Orlando Weekly December 16, 2015

FREE | DEC. 16-22, 2015

A YEA IN REV R IEW

We re vie in ne w the bes enter ws, mu t (and tainm sic, ar wors ent in t and t) 2015 , P11

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FREE | DE C. 16-22,

2015

Publisher Graham Jarrett Associate Publisher Leslie Egan Editor Erin Sullivan Editorial Arts & Culture Editor Jessica Bryce Young Associate Editor Ashley Belanger Staff Writer Monivette Cordeiro Calendar Editor Thaddeus McCollum Digital Content Editor Colin Wolf Interns Marissa Mahoney, Bernard Wilchusky Contributors Rob Bartlett, Jenn Benner, Jeffrey C. Billman, Rob Boylan, Justin Braun, Teege Braune, Patrick Cooper, Jason Ferguson, Christopher Garcia, Hannah Glogower, Matt Gorney, James Greene Jr., Holly V. Kapherr, Faiyaz Kara, Audrey Kristine, Seth Kubersky, Bao Le-Huu, Nick McGregor, Cameron Meier, Jeff Meyers, Dave Plotkin, Richard Reep, Steve Schneider, Yulia Tikhonova

Maybe save your breath?

Or we could join the rest of the world and not use DST at all (“New bills aims to keep Florida on daylight savings time forever,” Dec. 10). I don’t farm, I do IT for other states. The last thing I need is to be in FUBAR time all year round. It is winter time. We might not have snow, but it is supposed to be dark sooner.

That is how it works. I like the look of this city at night.

Advertising Senior Multimedia Account Executive Dan Winkler Multimedia Account Executives Allison Daake, Lindsey Hahn, Scott Navarro, Michelle Rogers Classified and Legal Rep Jerrica Schwartz

SandR0ck2003, via orlandoweekly.com

A YE IN RE AR VIEW

Marketing and Events Marketing and Events Director Brett Blake Events and Promotions Manager Brad Van De Bogert Promotions Coordinator Rachel Hoyle Marketing/Promotions Interns Kyle Kowalski, Sydnie Blakey, Meghan Brooks Creative Services Creative Services Director Adam McCabe Creative Services Manager Shelby Sloan Graphic Designer Christopher Kretzer Business Business Manager Stacey Commer Business Assistant Allysha Willison Circulation Circulation Manager Keith Coville Euclid Media Group Chief Executive Officer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner Chief Financial Officer Brian Painley Human Resources Director Lisa Beilstein Digital Operations Coordinator Jaime Monzon euclidmediagroup.com National Advertising: Voice Media Group 1-888-278-9866, voicemediagroup.com Orlando Weekly Inc. 16 W. Pine St. Orlando, Florida 32801 orlandoweekly.com Phone 407-377-0400 Fax 407-377-0420 Orlando Weekly is published every week by Euclid Media Group Verified Audit Member Orlando Distribution Orlando Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader.

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This gets proposed every year, then dies in some committee. Here’s the proposal last year. If you want to see change, everyone should email their district representative and CC the governor.

news & features 8 Not in my name

We r evi i ew t enten news, he best COVER DESIGN BY ADAM MCCABE rtai mus (an nme ic, a d wo nt in rt a rst ) Listings d Film 2015 n27 , P1Cinema-oriented events to go see this week 1

Orlando Muslims, community leaders talk about what Islam really means

8 This Modern World 11 The year in local news King cobras, Cuban travel, Constitution Green and other things that made local headlines in 2015

12 The year in state news At the state level, 2015 was all about bear hunting and witch hunting

arts & culture

music

Lance Crass, via orlandoweekly.com

31 Like a record, baby A smattering of 2015 albums we deem essential listening

The 20 best concerts we saw in Orlando in 2015

Matisyahu shaves his signature beard and shakes up his sonic range

17 Top 10 books of 2015

33 Picks This Week

food & drink 21 Top tables 2015 Our fave five restaurants that opened this year … plus two more

21 Tip Jar Bojangles closes all eight Orlando locations, Bosphorous Turkish Cuisine comes to Lake Nona, plus more in our weekly food roundup

25 Recently Reviewed Short takes on restaurants we’ve visited recently

film 27 Women on top Sisters shows us what it would be like if Hollywood wrote comedic characters for women the way it does for men

Your racism is showing. Try using facts instead: According to the statistics available in the FBI database more homicides were committed by white people (8,386) than black people (8,287) since 9/11. Mind you, mass killings are not included in the homicide category so the actual number killed by whites is much higher.

32 Golden tickets 33 Lighten up

Eight nights of joy: Live Active Cultures picks eight greats from 2015

This article is leftist propaganda (“Florida ‘Muslim-free’ gun shop owner wins religious discrimination case,” Nov. 30). The group that has killed BY FAR the most American citizens since 9/11 are young black males. Christian “extremists” aren’t even a close second.

Movies opening this week: Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip, The Assassin, Hitchcock/Truffaut and Star Wars: The Force Awakens

So long, Sisyphus; Orlando’s new patron deity is spark-seeker Prometheus

19 Live Active Cultures

Sign sound-off

28 Opening in Orlando

14 Digging for fire

Banner year for readers and writers; bad year for bedside tables

Jason, via orlandoweekly.com

Great live music rattles Orlando every night

Mary Steinhoff, via orlandoweekly.com

35 This Little Underground Punk on the Patio launches, Fuck the Facts stands out and This Little Underground gets nostalgic during Aterciopelados

So some douche nozzle puts a sign in his gun store that says it is a “Muslim free zone,” some Muslims read about that sign and sue the guy for it, but no Muslim was ever denied a purchase?

The guy was being sued for a sign.

A SIGN. Yeah, I side with the douche nozzle – for now.

calendar 38 Selections 40 The Week 41 Down the Road

Ed Selby, via orlandoweekly.com

back pages Got something to add? Email feedback@orlandoweekly.com.

65 Free Will Astrology 65 Lulu Eightball

First Words compiles emails, letters and comments from orlandoweekly. com. We reserve the right to edit for length, content and clarity.

65 Gimme Shelter 66 Savage Love 67 Classifieds orlandoweekly.com

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NEWS & FEATURES

Mohammad Akhtar

Not in my name Orlando Muslims, community leaders talk about what Islam really means

By Mon ivett e Cor d ei r o

F

Republican presidential candidates, the sentiment behind them has been ever present in national and state politics.

Gov. Rick Scott joined other state governors to ask that Congress refuse to allow any more Syrian refugees to enter the United States after one of the terrorists involved in the Paris attacks made his way into Europe by posing as a Syrian refugee. Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush said American aid toward refugees should be geared toward Syrian Christians.

Forty-seven Democrats, including Florida Democratic U.S. Reps. Gwen Graham and Patrick Murphy, voted for a bill in the House of Representatives that would restrict the admission of Iraqi and Syrian refugees to the United States by requiring extra security procedures. Late last week, California Democratic Rep. Loretta Sanchez said “between 5 and 20 percent” of Muslims “have a desire for a caliphate and to institute that in any way possible,” including the use of terrorism, according to BuzzFeed News. Sanchez later retracted her statements and said she believes “the overwhelming majority of Muslims do not support terrorism or ISIS.” Over and over again, Muslim Americans are asked to prove their humanity and denounce terrorists who happen to be Muslim, when the same isn’t asked of other religions, says Rasha Mubarak, the Orlando regional coordinator for the Council of American-Islamic Relations in Florida.

Mubarak references the shooting that happened directly before San Bernardino at a Planned Parenthood in Colorado.

Described as having extreme anti-abortion views, Robert Dear Jr. is alleged to have shot and killed three people at the clinic. At his first appearance in court, the New York Times reported that Dear told the court, “I’m guilty. There’s no trial. …

I’m a warrior for the babies.” Christians,

atima Ait Rami lives more than 2,457 miles away from San Bernardino, California, where two weeks ago 14 people were killed by a couple alleged to have been inspired by the terrorist group ISIS. But the Tuesday after the massacre, she felt afraid to wear her hijab outside in Orlando.

“I was very worried to get out of my house in the morning,” she says. “My daughter, who also covers her head by her own choosing, was worried about going to college. But we have to go out and move on with our lives. We cannot hide. We didn’t do anything wrong.”

She didn’t see anything out of the ordinary that day, but remembers the phone call the Islamic Center of Orlando on Ruby Lake Road received the day after terrorist attacks killed at least 130 people in Paris.

“We got a voicemail from a man saying he would come to take his revenge,” she says. “That’s why we’re trying to reach out more and show people there’s nothing to fear from us. We want to live happily and peacefully as a community with everyone else.”

Ait Rami and Mohammad Akhtar, president of Muslim Council of America, helped organize a panel earlier this month to speak to Muslims and non-Muslims about perceptions of Islam and terrorism.

“Islam means peace,” Akhtar told about 100 people who came to the panel. “Islam allows no killing no matter what. ... Why do we make a problem with some Muslims a problem with Islam?”

The forum happened before presidential candidate Donald Trump made national news last week calling for “a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what is going on,” according to a campaign press release. Although his specific remarks were widely condemned by other 8

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she says, were not asked to condemn Dear.

“People are tired of trying to always condemn any kinds of acts by people who happen to be Muslim,” she says. “What’s exhausting is it’s still not good enough.

When shootings like this happen, we just want to send our condolences and mourn with other Americans, but we’re put in the position of having to represent our religion.”

Her community is frightened, Mubarak says. She gets calls daily, mostly from women who cover their heads, about bullying or hate crimes that happened in their schools, workplaces or neighborhoods.

“What Donald Trump believes is very toxic,” she says. “It’s hazardous and putting people’s lives at risk. … There’s nothing American or patriotic in what he’s saying or the biased media coverage of Muslims.”

Back at the forum, U.S. Rep. Alan Grayson, D-Orlando, Orange County Sheriff Jerry Demings and other faith leaders were in attendance. Demings says people should get to know their neighbors and report any suspicious activity to law enforcement. Grayson says ISIS and other terrorist organizations are trying to create a sense of terror that divides people and

vilifies the Muslim community.

“Why are we allowing antiMuslims to dictate the narrative of Muslim Americans?” Grayson asks. “The [Republican presidential candidate] race looks like a reality show, but instead of The Biggest Loser, we’re on The Biggest Bigot.

President Obama never descends to inciting fear or hatred.”

Maha Figueroa was a toddler when 9/11 happened, and at 17 years old, she’s only ever lived in a world where Islamophobia is a constant presence.

“What people don’t understand is the people who are committing these acts have a twisted view of the true religion of Islam,” she says after the forum ended.

“But people really think all Muslims are for this or that we have a secret agenda.

We don’t. I was born and raised here, and I think it’s just horrible.”

At her school, she says, it’s hard to make new friends because people make assumptions about her before meeting her.

“It hurts,” she says. “I hope in the future when I grow older, I can just look at this as something that happened in the past. I won’t have to worry about my future kids dealing with this like I did.” mcordeiro@orlandoweekly.com

NEWS & FEATURES

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NEWS & FEATURES

2015: YEAR IN REVIEW

The year in local news King cobras, Cuban travel, Constitution Green and other things that made local headlines in 2015

By Mon ivette Cor d ei r o a n d er i n Su l l i van

1. Mayor Buddy dyer and City Commissioners Sam ings and Patty Sheehan re-elected “The more things change, the more they stay the same” may be the most cliché thing to say about this year’s Orlando municipal elections, but this election was nothing if not cliché. A handful of political outsiders stood up to City Hall (mad as hell, not going to take it, etc.) in an effort to unseat all three of the long-term incumbents. Chief among the challengers’ similar gripes is that downtown Orlando has grown immensely, often to the detriment of the smaller communities populated by taxpayers who can’t afford to partake in its pricey amenities.

After months of increasingly ugly campaigning and contentious political ads and arguments, though, less than 15 percent of the population showed up at the polls and all of the incumbents were re-elected soundly.

2. u.S. department of Justice closes investigation into the death of trayvon Martin On Feb. 24 – almost three years to the day that Miami teen Trayvon Martin was shot dead in a Sanford neighborhood by a self-appointed neighborhood watchman/vigilante wannabe – the U.S. Department of Justice announced that there was insufficient evidence to pursue criminal civil-rights charges against shooter George Zimmerman. That leaves Zimmerman free to continue making bad art, challenging rap stars to boxing matches and tweeting inappropriate images to the world (until Twitter suspends his account, that is).

stadium they’ve always wanted, which has been delayed as the state Legislature has failed to commit the $30 million in public financing requested to complete the deal. Instead, the club will finance the construction itself and pay the city back for the land on which the stadium is to be built. Finally, in October, the club announced the launch of a whole new team in its franchise – the Orlando Pride, a women’s team that will play as part of the National Women’s Soccer League in 2016. Go City.

4. Central Florida becomes Puerto rico’s 79th municipality As Puerto Rico plunged deeper into a financial crisis that included an “unpayable” debt of $72 billion, according to the island’s Gov. Alejandro García Padilla, thousands of people fled the U.S. territory in a mass exodus for Orlando. The city and the rest of Central Florida displaced New York and every other U.S. destination for Puerto Rican migration. Congress has routinely opposed pleas from representatives, activists and the island’s own governor to allow Puerto Rico, whose residents are U.S. citizens, to use state bankruptcy protections and create a comprehensive debt-repayment plan. Florida’s newest residents are moving into the “swing part of the swing state,” creating a political presence and unique voice that cannot be ignored.

5. Saying goodbye to tinker Field After protests over what

rise complex. After some rallies, protests, petitions and (most importantly) some creative financial maneuvering by city officials, Orlando agreed to purchase the park by offering another parcel of property, plus a few million in cash, as a trade.

would happen to the place where the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. made his only speech in Orlando, city officials voted to tear down the stadium and grandstands of the historic baseball field in the Parramore neighborhood. Once the site of racial progress in 1964, the field now stood in the way of the Citrus Bowl’s progress. City Council declared the site a historic place and voted to preserve the field, but not what stood on it, and in April it was demolished. City officials are currently trying to memorialize the ballpark, but facing some pushback from people still questioning why it had to go.

8. the nightmare that is interstate 4 becomes more hellish with the start of the i-4 ultimate Project Construction on what will probably be one of the most rage-inducing expansions in Central Florida began in July with the I-4 Ultimate Project. For the next six years, the $2.3 billion project will work through 21 miles of I-4 to widen the highway, install four new toll lanes for express travel, reconstruct 15 interchanges and rebuild more than 75 bridges. Transportation officials say it will be worth it in the end, but that doesn’t mean we won’t get there with new anger management issues on the commuters’ end of this stick.

6. Getting to Havana and dubai from orlando became a thing In hopes of bringing more business partnerships and tourists from the Middle East and Asia, local officials partnered with Emirates to bridge a connection between Orlando and Dubai. After President Obama relaxed travel restrictions to Cuba last year, the Orlando International Airport made another, perhaps more emotionally significant connection when it opened up one flight to Havana. The flight links Central Florida to the island 90 miles south of Key West for the first time in years and puts the airport on par with airports in Tampa and Miami that already offered those flights.

9. the orange-osceola judicial circuit leads the state in child arrests Central Florida beat Miami and Tampa in a subject not related to tourism this year, but it’s not something to be proud of. From 2013 through 2014, officials arrested 8,162 juveniles in the Orange-Osceola judicial circuit, beating out the more populated circuits that included Miami-Dade County and Broward County. We’ve had the highest number of juveniles arrested in the state since 2009, despite being the third most populous circuit. The numbers also point out a racial disparity: Black children represent 55 percent of arrests in Orange County despite being 25 percent of the youth population, while in Osceola, they account for 23 percent of arrests, but were only 12 percent of the youth population.

7. Constitution Green Park is saved We’re suckers for a pretty little green space, not to mention monumental old oak trees, so we were relieved when we learned that Orlando had struck a deal with the owners of the patch of land downtown known as Constitution Green Park to save it from development. Earlier this year, the owners of the land – which the city has leased as a park for decades – were considering letting a developer turn it into a high-

10. elvis the cobra sends everyone into a panic It’s not every day that a king cobra dominates the news cycle in Orlando, but for weeks, Elvis seemed to be all anyone could talk about. The snake, an 8-foot-long king cobra that belonged to a man named Mike Kennedy, had somehow escaped his enclosure in Kennedy’s home, which also happens to be a sanctuary of sorts for exotic wildlife. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission set traps, but Elvis avoided them; crews of wildlife experts went out into the woods around Kennedy’s home, but Elvis evaded them. Finally, after months on the loose, Elvis finally turned up – underneath a clothes dryer in an Ocoee home.

3. a growth year for orlando City Soccer This year belonged to the Orlando City Soccer Club. It was the first year the team played as part of the MLS, and to make sure they weren’t playing to a bunch of empty bleachers, they launched a Fill the Bowl campaign to sell as many seats as possible in the 60,000-seat Citrus Bowl.

Not only was the stadium not empty for the inaugural game – they sold the damn thing out. Orlando City also announced this year that it didn’t need government support to construct the soccer-specific

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NEWS & FEATURES

2015: YEAR IN REVIEW

The year in state news At the state level, 2015 was all about bear hunting and witch hunting

By E r i n S u l l i va n a nd M o ni vEt t E Co rd Ei ro

1. Bear hunt, plus dEP considers opening hunting in all state parks If the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission – a commission appointed by the governor and made up entirely of developers and businesspeople – had any credibility left, it destroyed it in 2015. Earlier this year, the commission declared that it would open a bear-hunting season to control the population of bears in the state, despite massive public outcry (and a lawsuit) that the state hadn’t even finished its official bear head count.

They set a limit of 320 bears that could be killed during the hunt, but issued permits to more than 3,000 people – more bears than the commission even thought lived in the state. The state Department of Environmental Protection has since doubled down on the FWC’s hunt-happy decision-making by suggesting that, to help state parks generate revenue, it might open them up to hunting. If things go according to the DEP’s plan, people may soon be able to hunt deer, turkeys, rabbits, quail, wild boar and, of course, bears in Florida state parks.

2. Florida legislature embarrasses state with redistricting debacle It wasn’t enough for Florida’s legislators to get caught gerrymandering congressional districts to favor Republicans and incumbents. No, our House and Senate representatives fought each other tooth and nail this year when they were forced to draw the districts again in special sessions that were paid for by taxpayers.

Ultimately, they couldn’t agree on anything, and it was left up to the Florida Supreme Court, which approved a map created by the plaintiffs who brought this issue to light when they sued in 2012. The map could face challenges from representatives who don’t agree, including our own 12

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U.S. Rep. Corrine Brown, whose district is a gerrymandered snake that travels from Orlando to Jacksonville.

3. Same-sex marriage legally recognized in Florida Finally – after a long and depressing series of legal challenges brought by state Attorney General Pam Bondi to keep LGBT Floridians from being allowed to marry whomever they choose, a U.S. District Court ruled that Florida’s ban on gay marriage was unconstitutional. Despite the state’s last-ditch attempt to get the Supreme Court to weigh in on the topic, on Jan. 1, U.S. District Court Judge Robert Hinkle declared that all counties in Florida must issue marriage licenses to gay couples beginning on Jan. 5. And just like that, we had marriage equality. (And a swarm of eager couples outside City Hall.)

4. Florida jumps on Planned Parenthood witch hunt bandwagon Gov. Rick Scott never saw a conservative bandwagon he didn’t want to jump on, so when a series of doctored videos alleged that Planned Parenthood was illegally selling fetal tissue, he went right along with the witch hunt. His administration did some undercover investigations of its own – despite valiant attempts to vilify the clinics, those investigations turned up a whole lot of nothing. But that didn’t stop the governor from making sure his office manipulated the investigative reports and press releases to strike lines indicating that, despite allegations made in the videos, investigators found no evidence that the clinics mishandled fetal tissue. This debacle, by the way, comes along in the same year that the state implemented a mandatory 24-hour waiting period for women seeking abortion.

NEWS & FEATURES

5. Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush and u.S. Sen. Marco rubio campaign to become president behind sometimes Florida resident donald trump The 2016 presidential race from the Republican side has been less than civil; the rhetoric has been toxic, in fact, and it’s mostly spewing from part-time Palm Beach resident Trump. Bush, who once mentored Rubio and gave him a sword when he became Florida House Speaker, turned cold toward his protégé. Now rivals, both are behind Trump and other candidates in the polls as they all try to secure the Republican nomination.

it was OK for Scott to do that because the lawsuits arose from the governor’s public duties. Scott’s administration paid $120,000 of the settlement from an account for office expenses and operations, but failed to let the Legislature know before they approved the account.

So much for public accountability and working in the sunshine.

9. Florida solar amendments fight to be on ballot Despite the fact that Florida’s known

Solar, which launched its own petition that does basically nothing, is the bad guy here. The group is little more than a front group funded by the state’s largest utility companies. Nice try, guys.

as the Sunshine State, we have a pretty dismal solar-energy presence. The Southern Alliance for Clean Energy wants that to change, and the organization gathered signatures to get a measure before voters to expand solar in the state.

Shortly after the alliance launched its effort – called Floridians for Solar Choice – another group called Consumers for Smart Solar sprung up seemingly from out of nowhere, attacking the Solar Choice petition and insisting it was bad news. It turns out Consumers for Smart

10. Gov. rick Scott wants Congress to ban Syrian refugees from Florida Of course he does. See reference above to Scott never seeing a conservative bandwagon he didn’t want to jump on. feedback@orlandoweekly.com

6. Florida legislature takes stance against warming Cuban relations Florida is the closest state to Cuba, just 90 miles away, and its representatives are probably the most obtuse when it comes to President Obama’s decision to normalize diplomatic relations with the island nation. Both the House and Senate opposed normalization, as did presidential candidates Bush and Rubio. Cuban immigration into the U.S. spiked after Obama announced he was renewing ties with the country, and Rubio has publicly said he’s open to adjusting the “wet foot, dry foot” policy that allows Cubans who reach land to obtain permanent residency after one year. Miami’s Cuban exile population still has hardliners opposed to thawing relations, but a younger demographic and economic interest in the island could be changing public opinion.

7. Florida approves five nurseries to grow medical marijuana A year after Gov. Rick Scott signed a bill legalizing Charlotte’s Web, a noneuphoric strain of marijuana that treats conditions like epilepsy and cancer, the state Department of Health finally got past some of the litigation that bogged down the drug and allowed five nurseries to grow the strain. Patients eagerly awaiting some relief will have to obtain permission from a qualified doctor and be added to the Compassionate Use Registry.

Knox Nursery, based in Winter Garden, will be providing medical marijuana to the Central Florida region.

8. Gov. rick Scott defends using taxpayer money for legal bills After allegedly violating Florida’s public records law by creating private emails to communicate with his staff and withholding documents, Scott settled a lawsuit regarding the violation and billed Floridians $700,000 for his legal expenses.

A spokeswoman for his office said that orlandoweekly.com

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arTS & CUlTUre

2015: YEAR IN REVIEW

Digging for fire So long, Sisyphus; Orlando’s new patron deity is spark-seeker Prometheus

By RichaRd R eep a n d J essi c a BRyc e yo u n g

o

nly time will tell, but 2015 could be the year Orlando finally fired Sisyphus as its role model. Since forever, it seems, Orlando’s art scene seems to get some mojo and make some noise, only for it to dissipate and vanish, the boulder rolling back downhill. Then we start rolling it uphill again. There was a perceptible shift in this fate, however, that seemed to occur in 2015.

JanuaRy

FeBRuaRy

The newly opened Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts launched “curiosity tours” so the worthy citizens of Orlando could feast their eyes on all the velvet, gilt, Barrisol and hand-rubbed Venetian plaster their tax dollars helped pay for.

MaRch

With Maya Lin: A History of Water at the Orlando Museum of Art, the city’s shakedown moved into high gear. In the contemporary art scene, they don’t get much bigger than Lin, and this gathering of sculptures, installations and multimedia works notched solid attendance, inspired more than one artist, and raised our level of conversation regarding the natural world, particularly water – a topic of significant interest in Florida.

apRiL

Rollins’ Cornell Fine Arts Museum closed the doors April 5 on its powerful Kara Walker exhibition, Harper’s Pictorial History of the Civil War (Annotated). With spine-chilling power and furious intent, Walker’s interventions demolished the stillcherished-in-some-quarters fairy tales of the “War Between the States.”

June

We’ve kvelled plenty about the OMA’s Florida Prize in Contemporary Art, which opened June 11 this year. Let’s also remember the Agencies Spring Art Show, the second exhibition from the collective, which addressed the experiences of women (cis and trans) in the South.

JuLy

We traveled up to Mount Dora Center for the Arts to witness the visionary Raw and Ardor, a show by the Coalition Ingénu Self Taught Artists Collective, and we may never see the world in quite the same way.

augusT

Time Waste Management christened their A Place Gallery with an installation

by Vanessa Andrade and Antonio Gonzalez (“Ready to Ship A/W ’15”) and a Hex Haus pop-up shop. The one-night-only party was the beginning of something new, but also the culmination of years of scene presence. Subsequent shows and performances (Anna Cruz and Adam Lavigne’s Do Aliens Perceive Kerning?, a shibari pop-up last week) have delivered on the early promise.

sepTeMBeR

“Orlando has finally connected the dots and become a big city,” chuckled Patrick Kahn in our preview of his Snap! Orlando annual photography festival, which in 2015 burst its boundaries and spread out across

Worldwide art happening Art in Odd Places came to Orlando for a long weekend, reinvigorating the sidewalk and challenging the status quo. Speaking of challenging, Lydia Lunch brought to Orlando her traveling exhibition of photos and ephemera, two spoken-word performances, and a bigger dose of attitude than we’re likely to see for another decade. Orlando Weekly capped the month with our second annual Artlando, a giant celebration of the performing and visual arts.

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noVeMBeR

the seemingly impossible: brought a double handful of Orlando Philharmonic season subscribers to Will’s Pub on a Friday night to rub shoulders with the crowd of grotty regulars, and got all of them – O.Phillers and Will’s regulars alike – to shake their asses to modern classical music. A good time was most definitely had by all (except possibly the bartenders).

deceMBeR

Now that Sisyphus and his boring boulder have been pensioned off, Orlando needs a new patron deity of the arts. Prometheus, who gave mankind fire, would be a good start. The best and the brightest visual artists used to drift away from here, but now they’re staying; in many ways 2015 lit a fire under them to go for it, and the coming years may see the blaze of creativity spread.

ocToBeR

Cole NeSmith’s Creative City Project continued the challenge, lighting up downtown’s streets with more performance and street art than one could take in in just one night – but that’s all you get until next year.

We reviewed CFAM’s Jess Dugan exhibition, Every Breath We Drew. Dugan’s intimate photographs put transgender life into poetic perspective, drawing comparisons to Nan Goldin’s seminal Ballad of Sexual Dependency series. (Imprecise comparisons, we say; Dugan’s technique is miles ahead of Goldin’s at that point.)

Accidental Music Festival accomplished

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“No oNe remembers how to thiNk these thoughts” by justiN Duerr, from CoalitioN iNgeNu’s “raw aND arDor”

A cold Jan. 8 ceremony started 2015 off right, celebrating the overdue federal recognition of the Maitland Art Center: Founder André Smith’s art colony is now a National Historic Landmark. Curator Rebecca Sexton-Larson scored points with contrasting shows in the galleries, where works by Smith held their own against works by Salvador Dalí.

Orlando and through Central Florida with fashion, beauty and flash. Memorial Day weekend saw a different side of the city at the local iteration of John Sims’ 13 Flag Funerals, a multi-state burial and memorial service for the Confederate Flag.

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ARTS & CULTURE

2015: YEAR IN REVIEW

A Gift To Our Readers Who are OUC Customers

Top 10 books of 2015

The ORLANDO WEEKLY, in conjunction with PROFESSIONAL ELECTRICAL SERVICES, are offering 50 lucky readers*; a 10,000 watt Photovoltaic Solar system, with absolutely NO UPFRONT COST. ZERO, ZIP, NADA, THIS IS NOT A MISPRINT! If you are reading this and you are an OUC electricity user, we want to say thank you. We’d like to say thank you by installing a system that will save you money every month for at least the next 25 years. EVERY FACET OF WHAT WE INSTALL IS WARANTEED TO PERFORM FOR A MINIMUM OF 25 YRS.

Banner year for readers and writers; bad year for bedside tables

BY RYAN RIVAS

T

his has been a banner year for literature. In 2015, Adam Johnson’s story collection, Fortune Smiles, took home the National Book Award for Fiction; Marlon James’ 700-plus-page patois epic, A Brief History of Seven Killings, took home the Booker; and I took home both books, where they currently stare out from the bedside deathtrap that is my toread stack. I don’t recall a year where I’ve been so excited to read so many new books, and ended up reading so few of them. But literature is a beautifully slow media, meant to last for centuries when done well. So I’m not too worried about when I’ll get to those new releases, just thankful for another year filled with books, at least 10 of which were both excellent and brand-new.

1

The Sympathizer, a novel by Viet Thanh Nguyen (Grove Press, 384 pages)

“Awaiting us was another refugee camp, its higher grade of amenities evidence that we were already profiting from the upward mobility of the American Dream.” This is the wry, driving voice of our hero, a Vietcong spy embedded in the high ranks of the South Vietnamese army as they flee Saigon for the United States. The nameless narrator’s keen ability to see both sides of any issue makes him the best kind of spy, but for years he must keep his true thoughts to himself, which has left him a bitter shell of a person. The book, told in the form of a confession, is the cathartic, sprawling, darkly funny and honest story of a life caught between political extremes.

2

Delicious Foods, a novel by James Hannaham (Little, Brown & Co., 384 pages)

The devastating story of a woman who loses her husband to racist violence, and of her son, who loses his mother to crack addiction. Both mother and son end up on a nightmarish farm that recruits drug addicts into indentured servitude.

Each chapter shifts perspective – following its players’ inner thoughts and motivations in rich and sympathetic details – between the mother, the son and crack cocaine. That’s right: One of the narrators of the book is crack.

3

Erratic Fire, Erratic Passion: The Poetry of Sportstalk, edited by Jeff Parker and Pasha Malla (Featherproof Books, 120 pages) The perfect book for that sliver on the Venn diagram where poetry lovers and sports fans overlap, this anthology spins the post-game interviews of countless athletes into striking works of “found poetry” that highlight famous and obscure moments and personalities in

sports history. Re-examine the beauty of Anna Kournikova, or Zinedine Zidane’s World Cup headbutt, or – my personal favorite – an account of the Malice in the Palace and the player formerly known as Ron Artest.

4

Between the World and Me, memoir by Ta-Nehisi Coates (Spiegel & Grau, 163 pages)

From growing up in Baltimore, where religion and school offered no more solace than the streets, to finding his intellectual footing at Howard University, Coates weaves an unflinching examination of our country’s racist tradition with the story of his coming-of-age and lifelong intellectual journey. The book itself is part of that journey, simultaneously tackling the philosophical (the construction of whiteness) and the personal (the psychic weight experienced daily by black men in America).

5

Voices in the Night, stories

by Steven Millhauser (Knopf, 304 pages) Millhauser has quickly become one of my favorite short-story writers of all time. Known for playing with form, from fake histories to fractured fables, Millhauser displays his full range of talent in this collection. Each story is a haunting and masterful feat of word-magic that readers will love and writers will attempt to dissect with great pleasure and frustration.

6

Fates and Furies, a novel by Lauren Groff (Riverhead Books, 391 pages)

Groff’s prose is so incredibly lush that it almost doesn’t matter what she writes about. This particular beauty follows the marriage of Lotto, a golden boy from Florida water-bottling-wealth, and his muse Mathilde, whose mysterious past is not revealed until the second half of the book, when, one by one, everything we thought we knew about the last 200 pages changes. The book’s structure is best described in an unobnoxiously meta way by author herself: “She was so tired of the old way of telling stories, all those too-worn narrative paths, the familiar plot thickets, the fat social novels. She needed something messier, something sharper, something like a bomb going off.”

7

Get in Trouble, stories by Kelly Link (Random House, 353 pages)

I first read Link’s work in the “new fabulist” issue of Conjunctions, and, despite my distaste for labels, “fabulist” always seemed the appropriate one. But really, Link masterfully exploits the best tropes from every genre, defying categorization to create surprising and imaginative worlds all her own. From the slow and moody “I Can See Right Through You” (a ghost story set in Apopka) to the breakneck formal experimentation of “Valley of the Girls” (which feels like riding a roller coaster) reading this collection is an exhilarating

experience. At the heart of every story, though, is a real concern for characters, and that’s what makes these stories so powerful.

If you can answer yes to these 3 questions, hurry up and call 407-499-1600 to secure your spot.

8

The Small Backs of Children, a novel by Lidia Yuknavitch (HarperCollins, 240 pages)

* In order to qualify you must meet the following criteria.

1. Must be an owner of a single family home. No Condos, Townhouses, Trailers or Apts.

2. Must use OUC for electricity.

3. Must pay annual Federal Income Tax. * All contingent upon approved credit.

The plot propels a war orphan from Eastern Europe into the national spotlight after she’s captured on film by an American photographer.

But the plot is beside the point, more of a conveyance for an idea, or perhaps a new myth, about the power of art, and its origins in violence.

As the plot spins forward, the narrator constantly questions the nature of art and its motives.

By balancing visceral scenes with meditative moments, Yuknavitch creates a remarkably layered novel that seems to expand and contract as you read it.

9

Make Your Home Among Strangers, a novel by Jennine Capó Crucet (St. Martin’s Press, 401 pages) I always root for team Miami, and this book, by my favorite “reformed Chonga,” is a sort of thematic follow-up to her debut collection, How to Leave Hialeah. Crucet captures the drama and hilarity of being raised in two worlds, the child of immigrants, the first to go to college – the culture shock of leaving the simmering blocks of the 305 for the buttoned-up cold of the ivory tower. As far as authenticity goes, like, this novel earns the “Made in Dade” stamp, bro.

Although this gift is for OUC customers only, please keep reading and in the very near future we are going to do something similar for our Duke Energy readers.

10

New American Stories, edited

by Ben Marcus (Vintage Contemporaries, 784 pages)

If you love short stories, or are a newbie looking to further your knowledge of what contemporary American short fiction has to offer, this is a fantastic starting point. In his intro, our fearless curator, Ben Marcus, compares the construction of this anthology to mixtape-making. The real kind, with tapes. We are in good hands.

arts@orlandoweekly.com Go to the Arts section at orlandoweekly.com for still more about books, including A+C editor Jessica Bryce Young’s Top 12 Books of 2015.

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2015: YEAR IN REVIEW CABARET AT THE ABBEY

Disenchanted carries the banner for Orlando Fringe

Speaking of off-Broadway, Dennis Giacino and Fiely Matias took their princess parody Disenchanted all the way to New York, making for one of the best Cinderella stories in Orlando Fringe history. I was lucky enough to see the Westside Theater production last spring, shortly before its untimely end; the show folded despite welldeserved award nominations, but is still finding an audience through foreign language translations and licensing. As Orlando Fringe enters its 25th year, Disenchanted continues to symbolize how far success at the Fest can take you.

Art on every corner

BY SETH KUBERSKY

Eight nights of joy: Live Active Cultures picks eight greats from 2015 ’Tis the season to eat latkes, spin the dreidel and reminisce about highlights from the last year. As I type these words, Jews around the world are lighting candles for the eighth and final night of Hanukkah, so I’m using this week’s column to look back at eight of my favorite moments from covering Orlando’s arts and pop culture in 2015.

Artegon rising

PHOTO BY PATTY WOLFE

Artegon, which replaced Festival Bay’s zombie mall with a marketplace of local artisans, had a rocky few months after opening late last year. But the owners doubled down by reinvesting in upgraded aesthetics and improving the tenant mix with new shops like Gods & Monsters and International Hot Glass. Crafty consumers are starting to take notice; while not yet as busy as the big-box malls, Artegon is no longer a ghost town either. I recently took family from New York and Miami shopping there, and for once they were jealous of us Orlandoans.

Star Wars strikes back

Even if The Force Awakens turns out to be a Jar Jar Binks–level failure, I’ll be forever grateful for the sense of wonder the new film’s rollout has reawakened in me. From binge-watching the first six Star Wars films on the high seas during my September transatlantic cruise to get-

ting to meet Chewbacca and Darth Vader in Hollywood Studios’ new Launch Bay, Disney has restored my fervor for the franchise. And despite some reservations about the design concept, I’ll be first in line to visit their new Star Wars Land in a few years.

Raptors rule

As good as Mickey’s meet-and-greets are, Universal one-upped them this year with the new Raptor Encounter in Islands of Adventure, which arrived around Jurassic World’s record-smashing debut. The startlingly realistic dinosaur puppets – designed by The Lion King’s Michael Curry and animated by enthusiastic actors – often send small children screaming away in terror, making this a far more entertaining attraction than any princess photo op.

Great shows from Gen Y

Last weekend I bumped into producer Aaron Safer in Manhattan at the Hamilton ticket lottery. We both lost, but I was reminded of how strong the Orlando shows he mounted with director Kenny Howard in 2015 were. Cabaret (starring Blue Star) outshone some Broadway productions I’ve seen, and The Flick was the best thing I’ve seen so far inside the Dr. Phillips Center. Even lesser fare like the Heathers and Bat Boy musicals were as polished as any off-Broadway production, with Kyla Swanberg’s designs making her Orlando’s top young costumer.

While we’re on the subject, Fringe may be the biggest performing arts event in Orlando, but it’s no longer the only can’t-miss outing on our cultural schedule. Arts festivals exploded in 2015, with Orlando Weekly’s Artlando, Cole NeSmith’s Creative City Project and Orlando’s inaugural edition of Art in Odd Places leading the charge.

Speaking of art in odd places, St. Matthew’s Tavern takes the title of my new favorite unconventional entertainment venue; the worship hall-slash-watering hole proved the perfect environment for the revived, reinvigorated Joe’s NYC Bar.

Jeremy Seghers returns

Director-producer Jeremy Seghers recently returned to Central Florida from NYC to stage some of the season’s most exciting events. His environmental interpretation of A Clockwork Orange brought Burgess’ book to life with visceral velocity, and he assembled an all-star cast for A Public Reading of an Unproduced Screenplay About the Death of Walt Disney, elevating Lucas Hnath’s overwrought and deeply dishonest script into an emotionally affecting elegy. Finally, Seghers’ Krampus party at the Hammered Lamb led the burgeoning anti-Santa bandwagon with a sackful of satiric style.

The Amazing Acro-Cats FTW!

I’ve attended a number of excellent events at the Venue this year, from burlesque to magic shows to Beat poetry, but nothing came close to the sheer awesomeness of the Amazing Acro-Cats. This talented troupe of performing pussies, wrangled by trainer Samantha Martin, put a smile on my felineloving face like nothing else in 2015. Cats on tightropes; cats on rolling barrels; cats on keyboards! And did I mention Cluck Norris, the cymbal-crashing chicken? Best. Show.

Ever. ’Nuff said! skubersky@orlandoweekly.com orlandoweekly.com

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tip jar

2015: YEAR IN REVIEW UrBaiN 40

by Faiyaz Kara

The Thirsty Topher has finally opened in their new location on Virginia Drive. One note: They are instituting a cash-only policy, though there is an ATM housed inside the bar. Customers using the ATM will be refunded the service fee.

Thanks to a $25,000 Minority/Women Entrepreneur Business Assistance grant from the city, Nikki’s Place, which was destroyed by a fire back in March, will reopen in Parramore early in the new year. The grant will be used for capital improvements and equipment.

Look for Bosphorous Turkish Cuisine and the second Central Florida location of Bavaro’s Pizza Napoletana to open in Lake Nona’s Medical City sometime next year in the late fall or winter. The Lake Nona Bavaro will also have a Stefano Ferrara oven.

Top tables 2015 Our fave five restaurants that opened this year … plus two more

By Faiyaz Kara

PHOTOS BY ROB BARTLETT

I

t was inevitable. After three years of witnessing the surge, maturation and duly deserved recognition of this city’s dining scene, it plateaued. Chefs and restaurateurs, it seemed, took 2015 to catch their breath from the long climb upward and we, the dining public, took the time to stop and smell the wafts, and savor the bites, from our newly minted restos.

Of the ones that made an impression on us this year, most did so by appealing to our eyes first, then our stomachs. No doubt 2015 was a banner year as far as design and aesthetics were concerned. On menus, pork belly – yet again – ubiquitously ensconced itself (though that trend might be waning), and ramen and poutine came out of the fringes and into the mainstream. This year was also a boon for brunchsters.

But I can’t help but look forward to next year, when Dovecote (James and Julie Petrakis, Clay Miller), Frontera Fresco (Rick Bayless), Black Rooster Taquería (John Calloway), Homecoming: Florida Kitchen and Southern Shine (Art Smith) and 1921 (Norman Van Aken) take our dining experiences to new heights.

And who knows what else 2016 will bring. No-tipping policies? More vegetable-forward entrees? A James Beard

Foundation Award winner, perhaps?

I think back to five years ago and compare it to what Orlando has to offer today and it’s nothing short of remarkable. Even if 2015 wasn’t a year like the previous three, we can survey our food landscape with pride. Here, then, are the top tables of 2015: 1. osprey Tavern 4899 New Broad St., 407-960-7700, ospreytavern.com; $$$

Baldwin Park has Jason Chin to thank for single-handedly injecting new life into the neighborhood’s gastronomic heart. Chin’s Seito Sushi has evolved into one of the best Japanese restos in town and, now, with Osprey Tavern, gastronomes are looking at Baldwin Park with voracious eyes. Osprey’s interior – think Charleston’s Husk meets high-class turn-of-the-century bordello – is worth a visit alone, but executive chef (and former Ravenous Pig chef de cuisine) Joe Cournoyer-Burnett’s sensuous plates, be they luscious lamb ribs or basil-rubbed Florida black grouper served over butter sauce, ensure many return visits. Pastry chef Kristy Carlucci honed her chops at Cask & Larder, but the freedom proffered to her at Osprey Tavern has allowed her to

spread her wings. I, for one, look forward to seeing Osprey Tavern soar to new heights in 2016.

2. Urban Tide 9801 International Drive, 407-345-4570, orlando.regency.hyatt.com; $$$$

We liked the restaurant as Napa when the Peabody Hotel Group ran it, and we like it now that it’s called Urban Tide and the Hyatt Regency runs it. The best thing the Hyatt brass did was leave the restaurant alone – their “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach was a relief to Central Florida denizens and visitors alike. And while the decor may pose an aesthetic disconnect with the new branding, chef Jared Gross and his capable staff haven’t missed a beat with their seafood-centric menu. Grouper cheeks with delicately bitter shishito peppers over sweet creamed Zellwood corn are a standout, and a blackened, skin-on Florida yellowtail snapper served over kale with charred lemon is simply immaculate.

Dropping $8 on a spice-roasted pineapple rum cake with coconut sorbet and lime crisp? Like the schlep to I-Drive, it’s totally worth it.

OPENiNGS Upscale Mexican cuisine has come to Winter Springs: Saint anejo Mexican Kitchen & Tequileria has opened on Red Bug Lake Road near Tuskawilla …

Cake Boss Buddy Valastro has opened Carlo’s Bakery at the Florida Mall … Duo 58 Community Coffee Bar & Cafe, a nonprofit outfit in Oviedo, has opened on Mitchell Hammock Road. Every purchase helps feed and educate children in Haiti … Nova restaurant is now projected to open in Ivanhoe Village sometime this month … Also in the Ivanhood, the Better Than Sex sign is up over the old Wolfie’s space.

CLOSiNGS All eight Central Florida locations of Bojangles’ Famous Chicken & Biscuits have closed … Vibonati restaurant & Pizzeria on Turkey Lake Road has closed.

NEWS/EVENTS If Stephen Wancha, director of food and beverage at the Four Seasons, has his way, the James Beard Foundation’s Celebrity Chef Tour will make an annual stop in Orlando … Hit K restaurant this Friday, Dec. 18, for their monthly wine tasting with hors d’oeuvres and entertainment, Friday Night Flights … Want a limited edition opening-day Morimoto asia menu signed by Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto himself? All you need to do is purchase a $100 gift card to the restaurant … The Meatball Shoppe is now going by the Meatball Stoppe.

Got restaurant dish? Send tips to dining@orlandoweekly.com

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3. Bavaro’s Pizza napoletana & Pastaria 1468 Tuskawilla Road, Winter Springs, 321-422-3600, bavarospizza.com; $$$

Walk into this out-of-the-way Winter Springs pizzeria and you’ll immediately be struck by the showpiece of the handsome dining room – the hand-built Stefano Ferrara domed brick oven. This Ferrari of pizza ovens goes from zero to pizza in 90 seconds, thanks to a chamber that fires up in excess of 900 degrees Fahrenheit.

You won’t find a better pizza anywhere in Central Florida, so go to Winter Springs and do as the Neapolitans do – eat to your heart’s content. Yes, pastas like tagliatelle with Bolognese sauce and ravioli Emiliani stuffed with prosciutto, mortadella and pork sirloin are as superb as the service (and the cannoli), but the pizza! It’s perfecto.

1600 W. Buena Vista Drive, 407-939-6686, morimotoasia.com; $$$$

The enormity of the 36-foot-tall, twostory space and its jaw-dropping design elements make you forget Morimoto Asia is situated inside Disney Springs. From rain-shower crystal chandeliers to a grand stairway to sushi heaven, the restaurant stuns, dazzles, astounds. Chef Masaharu Morimoto’s menu doesn’t present much that’s particularly novel, but playing it safe doesn’t mean the pan-Asian creations aren’t creative. Dishes like duck ramen, sweetand-sour crispy branzino, and rock shrimp with spicy gochujang aioli are exquisite.

The Peking duck is a perennial favorite, and finding a potent potable to pair it with isn’t difficult at all: Morimoto Asia has some of the best sake in the city. Allez cuisine!

5. Urbain 40 8000 Via Dellagio Way, 407-872-2640, urbain40.com; $$$

Like a stunning beauty who holds your gaze no matter what comes out of her mouth, Urbain 40 is easy on the eyes, but you have to put up with a lot. Owner Jaafar Choufani spared no expense in decking out the restaurant with a little help from his father, noted restaurateur Rashid Choufani.

It’s arguably the most beautiful restaurant space in the city – a French Colonial brasserie with a swing-era vibe drawing from Choufani’s Moroccan roots. Service deficiencies, kitchen miscues and inventory discrepancies aren’t characteristic of restaurants that have appeared on this list, but I believe in the restaurant’s potential. The fact that the Choufanis recognize the faults 22

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Honorable mention: Shish.Co Mezze & Grill and Market on South OK, so these two aren’t exactly lookers when compared to the list above, but trying to resist the allure of their dishes is as futile as it is foolish. Seats at Maitland’s Shish.

Co Mezze & Grill (118 Lake Ave., Maitland, 407-661-1336, shishcomezzegrill.com; $) come in the form of a trio of picnic benches situated in the middle of a parking lot, but intrepid gastronomes know that navigating a crammed lot and dodging automobiles are small prices to pay for the opportunity to feast on remarkably pliant kebabs, be they kofte, doner or shish. Closer to downtown, vegans and lovers of creative plant-based meals have been flocking to Market on South (2603 E. South St., 407-613-5968, marketonsouth.com; $) where the collective of Dixie Dharma, Valhalla Bakery and Humble Bumble Kombucha more than impress. Just go easy on such stomachstuffers as jackfruit tacos, Georgia peach sloppy joes and “Hail Kale” salad, as you’ll want to leave room for their wicked selection of pies, cakes and – sweet mother of Mike Myers! – Nanaimo bars. fkara@orlandoweekly.com

OSPrEy TaVErN

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

4. Morimoto asia

and defects, and are eager to correct them, warrants their inclusion here. Urbain 40 is just too damned gorgeous to fail.

Food & drInk

SERVING THE AUTHENTIC

GYROSANDWICH WE ALSO HAVE A WIDE VARIETY OF VEGETARIAN SELECTIONS AND AUTHENTIC MEDITERRANEAN BEER AND WINE

CATERING AVAILABLE // FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK! 435 E. MICHIGAN STREET 407.422.BLUE (2583)

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recently reviewed EDITED BY JESSICA BRYCE YOUNG

$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$

$10 or less $10-$15 $15-$25 $25 or more

The price range generally reflects the average cost of one dinner entree. Bakeries, ice cream shops, etc. reflect relative cost for one person.

Search hundreds more reviews at orlandoweekly.com

North Quarter Tavern This sister restaurant to Citrus brings a relaxed attitude, good service and a food-focused ethic to downtown’s North Quarter district. Chef Matt Wall is all about ticker-testing comfort fare – sampling his poutine with duck gravy or crackling fried chicken may conjure images of Barney Clark. An in-house charcuterie program has yielded some promising results. More dessert options are needed, though.

Brunch is offered Sundays. 861 N. Orange Ave., 407-757-0930; $$

Seito Sushi Baldwin Park sushi joint appears refreshed and revitalized, and their dishes ever more Japanese. A weekend-only izakaya menu is worth a look. Ramen (try the shoyu) really impresses, as does the moriawase (chef’s selection) of sashimi. A roll fashioned from lobster, American wagyu and truffle aioli will cater to the bon vivant in you. A requisite selection of craft cocktails and a decent selection of sake, wine and beer keep guests slaked. 4898 New Broad St., 407-898-8801; $$$

Slate It’s a “see and be seen” kind of place, but chef Dominic Rice serves up seasonal dishes that, for the most part, are competently executed. Oak-fired pizzas are worth a look, as is the gnocchi with short rib Bolognese. A heavy-handed spice rub marred delicate tilefish, but succulent flatiron steak served with crisp green beans, marble potatoes and smoked butter was nice, and sticky toffee pudding makes for a saucy ending. Decent wine and cocktail list. 8323 Sand Lake Road, 407-500-7528; $$$

The Boathouse Giant house of boating paraphernalia and seaside eats is the proverbial anchor in the restaurant makeover at Disney Springs.

Just as vast is the selection of seafood and steak items offered at inflated prices.

Lobster cocktail and middleneck clams from Cedar Key make a nice start, but consult Seafood Watch prior to ordering the catch of the day. Steaks are stellar; desserts are not. Disney Springs, 1620 E. Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista, 407-939-2628; $$$$ n

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FIlM

FILM LISTINGS The Assassin A wondrous take on the traditional wuxia film from legendary Taiwanese director Hou Hsiao-hsien.

Opens Friday; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $11; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

Camp Movie Night: The Star Wars Holiday Special Marc With a C hosts a screening of the worst holiday special ever made. Happy Life Day! Wednesday, 8 pm; The Geek Easy, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park; free; 407-332-9636.

FilmSlam ’15 A monthly indie film showcase and competition open to Florida filmmakers and students. Wednesday, 1 pm; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $5; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

Women on top Sisters shows us what it would be like if Hollywood wrote comedic characters for women the way it does for men

By M a rya n n J oha n s o n

Hitchcock/Truffaut An absolute must-see documentary for any fan of cinema. Opens Friday; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $11; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

Miracle on 34th Street A cherished holiday family tradition. Sunday, 2 & 7 pm; multiple locations; $12.50; fathomevents.com.

Movie Under the Stars: The Polar Express Free family movie. Friday, 7 pm; Avalon Park Sports Fields, 3680 Avalon Park Blvd.; free; 407-658-6565.

Original Trilogy Screening A screening of the original Star Wars trilogy (nonSpecial Edition!) with Star Wars-themed food catered by the Wandering Wonton.

Wednesday, 6 pm; Barley and Vine Biergarten, 2406 E. Washington St.; free; barleyandvineorlando.com.

Phoenix A spellbinding mystery of identity, illusion and deception unfolds against the turmoil of post-World War II Germany. Through Thursday; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $11; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale Finnish film about a boy who discovers that the real Santa CONT. ON PaGe 28

Sisters

HHHHH

I

would love it if movies reverted to the days of Bringing Up Baby and The Thin Man, with men and women actually believing that 40-something is cool, dressing for dinner and having cocktails at 6, and solving mysteries and secretly aiding the resistance and such. But if that’s not going to happen, and movies are going to be overpopulated by manchildren playing video games and ogling bikinis and wallowing in haphazard celebrations of adolescent testosterone, then it’s only fair that women get equal time and aren’t expected to be the responsible ones while men have their fun.

So hooray for Sisters. Because now Tina Fey gets to be the womanchild. She throws a for-real kicking-and-screaming tantrum, like a toddler, like an actual brand-new person who has not yet mastered bladder control, which is so absurd that you’re convinced it has to be going extra lengths to be a joke. Now Amy Poehler gets to be self-centered and selfish in a uniquely feminine way. (Minispoiler: not really.) It’s about going overboard in being the “good” girl and the “good” sister and the “good” daughter and how damn self-congratulatory – and also self-negating – that can be. And there’s a particular sort of relief in seeing this notion of “appropriate” womanliness being sent up. Like: Yes! Someone sees how ridiculous this is. Someone sees how bad for women this is. Someone sees how this is abdicating adulthood, not embracing it.

Already Sisters has got it all over any Adam Sandler movie, which never sees how problematic 40-something men behaving in stereotypically approved yet idiotically stupid ways really is.

Not that the plot really matters, but Kate (Fey) and Maura Ellis (Poehler) are the titular sibs who’ve

just discovered that their parents (Dianne Wiest and James Brolin) have sold their childhood home in Orlando. They decide that this is the one-lastchance for Maura, ever the Responsible One, to have the blowout party she never had in high school. So when the women are supposed to be clearing out their shared childhood bedroom (Mom and Dad have already moved into their hip new retirement community), they throw a huge party, to which they have invited most of their former high-school friends and a few new neighbors. They definitely do not invite their former high-school enemies, who of course show up anyway.

And thus Sisters ends up a mix of sweet nostalgia – Maura kissing the Family Ties-era poster of Michael J. Fox in their stuck-in-the-’80s bedroom is genuinely lovely – and just a little bit of gross-out that the movie could have done without, but it’s not too much, so it’s OK. Instead, as wonderful payback for women moviegoers who have been putting up with overgrown boys for far too long, there is some peculiarly womanish humor. When Maura worries about not wearing the right bra to get her flirt on – that is a real thing that women worry about – it is very wise and funny moment. There are men as eye candy and objects of desire: Pro wrestler John Cena, as a drug dealer Kate likes, follows up from his appearance in Trainwreck with another instance of sending up his almost cartoonishly pumpedup masculine image, and – as all wise dudes and women know – men who are comfortable making fun of themselves are extra sexy. And then there is James the charming and funny Florida neighbor, whom Maura likes. He is played by Ike Barinholtz, who’s like a lost Wahlberg cousin but is apparently not a relation at all. Maura shares a moment of vulnerability with him during the party scene that is so raw that it made me sob with its shrewdness. I get very worked up when women get to be screwed-up people onscreen. It’s so rare! feedback@orlandoweekly.com orlandoweekly.com

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OPENING IN orlando

really, really hates it when people are naughty. Saturday, 1 pm; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $9; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi Enjoy a flight of three different wines while gearing up for the release of Episode VII. Wednesday, 7:30 pm; The Swirlery, 1508 E. Michigan St.; $10; 407270-6300; swirlery.com.

Star Wars Strikes Back Party A screening of Star Wars: The Clone Wars.

Following the movie, test your Star Wars knowledge in a trivia game and create a Jedi craft. Friday, 2-4:30 pm; Edgewater Library, 5049 Edgewater Drive; free; 407-835-7323; ocls.info.

HitcHcock/truffaut By ste v e s c h n e i d e r

Opening tHis Week Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip Hey, somebody’s not going to be able to get into Star Wars, right? And just maybe that somebody is going to be a dad with one or more kids aged 10 or under – kids who won’t take turning around and going home for an answer. And just maybe that dad will opt instead for a movie that shows three cute critters trying to stop their human pal from getting engaged because they’re certain he has no room in his life for little ones and a wife. Hey, maybe that dad will even be a divorcee who’s trying to figure out how to sell his new girlfriend to his own offspring. Boy, wouldn’t that all be something? (PG) The Assassin While you wait for that just-announced Crouching Tiger sequel, get your wuxia fix from this Cannes-honored story of a lady assassin who has to choose between the demands of her profession and the man she intends to marry – who just happens to be the next name on her kill list. Now there’s a dilemma Lily Ledbetter never thought about. (NR) Hitchcock/Truffaut Found audio and interviews with modern-day experts help explain what happened when two legendary filmmakers met up in Hollywood to discuss the nature of their art. For one thing, anybody else who wanted to order crème brûlée from the Brown Derby that week could just forget it! (PG-13) Star Wars: The Force Awakens The first Star Wars movie I reviewed professionally was The Phantom Menace. I gave it five stars. So have a good time this weekend, and be sure to tell me what you thought. But remember, if BB-8 turns out to be the Jar-Jar of droids, I get to laugh at you this time. (PG-13) 28

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A Very Merry-thon Monday A holiday edition of Marathon Mondays, featuring The Nightmare Before Christmas, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Bad Santa and Die Hard. Monday, 5 pm; The Geek Easy, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park; free; 407-332-9636.

Winter Holiday Film Festival: Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas Madea dispenses her unique form of holiday spirit on a rural town when she’s coaxed into helping a friend pay her daughter a surprise visit to the country for Christmas. Wednesday, 11 am; Orlando Public Library, 101 E. Central Blvd.; free; 407-835-7481; ocls.info.

Winter in the Park: Frozen Do you have hope that singing kids won’t ruin this movie for you? Let it go. Friday, 7 pm and Sunday, 2 pm; Central Park, Winter Park, North Park Avenue and West Morse Boulevard, Winter Park; free; cityofwinterpark.org.

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2015: YEAR IN REVIEW

Like a record, baby A smattering of 2015 albums we deem essential listening

By Ashley BelAnger, JAson Ferguson & BAo le-huu

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ow’d you make out mucking through the streaming world to discover music worth spinning? We had a pretty good year, despite how increasingly difficult it is to keep track of a music landscape that’s more swamped than this state. Here is a bunch of music we’d recommend whole-heartedly. [Contributing writer Jason Ferguson adds this note: I’m only allowed seven entries for this year-end list, and I can’t possibly say what the seven best records of 2015 were (maybe 70 ... possibly 17, but definitely not seven). Anyway, I can come up with a list of seven 2015 records that – even though they weren’t reviewed in Pitchfork – are still definitely worth your time, because I loved them very much.]

Björk – Vulnicura One of the world’s most distinct voices, Björk bested herself on this special release that speaks louder than anything the emotionally decadent artist has put out – making listeners feel sane through shrewd stylistic excess and intriguing instrumentation. Have a cry because it’s beautiful to feel futile. – Ashley Belanger

Cheatahs - Mythologies My favorite contemporary shoegaze/noisepop band released an album that is far less beholden to their influences than one would expect, but still somehow would not have sounded out of place in the ’90s.

Guitar-centric melodies, whispermumble vocals and a dense layer of noise-fog over the whole thing.

Basically my musical erogenous zone. – JF

Death grips – Jenny Death While the provocateur role these art-rap guerrillas have played in the music landscape is pretty clear, their music hasn’t always been. But this, the more realized half of the double album The Powers That B, is probably the most cogent, absorbing warhead deployed on the popular consciousness this year. It’s a sonic bomb that embodies what they do best: total essence and maximum volume. – Bao Le-Huu

golden Pelicans – Oldest Ride, Longest Line You could choose to thrash around to absurd heart-stopping guitars or just sway recklessly on the knotted ropeswing that is singer Erik Grincewicz’s tonsils, but either way you won’t find a record that rocks harder than this without dusting off the most revered classic ragers. – AB

lightning Bolt – Fantasy Empire More momentous than the fact that it’s their first real album in six years is that this is their first album made in a hi-fi studio using real production technique.

As not punk as that all sounds, it actually yields a wrecking ball of a record that finally approximates the seis seismic experience of one of the most electrifying live bands in modern history. It’s a thrill ride that will melt your speakers. – BLH

Meatwound – Addio The head-pulping live roar of these Tampa savages has triggered some early but ardent buzz in the heavy underground, and this debut album is a majorleague brute. With metal fangs and hard hardcore knuckles, it mines some intriguingly intelintel ligent ground but hits with maximum, head-on brunt. It’s bloody, noisy hell from the most promising new heavy band out of Florida right now. – BLH shannon and the Clams – Gone by the Dawn Finally something fun hit my ears in this out outrageous offering from Oakland garage-punk standouts Shannon and the Clams, who seem to get badder and bolder each year thanks to the brainy vibes of sexpot singers Shannon Shaw and Cody Blanchard. “How Long” might as well be about the amount of time I spent with this on heavy repeat, giggling into my pillow. – AB

shilpa ray – Last Year’s Savage With the notable exception of Nick Cave (with whom she’s toured and sung), too few are heralding this intriguing artist. This beguiling album is gypsy cabaret with punk nerve, a harmonium-fueled tempest of passion, whim and rare melodic acuity. Very few can balance being fiery, funny and cutting quite like this. Besides, how can you overlook someone who makes a song named “Johnny Thunders Fantasy Space Camp”? – BLH

son little – self-titled Last year’s Things I Forgot EP was a bright harbinger, but, with his full-length debut, this collaborator to stars like the Roots and RJD2 arrives as a prime-time talent in his own right.

Although deeply rooted in the traditions of blues, soul and hip-hop, his sound is a modernization that’s a brilliant furtherance, not a derivation, of them. It’s authentic, contemporary and fully synthesized.

– BLH

Visigoth - The Revenant King Unapologetically backward-looking metal, from the fantastic, Frazetta-style Viking on the cover to a vocalist that sounds more like a coked-up Graham Bonnet, The Revenant King studiously (but not ironically!) evokes the mid’80s golden age of power metal with nary a nod toward modernity. – JF War on Women – self-titled

stove – Is Stupider s Once in an interview, Lou Barlow told me only J. Mascis could write a Dinosaur Jr. song. I still think that’s true, but damn if Stove doesn’t feel like the best kind of déjà vu while upholding Ovlov frontman Steve Hartlett’s signature. – AB

superheaven - Ours Is Chrome Dear fellow dad-rockers: If you can tear yourself away from your Hum and Failure reunions, you might want to turn your ears toward this excelexcel lent blend of grunge and space-rock that – I double-checked – came out this year. – JF

Turbo Fruits – No Control

The last couple of years have witnessed a noswonderful increase in riot grrrl nos talgia, as well as a not-so-wonderful increase in anti-woman bullshit, so the February debut LP from Boston’s (depressingly) perfectly monikered War on Women brought a potent blast of feminist hardcore right when it was needed. While their 2012 EP was fiery and brutal, this full-length polishes the rougher edges, but doubles up on the intensity, nearly matching the ferocity of the band’s shows. – JF

Warren Michael Defever – Sunship If you know me, you know I’m a fan of how Detroit-based Defever – best known as the leader of His Name Is Alive – is both willing and able to throw multiple types of musical esoterica into a wonderfully alchemical type of rock & roll. I like it even more when he focuses on one particuparticu lar element, which, in this case, is meditation music powered by thick, drone-y analog synthesizers. – JF One final word before I go over word count: ErykahBaduCourtneyBarnettBeachHouse BootsPearlCharlesChemicalBrothersChvrches DeafWishExBreathersFailureGrimes HiatusKaiyoteJuliaHolterIronand WineandBenBridwellJoanna GruesomeKoesBaratKendrick LamarMutoidManProtomartyr PurityRingSannhetTy SegallSpeedyOrtizTame ImpalaKamasiWashington WolfAliceChelseaWolfe. – JF

It may not be their most punk album, but it’s pumped with many of the most immediate and permanent songs Jonas Stein has ever penned. With a Strokes-like economy and incision, this sticky-sweet ’70s-licked album shows not just an affinity but a real genius for guitar pop.

And it’s proof of a longer, broader future beyond punk. – BLH

Find more recommended listening at orlandoweekly.com, with bonus picks including Waxahatchee, Joanna Newsom and Alan Watts’ This Is It reissue, plus extra love for War on Women.

uli Jon roth - Scorpions Revisited In which the legendary guitarist – who left the Scorpions in the mid-’70s because he didn’t like the commercial tack the band was taking – went into the studio last year and orlandoweekly.com

re-recorded two discs’ worth of new versions of this iconic material that neither replaces nor improves upon the originals (because the originals are perfect), but refracts them through a slightly modern lens in a way that’s somehow 99 percent less cynical than other, similar attempts by aging rockers. Roth’s guitar playing is still a natural phenomenon. – JF

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2015: YEAR IN REVIEW

Golden tickets The 20 best concerts we saw in Orlando in 2015

By Ashley BelAnger

T

his year trumped recent ones for killer concerts in town, featuring ridiculous showmanship to extremes (like “Weird Al,” Culture Club and the Rolling Stones), compelling local stories (My Hotel Year reuniting, You Blew It! rocking a Park Ave CDs in-store, Solillaquists back on stage with Sage Francis, Moon Jelly’s stunning return at the In-Between Series) and amazing critical darlings old and new that found their way here (Deafheaven, Failure, Metz, Meat Puppets). These concerts, in reverse date order, belong in cherished mental annals that don’t need Facebook’s asinine “On This Day” tool to recall.

Deafheaven and Tribulation at the Social (Nov. 11) Author & Punisher at Will’s Pub (Nov. 10) Meat Puppets at Will’s Pub (Oct. 28) Wet Nurse’s homecoming show at St. Matthew’s Tavern (Oct. 23) The Atom Age at Will’s Pub (Oct. 18) Failure, Hum and Torche at House of Blues (Oct. 11) My Hotel Year reunion show at Will’s Pub (Sept. 11) Christopher Paul Stelling at Will’s Pub (Sept. 8) The In-Between Series featuring Moon Jelly at the Gallery at Avalon Island (Aug. 17) 10. Culture Club at the Hard Rock Live (Aug. 16) 11. “Weird Al” at Hard Rock Live (Aug. 11) 12. Meatwound at Will’s Pub (July 2) 13. Ceremony and Tony Molina at the Social (June 23) 14. The Rolling Stones at the Citrus Bowl (June 12) 15. Fidlar and Metz at the Social (May 12) 16. Sage Francis and Solillaquists of Sound at the Social (April 23) 17. Total Fuck Off Weekend II in Mills 50 (March 27-28) 18. Hundred Waters at Dr. Phillips Center (March 13) 19. Ralphfest 4 at various venues (Feb. 21-22) 20. You Blew It! EP release at Park Ave CDs (Feb. 4) abelanger@orlandoweekly.com 32

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DEAFHEAVEN PHOTO BY JEN CRAY, “WEIRD AL” PHOTO BY CHRISTOPHER GARCIA

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Lighten up Matisyahu shaves his signature beard and shakes up his sonic range

By AlAn sCulley FeSTIVal oF lIGHT: an InTIMaTe eVenInG wITH MaTISyaHU 8 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 16 | The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave. | 407-2281220 | plazaliveorlando.com | $34.50-$49.50

MATISYAHU PHOTO BY JARED POLIN

a

side from ZZ Top, probably no other musician could cause more of a commotion by shaving his beard than Matisyahu.

While ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill have not taken a razor to their signature facial hair, Matisyahu trimmed his in December 2011. It radically altered his appearance, but registered on a much deeper level because of what the whiskerwhacking represented to an entire population.

As music’s leading Hasidic artist, Matisyahu inspired a legion of people.

Matisyahu set an example for how to follow the Orthodox Jewish religion, yet also assimilate into society and enjoy such secular pursuits as partying or going to concerts and clubs.

Although he tried to explain that he

had not rejected his Jewish faith and had only decided he could not live by certain specific rules that are part of the religion, the change in Matisyahu’s appearance, as well as the absence of a yarmulke as part of Matisyahu’s clothing, incited plenty of consternation and questions.

Three-plus years and two albums (2012’s Spark Seeker and the new release Akeda) later, Matisyahu says he has yet to get a good read on how going clean-shaven has impacted his image.

“There are some people who get it and there are some people that don’t, and that’s what it is,” he says in a phone interview.

“I have no control over who understands my life and who doesn’t understand it and who understands my music and who doesn’t. And I try not to spend too much time really thinking, or worrying or even reading comments about it. I’m busy kind of living my life.”

Up until he revealed his new look, Matisyahu hadn’t dealt with much criticism. Now 36, he started to get on the music scene radar with his independently

released 2004 debut album, Shake Off the Dust … Arise. That was followed in 2005 by the concert CD Live at Stubb’s, which was picked up for release by Epic Records and gained mainstream media attention.

He was praised for his sound, a blend of reggae, hip-hop and rock, and for the spiritual, uplifting messages in his lyrics.

He ended 2006 riding a wave of popularity, as his second studio album, Youth, debuted on the Billboard album chart at No. 4 and one of the album’s singles, “King Without a Crown,” went top 10 on Billboard’s Modern Rock chart.

That song remains Matisyahu’s biggest hit, but his subsequent studio albums – 2009’s Light and 2012’s Spark Seeker – also received favorable reviews, while doing well enough commercially to solidify his place as one of reggae’s top artists, keeping him on the mainstream rock/pop radar.

Those two albums, as well as Akeda, also helped show that Matisyahu’s music extends beyond the reggae sound that first gained him attention.

The latest album is especially diverse.

Hip-hop remains a core element, blending with electronic pop on “Star on the Rise” and “Vow of Silence.” There is also tuneful rock on the horn-filled “Watch the Walls Melt Down” and “Reservoir,” and pop on “Built to Survive” and “Ayeka (Teach Me to Love).”

Meanwhile, reggae, which had been less pronounced on Light and particularly Spark Seeker, returns in a prominent way on the songs “Black Heart” and “Confidence.”

“I think my music has always been really diverse. It’s always had this, you know, really, I think, unique mixture of genres,” Matisyahu says. “Because I was so heavily influenced by this dancehall conscious reggae music in the early 2000s, when I was really developing my voice, that was the main voicing that I used. But throughout time, I’ve always dipped into different things and combined different things.”

Always a dynamic live performer, Matisyahu will have his backing group, the Dub Trio, plus guitarist Dugan on tour with him. Fans can expect to hear some of Akeda, as well as a couple of tracks each from his previous albums. And since his Dec. 16 show at the Plaza Live is part of his annual “Festival of Lights” holiday tour, the show will have a few twists.

“It’s really an extension of the fall tour,” Matisyahu says. “We do bring out a disco ball and we have a good time with the lighting of the menorah and all of that kind of stuff. But outside of that, the songs we play, it will be sort of a continuation of the fall tour, with the exception that we will play the Hanukkah songs that [we do].”

Great live music rattles OrlandO EVErY nIGHT

AC slater LA’s AC Slater earns his rep as King of Heavy Bass House in America by reimagining the future of house music while simultaneously keeping it old school.

10 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 16, at the Social, $7.50-$10

“on the Come up” featuring one Drop Swamburger’s latest showcase reunites the positive force of One Drop alongside jaw-drop support in Alexandrah Love and DiVinci, J-Live and Kristen Warren.

9 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 17, at the Social, $10

orlando Tribute to Jimi hendrix Some of Orlando’s most revered musicians tip their hats to one of music’s most powerful figures at the seventh annual tribute, also the 10th annual event that features a food drive benefiting Fern Creek Elementary.

9 p.m. Friday, Dec. 18, at Will’s Pub, $10

The outlaws The Tampa Southern Rock breakout band of the ’70s returned this year with new album It’s About Pride, and original singer Henry Paul is bent on proving just that at the Plaza.

7 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 19, at the Plaza Live, $29.50-$120

Thomas Wynn & Friends It’s a holiday show and fundraiser led by one of Orlando’s brightest stars, with special appearances by Tampa shakers Sheba & the Shamans and Bad Santa & the Angry Elves.

5:30 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 20, at Will’s Pub, $10

Jonnie Morgan His songs form an exciting core for his notable jam band, but you can catch the singer-songwriter stripped down but still rocking acoustic this night.

9 p.m. Monday, Dec. 21, at Will’s Pub, $5

Chris Charles Trio Chris Charles and his esteemed musician friends make Tuesday better at the Smiling Bison each week.

7:30 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 22, at the Smiling Bison, free

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Fuck the Facts

BY B AO L E - H U U

PHOTO BY JEN CRAY

Although indie booking giant

Foundation Presents is as defining a force as it gets in this city’s music scene, it’s not on the local front. But Marshal Rones, one of the group’s newer and most enterprising staff members, has been changing that. This summer, he initiated free Monday shows at Olde 64. In the new year, he’ll up the local scene events happening at their HQ compound (which includes the Beacham, the Social, Olde 64 and Aero) yet another click.

Beginning Jan. 6, he’ll launch Punk on the Patio, a monthly concert series featuring a very attractive combination of setting, value and schedule. Like the name suggests, the shows will happen at the Patio, the great exterior urban space that was Eye Spy. Contrary to the name, however, the music won’t just be limited to punk. The debut features the indie-pop effervescence of Out Go the Lights and the technical breezes of Slumberjack alongside the fuzz-punk brilliance of Flashlights.

Cover will be $5, which is standard. But that includes a free drink (any domestic or well), which is generous, and delicious.

And with a tight, relatively early show time – doors at 8 p.m., music at 9 p.m., over by midnight – Punk on the Patio is very doable for music heads who also have responsibilities. No school-night excuses needed.

Now local scenesters have new reason to follow the Social’s calendar because there hasn’t been this much street-level stirrings from this usually national-minded group since the administration of about six years ago that brought cool events there like Garage Days.

Fuck the Facts proves one of the most distinctive grind outfits I’ve seen in a very long time, possibly ever.

THE BEAT

Grindcore is a narrow genre whose dense hairs are difficult to split for practically all but heavy-music academics.

What’s clear about Tampa’s Kaya, however, is that they’re a furious band that rushes headlong, hits hard and does not fuck around. They came to town (Dec. 9, Uncle Lou’s), set up their equipment and then raged full-blast for maybe 10 minutes, tops. Seriously punk.

Of course, just when I say how narrow grindcore is, Canadian headliner Fuck the Facts comes with an expansive and box-shattering vision of it. I’ve been to many extreme shows, grind and otherwise. But in sound and bearing, it was like suddenly seeing in color. They were total wrath, but a kind that was also somehow dimensional and atmospheric. And they ripped with presence electrifying enough to prove one of the most distinctive grind outfits I’ve seen in a very long time, possibly ever.

With OW’s silver anniversary issue, warm nostalgia was the theme last week.

Apparently, it was a big enough deal that the cosmos played along, bringing Latinalternative band Aterciopelados back to town. Seriously, the timing was supernatural. I dropped their name in my essay on former music editor Jason Ferguson and they played here the next day (Dec. 10, the Social). The Colombian band doesn’t come often, Ferguson was the one who introduced me to their music, and my first and last time seeing them was in his company and his employ as OW’s new music columnist back in 2006 at a Latin nightclub just off I-Drive.

Fate pays attention, guys. Watch your ass.

I was immediately struck at that first encounter by their art-freak energy. But seeing them now in a pro concert venue that I’m very familiar with, their place in the music galaxy is much more manifest. The turnout was strong and the fever even stronger, with lots of cheering and sing-alongs. In a proper live facility, their performance was even better, showing fully how well they synthesize the edge of progressiveness and the soul of tradition in ways that aren’t forced or Frankenstein.

And because the zeitgeist right now is skewed so hard with all the xenophobic and, ironically, un-American rhetoric swirling about, I’m noting exactly how nice it was to be back in touch with a human experience like this. Hardly any English was spoken onstage at this concert and I didn’t understand a word, but I felt all the soul. Fuck that other noise. baolehuu@orlandoweekly.com orlandoweekly.com

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OUR PICKS FOR THE BEST EVENTS THIS WEEK

Wednesday, 16

Camp Movie Night: The Star Wars Holiday Special It’s almost here. Star Wars: The Force Awakens opens in theaters this Friday, Dec. 18, and is set to become the biggest movie release of all goddamn time. But are your expectations set too high? Are you ensuring that you endure prequel-level disappointment by putting J.J. Abrams’ take on a galaxy far, far away on a pedestal before you even see it? Fear not. Marc With a C is here to knock down your enthusiasm several levels by hosting a screening of the notorious 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special, which aired exactly one time on CBS and was so hated that it was never rebroadcasted or released on home media in any form. For some reason, the producers of the special felt like alienating the audience right away by having the majority of the dialogue be in Shyriiwook. (That’s the main Wookiee language, which has more than 150 words for “wood.” Thanks, Wookieepedia!) Watch as Chewbacca’s wife, Malla, learns how to cook from a four-armed Harvey Korman. Cringe as Chewie’s dad, Itchy, gets really into a borderline pornographic performance by singer Diahann Carroll. Be grateful when Bea Arthur sings a song about closing time at the Mos Eisley cantina because it means you’re almost done. After watching this special, it will be impossible to be let down

by The Force Awakens, even if Kylo Ren turns out to be the secret identity of Jar Jar Binks. – Thaddeus McCollum

FILM

CAMP MOVIE NIGHT: THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL

8 p.m. | The Geek Easy, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park | 407-332-9636 | mygeekeasy.com | free Wednesday, 16

The Bowery Shadows: a reading of Patti Smith’s work Patti Smith’s latest book, M Train, opens with the line “It’s not so easy writing about nothing.” Call that poetic license (a license Smith certainly possesses in perpetuity); M Train could more accurately be described as being about everything. Just like the punk poet-priestess’ earlier memoirs Just Kids (soon to be an HBO series), Woolgathering and The Coral Sea, this latest encompasses nothing less than the birth of an artistic soul. Nicholas Sellitto, impresario of the Modern Music Movement, had been meaning to create a Patti Smith event and when he saw she had a new book out, figured it was a good time to take the leap. The Bowery Shadows will follow the pattern of earlier MMM events like William Burroughs: Midnight Exterminations: readings accompanied by music apropos to the poet – in this case, Smith’s poems will be read

by Megan Faubel, Ashley Inguanta and Lisa Bugayong (of Obliterati), with the angular saxophone accompaniment of another Obliterati member, Jim Ivy. We feel sure this talented quartet will raise the shadows and ghostly presences that swirl though Smith’s work, along with the populist punk spirit of the Bowery. – Jessica Bryce Young LITERARY

9 p.m. | The Parkview, 136 S. Park Ave., Winter Park | free

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THE BOWERY SHADOWS: A READING OF PATTI SMITH’S WORK

Thursday, 12

Saturday, 19

Squares are a big deal. In the nottoo-distant past, squares were the primary means by which we interfaced with media: televisions were square, computer monitors were square and even pictures, before Instagram relaxed its restrictions and rectangles became all the rage, were square. So show some love to one of the world’s most useful polygons at a gallery show that’s all about the square. Over 44 artists are participating, including local worthies Andrew Spear, Thomas Thorspecken, Morgan Wilson, Parker Sketch and Jaime Margary. All art featured at the show is available for purchase, and all of the pieces are restricted to a square aspect ratio. The InstaShow doubles as the soft opening for CityArt’s new Pop Up Gallery, a space for youth artists in the Central Florida region. Be there, or be square. – Bernard Wilchusky

MUSIC The usually scarcely populated and grimy back lot of the Spacebar and Sandwich Bar in the Milk District is about to get a lot more warm and fuzzy. You know that holiday sweater you swore you would never wear after 2012? It’s time to dust it off for Saturday’s Sweater Fest.

Besides the multiple circles of friends expected to form in the back lot, prepare your eyes and ears for the groovy goofiness that is silent disco. But we won’t go into too much detail about that – it would ruin the fun! The outdoor stage won’t be blasting the NSync Christmas album, but think of this year’s selection of bands as an all-star lineup with SWIMM’s partyready psychedelia and Fat Night’s jazzy funk. – Marissa Mahoney

Sweater Fest

SquareLando InstaShow ART

with SWIMM, Fat Night, Someday River, Thrift House, Harum Scarum, Timothy Eerie, Die Tryins and Frankasaurus Fresh | 7 p.m. | The Milk District, 2428 E. Robinson St. | happycamper booking.com | $10

opens 5 p.m. Thursday | CityArts Factory, 29 S. Orange Ave. | 407-648-7060 | free Saturday, 19

THE SCENE PHOTO BY CAMERON NICOLE BIMS

The Scene III Alternative Hip-Hop Music & Art Festival

THE SCENE III ALTERNATIVE HIP-HOP MUSIC & ART FESTIVAL

MUSIC It will be a spectacle at Venue 578 when the Scene III draws upon rad artists to create a live interactive community mural to captivate the cheer you can always expect at this massive party.

The hip-hop festival features too many acts to name ’em all, but highlights include Phraydoe Peans & Mango Beats, Split Soul and Nosis.

Plus there will be spoken word and B-boys and -girls, a vinyl swap meet, T-shirt and merch expo, and rad DJs keeping spirits bumpin’ all night. It’s also a toy drive, so bring something for the kiddies. – Ashley Belanger

8 p.m. | Venue 578, 578 N. Orange Ave. | 407-872-0066 | venue578. com | $10

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tHe week

THEWEEK

submit your events to listings@orlandoweekly.com at least 12 days before print to have them included

Wednesday, deC. 16-tuesday, deC. 22 Compiled By tHaddeus mCCollum

Wednesday, dec. 16

ConCerts/events AC Slater 10 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; $7.50-$10; 407-246-1419.

Arms and Sleepers, Automagik, Burning Gold 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $7-$10.

Eugene Snowden’s Ten Pints of Truth 10 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free.

Festival of Light: An Intimate Evening With Matisyahu 7 pm; The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave.; $34.50$49.50; 407-228-1220.

The Get 2nds 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

Orlando Music Group Open Jam 10:45 pm; St. Matthew’s Tavern, 1300 N. Mills Ave.; free.

[MUSIC] XLent XMas: Shaggy see this page

N. Orange Blossom Trail; free; 407-425-7571.

Reggae Night with Hor!zen and DJ Red I 10 pm; The Caboose, 1827 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-898-7733.

Wednesday Karaoke Nights 6-9 pm; Yellow Dog Eats, 1236 Hempel Ave., Windermere; free; 727-5054566.

Clubs/lounges

opera/ClassiCal

Bearaoke 8 pm; Stonewall Bar Orlando, 741 W. Church St.; free; 407-373-0888.

Bach at the Alfond 2-3 pm; an informal and intimate concert. The Alfond Inn, 300 E. New England Ave., Winter Park; $12.50; 407-998-8090; bachfestivalflorida.org.

Dorm Wednesday 9 pm; Pulse, 1912 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-3888.

Dave Sheffield Jazz Trio 9 pm; Winter Park Beer Company, 1809 E. Winter Park Road; free.

Untucked Bingo 5:30-9 pm; Parliament House, 410 40

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ConCerts/events Bad Santa & the Angry Elves 10 pm; The Hideaway Bar, 516 Virginia Drive; free; 407-898-5892.

N. Orange Ave.; contact for price; 407-839-04357.

Third Thursday Blues: The Smokin’ Torpedoes 8 pm; The Smiling Bison, 745 Bennett Road; free; 407-259-8036.

Latin Night 9 pm; Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; contact for price; 407-425-7571.

Leisure Chief 10 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

Torque: AK1200, Shipp’Oh, Dioptrics 10 pm; Native Social Bar, 27 W. Church St.; $5; 407-403-2938.

Mephiskapheles, Control This!, Abandon the Midwest, Yugoskavia, Bombflower 8 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10-$13.

XLent Xmas: Shaggy, Walk the Moon, Tori Kelly 7:30 pm; House of Blues, Downtown Disney West Side, Lake Buena Vista; $55; 407-934-2583.

On the Come Up 2: One Drop, Alexandra & DiVinci, J-Live, Kristen Warren 9 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; $10; 407-246-1419.

Clubs/lounges

Thursday, dec. 17

Trivia Quest 8-10 pm; Campus Cards & Games, 12226 Corporate Blvd.; free; 407-730-3161.

N. Bumby Ave.; $18$25; 407-228-1220.

Bebop Blues Jam and VooDoo Party 8 pm; Muldoon’s Saloon, 7439 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-657-9980.

Open Mic Jazz 8 pm; Austin’s Coffee, 929 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-975-3364.

Geek Trivia 9 pm; Cloak and Blaster, 875 Woodbury Road; free.

Pink Talking Fish 7 pm; The Plaza Live, 425

Indiecent Thursdays 10 pm; Independent Bar, 70

Open Mic with Chuck Culbertson 9 pm; Little Fish Huge Pond, 401 S. Sanford Ave., Sanford; free; 407-221-1499.

Retuned 10 pm; The Monkey Bar, 26 Wall Street Plaza; free; 407-481-1199.

Slowburn Thursdays with DJ Nigel John third Thursday of every month, 9 pm; The Courtesy Bar, 114 N. Orange Ave.; free.

Think Tank Trivia 8 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free.

You Can’t Sit With Us Ladies Night 11:45 pm-3:30 am; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; free-$3; 407-999-2570.

cOnTInued On page 43

PHOTO COURTESY OF VP RECORDS

Ladies Night Blues Jam 8 The Met Live in HD: The pm; The Alley, 114 S. Park Ave., Magic Flute 6:30 pm; Sanford; free; 407-328-4848. An encore screening of the very first Met Live in One Hit Wonder HD opera broadcast to Wednesdays 10 pm; The theaters; multiple locations; Patio, 14 W. Washington $24; fathomevents.com.

St.; free; 407-354-1577.

Boris, Carlos Mendoza, Renzo 10 pm; Tier Nightclub, 20 E. Central Ave.; free; 407-317-9129.

THE WEEK

ORLANDO

Original Trilogy Screening Barley & Vine brings you the original, non-Special Edition version of Star Wars Episodes IV-VI. Han shoots first, and you get to chow down on food from the Wandering Wonton and beer specials from B&V. 6 p.m. Wednesday; Barley & Vine Biergarten, 2406 E. Washington St.; free; barleyandvineorlando.com

Ho Ho Ho Around the Hood It’s the last Drink Around the Hood of the year, so look for generous pours at all of our participating locations in our monthly foot-powered booze cruise of the Ivanhoe Village district.

Free holiday hugs if you corner the calendar editor. 6:30 p.m. Wednesday; Ivanhoe Village Main Street, Orange Avenue between New Hampshire and Princeton streets; $10-$15; drinkaroundthehood.com

Star Wars Release Party If you effed up and didn’t get a presale ticket to the midnight screenings of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, stop by the Copper Rocket in your best Star Wars costume and beg for a ticket to a screening that very night. Also there’s a costume contest or whatever. 6 p.m. Thursday; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; free; 407-636-3171; copperrocketpub.com

La Fée Dragée Bottle Release The Hourglass Brewery releases their newest beer, named after the sugarplum candies and fairies besotting any good holiday party or ballet.

11 a.m. Saturday; The Hourglass Brewery, 255 S. Ronald Reagan Blvd.; $18 per bottle; thehourglassbrewery.com

G. Love & Special Sauce April 7 at the Social Ben Prestage, Dec. 31 at Will’s Pub

Colin Hay, Jan. 30 at the Plaza Live

Hunter Valentine, Feb. 21 at Will’s Pub

JJ Grey & Mofro, Dec. 31 at House of Blues

Def Leppard, Jan. 30 at Amway Center

Daley, Feb. 22 at the Social

Jim Jefferies, Jan. 31 at the Plaza Live

The Zombies, Feb. 24 at the Plaza Live

Orgy, Jan. 8 at West End Trading Co. Silversun Pickups, Jan. 9 at the Plaza Live Rebelution, Jan. 9-10 at Hard Rock Live Mickey Avalon & Dirty Nasty, Jan. 12 at the Social Ani DiFranco, Jan. 15 at the Plaza Live SFS 10 Year Anniversary: Reverend Horton Heat, Unknown Hinson and more, Jan. 17 at Will’s Pub Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Jan. 20 at the Dr. Phillips Center Galactic, Jan. 21 at the Plaza Live Torche, Jan. 22 at Will’s Pub Arlo Guthrie, Jan. 23 at the Plaza Live

Barry Manilow, Feb. 2 at Amway Center Graham Nash, Feb. 3 at the Plaza Live Moon Taxi, Feb. 3 at the Social Europe, Feb. 4 at House of Blues Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine, Feb. 5 at House of Blues

Creed Bratton, Feb. 25 at Backbooth O.A.R., Feb. 26 at House of Blues New Found Glory, March 3 at the Social Melanie Martinez, March 6 at House of Blues

G. Love & Special Sauce, April 7 at the Social Stick Figure, April 7 at the Beacham Napalm Death, the Melvins, April 8 at the Plaza Live

Herbie Hancock & Wayne Shorter, April 20 at the Dr. Phillips Center Underoath, April 24 at Hard Rock Live

Gordon Lightfoot, March 10 at the Plaza Live

Demi Lovato & Nick Jonas, June 25 at Amway Center

Mutemath, Feb. 19 at House of Blues

Less Than Jake, March 17-18 at the Social

Justin Bieber, June 30 at Amway Center

Patti LaBelle, Feb. 20 at the Dr. Phillips Center

Logic, March 28 at the Beacham

Charles Bradley & His Extraordinaires, Feb. 21 at the Social

They Might Be Giants, April 6 at the Beacham

Twenty One Pilots, July 1 at Amway Center

Trailer Park Boys, Feb. 13 at Backbooth Yanni, Feb. 13 at the Dr. Phillips Center

DEC 18

GUACO

DEC 20

KIDZ BOP KIDS

DEC 30

COREY SMITH

DEC 31

JJ GREY & MOFRO

JAN 22

THE WAILERS

JAN 23

MARIANAS TRENCH EPICA –

THE NORTH AMERICAN ENIGMA TOUR

FEB 4

EUROPE

FEB 6

HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS

SPECIALS • OFFERS • UPDATES

House of Blues® Downtown Disney® West Side 1490 E. BUENA VISTA DR. LAKE BUENA VISTA, FL 32830 407.932.2583 HOUSEOFBLUES.COM/ORLANDO

Maroon 5, Sept. 9 at Amway Center

orlandoweekly.com

TORI KELLY, WALK THE MOON & SHAGGY

FEB 3

The Used, April 19-20 at House of Blues

Moody Blues, March 8 at the Dr. Phillips Center

DEC 17

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FRIDAY, 18

Travis Scott Nobody can touch Travis Scott’s style in the hip-hop or pop world, and his 2015 debut, Rodeo, could not have been more hotly anticipated or more righteously received.

Since he joined Kanye West’s GOOD Music, his fans have hungered for more than the mixtapes and bold production that allowed Scott’s reputation to explode (notably on Rihanna hit “Bitch Better Have My Money”) before anyone even knew they needed his “Antidote.” It’s one of the year’s biggest tracks, and you can bet Venue 578 will explode when he invokes its infectious trippy sway live. – Ashley Belanger

MUSIC

8 p.m. | Venue 578, 578 N. Orange Ave. | 407-872-0066 | venue578.com | $45-$65

cOnTInued FrOM page 40

opera/ClassiCal Christmas Carillon Concerts 1 & 3 pm; Geert D’hollander performs 30-minute Christmas music concerts on the 60-bell singing tower. Bok Tower Gardens, 1151 Tower Blvd., Lake Wales; $12-$18; 863-6761408; boktowergardens.org.

Noel: The Carols of Christmas 5 pm; A free holiday concert from Central Florida Community Arts. Seneff Arts Plaza, 445 S. Magnolia Ave.; free; 844-5132014; drphillipscenter.org.

FrIday, dec. 18

ConCerts/events

Guaco 8 pm; House of Blues, Downtown Disney West Side, Lake Buena Vista; $40; 407-934-2583.

Holiday Esc.: bigLittle 9 pm; Rok Room, 41 W. Church St.; free-$10; 321-663-2431.

Leon Russell 7 pm; The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave.; $29.50-$49.50; 407-228-1220.

Liquid Spiral 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

Mango Beats 10 pm; Debbie’s Bar, 1422 State Road 436, Casselberry; free; 407-677-5963.

Dr. K & Friends Blue Jazz 8 pm; Chef Eddie’s, 595 W. Church St.; free; 407-595-8494.

Martial Law, the Jodones, Pizza Nightmare, Part Time Nothing 9 pm; Uncle Lou’s Entertainment Hall, 1016 N. Mills Ave.; $5; 407-270-9104.

Gnarly Whales, Gutless, Evil Virgins 8 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; $5; 407-246-1419.

The Network X-Mas Party: Sage Armstrong, Jai Biotic, See Shellz 8 pm; Sandwich

Bar, 2432 E. Robinson St.; free-$10; 407-421-1670.

Orlando Tribute to Jimi Hendrix 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10.

Rosedale, Matt Welsh, Raising Cadence, Captains of April, Reverist 7 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $10-$12; 407-999-2570.

St. Matt’s 2-Year Anniversary: Savi Fernandez, DJ Dizzle Phunk 9 pm; St. Matthew’s Tavern, 1300 N. Mills Ave.; contact for price.

Tory Lanez, Boogie 8 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; $17-$20; 407-246-1419.

Travis Scott 8 pm; Venue 578, 578 N. Orange Ave.; $45-$60; 407-872-0066.

Welcome to Neverland 9 pm; Peek Downtown, 50 E. Central Blvd. Suite B; free. cOnTInued On page 44

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[MUSIC] AC Slater see page 40

cOnTInued FrOM page 43

HEAR OUR

VOICES

Tune in at 9:59AM every Thursday and Saturday.

One minute of controversy from Orlando Weekly’s Erin Sullivan & Billy Manes

Only on O 9 90.7 FM

Clubs/lounges

ConCerts/events

DJ BMF 10 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free.

The Company 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

DJ Jay 9 pm; The Green Bar, 400 E. State Road 436, Casselberry; free; 407-332-6470.

Fame Fridays 10 pm; Ember Bar and Restaurant, 42 W. Central Blvd.; $10; 407-448-0216.

Footloose 80s Night midnight; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; free; 407-999-2570.

Nerdy Karaoke 8 pm; The Geek Easy, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park; free; 407-332-9636.

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The Smoking Torpedoes 8 pm; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; $5; 407-636-3171.

DJ Smilin’ Dan 10 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free.

Sweater Fest: SWIMM, Fat Night, Someday River, Thrift House and more 7 pm; The Milk District Pavilion, 2432 E. Robinson St.; $10.

John Lennon Tribute Christmas Party Fundraiser Noon; Mennello Museum of American Art, 900 E. Princeton St.; donations encouraged; 407-246-4278.

Thomas Wynn & the Believers, Neil Alday & the Further South, Doc Ellis Orchestra 8 pm; West End Trading Company, 202 S. Sanford Ave., Sanford; $10-$12; 407-322-7475.

Joy: An Irish Christmas 7:30 pm; Bob Carr Theater, 401 W. Livingston St.; $30.38$62.33; 407-246-4262.

Clubs/lounges

Platinum Friday 4 pm; Pulse, 1912 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-3888.

Mannheim Steamroller Universal Studios, 6000 Universal Blvd.; cost of admission; 407-363-8000.

Rhythm League third Friday of every month, 6 pm; Stigma Tattoo Bar, 17 S. Orange Ave.; free; 321 228 4136.

Merry Tuba Christmas 1 pm; Central Park, Winter Park, North Park Avenue and West Morse Boulevard, Winter Park; free.

Wall Street Plaza Block Party 11 pm; Wall Street Plaza, Wall and Court streets; free; 407-8490471.

The Outlaws, Henry Paul Band 7 pm; The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave.; $29.50$125; 407-228-1220.

opera/ClassiCal

Roosevelt Collier (Featuring Anthony Cole and Matt Lapham), Brown Note 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10-$12.

Christmas Carillon Concerts 1 & 3 pm; Geert D’hollander performs 30-minute Christmas music concerts on the 60-bell singing tower. Bok Tower Gardens, 1151 Tower Blvd., Lake Wales; $12-$18; 863-6761408; boktowergardens.org.

44

saTurday, dec. 19

The Scene III Alternative HipHop Music and Art Festival 8 pm; Venue 578, 578 N. Orange Ave.; $10; 407-872-0066.

DJ Cliff T 10 pm; Aero, 60 N. Orange Ave.; free; 321-245-7730.

MarsRadio’s Upstairs Suite: Deep & Chilled Out Sessions 10 pm-2 am; Kush Ultra Lounge and Hookah Bar, 23 S. Court Ave.; $10; 407-834-5874.

Midnight Mass Dance Party midnight; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; free; 407-999-2570.

Saturday With the Beat 10 pm; The Beacham, 46 N. Orange Ave.; $10-$20; 407-648-8363.

opera/ClassiCal Christmas Carillon Concerts 1 & 3 pm; Geert D’hollander performs 30-minute Christmas music concerts on the 60-bell singing tower. Bok Tower Gardens, 1151 Tower Blvd., cOnTInued On page 47

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[MUSIC] Guaco see page 43

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Lake Wales; $12-$18; 863-6761408; boktowergardens.org. sunday, dec. 20

ConCerts/events Ancient Sun 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

Darkfiasco, Mr. Bongos, DJ McChicken, Midnight Inspector, 5tylo, Svntvs Trvp House 7 pm; Uncle Lou’s Entertainment Hall, 1016 N. Mills Ave.; $5; 407-270-9104.

Mannheim Steamroller Universal Studios, 6000 Universal Blvd.; cost of admission; 407-363-8000.

Southern Fried Sunday: Thomas Wynn & Friends, Bad Santa & the Angry Elves, more 5:30 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10.

A Well Strung Christmas 7 pm; The Abbey, 100 S. Eola Drive; $35; 407-704-6261.

Clubs/lounges Acoustic Open Mic with Chris Dupre 9 pm; Muldoon’s Saloon, 7439 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-657-9980.

An Tobar Trivia 6 pm; An Tobar, 600 N. Lake Destiny Drive, Maitland; $5; 407-267-4044.

The Beacham Top 20 7 pm; The Beacham, 46 N. Orange Ave.; 407-648-8363.

Bingo After Dark 10 pm; Waitiki Retro Tiki Lounge, 26 Wall Street Plaza; free; 407-481-1199.

Power Chords: A Not So Silent Night 7 pm; The Abbey, 100 S. Eola Drive; $15; 407-704-6261.

Blues Jam hosted by Doc Williamson 5 pm; The Alley, 114 S. Park Ave., Sanford; free; 407-328-4848.

Reggae Mondae with Kash’d Out 10 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

Make It Rain third Saturday, Sunday of every month; The Beacham, 46 N. Orange Ave.; contact for price; 407-246-1419.

Straight Jacket, Vapid, Declared Ungovernable 9 pm; Uncle Lou’s Entertainment Hall, 1016 N. Mills Ave.; $5; 407-270-9104.

Tropical Sundays with DJ Frankie G 10 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; $5-$15; 407246-1419.

opera/ClassiCal

TMD UK: UKBeachDay, Dayvid, ’07 Chev, Jean-Jacques 9 pm; Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St.; free-£1; 407-228-0804.

Clubs/lounges Christmas Carillon Concerts 1 & 3 pm; Geert D’hollander performs 30-minute Christmas music concerts on the 60-bell singing tower. Bok Tower Gardens, 1151 Tower Blvd., Lake Wales; $12-$18; 863-6761408; boktowergardens.org.

MOnday, dec. 21

ConCerts/events The Detour, Casaveda, Everlost 8 pm; Olde 64, 64 N. Orange Ave.; free; 321-245-7730.

Jazz Meets Motown 7 pm; Bohemian Hotel Celebration, 700 Bloom St., Celebration; free.

Jonnie Morgan, Clayton Senne, Emma Shackelford 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $5.

Bears in the City Bearaoke 9 pm-1 am; Bar Codes, 4453 Edgewater Drive; free; 407-412-6917.

Curtis Earth Trivia 6:30 pm; Bikes Beans & Bordeaux, 3022 Corrine Drive; free; 407-427-1440.

Curtis Earth Trivia 7 pm; Graffiti Junktion - Thornton Park, 900 E. Washington St.; free; 407-426-9503.

Game Night 9 pm; Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; free; 407-425-7571.

Live Acoustic Music 8 pm; Winter Park Beer Company, 1809 E. Winter Park Road; free.

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[COMEDY] Joe Rogan see page 51

cOnTInued FrOM page 47

Man Mondays 5:30 pm; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060.

Noche Latina 9 pm; Pulse, 1912 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-3888.

Rock Band Jam Night 8:30 pm; The Haven, 6700 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-673-2712.

White Trash Bingo with Doug Ba’aser 10 pm; Stonewall Bar Orlando, 741 W. Church St.; free; 407-373-0888.

Tuesday, dec. 22

ConCerts/events Con Leche 10 pm; St. Matthew’s Tavern, 1300 N. Mills Ave.; free.

The Groove Orient 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

Jazz in the Courtyard with the DaVinci Jazz Experiment 7-9 pm; Cafe DaVinci, 112 W. Georgia Ave., DeLand; free; 386-873-2943.

PHOTO CREDIT: JAMES LAW

Jazz Tuesdays 7:30 pm; The Smiling Bison, 745 Bennett Road; free; 407-898-8580.

Music Remembrance Jazz Trio 8 pm; Paradise Cove Restaurant and Bar, 4380 Carraway Place, Sanford; free.

Soul Shakedown: James Brown Holiday Jam 10 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; free.

A Tanqueray’s Christmas: Tears of a Tyrant 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

Ivanhoe Trivia Knight 6 pm; The Hammered Lamb, 1235 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-704-3200.

Twisted Christmas: Holey Miss Moley (Meters Tribute Set) 9 pm; Red Lion Pub, 3784 Howell Branch Road, Winter Park; $3 suggested donation; 407-6779669.

Korndogg’s Karaoke 10 pm; Shine, 25 Wall Street Plaza; free; 407-849-9904.

Clubs/lounges Bears in the City Bear Beats Bearaoke 9 pm-1 am; Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; free; 407-425-7571.

Copper Rocket Open Mic 7 pm; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; free; 321-202-0011.

Dirty Bingo 9 pm; Stardust Lounge, 431 E. Central Blvd.; free; 407-839-0080.

Drunken Trivia with Mike G. 8 pm; Graffiti Junktion College Park, 2401 Edgewater Drive; free; 407-377-1961.

Geek Trivia Tuesdays 7 pm; The Geek Easy, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park; free; 407-332-9636.

Open Mic at the Falcon 7-11 pm; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060.

Sanford Game Night 6-9 pm; La Sirena Gorda Cabana, 118 S. Palmetto Ave., Sanford; free; 407-504-9452.

Sound Culture with OAM 10 pm; Vixen Bar, 118 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-246-1529.

Talent Night Tuesday Open Mic 7 pm; Sleeping Moon Cafe, 495 N. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park; free; 321-972-8982.

Total Request Tuesdays with DJ Deron Martin 7 pm; Stonewall Bar Orlando, 741 W. Church St.; free; 407-373-0888.

Trivia Nation 7 pm; East Coast Wings & Grill SoDo, 3183 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-930-9464.

Grits ‘n’ Gravy 10 pm; Independent Bar, 70 N. Orange Ave.; free-$3; 407-839-0457.

Trivia Tuesday with Doug Ba’aser 5-9 pm; Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; free; 407-425-7571.

Hambingo with Miss Sammy and Carol Lee 6:30 pm; Hamburger Mary’s, 110 W. Church St.; free; 321-319-0600.

Tuesday Trivia Night 9 pm; Yellow Dog Eats, 1236 Hempel Ave., Windermere; free; 407-296-0609. cOnTInued On page 50

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[MUSIC] Leon Russell see page 43

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Twisted Tuesday 9 pm; Pulse, 1912 S. Orange Ave.; contact for price; 407-649-3888.

ThEaTEr Barbra Streisand: Holiday Memories A Christmas revue from a Barbra impersonator. With special guest “Neil Diamond.” Wednesday and Sunday, 2 pm; Historic State Theatre, 109 N. Bay St., Eustis; $18-$22; 352-3577777; baystreetplayers.org.

A Christmas Carol Theatre Downtown presents their annual traditional reading of Dickens’ classic. Mondays-Saturdays, 8 pm and Sunday, 3:30 pm; Central Christian Church, 250 W. Ivanhoe Blvd.; $22; 407-8410083; theatredowntown.net.

Forever Plaid: Plaid Tidings This musical comedy offers the best of Forever Plaid tied up in a nifty package with a big Christmas bow on top. Wednesday-Thursday, 2 pm, Friday, 7:30 pm and Saturday, 2 & 7:30 pm; 50

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Miracle on 34th Street A charming play inspired by the 1947 film about mail fraud.

Fridays, 8-10 pm, Saturdays, 2-4 & 8-10 pm and Saturdays, Sundays, 2-4 pm; Garden Theatre, 160 W. Plant St., Winter Garden; $25-$33; 407-8774736; gardentheatre.org.

National Theatre Live: Hamlet Benedict Cumberbatch as the Dane. Sunday, 11 am; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $20; 407629-0054; enzian.org.

A One Man Christmas Carol David McElroy plays all 37 characters in this one-man production of the Dickens classic. Saturday, 7:30 pm; Historic State Theatre, 109 N. Bay St., Eustis; $15; 352-3577777; baystreetplayers.org.

Orange Blossom Trail Living Nativity Spectacular Wanzie’s hilarious depiction of a Living Nativity as imagined by a ragtag crew of characters recruited from along Orlando’s infamous North Orange Blossom Trail. Saturdays, 7:30 pm; Footlight Theatre, The Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; $18-$20; 407-425-7571; wanzie.com.

The Perfect Gift Stacia hates how the holidays are all about shopping and no longer about family and traditions.

She ends up under a bridge with a couple of homeless friends on Christmas Eve and discovers that sometimes all you have to do is listen to your heart to find holiday spirit.

Thursdays-Saturdays, 8 pm and Sundays, 4 pm; Marshall Ellis Theatre, 1300 La Quinta Drive; $15-$20; 720-989-3283; dangeroustheatre.com.

Peter and the Starcatcher A wildly theatrical, hilarious and innovative retelling of how a nameless orphan came to be the Boy Who Never Grew Up. Wednesday, 2 & 7:30 pm, Thursday-Friday, 7:30 pm, Saturday 2 & 7:30 pm, Sunday 2 pm and Tuesday, 7:30 pm; Orlando Shakespeare Theatre, 812 E. Rollins St.; $30-$55; orlandoshakes.org.

The Secret Garden Mary Lennox, a young English girl born and raised in the British Raj, is orphaned by a cholera outbreak when she is 11 years old. She is sent away from India to Yorkshire, England, to live with relatives whom she has never met. Thursday-Saturday, 7:30 pm and Sunday, 2:30 pm; Mad Cow Theatre, 54 W. Church St.; $32-$45; 407-2978788; madcowtheatre.com.

A Tuna Christmas An affectionate and comedic look at small-town Southern life and its colorful characters. Friday, 7:30 pm and Sunday, 2:30 pm; The Venue, 511 Virginia Drive; $20; 407-412-6895; thevenueorlando.com.

PHOTO CREDIT: DAVID MCCLISTER

Dickens by Candlelight A three-person interactive show providing theater-goers with a unique opportunity to experience A Christmas Carol the way it was intended to be told: as a ghost story. Friday, 8 pm, Saturday, 4 & 8 pm, Sunday, 2:30 pm, Monday-Tuesday, 8 pm; Orlando Shakespeare Theatre, 812 E. Rollins St.; $35; dickensbycandlelight.com.

Winter Park Playhouse, 711-C Orange Ave., Winter Park; $30-$40; 407-645-0145; winterparkplayhouse.org.

tHe week

The Wonderful Wizard of Song: An Evening With Harold Arlen Step into the American songbook with Arlen’s amazing catalog of songs. Thursday, 7:30 pm, Saturday, 7:30 pm and Sunday, 1 pm; Jewish Community Center of Greater Orlando, 851 N. Maitland Ave., Maitland; $20-$30; orlandojcc.org.

ComEdy Best of the Jest Comedy Showcase Hosted

by Devin Siebold. Tuesdays, 9 pm; Olde 64, 64 N. Orange Ave.; free; 321-245-7730.

Carmen Vallone’s Birthday Joke-Off A birthday comedy show hosted by Adam Avitable. Monday 8 pm; The Other Bar, 18 Wall St.; 407-843-8595.

9:30 pm; SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave.; $12-$15; 407-648-0001; sakcomedylab.com.

The Roast of Santa Claus Santa Claus gets roasted by his peers, including the Easter Bunny, Satan and Jesus.

Not for kids. Wednesday, 7 pm; Orlando Improv, 9101 International Drive; $10; 407480-5233; theimprovorlando.com.

Rob Little Thursday, 7 pm, Friday, 6:30 & 9:45 pm, Saturday, 6 & 9:45 pm and Sunday, 6 pm; Orlando Improv, 9101 International Drive; $17; 407-480-5233; theimprovorlando.com.

Shit Sandwich Probably the best comedy showcase in town. Show up early to grab a good seat. Saturday, 9 pm; Bull and Bush, 2408 E. Robinson St.; free; 407-896-7546.

Corsets & Cuties: The Cuties Do the Holidays A holiday burlesque show. Friday, 9 pm; The Venue, 511 Virginia Drive; $15-$18; 407-412-6895; thevenueorlando.com.

danCE

The Naughty List: A Burly Drag Variety Show A topsy turvy show that will turn Christmas on its head. Featuring Danika Panic as your emcee and host for the evening. Saturday, 10 pm; Bikkuri Lounge, 1919 E. Colonial Drive; $15; 407-501-1932.

Ballet Fedotov: The Nutcracker Ballet Fedotov and the Russian Academy of Ballet Alafaya present this classic holiday story of a young girl named Clara who dreams of a Nutcracker Prince and his fierce battle against the Mouse King. Saturday, 7 pm; Wayne Densch Performing Arts Center, 201 S. Magnolia Ave., Sanford; $21-$28; 407-321-8111; wdpac.com.

Noah: The Story of Us A Christmas dance show blending a myriad of dance styles, aerial acrobatics, larger-than-life cOnTInued On page 52

Comedy at the Caboose Hosted by Apollo Replay. Thursdays, 8 pm; The Caboose, 1827 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-898-7733.

Copper Rocket Comedy Jam Comedy open mic and showcase hosted by Heather Shaw. Sundays, 8:30 pm; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; free; 407636-3171; copperrocketpub.com.

Drunken Monkey Open Showcase Comedy open mic. Fridays, 8 pm; Drunken Monkey Coffee Bar, 444 N. Bumby Ave.; free; 407893-4994; drunkenmonkeycoffee.com.

Duel of Fools SAK All-Stars making it all up on the spot. Thursdays-Saturdays, 7:30 pm; SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave.; $12$15; 407-648-0001; sakcomedylab.com.

Early Show SAK favorites perform a more experimental show featuring improvised musicals and more extended formats based on audience suggestions. Saturdays, 11:30 pm; SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave.; $7-$10; 407-648-0001; sakcomedylab.com.

Gorilla Theatre This show features four professional improvisers directing each other in improvised scenes, games and songs to fit their chosen theme for the evening. Fridays, 9:30 pm; SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave.; $12-$15; 407-648-0001; sakcomedylab.com.

Jack’s Open Mic Comedy Night Open mic comedy night hosted by Myke Herlihy. Tuesdays, Thursdays, 9 pm; Jack’s Pub & Grub, 5494 Central Florida Parkway; free; 407-787-3886.

Joe Rogan Stand-up comedy from the former host of Fear Factor. Friday, 8 pm; Bob Carr Theater, 401 W. Livingston St.; $38.75-$48.75; 407-246-4262.

King of the Hill In this knockdown, drag-out comedy battle, seven professional ensemble members compete in a series of improv scenes and games to win your laughter, your applause and the coveted spot atop the hill. Saturdays, orlandoweekly.com

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props and elements that flow off the stage. Friday, 7 pm and Sunday, 9 am & noon; Northwest Community Church, 5495 Clarcona-Ocoee Road; free; 407 578 2088; gonorthwest.cc.

The Nutcracker The Russian Ballet of Orlando stages a free performance of everybody’s favorite Christmasthemed ballet. Saturday, 7 pm; Walt Disney Amphitheater, Lake Eola Park, Rosalind Avenue and Washington Street; free; 407-246-2827; russianacademyofballet.com.

Orlando Ballet: The Nutcracker This enchanting holiday favorite is the full-length production and is accompanied by the Orlando Philharmonic Orchestra. Thursday-Friday, 8 pm, Saturday 2 & 8 pm and Sunday 1 & 6:30 pm; Walt Disney Theater, 445 S. Magnolia Ave.; $41.50-$114.75; 844-5132014; drphillipscenter.org.

arT openings/events Brandon Geurts: Flesh World A new collection of oil and watercolor paintings of bodies in a constant cycle of transformation. Opens Thursday, 6 pm, through Feb. 15; Canvs, 101 S. Garland Ave.; free.

Celebrating Artistic Expression Exhibition from artists and groups celebrating artistic expression. Opens Thursday, 6 pm, through Jan. 15; CityArts Factory, 29 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-6487060; dadorlando.com.

Collecting Dust Features recent collections, performances and accompanying text-based, poetic taxonomies by interdisciplinary artist and MFA candidate Leah Sandler.

Receptions Thursday & Saturday, 7 pm, through Jan. 2; A Place Gallery, 649 N. Mills Ave.; free; cargocollective.com.

Crosswire: Connecting Art and Design Exhibit focused on the constant bond between fine art and design, featuring paintings, drawings and product design. Opens Thursday, 7 pm, through Jan. 15; CityArts Factory, 29 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-648-7060.

Squarelando A group show from pretty much every Orlando artist of work that is presented in a square aspect ratio. Everything available for purchase. Opens Thursday, 5 pm, through Jan. 15; CityArts Factory, 29 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-648-7060.

Take a Look, and You’ll See Into Your Imagination An exhibition of work by children’s book artists. Opens Thursday, 6-9 pm, through Jan. 16; The Gallery at Avalon Island, 39 S. Magnolia Ave.; free.

V Redefine Art Gallery and Little Joe’s Primrose Tattoo Parlour celebrate their mutual fifth anniversary with an exhibit cOnTInued On page 55

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showcasing the work of Primrose Tattoo artists. Opens Thursday, 6 pm, through Jan. 15; Redefine Gallery, 29 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-648-7060.

Continuing tHis week 100 Years of Hannibal Square: Historic and Contemporary Photographs of West Winter Park Exhibition Through Feb. 21, 2016; Orange County Regional History Center, 65 E. Central Blvd.; $8; 407836-8500; thehistorycenter.org.

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A Brush With Light and Sound Through Sunday; UCF Art Gallery, 12400 Aquarius Agora Drive; free; 407-823-3161; gallery.cah.ucf.edu.

C-Note Collection Through Jan. 8, 2016; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060.

Art on the Green Through March 1, 2016; Central Park, Winter Park, North Park Avenue and West Morse Boulevard, Winter Park; free; cityofwinterpark.org.

Celebrating 50 Years: Maitland Civic Center Through Jan. 3, 2016; Art & History Museums - Maitland, 231 W. Packwood Ave., Maitland; $3; 407-5392181; artandhistory.org.

Bramson & Demeter Through Dec. 31; The Hourglass Brewery, 255 S. Ronald Reagan Blvd., Longwood; free; 407-719-9874.

Enduring Documents: Selected Photographs From the Permanent Collection Through Jan. 3, 2016; Cornell Fine Arts

Museum, Rollins College, 1000 Holt Ave., Winter Park; free; 407646-2526; cfam.rollins.edu.

Esherick to Nakashima TuesdaysSundays, 10 am-5 pm; Modernism Museum Mount Dora, 145 E. Fourth Ave., Mount Dora; $8; 352-3850034; modernismmuseum.org.

Fashionable Portraits in Europe Through Jan. 3, 2016; Cornell Fine Arts Museum, Rollins College, 1000 Holt Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-646-2526; cfam.rollins.edu.

Group Show Cody Ziegler, Vanessa Andrade and more; Doubleleg Gallery, 1842 E. Winter Park Road; free.

Harold Garde: Mid-Century to This Century Through Jan. 3, 2016; Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave.; $8; 407-896-4231; omart.org.

Holiday Hoopla Through Jan. 2, 2016; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free; willspub.org.

of Fine Arts, 227 E. Kennedy Blvd., Eatonville; donations accepted; 407-647-3307; preserveeatonville.org.

Jess T. Dugan: Every Breath We Drew Through Jan. 3, 2016; Cornell Fine Arts Museum, Rollins College, 1000 Holt Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-646-2526; cfam.rollins.edu.

Kohjiro Kinno Through Feb. 11, 2016; The White Wall Gallery, 999 Douglas Ave. #2221, Altamonte Springs; free; 407-682-5343; thewhitewall.com.

La Creatura Through Jan. 16, 2016; Crealde School of Art, 600 St. Andrews Blvd., Winter Park; free; 407671-1886; crealde.org.

Live, Love, Laugh Through Jan. 31, 2016; Dandelion Communitea Cafe, 618 N. Thornton Ave.; free; 407-3621864; dandelioncommunitea.com.

Mary Whyte: A Portrait of Us Watercolors by the South Carolina artist. Through Jan.

Introducing Zora Neale Hurston Through Jan. 15, 2016; Zora Neale Hurston National Museum

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PHOTO COURTESY OF DR. PHILLIPS CENTER

[DANCE] Orlando Ballet: The Nutcracker see page 52

Animalia: Henry Horenstein Through Feb. 7, 2016; Southeast Museum of Photography, Daytona State College, Daytona Beach; free; 386-506-4475; smponline.org.

The Bride Elect – Gifts From the 1905 Wedding of Elizabeth Owens Morse Tuesdays-Saturdays, 9:30 am-4 pm and Sundays, 1-4 pm; Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art, 445 N. Park Ave., Winter Park; $5; 407-645-5311; morsemuseum.org.

British Invasion Exhibition Through Jan. 3, 2016; Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave.; $11; 407-896-4231; omart.org.

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3, 2016; Mennello Museum of American Art, 900 E. Princeton St.; $5; 407-2464278; mennellomuseum.com.

Mid-Florida Quiltmakers: Commemorations and Connections Through Jan. 18, 2016; Hannibal Square Heritage Center, 642 W. New England Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-539-2680; crealde.org.

Midway: Portrait of a Daytona Beach Neighborhood, 1943 Through Jan. 15, 2016; Yvonne Scarlett Golden Cultural & Educational Center, 1000 Vine St., Daytona Beach; free; smponline.org.

Neighborhood ‘99: Midway Revisited Through Jan. 15, 2016; Yvonne Scarlett Golden Cultural & Educational Center, 1000 Vine St., Daytona Beach; free; smponline.org.

On Assignment: Robert Snow – At Sea With OCEARCH Through Feb. 7, 2016; Southeast Museum of Photography, Daytona State College, Daytona Beach; free; 386-506-4475; smponline.org.

Sandro Chia: Fantasy and Myths Through Jan. 3, 2016; Museum of Art DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $10; 386-734-4371.

Sculptures by David Hayes Through Oct. 30, 2016; Museum of Art DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $5; 386-734-4371; moartdeland.org.

Second Nature: Brad Temkin – A Survey Through Friday; Southeast Museum of Photography, Daytona State College, Daytona Beach; free; 386-506-4475; smponline.org.

Selected Fine Art Faculty Exhibition Through Friday; Anita S. Wooten Gallery, 701 N. Econlockhatchee Trail; free; 407-582-2298; valenciacollege.edu.

Selections From the Harry C. Sigman Gift of European and American Decorative Art Tuesdays-Thursdays, Saturdays, 9:30 am-4 pm and Sundays, 1-4 pm; Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art, 445 N. Park Ave., Winter Park; $5; 407-6455311; morsemuseum.org.

Sight Unseen: Touchable Sculpture Through April 17, 2016; Albin Polasek Museum and Sculpture Gardens, 633 Osceola Ave., Winter Park; $5; 407-647-6294; polasek.org.

Small Things Considered Through Jan. 9, 2016; Arts on Douglas, 123 Douglas St., New Smyrna Beach; free; 386-428-1133.

The Sum of Many Parts: Quiltmakers in Contemporary America Through Jan. 18, 2016; Crealde School of Art, 600 St. Andrews Blvd., Winter Park; free; 407-671-1886; crealde.org.

Third Thursday Gallery Hop Thursday, 6 pm; CityArts Factory, 29 S. Orange

Ave.; free; 407-648-7060; cityartsfactory.com.

Tiffany Lamps and Lighting From the Morse Collection Through Jan. 20, 2016; Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art, 445 N. Park Ave., Winter Park; $5; 407-6455311; morsemuseum.org.

Two Points on a Plane: The Paintings of Charles Hinman Through Jan. 10, 2016; Museum of Art DeLand – Downtown, 100 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $10; 386-7344371; moartdeland.org.

Wild Is the Wind ThursdaysSaturdays, 11 am-4 pm; Snap Space, 1013 E. Colonial Drive; free; 407-555-1212; snaporlando.com.

Young Urban Art Project Sundays, 3-4:30 pm; Source of Athletics, 1468 N. Goldenrod Road; free; 786-318-6525; childofthisculture.com.

EvEnTs Behind the Knife: A Sushi Experience Learn how to make four different types of sushi rolls from Dragonfly Chef de Cuisine David Song. Champagne and hors d’oeuvres included. RSVP required. Saturday, 11:30 am; Dragonfly Modern Izakaya & Sushi, 7972 Via Dellagio Way; $60; 407-370-3359.

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Bluegrass, Bourbon and BBQ All-you-can-eat ribs, brisket, sausages, smoked turkey, pulled pork sliders, smoked wings, sides, desserts and three signature bourbon cocktails.

Live bluegrass from Slickwood.

Wednesday, 5-9 pm; The Porch, 643 N. Orange Ave., Winter Park; $30-$35; 407-571-9101; theporchwinterpark.com.

Central Florida Mystical Fair Featuring healers, artists, musicians, dancers, new age products, metaphysical experts, relevant non-profit organizations, professional groups, local community groups and wellness resources.

Saturday, 10 am-7 pm; Mead Garden, 1300 S. Denning Drive, Winter Park; free; 561-3258640; holisticauthority.org.

[EVENT] Soul Shakedown: James Brown Holiday Jam see page 49

Christmas at Gaylord Palms Holiday displays including over 2 million twinkling lights and larger-than-life decorations, visits with Santa, Cirque Dreams UnWrapped live show, ICE! featuring ‘Twas the Night

Before Christmas, Alpine Rush snow tubing and more. Through Jan. 3, 2016, 10 am-8 pm; Gaylord Palms Resort, 6000 W. Osceola Parkway, Kissimmee; $28.99-$44.99; 407-586-4423; christmasatgaylordpalms.com.

Christmas at the Leu House Local interior designers deck the halls of the Leu House Museum. The 11-room estate is adorned with holiday trimmings, Christmas trees and unique decorations to inspire visitors. Through Jan. 4, 2016, 10 am-4 pm; Harry P. Leu Gardens, 1920 N. Forest Ave.; $10; 407246-2620; leugardens.org.

Christmas Light Ride Take a bike ride through Ivanhoe Village and College Park to take in the great lights displays. Saturday, 7 pm; Retro City Cycles, 1806 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-895-2700.

Drink Around the Hood Sample drinks while checking out the funky-cool lakeside bars, restaurants, boutiques and venues in Ivanhoe Village. Wednesday, 6:30 pm; Ivanhoe Village

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Main Street, Orange Avenue between New Hampshire and Princeton streets; $10-$15.

Get Your Jazz On Holiday Concert Enjoy an open bar and award-winning roasted chicken and smoked pig while the Jazz Professors play versions of holiday songs. Friday, 6-9 pm; The Alfond Inn, 300 E. New England Ave., Winter Park; SOLD OUT; 407-998-8090.

Holiday Antiques Fair Pick up some last-minute gifts for the antique-lover on your list. Saturday-Sunday, 9 am; Renninger’s Antique Center, 20651 U.S. Highway 441, Mount Dora; free; 352383-8393; renningers.net.

Holiday Happy Hours Enjoy complimentary cocktails while shopping for everybody on your naughty list.

Friday, 7-9 pm; Fairvilla Adult Mega Store, 1740 N. Orange Blossom Trail; free; 407425-6005; fairvilla.com.

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Holiday Home Tour at Pinewood Estate The 20-room, Mediterranean-style mansion is decorated by volunteers and sponsored designers with this year’s design theme: To Grandfather’s House We Go! Includes admission to Bok Tower Gardens. Through Jan. 3, 2016, 10 am-5 pm; Bok Tower Gardens, 1151 Tower Blvd., Lake Wales; $20; 863-6761408; boktowergardens.org.

Illuminated Boat Parade Sanford’s lighted parade of boats to celebrate the holiday season. Saturday, 6 pm; Memorial Park, Lake Munro, 531 N. Palmetto Ave., Sanford; free.

La Fée Dragée Bottle Release La Fée Dragée is a beer modeled after sugarplum candies befitting any holiday occasion. Saturday, 11 am; The Hourglass Brewery, 255 S. Ronald Reagan Blvd., Longwood; $18; 407-719-9874; thehourglassbrewery.com.

Light Up UCF Winter carnival with ice skating, pictures with Santa, rides, games, movies and more. Prices for activities vary. Through Jan. 3, 2016; CFE Arena, 12777 N. Gemini Blvd.; free-$19.95; 407-823-6006.

Orlando Facial Hair Club Holiday Party Bring a $20-value wrapped gift and participate in the gift exchange.

Saturday, 6 pm; World of Beer - Downtown Orlando, 431 E. Central Blvd.; free.

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Red Cypress Brewery’s Ugly Sweater Party Holiday party with live music, food and an ugly sweater contest. Saturday, 6 pm; Red Cypress Brewery, 855 E. State Road 434, Winter Springs; free; 407-542-0341; redcypressbrewery.com.

Redlight Saves Christmas Local vendors like VSOM, Bamapana, Jillian Says and more set up shop to provide you with an easy way to complete your last-minute shopping. Thursday, 6-9 pm; Redlight Redlight, 2810 Corrine Drive; free; 407-893-9832; redlightredlight beerparlour.com.

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Present Legends A mix of spectacular stunts, clowns, animals, dance and music. Wednesday 11:30 am & 3:30 pm, Thursday, 1 & 5 pm and Friday 1 pm; Amway Center, 400 W. Church St.; $16-$75; 800-745-3000.

Rydes Pedicab App Launch Party Launch of a pedicab app with over $1000 in prizes, free shots and drinks, $300 worth of Wall Street gift cards and over $500 in free pedicab ride vouchers.

Friday, 8 pm; Sideshow, 15 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407409-2497; wallstplaza.net.

Star Wars Awakening Show A night of Star Wars-inspired art and dance, featuring a Slave Leia costume contest, alien creatures, trivia challenges and more. Saturday, 7 pm; Red

Lion Pub, 3784 Howell Branch Road, Winter Park; $10; 407677-9669; redlionpub.org.

Star Wars Release Party A Star Wars party with a costume contest, fun trivia and a giveaway of 10 tickets to the midnight release that night. Thursday, 6 pm; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; free; 407-636-3171; copperrocketpub.com.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Party A Star Wars costume contest, exclusive food and drink specials and Star Wars all night. Friday, 6 pm; Cloak and Blaster, 875 Woodbury Road; free; cloakandblaster.com.

Taste of Puerto Rico Enjoy bites of Puerto Rican cuisine while listening to famous cuatro players. Sunday, noon; Festival Park, 2911 E. Robinson St.; $3-$5; 407-381-5310.

Tasty Tuesdays Food trucks take over the parking lot behind the Milk District every Tuesday evening. Tuesdays, 6:30-10 pm; The Milk District, East Robinson Street and North Bumby Avenue; various menu prices; facebook.com/ tastytuesdaysorlando.

Ten10 Art Market An art market with live music, food, and beers from Ten10 Brewing. Sunday, 12-5 pm; Ten10 Brewing, 1010 Virginia Drive; free; 407-9308993; ten10brewing.com.

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[THEATER] A Tuna Christmas see page 50

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Ugly Sweater Party The worst sweater wins gift certificates and prizes. Sound Theory performs. Friday, 8 pm; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; $5; 407-6363171; copperrocketpub.com.

Un-Corporate Holiday Party Startup Grind Orlando, Catalyst Spaces and the Heroes Group host a holiday party for startups and entrepreneurs that lack the perk of a traditional corporate party. Wednesday, 5:30 pm; Catalyst, 1 S. Orange Ave.; $5-$15; 407-906-4376; catalystspaces.com.

PHOTO CREDIT: SOUTHERN WINDS THEATRE

Winter in the Park Enjoy ice skating in the middle of Winter Park. Fridays, 3-10 pm, Saturdays, 10 am-10 pm, Sundays, 12-8 pm and Mondays-Thursdays, 3-9 pm; Central Park’s West Meadow, North Park Avenue and West Morse Boulevard, Winter Park; $12; cityofwinterpark.org.

Winter Park Farmers Market Popular weekly farmers market in heart of Winter Park.

Saturdays, 7 am-1 pm; Winter Park Farmers Market, 200 W. New England Ave., Winter Park; free; cityofwinterpark.org.

Wonderland Discover gifts for the holidays handmade by the creative local community. Holiday shopping and party with live music, great people and wonderful vibes. Friday, 6 pm-

midnight; True Serenity, 1100 Montana St.; free; 407-9821333; mytrueserenity.com.

LEarning Coffee & Commuting Network with the area’s transportation experts from SunRail, LYNX, Juice Bikes and reThink while learning about your commute options. Coffee and continental breakfast provided. Thursday, 7-10 am; Winter Park City Hall, 401 S. Park Ave., Winter Park; free; rethinkyourcommute.com.

LiTErary Book Launch & Conversation With Linda L. Dunlap Release of Dunlap’s short story collection Rail Walking.

Wednesday, 6-8 pm; Writer’s Block Bookstore, 124 E. Welbourne Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-385-7084; writersblockbookstore.com.

The Bowery Shadows: Patti Smith Reading Megan Faubel, Ashley Inguanta and Lisa Bugayong read works by Patti Smith with musical accompaniment

by Unbliterati. Wednesday, 9 pm; The Parkview, 136 S. Park Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-647-9103; facebook. com/theparkviewwp.

Literocalypse Second Anniversary Readings and performances to celebrate the series’ second birthday. Thursday, 9 pm; The Space Station, 2539 Coolidge Ave.; free.

Poetry Slam & Holiday Gift Exchange Competitive poetry slam and holiday party. Thursday, 8 pm; The Milk Bar, 2424 E. Robinson St.; free; 407-896-4954.

Science Fiction Open House Hosted by writers Elle E. Ire and Jose Iriarte and Bram Stoker Award-winning author Usman Tanveer Malik.

Thursday, 6:30-8:30 pm; Writer’s Block Bookstore, 124 E. Welbourne Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-335-4192; writersblockbookstore.com.

FamiLy Friday Family Films A short film, and a tour of an art project and gallery at Morse.

Reservation required. Fridays, 10 am; Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art, 445 N. Park Ave., Winter Park; $5; 406-645-5311 ext. 136.

Kidz Bop: Make Some Noise Holiday Tour The Kidz Bop Kids perform holiday classics in addition to favorites from the best-selling Kidz Bop series. Sunday, 6-8 pm; House of Blues, Downtown Disney West Side, Lake Buena Vista; $25-$62; 407-9342583; hob.com/orlando.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Musical You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. cOnTInued On page 64

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[SPORTS] Santa Run 5K see this page

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sporTs But do you recall the most famous reindeer of all? Saturdays, Sundays, 2 & 5:30 pm; Orlando Repertory Theatre, 1001 E. Princeton St.; $14-$20; 407896-7365; orlandorep.com.

Season’s Blessings Community members receive free services from sponsors within the vendor circle, including groceries, hot food, clothing, cosmetology and barbering and a toy and school supply giveaway.

Saturday, 9 am-1 pm; John H. Jackson Community Center, 1002 W. Carter St.; free; 407601-6444; eccorlando.com.

Star Wars Holiday With Stormtrooper Klaus Stormtrooper Klaus visits the shop to hand out special gifts from the Empire. Wednesday, 6-8 pm; Acme Comics Cards & Collectibles, 905 E. State Road 434, Longwood; free; 407-331-0433.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Party Wagon All four turtles and Casey Jones visit the shop in the Turtles Party Wagon to take pics and sign autographs.

Friday, 2-8 pm; Acme Comics Cards & Collectibles, 905 E. State Road 434, Longwood; free; 407-331-0433.

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AutoNation Cure Bowl: Georgia State Panthers vs.

San Jose State Spartans Funds raised by the game are donated to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Saturday, 7 pm; Orlando Citrus Bowl, 1 Citrus Bowl Place; $22-$250; 407423-2476; curebowl.com.

B3 Runners Group Multiple distances and skill levels with beer after. Wednesdays, 6:25 pm; Bikes Beans & Bordeaux, 3022 Corrine Drive; free; 407-427-1440; bikesbeansandbordeaux.com.

The Orlando (Afternoon) Shuffle Free shuffleboard event. Equipment provided.

Saturday, 3-5 pm; Beardall Senior Center, 800 S. Delaney Ave.; free; 407-230-5356.

Orlando Magic vs. Atlanta Hawks Basketball. Sunday, 6 pm; Amway Center, 400 W. Church St.; $11.25$1,212.50; 800-745-3000; amwaycenter.com.

Orlando Magic vs. Charlotte Hornets Basketball.

Wednesday, 7 pm; Amway Center, 400 W. Church St.; $14.25-$1,037.50; 800-745-3000.

Orlando Magic vs. Portland Trail Blazers Basketball.

Friday, 7 pm; Amway Center, 400 W. Church St.; $12.25$1,212.50; 800-745-3000; amwaycenter.com.

Santa Run 5K Take a run around Moss Park to help raise money for Orange County Parks.

Sunday, 5:30-8 pm; Moss Park, 12901 Moss Park Road; $20; orangecountyparks.net.

UCF Knights vs. BethuneCookman Wildcats Mens basketball. Tuesday, 7 pm; CFE Arena, 12777 N. Gemini Blvd.; $10-$25; 407-823-6006.

UCF Knights vs. Oklahoma State Cowgirls Womens basketball. Tuesday, 1 pm; CFE Arena, 12777 N. Gemini Blvd.; $5; 407-823-6006.

UFC Fight Night Rafael dos Anjos vs. Donald Cerrone, Saturday, 3:30 pm; Amway Center, 400 W. Church St.; $50-$250; 800-745-3000; amwaycenter.com.

Yoga in Lake Eola Park This yoga group meets near Panera Bread, or at the northwest corner by the amphitheater. Everyone is welcome.

Sundays, 11 am; Lake Eola Park, 195 N. Rosalind Ave.; $5 suggested donation. n

By R o B B R E ZS N y

ARIES (March 21-April 19) The Neanderthals were a different human species that co-existed with our ancestors, homo sapiens, for at least 5,000 years. But they eventually died out while our people thrived. Why? One reason, says science writer Marcus Chown, is that we alone invented sewing needles. Our newborn babies had wellmade clothes to keep them warm and healthy through frigid winters.

Neanderthal infants, covered with ill-fitting animal skins, had a lower survival rate. Chown suggests that although this provided us with a mere 1 percent survival advantage, that turned out to be significant. I think you’re ready to find and use a small yet ultimately crucial edge like that over your competitors.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Artist Robert Barry created 30 Pieces, an installation that consisted of pieces of paper on which he had typed the following statement: “Something which is very near in place and time, but not yet known to me.” According to my reading of the astrological omens, this theme captures the spirit of the phase you’re now entering. But I think it will evolve in the coming weeks. First it’ll be “Something which is very near in place and time, and is becoming known to me.” By mid-January it could turn into “Something which is very near and dear, and has become known to me.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) “There is in every one of us, even those who seem to be most moderate, a type of desire that is uncanny, wild, and lawless.” Greek philosopher Plato wrote that in his book The Republic, and I’m bringing it to your attention just in time for your Season of Awakening and Deepening Desire. The coming days will be a time when you can, if you choose, more fully tune in to the uncanny, wild and lawless aspects of your primal yearnings.

But wait a minute! I’m not suggesting you should immediately take action to gratify them. For now, just feel them and observe them.

Find out what they have to teach you. Wait until the new year before you consider the possibility of expressing them.

lulu E ig ht B a l l

By EMily FlaKE

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) The coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to consort with hidden depths and unknown riches.

In every way you can imagine, I urge you to go deeper down and further in. Cultivate a more conscious connection with the core resources you sometimes take for granted. This is one time when delving into the darkness can lead you to pleasure and treasure. As you explore, keep in mind this advice from author T. Harv Eker: “In every forest, on every farm, in every orchard on earth, what’s under the ground creates what’s above the ground. That’s why placing your attention on the fruits you have already grown is futile. You can’t change the fruits that are already hanging on the tree. But you can change tomorrow’s fruits. To do so, you will have to dig below the ground and strengthen the roots.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) In the coming weeks, the pursuit of pleasure could drain your creative powers, diminish your collaborative possibilities and wear you out. But it’s also possible that the pursuit of pleasure will enhance your creative powers, synergize your alliances and lead you to new opportunities. Which way will you go? It all depends on the kinds of pleasures you pursue.

The dumb, numbing, mediocre type will shrink your soul. The smart, intriguing, invigorating variety will expand your mind. Got all that?

Say “hell, no” to trivializing decadence so you can say, “wow, yes” to uplifting bliss.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Garnets are considered less valuable than diamonds. But out in the wild, there’s an intimate connection between these two gemstones. Wherever you find garnets near the surface of the earth, you can be reasonably sure that diamonds are buried deeper down in the same location. Let’s use this relationship as a metaphor for your life. I suspect you have recently chanced upon a metaphorical version of garnets, or will do so soon. Maybe you should make plans to search for the bigger treasure towards which they point the way.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Ready for the Cool Anger Contest? You can earn maximum points by expressing your dissatisfaction in ways that generate the most constructive transformations. Bonus points will be awarded for your ability to tactfully articulate complicated feelings, as well as for your emotionally intelligent analyses that inspire people to respond empathetically rather than defensively. What are the prizes? First CANCER (June 21-July 22) Congratulations! You have broken prize is a breakthrough in your relationship with an ally who could be all your previous records for doing boring tasks that are good for crucial to your expansion in 2016. Second prize is a liberation from you. In behalf of the other 11 signs, I thank you for your heroic, if one of your limiting beliefs. unexciting, campaign of self-improvement. You have not only purified your emotional resources and cleared out some breathing AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) A fourth-century monk room for yourself, but you have also made it easier for people to help named Martin was a pioneer wine-maker in France. He founded the you and feel close to you. Your duty has not yet been completed, Marmoutier Abbey and planted vineyards on the surrounding land. however. There are a few more details to take care of before the gods According to legend, Martin’s donkey had a crucial role in lifting of healthy tedium will be finished with you. But start looking for signs viticulture out of its primitive state. Midway through one growing of your big chance to make a break for freedom. They’ll arrive soon. season, the beast escaped its tether and nibbled on a lot of the LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) The English word “fluke” means “lucky grapevines. All the monks freaked out, fearing that the crop was stroke.” It was originally used in the game of billiards when a player wrecked. But ultimately the grapes grew better than they had in made a good shot that he or she wasn’t even trying to accomplish. previous years, and the wine they produced was fabulous. Thus was Later its definition expanded to include any fortuitous event that born the practice of pruning, which became de rigueur for all grapehappens by chance rather than because of skill: good fortune growers. What’s your equivalent of Martin’s donkey? I bet it’ll exert generated accidentally. I suspect that you are about to be the its influence very soon. beneficiary of what may seem to be a series of flukes. In at least one case, though, your lucky break will have been earned by the steady PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) “The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important,” said educator John Dewey. work you’ve done without any fanfare.

If that’s true, Pisces, you are on the verge of having your deepest VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You may not have to use a literal urge fulfilled more than it has in a long time. The astrological crowbar in the coming weeks, but this rough tool will serve you well alignments suggest that you are reaching the peak of your value as a metaphor. Wherever you go, imagine that you’ve got one with to other people. You’re unusually likely to be seen and appreciated you. Why? It’s time to jimmy open glued-shut portals … to pry loose and acknowledged for who you really are. If you have been mental blocks … to coax unyielding influences to budge … to nudge underestimating your worth, I doubt you will be able to continue intransigent people free of their fixations. Anything that is stuck or doing so. Here’s your homework: Take a realistic inventory of the jammed needs to get unstuck or unjammed through the power of ways your life has had a positive impact on the lives of people you have known. your willful intervention.

Looking for a friend who will give you unconditional love? Meet Chloe (a337304), a sweet 1-year-old dog who was recently found as a stray near Apopka Boulevard. Chloe is a little shy at first, but once she spends some time with you, her loving personality shines through. Chloe has tested positive for heartworm disease, but please learn more about treatment options from your veterinarian before passing her up as your next pet. All adoption fees are currently $12 at Orange County Animal Services. The adoption fee includes sterilization, vaccinations and a pet microchip. Visit orange County animal Services (2769 Conroy road, ocnetpets.com) to meet Chloe and remember: adopt, don’t shop. orlandoweekly.com

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DEC. 16-22, 2015

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B Y D A N S AVA G E I’m a straight 26-year-old man in a happy, monogamous relationship with my fiancée. I was always vanilla, but she enjoys rougher sex and light bondage. We’ve incorporated some of this into our sex lives, and we are both happy with how fun it is.

She has expressed interest in a rape fantasy. Both of us want to be safe when we do this, and we trust each other completely. But I can’t think of a way to give her the experience she desires while still maintaining a safe dynamic. How I can help act out her fantasy in such a way that we both have fun?

Seeking Erotic Advice Now

You and the fiancée are obviously capable of communicating about varsity-level sex play.

Now you just have to use the same interpersonal skills that made your past kinky fuckfests possible to negotiate and realize your girlfriend’s edgy-butthoroughly common fantasy.

I recommend reading “Rape Fantasy: How to Carry It Out Safely,” a long and thoughtful post at Slut Lessons (slutlessons.wordpress.com), an engaging sex blog that’s sadly no longer being updated. The first recommendation from Educated Slut, the site’s anonymous author: Maybe we shouldn’t call them “rape fantasies” at all.

“A rape fantasy is almost invariably more about forced sex and not a desire to actually BE raped by someone,” writes Educated Slut. “Very few people have the desire to be put through the physical and emotional trauma of a real rape. This is the primary reason I refer to this as ‘forced sex fantasy’ rather than rape fantasy; it just gives the wrong impression to some people.”

You seem to be under the impression that there’s something more dangerous about realizing/role-playing your way through a forced-sex scenario. And it may be more dangerous and/or triggering on an emotional level, but slapping the label “rape fantasy” on rough(er) sex shouldn’t result in you having some sort of out-of-body experience that leads you to go apeshit on your helpless fiancée. Talk things through in advance, just like you have before, agree on a safe word and take it slow the first few times you go for it.

I’m a single straight guy and this is probably going to sound really stupid, but … I basically stumbled over the cuckold fetish and I can’t get it out of my mind. I’ve tried to stay away from it because I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to feel like garbage after enjoying porn. But I can’t get it out of my head. It’s worrying, since I fear that one day it might end up spoiling things when I fall in love with someone since I’m a bit of a jealous person.

The idea of a cheating woman is really hot in spite of all of that. But there’s this lingering feeling of disgust surrounding the whole thing. Is it possible to have a fetish you hate?

Baffled About Romantic Future

Don’t you just hate it when someone leaves a fetish sitting on the steps and then you come along and stumble over it and – bam! – you fall and hit your head and when you come to you’ve got a brand-new fetish?

Yeah, no. We don’t know exactly where people’s fetishes and kinks come from, but we can safely

say that people don’t stumble into their fetishes.

Forgive me for being a pedantic asshole, BARF – I’m sure you didn’t mean you literally stumbled over a cuckold. But misinformed, sex-negative, kink-negative pornophobes routinely talk about fetishes and kinks like a moment’s exposure can transform an innocent person with vanilla tastes into a horned-up, slobbering, gimp-outfit-wearing kink monster. And that’s not the way it happens.

So what did happen to you, BARF? You found some cuckold porn online, and your dick said: “DUDE. THIS IS IT. THIS IS WHAT WE’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR. RUN WITH THIS.” Your particular kink was already in there somewhere, already rattling around in your erotic subconscious.

On to your question: Yes, you can have a fetish you don’t want to act on because the fantasy can’t be realized for moral or ethical reasons (it involves children, nonconsensual acts, Donald Trump) or because you’re fairly certain doing so would suck for emotional or physical reasons (potentially traumatizing, physically dangerous, Donald Trump).

But if your only issue with your kink is a lingering feeling of disgust, that feeling may diminish the more time you spend thinking/jacking about your newly revealed kink. Time will determine if your feelings of disgust are merely your run-of-the-mill, beneficial-to-overcome kink negativity or if they’re a sign cuckolding should remain a go-to masturbatory fantasy for you, without ever become a cheating-woman reality.

I’ve been dating a girl for a while, and I take our relationship seriously. Sometimes sex is a little difficult because of her pubic hair. She shaves it close to the labia, which is right where my cock is going in and out, and it’s very prickly. I don’t mean lightly prickly – it’s like a bunch of wooden chopsticks have been filed down and shaped into a cylinder, and I’ve been asked to let them clench my dick. I brought it up once and tried to gently suggest a waxing or letting the hair grow back. She didn’t want to talk about it. I get it: Nobody likes having their genital area critiqued. But the problem keeps recurring. I understand that I don’t really have the right to dictate her grooming habits. And if waxing is out of the question for her, how can I suggest that maybe there are other solutions?

Seeks Counsel Regarding Agonizing Penile Exfoliation

The only solution is your girlfriend letting her pubic hair grow back permanently, SCRAPE, since waxed labia will eventually become stubblecovered labia. Here’s how you suggest letting those pubes grow back: Start by letting your girlfriend know you’re aware that women have had to endure millennia of misogynistic/religious garbage about their genitals – but you shouldn’t have to silently endure painful sex because that garbage has made discussing her choices around genital grooming unnecessarily fraught. This isn’t about appearance or preferences or clashing philosophies about pubic grooming. You’re in pain.

Address the matter directly.

On the Lovecast, Peter Staley on the benefits and dangers of PrEP: savagelovecast.com.

mail@savagelove.net 66

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 16-22, 2015

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NOTICE OF PUBLIC AUCTION FOR MONIES DUE ON STORAGE LOCKERS LOCATED AT UHAUL COMPANY FACILITIES. STORAGE LOCATIONS AND TIMES ARE LISTED BELOW. ALL GOODS SOLD ARE HOUSEHOLD CONTENTS, MISCELLANEOUS OR RECOVERED GOODS. ALL AUCTIONS ARE HELD TO SATISFY OWNER’S LIEN FOR RENT AND FEES IN ACCORDANCE WITH FLORIDA STATUTES, SELF STORAGE ACT, SECTIONS 83.806 AND 83.807, STARTS AT 8 am and RUNS CONTINUOUSLY. Uhaul Ctr Kirkman-600 S Kirkman RdOrlando 01/06/16: 2034 Katrina Edwards, 5032 Shanelle Stone, 6048 Melissa Miller, 8014 Roger Maccellan, 8017 Helen Hill, 8023 Fran Soto, 8026 Fabiana Antos Singnoreti Uhaul Ctr Orange Ave- 3500 S Orange Ave-Orlando 01/06/16: 1040 Recovery AV2229C Christopher Coonce, 1105 Jacqueline Jeune, 1431 Recovery BE4866Y Dyron Bruno, 1809 Tonya Dockery, 2302 Atira Richards Uhaul Ctr Baldwin Park- 4001 E Colonial Drive-Orlando 01/06/16: C108 Walter Cabral, C126-27 Mark Cole, C168 Christyna Mcbrayer, D192 David Mcdonald, D203 Jake Ellis, D209 Tonia Ahmed Uhaul Ctr Goldenrod-508 N Goldenrod Rd-Orlando 01/06/16: 528 Ciara Solomon Uhaul Ctr Alafaya-11815 E Colonial DrOrlando 01/06/16:1120 Ashley Durham, 1432 Cheyann Delgado, 1511 Michelle Bono, 1704 Julian Rivero.

NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE PERSONAL PROPERTY OF THE FOLLOWING TENANTS WILL BE SOLD FOR CASH TO SATISFY RENTAL LIENS IN ACCORDANCE WITH FLORIDA STATUTES, SELF STORAGE FACILITY ACT, SECTIONS 83.806 AND 83.807. CONTENTS MAY INCLUDE KITCHEN, HOUSEHOLD ITEMS, BEDDING, TOYS, GAMES, PACKED CARTONS, FURNITURE, TOOLS, TRUCKS, CARS, ETC. THERE’S NO TITLE FOR VEHICLES SOLD AT LIEN SALE. OWNERS RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BID ON UNITS. LIEN SALE TO BE HELD ON THE PREMISES WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 30, 2015 AT LOCATIONS & TIMES INDICATED BELOW. VIEWING WILL BE AT THE TIME OF THE SALE ONLY. PERSONAL MINI STORAGE FORSYTH - 2875 FORSYTH RD. WINTER PARK, FL 32792 - AT 10:00AM: #211-Evutch, Natasha; #222-Gomez, Mauricio; #236-Porter, David; #300-Ramirez Jr-Wilfredo; #390-Lincoln, James; #391-Scharfetter, Derek; #399-Myers, Andrew; #468-Bell-Jamel De’Leon; #470-Bennett, Rohan; #475-Gray, Keisha; #488-Hays, Gwendolyn;#531-Love, Amber Rose; #577-Snell Jr, William; #582-Kranwinkel Marquez, Arlen; #935A- Folowoshele, Rachael vin #4T1VK13E9PUO50262; B1-Padilla, Anthony vin#LHJGLKBRXEB600002, vin#LYDTCKPH481201385;C2-Nevarez MICHIGAN MINI STORAGE - 200 W. MICHIGAN ST ORLANDO, FL 32806 - AT 10:30AM: #59 Mirta Jean; #82 Jeremy Karsen; #208 James Jones 111 PERSONAL MINI STORAGE LAKE FAIRVIEW - 4252 N ORANGE BLOSSOM TR. ORLANDO FL 32804 - AT 11:30AM: #55 Michael C Gallagher; #67 Veranicia D Lima; #68 Maria Soto; #76 Jeremy Johnson; #85 Jonathan Gonzalez Ortiz; #135 James Daniel Harris; #172 Antwan J Baily; #192 Englebert Bourne; #238 James Peak; #248 Dennis E Burnett; #293 Quidry Drashawin Young; #298 Damon Brissett; #328 Kristopher Kyle Bekemeyer; #331 Ashley Pivowar; #451 Matthew Jason Petty; #614 Mark Whipple II; #667 Olga M Idelfonso; #847 Lejerian Mwaquis Payne; #864 Cathy Martoccio; #918 Jasmine Leila Andrews; # 926 Chanel Shacahn Wright Hollinshead PERSONAL MINI STORAGE WEST - 4600 OLD WINTER GARDEN RD. ORLANDO FL 32811 AT 12:00PM: #95-Crystal G Mitchell; #98-Denise S Sims; #125-Kim T Woodliff; #126-Aisha A Snow; #137-Sherika T Clark; #151-Jemyker Nesmon; #155-Rosie Kendrick; #203-Metro Sports Miguel Rodriguez; #204-Terry Allen Beden; #260-Santiago Manzanares Uresti; #327-Vergenia F Hair; #407-Jualandra V Davis Jr;#408Cynthia C Pressley; #461-Reginal S McKinney; #462-Shawn L Hair; #471-Arika R Frazier;#479-James L Bibbs; #483-Dana A Delaine; #484-Julia M Harden; #485-Julia M Harden;#528-Joyce E Hensley-Adams; #534-Marjorie B Robinson; #537-Jennifer J Yon; #616-Sheron Y McGee; #618-Monique A Charles; #637-Eric T McBride.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY STATE OF FLORIDA JUVENILE DIVISION: 7/Latimore CASE NO.: DP14-464 IN THE INTEREST OF:K.B. DOB: 04/03/2009, Minor Child.

SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF TPR ADVISORY HEARING STATE OF FLORIDA TO:Tineka Stanley Address Unknown A Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above referenced child(ren), a copy of which is attached.

You are to appear on January 14, 2016, at 2:30 p.m. at the Thomas S. Kirk Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, FL 32806, before honorable Judge, Daniel P. Dawson, for a TPR Advisory. You must appear on the date and time specified. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THESE CHILD(REN). IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILDREN NAMED IN THE PETITION ATTACHED TO THIS NOTICE. IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR YOU MAY BE HELD IN CONTEMPT OF COURT.The mother/father are hereby advised, pursuant to §63.802(6)(g), Florida Statutes, that a parent whose rights have not yet been terminated has the right to seek a private adoptive placement for the child(ren), and to participate in a private adoption plan, through an adoption entity as defined in §63.032, Florida Statutes.

As required by §63.165, Florida Statutes, the Department further gives notice of the existence and purpose of a state registry of adoption information. The purpose of the Florida Adoption Reunion Registry is to reunite persons separated by adoption where both parties seek such reunion.

Persons affected by an adoption may list themselves and their contact information on the registry. Registration is completely voluntary. Additional information is available at http://adoptflorida.com/ReunionRegistry.htm. Contact information for the registry is as follows: Florida Adoption Reunion Registry, Florida Department of Children and Families,1317 Winewood Blvd., Tallahassee, Florida 32399-0700.

If you are a person with a disability who needs any accommodation to participate in this proceeding, you are entitled, at no cost to you, to the provision of certain assistance. Please contact Court Administration, 425 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801, telephone 407-836-2303 within two working days of your receipt of this summons. If you are hearing or voice impaired, call 1-800-955-8771. Witness my hand and seal of this court at Orlando, Orange County Florida on this 19th day of November, 2015. CLERK OF COURT By: /s/ Deputy Clerk Jill Fowler, Esquire, Florida Bar No.: 0045276, Senior Attorney for Children’s Legal Services, State of Florida, Department of Children and Families, 400 West Robinson Street, Suite N211, Orlando, FL 32801, (407) 317-7417 - Telephone (407) 317-7126 - Fax. Notice of Public Sale: Pursuant to F.S. 713.78 on January 1, 2016 at 9:00 am, Riker’s Roadside Services, LLC, 630 E Landstreet Rd, Orlando, FL 32824, will sell the following vehicles and/or vessels. Seller reserves the right to bid. Sold as is, no warranty. Seller guarantees no title, terms cash. Seller reserves the right to refuse any or all bids; 1997 Cadillac, Vin#1G6KD54Y0VU263022; 1981 Chevrolet, Vin#1GCG34M2B1191934; 1999 Chevrolet, Vin#1GNDM19W5XB112978; 2013 Volkswagen, Vin#1VWAH7A33DC150264; 1992 GMC, Vin#1GTDC14K0NZ505520; 2008 Toyota, Vin#JTDKB20U587706143; 1992 Lexus, Vin#JT8VK13T2N0088955; 2004 Lincoln, Vin#5LMFU27R44LJ01862; 2003 Chevrolet, Vin#3GNFK16Z43G241941; 2001 Lexus, Vin#JT8BD69S910126930; 1999 GMC, Vin#1GKCS13W9Y2222926; 2008 Ford, Vin#1FTNE14W08DA76995; 2002 Nissan, Vin#1N4AL11D32C155975; 1996 KIA, Vin#KNDJB7238T5521845.

Citation by publication Divorce The State of Texas TO: Lizzie Nicholas, and to all whom it may concern, Respondent GREETINGS: You have been sued. You may employ an attorney. If you or your attorney do not file a written answer with the clerk who issued this citation by 10:00am Monday next following expiration of twenty (20) days after you were served this citation and petition, a default judgment may be taken against you. Said answer may be filed by mailing same to: District Clerk’s Office, 301 Jackson, Richmond, Texas 77469, or by bringing it to the office. Our street address is 1422 Eugene Hiemann Circle, Richmond, TX 77469. We are located on the first floor of the Justice Center building. The: ORIGINAL PETITION FOR DIVORCE AND REQUEST FOR DISCLOSURE OF NICK JOSEPH FRANK, was filed in the 387th Judicial District Court of Fort Bend County, Texas May 19, 2015 against LIZZIE NICHOLAS, being numbered 15-DCV223557, and entitled IN THE MATTER OF THE MARRIAGE OF NICK JOSEPH FRANK AND IN THE INTEREST OF AUSTIN SONNY FRANK, MICHELLE VANESSA FRANK, TIFFANY GABRIELLA FRANK, MINOR CHILDREN. The suit requests DIVORCE. The court has authority in this suit to enter any judgment or decree dissolving the marriage and providing for the division of property which will be binding on you.The court has authority in this suit to enter any judgment or decree in the children(ren)’s interest which will be binding upon you, including the termination of the parentchild relationship, the determination of paternity and the appointment of a conservator with authority to consent to the child(ren)’s adoption. Issued and given under my hand and seal of the said Court at Richmond, Texas, on this the 14th day of September, 2015. DISTRICT CLERK ANNIE REBECCA ELLIOTT, Fort Bend County Texas, BY/s/ Ana Alas, Deputy District Clerk, Telephone (281) 633-7661, Petitioner’s Attorney: THOMAS A. MARTIN, ATTORNEY AT LAW, 1018 PRESTON SUITE 500, HOUSTON TX 77002, 713-222-0556.

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Notice of Publication of Fictitious Name NOTICE is hereby given that the undersigned,Creative Ingenuity LLC, of 14900 E Orange Lake Blvd Unit 236, Kissimmee, FL 34747, pursuant to the requirements of the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations, is hereby advertising the following fictitious name: Menufina It is the intent of the undersigned to register “Menufina” with the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations. Dated: December 10th, 2015

NOTICE OF SALE The following vehicles will be auctioned at A Reliable Towing, 2500 Forsyth Rd F7, Orlando FL 32807 on December 31st, 2015 at 9:00am: 00 Nissan vin: 1N4DL01D1YC156767; 79 Pontiac vin: 2S87A9L144997; 99 Ford vin: 1FAFP53U2XA214984.

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DEC. 16-22, 2015

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Legal, Public Notices IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA JUVENILE DIVISION: 03 CASE NO: DP13-279 IN THE INTEREST OF: J. E. DOB: 10/05/2012, A MINOR CHILD SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS AND GUARDIANSHIP STATE OF FLORIDA TO: Emmanuel Echevarria, Address Unknown A Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above referenced child. You are to appear before the Honorable Tim Shea, Circuit Judge, on Tuesday, January 19, 2016, at 1:30 p.m., at the Thomas S. Kirk Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, FL 32806 for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and time specified.

FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THIS CHILD. IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS TO THE CHILD NAMED IN THE PETITION ATTACHED TO THIS NOTICE. IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR YOU MAY BE HELD IN CONTEMPT OF COURT. If you are a person with a disability who needs any accommodation in order to participate in a court proceeding or event, you are entitled, at no cost to you, to the provision of certain assistance. Please contact Orange County, ADA Coordinator, Human Resources, Orange County Courthouse, 425 N. Orange Avenue, Suite 510, Orlando, Florida, (407) 836-2303, fax: 407-836-2204.

If you are hearing or voice impaired, call 711 to reach the Telecommunications Relay Service. This summons has been issued at the request of: Brittany Nesmith, Esquire, Children’s Legal Services, brittany. nesmith@myflfamilies.com. CLERK OF COURT BY: /s/ DEPUTY CLERK. NOTICE OF SALE The following vehicles will be sold at Public Auction for cash to satisfy lien pursuant to F.S. 713.78 on January 5, 2016 at 9:00 am at Dynamic Towing, 6408 Old Cheney Hwy., Orlando, FL. 407-273-5880 1998 TOYO 4T1BG22K8WU389532 2003 HONDA 1HGCM55333A035715.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA JUVENILE DIVISION: 07 CASE NO.: DP14-301 IN THE INTEREST OF: R.R. DOB: 05/25/2014, MINOR CHILD. SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS STATE OF FLORIDA TO: ADAM RENTA, Address unknown WHEREAS a Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above-referenced children, a copy of which is attached, you are hereby commanded to appear before the Honorable Judge Daniel Dawson on February 10, 2016 at 9:30 a.m., at Thomas S. Kirk Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806 for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and at the time specified.

FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THESE CHILDREN. IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILDREN NAMED IN THE PETITION ATTACHED TO THIS NOTICE. WITNESS my hand and seal of this court at Orlando, Orange County, Florida this 8th day of December 2015. This summons has been issued at the request of: Jennifer Shepard, Esquire, FBN: 93027, Attorney for the State of Florida, Children’s Legal Services, 400 West Robinson Street, Suite N211, Orlando, Florida 32801, (407) 317-7643-Telephone, (407) 317-7126-Fax, jennifer.shepard@myflfamilies.com CLERK OF THE CIRCUIT COURT By: /s/ Rochelle Marrero Deputy Clerk (Court Seal).

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IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA JUVENILE DIVISION: 07 CASE NO.: DP14-301 IN THE INTEREST OF: R.R. DOB: 05/25/2014, MINOR CHILD. SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS STATE OF FLORIDA TO: NATALIE LOZANO, Address unknown WHEREAS a Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above-referenced children, a copy of which is attached, you are hereby commanded to appear before the Honorable Judge Daniel Dawson on February 10, 2016 at 9:30 a.m., at Thomas S. Kirk Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806 for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and at the time specified.

FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THESE CHILDREN. IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILDREN NAMED IN THE PETITION ATTACHED TO THIS NOTICE. WITNESS my hand and seal of this court at Orlando, Orange County, Florida this 8th day of December 2015. This summons has been issued at the request of: Jennifer Shepard, Esquire, FBN: 93027, Attorney for the State of Florida, Children’s Legal Services, 400 West Robinson Street, Suite N211, Orlando, Florida 32801, (407) 317-7643-Telephone, (407) 317-7126-Fax, jennifer.shepard@myflfamilies.com CLERK OF THE CIRCUIT COURT By: /s/ Rochelle Marrero Deputy Clerk (Court Seal).

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA DIVISION: 07/Latimore/Pine Hills CASE NUMBER: DP12-362 In the Interest of B.W., female child DOB: 06/13/2011 , I.W., male child DOB: 03/07/2010 SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS STATE OF FLORIDA To: TRAVIS JEFFREY COCHRAN, Address unknown WHEREAS, a Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above-referenced child; you are hereby commanded to appear before Judge Alicia Latimore, on December 17, 2015 at 1:30 p.m. at the Orange County Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 E. Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806, for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY/ADJUDICATORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and time specified. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THIS CHILD (OR CHILDREN). IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILD (OR CHILDREN) NAMED IN THE PETITION. Pursuant to Florida Statute 39.802(4)(d), the mother/father are hereby informed of the availability of private placement with an adoption entity as defined in Section 63.032(3) Florida Statues, by including written notice in the summons served with this petition and at an advisory hearing if they are present for the hearing. Pleadings shall be copied to Kim Crag-Chaderton, Attorney for the State of Florida, Department of Children and Families, 882 S. Kirkman Road, Ste. 200, Orlando, Florida 32811. WITNESS my hand at the Clerk of said Court and the Seal, this 17th day of November, 2015.

CLERK OF THE CIRCUIT COURT (Court Seal) By: /S/ Deputy Clerk.

NOTICE OF SALE Pursuant to F.S. 713.585 At 9;00AM on Jan 2, 2016 Billis Auto Center 1710 N. Forsyth Rd. ORL, FL 32807, (407) 657-1808. Will sell the following vehicle(s) to Satisfy claim of lien. Seller reserves the right to bid and refuse any or all bids. Sold As-Is, No warranty. Seller guarantees no title. Terms cash. Satisfying the lien prior to sale may redeem said vehicle(s). You have a right to a hearing at any time prior to sale by filing a demand for hearing in the circuit court. Owner has the right to recover possession by posting bond per.

F.S. 559.917. Any proceeds in excess of lien will be deposited with clerk of courts.

2011 MITS. #JA4AP4AU9BZ012164 Lien amt. $6771.40

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● DEC. 16-22, 2015

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IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA DIVISION: 07/Latimore/Pine Hills CASE NUMBER: DP14-532 In the Interest of P.B., DOB: 01/19/2013, Child SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF TRIAL FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS STATE OF FLORIDA To: Azum Chang or Azam Chang: address unknown; WHEREAS, a Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above-referenced children; you are hereby commanded to appear before Judge Alicia. Latimore on February 16, 2016 @ 1:30 p.m. at the Orange County Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 E. Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806, for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TRIAL. You must appear on the date and time specified. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THIS CHILD (OR CHILDREN). IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILD (OR CHILDREN) NAMED IN THE PETITION. Pursuant to Florida Statute 39.802(4)(d), the mother/father are hereby informed of the availability of private placement with an adoption entity as defined in Section 63.032(3) Florida Statues, by including written notice in the summons served with this petition and at an advisory hearing if they are present for the hearing. Pleadings shall be copied to Veraunda I. Jackson, Attorney for the State of Florida, Department of Children and Families, 882 S. Kirkman Road, Suite 200, Orlando, FL 32811, veraunda.jackson@ myflfamilies.com.. WITNESS my hand at the Clerk of said Court and the Seal, this 1sth day of December, 2015. CLERK OF THE CIRCUIT COURT (Court Seal) By: /S/ Deputy Clerk.

NOTICE is hereby given that the undersigned,CTF1 LLC, of 460 Howard Ave, Lakeland FL, 33815, County of Osceola, pursuant to the requirements of the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations, is hereby advertising the following fictitious name: California Tortilla It is the intent of the undersigned to register “California Tortilla” with the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations. Dated: 14 of December, 2015 NOTICE is hereby given that the undersigned, Artronika, LLC, of 14255 Golden Rain Tree Blvd., Orlando, FL 32828, pursuant to the requirements of the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations, is hereby advertising the following fictitious name: Nightek It is the intent of the undersigned to register “Nightek” with the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations. Dated: 14 of December, 2015 NOTICE OF AUCTION Personal property of Eddie Englehart, Unit 25, will be sold for cash to satisfy owner’s lien in accordance with Florida Statutes Self Storage Facility Act on December 26, 2015 at 8 AM. Property consists of car and truck parts. Sale to be held at premises of South Orlando Mini-Warehouse, 414 Fairlane Avenue, Orlando, FL 32809.

NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE LINKS AUTOMOTIVE INC. gives the Notice of Foreclosure Lein and intent to sell these vehicles on 12/28/15, 12:00 noon at 6366 All American Blvd. Orlando, FL 328104304, pursuant to subsection 713.78 of the Florida Statutes. LINK’S AUTOMOTIVE INC. reserves the right to accept or reject any and/or all bids. Silent auction, sealed bid only.

2004 Mazda JM1BK343941216485 2001 Suzuki JS1VS54A412103454 1997 Dodge 1B7HC16X7VS146458 1999 Oldsmobile 1GHDX03E0XD286045 1997 Toyota 4T1BG22K2VU151710 2003 Toyota 2T1KR32E74C179819

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NOTICE OF ADMINISTRATIVE ACTION STATE OF FLORIDA, OFFICE OF FINANCIAL REGULATION J & J MULTI SERVICES CO., LLC Administrative Proceeding Docket No. 56606 J & J Multi Services Co., LLC and Jacques Jeanty and Jean Jeanty, individually 4300 South Semoran Blvd., Unit 102, Orlando, Florida 32822 YOU ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED that an Administrative Complaint (with Notice of Rights) has been filed against you by the State of Florida, Office of Financial Regulation, for failure to comply with certain requirements of Chapter 560, Florida Statutes.

As such, your written defenses, if any, must be received at the address provided below by 5:00pm ET, on Jan 1, 2016. (30 days from the first date published) TBD by newspaper FAILURE TO RESPOND AS PRESCRIBED will result in a default entered against you regarding the allegations and penalties contained in the Administrative Complaint, including but not limited to, a total administrative fine imposed of $52,300 and a 25 day suspension. A copy of the Administrative Complaint may be obtained from, and your response must be filed with the Agency Clerk of the State of Florida, Office of Financial Regulation as follows:GIGI HOLDER, Agency Clerk, State of Florida, Office of Financial Regulation, Post Office Box 8050, Tallahassee, FL 32314-8050, Email: Agency.Clerk@flofr. com, Tel: (850) 410-9889, Fax: (850) 4109663. A copy of your response should be sent to:Linje Rivers, Senior Attorney, State of Florida, Office of Financial Regulation, 200 East Gaines Street, Suite 550, Tallahassee, FL 32399-0376,Tel: (850) 410-9887.

Mo/day, mo/day, mo/day, mo/day.

NOTICE OF SALE Vehicles will be sold as is, no warranty.

Seller reserves the right to refuse any bid.

Terms of bids are cash only. Buyer must have funds on hand at time of sale: 2014 Bash VIN# LHJTLKBR9EB100038 1997 Toyota VIN# JT2AC52L7V0230926 1997 Toyota VIN# 4T1BG22K3VU148363 2006 Chevy VIN# KL1TG666X6B578893 To be sold at auction at 8:00 a.m. on December 30, 2015, 7301 Gardner Street, Winter Park, FL. 32792 Vehicles will be sold as is, no warranty. Seller reserves the right to refuse any bid. Terms of bids are cash only. Buyer must have funds on hand at time of sale. Constellation Towing & Recovery LLC

Notice of Public Auction for monies due on storage units located at U-Haul company facilities. Storage locations are listed below. All goods are household contents or miscellaneous and recovered goods. All auctions are hold to satisfy owner’s lien for rent and fees in accordance with Florida Statutes, Self-Storage Act, Sections 83.806 and 83.807. The auction will start at 8:00 a.m. and others will follow on January 6, 2016 U-Haul Moving and Storage of Maitland, 7815 North Orange Blossom Trail, Orlando, FL 32810; C69 Rashon Charleston $406.82, W11 Modestus Amadi $2124.60, D62 Markyia Smith $384.26, B49 Jaime Casanova Nater $414.40 U-Haul Moving and Storage of Apopka, 1221 East Semoran Blvd, Apopka, FL 32703; 1314 James Lewis $1016.88, 1170 Julie Pollick $1276.50, 1014 Tracy Honeycutt $519.05 U-Haul Moving and Storage of Altamonte Springs, 598 West Highway 436, Altamonte Springs, FL 32714; B130 Oghogho Onokpise $808.40 U-Haul Moving and Storage of Semoran, 2055 N Semoran Blvd, Winter Park, FL 32792; 1008-12 Acme Television $1253.50, 2562 Lindsey Dietsch $320.55, 2168 Sandra Charles $681.55 U-Haul Moving and Storage of Longwood, 650 N Ronald Reagan Blvd, Longwood, FL 32750; B003 Michael Crossman $523.90, A091 Arionna Slaughter $368.70, E026 Ramona Petty $411.55, A087 Jessica Hill $368.70 U-Haul Moving and Storage of Lake Mary, 3851 S Orlando Ave, Sanford, FL 32773; 2100 Brineisha Clark $336.60, 1077 Rebecca Collins $475.75, 1746 Leroy Williams $293.80, 1433 Clifford Cassidy $315.20, 1310 Chand King $323.15.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE 9TH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA CIVIL DIVISION CASE NO.: 2012-CA-006195-O CITIMORTGAGE, INC. SUCCESSOR BY MERGER TOABN AMRO MORTGAGE GROUP, INC., Plaintiff, v ROSS P. STEPHENS, et al. Defendants.

NOTICE OF SALE NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN pursuant to an Order Rescheduling Sale executed on October 20, 2015, in Civil Case No. 2012-CA-006195-O, in the Circuit Court of Orange County, Florida, I, Tiffany Moore Russell, Clerk of Court, will sell to the highest and best bidder for cash at www.myorangeclerk.realforeclose. com, AT 11:00 AM on January 5, 2016, the following described property as set forth in said Final Judgment, to wit: LOT 58, HIDDEN SPRINGS-UNIT TWO, ACCORDING TO THE PLAT THEREOF, AS RECORDED IN PLAT BOOK 10, PAGE 24, OF THE PUBLIC RECORDS OF ORANGE COUNTY FLORIDA. ANY PERSONS CLAIMING AN INTEREST IN THIS SURPLUS FROM THE SALE, IF ANY, OTHER THAN THE PROPERTY OWNER AS OF THE DATE OF THE LIS PENDENS MUST FILE A CLAIM WITHIN 60 DAYS AFTER THE SALE. AMERICANS WITH DISABILITIES ACT. If you are a person with a disability who needs any accommodation in order to participate in a court proceeding or event, you are entitled, at no cost to you, to the provision of certain assistance.

Please contact: ADA Coordinator, Human Resources, Orange County Courthouse, 425 N. Orange Avenue, Suite 510, Orlando, Florida, (407) 836-2303, fax: 407-836-2204; at least 7 days before your scheduled court appearance, or immediately upon receiving notification if the time before the scheduled court appearance is less than 7 days. If you are hearing or voice impaired, call 711 to reach the Telecommunications Relay Service.

Dated this 9TH day of December, 2015.

Kelley Kronenberg, Attorneys for Plaintiff, 8201 Peters Road, Suite 4000, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33324, Phone: (954) 370-9970, Service email: arbservices@kelleykronenberg.com, Attorney email: jvanslette@ kelleykronenberg.com. By /s/ JASON M. VANSLETTE Florida Bar No.: 92121.

NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE JANUARY 11, 2016 at 8:00AM at My Towing Company 1800 N Forsyth Rd., Orlando FL 32807. Will sell the following vehicles to the highest bidder 1976 CONTINENTAL VIN # 6Y89A896740 Term of the sale are cash. My Towing Company reserves the right to accept or reject any and all bids. Vehicle sold as is, no warranty, no guarantee, no title.

Notice is hereby given to the owners, lienholders, and other interested parties that the following described abandoned vehicles will be sold at auction for cash to the highest bidder at 2:00 pm, December 15, 2015 at 2851 St Johns Parkway Sanford, FL. 32771 : 2006 Jeep Commander 1J8HH58226C328244.

Seller reserves the right to reject any bid and the right to bid.

O R L A N D OWE E KLY.COM/J OBS PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1000 A Week Mailing Brochures From Home! No Experience Required. Helping home workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity. Start Immediately! www.MailingHelp.com (AAN CAN)

Salon Chair Rental Rustic Industrial French design 10 chair salon has a few chairs to rent! Located in Winter Park just between 436 and 17-92.

A very warm elegant salon with lovely clientele just away from the crowded downtown area. Very roomy work space with a relaxed atmosphere and incredibly comfortable sinks your clients will enjoy not to mention a large parking lot to accommodate clientele. We are strictly a hair salon but have great neighbors down the way at New York nails for mani pedis!

J and Company Hair Studio is a must visit to truly appreciate the space you would be renting. Please email if interested in seeing jandcompanyhairstudio@gmail. com. If you stop by please ask to speak to the owner, Jennifer. Orlando’s best kept secret!

AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students.

Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563 (AAN CAN.)

Accountant III City of Orlando 6131700

Mandarin Interpreter/Translator (Creative) Universal Orlando 6131642

Sr. Manager Attractions Operations Universal Orlando 6131594

Workforce Coordinator Hilton Grand Vacations 6131148

Water Safety Instructor City of Casselberry 6131046

Shuttle CDL Driver Needed - Local trips only (Class A Required) Benada Aluminum Products, LLC 6127912

Youth Development Director, Osceola YMCA Family Center YMCA of Central Florida 6131695

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Front Office - FT St. Cloud Regional Medical Center 6131701

Client Services Supervisor Tourico Holidays Inc. 6131672

Faculty Instructor - Contemporary Art Courses The Los Angeles Film School 6131604

Reservation Administration Supervisor Tourico Holidays Inc. 6131692

Cook - Orlando World Center Marriott Resort Marriott International 6131669

Registered Nurse Compass Research 6130440

Bilingual Inbound Customer Service Advisor 1 Sears Holding 6131691

Risk Management Coordinator Osceola County BoCC 6131668

Associate Course Director - Sound Design for Games Full Sail University 6131600

Pilot National Airlines 6131690

MANAGER OF FACILITIES MAINTENANCE Central Florida Regional Transportation Authority 6131688

Registered Nurse Oncology Job Fair December 15 2015 Orlando Health 6131677

Maintenance Tech w/ Electrical Experience Pro Image Solutions 6131666

Card Services Manager Orlando Federal Credit Union 6131665

Nail Technician /Esthetician - Dual Licenses B Resort located in the Walt Disney World Resort 6130305

Maintenance & Repair Technician / Handyman - Commercial Facilities Landmark Contracting 6130438

TEACHER II Community Coordinated Care for Children, Inc 6130426

Account Executive - Sales - Business Development Modular Document Solutions 6131664

Laser Engraving Machine Operator Pro Image Solutions 6131662

Culinary Chef Assistant- Full-Time, (Lead Line Cook) Walt Disney World Walt Disney World Resort 6131660

Itinerary Planning Agent, Disney Reservation Center - Tampa, Florida Walt Disney World Resort 6131590

Mover - Driver Two Men and a Truck - Central Florida 6130457

AR Insurance Financial Counselor Orlando Orthopedic Center 6131598

Auto Body Estimator Dayas Custom Autos inc 6130918

SALES & MARKETING SOLUTIONS edgefactory 6130063

Technology Administrator Martin Federal Credit Union 6131495 Senior Software Developer Colorvision International, Inc. 6130312

Overnight Floor Care Attendant (PartTime) Give Kids The World 6131488

Branch Manager Truly Nolen of America, Inc. 6131485

Digital Analyst Cru 6131395

eCommerce Affiliate Manager / Business Development American Safety Council 6131393

Security Sergeant Wet n Wild 6131577

Server Tavistock Restaurant Collection 6131369

Iron Worker Ace Staffing Inc. 6131402

STEM Majors Entry Level Opening LabAnswer 6131566

Maintenance Technician Orlando Science Center, Inc 6131565

Compliance Manager Diamond Resorts International 6130450

Destination Specialist (Part-Time) Visit Orlando 6131505

Restaurant Manager Tavistock Restaurant Collection 6131372

Home Services Technicians InstaDRY, LLC 6128288

Practice Coder I Florida Hospital Medical Group 6131551

Business Development / Appointment Specialist iAgentPro 6128063

Maintenance Technician Daily Management Resorts Inc. 6131503

Assistant Director of Nursing Coastal Health and Rehabilitation Center 6131322

PT Teller - Port St. Lucie Harbor Community Bank 6130356

WorldQuest Talent Search WorldQuest Resort 6129690

GIS Technician Team Staffing Services 6131612

Sheetfed Feeder Operator Central Florida Press 6131509

Automotive Technician / Mechanic Russell Automotive 6131111

Branch Manager Truly Nolen of America, Inc. 6131485

Preschool Teacher The Learning Center 6131301

Estimator Custom Metal Designs Inc. 6130813

Advertising - Senior Account Executive Go Convergence 6131599

Convention/Catering Coordinator Caribe Royale Orlando 6131613

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