LGBT Pride Month as well as National Dysphagia Awareness Month and Fireworks Safety Month. The first week of June is National Headache Awareness Week and Sun Safety Week. This piece’s date of publication, June 1, is Stand for Children Day. As a society, we choose these days to collectively commemorate, to acknowledge and to call attention to issues. We care about things as individuals. We care in different ways in our assorted groupings. We do what we can to bring in others to advocate for our causes' relevance, vibrancy and maturation. Sure, something like National Headache Awareness Week can seem utterly frivolous and the question of who the hell made up such a thing and what makes it so official anyway arises — as if the mysterious Council of Headache sits on high, and woe to the one who crosses them; rumor has it they’re more powerful than the Beyhive. Yet it’s these moments, and the groups that champion them, that are doing what was intended — bringing us together for some purpose or another.

As it relates to this specific cause, June is AfricanAmerican Music Appreciation Month, though, as Carter G. Woodson noted in the appendix of The Mis-Education of the Negro, “Negro” is the most accurate term to refer to those of the African Diaspora since it, ironically enough, refers to a grouping of people more specifically than actual skin tone, which is extremely variable; Charlize Theron is African-American, the authors of this piece are black.

In 1979, the trio of songwriter/ producer Kenny Gamble and broadcasters Ed Wright and Dyana Williams, as part of the Black Music Association, a trade organization, spent a year lobbying President Jimmy Carter to institute Black Music Month as a response to the then recently established Country Music Month in October.

According to a 2013 interview The Root held with Gamble, the idea was that a commemorative month would bring additional attention and marketing dollars to one of the foundations of the music industry that has historically had its influence in plundered and whitewashed American musical landscape.

•

The king of jazz, Louis Armstrong (above), and hip-hop pioneer Rakim (left).

Outside of modern think-pieces, barber’s chairs and hair dryers older than a stack of faded Jet magazines, conversations on such matters aren’t too common now, and certainly weren’t back then. However, like many things about the Carter administration, it was a good idea that was mostly forgotten until black people called attention to it.

Thus, in 2000, at the tail end of President Bill Clinton’s administration, U.S. Representative Chaka Fattah sponsored House Resolution 509, formally recognizing the importance of black music on culture and the economy. The push went even further in 2009 as President Barack Obama designated June African-American Music Appreciation Month and has since made more concerted efforts to bring attention to black music.

Although acknowledgement of black excellence is appreciated, we must ask ourselves, is this recognition necessary?

What happens next and, more so, do all music lovers know the history and origins of our music in general? Yes, “our” music. That said, it’s not a matter of hoarding or stuffing it down people’s throats that all American music has black roots, nor am I being an asshole by saying so, because it does. It’s important to give credit where it’s due — the Alamo has its place in American history and has grand significance, same as the epic beat-down San Antonio would’ve given Austin in the taco showdown, but that’s neither here nor there.

For starters, the blues originated in the late 19th

century in the belly of the slave-riddled South and is the cornerstone of African-American music — its antecedent being birthed in Africa.

In the motherland, call-and-response chants were a staple of religious hymns and expression. Once arriving in the States, the format became a medium to fight oppression and sound-off dialectical warnings and information among slaves. By the end of slavery, we’d have a number of blues subgenres, eventually growing during the ’30s, ’40s and ’50s into such styles as the Piedmont blues, popularized by artists like Mississippi John Hurt and Blind Blake, the Delta blues of Son House and Robert Johnson and the Texas blues of Blind Lemon Jefferson and Lightnin’ Hopkins. Blues song structures subsequently gave rise to such white artists as Elvis Presley and Carl Perkins as well as rockabilly music, or white R&B. The genre was a hit among Caucasian audiences as it was perceived as easier on the ears of white listeners in the Jim Crow south.

Ragtime, a piano-driven predecessor of jazz, was popularized in 1895 by the “Father of Ragtime” Ernest Hogan, a comedian, singer and musician known for his outlandish minstrel shows and hit songs “Pas Ma La” and the reprehensibly titled “All Coons Look Alike to Me.” The latter was based on a piece Hogan heard a musician play in a salon in Chicago, originally entitled “All Pimps Look Alike to Me,” to which he added a cakewalk rhythm and changed the lyrics to fit into his performances, an action he would later regret. Hogan was also the first black CONTINUED ON PAGE 45 ►

sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 43

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•

(From left) Texas blues legend Lightnin' Hopkins, rock 'n' roll icon Chuck Berry and historian Carter G. Woodson. (Below) The sheet music for Hogan's ragtime minstrel piece and rap godfather Big Daddy Kane. ◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 43

entertainer to produce and star in a New York Broadway show, The Oyster Man, in 1907. Hogan would pass away from tuberculosis in 1909, but his successors, IrishAmerican Joseph Lamb and African-Americans James Scott and Scott Joplin, would further popularize the rollicking piano-driven sound, later leading to the New Orleansborn genre we know of as jazz.

Louis Armstrong, who is often credited with inventing the swinging syncopation so prevalent in jazz, and his tutor King Oliver, played a vital role in pushing the boundaries of the Dixieland style. Combining jazz and blues together were artists such as Cab Calloway and Louis Jordan, resulting in rhythm and blues, aka R&B music — the lover’s edition of southern music, if you will.

R&B touched many across the globe in the 1960’s and influenced a number of accomplished British acts like The Who and The Rolling Stones, the latter often pointing out their predecessors and, in so doing, helping to bridge the gap between white audiences and black music. The backbeat-heavy styles of R&B, soul and rock 'n' roll would eventually transition to funk, a more hopping take on the bluesy bounce of the earlier genres but with a more prominent bass presence, groovier drum beats and screeching horn arrangements.

Leapfrog to rap, the baby brother of soul, funk, reggae

and disco, and the most controversial genre by far. Rap has come a long way, yet the question is often still asked: Who are the owners and who are the laborers? White cats have it pretty hard in rap music. Just as basketball is primarily a black man’s sport, considering the pigmentation of its greatest players, there’s no difference in the rap game. Knowing this, white rappers must have a skill set that either matches or surpasses the "owners."

The cool part about the culture is there’s never been a wag of a finger discouraging non-blacks from stealing and borrowing from their black forebears, rather, a proper shout-out is in order. Eminem has been one of the most advanced rappers in our lifetime, and everyone knows it. He’s also made notable references to his inspirations and to those who sparked his interest, from Big Daddy Kane to Run DMC to Rakim, all the forefathers were impactful. And the beat goes on, throughout electro-pop, EDM, punk rock, Americana, country and any other American music — all a mixture of cultures and a mingling of inspirations.

Sadly, there’s no earthly way we could cover hundreds of years of music in a month, and why try?

When I first caught wind of African-American Music Appreciation Month’s existence, my initial thought

was “How did I not know anything about this? Is that a knock on my blackness, or have I been too busy enjoying the music to give a shit about a holiday handed to me … like I needed it?

Just like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, I simply don’t need a reminder to love and appreciate my parents.

The same can be said for African-American Music Appreciation Month. I get the gist and the point of origin — hoping the light will shine on our accomplishments and in our favor, letting people know our impact.

But the proof is in the pudding. There’s no Robin Thicke without Marvin Gaye, no Justin Timberlake bringing “Sexy Back” without Michael Jackson, Prince and Stevie Wonder, and so on and so forth.

Just for kicks, let’s say you ship a white Australian woman to the States, write a song, hand it to her and have her rap with a southern accent … Voila! You have a hit! Fancy that. All this being said, I do hope African-American Music Appreciation Month is highlighted in our school systems, although it most likely will not be, so that our children can learn more about the music they make and love.

Black music can be summarized as a lot of things: It’s the result of pain, passion, ingenuity and struggle but, mostly, it’s a product of love. The love to strive and prosper throughout any type of adversity and to transcend racial divisions for a greater expression. Many artists will come and go but one constant will remain: Black culture has and will continue to enrich American history forever, whether there’s a month devoted to it or not. sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 45

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sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 47

48 CURRENT • June 1—7, 2016 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

•

Glow on you crazy diamond.

MUSCLE AND SOUL Heavy Glow brings lusty blues-rock to The Mix

JAMES COURTNEY

Heavy Glow is a Texas band com, include the slinky, smooth, bluesy that ostensibly got its start in lament on our general dysfunction and San Diego but whose sound consumerism’s vapidity “Fat Cat,” the was forged in the workaday Midwest, slowly (and gloriously) intensifying, where lead guitarist, vocalist and main supernatural romantic dirge “Love creative force Jared Mullins grew up Ghost,” the vamping, stomping kiss off surrounded by the churning and pining “Nerve Endings” and “Headhunter,” sounds of blues, soul and classic the grooviest track on the record and psychedelic rock. something of a low-key anarchist anthem.

Equal parts chunky, junky and Meanwhile, Mullins told the San funky, the band’s sound grew in leaps Antonio Current last week that the and bounds from 2011’s Midnight band, which was recently picked up Moan to 2014’s Pearls & Swine and

by German stoner/psych rock label Everything Fine, trading in a Motor Kozmik Artifactz, is hard at work on its City, garage/cock-rock aesthetic for a third album, of which we should get a slightly silkier, cleaner and even more little taste at Thursday’s show. “That’s soulful approach. To my mind, a good really what these shows are about: approximation of Heavy Glow’s style in working out new material in front of a general is Cream meets Queens of the live audience,” Mullins said.

Stone Age. Lava lamp lasciviousness Since the group is known for putting pervades these sweaty, blues-infused, on raucous live shows, I asked Mullins alt-psych jams, which are as beefy as to sum up the band’s live approach. they are soulful. Here’s another way to His answer goes a long way to look at it: Heavy Glow’s sound, crafted describing Heavy Glow’s live set as largely by frontman Mullins, is the well as its vibe in general: “I’d liken it musical equivalent of your to a Pentecostal revival. I want favorite 1960s muscle car people to come to a Heavy Heavy Glow feat. with an engine that was fully Glow show, unleash their Harvey McLaughlin updated in 2001. burdens and participate in an & the BottomFeeders Standout tracks on Pearls event we call electric church $5 & Swine, which you’ll want — hopefully the power of the 9:30pm Thurs, Jun 2 The Mix to dig along with the band’s music [can free you] from the 2423 N. St. Mary’s St. first LP (and a few solid EPs) shackles of [your] everyday (210) 735-1313 over at heavyglow.bandcamp. themix-sa.com routine. That’s the goal.”

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MUSIC SUN

Wednesday, June 1

American Head Charge The former

tourmates of Minneapolis metal act American Head Charge make up an equally pathetic and righteous roster of rockers, consisting of Kittie, Slayer, Ministry and Mudvayne. With Motorgrater. Fitzgerald's, 7pm

Cliffside of the Pinkeyed Sky This

instrumental trio's stuttery grooves and herky-jerky compositions live where math and muted melody meet. With Inamorata, The Autumn Rhythm and Acceptable Losses. Hi-Tones, 9pm

Eric Hisaw Band Hardworking Texas

troubadour Eric Hisaw possesses a smooth smoker's croon and a band reminiscent of Dylan's, the younger. With Choctaw Wildfire. Sam's Burger Joint, 7pm

Funk, Oldies and R&B: All-Vinyl As

more and more youngin's pick up digital mixers and virtual DJ gear, essentially having the vast amount of work done for them, it's reassuring to see so many all-vinyl nights popping up. With DJ Plata. Tucker's Kozy Korner, 8pm

Thursday, June 2

Beatles Night Ranger Creek releases

their Hard Days Night Double IPA, which should make for a hard days morning.

The Blue Note Ringos break the taboo, covering the most "uncoverable" band of all time. The Cove, 6pm

Boyfrndz This Austin-based modern progrock group certainly has a shot at Rushing the mainstream with their newest release, Impulse. With Hikes and Bright Like the Sun. Limelight, 9pm

SAMANTHA MADNICK

5

Tiger Army

I’ll be perfectly honest, I haven’t listened to anything from California psychobilly band Tiger Army since their first three records, over 10 years ago. And I’m not going to. I don’t wanna dive back into something that meant so much to me and find that we’ve grown apart. To be fair, it seems that lead singer Nick 13 has had the same predicament. The tattooed frontman and only stable member has been hard at work pursuing a solo career rooted in the polyester-suited sounds of AM country, setting the Blake-inspired band aside for nearly a decade. Of course, Tiger Army has always dabbled in lighter Americana fare, “Outlaw Heart” and “In The Orchard” off of I and II, respectively, are fine additions to the neon cactus, smoking jacket lounge sound that seems to have been 13’s primary muse as of late. Tiger Army finds themselves in the enviable position of being the pick of the week because, at one time, hearing the crushed velvet of 13’s woeful tenor hit like an arrow through my heart and, although 13 has traded his cutoff Meteors Ts for nudie suits, he once had me convinced Tiger Army would never die. $24, 7pm, Alamo City Music Hall, 1305 E. Houston St., alamocitymusichall.com. dtbuffkin@sacurrent.com

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June 2

Madison

JUNE 4TH - THE REED BROTHERS

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Glitoris plays tribute to the electronic superstars of Denmark, Norway and Sweden, including Lykke Li, Miike Snow, Robyn, The Knife, Bjork, Royskopp, Fever Ray and Niki & The Dove. Brass Monkey, 10pm

June 3

Feel Good Fridays

JUNE 11TH - TURNPIKE TROUBADOURS PLUS OLD 97’S

Young Jesus Slightly older than eight-

pound-six-ounce newborn infant Jesus, LA via Chicago's Young Jesus heralds a return to the indie new sincerity movement of The Replacements and Weezer. With Brandon Cunningham and Akasha Glow. Imagine Books & Records, 8pm

June 4

Tka & Trinere - Freestyle Show

JUNE 12TH - HUEY LEWIS AND THE NEWS

Friday, June 3

At All Cost Austin's former kings of anti-

capitalist melodic-metal return from the grave marked "Distraction." With Eightfifteen, Illustrations and Hötzi. The Korova, 8pm

DJ Donnie Dee and DJ Jester the Filipino Fist Two of the region's

June 7

Andy Black

premier DJs spin pretty much whatever they want, but fear not rump-shakers and goth wallflowers, you're all covered.

The Mix, 10pm

JUNE 18 - OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW

Flamenco Friday: Pisando Fuerte

Spanish choreographers Miguel Vargas and Lidon Patiño's dance compositions are on display, along with other staple pieces from the 25-year history of the Guadalupe Dance Company. Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center, 8pm

June 8

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maintained by the Black Keys' Dan Auerbach and Dave Grohl before him, is where Levees sets up camp. With Otis the Destroyer, Nothing Chief and Fair Coyote.

Brick, 8pm

Lucas Jack Album Release and Farewell San Antonio Show

"Recovering attorney" Lucas Jack releases Make it Beautiful, barroom piano-pop inspired by Elton, Billy and the Bens (Kweller, Rector and Folds).

With Bekah Kelso & The Fellas. Sam's Burger Joint, 7pm

The Spiders Jazz Quintet Tony Romero

and co. take on the realest jazz tunes of the Fake Book. La Botánica, 9pm

Saturday, June 4

Chedda Da Connect H-Town's own invites you to peep his entrepreneurial skills on "Flicka Da Wrist," slang for cookin' up and slangin' rocks. With Pecvasso Gvng.

Alamo City Music Hall, 8pm

”Let’s Twist Again” The second

installment of the Legends of the Golden Oldies series tackles Elvis, Frankie Valli, Roy Orbison, The Beach Boys, The Beatles, The Monkees, Dusty Springfield, The Shangri-Las and more. No easy task, for sure. The Josephine Theatre, 7:30pm

Potions of the Caribbean DJs Isaiah.

FromTexas and Sonora (Peligrosa) turn up the tropical, spinning dancehall, reggae, hip hop, moombahton, dembow and other Caribbean-influenced music.

Southtown 101, 10pm

Purple Reign Don't be blue, get purple

and celebrate the passing of the leader of more musical revolutions than one.

Paper Tiger, 8pm

Sunday, June 5

Ballgag, Test, Deterioration, Agitate and Painful Existence Do you really

need me to tell you these groups play malevolent punk-metal? Nite Lite, 9pm

Joe Pug A schooled playwright, Pug's

literary handle has, for many, earned him the Valedictorian position in the new

school of road-weary folk troubadours.

Sam's Burger Joint, 6pm

San Antonio Symphony: Mahler's "Titan" The season’s closing program

features Music Director Sebastian LangLessing summoning expanded forces of the San Antonio Symphony in one of his signature works, Gustav Mahler’s elemental Symphony No. 1, “Titan,” also featuring German-born, Americantrained violinist Augustin Hadelich. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 2pm

Monday, June 6

Sound Gallery Sponsored by SA's

newest record store, Southtown Vinyl, the Deep South Collective and special guests spin all-vinyl sets of deep house and eclectic electronic grooves.

Paramour, 8pm

Valient Thorr Carrying the same torch of

tokage as party rockers Andrew WK and Eagles of Death Metal, Valient Thorr's good time metal music has opened up tours with Joan Jett, Fu Manchu, Motörhead and the aforementioned Eagles. With Hammer Fight and Pizza Bong. Jack's Patio Bar, 8pm

Whitesnake: The Greatest Hits Tour

From his early days with Deep Purple to the Jaguar hood-prowling nights with Tawny Kitaen, David Coverdale and Whitesnake have reached rock royalty status. With Whitford/St. Holmes.

Majestic Theatre, 8pm

Tuesday, June 7

Andy Black: The Homecoming Tour

Andy Biersack, singer of the metalcore group Black Veil Brides, has ridden a pubescent-powered wave to the forefront of the tattooed-from-head-totoe-before-I'm-25 mall-metal genre. The Rock Box, 6:30pm

2410 N. ST. MARY’S

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Berner: The Best Thing Smoking Tour

Burn one with the Wiz Khalifa affiliate and Taylor Gang signee who's been feeling the Bern long before your dorm roommate started volunteering for Sen. Sanders. Alamo City Music Hall, 7pm

Alamo City Music Hall 1305 E. Houston St., alamocitymusichall.com Brass Monkey 2702 N. St. Mary's St., (210) 480-4722, facebook.com/brassmonkeytx Brick 108 Blue Star, (210) 262-8653, facebook.com/brickatbluestar Fitzgerald’s 437 McCarty Road, (210) 629-5141 facebook.com/fitzgeraldsbarsa.com Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center 723 Brazos St., (210) 271-3151, guadalupeculturalarts.org Hi-Tones 621 E. Dewey Pl., hitonessa.com Imagine Books & Records 8373 Culebra Road, (210) 236-7668, imaginebookstore.com Jack's Patio Bar 3030 Thousand Oaks, (210) 494-2309, jacksbarsa.com La Botánica 2911 N. St. Mary’s St., vivalabotanica.com Limelight 2718 N. St. Mary’s St., thelimelightsa.com Majestic Theatre 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-5700, majesticempire.com Nite Lite 714 Fredericksburg Road, nitelitesa.com Paper Tiger 2410 N. St Mary’s St., papertigersa.com Paramour 102 9th St., (210) 340-9880, paramourbar.com Phantom Room 2106 N. St. Mary’s St. Sam’s Burger Joint 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com Southtown 101 101 Pereida St., (210) 263-9880 The Cove 606 W. Cypress St., (210) 227-2683, thecove.us The Josephine Theatre 339 W. Josephine St., (210) 734-4646, josephinetheatre.org The Korova 107 E. Martin St., (210) 226-5070, thekorova.com The Mix 2423 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 735-1313, themix-sa. com The Rock Box 1223 E. Houston St., (210) 279-9430, therockboxsa.com Tobin Center for the Performing Arts 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org Tucker's Kozy Korner 1338 E. Houston St., (210) 320-2192

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> If I first met someone on a hookup site or at a sex party and then we start seeing each other, what’s the best way to explain how we met when we’re at a social event and people ask?

Torrid Revelations Undermining Totally Honesty The truth is always nice — and in your case, TRUTH, telling the truth about your relationship could be constructive.

There are a lot of people out there in loving committed relationships (LCR) that had crazy sleazy starts (CSS). But very few people in a LCR with a CSS tell the truth when asked how they met.

A couple who met at a sex party will say they met at a dinner party, a couple that met inside a cage in a sex dungeon will say they met doing a team-building exercise at a work retreat, a couple that met during an impulsive, drunken threesome will say they met at a riotous protest outside a Trump rally.

These lies are understandable: People don’t want to be judged or shamed. But when a CSS couple lies about how they met, TRUTH, they reinforce the very shame and stigma that made them feel like they had to lie in the first place. And they play into the sex-negative, self-defeating and super-hypocritical assumption made by singles who attend sex parties, spend time in cages and have impulsive threesomes — these single people who do sleazy things often refuse to date the people they meet at sex parties, etc., because they believe no LCR ever had a CSS. If couples that had sleazy starts told the truth about themselves, single people would be less likely to rule out dating people they met sleazily. > I despised your advice to LIBIDOS, the poly married woman who you counseled to have sex with her husband even though she has zero desire to do so. You came close to telling her to throw away her consent. Somewhere between a third and half of women have been sexually assaulted. Would it be possible for most of them to suck it up and sleep with someone they had no desire for without ending up resenting or hating that

SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage

person? Even if LIBIDOS won life’s coin toss on sexual assault, she would most likely come to resent her husband if she had passionless sex with him. From the husband’s perspective — assuming he’s not a piece of shit who thinks he’s entitled to sex but rather just wants a sexual connection with his wife — wouldn’t being lied to in this way ruin him? I also don’t think you would’ve given this advice to a gay man — to let his husband fuck him the ass, even if he didn’t want to get fucked. The truth is really the only solution here. The road you set this woman down leads only to bitterness and divorce.

Seriously Horrified About That LIBIDOS, a poly woman with a boyfriend (who she’s fucking) and a husband (who no one is fucking), asked me if she should “force” herself to fuck her husband. She also mentioned having a kid and not wanting to get divorced. And it was my opinion — an opinion she sought out — that she might wanna fuck her husband once in a while. Advice isn’t binding arbitration, SHAT, and if fucking her husband is a traumatizing ordeal, as opposed to a dispiriting chore, she should ignore my advice and keep not fucking her husband. And seeing as LIBIDOS asked me if she should fuck her husband, it seemed safe to assume that she was open to the idea.

You weren’t the only reader to take me to task for my advice to LIBIDOS. Apparently, there are lots of people out there who don’t realize how many long-marrieds — men and women, gay and straight, poly and mono — fuck their spouses out of a grim sense of duty. It seems a bit extreme to describe that kind of sex as a consent-free/sexualassault-adjacent trauma. Choosing in the absence of coercion to go through the marital motions to keep your spouse happy is rarely great sex — for either party — but slapping the nonconsensual label on joyless-but-trauma-free marital sex is neither helpful nor accurate.

On the Lovecast, Emily Bazelon and Mistress Matisse on decriminalizing prostitution: savagelovecast.com.

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ACROSS

1 Alter, as text 6 Does in, slangily 10 Org. that enforces liquid regulations 13 Carpenter’s joint 14 Pouty expressions 16 “Bali ___” 17 Ibsen play with unintelligible dialogue?

19 Shade thrower?

20 “And that’s the way ___” 21 Chekhov play about the empty spaces in wine barrels?

23 Cleveland cager, for short 24 Classic 1950 film noir 25 First-year class, slangily 26 “Family Feud” host Harvey 28 Geek blogger Wheaton 31 Golfer Isao ___ 32 Group with pitchforks and torches 36 Captain Hansen of “Deadliest Catch” 37 O’Neill play about a brandnew theater?

41 “Oedipus ___” 42 “California Dreamin’” singer 43 Speedy breed of steed, for short 45 Prevailed 46 Like some IPAs 50 T-shirt store freebie, maybe 52 Dot-___ boom

54 “Much ___ About Nothing” 55 With 61-Across, Williams play about living quarters on a tram?

59 “___ American Life” 60 Canadian singer/songwriter ___ Naked 61 See 55-Across 63 Honolulu hangable 64 The Care Bear ___ 65 13th-century Mongol invader 66 “C’___ la vie!”

67 Tissue issue 68 Drummer Peter of Kiss

DOWN

1 Business school subject 2 Convene in 3 Fancy salad green 4 They can mean “yes” 5 Hereditary helix 6 University of Nebraska campus site 7 “Watch out for flying golf balls!”

8 Afrocentric clothing line since 1992 9 Behave like a bear 10 “What’s good for ___ ...”

11 Marketing rep’s product package 12 Aspires to greatness 15 Starter starter?

18 “Little” car in a 1964 hit 22 First name of a Fighting Irish legend 24 Jean jacket material 27 “Wet/dry” buy 28 Jane who divorced Reagan 29 ‘98 Apple 30 Last word of a Ricky Martin hit 33 Chew like a beaver 34 San ___ (Italian Riviera city) 35 “___ Buddies” (Tom Hanks sitcom) 37 Like bartered things 38 Inquisition targets 39 Tailor’s goal 40 AOL competitor, once 44 Where Moscow Mules may be served 47 “Mutiny on the Bounty” island 48 Nike competitor 49 Difficult questions 51 Microscope piece 52 Air Force student 53 Boston Bruins Hall of Famer Bobby 56 Grub 57 IRS agent, for short 58 0, in Spain 59 Emperor that hasn’t been around for 99 years 62 Enumeration shortcut

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): The voices in our heads are our constant companions. They fill our inner sanctuary with streams of manic commentary. Often we’re not fully cognizant of the bedlam, since the outer world dominates our focus. But as soon as we close our eyes and turn our attention inward, we’re immersed in the jabbering babble.

That’s the bad news, Aries. Now here’s the good news. In the coming weeks you will have far more power than usual to ignore, dodge, or even tamp down the jabbering babble.

As a result, you may get a chance to spend unprecedented amounts of quality time with the still, small voice at your core — the wise guide that is often drowned out by all the noise.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): We are inclined to believe that the best way to see the whole picture or the complete story is from above. The eagle that soars overhead can survey a vast terrain in one long gaze. The mountaintop perspective affords a sweeping look at a vast landscape. But sometimes this perspective isn’t perfectly useful. What we most need to see may be right next to us, or nearby, and it’s only visible if our vision is narrowly focused. Here’s how poet Charles Bernstein expresses it: “What’s missing from the bird’s eye view is plain to see on the ground.” Use this clue in the coming weeks.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): I foresee fertile chaos in your immediate future, Gemini. I predict lucky accidents and smoldering lucidity and disciplined spontaneity. Do you catch the spirit of what I’m suggesting? Your experiences will not be describable by tidy theories. Your intentions will not fit into neat categories. You will be a vivid embodiment of sweet paradoxes and crazy wisdom and confusing clarity. Simple souls may try to tone you down, but I hope you will evade their pressure as you explore the elegant contradictions you encounter.

Love your life exactly as it is! Methodical improvisations will be your specialty. Giving gifts that are both selfish and unselfish will be one of your best tricks. “Healing extremes” will be your code phrase of power.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): According to many sources on the Internet, “werifesteria” is an obscure word from Old English. But my research suggests it was in fact dreamed up within the last few years by a playful hoaxster. Regardless of its origins, I think it’s an apt prescription to fix what’s bugging you. Here’s the definition: “to wander longingly through the forest in search of mystery and adventure.”

If you are not currently seeking out at least a metaphorical version of that state, I think you should be. Now is an excellent time to reap the catalytic benefits of being willingly lost in a wild, idyllic, relaxing setting.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): I’m debating about which of your astrological houses will be your featured hotspot in the coming days.

I’m guessing it will come down to two options: your House of Valid Greed and your House of Obligatory Sharing. The House of Valid Greed has a good chance to predominate, with its lush feasts and its expansive moods. But the House of Obligatory Sharing has an austere beauty that makes it a strong possibility, as well. Now here’s the trick ending, Leo: I’d like to see if you can emphasize both houses equally; I hope you’ll try to inhabit them both at the same time. Together they will grant you a power that neither could bestow alone.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): Between now and July 25, there’s a chance you will reach the peak of a seemingly unclimbable mountain. You could win a privilege that neither you nor anyone else ever dreamed was within your reach. It’s possible you’ll achieve a milestone you’ve been secretly preparing for since childhood. Think I’m exaggerating, Virgo? I’m not. You could break a record for the biggest or best or fastest, or you might finally sneak past an obstacle that has cast a shadow over your self-image for years.

And even if none of these exact events comes to pass, the odds are excellent that you will accomplish another unlikely or monumental feat. Congratulations in advance!

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): “My

laid, chickens who might possibly lay eggs, birds who from afar might be confused with chickens.” I recommend this strategy for you in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. Experiment with the pleasure of being wide open to surprises.

Cultivate a mood of welcoming one-of-a-kind people, things, and events. Be so empty you have ample room to accommodate an influx of new dispensations. As James Guida concludes: “Not to count or think of chickens.”

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19): “No gift is ever exactly right for me,” mourns Capricorn poet James Richardson. Don’t you dare be like him in the coming days. Do whatever you must to ensure that you receive at least one gift that’s exactly right for you. Two gifts would be better; three sublime. Here’s another thought from Richardson: “Success repeats itself until it is a failure.” Don’t you dare illustrate that theory.

Either instigate changes in the way you’ve been achieving success, or else initiate an entirely new way. Here’s one more tip from Richardson: “Those who demand consideration for their sacrifices were making investments, not sacrifices.” Don’t you dare be guilty of that sin. Make sacrifices, not investments. If you do, your sacrifices will ultimately turn out to be good investments.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18): Life will invite you to explore the archetype of the Ethical Interloper in the coming days. The archetype of the Helpful Transgressor may tempt you, as well, and even the Congenial Meddler or the Compassionate Trickster might look appealing. I urge you to consider experimenting with all of these. It will probably be both fun and productive to break taboos in friendly ways. You could reconnoiter forbidden areas without freaking anyone out or causing a troublesome ruckus. If you’re sufficiently polite and kind in expressing your subversive intentions, you might leave a trail of good deeds in your wake.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): Your theme comes from the title of a poem by Fortesa Latifi: “I Am Still Learning How to Do the Easy Things.” During the next phase of your astrological cycle, I invite you to specialize in this study. You may imagine that you are already a master of the simple, obvious arts of life, but here’s the news: Few of us are. And the coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to refine your practice. Here’s a good place to start: Eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired, and give love when you’re lonely.

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

mother gave birth to me once, yeah yeah yeah,” writes author Sara Levine. “But I’ve redone myself a million times.” I’m sure she is not demeaning her mom’s hard work, but rather celebrating her own. When’s the last time you gave birth to a fresh version of yourself? From where I stand, it looks like the next 12 to 15 months will be one of those fertile phases of reinvention. And right now is an excellent time to get a lightning-flash glimpse of what the New You might look like.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): Author Rebecca Solnit offers some tough advice that I think you could use. “Pain serves a purpose,” she says. “Without it you are in danger. What you cannot feel you cannot take care of.” With that in mind, Scorpio, I urge you to take full advantage of the suffering you’re experiencing. Treat it as a gift that will motivate you to transform the situation that’s causing you to hurt. Honor it as a blessing you can use to rise above the mediocre or abusive circumstances you have been tolerating.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21): Aphorist James Guida contemplates the good results that can come from not imposing expectations on the raw reality that’s on its way. “Not to count chickens before they’re hatched,” he muses, “or eggs before they’re

sacurrent.com • June 1—7, 2016 • CURRENT 61

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