San Antonio Current - Best of San Antonio 2016

COCKTAILS, PUFFY TACOS, DRAG QUEENS AND 150+ WINNERS INSIDE

Where ENTE RTAI NMENT lives in San Antonio

KIDZ BOP

April 24, 2016 $22.50, $27.50 and $32.50

BEBEL GILBERTO May 17, 2016 $35 and $75

TAYLOR HICKS May 26, 2016 $36.50 and $65

INTERNATIONAL CHILDREN’S PUPPET FESTIVAL

MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS

May 04-10 2016 $12

May 12 - 15, 2016 $49.50

JOHN WAITE

PETER FRAMPTON

May 22, 2016 $39.50

May 23, 2016

JO DEE MESSINA

JOHN MAYALL

June 10, 2016 $29.50 and $39.50

$39.50, $49.50,$64.50 and $94.50

June 25, 2016 $49.50 and $75

Tickets available in person at the Tobin Box Office (100 Auditorium Circle), online at www.TobinCenter.org or by phone at 210.223.8624

CHUBBY CHECKER June 25, 2016

$29.50, $42.50, $54.50 and $74.50

TED NUGENT July 14, 2016 $29.50, $39.50 and $49.50

CASE / LANG / VEIRS August 02, 2016 $43.50, $58.50, $68.50 and $104.00

AMERICA

July 02, 2016 $34.50, $46.50, $64.50, and $100.

EMERSON STRING QUARTET July 07, 2016 $29.50, $39.50 and $49.50

LUKE WADE

BRING IT LIVE!

KANSAS

RICH ROBINSON

July 22, 2016 $25

September 02, 2016 $32.50, $42.50, $54.50 and $100

July 22, 2016 $29.75

September 25, 2016 $36.50 & $80

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sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 7

San Antonio Current Publisher: Michael Wagner Associate Publisher: Lara Fischer

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Editorial

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8 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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Copyright - The entire contents of the San Antonio Current are copyright 2015 by Euclid Media Group LLC. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. Publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed above.

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A Fashion Event

Saturday, May 14 11 am - 3 pm

Quarry Village Free Admission, All Ages Fashion show at 12 p.m. by designer

Leighton Whittington

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Treatments Include:

Locations La Casita Monte Vista Historic District 326 W. Craig Place San Antonio, TX 78212 210.692.3000 Sonterra at Stone Oak Hardy Oak Medical Pavilion

18707 Hardy Oak Blvd., Suite 101 San Antonio, TX 78258 210.370.9995

Our Treatments Wrinkle Relaxers Dysport Xeomin Restylane Silk Restylane Lift Juvederm Voluma - Juverderm Ultra Plus Radiesse and Belotero Sculptra Aesthetic Non Surgical Skin Tightening & Lifting Ultherapy Pellevé Body Treatments CoolSculpting EXILIS UltraShape Z-Wave PelleFirm Vectus Laser Hair Removal Facial Rejuvenation Laser Genesis Rezenerate Pen Peels By PCA SkinCare Peels

Medical Services Include: All Diseases Skin, Hair, and Nails Rosacea • Acne • Psoriasis Eczema • Brown Spots/Melasma • Hair Loss Skin Cancer Screening Mole Checks and Mole Removal Cyst Removal • Skin Tag Removal Biopsies • Cryotherapy Surgical Excisions • Acne Injections

Customized Skincare:

Fillers Wrinkle Relaxers Non Surgical Skin Tightening and Lifting Spider Veins Acne Scars Fat Reduction Laser Rejuvenation Chemical Peels Hand Rejuvenation Stretch Marks • Cellulite Treatment Laser Hair Removal Make up Applications and Lessons Customized Facials Treatments for Expectant and Nursing Moms Red Carpet Ready Treatments

www.drvivianbucay.com

sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 11

IN THIS

Custom papel picado design created by San Antoniobased artist Kathleen Trenchard (cut-it-out.org).

ISSUE

ON THE

Art direction by Rick Fisher

COVER

16 / April 20-26, 20 Issue 16_16 //

14

WELCOME

19

63

FOOD + DRINK

20

SHOPPING

It’s time for Best of San Antonio 2016!

Burgers, nachos, juices and 42 of the city’s most soughtafter morsels.

Looking for the best place to get your next patch of ink or set of wheels? Here’s 24 of the city’s primo shop therapy spots.

83

111

141

PEOPLE

NIGHTLIFE

There’s a new top Spur in town! Plus 26 more SA denizens to know.

Local breweries, gay bars and where to find the coldest cocktails along with 26 more premeir watering holes and drinks.

174

189

CALENDAR

Our top picks for the week

AROUND TOWN

Dive deep into San Antonio’s nooks and crannies from where to take in all its splendor to where to adopt your next furry best friend.

ETC.

Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology This Modern World

168 73

161 90 12 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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INTRO

BEST OF 2016

SAN ANTONIO

AND THE WINNERS ARE ...

≥

What you hold in your hands (or read on your screen) is a massive ode to the majority vote.

In a world where decision-making is messy, in a year when we’ll use a confusing and arcane system to pick our country’s next leader, the majority vote is simple, clean and cutthroat. And it’s how we’ve assembled Best of San Antonio 2016.

Beyond this page, you’ll find the burgers, parks, politicos and bookstores that San Antonians liked most this year. There are some upsets, some old favorites and a changing of the guard or two (flip to “Best Spur” to feel both jubilantly optimistic and perhaps a tad weepily nostalgic).

This book is an intrinsically collaborative effort, both in the creation of its content and its production. It would not exist without the opinions of all of you who weighed in with close to a half million votes, nor without the San Antonio Current staff’s planning, fact-checking, writing, designing, editing, editing and editing.

A note on our methodology: There were two rounds of voting this year — one open nomination period and then a vote on the top five nominees. To be eligible, winners had to be headquartered in Texas — a rule that paved the way for establishments such as Wingstop (“Best Wings,” based in Dallas) and Half Price Books (“Best Discount Store,” also from Dallas) to top their respective categories.

But even though some non-SA-based businesses have carpetbagged the rankings, their victories reflect the will of the city’s people (with the exception of the carefully selected critic’s picks sprinkled throughout the book). And while we remind folks of that every year, there’s still a steady flow of feedback along the lines of: “I can’t believe the Current picked X restaurant! Have they even been to Y restaurant in my neighborhood? Dang ol’ BOSA is rigged, man.”

We have only one response to that: vote next year. Vote early, vote often.

Mobilize the click-capable masses to cast votes for Best Whatever. Tell us what you think is best about our city. Majority rules.

Love, The Staff of the San Antonio Current

14 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

©2016 SFNTC (2)

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sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 4/7/16 2:12 15 PM

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WANT TO EARN HOURS

THIS SUMMER? HERE ARE SOME TIPS: DO

DON’T

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Let required courses get in the way of progress.

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Pay more for the same education.

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F O O D + D R I N K JOSH HUSKIN

• Bakery Lorraine

FOOD + DRINK H = CRITIC’S PICK

BAKERY/DESSERT WINNER: Bakery Lorraine 306 Pearl Pkwy., Suite 110 (210) 862-5582 • bakerylorraine.com > Bakery Lorraine introduced SA to a new age of classy baking at their previous cottage location on Grayson Street. With the move to Pearl, the options have only increased — without any of the potential slip in quality that such a shift might imply. Multi-colored macarons still beguile, especially in unexpected flavors like Earl Grey tea

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and dark chocolate cassis. If you get there early enough (and who says you can’t have full-on dessert at 9 a.m.), there are exotic muffins, classic pains au chocolat and not-your-toaster’snormal pop tarts to fall in love with.

Cookies (sorry, we can’t resist) are good at all hours. And bread pudding can be had in both sweet and savory versions. Get there early for desserts such as the raspberry lemon cake and a carrot cake with both lighter body and frosting that’s not merely cloying cream cheese. Tarts will be gone early on, too, but order ahead for your next swell soirée. Your guests will swoon in appreciation.

3. La Popular Bakery Multiple locations

BAKERY 2. La Boulangerie 207 Broadway (210) 639-3165 • laboulangeriesa.com

> They might have a little competition with the Smoothie King right next door but things are hopping at Local Coffee’s newest

DESSERT 2. Bird Bakery 5912 Broadway • (210) 804-2473 birdbakery.com 3. Cake Crumbs 1218 W. Bitters Road • (210) 906-3783 cakecrumbssa.com

COFFEE SHOP WINNER: Local Coffee Multiple locations localcoffeesa.com

location in the Medical Center at 7338 Louis Pasteur Drive, Suite 204, after opening only two months ago (there are also stores at the Pearl, Alamo Heights and Stone Oak Parkway). And when we say hopping, we mean it in a lactosefree macchiato kind of way.

F O O D + D R I N K Minimal in style with a hip ambiance that finds most patrons plugged into their laptops, Local Coffee has become the go-to place for those anti-Starbucks drinkers who aren’t impressed with caramel drizzle.

Instead, Local prides itself on serving coffee from Merit Roasting Co. and tasty treats via Bakery Lorraine. Their drink menu is simple and easy to maneuver: cortados, cappuccinos, lattes, macchiatos, espressos, Americanos and affogatos are a few of the choices.

Not a morning person? The organic chai with Mill-King milk will change that forever.

raspberry jam. It’s dipped in egg, fried, dusted with powdered sugar and served on ciabatta bread. Their signature sandwich is The Hottie, a Hot Cheetos fried chicken sandwich. Recently, they started serving burgers, which include 80/20 ground chuck, caramelized red onions, Gouda cheese and arugula on a Central Market bun. “It’s a damn good burger,” Gabriel told the Current. “I think our customers like us because we hustle and put our heart into it. It doesn’t hurt that we put out a good product.”

2. The Fairview 3428 N. St. Mary’s St. (210) 731-8009 • thefairviewsatx. com

3. Theory Coffee Company 2347 Nacogdoches Road (512) 507-3025 • theorycoffee.com

3. TIE: Barrio Barista 3735 Culebra Road • (210) 519-5403 barriobarista.wix.com/barriobarista Rosella Coffee Co. 203 E. Jones Ave., Suite 101 (210) 277-8574 • rosellacoffee.com

2. Taquitos El Guero 3016 W. Commerce St. • (210) 431-5468

coincidentally, that’s the business model of Jon and Stacie Rowe, owners of the Station Café and Filling Station Taproom. Building up from the tiny space that now houses their taproom to the 10-times-as-big building next door that serves as the single location of the open-Mondaythrough-Friday-only restaurant, the couple bucks the typical marketing trends. Seems to be working.

SANDWICHES

2. W. D. Deli 3123 Broadway • (210) 828-2322 wddeli.com

WINNER: The Station Café 108 King William St. • (210) 444-2200 thestationsa.com

3. Zito’s Deli Multiple locations • zitosdeli.net

> Work 16-hour days, five days a week, for a year or two. Spend decades in kitchens and the front of house, picking up exactly what and what not to do. Pour your heart, soul and family’s future into a 300-square-foot sandwich shop, wherein everything from the bread to the salad dressing, exquisite, signature sauces and desserts are all made from scratch by employees who you work right alongside, invite into your home and call your friends.

Do all of this and you, too, may find yourself the owner of a perpetually successful restaurant. Not

FOOD TRUCK WINNER: The Fridge-SA 609 S. Alamo St. • (210) 473-0916 facebook.com/thefridgesa

PLACE TO DRINK IN THE MORNING

> Owners Eva and Gabriel Cardenas celebrated their food truck’s third anniversary this month. Located at the Alamo Street Eat Bar on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays (and “bouncing around” the Downtown area all week, too), The Fridge features grilled paninis, corndogs and a host of sandwiches, a menu item Gabriel considers “universal.” The Monty Burns contains smoked ham, Gouda cheese, mayo, Dijon mustard and jalapeño

WINNER: Candlelight Coffee House 3011 N. St. Mary’s St. • (210) 738-0099 candlelightsa.com 2. Highlander Bar & Grill 5562 Fredericksburg Road (210) 340-4577 highlanderbarandgrill.com 3. Cobalt Club 2022 McCullough Ave.

ICE CREAM WINNER: Lick Honest Ice Creams 312 Pearl Pkwy., Suite 2101 (210) 314-8166 • ilikelick.com 2. Amy’s Ice Creams 255 E. Basse Road • (210) 832-8886 amysicecreams.com 3. The House, Boozy Ice Cream and Brews 732 S. Alamo St. • (210) 919-3553 facebook.com/thehousesa

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, g n i l r a d h s o g y m h O

n w o t h t u Sosooooo is ool! c MARK GREENBERG

BITE R E S TA U R A N T

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F O O D + D R I N K

WINNER: Chamoy City Limits Locations vary • (210) 744-0000 chamoycitylimits.com > Raspas are as much a part of San Antonio as the Alamo and the Spurs.

They’re what we do. And right now, nobody is doing them better than the rock stars behind the innovative Chamoy City Limits food truck. The talented raspa artists handcraft chili pepper syrups, pickled fruits MARK GREENBERG

and candied peppers and pile them atop mountainous, pillowy clouds of shaved ice. Oh, and yes, they make their own chamoy: the delicious sweet, sour, spicy, salty ambrosia made up of pickled fruits, sugared chili peppers — both pureed and as whole fruit. Their rotating menu of flavors includes the Grape Invader, the Shark Bite, the Picadilly Circus and the Anaconda. If Willy Wonka made raspas and drove a food truck, this is what it would be like. You can typically find these concoctions made by hand and made with love at Lion’s Field on Broadway or at O.P. Schnabel Park. Follow them on Facebook for daily whereabouts.

•

Rosario’s Mexican Café y Cantina

CASEY HOWELL

RASPAS

2. Big Daddy’s Eats and Treats Multiple locations facebook.com/bigdaddyseatstreats 3. Las Nieves Fruit Cups & More Multiple locations lasnievesfruitcupssa.com

MEXICAN/SALSA WINNER: Rosario’s Mexican Café y Cantina Multiple locations • rosariossa.com > Yes, we could inhale Rosario’s roasty salsa with a straw, no chips required. Fortunately, this is a flexible condiment, useful as an essential accompaniment to fajita nachos, as a mantle over the trio of gorditas with picadillo, chicken and refried beans and cheese, drizzled into an already flavorful sopa de

tortilla and slathered all over any of the parrillas, from tripe to carnitas de puerco. OK, we probably wouldn’t add it to the rajas de chile poblano.

Maybe not to chicken in an already emphatic chipotle sauce, or to the enchiladas de mole — there have to be some limits. We also tend to take our fried shishito peppers straight and like to savor the delicacy of the paquetes de jicama y camaron without additional adulteration. Ditto with the chile relleno stuffed with quinoa and veggies, topped with pan-seared cauliflower and tomatochipotle sauce. But after a few of the house’s better-than-your-averageoso margaritas, who knows where

· experience pearl ·

that salsa might end up.

MEXICAN 2. La Gloria Multiple locations chefjohnnyhernandez.com/lagloria 3. Paloma Blanca 5800 Broadway • (210) 822-6151 palomablanca.net SALSA 2. Chuy’s Multiple locations • chuys.com 3. Las Palapas Multiple locations facebook.com/mylaspalapas

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Rodriguez Butcher Supply Co.

FOOD & KITCHEN EQUIPMENT

It Begins with the Perfect Cut.

Bring in this ad and receive 20% off one item. Expires 12/31/16

A 4 G E N E R AT I O N T X C O M P A N Y • M O N - F R I 8 A - 5 P | 1 7 1 5 W C O M M E R C E S T • ( 2 1 0 ) 2 2 3 - 6 1 3 1 24 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

F O O D + D R I N K

FA R M S TA N D Indoor Farmers Market

Sustainable • Organic • Local

food, art, & more Southtown • 1423 S Presa • 210.702.0898

MENUDO/PAN DULCE WINNER: Mi Tierra Café & Bakery 218 Produce Row • (210) 225-1262 mitierracafe.com > Menudo is many things to many people — including both scary to the newbie and essential after an evening of hard drinkin’. This brick-red and brothy norteño stew is also good at any time, day or night, which makes always-open Mi Tierra the perfect place to either dispel demons or convert a non-believer into the personhood of honeycomb tripe and calf’s foot. Add as many of the traditional condiments (chopped onion, chile, lemon wedges … ) as the bowl will stand, roll up a tortilla (we’d take corn, but flour’s fine, too), take a deep breath to appreciate the aroma, and have at it.

This may not be a pretty bowl, so forget the ‘gramming, but it’s the essence of earthy and elemental.

There are perfectly justifiable reasons that Mi Tierra perennially wins best pan dulce: The selection is huge, the offerings are classic, the empanadas de camote are addictive and the inevitable line seems to move swiftly. First-timers should just let their eyes be their guide and order at least one of anything that

appeals — including pan de huevo in all of its topping colors (nevermind that the taste doesn’t change that much). Cuernos, the Mexican version of croissants, are a must, with or without sugar; semita de anis is delicately perfumed with the namesake seed; we can’t resist the crumbly, shortbread polvorones; and, somehow, despite their tooth-aching potential, a few pecan pralines, wedges of candied pumpkin and even the tri-color banderilla de coco manage to make it into the bag. If you’re lucky, some second-hand mariachi music will accompany the purchase totally gratis.

MENUDO 2. Tellez Tamales & Barbacoa Multiple locations 3. Las Palapas Multiple locations facebook.com/mylaspalapas

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PAN DULCE 2. La Popular Bakery Multiple locations 3. La Panaderia 8305 Broadway • (210) 375-6746 lapanaderia.com

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n e p O 7 / 4 2

HOME OF THE 3lb. cinnamon roll!

918 N Main Ave • San Antonio, TX 78212 210.222.9422 • LulusBakeryandCafe.com

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F O O D + D R I N K SARAH FLOOD-BAUMANN

DIEGO ENRIQUEZ

BURGER WINNER: Chris Madrid’s 1900 Blanco Road • (210) 735-3552 chrismadrids.com 2. Whataburger Multiple locations • whataburger.com 3. Chester’s Hamburger Co. Multiple locations

FRENCH FRIES WINNER: Whataburger Multiple locations • whataburger.com 2. Wingstop Multiple locations • wingstop.com 3. The Luxury 103 E. Jones St. • (210) 354-2274

PIZZA WINNER: Dough Pizzeria Napoletana 6989 Blanco Road • (210) 979-6565 doughpizzeria.com > We have finally gotten over the fact that Dough did Dallas an undeserved favor by opening an outlet there and have moved on to simply appreciating the virtues of the original location.

Education in the art of pizza-making, for example: Kids are given a floury ball of dough to stretch out into rough pie form; it’s then taken back and topped with tomato sauce and cheese and baked just for them. Gratis. Grownups will have to content themselves with the pro pizzaiolo’s Pork Love and its multiple porcine parts, the house-made sausage model with unexpectedly effective red grapes, or the pie with n’duja, the spreadable Calabrian sausage, and burrata. Cichetti (appetizers) should precede any pizza, emphasis on the house-pulled mozzarella and fior

di latte burrata filled with, oh, black truffle flakes and served with balsamic reduction. A small cichetti selection can be had at happy hour when they are half price, as are all glasses of wine from the impressive, all-Italian list.

2. Luciano Restaurants Multiple locations lucianorestaurants.com 3. Stella Public House 1414 S. Alamo St. • (210) 277-7047 stellapublichouse.com

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s l e z et r P & ay s t Pin Mond d l o s f y o a w d T Tues

Pet Friend ly Patio, Damn Goo d Pizza, Killer Cr aft Brew selection & Very Gluten-Fr ee/Veggie friendly!

115 North Loop 1604 East • (210) 370-9219 • mellowmushroom.com | HOURS: Sunday-Thursday 11am-10pm | Friday-Saturday 11am-11pm

Retail - Institutional - specialty blends 8oz - 300lbs or more

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F O O D + D R I N K

•

Il Sogno

H ITALIAN TIE: Il Sogno 200 E. Grayson St. • (210) 223-3900 Sorrento Pizza and Restaurant 5146 Broadway • (210) 824-0055 sorrentopizzeria.com > San Antonio, you sly dog. Turns out, you want to have your cake and eat it too. You want refined squid ink risotto on china, and you want old-school lasagna on a vinyl tablecloth. That’s why we chose both Il Sogno and Sorrento as the best Italian in the city. Who can blame us for loving both the high brow and the low? Andrew Weissman’s Il Sogno is where you go to rub elbows with some of San Antonio’s finest and eat housemade pastas, charcuterie and delectable desserts. Anna Ciccone’s Sorrento is where you can nosh on a damn fine

vegetable pizza and all of the old-school pastas with meat and cheese in them.

In some ways, these restaurants couldn’t be more different. Andrew Weissman is CIA-trained and a multiple James Beard Award nominee. The late Gino Ciccone immigrated from Italy to the United States and worked as an unheralded chef before coming to San Antonio. Il Sogno is housed in the evergrowing Pearl Brewery, has a wall of wine, a charcuterie browsing station and white tablecloths. Sorrento is in a strip center on Broadway between a liquor store and a bar and has metal chairs and a whiteboard full of daily specials.

But both are fiercely beloved and patronized by their respective clientele.

Regulars at both restaurants are recognized and greeted warmly by staff.

And those of us who follow the food scene in San Antonio agree that we love them both equally. If you’ll excuse us, we’re going to go stuff our faces now.

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T o r ta s ,

croissants,

coffee,

churros

Come in and try our torta ahogada.

2211

NW

M i l i ta ry

30 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

Hwy

|

(210)

209-3463

|

malinalli.us

F O O D + D R I N K

WINGS WINNER: Wingstop Multiple locations wingstop.com > The filter we run most of our life decisions through, big or small, is a simple one: Will this choice make us more or less like Kawhi Leonard?

As it pertains to food, this is simple to answer: If you’re not eating as much Wingstop as possible, then your Leonard Levels are just too low.

Leonard, despite his $94-million contract, still frets about running out of coupons for free mango habanero wings at the restaurant, according to a Sports Illustrated profile. That tells you all you need to know about the chain, which has over 20 locations in the San Antonio area. The menu is vast (mostly classic wing flavors, including garlic parmesan, teriyaki and atomic) but not overwhelming. Every flavor is available in classic, or boneless, wings or crispy

tenders. Order between eight and 100 wings (online or in-store, to eat there or to go). Kawhi would be proud.

Di Frabo Offers Delivery • To-Go Orders • Catering • Meeting Room • Gift Cards • Sunday Brunch 22211 IH-10 West Suite 1101 - Dominion Ridge Shopping Center • San Antonio, TX 78257 ph. 210.272.0758 - www.difrabo.com

2. Wing Daddy’s Sauce House Multiple locations wingdaddysusa.com 3. Hot Joy 1014 S. Alamo St. • (210) 368-9324 hotjoysa.com

BARBECUE WINNER: Rudy’s Country Store & Bar-B-Q Multiple locations rudysbbq.com 2. Two Bros. BBQ Market 12656 West Ave. • (210) 496-0222 twobrosbbqmarket.com 3. Bill Miller Bar-B-Q Multiple locations billmillerbbq.com

sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 31

F O O D + D R I N K BRYAN RINDFUSS

H WINE LIST WINNER: Bliss 926 S. Presa St. • (210) 225-2547 foodisbliss.com > Beyond the obvious draw of solid New American cuisine served in a stylishly restored Southtown filling station, chef Mark Bliss’ namesake restaurant boasts one of the city’s most unique and wide-ranging wine lists.

Curated by manager/maître d’ Daria Kossowska — who’s originally from Poland and studied at the American Sommelier Association in New York — the selection is sourced from up to nine different distributors and represents wine-producing regions across the globe. Approachable, eclectic and periodically updated with unusual new finds, the Bliss list runs the gamut from $8 and $9 glasses (an Italian rosé and Spanish rioja among them) to bottles that span from $31 (for a 2013 Nortico Alvarinho from Portugal) to $210 (for a 2012 Napa cab out of Stag’s Leap Wine Cellars). Heavy hitters like Opus One ($475) and Cristal ($440) top a small reserve list focusing on European and California wines. Thanks to its handy Le Verre de Vin Tower (a device that extracts air from bottles of still wines and injects CO2 into bottles of bubbly),

•

Bliss manager/maître d’ Daria Kossowska

the restaurant can serve higher-end offerings by the glass, including Veuve Clicquot for $26 and a Penfolds Bin 407 for $25. In keeping with Bliss’ relaxed approach to fine dining, the snug bar area and low-key patio set the stage for sipping wines and sampling new things.

As Kossowska puts it, “Glasses of wine are like grandma’s cookies, you can never have just one.”

BRUNCH WINNER: Candlelight Coffee House 3011 N. St. Mary’s St. • (210) 738-0099 candlelightsa.com 2. Feast 1024 S. Alamo St. • (210) 354-1024 feastsa.com 3. The Fairview 3428 N. St. Mary’s St. • (210) 731-8009 thefairviewsatx.com

JUICE SHOP WINNER: Revolucion Coffee + Juice Multiple locations • revolucionsa.com

• Candlelight Coffee House

32 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

> With two locations up and running (in Alamo Heights and Southtown) and one more on the way (in Hemisfair Park later this year), San Antonio’s own Revolucion Coffee + Juice is steadily expanding into a healthy little empire.

Launched by Manny and Angie Carral, the company prides itself on having introduced the Alamo City to coldpressed juice and a totally vegetarian take on coffee culture. Revolucion won us over with concoctions like Mean Green (an easy-drinking blend of cucumber, celery, kale, lemon, ginger and apple) and The Cure (a hangoverhelping mix of carrot, apple, beet, lemon and ginger) but sealed the deal with signature honey lavender lattes (try it with the house-made almond milk), insanely addictive acai and pitaya bowls (go for for the protein-packed peanut butter variety) and a laptop-friendly atmosphere that’s both laid-back and focused — with an eclectic playlist to boot.

2. Urth Juice Bar Multiple locations • urthjuicebar.com 3. Farm to Juice 18730 Stone Oak Pkwy., Suite 100 (210) 332-5853 • farmtojuice.net

sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 33

F O O D + D R I N K

Gelato,

Ice cream’s sexy Italian Brother

Lincoln Heights 999 E Basse Rd, Ste 197, San Antonio, TX 78209 | Sun - Thurs 11am -10pm | Fri & Sat 11am - 11pm

H RESTAURANT TO

TAKE TOURISTS

WINNER: Two Bros BBQ Market 12656 West Ave. • (210) 496-0222 twobrosbbqmarket.com > Let’s be real — barbecue in San Antonio is not hard to come by. But barbecue that is consistently juicy, mouth-watering, perfectly seasoned and all the other good things barbecue should be, well, now, that’s a different story. Two Bros BBQ Market, opened by brothers Jason and Jake Dady in 2008, serves up barbecue family style, putting it in the top spot to take someone who’s visiting the Alamo City. Pit Master Laura Loomis won’t disappoint.

The restaurant’s menu consists of the classics: brisket, pulled pork and turkey, as well as Two Bros’ famous cherry-glazed baby back ribs, a crowd

BETWEEN 8A-2P | 210.737.8646

521 E Woodlawn Ave. SA, TX 78212 34 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

pleaser your guests will surely enjoy.

With smoked stuffed jalapeños and deep fried mozzarella “logs,” this is not a place to skip out on the sides.

And let’s not forget the deep fried strawberry pie or purple cow grape soda float for dessert.

The barbecue joint’s shaded patio is spacious and great for large parties with a playground and sandbox for the kiddos. Enjoy live music on the weekends, or challenge your friends to a bocce ball match. Or, if you just wanna hang out, you can do that, too. A second location is in the works, but, until then, get there early because “when it’s gone ... it’s gone.” Really. Two Bros has been known to sell out, so you’ll want to be the first in line.

This place has everything you need to make your guests happy, so if you’re not taking them to Two Bros, you’re not showing them what SA barbecue is all about.

Smokey Mo’s Bar-B-Q

Spring Branch/Bulverde (830) 438-8330 19851 Hwy 46 W (Just east of 281 on Hwy 46)

San Antonio • (210) 481-3835 20210 Stone Oak Pkwy (near Stone Oak & Evans) San Antonio • (210) 494-9090 22106 Bulverde Rd (Corner of Evans & Bulverde)

We Cater! No Order is too big!

Brisket - Turkey - Sausage Chicken - Pork Loin - Ribs - Sides

Boerne • (830) 331-2633 1685 River Road (The Ranch at Cibolo Creek)

www.SmokeyMosBBQ.com

Op Lat en e

Pizza • Wings • Pasta Subs • Calzones

Beer coming soon!

We deli ver: Downtown, Alamo Heights, Monte Vista, King William, Olmos Park, and airport hotels

Pizza by the sli ce!

Buy 1 larg e get 1 free with pick up. sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 35

TEXAS STYLE BURGERS. 1423 MCCULLOUGH AVE. | 210.226.7556

“HANDCRAFTED BBQ SINCE 1984”

2627 PLEASANTON RD, SA, TX • 210-921-2745 • BBSMOKEHOUSE.COM 36 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

F O O D + D R I N K

TEXAN SPORTS BAR T M TO MIDNIGH A 11 .

S R U H T .

SUN - 1AM FRI. - SAT. 11AM UN 11AM-3PM S & .

T A S : H C N BRU -MIDNIGHT M P 10 R U H -T N Y HOUR: SU REVERSE HAPP

> Of course, we head straight for the stewed chicken feet in black bean sauce.

Kidding. But we do tend to fall for the beef tripe steamed in ginger, the taro root cake with pork, dried shrimp and rice flour, and the shrimp sui mai stuffed into a wheat flour skin.

All of these are from Golden Wok’s exemplary dim sum selection, and they’re just teasers on a menu that goes from familiar spare ribs to rice noodle sheets, enveloping your choice of shrimp, pork or beef. The regular menu

Pm - 7Pm 3 y a d y r e v E r u Happy Ho Items Half Off Select er 10Pm Off Aft All Pizzas 50% 11Am - 7Pm un Brunch Sat & S ly Patio Pet Friend

2. Sichuan House 3505 Wurzbach Road, Suite 102 (210) 509-9999 facebook.com/sichuaneats 3. Ding How Chinese Restaurant 4531 NW Loop 410 • (210) 549-8881 dinghowsa.com

Pkwy

WINNER: Golden Wok Multiple locations • golden-wok.com

could never hope to be quite as exotic as the contents of a dim sum cart, but the Chef Specialties column does give the culinary adventurer a few good things to chew on, including the honeyroasted Peking duck with Chinese crepes and the basil chicken that also adds scallops to the mix. A variety of teas, from intense oolong to delicate longjing, will please the aficionado. This is not your auntie’s iced Lipton, y’all.

Stone Oak

CHINESE FOOD

1604

E Sontera Blvd

Buckles n’ Bun’s Texan Sports Bar

281

Red

land

Rd

18740 Stone Oak Pkwy, 78258 (210) 233-1430 BUCKLESNBUNS.COM sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 37

210 .86 2 . 55 8 2 www.BAKERYLORRAINE.com

306 Pearl Parkway, Suite 110 38 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

F O O D + D R I N K

BREAKFAST TACOS WINNER: Rolando’s Super Tacos Multiple locations rolandossupertacos.com > Remind us, did Austin finally admit they didn’t invent the breakfast taco or was their forfeit at the Breakfast Taco throw-down at SXSW Interactive in March their way of waving the white napkin? Either way, if they’re still being pinche about it, all San Antonio has to do is send Rolando and his Super Tacos up I-35 to flex their tortilla muscles.

They’re that intimidating! If you’ve never been to Rolando’s (919 W. Hildebrand Ave. or 93 Shasta Ave. near SW Military), make sure you fast for a couple of days before heading there for breakfast one morning. OK, maybe not a couple of days, but don’t try to be all badass and order five papa and huevo tacos for yourself just because you can eat five papa and huevo tacos from any other taqueria. They’re called Super Tacos for a reason, the main being that they’re as big as a newborn. Nom, nom.

TAMALES/BARBACOA

2. Bill Miller Bar-B-Q Multiple locations billmillerbbq.com

WINNER: Tellez Tamales & Barbacoa Multiple locations

3. Las Palapas Multiple locations facebook.com/mylaspalapas

> With two locations in San Antonio (6501 Bandera Road and 1737 S. General McMullen Drive), Tellez has become a culinary staple for those

locals not too worried about getting the meat sweats when they’re really aching for some good eatin’. Whether you’re loading up on a few dozen jalapeño pork tamales for the holidays or waking up early on Sunday morning to buy the familia a couple of pounds of delectable cow head (don’t forget the onions and cilantro, please), Tellez has you covered. You know you have a good product when you show up at 5 a.m. on Christmas Eve and the line is wrapped around the building twice.

These are the kind of tamales that make your grandma jealous. Same for the barbacoa. Fill those corn and flour tortillas up to your heart’s content and commence devouring. All we ask is that you invite us over next time. We’ll bring the Big Red.

3. Ruben’s Homemade Tamales 1807 Rigsby Ave. • (210) 337-0025 lasamericaslatinmarket.com

TAMALES 2. Delicious Tamales Multiple locations delicioustamales.com

3. Mama Margie’s Multiple locations mamamargies.com

BARBACOA 2. Rio’s Barbacoa Multiple locations 3. H-E-B Headquarters Multiple locations • heb.com

NACHOS WINNER: Chacho’s Multiple locations • chachos.com 2. Chris Madrid’s 1900 Blanco Road • (210) 735-3552 chrismadrids.com

sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 39

TWO BROS. BBQ MARKET TEXAS MONTHLY TOP 50 BBQ JOINTS

B&D ICE HOUSE SOUTHTOWN BBQ

40 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

SHUCK SHACK

OYSTERS & SUCH ON GRAYSON ST.

TRE TRATTORIA

TUSCAN ITALIAN IN ALAMO HEIGHTS

TRE ENOTECA

ITALIAN AT ARTISANS ALLEY

THE DUK TRUCK

AVAILABLE FOR CATERING

WINE ENTHUSIAST RATINGS SCORE OUT OF 100 POINTS

D FTE A R DC in HAN

S A X TE

PTS

TITO_PR2016_L034.indd 1

sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 41 4/12/16 9:59 AM

Open 7 Days a Week

Authentic Thai Cuisine

Cafe & Hookah A COLORFUL BLEND OF MIDDLE EASTERN & CONTEMPORARY AMBIENCE

Best Thaoiniino San Ant

THANK YOU, San tiAnngtfoornio us! for vo

226 W Bitters Rd #124 • (210) 545-3354 • saebthainoodlesa.com

A delightful mix OF TRADITIONAL, LOCAL-STYLE, AND CONTEMPORARY HAWAIIAN FOOD.

Dine in, Take Out ,Catering, and hawaiian polynesian entertainment

1151 Harry Wurzbach Rd, SA, TX • (210) 822-9933 • www.alohasanantonio.com

9329 WURZBACH RD #101 (210) 558-9800 42 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

2202 Broadway St, San Antonio, TX 78215 • (210) 929-3678

F O O D + D R I N K DAVID RANGEL

H CHARCUTERIE BOARD WINNER: Cured 306 Pearl Pkwy., Suite 101 (210) 314-3929 • curedatpearl.com > There’s a lot to love about Cured — the historic venue, the fine dining but relaxed level of service, the varied and seasonal menu, the thoughtful wine list and Cicerone-picked beer selection are all definitely part of what makes dining here, in the hands of James Beard Awards Foundation finalist Steve McHugh and his staff, an experience. But that experience wouldn’t be complete without a spread of meats, pickles and jams prepared by the kitchen and cured anywhere from 30 days to 12 months. These perfectly plated platters — available in your choice of three, six or nine

meats at $18, $26 and $34, respectively — are a must-have during any visit.

Choose from more than 15 options (this obviously means you’ll have to come back to try all of them at least once more) including apple jalapeño pork rilletes, currywurst, smoked duck ham or 60-day Coppa, or let your server decide for you. Though it means letting go of any ounce of control you may want with regard to the board, the wave of relief/joy that washes over you once your charcuterie hits the table is palpable. Our latest excursion featured the (for a small up-charge) fierce lamb culatello, subtle pork jowl and the always-heavenly chicken liver mousse.

Though the meats stand tall (or hang from the see-through cooler, rather) all on their own, the house-made pickles, jams, jellies and thin Brewer’s Crackers all help make this the best charcuterie board in San Antonio, regardless of who’s choosing the meats.

sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 43

NO COVER

LIVE

COUNTRY MUSIC

TEX-MEX

BBQ

A stone’s throw from the Alamo.

TEXAS STYLE

PATIO

HOURS: WED & THURS: 3PM – 11PM | FRI-SUN: 11AM-1AM

Puerto Rican Grill Y tapas LUNCH - DINNER - SUNDAY BRUNCH Phone: 210-314-3111 210-577-8774 2603 SE MILITARY DR #106 SAN ANTONIO,TX 78223 SUNDAY BRUNCH 12PM-2PM HAPPY HOUR 3-7PM TUE-FRI

LUNAROSATAPA S.COM 44 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

“Stop in for a cup of Joe, walk out a trained barista.”

CYCLO COFFEE & BARISTA ACADEMY

2211 NW Military Hwy #114, SA, TX 78213 | 210.370.2449 ccbaristaacademy.com

F O O D + D R I N K LANE PITTARD

GOT DWI, DUI? SATX: (210)394-3833 ATX: (512)278-0935

420dude.com DWIdude.com

2611 SE MILITARY DR SUITE 108 SA, TX 78223

(210) 333-4329

! h h h h h h h Sh H RESTAURANT FOR SPECIAL DIETS WINNER: Pharm Table Restaurant 106 Auditorium Circle • (210) 802-1860 pharmtable.com > Leave any inhibitions at the door when entering the Radius Building.

No, this won’t look like your typical restaurant, and that’s a good thing.

Instead, Pharm Table adds rustic tables and homey touches to a decidedly funky space that serves as the near-perfect ambience for chef Elizabeth Johnson’s foray into Ayurvedic healing and feeding. Now, before you turn up your nose, have a look at the menu.

Even most well-versed foodies will struggle to identify half of the items listed. Johnson and her tiny staff use as many local ingredients as possible,

while trying to replicate dishes and flavors found in the world’s blue zones, or areas where people tend to live longest. You won’t find dairy, sugar or gluten in any of the starters, soups, salads, combos, plates or bowls, but you will find new ways to enjoy beets, jicama, carrots and more, served using techniques you might never have imagined. The kitchen is essentially vegan (Pharm Table uses only nut milks for creamy dressings and desserts), but this is Texas and Johnson knows animal proteins will keep her growing clientele sated. Stop in for a kitcheri bowl of sprouted rice, lentils and spices commonly used in Indian and South Asian cooking or load up on roasted veggie tacos on corn tortillas with carrot salsa, but not before noshing on the (optional and $2) Ayurvedic meal starter of pickled ginger, lemon juice, raw honey, mineral salt and fresh herbs. You’ll be glad you did.

Available for pickup IN San antonio!

Contact us: 830-391-4780

Our Smoothies will leave you sPEACHless.

5238 De Zavala rd. #122 • 315 E. Commerce st #102 888-935-2412 • kevasmoothie.com

Fresh Pastries

Free Coffee Breakfast & Lunch Croissants

Daily Breads

8055 West Ave, Suite 107 • SA, Tx | hours: 7am-6pm 210.259.8359 sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 45

Free glass of Prosecco when you mention THE CURRENT!

THE BEST HAPPY HOUR IN SAN ANTONIO Monday - Friday: 4-6

$3 Craft Beers on the Patio $5 Specialty Cocktails & Select Tapas $5 Burger Tuesdays

407.491.9227 • 709 South Alamo

SUSHI

HAPPY HOUR TUE & THUR: 5 - 6PM LUNCH 11am-2:30pm DINNER 5-10pm

SATURDAY 5-10pm CLOSED SUNDAY

Voted 2013 BEST SUSHI

by SA Current Readers 46 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

Find Us On

or at godaisushi.com

11203 WEST AVENUE 78213 • 210.348.6781

sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 47

Restaurant

1146 AUSTIN HIGHWAY SAN ANTONIO, TX 78209 | 210.829.7345 | TONGSTHAI.COM

THE

MAGNOLIA

PANCAKE HAUS Everybody eats when they come to our HAUS!

10333 Huebner Road • 496-0828 | 606 Embassy Oaks Suite 100 • 496-0828 | magnoliapacakehaus.com 48 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

F O O D + D R I N K MICHAEL MARKS

H PUFFY TACO WINNER: Ray’s Drive Inn 822 SW 19th St. • (210) 432-7171 raysdriveinn.net > It’s been an emotional six months for everyone at Ray’s Drive Inn. Last October, patriarch Arturo H. Lopez, the man behind the puffy taco, passed away. Since then, his daughter Maria “Lali” Rambo, and son, John Louis Lopez have been running things at the West Side eatery. Rambo says they’re doing it to honor their father.

“We want to keep it going because it’s part of the culture and is my father’s legacy,” she said. “There is also a lot of nostalgia here. I always hear people saying, ‘I used to come here when I was little.’” This year, the restaurant celebrates its 60th anniversary in San Antonio. While Ray’s features a nice assortment of menu items, it’s definitely the puffy tacos that keep patrons coming back for more. These stuffed pockets of deep-fried tortilla heaven can be packed with beef, chicken, carne guisada, fajita, beans, avocado or fish, not to mention all the fixings like lettuce, tomato and jalapeños. It’s safe to say Austin won’t be trying to steal this taco from San

Antonio anytime soon. Just as the restaurant’s neon sign proclaims, Ray’s is the “home of the original puffy taco.” And what better way to eat some Tex-Mex comfort food than listening to a little Sunny and the Sunliners on the jukebox and drinking some freshly squeezed lemonade?

Call us old fashioned, but we even love the fact that Ray’s doesn’t accept debt/ credit cards. You don’t got cash? You ain’t eating!

STEAKHOUSE WINNER: Chama Gaúcha Brazilian Steakhouse 18318 Sonterra Pl. • (210) 564-9400 chamagaucha.com 2. Bohanan’s Prime Steaks and Seafood 219 E. Houston St. • (210) 472-2600 bohanans.com 3. The Barn Door Restaurant 8400 N. New Braunfels Ave. (210) 824-0116

INDIAN

and take-out is available for those on the run.

WINNER: India Palace 8474 Fredericksburg Road (210) 692-5262 indiapalacesanantonio.com

2. Simi’s India Cuisine 4535 Fredericksburg Road, Suite 109 (210) 737-3166 simisindiacuisine.com

> When going to India Palace, we recommend that you wear your stretchy pants and a loose-fitting top because you’re going to leave with the biggest food baby imaginable. Those who’ve eaten there know exactly what we mean, and those who haven’t been yet will quickly learn that there are two ways to dine at India Palace — and the correct way is the buffet. Laid out in trays full of perfection, you’ll find the staples: tikka masala, chicken curry, saag paneer and lamb korma, among many other options. Served up with basmati rice and a samosa, you just might find yourself at the Palace all evening. You’ll regret it if you skip out on dessert (try the Mango Malwa), so be sure to save some room, though it won’t be easy. The menu is vegetarian friendly

3. India Oven 1031 Patricia Drive • (210) 366-1030 indiaoven.biz

PLACE TO TAKE THE FAMILY WINNER: The Cove 606 W. Cypress St. • (210) 227-2683 thecove.us 2. Big’z Burger Joint Multiple locations bigz-burgerjoint.com 3. Cupcake Couture Multiple locations cupcakecouturebakeries.com

sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 49

You are why we exist.

Ethos strives to bring you the best the world has to offer in coffee.

9439 Bandera Rd., Sa,TX 78250, on Campus of City Church 210-523-9085 ext 2236 | Open Tuesday - Sunday 50 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

2600 commercial 210.921.0295

9806 Roosevelt 210.627.2710

2512 S. Hackberry 210.533.8883

7150 Whippoorwhil 210.648.0876 sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 51

handcrafted sweets made from scratch

French Macarons made daily

Chocolates Cakes & Fine Candy

by Chef Susana Mijares (210)545-2200 • 946 N. LOOP 1604 W. SUITE 145 CANYON CREEK (NEAR HOULIHAN’S RESTAURANT) 52 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

F O O D + D R I N K

A SAN ANTONIO DINING TRADITION SINCE 1933

R E S TA U R A N T & B A K E R Y sun.-wed.: 7a-9p | thurs. - sat: 7a-10p

Breakfast served All Day!

TRY OUR NEW:

TEXAS BISON BURGER PUEBLO BURGER HOT & SPICY TOSTADA BEAN BURGER CHICKEN & WAFFLES

Best Fried Chicken In San ANtonio!

Join us for Mother’s Day

Sunday, May 8th earlabelssa.com | 210.822.3358 1201 Austin Highway, Suite 175

•

Barbaro

PLACE TO TAKE A DATE WINNER: Barbaro 2720 McCullough Ave. • (210) 320-2261 barbarosanantonio.com 2. Fratello’s 2503 Broadway • (210) 444-0277 fratellosdeli.com

2. Mi Tierra Café y Panaderia 218 Produce Row • (210) 225-1262 mitierracafe.com 3. Jim’s Multiple locations jimsrestaurants.com

CHICKEN FRIED STEAK

3. Nectar Wine Bar 214 Broadway, Suite 103 • (210) 375-4082 nectarsa.com

WINNER: Lulu’s Bakery & Café 918 N. Main Ave. • (210) 224-5001 lulusbakeryandcafe.com

LATE NIGHT PLACE TO EAT

2. DeWese’s Tip Top Cafe Multiple locations dewesestiptopcafe.com

WINNER: Whataburger Multiple locations whataburger.com

3. Good Time Charlie’s 2922 Broadway • (210) 828-5392 gtcsatx.com

CATCH THE TRIPOLIS EXPRESS FOOD TRUCK ALL AROUND TOWN.

Mediterranean Grill & Hookah Lounge

Taste the HEalthy.

Taste the Mediterranean

SUNDAY- THURSDAY 11AM–12AM | FRIDAY- SATURDAY 11AM- 2AM TRIPOLIS 302 VALLEY HI DR #105, SA, TX 78227 | 210-645-4450 FOLLOW US ON

sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 53

Chicago Bagel& Deli

If your bagel is not boiled, it’s just a roll with a hole.

e c n e r e ff i D e Taste Th

San Antonio’s Best Turkish Grill NOW SERVING BEER & WINE OPEN 11AM-10PM EVERYDAY

8507 McCullough #B13 • 210-399-1645 (LOCATED BEHIND NORTHSTAR MALL)

Dine-In • Carryout • Catering

Lunch Buffet

Support your local, longest-established, family-owned bagel shop

Monday- FridaY | 10:30am-1pm

SAN ANTONIO

Now accepting new wholesale accounts, please inquire for more information.

10918 Wurzbach Ste. 132 SA, TX 78230 | 210.691.2245 54 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

3938 S Zarzamora St.•San Antonio, Texas • 210.932.2500 • AlamoPizza.net

F O O D + D R I N K

•

Pho Kim Long

San Antonio's Best Foodservice Equipment and Supply Dealer!

SALES | SERVICE | LEASING

VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT

VIETNAMESE RESTAURANT

WINNER: Green Vegetarian Cuisine Multiple locations • eatatgreen.com

WINNER: Pho Kim Long 4230 McCullough Ave. • (210) 829-8021 facebook.com/phokimlongsanantonio

2. Sweet Yams 218 N. Cherry St. • (210) 229-9267 facebook.com/sweetyamsorganic 3. Señor Veggie 620 S. Presa St. • (210) 228-0073 senorveggie.us

THAI RESTAURANT WINNER: Thai Lao Orchid Multiple locations facebook.com/thailaoorchid

Visit our Showroom: 1126 S. St. Mary’s 210-354-0690 Mon-Fri 8am-5pm, Sat 9am-3pm

TACLB42776C

2. Pho Sure 741 W. Ashby Pl. • (210) 733-8473 3. Viva Pho 2114 NW Military Hwy. • (210) 525-8388

SEAFOOD WINNER: Sea Island Shrimp House Multiple locations shrimphouse.com

2. Thai Topaz Multiple locations • thaitopaz-sat.com

2. Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen 76 NE Loop 410 • (210) 340-7143 pappadeaux.com

3. Thai Dee 5307 Blanco Road • (210) 342-3622 thaideesa.com

3. El Bucanero Multiple locations bucanerosanantonio.com

House infused moonshine.

Weekend Brunch.

Late Night Happy Hour 17623 La Cantera Pkwy, # 107 • (210) 538-5833 • mashd.com sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 55

That Face you make when you see who actually won.

4602 Callaghan RD. | 210.433.9960 | mychunkysburgers.com Follow us on

THE BEST

thing since well, you know.

555 W Bitters Rd, #115 | (210) 277-8612 | thebreadboxsa.com 56 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

F O O D + D R I N K

H SUSHI WINNER: Niki’s Tokyo Inn 819 W. Hildebrand Ave. • (210) 736-5471 > When you combine its odd location on a grubby strip of Hildebrand and its decidedly unfussy facade, there can be a slightly ominous, David Lynchian vibe to one’s arrival at Niki’s Tokyo Inn. But once inside, the space reveals itself as a quirky, inviting and entirely authentic Japanese establishment. Proudly “San Antonio’s first family-owned Japanese restaurant,” Niki’s offers three distinct seating options — an L-shaped sushi bar equipped with pink Naugahyde swivel chairs, a classic “American” dining area and a traditional Japanese tatami-style room where guests sit on cushions on the floor. If you’re dining with a date or group, definitely opt for the relaxed confines of the tatami room

(no shoes allowed, so wear cute socks).

But if you’re flying solo, it’s hard to beat the view from the sushi bar. Not only do you get a glimpse of what’s being prepared, you’ll be privy to friendly banter between the mother and daughter sushi chefs. Don’t expect the bells and whistles of “modern” and “fusion” sushi. No cream cheese, fruit-topped rolls or caterpillar-shaped creations to be found here; this is strictly the real deal. Consider starting with a cucumber and octopus salad or a tempura appetizer before moving on to impossibly fresh sashimi, simple but satisfying maki, or one of many combination dinners (the 10-course meal for $18 is hard to beat). On slower week nights, you might even be lucky enough to be taken care of by head waiter Pat, a wealth of knowledge who’s both a San Anto original and a highly amusing storyteller.

11255 Huebner Rd. • 210.641.5222 sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 57

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www.romespizza.com

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delicioustamales.com | 1-800-TAMALE-1

F O O D + D R I N K DAVID RANGEL

Piglet playg round!

106 PERSHING AVE (BEHIND THE SMOKE SHACK)

iL ve Music!

aturday S & y a id fr , y a d s r u h t

H NEW RESTAURANT WINNER: Rebelle 300 E. Travis St. • (210) 352-3171 thestanthonyhotel.com > It makes sense for this year’s Best Chef to helm this year’s Best New Restaurant. As Rebelle opened its doors late last year, Stefan Bowers had to have known the stakes were high. How does one nonchalantly open a new American eatery that’ll retain fans of sister restaurant Feast while luring a healthy number of Downtown diners and tourists to a 107-yearold hotel? Well, you cherry-pick an ace team of kitchen rebels and let them deliver a tight menu under the direction of Bowers. Dinner at Rebelle is an intimate affair as you navigate

the dim lighting while noshing on delicate seafood plates, luxuriously seared and buttered steaks and thoughtful “slow and low” plates like the cassoulet Rebelle or duck confit.

Five months into its tenure at the remodeled hotel, Rebelle’s launched an abridged lunch menu — if you don’t order the green curry chicken you’re not doing it right — that happens to be one of the best deals in town come noontime for all those power lunch meetings you keep meaning to have.

And if the brunch line at Feast on Sundays exacerbates your hangover, Rebelle’s new brunch (think double burger, Belgian waffles, lemon-lime crepes and herb-infused four-egg omelette) inside the same dimly lit interiors should become a refuge from the glaring sun — Ray-Bans are optional.

WINE CHARCUTERIE BRUNCH WEEKLY EVENTS Web: NectarSA.com

@Nectarsat

Nectar Wine Bar and Ale House

Nectarwinebar

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NOW HIRING SOUTH

NORTH

Join us for HAPPY HOUR MON-THURS 3-6pm 910 South Alamo • rosariossa.com • 210.223.1806

Join us for HAPPY HOUR MON-FRI 4-7pm 9715 San Pedro Avenue • rosariossa.com • 210.481.4100

Thank You SA

for making us one

of your favorite Mexican Restaurants

®

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This is a festival with a purpose. More than just a week in May, Culinaria is a year round experience that gives you the best that San Antonio has to offer and in return gives the best back to the city. We invite you to Eat. Drink.

Give. at one (or more) of these events!

MAY 19-22, 2016 Serious foodies to curious newbies. #EATDRINKGIVE

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Voted B e s t Bouti que 2015

#

crownyourself

427 N. Loop 1604 W. Building 1, Ste. #105 San Antonio, TX. 78232 62 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

Follow Us! shopcamillacrown @camillacrown

S H O P P I N G

SHOPPING H = CRITIC’S PICK

H FLEA MARKET WINNER: Bussey’s Flea Market 18738 I-35 N. (Schertz) (210) 651-6830 • busseysfm.com > Since it first appeared in the Oxford English Dictionary back in 1922, the term “flea market” (derived from the French marché aux puces) has sadly devolved to encompass establishments trafficking in designer knockoffs, bootleg DVDs, costume jewelry, imported plastic toys and other

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unsavory items destined for landfills. In short, nothing shabby or old enough to shelter a flea, pulga or puce. While the odd second-hand treasure can be found at spots like Eisenhauer Flea Market, the new easily outweighs the old. Up the road at Schertz’s long-running Bussey’s Flea Market, that’s far from the case. Opened back in 1978

by H.P. Bussey and now owned

by Harold J. Smith and his three kids, the decidedly old-school market reportedly draws hundreds of vendors each weekend. After browsing through the garage-salelike tables set up in the parking lot facing I-35, shoppers and browsers can work their way through a maze of covered walkways to find stalls offering everything from military memorabilia and Nintendo collectibles to estate jewelry and

vintage toys. Among the more specialized dealers, Allen’s Bird Shop — a Bussey’s constant for 30 years, located at spaces P66 and P67 — sells such exotic creatures as military macaws ($1,295) and African grey parrots ($995) but also offers bird cages, feed and even “wing and nail trim service.” And when it comes time for a break, covered picnic tables and an array of snack bars beckon with breakfast tacos, nachos, hot dogs, raspas and ice-cold cans of beer.

SMOKE SHOP WINNER: Planet K Multiple locations planetktexas.com > The Texas stoner staple features

a plethora of pipes, one-hitters, vapes, Medusa-like hookahs and bongs of all shapes and sizes. You can always buy your Tinkerbelldelicate bodega bowls from the local family-owned convenience store, but you can’t also pick up an issue of High Times, Low Rider,

S H O P P I N G Barely Legal, a French tickler, novelty penis straw or discreet giant black dildo, now can you? Whether you need to restock on hair oil for your dreads, tattoo needles for your gun, plugs for your scenester kid sister, black lights for your “chill room,” papers for the dude on the couch, potions to fix your cloudy piss or nag champa for your crusty roommate, there’s one place that’s got it all, and they’re open late: 420-friendly hours.

Tell ‘em Mary sent-cha. Mary ...

Jane. Don’t really say that. Or talk about weed at all, for that matter. That shit’s illegal, and they’ll kick your narc ass out.

2. TIE: Monster Vape Multiple locations • monstervape.com Smokerz Paradize Multiple locations smokerzparadize.com 3. The Pipe Corner 727 S. Alamo St., Suite 200 • (210) 263-9729 facebook.com/thepipecorner1

FARMERS MARKET WINNER: Pearl Farmers Market 312 Pearl Pkwy. • (210) 212-7260 atpearl.com/farmers-market > You don’t have to be a foodie to love the Pearl Farmers Market. Open Saturdays from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. and Sundays from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., this farmers market is one of the city’s most prominent places to spend a weekend morning. All vendors are located within 150 miles of San Antonio, so you can feel good about supporting local business while chowing down on a pastry or buying your week’s groceries.

Once you’ve finished perusing the ever-growing rows of fresh produce, homemade soaps, local honey and artisanal goods, grab a seat and tap

your toes to the live music. Bring your kids and let them run loose with chalk, or head out solo and enjoy one of the many mouth-watering breakfast options while trying to pet every dog in sight.

The Pearl Farmers Market is a true weekend destination. Every year it gets bigger and better, and 2016 is no exception. Take a trip and you’ll see why it’s been voted Best in San Antonio for the fourth year in a row.

It’s a scent so specific that it can only be adequately described as “old book smell.” It smacks you in the face when you walk in the door and lingers in your nostrils long after you’ve walked back out onto Broadway.

The source of the aroma is the thousands of tomes stacked floor-toceiling in the old, blue building, first

opened in 1986. The store buys and sells books, and specializes in rare copies. Many of those are located to the left as you walk in the store.

They include signed copies, limited editions and leather-bound titles like The Brothers Karamazov and works by Goethe. On the top shelves, almost brushing the ceiling, sit bigticket items: 21 volumes of Ernest Hemingway for $2,750, the full works of Charles Dickens, the teachings of Plato.

Walking farther into the deeper recesses of the store incites the best kind of claustrophobia, as the high, cluttered shelves and makeshift stacks of books on the floor force bibliophiles to tip-toe between sections. There’s a full fiction room across from a history section, which includes specific spots for San Antonio history, Texana and western migration in the United States.

There is something in the store for everyone, but you’ve got to actually go there to get it. Cheever Books doesn’t have a website, which somehow feels right. It’s the kind of place that must be felt, seen and smelled to be appreciated. Find a book and a spot to nestle into the stacks.

2. Castle Hills Farm To Market 2211 NW Military Hwy. • (210) 259-8359 localfarmtomarket.com 3. 78209 Farmers Market 1800 Nacogdoches Road 78209farmersmarket.com

H USED BOOKSTORE WINNER: Cheever Books 3613 Broadway • (210) 824-2665 > Cheever Books smells like a used bookstore ought to.

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FREE COMIC BOOK DAY: MAY 7th!

Come get yours! ive1 s u l c x # E Knight

Moon Variant Store BLE NOW! AILA AV

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S H O P P I N G

their magic to raise it from the dead.

2. Alamo Bike Shop 1016 N. Flores St. • (210) 226-2453 alamobikeshop.com 3. Blue Star Bike Shop 1414 S. Alamo St. • (210) 858-0331 bluestarbikeshop.com

RUNNING STORE WINNER: Fleet Feet San Antonio Multiple locations fleetfeetsanantonio.com

Johnny Was • HOBO • Chan Luu • Nic+Zoe Eileen Fisher • Lilla P

2417 N.Main | M-Sat 10-6 | 210-732-8437

Stop by for our anniversary fiesta medal!

San Antonio’s Secret Treasure Chest

5525 Blanco Rd • www.cristinasjewelry.com • 210.342.3397 68 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

BIKE SHOP WINNER: Bike World Multiple locations • bikeworld.com > Since 1971, the Alamo Heights institution Bike World has lived up to its name: if you can’t find it among their stacks and upturned bike racks, it’s not likely to exist on this planet of ours. Now operating at three locations — the original Broadway, the Pearl and Stone Oak — Bike World offers a staggering array of options and price points. From four-figure, road warrior beauties to starter cruisers and dayat-a-time rentals, the franchise has every essential and accessory to get you out of the car and onto two wheels for the morning commute. For those who prefer buying careworn beaters on Craigslist, Bike World’s service technicians are truly unparalleled. If you give them a strict budget, they’ll do everything within that pennypinched limit to tune up your ride. If you just want that childhood heirloom rolling again no matter the cost, these mechanic/necromancers will work

> The 1994 film Forrest Gump drops invaluable bits of wisdom in nearly every frame. But here’s one that’s stuck with us, courtesy of Gary Sinise’s Lt. Dan Taylor: “One: Take good care of your feet. Two: Try not to do anything stupid, like getting yourself killed.” The first part of that quote is especially sage advice and one of the reasons why we value a damn fine running store like Fleet Feet San Antonio. The store has been in business for nearly 20 years, and they have the staff and products to ensure your feet are taken care of while you’re pounding the pavement (or trail or track, for that matter). They carry all the top brands, as well as necessary accessories, such as socks, tops and shorts. There’s even a treadmill to help you find the best fit. Make note: The original Alamo Heights location will relocate to The Quarry later this month.

2. Soler’s Sports Multiple locations • solerssports.com 3. TIE: San Antonio Running Company 711 S. St. Mary’s St. • (210) 246-2253 sarunningco.com We Run San Antonio 11503 NW Military Hwy., Suite 116 (210) 698-7600 • werunsanantonio.com

You’ve been to the Alamo.

Have you been to the Eisenhauer?

INDOOR MARKET.

VENDOR SPACES AVAILABLE. Eisenhauer Road Flea Market | 3903 Eisenhauer Rd, SATX 78218 | 210.653.7592

16600 Huebner 210.408.1831 SolanaZoe

@Solanazoe

GOT DWI, DUI? SATX: (210)394-3833 ATX: (512)278-0935

420dude.com DWIdude.com sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 69

S H O P P I N G

WINNER: Alamo Records & Sheet Music • 125 Broadway (210) 212-4200 > Like an audiophile’s Purgatory – a place with everything you could ever want in near-mint condition but knowingly priced – Alamo Records and Sheet Music is the vinyl buyer’s great Catch-22: a record store that houses magnificent unfound finds and obscure wax, in every version, pressing and color you could want, but under the watchful eye of the record collector’s record collector, a man who knows the worth, and what’s more, the sonic value of every piece of wax in his stacks. True vinyl hounds come from far and wide to dig through the motley collection at Alamo Records. Originally opened at Eisenhauer Flea Market in 1990, the store moved to a basement on Houston Street in 1992 and eventually relocated to the third floor of the Antique Mall at the corner of Broadway and Travis in 2003. Owner Will Day has amassed a treasure trove of what must be at least half-a-million records, primarily from individual owners. From soul to country, conjunto, hip-hop and rock ‘n’ roll, the tight, cramped aisles of boxes, bins

and containers are sure to include something for every type of listener.

However, don’t visit the space, also home to 15,000 pieces of sheet music, expecting to find the bargain of a lifetime. Day knows the value of his wares and, although fairly priced, you won’t be sneaking away with any steals. You can, however, kill hours perusing through the impressive collection, looking for (and most likely finding) exactly what you’ve been seeking … rare vinyl gems and a story from San Antonio’s landmark vinyl institution.

MUSIC INSTRUMENT STORE WINNER: Alamo Music Center Multiple locations alamomusic.com > From your little sister’s trumpet to your dad’s vintage Fender Stratocaster, with two (and a half) locations and 87 years in operation, Alamo Music Center has invested countless hours and human-power into supplying San Antonio with all of its musical instrument needs and as a locus for lessons on any and all instruments, with the knowledge necessary to play whatever beats, rhythms and melodies set our toes a-tapping. The original location in the heart of San Antonio is packed wall-to-wall with pianos, accordions, wind instruments, guitars and the basement is full of recording and sound equipment. Alamo Music Center has provided San Antonio’s musicians, pros and amateurs, with exceptional options for years.

2. Redbone Guitar Boutique 255 E. Basse Road, Suite 1085 (210) 822-4111 • redboneguitar.com

• Alamo Music Center

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BRYAN RINDFUSS

H RECORD SHOP

3. TIE: Robot Monster Guitars 517 E. Woodlawn Ave. • (210) 320-1710 robotmonsterguitars.com

•

The DoSeum

High School Music Service Multiple locations • hsmusicservice.com

H CHILDREN’S STORE WINNER: The DoSeum gift shop 2800 Broadway • (210) 212-4453 thedoseum.org > Children’s stores, even modest ones, can offer a kind of magic to visitors, whether they’re browsing, buying or doing a bit of both. There’s a sense of learning coupled with innocent joy and imagination, which is hard to find elsewhere. The DoSeum gift shop is a fine purveyor of this magical, nearly ineffable feeling of possibility. If you visit the shop after a few hours in The DoSeum, your mind is already primed for the thrill of discovery and the purposeful, experimental experience of quality play. And, as a children’s store, The DoSeum gift shop is chockfull of toys, gadgets, puzzles, games, models and kits, all unique and all with an educational bent. Among the store’s most novel and popular items are

pre-made gift sets (designed by Retail Operations Manager Christa Simpson and her staff), customizable for age, interest and learning focus. Whether you’re looking for a gift for a special child in your life or just looking to experience a truly awesome children’s store, stop on by The DoSeum gift shop and prepare to be wowed. Note: it is not necessary to pay the admission for The DoSeum if you just want to pop into the shop.

ANTIQUE STORE WINNER: Alamo Antique Mall 125 Broadway • (210) 224-4354 alamoantiquemall.com 2. Karolina’s Antiques 1705 Blanco Road (210) 731-9787 3. The Junction Antiques 1704 Blanco Road, Suite 102 (210) 273-3439 facebook.com/thejunctionsanantonio

APRIL 29, 2016 | 9 P.M.–MIDNIGHT $20 | 21 and up | Free for Young Friends Soul Tren Latino | DJ Steven Lee Moya | Dancing University of the Spoken Word | Spin art | Pop art | Gallery tours Late-night suprises | Scavenger hunt | Food trucks Specialty cocktails by Blue Box (cash bar) Ardella Anderson

SAN ANTONIO MUSEUM of ART 200 W. Jones Avenue | San Antonio, Texas 78215 | samuseum.org/nightatthemuseum Mention the San Antonio Museum of Art and receive a special $95 rate when booking at the Wyndham Garden Riverwalk Museum Reach Hotel. sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 71

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SHOP ONLINE AT AMOLS.COM 710 SOUTH FLORES ST. | 210-227-1457 72 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

S H O P P I N G

2. Element Tattoo 4741 Fredericksburg Road (210) 979-9877 elementtattoo.com 3. Revolution Ink 5623 Evers Road (210) 263-9817

COMIC BOOK SHOP WINNER: Heroes and Fantasies Multiple locations heroesandfantasies.com

TATTOO SHOP WINNER: Doomsday Tattoo 910 San Pedro Ave. (210) 957-1050 doomsdaytattoos.com > You won’t find anyone putting on airs at Doomsday Tattoo. Owner Bubba Soliz, who has been a tattooer for 13 years, said he and his crew befriend everyone who walks through their door, even if they want something as out-of-style as a tribal design or koi fish. “None of us play the ego game,” said Soliz, who opened his shop in 2013. “We’d never say we’re too cool for certain tattoos. There is a mutual respect between us and our clients.” Soliz enjoys doing a lot of traditional American and Japanese tattoos and geometrical work, but has learned to stay versatile as an artist over the years. He is encouraged that there has recently been more regulation in his industry. “It’s going to get to where you actually have to be good at what you do to open a tattoo shop,” Soliz said. “No one wants a tattoo from someone who just bought the supplies.”

> If DC made Batman vs. Superman vs. Heroes and Fantasies, the local comic book store would likely come out the winner. Next year, the privately owned retailer, which was founded by Rich Conley, will celebrate its 30th anniversary in San Antonio. Along with selling an assortment of products, including action figures, movie posters, games, collectibles and, of course, comic books as far as the eye can see, H&F hosts a series of special events at their two locations at Pat Booker Road and NW Loop 410 (near Summit Parkway). Join them on May 7 for Free Comic Book Day and meet superhero cosplayers, win prizes and check out some exclusive art.

If gaming tournaments are your thing, H&F has you covered with competitions ranging from topics such as Dragon Ball Z to Dungeons and Dragons to Pokémon. Visit their website for weekly comic reviews written by intergalactic super nerds.

Check out fresh daily conent at sacurrent.com

ANTIQUES. COL L ECTIBL ES . ODDITIES .

1423 E.Commerce St. • 210.827.5555

1016 N. FLORES | SA,TX 78212

2. Gotham Newsstand 4522 Fredericksburg Road (210) 379-5115 gothamnewsstand.com 3. Bazinga Comics 2941 Thousand Oaks Drive, Suite 101 (210) 404-9174 bazingacomics.com

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We Buy & Sell THE HOTTEST STYLES! Looking for hot trends or need some cash? We buy & sell clothing, handbags, shoes & more!

20ALL%LADIES OFF STRAW HATS

10 % OFF

LADIES FIESTA BOOTS

15LADIES%PURSES OFF

2 AREA LOCATIONS Northwest Location

North Star Location

platosclosetnorthwestsanantonio.com

platosclosetnorthstarsanantonio.com

11851 Bandera Road San Antonio, TX 78023 210-372-1311

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630 NW Loop 410 San Antonio, TX 78216 210-979-7711

20LADIES%BELTSOFF & SANDALS

4522 Fredericksburg Rd.• 210-736-0990 • cowtownboots.com Wonderland of the Americas Mall Mon-Sat 10-7p Sun 12-5p

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a t s e i F s l a d maei l a b l e f o r av se! a h c r u p

ANTIQUES • VINTAGE • COLLECTIBLES 1704 Blanco Rd, Ste 102 • (210) 273-3439

CD/DVD Duplication • Posters & Postcards Audio Mastering • Apparel & Merchandise & More...

100 CD's w/ Sleeves $248 Same Day Service Available!

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866.816.2323 AFFORDABLESOUND.COM

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S H O P P I N G

•

Shades of Green

to faux fur coats ($49.94) and even an impeccably preserved polyester leisure suit ($79.97).

2. Boysville Auxiliary Thrift Store 307 W. Olmos Drive (210) 826-2195 boysvilletexas.org/thrift-store 3. Family Thrift Center Multiple locations familythriftcenter.com

BOUTIQUE

THRIFT STORE WINNER: Texas Thrift Multiple locations • buythrift.com > With 12 locations in the Lone Star State (including four in San Antonio), Texas Thrift is a major player on the second-hand scene. Offering anything but a quaint bargain-store experience, these supermarketsized destinations might have you reaching for a rickety shopping cart to push through the neatly organized (and even color-coded) racks. With “thousands of new items” reportedly added to each store’s floor daily, the company supports a variety of charities via donations while encouraging customers to “recycle, reuse and restyle” and “keep useable items out of local landfills.” On a recent visit to Texas Thrift’s Windsor Park location off I-35, we were pleasantly surprised to find a decent collection of bargain-priced books and vinyl, a few rounders dedicated to gently worn Fiesta attire ($6.98$24.92) and a full-blown vintage section stocked with everything from pearl-snap Western shirts ($19.91)

WINNER: Camilla Crown 427 N. Loop 1604 W., Suite 105 (210) 497-5406 shopcamillacrown.com 2. Broadway Pin Ups 3619 Broadway • (210) 824-1415 broadwaypinups.com

ahead of the curve when it came to understanding the dangers of using toxic substances to grow plants.

This is also a nursery for gardeners of all levels. The staff is helpful and accessible. And there’s much more than plants, although there’s a ton of those. There’s a smattering of fun pots and planters sprinkled all through the garden, from the most basic ceramic pot to brightly colored planters of all shapes and sizes. If you haven’t planned to spend all your green by the time you’ve meandered throughout the extensive nursery, the gift shop has plenty of cool stuff, too; from fanciful sculptures, to tools, to gifts for the kids, to books about gardening, South Texas native plants and more. Good luck just trying to visit without purchasing a new addition for the porch.

DISCOUNT STORE

3. Closet Connoisseur Resale 8055 West Ave., Suite 123 • (210) 349-8668 closetconnoisseurresale.com

CAR DEALERSHIP WINNER: Cavender Toyota 5730 NW Loop 410 • (210) 681-6601 cavendertoyota.com 2. Gunn Honda 14610 W. I-10 (210) 680-3371 • gunnhonda.com 3. Mercedes Benz of Boerne 31445 I-10 Frontage Road (830) 981-6000 • mbboerne.com

LIQUOR STORE WINNER: Spec’s Multiple locations • specsonline.com

3. Montage Vintage 423 W. Grayson St. • (210) 324-0157 montagestyle.com

WINNER: Half Price Books Multiple locations • b.hpb.com

2. Twin Liquors Multiple locations • twinliquors.com

H PLANT NURSERY

2. Boysville Auxiliary Thrift Store 307 W. Olmos Drive • (210) 826-2195 boysvilletexas.org/thrift-store

3. Gabriel’s Wine and Spirits Multiple locations gabrielsliquor.com

WINNER: Shades of Green 334 W. Sunset Road (210) 824-3772 • shadesofgreensa.com > For more than 30 years, a plant nursery just off Broadway has offered the finest in organic gardening — and it’s also a great place to just enjoy the scenery. The pet-friendly Shades of Green, in itself, is one of the nicest gardens you could relax in, with trickling water bubbling from fountains scattered throughout a complex that’s filled with everything from red-tinged Japanese maple trees to exotic-looking desert roses. One staffer said during a recent outing that Shades of Green’s organic specialization has garnered the nursery notoriety around the country and world because they were

•

Texas Thrift

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4522 Fredericksburg Rd, Ste D-6

‘VIVA FIESTA!’

(located @the wonderland of the americas)

-51.c1o5m 9 7 3 (21h0a)mnewsstand got

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1709 BLANCO RD. SATX 78212 • 210-731-9787 • KAROLINASANTIQUES.COM

The New TP9-III

4522 Fredericksburg, Ste D1 • 94feetofgreatness.com • 2 10-660-7463 78 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

S H O P P I N G

THE BEST SELECTION OF E-CIGARETTES, TOBACCO PRODUCTS & VAPORIZERS! Thank You For Your Support!!

4:20 4:20

4:20

4:20

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The Twig Book Shop

FLORIST

PLACE TO GET A PIÑATA

WINNER: H-E-B Blooms Multiple locations • heb.com/blooms

WINNER: Amols 710 S. Flores St. (210) 227-1457 • amols.com

2. A Dreamweaver Florist 603 S. Alamo St. (210) 472-3080 adreamweaverflorist.com

2. Fiesta on Main 2025 N. Main Ave. • (210) 738-1188 alamofiesta.com

3. Statue of Design 4347 McCullough Ave. • (210) 829-0636 statueofdesign.net

3. Becky’s Piñatas 615 Cupples Road facebook.com/beckys.pinata

VIDEO GAME STORE

BOOK STORE

WINNER: Game Over Videogames Multiple locations gameovervideogames.com

WINNER: The Twig Book Shop 306 Pearl Pkwy., Suite 106 (210) 826-6411 • thetwig.com

2. Propaganda Palace 2100 McCullough Ave. (210) 400-0240 3. Ramsey Island Video Games 4522 Fredericksburg Road, Suite B73

4:20

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2. Sexology Institute & Boutique 727 S. Alamo St. • (210) 487-0371 sexologyinstitute.com 3. Nine Lives Books 4907 NW Loop 410, Suite 102 (210) 647-5656 • ninelivesbooks.com

CALL US TODAY AT 1-888-403-7638 MON-THUR: 10AM-10PM • FRI-SAT: 10AM-11PM • SUN: 12PM-9PM SMOKERZPARADIZE.COM • SMOKERZPARADISE@GMAIL.COM

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1846 North Loop 1604 W Suite 105 San Antonio, TX 78248 (210) 254-9297 vogeboutique.com

Shop Voge

for all your summer must-haves!

SAN ANTONIO’S #1 STOP FOR CORSETS AND WAIST TRAINERS SPECIALIZING IN ANN CHERY WAIST TRAINERS LOCATED AT

@VOGEBOUTIQUE 80 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

UptownGypsy.com • (210) 978-6546 • 4522 Fredericksburg Rd.

S H O P P I N G MICHELLE LORENTZEN

INTERNATIONAL MARKET

ADULT STORE

WINNER: Tim’s Oriental & Seafood Market 7015 Bandera Road, Suite 8 (210) 523-1688

WINNER: Love Shack Boutique 1580 Babcock Road • (210) 767-9411 theloveshackboutique.com

> In San Antonio for 30 years, this independent grocery store boasts an incredible selection of those hardto-find fresh, frozen and packaged products few other Asian markets carry. Owner Cathy Lim and her staff have sustained a popular destination for their regular customers and those who are interested in getting ambitious with their culinary talents (or those who watch way too much Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown). From an array of options for ramen noodles to roasted Peking duck hanging in the back of the store, Tim’s caters to all tastes across the Asian continent.

Let’s not forget their assortment of Asian beers, wines and saké. An online reviewer recently wrote that the market “has been known to wrestle the largest dungeness crab ... and go Moby Dick on the freshest fish for [its] customers.”

2. Ali Baba 9307 Wurzbach Road • (210) 691-1111 alibabasanantonio.com 3. Las Américas Latin Market 6623 San Pedro Ave. • (210) 340-2747 lasamericaslatinmarket.com

> It’s a four-peat! We love our hometown dynasties … from the Spurs to The Love Shack Boutique.

The locally owned shop scores the top spot for the fourth year in a row with its mission to promote healthy and safe sexuality by offering quality products and educational workshops in an environment that is both completely comfortable and wickedly fun. Whether you are looking for bridal shower swag, sexy lingerie (in sizes up to 4X) or a fantastic selection of toys for playtime, the staff here never fail in being warm, welcoming and incredibly knowledgeable. You may also know owner Amy Gonzalez from her work throughout the community, both supporting and hosting events to raise money for community programs such as SA Pets Alive and the San Antonio AIDS Foundation.

Getting down and dirty while supporting worthwhile causes?

That’s an enthusiastic yes!

Go Baby Go Practical * Intuitive * Parenting www.gobabygoshop.com facebook/gobabygoshop #gobabygoshop

2. Sexology Institute & Boutique 727 S. Alamo St. • (210) 487-0371 sexologyinstitute.com 3. Adult Megaplex Multiple locations • megaplexsa.com

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FE B R UARY 10–APR IL 24

Thank You San Antonio For Supporting The McNay! Thomas Schütte, Grosse Geister #2 [Big Spirit #2], 2003. Polished bronze. Courtesy of the Rubell Family Collection.

The Elizabeth Huth Coates Exhibition Endowment and the Arthur and Jane Stieren Fund for Exhibitions are lead sponsors.

Exhibition organized by the McNay Art Museum in collaboration with the Rubell Family Collection.

The Flora Crichton Visiting Artist Fund, the Ewing Halsell Foundation Endowment for Visiting Artists, the King Ranch Family Trust Endowment for Visiting Artists, Mitcham Partners, Judith and George Schroeder, the Director’s Circle, and the Host Committee are providing additional support.

6000 North New Braunfels | PO Box 6069 San Antonio, Texas 78209-0069 mcnayart.org

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P E O P L E

•

Vincent Valdez’s “The Strangest Fruit,” images courtesy of Artpace San Antonio

PEOPLE H = CRITIC’S PICK

H VISUAL ARTIST WINNER: Vincent Valdez vincentvaldezart.com > Combining gritty yet lyrical hyper-realism with a searing social conscience, Vincent Valdez is rapidly becoming San Antonio’s best-known artist nationally. Last year, the Southwest School of Art instructor served as the Texas State Artist for Painting and Drawing and won a $25,000 Joan Mitchell Painters and Sculptors Grant for “creating work of

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exceptional quality.” This year, a New York Times writer covering the Ted Cruz campaign visited Valdez’s West Side studio and called his painting of beer-drinking, iPhone-using, white-robed Ku Klux Klan members “a selfie for 21st-century America,” reflecting the racial divides of the 2016 presidential race. The City will be unveiled September 9 in Valdez’s oneman show “The Beginning Is Near” at Houston’s David Shelton Gallery. Closer to home, a new mural based on his large-scale, black-and-white painting of a sinking sailing ship, Till Then, now graces the lobby of the Palmetto Center for the Arts at Northwest Vista College. Inspired by the Mills Brothers’ melancholic World War II-era song, the mural involved the work of dozens of local high school student volunteers led by Valdez and artist Alex Rubio. The pair worked together on community

murals, that, back in the day, earned Valdez a full scholarship to the Rhode Island School of Design. Valdez’s most disturbing series, “The Strangest Fruit” (pictured) is named for the Billie Holiday song and features portraits of his friends suspended in air as if by a hangman’s noose, a chilling reminder of the more than 600 Mexicans and Mexican-Americans lynched in the United States.

LOCAL CELEBRITY WINNER: Spurs Jesus twitter.com/spursjesus > A fixture at Spurs games since 2010, Spurs Jesus has taken hoops fandom to the next level. Known for his trademark flowing hair, chanclas and red sash, Spurs Jesus has translated his love for the Silver

and Black to bringing awareness to a host of area charities, including Child Advocates San Antonio, St. PJ’s Children’s Home and the San Antonio AIDS Foundation, among others. It’s been a great season for Spurs Jesus, who got engaged in September, was recently honored with a namesake

P E O P L E BEA SIMMONS

Sriracha-infused hot dog at Pugels and plans to launch his Four Quarters Foundation to support local causes later this month. Spurs Jesus secured his place as an Alamo City public figure over the summer, when he chased a would-be burglar from his former home in Southtown down to the San Antonio River, where the perp was eventually apprehended by SAPD. In other words, don’t mess with Spurs Jesus.

2. Kristi Waters

2. Elora Valdez reverbnation.com/eloravaldez

3. Sasha Taylor facebook.com/sashashowgirl

3. Rey Lopez facebook.com/reylopezentertainment

DIRECTOR (THEATER) WINNER: Greg Hinojosa

PHOTOGRAPHER DRAG QUEEN WINNER: Tencha la Jefa facebook.com/tencha.lajefa > With her comedic attitude and disheveled look (complete with blacked-out teeth and a wig full of rollers), Tencha la Jefa parodies drag’s obsession with femininity and

glamour. Through her regular gig as a Rey Lopez Entertainment (RLE) Showgirl, the Laredo transplant hosts shows headlined by queens culled from the ranks of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Famously entering the world of drag on a dare, Tencha now has her sights set on the Drag Race crown. And, after two unsuccessful auditions, she’s been working on a new glam look to help increase her chances when she auditions

WINNER: Bea Simmons 1100 Broadway • (210) 605-8694 facebook.com/beasimmonsphotography 2. Raven Red (aka Angela Michelle) 1333 Buena Vista St., Suite 201 (210) 526-1941 • ravenredphoto.com 3. Vanity Boudoir (210) 602-1147 • vanityboudoir.com JULIÁN P. LEDEZMA

> This descendent of the old carpas of San Antonio has done his ancestors proud, starring in, directing and packing the house in productions that have left his audiences shivering with anticipation. For nearly four years, Hinojosa served as artistic director of the Woodlawn Theatre, where he infused innovation with a wide range of classic spectacles and raised the bar for what his audiences could expect from live theater. From a Tarzan that swung over the audience, to a Mary Poppins that flew with the aid of her umbrella, to an impressive lineup of celebrity drag queens in his infamous Halloween productions of The Rocky Horror Show, there’s no such thing as impossible on his stage. Hinojosa stepped down from his position at the Woodlawn back in December; however, with theatric bloodlines that run as thick as his, there’s no doubt he’ll be titillating audiences again soon.

for season 10. “It’s gonna be hard because people see pretty girls, glamour girls and younger girls on the show, and, in the beginning, I think the girls aren’t going to get me,” Tencha told our sister publication Out In SA. “Once the challenges start, I’m gonna be afraid, but I’m going to do my best and I think that I have the experience that I need to go to [the] top three.”

2. Marisela Barrera 3. Michael Burger

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P E O P L E

H COMMUNITY ACTIVIST WINNER: DeAnne Cuellar > The SA native and communications coordinator for Equality Texas is a longtime equality advocate — a label that’s exceptionally broad, but still doesn’t quite capture the breadth of causes Cuellar supports. Cuellar’s a practical communicator, organizer and clear thinker in a time when there are too few of them. And, at a time when polarization is the principal hallmark of public discourse, Cuellar gets her point across without being unnecessarily abrasive or obtuse. She’s out to win, to make San Antonio a better and more equitable place for the LGBT community, women, underprivileged kids — anyone whose voice might be marginalized or doesn’t get a fair shake — and she’s smart about how she goes about it. Cuellar is also at the forefront of bridging the digital divide in San Antonio, both by working toward an open and fair internet for everyone and by ensuring that the web — just like water, electricity and other necessary utilities — is accessible to people all over the city. As tech companies concentrate in San Antonio — and as Google Fiber lays out thousands of miles of fiber optic cable throughout the city — voices like Cuellar’s will become even more important to make sure that folks in digital deserts aren’t left even further behind.

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• James Avery

INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT WINNER: Ms. Dakota Puggy @missdakotapuggy > Who could have possibly guessed that the winner of Best Instagram Account in our readers’ poll would be replete with wrinkles, her visage as flat as a pancake, bug-eyes popping out from her perpetually frowning mug … it’s a pug! Ms. Dakota Puggy, to be exact. And, yes, she’s got slutty Halloween pictures wearing nothing but a nurse’s cap (don’t you dare shame), behind bars (she can be a naughty girl), on a leash (she’s a bit of a kinkster, too), tearing up furniture (ditto) and in a plaid dress befitting a sassy waitress at a Scottish-themed sports bar, as well as videos getting sniffed from both ends by terrier pals, but she’s your elected winner, dammit, so treat her (and follow her @MISSDAKOTAPUGGY) with the respect she deserves. After all, she’s still in the single-digits in doggy years and has a lot of livin’ to do.

2. MBP Photobooth Co. @mbpphotoboothco 3. Eat it, B @eat_it_b

SPURS PLAYER WINNER: Kawhi Leonard twitter.com/kawhileonard > Now in his fifth season in San Antonio, Spurs swingman Kawhi Leonard has evolved into his role as the future of the franchise, and the future is now.

While reminiscent of a 19-year-old Tony Parker growing up before our eyes, the rate of Leonard’s ascendance has been astounding. Already a Finals MVP and Defensive Player of the Year, Leonard added NBA All-Star to his list of accolades this campaign, when fans voted him into the league’s mid-season classic. Leonard is averaging career highs in points and three-point field goal percentage and has formed a potent

front-court combo with LaMarcus Aldridge that has overwhelmed opponents. Glowing profiles in national sports publications, including Sports Illustrated and Slam, have spread the Gospel of Kawhi to the masses, but those in San Anto already know. Kawhi Leonard is the best two-way player in the game, so get used to it.

2. Tim Duncan • slamduncan.com 3. Manu Ginobili • usa.manuginobili.com

JEWELER WINNER: James Avery Jewelry Multiple locations • jamesavery.com 2. Americus Diamond • 12362 I-10 W. (210) 561-1000 • americusdiamond.com 3. Penaloza and Sons 2001 NW Military Hwy. • (210) 340-3536 penalozaandsons.com

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Call or Text for an Appointment 210-887-7080 10999 IH-10 W, #175

dannycharbel.com

Twitter: @dannycharbel Facebook: dannycharbelrealtor

WINNER sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 91

Craft Beer Filling Station + Taproom 8 3 1 3 b r o a d w ay s t. 7 8 2 0 9 210.320.2738 | thegrowlerexchange.com

QUARRY NAILS

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Solar Nails • Shellac Manicure • Pedicure • Waxing Eyelash Extension Open: Mon -Sat: 9am - 7pm | Sun: 11am -6pm quarrynails.com • (210) 930-9330 • 255 E Basse Rd, Suite #1080 In The Quarry Market, Near The Cinema 92 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

P E O P L E

CHEF

LOCAL ACTOR

WINNER: Stefan Bowers Feast & Rebelle twitter.com/stefanbowers

WINNER: Tommy Lee Jones

> The readers have spoken — there’s a new head chef in town. Stefan Bowers, who began his career in San Antonio under Jason Dady at The Lodge of Castle Hills and later went on to helm his own kitchen as executive chef at 20Nine Restaurant and Wine Bar before opening Feast in Southtown with Andrew Goodman, has had quite the year. The Navy vet (a helicopter rescue swimmer, no less) left Feast in the hands of Jared Smith and Cody Clarke (“one’s artistic and one’s the muscle,” he says) to concentrate on opening Rebelle, the New American restaurant that sits inside the remodeled St. Anthony Hotel. Backed by chef de cuisine Zeke Cavazos and sous chef Gary Alsup, Bowers treats San Anto to charbroiled gulf oysters, velvety smooth green curries, potted Iowa white cheddar with rye, fried Camembert, grilled quail and a few Feast crossovers like the Merguez ground goat kebabs. And did we mention Bowers and co. catered to the likes of Michel Escoffier, greatgrandson of famed French chef August Escoffier?

2. Jason Dady • Jason Dady Restaurant Group • twitter.com/chefjasondady 3. Johnny Hernandez • Grupo La Gloria twitter.com/iamchefjohnny

> He might have a reputation around town for being a bit of a curmudgeon, but there’s no denying Tommy Lee Jones is in the top tier of veteran actors working in Hollywood today. From his Academy Award-winning role in 1993’s The Fugitive, to mainstream fare like the Men in Black franchise, to his underappreciated work in The Homesman and The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, Jones, who turns 70 this year, is an icon. In 2016, fans can see him in three new films: Criminal, Jason Bourne and Mechanic: Resurrection. And everyone, please, leave the man alone if you see him out at dinner. He’s not interested in being a celebrity. “He’s pure Texas,” Boyhood actor and friend Richard Jones (no relation) told the San Antonio Current last year about TLJ. “Texans can be very generous and show off their Southern manners. They can also tell you to get off their property.”

2. Jesse Borrego 3. Gianna Rodriguez

ATTORNEY WINNER: Marc LaHood 1924 N. Main Ave. • (210) 201-0230 lahoodcalfas.com > Marc LaHood, of the LaHood & Calfas law firm, is the first-ever winner of the new Best of San Antonio category for attorney. LaHood, son of District Judge Michael LaHood and brother of District Attorney Nicholas “Nico” LaHood, is a trial lawyer who focuses on criminal defense, family law and personal injury. LaHood used to face off against his partner Neil Calfas. After the two tried cases against each other for years, they joined forces in 2013.

LaHood’s office says in a statement that he’s “never one to back away from a legal battle.” He’s a native San Antonian who went to Central Catholic High School and the Texas Military Institute, followed by Trinity University and St. Mary’s University. He’s also a member of the Mexican American Bar Association, the San Antonio Criminal Defense Lawyers Association, the Texas Criminal Defense Lawyers Association and the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers.

LOCAL POET

2. Jim Adler 7330 San Pedro Ave., Suite 700 (210) 253-5800 • jimadler.com

WINNER: Steve Browne ksat.com

3. Frank Herrera, Jr. 111 Soledad St., Suite 1900 (210) 224-1054 herreralaw.com

WINNER: Naomi Shihab Nye barclayagency.com/nye.html 2. Anthony The Poet facebook.com/anthony.thepoet.3 3. Andrea “Vocab” Sanderson soundcloud.com/andreavocabsanderson

METEOROLOGIST

2. Albert Flores news4sanantonio.com 3. Bill Taylor kens5.com

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The DoSeum iS San anTonio’S muSeum for KiDS…anD eDucaTorS! We believe that when educators come together across disciplines and learning spaces, together they can transform how students experience learning. Our professional development opportunities support and host universities, public, charter, or private school districts, and informal institutions, and are grounded in theory, research, and best practices.

The DoSeum provides a variety of resources for educators, such as:

Read more about our Professional Development programs for Educators at TheDoSeum.org

“It’s important to me to be a part of a group of teachers who have the same values as me— innovation, collaboration, and exploring new territory.”

-Vanessa Gonzales Fourth Grade Teacher, Walzem Elementary

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@TheDoSeum

#TheDoSeum

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P E O P L E

WINNER: Naomi Shihab Nye barclayagency.com/nye.html > Cherished local author Naomi Shihab Nye writes striking, imagerich and empowering poetry, lively novels and short stories that hum with cultural vibrancy and are easy to digest, and children’s stories and songs that hearken back to the potent, archetypal simplicity of classic myths and fables. And sometimes, perhaps when she’s at her best, she deftly blurs the line between all of these. In her latest book Famous, a beautifully illustrated version of one of her most poignant and universal poems, Nye offers children a chance to play with notions of fame, self-love and the confidence that love bestows. “I want to be famous to shuffling men/ who smile while crossing streets/ sticky children in grocery lines/ famous as the one who smiled back,” the poem’s speaker ruminates, calling readers of all ages to regard fame with ambivalence and focus on the everyday difference that each person can make. Nye’s upbringing is as eclectic as her work and boasts a multicultural aspect that, no doubt, contributes to the

depth and breadth of her imagination and activism. Nye wasn’t born in San Antonio, but landed here somewhat by chance when she was 17. After a childhood spent in Missouri, Nye moved to Jerusalem with her American mother and Palestinian-immigrant father. Then, after too much turmoil in the Holy Land, the family relocated here and the young Nye fell in love with the place. We think it’s safe to say that we have fallen in love with her, too.

•

Naomi Shihab Nye

JOSH HUSKIN

H LOCAL AUTHOR

REALTOR WINNER: Jeff Dillingham ARCCAA Realty The Dillingham Team Realtors 2941 Mossrock Drive, Suite 207 (210) 507-7070 • myhomesa.com 2. Danny Charbel Keller Williams 10999 I-10 W., Suite 175 • (210) 887-7080 dannycharbel.com 3. Sandra Uribe Keller Williams 2338 N. Loop 1604 W., Suite 120 (210) 493-3030 sandrauribe.kwrealty.com

POLITICIAN

youngest mayor ever of one of the U.S.’ largest 50 cities.

WINNER: U.S. Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Julián Castro hud.gov

2. Leticia Van de Putte facebook.com/leticiavandeputte

> The next vice president of the United States? That’s been the rumor for the past year. There’s a collective urge in SA to see hometown hero and former mayor Julián Castro picked to run side-by-side with likely nominee Hillary Clinton. Even if he’s not picked, the Alamo City will always root for Julián. The son of a Chicana activist and twin brother to U.S. Representative Joaquín Castro, Julián graduated from Thomas Jefferson High School and Stanford University, and was first elected to City Council in 2001. Over the next 13 years, and three mayoral terms — 2009, 2011 and 2013 — Julián transformed San Antonio with the creation of SA2020, Café College and Pre-K for SA and captured the Alamo City’s vision and hopes with the “City on the Rise” slogan. He’s also the

3. State Representative Diego Bernal facebook.com/diegombernal

DERMATOLOGIST WINNER: Vivian Bucay Multiple locations drvivianbucay.com 2. Rebecca Kelso 414 W. Sunset Road, Suite 210 (210) 255-8447 alamoheightsderm.com 3. Linda Coffey Multiple locations sadermatologist.com

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P E O P L E

LOCAL DESIGNER WINNER: Caterina Gutierrez

PET GROOMER WINNER: Lucy’s Doggy Daycare and Spa • Multiple locations lucysdoggydaycare.com/san_antonio > Rare is the dog who enjoys taking a bath. Some fight it, others tolerate it, but few get giddy at the sound of running water. Perhaps that would change if they were always treated with the same level of pampering they receive at Lucy’s Doggy Daycare and Spa: a compound of canine luxury that offers grooming, self-serve bathing, boarding and daycare. Lucy’s trained staff is well-versed in life’s luxuries, including shed reduction treatment, pawdicure and a blueberry facial scrubs (plus, anal gland expression at no extra charge, so there’s that). If you’re more of the DIY sort, there are several self-serve stations, and Lucy’s furnishes all the necessary supplies — $15 per wash, unless you purchase a pack of 10, 20 or 30 sessions. Your pup will thank you.

2. The Wash Dawg 16600 Huebner Road, Suite 106 (210) 493-3294 • thewashdawg.com 3. Little Debby’s Dog Grooming 1910 Fredericksburg Road (210) 324-6373

> To make it as a designer in San Antonio you need guts, a strong vision and a purpose. Caterina Gutierrez has all three, and then some.

Currently, she’s working on a fashion collection titled “Que Más Quieres,” a follow-up to her 2014 collection entitled “Solo Mujeres,” which calls out stereotypical characteristics of Latina/o culture — and squashes them. “‘Solo Mujeres’ aimed to say, ‘We’re just people. We’re just women.’ With this new work, ‘Que Más Quieres,’ I’m asking the ever-elusive ‘other’ just that — ‘Que más quieres de mi?’”

Drawing inspiration from her culture and background, Gutierrez isn’t just making an outfit; she’s designing a character. She’s constantly experimenting with new mediums and avoids labeling herself or limiting her work to a specific category. “I don’t even want to call myself an artist — I’m a creator.”

You can follow her on Instagram, @caterinagtz, to check out her work and get a peek at her day-to-day creative process. Right now, Gutierrez is arranging works to be featured in a local window display.

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2. Agosto Cuellar jiverefried.blogspot.com 3. Angelina Mata angelinamata.com

NEWS ANCHOR WINNER: Randy Beamer news4sanantonio.com 2. Isis Romero ksat.com 3. Leslie Mouton ksat.com

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Specializing in Boudoir and Fashion Inspired Portraiture RAVENREDPHOTO.COM | 210-526-1941 CALL FOR A COMPLIMENTARY CONSULTATION

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P E O P L E

with the ever-changing radio landscape that sees plenty of radio talent make their rounds in the industry, Rush said SA has so much going for it, he doesn’t see himself leaving anytime soon. In fact, he loves the city. “Too many radio people are focused on a big prize they never get — L.A., New York,” Rush explains. “To me, it’s about more than a market size. I’ve had opportunities to leave and try new things, but the people here are something special. There is no place else in the world like San Antonio.

What we have here is so unique and incredible.”

SPORTS PERSONALITY WINNER: Gregg Popovich nba.com/spurs

H RADIO TALK SHOW HOST WINNER: Russell Rush twitter.com/russellrush > Host of Mix 96.1’s The Russell Rush Show, which airs Monday through Friday from 2 to 7 p.m., Iowa-born radio talent Russell Rush made his way to San Antonio in 2005 and never looked back.

A graduate of St. Ambrose University, Rush, who is also an Emmy Awardwinning creator of the web series The Russell Rush Haunted Tour, worked at WBNQ in Bloomington, Illinois before taking on hosting duties at the SA radio station. He was named “Radio Personality of the Year” by the San Antonio Media Alliance in 2008. “Funny story, I almost skipped doing radio to go to law school,” Rush said. “My parents were almost proud of me.” We’re not sure how well he would’ve done in a courtroom defending jaywalkers, but Rush is a natural behind the mic. Even

> O Captain! My Captain! The places we’ve been, the sights we’ve seen, the nasty we’ve craved, the gold we’ve kissed and held aloft. Would we ever have experienced these great highs without Gregg Popovich at the helm of this mighty juggernaut that is our San Antonio Spurs? The one constant (besides Old Man River Walk) has been Gregg Charles Popovich, the curmudgeon with a heart of gold and a mind as well-suited for basketball strategy as any the world has ever seen. Why do we love Pop? Is it because of his famously terse treatment of reporters? You bet. The way he asks, “Is that it?,” leaving his enquirers shrinking into themselves? Sure. Is it because he has given us the greatest franchise in NBA history? Absolutely. But, mostly, it’s because Pop is what we’d all like to be: the best at what we do, no apologies, little fanfare, lots’a nasty.

2. Sean Elliott twitter.com/seanelliott_32 3. Greg Simmons twitter.com/gregsimmonsksat

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210-632-4628 10999 IH-10 West, ste #175 San Antonio TX

P E O P L E

LISA FISCHER Friday, April 29, 8pm

BURLESQUE TROUPE

LOCAL FILMMAKER

WINNER: Stars and Garters Burlesque starsandgartersburlesque.com

WINNER: Bryan Ortiz facebook.com/bryanortizdirector

> This wild gang of stripteasers is no stranger to Best of San Antonio, nabbing the title four years in a row for their retro-themed shows that feature a mix of classic vaudeville, burlesque routines, send-ups and special guests.

Now in its eighth season, the troupe recently shimmied over to the silver screen with The Film Strip, an evening that combined live entertainment with an exclusive screening of the Leslie Zemeckis documentary Behind the Burly Q. One thing’s for sure, the Alamo City’s longest-running burlesque troupe only gets better with age, and with the combined talents of ’60s siren Suki Jones, “The Transoceanic Tropical Tease” Black Orchid, the fiery bad girl Pystol Whips, sweet Coco Simone, the “pick up artist” team of the sultry Miss Lucky Strike and trained dancer Candy Cane, not to mention “sassy stage manager” Squirrely Temple, the 2016 season is sure to be its steamiest yet.

> Making his way to San Antonio by way of Brownsville in 2003, University of the Incarnate Word graduate Bryan Ortiz cut his teeth in the feature film arena with Doctor S Battles the Sex Crazed Reefer Zombies: The Movie in 2009. He also directed actress Lacey Chabert (Mean Girls) in the 2013 horror anthology Sanitarium. Recently, Ortiz, 31, has focused on more collaborative work by lending his talents (graphics, camerawork, lighting, editing, producing) to other local filmmakers, like Scott Langford (Remake) and YouTubers like Nathan Medina (Juice from the Box). He’s also lending a hand in the production of Alamo City Studios, a future production hub in San Antonio.

In the next year or two, Ortiz hopes to “create a strong short film” he can submit to the film festival circuit. “I’m not going to make the next Batman,” he said. “But I want to take my expertise from my other films and make something great.”

2. Zombie Bazaar Belly Dance zombiebazaar.org

2. Laura Varela • varelafilm.com

3. Pastie Pops • pastiepops.com

3. Sam Lerma twitter.com/samlerma

ALFREDO RODRIGUEZ Friday, May 13, 8pm

SAVION GLOVER & JACK DEJOHNETTE Saturday, May 28, 3pm

SHEILA E Saturday, June 4, 8pm

Tickets on sale now $35ea.

Ticketmaster: 1.800.745.3000 • Carver Box Office: 210.207.2234 • TheCarver.org sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 105

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P E O P L E

UPCOMING

CONCERTS ALL PERFORMANCES AT THE THE TOBIN CENTER MOZART CONCERTO FOR FLUTE AND HARP

April 29 & 30, 2016, 8:00 p.m.

Jacques Lacombe, conductor Martha Long, flute | Rachel Ferris, harp

H MASCOT WINNER: The Coyote > With a regular audience of 18,000 fans and over 12,000 followers on Twitter, the Spurs Coyote has a wide reach for his unique take on physical comedy. While the person behind the costume remains cloaked in anonymity, the Coyote is familiar to Spurs fans young and old, with a history that goes back to 1983.

Before social media, the original Spurs Coyote, Tim Derk, was plucked from relative obscurity after performing in a Cole Porter music revue. Presented by Spurs brass with concepts for an armadillo and a mustached cowboy, Derk countered with the furry varmint based on his affinity for Wile E. Coyote. During his 21-year tenure as Entertainus Carnivorous, Derk appeared at over 1,110 games, averaging almost 200 community events across San Antonio each season. His playful sense of humor, spot-on timing and overlooked athleticism entertained generations of Spurs fans, before Derk hung up the fur in 2004.

“I had a good run as the Coyote,”

Derk told Spurs Sports and Entertainment before joining the Spurs front office later that year. “I left it all on the table. I danced on the ceiling, I jumped through fire and I managed to avoid wearing long pants for 48 years.”

Today, the Coyote is a hoops icon that has traveled the globe, spreading hijinks across the hardwood and beyond. Averaging over 450 community appearances per year, it’s rare to run into someone who doesn’t have a Coyote story, making him, hands down, the most enduring mascot in SA.

MASSAGE THERAPIST WINNER: Robert Baldwin Baldwin Massage Therapy 8842 Broadway • (210) 336-8868 baldwinmassagetherapy.com 2. Jeanelle Stauffer The Tribe Strength and Conditioning 827 E. Rector St. • (480) 276-0195 thetribesc.com/about-us/focalmassage-recovery 3. Jessica Jenkins Heart and Sole Barefoot Massage and Yoga • 1864 Nacogdoches Road (210) 560-1992 • heelingsole.com

The Symphony’s own principal musicians, flautist Martha Long and harpist Rachel Ferris play Mozart’s Concerto for Flute and Harp, enhanced by the Czech flavor of Smetana’s Šárka, Janácek’s Cunning Little Vixen and Dvorák’s Scherzo capriccioso.

SAINT-SAËNS PIANO CONCERTO

May 6 & 7, 2016, 8:00 p.m.

Akiko Fujimoto, conductor | Martina Filjak, piano

This French-influenced program with the Piano Concerto No. 2 by Saint-Saëns, Franck’s thrilling Le Chasseur maudit, Delius’s A Walk to the Paradise Garden, and Bizet’s Symphony in C spotlights passion and vivacious energy.

Concert Sponsored by the Martha-Ellen Tye Foundation

BORN IN THE USA: PATRIOTIC POPS

May 13 & 14, 2016, 8:00 p.m. | May 15, 2016, 2:00 p.m.

Stuart Chafetz, conductor | Ron Nirenberg, narrator

Our final Pops concert of the season honors our veterans and armed service members with favorite patriotic selections including music of John Williams, Copland, Gershwin, Sousa, and great radio hits from the ’50s.

Concert Sponsored by

SARAH CHANG — BRUCH VIOLIN CONCERTO

May 20 & 21, 2016, 8:00 p.m.

Gabriel Feltz, conductor | Sarah Chang, violin

Her dazzling performance of Bruch’s Violin ConcertoNo.1displayswhysheisaninternational audience favorite. Rachmaninoff’s Symphony No. 1 is regarded as a genuine masterpiece; its composition was influenced by Tchaikovsky.

The appearance of Ms. Sarah Chang is sponsored by the Russell Hill Rogers Fund for the Arts

(210) 223-8624 | tobincenter.org sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 107

RETAMA PARK Join us for these upcoming events

May 6, 2016

April 28 - May 8, 2016

We look forward to seeing you for

racing season

2016

MAY

JUNE

JULY

7 - Derby 21 - Preakness

10 11 - Belmont

1 -2 8 -9 15 - 16 22 - 23 29 - 30

Opening quarter horse meet

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AUGUST September 5 -6 12 - 13 Closing quarter horse meet

Opening Thoroughbred meet

2 -3 9 - 10 16 - 17 23 - 24 30 -1

October 7 -8 14 - 15 21 - 22 28 - 29

November 4 -5 11 - 12 18 - 19 25 - 26

Closing thoroughbred meet

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Voted S.A.’s #1 for Karaoke

BEST KARAOKE BAR! 2015 2010 2014 2009 2013 2008 2011 2PM-2AM | 2615 Mossrock SA, TX 210-267-5703

SAN ANTONIO’S

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1711 Babcock Rd, SA, TX 78229 •Medical Center Area

(210) 973-5055

Early Bird Specials: Open at 8AM Tuesday-Friday!

Happy Hour 2-8pm Every Day & All Day Sunday

SHUT UP AND SING!

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N I G H T L I F E

•

Deer Vibes performing at Sam’s Burger Joint

NIGHTLIFE H = CRITIC’S PICK

MUSIC VENUE WINNER: Sam’s Burger Joint 330 E. Grayson St. • (210) 223-2830 samsburgerjoint.com > Perhaps most well-known as the go-to Americana spot in San Antonio, Sam’s Burger Joint is far more. The things these walls have seen. The instances of cultural advocacy, from conjunto forebears to rock ‘n’ roll icons, the evenings of drunken revelry — begging the gods, wine glass sloshing in hand, for an answer to the

112 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

eternal, burning question “Hey baby, qué pasó?” The ever-rotating, often returning cast of blue-collar bands playing Monday through Sunday, grinding for a little piece of that sweet pie called regional success. Sam’s is a haven for local legends and a springboard for those that hope to be. From its early days as a punk club, hosting some of the first Girl in a Coma gigs alongside the UK Subs, The Undead and other local, national and international notables, Sam’s has provided San Antonio with one of the most sincere mid-level venues in the region. Clearly, y’all agree.

2. The Aztec Theatre 104 N. St. Mary’s St. • (210) 812-4355 theaztectheatre.com 3. Paper Tiger 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. • papertigersa.com

MARGARITAS WINNER: La Gloria 100 E. Grayson St. • (210) 267-9040 chefjohnnyhernandez.com/lagloria > Frozen or on the rocks? It’s a question that has plagued indiscriminate margarita enthusiasts for decades. If you find yourself at La Gloria for happy hour craving one of the fresh Mexican cocktails, the correct answer is both. The popular restaurant at the Pearl might be best known for its south-of-the-border street eats, but, seriously, what are you supposed to wash all of chef Johnny Hernandez’s tacos al pastor down with anyway? La Gloria’s menu features three classic margaritas, all of which contain El Jimador

Reposado tequila, Patrón Citrónge and lime juice: Margarita de la Casa (includes lime zest), Margarita La Gloria (includes blue Curaçao) and the Prickly Pear Margarita (includes prickly pear and lime zest). On a

N I G H T L I F E recent trip to the restaurant around noon, there were quite a few blue concoctions with salty rims getting tipped back by guests. We’re not jealous or anything, but don’t you people have jobs!?

• Top Golf San Antonio

2. Chacho’s Multiple locations • chachos.com 3. La Fogata 2427 Vance Jackson Road (210) 340-1337 • lafogata.com

BARCADE WINNER: Top Golf 5539 North Loop 1604 W. (210) 202-2694 • topgolf.com > Top Golf has taken the Alamo City by storm in only its second year of operation. The multi-level driving range/bar/restaurant/game room in far northwest San Antonio is nothing short of a blast. While non-golfers might shy away from trying their hand at driving a few balls at the range, the family-friendly venue erases any anxiety through a mix of helpful staff, fantastic eats and an enormous variety of drinks. There are three levels at Top Golf with 100-plus hitting bays for groups.

Top Golf, however, brings a twist to the driving range with 11 targets between 20 and 240 yards. Each ball has a microchip that tracks accuracy and distance. To mix it up, there are also a number of games to challenge even the most experienced golfers.

SPORTS BAR WINNER: The Ticket Sports Pub 420 E. Houston St. • (210) 222-9722 ticketsportspub.com

2. Dave & Busters Multiple locations • daveandbusters.com

> Who doesn’t love to hang out with some friends, grab a few cold beers and watch Los Spurs put another beatdown on a hapless team and enjoy all of these in a cool place? A spot located smack dab in the heart of Downtown is the bar you’re looking for. Occupying a prime space on the corner of Houston and Losoya, the Ticket Sports Pub has been a hit with fans for a long time.

Devoted patrons can watch every NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB game and pretty much everything else on more than a dozen high-def TVs. Hungry? The Ticket’s got pizza, wings, nachos and more … whatever your sports belly is begging for. Thirsty? You can get shots such as Picklebacks, Purple Geckos, Irish Car Bombs or cocktails like the Roadrunner or the Red Rocket. Oh, yeah, and there’s beer. Lots and lots of beer. The Ticket has a great atmosphere and is just a short saunter from the River Walk.

3. Slackers 126 W. Rector St., Suite 136 (210) 286-6208 • slackerssa.com

2. Slackers 126 W. Rector St., Suite 136 (210) 286-6208 • slackerssa.com

3. Twin Peaks Multiple locations twinpeaksrestaurant.com

BARTENDER WINNER: Bobby Sanchez (Liberty Bar) 1111 S. Alamo St. • (210) 227-1187 liberty-bar.com > Eight years ago in his hometown of Laredo, Bobby Sanchez boasted to a bar owner that he could do a better job bartending than anyone working

there. Although he was bluffing, he learned quickly and has never looked back. Since moving to San Antonio in 2010 and landing a job at Liberty Bar, Sanchez has beefed up his knowledge of spirits, wine and beer while building a faithful following of Southtown barflies. Inspired in part by San Antonio’s expanding cocktail culture, Sanchez worked with manager Katie McKee to create a cocktail program featuring drinks that are intentionally approachable and easily produced.

Now three years old, the program includes original concoctions and takes on classics (the potent Pepe’s Last Word combines Centinela Añejo Tequila, Génépy des Alpes Luxardo Maraschino Liquer, fresh serrano pepper and lime). If you’ve yet to see Sanchez in action, hit him up during one of LB’s two daily happy hours (5-7 p.m. and 10 p.m.-midnight), when well drinks, drafts (all local brews) and house wines are all $2 off.

2. Ritchey Cox (Pegasus) 1402 N. Main Ave. pegasussanantonio.com 3. Elisabeth Forsythe (Barbaro) 2720 McCullough Ave. • (210) 320-2261 barbarosanantonio.com

•

The Ticket

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N I G H T L I F E

•

Paramour

WINNER: The Brooklynite 516 Brooklyn Ave. • (210) 444-0707 thebrooklynitesa.com > The Brooklynite (or BKSA) was one of the city’s first truly crafty craft bars, and it would be easy for them to rest on their obscure herbal bitters and arcane boozes. Not so. Though the staff behind the bar may change (stalwart Rob Gourlay has just moved on to one of founder Jeret Peña’s newest ventures, Rumble on St. Mary’s), the drinks are ever-inventive. Many of them are named

by Stephan Mendez, who holds out at another Peña enterprise, The Last Word, but don’t consider them simply clever. Mezcalculated consists of a beautiful blend of, yes, mezcal, rum, baked apple bitters and honey; Cross My Heart and Hope for Rye takes spicy rye and smoky mezcal and pairs them with a house pecan cordial, sweet vermouth and another specialty bitters; and Pearl Snaps and Beard Oil starts with reposado tequila and a rinse of potent Douglas Fir liqueur. Tiki Tuesday is about to get reinvigorated with a menu that concentrates on traditional tiki and today’s take on it. Put on a sassy floral shirt and sashay on down.

2. Paramour 102 9th St., Suite 400 • (210) 340-9880 paramourbar.com 3. Bohanan’s Bar 219 E. Houston St. • (210) 472-2600 bohanans.com

• The Brooklynite

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COCKTAIL BAR WINNER: Paramour 102 9th St., Suite 400 • (210) 340-9880 paramourbar.com > Mistress, lover, sideboo. Paramour might hearken thoughts of illicit affairs, but San Antonio has decidedly made its latest rooftop bar its main squeeze.

Housed on the fourth floor of The Phipps and loftily sitting atop several attorney law offices, Paramour took long enough to open (something like 10 months since it was first announced), but the wait was more than worth it. It’s not all in the bougie view, sprawling patio and plush seating, sharply dressed bartenders (most of which you’ll recognize from Bohanan’s and other area cocktail bars), wino’s wet dream wine list or the exquisite people-watching (seriously, who GOES here?), either. The cocktails, created by a handful of managers and all bearing cheeky monikers such as the

Insignificant Other, Forever Single or No New Friends, are the perfect accessory for rooftop sipping. Cuddle up to your paramour on one of the neon leather couches, sip a barrel-aged offering (all aged at least a year) and toast to SA’s Best Cocktail Bar of 2016.

2. The Esquire Tavern 155 E. Commerce St. • (210) 222-2521 esquiretavern-sa.com 3. The Brooklynite 516 Brooklyn Ave. • (210) 444-0707 thebrooklynitesa.com

DIVE BAR WINNER: Texas T Pub 121 Broadway • (210) 271-1058 > OK, so, maybe, occasionally, while draining a tallboy or tossing back a tequila shot you might get a little whiff of poo. If that’s a problem for you … don’t

let the door hit ya on your way out of the lime-piss-green bar on Broadway.

Positioned next to a haberdashery (that’s distinguished) and just down the street from its sister-in-squalor, the Traveler’s Hotel, the Texas T Pub has cheap drinks, a big-screen TV, a digital one-armed bandit, peanuts and chips, pool tables and an internet jukebox.

What more do you want from a local dive? Unfortunately, the $30-a-night Traveler’s Hotel was recently purchased and will soon be “upgraded” to a luxury hotel, so what better way to say goodbye to the infamous flophouse that you most likely never stayed in (and say hello to Downtown gentrification) than lamenting its departure with some seriously economical drinks and a friendly bar staff … at 9 a.m.?

2. Joey’s 2417 N. St. Mary’s St. • (210) 733-9573 facebook.com/joeyssanantonio 3. Hi-Tones 621 E. Dewey Pl. • hitonessa.com

JEFFREY BURTON

COCKTAIL PROGRAM

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center of the universe

CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE 20 MILE CHALLENGE!!!

Ride your bike from downtown San Antonio to Hills & Dales anytime

before may 31st, 2016 and receive your choice of a 4-pack of tickets to a San Antonio FC game or a 4-pack of tickets to Schlitterbahn.

(Limit 1 prize pack per person)

KID & DOG FRIENDLY • SPURS GAMES ON THE OUTDOOR SLAB CINEMA

3PM - Midnight SPECIALS! Monday

$3.50 Oskar Blues 12oz cans Dale’s Pale Ale, Pinner IPA, Mama’s & Blue Dream IPA

Tuesday

ALL DAY SPECIALS!

Home of the

HUrricane

Live Music on Patio Dueling Piano Bar DJ’s Upstairs

Saturday

$3.50 Bud Light, Miller Lite & Coors 16oz. Pints

Sunday

$15 Karbach 12oz cans bucket

$3.50 All Local SATX Pints

Wednesday

$3.50 Saint Arnold Specials, 16oz Tallboy Santo & Lawnmower cans

Thursday

$3 Nebraska Brewing 12oz Cans

Friday

$2.75 Bud Light 16oz. Bottles

210-220-1076 121 ALAMO PLAZA

15403 White Fawn Dr. 116 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

Visit PatObriens.com/SanAntonio for schedule of events

76 TAPS

FRIENDLY EATS TILL

MIDNIGHT

OF

7 DAYS A WEEK

CRAFT BREW

KID & DOGGIE

&

FRIENDLY

OVER 300 BOTTLE

ICE HOUSE

CAN CHOICES

943 South Alamo • 210.224.BEER (2337)

BEST CUSTOMERS

BEST PLACE TO MAKE FRIENDS BEST PLACE TO CATCH THE SPURS

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BEST PLACE TO ENJOY A COLD BEER

BEST PLACE TO BE YOURSELF

CATCH ALL THE SPURS PLAYOFF ACTION AND

MOVIES ON THE HUGE SLAB CINEMA! M O N - F R I 3 P - 1 2 A • S A T - S U N 1 1A - 1 2 A

FRIENDLY GROWLERS AVAILABLE | FRIENDLY EATS TILL MIDNIGHT sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 117

The hidden cocktail gem of Alamo Heights

tails k c o C c Classi ing Summer

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Refres

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fus n I e s Hou

s y e k s Whi e

Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner & everything in-between!

FULL BAR OPENS AT 7AM! Sun: 11 am - 2 am | Mon-Sat: 7 am - 2 am | 5562 Fredericksburg Rd. In the Medical Center

in W & r Bee versation on Good C

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HOURS: 4pm - 2pm Seven days a week • 4901 Broadway, Suite 130

Mon-Fri 4pm-2am Sat-Sun 7pm-2am Happy Hour 4pm-7pm Mon-Fri 118 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

N I G H T L I F E

H BAR FOOD/HAPPY HOUR WINNER: Francis Bogside 803 S. St. Mary’s St., (210) 988-3093 francisbogside.com > Since opening last September, the Steve Mahoney-produced joint has won hearts over not just within our ranks, but across the city’s core with its varied and inventive menu.

And don’t you dare call it grub. Sure, you’ll find the cheesy Bogside Burger ($10) for those serious appetites, but that’s where the usual bar snacks come to a grinding halt. Where else can you find scratch-made a fried chicken sandwich, steak sandwich, green curry and lustful poutine to go with your Guinness or Irish Old Fashivoned? But the kitchen (which pulls double duty as Brigid, Francis’ fine dining sister restaurant) likes to play it fast and loose with a globetrotting menu. Nosh on cabrito one day, crawfish boil the next and Nawlins-inspired étouffée on the third day — you’re likely to find a new favorite regardless of the time of day. At Franky Bogs, the food comes dangerously close to surpassing the

• Bonham Exchange

cocktail program for best reason to visit.

When it comes to their happy hour offerings, Francis Bogside throws caution to the wind with specials all day Monday, and Tuesday through Friday from 4 to 7 p.m. with $1 wells, drafts, domestic bottles and $4 Jameson shots. The deals get even sweeter from 10 pm. to 2 a.m. with $5 classics.

SUNDAY FUNDAY & PURO ICE HOUSE WINNER: The Friendly Spot 943 S. Alamo St. • (210) 224-2337 thefriendlyspot.com

• Francis Bogside

SUNDAY FUNDAY 2. Pegasus Nightclub 1402 N. Main Ave. • pegasussanantonio.com

3. Wurzbach Ice House 10141 Wurzbach Road • (210) 877-2100 wurzbachicehouse.com

3. Alamo Ice House 802 N. Alamo St. • (210) 758-5151 alamoicehouse.com

GAY BAR/DANCE CLUB

PURO ICEHOUSE 2. Alamo Ice House 802 N. Alamo St. • (210) 758-5151 alamoicehouse.com

WINNER: Bonham Exchange 411 Bonham St. • (210) 271-3811 bonhamexchange.com GAY BAR 2. Heat Nightclub 1500 N. Main Ave. • (210) 227-2600 heatsa.com 3. Sparky’s Pub 1416 N. Main Ave. • (210) 320-5111 sparkyspub.com DANCE CLUB 2. Heat Nightclub 1500 N. Main Ave. • (210) 227-2600 heatsa.com 3. Brass Monkey 2702 N. St. Mary’s St. • (210) 480-4722 facebook.com/brassmonkeytx

HOOKAH BAR WINNER: Gorilla Hookah Lounge 8373 Culebra Road, Suite 106

(210) 827-7549 • facebook.com/gorillahookah 2. Hookah Harem 6862 Ingram Road • hookahharem.com 3. Naara Cafe 9329 Wurzbach Road, Suite 101 (210) 558-9800 • naaracafe.com

LESBIAN BAR WINNER: Sparky’s Pub 1416 N. Main Ave. • (210) 320-5111 sparkyspub.com 2. Wax Club Lounge 2211 San Pedro Ave. • (210) 379-4788 facebook.com/waxclublounge 3. Silver Dollar Saloon 1812 N. Main Ave. • (210) 227-2623

MEAT MARKET BAR WINNER: Pegasus Nightclub 1402 N. Main Ave. pegasussanantonio.com 2. Paramour 102 9th St., Suite 400 • (210) 340-9880 paramourbar.com 3. The Mix

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120 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

Super Nova #2 10708 Perrin Beitel Rd

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Super Nova #3 9355 Culebra Rd.

Super Nova #4 8400 Marbach Rd.

SupernovaSmokeShop

Super Nova #5 11851 Bandera Rd. #118

Open until midnight Fri. & Sat.

@supernovasmokes

Newest Rooftop NightClub in San Antonio!

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Tuesday-Saturday: 10:00 pm - 2:00 am Reserve Your Table: (210) 858-9028 #belush

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121 BROADWAY • (210)271-1058 sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 121

Open 12p-2a Daily

Happy Hour 12p-7p Every Day!

New Flavors • New Menu • BYOB • Entertainment Every Day

25% OFF HOOKAH ANY SINGLE OR DOUBLE FLAVOR!

Wednesday Reverse Happy Hour 12PM - 2AM Thursday-Saturday Open Until 3AM Weekly Dart & Pool Tournaments

Great Draft & Bottle Beer Selection

11807 West Avenue @ Blanco | 210.616.2144| FatRacksSportsBar.com

122 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

1255 SW Loop 410, Ste 133 | SA, TX (210) 673-3650 | 6PM - 2AM | ravenhookah.com

N I G H T L I F E

CRAFT BEER SELECTION WINNER: The Cove 606 W. Cypress St. • (210) 227-2683 thecove.us 2. Flying Saucer Draught Emporium 11255 Huebner Road, Suite 212 (210) 696-5080 • beerknurd.com 3. The Friendly Spot 943 S. Alamo St. • (210) 224-2337 thefriendlyspot.com

LOCAL BREWERY WINNER: Alamo Beer Co. 415 Burnet St. • (210) 872-5589 alamobeer.com > When it comes to craft beer in the city of San Antonio, the good folks at Alamo Beer Co. are waving the banners and leading the metaphorical charge. Since the first batch of their Alamo Golden Ale flowed forth in 2003, Alamo Beer Co. has made it their mission to return San Antonio to its former place as the beer capital of Texas.

The brewery, beer garden and beer hall, located underneath the historic

Hays Street Bridge, all family- and pet-friendly, are now open to the public and have quickly become a hit with not only their neighbors but with a majority of the beer lovers in town.

Now with four beers in their arsenal (adding the Alamo Amber Lager, the Alamo Pilsner and the Alamo German Pale Ale), Alamo Beer has become a can’t-miss attraction in the heart of the city.

2. Freetail Brewing Company Multiple locations freetailbrewing.com 3. Blue Star Brewing Co. 1414 S. Alamo St., Suite 105 (210) 212-5506 • bluestarbrewing.com

EXOTIC DANCERS WINNER: Essence 1010 N. Main Ave. • (210) 223-5418 facebook.com/clubessencesa 2. Hardbodies Ladies Club 2726 N. St. Mary’s St. • (210) 736-4865 hardbodiesclub.com 3. Sugar’s 2731 NW Loop 410 • (210) 340-1289

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Open 3p-2a Everyday • Happy Hour 3-7pm Daily

“Fiesta 2016 owes a large part of its success to the BEST people in SA. To all the River Rats, to all those who served the thousands of tourists and locals, and those who live, work, play downtown 24/7, VIVA FIESTA & THANK YOU!” - The Local Bar MONDAYS: $3 COSMOS ALL DAY TUESDAYS: SHOT SPECIALS ALL DAY: $2.75 WELLS $2 ZIEGENBOCK DRAFT “RIVER RAT SPECIAL” ALWAYS PSYCHIC HAPPY HOUR EVERY TUESDAY : FROM 6:30-8:30 DJ and No Cover Saturday Nights

N. Presa St.

E. Houston St.

College St.

RIVERTINI AWARD WINNER 600 N. Presa St. Inside the Maverick Building 210.267.9885 THELOCALBARSA.COM LIKE US ON FB: THELOCALBARSA

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Northstar

GAMES MORE THAN 12 VINTAGE ARCADE GAMES!

LIFE SIZE SOCCER POOL!

All new Frozen Drink Bar

featuring 14 Flavors like: Spicy Margarita, Cherry Garcia & Hurricane

voted best sports bar in San antonio

126 W. Rector Dr., STe 136

Open 7 Days A Week • Mon-Fri: 2p-2A • Sat-Sun 11Am • slackerssa.com make slackers your go to spurs destination this season!

Naco

12234 nacogdoches rd. at thousand oaks 126 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

N I G H T L I F E deserve it. Bonus: You’ll still have plenty left for an order of mini asada tacos from El Regio down the street.

2. Hi-Tones 621 E. Dewey Pl. • hitonessa.com

KARAOKE BAR

3. Pegasus Nightclub 1402 N. Main Ave. pegasussanantonio.com

WINNER: Dad’s Karaoke 2615 Mossrock Drive • (210) 267-5703 facebook.com/dadskaraoke 2. Little Woodrow’s Multiple locations littlewoodrows.com 3. Oak Hills Tavern 7920 Fredericksburg Road • (210) 614-8855

PLACE WITH CHEAP DRINKS WINNER: Brass Monkey 2702 N. St. Mary’s St. • (210) 480-4722 facebook.com/brassmonkeytx > Good ol’ Brass. When you’ve got $15 to your name and have to wash down the week’s worth of workrelated bullshit, there’s always 75-cent wells to help ease you onto the dance floor during Thurzgayz with VJ Glitoris. Need to get straight to the point of no return? There’s a $2 Fireball for that. The rest of the weekend doesn’t deviate much further than these steals with specials hovering just at the $3 mark and $2 “anything” being the special du jour on Sundays. The St. Mary’s Strip staple offers plenty of options for boozing whether you want to chill on the patio or pick a new grinding partner inside. Go ahead and double up on those 75-cent well pours — you

COUNTRY BAR WINNER: Cowboys Dancehall 3030 NE Loop 410 • (210) 646-9378 cowboysdancehall.com/san-antonio 2. SA Country Saloon 10127 Coachlight St. • (210) 525-0915 3. Thirsty Horse 2335 NW Military Hwy. • (210) 348-1513 thirstyhorse.net

WINE BAR WINNER: Nectar Wine Bar & Ale House • 214 Broadway, Suite 109 (210) 375-4082 • nectarsa.com 2. Max’s Wine Dive 340 E. Basse Road, Suite 101 (210) 444-9547 maxswinedive.com 3. Copa Wine Bar 19141 Stone Oak Pkwy., Suite 704 (210) 495-2672 • thecopawinebar.com

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v

BEER GARDEN, GROWLERS, CRAFTY FOOD

NOW TAPPIN’!

JAMESON BACON BURGER

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Busted Sandal El Robusto Porter Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout Twisted X Senor Viejo Leprechaun Pomegranate Cider

48 TAPS, 60 bottles, cans, bombers, and Texas wines!

CLUBHOUSE SALAD

Growler Hour 3P-6P Mon.-Fri.

$1 off 32oz & $2 off 64oz Fills

Keg Floatin’ Tuesdays $2.50 pints of selected craft beer!

NOW OPEN AT THE RIM. SPORTS FANS UNITE!

Scan for On Tap Live View 4 LOCATIONS TO SERVE YOU: ALAMO HEIGHTS: 5148 Broadway • 210-822-7673 LIVE OAK: 8211 Agora Pkwy #112 • 210-547-3000

PARK NORTH: 842 NW Loop 410 • 210-798-4154 THE RIM: 17627 La Cantera • 210-798-5466

thelionandrose.com

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3P TO MIDNIGHT MON-FRI • NOON TO MIDNIGHT SATURDAY & SUNDAY 19178 Blanco Rd (just before Huebner) 210.479.5445 • www.Claude-hoppers.com

TUES - SAT, 5PM TO 2AM | 244 WEST HOUSTON | 210.229.1833

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SHOWCASING SAN ANTONIO’S LOCAL DJ’S SPECIALIZING IN MOTOWN, R&B & CLASSIC HIP HOP (210) 281-8383 501 E CROCKETT ST, SA, TX 78205 GROOVE210.COM

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N I G H T L I F E by the owners’ mothers — and the crushed red velvet loveseats, antique coffee tables and skee-ball machine, yes, skee-ball machine, all collected via Craigslist browsing and/or local dealers. With a daily six-hour-long happy hour in which only oldies are played, you’re not exactly begging for the trendiest “tastemakers” to barrage your spot, bedazzled selfie sticks in hand. The three owners, Jenn Alva, Jamie Hoppe and Phanie Diaz, want a San Antonio bar that caters to San Antonians, spares you the omnipresent Top 40 tripe and is a welcoming and inclusive place for anyone who wants a taste of proud, honest, sincere San Antonio.

Still have a sweet tooth? visit SACurrent.com

Charlie Brown’s Neighborhood Bar & Grill Join Us for Happy Hour

Mon-Fri 2pm-6pm Specials Daily

Watch all the Playoff Action Here!

H MICHELADA H NEW BAR WINNER: The Bang Bang Bar 119 El Mio Drive • (210) 320-1187 facebook.com/thebangbangbar210 > In this day and age, it says a lot about an establishment when they don’t claim to want to “revolutionize the city’s nightlife experience” or be an exclusive, VIP-only lounge, catering to Spurs, their wives and their sides.

As San Antonio continues to grow and evolve, it seems important to the city, as it should, that we grow “the right way.” Now, what could possibly be the right way? That’s subjective, of course, but we tend to lean toward the image of a bar or venue that pulls from the strengths of the city, the culture and beauty that is already here, rather than become part of the “gentrifical force” that is sweeping through the “realest” neighborhoods in the United States.

The Bang Bang Bar never imported their fine antiquities, from the TV frames holding the liquor behind the bar — collected from locals — to the records spanning the bartop — given

WINNER: The Pig Pen 106 Pershing Ave., (210) 267-9136 thepigpensa.com > Leave it to the guy behind the Smoke Shack’s Big Dog, which combines a link of sausage, brisket, pulled pork and two barbecue sauces all topped with vinegar slaw and enveloped in a fresh hoagie, to create our new favorite michelada. Unlike micheladas around town that load up on tomato juice, Worcestershire, black pepper or a combination of all three, The Pig Pen’s iteration, created by owner Chris Conger, is an exercise in restraint. Though we’re not ones to ask for secret recipes, The Pig Pen’s michelada mix ( also used for their bloody marys) delicately combines tomato juice, a hint of Worcestershire and a hint of pickle or olive juice or both as paired with either a Modelo Especial or Corona Extra. It doesn’t stop there. This michelada comes topped with a slice of Smoke Shack’s house brisket — the bar goes through half a pound on weekdays, and several pounds worth on weekends — which adds a layer of umami and smoke you didn’t know you needed.

Karaoke • Trivia Live Music

11888 Starcrest | 210 496-7092 Charlie-Browns.com

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Drop Ins Welcome

Tuesday- friday 9am- 5pm, Saturdays 9am- 12pm

2313 N St Mary’s St • (210) 734- 8787 134 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

1416-1500 North MAIN AVENUE

SPINNING, FROM LONDON

WAYNE G

Cruising the strip 9-11pm 01

75¢ wells!

16

9:00-9:30

T EL HEA EL KNOCKO

UT

09

49

EL

10:30-11:00

FRIDAY, APRIL 22

RS

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9:30-10:00

10:00-10:30

NO COBLVOCKEPRARTY

FeAturing 2 time Grammy winning DJ/Producer

TONY MORAN

FOR

EL SPA

RKYS

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SUN,MON, TUES & THURS KARAOKE: 9PM - 2AM $3 "You Call It" Friday's 4-7pm FRIDAY AND SATURDAY LIVE DJ WITH COUNTRY DANCING SUNDAY FUNDAY Free Pool, Corn Hole, & Super Jenga

here Everyone is

welcome 21 & UP

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Bowling Clubs • FUNdraisers• Catering Birthday Parties • Team Building Events Exciting Bar Events• Company Parties 6700 Huebner Road, Leon Valley, Texas 78238 • 210-523-1716 • check us out @ banderabowlingcenter.com 136 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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GET TICKETS @ BANDERA BOWLING CENTER: 6700 HUEBNER RD. LEON VALLEY, TX 78238 F O R M O R E I N F O R M AT I O N : DANIEL MOORE: (210) 900-5666

N I G H T L I F E

• Liberty Bar

BLOODY MARY 2. The Esquire Tavern 155 E. Commerce St. • (210) 222-2521 esquiretavern-sa.com 3. The Pig Pen 106 Pershing Ave. • (210) 267-9136 thepigpensa.com

H HOTEL BAR PLACE TO NURSE A HANGOVER/ BLOODY MARY WINNER: Liberty Bar 1111 S. Alamo St. (210) 227-1187 • liberty-bar.com > Whether it’s the airy setting, unpretentious vibe or ironic allure of recuperating (and/or retoxing) in a former convent, Southtown favorite Liberty Bar proves an ideal destination to comb through the hair of the dog that bit you.

During its bustling brunch (9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday and Sunday), the salmon-colored melting pot adds chilaquiles norteños and other eggy concoctions to its menu of “serious food” — which includes both straightforward American fare, pizza, pasta and dishes inspired by classic Mexican recipes. Pulling in an additional win in our readers’ poll, Liberty’s perfectly spiced bloody marys (crafted with a house-made mix) have been known to assist in the recovery process. Scratch-made desserts like coconut custard and Virginia Green’s famous chocolate cake only sweeten the deal.

PLACE TO NURSE A HANGOVER 2. Theory Coffee 2347 Nacogdoches Road • (512) 507-3025 3. Slackers 126 W. Rector St., Suite 136 (210) 286-6208 • slackerssa.com

WINNER: Sternewirth 136 E. Grayson St. • (210) 448-8300 thehotelemma.com > We know we’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but it’s hard not to fall for Sternewirth’s dazzle the minute you step into the space.

Cloaked in Hotel Emma’s signature scent and filled with supple leather couches and a collection of artwork and tchotchkes from yesteryear, Sternewirth (named for free workday beer San Antonio Brewing Company employees were allowed during their shift, or “the Sternewirth Privilege”) sets the stage for highclass wind downs. The interiors, designed by Roman and Williams, a Manhattan-based firm, serve as the bucolic setting for bartenders in uniform chef’s coats and dark jeans and cocktails the likes of The Three Emmas, a gin-based, booze-fueled drink based on an even juicier story of Otto Koehler, three, well, Emmas, illicit affairs and (cue the Law & Order: Special Victims Unit bong here) murder. The bar’s opening menu was a hit with regulars, but expect a new rum-filled menu to land within the next few weeks. And don’t make this a weekend hang either; you’ll want to enjoy Sternewirth’s every nook and cubby (the metal fermentation tanks that are now filled with cozy seating and innumerable throw pillows) on weekday afternoons when the relative calm of the boutique hotel and a cold cocktail in hand can help you soak in Emma’s rich history.

Thu. 4/21 NIOSA After party fri. 4/22 fiesta party all day & all night

sat. 4/23 12 th Annual Fiesta de Lizard Crawfish Boil & Drink Specials All Day!

dj tee rock bringing down the house all 3 nights!

R E V O C A NEVER 21 & up s y a w l a

8

(210) 271-9494 302 E. Commerce (between presa & navarro) sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 137

ON TAP

Serving San Antonio since 1972

! s u h t i w a t s e i F Specials all of Fiesta: h t 4 2 h t 4 1 l i r Ap

6310 Callaghan Rd • 342-7321 | 11am to 2am Everyday 138 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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Home to seventeen world-class restaurants, fourteen totally unique shops, the best coffee in Texas, cocktails for every season and reason, the weekly Pearl farmers market, the San Antonio Campus of the Culinary Institute of America, and the unique luxury of Hotel Emma.

All on the banks of the Museum Reach of the San Antonio River.

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A R O U N D T O W N

H = CRITIC’S PICK

H VIEW IN THE CITY WINNER: Hays Street Bridge > First erected in 1910, the Hays Street Bridge has watched modernday SA grow into what it is today.

The Countdown City has gradually spread out and grown taller in front of the bridge’s East Side perch between Cherry and Austin Streets, so it makes sense that the span is the best view in the entire city.

Standing on the elevated expanse provides a full view of the central

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underneath the bridge itself. It’s all part of taking in the view and of thinking about what San Antonio is becoming.

MICHELLE LORENTZEN

AROUND TOWN

city. It gives us a sense of how San Antonio is arranged — from the Alamodome in the east, to the Tower of the Americas, then moving toward the Tower Life Building and the rest of Downtown. It’s a complete view from a seldom-seen angle. From the bridge’s vantage point, the buildings almost look like models or toys, a view that’s reinforced by the vehicles whirring along US 281 in front of the panorama.

But the longer you remain on the bridge, and the farther along you walk, the more the city reveals itself to you. North of Downtown, you can see the Pearl and the tower at Trinity University. Temple BethEl’s orange dome looms over the trees in the distance. While you’re up there, turn around and inspect each angle it has to offer. You can see how the space is changing, the clearest evidence of which is right

PLACE TO HAVE SEX WINNER: Brackenridge Park 3700 N. St. Mary’s St. (210) 207-8480 2. Sexology Institute & Boutique 727 S. Alamo St. • (210) 487-0371 sexologyinstitute.com 3. The River Walk (210) 227-4262 thesanantonioriverwalk.com

PET ADOPTION WINNER: San Antonio Pets Alive

Multiple locations sanantoniopetsalive.org 2. San Antonio Humane Society 4804 Fredericksburg Road (210) 226-7461 sahumane.org 3. Animal Defense League 11300 Nacogdoches Road (210) 655-148 • adltexas.org

NAN PALMER

•

Hays Street Bridge

A R O U N D T O W N

PATIO

pepperoni slices that most alleys offer.

It’s hard to feel too bad about rolling two gutter balls in a row when you have fried quail, charcuterie boards and an Old Fashioned back at the table.

A couple things to keep in mind: The lanes become 18-and-up after 7 p.m., unless the kiddos have an adult with them. And it’s not a bad idea to call ahead to reserve your lane in advance — especially on weekends when they get booked fast.

WINNER: The Cove 606 W. Cypress St. • (210) 227-2683 thecove.us > Applaud The Cove for making it difficult to not visit their patio.

Beyond the great grub, the venerable burger, nacho and fish taco joint has eliminated any excuse to stay away.

Got kids? Bring ‘em; they’ll love clambering all over the playground (which is probably why The Cove was also voted “Best Place to Take the Family”). Feel guilty about leaving your dog at home? The patio is pet-friendly and even has a little dog park. Don’t want to miss the game?

It’s not hard to position yourself in front of the TV. There’s no shortage of spots to sit, and the people watching is pretty solid. With plenty of craft beers on tap at the outdoor bar, it’s a wonder anyone ever leaves The Cove’s patio at all (maybe that’s why they’re closed Mondays — to clear all those lingerers out).

2. The Friendly Spot • 943 S. Alamo St. (210) 224-2337 • thefriendlyspot.com 3. La Gloria • Multiple locations chefjohnnyhernandez.com/lagloria

H PLACE TO GET HIGH WINNER: San Antonio River > There are few things more relaxing than floating down a lazy river, all of the worries of the world drifting away like leaves in a stream. And, if you’re not one of the THC-anxiety afflicted, there are few more easy-going and safe places to take a little toke than kayaking on the San Antonio River. The calm, slow-moving pace of the stream

2. Bandera Bowling Center 6700 Huebner Road • (210) 523-1716 banderabowlingcenter.com 3. Main Event Multiple locations • mainevent.com

makes it the perfect waterway for a leisurely drift. With numerous San Antonio River Authority-approved vendors offering equipment rentals, you can save a little of that kayak or canoe money and spend it on some sticky icky.

Of course, if you want to go in for your own kayak or canoe, there’s nothing wrong with repeat trips blowing smoke signals. Letting the weight of the world melt off you with each pull from your favorite little pocket pipe is sure to be rewarding.

As the river has recently undergone restoration, particularly south of Downtown on the Mission Reach, which extends for a full eight miles from South Alamo Street past Mission Espada, there is plenty of open water to relax and enjoy a bowl or two without running into too much traffic, the park police or otherwise. And for those that are apprehensive about breaking the law, particularly with a substance that has a tendency to distinctly stink, just pop an edible and think about the rapidly approaching days of legal weed.

BOWLING ALLEY

BATHROOM TO SNEAK INTO DURING FIESTA

WINNER: Bowl & Barrel 17619 La Cantera Pkwy., Suite 102 (210) 920-1102 bowlandbarrel.com/sanantonio

WINNER: Mi Tierra Restaurant & Bakery 218 Produce Row • (210) 225-1262 mitierracafe.com

> Bowling a few frames isn’t a stressful experience, but rarely is it as cushy as it is at Bowl & Barrel. To call the far North Side lanes a mere “bowling alley” doesn’t do them justice.

The food and drink — furnished by The General Public next door — ­ trumps the plasti-cheese nachos and reheated

2. Sexology Institute & Boutique 727 S. Alamo St. • (210) 487-0371 sexologyinstitute.com 3. The Friendly Spot 943 S. Alamo St. • (210) 224-2337 thefriendlyspot.com

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Name this flag.

DIXIEFLAG.COM

LIKE FLAGS? Follow us on

Dixie Flag and Banner Company is a family-owned business that has been proudly producing and selling flags, banners, flag poles & decor in San Antonio since 1958. We sell all types of custom and stock flags, banners, decorative products, and hardware to individuals, organizations and businesses. We invite you to come to our store, give us a call, or visit us online for more information on our products, services, and company.

to learn more flag history, etiquette & trivia.

1930 N Interstate 35, SA, TX 78208. | (210)227-5039 144 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

delight Bring Amazon customer orders to life

Amazon is growing in San Antonio.

We’re proud to be bringing more jobs to the San Antonio community. With full-time and part-time positions available, we have jobs that fit your lifestyle!

As an Amazon Associate, you'll get to work with the latest technology in a fun and fast-paced environment.

Best of all, you’re you’ the one behind the smile when that package arrives.

Ready to start? You can apply at:

amazon.com/apply

Or join our Talent Community, we’ll let you know about jobs near you:

amazon.com/tc

Amazon is an Affirmative Action - Equal Opportunity Employer - Minority / Female / Disability / Veteran

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BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW AT BRUNCH.SACURRENT.COM

Sun., April 24th • 9:30AM

ALL TYPES OF SCOOTERS WELCOME!!!

Bring this ad in and save $200 off MSRP on ANY new scooter in stock -or10% off any accessories!

2423 Austin Hwy | (210) 654-0211 themotorcycleshopsa.com 146 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

A R O U N D T O W N JUSTIN MOORE

H URBAN LEGEND WINNER: Donkey Lady > Honk if you’ve heard this one before — if you dare.

There are multiple variations of a South Side legend about the bridge over Elm Creek by Applewhite and W. Jett Roads, including honking or calling upon the Donkey Lady to have a truly terrifying experience. While methods of contacting the Donkey Lady can be different — there was a phone number people used to be able to call to hear her hee-haw before the clippity-clop of her evil hooves drew closer — depending on who the storyteller is, one common thread is fire.

As the story goes, a young woman promised her first child to the priesthood but eventually changed her mind. Then her house caught fire, killing her children and severely disfiguring her with sagging skin and leaving the woman nubs for limbs, hence the Donkey Lady moniker. That tale is from When Darkness Falls, a book of San Anto paranormal stories that classifies the Donkey Lady as a La Llorona, a weeping female spirit (a common piece of lore throughout Texas and Mexico). Or, as another telling goes, a family offended a wealthy

man who was abusing their donkey.

For revenge, the man brought a mob, locked the family in their house and burned them all to death, or so they thought. Instead, a fiery figure bounded out of the fire and hurled itself into Elm Creek, never to be seen again, according to one author who shared the story told to him when he was young on

the Texas Cryptid Hunter blog.

You know the rest: a terrifying figure barrels toward a car, smashing its windshield while moving at unworldly speeds. But who knows? The only way to find out is to head down to Elm Creek and find out for yourself.

Marquez and Nilaya Milan Raven, all brought to you by Heat Nightclub, Pegasus, Essence, Bonham Exchange, Babios and Silver Dollar. Last year, Out in the Park at Fiesta Texas was like a dream, and this year looks to be no different.

NON-FIESTA FESTIVAL

2. Texas Folklife Festival texasfolklife.org

WINNER: Out in the Park 1700 I-10 W. • (210) 697-5050 facebook.com/reylopezentertainment

3. Luminaria luminariasa.org

> San Antonio made history with the first family-friendly, all-ages gay day at Fiesta Texas in September, 2015. Who wouldn’t like 30-plus drag queens and roller coasters? This year will include the first all-new virtual reality roller coaster. September 2016 marks the second Annual Gay Day at Fiesta Texas. Every Rey Lopez Entertainment showgirl will be taking over all five stages, including Tencha La Jefa, Amerie Parker, Chyna Cravens, Felisha Andrews, Alayna

TOURIST ATTRACTION WINNER: The River Walk (210) 227-4262 thesanantonioriverwalk.com 2. Pearl Brewery 303 Pearl Pkwy., Suite 300 (210) 212-7260 • atpearl.com 3. The Alamo 300 Alamo Plaza • (210) 225-1391 thealamo.org

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“bEsT tHeAtER iN aMeRiCA” - eNtErTaInMeNT wEeKlY

DRAFTHOUSE.COM

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A R O U N D T O W N TRAVIS BUFFKIN

PRESENT THIS AD FOR 20% OFF YOUR PURCHASE!

WHY FAKE IT? number one in fantasy and fun!

LINGERIE JEWELRY SHOES & MORE!

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H RETRO JUKEBOX WINNER: The Pig Stand 1508 Broadway • (210) 222-9923 sanantoniospigstand.com

Family Healthcare with Family Medicine l Pediatrics l Women’s Health Dental l Behavioral Health l Vision Care

233- 7000 4all4life.org l

Multiple locations in San Antonio Most Private Insurances, Medicaid/CHIP, and Medicare Accepted.

Self-pay patients welcome.

Visit our website for more information

Madison Square Medical Building 311 Camden, Suite 601 l 78215

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Monday-Friday: 9 am to 8 pm

Hablamos Español

> Not only are they equipped to satisfy the modern listener, the tabletop nickelodeons possessing such topical fare as witty, Anglo-soul balladeer Adele and the latest in Nashville’s could-never-walk-thesame-line-as-Cash country stars, but the quarter-a-song table DJs and the solitary jukebox situated in the middle of the greasy spoon also contain the pink and black archetypes of the AM dial of yesteryear. These formidable classics — Etta James, Marty Robbins, Bobby Darin, The Shirelles and Roy Orbison — still come streaming from the speakers in The Pig Stand, just below the ribbons of highways 35 and 281 several stories above, like poltergeists of string-sheened emotion, ghosts of popular music’s

past, sonic stories of session players picking and crooners crooning, their guitar solos and tin-can vocals picking, snapping and clapping for generations of diner-goers.

Since they first filled a malt shop with their grandiose appeals to “Put your head on my shoulder” or “Be my baby,” the jukebox has been a teacher, collaborator and co-conspirator for horny youths, lovesick fools, heady hipsters and smitten kittens. The payto-play DJ was invented in 1928, when player piano manufacturer Justus P. Seeburg rigged an electrostatic loudspeaker to a coin-operated record player. The first prototype held only eight songs, a number that has since been healthily surpassed with the inclusion of compact discs into the format, the solitary box at The Pig Stand being a perfect example as the whirling discuses in the upper display case dash refracted neons across the Naugahyde and two-toned linoleum for all to enjoy a little spin down memory lane.

Help yourself and others.

Volunteer for a metabolism study, today!

You may qualify for studies that will evaluate how a probiotic (good bacteria) and food composition affect the metabolism.

Study participants should be: • • • •

Between 18 and 65 years old Persons with or without diabetes Diabetics not taking insulin or metformin Non-smokers

Study participants will receive: • Blood work • A physical exam • Compensation for time

Select study participants will receive: • Home meals while on study medication

For more information, call:

210-617-5243 OR

210-949-3706 FOR MORE INFORMATION: www.esee.org Principal Investigator Nicolas Musi, MD

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Ask about our corporate programs

flowers for any occasion

artisticblooms.com

Call us at 210.696.8080 to schedule your delivery

7863 Callaghan Rd. San Antonio, TX 78229

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105 Warren

Open 7 days a week 10am - 8pm

@allamericanbarbershop

A R O U N D T O W N

COMMUNITY THEATER WINNER: Woodlawn Theatre 1920 Fredericksburg Road (210) 267-8388 • woodlawntheatre.org > Designed by John Eberson (the architect behind the Majestic Theatre), the Woodlawn Theatre opened its doors in 1946, thrived as a cinema for decades and notably hosted the premiere of John Wayne’s classic 1960 film The Alamo. Following periods of disrepair, closures and unsuccessful revivals, the venue found new life in 2012 with the creation of the nonprofit Woodlawn Theatre Inc. During a pivotal tenure that lasted three-anda-half years, former artistic director Greg Hinojosa braved new territory by launching Mary Poppins into the sky with the help of ZFX Flying Illusions, stepping into the role of Zaza in the campy gay classic La Cage aux Folles and importing a bevy of RuPaul’s Drag Race queens to star in irreverent incarnations of The Rocky Horror Show. Now under the direction of Christopher Rodriguez (who’s been the Woodlawn Academy’s youth program director for the past four years), the historic theater’s latest chapter is taking shape in shows like Memphis (through May 8), The Little Mermaid (June 24-July 24) and Evita (August 12-September 11).

•

Art by Stuart Allen FL!GHT Gallery

2. The Overtime Theater 1203 Camden St. • (210) 557-7562 theovertimetheater.org 3. Magik Theatre 420 S. Alamo St. • (210) 227-2751 magiktheatre.org

GALLERY WINNER: FL!GHT Gallery 134 Blue Star • (210) 872-2586 facebook.com/flightsa > From its earliest days operating out of a Blue Star Art Silo to its long run as Second Saturday ringleader at 1906 S. Flores St. to its current incarnation back at Blue Star, Justin Parr and Ed Saavedra’s FL!GHT Gallery has unsurprisingly won many a fan with its unpretentious vibe and alternative approach to contemporary art. Reflective of the wide-ranging array of artists who’ve shown there (from emerging talent to established artists), the crowd at opening receptions can run the gamut, with art fans hanging out, drinking beer and chatting long into the after

hours. Sean Thomas Johnston’s “High Contrast” (comprising 75 works of contemporary glass art), “Fotos y Artefactos” (a multimedia group show highlighting works by 10 artists from Houston and Los Angeles) and “Blow It Out Your Year” (a New Year’s Eve gathering uniting “an improbable number of artists”) stand out among the gallery’s latest hits.

2. Cinnabar 1420 S. Alamo St., Suite 147 (210) 557-6073 • cinnabarart.com 3. Lucha 316 N. Flores St. • (347) 348-5394 facebook.com/lucha.gallery

MUSEUM WINNER: McNay Art Museum 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave. (210) 824-5368 • mcnayart.org > Beyond the attractions one might expect from Texas’ first modern art museum — including traveling exhibitions such as “Made in Germany: Contemporary Art from

•

Thomas Schutte, Grosse Geister #2 at the McNay

the Rubell Family Collection” and signature shows like “Dressed to Kill: Glam and Gore in Theatre” — the McNay draws all walks and ages with a variety of special programs and maintains an open-gate policy for picnicking on the picturesque grounds surrounding Marion Koogler McNay’s former residence, a 24-room Spanish Colonial Revival mansion. Although it offers free admission every Thursday from 4-9 p.m., the McNay takes things to the next level during monthly Second Thursday celebrations combining gallery tours, live music, food trucks and cold brews in a super-relaxed atmosphere. And for the cinephiles, the museum hosts regular screenings that complement exhibitions, not to mention classic revivals, foreign flicks and art-house fare in conjunction with its excellent Get Reel Film Series.

2. The DoSeum 2800 Broadway • (210) 212-4453 thedoseum.org 3. Witte Museum 3801 Broadway • (210) 357-1900 wittemuseum.org

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SAN ANTONIO’S ONLY PREMIERE POLE FITNESS STUDIO

BEST PARTIES IN ALL OF TEXAS:

BACHELORETTE, GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT, BIRTHDAYS, ETC.

SSM’S OPEN HOUSE FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 19 7:30-10:00 PM FEEE TO ALL LADIES 18 & UP PRIZES, REFRESHMENTS

2016 CLASSES POLE FITNESS LEVELS 1-12, ADVANCE-MASTERS 11 YEARS OF CELEBRATING FABULOUS WOMEN!!!

• “ART OF STRIP” 1 & 2 COURSE • TWERKING • FULL BODY FRIDAY • AERIAL YOGA • SEXY FLEXY • ASS-ABS TO TOE • FRIDAY TO TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY MORNING POLE CLASSES “COME PLAY AT SAN ANTONIO’S ONLY PLAYGROUND FOR WOMEN” 6441 BLANCO RD • 863.3591 • ASK FOR RENE • SOFTSENSUOUSMOVES.COM 154 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

FRIEND US

and activities!

Winner of

BEST ADULT STORE

YEARS

IN A ROW!

FEATURED ON WE TV’S HIT SHOW

1580 BABCOCK RD. • 210.767.9411

(Corner Of Babcock & Callaghan, Next To Gold’s Gym) TheLoveShackBoutique.com facebook.com/theloveshackboutique sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 155

No Appointment

Paul Miller, DC

Necessary

9238 N LOOP 1604 W STE.101 SA, TX 78249 210.251.3514 AlamoPainInjury.com Alamo Pain&Injury

No Contracts No Start-Up Costs No Hidden Fees No Hassles

THE AFFORDABLE CHIROPRACTIC ADJUSTMENT

$20 Spinal Adjustment!

5 out of 5 stars on

Huebner Oaks 11745 W. Interstate Hwy 10, Suite 400 • (210) 462-1705 156 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

A R O U N D T O W N The cash-only cantina offers setups and serves $2.25 Budweiser and Bud Light, $3 Shiner, Corona, Dos Equis, Bohemia, Smirnoff Ice, $3.25 domestic and $3.75 Mexican beer micheladas, $3 cabernet, chardonnay and moscato and hosts festive conversation and friendly debates during the nightly news, a pool table, an impressive tejano, country and oldies jukebox and potlucks during Spurs games.

Owner Tony Lopez hasn’t merely provided the city with a friendly place to bask in the celluloid glow of three modest TVs and a haven for hopes of future Silver-and-Black glory, but a place to enjoy each others’ company without the presence of impersonal Ikea tchotchkes, banal baubles and affected atmosphere as the Trinity of the Big Three and our expanding roster of quiet, classy contributors race for seis. A simple beautiful San Antonio bar; much like the team it champions.

H PLACE TO WATCH THE SPURS WINNER: Tony’s Bar 206 Brooklyn Ave. • (210) 227-4551

visit us:

WEDNESDAY-SUNDAY 12-5pm

445 N Main Ave, San Antonio, TX 78205 210.212.4900 artpace.org

PUBLIC MURAL WINNER: “I Love Tacos So Much” 109 W. Grayson St. 2. “Selena” 4913 S. Flores St. 3. “Musica de San Antonio” 1303 W. Commerce St.

HAIR SALON

BOB COOK, TOUCAN

> It worries us that a write-up on our favorite little family bar to watch Spurs games at a spot just northeast of Downtown and a stone’s throw from a certain new brewery and increasingly yuppiefied area of town, will wrench it from our grasp, make it a tourist spot for folks looking for “authentic culture” … for a night.

The catch? That we wish nothing but the best for Tony and the “Historical Landmark.”

Located on Brooklyn just west of 281 sits a crumbling building with a sign advertising “OPEN FOR BEER” and a six-foot-tall sculpture of the Tower of the Americas: This is Tony’s Bar.

SHARING THE MOST INNOVATIVE ARTISTS WITH SAN ANTONIO & THE WORLD

WINNER: Hair Candy 742 NW Loop 410, Suite 22 (210) 860-4704 2. Hair by Eileen 10803 Nacogdoches Road hairbyeileen.com 3. D’Anthony Salon Salon Multiple locations danthonysalonspa.com

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JOHN ORTIZ 210-445-1035

BRIAN CORDOVA 210-865-7653

MARKETING@LOCALHOUSEREALTY.COM

VOICES of the

WEST

Michael Horse (Yaqui) The Role of Native Americans in Popular Media Tuesday, April 26 | 6:30pm

Briscoe Western Art Museum’s Distinguished Lecture Series Join us as we illuminate unique perspectives on the history and future of the American West.

Tickets & Info: 210.299.4499 | BriscoeMuseum.org Briscoe Western Art Museum | 210 W. Market Street, San Antonio TX On the River Walk 158 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

A R O U N D T O W N

LISA FISCHER Friday, April 29, 8pm

PUBLIC SWIMMING POOL WINNER: San Pedro Springs Park 1315 San Pedro Ave. • (210) 207-7275 2. Landa Park 350 Aquatic Circle • (830) 221-4360 nbtexas.org 3. Alamo Heights Pool 250 Viesca St. • (210) 824-2595 heightspool.com

NAIL SALON WINNER: The Vanity Room 11703 Huebner Road, Suite 202 (210) 414-6985 thevanityroomsa.com > Good news! San Antonio loves The Vanity Room. The bad news?

With more than 1,200 followers on Instagram (where else are the newly manicured to show off shiny sets of nail designs inspired by Fiesta, Easter, classic fashion patterns, or whatever else Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kendall or Kylie are donning on their digits these days), The Vanity Room’s Priscilla Charbel is currently not

accepting any new nail clients. It doesn’t mean you can’t follow her on the ’gram and pine for a set of shellac — with rhinestones, natch — of your own. With a slew of certifications to her name (from Aveda Institute of San Antonio with more than 750 hours in esthetics and 600 hours from Vogue Beauty School), it’s easy to see why this appointment-only salon is the city’s fave. We’ll double tap that any day.

2. Mood Nail Salon 742 NW Loop 410, Suite 113 (210) 277-7096 facebook.com/moodnailsalon 3. Quarry Nails 255 E. Basse Road, Suite 1080 (210) 930-9330 • quarrynails.com

ALFREDO RODRIGUEZ Friday, May 13, 8pm

SAVION GLOVER & JACK DEJOHNETTE Saturday, May 28, 3pm

PLACE TO WORK WINNER: USAA usaa.com 2. Rackspace rackspace.com

SHEILA E Saturday, June 4, 8pm

3. Frost Bank frostbank.com

Tickets on sale now $35ea.

Ticketmaster: 1.800.745.3000 • Carver Box Office: 210.207.2234 • TheCarver.org sacurrent.com • April 20-26, 2016 • CURRENT 159

THE

VANITY ROOM E-Cigarettes, tobacco, glass, vapor, and other smoking accessories.

Thank you San Antonio for your continued support! XO -Prissy @ The Vanity Room

For more pics and salon specials, find me on Facebook.com/thevanityroomsa.

TWO LOCATIONS: 5244 Fredericksburg RD. • 210-541-0206 | 7071 San Pedro Ave. • 210-267-2920 | hazelskysmoke.com

Born and raised in San Antonio, choose the hometown lawyer.

IF YOU’VE BEEN HURT DUE TO: • Drunk drivers • Driver error • Vehicle defects • Roadway defects OUR LEGAL TEAM AT THE CHRIS MAYO LAW FIRM BELIEVES YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES ON YOUR OWN. Free Consultation | 210.999.9999 | www.chrismayolaw.com 160 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

IG @vanityroomsa

A R O U N D T O W N

GYM

WINNER: Phil Hardberger Park 8400 NW Military Hwy. • (210) 207-3284 philhardbergerpark.org

WINNER: F2M2 16120 College Oak Drive, Suite 101 (210) 416-3505 • margiemassey.com

> The off-leash dog parks at Phil Hardberger Park comprise just a tiny portion of the 311-acre space. But for Fido and his four-legged friends, it’s a paradise. The fenced-off parks include separate spaces for small and large dogs in a wooded area. There’s plenty of space to run (or just sniff the perimeter, if that’s your dog’s thing), plus platforms and props for pups to play around on.

The park also offers dog-friendly water fountains and plenty of shade ­— a musthave on most San Antonio afternoons.

And the double-gate entry system ensures any potential escapees will be thwarted. If your dog still has energy to shake out after playing with some pals, walk him or her around the park’s 1.8mile Savanna Loop Trail.

2. Gold’s Gym Multiple locations • goldsgym.com

2. McAllister Park 13102 Jones Maltsberger Road (210) 207-7275 sanantonio.gov/parksandrec 3. Lucy’s Doggy Daycare & Spa Multiple locations lucysdoggydaycare.com/san_antonio

JUSTIN MOORE

DOG PARK

3. Mission CrossFit 8842 Broadway • (210) 865-9348 missioncrossfitsa.com

CITY PARK/PLAYGROUND •

WINNER: Brackenridge Park 3700 N. St. Mary’s St. • (210) 207-8480 brackenridgepark.org > Nestled just north of Downtown, this popular greenspace is a hit with both locals and visitors alike. Within walking distance of the Japanese Tea Garden, the San Antonio Zoo, the Sunken Garden Theater and much more, the park features the life source of the city’s most iconic feature aside from the Alamo: the San Antonio River. But you didn’t just vote to say it’s the city’s best park, either.

Brackenridge Park was also voted best playground for the second year in row.

Maybe it has something to do with the Brackenridge Eagle miniature train?

Maybe it’s the multiple playscapes with all those fun slides, swings and climbing structures? Or, maybe it’s the satisfaction of having a worn-out kid at the end of the day, isn’t it? Whatever the reason, Brackenridge Park continues to be a San Anto favorite for outdoor fun in an urban atmosphere.

PARK 2. Travis Park 301 E. Travis St. • (210) 207-3677 sanantonio.gov/parksandrec 3. Phil Hardberger Park 8400 NW Military Hwy. • (210) 207-3284 philhardbergerpark.org

Brackenridge Park

PLAYGROUND 2. Yanaguana Garden 434 S. Alamo St. hemisfair.org/activities/play 3. Phil Hardberger Park 8400 NW Military Hwy. • (210) 207-3284 philhardbergerpark.org

FIESTA EVENT WINNER: A Night in Old San Antonio niosa.org

nothing quite like the roving mosh pit of thousands of San Antonians from across the city, all dressed in their most festive garb, some navigating their way from beer booth to beer booth, some dodging wooden skewers left over from a medium rare Bongok-Bob, all in the spirit of Fiesta. Mmm, we can smell the Maria’s Tortillas from here.

2. King William Fair kwfair.org 3. Fiesta Oyster Bake oysterbake.com

> One of the best memes to circulate the interwebs is reflective of the magic that is NIOSA: A Where’s Waldo image with the words “I’m at La Villita … Over by the beer booth.”

You’ve gotta commit to an evening of NIOSA, to be sure, but how else can you take in the full scope that is the gloriousness of San Antonio from the fresh-fried puffy tacos at the Mexican Market to sausage samplers inside Sauerkraut Bend to steer on a stick in Frontier Town. And the event comes together with the help of more than 13,000 volunteers, so how much more San Anto can you get? There’s

CROSSFIT WINNER: Mission CrossFit 8842 Broadway • (210) 865-9348 missioncrossfitsa.com 2. CrossFit San Antonio 5337 Glen Ridge Drive • (210) 275-4271 crossfitsanantonio.com 3. Tobin Hill CrossFit 1927 N. St. Mary’s St. • (210) 994-5006 tobinhillcrossfit.com

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Hiromi Stringer, “Cat scratch cat” 2015

p o h s p o One st , manga, s e m a g d r a o b for comics, & our infamous fi ures, action g all!

Funko PoP w

“Muse” opens May 12 Muse- Professor- Student Steve Reynolds - Justin Boyd (SSA)- Ethan Gonzalez Craig Dongoski - Christie Blizard (UTSA)- Hiromi Stringer Fred Sandback- Benjamin McVey (UTSA)- Halina Haider Blue Star Arts Complex

210.557.6073 CinnabarArt.com

162 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

Indivigduraoloms gamining annex & gaam and rger groups for l ble for events avaoinla reservati

7959 Fredricksburg Rd. San Antonio TX • 210-615-1229 www.dlair.net/sanantonio

A R O U N D T O W N BRYAN RINDFUSS

H NEW BUSINESS WINNER: Blue Star Coloring bluestarcoloring.com facebook.com/bluestarcoloring > With just a little more than a year in existence, Blue Star Coloring, which is based in San Antonio and Portland, Oregon, has made a splash in the wide-open frontier of adult coloring. Founded in March 2015, the coloring book company is consistently knocking out bestsellers on Amazon.

Through partnerships with artists all over the country, including San Antonio’s own Abe Vasquez, who illustrated an anatomy coloring book called Form, Blue Star Coloring creates an array of subject matter, from Steampunk Ocean to Art Nouveau Birds to Gothic Halloween.

Blue Star Coloring sets itself apart from competitors by publishing designs that are all hand-drawn by independent artists, as artist recruiter Brenna Dominguez explained earlier this year.

“We have one in Corpus Christi, one in San Antonio, one in Dallas,” Dominguez said, rattling off the locations of Blue Star Coloring’s Texas-based artists.

However, Camden Hendricks, CEO and one of three founders, is quick to point out that the company is not reinventing the wheel by any means.

“It was already a thing. We didn’t invent it,” Hendricks said of adult coloring for stress relief.

He said the company’s success has been a mix of hard work and luck.

“There’s a lot of people who are extremely talented writers, artists and publishers who never get that milestone,” Hendricks said, remarking on a near-steady presence on Amazon’s bestseller list. “So, yeah, it was really cool, but it’s also humbling in a lot of ways.”

Saturday, Apr. 23, 2:00-4:00 pm

Independent Publishing & Book Design Panel Discussion: Bryce Milligan (Wings Press), Roberto Bonazzi (Latitudes Press), Dave Oliphant (Prickly Pear Press), and Texas Poet Laureate Rosemary Catacalos. Moderated by Agnieszka Czeblakow, Rare Books Librarian, UTSA Libraries Special Collections

Saturday, Apr. 30, 2:00-4:00 pm

PET BOARDING WINNER: Lucy’s Doggy Day Care and Spa Multiple locations lucysdoggydaycare.com 2. Camp Bow Wow Multiple locations campbowwow.com 3. Becker Animal Hospital and Pet Resort 6515 W. I-10 beckeranimalhospital.com

Readings by Wings Press Poets & Writers: Mariana Aitches, Roberto Bonazzi, Jay Brandon, Robert Flynn, Celeste Guzmán Mendoza, Amalia Ortiz, Carolyn Osborn and Carmen Tafolla

Tuesday, May 3, 5:30-8:30 pm

The BIG Give “BIG Picture” with BIG wine, BIG food and BIG music!

Saturday, May 21, 2:00-4:00 pm

An Afternoon with Bryce Milligan, a casual couple of hours of poetry, songs, and reminiscences about a life in paper and ink. Papermaker Beck Whitehead and letterpress printer Léo Lee will debut a new broadside, featuring Milligan’s poem “Mahogany Blues.”

Open Fridays & Saturdays, 1-4 pm, or by appt.

2803 Fredericksburg Road, San Antonio TX 210.383.9723 | bihlhausarts.org

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Charter Coach Bus tours to the Outlet malls in San Marcos, Texas from San Antonio, Texas

comingsoon!

Book your stay now at one of San Antonio’s best bed & breakfast and experience true Southern hospitality. Located in the heart of King William and everyone is a VIP!

Simply Elegant

307 Beauregard Street San Antonio, Texas 78204 www.evasescape.com relax@evasescape.com 210.223.5875

Offered by “We love weekends!” ( BCL2 )Excursions

THANK YOU

FOR VOTING US #1 Thousands of Wines • Hard-to-Find Spirits • Hundreds of Craft Beers Texas Family-Owned Since 1962 • Lower Prices • Bigger Selection

®

Cheers to Savings!

164 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

®

W I N ES · S P I R I TS & F I N E R FO O DS

LOCATIONS ACROSS THE AREA! SPECSONLINE.COM Store selections vary. specsonline.com

A R O U N D T O W N class and packages are available in bundles of 5, 10 and 20 sessions. Take advantage of the unlimited program for $120 and get your asana on all month long.

2. Mobile Om 114 S. St. Mary’s St., Suite 210 (210) 816-0936 • mobileomtx.com 3. 5 Points Local 1017 N. Flores St. • (210) 267-2652, 5pointslocal.com/yoga

TANNING SALON WINNER: Palm Beach Tan Multiple locations palmbeachtan.com

YOGA STUDIO WINNER: Southtown Yoga Loft Multiple locations southtownyogaloft.com > Taking a class at Southtown Yoga Loft is like going on a retreat (though they have those, too) in the center of the city’s art district. Classes are offered seven days a week for regular yogis, beginners and everyone in between, and the spacious studios cater to the needs of all students in a relaxing, non-judgmental atmosphere.

Specialty classes include yoga for athletes, prenatal yoga and yoga for emotional healing, as well as teacher training and workshops with a specific focus. The list of the studios’ amenities runs long with several showers, dressing rooms and areas dedicated to preparing for class or freshening up post-session. You can also borrow mats, blankets and bolsters free of charge. Drop-in rates run $17 a

> Palm Beach Tan offers a myriad of ways to get your tan on. Whether you’re a loyal spray-tanner or a tanning bed enthusiast, Palm Beach Tan has you covered. Don’t know where to start?

Palm Beach Tan’s super-friendly staff will give you a quick tour and a run-down of all of their beds, from the fanciest and most customizable (you can even add a mist of fragrance!) to their classic tanning beds. When asked about the best package for our skin tone and our desired shade of tan, the staff was happy to guide us in the right direction. Palm Beach Tan is clean, their beds are well maintained and they have monthly specials for members. Because they offer a variety of packages, it’s easy to pick one based on your price point and tanning needs.

Thanks to their incredible customer service and multitude of tanning options, Palm Beach Tan has earned its crown.

Life is Mobile Enhanced Bill Pay – Same day & next day payments

Transfer Funds • To other IBC customers with Person-to-Person • To others via text or email with Popmoney • To your accounts at other banks

2. Bronzed Bodyz Mobile Spray Tanning (832) 878-7833 • bronzedbodyz.com 3. Spray Soleil Multiple locations • spraysoleil.net

All New!

ibc.com Must be U.S. bank accounts. Fees may apply.

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RETAMA PARK Join us for these upcoming events

May 6, 2016

April 28 - May 8, 2016

We look forward to seeing you for

racing season

2016

MAY

JUNE

JULY

7 - Derby 21 - Preakness

10 11 - Belmont

1 -2 8 -9 15 - 16 22 - 23 29 - 30

Opening quarter horse meet

17 - 18 24 - 25 166 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

AUGUST September 5 -6 12 - 13 Closing quarter horse meet

Opening Thoroughbred meet

2 -3 9 - 10 16 - 17 23 - 24 30 -1

October 7 -8 14 - 15 21 - 22 28 - 29

November 4 -5 11 - 12 18 - 19 25 - 26

Closing thoroughbred meet

BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW AT BRUNCH.SACURRENT.COM

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A R O U N D T O W N

BED AND BREAKFAST WINNER: King William Manor Historic Inn 1029 S. Alamo St. • (210) 222-0144 kingwilliammanor.com > You don’t have to drive out to the Hill Country to find excellent bed and breakfast inns, as 2016’s winner King William Manor Historic Inn illustrates. The Greek revival mansion, built in 1892, also won Best of San Antonio in 2014. The land it sits on was farmland to sustain the inhabitants of the Mission San Antonio de Valero (the Alamo), but in the 19th century, Germans founded what’s now known as the King William Historic District. The inn features nine themed bedrooms that are sure to soothe the nerves. Before becoming a bed and breakfast, the King William Manor operated as a private residence, a bookstore, apartments and a theater.

There’s also a two-bedroom vacation rental on the property, which sits in the heart of the bustling arts and nightlife district just south of Downtown.

2. Eva’s Escape at the Gardenia Inn 307 Beauregard St. • (210) 223-5875 evasescape.com 3. Brackenridge House Bed and Breakfast 230 Madison St. • (210) 271-3442 brackenridgehouse.com

COMEDY CLUB WINNER: Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club 618 NW Loop 410 • (210) 541-8805 lolsanantonio.com > If U find URself AFK & @ the LOL F2F w/ stand-up comedians J4F, don’t B surprised if U start ROTFLOL or even ROFFLMFAO. LOL is once again the

168 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

most popular local comedy club ATM. Haven’t been yet? WTF?! Get there ASAP, n00b. It’s SRSLY NAGI 2 skip the next few months w/ PPL like Ralphie May (6/2-4) & Carlos Mencia (8/1214) already booked 4 performances.

W00t! IOW, LOL is TPTB. BTW, the club still features Open Mic Nights on Tuesdays & comedy events 2 raise $ 4 charities like the SA March of Dimes, the Halo House and the Priest Holmes Foundation. What else is on the slate @ LOL, U ask? How about the “Fiesta Comedy Explosion” w/ comedians Godfrey & Slade Ham (4/21), a “Psychedelic Show” w/ comedian Shane Mauss (7/10) & comedy revue Poppy Champlin & the Queer Queens of Qomedy (7/13-14). CU there. EOM.

•

2. Improv Comedy Club 849 E. Commerce St. • (210) 229-1420 rivercentercomedyclub.com 3. The Overtime Theater 1203 Camden St. • (210) 557-7562 theovertimetheater.org

NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION WINNER: SAY Sí 1518 S. Alamo St. (210) 212-8666 saysi.org 2. Project: H.O.T. 314 S. Flores St. • (210) 393-1981 projecthot.org 3. San Antonio AIDS Foundation 818 E. Grayson St. • (210) 225-4715 sanantonioaids.org

BARBER SHOP WINNER: All American Barbershop 105 Warren St. • (682) 224-9969 2. Diesel Barbershop Multiple locations • dieselbarbershop.com

Say Sí

3. Rob the Original Multiple locations robtheoriginal.com

H PLACE TO PEOPLE WATCH WINNER: The Shops at La Cantera 15900 La Cantera Pkwy.

(210) 582-6255 theshopsatlacantera.com > How do we put this delicately? There are all kinds of interesting people at The Shops at La Cantera. Not just the cat-faced plastic surgery disasters and their Chihuahuas; cosmetic surgery is merely a venture in pursuit of our ideal self, something of which we all partake. It’s not only the folks hailing from Monterrey, their collars eternally popped, cologne only perceptible if it can overpower the 100-yardradius capabilities of their closest countryman’s Axe scent, their SUVs gargantuan, children beautiful and manners non-existent; for we are all

products of our environment and such prejudice would border on Trumpism.

It’s not even the housewives hailing from Shavano, the Dominion, Boerne or Helotes, their Juicy Couture track suits, Pilate-d physiques, cultivated aloofness and self-importance – a la Stepford Wives meets the Dallas reboot with a sprinkling of Susan G. Komen do-gooder enthusiasm.

It’s not even their scrubbed-pink, scotch-on-the-rocks hubbies: contractors, land men in real estate or construction. For the allowances made when in the company of New Money often pale in comparison to the total ignorance and detachedness found amongst Yellow Dog Democrats from ’09. Everyone’s path is different. What good does it do to hate the rich for their opulent, material trappings, anyway?

It is all of these wonderful humans, every single beautiful, terrible one of them that makes whatever painful reason I have to visit the North-Starwasn’t-good-enough shopping center not so completely intolerable. Thank you, La Cantera. You’re the real MVP.

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ON VIEW THROUGH JUNE 5, 2016

Dressed to Kill

GLAM AND GORE IN THEATRE

A Tobin Theatre Arts Exhibition featuring costume design for the most fashionable and seductive stage villains!

This exhibition is organized by the McNay Art Museum and is a program of the Tobin Theatre Arts Fund.

6000 NORTH NEW BRAUNFELS | SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS 78209-0069 | MCNAYART.ORG

Handcrafti ng

and

beer bourbon

San Antonio’s own

“brewstillery”

FROM gr a in to gla s s

Come take a tour of the only combined brewery/distillery in Texas! Learn more and RSVP at: www.drinkrangercreek.com 170 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

A R O U N D T O W N 2. The Wax Bar Multiple locations • (210) 525-9701 bodywaxbar.com 3. Heeling Sole Barefoot Massage 1864 Nacogdoches Road (210) 560-1992 • heelingsole.com

MED SPA WINNER: Edan’s Med Spa 7460 Callaghan Road, Suite 122 (210) 348-8089 • edansmedspa.com

PLACE TO GET PAMPERED WINNER: Woodhouse Day Spa Multiple locations • (210) 444-6170 woodhousespas.com > One does not just go to the Woodhouse Day Spa to relax; one goes to get pampered and treated like the queen or king they are. With locations at The Rim and The Quarry, Woodhouse is an oasis within the hustle and bustle of the city where your wellness is in the hands of the professionals. The spa’s services extend beyond the basics, offering sleep treatments on top of massage therapy, waxing, skincare and hand and foot treatments. Signature massages, like the Volcanic Stone and the Citrine Dream (picture a coconut milk bath) are part of what put this wonder on the map and keeps clients returning. Services are a bit on the pricier side, but packages with multiple services are available to give you the best experience for de-stressing and treating your body with some TLC. Appointments are recommended — this little piece of heaven gets pretty booked.

> Spa owner Edan Finlayson isn’t declaring that the aesthetic medical procedures done at her venue will keep patrons looking like nubile virgins for eternity, but anyone who steps into her spa is sure to see some major youth preservation.

Certified by the American Academy of Procedural Medicine and a member of the American Cosmetic Cellular Medicine Association, Edan’s Med Spa, which has been open since 2011, performs a number of treatments at their facility, including microdermabrasion and chemical peels. They also do rarer things like the Vampire Facelift where platelet-rich plasma from a patient is reinjected into the face; Nova Threads, an injection of polydioxanone, which stimulates collagen production; and the O-Shot, an injection to stimulate vaginal tissue and improve sexual arousal and desire. “People want to stay young and look young and feel natural,” said Finlayson. “Everybody sees aging differently, but nobody wants to get old.”

2. Sonterra Laser Med Spa 1202 E. Sonterra Blvd., Suite 303 (210) 545-3327 • sonterralaser.com 3. Sculpt Away 9991 I-10 W. • (210) 227-3051 sculptaway.com

Absolutely free workshop on family law & related matters

• Child custody • Divorce • Property division • Child support etc.

For more information and to RSVP visit freelegalworkshop.com Workshop provided by Judicial Candidate & Attorney FRANCES DUNHAM with 20 years experience

Pol. Adv. paid for by the Frances Dunham Campaign.

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A R O U N D T O W N 2. Santikos Palladium • 17703 I-10 W. (210) 496-2221 • santikos.com

21 ST ANNUAL TASTING EVENT

3. Santikos Bijou 4522 Fredericksburg Road (210) 734-4552 • santikos.com

PLACE TO TAKE YOUR SIDE PIECE (OR TINDER DATE) WINNER: Nectar Wine Bar and Ale House 214 Broadway • (210) 375-4082 nectarsa.com

MOVIE THEATER WINNER: Alamo Drafthouse Multiple locations drafthouse.com/san-antonio > After Tim and Karrie League sold the Alamo Drafthouse brand in 2004, new locations began to pop up everywhere across Texas, including the first in San Antonio (Westlakes) that same year. At the time, it was the biggest Drafthouse theater ever built (nine screens). Since then, two more venues — Park North and Stone Oak — opened in 2009 and 2010, respectively.

All three locations continue to offer San Antonians a unique movie-going experience. Along with all the first-run films and specialty signature series like Tough Guy Cinema, Afternoon Tea and Girlie Night, moviegoers should circle their calendars for events like the Army of Darkness Quote-Along (April 20), the Totally ’80s Sing-Along (April 24 and 27) and an Alien vs.

Aliens Double Feature (April 26). On April 28, give yourself over to absolute pleasure with a screening of a punkrock version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

> If 2015’s Ashley Madison hack didn’t totally bench your side game, or if crippling guilt won’t stop you from cheating on your main squeeze, San Anto’s affair enthusiasts have found their new go-to spot. Known for its charming ambiance, DIY interiors and relatively inexpensive wine list, Nectar Wine Bar and Ale House is that refuge for your paramour. The quaint joint, also on this list as Best Wine Bar, opened last September and has everything needed for a date — with your side piece, Tinderella, ruca or otherwise — as owners Rob and Rachel Stephens have equipped it with serious snackage in the form of artful meat and cheese boards, build-your-own hummus platters and Schakolad truffles. Wash it all down with a full-bodied cabernet, sensual sauvignon blanc or fizzy bubbles.

Whatever gets you going, right?

Side note: Is anyone else shocked that Sanchos didn’t win this category?

2. Paramour 102 9th St., Suite 400 • (210) 340-9880 paramourbar.com 3. Sexology Institute & Boutique 727 S. Alamo St. • (210) 487-0371 sexologyinstitute.com

Friday May 13th • 8PM

Cindy Bradley Michael Lington

Friday October 7th • 8PM

Richard Elliot Max Groove

Friday November 11th • 8PM

Warren Hill Karen Briggs

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4/8/16 4:44 PM

CALENDAR

FIESTA® SAN ANTONIO COMMISSION © JONATHAN ALONZO WED-FRI

20-22

Fiesta Gartenfest FIESTA

Gemütlichkeit, a German term that translates as “a space or state of friendliness, warmth and good cheer,” is the ideal name for the atmosphere of Gartenfest, an official Fiesta event hosted by the Beethoven Maennerchor — Texas’ oldest active singing society, founded in 1867 — in its endlessly pleasant beer garden. Combining live music, some seriously great grub and folk dance performances of the German variety, the three-day shindig fits right in with the Maennerchor’s mission to “preserve German song, music and language.” $3-$5, 5pm-midnight, Beethoven Halle und Garten, 422 Pereida St., (210) 222-1521, beethovenmaennerchor.com.

— James Courtney

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THU

21

PACfest FIESTA

Palo Alto College’s PACfest is one of the largest official Fiesta events south of Highway 90. Throughout the campus’ sprawling grounds, you’re invited to enjoy puro Fiesta staples like festival fare, cold brews and close company you didn’t choose. PACfest, however, also boasts plenty of activities for the kiddos and an impressive roster of live music acts, including nuevo-tejano heartthrob AJ Castillo, Guadalajara-based cumbiatrónica purveyors Los Master Plus (pictured) and San Anto hip-hop duo Chisme. Fans of grilled beef will no doubt enjoy the Fiesta Grilldown, a carne asada cook-off of epic proportions. $5, noon-10pm, Palo Alto College, 1400 W. Villaret Blvd., (210) 486-3000, alamo.edu/pac/pacfest. — JC

FRI

22

Selena FILM

Jennifer Lopez is no Selena, but the singer/actress did a hell of a job portraying the late Queen of Tejano in writer/director Gregory Nava’s 1997 biopic, which played a crucial role in spreading Selena’s legacy — and launching J. Lo’s career. For many, watching the movie has become an integral part of coping with Selena’s untimely death and celebrating her life. Friday, in a well-timed move — Fiesta and Selena go together like bean and cheese — The Playhouse hosts a free screening of the flick. So dig out the bodysuits, bustiers and dancing boots, and get those singing voices and Kleenex ready. Free, 6pm, The Playhouse, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258, theplayhousesa.org. — JC

FRI

22

Bon Qui Qui COMEDY

Former Oakland Raiders cheerleader and MADtv alum Anjelah Johnson is known for her stand-up comedy routine based in a nail salon (not to mention a series of Taco Cabana ads), but her biggest break may be opening for ex-King Burger cashier Bon Qui Qui on the “Gold Plated Dreams” Tour. The very attitude that made Ms. QQ such a nightmare as a fast-food employee on MADtv translates to instant icon status in novelty hip-hop, and the best joke about should-be hit singles “No Boyfren” and “I’ma Cut You” is that they’re probably catchier and cleverer than anything Iggy Azalea’s got left. $35, 8pm, The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com.

— Jeremy Martin

CALENDAR

SAT

23

Har Mar Superstar MUSIC

Sean Tillmann of Har Mar Superstar doesn’t fit the part of the sensual soul singer: He rocks a Ron Jeremy haircut and named his project after a mall near his childhood home. But, when Har Mar channels the purring icons of Memphis and Detroit, he hits the R&B sweet spot on career highlight “Lady, You Shot Me,” named after Sam Cooke’s reported last words. On his new record Best Summer Ever, the irony of his early career has mostly evaporated. But he’s still tongue-in-cheek on live staples like “Tall Boy,” an ode to the 16-ounce beverage just frothing with double-entendres. Also on the bill: Neil Z and Butcher Bear and the Blades. $15, 8pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersa.com. — Matt Stieb

SUN

24

King William Fair FIESTA

King William Fair, which started out small and quirky in 1968 and now attracts tens of thousands of revelers each year, is the main fundraiser of the King William Association, which seeks to “preserve and protect the oldest historic district in Texas and promote the unique cultural heritage of San Antonio.” Poised to be the biggest ever, this year’s fair boasts tons of great food, arts and crafts vendors, a notoriously funky parade and the ever-popular Kid’s Kingdom, a swell outdoor play area for the wee ones. The Fiesta favorite also features live music from such SA mainstays as The Krayolas, Los #3 Dinners and Regency Jazz Band. $10, 9am-6pm, King William Historic District, (210) 271-3247, kwfair.org. — JC

SUN

24

Power Trip & Antwon MUSIC

If you hate brunch — its Sundayconsuming hours and hungover company — consider indulging in Paper Tiger’s afternoon special of thrash and hip-hop.

From Dallas, Power Trip is a heaving quartet capable of speed metal’s breakneck shredding and thrash’s ill-tempered snarl. Rooted in hardcore (he lives with Trash Talk’s Lee Spielman and fronted the Philadelphia punk band Leather), Antwon is rap’s poet laureate of sex and depression, finding countless (and often hilarious) topics for his bass-rattling, Biggie-like voice. With his new EP Double Ecstasy, Antwon finds a welcome home on the progressive Anticon label. $10, 1pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersa.com. — MS

MON-TUE

25-26

Harry Connick Jr. MUSIC

Best-selling, Great American Songbook crooners don’t always enjoy the strongest reputation among jazz crowds — a reputable, gigging musician might look at Michael Bublé the way a Michelin chef looks at Arby’s. But Harry Connick Jr. balances commercial success and critical acclaim with his darling voice and a piano style splitting the difference between big-band stomp and New Orleans street blues. Since soundtracking When Harry Met Sally in 1989, the NOLA native’s surprisingly crass banter and boxer’s good looks have made him a crowd favorite — enough to book back-to-back nights at the Tobin. $59.50$99.50, 7:30pm Mon-Tue, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org. — MS

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CALENDAR

FRI

SAT

23

Fiesta Flambeau Parade

FIESTA® SAN ANTONIO COMMISSION © JONATHAN ALONZO

As we celebrate Fiesta’s 125th anniversary, let’s raise a glass to Ellen Maury Slayden (1860–1926), society editor of the San Antonio Express, wife of Congressman James L. Slayden and the creative mind behind a pivotal 1891 parade that entailed participants pelting one another with flowers in salute to the heroes of the battles of the Alamo and San Jacinto. Not only did Slayden’s unconventional “Battle of Flowers” idea flourish into what’s now billed as the nation’s second-largest day parade, it laid the very foundation for Fiesta as we know it today. Proudly produced exclusively by women, her Alamo City hallmark Battle of Flowers Parade rises to the landmark occasion by gathering horse-drawn carriages, marching bands, cheerleading squads, uniformed cavalcades and Fiesta royalty atop elaborately decorated floats under the celebratory banner of “Texas Traditions … 125 Years!” $12$30, 12:20-4pm, parade route runs from Broadway at E. Grayson St. to N. Santa Rosa Ave. at W. Travis St., battleofflowers.org. — Bryan Rindfuss

Drawing inspiration from the night parades of Mardis Gras, civil engineer and onetime city manager Reynolds Andricks devised the Fiesta Flambeau Parade in 1948 and served as its director through the 1980s. Since its early days as a fairly modest procession of torch brigades, military bands and social clubs, the Flambeau has grown into “the largest illuminated night parade in the nation,” attracting a Downtown crowd of 700,000 and reaching 1.5 million television viewers.

Led by the University of Texas Longhorn Band and grand marshaled by tejano singersongwriter Patsy Torres and honoree Ricardo Romo (photographer, art collector and president of University of Texas at San Antonio), this year’s Flambeau wraps up Fiesta’s 125th year with a resonant theme of “Long Live Texas.” $15-$30, vanguard at 6:40pm, parade at 7:15pm, parade route runs from Broadway at E. Grayson St. to N. Santa Rosa Ave. at W. Travis St., fiestaflambeauparade.org. — BR

Art

Words

International Artist-In-Residence Exhibition Selected by Spanish curator Juan de Nieves, Daniel García Andújar (Barcelona), Adriana Corral (San Antonio) and Wu Tsang (Los Angeles) present wide-ranging projects in conjunction with Artpace’s revered International Artist-In-Residence program.

Free, noon-5pm Wednesday-Thursday, noon5pm Saturday-Sunday; Artpace, 445 N. Main Ave., (210) 212-4900.

”Made in Germany” Organized by the McNay’s René Paul Barilleaux, “Made in Germany” highlights contemporary German works from the Rubell Family Collection. The exhibit, which features paintings, sculptures, photographs and works on paper, collects pieces from such notables as Andreas Gursky, Katarina Fritsch and Gerhard Richter. $15$20, 10am-4pm Wednesday, 10am-9pm Thursday, 10am-4pm Friday, 10am-5pm Saturday, noon-5pm Sunday, 10am-4pm Tuesday; McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368.

Film

San Antonio Filmmaker’s Workshop This

monthly meet-up provides local filmmakers, actors and animators “best practice” tutorials, constructive critiques of current projects and networking opportunities. Free, 6-8pm Saturday; Geekdom Event Center, 131 Soledad St., (210) 620-8099.

Theater

Blueberry Toast Robert Ball directs UIW’s 176 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

production of Mary Laws’ dark comedy about a seemingly perfect suburban couple who begin to unravel around the breakfast table. Despite its playful title, Blueberry Toast contains vulgar language and “extreme acts of simulated violence.” $6-$10, 9pm Thursday-Saturday; University of the Incarnate Word, Cheever Downstairs Theatre, 4301 Broadway, (210) 829-3810.

Listen to Your Mother Designed to

“support motherhood creatively through artistic expression,” director/producer Jill Robbins’ Listen to Your Mother unites 13 local authors for an evening of staged readings, with proceeds benefiting Child Advocates of San Antonio. $14-$15, 2pm Saturday; Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624.

Memphis Loosely based on the career

of groundbreaking disc jockey Dewey Phillips, Memphis throws audiences into the heat of racial tension, love and rock ‘n’ roll in 1950s-era Tennessee. With an original score by David Bryan and Joe DiPietro, the Tony Award-winning musical follows a white man with a passion for R&B and his dangerous affair with an up-and-coming black singer. Touted by critics as “an exuberant musical with classic values,” Memphis lights up the Woodlawn with a production directed by Rebecca Trinidad starring Brian Hodges, Marie Warren and Edward Burkley. $17-$26, 7:30pm FridaySaturday, 3:30pm Sunday; Woodlawn Theatre, 1920 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 267-8388.

A Celebration of Women’s Voices Recently appointed San Antonio Poet Laureate Jenny Browne leads this National Poetry Month event showcasing “the power of the female voice through song, dance, artwork, poetry and dramatic monologues.” Free (donations accepted on behalf of Family Violence Prevention Services), 7:30pm Tuesday; Trinity University, Ruth Taylor Recital Hall, One Trinity Pl., (210) 999-8217.

Emily Dickinson and Spirituality St.

Mary’s University philosophy professor Dr. Glenn Hughes explores ways Emily Dickinson used her poetic genius to address the heights and depths of human spirituality, expressing experiences of the sacred that range from ecstasy to despair, from faith to profound uncertainty. Free, 6pm Monday; Forest Hills Library, 5245 Ingram Road, (210) 207-9230.

Small Press Panel Discussion In

celebration of National Poetry Month and the 40th anniversary of Wings Press, Bryce Milligan (Wings Press publisher), Rosemary Catacalos (Texas Poet Laureate), Roberto Bonazzi (Latitudes Press publisher) and Dave Oliphant (Prickly Pear Press publisher) come together for a panel discussion to be moderated by Agnes Czeblakow.

Free, 2pm Saturday; Bihl Haus Arts, 2803 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 383-9723.

Words for Birds Poets and birders unite

for a haiku walk around Mitchell Lake, followed by a writing session and readings

by Mobi Warren, Jim LaVilla-Havelin and D. Ellis Phelps. Free, noon Sunday; Mitchell Lake Audubon Center, 10750 Pleasanton Road, (210) 628-1639.

Fiesta

10th Street River Festival The oldest

functioning VFW Post in Texas celebrates Fiesta with a weekend filled with food, cold drinks and live music ranging from tejano and oldies to country and blues. Free, noon-12:30am Thursday-Saturday; VFW Post 76, 10 10th St., (210) 223-4581.

A Day in Old Mexico and Charreada For

the last six decades, the Asociación de Charros de San Antonio has championed charrería (often described as Mexican rodeo), competing throughout the year and attracting a diverse crowd each April with its beloved Fiesta event A Day in Old Mexico. Of the 10 official suertes (competitive roping and riding events performed in period costumes), the all-female escaramuza easily stands out as a fan favorite. Created during the 1950s and officially added to the charreada mix in 1992, the choreographed skirmish showcases a team of young ladies demonstrating precision skills while riding sidesaddle in colorful dresses. $5-$15, 1-6pm Sunday; Charro Ranch, 6126 Padre Drive, (210) 396-9752.

Battle of Flowers Band Festival Organized

and sponsored by the Battle of Flowers Association, this 78th annual event features performances by 30 area high school bands as they’re judged on marching, musicality

FIESTA® SAN ANTONIO COMMISSION © JONATHAN ALONZO

22

Battle of Flowers Parade

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visit santikos.com FOR showtimes and INFORMATION

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS

618 NW Loop 410, Near Airport 210.541.8805 LOLSanAntonio.com

APRIL 24 AND 27 AT 2 PM AND 7 PM At Palladium | Rialto Silverado | Embassy | Bijou

FREE MOVIE NIGHT APRIL 28 AT 7 PM At Bijou

ROB SCHNEIDER! May 6th & 7th at LOL

As seen on SNL, Waterboy Deuce Bigelow and most recently his new show on Netflix: Real Rob

APRIL 30 AT 11:55 AM At Palladium | Embassy Silverado | Rialto

MAY 15 AND 18 AT 2 PM AND 7 PM At Palladium | Rialto Silverado | Embassy | Bijou

DEON COLE

BIJOU FEATURED FILM OF THE WEEK DON CHEADLE

MILES AHEAD

MAY 27TH-29TH

at The Improv

Black-ish, Shaq's All Stars, Angie Tribeca

In the 1970s, down-and-out jazz trumpeter Miles Davis (Don Cheadle) tries to recover his new session tape from music producers.

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK /SANTIKOSFAN AND FOLLOW US ON TWITTER @SANTIKOS

SHARE THE LEGACY. SHARE THE EXPERIENCE.

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RockIT Future into the

Science Festival

SAT. MAY 14, 2016 • 10AM-2PM FREE & OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

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Heroes Stadium | 4799 Thousand Oaks, SATX 78233

GOT DWI, DUI? GIRLSINCSA.COM 180 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

SATX: (210)394-3833 ATX: (512)278-0935

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CALENDAR

and crowd appeal. The festival wraps up with a fireworks finale and a series of songs (celebrating the theme “Texas Traditions … 125 Years!”) performed by more than 4,500 musicians. $5-$9, 6:309pm Thursday; Alamo Stadium, 110 Tuleta Drive, (210) 863-4307.

Fiesta Carnival Glittering lights, exciting

rides and a bevy of food booths pop up in the Alamodome’s parking lot for the duration of Fiesta. Free, 5pm-midnight Wednesday-Thursday, 11am-midnight Friday-Saturday, 11am-11pm Sunday; Alamodome, 100 Montana St., (210) 2073663.

Fiesta Comedy Explosion Chicago native

Godfrey (Zoolander, 30 Rock, Louie) headlines this third annual Fiesta showcase with proceeds benefiting the Priest Holmes Foundation’s Scholarship and Standards Programs. $22.50, 8pm Thursday; Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 787-6710.

Fiesta Cornyation Wayne D. Beers and his

husband Michael Bobo — the dynamic duo of W.D. Deli — preside over Cornyation’s Court of Our Mad, Mad, Mad World, complete with outrageous drag queens, city celebs and other bizarre, costumed characters parodying politicos and mocking newsmakers. $15-$40, 7:30pm & 10pm Tuesday-Thursday; Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, 226 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 226-3333.

Fiesta de los Reyes Among Fiesta’s

largest free events, the Rey Feo Consejo Educational Foundation’s Fiesta de los Reyes features daily live entertainment on multiple stages and more than 30 food booths. Free, 10am-midnight WednesdaySunday; Market Square, 514 W. Commerce St., (210) 775-2343.

Fiesta Pooch Parade Presented by the

nonprofit Therapy Animals of San Antonio, this 18th annual Fiesta event combines exhibits, presentations, a 2.6-mile walk

through the tree-lined streets of Alamo Heights and a canine costume contest. $25$35, contest at 8:15am, parade at 9:15am Saturday; Alamo Heights Swimming Pool, 250 Viesca St., (210) 614-6734.

NIOSA Do you hate massive crowds, general

jovialness and the sweet, sweet smell of a couple hundred grills throughout La Villita?

Then you might want to stay as far away from NIOSA as possible. But if you’re willing to weave around a couple thousand of your closest friends, there are plenty of musthave bites to be found, including steer on a stick, shypoke eggs and more in Frontier Town, as well as Mr. Chicken at Froggy Bottom. Be patient with your Bongo-kBobs makers at International Walkway.

Remember, these are all volunteers. $12$15, 5:30-10:30pm Wednesday-Friday; La Villita, 418 Villita St., (210) 226-5188.

Taste of the Northside We get it. Sometimes

you don’t want to leave the comfort of the North Side to enjoy a little Fiesta fun. Support the Brighton Center, which provides family and community education and developmental services for children with disabilities, and have your fill of Loopland eateries. Participating restaurants include the newly opened Buckles and Buns, Maggiano’s Little Italy, Papouli’s Greek Grill, Kona Grill, Chuy’s, Cover 3, La Fogata and Delicious Tamales. $100, 5:3010:30pm Wednesday; The Club at Sonterra, 901 Sonterra Blvd., (210) 826-4492.

Talks Plus

Adult Coloring Clare Burch, Peter Licalzi and

Brenna Dominguez from the local publisher Blue Star Coloring shed light on the popularity and benefits of adult coloring.

Free, 5:30-6:30pm Tuesday; Tobin Library at Oakwell, 4134 Harry Wurzbach Road, (210) 207-9040.

Experiencing “The Legacy of the Punjab” In conjunction with the exhibit “Sikhs: Legacy of the Punjab,” the Institute of Texan Cultures hosts a guided tour with insight from Trinity University religion professor Dr. Simran Singh followed by a sampling of classic Indian food. Space is limited; register at wacofsa.org/event/punjab. $15, 5:30-7pm Wednesday; Institute of Texan Cultures, 801 E. César Chávez Blvd., (210) 308-9494.

Voices of the West Distinguished Lecture Series: Michael Horse Known best for

his role as Deputy Tommy “Hawk” Hill on Twin Peaks, actor, artist and American Indian Film Institute board member Michael Horse speaks about the evolving roles and representations of Native Americans in popular media. $10, 6:30pm Tuesday; Briscoe Western Art Museum, 210 W. Market St., (210) 299-4499.

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POOL • DARTS • PING PONG ENJOY OUR PATIO AREA

200 10141 Wurzbach, San Antonio, Texas 78230 • (210) 877-2100 wurzbachicehouse.com • Corner of Ironside and Wurzbach

182 CURRENT • April 20-26, 2016 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

TUES

As if “Old Man” didn’t make it clear enough, Neil Young’s discography is tailor-made for intergenerational connection.

If you were born after Reagan and are worth your salt, you should be intimately familiar with at least one non-Harvest album from the world’s best bad singer. (Mine is my uncle’s threadbare tape copy of On the Beach, on which Young sounds just like Mac DeMarco wishes he did.)

At 70, Young continues to bridge the generational divide by employing Promise of the Real as his backing band. Led by Lukas Nelson — the son of the Red-Headed Stranger — Promise of the Real has backed Young since 2015’s The Monsanto Years, a concept-album damning the agribusiness giant. It’s not quite the DEVO-Young collab of yore, let alone a reincarnation of Crazy Horse, but with the capable rock ‘n’ roll band behind the Canadian icon, Young sounds 10 years his junior. With Lucinda Williams. $79-$227, 6pm, WhiteWater Amphitheater, 11860 FM 306, New Braunfels, (830) 964-3800, whitewaterrocks.com.

— Matt Stieb

Wednesday, April 20

10th Annual Siesta Fest Day one of this decade-longrunning event will showcase such artists as Greedy Rich, Take Ova South, The PiffBoyz, Cityboistreets, THRASHERS, DJ Elite, The Redland, Boome (aka Citizen Kane), Z-Ro and ... wait for it ... Kylie Jenner's main man, Tyga. So, be on the lookout for the 18-yearold media tycoon. That's success, America. The LOT on Commerce, 7pm

420 Hip-Hop Show There will be two stages of artists for this event, a Fiesta celebration of weed, that despicable plant that eases mental and physical pain, could power our cars, heat our homes and makes much of the terrible things in this world tolerable, but is illegal and therefore immoral. Featuring LaJit, Hoodlum, Amea, Blake Rules, Dopamine, Rich Jones and Krush Love. Bottom Bracket Social Club, 10:30pm

Aubrey Sellers and Erin Enderlin The daughter of Lee Ann Womack (Sellers) and a young woman who the late, great Merle Haggard billed as a "way above average, wonderful singer" will play SA's premier Americana venue. Sam's Burger Joint, 7pm

Being As An Ocean Hailing from Alpine — the California one, not the West Texas artist enclave — Being As An Ocean fuses hardcore's bursts of emotion with spoken word pieces and atmospheric rock. With '68, Capsize, Listener and Movements. The Korova, 6pm

Ford Mariachi Festival This three-day Fiesta festival, running from April 19-22, will feature the worldrenowned mariachi outfit Campanas de America, Little Joe Hernandez, 13-year-old sensation Isabelle Marie Sanchez and local middle and high school mariachi groups performing on river barges. Wyndham San Antonio River Walk, 6pm

Rebel Grrrl Wednesdays DJ Mighty Iris proves women have been a driving force behind rock 'n' roll, and not just as the inspiration for the supposedly maledominated genre, with this dame-dominated evening of female-fronted rock records. The Bang Bang Bar, 9pm

Second Annual Fiesta Baked! San Antonio is on the come up with all of these hip-hop and reggae artists playing our fair city, and on 4/20, no less.

Feelin' ourselves. Featuring Kevin McGee, Bugsy, Leon Shannon with James French, Original General Smiley, Unofficial Joab, Lion Heights, Shashamani Sound and Dub Gideon. Fitzgerald's, 4:20pm

XV Relive all those old quince feels with DJs devoted to spinning you back in time to when Selena, puffy Cinderella dresses and puppy love was all there was.

Hi-Tones, 10pm

Thursday, April 21

10th Annual Siesta Fest The second day of the

fest will feature self-proclaimed cocaine-rockers Buckcherry, Sick Puppies, The Struts, The Selfish Machines and My Madness. The LOT on Commerce, 7pm

Battle of Flowers Band Festival The 78th anniversary of the battle of the bands, featuring 30 high school bands. Alamo Stadium, 6:30pm

The County Line Live Music Series Officially titled

the "Ancira Chrysler Jeep Dodge Ram 2016 Live Music Series," (isn't corporatocracy hilarious?) the weekly showcase is back with The Statesboro Revue. The County Line, 7:30pm

Dawn & Hawkes The magic was all there right from

the start; long before they started co-writing or even fell in love. Miranda Dawn and Chris Hawkes first met in 2010 when he crossed an Austin barroom floor and asked her to dance. Six years later, the duo are still at it with sweet harmonies placed in a folk context.

Sam's Burger Joint, 8pm

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Saturday, April 23rd Transmission Events Presents

HAR MAR SUPERSTAR DOORS 6PM / SHOW 9PM - ALL AGES Sunday, April 24th Ghostpizza & Mondo Nation Present

POWER TRIP & ANTWON DOORS 1PM / SHOW 2PM - ALL AGES Monday, April 25th Transmissions Events Presents

THE COATHANGERS

DOORS 6PM / SHOW 8PM - ALL AGES Tuesday, April 26th Transmission Events Presents

THE FRONT BOTTOMS W/ BRICK + MORTAR, DIET CIG DOORS 6PM / SHOW 7PM - ALL AGES Thursday, April 28th Transmissions Events Presents

CHICANO BATMAN

W/ IMARHAN DOORS 6PM / SHOW 8PM - ALL AGES Friday, April 29th Transmission Events Presents

LEE ‘SCRATCH’ PERRY 40TH ANNIVERSARY SUPER APE TOUR DOORS 6PM / SHOW 8PM - ALL AGES Saturday, April 30th Transmissions Events Presents

HIGHLY SUSPECT

AUDIO DAMN! DOORS 6PM / SHOW 8PM - ALL AGES Tuesday, May 3rd Attaboy Burgers Presents

BEER FANG’S VHS CINEMA

$1 HOT DOGS / $7 PITCHERS DOORS 6PM / MOVIE STARTS AT SUNDOWN Wednesday, May 4th Paper Tiger Presents

“MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU”

Happy Birthday Robert Smith The pale, vampiric

SCI FI JAMS BY DJ SMARTY PANTS COSTUME CONTEST! $25 TATTOOS by DOOMSDAY! DOORS 6PM - ALL AGES

Kill Liberal Tour Kickoff On songs like “Mediocre

Friday, May 6th Transmission Events Presents

frontman of The Cure turns 326. Jack Rabbit, 9:30pm

Fuckery” and “They Keep on Doing It,” Kill Liberal blends hardcore with ska upbeats. With Lloronas, Destroy Orbison and X-Ray Vision. Nite Lite, 7pm

Mockingbird Express With bassist Josh Borchardt

BEAR MOUNTAIN + YOUNG EMPIRES

DOORS 6PM / SHOW 9PM - ALL AGES

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MUSIC

(Crown, Bright Like the Sun) drummer Kory Cook (Royal Punisher, Dark Planes) and guitarist/vocalist Marc Smith (Shiva’s Medicine Chest), Mockingbird Express’s improvisational blues chops will leave your jaw thoroughly dropped. Limelight, 9pm

St. Philip's College Culture Fest The

Fest celebrates the rich heritage of San Antonio and cultural influences of St. Philip's College as one of San Antonio's most historically distinguished and ethnically diverse institutions in higher learning, featuring live music ranging from gospel and R&B to Tejano and country.

St. Philip's College, 10am

Friday, April 22

10th Annual Siesta Fest There's no need to fear the reaper of the annual 11-day party that overtakes the city when Blue Öyster Cult offers an opportunity to go-go-Godzilla. With Mindcrime (Queensrÿche tribute band), SA Territories, Reverend Lil Timmy and Even in Death. The LOT on Commerce, 7pm

Chalie Boy Robertson County's Chalie Boy is a true Texas boy and advocate of the late Pimp C-coined genre "country rap tunes." Fitzgerald's, 9pm

Doom Out with Your Tomb Out Five Texas doom bands implore you to whip it out ... but in a brooding, bummed-out manner. Featuring The Stalk, Thunderkief, Mountain of Smoke, Leptictidium and Angrist.

Bottom Bracket Social Club, 9pm

Fiesta World Class Jazz Concert Enjoy the great sounds of national, regional and local jazz artists at this year's Annual Fiesta World Class Jazz Concert. The event, sponsored by the Music Department at St. Mary's University and the San Antonio Fiesta Commission, will feature outstanding university and junior college jazz bands along with area jazz groups setting the stage for a surprise guest artist. St. Mary's University, 1pm

The Lost Project Far From Where You Are, The Lost Project’s debut 2015 effort is an impressive sonic melting pot, drawing on pop, punk, ska, reggae, progressive and alternative rock. With After Me, The Khost and Villians. Imagine Books & Records, 8pm

Nothing Chief Residency Nick Long

of Lonely Horse, the deceased desert rock duo, plays tracks from his sensitive, exploratory solo side project at his weekly residency. Rosella Coffee Co., 7pm

Rock 'n' Wrestling Live wrestling, mojado punks Piñata Protest, riot grrrls FEA, MDI, Slick Dickens and Los Tejanos Muertos ... that's Fiesta!

Alamo City Studios, Noon

The Saarinens Like some dusty Texas

midnight, unsure if you're staring into the darkness or if it's staring at you, The Saarinens debut album Modern World is unsettlingly serene and wrought with sublime tension. With White Elefant, Madlaw. The Mix, 10pm

APRIL 22 - GARY P NUNN

Apr 21

Madison

Apr 22

Darkness Divided

Apr 23

Fiesta Takeover 2016

Apr 28

Power Age a Tribute AC/DC Band w/Special Guest Madison

Apr 30

Jonny Craig, Tilian, Kurt Travis, Myke Terry

Soulfly Max Cavalera, the former APRIL 22 GARY P NUNN

Sepultura frontman, has headed the APRIL 23 JASON JAMES mystic metal beast that is Soulfly for APRIL 29 ROGER CREAGER 19 years now, leaving a trail of whipAPRIL 30 UNCLE LUCIUS lashed metalheads in his wake. With Suffocation, Battlecross, Abnormality, Lody Kong, Covina and Wings of Abaddon. The Korova, 5pm

APRIL 23 - JASON JAMES

Saturday, April 23

Banda MS The hot-as-habanero Mazatlan ensemble provide a perfect Sinaloense sound for Fiesta! Freeman Coliseum, 8pm

APRIL 29 - ROGER CREAGER

Denzel Curry 2055: The Ult Experience The former Raider Klanaffiliate is the hood narrator for the youth and has crafted a raw and gritty style, a grips-you-by-the-shirt approach to his times growing up in Dade County. Don’t play yourself or sleep, Curry drops jewels. With Allan Kingdom and SdotBraddy. Alamo City Music Hall, 7:30pm

APRIL 30 - UNCLE LUCIUS

Fourth Annual Punk Rock Fiesta MDC, short for Millions of Dead Cops or Multi Death Corporations or Millions of Dead Children or Magnus Dominus Corpus, play their freethinking, fight-the-power punk. With Deathwish. The Korova, 6pm

MAY 14 - ELI YOUNG BAND

Junkfest 3 Cowabunga punkers Junkie, whatever lo-fi poppers Teenage Sexx, pissed skate punk powerhouse Ghost Police, The Two Lips (hehe), Surplus, Fishbrain, Baby Bangs, Dreamland and Sioux & Fox play this annual BYOB — bring your own bong — houseparty.

Junkie House, 3pm

The Official Anti Fiesta After Fiesta Cumbia Fest DJ El Robotico, who

14492 Old Bandera Rd Helotes, TX (210)695-8827

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MUSIC

you may know as the frontman for Bombasta Barrio Big Band, and DJs Cumbiaxuahqui and El Electric Messiah spin that shit that manages to sway Republicans from their allegiance to Donald Drumpf when it gets within earshot. #DanceTillTheyDumpTrump.

Toro Taco Bar, 10pm

Timewheel Takeover The local label

features some of their homegrown electronic-indie talent at "the loudest bookstore in Texas." Mayad, LaJit, Maslo and Reek Savage. Imagine Books & Records, 8pm

Sunday, April 24

Amy Grant If all we have to prove that Amy Grant is not the Devil —something many conspiracy theorists propose — is her sacharrine-sweet catalog of Hallmark ditties, isn't that actually a better case for her being the Antichrist?

With Nichole Nordeman and Ellie Holcomb. Majestic Theatre, 7:30pm

The Block Party ft. Curren$y Originally signed to Master P's No Limit Records as a 504 Boy, followed by Lil Wayne's Young Money Entertainment and now on his own label, Jet Life Recordings, the NOLA rapper proves he's got staying power. With Swanny Ivy, Mateo Sun, Nu Money OG and Ratchet Lo. Fitzgerald's, 5pm

Fiestapalooza 2016 Bang your sombrero and celebrate with hair metal god Tracii Guns of LA Guns. With Flesh Electric, Blackout USA, Jason Kane + The Drive, The Surlys, Iron King Stag and Tribal Energy. The Korova, 5pm

Fiesta Blues Heritage Series 2016 "The blues are the true facts of life expressed in words

and song, inspiration, feeling and understanding." -Willie Dixon. With John Nemeth, Smokehouse Guitar Army and the Lesti Huff Band. Sam's Burger Joint, Noon

Kidz Bop: Life of the Party Tour The kiddy capitalist entity known as Kidz Bop — a money makin' machine that strips dirty words and suggestive themes from Top 40 pop songs and has the refurbished tune sung by cherubic tweens and distributed worldwide hits SA. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 6pm

Monday, April 25

The Coathangers Atlanta's gravelthroated party punks, named for the back alley weapon of choice against the unborn. I Think. Paper Tiger, 7pm

Swing Nite with Two Tons of Steel With a new drummer in tow, Kevin Geil and the Two Tons boys bring their boot-scootin’ badassery to Swing Nite.

Sam's Burger Joint, 7pm

Tuesday, April 26

Cypress Hill: 25th Anniversary World Tour The 1990s were the golden era of hip-hop b-boys and girls gathered ’round to hear what’s been called the greatest time capsule of modern urban music ever. Cypress Hill contributed to that greatness with hit after smokable hit. Aztec Theatre, 7pm

The Front Bottoms Front Bottoms feature every characteristic of the recent hybrid of indie and emo, a Frankenstein teenager that yearns for slightly zany vocals, catchy hooks and woe-is-me lyrics. With Brick + Mortar and Diet Cig. Paper Tiger, 6pm

Alamo City Music Hall 1305 E. Houston St., alamocitymusichall.com Alamo City Studios 1113 E. Houston St., (210) 255-1899, sanantoniofilmsociety.com Alamo Stadium 110 Tuleta Dr., (210) 554-2655, saisd.net/athletics

Aztec Theatre 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com Bottom Bracket Social Club 1609 N. Colorado St., (210) 267- 9160, facebook.com/bottombracketsocialclub Fitzgerald’s 437 McCarty Road #101, (210) 629-5141, facebook.com/fitzgeraldsbarsa Freeman Coliseum 3201 E. Houston St., freemancoliseum. com Hi-Tones 621 E. Dewey Pl., hitonessa.com Imagine Books & Records 8373 Culebra Road, (210) 236-7668, imaginebookstore.com Jack Rabbit 6322 San Pedro Ave., (210) 202-8989 Junkie House 8707 Ted St. Limelight 2718 N. St. Mary’s St., thelimelightsa.com Majestic Theatre 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-5700, majesticempire. com Nite Lite 714 Fredericksburg Road, nitelitesa.com Paper Tiger 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersa.com Rosella Coffee Co. 203 E. Jones Ave. #101, (210) 277-8574, rosellacoffee.com Sam’s Burger Joint 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com St. Mary's University 1 Camino Santa Maria, stmarytx.edu St. Philip's College 1801 Martin Luther King Dr., (210) 486-2000, alamo.edu/spc The Bang Bang Bar 119 El Mio Drive, (210) 833-2203, facebook.com/thebangbangbar210 The County Line 10101 I-10 W., (210) 6411998, countyline.com/countyline10 The Korova 107 E. Martin St., (210) 226-5070, thekorova.com The LOT on Commerce 1231 E. Commerce St., siestafest.com The Mix 2403 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 735-1313 Tobin Center for the Performing Arts 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org Toro Taco Bar 114 Brooklyn Ave., (210) 320-1607, torotacobar.com Wyndham San Antonio River Walk 111 E. Pecan St., (210) 354-2800, wyndhamsariverwalk.com

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WOMEN ON THE VERGE SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage I’ve been aware of my emetophilia since a very young age and have always kept it private. No need to tell me about the health risks, I’m aware, and I’ve only ever indulged this kink through videos online. The actual substance doesn’t turn me on — I have no desire to be puked on.

For me, the fantasy involves being with someone as they begin to feel sick, and then taking care of them as they puke. It has something to do with the buildup and release.

Who knows? I’m married, and I told my husband about my kink exactly once, a few years ago. He wasn’t judgmental, but he never brought it up again. We have a great sex life otherwise, and I’ve always assumed I’d have satisfying, normal sex with my husband and masturbate to this kink in private. But recently, on a whim, I posted a message on a kink site. A few weeks later, a guy reached out to say the description exactly mirrored his own kink. We’ve been texting for a few weeks. He makes me feel like less of a freak, it’s been super hot, and we’ve talked about meeting up and role-playing for each other. It makes me go crazy just to think about this. In light of the health risks — and the fact that I’m married — this would be a one-time thing. Do I have to tell my husband? I don’t want to have sex with this person; I just want to live out my fantasy for one night, which doesn’t necessarily involve getting naked. But obviously we will both get off, so there’s a definite sexual element. My husband and I have had threesomes, so he’s not a “strictly monogamous” guy, but it is new for me to strike out on my own. But more than that, I’m mortified at the thought of him knowing about the kind of night I’m having, asking me about it later, etc. I would just rather him not know. But is that cheating?

A Lady Emetophile Meets Her Match

The answer to your last question — is that cheating? — is obvious. If that wasn’t cheating, ALEMHM, or if you thought your husband wouldn’t regard it as cheating, you would be asking him for permission to meet up with your vomit buddy. So let’s just run with the assumption that getting together with your VB would constitute infidelity, if the low-grade, nonpenetrative, not-foreveryone kind.

So do you have to tell your husband?

You could tell your husband — and lots of people will insist you must tell your husband — but I’m sitting here, in this Starbucks on Lex and 78th, wondering if your husband would rather not be told.

You shared your kink with your husband once, and he never brought it up again. We can reasonably assume that your husband isn’t interested in discussing, much less indulging, this very particular sexual interest of yours.

Another reasonable assumption: Your kink may not be something your husband wants to think about. The awareness of your kink, to use Emily “Dear Prudence Emeritus” Yoffe’s phrase, could be a libido killer for him. If your husband worked at stuffing your disclosure down the memory hole, because it interferes with his ability to connect with you sexually, asking permission to spend an evening with your VB could come as an unwelcome reminder.

So you could make — as I’ve just made — an argument for sparing your husband the reminder, and sparing yourself the discomfort, by not telling and/or asking him, and then discreetly meeting up with your VB just this once.

(The counterargument is also easily made: He never brought it up again because he picked up on your shame, he didn’t want to distress you, etc.) But if you decide to meet your VB, ALEMHM, weigh the risks (what happens if you get caught?) against the rewards (scratching this off your kidney dish list!), meet up with your VB in public first, and let someone know where you are and who you’re with on the big night. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

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JONESIN’ CROSSWORD by Matt Jones

Answer on page 181

Are you healthy and Hispanic?

ICON Early Phase Services is seeking Hispanic men and women in good health for a clinical research study.

Ask about study AL007:

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ACROSS

1 Dizzy Gillespie’s genre 6 Many August babies, astrologically 10 At a great distance 14 “Captain Blood” star Flynn 15 Prefix for pus 16 Solitary 17 1912 Nobel Peace Prize winner Root 18 What the three circled areas represent 20 ___ Aviv, Israel 21 Submits, as a sweepstakes entry 23 Illuminated 24 Auto mechanic’s service 26 “___ Wiedersehen!”

28 Tiny drink [Miss class] 30 “A Boy Named ___” [Confident] 34 Taverns [Loses one’s lunch] 38 Spigot [Links hazard] 39 Slip-___ [Burden] 40 Baseball card info [Set in motion] 41 Hosp. workers [Howard and Jeremy, for two] 42 History [“Blue Ribbon” name] 44 Deep-___ [Slugfest] 45 “Yes ___!” [Andes native] 47 Casserole bit [“Guilty,” e.g.]

48 Riddle-me-___ [Belgian

painter Magritte] 49 Brazilian soccer legend [Key’s comedy partner] 50 Blasting stuff [Campsite shelter] 51 Curvy letter [PC bailout keys] 52 “Mustache Hat” artist Jean 54 Lend a larcenous hand 56 Go back, like the tide 59 Bill killers 63 “As I suspected!”

66 Person who’s ready when an insertion is made 68 Blend completely 70 Not contaminated 71 “CHiPs” star Estrada 72 Hip-hop artist Jermaine 73 Transmitted 74 Bumps on the back, maybe 75 Short-lived Ford

DOWN

1 Salad bar veggie 2 Detective novelist ___ Stanley Gardner 3 Vividness 4 Outburst with a wince 5 Eve of “The Brady Bunch” 6 Centers of focus 7 “Green” sci.

8 Soul singer Redding 9 Braga of “Kiss of the Spider Woman” 10 Every bit

11 Ignoramus 12 “Freeze” tag?

13 Time off 19 Cold-shoulders 22 “The Fox and the Crow” author 25 Swedish home of Scandinavia’s oldest university 27 Label for the dietconscious 28 Remove, as paint 29 31 Ill-suited 32 33 Dusseldorf neighbor 35 Philatelists’ prized possessions, perhaps 36 37 Eye afflictions 43 Mongolian invader 46 Derring-do 53 Actress Rosie 55 Flip of a hit single 56 Mike of “Fifty Shades of Black” 57 In a glum mood 58 Hoedown site 60 “To Venus and Back” singer Amos 61 “I’m ___, boss!”

62 Alarmed squeals 64 Put on the payroll 65 Angle of a branch 67 As of now 69 Water + dirt

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): “The writer should never be ashamed of staring,” said Aries writer Flannery O’Connor.

“There is nothing that does not require his attention.” This is also true for all of you Aries folks, not just the writers among you. And the coming weeks will be an especially important time for you to cultivate a piercing gaze that sees deeply and shrewdly. You will thrive to the degree that you notice details you might normally miss or regard as unimportant. What you believe and what you think won’t be as important as what you perceive. Trust your eyes.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): The ancient Greek geographer Pausanias told a story about how the famous poet Pindar got his start. One summer day, young Pindar decided to walk from his home in Thebes to a city 20 miles away. During his trek, he got tired and lay down to take a nap by the side of the road. As he slept, bees swarmed around him and coated his lips with wax. He didn’t wake up until one of the bees stung him. For anyone else, this might have been a bother. But Pindar took it as an omen that he should become a lyric poet, a composer of honeyed verses. And that’s exactly what he did in the ensuing years. I foresee you having an experience comparable to Pindar’s sometime soon, Taurus. How you interpret it will be crucial.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): “I measure the strength of a spirit by how much truth it can take,” said philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. Measured by that standard, your strength of spirit has been growing — and may be poised to reach an all-time high. In my estimation, you now have an unusually expansive capacity to hold surprising, effervescent, catalytic truths. Do you dare invite all these insights and revelations to come pouring toward you? I hope so. I’ll be cheering you on, praying for you to be brave enough to ask for as much as you can possibly accommodate.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): Göbekli Tepe was a monumental religious sanctuary built 11,600 years ago in the place we now call Turkey. Modern archaeologists are confounded by the skill and artistry with which its massive stone pillars were arranged and carved. According to conventional wisdom, humans of that era were primitive nomads who hunted animals and foraged for plants. So it’s hard to understand how they could have constructed such an impressive structure 7,000 years before the Great Pyramid of Giza.

Writing in National Geographic, science journalist Charles C. Mann said, “Discovering that hunter-gatherers had constructed Göbekli Tepe was like finding that someone had built a 747 in a basement with an X-Acto knife.” In

that spirit, Cancerian, I make the following prediction: In the coming months, you can accomplish a marvel that may have seemed beyond your capacity.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): In myths and folklore, the ember is a symbol of coiledup power. The fire within it is controlled. It provides warmth and glow even as its raw force is contained. There are no unruly flames.

How much energy is stored within? It’s a reservoir of untapped light, a promise of verve and radiance. Now please ruminate further about the ember, Leo. According to my reading of the astrological omens, it’s your core motif right now.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): Uhoh. Or maybe I should instead say “Hooray!”

You are slipping into the Raw Hearty Vivid Untamed Phase of your astrological cycle.

The universe is nudging you in the direction of high adventure, sweet intensity, and rigorous stimulation. If you choose to resist the nudges, odds are that you’ll have more of an “uhoh” experience. If you decide to play along, “hooray!” is the likely outcome. To help you get in the proper mood, make the following declaration: “I like to think that my bones are made from oak, my blood from a waterfall, and my heart from wild daisies.” (That’s a quote from the poet McKenzie Stauffer.)

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): In many cultures, the butterfly is a symbol of transformation and rebirth. In its original state as a caterpillar, it is homely and slow-moving.

After its resurrection time in the chrysalis, it becomes a lithe and lovely creature capable of flight. The mythic meaning of the moth is quite different, however. Enchanted by the flame, it’s driven so strongly toward the light that it risks burning its wings. So it’s a symbol of intense longing that may go too far. In the coming weeks, Libra, your life could turn either way.

You may even vacillate between being mothlike and butterfly-like. For best results, set an intention. What exactly do you want?

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21): “Difficulties illuminate existence,” says novelist Tom Robbins, “but they must be fresh and of high quality.” Your assignment, Sagittarius, is to go out in search of the freshest and highest-quality difficulties you can track down. You’re slipping into a magical phase of your astrological cycle when you will have exceptional skill at rounding up useful dilemmas and exciting riddles. Please take full advantage! Welcome this rich opportunity to outgrow and escape boring old problems.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19): “When I grow up, I want to be a little boy,” wrote novelist Joseph Heller in his book Something Happened. You have cosmic permission to make a comparable declaration in the coming days. In fact, you have a poetic license and a spiritual mandate to utter battle cries like that as often as the mood strikes.

Feel free to embellish and improvise, as well: “When I grow up, I want to be a riot girl with a big brash attitude,” for example, or “When I grow up, I want to be a beautiful playful monster with lots of toys and fascinating friends who constantly amaze me.”

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18): In

one of his diaries, author Franz Kafka made this declaration: “Life’s splendor forever lies in wait around each one of us in all of its fullness — but veiled from view, deep down, invisible, far off.

It is there, though, not hostile, not reluctant, not deaf. If you summon it by the right word, by its right name, it will come.” I’m bringing this promise to your attention, Aquarius, because you have more power than usual to call forth a command performance of life’s hidden splendor.

You can coax it to the surface and bid it to spill over into your daily rhythm. For best results, be magnificent as you invoke the magnificence.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): I’ve got a controversial message for you, Pisces.

If you’re addicted to your problems or if you’re convinced that cynicism is a supreme mark of intelligence, what I’ll say may be offensive.

Nevertheless, it’s my duty as your oracle to inform you of the cosmic tendencies, and so I will proceed. For the sake of your mental health and the future of your relationship with love, consider the possibility that the following counsel from French author André Gide is just what you need to hear right now: “Know that joy is rarer, more difficult, and more beautiful than sadness. Once you make this all-important discovery, you must embrace joy as a moral obligation.”

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): “I gladly abandon dreary tasks, rational scruples, reactive undertakings imposed by the world,” wrote Scorpio philosopher Roland Barthes.

Why did he do this? For the sake of love, he said — even though he knew it might cause him to act like a lunatic as it freed up tremendous energy. Would you consider pursuing a course like that in the coming weeks, Scorpio? In my astrological opinion, you have earned some time off from the grind. You need a break from the numbing procession of the usual daily rhythms.

Is there any captivating person, animal, adventure, or idea that might so thoroughly incite your imagination that you’d be open to acting like a lunatic lover with boundless vigor?

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