San antonio current february 3, 2016

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2016

SAN ANTONIO

power trio Meet the women of SA's newest dive, The Bang Bang Bar

sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 3

Join us for the 2nd Annual

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BLONDES VS BRUNETTES GAME DAY

BLONDES VS BRUNETTES: A flag football fundraiser to TACKLE Alzheimer’s Disease! Local women working for a common cause: to end Alzheimer’s Disease!

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We are recruiting women and men. Ladies play ball but anyone can coach and cheer on this awesome event. Join Team Blonde or Team Brunette, Redheads are free agents!

Tickets: $20 includes game & tailgate after party with live music by Mark Monaco & The Strayhearts Band to purchase your ticket or for more information contact Brooke Craig - bcraig@alz.org | 210.237.1041 Toyota Field | 5103 David Edwards Dr. | SA, TX 78233 Follow us on Blondes vs. Brunettes San Antonio All proceeds benefit the Alzheimer’s Association | alz.org/BvB 4 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

PUBLIC ON SALE FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 5 AT 10AM

For a complete listing of all eligible and non-eligible Card products, visit us at americanexpress.com/entertainment. Tickets subject to applicable service charges. Offer may be revoked at any time at sole discretion of American Express. All dates, acts and ticket prices subject to change without notice. Tickets are from limited inventory and subject to availability. Terms, conditions and restrictions apply. © 2016 American Express Company. sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 5

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6 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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Senior Editors: Bryan Rindfuss, Jessica Elizarraras Interim Art Director: Sarah Flood-Baumann Food & Nightlife Editor: Jessica Elizarraras Music Editor: Travis Buffkin Staff Writers: Mark Reagan, Michael Marks Contributors: Alexis Barnhart, Ron Bechtol, Ainsley Caffrey, Erik Casarez, Murphi Cook, James Courtney, Callie Enlow, Jade Esteban Estrada, Dan R. Goddard, Lance Higdon, Steven G. Kellman, Lauren Madrid, Kiko Martínez, Jeremy Martin, Jeff Meyers, Eric Moreno, M. Solis, Gary Sweeney, J.D. Swerzenski Editorial Interns: Carlo Jagge, Gabriela Mata, James McCandless, Shannon Sweet, Patricia Valdez

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sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 7

IN THIS

FIRST WORDS

1

On “How Do You Build a Water Park for People with Special Needs?” // Lisa Kirby Cason: My son has an upper limb impairment and can’t do everything at water parks like he wants. This is exciting news for people with impairments and special needs!

On “SA’s MLK March Matters, but the Fight for Justice Is Year-round” // Jeanette Elizabeth Giberson: Instead of protesting; go volunteer at the elementary schools, the community centers, the nursing homes. Clean up neighborhoods and their parks.

Actions speak louder than words!

On “SAPD Officers Now Patrolling Prospects Courtyard at Haven for Hope” // Carol Steele: The court yard is a choice for those who do not want to enter into a program and it is on the outside of Haven.

These issues do not happen once you enter a program.

The news just want to stir up crap. Haven is making a difference. Educate yourself people!!! [sic] On “Check Out This 30-foot Tall Art Installation at the Expanded Henry B. González Convention Center” // Jay Elizalde: Dude just trolled us all and walked away with $1M. LOL. • Send your thoughts, comments or kudos to letters@sacurrent.com

19

ISSUE Issue 16_05 /// February 3-9, 2015

10

NEWS

Newsmonger Tables Turned // Ethics Shake-up // Challenging Texas

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CALENDAR

Our top picks for the week

Go Downtown Will a new Downtown restroom provide relief?

27

SCREENS

22

ARTS + CULTURE

Sibling Cities Have you ever heard of sister cities? San Anto has nine Couture Diary Twirl salon creative director Lisa Weller shares highfashion snaps from Paris couture week

35

FOOD

Funny Is Funny San Antonian Carol Burnett on what’s (still) funny

Super Snacks Foods to try for the big game

Climate Change Thaws Marriage The strength of one couple’s union is tested in 45 Years

Flavor File Are you ready for Valentine’s Day?

41

NIGHTLIFE

In with a Bang Two-thirds of Girl in a Coma and former Martini Ranch owner open a bar

Seinfeld Still Kills The art behind Seinfeld’s absurdity

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MUSIC

So Good at Being in Trouble Unknown Mortal Orchestra’s ringmaster speaks Naughty Thoughts Vin Rock from Naughty By Nature reflects back upon hiphop and its future directions Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

8 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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ON THE ETC.

Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology This Modern World

COVER The owners of The Bang Bang Bar, seen here in their vinyl-lined nook, share what it’s like to take on the bar industry.

Photographer Louie Preciado Art direction by Rick Fisher and Sarah Flood-Baumann

sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 9

NEWS

MATTHEW GARZA

•

Mayor Ivy R. Taylor (right) is at the center of an ethics shake-up at City Hall.

NEWSMONGER Tables Turned // Ethics Shake-up // Challenging Texas Tables Turned Indictments against two anti-abortion activists from the Center for Medical Progress — its founder, David Daleiden, and Susan Merritt — were handed down by a grand jury last week. The two were indicted on charges of tampering with governmental records. The pair used fake California driver’s licenses to sneak into a Gulf Coast Planned Parenthood facility while they were making a Criterion Collection of heavily edited films purporting to show the reproductivehealthcare organization selling fetal tissue — or baby parts, according to a flock of squawking Texas Republican politicians who called for investigations into Planned Parenthood after the doctored videos were released last year.

Here’s the irony — and it’s strong: Daleiden is additionally charged with attempting to purchase fetal tissue.

That’s against the law.

But, wait, there’s more.

Lone Star State Lt. Governor Dan Patrick, a Tea Party favorite, is the one who first called on Harris County’s Republican district attorney to investigate the clinic. And Texas Governor Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton, 10 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

MARK REAGAN/@210REAGAN

who faces growing legal problems in two separate criminal cases, both ordered their own investigations, which they vowed would continue.

But damage has already been done.

Texas’ benevolent leaders have cut Planned Parenthood from Medicaid funding, and slashed grant money for the organization’s Houston-area HIV prevention program. And, of course, the state’s controversial 2013 abortion law drastically reduced a woman’s access to abortion services, which is finally on the Supreme Court’s docket.

Ethical Shake-up On January 14, just two San Antonio City Council members — Rey Saldaña and Ron Nirenberg — voted against Mayor Ivy R. Taylor’s proposal to waive any ethics complaints filed against her for a conflict of interest she was engaged in with the San Antonio Housing Authority (SAHA).

Taylor said in a statement that the effort was one of transparency.

Her husband, Rodney, has received $430,000 in rental subsidies from SAHA since 2010, and he continued collecting them until November 1, 2015, more than a year after she was appointed interim mayor in July 2014, the San Antonio Express-News has reported. Taylor beat former state Senator Leticia Van de Putte in a June 2015 run-off election.

Since City Council approved Taylor’s waiver proposal 8-2, Saldaña and Nirenberg have filed a request for an

ordinance that would remove the ability of public officials to bring ethics waiver proposals. Councilman Roberto C. Treviño has offered up his own proposal, one that would tweak the City Councilappointed Ethics Review Board by hiring an independent ethics officer not hired

by City Council.

As for Saldaña and Nirenberg’s proposal, Taylor has pushed it to the annual review of the Ethics Review Board in February, and additionally promised expansion of the Ethics Office’s authority in her charge to the Citizens Charter Review Commission in February or March. That’s because Saldaña and Nirenberg didn’t reach out to her.

“I fully support my council colleagues’ interest in clarifying and strengthening the role of the Ethics Review Board,” Taylor said in a statement. “While it’s not legally possible to permanently tie the hands of future councils — and since Councilmembers Saldaña and Nirenberg didn’t reach out to me before writing their CCR [council consideration request], I’m not sure that’s even what they are intending.”

Or, she’s just kicking the ethical can.

Challenging Texas Last week, the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund filed a lawsuit challenging a harboring provision in Texas’ massive 2015 $300 million-plus “border security” bill.

MALDEF is representing Jonathan Ryan, executive director of the Refugee and Immigrant Center for Education and Legal Services (RAICES), San Antonio landlord David Cruz and Farmers Branch landlord Valentine Reyes, both of whom don’t ask tenants about immigration status.

You may remember Dallas suburb Farmers Branch from its controversial ordinance that attempted to prohibit landlords from renting to undocumented immigrants, which was struck down by lower courts before the Supreme Court declined to hear the city’s appeal in 2014.

All three say they fear law enforcement could arrest them since Reyes and Cruz rent to undocumented immigrants, and because part of RAICES’ work includes housing undocumented immigrants in a shelter.

The law’s author, Republican state Rep. Dennis Bonnen, told the Associated Press that the lawsuit was frivolous, saying the bill never meant to encompass shelters, aid workers and landlords.

Now that assertion is up to the courts. mreagan@sacurrent.com

BEXAR-O-METER Checking the temperature of events in Bexar County and beyond

LUMINARIA Take two announced at SAMA for Feb. 19 CREAM OF THE CROP Gregg Popovich to coach All-Star team TRAFFIC JAM Texas pledges $1.3 billion to ease congestion 300 YEARS San Antonio unveils tricentennial logo CONVENTION CENTER Massively expanded space opens REPUBLICAN PRIMARY Dump Trump, already ZIKA VIRUS Bexar County residents tested

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sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 11

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12 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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NEWS

GO DOWNTOWN

Will a new Downtown restroom relieve problems or create them?

MICHAEL MARKS/@MICHAELPMARKS

The most common sign in Downtown San Antonio, it seems, isn’t a neon “Open” sign or directions to the River Walk. It’s a phrase plastered to the interior of countless shops and restaurants: “No Public Restrooms.”

Public and private San Antonio entities have spent considerable time and money to lure people Downtown.

Though a few public restrooms are scattered throughout the area, all of them have restricted hours and are out of order from time to time.

That’s a problem, according to Councilman Roberto C. Treviño, an architect whose district includes much of Downtown. But a pilot project he’s spearheading could provide a solution.

Within the next three months, the City of San Antonio will install a Portland Loo somewhere Downtown. The Portland Loo, named for the Oregon city where they’re manufactured, is a free public restroom open 24 hours a day. Over a dozen cities have purchased them since 2007.

“We’ll spend half a million to a million dollars building a restroom facility and then we’ll lock it up. There’s a problem with that. People need to use the restroom at all hours of the day,” Treviño said.

Pat DiGiovanni, president and CEO of Centro San Antonio, called providing more public bathrooms Downtown a “common sense” step to improve the area.

“If I invited you to my home and you asked to use the restroom, and I said, ‘I don’t have one, you’ll have to go across the street,’ I’m not sure you’d come back to my home,” DiGiovanni said.

The Portland Loo costs about $90,000. That doesn’t include the cost of hookup to sewer and water lines, which Treviño said would probably be “nominal,” but has cost more than the loo itself in some cities. Cleaning, maintenance and upkeep will cost about $1,000 a month.

Treviño thinks the need justifies the price.

“We want more and more people to come Downtown, and we need to make downtown more accessible. This is one of the basic services that the city is supposed to be providing,” Treviño said.

Built Like a Tank Without an exterior restroom sign, it would be tough to tell that the Portland Loo was a place to go to the bathroom. But that’s what it is – and it’s no mere Porta Potty. The Portland Loo is constructed out of stainless steel and anchored to a concrete slab (Treviño described it as “a tank”). There are few moving parts, with a pushbutton, gravity-driven flushing mechanism and a handwashing station on the outside. Each of Portland’s seven

•

The exterior (above) and interior of a Portland Loo

loos are flushed roughly 250 times per day.

Evan Madden of Madden Fabrication, the company that makes the loos, said the restrooms are designed to be as low-maintenance as possible. And with over eight years of experience troubleshooting, he thinks the company has worked out most of the kinks.

“Everything that’s had a chance to fail, it’s failed in Portland,” Madden said.

That includes both mechanical and crime-related problems. Public restrooms elsewhere have become hubs for drug use, prostitution and squatters who essentially turn them into miniature residences.

“You give people enough privacy, it becomes their art gallery, or a place to do something illegal,” Madden said. “It’s not a solution to drug use, it’s not a solution to prostitution.”

But the loo is designed to mitigate these problems.

There are slits at the top and bottom for ventilation so that it’s nearly impossible to hide – without compromising privacy. A blue overhead LED light turns on when someone enters the bathroom. Its exterior is coated with a substance that makes it easy to remove spray paint or marker.

Of the 24 loos Madden has installed, only one has been removed. A San Diego, California loo (one of two the city ordered) got the boot after installation became more expensive than anticipated, and business owners complained that it became a focal point for crime and the homeless population, which repelled potential customers.

The design is just as important as the loo’s placement and supervision, Madden said. San Antonio’s first loo will likely be in a high-traffic area Downtown. Although a permanent home hasn’t been selected, possible locations include Travis Park, Milam Park, the southeast corner of

Navarro Street and Crockett Street, and Commerce Street at Santa Rosa.

“You’ve Got to Do What You’ve Got to Do” Public urination is a problem Downtown, but DiGiovanni said it’s “an unfair expectation” to presume local businesses should help solve it by opening their doors to all go-ers.

San Antonio’s loo will join a skimpy lineup of Downtown public restrooms, including ones at Main Plaza, the parking garage at St. Mary’s Street and Travis Street, and at Centro Info on Commerce Street. A city employee who wasn’t authorized to talk about the situation and asked to remain anonymous said that the restrooms at Centro Info had been out of operation for over a week.

The employee said she’d recently heard about the forthcoming Portland Loo, and she’s skeptical about the impact it will make.

“That ain’t gonna do it,” she said. “It’s a lot of money for just one bathroom. They say it’s indestructible – we’ll see.”

Tourists and homeless people primarily use the Centro Info restroom, the employee said. Fred Christa, a homeless man who spends most of his time on Commerce Street, said not having it for the past week “has been a pain.”

“All the other places, they want you to buy something [to use the restroom]. The homeless, we can’t, we don’t have no money,” Christa said.

When Christa can’t make it to a public restroom, or when they are all closed, he goes to the bathroom around (or in) a Dumpster in some secluded alleyway.

“When you’re eating Dumpster food, it messes with your stomach,” Christa said. “I hate to do it, but you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.” mmarks@sacurrent.com sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 13

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14 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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CALENDAR

GETTY IMAGES WED

3

Spurs vs. Pelicans SPORTS

There have been 221 head coaching changes in the NBA since Gregg Popovich took control of the Spurs in 1996. Heading into this season, optimism abounded in New Orleans.

The young Pelicans reached the playoffs by besting the champion Spurs, signed Anthony Davis to a multiyear contract and brought new coach Alvin Gentry into the fold. Having battled injuries early on, the Pelicans have underwhelmed and currently sit last in the Southwest Division. There are already grumblings about Gentry’s new system and rotations, but unless you go by Pop and are deemed infallible, such is life in the NBA. $20-$1,952, 7:30pm, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center Pkwy., (210) 444-5000, attcenter.com. — M. Solis

16 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

WED

3

Think No Think, Dark Planes, Garrett T. Capps MUSIC

ATX fuzz-rock outfit Think No Think’s single “432 Dreams” is a hipster take on the Bo Diddley beat, with lyrics “you dig my bones,” sung over the grungy drive of a chorus, keeping it from getting too Misfits-y with intermittent sleigh bells and guitar twang. The Alamo City’s own Dark Planes milk the same raw udders as The Stooges, MC5 and Lou Reed — but with enough ‘tude and melanin to actually make it work. And fellow San Antonian Garrett T. Capps very well may be an illegitimate heir to the Jerry Jeff Walker throne, if country music pulls its head out of its bedazzled ass. $5, 9pm, Limelight, 2718 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 735-7775, thelimelightsa.com.

— Travis Buffkin

THU

4

‘Landscape Under Your Feet’ ART

Not to be confused with the Bill Miller Bar-B-Q co-founder, Bill Miller is a Cleveland-born collage artist and founding member of Pittsburgh’s Industrial Arts Co-op, a collective that constructed large-scale sculptures from salvaged materials inside abandoned buildings. Using vintage linoleum flooring as an artistic medium, Miller creates everything from “bucolic landscapes to surrealistic, fiercely political pieces.” San Angel Folk Art’s latest brings together a selection of mosaics showcasing Miller’s mastery with an unlikely material imbued with “nostalgic familiarity.” Free, 5-7pm, San Angel Folk Art, 110 Blue Star, (210) 226-6688, sanangelfolkart.com.

— Bryan Rindfuss

FRI

5

Chulita Vinyl Club OneYear Anniversary MUSIC

In the past year, Chulita Vinyl Club, headed by Claudia Saenz (aka DJ Teardrop), has carved out a space for women to share their musical tastes and talents. The SA/ATX-rooted, all-girl, allvinyl DJ crew encourages and empowers women by creating a sense of community and reclaiming the DJ booth, an often male-dominated affair. In their first year, Chulita DJs have rocked mad shows and inspired countless ladies to trust their own musical knowledge and passion.

On Friday, celebrate this powerful movement in person as Chulita Vinyl Club celebrates its one-year anniversary. Free, 10pm, The Bang Bang Bar, 119 El Mio Drive, (210) 320-1187, facebook.com/ thebangbangbar210. — James Courtney

CALENDAR

SIGGI RAGNAR FRI-SUN

5-7

Jesus Christ Superstar THEATER

After finding surprise success with their 1970 concept album Jesus Christ Superstar, composer Andrew Lloyd Webber and lyricist Tim Rice developed the rock opera into a spirited Broadway production based loosely on the last week of Christ’s life. Sung through in slang-infused show tunes — including the groovy “What’s the Buzz,” title track “Superstar” and torch ballad “I Don’t Know How to Love Him” — the groundbreaking musical presents Christ as something of a celebrity sell-out while shining a forgiving light on his betrayer Judas Iscariot. Rick Sanchez directs The Playhouse’s production. $12-$30, 8pm Fri-Sat, 3pm Sun, The Playhouse, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258, theplayhousesa.org. — BR

SAT

6

A.B. Quintanilla & The Kumbia King All Starz MUSIC

Without older brother Abraham, the Selena catalog would be a few cuts short of a greatest hits CD. In addition to his slightly corny and totally awesome production talent, A.B. is responsible for penning “Como La Flor,” “Amor Prohibido” and “No Me Queda Más.” After the loss of his sister, Quintanilla doubled down on the rhythm that made his family a household name, founding Los Kumbia Kings and Kumbia All Starz. As the frontman of his current nonet, Quintanilla trades out the family-friendly image of Los Dinos for leather and ink. Naturally, his irresistible rhythmic sense hangs tough. $15, 8:30pm, 210 Kapone’s, 1223 E. Houston St., (210) 279-9430, 210kapones.com.

— Matt Stieb

SAT-SUN

6-7

The Abduction from the Seraglio OPERA

The mashup, most closely associated with DJs and mixtapes, typically consists of fusing two seemingly incongruous pieces of music and creating a wholly new piece, with the added benefit of calling into focus certain key elements in the originals. This weekend, experience an unexpected level of mashup as Opera Piccola of San Antonio blends the Star Trek universe with one of Mozart’s most far-out operas: Abduction from the Seraglio. The degree of rewarding intertextuality between the two worlds remains to be seen, but the mere concept is pure genius. $15-$35, 8pm Sat, 2:30pm Sun, Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, 226 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — JC

TUE

9

Chicana Great Books Series WORDS

Presented by Gemini Ink, a constant beacon of literary light, the Chicana Great Books Series is a call to celebrate and explore four particularly impactful works of literature. Kicking off with Sandra Cisneros’ classic The House on Mango Street, a joyful/ sorrowful coming-of-age tale told in a set of vignettes, the series will be moderated by San Antonio College English professor Patricia Portales. All are welcome to join in the discussion and encouraged to relish in the sharing of personal insights. The inaugural event kicks off with a performance

by Monessa Esquivel and a wine and cheese reception. Free, 6:30pm, Gemini Ink, 1111 Navarro St., (210) 734-9673, geminiink.org. — JC

sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 17

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Valid 2/3/2016-2/13/2016 in San Antonio, TX only.

Valid in-store only.

Valid 2/3/2016-2/13/2016 in San Antonio, TX only.

Valid in-store only.

Valid 2/3/2016-2/13/2016 in San Antonio, TX only.

Valid in-store only.

Reg. $10.99

California. 750ml Limit 2 btls.

SAVE 2

Reg. $12.57

Joel Gott Cabernet

SAVE $4

SAVE 3

$

$

$30.99

$13.99

$15.99

Svedka Vodka, 80

Bacardi Superior Rum, 80

Jack Daniel’s Black Bourbon, 80

Valid 2/3/2016-2/13/2016 in San Antonio, TX only.

Valid in-store only.

Valid 2/3/2016-2/13/2016 in San Antonio, TX only.

Valid in-store only.

Valid 2/3/2016-2/13/2016 in San Antonio, TX only.

Valid in-store only.

15.99

34.99

18.99

1.75L Limit 2 btls.

1.75L Limit 2 btls.

SAVE $2

1.75L Limit 2 btls.

SAVE $2

SAVE $3

$10.99

$11.99

$14.99

Shiner Bock

Dos Equis Lager Especial

Miller Lite, Coors Light

Valid 2/3/2016-2/13/2016 in San Antonio, TX only.

Valid in-store only.

Valid 2/3/2016-2/13/2016 in San Antonio, TX only.

Valid in-store only.

Valid 2/3/2016-2/13/2016 in San Antonio, TX only.

Valid in-store only.

Reg. $13.99

12-12oz btls Limit 2 pks.

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18 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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San Antonio, TX 78257 (210) 877-9155 Mon-Sat 10am-9pm, Sun CLOSED

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CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

FRI

5

‘Quadrilateral’

FRI-SUN

It may send your mind reeling back to the dreaded fundamentals of geometry, but R Gallery’s “Quadrilateral” is not an artistic ode to trapezoids, parallelograms and their four-sided friends but a group show uniting local artists: Albert Alvarez, Francisco Garcia, Christopher Montoya and Jerry Villarreal.

Employing fairly traditional materials (graphite, oils, acrylics, pen and ink), the quartet finds common territory via street-smart aesthetics, irreverent subject matter and shared themes ranging from violence and depression to horror and science fiction. Curated by Rigoberto Luna, the exhibit comprises poppy new offerings and the sitespecific mural #Flexicano by Christopher Montoya (known best for his homages to Selena and the Spurs Coyote); obsessively rendered — and often nightmarish — drawings by Albert Alvarez; anxiety-ridden examples of Jerry Villarreal’s series Cloaking the Goose; and bizarre, cartoonish creations courtesy of Francisco Garcia. Sponsored by Pedernales Brewing Company, this second of two First Friday receptions comes complete with DJ beats by Executive Realness and live music by horror-surf-rockers The Sandworms, singer-songwriter Mike Ryan and fusion-minded Latin funk/punk/reggae outfit Arma Musical. Free, 6-11pm, R Gallery, 725 S. Presa St., (210) 650-2243, facebook.com/rgallerystx. — Bryan Rindfuss

Art

Art opening: ”Four Cornered” In her

exhibition “Four Cornered,” Austin-based sculptor Jade Walker explores the nature of the human body to contort to and intersect with itself and foreign objects.

Walker’s work consists of her personal struggle with spectatorship, binaries within gender, abstraction, narrative, found objects, desire and human anatomy as temporal. Also on view: New Yorkbased artist Jaye Rhee’s “Shaping the Presence, Forming the Absence.” Free, 5-7pm Thursday; Texas State University, University Galleries, 601 University Drive, San Marcos, (512) 245-2664.

Art opening: Vincent Ramirez and Juan Desanto Mata Studio 701 hosts a First

Friday reception featuring new works by local artists Vincent Ramirez and Juan Desanto Mata. Free, 6-10pm Friday; Studio 701, 701 S. Presa St.

Art opening: “Woven” Emily Verkamp

curates works by Scott Hilton (who uses wetplate collodion techniques and manipulates books and other materials) and Nicole Pietrantoni (whose project Havened comprises nine accordion books with a panorama of nature and a text overlay). Free, 6-9pm Thursday-Friday; Terminal 136, 136 Blue Star, (210) 439-4391.

“Lapsing In & Out” San Antonio College

showcases the work of Sal Torres, whose optical paintings of stripes and grids reference both the abstract and figurative properties of written language.

Free, 8am-8pm Wednesday-Friday, 9:30am-5pm Saturday-Sunday, 8am-8pm

Monday-Tuesday; San Antonio College, Moody Learning Center, 1300 San Pedro Ave., (210) 486-0577.

“Las Estrellas de Ayer — Las Tesoros de Hoy” The Esperanza honors Las Tesoros

de San Antonio — comprised of renowned vocalists Rita Vidaurri, Beatriz Llamas, the late Perla Tapatía and Blanca Rodriguez — with an exhibit of photos and memorabilia.

Free but donations appreciated, 10am-7pm Wednesday-Friday, 10am-7pm MondayTuesday; Esperanza Peace & Justice Center, 922 San Pedro Ave., (210) 228-0201.

Mid reception: “Glumps … Life, Death, Eternity and Everything” REM Gallery

displays abstract works by Karl Frey, a Northeast Lakeview College assistant professor with 20 years of experience exhibiting art and publishing prints, comics and children’s books. Free, 6-9pm Saturday; REM Gallery, 219 E. Park Ave., (210) 224-1227.

”Segundo de Febrero” Lead artist Jeff Hull

curates works by 35 artists in observance of the 167th anniversary of the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, which ended the U.S.-Mexican War, extended the border to the Rio Grande and gave the U.S. control over 500,000 square miles that now comprise the Southwest. Free, 9am-5pm WednesdayFriday, 9am-5pm Monday-Tuesday; Centro Cultural Aztlan, 1800 Fredericksburg Road, Suite 103, (210) 432-1896.

“Texas Meets Paris” Villa Finale and

Roosevelt Library celebrate printmaker Mary Bonner with an exhibit and discussion complemented with an afternoon luncheon (12:30pm) and an evening cocktail and supper program (6pm). $45-$135, 12:30-

5-7

Rock of Ages

Although often critiqued for its skimpy plot (surrounding a development scheme threatening to turn Hollywood’s long-standing Bourbon Room and its Sunset Strip neighbors into a strip mall), Chris D’Arienzo’s Rock of Ages has a knack for winning over audiences — and often bringing them to their feet. Humorously summed up by The New York Times as a “karaoke comedy about warped-vinyl dreams,” the jukebox musical employs ’80s radio hits such as “Waiting for a Girl Like You” (Foreigner), “We Built This City” (Starship), “The Final Countdown” (Europe) and “Don’t Stop Believing” (Journey) to conjure campy scenes straight out of the glory days of MTV — replete with big hair, Spandex and Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers. Christopher Rodriguez directs Brian Hodges, Amanda Golden, Isidro Medina and Anthony Cortino in the Woodlawn’s production. $17-$26, 7:30pm Fri-Sat, 3pm Sun, The Woodlawn Theatre, 1920 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 267-8388, woodlawntheatre.org. Through March 6. — BR

9pm Thursday; Roosevelt Library, 311 Roosevelt Ave., (210) 223-9800.

Theater

Divas of Eastwood With its latest offering, SA

theater company The Renaissance Guild is here to lay down some swinging and gliding soul upon which to buoy your bored dreams of spring and all it brings. The new musical revue, Divas of Eastwood, is a celebration of the African-American music and culture surrounding what was called The Chitlin’ Circuit. Comprised of SA establishments the Eastwood Country Club, Keyhole Club and what is now the Carver Community Cultural Center, the Chitlin’ Circuit was a cultural beacon and hosted such notables as Dinah Washington, Etta James and Sarah Vaughn. $24, 8pm Friday, 2pm & 8pm Saturday; Little Carver Civic Center, 226 N. Hackberry St., (210) 207-7211.

Rift Riders Part of the Overtime’s Serial

Box project, Michael Burger’s sci-fi adventure Rift Riders concerns a group of alien abductees struggling to “gain control of the ship and get themselves home.” Performances are followed by a short magic show courtesy of Tobias the Adequate. $10, 8pm Friday-Saturday; The Overtime Theater, 1203 Camden St., (210) 557-7562.

Sesame Street Live: Make a New Friend

The Sesame Street crew welcomes Grover’s friend from India in this tune-filled learning experience (complete with “up-close and furry interactions”) celebrating the universal fun of friendship and cultural similarities — from singing and dancing to sharing cookies. $17-$55, 10:30am & 2pm

Saturday, 1pm Sunday; Freeman Coliseum, 3201 E. Houston St., (210) 444-5000.

The Diviners The Vex’s 17th season

continues with Jim Leonard, Jr.’s sliceof-life drama following a disturbed young man and his friendship with a disenchanted preacher in the fictional town of Zion, Indiana during the Great Depression. $16-$22, 7:30pm Thursday, 8pm Saturday, 2:30pm Sunday, Sheldon Vexler Theatre, 12500 NW Military Hwy., (210) 302-6835.

The Terrifying Tale of the Werewolves of Edinburgh Written and directed by

Alex H. Coy IV and Andrew Moritz, this episodic series (part of the Overtime’s Serial Box project) follows unpublished accounts of Sherlock Holmes while paying homage to the Victorian mystery and gothic horror genres. $10, 9pm FridaySaturday; The Overtime Theater, 1203 Camden St., (210) 557-7562

Stage Kiss What would be worse than

being forced to share a kiss with your ex?

Well, sharing a kiss with your ex in front of an audience, of course. In Sarah Ruhl’s Stage Kiss, a pair of ex-lovers are cast in a revival of a 1930s comedy and dramatic tensions abound once their feigned onstage smooches become real. J. Robert Moore directs Renee Garvens, Tyler Keyes and Nick Lawson in The Playhouse’s production. $12$30, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday; The Playhouse, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258.

Words

Deep in the Heart Author Signing Event Members of the indie collective Crazy Lady Authors — including Kelly

sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 19

A Sweet Selection For Your Valentine!

CALENDAR

Cozzone, Jennifer Theriot, Jami Brumfield, Diane Rinella and Michele E. Gwynn — come together to sign books, socialize and give away a “monster gift bag” filled with signed paperbacks, a Mastercard gift card and Spurs tickets. $10-$20 at eventbrite.com, 2:304:30pm (11am for VIP ticket holders) Saturday; Colony Dance Banquet Hall, 3511 Colony Drive.

Phillip Meyer In conjunction with its

Whole Earth Provision Co. WholeEarthProvision.com

Quarry Market at 255 East Basse • 210-829-8888

super

sunday!

Creative Writing Reading Series, UTSA welcomes revered young author Phillip Meyer, who earned the Los Angeles Times Book Prize with his debut novel American Rust and a Pulitzer nomination with his second, The Son. Free, 7pm Friday; University of Texas at San Antonio, John Peace Library, Faculty Center Assembly Room, One UTSA Circle, (210) 458-4011.

Special Events

4th Annual Alamo City Leather & Fetish Ball Open to all sexual

identities, this unabashedly kinky weekend packs in live demos, jock auctions, a “pup mosh,” contests (Alamo City Leather and Alamo City Bootblack), vendors, performances, raffles, a photo booth, kinky karaoke and a wide array of classes — covering everything from electroplay and mummification to flogging and submission — all with proceeds benefiting the HIV awareness organization Project H.O.T. and the Leather Heart Foundation, an organization dedicated to providing financial assistance to individuals of all sexual orientations within the leather, BDSM and fetish communities. $10-$45, times vary Friday-Sunday; The Mad Marlin, 8123 Broadway, visit aclfw.org for details.

Bob Marley EarthDay Celebration

One Drop Reggae Shop and Juice Bar celebrates Bob Marley’s birthday with an evening of live music, spoken word, drumming, food, drinks and a film screening. $7 (free before 10pm), 3pm Saturday; One Drop Reggae Shop and Juice Bar, 8800 Broadway, Suite 8816, (210) 481-4604.

Deep in the Arts of Texas Gala At ARTS

San Antonio’s Asian-themed Deep in the Arts of Texas Gala, guests will join chef Jason Dady and Austin’s Taiko Drummers for hors d’oeuvres and beverages in the Majestic’s rotunda, enjoy an Asian-fusion three-course dinner, meet the Yamato Drummers of Japan and participate in a Taiko drumming lesson. $300, 6pm Tuesday; The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-2891.

20 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

HIV/AIDS Awareness 5K Run/Walk In

observance of National Black HIV and AIDS Awareness Day (NBHAAD), BEAT AIDS Coalition hosts a 5K run/walk followed by post-run activities, food, drinks, live music and information about PrEP (Pre exposure Prophylaxis). $15-$20 at beataids.org, 9am, Mission County Park, 6030 Padre St., (210) 2122266.

Pony Express Love Letters The

Briscoe invites guests to stop by the museum to craft a personal love letter on a vintage typewriter or with calligraphy pens. Look to books of poetry designed to foster romantic expression for inspiration or fill in a Valentine’s Mad Lib for a light-hearted touch. All the collected letters will be hand-delivered for free to loved ones — by bicycle messenger, like a modern day Pony Express, if they are in the Downtown area — or by postal service outside of Downtown. Free, 10am-4pm Wednesday-Thursday, 10am-5pm Friday-Sunday, 10am-9pm Tuesday; Briscoe Western Art Museum, 210 W. Market St., (210) 299-4499.

The Fashion Opera’s Fashion Arena Inspired by the beauty and

dramatics of the opera, this traveling fashion showcase dedicates itself to entertaining with thought-provoking fashion presentations while inspiring attendees to maintain “a healthy relationship with beauty.” $10-$50, 4-8pm Saturday; Henry B. Gonzalez Convention Center, 200 E. Market St., (210) 207-8500.

Typewriter Rodeo: Custom Poetry

The Briscoe hosts an interactive poetry event with the word wranglers of Typewriter Rodeo. Give the writers a phrase and they compose a custom poem (“kid-friendly or adult-feisty”) on the spot. Free, 6-8pm Tuesday; Briscoe Western Art Museum, 210 W. Market St., (210) 299-4499.

sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 21

ARTS + CULTURE

ARMANDO AGUAYO RIVERA

2

SIBLING CITIES Explaining San Antonio’s 9 sister cities MARK REAGAN/@210REAGAN

4

1 MONTERREY, NUEVO LEÓN, MEXICO Founded: 1596 • Population: 1.14 million (2010) • Sister City establishment: 1953 Monterrey is a hub of industrial operations in Mexico, with 13,000 manufacturers producing nearly 10 percent of the country’s products. The Sierra Madre Oriental mountain range surrounds the city, creating a breathtaking view. Monterrey is known for Norteño music and is a popular tourist destination.

RICK GONZÁLEZ

1

3

2 GUADALAJARA, JALISCO, MEXICO Founded: 1531 • Population: 1.5 million (2010) • Sister City establishment: 1974 Guadalajara is a treasure trove of architecture, and its city center is full of culture with plenty for visitors to choose from, including museums, theaters and, of course, food. It’s also known for mariachi music and tequila. Guadalajara has also been dubbed the “Silicon Valley of Mexico,” since it’s the primary manufacturer of software and electronics the country.

3 LAS PALMAS DE GRAN CANARIA, CANARY ISLANDS, SPAIN Founded: 1478 • Population: 382,283 (2014) • Sister City

22 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

STEVE

would be more tolerant and understanding and that wars would not happen like they happened then [WWII],” she said. “It’s really about promoting peace, cooperation and mutual understanding.”

Back when Eisenhower made that 1956 announcement, San Antonio was already ahead of the game. Its first sister city relationship was established in 1953 with a natural fit: Monterrey, in Nuevo León, Mexico — the first Mexican city to form a sister city pairing.

In its infancy, Dowlatshahi said U.S. cities formed relationships with Mexican and European cities.

“It was a movement that just grew and grew throughout the ’60s and ’70s,” she said. “In the ’60s, ’70s, ’80s, there was no Facebook, no social networking.

So if you wanted to learn, there was the whole pen pals thing and finding friends in another part of the world was very popular … and a lot of those initiatives were through sister city relationships.”

The goal is to also foster citizen diplomacy, along with the Eisenhower’s vision of a less violent world created through tolerance and understanding.

MATTI MATTILA

World War II divided the world and when it ended, after years of suffering, violence and sacrifice, it needed healing.

So in 1956, nine years after Adolf Hitler shot himself and the U.S. dropped atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan, President Dwight D. Eisenhower created Sister Cities International to create bonds between Earth’s citizens.

Sixty years later, 545 U.S. cities have more than 2,000 siblings in 145 countries, spanning every continent except for frozen Antarctica, according to Sister Cities International.

San Antonio has nine of those partnerships across six countries.

Sherry Dowlatshahi is chief of protocol and head of international relations for San Antonio’s International Relations Office.

The San Antonio Current caught up with her over the phone while she was walking to see the logo for the city’s tricentennial celebration that was unveiled last Wednesday at the Tobin Center for the Performing Arts.

“Eisenhower thought that if people were more open and knowledgeable of people on the other side of the world they

establishment: 1975 This pairing couldn’t be more appropriate.

San Antonio’s first families were colonists from the Canary Islands. Las Palmas is the capital of Gran Canaria of the Canary Islands and is a major tourist destination with pristine beaches.

The major cruise ship stopover is the largest city in the Canary Islands and it’s the ninth largest city in Spain. It was the islands’ only capital until the 17th century. Now it shares the distinction with Santa Cruz de Tenerife.

4 GWANGJU, SOUTH KOREA Founded: 57 B.C. • Population: 1.52 million (2014) • Sister City establishment: 1981 This is the sixth largest city in South Korea and it’s an important government center. It’s an ancient city where people can explore Paekje culture and artistic and scholarly accomplishments from the Chosun period.

The three-month long Bienale Arts Festival, which showcases international contemporary art, is held here. There’s also the impressive Mt. Mudung that looms over the city and holds the Yongchu Falls, along with ancient temples.

ARTS + CULTURE

HOLGER NAETHER

8

PHILIPPE TEUWEN

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9

YOGA BALAJI

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MUKAI

MATT’S LIFE

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5 KAOHSIUNG, TAIWAN, REPUBLIC OF CHINA Founded: Sometime in the 17th century • Population: 2.77 million (2014) • Sister City establishment: 1981 The second largest city in Taiwan is the island’s foremost industrial center. The city’s geography is defined by its major port — Port of Kaohsiung — which is the sixth largest in the entire world. In fact, so much trade floats in and out of the port that it reached its operational capacity in 2007.

So, now, the port’s getting even bigger. This port links 372 shipping lanes to five continents and 367 ports in 102 countries.

6 SANTA CRUZ DE TENERIFE, CANARY ISLANDS, SPAIN Founded: 1494 • Population: 206,593 (2013) • Sister City establishment: 1983 Like Las Palmas, Santa Cruz de Tenerife is a reflection of San

Antonio’s historical European influence. And like its co-capital, the island is a destination for cruise ships. It’s also home to Canary Island’s Parliament.

There’s breathtaking architecture and public art abounds. Its yearly celebration, the Carnival of Santa Cruz de Tenerife, is the second most popular carnival in the world, attracting visitors from all over the globe.

7 KUMAMOTO, JAPAN Founded: 1588 • Population: 731,286 (2010) • Sister City establishment: 1987 This city boasts one of Japan’s most iconic castles: the Kumamoto Castle, which was built shortly after the city’s founding. The castle is a major landmark in the city and in the country. However, getting a taste of Kumamoto is possible without ever leaving San Antonio.

In 1989, Kumamoto donated

the beautiful and peaceful Japanese Garden in the San Antonio Botanical Gardens. Last October, the rosy-cheeked bearlike Kumamon, the official mascot of the Kumamoto Prefecture, was declared an “Honorary Citizen” of San Antonio.

8 WUXI, JIANGSU, CHINA Founded: Sometime in 11th century B.C. • Population: 6.37 million (2010) • Sister City establishment: 2012 This city is ancient and is where the first Chinese state was created. While thousands of years have passed, Wuxi has stood the test of time. In 2014, Sister Cities International awarded both Wuxi and San Antonio the U.S.-China Sister Cities Award in the “Most Innovative” category. After San Antonio participated in the 2010 Shanghai World Expo, efforts to build a sister city relationship

became a reality, serving as a catalyst for more regional sister cities between the countries.

9 CHENNAI, TAMIL NADU, INDIA Founded: 1640 • Population: 6.7 million (2011) • Sister City establishment: 2008 Chennai may be of San Antonio’s most visible of sister cities because of the Diwali San Antonio Festival — the annual festival of lights. This year, Diwali returned to La Villita, where it was first celebrated in 2009, drawing thousands of festival-goers. The celebration is organized by the local volunteer group Anuja SA, which was tasked by former Mayor Phil Hardberger with helping share the culture of India with the Alamo City. In December 2015, the city was devastated by historic flooding. mreagan@sacurrent.com

sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 23

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ARTS + CULTURE

ALL PHOTOS LISA WELLER

COUTURE DIARY Twirl’s Lisa Weller shares highlights from haute couture week in Paris BRYAN RINDFUSS/@BRINDFUSS

In a survey conducted by qualifications authority City & Guilds, hairdressers topped a “contentment list” based on job satisfaction.

If the givens of the hair industry — creativity and communication being key — aren’t enough to make you ponder a career switch, tack on coveted bonuses like jet-setting around Europe, collaborating with bigwigs and grooming supermodels.

Anchored in San Antonio, Twirl salon owner Lisa

Weller leads this enviable lifestyle as a member of industry icon Guido Palau’s creative team.

In the midst of 11 days working alongside Palau, Weller was kind enough to send us photographic highlights from the team’s artistry for the Christian Dior and Atelier Versace Spring 2016 haute couture collections. For more about Weller and Twirl (118 Blue Star, Suite 2), visit twirlhair. com or call (210) 781-4198.

Clockwise from top left: Gigi Hadid at the Atelier Versace couture show, held inside an old bank at Place Vendôme; Gigi Hadid, Rosie Huntington Whitelely and Joan Smalls at Versace; bun with razored bits at the Christian Dior couture show, held at Les Jardins Du Musée Rodin; Gigi Hadid at Versace; Vanessa Moody backstage at Dior; the mirrored set at Dior; Dior finale; models backstage at Dior.

sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 25

26 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

SCREENS

FUNNY IS FUNNY

Comedian Carol Burnett talks San Antonio and problems with modern television KIKO MARTÍNEZ

This past Saturday, television icon Carol Burnett (The Carol Burnett Show), 82, was honored with the Life Achievement Award at the 22nd Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards. Born in San Antonio in 1933, Burnett was best known for her namesake variety show from 1967-1978. She spoke to the San Antonio Current via phone recently about her SAG award, her childhood in San Antonio and why she watches just a handful of the comedies currently on TV. What does it mean to you to receive the Screen Actors Guild Life Achievement Award?

As my chum Julie Andrews would say, I’m gobsmacked.

It’s quite an honor to get an award like this from your peers. Each award I’m grateful for, but this is a biggie. It’s up there with the other lifetime achievement [awards] like the Mark Twain Prize [for American Humor]. This is about your whole career, not just getting an award for one thing (laughs), although those are fine, too.

What is your fondest memory of living in San Antonio?

Oh my gosh! My fondest memories are when my grandmother and I would go Downtown and window shop. I remember the Buckhorn Saloon. There was this stuffed ape in the window. (Laughs) We would walk by there and it would scare the pants off of me! I thought it was King Kong. I swear I thought his eyes were moving and watching us.

What do you remember about your neighborhood on West Commerce Street?

Well, it was a poor section of town. We lived in this nice, old house with a veranda. I would roller skate in front of the house, but the sidewalk was buckled. So, I’d fall down and skin my knees and scream when the iodine started coming. My grandmother said, “OK, come on, you can roller skate inside the house on the wooden floor.” A few years ago, they were going to tear down the house … but it was moved to a different section of Commerce Street and refurbished and it’s now a school for underprivileged children (American Sunrise). They did such a beautiful job. I went back to see it and meet some of the schoolchildren. I looked down on the floor and the skate marks were still there.

I think back to how [TV writer] Norman Lear (All in the Family) wrote. I think of Mary’s show (The Mary Tyler Moore Show) and Bob Newhart. That was clever writing and it didn’t sink to the lowest common denominator.

Were you a good student at Davy Crockett Elementary School?

I think I was a pretty good student. I was in the first grade. I was kind of quiet. I remember the first time I ever performed was at Davy Crockett. We did a miniversion of Pinocchio. I was cast as the Blue Fairy. My grandmother made me a blue dress. We got a stick and wrapped some colorful stuff around it and put a star at the end of it and that was my magic wand.

For our full interview with comedian Carol Burnett, visit sacurrent.com.

Are there any comedies you like watching on TV? I do like Life in Pieces (CBS) and I do like The Grinder (Fox). I also enjoy Rachel Bloom in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (The CW). I think those are a step above some of the others.

At this stage in your career, does the word legacy mean anything to you?

Well, at this point, I would just like someone to say, “She cheered me up!”

Does making someone laugh today feel as gratifying as it did at the beginning of your career?

Absolutely. Ah, it makes me feel so good.

Some of the mail I get talks about how my show cheered someone up when they were depressed or sick. They want to thank me for that. That’s such a wonderful compliment. It does my heart good.

Television has changed so much over the years since The Carol Burnett Show was on the air. What hasn’t changed?

Funny is funny. I dare anyone today to watch [The Carol Burnett Show] and not laugh like crazy.

It’s over 40 years old! I wish today they would do more stuff [on TV] to get a belly laugh rather than be cynical or edgy. I’m not a prude or anything like that. I know they want to be edgy, but don’t only just do that.

Let’s get silly sometimes and have fun.

You did an interview with Dan Rather in 2014 where you said you watch more TV dramas than comedies because comedies “upset you.”

Is that the main reason they upset you?

Some of them upset me because they’re not clever. I think I told Stephen Colbert this a few years ago, but some of these sitcoms sound like they were written by teenage boys in a locker room. sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 27

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28 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

MARCH 15, 2016 at 7:30 p.m.

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To purchase tickets Online, visit: www.TobinCenter.org Or call the the Box Office at (210) 223-8624 Tobin Center Box Office | 100 Auditorium Circle, San Antonio, TX 78205

sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 29

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SCREENS

CLIMATE CHANGE THAWS MARRIAGE

A (metaphorical) ghost shakes the foundation of a couple’s union in 45 Years DAVE RIEDEL AGATHA A. NITECKA

•

Geoff (Tom Courtenay) and Kate (Charlotte Rampling) during a rare moment of relative tranquility

No one knows what goes on inside someone else’s marriage. Friends, acquaintances and even casual observers may think they know, but there’s a wall that keeps others out.

In 45 Years, even one-half of the marriage is in the dark. Kate (Charlotte Rampling) and her husband Geoff (Tom Courtenay) are on the verge of celebrating said milestone when Geoff receives a letter. Katya, a woman he dated seriously before he knew Kate, died in an accident — Katya fell into a crevasse in a glacier while she, Geoff and a guide were hiking — and because of the magic and horror of climate change, her body may be recovered, more than 50 years after it was lost.

Naturally, the letter sparks a change in the couple. Geoff becomes a man obsessed with his former lover, and Kate becomes obsessed with finding out more about Katya and the relationship she and Geoff shared. It’s the kind of rabbit hole you don’t want to, but probably must, go down.

To Kate’s increasing dismay, there are photos, letters and memorabilia Geoff has saved over the years, and he begins sneaking into the attic at night to pore over everything. Then there’s the matter of Geoff’s behavior. His friends know he’s

acting strangely, and Kate knows why but has to play dumb. And Kate, because of pride (or perhaps because she and Geoff are English) outwardly has a stiff-upper-lip demeanor about the whole thing.

As the movie progresses, Kate is forced to deal with the unsettling questions about her husband and their marriage. It’s tough to read much emotion from Rampling’s face; she’s always been a master of subtlety and her several types of grimace serve Kate’s story well. Courtenay plays Geoff as a sort of doddering old fool who hides deeper thoughts beneath his decrepit facade.

45 Years offers a master class in understated acting, and director Andrew Haigh’s script intentionally leaves lots of unanswered questions.

It’s the sort of movie worth returning to over and over, if you don’t mind spending 95 minutes with two unlikeable people and the ins and outs of their union.

45 Years opens at Santikos Bijou Cinema Bistro Friday, February 5.

45 Years (R) 95 min Written and directed by Andrew Haigh; feat.

Charlotte Rampling, Tom Courtenay and Geraldine James

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As their 45th wedding anniversary approaches, a woman learns that her husband was once engaged to someone else.

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SCREENS

SEINFELD STILL KILLS The art of noticing and the science of being an asshole

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FOOD BRYAN RINDFUSS

SUPER SNACKS Bites to try for the big game JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS

The best part of football season being over is the snackage that’s about to go down. With Super Bowl 50 upon us this Sunday, we’ve picked a few classic Southern recipes to try as a nod to North Carolina, while dipping into Denver’s brewing territory with beer cheese and really, really great brownies.

BEER CHEESE DIP • Use Denver’s Epic Brewing’s Hop Syndrome, which is mild enough to pair with the cheese.

12 ounces bottled beer, pick something light and crisp 8 ounces cream cheese, cubed 1 pound pepper jack cheese, shredded Directions • Pour the beer in a medium saucepot and place over medium heat. Bring to a simmer.

Place cheeses in the pot. Whisk continually until both cheeses have melted and the beer cheese dip is smooth. It will look thin, but will thicken the moment it starts to cool.

Modified from aspicyperspective.com SOUTHERN PIMENTO CHEESE • Buy a tub from Cullum’s Attagirl (726 E. Mistletoe Ave., 210-4374263) which keeps the mayo ratio down while upping the spice with roasted red peppers.

2 cups shredded extra-sharp cheddar cheese 8 ounces cream cheese, softened 1/2 cup mayonnaise ¼ teaspoon garlic powder ¼ teaspoon ground cayenne pepper ¼ teaspoon onion powder 4 ounces diced roasted red peppers Salt, to taste Pepper, to taste Directions • Place the cheddar, cream cheese, mayonnaise, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, onion powder and roasted red peppers into a large bowl.

Mix at medium speed using a hand blender until thoroughly combined. Season with salt and pepper.

Modified from allrecipes.com.

EASY SLOW COOKER PULLED PORK • This recipe is hard to mess up. Serve as sliders with Hawaiian rolls, like the ones found at Smoke Shack BBQ (3714 Broadway, 210-957-1430) and pair them with their vinegary coleslaw. Or turn them into nachos with totopos, cheddar cheese, cotija cheese, pickled jalapeños and cilantro.

2 medium yellow onions, thinly sliced 4 medium garlic cloves, thinly sliced 1 cup chicken stock

1 tablespoon packed dark brown sugar 1 tablespoon chili powder 1 tablespoon kosher salt, plus more as needed ½ tablespoon ground cumin ¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon 1 (4 ½ to 5 pound) boneless pork shoulder Directions • Place the onions and garlic in an even layer in the slow cooker and pour in the stock.

Combine sugar, chili powder, measured salt, cumin and cinnamon in a small bowl. Pat the pork dry with paper towels. Rub the spice mixture all over the pork and place the meat on top of the onions and garlic.

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sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 35

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36 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

FOOD

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◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 35

Cover and cook until the pork is fork tender, about 6 to 8 hours on high or 8 to 10 hours on low.

Turn off the slow cooker and remove the pork to a cutting board. Set a fine mesh strainer over a medium heatproof bowl. Pour the onion mixture from the slow cooker through the strainer and return the solids to the slow cooker. Set the strained liquid aside.

Using two forks, shred the meat into bite sized pieces, discarding any large pieces of fat. Return the shredded meat to the slow cooker, and use a spoon to skim and discard the fat from the surface of the strained liquid. Add 1/4 cup of the liquid at a time to the slow cooker until the pork is just moistened. Taste and season with salt as need.

Modified from chowhound.com COCOA BROWNIE WITH BROWNED BUTTER • Once you’ve found a brownie recipe you love, you never let it go. I first discovered this several years back as the cover to Bon Appetit and have jonesed hard for these thick and flavorful brownies ever since. No others will do.

Nonstick vegetable oil spray 10 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into 1-inch pieces 1 ¼ cups sugar ¾ cup natural sweetened cocoa powder, (spooned into cup measure, then leveled)

1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 large eggs, chilled 1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon unbleached all-purpose flour 1 cup walnut pieces, optional Directions • Position rack in bottom; heat to 325 degrees. Line 8-by-8by-2-inch metal baking pan with foil, pressing it firmly against pan sides and leaving 2-inch overhang. Coat foil with nonstick spray. Melt butter in medium saucepan over medium heat.

[Editor’s note: If you were to want to turn these into Denver brownies … add extra ingredients here.] Continue cooking until butter stops foaming and browned bits form at bottom of pan, stirring often, about 5 minutes.

Remove from heat; immediately add sugar, cocoa, 2 teaspoons water, vanilla and 1⁄4 teaspoon (generous) salt. Stir to blend. Let cool 5 minutes (mixture will still be hot). Add eggs to hot mixture one at a time, beating vigorously to blend after each addition. When mixture looks thick and shiny, add flour and stir until blended. Beat vigorously 60 strokes. Stir in nuts. Transfer batter to prepared pan.

Bake brownies until toothpick inserted into center comes out almost clean (with a few moist crumbs attached), about 25 minutes. Cool in pan on rack. Using foil overhang, lift brownies from pan. Cut into 4 strips. Cut each strip crosswise into 4 brownies.

Recipe from Alice Medrich/ bonappetit.com

Expires 2/10/2016

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FOOD

FLAVOR FILE

• F U E L • R E S TAU R A N T • P R O D U C E • M E AT M A R K E T •

Boucherie 2016, Culinaria 5K and Valentine’s Day Options JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS

700 N. ALAMO

210.444.0711

•

The Culinaria 5K is made for foodies.

Fans of Cajun cuisine, farm life and great chefs should pencil in the date for the third annual Boucherie, a tradition that turns a whole hog from snout to tail into several dishes. The day includes demonstrations, brunch and a family-style Sunday supper as you mingle with SA’s best. Participating chefs include John Russ and Austin Bush (Lüke San Antonio), Luis Colon (Folc), Pieter Sypesteyn (The Cookhouse/Where Y’at Food Truck), Diego Galicia (Mixtli/Mezcalería Mixtli), Luis Morales (Humble House Foods), Heather Nañez (Bohanan’s Prime Steaks and Seafood) Stefan Bowers (Feast/Rebelle) and James Canter (Guerrilla Gourmet).

Tickets for the Sunday, February 21 event at Vintage Heart Farm (1700 County Road 332, Stockdale) are $150 through boucherie2016.bpt.me.

Remember that resolution you made on December 31 about how you were going to work out? Well, in case you’ve already fallen off the wagon, the Culinaria 5K Wine & Beer Run should help motivate you off that couch (if only for the drinks and snacks you get to enjoy post-race). The fifth annual run is Saturday, March 19 from 8-10 a.m. at The Shops at La Cantera. Register a team, or run it solo, at culinariasa.org.

Valentine’s Day will likely take over your calendar next weekend. Dinner reservations are strongly encouraged, especially if you’re trying to enjoy this year’s best events. AtticRep is hosting the second annual Love Letter Celebration and Carnival inside Brick at Blue Star on Saturday, February 13 from 7-10 p.m.

The night includes boozy snow cones, cotton candy, popcorn and gourmet hot dogs from The Esquire Tavern, along with “death-defying entertainment” via Aerial Horizon. Tickets ($175) can be purchased through tobincenter.org. Or get the evening started out right with a Kama Sutra Dinner on February 13 at 6:30 p.m. with five courses of Ayurvedic aphrodisiacs, aromatic and edible (wink) and warming cocktails by Blue Box. The evening includes live music by the Jazz Tutor and insights on Kama Sutra by UTSA professor of Indian History, Anne Hardgrove.

Tickets ($120 for one or $210 for two) are available at pharmtable.com. Or get out of town, and celebrate Valentine’s Day in Valentine, Texas, with Big Bend Brewing. The fourth annual celebration will take place on Sunday, February 14 at 3 p.m. with music, beer and barbecue in the old Mercantile Building. Tickets ($25 in advance, $30 at the door) are available through bigbendbrewing.com. flavor@sacurrent.com

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sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 39

40 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

NIGHTLIFE

LOUIE PRECIADO

bang iN with a

It’s long been a firmly held belief that San Antonio is a terribly friendly place to live.

Tourists and newcomers comment on our polite predilection for holding the door open for each other, saying “excuse me” and “thank you,” bidding good morning to folks we pass on the street — people we don’t know and have never met. They compliment us on our willingness to help our neighbors — often with no benefit to ourselves — and on our nature to be sickeningly inviting. In truth, you can’t turn a shot down from a San Antonian or forego tapping your glass on the bar for those not present without potentially offending the buyer (and the dead). Seriously.

This diaspora of kindness has been expounded upon to great extent by sociologists, historians, social commentators and the like. Citing our blue-collar roots, our position as a town with a laboring population; the syncretic mix of Europeans and Latin Americans forming a contact zone, or “melting pot,” in the idealistic American rhetoric, makes us band together. It was natural, as San Antonio operated as an outpost for Mexico to the south, the frontier to the west and “civilization” to the east, that the mingling of cultures would occur. In fact, our diversity has, rather than pushed us apart, pulled us together into a new identity, the distinction of being San Antonians.

The Bang Bang Bar wants to be your neighborhood bar, San Antonio

The perceived disregard of San Antonio in the national dialogue of places to live and exist also steels our deeprooted belief in ourselves and each other, as a city — feeling less cool than Austin, less rich and racist than Dallas, less aggressive than Houston, and more puro than all of them combined.

This communal spirit of sharing, support and inclusivity lines the walls and furnishes The Bang Bang Bar, located at 119 El Mio Drive. The bar, which is open everyday from 2 p.m. to 2 a.m. and features karaoke on Sundays, DJs Monday through Friday and live bands on Saturday, desires to be nothing more than a welcoming place for San Antonians to come together and have a good time in a safe, inclusive environment.

The three owners of The Bang Bang Bar, Phanie Diaz and Jenn Alva, of San Antonio’s successful indie trio Girl in a Coma, along with former Martini Ranch owner Jamie Hoppe, have joined forces to present a vinyl venue for the community that they feel incorporates the collective pride in our city and its inhabitants.

“We wanted a bar for the people, y’know? It’s important to all of us that people feel like we really care about them when they come in here, because we do …

We want everybody to feel at home,” Hoppe says.

Their policy of friendly respectfulness extends beyond

TRAVIS BUFFKIN /@DTBUFFKIN

just lip service, exceptional drink specials and the bar’s policy of never charging a cover: during daytime hours, regulars can bring in their own records to play and Hoppe is currently working on a safe-ride program, wherein employees will carpool patrons to and from their houses — an idea of considerable merit in a city that has, in all practicality, a zero-tolerance policy.

The building, which sits just off of Blanco behind Roy’s Taco House, was originally zoned to be a bar in 1938 and has operated as approximately 14 different drinking holes in its checkered history, which included a stint as a members-only establishment called Players that allegedly housed a prostitution ring from inside its labyrinthine walls. The space has also operated as smoky underground goth clubs Changez and Phazez (before goth was even referred to as such), Sluggo’s, another dive-y punk rock joint, a staple of lesbian nightlife via the Bermuda Triangle, briefly as Boogie Nights and, most recently, as The Hideaway, a neighborhood sports bar.

The assortment of facades and namesakes that have marked the life of the building are a further representation of San Antonio’s confluence of tastes and sensibilities.

One aspect of the bar that many may deem unfortunate CONTINUED ON PAGE 43 ►

sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 41

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6957 SAN PEDRO RD. • 210-348-6902 | 5117 FREDERICKSBURG RD. • 210-348-9401 42 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

NIGHTLIFE

ERIC MORENO

The 3,500-square-foot interior of the roomy bar and venue that boasts an arcade room, stage, DJ booth, three seperate living areas and a smokers’ patio.

◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 41

— its location — is something that the owners consider a positive attribute. Hoppe speaks to the fact that it isn’t on the crowded stretch of the St. Mary’s Strip that caters to much of the city’s nightlife.

“We were looking for something that was still neighborhood-y. Not Downtown, not necessarily in the middle of the Strip, but a place that’s established, that has stories and it has a crazy history,” she says.

Hoppe elaborates on the vibe of the neighborhood and the patrons that have already come by to scope out their former favorite place, of one incarnation or another, to toss a couple back. “So many people walk through this door with an idea of what it was or what it would be and they all have stories to tell, which is fun and it helps add character.”

This philosophy flies in the face of the popular, timeworn real estate cliché of location, location, location.

In fact, although it may be seen as part of the element of risk that generally would hinder a bar’s success, the location of the venue on a lazy span of Blanco adds to the homey feel, much like the nondescript corner bars in New Orleans, always modest and contained but packed with residents and neighbors.

The drink prices and specials are also indicative of a working class town. The bar is supplied with four

taps of rotating craft beer as well as the mainstays of Dos Equis and Bud Light and a growing number of cans, none over $4.50 and all from Texas, as well as an everyday happy hour (2 to 8 p.m.) that offers $2 wells and domestic longnecks. On “Texas Tuesdays,” anything from the Lone Star State is on special. As the bar has just opened, they are also in the process of putting a small but mighty cocktail menu together and compiling a high-end selection of wines, whiskeys and liquors for the distinguished patron.

Although San Antonio can be inviting and inexpensive, we are not immune to much of the prejudice and ignorance that seems to spark the American imagination into doing despicable things. Hoppe often being asked to present the real (i.e. “male”) owner of Martini Ranch and the Coma girls facing the obstacles that come with having to break the spell of the stereotypical rock band (four to five sexually assertive straight white males). The trio are constantly reminded of the generosity of San Antonio and its inhabitants, whether as bar owners or as a traveling band.

“It’s like being in a band. The only reason we’re successful is because of the people. It’s passion. That’s it. That’s with the band, it’s passion. We, like, put our hearts on our sleeve and see what happens,” Alva says.

“We didn’t look the way you’re supposed to look. We still

did it. We did something. I think people can tell that when we do something we put our hearts into it.”

The shared goals of The Bang Bang Bar — yes, it’s named after the flannel speakeasy from David Lynch’s Twin Peaks — are not mired in modesty, as Diaz elucidates. “I hope it becomes a staple of San Antonio and people just know that it’s somewhere to visit … hang out and have a good time and feel comfortable, and everyone know everybody … I hope a year from now, it’s just got its own thing going.”

If the bar does become “a staple of San Antonio,” it will, interestingly, do so because of the people it serves.

In order to furnish the establishment with the tasteful and well-preserved lounges, sofas, love seats, tables and lamps situated throughout the bar — resplendent in the simple sophistication of being utilized and loved for a long, long time — the owners searched Craigslist and local thrift stores, bypassing Ikea and expensive antique handlers.

“The furniture that we did find, it was just kinda what we could afford. The things that we started to find started to come together,” Alva remarks.

The wall behind the bar is bathed in neon lights that queer the ambers and sepias of the bottles sitting inside of old CONTINUED ON PAGE 45 ►

sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 43

Dick’s Last Resort Republic of Texas Rainforest Cafe Cowboy’s Alamo City Harley-Davidson Marriot Rivercenter Marriot Riverwalk Hyatt Regency Hilton Palacio del Rio Pat O’Brien’s Joe’s Crab Shack Mad Dog’s British Pub Moses Roses Hideout The Original Mexican Restaurant Wyndham San Antonio Riverwalk

Cajun Corn Beignets Red beans & Dirty Rice Hurricane’s Voodoo Chicken Cajun Calamari Pork Shank Pim’s Cup Royale Bourdain Balls Fried Shrimp Po’Boy Voodoo Punch Fried Alligator King Cake Blackened Fish Mardi Gras-Ritas

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 6

1-6PM

COME IN YOUR MARDI GRAS ATTIRE! Downtown River Walk is throwing a PARTY-GRAS!

FOOD • DRINK • MUSIC • PARADE @ 4 & 5 • HENNA TATOOS MASK MAKING • TAROT CARDS • BEADS • FACE PAINTING 44 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

Please drink responsibly. Plan your ride home.

NIGHTLIFE

LOUIE PRECIADO

ERIC MORENO

Old vinyl records once belonging to Alva’s mother span the stretch of the bar (top left). A lone turntable sits on one of the many pieces of recycled vintage furniture throughout the “vinyl dive” (above).

◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 43

television shells. Diaz describes the process of furnishing the 3,500-square-foot space as a grassroots effort.

“It was just so cool to pick up all this furniture because we got to go to people’s houses and they told us stories.

Like, ‘Oh, this was my mom’s,’ or ‘We couldn’t afford TV but we had family that worked at the department store, we got it and it’s been in our family ever since.’ It’s just cool because it’s more aspects of San Antonio inside the bar,” Diaz says.

Alva adds, “It’s like home touches in here. In the cabinet, my grandma made those dolls, some records on the wall are from Jamie’s dad, my mom’s records are up on the bar top. Just little things of ours that we’re throwing in here for everybody to share.”

As far as the operation of The Bang Bang Bar, from the first night of business (January 15) the bar’s survival has been dependent upon friends and loved ones. Ray “Tattooedboy” Scarborough designed the logo and the

faux movie posters advertising the theme of each night at the entrance, and the sound booth will be run by Diaz and Alva’s litany of talented musician friends.

“So they all know what the bands want and what to look for. I made it a point to have friends that ... knew sound that could come in. And I’m learning, too, and so is Jenn,” says Diaz.

“We’re basically employing all of our friends,” Hoppe adds. “I mean, literally, my very good friend did all the contracting work and he’s not even a contractor, y’know?

And then we’ve got another mutual friend in there finishing stuff out and their friends are running sound and doing gigs and all my friends are bartending. It’s a very family-run bar.”

Having owned and operated Martini Ranch, Hoppe has former customers that have followed her over to her new place, and they are mixing and mingling with the friends and fans of the Girl in a Coma rhythm section to create the atmosphere that the owners truly desire.

“We’re gonna have to find a concept that will work for my old-timey regulars and the hipsters and the St. Mary’s crowd,” Hoppe says. “We have to bring all these people together. That’s what I want this bar to be known for.”

This is not just a flight of fancy, as Diaz is quick to point out, “When we first started a band that was one of our childhood goals. We’d be like, ‘We’re gonna play in a band and we’re gonna own a business someday.’ And then we just went and did it all.”

As long as the trio maintains their sincere approach to satisfying San Antonio, the city should reward the women with their place alongside the bars that they revere. Places like Taco Land and Lerma’s Nite Club, establishments that, despite the modesty of décor or clientele, were made better by the community they serviced. As far as where Alva, Diaz and Hoppe would like to be in a year, Diaz jokingly quips, “Hopefully, not so far in debt.” dtbuffkin@sacurrent.com sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 45

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MUSIC

SO GOOD AT BEING IN TROUBLE UMO’s Ruban Nielson weighs the future and complicated love on brilliant new effort MATT STIEB

Like David Bowie or a contemporary story.”

Yoplait Go-Gurt, Ruban In 2010, so the story goes, Nielson of Unknown Nielson moved from New Zealand Mortal Orchestra has an uncanny to Portland to start over, trading talent for ideas that feel in the his role as a punk guitarist for a moment and of the near future, just graphic designer. Still hearing the an election cycle or two away. call of music, he began recording The undisputed hit from his new in his basement and posted record Multi-Love, “Can’t Keep a song under an anonymous Checking My Phone,” pinpoints moniker: Unknown Mortal the feeling of a distracted mind Orchestra. “Ffunny Ffrends,” the checking updates and texts every original single, is a crackling and four minutes. Set to a deft hi-hat irresistible psych-pop tune in shuffle, the tune could be a radio which Nielson shows his morehit if it wasn’t from the pen of a than-capable shredding. Shortly Polynesian psych rock savant. after the track appeared, Fat “The World is Crowded/ Did your Possum Records tracked Nielson doctor prescribe enough?” he down and signed him. sings on “The World is Crowded,” Despite their warm, bright feeling anxious and in awe of a tones, the first two records take world tipping into the future. on some heavy themes. Addiction For the 35-year-old, these and depression play starring themes also act as a form of roles. “I wish that I could swim branding, ensuring that listeners and sleep like a shark does/ I’d don’t banish him to the dollar-bin fall to the bottom and hide to the behind the stereo. end of time,” he sings. It’s a high“I feel like people associate me definition, snapshot memory for with music from the past a lot. anyone who hasn’t been able to Especially on II, people said it was get out of bed for weeks at a time. supposed to feel like a lost record “It’s not like I sit down and say ‘I that you would buy at a yard sale, want to write something relatable,' or something like that, and then but on II, I was really laying out a lot discover some kind of hidden of stuff,” said Nielson. “On [Multigem,” said Nielson. “On the next Love] I did too, but I wanted this record, I felt like I wanted to take all album to be more uplifting, rather of these influences from the past than something you would wallow but talk about things that could in. I wanted the album to be a more only be written about now fun kind of mood.” … I’ve always thought that Multi-Love immediately UMO was a futuristic band, Unknown Mortal sets itself apart from Orchestra with but the music sounds like Nielson’s previous work.

Lower Dens something pulled up from Though his first two $15 7pm Sat, Feb. 6 the past. But the way that albums have funky traits Paper Tiger the band started and the in their DNA — when was 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. way my career has been is the last time you heard a papertigersa.com

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Nielson on left

psych record with breakbeats? — this is the first UMO record that is actively, deeply funky.

“I think the thing that makes us different [from other psych bands] is the influence of funk and soul,” said Nielson. “For us to become our own band and set ourselves apart and give ourselves our own identity, it was good for us to lean on the influence of black music and make it a kind of psychedelic R&B.” Like the first two records, Multi-Love revolves around a core theme. But where loneliness dominates on Unknown Mortal Orchestra and II, the third record swings to the opposite end of the spectrum, where too much love creates too many problems.

In his brief, brilliant run as Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Nielson has laid it all out, singing his heartache to the exquisite sound of synthesizer and guitar.

With the benefit of hindsight, II’s “So Good at Being In Trouble” pops out as a defining statement.

For his own welfare, this might be a problem. But for an audience wanting a raw songwriter with inexorable talent, it’s a formula for lifelong fandom.

“There always seems to be some kind of madness going on.

I put together the story of my life through making music, and then I explain my own life back to me and explain my feelings back to myself,” said Nielson. “Then sometimes I listen back to my songs and can understand what I’ve just been through a lot easier. I hope that other people use the music for that, too.”

W/ IN THE WHALE 7:00PM ALL AGES Friday, February 5th Do210 & Untapped Fest Presents

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BY NATURE 8:00PM ALL AGES Saturday, February 6th Transmission Events Presents

UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA W/ SPECIAL GUESTS LOWER DENS

7:00PM ALL AGES SMALL ROOM AFTERPARTY - LOWER DENS DJ SET! Friday, February 12th Paper Tiger Presents

THE RED LEGS 8:00PM ALL AGES Saturday, February 13th Transmission Events Presents

MURDER CITY DEVILS W/ RIVERBOAT GAMBLERS & CASKETS 8:00PM ALL AGES Thursday, February 18h Transmission Events Presents

MC CHRIS W/ NATHAN ANDERSON, BITFORCE 7:00PM ALL AGES Saturday, February 20th Paper Tiger Presents

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W/ EAGLE CLAW, HOTZI, COSMIC BEHEMOTH OVER THE TOP 7:00PM ALL AGES PORTION OF PROCEEDS DONATED TO: THRIVEWELL CANCERFOUNDATION OF SAN ANTONIO

sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 47

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48 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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MUSIC

NAUGHTY THOUGHTS

Vin Rock from Naughty By Nature drops some history ABRAHAM P. DELEON

If you grew up listening to hip-hop during the 1990s, Naughty By Nature (NBN) is synonymous with that pivotal decade in which rap music swept the imagination of mainstream America. During the 1980s and early 1990s, New York City was the epicenter of that implosion of music, spawned from street corners, block party battles and hip-hop “toasting” — stemming form the Jamaican tradition of talking or chanting over a beat — that forged the trademark sound that emerged from that iconic city.

Speaking with Vin Rock from NBN further reinforced the centrality of that NYC experience. Hailing from East Orange, New Jersey, NBN likened themselves as the “stepchild” of that historical musical movement, claiming, “If you weren’t from the five boroughs of New York, you might as well have been from Iowa.”

NYC was such an insular hip-hop city that when NBN (originally The New Style) took the stage at a birthday party for DJ Red Alert, attended by legends in the game like KRS-One, De La Soul and A Tribe Called Quest, they were booed off the stage simply for being from Jersey.

With the rejection of their lyrical skill and unique sound, it pushed them to come at the hip-hop game harder and stronger, eventually garnering notoriety from hits like “O.P.P.,” “Ghetto Bastard” and “Feel Me Flow.”

In conversation with Rock, I inquired about what 1991 was like for them when “O.P.P.” finally dropped. He chuckled and said, “It was like winning the Super Bowl.”

They were a household name, and their videos and music rang out across radio platforms, music videos and Yo! MTV Raps.

Despite this past success, NBN does not feel stagnant in their former glory. Rock spoke of the need to create, stating that “nothing is stopping us artists from the ’90s from putting out new music.”

NBN aim to record two new EPs in 2016 and now feel they have “an encyclopedia of experiences to pull from.”

Rock spoke of the desire for the group to use current technology, not accessible before, to help spread their music. They also have a plan to build group unity once again: using a tour bus to travel to each show to help put them in a collective and creative spirit. Rock looks forward to touring Texas, reaching out to cities they have not performed in for a long time and building group cohesion that a bus tour could potentially facilitate. From these new shows and traveling in the intimate setting of a bus, NBN plan on producing a 25th anniversary documentary that details this cross-country trip.

For Rock, it is not impossible for iconic ’90s hip-hop artists to still be relevant today. “I think you’ll see a lot of artists from the ’90s putting out new music,” which is his prediction for artists such as Redman, Busta Rhymes and A Tribe Called Quest. Rock believes that artists from his era can still produce, write and record quality hip-hop that transcends current limitations of overly produced tracks with that all-too-often auto-tuned sound.

Rock spoke of the influences that these Naught y By Na • ture, spiff y by ch oice artists could potentially have on the newer generations of rappers that he believes do not have the lyrical skills or credibility you had to and hearing these lyricists pushes their musical have in the early ’90s to be successful in the game. complexity in new directions.

An over-reliance on auto-tuned sound has put a damper Being able to speak to an artist that was part of the on the critical edge old school hip-hop possessed, and explosion of hip-hop at a pivotal historical moment as Rock critiqued, “[is] so dumbed down that a 3-yeardemonstrated the lasting power and imprint this old can get it.” He wants hip-hop to “speak to the chaos African-American vernacular form has left on our that’s going on out here” so that “social and political culture here in the United States. Once the interview consciousness” will find itself back within the lyrical was completed, I found myself reflecting back on the content of hip-hop that is historically situated and can lyrical consciousness that once existed in hippotentially have a lot of “substance.” hop, born from an urban experience amongst Rock believes not being tied to a major label Naughty By systemic racism, police brutality and the also frees their creative spirit and feels that the Nature w/ Ghost economic hardships for working class African corporate pressures on hip-hop are a stifling Palace Americans in the 1970s and 1980s. Let’s $17-$47 reality. Rock does credit current artists like 8pm Fri, Feb. 5 hope that magic and consciousness that once Kendrick Lamar that are lyrically capable of Paper Tiger animated hip-hop can still find a place within driving hip-hop toward greater creativity and 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. this influential musical genre. papertigersa.com hopes that the new generation of artists seeing sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 49

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52 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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MUSIC

FRI

5

Bloodshot Bill

Plucked from the same raucous-billy tree as Hasil Adkins, Charlie Feathers or King Khan & BBQ Show, Bloodshot Bill is a one-man band of several men’s worth of motherfucker. This greasy-haired, palsy-lipped shoulder-rocker has swallowed the same potion as some of rock ‘n’ roll’s greatest front-folks: from Wanda Jackson to Eddie Cochran, Jerry Lee to Conway to Screamin’ Jay, Bloodshot Bill keeps up with the best of them. That’s a mighty tall order for such great company, a Long Island Ice Tea’s worth of ‘tude and hillbilly blues, a triple — which is a corny-ass way to say that Bill’s making some staggering moonshine monkey music. Right in the pocket of your little sister’s pajamas. Trailer park polk salad punk played on a bass drum, a hi-hat, guitar and what comes sailing or snarling out of his gullet, at times sweet as honeysuckle or bitter as black coffee. Recently, Bill’s stock has risen as he has gotten attention from our great white neighbor to the north, Austin. However, he will be embarrassing his mother and shaming his children with the devil’s sweet, sweet music this Saturday on the Strip. Catch him before he starts collaborating with Jack White and Pharrell in Dave Grohl’s home studio. $5, 10pm, The Amp Room, 2407 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 320-2122, theamproom.com dtbuffkin@sacurrent.com

Wednesday, February 3

16 Psyche Flimsy, whispery riffs from fingerplucked guitars, arpeggiated piano and spacious bass lay the groundwork for the swooning and crooning of these up-andcoming minors. With Manyrooms, Narrow/ Arrow and Exwhy. Imagine Books, 8pm

Gen-Y Wednesdays: ‘90s Night

Jncos, rat-tails, light-up L.A. Gears and professional athletes dressed as elderly women — what a time to be alive. Drink through the music and the memories with other been-legal-for-a-minute. The Amp Room, 7pm

The Georges South Texas stalwarts The

Georges inject rockabilly with the pop stylings of the Fab Four. Gruene Hall, 6pm

Hump Wednesdays One of the best DJs

in the States, with the awards to prove it, hosts this weekly event at one of the best new restaurants in town, with the grub to prove it. Featuring DJ Donnie Dee and Special Guests. Alchemy, 8pm

Jonny Gray – February Residency

Nasally folk-popper Jonny Gray, perhaps best known for a stint on reality TV talent show The Voice (aka The Death of Music and TV), begins his residency at the bar with the famous sound system. 502 Bar, 9pm

Oh Bleep! Wednesdays Show hump day who’s boss by going up (to the rooftop) on a Wednesday with 12th Planet. Lush Rooftop, 10pm

Rebel Grrrl Wednesdays with DJ Mighty Iris Spinning all-female

musicians, DJ Mighty Iris proves that women can fucking rock, and anyone that disagrees can get a crash course every Wednesday at the new neighborhood vinyl bar (and go fuck themselves). The Bang Bang Bar, 9pm

Thursday, February 4

Agent Orange Innovators of one of the

best music mashups ever, surf-punk, Agent Orange is also the creator of bropunk (but no one seems to talk about that). With In the Whale. Paper Tiger, 7pm

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Big Eyes and Flesh Lights I’ll give

you three words and you guess where melodic punkers Big Eyes are from: white, young, Brooklyn. Flesh Lights raises the banner for Dadaist kiss-me punk carried by elders the Angry Samoans and The Undertones. With Lloronas and The Zukinis. The Ten Eleven, 9pm

Hinder After frontman Austin John

(who'd probably make a better alternative model than a singer) left the band to pursue a solo career, Hinder enlisted a new singer to fill his designer-distressed jeans. Breakout hit “Lips of an Angel” will never “sound so sweet” again. With Sons of Texas, Within Reason and Ages Apart. Aztec Theatre, 7pm

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54 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

Mobile Deathcamp One-time Gwar

member Todd Evans leads this equally brutal metal band sans projectile spewage. With Pawns of Christ, Deadpool and Death’s Embrace. Jack’s Patio Bar, 8pm

R5: Sometime Last Night Tour with Parade of Lights The slightly more

mature step up from Tiger Beat-worthy muzak, R5’s singalong choruses and good lookin’ performers are sure to have their poster in someone’s bedroom. Atmospheric and ambient, invigorating and danceable, Parade of Lights is all you’d want from an electro-pop band, besides a blowjob.

With Ryland. The Majestic Theatre, 7pm

Thursday JAZZ life For 15 years, jazz of

all perspectives has been shared within this intimate space. Carmens de la Calle Café, 7:30pm

Friday, February 5

Charlie Robison Makin’ bank from country-fried nostalgia, Charlie Robinson’s simple sincerity is commendable (and predictable).

Gruene Hall, 8pm

Chris Conde When not performing as

one half of the queer, booty-bouncing badass duo Ghetto Prom, Conde combines traditional singer-songwriter refrains with rhythmic acoustic guitar and cerebral spurts of hip-hop. With FILMSTRIPS and Yes, Alexander.

Limelight, 9pm

Friday Nights with Ghostpizza Get

TGIF’ed on the top hip-hop with S.A. tastemaker Ghostpizza. The Phantom Room, 9pm

From Bernstein to Piazzolla The final

chapter of the Las Américas Festival is a smorgasbord of sounds and styles.

Two of legendary composer-conductor Leonard Bernstein’s masterpieces are presented: his symphonic suite from the Oscar-winning film On the Waterfront and his Chichester Psalms, featuring the San Antonio Symphony Mastersingers. Tango-king Astor Piazzolla’s concerto for bandoneón, Aconcagua and Arturo Márquez’s Danzón No. 2 add Latin zest to the proceedings. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 8pm

Lochness Mobsters Goddess forbid the

levees break again, but if they do, follow Lochness Mobsters. The Louisiana via Austin trio may not know how to surf, but they sure sound like they’ve been navigating waves of piss, beer and pissbeer for a solid minute. Hi-Tones, 10pm

Los Callejeros de San Anto Piñata

Protest frontman Alvaro Del Norte leads this throwback norteño quartet through Tex-Mex tunes meant to make your abuela cry. Beethoven Maennerchor, 5pm

s a m y a n i t n ca e t to h t e r ’ e an

Max Stalling A native of Uvalde, Stalling

sings of South Texas life with a cheerful electric slide. Floore’s Country Store, 7pm

W

w u o y t tha eryone

St. Olaf Choir The world-renowned

St. Olaf Choir and conductor Anton Armstrong present a concert featuring sacred and secular masterpieces, as well as works for chorus and grand pipe organ. University United Methodist Church, 7:30pm

tell ev

! t u o b a

Terri Hendrix Project 5: Love You Strong Record Release with Lloyd Maines In 2002, Terri Hendrix won a

Grammy for “Lil’ Jack Slade,” a tune she co-wrote with the Dixie Chicks, but her solo stuff is just as award-worthy, with strong and melodic stories of acoustic country rock. Snatch up the first of her handful of Project 5 releases. Sam’s Burger Joint, 7pm

Saturday, February 6

628 Jackson St | 210-320-1840

45 Adapters Boots and braces will

abound at this meeting of the minds (minds inside of shaved heads, that is). With The Industry, The Booked, Ironhead Diversion and Riverside Riot.

The Korova, 8pm

Bryson Tiller On his 2015 release

CLUB SiRIUS

TRAPSOUL, Bryson Tiller remixes R. Kelly’s sexual swagger with the smooth, sensual delivery of Frank Ocean. Aztec Theatre, 7pm

The Heroine Take two parts cock, two

parts rock, one part SoCo, four parts wily unkempt coif and eight parts searing guitar and you’ve concocted an outfit that should closely resemble the southern swagger of The Heroine.

With Donella Drive, RMRS, Signalman, Recreating Eden and Marila Voe. The Ten Eleven, 8pm

Langton Drive Outspoken, distorted

and raised on punk, Langton Drive is bringing the spirit of Riot Grrrl back with a modernized sound. With Solitary Runaway. The Bang Bang Bar, 11pm

Reggae on Broadway Saturdays Get irie with resident selectors Megladon Hi Fi and Ras Gilbert of Shashamani Sound. One Drop Reggae Shop and Juice Bar, 9pm

Sesame Street Live “Make a New Friend” Jim Henson’s beloved puppets traipse through town to teach us a

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sacurrent.com • February 3—9, 2016 • CURRENT 55

MUSIC

thing or two about making some motherfucking friends. Freeman Coliseum 10:30am & 2pm

Steady Legend Reggae, funk, ska, soul,

FAT TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 9

swing … there isn’t much that Steady Legend can’t play, if you don’t mind a No Doubt-playing-Rufus'-tunes vibe. With Bonsai Nation and Dollface. Limelight, 9pm

White Christ Maybe Darby Crash tries a

couple stints in rehab and eventually dries out, maybe Pat Smear never joins the Foo Fighters, further aiding the myth that they are a rock ‘n’ roll band, maybe the remaining members never ask Shane West to pretend to be Darby Crash for a movie/reunion tour.

Maybe. Maybe White Christ is badass and sounds kinda like the Germs and Damaged-era Black Flag. The Mix, 10pm

Sunday, February 7

Doc Watkins Trio The good doctor of the

Live Music on Patio All Day

DJ UPSTAIRS - DUELING PIANO BAR!

Ronnie Bowen duo (3-7) Copper Chief (8-midnight)

Face painters ballon artists and of course the WORLD FAMOUS HURRICANE!!

210-220-1076 121 ALAMO PLAZA

56 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

keys is in every Sunday at the oldest bar on the River Walk running the gamut from Willie Nelson-penned Texas classics to jazz standards, Booker T and everything else in between. Esquire Tavern, 3pm

Las Tesoros de Hoy CD Release & Concert The Esperanza Center

presents Las Estrellas de Ayer, Las Tesoros de Hoy CD release and concert.

Las Tesoros de San Antonio were four mujeres from the West Side of San Antonio who were individually renowned performers during the 1940s-'60s. The CD features original music compiled from early recordings of the mujeres and is dedictaed to and features the songs of Perla Tapatía, a Tesoro who died in 2014. Esperanza Peace & Justice Center, 3 & 6pm

Valentine Concert with Sunny Ozuna Put him in jail if the leader of the

Sunglows and the Sunliners doesn’t teach you a thing or two about love with his trademark croon. Trader’s Village, 10am

Wonderbitch The vapor-wave visuals

in their music videos mixed with psyched-out prog-pop (it exists) makes Wonderbitch an eargasm as well as an eyegasm. With Bright Like the Sun. Limelight, 9pm

Monday, February 8

Bret Graham Gruene Hall staple Bret

Graham has a serious fixation on all things "honky tonk." Seriously, his album's called Honky Tonk the Night Away, along with a song called "Honky Tonk Disorder." Gruene Hall, 6pm

Monday Happy Days DJ Stereyo spins

latin, jazz, house, soul, trip-hop and funk to get you over your case of the Mondays.

Sancho’s Cantina, 4 & 9pm

Tuesday, February 9

Glenn’s Gems Enjoy an all-vinyl evening of psych-rock and dream-pop as the husband/wife duo behind K23 Gallery curate the tunes every Tuesday. La Botánica, 8pm

Nile Since 1998’s Amongst the Catacombs

of Nephren-Ka, Egyptian inspired techmetal masters Nile have been writing and performing the soundtrack to the most metal Mummy movie series that has never been. With Flesh Hoarder and Wings of Abaddon. The Korova, 7pm

Slim Bawb’s Fat Tuesday Show Whether with his Fabulous Stumpgrinders or GatorBait, Slim Bawb plays no-stringsattached catchy Cajun folk (technically, there’s four strings attached … to the banjo, hay-oh). Gruene Hall, 6pm

502 Bar 502 Embassy Oaks Drive, (210) 257-8125, 502bar.com Alchemy 1123 N. Flores St., (210) 320-1168, alchemysanantonio.com Aztec Theatre 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355 theaztectheatre.com Beethoven Maennerchor 422 Pereida St., (210) 222-1521, beethovenmaenerchor.com Carmen’s De La Calle Café 320 N. Flores St., (210) 281-4349, carmensdelacalle.com Esperanza Peace & Justice Center 922 San Pedro Ave., (210) 228-0201, esperanzacenter.org Esquire Tavern 155 E. Commerce St., (210) 222-2521, esquiretavern-sa.com Floore’s Country Store 14492 Old Bandera Road, (210) 695-8827, liveatfloores.com Freeman Coliseum 3201 E. Houston St., freemancoliseum.com Gruene Hall 1281 Gruene Road (830) 606-1281 gruenehall.com Hi-Tones 621 E. Dewey Pl., (210) 573-6220, hitonessa.com Imagine Books & Records 8373 Culebra Road, (210) 236-7668, imaginebookstore. com Jack’s Patio Bar 3030 Thousand Oaks Drive, (210) 494-2309, jacksbarsa.com La Botánica 2911 N. St. Mary’s St., vivalabotanica.com Limelight 2718 N. St. Mary’s St., thelimelightsa.com Lush Rooftop 4553 N. Loop 1604, (210) 858-9028, facebook.com/lushrooftop Majestic Theatre 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-5700, majesticempire.com One Drop Reggae Shop and Juice Bar 8800 Broadway St. #8816, (210) 481-4604 Paper Tiger 2410 N. St Mary’s St., papertigersa.com Phantom Room 2106 N. St. Mary’s St. Sam’s Burger Joint 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com Sancho’s Cantina 628 Jackson St., (210) 320-1840, sanchoscantinaandgrill.com The Amp Room 2407 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 320-2122, theamproom.com The Bang Bang Bar 119 El Mio Drive, (210) 833-2203, facebook.com/thebangbangbar210 The Korova 107 E. Martin St., (210) 226-5070, thekorova.com The Mix 2403 N St. Mary’s St., (210) 735-1313 The Ten Eleven 1011 Avenue B, (210) 320-9080, theteneleven.com Tobin Center for the Performing Arts 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org Traders Village 9333 SW Loop 410, (210) 6238383, tradersvillage.com University United Methodist Church 5084 De Zavala Road, (210) 696-1033, theu.org

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THE WILBUR THEATRE A large crowd braved a snowstorm to come out to Savage Love Live at Boston’s Wilbur Theatre last week. Questions were submitted on index cards, which allowed questioners to remain anonymous and forced them to be succinct. I got to as many of them as I could over two long, raucous, boozy hours. Here are some of the questions I didn’t have time for in Boston …

What do you think of poop play?

I think of it rarely.

How long should I keep my partner locked in male chastity?

Until Rick Santorum is president.

What exactly causes relationships to end?

Relationships end for all sorts of different reasons — boredom, neglect, contempt, betrayal, abuse — but all relationships that don’t end survive for the same reason: The people in them just keep not breaking up. Sometimes people in relationships that need to end never get around to breaking up.

I was in an open relationship once and was heartbroken in the end because my partner broke the rules we made. My current partner wants to make our monogamous relationship open, but I am hesitant because of my previous burn. How do I get over this and become comfortable with an open relationship again?

Rejecting nonmonogamy because your last nonmonogamous relationship failed makes about as much sense as rejecting monogamy because your last monogamous relationship failed.

If people applied the same standard to closed relationships that they apply to open ones (“I was in one that failed so I can never enter into another one!”), most of us would’ve had two relationships in our lives — one open, one closed — and then either taken a vow of celibacy or pledged to stick to NSA sex for the rest of our lives.

Our choices are informed by our experience, of course, and you had a bad experience with an open

SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage

relationship. Open relationships might not be for you. But it’s also possible that the problem with your last relationship wasn’t the openness but the partner.

Advice for happily child-free people in a baby- and parentworshipping world?

You could take comfort in your free time, your disposable income, and your vomit-free wardrobe. You could also see baby and parent worship for what it is: a desperate attempt on the part of the busy, broke, and vomit-spackled (and the people trying to sell stuff to us) to make ourselves feel better about the consequential and irrevocable choice we made to have kids.

Magnum condoms are just marketing, right?

Wrong — but you don’t have to take my word for it. Just spend 10 minutes on Tumblr and you’ll see for yourself.

I accidentally told my dad about your podcast when teaching him how to use iTunes. I called home a couple of weeks later, and Dad told me he’s been listening and Mom yells, “I’m not gonna pee on you!” L It could’ve been worse. Mom could’ve yelled: “We can’t talk right now! I’m peeing on your father!”

Why is the term “monogamy” and not “monoamory”?

Monogamy comes from the Greek “monos” for “single” and “gamos” for “marriage.” So the term literally means “one marriage” not “one love.” Since you can be monogamous without being married, and married without being monogamous, perhaps the term really should be “monoamory,” meaning “one love at a time, married or not.” But meaning follows usage, and an effort to get people to use monoamory would be just as futile as efforts to stop people from using polyamory because it mixes Greek (“poly”) and Latin (“amory”).

On the Lovecast, Dan and The Gist’s Mike Pesca “tackle” a football relationship question: savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

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64 CURRENT • February 3—9, 2016 • sacurrent.com

“Roll With It”—a round of applause.

1 Part of NKOTB 4 Reason for a Boy Scout badge 9 Trolley 13 Twenty-one desirable 14 Brunch beverage 15 Negative space 16 Arts and crafts chain in a 2014 Supreme Court decision 18 It may be golden 19 Pianist Tatum 20 Like just-above-freezing temperatures, in Celsius 22 Racetrack suggestion 25 2, 4, 6, 8, what do these approximate?

26 The Hamburglar’s catchphrase 30 Rallying cry against Cobra, perhaps 31 Chinese premier Zhou ___ 32 Karl Lagerfeld prop 35 Play ___ role 36 Subsequent to 37 “I can do that!”

38 D.C. ballplayer 39 Henry Doorly Zoo city 40 First two-time Nobelist 41 Foolish talk, to B.A. Baracus 43 1990s defense secretary Les 46 Thai appetizers on skewers 47 Through the efforts of 51 TV show taper, once

52 Evian waters 53 “Va-va-voom!” relative 58 Run in neutral 59 Pungent-tasting, in a way 60 Veterans Day mo.

61 Long-distance swimmer Diana 62 Drummer Charlie of the Rolling Stones 63 Cute spherical character in “The Force Awakens” demonstrated in this grid (not counting this answer)

DOWN

1 “No dice” 2 “The Name of the Rose” novelist Umberto 3 One W of WWW 4 “Uncle” of early TV 5 Philips who said “How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand” 6 Prefix for call or cop 7 Bookstore ID 8 Actor Diggs who coauthored the 2015 children’s book “Mixed Me!” 9 Do very well 10 Cheekbone enhancer 11 “I’m betting everything,” to poker players 12 Track events 14 ___ Beach, South Carolina

17 Creature born in 1982, according to the Weekly World News 21 Bagel and lox purveyor 22 Water pipe in a lounge (var.)

23 ___ d’art 24 Factory-made, as housing 26 Actor Gosling 27 “___ Good Ship Lollipop” 28 Goes out of focus 29 Place to pick up glasses 32 1998 interactive toy with its own artificial language 33 First astrological sign 34 ___-do-well (slacker) 36 Diplomat’s title, for short 37 Forester automaker 39 Make like a pig 40 Like a memorable tune 41 Full of bad luck 42 Some Indonesians, by location 43 Used the dining room table 44 Untrustworthy 45 Comedian Poundstone 48 “Fish” or “CHiPs,” e.g.

49 Melt base 50 “In memoriam” writeup 54 Droid 55 Air___ (lodging website) 56 “Better Call Saul” star Odenkirk 57 “I could’ve had _ _ _!” (juice slogan)

ETC.

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): The Bible’s Book of Exodus tells the story of the time Moses almost met God. “Show me your glory, please,” the prophet says to his deity, who’s hiding. “You cannot see my face,” God replies, “but I will show you my back parts.”

That’s good enough for Moses. He agrees.

I hope that you, too, will be satisfied with a tantalizingly partial epiphany, Aries. I’m pretty sure that if you ask nicely, you can get a glimpse of a splendor that’s as meaningful to you as God was to Moses. It may only be the “back parts,” but that should still stir you and enrich you.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): The archaic English word “quaintrelle” refers to a woman who treats her life as a work of art.

She is passionate about cultivating beauty and pleasure and wit in everything she is and does.

But she’s not a narcissistic socialite. She’s not a snooty slave to elitist notions of style. Her aim is higher and sweeter: to be an impeccable, well-crafted fount of inspiration and blessings.

I propose that we resuscitate and tinker with this term, and make it available to you. In 2016, you Tauruses of all genders will be inclined to incorporate elements of the quaintrelle, and you will also be skilled at doing so. If you have not yet dived in to this fun work, start now!

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): Sufi teacher (and Gemini) Idries Shah offered this teaching: “They say that when Fortune knocks, you should open the door. But why should you make Fortune knock, by keeping the door shut?” Let’s make this your featured meditation, Gemini. If there is anywhere in your life where proverbial doors are shut — either in the world outside of you or the world inside of you — unlock them and open them wide. Make it easy for Fortune to reach you.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): Many Cancerians harbor a chronic ache of melancholy about what they’re missing. The unavailable experience in question could be an adventure they wish they were having or an absent ally they long to be near or a goal they wish they had time to pursue. That’s the bad news. The good news is that you can harness the chronic ache.

In fact, it’s your birthright as a Cancerian to do so. If you summon the willpower to pull yourself up out of the melancholy, you can turn its mild poison into a fuel that drives you to get at least some of what you’ve been missing. Now is a favorable time to do just that.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): How will the next chapter of your story unfold? I suspect there are two possible scenarios. In one version, the abundance of choices overwhelms you. You get bogged down in an exciting but debilitating muddle, and become frazzled, frenetic and overwrought. In the other possible scenario, you navigate your way through the lavish freedom

with finesse. Your intuition reveals exactly how to make good use of the fertile contradictions.

You’re crafty, adaptable and effective. So which way will you go? How will the tale unfold? I think it’s completely up to you. Blind fate will have little to do with it. For best results, all you have to do is stay in close touch with the shining vision of what you really want.

you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool.” I suggest you adopt him as your role model for the next two weeks, Sagittarius. All of us need periodic reminders that we’ve got a lot to learn, and this is your time. Be extra vigilant in protecting yourself from your own misinformation and misdirection.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): “To hell

Food connoisseur Anthony Bourdain has a TV show that enables him to travel the globe indulging in his love of exotic cuisine. He takes his sensual delights seriously. In Charleston, South Carolina, he was ecstatic to experience the flavorful bliss of soft-shell crab with lemon pasta and shaved bottarga. “Frankly,” he told his dining companion, “I’d slit my best friend’s throat for this.” Bourdain was exaggerating for comic effect, but I’m concerned you may actually feel that strongly about the gratifications that are almost within your grasp. I have no problem with you getting super-intense in pursuit of your enjoyment. But please stop short of taking extreme measures. You know why.

with my suffering,” wrote Arthur Rimbaud in his poem “May Banners.” I suggest you make that your mantra for now. Anytime you feel a sour thought impinging on your perceptions, say, “To hell with my suffering.” And then immediately follow it up with an expostulation from another Rimbaud poem, “It’s all too beautiful.” Be ruthless about this, Virgo. If you sense an imminent outbreak of pettiness, or if a critical voice in your head blurts out a curse, or if a pesky ghost nags you, simply say, “To hell with my suffering,” and then, “It’s all too beautiful.”

In this way, you can take advantage of the fact that you now have more power over your emotional pain than usual.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): “I like people who unbalance me,” says Irish writer Colum McCann. Normally I wouldn’t dream of encouraging you to make the same declaration, Libra. My instinct is to help you do everything necessary to maintain harmony.

But now is one of those rare times when you can thrive on what happens when you become a bit tilted or uneven or irregular. That’s because the influences that unbalance you will be the same influences that tickle your fancy and charge your batteries and ring your bell and sizzle your bacon.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19):

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18): You may sometimes be drawn to people or places or ideas long before they can give you

their gifts. Although you sense their potential value, you might have to ripen before you’ll be ready to receive their full bounty. Here’s how author Elias Canetti expressed it: “There are books, that one has for 20 years without reading them, that one always keeps at hand, yet one carefully refrains from reading even a complete sentence. Then after 20 years, there comes a moment when suddenly, as though under a high compulsion, one cannot help taking in such a book from beginning to end, at one sitting: it is like a revelation.” I foresee a comparable transition happening for you, Aquarius.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): The Leaning Tower of Pisa is eight stories high, including its belfry, and tilts sideways at a four-degree angle. When builders started construction back in 1173, they laid a weak foundation in unstable soil, and the building has never stood straight since then. And yet it is the most lucrative tourist attraction in the city of Pisa, and one of the top 10 in Italy.

Its flaw is the source of its fame and glory.

What’s the equivalent in your world, Pisces?

Now is a favorable time to take new or extra advantage of something you consider imperfect or blemished.

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): The African Association was a 19th-century British group dedicated to exploring West Africa.

Its members hoped to remedy Europeans’ ignorance about the area’s geography. In one of the Association’s most ambitious projects, it commissioned an adventurer named Henry Nicholls to discover the origin and to chart the course of the legendary Niger River. Nicholls and his crew set out by ship in their quest, traveling north up a river that emptied into the Gulf of Guinea. They didn’t realize, and never figured out, that they were already on the Niger River.

I’m wondering if there’s a comparable situation going on in your life, Scorpio. You may be looking for something that you have already found.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21): Richard P. Feynman was a brilliant physicist who won a Nobel Prize in 1965 for his pioneering work in quantum electrodynamics. He also played the bongo drums and was a competent artist. But excessive pride was not a problem for him. “I’m smart enough to know that I’m dumb,” he testified. “The first principle is that

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