Orlando Weekly December 02, 2015

FREE | DEC. 2-8, 2015

You think your job is hard? Listen to what these 7-Eleven clerks have to say about their jobs, P9

By MaRiSSa MahonEy

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S ’ Y S ’ L Y K L E K E E E W W O D O N D A N L A R L O R O TTH H

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Y R Y A R S A R S E R V E I V N I A NN AN

Y A T PA R

OPEN BAR • LIVE MUSIC ALL 90’s ALL NIGHT DE C 11 TH • 7- 11 PM

CH EY EN NE SA LO ON + CH UR CH ST. G E T YO U R TIC K E T S N OW AT:

O R L A N D O W E E K LY. C O M / 2 5 T H

Publisher Graham Jarrett Associate Publisher Leslie Egan Editor Erin Sullivan Editorial Arts & Culture Editor Jessica Bryce Young Associate Editor Ashley Belanger Staff Writer Monivette Cordeiro Calendar Editor Thaddeus McCollum Digital Content Editor Colin Wolf Interns Marissa Mahoney, Bernard Wilchusky Contributors Rob Bartlett, Jenn Benner, Jeffrey C. Billman, Rob Boylan, Justin Braun, Teege Braune, Patrick Cooper, Jason Ferguson, Christopher Garcia, Hannah Glogower, Matt Gorney, James Greene Jr., Holly V. Kapherr, Faiyaz Kara, Audrey Kristine, Seth Kubersky, Bao Le-Huu, Nick McGregor, Cameron Meier, Jeff Meyers, Dave Plotkin, Richard Reep, Steve Schneider, Yulia Tikhonova

It’s a movie about boxing, guys Both Creed and Candlebox matter far more than the drone that wrote that garbage (“Opening in Orlando: Creed, Creed The Good Dinosaur and Victor Frankenstein,” Nov. 26), and I never liked either one of them.

Advertising Senior Multimedia Account Executive Dan Winkler Multimedia Account Executives Allison Daake, Lindsey Hahn, Scott Navarro, Michelle Rogers Classified and Legal Rep Jerrica Schwartz

Jhon Ackerman, via Facebook

What was the discrepancy that Scotty had between the movie and the band? That the movie was at least somewhat good?

Marketing and Events Marketing and Events Director Brett Blake Events and Promotions Manager Brad Van De Bogert Promotions Coordinator Rachel Hoyle Marketing/Promotions Interns Kyle Kowalski, Sydnie Blakey, Meghan Brooks

Crappy the Anti-Defecation Dolphin (Ed: Ed We shit you not), Ed: via Facebook

Creative Services Creative Services Director Adam McCabe Creative Services Manager Shelby Sloan Graphic Designer Christopher Kretzer Business Business Manager Stacey Commer Business Assistant Allysha Willison Circulation Circulation Manager Keith Coville Euclid Media Group Chief Executive Officer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner Chief Financial Officer Brian Painley Human Resources Director Lisa Beilstein Digital Operations Coordinator Jaime Monzon euclidmediagroup.com National Advertising: Voice Media Group 1-888-278-9866, voicemediagroup.com Orlando Weekly Inc. 16 W. Pine St. Orlando, Florida 32801 orlandoweekly.com Phone 407-377-0400 Fax 407-377-0420 Orlando Weekly is published every week by Euclid Media Group Verified Audit Member Orlando Distribution Orlando Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader.

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COVER PHOTO BY MarIssa Mahoney

news & features

31 Opening in Orlando

6 News

Movies opening this week: Chi-raq, Christmas Eve, and Krampus

UCF White Student Union Facebook page creates controversy, distraction

6 This Modern World 9 Oh, thank heaven You think your job is hard? Listen to what these 7-Eleven clerks have to say about their jobs

arts & culture 17 In & out Eddie Izzard has been out for a long time, which makes him, in the current cultural moment, very much in

19 Live Active Cultures Bill Kitchen, designer of the Polercoaster, gives his two cents on the benefits and challenges of the controversial Skyplex project

food & drink 21 A new Napa?

A door opens in Mount Dora for chef Norman Van Aken, founding father of New World Cuisine

21 Tip Jar Kappo to close at the end of the month, Cask & Larder starts serving brunch, plus more in our weekly food roundup

25 Remix Try our comparatively easy take on a holiday punch if you need to whip something up in a hurry this season

27 Recently Reviewed Short takes on restaurants we’ve visited recently

film 31 Film Listings Cinema-oriented events to go see this week

I loved Candlebox, and I never understood why so many people hated them.

Larry Hirsch, via Facebook

31 Couchsurfing: Yes, all women Jessica Jones takes a swing at rape culture in new Marvel series on Netflix

I don’t know about Scott Stapp and his personal issues, but Mark Tremonti is one of the best guitarists. Green Day, on the other hand – what a self-entitled crybaby Billie Joe Armstrong is. Throwing a tantrum like a toddler when someone got more stage time than him, and he acted as if simply existing since 1989 meant he was entitled to something.

He only had maybe one decent album.

music 33 Take it easy Lucero tightens their focus to relax their sound on finely nuanced new album

33 Picks This Week Great live music rattles Orlando every night

35 This Little Underground AAHZ respects the breaks that made Orlando global, plus overdue props for DJ Stylus

calendar

Jake DeShong, via Facebook

36 Selections

I’ll be damned if you think I’m just going to sit back and let you badmouth Candlebox.

38 The Week 39 Down the Road

Adam LaDuke, via Facebook

back pages 57 Free Will Astrology

Got something to add? Email feedback@orlandoweekly.com.

57 Lulu Eightball

First Words compiles emails, letters and comments from orlandoweekly. com. We reserve the right to edit for length, content and clarity.

57 Gimme Shelter 58 Savage Love 59 Classifieds orlandoweekly.com

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NEWS & FEATURES

UCF White Student Union Facebook page creates controversy, distraction

By Mon ivett e Cor d ei r o

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with the school or a registered student organization, and UCF reported the unauthorized use of its trademarks to Facebook last week.

Professor Robert Cassanello, who teaches history at UCF, and Anthony Major, professor and director of Africana Studies at the college, both say the school’s administration is responsive to racial issues and cited UCF President John Hitt’s recent letter calling for tolerance of different cultures on campus.

BSU president Powell says the organization did not want to comment about the page at first because students were not sure the page was real.

“What we did was not a derogatory movement toward other cultures,” she says. “It was out of love and support for fellow students at Mizzou, as well as allegations happening on this campus.

Our quest for love has been taken out of context.”

Regardless of whether the UCF White Student Union page is fake, its narratives and the debates about the page are misdirecting the discussion that BSU students tried to start, says professor Julian Chambliss, chair of the history department at Rollins College.

“This assertion of whiteness under attack, regardless of the form it takes, changes the subject,” he says. “Instead of asking why students of color are having these protests, they create a counter-narrative that ignores the critique. They don’t investigate why those students felt the need to protest.”

Chambliss says it’s natural for many students to distance themselves from racist behavior, but it’s harder for students to recognize the privilege they have within the system and truly understand other students who do not share that experience.

“When vocal people in the majority are offering hostile, clearly overtly racist comments, as a person from a position of power, you don’t know exactly what the minority is experiencing, but you assume you’re not involved,” he says. “But we’re talking about structural issues that you may be participating in unconsciously because of your position in the majority.

It’s complicated because white students might think they’re not like those people doing horrible things, but they’re avoiding the question of why students of color are complaining.” mcordeiro@orlandoweekly.com

Photo by bErnarD WilChusky

a post from Nov. 21 says. “EuropeanAmerican students on college campuses face unique and immediate challenges that are ignored or even actively denied in today’s cultural climate.”

In a lengthy statement to the press on Nov. 24, the group said: “We are not a racist or white supremacist organization. We do not desire to discriminate against non-whites or diminish their cultures. In fact, we welcome non-white allies who support our freedoms of speech and association. But we will not apologize for being white. We will not self-flagellate for the sins of our ancestors. We will not be emotionally blackmailed to go along with the displacement of white people and culture in the name of ‘diversity’ or ‘equality.’”

About 30 Facebook pages popped up in connection with college campuses across the country with a similar message. Some media outlets, including The Daily Beast, have disputed the validity of the pages and deemed them a “hoax.”

The UCF White Student Union says the page was “created by current UCF students and alumni in response to startling BLM (Black Lives Matter) protests taking place on college campuses across the country.” UCF spokeswoman Courtney Gilmartin says the group is not affiliated

tudent protests against racial injustice at the University of Missouri that led to the ouster of the school’s president sparked similar movements on college campuses nationwide, and the University of Central Florida was no exception.

Two weeks ago, UCF’s Black Student Union held a sit-in to support the organization that spearheaded the protests, Concerned Student 1950, and convened a town hall meeting to discuss issues on campus. Earlier in November, Nazi symbols and anti-Semitic fliers were found at the school.

“As the voice of minorities on campus, it is our job to make sure that racial injustice is not happening on campus whatsoever,” Courtney Powell, president of the BSU, told us during the protest. “Mizzou inspired us to speak out because of the events that have been happening over the past five years, because they’ve been experiencing so much racial injustice.”

A few days after students sat on the ground for hours, someone made a Facebook page called “White Student Union at UCF,” sparking immediate comments and criticism online.

“We welcome students of European descent (and allies) to follow and contribute to the UCF White Student Union,”

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NEWS & FEATURES

angela Minervini, 32

You think your job is hard? Listen to what these 7-Eleven clerks have to say about their jobs.

By MariSSa Ma hon ey

PHOTOS BY MARISSA MAHONEY

F

or most people, a trip to 7-Eleven is about getting in and out as quickly as possible. So it’s easy for customers to forget about the clerks behind the counter – but they remember you, especially if you’re one of those customers who makes an overnight shift sad, strange or borderline dangerous.

Although most of the chaos that strikes a 7-Eleven takes place during the overnight shift, the morning clerks get their fair share of commotion, too. One minute, clerks could be having verbal battles with customers over pricing, the next they’re banging on bathroom doors to try to get the perverts inside to stop masturbating. And it’s not like they’re getting paid extra to deal with any of it.

The 7-Eleven clerks working behind the counter at stores around Orlando have countless stories to tell, but you’ll never hear them unless you ask. So we did.

Store: No. 23349, 2925 Corrine Drive Vibe: This store is located at the epicenter of a neighborhood that’s home to the city’s hippest coffee shop, a record store and an artisan food market, so you’d be correct if you imagined that the beer selection here is a little bit hoppier and the Big Bites are a little more ironic.

Best story: “[A guy] just parked at the gas pump and came in, and next thing you know a customer was running in from outside like, ‘Does somebody own a gray car?’

Because it ended up over there by Junior’s Diner in the Junior’s parking lot. … When we watched the video, he forgot to put the E-brake on, and it was a standard, and our parking lot is up and down. I have a standard, so I know. And it literally just looked like somebody started driving, like it was real slow. And it’s missing cars! After going in the middle of the road, cars are missing it. [One] car apparently hit it, side-swiped it, but kept going.”

Most hectic moment: Keeping up with the lunch rush.

andres Ubiles, 34

Store: No. 24163, 1350 N. Mills Ave. Vibe: This store’s location, right off Colonial Drive at the intersection of Little Vietnam and the boozy Mills 50 bar scene, means that things can get rowdy here after 2 a.m.

Best story: “I had one guy, and he was so messed up, I had to let him sleep in my car.

I had to! I didn’t want to let him walk anywhere, he was just falling everywhere. I felt so bad, I was like, ‘Just lay down in my car.’ A couple hours later, I was like ‘Knock, knock.

Get out of here.’ … I had one kid come in here and he tried to steal from us. He was just trying to steal different types of items, trying to steal candy and all this other stuff. He was just stuffing his pants. And then, all of a sudden I told him to stop, wait for a second. He just ran out, and I ran after him. He left his bike right next to the Dumpster. … he would’ve probably got away with it if he would have left his bike right in front of the store.”

Advice to prospective new employees: “You have to be a people person to work here.”

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erica Mcnelis, 21

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PHOTO BY MARISSA MAHONEY

Store: No. 36012, 1600 E. Colonial Drive Vibe: Typical corner shop that blasts “Uptown Funk” 20 times a day.

Best story: “This black tour bus pulls up; it’s one of those Mercedes ones. Next thing you know, a whole bunch of black guys come out, and they’re like walking out and they’re messing around with stuff, throwing stuff, boxing in the aisles,” McNelis says. “They” happened to be Migos, a popular hip-hop group from Atlanta. “Anyway, they were in here, and oh my gosh, they were being assholes.

[My co-worker] was messing up all their orders, and they were complaining to me. … It got me scared. No one else is com-

ing in the store. And somebody called the cops on them, I don’t know why. …

Next thing you know, two cop cars pull up, and [Migos] is freaking out,” she says.

Turns out, their pockets were filled with weed, which they quickly started stashing around the store. “They’re scattered everywhere putting [marijuana] in aisles, ice cream trays, the bathrooms.”

Special 7-Eleven clerk talent: Although her accuracy is questionable, McNelis claims to be able to pick out any pack of cigarettes from the shelves without having to look. Shout out a pack and keep her honest, but don’t stash your drugs in the ice cream case.

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nick Distefano, 19

Store: No. 32301, 4301 Alafaya Trail Vibe: A cardboard cutout of NFL coach Jon Gruden is enshrined by 18-packs of light beer. Rugs are modeled to look like AstroTurf. The UCF football team schedule hangs on the wall, which really just lets people know when they can get more free beer at the Basement in the likely scenario that the team loses again.

Best story: “Some guy left his car on, and then a drunk guy tried to steal it, but then he drove it into a wall. … An interesting thing is fake IDs. A lot of people try to come in here with really bad fake IDs and you can just look at the height or their face, and it’s just clearly not that. I don’t know why it’s awkward, but it just is.”

Best customer: “This guy’s like 90. He comes in on a regular basis, and he buys like five packs of green White Owl blunt wraps. I don’t know what he does with them, but even if he uses them for their intended use, that’s still crazy. One time, I joked around and ID’ed him, but he didn’t get the joke.”

Juan Jones, 44

Store: No. 10033, 723 N. Mills Ave. Vibe: There’s old-school hip-hop playing and the store clerk is dancing on a crate, happy as a clam. Welcome to Juan’s World, where clerk Juan Jones has worked the night shift for almost a decade.

Best story: “I had this guy in the bathroom masturbating. I was walking by, and I had to clean the other restroom, and I heard someone panting and moaning, and I thought someone was in the bathroom. I happened to knock on the bathroom, and they said, ‘Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, I’m cumming!’ And I was like, ‘oh my God!’ … I just said ‘OK, um, I can’t believe this.’ Somebody actually came inside a 7-Eleven restroom to go and bust a nut.”

A typical night: Jones has had people flash him their boobs, offer oral in exchange for beer and drop their pants to show him their junk. “What have I not witnessed?” he says with a smile. “Nothing!”

Store: No. 33172, 319 E. Princeton St. Vibe: This is your last stop before suburbia. The chaos of Orlando dwindles the closer you get to the convenience store, but even still, things can get hectic in the outskirts of downtown.

Best story: “You’ll get people who pull tricks. It’s not even anything good or bad, it’s just like they’ll point out how something will be on sale somewhere else where they see an advertised sale, and because they don’t scan it properly they think that it’s whatever product they’re holding in their hands, and it’s usually one or two shelves over. And you have to point that out, and they’re like, ‘Well, I’d still think it’d be nice to get a discount ’cause that was an inconvenience.’ … We had this gal pay for her gas, and the way that the card readers outside work is you have two minutes when you pay with a debit card to get your gas or it’s gonna automatically

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Sam hamid, 55

Store: No. 32183, 10959 E. Colonial Drive Vibe: Other than an overabundance of light beer tucked away in the coolers, you would have no idea that this is a collegetown 7-Eleven.

Best story: “The girls [working] here, they’re scared because I have a drug dealer coming here, and I had a big fight with him. He came, insulted the customers.

And the girls when they’re together, he comes in. When I’m here, he doesn’t come in. I tell them, call the cops without him noticing, and they’re scared even to call the cops. Once I tried to be nice to him

– tell him the proper way to do things.

Tell him I have kids and that you should do better than that, but he came back to the old ways.”

Toughest shifts: “The worst days are Friday and Saturday. I’ve been fighting for five years. I’ve been fighting these people around here. I get mad, call the cops. It’s tough. I get busy and they come steal. They come, get out the big ones, Heineken, all that stuff, and they took off, ran! I used to run after them … What they do is they park their car [in front of the store] and leave the door open. It’s sad, but it’s the way it is.”

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PHOTOS BY MARISSA MAHONEY

credit it back to your card. [But] this lady was convinced that we had her $20 and wanted one of us to pay for it. I told her, ‘No, it goes back to your card immediately following your transaction.’ ‘Well, this happened to me before and it didn’t go straight to my account.’ ‘OK, then it’ll go back tomorrow, ma’am. There is nothing I can do shy of paying for the gas myself.’ All I really wanted her to do was just check her bank statement and prove me wrong.

I will happily pay for the gas if you can prove me wrong, but I know I’m not.”

Biggest frustration: “Entitlement.

It’s the sense of entitlement. I get that everybody’s entitled to their life and their way, and I totally respect that, but at the same time there are rules and procedures.

When you come in the door, the first thing you should do is see if there is a line and where it starts. Don’t just jump to the first register you see and say you need $20 on 10.”

nick Brennon, 25

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Stephanie Moskyok, 25

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PHOTO BY MARISSA MAHONEY

Store: No. 36484, 1 N. Rosalind Ave. Vibe: Tall buildings towering in every direction, hordes of cars rattling the surrounding streets, homeless lurking at all hours and bicycle cops circling the perimeters like vultures.

Best story: “I had two homeless people outside of the store, and normally I don’t let them panhandle. I make them leave so I don’t get in trouble for it, but these two I didn’t catch because I was over there stocking stuff and putting the truck out. The customer came in with the two homeless people and bought himself a four-pack, and bought the two homeless men a four-pack. They walk out the store, and the next thing we see is the two homeless men robbing him for the four-pack.

And they all took off up the street, and

I’ve got cans of Busch Light rolling all over Central and Rosalind! “[Once] I had a guy buy a beer, go get the cup, the ice, everything, then ask me what the city’s drinking laws on public drinking were, so I said, ‘Well, I think the drinking laws are the same as they are in every city. If you open that beer, and one of these bike cops sees you drink that, you’re gonna go to jail no matter where you’re standing.’ He looked at me and said, ‘You out yo’ mind, watch me drink this!’ Then he cracked the beer and got no further than the corner across the street before the bike cops went right by him and picked him right up.”

Moskyok’s squad: Given all the boozefueled debauchery that goes down in her shop, it should come as no surprise to anyone that Moskyok is on a first-name basis with most of the bike cops in the area.

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arTS & CUlTUre

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arTS & CUlTUre

Eddie Izzard has been out for a long time, which makes him, in the current cultural moment, very much in

By Je ssica Bryce you n g eddIe IZZard: FORCE MAJEURE 8 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 2 | Walt Disney theater, Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, 445 S. magnolia Ave. | 844-513-2014 | drphillipscenter.org | $42-$84

Photo by AmAnDA SEArlE

e

ddie Izzard has made a name for himself in his nearly 30 years of performing on stage, not just as an “executive transvestite” (more on that later) but also with his loopy, drawling, discursive style. And it’s true, due to his dyslexia, which he discussed in 2010 on BBC radio, he’s not performing to a script but rather a “mental map.” However, what may seem like meandering cultural digressions are, in fact, keenly honed observations sharp as a poisoned umbrella tip.

“It’s not dick jokes, not toilet humor … not ‘two guys walk into a bar’ formulaic jokes,” Izzard says in a phone interview. “That’s what I give to the audience: I assume they are intelligent. I assume they are smart and they want to be smart: ‘Hey, I must be doing pretty good to get that!’”

Izzard’s audiences have lived up to his assumption of intelligence since his first one-man show won the British Comedy Award for Top Live Stand-up Comedian in 1993. In his colossal Force Majeure tour – the show’s been on the road since 2013 – extended musings on human sacrifice, religious history and medieval kings intermingle with “bits on guns, golf, Darth Vader, spaghetti carbonara … [and] Asian fusion cuisine,” according to Izzard, but whether he’s talking Star Chamber or Star Wars, never forget that he can do it in four languages equally fluently (and he’s working on Russian and Arabic). He’s already performed Force Majeure in English, French, German and Spanish as the tour wends through countries speaking those languages, and he’s been delivering lines here and

there in French since early on – 1999’s Dress to Kill featured a sprawling riff describing the plot of Speed in French, among other bounds des coq-à-l’âne en Français.

Another universal language in which Izzard is fluent: soccer, or, y’know, football.

When told that Orlando recently gained its own Major League Soccer team, Izzard enthuses, “Football is the perfect American sport, the ultimate American sport. America is about ‘anyone can do it,’ whether you’re from a privileged background or not, and that’s what football is: You can be very very tall, you can be very very small, you can be very very wide, you can be skinny as a rake; you just need the determination.”

Izzard has never been one to respect limits, physical or otherwise. His stand-up comedy can double as a history lesson; he can reel off great chunks of his act in French, even when performing in America; and just because he was born in the physical body of a man, that doesn’t mean he can’t wear high heels and makeup and rock a killer manicure.

Izzard’s coming-out was subtle but in no way veiled. In that first one-man show, he’s in what would become his trademark “executive transvestite” garb: an understated face of makeup, polished nails, floppy-collared and -cuffed shirt, jacket, trousers, boots. By Dress to Kill in 1999, he’d graduated to a smoky eye, burgundy lip and form-fitting silk cheongsam, and the very first joke in the show had to do with his strappy sandals. (“Yes, I’m a professional transvestite … I can run about in heels and not fall over. If women fall over in heels, that’s embarrassing, but if a bloke falls over in heels, you have to kill yourself.”)

Concepts of gender identity have come a long way since 1999, though; we’re in a moment where we’re all (rightly) expected to be conversant with and respectful of a wide spectrum of self-definition. Having

spent decades calling himself a transvestite, does Izzard now find himself trying to unpick the differences among transvestite, transsexual, transgender? “Only when I’m doing interviews.” OK, so we can assume The Youth isn’t sidling up to him in bookstores, then, shyly requesting advice.

Like a lot of actors, Izzard is wide-open candid about some parts of his life, but others are off-limits.

A recent documentary covers his coming out “as a cross-dresser” to his father at the age of 23, something he henceforth hid from no one; it also describes his sexuality as “straight” – that is, he dates women – something he prefers not to discuss.

When asked if, then, he might self-define as genderqueer or gender-fluid, he cuts it off. “What’s that? All the names keep shifting around,” he says flatly. “Transvestite isn’t a useful name anymore. I’m trans.” With only the merest hint of tetchiness, Izzard says, “We all get given a set of genetic cards. Some are easier to deal with … I was given the gift of both.”

The gift of “both” – French or English? Men’s garb or women’s?

Highbrow or lowbrow? Cake or death? – is a gift Izzard gives his audiences as well. No need to choose; just have it all, and welcome to it. jyoung@orlandoweekly.com orlandoweekly.com

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ARTS & CULTURE

U.S. Thrill rideS’ Bill and Michael KiTchen wiTh SKyScraper concepT arT in 2014

Competition and Universal Orlando’s parent corporation: “Comcast is a multibillion-dollar company, and incidentally one of the two most hated companies in America. The reason is that almost all of their cable service is a monopoly, and their customers complain about the quality. Is this not the same company that is now trying to monopolize north I-Drive?

“I think that the real problem is that they chose a community to build in where their height was limited to 200 feet, and they just don’t want the world’s tallest (and we believe the world’s most exciting) roller coaster to be a mile and a half away from them.

“We don’t believe that we’ll have a noticeable impact on their attendance at all. In fact, most of our customers will come to see us in the evenings after they’ve already left one of the other parks.

“Universal is a great group of parks; I take my friends there all the time.”

BY SETH KUBERSKY

PHOTO BY SETH KUBERSKY

Bill Kitchen, designer of the Polercoaster, gives his two cents on the benefits and challenges of the controversial Skyplex project At last month’s International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions Expo, Universal Orlando executive John McReynolds was inducted as IAAPA’s new chairman. Yards away on the show floor, ride manufacturer Intamin was advertising the Polercoaster, the world’s tallest roller coaster, which they hope to build in Orlando as the Skyscraper, the centerpiece of north I-Drive’s proposed 700-foot Skyplex tower. All was civil between the companies inside the Orange County Convention Center, but outside a war was being waged in neighborhood mailboxes, as “Save Our Orange County Community” (a group backed by Universal) distributed flyers claiming Skyplex would “change the character and face of our community forever” and set “an ominous precedent for future projects of this magnitude.”

Shortly before the Dec. 1 county commissioners’ meeting, which could seal the fate of Skyplex, I interviewed Bill Kitchen, founder of U.S. Thrill Rides and designer of the Polercoaster, to get his perspective on the controversial project.

Kitchen on … potential visual intrusion and light pollution caused by Skyplex: “We don’t think it’s a visual intru-

people who want to visit these places have to realize that traffic is an issue.”

sion at all, and even if it’s a slight intrusion, Universal does not own the sky for miles around the park. There’s only one company that ever has and that’s Disney, because they bought 28,000 acres.

“It will be subtly illuminated. In this case, the phrase ‘light pollution’ is a meaningless soundbite. Light pollution really refers to the overall brightening of the sky, and we would have a completely negative effect. … Orlando has more light pollution than any place in Florida already. What we think is that it will be an attractive addition to the skyline, an icon that will draw more tourists to the I-Drive corridor.

“This is not going to be lit like the Eiffel Tower is now, with a beacon and all the flashing lights. … This is going to be tastefully lit with architectural lighting. There will be no LEDs or flashing bulbs.”

Traffic congestion around Skyplex: “Anyone who drives around I-Drive or Sand Lake Road in the evening is going to ascertain that the worst creator of traffic is Universal, so this is an absurd case of the pot calling the kettle black. Not only have they created enormous traffic congestion already, but if you drive by, even from I-4 you see cranes everywhere. They’re building thousands of new hotel rooms; they’re building a new water park. “[Skyplex developer] Josh Wallack is absolutely correct that what we need in that neighborhood is a pedestrian environment where people can park their cars and move among various attractions.

“It’s all about economic growth, and the

If the Dec. 1 county commission meeting goes in Skyplex’s favor: “If they give the green light, Universal has already told a number of people that they will to continue to oppose it using lawsuits if necessary. They’ve already filed one lawsuit against the county [over stormwater easements]. We think it’s super nitpicking and trivial, but nevertheless it causes confusion.

“It’s just another delaying tactic that will be resolved, but you can bet that they’ll come to the next meeting with some new proposition that can delay the vote while we work out some new problem, and they’ll basically include some veiled threat of legal action against the county if the vote occurs.”

If commissioners reject Skyplex’s proposal: “We can always come back to them again with new information or a revised proposal, and we certainly would.

“I do believe we’ll get a fair hearing and that the outcome will be positive, [but] the owners have already acquired the rights to build this in some other really big markets.

It will be up to the county commissioners whether the world’s largest roller coaster and a beautiful icon comes to Orlando or someplace else.”

Skyscraper’s first riders: “I’m 67 and I’m still crazy about roller coasters. The first car out will have a couple of the owners, me, my son and my cardiologist. But I’ll be on it!” skubersky@orlandoweekly.com orlandoweekly.com

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tip jar Plus, I really liked the people who showed my wife Janet and me the museum and the town. We had dinners in their homes and talked on every occasion about the future of Mount Dora and raising the awareness of its cultural richness. I began to see it like an early version of Napa Valley, or perhaps Woodstock, New York, in some ways.

Another aspect is that I want my work to embrace all of Florida’s culinary powers.

I began with Key West, but then the RitzCarlton brought me to Central Florida. As we are writing our sixth cookbook – and this one is on all of Florida – the door at Mount Dora opened and we walked through it.

A new napa?

A door opens in Mount Dora for chef Norman Van Aken, founding father of New World Cuisine

By FaIyaz KaRa

w

hen Norman Van Aken talks, people listen. The Illinois-bred and Florida-honed chef’s influence on modern-day cookery is undeniable, but the celebrated “founding father of New World Cuisine” isn’t done yet. Van Aken plans to open a new restaurant in Mount Dora in early 2016, an announcement that came as a surprise to many.

The name of the restaurant, says Van Aken, will be 1921 – named for the year emblazoned on the building’s facade. He discusses his vision for 1921 in this interview, along with myriad other topics – the genesis of this latest venture, food trends, rock & roll and leaving a legacy – and does so in a naturally eloquent fashion. If Van Aken isn’t gastronomy’s poet laureate, then

he’s certainly one of its most soulful voices.

Orlando Weekly: When word came that you were opening a restaurant in Mount Dora, people were a bit surprised. Why Mount Dora?

Norman Van Aken: For a number of reasons. It began when I was invited to do an appearance for a charitable organization there about two years ago. I was shown the town by a person I admire who loves Mount Dora and I felt quite a good “glow” in being there right from that day. But that was over a year before I was invited back to take a look at it from the standpoint of opening a restaurant there. When I was at the Modernism Museum and got a sense of the depth of artistry, another bell went off.

by Faiyaz Kara

Kappo at East End Market will close at the end of the month, but the owners will transform the space into a konbini, or Japanese convenience store. According to co-owner Lordfer Lalicon, “People will be able to buy select sake, Japanese prepared foods, candies and all types of random things that we can think of.

Kappo, on the other hand, is ready to be in its own home, where we can control the whole dining experience.”

Good news for brunchsters: Cask & Larder is now serving brunch on Saturdays as well as Sundays. Hours are 10:30 a.m. to 3 p.m.

What’s your vision for the restaurant, and how will you differentiate it from Norman’s Orlando?

NVA: Great question, and I’m glad you ask. I think of my work much like a musician or a filmmaker. Each restaurant is like an album or a film to me. But, unlike albums or films, the preceding restaurant is ongoing and remains malleable. The efforts in Mount Dora could have a ripple effect. Our restaurant will find, and champion, local farms, artisanal foods, seasonality, and the flavors of Florida at large.

Norman’s Orlando was the direct descendant of Norman’s Miami. As such, our Latin-Caribbean DNA is very much celebrated at Norman’s Orlando. I became a chef because I love to grow and explore.

With Mount Dora, I’ll move more and more into a Floridian phase in the modern sense of the word. Like the Modernism Museum, and my understanding of the artists’ works showcased there, we will seek to represent, through our food and setting, the beauty of Central Florida.

oPenInGS: Those of you lamenting the loss of Sassafras Sweet Shoppe, the candy shop off Park Avenue in Winter Park, take heart: Sweet 32804 in the former Atomic Junkies space in College Park has all your throwback candy and more. Look for Sweet 34787 (that’s Winter Garden) next … More College Park news: Look for Caliente Spicy Cuban Fusion to open in time for Valentine’s Day (Sugarbuzz Dezert Co. might supply the restaurant with desserts and fresh-baked bread).

Also, progress is being made at the PR’s Taco Palace in College Park. Expect it to open “within the next couple of months” … Slices & Ices, specializing in pizza, Italian ice and gelato, has opened in Casselberry.

CloSInGS: The iconic Maitland location of Jeremiah’s Italian Ice has closed.

Look for a new location to open “in the immediate area.” eVenTS: Cask & Larder hosts a “Beer & Wild Game” dinner Dec. 7 with dishes featuring Florida wild game (nope, no manatee) paired with house-brewed beers from DeBary’s Central 28 Beer Company … The Chateau Montelena Winery, famous for its winning white wines at the historic “Judgment of Paris” in 1976, hosts a dinner at Hemisphere in the Orlando Airport Hyatt Regency Dec. 11. The four-course meal will comprise duck, scallops, filet mignon and a chocolate-orange gâteau; cost is $85 per person … The 5th annual Wine & Chocolate Festival is Dec. 12-13 at Lakeridge Winery; cost is $2.

You selected [former executive chef of Norman’s Orlando] Camilo Velasco as chef de cuisine. Why him, and how did his selection come about?

NVA: Camilo was my very first choice for the chef position at Mount Dora. After working with us in Orlando, he also came to work with me in Miami. He has the passion and work ethic I find so rare in the world today. He is a “student of the art” too. Unlike so many young chefs, he knows the lineage of the great chefs of the 20th century. He also knows and pays attention to the chefs on the rise from all over the globe. We are in a world where this is more possible than ever. He is not confined by social media outlets, but reads voraciously and finds inspiration from the vast net he has cast. It includes all of nature.

Got restaurant dish? Send tips to dining@orlandoweekly.com

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With your cooking school at the [soon-toopen] Vagabond Hotel in Miami and your busy travel schedule, how much will you be involved in the new venture, and how often can guests expect to see you in the kitchen?

NVA: My schedule is much less burdensome than many chefs I know very well! Let’s just say, more than ever.

You write in your memoir, No Experience Necessary, about constantly picking up and reading cookbooks.

Which one made the greatest impact on you, and which one would you recommend every up-and-coming chef read?

NVA: What is the saying? “The first cut is the deepest”? The first book I bought on cooking was James Beard’s Theory and Practice of Good Cooking. Like so many of Mr. Beard’s books, it stands up to the test of time. I would recommend it, as well as the works of Charlie Trotter and Jacques Pepin.

Rock & roll seems to be inextricably woven into your life. I saw a photo on Instagram of you, Dean Fearing and Robert Del Grande jamming on stage in Dallas.

So who would the first inductees into the Norman Van Aken Rock & Roll Hall of Fame be?

NVA: “Rock & roll,” to me, is a term that connotes a time I mark as being “Before the Beatles.” The Beatles learned rock & roll and the world shifted increasingly into more cerebral territory. (Bob Dylan being also key, of course.) So my Rock & Roll Hall of Fame rocks back to a vital past. I would choose more, but if five is the set, let’s say, as of now, Elvis Presley, Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis, Little Richard and maybe, just to mess with everyone a bit, but also to point out the roots of rock & roll, Sister Rosetta Tharpe.

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Also, if I were to pick a rocker as my favorite rock & roll artist, it would be Elvis during the pre-Colonel Parker period.

If you were to liken yourself to a musician, who would it be? What about your buddy Emeril Lagasse? Who was Charlie [Trotter] most like?

NVA: I would not liken myself to a rock star. I am more of a writer-loving person.

I’d rather be likened to [quotes poet Masaoka Shiki] “one who loved poetry and persimmons.”

Emeril? Probably Billy Joel. Charlie? Dylan.

At this stage in your career, are you thinking about the sort of legacy you want to leave?

NVA: I want people to know how to cook to feed themselves and their families more than anything in terms of “legacy work.” I want to be a part of helping teach this. I want to have this overflow to feeding our children and grandchildren deeply flavorful, healthy, sustainable food. I want to share this with my family for many years to come. And I want us to turn away from violence to man, and planet harm, and to take care of the children throughout the world.

Worst injury you’ve suffered in the kitchen?

NVA: Nothing compares to being nearly electrocuted by the Ferris wheel when I worked in the carnival! [Note: The moment is recounted on page 22 of No Experience Necessary.]

program

in

Worst food trend?

The NVA : abysmal lunch our public schools.

What question are you most tired of getting?

NVA: The way I look at it is it’s better to be asked a question, even an annoying one.

That way you have a chance to steer the dialogue in a direction to enlighten it. fkara@orlandoweekly.com

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classIc • • • •

the peels of 4 lemons 8 ounces lemon juice 1 cup sugar 24 ounces VSOP cognac or armagnac • 8 ounces dark rum • 40 ounces cold water • freshly grated nutmeg

holiday punch

By Jessica Bryce young

PHOTOS BY JESSICA BRYCE YOUNG

I

t doesn’t matter how stubbornly balmy the weather stays in Florida, holidays are holidays, dammit, and December calls for Dickens.

There are so many festive gatherings in the early novels of Charles Dickens, from the Fezziwigs’ jolly Christmas dance in A Christmas Carol to Mrs. Hunter’s costume breakfast in The Pickwick Papers, none more fun than the ones Mr. Micawber attends or abets throughout David Copperfield; Micawber is called upon to make punch not once but twice in the novel. (The first: “I informed Mr. Micawber that I relied upon him for a bowl of punch, and led him to the lemons. … I never saw a man so thoroughly enjoy himself amid the fragrance of

lemon-peel and sugar, the odour of burning rum, and the steam of boiling water, as Mr. Micawber did that afternoon. It was wonderful to see his face shining at us out of a thin cloud of these delicate fumes, as he stirred, and mixed, and tasted.”)

As literary historians report that Dickens himself was an inveterate punch-maker, we can assume that the recipes he writes of are his own, and there’s no end of Dickensian punch recipes online. Most have in common oleo-saccharum, a substance explored in the March 2015 Remix column – citrus peel macerated with sugar until the oils from the fruit peel blend with the sugar into a thick sweet fluid. Oleo-saccharum is generally agreed to be one of the ingredients of

In a 1-gallon punch bowl, muddle the lemon peels with the sugar and let stand for four hours. By then, the sugar should have begun drawing the oils from the peels; add the lemon juice and stir until all of the sugar dissolves. Add the spirits and water and stir to combine.

Slide in a large block or ring of ice and garnish with freshly grated nutmeg.

a classic punch (sugar, lemon, spirits and/or wine, spices and/or tea) and it isn’t difficult to make, but I wanted this punch to be easy and fast – the kind of thing you could whip up with just a trip to the liquor store and maybe 20 minutes of prep. (You will have to consider the question of ice ahead of time, though: You’ll want a very large piece for the bowl, which’ll take hours to freeze.)

In David Wondrich’s extensively researched 2011 book Punch: The Delights and Dangers of the Flowing Bowl, he translates a recipe the novelist sent in a letter to a friend into modern measurements, calling it “a classic 18th-century brandy rum punch.”

His recipe for “Charles Dickens Punch” involves a complicated maneuver with a candle, a spoon, and some flaming rum that I won’t go into here, but our “classic” recipe is his basic brandy-rum punch.

As for my Remix, it’s a tasty libation perfect for parties, but I didn’t go overboard on the specifically Christmasy cheer. (And neither should you and your guests: To facilitate easy sipping over the course of a party, it’s not too strong.) I’ve led you to the lemons, as well as the rum, applejack (with its brandy-like flavor profile) and red rooibos tea. Aside from freezing the ice the night before, this punch won’t take more than a few minutes of stirring, and mixing, and tasting. Have a holly-jolly time, even if you’re wearing shorts while you have it.

remIxed • • • • • • •

16 ounces rooibos tea 10 ounces Laird’s Applejack 10 ounces Jamaican rum 2 ounces Hum Botanical Spirit 4 ounces fresh lemon juice 4 ounces simple syrup 1 can Cigar City Florida Cracker white ale • ice ring or block • fresh thyme, for garnish (optional) First, fill a plastic container or cake mold (of a diameter that will fit in your punch bowl) with water and freeze overnight. If you don’t have any simple syrup on hand, make some now: Simmer equal parts sugar and water until dissolved; let cool, then store in fridge.

Brew the tea and set aside. (Ideally, give it enough time to cool – say, 20 minutes or so.)

Put the tea, applejack, rum, Hum, lemon juice and simple syrup in a punch bowl and stir to mix. Carefully slide in the ice, taking care not to splash. (The tea and the Hum are both red and might stain.) Pour in the beer and gently swirl to mix again. Let chill.

Ladle into individual cups to serve. Garnish each cup with a sprig of fresh thyme, if you want to be all Martha Stewart about it.

jyoung@orlandoweekly.com

SERVING THE AUTHENTIC

GYRO SANDWICH WE ALSO HAVE A WIDE VARIETY OF VEGETARIAN SELECTIONS AND AUTHENTIC MEDITERRANEAN BEER AND WINE

CATERING AVAILABLE // FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK! 435 E. MICHIGAN STREET 407.422.BLUE (2583)

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recently reviewed EDITED BY JESSICA BRYCE YOUNG

$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$

$10 or less $10-$15 $15-$25 $25 or more

The price range generally reflects the average cost of one dinner entree. Bakeries, ice cream shops, etc. reflect relative cost for one person.

Search hundreds more reviews at orlandoweekly.com

North Quarter Tavern This sister restaurant to Citrus brings a relaxed attitude, good service and a food-focused ethic to downtown’s North Quarter district. Chef Matt Wall is all about ticker-testing comfort fare – sampling his poutine with duck gravy or crackling fried chicken may conjure images of Barney Clark. An in-house charcuterie program has yielded some promising results. More dessert options are needed, though.

Brunch is offered Sundays. 861 N. Orange Ave., 407-757-0930; $$

Paramount Fine Foods Canadian chain brings middling Middle Eastern fare to the tourist sector. Muted flavors and drab presentations mar many of the offerings, though beef kafta kebab is well-seasoned. The manakeesh (Middle Eastern pizza) we tried, with akkawi cheese and za’atar, proved too oily to enjoy. An impressive display of desserts – baklava, kanafeh, osmalieh and the like – appease, but won’t wow. Open daily. 8371 International Drive, 407-930-8645; $$

Braccia Pizzeria & Ristorante Italian resto with Brazilian leanings has little in the way of good food to offer the famished Park Avenue patron, but if you’re thirsting for some fresh-squeezed juice, the pineapple-mint will leave you happily refreshed and wanting more. 153 E. Morse Blvd., Winter Park, 407-636-9918; $$$

Seito Sushi Baldwin Park sushi joint appears refreshed and revitalized, and their dishes ever more Japanese. A weekend-only izakaya menu is worth a look. Ramen (try the shoyu) really impresses, as does the moriawase (chef’s selection) of sashimi, save for mealy tuna. A roll fashioned from lobster, American wagyu and truffle aioli will cater to the bon vivant in you, though desserts like tepid bananas Foster and spice-less five-spice French toast won’t. A requisite selection of craft cocktails and a decent selection of sake, wine and beer keep guests slaked. 4898 New Broad St., 407-898-8801; $$$

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Slate It’s a “see and be seen” kind of place, but chef Dominic Rice serves up seasonal dishes that, for the most part, are competently executed. Oak-fired pizzas (a necessity, it seems, for any new joint worth its weight) are worth a look, as is the gnocchi with short rib Bolognese. A heavy-handed spice rub marred delicate tilefish, but succulent flatiron steak served with crisp green beans, marble potatoes and smoked butter is nice. Sticky toffee pudding makes for a saucy ending. Decent wine and cocktail list. 8323 Sand Lake Road, 407-500-7528; $$$

The Boathouse Giant house of boating paraphernalia and seaside eats is the proverbial anchor in the restaurant makeover at Disney Springs.

Just as vast is the selection of seafood and steak items offered at inflated prices.

Lobster cocktail and middleneck clams from Cedar Key make a nice start, but consult Seafood Watch prior to ordering the catch of the day. Steaks are stellar; desserts (like Key lime pie in a Mason jar and berry-coulis-saturated chocolate bundt cake) are not. Disney Springs, 1620 E. Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista, 407-939-2628; $$$$

Gopal Ji Sweets Wonderful vegetarian dishes are to be had at this Indian resto, but all but one of the “sweets” has been jettisoned and the menu may soon include meat. Until then, do yourself a favor and try their outstanding chaat items, like bhel puri, chole bhatura and veg samosas. Mains like masala bhindi (okra) and aloo saag (creamy spinach with potatoes) are properly spiced and simply delightful. 4642 S. Kirkman Road, 407-730-8800; $$

Bavaro’s Pizza Napoletana & Pastaria Not your average pizza and pasta joint, this Winter Springs hotspot draws them in for Neapolitan-style pies and house-made, hand-cut tagliatelle and ravioli. The star is the Neapolitan-made brick oven, which churns out perfectly blistered pizzas, be it your basic margherita or the weighted and eggy carciofi con uovo. A stellar Bolognese sauce highlights the tagliatelle; to end without sampling either the cannoli or tiramisu would be a mistake. 1468 Tuskawilla Road, Winter Springs, 321-422-3600; $$$

Union Burger The better burger movement gets the Canadian treatment at this Lake Nona outpost of this Ontario-based chain, but don’t blame Canada for the subpar poutine served here, or the overdone burgers and dogs. Shakes veer on the sweet side, but locals will appreciate Cigar City brews and Quantum Leap wines. 9680 Narcoossee Road, 407-745-4510; $ n

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FILM

FILM LISTINGS Bad Santa A miserable con man and his partner pose as Santa and his little helper to rob department stores on Christmas Eve. Wednesday, 7:30 pm; Southeast Museum of Photography, Daytona State College, Daytona Beach; free; 386-506-4475; smponline.org.

Bone Tomahawk Four men set out in the Wild West to rescue a group of captives from cannibalistic cave dwellers. Through Thursday; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $11; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

Cult Classics: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation Watch Clark Griswold’s holiday plans go awry when he doesn’t get the Christmas bonus he was counting on, then ask yourself “WTF is a ‘Christmas bonus’?”

Tuesday, 9:30 pm; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $8; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

Dangerous Men So-bad-it’s-good gutter epic of crime, revenge, cop sex and raw power. FridaySaturday, midnight; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $11; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

Date Night: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation See above.

Friday, 7:30 pm; Harry P. Leu Gardens, 1920 N. Forest Ave.; $6; 407-246-2620; leugardens.org.

Heart of Sky, Heart of Earth This film follows six young Maya who present their indigenous perspective, in which all life is sacred and connected, as they resist the destruction of their culture and environment. Wednesday, 2 pm; Southeast Museum of Photography, Daytona State College, Daytona Beach; free; 386-506-4475; smponline.org.

Marathon Mondays: Trigun Vash the Stampede takes forever to shoot anything. Monday, 5 pm; The Geek Easy, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park; free; 407-332-9636.

On the Mind of a Beautiful Woman Red carpet premiere of Bigg Persona’s new movie and accompanying album. Thursday, 7:30 pm; Premiere Cinemas 14 at the Fashion Square Mall, 3201 E. Colonial Drive; $15-$30; 407-894-0599.

Popcorn Flicks in the Park: Home Alone Part of Winter on the Avenue.

OPENING IN ORLANDO Bring a blanket and watch the tragic fall of the once-great Wet Bandits. Friday, 7 pm; Central Park, Winter Park, North Park Avenue and West Morse Boulevard, Winter Park; free; enzian.org.

KRAMPUS

Room The critically acclaimed film about a mother and son trapped in a room. Through Thursday; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $11; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

Rifftrax Live: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny A live, never-beforeseen riffing on one of the strangest Christmas movies ever made.

Thursday, 8 pm; multiple locations; $12.50; fathomevents.com.

The Second Mother Brazilian film about Val, a hard-working live-in housekeeper in modern day Sao Paulo. Opens Friday; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $11; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope Enjoy popcorn and a flight of three wines while gearing up for the release of Episode VII. Wednesday, 7:30 pm; The Swirlery, 1508 E. Michigan St.; $10; 407-270-6300; swirlery.com.

Uncomfortable Brunch Presents: Shortbus Eat brunch while watching a sweet comedic drama filled with unsimulated sex. Sunday, noon; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10$12; uncomfortablebrunch.com.

Wednesday Night Pitcher Show: Black Christmas The holiday season turns deadly for a group of sorority sisters who are stranded at their campus house during a snowstorm.

Wednesday, 7:30 pm; Eden Bar at the Enzian, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; free; 407-629-1088; enzian.org.

Winter Holiday Film Festival: Elf Modern holiday classic about a human (Will Ferrell) raised by Santa’s elves, who returns to the world of men to find his family. Wednesday, 11 am; Orlando Public Library, 101 E. Central Blvd.; free; 407-835-7481; ocls.info.

Winter in the Park: Miracle on 34th Street Screening of the holiday classic about how to get away with mail fraud.

Friday, 7 pm and Sunday, 2 pm; Central Park, Winter Park, North Park Avenue and West Morse Boulevard, Winter Park; free; cityofwinterpark.org.

BY STE V E S C H N E I D E R

YES, ALL WOMEN

OPENING THIS WEEK Chi-raq Spike Lee’s latest directorial effort is a modern riff on Lysistrata in which a bunch of Chicago women try to force an end to the city’s gang violence by refusing to give up the nappy dugout until the shooting stops. In other words, no peace, no piece. (And if it were set in East L.A., we could call it Liz Estrada. Sound it out!) (R) Christmas Eve Ever since Love Actually hit big, there’s been such a rush to fashion ensemble comedies around popular holidays that it’s a wonder it’s taken this long for somebody to get around to Christmas Eve. Wait a minute: Love Actually WAS a Christmas Eve movie, wasn’t it? That means we’ve come full circle, and that aforementioned somebody just couldn’t sell the suits on a picture named Ouroboros. Technically, though, Christmas Eve isn’t specifically a romance, focusing on a bunch of New Yorkers who all get trapped in elevators with strangers as the holiday looms and have their hearts softened by the experience. So it’s Scrooged crossed with Sweet Charity? Sounds major. Filmmaker Mitch Davis, like costar Jon Heder, is part of the Mormon Pack, so expect at least one kid to disown his gay parents by night’s end. (PG) Krampus In this holiday-themed horror comedy, an ancient Eurocentric monster inflicts unbearable punishment on those who aren’t in the spirit of the season. Geez, just think of it: a whole movie about Bill O’Reilly! Truthfully, though, Krampus is based on a German legend that’s conveniently appropriate to modern-day Yuletide controversies. Filmmaker Michael Dougherty was brave (read: stupid) enough to tell the Wall Street Journal that he considers the invention of the “imaginary war on Christmas” one of the things we’ve done to pollute the purity of the holiday. Hey, Michael: That’s the WSJ you’re talking to! Don’t you know Murdoch gets a rage boner when the word Festivus is even uttered? Then again, maybe Dougherty knows what he’s talking about: He made the Halloween picture Trick ’r Treat, and did you notice how Starbucks served their Pumpkin Spice Cow’s Blood this year in those inclusive, allorange flagons? (PG-13)

Jessica Jones takes a swing at rape culture in new Marvel series on Netflix

BY THAD D EUS MCCO LLUM While movies and television shows based on comic books are a white-hot commodity right now, they’ve been justifiably criticized for their lack of female lead characters.

Despite Marvel’s large stable of strong, compelling lady superheroes, only Black Widow has made an appearance in more than one film, and she’s rarely given any agency of her own, usually only supporting Iron Man or Captain America in their own plotlines. Netflix’s Jessica Jones, the first female-centric show taking place in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, attempts to compensate for this lack of female representation by being probably the most overtly feminist superhero show ever.

The feminist themes in Jessica Jones aren’t subtle. The title character, played by Krysten Ritter (Breaking Bad), is a private detective with superhuman strength whose surly, boozy demeanor belies post-traumatic stress from an abusive relationship with Kilgrave (David Tennant, Doctor Who), a men’s rights activist’s wet dream who has the power to make anyone (though mostly women) do whatever he tells them to do. He repeatedly tells women to smile, and they do even though they don’t want to, fulfilling the wishes of every creepy stranger who feels the need to tell women to smile on the street. After Kilgrave claims another unwilling victim, Hope (Audrey Hart, True Detective), and forces her to kill her parents, Jessica Jones spends the rest of the season trying to track him down while coping with the fallout from her own experiences as a victim of abuse.

Showrunner Melissa Rosenberg, best known for writing the Twilight film adaptations, makes up for that series’ romanticization of an essentially abusive relationship by eschewing romance for dark reality. A support group is formed for Kilgrave’s victims. Jessica’s best friend, Trish Walker (Rachael Taylor, 666 Park Avenue), a victim of abuse herself, meets a “nice guy” who turns out to be anything but. The themes of control, power and abuse pop up again and again in a lawyer’s divorce proceedings and a neighbor’s addiction to heroin. One of the very few “good guys” in the show, bartender Luke Cage (Mike Colter, The Good Wife), is also one of the only men who isn’t out to tell women what to do, instead simply telling Jessica, “Do what you gotta do.” We can only hope that Marvel takes that advice and continues to do whatever they have to do to keep making female-driven movies and shows that are this honest and compelling. tmccollum@orlandoweekly.com

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Great live music rattles OrlandO EVErY nIGHT

that would fit on either 1372 Overton Park or Women & Work (“Can’t You Hear Them Howl” and “Young Outlaws”) and a couple of ballads that add a delicate touch to their sturdy backbone (“The Man I Was” and “I Woke Up in New Orleans”).

Ironically, the more laid-back, somewhat sparer sound of All a Man Should Do is drawing comparisons to early Lucero albums like the 2001 self-titled release and 2002’s Tennessee. Nichols says he can see those similarities, although he feels the new album also shows the musical growth of the band.

The early albums helped Lucero establish itself on the national scene. But Nichols says the heavy touring in their early years took a toll. In fact, it was only when Lucero started to expand its sound – and lineup, first with keyboardist Rick Steff joining ahead of the 2006 album Rebels, Rogues & Sworn Brothers, and then by adding horns on 1372 Overton Park – that the group began to get a second wind.

“Before Rick joined the band, yeah, we were kind of running ourselves into the ground,” Nichols says. “I really honestly believe if Rick hadn’t joined the band, we probably would have fizzled out around that time. But Rick really was a shot in the arm. Just his musicality and his professionLucero tightens their focus to relax their sound alism, and just what he brought to the band on finely nuanced new album opened up a whole new world of possibilities and made songwriting exciting again.

By ALAn ScuLLey “And then it was kind of the same way with the horn section,” he says. “You write that we should do?” an eVenInG wITH lUCero 8 p.m. Friday, What felt right to Nichols and his band- a song at night and then you see what horn Dec. 4 | The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave. | mates was to pull back a bit on the tempos arrangements they come up with and, oh, 407-246-1419 | thesocial.org | $22-$25 and go for a more relaxed sound. This shift, it just blows your mind and it’s the funnest thing on the planet. And so yeah, adding though, proved challenging.

“We actually had to make a very con- new members, it definitely saved the band t’s often said it’s a sign that a musician is maturing when performances start scious effort to get to that place where like and revitalized us, for sure.”

The group’s first tour in support of All a to be as much about what the musi- everything was played with a lighter touch cian doesn’t play as the amount of notes or maybe a softer approach,” he says. “We Man Should Do will be well-suited to both made a conscious decision to kind of take the softer- and harder-charging sides of he plays.

Applying that logic to Lucero suggests a step back and really focus on playing Lucero’s music, as well as exploring the the full band is reaching a new level of together and playing what’s appropriate depth of a catalog that now numbers 10 fullgrowth and maturity together with a new for the song, instead of everybody just length studio albums. It’s an evening-with turning it up to 10 and going for it. There presentation, with an acoustic segment folalbum, All a Man Should Do. After making two boisterous, horn- was a little more nuance to this one. And lowed by a plugged-in second set.

Lucero tested out the evening-with forinfused albums (1372 Overton Park and that didn’t come naturally to us. We had Women & Work) on which the band inte- to kind of really focus on it, but I think it mat during four shows this past winter and grated a good bit of the soul influence paid off. You do end up with a more set- liked how they went.

“We were definitely able to dig deeper of their hometown, Memphis, into their tled – I’ve heard some folks use the word rootsy rock sound, the new album finds ‘mature’ – sound. And I’m fine with that.” into our catalog and play, I guess, a more What hasn’t changed is the quality of the dynamic set overall in two different sets,” Lucero in a more relaxed, slightly more songwriting. Songs from All a Man Should Nichols says. “The folks that wanted to spare mode.

“We were seeing how big and how loud Do, such as “Baby Don’t You Want Me” hear the really old, really quiet stuff, got we could get, and how many members we and “Throwback No. 2” retain the grit that that. And then you also got the rowdy could add to the band,” singer-guitarist has always been part of Lucero’s sound, drinking songs and rock & roll toward the Ben Nichols says. “And now, after going but they feature some of the group’s most end. So we’re hoping to kind of replicate through that process, we’re like all right, graceful melodies to go with their easy- that [on this tour].” we’ve seen what we can do. Now, what is it going tempos. There are also a few rockers music@orlandoweekly.com

The Acacia Strain Mixing doom, death metal and metalcore to create a furious storm, the Acacia Strain unleashed heater Coma Witch last year and will channel its tempest live.

6:30 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 2, at Backbooth, $15

Beth McKee’s 1st Thursday Songwriting Series If you’re trying to catch this month’s songwriting series (which features greats like Thomas Wynn and Shadow Pearson), make sure to note it’s at the new Sanford location of Smiling Bison for December.

8 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 3, at the Smiling Bison Sanford, free

St. Paul & the Broken Bones Don’t miss the impressive soulful force of this tremendously talented sextet, fronted by maniacal frontman Paul Janeway and touring on their 2014 debut full-length, Half the City.

7 p.m. Friday, Dec. 4, at the Beacham, $20-$30

Take it easy

Mac Miller One of the year’s most anticipated releases, Mac Miller’s hazy honest flow on GO:OD AM lived up to the hype despite its laid-back vibe, proving an addictive listen for anyone seeking a new drug.

8 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 5, at Hard Rock Live, $30-$40

I

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Obie Trice Set an alarm and prepare to clutch your head the next day when Niko Is and Palmer Reed open for super-fine rapper Obie Trice, in town on his latest release, The Hangover.

8 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 6, at Bullitt Bar, $10

Knocked Loose Listen to “D.T.A.H.” off Louisville hardcore band Knocked Loose’s split EP with Damaged Goods to realize the distinct chug of this jarring invader, opening for cherished Bradenton metal band Adaliah.

7 p.m. Monday, Dec. 7, at Backbooth, $12

Psychomagic This show will be the most absurdly fun time to be had this week for anyone who digs surfy guitars, sweet ’60s psych and trippy larks for lyrics.

9 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 8, at Will’s Pub, $5 ●

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AAHZ Reunion

BY B AO L E - H U U

Heads up, beauties, TLU’s on break next week because it’ll be our big, special silver anniversary issue, where we’ll be getting all meta with our coverage.

AAHZ PHOTO BY BRIAN MILLER PHOTO

The BeaT

It practically doesn’t get any more seminal in Orlando dance culture history than the AAHZ nights. Although the AAHZ reunions have always rekindled the primary fire like none other, there probably hasn’t been an edition as truly local in terms of music as the latest one, “These Are the Breaks” (Nov. 25, the Beacham).

The original AAHZ days, though absolutely foundational, were an elementary phase in the late ’80s and early ’90s that heavily featured European house sounds. But the breaks – a breakbeat subgenre braided of hip-hop, Miami bass and electro – was the Orlando sound, our original chapter and contribution to the EDM world. And when the breaks surged in the mid-’90s, it was the Orlando dance scene at its apex, when we weren’t just playing the leading sounds but making and exporting them.

When it comes to breaks, the names that really jump out on this heavyweight lineup are Icey and Stylus, the two DJs who actually specialized in the style. As the undisputed king of Florida breaks, Icey is the golden boy, the icon – and between all his records, remixes and label, rightfully so. But citations to him are ample in the annals. The official record, however, is a little unjustly thin on Stylus, who meant

If Icey was the Skrillex of the time, Stylus would be Diplo. just as much to bass heads who were on the scene back in the early and mid-’90s like I was.

Icey was the superstar household name that drew thousands to world-famous downtown nightclub the Edge (the cavernous building currently being renovated to become the Ace Cafe Orlando). But just around the corner at small local bass den the Abyss, Stylus rocked it for a more exclusive set. Having graduated from the glow-sticks-and-pacifiers rave phase, this was an Orlando underground beat society thick with the post-B-boy cognoscenti.

If Icey was the Skrillex of the time, Stylus would be Diplo. And to the true heads, Stylus was the Pied Piper.

While the other Orlando DJs on this choice AAHZ lineup – Icey, Kimball Collins, Dave Cannalte, Andy Hughes – became justifiably knighted into the house-music canon and continued to make high-profile appearances throughout the years, Stylus sort of evaporated. But to the original beat gangsters, his name is forever etched in bass, so it was especially great to see him on an all-star bill again. For me, personally and historically, that was the main event.

From the minute the doors opened, these guys went big and classic, with

a tag team of Andy Hughes and Stylus to blast it off. In contrast to Hughes’ fenceswinging, party-popping set list, Stylus went deeper and more obscure on sets that were less like a greatest-hits retrospective on a golden era and more like an actual late night from 1993, when downtown was underground and going subterranean was the entire point.

This is all very nostalgic, yes. But it’s certified with documented legitimacy. People talk about Orlando being a major player on the national music scene in far-fetched, just-for-conversation’s-sake tones, but we were exactly that during the ’90s EDM boom. National? Shit, we were worldwide in a way that can’t be fully fathomed unless you were around then. Can you think of anything here since – DJ, band, scene, whatever – that left enough of a mark in hearts and minds to be able to pull respectably at a venue the size of the Beacham almost 20 years after the rest of the world stopped listening? I can’t.

Though I exited this scene for reasons that are true – its eventual dilution and regression – this hall-of-fame lineup reaf reaffirmed that the reasons I got into it in the first place are truer. It was the Real Mac back in the day. And as removed as I am from it now, this night awakened some of that original fever. That bass-bumping pulse actually made me, for a moment, contemplate dusting off my trusty old 1200s.

Don’t worry, darling, I promise not to wake the baby. baolehuu@orlandoweekly.com orlandoweekly.com

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OUR PICKS FOR THE BEST EVENTS THIS WEEK

Wednesday, 2

Drunken Problem Solving: All the Holidays Edition If you haven’t made it to Lil Indies’ Drunken Problem Solving nights, you’re missing out on some hilarious conversation. The game plays less like a trivia night and more like a guided conversation with your friends. Host Trevor Fraser posits a hypothetical situation to the teams who sign up and asks them what kinds of problems might arise. The “best” problem in the first round then becomes the problem to creatively solve in the second. A recent session took the premise of a device that records memories and solved the resulting problem by training people to masturbate to C-SPAN, for example. As far as bar games go, it’s a unique experience that promotes interesting interactions with your friends, and we can’t wait to see what holidaythemed problems get solved at this iteration. – Thaddeus McCollum

CHRISTMAS IN THE PARK PHOTO COURTESY OF CHARLES HOSMER MORSE MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART KRAMPUSNACHT IMAGE BY JEREMY SEGHERS AND DENNIS HANSBURY

EVENTS

CHRISTMAS IN THE PARK

8 p.m. | Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave. | willspub.org | free Wednesday, 2

Thursday, 3

Silver Apples The alien electronic pop of Silver Apples builds sensationally with disruptive rhythms that baffle your toes, which hysterically tap like founding member Simeon is some bizarre minstrel hypnotist with his legendary homemade synth. Although the band’s output is limited – two sleeper favorites from the late ’60s, Silver Apples and Contact, plus comeback releases in 1998 (including The Garden, unreleased music from original duo, Simeon and Danny Taylor) – their jarring dance tracks like “You and I” and “Oscillations,” as well as curious covers like “Ruby,” struck a chord with experimental artists in the underground for decades following the duo’s disbanding.

When Simeon fell victim to a car crash in 1998, Silver Apples fans stressed his recovery, but he thankfully bounced back, like the world is truly the anti-gravity whirlwind he creates sonically.

He keeps Taylor’s beats alive (Taylor passed away in 2005 of a heart attack) electronically, now performing as a solo artist in Florida for the first time in ages (not to mention this is one of only two dates, not a tour, so thank the cosmos he sprang from he has ties here in openers Obliterati). Lucky, lucky us. – Ashley Belanger MUSIC

with Obliterati, Moon Jelly | 9 p.m. | Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave. | willspub.org | $10-$12

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Christmas in the Park If you’ve been to visit the Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art, you know that the collection of Tiffany leaded-glass windows it houses is spectacular. Once a year the museum takes nine of these precious windows, illuminates them and puts them on display outdoors in Central Park for the world to view while the Bach Festival Choir and Brass Ensemble performs a Christmas concert. It’s a surreal but gorgeous annual event to ring in the Christmas season.

It’s also a wildly popular affair – hundreds of people pack into the park with blankets, folding tables, wine and snacks to make an evening of it. People can start setting up any time after 4 p.m. to get a good view of the stage and ensure a space in the park, which is guaranteed to be standing-room-only (and even standing room is limited) well before the 6:15 p.m. kickoff. Word to the wise: Get there early. Bring lots of wine. – Erin Sullivan

EVENTS

6:15 p.m. | Central Park, Park Avenue near the intersection of Garfield Avenue, Winter Park | 407-645-5311 | morsemuseum.org | free

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KRAMPUSNACHT

Saturday, 5

Friday, 4

James Beard Celebrity Chef Dinner

Accidental Music Festival Presents Ensemble AMF The northward pull of New York on Orlando’s creatives is, well, magnetic, and Chris Belt, founder of the Accidental Music Festival, wasn’t immune – despite the fact that the new music series has continued here in Orlando, Belt and his wife, oboe player Beatriz Ramirez, have lived in NYC since 2012. Perhaps that has some slight influence on this show: “One of the themes for this whole season is New York composers. Almost everything that we’re doing has some connection to New York,” says Belt. AMF’s October presentation of New York-based quartet Yarn/Wire was rapturously received by those in attendance; like that concert, this week’s show includes a 21st-century piece by seminal New York composer Steve Reich (“2x5”) on its program, alongside other challenging modern compositions. Both Belts will perform as part of Ensemble AMF, along with percussionist Thad Anderson, drummer Nik Ritchie, pianist Jamila Tekalli and a player we’ve managed to wrest away from New York: new Orlando Phil music director Eric Jacobsen, on cello. Here’s to reversing magnetic north. – Jessica Bryce Young

There’s no shortage of amazing food events in Orlando, especially at this time of year, but this may be a tough ticket to top. On Saturday night, the Four Seasons Resort Orlando hosts an eight-course dinner prepared by 10 legendary chefs (including Top Chef vets Edward Lee and Tony Mantuano and James Beard Award winners Gerard Craft and Norman Van Aken) from across the country. The over-the-top feast is part of a James Beard Foundation celebrity chef tour. It’s got a hefty price tag at $235 per person, but that includes tax, gratuity and wine pairings by Four Seasons master sommelier James Tidwell – not to mention bonkers dishes like Lee’s seared ribeye with gochujang butter, grits and radish bottarga and pastry chef Stefan Riemer’s gianduja-citrus crèmeux with dehydrated milk foam and vanilla Chantilly. They say the best Christmas gifts are experiences, not stuff; if you can swing it, this dinner could be the best experiential gift you ever gave. – Jessica Bryce Young

EVENTS

MUSIC

JAMES BEARD CELEBRITY CHEF DINNER

8 p.m. | Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave. | willspub.org | $10-$12

Tuesday, 8

Saturday, 5

A John Waters Christmas: Holier & Dirtier

Krampusnacht EVENTS

8 p.m. | The Hammered Lamb, 1235 N. Orange Ave. | 407-704-3200 | thehammeredlamb.com | free

John Waters has been America’s favorite filthy filmmaker since the early 1970s, so at age 69 you might expect that the “Pope of Trash” would be taking it easy for the holidays. Instead, the near-septuagenarian has been all over lately, appearing on the recent season of RuPaul’s Drag Race and penning multiple upcoming books. And rather than putting up his feet (clad in fabulous slippers, natch) by the fireplace this winter, he’s hitting the road with a revamped reprise of his John Waters Christmas one-man monologue.

Waters, who last appeared in Orlando during 2013’s Come Out With Pride event, has been performing variations on this satirical seasonal survival guide for more than a decade. This year’s adult-oriented Holier & Dirtier edition promises to “put the X in Xmas” with a fast-paced filleting of beloved traditions, from Santa Claus to Christmas trees. Feel free to dress like the late Divine (Xmas was her favorite holiday) but leave the dog crap at home, even if it’s eggnogflavored. – Seth Kubersky

EVENTS

A JOHN WATERS CHRISTMAS: HOLIER & DIRTIER

7 p.m. | The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave. | 407-228-1220 | plazaliveorlando.com | $38-$48

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TIM DACEY PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT JOHN WATERS PHOTO BY GREG GORMAN

Basically the evil version of Santa, Krampus is said to visit homes on Dec. 5 to punish naughty children by giving them coal and swatting them with branches. Also, he looks like a medieval depiction of Satan, with fur covering his body and horns protruding from his skull, which is probably why he’s become popular enough in the U.S. to have an eponymous movie made about him this year. Local artists-atlarge Brendan O’Connor and Jeremy Seghers are throwing a Krampusnacht party at the Hammered Lamb to celebrate the vengeancebeast that’s full of dark-humored holiday fun.

Sing Krampus carols, participate in a Krampus costume contest or volunteer to be whipped

by Krampus, then have a seat (if you can) and catch a Krampus tale told by Phantasmagoria, Orlando’s premier goth steampunk circus troupe.

Stick around for an appearance by Father Christmas, but pick up some gifts for someone else from Myrcury’s Toybox or Deviant Dollz to get a head start on working your way off of Krampus’ list for next year. – Thaddeus McCollum

6:30 p.m. | Capa at the Four Seasons Resort Orlando, 10100 Dream Tree Blvd. | 407-313-6161 | jamesbeard.org/events | $235

tHe week

THEWEEK

submit your events to listings@orlandoweekly.com at least 12 days before print to have them included

Wednesday, deC. 2-tuesday, deC. 8 Compiled By tHaddeus mCCollum

Wednesday, dec. 2

ConCerts/events The Acacia Strain, Counterparts, Glass Cloud, Fit for an Autopsy, Kublai Khan 6:30 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $15; 407-999-2570.

Eugene Snowden’s Ten Pints of Truth 10 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free.

Liquid Spiral 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

Orlando Music Group Open Jam 10:45 pm; St. Matthew’s Tavern, 1300 N. Mills Ave.; free.

[MUSIC] St. Paul and the Broken Bones see page 41 Reggae Night with Hor!zen and DJ Red I 10 pm; The Caboose, 1827 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-898-7733.

Silver Apples, Obliterati, Moon Jelly 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10-$12.

Valencia Winter Choral Concert 7:30 pm; Valencia College Performing Arts Center, East Campus, 701 N. Econlockhatchee Trail; free; 407-582-2900.

opera/ClassiCal Winter Choral Concert 7:30 pm; Valencia’s choral students perform classical selections plus songs for the holiday season. The second half includes songs from Broadway shows. Valencia College East Campus, 701 N. Econlockhatchee Trail; free; 407-582-2900; valenciacollege.edu.

Thursday, dec. 3

Beware the Neverending, After Me the Flood, Wicked World, Don’t Feed the Birds, Invictus, Harsh 7 pm; Bombshell’s Tavern, 5405 Edgewater Drive; $6-$8; 407-730-3999.

Blind Joe, Elisium, Southern Gentleman, CJ Orazi, Skim, Beyond, Iesha Marie 7 pm; The Haven, 6700 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; $10; 407-673-2712.

Dance Gavin Dance, Slaves, A Lot Like Birds, Dayshell, Strawberry Girls 6:30 pm; Venue 578, 578 N. Orange Ave.; $17-$35; 407-872-0066.

Daryl Hall & John Oates 8 pm; Walt Disney Theater, 445 S. Magnolia Ave.; $59-$119; 844-513-2014.

1st Thursday Songwriting Series With Beth McKee 8 pm; The Smiling Bison Sanford,107 S. Magnolia Ave., Dave Sheffield Jazz Sanford; free; 407-579-0439. Trio 9 pm; Winter Park 38

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Beer Company, 1809 E. Winter Park Road; free.

Dustin Lynch 7 pm; House of Blues, Downtown Disney West Side, Lake Buena Vista; $24; 407-934-2583.

Juanes 8 pm; Hard Rock Live, 6050 Universal Blvd.; $44.50-$99.50; 407-351-5483.

Keith Harkin 7:30 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; $35-$50; 407-246-1419.

Kurt Travis (Dance Gavin Dance) DJ Set Midnight; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free.

Leisure Chief 10 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

Mike Zito & the Wheel 6:30 pm; Doc’s Streetside Grille, 1315 S. Orange Ave.; $20; 407-841-3601.

opera/ClassiCal Christmas Carillon Concerts 1 & 3 pm; Geert

D’hollander performs 30-minute Christmas music concerts on the 60-bell singing tower.

Bok Tower Gardens, 1151 Tower Blvd., Lake Wales; $12-$18; 863-676-1408; boktowergardens.org.

UCF Choirs Concert 7:30 pm; The UCF choir program performs a free concert. St. James Cathedral School and Assembly Hall, 215 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407823-1500; music.ucf.edu.

Friday, dec. 4

ConCerts/events 5 Billion Dead, Chemical Warfare (Slayer Tribute), Black Divination, Dylan Mathews & the Flips 8 pm; The Haven, 6700 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; $5-$7; 407-673-2712.

The Academy Is, Partybaby 7:30 pm; House of Blues, Downtown Disney West Side, Lake Buena Vista; $22.50; 407-934-2583.

Accidental Music Festival: Ensemble AMF Includes a 21st-century piece by seminal New York composer Steve Reich (“2x5”), alongside other challenging modern compositions. 8 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10-$12, $50 season pass.

Donald Glaude 9 pm; Peek Downtown, 50 E. Central Blvd. Suite B; $15-$250.

Dr. K & Friends Blue Jazz 8 pm; Chef Eddie’s, 595 W. Church St.; free; 407-595-8494.

Flying Horse Big Band Concert 8 pm; UCF Communications Building Auditorium, 4000 Central Florida Blvd.; $10; 407-823-1500.

Freestyle Takeover: Cazanova, Terminal Velocity, Evo, Addx, Luke Rodgers 9 pm; Bikkuri Lounge, 1919 E. Colonial Drive; free$5; 407-970-1777. cOnTinued On paGe 41

PHOTO BY DAVID MCCLISTER

ConCerts/events

Ancient Sun, Mic the Prophet, Pilotwave, Beartow, Henry Toland 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $5.

THE WEEK

ORLANDO

DEC 3

DUSTIN LYNCH

DEC 4

THE ACADEMY IS…

DEC 13

THIRD EYE BLIND

DEC 17

TORI KELLY, WALK THE MOON & SHAGGY

DEC 18

GUACO

DEC 20

KIDZ BOP KIDS

DEC 31

JJ GREY & MOFRO

JAN 22

THE WAILERS

JAN 23

MARIANAS TRENCH

Cocktails & Carols

Hysterical Tour of Gnomes Don a gnomish cap and traipse around downtown Sanford as this pub crawl takes you to hot spots like Little Fish Huge Pond, the Purple Grape, West End Trading Co. and Celery City Craft. 8 p.m. Friday; downtown Sanford, Sanford Avenue and First Street, Sanford; $15; sanfordpubinvasion.com

DRINK PHOTO BY JOHN MORGAN | O.A.R. PHOTO BY JOSH GOLEMAN

A Christmas Time With Tom & Dan The podcast heroes who love to have their listeners stuff our ballots during Best of Orlando voting every year take over Winter Springs’ newest brewery to hang out with listeners, drink some beer and sell some merch. 1 p.m. Saturday; Red Cypress Brewery, 855 E. State Road 434, Winter Springs; free; tomanddan.com

Cocktails & Carols Get classy for Christmas at this event that features a signature holiday cocktail crafted by Luma on Park. Each cocktail purchased contributes money toward CFLVocalArts and New Hope for Kids. To keep you in a holiday mood, Belles & Bows, an a cappella quartet, plies you with holiday carols.

6-9 p.m. Saturday; Luma on Park, 290 S. Park Ave., Winter Park; free; lumaonpark.com

The Approximately 12 Pubs of Christmas Pub Crawl This fundraiser for the Mills 50 Main Street District gets you special discounts at 13 bars along the Mills Avenue and Virginia Drive party district. Pick up a wristband at Wally’s or the Thirsty Topher, but don’t forget to leave Wally’s at some point. 8 p.m.

Saturday; Mills 50, Mills Avenue and Virginia Drive; $10; mills50.org

O.A.R. Feb. 26 at House of Blues Barry Manilow, Feb. 2 at Amway Center

Quintron & Miss Pussycat, Dec. 11 at Will’s Pub

JJ Grey & Mofro, Dec. 31 at House of Blues

The Delta Saints, Dec. 11 at Backbooth

Orgy, Jan. 8 at West End Trading Co.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Dec. 12 at Amway Center

Mickey Avalon & Dirty Nasty, Jan. 12 at the Social

Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine, Feb. 5 at House of Blues

Ani DiFranco, Jan. 15 at the Plaza Live

Trailer Park Boys, Feb. 13 at Backbooth Yanni, Feb. 13 at the Dr. Phillips Center

Michael McDonald, Dec. 15 at Hard Rock Live

Southern Fried Sunday 10 Year Anniversary: Reverend Horton Heat, Unknown Hinson and more, Jan. 17 at Will’s Pub

Matisyahu, Dec. 16 at the Plaza Live

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Jan. 20 at the Dr. Phillips Center

Shaggy, Dec. 17 at House of Blues

Galactic, Jan. 21 at the Plaza Live

Creed Bratton, Feb. 25 at Backbooth

Torche, Jan. 22 at Will’s Pub

O.A.R., Feb. 26 at House of Blues

Arlo Guthrie, Jan. 23 at the Plaza Live

Moody Blues, March 8 at the Dr. Phillips Center

Third Eye Blind, Dec. 13 at House of Blues High on Fire, Dec. 15 at the Social

Tribute to Jimi Hendrix, Dec. 18 at Will’s Pub Leon Russell, Dec. 18 at the Plaza Live The Outlaws, Dec. 19 at the Plaza Live Ben Prestage, Dec. 31 at Will’s Pub

Colin Hay, Jan. 30 at the Plaza Live Def Leppard, Jan. 30 at Amway Center

Europe, Feb. 4 at House of Blues

Mutemath, Feb. 19 at House of Blues Patti LaBelle, Feb. 20 at the Dr. Phillips Center Daley, Feb. 22 at the Social

They Might Be Giants, April 6 at the Beacham G. Love & Special Sauce, April 7 at the Social Stick Figure, April 7 at the Beacham The Used, April 19-20 at House of Blues Herbie Hancock & Wayne Shorter, April 20 at the Dr. Phillips Center Underoath, April 24 at Hard Rock Live Demi Lovato & Nick Jonas, June 25 at Amway Center

SPECIALS • OFFERS • UPDATES

Justin Bieber, June 30 at Amway Center

Less Than Jake, March 17-18 at the Social

Twenty One Pilots, July 1 at Amway Center

Logic, March 28 at the Beacham

Maroon 5, Sept. 9 at Amway Center

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House of Blues® Downtown Disney® West Side 1490 E. BUENA VISTA DR. LAKE BUENA VISTA, FL 32830 407.932.2583 HOUSEOFBLUES.COM/ORLANDO

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FRIDAY, 4

Pokemon: Symphonic Evolutions Do you want to be the very best, like no one ever was? Well, the only way you’re going to catch ’em all at the Dr. Phillips Center is by tuning your eardrums like a wild Audino to the sweet sounds of Pokemon: Symphonic Evolutions. The Orlando Philharmonic brings the house down like a Snorlax using Giga Impact, and the content spans every major injury in the franchise – so expect your favorite tracks in full force.

Bring your Squirtle Squad for the full experience, and take a Chancy on watching your favorite chirpy tunes evolve into full orchestral anthems like they were just hit with a Dawn Stone. If you end up wetting yourself from all the excitement, just tell the guy next to you that your trainer told you to use Water Gun. Don’t worry: Nobody will think it’s weird unless they take a Pikachu. – Adam McCabe

MUSIC

8 p.m. | Walt Disney Theater, Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, 445 S. Magnolia Ave. | 844-513-2014 | drphillipscenter.org

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Kalin and Myles: Crazy for Christmas 7 pm; The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave.; $20; 407-228-1220.

Lucero 8 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; $22$25; 407-246-1419.

Mango Beats 10 pm; Debbie’s Bar, 1422 State Road 436, Casselberry; free; 407-677-5963.

The Mellow Relics 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

Music Department Holiday Concert 7:30 pm; Valencia College East Campus, 701 N. Econlockhatchee Trail; free; 407-582-2900.

Octo Gato, Trippindales 9:30 pm; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060.

Our Last Night, Palisades, Hail the Sun, Picturesque, We Who Dare 7 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $15; 407-999-2570.

Queens of Noise: Funkbaby, Lola B., Foxforce005 10 pm; Sandwich Bar, 2432 E. Robinson St.; contact for price; 407-421-1670.

Renderglow 7 pm; Todd English’s Bluezoo, Disney’s Dolphin Resort, Lake Buena Vista; free; 407-934-1111.

St. Paul and the Broken Bones, Seratones 7 pm; The Beacham, 46 N. Orange Ave.; $20-$30; 407-648-8363.

Tantric, Black Jacket, Dark Summer, Dakota Black, In the After, Ebon Cross, Voodoo Hodown 6 pm; West End Trading Company, 202 S. Sanford Ave., Sanford; $16-$20; 407-322-7475.

Valencia Music Department Holiday Show 7:30 pm; Valencia College Performing Arts Center, East Campus, 701 N. Econlockhatchee Trail; free; 407582-2900.

opera/ClassiCal Christmas Carillon Concerts 1 & 3 pm; Geert D’hollander performs 30-minute Christmas music concerts on the 60-bell singing tower. Bok Tower Gardens, 1151 Tower Blvd., Lake Wales; $12-$18; 863-676-1408; boktowergardens.org. cOnTinued On paGe 42

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[MUSIC] Repeal Day and Will Walker’s Birthday With the Cook Trio see this page

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Christmas Vespers 6 pm; An elegant candlelit procession is followed by studentperformed Christmas carols, as well as scripture readings that reflect on the Christmas season. Rollins College, Knowles Memorial Chapel, 1000 Holt Ave., Winter Park; $10; 407-646-2000; rollins.edu.

Pokémon: Symphonic Evolutions 8 pm; Experience the evolution of the Pokemon franchise in this innovative video game concert. Walt Disney Theater, 445 S. Magnolia Ave.; $40.50; 844-513-2014; drphillipscenter.org. saTurday, dec. 5

ConCerts/events The Company 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

The Dealers, Blonk 9 pm; Copper Rocket Pub, 106 Lake Ave., Maitland; $5; 407-636-3171.

Dotcom 10 pm; Gilt Nightclub, 740 Bennett Road; $10$25; 407-504-7699.

H2O, the Attack, Boys No Good, One Small Step 7 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $13; 407-999-2570.

Hydraulix, Shade vs. Soltek, Prophet 808, J-Roc 10 pm; Native Social Bar, 27 W. Church St.; $10; 407-403-2938.

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Kansas 7 pm; The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave.; $39.50$199.50; 407-228-1220.

Kingofalldrunks, Bear Princess, the Jodones, Whiskey Faithful 9 pm; Uncle Lou’s Entertainment Hall, 1016 N. Mills Ave.; donations encouraged; 407-270-9104.

Mac Miller 8 pm; Hard Rock Live, 6050 Universal Blvd.; $30-$40; 407-351-5483.

Mannheim Steamroller Universal Studios, 6000 Universal Blvd.; cost of admission; 407-363-8000.

Ovation Singers Holiday Concert 7 pm; Osceola Center for the Arts, 2411 E. Highway 192, Kissimmee; $15; 407-846-6257.

Phil Dirt & the Dozers 7:30 pm; Wayne Densch Performing Arts Center, 201 S. Magnolia Ave., Sanford; $23-$30; 407-321-8111.

Propeller Anime’s Holiday Charity Party: Richie Branson, Sci-Fried, HDninja 8 pm; The Geek Easy, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park; $5; 407-332-9636.

Repeal Day and Will Walker’s Birthday Party With the Cook Trio 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10.

Rock by the Sea Xmas Party: Vic Scott, Paul Pfau, Steve Everett 7 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; $15; 407-246-1419.

Sunshine & Bullets, Moonmen From Mars, Moat Cobra, the

Glorious Rebellion, Black Divination 7 pm; The Haven, 6700 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; $5-$7; 407-673-2712.

Toranavox, Gillian Carter, Freakazoid, Dead Kids 8 pm; The Space Station, 2539 Coolidge Ave.; $5.

WJRR’s Holiday Ho-Down: Skratch n Sniff, Islander, Traverser, American Party Machine, Blaine the Mono 6 pm; The Barn, 1200 S. French Ave., Sanford; $12; 407-324-2276.

Young Dro 10 pm; Venue 578, 578 N. Orange Ave.; $20-$40; 407-872-0066.

opera/ClassiCal Christmas Carillon Concerts 1 & 3 pm; Geert D’hollander performs 30-minute Christmas music concerts on the 60-bell singing tower. Bok Tower Gardens, 1151 Tower Blvd., Lake Wales; $12-$18; 863-6761408; boktowergardens.org.

Christmas Concert 5 pm & 7 pm; The St. Luke’s choir performs Christmas classics as well as original renditions of holiday songs you love.

St. Luke’s United Methodist Church, 4851 S. ApopkaVineland Road, Windermere; $10; 407.876.4991; st.lukes.org.

Holiday Concert at Lake Eola 6 pm; The Florida Symphony Youth Orchestra performs cOnTinued On paGe 45

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a free holiday concert to benefit the Salvation Army.

Walt Disney Amphitheater, Lake Eola Park, Rosalind Avenue and Washington Street; free; 407-246-2827.

Sunset and Symphony Holiday Concert 6 pm; The Orlando Philharmonic Orchestra and the Singing Tower carillon perform together as flaming torches illuminate the Olmsted-designed pathways leading up to the 205-foot Singing Tower. Bok Tower Gardens, 1151 Tower Blvd., Lake Wales; $20; 863-6761408; boktowergardens.org. sunday, dec. 6

ConCerts/events Ancient Sun 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

Arts, Lake Sumter Community College, Leesburg; $15; 352787-3747.

Copeland, Eisley, We Are the City 5 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; SOLD OUT; 407-246-1419.

Christmas Carillon Concerts 1 & 3 pm; Geert D’hollander performs 30-minute Christmas music concerts on the 60-bell singing tower. Bok Tower Gardens, 1151 Tower Blvd., Lake Wales; $12-$18; 863-6761408; boktowergardens.org.

Heidi’s Hippie Fest: Unlimited Devotion, Groove Trunk 5:30 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10.

Mannheim Steamroller Universal Studios, 6000 Universal Blvd.; cost of admission; 407-363-8000.

Obie Trice, Palmer Reed, Niko Is 8 pm; Bullitt Bar, 33 E. Pine St.; $10; 407-839-0999.

Sanford Jazz Ensemble Christmas Concert 3 pm; Wayne Densch Performing Arts Center, 201 S. Magnolia Ave., Sanford; $15; 407-321-8111.

Sound of Sunshine Show Chorus 3-5 pm; Paul P. Williams Center for the Performing

opera/ClassiCal

Christmas Concert 5-6:30 pm; The St. Luke’s choir performs Christmas classics as well as original renditions of holiday songs you love. St. Luke’s United Methodist Church, 4851 S. Apopka-Vineland Road, Windermere; $10; 407.876.4991; st.lukes.org.

UCF Wind Ensemble: Chamber Music Concert 3 pm; Free chamber music concert from UCF students. UCF Visual Arts Building, 4000 Central Florida Blvd.; free; 407823-1500; music.ucf.edu. cOnTinued On paGe 46

PHOTO BY ADAM MCCABE

[THEATER] A Very Pepe ChristmaKwaanza-Kah Special see page 48

Andy McKee 7 pm; The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave.; $22.50-$32.50; 407-228-1220.

Control This!, Razorcombs, the Hoverounds 6 pm; Red Lion Pub, 3784 Howell Branch Road, Winter Park; free; 407-677-9669.

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cOnTinued FrOM paGe 45 MOnday, dec. 7

ConCerts/events Absinthe Jazz Trio 10 pm; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free.

Adaliah, Knocked Loose, Varials, Bodysnatcher, Entombed in the Abyss, Overheat 7 pm; Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $12; 407-999-2570.

Glass Animals, Gilligan Moss 7 pm; The Beacham, 46 N. Orange Ave.; $25$30; 407-648-8363.

Jazz Meets Motown 7 pm; Bohemian Hotel Celebration, 700 Bloom St., Celebration; free.

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Con Leche 10 pm; St. Matthew’s Tavern, 1300 N. Mills Ave.; free.

The Groove Orient 10:30 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-649-8540.

Jazz in the Courtyard with the DaVinci Jazz Experiment 7-9 pm; Cafe DaVinci, 112 W. Georgia Ave., DeLand; free; 386-873-2943.

Jazz Tuesdays 7:30 pm; The Smiling Bison, 745 Bennett Road; free; 407-898-8580.

Laney Jones and the Spirits 5:30 pm; Full Sail Live, 141 University Park Drive, Winter Park; free.

Music Remembrance Jazz Trio 8 pm; Paradise Cove Restaurant and Bar, 4380 Carraway Place, Sanford; free.

Reggae Mondae with Kash’d Out 10 pm; Tanqueray’s, 100 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-6498540.

A Night of Jazz 7:30-9 pm; Valencia College East Campus, 701 N. Econlockhatchee Trail; free; 407-582-2900.

opera/ClassiCal

Psychomagic, Tight Genes, the Welzeins, Buffy 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $5.

Silverstein, Senses Fail, Hundreth, Capsize 6 pm; The Beacham, 46 N. Orange Ave.; $18-$22; 407-648-8363.

Terror, Code Orange, Take Offense, Malfunction, Incendiary 6:30 pm;

Backbooth, 37 W. Pine St.; $15; 407-999-2570.

Twisted Tuesday With Raspberry Pie and Orange Squeeze 9 pm; Red Lion Pub, 3784 Howell Branch Road, Winter Park; $2 suggested donation; 407-677-9669.

See our club listings at orlandoweekly.com

ThEaTEr A Christmas Carol David McElroy plays 37 different characters in this one-man adaptation of the Dickens favorite.

Monday, 7:30 pm; The Abbey, 100 S. Eola Drive; $20; 407704-6261; abbeyorlando.com.

Clare and the Chocolate Nutcracker Take a journey with Clare through her enchanting dream as she travels with the Chocolate Nutcracker and the Sugar Plum Fairy to the Kingdom of Toys. Special appearance by Jasmine Guy. Saturday, 8 pm; Walt Disney Theater, 445 S. Magnolia Ave.; $25.25-$47.75; 844-5132014; drphillipscenter.org.

Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas! The Musical Discover the magic of Dr. Seuss’ classic holiday tale as it comes to life on stage. Part of Fairwinds’ Broadway in Orlando series. Tuesday, 7:30 pm; Walt Disney Theater, 445 S. Magnolia Ave.; $33.75-$93.75; 844-5132014; drphillipscenter.org. cOnTinued On paGe 48

PHOTO BY HANS-MARTIN ISSLER

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ConCerts/events

Radicalized Youth, Manny Urdaneta, Evil Virgins, Tears of a Tyrant 8 pm; Olde 64, 64 N. Orange Ave.; free; 321-245-7730.

Orlando Philharmonic: Bach’s Brilliance 6 pm; New musical director Eric Jacobsen conducts four renditions of Bach’s work on violin, harpsichord and flute. The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave.; $17-$54; 407228-1220; orlandophil.org.

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The Eve of Jackie Wilson A musical drama about the last night the famed R&B singer was heard before collapsing on stage and eventually dying. Thursday-Friday, 8 pm; Alexis & Jim Pugh Theater, 445 S. Magnolia Ave.; $45$65; drphillipscenter.org.

Forever Plaid: Plaid Tidings This musical comedy offers the best of Forever Plaid tied up in a nifty package with a big Christmas bow on top. Thursday, 2 pm, Friday, 7:30 pm, Saturday, 2 & 7:30 pm and Sunday, 2 pm; Winter Park Playhouse, 711-C Orange Ave., Winter Park; $30-$40; 407-645-0145; winterparkplayhouse.org.

The Gift of the Magi The story of Della and Jim, who are desperately in love with each other but also very poor. Based on the classic short story by O. Henry. Sunday, 7 pm; Historic State Theatre, 109 N. Bay St., Eustis; $7-$12; 352-3577777; baystreetplayers.org.

Guys & Dolls Nathan Detroit runs the biggest dice games in town while nightclub singer Adelaide waits for him at the altar. Thursday, 7:30 pm, FridaySaturday, 8 pm and Sunday, 2 pm; IceHouse Theatre, 1100 N. Unser St., Mount Dora; $9.50-$19.50; 352-383-4616; icehousetheatre.com.

License to Chill: A Holiday Show Standards, contemporary songs and holiday selections.

Sunday, 3-5 pm; VFW Post 2093, 4444 Edgewater Dr; $15; 407-900-3934; otschorus.com.

The Life Is a Dream Project A contemporary adaptation of Pedro Calderón de la Barca’s play about the differences between reality and illusion.

This play is performed in Spanish. Saturday, 8 pm and Sunday, 2 pm; UCF Black Box Theatre, Theatre Building, Main Campus; free; 407823-1500; theatre.ucf.edu.

Miracle on 34th Street A charming play inspired by the 1947 film about mail fraud.

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Friday, 8 pm, Saturday, 2 & 8 pm and Sunday, 2 pm; Garden Theatre, 160 W. Plant St., Winter Garden; $25-$33; 407-8774736; gardentheatre.org.

7:30 pm, Sunday, 2:30 pm and Monday, 7:30 pm; Mad Cow Theatre, 54 W. Church St.; $32-$45; 407-297-8788; madcowtheatre.com.

My Name Is Asher Lev Adaptation of Chaim Potok’s novel about a boy born with prodigious artistic ability into a Hasidic Jewish family. Wednesday-Saturday, 8 pm and Sunday, 3 pm; Mad Cow Theatre, 54 W. Church St.; $38; 407-297-8788; madcowtheatre.com.

A Very Pepe ChristmaKwaanza-Kah Special An allstar holiday variety show benefiting the Barber Fund. Monday, 9:30 pm; The Venue, 511 Virginia Drive; $15-$18; 407-412-6895; thevenueorlando.com.

National Theatre Live: Hamlet Benedict Cumberbatch stars as the Danish prince in Shakespeare’s masterpiece. Saturday, 11 am; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; SOLD OUT; 407-629-0054; enzian.org.

Orange Blossom Trail Living Nativity Spectacular Wanzie’s hilarious depiction of a Living Nativity as imagined by a ragtag crew of characters recruited from along Orlando’s infamous North Orange Blossom Trail. Saturdays, 7:30 pm; Footlight Theatre, The Parliament House, 410 N. Orange Blossom Trail; $18-$20; 407-425-7571; wanzie.com.

The Perfect Gift Stacia hates how the holidays are all about shopping and no longer about family and traditions.

Thursdays-Saturdays, 8 pm and Sundays, 4 pm; Marshall Ellis Theatre, 1300 La Quinta Drive; $15-$20; 720-989-3283; dangeroustheatre.com.

Peter and the Starcatcher A wildly theatrical, hilarious and innovative retelling of how a nameless orphan came to be the Boy Who Never Grew Up. Wednesday-Saturday, 7:30 pm, Sunday, 2 pm, Tuesday, 10:30 am; Orlando Shakespeare Theatre, 812 E. Rollins St.; $30-$55; 407-4471700; orlandoshakes.org.

The Secret Garden Mary Lennox, a young English girl born and raised in the British Raj, is orphaned by a cholera outbreak when she is 11 years old. Thursday-Friday, 7:30 pm, Saturday, 2:30 &

You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown Based on the comic strip by Charles Schulz, with book, music, and lyrics by Clark Gesner. Saturday-Sunday, 2 pm; Historic State Theatre, 109 N. Bay St., Eustis; $18-$21; 352357-7777; baystreetplayers.org.

ComEdy Best of the Jest Comedy Showcase Hosted by Devin Siebold. Tuesdays, 9 pm; Olde 64, 64 N. Orange Ave.; free; 321-245-7730.

Christmas Cards Against Humanity A holiday-themed sketch comedy show. FridaySaturday, 8 pm; Lowndes Shakespeare Center, 812 E. Rollins St.; $15; 407-340-8574; thehumormillorlando.com.

Craig Ferguson Former host of The Late Late Show.

Wednesday, 8 pm; Hard Rock Live, 6050 Universal Blvd.; $28-$43; 407-351-5483; hardrock.com/orlando.

Eddie Izzard The British comedy giant brings his Force Majeure show to Orlando.

Wednesday, 8 pm; Walt Disney Theater, 445 S. Magnolia Ave.; $39.50-$84.42; 844-5132014; drphillipscenter.org.

Gerrit Elzinga Brooklyn touring comedian headlines a slate of talented local comics. Hosted by Larry Fulford. Wednesday, 9 pm; Spacebar, 2428 E. Robinson St.; $3; 407-228-0804.

Ken Miller Toy Drive Donate a toy and get a free drink while enjoying stand-up comedy.

Monday, 9 pm; The Other Bar, 18 Wall St.; free; 407-843-8595.

tHe week

Miss Comedy Queen Holiday Spectacular Drinks, drag and lots of laughs. All proceeds benefit the Barber Fund.

Thursday, 7 pm; The Venue, 511 Virginia Drive; donations encouraged; 407-412-6895; thevenueorlando.com.

Shit Sandwich Probably the best comedy showcase in town. Show up early to grab a good seat. Saturday, 9 pm; Bull and Bush, 2408 E. Robinson St.; free; 407-896-7546.

danCE A Christmas Dance This Christmas celebration will feature ballet, liturgical dance, jazz and hip-hop while rejoicing in the celestial sounds of the holiday season. Sunday, 5 pm; Alexis & Jim Pugh Theater, 445 S. Magnolia Ave.; $25$30; drphillipscenter.org.

First Fridays Burlesque With the Black Garter Dolls A burlesque troupe specializing in variety acts, classic burlesque striptease, cabaret singing, comedy and more. Friday, 10 pm; The Caboose, 1827 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-3752501; blackgarterdolls.com.

Russian Ballet Orlando: The Nutcracker This performance is focused on incorporating the community, interacting with the audience and creating a family environment that every family can attend.

Saturday, 6 pm; Edgewater High School, 3100 Edgewater Drive; $20; 407-835-4900; russianacademyofballet.com.

arT openinGs/events 1st Thursdays: Art Under $200 The perfect event for art enthusiasts, collectors and holiday gift-givers of every sort. Thursday, 6 pm; Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave.; $10; 407-896-4231; omart.org.

Art for Christmas Browse the studios of 26 working artists while enjoying musicians and food trucks. Friday, 5-9 pm;

Faith Arts Village Orlando, 221 E. Colonial Drive; free; 407222-1231; faithartsvillage.com.

Bramson & Demeter Art from Michael Bramson and Brian Demeter. Opens Wednesday, 7 pm, through Dec. 31; The Hourglass Brewery, 255 S. Ronald Reagan Blvd., Longwood; free; 407-719-9874.

Holiday Hoopla Dan and Sandra Carr present 20 years of homemade holiday cards.

Opens Saturday, 7 pm, through Jan. 2; Lil Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free; willspub.org.

Orlando Drink & Draw A group sketching session at a local bar. Tuesday, 6 pm; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060.

Orlando Pottery Festival The perfect event for all you pot-heads (or ceramic enthusiasts of any type) out there. Saturday, 9 am-5 pm; Downtown Recreation Center, 649 W. Livingston St.; free; 407.246.4467; orlandopotteryfestival.org.

Rebels of the Modern Lecture Series: Cubism, Fauvism, Expressionism, Constructivism, Dadaism, Surrealism This discussion surveys some of the most important radical “isms” that ushered in the modern artistic vision of the 20th century.

Thursday, 7-8 pm; Museum of Art DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $5; 386-7344371; moartdeland.org.

Sight Unseen: Touchable Sculpture A sculpture exhibit based around the concept of touchable, hands-on, threedimensional art. Opens Tuesday, through April 17; Albin Polasek Museum and Sculpture Gardens, 633 Osceola Ave., Winter Park; $5; 407-647-6294; polasek.org.

Small Things Considered A group exhibition and holiday sale of art. Opens Friday, through Jan. 9; Arts on Douglas, 123 Douglas St., New Smyrna Beach; free; 386-428-1133.

Weronica Ankarörn: Scandinavian Light One night-only showing of paintings by Ankarörn. Friday, 5-9 pm; Faith Arts Village Orlando, 221 E. Colonial Drive; free; 407-222-1231.

ContinuinG tHis week 100 Years of Hannibal Square: Historic and Contemporary Photographs of West Winter Park Exhibition Through Feb. 21, 2016; Orange County Regional History Center, 65 E. Central Blvd.; $8; 407-8368500; thehistorycenter.org.

Animalia: Henry Horenstein Through Feb. 7, 2016; Southeast Museum of Photography, Daytona State College, Daytona Beach; free; 386506-4475; smponline.org.

Annual Holiday Sale Through Wednesday, 9 am-4 pm; Crealde School of Art, 600 St. Andrews Blvd., Winter Park; free; 407-671-1886; crealde.org.

Art on the Green Through March 1, 2016; Central Park, Winter Park, North Park Avenue and West Morse Boulevard, Winter Park; free; cityofwinterpark.org.

The Bride Elect – Gifts From the 1905 Wedding of Elizabeth Owens Morse TuesdaysSaturdays, 9:30 am-4 pm and Sundays, 1-4 pm; Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art, 445 N. Park Ave., Winter Park; $5; 407-6455311; morsemuseum.org.

British Invasion Exhibition Through Jan. 3, 2016; Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave.; $11; 407896-4231; omart.org.

A Brush With Light and Sound Through Dec. 20; UCF Art Gallery, 12400 Aquarius Agora Drive; free; 407-8233161; gallery.cah.ucf.edu.

C-Note Collection Through Jan. 8, 2016; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; free; 407-423-3060. cOnTinued On paGe 50

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[MUSIC] Dustin Lynch see page 38

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Celebrating 50 Years: Maitland Civic Center Through Jan. 3, 2016; Art & History Museums - Maitland, 231 W. Packwood Ave., Maitland; $3; 407-5392181; artandhistory.org.

VOICES

Tune in at 9:59AM every Thursday and Saturday.

One minute of controversy from Orlando Weekly’s Erin Sullivan & Billy Manes

Only on O 9 90.7 FM

Girls in Masks Ongoing; Stardust Doubleleg Gallery, 1842 E. Winter Park Road; free.

Choose the Wolf You Feed Through Dec. 11; Redefine Gallery, 29 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-648-7060; redefinegallery.com.

Happy Hour Tour of the Alfond Inn Wednesday, 5:30 pm; The Alfond Inn, 300 E. New England Ave., Winter Park; free; 407998-8090; cfam.rollins.edu.

Contemporary and Historic Landscapes Through Dec. 3; Art & History Museums Maitland, 231 W. Packwood Ave., Maitland; $3; 407-5392181; artandhistory.org.

Harold Garde: Mid-Century to This Century Through Jan. 3, 2016; Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave.; $8; 407-896-4231; omart.org.

Courage to Create Through Dec. 11, 6 pm; CityArts Factory, 29 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-648-7060.

HEAR OUR

Gallery Talks Wednesday, 1:30-2 pm; Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave.; price of admission; 321-363-4406; omart.org.

Enduring Documents: Selected Photographs From the Permanent Collection Through Jan. 3, 2016; Cornell Fine Arts Museum, Rollins College, 1000 Holt Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-646-2526; cfam.rollins.edu.

Esherick to Nakashima Tuesdays-Sundays, 10 am-5 pm; Modernism Museum Mount Dora, 145 E. Fourth Ave., Mount Dora; $8; 352-385-0034; modernismmuseum.org.

Fashionable Portraits in Europe Through Jan. 3, 2016; Cornell Fine Arts Museum, Rollins College, 1000 Holt Ave., Winter Park; free; 407646-2526; cfam.rollins.edu.

Introducing Zora Neale Hurston Through Jan. 15, 2016; Zora Neale Hurston National Museum of Fine Arts, 227 E. Kennedy Blvd., Eatonville; donations accepted; 407-6473307; preserveeatonville.org.

Jeff Whipple: The Distinguished Speaker Series Through Dec. 12; Alt_Space Gallery, 123 Douglas St., New Smyrna Beach; free; 386-4231753; artsondouglas.net.

Jess T. Dugan: Every Breath We Drew Through Jan. 3, 2016; Cornell Fine Arts Museum, Rollins College, 1000 Holt Ave., Winter Park; free; 407646-2526; cfam.rollins.edu.

Kohjiro Kinno Through Feb. 11, 2016; The White Wall Gallery, 999 Douglas Ave. #2221, Altamonte Springs; free; 407682-5343; thewhitewall.com.

La Creatura Through Jan. 16, 2016; Crealde School of Art, 600 St. Andrews Blvd., Winter Park; free; 407671-1886; crealde.org.

Live, Love, Laugh Through Jan. 31, 2016; Dandelion Communitea Cafe, 618 N. Thornton Ave.; free; 407-3621864; dandelion communitea.com.

Mary Whyte: A Portrait of Us Through Jan. 3, 2016; Mennello Museum of American Art, 900 E. Princeton St.; $5; 407-2464278; mennellomuseum.com.

MetaModern Through Dec. 6; Orlando Museum of Art, 2416 N. Mills Ave.; $8; 407896-4231; omart.org.

Mid-Florida Quiltmakers: Commemorations and Connections Through Jan. 18, 2016; Hannibal Square Heritage Center, 642 W. New England Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-539-2680; crealde.org.

Midway: Portrait of a Daytona Beach Neighborhood, 1943 Through Jan. 15, 2016; Yvonne Scarlett Golden Cultural & Educational Center, 1000 Vine St., Daytona Beach; free; smponline.org.

Mystery Sketch Theater Thursday, 8 pm; The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St.; $5 suggested donation; 407-423-3060.

Neighborhood ‘99: Midway Revisited Through Jan. 15, 2016; Yvonne Scarlett Golden cOnTinued On paGe 52

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Cultural & Educational Center, 1000 Vine St., Daytona Beach; free; smponline.org.

On Assignment: Robert Snow – At Sea With OCEARCH Through Feb. 7, 2016; Southeast Museum of Photography, Daytona State College, Daytona Beach; free; 386506-4475; smponline.org.

Sandro Chia: Fantasy and Myths Through Jan. 3, 2016; Museum of Art DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $10; 386-734-4371.

Sculptures by David Hayes Through Oct. 30, 2016; Museum of Art DeLand, 600 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $5; 386-7344371; moartdeland.org.

Second Nature: Brad Temkin – A Survey Through Dec. 18; Southeast Museum of Photography, Daytona State College, Daytona Beach; free; 386-506-4475; smponline.org.

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Selected Fine Art Faculty Exhibition Through Dec. 18; Anita S. Wooten Gallery, 701 N. Econlockhatchee Trail; free; 407-582-2298; valenciacollege.edu.

The Sum of Many Parts: Quiltmakers in Contemporary America Through Jan. 18, 2016; Crealde School of Art, 600 St. Andrews Blvd., Winter Park; free; 407-671-1886; crealde.org.

Tiffany Lamps and Lighting From the Morse Collection Through Jan. 20, 2016; Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art, 445 N. Park Ave., Winter Park; $5; 407645-5311; morsemuseum.org.

Two Points on a Plane: The Paintings of Charles Hinman Through Jan. 10, 2016; Museum of Art DeLand – Downtown, 100 N. Woodland Blvd., DeLand; $10; 386-734-4371; moartdeland.org.

Wild Is the Wind ThursdaysSaturdays, 11 am-4 pm; Snap Space, 1013 E. Colonial Drive; free; 407-555-1212; snaporlando.com.

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Young Urban Art Project Sundays, 3-4:30 pm; Source of Athletics, 1468 N. Goldenrod Road; free; 786-318-6525; childofthisculture.com.

EvEnTs Annual Holiday Craft Show Mondays-Saturdays, 11 am-6 pm and Sundays, 12-4 pm; Osceola Center for the Arts, 2411 E. Highway 192, Kissimmee; free; 407-846-6257; osceolaarts.org.

The Approximately 12 Pubs of Christmas Pub Crawl Purchase a wristband at Wally’s or the Thirsty Topher and get drink specials at 13 pubs along Mills Avenue and Virginia Drive. Saturday, 8 pm; Mills 50, North Mills Avenue between Weber and Montana streets; $10; mills50.org.

Big Bang Bazaar Holiday Spectacular A curated selection of over 100 local indie artists and crafters.

Sunday, 11 am-5 pm; Sanford Civic Center, 401 E. Seminole Blvd., Sanford; free; 407-3213828; bigbangbazaar.net.

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[MUSIC] Glass Animals see page 46

tHe week

Christmas at Gaylord Palms Larger-than-life decorations, visits with Santa, Cirque Dreams UnWrapped live show, ICE!, Alpine Rush snow tubing and more. Through Jan. 3, 2016, 10 am-8 pm; Gaylord Palms Resort, 6000 W. Osceola Parkway, Kissimmee; $28.99-$44.99; 407-586-4423; christmasatgaylordpalms.com.

Christmas at the Casa Guests can have photos taken with Santa, admire the beautiful Christmas decorations and enjoy a quartet of Dickensian Carollers. Wednesday, 6-8:30 pm; Casa Feliz, 656 N. Park Ave., Winter Park; $2 suggested donation; 407628-8200; casafeliz.us.

Christmas at the Leu House The 11-room estate is adorned with holiday trimmings, Christmas trees and unique decorations to inspire visitors.

Through Jan. 4, 2016, 10 am-4 pm; Harry P. Leu Gardens, 1920 N. Forest Ave.; $10; 407246-2620; leugardens.org.

Christmas at the Market Music, food and wonderful displays of holiday magic to decorate your home inside and out. FridaySaturday, 10 am; Renninger’s Antique Center, 20651 U.S. Highway 441, Mount Dora; free; 352-383-8393; renningers.net.

Christmas Blessing of the Pets Bring you pets and your family to a special day of appreciation.

Sunday, 12-4 pm; All Creatures Pet Grooming, 2411 E. South Street; free; 407-228-2855; allcreaturespetgrooming.com.

Christmas in the Park The Morse Museum lights up Tiffany windows in Central Park and presents the Bach Festival Choir. Thursday, 6:15-8 pm; Central Park, Winter Park, North Park Avenue and West Morse Boulevard, Winter Park; free; bachfestivalflorida.org.

A Christmas Time With Tom & Dan The podcast heroes take over Winter Springs’ newest brewery for a holiday party.

Saturday, 1 pm; Red Cypress Brewery, 855 E. State Road 434, Winter Springs; free; 407542-0341; tomanddan.com.

Cocktails & Carols Enjoy an a cappella quartet while sipping signature cocktails.

Proceeds from each cocktail purchase benefit local nonprofits Central Florida Vocal Arts and New Hope for Kids.

Saturday, 6-9 pm; Luma on Park, 290 S. Park Ave., Winter Park; free; 863-510 7236.

Florida Parkway; $100-$300; 941-677-7181; flcancer.com.

Diversely Geek’s Holiday Bash The gala and showcase consists of themed group cosplay presentations, musical performances, interactive dances, raffles and more.

Saturday, 6-10 pm; Gods & Monsters, 5250 International Drive; $10; godmonsters.com.

A John Waters Christmas: Holier & Dirtier The American treasure pokes fun at the holiday season with adult-appropriate humor. Tuesday, 7 pm; The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave.; $38-$48; 407-228-1220; plazaliveorlando.com.

Employee & Customer Appreciation Party Crazy drink specials and surprises. Tuesday, 8 pm; The Hideaway, 516 Virginia Drive; free; 407-898-5892.

Festival of Lights Drive around and look at lights.

Through Friday, 6:30-9:30 pm; Cypress Grove Park, 290 Holden Ave.; $3 per vehicle; orangecountyparks.net.

Holiday Boutique This festive boutique brings you hordes of unique handcrafted gifts made by Florida artisans.

Saturday, 4-8 pm and Sunday, 12-4 pm; Gateway Center for the Arts, 880 N. Highway 17-92, DeBary; free; 386-668-5553; gatewaycenterforthearts.org.

Hysterical Tour of Gnomes Stop into five different bars for five drinks on this pub crawl through downtown Sanford.

Friday, 8 pm; Downtown Sanford, Sanford Avenue and First Street, Sanford; $15.

Krampusnacht A night of dark Christmas revelry.

Saturday, 8 pm; The Hammered Lamb, 1235 N. Orange Ave.; free; 407-704-3200.

Leadership Winter Park Pancake Breakfast Enjoy a delicious breakfast and grab a great seat for the Winter Park Christmas Parade.

Saturday, 7-10:30 am; Central Park, Winter Park, North Park Avenue and West Morse Boulevard, Winter Park; $6.

Light Up UCF Winter carnival with ice skating, pictures with Santa, rides, games, movies and more. Prices for activities vary. Through Jan. 3, 2016; CFE Arena, 12777 N. Gemini Blvd.; free-$19.95; 407-823-6006.

Holiday Gift Fair Over 75 exhibits by local craftspeople and businesses. Saturday Dec. 5, 9 am-2 pm; St. Luke’s Lutheran Church and School, 2021 W. State Road 426, Oviedo; free; 407-365-3408.

Murder City Media Christmas Lights Photo Walk Join photographers of all skill levels for an evening of lights, fun and photography. Saturday, 7-10 pm; Park Avenue, Park Avenue at Morse Boulevard, Winter Park; free.

Holiday Home Tour at Pinewood Estate Includes admission to Bok Tower Gardens. Through Jan. 3, 2016, 10 am-5 pm; Bok Tower Gardens, 1151 Tower Blvd., Lake Wales; $20; 863-6761408; boktowergardens.org.

Repticon Orlando A reptile event featuring vendors offering pets, supplies, feeders, cages and more. Saturday, 10 am-5 pm and Sunday, 10 am-4 pm; Central Florida Fairgrounds, 4603 W. Colonial Drive; $10; 863-268-4273; repticon.com.

Hope Fore the Holidays Golf tournament benefitting adults with cancer. Reception included. Friday, 11 am; RitzCarlton Orlando Grande Lakes Resort, 4012 Central

Sherry Tasting Learn about and taste sherry, an underappreciated fortified wine.

Thursday, 6-8 pm; The Swirlery, cOnTinued On paGe 55

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1508 E. Michigan St.; $10; 407-276-6300; swirlery.com.

Sparkle Market Live music, local handmade gifts and delicious food. Sunday, 10 am-5 pm; Dandelion Communitea Cafe, 618 N. Thornton Ave.; free; 407-362-1864; dandelion communitea.com.

Tree Lighting Celebration Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer kicks off the holiday season with the lighting of the 72-foot Christmas tree. Friday, 7 pm; Lake Eola Park, North Rosalind Avenue and East Washington Street; free; cityoforlando.net.

[FILM] Uncomfortable Brunch Presents: Shortbus see page 31

Winter in the Park Enjoy ice skating in the middle of Winter Park. Fridays, 3-10 pm, Saturdays, 10 am-10 pm, Sundays, 12-8 pm and Mondays-Thursdays, 3-9 pm; Central Park’s West Meadow, North Park Avenue and West Morse Boulevard, Winter Park; $12; cityofwinterpark.org.

Winter on the Avenue Includes holiday tree lighting ceremony, carolers, holiday jazz and a window-decorating contest for Park Avenue businesses. Friday, 5-7 pm; Central Park, Winter Park, North Park Avenue and West Morse Boulevard, Winter Park; free; winterpark.org.

Winter Park Christmas Parade The longest running holiday parade in Central Florida travels down Park Avenue. Saturday, 9 am; Park Avenue, Park Avenue at Morse Boulevard, Winter Park; free; winterpark.org.

Wreath Display and Silent Auction Features wreaths designed from some of Florida’s top artists. Through Thursday, 9 am-5 pm; Harry P. Leu Gardens, 1920 N. Forest Ave.; free; 407.246.2620; leugardens.org.

LEarning Hour of Code In addition to self-guided tutorials, local technology leaders speak and developers walk participants through coding instruction. Tuesday, 4-7

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pm; The Dorothy Lumley Melrose Center, 101 E. Central Blvd.; free; 407-835-7323.

Tiny House Of Hope Join tiny house builder Robin Butler of Tiny House Of Hope as he talks tiny houses, the building process and his non-profit organization. Saturday Dec. 5, 2:30-3:30 pm; Southwest Library, 7255 Della Drive; free; 407-835-7323.

CiviCs Understanding Your Voting Rights Find out about voting registration, attacks on voting rights and the impact of voting on communities. Thursday, 6:30 pm; Hiawassee Branch Library, 7391 W. Colonial Drive; free; firedupflorida.org.

LiTErary Bizarro Fiction Reading Live readings from Christoph Paul, Leza Cantoral, Tom Lucas, J. Bradley and Patrick Scott Barnes. Thursday, 8 pm; Lil cOnTinued On paGe 56

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[THEATER] Peter and the Starcatcher see page 48

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Indies, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free; 321-230-3397; willspub.org.

Dr. Samadhi Artemisa Book Signing Celebrate the release of Dr. Artemisa’s first book, Healthy Eating, Healthy Living, Healthy You. Saturday, 12:30 pm; Edgewater Library, 5049 Edgewater Drive; free; 407-835-7323.

The S.A.F.E. Words Poetry Slam With Capi Ku A competitive themed poetry slam.

Thursday, 8 pm; The Milk Bar, 2424 E. Robinson St.; free; 407-896-4954.

Cracker Christmas This popular annual event features pioneer demonstrations, BBQ and campfire cooking. SaturdaySunday, 10 am-4 pm; Fort Christmas Historical Park and Museum, 1300 Fort Christmas Road, Christmas; free; 407-2549310; orangecountyparks.net.

Board Game Night Bring your own games or choose from tons of games available to play. Saturdays, 7-11:45 pm; Campus Cards & Games, 12226 Corporate Blvd.; free; 407-7303161; campuscardsand games.com.

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Central Florida Mah Jongg Experienced American Mah Jongg players meet weekly using the National Mah Jongg 2015 card and rules. Wednesdays, 10:30 am-2:30 pm; Tuscawilla Country Club, 1500 Winter Springs Blvd., Winter Springs; free; 561-704-9302.

Orlando Solar Bears vs.

Atlanta Gladiators Ice hockey.

Saturday, 7 pm and Sunday, 3 pm; $12.25-$44.75.

OUC Orlando Half Marathon & Track Shack Lake Eola 5K Enjoy a flat and fast course through downtown Orlando.

Saturday, 7:30-11 am; Lake Eola Park, North Rosalind Avenue and East Washington Street; $28-$95; 407-896-1160; orlandohalfmarathon.com.

A Toast to Tennis A day of cardio tennis and a mixed doubles round robin with prizes, refreshments, beer and good people.

Sunday, 3:30-5 pm; Fort Gatlin Park, 2009 Lake Margaret Drive; $15; 321-609-1186.

UCF Knights vs. Illinois Chicago Flames Mens basketball. Saturday, 7 pm; CFE Arena, 12777 N. Gemini Blvd.; $10-$25; 407-823-6006.

UCF Knights vs. UMass Minutemen Mens basketball. Tuesday, 7 pm; CFE Arena, 12777 N. Gemini Blvd.; $10-$25; 407-823-6006.

Yoga in Lake Eola Park This weekly yoga group meets either at the northeast corner of the park near Panera Bread, or at the northwest corner by the amphitheater. Sundays, 11 am; Lake Eola Park, 195 N. Rosalind Ave.; $5 suggested donation.

Yoga in the Pub Firefly Yoga Company takes over Rogue Pub for a morning yoga session followed by a complimentary beer tasting. Saturday, 9:30 am; Rogue Pub, 3076 Curry Ford Road; $15; 407-985-3778; fireflyyogacompany.com. n

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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Musical Do you recall the most famous orlando weekly ● DEC. 2-8, 2015

Santa Paws Have your dogs take a photo with Santa Paws just in time for Christmas. Saturday, 2-5 pm; Aloft Hotel Orlando Downtown, 500 S. Orange Ave.; free; 407-380-3500.

B3 Runners Group Multiple distances and skill levels with beer after. Wednesdays, 6:25 pm; Bikes Beans & Bordeaux, 3022 Corrine Drive; free; 407427-1440; bikesbeans andbordeaux.com.

The Rep’s Holiday Family Gala Enjoy holiday treats, an exclusive multi-item chance drawing, children’s activities, photos with Santa and a private performance of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer: The Musical. Sunday, 4 pm; Orlando Repertory Theatre, 1001 E. Princeton St.; $35-$65; 407896-7365; orlandorep.com.

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reindeer of all? Saturdays, Sundays, 2 & 5:30 pm; Orlando Repertory Theatre, 1001 E. Princeton St.; $14-$20; 407896-7365; orlandorep.com.

By R o B B R E ZS N y

ARIES (March 21-April 19) “Charm is a way of getting the answer ‘yes’ without having asked any clear question,” wrote French author Albert Camus. I have rarely seen you better poised than you are now to embody and capitalize on this definition of “charm.” That’s good news, right? Well, mostly. But there are two caveats. First, wield your mojo as responsibly as you can. Infuse your bewitching allure with integrity. Second, be precise about what it is you want to achieve – even if you don’t come right out and tell everyone what it is. Resist the temptation to throw your charm around haphazardly.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) I suspect that in the coming days you will have an uncanny power to make at least one of your resurrection fantasies come true. Here are some of the possibilities.

1) If you’re brave enough to change your mind and shed some pride, you could retrieve an expired dream from limbo. 2) By stirring up a bit more chutzpah than you usually have at your disposal, you might be able to revive and even restore a forsaken promise.

3) Through an act of grace, it’s possible you will reanimate an ideal that was damaged or abandoned.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) To the other 11 signs of the zodiac, the Way of the Gemini sometimes seems rife with paradox and contradiction. Many non-Geminis would feel paralyzed if they had to live in the midst of so much hubbub. But when you are at your best, you thrive in the web of riddles. In fact, your willingness to abide there is often what generates your special magic. Your breakthroughs are made possible by your high tolerance for uncertainty. How many times have I seen a Gemini who has been lost in indecision but then suddenly erupts with a burst of crackling insights? This is the kind of subtle miracle I expect to happen soon.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) In September of 1715, a band of Jacobite rebels gathered for a guerrilla attack on Edinburgh Castle in Scotland. Their plan was to scale the walls with rope ladders, aided by a double agent who was disguised as a castle sentry. But the scheme failed before it began. The rope ladders turned out to be too short to serve their intended purpose. The rebels retreated in disarray. Please make sure you’re not like them in the coming weeks. If you want to engage in a strenuous action, an innovative experiment or a bold stroke, be meticulous in your preparations.

Don’t scrimp on your props, accoutrements and resources.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) If you give children the option of choosing between food that’s mushy and food that’s crunchy, a majority will choose the crunchy stuff. It’s more exciting to their mouths, a more lively texture for their teeth and tongues to play with. This has nothing to do with nutritional value, of course. Soggy oatmeal may foster a kid’s well-being better than crispy potato chips. Let’s apply this lesson to the way you feed your inner child in the coming weeks. Metaphorically speaking, I suggest you serve that precious part of you the kind of sustenance that’s both crunchy and healthy.

In other words, make sure that what’s wholesome is also fun, and vice versa.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Your mascot is a famous white oak in Athens, Georgia. It’s called the Tree That Owns Itself. According to legend, it belongs to no person or institution, but only to itself.

The earth in which it’s planted and the land around it are also its sole possession. With this icon as your inspiration, I invite you to enhance and celebrate your sovereignty during the next seven months. What actions will enable you to own yourself more thoroughly? How can you boost your autonomy and become, more than ever before, the boss of you? It’s prime time to expedite this effort.

lulu E ig ht B a l l

By EMily FlaKE

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Police in Los Angeles conducted an experiment on a 10-mile span of freeway. Drivers in three unmarked cars raced along as fast as they could while remaining in the same lane. The driver of the fourth car not only moved at top speed, but also changed lanes and jockeyed for position. Can you guess the results? The car that weaved in and out of the traffic flow arrived just slightly ahead of the other three. Apply this lesson to your activities in the coming week, please. There will be virtually no advantage to indulging in frenetic, erratic, breakneck exertion. Be steady and smooth and straightforward.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) You will generate lucky anomalies and helpful flukes if you use shortcuts, flee from boredom and work smarter rather than harder. On the other hand, you’ll drum up wearisome weirdness and fruitless flukes if you meander all over the place, lose yourself in far-off fantasies and act as if you have all the time in the world. Be brisk and concise. Avoid loafing and vacillating. Associate with bubbly activators who make you laugh and loosen your iron grip. It’s a favorable time to polish off a lot of practical details with a light touch.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what’s out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it.” Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön said that, and now I’m telling you. According to my divinations, a new frontier is calling to you. An unprecedented question has awakened.

The urge to leave your familiar circle is increasingly tempting. I don’t know if you should you surrender to this brewing fascination.

I don’t know if you will be able to gather the resources you would require to carry out your quest. What do you think? Will you be able to summon the necessary audacity? Maybe the better inquiry is this: Do you vow to use all your soulful ingenuity to summon the necessary audacity?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) “Once I witnessed a windstorm so severe that two 100-year-old trees were uprooted on the spot,” Mary Ruefle wrote in her book Madness, Rack, and Honey.

“The next day, walking among the wreckage, I found the friable nests of birds, completely intact and unharmed on the ground.” I think that’s a paradox you’d be wise to keep in mind. In the coming weeks, what’s most delicate and vulnerable about you will have more staying power than what’s massive and fixed. Trust your grace and tenderness more than your fierceness and forcefulness. They will make you as smart as you need to be.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Aztec king Montezuma II quenched his daily thirst with one specific beverage. He rarely drank anything else. It was ground cocoa beans mixed with chili peppers, water, vanilla and annatto. Spiced chocolate? You could call it that.

The frothy brew was often served to him in golden goblets, each of which he used once and then hurled from his royal balcony into the lake below. He regarded this elixir as an aphrodisiac, and liked to quaff a few flagons before heading off to his harem. I bring this up, Aquarius, because the coming weeks will be one of those exceptional times when you have a poetic license to be almost Montezuma-like. What’s your personal equivalent of his primal chocolate, golden goblets and harem?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) “Unfortunately, I’m pretty lucky,” my friend Rico said to me recently. He meant that his relentless good fortune constantly threatens to undermine his ambition. How can he be motivated to try harder and grow smarter and get stronger if life is always showering him with blessings? He almost wishes he could suffer more so that he would have more angst to push against. I hope you won’t fall under the spell of that twisted logic in the coming weeks, Pisces. This is a phase of your cycle when you’re likely to be the beneficiary of an extra-strong flow of help and serendipity. Please say this affirmation as often as necessary: “Fortunately, I’m pretty lucky.”

Orange County Animal Services has a friendly dog who’s ready to find a loving new home. Meet Paisley (animal Id a336020)! She’s a 7-yearold, 21-pound pup who enjoys spending time outside. Paisley is a little overweight, but she still has a lot of pep in her step as she loves to run around in the play yard. She will benefit from an owner who is ready to provide her with some exercise and a healthy diet. Paisley knows how to sit on command, and she likes to eat treats in moderation. If you’re looking for a happy dog to join your family, adopt Paisley! During the month of December, Orange County Animal Services is reducing all pet adoption fees to $12. The $12 adoption fee includes sterilization, vaccinations and a pet microchip. orange County animal Services is located at 2769 Conroy road, ocnetpets.com.

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B Y D A N S AVA G E I’m a straight woman in my mid-20s. I’ve been dating a wonderful guy for two years – but I recently found something that has put me on edge.

Before we met, he was in a relationship with a terrible, alcoholic and mentally unstable woman. They got pregnant early in the relationship and stayed together for about five years. We met a year after they broke up. I felt like I’d come to terms with the ugliness of his past, with his trying to stay in a bad relationship for the sake of his child and the rest of it. But recently, thanks to the vastness of the Internet, I came across a suggestive photo of my boyfriend with his ex’s sister. I asked him about it, and he admitted to sleeping with her while he was with his ex. He says it was during a particularly bad period, he was very drunk, she made the first move, etc., but I’m just so grossed out. Cheating is one thing, but fucking your girlfriend’s sister? And it’s not like this was a 19-year-old’s mistake; he was near 30 and the father of a child. He also fudged a little about whether it was just one time or a few times. I feel like now I’m questioning his integrity.

This is something that I wouldn’t have thought him capable of doing. What do I do?

All Twisted Up

ship with a slightly older woman. I have a GGG girlfriend, and I am completely GGG – until we talk about having a MMF threesome. We have great sex and have experimented together. We tried playing with a couple to give her the “two-dick experience” she wanted, but the other man was of “average” size and she was not into it. I’m of average stature, and she made such a fuss of having someone extra large join in that it threw my hang-up about my size into overdrive. It’s paralyzed me sexually. I’m afraid she’ll leave me or run off looking to fulfill her need on her own.

Average Nerdy Guy Shunning Threesomes

If leaving you is the only way this woman can ever experience an above-average cock again, ANGST, then she might leave you. Depending on how important sitting on an above-average cock now and then is to her, your insecurities may create an incentive for her to leave you or cheat on you.

But if she can have you and all the good times and the great GGG sex you two have together – if she can continue to enjoy your cock and the things it and you can do for her along with the occasional ride on an above-average cock – then you’ve created a massive incentive for her to stay.

What do you do? You ask yourself if you

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believe your boyfriend when he says fucking his then-girlfriend’s sister was a mistake, one he deeply regrets, and one he never intends to repeat.

If you can’t be romantically involved with someone capable of such a terrible sister-fucking thing, the question is rhetorical. You’ll have to end the relationship regardless. But if you could stay with someone capable of such a terrible sister-fucking thing, and if you believe your boyfriend when he says it was a mistake, one he regrets, and won’t happen again, then you stay in the relationship.

And when you find yourself feeling squicked out by the knowledge that your boyfriend fucked around on his previous girlfriend with her own sister, you remind yourself that good and decent people sometimes do shitty, indecent, sister-fucking-ish things – and then you pause to consider all the shitty and/or indecent things you’ve done in your life, some, most or all of which your boyfriend presumably remains blissfully unaware.

It’s too bad that suggestive/incriminating photo is rattling around out there in the vastness of the Internet, but I’m curious about how exactly you “came across” it in the first place. If you went looking for dirt – if you were snooping – you found it.

Congrats. I’m not against snooping in all instances.

People often find out shit they had both a right and an urgent need to know: the BF/GF/NBF*/ fiancé/spouse is cheating in a way that puts you at risk, they’re hiding a secret second family, they’re attending Donald Trump rallies, etc. But just as often, we find out shit we didn’t need to know – something in the BF/GF/NBF’s past, something they regret, something they’ll never do again (do you even have a sister?) – and can never unknow.

You learned that your boyfriend did something pretty fucked up. Whether you decide to stay or go, remember that you snoop at your own risk – sorry, remember that you explore “the vastness of the Internet” at your own risk.

How bad is chlamydia? My gynecologist left me a voicemail, and I am terrified. A quick Google search told me that it can cause infertility if left untreated – what it didn’t tell me is how long when left untreated before it causes infertility? I told my boyfriend of 10 months, and he seems very sane about it. But I am terrified that he’ll leave me. HELP! Seriously Terrified Damsel

I’m a 37-year-old straight man in a relation-

mail@savagelove.net

Some time has passed between your letter arriving and my response appearing – so here’s hoping you called your gynecologist back and got the download and the treatment you needed.

Quickly: Chlamydia is a common sexually transmitted infection (STI), men and women are equally at risk, and it can be contracted through vaginal, anal or oral intercourse. Your Google search was accurate: Left untreated, chlamydia can cause infertility in women. But you’re not going to leave it untreated, right? Fortunately, chlamydia is easily cured. Unfortunately, most people who have chlamydia aren’t aware, as most infected people have no symptoms. That’s why it’s extremely important for all sexually active people – adults and adolescents – to get regular STI screenings.

Is your reproductive system already harmed?

You’ll have to discuss that with your gynecologist, STD, who is in a far better position than I am to have a look inside you. As for your boyfriend: He needs to get tested and treated too, and if his last STI screening was more than a year ago, it’s possible he infected you and not the other way around. If your boyfriend leaves you over this – if he blames you for something he may be responsible for – then he’s not someone you want in your life or in your twat. * Nonbinary friend.

On the Lovecast, Dan chats with writer Parker Molloy about relationships with trans folks: savagelovecast.com.

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Legal, Public Notices NOTICE OF SALE

Vehicles will be sold as is, no warranty. Seller reserves the right to refuse any bid. Terms of bids are cash only. Buyer must have funds on hand at time of sale: 1998 Toyota VIN# 4T1BG22K0WU263116 To be sold at auction at 8:00 a.m. on December 16, 2015, 7301 Gardner Street, Winter Park, FL. 32792 Vehicles will be sold as is, no warranty. Seller reserves the right to refuse any bid. Terms of bids are cash only. Buyer must have funds on hand at time of sale.

Constellation Towing & Recovery LLC

NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE OF PERSONAL PROPERTY Notice is hereby given that on Extra Space Storage will sell at public auction, to satisfy the lien of the owner, personal property described below belonging to those individuals listed below at the following locations: December 23rd, 2015 at the times and locations listed below.The personal goods stored therein by the following: 9:30a.m. at the Extra Space Storage facility located at: 1101 Marshall Farms Rd, Ocoee 34761 (407) 8770191 #D268-Cheryl Jean-Household items #I496-Jimmie Mitchell-two beds, living room set, furniture #A029-Ruthie Williams-Household goods #B153-John Deter-Household goods.

11:00a.m. at the Extra Space Storage facility located at: 5603 Metrowest Blvd. Orlando, Fl. 32811 (407) 445-0867 #5077 Sabina Busjith Household goods, #7011 Carolyn Rozier Household goods, #5019 Delroy Steele Household goods, #5166 Willie Gardner Household goods, #2277 Sandra Cameron Household Goods, #3022 Betuna Laplace Household Goods, #3014 Samantha Loreus Household Furniture, #6064 Michael Siddons Clothes, crib, #2265 Nekeia White Household goods, #2055 Carols Goncalves Household Furniture, # 2184 Dawn Weaver Household Items, #3020 Jose Farguharson 3 couches, dining table, king bed, cabinet, dresser, #2303 Joao Cruz Household Items, #6049 Tammi Mathis Personal items, bags and boxes, #2135 Derek Bluestein Boxes, electronics, #2039 Paskenzy Saint Amour Household Furniture, # 2091 Ervin Kenon Personal boxes, bags etc, #6084 Rev. Derek Sands Tools etc, #1002 Giselle Fils Household Furniture and items 12:30p.m. at the Extra Space Storage facility located at: 5592 L. B. McLeod Rd. Orlando, Fl. 32811 (407) 445-2709 #305 Veronica Valdez – household items #705 Antony Larry – Household goods #851 Ten 55 Productions Inc – household items #883 Sonia Bush – School supplies #203 Shareka Knight - household items #724 Terronce Pugh – household items #336 Deborah Browne – household items 1:30p.m. at the Extra Space Storage facility located at 3501 Orange Blossom Trail Orlando, FL. 32839 (407)839-5518 #4112-Nicole Ellis-Household Items #4104-Ashley Lopez-Household goods #1033-Lavon Cobb-Couch, Boxes and equipment #2096-Latoya WilliamsHousehold Items, Beds and Couches #1049-Amber Deters-3 beds, Stove, fridge, two dryers, washer, dressers, boxes, dining room table #4022-Barbara Manuel-Household Items #3074-Maria Catoni-Household Items #4086-Terrence Herring-Clothes and bags #4038-Hector Cruz- Personal items #3017-Scott Reid-Household Items 3:00p.m. at the Extra Space Storage facility located at: 1420 North Orange Blossom Trail Orlando, FL 32804 (407) 650-9033 #156 David Glicken-Furniture 4:00p.m. at the Extra Space Storage facility located at: 1001 Lee Rd. Orlando.

Fl. 32810 (407) 539-0527 2175 Kennard Mcalmont-Household items, 2093 Kimberly Shepard-Office, 3112 Tynisha Dunnell-Furniture and household items, 3017 Ricky Corbin-Household items, tools, clothes, 2099 Jason Molohon-Household goods, 2070 Chanena Thorne-Furniture, 3077 Antwanette Ancrum-Furniture, 3095 Peter Patrick-Seasonal items, 2091 Michael Rawls-Household goods, 1141 Rudolfo Sims-Household goods, 2012A Shawna Lane-Totes 11:00a.m. at the Extra Space Storage facility located at: 11971 Lake Underhill Rd. Orlando, Fl. 32825 (407) 380-0046 #106 Robert Burton – garage items, car. #218 Cynthia Howard – household goods, furniture. #320 Lorenzo Ferguson Jr. – furniture, boxes, household items. #1112 Aldo Facchinei – furniture, household goods. #1227 Daniela Segovia – bed, household items, little boxes. #1619 Edward Lewis – household goods, furniture. #2019 Valerie Placeres – furniture, household items 2:00p.m. at the Extra Space Storage facility located at: 13125 S. John Young Pkwy. Orlando, Fl. 32837 (407) 240-0958 #307-Linda Kranert-household goods,#123-Hazel Powell-household items,#720-Garvey Johnson-piano, cabinets, #1053-Crucita Sloan-household items,#100-Luis V Andrade-household items,#709-Keith Lock-personal items,#149-Diana Andrade-household

items,#1021-Agnes Feliciano-household items,#977-Maria Sanchez-household items,#601A-Yudelka Diaz-household items, #226-Ivelisse Torres-home items,#138-Katharine Hinton-home items.

The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY STATE OF FLORIDA JUVENILE DIVISION: 7/Latimore CASE NO.: DP14-464 IN THE INTEREST OF:K.B. DOB: 04/03/2009, Minor Child.

SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF TPR ADVISORY HEARING STATE OF FLORIDA TO:Tineka Stanley Address Unknown A Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above referenced child(ren), a copy of which is attached.

You are to appear on January 14, 2016, at 2:30 p.m. at the Thomas S. Kirk Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, FL 32806, before honorable Judge, Daniel P. Dawson, for a TPR Advisory. You must appear on the date and time specified. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THESE CHILD(REN). IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILDREN NAMED IN THE PETITION ATTACHED TO THIS NOTICE. IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR YOU MAY BE HELD IN CONTEMPT OF COURT.The mother/father are hereby advised, pursuant to §63.802(6)(g), Florida Statutes, that a parent whose rights have not yet been terminated has the right to seek a private adoptive placement for the child(ren), and to participate in a private adoption plan, through an adoption entity as defined in §63.032, Florida Statutes.

As required by §63.165, Florida Statutes, the Department further gives notice of the existence and purpose of a state registry of adoption information. The purpose of the Florida Adoption Reunion Registry is to reunite persons separated by adoption where both parties seek such reunion.

Persons affected by an adoption may list themselves and their contact information on the registry. Registration is completely voluntary. Additional information is available at http://adoptflorida.com/ReunionRegistry.htm. Contact information for the registry is as follows: Florida Adoption Reunion Registry, Florida Department of Children and Families,1317 Winewood Blvd., Tallahassee, Florida 32399-0700.

If you are a person with a disability who needs any accommodation to participate in this proceeding, you are entitled, at no cost to you, to the provision of certain assistance. Please contact Court Administration, 425 N. Orange Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801, telephone 407-836-2303 within two working days of your receipt of this summons. If you are hearing or voice impaired, call 1-800-955-8771. Witness my hand and seal of this court at Orlando, Orange County Florida on this 19th day of November, 2015. CLERK OF COURT By: /s/ Deputy Clerk Jill Fowler, Esquire, Florida Bar No.: 0045276, Senior Attorney for Children’s Legal Services, State of Florida, Department of Children and Families, 400 West Robinson Street, Suite N211, Orlando, FL 32801, (407) 317-7417 - Telephone (407) 317-7126 - Fax. NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE OF PERSONAL PROPERTY Notice is hereby given that on Extra Space Storage will sell at public auction, to satisfy the lien of the owner, personal property described below belonging to those individuals listed below at the following locations: December 30th, 2015 at the times and locations listed below.

The personal goods stored therein by the following: 12:00p.m. at the Extra Space Storage facility located at: 610 Rinehart Rd. Lake Mary, FL 32746 (407)-333-4355 0472-Angela Singleton-Household Goods, 0468-Charles Lightcap 111-Household Goods, 0666-Andrea Cunningham-Household Goods, 1046-Roger Holt-Household Goods, 0456-Frederick Overall- Household Goods,1018-Maryann Grant-Household Goods, 0449-Sergio Lowe-Household Goods, 0047-Isabel Alvarado-Household Goods, 0337-Ronald Orenic-Office Supplies, 0078-Miguel Machuca-Hosehold Goods, 1050-Mia Ira-Household Goods,2018-Darnell Harrison-Household Goods

Citation by publication Divorce The State of Texas TO: Lizzie Nicholas, and to all whom it may concern, Respondent GREETINGS: You have been sued. You may employ an attorney. If you or your attorney do not file a written answer with the clerk who issued this citation by 10:00am Monday next following expiration of twenty (20) days after you were served this citation and petition, a default judgment may be taken against you. Said answer may be filed by mailing same to: District Clerk’s Office, 301 Jackson, Richmond, Texas 77469, or by bringing it to the office. Our street address is 1422 Eugene Hiemann Circle, Richmond, TX 77469. We are located on the first floor of the Justice Center building. The: ORIGINAL PETITION FOR DIVORCE AND REQUEST FOR DISCLOSURE OF NICK JOSEPH FRANK, was filed in the 387th Judicial District Court of Fort Bend County, Texas May 19, 2015 against LIZZIE NICHOLAS, being numbered 15-DCV223557, and entitled IN THE MATTER OF THE MARRIAGE OF NICK JOSEPH FRANK AND IN THE INTEREST OF AUSTIN SONNY FRANK, MICHELLE VANESSA FRANK, TIFFANY GABRIELLA FRANK, MINOR CHILDREN. The suit requests DIVORCE. The court has authority in this suit to enter any judgment or decree dissolving the marriage and providing for the division of property which will be binding on you.The court has authority in this suit to enter any judgment or decree in the children(ren)’s interest which will be binding upon you, including the termination of the parentchild relationship, the determination of paternity and the appointment of a conservator with authority to consent to the child(ren)’s adoption. Issued and given under my hand and seal of the said Court at Richmond, Texas, on this the 14th day of September, 2015. DISTRICT CLERK ANNIE REBECCA ELLIOTT, Fort Bend County Texas, BY/s/ Ana Alas, Deputy District Clerk, Telephone (281) 633-7661, Petitioner’s Attorney: THOMAS A. MARTIN, ATTORNEY AT LAW, 1018 PRESTON SUITE 500, HOUSTON TX 77002, 713-222-0556.

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NOTICE OF SALE NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that the undersigned intends to sell the personal property described below to enforce a lien imposed on said property under The Florida Self Storage Facility Act Statutes (Section 83.801-83.809). The undersigned will sell at public sale by competitive bidding on Thursday the 17th day of December 2015, at 1:00 P.M., on lockerfox.com said property has been stored and which are located at: 3400 Forsyth Rd, Winter Park FL 32792 The Following: Name, Unit #, Contents: Evan Roberts, 215, Band Hero, Electronics, Household Furniture, Rugs Christopher Brown, 517, Fishing Equipment, Boxes, Household Furniture, Guitar Purchases must be paid for at the time of purchase by cash only. All purchased items are sold as is, where is, and must be removed at the time of the sale. Sale is subject to cancellation in the event of settlement between owner and obligated party. Dated the, 25th Day of November 2015 and, 2ND day of December 2015.

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Legal, Public Notices NOTICE OF SALE PERSONAL PROPERTY OF THE FOLLOWING TENANTS WILL BE SOLD FOR CASH TO SATISFY RENTAL LIENS IN ACCORDANCE WITH FLORIDA STATUTES,SELF STORAGE FACILITY ACT, SECTIONS 83-806 AND 83-807. CONTENTS MAY INCLUDE KITCHEN,HOUSEHOLD ITEMS,BEDDING,TOYS, GAMES, BOXES, BARRELS, GAMES, PACKED CARTONS, FURNITURE, TRUCKS, CARS, ETC. THERE IS NO TITLE FOR VEHICLES SOLD AT LIEN SALE. OWNERS RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BID ON UNITS. LIEN SALE TO BE HELD ONLINE ENDING WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 16, 2015 AT TIMES INDICATED BELOW. VIEWING AND BIDDING WILL ONLY BE AVAILABLE ONLINE AT www.storagetreasures.com, BEGINNING 5 DAYS PRIOR TO THE SCHEDULED SALE DATE AND TIME! PERSONAL MINI STORAGE EDGEWATER - 6325 EDGEWATER DR ORLANDO, FL 32810 - AT 12:30 PM: 0129 JAMESHA SHACORIA PARKER; 0240 MICHAEL JASON JONES; 0513 JASON CHRISTOPHER MARKS; 0720 SHAWN TRAVIS JOHNSON; 0737 ALEXANDRIA DESHAUNA COOPER; 0845 MARIA TELISHA HARRIS; 0847 MARIA TELISHA HARRIS; 0849 JOHN EDWIN STALZER; 0932 ROCHELLE LASHAWNDA BLACK; 0945 KEISHA SUKHDEO; 1109 SEAN L MILLS; 1111 DEBRA RYAN SIMMONS;1112 DIANA RIVERA; 1122 JEROME JACKSON; 1227 ANTOINETTE YVONNE QUEEN; 1510 SHAWN TRAVIS JOHNSON, ST JOHNSON MEDIA GROUP LLC; 1548 ARNETTE AVERY SEPULVEDA;1551 SHAWN TRAVIS JOHNSON, ST JOHNSON MEDIA GROUP LLC; 1607 ANTOINETTE YVONNE QUEEN; 1615 SHAWN TRAVIS JOHNSON. PERSONAL MINI STORAGE FOREST CITY ROAD - 6550 FOREST CIY ROAD ORLANDO, FL 32810 - AT 1:30 PM: 1027 GERALDINE ELAINE PENDER; 1033 BRIAN LEE WILLIAMS; 1065 PATRICIA HOLMES; 1070 DANIEL STEVEN CORCORAN; 1098 TAYNISHA GONZALEZ; 1098 IVONNE RODRIGUEZ; 1119 FRANK LAMBERT SNEED; 1129 SHAWN BROCK; 2053 STEPHEN ANTHONY BLAIN; 2065 VICKY LINN BARWICK; 2074 JOHN WILLIAM DETER; 3009 HARVEY L COLEMAN; 3139 SHALONDA MONTGOMERY; 3217 JACQUELINE JONES; 4005 RACHELLE LATA ALEXANDER; 4034 AIMEE MICHELLE ATKINS; 4048 TERELL LEE RHODES; 4051 ANGELO REGINALD; 4051 KEIRA PARKER; 4071 FANNIE MAE BILLINGSLEY; 4080 LAVANCE ANDERSON; 4123 JAMES LEE MERRIEL; 4126 ASHLEY LUQUOTA WHITE; 5028 SHARQUITA AMOS; 5034 CHASIDEI ARIELE CUTLIFF; 5054 HARVEY L COLEMAN; 5065 GEORGE LLENAS; 6008 HARVEY L COLEMAN; 6013 HARVEY L COLEMAN; 8019 DANNY GHIDEN/FELICIA GHIDEN.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA DIVISION: 07/Latimore/Pine Hills CASE NUMBER: DP12-362 In the Interest of B.W., female child DOB: 06/13/2011 , I.W., male child DOB: 03/07/2010 SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS STATE OF FLORIDA To: TRAVIS JEFFREY COCHRAN, Address unknown WHEREAS, a Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above-referenced child; you are hereby commanded to appear before Judge Alicia Latimore, on December 17, 2015 at 1:30 p.m. at the Orange County Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 E. Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806, for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY/ADJUDICATORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and time specified. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THIS CHILD (OR CHILDREN). IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILD (OR CHILDREN) NAMED IN THE PETITION. Pursuant to Florida Statute 39.802(4)(d), the mother/father are hereby informed of the availability of private placement with an adoption entity as defined in Section 63.032(3) Florida Statues, by including written notice in the summons served with this petition and at an advisory hearing if they are present for the hearing. Pleadings shall be copied to Kim Crag-Chaderton, Attorney for the State of Florida, Department of Children and Families, 882 S. Kirkman Road, Ste. 200, Orlando, Florida 32811.

WITNESS my hand at the Clerk of said Court and the Seal, this 17th day of November, 2015. CLERK OF THE CIRCUIT COURT (Court Seal) By: /S/ Deputy Clerk.

Notice is hereby given to the owners, lienholders, and other interested parties that the following described abandoned vehicles will be sold at auction for cash to the highest bidder at 2:00 pm, December 15, 2015 at 2851 St Johns Parkway Sanford, FL. 32771 : 2006 Jeep Commander 1J8HH58226C328244.

Seller reserves the right to reject any bid and the right to bid.

NOTICE OF ADMINISTRATIVE ACTION STATE OF FLORIDA, OFFICE OF FINANCIAL REGULATION J & J MULTI SERVICES CO., LLC Administrative Proceeding Docket No. 56606 J & J Multi Services Co., LLC and Jacques Jeanty and Jean Jeanty, individually 4300 South Semoran Blvd., Unit 102, Orlando, Florida 32822 YOU ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED that an Administrative Complaint (with Notice of Rights) has been filed against you by the State of Florida, Office of Financial Regulation, for failure to comply with certain requirements of Chapter 560, Florida Statutes.

As such, your written defenses, if any, must be received at the address provided below by 5:00pm ET, on Jan 1, 2016. (30 days from the first date published) TBD by newspaper FAILURE TO RESPOND AS PRESCRIBED will result in a default entered against you regarding the allegations and penalties contained in the Administrative Complaint, including but not limited to, a total administrative fine imposed of $52,300 and a 25 day suspension. A copy of the Administrative Complaint may be obtained from, and your response must be filed with the Agency Clerk of the State of Florida, Office of Financial Regulation as follows:GIGI HOLDER, Agency Clerk, State of Florida, Office of Financial Regulation, Post Office Box 8050, Tallahassee, FL 32314-8050, Email: Agency.Clerk@flofr. com, Tel: (850) 410-9889, Fax: (850) 4109663. A copy of your response should be sent to:Linje Rivers, Senior Attorney, State of Florida, Office of Financial Regulation, 200 East Gaines Street, Suite 550, Tallahassee, FL 32399-0376,Tel: (850) 410-9887.

Mo/day, mo/day, mo/day, mo/day.

NOTICE OF SALE

Notice of Public Sale: Pursuant to F.S. 713.78 on December 18, 2015 at 9:00 am, Riker’s Roadside Services, LLC, 630 E Landstreet Rd, Orlando, FL 32824, will sell the following vehicles and/or vessels. Seller reserves the right to bid. Sold as is, no warranty. Seller guarantees no title, terms cash. Seller reserves the right to refuse any or all bids; 2010 Nissan, Vin#3N1AB6AP2AL726947; 2001 Nissan, Vin#1N4DL01D11C208226; 1990 Chevrolet, Vin#2G1WN54T0L1127278; 2009 Nissan, Vin#1N4DL01D5XC190953; 1999 Chevrolet, Vin#1GCDU19W4YB205470; 2002 Chrysler, Vin#1C3EL46X62N315694; 1996 Dodge, Vin#1B7FL22P6WS740169; 1994 Honda, Vin#JHMEG1247SS006875; 1997 Ford, Vin#1FAFP13P4WW210164; 1997 Honda, Vin#1HGEJ8248VL054476; 2005 Nissan, Vin#1N4AL11DX5C189304; 2006 Volkswagen, Vin#3VW5F71KX6M750122; 1997 Ford, Vin#1FMEU17LXVLA82563; 2000 Chrysler, Vin#1C4GP44G7YB717035; 2003 Hyundai, Vin#KMHWF25S73A905277; 1997 Jeep, Vin#1J4FX58SXVC572766;.

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IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA Case No.: 2015-DR-17436 Division: 42 DIEUDONNE LANOIX, Petitioner and RENE L. LANOIX, Respondent.

NOTICE OF ACTION FOR DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE (NO CHILD OR FINANCIAL SUPPORT) TO: RENE L. LANOIX, MIAMI, FLORIDA, UNKNOWN.YOU ARE NOTIFIED that an action for dissolution of marriage has been filed against you and that you are required to serve a copy of your written defenses, if any, to it on DIEUDONNE LANOIX whose address is 6139 ROXBURG AVE, ORLANDO FLORIDA, 32809, on or before 12-17-15 and file the original with the clerk of this Court at 425 N. ORANGE AVE, ORLANDO, FLORIDA, 32801, before service on Petitioner or immediately thereafter. If you fail to do so, a default may be entered against you for the relief demanded in the petition. The action is asking the court to decide how the following real or personal property should be divided: N/A Copies of all court documents in this case, including orders, are available at the Clerk of the Circuit Court’s office. You may review these documents upon request. You must keep the Clerk of the Circuit Court’s office notified of your current address. (You may file Notice of Current Address, Florida Supreme Court Approved Family Law Form 12.915.)

Future papers in this lawsuit will be mailed to the address on record at the clerk’s office. WARNING: Rule 12.285, Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure, requires certain automatic disclosure of documents and information. Failure to comply can result in sanctions, including dismissal or striking of pleadings. DATED NOV. 3, 2015 TIFFANY M. RUSSELL, CLERK OF THE CIRCUIT COURT BY: YADIRA ACUILAR (CIRCUIT COURT SEAL) DEPUTY CLERK.

O R L A N D OWE E KLY.COM/J OBS CASTO is in search of a F/T Maintenance Supervisor. Must have 3+ years of experience in a similar role. Visit http://castoinfo. com/ for more information. Resumes may be sent to cmueller@castoinfo.com.

Kony Services, Inc. in Orlando, FL seeks multiple Sr. Technical Leads (#STL115/6) responsible for leading projects for clients.

Extensive U.S. travel required. Fax resumes to (407) 440-3738.

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Salon Chair Rental Rustic Industrial French design 10 chair salon has a few chairs to rent! Located in Winter Park just between 436 and 17-92.

A very warm elegant salon with lovely clientele just away from the crowded downtown area. Very roomy work space with a relaxed atmosphere and incredibly comfortable sinks your clients will enjoy not to mention a large parking lot to accommodate clientele. We are strictly a hair salon but have great neighbors down the way at New York nails for mani pedis!

J and Company Hair Studio is a must visit to truly appreciate the space you would be renting. Please email if interested in seeing jandcompanyhairstudio@gmail. com. If you stop by please ask to speak to the owner, Jennifer. Orlando’s best kept secret!

AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students.

Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563 (AAN CAN.)

Youth & Adult Referees / Officials, Dr. P. Phillips YMCA YMCA of Central Florida 6128844

Accounting Supervisor Orlando Federal Credit Union 6131056

Virtual Certified Latin Instructor Florida Virtual School 6128824

Database Administrator Lake County Schools 6130805

Traffic Control Specialist - Melbourne Area Wide Protective 6126715

Lab Specialist - Texture Painting and Sculpting Full Sail University 6129547

Teller / CSR - Lake Placid Harbor Community Bank 6129544

Groundskeeper - SEASONAL City of Orlando 6131245

RN Medical FT St. Cloud Regional Medical Center 6131243

CNA - Medical - FT St. Cloud Regional Medical Center 6131241

Director Estimating - Universal Creative Universal Orlando 6131220

Entry Level - Marketing / Management / Advertising / Business / Communication Degrees Marketing Consultants of Orlando 6131003

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Signal Inspector City of Orlando 6131161

Executive Assistant to the Vice President of Marketing Seminole State College of Florida 6129332

Fleet Management Superintendent City of Orlando 6131155

Inside Sales / Media Consultant VS Media Group Inc. 6130883

Paramedic (Full-Time Overnight position) Wet n Wild 6130924

Project Superintendent Central Site Development, LLC. 6130630

Landscaping - Gardener Universal Orlando 6131149

Physician Assistant - Mental Health IMPOWER (Intervention Services, Inc) 6125487

Workforce Coordinator Hilton Grand Vacations 6131148

Hiring Event Thursday Dec 3: Outbound & Inbound Vacation Sales Advisor Hilton Grand Vacations 6131147

Traffic Coordinator Enterprise Holdings 6130922

Engineer - Process / Product Development Dearborn Electronics Inc. 6130851

Lifeguard City of Casselberry 6131044

Associate Course Director - English Composition I Full Sail University 6131232

Nurse Practitioner - ARNP - NP-C Rita Laracuente, MD, PA 6130848

Intake and Placement Supervisor IMPOWER (Intervention Services, Inc) 6130810

Maintenance Controller National Airlines 6130451

Food & Beverage Service Team Lead-Villa de Flora -Seasonal-The Gaylord Palms Resort & Convention Ctr Marriott International 6130738

Pest Control Technician - Winter Garden HomeTeam Pest Defense 6130320

Cost Analyst Benada Aluminum Products, LLC 6129279

CORPORATE PAYROLL ASSISTANT Colorvision International, Inc. 6131229

Massage Therapist - On Call B Resort located in the Walt Disney World Resort 6129119

Cashiers/cook/Assistant Manager Team Staffing Services 6131112

Auto Body Estimator Dayas Custom Autos inc 6130918

Mail List Maintenance Analyst (Seasonal) Cru 6131083

Hosts/Hostess Tavistock Restaurant Collection 6131169

Administrator Payroll Systems Universal Orlando 6131219

Sales Manager - Florida Real Estate License Required Diamond Resorts International 6125556

Group Exercise Instructor, Osceola YMCA YMCA of Central Florida 6129342

orlandoweekly.com

Automotive Technician/ Mechanic Russell Automotive 6131111

Flat Bed Driver County Materials Corporation 6129070

Shuttle Driver Villas of Grand Cypress 6131135

Mover - Driver Two Men and a Truck - Central Florida 6130457

Cardiovascular Tech St. Cloud Regional Medical Center 6131163

Event Sales Manager - New Restaurant Opening Tavistock Restaurant Collection 6131146

Fish Worker Pro Image Solutions 6128087

Pizza Hut Shift Manager CFL Pizza 6127161

Bookkeeper Urban Carry Holsters 6131116

Foremen - Journeyman - Electrical Trade Millennium Electric 6130628

Auditing Specialist Florida Hospital Medical Group 6125476

Estimator Custom Metal Designs Inc. 6130813

Carpenter Ace Staffing Inc. 6130716

Safety Manager - Bilingual Jasper Contractors 6130742

Professor / Program Manager, Bachelor of Science Health Sciences (BSHS) Seminole State College of Florida 6129337

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Assistant Head Teller CFE Federal Credit Union 6131105

Displays Curator Merlin Entertainments 6131094

Maintenance Technician Needed - Drywall - Installation ComRes Ind., Inc 6128865

Pest Control Operator Walt Disney World Resort 6130378

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PHOTO VIA YELP PHOTO VIA FLORIDA STATE PARKS

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PHOTO VIA YELP

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

orlandoweekly.com

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DEC. 2-8, 2015

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ORLANDO WEEKLY

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JAN. 23-29, 2013 ● orlandoweekly.com