San Antonio Current – April 18, 2018

DRESSED N

BATTLE

San Antonio's Tricentennial inspires a fresh look at the origins and traditions of Fiesta

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sacurrent.com • April 18-24, 2018 • CURRENT 3 4/11/18 10:58 AM

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CURRENT • April 18-24, 2018 • sacurrent.com

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FIRST WORDS 1

45 On Councilwoman Shirley Gonzales Pushes (Again) for Gender Diversity on Boards // Wow... manbabies are afoot, SA Current. This city is infested with manchildren. Jokes aside, it's a great observation and it truly makes you wonder. And for the boneheads who say they want someone qualified, uh yeah, look at Donald Dump and the GOP. Neither of those jokesters are fit to run a lemonade stand, much less a country.

– Anna Olvera On Here's How Much Property Values Have Jumped Across Bexar County // Maybe if they didn't spend so much on Sheryl Sculley's salary, they wouldn't have to jack up our taxes by the maximum 10%. – Phil Corbin On New Bravo Reality Series Searches for San Antonio Glam // This is hilarious. SA is the opposite of the hype and drama of reality TV; it’s probably the most boring city on the planet. I hope this falls flat on its face just like that ludicrous Thomas J Henry show on YouTube – Patrick Murray

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Issue 18_16 /// April 18-24, 2018

NEWS

Millennial Transit Authority Young techies expected to fuel group set up to push Nirenberg’s transportation plan

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SCREENS

MUSIC

Luminous Dark Garrett T. Capps steals some spotlight and, on new album Back in the Shadows (Again), sounds like he deserves it Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

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CURRENT • April 18-24, 2018 • sacurrent.com

Our top picks for the week

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ARTS + CULTURE

Character Building Catching up with Robert Gonzalez, the animator behind The Ernie Show and the new Current web series Janie’s Guide to Fiesta Fan Favorites Essential Fiesta events to put on the calendar

Their Town Families pushed to the edge

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6

CALENDAR

Facebook Fails First. Then Congress What do Facebook and lawmakers have in common? Neither will protect your data

Dead Man Acting Joaquin Phoenix continues his exploration of damaged characters in You Were Never Really Here

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Social Disorderliness The Walleys weigh in on the ‘battle’ that launched Fiesta

FOOD

Bunches of Brunches A year into its tenure, NOLA Brunch & Beignets makes breakfasts worth waking up for The Big Spoon In defense of chicken on a stick

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NIGHTLIFE

Fiesta Drinks Change up your cocktails this Fiesta

ON THE

COVER ETC.

Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology

Created for the Tricentennial exhibition series “Common Currents,” Mark and Angela Walley’s photograph The Battle recreates the “social disorderliness” of the inaugural Battle of Flowers Parade (the 1891 event that launched Fiesta) with a bit of digital magic and the collaboration of “historical reenactors” Megan Harrison, Ciara Green, Patrick Kay, Alexandra Murphy, Shannon Rae, Hami Sayyadioskoie and Cristina Gonzalez.

Photograph by Mark and Angela Walley Art direction by Carlos Aguilar

sacurrent.com • April 18-24, 2018 • CURRENT 7

NEWS

FACEBOOK

Facebook Fails First.

Then Congress

What do Facebook and lawmakers have in common? Neither will protect your data SANFORD NOWLIN

≥

Sure, Mark Zuckerberg’s two days in the congressional hot seat was cathartic. Especially if you’re concerned about Internet privacy, bot accounts and, oh, the possibility that online shenanigans handed Trump the election. And, yes, the resulting memes were priceless.

But don’t hold your breath for Washington rein in Facebook. At least, not in the short term.

“I think a lot of legislators are waiting to see if [the online industry] can correct the problems on their own,” said U.S. Rep. Joaquín Castro, who sits on the House Select Committee on Intelligence. “If we don’t see that, then it’s quite possible there will be

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CURRENT • April 18-24, 2018 • sacurrent.com

some legislation within the next year or two.”

The San Antonio Democrat said he’s in favor of efforts to verify real people are behind social media accounts and to prevent companies like Facebook from sharing private user data without explicit consent. However, he acknowledges that for there to be action now, lawmakers should have been on the case a couple of years ago.

Indeed, Congress’ record of keeping up with quick-morphing technology is abysmal, experts say. And that’s distressing news for users, said Deanna Cuellar-Cintron, a founder of San Antonio’s UpgradeSA, a nonprofit that advocates for digital literacy

and erasing the digital divide.

“Once again, it will be up to us to be better keepers of our own data,” she said.

Here are a few more reasons that Zuck’s grilling likely won’t signal a serious legislative clampdown: Midterms are on the horizon. Given the enormity of the issues involved, it would be great for lawmakers to act fast.

Isn’t protecting privacy and stopping Big Bad Vlad from fucking up our elections something every voter can get behind?

Problem is, regulating Facebook or any other complicated business takes time, serious staff scrutiny, and (gasp!) working across the aisle. If both houses can’t get some momentum going on the issue in coming weeks, experts say, they’ll be way too consumed by hanging onto their jobs in the fall elections.

Getting tough with Facebook isn’t enough. The Cambridge Analytica thing’s bad, but have we already forgotten that credit bureau Equifax allowed the Social Security Numbers of 143 million people to slip out and then stayed quiet about it?

When it comes to consumers’ personal data, it’s not just Facebook that’s got holes in its pockets. Data breaches have hit everyone from Target customers to Ashley Madison clients. “What we need is an omnibus bill that protects Americans’ privacy, whether it’s from an online operator, a credit bureau or a supermarket,” said Roger Entner, founder of Boston-based Recon Analytics, which tracks tech trends. “Just putting a finger in the most recent breach in the dike isn’t enough.”

Congress is cozy with capitalists.

Even though Silicon Valley tends to be

friendlier with the Dems than the GOP, it’s not like either has done much to rein the techies in so far. Since 2013, Facebook lobbyists have written checks totaling nearly $600,000 to the lawmakers questioning Zuckerberg at the hearings, according to the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics. Stretch the date back to 2007, and its current slate of lobbyists have forked over $5.5 million to federal candidates, leadership PACs and party committees.

Congress will politicize it. And in silly ways to boot. Texas Sen. Ted Cruz wasted most of his time grilling Zuckerberg on whether Facebook censors right-wing content and treats Trump supporters unfairly.

Even by Cruz’s standards, asking the CEO if he knew the political orientation of the 15,000 to 20,000 people working on his company’s security and content review team was some goofy shit. And it completely missed the very real issues dogging Facebook’s more than 2 billion regular users.

The old guys just don’t understand.

Seriously, watch the hearings. Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-South Carolina, 62, at one point asked Zuckerberg, “Is Twitter the same as what you do?” And 84-year-old Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, bless his heart, continued to refer to Facebook and other social media platforms as “websites.” To effectively regulate, these folks need to understand what they’re making rules about. And it’s clear a wide swath of them don’t. “The key takeaway from [the Senate hearings] was that none of them had used Facebook — well, maybe one or two,” analyst Entner said. “It shows they’re in a bubble unencumbered by the technological reality the rest of us live in.”

NEWS

Millennial Transit Authority Young techies expected to fuel group set up to push Nirenberg’s transportation plan SANFORD NOWLIN

urban living, are likely to be the earliest adopters of those new ideas, said Chris Nelder, mobility manager for Rocky Mountain Institute, a renewable energy think tank.

“A lot of young people didn’t grow up with the default, preprogrammed assumption that everyone’s a driver,” he said. “If you look at millennials in places like San Francisco, they’ve penciled this stuff out and decided it doesn’t make financial sense to drive all the time.”

However, millennials alone don’t wield enough votes to make those ideas reality. And if the city’s more conservative elements had conniptions over light rail, one can only imagine their response to talk of driverless vehicles and motorized electric bikes.

That’s why multimodal proponents must persuade a wide variety of residents — from the disabled community and users of traditional mass transit to suburban families – that more transit choices would make their lives easier, said Susan Shaheen, co-director of U.C. Berkeley’s Transportation Sustainability Research Center.

“We need to re-brand public transit as part of this effort,” new VIA board member Dillard said. “We need to figure out how to tell them, ‘Hey, public transit can be a sexy option.’”

BRYAN RINDFUSS

>

ConnectSA, the nonprofit formed to sell Mayor Ron Nirenberg’s proposed multimodal transportation plan to San Antonio voters, will likely rely on young, tech-savvy allies – despite the fact that its leadership is distinctly old guard.

Nirenberg sees a major transportation revamp as essential if the city is to accommodate the million new residents it’s predicted to gain by 2040. But voters have balked at such projects in the past. Since 2000, they’ve twice rejected plans that sought to ease gridlock by adding light rail to the mix.

The difference this time, observers say, may depend on how well the mayor, who ran as a progressive, can leverage younger residents’ enthusiasm for the environment, technology and urban living. The vote is expected in 2019.

“This time around, the conversation is truly on multimodal transportation instead of strictly pushing one mode, light rail,” said Brian Dillard, 34, a cybersecurity consultant and an East Side community leader who recently joined VIA Metropolitan Transit’s board. “I saw one report on this say the mayor was ‘future-proofing’ the city, and that’s the way I like to think about it.”

Dillard, who rides the bus and a bike daily, said the increased congestion and the boom of area bedroom communities have brought a sense of urgency that residents may not have had during previous referendums.

But if Nirenberg wants to sway younger residents, his

choices to tri-chair ConnectSA don’t seem to be ideal.

Former Mayor Henry Cisneros, attorney Jane Macon and former Texas Secretary of State Hope Andrade are all seasoned political insiders of the old-school variety.

The hope, County Judge Nelson Wolff said, is that the 20- to 25-member ConnectSA board itself can be stocked with new faces, many from the tech industry. After all, that demographic was instrumental in the fight to allow rideshare firms Lyft and Uber to operate here.

“We really need to round out that committee for this to be a success,” Wolff said.

In a sign of what Wolff has in mind, the city and county have five new VIA board appointments, including Dillard, the East Side activist. All are young(-ish) and most boast a tech background.

So far, just what ConnectSA will put forward to voters is sketchy because the group is charged with researching the best way to build a state-of-the-art multimodal system. But there are two recurring themes. One, that it would make use of dedicated bus lanes so VIA’s fleet can whisk riders along without interference from other traffic. Two, that light rail is probably out of the picture.

But bus lanes alone don’t constitute a true multimodal rethink of the city’s transit system. Experts said an effective multimodal solution would likely need to employ a variety of new technologies, such increased recharge sites for electric cars, rideshare-style mobile apps for hailing transit and, yes, driverless vehicles.

Younger residents, especially those comfortable with

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sacurrent.com •April 18-24, 2018 • CURRENT 9

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Proceeds fund St. Mary’s University student scholarships and alumni and university programs.

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CURRENT • April 18-24, 2018 • sacurrent.com

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sacurrent.com •April 18-24, 2018 • CURRENT 11

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CURRENT • April 18-24, 2018 • sacurrent.com

NEWS

Families Pushed to the Edge JOSH HUSKIN

Long-time homeowners are getting burned

by SA’s real-estate market. Lawmakers have a bill that could prevent the worst damage.

State Rep. Diego Bernal

≥

Family life never just rolls forward like a train on tracks. It veers off, doubles back and lurches forward again.

Kids move away from home, and sometimes they move back in when they’re adults. Parents get old and sick, and their children become the caretakers. When the money’s almost gone, no one ever knows exactly the right thing to do with the property that’s tied the family together.

And sometimes family life collides with the social and market forces that tear apart and remake neighborhoods, like it has for San Juanita Martinez.

Martinez moved out of her parents’ 1,428-squarefoot house on West Gramercy Place when she was 22.

She’s 49 now and is living once again in the Beacon Hill home, caring for her 86-year-old mother. Her father suffered from both Alzheimer’s and cancer, and died several years ago.

Her parents put the house in San Juanita’s name in 2014, which means she’s responsible for the property tax bill – without the tax freeze for seniors or the $10,000 senior exemption. She expects to pay $4,315 this year after handing over about $3,600 in 2017.

Martinez, who's single with no children and works for a capital investment firm, claims her mother as a dependent on her federal taxes. That gives her some financial flexibility to cover the property taxes. But when her mother passes away, she said, “I may have to wind up renting because I’ll no longer be able to afford it, which is crazy – it’s our house.”

The property’s value has jumped by 43.5 percent since 2015, hitting $172,020 this year, according to Bexar Appraisal District records.

Beacon Hill is located in Texas House District 123, which is hot from the friction between deeply-rooted homeowners and the newcomers who are driving up their property values and tax bills. Democrat Diego Bernal is its representative.

District 123 includes some of the most sought-after

addresses among homebuyers in San Antonio – Beacon Hill, Mahncke Park, Lavaca, Southtown and a few others.

It also takes in King William, where the roiling fights between old and new residents ended years ago with the recent arrivals winning decisively.

“New neighbors and old neighbors are pointing fingers at each other,” Bernal said, “and there’s a fair amount of distain, distrust, bewilderment and, really, just confusion about what to do about it.

San Antonio’s housing market has been blowing up for several years. The average sales price for a house climbed year-over-year a little more than six percent to $244,567 in February, according to the Real Estate Center at Texas A&M University. While the pace of home sales has slowed a little recently, houses continue to change hands near historic highs.

“Right now, I see a lot of yuppies, a lot of young people buying their houses,” said Martinez, who gets several offers a month on her Beacon Hill property. “I’ve gone into their homes and talked to them. ‘Hey, welcome to the neighborhood.’ Their plan is just to keep it for a moment and then rent it.”

Across San Antonio, Chief Appraiser Michael Amezquita said, demand is running so high that potential homebuyers are turning to less well-to-do neighborhoods for houses they can afford. “That’s happening right now in Harlandale,” he said. That means long-time residents in those communities will begin to feel the same pain – from the same tax bite – experienced by homeowners who live closer to downtown.

“It’s tragic. These are people who are getting forced out of houses that they own. In some instances, they’ve paid the house off,” Bernal said.

He has been working on a bill for the 2019 legislature he believes will help. The measure is intended to ease some the pressure for homeowners who have lived in their houses for at least 15 years, and whose property tax payments have increased at least 120 percent over

the last 15 years. Owners who fall in that category would receive the property tax freeze that seniors 65 and older claim on their houses, though not the $10,000 exemption for which they’re also eligible.

Bernal said local taxing entities such as the city and school districts could offer the freeze to distressed homeowners, but wouldn’t be required to do so.

“It’s not designed to provide relief. It’s not designed to be a release valve for people who are being squeezed,” Bernal said. “It’s designed to capture the population of folks who have been in a neighborhood a long time, who are likely on the verge of being squeezed out, and who probably didn’t see the current environment coming.”

Bernal outlined the plan, which he’s been putting together with state Sen. José Menéndez, at a property tax forum at San Antonio College on Saturday. Martinez sat in the second row, close to the table where Bernal, Menendez and District 1 Councilman Roberto Treviño sat facing the crowded room.

During the question-and-answer period, she told the politicians about her plight on West Gramercy Place.

While she’s only owned the home for three years or so, she said, it’s been in her family for decades. She wanted to know, Doesn’t that count for something?

Martinez left the forum concluding that, no, her family’s ownership of the house probably didn’t count for much.

But the lawmakers were sympathetic, in part because Martinez’s story is becoming more common as baby boomers retire and their health fails. Menéndez brought up possibly adding a provision to the proposed bill covering a situation like hers.

The collision between families and San Antonio’s roaring real-estate market is in its early stages, and the policy fixes will be spotty and improvisational for a while.

But at least some elected officials – in local government and San Antonio’s legislative delegation – are focused on the growing crisis.

sacurrent.com •April 18-24, 2018 • CURRENT 13

‘Punk Ruca: Shangela COURTESY OF AMALIA ORTIZ

a HERstory’

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Speeder Kills

FOR THE WEEK

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COURTESY OF SHANGELA

If you’ve never heard of local poet/artist/performer Amalia Ortiz, we submit this event as WED the ideal chance to get acquainted with one of the most emboldening and dynamic forces in San Antonio. While her book of poetry Rant. Chant.

Chisme. is essential reading — selected by NBC Latino as one of 10 Great Latino Books of 2015 and winner of the Writers’ League of Texas 2015 Poetry Discovery Prize — it is through performance that Ortiz is best able to express her unique genius. Ortiz will present her latest concept, a blend of performance art, poetry, music and acting. Ortiz explains in her artist’s statement that she chose the punk aesthetic as a vehicle for this performance because the issues she tackles in her writing, “such as racial injustice, gender inequality, and environmental justice, demand immediate action and outrage.” Her goal in this piece, and clearly throughout much of her other work, is “to center women’s voices, creatively chronicle their stories, and explore the intersection of their experiences and [her] own.”

Free, 6-8pm, Artpace, 445 N. Main Ave., (210) 212-4900, artpace.org.

— James Courtney SPECIAL EVENT

CALENDAR

“I have so much more to offer,” drag performer Shangela OUR TOP PICKS Laquifa Wadley told the online LGBT entertainment site NewNowNext after her early elimination from RuPaul’s Drag Race back in WED 2010. As luck would have it, Shangela got two more opportunities to show audiences her still-developing drag chops — first on the third season of RPDR (where she literally jumped out of a box and became the first previous contestant to return to the reality competition series) and then on the third season of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, where she slayed her way into the final four. Born D.J. Pierce in Paris, Texas, Shangela suffered early on from minimal experience in two key areas: sewing (“This isn’t RuPaul’s School for Girls,” she was famously told) and, more importantly, drag itself, which she’d only been doing for five months.

Drag daughter to fierce fellow Texan Alyssa Edwards, “the girl who keeps coming back” has slowly but surely proven she’s got staying power — evidenced by everything from forays into music (check out her single “Werqin Girl”) to her often-hashtagged catch phrase Halleloo to acting spots on mainstream shows like Glee, The X-Files and 2 Broke Girls.. Rey Lopez Entertainment brings the native Texan back to the Alamo City for two performances at Heat with local support from hostess Tencha la Jefa and RLE Showgirls Jessica Marxx, Sephwhora 51, Kooder Parker, Chyna Cravens, Alayna Marquez, Amerie Parker and Nilaya Milan Mathews. $10-$25, 10:30pm & midnight, Heat Nightclub, 1500 N. Main Ave., (210) 386-4537, reylopezentertainment.com. — Bryan Rindfuss DRAG

COURTESY OF COMEDIA A GO-GO

CALENDAR

Once you get past the exasperating 90-minute narration and the eruption of images that jump off the screen and hit you with the power of a Chicano punk riff, you’ll appreciate Speeder Kills (2003) as an instant San Antonio film classic. Director Jim Mendiola, on his way back to California after shooting another film, was held back after witnessing the local rock scene. “Most of the band members were brown, the audience was mainly brown, the artists whose work decorated the club’s walls were mostly brown … but the music was not salsa or tejano or even rock en español,” he wrote in a release. “It was just an alternative local music scene that just happened to be Latino, and at the same time not Latino at all.” What he saw inspired him to film the crazy story of a local band (Speeder) hijacking a THU Fiesta float in order to film a music video. Starring poet and performer Amalia Ortiz, the movie is equal parts narrative film, personal essay and doc, and features the music of Jackie on Acid, Los #3 Dinners, Big Drag and other bands from yesteryear. This is a movie to be watched with a bunch of old-timers from the local music scene, and serves as a strong reminder that, let’s face it, Fiesta sucks and brown people celebrating it sucks even more. $10, 7pm, Guadalupe Theatre, 1301 Guadalupe St., (210) 271-3151, localculturetickets.com. — Enrique Lopetegui FILM

JIM MENDIOLA

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FIESTA

CORONATION OF THE

QUEEN ORDER OF THE ALAMO

Special Guest

EMPIRE

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CURRENT • April 18-24, 2018 • sacurrent.com

APRIL 27

MAY 16

MAY 16

MAY 18

MAY 26 & 27

CALENDAR

COMEDY Local sketch comedy troupe Comedia A Go-Go returns to the Laugh Out Loud stage with their fifth annual “(Anti)-Fiesta” event, which takes loving potshots at the city’s 11-day party – from its pooch parades to its puffy tacos. The comedy show features CAGG founders Regan Avalos, Larry Garza, Jess Castro and Joel Settles along with collaborator Susie Hamilton. Avalos said CAGG’s “love-hate relationship” with Fiesta fuels the festivities. “We’ve lived THU-SAT in this town all our lives and have grown up with Fiesta all around us,” he said. “We’ve experienced the good and the bad. This is our way of expressing our feelings about all of it.” This year, CAGG will mock things like the Fiesta medal craze, carnival games, Uber drivers, mariachis and downtown parade seating. They’ll also throw in some political satire and tease local public figures like personal injury attorney (and TV commercial superstar) Jeff “4444444” Davis. Along with NIPSA, CAGG will host two stand-up showcases at Laugh Out Loud on April 18 and April 22. The latter benefits the May’s Cancer Center. $17, 8pm Thu, 8pm & 10:15pm Fri-Sat, Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805, lolsanantonio.com. — Kiko Martinez

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FRI SPECIAL Founded by Emily Leeper in 2013, the LGBTQ EVENT organization Fiesta Youth aims to “empower youth to build a future where all people are accepted and loved as they are.” The youth support group’s biggest annual fundraiser, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, marks its fourth year with a masquerade at the Veranda, a 1920s-era Castle Hills estate situated on 35 acres filled with giant oaks and manicured gardens. Emceed by DJ and producer Crystafer Mic, the event features a Fiesta-themed buffet prepared by chef Michael Bomberg, a silent auction (with tickets to Broadway shows, hotel stays and more) and performances by singersongwriter Laura Marie (pictured), Grupo Folklórico de Bendiciones and the Matt Tardy and Team Stunt Show. During the festivities, the Fiesta Youth board of directors will award $1,000 scholarships to three collegebound LGBT youth. $100, 7pm-midnight, The Veranda, 1746 Lockhill-Selma Road, (210) 324-4900, ticketstripe.com/midnight-masquerade2018. — Sam Sanchez

COURTESY OF SHANGELA

Of all the sitcoms to feature a shlubby goofball husband and his mismatched, highly capable wife, The Jim Gaffigan Show is probably one of the most realistic because Gaffigan’s real-life wife Jeannie served as a writer on the show — which told a fictionalized version of the Gaffigans’ actual lives raising their five children in a Manhattan apartment for two seasons before the couple decided to stop and spend more time with their own kids. With the exception of Gaffigan’s dramatic roles, such as in the recently released Chappaquiddick, what you see is typically what you get, which is how his once flippantly food-heavy act (all together now: “Hot Pocket!”) has evolved over the years to include heavier material about parenting, aging and Jeannie’s recent brain-tumor-removal surgery, but Gaffigan has remained the same blindsided everyman throughout, confused by the world around him and self-deprecatingly guessing at how the audience is judging him and finding him lacking. In reality, his casually delivered act (also co-written with his wife) is razor-sharp, even if he’s typically safe enough to make your mom laugh, or as he did in 2015, open for the freaking pope. $39.75-$59.75, The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — Jeremy Martin COMEDY

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Jim Gaffigan

COURTESY OF LAURA MARIE

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

SAT

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COURTESY OF JIM GAFFIGAN

COURTESY OF COMEDIA A GO-GO

A Night in Pinche San Antonio

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At just 24 years old, Colombian reggaetón singer Maluma (born Juan Luis Londoño Arias) has already collaborated with some of Latin music’s biggest stars, from last year’s “Felices los 4” featuring Marc Anthony to the chart-topping Shakira single “Chantaje.” In the span of just a few years, Maluma emerged from a burgeoning Latin trap scene to achieve global superstardom, selling out concerts around the world. Not only is he the most followed Latin male artist on Instagram, with more than 32 million followers, he’s also one of the top digital artists in the world, proven by a YouTube channel that’s racked up more than nine billion views. On Sunday, Maluma rolls into the Alamo City as part of his headlining F.A.M.E tour at the Freeman Coliseum. $60-$525, 8pm, Freeman Coliseum, 3201 E. Houston St., (210) 444-5140, attcenter.com. — Marco Aquino

COURTESY OF MALUMA

Maluma

CALENDAR

COURTESY OF RUBY CITY

MUSIC

SAT

Bubble Fest

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SPECIAL Did you know that chili is the official dish of EVENT Texas? Well, you bet your ass it is.

But, down here in San Antone we aren’t satisfied with something as SUN basic and boring as a chili cookoff to celebrate our state dish, especially not during Fiesta time.

That’s where the fantastic and fabulous Chili Queens Cook-off, an official Fiesta event that has been around for more than 10 years now, comes in. At this beautifully bawdy affair, the chili may be hot but the Queens (not a gender-specific term in this case) are way spicier.

Attendees will be entertained by DJs keeping things lively and adult beverages aplenty as they enjoy and/or compete in one of two competitions: an honest-to-god chili cook-off (judging starts at 5pm) and the Tackiest Queen contest. In the inclusive and irreverent spirit of Fiesta events like Cornyation, this off-kilter classic is a true San Antonio gem that’s not to be missed. A little-known fact about the Queens Cook-off is that if any especially ambitious and talented Queen is able to win both contests at once, they’ll instantly be made mayor. It’s true.

And, the Donkey Lady will swear them in. Free, 3-8pm, The Bonham Exchange, 411 Bonham St., (210) 224-9219, bonhamexchange.net. — JC

The Chili Queens Cook-off 22

Sanctorum

TUE Considering the rich history of flamenco, one which includes Moorish, Jewish and Spanish influences, perhaps no other art form exemplifies the merging of cultures as well as this centuries-old genre. As part of the 22nd annual Multicultural Conference at San Antonio College, the flamenco dance troupe Arte y Pasión will present their latest production, Sanctorum. Featuring special guest dancer Pilar Andújar, who hails from Alicante, Spain, the project celebrates 300 years of cultural exchange in our city and will conclude with the internment of a “musical time capsule.” Along with Andújar, Sanctorum will also highlight the unique talents of local poet Andrea “Vocab” Sanderson and percussionist Jai Roots. Bringing together writers, artists, musicians and scholars, SAC’s Multicultural Conference and its many forums explore myriad issues within education and society. This year’s theme, which honors the city’s tricentennial celebration, is “300 Years of Encounters and Otherness.” Free, 6:30pm, San Antonio College, Scobee Education Center and Planetarium, 1819 N. Main Ave., (210) 486-0649, arte-y-pasion.com. — MA SPECIAL EVENT

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SHUTTERSTOCK

SPECIAL In what is quickly becoming a favorite EVENT segue into Fiesta, Bubble Fest will once again be serving up bubble-based fun for the whole family in the charming confines of Chris Park.

Presented by the Linda Pace Foundation (recently rebranded as Ruby City) in partnership with local arts nonprofit Spare Parts, the Earth Day weekend event invites attendees to explore the urban park and visit various bubble stations with activities to activate the imagination and encourage a sense of community.

Texas Monthly’s latest cover star, artist Cruz Ortiz will be on hand to DJ and emcee the event, while his Snake Hawk Press team silkscreens shirts with a design made especially for the occasion (just bring your own T-shirt). Honysuckle Teatime will also be there, making many magical mini-milkshakes. Free, 11am-2pm, Chris Park, 111 Camp St., (210) 2278400, lindapacefoundation.org. — JC

SUN

COURTESY OF MALUMA SHUTTERSTOCK

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FEATURE: ARTS + CULTURE

Catching up with Robert Gonzalez, the animator behind The Ernie Show and the new Current web series Janie’s Guide to Fiesta BRYAN RINDFUSS

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You are an American manifestation of the Virgin of the Immaculate Conception.

With brown skin, high cheekbones, an Aztec virgin’s loose tresses, and star-studded blue mantle, you appear to the Indigenous peasant Juan Diego at the former site of an Aztec temple. Surrounded by an array of sunbeams, symbol of the highest Aztec god, you evoke the “woman clothed with the sun” of Revelations 12.1.

Your apparitions, miracles, and devotees grow. The Pope names you patroness of New Spain. Devotion to you drives the Franciscans who build and staff San Antonio’s missions and evangelize her native people.

You are the Virgin of Guadalupe.

Explore the DNA of San Antonio’s culture.

Explore Marian devotion.

200 West Jones Avenue | San Antonio, Texas 78215 | samuseum.org

This exhibition is presented in collaboration with Mexico’s Instituto Nacional de Antropología e Historia (INAH).

The exhibition is generously funded by Bexar County, William and Salomé Scanlan Foundation, Patsy Steves, the Robert J. Kleberg, Jr. and Helen C. Kleberg Foundation, NuStar Energy, The Greehey Family Foundation, and Myfe White Moore. This exhibition is supported by the City of San Antonio’s Department of Arts & Culture. Support for the San Antonio 1718 catalogue was provided by the Russell Hill Rogers Fund for the Arts.

CAPTION: Artist unknown, Japan, Traveling Altar with the Virgin of Guadalupe with the Four Apparitions (detail), 17th century, Lacquered wood decorated in gold, with mother-of-pearl applications; Artist unknown, New Spain, Virgin of Guadalupe with Four Apparitions (detail), mid-18th century, Oil on copper foil, embossed silver applications, h. 17 ½ in. (44 cm); w. 23 ¼ in. (59 cm); d. 2 in. (5 cm), Fundación Cultural Daniel Liebsohn, A.C. Mexico City.; Photography by Francisco Kochen

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ARTS + FEATURE: ARTS +CULTURE CULTURE

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“ONE OF THE BEST DANCERS IN THE WORLD.” LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA, HAMILTON COMPOSER, LYRICIST, PLAYWRIGHT

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METABOLISM STUDY

You may qualify for studies that will evaluate how a probiotic (good bacteria) and food composition affect the metabolism Study participants should be:

• Non-smokers ages 18-65

• Lean or overweight without diabetes, or persons with diabetes not taking insulin or metformin

• Sedentary or minimal exercise lifestyle

Study participants will receive: • Blood work • A physical exam • Compensation for time

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Select study participants may receive: • Home meals while on study medication For more information, call Barshop Clinical Research:

210-450-0020 Principal Investigator Nicolas Musi, MD

For other studies, visit us at: vpr.uthscsa.edu/findastudy/ Keyword “musi”

Friday, April 20

6:30pm-8:30pm | GEMINI INK AT VIVA TACOLAND: SAN ANTONIO MYTH, MYSTERY AND MADNESS Viva Tacoland: 103 W Grayson Street Calling all poets! Come and share your poems, stories and other musings on all that is quintessentially San Antonio.

Five-minutes spots per performer offered on a first-come, first-serve basis. Open mic to follow. Call (512) 822-2947 or email courtney@geminiink.org

Saturday, April 21 (ongoing)

2pm | TEEN OPEN WRITING WORKSHOP San Antonio Library Bazan Branch: 2200 W. Commerce Join us on the 3rd Saturday of each month for the Teen Open Writing Workshop. Call (210) 207-9160 or email georgina. salinas@sanantonio.gov

Sunday, April 22

11am -12:15pm | VOICES, VIBES AND VISIONS SAY Sí: 1518 S. Alamo Street

HIGHLIGHTS Thursday, April 19

6:30pm-7:30pm | LAURIE ANN GUERRERO: NATIONAL POETRY MONTH LECTURE Auditorium A&M University-San Antonio: One University Way In Honor of National Poetry Month, Texas A&M-San Antonio and the College of Arts and Sciences present: The Writer’s Lecture Series featuring Laurie Ann Guerrero, Writer-in-Residence. Free Parking.

Persons with disabilities requiring accommodations should contact Martha Saenz. Call (210) 784-2225 or martha.saenz@tamusa.edu

Voices, Vibes and Visions: Poems Written and Read by Thom the World Poet. Glo Armmer reads her poems, interspersed with live music, meditation at this lively, interfaith celebration.

Call (210) 534-3737 or email rudi@celebrationcircle.org

Monday, April 23

6pm -2am | P. W. COVINGTON Twig Book Store: 306 Pearl Parkway, Ste. 106 Texas poet, PW Covington, will read from his new poetry collection, The Motor Hotels of Central Avenue. He has worked with disaster relief teams in major disaster zones across the continent. He traveled to Standing Rock as a Water Protector and to Havana Cuba as an invited guest at the Havana International Poetry Festival. Covington remains involved in a variety of progressive and social causes, including homelessness outreach and prevention and Veteran's advocacy. Call (210) 826-6411 or email nancy.thetwig@yahoo. com

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ARTS + FEATURE: ARTS +CULTURE CULTURE

BRYAN RINDFUSS + JESS ELIZARRARAS

RICK CANFIELD

Parades At the very center of the citywide celebration, Fiesta’s parades run the gamut from traditional reverence to whimsical and wacky. If you can only attend one, most would point you toward the Battle of Flowers Parade (April 27), the over-the-top procession that sparked Fiesta itself back in 1891. Produced entirely by women and designed to honor the heroes of the Alamo and the Battle of San Jacinto, the beloved tradition brings together all the hallmarks of Fiesta for a procession through downtown featuring elaborately decorated floats, deckedout “royalty,” ROTC units, local celebs and marching bands. Fiesta fanatics, however, will tell you to attend as many as processions as possible — including the Texas Cavaliers River Parade (April 23), the wildly illuminated Fiesta Flambeau Parade (April 28), the dogcentric Fiesta Pooch Parade (April 28) and the wonderfully wacky King William Fair Parade (April 28). Prices, times and locations vary, fiesta-sa.org.

Essential Fiesta events to put on the calendar

A Day in Old Mexico & Charreada For the last six decades, the Asociación de Charros de San Antonio has championed charrería (often described as Mexican rodeo), competing throughout the year and attracting a diverse crowd each April with its beloved Fiesta event A Day in Old Mexico. Of the 10 official suertes (competitive roping and riding events performed in period costumes), the all-female escaramuza easily stands out as a fan favorite. $5$20, 3pm Sun, Apr. 22 & 3pm Sun, Apr. 29, Charro Ranch, 6126 Padre Drive, (210) 920-5365, sacharros.org. sacurrent.com • April 18-24, 2018 • CURRENT 25

COURTESY OF OYSTER BAKE

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Spend a little time perusing the Fiesta San Antonio events calendar and you’ll realize just how extensive the citywide “party with a purpose” really is. Packed with a wealth of offerings ranging from concerts and festivals to parades and culinary-driven affairs, Fiesta requires more than a little prioritizing. Far from an exhaustive list, the following represent just a few of Fiesta’s many fan favorites.

Compli mentar y beer, wine, margaritas, and sof t dri nks Mari ac his and folklórico stilt wal ker s Members: $100; $50 Children | Non-Members: $125; $60 Children

Tickets available at BriscoeMuseum.org or 210.299.4499

GRAND OPENING BRISCOE WESTERN ART MUSEUM PRESENTS

2018 Fiesta River Parade Party Monday, April 23 | 5:30 - 9:00pm

Indoor & outdoor seating • Mexican buf fet and desser t bar Compli mentar y beer, wine, margaritas, and sof t dri nks Mari ac his and folklórico stilt wal ker s Members: $100; $50 Children | Non-Members: $125; $60 Children

Tickets available at BriscoeMuseum.org or 210.299.4499 26

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ARTS + FEATURE: ARTS +CULTURE CULTURE

COURTESY OF OYSTER BAKE

known for its eclectic music lineup, which this year includes Los Djangoleros, Los Fabulocos and Grupo Folklórico de Bendiciones. $5-$15, 10am-6pm Sat, Apr. 21, 11am-5pm Sun, Apr. 22, Southwest School of Art, 300 Augusta St., (210) 200-8200, swschool.org.

A Night in Old San Antonio ▲ Bring comfortable shoes, plenty of cash and make sure you’ve got a meeting spot in mind when heading into La Villita for NIOSA. The 70th presentation of the San Antonio Conservation Society’s beloved bacchanal features 15 cultural areas filled with foods from across the globe, plenty of cerveza and music and dance performances from the likes of Cadence Cloggers, Karizma and Ravenmoor. $12$15, 5:30-10:30pm Tue, Apr. 24 - Fri, Apr. 27, La Villita, 418 Villita St., (210) 226-5188, niosa.org.

Taste of New Orleans Organized by the San Antonio Zulu Association, this three-day festival brings a Big Easy vibe to Sunken Gardens complete with gumbo, etouffee and live music ranging from jazz to zydeco. $12$15, 5-11pm Fri, Apr. 20, noon-11pm Sat, Apr. 21, noon-10pm Sun, Apr. 22, Sunken Garden Theatre, 3875 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 637-8328, saza.org.

WEBB Party After defecting from Fiesta for a brief stint as a Halloween event, the San Antonio AIDS Foundation’s WEBB Party returns to the confetti-filled celebration with The Roaring 25, a costumed bash featuring a 1920s theme. Benefiting the Fiesta Arts Fair nonprofit’s programs and services, the A cherished Fiesta tradition for more silver anniversary celebration combines than 40 years now, Fiesta Arts Fair cocktails, cuisine samples, DJs and routinely draws crowds of 12,000-plus performances by RuPaul’s Drag Race to the historic grounds of the Southwest season five winner Jinkx Monsoon. $65School of Art. While it spotlights artists $90, 7-11pm Fri, Apr. 20, Aztec Theatre, showing and selling works in all media (from jewelry and ceramics to textiles and 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 225-4715, photography), the two-day event is equally sanantonioaids.org.

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Cornyation ▶ Since its launch as a straight-up spoof of the elite Coronation of the Queen of the Order of the Alamo, Cornyation has seen wild ups and downs — morphing with changing times, broadening its focus (from high society to politics and beyond) and eventually establishing itself as a major fundraiser for HIV/AIDS charities. Inheriting a title inaugurated in 1951, Charlie Biedenharn steps into the royal role of King Anchovy this year to rule over the Court of Frenetic Frantic Kingdoms during three nights of outrageous lampoonery. $15-$45, 7pm & 10pm Tue, Apr. 24 - Thu, Apr. 26, Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, 226 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 226-3333, fiestacornyation.org.

Fiesta Oyster Bake Billed as “the heartbeat of Fiesta,” this yearly classic raises funds for St. Mary’s University scholarships while treating the masses to roughly 100,000 oysters, cold brews, a fireworks show (10:30pm Friday) and live rock, hip-hop, country and tejano on five outdoor stages. The 2018 headliners include Bret Michaels, Sean Paul, Drowning Pool and Everclear. $29.50-$157, 5-11pm Fri, Apr. 20, noon11pm Sat, Apr. 21, St. Mary’s University, One Camino Santa Maria, (210) 4363324, oysterbake.com.

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Innovative, affordable cabinet and floor renewal services that refresh your wood products.

Kristina Leigh Wiggins Architect, Texas Native and author of “Building Your Home: A Simple Guide To Making Good Decisions” will answer your pressing questions on your next home remodeling project, and offer advice on how to keep your relationships intact.

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Use code: CURRENT at checkout for $3 OFF admission at: TexasHomeAndGarden.com sacurrent.com • April 18-24, 2018 • CURRENT 27

ARTS + FEATURE: ARTS +CULTURE CULTURE

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By celebrating contemporary artists in meticulously crafted and insightful documentary shorts, married duo Mark and Angela Walley have established themselves as revered creators in their own right.

Beyond creating films about the work and creative processes of Gary Sweeney, Megan Harrison, Ken Little and many others, the pair has been spotlighted by local, regional and international platforms ranging from Glasstire and The Atlantic to National Geographic and Smithsonian Magazine. This year, the Walleys premiered Tía Chuck, a featurelength documentary on the life and work of late local artist Chuck Ramirez (save the date for the premiere on May 5 at the Tobin Center for the Performing Arts) and were also among the artists invited to participate in “Common Currents,” a Tricentennial exhibition series designed to creatively explore 300 years of San Antonio history. Assigned to the year 1891, the pair dove into the history of the Battle of Flowers Parade and then staged a stylized, historical reenactment — photographing seven of their friends (several of whom appear in the image as multiple characters) as participants in the peculiar event that launched Fiesta.

Who invited you to create work for “Common Currents”?

Mark Walley: We were invited to participate in “Common Currents” by peer artist Karl Frey, who has been a friend and mentor of ours since taking his art course in college. We were also invited by peer artist Jennifer Ling Datchuk, who is a frequent video collaborator of ours.

When you received 1891 as your assigned year, did you immediately know your piece would be about the Battle of Flowers Parade?

Angela Walley: We immediately did an online search and were so excited to discover Fiesta San Antonio started in 1891 with the first Battle of Flowers Parade. We were very fortunate to receive such a significant year in San Antonio’s history, but also felt pressure to create a work of art that lived up to that history.

Did you learn anything unusual about the origins of the Battle of Flowers?

MW: The majority of the literature you’ll find will discuss how Fiesta began as a parade of decorated horse-drawn carriages to honor fallen soldiers of the Alamo and the Battle of San Jacinto. The story typically ends with something like, “The first Battle of Flowers Parade in 1891 was considered a great success that quickly became a city institution.” But I discovered a newspaper article from 1891 published in the San Antonio Daily

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Light that describes a chaotic display of social disorderliness which unfolded after the parade entered Alamo Plaza. The procession was meant to end with a mock flower battle where participants could pelt each other — as well as bystanders — with flowers. The article describes a fight that waged for nearly an hour between the elite parade participants and the massive crowd of 15,000. Flowers were torn from carriages; a buggy was overturned and horses ran loose into the crowd; a fist fight broke out, leading to the arrest of two men; and carriage whips and umbrellas were used for defense on the crowd. The article so vividly described the scene that we were inspired to visually tell that story.

Did your piece take any stylistic cues from Robert Jenkins Onderdonk’s 1903 painting Fall of the Alamo?

MW: We knew we wanted to work in photography as our medium and create an image that portrayed the “social disorderliness” side of the story, but we needed another component to tie it together. We wanted to make a connection to the Alamo as both the site of the famous battle and also the location of the first Battle of Flowers Parade, so we researched imagery that had been created about the Battle of the Alamo. When we saw Onderdonk’s iconic painting, we knew it would be an incredible image to recreate. The dynamics between the Texian defenders and the Mexican army perfectly aligned with the elite-versus-the-crowd story we wanted to tell. We replaced the weapons with flowers and recast Davy Crockett as Ellen Maury Slayden, [one of the organizers of the first] Battle of Flowers Parade.

Since most folks know you as filmmakers, what can you share about working in still photography and the challenges of staging a shot this complex?

AW: We recently completed our debut feature-length documentary film, Tia Chuck: A Portrait of Chuck Ramirez, and a very significant component to making that film was staging recreations that represent significant moments in Chuck’s life. So cinematic recreations have been on our mind, but we’d never pulled off anything with this many characters for video. Compositing photographs gave us the opportunity to create a much more dynamic image than would have been possible in video.

“Common Currents” remains on view by appointment at the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center’s Progreso Building through April 29; 1300 Guadalupe St., (210) 271-3151, guadalupeculturalarts.org.

ARTS + FEATURE: ARTS +CULTURE CULTURE

The Walleys weigh in on the ‘battle’ that launched Fiesta BRYAN RINDFUSS

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SCREENS

Dead Man Acting

KIKO MARTÍNEZ

notably in Her, Inherent Vice and the underappreciated The Immigrant — Phoenix proved that the gear he is currently operating in isn’t one most actors can shift into easily.

Phoenix doesn’t let up in the least in You Were Never Really Here, a bleak, dramatic thriller that landed him Best Actor accolades almost a year ago at the Cannes Film Festival. Written and directed by Lynne Ramsay (We Need to Talk About Kevin), it’s no surprise an independent film as despairing as YWNRH has rolled out nationwide over the last few months at such a leisurely pace. This isn’t the type of project typical moviegoers are going to flock to see. Nor is it one that even the most hardened cinephiles would probably consider enjoyable to watch.

What can be said, however, about YWNRH — besides praising Phoenix’s striking turn — is that Ramsay has created an unnerving and aggressive cinematic experience.

There is a thin layer of grime that coats the narrative of YWNRH that is extremely hard to shake. In fact, in recent years, the only other non-horror films that have felt this demoralizing are Denis Villeneuve’s two 2013 offerings, Prisoners and Enemy, Jonathan Glazer’s 2013 sci-fi drama Under the Skin, Tom Ford’s 2016 crime thriller Nocturnal Animals and Ana Asensio’s 2017 chilling film Most Beautiful Island.

Someone grab the soap, stat!

As well casted as those films are, none of them feature a damaged Phoenix at the peak of his career.

In YWNRH, he

AMAZON STUDIOS

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Circa 2010, something snapped inside Joaquin Phoenix. We’re not talking about his intentionally awkward marketing crusade for his mockumentary I’m Still Here where he appeared dazed on Late Show with David Letterman and provoked talk of a mental health crisis. No, the sudden change in him was more profound than any simulated psychosis. It was like he flicked a switch and raised himself to another level as an actor.

Sure, Phoenix was a solid performer before that. He had already earned two Oscar nominations — for Gladiator and Walk the Line — and he’s always been popular with mainstream audiences despite never starring in a major tent-pole franchise. But when he received his third Oscar nomination for his transcendent role in writer/director Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master, followed by a streak of portrayals of emotionally tormented characters — most

Joaquin Phoenix continues his exploration of damaged characters in You Were Never Really Here stars as Joe, a disturbed veteran who works for a private investigator to track down missing girls. Joe’s newest mark is a high-profile one. Nina (Ekaterina Samsonov), the 13-year-old daughter of New York senator Albert Votto (Alex Manette), has run away and may have been abducted by an underground sex ring. Armed with a ball-peen hammer, Joe ventures out to reclaim the child, unaware that the situation he is about to confront goes far beyond his paygrade.

A cornerstone of Joe’s character is that he’s a flawed man haunted by a violent past. He’s there to do one job and nothing more. He’s the epitome of an antihero, and Phoenix plays him flawlessly. For example, when he finds Nina (calm down, it’s in the trailer), there are other underage girls in the house, too, whom he could probably save, but leaves them behind, presumably because they are not part of his mission. Joe is like Javier Bardem’s villain in No Country for Old Men or the evil entity in It Follows. They’re soulless, unstoppable forces that aren’t distracted by fear or virtue. What makes Joe distinctive, however, are two traits: the glint of humanity he still possesses deep inside his blackened heart, and the indifference he feels for himself. The latter puts such a heavy weight on Phoenix’s shoulders, one might think he was on the Road to Calvary.

Joe is dead inside, and Ramsay knows precisely how to use that to the story’s advantage. There are scenes in YWNRH where it almost feels like the film could fade to black at any moment. As the dissonant and offbeat electronic score of Oscar-nominated composer Jonny Greenwood (Phantom Thread) pushes Joe to the brink, audiences may wonder if he will make things easier by simply removing himself from the equation. His self-hatred will make it tough for viewers to connect to the character on any meaningful level, but with YWNRH, it’s probably a good idea to keep a safe distance.

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BUNCHES OF

BRUNCHES

RON BECHTOL

A year into its tenure, NOLA Brunch & Beignets makes breakfasts worth waking up for

>

The phrase “put an egg on it” would seem to be a simple enough (and lately pervasive) statement about making a complete meal out of something allegedly incomplete on its own – say a plate of plain asparagus not wrapped in prosciutto or draped in hollandaise.

But then Urban Dictionary gets involved with a more urban meaning, a food ‘zine in Brooklyn calls itself “Put A Egg On

It”… and folks such as myself with a long local food memory begin to think back to Bigz Burger Joint and its option of making a burger “dirty” with a fried egg. Make it gloriously messy with a poached egg might have been the mantra governing the watercress salad (or was it frisée?

The food memory may be long, but it’s not always perfect) at the late Bistro Vatel.

No longer a mere meme, the added egg has become entrenched.

And there’s no better place in town to prove the point than NOLA Brunch & Beignets. There’s an abundance of egg on the menu – sometimes, such as with the blue crab omelette, it’s even indispensable.

The avocado tostado, already superloaded with accessories such as sautéed mushrooms, fried shallots, radish and crema, is adorned with a fried egg. A fried egg also tops the Cajun boudin flautas that start out wrapped in chiletinted tortillas that then get inundated in chipotle gravy and melted cheese. Would we miss it if it weren’t there? Maybe not.

But by the end of this apparent exercise in excess, just when the zingy preserved lemon cream is finally kicking in, the whole thing finally seems right. Score one for added egg.

Eggs are the whole point of Eggs Rockafella; the NOLA brunch plate is built on scrambled, which take all too well to praline bacon. A previous iteration of the grillades employed a poached egg; the Crescent City hash, a cheffy (and worthy) deconstruction of the dish, goes for a chunkier style than usual with andouille and cubed sweet potato, all crowned with a fried, poached egg for a two-step variation on the theme. Uptown Eggs Bennie require two poached eggs.

On my Bennie order, one of those eggs was perfectly oozy, proving the point of putting an egg on it in the first place; the runny yolk helped meld together the crumbly buttermilk biscuit and the deftly fried green tomatoes. Egg number two arrived overcooked. No unifying ooze. Insert frowny face here. But the accompanying shrimp creole, maybe standing in for the standard recipe’s Canadian bacon, is just spicy enough to add the touch of pizazz the dish needs.

There’s a new sandwich I guess we could call “dirty” at NOLA as it employs an over-easy egg. With spicy sausage at its

core, the McDowell also comes with some slabs of superlative bacon, a dab of Creole hollandaise, and just enough melty pepper jack cheese. It’s gloriously messy and right up there with the best of SA’s sammies.

(Though the very best, IMHO, was the late and now-lamented pastrami formerly served at The Cookhouse, now closed for lunch, where it was a star option. Maybe bring it back at NOLA? Please?)

I did order some things unegged at NOLA. The fried oysters, perfect in their cornmeal crust and beautifully served by a mustardy remoulade, needed nothing more. The new version of NOLA’s brisket grillades also does without. A New Orleans breakfast/brunch classic, this is a dish that depends on its gravy.

Fortunately, it’s bold and outgoing here as the beef alone is a little shy and retiring.

Fortunately, too, the kitchen has bedded the grillades on creamy grits and added a scattering of atchara, which turns out (who knew?) to be a pickled papaya condiment in its original form. NOLA’s rendition seems to be more of an agrodolce with raisins, onions, olives and a smattering of peppadew—but it works.

Beignets, part of NOLA’s name after all, are available paired with glazed chicken wings in a kind of riff on chicken and waffles. Traditionalists, on the other hand, may want to order the simple classic unencumbered by anything other than a Mt. Fuji’s worth of powdered sugar topping. (Word to the wise: don’t wear black.) I haven’t yet tried any of the stuffed versions—lemon curd sounding especially enticing, but the original, accompanied by a cup of the house’s mellow café au lait, is eminently satisfying. The accommodating staff will keep filling that cup, by the way. At some point, you simply have to say, “No more!” and push away from the table. Even if you didn’t have eggs.

NOLA Brunch & Beignets 111 King's Ct., (210) 320-1572, eatatnola.com The Skinny NOLA inhabits its colorful cottage on King's Court with Crescent City flair and occasional flashes of inspiration such as the Uptown Eggs Bennie. Order oysters because they're good, fried green tomatoes because they're classic, and the McDowell sandwich because it's gloriously excessive. Order beignets with their exuberant powdered sugar topping at your own sartorial risk. Best Bets Fried oysters, fried green tomatoes, Cajun boudin flautas, McDowell sandwich, Uptown Eggs Bennie Hours 8am-2pm Tue-Sun Prices $10-$16 BOF_Current_Ad.pdf

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MON- FRI 5:30AM-4PM | SAT 6:30AM-4PM • SUN 7:30AM-3PM

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CURRENT • April 18-24, 2018 • sacurrent.com

FOOD

Big The

Spoon

In Defense of Chicken on a Stick

CULTURE

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History-rich bites need to persist JESS ELIZARRARAS | @JESSELIZARRARAS

>

Last year, as the city grew to a hum that sounded eerily like mariachis and “Hey Baby Que Paso,” between posts for medals and wreaths and giant hats, I stumbled on this: “Don’t be a Fiesta fattie.”

It doesn’t really matter where that nasty phrase came from. But it does matter that it struck a chord, a loud plonk, if you will.

Fiesta fare for the uninitiated is a mix of fairground foods meet cultural snacks.

And just about every event has a handful or more of booths dedicated to providing San Antonians with bites that can’t be found elsewhere. It was only in the last few years, really, that we started finding chicken on a stick on menus such as Benjie’s Munch, Chisme, and, most recently, Anchor Bar.

And no event does it better than A Night in Old San Antonio.

Now in its 70th year, which is a feat worth celebrating in its own right, NIOSA (pronounced either nee-osah or nighosa, up to you) hosts more than 85,000 people throughout four days of Fiesta San Antonio. It’s the largest fundraiser for the San Antonio Conservation Society, and it’s entirely run by volunteers, most of whom devote several sleepless days and nights to building booths, ordering ice, and preparing a lot of snacks.

How much food, you ask? The San Antonio Conservation Society estimates NIOSA-goers will eat 1,700 pounds of beef, 11,000 pounds of chicken, 5,000 pounds of sausage, 3,000 turkey legs, 25,000 buns, rolls and bolillos,

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FOOD

Big The

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30,000 tortillas, 2,000 pounds of masa, 6,000 tamales, 15,000 pounds of fruits and vegetables, and 1,000 pounds of guacamole.

That’s a lot of Bongo-K-Bobs.

La Villita, which hosts festivals regularly, turns into makeshift food villages. There’s Mission Trail, Hay Market, Froggy Bottom, Mexican Market, Sauerkraut Bend, China Town, Main Street, Clown Alley, Villa España, Frontier Town, South of the Border, Irish Flats and the French Quarter.

Each features a different bite that shares some of San Antonio’s past.

Hands down one of my favorite events — if that hasn’t been made clear thus far — NIOSA packs in a bit of everything. My list of musts includes potato pancakes and bratwurst at Sauerkraut Bend; roasted corn at Mission Trail; freshly made corn tortillas with a little butter at Maria’s Tortillas; anticuchos (shish kebabs formerly made with beef heart

in the Peruvian tradition) and tamales at Mexican Market; crayfish etouffee at the French Quarter; Shypoke eggs at Frontier Town; and frog legs and Mr. Chicken at Froggy Bottom.

No, Fiesta food isn’t necessarily the healthiest by any means. But what it often lacks in complex carbs, it makes up for in history. Maria’s Tortillas pays tribute to founder Maria Luisa Ochoa, a housekeeper for Conservation Society president Ethel Harris 30 years after NIOSA launched. You won’t find calf fries — sliced bull testicles, deep-fried for your sampling — these days, but that's because the price has skyrocketed.

Fiesta fattie? Maybe. Novice San Antonio historian? Definitely. If a Night in Old San Antonio provides you with anything — other than an entire meal and then some — it should give you an unparalleled look at San Antonio’s past, present and future.

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sacurrent.com • April 18-24, 2018 • CURRENT 37

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CURRENT • April 18-24, 2018 • sacurrent.com

NIGHTLIFE

FIESTA DRINKS

JESSICA ELIZARRARS

Change up your cocktails this Fiesta

JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

>

Fiesta is here, and that means parties across the city. Though going to some events means you might not score anything above a wine margarita or well mixer, there are ways to jazz up your boozin’ at home (or in very cleverly disguised and mega-discreet tumblers).

For the following recipes, we retooled the daiquiri with festive flowers, available at most health or Mexican food stores; added booze to almost two cups worth of fruit (which means it’s healthy, right?); and said, “Yes way” to rosé with a Fiesta-ready wine cocktail that’s at least more on trend than wine margaritas at NIOSA. Try them when you’re taking a break from stacking cups or when you’re pre-gaming for Cornyation or at your Flambeau-viewing party.

Viva Fiesta!

Hibiscus Daiquiri Makes 1

Tequila Freezer Makes 1

Rosé Plus Makes 6

Ingredients 1 1/2 ounce white rum 1/2 ounce simple syrup 1 ounce lime juice 1 dried hibiscus flower

Ingredients 1 part frozen papaya 1 part frozen pineapple 1 part frozen banana slices 1 part frozen orange slices 1 part coconut milk ice cubes 1 part silver tequila

Ingredients 2 cups watermelon, chopped into 1-centimeter cubes 1/2 cup Dolin Vermouth de Chambéry Rouge 1 bottle of your favorite rosé

Directions // In a high-speed blender, toss in papaya, pineapple, banana, orange, coconut milk and tequila. Blend until smooth; time varies depending on blender.

Directions // In a pitcher, combine watermelon, sweet vermouth and rose. Stir to combine. Serve with ice.

Directions // Add rum, simple, lime juice, and hibiscus flower to shaking tin. Add ice and shake well. Strain into chilled coupe.

sacurrent.com • April 18-24, 2018 • CURRENT 39

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CURRENT • April 18-24, 2018 • sacurrent.com

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MUSIC

Luminous Dark Garrett T. Capps steals some spotlight and, on new album Back in the Shadows (Again), sounds like he deserves it

COURTESY OF GARRETT T. CAPPS

JAMES COURTNEY

≥

Garrett T. Capps is a man on the rise. And he’s taking the San Antone Americana scene with him – hopefully.

No stranger to anyone who’s followed local music over the past 10 years or so, Capps has hung his hat on his ever-sharpening ability to write relatable, engaging, and sometimes provocative songs, his earnestness, and his oddly-satisfying restlessness.

From his early days as a one-man band/cow-punk wrecking crew, often playing shirtless and full of a particularly Texan brand of Dionysian abandon, to his first forays into roughshod roots-rock, from his unexpectedly excellent fusion of krautrock and Americana on 2016’s Inc. EP to his triumphant return to roots-rock on that same year’s Y Los Lonely Hipsters LP, Capps has demonstrated an easygoing penchant for sonic exploration that pays real dividends.

Even as he’s preparing to release his (stellar) latest album Back in the Shadows (Again) on May 4, it’s Capps’ old album Y Los Lonely Hipsters, or rather its best track 42

CURRENT • April 18-24, 2018 • sacurrent.com

“I Was Born in San Antone” that has blessed the singersongwriter with some timely shine.

Recently, that song – a rambling and rollicking bluesrock sizzler that name checks SA staples as disparate as USAA, Flaco Jiménez, lengua, Matt Bonner (and several other Spurs), Hogwild Records and more – was featured in the Season Three premiere of Showtime’s hit series Billions, exposing Capps’ music to the nearly 1 million viewers who watched the premiere live and the many who have streamed it after the fact.

In a story that seems readymade for a Spotify ad targeting up-and-coming musicians, Capps explained, as we caught up over the phone a few weeks ago, that the Billions-bump – which seems perfectly-timed ahead of Capps album release, despite being the product of sheer chance – came as an after-the-fact result of an official SXSW showcase that Capps played in last April.

“Nobody was there except for a few of my friends,” Capps remembers of the showcase, a San Antonio

spotlight affair. “But,” Capps laughed, “the organizer told me that being a part of the showcase might get people to go to my website or something.” Turns out that organizer (Jeff Smith of Saustex Records) was right – sort of.

Several songs from Y Los Lonely Hipsters, including “San Antone,” were added, without Capps even realizing it, to an official SXSW Spotify playlist. This, Capps reports, caused a massive uptick in plays for him. More importantly, however, is the fact that Capps inclusion on this official playlist led Billions director and one-time music industry A&R professional Brian Koppelman to hear “San Antone” completely by chance. He was captivated by it.

After hearing the song, Koppelman tracked Capps down and told him that he loved the song and planned to use it in his show. And, months later, he did just that: parts of the song play through the first minute and a half of the season premiere.

While Capps isn’t exactly sure what will come of this, he’s got a good feeling that something will. “He’s

COURTESY OF GARRETT T. CAPPS

sacurrent.com • April 18-24, 2018 • CURRENT 43

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defi nitely helping me out more than anyone has ever helped me out,” Capps said of Koppelman. “He’s truly championing the song because he loves it, which is amazing.”

I guess sometimes that whole “playing for exposure” thing kinda works out, huh? Just how well it has worked out for Capps’ music career remains to be seen.

What I can tell you is that his new album, recorded with his band NASA Country, provides an ideal focus for any new attention Capps manages to get.

His most country album to date, Shadows falls in the category of psychedelic country, or “space country” as Capps is fond of calling it. The sound on the album finds Capps pulling all of his musical interests together for a finished product that is moody, atmospheric, danceable, thought-provoking, and, above all, generous and open-hearted, loose and ambling without sacrificing a bit of polish.

In fact, this is easily the most refi ned, tight and polished recording Capps has ever put his name on, which is not an accident. “I wanted to do something new and do a real-deal, professional-level album, but I didn’t know how it would come out,” Capps explained.

Of the sound, which is different but not too different for Capps, he said he was “looking to do a country album, but the plan evolved when Justin Boyd [on modular synthesizer] and Torin Metz [on guitar, lap steel, and vocals] came onboard with the band.”

“You have to be far out with those guys,” a chuckling Capps said of the two musicians who each have reputations as fonts of psychedelic sound in San Anto.

Capps told Shadows producer Lucas Oswald that he “wanted this record to sound like The Byrds were recording Sweetheart of the Rodeo and Jerry Jeff Walker was there and then aliens showed up and took over the sessions.” And, as crazy as that sounds, I’d say he got pretty close.

The album, which will come out digitally and on vinyl (through Shotgun House Records) on May 4, is a start-to-finish delight that will quickly and permanently endear itself to fans of the likes of Sturgill Simpson (especially his Metamodern Sounds in Country Music vibe) and Jason Isbell, as well as fans of legends like Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Jerry Jeff Walker, Blaze Foley, and Townes Van Zandt.

If that last bit sounds like tall talk to diehard outlaw country fans, just check out album tracks “Ballroom,” “The Interstate 35 Waltz,” “Here Right Now” (a personal favorite and the album’s centerpiece), and “Baby Please.” You’ll be convinced that Capps is the real deal in no time. He’s got that special something that can instantly make you remember that country music can, in the best of cases, be a mystical thing.

To celebrate the release of Shadows, Capps has planned a doozy of a dual album release show with D.T. Buffkin, who will drop his new album Saturday Night, Sunday Morning on the same day. The lineup for the show really could merit its own article.

Featuring San Antonio legends Augie Meyers, Flaco Jiménez, and Santiago Jiménez Jr., as well as a host of other great local talent, the show represents the coming together of generations of musicians. It’s the kind of event that, if one were inclined to romanticism, might lead one to conclude that the San Antonio Americana/ roots/country/Tex-Mex scene is about to have its next big moment.

3 3 0 e g r ay s o n s t THE DEER AND THE FRONT COUNTRY WED., APR 18• DOORS: 7PM/ SHOW: 8PM

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APR. 28 • JOSH WARD WITH DREW FISH BAND

MAY 4 • LYLE LOVETT & HIS LARGE BAND

KYLE COOK (OF MATCHBOX TWENTY) SUN., APR 22• DOORS: 7PM/ SHOW: 8PM

Cinco de Mayo Tex-Mex Fiesta w/ Garrett T. Capps, D.T. Buffkin, Augie Meyers, Flaco Jiménez, Santiago Jiménez Jr., El Campo, Los #3 Dinners, Topo Chica, The Shut Ups, and Pochos Chidos Free, 4pm-11pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com.

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CURRENT • April 18-24, 2018 • sacurrent.com

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Originally called Grace Park & The Deer, Austin-based indie folk band The Deer isn’t just some dime-adozen hipster folk band from Texas begging for listeners. Their music is smart, well thought out and has an attention to detail that shines through in their songs, setting themselves apart from the more mundane tendencies of the genre. And even though they’ve actually played San Antonio a lot more lately, if you haven’t seen ’em live yet, you’re missing out on one of the best regional acts. With Front Country, $13-$45, 7pm, Sam’s Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 223-2830, samsburgjerjoint.com.

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MICHAEL SCHAFFER

Well damn, son, Hudson Moore is one sexy country dude. On his latest album Getaway, you’ll get the feeling he’s singing straight to you, especially on “Sand in The Bed” – “swimming under those king size covers and wrapping my arms around you, sweetheart.” (Yes, Gawd!)

His baritone vocals, accented with a hint of country twang, serenade the listener as country pop rock progressions sail you far away from all the complicated dealings of your average American life.

Incorporating elements of folk and atmospheric indie rock, Moore finds a way to communicate a relatively overdone sound in a sharp and interesting way. $10$50, 7pm, Sam’s Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson St. – Chris Conde THU

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The Doobie Brothers Grammy Award-winners The Doobie Brothers are gearing up to rock the Majestic Theatre, helping to make 2018 quite the year for classic rock in San Antonio. Foreigner just headlined the San Antonio Stock Show & Radio, Bon Jovi rocked the Alamo City back in March, and Journey and Def Leppard announced recently that they’ll be co-headlining a tour that will stop at the AT&T Center in August. Party on, Wayne. Party on, Garth. $59.50-$115.00, 8pm, Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-5700, majesticempire.com.

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Hudson Moore

COURTESY HUDSON MOORE

ANDREW MACPHERSON

Willie Nelson + Robert Earl Keen

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COURTESY WILLIE NELSON

What can be said about Willie Nelson that has not been said a million times. The man is an accomplished outlaw country singer who’s released 200 albums across six decades and has won basically every award a musician can score. In other words, Willie is that kind of gentle, cool badass who won’t take shit from anyone, not even when the cops try to jack his weed stash. At 84, this iconic Texan continues to thrive as a relevant and progressive musical and cultural force. Also on the bill is Robert Earl Keen, whose extensive Americana catalog has made him a legend in the genre. $41.57 - $1,430.02, 7:30pm, Whitewater Amphitheater, 11860 FM306 #1, New Braunfels, (830) 964-3800.

FRI

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MUSIC

Yuri + Pandora It really is the year for Latin Pop in San Antonio. With Miguel tearing up the Aztec Theatre last week, Shakira shaking her hips in January, bachata heartthrob Romeo Santos taking our breath away in March and Juanes gearing up to slay us in May, someone let the secret out: we live for Latin pop. On Friday, two of the genre’s best acts, Yuri and Pandora, will rock the Majestic Theatre for a show that’s sure to bring back some memories. Both have been revered in the Latin music community for several decades, and we’ll absolutely be there to soak up every moment. $63.75-$179.25, 8pm, Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-5700, majesticempire.com.

FRI

20

Alyson Alonzo Watching Alyson Alonzo sing is a spiritual experience. When she’s performing at a bar or venue, you can hear a hush wash over the crowd as soon as she releases a string of breathy notes. She’s that good. Apparently, she’s been that good for a while. Alonzo told the Current in a recent interview that when she was 6 or 7, her grandfather knew she had vocal talent and recorded her singing “America The Beautiful.” He played it back to Alonzo’s family as she, not yet being able to stand the sound of her own voice, hid in a refrigerator box in the next room. Eventually, the siren from San Antonio’s South Side started writing her own music, and through the encouragement of an online collaborator she met on Myspace, discovered for herself that she actually could sing. On Friday, the singer celebrates a full decade of playing shows in San Antonio and blessing audiences with waves of alternative R&B goodness. $4, 9pm, La Botanica, 2911 N St Mary’s St., (210) 716-0702, vivalabotanica.com.716-0702, vivalabotanica.com.

FRI

20

CHRIS CONDE

Shredders San Antonio, it would seem, does a better job of supporting the Minneapolis hip-hop scene than it does its own. With the popularity, over the last few years, of shows from the likes of Lizzo, Atmosphere, and Brother Ali, SA has consistently shown its love for the unlikely hotbed of indie hip-hop activity, much of which is centered around the influential Rhymesayers label. On Saturday, local rap fans will have another excellent excuse to be on their Twin Cities shit: Shredders. The relatively new rap crew, which is comprised of about half of the members of the celebrated indie hip-hop collective Doomtree, will come to town touring behind its debut album Dangerous Jumps, which came out back in fall 2017. If you like thoughtful subject matter and delirious wordplay riding atop dark and spindly production, Shredders comes highly recommended. Full disclosure: Current music writer Chris Conde will open for Shredders on this bill. $15-$18, 9pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com.

— James Courtney SAT

COURTESY OF THE SOFT MOON

The Soft Moon 21

ZOE PRINDS FLASH

Darkwave is back from the grave, and it’s devouring its moody victims in increasing numbers of late. If you’re not exactly familiar with the genre darkwave, it’s basically just a sadder, slower new wave, or a gloomier postpunk. At first listen, The Soft Moon sounds like a mix of post-punk/nu-metal outfit Orgy and early Nine Inch Nails. There’s definitely an industrial element but enough melody and enough interesting rhythms to make it danceable and sort of poppy. If you like crying and dancing, you’re in luck; The Soft Moon will let you do both. With Boy Harsher, $12-$14, 8pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com.

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MUSIC CALENDAR WEDNESDAY, APRIL 18 The Doc Watkins Organ Quartet South Texas jazz musician Brent “Doc” Watkins and his organ quartet perform live for a special show taping. $10. Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30pm.

THURSDAY, APRIL 19 The Blues Lawyer Live blues from The Blues Lawyer every Thursday at Hidden Tavern. The band will perform covers from Clapton, BB King, Muddy Waters, and other musicians.

Free. Hidden Tavern, 8-10pm.

Cpt. Kirk Covington Quintet Jazz drummer, Kirk Covington and his band perform an evening of modern jazz. $5. Luna, 8pm.

Heavens Rose Alternative rock band Heavens Rose performs with punk group Last Time. $2. Bottom Bracket Social Club, 10pm.

Jose Amador and Natiao Latin Jazz Mainstream Latin jazz artist Jose Amador performs with the Natiao Latin jazz group. $10. Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30pm.

Joy.Unleashed | The Tour Skillet and For King & Country are joining forces for the Joy. Unleashed tour. The tour marks the second time these two critically-acclaimed acts share the stage for a theatrical, high energy, laser and pyro-filled show. $15-$65. Freeman Coliseum, 7-11:45pm.

New Kingston Known for their progressive and modern reggae tunes. $12-$15. Jack’s Bar, 8pm.

Track N Feels Thursday Indie-pop DJ Idyll Green plays a variety of music, featuring a light show, live remixing and drink specials. Free.

The Bang Bang Bar, Every 7 days, 10 p.m.

FRIDAY, APRIL 20 Covenant, Christoper Anton & DJ Hans 242 Often described as the spiritual successor to Depeche Mode, Covenant has toured the world and released critically acclaimed albums for 25 years. This is their first visit to SA since 2011. Also on the bill, DJ Hans 242 plus the former singer for Information Society Chris Anton. $15-$30. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm.

The Dirty River Dixie Band Inspired by Louis Armstrong and the Hot Five, Kid P Ory and Bix Beiderbecke, The Dirty River Dixie band performs a traditional 1920s jazz style of original songs. $5. Jazz, TX, 5:30-7:30pm.

Donovan Keith The man who never stops moving. First known as the frontman of Soul Track Mind, the band he started in 2008, Donovan Keith embodies the ideals of both stunning vocal ability and infectiously frenetic showmanship. $10. Luna, 8pm.

Judas & The Beast, Blonde Sabbath The very best of Black Sabbath, Judas Priest and Iron Maiden by an all female fronted metal band. $10.

Fitzgerald’s Bar & Live Music, 8:30pm-2am.

Los Tejanos Muertos Texas psychobilly trio prepares for a second CD release with the help of punk band Blood Skid, instrumental surf/garage rock group Nuclear Juarez and hard rock band A.O River. $3. The Amp Room, 9pm.

Monte Luna Austin-based ‘acid soaked sludge’ duo performs with special guests Saigon Sinners and local doom duo Cursus.

Limelight, 9pm.

New Orleans Night Texas jazz musician Doc Watkins is joined by Pierre Poree of New Orleans and friends to perform live. $25.

Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30pm.

Psycho 78 Local Misfits tribute band Psycho 78 performs with punk band Lloronas and Dickie Briganza. Free. The Bang Bang Bar, 10pm.

SATURDAY, APRIL 21 Bidi Bidi Banda Austin’s first all-star Selena Tribute. Composed of members of some of Austin’s premier Latin bands, Bidi Bidi Banda is the refried dream of Stephanie Bergara, a native Austinite who grew up listening to Tejano radio and singing in to a hair brush while wearing her mother’s red lipstick. The Bang Bang Bar, 10pm.

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Mason Jennings, Nicolette Good American folk-pop singer-songwriter. He is known for his simple yet catchy melodies, intimate lyrics, literary and historical themes, and distinctive voice. Performing with special guest Nicolette Good. $17-$70. Sam’s Burger Joint, 7pm.

Kyle Cook Cook has had a high-profile gig since 1996, when Matchbox Twenty – with Kyle as lead guitarist – first burst into the national scene with their landmark album Yourself or Someone Like You. Kyle is joined by Johnny Cooper, an artist who brings an evocative blend of soul, rock and pop. $10-$45. Sam’s Burger Joint, 7pm.

Savage Master Heavy metal band Savage Master from Louisville, KY, performs with speed metal trio Bewitcher, metal group Steel Bearing Hand and thrash band Venom and Leather. $10-$12. Limelight, 8pm-2am.

Sextile Four-piece outfit has all the makings of a revolutionary sound — throwing convention out the window to create an original, genrebending imprint that combines the raw energy of 70’s punk with the intricate and sophisticated structural elements of 80’s postpunk and synthwave. $10. Paper Tiger, 8pm.

Scott Yoder Performing a mix of indie, folk, garage and psychedelic, Scott Yoder is joined by psychedelic rock band Howardian, Mariguana and The Wizard. $5. Limelight, 8pm-2am.

TUESDAY, APRIL 24 Houndmouth American alternative blues band from New Albany, Ind., formed in 2011, consisting of Matt Myers, Zak Appleby and Shane Cody. $20-$22. Paper Tiger, 7pm.

Mariachi Las Coronelas Heavily influenced by Pedro Infante, Vicente Fernandez, Javier Solis and Rocio Durcal, this all-female mariachi group brings a high-energy show sure to impress. $20. Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30pm.

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Zane Williams, The Powell Brothers “Bringin’ Country Back” is more than a catchphrase for Zane Williams. It is a rallying cry for a return to authenticity and substance in mainstream country music, and a fitting title for his sixth studio album. The Powell Brothers is an Americana/Country group from Kingwood, Texas. The group was formed by brothers Taylor and Blake Powell in February 2014. $12$15. John T Floore’s Country Store, 7pm.

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the bottom” and not force Background: I, a 21-year-old andapplied replybytotheads! top, Dr. Shalit affirmed. (The top applies male, enjoy receptive fisting. gentle pressure, the bottom breathes, I’ve also had constipation problems relaxes, and opens up.) all my life. Question: I saw my “If a person suffers from constipation, doctor recently, and he tried to link that should be addressed as its own my enjoyment of anal sex to my problem and not blamed on any type of constipation. (Granted, I didn’t tell anal sexual activity,” said Dr. Shalit. “In him EVERYTHING I do down there.)

My understanding was that there was addition: For obvious reasons, it’s not fun to bottom if you’re constipated, so no causal relationship, assuming www.megamates.com 18+ it would be good to have this problem no serious injuries occur. Is there evaluated and treated by a nonjudgmental something I don’t know? Was my health-care provider who understands doctor just trying to be helpful? that anal penetration—by fist, penis, or Fearing Inner Sanctum Tarnished dildo—does not cause constipation.”

Finally, FIST, your doctor was “There are many myths about anal sex, misinformed, which is not helpful. If you but this is the first time I’ve heard this don’t feel comfortable telling your doctor one,” said Dr. Peter Shalit, a physician EVERYTHING you’re doing “down there,” in Seattle and a member of the Gay and you can find a new doctor—one you can Lesbian Medical Association.

It’s also the first time I’ve heard anyone breathe, relax, and open up to (in a different way)—under “find a provider” at GLMA.org. associate fisting with constipation— typically when fisting is mentioned in the My boyfriend and I just got back same sentence as constipation, FIST, it’s as a cure. But it’s a myth that fisting cures from Berlin, and we had a great time—until the last night. There was constipation, of course, along with anal a dark room in the basement of this sex being inherently dangerous. gay bar, and my boyfriend wanted “Fisting is a safe activity, provided that to check it out and I did not. We are both the top and bottom are sober at the monogamous for now—I’m open to time,” said Dr. Shalit. “It does not cause damage or constipation or any other type of opening things up down the road— and I didn’t see the point of going bowel problem. The same applies to other anal sexual activities including anal receptive down there. I told him that drunk in intercourse (getting fucked) and use of toys a gay bar at 3 a.m. wasn’t the right (dildos, vibrators, etc.) for anal stimulation— time to open up our relationship, and again assuming this is voluntary on the part he angrily insisted he wasn’t trying of the bottom and that both partners are not to do that. But if we’re monogamous and want to stay monogamous, why under the influence of mind-altering drugs during sexual activity.” (For safety’s sake, of go into a dark room at all?

Dude Into Monogamy course, buttfuckers should use condoms and gay and bi men get should get on If it was your boyfriend’s intent to PrEP.) reopen negotiations about monogamy While many The AMPOWER Clinicalpeople Researchengage Study in anal while horny men circled you in a dark while under theAMPOWER influencestudy. of drugs you may be able to take part. There are other study Youplay may be interested in the room, that wouldn’t be okay. But or alcohol, and most emerge unscathed, criteria youDIM, must meet.

The AMPOWER study is testing the safety and effectiveness it is possible forparticipation monogamous ® uninfected, and un-constipated, FIST, If you join the study, your time will becouples of Amphora , a new, investigational, non-hormonal form of to entercycles sexually charged 7 menstrual with three study visitsenvironments plus a phone birthgetting control that is to be used up to 1 hour beforeis sex.

Thea fucked up before fisting not rooms, parties, or swingers with dark the study team. In sex addition, you will have one final birthbutt control is believed to work by maintaining the pH of the can calllike sex best practice.

A fucked-up top visit about 14 to 30emerge days after your cycle.monogamous You will receive vagina in order to prevent sperm mobility and preventing clubs and withlasttheir quickly become an out-of-control top, and a study medications and medical no cost to you.even— There sperm from reaching an egg. commitments intact.tests It’satadvisable fucked-up bottom can be numb to feelings are other assessments and tests you will undergo at each study You may be able to take part in the AMPOWER study if or at least I’ve advised monogamous Additional tests and procedures will be explained to you if discomfort that mean “slow down, ” “stop visit. youof meet the necessary criteria for participation.

If you: couples who want to keep things hot to you decide you want to learn more. and add 18 more lube, ” or “stop altogether.”

• are between and 35 years of age visit those kinds of spaces. Go in for the Despite the factof pregnancy, that millions of people NOW • are sexually active, at risk and desiring erotic charge, soak it up, and plow that ENROLLING! contraception safely engage in anal play, many people Forenergy into each other.

Sous:next goOBGYN more information, please contact Neera time, Bhatia, MD, • have been inthat a steady relationship with the same man believe anal play does irreparable down there.

You might have to bat a few Amy at p. (972) 768-1141 / e. amyfeinhals44@gmail.com for at least months harm to3 the anus—or the soul—and that hands away, but once the other guys Brandie at p. (210) 665-1068 / e. brandiecharles2@gmail. sadly includes many doctors. realize you two aren’t there for anyone Orelse, visit www.Ampowerstudy.com “There is a misconception that these they’ll turn their attentions to others activities can cause damage by stretching who are. or tearing the tissue, when actually the anus is very elastic and much of the mail@savagelove.net 231564 USA Recruitment 20170706 Poster Resized English 1.0 ‘permission to enter’ actually involves @fakedansavage on Twitter intentional relaxation of the muscles by ITMFA.org

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the early history of the automobile, electric engines were more popular and common than gasoline-powered engines. They were less noisy, dirty, smelly, and difficult to operate. It’s too bad that thereafter the technology for gasoline cars developed at a faster rate than the technology for electric cars.

By the end of the first decade of the twentieth century, the petroleum-suckers were in ascendance. They have remained so ever since, playing a significant role in our world’s ongoing environmental degradation. Moral of the story: Sometimes the original idea or the early model or the first try is better. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you should consider applying this hypothesis to your current state of affairs.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Chesapeake Bay is a fertile estuary that teems with life. It’s 200 miles long and holds 18 trillion gallons of water. More than 150 streams and rivers course into its drainage basin. And yet it’s relatively shallow. If you’re six feet tall, you could wade through over a thousand square miles of its mix of fresh and salt water without getting your hat wet. I see this place as an apt metaphor for your life in the coming weeks: an expanse of flowing fecundity that is vast but not so deep that you’ll get overwhelmed.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You’ll soon arrive at a pressurepacked turning point. You’ll stand poised at a pivotal twist of fate where you must trust your intuition to reveal the differences between smart risks and careless gambles. Are you willing to let your half-naked emotions show? Will you have the courage to be brazenly loyal to your deepest values?

I won’t wish you luck, because how the story evolves will be fueled solely by your determination, not by accident or happenstance. You will know you’re in a good position to solve the Big Riddles if they feel both scary and fun.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Strong softness is one of your specialties. So are empathetic rigor, creative responsiveness, and daring acts of nurturing. Now is a perfect time to summon and express all of these qualities with extra flair.

If you do, your influence will exceed its normal quotas.

Your ability to heal and inspire your favorite people will be at a peak. So I hereby invite you to explore the frontiers of aggressive receptivity. Wield your courage and power with a fierce vulnerability. Be tenderly sensitive as an antidote to any headstrong lovelessness you encounter.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In 1973, Pink Floyd released the album The Dark Side of the Moon. Since then, it has been on various Billboard charts for over 1,700 weeks, and has sold more than 45 million copies. Judging from the astrological aspects coming to bear on you, Leo, I suspect you could create or produce a beautiful thing with a similar staying power in the next five months. What vitalizing influence would you like to have in your life for at least the next 30 years?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I beg you to take a break sometime soon. Give yourself permission to indulge in a vacation or recess or sabbatical. Wander away on a leave of absence. Explore the mysteries of a siesta blended with a fiesta. If you don’t grant yourself this favor, I may be forced to bark, “Chill out, dammit!” at you until you do. Please don’t misunderstand my intention here. The rest of us appreciate the way you’ve been attending to the complicated details that are too exacting for us. But we can also see that if you don’t ease up, there will soon be diminishing returns. It’s time to return to your studies of relaxing freedom.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Singer-songwriter Roy Orbison achieved great success in the 1960s, charting 22 songs on the Billboard Top 40. But his career declined after that. Years

later, in 1986, filmmaker David Lynch asked him for the right to use his tune “In Dreams” for the movie Blue Velvet.

Orbison denied the request, but Lynch incorporated the tune anyway. Surprise! Blue Velvet was nominated for an Academy Award and played a big role in reviving Orbison’s fame. Later, the singer came to appreciate not only the career boost, but also Lynch’s unusual aesthetic, testifying that the film gave his song an “otherworldly quality that added a whole new dimension.” Now let’s meditate on how this story might serve as a parable for your life. Was there an opportunity that you once turned down but will benefit from anyway? Or is there a current opportunity that maybe you shouldn’t turn down, even if it seems odd?

will rather mobilize you to attempt a new experiment that ultimately surpasses your original expectations.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn rock musician Lemmy Kilmister bragged that he swigged a bottle of Jack Daniel’s whiskey every day from 1975 to 2013. While I admire his dedication to inducing altered states of consciousness, I can’t recommend such a strategy for you.

But I will love it if you undertake a more disciplined crusade to escape numbing routines and irrelevant habits in the next four weeks. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you will have a special knack for this practical art.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You’ve been to the Land of No Return and back more than anyone. But soon you’ll be visiting a remote enclave in this realm that you’re not very familiar with. I call it the Mother Lode of Sexy Truth. It’s where tender explorers go when they must transform outworn aspects of their approach to partnership and togetherness.

On the eve of your quest, shall we conduct an inventory of your capacity to outgrow your habitual assumptions about relationships? No, let’s not. That sounds too stiff and formal.

Instead, I’ll simply ask you to strip away any falseness that interferes with vivacious and catalytic intimacy.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Germany was one of the big losers of World War I, which ended in 1919. By accepting the terms of the Versailles Treaty, it agreed to pay reparations equivalent to 96,000 tons of gold. Not until 2010, decades after the war, did Germany finally settle its bill and fulfill its obligation. I’m sure your own big, longrunning debt is nowhere near as big or as long-running as that one, Aquarius. But you will nonetheless have reason to be ecstatic when you finally discharge it. And according to my reading of the astrological omens, that could and should happen sometime soon. (P.S. The “debt” could be emotional or spiritual rather than financial.)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In 1824, two British explorers climbed a mountain in southwestern Australia.

They were hoping to get a sweeping view of Port Phillip Bay, on which the present-day city of Melbourne is located. But when they reached the top, their view was largely obstructed by trees. Out of perverse spite, they decided to call the peak Mount Disappointment, a name it retains to this day. I suspect you may soon have your own personal version of an adventure that falls short of your expectations. I hope -- and also predict -- that your experience won’t demoralize you, but

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “I would rather have a drop of luck than a barrel of brains,” said the ancient Greek philosopher Diogenes. Fortunately, that’s not a choice you will have to face in the coming weeks, Pisces. According to my reading of the cosmic signs, your brain will be working with even greater efficiency and ingenuity than it usually does. Meanwhile, a stronger-than-expected flow of luck will be swirling around in your vicinity. One of your main tasks will be to harness your enhanced intelligence to take shrewd advantage of the good fortune.

JONESIN’ CROSSWORD by Matt Jones

“HUE KNEW?”--NONE OUT OF THE ORIGINAL SEVEN. ACROSS

1 Brewhouse offerings 5 Pique 11 Langley or Lackland (abbr.)

14 Billiards table material 15 Cheesemaking enzyme 16 Oolong, e.g.

17 PART 1 OF 5 of a wordplay challenge (the answer is spelled out in the circles) 20 “Bali ___” (“South Pacific” song) 21 Hamton, on “Tiny Toon Adventures” 22 Half, for openers 23 PART 2 OF 5 28 Romania’s currency 29 Six-inch or footlong 30 Hall of Fame umpire Bill 31 ___ Arbor, Michigan 32 Hiatus 34 Q followers 38 Regulation, for short 39 PART 3 OF 5 42 An eighth of octo43 Impulsiveness 45 “The Fountainhead” author Rand 46 _ __ “King” Cole 47 Honolulu’s island 50 Nervous twitch 52 Easter mo. in 2018 53 PART 4 OF 5 58 90∞ from north 59 New Orleans Saints linebacker Manti ___

Answer on page 16.

(2009 VH1 series) 12 Physicist Enrico 13 Rudimentary 18 Is suitable 19 Yorke and McAn, for two 23 Adobe animation platform being phased out by 2020 24 Designer Oscar de la ___ 25 “Les MisÈrables” author Victor 26 “Buy It Now” site 27 “Jeopardy!” creator Griffin 33 Org. for Bubba Watson 35 Cheesy lunch counter orders 36 Not suitable 37 Part of IVF 39 Front counterpart 40 Memory unit rarely seen in the singular form 41 Monogram ltr.

44 Cake, in Italian restaurants 48 “Zero stars” 49 Troubled 51 “Le Freak” disco group 2 Actress Salonga 60 “How can ___ sure?”

53 Summary 3 Spitz relatives 61 PART 5 OF 5 54 Counts’ counterparts 4 Sauna atmosphere 67 Pie ___ mode 55 Have ___ (stop standing) 5 Fleischer formerly of the 68 ___ the occasion (come 56 Doomed one White House press room through) 57 British war vessel of WWII 6 Prepare to drag race 69 Microscopic particle 62 ___-80 (old Radio Shack 70 Vancouver clock setting (abbr.) 7 Lunch time, sometimes computer) 8 Detach, as from a chain 71 “Sophie’s Choice” novelist 63 DDE’s WWII arena 9 Robert who stepped down William from “All Things Considered” in 64 Took the gold 72 Baker’s amts.

65 Alley-___ (basketball January 2018 10 Dr. who focuses on the head maneuver) DOWN 66 Apt. divisions 11 “Confessions of ___ Idol” 1 Back, on board

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

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