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Contents

Issue 17_11 / March 15-21, 2017

ON THE COVER

Happy birthday to us! Well, sort of. Since we missed our official 30th birthday (which would have been been April 24, 2016), we’re using this week to reflect on three decades of the Current as the paper rounds out its 30th year comforting the afflicted and slinging shit at the comfortable. As part of that effort, we’ve begun digitizing some of the best feature stories and essays we found digging through our dusty archives. Dig in for yourself at sacurrent.com. Art direction by Sarah Flood-Baumann

NEWS ·· · · · · · · · ·· · · · · · · · · ·· · · · · ·· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·· · · · · · · · · · · · ·11 Shut It Down LGBTQ activists disrupt, walk out of WOAI “debate” on Texas anti-trans bill

“Puddles of Meat Blood” SA charter schools forced to close after allegedly serving rotten meat Tough Talk Defense attorneys claim Nico LaHood threatened to “destroy” them

CALENDAR · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·· · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·· · · · · · · · ·· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·34

Flier Fatigue Racist fliers pop up around Texas State campus – for the fourth time in three months

Arts and Culture · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·· · · · ·· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·· · · · 40

FEATURE · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·· ·· · · · · · · 16 Thirty Years Young Three decades of slinging ink in San Antonio Political Animals 30 years of politics in the Alamo City Border Patrol An alt weekly on the edge of la frontera Police and Policed Bucking against the police state since 1986 Hurdles & Milestones The evolution of contemporary art in San Antonio When the Current Became Current A look back at our early years Sonic Network Exploring San Antonio’s music scene since the 1986 Time Loop Past becomes present becomes past becomes present… Well Seasoned Critic Ron Bechtol shares his thoughts on past and present trends and SA’s food scene

Our Top Picks of the week

Behind the Scenes Artpace brings transparency to the creative process

SCREENS · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · 43 Ape-ocalypse Now Kong: Skull Island is essentially a Vietnam War movie with monsters

FOOD · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·· · · · · ·· · 45 Tour de Toston Finding crisp, chewy, fried plantain goodness across SA Food Court New bakery, more pizza, more pan dulce King’s Bowl, Refilled Fire, theft can’t keep long-time eatery down

NIGHTLIFE · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · 51 Booze News Where to drink this month

MUSIC · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · 53 Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

ETC· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · ·· · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · 63 Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology

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YOUTUBE SCREENSHOT

CREATIVE COMMONS

NEWS

SHUT IT DOWN

LGBTQ activists disrupt, walk out of WOAI “debate” on Texas anti-trans bill MICHAEL BARAJAS | @MICHAELSBARAJAS

≥

Last Thursday night, WOAI’s Randy Beamer tried to host a “town hall” on Texas Senate Bill 6, the anti-trans measure that started to wind its way through the legislature last week. It did not go well. After about 15 minutes of discussion, LGBTQ activists and allies had heard enough, stood up and walked out of the Tobin Center during the live broadcast. Much of the crowd emptied out into the building’s lobby, where they chanted until security forced them out. Inside the theater, it didn’t get much better after that, as panel members belittled trans people sitting right next to them and warned about the consequences of “forced integration,” all while Beamer asked probing questions about “morality” and “molestation” and whether this whole debate might be “legitimizing” trans or gender-questioning kids. The walkout in protest of the panel wasn’t impromptu. It goes back two weeks when advocacy groups like Equality Texas and the Human Rights Campaign first learned the station had planned a debate with three panelists – Kolby Balcolm, a local trans man and military vet, SA Hispanic Chamber of Commerce CEO Ramiro Cavazos, and Mike Knuffke, a gadfly with the “San Antonio Family Association” who rears his head whenever LGBTQ people want same-sex partner benefits or arts funding or rights or anything like that. The advocacy groups suggested more trans people be on the panel, including activists or policy experts who could talk specifically about the bill before the Legislature. Instead, producers added Weston Martinez, a perennial conservative candidate probably

best known for losing local council and Railroad Commission races than for his firm grasp on state politics, and Shaneka Calloway, a therapist who often works with people in the LGBTQ community – neither of whom are trans. When advocacy groups still pushed for the station to include more people, this was their solution: Have your people sit up front, and the panel can call on them as “experts” as needed. WOAI producer Amanda Emery later chalked it up to a “miscommunication,” telling the Current, “I don’t know if it was on my end or on their end.” Regardless, that made it kind of awkward when Beamer, during a commercial break early on in the debate, ran through a list of people invited but who couldn’t attend (like Lieutenant Gov. Dan Patrick, the driving political force behind SB 6 at the capitol, and Sen. Louis Kolkhorst, the bill’s author), naming Equality Texas as one of those groups. They were right there. Sitting right next to him. One of those people up front was Lauryn Farris, a trans woman and longtime local activist. About 15 minutes in, after Beamer asked Knuffke about the risk of crime associated with trans-accommodating bathrooms and Knuffke launched into a line about school kids, Farris stood up and shut it down. “We’re done here,” she said, before leading what looked like more than half the crowd out of the building. “It was beat up the trannys and appeal to your base, a pep rally for SB6,” Farris told us afterward. “That’s what was happening in there. It was an ambush.” Read more about the “debate” and SB6 at sacurrent.com

TOUGH TALK Defense attorneys claim Nico LaHood threatened to “destroy” them MICHAEL BARAJAS | @MICHAELSBARAJAS

≥

An “enraged” Nico LaHood threatened to “destroy” defense attorneys who secured a mistrial in a murder case the Bexar County DA personally helped prosecute, according to a recent court filing. On Tuesday, lawyers Mark Stevens, Joe D. Gonzales and Christian Henricksen filed a motion to dismiss charges against Miguel Martinez, 29, who stands accused of shooting and killing 33-year-old Laura Carter in January 2015. LaHood personally helped try the case alongside assistant DA Jason Goss, citing “the sheer callousness and cold-bloodedness of the defendant’s actions.” The case ended in a mistrial last month after one day of testimony. That’s because, according to Tuesday’s motion, the DA’s office disclosed that “an unnamed person in the District Attorney’s Office” had a “sexual relationship” with one of the witnesses in the case. The lawyers, who are now trying to dismiss the charges against Martinez, claim that during an in-chambers meeting with a judge over the matter, LaHood threatened to “destroy” them and “shut down” their law practice if they pursued a mistrial on those grounds. “Mr. LaHood became enraged and directly threatened Mr. Gonzales and Mr. Henricksen,” the motion claims. “Looking first at one then the other, the District Attorney said that he would ‘destroy’ and ‘shut down’ their practices and would make sure they never got hired on another case again in Bexar County.” LaHood meanwhile says he “passionately” disagrees with the allegations in the filing, telling reporters last week, “I can’t speak for their heart, all I know is what the facts are and the truth, and I stand by the truth.”

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3/8/17

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11:56 AM

NEWS

TWITTER VIA @SIERRANOTNEVADA

DIE G AL ERN OB

ALEX ZIELINSKI | @ALEX_ZEE

‘PUDDLES OF MEAT BLOOD’ SA charter schools forced to close after allegedly serving rotten meat

≥

All four campuses of a local charter school district — San Antonio School of Inquiry and Creativity — have been shuttered by the state last week after reports of rotting cafeteria meat, nepotism, and administrative neglect were made public in February. SASIC Superintendent Tonja Nelson was alerted Wednesday by the Texas Education Agency to immediately suspend school operations “until the agency determines the school is able to adequately safeguard the welfare and safety of its students.” Until then, the agency added, the district would be cut off from all state funding streams. The state’s biggest problem with the district appears to be its alleged food safety violations in the school cafeteria. A district teacher, who wishes to remain anonymous, said the school had been serving weeks-old ground beef that had been sitting in a dangerously warm refrigerator over the school’s winter break. “There were puddles of meat blood on the floor when they got back to school,” said Rep. Diego Bernal, who also says he’s good friends with this teacher. Bernal says he wouldn’t have known how bad the conditions were at SASIC — and then demand state intervention — without his friend bringing it to his attention in an early February meeting. And it wasn’t just spoiled meat. The teacher left Bernal with a long list of concerns — everything from administrators hiring family members to campus safety officers “roughhousing” kids. Bernal believes he was the last resort for his friend, who had hit a wall trying to bring his and other teachers’ complaints to SASIC administration for months. “It had become too much, and gone on far too long,” Bernal said. “He knew his job was on the line — but cared more about his students' well-being at this point.” Hours after this February 10 meeting, Bernal penned a letter to TEA Commissioner Mike Morath demanding an investigation. Since parents were given no warning of the school’s closure, Bernal’s office is now conducting what he calls “education triage” — trying to help relocate the hundreds of untethered students as fast as possible. Which, he said, is the worst outcome of the SASIC’s mismanagement. “The setting may have been bad, but the relationships between the teachers and their students were real and were positive,” Bernal said. “I hate that we’re forced to disrupt that.” SASIC officials did not return the Current’s request to comment on TEA’s action on Thursday — but later released a statement denying the accusations that shuttered its campuses. “We are confident that SASIC’s buildings, staff, and food are safe,” wrote SASIC spokeswoman Gina Luciano. TEA is holding a public hearing Friday in Austin to gather more input from parents, teachers, and administrators. Bernal is unsure how long TEA will need to thoroughly investigate SASIC’s campuses. According to a SASIC Facebook post, however, all campuses plan on reopening March 20. The post ends on a high note: “We hope you have a wonderful extended Spring Break!!!” It may be more extended than they think.

FLIER FATIGUE

Racist ﬂiers pop up around Texas State campus – for the fourth time in three months

ALEX ZIELINSKI | @ALEX_ZEE

≥

The Texas State University campus in San Marcos campus has been hit by four separate racist fliers in the past three months. The most recent appeared earlier this month near the campus library, emblazoned with black swastikas. “White man, are you sick and tired of the Jews destroying your country through mass immigration and degeneracy?” the poster reads. “Join us for the struggle in global white supremacy.” It directed readers to the neo-Nazi blog the Daily Stormer. While campus police promptly tore the fliers down, this reoccurring trend has left students with a growing sense of unease — especially since the university’s president has refused to comment on the latest incident. A spokesperson for President Denise Trauth told the Express-News she’s already “quite clear”

the fliers go against the “core values of what it’s like to be a Bobcat.” As it turns out, that’s not quite enough reassurance for students. As news of Friday’s anti-semitic fl iers spread through campus, students took to social media to demand a response from Trauth. One student said he’d leave Texas State if these posters continue to go unaddressed, because he fears for his safety. Another told the daily she expects little from campus offi cials at this point, based on their reactions to previous fl iers that appeared after the election – some calling for the tar and feathering of people who support campus diversity, others telling students how to report anyone they suspect is an undocumented immigrant.

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NEWS

Blast from the Past The first year of the Current’s existence, Texas celebrated its 150-year existence. Here were some of what we suggested for Sesquicentennial events back in 1986:

A Bandidos pilgrimage to the Alamo, after the old Bexar County DA Sam Millsap effectively ran the biker gang out of town. “It would be a gesture of unsurpassed bravery, control and the good-natured Texas spirit of fair play and jovial suppression.”

Shower show at the Emily Morgan Hotel – ya know, another fun touristy sight in Alamo Plaza. “[H]ow about a buck-nekked guy taking a leisurely shower behind only moderately frosted, full-length glass in the very corner room on the second floor of the Emily Morgan Hotel? … Miss Emily probably would be tickled, and the event would give a new meaning to the name Bexar County.”

Rambo does Alamo. “Could the Texicans have won the Battle of the Alamo if they had automatic weapons?”

Marty Lee Graphics

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Three decades of slinging ink in San Antonio

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“The Current is an idea whose time has come. It is a newsweekly for those who love San Antonio, who care about her past and her future, who want an intelligent digest of the week in review, who want a good time in print – the San Antonio Current.” That was the founding vision for this humble little alt-weekly, penned by founding Current editor Linda Matys O’Connell in the paper’s inaugural pressing on April 24, 1986. And in the three decades since, we’ve been slinging shit at the powerful, lining the birdcages of our detractors, and working weekly to unearth the fascinating, troubling, and inspiring stories that make San Antonio a city beyond easy description. Not a socialite mag or a glossy, the Current was to be an irreverent, muckracking weekly staffed by gadflies, grumps and young, idealistic malcontents who wanted desperately to push this city forward. Probing and challenging the city’s identity in the '80s meant exploring things like the meaning and history of terms like Mestizo, Tejano, Texian and Gringo; today, we consider the evolving, multi-faceted nature of words like Chingona . For one May 1986 issue, conjunto scribe Juan Tejeda and electronic music pioneer George Cisneros (who back then called his work “folk electronics”) grace the cover, illustrating the dichotomy of this city’s deep musical roots. Police brutality, border politics, development – all issues that echo into today

and are woven into the 30-year history of this publication. Articles remembering Emma Tenayuca and the Pecan Shellers Strike date back to our first year. Grumbling over the Alamodome goes back about just as far. The colonial roots of the missions have always been contemplated in these pages, as have the sordid politics of the city, including the Cisneros affair that ended the local career of beloved Henry (a story the Current broke when SA’s two dailies, the now-shuttered Light and the Express-News, balked). Like most publications of any age, the Current has had its ups and downs. In its early years, the skeleton crew toiled away in the basement of 110 Broadway, churning out stories or ideas that evaded or were overlooked by the Express-News and the Light . In the leaner years to come, the paper even shuttered momentarily, and then published only biweekly. In fat years, when the ad and classifieds revenue flowed freely, the staff cranked out ambitious projects week after week. Through the dedication of this paper’s staff and the generosity of its many owners (we’re now on our fi fth), the Current is among those lucky few that managed to survive publishing’s cutthroat digital revolution. Now, as we here at the Current round out our 30th year, please consider these past three decades of stories, musings and investigations promise that we’ll always strive to punch above our weight.

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News Political Animals 30 years of politics in the Alamo City

BY MICHAEL BARAJAS

n the Current’s first-ever issue, they called it the “Tacodome.” Of course, that raised eyebrows, so in a subsequent story, the paper offered some suggestions for the multi-purpose sports complex city officials, like Mayor Henry Cisneros, were slobbering to throw taxpayer dollars at: Dillodome, Condome, Pooperdome and, our personal favorite, Conquistadome. The Alamodome, its eventual moniker, was just too lame to actually take seriously – “sounds like something an insurance company would call a ‘pre-existing condition,’” wrote former staffer Dwight Silverman. Cue the 30 years of grousing, from public and politicians, over why on earth a major American city like San Antonio can’t land a major sports franchise other than Los Spurs. Development – the razing of what was past to make way for the new and better – was inextricably tied to the city’s political machine 30 years ago. It’s a story that’s been on repeat throughout the lifespan of this paper and one of the many political issues that resonate into today: politicians who prime development that encroaches on angry residents, water politics that date all the way back to the Applewhite Reservoir, or what to do with the city’s crumbling treasures.

Like Hemisfair. Consider one June 1987 article, again by Silverman, that dubbed the park’s post-World’s Fair era “an urban embarrassment” that called into question city leaders’ ability to simply maintain what we already have. Back then, city officials floated a plan that should sound similar because 30 years of concept-ing and vision-process-ing hasn’t really changed it much: that rehabbed park space, retail, entertainment and dining would resurrect Hemisfair. At least today, we seem a little bit closer.

From left: The "Tacodome"; politics covers from the Current's first year, including our volume 1, issue 1 cover story on shenanigans at the Texas Supreme Court

CURRENT / March 15-21, 2017 / sacurrent.com

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News Border Patrol

Three decades sitting on the edge of la frontera BY MICHAEL BARAJAS

hirty years ago it was “Sandinista watch” in Cameron County after politics prodded the borderland sheriff ’s office to prep for quiet invasion following President Reagan’s nationally televised speech warning that Nicaragua was only a two-day drive from Texas. Politicians have long used the rhetoric of national security to flog the borderlands. Then Cameron County Sheriff Alex Perez proudly toted an M-16 in front of photographers and reporters as he warned of drug mules, Sandinistas, terrorists and even cactus smugglers skulking around the region. But for three decades readers have turned to the Current for stories that cut through that rhetoric as a critical voice perched on the edge of la frontera. That has meant covering the human rights and socioeconomic issues related to the border, like a 1992 cover story that detailed dangers and detention faced by women who were then crossing the U.S.-Mexico border in record numbers. That has also meant covering the border’s many victims. Like a November 2000 story by then staff writer Tucker Teutsch III about the unnamed skeletal remains of migrants who died crossing into the country. As he wrote about one unknown victim who died in the South Texas brush: “[D]espite what an autopsy might reveal about the cause of death, the place and time of this man’s passing, there can be no doubt that what killed him was the border, the vast line of ideology and politics that that divides our two countries, this man’s and mine. His death has no place and no time – he is just one of the many thousands of casualties of a battle that has been fought for centuries over land that no one can defeat.” In later years, that turned into Current investigations and series that probed the human and ecological consequences of the many

From the start, border politics and problems with policing have been fertile ground for the Current

miles of border fence and wall that sprouted up during the post-9/11 George W. Bush era. And all that time, questions about migration and immigrants and their treatment in our community have lingered. As far back as 1986, our pages were highlighting “sanctuary cities” policies to protect immigrant families (then, like now, proposed by our more progressive, liberal neighbors up I-35). By 2003, these pages were highlighting federal immigration

enforcement efforts, like the proposed CLEAR Act, that would’ve turned local cops into la migra – at pretty much everyone’s expense. Considering what came next for South Texas in the following decade (the growth of private prison-run detention centers for immigrants, the feds’ attempts to deport and detain their way out of a refugee crisis on border, and human rights abuses that followed more law enforcement boots on the ground), and these

words from pioneering Current staffer Reed Harp in 1986 feel eerily prescient: “Lest we forget about anxiety, consider what might happen if the shooting starts. We predict that the Texas Border could prove to be one of the biggest embarrassments to this country, ever, falling somewhere between Mi Lai and the caging of Japanese-Americans after Pearl Harbor. The Texas Border: a perfect place for an international incident.”

Police and Policed

Bucking against the police state since 1986

ome of the fi rst pages of this publication were dedicated to throwing shade at local cops. It was in April 1986 that then San Antonio Police Chief Charles Rodriguez first decided to engage the city’s spin machine in attempt to sidestep a local controversy. “Breaking with venerable Bexar County tradition, the imported California lawman no longer accepts phone calls from reporters, insisting that they go through the department’s public relations office,” a staffer wrote. Requests for comment at SAPD would now be handled by a “PR lackey-in-blue.” Back then, dispatches from the San Antonio Police Officers Association were no less acerbic than today. That same 1986 issue quotes then

SAPOA president Harold Flammia, the man who turned the union into a powerful, boot-stomping political force before his conviction on federal fraud and money laundering charges. In response to growing complaints of brutality at the hands of SAPD officers, Flammia’s response was, “Thank God all these bleeding-heart, reform minded liberals are not in charge of our city and country.” Three decades later, one of his successors would compare Black Lives Matter activists to anarchists and the Klan. As with other alt weeklies, problems with policing have been fertile ground for the Current throughout its history. It was former Current staff writer Debbie Nathan (now an investigative reporter for the ACLU of Texas) who highlighted how

police were trying to entrap gay men in public bathrooms by pretend “cruising.” Later that year, these same pages detailed widespread profiling by the department’s downtown foot patrol unit – court records and depositions described cops targeting and harassing what they called “dirtbags” or “lowlifes” who usually turned out to be black or Latin poor or homeless people. A decade later, the Current would publish an investigation revealing how, despite city officials’ promised “paradigm shift” approach toward homelessness, police were ticketing thousands with fines they couldn’t hope to pay in order to shoo the downtrodden out of downtown by threat or jail – a reminder how often past becomes present, no matter how much things evolve.

CURRENT / March 15-21, 2017 / sacurrent.com

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sacurrent.com / March 15-21, 2017 / CURRENT 21

Arts

The Ways We Were

A sampling of Current covers through the years

Photos by Bryan Rindfuss

CURRENT / March 15-21, 2017 / sacurrent.com

Arts Hurdles & Milestones The Evolution of Contemporary Art in San Antonio

BY DAN R. GODDARD

orged in the fires of rebellion, the founding of the Blue Star Art Space and Contemporary Art Month ignited the city’s contemporary art scene 30 years ago. At the time, San Antonio artists had a difficult time finding a place to show their work, the city’s museums and other institutions bowed to New York in deciding what was worthy and the entire state struggled to shrug off the label of “Texas regionalism.” The state’s cosmopolitan cultural center from the early 1800s to World War II, San Antonio, by the 1980s, had failed to keep pace with the developing art scenes in Fort Worth, Dallas and Houston. “Fresh Paint” at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, which attempted to define a Houston school, sparked a national debate about how “regional artists” stacked up against New York-approved art stars. Stepping into the fray, the five-year-old San Antonio

Museum of Art announced plans for an exhibit featuring about 25 local artists, “San Antonio Contemporary.” However, the museum’s curator clashed with its director, who abruptly cancelled the show. But in adversity, the city’s artists found commonality and purpose. A loose conglomeration of artists joined together to present the show in an alternative space, an old warehouse provided by developer Arthur “Hap” Veltman. The artists were led by Jeffrey Moore, who was shaking things up as director of the Southwest Craft Center, and included faculty members at the University of Texas at San Antonio, which established a graduate program in studio art in the 1970s, ensuring a steady supply of well-educated South Texas artists. Dozens of artists pitched in to clean up the warehouse on a street named Blue Star along the San Antonio

River in the King William District. More than 3,000 people turned out for the opening of the Blue Star Art Space on June 27, 1986, proving an audience for contemporary art in San Antonio existed after all. Hoping to channel the movement’s momentum in a positive direction without alienating museum supporters, Moore asked City Council to proclaim July Contemporary Art Month as a way of encouraging citywide support for living, working artists. Three decades later, the warehouse has morphed into Blue Star Contemporary, which recently underwent a $500,000 renovation, and is shining brighter than ever. CAM, which primarily existed as a calendar serving as an umbrella for promoting San Antonio’s contemporary art scene, became an independent project and in

The cover and interior pages from “The Blue Star Exhibition” 1986 catalog and a photo of participating artists (images courtesy of Blue Star Contemporary)

sacurrent.com / March 15-21, 2017 / CURRENT 23

2010 officially moved from July to March. Many milestones — and some missteps — mark the evolution of contemporary art in San Antonio: Before Blue Star, the San Antonio Art Institute presented outstanding contemporary art exhibits and brought in nationally known artists for lectures, workshops and shows. Beginning with art classes taught at the Witte Museum during the Great Depression, the SAAI flourished for more than 50 years as a community art school until a plan adopted in 1980 to transform it into a degreegranting independent art college led to a declaration of bankruptcy in 1993. Located on the grounds of the McNay Art Museum, the SAAI attempted to make an architectural statement with a new $7.2 million building designed by noted architect Charles Moore, but failing to gain accreditation because of financial misfortune and erratic leadership, the school declared bankruptcy before construction could be completed. After standing vacant for 10 years, the Moore building was demolished in 2003. Linda Pace, the city’s most important contemporary art patron, chaired the SAAI board during its sad demise, but she learned from the experience. Influenced by the impact of the well-known artists the SAAI attracted to San Antonio, Pace founded Artpace in 1993 and the International Artist-in-Residence program opened in 1995, in the renovated car dealership where it is located today. Setting the tone for the many exhibits to come, Artpace’s inaugural exhibition featured artists chosen by Rob Storr (then senior curator at the Museum of Modern Art in New York), who selected Jesse Amado of San Antonio, Felix Gonzalez-Torres of New York and Annette

Messager of Paris, France. Artpace’s guest curators discovered the city’s thriving art scene and opened doors internationally to San Antonio artists, doing more than any other local institution to erase the stigma of being a “regional artist.” While the culture wars raged, politically charged discussions about establishing a public art ordinance roiled San Antonio in 1996, but the ordinance was rescinded in 1997 and replaced with linguistically less-controversial “design enhancements” until a percent for art ordinance was finally adopted in 2011. Regardless of what it’s called, the work of regional, national and international artists now graces many of the city’s offices, libraries, bridges, parks and other public improvements. Buoyed by the dreams of San Antonio’s Latino artists to establish a national museum for Latino art, the Museo Alameda took the city on a wildly hopeful but ultimately disillusioning ride from 2007 to 2012. Touting the first formal Smithsonian affi liation outside of Washington, D.C., the Museo Alameda opened in a hot-pink building in Market Square as the largest Latino museum in the country. Despite several groundbreaking Latino exhibits, the museum never attracted the huge crowds it projected and financial woes mounted until the closing. A local university briefly flirted with operating the space, but the renamed Centro de Artes is now managed by the city’s Department of Arts & Culture.

Texas’ fi rst modern art museum when it opened in 1954, the McNay Art Museum upped its game dramatically in 2008 with the addition of the 45,000-square-foot Jane and Arthur Stieren Center for Exhibitions designed by French architect Jean-Paul Viguier, providing the city with a world-class space for contemporary art exhibits. In September 2010, Paula Owen, president of the Southwest School of Art & Craft, formerly the Southwest Craft Center, announced the school would drop the word “Craft” from its name and work to become the first independent degree-granting school of art in Texas. The school built a $1.3 million addition to the ceramics studio and successfully completed a $10 million capital campaign including $2.5 million for scholarships. The school has become a center for contemporary art since the 2008 renovation of a former Sears Automotive Center that houses the Russell Hill Rogers Galleries and large, sophisticated studios specifically designed for visual arts. The Linda Pace Foundation plans to break ground this spring for the $16 million Ruby City, a 14,000-square-foot exhibition space that will house Pace’s extensive collection in a facility designed by famed British architect David Adjaye, now best known for his Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture in Washington, D.C. Pace’s dream of a gleaming “ruby city” is scheduled to open in 2018 where San Pedro Creek crosses Camp Street.

Linda Pace on the cover of the Current in 1997; installation view of Annette Messager’s 1995 Artpace exhibition (originally commissioned and produced by Artpace San Antonio, photo by Roberta Barnes); exterior view of Museo Alameda; rendering of the Linda Pace Foundation’s Ruby City (courtesy of Adjaye Associates)

CURRENT / March 15-21, 2017 / sacurrent.com

Arts When the Current became current A look back at our early years BY STEVEN G. KELLMAN

hen the debut issue of the San Antonio Current rolled off the presses in April 1986, it contained the first of more than 500 reviews, features, and columns — on films, books, plays and other subjects — that I would contribute during the next 30 years. Editor Linda Matys O’Connell had invited me to review films and use as many words as necessary to do the job. Opening in town that week was Akira Kurosawa’s Ran, a brilliant samurai version of King Lear. It was one of the greatest films I have ever reviewed, and I had no problem turning in more than 2,000 words about it. When Shoah, a 9 ½-hour documentary about the Holocaust, came to San Antonio, I was not reduced to a brief plot summary. During its earliest incarnation, the Current was a literary Shangri-la, a precious local venue in which writers could practice the long-form journalism found in the Atlantic and The New Yorker. That could be a prescription for selfindulgence, but it also encouraged imagination and innovation, a refusal to write by recipe. For more than a decade, the New Journalism of Tom Wolfe, Joan Didion, Truman Capote, Norman Mailer, Hunter S. Thompson, Gay Talese and other stylistic virtuosos had been making nonfiction exciting and compelling. It had also been challenging political presumptions and social norms. However, three decades after the founding of The Village Voice, the patriarch of alternative weeklies, the Old Journalism of who, what, where and when still reigned in San Antonio. With fierce rivalry between the Express-News and the Light, San Antonio was a two-newspaper town, and they competed mostly through coupons, comics and crime. I was writing a twice-weekly column called “Chewing the Fads” for the Light. Though I relished the freedom to write about politics, books, popular culture, education and whatever else tickled my fancy, I was also constrained by space and taste. A column on hunting was killed because an editor feared it would offend readers. (He was an ardent stalker of wildlife, and the piece mostly offended him.) I jumped at the chance to write for the Current as well, though the Light soon went dark. In 1993, the Hearst Corporation, which owned the Light, bought the Express-News from Rupert Murdoch and proceeded to close down the Light. The alternative press became even more essential in a one-paper town.

Stills from the films Ran (Toho, 1985) and Shoah (New Yorker Films, 1985)

The Current's review of the 1986 film Ferris Bueller's Day Off

The Current happened to be born the same day that IBM unveiled its first laptop computer. Those were pre-digital days, and being a regular contributor in the early years meant rushing down to the office and surrendering typed copy on deadline. There were no websites, so the Current was very much a paper, distributed all over town. Held in individual hands, it was not yet something lurking somewhere in the disembodied ether. Linda and her husband Geoff O’Connell ran the Current with panache — renting upscale offices at the foot of Broadway and throwing elaborate, expensive parties. When they ran out

of money, they ran out of town, neglecting to pay writers and others thousands of dollars. The Current’s deadbeat founders left behind a sour taste but also an appetite for independent thinking and lively expression. When some out-of-towners bought the Current and, managing it long distance with minimal local content, attempted to turn it into a generic McAlternative weekly, they failed. Over the years, other owners and other editors have struck their own balances between investigative reporting and lifestyle features, always contending with the tricky economics of manufacturing a product that readers get for free. However, the Current has become an integral part of San Antonio’s growth as a vibrant and sophisticated city. It is no accident that the paper is roughly contemporary with such institutions as the Blue Star Arts Complex, Jazz’SALive, Jump-Start Performance Company, Tejano Conjunto Festival, KSTX, the San Antonio Museum of Art, Gemini Ink, URBAN-15, Esperanza Peace and Justice Center, and Santikos Bijou. It has outlasted Joske’s, Handy Andy, Datapoint, the Gunslingers, the Iguanas, and the Central Park Fox. The Current remains a witness, stimulant, and symbiont to it all.

sacurrent.com / March 15-21, 2017 / CURRENT 25

CURRENT / March 15-21, 2017 / sacurrent.com

Music

Sonic Network BY PAGE GRAHAM

et’s step into the Wayback Machine to check out San Antonio’s mid1980s music scene. Back then I was a television director for Univision, sound guy at Earfood concerts, and an occasional Current freelancer. The dominant live music genres were Tejano (yes, I worked with Selena) and heavy metal (gee thanks, Joe Anthony and KISS-FM). And, of course, country and folk were well-represented. New wave was relegated to a few cover bands playing MTV’s greatest hits. But aside from this mainstream, there was a cross-cultural community of local musicians who created a unique San Antonio sound. It all grew out of the 1960s, when bands like the Sir Douglas Quintet, formed by the legendary Doug Sahm, briefly reached international prominence. Similarly, performers like Freddy Fender, Flaco Jiménez and Augie Meyers provided meaningful contributions to the local music scene. Ironically, they would once again rise to even greater prominence when they came together as the Texas Tornados in 1989. “It’s important to look at the past history of music in S.A. since the 1920s,” says Earfood bandleader and retired Express-News music writer Jim Beal, Jr. “San Antonio has always been a vital part of music in the United States.” There was indeed a vital local music scene. It could be found in dive bars and ice houses such as the legendary Los Padrinos, Beauregard Café, The Ize Box, The 12th Hole, Brazakas Reef, Good Time Charlie’s and the Meridien. These places came and went, due to fi nancial woes or other issues, especially noise complaints. The ice houses like Los Padrinos had the hardest time with noise, being open to the outside air to catch the evening breezes. For some reason, the neighbors didn’t appreciate the music.

Looking back, local bands fell into two camps. There were Alt bands like the newly-formed Infidels and the iconic Butthole Surfers, and there were Roots bands like Earfood, Los #2 Dinners, the Smith Brothers and Claude Morgan & The Blast. But back then, hardly anyone made that sort of distinction. They were all “local” bands. Music hadn’t yet been subdivided into sub-genres like post-punk, goth, trance, house, etc. More often than not, the choice of venue was the primary factor. My favorites tended to be the Beauregard (because I could walk home) and Los Padrinos (because it was so fucking cool). You just knew that

whoever played there was going to be good. What were the key differences in the local music scene between then and now? Most of the action occurred on the weekends, there were no Monday-night 10-band paloozas. The venues were fairly small – no Paper Tigers back then. And most importantly, there was no internet. That meant we had to grab a copy of the Current or read Beal’s “Nightlights” column in the E-N to find out what was coming up that weekend. Perhaps check out the band posters at Hogwild Records. Or just show up at our favorite club – that was what we called social networking in the 80s.

Exploring San Antonio’s music scene since the 1986

sacurrent.com / March 15-21, 2017 / CURRENT 27

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CURRENT / March 15-21, 2017 / sacurrent.com

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sacurrent.com / March 15-21, 2017 / CURRENT 29

Music

TIME LOOP

Past becomes present becomes past becomes present…

CHASING THE BUS IS LIKE HIDING YOUR TEAM SPIRIT YOU JUST DON’T DO IT

BY CHRIS CONDE

urs is a musically malnourished city, at least insofar as new or original music is concerned. New music does exist but its cadre is a small one, buried somewhere among the darkened routes of that land of inner city myths that lies inside The Loop.” That’s the bleak assessment from Page Graham's article that ran in the Current some 30 years ago. The cynical among us might argue that not much has changed; realists might point to the natural ebb and flow of talent and money and ambition that’s over time given us artists like Santiago Jimenez, bands like Girl in a Coma or Lonely Horse, or venues and performance spaces like the Paper Tiger (RIP White Rabbit), K23 Gallery or the Tobin Center. And yes, the more things change, the more they stay the same. The grousing in that 30-year-old Current piece prefaced a story on someone still making waves in and around South Texas Music, Chris Smart, and his 80s-era post-punk band Lung Overcoat. You might know Smart from many different things if you’ve lived here for any amount of time. He’s been DJing and making music here for decades. He plays with Chrysta Bell, the Alamo Heights singer who caught the eye of avant-garde auteur David Lynch and hit it big. Smart also co-owns Robot Monster Guitars, a music and vintage shop tucked away at the end of the ever-changing St. Mary’s Strip, which remains the city’s only real live-music corridor. Smart’s assessment of San Antonio’s music scene in the 80s is about as bleak as the intro to that old Current article. “There was no support for local music or at at all,” he says. Media, he recalls, often ignored local music on the assumption that if you were actually any good, you’d be up in New York,

“

Nashville, or at least Austin. Looking out onto the Strip today, he says, “There are ten clubs on this street right now where you can play original music … There was one for the longest time, and it didn’t even have a PA.” That doesn’t mean there aren’t good memories. Smart recalled playing house shows in the 80s with Jeff Smith of the Hickoids until the barbecue joint where Smith was working let them use the patio. There, they’d play alongside a slew of other alternative acts coming out of or visiting the city, including The Dick Gas Five (who would eventually change their name to The Butthole Surfers). Sure, San Antonio has long held the reputation (whether earned or not) as a city of metal heads. But artists like Smart – the kind that have for decades had a home in the pages of the Current – leaned more toward the avant garde. And in fact, Smart says that in today’s young artists, the ones grinding through a punishing scene, he’s seeing a resurgence in the fringe, the weird, the experimental. Enter Filthy. You could argue that the dark wave punk band Filthy is following in the same footsteps as artists like Smart. Smart even befriended guitarist Leonard Guerra and bass player Alex Alvarado in the Tacoland days – their bands would sometimes open for Robot Boy, Smart’s project at the time. They remember Smart introducing them to music like A Certain Radio, an English post-punk band in the style of Smart’s own Lung Overcoat. Which might explain why Filthy has that perfect vintage, 80s-revival aesthetic, incorporating drum pads and sequencers and noisy-pop guitar hooks with Guerra’s brooding vocals. Go back and listen to Lung Overcoat. It’s like we’ve come full circle.

There are some things you just don’t do. Chasing the bus is one of them. Stay safe. Don’t chase. There’s always another bus. There’s only one you. Get next-bus arrival information by texting your 5-digit stop number to 52020. VIAinfo.net/StaySafe VIA Customer Service (210) 362-2020 #DontChaseTheBus

CURRENT / March 15-21, 2017 / sacurrent.com

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sacurrent.com / March 15-21, 2017 / CURRENT 31

Food Well Seasoned

Critic Ron Bechtol shares his thoughts on past and present trends and SA’s food scene BY JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

o put it succinctly, Ron Bechtol doesn’t quite remember when his first review for the San Antonio Current was published. He first dabbled as a food critic in 1979 for San Antonio Magazine (no relation to the current iteration of said publication) before it folded in the early ’80s and later wrote for the San Antonio Light before it went out in 1993. Bechtol began freelancing for the San Antonio Express-News through the ’90s before eventually joining the Current some time after that. He’s seen editors come and go, and has a fair share of reviews, along with food and wine trend pieces that’ll take more than a minute to recall. These days, he’s still eating his way through San Antonio with the same blinkand-you-might-miss-it sass I recall reading as a college student in the mid-2000s. An architect by trade, Bechtol, along with a few others, shared a front-row seat in watching San Antonio’s food scene blossom and even had a hand it in himself (see his time with the New World Wine & Food Festival, the organization that preceded Culinaria). Here are some of his musings ... When did you first start writing? My first review ever in life was Josephine Street, which was interesting because it’s still there and hasn’t changed. In the beginning, oddly enough, everything of interest was pretty much off Broadway. It went from La Louisiane, which was the posh place with Greek influences on Creole French. A snapper with artichoke hearts and mushrooms was kind of the height of luxury in San Antonio at that time. I wrote about them first for SA Magazine as Underground Gourmet. It wasn’t until I started working for the Light that I started using my real name, which was a bold move at the time.

How so? It didn’t change the way I reviewed, but it made it so that when I did run a review of La Louisiane that they considered maybe not so flavorable, I was told they found a picture of me and stuck it behind the kitchen door with instructions — do not admit. Do people recognize you more then or now? I would say then because the industry was smaller and people didn’t move around quite as much. Everything is more mobile now and there’s more of it. Any of the restaurants that were beginning to develop of name for themselves, they knew. What were some of the other hot spots? Valerio’s and Naples, which is one a lot of people remember because of the owner Mr. Ralph. Naples is where Tomatillos is now. Then there was Christie’s, which people might remember because of its sign that had a fish on it and it would flop. And everything ended at Earl Abel’s, which was the place for chicken, and everyone went there — from Alamo Heights to King William, everywhere — that’s where they went for fried chicken. That was the breadth of culinary experience in San Antonio with the exception of the private clubs — The Argyle and the country club, places like that. Places like Mi Tierra had started expanding. The Mexican seafood places weren’t really on the radar yet, nor were there any authentically Mexican places. Places like Rosario’s changed the equation, too, because they started bringing in things that weren’t the typical Tex-Mex enchilada No. 2 fare. I was also thinking of people like Guillermo Ardid, who started attracting an audience from Handy Andy by introducing baguettes and croissants to San Antonio. One day a week he would hold court and do cooking demos and send out recipes. He was an utterly charming guy, this great raconteur. He made French, which was still fancy, accessible. Guillermo moved over to this place off McCullough where he was until he retired. Grey Moss Inn was the place to go for special occasions. It was our steakhouse in addition to The Barn Door. You tend to think of it as a sacred place and not think about the food, which is never terrible but it’s not totally inspiring either. Early on I remember reviewing The Fig

Illustration by Jeremiah Teutsch

Tree and Little Rhein, which were the posh places to go on the Riverwalk. They began to push an awareness of wine, which happened at the same time with the hotels that began being prominent in San Antonio. The Plaza San Antonio, now a Marriott, had a French chef, and a forward-thinking food and beverage director and they started doing wine dinners. Palacio del Rio did theirs, and that was more of a steakhouse kind of place, but it had pretentions. Then there was Joe Cosniac who opened Paesano’s and changed red carpet Italian. There’s also Francois Maeder who purchased Crumpets. It was another way of looking at French and in its early days it was a

restaurant worth paying attention to. It’s one of those time capsule places like Josephine Street. Does that speak to SA’s loyalty or nostalgia that we latch on… I think it certainly does. How else would a place like Hung Fong survive through the years? When did San Antonio start seeing a spike in international cuisine? San Antonio comes by it pretty naturally by way of the military bases. Wives of military, coming back to San Antonio from misadventures in Korea and Vietnam and Thailand. Those restaurants started pretty much

CURRENT / March 15-21, 2017 / sacurrent.com

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around Fort Sam. There’s Snow Eisenhauer who had Viet-Nam on Broadway, which was subtitled something like "crab seven ways." For lots of people, certainly for me, that was our first taste of Vietnamese. It had a lot to do with the air force bases. I’m pretty sure the Medical Center is responsible for bringing in and encouraging a lot of the Indian, Pakistani population because of the medical personnel. My friend pointed out SaniFresh, a company that hired a lot of Asian workers. Van, who ended up on Broadway, was also up there. Were eaters as fanatic back then? I think we have to look at that from the standpoint of connectivity. People weren’t on Facebook in the early ’80s. You got your information from word of mouth or the traditional sources — magazines and newspapers. So when Polo’s opened in The Fairmount in 1985, that was one of those landmarks, a gamechanger in San Antonio. But it was a fairly slow one because of the media outlets available. Through that kitchen cycled a lot of chefs, Bruce was a mini CIA at the time. People like Mark Bliss and Mike Blomberg went out and slowly spread the gospel.

So after Bruce and Andrew Weissman (who received nods with Le Reve in national publications), when did the fervor for a food scene pick up? You mean, right before Pearl? Here’s the interesting thing: It’s not necessarily that there’s any one restaurant at the Pearl that's that influential or that the Culinary Institute of America-San Antonio itself has produced someone wildly influential … yet. That’s a slowish process, but I think it’s a question of look what’s here now, both internal (us) and external (other people paying attention to us). It acts like an implicit springboard, whether or not everything is springing from there.

event, then it’s kind of like no holds barred. I think a critic has to cook, you really have to do it.

When did you realize food was such a big deal? I’ve always looked at it from the standpoint that I’m writing for a traditional outlet and I try to actively avoid Twitter and Facebook. I’m not the best person to say when it became frantic…

What are some of your pet peeves? Non-seasonal items masquerading as farm-to-table … overuse of farm-to-table pisses me off entirely, as do badly described dishes… bad menu writing. Another pet peeve is people that post menus online and don’t keep them up to date. I sometimes do it to myself at times, but when we’re getting too much attention or too little attention and then suddenly you can’t find them when it’s time to check out.

What are some of your eating patterns? I’m kind of a binge cook. People would be surprised at how simple I eat at home. But when I have someone to cook for or an

What would you recommend readers do? I’d suggest they get out of their bubble, whatever it is. Both food and geographic bubbles. The north siders that won’t venture downtown need to get down here because way much is happening here and in Southtown, though for a time it looked like things were going to be centrifugal, but it’s more centripetal it turns out. Get out there. If you’ve never had Indian, go to Royal Cuisine. Find a good buffet where they freshen up the food often and use it as a starter.

Ron’s Latest Hits Time out: Can we just have a moratorium on manipulated mac and cheese? Grayze’s take is simply called “The Mac,” and with its four cheeses, caramelized onion and topping of pickled chiles, it’s decidedly wicked and probably better than many. But enough, already. As it’s un-American to knock burgers, I won’t presume to diss the Grayze Burger. Grayze, March 2016 “Are you a food critic?” she asked — standing over me bearing a plate recently filled at Royal Cuisine’s buffet. “You look like a food critic.” “What does a food critic look like?” I responded, lamely, attempting to fend off further contact. “Well,” she replied, “you have several plates, you’re reading Food and Wine (I was doing Thanksgiving research, okay?), you’re taking notes …” Royal Cuisine. December 2016 On my first attempt to score some classic brisket at 2M, we arrived around 12:15 and had been in line for 10 minutes when the announcement came that it couldn’t be guaranteed there would be much of anything left by the time we breached the door. We took the hint and split. The second time, in 30-degree weather, I arrived at the opening hour of 11 to find the line mostly inside; by the time I left, it was several deep outside the door. 2M Smokehouse, February 2017

Royal Cuisine

Dan Payton

2M Smokehouse

@s.a.vortooth

Grayze

David Rangel

JESSE AMADO

CALENDAR

‘Becoming’ THU

HBO/LIVE NATION

ART

◀ San Antonio artist Jesse Amado presents his latest solo show, “Becoming,” smack dab in the middle of Contemporary Art Month. Continuing in the widely celebrated vein of his recent work, this new collection finds the consistently innovative and whimsically confounding artist playing with concepts as divergent as materiality, design, religion, politics and the social construction of meaning and beauty. Amado, who recently returned from Blue Star Contemporary’s Berlin Residency in partnership with Künstlerhaus Bethanien in Germany, is indefatigable — but also quite playful — in his creative pursuit of metaphysical meaning and astute artistic commentary. Free, 6-8pm, Ruiz-Healy Art, 201 E. Olmos Drive, (210) 804-2219, ruizhealyart.com. — James Courtney

CALENDAR

THU-SUN BRIAN FRIEDMAN

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typical orchestral venue, opting instead to install 360-degree stages on which performers SPECIAL EVENT rove below suspended monitors that display key moments from the show’s six seasons. The tour arrives at the AT&T Center approximately when the show Game of Thrones Live Concert Experience would normally be gearing back up, so it serves as a timely way ▲ With the proliferation of movie/ orchestra and choir, the Game of to top up on Westeros-related video-game-themed orchestral Thrones Live Concert Experience content during the maddening wait for the seventh season. performances touring the world, (try saying that five times fast) $39.50-99.50, 8pm, AT&T Game of Thrones composer weaves in effects more akin to Center, One AT&T Center Pkwy., Ramin Djawadi has taken the a rock concert than a night at (210) 444-5140, attcenter.com. opportunity to proverbially “turn the symphony. In this vein, the — Kelly Merka Nelson it up to 11.” In addition to the live concert similarly eschews the

◀ In an interview with New York Magazine’s entertainment website Vulture.com about the changing nature of political humor, former Daily Show writer-producer Rory Albanese said, “Comedy’s role under Trump should be the same as it’s TOP PICKS FOR THE WEEK always been: a heady mix of truth to power and fart jokes.” Albanese’s recent multi-hat role on the now-canceled Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore gave him the opportunity to test that formula, satirizing the increasingly scary state of the union while playing a creepy bathroom bounty hunter hanging out in a high school girls’ room, a skeezy “backdoor expert” advising the government on the best way to get Apple to open up their iPhones, and the bloody-eared owner of a Flint, Michigan, waterpark. Jokes about farts might not lessen the stench, but they help pass the time waiting for the air to clear. $16, 8pm Thu, 8pm & 10:15pm Fri & Sat, 7pm Sun, Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805, lolsanantonio.com. lolsanantonio.com — Jeremy Martin

Rory Albanese

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CURRENT • March 15-21, 2017 • sacurrent.com

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That’s Not Fair!/¡No Es Justo! ▲ Beginning Friday, the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center will present That’s Not Fair!/¡No Es Justo!: Emma Tenayuca’s Struggle for Justice, the center’s spring production. Adapted for theater from poet Carmen Tafolla and attorney Sharyll Teneyuca’s children’s book

of the same name, That’s Not Fair! tells the story of Emma Tenayuca, a union organizer and labor rights leader who led 12,000 people in the pecan shellers strike of 1938. Staged in celebration of Tenayuca’s 100th birthday, this second incarnation of the play will be accompanied by live music and performances by the Guadalupe Dance Company, and sets out to honor the Mexican American activist who’s been recognized as a heroic figure in San Antonio’s history. $10, 7pm Fri-Sat, 3pm Sun, Guadalupe Theater, 1301 Guadalupe St., (210) 2713151, guadalupeculturalarts. org. — Alejandra Lopez

THE PLACEHOUSE

GUADALUPE CULTURAL ARTS CENTER

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Disgraced FRI-SUN

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Major League Baseball returns to San Antonio this weekend when a pair of championship-starved franchises prepare for a season-long journey to change their fortunes. Back in October, the Cleveland Indians fell to the Chicago Cubs in a World Series for the ages, giving up a 3-1 game lead to baseball’s former lovable losers. The Texas Rangers are no strangers to futility in the Fall Classic, coming one strike short of winning it all against

◀ If timing is everything then the Playhouse is about to make a point with its production of Disgraced, a thorny drama that earned politically inclined Pakistani American actor/author/ playwright Ayad Akhtar a Pulitzer Prize in 2013. Widely produced across the nation in 2016, the 90-minute play zooms in on the complicated life of Amir Kapoor, a successful Manhattan attorney who’s all but divorced himself from his Muslim heritage yet becomes entangled in the court case of an imam charged with crimes agains the state. Fearlessly tackling identity, religion, race, xenophobia

and terrorism, Disgraced comes to a head during an explosive dinner party Amir and his wife Emily (a white artist who draws creative inspiration from Islam) host for a couple comprised of a curator and a lawyer. David Rinear directs Suhail Arastu (as Amir) and Kate Glasheen (as Emily) in the San Antonio premiere of what The Washington Post once described as “a tough-minded inquiry that finds urgent dramatic connections in things that divide us.” $10-$40, 8pm Fri-Sat, 3pm Sun, The Playhouse, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258, theplayhousesa.org. — Bryan Rindfuss

the St. Louis Cardinals in 2011. Perhaps more than any sport, optimism abounds at professional baseball’s Spring Training and with stacked rosters in both dugouts, each fan base has high expectations. Don’t be surprised if outstanding starting pitching dominates the diamond for a few innings, before hitters can take a crack at the Alamodome’s short porch. $10-$77, 7:05pm Fri, 2:05pm Sat, Alamodome, 100 Montana St., (210) 207-3663, alamodome.com. — M. Solis

For Tickets:

.com 800. 745.3000 Theatre Box Office

CHE MALAMBO

APRIL 9

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PROPER MEAL

PROPER MUSIC

PROPER PINT

COURTESY OF BRYAN FERRY

PROPER ST. PATRICK’S DAY

San Antonio, Remember to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day Properly, Sláinte Magners

CURRENT • March 15-21, 2017 • sacurrent.com

JOSH HUSKIN

CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

SPORTS

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COURTESY OF BRYAN FERRY

◀ Bryan Ferry, best known for his role as lead vocalist and principal songwriter in the seminal glam rock group Roxy Music, rose to prominence in an era of rock music that was MUSIC stranded between the gritty and flighty psychedelia of the 1960s and the disco music that ruled much of the 1970s. The sound—sultry, mysterious, and emotional—that he helped forge for Roxy Music, and has continued to explore with varying levels of success as a solo artist, has, MON

Bryan Ferry

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nevertheless, persevered and gone on to influence music as disparate as punk, new wave, alternative rock, indie rock, and electronic. These days Ferry is fifteen solo albums deep and, despite performing Roxy Music reunion shows throughout the aughts, his glam rock days are largely behind him. Nowadays, as heard on his most recent release Avonmore (2014), Ferry’s sound is a bit more rootsy and pared down, though his voice is just as full and seductive as ever. His spring show at Tobin Center should, if recent setlists are to be believed, give fans a generous sampling of highlights from throughout Ferry’s career, including those heady Roxy days. $39.50-$100, 7:30pm, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 2238624, tobincenter.org. — JC TUE only about women’s issues and feeling comfortable in your bad feminist skin, but about issues of race and culture in her own unique and insightful way. As a writer who plays in many genres—from essay and comic TALKS to novel and short story—her PLUS imaginative and reflective talk will be the perfect way to continue thinking about feminism this women’s history month. Free, 7pm, Ruth Taylor Recital Hall, Trinity University, One Trinity Place, (210) 999-7011, trinity.edu/events. –Rachel Cooley

Roxane Gay

COURTESY OF ROXANE GAY

▶ In the ever-present debate about feminism’s definition and role in a woman’s life, Roxane Gay is comfortable being a “bad feminist.” Her 2014 collection of essays by the same title detailed the myriad ways she considers herself an imperfect person and thereby an imperfect feminist. She’s a woman who can’t help but jam out to rap and pop songs that are degrading to women (I think we’re all there sometimes) and she definitely wants to avoid “man work” such as “bug-killing, trash removal, lawn care and vehicle maintenance.” She knows we’re all full of contradictions and made up of more than our gender identity. Her brand of feminism does not exist on a pedestal but does call us to be a little bit braver to make pro-woman choices. Gay is sure to talk not

CAM Open Studios

JOSH HUSKIN

Spurs vs. Kings

◀ By recently dealing mercurial forward DeMarcus Cousins to New Orleans, the lowly Kings began the Buddy Hield era in Sacramento. A 6-foot-4-inch gunner from the Bahamas, Hield captivated college basketball, winning major individual accolades in his four seasons at Oklahoma. Although his game is still adapting to the speed and physicality of the NBA, Hield’s scoring average has jumped by five points since joining the Kings. On the other side of the ball, Kawhi Leonard continues to make a strong push for the league’s MVP award with sensational crunch time plays. Leonard’s overlooked offense has lifted the Spurs to victory in a string of tight contests, while his defense continues to draw comparisons to the all-time greats. If the Spurs overtake the Warriors in the standings, the Maurice Podoloff Trophy should join Leonard’s already impressive collection of NBA hardware. $15-$1,600, 6 pm, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center Pkwy., (210) 444-5000, attcenter.com. — MS

SPECIAL EVENT

▲ A favorite among the signatures of Contemporary Art Month, the CAM Open Studios event offers the community an up-closeand-personal view of San Antonio creatives in work spaces as varied as the artists themselves. Presenting something of a Choose Your Own Adventure Sunday, the daylong affair requires a bit of mapping and planning but easily pays off via memorable experiences and interactions. After getting familiar with the likes of photographer Josh Huskin (11am-5pm, 1100 Broadway, Suite 311), painter and found-object sculptor James Hetherington (noon4pm, 121 Pierce Ave.), the molten glass workers of Caliente Hot Glass (noon4pm, 1411 N. Hackberry St.), mixed-media master Larry Graeber (noon-4pm, 127 E. Wildwood Drive), fastrising drawing star Fernando Andrade (noon-4pm, 15415 Spring Coral, call (210) 584-

8176 for gate code), the artists of gallery/studio Mercury Project (noon-4pm, 538 Roosevelt Ave.), painter Rex Hausmann and others tenants of the eclectic compound known as Hausmann Millworks (noon-4pm, 925 W. Russell Pl.), Clamp Light resident artists Carol Cunningham, Sarah Fox, Sarah T. Roberts, Jen Frost Smith, Tom Turner and Jose Villalobos, not to mention “honorary astronaut” and American Interterrestrial Society member Christine Zuercher (noon-5pm, 1704 Blanco Road, Suite 104), guests would be remiss not to wind down the day at Zollie Glass Studio, where local glass authority Jake Zollie Harper annually holds court over a kid-friendly after party complete with glassblowing demos, DJ music, food truck fare for purchase and complimentary wine and beer. Free, 11am-8pm, contemporaryartmonth.com. — BR

sacurrent.com • March 15-21, 2017 • CURRENT 37

BUY TICKETS NOW maverickmusicfestival.com

YOUNG THE GIANT DE LA SOUL BASTILLE THE NAKED & FAMOUS BOOK OF LOVE MINUS THE BEAR CARLA MORRISON GENERATIONALS SMALL BLACK HONEYHONEY SAN ANTONIO, TX

CURRENT • March 15-21, 2017 • sacurrent.com

CALENDAR

FILM Camille Claudel A collaboration with the

SPECIAL EVENTS San Antonio Folk Dance Festival Concert

THEATER Grandmas Billed as “a heartfelt, hilarious,

Fest of Tails Dedicated to a fun-loving mix

Southwest School of Art, the McNay’s An annual tradition for 59 years and Image of the Artist in Literature and Cinema counting, the SAFDF concert wraps up a series continues with a screening of Bruno weekend of dances, parties and workshops Nuytten’s 1988 biopic surrounding the with a festive finale that brings together romantic, turbulent and ill-fated relationship folk dance groups from near and far for an between sculptor Auguste Rodin (Gérard evening of costumed performances. $5-$15, Depardieu) and protégé Camille Claudel 7:30-10pm Saturday; Our Lady of the Lake (Isabel Adjani). 1:30pm Sunday; light Universtiy, Thiry Auditorium, 411 SW 24th refreshments at 1pm, film at 1:30pm St., (210) 431-3922. Sunday; McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Culinaria’s 5K Beer & Wine Run A nonprofit Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368. dedicated to “promoting San Antonio as an ideal wine and food destination,” The Cabin in the Woods Presented by Culinaria invites runners of all skill levels Splatterjunkie, Pigstagg Records/Video, to trot 3.1 miles through the Shops at La and Circuit 42, Video Dungeon Theatre Cantera to a finish-line reception filled with returns with a free outdoor screening of the entertainment, food, wine and beer. $202012 horror flick following five friends who $45 (register at culinariasa.org), pre-race travel to a remote cabin in the woods. Free, activities at 7am, race at 8am Saturday; 9pm-midnight Thursday; Oak Hills Tavern, The Shops at La Cantera, 15900 La Cantera 7920 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 614-8855. Pkwy., (210) 822-9555.

and honest production,” Forward Progress Arts & Entertainment Center’s Grandmas depicts the all-too-familiar scenarios of grandmothers having to become parents to their teenage grandchildren. $16, 8pm Friday-Saturday; Carver Community Cultural Center, 226 N Hackberry St., (210) 207-7211.

Beautiful: The Carole King Musical

Broadway in San Antonio presents the Tonyand Grammy-winning true story of Carole King’s remarkable rise to become one of the most successful solo acts in popular music history. $45-$163, 7:30pm WednesdayThursday, 8pm Friday, 2pm & 8pm Saturday, 2pm & 7:30pm Sunday; The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333.

Seven-Card Stud Richard David Anthony

directs Gregg Barrios’ new play surrounding brothers Johnny and Pancho Rodriguez and their relationship with playwright and gay icon Tennessee Williams. $10-15, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday; The Overtime Theater, 1203 Camden St., (210) 557-7562.

of kites and dogs, this 11th annual event encourages guests to bring a blanket or lawn chair to enjoy a kid-friendly day in the park with a sky full of kites, four-legged friends of all sizes and breeds, food, live music, arts and crafts activities and hot air balloon rides (9-11:30am). $5-$10, 9am-4pm Saturday; McAllister Park, 13102 Jones Maltsberger Road, (210) 207-7275.

Murphy’s St. Patrick’s Day River Parade & Festival Each year since 1968 the River Walk is transformed into the River Shannon with eco-friendly green dye (dyeing ceremony at 2pm). The parade (4-6pm) features 15 barges filled with bagpipes, drummers, Irish step dancers and singers. Free, 2-6pm Friday-Saturday; La Villita & downtown River Walk, 418 Villita St., (210) 227-4262.

Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest Qualifying Circuit The top male and female finishers in this Alamo City qualifier earn seats at the ESPN-televised Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island, Brooklyn, on July 4, where they will face reigning champions Joey Chestnut and Miki Sudo. Free, (competition registration closed), 1-2pm Saturday; Alamodome, 100 Montana St., (210) 207-3663.

TALKS PLUS “On Not Belonging (Anywhere): San Antonio Artivists on Trauma and Art” In this plática, artivists Sarah

Castillo and Anel I. Flores will discuss how their respective bodies of work address Chicanas’ feelings of “not belonging” and trauma. Free, 10am Tuesday; UTSA Main Campus, One UTSA Circle, (210) 458-4011. sacurrent.com • March 15-21, 2017 • CURRENT 39

ARTS + CULTURE

WORDS + PHOTOS BY BRYAN RINDFUSS | @BRINDFUSS

BEHIND the SCENES

Artpace brings transparency to the creative process

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Despite global recognition and an exhibition history dotted with A-list curators and contemporary art stars, the International Artist-in-Residence program late Linda Pace launched with the opening of Artpace back in 1995 retains a certain air of mystery. While the parameters of the program (which annually invites three guest curators to each select a trio of artists — one from Texas, one from elsewhere in the U.S. and one from abroad — to “live and create art in San Antonio for two months”) are fairly well-known, IAIR exhibition specifics have rarely been teased out in a concrete fashion — meaning that opening receptions often promise a fairly dramatic reveal. Beyond pondering how resident artists use their stipends, fabricate their work and spend their leisure time, the biggest question mark has always hung over what their locally created projects might entail. As a writer who’s almost always had to refer to the previous — and frequently unrelated — projects of Artpace residents as a means to preview their local exhibitions, it came as a surprise last year when the San Antonio institution first opened its studios to give the public “a behind-thescenes look into the artists’ process mid-way through their residency.” Packing a one-two punch as curator of both the curiously titled group show “Did You Ever See Such a Thing as a Drawing of a Muchness?” (on view in the Hudson Showroom through April 30) and the Spring 2017 edition of IAIR, Wisconsin-born Michelle Grabner brought together the trio of Robert Hodge (Houston), Nicholas Frank (Milwaukee) and Kate Newby (New Zealand). An eclectic yet entirely approachable crew bound by thoughtful methods and conceptual sensibilities, Hodge, Frank and Newby spent this past Valentine’s Day welcoming visitors and answering questions about their forthcoming exhibitions, which open to the public on March 16. Echoing this air of transparency, Benjamin McVey inaugurated the newly branded Main Space (formerly known as Window Works) with “Open,” an ongoing installation that led the Houston native to move his painting studio just inside Artpace’s Main Avenue windows, offering passersby a behind-the-scenes view of his artistic endeavors. International Artist-in-Residence Exhibitions

Free // Opening reception 6-9pm Thu, Mar. 16 // On view noon-5pm Wed-Sun through May 7 // Artpace // 445 N. Main Ave.// (210) 212-4900 //artpace.org

CURRENT • March 15-21, 2017 • sacurrent.com

ARTS + CULTURE

Nicholas Frank ▶ Occupying the adjoining studio, Robert Hodge is an interdisciplinary artist whose projects — such as the album Two and 1⁄2 years: A Musical Celebration to the Spirit of Juneteenth — often deal with themes of “memory and commemoration.” Evidenced by a record player in the corner flanked by David Bowie, Michael Jackson and 2Pac albums, music plays a significant role in Hodge’s creative process as well as his Artpace residency. While visitors quizzed him about the materials visible in his studio — namely advertising posters torn apart and reassembled in compositions attached to canvases — it quickly became clear that the biggest puzzle pieces hasn’t arrived yet. Researching San Antonio history in preparation for the residency, Hodge came across stories of the recordings blues legend Robert Johnson made at the Gunter Hotel circa 1936. “So I went to the same hotel and made a record in the same room,” he explained. “It’s more of a hip-hop, soul kind of record but it’s all from that Delta blues that Robert Johnson made here 80 years ago.” Although it apparently didn’t influence

Kate Newby

◀ “There’s a lot going on in my mind,” Nicholas Frank admitted while clinking together links in a short stretch of transparent glass chain he created in collaboration with San Antonio glass master Jake Zollie Harper. Once completed, Frank’s unusually breakable chain will suggest boundaries within his exhibition space while challenging preconceived notions of a device associated with both restraint and teamwork. Quirky and bespectacled, the Milwaukee-based artist/ writer/curator touched on connotations and dichotomies presented by his work in progress. “Chains can be something that

the album — which features musicians from Houston, New Orleans and San Antonio and will be available for purchase from Artpace in vinyl format — a certain myth surrounding Johnson found its way into Hodge’s research. “Supposedly Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil for guitar skills,” he said. “So these [ideas] evolved like … Can you sell your soul? What does that feel like? I’ve been reading books, getting deeper into it … the wormhole goes deep. If you get on YouTube and watch some shit, you’ll be up for hours. I don’t know what to believe anymore.” Less cryptic but amusing nonetheless is the story behind the many posters rolled up on tables and fragmented across the floor. “I used to actually go around [Houston] and pull ‘em,” he admitted. Then he met the guy whose job it was to paste them up in the first place. “We were bumping heads because I was essentially tearing down his work,” Hodge said. “I was looking for him and he was looking for me.” Since meeting and making peace, the two have come to an arrangement that involves Hodge getting his art supplies directly from the source. ◀ In Kate Newby’s studio space upstairs, reference images of flora and fauna are attached to the wall and tables are filled with objects and supplies that conjure an odd cross between a science experiment and an archeological dig. On the floor, a blue wooden surface functions as a backdrop for an array of organiclooking ceramic pieces. Some look like glossy river rocks and ladybugs, others resemble fish fins or fossils — and all seem to be prototypes for elements and techniques that might factor into Newby’s exhibition. “When you work with clay, you always work in a specific scale, and you might want to expand that to be more environmental,” she said. “So this is a test to see if I could possibly do it on a larger

link us together, or can be an instrument of bondage — containment, something that keeps us down,” he said. “I like that duality … I like that idea of the weakest link … if we’re all strong — that’s the key.” Scattered across the floor of his studio, neon-colored flyers shout out peculiar messages like “Am Big Unity” and “Free Time.” After describing them as “ambiguous propaganda posters,” Frank mentioned a social theorist who believes time “enslaves us” and perhaps keeps us from truly living in the moment. “I like that idea,” he said. “So I made a protest poster to ‘Free Time.’”

Robert Hodge scale … I’ve done a lot of stuff with clay … I’ve been looking at digging it and pit-firing it and barrel-firing it. But it’s not going to be ‘my work,’ it’s going to be the fact that I wanted experiences over making final works.” Fitting for a curious collection of objects one might collect on a surreal hike, Newby ponders presenting her new works outside the confines of the gallery. “I have this idea that what I want to do — and this is why barrel-firing is really interesting — is literally taking the atmosphere and putting it into the work,” she said. “And I like this idea that the more I absorb, the more that might come through on the work … I really want to use the rooftop for my exhibition … It could possibly respond to rainstorms and wind and sun and weather.” sacurrent.com • March 15-21, 2017 • CURRENT 41

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AY PAPI’S “CAMUNITY” OPEN STUDIOS AFTER PARTY

Zollie Glass Studios • 1428 S Presa St Join us for live glass blowing. Fun Family gathering. Bring your lawn chairs. Free and open to the public.

CAMMIE AWARDS 2017

Linda Pace Foundation CHRISpark 111 Camp St We are excited to announce the following cultural organizations as judges for the 2017 CAMMIE Awards; San Antonio Museum of Art, McNay Art Museum, Southwest School of Art, Blue Star Contemporary, Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center, Carver Community Cultural Center, Artpace, and the Peoples Choice.

CAMMIE AWARDS AFTER PARTY Dorćol • 1902 S Flores St. Join the fun for music, beer, cocktails following the CAMMIE Awards.

CURRENT • March 15-21, 2017 • sacurrent.com

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APE-OCALYPSE NOW

Kong: Skull Island is essentially a Vietnam War movie with monsters MARYANN JOHANSON

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What’s the big surprise of Kong: Skull Island? No, it’s not a secret sequel to Peter Jackson’s 2005 film King Kong; the two movies are not connected in any way. And no, in fact, this Kong is not a sequel to 2014’s Godzilla, either, though the two are both part of a shared universe that’s being called the MonsterVerse. No, the big surprise — not a spoiler! — is that Kong: Skull Island is actually a prequel to Godzilla. After a brief introductory sequence set in 1944, the action jumps to 1973 and stays there. Which lends a delicious retro analog vibe to the goings-on. A good reason to set this tale in 1973: It allows for mysterious Skull Island, hidden by a perpetual storm, to have been recently discovered in the South Pacific by the first Earth-mapping satellites. Scientist Bill Randa (John Goodman) finally gets permission to take his team on a mission to the island; he has a pretty good idea what’s there via his topsecret government project, Monarch (referenced in Godzilla), which is

documenting the existence of “massive unidentified terrestrial organisms.” (It’s like an X-Files for monsters.) So off they go accompanied by “tracker” James Conrad (Tom Hiddleston), photojournalist Mason Weaver (Brie Larson) and an escort of U.S. military who are about to be demobilized from Vietnam. Once on the island, they meet Hank Marlow (John C. Reilly), who was shot down over the island in 1944 (that’s the opening sequence) and has been stuck there since. Boiled down to its bonkers essence, Skull Island is a Vietnam War movie with monsters. ( Kong is far from the only one.) It’s Ape-ocalypse Now, with a waraddicted, possibly insane Lieutenant Colonel Preston Packard (Samuel L. Jackson), who is quite upset about the whole not winning in Vietnam thing, going full Ahab and fixating on Kong as a “war” he can win. (He might be underestimating the capabilities of his squad.) So while Skull Island has ironic fun with a running motif about how war can make a man see enemies

everywhere — including in a giant ape that was just minding his own business until you started dropping bombs on him — there’s also a man-versus-nature thing running alongside it: Mess with nature, and nature will mess right back, ferociously. It’s like Jurassic Park, with a lot less wonder and a helluva lot more horror. Oh, the gruesome, intense ickiness here! This movie is really pushing the boundaries of a PG-13 rating ... or maybe it only feels that way when you’re watching in 3D IMAX and it feels like the jungle bug slime and the gore and the monster vomit is all over you. This is a rare instance of 3D being put to actual use onscreen rather than just serving as an excuse to hike ticket prices: There is real depth in the jungle, real dizziness to be found looking down from a high cliff. Jordan Vogt-Roberts, whose only previous feature film is the unpleasantly snide ultralow-budget coming-of-age dramedy The Kings of Summer, has acquitted himself well with his first massive FX movie.

All the horror and the black comedy and the monster battles and the homages to a slew of other films — it all works, even crammed in like this, thanks in large part to the fine line the terrific cast walks between treating it with just enough taking-it-seriously under the lashings of nonsense. Reilly steals the show as his lost-in-time pilot, but Hiddleston is a close second, plausibly rougher and tougher than we’ve seen him before in his first true action role. Larson’s role could be meatier, but she is not a damsel in distress, and she is not there for Kong to inexplicably fall in love with. (In fact, the most offensive Kong tropes have been excised, though they are alluded to.) One or two groans are a necessary response to an obvious choice or two on the soundtrack of mostly awesome ’70s rock tunes, but that’s not much to complain about when so much could have gone badly wrong here. I would have said, after Peter Jackson’s Kong, that he didn’t need another reboot. But I’m glad we got this one.

✰✰✰✰✰

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CHARLIE SMITH

TOUR DE TOSTON

Finding crisp, chewy, fried plantain goodness across SA

•

Left to right: La Marginal, Luna Rosa

CHARLIE SMITH

≥

Tostones. They’re a quintessential part of Puerto Rican cuisine. The smashed, then fried, crispy, chewy plantains are usually served simply, lightly dusted with salt complementing the slight sweetness of the plantain. Usually, the dish is accompanied by dipping sauces, either a butter garlic variety or a mayonnaise-ketchup blend most commonly known as ... you guessed it... mayoketchup. All of this was, if you’ll pardon the unintentional pun, foreign to me. I must admit that most Puerto Rican fare, for whatever reason, has heretofore previously flown under my radar (and unfortunately nowhere near my tastebuds). So when my editor asked me to review five dishes of tostones, my excitement was tempered by one thought: “What the hell are tostones?” And so began my wild-goosechase across this great city, eager to discover new culinary delights and ultimately to learn the following answer to my initial question, something that, indeed, I should have known all along: Tostones are freaking good. Below is a recap of my discoveries. Know some we missed? Let us know! La Marginal // Our first location was a late-night stop at one of the more seasoned San Antonio Puerto Rican restaurants, La Marginal. Opened in 1999, it turned out to be the perfect introduction to the cultural cuisine in general and tostones, specifically. The tostones were, frankly, fantastic. Gently battered and crisp on the outside, soft and tasty on the inside. A hint of sweetness from the plantain balanced the lightly salted exterior. La Marginal offers two options for tostones: a traditional order served with a creamy mojito butter cream

sauce and their signature, house-made mayoqueso garlic cream, and a more upscale option that featured a topper of shrimp, olives and other accoutrements. The restaurant offers a high-end experience, cocktails and live music in the evenings and a generous lunch buffet. Highly recommend. 2447 Nacogdoches Road, (844) 663-6646.

sliced pork accompanied by a delicious mayoketchup topping. Modern and fun, Luna Rosa is definitely worth checking out. 2603 SE Military Drive, Suite 106, (210) 314-3111.

Ay Papis // Ay Papi’s is a food truck offering Puerto Rican grub since 2015. They serve a variety of cultural fare that delights the senses making a name for Azuca Nuevo Latino // We are fans of Azuca. Many a night themselves with their empanadas and a delicious Cuban we have partaken of their drink and food menu, always to sandwich. Ay Papi’s tostones, fried in olive oil and lightly great delight. The atmosphere and environment, being located salted with a healthy sprinkling of minced garlic and most in Southtown, can’t be beat. And so we were super excited notably accompanied by their Ay Papi’s mayoketchup, are to include them on our tostones tour list and give them a try. pleasantly spicier than others experienced. Right now, What we received was … decent. Tostones were fresh, crisp you can find this mobile kitchen most consistently at The and filling, served with drawn butter with a hint of garlic, lemon Rose Bush, San Antonio’s newest food truck park on San and wine. Presentation was basic. We weren’t wowed, but it Pedro, on Fridays, but search out their Facebook and fulfilled our growing desire for a daily fix of tostones. And hey, Instagram accounts for day-of location announcements. it’s Azuca, so you probably aren’t going there exclusively for Very mobile, (210) 907-2241. the tostones, right? 709 S. Alamo St., (210) 225-5550. Gusto Criollo // Gusto Criollo, a local, family-owned, Luna Rosa // Tucked away in a little shopping center on the no-frills Puerto Rican diner on the northwest side offers a south side of San Antonio is a hidden gem of an authentic standard fare of menu staples including sandwiches and Puerto Rican restaurant. Luna Rosa, now in its second year of mariscos. Their tostones — an order includes eight and is business, offers an extensive food and adult beverage menu; served with mayoketchup in a paper tray — are lightly salted we’ll be back for both, and especially the latter. The tostones and decently-sized. Lacking the punch experienced at options here are on-point. In addition to a standard order of the other establishments, the tostones should not be your tostones served with their house-made mayoketchup sauce, main reason for coming here. Beyond the food and the they also offer a version of their montaditos, tostones-style: a atmosphere, the service wasn’t too great, either. But maybe trio of tostones, one topped with shredded pork and avocado, it was just an off day. I’ll be back to give them another try. a second with shrimp with butter-garlic sauce, and a third with 8333 Culebra Road, (210) 362-1859.

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P EARL

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Scratch Kitchen opens

> Dessert lovers rejoice! There’s a new bakery in town with sweet treats you may not want to miss. Scratch Kitchen opened its doors today March 8 at 7 a.m. with cakes, cupcakes, cookies, brownies, cheesecake, mousse and more, and will also serve breakfast and lunch. A glance at their menu will make your mouth water. True to its name, everything is homemade at Scratch Kitchen. Baked goods are made fresh that day — no dayold cupcakes here! Their meals are fresh and affordable; sandwiches and soups are around $10 or less, and baked goods start at 75 cents. Best of all, every meal comes with a mini cupcake or cookie. Coffee drinkers should note that Scratch Kitchen will serve White Elephant coffee. While Scratch Kitchen is new to San Antonio, its roots are in the Rio Grande Valley. Owner Becky Medellin started baking cakes and cupcakes out of her home in Edinburg, all while working a full-time job. Realizing that baking is her passion, she opened Scratch Kitchen in the Valley. After three years in the Valley, Medellin and her husband moved the bakery to San Antonio. They purchased a historic house in Alta Vista and have been fixing it up for the past year.

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All of their hard work paid off. Starting Wednesday, Scratch Kitchen will be open Monday-Saturday from 7 a.m. to 2 p.m.. There is enough room for around 20 guests indoors, plus some outdoor seating for those sunny San Antonio days. Eventually, Scratch Kitchen will open their dining room for events, and they’ll offer catering as well. Expect a grand opening to be announced in the next month or so, but in the meantime, enjoy all the cupcakes you can! Soft opening hours will be 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. Open Monday-Saturday. 607 W. Russell Pl., (210) 630-2220. —AB

New Urban Bricks Pizza

> On Saturday, March 25, Urban Bricks Pizza will host a day-long grand opening of their newest location in Live Oak. After a ribbon-cutting ceremony at 11:30 a.m., patrons can enjoy free pizza from noon to 2 p.m. Stick around for games, live music, a fundraiser for San Antonio Pet’s Alive, and the chance to meet players from San Antonio Athenians Soccer Club. This is the company’s first location in Live Oak, with plans to open several more locations in the San Antonio area by the end of the year. 8000 Pat Booker Road, Suite 100, Live Oak. — SM

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FOOD

King’s Bowl, Refilled Fire, theft can’t keep long-time eatery down

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Sue and Andy Tam in 1982; Shirley, Chen and Sue during King's reopening this March Courtesy of King's Bowl

BY JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

ires may have left several San Antonio restaurants out of commission last fall, but for one north side eatery, it was just another obstacle to overcome. King’s Bowl’s origin story goes as far back as 1975 with the arrival of Chung Tim Tam (or Andy as he was more widely known) and later 1981 when his soon-to-be-wife Siu Ping Yuen (or Sue) arrived in the U.S. The pair married in 1982 and opened Rice Bowl on Fredericksburg and Medical Drive as San Antonio’s first Chinese eatery with a drivethru. After 10 years, in 1992, Rice Bowl’s lease ran out and Andy and Sue would go on to purchase a building at 5727 Babcock Road to open King’s Bowl Chinese Restaurant the next year. Three years later, Andy lost his battle with cancer. “It was hard, but all our uncles and family came down to San Antonio to help us with the restaurant,” said eldest daughter Amy Tam, who was in her early teens at the time. Sue teamed up with niece Tung Fei Lee (Shirley) and her husband Bai Hua Chen (Chen) who moved from New York to help keep King’s Bowl open. The shop, which is known for house-made sauces, delicate batters and seriously addicting fried dumplings has seen diners' tastes evolve (Sue mentions guests are into spicy food these days) and have changed the menu accordingly — they began serving bubble tea a few years back to accommodate those

changing palates. King’s Bowl chugged along until late last fall when a small electrical fire over the eatery’s drive-thru window forced them to close. Though only a small portion of the roof needed repairs, smoke damage to the interior of the eatery meant having to close the restaurant for four months, prompting lifelong fans to check in on all three Tam sisters via Facebook. “It’s all new ceiling tile. Everything was treated for smoke damage, sent out, cleaned and brought in,” Tam said while pointing to new plates and glasses that had to be purchased for the reopening. An additional hiccup kept the doors closed an extra month after the shops copper wiring was swindled on January 31. “The theft was a bit of a headache,” Tam laughed. The doors at King’s Bowl reopened officially on March 5 with traditional lion dancing and more of those dumplings, and it was back to work for Sue, who still pulls 12-hour days catering to her regular customers. For Tam, reopening the eatery was never a question. “My dad was always at the restaurant. As you get older you really do appreciate it. It’s the American dream. They came here with nothing on their back and they made it,” Tam said. “It’s something they built together and she wants to see the restaurant continue. 5727 Babcock Road, (210) 690-8819, kingsbowlchinesefood.com. sacurrent.com • March 15-21, 2017 • CURRENT 49

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NIGHTLIFE

COURTESY OF CULINARIA’S 5K WINE & BEER RUN

BOOZE NEWS Where to drink this month

•

Culinaria’s 5k wine & beer run

JESSICA ELIZARRARAS | @JESSELIZARRARAS

Run for Your Snacks // The Culinaria Wine & Beer Run returns Saturday with a hilly 5K course and plenty of snacks from some of our favorite eateries. Burn some calories and then refuel with bites from La Frite, Kona Grill, Whiskey Cake and more, along with wine and beer (duh) from across the U.S. Proceeds will benefit The Farm, Culinaria’s educational facility. Runners-turnedfoodies or foodies-turned-runners can also check out samples from vendors during the packet pickup and runner expo on Thursday from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. If running sounds like a pain, spectator tickets are also available and include access for the post-race reception. $45 runners, $20 spectators, 7am, The Shops at La Cantera, 15900 La Cantera Pkwy., culinariasa.org.

cocktail competition and hors d’oeuvres by Bourbon Dady, who will compete in Food Network’s Iron Chef Street Seafood Kitchen on March 23. Competitors Gauntlet this April. $60, 7-10pm, 200 W. Jones Ave., include bartenders from Botika, TBA, Tacoland localculturetickets.com. Riverwalk, Alchemy Kombucha and Culture, The Brooklynite, El Mirador, Haunt, Frank San Antonio, Zocca Cuisine d’Italia, Bourbon Stret Seafood Kitchen, Grayze, Madge’s Food Company, Paramour, The Esquire Tavern, Hotel Havana, Toro Kitchen + Bar, and Bar du Mon Ami. $75 general admission, $125 VIP, 6-8:30pm, Wyndham Garden Riverwalk, 103 9th St., sariverfoundation.org.

Tasting San Antonio // March means the return of San Antonio Flavor to the San Antonio Museum of Art as the Current hosts bites and sips from across the city on March 23. Here’s this year’s list of participants Taste bites from the Cocktails and Culture // The new Witte isn’t following local restaurants: Alchemy Kombucha and reserved for San Antonio’s youth. The multi-million Culture, Beto’s Alt-Mex, Bite San Antonio, Botika dollar expansion, which includes the Naylor Family Restaurant, Braza Brava Pizza Napoletana, Cover-3 Dinosaur Gallery and Kittie West Nelson Ferguson San Antonio, Dignowity Meats, Bexar Pub, Frank, People of the Pecos exhibit or the George StraitGrayze, Grimaldi’s, Jazz, TX, Kimura, Ming’s Thing, narrated South of South Texas can be enjoyed while Nectar Wine Bar & Ale House, Paramour, Pharm sampling a few cocktails and bites from local vendors Table, Piranha Killer Sushi San Antonio, Salata during Cocktails and Culture on March 22. The Quarry Village II, Sangria on the Burg, Smoke “The museum’s monthly adult night out will feature cocktails Restaurant” Downtown, Sweet Chela’s, Thai Topaz, by Austin Cocktails and Dripping Springs vodka and The Barbecue Station, The Bin, The Hoppy Monk gin, Alamo Beer, along with food for purchase from San Antonio, Vida Mia Cuisine - Stone Oak, Whiskey The Box Street Social and Smoke Shack BBQ. $15 Cake San Antonio, and Southern Grit Flavor. Taste includes admission to the museum, 6:30 to 8:30pm, Mighty Swell Cocktails, Woodford Reserve, Cinco 3801 Broadway, (210) 357-1900, wittemuseum.org. Vodka, Seersucker Southern Style Gin, Hotel Tango Artisan Distillery, Tequila Herradura and Bodega Boozy River // The San Antonio River Catena Zapata wine. The Sprouts Farmers Market Foundation’s Rivertini is back for its 9th turn with a Culinary Showdown will be emceed by chef Jason

No longer the state's best kept secret when it comes to brewing, Shiner's still part of the Texan experience. The last 30 years have seen the brewery distribute outside the Lone Star State and dabble in specialty beers.

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CHRIS CONDE

MUSIC PICKS

Pink Martini sounds like the band that’s playing in the background at literally every party James Bond goes to when he’s looking for the girl or the villain...or both. Founded in 1994 by Thomas Lauderdale in Portland, Oregon, Pink Martini blends a mix of pop-jazz, lounge, and Latin music that feels, at times, both contemporary and vintage. The mini orchestra was originally started as response to the terrible music Lauderdale would hear at fundraising events when he was working in politics. 7:30pm, $32.50+, The Tobin Center For The Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Cir. WED

PINK MARTINI

JOSUÉ RIVAS FOTOGRAPHER

Formed in the dusty streets of Los Angeles in 2008., Chicano Batman blend elements of soul, psychedelic rock and Brazilian Tropicalia for a weird but grooving old-school sound that’s both familiar and new. Drawing some more attention after opening for Jack White on a few tour dates and playing Coachella, this LA four-piece is definitely a must-see for fans of weird, soulful dance music. With Sad Girl, 7pm, $12, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. WED

ROCKET FROM THE CRYPT At times they’re straightforward Minor Threat-inspired hardcore punk, other times they sound like the weirdo acid-punk of Austin circa 1990. Whatever comparisons they draw, though, there really aren’t many bands that sound like Rocket From The Crypt. Even after adding a trumpet player and saxophonist, this San Diego superband somehow manage to eschew anything resembling ska. 8pm, $25, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. THU

WAL DON

CHICANO BATMAN COU RTE SY OF KEL SEY

CHRIS HORNBECKER

MUSIC

K E L SE Y WALDON

If you haven’t exactly caught the country music bug, Kelsey Waldon is kind of the perfect introduction to the genre, considering the singersongwriter’s sound is relatively contemporary but still manages to incorporate elements of Americana and folk. Writing and playing music like she’s been alive for 100 years and experienced the bedrock of every human emotion, Waldon’s songwriting is as powerful as it is raw and authentic. With DT Buffkin, $5, 9pm, The Squeezebox, 2806 N. St. Mary’s St. FRI

sacurrent.com • March 15-21, 2017 • CURRENT 53

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DREW STAWIN PHOTOGRAPHY

Within the first fifteen seconds of "Cardiac Arrest" by Bad Suns, we guarantee you’ll be dancing at your office desk or car or wherever. You know how sometimes you hear a new band and think, “Ugh, these guys sound like this other band that’s out right now”? Well, Bad Suns isn’t that band. Straight up indie pop with 80s overtones and bass grooves that’ll make you wanna slap somebody, this Los Angeles quartet is taking real pop music to heights it hasn’t seen in a minute. With From Indian Lakes, 8pm, $18, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. SAT

BAD SUNS

In a time slightly after after the rise and fall of DC hardcore punk, sometime before the days of sideswiped hair and scene kids, Darkest Hour emerged onto the extreme metal community. Formed in 1995, this Washington D.C. five piece were one of the first bands to fuse hardcore punk and thrash metal before there even was a name for a genre that would eventually be called “metalcore”. With Ringworm, Tombs, Rivers Of Nihil, 7pm, $18-$20, The Korova, 107 E. Martin St.

COURTEYS OF DARKEST HOUR

SAT

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Five years in the making, Burger Records Hangover Fest has and will continue to be a greasy good time for those in search of the best punk and garage bands bursting onto the scene. Set to headline this year’s fest is none other than the former CBGB’s staple Television, a 70s-era rock band whose music would inspire and shape the landscape of punk rock. $40, 1pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St.

PHARMAKON Born and raised in New York City, Pharmakon, born Margaret Chardiet, has been instrumental in shaping the underground experimental noise scene that exists today. Chardiet creates avant garde electronic compositions that are both violent and ethereal, with noises like distorted screams and looping soundscapes. Come experience an artist who’s been carving out her place in the experimental noise and powerelectronics scene for much of the past decade. With Institute, Sex Ray Vision, 7pm, $10, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. SAT

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MUSIC CALENDAR WEDNESDAY, MARCH 15 5th Annual Two Ton Tuesday Spring Break Show Two Tons Of Steel front man Kevin Geil and his band blend country and punk at this Spring Break show. $5. Gruene Hall, 8:30pm Chicano Batman LA’s Chicano Batman blend Brazilian Tropicalía with early ’70s psychedelic soul. They are joined by Sadgirl. $12. Paper Tiger, 7pm Imagine Fest II Imagine Books & Records hosts seven nights of live music, five bands each night, including Bright Like the Sun, Lonely Horse, Volcán, Fishermen, The Bolos, Verisimilitude and others. $7. Imagine Books and Records, 8pm Kathy & the Kilowatts Blues act Kathy & the Kilowatts are joined by the Westside Horns. $10-$30. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8:30pm Lil Wyte Rhyme Sick presents Lil Wyte with Static G and Omega Sin for The Red Wyte & Booze Tour $15. Fitzgerald’s Bar & Live Music, 7pm Living Hour Living Hour, from Canada, makes their San Antonio debut at Limelight with local bands: Processions, Phantom Chatter, & Ellis Redon! $5. Limelight, 9pm Pink Martini 12-piece Oregon-based ‘little orchestra’ with a genre-mixing, mulitlingual repertoire of classical, Latin, jazz and classic pop. $32.50-$56.50. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm Processions Processions performs with “dark pop” artist Ellis Redon and “dream pop” band Living Hour. $3-$5. Limelight, 9pm Rockwave VJ Woolly Bully spins Indie/New Wave vids, requests always welcome. Free. The Amp Room, 9pm THURSDAY, MARCH 16 Capt. Kirk Covington Quartet The Captain Kirk Covington Quartet plays jazz music at Luna. $5. Luna, 9:30pm David Lee & The Jose Armadillo Roadshow The Jose Armadillo Roadshow featuring singer songwriters -- Cole Deggs, Chris Wallin, and David Lee. $20$45. The Roundup Outdoor Music Venue, 7-10pm Folk Family Revival Alt country/rock

band Folk Family Revival are joined by experimental band The Buffalo Ruckus. $10-$40. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm Game of Thrones Live Music Experience Composer Ramin Djawadi will take fans of the Emmy award-winning TV show through the Seven Kingdoms in a new, immersive and visual experience. $39.50$99.50. AT&T Center, 8pm The Merles CD Release Party Country band The Merles release their CD, “Hate to Say Goodbye.” Free. Luckenbach Dance Hall, 7pm Rocket from the Crypt San Diego punk rock band plays Paper Tiger. $25. Paper Tiger, 8pm

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Ted Russell Kamp Americana act Ted Russell Kamp plays at Floore’s. Free. Gruene Hall, 6-10pm That 1 Guy, EZ-RA Experimental one-man band That 1 Guy is joined by EZ-RA. $8-$12. 502 Bar, 9pm Tokyo’s Otonana Trio Otonana Trio, partyfunk trio from Tokyo, tour the U.S. this winter in support of their album, Space Power Delight. $10. Imagine Books and Records, 8-11:45pm

March 24 - JB and The Moonshine Band

Ultraviolence Tour Featured acts include Lord Mack, Hash Gordon, S.A.N., Gecko Bros., S. Miller, DC, and many more. $5-$8. Ventura, 8:30pm FRIDAY, MARCH 17 The Black Lillies Tennessee’s blues/country band The Black Lillies are joined by Blackbird Sing. $10-$60. Sam’s Burger Joint, 9pm

March 25 - Bart Crow

The Dickies LA punk rock band The Dickies play at the Korova, joined by Texas punk bands 300 Foot Tall, From Parts Unknown, Coxcomb, The Dispicables, and Knockin’ Chucks. $15-$17. The Korova, 7:30pm Emo Night Brooklyn Party to emo and punk music at the Emo Night Brooklyn party at Paper Tiger. $10. Paper Tiger, 10pm

March 31 - Max Stalling

Live from Jazz, TX Show Series Jazz, TX, will host a radio show series with San Antonio’s NPR affiliate, Texas Public Radio (TPR). $20. Jazz, TX, 8:30pm Macho Peach Music by Macho Peach, Automatic Weekend, The Tex-Tones, and local indie rock band Local Silver. Free. The Amp Room, 9pm Masks The San Antonio Symphony and violin solist Eric Gratz present The Firebird Ballet. $15-$96. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 8pm

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MUSIC

Matt Hollywood and the Bad Feelings This the energy and passion of Hip Hop with SXSW spillover showcase features Matt the sounds of live orchestration by the Hollywood and the Bad Feelings, Death Illharmonic Orchestra. $32.50. Tobin Center Valley Girls, Annabelle Chairlegs, Death for the Performing Arts, 7pm Hymn Number 9, and Everyone is Dirty. $8. Mickey Avalon Hip-hop artist Mickey Avalon K23 Gallery, 8pm plays at Sam’s in support of his Teardrops Ruby Dee & the Snakehandlers Fouron my Tombstone tour. $15-$60. Sam’s piece Americana band Ruby Dee & the Burger Joint, 8pm Snakehandlers play at Floore’s. Free. John Noche Azul: Dos Gardenias Azul with T Floore’s Country Store, 9pm guest musicians Aaron Prado, George St. Patrick’s Day Fest w/ Motley Crue Prado, Nina Rodriguez & Eric Casillas. $7. Tribute Crued & Tattooed (Motley Esperanza Peace & Justice Center, 4pm Crue tribute band), Violent Revenge, MONDAY, MARCH 20 Headhunter USA (Krokus tribute), and Out of the Cellar (Ratt n Roll tribute) $10-$20. Bret Graham Country act Bret Graham plays Fitzgerald’s Bar & Live Music, 5pm at Gruene. Free. Gruene Hall, 6-10pm West Kings Highway West Kings Highway perform at their Friday Night Residency at Sancho’s Cantina. Free. Sancho’s Cantina, 7-9pm SATURDAY, MARCH 18 Bloodline, Deadly Omens, and Headhunter USA Tributes to Slayer, King Diamond, and Krokus. $7-$10. Bond’s 007 Rock Bar, 8pm Masks The San Antonio Symphony and violin solist Eric Gratz present The Firebird Ballet. $15-$96. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 8pm Noche Azul: Dos Gardenias Homage to internationally acclaimed Cuban songs. Guest musicians Aaron Prado, George Prado, Nina Rodriguez & Eric Casillas. $7. Esperanza Peace & Justice Center, 8pm

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Outlaw Society Bash 2 Rock and punk bands The Voltures, Northend Bombers, Dead Weight, and Drink Fight Thugs. $3. The Amp Room, 9pm The Return of Deer Vibes Local indie-pop act Deer Vibes returns to the Ventura stage. $5-$8. Ventura, 8pm South Texas Blues Fest Blues artists from throughout Texas, including The Eastside Kings, Andrea Dawson, Birdlegg, and Carl Weathersby. $28-$32. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 8pm

Bryan Ferry Singer/songwriter, famed for Roxy Music, plays the Tobin. $39.50-$100. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm Katchafire New Zealand reggae band Katchafire is joined by Inna Vision and Free Dem Sesh. $15-$20. Jack’s Bar, 7-11:45pm Meat and Metal Mondays Zombies Bar hosts a metal night while serving meat and drink specials. Free. Zombies, 5pm Sarah Shook & the Disarmers Punk-inspired country act Sarah Shook & the Disarmers play at Limelight. $5-$8. Limelight, 8pm Swing Nite with The Big Nasty Juke Joint Experience The Big Nasty Juke Joint Experience plays Swing Nite at Sam’s. $9-$10. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8:30pm TUESDAY, MARCH 21 Josh Grider Singer/songwriter Josh Grider is joined by Kristi Grider, Seth James and Jessica Walker. Free. Gruene Hall, 6-10pm Live from Jazz, TX Show Series Jazz, TX, will host a radio show series with San Antonio’s NPR affiliate, Texas Public Radio (TPR). $20. Jazz, TX, Feb. 22-March 22, 8:30pm

Sounds of the West: Music Salon Series: The Texas Woman, Her Heritage in Song WC Clark The “godfather of Austin blues.” From popular standards of the past to the $10. Luna, 9:30pm diverse melodic traditions of our region, this series highlights the musical arts of SUNDAY, MARCH 19 the American West in an intimate gallery Burger Records Hangover Fest V The Burger setting. Free. Briscoe Western Art Museum, Records Hangover Fest features 45 bands 6:30pm including Television, Temples, Deap Vally, St. Jude Jam Country artists Jon Pardi, Gary Night Beats, Jjuujjuu, Protex, and more. Allan, Aaron Watson, Casey Donahew, $43.47-$74.27. Paper Tiger, 1pm Maren Morris, Scotty McCreery, William Glass Mansions South Carolina’s electropop Michael Morgan, and Tucker Beathard. trio Glass Mansions are joined by $20-$25. Cowboys Dancehall, 6:30pm Celeste’al Descent, Voracious, and St. Tuesday Evening Picker Circle with Jake Dukes. Free. The Mix, 8pm McLain Unplugged picker circle with Jake Hip Hop Orchestra Thee Phantom combines McLain. Free. Luckenbach Dance Hall, 5pm

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WISHFUL KINKING

> I went to Dark Odyssey Winter Fire, the big kink hotel takeover event in Washington, DC, in February. There was one thing I saw there that is messing with my head, and I hope you can set me straight. There was this lovely little six-person orgy going on with two cute-as-could-be hippie girls and four older dudes. Then these four people came along. They sat and watched — a guy and three women in hijabs and dresses that went wrist to ankle, fully covered. After a while, one of the hippie girls turned to them and said, “I’d be happy to flog you later if you’d like.” The three women in hijab giggled. The whole scene was really sweet, but I just couldn’t get over these three women. I saw them walking around all night, taking it all in. Intellectually, I know there is no reason to think that conservative Islam is incompatible with kink. But my cultural biases make me feel that it is. Or is it possible that covering is their kink? What would you make of that? Washington Kinkster Wondering “With all the hateful anti-Muslim rhetoric out there these days, it is tempting to romanticize Islam,” said Eiynah, a Pakistani-Canadian children’s book author who also hosts a podcast that focuses on sex, Islam, and apostasy. “The impulse is understandable, but Islam is another one of the blatantly sexnegative Abrahamic faiths.” The other blatantly sex-negative Abrahamic faiths, for those of you

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keeping score out there, are Judaism and Christianity. “Nothing outside of ultra-vanilla plain ol’ two-person hetero sex within the confines of marriage is permissible,” said Eiynah. So as much as I’d love to agree with WKW that conservative Islam isn’t incompatible with kink, there’s every reason to say that it is. It’s even incompatible with a woman being slightly ‘immodest’ in front of men. Modesty codes are pretty rigid in Islam, and in non-Muslim-majority countries, modesty garments tend to stick out rather than blend in. Which achieves the exact opposite purpose — attracting more attention, not less.” And when sex-negativity, modesty, and religion mix it up, WKW, the part of our brain that grinds out kinks — precise location yet to be determined — kicks into high gear. That’s why there is Mormonundergarment porn out there and nun porn and hot-priest calendars for sale on sidewalks just outside Vatican City. “Islamic modesty has become fetishized for some — quite literally,” said Eiynah. “There’s hijabi porn and hijabi Lolitas. So the people WKW saw could be into some form of hijab kink.” I’ve seen a few people dressed up as Catholic nuns at fetish parties, WKW, and I didn’t think, “Hey, what are nuns doing here?!?” I thought, “That person has a nun kink.” (Related point: The nuns you see at queer pride parades? Not really nuns. #TheMoreYouKnow) “Finally, it’s possible they could be a more ‘open-minded’ polygynous Muslim family that ventured into the hotel in a moment of adventurousness,” said Eiynah. “We are all human, after all, with urges, kinks, curiosities, and desires that surface, no matter what ancient morality code we try to follow.” Amen. Eiynah tweets @NiceMangos, her terrific podcast — Polite Conversations — is available on all the usual podcast platforms, and her children’s book, My Chacha Is Gay, can be ordered at chachaisgay.com.

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CURRENT • March 15-21, 2017 • sacurrent.com

Answer on page 39

1 His treehouse inspired the “Treehouse of Horror” 5 Manufactured 9 First full month of spring 14 “On the Waterfront” director Kazan 15 Musk of Tesla Motors 16 Livelihood 17 Indy gets in his ___ and drives, only to miss a stray blowgun missile ... 19 Arcade coin 20 Pilfer 21 Kremlin denial 23 “You’re not fully clean ...” soap 24 Maya of Vietnam Memorial fame 26 Hindu prince’s title 28 BLT spread 31 Indy turns on his car radio to hear “Wild Wild West” band ___, narrowly avoiding being bludgeoned by a nearby motorist ... 37 ___ Bator (Mongolia’s capital) 38 ___ Wall (“American Ninja Warrior” fi xture) 39 Before, to Byron 40 Island nation southeast of Fiji 42 “The Doors” star Kilmer 43 Mirror reflection 45 A billion years 46 Jane who played Daphne on “Frasier” 49 Rehab candidate 50 Indy orders ___ at the

restaurant, only to avoid servers fl inging meat ... (and why’d it have to be THIS meat?) 52 Health clinic leaflet subjects, for short 53 10th grader, for short 54 Up to this point 56 “Jeopardy!” creator Griffin 59 “The Untouchables” agent Eliot 62 Like hairpin turns 66 Adjust to fi t 68 Finally, Indy’s ready to come home, turn on some cartoons, and watch ___, only to avoid his neighbor who won’t stop with the stories ... 70 When hell freezes over 71 Jai ___ (fast-paced game) 72 They’re the top brass 73 Derisive 74 Dome-shaped tent 75 Career honor not accomplished by Lin-Manuel Miranda at this year’s Oscars

DOWN

1 Hotel needs 2 In a big way 3 Take the bus 4 Girl Scout Cookie with peanut butter and chocolate 5 Rx order 6 Late “Hannity & Colmes” co-host Colmes 7 Nemo’s successor? 8 Respond in court 9 Part of D.A. 10 Drug in an Elizabeth

Wurtzel title 11 Pick up debris, perhaps 12 “Julius Caesar” date 13 Time to give up? 18 Peyton’s brother 22 Finish line, metaphorically 25 Unopened in the box 27 Skywalker, e.g. 28 Shuts the sound off 29 Give it ___ 30 “Live at the Acropolis” keyboardist 32 Fix a bad situation, superhero-style 33 Lust after 34 Superlatively minimal 35 Advised strongly 36 Oktoberfest quaffs 41 Like Charlie Parker’s sax 44 Necessity 47 Sports channel owned by Disney 48 Observatory’s focus 51 Answered an invitation 55 Suffi x denoting extremeness 56 “The Wrong ___” (James Corden BBC series) 57 Barbara of “I Dream of Jeannie” 58 Norah Jones’s father 60 “Star Trek” crewman 61 “The Lion King” villain 63 Character retired by Sacha Baron Cohen 64 Forfeited wheels 65 “Hey, over here” 67 “Boyz N the Hood” character 69 Model airplane purchase

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): The more unselfish and compassionate you are in the coming weeks, the more likely it is you will get exactly what you need. Here are four ways that can be true: 1. If you’re kind to people, they will want to be kind to you in return. 2. Taking good care of others will bolster their ability to take good care of you. 3. If you’re less obsessed with I-me-mine, you will magically dissolve psychic blocks that have prevented certain folks from giving you all they are inclined to give you. 4. Attending to others’ healing will teach you valuable lessons in how to heal yourself — and how to get the healing you yearn for from others. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): I hope

you will consider buying yourself some early birthday presents. The celebration is weeks away, but you need some prodding, instigative energy now. It’s crucial that you bring a dose of the starting-fresh spirit into the ripening projects you’re working on. Your mood might get overly cautious and serious unless you infuse it with the spunk of an excited beginner. Of course only you know what gifts would provide you with the best impetus, but here are suggestions to stimulate your imagination: a young cactus; a jack-in-the-box; a rock with the word “sprout” written on it; a decorated marble egg; a fox mask; a Photoshopped image of you flying through the air like a superhero.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20):

Many Geminis verbalize profusely and acrobatically. They enjoy turning their thoughts into speech, and love to keep social situations lively with the power of their agile tongues. Aquarians and Sagittarians may rival your tribe for the title of The Zodiac’s Best Bullshitters, but I think you’re in the top spot. Having heaped that praise on you, however, I must note that your words don’t always have as much influence as they have entertainment value. You sometimes impress people more than you impact them. But here’s the good news: In the coming weeks, that could change. I suspect your fluency will carry a lot of clout. Your communication skills could sway the course of local history.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): Your

world is more spacious than it has been in a long time. Congrats! I love the way you have been pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and into the wilder frontier. For your next trick, here’s my suggestion: Anticipate the parts of you that may be inclined to close down again when you don’t feel as brave and free as you do now. Then gently clamp open those very parts. If you calm your fears before they break out, maybe they won’t break out at all.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): I like rowdy,

extravagant longing as much as anyone.

I enjoy being possessed by a heedless greed for too much of everything that feels rapturous: delectable food, mysterious sex, engrossing information, liberating intoxication, and surprising conversations that keep me guessing and improvising for hours. But I am also a devotee of simple, sweet longing ... pure, watchful, patient longing ... open-hearted longing that brims with innocence and curiosity and is driven as much by the urge to bless as to be blessed. That’s the kind I recommend you explore and experiment with in the coming days.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): You know that forbidden fruit you’ve had your eyes on? Maybe it isn’t so forbidden any more. It could even be evolving toward a state where it will be both freely available and downright healthy for you to pluck. But there’s also a possibility that it’s simply a little less risky than it was before. And it may never become a fully viable option. So here’s my advice: Don’t grab and bite into that forbidden fruit yet. Keep monitoring the situation. Be especially attentive to the following questions: Do you crave the forbidden fruit because it would help you flee a dilemma you haven’t mustered the courage to escape from? Or because it would truly be good for you to partake of the forbidden fruit?

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): I expect you will get more than your usual share of both sweetness and tartness in the coming days. Sometimes one or the other will be the predominant mode, but on occasion they will converge to deliver a complex brew of WOW!meets-WTF! Imagine chunks of sour apples in your vanilla fudge ripple ice cream. Given this state of affairs, there’s no good reason for you to be blandly kind or boringly polite. Use a saucy attitude to convey your thoughtfulness. Be as provocative as you are tender. Don’t just be nice — be impishly and subversively nice.

astrologers might say you are in a phase of downsizing and self-restraint. They’d encourage you to be extra strict and serious and dutiful. To them, the ringed planet is an exacting task-master. There are some grains of truth in this perspective, but I like to emphasize a different tack. I say that if you cooperate with the rigors of Saturn, you’ll be inspired to become more focused and decisive and disciplined as you shed any flighty or reckless tendencies you might have. Yes, Saturn can be adversarial if you ignore its commands to be faithful to your best dreams. But if you respond gamely, it will be your staunch ally.

In the beginning, all may be calm and bright, but eventually cracks will appear. Here’s the corollary to that rule: EVERY partner is imperfect. Regardless of how cool, kind, attractive, or smart they may seem in the early stages, they will eventually unveil their unique flaws and troubles. Does this mean that all togetherness is doomed? That it’s forever impossible to create satisfying unions? The answer is HELL, NO! — especially if you keep the following principles in mind: Choose a partner whose problems are: 1. interesting; 2. tolerable; 3. useful in prodding you to grow; 4. all of the above.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19):

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): Would

Born in the African nation of Burkina Faso, Malidoma Somé is a teacher who writes books and offers workshops to Westerners interested in the spiritual traditions of his tribe. In his native Dagaare language, his first name means “he who befriends the stranger/enemy.” I propose that we make you an honorary “Malidoma” for the next three weeks. It will be a favorable time to forge connections, broker truces, and initiate collaborations with influences you have previously considered foreign or alien.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18): EVERY relationship has problems. No exceptions.

you like some free healing that’s in alignment with cosmic rhythms? Try this experiment. Imagine that you’re planning to write your autobiography. Create an outline that has six chapters. Each of the first three chapters will be about a past experience that helped make you who you are. In each of the last three chapters, you will describe a desirable event that you want to create in the future. I also encourage you to come up with a boisterous title for your tale. Don’t settle for My Life So Far or The Story of My Journey. Make it idiosyncratic and colorful, perhaps even outlandish, like Piscean author Dave Eggers’ A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): “I want

to gather your darkness in my hands, to cup it like water and drink.” So says Jane Hirshfield in her poem “To Drink.” I bet she was addressing a Scorpio. Does any other sign of the zodiac possess a sweet darkness that’s as delicious and gratifying as yours? Yes, it’s true that you also harbor an unappetizing pocket of darkness, just like everyone else. But that sweet kind — the ambrosial, enigmatic, exhilarating stuff — is not only safe to imbibe, but can also be downright healing. In the coming days, I hope you’ll share it generously with worthy recipients.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21):

Saturn has been in your sign steadily since September 2015, and will continue to be there until December 2017. Some traditional sacurrent.com • March 15-21, 2017 • CURRENT 65

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