Scene September 23, 2020

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| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

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CONTENTS

SEPTEMBER 23-29, 2020 • VOL. 52 NO 9 Upfront ............................................ 5 Feature ...........................................10 Art .................................................. 12

Eat .................................................. 23 Music ............................................. 26 Savage Love ................................. 29

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| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

UPFRONT Photo by Erik Drost/FlickrCC

CITY OF CLEVELAND ANNOUNCES TOP-DOWN HEALTH DEPARTMENT SHAKE-UP

THE CITY OF CLEVELAND has announced sweeping organizational changes within its public health department after an internal investigation into a culture of hostility and discrimination.

The department will now be housed under the Office of Prevention, Intervention and Opportunities for Youth and Young Adults, overseen

by Chief Tracy Martin-Thompson.

The city’s commissioner of the division of environment, Brian Kimball, will step in as interim director.

CDPH’s former director, Merle Gordon, a former city councilwoman, has been reassigned as a special assistant to the Mayor and will assume the title, “Executive Manager of Population Health.”

“This critical role will assist in creating the structures and systems necessary for the City to fully integrate a public health approach and strategy into the

region’s recovery,” Gordon said in a prepared statement included alongside the city’s investigatory report…. “I continue to be committed to this community every day and look forward to working with you in this new capacity as we strive towards improving population health in Cleveland.”

Scene reported on an alleged culture of workplace hostility this summer, including multiple discrimination complaints filed by epidemiologist Karen Aluma and two other employees who allege the city retaliated against them when they spoke up about treatment in the department.

The Ohio Civil Rights Commission last month found “probable cause” that the city discriminated against Aluma.

The city’s internal investigation found “no credible evidence” of discrimination against Aluma but is reassigning Aluma to work with another supervisor.

The city also will also hold predisciplinary hearings for Aluma’s supervisor, Katherine Romig, and the Commissioner of Public Health, Heather Persis Sosiak.

The city investigation was led

by Martin-Thompson, who will now oversee the department, and Martin Flask, a former safety director and special assistant to the mayor.

The investigation did not “demonstrate intentional or unintentional mistreatment of employees based on a protected class” such as race, age or nationality but instead found that employees of “all races and ethnicities were treated unfairly due the lack of skill in supervising employees.”

Nevertheless, the city is instituting additional antidiscrimination and bias training for the entire department including an “Anti-Racist Toolbox” for supervisors.

“The City did find leadership

within CDPH made decisions which were profoundly and severely damaging and counterproductive to workforce trust, respect for others and employee confidence,” according to the report.

Stephanie Pike Moore, who spoke out about discrimination and has a retaliation complaint pending with the Ohio Civil Rights Commission, said in an email: The City of Cleveland has had multiple opportunities to conduct a fair, timely, and appropriate investigation and has failed to hold individuals accountable to a set standard of ethical behavior as laid out in their own policies. They have made it abundantly clear that the City cannot be trusted to protect its employees let alone the health of the population it is supposed to serve...

I will acknowledge that I’m glad they’re shaking things up a bit but what is disappointing is | clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

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HEEDING GOD’S COMMANDMENT TO “WHACK THY neighbor,” hundreds of Christians gathered maskless and without social distancing for a concert in Edgewater Park last week. The goal was to spread the Good Word. And try to kill each other.

The event was organized by Sean Feucht, a Christian rocker and failed Republican congressional candidate. He’s on a national tour to counteract Black Lives Matter protests over police killings. Feucht’s tour, titled “You Call That Killing?

Get a Load of This!” promises to show BLM’s “violent paid protesters” that white people are dying too. It’s just by their own hand.

Video of the concert depicts the flaxen-haired frontman roaring through a medley of megachurch hits. His breathy, plaintive anthems had the crowd dancing in rapture, which was exactly the point. By gathering without precautions, they appeared to be hastening the End Times.

That’s the Biblical prophecy that a pissed off God will smite Earth in a ball of fire. Disciples of lesser religions will be baked to an unappetizing crisp. Yet evangelicals will ascend to Heaven, where they will be served free decaf lattes, plus a wide selection of white bread and Jell-O. Concertgoers did their best to bring about the rapture. They gathered tightly in prayer, dancing and jumping to celebrate God — who apparently has little regard for epidemiology, even though he invented it. Some were baptized in Lake Erie. There’s no word on how many contracted E. coli.

Cleveland health officials praised the concert as “the superspreader event of the season.” By sharing airborne pathogens, then transmitting them to waiters, hoteliers, friends, kids, bus drivers, teachers, and older relatives, the city can finally gain prominence in the national death standings.

“We needed that,” said an exuberant Rhonda Kendricks, spokeswoman for the Cleveland Health Department. “Our death rates really aren’t as high as they could be.”

Yet her enthusiasm never reached Metroparks police. They cordoned off the area and issued concert organizers a citation.

Feucht wasn’t worried. He lives in California. And after hosting concerts from Kenosha to Portland, he plans to be dead before it’s time to pay.

Norm Osborne, who drove in from Wadsworth, called it a “beautiful night for music and attempted mass suicide.” At age 23, he isn’t particularly worried about dying himself. But he hopes to pass the virus to older uncles and aunts who are Catholic. “By giving the gift of premature death, they won’t have to spend eternity in a deep-fat fryer.”

Missy Emery wants to give the virus to older coworkers at Bed Bath & Beyond. “We’re expecting layoffs,” she said. “If God could take out people with more seniority, it’s just proof of his loving wisdom.”

It will take two weeks to know if their prayers were answered, when intensive care units begin to fill. But either way, it’s a win-win for Jesus. “I’ve been hugging every old person I know,” said Emery. “A job’s bound to open up somewhere.” -Pete Kotz

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| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

Photo by Gage Skidmor/FlickrCC

Cleveland Christian Rock Concert Hailed as Covid Super-Spreader Event of the Season

UPFRONT

the lack of accountability. This sends the message that it’s okay to subjugate employees to the point where employees leave en masse because all you’ll get a special assignment and a slap on the wrist.

In a press conference last week, Mayor Frank Jackson defended the restructuring and said it was designed to make the health department more responsive.

Under Martin-Thompson’s office, the department will work closed on quality of life issues including addressing racism as a public health crisis, and the effects of violence and trauma among youth.

-Rachel Dissell, Sam Allard

In Real Shocker, Rob Portman Totally Cool Being a Hypocrite and Liar About Filling Supreme Court Seat Stunning two or three people, Rob Portman, the esteemed and gonadless Senator from the state of Ohio, issued a statement late Saturday evening regarding the vacant seat on the Supreme Court that directly contradicted his fervent and widely disseminated statements from a mere four years ago concerning a very similar scenario.

A little more than 24 hours after Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg passed away at the age of 87, and a scant 44 days before the election, Portman joined other Republican Senators in backtracking from sentiments and promises made in 2016 when they

argued an open seat on the court shouldn’t be filled during the tail end of a contentious election year.

Let’s compare and contrast.

2020 Rob Portman says: “In the more than two dozen vacancies on the U.S. Supreme Court during a presidential election year in our nation’s history, the sitting president made a nomination in every single case. Leader [Mitch] McConnell has said that he will hold a vote on any nominee President Trump sends to the Senate, and I intend to fulfill my role as a U.S. Senator and judge that nominee based on his or her merits.

The president was elected in 2016, in part, based on a commitment to nominate men and women to the judiciary who would fairly and impartially apply the law and protect the rights guaranteed by the Constitution, not advance public policy goals by legislating from the bench. Likewise, in both 2016 and 2018, the American people have re-elected a Republican Senate majority to help President Trump fulfill that commitment.”

2016 Rob Portman said: “With a spirited and partisan presidential campaign well underway in the last year of a president, the question is whether this is the right time to go through what would be a highly contentious process with a very high likelihood the nominee would not be confirmed, or is it better to let the people have a voice through their choice for president and have a nominating process in a less partisan atmosphere? I acknowledge this is not an easy question to answer, but I think there is a wisdom in this leader’s words:

| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

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UPFRONT “‘It would be our pragmatic conclusion that once the political season is under way, and it is, action on a Supreme Court nomination must be put off until after the election campaign is over.

That is what is fair to the nominee and is central to the process.

Otherwise, it seems to me …we will be in deep trouble as an institution.

Others may fret that this approach would leave the Court with only eight members for some time, but as I see it … the cost of such a result – the need to reargue three or four cases that will divide the Justices four to four – are quite minor compared to the cost that a nominee, the President, the Senate, and the Nation would have to pay for what would assuredly be a bitter fight, no matter how good a person is nominated by the President …’”

“Mitch McConnell? No, Vice President Joe Biden, when he was chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee during the last year of

DIGIT WIDGET 381,009 Cleveland’s population estimate, according to the U.S. Census’ 2019 American Community Survey, down from 383,793 in 2018.

30.8% Percentage of Clevelanders who live in poverty.

1 Cleveland’s rank, among large U.S. cities, for people living in poverty, taking the top spot from Detroit.

$29,008 Median household income in Cleveland, less than half of the national average ($ 60,293).

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| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

a Republican president. There have been similar statements from the current Senate Democratic leader and the next one, but the point Biden made about the legitimacy of the nominee and the institutions of government is persuasive. I agree with him that it would be better to allow this confirmation to take place in a less partisan atmosphere once the people have spoken by factoring in this important issue as part of our presidential vote.”

2020 Rob Portman says: “In 2016, when the vacancy occurred following the death of Justice Antonin Scalia, I said ‘the president has every right to nominate a Supreme Court justice … But the founders also gave the Senate the exclusive right to decide whether to move forward on that nominee.’

Since the 1880s, no Senate has confirmed an opposing-party president’s Supreme Court nominee in a presidential election year. In contrast, when the presidency and the Senate are controlled by the same party, the precedent is for the president’s nominees to get confirmed. In the 19 occasions that a vacancy has occurred when the President and the Senate are of the same party, the Senate has confirmed the nominee and filled the seat in every instance but one. I look forward to seeing who President Trump plans to nominate and thoroughly assessing his or her qualifications for this important role.”

2016 Rob Portman said: “Some argue that the American people have already spoken. And I agree they have. Both the president and the Senate majority were fairly and legitimately elected. The last time we spoke as a nation, two years ago, the American people elected a Republican majority in the U.S. Senate in an election that was widely viewed as an expression that people wanted a check on the power of the president.”

“The president has every right to nominate a Supreme Court justice, and I’m certainly willing to meet with his nominee. But the founders also gave the Senate the exclusive right to decide whether to move forward on that nominee. For the reasons Biden described above, it has been common practice for the Senate to stop acting on lifetime appointments during the last year of a presidential term, and it has been 80 years since any president was permitted to fill a Supreme Court vacancy that arose in a presidential election year.

“I have concluded that the best thing for the country is to trust the

American people to weigh in and to have the confirmation process take place in a less partisan atmosphere.

Awaiting the result of a democratic election, rather than having a nomination fight in this contentious election-year environment, will give the nominee more legitimacy and, as then-Senator Biden pointed out, better preserve the institutional credibility of the Senate and the court.”

Portman is expected to face little to no political repercussions for being a sackless liar, once again.

-Vince Grzegorek

Lake Erie Wind Farm Back on Track after State Power Board’s Decision The LEEDco. “Icebreaker” Project, which envisions six wind turbines 8-10 miles off the Cleveland coast of Lake Erie, could finally be on a realistic path forward.

A state regulatory board voted down a prohibition last week which would have forbidden the turbines from operating at night between March 1 and November 1 every year. Without that prohibition, the nation’s first freshwater wind project, which has been touted both on its power-generation and regional economic merits, just might happen.

The Ohio Power Siting Board reversed its stance on the nighttime ban during a virtual meeting Thursday after pressure from Northeast Ohio lawmakers. The nighttime ban had been called a “poison pill” by LEEDCo. because it would handcuff the turbines’ operation so much that the $20 million project wouldn’t be feasible.

There are still plenty of kinks to work out, and some environmental groups and trade associations remain concerned about the safety of migratory birds. The nighttime prohibition was initially made to protect birds, and LEEDCo. needs to present a satisfactory plan to mitigate their harm before the Power Siting Board can give it the official go ahead.

But for those who’ve been watching this saga play out for a decade or more, Thursday’s vote was a significant step forward.

Cleveland City Council recently passed a resolution decrying the board’s earlier decision when Leed Co. had provided plans to mitigate the harm to birds and bats that even the US Fish and Wildlife Service was satisfied.

Council President Kevin Kelley released a statement saying that council would remain vigilant to ensure that upcoming decisions on the project are made fairly and transparently.

“I’m pleased they did the right thing, but we have to be cautious because the special interests that tried to kill this project are not going to go away,” he said. “There will always be groups that fight renewable energy efforts.” -Allard

Here Today, Not Gonna Stay: I-X Center to Close After 35 Years Cleveland’s International Exposition (I-X) Center announced Wednesday that it would close at the end of the year after 35 years of operation due to Covid-19.

“The global pandemic has decimated the event industry as well as many other businesses and has ultimately led to this decision,” the I-X center wrote in a statement provided to the media.

“The I-X Center would like to thank all its customers, employees, and attendees who helped make the I-X Center a success over the past 35 years.”

Known for its annual boat show, home and garden show, the I-X Center Piston Autorama and the iconic I-X Indoor Amusement Park, the massive event space, adjacent to Cleveland Hopkins International Airport, first opened in 1985 after decades of use as a manufacturing plant for warplanes and tanks.

It was billed for years as the largest single-building exhibition facility in the world. In addition to its annual calendar of conventions and exhibitions, the I-X Center hosted President Donald Trump for political rallies in both 2016 and 2018. Cleveland owns the real estate after they ceded NASA Glenn to Brook Park in exchange for full ownership of the IX Center and more land for the airport.

The news comes only months after the IX Indoor Amusement park jingle was covered, in appropriately downbeat fashion, by a local band.

Speculation abounds about the massive facility’s next life, but local real estate professionals see potential as a distribution facility.

Locals on social media seemed to prefer the idea of destination retail, a la IKEA. -Allard

scene@clevescene.com @clevelandscene | clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

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FEATURE BIG HOT DOG

Policies intended to increase equity among street food vendors bedeviled by classic Cleveland mismanagement

By Sam Allard Like much of the legislation Cleveland City Council greenlights, the June 17 bill came and went without comment. It was passed unanimously, perfunctorily, just one item on a laundry list of others that afternoon on Zoom. It had been referred to council by MOCAP, the Mayor’s Office of Capital Projects, and had been satisfactorily explained at a prior committee hearing. It was small-potatoes, routine stuff.

So routine, in fact, that in the ensuing weeks, several councilpeople weren’t aware what exactly the legislation contained, or indeed, that they’d passed it at all. It had to do with rules governing temporary sidewalk occupancy permits downtown, though.

Right? The $200 annual permits? The hot dog vendor licenses?

Correct.

Council didn’t realize it at the time – they were just moving along legislation at the administration’s behest – but the two significant changes which the legislation set in motion took current street vendors off guard. A few were as steamed as their Polish Boys.

The first change was that in 2020, the 40-odd locations where carts are permitted in the central business district would be awarded based on a new annual lottery system. Applicants were scheduled to be selected at random in late July and then would be obliged to set up their operations wherever they were put. Prime locations, like those on E. 9th Street corners where, at least in the past, foot traffic for Indians and Browns games, plus a reliable stream of weekday lunchers, meant steady and sometimes booming business, hung in the balance.

The other big change was that individual applicants would be limited to five locations. If all the available locations were not assigned in the first round of the lottery, or if an applicant chose not to accept one or more of their spots, those would be put back into the system and successive drawings would be held each month. (In the current system,

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Tyler Gross

when a location becomes available, it’s supposed to go to the next name on a waiting list. But the existence of and adherence to this list has been questioned by vendors.)

On July 7, permit applicants were invited to Public Auditorium for a meeting to “introduce and discuss” the new process. But it ended abruptly when one owner of multiple locations, Jack Hoaui, began to introduce and discuss items not, strictly speaking, on the agenda.

An estimated six total vendors attended the meeting. And those with the most permits promptly lawyered up. They contacted reporter Ed Gallek and secured a favorable story

| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

on Fox 8, which quoted two of them saying the new rules would put them out of business. The lottery system was characterized as a seizure of choice corners at which individual operators had worked hard for decades, cultivating relationships with regular customers and building specific brands. The origin of the legislation was shrouded in mystery.

“One city hall source told us the change in the process had been made so that the best spots downtown don’t stay controlled by the same people,” the Fox 8 story concluded, after four councilpeople admitted they didn’t know anything about it and the Jackson administration

provided no response. “But good luck selling that to the vendors who’ve made a hard living in those spots.”

Councilman Tony Brancatelli got the message. On Sep. 1, the Development, Planning and Sustainability Committee, which he chairs, voted 5-2 to repeal the legislation. Ward 6’s Blaine Griffin and Ward 5’s Phyllis Cleveland dissented without comment. The majority opinion held that the intent of the initial legislation might have been good – broadly speaking: to increase access and opportunity for potential new operators, including vendors of color -- but it was probably prudent to go back to the drawing board.

“To me this was a good government thing,” said Councilman Kerry McCormack, whose downtown Ward 3 includes most of the central business district’s permits.

“But to be clear, this came from the administration, not council.

Initially, I thought it was a good idea. It makes sense to open up the process to those who might not have had access in the past. We should be encouraging a diverse background of vendors. But the administration was not ready to set up this system, and apparently, they didn’t communicate their plans with existing vendors. Because of that breakdown, people freaked out.”

Plus, it’s a pandemic, and it occurred to everyone that it might be better to institute a reconfigured policy next year. This year’s permit fees were waived. But at least some of the vendors who continue to operate sporadically downtown are doing so without permits anyway, due to delays (or indifference) at the division of licensing and assessments and the office of Capital Projects. For months, vendors had shut down their operations entirely as downtown Cleveland went full Brigadoon.

Even now, if you were to crisscross downtown by bicycle, you’d only encounter a handful of hot dog carts that are up and running daily.

George Tsambounieris’ is one of them. He’s a member of the “big three” operators downtown and was quoted in Ed Gallek’s story, which, plase rest assured, he had queued up on his phone when Scene chatted with him last week. He operates the popular cart on the corner of E. 9th and Prospect, right outside the Cuyahoga County headquarters and can be heard from time to time shouting “Who’s Next” to no one particular in his Greek accent, squirting oil on his grilling veggies and sausages.

Along with the “Lucky Dogs” brand (operated by Jack Hoaui), and the John’s Hot Dogs brand, Tsambounieris would stand to lose locations if the city’s new process were put into effect.

He told Scene business has been rough. He didn’t even bother coming downtown for four months after Gov. Mike DeWine’s stay-home order and said he lost thousands of dollars waiting it out. Now, he’s back most every day, but only operates his flagship location on E. 9th Street, where he estimated sales are down 70 percent. The recent actions of City Hall were so upsetting to him, he said, because the city never gave him a reason for the proposed changes.

“You report for Scene, right?” He asked. “Imagine if the city said, all

of a sudden, there’s a lottery and now you can’t work for Scene. You have to go be a reporter for [Fox 8].

How would you like that? There are vendors who’ve been down here 30-40 years. They’ve built up their careers since the ’70s at their corners.”

Jack Hoaui, who’s been acquiring locations for a decade with his eye always on expansion, described himself as a relative newcomer on the scene. In a recent phone conversation, he was a little clearer-eyed on the reasons for the city’s legislation.

“Honestly, it’s because they think I have too many spots,” he said.

Hoaui was diplomatic in describing instances of frustrating back-and-forths and legal disputes with various city departments in recent years. Among them: the city changed his permit a few years back so that he wasn’t allowed to operate during Walnut Wednesdays, arguing that it was for “food trucks,” not carts like his. He said he’s been told that his 16 locations in the central business district, the most of any single operator, is akin to a “monopoly.”

“People keep using that word, ‘monopoly,’” he said, “But that’s not what I have. I’m trying to run a business, and the only reason I have these spots is because nobody wanted them six, eight years ago when downtown sucked. Now the city wants them back, and I refuse to give them up.”

Hoaui said he’s tried to work with the city and that he’d even be willing to negotiate locations – “I’ve said, I’ll give you three spots back for one decent spot,” – but being reduced to only five locations would ruin the business model that he’s built up for the past decade. He’s already had to sell a number of his carts and other equipment to compensate for losses during the pandemic.

He also surmised that a lottery system might seem equitable in theory, but it didn’t account for the range of operators downtown. It wouldn’t just be the multiple-permit holders who could get screwed, he said.

It’s a rare day when Hoaui staffs all of his permitted locations at once – “The Cavs Championship parade,” he said, citing one obvious example.

For him and others with more than five locations, you have to operate them strategically.

“I might have five that I do only for Browns games,” he said. “But they wouldn’t make sense on most any other day. I do a different five for Indians games. If there’s a concert at Public Hall I do different locations than on a regular Saturday. There are just different dynamics to it,

and the city hasn’t taken that into account.”

That approach has been criticized by some at City Hall, and by those who covet what are thought to be prime corners, because it’s a tactic seen as “hoarding,” crowding out potential competition. But according to Hoaui, some of the locations are event specific and only work as part of a larger approach.

For the single corner operators, the six remaining old-school hotdog-and-a-coke vendors who have no ambition beyond slinging delicious hot lunch options at the one location they’ve cultivated for years, a relocation to an event-specific hot spot might be far less appealing.

“How many Browns games are there even going to be this year?”

George Tsambounieris asked rhetorically, on the same topic. “And how many fans?”

Alternately, you could get exiled to E. 33rd and Euclid, the location outside Bryant & Stratton College, which is now closed, where Hoaui said a vendor would be lucky to net $20 per day.

“Say you’re trying to break into this business, and you invest in a cart,” he said. “You pay your commissary rent and your licensing fees, just so you can apply for that lottery spot, and then you get a spot that sucks. Well, suddenly you’re $10,000 in and it’s going to cost you more to license your cart for a year than you’ll be able to make in a year.

But just say that you do. Say that you invest into making it a good spot, and you build up business.

Well, the next year you’ve got to put it back into the freaking lottery. The whole thing’s ass-backwards.”

City Council, at any rate, seems prepared to work toward crafting a policy that’s more acceptable to everyone.

“I think this was a wake-up call,” said Blaine Griffin, one of the two dissenters earlier this month.

“I know the youngins on council are very conscious of equity and making sure that’s weighed in every conversation, but I think this just caught them off guard. Even these little bills actually do affect somebody.”

Griffin believes that council should have tabled the bill before passage and had a more rigorous conversation about its implications.

“Quite frankly, I think we need to do that more often,” he said. “I know we make all our decisions in public, but we need to be having conversations among ourselves to make sure we all understand the bills before us and what it is we’re trying to accomplish.”

One of the reasons Griffin voted against the repeal Sept. 1 was on principle. “I don’t think it’s good practice to repeal a piece of legislation on the fly,” he said. “Every member of council voted for this [in June]. To just repeal it and say we want a do-over, I don’t think that’s good legislative practice.”

But he also said that he strongly believed government should not be in the business of giving one business access to a public right of way for life.

“It’s not the government’s job to pick winners and losers, whether it’s a hot dog stand or a large corporation,” he said. “We need a fair and equitable way to circulate those permits. And if we’re helping anyone in the private sector operate a monopoly, that’s something I’m firmly against.”

Councilwoman Phyllis Cleveland agreed. She said she felt the current system, without changes, gave certain operators monopolies on prime corners.

“It just doesn’t sit well with me,” she said, “that some operators get a lock for life while others can’t break in. But I do understand that there needs to be some continuity, and someone should not have to guess from year to year where they’re going to set up, whether they’re going to have any stability.”

Cleveland said there were obvious issues with the initial legislation, but that the repeal came up for a vote without discussion. “No one talked to me ahead of time about it,” she said, “and without additional context I felt I had to vote no.”

As council works to craft a new policy, vendors say they want to be included in the process, so that they can provide feedback on the way they operate their businesses and offer suggestions for innovative ways to distribute permits. One outside observer who attended the July 7 MOCAP meeting said that one option might be to allow the top five permit holders to each pick one or two locations to keep each year and put the others in a lottery system. A “draft,” instead of a lottery, was also discussed for the remaining sites.

Another option, would be to increase the total number of permits in the central business district, seeing as many of them aren’t operated daily.

“Whatever we do,” said Councilman McCormack, “we need to make sure that we honor our legacy vendors, but also to create a process that’s as inclusive as possible.”

sallard@clevescene.com t@scenesallard

| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

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ART ESCAPING UPSTAIRS

The Museum of Human Art presents “When the Color Heals the Rest,” the latest work by Lauren Pearce

THE MUSEUM OF HUMAN ART began its reign over the apartment gallery above Mahall’s last Friday with its presentation of “When the Color Heals the Rest,” the latest work

by Lauren Pearce.

Pearce brings her fantastic pallet to Mahall’s quaint apartment gallery and aims to offer art as healing practice for a culture in tumult.

“So much of my focus right now is perspective, healing, grace and joy,” says Pearce, who is Black. ”When thinking about this show and what I wanted to create, so much of it was surrounded by my identity, but also what that actually means to me. There is such a push for people to consume Black struggle and I wanted to share something more than my struggle, more than the pain we are currently feeling. I wanted to share how art, color, and the relationships in my life bring me joy and help me to find healing and peace in the chaos.”

The exhibition is curated by Antwoine Washington, who is the founder of the non-profit organization Museum of Creative Human Art, which he started when he moved back to Cleveland after receiving his BA in Studio Art from Southern University and A&M College, Baton Rouge, LA, doing a brief stint as a U.S. Postal worker and before suffering from a stroke in 2018.

Using art as therapy, Washington has continued to flourish as an artist, exhibiting his work at the Cleveland Print Room, Worthington Yards, The Cleveland Hopkins International Airport, Rooms to Let and Artist Archives of the Western Reserve.

He also was commissioned to do a mural in Public Square by Land Studios. We were able to interview Washington to take a closer look as what inspired this exhibition and his non-profit.

“Museum of Creative Human Art uses a character-based approach to bridge creative expression with education and personal development,” explains Washington. “We provide a space for underserved youth to learn, connect, create, and share. At the heart of our work is a focus on

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cultivating conscientiousness, moral agency, core values, and the social attitudes necessary for individuals to make meaningful contributions to society. We encourage young artists to produce independently, but also reinforce shared imaginative exploration to spark fresh ideas and works of art. We aim to equip young, underserved artists with the tools to express their thoughts, emotions, and views through various art forms.”

Pearce’s works have been created over the past couple of months but she says that the majority of them were finished the last couple of weeks. They were inspired by her Jamaican culture and the influential people in her life, particularly strong Black individuals. The paintings are explosive with color while expertly balanced with white space. Her work is exceptional considering she had no training outside of the Art Magnet school she attended for Middle and High School in South Florida. Her work brims with natural talent and fervor while not convoluted with selfawareness.

“I think people are complex and for me so much of my inner work comes from painting the people in my life. I normally paint from my experiences so painting the people in my life goes hand in hand with that,” remarks Pearce. “We as people are filled with stories and if I can capture just one of those stories with my brush makes me feel incredibly fulfilled. We are unique and for me it is even more important to paint the brown and black people in my life. I want them to be felt, seen, and known for the beautiful and remarkable people that they are.”

There is a wildness to the design of the subjects’ clothing, which shrouds the candid faces of the sitters. In a piece which Pearce says she has yet to title, we see two figures sedentary on what looks like a couch. The male stares out, not confrontational but somewhat addressing the viewer with his eyes, while the female figure lovingly wraps her feet around her partner looking almost annoyed by the observation as if unwillingly caught

| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

Image courtesy Lauren Pearce

By Shawn Mishak

in a display of intimate domesticity.

Most of these paintings are portraiture and the vibrant patterns are reminiscent of Kehinde Wiley’s, which usually feature subjects rendered realistically but blanketed by forests of flowers or wallpaper-like designs. Pearce’s portraits in general capture her subjects in sometime majestic poses and seem to harken back to a fellow artist of Jamaican ancestry, Tamara Natalie Madden.

Pearce comments that her work is in fact influenced by her Jamaican heritage along with her racial identity. She just recently completed a two-wall mural in Brooklyn and is incorporating a mural into this exhibition which, from what I have seen, ‘screams’ with color and designs which complement while also animating her paintings and the space in which they are inhabiting.

Her bio states: “…in her work, she transfers her world onto her paintings and allows her imagination to bring forth the colorful language of identity, race, and womanhood, beyond a canvas.”

I asked Pearce how this ties into “When the Color Heals the Rest.”

“It is at the core of my show,” Pearce says. “My identity as a Black woman in a world that preys and creates our struggles. It has shaped the way I view the world and my work. My identity has given me the wings to my imagination. Using color and my ability to create feeling with my work to embody what it means and how I feel being a woman and a Black woman at that in the art world. I’m hoping that in some way in all of my work really that there is at least one piece where they feel seen. I want those that come to leave feeling lighter and encouraged. I want them to experience joy when standing in a room full of my work.”

In the interest of keeping patrons safe against the spread of Covid-19, Washington and Mahall’s will limit the number of people allowed in the gallery at any given time using a slot system. Register online.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene

| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

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| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

VEGGI E LOVE TACO

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PIGGY LOVE TACO

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Grilled chicken smothered in our spicy BangBang Sauce and a cool yogurt sauce. Garnished with red onion, micro cilantro, and crunchy noodles. Spicy (5 of 5), garlicky, salty flavors. Vegetarian sauce. 310 cal, 21g fat.

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pulled pork, slaw, Korean BBQ sauce, jalapeno relish.

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| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

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$8 pizzas

WE’RE BRINGING YOU $8 PIZZAS FROM SOME OF CLEVELAND’S MOST POPULAR PIZZA JOINTS!

CLEVELANDPIZZAWEEK.COM | #CLEVELANDPIZZAWEEK 22

| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

Photo by Doug Trattner

EAT AHOY!

Sixth City Sailor’s Club’s beachside fare and atmosphere make it a muchneeded safe harbor amid the current storm

By Douglas Trattner WHEN JOSEPH FREDRICKSON announced his plans to open a restaurant in the former Hodge’s space downtown, his stated objective was to construct the inverse of Society Lounge, his craft cocktail bar on E. Fourth Street. Whereas the latter offers an experience that is upscale, meticulous and exclusive, Sixth City Sailor’s Club was designed from the jump to be approachable, affordable and built for speed. But more than anything, the mission was to squeeze every ounce of light and life from that spacious courtyard patio and alfresco bar, a prominent feature that the dark, cool, subterranean speakeasy lacks.

“We die in summertime,” Fredrickson admits of Society Lounge.

Lucky for Fredrickson, this season has been an endless string of near-perfect days and evenings.

That smooth runway has provided Sixth City Sailor’s Club the chance to establish itself as the neighborhood’s new neighborhood bar, a novel alternative to dark dives, bland chains and spendy upmarket eateries. Shoehorned into the crook of adjacent buildings, this kitschy, jaunty, nautically themed oasis is the antidote to pandemic detachment syndrome.

The last cocktail I enjoyed at Society Lounge was a sleight-ofhand masterpiece that required an enigmatic glass chamber, plumes of aromatic wood smoke and the patience of a wildlife photographer.

In contrast, my Negroni ($10) at Sixth City arrives in the time it takes to remove my facemask. The cocktail is one of a dozen different concoctions that are batched, bottled and ready-to-sling. This one arrives in a sealed cough syrup-style bottle alongside a rocks-filled lowball. Others, like the

stout-infused Nitro Old Fashioned ($10) and coffee-scented Irish Bush-Wacker ($10) come in draft or slushie form, respectively.

For a concept described as “bar first and restaurant second,” Sixth City boasts a menu that is far better than it needs to be.

Originally conceived by consulting chef Jeff Jarrett, and administered by current chef Dan Zuchinski, the captivating roster reads like a beachside table tent. Shrimp fritters, fried clams, clam chowder

on-deck poutine ($9) capped with braised short rib, cheese curds and savory gravy. Fickle pierogi fans can opt for a flight ($7) that combines a trio of dumplings stuffed with potato and cheddar, sweet potato, and jalapeno-spiked cheddar. Uniting them is a ribbon of chive sour cream.

A companion forced my hand with a “healthy” option: the bountiful arugula salad ($10), a winning toss of fresh greens, roasted beets, candied pecans

SIXTH CITY SAILOR’S CLUB 668 EUCLID AVE., CLEVELAND 216-938-7392 SIXTHCITYSAILORS.COM

and lobster rolls will have diners reflexively reaching for bibs and lemon wedges. These aren’t freezerburnt dough balls either; the fish nuggets ($7) are gently fried bundles of plump, moist walleye served with house tartar sauce and juicy grilled lemons. The ultimate finger food, fried clams ($8) arrive sunset-gold, drizzled with a light but fragrant roasted garlic aioli and paired with a mound of citrusy mixed-veg slaw.

Prices are low, portions are robust and flavors are dialed in.

A mountain of crispy duck fatfried potatoes ($6) come simply garnished with rosemary and Sriracha aioli or as an all-hands-

and goat cheese. While far from innovative, the construction was texturally balanced and delicious, thanks in no small part to the creamy buttermilk dressing. I countered that move with an order of calamari ($9), a tentacle-filled platter of crispy satisfaction.

Shake Shack might be around the corner, but Sixth City’s smash burger might be the sleeper hit of the city. Dubbed the Captain’s Smash ($10), this tidy wax paperwrapped stack features a brioche bun containing a slim patty capped with cheddar, bacon, egg, lettuce, tomato, onion and the Captain’s special sauce. (That bursting yolk, by the way, is murder on beards.)

Feel like a double? What about a triple? How do you feel about avocado, lobster or Buffalo wing sauce? A build-your-own-burger section gives diners complete control over patties, cheese, toppings and sauces.

Sixth City blends that easygoing nautical theme with a distinctive Cleveland vibe to land on items like a classic Polish Boy, with kielbasa, sauce, fries and slaw, and the Fish and Chips, which consists of beerbattered walleye and fresh-cut fries. For beefeaters, there’s a Steak Frites starring grilled sirloin steak, duck fat-fried frites and foie gras butter.

If restaurant owners have learned anything over these past six months, it’s not to look too far into the future as all semblance of predictability is out the window.

Fredrickson and the crew at SS Sixth City are focusing on today and tomorrow by keeping guests happily distracted with restorative cocktails, appealing snacks, sandwiches and entrees and engrossing diversions like pool, bocce and fire pits. They will attempt to keep the fun rolling well into fall with clambakes, heated enclosures and fun themed events, because nobody seems to know what the next port of call will bring.

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner | clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

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EAT BITES

Butcher and the Brewer has reopened after six months of Covid closure

AFTER SIX MONTHS OF being shuttered, Butcher and the Brewer (2043 E. Fourth St., 216-331-0805) downtown has reopened for indoor and outdoor service. Owner Chris Lieb says that longtime fans should prepare themselves for a few changes, all designed to protect the safety of diners as well as the financial viability of the business.

Everything has been scaled back, he says, including the staff, the menu, and the days and hours of operation.

“The reality of it is, we can’t go full bore; there’s just not enough business to support it,” he explains.

“We scaled it all back so that we can try to function in this atmosphere – and still do it very well – but not to the degree we’re used to.”

To reopen after six months (and smashed windows) required weeks of lead time, adds Lieb.

In effect, it’s like opening a new restaurant. Staffers had to be rehired and retrained, a menu needed to be conceived and inventory amassed, and then there are all the Covid additions like barriers and sanitation protocols.

The good news is that fresh beer has been flowing all along as Butcher and the Brewer has been brewing to accommodate off-premises sales for the first time. Those house brews are now available on tap at bars across the state.

Lieb says that the name of the game these days is survival.

And that word means something different to each business based on location, clientele and product.

“The goal right now is to weather the storm,” he says. “There is nothing to bring people downtown: sports, concerts, conventions, Playhouse Square and workers,” he says.

“That’s the scary thing about East Fourth. Do people like us enough to come down just to see us? The first two days have been decent, but is it enough to survive?

I don’t know, but we’re giving it our best shot.”

Tremont Taphouse, he reports, has been open and doing fine for about a month.

Photo by Emanuel Wallace

By Douglas Trattner

Umami, Which Closed in June, to Reopen for Carry-Out and Limited Dine-In Service Umami announced back in June that it was closing its doors after 12 years in business. Like many other restaurants, the petite 10-table bistro in Chagrin Falls had pivoted to takeout business in the early days of the pandemic, but soon after the State of Ohio began allowing outdoor dining, business completely dropped off, says partner Mike Mendlovic.

“When we did carry-out, we did awesome, but the second that patios opened, we just went dead,” Mendlovic explains. “And I don’t blame people, but it wasn’t worth it to us to stay open and pay all those bills.”

But now, as thoughts turn to fall, Mendlovic says that he and team members like chef Andrew Nichols and General Manager Nikki Williams have reconsidered next steps. After much deliberation, they will reopen Umami (42 North Main St.) in a limited but creative fashion.

“People are really clamoring for the food we are making,” he says.

“Not a day goes by when a person doesn’t reach out to ask when we are reopening, so we decided we might as well put something together.”

Beginning next week, Umami will be offer a carry-out menu on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays.

On Thursdays, the restaurant will be open for dine-in service by reservation only, with a handful of tables. There will be no carry-out service on Thursdays given the small size of the kitchen.

Mendlovic says that already, after just a little word of mouth, the dine-in tables are booked through the first month.

Chef Nichols is presently updating the carry-out menu to be more fall-focused. On Thursdays, he will feature more creative specials.

Interested diners should call the restaurant to reserve a spot.

Cilantro Taqueria to Open Third Location in Recently Shuttered John’s Diner in Lakewood John’s Diner (18260 Detroit Ave.) in Lakewood lasted for nearly 50 years until the pandemic shut it down for good. That long and narrow railcar diner and attached dining room won’t sit idle for long. The team behind Cilantro Taqueria already is at work converting the unique property into store number three.

Partners Raul Carrillo and Alex Galindo opened their first location

(2783 Euclid Hts. Blvd., 216-331-3069) in early 2019, in a former Chipotle restaurant near Coventry. Next came Shaker Heights (20090 Van Aken Blvd.).

Spokesperson Rey Galindo says that Cilantro seems to be making a lasting impression with Mexican food fans because of their classic approach.

“I think our food has a more authentic taste to it,” Galindo states.

“We do have the tacos that people load up, but also if you just want it the Mexican way with the tortilla, meat, cilantro, onion and salsa, you can.”

The team hopes to open within the next couple months, following some interior work that will convert the timeless diner arrangement to one more conducive to fast-casual dining.

The main counter will need to come out, but many of the old booths will remain. A large chunk of the massive parking lot will be converted to patio seating.

Don’t be surprised if Lakewood, Shaker and Cleveland Heights are just the start, adds Galindo.

“We’re trying to expand big,” he says. “We’re trying to make this into a big chain, even out of state.”

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner | clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

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MUSIC C-NOTES

New photo exhibit celebrating Rock Hall’s 25th anniversary opens at Hopkins International Airport

TO CELEBRATE ITS 25TH anniversary, the Rock Hall has partnered with local photographer Janet Macoska for an exhibit that’s now on view at Cleveland Hopkins International Airport. Dubbed Long Live Rock! , the exhibit features significant milestones and legendary Inductee performances captured by Macoska.

Since 1974, Macoska has photographed acts such as David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, the Clash, Heart, DEVO, AC/DC and the Kinks — most of whom are Rock Hall Inductees. The exhibit at the airport features some of her favorite photographs.

“These special images from my collection give you a front row seat to concerts that took place right here in my hometown of Cleveland, Ohio, along with iconic moments from the Rock Hall’s history, including its legendary opening 25 years ago,” says Macoska in a press statement.

One of rock’s most respected photographers, Macoska has photos in the permanent collection of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, the Smithsonian Museum of American History and the National Portrait Gallery in London. Macoska was inducted into the Cleveland Journalism Hall of Fame in 2017 and is represented by Iconic Images in London.

The exhibit runs through December 2020 and is in the CLE Airport Public Gallery.

Local Indie Rockers Papi and the Smears Release Debut Single The members of the local indie rock act Error! Hyperlink reference not valid. — singer-guitarist Jessica Komyati, guitarist John Jasunas, singer-bassist Devin Ratajczak and drummer Randy Kozelka — all grew up in the same area in Willoughby/ East Lake.

About a year ago, band leader Komyati, who majored in American sign language at Kent State University, had written the

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Photo by Janet Macoska

By Jeff Niesel

song “Hungry Heart” and was looking for a band to back her up for a recording of the track. She recruited her friends to help her record the tune, and the group just released the number, its debut single.

“This song is the first song I brought to the guys,” Komyati says via phone. “They’ve been buddies for a while. I would bring it to friends to find someone to play with me. I found John [Jasunas] and Devin [Ratajczak], and John had a set up in his basement for us to play. We came together and got the song pretty tight and then our drummer came around a little bit after that. This song is very important to us because it started everything for us.”

With its lounge-y vibe, “Hungry Heart,” a song about “the tragic loss of a lover,” crosses over into jazz or torch singer territory.

“I would say it has a jazz feel and a little bit of the blues,” says Komyati. “It’s got a swing beat with the drums. It just started off with some chords on my acoustic. We had to get into the studio and figure out what we wanted. We didn’t

| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

even have a bridge written at first.

Our producer is my father, and we recorded in my parents’ recording studio. It’s also where the [local band] Modern Electric did their first album.”

Currently at work on an album, the band is struggling to find safe gigs to play given the state’s restrictions on mass gatherings.

“It’s an odd time, and we really do miss playing out,” she says, adding that the band’s full-length should drop sometime next year.

Local Rapper Will Cherry Releases New Single and Music Video Will Cherry, a local 23-yearold up-and-coming hip-hop artist, has just released “Death Proof,” a single from his upcoming debut album, Burgundy. Characterized

by Cherry’s smooth, laid back flow, the song juxtaposes ‘90s R&B with modern rap drums and makes a direct reference to Quentin Tarantino’s 2007 film of the same name.

The accompanying music video

features several Lorain County and Elyria landmarks, and the song marks the first collaboration between Cleveland Heightsbased Mathaius Young (producer for Don Toliver, Rockie Fresh and UnoTheActivist) and Tae Miles (collaborator of Lorine Chia, Ezri) in five years.

Last month, Cherry released his debut single “PSA,” a quarantine creation about his “outlook on being a black man in America.” “’PSA’ is my debut single, and it’s specifically about my perspective and experience as a black man in America, especially during trying times like these,” explains Cherry.

“Thematically, I’m talking about the bias and double standards my people face, along with the black rage and fear of a historically racist police force in America, juxtaposed against the idolization of black creatives and my ambitions to be successful over relaxed, yet commanding, production.”

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel

| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

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SAVAGE LOVE MISSED CONNECTIONS

by Dan Savage Hey, Dan: Married guy here.

I’m 33, the wife is 31. Our fifth anniversary is next month but we’ve been together for almost eight years. We’ve recently both come out to each other as bi. She tried to tell me a long time ago whereas I came to the realization only recently. We’re both interested in new sexual encounters and this weekend we met up with a male escort. It was my first sexual experience with a man and the first sexual encounter between my wife and another man in eight years ... and we found it lacking. It was too short, and too impersonal. Is this how it usually goes with escorts? Should we have been more upfront with our interests ahead of time? We don’t want to keep spending the money if we’re not getting the experience we want.

We need to stay fairly discreet for most of these encounters due to our careers. Appreciate any input.

Basking In Confusion Over Underwhelming, Pitifully Lackluster Experience P.S. A shoutout to my amazing wife for going from learning I’m bi to fucking another dude with me three months later!

Some sex workers love their jobs, some don’t; some sex workers are good at their jobs, some aren’t.

Sometimes a sex worker doesn’t click with a particular client for some ephemeral, hard-to-define reason; sometimes a client gives off a bad vibe — or a bad odor — and the sex worker bails or hurries things along not because they’re a shitty sex worker, BICOUPLE, but because their client is shitty or smells shitty.

But here’s the thing, BICOUPLE: No sex worker can read minds. You tell me you’re wondering if you should’ve been “more upfront with [your] interests ahead of time.” If you left something important out when you made the booking, well, that could’ve been the problem. No sex worker likes having things sprung on them. A sex worker who doesn’t do kink is going to feel very uncomfortable if there’s a bunch of bondage gear laid out when they arrive; even a sex worker who does kink is going to feel uncomfortable if kink wasn’t discussed in advance.

Similarly, BICOUPLE, if you didn’t

explain to your sex worker that there were two of you, your sex worker might’ve felt uncomfortable when they arrived.

If you weren’t clear about your wants and your sex worker didn’t ask or you couldn’t articulate them after he asked, you put your sex worker in the position of having to guess. And your sex worker may have guessed wrong — some clients prefer sex that’s athletic, impersonal or aggressive. And if your sex worker had a bad experience with a husband who got upset when his wife seemed a little too into him, he may have erred on the side of maintaining some emotional distance even as you got physically close.

If what you wanted — if what you were most interested in — was a more intimate and connected experience, then you weren’t just expecting sexual labor from the sex worker you hired, BICOUPLE, but his emotional labor too. While affection and intimacy can certainly be faked, we don’t typically expect a strong emotional connection when we’re hooking up with a stranger. Being sexually intimate can build that connection, BICOUPLE, but it can take time and a few meetings to get there. To avoid winding up in bed with another sex worker you don’t click with, I would advise you to take the time — and spend the money — to make a real connection. By which I mean: Go on a date. Find a sex worker you’re interested in and make a date — for dinner. Pay them for their time, pay for their meal, and if you click, BICOUPLE, if you feel like you could connect, book them for a sex date.

Hey, Dan: Straight male here, divorced four years ago, just entering my fifties. I recently expanded my dating app parameters to see everyone in my area. I wanted to check out the competition and possibly give myself a little ego boost. I have a gay male friend who is in his forties. Mr. Forties has a boyfriend of two years who is in his twenties. They are great together — they vacation together, they quarantined together, Mr. Twenties and Mr. Forties worked on redecorating a home together, etc.

The problem is I spotted Mr. Forties on several dating apps. It would have been perfectly acceptable for him to

say “none of your business” when I asked him why. Instead he told me they were old profiles, implying they pre-dated Mr. Twenties. He lists pets on his profiles that he adopted a few months ago. I have a sore spot about this behavior because my ex-wife started “auditioning” my replacement before we filed divorce papers. I really don’t like being lied to. What do I do? Confront Mr. Forties? Mind my own business and hope Mr. Forties doesn’t crush Mr. Twenties by cheating? Help!

Fumbled Into Fraught Terrain Involving Expanded Search Maybe Mr. Forties and Mr. Twenties have an open relationship. Maybe they have a closed relationship but both regard flirting on dating apps as harmless. Maybe Mr. Forties was charged with finding a very special guest star for a threesome. Or maybe Mr. Forties has profiles on dating apps for the exact same reason you expanded the parameters on your profiles, FIFTIES: for the ego boost.

If it was any of the above — if there was an innocent explanation — why did Mr. Forties go with “Those were old profiles,” instead of “We sometimes have threesomes”? Well, in my experience, FIFTIES, some straight people have a hard time wrapping their heads around the kind of non-monogamy practiced by most gay male couples. Hell, some closed-minded gay people have a hard time with it.

I can imagine a scenario where Mr. Forties was honest with people in the past and got a bad reaction and consequently no longer feels safe — much less obligated — to share the details of his sex life with straight or gay friends. So he gave you the answer a lot of straight people and some gay people prefer to hear when they ask pointed questions of partnered friends they assumed to be monogamous: “Of course I’m not sleeping around!

Those were old profiles! My monogamous boyfriend would never want me to shove my monogamous dick down his throat while some other dude non-monogamously rearranges his guts! Heavens!

We’re far too busy redecorating our lovely home to arrange threesomes!

Which we’re totally not interested in

having!”

Look, FIFTIES, you put a question to Mr. Forties that he wasn’t obligated to answer at all, much less answer truthfully. So what do you do now? What you should’ve done when you first stumbled over Mr. Forties’ dating profiles: You do nothing. You drop it. The issue you shouldn’t have brought up in the first place? You don’t bring it up again. Even if Mr. Forties is auditioning replacements for Mr. Twenties — even if he lied to you for a selfish, self-serving reason — it’s still none of your business.

Hey, Dan: My boyfriend and I first heard the terms “sexual monogamy” and “social monogamy” on your podcast. They describe us: not sexually monogamous, but we present that way socially and most people in our lives assume we are.

Including my mother. We’re both from very Republican families that struggled to accept us. My attitude is that if my brothers don’t have to tell our parents about their kinks, I don’t have to tell them about my threesomes. (Both of my older brothers have confided in me about their kinks, which I wish that hadn’t.) But it got back to me via my sister that my Trump-worshipping, Obama-despising mother only accepts me and my boyfriend because we are “good” gays. Good because we’re monogamous, like good straight people, and not promiscuous, like bad gay people. Now I feel like I should say something. But what?

They Really Underestimate My Proclivities “Good people can be ‘promiscuous,’ Mom, and awful people can be monogamous. Take Donald Trump.

That asshole has been married three times and cheated on every one of his wives. Barack Obama, whom you despise, has been married once and has never been caught cheating.

Which means Obama either doesn’t cheat or, like everything else he’s ever done, from being someone’s husband to being our president, he’s better at it than Donald Trump.”

mail@savagelove.net t@fakedansavage www.savagelovecast.com | clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

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| clevescene.com | September 23-29, 2020

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