San Antonio Current – April 25, 2018

APRIL 25-MAY 1, 2018

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sacurrent.com • April 25 - May 1, 2018 • CURRENT 3

San Antonio Current Publisher: Michael Wagner Editor-in-Chief: Greg Jefferson

Editorial

Senior Editors: Bryan Rindfuss, Jessica Elizarraras Art Director: Carlos Aguilar Food & Nightlife Editor: Jessica Elizarraras Staff Writers: Chris Conde, Sanford Nowlin Digital Content Editor: Sarah Martinez Contributors: Alexis Alvarez , Ron Bechtol, Erik Casarez, James Courtney, Callie Enlow, Jose Garza, Dan R. Goddard, Alejandra Lopez Gonzalez, Lance Higdon, Steven G. Kellman, Hannah Lorence, Michelle C. Lorentzen, Abby Mangel, Kiko Martínez, Jeremy Martin, Kelly Merka Nelson, M. Solis, Gary Sweeney, J.D. Swerzenski, Kelsey Valadez, Erin Winch Editorial Interns: Tehua Cruz , Lori Salazar, Victoria Wilson

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CURRENT • April 25 - May1 , 2018 • sacurrent.com

HIGHLIGHTS Thursday, April 26

6:30PM-7:30PM | National Poetry Month OpenMic Readings Memorial Branch Library: 3222 Culebra Road Do you write poems? Are you comfortable reading them out loud?

If so, please join us for our open mic night for National Poetry Month.

Please contact us for sign-up and more details. Call (210) 207-9140 or email rdavila@sanantonio.gov

Saturday, April 28

2PM-4PM | TRAFFICKING IN WORDS/ TRAFICANDO EN LA PALABRA Collins Garden Library: 200 N Park Come celebrate "Trafficking in Words" for National Poetry Month at Collins Garden Branch Library with Voces Cósmicas poets: Fernando Esteban Flores, Jacinto Jesus Cardona, Alicia Galvan, Suzanne Green, Ed Cody, Liz Vera, Stephanie Velasquez and others. Music by TBA. Call (210) 605-7951 or email Festflo@yahoo.com

Sunday, April 29

11AM -12:15PM | VOICES, VIBES AND VISIONS SAY Sí: 1518 S. Alamo Street Voices, Vibes and Visions: Poems Written and Read by Martha Grant. Martha Grant reads her poems, interspersed with live music, meditation at this lively, interfaith celebration. Call (210) 534-3737 or email rudi@celebrationcircle.org

Monday, April 30

6:30pm-8:30pm | OPEN WRITERS LAB Gemini Ink: 1111 Navarro Street On the last Monday of each month, Gemini Ink hosts a peer-driven workshop where writers of all levels can have their work critiqued.

It is facilitated by Gemini Ink volunteers Dario Beniquez and John McLennon. Writers should bring several copies of their work, which should be no more than 4-5 pages long. Call (210) 734-9673 or email courtney@geminiink.org

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FIRST WORDS 1

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On San Antonio Artists Mark & Angela Walley Weigh In on the 'Battle' That Launched Fiesta // Knew the history of how Fiesta began but definitely didnt know this piece. Im glad to see more history of Fiesta emerging to current day so folks truly know why we began to celebrate. Although I think sometimes we forget about why it started and only think about the joy it brings to so many now and how many organizations are supported through this huge party for a cause. Thanks for sharing!

–Haydee Garza On In Defense of Chicken on a Stick: Historyrich Bites Need to Persist // Aww, geez! Of course it's not healthy. Neither is any food sold at State fairs, carnivals, etc. Moderation. Fiesta food is once a year. Enjoy! – Dolores Martinez On Fiesta San Antonio: Throw Confetti To Celebrate Oppression // This is a great article that needs more attention. Fiesta is an insult and humiliation to those who lost land, rights and freedom after the "revolution." Thousands of Latinos were lynched right up into the 1940s at the hands of the invaders. – Jimmy James

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Issue 18_17 /// April 25-May 1, 2018

NEWS

Hot-Wiring Politics For good or bad, organized labor is taking matters into its own hands

COVER James Rivera (left) and Robert “Bobdog” Catlin’ perform with the metal supergroup South Texas Legion. Rivera’s Helstar and Catlin’s S.A. Slayer were two of the regional bands that helped put San Antonio on the map as the “Heavy Metal Capital of the World” during the 1980s. Decades on, the city’s heavy music scene is still thriving, observers say, just not at the same level.

Photograph by Jaime Monzon.

Art direction by Carlos Aguilar.

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CURRENT • January 24-30, 2018 • sacurrent.com

CALENDAR

Our top picks for the week

Glitter Political ‘To the Left, to the Left’

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ARTS + CULTURE

High Art Cheech Marin shares thoughts on some of the San Antonio artists represented in his collection

Their Town Thinking magically about jobs

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SCREENS

Artist’s Block Final Portrait paints colorless, tedious picture of the creative process

ON THE

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MUSIC

Smiling Sin, Reluctant Repentance D.T. Buffkin’s new LP is alive with timeless themes, San Anto feels Metal in the Blood San Antonio was once the ‘Heavy Metal Capital of the World.’ Will it ever be again?

Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

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FOOD

The Big Spoon I’m not an ‘influencer’ A New Take on Tex-Mex With second book, Vianney Rodriguez tackles slow cooker takes on a beloved cuisine

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ETC.

Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology

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NIGHTLIFE

Tipple Test Boiler House holds mighty fine happy hour Cocktail of the Week Barbaro’s 'When Roy Gets Back'

NominationS Open NOW THRU MAY 23RD NOMINATE YOUR FAVORITE PEOPLE, PLACES AND THINGSTO DO IN SAN ANTONIO, IN 150+ CATEGORIES!

SACURRENT.COM/BESTOFSA18 sacurrent.com • April 25 - May 1, 2018 • CURRENT 7

Celebrating 300 years of San Antonio May 2 - May 6, 2018

@MARKETSQUARESA 8

CURRENT • April 25-May 1, 2018 • sacurrent.com

CATCH US ON

NEWS

Hot-Wiring Politics SANFORD NOWLIN

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Come November, San Antonio voters may find themselves in the rare position of deciding the fate of four locally spurred referendums.

In February, the San Antonio Professional Firefighters Association, locked in a nasty contract brawl with the city, proposed three changes to the City Charter that would whack away at the power of city government. And last week, a consortium called Working Texans for Paid Sick Time said its gathering signatures for separate referendums that would require San Antonio and Dallas to mandate businesses to give workers paid sick leave.

“Politics is so broken in Washington and in Austin that we’ve got to be more aggressive and more proactive in taking the fight to the voters,” said Rick Levy, Texas president of the AFL-CIO, one of the Working Texans’ chief backers.

Are those proposed referendums a sign that political division and dysfunction will drive a new spate of voter-initiated ballot measures? After all, use of referendums exploded in the late 19th Century when populist movements sought more checks on elected officials.

The answer is, well, maybe.

Referendums, if used strategically, could be a way to energize disenfranchised voting blocks, said Walter Wilson, an associate professor of political science at

SANFORD NOWLIN

For good or bad, organized labor is taking matters into its own hands.

Supporters hold a recent rally in support of a San Antonio referendum that would require businesses offer workers paid sick leave.

the University of Texas at San Antonio. However, it’s hard to look at the fire union’s proposals and the AFLCIO-driven initiative through the same lens.

“The Firefighters’ [referendums] are an interesting negotiating tactic,” Wilson said. “It’s clearly coming out of this labor dispute, and it’s clearly being done out of spite.”

The union didn’t return requests for comment on this article.

Its proposals have populist appeal, with one taking direct aim at City Manager Sheryl Sculley, who’s led the city’s side of stalled collective bargaining efforts.

That measure would limit city managers’ salaries no greater than 10 times that of the lowest-paid city employees. Sculley’s current annual pay package stands at $550,000.

The other two would require the city to enter into binding arbitration with public-safety unions to end bargaining stalemates and to lower the number of signatures required to initiate a referendum to 20,000. Currently, to initiate a referendum, citizens must obtain signatures from 10 percent of all eligible voters in the most recent municipal election — or around 75,000 signatures, according to the Bexar County Elections Department.

The outcome is that the city will spend time, money and resources to mobilize an effort to sway voters if it aims to maintain the status quo. Whatever the result

come November, the Firefighters’ effort is unlikely to be repeated in future elections — unless the stalemate lingers.

On the other hand, Wilson said the AFL-CIO’s referendum could point to a strategic shift by groups feeling left out of the political process.

About 40 percent of Texas workers don’t have paid sick leave, according to data from the Institute for Women’s Policy Research. And, in February, the AFLCIO and its allies successfully lobbied Austin’s city council to become the first Texas city to mandate paid sick time.

If the coalition can get the measure on the ballot this fall, it might benefit from an energized progressive electorate, which views the midterms as a referendum on the Trump presidency. U.S. Senate candidate Beto O’Rourke, a Democrat, for example, has endorsed paid sick leave.

Beyond that, though, a referendum with real effect on working peoples’ lives might get them to the polls even when candidates might not, especially in a nonpresidential year. Groups like the AFL-CIO could view a referendum popular with blue-collar voters as a way to give a boost to progressive candidates.

“The Democratic Party has been captured by bourgeois interests, which makes them look a lot less authentic to working-class voters,” Wilson said. “This could be a good argument to get them out again.”

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CURRENT • April 25-May 1, 2018 • sacurrent.com

JADE ESTEBAN ESTRADA

NEWS

know how we got here,” he says. “I think that’s why I’m a strong candidate – because I have the strength of context.”

Between conversation-framing quotes by Noam Chomsky and Dwight D. Eisenhower, he explains how he feels we’re living through a second Gilded Age, where working-class Americans are again controlled by the oligarchs of big business. He offers the Pullman Strike of 1894 to illustrate what he feels is needed now to take back the government from the donor class – that small but powerful group of individuals who donate to campaigns with silver strings attached. Like his hero Sanders, Treviño says he refuses corporate super PAC money, which he feels leaves him free to represent the working people of his district if elected. “I’m not gonna sell out,” he says. “I’ll win this way or I’ll lose this way.”

Certainly, his electability would be questionable at best if the old rules decide to circle back and apply, but neither candidate can assume a victory. Treviño puts tremendous trust in his block-walking efforts, which he says allows him to stay close to voters while his rival – who is likely doing the same – is tagged in Twitter photos with celebrities like Chelsea Handler. “When I’m knocking on the door in the I’m sitting at a table across from Rick Treviño heaven’s sake) and political prognosticators had been right, colonias, I know, 100 percent, that they didn’t read Gina’s Teen Vogue article.” at Don Pedro Mexican Restaurant on the Treviño probably wouldn’t be holding this golden ticket.

Treviño knows he’s up against the revved-up Year of city’s South Side, and I’m having this sort of “I think it’s just a really exciting, powerful, political moment the Woman machine. But he argues that his chances of out of body experience. in American history,” he says as he enthusiastically maps winning has, in part, been made possible by the mostly Maybe it’s just me, but having a conversation with the out, in colorful detail, the district that sprawls across a female chorus of marchers, meme creators and their allies, left-leaning Treviño, who's competing for the Democratic ridiculously large section of the state. nomination in Texas’ 23rd Congressional District, feels a Treviño, 33, got his first hit of political adrenaline at a very in conjunction with this Democratic civil war. He feels his little like being on a field trip with a tireless teacher who’s young age. In 1992, his mother brought him along while she platform of "Healthcare for All" and an increase in the minimum wage would benefit women the most. “That’s just preparing me for a statewide politics and American history volunteered on Richard Raymond’s first campaign for state competition. He actually is a former high-school history representative in Laredo. Years later, after Treviño graduated the reality,” he says of running a campaign in the aftermath of the #metoo movement. “Our society is sexist. The patriarchy teacher, which shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone from college and found it difficult to find a teaching job, his does exist, and we have to come to terms with the legacy who’s ever heard him riff in the spotlight. parents encouraged him to get political. They suggested of that.” He says that poverty and welfare, which is often If his hard work and sweat win the day in the May 22 he look into LULAC. “My parents are just like me,” he says viewed as a racialized issue, is actually one of gender. “Most runoff, he’ll have the opportunity to challenge two-term proudly. “To the left.”

Republican incumbent Will Hurd in the November midterm His later introduction to the political ideology of Sen. Bernie people who are poor are single women with children.”

Treviño doesn’t believe Jones’ developing national election, and potentially contribute to the much talked about Sanders in 2012 was a turning point in his life, and during the “blue wave.” However, his runoff opponent, Gina Ortiz Jones’ 2016 Democratic primaries, Treviño served as a San Antonio presence will move the needle very much with district voters. “[National press] is a song and dance for the donor class,” well-funded campaign stands in his way. delegate to the Sanders’ presidential campaign. Last year, he As voters from San Antonio to El Paso revisit Treviño’s ran for the District 6 seat on city council but was 28 votes shy he says. He explains that the way consultants win elections is by creating a “pseudo-celebrity. You create celebrity purely progressive platform, the larger narrative of a of making the runoff. by going on MSNBC. You don’t get on the cover of Time Democratic divide is unfolding. In the first major election As I’m listening to him discuss topics as varied as since the ascension of Donald J. Trump, hard-core cybersecurity and the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution during the Magazine ’cause those journalists are good sleuths! You have connections.” Treviño’s own connections earned him an progressives are battling more mainstream candidates for Vietnam War, I come to an early conclusion that Treviño interview with the anti-establishment web series The Young primacy. Whether Treviño has an advantage in this contest is is what young people would easily describe as “woke,” anyone’s guess. meaning socially aware for those who know who Florence Turks, which is to progressives what Madonna was to MTV throughout the 1980s.

Sporting a fresh Rick Treviño for Congress t-shirt and Henderson is. This comes across in his sometimes “I really wanna win. I’m trying really hard. I’m trying my his boy-next-door vibe, Treviño brings to mind the Charlie urgently-stated answers and in the bear-poking sideshow best. I’m willing to strike out on these issues.”

Bucket character in the 1971 film Willy Wonka and the he performed on his April 2 debate with Jones on Texas He takes a drink of his water, then, puts the glass down Chocolate Factory. If endorsements did what they’re Public Radio. confidently. supposed to do (fellow Democratic candidate Jay Hulings Arguably, his rapid-fire comparisons of recent events to “But don’t worry. I’m gonna hit a home run.” had the backing of the almighty Castro brothers, for the history of the U.S. is his bright green mutant power. “I

'To the Left, To the Left'

Rick Treviño: SA’s badass progressive

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CURRENT • April 25-May 1, 2018 • sacurrent.com

NEWS

SANFORD NOWLIN

Thinking Magically About Jobs

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San Antonio jobs have been on my mind lately for a completely self-centered reason. I’ve got two daughters graduating in early May – one with a bachelor’s degree from Texas State University, the other with a master’s from UTSA – and they need jobs in their fields. This is the self-centered part: for me, it’d be great if they could find work in their hometown.

So you can imagine my relief when Mayor Ron Nirenberg pledged during his State of the City speech on April 10 to create 70,000 new area jobs over the next two years – “more jobs than any mayoral administration in San Antonio’s history.”

Now, if he would only summon the same magical powers to insure nice weather for my kids’ graduation ceremonies. And maybe do something about the Spurs.

To give you some idea of how big Nirenberg’s commitment is, consider the number of jobs added in the San Antonio area between February 2017 and February 2018 – 24,600, an increase of 2.4 percent, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Economically, last year and the early months of this year were respectable – not stellar but solid. Double that annual number of new jobs, and you still have only 49,200.

Nirenberg cites a bigger number from the Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas: 33,100 jobs created in 2017.

Looking ahead, he almost certainly knows about a handful of big deals in the works – major companies looking to set up operations in San Antonio or large local employers thinking about increasing their workforces.

Mayors know about these developments weeks or months before the rest of us. For one thing, corporations considering an investment in San Antonio – and 9.9 times out of 10 asking for public giveaways – want to know they

Nirenberg’s pledge to create 70,000 jobs looks bold, rings hollow have the mayor’s support, and that he or she won’t do or say anything that’ll embarrass them.

But 70,000 jobs worth of prospects, or anything close to it? Seems unlikely – unless Amazon is secretly pleading with our city leaders to allow the company to locate its second U.S. headquarters here and the 50,000 employees who will run it. Of course, that would mean forgetting Nirenberg’s and County Judge Nelson Wolff’s super-awkward refusal in October to participate in Amazon’s site-selection process.

Jobs goals are usually a political ploy, a gesture that politicians make assuming nobody will remember after a few months or bother to check on later. The pledge-maker looks bold without going through the hassle of being bold.

Which is similar to boldly taking up the transit mantle by creating a private-public nonprofit – ConnectSA – to craft a sorely needed transportation plan for San Antonio and sell it to voters.

Keeping in mind that San Antonio’s major chambers of commerce host the annual State of the City speeches, staking out a big jobs goal is a way for Nirenberg to tell the all-important business community, “I’m not a California-inspired radical. I’ll do what it takes to create the conditions for strong employment growth.” The grittier part of the message is: “… so support my major initiatives and back me at election time.”

In part, that’s just how politics works. You try to pack meaning into a single, clear-cut, compelling idea whenever possible. In other words, you rely on shorthand.

The problem with a huge jobs target is that it grossly exaggerates the direct impact that local government and the public-private San Antonio Economic Development Foundation (EDF) have on the regional economy. In 2015, for example, EDF – the area’s go-to jobs recruiter – worked 20 deals that generated 4,350 jobs, according to a study

on the foundation’s website. That works out to about 20 percent, or one in every five, of the 21,800 jobs added that year in the San Antonio metro area.

The city’s real power is in tending to the basics – insuring that neighborhoods and business districts are safe, that everyone has access to parks, libraries and other amenities, that the city’s investing in a multi-pronged transportation system. Add reasonable taxes and fees, a good public education system and a skilled workforce, and that’s what prospective employers want out of a city.

Incentives are on the list, too, but not at the top.

To be fair, Nirenberg talked about this reality in his State of the City speech, saying, “We want to [add 70,000 new jobs] by creating the kind of city that people will want to live in and move to.”

“And we’ll do it by insuring that San Antonio remains people-focused and business-friendly,” he added, “so that our regulatory environment encourages more investment, not less.”

He often makes the same point when discussing economic development and job growth in other settings.

But I can’t shake the feeling that his 70,000-jobs pledge served another purpose, apart from alluding to the need to work on the fundamentals and win business support.

Nirenberg has been a perpetual-motion machine when it comes to creating commissions, task forces and nonprofits to tackle San Antonio’s biggest challenges, including affordable housing, air service and transportation. He also conjured up an informal Blue Chip Jobs Council.

But he doesn’t have much to show for the first 10 months of his administration, and he hasn’t articulated a vision for San Antonio that excites people.

His jobs pledge is merely the appearance of dynamism, not the real thing. It’s hocus pocus.

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CALENDAR

BeBe Zahara Benet Within the unpredictable universe of RuPaul’s Drag Race, eccentric characters and outlandish surprises are par for the course, yet season one winner BeBe Zahara Benet stands out as an anomaly with a knack for keeping fans guessing. Born Nea Marshall Kudi Ngwa in the West African country of Cameroon, Benet got an early taste for drag modeling in a women’s fashion show while living in Paris but didn’t get fully immersed until relocating to Minneapolis — where her first official gig was performing at a Pride block party alongside Cyndi Lauper. Citing its vibrant and supportive arts and culture scene, Benet recently told Minnesota Monthly, “I’m glad I could start in a place like Minneapolis. I could define what BeBe Zahara Benet is all about before going out to other places.” Echoed by her chosen name, Benet infuses elements of African and French culture into performances that nod to Grace Jones, Diana Ross and Beyoncé, not to mention the tribal regalia of Broadway’s The Lion King. Since her 2009 win on what some have nicknamed the “Lost Season” of Drag Race, Benet has emerged as a recording artist, public speaker and event producer. Returning to the small screen this year on the third season of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, Benet got pegged as a mole for the judges after a fan’s Facebook comment blew up into a conspiracy theory. “I can see why some people believed it,” Benet told Billboard in March. “They didn’t want to believe that a queen who had already won the show was coming back into the WED competition. I think that fans felt threatened for the other competitors that they were rooting for.” When frontrunner BenDeLaCreme eliminated herself from the competition, Benet (who finished in the top four) turned that plot twist into a fullblown “face crack” by refusing to disclose which contestant she’d planned to send home (“That will always be a secret, honey”).

The subject of filmmaker Emily Branham’s forthcoming documentary Being BeBe, the “savage beauty” lands in the Alamo City for two performances at Heat, courtesy of Rey Lopez Entertainment. $10-$25, 10:30pm & midnight, Heat Nightclub, 1500 N. Main Ave., (210) 386-4537, reylopezentertainment.com.

— Bryan Rindfuss DRAG

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CALENDAR OUR TOP PICKS FOR THE WEEK

In all its bawdy irreverence, Cornyation acts as something of a common denominator during Fiesta, attracting everyone from young hipsters to old queens and anyone else in need of a good laugh. A tradition that dates back to 1951 — when the inaugural King Anchovy presided over the Court of the Cracked Salad Bowl at the Arneson River Theatre during NIOSA — Cornyation has morphed from a straight-up spoof of the elite Coronation of the Queen of the Order of the Alamo into a broader satire of local politics, public figures and national events that’s raised more than $2 million for HIV/AIDS charities. Inheriting a fierce throne from James Lawnmower Sales and Service proprietor Jeffrey James, entrepreneur/ restaurateur Charlie Biedenharn (Bakery Lorraine, Maybell’s Donuts) is set to rule over the Court of Frenetic Frantic Kingdoms during three nights of costumed lampoonery. In addition to inevitable donuts and macarons, this year’s Cornyation welcomes new emcees Lara Fischer and Dawn Brooks (taking the torch from the dynamic duo of Elaine Wolff and Rick Frederick), as well as returning favorites (including the beloved drag ensemble The Pointless Sisters and dancers from Ballet San Antonio) and playful jabs at the Main Strip’s proposed rainbow crosswalks, the gas shortage of 2017 and plenty in between. $15-$45, 7pm & 10pm Wed-Thu, Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, 226 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 226WED-THU 3333, fiestacornyation.org. — BR FIESTA

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Cornyation

FIESTA

CORONATION OF THE

QUEEN ORDER OF THE ALAMO

Special Guest

EMPIRE

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CURRENT • April 25-May 1, 2018 • sacurrent.com

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With San Antonio’s Tricentennial inspiring deeper looks into SAT myriad aspects of our city — from its multilayered history to its evolution and enduring landmarks — the Southwest School of Art stands out as a local treasure that’s adapted with changing times. Following its foundation as a nonprofit in 1965 and relocation to the historic Ursuline Convent and Academy in 1971, the SSA expanded its campus by taking over a Sears Automotive Center in 1998 and rolled out an “intimate, intensive college degree program” in 2014. Proudly the Lone Star State’s only independent art college, the SSA is about to unveil “All That Remains,” a collective senior thesis exhibition showcasing works by Gaby Borrego, Juan Zavala Castro, Ethan Gonzalez, Ayanna Sherri Denise Irek, Audrey LeGalley, Lauri Garcia Jones, Zachary Andrew Canestro Jones, Hailey Nichole Kuhn, Nicki Lucio, Abraham Alvarez Vasquez and Ali Wiesse. Following the big reveal, all 11 members of this “legacy class” will receive hand-lettered diplomas and medals (crafted in the school’s metals studio) at an inaugural commencement ceremony with remarks from SSA President Paula Owen, San Antonio Mayor Ron Nirenberg and noted artist Dario Robleto, among others. Free, opening reception 5:30-7:30pm, on view 9am-5pm MonSat, 11am-4pm Sun through May 20, Southwest School of Art, Santikos Exhibition Galleries, 1201 Navarro St., (210) 200-8200, swschool.org. — BR ART

THU

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Purple Rain Last Saturday marked one year since the world lost a musical and cultural icon of profound (and purple) proportions.

While Prince’s passing lingers in the national consciousness due to investigations into the nature of his death at age 57, most fans prefer to focus on the considerable legacy of his work.

Timed to loosely coincide with the anniversary of the superstar’s earthly demise — and as a part of the museum’s mission to present art that highlights the narratives of people of color, an area in which the film was ahead of its time — the McNay will host a screening of Purple Rain, the classic Prince film about a young performer named The Kid who struggles with his sense of self, his family, his love life, and his fledgling music career. Whether you’re already a fan of the movie or are in serious need of a re-education in its import and delightfulness, this screening seems like the ideal time and setting to spend a couple of hours with it. Free, 7-9pm, McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368, mcnayart.org. — James Courtney FILM

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Gina Brillon

FRI-SUN

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‘All That Remains’

COMEDY Called a “relatable performer with universal likability … both comfortable and comforting” by Rolling Stone, and “wonderful … amazing … fantastic” by Gabriel Iglesias, who produced her first special, Pacifically Speaking, stand-up Gina Brillon has the ability to make growing up as a Puerto Rican lady in the Bronx into an almost all-inclusive experience. Describing aggressive catcalling in a way that makes everyone laugh but also makes the perpetrators look ridiculous and desperate, and mapping the mysterious innerworkings of a woman’s mind in a way that makes so much sense but also reveals that it’s not so unlike a man’s, Brillon puts her humanity on full display in such a jovial way you might instantly forget you don’t know her personally. To laugh with her is to laugh at yourself and better understand both.

Upcoming projects cosigned by the likes of Horatio Sanz should ensure she’ll be much more famous very soon, and that will be a good thing for everyone. $17, 8pm & 10:15pm Fri-Sat, 8pm Sun, Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805, lolsanantonio.com.

— Jeremy Martin

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CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

David Sedaris

Fans of humorist, comedian, author and radio contributor David Sedaris, and those interested in literary canon-caliber, postmodern wit and insight in general, are in for a treat this weekend, as the author will visit to present all new readings, participate in a Q&A, and sign books. Sedaris’ career took off like a squirrel chasing a chipmunk after the airing of his radio essay “SantaLand Diaries” back in 1992. Since then Sedaris has written tons of pieces for radio and print, and has published more than 10 books, including such wildly popular titles as Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, and Squirrel Meets Chipmunk.

Sedaris’ style of nonfiction/creative memoir has drawn criticism from purists who have insisted that he shouldn’t be able to call his work nonfiction if he takes creative liberties, but the general reading public hardly cares about that. And why should they? Whatever the hell you choose to call Sedaris’ work, it’s hard to deny that his penetrating intellect mixed with his explosive and often self-excoriating sense of humor make for material that is, for its ability to approach the spectrum of contemporary American life in interesting and productive ways, as valuable as anything that could SUN pass full-on fact-checking. $50-$60, 3pm, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, tobincenter.org. — JC TALKS PLUS

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King William Fair King William Fair (and the Parade that kicks it off) has been a consistently growing fan favorite Fiesta event since 1968, when it began as a humble, one-block art exhibit. Now the event, the main fundraiser of the King William Association, which seeks to “preserve and protect the oldest historic district in Texas and promote the unique cultural heritage of San Antonio,” attracts tens of thousands of people each year. Its footprint, for one, is positively ideal, sprawling throughout a big slice of the historic neighborhood and running along the banks of the San Antonio River. Its mood, in classic King William style is irreverent, laid-back, artsy and family-friendly. The cold drinks for all ages flow and the food, mostly the typical Fiesta fare, with a few appropriately fancy/ quirky add-ons, is abundant. And King William Fair, perhaps more than any other Fiesta event, always has excellent and diverse programming in the entertainment department. Just a few of the performers, musical and otherwise, that you can look forward to at this year’s fair are poet Amanda Flores; magician/ventriloquist The Astonishing Mr. Pitts; Cynergy Dance Company, Guadalupe Dance Company, and Bedouin Dancers; the doggos of the Doggy Fashion Show; and musical acts Volcán, Demitasse, Henry Brun Quartet, Azul Barrientos, Los Nahuatlatos, Los #3 Dinners and the Tubameisters. $12-$15, 9am-6pm, King William Historic District, (210) 271-3247, kwfair.org. — JC FIESTA

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Los Tres Tristes Tigres Unless Donald Trump figures out a way to erect his big, beautiful, Mexico-funded wall on the border before this weekend, musical comedy trio Los Tres Tristes Tigres (say that three times fast) shouldn’t have a problem making their way to the Alamo City from their hometown of Monterrey, Nuevo León, to share their interactive brand of humor with a San Antonio audience — from original songs and parodies to monologues and sketch performances. In one of their corridos, “La Jaula de Trump” (a spin on Los Tigres del Norte’s “La Jaula de Oro”), Tigres members Pedro Palacios (guitar, lead vocals), Jesús Gallardo (accordion) and Erick Ibarra (bass), sing about their disappointment with the 2016 election of Trump, imagine the wall that the president wants to construct and wonder how they will be able to forget Wal-Mart and Disneyland when they are deported. Not everything the Mexicomedians sing about, however, is political. They also take the classic Spanish birthday song “Las Mañanitas” and rewrite it as “Mañanitas Fresas,” an ode to preppy, upper-class Mexicans. “Que te la pases de poca / En tu party super cool.” $35-$105, 7pm, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com. — Kiko Martinez MUSIC + COMEDY

Ah, remember the halcyon days of 2011, when the tackiest spectacle in America wasn’t the Trump administration? When we worried about intentionally gauche spectacle, such as the gloriously crass The Book of Mormon? Yes, turn back the sundial to that innocent, prelapsarian time, when art could actually outstrip Twitter in offensiveness, and revel in Trey Parker and Matt Parker’s brilliant evisceration of the most American religion this side of Capitalism: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As a musical, The Book of Mormon’s plot couldn’t be more unconventional: following the adventures of two hapless missionaries in Africa, it marries bright and sunny comedy tropes to the unlikeliest of topics, including AIDS, genocide, homophobia, and a harrowing descent to the very pit of Hell. (The catchy score is by Robert Lopez, who soon struck gold again with the scores to Frozen and Coco.) For BoM’s return to the Majestic Theatre, the tour features Kevin Clay and Connor Peirson, who have been racking up impressive critical accolades (San Antonio is next after whistle-stops in Austin and Oklahoma City). So grab your tickets to a profanity-laced evening that’s actually less abhorrent than Fox News, and escape our present nightmare with the unlikely salvation of The Book of Mormon. $39.25-$125.25, 7:30pm (continues through May 6), The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — Thomas Jenkins THEATER

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CALENDAR

FILM Freeword Brick hosts the premiere of an

independent film set in a future where poetry is criminalized and sold in the streets like drugs. At the screening: performances by local poets and music by DJ AlleyCat. $10, 7-10pm Thursday; Brick at Blue Star, 108 Blue Star, (830) 320-1045.

THEATER Hand to God Penned by Texan playwright

Robert Askins and set in a church basement in his native Cypress, Hand to God surrounds a seemingly innocent puppet class that steadily devolves into a deranged scenario riddled with obscenities, sex and violence. $20-$35, 7:30pm Friday-Saturday, 2pm Sunday; The Public Theater of San Antonio, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258.

Maks, Val & Peta: Confidential

Dancing With The Stars alums Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Val Chmerkovskiy and Peta Murgatroyd team up for a live show inspired by family life and love stories. $40-$95, 8pm Friday; The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333.

COMEDY Fiesta Comedy Explosion Puerto Rican

comic and actress Gina Brillon (see Top Picks) headlines a night of stand-up benefiting the Priest Holmes Foundation scholarship program. $27.50, 8pm Thursday; Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805.

Jess Hilarious Most recognized for her

appearances on MTV’s Wild and Out, single mom and Baltimore native Jess Hilarious takes a straightforward approach to comedy that’s earned her a fan base of more than 1 million Instagram followers. $30-$40, 7pm Tuesday; Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805.

SPECIAL EVENTS A Day in Old Mexico & Charreada For

the last six decades, the Asociación de Charros de San Antonio has championed charrería (often described as Mexican rodeo), competing throughout the year and attracting a diverse crowd each April with its beloved Fiesta event A Day in Old Mexico. Of the 10 official suertes (competitive roping and riding events performed in period costumes), the allfemale escaramuza easily stands out as a fan favorite. $5-$20, 3pm Sunday; Charro Ranch, 6126 Padre Drive, (210) 920-5365.

Battle of Flowers Parade Grand Marshaled by the entire Familia Cortez and following

a Tricentennial-inspired theme of “300 Timeless Treasures,” the 127th annual Battle of Flowers Parade features Fiesta royalty, local personalities and school groups atop elaborate floats celebrating such local icons as Market Square, Playland Park, Cool Crest and Mission Drive-In. $15$30, 9:30am-12:30pm, parade route (steps off from Broadway at E. Grayson St.), (888) 695-0888.

Battle of Flowers After Party The Pearl

caps off the 127th annual Battle of Flowers Parade with a free event emceed by Mr. Piñata with food and drink specials, beats

by Chulita Vinyl Club and live music by Latin folk-rocker Gina Chavez. Free, 12:305pm Friday; Pearl Brewery, 200 E. Grayson St., (210) 212-7260.

Battle of the Flowers Association Band Festival This 80th annual Fiesta

favorite showcases choreographed musical presentations by 30-plus high school bands. $5, 6:30-9:30pm Thursday; Alamo Stadium, 110 Tuleta Drive, (210) 554-2655.

Fiesta de los Reyes Among Fiesta’s

largest free events, the Rey Feo Consejo Educational Foundation’s Fiesta de los Reyes features daily live entertainment on multiple stages and more than 30 food booths. Free, 10am-midnight Wednesday-Sunday; Market Square, 514 W. Commerce St., (210) 207-8600.

Fiesta Flambeau Parade Billed as

“America’s largest illuminated night parade,” the Fiesta Flambeau returns to light up Fiesta with a 70th annual event led by mascot Torchy and the the University of Texas Longhorn Band. $16.50-$30, 6:45-10pm Saturday; parade route (steps off from Broadway at E. Grayson St.), (210) 364-5349.

Fiesta Pooch Parade Presented by the

nonprofit Therapy Animals of San Antonio, this 20th annual Fiesta event combines exhibits, presentations, a 2.6-mile walk through the tree-lined streets of Alamo Heights and a canine costume contest. $25-$30 (free for spectators), 7:45-11am Saturday; Alamo Heights Swimming Pool, 250 Viesca St., (210) 614-6734.

NIOSA Bring comfortable shoes, plenty of

cash and make sure you’ve got a meeting spot in mind when heading into La Villita for NIOSA. The 70th presentation of the San Antonio Conservation Society’s beloved bacchanal features 15 cultural areas filled with foods from across the globe, plenty of cerveza and music and dance performances from the likes of Cadence Cloggers, Karizma and Ravenmoor. $12-$15, 5:30-10:30pm Wednesday-Friday; La Villita, 418 Villita St., (210) 226-5188.

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sacurrent.com • April 25-May 1, 2018 • CURRENT 19

ARTS + CULTURE

IMAGES COURTESY OF CHEECH MARIN, THE ART MUSEUM OF SOUTH TEXAS AND THE UTSA ART COLLECTION

High Art

KIKO MARTÍNEZ

Clockwise from left: Cheech Marin; Mel Casas, Show of Hands; César Mártinez, Hombre que le Gustan las Mujeres; Adan Hernandez, La Sad Girl.

Cheech Marin shares thoughts on some of the San Antonio artists represented in his personal collection

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Although his name has been synonymous with tokin’ up doobies for the last 40 years in films like Up in Smoke and Still Smokin, actor and comedian Cheech Marin has also made a name for himself in an industry outside of hash bars and Hollywood.

Since discovering Chicano art in the mid-1980s, Marin has amassed what is considered the largest collection of its kind in the U.S. Currently, Marin is exhibiting artwork from 14 Texas artists, many of whom are from San Antonio, at the Art Museum of South Texas in Corpus Christi. The exhibition, “Los Tejanos: Chicano Art,” runs through April 29. Additionally, Marin’s “The Chicano Collection” (a portfolio of prints by Vincent Valdez, Mel Casas, Alex Rubio, Jesse Treviño and many more) is on view at Centro de Artes through June 10 as part of the sprawling exhibition “Voz: 20

CURRENT • April 25-May 1, 2018 • sacurrent.com

Selections from the UTSA Art Collection.”

Ahead of his visit to Pearl Stable on April 25 for San Antonio College’s “Chilaquiles con Cheech” Fiesta brunch, which is sold out but can be viewed via live stream at alamo. edu/sac/Cheech-Brunch, the Current caught up with Marin to chat about some of the San Antonio artists in his collection, and about smokin’ the wacky tobacky.

effort to keep an arts community together and prosperous.

That seems to be happening in South Texas right now. The art movement down there has been doing very well.

Tell me a little about some of the San Antonio artists in your collection and what resonated with you about their work. I’ll throw out a name — Mel Casas.

His sense of humor. He takes these really funny, ironic, Chicano angles with his work. For him, it’s really about simplifying those images and using text. He’s great. I like him a lot.

When you decide to purchase a piece of art, what do you look for? Is it as simple as finding something appealing to the eye or does it go beyond that?

I look for something that resonates with its time. San Antonio is one of the birthplaces of Chicano art. It reflects Adan Hernandez.

Chicano society and culture. It keeps growing and morphing Adan is from the dark heart of the barrio. He has his own and starts encompassing many, many more things. It’s an Chicano noir. He’s a really good painter and a true vato.

Clockwise from top left: a promotional photo for Cheech’s Private Stash; Jesse Treviño, Los Piscadores; Mel Casas, Baker’s Dozen; Marta Sanchez, La Danza.

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What about Alex Rubio?

[Laughs] He cracks me up. Every time I see him, I make him take off his sunglasses for one second. Then he puts them back on. He’s a good guy, has a great heart and a totally unique style.

He’s a mysterious, moving object, and I like that about him.

Vincent Valdez.

He’s a virtuoso. He’s doing very well because he’s got the talent and he puts in the work.

“Los Tejanos” is on exhibit 'til the end of the month. Why should people check it out?

It’ll make you feel emotions. What it is about the Chicano artists that I collect is that they can really, really paint. It’s like someone that can really, really play an instrument. It’s a talent that a lot of Chicanos display. If you want to see really good paintings, go see it.

Back in 1978 when you made Up in Smoke, did you ever think there would be a time when states in the U.S. were going to legalize marijuana for recreation?

I always thought that would happen eventually.

I just wish it happened sooner. We’ve reached the tipping point.

Clockwise from top left: Alex Rubio, La Lechuza; Vincent Valdez, Kill the Pachuco Bastard!; Adan Hernandez, La Estrella Que Cae.

Can you pinpoint when the tide changed? I mean, a recent survey shows 64 percent of

Americans support legalization. That wasn’t always the case.

The support built up over the years. It’s spread across more and more generations. It’s a worldwide culture. It was always a state of being — a state of mind. Also, it has all these medicinal qualities. It goes through every single stratum of society — top to bottom, up and down, east and west, north and south, every economic stratum, every political stratum.

There have been a lot of stoner movies to come out since Up in Smoke. Are there any that you’ve liked?

The Seth Rogen ones tend to be funny. The Farrelly brothers (Dumb & Dumber, There’s Something About Mary), although they’re not classified as stoners, have a stoner sensibility.

The Friday movies also crack me up.

When you think of celebrities and weed, names that come to mind are Willie Nelson, Snoop Dogg, Seth Rogen and you and Tommy Chong. How have you stayed in the conversation over the years?

We have two strains out there right now that are doing very well. We have Chong’s Choice and Cheech’s Private Stash. We keep up with all the strains all the time. That’s our guarantee for our brand that it will always be good. It won’t always be the same, but it will always be good. sacurrent.com • April 25-May 1, 2018 • CURRENT 23

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SCREENS

Artist’s Block SONY PICTURES CLASSICS

Final Portrait paints colorless, tedious picture of the creative process KIKO MARTÍNEZ

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While it’s usually never great to see “how the sausage is made” in most industries, there’s always been something intriguing — at least from a cinematic perspective — about peeking into the life of an artist and witnessing the inspiration, imagination and sometimes ugliness that permeates the creative process.

From the obsessed filmmaker Guido Anselmi (Marcello Mastroianni) in Federico Fellini’s 1963 surreal Italian classic 8½ to last year’s neurotic dressmaker Reynolds Woodcock (Daniel Day-Lewis) in Paul Thomas Anderson’s romantic, stylish and strange drama Phantom Thread, watching masters at work (or in pain from their inability to create) makes for some fascinating substance for character analysis.

It’s especially true when documentarians are able to identify a compelling subject whose passion for their craft knows no limits, and details something as specialized as video-game design (Indie Game: The Movie) or method acting (Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond) or even preparing sushi (Jiro Dreams of Sushi). The subgenre is one that extends across countless disciplines – none as tempestuous as visual art.

Although the tortured artist is a cliché, a number of biopics and docs such as Basquiat, Pollack, Ai Wei Wei: Never Sorry and Gerhard Richter Painting, have proven that each of these artists’ insights are worthy of a deep dive into learning what makes them tick. The same can’t be said, unfortunately, about Final Portrait, a shallow, BritishAmerican drama that offers no real substance behind the paper-thin narrative and characters presented by Oscarnominated actor-turned-filmmaker Stanley Tucci (The Lovely Bones).

In his first foray into the director’s chair in more than a

decade, Tucci explores the connection between Swiss painter and sculptor Alberto Giacometti (Geoffrey Rush) and American writer James Lord (Armie Hammer), who poses as a model inside Alberto’s Paris studio in 1964.

“You’re my husband’s next victim,” Alberto’s wife Annette (Sylvie Testud) tells James on the first day he steps into the studio for what is supposed to be a three-hour sitting.

A few hours, however, drag on for nearly three weeks as Alberto, surrounded by dusty sculptures and picturesque albeit dreary production design, transforms into a selfdoubting, hopeless curmudgeon who curses at his canvas as much as he actually puts paint on it and delivers empty dialogue like “It’s gone too far; same time, not far enough” when he makes a breakthrough. James is also introduced to Caroline (Clémence Poésy), a pretty prostitute Alberto considers his muse and “nighttime companion.”

Alberto is a frustrating character, which was probably Tucci’s desire from the get-go, but the repetition in his process, or lack thereof, which spins in a loop from self-deprecating to compulsive to selfish, also twists him into a fairly unlikeable human being. Rush plays it with compassion much like he did in his Oscar-winning role in 1996’s Shine, but it’s a move that would only be helpful to the story if Hammer’s portrayal of James balanced it in a way audiences could feel a real relationship was present or at least forming.

Sadly, Hammer is a blank slate — a wet napkin dressed in a blue blazer and tie, sitting on a rickety wicker chair watching Alberto dip his brush into gray paint. He’s an emotionally absent pushover, and none of it is very revealing or in the interest of either gentleman.

In fact, around day 12, James, through some ineffective voiceover narration, says the

time he has spent with Alberto has put a “psychological strain” on him. However, Tucci, who adapted the script from Lord’s memoir A Giacometti Portrait, never gives an indication that James is stressed about the situation he has found himself in. Instead of just telling audiences that the prolonged art project is driving him nuts, it would have been beneficial to see something expressed on James’ perfect face. In Final Portrait, Hammer adequately plays what is ultimately the equivalent of a bowl of fruit.

Aside from a couple of short, thought-provoking discussions between James and Alberto about suicide and artists stealing ideas from each other, not much is memorable during their studio time. What we’re left with is Alberto scowling at his work, threatening to abandon the portrait, smoking, yelling “fuck” a lot, burying his head in his hands in complete anguish and going for occasional walks.

At one point, Alberto declares that “portraits have no meaning,” to which James questions with, “So, what we’re doing is meaningless?” As a moviegoer watching Final Portrait, that thought rings true. sacurrent.com • April 25-May 1, 2018 • CURRENT 25

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'influencer' And other things I like to bitch about JESS ELIZARRARAS | @JESSELIZARRARAS

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JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

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It’s an interesting moment in restaurant ownership. With as many openings as San Antonio sees these days, it’s easy to get lost in the noise.

Often, a restaurant owner is tasked with managing the kitchen, paying staff, handling bills, taking care of emergencies, playing host, and somehow finding time to advertise and market whatever the restaurant offers.

At the end of the day, a restaurant is still a business.

Some are big businesses that can afford public relations firms that are responsible for dispersing loads of information about new events, new dinners, and new menu items. But more often than not, restaurateurs can’t afford monthly retainers when profits are already razor thin. And not all restaurant owners are social-media savvy entrepreneurs who can create polished Facebook pages, answer every direct message, shoot impeccable food photography and direct engaging Instagram stories.

Enter the influencer.

Urban Dictionary’s definition leans a tad salty when describing this new-ish phenom of a social-media personality: “A makeup, hairstyle, or fashion blogger who is instafamous only on Instagram or buys ‘followers’ and ‘likes’ and gets free products from companys [sic] who fall in their trap of fake fame.

Jeff: ‘So, what do you do for a living?’

Becky: ‘I’m an influencer, I have 200k followers.’”

In the last handful of years, companies have spent however much money and given away products and food

essentially advertising with influencers across the country in an effort to make a splash in the social-media landscape.

For now, let’s just put aside the fake follower argument that has plagued enough large companies, celebrities and influencers to necessitate a profile on the New York Times and, most recently, Ad Age. When it comes to restaurants, “media events” are now flooded with good amateur photographers who share to their curated, thematic platforms, about whatever new product/menu/event is hot right now.

I joined Instagram six years ago because the app provided a great respite from the snarkiness of Twitter and awkwardness of Facebook (though Zuck and co. have owned Instagram since 2012). The platform was good for creative expression, and played a huge part in promoting #bodypositivity and representation for all sizes. It’s still one of my favorite apps, but I’ve learned to discern the information being funneled my way, especially now that the algorithm handles when I see things.

At more than 6,000 followers, I understand I’m not a traditional user, but I cringe at being called an influencer. I don’t take money for posts. I try not to stage food unless the plate is from an editorial photo shoot (you know, for

the newsweekly I work for, that pays me), and unless it’s a restaurant opening, the amount of “media dinners” – can we just call them influencer parties? – I attend has dwindled. I like my food hot and not usually the subject of several photo shoots before it hits the table. After all, the number one rule of staging food is you don’t eat it after the fact.

This isn’t about vilifying influencers who genuinely want to share an excellent dining experience. Or the ones that get paid to do so — good for you! But food, especially the comforting kind, isn’t always photogenic. And restaurants aren’t always the most aesthetically pleasing places. And along those same lines, photogenic food isn’t always amazing, and a perfectly styled restaurant might not always have the best service.

The “media dinner,” most often free of charge, won’t go away, nor does it have to. But just like it was once a thrill to “discover” a new restaurant as a food writer, these days, my thrill lies in sharing why a restaurant, bar, server, bartender, cook, dishwasher, dish, drink or what-have-you is great — not just trying to figure out what witty caption to put under its photo.

I’m not an influencer, but I can still share your story, and that should be worth something. — Jess Elizarraras, flavor@sacurrent.com.

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FOOD

A NEW TAKE ON TEX-MEX

JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

With second book, Vianney Rodriguez tackles slow cooker takes on a beloved cuisine

JESS ELIZARRARAS | @JESSELIZARRARAS

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For Vianney Rodriguez, completing her second cookbook wasn’t just difficult — it nearly killed her.

The wife, mother of two and award-winning blogger, who is currently promoting the release of said book, says the yearlong process was arduous. Translating recipes from the stovetop or grill to the slow cooker, and testing each recipe at least three times (six for the carne guisada), isn’t for the faint of heart.

And though NBC’s This Is Us would have you believe that slow cookers are dangerous, they're not. And for Rodriguez, her slow cooker could and should catapult her and Tex-Mex cuisine into the spotlight.

But getting to the sleek new hardcover emblazoned with tomatillos also meant skipping two rounds of edits due to Hurricane Harvey.

As the Category 4 hurricane barreled to shore this past August, Rodriguez and her family, along with their pair of 80-pound pit bulls, evacuated their fourbedroom home in Aransas Pass for the safety of Driscoll inside a two-bedroom home Rodriguez was converting into a workspace.

“I was in the process of turning that into a sweet life studio where I could shoot my pictures and do all my cooking and leave all the props there,” Rodriguez said.

When the storm passed, Rodriguez and Co. ventured back to Aransas Pass a week and a half later to take stock of the damage.

“The city had already marked it unlivable … the roof over my daughter’s room had collapsed,” Rodriguez said. “We went into the backyard, and it was like all my trees were asleep. They were pulled from the root."

Her editor shipped a hardcopy of the book to Rodriguez in Driscoll, where she still had no Internet, and the book was completed after her edits were made.

“It was the last beautiful thing I created in my home,” Rodriguez said during her San Antonio book launch.

It’s easy to see why The Tex-Mex Slow Cooker: 100 Delicious Recipes for Easy Everyday Meals took a toll on

Serves 6 2 cups whole milk ½ cup freshly grated piloncillo (see note) 2 (4-inch) cinnamon sticks 1 whole star anise 1 Mexican chocolate disc (I recommend Abuelita or Ibarra) 4 large eggs 8 conchas (see note), cut into cubes 1 cup slivered almonds 1 cup raisins

MEXICAN CHOCOLATE PAN DULCE BREAD PUDDING

>

My family is addicted to conchas: they’re light, fluffy, and oh-so-sweet. Pan dulce is our go-to Sunday morning treat; that’s why I knew my family would love this super fun and special twist on classic bread pudding.

Note: Conchas are Mexican sweet breads (pan dulce) that get their name from the crumbly sweet topping placed over the bread in a shell-like pattern. In English, concha means “shell.”

Note: Piloncillo, or panela, is

its author. Photos are impeccably staged, and recipes share a bit of history from Rodriguez’s family, and that of most of South Texas.

Not everything was transformed as Tex-pats might remember. Instead of chiles rellenos, Rodriguez turned the dish into a casserole. But the basics are there.

The recipes are easy to follow and ingredients can be sourced at most Mexican or Latin American shops in the cities she’ll tour this spring. But she notes where to look online for ingredients that won’t be easily found in stores otherwise, such as hibiscus or guava.

Chapters are broken down into appetizers, main courses, salsas and sides, desserts (created in part with daughter Angelica Maria, who will attend the Culinary Institute of AmericaSan Antonio in the fall), and, of course, beverages and cocktails.

What The Tex-Mex Slow Cooker does well is introduce ingredients and methods for a maligned cuisine that isn’t always smothered in cheese.

Her recipe for lengua (beef tongue) makes the otherwise icky offal accessible. And the Mexican chocolate pan dulce bread pudding helps add a twist to conchas.

Though the book is relatively easy to follow, she does note patience as the key ingredient in one specific section: rice.

“People get antsy and pick up the lid and let out the heat it needs to cook-through,” Rodriguez said.

an unrefined Mexican sugar that can be found in Latin markets. It’s sold in cones, blocks, or round discs; I suggest using a box grater to grate piloncillo.

Liberally spray a slow-cooker liner with nonstick cooking spray.

well combined.

Place half of the concha cubes in a slow cooker and add half of each of the almonds and the raisins. Top with half of the milk mixture and then press down on the cubes with the back of a spoon, ensuring the cubes are fully submerged.

Combine the milk, piloncillo, cinnamon, and star anise in a saucepan over medium heat and bring to a simmer.

Immediately remove from the heat, remove and discard the cinnamon and star anise, and add the chocolate disc.

Whisk vigorously until all of the chocolate dissolves. Set aside to cool completely.

Once the milk mixture is cool, add the eggs and whisk until

Add a second layer of the remaining concha cubes and add the remaining almonds and raisins. Top with the remaining milk mixture and then press down on the cubes with the back of a spoon, ensuring the cubes are fully submerged. Cover and cook for low for 4 hours, or until all of the milk is absorbed and the center is set.

Serve warm.

sacurrent.com • April 25-May 1, 2018 • CURRENT 29

Bites From

Cover 3 | Magnolia Pancake Haus | Eggspectation | The Art of Donut | First Watch | grayze toro kitchen + bar |the original rudy’s country store & bbq | ming’s thing | range |botika culinary institute of america | southerleigh fine food & brewery + More confirmed daily!

Limited Early Bird Tickets available | prices increase saturday, april 28

Purchase tickets at brunch.sacurrent.com

30

CURRENT • April 25-May 1, 2018 • sacurrent.com

BEN OLIVO

TIPPLE TEST

NIGHTLIFE

Boiler House holds mighty fine happy hour

BEN OLIVO

>

When it comes to the Pearl, and whether cheap food and drinks can be had there, Cured’s happy hour seems to garner all of the acclaim.

Rightfully so. It’s where I prefer to destroy my liver while ingesting the Pearl’s fancy food.

I didn’t know about the Boiler House’s happy hour, though. This upscale grill, opened in 2012, boasts a really good happy hour that doesn't seem to be widely known.

And if the purpose of a good happy hour is to cram a little sustenance in your belly while reaching a semi-buzzed state

— all for under $20 or so — Boiler House does a fine job.

For starters, happy hour runs from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Monday through Friday — which, for office workers, may not be the best times. But for the unemployed and the tourists who were there during my visit, you’ve got all day!

The menu’s simple: just think six. Cocktails and appetizers are $6, as are select reds and whites, champagne and rosé. No beer.

Sitting at the bar, surrounded by tall, 130-year-old brick walls (this once was the Pearl Brewery’s boiler room, in

ERIN WINCH

COCKTAIL OF THE WEEK

ERIN WINCH

Barbaro's "When Roy Gets Back"

≥

case you hadn’t put two and two together) and industrialstyle accents (caged light fixtures shoot down toward the bar), I ordered the house margarita. The bartender said it would be refreshing on this stuffy early-April day. And it was. Served in a smaller cocktail glass and on the rocks, the marg was strong and hit the spot.

For food, I ordered the deviled ham ‘n’ eggs and the crunchy chicharrones. Both were satisfying. The deviled eggs were so stuffed that they spilled upon handling, and I needed a fork to finish them. The three egg-halves were topped with sliced cornichons, a lemon aioli, and black pepper ranch. A small salad in the middle of the plate made this a great deal.

The chicharrones were excellent. A small pile of the skins was dusted with guajillo chili powder and sprinkled with lime and crumbles of queso fresco. On the side were a couple more lime slices and a ramekin of house hot sauce for dipping.

Capping the visit was the bourbon and apples cocktail, a warm and cinnamon-y concoction that seemed out of season, but was good, so who cares?

While not at the level of Cured (the absence of beer was a turnoff). Boiler House’s happy hour is still very much worth mentioning among food and drink deals at the Pearl.

312 Pearl Pkwy., Building 3, (210) 354-4644.

Is there any better way to show your respect for a fellow bartender than by naming a cocktail in his honor? Barbaro’s new cocktail menu features concoctions created

by Steven Santillan, with one drink that does just that. Santillan, previously the manager at Hot Joy and Esquire Tavern, is the latest bar manager at the neighborhood pizza joint.

The recently launched menu features 10 new cocktails, including a kale cocktail and a milk punch on tap! One of the menu’s highlights is the “When Roy Gets Back,” a combination of Espadin mezcal, sherry, Aperol, a grapefruit oleo, and a saline solution. The drink is a riff on an old favorite that used to be on the menu, Roy’s Hot Dog, named after San Antonio barman Roy Guerrero. Guerrero, a friend and fellow co-worker of Santillan, moved to San Diego last year.

“The drink was intended to remind him

that his San Antonio family misses him and he is always welcome back,” Santillan said.

Roy’s Hot Dog featured Campari, Cynar and mezcal, and was decidedly boozy. In “When Roy Gets Back,” Santillan’s use of saline gives the cocktail depth, and hints at a cocktail culture hopefully shifting from sweet to savory ingredients.

The cocktail can be made with a beautiful flower grapefruit garnish upon request, though a single grapefruit rind is the more traditional accompaniment. The “When Roy Gets Back” is $10 during normal hours, or half off during happy hour, which runs from 3-6 p.m. daily.

2720 McCullough Ave., (210) 320-2261 Erin Winch writes about boozin’ in the Alamo City on her blog Drinking In SA. Follow her on Instagram at @drinking.in.sa for more.

sacurrent.com • April 25-May 1, 2018 • CURRENT 31

events

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803 S ST. MARY’S STREET | CALL:210.369.9192 | FRANCISBOGSIDE.COM| 32

CURRENT • April 25-May 1, 2018 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

≥

Smiling Sin,

Reluctant Repentance JAMES COURTNEY

think most people call that inspiration. It, of course, comes out differently, but like most songwriters, you can hear the influences.”

And that’s the situation here: you can hear Buffkin’s influences, but much less so than before. He has taken his considerable talents and his influences and forged his own sound(s) from that raw material.

In other words, a question once posed by then-Current music editor Enrique Lopetegui about Buffkin’s sound, “Where’s D.T. Buffkin?,” now has its definitive answer: he’s right fuckin’ here.

Buffkin, who describes the whole album as being about “sin and salvation” through the lens of “Saturday night juke joint tunes and Sunday morning hymns, or [his] version

D.T. Buffkin’s new LP is alive with timeless themes, San Anto feels of them,” took his time with this album, allowing a variety of inspirations to guide him and finding the ideal sonic vehicles through which to deliver his ideas.

The album is out on May 5 on Shotgun House Records, and the bill for the release show, which also marks the release of Garrett T. Capps’ (also really fucking good) In the Shadows (Again), reads like a then-and-now who’s-who in San Antostyled sounds (see below for full, bonkers lineup). Buffkin reports that his band will back Meyers for his set and Myers will return the favor and play with Buffkin and company for theirs.

All in all, it promises to be a night of unique symbiosis in song, of generations

and musical traditions fusing, and of forging brand-new common ground. But, even if you’re not sentimental about that type of shit, it’s the kind of party that you just shouldn’t miss.

Cinco de Mayo Tex-Mex Fiesta w/ Garrett T. Capps, D.T. Buffkin, Augie Meyers, Flaco Jiménez, Santiago Jiménez Jr., El Campo, Los #3 Dinners, Topo Chica, The Shut Ups, and Pochos Chidos Free 4pm-11pm Paper Tiger 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. papertigersatx.com.

sacurrent.com • April 25-May 1, 2018 • CURRENT 33

JOHN NEWSOM

When I first heard local singer-songwriter D.T. Buffkin perform, sometime before the 2013 release of his first album Tattooed Rose, I was intrigued and slightly annoyed by his Tom Waits-meetsLouis Armstrong singing style. But, more importantly, I was struck by the nonchalantly penetrating character of his songs and his dead-serious devotion to his craft.

Over the years, Buffkin’s singing style has evolved and his knack for songwriting has only gotten sharper. On his genre-jumping, sprawling, and ultimately superb new album Saturday Night, Sunday Morning, Buffkin’s tender growl is often reigned in, sweetened and in some cases outright replaced by an easygoing twang—and the songs are devastating in a manner that makes me long for oblivion (in a good way).

When I caught up with Buffkin last week, he admitted that for a while he had been on a huge “Satchmo/Tom Waits kick” and that he “started listening to a lot of Merle Haggard and realized that the rough, bawdy barroom imagery [he] was so fascinated with was a bit of a put-on.” As his influences and inspirations, or “musical father figures” as Buffkin calls them, have shifted, so too has Buffkin’s sound (from his voice to the musical style of his songs).

“Haggard opened the door to the idea of the song telling the story, not just the identity of the vocalist, real or imagined,” Buffkin mused.

Generally speaking, Saturday Night, Sunday Morning is more diverse than Tattooed Rose, in all its old-timey, prerock, piano bar glory, would have ever even wanted to be – and it’s a damn sight more San Antone, too. Not only does the album feature goddamn Augie Meyers (no introduction needed for anyone who gives a shit), but it includes nods to some of SA’s favorite places, people, and genres.

“Rollin’ Too Hard” is puro West Side Soul, with the refined growl serving Buffkin especially well. “Houston St.” (the track that features Meyers on accordion) is a sweet and silky Texas moonlight groove.

“Doin’ Life” is a beautifully melancholy, gently jazzy, piano-driven affair, and “Does She Drink?,” “Play Another Sad Song,” and “Today Was a Liquor Store” (far and away the album’s crowning moment) are all honky-tonk-ready country tunes. There’s so much to keep you listening to this album, no matter what mood or SA neighborhood you happen to be in.

“My approach to songwriting involves obsessing over and ingesting as much of a particular artist or group as I can and then trying to write something that can stand up next to their work,” he offered. “I

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CURRENT • April 25-May 1, 2018 • sacurrent.com

FEATURE: MUSIC MUSIC

SANFORD NOWLIN

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FRI., APR 27• DOORS: 8PM/ SHOW: 9PM MAY 4 • LYLE LOVETT & HIS LARGE BAND

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ADIOS FIESTA BASH WITH RUBEN V & JIMMY SPACEK

MAY 5 • WAYNE “THE TRAIN” HANCOCK

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SUN., APR 29 • DOORS: 2PM/ SHOW: 3PM

SAMANTHA SCHULTZ & TREY MACIAS APRIL 25 • 10PM-1AM • FREE

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CURRENT • April 25-May 1, 2018 • sacurrent.com

312 PEARL PARKWAY

FEATURE: MUSIC MUSIC

CONTINUED ON PAGE 39 ►

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CURRENT • April 25-May 1, 2018 • sacurrent.com

FEATURE: MUSIC MUSIC

Top: Mike Cortes of Aggravator says San Antonio's old-school metal scene helped form his musical tastes. Below:Aggravator performs at the Muskelrock Festival in Sweden.

sacurrent.com • April 25-May 1, 2018 • CURRENT 39

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CURRENT • April 25-May 1, 2018 • sacurrent.com

facebook/industry210 Rihann a Nite FreeMARGARITA Reservation T. 374-2765 DAY

LOWER CLASS BRATS / THE OLD FIRM CASUALS/ CONCRETE ELITE

MUSIC

MP

WED

25

MUSIC PICKS

25-27

Post-punk revivalists DIIV (pronounced “dive”) might be your favorite new band you’ve never heard of. Formed in 2011, the five-piece Brooklynbased group writes music that, while definitely falling into the post-punk genre, have a psychedelic element to their music that’s unique, spacey and danceable as hell. Also on the bill, which is sort of a Levitation spill-over show since both bands will be playing the four-day fest this weekend, is JJUUJJUU, a krautrock meets stoner rock meets indie prog rock band that will make you think you’re on acid, or remind you that yeah, you’re definitely on acid. 8pm, Paper Tiger. $15-$17, 8pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com. – CC THU

26

Weird Al Yankovic burst onto the scene over three decades ago and has become a cult-classic favorite to audiences across the world. For the first time in his storied career, the “Amish Paradise” singer says that his 2018 North American tour will be a “no frills” experience featuring obscure songs and lack of props, costumes, and video screens to, we guess, get a closer look at the real Weird Al? The Ridiculously SelfIndulgent, Ill-Advised Vanity Tour will be coming to the Tobin Center on Thursday, April 26, in what is sure to be … entertaining to say the least. But who actually knows what to expect from a dude who recently released a greatest hits collection called Medium Rarities, which features no actual hits (lol, oh Al). $35-$55, 8pm, The Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org. – CC THU

26

Weird Al Yankovic

COURTESY OF WEIRD AL YANKOVIC

JOYCE KIM

DIIV + JJUUJJUU

DENIS MAKARENKO/SHUTTERSTOCK

COURTESY OF WHITE MOUNTAIN AGENCY

Siesta Fest

Ok, so we’re literally blasting Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” in the office right now, and that shit still goes hard af. And ya know, I don’t mind that this is becoming a trope. San Antonio loves the ’90s – fuck it. We live for that shit. And there’s definitely worse shit out there that we could be into, so we’re just gonna let ourselves live, mkay? Our next fix of 1990s nostalgia comes in the form of Coolio and Naughty by Nature, who will be headlining the bill on Wednesday at this year’s Siesta Fest at Alamo City Music Hall. Back for its twelfth year, Siesta Fest is the annual musical takeover of Fiesta with three days of rock ‘n’ roll and hip-hop – all during our citywide excuse-for-being-drunk-for-two-weeks-straight celebration of, well, San Antonio. The event was started by Alamo City Music Hall owner Sylvia Fernandez and the late 210 Kapones owner Pete L. Gonzalez Jr., who was killed outside his club in 2015. The Spazmatics, who play ’80s hits like A-ha’s “Take on Me” and Devo’s “Whip It,” will headline Thursday night with “Take Me Home Tonight” singer Eddie Money closing out the show Friday. $20-$85, 6pm, Alamo City Music Hall, 1305 E. Houston St., alamocitymusichall.com. – CC WED - FRI

sacurrent.com • April 25-May 1, 2018 • CURRENT 41

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CURRENT • April 25-May 1, 2018 • sacurrent.com

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MUSIC

There’s definitely something vintage and cool about The Nude Party, a six-piece rock ‘n’ roll outfit who self-describes themselves as “boner pop.” While fans of The Growlers, The Oblivians, La Luz, Night Beats, and King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard would probably be into these folks, The Nude Party blend a mix of Americana twang and Folk into their sound, which might actually be a recipe for long-term success. $10, 8pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com – CC THU

Zoé

A titanic if too-often overlooked force in the Latinx rock milieu since at least 2001, Mexican band Zoé crafts music that is a huge and heady blend of alternative rock, neo-psychedelic rock, and space rock. If that kind of thing sounds like your bag, then now is the perfect time to catch this band live. Thursday’s show at Aztec will come just seven days after Zoé drops its sixth LP Aztlán. While the band’s entire catalog has that transcendent, mood-altering ability that is the hallmark of all great space rock outfits, the five-piece seems to get better at being themselves with each successive album. Aztlán, which will likely feature heavily at the band’s SA show, has been described by the band as their most activist, political work to date. Zoé, it seems, wouldn’t have felt right letting the current U.S. leadership’s policies and rhetoric towards Mexico go unaddressed on its new album. $45-$110.62, 8pm, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com. – James Courtney THU

26

COOURTESY OF STRANGE FAMOUS RECORDS

COURTESY OF THE NUDE PARTY

26

COURTESY OF ZOÉ

The Nude Party

Epic Beard Men (B. Dolan + Sage Francis)

B. Dolan and Sage Francis, two indie rap stalwarts who have been repping their shared hometown of Providence, Rhode Island, since the 1990s, listen to their fans. Case in point: after numerous online campaigns and fan suggestions, the two, who have frequently worked together and who both make music for Francis’ Strange Famous Records, have decided to join forces under the tongue-in-cheek moniker Epic Beard Men (a riff on the two emcees’ prominent facial feature). After a Christmas-time single and a fuckin’ dope debut album (Season 1) that dropped in March, it’s clear that this partnership is no joke. Each of these rappers can hold his own with anyone, but together they are a true force to be reckoned with. Locals Ghost Palace and Chris Conde (full disclosure: he writes for the Current when he’s not spitting bars) will open. $15, 7pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com. – JC FRI

27

Judas Priest Sound the alarm, San Antonio. A metal band from the past is coming to town and it’s none other than “Breaking the Law” boys Judas Priest. The Firepower 2018 Tour will make its final stop at the Freeman Coliseum in support of the album Firepower, which is due in early 2018. The tour will feature the line-up of singer Rob Halford, guitarists Glenn Tipton and Richie Faulkner, bassist Ian Hill, and drummer Scott Travis. And since we turn up for old-school metal here in San Antonio, this probably is a show you’re not going to want to miss. Tuesday, May 1, $47.50-$127.50, Freeman Coliseum, 3201 E. Houston Street, (210) 226-1177, freemancoliseum.com – CC

DEBBY WONG/SHUTTERSTOCK

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MUSIC

MUSIC CALENDAR WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25 Storytime with Jamie Lin Wilson and Drew Kennedy When describing Jamie Wilson’s voice, two aspects come to mind: that honeyed tenor twang that’s become known as one of the sweetest instruments in modern folk music, and that poignant, poetic, down-to-earth point of view she brings to her songwriting. $12-$45.

Sam’s Burger Joint, 7:30pm.

The Lone Bellow Indie folk group from Brooklyn began as a songwriting project for Zach Williams, whose wife had suffered temporary paralysis following a horseback riding accident. During his wife’s recovery, Williams coped with the experience by writing in a journal. At the urging of his friends, Williams learned how to play the guitar and turned his journal entries into songs. The group is joined by special guest Devon Gilfillian from Nashville. $18-$79. John T Floore’s Country Store, 7pm.

Something4Someone Acoustic pop solo artist performs alongside alternative pop punk duo Helix Theory, three piece reggae rock group Kairos and indie rock trip Lemon Disco. $5.

Imagine Books and Records, 8pm.

THURSDAY, APRIL 26

SATURDAY, APRIL 28

12th Annual Siesta Fest-Spazmatics 12th Annual Siesta Fest is hosting the Spazmatics, a popular, energetic 80s cover band. $20$85. Alamo City Music Hall & Club, 6pm.

Carlton Zeus South Texas Mexican-American hip-hop artist Carlton Zeus will take the stage with special guests Pinata Protest, a local punk band, alternative rock band Hydra Melody and more. RSVP. The Mix, 8pm.

The Blues Lawyer Live blues from the Blues Lawyer every Thursday at Hidden Tavern. The band will perform covers from Clapton, BB King, Muddy Waters, and other musicians.

Free. Hidden Tavern, 8-10pm.

Cody Joe Hodges Small-town country boy from Caldwell delivers an evening of toe-tapping originals. Fitzgerald’s Bar & Live Music, 8pm-2am.

The Four Freshman Male quartet that blends open-harmonic jazz arrangements with the big band vocal group sounds of The Modernaires (Glenn Miller), The Pied Pipers (Tommy Dorsey), and The Mel-Tones (Mel Tormé, Artie Shaw), founded in the barbershop tradition. The Four Freshmen is considered a vocal band because the singers accompany themselves on guitar, horns, bass, and drums, among other instrumental configurations. $25. Jazz, TX, 6&9pm.

Lloronas San Antonio neo-aggressive pop punk female-fronted band takes the stage with thrashpop band Blankside and Lucy Petra. $2. Bottom Bracket Social Club, 10pm.

Ruby & The Boys Bringing their favorite jazz standards and retro pop fusion to Francis Bogside. Francis Bogside, 10pm-midnight Tommy Castro and the Painkillers Blazing soul-blues rocker Tommy Castro’s musical roots run deep. As he unleashes his highenergy music to fans all over the world, Castro is inspired by the sounds he absorbed while coming of age on the rough and tumble side of San Jose, California. $17-$70. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm.

FRIDAY, APRIL 27 The Aaron Prada Trio Trio Featuring local jazz artists Adam Carillo, Chris Villanueva, Mike Porter and Brandon Guerra. $5. Jazz, TX, 5:30-7:30pm.

Davey Performing a mixture of blues, rock, and classic Americana tunes. Free. Quarry Hofbrau, 10pm-1am.

David Byrne The “Psycho Killer” singer is about to embark on a solo tour kicking off this March in New Jersey.The tour will make a stop in the Alamo City in support of a new album American Utopia, released this past March – his first album since 2004’s Grown Backwards. “We’ll be doing some new songs… and many others that will, I assume, be familiar. I’m excited,” said Byrne in a press release. “This is the most ambitious show I’ve done since the shows that were filmed for ‘Stop Making Sense,’ so fingers crossed.” $39-$100 (Sold Out), Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 8pm.

Fire & Ice - A Tribute to Pat Benatar Tribute band covering all Pat Benatar with special guest Nimrod, a Tribute to Green Day. $7.

Sam’s Burger Joint, 9pm.

The Cosmic Clash presents: Cosmic Unity Fueled by Grrrl Power San Antonio and Austin bringing guests together for a day of celebration and unity through music. The performance lineup includes Semihelix, Ila Minori, Kay Odyssey, Cecilia and The Broken Hearts, Chris Conde, and much more. This show invites guests of all ages. $7. La Botánica, 3-10pm.

Doc Watkins and His Orchestra South Texas jazz musician Brent “Doc” Watkins and his orchestra perform live. $30. Jazz, TX, 8:3011:30pm.

Hip Hop Fiesta 2018 Annual hip-hop Fiesta event showcasing San Antonio’s hip-hop emcees, producers and djs. The event will also showcase live art and local vendors. $3.

Hi-Tones, 9pm-2am.

Josh Ward Country music traditionalist Josh Ward has a unique, almost untouchable voice that grabs your attention. Just a few songs into a set and you will see just why Josh turns heads everywhere he performs. Josh is joined on stage by the Drew Fish band. $12-$15.

John T Floore’s Country Store, 7pm.

Rævolution World Tour Performing a mixture of rock and indie tunes. $10. Fitzgerald’s Bar & Live Music, 8 p.m.-2 a.m.

Right on Red Hailing from Somerville, the band is known for it’s original modern rock tunes.

Free. Quarry Hofbrau, 10pm-1am.

SUNDAY, APRIL 29 Festival de Cascarones feat. Secondhand Serenade & Blue Water Highway Enjoy the official Fiesta Finale at Texas A&M University-San Antonio where indie rock band Secondhand Serenade and Blue Water Highway will perform hits over multiple albums. Free. Texas A&M University-San Antonio, 1-8pm.

Los Tres Triste Tigres Musical comedy trio whose show consists of original songs and parodies preceded by fun preambles, monologues and routines. During the show, the trio interacts with the crowd ensuring the performance is catered to each audience. $35-$75. Aztec Theatre, 7pm.

Nick Hakim For singer-songwriter Nick Hakim, it all started in Jamaica Plains, Mass., with collaborators Naima and Solo Woods.

There, he put the finishing touches on his breakthrough EP’s Where Will We Go Pt. I & II, which would later release through his Earseed Records and earn critical praise from NPR and The New York Times. $13. Paper Tiger, 7pm.

Tesseract British progressive metal group with special guest Plini and Astronoid. $22.50.

Alamo City Music Hall & Club, 6pm.

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I’m a straight male in my 30s.

I’ve been with my wife for 12 years. I have had several affairs. Not one-night-stand scenarios, but longer-term connections. I didn’t pursue any of these relationships.

Instead, women who knew I was in an “exclusive” relationship have approached me. These have included what turned into a one-year affair with a single woman, a three-year affair with a close friend of my wife, a seven-month affair with a married coworker, and now a fairly serious four-months-and-counting relationship with a woman who approached me on Instagram. On the one hand, I do not regret my time with any of these women. On the other hand, I have been deceitful and manipulative for almost my entire adult life. I am a terrible husband in this respect. Also, I’m going to get busted eventually, right?

Finding out about this would crush my wife. I love her, we get along great, and the sex is good—if I wasn’t such a lying piece of shit, you could even say we make a pretty good team. We are also very socially and financially entangled. I don’t want to leave, but I suspect I should. And if so, I need help considering an exit strategy. Part of my motivation for writing is that I am particularly attached to the woman I’m having an affair with now, and both of us fantasize about being together openly. I’m a liar, a cheat, a user, and a manipulator—and it just keeps happening.

A Seriously Shitty Husband On Losing Everything P.S. I’m expecting you to rip me to shreds.

It doesn’t “just keep happening,” ASSHOLE, you keep doing it. And these women didn’t “turn into” one-year, threeyear, seven-month, and four-months-andcounting affairs on their own. You turned them into affairs by continuing to show up. And while you claim that each of these women pursued you despite knowing you were in an exclusive relationship, it doesn’t sound like you ran from any of them. At best, you broke into (or slowed to) a trot, which allowed each one of these lady predators to overtake you.

The first step toward holding yourself accountable for your appalling actions—a close friend of your wife? really?—is doing away with the passive voice. Don’t ask yourself, “How’d that happen?!?” as if the universe were conspiring against you somehow. You weren’t hit by a pussy meteor

every time you left the house. You did these things. You had these affairs. You. Zooming out: If all it takes for some rando to get her hands on your otherwise committed cock is to DM you on Instagram, you have no business making monogamous commitments. If you’d sought out a partner who wanted an open relationship—a wideopen one—you could have had concurrent, committed, nonexclusive relationships and avoided being “a liar, a cheat, a user,” etc.

Seeing as you’re a reader, ASSHOLE, I suspect you knew an honest open relationship was an option—that ethical nonmonogamy was an option—but you didn’t pursue that. And why not? Maybe because you don’t want to be with a woman who is free to sit on other dicks. Or maybe the wrongness and the self-loathing—the whole bad-boy-on-the-rack routine—turn you on.

Or maybe you’re the wrong kind of sadist: the un-self-aware emotional sadist. You say you love your wife, but you also say she’d be crushed—destroyed—if she discovered what you’ve been doing. Be honest, ASSHOLE, just this once: Is the destruction of your wife a bug or is it a feature? I suspect the latter.

Because cheating on this scale isn’t about succumbing to temptation or reacting to neglect. It’s about the annihilation of your partner—a (hopefully) subconscious desire to punish and destroy someone, anyone, fool enough to love you.

The tragedy is how unnecessary your choices have been. There are women out there who aren’t interested in monogamy, there are female cuckolds out there (cuckqueans) who want cheating husbands, and there are masochistic women (and men) out there who get off on the thought of being with a person who would like to crush them. So long as those desires are consciously eroticized, fully compartmentalized, and safely expressed, you could have done everything you wanted, ASSHOLE, without harming anyone.

So what do you do now?

It seems like you want out, and your wife definitely deserves better, so cop to one affair, since copping to all of them would crush her—or so you think. People are often way more resilient than we give them credit for, and convincing ourselves that our partners can’t handle the truth is often a convenient justification for lying to them. But on the off chance it would crush your wife to be told everything, just tell her about Ms. Instagram. That should be enough.

P.S. Get your ass into therapy, ASSHOLE. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter ITMFA.org

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): Imagine you’re one of four porcupines caught in frigid weather. To keep warm, you all have the urge to huddle together and pool your body heat. But whenever you try to get close, you prick each other with your quills. The only solution to that problem is to move away from each other, even though it means you can’t quell your chill as well. This scenario was used by psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud as a parable for the human dilemma. We want to be intimate with each other, Freud said, but we hurt each other when we try. The oft-chosen solution is to be partially intimate: not as close as we would like to be, but only as much as we can bear. Now everything I just said, Aries, is a preface for better news: In the coming weeks, neither your own quills nor those of the people you care about will be as sharp or as long as usual.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Simpsons is the longestrunning American TV sitcom and animated series. But it had a rough start. In the fall of 1989, when producers staged a private pre-release screening of the first episode, they realized the animation was mediocre. They worked hard to redo it, replacing 70 percent of the original content. After that slow start, the process got easier and the results got better. When the program completes its thirtieth season in 2019, it will have aired 669 episodes. I don’t know if your own burgeoning project will ultimately have as enduring a presence, Taurus, but I’m pretty sure that, like The Simpsons, it will eventually become better than it is in the early going. Stick with it.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The coming weeks might be an interesting time to resurrect a frustrated dream you abandoned in a wasteland; or rescue and restore a moldering treasure you stopped taking care of a while back; or revive a faltering commitment you’ve been ignoring for reasons that aren’t very high-minded. Is there a secret joy you’ve been denying yourself without good cause? Renew your

relationship with it. Is there a rough prize you received before you were ready to make smart use of it? Maybe you’re finally ready. Are you brave enough to dismantle a bad habit that hampers your self-mastery? I suspect you are.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The Hollywood film industry relies heavily on recycled ideas. In 2014, for example, only one of the ten top-grossing movies, Interstellar, was not a sequel, remake, reboot, or episode in a franchise. In the coming weeks and months, Cancerian, you’ll generate maximum health and wisdom for yourself by being more like Interstellar than like The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Transformers: Age of Extinction, X-Men: Days of Future Past, and the six other top-ten rehashes of 2014. Be original!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Long ago, in the land we now call Italy, humans regarded Mars as the divine protector of fields. He was the fertility god who ripened the food crops. Farmers said prayers to him before planting seeds, asking for his blessings. But as the Roman Empire arose, and warriors began to outnumber farmers, the deity who once served as a kind benefactor evolved into a militant champion, even a fierce and belligerent conqueror.

In accordance with current astrological omens, Leo, I encourage you to evolve in the opposite direction. Now is an excellent time to transmute aggressiveness and combativeness into fecundity and tenderness.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You sometimes get superstitious when life is going well. You worry about growing overconfident. You’re afraid that if you enjoy yourself too much, you will anger the gods and jinx your good fortune. Is any of that noise clouding your mood these days? I hope not; it shouldn’t be. The truth, as I see it, is that your intuition is extra-strong and your decisionmaking is especially adroit. More luck than usual is flowing in your vicinity, and you have an enhanced knack for

capitalizing on it. In my estimation, therefore, the coming weeks will be a favorable time to build up your hunger for vivid adventures and bring your fantasies at least one step closer to becoming concrete realities. Whisper the following to yourself as you drop off to sleep each night: “I will allow myself to think bigger and bolder than usual.”

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The bad news is that 60 percent of Nevada’s Lake Mead has dried up. The good news – at least for historians, tourists, and hikers -- is that the Old West town of St. Thomas has re-emerged. It had sunk beneath the water in 1936, when the government built the dam that created the lake. But as the lake has shrunk in recent years, old buildings and roads have reappeared. I foresee a comparable resurfacing in your life, Libra: the return of a lost resource or vanished possibility or departed influence.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I hope the next seven weeks will be a time of renaissance for your most engaging alliances. The astrological omens suggest it can be. Would you like to take advantage of this cosmic invitation? If so, try the following strategies. 1. Arrange for you and each of your close companions to relive the time when you first met. Recall and revitalize the dispensation that originally brought you together. 2. Talk about the influences you’ve had on each other and the ways your relationship has evolved. 3. Fantasize about the inspirations and help you’d like to offer each other in the future. 4. Brainstorm about the benefits your connection has provided and will provide for the rest of the world.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Now is one of the rare times when you should be alert for the potential downsides of blessings that usually sustain you. Even the best things in life could require adjustments. Even your most enlightened attitudes and mature beliefs may have pockets of ignorance. So don’t be a prisoner of your own

success or a slave of good habits. Your ability to adjust and make corrections will be key to the most interesting kind of progress you can achieve in the coming weeks.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn author Simone de Beauvoir was a French feminist and activist. In her book A Transatlantic Love Affair, she made a surprising confession: Thanks to the assistance of a new lover, Nelson Algren, she finally had her first orgasm at age 39. Better late than never, right? I suspect that you, too, are currently a good candidate to be transported to a higher octave of pleasure. Even if you’re an old pro at sexual climax, there may be a new level of bliss awaiting you in some other way. Ask for it! Seek it out! Solicit it!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Can you afford to hire someone to do your busy work for a while? If so, do it. If not, see if you can avoid the busy work for a while. In my astrological opinion, you need to deepen and refine your skills at lounging around and doing nothing. The cosmic omens strongly and loudly and energetically suggest that you should be soft and quiet and placid. It’s time for you to recharge your psychospiritual batteries as you dream up new approaches to making love, making money, and making sweet nonsense. Please say a demure “no, thanks” to the strident demands of the status quo, my dear. Trust the stars in your own eyes.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I believe it’s a favorable time for you to add a new mentor to your entourage. If you don’t have a mentor, go exploring until you find one. In the next five weeks, you might even consider mustering a host of fresh teachers, guides, trainers, coaches, and initiators. My reading of the astrological omens suggests that you’re primed to learn twice as much and twice as fast about every subject that will be important for you during the next two years. Your future educational needs require your full attention.

JONESIN’ CROSSWORD by Matt Jones Answer on page 17.

ACROSS

1 Cart food served in a soft corn tortilla 11 Former U.N. Secretary General Hammarskjˆld 14 Phone-based games where quizzers often play for cash prizes 15 Oscar ___ Hoya 16 Like some geometric curves 17 Nasty 18 St. Tropez summer 19 Inventor Whitney 20 Obtrude 22 Solitary 24 “I’d like to speak to your supervisor,” e.g.

27 “Dallas” family name 29 Flip option 30 Recombinant stuff 31 They’re silent and deadly 33 “I Need a Dollar” singer Aloe _ _ _ 35 Namibia’s neighbor 36 Calculus for dentists 40 Country east of Eritrea 43 Beethoven’s Third Symphony 44 Double-decker, e.g.

47 Cave ___ (“Beware of dog,” to Caesar) 49 Fur trader John Jacob 50 Customary to the present

53 Pivot on an axis 54 Make further corrections 55 “Oh yeah? ___ who?”

57 “And many more” 58 “Caprica” actor Morales 59 Popular request at a bar mitzvah 63 “Okay” 64 Complete opposites 65 Rolls over a house?

66 Short religious segment on old TV broadcasts

DOWN

1 Island where Napoleon died 2 Be active in a game, e.g.

3 Going from green to yellow, maybe 4 The day before the big day 5 Cork’s country, in Gaelic 6 Word after coffee or time 7 Follower of Lao-tzu 8 ___.de.ap (Black Eyed Peas member) 9 Cost-of-living stat

10 Swing to and fro 11 Lacking, with “of” 12 Novelist Lurie 13 Lead ore 15 Branch of govt.

21 Makeup with an applicator 23 “Hope you like it!”

25 Truck compartment 26 Feel unwell 28 Actor Johnny of “The Big Bang Theory” and “Roseanne” 32 TV host Bee and blues singer Fish, for two 34 Traverse 37 Golf club brand 38 Connection to a power supply 39 Uncommon example 41 Brian once of Roxy Music 42 Not quite improved?

44 Minimalist to the max 45 Depletes 46 Takes an oath 48 Be way off the mark 51 New Bohemians lead singer Brickell 52 Almost on the hour 56 Investigation Discovery host Paula 60 Hydrocarbon suffix 61 Open-reel tape precursor to VCRs (and similar, except for the letter for “tape”) 62 “I hadn’t thought of that”

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

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