Scene July 1, 2015

July 1 – 7, 2015 • VOL. 46 Issue 1

The Endangered

Dive Bars of Cleveland

Raising a toast to some of our favorite dives, just in case they disappear

LORAIN PORT AUTHORITY • BLACK RIVER LANDING L O C AT E D O N E B L O C K E A S T O F B R O A D WAY I N D O W N T O W N L O R A I N , O H I O

JULY 4

JULY 3

HOLLYWOOD NIGHTS Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band Tribute

w/STRAIGHT ON

FIREWORKS

FINS TO THE LEFT

Jimmy Buffett Tribute w/HUMAN HUMAN NATURE ALSO ROCKIN’

JULY 10 20 RIDE Zac Brown Tribute w/Coalies Run

Presented by

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JULY 11 WISH YOU WERE HERE The Sight and Sound of Pink Floyd w/Colin Dussault’s Blues Project JULY 24 ESCAPE Journey Tribute w/EVOLUTION JULY 31 WHO’S BAD? The Ultimate Michael Jackson Tribute Band w/ THAT 80’s BAND AUG 7 ZOSO The Ultimate Led Zeppelin Experience w/VICTORY HIGHWAY AUG 8 ATOMIC PUNKS The Tribute to Early Van Halen w/ACE MOLAR AUG 14 DIRTY DEEDS Xtreme AC/DC w/ Scarlot AUG 21 MCGUFFEY LANE w/ TOM FRIETCHEN BAND AUG 28 SATISFACTION The International Rolling Stones Show w/ALEX BEVAN & 10 FROM 6

| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

www.rockinontheriver.com

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

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J U LY 1 - 7 , 2 0 1 5 • VOL U M E 4 6 NO 1

Dedicated to Free Times founder Richard H. Siegel (1935-1993) and Scene founder Richard Kabat Publisher Chris Keating Associate Publisher Desiree Bourgeois

Upfront

Editor Vince Grzegorek

6

NEXUS Pipeline begins land negotiations, consent decree debate unfolds, and more

Editorial Managing Editor Eric Sandy Music Editor Jeff Niesel Staff Writers Sam Allard, Doug Brown Web Editor Alaina Nutile Contributing Writer Will Burge Dining Editor Douglas Trattner Contributing Dining Editor Nikki Delamotte Stage Editor Christine Howey Visual Arts Editor Josh Usmani Interns Hannah Wintucky, Brittany Rees, Jacob Gedetsis, Jason Meek, Maggie Sullivan Kimberly Jauregui,Tyler Singleton, Caitlin Summers

Framed

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The best photos we shared with you this week

Facetime

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Council Prez Kevin Kelley talks about his position and his city

Advertising Senior Multimedia Account Executive John Crobar, Shayne Rose Multimedia Account Executives Amanda Klein, Kiara Hunter-Davis Classifi ed Account Executive Alice Leslie

Feature

Marketing and Events Jenna Conforti, Gina Scordos

17

As city changes, we raise our glasses to the iconic dive bars of Cleveland

Creative Services Production Manager Steve Miluch Layout Editor/Graphic Designer Christine Hahn Staff Photographer Emanuel Wallace

Get Out!

Business Asst. To The Publisher Angela Lott Sales Assistant/Receptionist Megan Stimac

23

Dozens of events spanning the next week in Cleveland

Circulation Circulation Director Don Kriss Euclid Media Group Chief Executive Offi cer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Offi cers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner Chief Financial Offi cer Brian Painley Human Resources Director Lisa Beilstein Digital Operations Coordinator Jaime Monzon www.euclidmediagroup.com

Art

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Brandon Juhasz’s photographs and sculptures showcase real life IRL

Stage

National Advertising Voice Media Group 1-800-278-9866, voicemediagroup.com

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The dog days of summer are off to a scorching start with upcoming shows around the region

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Me and Earl and the Dying Girl bursts with heart and wit and that lovely sweet-and-sour tone

Dining

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Slyman’s and Dynomite evolve and grow into exciting new locations

Music

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Whitesnake guitarist enjoys revisiting band’s deep (purple) catalog, and more

Savage Love Human agony over a dehumanization kink

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COVER DESIGN BY CHRISTINE HAHN

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Fireworks will be shot from where Lake Erie meets the Cuyahoga River in the Flats on Saturday, July 4th at 10 pm

Family Funfest At Settlers Landing - FREE -Start Time: 7:00 PM

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CITY OF CLEVELAND Mayor Frank G. Jackson

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UPFRONT NEXUS PIPELINE REPS BULLYING RESIDENTS FOR LAND SURVEYS

THIS WEEK

REPORTS ARE CIRCULATING that surveyors for Houston-based Spectra Energy Corporation have been bullying residents of Grafton Township into letting them on their property to gather intel for the NEXUS Pipeline construction.

The 36-inch-diameter NEXUS Pipeline, according to current plans, will travel through 11 Ohio counties and then up through Michigan before terminating at an energy hub in Ontario.

Grafton Township Trustee Carl Wesemeyer told Scene that Spectra surveyors would be accompanied by paid (by Spectra) off-duty Lorain County Sheriff’s deputies to “keep the peace.” Land surveys were scheduled for last weekend and this week, and Wesemeyer said he hadn’t heard of any confrontations at this point, but verified that many of the township’s approximately 3,000 residents were “up in arms,” especially because now that the corn and soybeans are planted, surveyors might cause damage to farmland.

“But to the best of my knowledge, when residents tell them to get off the property, they’re getting off the property,” Wesemeyer said. “And if they do cause any damage, they write a check for whatever it costs right there. The problem is, they’re very by the book. The government wrote the book, and these guys are going page by page through it. If you cross every T and dot every I, it doesn’t matter what the people want. It doesn’t mean that Grafton Township is the best location, it just means it’s the location Spectra did their homework on.”

Wesemeyer said that it’s difficult to keep citizens informed and to plan effectively because Spectra -- surprise, surprise -- hasn’t been forthcoming with project details.

“They haven’t supplied us with a map,” Wesemeyer said. “They

6

haven’t even supplied us with a list of names. When I talked to a lady from Spectra, she said she understood the problem and would be getting back to me.”

Wesemeyer said that many folks in the community have grown resigned. They don’t accept the pipeline, he said, but have come to the realization that government’s not going to stop it. There’s an

residents of Grafton Township have nothing at all to gain.

“At one of the first community meetings, a man stood up and said he’s been trying to get natural gas for 20 years,” Wesemeyer said. “And now he’ll have a natural gas pipeline through his backyard and he still can’t get any.”

In the meantime, the Coalition to Reroute NEXUS (CORN) is

A late-2014 draft of NEXUS has the pipeline running through 11 Ohio counties.

assumption that the government and big business are joined at the hip. And though Carl Wesemeyer may not be on Big Oil’s payroll, one need only look at the Ohio EPA and current unitization legislation to understand residents’ wariness or distrust. (The state is making it really really easy for energy companies to do precisely what they please where- and to whomever they see fit.)

Wesemeyer said that one of the biggest concerns he hears -- other than questions about the blast radius in the event the massive underground pipe carrying natural gas at 1,400 PSI explodes -- is that

DAT POPCORN THO

Crocker Park shuts down early July Fourth celebration when stray fireworks injure nine people. En route to hospital, one man jokes: “At least the burns don’t hurt as bad as Regal’s prices!”

No one laughs. | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

exploring the possibility of a classaction lawsuit. The coalition’s lawyer is advising property owners in the area to continue denying surveyors access as is their legal right, he said.

CONSENT DECREE DEBATE BEGINS IN EARNEST Without even a faint glimmer of shock, the debate over implementation of the city’s consent decree with the U.S. Department of Justice is unfolding. On one side: advocates fighting for greater transparency and accountability -- more “teeth,” in modern parlance

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-- fronted most visibly by the Cleveland chapter of the NAACP. On the other side: the police union -- led by the cartoonishly antagonistic Steve Loomis -- which claims that the consent decree will violate collective bargaining agreements.

Earlier this week, the local chapter of the NAACP, the Collaborative for a Safe, Fair, and Just Cleveland and the Ohio chapter of the National Lawyers Guild jointly filed a “friend of the court” brief in federal court. Amid the clank and clamor of West Huron traffic outside the courthouse on Monday morning, representatives of these groups discussed their basis for recommending various consent decree modifications.

In short, the recommendations include: • The office of the inspector general should be independent and should not report to the police chief.

• The Cleveland Division of Police should not be permitted to police themselves regarding the most serious use-of-force policies.

• “To ensure bias-free policing,” the collection of race/gender data is essential.

• Specific provisions for addressing youth are necessary.

• The Community Police Commission should be strengthened, including through a direct point of access between the commission and the monitor.

• Bestowing on the monitor blanket testimonial immunity is not in the best interest; the monitor should be allowed to testify in cases that are brought to court.

“This particular consent decree expressly provides that it can be modified,” local attorney Subodh Chandra said. It’s unclear how the brief will be received by the court.

The clearest goal is to maintain an ongoing dialogue about how best to implement the various cogs of the

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Photo by Eric Sandy

UPFRONT

the so-called court of public opinion from the suburbs to the city.

DIGIT WIDGET

consent decree.

The groups’ concerns all center around the interactions and engagement between the Cleveland Division of Police and the communities they serve.

When it comes to specific consent decree language, the group is seeking more specific reform policies for the police department’s internal investigations and more independence in the same.

“We have all the confidence in the world [in the CPD’s investigation process], but by the same token we want to be prepared,” James Hardiman, an attorney with the Cleveland branch of the NAACP, said, quelling reporters’ concerns that this brief positions the group as antagonistic toward the police department’s integrity.

Local attorney Terry Gilbert pointed out that the DOJ focus on the CPD’s inability to police itself: “That is a bedrock fact that gives rise to all the problems we’ve seen over the years with police use of force. We think it’s in everybody’s interest to take a pause and show the community that these investigations are going to be fair and independent.”

Read the full brief at clevescene. com.

Elsewhere, however, Loomis is positioning himself as an antireform loudspeaker. He’s more or less dismissed the consent decree outright -- not offering suggestions or improvements, but rather lambasting the thing as farce.

At one point in late May, Loomis literally said that police officers will become so dissuaded from “paperwork” that they will drop all training and avoid using their guns in dangerous situations. “It’s going to get somebody killed,” Loomis said.

The struggle over consent decree implementation is one that will take place slowly in courtrooms, yes, but also one that is manifesting itself on the streets, on editorial pages, in

8

LAKEWOOD MAYORAL RACE TO REVOLVE AROUND HOSPITAL About a month ago, State Sen. Michael Skindell announced his run at the Lakewood mayoral office -- a position held for the past four years by Michael Summers, who is running for re-election. On the surface, it’s a Democratic face-off from within a fairly engaged, mostly already-Democratic inner-ring ‘burb.

But the race is shaping up to be a proxy war for the fight to save or destroy Lakewood Hospital.

Skindell, joining much of the community (based on informal yard sign spotting), has denounced the city’s letter of intent with the Cleveland Clinic to demolish the hospital and build a “community wellness center” on the site. In particular, he’s sounded off on what many have deemed an apparent lack of transparency at City Hall when it comes to this undertaking.

“Public office is a public trust,” Skindell said upon announcing his campaign. “The present mayor has repeatedly violated that trust by attempting to close Lakewood Hospital, which is viable and which I pledge to keep open.”

The community has been treated to multiple framing devices for this undertaking. Since January, City Hall has maintained a steady diet of public-information sessions -meetings wherein department heads and Lakewood Hospital reps break down various facets of the proposal.

The flip side of the conversation comes from the Save Lakewood Hospital organization -- which has been called a “vocal minority” by the Northeast Ohio Media Group and which has published multiple longform news stories about the financial and political context of the hospital proposal. To those specific ends and assertions, City Hall has remained mostly mum.

“Healthcare is changing around the country and equally so in the Cleveland area,” Summers wrote recently. “We need to be ready for the next century. Managed change is

9.77

Record rainfall, in inches, for June in Cleveland. As of press time on June 30, we were getting close but unlikely to surpass it.

| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

$907,829

Parma Pierogies nabbed local and national press attention throughout the 90s.

better than unmanaged change.”

Managed change, indeed, as private doctors with offices in Lakewood Hospital have confirmed to Scene in conversations over the past two years that the Cleveland Clinic, which operates the hospital, has been moving services and functions to other area Clinic hospitals. To those rallying against the hospital closure, including Skindell, it’s a shade of the larger story that’s going untold.

The mayoral race might do wonders to uncover the plot Presently, we’re nearly six months in on this community discussion -- officially speaking -and City Council has not yet moved to vote on the proposal. With the November election looming, there’s a good chunk of time to force the conversation into more open waters.

PARMA PIEROGIES SEEKING REVIVAL A true staple of Cleveland nostalgia these days, Parma Pierogies remains an idea that seems always to be growing. Founder Mary Poldruhi is seeking investors for the company’s revival and the ultimate return to pierogi heaven.

The original iteration of her company was a beloved Northeast Ohio institution throughout the 1990s -- remember the iconic flamingo? -and she began distributing her meals in grocery stores throughout the region.

Back then, she cold-called 600 people in the white pages who had

Compensation of Cleveland Orchestra conductor Franz Welzer-Möst, a 23-percent decrease from his compensation last year, despite which he remains the 10th highest paid conductor in America.

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a Polish-sounding last name. She picked up 80 investors in no time, logging $3,000 per. The business was off and running.

From there, Parma Pierogies became “media darlings,” as Poldruhi describes it. Her company appeared in culinary and humaninterest nationals; President Bill Clinton enjoyed lunch there twice on trips to Cleveland.

The business closed under pressure from Mrs. T’s, the frozenfood-aisle pierogi outfit. “We’ve been gone since 2000, but people think we’re still here,” Poldruhi says.

Nowadays, she wants to revive the company and inject an altruistic spirit. She uses the term “philanthropreneur” to describe her approach. Think about Newman’s Own brand, which shuffles 100 percent of its proceeds toward charitable causes. Poldruhi wants to take Parma Pierogies 2.0 and use two-thirds of the profits to benefit victims of child abuse. Providence House is the primary beneficiary in mind for now.

Poldruhi and her revival took fifth place in the Council of Small Enterprises pitch competition in October 2011, signalling the forwardthinking seeds of a good idea and the sort of support she needs.

“I’ve got to do this; I’ve got to try to bring this back,” she says. She’s seeking partners at parmapierogies. com.

scene@clevescene.com t @cleveland_scene

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FRAMED!

our best shots from last week Photos by Emanuel Wallace, Jon Lichtenberg*

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Share your best shots with SCENE – just tag or mention us! ™ @ clevescene t @ cleveland_scene ` @ ClevelandScene • #clevescene

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 11

FACETIME TOWARD A NEW CLE

City council president Kevin Kelley on his tenure and his city

By Sam Allard KEVIN KELLEY GAVE A TALK at the City Club last month, and we wanted to follow up on a few of his key points. The council president’s remarks hewed to the central metaphor that a government’s animating force should be the maintenance of a city’s “bones” and “soul”: its infrastructure and social well-being. Kelley averred that Cleveland’s greatness depends mostly on “the intensity with which its citizens love their city as a home.” At which sentiment Scene basically rolled its alt-weekly eyes, but at which nonetheless — and we’ll admit it — we were touched.

So we asked to discuss things with him in greater detail.

It’s been a year of “incredible highs and incredible lows” for Cleveland, to use a Frank Jackson term. What are some notable highs and lows from the legislative perspective?

I think we’ve done some great things. In terms of things that really affect people, I’m very proud of having passed the domestic partnership legislation. With the RNC, that was a big granting of authority, a big omnibus kind of thing. At the time, there was a lot of RNC euphoria, but looking back, after almost a year, I still think that it’s the right piece of legislation, that it’s the right amount of authority to give for this particular purpose. The reason I think that is because the big expenses aren’t coming from our general fund.

I’m also very pleased with the resurfacing strategy that we came up with. I knew Year 1 was going to be imperfect, but I think it’s worked out as well or better than I anticipated.

[Jackson’s chief of staff] Ken Silliman had some reservations about the resurfacing plan. Have there been any changes?

We’ve reached this agreement and we’re going forward with it.

Ken believes that they can use these dollars to leverage Northeast Ohio Areawide Coordinating Agency dollars [for resurfacing major thoroughfares], which is true, but you have to look at this

12

with some perspective. It can’t all be one or the other. The agreement we’ve come to leaves money for both. In a short period of time, this is going to be impactful.

Not to throw softballs, but how are you liking the role of city council president?

No, it’s a good question. For a long time when I was asked that question, I would just say, ‘It’s great. I love it.’ And I still do, but up until November of 2014, it was the RNC, it was LeBron, it was historic tax credits and ribbon cuttings and progress and investment. When we started approaching the DOJ announcement, that was … it took all the oxygen out of what we did as council and government.

Which made being president harder?

You’ve been present at council meetings so you see that people argue and talk about me, but that’s politics, that’s business. I can deal with that. I can still focus on, are we moving legislation forward.

But this was more stuff you take home with you. Tamir Rice, the DOJ report. It all came at about the same time and it changed my perspective. It made me step back and take inventory. Because here was a problem that I can’t really solve. I can do everything right, but there’s still pain. I couldn’t point to the answer or pass a piece of legislation. It’s like, we really need to get out and engage with the community and try to solve this thing.

There was some concern that the listening tours, for instance, actually weren’t that effective.

There was, and there is still, a lot of emotion and volatility. People are angry and they want to focus it somewhere. At that point, council was as good a place as any. And the job became listening and absorbing that. That changed how I managed my agenda and goals.

Are you concerned about the successful implementation of the consent decree?

Yes. Absolutely. This stuff is

| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

expensive. If you’re dealing with a large budget, when you talk about the capital stuff, we can get there. Tell me a number and we can find a way to get there.

Where things are uncertain and when things can get really expensive really quick is when you’re talking about personnel.

And if you get equipment, what people don’t talk about is: What about software upgrades? What about maintenance? What about the storage of data? That’s the stuff where this could take on a life of its own. I’m very concerned financially, but we’ll get there. I don’t know how, but we will.

One of the major agenda items you mentioned at the City Club last week was infant mortality. You said you arrived late on this issue.

What was the hold up?

The issue had always been there but it was always, quite frankly, I didn’t know just how bad things were. I didn’t know how bad we ranked. When I first was president, Joe Cimperman came to me and presented the issue and I looked at it more as, we’re going to fund MomsFirst because we know they do good things. So we funded MomsFirst, and we were happy.

They’re still doing good things, but this year when the budget came back again and Joe came back, I started looking and having conversations with the mayor and we wanted to find ways the money would really make improvements.

There are a lot of good people doing a lot of good work, but we’re not collectively working together and solving the problem.

So are you envisioning a task force?

I’m envisioning like a, yeah, like a task force or larger umbrella organization that’s gonna make this issue a priority. We need to identify best practices, coordinate the effort and scale up the resources, which is a government way of saying find the money.

I’m glad. This is a huge issue.

Pretty embarrassing that we’ve got one of the best medical

Kevin Kelley

facilities in the world and this is happening right in its backyard, so to speak.

I wonder if the term “infant mortality” isn’t too academic or too clinical. Maybe we should call it “dead baby syndrome” or “our babies are dying” syndrome, something more shocking. Maybe we should say something like, ‘Your baby is more likely to survive in a developing nation.’ We’ve gotta shock them. We need to be shocked. The tragedy and the optimism of this issue is that we know what works. We’ve got to do it.

You also talked a lot about ongoing development in your talk.

Do you ever fear that all these new projects and districts might be coming online too quickly?

The way I look at this is: People who are smarter than me and who get paid a lot more than me are making these decisions to invest. I think that for a long time, if you look at other big Midwestern cities, there’s been a demand to move downtown that we’ve never had in Cleveland. Now that it’s there, that energy has been pent up and I think that the interest is solid and will continue. I’m not in the business of forecasting hotel space, but somebody must be doing that, right?

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favorites all season long with tons of

a bar is for the drink selection. Panini’s

appetizers and dozens of beer selections

has dozens of beer options on tap or by

on its outdoor patios.

bottle, from local favorites Fat Head’s to

Head down after a Tribe game to try

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Panini’s pub grub in the moonlight.

bar also switches out specialty drafts

It has all the typical bar eats with

like IPAs and local brews frequently so

overstuffed potato skins and chicken

check in often for a new brew.

wings. However, Panini’s also offers

Panini’s patios can be found at its

quite a few specialties at its locations,

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 15

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FEATURE

The offerings behind the bar at SS&W Boardwalk beckon the thirsty patron.

Raising a toast to some of our favorite dive bars, just in case they disappear WERE IT ANY OTHER BAR AND MAYBE ANY OTHER CITY, THE news back in the spring of 2014 would have trickled through the real estate page and nightlife underbelly quietly. But this wasn’t just any bar; it was the Harbor Inn. And when Cleveland found out that King Wally (real name: Vlado Pisorn) was putting the legendary and immutable dive up for sale, there were eulogies and celebrations for the century-old Flats joint even though nobody had stepped up to buy the property yet and there were still many nights of cheap booze and cold beers to enjoy.

A little over a year later, the Harbor Inn is still for sale. Rumors abound as to who might eventually take control and help send Wally into a much-deserved retirement — a longtime patron who’d keep it the same, outside investors who’d do a total renovation, a company that would tear down the building and simply use the now prime real-estate for condos — but nothing seems to be imminent (thank the lord and King Wally).

Still, it got us thinking about our other favorite dive bars and the general future of them all in Cleveland. If you haven’t personally started a brewery in the past year, you probably know somebody who has, and the Forest City’s rep as a craft brew destination is growing by the day.

Cocktails? We got those too, with a host of places that have picked up the Velvet Tango Room’s

leading charge, including the Spotted Owl and Society Lounge. You wanna play a game and eat some gastro grub while you guzzle an IPA? We got plenty of those too, with plenty more on the way as the drink-andplay trend makes its way to the shores of Lake Erie, notably with the scheduled arrival of Punch Bowl Social in the Flats and the makeover at the Corner Alley on East Fourth.

Where does that leave our treasured dives?

As Cleveland is remade (in ways we love, to be sure) and developers scramble for every last remaining square foot of space downtown and in the surrounding neighborhoods, as rent climbs and calls are placed to see if maybe, just maybe, the time might be right for this or that bar owner to make hay while there’s hay to be made, we went drinking. (Not that we need an excuse to go drinking, but we’ll take one when we can find it.)

We wanted to capture a little sliver of the current menu of dive bars, ones very much like the kind that have been serving Cleveland shots and beers for as long as shots and beers have been around, and others that have carved out a fresh, if tenuous, slice of our livers.

You never know when it’s going to be time for your favorite spot’s last call, after all, so enjoy ’em while you can. — Scene Staff

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 17

Photo by Eric Sandy

FEATURE

The VIP Inn is a dive’s dive in blue-collar West Park.

V.I.P. INN 4107 Rocky River Dr., 216-476-2411 “So the V.I.P. goes from watching hockey to watching golf,” says John, a westside mail carrier, to no one in particular across the bar. His tone is accusatory and ball busting. The U.S. Open is flickering on the big flat-screen above the bar.

“Hockey’s over,” comes the reply from a dark corner.

Thus ensues one of many timeless debates arcing over the green plastic-lacquered bar at the V.I.P. Inn, a true dive’s dive nestled a few blocks off the main drag in West Park. This is no place for golf, it seems.

“I don’t want to cause any shit!

Geez!” John says. “Whoever listened to me?”

No more golf, then. Someone flips the channel over to the Yankees-Astros game. The Tribe ain’t playing. “Well, they won’t lose tonight,” one guy says, casting a glance and a smirk toward John.

Mary Jo shuffles behind the bar, de-capping bottles and cashing out tabs as people duck out for the evening. The V.I.P. Inn, like all good dives, operates at its own steady pace — and everyone knows what is owed when it comes time for such business.

“It’s been the same 20 guys sitting on the same 20 bar stools for the last 20 years,” Mary Jo says. Two of her uncles have owned the place with a buddy of theirs since the early 1990s. By and large, this is a long-running neighborhood hub for the boilermakers of Cleveland’s west side. Time is measured not so much in minutes or hours here, but rather in shades of familiarity. You’re either part of the V.I.P. or you’re not.

“I don’t like this guy,” John says, poking his beer toward the writer working over a moleskine and a Bud

18

at the corner of the bar — the new guy. “He’s got too much hair.”

John is bald and, currently, midway through a conversation about receding hairlines. This is another topic of passing debate for the night.

On tap behind the bar: Fat Heads, Goose Island, Shock Top. But no one’s drinking that. The gin mill cowboys of the V.I.P. order “beerandashot” — often enough it goes without saying that they want Bud heavy and a whiskey.

As for food, tonight’s special: “Crockpot cheeseburger with Sweet Potato FF.” $7. At one point, someone actually calls the bar and inquires about the burger. “It’s like a sloppy joe, but with cheese melted in,” Mary Jo says.

“Can we put the golf back on?”

John says, laughing. “Now I’m just trying to cause shit.”

is in this respect the anti-Spotted Owl, a “shot and a beer bar,” if you like the literature. Here you can (and should) get a Miller High Life on draft along with any shot behind the bar for $5. Healthy shots.

They’ve got your local brews, for sure — Portside Distillery’s on draft, Platform’s Cleveland Palesner is in a can — but domestics and your basic liquors are the name of the game.

Bartender Ronny, of good, stout Brooklyn/Parma stock, pours himself a Jame-o as he pours my second bourbon and mentions that, on Tuesdays, shots are $2: Tito’s, Captain, Beam, Jameson.

But today’s Thursday, and it’s happy hour, and I am the solitary patron, seated comfortably in the almost brothelesque red/black interior and watching The Lost World on one of the bar’s two HD screens. Goldblum is giving it his absolute all.

Ronny says that in its newest iteration, after nearly $1 million in restoration and upgrades, he thinks, DIC has become “kind of a latenight place,” where closing time is understood to be conditional.

In the quiet shadows of clangorous West 25th, it’s often a last stop after a rowdy night. It’s also, Ronny appends, a great place to get a quick shot beforehand. As happens in lots of bars without a menu — though a small kitchen is alleged to be in the works —

bartenders or patrons are known to order pizzas for the crowd. A slender central table is transformed, Tuesday nights, into a beer pong battleground, which Ronny oversees. He happily awaits all comers.

In the back, a lounge area with comfy leather seats and a big-screen TV might be mistaken for VIPgrounds, except there’s nothing VIP about Duck Island Club. It’s a Club in the old-fashioned sense of the word, where all are welcome.

KELLEY’S PUB 13525 Lakewood Heights Blvd., Lakewood, 216-671-3587 Though it’s only a short walk from Mahall’s and the bars of Birdtown and Lakewood’s East End, Kelley’s Pub feels galaxies away. Off the Triskett Road Rapid stop, and a gallant stone’s throw from Berea Road’s Pat Catan’s, the green-awninged pub on Lakewood Heights Boulevard isn’t (at present) the province of young folk or even semi-adventurous Lakewood bar-crawlers. The immediate surroundings’ vibes are less social or commercial than they are lightindustrial.

“It’s definitely got that neighborhood feel,” says cook Jason Noyes, outfitted appropriately in a Shamrock ballcap. “For lack of a better term, it’s that ‘blue-collar’ feel.

We have a core group of regulars.

Photo by Sam Allard

DUCK ISLAND CLUB 2102 Freeman Ave., 216-621-7676 Though “dive” is perhaps an imprecise term for its reincarnation, the Duck Island Club is at any rate tucked away, around the corner from Cleveland’s pricey-cocktail flagship, the Velvet Tango Room. Duck Island itself, the liminal quarter between Ohio City and Tremont, got its name and fame during prohibition as a spot to “duck in” and lose a tail.

According to lore, the Duck Island Club opened back then, as a speakeasy on the first floor of a house owned by a woman named Margie. She served “bathtub gin and bootlegged whiskey” that was stored at a farmhouse on West 49th Street.

These days, to the casual patron, the speakeasy vibes translate as “off the beaten path” and “eclectic clientele,” but not — it’s worth noting — anything like a destination for mixed drinks. The Duck Island Club

| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

The aesthetics of Kelley’s Pub are rooted in the owner’s firefighting history.

[Owner Brian Barnes] just wants it to be a community bar where the price is right.”

Right indeed. On Wednesday, which today thankfully is, whiskey runs $2, so a chilled Fireball idles next to my bottled Bud Light and German sausage apple noodle soup — handcrafted by Noyes — while Jackie (the bartender renowned in these parts for her resemblance to actress Jaime Pressley) pours Jims and Jacks and Tullys at the beck and call of the muscle-shirted clientele.

Hot conversation topics this afternoon: Cleveland Indians; asphalt.

The soup recalls your standard chicken noodle, except the meat is pulled and stringy and the broth’s got a subtle apple-orchard tang. Noyes, says Jackie, is “amazing, amazing, amazing.” He arrived in March, along with the kitchen, and whips up in-house all their wing sauces and, almost unbelievably, their nacho cheese. Another Wednesday special: Pierogi dinner, six deep, with extravagant fixings, for $6.50.

Brian Barnes is a Cleveland fireman — “This is his first time in the bar biz,” says Noyes — and a helmet and flame-scorched gear hang prominently beneath some firehouse artwork near the stage.

(Live music is still sort of in its nascency.) There’s ample real estate in the back with twin dart boards, TVs, and beer signage.

Kelley’s is less than a year old, though the space is the dive formerly known as Billy C’s.

Says Noyes: “I don’t know how long it took or how much it cost to get the smell of that place outta here.”

But in its early days, Kelley’s has emerged as the sort of neighborhood watering hole that local writer Alissa Nutting has called the “capital-B Bar,” the sort where you don’t need to show up with your hair combed.

OntariO Street Cafe 2053 Ontario St., 216-861-6446 Downtown Cleveland’s gone through a lot of changes in the past 40 years, but the Ontario Street Cafe hasn’t. Tucked away next to the behemoth, corporate-feeling breastaurant known as the Tilted Kilt and across the street from the Horseshoe Casino, it’s easy to miss the classic Cleveland experience hidden beneath the nondescript green awning.

It’s a Friday afternoon and people are coming in for end-of-the-week drinks and to chow down on any of the six massive sandwiches on the menu. Greeted by the shirt-and-tieclad bartenders, the clientele sits in

the small black leather booths lining one side of the small room, or claims a stool at the bar, relaxing under the dim lighting coming from the old green lamps hanging from the ceiling.

The high-powered manager/ bartender, Jen, has been working here for 16 years and she runs the place like an air traffic controller, greeting her regular customers by name, knowing what drinks they always order, and asking them if they’ll have the usual (“Yup,” they all say).

“You can’t beat this place — the price, the atmosphere,” said one young man, who stopped in for a ham sandwich and a couple shots of Fireball, while watching NBA draft coverage on the small TV behind the bar. He’s been coming here for a couple years now, stopping in when he’s downtown and has the time.

The price is the main reason people keep coming back. It’s $1.50 for a mug of draft beer, $6.50 for a pitcher, and cheap liquor drinks range from $2.25 to $3.50. But bring cash; ain’t no credit cards accepted here.

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SS&W BOardWalk 16011 Waterloo Rd., 216-481-0077 Tucked within what appears from the outsde to be just a house, the Boardwalk is a Waterloo mainstay.

They’ve been slinging cheap drinks and fried food for years — well before the streetscaping renovations brought curious suburban denizens to Cleveland’s arts community du jour. Still, even the updated vibe of this neighborhood hasn’t worn off too much on the ol’ Boardwalk; this place is timeless.

Inside, a jukebox positively blasts some Silversun Pickups. The bartender keeps the thing going by tossing in cash every few songs. Her selections are top-notch. Now and then, she says, they’ll bring in some live music. Reflecting the spirit of the street, the Boardwalk has a really pronounced musical element to it. For those keen on becoming a regular, it’s the perfect pre- and postBeachland stop.

The crowd fluctuates between five and six people on a recent weekend evening, ebbing and flowing as day turns toward night. Inside, the Boardwalk pretty much has everything covered: darts, pool, requisite tongue-in-cheek signage behind the bar (“Beer, Now Cheaper Than Gas,” etc.). You can order up a Boardwalk Bomb, which is cream soda, root beer schnapps and Black Velvet whisky. Five bucks.

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signature drink, right?

In the spring, the bar hosts a chili cook-off — the sort of event that reminds everyone that the place is more of a family than anything.

MCNAMARA’S 8611 Lake Ave., 216-939-9346 The thing you may have heard about McNamara’s, if you’ve anything at all, is that it has a killer patio. “Irish dive with killer patio” may as well be the tagline. And it is nice: canopied, latticed, Italian-lit. If the breeze is just right, and the bottle of your $2 domestic is glistening just so, you might feel as though you’ve been transported to a villa on the Adriatic Sea. McNamara’s dive reputation is likely inspired in equal measure by its regulars — well-salted westside Irish guys — and its “rough” location, an unassuming underpass-y storefront on Lake Road and West 85th, west of Gordon Square and east of Lakewood: decidedly unAdriatic. But it’s cleaner and chicer inside than you’d expect from your traditional divey dive. No broken chairs or busted stools with the foam bursting forth from the slits. In here, it’s all exposed brick and stained dark wood. There’s a quality oldschool dart board (which I’m the only one who ever seems to want to use) and one of those new-school digital karaoke machines.

Like Kelley’s Pub, McNamara’s exists because of the on-the-side entrepreneurship of a Cleveland fireman. Gary McNamara bought the old Gleason’s pub in ’98 and has been serving cheap beer to an army of regulars ever since. Industry peeps congregate on Sundays for bargainbasement Fireball.

Perhaps because of the cheap-beer mystique, or simply because of the westward migration of Cleveland’s urban pioneers, there is often (on the patio, usually) a circle or herd of younger folk, paisley and plaid prominent among their shirts, whom the regulars either regard with suspicion or ignore outright.

But on off hours and off nights, it’s quiet. It’s low key. It’s a literal sanctuary from the rain. More than once I’ve spotted men in trench coats stumble in, order a shot, shoot it, slap a bill on the bar and then stumble out, all in a total elapsed time of maybe four minutes. I admit I’ve suggested it as a meet-up with sources who hold their anonymity very dear. It’s got the feel of

someplace far removed, someplace protected, noirish and — importantly, for journalists and chronic drunks — unsurveilled.

MARS BAR 15314 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216-228-4500 On the corner Madison Avenue and Mars Avenue in Lakewood is a simple, single-story brick building, home to one of the coziest, most laidback bars in the suburb.

It’s a small red-and-yellow room — a few small tables and a modern bar — with four huge flat-screen televisions that make it a perfect place to watch the game. And then there’s the gyro meat rotating in the heat, emanating irresistible smells to those near the machine in the corner behind the bar.

They’ve got some of the best gyros around, perhaps because they are authentically Greek. I first met Mars Bar owner George Gountis last summer when I came there to watch the Greece-Colombia World Cup game. There, a handful of neighborhood guys wearing old Greece soccer jerseys were sipping beers, eating gyros and taking shots of “Ouzo of Plomari.” Gountis explained the gyros were so great because of the tzatziki sauce made from scratch by his mother, who went to painstaking lengths to use only the freshest of yogurt.

It’s more than just gyros though.

Mars Bar is a great place to relax outdoors, with tables out front and a full patio in the back. On a recent early Sunday afternoon, a couple of regulars were taking turns playing corny pop songs on the digital jukebox before taking their beers outside to smoke some cigarettes and get some fresh air.

It wasn’t long before they were back inside, of course. Back to the safe confines of a bar stool and the luminescent glow of low-watt lights.

Back to the warm embrace of cold booze and idle conversation. Back to friends and family.

HOUSE OF SWING 4490 Mayfield Rd., South Euclid, 216-382-2771 First: Beaucoup points to this place for boasting the most unassuming exterior with regard to how cool the inside really is.

The House of Swing isn’t a dive bar in the most accurate sense of the term (“divey blues club,” we suppose), but it’s got all the right elements. Once inside, you’re in a totally different universe (this place is in South Euclid?!), surrounded by memorabilia from the past and the

Photo by Eric Sandy

steady, wonderful bliss of rock ’n’ roll present.

This room is one of the more important fulcrums of Cleveland’s blues scene. The region’s magnetic personalities gather here on the reg, performing for vibrant crowds and supporting one another. Righteous, righteous music is made in the tiny corner on the far end of the bar. Heroes are christened beneath twinkling strings of lights. B.B. King and Muddy Waters played here, for heaven’s sake.

On a recent night, the Alan Greene Band was throwing down a heated set of bluesy rock, attracting an enthusiastic crowd and reminding all in attendance that this is the sort of atmosphere we seek in our bars.

Men and women danced in the thin thoroughfare between tables and bar; rounds of beers flowed like wine as the music rolled onward.

It’s clear that owner Linda Kallie cares dearly for this place and its history and its friends. Dive bar management is, as we’ve learned, a labor of love. Combine that with the music venue biz, and you’ve got a living machine that chugs along merrily on the strength of its people.

Linda is a star here.

In the back of the place lies an awe-inspiring sanctuary of vinyl,

stuff that gets sifted through and played constantly. We’re talking more than 15,000 vintage albums and 78s — stocked mainly from Linda’s late husband’s personal and beloved collection. There’s something reverent about the room, accented even more so, again, by the bar’s unpretentious vibe.

Clark Bar 1201 Clark Ave., 216-344-9999 Nestled in the less visited and unpublicized section of Tremont — on the “other” side of I-490 — is a dive bar that people call the “best-kept secret in the neighborhood.” It’s a simple, small, old-school, no-frills bar where a host of local regulars drop by to eat and drink, cheaply, with their friends and neighbors.

Everybody knows everybody here.

First timers are welcomed with a smile and introduction so that they too may soon know everybody.

“If we don’t know you, somebody will say hi and get to know you,” says owner Scott Sosenko. Sosenko’s father, Richard, bought in the place in the late 1990s after it had been closed for 20 years, and today it feels just like it did in the decades and decades prior when it was first opened. Large photos and paintings of Cleveland’s steel mills and old

The alan Greene Band performs at House of Swing.

Cleveland sports memorabilia adorn the wood-paneled walls throughout the small, one-room bar. A man named Virgil, an 87-year-old who lives around the corner, is always present, whether it’s in person, holding court at one of the tables, or from within the large black-and-white photograph that hangs on the wall next to the bar: Virgil standing next to legendary boxer Rocky Marciano, back in the 1950s.

Everybody there raves about the food, as it’s one of the few bars in the area with a working kitchen that opens in the morning. Stop

by for breakfast and lunch for the daily specials and come back later (or stay, really) for cheap drinks.

The kitchen, manned by Sosenko, is open from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. on weekdays, 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Saturday, 8 a.m. to noon on Sunday.

The “City Chicken” lunch special on Tuesdays is the obvious favorite: “The best and cheapest lunch in town,” a regular, Joe, made sure to tell me. “Five-dollar holler!”

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UNLEASH YOUR INNER CHILD WITH ADULT BEVERAGES.

Detroit Ave, Lakewood + 16-BitBar.com

22

| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

everything you should do this week

GET OUT WED

Courtesy of the Greater Cleveland Aquarium

07/01

who understands the everyday struggles of being a father. From dirty diapers to his daughter’s first boyfriend, the BET comedian explores the small joys and annoyances of parenthood through a sardonic lens.

The show starts at 7:30 p.m. and Bonner performs again tomorrow, Friday and Sunday. Tickets are $12.

(Rees) 1148 Main Ave., 216-696-IMPROV, clevelandimprov.com.

FESTIVAL

The Bay Way Fourth of July nights are best spent drinking beer with friends and ooh-ing at fireworks. But before the rockets red glare, Clevelanders need a place to start the party. All week, Bay Village hosts its annual Bay Days, an event that celebrates everything red, white and blue. Today’s big event is the Classic Car Cruise-in featuring, you guessed it, a smattering of classic cars on display at Cahoon Park. The rest of the weekend features live music, carnival rides and, of course, fireworks. Bay Days start at noon each day. Entry is free with universal, unlimited ride tickets for $18.

(Brittany Rees) 27600 Lake Rd., Bay Village, cityofbayvillage.com.

MUSIC

A family friendly affair, the annual Red, White & Brew Music Festival returns to the Greater Cleveland Aquarium. See: Saturday.

MUSIC

Family Fun One of Cleveland’s favorite ongoing summer event series, Wade Oval Wednesdays has returned for its eighth year, promising locals an electric line-up of free performances each week from June through August.

Tonight, the veteran local reggae act Carlos Jones and the P.L.U.S. Band headlines. The concerts run from 6 to 9 p.m. in University Circle. Admission is free. (Alaina Nutile) universitycircle.org/events/2012/06/ wow-wade-oval-wednesdays.

FOOD

Food Trucks Aplenty Walnut Wednesday, the unofficial holiday for Clevelanders who work or play downtown during lunchtime, is back, thanks to the people at Downtown Cleveland Alliance. Today from 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m., some 30 food trucks will gather at Perk Plaza at Chester Commons (East 12th and Walnut) to serve up delicious eats.

Live entertainment, usually of the musical variety, is also expected.

Follow the Downtown Cleveland Alliance on Facebook for weekly updates on vendors, entertainment offerings and more. (Nutile) East 12th and Walnut Street, facebook.com/ DowntownClevelandAlliance.

NIGHTLIFE

Hoppin’ Rad Much like the Fat Head’s tasting room in Middleburg Heights, the Hoppin’ Frog Tasting Room in Akron is in a

non-descript strip of storage facilities and warehouses. But step inside and you’ll find a cozy tasting room with a huge array of the brewery’s wonderful libations. The place features “hoppy hour” every weekday from 3 to 7 p.m.

Tonight, the brewers visit the tasting room from 5 to 7 p.m. While they don’t fill growlers, you can drink bottles on site or take ’em to go. The place also offers a “Hoppin’ Frog Rare & Vintage” list as well as a guest bottle list. And you can order from a limited food menu too. (Jeff Niesel) 1680-F Waterloo Rd., Akron, 234-525-3764, hoppinfrog.com/tasting-room.

MUSIC

It’s a Celebration Since 1989, the Cleveland Orchestra has made it a point to light up downtown with wonderful music during the week of July Fourth.

Not only is the holiday already very communal and neighborly, but the Cleveland Orchestra gives us all a chance to revisit the music that has come to define us as humans (see Tchaikovsky’s “1812” Overture, for example). Rock bands and Americana songwriting have become our soundtrack to summer in the U.S., but classical music — performed ’neath twilit skies in the greatest city in the world — gets us closer to the human condition. Fireworks end the evening, which is just awesome. This year’s Star-Spangled Spectacular starts at 5 p.m. on Mall B with a gathering of food trucks. The concert begins at

9 p.m. Admission is free, but space fills up fast! Find details, maps and parking info on the website. (Eric Sandy) clevelandorchestra.com.

Party on the Patio During the summer months, the folks at Luxe Kitchen & Lounge make use of their outdoor patio to host Luxe Kitchen & Lounge Songwriters on the Patio. A casual affair that features some of the city’s best singersongwriters, it offers a good chance to hear some great music in an intimate setting. Tonight, the indie folk duo Maura Rogers & the Bellows perform from 7 to 9 p.m. In the event of rain, music will be rescheduled. Updates will be posted on Luxe’s Facebook page.

Admission is free. (Niesel) 6605 Detroit Ave., 216-920-0600, luxecleveland.com.

ART

Kulchur Clash Today and continuing through September, the Gordon Square Arts District hosts Patio Kulchur, “an evening of art in the arts district.”

Area merchants will present music, theater, dance and visual arts on their patios from 6 until 9 p.m. The event follows the Gordon Square Farmers Market, which runs from 4 till 7.

Maps and listings will be available at the venues as well as at the Gordon Square Farmers Market. “This is a fantastic opportunity for folks to come down to the Arts District and explore what we have to offer,” says Adam Rosen, Detroit Shoreway economic development director, in a press release. “There’s such vibrancy here — incredible restaurants, bars, and retail — and amazing patios — and the arts form the thread that ties everything together. Patio Kulchur is reflective of our community.” (Niesel) gordonsquare.com.

FILM

Promoting Pacifism Get your tissues ready: The Cleveland Museum of Art is screening the heartrending Estonian film Tangerines tonight at 7. Directed by Georgian filmmaker Zaza Urushadze, the film was nominated for Best Foreign Film at the 2014 Oscars and surely deserved it. Set during the 1992 war in Abkhazia, Tangerines follows elderly citrus farmers Margus and Ivo as they take in two wounded soldiers from opposite sides of the battle. The green, rowdy privates gain wisdom from being treated by older, calmer hands, while the elderly men rediscover the appeal of youth. Though a simple, familiar story, Tangerines is still poignant and affecting, reinforcing the theme of pacifism. It screens again tomorrow night. Tickets are $9. (Rees) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.

NIGHTLIFE

COMEDY

Mike Check Call the sitter. Comic Mike Bonner takes the stage at the Improv tonight for a parent-friendly routine. Of course, that doesn’t mean it’s kid friendly.

Bonner has made a name for himself as a relatable, down-to-earth comedian

Sommerbier Here Every month, Hofbrauhaus Cleveland hosts a tasting of its monthly beers at a “celebratory keg tapping.” Today, stop in to try its July beer, Sommerbier, a lager brewed from an original recipe from Munich. Robin Swoboda, a longtime radio and TV personality,

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 23

GET OUT

Where Our Lake Awaits...

Ashtabula County

presents

Party Under the Stars with

Brent Kirby Cleveland Scene winner of “Best Singer” and “Best Male Vocal” Home to...The Grand River Valley & Lake ErieWine Regions 18 Covered Bridges

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FIREWORKS

Friday July 24, 2015, 7pm Shaker Historical Society 16740 S Park Blvd. • Shaker Heights

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July 4th, 10pm GOTL Monster Pub Crawl Now - Sept 7 Old Firehouse Craft Show

July 4, 11, 18 & 25th

Christmas in July @ High Tide Tavern Great Lakes Christmas Ale on Tap

Month of July

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Tickets: $30 and include light refreshments, beer & wine To purchase: 216- 916-9360 or www.shakerartscouncil.org Bring the family, kids under 5 are free

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TUESDAY, JULY 7 7:00PM REGAL RICHMOND TOWN SQUARE FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN A PASS TO THE 3D SCREENING, VISIT TINYURL.COM/ MINIONS CLEVELAND

DUPLICATE ENTRIES WILL BE DELETED. One entry per name and email address. One pass per person. Each pass admits two. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Employees of all promotional partners and their agencies are not eligible.

Entries must be received by 5pm on Sunday, July 5.

IN THEATERS JULY 10 MINIONSMOVIE.COM

24

| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

will tap the keg. Swoboda, who lives in Medina, works for WFHM and its sister station, WHK AM 1420. Local musician Joey Tomsick will perform during the tapping, which takes place at 6:30 p.m. (Niesel) 1550 Chester Ave., 216-621-2337, hofbrauhauscleveland.com.

NIGHTLIFE

Talking Heads Keep Talking is an exciting storytellers program where locals can share their real-life experiences on a theme. This month’s theme is “I’ve Said Too Much.” Stories range from the insightful and sad to the funny and bizarre. Held in the Happy Dog’s basement, the Underdog, the series is your chance to grab a drink and a dog and listen to some of your Cleveland neighbors amuse you with their tales.

Tonight’s edition starts at 8 and costs $5. (Patrick Stoops) 5801 Detroit Ave., 216-651-9474, happydogcleveland.com.

COMEDY

With Finesse Finesse Mitchell has had a crazy 2015. Picking up three major network pilots and a Comedy Central special, Mitchell’s apparently still not too busy to go on tour. Tonight at 8, Mitchell will be getting laughs at Hilarities. A strong-willed Southerner, the Atlantaborn comedian’s routine deals with scaring off his sister’s boyfriends and adjusting to the Hollyweird culture of L.A. The Saturday Night Live alum has shows scheduled through Saturday. Tickets are $18 to $23.

(Rees) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.

THUR 07/02 ART

An Annual Tradition Featuring some 160 juried artists, the annual Boston Mills Artfest, now in its 44th year, is one of the summer’s best art shows, featuring an outstanding array of wares. Not so big on art? Then come for the food, live entertainment and music, as well as an “art and play” tent for the kiddos.

A special preview takes place tonight from 6 to 9; show hours are 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. tomorrow and Saturday and 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Sunday. Ticket prices are $8 for adults, less for kids and seniors. (Alexandra Hintz) 7100 Riverview Rd., Peninsula, 330-467-2242, bmbw.com.

FOOD

Fresh Food North Union Farmers Market returns to U.S. Bank Plaza at 10:30 a.m. for a regular Thursday morning stop that will continue all summer.

The market is an “urban desert oasis of fresh and sustainable local farm foods directly from the farm owner.”

There will also be live entertainment.

The weekly market continues through Sept. 17. (Niesel) East 14th Street and Euclid Avenue, 216-771-4444, playhousesquare.org.

ART

A Graphic Discussion Graphic novels aren’t typically peopled by the fairer sex, but when authors do write women into their storylines, the baddest beatdowns bleed on the page. Such is the case for DC Comics’ Batwoman: World’s Finest. The graphic novel, pairing Batwoman and Wonder Woman for the ultimate estrogen-fueled smackdown, is being discussed today at the Cleveland Public Library. As a continuation of Ohio Center for the Book’s biweekly Trauma and Transformation book club, the discussion will question the morality of violence against women in comics and the suffering of superheroes in general. The meet-up begins at 4 p.m. on the second floor of the main library.

(Rees) 325 Superior Ave., 216-623-2800, ohiocenterforthebook.org.

COMEDY

Jam On The Angry Ladies of Improv has hosted the Cleveland Improv Jam for four years now. A few years back, Scene described the show as “fierce, formidable and very funny.” The evening begins each Thursday at 8 p.m. with a set of short-form improv games followed by a long-form improv set. It’s happening at Sachsenheim Hall. Arrive at 7:30 if you want to sign up and perform. Admission is free.

(Niesel) 7001 Denison Ave., 216-651-0888, facebook.com/clevelandimprovjam.

THEATER

Much Ado About Shakespeare If you like Shakespeare and you don’t want to read the plays, this is the perfect event for you. The Ohio Shakespeare Festival is presenting its 14th season at Stan Hywet Hall and Gardens in Akron. Tonight, they’ll perform Much Ado About Nothing, a comedic love story about two young girls, Hero and Beatrice, who fall in love with soldiers returning home from the war. Gates open at 6 p.m. for picnic dinners, and the performance starts at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $12

for tonight’s preview show; weekend performances continue through July 19. (Hintz) 714 North Portage Path, Akron, 330-836-5533, stanhywet.org. music

A Patriotic Party Thomas Wilkins conducts the Cleveland Orchestra as it plays a selection of American classics and patriotic tunes at tonight’s America the Beautiful concert at Blossom Music Center. Expect to hear some “light classics,” Broadway and Hollywood favorites, as well as the “1812” Overture. Baritone Nathan Gunn will sing two of Aaron Copland’s Old American Songs and Lerner & Loewe’s “If Ever I Would Leave You” from Camelot. And yes, the concert will be capped off with a terrific fireworks display. The concert begins at 8 p.m. and tickets start at $24. The program repeats tomorrow night. (Niesel) 1145 West Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216-231-1111 clevelandorchestra.com. nightlife

A Watershed Moment Columbus-based Watershed Distillery has a mission statement that we can get behind. The distillery says it’s “committed to producing small batches of artisan-quality spirits, helping to establish a vibrant distilling culture in Ohio.” Founded in 2010, the distillery is famous for its bourbon barrel gin and it also produces vodka and bourbon. You can sample the stuff tonight at 7 at Mahall’s at a special Night of Music, Food & Cocktails. Live bands will play during and after dinner. Tickets are $40. (Niesel) 13200 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216-521-3280, mahalls20lanes.com.

FRI

07/03

arts

Art Walk July’s Walk All Over Waterloo kicks off tonight at 5. BRICK Ceramic + Design Studio presents work by Spencer Cowan and Jordan Fine, and Praxis Fiber Workshop hosts Fiber Re:New, a Textile Art Alliance members showcase. Additionally, you’ll have another chance to see STIV: 1976 (lost photographs by Dave Treat) at Gallery 160 and the Waterloo Arts Fest Juried Exhibition at Waterloo Arts. Article hosts a Starving Artist Sale, and Space ROCK showcases photographs by Kevin D. Carmont.

Get there early and explore the neighborhood. It’s free. (Josh Usmani) waterlooarts.org. comedy

80s Act Don’t expect fresh baked cookies at this grandma’s house. Standup comic Grandma Lee isn’t the sweet grandmother you know. Instead, she hollers about her missing kidney and tells her audience to “cut the crap.” After a fairly successful stint on America’s Got Talent (Lee was a finalist), the 81-yearold retiree hit the road, complaining on stage for the entire country. Tonight, she performs at the Rocksino at 7:30 and 10; she’s back again at 4 and 7 on Sunday.

Tickets are $13 to $18. (Rees) 10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330-908-7793, hrrocksinonorthfieldpark.com.

2015

N ATIO M R .C O M NFO I T R & E ETS ONC C K TICK EPAR H T K RO C

celebrate

Party in the Park The Akron Rubber Ducks wrap up a three-game series against the Bay Sox tonight at 7:05 at Canal Park. Because the game takes place the day before the Fourth of July, the Park is celebrating before the game with inflatables and live bands on the street. Fireworks, naturally, will follow. Tickets start at $9. (Niesel) 300 South Main St., Akron, 330-253-5153, akronrubberducks.com.

festival

An All-American Haven The Fourth of July is the time to show off just how embarrassingly patriotic you can be. Nelson Ledges’ Quarry is the place to do just that. The camp grounds are open all weekend to celebrate the United States’ 239th birthday. With acoustic rock jams from local artist Willy Mac and fireworks on Saturday night, Nelson Ledges is an all-American haven for revelers.

Tickets — which include music and camping — are $20 for one night, or $15 a night if you stay the whole weekend. You can find full details on the website. (Rees) 12001 State Route 282, Garrettsville, 440-548-2716, nlqp.com.

PRESENTED BY

film

Shark Story One day, you wake up and Jaws is 40 years old. One of Steven Spielberg’s most iconic films, Jaws united Americans by instilling a universal fear of sharks. Released at a time when actors worked on location and monsters were animatronic, it also broke all kinds of box office records and unleashed the beast that has become the summer blockbuster. It screens tonight at 9:30 at the Cedar Lee and shows again tomorrow and Sunday nights at the same time.

Tickets are $6. (Rees) 2163 Lee Rd., Cleveland Heights, 216-321-5411, clevelandcinemas.com.

AY D I R F 10 Y L JU

s r o t H RG, O sona

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FREE PARKING FOOD TRUCKS ICE-COLD BEER & WINE magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 25

GET OUT SAT

07/04

FESTIVAL

Brews and Views The Greater Cleveland Aquarium has booked some of the top local acts to play its Fourth Annual Red, White & Brew Music Festival today from noon to midnight. The all-day music festival features 10 local acts on two stages, and the garage blues act Welshly Arms will serve as the headliner. In addition, the Moxies, the Speedbumps, Herzog, Cities and Coasts, Ryan Humbert, Austin Walkin’ Cane and Kristine Jackson, Diana Chittester, Cody J. Martin and Leah Lou and the Two Left Shoes are slated to perform. Come evening, the riverfront location offers a fine view of the city’s fireworks. The Greater Cleveland Aquarium, home to an enormous 230,000-gallon shark tank, will also be open all day, with the last admission at 8 p.m. Food trucks include Jingle Brothers Ice Cream, Thee Oasis Grille and Jones Bones BBQ. Tickets are $29.95 for adults. Children (ages 2 to 12) are free with the purchase of a GCA general admission ticket. Greater Cleveland Aquarium pass holders receive discounted tickets at the rate of $10 per adult. (Niesel) 2000 Sycamore Street, 216-862-8803, greaterclevelandaquarium.com.

configurations locally. Tonight, he brings his backing band, the Cherry Bombs, to the Harp for its annual Independence Day Blast. From the Harp’s patio, you’ll get a great view of the City of Cleveland’s fireworks.

You can even sit out on the lawn and watch, but it’s BYOB: bring your own blanket. (Niesel) 4408 Detroit Ave., 216-939-0200, the-harp.com.

9:45 p.m. It’s free. (Liz Trenholme) 14532 Lake Ave., Lakewood, 216-521-7580, onelakewood.com.

SUN

07/05

OUTDOORS

FILM

All About Canal Basin Park Walking around downtown Cleveland in the winter sucks. Walking

Danish Dame Turns out, being a princess isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be.

If the Danish film A Royal Affair is to be trusted, it’s actually quite a hassle. Director Nikolaj Arcel’s Oscar-nominated foreign film centers around real-life 18th-century princess and Queen of Denmark Caroline Matilda. Hitched to the historically insane King Christian, Caroline finds herself trapped in a loveless marriage and surrounded by a rocky political climate. Unsurprisingly, Caroline cheats on her husband, as queens sometimes do, and the bulk of the film is spent chronicling that love triangle.

A Royal Affair screens today at the Cleveland Museum of Art at 1:30 p.m.

Tickets are $9. (Rees) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.

MON

MUSIC

Patio Party Local singer-songwriter Chris Allen is one of the hardest working musicians in town. Allen, whose music takes inspiration from the likes of Bruce Springsteen and Tom Petty, plays in a number of

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07/06

FOOD

Industry Brunch Brunch isn’t just a Saturday/Sunday thing. Over at Mahall’s, you can grab a great brunch on Mondays as the club caters to industry folks who have the day off. Not that you have to work in the restaurant industry to indulge. The menu features items such as Chicken and Donuts, a dish that features three pieces of fried chicken along with two Old Hushers doughnuts. Other staples include the Everything Pretzel and the Creamy Egg Sandwich. A live DJ from WCSB will be on hand to spin cool tunes too.

It runs from noon to 4. (Niesel) 13200 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216-521-3280, mahalls20lanes.com.

MUSIC

A Classical Case Loras John Schissel conducts the Blossom Festival Band as it plays a program of American classics and patriotic selections. Dubbed A Salute to America, the concert will feature patriotic hits, Sousa marches, Broadway favorites by Rodgers & Hart and an Armed Forces salute. The concert will spotlight Sergeant First Class Harold Summey Jr. of the United States Army Band as xylophone soloist, in an arrangement of Fritz Kreisler’s Tambourin Chinois. Fireworks follow the concert. The performance begins at 8 p.m at Blossom Music Center and tickets start at $24. (Niesel) 1145 West Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.

historic figures from Cleveland’s past.

Today’s tour explores Canal Basin Park in the Flats. Meet at 10 a.m. at Settler’s Landing RTA Station. (Niesel) 1278 West Ninth St., clevelandgatewaydistrict.com.

FILM

CELEBRATE

Rockets Red Glare If you haven’t seen Lakewood’s fireworks display, you’re missing out.

Set over the lake at Lakewood Park, the show always includes pyrotechnics of various colors, shapes and designs, and the finale is a show in and of itself.

Get there early to stake out your spot because the park fills up fast. A live band will kick things off with a 7 p.m. concert; the fireworks start around

| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

around downtown Cleveland in the summer can be a really rewarding experience. A program featuring free guided walking tours of five distinct neighborhoods in downtown Cleveland, Take a Hike explores the Gateway District, Warehouse District, Civic Center, Playhouse Square neighborhood and Canal Basin Park in the Flats. Each tour lasts approximately 90 minutes and features actors and actresses portraying

Movie Mondays Every Monday, Cleveland Cinemas hosts $6 Movie Mondays, where film fans can catch up on the latest Hollywood flicks for significantly reduced prices. Bring your friends and family and make Movie Mondays a weekly tradition — many theaters even offer discounted concession stand items. Participating theaters include Apollo Theatre, Capitol Theatre, Cedar Lee Theatre, Chagrin Cinemas, Shaker Square Cinemas and Tower City Cinemas. Unfortunately, additional charges apply for 3-D movies. (Nutile) clevelandcinemas.com.

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 27

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| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 29

GET OUT

It all begins at 7 p.m. in the brewery basement. Other than the cost of your beers, it’s free. (Allard) 1947 West 25th St., 216-621-4000, marketgardenbrewery.com.

SPORTS

A Much-Improved Team At the start of what’s turning into an unfortunate season, the Indians took two of three games from a muchimproved Houston Astros team. Now, the Astros are back to play the Indians on their home turf. The Astros have a solid team of young players who have performed beyond expectations. The Tribe has a team of young players who have performed below expectations.

Expect this three-game series, which commences tonight at 7:10, to be a good one. Tickets start at $10. (Niesel) 2401 Ontario St., 216-420-4487, clevelandindians.com.

NIGHTLIFE

Solve the “What To Do This Weekend” Puzzle.

New! Solve-It Summer Weekends Four BIG weekends of fun and games.

Every Saturday and Sunday in July.

Find out more at GreatScience.com

Great times inspire great minds.

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| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

Trivia Pursuits Do you have tons of obscure music knowledge? Are you a student of fast food menus and their nuanced histories? What say you about the geographic evolution of Scotch whisky? Tonight’s your chance to wow your friends, make yourself instantly more desirable to someone you’re newly dating, and hang with Cleveland’s headiest hipsters and hot dog lovers. It’s the Happy Dog Monday Night Trivia. Starting at 8 p.m., expect themed rounds — it’s a crapshot — and general knowledge questions that seem considerably trickier than some of the other live trivia locales in town. Obviously, have a hot dog and a craft brew while you’re at it. And arrive early. The tables fill up quickly.

(Sam Allard) 5801 Detroit Ave., 216-651-9474, happydogcleveland.com.

MUSIC

Found Sounds At today’s “organic noise happy hour” contest at Now That’s Class, you can only make noise by using your mouth, throat, limbs or any other part of your body. No additional electronics or instruments are allowed. Of course, the club is encouraging humor and creativity. And yes, there are prizes.

First place gets a $25 bar tab. Runner up will receive a copy of the new Mr. California 7-inch. Three judges will determine the winner based on talent, crowd response, creativity and stage presence. It all starts at 5 p.m.

Admission is free. (Niesel) 11213 Detroit Ave., 216-221-8576, nowthatsclass.net.

OUTDOORS

Middle East Matters The “agreed framework” announced

by Iran, the United States and five other world powers in April suggested that it will lessen Iran’s isolation and create a safer Middle East. But will it really? The City Club of Cleveland, the Cleveland Council on World Affairs, International Partners in Mission and the Northeast Consortium for Middle Eastern Studies have teamed up to host a conversation on “the legal, political, social and economic ramifications of the Iran nuclear deal.” The talk begins at 7:30 p.m. at the Happy Dog. Admission is free. (Niesel) 5801 Detroit Ave., 216-651-9474, happydogcleveland.com.

SHOPPING

TUE

07/07

NIGHTLIFE

Drink and Think It’s Brews & Prose time again, Cleveland literati. Come on down to Market Garden Brewery on West 25th for two powerhouse readings, marking the third annivesary of the readers and writers program. The author of the novels The Paris Wife and A Ticket to Ride, Clevelander Paula McLain has received fellowships from Yaddo, the MacDowell Colony and the National Endowment for the Arts. Originally from Cleveland, the Big Apple’s Mary Norris began working at The New Yorker in 1978. Now the mag’s copy editor, she’s the author of Between You and Me: Confessions of a Comma Queen. As usual, the writers will stick around to chat and sign books.

Stop and Shop According to sponsors at the Downtown Cleveland Alliance, the Nine Twelve Shop Stop offers downtowners a “new opportunity to buy local from area vendors.”

Mobile retailers and food trucks will gather today and every Tuesday throughout the summer from 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. on the corner of East Ninth Street and St. Clair Avenue.

Participants in today’s pop-up shop op include the Wandering Wardrobe and the Round About fashion trucks as well as food trucks Wok ’n’ Roll, Sterles and Mason’s Creamery. And today you can enjoy music by Anne E. Dechant.(Niesel) 1375 East Ninth St., downtowncleaveland.

Find more events @clevescene.com t@cleveland_scene

Images by Brandon Juhasz

ART IS THIS REAL LIFE?

Brandon Juhasz’s photographs and sculptures showcase real life

By Josh Usmani LESS THAN A WEEK AFTER a rainy Waterloo Arts Fest, Collinwood’s Maria Neil Art Project (MNAP) hosts an opening reception from 5 to 10 p.m. this Friday for IRL , photographs and sculptures by Cleveland-based artist/photographer Brandon Juhasz.

Instead of traditionally documenting his environment through conventional photography, Juhasz reappropriates stock photos from the Internet, camera phones and other nontraditional sources to construct his imagery with a painterly sensibility. Juhasz’s cyclical process includes selecting imagery, printing it out, physically constructing three-dimensional scenes and photographing them.

By the end, his creative process comes around full circle, as the constructed imagery returns to a photographic medium.

“It is a world designed to make the real world feel lifeless and dirty,” Juhasz has said. “A thousand years ago, you could have lived in a hut and been happy because you didn’t know that life could be any better. But in 21st century America, you are constantly being shown how much better life can be, and that is what makes your life so fucking intolerable.”

Juhasz found inspiration for IRL from this previous statement. This preceding quoted material is part of a Deadspin article from the end of last year: a rather scathing critique of the materialistic consumerism of Western civilization (and some might say Western civilization itself) through a review of the 2013 Williams-Sonoma Holiday Catalog.

Juhasz explains, “A riot of a read.

This quote from the author was a great jumping off point. IRL is me thinking about and attempting to make art in an age where everything is accessible and fluid.”

“Muse”

By reappropriating images found online, Juhasz’s process explores technology and the Internet’s role in the changing landscape of contemporary art, and most principally, photography.

“I wanted to make photographs not like how traditionally we think of photos but how photography functions in today’s culture,” he expounds. “How do everyday people use photography? It is much different than the point-and-shoot everyday snapshots of just a decade ago. Now it is data. Transformative,

that is beautifully attractive.”

Farina adds, “It’s great to have the culmination of two years’ worth of engaging work on the wall. We’ve complemented Brandon’s colorful work with some equally colorful enhancements in the gallery.”

Juhasz earned his BFA from Bowling Green State University.

He’s had solo exhibitions in Kansas City and St. Louis, as well as SPACES in Cleveland. Additionally, he’s participated in group shows in Omaha, Washington D.C., New York, Atlanta; and locally at venues

BRANDON JUHASZ: IRL 15813 WATERLOO RD., 216-481-7722, MARIANEILARTPROJECT.COM

malleable, authorless. We feed the machine with our images and they can be taken, made viral, augmented, personalized, memed.

So I use stock photos, found photos, Photoshop drawings, personal photos all mashed up to make these images that touch on a wide array of themes such as sex, desire, masculinity, power and failure. I just wanted to really relay how I feel it is to live today in a hybrid real and digital world.”

IRL includes 13 new photographs and four sculptures. The Maria Neil Art Project’s owners, Adam Tully and John Farina, have been busy making cosmetic changes to the exhibition space to complement Juhasz’s work.

“Every piece in this exhibition incorporates images we encounter every day,” says Tully. “Brandon turns upside down and reinterprets these commonalities into high art

such as FORUM Art Space and Cleveland West Art League at 78th Street Studios, Bonfoey Gallery, MOCA Cleveland, Zygote Press, Cleveland Print Room, Cleveland State University, Dana Depew’s legendary former Asterisk Gallery in Tremont and more.

Earlier this year, he curated It’s All Been Done Before, a group exhibition at FORUM Art Space as part of Third Friday at 78th Street Studios. He’s given lectures and presentations at Cleveland State University, MOCA Cleveland and PechaKucha Night Cleveland. In 2013, he was awarded a Creative Workforce Fellowship by Cuyahoga Arts and Culture and Community Partnership for Arts and Culture.

Both Juhasz and MNAP are working on more projects around town. Juhasz is collaborating with Lauren Davies of the new 2731 Prospect Contemporary Art Space

(formerly William Busta Gallery) to develop Foreign Exchange, an international online photography competition that will ultimately culminate with a group exhibition of the top six portfolios at 2731 Prospect. The competition’s jurors are FlakPhoto editor Andy Adams, Transformer Station co-founder Laura Ruth Bidwell and GUP Magazine chief editor Katherine Oktober Matthews.

Submissions will open in the fall. For more information, visit Foreignexchangephoto.com.

The Maria Neil Art Project has extended its efforts to promote local and regional art and artists beyond its gallery walls. Farina and Tully have partnered with their nearby neighbor Grovewood Tavern (17105 Grovewood Ave.) to showcase a revolving roster of local artists.

This month’s line-up includes abstract mixed media work by Leslye Arian, encaustic wax industrial (“Rust Belt”) landscapes

by Dawn Tekler and meditative paper constructions by Charity Thomas. For more information, visit Marianeilartproject.com, and click on “On Location.”

Brandon Juhasz: IRL runs through August 16. Additional viewing hours are available Wednesdays from 3 to 8 p.m., Saturdays and Sundays noon to 5 p.m. and by appointment.

The exhibition and all related programming are free.

jusmani@clevescene.com t@cleveland_scene

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 31

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Photo by Cory Molner

STAGE

The Reckless Ruthless Brutal Charge of It, or The Train Play is now onstage at convergence-continuum.

RUNNING WITH THE DOGS OF SUMMER Our hot months are off to a scorching start with these upcoming shows

By Christine Howey THE “DOG DAYS” OF SUMMER —from now till the middle of August — are called that because Sirius, the Dog Star, rises at the same time as the sun. And that apparently makes us hot and prone to inactivity, not to mention liberally self-medicating with Margaritas.

Setting aside the issue of why we can’t train that damn dog to get off his lazy haunches and rise in February, when we need him, let’s consider some rudimentary activities you might indulge during these upcoming dog days. For example, there are many theaters producing some enticing work, in the open air and also in the chilly confines of air conditioning. So take your pick!

If you like being outside at dusk, listening to the flowing words of William Shakespeare, you have more than one option. The Cleveland Shakespeare Festival (cleveshakes. com) travels around the area, presenting productions of Old Will’s stuff for people laid out on blankets and relaxing in their folding chairs.

CSF opens The Merchant of Venice on July 17, at Peace Park in the Coventry Road area, and then tours it to eight more locations through August 2.

On the other hand, the Ohio Shakespeare Festival (ohioshakespearefestival.com) stays

put, and for good reason. They’re ensconced in the lovely lagoon area at Akron’s Stan Hywet Hall & Gardens, and one could not ask for a more beauteous venue. Their production of Much Ado About Nothing opens this weekend, and their staging of King Henry V opens July 31. If Shakespeare scares you off, relax. The OSF company, under the sharp direction of Terry Burgler, makes even dense Shakespeare marvelously accessible.

If you like being outside, but not totally, try the Porthouse covered outdoor theater on the campus of the Blossom Music Center (kent.edu/ porthouse). This talented troupe, headquartered at Kent State, will be presenting two tuneful experiences: Violet, a fascinating Jeanine Tesori musical about a young woman who seeks out an evangelical minister to transform her disfigured face; and Hairspray, the Broadway musical that follows pleasantly plump Tracy Turnblad as she tries to dance on the Dick Clark (er, Corny Collins) TV show.

Now, we move inside to theaters that have artificial creature comforts, such as A/C (at least, some of them do). The Oberlin Summer Theater Festival (oberlinsummertheaterfestival.com) is back and get this: It’s free! All you

have to do is make a reservation, but keep your credit card in your wallet. First up is Treasure Island, recommended for ages 6 and up.

Then it’s All’s Well That Ends Well

by William you-know-who, along with Crumbs from the Table of Joy by Pulitzer Prize-winner Lynn Nottage. The shows run in rep through August 8.

Now just because theaters aren’t doing summer theater festivals doesn’t mean they’re not doing theater in the summer.

Take convergence-continuum (convergence-continuum.org), which is involved all summer long with shows such as The Train Play. It’s running now, no pun intended, and it’s a comic-poetic collision with time and other stuff. That will be followed

by Tear It Off by Cleveland playwright Mike Geither, opening August 14.

At the Beck Center (beck center. org), they’re doing American Idiot, a sung-through staging of the rock opera of the same name by popular band Green Day. It opens next week and runs through August 16. And Mamai Theatre (mamaitheatreco. org) is chiming in with the Tennessee Williams’ classic A Streetcar Named Desire. Opening July 16, the play is directed by Mitchell Fields.

If you want a shot of big Broadway pizzazz while you’re sweltering

in your Bermudas, try Rogers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella at Playhouse Square (playhousesquare. org), running — with or without both glass slippers — from July 21 to August 2. On a slightly smaller scale, the Mercury Theatre Company (mercurytheatre company.org) is doing their youthful, energetic and often quite talented thing with the musicals Camelot (July 10 to 25) and Mary Poppins (August 7 to 22).

If you like nothing more than a stage full of people, lots of them kids and acting their socks off, don’t forget the Near West Theatre (nearwesttheatre.org) production of Hair (July 24 to August 9) in their wonderful new digs at Gordon Square.

And finally, as we emerge from the dog days, Blank Canvas Theatre (blankcanvastheatre.com) will train its often edgy sights on a classic: Thornton Wilder’s Our Town, from August 14 to 29. Of course, that old astrological dog may not be rising any more at that point. But if you’re a hound for good theater, these next few weeks may be more satisfying than a vigorous belly scratch, complete with the jerking leg.

scene@clevescene.com t@christinehowey

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 33

You and a guest are invited to a special screening

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MOVIES

in theaters

REVIEW OF THE WEEK: ME AND EARL AND THE DYING GIRL

ALSO OPENING

ONE HAS TO CLOSE ONE’S EYES AND REALLY strain to imagine a film with more signposts of Sundance-darlinghood than Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, which opens Wednesday for the long holiday weekend at the Cedar Lee. Endlessly verbal, cripplingly antisocial, white teenage protag? Check. Hip, dispassionate, straightshootingly wise black best bud? Check. Slowblossoming romance with cancer-ridden neighbor?

Check good. Score abundant with ambient indierock up-and-comers? Stop-motion arts-and-crafts cutaways? Nick Offerman? A cool, self-aware title like Me and Earl and the Dying Girl? This is all so obvious it doesn’t bear mentioning, right? The film’s whole aura and ’tude communicate an indie preciousness that right off the bat induces about as much skepticism as its mainstream analog, The Fault in Our Stars.

And yet: What a winner! Bursting with heart and wit, this one nails its sweet-and-sour tone with nearperfect balance.

Greg Gaines (Thomas Mann) is compelled by his parents (Nick Offerman and Connie Britton) to befriend his classmate Rachel Kushner (Olivia Cooke) — in Greg’s meticulous social taxonomy: Snobby Jewish Senior, Subgroup A — who has been diagnosed with leukemia. Rachel says thanks-butno-thanks, but is won over by Greg’s candor — “I’m only doing this because my mom’s making me” — and they embark upon a “doomed” friendship which is, in fact, a delicate and intimate one.

Meantime, Greg and his “co-worker” Earl (R.J. Cyler) (Greg doesn’t call anyone a friend for fear

Magic Mike XXL>>

Channing Tatum returns for this male-stripper sequel in which the Kings of Tampa travel to Myrtle Beach for a blow-out performance. Plenty of abs to go around. It’s open at theaters everywhere.

that he might lose one) are obsessed with foreign and avant-garde cinema, and they continue a lifelong project of recreating classic films as shorts with altered titles: My Dinner with Andre the Giant, Senior Citizen Kane, Rosemary Baby Carrots. These are weirdly mesmerizing, lo-fi hybrids of Michel Gondry and Wes Anderson.

The film’s predictable trajectory (that Greg and Earl will make a film for Rachel) turns out not to be predictable at all, becoming the prism through which Greg’s own insecurities are dramatized.

Scriptwriter Jesse Andrews, who wrote the novel of the same name, and director Alfonso GomezRejon, who hasn’t done much outside of TV (Glee, American Horror Story) both find new and occasionally stunning ways to communicate the innocence and power of high school friendship and high school love, and that — and this is what amounts to the film’s thesis — we continue to learn about those we love even after they’re gone.

Pittsburgh is on full display as a Rust Belt wonderland and serves as a resonant backdrop for three kids who both cling to and flee from (but always seem to acknowledge) stereotypes. Like all high school stories, M&E&ATDG has your standard narrative checkpoints and framing devices — college essays, proms, etc. — and keyed-in performances from adult co-stars including Molly Shannon as Rachel’s mom and The Walking Dead’s Jon Bernthal as the tatted history teacher. But count on a smarter, more pop-culturally advanced script (Pussy Riot reference in Minute 1? Wowza) and a sweeter, if less sugary, romance. — Sam Allard

Terminator: Genisys:>> Welp. Game of Thrones Emilia Clarke teams up with regular Game of Thrones director Alan Taylor and a withered Ahhhnold for the latest bastardization of the Terminator franchise.

SPOTLIGHT: MIDNIGHT MOVIES WE’RE PLEASED AS PUNCH TO REPORT that Cleveland Cinemas has announced its midnight movie line-up for the remainder of 2015.

It’s worth noting, also, that The Room, Tommy Wiseau’s cult-classic masterpiece of bad moviemaking, will screen for the final time at the Cedar Lee on July 11 at midnight.

Attendance has been dropping steadily for the past couple of years, and the Cleveland Cinemas execs finally decided to turn off life support. It’s been screening monthly for fiveand-a-half years, making it the second-longestrunning film in the theater’s history (second only to The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which has been screening for 27 years).

On July 3, 4, and 5, see Steven Spielberg’s Jaws, the film that almost singlehandedly created the Hollywood summer blockbuster.

It’ll be screening at the Cedar Lee to commemorate its 40th anniversary. On July 18, at the Capitol, catch another 40th-anniversary flick when the Late Shift series features Tommy, the Who’s musical fantasy based on their 1969 rock opera album of the same name.

The August Late Shift films are slightly more family oriented, with Who Framed Roger Rabbit screening at the Cedar Lee on August 1 and Galaxy Quest screening at the Capitol on August 15.

Though all the Late Shift screenings feature promotions, the September varietals are notably fun. When Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles screens for its 25th anniversary on Sept. 5 at the Cedar Lee, you’ll get free popcorn if you dress in purple. On Sept. 19, for the American Psycho screening at the Capitol, you’ll be entered into a raffle for a Huey Lewis album if you bring a business card.

After The Monster Squad at the Cedar Lee on Oct. 3, you’ll want to make sure you have “12 Hours of Terror” on your calendar for Oct. 17. The all-night movie marathon will feature Night of the Living Dead (1968), Creepshow (1982), Pumpkinhead (1988), The Descent (2005), Madman (1982), An American Werewolf in London (1981) and a surprise screening.

On Nov. 7, Being John Malkovich screens at Cedar Lee. Two weekends later, at the Capitol, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, starring the inimitable John Candy, will screen. To round out the year, The Big Lebowski will screen at the Cedar Lee on Dec. 5, and Scrooged will screen at the Capitol on Dec. 19. — Sam Allard

The Overnight>> Adam Scott and Orange is the New Black’s Taylor Schilling co-star in this Seattle comedy about a couple from L.A. who host a family play date that gets nice and awkward as the night progresses. It opens Friday at the Capitol and the Cedar Lee.

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 35

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 37

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EAT

Dynomite’s Chinato burger

Slyman’s Fries and a corned beef sandwich

SANDWICH EXPANSION

Slyman’s and Dynomite evolve and grow into exciting new locations

By Douglas Trattner IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO IMPROVE upon a Slyman’s corned beef sandwich, long the king of the category in a town full to the rafters with worthy subjects. Same goes for Dynomite burgers, the twofisted beef bombs conceived and dispensed by mega-operator Zack Bruell. But two new restaurants prove that even the best concepts can be improved upon if we use a little imagination.

It’s been two years since Bruell transformed an overlooked kiosk in the heart of Playhouse Square into Dynomite Burgers, the chef’s take on the wildly popular Shake Shack concept out of New York.

Like that model, Cleveland’s version succeeded thanks to a straightforward game plan that sticks to gourmet burgers, dogs, fries and shakes. The beer and wine kicker is a nice bonus.

But Dynomite downtown, owing to its alfresco address, is closed for a good chunk of the year. And when it is open, the seating is limited to whatever you can find in the plaza.

Oh, and if it’s raining, you’re pretty well screwed.

That’s why we’re already big fans of Dynomite Uptown, which opened this spring in University Circle. Set in the home of the short-lived Beer Cellars, the bustling restaurant offers plenty of seating — both indoors and out. It also is full-serve, meaning staffers do all the standing around

while diners focus on kicking back with friends and an adult beverage.

If those were the only enhancements we’d be tickled, but they only scratch the surface. The most dramatic improvement comes by way of the menu, a roster that nearly doubled in size thanks to a

$10) in soft buns named after each and every one of Bruell’s countless restaurants.

As for Slyman’s, the only way we can think of to improve a Slyman’s corned beef sandwich is to pair it with a nice Irish ale. That’s now possible thanks to the brand new

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larger kitchen than at the original.

Parallax fans will appreciate the new sushi section, an unfussy selection of popular twist-ups like the salmon-avocado roll ($8.50) and the Dragon Roll ($12), made with tempura shrimp and crab salad, as well as a trim assortment of nigiri.

Also greatly upgraded is the drinks section, which jumps from a handful of beer and wine choices downtown to a full-bar menu uptown. Beer drinkers have their pick from roughly 25 well-chosen options, including eight draft crafts. Wine by the glass pours soar to 14, with a nice selection of sushi-friendly bubbles, rose and whites, and burger-appropriate reds.

Cocktails and even sake are now part of the mix.

When it comes to the American side of the menu, the new eatery stays true to its roots, with the same gathering of juicy burgers ($8-

Slyman’s Tavern in Independence.

That it took 50 years for that to happen is a lamentable stretch of Cleveland history.

If you married the original Slyman’s with a sports bar, this is pretty much what would come out the other end. A large bar, a sea of flat-screen TVs and seating for 150 guests immediately sets this spot apart from the small, frenetic deli near downtown. But the sandwiches, those melt-in-your-mouth mountains of tender shaved beef on butter-soft rye, are a dead ringer for the ones we grew up struggling to finish.

Here the pace is slower, with diners encouraged to kick back, have a drink, an appetizer, maybe stick around to see how the Tribe game comes out. A fold-away wall and ceiling of glass open up on nice days, transforming an indoor space into an outdoor one. It’s a great spot to enjoy a pub snack like the

Slyman’s Fries ($8.99), a Clevelandstyle poutine with crispy crinklecut fries gilded with chip-chopped corned beef, melted Swiss cheese sauce and green onions. It’s as good as it sounds. Another starter piles that beef and Swiss atop crispy potato latkes ($8.99).

If you can pry your mitts off the dreamy corned beef sandwiches, which are available in full- and light-meat versions ($13.99/$9.99), consider the pastrami. The smoky, peppery, fat-ringed folds of beef ($13.99/$9.99) have loads more flavor than their deli counter counterpart. Even better, order the pastrami Reuben ($15.49/$11.49) and that beef will come on buttergriddled bread with melted Swiss and kraut. On the lighter side is the popular Tavern Club ($12.99), a layered stack of smoked turkey, bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato and mayo.

There’s a decent selection of beers by the bottle, but the 16 tap handles are largely wasted on mega brews save for a lone Great Lakes.

There’s a handful of passable wines by the glass and bottle too, if that’s what you’re into. My suggestion is to nab a pint of the Smithwick’s ($4), grab a fistful of sandwich, and praise the progress that made that pairing possible.

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 39

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EAT

bites

MUMBAI COMES TO CLEVELAND

By Douglas Trattner IN DESI FOOD PARLANCE, THE term chaat refers to a wide variety of delicious roadside snacks that are served throughout the Indian subcontinent. Apart from a few dishes here and there served at local Indian restaurants, the exciting genre has been woefully underrepresented in Cleveland.

Until now.

Bombay Chaat (2044 Euclid Ave., 216-225-4191, bombaychaat. net), a brand new restaurant near Cleveland State University, is devoted to the food category. The Indian-owned operation asserts on its website that, “If the student, teacher or a regular Cleveland Joe can’t go to Mumbai, Mumbai will come to them.”

The menu ticks off a staggering variety of dishes hailing from New Delhi to Mumbai, with roughly 75 items in all, much of it finger food.

Options range from classic chaat dishes like samosas topped with chickpea gravy to Indo-Chinese favorites like Chicken 65, a spicy dish of fried chicken pieces in a crimson, chile-laden sauce.

For a perfect primer on chaat, order the pani puri ($4.99), which arrive crispy, tangy, sweet and spicy. Puffy fried dough balls (puri) are filled with “flavored water” (pani), a chutney like gravy with yogurt, chickpeas and cilantro.

Unless you want that flavored water all over your lap, it’s best to pop the whole thing in your mouth in a single go.

Bombay Chaat also sells idly ($5.99), the spongy steamed rice patties that are dipped into sambar, and uttapam ($7.99), a massive crispy pancake/crepe studded with herbs and onions that also gets dragged through chutney.

A whole category of dosas — those wafer-thin, griddle-fried crepes — offer versions filled with potato curry ($7.99) or topped with egg ($6.99). All come with chutneys and sauces.

For now, the main menu is only offered after 3 p.m. During the day, a large and well-stocked lunch

buffet ($9.99) is the only option.

But staffers say that that policy will change as soon as the kitchen gets a little time under its belt. Let’s hope that happens sooner rather than later.

The interior is simple and inviting.

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 41

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It’s finally ‘game on’ in Ohio City

THE WAIT IS OVER, GAMERS: TABLETOP CAFE NOW OPEN

By Douglas Trattner

GREAT NEWS FOR EVERYBODY who enjoys having a few drinks while playing games with friends: Tabletop Board Game Cafe in Ohio City (1810 West 25th St.) finally opened its door last week following a series of frustrating delays.

The popularity of cafes offering hundreds if not thousands of board games is on the rise nationwide. In Northeast Ohio, Tabletop joins the Side Quest in Lakewood and Malted Meeple in Hudson, each combining games, socializing and a selection of food and drink.

Many in the field credit — or blame, as the case may be — our increased reliance on technology as the force behind the rise in popularity of board games and board game cafes.

“Most of us have an iPhone and iPad around us at all times,” explains Jim Reed, owner of the Malted Meeple, which stocks hundreds of games as well as beer, wine, cocktails and snacks. “They have become a part of our everyday life. That’s what makes it all the more important to have some time to disconnect and spend quality time together. A lot of the board games that we have — and the ones that are my personal favorites — are not about the pieces or cards; they’re about you interacting with the person across the table from you.”

Tabletop’s games inventory approaches a staggering 1,000 titles, according to owner Shiva Risner.

Types range from rowdy party games like Cards Against Humanity to strategy-based civilizationbuilding games like 7 Wonders.

Some games are cooperative, others

The bright interior has a bit of an afternoon lounge vibe.

are competitive. Some require a mastery of pop-culture trivia; others, like Iron & Ale, reward brute physical strength and an unquenchable thirst for beer.

But all of them, she notes, are an opportunity for people to interact on a personal level.

“Being online all the time is convenient, but it’s also exhausting,” Risner says. “People are wanting to take a breather and socially interact with friends face to face. Board games are a great way to do that. For some, it’s a novel concept to not be connected.”

In addition to the board games, Tabletop will feature weekly trivia nights and monthly DIY design sessions in its on-site maker space.

The 75-seat cafe will sell beer and wine and a few simple, healthy sandwiches.

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner

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| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

Photo by Ash Newell

MUSIC

A COLORFUL RETURN

The guys in Whitesnake still have enough hair to be a hair band.

Whitesnake guitarist enjoys revisiting band’s deep (Purple) catalog

By Matt Wardlaw NEWLY RECRUITED WHITESNAKE guitarist Joel Hoekstra has been turning a lot of heads in recent years with his guitar playing, but he’s a long way removed from being the new kid on the block. Early in his career, Hoekstra worked steadily on the rock theater scene, logging over 1,400 shows with both the off-Broadway and the touring production of Love, Janis, a musical dedicated to the life and career of Janis Joplin. He was playing eight days a week and also gigging with Big Brother & the Holding Company (guitarist Sam Andrew was the musical director for Love, Janis) and the Turtles. The guitarist says that working with the veteran musicians was a really valuable experience.

“It was a good learning tool, because it really teaches you that the gigs don’t always have to be about you, and it teaches you to be a pro and just be a well-rounded musician,” he says. “There’s a lot of shredders in bedrooms out there that don’t quite understand how to get through a gig without having it be those moments on guitar. So that

stuff was really valuable for me, and with the Turtles thing, I had to learn all of the different harmony parts, so that really helped with me being a background singer. There were lots of musical benefits that came from that stuff.”

Hoekstra grew up in the Chicago area and in addition to his theater work and early bands, spent time playing with former Survivor

Keifer from Cinderella, [Peterik’s] just had so many great guests over the years — every time these guys would come in, you’d get to meet them and play their hits with them.

It was a great opportunity.”

Night Ranger drummer Kelly Keagy was one of the people that Hoekstra met while playing the World Stage shows.

“That gave me the opportunity

WHITESNAKE, THE ANSWER 7:30 P.M., SUNDAY, JULY 5, HARD ROCK LIVE, 10777 NORTHFIELD RD, NORTHFIELD, 330-908-7625.

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member and songwriter Jim Peterik as part of the band that played Peterik’s star-studded World Stage shows, gigs that would open more doors. “Those shows gave me the opportunity to play with a lot of people, man,” he says. “I mean, getting to play the hits with Don Barnes from .38 Special and Rik Emmett from Triumph and Alan Parsons, Kevin Cronin from REO Speedwagon, Kip [Winger] and Tom

to play in Night Ranger,” he says.

“That was really something that changed my career. I remember learning the ‘(You Can Still) Rock in America’ eight-finger solo when I was 14 years old and practicing it in my bedroom with my eyes closed. Then there’s that weird middle period of the ’90s where you go, ‘Man, I can’t believe I used to do that for hours everyday,’ and then suddenly everything came

full circle and I couldn’t have been more glad that I practiced all of that stuff when I was younger. I have a lot of respect for [former Night Ranger guitarist] Jeff [Watson] and Brad [Gillis] and I had a lot of respect for filling Jeff’s shoes, just in terms of, I understand how important those classic solos were and I did my best to try to give the fans a classic Night Ranger show every time out.”

He has a similar reverence for the material that he’s now playing with Whitesnake and his timing couldn’t have been better, because joining up with the group in 2014 as they were in the midst of constructing what would become The Purple Album, a tribute to frontman David Coverdale’s years with Deep Purple, meant that Hoekstra would get to dig deep into the catalogs of both Purple and Whitesnake for the inevitable tour.

“It was pretty killer to start getting the set list ideas and realize you can pull from two great catalogs,” Hoekstra says with a laugh. “It’s like, ‘Wow, this is going to be a lot of fun!’ What guitar

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 47

MUSIC player wouldn’t want to play this Whitesnake catalog? It’s just got such great guitar work on it. It’s really a guitarist’s dream to play this stuff. Whitesnake is a fantastic guitar gig.”

Similarly, Hoekstra enjoyed getting to deconstruct the material on the new album, including heavy rock classics like “Burn” and “Stormbringer” and also the opportunity to venture into new musical territory with some of the songs while still paying proper homage to the catalog.

“There’s a lot of shredders in bedrooms out there that don’t quite understand how to get through a gig without having it be those moments on guitar.”

–Joel Hoekstra

“David kind of handed me the ball quite a bit on the acoustic stuff on ‘Soldier of Fortune’ and ‘Sail Away’ to come up with cool acoustic arrangements,” he recalls.

“The thing that was cool for me in terms of being able to be creative on the album and I guess really just flex our creative muscles, period, was the fact that [fellow Whitesnake guitarist] Reb [Beach] was basically going to be covering the riffs on most of these songs, so it gave me an opportunity to think about, ‘Well, what would be another part that you would play if it were a two-guitar band back then?’

“We were obviously going to lean less heavily on the keyboards than the Deep Purple version,” Hoekstra continues. “So I kind of had a fun job — it was like, ‘Well, what would be a second rhythm part that would fit in on most of this stuff?’ And of course, we got to do our own things with the solos — that goes without saying — so it was really a lot of fun. In a lot of ways, it felt just like doing an original album,” he chuckles.

“Really, it was all about making sure that everything you added was tastefully done and I had a great time.”

The Purple Album tour finds

48

| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

Coverdale and the band serving up a hefty number of Deep Purple songs from the album in addition to classic tracks from the ’Snake catalog.

The shows have been playing to rave reviews and Coverdale was even joined by his former Purple bandmate Glenn Hughes at an early tour stop in Beverly Hills for a stomping run through “Lay Down, Stay Down.”

“We were going through that stuff with guitars unplugged with David and Glenn singing together for the first time in a really long time, just jammed into this tiny room together,” he says. “We were all kind of standing right on top of each other. That was kind of cooler than the actual moment of him coming out on the big stage for everybody. Glenn was so nice to do that and it was an honor to have him up there with us, really.”

Hoekstra has nothing but the highest praise for the experience he’s had working with Coverdale.

“He’s really great to work for.

In terms of the album, he was just totally open-minded and let everybody do their thing with this great material,” he says. “He didn’t hold on too tight. He really just let us do our thing and was very supportive. He’s a great musician, and he’s got a great sense of humor, man. He’s just a super-fun hang.”

Fans can have their own “Purple” experience when Whitesnake plays Hard Rock Live as part of its ongoing U.S. tour. The U.S. dates will be followed by shows in Japan, Europe and Ireland.

Hoekstra has heard murmurs of potential further live dates in 2016 and says Coverdale has “batted around a couple of ideas in terms of recording projects.”

So it seems likely that Hoekstra will be busy for quite a while — which is nothing new, considering that the guitarist is usually juggling a few gigs, having played with both Trans-Siberian Orchestra and the long-running Broadway show Rock of Ages in recent years in addition to his gig with Night Ranger prior to joining Whitesnake). But for now?

“I’m just happy to be here,” he says. “That’s a cliche line, but it’s true. I’m just happy to be here and playing this music and I love the Purple stuff and of course the Whitesnake stuff, so I’m just really digging it. It’s like a great chemistry out here right now.”

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MUSIC

FROM OUTER TO INNER SPACE Alt-rockers Failure return with an adventurous new album

By Jeff Niesel Failure is now more popular than it was back in its heyday.

PLENTY OF BANDS SET OUT to do something different. Few actually achieve what they set out to do. Failure, an L.A.-based alternative rock band that formed in the early ’90s, is one of the few. With its intricate sonic textures, the band’s 1996 effort Fantastic Planet was heralded as something decidedly fresh upon its release. Acts such as Tool embraced the band’s space rock sound. After an incredibly long hiatus, the band has just followed up Fantastic Planet with the equally adventurous The Heart is a Monster.

Failure’s co-founder Ken Andrews was studying film at Cal State L.A. when he started writing songs.

“My hobby on the side was Failure,” he says. “I had written five or six songs I had demoed by myself in my apartment bedroom. One of my roommates, Robert Gauss, was a drummer. He ended up being the original drummer on [1992’s] Comfort.

He heard the music I was doing. He thought it was really cool. He wanted to do a band. It took us about a yearand-a-half to find a third member to join the band. That was eventually [guitarist] Greg [Edwards]. We weren’t interested in doing it just to do it. For me, personally, having our live following grow and labels come around was a shocker to me. I wasn’t expecting that.”

In 2014, the band reunited to play their first show since 1997. That show

50

went so well that the group stuck together and eventually wound up in the studio last year to record The Heart is a Monster. Andrews says that the reunion was partly prompted by the fact that he and Edwards both became fathers at about the same time.

“We started seeing each other more and bonded over the fear of being

were so into it. It was really different for us. In the ’90s, we were struggling to build a fan base. We had some fans but there was some confusion about what we were. We didn’t have many crowds singing to the music because no one really knew it. Now, people are super familiar with it. They know the albums inside and out and it’s a whole different world.”

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new dads,” he says. “It was like, ‘Why don’t we mess around in the studio?’

We were both still doing music, so it seemed natural. A few months went by and we kept chipping away at a few song ideas and all of a sudden we had good demos of four songs. We liked them and wanted to keep going but we were curious about what the live situation would be like, so we booked a show.”

The show was a huge success, and Andrews noticed the band had accumulated a new fanbase that would’ve been too young to see the group the first time around.

“We realized we had a whole new fanbase that was not from the ’90s,” he says. “People in their mid-20s made up the majority of the crowd. They knew the material so well and they

| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

He says the band’s reputation has spread via word of mouth.

“In talking to these 20-year-olds, they have friends who got the record and then got hold of the other records.

They just started getting into our band and just saw we were playing.

They didn’t know we were a ’90s band that broke up. The fact that the whole landscape has become more fractured helps us. Kids don’t feel the need to be limited by liking a certain genre. They just want to like the music, and it’s less about going with the status quo.”

Edwards has said the new album moves from outer space to inner space. That’s a rather abstract statement and something Andrews says speaks to the more personal lyrics.

“I think what he’s trying to say

is that if Fantastic Planet was a metaphor for isolation and drug abuse, which was also part of that, then this album is more introspective and about questioning identity,” he says. “That’s all I got for you.”

Songs such as “Hot Traveler” and “Atom City Queen” feature heavy guitar and bass riffs. They come off a little more in-your-face than trippy tunes such as the dreamy “Snow Angel.”

“To me, there’s certain things we did differently on this record,” says Andrews. “We tried to pare some songs down to the real trio sound.

There’s only one guitar at one time.

On Fantastic Planet, there were rhythm guitars and lead lines going at the same time. I wanted to see if we could be heavy in the confines of a trio.”

The band’s return has been received really well by press and fans, and Andrews says performing with the group “feels really good now.

“Talk to me six months from now and I don’t know how I’ll feel then,” he says. “Right now, it feels good. We constrained the tour a little. I don’t want to be out for more than four weeks at a time without a significant break. I have two little kids, and I can’t handle being away from them for that long.”

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 51

Photo by Ted Barron

MUSIC

AT A CROSSROADS Alt-country icon Steve Earle revisits his blues roots on Terraplane

By Jeff Niesel Steve Earle & the Dukes will put their blues tunes to the test this summer.

ALT-COUNTRY SINGER-GUITARIST Steve Earle isn’t an ethnomusicologist, but he could certainly pass as one. In describing “The Tennessee Kid,” a bluesy, stream-ofconsciousness track that finds him sounding like a man possessed as he sings in a raspy voice about Lucifer and the crossroads, Earle reveals his deep understanding of American roots. One of many blues-inspired numbers on Earle’s new album, Terraplane, the song has a real intensity to it.

“It’s a spoken-word piece in iambic pentameter,” says Earle via phone from a Boise tour stop. “I wanted something that was in that interpretation of John Lee Hooker with a psychedelic edge. Musically, I knew I was going to do a boogie of some sort. I’ve done it before. I had a boogie on The Hard Way. There’s a song called ‘West Nashville Boogie.’

A lot of people see ‘The Tennessee Kid’ as [ZZ Top’s] ‘La Grange’ and I don’t. I see it as [John Lee Hooker’s] ‘Boom Boom.’”

Earle then goes on to explain the legendary story of how blues great Robert Johnson went to the crossroads and sold his soul to the devil, so he could achieve success.

For him, the tale connects to Terraplane’s theme.

“The whole point of this record is that it was [blues singer-guitarist] Son House who said that Robert Johnson went to the crossroads and sold his soul to the devil,” says

52

Earle, who’s backed by his longtime band the Dukes on the disc. “That’s the first person who ever said that, and he was jealous. The truth is that Robert Johnson wasn’t important because he played guitar better than everyone else. Several guitar players were as good as he was. Skip James was arguably as good. Son House was at least in the ballpark. What made Robert Johnson special was the songs. There are no songs he borrowed from.”

Earle does a bit of borrowing of his

Movement hadn’t happened and pop music hadn’t become a form of art and people become interested in it as a sociological statement. All of a sudden, the blues becomes important to it. It’s also a component of rock ’n’ roll. Maybe the most important component of rock ’n’ roll. The first concert I ever saw was the Beatles when I was 10. The second concert was Canned Heat.”

He doesn’t necessarily see the album as a tribute or even an homage.

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own on Terraplane. The rollicking “Go Go Boots are Back” channels ZZ Top, and there’s a bit of everything on the record, including Texas roadhouse blues (“Baby Baby Baby (Baby)”), acoustic country blues (“Ain’t Nobody’s Daddy Now”) and Chicago blues (“The Usual Time”) on the disc.

“I got to the blues by way of ZZ Top and Canned Heat because I was in Texas and I was the age that I was,” says Earle, 60. “Everybody else did too. It was younger white musicians rediscovering this stuff that caused us to rediscover Muddy Waters and B.B. King. They had careers that they probably never would have had if the Civil Rights

| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

“The blues has always been a component of what I do and I just wanted to concentrate on it, just like I made a bluegrass record,” he says.

“Bluegrass has always influenced what I do. I’m a big bluegrass fan.

It’s the same with the blues. I write a lot of different kinds of songs. It’s like working with a 32-color box of crayons for a long time and then limiting yourself to eight. Sometimes limiting yourself to certain parameters can make you work harder and dig deeper.”

The album was recorded in Nashville by Ray Kennedy and produced by R.S. Field. To hear Earle tell it, the sessions were pretty stripped down.

“The studio was a shotgun shack that has been picked up and moved from Memphis to Nashville,” he says. “It’s the Studio D there. I like the room. Ray Kennedy had worked there, and he and R.S. Field both suggested it. I still have a house [in Nashville], so I can stay there for free. It’s hard for me to make a record cheaper than I can make it in Nashville. If I fly my whole band to New York, I’ve automatically got a way more expensive record.”

There are no vocal overdubs on the record. The only overdubs are guest Chris Masterson’s guitar solos.

Earle counts many of blues’ contemporary players as friends so when they come to see the current show, which emphasizes material from the new album, he knows it’ll be a good test to see if he got it right.

“The moment of truth comes in three days because I just got an email from [blues harmonica player] Charlie Musslewhite saying he was looking forward to seeing the show,” he says.

“I know [the Fabulous Thunderbirds’] Jimmie Vaughan. I know [ZZ Top’s] Billy Gibbons. If anybody doesn’t think Billy Gibbons is a bluesman, they’re not paying attention. I know all the modern practitioners. The moment of truth is coming. I’m going to run into all of them at one point or another this summer.”

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 53

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LIVEWIRE WED

07/01

John Fogerty: Singer-songwriter John Fogerty made his mark as the lead singer for Credence Clearwater Revival. In 1973, he started a solo career. On his latest album, 2013’s I wrote a song for everybody, artists such as Foo Fighters, Keith Urban, Miranda Lambert, Zac Brown Band, Kid Rock, Bob Seger, Brad Paisley, Alan Jackson and Jennifer Hudson make guest appearances. But for tonight’s show, he’ll revisist his CCR days. (Alexandra Hintz), 8 p.m., $35-$87.50. Jacobs Pavilion.

Trevor Hall/Mike Love: Two years ago, amid a soaring and stillburgeoning music career in the States, Trevor Hall packed up and took off for India. He traveled the country for a long time under the tutelage of a classical Baul musician (a Bengali minstrel, to the uninitiated). If they hadn’t been cemented already in his music, the cultural strains of Eastern thought sunk deep into Hall’s work. Baul culture, in particular, noted among UNESCO’s Masterpieces of the Oral and Intangible Heritage of Humanity, espouses a life lived in the present moment. Their music is not written down, and their songs refract the nuanced meanings of life through proclamations about the heart, the soul, the Earth.

Hall learned a lot while on his pilgrimage and returned to remote posts in Vermont and Maine, where he inadvertently spilled the contents of his travels into Chapter of the Forest, a breakthrough album released in June 2014. The sounds on the album are very much in the vein of “world music” — tablas bouncing rhythms against sitars and Hall’s deep, airy vocals. There’s reggae in there, sure, and a dose of hip-hop, but it’s a sound wholly crafted by Hall and his personal journey. Sonically, his music would fit in as nicely on a summer porch in Cleveland as on the midday train from Kolkata to Dhaka. (Eric Sandy), 8 p.m., $20 ADV, $22 DOS. Music Box Supper Club.

10 X 3 Hosted by Brent Kirby (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

Girls Guns and Glory/Charles Hill Jr.: 8:30 p.m., $13 ADV, $15 DOS. Beachland Tavern.

The Grass is Dead/Haight Street Revue (in the Supper Club): 9 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Music

54

all the live music you should see this week

Los Straitjackets return to play a special Fourth of July show at the Beachland. See: Saturday.

Box Supper Club.

Lonesome Ranger: 10 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern.

David Thomas: 7 p.m., Free. BLU Jazz+.

THUR

07/02

Brand New/Manchester Orchestra/ Cloakroom: Brand New is a perfect vision of the 2000s alternative, pop-punk scene. There’s lots of screaming in tunes such as “The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows,” and “Sic Transit Gloria...

Glory Fades,” a Panic at the Disco like song that slows down and speeds up into a heap of teenage angst, loud guitars and simple yet pounding drums. (Hannah Wintucky), 7:30 p.m., $27.50-$45.

Jacobs Pavilion.

Travis “Moonchild” Haddix: A staple in the Cleveland blues scene -- and in the American music circuit writ large -- Travis “Moonchild” Haddix has always brought the heat to the stage. He also surround himself with great musicians -- like a tight, tight brass section. What he has always done so well has been his steady merger of classic blues structures with smooth R&Bstyle singing. He makes the blues accessible to anyone willing to listen and, inevitably, dance. And having been playing guitar since he was 7, the dude can tear it up quite nicely. He once told a music writer, “I am the best that I can be, and since no one else can be me, there’s none better.” Right on.

(Sandy), 8 p.m., $15. Nighttown.

Paul Thorn: As the story goes, singer-songwriter Paul Thorn had his first brush with fame when he sang the Lionel Ritchie tune “Three Times a Lady” at a talent show when he was in grade

| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

school. He suddenly went from being a social outcast to the most popular kid on the playground.

Thorn, who just turned 50, tried his hand at a few different things before becoming a full-time singer-songwriter. He was even a pro boxer at one point and fought world champ Roberto Duran. But his 1997 debut Hammer and Nail established him as a singular talent, thanks in part to his woozy, bluesy voice. While most of his songs center on stories, his latest album, last year’s Too Blessed To Be Stressed, is less autobiographical and more about trying to get at what he considers to be universal truths. In a song such as In “Mediocrity’s King,” he talks politics and observes the ways in which our standards have been lowered. His standards, you can be assured, are higher than ever. The guy’s a consummate showman and a real character.

(Jeff Niesel), 8 p.m., $25 ADV, $28 DOS. Music Box Supper Club.

Werk Out Competition with the Mucklebuck/Essential Groove/ Gnosis/The Bit Shifterz/Hazard Adams: The Werk Out, an annual festival hosted by Ohio’s own The Werks, has a penchant for sparking followings among the state’s up-and-coming jam bands.

We all start somewhere, yeah?

And The Werks were fortunate to hit a great stride in Southwest Ohio in their early days. Via tonight’s “competition” show, The MuckleBuck, Essential Groove, Gnosis, The Bit Shifterz and Hazard Adams will work their magic for a shot at the festival.

The crowd will choose who gets the nod. While that narrative makes for an atypical concert, this is actually just a really good chance to see a great regional bill.

We’re treated to The MuckleBuck, Essential Groove and The Bit Shifterz on the reg -- and do check them out as often as possible, as they are hometown friends -- and to have them grouped with Gnosis (Erie, Pa.) and Hazard Adams (Boston) is an enticing invitation. (Eric Sandy), 8 p.m., $10.

Beachland Ballroom.

The Ark Band: 7 p.m., $5. Grog Shop.

Bad Boys Jam: 9 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

Dave Banks Big Band: 8 p.m., $15.

BLU Jazz+.

Copywrite: 8 p.m., $10. Phantasy Nite Club.

The Defibulators (in the Supper Club): 9 p.m., $7. Music Box Supper Club.

Dick Diver/Cheap Clone/The Pleasure Leftists: 8 p.m., $8.

Happy Dog. Chris Hatton’s Musical Circus (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

Jordan Kirk/Maria Levitov & Counterfeit Madison/Chris Volpe: 8:30 p.m., $5. Beachland Tavern.

The Music of Leland Scott Davis and Ornette Coleman/Joe Tomino: 8 p.m. Bop Stop.

Roots Rock with Cats on Holiday: 5 p.m. Music Box Supper Club.

Sewers/Obnox/Cyanide Tooth: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class.

Smug Saints/Ray Flanagan & the Authorities: 9 p.m., $5. The Euclid Tavern.

Spyder Stompers/Marty Christian/ Sky Brooks: 6 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern.

FRI

07/03

Forgotten Souls of Antiquity/The D-Rays/Lost State of Franklin: When locals Forgotten Souls of Antiquity released their self-titled

36th Annual

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 55 14-4453

LIVEWIRE debut in 2011, we wrote that the band plays a mix of “SoCal punk and straight-up psychobilly.”

With its raspy vocals and sped-up tempors, the group evokes acts such as Social Distortion. Now, the guys have followed that debut up with the terrific new album, Desolation Ridge. Unfortunately, the group has had to carry on without bass player Patrick Christopher, who passed away right after recording wrapped.

They’ve devoted the album to him, and he’d undoubtedly be proud that the group has decided to soldier on. (Niesel), 9 p.m., $5.

The Euclid Tavern.

Oldboy/Texas Plant/Tom Evanchuck & the Old Money/ Ken Pengal: Reminiscent of REM and Neil Young, Oldboy is your traditional indie folk rock group. With dreamy lyrics and almost country instrumentals, Oldboy has more old school vibe to its music. All of the songs are written, produced and sung by lead guitar player and vocalist Shaw Brewster. “Run” (featuring Jenna Fournier) sounds like a hybrid of Macy Gray and Mumford and Sons, and “Gone” has a country-meets-folk vibe with its harmonica and wailing vocals. One of the best local bands on the circuit. (Wintucky), 9 p.m., $6 ADV, $8 DOS. Grog Shop.

Sinatra Night with Michael Sonata (in the Supper Club): 8 p.m., $7.

Music Box Supper Club.

Beach Stav/Uno Lady/ITEM/ Jivviden: 8:30 p.m., $5. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

The Blue Drivers/Matt Harmon/ George Foley & Friends: 5:30 p.m.

Barking Spider Tavern.

Bumpin’/Lawrence Daniel Caswell: 6 p.m., Free. Happy Dog. Navasha Daya: 8 p.m., $15 ADV, $20 DOS. Beachland Ballroom.

Double Feature Friday with Mo Mojo/Moustache Yourself: 7 p.m., $12. BLU Jazz+.

George Foley: 10:30 p.m., free.

Nighttown.

Tracy Marie (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m.

Brothers Lounge.

Nitebridge: 9:30 p.m., $5. Brothers Lounge.

Ours Joins School of Rock for a Celebration of Music: 8 p.m., $15 ADV, $17 DOS. Beachland Tavern.

Trash Bash 2015 with At No End/ King/Space Monkey/Hemi Devils/ Something Involving a Monkey/

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Toro Blanco/Biph Tannen/ Downspeed: 7 p.m., $6. Agora.

World Beats with DJ Neil Chastain: 5 p.m., Free. Music Box Supper Club.

SAT

07/04

FM Project: When Steely Dan performed at Jacobs Pavilion at Nautica in the summer of 2013, the band put on an epic show. While the concert got off to a rather serious and somber start — “Hey Nineteen” came off as a rather pensive ballad — the duo and band quickly loosened up and by “Bodhisattva,” they were rocking hard. They saved the best for last, delivering hits such as “Peg,” “My Old School” and “Reelin’ in Years” in sequence. Expect to hear those songs and more tonight as FM Project, a locally based Steely Dan tribute act, takes the stage. Steely Dan plays Blossom this summer, so this will serve as a good show for anyone looking for a primer.

(Niesel), 8:30 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Music Box Supper Club.

Los Straitjackets/The Light Lines: Since forming in 1994, Los Straitjackets, an instrumental guitar quartet, has toured the world decked out in some of the coolest Mexican wrestling masks you’ll ever see. Taking musical inspiration from Duane Eddy and Link Wray as well as spy/surf/ monster music, the guys are a singular entity. And they regularly include Cleveland so you can expect tonight’s special Fourth of July concert to be a real blast (pun intended). (Niesel), 9 p.m., $18 ADV, $20 DOS. Beachland Ballroom.

Chardon Polka Band (in the Supper Club): 8:30 p.m., $7. Music Box Supper Club.

Bill Lestock/Mark Freeman: 8 p.m.

Barking Spider Tavern.

Sponge: 7 p.m., $15 ADV, $20 DOS. Roc Bar. Jackie Warren: 10:30 p.m., free.

Nighttown.

Yacht Rock with Chris Hatton: 3 p.m., Free. Music Box Supper Club.

Yoh Show Presents God Bless America with SPAZZ/B LO/Chic the Freak/Crazy 8/Tamis/Baggs/ Kaosa/Kings Census/Danny Gold/ Anubis & Osiris/Jay Soriee/Dezog: 9 p.m., $10. Grog Shop.

SUN

07/05

Steve Earle & the Dukes/The Mastersons: 8 p.m., $38 ADV/$42 DOS. Music Box Supper Club.

Failure/Queen Kwong: 8:30 p.m., $22.50 ADV, $25 DOS. Grog Shop.

Irish Sundays Featuring the

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 57

LIVEWIRE Portersharks: 3 p.m., Free. Music Box Supper Club.

Noise Lunch 3-Year Anniversary: 4 p.m. Now That’s Class.

Nostalgia Factor: 3 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern.

Mike Petrone (in the Wine Bar): 5:30 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

Triage: 6 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern.

Whitesnake/The Answer: 7:30 p.m., $42.50-$79.50. Hard Rock Rocksino.

MON

07/06

Gratiot Lake Road: The husbandwife duo of Gratiot Lake Road takes folk to a new level by putting an indie spin on it. Earthy guitar and bluesy banjo mixes with harmonizing vocals to create a simple yet satisfying mix.

“Chicago,” a song on their debut album Stamp Sand Shores, has evocative banjo with a mix of unique vocals that sounds like a traditional indie folk tune. Their unique mix of ankle percussion, closed-back banjo, and guitar is a relaxing alternative to today’s conventional indie folk.

(Wintucky), 5:30 p.m. Wilbert’s.

Maura Rogers and the Bellows/ Oliver Oak: Singer-guitarist Maura Rogers has spent the last couple of years coping with serious health issues (she had to undergo a kidney transplant), and addressed those hardships in the songs on 2012’s A Good Heart Will Break. Earlier this year, the band returned with In Light, its fanfunded second album that again shows off the band’s alt-country sound. The album commences with the triumphant dirge “Battle Cry” that finds Rogers singing “I was left here to die” in a hushed voice that sounds a bit like a more restrained PJ Harvey. (Niesel), 8:30 p.m., $5. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

Mojo Big Band: 8 p.m., $5. Brothers Lounge.

Ceremony/Pity Sex/Tony Molina/ Cruelster: 7 p.m., $12 ADV, $14 DOS. Now That’s Class.

Steve Earle & the Dukes/The Mastersons: 8 p.m., $38 ADV/$42 DOS. Music Box Supper Club.

An Evening with Burlap to Cashmere: 8 p.m., $15. Beachland Tavern.

George Foley & Friends/WonderWell: 8 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern.

Velvet Voyage (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

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| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

TUE

07/07

The Claudettes (in the Supper Club): It would be unbelievably inaccurate to confine Chicago band, The Claudettes, to a solitary genre. On their forthcoming album No Hotel, the Claudettes fuse jazz, blues, vaudeville, soul, and classical to provide audiences with a fresh and unique listening experience. Jazzy piano lines, smooth and catchy bass riffs, and a strong percussive backbone join forces to create the musical framework for this group.

Though their diverse yet structured style is fresh, their live shows are a throwback to early 20th century performances from a 1930s big band club to a 1920s speakeasy.

(Dana Hetrick), 8 p.m., $7. Music Box Supper Club.

Steve Gunn/Jennifer Castle: Formerly the guitarist in Kurt Vile’s Violators, Steve Gunn carries that reverb-washed, dreamy-melody tradition proudly. Last year’s Way Out Weather demonstrates a songwriter who’s fallen in with rich dedication to a groove, a sense of identity and place. This is American music -- much like Vile’s, much like fellow Violator Adam Granduciel and his War on Drugs -- filtered through the psych-folk approach that’s getting honed like a fine battle-ax on U.S. tour circuits these days. Take the album’s title track, a westbound train piano melody chugs along the gentle lope of drummer Nathan Bowles’ kit. Gunn’s guitar work is sort of loose and tight at the same time. “Wildwood” is another good example of this; Gunn knows where he’s going, he just doesn’t happen to be in a hurry to get there. (Sandy), 9 p.m., $10. The Euclid Tavern.

Mat Kearney/Judah & the Lion: Singer-songwriter Mat Kearney began his music career after taking a trip to Nashville. He started off covering songs but discovered his real talent was writing and performing his own. On his newest album, Just Kids, Kearney speaks more than he sings, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Songs such as “Heartbreak Dreamers” are inspirational numbers about how to “get through the night.”

(Hintz), 8 p.m., $22.50 ADV, $25 DOS. House of Blues.

Open Mic Night with Gary Hall: 8 p.m. Barking Spider Tavern.

2 Set Tuesday with Harry Bacharach: 7 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

scene@clevescene.com t@cleveland_scene

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 59

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 59

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| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

The Music Box is looking for a good name for this collage by X’s Exene Cervenka.

THE NAME GAME

By Jeff Niesel

IF YOU DIDN’T GET THE CHANCE to see the punk band X when the group played a three-night stand last year at Music Box Supper Club, you’ll have another chance. The band is set to return to the club on Wednesday, July 22. In addition, the band will attend the Alternative Press Magazine Music Awards that same night where it’ll receive the Icon Award.

To gear up for the band’s return to town, the Music Box will host a special free screening of the 1986 documentary X: The Unheard Music on July 8. The documentary features interviews with band members and live footage.

The screening, which will take place at 7 p.m. in the club’s private dining room, will kick off the “Name Exene’s Artwork Contest,” featuring more than $1,000 in prizes. After X performed at Music Box in Cleveland last fall, Exene Cervenka took one of her old collages and re-worked it with the intention of making it into a gift to the club. That collage will be displayed in the Music Box lobby on the night of the documentary screening. There will be forms that movie-goers can fi ll out to submit titles for the piece.

The “Name Exene’s Artwork Contest” will continue on Music Box’s social media and web sites until the July 17 deadline.

The winners will be chosen and announced by Cervenka, herself, onstage on the night of the July 22 concert. The Grand Prize will be a meet & greet with Cervenka on the night of the concert, a $200 Music Box gift card and a package of 10

tickets to host a group of friends to an upcoming concert. The runner up will win a package of eight tickets to host a group of friends to an upcoming concert. Third place will get a package of six tickets to an upcoming concert.

To reserve a seat at the July 8 screening and contest kickoff, email the box office at boxoffice@ musicboxcle.com. Spaces will be held until 30 minutes prior to the start of the fi lm.

A PRAISEWORTHY SONG Singer Kofi Boakye, the 15-yearold leader of the Akron-based R&B act One Sound, has set July 4 as the release date for his new single, “I Know the Plans,” a track which finds him quoting scripture to a woozy saxophone riff. A volunteer usher at the Akron Civic Center, Boakye has been performing locally for years. Boakye has played with the Gospel Music Workshop of America and as the organist for the National Children’s and National Men’s Choirs.

Locally, he serves as musical director for church choirs and praise teams; he often works on local gospel stage plays. He’s even toured Germany and Prague with the Miller South Show Choir. Last year, the White House awarded Kofi the President’s Education Award for Outstanding Academic Excellence. The single will be available on multiple media outlets, including iTunes. Go to kofimusic. wordpress.com for more information.

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 63

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magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 65

66

| clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

SAVAGE LOVE GYMNASTICS

By Dan Savage

Dear Dan, This is going to sound like bragging, but my appearance is intrinsic to my kink. I’m a gay male gymnast. Most of the guys on my college team are annoyed by the kind of objectification we routinely come in for. (We actually don’t want to be auctioned off at yet another sorority fundraiser, thanks.) But I’ve always been turned on by the thought of being a piece of meat. I’ve masturbated for years about dehumanization. Being in bondage, hooded, and gagged — not a person anymore, faceless, nude, on display, completely helpless. (Just typing that sentence made me hard.) It finally happened. I found a guy on Recon.com (which I discovered on your podcast, so thank you). He is into BDSM, which isn’t the goal for me, and he wanted to do some of “his stuff” to me while I was dehumanized and helpless. We had a long talk about what I was okay with (gentle tit clamps, some butt play, very light spanking) and what I wasn’t okay with. I didn’t want to be marked. He asked what I meant by that, and I said, “No bruises, no welts, no red marks.” He didn’t bruise me, but he did something that it didn’t occur to me to rule out: He shaved off all my body hair—pits, pubes, legs, ass, chest. I’m angry, but at the same time, I’m seriously turned on by the thought of seeing this guy again. I also have a boyfriend. I thought going in that this would be a onetime thing, that I would get this out of my system and never tell my boyfriend about it, but I don’t think I can do that now. (Maybe I should’ve figured out that something I’ve been jacking off about since age 13 isn’t something I could do just once.) What do I say to my boyfriend about being suddenly hairless and about my kink? And what do I say to the guy? I want to go back and continue to explore being an object, but I don’t feel like I can trust him.

— Desire Erased Humanity Until My Aching Nuts Explode You could tell your boyfriend the partial truth, DEHUMANE, or you could tell your boyfriend the whole truth.

The partial truth would go something like this: “Guess what, honey? I shaved off all my body hair all by myself just for fun. Do you like it? And, hey, we’ve been dating for a while, so I should probably lay all my kink cards on the table.” Then you tell him about these fantasies — to be dehumanized, to be an object, to be helpless — and you do it with a smile on your face and a bone in your

jock. Remember: You’re not sharing a tragic cancer diagnosis with him. You’re sharing something fun, interesting, and exciting about your sexuality. Don’t panic — and don’t hold it against him — if he reacts negatively at first. This is the start of a conversation, not the end of it, and it’s a conversation about his desires, too, DEHUMANE, not just yours.

If it turns out that dehumanization/ objectification isn’t something he can do, and it’s not something he could allow you to do with others, then you’re not right for each other. End the relationship and date kinksters you meet on Recon, and disclose your kinks earlier to any presumed-to-be-vanilla guys you date.

The full truth would go something like this: Hand him this column.

DEHUMANE’s boyfriend, if you’re reading this, please know that the mistake your boyfriend made — doing this behind your back in the hopes that one experience would satisfy his curiosity forever — is a common one. A lot of people, kinky and not, believe that kinky desires don’t work the same way vanilla desires do, i.e., unlike “normal” sexual desires (fucking, sucking, rimming), kinky desires (pissing, spanking, binding) only have to be acted on once. Do it once, get the kink out of your system, enjoy vanilla sex — and only vanilla sex — for the rest of your life. But kinks don’t work that way.

In the same way that “normal” people don’t wanna fuck just once in their lives, a person with your boyfriend’s kinks isn’t going to wanna be objectified and dehumanized just once in his life. Your boyfriend didn’t know that before he did it the first time, but he knows it now. If you can find it in your heart to forgive him, you could wind up with a very hot and very grateful guy.

Back to you, DEHUMANE: Put Recon Guy on hold until after you full or partial the boyfriend. If you do want to play with him again — because you’re single or because your boyfriend approves — have an out-of-roles conversation with him about what happened last time. He didn’t hurt you, he tricked you, and you’re understandably wary of playing with him again. If you do play with him again — a big if — this time anything you haven’t ruled in is automatically ruled out. No tricks. With any luck, your boyfriend, if he feels like he can trust you again, will be there to keep an eye on him and to enjoy the sight of your helpless, faceless body.

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330.437.0100 magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 69

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70

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015

magazine | clevescene.com | July 1 - 7, 2015 71

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