San Antonio Current – March 14, 2018

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MARCH 14-20, 2018

Victory Grabbers

Texas women rocked the primaries

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FIRST WORDS

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1

On The Big Spoon: The Current Decided to Give Me a Column // Congratulations, looking forward to it. Well deserved. – Dolores Vara On The Trouble with Councilman Brockhouse // I live in D6 and have met Greg on several occasions and he is looking out for his constituents AND SA. Too bad the current and the story's writer is out headhunting and making up bad things instead of unbiased reporting...but then again, that is the norm for them. – Ed Perry

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On 16 Female-Owned San Antonio Restaurants You Should've Tried By Now // This is great! I’ve been to more than half of these and look forward to supporting the ones I haven’t tried yet. – Amy Mendez

A Land Bridge Too Far? The money’s in hand but questions still hound the Hardberger Park project

On How Bah Dah? Danielle Bregoli Is Coming To San Antonio // Is it time to hit "snooze for 30 days?" on the Current yet?! – Liz Lew

Issue 18_11 /// March 14-20, 2018

NEWS

Victory Grabbers Female candidates were primed for the primaries

22

CALENDAR

Our top picks for the week

SCREENS

37

FOOD

About Damn Time With The Dogfather, one of San Anto’s own finally finds permanent home The Big Spoon San Antonio needs to stop sucking

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Food Court New bars, new coffee and more

MUSIC

Spill-Bound Local fests build on SXSW’s musical overflow Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

Women were the biggest winners of Texas's March 6 primary elections – and there was more at play than President Donald Trump.

Illustration and art direction by Carlos Aguilar 6

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Demanding a Seat at the Table Creative Women’s Alliance aims to empower underrepresented artists

Their Town The trouble with Brockhouse

Down with the Sickness San Antonio production Stage V lacks distinct personality as dystopian teen drama

COVER

ARTS + CULTURE

Bernie Takes Trinity Crowd turns out for Vermont senator

33

ON THE

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58

ETC.

Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology

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44

NIGHTLIFE

Dueling Grapefruit Tinkering with the latest releases from Real Ale & Austin Eastciders

sacurrent.com •March 14-20, 2018 • CURRENT 7

EVENTS FREE & PUBLIC!

8 CURRENT • March 14-20, 2018 • sacurrent.com

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NEWS

The

Trouble with

THEIR TOWN

GREG JEFFERSON

Brockhouse

≥

Last week at City Council, Councilman Greg Brockhouse took on attorney Amy Hardberger with all the finesse of a teenager trying mixed martial arts for the first time. Afterward, an angry Councilwoman Shirley Gonzales blasted his comments from across the dais, calling them sexist.

Her exchange with Brockhouse was all over the news.

But allegations of misogyny aren’t the entire story.

First, some background.

Hardberger was in chambers to win council’s blessing to join SAWS’s board of trustees. Except for Brockhouse, it wasn’t a difficult vote. Her credentials are impeccable.

She is the associate dean of the St. Mary’s University School of Law and a water law expert. She earned bachelor’s and master’s degrees in geology at Earlham College in Indiana and UTSA, respectively. At UTSA, Hardberger focused on hydrology because she was fascinated by the mechanics of water. She earned her Texas Tech law degree partly because she wanted to fight to ensure everyone, from the dirt poor to the rich, has access to Texas’s most precious natural resource.

Two men also won council’s endorsement for the SAWS board on Thursday. David McGee, who’s already served as a SAWS trustee for two years, is president and CEO of Amegy Bank’s Central Texas region, and a former chairman of the San Antonio Chamber of Commerce. The other was Eduardo Parra, chief executive of the civil-engineering firm Parra and Co. Mayor Ron Nirenberg, who picked the three appointees, needled Brockhouse after the councilman finished questioning Hardberger. “Would you like to ask the male candidates questions as well?” he said.

“Because they went through the same process and also will be representing your constituents.”

Brockhouse said he didn’t grill either of them because

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they wouldn’t represent quadrants on the SAWS board that included his district, which takes in the Far Northwest Side. Hardberger is the appointee for the southwest quadrant, which encompasses much of District 6.

He also said he didn’t question her qualifications, but “the process” that brought her nomination to the fore.

Brockhouse voted against all three appointees.

But that was only because he couldn’t convince his colleagues to separate the nominations so he could officially flip-off Hardberger alone. The vote for the resolution was 10-1.

Brockhouse told Hardberger he opposed her appointment because “I’m concerned with your beliefs about development and with your beliefs on water conservation.” They don’t line up with the interests of District 6 residents, he added.

The irony is that Hardberger has been one of the toughest and most consistent and credible critics of SAWS’s planned Vista Ridge water pipeline. The $3-billion-plus project is on track to begin delivering water from Burleson County in 2020, and will continue pushing up rates for SAWS customers.

In December, Council OK’d rate hikes for 2018 and 2019, small slices of which will be dedicated to Vista Ridge. Brockhouse voted against the increases, along with Councilmen John Courage and Clayton Perry, and sharply questioned the need for the 142-mile pipeline project.

So what’s the deal with his opposition to the daughter of one-time Mayor Phil Hardberger, her gender aside?

Part of it is raw politics.

At some point, whether in 2019 or some election beyond, Brockhouse will almost certainly run for mayor, probably against Nirenberg. Phil Hardberger was one of Nirenberg’s earliest and arguably most important supporters. If you’re building a case to run against Nirenberg, Amy Hardberger’s appointment will look downright tribal — one San Antonio power doing a favor

for another power.

Part of it is Brockhouse’s brand of populism.

Like the fire union that used to pay him for political work, Brockhouse flirts with that aw-shucks kind of populism that says everything would be OK if the professional politicians, technocrats, academics and other so-called experts would just get lost. Hardberger fits neatly into those last two categories.

Hence Brockhouse’s jeering takedown: “I doubt that you understand the residents in the community I represent.”

Let’s be clear: Too often lawmakers are awfully comfortable sharing a bubble with other insiders. They forget residents want accountability and for their tax dollars to be as carefully managed as their own household budgets. Real leaders know this, and they’re in tune with their constituents. But they also know when to listen to expert advice and make changes that will benefit the city as a whole, even if a chunk of the electorate objects.

Part of it is Brockhouse has a point Nirenberg has the power to pick SAWS board appointees, and he didn’t hesitate to exercise it. He also largely failed to unite council members behind the decision by giving them some say in the selection. That’s another way of saying he’s not rallying them — or their constituents — behind his vision for San Antonio.

Nirenberg apparently didn’t learn the inclusion lesson from Phil Hardberger, a strong mayor who also tended to the needs and concerns of council members.

After all, it was Courage, not Brockhouse, who said: “I would have liked to have had more collaboration and input because this is such an important decision.”

Same message. Brockhouse just said it more pointedly.

That’s Brockhouse. He’s ambitious, impatient, combative and talks pointedly even when he’s saying good morning.

Full disclosure: I worked in Councilwoman Ana Sandoval’s office for seven months, mostly as her cochief of staff.

GREG BROCKHOUSE FACEBOOK

The District 6 councilman is accused of sexism. He’s also right about one thing

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NEWS

PHIL HARDBERGER PARK CONSERVANCY

A Land Bridge Too Far?

The money’s in hand but questions still hound the Hardberger Park project SANFORD NOWLIN

≥

The $23 million land bridge to connect both sides of Phil Hardberger Park hit its final fundraising goal this week, again raising questions about how San Antonio should allocate money for parks, streets and drainage.

A $1.5 million gift from the Tobin Endowment closed the controversial project’s $10 million fundraising goal, allowing the city to solicit construction bids this month. The bridge, which would let park visitors and wildlife safely cross bustling Wurzbach Parkway as if they’d climbed a natural hill, already has $13 million from last year’s city bond issue.

But critics argue those millions would be better spent on sidewalks, parks and upkeep in historically neglected parts of town. Eight-year-old Hardberger Park’s 330 acres straddle comparatively wealthy districts 8 and 9.

“I’m sorry that to spend money on one project you do it at the expense of other projects,” said former Mayor Phil Hardberger, who led the fundraising effort for the bridge at his namesake park. “But I think it says a lot that $10 million of this funding came out of our citizens’ pockets, voluntarily.”

Hardberger and his wife Linda made a $1 million personal donation to the project, now called the Robert L.B. Tobin Land Bridge after the philanthropist whose name is on the Tobin Center for the Performing Arts.

The park’s master plan called for construction of a bridge covered in natural vegetation to span the parkway.

Construction is scheduled for completion at the end of 2019.

“I’m not disputing that the bridge is cutting edge and one-of-a-kind,” said District 6 Councilman Greg Brockhouse.

“But I don’t think it’s the way we should be spending public money. I’ve got parks in my district that can’t get $50,000 or $60,000 and would love just to have a pavilion.”

While much of the funding came from private donors, Brockhouse said it wouldn’t have been possible without Hardberger’s longtime civic and business connections.

Observers question whether other parks could pull in

allies as powerful as Mayor Ron Nirenberg, considered a Hardberger protégée.

Since the bridge’s proposal, AM talk radio leveraged taxpayer anger at the project, labeling it an overpriced “critter bridge” championed by San Antonio insiders.

Nirenberg acknowledged that San Antonio could use every cent it raises for roads and sidewalks, but he disputes that the bridge is an either-or proposition. Cities must balance infrastructure basics with aesthetic investments, he said, and voters' overwhelming support of the $870 million bond showed residents value both.

“It told me San Antonians don’t just want a city that functions well,” Nirenberg said. “They want green space and a city of beauty.”

The debate signals economically divided San Antonio’s need to weigh how it spreads around public money, said Christine Drennon, head of Trinity University’s urban studies program. Currently, the city distributes bond funds through “rough proportionality,” which weighs the amount slotted for each district against how much use its infrastructure receives.

That means areas that historically suffer from lack of proper drainage, sidewalks and park space are stuck in a perpetual game of catch-up with their wealthier neighbors, Drennon said.

“The result is District 8, which has no serious infrastructure problems, gets a land bridge, while other parts of town still need sidewalks,” she added.

However, Council last fall approved a $2.7 billion annual budget that used a so-called “equity lens” to send more street spending to long-neglected areas. With Nirenberg championing the approach and a progressive-dominated council, Drennon said that outlook could spread to the next bond issue.

“We’ve got (four) years until the next one,” she said. “If we can continue that push, we may see spending on parks and infrastructure take a different look.”

Top Land-Bridge Donors* $1 million or more Tobin Endowment Margie and Bill Klesse Phil and Linda Hardberger Voelcker Fund Texas Parks and Wildlife San Antonio Parks and Recreation Bexar County $500,000 or more Kronkosky Charitable Foundation Valero Energy $100,000 or more Tim and Karen Hixon Cliff and Judy Morton McCombs Family Foundation Debbie and John T. Montford Ed and Linda Whitacre Anonymous *Includes all donors of $100,000 or more.

Source: Phil Hardberger Park Conservancy sacurrent.com • March 14-20, 2018 • CURRENT 13

14 CURRENT • March 14-20, 2018 • sacurrent.com

NEWS

SANFORD NOWLIN

Bernie Takes Trinity

Crowd turns out for Vermont Senator

≥

of his campaign, and the Trinity event.

Saturday, he’ll appear at a rally in redderthan-Big Red Lubbock.

Dreadlocked Eric Richards, 35, waited patiently for the speech, a copy of The New Jim Crow, Michelle Alexander’s book critical of U.S. mass incarceration, steepled on his knee.

He supported Sanders in the primary but voted for Green Party candidate Jill Stein after Hillary Clinton seized the Democratic nomination. Richards now regrets the decision, but he added that the evening’s turnout is a sign 2020 likely will play out differently.

“It speaks well for the future,” he said.

“The tumultuous political climate has lit a fire under young people.”

Small business owner and Bernie fan Poppy Davis did cast her vote for Clinton after she won the nomination, but added that she’d support the 76-year-old Sanders should he decide to run again.

She relies on Obamacare for her health coverage and worries what may become of the program.

“I’ll support Bernie until he drops dead or loses his mind, which I don’t think is going to happen,” said Davis, 47. “I just love him. I’ve just never had so much of a connection with a politician.”

After warm-up speeches by former Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower and Ohio State Sen. Nina Turner, Sanders took the stage to a thunderous standing ovation. Some audience members surged closer to snap photos as he smiled and waved. But it didn’t take long for Sanders to settle in behind the podium and the crowd back into its seats.

During Sanders’ hour-long talk, he told supporters that the same ideas he hawked on the campaign trail can become reality when they volunteer and vote for progressive candidates. The Our Revolution organization threw its support behind 29 contenders in the recent Texas primaries, he pointed out, and the majority won the right to appear on general election ballots.

“If we can dramatically increase the voter turnout, we can win in Texas,” Sanders said. “And if we can win in Texas, we will win all over the country.”

Sanders saved his direct attacks on President Trump for the end of the talk, drawing a chorus of boos and hisses when he mentioned the billionaire reality star by name. Trump’s victory, he said, was a result of voter anger that can be channeled into meaningful change.

SANFORD NOWLIN

In the run-up to Sen. Bernie Sanders’ Friday night speech at Trinity University’s Laurie Auditorium, it was easy to imagine yourself in Portland or San Francisco.

Fifteen minutes before start time, with the 2,700-seat venue already full to capacity, a jazz combo blew through standards by John Coltrane and Sonny Rollins. The crowd, younger and decidedly more diverse than the one attending author Margaret Atwood’s talk the night before, crackled with energy.

The seats nearest the stage, usually reserved for university bigwigs and donors, were largely filled with selfiesnapping students.

“We’ve already talked to people who were going to sneak in because they ran out of free tickets,” said Brian Callanan, 33, who drove down from Austin with his partner Erika Aurioles, 27, to hear the progressive firebrand and 2016 presidential contender. “I mean, look around: there are college students, there are old people, there are working people.”

Sanders came to Texas for a South by Southwest festival appearance, and in SXSW spillover form broke off for a San Antonio’s fundraiser for Our Revolution, the political organization launched out

SANFORD NOWLIN

With the speech over, the crowd was back on its feet, clapping and whooping.

They swarmed around Sanders as he shook hands from stage.

Josefina Fernandez, a 19-year-old University of Texas at San Antonio student, said Sanders’ talk strengthened her resolve to attend this month’s Cesar E. Chavez march and other protests. “As a college student, it’s so easy to feel cut off, so this felt good.”

Her uncle, Pedro Fernandez, 34, a onetime Sanders delegate who also refused to vote for Clinton, said the crowd’s enthusiasm should remind Alamo City progressives they’re not alone.

“Having these (political views) in Texas can be so frustrating, but this was chicken soup,” he said. “It was chicken soup for the progressive soul.”

sacurrent.com • March 14-20, 2018 • CURRENT 15

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FEATURE: NEWS

CARLOS AGUILAR

Female candidates were primed for the primaries GREG JEFFERSON

≥

Campaign consultant Laura Barberena cringes a little at the suggestion that female candidates scored so many victories in last week’s Texas primaries because President Donald Trump had given maleness a bad name. Or that the #MeToo movement was behind it all.

“It’s not as though people said, ‘Let me vote for the one who has a vagina,’” Barberena said. “There’s a rush to simplify this. It’s more complicated than that.”

She added: “You have to understand – these women worked really hard.”

The 51-year-old Barberena did, too. She helped Joe Gonzales crush District Attorney Nico LaHood in the Democratic primary. In fact, when we reached her Saturday afternoon, she was at campaign headquarters with a colleague preparing for the general election against Republican Tylden Shaeffer. She also worked for Democrat Melissa Vara, who beat her male opponent by 40 percentage points in a County Court-at-Law race.

The election night results are clear-cut, even if all of the reasons for them aren’t. Female candidates made huge gains over previous midterm primary elections, when the president’s party frequently loses seats in Congress. A Brookings Institution report released Thursday showed Texas women won three times as many races for their party’s nomination for congressional seats than in 2014, the last midterm elections.

In Congressional District 22, which stretches from San Antonio nearly to El Paso, Gina Ortiz Jones, a former Air Force intelligence officer, took 42 percent of the vote against four

other Democrats – including Jay Huling, a one-time House intelligence committee staffer who was endorsed by Julian and Joaquin Castro. She’ll face Rick Trevino (18 percent) in the May 22 runoff to determine who will take on Republican Rep. Will Hurd in the general election.

Women made their mark at every level – federal, state, and local.

Statewide, Lupe Valdez, the openly gay Dallas County sheriff, won 43 percent in a field of nine Democrats seeking to challenge Gov. Greg Abbott in the fall. She’s in a runoff against Andrew White (27 percent), a Houston businessman and son of the late Gov. Mark White.

In San Antonio, two women – Cynthia Brehm and Jo Ann Ponce Gonzalez – will compete to decide which of them will lead the Bexar County Republican Party. On the Democrat side, an under-funded Monica Ramirez Alcantara buried the swaggering party Chairman Manuel Medina, taking two of every three votes cast in the race.

Patsy Woods Martin of Annie’s List, a political action committee that recruits and supports women candidates (pro-choice and mostly Democrats) in Texas, said Trump’s unpopularity among females helped set off the surge of female candidates. In 2017, 45 percent of men surveyed by the polling firm Gallup said Trump was doing a good job in the Oval Office, but only 33 percent of women agreed. That’s the biggest disagreement between the sexes over a president at least since Bill Clinton took office in 1992.

It’s worth keeping in mind that women voters slightly outnumber their male counterparts, and that many of them are fired up, as we’ve seen in the huge turnout at women’s

marches since Trump’s inauguration. “The power of the female vote has been vastly underestimated,” said Trish DeBerry, a San Antonio communications consultant and one-time candidate for mayor.

The outrages have piled up. They include Trump’s nowinfamous “grab ’em by the pussy” remarks on a hot mic during a taping of “Access Hollywood” with Billy Bush.

Nearly 20 women have accused him of sexual misconduct.

He wanted to throw Democrat Hillary Clinton in prison. He suggested then-Fox News journalist Megyn Kelly’s menstrual cycle was to blame for her tough questioning during a televised debate.

“Donald Trump is making America great again in ways we never imagined – if we can survive it,” said Woods Martin, Annie’s List’s executive director. “Many women said, ‘He is bad for me and my family, and I am going to run.’”

In 2017, about 800 women sought candidate training from Annie’s List, which Woods Martin said was four times the organization’s goal. Roughly 10 percent of the women who underwent training ended up running for office.

But Trump and voters’ reactions to him and his policies don’t adequately explain what happened in the Texas primaries on March 6. By and large, successful women candidates zeroed in on issues important to voters, talked about solutions, didn’t dwell on issues of gender and worked tirelessly.

Queta Rodriguez isn’t one of the women who won their races on March 6. But she did force Bexar County Commissioner Paul Elizondo, who’s 84 and seeking his 10th term, into a May 22 runoff for the Democratic nomination. sacurrent.com • March 14-20, 2018 • CURRENT 17

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sacurrent.com • March 14-20, 2018 • CURRENT 19

CARLOS AGUILAR

FEATURE: NEWS

She won 30 percent of the vote to Elizondo’s 45 percent.

She grew up on the West Side, the daughter of former Councilwoman Lourdes Galvan and LULAC hell-raiser Henry Rodriguez. She’s a veteran. She retired from the Marines after 20 years, and now serves as Bexar County’s veterans service officer.

Rodriguez knocked on a lot of doors during the first phase of her campaign, and showed up at a lot of community meetings.

So, did her gender matter?

Yes, some.

“I’d be lying to myself if I said no,” the 47-year-old Rodriguez said. “When we pointed out that there hasn’t been a woman on commissioners court in 20 years” – Republican Cyndi Taylor Krier stepped down as county judge in 2001 to become a University of Texas System regent – “that made a pretty powerful impression.”

On election night, as she threaded her way through Elizondo’s crowded campaign headquarters on Fredericksburg Road, former State Sen. Leticia Van de Putte 20 CURRENT • March 14-20, 2018 • sacurrent.com

acknowledged Rodriguez had a “very compelling story.” She also talked about Rodriguez’s showing as part of a wave of successful women that, a little more than two hours after the polls had closed, was already obvious. The moment was significant for Van de Putte, and maybe a little bittersweet. At the midpoint of President Barrack Obama’s final term, with Obama still deeply unpopular in Texas, she ran against Republican Dan Patrick for lieutenant governor in 2014 and lost. Within weeks of the general election, she’d entered the contest for San Antonio mayor, which she lost to Ivy Taylor in a June 2015 runoff. Van de Putte’s timing was off.

Like Barberena said, elections are complicated. To whatever degree being a woman helped Rodriguez, how much will that matter in a runoff election where the odds are on Elizondo’s side? Without exciting races higher on the ballot, fewer voters will show up at the polls a second time. And low turnout elections generally favor candidates with solid name recognition and lots of campaign funds. That’s Elizondo

sponsorship of the anti-cyberbullying David’s Law, named for Alamo Heights teen David Molak who was hounded by cyberbullies and committed suicide in early 2016. Texas Monthly named her “Rookie of the Year,” noting, “She didn’t take the microphone often during debates, but when she did, her words had power.”

A quick read between the lines: Not a grandstander or aggressive self-promoter.

“When I was elected, there was a lot of scrutiny because there was this perception that I hadn’t paid my dues – because I hadn’t served on the city council, for example,” Minjarez said. “Had I been a man, I don’t think I would’ve been subjected to that kind of scrutiny. As women, we are always under the microscope. I always want to be prepared and ready to work 10 times as hard.”

If you take from her comments the idea that, because of the pressure of meeting these higher expectations, women in politics have to stick together no matter what – she’s not saying that. In House District 116, Democrat Trey Martinez Fischer beat incumbent Diana Arevalo by 115 votes in the primary. Minjarez endorsed him over her.

It was a weird situation. Martinez Fischer had held the seat for 16 years but gave it up to run unsuccessfully for the Texas Senate. He’d been a master tactician for the Democratic minority in the Texas House, sometimes able to kill major bills on technicalities. After last year’s session, which produced Senate Bill 4 and its fierce crackdown on illegal immigrants and sanctuary cities, Minjarez said Democrats needed Martinez Fischer back on the floor.

Saturday afternoon, Arevalo was clearing – though as Rodriguez noted, 55 percent out her campaign headquarters. She said of Democratic primary voters did want new she’d called Martinez Fischer the day before blood.

A common theme in interviews with female to congratulate him on his victory, and that she wanted to help unify the district. candidates, officeholders, and campaign “My opponent ran, and he’d held the seat consultants was this: The first rule of for 16 years… I don’t know what else there Women’s Club is there is no Women’s Club. is to say,” Arevalo said. “I’m proud of the Don’t make a big deal out of being a campaign we ran.” woman.

Arevalo’s outcome notwithstanding, Latina “With identity politics, you have to be candidates had a breakthrough primary careful,” said State Rep. Ina Minjarez, season, especially in races for Congress. who steam-rolled a male challenger in the Democratic primary with 78 percent of the Texas has never sent a Latina to Capitol Hill, but after March 6, two stand a good vote – one of the highest totals among chance of being sworn in next year. In heavily state lawmakers in contested primaries.

Democratic districts, former El Paso County “I’m really engaged in the community. I’m Judge Veronica Escobar won the party’s always at community meetings … I run nomination to replace Beto O’Rourke in the on my qualifications and what I’ve done U.S. House, and State Sen. Sylvia Garcia in for [House District 124]. You have to be careful with identity politics because there Houston beat six rivals for the seat of retiring Congressman Gene Green. could be a backlash.”

Texas’s 2018 midterm primary was the Winning office in an April 2015 special first in the country. Expect similar stories election, Minjarez finished her first full term to play out across the United States in the in the Texas House last year with more weeks ahead. than 20 amendments to her credit and co-

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‘Common Currents’

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Since 1958, the San Antonio Folk Dance Festival has served as a OUR TOP PICKS FOR THE WEEK showcase for performing arts groups in and around the Alamo City. Founded by Nelda Guerrero Drury, the festival returns in its 60th year with four days of workshops, a Hawaiian luau and two concerts on the grounds THU-SUN of Our Lady of the Lake University. This is a landmark year for the festival as Guerrero Drury celebrates her 100th birthday. A former international dance instructor at San Antonio College and a 2010 inductee into the San Antonio Women’s Hall of Fame, Guerrero Drury is a pivotal figure within the local arts community. As an official Tricentennial partner event, Friday night’s concert will focus on San Antonio’s Hispanic heritage through performances by Ballet Folklórico South Texas College, Flamenco Arts Society of San Antonio (featuring the renowned Champion family) and the pre-professional dance troupes Alamotion and Fandango. Saturday night’s concert promises a more international flair with performances by Gazelle Turkish Folk Dance Group and Csárdás Hungarian Dancers, among others. For a full list of events and performances visit safdf.org. $10-$120, dance workshops Thu-Sun, International Folk Culture Center; concerts 8pm Fri, 7:30pm Sat, Thiry Auditorium, Our Lady of the Lake University, 411 SW 24th St., (210) 434-6711, safdf.org. — Marco Aquino

ART

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CARMEN CARTINESS JOHNSON

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BRIAN FORREST, HAMMER MUSEUM, LOS ANGELES

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ART +TALKS As part of its mission to address gender imbalance in the art world and highlight “the PLUS achievements of women artists of all periods and nationalities,” Washington D.C.’s National Museum of Women in the Arts launched the social media campaign #5WomenArtists during Women’s History Month in 2016.

In essence a test of knowledge (can you name five women artists?), the campaign zeroes in on women artists of color this year, reinforced with a broadening network of nearly THU+TUE 400 participating organizations and museums, including the San Antonio Museum of Art. Kicked off Tuesday with a spotlight on African-American artist Martine Syms’ video installation Laughing Gas, which the museum acquired earlier this year, SAMA’s #5WomenArtists series Women’s History Month at SAMA continues with a lunchtime tour focusing on works by Latina artists Margarita Cabrera and Irma Palacios ($5, 12:30-1pm Thu); a discussion with Spanish artist Maider López, whose videos, performance works and installations often interrupt “norms in space and architecture” (free, 6:30-7:30pm Tue); and a gallery talk highlighting the work of Terrell James, a Houston-based abstract painter represented in the museum’s collection ($5, 6:30-7pm Tue). San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave., (210) 978-8100, samuseum.org. — BR

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ACADEMY OF SERBIAN DANCING

If you haven’t taken the time to experience the THU four “Common Currents” exhibitions that have already opened this year, you’re missing out on some of the more memorable artistic highlights of the Tricentennial.

Billed as a “crowdsourced collaborative visual and performing arts exhibition,” the series unites six venues (Artpace, Blue Star Contemporary, Southwest School of Art, the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center, the Carver Community Cultural Center and the Mexican Cultural Institute) and nearly 300 artists, each of whom was given a specific year in San Antonio history to use as creative inspiration. Giving the project an unpredictable charm, nearly every artist was invited into the fold by fellow participants in a “chain letter-inspired” format.

With 1718-1917 already in the bag, the Carver is set to unveil the penultimate piece of the puzzle.

Promising eclectic interpretations of Alamo City life between 1918 and 1967, the group show brings together works by spoken-word artist/vocalist Andrea “Vocab” Sanderson (1927), painter/sculptor Rolando Briseño (1932), photographer Jorge Villareal (1940), multimedia artist Carmen Cartiness Johnson (1943), fashion designer Agosto Cuellar (1957) and more than 40 others. Free, 6-8pm, Carver Community Cultural Center, 226 N. Hackberry St., (210) 207-7211, thecarver.org. — Bryan Rindfuss

San Antonio Folk Dance Festival

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ACADEMY OF SERBIAN DANCING

FRI-SUN Since its Broadway premiere in 2014, the Tony-nominated musical If/Then has received mixed reviews and reminded many theater-goers of the 1998 film Sliding Doors, in which Gwyneth Paltrow inhabits parallel realities. Penned by the Pulitzer winning team of Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey (Next to Normal), the nontraditional play follows Elizabeth Vaughn, a recently divorced, 38-year-old urban design professor who returns home to New York City in search of a new life. Instead she finds two lives: one as Liz, who starts a family with an Army doctor; and one as Beth, who lands a high-powered job as an urban planner. Peppered with poppy power ballads first performed by Idina Menzel, the theatrical meditation on roads not taken can be tricky to follow since the only distinguishing difference between the two characters is that Liz wears glasses and Beth does not. Humorously dissed by critics as “a Lifetime movie — or two Lifetime movies spliced together” (Ben Brantley for The New York Times) and a “Wonder Bread story about a middle-class professional inhabiting a mythically sparkling and crime-free Manhattan” (Deborah Klugman for LA Weekly), If/Then lands at the Public Theater in a production directed by Molly Cox and starring Stephanie Genito. $15-$35, 7:30pm Fri-Sat, 2pm Sun through April 8, The Public Theater of San Antonio, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258, thepublicsa.org. — BR THEATER

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Made in SA: A Tricentennial Film Series In celebration of San Antonio’s 300th anniversary, Texas Public Radio, in partnership with the San Antonio Film Commission and Slab Cinema, will kick off their Tricentennial film series on March 17 with a screening of the silent war film Wings, which won the first-ever Academy Award for Best Picture in 1929.

The film stars Charles “Buddy” Rogers and Richard Arlen as two rival combat pilots in love with the same woman, played by actress Clara Bow. Some major aerial scenes from the film were shot at Fort Sam Houston, forever cementing the start of San Antonio’s longstanding relationship with Hollywood productions. According to historian Frank Thompson’s book Texas Hollywood: Filmmaking in San Antonio since 1910, San Antonio was home to the very first movie studio. Thompson will be on hand after the screening to talk about the production history of the World War I drama. The Tricentennial series will continue through May with two more screenings of San Antonio productions. On March 20, FILM

Miss Congeniality will screen at the Arneson River Theater. The 2000 comedy stars Sandra Bullock as an FBI special agent who goes undercover as a beauty pageant contestant to unmask a domestic terrorist. Then on May 9, Selena will have fans of the 1997 biopic doing the washing machine at Central Library. The popular movie features actress/singer Jennifer Lopez in her breakout role as late tejano superstar Selena Quintanilla, who was murdered at the pinnacle of her career at the age of 23. While the Tricentennial film series has been limited to three films, local cinephiles can supplement the series with their own screenings of the countless other movies shot in San Antonio over the last 100 years. Director Tim Burton might’ve only been in San Antonio for a single day to shoot one scene downtown for his 1985 comedy SAT+TUE Pee-wee’s Big Adventure,

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but San Antonians will forever link the classic movie to the Alamo City. Let’s also not forget comedian Jim Carrey squeezed himself out of the butt of a robotic rhino here in SA in 1995’s Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, or that iconic director Steven Spielberg shot part of his 1974 crime drama The Sugarland Express in the area.

Then, of course, there are more titles like All the Pretty Horses, Cloak & Dagger, Toy Soldiers, Johnny Be Good, Battleship and many others that set up shop in SA for at least part of their production. San Antonio may have taken a step back in the last century as a filmmaking hub, but with new incentives recently kicking in for productions shooting in the Alamo City, the local moviemaking community is holding out hope for more attention from Hollywood studios in the near future.

Free, Wings: 7pm Sat, Fort Sam Houston Quadrangle, 892 Hood St. (main gate); Miss Congeniality: 7pm Tue, La Villita, Arneson River Theater, 418 Villita St., tpr.org. tpr.org – Kiko Martinez

PARAMOUNT PICTURES

Although he’s among the FRI-SAT most famous saints of all time, St. Patrick remains somewhat buried under his namesake holiday’s bells and whistles — green beer, leprechauns and sloppy drunks included. Born in Roman Britain (not Ireland) near the end of the fourth century, Patrick was kidnapped as a teen

by Irish pagans and enslaved on the Emerald Isle, where he spent six lonely years tending to a flock of sheep. After his eventual escape, he became ordained as a priest and returned to Ireland as a missionary, erecting churches and eventually converting the entire island to Christianity. Patron Saint of Ireland, Australia, Nigeria and Montserrat — and almost everywhere else come March 17 — Patrick is believed to have used a handy three-leafed shamrock to explain the holy Trinity to the pagans. Worldwide celebrations take little of this into account, opting instead to indulge in the cultural hallmarks (and stereotypes) of St. Paddy’s adopted home.

Inaugurated back in 1968, San Antonio’s St. Patrick’s Day River Parade & Festival brings revelers to the heart of downtown to behold the Paseo del Rio as it’s transformed into the “River Shannon” thanks to 25 gallons of green dye. In addition to a bagpipe-fueled procession featuring 14 festively decorated floats (4-6pm Sat), the 50th annual celebration includes an artisan show, an Irish food court, a “Passport to Ireland” exhibit organized by the Harp & Shamrock Society, live music and dance performances at the Arneson River Theatre, games of hot potato, an audience-judged “nice knees” contest for ladies 18 and up, gold coin hunts for kiddos and a tater tot eating contest. Free, noon-8pm Fri-Sat, La Villita, 418 Villita St., 227-4262, thesanantonioriverwalk.com. — BR SPECIAL EVENT

JEREMY WHITTINGTON

St. Patrick’s Day River Parade & Festival

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CULTURE

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SPURS SPORTS & ENTERTAINMENT

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Known to blur boundaries between the art and culinary worlds, Wisconsin-born artist and curator John Riepenhoff has crafted beers based on works of art and once served New York gallery-goers Every Bean Chili (an ambitious concoction combining all 104 of the world’s edible beans) garnished with Double Cream Colby, a cheese he created in collaboration with Clock Shadow Creamery. Inspired by both Riepenhoff’s edible art projects and “Hold My Beer,” his local exhibition with Milwaukee transplant Nicholas Frank, Sala Diaz invited a dozen artists, chefs and home cooks — from FL!GHT Gallery founder Justin Parr and Contemporary Art Month co-chair Chris Sauter to chef Brooke Smith of The Esquire Tavern and restaurateur Chad Carey — to face off in a good old-fashioned chili cook-off benefiting the beloved Southtown gallery’s programming.

Furthering the cross-cultural pollination, current Artpace residents Carlos Rosales-Silva (Austin), Rafa Esparza (Los Angeles) and Kapwani Kiwanga (Paris) will judge the dishes, which can be topped with Riepenhoff’s decadent SUN Double Cream Colby. $10, 2-6pm, Sala Diaz, 517 Stieren St., (972) 900-0047, saladiazart.org. — BR SPECIAL EVENT

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JOHN RIEPENHOFF

Sala Diaz Chili Cook-off

View from Above TERRY VIRTS

SUN

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Spurs vs. Warriors

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The Briscoe Western Art Museum’s third annual Native Film Series continues with a double feature pairing the 2007 short TUE film Comancheria and the 2014 documentary LaDonna Harris: Indian 101. “Comancheria” is the name commonly given to the Comancheoccupied area in New Mexico and West Texas in the 19th century. Directed by Marthe Thorshaug, the short captures a group of Comanches as they prepare for a sweat lodge, a native ritual that can be described as a ceremonial sauna held for cleansing and purification. Dr. Dustin Tahmahkera, curator of the film series, described the film as “an alternative to Hollywood’s kwitopu (bullshit) archives of Indians.” In LaDonna Harris, filmmaker Julianna Brannum explores the life of the title character, a Comanche activist and civil rights leader who has worked at the grassroots level with native and women’s groups since the 1960s. Harris was named an honorary co-chair of the Women’s March on Washington last year. In 2012, she made actor Johnny Depp an honorary member of the Comanche Nation during a traditional ceremony at her home. Since Depp was cast to play Tonto in the film version of The Lone Ranger, Harris called it a “natural fit.”

Free, 6:30pm, Briscoe Western Art Museum, 210 W. Market St., (210) 299-4499, briscoemuseum.org. – KM FILM

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NARU MUI FILMS

Back in the 1981-82 NBA season, when Michael Ray Richardson uttered the famous line, “The ship be sinking,” his New York Knicks closed out their regular season campaign with a record of 33-49. While things are nowhere near as dire in San Antonio, the recent stretch of adversity feels like uncharted waters for Spurs faithful, who have grown accustomed to unwavering success with Gregg Popovich at the helm. Although San Antonio’s recent dip in the standings can be directly attributed to injuries to key personnel, the precipitous decline NBA pundits predicted when Tim Duncan retired appears to have finally arrived for the Spurs. As any team would struggle without their best player for extended stretches, a healthy Kawhi Leonard shifts the narrative. Leonard hasn’t been the same player since last season’s Western Conference Finals versus the Warriors, who arrive in San Antonio poised for yet another deep playoff run. Look for Dejounte Murray and San Antonio’s other young guns to continue to make the most of their extended time on the court. $69-$1,053, 8:30pm, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center Pkwy., (210) 444-5000, attcenter.com. — M. Solis MON SPORTS

SPURS SPORTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Perspective is a powerful but tricky thing. It’s powerful in that it can entirely alter our understanding of our own lives and/or facets of them, and it’s tricky in that it often falls into the category of the unknown. National Geographic’s View from Above, a book that has evolved into a traveling talk accompanied by stunning visuals, is all about fostering perspective. Sunday’s presentation, which will be delivered by NASA astronaut and former International Space Station (ISS) Commander Terry Virts, specifically looks to inject perspective into our view of Earth and the life on it, including our own. As Virts takes attendees on a journey through breathtaking stills and videos (many of which he himself captured) from the ISS, the effect is sublime: a mix of awe and feelings of smallness. Viewed from above, the thesis goes, it’s impossible not to see all life on Earth as deeply interconnected and overwhelmingly beautiful. The hope is that perhaps this perspective can help foster a strong sense of global togetherness and environmental stewardship. $20-$45, 4pm, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, H-E-B Performance Hall, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org. — James Courtney SPECIAL EVENT

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ART ”Reclaimed” Featuring 25 monochromatic

works from the Linda Pace Foundation’s permanent collection, this exhibition represents some of the most important female artists of our day. Thematically, “Reclaimed” is concerned with “the notion of ‘reclaiming’ what’s ours, from our lands and governments to our physical bodies and basic human rights.” As such, it fits perfectly (if slyly) into the context of cultural/historical interrogation that the Tricentennial has, in the best of cases, helped foster. On Sunday at noon, “Reclaimed” comes to light through a discussion with artist Lara Schnitger, curator Justine Ludwig and journalist Sarah Fisch. Free, noon-5pm WednesdaySaturday (artist talk noon-2pm Sunday); SPACE, 111 Camp St., (210) 227-8400.

”San Antonio 1718: Art from Viceregal Mexico” Presented in collaboration with

Mexico’s Instituto Nacional de Antropología e Historia (INAH), SAMA’s Tricentennial exhibition “San Antonio 1718: Art from Viceregal Mexico” tells the story of the city’s first century through more than 100 landscapes, portraits, narrative paintings, sculptures, and devotional and decorative objects, many of them never before exhibited in the U.S. On Sunday at 2pm, University of New Mexico art history professor Ray Hernández-Durán will shed light on the language of 18th-century colonial portraiture, its social function, and its relationship to the Bourbon reforms that transformed Novo-hispanic society. $8-$15, 10am-5pm Wednesday-Thursday, 10am-9pm Friday, 10am-5pm SaturdaySunday (“Fashioning the Self in the Age of Bourbon Reform” 2pm Sunday), 10am-9pm Tuesday; San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave., (210) 978-8100.

”Something to Say” “Something to Say:

The McNay Presents 100 Years of African American Art” marks the museum’s first survey of modern and contemporary African-American art. Encouraging a thoughtful consideration of the plurality of African-American experience and expression, the exhibit represents the McNay’s ongoing commitment to “equity, inclusion, and social consciousness as well as artistic excellence.” $15-$20, 10am-4pm Wednesday, 10am-9pm Thursday, 10am-4pm Friday, 10am-5pm Saturday, noon-5pm Sunday, 10am-4pm Tuesday; McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368.

Sister Solidarity 3 & Comadre’s Market: Manitas in Action Timed with the release

of the Comadres Economies workbook, this third annual event brings together working-

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class women, artisans, and entrepreneurs for a group show and market featuring performances by AMEA and Polly Anna and DJ sets from Chulita Vinyl Club. Free, 6-9pm Saturday; The Movement Gallery, 1412 E. Commerce St., (210) 299-2666.

FILM Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron In

conjunction with its Lil Partners Spring Break Flicks series, the Briscoe screens the 2002 animated adventure about a wild stallion that gets captured by humans and slowly loses the will to resist training. Free, 10:30am Wednesday; Briscoe Western Art Museum, 210 W. Market St., (210) 299-4499.

Back to the Future Part III The Briscoe’s kid-

centric series continues with a screening of Robert Zemeckis’ 1990 sci-fi Western following Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) back to 1885 to prevent Dr. Emmett “Doc” Brown (Christopher Lloyd) from getting killed

by Buford “Mad Dog” Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson). Free, 10:30am Thursday; Briscoe Western Art Museum, 210 W. Market St., (210) 299-4499.

Gulliver’s Travels As part of its Movies in

the Garden series, Villa Finale hosts a free outdoor screening of the 1939 animated film about an explorer who washes ashore on Lilliput and attempts to prevent war between that tiny kingdom and its equally minuscule rival, Blefuscu. Guests are invited to bring lawn chairs and blankets to the screening, which includes popcorn and lemonade. Free, 7-8:30pm Friday; Villa Finale, 401 King William St., (210) 223-9800.

Mischief & Cry-Baby Video Dungeon

Theatre presents a retro double feature pairing the 1985 teen comedy Mischief (starring Doug McKeon as a shy high schooler in 1950s-era Ohio) and John Waters’ 1990 musical rom-com CryBaby, starring Johnny Depp as a teen rebel living in 1950s-era Baltimore. Free, 9pm-1am Thursday, Oak Hills Tavern, 7920 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 614-8855.

THEATER Artisinal Gibberish with Tobias the Adequate Recommended for “immature

adults,” the Overtime’s latest promises “dubious poetry, stand-up philosophy and at least three reasons why you should take less than six years to graduate from a state college.” $5, 9pm Friday-Saturday; The Overtime Theater, 5409 Bandera Road, (210) 557-7562.

Bless Me, Ultima Dogeared copies of Rudolfo Anaya’s Bless Me, Ultima adorn many a bookshelf, and now San Antonians have an opportunity to see it rendered live on stage.

For the latest installment of the Classic

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Theater of San Antonio’s 10th anniversary season, director José Ruben Dé León turns the spotlight on Latinx culture with an adaptation of Anaya’s groundbreaking portrait of the Chicano experience in America. Growing up in rural New Mexico in the 1940s, Antonio Márez must navigate the divide between his mother’s religiosity and father’s aggressive masculinity. While Dante had Virgil as a guide, Antonio has Ultima, a curandera that comes to live with his family during his childhood. Under Ultima’s protection, Antonio comes of age in a town fraught with conflict, waging the battle of good and evil in the microcosm of his small community. $17-$32, 8pm ThursdaySaturday, 3pm Sunday; The Classic Theatre of San Antonio, 1924 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 589-8450.

On Your Feet! Since bursting onto the music

scene in 1985 with the hit single, “Conga,” Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine, which includes her husband and record producer Emilio Estefan, created a blueprint for future generations of Latin pop singers. Blending Afro-Caribbean rhythms with a modern pop sensibility, the Estefans celebrated their CubanAmerican roots and arose as one of the most successful crossover acts of all time.

Along with a string of chart-topping hits, the couple has played an important role producing and managing other acts, from Jennifer Lopez to Shakira. Based on the Estefans and their music, the hit Broadway musical On Your Feet! lands at the Majestic for a six-day run under the direction of Tony winner Jerry Mitchell (Kinky Boots).

From Havana to Miami, the musical follows the Estefans’ journey to international superstardom set to hits like “Rhythm Is Gonna Get You,” “Don’t Wanna Lose You” and “Reach.” $35-$85, 7:30pm WednesdayFriday, 2pm & 8pm Saturday, 2pm & 7:30pm Sunday; The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333.

COMEDY Shane Torres A Fort Worth native living

in New York, stand-up and writer Shane

Torres was named one of Comedy Central’s Comics to Watch in 2012, competed on NBC’s Last Comic Standing in 2014 and made his late-night debut on Conan in 2016. $17, 8:30pm Thursday, 8pm & 10:15pm Friday-Saturday, 8pm Sunday; Improv San Antonio, 849 E. Commerce St., (210) 229-1420.

SPECIAL EVENTS A Tribute to Ella Fitzgerald The San

Antonio Symphony, Metropolitan opera star Harolyn Blackwell and vocalists Aisha de Haas and Capathia Jenkins honor the “First Lady of Song” with a program featuring Great American Songbook classics such as “It Don’t Mean a Thing, If It Ain’t Got That Swing,” “How High the Moon,” “Blue Skies” and “Bewitched.” $12.50-$81, 8pm Friday; Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624.

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Fest of Tails The San Antonio Parks

Foundation’s 12th annual celebration of kites and dogs combines food, live music, arts and crafts, carnival attractions, games, a kite-making workshop and a pooch parade. Guests are encouraged to bring blankets and lawn chairs to enjoy the spectacular air show featuring colorful kites. Fest of Tails also includes pet adoptions courtesy of San Antonio Pets Alive. Free, 9am-4pm Saturday; McAllister Park, 13102 Jones Maltsberger Road, (210) 207-7275.

CITY OF SAN ANTONIO

DEPARTMENT FOR CULTURE & CREATIVE DEVELOPMENT

Girl Power Hour Mixer A monthly

meet-up group for “girl bosses, creatives, and entrepreneurs” in the San Antonio area, Girl Power Hour sets up shop at La Roca for a mixer featuring a presentation on “changing the perceptions of women in the workplace.” Free, 7-9pm Wednesday; La Roca Cantina, 416 8th St.

Lick of the Irish: 69 Class Sexology

leads an interactive, hands-on (props) 69 workshop covering oral tricks along with specific anatomy and other skills for the best positions. $10-$15, 11am Saturday; Sexology Institute and Boutique, 707 S. St. Mary’s St., (210) 487-0371.

Michelada Mania! Drink slingers from

La Gloria, Frutería, Burgerteca and Villa Rica face off in a michelada throwdown. $10, 1-5pm Sunday; La Gloria at Dominion, 21819 I-10 W, (210) 265-3315.

San Patricio’s Batallion St. Patrick’s Celebration Local musician Mike

Ryan and his new project San Patricio’s Batallion celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with authentic Irish, folk and Tex-Mex tunes, plus visual art displays. Free, 9pm-1am Saturday; Brick at Blue Star, 108 Blue Star, (210) 262-8653. sacurrent.com • March 14-20, 2018 • CURRENT 27

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ARTS + CULTURE

Demanding a Seat at the Table

COURTESY CWA/KRISTIN G

ALEJANDRA GONZALEZ

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Last year, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio presented the city’s museums and arts boards with some startling numbers on diversity, or the lack thereof, among museum staff. De Blasio, who threatened to strip funding from arts organizations that didn’t prioritize diversifying their staff, sent a wake-up call not only to the arts leadership of New York, but to museums, galleries and exhibition spaces across the country. Though San Antonio

Creative Women’s Alliance aims to empower underrepresented artists hasn’t faced the same level of demand from city officials to address these issues in the city’s arts and cultural communities, the impacts of a non-diverse group of arts decision-makers has caused a disruption in recent years.

A group of San Antonio women is working to overcome to these challenges.

Claudia Zapata, a San Antonio artist and Southern Methodist University Ph.D candidate, and Artpace Executive Director Veronique Le Melle, along with seven other women active in the local arts community, recently formed the Creative Women’s Alliance. The organization

is dedicated to equipping women artists of color with the tools, lessons and resources they need to compete for exhibition space, grants, residencies and recognition.

Rounded out by graphic designer Isabel Ann Castro, consultant and curator Chris Davila, self-portrait artist and Más Rudas co-founder Mari Hernandez, artist and entrepreneur Ana Fernandez, Más Rudas co-founder Kristin G., Artpace teen programs coordinator Ashley Mireles and Southwest School of Art young artists programs director Patricia Morales, the Creative Women’s Alliance aims to prepare the next generation of minority women to challenge sacurrent.com • March 14-20, 2018 • CURRENT 29

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the structure that’s placed arts leadership in the hands of their white, male peers.

Le Melle arrived in San Antonio on the heels of what she calls a “breach in the city’s artist community,” when an SA2020 panel titled “Diversity and Inclusion in the Arts” generated controversy for neglecting to include a Latina artist in the discussion.

Ironically, that panel arose from a Contemporary Art Month exhibition that got canceled after the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center pulled out as host venue because of the show’s lack of Latina representation.

“After a couple of months of complaints, we saw no action,” Le Melle says. So she decided to channel her and others’ frustrations into something productive for artists who are not represented in the city’s more mainstream exhibitions and events.

While foregoing terms like “leader” (Le Melle believes that artists should be their own leaders) and “mentor,” the group hopes to guide a community of underrepresented creative professionals — from emerging artists to aspiring museum directors — to develop their voices and demand a seat at the table.

In a 2017 report by the American Alliance of Museums, a survey of 100 museum directors and 841 museum board and chair members across the nation found that 93 percent of museum board directors, 92.6 percent of museum chair

members and 89.3 percent of museum board members identified as Caucasian, while only 2 percent of museum directors identified as Black/African American and only 3 percent identified as Hispanic or Latino. Those numbers were even lower for museum directors who identified as Asian, American Indian/Alaskan Native or Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander, which made up 0.7 percent, 1 percent and 0.4 percent, respectively. The numbers for chairs and board members who identified as anything other than Caucasian were also devastatingly low compared to those who identified as white.

The survey also found that 46 percent of all museum boards in the U.S. are 100 percent white — a number that 64 percent of museum directors and 42 percent of museum chairs are “extremely or somewhat unsatisfied” with.

So why aren’t museums diversifying their leadership? That question is at the heart of what the Creative Women’s Alliance is determined to address, beginning with women looking to start their art careers in San Antonio.

During her tenure at Artpace, Le Melle says she’s seen a unique weakness among San Antonio’s budding artists: They don’t know how to defend their work.

The ability to fluidly articulate one’s ideas and intersectionalities is a skill that takes

practice — one that benefits from being challenged, questioned and critiqued.

At times, that skill is the key to landing a residency or exhibition. It’s also a skill the Creative Women’s Alliance promises to hone during forthcoming workshops dedicated to networking, communication and crafting writer’s statements. “They can have all the correct letters behind their name — BFA, MFA — but that doesn’t mean they’re ready as an artist,” Le Melle says.

She makes a strong point. Earning a degree in art or art history doesn’t guarantee a finessed resume or translate into a museum job or inclusion in exhibitions. Of the three Bachelor of Fine Arts programs offered in San Antonio — through the University of Texas at San Antonio, Trinity University and the Southwest School of Art — only the Southwest School of Art’s degree plan includes courses on professionalism, a mandatory class at both the junior and senior level. Though UTSA’s Master of Fine Arts program offers a Graduate Studies Seminar and MFA Exhibition courses, the practical skills needed to become a working artist often take a back seat to technique and creativity.

What we need, Zapata says, is to demand more. While she admits that “San Antonio does a good job [with] artist talks and programs,” one-time events don’t leave

much of a lasting impression. And without criticism, “you have no documentation, and then it’s like those artists and their work never existed.”

For Kristin G., it’s important to “‘arm’ women artists with the tools they need … so they are so geared up and ready for that art world, that they can’t be missed, because they are empowered to create, apply to art opportunities, and ready to share and talk about their artwork.” At its core, the Creative Women’s Alliance is all about establishing a network of women that will “provide avenues of inspiration [and] collaboration and support professional opportunities” within the city’s arts community.

Moving forward, Creative Women’s Alliance workshops and discussions will focus on topics ranging from social media and documentation to networking, taxes and legal aspects of the art world. After an initial mixer where the organizers met to discuss workshop topics, “local [women artists of color] told us what they needed,” Kristin G. says, “and our workshop series was born.”

For details on upcoming Creative Women’s Alliance workshops and events, stay tuned to @creativewomensalliance on Facebook and Instagram.

sacurrent.com • March 14-20, 2018 • CURRENT 31

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Over the last few years, there's been a saturation in Hollywood of young-adult dystopian films adapted from young-adult dystopian novels. While the teen-admired subgenre has been overdone, it has managed to withstand any fallout from the repetition by creating occasionally original sci-fi narratives, justifying another take on totalitarianism.

As thematically similar as mainstream franchises like The Maze Runner and Divergent are — not to mention one-offs, including Never Let Me Go, The Giver and Ender’s Game — it’s evident that these movies have a built-in fan base hungry for the next Hunger Games.

That’s good news for comparable, albeit much smaller, independent projects looking for the same type of audience.

Stage V, a film directed and co-written by San Antonio-based moviemaker Buddy Calvo, executive-produced by former San Antonio Spurs forward Boris Diaw

San Antonio production Stage V lacks distinct personality as dystopian teen drama and shot on location in San Antonio, falls loosely under that category. But it lacks a distinct personality, making it difficult to consider it anything more than an uninspired imitation.

Stage V, which at times feels like a zombie movie without the zombies, begins like many other end-of-days films do. A deadly virus has spread worldwide, killing most of the population. The kids between the ages of 6 and 19, who are facing the inevitable extinction of the human race, are left to fend for themselves. John (Julian Curi) and his girlfriend Mallory (Noell Coet) are part of this group of young survivors.

Living in a shelter among other children and teenagers, they know what their future holds, but refuse to spend their last days on Earth in fear.

At the top of the shelter’s hierarchy is Steven (Jack McGuiness, whose performance ranges from loud to louder), a merciless, gun-toting teen who rules the sanctuary with an iron fist. When John, Mallory and new refugee Dennis (Dominyck McCargo) decide it’s much too dangerous to stay at the camp any longer, the trio ventures out on their own, accidentally taking with them a large amount of “juice,” a special serum that keeps them temporarily healthy. Enraged by the group’s desertion and unintentional theft, Steven and his right-hand-man

Cesar (Jesse King) pursue them with cruel intentions.

Once John, Mallory and Dennis leave the shelter, the Stage V screenplay starts hitting major snags. Without a concrete plan in mind for their characters, Calvo and co-writer Richard Dane Scott (Champion) lose all momentum as the narrative turns from a survivor’s story into an aimless excursion void of believable scenarios.

This includes Calvo and Scott’s attempt to create alliances when their protagonists break into what they think is an abandoned home and meet three other kids — Olivia (Christine Lekas), her little brother Oscar (Holden Jahn) and their friend Brandon (Anthony Bosmans II), who is exposed as an abusive adversary.

When the group expands from three members to five (Dennis decides to leave on his own, although later in the film he admits he never wanted to die alone), relationships become unclear and

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the script turns into a handful of dialogueheavy, melodramatic and ultimately hollow scenes where the characters share their innermost feelings, but don’t reveal anything of much substance that would lead audiences to believe they truly care for one another.

While Calvo does have a cinematic eye and should be credited with making some bold decisions, especially in terms of the unapologetic violence against children in the film, something many of the aforementioned dystopian, PG-13-rated films would never have the guts to do, Stage V is short on unique and inventive ideas. Technically speaking, Calvo has the talent. He has much to be desired, however, as a storyteller.

Stage V is currently available on a handful of streaming platforms, including iTunes, Amazon and Comcast.

sacurrent.com • March 14-20, 2018 • CURRENT 33

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Seven years after launching Rocker Dogz, a punk-rock street cart that served loaded hot dogs, chef Kris Martinez is finally home.

Now the head chef at The Dogfather, a concept opened last November by Jenn Alva and Jamie Hoppe of The Bang Bang Bar, Martinez is dishing out the same dogs that made him a household name for bargoers at the late Pedicab Bar on Cevallos back in 2011.

For those unfamiliar, the chef has been cooking for the better half of his life, including a stint as an on-the-road tour caterer for the likes of Warped Tour, where he cooked out

Parmesan and fresh herbs or the Mushroom Kingdom with white wine and herb sautéed ’shrooms, caramelized onions and Swizz cheese.

The Elote Dog with namesake corn has its own fans, as does The Rebel, essentially a Mexican-inspired chili dog with onions, cilantro, mustard and Martinez’s awardwinning borracho chili that’s a balance of sweet, spicy and savory.

Though a burger of the week is offered, the dogs that keep this writer coming back are the board specials. The rotating cast of doggies, with everything from the Takis-topped Ratchet to the Frito Pie Dog and The Guac Dog is when Martinez and co. really have fun. The former contained texture from said hot Takis and crunchy Fritos, respectively, which in turn make these dogs some of the most San Antonian bites in the city. The latter was a creamy mix of refried beans and guacamole, piped using a starburst tip that added thoughtfulness to the already-tasty dogs.

Aside from one dry bun during a recent visit, The Dogfather has nailed casual dining from its food to its service, which deserves its own nod. The staff of five rotating, front-of-house members has made each experience pleasant with their friendly hellos, their warmth and hospitableness.

Floored by the professionalism coming out of a hot dog joint, I called general manager Spencer Pearson to chat about his staffing Dogz’s fandom returned every time the chef guidelines. Pearson, whose background is in retail management, tries to lead by example. popped up at a different location for good “If you’re clear about setting that bar reason. The dogz were creative, fresh, detailup front, you can model the example as a driven, and not just bar food. leader running it,” Pearson said. “The rest of It was the end of an era when Martinez the staff follows suit. Our focus is building finally sold his stickered cart last year. But after spending time at Pugel’s as head chef, relationships with people that come in, get to know them, make them comfortable, make Martinez hooked up with Hoppe and Alva, it a place where people can hang out. It’s and the rest is history. not just about pushing buttons on an iPad The casual San Pedro spot features a and walking food out.” mix of old — the Thai and Bella are back, Between an excellent staff and Martinez’s obviously — and new, with dogs like the tricked-out tots and dogs, I’m betting this Italian-inspired Hitman where Martinez San Pedro outpost will stick around for can stretch his legs with beef Bolognese, years to come. crushed red pepper, melted mozzarella,

With The Dogfather, one of San Anto’s own finally finds permanent home

of 18-wheeler mobile kitchens for more than 600 people at a time. Back in San Antonio, Martinez was the banquet chef for Sunset Station, pushing the boundary with nitrogen margaritas and other treats.

With Rocker Dogz, Martinez became known for now-classics such as The Thai Rocker Dog with sweet chili glaze, Thai red cabbage slaw and topped with cilantro-mint lime sesame vinaigrette, and the Bella Blue, made with a red wine reduction and bleu cheese sauce.

There have been plenty of false starts.

Locations that went un-leased, partners who used Martinez’s recipes after the chef had parted ways with the business. Still, Rocker

The Dogfather 6211 San Pedro Ave., (210) 481-4272 The Skinny: Busy San Pedro gained a new staple with The Dogfather where the hot dogs are the main event. Best Bet: Dog of the day, Thai Kickboxer, The Rebel Hours: 11am-midnight Sun-Thu, 11am-4am Fri-Sat Cost: $8-$10 for a dog, $7-$8 for sides

sacurrent.com • March 14-20, 2018 • CURRENT 37

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SAN ANTONIO NEEDS TO STOP SUCKING

Big The

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On straws, that is JESS ELIZARRARAS | @JESSELIZARRARAS

>

push, billed as “Strawless in Seattle” and organized by leading Seattle business and cultural icons, to eradicate straw use. The initiative removed 2.3 million throughout the month of September.

This isn’t Seattle. We’re don’t have the Puget Sound to clearly show us the impact of straw-happy crowds, nor do we have big business backing a straw-free lifestyle.

Instead, we have Attorney General Ken Paxton suing cities like Brownsville for their $1 plastic bag environmental fee. The lawsuit was dropped after the city agreed to amend the ordinance.

Locally, San Antonio struggles to get a plastic bag ban off the ground (but hey, we have reusable Selena bags!), and straws are technically considered trash with no chance of being recycled, according to Marcus Lee, a spokesperson for the city’s Solid Waste Management Department. To be fair, SWMD is still struggling with teaching the populace not to toss diapers into blue bins.

But three businesses are working on doing their part. At Revolucion Coffee + Juice, Angie and Manny Carral have used compostable to-go containers and glass juice bottles since opening in 2012. They switched over to clinky, stainless steel straws two years later. At around 100 smoothies or cold drinks ordered daily, the couple saves at least 2,800 straws a month.

It doesn’t come cheap or easy.

The Carrals know the math doesn’t add up. For $25, they could easily order a box of 2,000 plastic straws online. A box of 10 stainless steel straws runs them the same amount. Then there’s the maintenance.

“We wash, rinse, sanitize and use special brushes to clean them completely, like we would a plate in a restaurant,” Angie said.

Of the 100 straws they keep on hand, 30 or so end up walking out the door or getting accidentally trashed.

JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

I’m a sucker for straws. Blame it on my borderline addiction to iced coffee (or regular coffee for that matter). Blame it on growing up with a germophobe mom who gags at the sight of spots on dishes and poorly washed cups. Straws were our norm. We bought them in bulk and happily plucked them from their bin to suck down water, licuados, tea, soda, what have you.

Fast-forward 20-some odd years, and straws are still a huge part of my day-to-day drinking, whether it’s in the to-go cup picked up at the drive-thru, or the straw I chewed on while watching Black Panther, or the one in the glass of water servers dropped off at our table with breakfast/lunch/dinner.

The germ-averse sentiments linger.

Though most shops will have an industrial washing station that takes care of washing, rinsing and sanitizing glassware, I was still holding strong to my straw.

One tiny little plastic can’t be all that offensive, can it?

According to the National Parks Service, my idea of a tiny straw, and everybody else’s, usually totals 500 million straws used daily. And as we know from Facebook, these often end up in oceans clogging the nasal cavity of some already endangered sea turtles.

Straws have turned into a cause du jour, and the moment has picked up steam. In 2017, a group of students known as the Coral Keepers of Whitehall Middle School in Whitehall, Mich., created National Skip the Straw Day. The day celebrated its sophomore year this February 23.

The city of Seattle will enact a ban this July that mandates all businesses selling food and/or drink “must offer compostable or recyclable options — or ask patrons to forgo the tools altogether” per the Seattle Times. The ban was part of a large

At 5 Points Local, general manager Abby Johnson points to a bright green graphic with not-so-fun facts (“one person uses 38,000 straws in his whole life,” “it takes up to 200 years for a straw to degrade”) as to why the restaurant ditched conventional straws as of a month ago.

“I figured now was the time, even if it’s one little straw at a time,” Johnson said.

For Frances Lee, who opened Brew’s Lee Tea Station last November, providing an alternative to conventional straws has been a struggle. Lee offers silicone and bamboo straws for guests to purchase, but hoping they commit to the $9 additional charge for their take-home straw when customers are already paying $4.80-$8 for a split cup, which uses two straws, can be a bit of a

pipe dream.

“I cannot force them,” Lee said, while noting she’s working with local wheat farmers to develop a cost-effective alternative within the next few months.

Still, she’s aware of the contribution the tasty drinks make to the straw problem, and that’s half the battle.

I’m trying to suck less these days. I’m working on becoming more aware of how often I use a straw and have only resorted to them when zipping through a drive-thru.

And I’m carrying a newly acquired stainless steel straw (available in packs of eight with two cleaning brushes for $20 at Revolucion as of last week) in my Selena bag. Both are fun conversation starters. — Jess Elizarraras, flavor@sacurrent.com. sacurrent.com • March 14-20, 2018 • CURRENT 39

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FOOD

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JESSICA ELIZARRARAS + MARIA CHRISTINA GARDNER

New bars, new coffee and more Walk-On’s adding second location

>Texas will soon be home to four sports bars co-owned by New Orleans footballer Drew Brees.

San Antonio will gain a second WalkOn’s Bistreaux & Bar at 11075 I-10 W. in Huebner Oaks this April, but the chain’s focus is finding staff to run the place.

Interested cooks, servers, hosts, bartenders, and bussers can apply online or in person by visiting the new location Monday through Friday between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m., or Saturday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Owned by franchisee Moussa Haidar, the second San Antonio location will bring more of that “Louisiana-style” fare, sportsball and lots of TVs to watch it on. — JE

Edera folds

>Sunday, March 4, was the last day of business for San Pedro-based Edera Osteria-Enoteca.

The shop opened in 2016 with regional Italian fare inside a former flower shop.

Owners Roland and Sarah Gutierrez, along with partner Cesar Amador, announced the closing via Facebook, citing new opportunities.

“It is with great sadness that we announce the closing of Edera Osteria Enoteca effective March 3, 2018. Our family will be undertaking new opportunities that require a full time commitment.

“We would like to thank Cesar Amador and his family for their dedication to Edera, our employees for their loyal support and most

importantly, YOU, for your faithful patronage over the past two years. You helped us grow to become a stable part of the community.

“Thanks again and we look forward to seeing you around our beautiful city.

Roland & Sarah Gutierrez.”

1903 San Pedro Ave. — JE

Koffe Kup’s new owner

>In a strip mall tucked between Dibble’s Hobbies and Screen Rite, The Koffee Kup Co. has a new owner. An on-again, off-again cafe/restaurant for the past decade, owner Marisol De La Cruz is working on serving quality coffee for its latest iteration, and creating a space for the community to gather.

Opened mid-January, the café is run

by De La Cruz, who functions as a onewoman show behind the counter, greeting customers and making each cup herself.

Born in San Antonio, but raised in Laredo, De La Cruz learned about the Alamo City during her time at St. Mary’s University, where she received her bachelor’s degree in political science. She later earned her master’s in Latin American/Latino Studies at University of Illinois at Chicago. She went on to work as a paralegal for a familyimmigration law firm before moving into employment immigration, where she helped support corporations with work visas for their overseas employees. The work was stable, she said, but she found the job isolating and lacking opportunities to work with people.

With The Koffee Kup Co., De La Cruz can share her passion for coffee and community.

De La Cruz said she’s focused on quality.

She gets her beans roasted by Pulp Coffee Roasters, and the house blend allows her some versatility in application but also provides her consistent quality and taste.

Shop-goers won’t find latte art, but they will find latte specialties like the Mexican Mocha, a latte with old fashion Abuelita chocolate blended in. Other favorites include the Cuban, made with espresso, steamed milk and raw cane sugar, and Cafe Bombon, which features condensed milk and two shots of espresso.

It’s the relationships she forges with customers that make the experience different at her shop, De La Cruz said.

Just a few blocks away from Thomas Jefferson High School, Koffee Kup caters to students from the area who may be more familiar with Starbucks’ Frappuccino. Her take — the Shakerato — mixes heavy cream and espresso.

Koffee Kup is open from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Monday through Saturday. She hopes to extend hours in the future. This Saturday, hours will be expanded for a Book Swap

Party from 2 to 4 p.m. Book lovers are encouraged to take gently used book to the exchange.

1025 Donaldson Ave., (210) 635-0400.

— MCG

Thoughts on Still Golden’s first week

>Nailing the neighborhood bar concept is tricky, but early signs point to Still Golden Social House — the successor to Stay Golden Social House — likely turning into Broadway’s Cheers in the coming months.

Three days into its tenure at the corner of Broadway and Grayson, the patio sports bar had drawn sizable crowds. The soft opening on Saturday, March 3, was filled with well-wishers who missed their old stomping grounds, and as of Tuesday, the 3,000-square-food space had already served as a meeting space for a local nonprofit.

The similarities are there — it’s a casual joint for buddies, there are inexpensive classic cocktails to consume, cold beer and a pleasant enough playlist fills the air.

Bar-goers include service industry workers, dodgeball leagues, professional groups and everything in between.

But it’s in its differences that Still Golden really shines. This bar is comfortable enough to spend several hours in while watching Broadway foot traffic go by, and there’s ample indoor seating to avoid the summer heat (or try to at least). Much like its previous location, Still Golden is welcoming visitors from neighboring businesses.

Instead of it being a Pearl crowd, Grayson Street is about to have its moment as bar and restaurant-goers bar crawl from Shuck Shack to Grayze to The Bin to The Modernist to Still Golden.

The Game of Thrones tipples are gone save for one new drink (a Fernet and cold brew infused “Girl Has No Name”) by general manager Stephan Mendez. Though Chiflada, a food truck by Jessica Vargas, is expected to open until Wednesday, March 14, Fremonti Coffee, a mobile coffee cart, is keeping bar-goers caffeinated with a variety of espresso drinks and rotating beans of the week from Chicago’s Metric Coffee.

The cart, owned by business partners Robert Pecina Jr. and Daniel Rodriguez, usually serves until closing and will call Still Golden home for the next few days.

Fremonti closes at midnight on weekdays and 2 a.m. on weekends.

Though parking doesn’t seem to be an issue just yet, ride shares are your best bet.

1900 Broadway, (210) 365-3246. — JE Send food and nightlife news, tips and more to flavor@sacurrent.com. sacurrent.com • March 14-20, 2018 • CURRENT 41

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CURRENT • March 14-20, 2018 • sacurrent.com

NIGHTLIFE

DUELING GRAPEFRUIT Tinkering with the latest releases from Real Ale & Austin Eastciders JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

JESS ELIZARRARAS | @JESSELIZARRARAS

>

The temperature is slowly but surely making its way up, and although our weekends have been rained out, that hasn’t stopped local breweries from turning their attention to patio pounders.

Two highlights that have come out this spring’s batch of brews.

Released in early March, they are already hard to find on shelves.

Real Ale Brewing Co., which celebrates 22 years in Blanco, unleashed a grapefruit gose that’ll keep the gose line in stores perennially. Billed as a historic style from Northern Germany, this slightly sour wheat beer has hints of coriander. The staff at Real Ale adds fresh grapefruit purée after fermentation and the result is a 4.4 percent ABV with 5 IBUs — in other words, you’re going to have a lot of these if you’re into a dry, citrusy beer.

A 66-mile drive up I-35 will land you at Austin Eastcider’s tap room, but you won’t have to deal with all that traffic to get your hands on their sixth endeavor in the world of ciders. Made with heirloom sweet apples, American dessert apples and namesake grapefruits from the Rio Grande Valley, the Ruby Red Grapefruit cider is refreshing, not overtly sweet and at only 5 percent ABV, you’ll be able to enjoy them by the six-pack.

Because they’re so light, the gose and cider lend themselves to some tinkering. Here are a few suggestions for your own experimenting.

Bunches of Basil

Delicate grapefruit meets powerful basil for a refreshing sipper Ingredients 3-5 big sprigs of Thai basil 1 (12-ounce) can Austin Eastciders Ruby Red Grapefruit Directions // Give the Thai basil a rough chop and add into a French press. Pour cider, cover and refrigerate. Plunge after five minutes and enjoy.

Minty Goodness

Muddled or chopped, the mint adds more depth to the gose Ingredients 5 springs mint 1 (12-ounce) can Real Ale grapefruit gose Directions // Give mint a rough chop and add into a French press.

Pour gose, cover and refrigerate.

Plunge after 5-7 minutes and enjoy.

Of course, the natural progression is doctoring your gose/cider into an ever-popular Paloma, with the usual three parts grapefruit soda (or in this case, cider or gose) and one part silver tequila — toss in some ice, a grapefruit wedge and you’re done. If you’re into more elaborate set-ups, here’s how both companies suggest taking your grapefruit drinks in a boozier direction.

The Eastciders Paloma Ingredients 3 ounces grapefruit cider 1 1/2 ounce tequila, silver or blanco 1/2 ounce Aperol 1/2 ounce lime juice

1/2 ounce simple syrup Directions // Fill tall glass with crushed ice. Add tequila, Aperol, lime juice and simple syrup to glass. Top with Austin Eastciders Ruby Red Grapefruit and stir.

Courtesy of Austin Eastciders

Smoky Grapefruit Gose Paloma

Ingredients 2 small slices jalapeño, muddled 1 1/2 ounces smoky mezcal 1/2 ounce agave syrup 1/2 ounce fresh lime juice Grapefruit gose, for topping Directions // Shake jalapeño, mezcal, agave syrup and lime juice and pour into a pint glass with Sriracha salt rim. Top with Grapefruit gose. Garnish with lime wedge.

Courtesy of Real Ale Brewing Co.

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Austin’s South by Southwest pulls in musical performers from all over the globe, then pays them very little for the privilege of partaking in the massive industry showcase. Not surprisingly, many of those same artists line up nearby gigs so they can gas up their vans for the return trip.

Hence San Antonio’s annual SXSW spillover, which gives fans a chance to catch up-and-coming acts without forking over big money for an armband or sitting in a festival-induced traffic nightmare.

This year, in addition to some notable one-off shows, a bevy of multi-day festivals is drawing on SXSW talent.

Let’s start with the festivals: Heatwave III: For the price of one $50 pass, Paper Tiger’s Heatwave III lets concertgoers check out a rocking week of spillover shows, running Monday, March 12, through Sunday, March 18. Acts include The Coathangers, Dwarves, Broncho and U.S. Girls, among others. $50, 4 p.m., Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papetigersatx.com.

Imagine Fest III: Imagine Books and Records is running its own week-long fest Sunday, March 11, through Saturday, March 17. Chicago-based lo-fi popsters Advance Base and L.A.-based psych group Send Medicine join a roster deep with regional and local acts. $7 per show, 7 p.m., Imagine Books and Records, 8373 Culebra Road, (210) 239-7380, facebook.com/imaginebookshop.

South By St. Mary’s: Jandro’s Garden Patio will present 20 touring and regional bands during a pair of free shows Friday, March 17, and Saturday, March 18. Among the out-of-towners are St. sacurrent.com • March 14-20, 2018 • CURRENT 47

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Louis-based stoner riff monsters Brother Lee & the Leather Jackals and cheeky L.A. rockers Pacific Radio. Free, 6 p.m., Jandro’s Garden Patio, 2623 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 736-0688, facebook.com/Jandrostx.

SXBangBang: Bang Bang Bar gets into the spillover action with a week’s worth of shows running Monday, March 12, through Tuesday, March 20. Saturday, March 17, including a St. Paddy’s Day rockabilly showcase, while the following night pairs two disparate L.A. performers, electro-dance punks WASI and honey-voiced pop singer Trishes. Price varies, 9 p.m., Bang Bang Bar, 119 El Mio Dr., (210) 320-1187, thebangbangbar-hub.com.

And don’t forget these individual shows: Lizzie No/Nothing Chief: Harpist, guitarist and singer-songwriter Lizzie No is bringing her boundry-pushing folk to Lowcountry for a free show on Sunday, March 18. Brooklyn-based No has been profiled on NPR, and the Austin Chronicle named her one of the artists to watch at SXSW this year. Nothing Chief, the experimental singer-songwriter side project of local desert rock duo Lonely Horse shares the bill.

Free, 7 p.m., Lowcountry, 318 Martinez St., (210) 560-2224, lowcountrysa.com.

Dead South/Hooten Hallers: Roots music will come to roost Monday, March 19, when Canada’s the Dead South pairs its old-time string music with Missouribased the Hooten Hallers’ revved-up mix of rock, blues and soul. $12, 7:30 p.m., 502 Bar, 502 Embassy Oaks #138, (210) 257-8125, 502bar.com.

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As the landscape of extreme metal evolves, certain sub-genres are beginning to stand the test of time — like “metalcore,” a fusion of thrash metal and hardcore punk, which grew in popularity with bands like As I Lay Dying in the early 2000s. Brighton, England, band Architects fit the mold with their eight-track debut album Nightmares, which is littered with unexpected transitions, dissonance and technical guitar and drum badassery you don’t usually get from a new band. Fans of the genre can easily spot the influence of bands like Converge and Norma Jean. Last March, the band went on tour for the first time in the U.S. after losing their lead guitarist to cancer in August 2016. Even through tragedy, Architects continues to carve a path for themselves in the realms of post-hardcore and metalcore. $23-$25, 7pm, Alamo City Music Hall, 1305 E. Houston St., alamocitymusichall. com. – CC WED

14

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Red Light Cameras, The March Divide + More

14

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Full of stomping energy and hallmarked by lead singer Amanda Machon’s earthy voice, Albuquerque band the Red Light Cameras have a few different sounds that they move in and out of with ease. From silky and often danceable indie pop to soulful garage rock, Red Light Cameras just might be better off not knowing exactly where to place itself. Also on the bill are El Paso’s indie shoegazers Sleepspent, inde alt-rockers The March Divide, and the soulful crooning of the Josh Glenn Experiment. Free, 8pm, The Bang Bang Bar, 119 El Mio Dr., facebook.com/ thebangbangbar210. – CC WED

Heat Wave III (continued)

Imagine Fest III (Continued) Back for its third installment, the “Loudest Bookstore in Texas” returns with Imagine Fest III, a weeklong event hosting local, regional, national (and sometimes international) acts at Imagine Books and Records. If you’re looking to get your DIY fix, boo, this shit is YOUR shit. The fest kicked off Sunday, March 11, and continues through Saturday, March 17. Here’s what to expect from Wednesday on: Wednesday - Advance Base (Chicago), Mr. Pidge, 16 the Olympus, Friendship (Philadelphia), Godiva; Thursday - Islands & Tigers, Slomobile, Processions, The Frog & Bandit; Friday - St. Dukes, Grady Philip Drugg (ATX), Poets & Saints, Peanut Gallery, Joshua Myles; Saturday - Jason Kane & The Jive, Vintage Pictures, Shrynes, Rivers Want, Noise Quota. $7 (each day), 7pm, Imagine Books & Records, 8373 Culebra Rd #201b, (210) 239-7380, facebook.com/imaginebookshop. – CC WED-SAT

REGINA MORALES

14-17

Spanning seven days and featuring numerous performers, most of whom have official SXSW showcases this year, Heat Wave III continues through Sunday with a slew of acts from punk, post-punk, and weirdo-indie shit. “Our whole goal is to make it that people don’t really need to go to Austin,” said Ryan Brummett, Paper Tiger's talent buyer and operations manager. “We’re gonna bring all the bands to Paper Tiger, and people can buy one ticket and just go every day.” Here’s everything to look forward to this week: Wednesday - Cro-Mags, Ed Schrader’s Music Beat, Drab Majesty, Part Time; Thursday - Night Drive, Spine; Friday - Sports, The Buttertones, De Lux; Saturday - The Coathangers, Broncho, Public Access T.V.; Sunday - the Dwarves, U.S. Girls, Everything is Terrible. $10-$17 individual day pass, $50 week pass, times vary, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com. – CC WED-SUN

REGULAR JOHN DESIGN

14-18

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Joe King Carrasco + Eclectica Known as the King of Tex-Mex rock’n’roll, Joe King Carrasco creates a stylistic borderland of pop rock and Latin rhythms performing original hits from over 24 albums. He plays everything from country to rock & roll, tequila-soaked reggae to the sped-up polka that eventually became nueva wave. Heavily influenced by the sounds of Sir Douglas Quintet and Sunny Ozuna, Carrasco has taken their Tex-Mex formula and done something really unique. Also on the bill are the Nashville-based Eclectica, who blend a unique mix of jazz, country and classical music for a combo not often heard at spaces like Sam’s. $12-$50, 7pm, Sam’s Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com. – CC THU

15

Have the tides turned? Is San Antonio becoming a spot national acts want to hit, even more than places like Houston, Dallas or Austin?

Maybe not completely, but it’s a telling sign that indie-pop group PVRIS (pronounced Paris) has listed San Antonio as their only Texas stop for their headlining 2018 North American Tour. The trio’s music sounds as if Foals and The XX had a baby. Straight up. It’s danceable, electronic and emotive with sort of dark, echoing vocals that soar between major and minor keys. It’s great stuff, and it’s not surprising that the group is blowing up as fast as they are catching positive reviews from folks like Rolling Stone and Alternative Press. $25-$79, 7pm, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St. (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com.

– CC THU

FRI

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16

Founded in Cali, Colombia, which I only know of because of Narcos, Grupo Niche is a Salsa band that has been making waves in the Latin music scene since the late ’70s. After a few spins through their catalog, it’s obvious why these guys are regarded as one of the best groups to come out of Colombia.

Their music will get you hype even if you don’t want to be hype.

And even if you don’t get down with a lot of Latin music (I mean, like what you like, but if you’re reading this, chances are you live in South Texas), you can still appreciate the hip-shaking vibes from their fire cumbias. Pro tip: peep their track “La Canoa Rancha.” $40-$60, 7pm, The Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St(210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com.

– CC

RISE RECORDS

Grupo Niche

PVRIS

Wasn’t Insane Clown Posse just here? The answer would be, yes.

Yep, the horrorcore, rapping, killer-clown duo graced San Antonio last October on – get this – Friday the 13th. But that’s not stopping the clowns from coming back to town. Here’s your chance to get spooky ... in March? Metalcore boys Atilla are also on the bill, which seems even more random. Now, to each his own as far as musical taste goes, but is there a huge juggalo community in SA that no one is telling us about? It definitely would explain these dudes hitting up SA on the regs. $30-$33, 7pm, Alamo City Music Hall, 1305 E. Houston St., alamocitymusichall.com. – CC SAT

17

Insane Clown Posse + Attila JAIME MONZON

COURTESY OF JOE KING

15

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PVRIS Massachusetts rock band PVRIS is known for their 2014’s hit album White Noise. Last year, they released their second album with Rise Records All We Know of Heaven, All We Need of Hell.

PVRIS has toured with rock bands like Bring Me the Horizon and Fall Out Boy. $25-$69. Aztec Theatre, 7:30pm.

Imagine Fest: Night IV Dance duo Mr. Pidge performs with nostalgia-obsessed solo artist Advance Base, experimental jazz band 16 The Olympus, Godiva and Friendship. $7. Imagine Books and Records, 7pm.

FRIDAY, MARCH 16

KJ97 Cares for Kids Country artists Cody Johnson, Kane Brown, David Lee Murphy, Dylan Scott, William Clark Green and Mike Ryan share the stage to raise proceeds for the St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

Standing room only. $20-$200. John T Floore’s Country Store, 7pm.

The Contortionist American progressive metal band from Indianapolis The Contortionist performs with metal band Silent Planet, Indian/American metal band Skyharbor and instrumental progressive rock trio Strawberry Girls. $18-$75. Alamo City Music Hall & Club, 6pm.

THURSDAY, MARCH 15

Doc Watkins and His Orchestra South Texas jazz musician Brent “Doc” Watkins and his orchestra perform live. $30. Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30pm.

The Blues Lawyer Performing covers from Clapton, BB King, Muddy Waters, and other musicians. Free. Hidden Tavern, 8-10pm.

Imagine Fest: Night V Local indie band The Frog Bandit performs with dreampop group Processions, folk rock band Send Medicine from Los Angeles, garage pop band Islands & Tigers and dreampop group Slomobile. $7. Imagine Books and Records, 7pm.

Joe King Carrasco Eclectica Known as the King of Tex-Mex rock’n’roll, Joe King Carrasco creates a stylistic borderland

Salsa Night Mainstream Latin jazz artist Jose Amador performs with the NATIAO Latin jazz group. $10. Jazz, TX, 8:30pm.

Grupo Niche Salsa group from Cali, Colombia, performs original salsa hits. $40-$60. Aztec Theatre, 8pm.

Imagine Fest: Night VI Indie rock band Saint Dukes, folk duo Poet Saints, pop/ rap group PeanutGallery and Joshua Myles take the stage during Imagine Fest. $7.

Imagine Books and Records, 7pm.

Skyrocket Austin based singer-songwriters resurrect hits from each decade. $13$100. Sam’s Burger Joint, 9pm.

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MUSIC

SATURDAY, MARCH 17

CULTURE

Albert Cummings Cummings has performed with blues legends B.B. King, Johnny Winter, and Buddy Guy. Cummings’ soulful and explosive approach to blues and rock caught the attention of Blind Pig Records, which signed him to a multi-album deal. $15-$60. Sam’s Burger Joint, 9pm.

L O C A L C U LT U R E T I C K E T S . C O M

Imagine Fest: Night VII Boogie rock trip Jason Kane and The Jive performs with indie group Vintage Pictures, garage rock duo Shrynes, alternative rock band Noise Quota and Dream Place. $7. Imagine Books and Records, 7pm.

Insane Clown Posse and Attila Horrorcore hip-hop duo I.C.P. takes the stage with metalcore band Attila from Atlanta. $30.

Alamo City Music Hall & Club, 6pm.

Rancho Aparte de Colombia The bestknown music of Chocó, Colombia is lively brass band music called Chirimia.

Chirimia bands feature homemade bass, snare drums, cymbals, a euphonium and clarinets. Rancho Aparte takes that sound and adds their own twist with elements of rap, rock, and funk. Los De Esta Noche from San Antonio combines cumbia, rock, punk, blues, and ska to create a musical experience that will make you move in all kinds of directions. $5. Hi-Tones, 10pm.

Ripple Music Festival Wo Fat, Blackwulf, Mothership, and more. Limelight will also be hosting special guest bands The Watchers and Witch Cryer. $20. Limelight, 3pm-2am.

Pat Green Country singer-songwriter performs with special guest Cory Morrow. $27. The Rustic, 7pm-midnight

SUNDAY, MARCH 18 The Phantom and the Illharmonic Orchestra An orchestral ensemble performs over 20 pieces of hip hop infused

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classical music. $28.50. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 7pm.

Lizzie No & Nothing Chief Harpist, guitarist and singer-songwriter Lizzie No has made her mark in contemporary folk music. Free.

Low Country, 9pm.

MONDAY, MARCH 19 The Dead South Canadian folkbluegrass music ensemble from Regina, Saskatchewan, performs with blues band The Hooten Hallers from Columbia, Missouri. $12-$18. 502 Bar, 7:30pm.

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Frank Turner English singer-songwriter performs over a decade of original hits. $20-$25. Paper Tiger, 8pm.

Swing Nite with Three Swings and a Miss Professional Jazz band performs a night of tunes inspired by the golden age of jazz. $7. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8:30pm.

TUESDAY, MARCH 20 The Doc Watkins Trio Orchestra South Texas jazz musician Brent “Doc” Watkins and his trio perform live. $10. Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30 pm.

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I’m a 33-year-old woman from Melbourne, Australia, dating a 24-year-old man.

We’ve been dating for about eight months; it is exclusive and official.

He’s kind and sweet, caring and giving, and his penis is divine. The thing is, he confessed to me recently that he doesn’t really “feel.” The way he explained it is, the only emotions he feels are fear and anxiousness that he’ll disappoint the people he cares about. He says he’s never been in love. He said his dad is the same way. The only time I see him really “feel” are when he’s high, which he is semi-frequently. He uses MDMA and he comes alive. He seems the way a “normal” person does when they’re in love, but when he’s sober, it’s like he’s trying to mimic the things a person in love would say or do. I confessed I am falling in love with him recently and told him I wasn’t saying this with any expectation of him feeling the same; I just wanted him to know. He responded that he cares for me a lot — but that’s it. I’m now worried that he’ll never love me.

I don’t want kids, so time isn’t critical for me, but I don’t want to be with someone who won’t ever love me.

Lacking One Vaunted Emotion

You didn’t use the P-word (psychopath) or the S-word (sociopath), LOVE, but both came to mind as I was reading your letter. Someone who isn’t capable of feeling? Isn’t that textbook P-word/S-word stuff?

“The fear with someone who doesn’t ‘feel’ is that they may be a psychopath or a sociopath, terms that are used interchangeably,” said Jon Ronson, author of The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry. “And lots of the items on the psychopath checklist relate to an inability to experience deep emotions — like Shallow Affect, Lack of Empathy and Lack of Remorse. However, I have good news for LOVE! This line: ‘The only emotions he really feels are fear and anxiousness that he’ll disappoint the people he cares about’ is the critical one. Psychopaths do not feel anxiety. In fact, my favorite thing a psychologist said to me about this was: ‘If you’re worried you may be psychopath, that means you aren’t one.’ Also, psychopaths don’t care

about disappointing loved-ones! All those emotions that relate to an overactive amygdala — fear, remorse, guilt, regret, empathy — psychopaths don’t feel them.”

So your boyfriend’s not a psychopath.

Not that you asked. But, you know, just in case you were worried. Anyway …

My hunch is that your boyfriend’s problem isn’t an inability to feel love, LOVE, but an inability to recognize the feelings he’s having as love. (Or potentially love, as it’s only been eight months.) What is romantic love but a strong desire to be with someone? The urge to be sweet to them, to take care of them, to do for them? Maybe he’s just going through the motions with you — a conscious mimicit-till-you-make it strategy —or maybe the double whammy of a damaged dad and that toxic masculinity stuff sloshing around out there left him blocked, LOVE, or emotionally constipated. And while MDMA can definitely be abused — moderation in all things, kids, including moderation — the effect it has on him is a hopeful sign.

MDMA is not an emotional hallucinogen; the drug has been used in couples counseling and to treat PTSD, not because it makes us feel things that aren’t there (in the way a hallucinogen makes us see things that aren’t there), but because it allows genuine feelings to surface and, for a few hours, to be felt intensely. So he can feel love — he just has to learn how to tap into those feelings and/or recognize them without an assist from MDMA. Jon Ronson had one last bit of advice for you, LOVE: “Marry him and his divine penis!”

I agree with Jon, of course, but a long, leisurely engagement is definitely in order.

You’ve only been seeing this guy and his divinity dick for eight months — don’t propose to him for at least another year, LOVE, and make marriage conditional upon him seeing a shrink four times as often as he sees his MDMA dealer.

Follow Jon Ronson on Twitter @ jonronson, read all of his books (So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed? is urgently required reading for anyone who spends time online), and check out his amazing podcast, The Butterfly Effect.

To access all things Jon Ronson, go to JonRonson.com. mail@savagelove.net @FakeDanSavage on Twitter www.ITMFA.org

ETC.

JONESIN’ CROSSWORD by Matt Jones

Answer on page 27

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“An Increasing Problem” — it’s in all the papers.

ACROSS

1 Young ‘un 6 “Monsters, ___” (2001 Pixar film) 9 Prehistoric squirrel in “Ice Age” 14 “SNL” alumna Cheri 15 “Boyz N the Hood” actress Long 16 Coffeeshop lure 17 START OF A ONE-LINER 20 Road shoulder 21 Plays first 22 Helper, briefly 23 PART 2 OF THE ONE-LINER 26 “The Wind in the Willows” creature 27 Scouring items 28 Part of the acronym NASCAR 31 Shingle replacer 35 “Mr. Holland’s ___” (1995 movie) 36 Adjust, as text 40 Comedian Chappelle 41 Classic Chevy, for short 43 PART 3 OF THE ONE-LINER 44 Hit the floppy disk icon 45 Mag. positions 46 Growing-sprouts-on-terracotta gift 49 Hosp. facilities 50 Held up 52 “All in the Family” creator Norman

54 END OF THE ONE-LINER 57 British comedian known for his one-liners (like this one) 60 Laughfest 61 Plane steerer 63 Chemistry class model 64 “If all ___ fails ...”

65 23rd of 50 66 ___ pot (sinus-cleaning apparatus) 67 Ending for pun or hip 68 “Watching the Detectives” singer Costello 69 Nicholas II was the last one

DOWN

1 “Today” co-anchor Hoda 2 “Am ___ only one?”

3 John with a green-andyellow logo 4 Eugene O’Neill, for instance 5 Ending for human or planet 6 Place for two (or more) peas 7 S.F. NFLer 8 It makes felines go nuts 9 2012 AFTRA merger partner 10 Vanilla-flavored soft drink 11 “Arrested Development” actress Portia de ___ 12 “Caught a Lite Sneeze” singer Tori 13 President with a specially made bathtub 18 Big trip

19 Heavenly home of the Norse gods 24 Jake Busey, to Gary Busey 25 “Much ___ About Nothing” 28 Go from place to place 29 Impersonated 30 Doesn’t hold back 32 They may get played 33 At all times 34 Baby ___ (some potato options) 37 ___ tai (rum cocktail) 38 Period for the history books 39 Kathmandu’s country abbr., if they were in the 2018 Winter Olympics 42 ___ Cooler (“Ghostbusters”-themed Hi-C flavor) 44 Educational acronym sometimes paired with the arts 47 Bailout request 48 Influential groups 51 In pursuit of 53 ___-garde 54 Uno + dos 55 Mr. Chamberlain 56 Make a call (even though nobody physically does it) 57 “Home” author Morrison 58 “___ creature was stirring ...”

59 Qatar ruler 62 Deck count with two jokers, in Roman numerals

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): The British science fiction TV show Dr. Who has appeared on BBC in 40 of the last 54 years. Over that span, the titular character has been played by 13 different actors. From 2005 until 2010, Aries actor David Tennant was the magic, immortal, time-traveling Dr. Who. His ascendance to the role fulfilled a hopeful prophecy he had made about himself when he was 13 years old. Now is an excellent time for you, too, to predict a glorious, satisfying, or successful occurrence in your own future.

Think big and beautiful!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): New York City is the most densely populated city in North America. Its land is among the most expensive on earth; one estimate says the average price per acre is $16 million. Yet there are two uninhabited islands less than a mile off shore in the East River: North Brother Island and South Brother Island. Their combined 16 acres are theoretically worth $256 million. But no one goes there or enjoys it; it’s not even parkland. I bring this to your attention, Taurus, because I suspect it’s an apt metaphor for a certain situation in your life: a potentially rich resource or influence that you’re not using. Now is a good time to update your relationship with it.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The iconic 1942 movie Casablanca won three Academy Awards and has often appeared on critics’ lists of the greatest films ever made. That’s amazing considering the fact that the production was so hectic. When shooting started, the script was incomplete. The writing team frequently presented the finished version of each new scene on the day it was to be filmed. Neither the director nor the actors knew how the plot would resolve until the end of the process. I bring this to your attention, Gemini, because it reminds me of a project you have been working on.

I suggest you start improvising less and planning more. How do you want this phase of your life to climax?

CANCER (June 21-July 22): If all goes well in the coming weeks, you will hone your wisdom about how and when and why to give your abundant gifts to deserving recipients — as well as how and when and why to not give your abundant gifts to deserving recipients. If my hopes come to pass, you will refine your ability to share your tender depths with worthy allies — and you will refine your understanding of when to not share your tender depths with worthy allies.

Finally, Cancerian, if you are as smart as I think you are, you will have a sixth sense about how to receive as many blessings as you disseminate.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): How adept are you at playing along the boundaries between

the dark and the light, between confounding dreams and liberated joy, between “Is it real?” and “Do I need it?”? You now have an excellent opportunity to find out more about your capacity to thrive on delightful complexity. But I should warn you. The temptation to prematurely simplify things might be hard to resist. There may be cautious pressure coming from a timid voice in your head that’s not fierce enough to want you to grow into your best and biggest self. But here’s what I predict: You will bravely explore the possibilities for selftransformation that are available outside the predictable niches.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Cultivating a robust sense of humor makes you more attractive to people you want to be attractive to. An inclination to be fun-loving is another endearing quality that’s worthy of being part of your intimate repertoire. There’s a third virtue related to these two: playfulness. Many humans of all genders are drawn to those who display joking, lighthearted behavior. I hope you will make maximum use of these qualities during the coming weeks, Virgo. You have a cosmic mandate to be as alluring and inviting as you dare.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I suggest you gaze at exquisitely wrought Japanese woodcuts ... and listen to jazz trumpeter Miles Davis collaborating with saxophonist John Coltrane ... and inhale the aroma of the earth as you stroll through groves of very old trees. Catch my drift, Libra? Surround yourself with soulful beauty — or else! Or else what? Or else I’ll be sad. Or else you might be susceptible to buying into the demoralizing thoughts that people around you are propagating. Or else you may become blind to the subtle miracles that are unfolding, and fail to love them well enough to coax them into their fullest ripening. Now get out there and hunt for soulful beauty that awakens your deepest reverence for life. Feeling awe is a necessity for you right now, not a luxury.

Adelmar Coimbra-Filho was ecstatic. He realized that his visitor was a member of the species known as the golden-rumped lion tamarin, which had been regarded as extinct for 65 years. His lucky accident led to a renewed search for the elusive creatures, and soon more were discovered. I foresee a metaphorically comparable experience coming your way, Sagittarius. A resource or influence or marvel you assumed was gone will reappear. How will you respond? With alacrity, I hope!

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The Velcro fastener is a handy invention that came into the world thanks to a Swiss engineer named George de Mestral. While wandering around the Alps with his dog, he got curious about the bristly seeds of the burdock plants that adhered to his pants and his dog. After examining them under a microscope, he got the idea to create a clothing fastener that imitated their sticking mechanism. In accordance with the astrological omens, Capricorn, I invite you to be alert for comparable breakthroughs. Be receptive to help that comes in unexpected ways. Study your environment for potentially useful clues and tips. Turn the whole world into your classroom and laboratory. It’s impossible to predict where and when you may receive a solution to a long-running dilemma!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): On May 29, 1953, Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay climbed to the top of Mount Everest. They were celebrated as intrepid heroes. But they couldn’t have done it without massive support. Their expedition was powered by 20 Sherpa guides, 13 other mountaineers, and 362 porters who lugged 10,000 pounds of baggage. I bring this to your attention, Aquarius, in the hope that it will inspire you.

The coming weeks will be an excellent time to gather more of the human resources and raw materials you will need for your rousing expedition later this year.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Although her work is among the best Russian literature of the twentieth century, poet Marina Tsvetayeva lived in poverty. When fellow poet Rainer Maria Rilke asked her to describe the kingdom of heaven, she said, “Never again to sweep floors.”

I can relate. To earn a living in my early adulthood, I washed tens of thousands of dishes in restaurant kitchens. Now that I’m grown up, one of my great joys is to avoid washing dishes. I invite you to think along these lines, Pisces. What seemingly minor improvements in your life are actually huge triumphs that evoke profound satisfaction?

Take inventory of small pleasures that are really quite miraculous.

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In the Sikh religion, devotees are urged to attack weakness and sin with five “spiritual weapons”: contentment, charity, kindness, positive energy, and humility. Even if you’re not a Sikh, I think you’ll be wise to employ this strategy in the next two weeks. Why? Because your instinctual nature will be overflowing with martial force, and you’ll have to work hard to channel it constructively rather than destructively. The best way to do that is to be a vehement perpetrator of benevolence and healing.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In 1970, a biologist was hiking through a Brazilian forest when a small monkey landed on his head, having jumped from a tree branch. sacurrent.com • March 14-20, 2018 • CURRENT 61

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