San Antonio Current – March 28, 2018

MARCH 28-APRIL 3

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Madness The

Stops Here What to expect from the Final Four and where to party between games

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FIRST WORDS 1

29

On Your Favorite Restaurant is Closing Tomorrow (And It’s Your Fault) // Stop charging $13 for a fucking sandwich if you want to stay in business. Fine dining my ass... it's a fucking sandwich. – Derek Justin

09

Issue 18_13 /// March 27-April 3, 2018

On Actor Jason Isaacs Talks Ban on The Death of Stalin, Trump’s Insane Behavior // Awesome article, San Antonio Current! Love Jason Isaacs and been waiting for this movie to come out. The parallels between the movie material and Trump can’t be denied. But, as they say, history repeats itself. – Anna Olvera

Their Town Welcome, Final Four customers!

Partying Like Champs Where to eat, drink and celebrate this Final Four weekend

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Closing out one of most chaotic series in years, the 2018 NCAA Men's Final Four rolls into San Antonio this weekend. We preview the tournament and help you figure out where to eat, drink, and party between games.

Illustration and art direction by Carlos Aguilar 6

CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

CALENDAR

Our top picks for the week

27

ARTS + CULTURE

Challenging Misconceptions Guadalupe exhibition offers critical view of Alamo mythology

The NCAA’s Wild Ride Arrives at the Alamodome Here’s what you need to know about Kansas, Loyola, Michigan and Villanova

On Celebrating Colonization?: The Oldest Living San Antonian Cultures are Fighting Erasure // Great article. And with fiesta we must ask what are we celebrating. – Jimmy James

COVER

20

Breaking the Glass Democracy Prep is just part of Pedro Martinez’s radical plan to remake SAISD

On Nina Diaz Just Dropped A New Music Video and It's Dope AF // The death of the English language is real – Mgtow Joe

ON THE

NEWS

SCREENS

Russian Droll The Death of Stalin is a timely, pitchblack political satire

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MUSIC

Meet Ada Vox A fierce singing drag queen on American Idol repping San Antonio Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

31

FOOD

Burger Hermanos Baller on a budget at Dos The Big Spoon When Netflix lets you down

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NIGHTLIFE

Tipple Test The Cookhouse nixes lunch for a New Orleans happy hour

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ETC.

Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology

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Where San Antonio Meets

sacurrent.com • March 28-April 3, 2018 • CURRENT 7

CULTURE

tickets

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FRI, DEC. 7

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CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

NEWS

Welcome, Final Four

THEIR TOWN

GREG JEFFERSON

Customers This weekend’s NCAA Men’s Final Four will put on display San Antonio’s go-to money-making skills – hosting big events, showing visitors a good time, and leaving national audiences with a favorable impression.

The basketball spectacle starts Saturday and ends with the national championship game Monday night.

Downtown hotels, restaurants, bars and nightclubs will be slammed. The walkways along the Riverwalk will be clogged with gawking out-of-towners wearing their college teams’ colors. Jesse Torres, bar manager at Rosella at the Rand on Houston Street, thinks the Final Four will draw crowds big enough to spill over into the parts of downtown that, like his, usually don’t get a bunch of customers here for major events.

“We’re really looking forward to the spike – to seeing people we don’t normally see,” Torres said. Visitors who don’t want to wait an hour or more to eat on the Riverwalk, he said, will likely venture a few blocks out of the major-hotel bubble to see what there is on West Houston Street and other parts of the center city.

It’ll be a big payday. Visit San Antonio, the publicprivate nonprofit that promotes the city as a leisure and convention destination, expects 93,000 out-of-towners to show up for the Final Four, ready to spend a total of $186 million.

That’ll mean a lot of worn-out servers, bussers, cooks, and bartenders. Hopefully, they’ll go home at the end of it all with their pockets stuffed with tips or payouts.

The Final Four will also be a reminder that the hospitality industry is still one of the biggest and fastest-growing parts of San Antonio’s economy. And it’s definitely one of the lowest paying.

Tourism has been a bedrock industry here at least since HemisFair ’68 put a huge exclamation point on the

Riverwalk. State officials used to identify the Alamo as Texas’s top tourist attraction year after year. But that was bullshit. Everyone knew it was the Riverwalk.

It’s the linchpin of an industry – including hotels, amusement parks, restaurants, bars, and entertainment venues – that delivered a $13.6-billion jolt to the city’s economy in 2015, according to a study commissioned

by Visit San Antonio and San Antonio Area Tourism Council. Only the military and the health-care and biosciences industry beat its economic impact.

The problem is, and always has been, the low pay.

And there’s another catch – employers in the industry are adding jobs faster than almost anybody else. While the overall number of San Antonio’s nonfarm jobs grew in February by 2.4 percent, year-over-year, leisure and hospitality operators created jobs at a 5.6-percent clip, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.

“Many of the new jobs offered in [San Antonio] have been lower-paying leisure and hospitality sector jobs, not jobs in the higher-paying sectors,” Frost Bank economist Bill Sirakos said.

That’s been true for a long time, but there was a surge in hotel and restaurant hiring in late 2017 because of Hurricane Harvey. The storm drove thousands of Texans from the Gulf Coast to San Antonio and other in-land cities in early September. Families and individuals who could afford it, or at least had enough room on their credit cards, put themselves up in hotels and motels, and ate out.

That jump in hotel, restaurant and other related service jobs is part of the reason San Antonio’s average hourly wage – across all industries – dipped in late 2017 to $23.07. That was $2.49 below the state average and $3.56 below the national, according to a recent report

JAIME MONZON

San Antonio's hospitality industry is one of its fastest growing – and lowest paying by the Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas.

That may be chilling but it’s not new. San Antonio’s wage-earners have struggled, and failed, to keep up with their counterparts across Texas and the country. Not even the city’s low unemployment rate, which results in employers paying more to attract workers, has closed the gap.

Christopher Slijk, senior research analyst at the Dallas Fed’s San Antonio branch, cites San Antonio’s “relatively high concentration of hospitality, tourism, and lowerwage home health care workers compared to the state, as well as the lower educational attainment compared to the state average.”

Economic-development officials are working to attract better-paying jobs in fields that require higher skills and/ or higher education. But there’s no getting around how important tourism is to San Antonio’s economy. You can see it in how they talk about the visitor industry – gingerly.

The following statement from Jennifer Saucedo-Herrera, president of the San Antonio Economic Development Foundation, is a good example.

“With our community’s extensive military legacy and assets, we have the opportunity to lead industries like IT, cybersecurity and bioscience,” Saucedo-Herrera said.

“When we grow these target industries, our hospitality, tourism and other service industries are positively impacted as well. San Antonio is characteristically welcoming and collaborative, a unique selling point for this community, and evidenced by the success of our hospitality industry.”

With that, enjoy the Final Four, and dig deep when it’s time to tip your servers and bartenders. If you’re a server or bartender, good luck.

sacurrent.com • March 28-April 3, 2018 • CURRENT 9

5 PINT BREW CRAWL 8 T H

A N N U A L

SATURDAY, APRIL 14TH 500 CAROLINA ST | 8:45 AM - 6:00PM | BOARDING BEGINS AT 8:45AM SHARP | BUS DEPARTS AT 9AM TO VISIT THE FOLLOWING BREWERIES:

Tour fee includes: Pint glass from each brewery we visit, lunch, light dinner, ample samples, chartered bus.

All participants must be 21 years old. No children.

$95.00 CASH, LIMITED TO 57 SEATS. NO REFUNDS WITHIN 10 DAYS OF EVENT.

Assign a designated Driver, or we can arrange a cab, please ask!!!

Starting Location: 500 Carolina Street, San Antonio, Texas 78210

Point of contact 5pintcrawl@gmail.com

10

CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

NEWS

Breaking

the Glass ALMA HERNANDEZ FOR FOLO MEDIA.

Democracy Prep is just part of Pedro Martinez’s radical plan to remake SAISD BEKAH MCNEEL

>

SAISD Superintendent Pedro Martinez advocates for a partnership with Democracy Prep Public School at the Jan. 22, 2018, board meeting.

San Antonio ISD is in the midst of one of the most drastic turnaround efforts in the United States. If that sounds hyperbolic, just check out national education news websites like Education Week and the 74 Million. All eyes are on SAISD to see what superintendent Pedro Martinez will do next.

Martinez was hired in 2015 to rescue the struggling district. Since the 1960s, SAISD has been hemorrhaging students and falling in and out of trouble with the Texas Education Agency. While notable schools such as Young Women’s Leadership Academy and Travis Early College High School have achieved national Blue Ribbon status, 18 SAISD schools failed to meet state standards for the 20162017 school year. Many had been failing for multiple years.

With no members up for re-election in 2018 and political capital to burn, the SAISD board remains in lockstep with Martinez, clearing the way for the superintendent’s boldest moves – even the ones that may cost them the support of their teachers union.

Turning around a school is difficult, and it takes time.

Turning around a district of 90 campuses and 50,000 students is a gigantic challenge. Making it even tougher, 93 percent of those students qualify as “economically disadvantaged,” the U.S. Department of Education’s category for low-income families. This income level is higher than the federal poverty line. But SAISD kids don’t fare well by that measure either. In two zip codes served by the district, more than 40 percent of people live in poverty.

This is what researchers call “concentrated poverty,” and it’s kryptonite for schools.

Martinez isn’t shy about the strain that concentrated poverty places on the district, and he’s even less shy about the measures he’s taking to overcome it. The district has entered partnerships with Trinity University, the University of Texas at San Antonio, Texas A&M-San Antonio, Our Lady of the Lake University, the Culinary Institute of America, Relay Graduate School of Education, Tech Bloc, H-E-B, and many local nonprofits to increase student opportunities and support learning.

The board passed a $450 million bond in November 2016. On the same ballot, SAISD voters approved a $0.13 tax rate increase, bringing more than $30 million more per year into the district to hire master teachers.

The district has also enlisted more controversial partners: charter schools. At its March 19 meeting, the SAISD board approved a management agreement and charter application to bring in New York-based Democracy Prep Public Schools to operate its lowest performing school, P. F. Stewart Elementary. The decision has enflamed the San Antonio Alliance of Teachers and Support Personnel, the union that represents SAISD teachers and non-administrative staff.

Martinez is not flinching.

“We’re not going to apologize for advocating for these children,” Martinez said at a press conference on March 19, “Because somebody has to.”

The Alliance, along with representatives from other AFLCIO affiliates, packed the boardroom ahead of the vote, accusing Martinez and the board of duplicity and of selling out the district.

“I heard that if this passes, it’s going to be open season for all your board members. They’re gonna come after you,” community advocate Henrietta Flores Legrange told board members during the meeting.

The board is not flinching either.

Trustee Art Valdez rarely says much during board meetings. He is the board’s vice president, an SAISD alum, aircraft engineer, and father of local artist Vincent Valdez.

He is a steady voice, but not a loud one. Tonight, however, Valdez had something to say.

“I’ve lived in the district all my life,” Valdez said, reiterating his passion for the district. However, he said, San Antonio does not share his affection for its namesake district. “The mentality out there is that we have failing schools… It is time that we transform this district, or we’re going to continue the same as we have done for years and years and years.”

While the board may be taking bold steps, it is not entirely true that the alternative would be to continue on as they have been for years. A 2015 state law, House Bill 1842, allows the Texas Education Commissioner to shut down campuses that have failed to meet standard for five years or more.

SAISD is no stranger to closing schools. Falling enrollment and lagging test scores have led to the closure of six schools in the past three years. Stewart’s enrollment has fallen over the past three years as well, and test scores have not responded to previous rescue efforts.

However, that’s not the most extreme option available to the state under HB 1842. It could replace the school board sacurrent.com • March 28-April 3, 2018 • CURRENT 11

Seeking Volunteers The Southside’s newest favorite park is ready. Join us for a day-long festival with live music, activities and outdoor fun as we officially open this 43-acre greenspace on the Brooks campus. Free and open to the public.

saturday, april 14 10:00 am-10:30 aM

10:30 am-2:00 PM

Opening Ceremony and Dedication

Activities throughout the park

The Greenline, 2532 Sidney Brooks

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CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

For more information visit

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ALMA HERNANDEZ FOR FOLO MEDIA.

NEWS

11815 PERRIN BEITEL RD | 210-627-6008

“THE DRAG DESTINATION” LGBTQ FRIENDLY Shannon Elledge, an SAISD teacher and a member of the San Antonio Alliance of Teachers Support and Personnel, protests ahead of a board vote to move forward with a partnership between Stewart Elementary School and Democracy Prep Public Schools, Monday, Jan. 22, 2018.

with a board of managers, as it has done (for other reasons) in Southside ISD and Edgewood ISD. The district’s life raft is a newer law, Senate Bill 1882, passed by the 2017 Legislature. This law allows districts to avoid sanction for two years by bringing in a nonprofit organization, charter operator, institution of higher education or other government entity to operate a failing school.

If an SAISD school becomes a charter school under SB 1882, the district will also get an additional $1,404 per student at that school.

Democracy Prep, by law and as part of their contract with SAISD, will be required to serve every student zoned to Stewart Elementary.

“The whole purpose of (the partnership with Democracy Prep), ironically, is to keep it as a neighborhood school,” Martinez said.

The district has other charter partners, and other schools that will be operated by SB 1882 partnerships. Charter management organization John H. Wood already operates Brewer Academy, a special needs campus. Relay Graduate School of Education will operate Ogden and Storm elementary schools under the SB 1882 rules.

The difference at Stewart is that Democracy Prep will have the authority to hire and fire teachers at-will.

“I can’t control quality for those kids at Stewart if I can’t control teachers,” Democracy Prep CEO Katie Duffy said after a parent meeting at Stewart on March 22.

As employees of Democracy Prep, SAISD teachers would lose one of the most protective contracts available to public school teachers in the state of Texas. Under a “continuing” contract, the district must engage in a lengthy process to fire a teacher.

Proponents say that it prevents teachers from being punished when students struggle on standardized tests, which is common in high poverty schools. Critics say that continuing contracts protect underperforming teachers who could be doing more to advance their students in spite of the challenges of poverty.

The union has raised other concerns about the charter operator, including its history of “no excuses” disciplinary policies and inadequate services for English language learners. The district has gone to great lengths to answer those concerns.

Time will tell how well things work on campus, but bilingual education and disciplinary practices that emphasize conflict resolution are two of the stated goals of the partnership.

Contracts, on the other hand, are clearer-cut. Democracy Prep employees are typically paid more than their peers in other cities where they operate, but they do not have continuing contracts like SAISD teachers, meaning it’s easier for the charter operator to fire educators.

As Martinez’s big changes build momentum, the big question now becomes whether the Alliance will again become a productive ally, or if union battles await him at every turn.

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14 CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

NEWS

The

NCAA’s Wild Ride Arrives at the Alamodome Here’s what you need to know about Kansas, Loyola, Michigan and Villanova

≥

BRUNO PASSOS

Jayhawks clawed their way to the Final Four after an overtime win against Duke on Sunday, their third tournament game in a row decided by four points or less.

The Jayhawks aren’t packed with their usual cast of top-flight talent, but they remain a well-coached group that boasts potential National Player of the Year Devonte’ Graham, big man Udoka Azubuike, and Elite Eight hero Malik Newman. Newman propelled Kansas past Duke behind his 32 points, 13 of which came in overtime.

Kansas also has tradition on its side. No team in the field comes close to the 15 Final Four appearances they now have. While they haven’t gotten this far since 2012, the Jayhawks have not relinquished their place atop the Big 12 conference, winning the regular season conference title every year since 2005.

On the opposite side of the bracket is third-seed Michigan. The Wolverines have counted on a slow pace as well as the guard play of guys like Muhammad-Ali AbdurRahkman and Charles Matthews to get here. Both AbdurRahkman and Matthews can attack defenses off the dribble; when that fails, the team can also count on German big man Moritz Wagner, who can score inside and out.

Interesting details abound on the Wolverines’ roster, from a senior with the San Antonio-approved name of Duncan Robinson (in a statistical quirk, Michigan wins whenever the aptly named basketball player scores 6 or more points, which he’s done 22 times this season) to a walk-on and former student manager, C.J. Baird, who not only checked into Michigan’s Sweet 16 win over Texas A&M but fulfilled a childhood dream by hitting a threepointer in the NCAA Tournament.

The Wolverines come into San Antonio as the hottest team in the country, winners of 13 in a row, which has included a Big Ten tournament title and wins over both Houston and Texas A&M in the West region of the NCAA Tournament. While they’ve impressed, it hasn’t hurt that their path to the Final Four was blazed by some of the biggest bracket-busting results, allowing them to face the 14, 6, 7 and 9 seeds on their way to San Antonio. Now it’s unlikely 11-seeded Loyola University Chicago will stand in their way.

The aforementioned Ramblers have somehow (or dare we say, miraculously) emerged from a region that included powerhouses Arizona, Kentucky, Tennessee, Cincinnati, and overall number one seed Virginia. This isn’t their first rodeo technically (they made and won the Final Four once, in 1963), but make no mistake – Loyola Chicago is most certainly the Cinderella of this tournament.

Despite tying the lowest seed to ever reach the Final Four, this group is not short on confidence – or belief. A big reason for both: 98-year-old Sister Jean Dolores Schmidt, the former basketball player, turned nun, turned school teacher, turned academic advisor and (since the early 90s) chaplain for the basketball team. Sister Jean has famously been courtside during her school’s incredible run, but she’s far more than a face in the crowd, leading the team in pre-game prayers laced with scouting reports on the opposing team.

While Sister Jean has captured the imaginations of many college basketball fans, it’s the Loyola Chicago players who have been responsible for some of the tournament’s biggest moments on the court. Marques Townes and Mountain Valley Conference Player of the Year Clayton Custer have both hit game-winning jumpers, while freshman Cameron Krutwig (one of the few underclassmen to play an important role on the team) has given them an inside presence throughout with his soft touch and a number of old-school post moves.

The Ramblers don’t overwhelm opponents with singular talents, but they are a well-disciplined squad of mostly upperclassmen who have not wilted under the spotlight.

Whether or not their run ends on Saturday against Michigan, their presence adds the perfect dash of enchantment and unpredictability to the 2018 Final Four, and is one of the many reasons the attention of millions will be on San Antonio heading into this final, increasingly mad weekend of college basketball.

CARLOS AGUILAR

The Men’s Final Four Championship is back in town for the first time in a decade, as one of the wildest NCAA Tournaments in recent memory careens towards its muchanticipated conclusion in the Alamodome.

This year’s field is a mix of long shots and powerhouses, with a trio of major programs and one unlikely Catholic university buoyed by faith and boundless self-belief. None of the seven qualifying Texas teams survived, but the mix of tradition and new blood (not to mention a player named Duncan Robinson) make San Antonio a fitting backdrop for these teams to duke it out.

For days, the Alamo City will be awash with the maize and gold of Michigan, navy blue of Villanova, crimson and blue of Kansas, and Gryffindor-esque maroon and gold of Loyola University Chicago. Each school brings something different to the table – a microcosm of a tournament that’s felt less like a hierarchy of dominant and less dominant squads, and more like a 68-way version of rock-paper-scissors. Anyone can truly beat anyone, something we learned in the opening weekend when overall number one seed University of Virginia lost to University of Maryland, Baltimore County, the first-ever 1-16 upset in tournament history.

Your bracket, like UVA’s title hopes, has likely been ground to dust by now. Still intact, though: a competition that’s loaded with well-coached, versatile, fun teams, and one that’s still ripe for an upset or two.

A handful of Villanova players will be familiar with this weekend’s atmosphere, and its stakes. Jalen Brunson, Mikal Bridges, Donte DiVincenzo, and Phil Booth were all underclassmen on the Wildcats team that stunned the North Carolina Tar Heels in the final moments of the 2016 NCAA title game. They’re now juniors and seniors, forming part of a wellbalanced team that lost only four games in the regular season and led the entire country in scoring at 87 points per game.

The 6’3” Brunson (19.3 points per game) leads six players who average double figures in scoring. He’s the prototypical point guard for the college game, an experienced, mindful playmaker who can impose his will off the dribble and set up his teammates. If the Wildcats win it all, it’s hard to imagine him not playing a vital role.

Villanova will face off with No. 1-seeded Kansas in their Saturday-night semifinal, in a duel that some might consider the tournament’s deciding matchup. The

sacurrent.com • March 28-April 3, 2018 • CURRENT 15

NEWS

Partying Like

Champs Where to eat, drink and celebrate this Final Four weekend CHRIS CONDE, + JESSICA ELIZARRARAS + GREG JEFFERSON & BRYAN RINDFUSS

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CARLOS AGUILAR

Maybe you’re a huge Kansas, Loyola, Michigan or Villanova fan, and you’ll remember the thrill of watching your team at the Alamodome, win or lose, for years to come.

Or maybe you’re the person at the bar who doesn’t know a pick from a screen but wants in on the excitement and shouts, “Go, blue team!” when the spirit moves you.

Either way, you’ll have the same conundrum during the NCAA Men’s Final Four – deciding where to eat, drink, dance, and celebrate between the games on Saturday, March 31, and Monday night’s national championship match-up.

To plan for your big basketball weekend, here’s our rundown of some of your best options.

Final Four Fanfare Offsite events, watch parties & more March Madness Music Festival Fri 3/30-Sun 4/1 Heavy hitting pop-rockers Maroon 5 and Imagine Dragon will headline respective concerts during the March Madness Music Festival. The three-day fest kicks off Friday, March 30, and runs through Sunday, April 1, which is Easter this year, at Hemisfair Park. On Friday, country artist Jason Aldean, who’s got a touch of R&B in his 16

swagger, headlines with a pop country’s Kelsea Ballerini. Blowing up with their hit “Radioactive” back in 2012, Imagine Dragons is rocking the Coca-Cola Music bill on Saturday along with “Despacito” genius Luis Fonsi. On Sunday, 2000s pop icons Maroon 5 are slated to head the Capital One Jamfest bill with “Apologize” singers OneRepublic, pop punkers Panic!

At The Disco, and Daya a pop singer who’s been garnering attention since her 2015 hit “Hide Away.” Free, Fri 4-10pm, Sat 2-10pm, Sun 3-10pm, Hemisfair Park, 434 S Alamo St, (210) 709-4750.

a Reese’s College All-Star Game. Free, 10am-5:30pm, Alamodome, 100 Montana St., (210) 207-3663, ncaa.com.

Reese’s Final Four Friday Fri 3/30 For those who didn’t feel the need to snap up Final Four tickets, which brokers were selling for anywhere between $125 to $67,350 last time we checked, this event presented by chocolate giant Reese’s will give fans a free preview of Saturday’s semifinals. After open practice rounds from each of the Final Four teams, “special programming and tributes” and an autograph session, the day wraps up with

Final Four Fan Fest Fri 3/30 - Mon 4/2 Billed as “a sports wonderland of interactive games, special celebrity and athlete appearances, autograph signings, and much more,” this Capital Onesponsored extravaganza takes over the Henry B. González Convention Center with a full weekend of activities. Free for kids under 12 and military with valid ID, the four-day fest combines cheer clinics, photo ops with the championship trophy, perks

CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

Tip Off at the St. Anthony Fri 3/30 Encouraging revelers to keep the party going after the first night of the March Madness Music Festival, this open-air party on the Sky Terrace of the historic St. Anthony Hotel combines cocktails, music and stellar views of the San Antonio skyline. $10, 9pm-1am, St. Anthony Hotel, Sky Terrace, 300 E. Travis St., (210) 227-4392, thestanthonyhotel.com.

for Capital One cardholders, an interactive “Home Run Derby” for baseball fans and a rock-climbing wall promising a “bird’seye view of the entire event.” $5-$10, 11am-7pm Fri, 10am-7pm Sat, 11am-6pm Sun-Mon, Henry B. González Convention Center, 900 E. Market St., (210) 2078500, ncaa.com.

March Madness Watch Party Sat 3/31 Alamo Heights watering-hole the Hangar welcomes basketball fans for a National Semifinals watch party with food for purchase and drink specials ranging from $1 mimosas to $4 Ballast Point cans. Free, noon-11:45pm, The Hangar, 8203 Broadway, (210) 824-2700, thehangarsa.com.

Final Four River Rally Sat 3/31 The Final Four’s only “floating pep rally,” this free event sets bands and cheer squads repping Final Four teams adrift on the San Antonio River to get fans amped up for the National Semifinals. Free, 11am, Rivercenter Mall Lagoon, 849 E. Commerce St., (210) 207-3078, ncaa.com.

You are a provincial girl near the age of marriage.

Tinder has not been invented.

Your privileged criollo parents commission a portrait showing you bedecked in imported silks, expensive jewelry, and watches set to the time in Spain and New Spain. A fully opened flower on your breast signifies your coming of age. Your parents’ family crests and an inscription proclaim your age, legitimacy, and lineage.

The portrait will be displayed in your home in view of guests with whom your parents might wish to ally you in marriage.

You are María Manuela Esquivel y Serruto.

Explore the DNA of San Antonio culture.

Explore the language of portraiture.

200 West Jones Avenue | San Antonio, Texas 78215 | samuseum.org

This exhibition is presented in collaboration with Mexico’s Instituto Nacional de Antropología e Historia (INAH).

The exhibition is generously funded by Bexar County, William and Salomé Scanlan Foundation, Patsy Steves, the Robert J. Kleberg, Jr. and Helen C. Kleberg Foundation, NuStar Energy, The Greehey Family Foundation, and Myfe White Moore. This exhibition is supported by the City of San Antonio’s Department of Arts & Culture. Support for the San Antonio 1718 catalogue was provided by the Russell Hill Rogers Fund for the Arts.

CAPTION: Ignacio María Barreda (New Spain, late 18th century), María Manuela Esquivel y Serruto (detail), 1794, Oil on canvas, h. 29 in. (81 cm); w. 37 in. (61 cm), Museo Nacional de Historia, 10-233550, Secretaría de Cultura, INAH, MX. Mexico City. Photography by Francisco Kochen.

sacurrent.com • March 28-April 3, 2018 • CURRENT 17

Saturday, may 26 hemisfair Park | 1-8 pm

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African American Art Spring 2018 Something to Say The McNay Presents 100 Years of African American Art

FEBRUARY 8 | MAY 6, 2018

30 Americans

Rubell Family Collection FEBRUARY 8 | MAY 6, 2018 Lead funding for Something to Say: The McNay Presents 100 Years of African American Art and 30 Americans: Rubell Family Collection is most generously provided by Jane Stieren Lacy; The Brown Foundation, Inc.; USAA, Guillermo Nicolas and Jim Foster; Metropolitan Methodist Hospital; Capital Group Companies Charitable Foundation; and San Antonio (TX) Chapter of The Links, Incorporated.

Haiti’s Revolution in Art

Jacob Lawrence’s Toussaint L’Ouverture Series FEBRUARY 8 | MAY 6, 2018

4 Texans

The Next Chapter MARCH 1 | MAY 6, 2018 Lead funding for Haiti’s Revolution: Jacon Lawrence’s Toussaint L’Ouverture Series and 4 Texans: The Next Chapter is most generously provided by the Elizabeth Huth Coates Exhibition Endowment and the Arthur and Jane Stieren Fund for Exhibitions.

Bob Thompson, Untitled (detail), 1960-61.Oil on canvas. The Harmon and Harriet Kelley Foundation for the Arts © Estate of Bob Thompson; Courtesy of Michael Rosenfeld Gallery LLC, New York, NY.

mcnayart.org 18

CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

NEWS

Final Four Watch Party Sat 3/31 + Mon 4/2 Dueling piano-bar Howl at the Moon is prepped to welcome up to 600 college hoops fans to watch the Final Four games on a monster-sized, 150-inch screen. Also, a cover band amenable to requests and specialty drinks created in honor of each team. Pro-tip: Take advantage of downtown haunt’s “bring your own food” policy and pick up some takeout to soak up the suds. Free, 11am-2am Sat, 2pm-2am Mon, Howl at the Moon, 111 W. Crockett St., Suite 201, (210) 212-4770, howlatthemoon.com/san-antonio.

Final Four Dribble Sun 4/1 Open to ages 18 and under, this bouncy, March Madness parade expects to draw thousands of young fans as they dribble their way through the heart of the Alamo City. While limited onsite registration will be available the afternoon of the event, advance registration (ncaa.com/final-four/ final-four-dribble) puts attendees one step closer to scoring an NCAA Dribble T-shirt, a basketball provided by Wilson and free entry to the Final Four Fan Fest. Free, 3pm, Institute of Texan Cultures, 801 E. César E. Chávez Blvd., (210) 458-2300, ncaa.com.

NABC Guardians of the Game Awards Show Sun 4/1 An annual gathering timed with the NCAA Men’s Final Four, the NABC Convention is hailed as “the nation’s premier professional development and networking event for basketball coaches.” Open to nonconventioneers, Sunday’s NABC Guardians of the Game Awards Show is anchored by the presentation of awards (from Freshman of the Year to Big Man of the Year along with awards for advocacy, education and leadership) but also includes an onstage interview between both head coaches of the NCAA National Championship Game. $80, 6:30pm, Lila Cockrell Theatre, 900 E. Market St., (210) 207-8500, nabc.com.

Where to Eat and Drink Between Games Breakfast Estate Coffee Company Estate Coffee Company is a must-visit for their house-roasted coffee, baked goods from Scratch Kitchen, and airy space. 1320 E. Houston St., (210) 667-4347.

Dignowity Kolaches You have a tiny window to enjoy these fresh kolaches made by chef Lupita Rivero and sister Silvia Alcaraz. The sisters feature scratch-made savory and sweet kolaches and other baked goods. The barbacoa is a must. 1629 E. Houston St., (210) 320-1055.

CARLOS AGUILAR

Panchos & Gringos Perhaps the only non-awesome thing about this eatery is that they’re only open for breakfast and lunch. Opened 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. daily, Panchos & Gringos is the casual diner you always dreamed of that combines awesome breakfast sandwiches (they’re stuffed with house potatoes) with Mexican breakfast (jumbo breakfast tacos!) and it’s cheap. Get there ASAP. insanely 900 Nolan St., (210) 227-6700.

CommonWealth Coffehouse & Bakery With two locations downtown (at Yanaguana and inside the Weston Centre), CommonWealth should be on your list for espresso drinks and homemade pastries.

Multiple locations, commonwealthcoffeehouse. com

but have you tried their ribs for dinner? If not, you’re missing out on delicious St. Louis ribs, loaded Dignowity Pie with brisket burnt ends or pulled pork with mac over fries with sliced jalapeños or the Granny Apple slaw.

Don’t forget the cold brews available from their 15-tap draft system. 1701 E. Houston St., (210) 462-1496.

Sip Cuvee Coffee, tasty sandwiches, fresh salads and juices by chef Andrew Weissman located squarely in front of a Starbucks and holding its own for the past several years. 160 E. Houston St.

Lunch

Tucker’s Kozy Korner Know what goes well with soul? Soul food, obviously. You can get a bit of both at Tucker’s where the new lunch menu is brought to you by chef Jeff White (formerly with Boiler House) and features items such as a pulled pork sandwich “stuffed with cheddar and provolone cheeses studded with kernels of Mexican street corn, all bracketed between slabs of hefty Texas toast.” 1338 E. Houston St., (210) 320-2192.

Mark’s Outing Sometimes you just need a burger, and thankfully this East Side staple still packs in the crowds with its free beans and freshmade burgers. Stick with the basics, but we won’t blame you for wanting to try the ice cream burger. 1624 E. Commerce St., (210) 299-8110.

Sweet Yams Want to have all of the warm fuzzy feelings that comfort food is wont to provide without the guilt? You can enjoy just that at Sweet Yams, which is known for its low-fat, vegetarian and gluten-free options. End your meal with a teensy sweet potato pie.

You deserve it. 218 N. Cherry St., (210) 229-9267.

Burleson Yard Beer Garden It’s hard to find fault in this massive patio bar that occasionally hosts great jam bands, food trucks, and laid-back viewing parties of both classic movies and Spurs games when they’re in season. Make use of the parking lot on the side of the building and make sure to take your puppy pals. 430 Austin St., 210-354-3001.

Pinch Boil House & Bia Bar Make your way over to Pinch for VietCajun flavors, seafood boils and a noodle bar on Friday and Saturday. 124 N. Main Ave., (210) 971-7774.

Drinks

La Panaderia Loaded sandwiches made on housebaked croissant, telera and birote are what’s in store at this Mexican eatery that adds French patisserie desserts and pan dulce, obvio. 301 E. Houston St., (210) 592-6264.

Dinner & Drinks Bexar Pub Opened by the same guys behind the now-closed Folc, Bexar Pub should be on your list for chill patio pounders and legitimately great bar food such as fried chicken, and the best burger in Texas as declared by Texas Monthly in 2016. 114 Brooklyn Ave., (210) 236-7828).

Big Hops The Bridge There’s beer options aplenty at Big Hop’s third location, just off the Hays Street Bridge. Choose from the everrotating list of IPAs, sours, porters and more at great prices. There's also Frankenbike events and beer and cheese pairings. 306 Austin St., 210-320-1470.

Lowcountry This house-turned-bar draws you in with its Southern charm, but makes you stay for the cocktail list of patio sippers. Unwind from all the madness here. 318 Martinez St., (210) 590-2224.

Rosella at the Rand The dinner menu is solid, but if you’re celebrating a W or bemoaning an L, you’ll Dignowity Meats want to pop into this stylish and casual Yes, Dignowity Meats is great for lunch cocktail bar. 114 E. Houston St., (210) with its awesome sandwiches and whatnots, 595-1410.

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CALENDAR

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CALENDAR

Earlier this month, Carmelo THU Anthony notched 25,280 NBA points to surpass longtime Pacers OUR TOP PICKS FOR THE WEEK sharpshooter Reggie Miller and claim the 19th spot on the league’s all-time scoring list. LeBron James and Dirk Nowitzki are the only active players who rank higher than Carmelo on the list and, unlike Anthony, have championship hardware to validate their stats. After stops in Denver and New York, Carmelo is now the third option in Oklahoma City where Coach Billy Donovan has successfully campaigned to curb Anthony’s notorious ballstopping tendencies. Awaiting the Thunder in San Antonio is a scrappy Spurs team that continues to adapt the rugged tendencies of its own resident Latino icon, Manu Ginobili, in a crowded Western Conference playoff scrum. Although first-round playoff exits outnumber NBA titles for the Spurs 3-1 in the past 10 years, hope springs eternal in San Anto. A Thursday night showdown with the Thunder could be pivotal in determining the Spurs’ post-season fortunes. $37-$790, 7pm, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center Pkwy., (210) 444-5000, attcenter.com. — M. Solis

Kennedy Davenport

DECEMBER 1, 2018 ON SALE FRIDAY!

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CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

Spurs vs. Thunder SPORTS

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‘Common Currents’ This week ushers in the sixth and final chapter of “Common Currents,” a Tricentennial exhibition series exploring 300 years of San Antonio history THU through the eyes of artists. Employing an unpredictable, artist-driven format, the sprawling project allowed six venues (Artpace, Blue Star Contemporary, Southwest School of Art, Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center, Carver Community Cultural Center and the Mexican Cultural Institute) to each enlist two artists. That initial group of 12 followed suit, with each artist inviting two peers — and so on until a total of 300 were on board. Potentially the most relatable chapter of the lot, the Mexican Cultural Institute’s offering spans from 1968 to 2017, a half century that saw everything from the opening of HemisFair to the arrival of the World’s Largest Cowboy Boots.

As with each of its predecessors, this final piece of the puzzle unites celebrated local artists with emerging talents still flying below the radar. Electronic music duo Calico Club (1969), revered sculptor Margarita Cabrera (1972), multimedia wildcard Christie Blizard (1991), retro pop artist Louie Chavez (2000), porcelain provocateur Wesley Harvey (2015) and slam poetry master Jason Gossard (2016) are among the 50 bringing the series to a close in the present day. Free, opening reception 6-8pm, on view 9am-6pm Tue-Fri, 10am-4pm Sat through May 6, Mexican Cultural Institute, 600 Hemisfair Plaza Way, (210) 227-0123, facebook.com/mexculturesa. — BR ART

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ROCIO SAENZ

Before she truly arrived in the seventh season of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Texan performer Kennedy Davenport had already made a name for herself, competing on America’s Got Talent in 2013 and winning numerous titles on the drag pageant circuit (Miss Gay Black USofA, Miss Queen of Illusions and Miss Female Impersonator of the Year among them). Davenport, who took her stage surname from Divine’s character (Dawn Davenport) in the raunchy John Waters classic Female Trouble,, also served three years in the Navy. “It made me a selfmotivator… it taught me how to talk to people. WED I did a lot of healing in the Navy,” Davenport told the YouTube series Hey Qween in 2016.

An energetic dancer known for impossibly high kicks, jump-splits, cartwheels and highspeed ponytail spins, the self-proclaimed “Dancing Diva of Texas” came in fourth on season seven but won over scores of fans with forays into acting, songwriting and improv, not to mention a memorable impersonation of pioneering peacock Little Richard.

Returning triumphantly to the small screen this year on the third season of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Davenport set out to show audiences a new-and-improved version of herself. Energized with a sharper focus, head-turning costumes and the asset of competing and collaborating with queens she’d worked with back in 2015, Davenport ultimately came in second behind Barbie-inspired drag star Trixie Mattel. Hot on the heels of the release of her debut single “Moving Up,” Davenport arrives in San Antonio for two performances with local support from hostess Tencha la Jefa and Rey Lopez Entertainment Showgirls Jessica Marxx, Sephwhora 51, Kooder Parker, Chyna Cravens, Alayna Marquez, Amerie Parker and Nilaya Milan Mathews. $10-$25, 10:30pm & midnight, Heat Nightclub, 1500 N. Main Ave., (210) 227-2600, reylopezentertainment.com.

— Bryan Rindfuss DRAG

SALA DIAZ

Sala Diaz Debate Team THU

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With Fiesta season rapidly approaching, it’s time for San Antonians to get serious about their partying, building that crucial tolerance and ratcheting up that festive glow for the glorious season of celebration. Never to be outdone in terms of pre-gaming, the organizers of Fiesta Cornyation, which has been living up to its reputation as the bawdiest, zaniest and most irreverent Fiesta event since way back in 1951, invite you to kick off Fiesta season in righteous fashion with them as they crown their commander in crassness for the year King Anchovy LIII Charlie Biedenharn. While you have to wait until the end of April for the uproarious Dionysian spectacle of Cornyation proper, the King’s Coming Out! party is sure to whet your appetite. This special event will feature live music, performances, food (from Bakery Lorraine among others) and THU booze aplenty. Proceeds from the swinging soiree benefit Fiesta Cornyation and its charities, which consistently include worthy organizations like San Antonio AIDS Foundation (SAAF), Black Effort Against the Threat of AIDS (BEAT AIDS), and Help, Action, Care (HAC). $25 suggested donation, 5:30pm-8:30pm, 7 Willow Way, squareup.com/store/fiestacornyation. — James Courtney SPECIAL EVENT

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The King’s Coming Out!

CAMMIE Awards

The 2018 edition of Contemporary Art Month has seen pop-ups (Jeffrey Dell’s “Future Castles” in St. Paul’s Square), crafty concepts (“Thread” at Clamp Light) and memorable collaborations (the Canary Islands crossover CAM Perennial). If you’ve been keeping up with it all, it’s time to weigh in on the CAMMIE Awards (online voting ends at sunrise on Thursday). Created to recognize “excellence and diversity throughout the city’s rich landscape,” the awards have morphed in recent years, with quirky categories such as the “I Am Not Spock Award for Doing the Unexpected” disappearing and cultural institutions (the McNay, SAMA, Artpace and the Carver, to name a few) coming on board to judge less-specific aspects of the citywide celebration. Doubling as CAM’s official closing party, this year’s event rewards 10 of the month’s standouts, including the Best of CAM People’s Choice, with unique trophies designed by Make San Antonio. Hosted in the serene confines of CHRISpark, the evening includes complimentary food and drinks, music by DJ Novasoul, a raffle for a case of Prosecco and a cake designed by artist Chris Sauter (pictured), and a presentation of the Spare Parts Mini Art Museum’s “Shrinking Island,” an exhibition of wee works created by artists Ana Lucia Carbajal, Benjamin Powell, Claudia Salinas and Sarah Sheafe. Free, 6-8pm, CHRISpark, 111 Camp St., (210) 630-0235, contemporaryartmonth.com. — BR

CONTEMPORARY ART MONTH

SPECIAL EVENT

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FIESTA CORNYATION

Local filmmaker and physics teacher Jason Treviño has never participated in an official high school-style debate before, so he’s hoping his first experience will be kind to him. He is one of six captains leading a team in a debate tournament Sala Diaz is calling “an exercise in absurdity.” Sala Diaz director Anjali Gupta said the event is an extension of artist Nicholas Frank and John Riepenhoff’s current exhibition, which features audio pieces inside beer cans that are debating various topics — “some humorous, some contentious and some ridiculous.” Treviño is torn between wanting a topic he already feels passionate about and challenging himself to defend something he normally would not. “Art and science would be my comfort zones,” he said. “Now, if I had to take a pro-gun stance, I’d imagine I’d really have to be acting a part.” Other debate team captains are business owner Grace Rose Gonzales, attorney Ricardo Briones, Glasstire editor Christina Rees, writer Neil Fauerso and artist Katie Pell. Let’s cross our fingers that the debate doesn’t play out like Alicia Silverstone’s in Clueless. “May I please remind you that it does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty.”

Debaters, be sure to spit out your gum before you argue your point. Free, 7-9pm, Sala Diaz, 517 Stieren St, (972) 900-0047, saladiazart.org. — Kiko Martinez SPECIAL EVENT

CALENDAR

SAC FIESTA BRUNCH “CHILAQUILES CON CHEECH” A fundraiser benefitting the students of San Antonio College

Sponsorships and Individual Tickets Available!

alamo.edu/sac/FiestaBrunch

210-486-0960

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

10 a.m. to Noon Pearl Stable, 307 Pearl Pkwy, San Antonio, TX 78215 22

CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

SAN ANTONIO MUSEUM OF ART

The Multicultural Conference presents …

CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

Cycling the First Century of San Antonio In a recent lecture titled “On the Edge of the Empire,” St. Mary’s University history professor Gerald Poyo asked, “How did a community that began with 72 people, 548 horses, six droves of mules, and a herd of livestock survive to become the San Antonio we know today?” Offering something of a visual response to that and other questions, the San Antonio Museum of Art’s Tricentennial exhibition “San Antonio 1718: Art from Viceregal Mexico” brings together more than 100 paintings, sculptures and decorative objects that reveal “the lives and times of San Antonio’s earliest inhabitants.” Nodding to our Spanish Colonial missions and the odd sensation many get while visiting them (“wondering who once lived there, what they saw, valued, and thought”), the collection of works puts faces on the Spanish viceroys, Franciscan missionaries, military leaders and ordinary folks who helped shape San Antonio. This weekend, the exhibition serves as inspiration for Cycling the First Century of San Antonio, which incudes a brief gallery talk followed by an organized bike tour from SAMA to the Alamo, Mission Concepción and San Fernando Cathedral. Led by a certified guide from Cycling San Antonio, the roughly 12-mile ride is open to all levels and includes light snacks and frequent stops. Those without bikes can rent one from the B-Cycle station in the museum’s parking lot. $15-$25 (advance registration required), 10am-2pm, San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave., (210) 9788100, samuseum.org. — BR SPECIAL EVENT

SAT SAN ANTONIO MUSEUM OF ART

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Mega Corazón

R T ES Y O F BIL L B URR

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COU

SARAH BROOKE LYONS

Bill Burr

With National Poetry Month upon us, you’ll no SAT doubt find yourself with a full slate of poetry events and literary happenings with which to usher in COMEDY From Chapelle’s Show to Breaking Bad, Bill Burr has played a supporting part in some of the 21st century’s greatest TV series, but your spring on a contemplative note. One of the most his own show, F Is for Family, only really makes sense streaming on Netflix. special and talent-stacked of these events, presented Loud, obscene, frequently blacker than pitch and too real to completely hide

by URBAN-15 with support from the Texas Commission behind a “just kidding,” the show perfectly embodies Burr’s comedy act and on the Arts, is the fifth annual Mega Corazón. The would therefore probably scare the bejeezus out of any traditional TV executive eight-hour poetry extravaganza will feature a large and worried about what people, pretty much any people anywhere, are going to think, diverse group of poets, beginning with three hours of feel or Tweet. Burr — whose highly influential stand-up specials include the likes of youth-focused poetry and poetry from young people.

Walk Your Way Out, I’m Sorry You Feel That Way and You People Are All the Same While the full schedule of readers for this marathon — knows exactly what he’s doing, even as he repeatedly undercuts his argumentative rants celebration of poetic expression is not yet available, by reiterating that he has no idea what he’s talking about. Too self-deprecating to seem smug, notable poets confirmed to read Burr has the gift possessed by far too few “offensive” comics since his friend Patrice O’Neal passed: the ability to make include Dr. Carmen Tafolla you laugh your ass off while you disagree with every single word he says. $43.25, 7pm & 10pm Sat., Majestic Theatre, (former San Antonio and 224 E. Houston, (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — Jeremy Martin Texas Poet Laureate), Octavio Quintanilla (newly announced San Antonio Poet Laureate), TUE Jim LaVilla-Havelin, Bryce Milligan, Andrea “Vocab” Sanderson, John Treviño and Jessica Tilton-Zertuche. The poets Philip Santos, Natalia Trevi MON Corazón comprise a diverse cross-section of poetic of Mega Coraz modes, performance styles, influences and generations.

Arguably the best thing about Mega Corazón Coraz is that, in the true spirit of poetry’s transcendent call, the entire thing is available to everyone. Those unable to attend the physical event can stream it at urban15.org/live-stream. Free, 1-9pm, URBAN-15 Studio, 2500 S. Presa St., (210) 7361500, urban15.org/live-stream. — JC WORDS

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PuroSlam Finals

Just in time for National Poetry Month, PuroSlam, San Antonio’s robust slam poetry chapter, is hosting an important and exciting qualifying competition. Competing poets have accrued points in grueling word/wit duels throughout the slam season (up through Tuesday, March 27) and now the top 10 point-earners (which, as of this writing, was still an evolving list) will battle for one of five spots on the team that will rep San Anto at the National Poetry Slam in Chicago at summer’s end. The winning poets who ultimately comprise our competition team for this year will have some big shoes to fill, as they will look to follow up on last year’s solid nationals’ showing that included a third place finish in Group Piece Finals. Suffice it to say: this is gonna be intense. If you only attend one PuroSlam event this year, it should be this one. $1, 9:30pm-12:30am, The Mix, 2423 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 735-1313, themix-sa.com. — JC WORDS

CASEY HOWELL

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CALENDAR

ART Closing reception: “Thread” Guest-

curated by Alana Coates, the group show “Thread” is “centered on artists using needle and thread in contemporary techniques, narratives and conceptual practices.” Featuring work from Bianca Alvarez, Linda Arredondo, Sara Barnes, Sarah Castillo, Martha Elena Flores, Sarah Fox, Abby Hinojosa, Sol Kesseler, Justin Korver, Michael Martinez, Nicole Tovar and Jose Villalobos, “Thread” culminates on Saturday with a closing reception and embroidery workshop. Free, 6-8pm Saturday; Clamp Light Artist Studios and Gallery, 1704 Blanco Road, (401) 580-6852.

CAM Perennial An annual program that’s

successfully built bridges between San Antonio artists and curators from Dallas, Houston, Mexico City, New Orleans and Miami, the CAM Perennial partners with Artpace this year to welcome Spain into the fold with a group exhibition curated by Canary Islands-based Adonay Bermúdez. A socially minded curator who often addresses the “democratization of art,” Bermúdez paired Canary Islands artists Luna Bengoechea, Francis Naranjo and PSJM (aka Cynthia Viera and Pablo San José) with San Antonio-based Hayfer Brea, Barbara Miñarro and Ethel Shipton.

Free, noon-5pm Wednesday-Sunday; Artpace, 445 N. Main Ave., (210) 212-4900.

”Vignettes from San Antonio” When it

comes to celebrating and commenting on San Antonio’s present and recent past, artist and printmaker Michael Menchaca is one of our sharpest, most nuanced artistic minds. In this exhibition, Menchaca, who often juxtaposes images from pop culture with traditional Mesoamerican iconography, offers up large- and small-scale works that speak to San Antonio’s cultural landscape and reference such recognizable landmarks as San Antonio College and Brackenridge Park. Free, 11am-4pm WednesdaySaturday, 11am-4pm Tuesday; Ruiz-Healy Art, 201-A E. Olmos Drive, (210) 804-2219.

THEATER If/Then Since its Broadway premiere in

2014, the Tony-nominated musical If/ Then has received mixed reviews and reminded many theater-goers of the 1998 film Sliding Doors. Penned by the Pulitzer-winning team of Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey (Next to Normal), the nontraditional play follows Elizabeth Vaughn, a recently divorced, 38-yearold urban design professor who returns home to New York City in search of a new life. Instead she finds two lives: one

as Liz, who starts a family with an Army doctor; and one as Beth, who lands a high-powered job as an urban planner. $20-$35, 7:30pm Friday-Saturday, 2pm Sunday; The Public Theater of San Antonio, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258.

SPECIAL EVENTS Baskets & Blankets A picnic for a cause,

this third annual benefit invites guests to pre-order a picnic basket from participating eateries (details at evasheroes.org) and enjoy it al fresco at Pearl. Benefiting Eva’s Heroes, the event includes live music

by Chacho & Brance, David Lee and Doc Watkins, plus $10 photo ops with the Easter Bunny. Free admission (baskets $20-$150), 5-8pm Saturday; Pearl Park, 303 Pearl Pkwy, (210) 694-9090.

Big Texas Fun The second weekend of

Retama’s family-friendly festival features carnival rides, games, a petting zoo, pig races, pony and camel rides, face painting, photo ops with the Easter Bunny, a Peepseating contest, an egg hunt and live music by Jack Ingram (8pm Friday), Casey Donahew (8pm Saturday) and Raulito Navaira (7:30pm Sunday). $6-$8, 4-11pm Wednesday-Friday, noon-11pm SaturdaySunday; Retama Park, One Retama Pkwy., Selma, (210) 651-7000.

AT&T CENTER | APRIL 6 TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

Lafitte’s Reserve Beer Release & Masquerade Piano Party Inspired by

Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop in New Orleans, Busted Sandal celebrates the release of its new dark ale by transforming the brewery into a lights-out venue with candles and a piano player. Admission includes three beers and two drink tickets per person, cured meats and specialty cheeses.

Costumes (pirates, masquerade masks, etc.) are encouraged. $30 in advance from eventbrite.com, 7-11:30pm (seatings at 7pm & 9pm) Saturday; Busted Sandal Brewing Company, 7114 Oaklawn Drive, (210) 872-1486.

Zaachila Artisan Pop-Up Feliz Modern

welcomes Zaachila Artisan for a pop-up showcasing shoes and accessories made from natural and recycled products. Free, 10am-2pm Saturday; Feliz Modern, 110 W. Olmos Drive, (210) 622-8364.

LGBT True Colors: I’m Coming Out Sexology

Institute hosts a discussion about the risks, benefits, issues and concerns of coming out. In addition to tips on how to support someone who’s come out to you, the event encourages attendees to share coming-out stories in a safe, judgementfree environment. Free, 7pm Tuesday; Sexology Institute and Boutique, 707 S. St. Mary’s St., (210) 487-0371. sacurrent.com • March 28-April 3, 2018 • CURRENT 25

SEL ECTIONS FR O M T H E UTSA A R T C OLLE C TION CURATED BY ARTURO INFANTE ALMEIDA

PA N E L

DI SCUSSI ON

APRIL 5, 2018 • 6:00 – 8:00 P.M.

Discussion moderated by Dr. Ellen Riojas Clark, with

EXHIBITION ON VIEW THROUGH JUNE 10, 2018

panelists Arturo Infante Almeida, John Phillip Santos,

Centro de Artes Gallery • 101 S. Santa Rosa

and six of the artists featured in the exhibition.

FREE AND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

26 CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

ARTS + CULTURE

Challenging Misconceptions

Guadalupe exhibition offers critical view of Alamo mythology Ángel Rodríguez-Díaz, Antifaz: Forget The Alamo. Yellow Rose.

MARCO AQUINO

≥

As San Antonio gears up for Fiesta, an 11-day celebration originally created to honor the “heroes” of the battles of the Alamo and San Jacinto, the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center is presenting an exhibition offering critical views of Alamo mythology. Guest curated by Ruben Cordova, “The Other Side of the Alamo: Art Against the Myth” gathers 26 local Chicano and Chicana artists and includes more than 40 works of art aimed at dispelling popular misconceptions about the Alamo and its defenders.

As the most pervasive retelling of the Battle of the Alamo goes, a narrative embellished throughout the 20th century in books, songs and films, the defenders of the Alamo were all killed within its walls when they were outnumbered by an invading Mexican army. The Texians were redeemed, however, when Sam Houston and his army defeated Mexican President Santa Anna at the Battle of San Jacinto and won Texas Independence.

Decades later, the Alamo was restored as a “shrine” for “Texas liberty,” and the rallying cry of “Remember the Alamo” etched into public consciousness. Today, as we move

into the 21st century and Latinos become the largest minority group in the U.S., this sanitized version of history, one that privileges Anglos over Mexican Americans and African Americans, no longer holds up to public scrutiny.

After Texas was annexed by the United States in 1845, it became part of an American cotton industry built on slave labor.

In many parts of the state, Anglos began seizing land owned by Tejanos on charges of “horse thievery” or aiding slave insurrections.

African-American freedmen who lived here before Texas independence were forced to leave the state. Much like Southerners who developed a “lost cause” mythology to compensate for their defeat, white Texans developed an Alamo mythology that portrayed the fighters at the Alamo, (Travis, Crockett and Bowie), not as defenders of slavery but defenders of “Texas liberty.”

The artists in “The Other Side of the Alamo” explore the often controversial topics left out of popular Alamo mythology, among them the role slavery played in the Texian revolt and the role Manifest Destiny played in the dismemberment of Mexico.

Among the highlights in this exhibition is Kristel A. Orta-Puente’s digital print series, Heroes of Texas Slavery, depicting defenders of the Alamo in a style akin to trading cards. In each piece, “heroes” such as James Bowie and Stephen F. Austin are juxtaposed against text reading “Illegal Slave Smuggler” or “Empresario of Slavery.”

By highlighting an often overlooked aspect of Texas history, Orta-Puente suggests many of its “heroes” are far from heroic.

In Antifaz: Forget The Alamo. Yellow Rose, Ángel Rodríguez-Díaz depicts himself as his alter-ego: a Mexican wrestler known as Antifaz. Here, Antifaz is depicted twisting his body away from a figure handing him a Christmas ornament shaped as the Alamo.

Seemingly repulsed, or perhaps frightened by the image of the Alamo, Antifaz negates the popular rallying cry of “Remember the Alamo.” As the lone Puerto Rican artist in this exhibition, Rodríguez-Díaz understands the annexation of Texas as an example of U.S. imperialism. Included in last year’s career-spanning RodríguezDíaz retrospective at Centro de Artes (also curated by Cordova), this painting stands

out as one of the most stunning images in “The Other Side of the Alamo.”

In the mixed-media work Music of Fiesta, Raul Servin depicts an upside-down Alamo amid a raucous downtown setting filled with folklórico dancers, mariachis, and party-goers. This work not only brings to mind the upside-down feeling of the city caused by crowds and traffic during Fiesta, but also seems to suggest the backwardness of using Mexican customs to celebrate Mexico’s defeat. While few party-goers at Fiesta may actually stop to contemplate the complex histories behind the Battle of the Alamo, “The Other Side of the Alamo” offers an alternative to the triumphalist tales surrounding the 18thcentury Spanish mission.

‘The Other Side of the Alamo: Art Against the Myth’ Free, 9am-5pm Wed-Fri, 11am-5pm Sat, 9am-5pm Mon-Tue through July 20, Galería Guadalupe, 723 S. Brazos St., (210) 271-3151, guadalupeculturalarts.org.

sacurrent.com • March 28-April 3, 2018 • CURRENT 27

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SCREENS

Russian

Droll The Death of Stalin is a timely, pitch-black political satire

KIKO MARTÍNEZ

≥

It’s impossible to watch the British dark comedy The Death of Stalin and not think of the side-splitting scenarios a talented, Oscar-nominated screenwriter like Armando Iannucci (In the Loop) could piece together about the current U.S. Administration led by treasure trove of hilarity, President Donald Trump. Russian bots, secret Kremlin meetings, dossiers, loyalty pledges, porn star lawsuits — the thing practically writes itself.

Taking both ridiculous and serious situations and creating one big, absurd narrative is what Iannucci does best in The Death of Stalin. As the old adage goes, “truth is stranger than fiction,” especially in the hands of a satirist as sharp, witty and unapologetic as Iannucci is with Soviet history.

Set in Moscow in 1953, everyone is walking on eggshells around their unpredictable leader Joseph Stalin (Adrian McLoughlin), the Soviet dictator who was known for exiling, imprisoning, torturing and murdering individuals he felt were a threat to his regime. In one early scene, Soviet statesman Nikita Khrushchev (Steve Buscemi), who ultimately helped de-Stalinize the country after Stalin’s death, dictates dialogue he shared with the dictator at dinner as his wife makes note of the jokes that didn’t make Stalin laugh, so he would remember to avoid those topics later (and avoid the possibility of getting killed).

Stalin’s officials are wound so tight, when he suffers a stroke and dies soon after, they don’t know what their next move should be. Iannucci portrays most of the men as lost puppies, specifically Georgy

Malenkov (Jeffrey Tambor), who succeeds Stalin as leader and is reluctant to join his colleagues when they decide to overthrow their repulsive deputy premier Lavrenti Beria (Simon Russell Beale).

Playing out like a feature-length version of Comedy Central’s Drunk History, minus the slurred speech, The Death of Stalin is full of amusing, dry British humor and earns its laughs even during some of its most disturbing scenes. Iannucci doesn’t pussyfoot around the cruel politics on display, but he still manages to take subtle, effective jabs at every turn. Not all the one-liners and gags are knockouts, but some of Iannucci’s gut punches are significant stingers.

Although it would probably benefit audiences to go into a film like The Death of Stalin with some idea of who the major players were during this tumultuous time in the Soviet Union, the film isn’t one that relies heavily on references to push the story forward. Instead, Iannucci banks on his finely tuned actors to deliver the farcical dialogue he and his team of writers seem to have painstakingly perfected line by line.

Banned in Russia, The Death of Stalin is a timely satire for those moviegoers who are fine with taking the film at face value — as a silly ribbing of government corruption — and those who find comfort in comparing the nonsense on screen to America’s own political reality show. No matter which camp you belong to, you’ll appreciate how The Death of Stalin is able to balance its pitch-black power dynamics with smart, classic wordplay (“When I said, ‘No problem,’ I meant, ‘No! Problem!’”) and a cast of clowns who know their way around a circus.

Actor Jason Isaacs talks ban on Stalin, Trump’s insane behavior

>

In The Death of Stalin, actor Jason Isaacs (Harry Potter franchise) stars as Georgy Zhukov, a Soviet Union general who fell out of favor with Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin, but returned to prominence when Stalin died in 1953. Zhukov makes his entrance in the film at Stalin’s funeral and immediately begins to scheme with leaders to stage a coup and regain power. The Current caught up with Isaacs last week to talk about the film. Visit sacurrent.com for the complete interview.

Did you do any research on your character?

What I needed to know about [Zhukov] is that he felt like he had singlehandedly won World War II. That was apparent from the first photograph I saw of him, which was of this man puffing his chest out and wearing a lot of medals. When people saw the film, they assumed we put more medals on me [for comedy purposes], but the fact is I couldn’t wear as many medals as he wore in real life.

How did you react when you heard the Cultural Ministry in Russia banned the film?

It wasn’t the Russians that didn’t like it. It was one individual in the Cultural Ministry probably acting out of fear that [President Vladimir] Putin wouldn’t like it if he found out about it. Rather hilariously, their statement of condemnation said [the film] was an attempt to interfere in their upcoming election. It’s hard to believe in a modern world anyone would try to ban a film because they would make it the most popular underground film in Russia.

Could you see Armando Iannucci making a film like this about the Trump Administration?

Well, the question we get the most now is if [Iannucci] made this [fi lm] about President Trump. The answer is no. It’s timeless. It’s about any time there’s a situation where there’s irrational and terrifying behavior happening. It’s applicable to so many other situations and so many different countries and politicians of all stripes.

I know you live in London, but are you aware how much Americans are inundated with Trump news during our 24-hour news cycle?

I’m working in Los Angeles at the moment, so I’m well aware that you can live with Stormy Daniels 24 hours a day on every channel. I suspect people are bored because we get distracted from serious matters of policy and security. But all of that is overshadowed by the latest insane, middle-of-the-night dribble that comes out of [the White House]. Every day it seems more surreal and transparent that something really corrupt and dangerous is going on at the heart of American politics. sacurrent.com • March 28-April 3, 2018 • CURRENT 29

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CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

Burger Hermanos

FOOD

AMANDA SPENCER/S.A.FOODIE

Baller on a budget at Dos

≥

RON BECHTOL

If you want an example of how to be baller on a budget, look no further than Dos, a tiny but tight new burger joint that has its act together.

Launched by two brothers (hence, ahem … ), Israel and Raul Armando Cepeda, the space has all of about 20 seats (and a drive-through window). Unless one of them is a graphic designer, in addition to being budding burger barons, the two bros hired somebody to do a simple but effective logo, the colors and style of which carry through into the restrained décor and a nifty little takeaway menu.

But these are just the visuals. Los hermanos have also developed a short but well-curated menu of burgers (quatro), one chicken sandwich, one taco plate, and empanadas (dos sabores). None of this would be especially distinctive if it weren’t for one unique factor.

Common to Northern and Northwestern Mexico, discada finds itself in the tacos and on the most opulent of the burgers. A blend of meats that, traditionally at least, is

If Ipanema sauce sounds like an outlier, it’s because the bros have restaurant experience that includes Churrasco’s, the venerable pan-Latin restaurant in Houston. The same accounts for the inclusion of a brace of lightly enveloped Argentine empanadas — one beef, the other chicken, both worth your consideration. The Tejano burger, on the other hand, is almost puro San Anto.

The same beef, not quite as crusty/pink on a second visit but still commendable, shares lofty bun space with a smear of basic guac, a chunky pico de gallo with red bell pepper, a scattering of “thin-slice” tortilla chips and Monterey jack. It’s a commendable creation in which the tastes and textures all griddled on an agricultural implement, the chopped mix is pull together, and it’s especially impressive at a reasonable named for the disc that’s pulled in series behind a tractor $6.75. It’s also not unhappy when paired with an order of to till the soil. There being no signs of agricultural activity at tender, sweet potato fries — generous at $2.25.

Dos, we can assume that a more standard flattop is used to Which brings us to the little sandwich that could — the cook their custom, chopped and marinated blend of bacon, Pollo Rojo. It was about to be yanked for poor performance beef, pork, smoked sausage and chorizo. With that much when a friend suggested adding “non-spicy” to a menu flavor power, you might think that any beef patty would be description that includes the apparently scary achiote, a overwhelmed. But no. Maybe “always fresh meat” accounts powder/paste much used in Latin and coastal Mexican for part of it. cooking that offers assertive color and earthy flavor, but no Bracketed by a just-crusty-enough potato bun from heat. Shame on you, SA. But spice, as it happens, isn’t 4 Kings Bakery in Universal City, the Discada Burger’s really required in this sandwich that’s essentially the Tejano equally crusty beef patty maintains a pink interior and with succulent, grilled and really rojo chicken standing holds its own with the assertive topping; chopped lettuce, in for beef. We’re glad it survived to contribute to the a mantle of melty Monterey jack and a veil of creamy multiplication of Dos into dos. And maybe tres? I don’t know Ipanema sauce (mayo, cilantro and a hint of jalapeño) if los bros have chain on the brain, but I wouldn’t mind an round out the presentation. An accompanying order of outlet closer to me. Join the emerging crowd at Brooks City skinny fries didn’t rise to the same heights, but neither did Base, perhaps? it profane the package.

Dos thumbs up, regardless.

Dos 6511 Ingram Road, Suite #101, (210) 267-5143, dos-satx.com The Skinny A small but determined burger joint with a simple menu of unique burgers (one featuring “discada,” a grilled, mixed-meat tradition from Northern Mexico), chicken sandwich and empanadas. Best bets Discada burger, Tejano burger, Pollo Rojo sandwich, Empanadas Argentinas Hours 11am-8pm Mon-Fri; noon-8pm Sat Price $4.95-$7.85

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When Netflix

Lets You Down Ugly Delicious left me wanting more representation

≥

JESS ELIZARRARAS | @JESSELIZARRARAS

L IA T C N E E SPEV

Ryan O’Flanagan 3/28 - 3/31

Bert Kreischer 4/5 - 4/7

Mike Suarez & Friends 4/8

Dustin Ybarra 4/12 - 4/15

The trailer for David Chang’s new show left me salivating. Cut after cut of namesake Ugly Delicious dishes, followed by cuts of Chang positing how he could help further cultural conversations through food were enough to seal the deal: Ugly Delicious was a show I would watch with gusto and glee.

Or so I thought.

Ugly Delicious is eight episodes worth of impeccably shot food (even if it isn’t always the most Instagrammable), panel discussions by industry leaders and Chang’s friends, and conversations about what makes food the great connector.

In all fairness, the show does strike plenty of compelling chords. The “Pizza” episode asks great questions about what exactly authenticity means; the “Tacos” episode spend a great deal of air time on the history of corn (remember, sin maíz, no hay país); the “Home cooking” episode pays homage to moms and begs for a Mama Chang spin-off; the “Fried Chicken” episode teaches the viewer the horribly troublesome roots of one of the world’s favorite dishes that began as a mean for slaves to save up money to buy their own freedom; in “Fried Rice,” Chang and co. tackle the racial stereotypes associated with MSG, used by processed food manufacturers more so than Chinese restaurants.

At 50 to 60 minutes a pop, Ugly Delicious demands attention from the get-go. This isn’t the kind of show you listen to in the background as you clean, and it’s definitely not TV Zoloft in the form of The Great British Bake Off (where contestants are pleasant, judging is harsh but fair, and their accents lull you into a sense of safety and warmth that lets the viewer not think about Donald Trump, or how the plastic blob floating in the ocean is now twice the size of Texas). Sit down, pop open a can of whatever, or bottle of your finest Two Buck Chuck and take it in. Don’t forget the snacks.

But the problems are quick to arise during viewing. In “Pizza,” the 46-minute episode includes all of three women. In “Tacos,” he follows Rosio Sanchéz, the owner of Copenhagen’s Hija de Sanchez and first generation Mexican-American. Instead of focusing on Sanchez’s amazing story – she nixtamalizes her corn, and we never even learn where it comes from – the director pivots to Rene Redzepi, a longtime friend of Chang’s and owner of two-Michelin star restaurant Noma, where Sanchez cooked for five years, and his Mexico pop-up. In “Shrimp & Crawfish,” whilst chatting with Georgette Dang, owner of the New Orlean’s Cajun Corner, Chang tells the AsianAmerican owner that she’s not “from here,” but is quickly corrected and thankfully so.

“It makes me just as Cajun as anyone else here,” Dang says.

Then there’s the matter of Tex-Mex. If you’re going to tackle ugly delicious, what could possibly fit the bill more so than Tex-Mex, perhaps the ugliest, but most delicious food around, with a rich history that’s still gaining traction? I’m obviously biased.

No, the lack of women in the industry isn’t Chang’s fault, but given the platform, and that this isn’t his first rodeo, Ugly Delicious left me wanting so much more.

“We should be talking about stories that aren’t being told as well,” said Chang during an interview with Jimmy Kimmel, a guest on the “BBQ” episode.

Let’s hope a second season helps tell more of those stories.

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NIGHTLIFE

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ERIN WINCH

The Cookhouse nixes lunch for a New Orleans happy hour

ERIN WINCH

Name: The Cookhouse Background: The Cookhouse has been a staple of the St. Mary’s Strip since it opened in 2014. The owners behind the Nawlins restaurant are also responsible for the late Where Y’at food truck and St. Mary’s neighbor, NOLA Brunch & Beignets. The Cookhouse, which used to be open for lunch, rid themselves of the mid-day meal and decided to open up a bit earlier for happy hour.

while at the eatery enjoying dinner. Most groups, which mainly consist of families and older couples, are seated at tables while single diners sit at the bar.

as it was made to order, but the waiter was seldom to be found. Once the food finally arrived it became clear why the app is a popular option — it was delicious and paired excellently with the red wine. At less than a week old, the happy hour at The Cookhouse packs in great flavors and deals — and I’m definitely going back for that Sazerac — but maybe not when I’m in a rush.

Experience: I ventured to Cookhouse just after work on a Thursday, and the restaurant was empty for the most part — but the crowd was starting to pick up as dinner hours inched closer. While there were a couple of people and tables sat, there weren’t that many people 720 E. Mistletoe Ave., (210) 320-8211, inside. It took a while to be waited on, and when ordering, cookhouserestaurant.com.

Happy Hour: The happy hour at Cookhouse features some I found out one of the listed cocktails, the Sazerac, menu favorites like boudin balls for $10 and featured po’ wasn’t actually available yet. There were other options, a Hurricane, a $7 glass of red wine and $2 Abita beers. I boys for $9. For drinks, the Cookhouse has two cocktails it features for $6, with wine being $1 off and Abita beer for opted for the wine and ordered the Boudin Balls. It was a Erin Winch writes about boozin’ in the Alamo City hard decision as red beans and rice, gumbo and a variety $2. The time for discounts runs daily between 5 and 7 p.m. on her blog Drinking In SA. Follow her on Instagram of po’ boys were also happy hour options. The speed at @drinking.in.sa for more.

Patrons: Many of those attending the happy hour at the of service, from the waiter or the kitchen, didn’t improve Cookhouse seem to be attempting to snag a couple of deals much during my visit. The food took a while to come out,

sacurrent.com • March 28-April 3, 2018 • CURRENT 35

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CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

MEET COURTESY OF WARNER BROS. PICTURES

ADA VOX A fierce singing drag queen on American Idol repping San Antonio

CHRIS CONDE

≥

On the heels of the premiere of RuPaul's Drag Race Season 10, San Antonio’s own singing drag queen Ada Vox has landed as a contestant on ABC’s reboot of American Idol. But this isn’t exactly Vox’s first go-round with the show.

After wowing celebrity judges Nicki Minaj, Keith Urban, Mariah Carey and Randy Jackson, the queen (back then performing as themselves – Adam Sanders) advanced through the notoriously exhausting Hollywood week of rounds on Season 12 of the show in 2013. Sanders didn't make it into the top 40, but the South San High graduate and UTSA alum auditioned at the San Antonio tryouts in October, and on February 15 posted to their Instagram, “Could this queen be the next Idol??” – hinting that they might be on the revamped competition. And though Sanders didn't appear in the first few episodes of this new season, Sunday's installment featured the queen's audition, which rendered judge Katy Perry speechless. And before receiving her ticket to Hollywood, judge Lionel Richie told Ada Vox, “Can I say something to you? You are owning your talent.

You are owning who you are. We have had a lot of artists come on here – talented – but a bit confused. What you’re giving us right now is a clear understanding of who you are – coming with an amazing amount of talent.” We caught up with the singer to talk about their musical influences and transformation from Adam Sanders to Ada Vox. When did you first realize that you could sing, and when did you know that you wanted to be connected to music?

I’ve always kind of sung. I grew up around good music that my grandparents or my parents would play. But there was kind of a turning point when I had brain surgery at eight years old [a cyst had developed against Sanders’ brain stem]. When I was in the hospital, my mom would sing to me. And when she would sing to me, I had this sense of healing and a sense of happiness. That was the only time I would have relief from the pain that I was dealing with at

the time. It was all around the same time American Idol [first] aired as well. So it all worked out that American Idol became a part of my dream.

What other influences did you have growing up?

Who are some of the musicians you were drawn to?

I was drawn to emotion when it came to music. [My family] listened to a lot of Whitney Houston and Aretha Franklin, and old good music, and of course we’re in Texas – we listened to Selena so much we burnt out the tapes (laughs), ya know? So she was a big influence as well. Ya know, music that’s just driven by true artistry and emotion.

I saw your performance on YouTube doing Etta James. I was just like, ‘Man, you don’t expect that type of soul to come out of someone.’ What was your experience like auditioning?

Back in the day on season 12?

Yes. It was very interesting. I went in that year, thinking I was more ready than I ever was going to be. I went in so ready to do it. This was my dream. I was going to make it come true that year. And you know, obviously the audition itself went very well. I was received well. But at the end of it all, I made it through rounds and made it through rounds, but as an entertainer and as an artist and as a person – I just wasn’t ready.

What about yourself do you think wasn’t completely developed then?

Honestly, I was an OK singer then – I was. But I’m a hundred times better now than I ever was then. I’m vocally better, I’m a better performer, I’m a better entertainer, I’m more prepared as an adult now to take on the challenges that come with a competition like this. It’s not easy; it’s emotionally draining and it’s physically draining. It’s exhausting in every way that you can imagine.

That doesn’t seem like a fun time.

It’s work! (laughs) Ya know, they pay for everything – they feed us. You don’t have to worry about anything, but you know what? It’s because we’re here working. We are here working our asses off. Regardless of what people think, this is a job that we’re applying for and we are here to make a career out of what we do.

What made you decide to introduce that drag queen aspect into your performance?

Yea, ya know, it was interesting. I had never been around the gay scene very much, until after American Idol. I was invited to perform at San Antonio Pride through [fellow Idol contestant] Josh ‘Jada’ Davila. We had become friends. They were headlining the event, and invited me to open up for them. So, I went and threw myself into this pride event that I didn’t even know we had. I didn’t know that drag queens were real life and not mythical creatures …I watched the show, and I realized that none of these [queens] were singing and I thought, ‘You know what?

I can do that, too,’ but I can sing. So I thought it would maybe bring something different to the scene down here.

In developing that, and becoming Ada Vox, I realized that drag is not such a small thing. With the world evolving the way that it is, it’s becoming so widely accepted and so widely looked up to, and the people that do [drag] are the people that aren’t afraid of being themselves. And people look up to that and admire that in somebody. What I noticed was I started getting attention that I never would have received from people in the entertainment industry. I had management reaching out to me, I had record labels interested in having me do auditions, I had all these reality shows coming to me … I said maybe this is happening ‘cause it’s time for someone like me here … so I went ahead and stepped out this time as Ada and I said, ‘You know what? This is my time to make my mark. It’s my time to stand for something, and it’s my time to make my dreams come true.’ sacurrent.com • March 28-April 3, 2018 • CURRENT 37

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CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

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MP

MUSIC PICKS

BLACKGUMMY Matching deep house and progressive trance, BlackGummy is the EDM persona of LA producer and DJ Iman Marouf. Performed at festivals such as Electric Daisy Carnival, Electric Zoo, Electric Forest, Escape Halloween and this past year at Dallas’ EDM fest Lights All night, Marouf’s music is hypnotic, moody, at points heavy af and, of course, danceable. It’s sort of a refreshing refrain from all the poppy feel-good EDM from artists like Marshmello and Slushii. Since we don’t get many bigger-name EDM folks coming through our city, might want to grab those tickets quick. $10-$15, 10pm, Lush Rooftop, 4553 North Loop 1604 W., (210) 833-5158, lushrooftop.com.

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John 5 & The Creatures

Rebirth Brass Band If you’re unfamiliar with Louisiana’s Rebirth Brass Band, a Grammy-winning group formed in early 80s New Orleans that was featured in HBO’s postKatrina Treme, you best get your ass down to Paper Tiger 'cause these folks know how to turn up. Seriously, just listen to “Do Whatcha Wanna,” the title track from their 2008 fulllength. If you closed your eyes, you’d swear you’re walking down Bourbon Street in New Orleans. The up-tempo track combines funk, soul, jazz and moments of hip-hop, but it’s 100-percent New Orleans party, which is why they’ve been garnering international attention for decades. $18-$23, 8pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com.

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FRI

Arkestra

COURTESY GOLDEN DAWN ARKESTRA

Golden Dawn

In the noisy sea of interchangeable garage bands and laptop projects, Austin-based Afro-psych outfit Golden Dawn Arkestra is exactly as advertised: otherworldly. The 13-piece band, replete with horns, dancers and percussionists in interstellar attire, stages a multi-sensory spectacle using video projections, dance and a soundfusing Ethiopian jazz, Sly Stone-style funk and new-wave disco. If you’re not on psychedelics at the show, you might feel like you are, and if you do happen to take some magic mushrooms to enhance your experience, get ready to lose your mind for the duration of the show. With Roxy Roca. $12-$50, Sam’s Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 2232830, samsburgerjoint.com.

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ADRENALINE PR

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IAN FRANK

Marilyn Manson is pretty well known for being a complete asshole to bandmates and artists on tour with him. There’s an infamous 2003 video of former Manson guitarist John William Lowery, better known as John 5, throwing down his guitar on stage and pushing the Antichrist Superstar after he kicks Lowery in the chest during a live performance of “The Beautiful People.” A year after that sort-of sad, slightly-funny scene, the two parted ways. Since departing Marilyn Manson, Lowery has found a home in another spooky frontman’s band, Rob Zombie, where he’s played guitar since 2006. On top of contributing to the rock-star-slash-horror-director’s band, Lowery has also released an impressive seven instrumental albums of solo work, which at points sort of sounds like a revamped Steve Vai (who actually appears on a John 5’s track “Perineum”), a sort of prog-rocky nu-metal punctuated by intense guitar solos.

On tour in support of his most recent instrumental solo album Season of The Witch, Lowery proves he doesn’t necessarily need a scary frontman to rock a dope show.

7pm, $16.50-$20.50, The Rock Box, 1223 E. Houston St, (210) 677-9453, therockboxsa.com.

THU

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MUSIC

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Chicago

If “25 Or 6 To 4” doesn’t get you shakin’ your tail feather, rock 'n' roll just might not be for you — or at least the Chicago brand of rock. In a 2009 interview, founding Chicago member David Lamm said, “Some of the guys in Earth, Wind & Fire said to me, ‘I know you were doing acid when you wrote that song!” (He also denied that acid had anything to do with it.) A song about writing a song, “25 Or 6 To 4” showed up on the eponymously named album Chicago, (sometimes referred to as Chicago II) after the band was forced to shorten their name from Chicago Transit Authority to simply Chicago. Starting out as the opening act for rock 'n' roll legends Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin, Chicago rose to fame through the 1970s with their blend of jazz fusion and rock that would eventually earn them a position in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. With nearly a half century of shows under their belt, Chicago remains one of the longest-running rock 'n' roll acts in the history of the genre. With JD & The Straight Shot, 8pm, $48-$88, Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St. FRI

30

Maxo Kream Emekwanem Ogugua Biosah Jr., better known as Maxo Kream, isn’t your average trap rapper.

In fact, based on his lyrical skills, we'd be remiss to place him in that sub genre even though the beats he uses could easily be borrowed from the likes of Lil Pump. Born in 1990, Biosah attended Alief Hastings High School and got involved with the 53 Hoover Gangster Crips. Though he went to prison because of his gang activity, Biosah started blowing up with his early mixtapes, garnering attention from the likes of XXL Magazine and Pitchfork. If you dig hip-hop, in all its manifestations, you need to check this dude out. $20-$50, 8pm, Alamo City Music Hall, 1305 E Houston St., alamocitymusichall.com.

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DALE WATSON

Los #3 Dinners In the words of former San Antonio Current editor Enrique Lopetegui, “#3 Dinners isn’t just a band — it’s a San Antonio icon, like the Alamo or the Spurs. The band is beyond good and evil.

Too often, perhaps, they’re taken for granted: they’ve been rocking for over 30 years and, barring some unforeseen cataclysm, they’re here to stay.” According to a review of one of their shows a couple years ago, it seems that the Dinners are very much alive and kicking ass, and judging by how often these dudes continue to gig, they are gonna be here for a while. “Old guys play first,” charismatic vocalist/guitarist Lenny Friedland told the Current before their set, “so we can go home early and hook up the morphine and watch The Weather Channel.” For an opportunity to see one of the bands that helped create a real music scene in San Antonio, you won’t want to miss this show. Free, 9pm, Barriba Cantina, 111 W Crockett St #214, (210) 228-9876, barribacantina.com.

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31

In a recent interview with Texas Standard, Honky-tonk revivalist Dale Watson said he believes our sister to the north, Austin – his home – is becoming uninhabitable for musicians. “I just really feel the city has sold itself… This city was never about money. It was about quality of life.” And honestly, that’s what this musician’s music’s about: living life. With straight-forward guitar chord progressions and vocal melodies as per most Honky-tonk music, and with lyrics like “I like to drink Lone Star / I like to smoke pot / it makes us happy / we do it a lot,” what’s not to love? $10, 9pm, Bang Bang Bar, 119 El Mio Dr., (210) 320-1187, facebook.com/ thebangbangbar210.

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MUSIC

MUSIC CALENDAR

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 28 Bru’s Tunes Live acoustic music by Bru’s Tunes. Free. La Hacienda De Los Barrios, 6-9pm.

Macho Peach Local indie pop rock band takes the stage with five piece alternative rock band Coda Vary, grunge group Waxpanel and Devils Dance. $7-$10.

Jack’s Bar, 8pm.

The Doc Watkins Organ Quartet South Texas jazz musician Brent “Doc” Watkins and his organ quartet perform live for a special show taping. $10. Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30pm.

New Orleans Night - Doc Watkins and Pierre Poree South Texas jazz musician Doc Watkins is by joined Pierre Poree of New Orleans and friends to perform live $25. Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30pm.

Pablo Sáinz Villegas Nicknamed “The soul of Spanish guitar,” Pablo Sáinz Villegas performs in the intimate Carlos Alvarez Studio Theater. $36.50-$76. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm.

Right on Red Local band plays a mix of modern rock tunes. Free. Quarry Hofbrau, 9pm-1am.

THURSDAY, MARCH 29 Frank Painter Band Take Waylon, Hank and Charlie Daniels and mix it with a dash of AC/DC and you get Frank Painter originals.

Free. The Cove. 7:30pm-10:30pm.

The Blues Lawyer Covers from Clapton, BB King, Muddy Waters, and other musicians.

Free. Hidden Tavern, 8-10pm.

Bruce Robison & John Baumann Country music singer-songwriters join each other on stage to celebrate country music’s rich traditions. $12-$60. Sam’s Burger Joint, 7pm.

The Dirty River Dixie Band Inspired by Louis Armstrong and the Hot Five, Kid P Ory and Bix Beiderbecke, the Dirty River Dixie band performs a traditional 1920s jazz style of original songs. $10. Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30pm.

Esham American rapper from Detroit is known for his hallucinogenic style of hiphop which he refers to as “acid rap” plays original songs from his new album The Dead of Winter. $12-$15. Jack’s Bar, 8 p.m.-2am.

John 5 & the Creatures Alternative metal artist performs over eight albums of original work. $16.50-$20.50. The Rock Box, 7pm-midnight Nils Lofgren World renowned singersongwriter, multi-instrumentalist and recent Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee as a member of Bruce Springsteens E Street Band. $49.50. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm.

Sid St. Onge True Texas Troubador begins his residency with an eclectic mix of covers and original songs. Free. Francis Bogside, 10pm-2am.

FRIDAY, MARCH 30 Eric Hisaw Band Known for his impressive heart-felt lyrics, Hisaw’s songs take you on a dynamic journey of loss, inspiration, movement and recovery through country, root rocking and blues. Free. The Cove, 9:30pm-11:30pm.

Roxy Roca Texas-infused powerhouse of southern soul and funk, Roxy Roca hails from Austin with special guests Golden Dawn Arkestra, combining deep grooves with cinematic textures. $12-$50. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm.

3 3 0 e g r ay s o n s t Storytime w/ jamie lin wilson & mike harmeier

WED., MAR 28 • DOORS: 7:30 PM / SHOW: 8:30 PM

MAR. 30 & 31 • RANDY ROGERS BAND

bruce robinson & john baumann - the next waltz live

THU., MAR 29 • DOORS: 7 PM / SHOW: 8 PM APR. 7 • TURNPIKE TROUBADORS

SATURDAY, MARCH 31 JonMikael Mrez Band Local rock band plays Latin, pop, top 40, country and dance. Free. The Cove, 9:30pm-11:30pm.

Doc Watkins and His Orchestra South Texas jazz musician Brent “Doc” Watkins and his orchestra perform live. $30. Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30pm.

Roxy roca - golden dawn arkestra FRI., MAR 30 • DOORS: 8 PM / SHOW: 9 PM APR. 13 • STEVE WARINER

Martin Linville Local artist Martin Linville performs a mix of Americana, blues and rock tunes. Free. Quarry Hofbrau, 9pm1am.

Maxo Kream - Punken Tour from the hip-hop group Kream Clicc, the Houston based band consists of Maxo Kream, LyndoCartel, Elmo and Leroy. Special guest performance includes Cuz Lightyear. $20. Alamo City Music Hall & Club, 8:30pm.

Ox Blood Known to be one of the most violent Oi bands around, Ox Blood performs with Lions Glory from Monterrey, Ultra Riot and Worm Suicide. $15-$18.

The Amp Room, 6pm.

third eye - a tribute to tool & a perfect circle + special tribute to incubus

SAT., MAR 31 • DOORS: 8 PM / SHOW: 9 PM

Spring Broke Brillo presents DJ Automatic, DJ Jampagne and DJ 2Brazy. $5-$10.

Paper Tiger, 10pm-2am.

Third Eye Top-tier Texas Tool and A Perfect Circle tribute act. $10-$45. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm.

SUNDAY, APRIL 1

APR. 14 • SHANE SMITH & THE SAINTS

MAY 4 • LYLE LOVETT & HIS LARGE BAND

SWING NITE W/ bad banjo brown MON., APR 2 • DOORS: 7 PM / SHOW: 8:30 PM

Villela Soul Sundays Jandro’s welcomes back San Antonio’s own soul crooner Sam Villela & the Villela band for another edition of “Soul Sundays” performing rare soul grooves and Chicano R&B. Free. Jandro’s Garden Patio, 10pm-2am.

MONDAY, APRIL 2 Swing Nite with Bad Banjo Brown Local traditional jazz group performs swing and upbeat jazz. Dance lessons from 7-8. $7$10. Sam’s Burger Joint, 7pm.

samsburgerjoint.com sacurrent.com • March 28-April 3, 2018 • CURRENT 43

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I’m in a D/s relationship. I’m not submissive around the clock, but my partner owns my cock. We’ve purchased several male chastity devices, but I can pretty easily get my cock out of them. My partner did some investigating and learned that the only effective devices work with a Prince Albert piercing—a ring through the head of the penis that locks into the device, preventing the sub from pulling his cock out. My partner now wants me to get a PA. I don’t want to get my cock pierced and I’ve said so, but I haven’t safe-worded on it. I would very reluctantly do it to please her. My partner made an appointment for a piercing three months from now, on our second anniversary. She told me that we can cancel it if I can find an effective chastity device that doesn’t require a piercing. Do you or any of your contacts in the fetish world know of any devices that are inescapable?

Piercing Appendage Unnecessarily Scares Eager Sub “I’ve never come across a standard male chastity device I couldn’t pull out of,” said Ruffled Sheets, “so PAUSES’s partner has obviously researched regular chastity devices well.”

Sheets is an IT consultant who lives in the United Kingdom with his partner of 15 years.

Male chastity devices have fascinated him for more than two decades and, as of this writing, he owns 37 different kinds of cock cages. His partner frequently keeps his cock locked up for weeks or months at a time—and if there were such a thing as a commercially available male chastity device that was inescapable, Sheets would know about it.

“However, all is not lost,” said Sheets.

“Piercing is one of two ways to ensure the penis cannot escape. The other is a full chastity belt. Now, full belts aren’t without their drawbacks—they are generally more expensive, are harder to conceal under clothes, and take longer to get used to, especially at night. But they are secure. I have three custom-fitted chastity belts and, once properly fitted, they’re inescapable.”

Sheets’ chastity belts were made for him by Behind Barz (behindbarz.co.uk) and Fancy Steel (fancysteel.com.au).

But if most commercially available male chastity devices aren’t inescapable, what’s the point? Why would a person bother to wear one?

“You can only partially escape,” said Sheets. “It’s possible to pull out the penis but not remove the device,” which is anchored around the balls and base of the

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shaft. “And a partially removed device is awkward and uncomfortable.”

For many male subs and their Doms, the symbolism of a male chastity device is what matters most, not its inescapability. And as with other forms of sex play and most aspects of healthy relationships, the honor system makes it work.

“As in any negotiated relationship, you can cheat,” said Sheets. “But why cheat?

They’re easy to keep on if you’re genuinely interested in submitting.”

Fun fact: Locking a guy’s cock in an inescapable device doesn’t prevent him from coming.

“A device can be locked in place with a belt or a piercing, but orgasms are still possible,” said Sheets. “I’ve yet to discover any kind of device that can prevent the wearer from achieving orgasm if he’s holding a powerful wand massager against it, especially after weeks without coming.”

So if your Dominant is locking up your cock to prevent you from coming, PAUSES, she’ll also need to lock up her vibrators.

There are two other things Sheets wanted you to be aware of as you begin to explore male chastity, PAUSES. “Lots of men are shy about being submissive,” said Sheets, “so they’ll say things like ‘I’m normally dominant in real life,’ kind of like PAUSES opened his letter by saying he isn’t submissive ‘around the clock.’ I just wanted to make sure he understood that chastity is a long-term game. For most of us in chastity devices, it’s a 24/7 affair—literally around the clock.” If you said you weren’t submissive around the clock because you didn’t want to admit that you are, in fact, submissive around the clock, PAUSES, chastity play won’t be a problem. But if you meant it—if you’re not capable of remaining in a submissive headspace for more than a few hours—you’ll need to ask your partner, before the padlock clicks shut, just how long she intends to keep your cock locked up.

“Being locked also has another side effect that you wouldn’t perhaps anticipate,” Sheets added. “Whenever you become turned on, you feel your cage or belt against your penis. It can be anything from a gentle reminder to a vice-like grip, depending on your arousal level. And whenever this happens, your mind automatically turns to your key holder, even if they’re not around.”

Ruffled Sheets blogs at ruffledsheets. com, where he reviews male chastity devices and other sex toys. Follow him on Twitter @ruffledsheets. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter ITMFA.org

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NOW ENROLLING! For more information, please contact us: Neera Bhatia, MD, OBGYN Amy at p. (972) 768-1141 / e. amyfeinhals44@gmail.com Brandie at p. (210) 665-1068 / e. brandiecharles2@gmail.

San Antonio:

210-320-5825 231564 USA Recruitment 20170706 Poster Resized English 1.0

Megamates.com 18+

Or visit www.Ampowerstudy.com

Seeking available adultS!

If you are an adult who is overweight or have obesity, you may qualify for our research study. Visit our website today!

Study specifics:

• Healthy adults: Males (age 22-55) and Females (age 22-45) • Non-smokers • BMI range 27.0 - 39.9 • Overnight stays & return visits may be required • Compensation may be available up to $3,975 for time and travel 8307 Gault Lane • San Antonio, TX 78209 sacurrent.com • March 28-April 3, 2018 • CURRENT 47

Ou Al t p Vi at l si ie ts nt !

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• Healthy adults age 18-49 • Flexible schedule • No overnights and short visits • Visits are approximately 1 hour • Up to $200 per completed visit • Total compensation up to

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ICON Early Phase Services 8307 Gault Lane • San Antonio, TX 78209 48

CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

8307 Gault Lane • San Antonio, TX 78209

ETC.

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): A few years ago, a New Zealander named Bruce Simpson announced plans to build a cruise missile at his home using parts he bought legally from eBay and other online stores. In accordance with current astrological omens, I suggest you initiate a comparable project. For example, you could arrange a do-it-yourself space flight by tying a thousand helium balloons to your lawn chair. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Please don’t try lunatic schemes like the helium balloon space flight. Here’s the truth: Now is a favorable time to initiate big, bold projects, but not foolish, big, bold projects. The point is to be both visionary and practical.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Finnish word kalsarikännit means getting drunk at home alone in your underwear and bingeing on guilty pleasures. It’s a perfect time for you to do just that. The Fates are whispering, “Chill out. Vegetate. Be ambitionless.” APRIL FOOL! I told a half-truth. In fact, now is a perfect time to excuse yourself from trying too hard and doing too much. You can accomplish wonders and marvels by staying home and bingeing on guilty pleasures in your underwear. But there’s no need to get drunk.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Actor Gary Busey is very sure there are no mirrors in heaven. He has other specific ideas about the place, as well. This became a problem when he was filming the movie Quigley, in which his character Archie visits heaven. Busey was so enraged at the director’s mistaken rendering of paradise that he got into a fist fight with another actor. I hope you will show an equally feisty fussiness in the coming weeks, Gemini. APRIL FOOL! I lied, sort of. On the one hand, I do hope you’ll be forceful as you insist on expressing your high standards. Don’t back down!

But on the other hand, refrain from pummeling anyone who asks you to compromise.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the Scots language still

spoken in parts of Scotland, eedle-doddles are people who can’t summon initiative when it’s crunch time. They are so consumed in trivial or irrelevant concerns that they lose all instinct for being in the right place at the right time. I regret to inform you that you are now at risk of being an eedle-doddle. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, the truth is just the opposite. I have rarely seen you so well-primed to respond vigorously and bravely to Big Magic Moments. For the foreseeable future, you are King or Queen of Carpe Diem.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Paul McCartney likes to periodically act like a regular person who’s not a famous musician. He goes grocery shopping without bodyguards.

He rides on public transportation and strikes up conversations with random strangers. I think you may need to engage in similar behavior yourself, Leo. You’ve become a bit too enamored with your own beauty and magnificence. You really do need to come down to earth and hang out more with us little people. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, now is prime time to hone your power and glory; to indulge your urge to shine and dazzle; to be as conspicuously marvelous as you dare to be.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The coming days will be an excellent time to concoct an alchemical potion that will heal your oldest wounds. For best results, mix and sip a gallon of potion using the following magic ingredients: absinthe, chocolate syrup, cough medicine, dandelion tea, cobra venom, and worm’s blood. APRIL FOOL! I mixed a lie in with a truth. It is a fact that now is a fine time to seek remedies for your ancient wounds. But the potion I recommended is bogus. Go on a quest for the real cure.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I expect you will soon receive a wealth of exotic and expensive gifts. For example, a benefactor may finance your vacation to a gorgeous sacred site or give you the deed to an enchanted waterfall.

I won’t be surprised if you’re blessed with a solid gold

JONESIN’ CROSSWORD by Matt Jones “SURROUND SOUND”--ONE WAY TO TAKE IT ALL IN. ACROSS

1 Fly fast 4 Amy of 2016’s “Arrival” 9 Retool 14 Fire truck accessory 15 Addition to a bill or contract 16 Boisterous 17 Flock formation 18 Venus, when visible after sunset 20 “Back in Black” rockers 22 Some board members 23 Light nap 24 “In memoriam” write-up 26 Corrosive cleaning stuff 27 Know with certainty 30 Bass or buff ending 31 Bother, to the Bard 34 Smoking-based practical joke that’s hardly seen anymore 37 Have an ___ the hole 38 Opus ___ (“The Da Vinci Code” sect) 39 Drew, the detective 41 It’s tough to hear without an amp 44 8 1/2” x 11” size, briefly 45 Geek blogger Wheaton 46 James of “Gunsmoke” 47 Family member, informally 48 “___ bien!”

49 They may be tough to break 53 Like the Beatles 54 “As far as I can ___ ...”

58 Way up (and down)

61 Director Ang 62 The Chi-___ (“Have You Seen Her” group) 63 Siberian forest region 64 “Chandelier” singer 65 Strap for a dog walk 66 With 67-Across, what each of the long answers displays 67 See 66-Across

DOWN

1 Coffee nickname 2 CFO or COO, e.g.

3 Irked, with “off” 4 “What ___ the odds?”

5 Split (up) 6 Skillful 7 Department store section 8 ___ Lanka 9 Harmon of “Rizzoli & Isles” 10 Spoonful, maybe 11 British isles 12 Exam for H.S. juniors 13 Banks who hosts “America’s Next Top Model” 19 Justin Timberlake’s former

bathtub or a year’s supply of luxury cupcakes. It’s even possible that a sugar daddy or sugar momma will fork over $500,000 to rent an auditorium for a party in your honor.

APRIL FOOL! I distorted the truth. I do suspect you’ll get more goodies than usual in the coming weeks, but they’re likely to come in the form of love and appreciation, not flashy material goods. (For best results, don’t just wait around for the goodies to stream in; ask for them!)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): There’s a narrow waterway between Asia and Europe. In the fifth century B.C., Persian King Xerxes had two bridges built across it so he could invade Greece with his army. But a great storm swept through and smashed his handiwork. Xerxes was royally peeved. He ordered his men to whip the uncooperative sea and brand it with hot irons, all the while shouting curses at it, like “You are a turbid and briny river.” I recommend that you do something similar, Scorpio. Has Nature done anything to inconvenience you? Show it who’s the Supreme Boss! APRIL FOOL! I lied.

The truth is, now is an excellent time for you to become more attuned and in love with a Higher Power, however you define that. What’s greater than you and bigger than your life and wilder than you can imagine? Refine your practice of the art of surrender.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Fifteenth-century Italian painter Filippo Lippi was such a lustful womanizer that he sometimes found it tough to focus on making art. At one point, his wealthy and politically powerful patron Cosimo de’ Medici, frustrated by his extracurricular activities, imprisoned him in his studio to ensure he wouldn’t get diverted. Judging from your current astrological omens, Sagittarius, I suspect you need similar constraints. APRIL FOOL! I fibbed a little. I am indeed worried you’ll get so caught up in the pursuit of pleasure that you’ll neglect your duties. But I won’t go so far as to suggest you should be locked up for your own good.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Now is a favorable time to slap a lawsuit on your mom in an effort to make her pay for the mistakes she made while raising you. You could also post an exposé on social media in which you reveal her shortcomings, or organize a protest rally outside her house with your friends holding signs demanding she apologize for how she messed you up. APRIL FOOL! Everything I just said was ridiculous and false. The truth is, now is a perfect moment to meditate on the gifts and blessings your mother gave you. If she is still alive, express your gratitude to her. If she has passed on, do a ritual to honor and celebrate her.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian author Alice Walker won a Pulitzer Prize for her novel The Color Purple. She has also published 33 other books and built a large audience. But some of her ideas are not exactly mainstream. For example, she says that one of her favorite authors is David Icke, who asserts that intelligent extraterrestrial reptiles have disguised themselves as humans and taken control of our planet’s governments. I bring this to your attention, because I think it’s time that you, too, reveal the full extent of how crazy you really are. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. While it’s true that now is a favorable time to show more of your unconventional and eccentric sides, I don’t advise you to go full-on whacko.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Warning! Danger! You are at risk of contracting a virulent case of cherophobia! And what exactly is cherophobia? It’s a fear of happiness.

It’s an inclination to dodge and shun joyful experiences because of the suspicion that they will disappoint you or cause bad luck. Please do something to stop this insidious development. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is that you are currently more receptive to positive emotions and delightful events than you’ve been in a log time. There’s less than a one-percent chance you will fall victim to cherophobia.

Answer on page 25. group 21 Dave of “Fuller House” 25 Rodeo horse, briefly 26 Sudoku solving skill 27 Costar of Rue, Betty, and Estelle 28 Do really well 29 Hardy wheat in health-food products 30 April ___ (“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” reporter) 31 Contrary to 32 “Inferno” poet 33 Black-and-white ocean predators 35 Actor Elba 36 Become used (to) 40 Calendar spans, for short 42 Unexpected plot turn 43 Bin contents, until emptied 47 Private reserve 48 Implied but not stated 49 “Life In ___” (Matt Groening comic strip) 50 “That’s ___!” (“Not so!”)

51 Alpha successor 52 Currier’s lithography partner 53 Herr’s wife 55 Otherwise 56 Princess from Alderaan 57 Goneril’s father 59 Prefix with laryngology 60 Palindromic, growlysounding compressed file format

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

sacurrent.com • March 28-April 3, 2018 • CURRENT 49

FINAL FOUR AT

BURLESON YARD BEER GARDEN 430 Austin st sAtX 50

CURRENT • March 28-April 3, 2018 • sacurrent.com

// 2018

SPRING& SUMMER

// CONCERT SERIES JAZZ APPRECIATION MONTH IN APRIL 3 10 17 24

Aaron and George Prado - Music from Duke Ellington’s Money Jungle Brett Cline Trio - Plays the music of George Harrison Good Vibes with percussionist, vibraphonist and educator Joe Caploe BYOV - Bring Your Own Vinyl Night

// APRIL 7

Jim Cullum Jazz Band / Skyline Swing Coates University Center - Trinity University 7 p.m. to 11 p.m.

8 Regency Jazz Band / Sunday Jazz at the Witte Witte Museum 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.

12 Ken Slavin / Jazz in the Garden Japanese Tea Garden 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m.

13 Blackbird Sing / Art Party San Antonio Museum of Art 6 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

// MAY 5

Jim Cullum Jazz Band / Skyline Swing Coates University Center - Trinity University 7 p.m. to 11 p.m.

11 Los De Esta Noche / Art Party San Antonio Museum of Art 6 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

13 S.A. Jazz Songbirds w/ the Aaron Prado Trio Sunday Jazz at the Witte Witte Museum 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.

17 Toro Flores & Hot Sauce / Jazz in the Garden Japanese Tea Garden 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m.

// JUNE 2

Jim Cullum Jazz Band / Skyline Swing Coates University Center - Trinity University 7 p.m. to 11 p.m.

8 Grupo Massa / Art Party San Antonio Museum of Art 6 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

10 Henry Brun & Soul Tren Latino / Sunday Jazz at the Witte Witte Museum 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.

14 Dirty River Dixie Band / Jazz in the Garden Japanese Tea Garden 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m.

// KICKS OFF SPRING APRIL 6TH MEMBERSHIP JOIN OR RENEW TODAY JOIN.KRTU.ORG DRIVE

15 Season Opener / Rooftop Jazz Party** Artpace 8 p.m. to 11 p.m.

17 Tommy Howard / Summer Jazz & Lunch McNay Art Museum 12:30 p.m to 3 p.m.

28 Small World / South Texas Jazz Project Live* Laurie Auditorium - Trinity University 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

// JULY 7

Jim Cullum Jazz Band / Skyline Swing Coates University Center - Trinity University 7 p.m. to 11 p.m.

13 PM Soul / Art Party San Antonio Museum of Art 6 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

15 The Jazz Protagonists / Summer Jazz & Lunch McNay Art Museum 12:30 p.m. to 3 p.m.

27 Henry Brun’s Afro Caribbean Dream Project / Rooftop Jazz Party** Artpace 8 p.m. to 11 p.m.

// AUGUST 4

10 17 19 23

Jim Cullum Jazz Band / Skyline Swing Coates University Center - Trinity University 7 p.m. to 11 p.m.

Toro Flores & Zarabande / Art Party San Antonio Museum of Art 6 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

CPT KIRK / Rooftop Jazz Party** Artpace 8 p.m. to 11 p.m.

Henry Brun & International Trio / Summer Jazz & Lunch McNay Art Museum 12:30 p.m. to 3 p.m.

Audra Menconi / South Texas Jazz Project Live* Laurie Auditorium - Trinity University 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

For more information visit the Events page at www.krtu.org KRTU Members & a guest receive free admission to all listed events, which are open to the public unless otherwise noted. ** KRTU & Artpace Members Only * KRTU Members Only Dates & Bands Subject to Change

KRTU.ORG