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ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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The droids you’re looking for: page 16

local Color: page 19

music + Nightlife: page 35

food + Drink: page 59

arts + Culture:

page 103

Sports + Recreation:

page 131

goods + Services:

page 147

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY

a long time ago ...

long time ago (well, May 16) in a City Beautiful, all of the stars geared up to fight a war … a war to see who was the Best of Orlando.

And now the people of Orlando have spoken! Read of their triumph on the following pages, where we list the victors in the many battles of Local Color, Music + Nightlife, Food + Drink, Arts + Culture, Sports + Recreation and Goods + Services.

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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We’d also like to hang medals around the necks of the following: Writers: Tyler Barney, Monivette Cordeiro, Faiyaz Kara, Seth Kubersky, Kyle Eagle, Bao Le-Huu, Thaddeus McCollum, Matthew Moyer, Xander Peters, Colin Wolf and Jessica Bryce Young ate, drank, danced, looked, learned and listened their way through the city for the past year to cull our Writers’ Picks. Editors McCollum, Moyer and Young also took on the herculean task of tallying our voters’ voices in the Readers Poll. Fact-checkers: Monivette Cordeiro, Larissa Hamblin,

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Paola Perez, Xander Peters and Megan Scavo Photos and design: Photographer Rob Bartlett, who took the out-of-this-world pictures, and Melissa McHenry who put it all together with flair Locations: Many, many thanks to the proprietors of Orlando Meats, Shots Bar, TopGolf, WestArt District and Woof Gang Bakery & Grooming Conway for allowing us to shoot our section openers in their establishments. Digital: … and Colin Wolf uploaded all of it to the website.

cosplayer profiles

Jedi, Poe Dameron The stars of our issue this year are the cosplayers, without whom none of it would have been possible. Endless gratitude to you, Rebels and Imperials both.

Storm Trooper Who are you? I am Ashley Kitzman-Ortiz Ball, born in Oahu, Hawaii. I attended the University of Central Florida, where I earned my bachelor’s degree in hospitality. Costume designing is my life’s passion. When I am not working on my latest creation, I help out as a seamstress with local theaters and enjoy being an entertainment professional throughout Florida. I love my friends, I crave a great brunch and I always keep an eye on the future. Why do you love Star Wars? My mother had a huge love for Star Wars. So naturally, as a child I was introduced to the fantasy worlds of the movie franchise. Luckily I was to be old enough to understand it and to attend the first theatrical showings of the second trilogy, The Phantom Menace. I have to be honest, I fell in love with the costumes more than anything – Padme Amidala especially caught my attention. Star Wars and its multitude of amazing characters and costumes fired my passion to want to create and wear them. The older I grew the more I loved the overall story and never ending characters from which to emulate. What is your favorite thing about Orlando? I love that Orlando is always filled with unique events and themed parties, it’s never boring. I meet so many amazing people from all over that are just as weird as me. How did you get started in cosplay? Like any child growing up, I wanted to wear the costumes that my favorite characters on the big screen were wearing. It wasn’t until my mother taught me how to sew that I realized I could make my wants a reality. I picked up the skills and made things that I always wanted. My first cosplay creation was Tia Dalma from Pirates of the Caribbean, and after wearing it to my first MegaCon in 2007, I was hooked. I love my attention to detail; I normally make costumes that are very detail-oriented and difficult to do.

vader

Who are you? I’m Kevin Ball, a Hollywood stuntman who has spent much of my adult life doubling famous actors and pretending to be characters created by professional writers. Though the movie world pays the bills, my second passion is working with global humanitarian organizations. I have been on location in over 30 countries across the world advocating for NGOs in the areas of human trafficking, humanitarian landmine removal and children’s surgical missions. Why do you love Star Wars? I saw A New Hope with my father in 1977 when it first came to theaters. I was 7 years old. Its stories and toys defined my young mind and became a permanent fixture of my adult life. To this day, over 40 years from the films release, I still collect items from the franchise, and I’m excited beyond belief to see new generations of Star Wars fans get lost as I did, in the “Galaxy Far, Far Away.” What is your favorite thing about Orlando? I’m a native to Orlando. As a teen I hoped to move away from my home like many youthful people do, but age brought wisdom to my young mind. Orlando is a cultural melting pot of ideals, passions, arts, food and love. I have traveled across the country and across the globe and have yet to meet our town’s equal. How did you get started in cosplay? Simply stated, my wife introduced me to it. It is an opportunity to shed your everyday image and to don a persona that can remove you from your normal routine. It’s adult dress up, and it’s fun.

Who are you? I’m Doug Merritt, Chosen One Cosplay (Instagram: @chosen1_cosplay) –husband, father, friend. Why do you love Star Wars? I grew up watching the original trilogy. I always loved What is your favorite thing about Orlando? Its diversity and creative spirit How did you get started in cosplay? Through a volunteer charity organization called Guardians of Justice, created to bring smiles to special needs children

r2D2 Who are you? My name is Aaron Barnhill. I am originally from Nebraska and moved to Orlando in 1984. Why do you love Star Wars? I love Star Wars for its action, adventure, romance, betrayal, and good triumphs over evil. I also love the toys that Star Wars produced, and how it affects lives in different ways: Like for me, Star Wars and the Southern R2 Builders gave me the inspiration to build a life-size R2-D2. What is your favorite thing about Orlando? Disney for one, and how much diversity Orlando has. How did you get started in cosplay? Well, R2 isn’t cosplay [Barnhill isn’t inside the R2-D2 suit; he runs it by remote control]. It is more of a hobby that brings smiles to everyone.

Kylo Ren (also BB-8’s “owner”) Who are you? Sam Falco, filmmaker, prop builder and costumer. Why do you love Star Wars? Star Wars for me is the pinnacle of what fantasy can provide. It whisks you away to an entirely different world full of bizarre and amazing things that both delight you and, at the same time, challenge you. What is your favorite thing about Orlando? My favorite thing about Orlando is easily the culture. There’s just an overwhelming sense of artistic liberty in this city that few other places have. You can drive down the street and see gorgeous graffiti art that has been left in place for years and become a staple of the community. Theater, film, painting, music, it’s all embedded into this town, and that’s fantastic to be part of. How did you get started in cosplay? I got started in cosplay as a result of my endeavors into filmmaking, I think. I would make props and costumes for projects I was working on, and really get a kick out of the stuff but I never had a place to showcase them. When I discovered the convention scene, though, that gave me this amazing opportunity to meet other artists like myself and actually show off this stuff I loved to make. It sort of just snowballed from there.

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY

readers poll

local color writers’ picks

BEST KEPT SECRET 1. Sanford, sanfordfl.gov 2. Central Florida Community Arts, cfcarts.com 3. Penguin Knife Fight, pkfimprov.com

BEST LOCAL ACTIVIST GROUP 1. Zebra Coalition, zebrayouth.org 2. Animal Rights Foundation of Florida, arff.org 3. League of Women Voters, lwv.org

BEST LOCAL BIG SHOT WHO’S NOT AN ELECTED OFFICIAL 1. John Morgan, forthepeople.com 2. Jim Philips, realradio.iheart.com 3. Daniel Dennis, tomanddan.com

BEST LOCAL CHARITABLE GROUP 1. Pet Alliance of Greater Orlando, petallianceorlando.org 2. Second Harvest Food Bank of Central Florida, feedhopenow.org 3. Zebra Coalition, zebrayouth.org

BEST LOCAL INSTAGRAM FEED 1. @OrlandoBungalower, instagram.com/orlandobungalower 2. @TomandDanOfficial, instagram.com/tomanddanofficial 3. @TheShittyBeautiful, instagram.com/theshittybeautiful

BEST LOCAL PODCAST 1. “A Mediocre Time With Tom and Dan,” tomanddan.com 2. “Scotch and Good Conversation,” scotchandgoodconversation.com 3. “What Ales Ya,” facebook.com/ whatalesyapodcast PHOTO BY MONIVETTE CORDEIRO

BEST FIGHT FOR A LIVING WAGE Disney union workers Battling a company worth billions is no easy feat, but the Orlando union workers at Walt Disney World are a scrappy bunch ready to brawl if it means putting food on the table for their families. The six unions that make up the Service Trades Council Union want a $15 living wage from the Mouse for cast members, and they’re willing to stop traffic with rallies to get their point across. Central Florida’s tourism industry has long been made profitable only by paying workers wages low enough to force them into poverty, and some people (thankfully) have had enough.

BEST SUMMARY OF I-4 ULTIMATE IN A SINGLE SIGHT

BEST USE OF AN ELECTED OFFICE

“Princenton” sign

In May, Orange County Mayor Teresa Jacobs and her fellow county commissioners unanimously approved a local ordinance that imposes a waiting period on firearm purchases at flea markets and gun shows so background checks can be processed – and it was one of the best uses of elected office we’ve seen lately. Why? Because they did it in the face of pre-emptive state law that says local leaders can be removed from office by the governor and be charged a personal fine of up to $5,000 if they pass legislation not identical to state firearm law. They did it anyway. Bravo, y’all.

I-4 Ultimate, the massive renovation of Central Florida’s automotive aorta, isn’t just a frustrating mess to drive through that increases traffic while decreasing public safety; it’s also a political boondoggle, already eight months behind schedule and $100 million over budget. And when it’s finally finished, the locals who suffered through the construction will only be rewarded by getting hit with more tolls for the use of “express lanes.” Which makes this exit sign that flubbed the spelling of Princeton Street an accurate illustration of the entire project: an expensive, stupid mistake.

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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Orange County Commission passes firearm ordinance

BEST LOCAL POLITICIAN 1. Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer, cityoforlando.net/mayor 2. Commissioner Patty Sheehan, cityoforlando.net 3. U.S. Rep. Stephanie Murphy, murphy.house.gov

BEST LOCAL PUBLICATION 1. Orlando Weekly, orlandoweekly.com 2. Orlando Sentinel, orlandosentinel.com 3. Edible Orlando, edibleorlando.com

BEST LOCAL RADIO SHOW 1. “Johnny’s House XL 106.7,” xl1067.iheart.com 2. “A Corporate Time With Tom and Dan,” acorporatetime.com 3. “The Philips Phile,” realradio.iheart.com

BEST LOCAL RADIO STATION 1. Real Radio 104.1, realradio.iheart.com 2. XL 106.7, xl1067.iheart.com 3. 90.7 WMFE, wmfe.org

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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local color writers’ picks

BEST RORSCHACH TEST Redesigned City of Orlando flag The new flag was raised just before last year’s Best of Orlando issue, so this award isn’t just to celebrate the new design. It’s more about the many interpretations of said design that we’ve encountered over the ensuing year, as we’ve all had time to see the flag out in the wild and let it really settle in. So, that graphic of the Lake Eola fountain – what does it look like to you? A pineapple? A plunger? A whale’s fluke? A mop? And the surrounding “O” … or is it a toilet seat? Your reading says more about you than it does about the flag, but in truth, we think we miss the old, Miami Vice-esque one.

PHOTO VIA ORANGE CREEK RIDERS ON FACEBOOK

BEST CONGRESSIONAL FOLK BAND Orange Creek Riders We prefer a little folk with our politics, and so does U.S. Rep. Darren Soto, D-Orlando, who’s the lead singer and guitar player for the Orange Creek Riders. Though they’re not the most prolific in terms of playing live gigs, it’s great to know at least one of our congressional leaders has some soul.

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY

local color writers’ picks

readers poll BEST LOCAL TV NEWSPERSON 1. Martha Sugalski, wftv.com 2. Amy Sweezey, wesh.com 3. Jorge Estevez, wftv.com

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD TO DRINK IN 1. Mills 50, mills50.org 2. Downtown, downtownorlando.com 3. Ivanhoe Village, ivanhoevillage.org

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD TO EAT IN 1. Mills 50, mills50.org 2. Winter Park, cityofwinterpark.org 3. Dr. Phillips

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD TO LIVE IN 1. Winter Park, cityofwinterpark.org 2. College Park, collegeparkpartnership.com 3. Thornton Park, thorntonparkdistrict.com PHOTO COURTESY OF WDWMAGIC.COM

BEST “CLEARLY YOU WANTED A HILLARY CLINTON ROBOT” ROBOT Donald Trump at Disney’s Hall of Presidents Immediately after Donald Trump’s inauguration, speculation began to swirl about how Disney would handle putting an audio-animatronic version of him into the Magic Kingdom’s Hall of Presidents attraction. Would they be able to get Trump to say anything coherent? Would the administration hold up production over robot hand sizes? But when the show reopened in late 2017 – reportedly delayed due to trouble getting Trump to sit down and record his lines – people were more surprised by the dissimilarity of the rubber visage to Trump’s actual face. Some said he looked like actor Jon Voight, while others suspected that the Imagineers may have started pre-emptively working on a Hillary Clinton ’bot before the election, only to have to pivot after the upset, a theory that the abject terror expressed in the android’s eyes supports.

BEST GUILT TRIP Carlos Guillermo Smith gets Publix to provide HIV prevention drug Publix faced backlash in early 2018 after officials from the Lakeland grocery chain confirmed employees were denied medical coverage for a pill that helps prevent HIV infections. Publix said it didn’t generally offer coverage for a medical condition that someone might get in the future, despite the virus continuing to ravage communities in Florida – especially Orlando, which is one of 10 cities with the highest rates of new HIV diagnoses in the country. State Rep. Carlos Guillermo Smith, an openly gay progressive Democrat from Orlando, called baloney on that logic, pointing to Publix’s medical coverage of birth control. After meeting with Smith, Publix reversed course and now covers the drug Truvada for use as a pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP).

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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BEST NEIGHBORHOOD TO SHOP IN 1. Winter Park, cityofwinterpark.org 2. Waterford Lakes, waterfordlakestowncenter.com 3. Winter Garden, cwgdn.com

BEST NEW THING IN ORLANDO 1. Topgolf, topgolf.com 2. Volcano Bay, universalorlando.com 3. The Nook on Robinson, facebook.com/thenookonrobinson

BEST ORLANDO WEEKLY EVENT 1. Orlando Beer Festival, orlandobeerfestival.com 2. Best of Orlando Party, orlandoweekly.com 3. Tacos and Tequila, orlandoweeklytickets.com

BEST PLACE TO SHOW PEOPLE THE REAL ORLANDO 1. Lake Eola Park, cityoforlando.net 2. Mills 50, mills50.org 3. Downtown Orlando, downtownorlando.com

BEST REASON TO LIVE IN ORLANDO 1. The culture 2. The people 3. Theme parks

BEST TWITTER FEED 1. @OrlandoWeekly, twitter.com/orlandoweekly 2. @AMediocreTime, twitter.com/amediocretime 3. @citybeautiful, twitter.com/citybeautiful

BEST USE OF PUBLIC MONEY 1. Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, drphillipscenter.org 2. Orange County Library System, ocls.info 3. SunRail, sunrail.com

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY

local color writers’ picks

PHOTO VIA MATT GAETZ ON FACEBOOK

BEST DISPLAY OF 1ST AMENDMENT RIGHTS Middle school girl gives Matt Gaetz the finger Eternal fratboy and freshman Congressman Matt Gaetz, R-Fort Walton Beach, took some time off from being Donald Trump’s favorite sock puppet on May 1 to speak to students at Shoal River Middle School in the Panhandle. We’re guessing the speech wasn’t about the importance of International Workers’ Day, but he did snap a candid selfie in front of an assembly of students and post it to his social media, only to discover that a girl in the front row was giving him the age-old middle-finger salute. To his credit, Gaetz was magnanimous in his response, saying, “Her congressman has also had an occasional lapse of judgment as a middle schooler.” Apparently he forgot more recent lapses in judgment like referring to his own constituents as “professional liberal protestors,” proposing legislation to abolish the EPA, or backing up Trump’s denigration of “shithole countries” – or doesn’t think they count as such. We disagree, and salute him with all due respect.

BEST INFLUENCER Lindsey Thompson lemonhearted.com She’ll probably cringe at the term “influencer” when she reads this, but the word describes what Thompson’s Lemonhearted blog and Instagram feed accomplish much more aptly than most who claim the badge – that is, Lemonhearted actually influences our behavior. Thompson’s enthusiastic recommendations for Orlando and Central Florida food trucks, coffee shops, road trips and the like are spot-on – as is her real talk about the places that don’t meet her standards – refreshing in a field where many recommendations are mindless bandwagonism or, worse, unrevealed pay-for-play.

BEST “YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO HOME, BUT YOU CAN’T STAY HERE” FEMA On again, off again – it’s a good thing FEMA doesn’t treat the Puerto Ricans displaced by Hurricane Maria like our ex-relationships. Oh wait, they do. Most recently, we saw this happen when FEMA said they would no longer pay for Puerto Rican evacuees’ hotel rooms past June 30. However, a federal judge in Massachusetts stepped in, barring FEMA from ending the sheltering assistance program that’s providing the displaced American citizens with temporary homes.

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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local color writers’ picks

PHOTO BY JOEY ROULETTE

BEST PLACE TO LIE DOWN Publix There’s no better way to get people to listen than by lying down in front of their bacon and eggs. After reports revealed Publix gave an unprecedented amount of contributions to selfdescribed “proud NRA sellout” Adam Putnam in his bid for Florida governor, survivors of the Parkland high school mass shooting called for die-ins at Publix stores, including in Orlando, where about 15 people staged a die-in at a Publix in Colonialtown. Although the protests were met with derision and hostility by some “shoppers” (or maybe they just really needed to get to that bacon), the grocery chain later decided to suspend all future political contributions.

BEST DÉJÀ VU Alan Grayson campaign Here we go again, watching former U.S. Rep. Alan Grayson trying to fe-fi-fo-fum his way back into Congress and the hearts of constituents. This time, though, he has his sights set on the blood of an Englishman, er, that is, U.S. Rep. Darren Soto, who currently holds Grayson’s former seat. Watching Grayson try to out-Grayson himself hasn’t been a pretty sight, from the former congressman allegedly hiring paid protesters at Soto rallies (fake news!) to calling for the president’s impeachment before he’s even won the primary … but we gotta admit that Alan was damned effective in the House, when he put his mind to business other than antagonizing everyone in sight.

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY

readers poll

muSic+nighT Life writers’ picks

BEST BAR 1. Will’s Pub, willspub.org 2. The Guesthouse 3. Mathers Social Gathering, mathersorlando.com

BEST BAR PATIO 1. World of Beer Lake Eola, worldofbeer.com 2. The Hammered Lamb, thehammeredlamb.com 3. Eden Bar, enzian.org

BEST BAR TO PLAY POOL 1. Sportstown, sportstownbilliards.com 2. Trick Shots Billiards, trickshotsbilliards.com 3. Spatz, facebook.com/spatz1025

BEST BARTENDER 1. Jen Harton, Lil Indies, facebook.com/lilindiesorlando 2. Rick Big, The Thirsty Topher, thethirstytopher.com 3. Lee Courtley, Independent Bar, independentbar.net

BEST CLUB DJ 1. DJ BMF, mixcloud.com/djbmf 2. DJ Ponyboy, facebook.com/ponyboydj 3. Matt Roquentin Lament

BEST CLUB NIGHT 1. ’80s New Wave Night at Independent Bar, independentbar.net 2. Mac & Cheese, independentbar.net 3. Girl the Party, girltheparty.com

BEST CRAFT BEER BAR PHOTO BY MATTHEW WELLER

BEST LUST FOR LIFE Lana Del Rey at Amway Center Friday, Feb. 2, 2018 In February, Lana Del Rey brought her melancholy magic to the Amway Center as part of her nationwide “L.A. to the Moon” tour. After R&B up-andcomer Kali Uchis set the stage for the evening, everyone’s favorite sadgirl delivered a performance worth the four-year wait since her last Orlando visit. Flanked by a full band and an impressive beach-themed backdrop, the dismal diva sprinkled her career-spanning set with a few surprises (including a breathy rendition of “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” which she clarified was dedicated to JFK). As always, Lana gave us a reason to smile through the tears.

BEST TEACH THE PUNKS TO DANCE Guests at Stardust Video & Coffee Thursday, Feb. 22, 2018 A vanload of spiky punks assemble on stage at Stardust, exchange furtive glances and then burst into … Discharge-style rage? Nope, how about silky-smooth New Romantic anthems redolent of Talk Talk, Japan and Arcadia? Oh, and with a staunchly leftist, socialist message? Pinch us in the studded shoulder pads of our linen blazer, we must have been dreaming. Basically the photo negative of Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, Guests are impassioned young punks who use the sleek sonic excesses of new wave to deliver their message. And they had a young, full house at Stardust enraptured.

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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1. Redlight Redlight, facebook.com/redlightredlight 2. Crooked Can Brewing Co., crookedcan.com 3. Hourglass Brewing, hourglassbrewing.com

BEST CRAFT COCKTAIL BAR 1. Lil Indies, facebook.com/lilindiesorlando 2. The Guesthouse 3. Mathers Social Gathering, mathersorlando.com

BEST DANCE CLUB 1. Independent Bar, independentbar.net 2. Parliament House, parliamenthouse.com 3. Cowboys Orlando, cowboysorlando.com

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY

muSic+ nighT Life

writers’ picks

readers poll BEST DIVE BAR 1. Wally’s, wallysonmills.com 2. The Hideaway Bar, thehideawaybar.net 3. Tanqueray’s, facebook.com/tanqueraysbar

BEST DRAG NIGHT 1. Hamburger Mary’s Brunch, hamburgermarys.com 2. Southern Nights, facebook.com/ southernnightsorlando 3. Parliament House, parliamenthouse.com

BEST GAY BAR 1. Southern Nights, facebook.com/ southernnightsorlando 2. Parliament House, parliamenthouse.com 3. Saint Matthew’s Tavern, stmatthewstavern.com PHOTO BY JEN CRAY

BEST MIC DROP JPEGMafia at Will’s Pub Tuesday, Feb. 20, 2018 Similar to the fateful 1991 tour when Nirvana opened for Red Hot Chili Peppers just as “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was going supernova, so it was that by the time the Milo/JPEGMafia touring tandem hit Will’s Pub, the buzz around JPEG’s new album, Veteran, was deafening. And, you know what, sometimes you have to believe the hype. From the first song, the Baltimore noise-rap maestro was on the floor and in the crowd, the audience tightly circled around him. The fiery young MC dropped lyrics referencing Trump, Morrissey, Burzum and white gentrification against discordant soundscapes and trap beats as sweat flew off him and the equally young crowd around him exploded. Thirty minutes later, we were all just as exhilarated.

BEST REALLY BIG BAND Sixty guitars celebrate 60 years of Patrick Greene Gallery at Avalon Island, Jan. 13, 2018 The 60-person Guitar Orchestra was an event comparable to Art Kane’s classic “A Great Day in Harlem” photograph. On a cold Saturday morning in January, a small army of guitar-packing locals assembled at the Gallery at Avalon Island to celebrate the 60th birthday of Patrick Greene, the gallery’s director. What unfolded was a great moment of communal music-making from the greater creative community at large: members of Obliterati, the New Sam Rivers Rivbea Orchestra, Tiger Fawn, Moon Jelly, Robotman, Steve Garron, Absolute Fantasy, Lush Agave, the Legendary JC’s, Benoit Glazer, Acoqui, and a number of writers, visual artists and organizers, all under the calm and patient direction of conductorcomposer Chris Belt. The experience of the music was as ethereal as the chilly morning. Big-city and fun. A great day in Orlando, indeed.

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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BEST HAPPY HOUR 1. Santiago’s Bodega, santiagosbodega.com 2. The Guesthouse 3. The Ravenous Pig, theravenouspig.com

BEST KARAOKE 1. Big Daddy’s Roadhouse, bigdaddysorlando.com 2. Oral Frier, The Geek Easy, facebook.com/thegeekeasy 3. (tie) Korndogg Karaoke, kegorlando.com 3. (tie) O’Shucks Pub, oshuckspub.com

BEST LIVE MUSIC CLUB 1. Will’s Pub, willspub.org 2. The Social, thesocial.org 3. House of Blues, houseofblues.com

BEST OPEN MIC 1. Austin’s Coffee, austinscoffee.com 2. Orlando Improv, theimprovorlando.com 3. The Falcon, facebook.com/ thefalconbar

BEST PUB 1. Fiddler’s Green, fiddlersgreen.pub 2. Claddagh Cottage Irish Pub, facebook.com/claddaghcottagepub 3. The Harp and Celt, harpandcelt.com

BEST SPORTS BAR 1. Miller’s Ale House, millersalehouse.com 2. The Hideaway Bar, thehideawaybar.net 3. The Porch, theporchwinterpark.com

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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muSic+nighT Life writers’ picks

PHOTO BY DANIELLE PETROSA

BEST KIDS ARE ALRIGHT SADIE at Stardust Video & Coffee Sunday, Jan. 7, 2018 Have you ever seen the future coming straight for you like a runaway train? A packed house at Stardust Video & Coffee did when 5-year-old SADIE from Ohio kicked off the New Year with a set of improvised, straight-up snotty but joyous “skull rock.” Accompanied by a drum machine and sampler, SADIE howled and stomped her way through future hits like “Werewolf Moon” like a preschool Suicide or Screamers. Suddenly every musician present – and there were quite a few – felt very old and obsolete. Extra points awarded to SADIE for never taking off her leather jacket.

BEST FOUR HOURS OF HEARING LOSS THAT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT Pre-INC at Uncle Lou’s Monday, Feb. 5, 2018 It’s just the nature of the game that you never know what you’re going to get at an INC (International Noise Conference, to the uninitiated) show. But it sure is a benefit to local avantgarde heads that Orlando is a site of one of the official pre-INC events in FL, a way station for musicians traveling south. This year’s event was the best one we’ve seen in years. To a packed house at Lou’s, locals like Bacon Grease and Crustgirls and Trotsky’s Watercooler went toeto-toe with world-class troublemakers like Gyna Bootleg, Bob Hatt, Dog Hospice and W00dy. The only losers were the assembled eardrums. Oh well.

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY

muSic+ nighT Life

writers’ picks

readers poll BEST STRIP CLUB 1. Dancers Royale, dancersroyalecabaret.com 2. Rachel’s Orlando, rachelsorlando.com 3. Thee Dollhouse, theeoriginaldollhouse.com

BEST THEME PARK BAR 1. Rose & Crown Pub, disneyworld.disney.go.com 2. Raglan Road, raglanroad.com 3. Finnegan’s Bar & Grill, universalorlando.com

BEST TRIVIA HOST 1. Curtis Earth Trivia, earthtrivia.com 2. ManDaddy, facebook.com/mandaddytrivia 3. Chris Crespo, facebook.com/chriscrespotrivia

BEST WINE BAR

PHOTO BY JEN CRAY

BEST OH L’AMOUR Erasure at the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts Sunday, July 8, 2018 How can we explain? Let’s start with the basics: To see Erasure live in 2018 flies in the face of the truism that reunions are crap. To see Erasure live in 2018 is to experience the coexistence of decadence and ecstatic release tempered with the wisdom and humanity it takes to stick around and grow old gracefully. To see Erasure live in 2018 is to experience synthesizer soul at its peak (still): the combination of Andy Bell’s outsized soulful voice and Vince Clarke’s open-hearted pop optimism. The Walt Disney Theater at Dr. Phillips made perfect sense, though everyone was standing from the first notes. Bell’s outfit and shoes made equally perfect sense. And the extraordinary mix of liberation and tenderness made us way more misty-eyed than we want to admit.

BEST LOCAL NPR BOOST Local “Tiny Desk” concerts at WMFE The Tiny Desk concert series – recorded live on the desk of “All Songs Considered” host Bob Boilen – has become not just an NPR staple but a national music scene tradition. The annual open-call Tiny Desk contest has become a buzzing derby among aspiring musicians across the land, one that landed Orlando garage-soul act the Sh-Booms an NPR feature last year. To help out area talent, the city’s local NPR member station, 90.7 WMFE, offered up its own desks to local acts to come in and record their video entries for the national competition. That’s what we call hometown spirit.

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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1. The Wine Room, thewineroomonline.com 2. The Imperial at Washburn Imports, imperialwinebar.com 3. Eola Wine Co., eolawinecompany.com

BEST LOCAL MUSIC FESTIVAL OR MUSIC SERIES 1. Electric Daisy Carnival, orlando. electricdaisycarnival.com 2. Southern Fried Sunday, willspub.org 3. (tie) Earthday Birthday, wjrr.iheart.com 3. (tie) Florida Music Festival, floridamusicfestival.com

BEST COUNTRY ACT 1. Thomas Wynn and the Believers, thomaswynnandthebelievers.com 2. Whiskey Sharts, shartsville.com 3. Sean Holcomb, seanholcomb.com

BEST COVER BAND 1. Hayfire, hayfire.com 2. Nirvanna, facebook.com/ nirvannatributeband 3. Skin Deep, skindeeprocks.com

BEST ELECTRONIC ACT 1. Alex Wood, facebook.com/alexwoodmusic 2. Chakra Khan, chkrkhn.bandcamp.com 3. Ben Briggs, facebook.com/bbriggsmusic

BEST EXPERIMENTAL ACT 1. Boy Without Batteries, facebook. com/boywithoutbatterieschiptune 2. Tiger Fawn, soundcloud.com/tiger-fawn 3. Lush Agave, lushagave.com

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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muSic+nighT Life writers’ picks

SCREENSHOT FROM ‘BRAXTON GOES TO CHURCH’ VIA YOUTUBE

BEST YOUTUBE CHRONICLE OF DOWNTOWN SHENANIGANS “Braxton Goes to Church” What’s up, bitches? YouTube comedian Braxton Adams and his crew chronicle the giddy highs and melancholic lows of intoxicated people in downtown Orlando every week by stumping them with probing questions such as “What’s your fetish?” and “Who killed Tupac?” Aside from interrogating drunken people (and the occasional puppet), though, the “Braxton Goes to Church” series inadvertently captures Orlando’s nightlife culture – from some serious window-smashing during a fight at Ono nightclub to an impromptu interview with the guy who sucker-punched two assholes on Orange Avenue. What’s not to love?

BEST NEW OUTDOOR VENUE The Veranda Live theverandalive.com A true alternative in the Orlando live music landscape, this Thornton Park gem, mostly known for weddings, has recently been outfitted and staffed as a proper music venue. What it now offers is a live stage set in a kind of historic courtyard milieu instead of the usual bar. Since its launch in February, the Veranda Live has featured a weighty list of music acts both local (the Hate Bombs, the Ludes, the Wildtones, Heather Lee & Jordan Wynn, Hindu Cowboys) and national (Drivin’ N Cryin’, Pylon Reenactment Society, Raelyn Nelson Band).

BEST INTERNET IRL EXPERIENCE Drink and Think: Philosophy and Discussion (and Booze) Monthly at Lil Indies Since debuting last year, Drink and Think has been upending the maxim that bar talk is small. As a relaxed public forum for philosophical discussion, the engaging monthly gathering has become an active thought society. The event was conceived by Pete Olen, who’s famous in nightlife circles as heavy-metal promoter Endoxa Booking but less known as a philosophy professor at Lake-Sumter State College. Although it’s open for all to participate, discussion is smartly moderated by Olen and a revolving cast of Valencia professors (Travis Rodgers, Kirsten Holt and Ernesto Hernández-Colón) to keep the train on the tracks (see: drinking). Might as well get some use out of those brain cells before you obliterate them.

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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muSic+ nighT Life

writers’ picks

readers poll BEST FOLK ACT 1. Beemo, mynameisbeemo.com 2. Mike Dunn, mikedunn.co 3. Prison Wine, facebook.com/prisonwineband

BEST HIP-HOP ACT 1. EyeQ, eyeq.bandcamp.com 2. Luscious Lisa, facebook.com/lusciouslisamusic 3. Sean Shakespeare, facebook.com/seanshakemusic

BEST JAZZ ACT 1. Leisure Chief, leisurechief.com 2. Absinthe Trio 3. Florida Symphony Youth Orchestra Jazz Orchestra, fsyo.org

BEST METAL ACT 1. Trivium, trivium.org 2. Meka Nism, meka-nism.com 3. Gargamel!, gargamel.net

BEST PUNK ACT PHOTO COURTESY OF CELINE

BEST NEW ADDITION TO THE DOWNTOWN SCENE Celine celineorlando.com One of downtown Orlando’s newest nightclubs, Celine combines the elaborate cocktail spirit of its (slightly more sedate) sister spot, Mathers Social Gathering, with a party atmosphere. The club features a beautifully decorated rooftop lounge, a ballroom, a mezzanine hangout and a speakeasy hideout. Wear your highest heels, but keep in mind the line here gets preeeetty long.

BEST BAR RESCUE The Copper Rocket thecopperrocket.com Ah, the Copper Rocket. The Maitland pub has gone through plenty of ups and downs with its different owners over the years, but the most recent owner, Selman Markovic, was really something special. And after the episode of Spike TV’s Bar Rescue featuring the Rocket finally aired this spring – about a year after filming – everyone got to see exactly how special. As loudmouth host Jon Taffer pointed out several times throughout the episode, Markovic had problems taking responsibility for any of the problems at his bar, from poor service to health code violations to mistreatment of employees. To no one’s surprise, the Copper Rocket was sold shortly after the filming of the episode, and since then, new owners AKT Enterprises have put a ton of work into rescuing the bar from Markovic’s reputation.

ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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1. Wet Nurse, wetnurse.bandcamp.com 2. Dial Drive, dialdrivefl.com 3. Bubble Boys, bubbleboys.bandcamp.com

BEST REGGAE ACT 1. The Supervillains, thesupervillains.com 2. Bone Magic, facebook.com/bonemagicmusic 3. Oklahoma Stackhouse, facebook.com/oklahomastackhouse

BEST ROCK ACT 1. Ancient Sun, ancientsunband.com 2. The Woolly Bushmen, thewoollybushmen.bandcamp.com 3. A Brilliant Lie, abrilliantlie.com

BEST SINGER-SONGWRITER 1. Kaleigh Baker, kaleighbaker.com 2. Marc With a C, marcwithac.bandcamp.com 3. (tie) Alyssa Harrison, alyssaharrisonmusic.com 3. (tie) Beth McKee, bethmckee.com

BEST SOUL ACT 1. Eugene Snowden, facebook.com/ eugenesnowdenlive 2. The Sh-Booms, theshbooms.com 3. Kaleigh Baker, kaleighbaker.com

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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muSic+nighT Life writers’ picks

BLACK HAÜS AT DRAG CON

BEST GLAM MONSTER MASH Black Haüs Creature Feature Tuesdays blackhausproductions.com One of the best-kept secrets in the Orlando underground arts scene is the Black Haüs Creature Feature night at Stonewall Bar. On a weekly basis, Black Haüs – the extended family of Dragula’s Victoria Elizabeth Black and her sisters in crime – stretches the art of drag to its outer edges with unparalleled DIY creativity and outrageousness. Here you see the aesthetics of Hellraiser and Marilyn Manson melded seamlessly with Divine and Lady Bunny. The performances are riveting and physical, the looks are new and original, and the Elimination Challenges pre-show are … well, often unbelievable. Tuesday is the new Friday.

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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muSic+nighT Life writers’ picks

BEST DRUGS The MDMA that made a guy get stranded on the Lake Eola fountain Our hookups aren’t as good as they used to be, but even in our heyday, we never got a batch of Ecstasy so strong that we were inspired to steal a swan boat and paddle out to the fountain on Lake Eola in an effort to commune with the waterfowl. But that’s just what happened when a man (we’ll leave his name out of this) ate a bunch of (apparently fire) molly on Dec. 18, 2017. Authorities were alerted around 4 a.m. when the man started calling for help after his jacked swan boat drifted away. He explained to police that he was inspired to go on his weird little crime spree because “the swans don’t judge” him. Which leaves us wondering if he’d ever actually met a swan before, because … hello, they are super judgey.

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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muSic+nighT Life writers’ picks

LYNETTE CEREZO | PHOTO BY SANDY HOLMES

BEST PRODIGAL RETURNS Bestial Mouths at Anime Fun Shop Sunday, Dec. 3, 2017 Here’s some trivia for all you goths and rivetheads out there. You already knew Lynette Cerezo, frontperson of hotly tipped Berlin industrial monsters Bestial Mouths, is a force of nature, a nü-Siouxsie for a young generation of avant-goths. But did you know that she’s an Orlando native? And this winter she was finally able to bring her fearsome trio to Orlando for an eldritch homecoming in the heart of Mills 50. In front of a tightly packed throng, the band whipped up a fearsome ritualistic racket as much Throbbing Gristle as Chelsea Wolfe, and we fervently hope Cerezo doesn’t wait as long before she returns to the City Beautiful again.

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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muSic+nighT Life writers’ picks

CHOIR BOY | PHOTO BY JEN CRAY

BEST FOG MACHINE AND SOFT WEEPING Soft Kill/Choir Boy at Will’s Pub Saturday, March 10, 2018 For those who favor Joy Division shirts and unseasonable trenchcoats, this double bill of Chicago’s Soft Kill and Salt Lake City’s Choir Boy was the hot (cold?) ticket of the year. They showed up in force, largely through word-of-mouth buzz about these two formidable postpunk forces, and the bands brought the melancholy in spades. Choir Boy’s set was like an angelic haze centered around the unique falsetto of vocalist Adam Klopp, riding a wave of opiated pop grooves. Soft Kill, on the other hand, was a force of propulsive nature, obscured by a row of headlights and a brutally effective fog machine. The sound was crisp and clear and minimal, and frontman Tobias Grave flew in the face of goth aesthetics with an outfit that he scored partially at International Drive’s best sportwear outlets that day.

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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muSic+nighT Life writers’ picks

BEST LOCAL ALBUM The Pauses, Unbuilding thepauses.com At last, this long-time-coming follow-up arrives – seven years after the bright debut album of one of Orlando’s most iconic indie bands. The Pauses’ movements remain as playful as they are angular here. Their palette retains its Grandaddy-esque span of rock and electronics – with cranked guitars that famed producer J. Robbins (Jawbox, Burning Airlines) no doubt proudly urged set against an ever-shifting tapestry of mood, texture and energy. Unbuilding is an update, furtherance and fortification of the Pauses’ dynamic signature, a testament to one of Orlando’s best, most accomplished indie-rock bands.

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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food+drink

readers poll

writers’ picks

BEST BAKERY 1. Valhalla Bakery, valhallabakery.com 2. Se7en Bites, se7enbites.com 3. Buttermilk Bakery, buttermilk-bakery.com

BEST BARBECUE RESTAURANT 1. 4 Rivers Smokehouse, 4rsmokehouse.com 2. Pig Floyd’s Urban Barbakoa, pigfloyds.com 3. Bubbalou’s Bodacious BBQ, bubbalous.com

BEST BLOODY MARY 1. The Hammered Lamb, thehammeredlamb.com 2. Dexter’s, dextersorlando.com 3. Maxine’s on Shine, maxinesonshine.com

BEST BREAKFAST 1. Keke’s Breakfast Cafe, kekes.com 2. Se7en Bites, se7enbites.com 3. Briar Patch, thebriarpatchrestaurant.com

BEST BRUNCH 1. Santiago’s Bodega, santiagosbodega.com 2. Briar Patch, thebriarpatchrestaurant.com 3. Se7en Bites, se7enbites.com

BEST BURGER PHOTO BY JESSICA BRYCE YOUNG

BEST KNIFE FIGHT You versus your willpower at the Glass Knife

BEST CARIBBEAN RESTAURANT

theglassknife.com Standing in front of that counter and gazing at all the cakes and doughnuts and assorted patisserie, you can feel your willpower starting to fade and your ability to make a choice leaking away. It’s a classic id versus superego situation, you against your brain, the devil on one shoulder shouting down the angel on the other. But resistance is futile, puny human. Eat the cake. Enjoy life.

BEST OLD FAITHFUL

BEST CIVIC MINDED SHOT

Tako Cheena

“The Buddy Dyer” at Shots

mytakocheena.com

shotsbar.com

Anyone who goes to shows or goes out drinking in Mills 50 knows Tako Cheena like an old friend; they’re always winning awards; they even live on our biennial “100 Things You Must Do in Orlando” list. So you probably don’t need us to tell you how great they are. We just wanted to raise a toast after six years of loving their tacos (curry-dusted panko-crusted cod for us, thanks) to say how nice it is to be able to count on them after a long night out.

For better and worse, John “Buddy” Dyer’s 15-year (and counting!) reign as the mayor of Orlando has left an indelible impact on the city. And what better way to honor that impact than by knocking back a sugary, alcoholic confection at a live-action LMFAO song of a bar owned by a group out of Miami? The “Buddy Dyer” at Shots is a tasty, Creamsicleflavored – though maybe unintentional – commentary on the Dyer era: orangey, citrusy and oh-so vanilla.

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1. Teak Neighborhood Grill, teakorlando.com 2. Graffiti Junktion, graffitijunktion.com 3. Beth’s Burger Bar, bethsburgerbar.com

1. DaJen Eats, dajeneats.com 2. Caribbean Sunshine Bakery, caribbeansunshinebakery.net 3. Golden Krust, goldenkrust.com

BEST CHEAP EATS 1. Gringos Locos, gringoslocos.com 2. Black Bean Deli, blackbeandeli.com 3. Yellow Dog Eats, yellowdogeats.com

BEST CHINESE RESTAURANT 1. Hawkers Asian Street Fare, eathawkers.com 2. Tasty Wok 3. Chuan Lu Gardens, chuanluorlando.com

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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food+drink writers’ picks

PHOTO BY DAVID BURNS

BEST TASTE OF BANGKOK Bangrak Thai Street Kitchen facebook.com/bangrakthaistreetkitchen Dylan Eitharong wanted to bring the street eats his family enjoyed in Bangkok’s Bangrak District to Orlando, so he and cohort Jordan Neumann set out to do just that. Multiple research trips to Thailand later, Bangrak Thai Street Kitchen was born as a pop-up at Swine & Sons, then, more recently, at Redlight Redlight on Saturday nights. Scratch ingredients go into the best khao soi in town, as they do in numerous other dishes from laabs and panangs to wings and green papaya salads.

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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food+drink writers’ picks

readers poll BEST COFFEE 1. Foxtail, foxtailcoffee.com 2. Drunken Monkey Coffee Bar, drunkenmonkeycoffee.com 3. Zaza New Cuban Diner, zazacubandiner.com

BEST CUBAN SANDWICH 1. Black Bean Deli, blackbeandeli.com 2. Zaza New Cuban Diner, zazacubandiner.com 3. Cubans on the Run, cubansontherun.com

BEST CUPCAKE PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

BEST USE OF $15 Chela’s AYCE Taco Tuesdays chelatacos.com The past few years have seen the Orlando dining scene inundated with tacos – “artisan” tacos, “authentic” tacos, “American” tacos and every conceivable iteration in between, giving credence to the fringe scientific school of thought known as “peak taco.” But those who still can’t get enough of the tasty little hand-food found a haven at downtown’s Chela Tequila & Tacos when the owners announced that Taco Tuesday would feature an all-you-can-eat taco option for a mere $15. In order to prevent people from overdosing on chorizo-potato, mushroom-poblano and other varieties of taco – and probably to prevent food waste, too – orders are limited to three tacos for the first order, two for the second and a la carte afterward. But if you arrive with a little determination and luck into a rare slow night for the kitchen, you could easily disprove “peak taco” by your damn self.

BEST PLACE TO GET YOUR CAR DETAILED, CHOW ON SEAFOOD AND BBQ, AND GET HIGH ON SECONDHAND SMOKE Eat N Wash 2313 W. Church St. There’s a place where you can mess your face and fingers up with saucy smoked ribs and snow crab and shrimp smothered in buttery Creole spice while you wait for your car to be detailed. (Just wash those hands before you get back in the whip.) It’s, umm, a joint venture of sorts called Eat N Wash, and the air above this unique West Church Street pit stop is heady with the scents of more than just damn fine Southernstyle seafood and barbecue, cleansing agents and car exhaust. Consider this a blunt statement of approval.

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1. Sweet by Holly, sweetbyholly.com 2. Valhalla Bakery, valhallabakery.com 3. Blue Bird Bake Shop, bluebirdbakeshop.com

BEST DESSERTS 1. Better Than Sex, betterthansexdesserts.com 2. The Glass Knife, theglassknife.com 3. Valhalla Bakery, valhallabakery.com

BEST DINER 1. Metro Diner, metrodiner.com 2. Shakers American Cafe, shakerscafe.com 3. Christo’s Cafe, facebook.com/christoscafeorlando

BEST DOUGHNUT 1. The Donut King, thedonutking.com 2. Valkyrie Doughnuts, valkyriedoughnuts.com 3. Voodoo Doughnut, voodoodoughnut.com

BEST FOOD TRUCK 1. La Empanada, laempanadatruck.com 2. Korean BBQ Taco Box, facebook.com/kbbqbox 3. Tamale Co., tamaleco.com

BEST FRENCH RESTAURANT 1. Le Coq au Vin, lecoqauvinrestaurant.com 2. Chez Vincent, chezvincent.com 3. DoveCote Brasserie, dovecoteorlando.com

BEST FRIED CHICKEN 1. Publix, publix.com 2. The Coop, asouthernaffair.com 3. Domu, domufl.com

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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food+drink writers’ picks

PHOTO COURTESY OF VOODOO DOUGHNUT

BEST WAY TO SIMULTANEOUSLY ENSURE & PREPARE FOR YOUR DEATH FROM DIABETES Wooden coffin full of donuts Voodoo Doughnut at Universal Orlando voodoodoughnut.com So you’ve spent the day at Universal’s theme parks sucking down Butterbeers and you want to put that fatal finishing touch on your sugar coma? Simply stop by CityWalk’s new Voodoo Doughnut and order the Wooden Coffin. For $139, you’ll receive three dozen pastries – piled high with toppings from breakfast cereal to bacon – and a 3-foot-long casket to carry them in. You’ll be ready for the big sleep if you eat them all, but they won’t be able to fit you in the box.

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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food+drink writers’ picks

PHOTO VIA CUBANOZ/FACEBOOK

BEST REFRESHING ESCAPE Mojito green tea from CubanoZ facebook.com/cubanozmojitos There is no better way to beat dehydration on a hot day at the Lake Eola Farmers Market than with this minty getaway-in-a-jumbo-sized-cup. The mojito green tea from CubanoZ is as Instagrammable as it is delicious, and just $5. You can cool down for real with this infusion of freshly squeezed lime, crushed mint and lightly sweetened green tea – pay a little more, and you can also get a Cuban sandwich al estilo Tampa.

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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ORLANDO WEEKLY ● AUG. 22-28, 2018

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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food+drink writers’ picks

readers poll BEST GREEK RESTAURANT 1. The Greek Corner, thegreekcorner.net 2. Mediterranean Blue, mediterraneanblue.net 3. Taverna Opa, opaorlando.com

BEST ICE CREAM 1. Kelly’s Homemade Ice Cream, kellyshomemadeicecream.com 2. Jeremiah’s Italian Ice, jeremiahsice.com 3. Twistee Treat, twisteetreat.com

BEST INDIAN RESTAURANT 1. Tamarind Indian Cuisine, tamarindfl.com 2. Mynt, myntorlando.com 3. Saffron, saffronorlando.com

PHOTO BY JOEY ROULETTE

BEST TASTE OF L.A. BBB Tofu House 5140 W. Colonial Drive

You may be surprised to learn that the fiery, bubbling soup of silken tofu known as soondubu jjigae didn’t originate in the Land of the Morning Calm (South Korea) but is actually an L.A. invention – and BBB Tofu House in the 1st Oriental Supermarket plaza makes it their raison d’etre. Owner Tony Teng, who ran several restaurants in Los Angeles, fashions the finest soondubu in the city, and a sexier broth you never will see: reddened, fiery, and rippling with the fumes of gochugalu and gochujang.

BEST LECHONERA Lechonera El Barrio Restaurant 435 N. Semoran Blvd. If the line out the door isn’t an indicator that Lechonera El Barrio is #goals, sit down for a plate of their heavenly pernil with sides of arroz con habichuelas and boiled yuca with Dominican-style cebolla. It’s so good, President Barack Obama went out of his way to stop here during his 2012 campaign.

BEST PLACE TO SABER YOUR OWN CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE Digress Wine digresswine.com Yes, you can accomplish the same trick using a spatula in your kitchen, but if you want to sabrage a Champagne bottle with the proper pomp and ceremony, Rob Chase and Brian Kerney of Digress Wine in College Park will supply the saber, the support, and the surroundings for you to decapitate your bottle of Dom or Veuve Clicquot in true style. And if you bugger it up, be a sport and help clean up the shards.

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BEST ITALIAN RESTAURANT 1. Prato, prato-wp.com 2. Il Pescatore, ilpescatoreonline.com 3. Enzo’s on the Lake, enzos.com

BEST JUICE/SMOOTHIES 1. Chewy Boba Company, chewyboba.com 2. Juice’d, juicedorlando.com 3. Nature’s Table, naturestable.com

BEST KOREAN RESTAURANT 1. Izziban, izzibanrestaurant.com 2. Korea House, koreahouseorlando.com 3. Shin Jung, shinjungkorean.com

BEST LATE-NIGHT RESTAURANT 1. Gringos Locos, gringoslocos.com 2. Tako Cheena, mytakocheena.com 3. Santiago’s Bodega, santiagosbodega.com

BEST LATIN RESTAURANT 1. Black Bean Deli, blackbeandeli.com 2. Zaza New Cuban Diner, zazacubandiner.com 3. Pio Pio Latin Cuisine Semoran, piopiosemoran.com

BEST LOCAL BREWERY 1. Crooked Can, crookedcan.com 2. Redlight Redlight, redlightredlightbeerparlour.com 3. (tie) Orlando Brewing, orlandobrewing.com 3. (tie) Hourglass Brewery, hourglassbrewing.com

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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AUG. 22-28, 2018

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readers poll BEST LOCAL CHEF 1. Sonny Nguyen of Domu, domufl.com 2. Bruno Zacchini of Pizza Bruno, pizzabrunofl.com 3. Fabiano Olmo of Maxine’s on Shine, maxinesonshine.com

food+drink writers’ picks

BEST LOCALLY MADE HOT SAUCE 1. Tijuana Flats, tijuanaflats.com 2. Fat Cat, fatcatfoods.com 3. Too Much Sauce, sauceorlando.com

BEST MEXICAN RESTAURANT 1. Gringos Locos, gringoslocos.com 2. La Fiesta Mexican Grill, facebook. com/lafiestagrillandcatering 3. Cocina 214, cocina214.com

BEST MIDDLE EASTERN RESTAURANT 1. Bosphorous Turkish Cuisine, bosphorousrestaurant.com 2. Hubbly Bubbly, hubblybubblyfalafel.com 3. Mediterranean Deli

BEST NACHOS 1. Gringos Locos, gringoslocos.com 2. Rocco’s Tacos, roccostacos.com 3. Tijuana Flats, tijuanaflats.com

BEST OUTDOOR DINING 1. Hillstone, hillstonerestaurant.com 2. Yellow Dog Eats, yellowdogeats.com 3. Eden Bar at Enzian, enzian.org

BEST PHO 1. Pho 88, pho88orlando.com 2. Little Saigon, facebook.com/ littlesaigonrestaurantfl 3. Viet-Nomz, vietnomzfl.com

BEST PIZZA 1. Lazy Moon, lazymoonpizza.com 2. Pizza Bruno, pizzabrunofl.com 3. Tomasino’s, tomasinospizza.com

BEST PLACE TO BUY MEAT 1. Freshfields Farm, freshfieldsfarm.com 2. Petty’s, pettysmeats.com 3. The Local Butcher & Market – Winter Park, localbutcherandmarket. com

BEST PLACE TO BUY PRODUCE 1. Freshfields Farm, freshfieldsfarm.com 2. Winter Park Farmers Market, cityofwinterpark.org 3. Winter Garden Farmers Market, wintergardenfarmersmarket.com

BEST CITYWIDE JITTERS Attack of the Orlando coffee shops Orlando is awash in quality coffee all of a sudden and we are here for it. The gorgeous hangout space at Lineage Mills 50, the massive Foxtail invasion, the coffee bar at the Glass Knife, Gratitude finally getting a brick-and-mortar space … Craft & Common, Deeply Coffee, Mercantile Coffee pop-ups at the Heavy … they’re popping up like mushrooms after a rainstorm. By the time this issue comes out there’ll probably be a few more that we’ve missed but regardless, we are loving the buzz.

BEST POWER-UP Sanctum Café shot flight thesanctumcafe.com For just about eight bucks American, you can buy yourself actual super powers. Sanctum’s shots (which come in 1- or 2-ounce pours) are predictably excellent – we’re especially partial to the namesake Sanctum Shot (ginger, turmeric, lemon, cayenne, coconut oil, cinnamon, raw local honey) – but adding the E3 Live (blue-green algae), Flu Shot (elderberry and warm spices) and Fire Shot (cider vinegar with various citrus and chilies) will make you invincible. Rrrrowrr!

BEST SECRET COFFEE SPOT Foxtail at Dovecote in the Bank of America building No matter how many there are, Orlando’s best coffee shops can get a little crowded now that we’re all working all the time, but one downtown spot remains relatively elusive due to being enshrouded in the financial mystique of the Bank of America building. Foxtail Coffee Co. partnered with downtown French brasserie DoveCote to open this jungle library fusion café area on the first floor of the building. Bring your friends for some delicious coffee under the soaring atrium, or keep the secret to yourself and study here quietly until 9 p.m. daily.

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2612 E Colonial Dr Orlando, FL 32803 (407) 898-7499

5229 Red Bug Lake Rd Winter Springs, FL 32708 (407) 869-7499

920 International Pkwy Lake Mary, FL 32746 (407) 333-7499

PHOTO FROM DAJEN EATS BY ROB BARTLETT

BEST DINING TREND Gourmet gas station food While still bastions of junk food depravity, area gas stations are beginning to dabble in nibbles geared to gastronomes, giving new meaning to the term “filling station.” There’s the tesoros escondidos of Mexas Tacos and Tamale & Co.; the small-batch sinkers of DG Doughnuts; the bacon-crazed creations of the Sugar Sow; vegan-Jamaican sandwiches and rice bowls of DaJen Eats (up until she opened her own spot in Eatonville); the Trini-style rotis at Valmicki Roti Shop; and soul seafood and wings at Virginia’s. Fill ’er up.

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readers poll BEST PUB GRUB/BAR FOOD

food+drink writers’ picks

1. The Porch, theporchwinterpark.com 2. Miller’s Ale House, millersalehouse.com 3. Fiddler’s Green, fiddlersgreen.pub

BEST RAMEN 1. Domu, domufl.com 2. Sapporo Ramen 3. Seito Sushi Baldwin Park, seitosushi.com

BEST RESTAURANT TO TAKE A DATE 1. Better Than Sex, betterthansexdesserts.com 2. Prato, prato-wp.com 3. Santiago’s Bodega, santiagosbodega.com

BEST SANDWICHES/SUBS 1. Publix Deli, publix.com 2. Pom Poms Teahouse & Sandwicheria, pompomsteahouse.com 3. Beefy King, beefyking.com

BEST SEAFOOD RESTAURANT 1. Winter Park Fish Co., thewinterparkfishcompany.com 2. Lombardi’s, lombardis.com 3. The Boathouse, theboathouseorlando.com

BEST SPLURGE RESTAURANT 1. The Ravenous Pig, theravenouspig.com 2. Santiago’s Bodega, santiagosbodega.com 3. Prato, prato-wp.com

BEST STEAKHOUSE 1. Linda’s La Cantina, lindaslacantina.com 2. Christner’s Prime Steak & Lobster, christnersprimesteakandlobster.com 3. Capital Grille, thecapitalgrille.com

BEST SUSHI 1. Seito Sushi Baldwin Park, seitosushi.com 2. Amura, amura.com 3. Kabooki Sushi, kabookisushi.com

BEST TACOS 1. Gringos Locos, gringoslocos.com 2. Black Rooster Taqueria, blackroostertaqueria.com 3. Hunger Street Tacos, hungerstreettacos.com

BEST MYSTERY MEAL Secret weed cuisine pop-ups Ssshhh. There’s a loose network of chefs, bartenders and THC advocates floating a hush-hush series of potfueled pop-ups in Orlando, but you’ll never experience it unless you’re invited. Those in the know can tell you that the cannabis cuisine is not only delicious but will hit you like a freight train, so if you ever luck out and get to attend, don’t forget to pull up your Lyft app before you tuck in.

VOTED - Best Greek Restaurant 10 Years In A Row!

BEST EMERGING DINING STRIP Curry Ford Road The early footprints of the new Hourglass District concept have only punctuated the nascent energy that’s already been rising in this unassuming local stretch. In recent years, this old Orlando corridor has become surprisingly diverse in cuisine, with noteworthy newcomers joining established favorites of every cuisine: Italian (Pizza Bruno), Mexican (La Fiesta, Cilantro’s Taqueria, Los Generales), Cuban (Zaza New Cuban Diner), Mediterranean (Theo’s Kitchen, JJ’s Grille) and Vietnamese (Pho and Roll). On the beverage side, Ocean Sun Brewing, Roque Pub, the newly reopened Claddagh Cottage, Foxtail Coffee and the upcoming opening of Hourglass Brewing distinguish the strip. Collectively, it’s become an unlikely and organic frontier for accessible quality food and drink.

MON-SAT 11AM-10PM | SUN NOON-10PM 1600 N. ORANGE AVE | 407.228.0303 orlandoweekly.com

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BEST JERKY

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

Sticky Rice Lao Street Food facebook.com/stickyricestreetfood New addition to the dining scene Sticky Rice serves up flavors you can’t get anywhere else in Orlando, so kudos for that. We never fail to order their chicken noodle soup garlic-chili oil, mango sticky rice or delicately chewy pork tapioca dumplings, but it’s the lemongrass jerky – lean beef coated in sugar and seasonings, dried, then crisp-fried – that we can’t get enough of. It perfectly executes that heavenly trinity of mouthfeel, flavor and aroma in a way that’s got us hooked.

BEST EVERYTHING BUT THE SQUEAL Grain bowl, Swine and Sons swineandsons.com Rhys and Alexia Gawlak’s homey little sandwich joint and provisions market is rightfully renowned for its meaty offerings, from the house-made charcuterie to the high-quality proteins in the freezer case, but they bring the same skill to an animal-free option as well: their grain bowl. Peeping up shyly on the menu somewhere between the Nashville hot chicken and the Key West pink shrimp roll is this hearty assemblage of mixed grains topped with artichoke and white bean hummus, enoki mushrooms, asparagus and pine nuts, bathed in a burnt leek vinaigrette.

BEST BEER FOR BANDS Namesake beers for local bands at Ten10 Fest ten10fest.com Live music at a brewery isn’t exactly a new concept, but Ten10 Brewing Co. on Virginia Drive went a step beyond for their Ten10 Fest this past October. In addition to inviting 10 mostly local bands to throw an all-day hootenanny in their back parking lot, they invited five of those bands to brew their own signature suds to serve. From American Party Machine’s Fireball cinnamon whiskey-inspired red ale to Fat Night’s hibiscus-infused pale ale, the variety of brews gave the festival a little extra local love that we hope to see replicated again.

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readers poll BEST TEAHOUSE 1. Pom Pom’s Teahouse & Sandwicheria, pompomsteahouse.com 2. Dandelion Communitea Cafe, dandelioncommunitea.com 3. Infusion Tea, infusionorlando.com

food+drink writers’ picks

BEST THAI RESTAURANT 1. Thai House, thaihouseoforlando.net 2. SEA Thai, seathaiorlando.com 3. Orchid Thai, orchidthaiwinterpark.com

BEST THEME PARK RESTAURANT 1. The Cowfish Sushi Burger Bar (Universal), universalorlando.com 2. Toothsome Chocolate Emporium & Savory Feast Kitchen (Universal), universalorlando.com 3. Le Cellier (Epcot), disneyworld.disney.go.com

BEST THING TO EAT AT A THEME PARK 1. Dole Whip (Disney), disneyworld. disney.go.com 2. Butterbeer (Universal), universalorlando.com 3. Turkey Leg (Disney), disneyworld.disney.go.com

BEST VEGAN OR VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT 1. Ethos Vegan Kitchen, ethosvegankitchen.com 2. Market on South, marketonsouth.com 3. Dandelion Communitea Cafe, dandelioncommunitea.com

BEST VIETNAMESE RESTAURANT 1. Pho 88, pho88orlando.com 2. Little Saigon, facebook.com/ littlesaigonrestaurantfl 3. Viet-Nomz, vietnomzfl.com

BEST WINGS 1. Gators Dockside, gatorsdockside.com 2. Domu, domufl.com 3. Papa Bees, papabeesinc.com

PHOTO BY ROB BARTLETT

BEST EDIBLE SMITHS LYRIC Black coconut ice cream in a black waffle cone, the Greenery Creamery thegreenerycreamery.com We don’t mean to overlook the many fine ice creams and toppings at the Greenery Creamery in favor of its most attention-grabbing pitch-black offering, but it’s pretty hard to ignore. If you ever sang along to Morrissey and Marr’s mopey “Unloveable” (“I wear black on the outside/’Cause black is how I feel on the inside”), this is the dessert for you. It’s definitely the opposite of unlovable.

BEST PREPARATION OF YELLOWTAIL SNAPPER Hunger Street Tacos hungerstreettacos.com Ask Hunger Street’s Joe Creech about his fondest Mexican food memory and he’ll tell you it was enjoying pescado a la talla at the various coastal eateries in Acapulco. Now Creech, along with his brother David and chef Bruno Fonseca, is re-creating that indelible seaside nosh on Fairbanks Avenue. On one side of the butterflied fish is a guajillo-based salsa; on the other a parsley-garlic rub. It’s then placed on a yakitori grill and smoked over binchotan coals.

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readers poll BEST ARTS EVENT OR FESTIVAL 1. Orlando Fringe Festival, orlandofringe.org 2. Winter Park Sidewalk Art Festival, wpsaf.org 3. Florida Film Festival, floridafilmfestival.com

BEST BURLESQUE TROUPE 1. Les Vixens Burlesque, facebook.com/lvburlesque 2. The Ladies of the Peek-aBoo Lounge, facebook.com/ ladiesofpeekaboo 3. Corsets and Cuties, corsetsandcuties.com

BEST COMEDY CLUB OR NIGHT 1. SAK Comedy Lab, sakcomedylab.com 2. Orlando Improv, theimprovorlando.com 3. Bull & Bush Shit Sandwich, bullandbushorlando.com

BEST DANCE COMPANY 1. Orlando Ballet, orlandoballet.org 2. Phantasmagoria, phantasmagoriaorlando.com 3. VarieTease, thevenueorlando.com

BEST FILM FEST OR SERIES 1. Florida Film Festival, floridafilmfestival.com 2. Orlando Film Festival, orlandofilmfest.com 3. FilmSlam at Enzian, facebook.com/filmslam

BEST GALLERY ‘TWELVE THOUSAND MANIACS,’ BY KENYA (ROBINSON)/PHOTO COURTESY OF ORLANDO MUSEUM OF ART

BEST PLACE TO MEET ART WORLD ROYALTY IN THE MAKING Orlando Museum of Art Florida Prize in Contemporary Art omart.org In its fifth year, the OMA’s Florida Prize exhibitions continue to amaze. We still have to pinch ourselves to make sure we aren’t dreaming when we see the talent that Glen Gentele and Hansen Mulford attract to the City Beautiful each summer, and this year was no different. Kenya (Robinson), whose parenthetical last name is a conscious choice, took home the top prize, and she wowed us with her needle-sharp but cloud-soft social commentary; we fell in love with Rafael Domenech’s Memphis-brite assemblages, snickered up our sleeves at Jack Stenner’s “WestFAILia” installation, and were pierced to the heart by Glexis Novoa’s architectural renderings of disaster. By the time you read this, the 2018 exhibition will have just closed, but if you’re anything like us, you’re already looking forward to next year.

1. CityArts Factory, orlandoslice.com 2. Grand Bohemian Gallery, grandbohemiangallery.com 3. Snap Orlando, snaporlando.com

BEST LITERARY READING SERIES 1. Speakeasy, facebook.com/ thenookonrobinson 2. Orlando Story Club, orlandostoryclub.com 3. Queer Quills, facebook.com/queerquills

BEST LOCAL ACTOR/ACTRESS

BEST TRAILER FOR A MOVIE THAT DOESN’T EXIST “If Orlando Was a Movie” Voted Best Local Comedian for the second year in a row just now, Rauce Padgett is a fixture in the stand-up scene and on Real Radio 104.1-FM. But one of his sketch comedy videos went absolutely viral this April. Titled “If Orlando Was a Movie,” it’s a fake trailer for a film about a guy named “Conroy Kirkman” who’s out to help Orlando find an identity. Featuring tons of digs that only those familiar with the area would know (“We’re not just theme parks; we have swans”), the video spread like wildfire among Orlandoans and expatriates, creating enough buzz that even the Sentinel got around to acknowledging it.

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1. Benjamin Ptashinsky 2. Blue Star, facebook.com/babybluestar 3. Megan Raitano, facebook.com/megan.raitano

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readers poll BEST LOCAL AUTHOR 1. Kristen Arnett, kristenarnett.virb.com 2. Bob Kealing, twitter.com/bob_kealing 3. Jeff Dixon, jeffdixon.org

BEST LOCAL COMEDIAN 1. Rauce Padgett, facebook.com/ raucepadgettcomedy 2. Big Tim Murphy, facebook.com/bigtimcomic 3. Heather Shaw, twitter.com/heathersmyspace

BEST LOCAL VISUAL ARTIST 1. Uncle Trashcan, tattoocloud.com/uncletrashcan 2. Andrew Spear, spearlife.com 3. Boy Kong, boykongart.com

BEST MOVIE THEATER PHOTO COURTESY OF MODERNISM MUSEUM

BEST SPACE ODDITIES, HOME EDITION Bowie Sottsass Memphis at Modernism Museum of Mount Dora modernismmuseum.org Finding out that David Bowie collected Memphis furniture wasn’t an enormous surprise; the wigged-out, whimsical Italian design group was as sui generis as the Thin White Duke himself. But finding out that the whole collection was acquired by a private collector and put up for display in quaint little old Mount Dora — now, that was a surprise. You have until October to get your ass out there or risk forever regretting not seeing this fantastic collection in the flesh … and lucite and ceramic and leather.

1. Enzian Theater, enzian.org 2. Regal Winter Park Village Stadium 20 & RPX, regmovies.com 3. AMC Disney Springs 24 with Dine-In Theatre, amctheatres.com

BEST MUSEUM 1. Orlando Science Center, osc.org 2. Orlando Museum of Art, omart.org 3. Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art, morsemuseum.org

BEST RECURRING ARTS NIGHTS 1. Thornton 2nd Thursday Wine & Art Walk, thorntonparkdistrict.com 2. Fringe Year-Round, orlandofringe.org 3. 3rd Thursdays Downtown Gallery Hop, 3rdthu.com

BEST THEATER COMPANY

BEST WE KNEW HIM WHEN Preacher Lawson reaches Top 10 on America’s Got Talent It’s always great to see local talent get recognized on a national level, but it’s even better when that talent gets as far as comedian Preacher Lawson did on the 12th season of NBC’s America’s Got Talent. Lawson made it to the final round of 10 contestants with a series of performances that showed off his infectious energy and got even professional grump Simon Cowell to laugh on camera. Lawson’s now playing to bigger rooms, opening for Howie Mandel and booking private gigs, but none of that comes as a surprise to anyone who saw him at any of Orlando’s many weekly showcases and open mics. Keep your ear to the ground for surprise pop-ins when he comes home to visit.

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1. Orlando Shakespeare Theater, orlandoshakes.org 2. Orlando Repertory Theatre, orlandorep.com 3. Mad Cow Theatre, madcowtheatre.com

BEST THEATER SPACE 1. Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, drphillipscenter.org 2. Lowndes Shakespeare Center, orlandoshakes.org 3. The Venue, thevenueorlando.com

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PHOTO BY EVAN MIGA

BEST GLOW-IN-THE-DARK OUTDOOR ART GALLERY Christie Miga’s Luminosities at Mead Garden facebook.com/christiemiga.artist The latest collection of canvases from artist Christie Miga could have carried a conventional gallery show on their own, with their striking psychedelically hued tree silhouettes. Instead, Miga went all out for the opening of Luminosities, using groups of gently glowing spheres to transform Mead Garden’s moonlit boardwalk into a magical fairyland. Following this surreal path placed patrons in a reflective mood before they even approached her paintings, resulting in the year’s most spiritually stimulating outdoor art experience.

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PHOTO COURTESY OF ORLANDO BALLET

BEST TEASER Contemporary Wonders, May 4-6, 2018 orlandoballet.org At Orlando Ballet’s spring program, one of the three pieces performed was an excerpt of Arcadian Broad’s upcoming full-length ballet, Mad Hatter’s Wonderland. After our cover story on the young prodigy – who’s choreographing the ballet, composing the score and performing the starring role – we were moderately curious to see how the actual work would turn out. After this little taste, consider our appetites whetted: What we saw was a kinetic, cinematic movement story full of humor and psychedelic sparkle.

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PHOTO BY SETH KUBERSKY

BEST LOOK IN A MIRROR (DARKLY) AT OURSELVES The gorilla show at Fringe orlandofringe.org In a festival full of the avant-garde, one show stood out as an unsettling glimpse into our town’s artistic soul. “A Young Man Dressed as a Gorilla Dressed as an Old Man Sits in a Rocking Chair for Fifty-Six Minutes and Then Leaves” has been performed at Fringes around the world, but its Orlando debut – a late-night one-off facilitated by Australian storyteller Jon Bennett – instantly devolved into an exhibitionist free-for-all, with drunken Fringers mocking and molesting the poor monkey. This is why we can’t have nice things.

BEST INTERNET? NEVER HEARD OF IT Orlando Zine Fest facebook.com/orlandozinefest Last December, around 40 local and regional zinesters tabled their sundry print and analog wares at the Orlando Zine Fest, and the assembled creativity – comics and fanzines and music zines and photozines were only some of the varieties on offer – was enough to make the most burnt-out Orlandoan misty-eyed. That creativity and the huge attendee turnout established ours as one of the premier zine fests in Florida, up there with the Miami and Tampa Zine Fests. Who knew that in the age of Instagram and Twitter that young and old artists alike would continue the legacy of zines? Print isn’t dead – spread the word.

BEST LOCAL ZINE(S) Photo-zines-a-go-go We can’t bring ourselves to choose just one, but we can definitively say that this year was the year of the photo-zine in Orlando. And there were three that we keep coming back to. Occasional Orlando Weekly contributor Liv Jonse released her stunning, glossy, pocket-sized untitled tome, full of everything from exotic landscapes to stunning portraits of the singer Delia Dane. The quarterly Other Magazine anthology really wowed us this year with their second issue, particularly with the photo spread on Victoria Elizabeth Black. And finally, Harryson Thevenin, a tireless local scene documenter, released a zine of his own work and that of his SR50 comrades, taking in everything from urban still-life to striking club photos. Camera! Camera!

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PHOTO COURTESY OF A24 FILMS

BEST TINY ACTORS MAKING A HUGE IMPACT Local kids from The Florida Project The Florida Project broke our collective hearts with its portrayal of a single mother and her mischievous 6-year-old daughter struggling to survive in the Magic Castle motel under Disney’s shadow – a story little-known even to locals, unless they’ve spent time with the many homeless families living along Kissimmee’s dilapidated tourist strip. But we were immensely proud of child actors Brooklynn Prince, of Winter Springs; Valeria Cotto, of Davenport; and Christopher Rivera, of Kissimmee, for using their talents to garner the attention of Oscar critics while opening eyes to the poverty that flourishes next to the “Happiest Place on Earth.”

BEST DEVELOPMENTS IMAGINARY AND REAL Roadsides and Skylines at Gallery at Avalon Island This Pat Greene-curated mixed-media group show last summer at the Gallery at Avalon Island asked the artists to present new perspectives on living in Florida, and work by Jenn Allen, Spanky Hudas and Wayne Grant ably delivered. But it was the fantastical sculptures of South Florida’s DeVan Jimenez and Jacksonville’s Crystal Floyd that created whole new worlds out of the flora and detritus of the Sunshine State. Floyd merged shadow boxes, taxidermy, insects and antique ephemera into intricate constructs that begged for repeated viewing, while Jimenez’s ceramics suggested whole new evolutionary side roads in a state where invasive species and evolving ecosystems are the rule rather than the exception. This exhibit also inspired the very entertaining “Ekphrastic Floridas” reading with Burrow Press.

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BEST FLORIDA READ Florida, by Lauren Groff laurengroff.com When Burrow Press brought Lauren Groff in for their Functionally Literate reading series in 2016, she was fresh off the white-hot success of Fates and Furies, her surprise literary best-seller. But this summer (June 5, to be exact), Groff’s latest story collection, simply titled Florida, came out – and it utterly bewitched us. Florida lacks Fates’ blockbuster, optionedby-Hollywood glamour; it’s a handful of rough gemstones next to the glittering tiara of Fates. But Florida the book, like Florida the state, is a “dense, damp tangle”; both are built of toxic decay and life-bursting elementals. Hands-down the book of the year for anyone who revels in the darkness of the Sunshine State.

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BEST ARTISTIC ALTERNATIVE TO SUNDAY SERVICES Leonard Bernstein’s Mass at UCF Celebrates the Arts arts.cah.ucf.edu He may be best known for West Side Story, but Leonard Bernstein’s 1971 Mass might be the legendary conductor’s most ambitious and controversial work. (Leave it to a gay Jewish Broadway composer to transform a Catholic ritual into anti-authoritarian performance art.) In celebration of his 100th birthday, UCF’s orchestra, choirs, performers and alumni teamed up with Opera Orlando’s youth chorus to stage the “Theatre Piece for Singers, Players, and Dancers” at the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts. Their massive effort made this rarely seen classic deeply moving.

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PHOTO COURTESY OF THE MORSE MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART

BEST ANTIQUE IMAX Albert Bierstadt’s “The Domes of the Yosemite” Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art morsemuseum.org Your new 75-inch 4K television may seem big, but it’s got nothing on Albert Bierstadt’s colossal oil painting “The Domes of the Yosemite,” which recently concluded its postrestoration debut at Winter Park’s Morse Museum. Occupying nearly 150 square feet of canvas, Bierstadt’s massive landscape was the 1860s equivalent of IMAX 3-D. The painting’s once-in-a-lifetime Orlando exhibition enthralled area art admirers, just as it once did author Mark Twain, until it returned to its Vermont home in July.

BEST OMG MOMENT AT FFF Roger Miret of Agnostic Front makes us cry floridafilmfestival.com The music documentaries screened as part of the annual Florida Film Festival are, to our eyes and ears, the hidden gems of the fest. This year’s programming was no exception, with docs on Grace Jones and Magic Music making the cut, as well as a blockbuster doc on NYHC legends Agnostic Front, The Godfathers of Hardcore. FFF’s Tim Anderson managed to convince legendary tough-guy AF frontman Roger Miret to come up for the (sole Florida) screening, and did he ever. In front of a sold-out crowd at the Winter Park Regal, Miret introduced the film and fielded questions after, brought along various family and friends (including the singer he replaced in AF), shouted out his mom, and signed and pressed the flesh with the gathered throng long after. Miret was the very picture of hard-won wisdom and grace. Maybe we teared up a few times, what’s it to you??

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PHOTO COURTESY OF WPRK

BEST RUN OF BAD LUCK WPRK 91.5-FM First Hurricane Irma knocked down the antenna tower of the student-run station at Rollins College (the oldest radio station in the state of Florida), cutting out their terrestrial broadcast. Then they got the bad news that because the building the tower lived on was scheduled for renovation, the college faculty would not approve remounting the tower just to take it down again three months later. After months of hard work, the WPRK staff and Rollins engineers managed to find a new site for the transmitter … only to discover that a pair of bald eagles had decided to nest there and couldn’t legally be disturbed. (Mother Nature can be a real jerk sometimes, eh?) After the volunteers appointed by the Audubon Center for Birds of Prey finally confirmed that the nesting pair had vacated, station staff got back to work … and on the very day of our print deadline (Friday, Aug. 17), we were rewarded with the sweet return of WPRK to our car radio.

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PHOTO VIA LEJUAN JAMES FACEBOOK PAGE

BEST UNDERRATED VIRAL COMEDIAN LeJuan James facebook.com/teamlejuanjames Back in 2013, budding Kissimmee comedian Juan Atiles started making viral clips online under the name LeJuan James, imitating the “sin pelos en la lengua” sayings yelled at him by his Puerto Rican father and Dominican mother. The videos rang true for anyone growing up in a Latino household, and LeJuan quickly became a social media star in the Spanish-speaking world, gaining over 5 million followers across Facebook, Instagram and other social media platforms. He’s gotten partnerships with companies like T-Mobile, Florida Hospital and Disney – he even played the “abuela” character in Camila Cabello’s “Havana” music video. Still, he keeps a pretty low-key profile in his daily life in downtown Orlando, which sounds like the best of both worlds.

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readers poll BEST ADULT SPORTS LEAGUE 1. Orlando Roller Derby, orlandorollerderby.com 2. Orlando Sport and Social Club, orlandosportandsocialclub.com 3. Orlando Gay Kickball, gaykickball.com

BEST ATTRACTION THAT’S NOT A THEME PARK 1. Orlando Science Center, osc.org 2. Kennedy Space Center, kennedyspacecenter.com 3. (tie) Topgolf, topgolf.com 3. (tie) Gatorland, gatorland.com

BEST BEACH 1. New Smyrna Beach, visitnsbfl.com 2. Clearwater Beach, visitclearwaterflorida.com 3. Siesta Key, visitsarasota.com

BEST BOWLING ALLEY 1. Splitsville, splitsvillelanes.com 2. Aloma Bowl, alomabowlingcenters.com 3. Kings Dining & Entertainment, kings-de.com Honorable Mention: Colonial Lanes (RIP), coloniallanes.net

BEST CANOEING/KAYAKING

PHOTO COURTESY OF UCF ATHLETICS

BEST UNDERDOG STORY

1. Wekiwa Springs, floridastateparks.org 2. Wekiva Island, wekivaisland.com 3. Blue Springs, floridastateparks.org

BEST CITY PARK

Shaquem Griffin C’mon. Who else would we be talking about besides University of Central Florida alum and, now, Seattle Seahawks linebacker Shaquem Griffin? After all, the one-handed wunderkind proved to be one of the best defensive players in college football over the previous two seasons, achieving levels of excellence two-handed players could only dream of. And now he’s defying expectations as a professional athlete alongside his twin brother, Shaquill Griffin. Keep warming our hearts while you crack skulls, guys.

1. Lake Eola Park, cityoforlando.net 2. Central Park, Winter Park, cityofwinterpark.org 3. Dickson Azalea Park, cityoforlando.net

BEST DOG PARK

BEST REVOLVING DOOR

BEST FUCK IT, WE’RE DOING IT ANYWAY

Orlando Magic head coach position

UCF Knights “championship”

The Orlando Magic’s new head coach is named Steve Clifford, but we don’t expect you to remember it, because he’s now the head honcho of an NBA franchise that’s lost more games than any other club over the past six years – 335, to be exact. But welcome to the fam anyway, Clifford, as the Magic’s fifth coach in six seasons. Here’s to not being one of the league’s basement dwellers in 2018-19, though we shouldn’t get our hopes up.

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Oh god, this again. For fans of the University of Central Florida football team, the fact that they claimed to have won a national championship after an undefeated 2017 season and then hung a permanent banner on the team’s stadium is the gift that keeps on giving. As for the rest of us – those who don’t revel in the truth only when it’s convenient – it’s become a bit of a headache. But the show must go on … the shit show, that is.

1. Lake Baldwin Park, cityofwinterpark.org 2. Dr. Phillips Dog Park, orangecountyfl.net 3. Downey Dog Park, orangecountyfl.net

BEST ESCAPE ROOM 1. Escapology, escapology.com 2. The Great Escape Room, thegreatescaperoom.com 3. The Escape Game Orlando, orlandoescapegame.com

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readers poll BEST GO-KART CENTER 1. Fun Spot, fun-spot.com 2. Lil 500 Go-Karts, lil500.com 3. Andretti Indoor Karting & Games, andrettikarting.com

BEST GROUP FITNESS 1. CycleBar Winter Park, winterpark. cyclebar.com 2. Orangetheory, orangetheoryfitness.com 3. Hardcore Fitness, hardcorefitnessfl.com

BEST GYM 1. CycleBar Winter Park, winterpark. cyclebar.com 2. YMCA (multiple locations), ymcacentralflorida.com 3. The Jungle MMA and Fitness, jungleorlando.com

BEST LOCAL PRO ATHLETE 1. Alex Morgan, alexmorgansoccer.com 2. Aaron Gordon, nba.com 3. Dom Dwyer, mlssoccer.com

BEST LOCAL SPORTS TEAM 1. UCF Knights, ucfknights.com 2. Orlando City Soccer, orlandocitysc.com 3. Orlando Pride, orlandocitysc.com

BEST NEW ADDITION TO THE I-DRIVE CORRIDOR

BEST THEME PARK FOR BEER-LOVING DADS SeaWorld seaworld.com/orlando Sure, SeaWorld still has a way to go on things like improving customer service, updating its fading facilities and correcting its still-questionable ethical treatment of animals, but it is hands down the best park for dads. There’s pretty much beer everywhere, and best of all you get two free beers just for dragging your family there in the first place. Got a little kid who can’t ride shit? Take ’em to that dog and cat show. Got a dumb teen that complains about everything? Buy ’em a $19 fastpass and don’t see them for the rest of the day. If you’re smart, you’ll get the season pass, which is stupidly cheap and essentially includes a free pass to Aquatica.

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1. Topgolf, topgolf.com 2. Icon Orlando (Orlando Eye), iconorlando.com 3. Mango’s Tropical Café, mangos.com

BEST PLACE TO BIKE 1. West Orange Trail, orangecountyfl.net 2. Cady Way Trail, orangecountyfl.net 3. Seminole Wekiva Trail, seminolecountyfl.gov

BEST PUBLIC GOLF COURSE 1. Dubsdread, historicaldubsdread.com 2. Disney’s Lake Buena Vista Golf Course, disneyworld.disney.go.com 3. Orange County National, ocngolf.com

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PHOTO BY DANIEL RODRIGUEZ

BEST MAGICAL QUEUE The Wizarding World of Harry Potter universalorlando.com Theme park lines occupy – or, really, are – a special place in hell, especially the ones in Central Florida, where standing under the Florida sun usually results in enough back sweat to fill a kiddie pool. One place, though, stops us from Avada Kedavra-ing ourselves – the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. With meticulous attention to detail and the Harry Potter canon, Universal engineers have created immersive waiting areas that are just as magically engaging as the ride itself. Talk to the castle portraits while you wait for the Forbidden Journey ride, trade dollars with a goblin at Gringotts before exploring the bank’s secret passageways, or leave the Muggles behind as you cross a seemingly solid brick wall into Platform 9 3/4 for a journey on the Hogwarts Express.

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PHOTO BY JEREMY REPER

BEST PLACE TO LEAVE YOUR TRASH Orlando City Stadium pitch orlandocitysc.com/stadium Ah, soccer fans. Nothing says “good sportsmanship” like the way Orlando City SC and Atlanta United FC fans threw trash all over the pitch at Orlando City Stadium during a heated match in May. It was bad enough that Orlando City’s administrative top dogs got a little peeved when Atlanta United didn’t address their fans’ behavior issues, so they revoked the supporter groups’ privileges, meaning they can no longer walk into the stadium early or bring in things like, say, flags. So, like an empty beer can, we’ll just leave this … here, for now.

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spoRtS+Recre ation writers’ picks

PHOTO BY SETH KUBERSKY

BEST ACCIDENTAL DICK JOKE Disney’s giant Woody disneyworld.disney.go.com Back in April, Disney was very excited to open Toy Story Land at Hollywood Studios, and in doing so, they announced to everyone that they had erected a giant 20-foot Woody at the entrance of the new land. Though there was no mention of girth, Disney did also tell us the statue had a 7-foot-wide hat and a 4-foot-tall yo-yo. Naturally, the announcement made all stand at attention.

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readers poll BEST SPRINGS 1. Wekiwa Springs, floridastateparks.org 2. (tie) Blue Springs, floridastateparks.org 2. (tie) Wekiva Island, wekivaisland.com 3. Kelly Park/Rock Springs, floridasprings.org

BEST THEME PARK 1. Epcot, disneyworld.disney.go.com 2. Universal Islands of Adventure, universalorlando.com 3. Disney’s Magic Kingdom, disneyworld.disney.go.com

BEST THEME PARK RIDE 1. Avatar Flight of Passage, disneyworld.disney.go.com 2. The Incredible Hulk Coaster, universalorlando.com 3. Revenge of the Mummy, universalorlando.com

BEST WATER PARK PHOTO BY HANNAH GLOGOWER

BEST PLACE TO DROP IN YOUR BOARD Lake Ivanhoe Ease and convenience are nothing to sniff at for even the most rugged outdoorspeople, and for kayakers and paddleboarders looking to spend a quick couple of hours basking in Florida’s blasting sun, Lake Ivanhoe delivers. There’s even a dock for kayaks, paddleboards and canoes that’s separate from the boat ramp. With pristine, silky-smooth waters and nearby bars and restaurants to round out the afternoon, it’s the right fit for anyone looking to make a ripple without making a whole big thing out of it.

BEST RUMBLE IN THE JUNGLE Mayhem on Mills Hosted by Total Punk April 22, 2018 There’s no better post-brunch dessert than watching grown men and women beat each other with folding chairs and throw each other onto thumbtacks, all while you sip a Pabst tallboy. That’s why we were so impressed when Total Punk Turnbuckle Tuesdays, the weekly hangout for fans of ’80s wrestling videos and cheap beer, put on their inaugural Mayhem on Mills in the Will’s Pub parking lot. Nothing screams a good time like amateur wrestlers writhing and screaming for mercy while punk bands rip it up, after all. As Russell “Maximus” Crowe would say, “Are you not entertained?”

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1. Volcano Bay, universalorlando.com 2. Aquatica, aquatica.com 3. Typhoon Lagoon, disneyworld.disney.go.com

BEST YOGA STUDIO 1. Warrior One, wearewarriorone.com 2. Orlando Power Yoga, orlandopoweryoga.com 3. Peaceful Peacock, peacefulpeacockorlando.com

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PHOTO BY MONIVETTE CORDEIRO

BEST PLACE TO GET AWAY FROM THE NOISE Split Oak Forest Wildlife and Environmental Area When Orlando gets too loud, this nearly 1,700-acre jewel of a preserve on the outskirts of Lake Nona is the perfect place to reconnect with yourself and old Florida. Named after a 200-year-old tree on the property that survived being split down the middle (probably by lightning, but no one’s sure), Split Oak is home to threatened gopher tortoises, Florida scrub jays, sandhill cranes, gopher frogs, deer, indigo snakes and bald eagles. Enjoy it while it lasts, though – Central Florida transportation officials are proposing to extend a road right through it.

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readers poll

goods+sErvices writers’ picks

BEST AC SERVICE 1. Del-Air Heating and Air Conditioning, delair.com 2. Belle Air Inc., belleairinc.com 3. American Air & Heat, americanairandheat.net

BEST ADULT ENTERTAINMENT STORE 1. Fairvilla Megastore, fairvilla.com 2. Premier Couples Superstore, premiercouples.net 3. Fairvilla’s Sexy Things, fairvilla.com

BEST ANTIQUE STORE 1. Adjectives Market, adjstyle.com 2. Renninger’s Antique Center, renningers.net 3. The Owl’s Attic, theowlsattic.com

BEST AUTO REPAIR 1. C&D Tires & Auto Repair, facebook.com/cdtires 2. Orlando Import Auto Specialist, orlandoimportspecialist.com 3. Honest-1 Auto Care, honest1southsemoran.com

BEST BICYCLE SHOP 1. Orange Cycle, orangecycleorlando.com 2. Kyle’s Bike Shop, kylesbikeshop.net 3. Winter Garden Wheel Works, wgwheelworks.com

BEST COMIC BOOK SHOP

PHOTO BY LIV JONSE

BEST WEARABLE TRIBUTES TO ORLANDO REALNESS Orlando Shirts orlandoteeshirt.com With their spot-on renditions of flamingos, gators, tacos, Pub subs and our famous Lake Eola swan boats, Orlando Shirts makes tees for those who truly understand the City Beautiful. Only a native would appreciate the realness of their “WILL WORK OUT FOR LAZY MOON” or “Thrills on Mills” shirts – or the sweet nostalgia of the Colonial Lanes ringer, featuring the vintage décor of the much-loved bowling alley and created the same week that the lanes closed.

BEST STORAGE FACILITY Colonial Lanes One of the last vestiges of Old Orlando fell to the deadly scythe of progress this year when Colonial Lanes – the beloved bowling alley that had been in business since 1959 – was shuttered to make way for … a self-storage facility. And while self-storage facilities are a great investment for the owners – low overhead, low labor cost, constant revenue – we’re sad that a place that helped define the character of the neighborhood will only exist in the storage unit of our memories now. The boozy bowling leagues, all-ages punk shows, karaoke glory and the bar that time forgot are now consigned to the memories of those who experienced them, never to be discovered by someone new again.

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1. Gods & Monsters, godmonsters.com 2. A Comic Shop, facebook.com/a.comic.shop 3. Coliseum of Comics, coliseumofcomics.com

BEST DAY SPA 1. The Spa Orlando, thespaorlando.com 2. Re:Fresh at Mosaic Hair Salon, refreshmosaic.com 3. Flex-I Nail Spa & Wellness, flexispaandwellness.com

BEST DOGGY DAYCARE 1. Miss Emily’s Bed & Biscuit, missemilysbedandbiscuit.com 2. Happy Paws Pet Resort, happypawsorlando.com 3. Rangers Pet Outpost and Retreat, rangerspetoutpost.com

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BEST NONALCOHOLIC REASON TO GO TO A BREWERY Free water during Hurricane Irma Usually we only visit a brewery with the intent of tying one on – I mean, let’s just be honest – but during the Hurricane Irma madness, as power and water service was spotty at best for thousands, local breweries stepped up by offering access to their free, impeccably filtered water to anyone who showed up with a jug. As Ten10 Brewing put it, “Our whole building runs off of our industrial water filtration system (the water in our toilets is probably nicer than your tap water). If you need it, it’s here.” Now that’s being a good neighbor.

BEST WE’RE NOT SURE WHAT IT IS, BUT WE LIKE IT The Heavy theheavywp.com When we first spoke to owner Jennifer Crotty about her plans for the Heavy, the multi-vendor space she’s built inside the old Lombardi’s Seafood building, she alluded to there being “food – good food.” Permitting and zoning made food a no-go, though, so in the ensuing months all energies were focused on making it a retail venue with an emphasis on design – there are textiles, ceramics, glorious plants and a “flower bar” where you can order up a custom arrangement. We’ve also seen pop-ups from Gypset jewelry, Secret Society Goods, Intrepid Hearts, Mercantile Coffee and Gezellig Cookies. Call it Pier 1 for hipsters all you want; we won’t deny our love.

BEST REASON TO CHUCK YOUR KINDLE OUT THE WINDOW Best Used Books thebestusedbooks.com For bibliophiles in Orlando, there’s a hidden treasure tucked away in Longwood: Best Used Books is used bookstore excellence (and excess) in every possible way, and in a time when the big box bookstores are on the ropes, that makes for a very valuable commodity. The place is stuffed to overflowing with all manner of hardcovers, paperbacks, DVD, records, manga and we even saw a box or two of old horror magazines the last time we were there. Staff is helpful and happy to accept trades, and the high shelves, precarious piles and miles of sci-fi paperbacks make this the perfect spot to get lost on a rainy afternoon.

BEST PLACE TO GET METAPHYSICAL SUPPLIES Avalon Beyond avalonbeyond.com Sometimes, when it feels like the world is spinning off its axis, it’s empowering to know you still have some control over how things turn out. Whether you’re just learning what a smudge stick is or you’re already in an established coven, Avalon Beyond is the quintessential spot to get “magickal” books, candles, crystals, oils, herbs, jewelry and all the things you’ll need to summon up a true love with one green eye and one blue.

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readers poll BEST DRY CLEANER 1. Acme Cleaners, acmecleaners.com 2. Orchid Cleaners, orchidcleanersorlando.com 3. Parisian Cleaners

goods+ sErvices

writers’ picks

BEST FARMERS MARKET 1. Winter Park Farmers Market, cityofwinterpark.org 2. Orlando Farmers Market, orlandofarmersmarket.com 3. Winter Garden Farmers Market, wintergardenfarmersmarket.com

BEST FLORIST 1. In Bloom Florist, inbloomflorist.com 2. Lee James Floral Designs, leejamesfloral.com 3. FarmGal Flowers, farmgalflowers.com

BEST FURNITURE STORE 1. Washburn Imports, washburnimports.com 2. IKEA, ikea.com 3. Adjectives, adjstyle.com

BEST HAIR SALON 1. Atelier Hair Salon, atelierhairsalon.com 2. Alchemy Hair Salon, alchemyorlando.com 3. Privé Salon, privesalonorlando.com

BEST INDEPENDENT BOOKSTORE 1. Park Ave CDs, parkavecds.com 2. Friends of the Orange County Library Bookstore, oclsfriends.info 3. Writer’s Block Bookstore, writersblockbookstore.com

BEST INDEPENDENT LIQUOR STORE 1. Wally’s Mills Avenue Liquors, wallysonmills.com 2. Pat’s Liquor Leaf and Wine, patsliquororlando.com 3. Knightly Spirits, knightlyspirits.com

BEST LOCAL BARBERSHOP 1. Floyd’s 99 Barbershop, floydsbarbershop.com 2. Jusincredible Cutz, jusincrediblecutz.com 3. Classic Man Cuts, classicmancuts.com

BEST TECH TOOL FOR OVERWHELMED FRINGE FANATICS Free Fringe-o-Matic scheduling website fringeomatic.com With over 120 different offerings spread over two weeks, trying to manually map out the perfect Fringe Fest viewing schedule can reduce the strongest theater fan to tears. Thanks to the pro bono programming efforts of festival patron Lewis Johnston, Fringe fanatics finally had a fast, free digital assistant to help assemble their plan of attack in 2018. Now, if only Fringe-o-Matic was able to plot out where to park your car ….

BEST MAGIC ELIXIR Dr. Duffy’s Dispensary CBD tincture drduffysdispensary.com Say it with us, kids: It won’t get you high. No, CBD, aka cannabidiol, is the calming ingredient of the cannabis plant (THC is the “wacky tobaccy” part). Dr. Duffy’s drops are sourced from hemp grown in Colorado and sold locally, and 20 drops under your tongue can make for a more balanced, harmonious state of mind – and can even help relieve muscle pain and aid your digestion. If a tincture’s not your thing, Dr. Duffy also produces oils, capsules, salves and creams for people and pets too.

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readers poll BEST LOCAL MALL OR SHOPPING CENTER 1. The Mall at Millenia, mallatmillenia.com 2. Disney Springs, disneysprings.com 3. The Florida Mall, simon.com

goods+ sErvices

writers’ picks

BEST MASSAGE THERAPY/ BODYWORK 1. Hand and Stone, handandstonespas.com 2. Balance Orlando, balanceorlando.com 3. Radiant Massage, iloveradiant.com

BEST MED SPA 1. Winter Park Laser & Anti-Aging Center, winterparklaser.com 2. Winter Park MedSpa, winterparkmedspa.com 3. VitaLounge, vitalounge.com

BEST NAIL SALON 1. Flex-I Nails Spa & Wellness, flexispaandwellness.com 2. The Polish Room, polishroom.com 3. Nail Alchemy, facebook.com/nailalchemy

BEST PET GROOMER 1. Ashley’s Pack, facebook.com/ashleyspackllc 2. Woof Gang Bakery & Grooming, woofgangbakery.com 3. Miss Emily’s Bed & Biscuit, missemilysbedandbiscuit.com

BEST PLACE TO ADOPT A PET 1. Pet Alliance of Greater Orlando, petallianceorlando.org 2. Orange County Animal Services, ocnetpets.com 3. Pet Rescue by Judy, petrescuebyjudy.com

BEST REALTOR 1. Beth Hobart, Mainframe Real Estate, bethsellsflorida.com 2. Crystal Vann, Charles Rutenberg Realty, crrmove.com 3. Maria Nunez, The Agency, orlandopropertiesonline.com

BEST RECORD STORE 1. Park Ave CDs, parkavecds.com 2. Rock & Roll Heaven, rock-n-rollheaven.com 3. Uncle Tony’s Donut Shoppe, eldonutshoppe.com

BEST REASON TO DRINK PANTS-FREE Booze delivery (Shipt, Instacart, Drizly, etc.) The world feels a bit frightening lately, so it makes sense to keep your home bar well-stocked to take the edge off – or get completely obliterated, whatever, we’re not judging. That task has become much easier lately with the launch of several delivery services that’ll bring alcohol right to your front door, which means you’ll never have to throw on an outfit to fake like you’re a functioning member of society. As of May, Amazon has jumped into competition with the likes of Shipt, Drizly, et al. to deliver beer and wine to Prime Now members in as little as an hour. Never lose your buzz (or risk drunk driving on a beer run) again!

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readers poll BEST ROOFER 1. Janney Roofing, janneyroofing.com 2. Carroll Bradford Inc., carrollbradford.com 3. Roof Army, roofarmy.com

goods+ sErvices

writers’ picks

BEST SMOKE SHOP 1. Corona Cigar Company, coronacigar.com 2. Climax Smoke Shop, climaxshops.com 3. Smoke Pharmacy, smokepharmacy.com

BEST TATTOO STUDIO 1. Built 4 Speed Tattoo, facebook.com/built4speedtattoo 2. Fine Ink Studios, fineinkstudios.com 3. Ascension Tattoo, ascensiontattoo.com

BEST VAPE STORE 1. Climax Smoke Shop, climaxshops.com 2. Fast Eddie’s Vape Shop & Lounge, fasteddiesvape.com 3. (tie) O Town Vapes, otownvapes.com 3. (tie) Vapor Safari, instagram.com/vaporsafariorlando

BEST VETERINARIAN 1. Pet Alliance of Greater Orlando, petallianceorlando.org 2. Winter Park Veterinary Hospital, wpvet.com 3. Spay N Save, spaynsave.org

BEST VINTAGE OR USED CLOTHING STORE 1. Avalon Exchange, avalonexchange.com 2. Dechoes, dechoesresale.com 3. The Owl’s Attic, theowlsattic.com

BEST WINE SHOP 1. Total Wine & More, totalwine.com 2. The Wine Room, thewineroomonline.com 3. Tim’s Wine Market, timswine.com

BEST REASON TO GO SOLAR Duke Energy fucks up Hurricane Irma response Hey, remember when Hurricane Irma blew through town after more than a week of hype over it being one of the strongest hurricanes ever? You’d think that would mean that energy companies like Duke and FPL would make extensive preparations for the inevitable damage to the power grid. But you are not a corporation only concerned with profit. The storm left millions of people without power, but Duke’s slow response – coupled with their habit of promising power would be on by a certain time and not fulfilling that promise – is where most of the anger was pointed. To add insult to injury, Duke even tried to get approval for rate increases on its customers to pay for losses that were largely the result of their unpreparedness. Never mind that the last time they got approval for rate increases to build a nuclear power plant in Levy County, they never bothered to build it and just pocketed the extra money. As hurricane season begins again, that Tesla Powerwall is looking pretty attractive.

BEST PLANT WHISPERERS Till Plant Co. facebook.com/tillplantcompany The media claims that millennials are “obsessed” with houseplants. That may be true, or it may be just another internet take™, but there’s no denying that potted plants are big right now, and the excellent humans of Till Plant Co. are here to serve all your newbie needs. Their cute pink trailer pops up around town (often outside Lil Indies) selling plants and accessories, but their Facebook page is also a trove of good information for those of us still working on keeping our new pals alive. Did you know that when someone says a plant doesn’t need much water, “what they probably meant to say was it ‘doesn’t need much watering,’ referring to the frequency of watering. Because, when you water a plant, whether a succulent or a fern, it should always be done thoroughly”? We did not know that, and it might explain the state of this sad little shriveled greenish thing on our desk.

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