San Antonio Current - December 7, 2016

DECEMBER 7-13, 2016

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Telling Tales Contemporary Narrative Photography

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Telling Tales is organized by the McNay Art Museum. The Elizabeth Huth Coates Exhibition Endowment and the Arthur and Jane Stieren Fund for Exhibitions are lead sponsors. This project is supported in part by an award from the National Endowment for the Arts. The Director’s Circle is providing additional support.

Through January 15 Tina Barney Julie Blackmon Gregory Crewdson Philip-Lorca diCorcia Mitch Epstein Anna Gaskell Nan Goldin Paul Graham Jessica Todd Harper Teresa Hubbard / Alexander Birchler Justine Kurland Lori Nix Erwin Olaf Alex Prager Alec Soth Jeff Wall Visit mcnayart.org for more information.

Julie Blackmon, Time Out, 2005. Archival pigment print.Courtesy of the artist and Robert Mann Gallery, New York City. © Julie Blackmon

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Your Adventure Begins Here.

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VIVA culture connects you with museums, parks, theaters, art galleries and the zoo.

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FIRST WORDS

IN THIS

1

Alamo Master Plan Would Ban Protesting in Alamo Plaza: “And just like that, the Alamo becomes the number 1 protest spot in San Antonio.” – Chris Booker

Issue 16_49 /// December 7-13

10

Gov. Abbott is Now Threatening “Sanctuary Campuses,” Too: “’Governor Abbott is threatening campuses that are trying to break the law’ would be an appropriate title.”

– Warren Findley

“New Carpet” Strange talk from Joe Straus ahead of the 85th Texas Legislature

COVER Rock, country, Tex-Mex, fusion… Call them whatever you want. The Last Bandoleros will be roaring into 2017 with their special brand of infectious, hook-laden rock. In this week’s feature, we talk to the Navaira boys about how their father, the late Tejano legend Emilio Navaira, influenced their music, and how exactly they became besties with Sting.

Cover photo by Jaime Monzon Art direction by Sarah Flood-Baumann 8 CURRENT • December 7-13, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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FEATURE

Band of Brothers How the Last Bandoleros reinvented Tex-Mex — and blew Sting away

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CALENDAR

Our top picks for the week

16

Word Play What does being a climate change “skeptic” really mean?

25

29 ON THE

NEWS

Name Game Is San Antonio a “sanctuary city”? Well, yes and no.

Texas Abortion Providers Now Required to Bury and Cremate Any Fetal Remains: “Stop being careless with your sex life and you wouldn’t have to deal with this... i think it serves as a lesson on closing your legs and becoming mature about the decisions you make!!!!” – Juan Garcia San Antonio is Getting an IKEA: “Yeah, but how long will it take them to put the store together with their poor instructions.”

– Louie Preciado

35

ISSUE

• Send your thoughts, comments, kudos or tips to letters@sacurrent.com

ARTS + CULTURE

31

SCREENS

Public Works VIA taps local ceramics master Diana Kersey for new Five Points installation

Down, Man Shia LaBeouf takes on another intense, complex role in Man Down

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38

NIGHTLIFE

Brews News Here’s what you can expect from SA’s latest brewery

29

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FOOD

Tis the Season Where to find buñuelos, churros and arroz con leche this December Food Court Johnny on the spot, IKEA, and exploring the Lowcountry

MUSIC

Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

47

ETC.

Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology

sacurrent.com • November 23-29, 2016 • CURRENT 9

NEWS

NAME GAME

Is San Antonio a“sanctuary city”?

Well,

≥

yes and no.

FILE

On the eve of the next legislative session, taking on the supposed threat of “sanctuary cities” has again become a priority for conservative lawmakers in Texas.

And, as with every time they resurrect this zombie issue, it seems to have much to do with politics and little to do with actual public safety – if you believe police across Texas’ largest cities, that is.

In fact, law enforcement in major metros across the state, including San Antonio, have implemented what have in the past been called “sanctuary cities” policies.

Which begs the question: Is San Antonio really a sanctuary city?

Until recently, it’s been a question without any real yes-or-no answer, mostly because the term itself has been amorphous when invoked by many Texas conservatives.

While Gov. Greg Abbott recently told Fox news, “I have used my powers as governor of Texas to withhold funds to cities or counties that are declaring themselves to be sanctuary cities,” his office later clarified that it hasn’t actually blocked any state

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funds over the issue. That’s because nobody has yet run afoul of this new red-line distinction – that if you don’t honor U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement requests to keep people in custody, even when charges have been dismissed, then you’re a sanctuary city.

Pretty much every jail in Texas currently honors these so-called ICE detainers (although that could change in Travis County very soon). Yet, the issue resurfaced even earlier than usual this time around, likely a result of the antiimmigrant rhetoric blaring out of the Donald Trump campaign.

Last year, Abbott publicly sparred with Travis County Sheriff Lupe Valdez when she announced an agreement with the feds in which ICE wouldn’t ask the county to hold people accused of or

MICHAEL BARAJAS | @MICHAELSBARAJAS

jailed for minor offenses – which is actually in line with the feds’ stated immigration enforcement priorities.

Abbott thundered about how he’d block state funding to officials like Valdez who refuse to cooperate with federal immigration authorities.

That hasn’t happened; the arrangement in Dallas is apparently working just fine.

By this definition, San Antonio is decidedly not a sanctuary city. If you’re booked in jail here, cops will still run your fingerprints through a federal database that will alert ICE if you’ve got a dubious immigration status. Then it’s ICE’s call whether or not to pick you up. When ICE flags someone, some counties will hold them for a couple days – even if the person has made bail, their term of incarceration is over, or charges have been dismissed. Some county jails will hold you for weeks. Bexar County has been accused of holding people for months who wouldn’t be in jail if not for ICE’s request.

While incoming Bexar County Sheriff Javier Salazar’s stance on immigration sounds softer than his Republican predecessor, he has said he’ll still work with the feds on immigration detainers.

This summer, San Antonio attorney Lance Curtright sued Bexar County on behalf of 36-year-old Julio Trujillo, who was kept in jail 76 days after local officials dismissed the misdemeanor assault charge that got him flagged by immigration officials in the first place. The lawsuit argues the process for

ICE detainers in Bexar County is haphazard and unconstitutional.

In his lawsuit, Trujillo says he asked officials numerous times why he was still in jail after his charges were dropped, even when week after week passed by and he heard nothing from ICE. When his girlfriend finally reached someone at ICE, she learned the feds didn’t even have him on their list – even though when Trujillo was arrested months earlier, ICE had filed a request to keep him jailed if his case got resolved, citing a final order of removal as probable cause to consider Trujillo a “removable alien.” According to the lawsuit, ICE didn’t even get a final removal order until some six months later, on June 8, the day they picked Trujillo up from the Bexar County jail – just two days after he hired a lawyer to seek his release. (The dismissed misdemeanor assault charge appears to have been Trujillo’s only arrest here.)

“If ICE wants to detain someone, they should go get a warrant,” Curtright told the Current. “That’s basically what our lawsuit is about.”

Still, the kind of anti-sanctuary cities legislation filed in Texas goes beyond ICE detainers. To state lawmakers like Sen. Charles Perry, who has already filed a bill for the upcoming session that mirrors his last failed attempt to crack down on sanctuary cities, even a place like Houston fits the definition.

Which seems like a fundamental misunderstanding of how federal immigration enforcement even works, especially when you consider Harris County for many years had an arrangement with the feds that effectively deputized some sheriff’s officers to assist federal immigration

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NEWS

2. Officers are authorized to detain based on reasonable suspicion only if that the person is suspected of being involved in criminal activity or a witness to criminal activity 3. Officers are authorized to arrest persons based on probable cause that a crime has been committed. Immigration status alone is not probable cause for an arrest.

4. Officers having reasonable suspicion that a person or persons may be a victim or suspect in human trafficking will immediately notify a supervisor and the appropriate follow-up unit, and will handle matter in accordance.

In previous sessions, some chiefs and sheriffs have argued that the kind of sanctuary cities legislation proposed by Perry could make it harder for them to do their jobs – which is to get witnesses to talk (even undocumented ones), solve crimes, and keep the local community safe. Others worry it could open up the door to racial profiling. Perry’s bill would punish any agency that “discourages the enforcement of immigration laws.” Under the bill, agencies can’t “prohibit or discourage” any cop, corrections officer, or booking clerk from asking about the immigration status of someone “under a lawful detention” and then following up with immigration authorities. So under this legislation, if you’re a cop who thinks immigration enforcement should be a regular part of your job, departments would be hard pressed to tell you otherwise. You could file a complaint with the Texas Attorney General, which could then threaten to cut your department’s funding.

Meanwhile, a Trump presidency could very well redefine what we mean by the term “sanctuary city.” Officials from Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York, Denver, Philadelphia, and Chicago have all declared that they will not cooperate if Trump follows through on his promise to enact mass deportations; Trump has vowed to block federal funds to those police departments.

Officials here haven’t yet come out with such a public stance on the issue. But due to national or state politics, San Antonio could soon have to decide whether or not it really belongs in the sanctuary cities category.

STEVE JANSEN

MICHAEL BARAJAS

1. Officers will not ask any person for proof of citizenship or legal residency.

“ NEW CARPET”

CREATIVE COMMONSA

agents. Immigrant rights advocates say that’s why Houston, a so-called sanctuary city, at one time locked up more undocumented immigrants than any other jail in the state.

Perry’s legislation seems to conflict with the kind of policies supported by police chiefs across the state – the kind that explicitly tell local police that federal immigration enforcement is not their job. “While we don’t label ourselves a ‘sanctuary city,’ our officers do not ask for proof of citizenship for people we encounter,” San Antonio Police Department spokesman Sgt. Jesse Salame told us. He directed us to SAPD’s current policy: Officers will not detain and/or arrest an individual based on the fact or suspicion that they are in the United States illegally.

Strange talk from Joe Straus ahead of the 85th Texas Legislature

≥

State lawmakers and elected officials have dished about their legislative priorities ahead of the 2017 Legislature.

Speaker of the Texas House and San Antonio Republican lawmaker, Joe Straus? Not so much.

Last week, the Texas Tribune hosted a half-day’s worth of panel discussions during its “A Symposium Previewing the 85th Legislature” at the University of Texas at Austin. Many statewide lawmakers, when asked about the biggest issues facing Texas during the 85th Legislature, quickly pointed to approving a much leaner budget.

During the 84th Legislature in 2015, lawmakers passed a $209.4 billion budget, the largest in state history. But due to oil price shortfalls, there’s going to be much less money to spend this time around – “no question about it,” acknowledged Straus. The 2017 state-approved biennium budget is likely to be absent not just millions but billions of dollars.

When the Trib’s Evan Smith asked Straus a straight-forward question — which state-funded services aren’t going to be financed like before? — Straus balked.

“We’ll see,” said Straus.

“Surely you have an idea,” said Smith, co-founder and CEO of the Trib.

“Well, [weird pause], I have some ideas. Not, not enough to fill the bucket.”

Huh? Later, Smith asked if the state can afford to give property and business owners tax cuts.

“We’ll have to wait and see,” said Straus. “It’s too early to tell.”

Great.

Other Texas politicians, regardless of whether they were jockeying for

a position or not, didn’t hem and haw when pressed to discuss their legislative wants and desires.

State Sen. Royce West (D-Dallas) pointed out that mental health and foster-care reforms are desperately needed. State Rep. Joe Pickett (D-El Paso) cautioned against building high-dollar transportation projects such as toll roads. And State Sen. Paul Bettencourt (R-Houston) said that Texas Child Protective Services is not only suffering from budgetary mishaps but also from management snafus. “It’s a mess,” said Bettencourt about CPS. Straus did acknowledge that the decision to slash funding for in-home therapy for poor, disabled children was “maybe” a mistake. The San Antonio lawmaker also said that he intends to throw funds towards trying to fix the state’s woeful CPS and foster-care services as well as attempt to reform the state’s public school finance system.

However, when asked if bills related to so-called sanctuary cities (an initiative that has received rah-rah support from Gov. Greg Abbott) and E-Verify (which could force certain businesses to verify the immigration and citizenship status of their workers) could receive House approval, Straus again stole the show in a bizarro manner.

“I’m not ruling any bill out. We don’t start for a few weeks,” said Straus about the Lege, which is slated to begin on January 10. “And don’t forget that the House passes bills, too... you have to realize that when members give birth to bills, most of them aren’t going to live. That’s the sad fact of life.

That’s why we put new carpet in the House chamber this year.”

“I’m not entirely sure where this is going, but ok,” said the Trib’s Smith.

We aren’t either.

sacurrent.com • December 7-13, 2016 • CURRENT 13

NEWS

W

IK I ME

DI A C

OMMONS

ALEX ZIELINSKI | @ALEX_ZEE

WORD PLAY

• Rep. Lamar Smith

What does being a climate change “skeptic” really mean?

Last week we ran a feature on U.S. Representative Lamar Smith (R-TX), who represents a slice of Northwest San Antonio in Congress and chairs the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology. As chair, Smith has focused on subpoenaing hundreds of scientists, politicians and legal experts to find some kind of evidence that their data is flawed, created only to serve as a political tool.

Smith’s focus stems from his disbelief in hundreds of peer-reviewed studies showing that human activity has contributed to global warming. Smith has called this finding, now supported by 99.99 percent of the world’s scientists, “science fiction.”

After publishing our piece online last Tuesday morning, we received a response from Smith’s office. This came as a surprise, as we’d been trying to get a hold of Smith — or at least, get a statement from his staffers — for more than a month. Email requests had gone unanswered. Only after the story went live did Smith’s communications director, Kristina Baum, write back.

In her email, Baum clarified that her boss was not a climate change “denier,” but rather a “skeptic,” and that he shares President-elect Donald Trump’s alleged “openness” to accepting climate change as fact.

To be clear, Smith was never called a climate change denier in the article. (I did, however, give him that label in a tweet I sent out the morning the story ran – from my personal account, not the Current ’s). Regardless, maybe it’s necessary to clarify what it really means to be a climate change “skeptic” in a modern world, where

14 CURRENT • December 7-13, 2016 • sacurrent.com

human-made global warming is a near certainty – if you believe scientists, that is.

For Smith, being “skeptical” of climate change appears to mean he can denounce hundreds of studies by the world’s top climate scientists.

Smith has just decided modern climate science shouldn’t be trusted.

This is the logic he’s used to spend thousands of taxpayer dollars investigating these “suspicious” scientific organizations (from a 2012 statement): “I believe climate change is due to a combination of factors, including natural cycles, sun spots and human activity. But scientists still don’t know for certain how much each of these factors contributes to the overall climate change that the Earth is experiencing.”

But only 1 in 9,136 climate scientists “don’t know for certain” if humans have contributed to climate change.

The congressman’s spokeswoman also pointed out what she called similarities between Smith and Trump’s skepticism of global warming. In her email, she linked to an article on Smith that cited Trump’s recent New York Times interview, during which he said he had an “open mind” when it comes to climate change.

Not long after Baum’s email to us, a Trump SHU T T E R S T O CK

≥

spokesman announced that the president-elect will likely pull funding from all climate change research because what exists is not “good science.” Like Smith, this sweeping skepticism is unfounded — and it certainly doesn’t seem “open minded.”

If we’re using Smith and Trump as examples, it appears that being a climate change “skeptic” means you’re in “denial” of research accepted by nearly every expert in the field of climate science.

And if baseless “skepticism” gives a politician a free pass to vilify thousands of environmental advocates, scientists and politicians — well, then this is clearly about much more than simple word choice.

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FEATURE

•

Emilio Navaira IV and brother Diego honored dad Emilio at the Tejano Music Awards on November 12

JAIME MONZON

d n a B OF

s r e h t o r B d e t n e v n i e r s o r e l o d n a B t s a L e h y t a w a How g n i t S w e l b d n a x Tex-Me E N R IQU

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CURRENT • December 7-13, 2016 • sacurrent.com

E LOPETE

GUI

FEATURE

JAIME MONZON

B

“Hello Cleveland!” yells someone, somewhere within the bowels of the Tobin Center, and it ain’t Spinal Tap’s Derek Smalls.

His name is Emilio Navaira IV, the drummer for the band that, at least for the 15 minutes it took us to find their freaking dressing room, became known as The Lost Bandoleros.

“When it’s time to play, can someone take us to the stage? How are we going to get there?” asks bassist/ vocalist/brother Diego Navaira, who is growing impatient while the others (guitarists/singers/Brooklyn roommates Jerry Fuentes and Derek James) keep on laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

“Have you ever gone through anything like this before?”

James asks, smiling at the others. After going up and down stairs and elevators for what felt like 10 miles, they finally reached their destination. Diego crashed on the dressing room’s sofa as if he had just finished a grueling stage of the Tour de France, but the mood is great: It’s

BOF

November 12, and they were there to perform at the 36th annual Tejano Music Awards, where hours later they offered a two-song tribute to their father, Tejano legend Emilio Navaira III (scratch that — it’s Emilio, period), who died unexpectedly earlier this year at age 53.

“I wanted to make sure people remembered he was also a country music star,” says Diego about their decision to perform “Even If I Tried” (from Emilio’s 1995 Life is Good album, which peaked at #13 on the Top Country Albums chart and #82 on the overall Billboard 200 chart).

The other song in the tribute was a heartfelt rendition of “Mundo perfecto” (from Emilio’s 1996 Quédate album), with Diego on vocals and Emilio IV on acoustic guitar.

“We toured with dad for the last six or seven years of his life, and after the shows we’d do an acoustic jam for ourselves,” Diego recalls. His father would sing Eagles or Beatles tunes, not his own – except for “Mundo perfecto,” which he never really played live. “He really loved that tune,” Diego says.

The tribute to their father came after an incredible 2016 for the band: TV appearances (including Jimmy Kimmel Live! and the NBA All-Star game in Toronto with Sting), a recording contract with Warner Music Nashville, and jams and recording sessions with the former Police frontman, who they will open for during his 2017 U.S. and European tour (and, possibly, some South American dates).

Their infectious, hook-laden, early Beatles-meetsTex-Mex brand of country rock-pop (all wrapped in perfect three and four-part harmonies) was offi cially launched with The Last Bandoleros, the six-song EP digitally released in October (a physical version comes out in January, with a full-length release following later in 2017). At the time of this writing, the fi rst single, “Where Do You Go?” (released on July 23) peaked at #49 in Billboard’s Country charts, slowly climbing after a no. 52 position the previous week.

Reviews have overall been positive. Nashville music writer Bev Miskus said the song had her “checking the sacurrent.com • December 7-13, 2016 • CURRENT 17

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FEATURE

COURTESY

•Diego (left) and Emilio IV with their father a month before his passing.

station and the decade.” “The strong, unusual instrumental opening gives way to a wall of harmonies that never let up,” she wrote on NashvilleThreeSixty.com, complimenting the prominent accordion, ‘60s Brit-pop groove, and the band’s ascending, harmonic vocals. Back in May, Rolling Stone called the then-trio (Emilio IV started as a touring drummer but is now a full-time member) one of the “10 New Country Artists You Need to Know,” describing them as “the next generation of Tex-Mex renegades.”

The Bandoleros — including touring accordionist Percy Cardona — are often compared to the Texas Tornados (the Tex-Mex/conjunto elements), Los Lobos (strong singing and songwriting, a killer Latin fusion and the ability to rock hard) and The Mavericks (great singing and all that rock/ country flirting). They’re all reasonable comparisons – but the Bandoleros are a more natural, contemporary, updated version of the Tornados, fueled with the energy of youth.

At least that’s the assessment of Augie Meyers, one of the two remaining original members of the Tornados.

“There’s a bunch of bands that imitate the Tornados, but they sound horrible,” Meyers told the Current. “But [the

Bandoleros] were great, I loved their harmonies.”

Really, the Bandoleros are first and foremost a rock band – one that even jokes about how much they look the part. When someone mentions Emilio’s MTV Unplugged-era hairdo, calling him “Emilio Cobain,” he corrects them: “It’s Kurt Navaira. That last name is too strong to be left out.”

It’s hard to disagree. During the heyday of Tejano in the ’90s, only Selena was a bigger Tejano solo act than Emilio Navaira. And not only did he cross over to country music, but he loved the Beatles, Eagles, ZZ Top, Nirvana and all the great music from the ’60s and ’70s, instilling that passion and musical openmindedness to his kids from an early age.

“Emilio knew how good they were, he was very proud of them,” said Joe Reyes (of Buttercup and Demitasse), who has known and played with the brothers and Fuentes since they were young teenagers (Diego, Emilio IV and Reyes covered the Beatles on several gigs, and the brothers are featured on Buttercup’s upcoming Spring album). “[Emilio] told me the story of how he took them

out of school to take them to see A Hard Day’s Night at the Bijou, and that’s when everything changed for them.

When they left the theater, they were stunned, just like me after I saw Help! on TV.” Dad’s inspiration helped, but the Navaira brothers were born with a special talent: It seems they truly can hear, write, sing and play better than most kids their age.

“They stole my job from Studio M!” jokes Reyes, who learned how to produce records from Studio M’s Mike and Ronnie Morales in the late ’80s. “As I became busier with my own stuff, [Fuentes and the Navairas] took over all the guitar production I was doing, and they were great.”

So the Navairas kept playing and playing until they formed Ready Revolution, a pop-rock band. Enter Jerry Fuentes, an SA native who released his first album while still a young teen and, like Reyes and the Navairas, was a protégé of Mike Morales. Eventually, Fuentes moved to Brooklyn and met Derek James, and the two became friends and roommates. They set up a studio in their basement and Fuentes would regularly come back to SA and continue writing. It was Ron Morales who suggested sacurrent.com • December 7-13, 2016 • CURRENT 19

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CURRENT • December 7-13, 2016 • sacurrent.com

FEATURE

JAIME MONZON

Fuentes meet the brothers.

“They were all like, ‘You have to meet these two brothers, they came in after you left and they’re amazing!’” Fuentes remembered. He and the Navairas met and clicked immediately, both personally and musically. They wrote feverishly for months, until they realized they had songs for a whole album.

“We didn’t want to give the tunes to no one else,” said Diego. “When we got together and wrote those songs, it was just magic. We soon realized we had to take it as far as we could take it.”

Fuentes had met Sting manager Martin Kierszenbaum (who wrote one of the Texas Tornados’ early bios when he was at Warner) through a mutual acquaintance, and did some studio work for the former Police frontman. The sessions went so well Sting invited Fuentes and Diego to play with him at the NBA All-Star game in Toronto in February. They sang backup vocals in Sting’s new album, 57th & 9th, and the Sting/Bandoleros live version of the Police’s “Next To You” is featured on 57th & 9th’s deluxe version.

I’ve worked with [Sting] for 26 years, and he works on musical impulse,” Kierszenbaum told the Current. “He had great vibes with those guys.”

“It was very surreal,” said Emilio IV. “Three or four times in the studio I thought, ‘Wow… That’s Sting over there…’ but after a while we got to know him and he’s such a nice guy.”

“He allows you to feel comfortable around him,” added Diego.

Preparing for the upcoming Sting tour, the band had a handful of terrific SA performances, including a free show at the Havana Hotel during the Música en la Calle fest on November 4 (with Blackbird Sing and Los Texmaniacs) and a Sam’s Burger Joint gig where they joined headliner Marc Broussard onstage on November 18. On both occasions, they soared and earned scores of new fans, many of whom had no idea who they were. The best part: the full-length, which was produced by Fuentes, will be a reflection of how they sound live, and vice versa.

“What you hear on the record, you’re going to hear live, and we were very conscious of that when we were recording it,” said Diego. “Sometimes we had three-part guitars, but we decided not to do anything we won’t be able to pull off live.”

Rock, country, Tex-Mex, fusion… Call them whatever you want. They seem like the kind of band that could play pasodobles or Polynesian chants if they wanted; their

precision, swing and, as Reyes rightfully says, “good taste” to come up with disarming hooks would remain.

“Let me tell you something they won’t tell you,” said Michael Morales, the Grammy-winning head of Studio M. “This is a young supergroup. More often than not, when you put together the best musicians in the world they make terrible records. But in this case, these guys were all groomed learning not only to be the great musicians that they are, but the right musicians. The right musicians play great but also write the right songs, and this is what happens with the Bandoleros.”

“They basically play by ear, and their ears are pretty good,” said Reyes. “Those guys have the ability to detect what the song needs, and they master so many different styles. Even though they’re so young, they’ve been playing forever, that’s all they’ve ever done, and it shows. They do their thing but can also hang and play with Sting. That’s how good they are.”

The Sting, Joe Sumner (Sting’s son) and The Last Bandoleros tour starts February 1 in Vancouver, Canada, and ends May 4 in Buenos Aires, Argentina. sacurrent.com • December 7-13, 2016 • CURRENT 21

JACK FORDYCE / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

CALENDAR

THU

◀ Dolly Parton is a legend. Oh sure, folks say that about all sorts of people, but with Dolly, there’s hardly another word more apt. The actress, author, entrepreneur, fashion icon, philanthropist, country cultural touchstone, and, of course, supremely gifted singer-songwriter is the most awarded female country act of all time. And all the accolades she’s won (including eight Grammys and seven Academy of Country Music Awards) barely do her justice. Her voice, which has aged beautifully and gracefully, is solid country gold, with a timbre and a twang that is unmistakably her own. Indeed, Dolly is responsible, along with just a handful of other pioneering women, for making all facets of the country music establishment — notoriously a “Good Ol’ Boys Club,” as Kacey Musgraves called it last year — more open to the talents of women. While she’s busy with a whole host of things these days, even at the ripe old age of 70, the opportunity to see Dolly perform live, especially in a place like the Tobin, doesn’t come around too often. Don’t miss out. $95-$1,000, 8pm, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 2238624, tobincenter.org. — James Courtney

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ReDo: event Deck the Halls

Even though it’s strictly adults-only, The DoSeum’s playful ReDo event series routinely lures the kid out of grownups who’ve been loosened with libations and tempted with nostalgic shenanigans.

Promising to “make you feel like a kid on your very first sled ride,” ReDo’s December edition ramps up the holiday cheer with a menu of potent potions mixed up by the shakers and stirrers of

the San Antonio Cocktail Conference.

After drowning any seasonal sorrows with an Ivy Gimlet, French 75, Gold Rush or Dark and Stormy, guests can explore the 100,000-square-foot, indoor/outdoor facility to enjoy state-of-the-art exhibits or take part in an optional white elephant gift exchange (gifts should be $10 or less), decorate gingerbread men and stockings, or pose for a festive photo with Santa Claus — ugly sweaters encouraged. $25 (includes six drink tickets), 6-9pm, The DoSeum, 2800 Broadway, (210) 2124453, thedoseum.org. — Bryan Rindfuss

◀ Five-time Grammy winner Dianne Reeves achieved the impossible: She made us like a Christmas album. Christmas Time Is Here (2004), which is the basis of her concert at the Carver, is the perfect vehicle to please everyone from jazz die-hard fans of her amazing tone, improv abilities and skillful scat singing, to simple folks who dig things like “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” All of these holiday classics were reinvented and appropriated

by Reeves, who made them her own without losing their essence. Reeves is a consummate performer and one of the few jazz/R&B figures who’s accessible without sacrificing any musical or vocal mastery. We only hope she’ll also sing some of her earlier material (or at least some from Beautiful Life, her 2015 Grammy-winning Best Jazz Vocal Album, a masterpiece of pop, R&B and Latin sounds). But, even if she doesn’t, we’re in. $35, 8pm, Carver Community Cultural Center, Jo Long Theatre, 226 N. Hackberry St., (210) 207-2234, thecarver.org. — Enrique Lopetegui

22 CURRENT • December 7-13, 2016 • sacurrent.com

CALENDAR

COURTESY OF JOE ELY

FRI

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Joe Ely

music

◀ Lubbock-born guitarist and songwriter Joe Ely is all over the place, in terms of his musical style(s) and his poetic vision expressed in song. The cowboy rock ‘n’ roller is active in the alt-country band The Flatlanders, which also features Texas country dignitaries Butch Hancock and Jimmie Dale Gilmore, and, in the past, has worked with such divergent acts as The Clash, Los Super Seven and Bruce Springsteen.

Ely even took a jaunt into experimental electronic territory, as heard on 2014’s B4 84, an album made on the Apple II computer and recorded more than a decade before the idea of personal computers really took off. But it is his solo country efforts that really showcase Ely’s prowess and cement his place as a Texas music icon. His most recent output, 2015’s Panhandle Rambler, is as perfect a collection of reflective, West Texas country music as you’re ever likely to find. $20-$90, 8pm, Sam’s Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com. — JC

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comedy

◀ Though he’s not the first comedian to discuss how hard it is to make people laugh instead of just pissing them off in these evershifting, uncertain times, Mike Birbiglia — the almost preternaturally lovable force propelling Sleepwalk with Me, What I Should Have Said Was Nothing and My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend to heights sometimes transcending stand-up — is quite possibly the best comedian to examine the topic in a way that does more than incite even further ire. Though he should have his latest show Thank God for Jokes polished to a Netflix-ready sheen by the time the tour gets to San Antonio, he’s been performing a show called Working It Out, where he takes bigger risks with unproven material to gauge exactly what gets a chuckle anymore.

As the blurb for the show says: “The same jokes that elicit laughter have the power to produce tears, rage, and a whole lot of getting yelled at.” Knowing Birbiglia, he’ll engage the offended with empathy and turn some of the most unexpected reactions to his jokes into astonishingly insightful comedy gold. $27.50-$32.50, 8pm, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org. — Jeremy Martin FRI

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Mike Birbiglia

Billy Joel

Now here’s a consummate New Yorker worth getting behind.

Billy Joel, known to those who love him as simply The Piano Man (after his most iconic song), hasn’t released an album since 2001’s collection of classical compositions Fantasies & Delsusions.

But that hasn’t stopped the pioneering, piano-centric rock ‘n’ roller from continuing to pack arenas around the globe.

Fans have every reason to hope that Joel, a man who knows his audience and caters to it well, will lean heavily on music

music

from his prolific 1970s output in terms of his set list for this show. Joel, who over the past several years has been raking in the distinguished accolades (see: The Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song and The Kennedy Center Honors), is a man on fire in the live setting, where his gift for piano playing is given room to roam. Maybe he didn’t start the fire, but he’s damn sure keeping it going. $49.50-$1,000, 8pm, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center Pkwy., (210) 444-5000, attcenter.com. — JC

sacurrent.com • December 7-13, 2016 • CURRENT 23

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COURTESY OF FORTUNE FEIMSTER

CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

◀ A regular on Chelsea Lately and a recurring character on the The Mindy Project, comedian Fortune Feimster recently collaborated with Tina Fey on the semiautobiographical sitcom Family Fortune. Although it never made it past the pilot stage, it’s easy to see why Fey wanted in. After watching Feimster on stage for even a few minutes, one can’t help but mentally build a sitcom around the plain-spoken North Carolina native and self-

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La Tamalada

special event

COURTESY OF KERRY DANCE TROUPE

◀ Humorously illustrated by Alicia Mena’s beloved comedy Las Nuevas Tamaleras (playing at the Guadalupe Theater through December 11), spreading masa and filling on corn husks, wrapping them up snugly and steaming them to perfection is not as easy as it might look. For those who haven’t been lucky enough to learn the art of making tamales amid family and friends at yuletide tamaladas, the Witte once again steps in to fill in the blanks with a hands-on workshop. Facilitated by seasoned tamal expert Gloria Solis and presented in conjunction with the museum’s kid-friendly Family Days programming, La Tamalada goes beyond the promise of technical know-how as it offers each guest “a half-dozen bean tamales to enjoy for lunch or take home.” $15-$25, 11am-1pm, Witte Museum, 3801 Broadway, advance reservations required by emailing reservations@wittemuseum.org or calling (210) 357-1910, wittemuseum.org. — BR

SAT

10

An Irish Christmas

music

+ dance

proclaimed redneck — the story she tells on Conan about coming out to her father is touching, embodying an Emmy-worthy emotional arc in a quick backand-forth, and the awkward living situation she experienced in Spain as related on Comedy Central’s This Is Not Happening sounds like a sitcom concept in and of itself. $18.50, 8pm & 10:15pm Fri-Sat, 7pm Sun, Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 5418805, lolsanantonio.com. — JM

▲ SA’s lovers of Irish song and culture have a little something extra to rejoice in this holiday season, as the merry Irish Christmas tour comes to The Tobin.

Presented by Kerry Irish Productions, an L.A.-based group dedicated to preserving and promoting Irish culture, this show is a veritable buffet of Irish song, dance, folk tradition, story and humor — all centered around yuletides of yore on the Emerald Isle. A fun affair for

the whole family, the production stays true to life in the sense that it depicts the joyful occasion of Christmas as a time that can magnify hardships and tensions, as well as joys. All told, this production will have you laughing, crying, dancing and singing as you lighten your load and prepare for the holidays at hand. $29.50-$56.50, 7:30pm, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 2238624, tobincenter.org.

— JC

SAT

10

Spurs vs. Nets

sports ▶ The Spurs have been practically unbeatable away from the AT&T Center so far, setting a franchise record for consecutive road wins to tip off the NBA season. While Kawhi Leonard’s increased effort on the offensive end has been critical to San Antonio’s success in opposing arenas, the team has also received a muchneeded boost from their bench. A scrappy mix of the title-tested Foreign Legion and last season’s Juice Unit, Coach Pop’s reserves blend veteran moxie and youthful athleticism with a healthy dose of timely shooting.

Sparkplug Patty Mills has shown flashes of his Olympic form, and rookie Davis Bertans’ shooting stroke has somehow sweetened the trade that brought Leonard to San Antonio. The Brooklyn Nets should be hard-pressed to match the Spurs bench this Saturday night. $16-$1,600, 7:30pm, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center, (210) 4445000, attcenter.com. – M. Solis

sacurrent.com • December 7-13, 2016 • CURRENT 25

26 CURRENT • December 7-13, 2016 • sacurrent.com

CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

ART Art opening: “Diego y Frida: A Smile in the Middle of the Way” The Mexican

Cultural Institute showcases a selection of photographs chronicling the rocky union of iconic Mexican artists Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo. Free, 7:30-9pm Thursday; Mexican Cultural Institute, 600 Hemisfair Plaza Way, (210) 227-0123.

Art opening: “Denial” Artist Elyse Grams

presents a collection of ceramic vessels exploring loss and “the way that we as a society hide our grief in plain sight.” Free, 7-10pm Saturday; Provenance Gallery, 1906 S. Flores St., (210) 216-8362.

Art opening: “Mystica” Local painter Steven Daluz unveils a new body of work at a reception with drinks, an art talk (6:45pm) and live harp music by Nelda Ethridge.

Free, 6-8pm Thursday; AnArte Gallery, 7959 Broadway, (210) 826-5674.

Art opening: “The Fringe” SA native Brian

Wedgworth’s latest draws inspiration from living between two worlds or outside the norm. Free, 7-10pm Saturday; Dock Space Gallery, 107 Lone Star Blvd., (210) 723-3048.

Art Party: Peace, Joy, Art SAMA and KRTU’s

Art Party series continues with an evening of gallery tours, cocktails, art-making activites and live music by The Jazz Protagonists. $5-$10, 6-8pm Friday; San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave., (210) 978-8100.

Holiday Artisan River Walk Show This

annual show invites guests to stroll the River Walk while browsing for items for the home and garden. Free, 11am-11pm Friday-Sunday; San Antonio River Walk, (210) 227-4262.

Virgen de Guadalupe Art show and Christmas Market Guests to this Virgen

de Guadalupe-themed exhibit and holiday market are asked to bring an unwrapped Christmas gift for a pre-teen or make a monetary donation to Roy Maas Youth Alternatives-The Bridge Shelter. Free, 7-11pm Friday; Brick, 108 Blue Star, (210) 273-5023.

THEATER All Is Calm: The Christmas Truce of 1914

Styled as a radio musical drama, All Is Calm tells the story of the Christmas Truce through the words of those who were there, using text from “letters, journals, official war documents, poetry [and] grave stone inscriptions” among its sources.

The Playhouse’s production features San Antonio’s all-male a capella group The Marcsmen. $10-$40, 8pm ThursdaySaturday, 3pm Sunday; The Playhouse, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258.

Jersey Boys Frankie Valli and The Four

Seasons carved a niche in the American consciousness when they broke onto the scene in the 1960s. Even those of us who live under a rock can’t help but be familiar with the beloved hits “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” and “Big Girls Don’t Cry.” That being said, until Jersey Boys premiered on Broadway in 2005, not much was widely known about the men behind the band, and for good reason – public knowledge of the band members’ spotty history and ongoing financial issues would have only harmed their careers. $30-$110, 7:30pm Tuesday-Thursday, 8pm Friday, 2pm & 8pm Saturday, 2pm & 7pm Sunday; The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Originally written in 1968 as a

15-minute “pop cantata” for a private London boys school, Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice's Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat tells the familiar story of Jacob’s favorite son and the jealous brothers who sell Joseph into slavery in Egypt. Joseph only escapes life in prison because he can interpret the dreams of a desperate Pharaoh, “wryly and riotously” depicted as another “king” — Elvis. $17-$26, 7:30pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday; Woodlawn Theatre, 1920 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 267-8388.

Las Nuevas Tamaleras Touching on the

hard work, bonding and mishaps intrinsic to yuletide tamaladas, Alicia Mena’s beloved one-act comedy stars Patricia Zamora, Sonia M. Rodriguez and Kristina Keller as first-time tamaleras who get an unexpected assist from the ghosts of tamal authorities Doña Juanita (Ruby Nelda Perez) and Doña Mercedes (Alicia Mena). $12-$50, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday; Guadalupe Theater, 1301 Guadalupe St., (210) 223-2009.

Merry Gentlemen Drawing inspiration from

Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, playwright Sheila Rinear’s original production Merry Gentlemen tells the story of Ben and Tim Dickens, a father and son whose lives have been on hold ever since a car accident that killed Mrs. Dickens. $10-$15, 8pm Friday-

Saturday, 3pm Sunday; The Overtime Theater, 1203 Camden St., (210) 557-7562.

The Paisley Sisters’ Christmas Special

A quirky alternative to traditional holiday fare, this musical comedy follows sisters Connie, Bonnie, Lonnie and Abigail as they stage “a brand-new color-television holiday extravaganza” circa 1964 and attempt to unravel a mystery concerning their corporate sponsor, Plasticon. $30, 7:30pm Saturday, 3:30pm Sunday; Roxie Theater, 7460 Callaghan Road, (210) 360-9180.

The Santaland Diaries Based on the true

chronicles of comic genius David Sedaris’ stint working as an elf at Macy’s Santaland, this cult classic riffs on a few of his truly odd encounters during the height of the holiday crunch. Kelly and Bart Roush direct John Stillwagon (as Sedaris’ not-so-merry alter ego Crumpet the Elf) in The Classic Theatre’s production, which contains mature content and is not recommended for children. $20, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm & 7pm Sunday; Classic Theatre of San Antonio, 1924 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 589-8450.

WORDS La Virgen Project Twelve female writers and

performers (Marisela Barrera, Anna De Luna, Sarah Fisch, Maria Ibarra and Amalia Ortiz among them) come together for a reading of “true stories of love, politics, hope and Virgens” with 100 percent of door proceeds benefiting the school at Standing Rock. $10, 6-7:30pm Sunday; Galería Guadalupe, 723 S. Brazos St., (210) 271-3151.

COMEDY Andy Beningo A clean comic who riffs on his

short-lived career as a middle school teacher and our society’s obsession with technology, Detroit native Andy Beningo makes regular appearances on The Bob and Tom Show and recently released the comedy CD Quiet Coyote. $16, 8pm Wednesday-Thursday; Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805.

SPECIAL EVENTS Arturo Duran Collection Fashion Show

Local designer Arturo Duran’s debut fashion collection draws creative inspiration from his Aztec ancestry and the pre-Colombian era. Free, 8:30-11:45pm Thursday; Babio’s, 527 W. Hildebrand Ave., (830) 734-3561.

HungerSlam Galactic Professional

Wrestling and the San Antonio Food Bank co-host a family-friendly night featuring an RCW Championship Title match and a bout between new Japan Pro Wrestling Superstar Lance Hoyt and RCW Heavyweight Champion Michael Faith. $12-$15, 7:30-10:30pm Saturday; San

Antonio Food Bank, 5200 Enrique Barrera Pkwy., (210) 367-9506.

Holiday Lights Walking/Boat Tour Gray

Line’s special holiday tour combines the twinkling lights of the River Walk with stories of yuletide traditions from Germany, Spain, Mexico and Colonial Texas. The tour begins at Alamo Plaza, ends at San Fernando Cathedral and includes a brief history of San Antonio. $23, 7-9pm Tuesday; Alamo Plaza, 300 Alamo Plaza, (800) 341-6000.

Mercado de Artistas The Jackson Ranch

welcomes an array of vendors for a threeday market and art exhibit enhanced with live music, refreshments and a raffle. Free, noon-7pm Friday, 10am-6pm SaturdaySunday; The Jackson Ranch, 8910 Callaghan Road, (210) 344-8910.

Mercury Project Bazaar Contemporary

art space Mercury Project hosts a holiday bazaar featuring Boho Chica’s curated resale, Fresh Modern Flower design, art by Elizabeth Carrington, Mingle Jewelry, Julie Spako ceramics, henna body art, artisanal sandwiches and an abstract art workshop for kids. Free, 10am-4pm Saturday; Mercury Project, 538 Roosevelt Ave., (210) 478-9133.

OPEN Holiday Market The Center City

Development and Operations Department (CCDO) partners with property owners and retailers for a holiday shopping initiative showcasing local entrepreneurs in vacant downtown spaces. Free, 11am-8pm FridaySaturday, noon-6pm Sunday; 217 & 231 E. Houston St., (210) 207-3914.

Time Travel Saturday: South Texas Holiday Traditions The Witte celebrates

the season with a family day filled with ornament decorating, storytelling, hot chocolate and a performance of the beloved holiday play Los Pastores. $7-$10, noon-4pm Saturday; Witte Museum, 3801 Broadway, (210) 357-1900.

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party The Well

joins forces with fashion blogger Annabel Gomez for a party featuring drinks, food and an ugly sweater contest. $10 (benefting Rally for Rowan), 9pm-1am Saturday; The Well, 5539 UTSA Blvd., (210) 877-9099.

Under the Mistletoe Artisan Market

Carmens de la Calle and Peoplehood team up for a two-day market with an assortment of vendors (selling everything from pottery and paintings to dream catchers and organic soaps), a tamalemaking class led by Cocina Heritage (6-7:30pm Saturday), a flamenco flash mob (7-8pm Saturday) and a block party with music and tango dancing in the street (8-11pm Saturday). $5-$15, 5-11pm Saturday, noon-5pm Sunday; Carmens De La Calle Cafe, 320 N. Flores St., (210) 281-4349.

sacurrent.com • December 7-13, 2016 • CURRENT 27

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COURTESY DIANA KERSEY

ARTS + CULTURE

PUBLIC WORKS VIA taps local ceramics master Diana Kersey for new Five Points installation

≥

Public art is an essential component of any truly thriving city. The statement that (tactful, thoughtful) public art projects make to the residents of a city is multifaceted, involving the dual recognition(s) that art is valuable and improves quality of life – and that, as such, everyone deserves art in their lives.

Public art is also important in that it breaks the frame of the sacred museum space (or the avant garde gallery space) and adorns the everyday spaces of a city. In providing for this, public and private organizations show that they believe in the populist value of art as universal enrichment, belonging to everyone, perhaps especially those who might feel excluded from the art world as such.

The City of San Antonio has made great strides of late in the realm of public art, and VIA, the city’s one answer to the problem of mass transit, has also been increasingly active in recruiting writers and artists to beautify its stops, stations, and even the interiors of its buses. VIA’s latest foray into the realm of public art, through an initiative called the Art in Transit Program,

will be an exquisite on-site installation by local ceramics master Diana Kersey, at the VIA Five Points stop (at Fredericksburg and Flores). Installation of the work is expected to begin this month.

We caught up with Kersey — whose brilliant ceramic work ranges from small items like pots and vases and ornamental items to much larger and more adventurous pieces — at her home studio, to discuss the project and the value of public art in her estimation. Kersey is warm, delightfully sharp, and eager to detail her process in the easygoing, generous and wise manner you might expect of someone who has long tended to (and mastered) artistic creation.

Kersey, who fell in love with ceramics long ago for its “physicality and versatility,” noted that mastering the potter’s art requires skill “in chemistry, engineering, math, history, and geology, in addition to the technical skills one acquires learning the various forming processes.” Plus, she added, “the materials smell good.”

For her VIA Five Points installation, answering a call for an “urban oasis” theme, Kersey has created “five interrelated columns, all different in form and surface,

JAMES COURTNEY

but all containing design motifs that celebrate the natural world.” Hoping to welcome the natural world into her artistic representations of it, Kersey noted that “some parts of the brick columns even have little holes in them to possibly support insects and lizards.”

Speaking in general about the value of public art, Kersey explained that “investment in public art throughout our city sends a powerful message that each resident matters, regardless of ethnicity or economic class.” She added that, “Everyone who walks or drives by one of my bridges [a reference to Kersey’s three other public art contributions in town] owns a little piece of that artwork, and when I am honored with a public commission, I strive to create something that will become a beloved part of the area long after I am gone.”

VIA’s Manager of Facility Programs, Abigail Kinnison Rodriguez, told the Current via email that the agency is thrilled with Kersey’s work on the project, saying that by “embracing public art, VIA is making a commitment to the community it serves, and is better able to personalize its relationship with transit riders, area visitors and the general public.”

sacurrent.com • December 7-13, 2016 • CURRENT 29

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CURRENT • December 7-13, 2016 • sacurrent.com

LIONSGATE PREMIERE

SCREENS

SEQUEL COURTESY OF BROAD GREEN PICTURES

DOWN, MAN

Shia LaBeouf takes on another intense, complex role in Man Down DAN HUDAK

≥

Man Down doesn’t start well. Soldier Gabe Drummer (Shia LaBeouf) is seen rescuing his captive son in an abandoned building as helicopters fly overhead. Why he has to rescue his son, why there’s danger, and the identity of the antagonists are all unknown, which means it’s an action scene without context, which means it’s pointless. And no, it’s not so expertly staged and executed that it’s good enough to exist on its own.

Thankfully, director Dito Montiel’s ( Empire State ) film gets progressively better as it goes, culminating in a substantial ending that is good enough to make the movie worth recommending.

Man Down has three intersecting storylines, and each is compelling in its own way: The first tells of Marine Corps grunt Gabe as he survives basic training with his best friend Devin (Jai Courtney) and goes to Afghanistan. The second storyline features Gabe speaking to a military shrink (Gary Oldman) about the

horrible events he experiences, and the third chronicles screen antics, he’s recently chosen roles, both here Gabe’s search for his missing wife (Kate Mara) and and in last summer’s American Honey, in which his son (Charlie Shotwell) after a virus wipes out most of characters are a bit cuckoo. In both cases, however, mankind. Any of these plotlines on their own would’ve they should not be laughed at. In American Honey his made for an interesting narrative; all three together character represents the degradation of the American creates a jumbled, incohesive mess. dream to its most primal level, and Gabe is a soldier At least by the end it all comes together, in part who doesn’t know how to cope with his life being because everything – including the aforementioned torn apart. These are intense, complex roles that he’s out-of-context opening scene – is explained with handling well; mind you his talent was never an issue, saddening clarity. This is not an accomplishment so if what he’s doing will get people to work with him of proper pacing, as there are far too many scenes again, mission accomplished. that should have been excised, including at least five One thing Man Down does well by the end is minutes worth of Marine Corps basic training that showcase the terrors of military veterans’ PTSD, and in amount to nothing. At 92 minutes, it’s hard to say the doing so it suggests it’s a much bigger problem than film is too long, but it is; if co-writers Montiel and Adam people realize. Beyond identifying the problem, though, G. Simon could’ve gotten to the heart of the action, and is the larger issue of how to help the veterans suffering told the story with precision, it would’ve made the from it. Man Down may help in that regard, but the movie imminently more enjoyable. ★ ★ ★ film is unlikely to be embraced on a large enough It’s interesting that, given LaBeouf’s reported off scale to make a significant difference. sacurrent.com • December 7-13, 2016 • CURRENT 31

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Where to find buñuelos, churros and arroz con leche this December

Nothing says San Antonio in the winter ike a good Mexican dessert.

This holiday season, decorate your table with some delectable local favorites, from churros and buñuelos to flan and arroz con leche.

For churros, the delicious cinnamon and sugar-covered fried pastry sticks, you have two options: Mexican and Cuban style. While Mexican churros are long and crispy on the outside, Cuban churros can also be found and are softer and smaller.

La Popular Bakery (1049 Rivas St.), on the westside, is home to the quintessential Mexican churro. Sweet and delicious, this panaderia is where it’s at for all sweets “tradicional.” Or make the pilgrimage to La Mejico Bakery, a dessert trailer that sits outside El Bucanero off Blanco, where each churro costs $1.59 and includes a dipping sauce (everything from cajeta to Oreo).

Meanwhile Ocho (1015 Navarro St.), the revered restaurant on the grounds of Hotel Havana, naturally offers up the Cuban variety. Served with lime custard on the side, Ocho’s churros are a perfect complement to their mouthwatering dinner plates and tasty beverages.

Of course, buñuelos

are synonymous with the holidays. Growing up, we knew the seasons were changing by the new-found succulent pastries that arrived in the kitchen. And while buñuelos are nowadays easy to find in just about every grocery store, there’s a soft place in our hearts for the old standby local providers.

Buñuelo Factory (1905 West Ave.) is always a muststop destination when the weather begins to shift. Light and sugary, the crispy and sweet tortilla dessert should not be missed. Or visit the Sanitary Tortilla Co. (623 Urban Loop) where aside from their oodles of savory tortilla products, you can find fresh mini buñuelos that’ll make for neater snacking.

And a list of Mexican desserts for fall wouldn’t be complete without arroz con leche, a traditional rice pudding at the heart of San Antonio’s culinary history.

While you’ll find some great variations at a number of food trucks across town, a favorite is always on the menu at Guajillo’s (1001 NW Loop 410). Guajillo’s founders, originally from Mexico City, provide authentic and traditional interior Mexican dishes. Naturally, this dish, with its own origins in Mexico City, must be tried here.

M O R E I N F O AT P E A R L .C O M sacurrent.com • December 7-13, 2016 • CURRENT 33

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FOOD

Johnny on the spot, IKEA, and exploring the Lowcountry

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Send food- and nightlife-related events and news to flavor@sacurrent.com.

More from Johnny

make the trek to Live Oak for lunch/dinner when the store opens. In all honesty, ligonberries and all the products IKEA manages to put said berry in should be on your list. Surely we can find uses for ligonberry drink, preserves, and syrup.

If you're dying to have an IKEA date sometime in the future with a manic pixie dream girl that culminates with both of you enjoying a plate of balls at the Restaurant, or you're masochistic enough to put your healthy relationship through the ringer of tiny pencils, giant carts and chingos of lampshades/dish towels/Lacks/ Liatorps, then by all means start the countdown. I'm just ready to get get my hands on the Lordagsgodis (bulk candy, it's just bulk candy).

Lordagsgodis!

Lowcountry

> I’m 100 percent sure the guy runs on really great caffeine. How else can chef Johnny Hernandez keep opening La Gloria’s and Fruterias across the land while adding two entirely new concepts to our fair city in 2017?

During the official grand opening of the Flats at Big Tex on Tuesday, Hernandez announced the upcoming opening of Villa Rica, a Mexican seafood joint, and Burgerteca, a Mexican-inspired burger joint. The eateries will take up some of the 6,400 square feet of the ground floor retail space the Flats at Big Tex holds.

The two eateries will follow the example of the original Fruteria, which is housed on the ground floor of the Steel House Lofts. > The good news: San Antonio is FINALLY getting its own IKEA. The bad news: The Swedish furniture giant with the hard-to-assemble dressers/desks/kitchen cabinets won't break ground in Live Oak until 2018.

Which means we'll have to wait three long years to taste the oddly satisfying dish that is Swedish meatballs made with a combination of beef, pork, onion, breadcrumbs, egg, water, salt and pepper. At $4.99 for a plate with mashed potatoes, seasonal veggies, cream sauce and ligonberries, said meatballs might be one of the cheapest lunches in town when IKEA opens its doors (you know, if you're willing to lose just a little bit of your sanity every time you step into the store).

But the meatballs (don't worry, they fixed the horse meat situation years ago) won't be the only reason to

> The Southtown area gained another bar over the Thanksgiving weekend with the debut of Lowcountry. If you're anything like my uber for the night, you might miss it.

Located inside a renovated house, the back end of Lowcountry juts into Alamo Street Eat Bar's back patio if that helps you place it. Opened by Danny Delgado (Faust Tavern, Hi-Tones, the late Phantom Room, The Squeezebox) and Drew Morros and Roberta Marques of Crossroads Kitchen, Lowcountry is as chill as the Southern-inspired name would suggest. The space is dark, yet homey, and dotted with quaint knick-knacks like cat-shaped planters and other whatnots.

Though the bar itself is bit of a tight squeeze, an outdoor patio decked out with twinkly lights is just spacious enough to hang around and toss back a few brews or cocktails. The cocktail menu, designed by

Denise De Glopper formerly with Barbaro, is definitely worth exploring. It’s a tightly-constructed menu with something for all to enjoy, including a punch and a boozy Talk Strong.

On the food side, Crossroads Kitchen is supplying "proper bar food" for its sister bar. Morros and Marques, South Carolina natives, are whipping up crunchy cheese straws, pork cracklins, boiled peanuts and pickled eggs.

Programming for Lowcountry is already jiving. Back Yonder, a monthly songwriters' night curated by Torin Metz and Garrett T. Capps, was held last Sunday followed by a First Friday party over the weekend with country records by DJ Big Tex and music by D.T. Buffkin and Garrett T. Capps on the back patio.

Lowcountry is open 4 p.m. to 2 a.m. Tuesday-Sunday.

318 Martinez St., (210) 560-2224.

Brisket Goodness

> Pit master Esaul Ramos (formerly head pit master at Austin’s La Barbecue) and high school best friend Joe Melig have opened San Antonio’s news barbecue obsession.

2M Smokehouse and Catering, which I raved about for its Saturday pop-ups this summer, is now open off S. W.W. White. Though a bit of a drive for most not in the area, the restaurant will be worth the hike for its brisket alone with its the thick bark, juicy middle, and scant fat left on the brisket which melts in your mouth without an overwhelmingly smoky taste. Billed as hand-crafted Texas barbecue with a Mexican flare, 2M Smokehouse will be worth lining up for.

2731 S. W.W. White Road, (210) 885-9352. sacurrent.com • December 7-13, 2016 • CURRENT 35

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NIGHTLIFE

COURTESY OF DAVID ESQUILIN

BREWS NEWS Here’s what you can expect from SA’s latest brewery JEREMY BANAS

•

The staff behind Weathered Souls

≥

The wait is finally over. On November 19, San Antonio’s newest brewery, Weathered Souls Brewing Co., celebrated their grand opening in very grand fashion. With doors opening at noon, the guys at Weathered Souls (located at 606 Embassy Oaks, suite 500) celebrated long and hard until around midnight with eight hundred of their closest friends.

Attendees began lining up around 11:00am awaiting the formal ribbon cutting ceremony at 11:30 am and to be first to get a crack at the brew they have been eagerly waiting try.

The décor inside the restaurant side of the brewpub is simple. Sleek concrete floors that are stained a glossy brown matching the marble style countertops, tables and chairs. Comforting earth tones adorn the walls with a tile backsplash accenting the 16 taps available. Next to the restaurant side is a rolling garage door separating

the brewhouse that features a 20-barrel brewing system and several 40-barrel fermenters, as well as the cold room and future barrel program.

As the Weathered Souls guys are fond of saying (heck, it’s even written on the brewery wall), “It’s all about the beer” and they held true to that. Tappings which began at noon, featured 11 different brews covering multiple styles.

Their core brews: Malterial Girl, a Blonde Ale with Kölsch yeast; Autumn, an American Porter; and Test Batch IPA 002, a West Coast Styled IPA were available, with a few special releases including SpottieOttieHopalicious and Who Got The Juice Now both of which are co-founder and head brewer Marcus Baskerville’s take on the controversial New England Style IPA. This trendy and emerging style is a bit controversial, as the style is typically unfiltered creating a haze, as well as some breweries adding flour and wheat

to artificially create the haziness. This often rubs many brewers in the rest of the country the wrong way, as many brewers look at hazy beers as ones that might be brewed poorly.

Production manager Seth Parker said that although all of the beers were popular, crowd favorites were SpottieOttieHopalicious, Malterial Girl and essentially all of their barrel aged beers, including a barrel aged Imperial Stout dubbed Cavernous weighing it at 12.5 percent ABV. Two groups were key to helping Weathered Souls get off the ground including Michelle Boggs with the San Antonio Economic Development Foundation, which performed the grand opening.

Hours going forward will be Monday through Thursday 4-10 p.m., Fridays 3-10 p.m., Saturdays noon-10 p.m. and Sundays 1-6 p.m. Plans for distribution are pending, as the guys are wanting to get more established before ramping up production.

sacurrent.com • December 7-13, 2016 • CURRENT 37

MUSIC

HABLADOR RECORDS

MP

MUSIC PICKS

ATX’s Ian Moore is an intrepid musical explorer who has been actively making and playing music all over the place, since at least the early 1990s. Starting with blues roots, even though his first instrument was violin, Moore, who was once a part of the great Joe Ely’s band, crafted a sound for himself that also brings in elements of world music, psych-rock, power pop, and more avant garde elements.

For this special Holiday show at 502 Bar, Moore will be joined by the likeminded musical wanderers of Demitasse for what promises to be an evening of good cheer and even better music. Moore, who has been playing acoustic Holiday shows like this in Austin and elsewhere for years, has developed quite a knack for making the cliche novel again, for making the hokey heartfelt, and for imbuing seasonal classics with the same humor, musical depth, and liveliness that is a hallmark of everything he does. In short: this is the best hipster holiday party in town this weekend. $10-$15, 9:00pm, 502 Bar, 502 Embassy Oaks, (210) 2578125, 502bar.com. — James Courtney WED

7

MAYE MARLEY PHOTOGRAPHY

IAN MOORE Metalachi is a name that really flows off the tongue.

Hailing from California via Chihuahua, the group combines the disparate worlds of Spinal Tap and Cheech and Chong into a strange hybrid of star-crossed genres.

Since departing the fluorescent stage of America’s Got Talent, Metalachi has built

AMELIA WHELAN VIA CREATIVE COMMONS

THU

8

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ORDINARY ELEPHANT

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a sprawling fanbase with famous followers ranging from Howard Stern to the thrashing gods of Slayer. So, listeners torn between a simultaneous craving for metal and mariachi, rest assured—there’s no reason to be indecisive anymore. Metalachi has all of the bases covered. 10pm, $1520, The Rock Box, 1223 E. Houston — Abby Mangel

With a vocal duo nomination from the 2014 Texas Music Awards and a new album set to release this coming January, “nomadic/folk” duo Ordinary Elephant are claw-hammering at our rusty banjo heart strings. Married couple Crystal and Pete Damore’s music, while remaining relatively straightforward and simple, invites us to commune with the part of our spirit that thirsts for nostalgia. Crooning vocal harmonies weave through banjo and acoustic guitar progressions reminding us that perhaps a complicated life isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. With several dates scheduled for Texas, Louisiana and Missouri, Ordinary Elephant are sure to deliver a heartfelt performance. With Michael Waid, 7pm, $10, High Wire, 326 W Josephine —Chris Conde THU

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CURRENT • December 7-13, 2016 • sacurrent.com

WE LEAVE AT MIDNIGHT Indie rock can be boring as fuck, honestly. Like we get it, you listened to Sufjan Stevens and Grizzly Bear and now you want to start a band, cooooooool... Thankfully, there are bands (actually a lot of local San Antonio Bands) that are rescuing us from being asphyxiated by the monotony of this genre. If you’ve been paying attention to the flowering music scene of San Antonio then you’ve probably heard of We Leave At Midnight, a five piece outfit that breathes life into the dying soul of indie music. Bathing the listener with cheerfully refreshing harmonies, masterfully layered instrumentation and songwriting reminiscent of “Pet Sounds” We Leave at Midnight champions a new age of clever indie rock music in San Antonio. Catch them at Limelight for the premiere of their new album entitled The Holy Rolling Flower Band releasing on Texas is Funny Records.

With Demitasse, Slomo Drags, 9pm, $5$8, Limelight, 2718 N. St. Mary’s — CC FRI

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SWIMMING WITH BEARS Combing the good times from even the darkest days, Swimming with Bears are an optimistic outfit that’s brimming with indie ambition. Inching out of Austin’s sprawl, the rock band managed to recruit Blue October’s Matt Noveskey two years ago to produce their first album, which they appropriately titled Paws. Shifting moods between the playfulness of Two Door Cinema Club and the twangy tendencies of Mumford and Sons, Swimming with Bears harbors the promise of mainstream success on many fronts. The album’s lead single “Shiver and Crawl” prances to an infectious beat that recalls the Heavy’s “How You Like Me Now.” (Remember that throbbing one hit wonder that scored a popular Kia Sorrento commercial back in 2009?) Exuberant and sincere, Swimming with Bears stand on the brink of something great. 8pm, Free, Paper Tiger, 2124 N. Saint Mary’s — AM FRI

9

“No genre! No rules!” seems to be the official motto of Whatever?, a motley gang of rockers that first materialized in a messy garage somewhere in San Antonio. A punky project dappled with catchy pop hooks, it’s clear that Whatever? doesn’t take itself too seriously. The band brandishes nonsensical track listings on their latest album, Bummerland, that include titles like “Fool Metal Jackit” and “Suburban Flunk.” Wrapped in complete esotericism, Whatever? proves that even if punk is dead, absurdity is still going strong.

Whatever? shares the stage with the autumnal rockers of Summer Moon and the shrewd songwriters of Berlin Dream. 9pm, $5, Ventura SATX, 1011 Ave. B — AM FRI

10

DOC WATKINS It’s that time again folks. Whether you are a holiday music hater or a unapologetic lover of yuletide tunes, the music of the season is already hard to escape, as it will be for the next few weeks. For its first holiday season in existence, The Pearl’s upscale venue/bar/eatery Jazz, TX is hosting a series of holiday concerts, featuring performances from proprietor and noted musician/ bandleader Doc Watkins. Billed as a Big Band Christmas, the series (the first installments of which will occur this weekend) will center on the FRI-SAT

S

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UPON A BURNING BODY

special performances by the acclaimed Watkins and band. If, however, you count yourself among the ranks of the Xmas music detesters, there’s still dang good reason to get yourself to Jazz, TX: the kitchen and the bar are whipping up some singular eats and alcoholic treats for the shows.

For our money, the Alderman Cocktail, an updated, seasonal take on the old fashioned—made with bourbon, winter melon bitters, burnt orange oleo syrup, dark cherry, thyme—is reason enough to be there. $20.00, 8:30pm-11:30pm, Jazz, TX, 312 Pearl Pkwy, Building 6, Ste 6001, jazztx.com. — JC

¡Arriba, abajo, al centro, pa’ dentro!

Hometown heroes Upon a Burning Body are back to fuck shit up, bro. Building a huge regional following in the early 2000’s and becoming notorious for their rowdy af shows, the well dressed FRI

26

GREG GABRISCH

WHATEVER?

SAT

metalcore men secured a spot on Sumerian Records propelling the band into the national and international spotlight. On tour in support of their new album Straight From The Barrio (which reps the fuck out of San Antonio) the boys are in town at The Paper Tiger

for Twin Productions’ Holiday Party featuring a slew of metal bands in very early 2000’s White Rabbit fashion.

If you’re trying to relive the good ol’ days of San Antonio hardcore, this is most certainly your chance. 5pm, $10, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s — CC

THE ROTTEN MANGOS Not to be mistaken for the Moldy Peaches (the folky freaks behind Juno’s soundtrack), the Rotten Mangos emerged from the southern tip of Texas in the Rio Grande Valley. Like most psychedelic acts, the eclectic band flashes a defiant middle finger to the concept of genre, but the essential elements of psychedelic rock all show up to play in their recent releases – there are prominent drums and shambling vocals coupled with hazy wavelengths of electric guitar à la the Black Angels. Their most recent single, “It Must Be in the Air,” summons subtropical atmosphere. Saturated with reverberation, the Rotten Mangos feel like a listless romp through Kubla Khan’s sunny pleasure domes. They’re positively poetic. 9pm, $7, K23, 704 Fredericksburg Rd. — AM FRI

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sacurrent.com • December 7-13, 2016 • CURRENT 41

MUSIC

MUSIC CALENDAR WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 7 Acoustic Show La Hacienda de los Barrios hosts acoustic live music on Wednesday evenings. Free. La Hacienda De Los Barrios, 6-9pm

930 Broadway San Antonio Texas 78215

Conspirare Christmas with Matt Alber Grammy-winning Conspirare delivers world-class vocal artistry. Collaborating is Matt Alber and Thomas Burritt. $10$65. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30-9:15pm Hard Candy Christmas Show Sam’s Burger Joint presents the Hard Candy Christmas Show featuring country artists Sunny Sweeney, Brennen Leigh, Courtney Patton, and Jamie Lin Wilson. $10-$45.

Sam’s Burger Joint, 9pm Ian Moore Acoustic Christmas Tour Singer/songwriter Ian Moore’s acoustic Christmas tour with local folk pop duo Demitasse (Erik Sanden and Joe Reyes of Buttercup). $10-$15. 502 Bar, 8-11pm

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 9 3 Bad Jacks 3 Bad Jacks play the Mix. Free. The Mix, 10pm AJ Hobbs’ New Album ‘Too Much is Never Enough’ AJ Hobbs makes country “outlaw soul” music, bringing together country, R&B, and gospel. $5. The Cove, 8-11pm Battlecross Metal band Battlecross is joined by fellow metal-rockers Allegaeon and Necromancing the Stone. $13-$15.

The Korova, 7pm Billy Joel With awards and honors from the Grammys, Tonys, Kennedy Center, and Library of Congress, the legendary Billy Joel will perform in San Antonio for the first time in 7 years. $49.50-$124.50.

AT&T Center, 8pm Boca Abajo Austin-based Rock en Espanol Free. The Amp Room, 9pm The Canvas People Indie rock outfit the Canvas People play The Phoenix Saloon.

Free. The Phoenix Saloon, 9pm

Quince Wednesdays DJs Riff leEffect and Isaac_TX team up for “the best damn dance party you’ve been to since you were 15.” Free. Hi-Tones, 10pm

Decimate CD Release Decimate releases their first EP, and are joined by Refugee, Aurorean, The Valley, Ammo for my Arsenal, and Throne of the Beheaded. $5.

Zombies, 9:30pm

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 8 Blessed Blessed plays with Vancouver’s Mikey and His Shame. $5. Limelight, 9pm-midnight The Deer Austin’s The Deer present their otherworldly folk tunes. Formerly known as Grace Park & the Deer. Joined by locals The Foreign Arm. $7. Paper Tiger, 8pm Femina-X and Arte y Pasión Concert Femina-X and Arte y Pasión, in conjunction with Brick at Blue Star, with support by the Artist Foundation of San Antonio and the Department of Cultural and Creative Development, present a Multimedia Concert Series. $10-$20. Brick, 8-10pm Metal Empire Night Featuring live rock and metal music by Konvxtion, Final Exit, Raven Outlaw, and Smoking Gunz. $5.

Fitzgerald’s Bar & Live Music, 9:30pm Roy Woods Scoremore Shows presents Canadian rapper Roy Woods. $20. Alamo City Music Hall & Club, 8:30pm CURRENT • December 7-13, 2016 • sacurrent.com

Ted Russell Kamp Americana/Country artist Ted Russell Kamp is joined by special guest AJ Hobbs. Free. Gruene Hall, 6-10pm

Natalie Rose Country artist Natalie Rose brings an acoustic set to the Phoenix Saloon. Free. The Phoenix Saloon, 8:30pm

Shimmy System of a Down Tribute. Free.

The Amp Room, 10pm

42

Satisfaction - The International Rolling Stones Show Satisfaction is the international touring tribute show dedicated to the Rolling Stones. $10-$40.

Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm

Dianne Reeves: Christmas Time is Here Jazz vocalist Dianne Reeves has received five Grammy Awards for Best Jazz Vocal Album and an honorary doctorate of music from Julliard. Reeves will focus on selections from her album, Christmas Time Is Here. $35. Carver Community Cultural Center, 8pm Dismal Dream Rockers Dismal Dream are joined by hardcore bands Swing Low, Lesser Degree, and Blackhand at this all ages event. $6-$8. The Korova, 7pm Jazz, TX Presents Doc Watkins and his Orchestra: A Christmas Big Band Show The Pearl’s newest music venue, Jazz, TX, announces a Christmas big band show featuring venue owner and musician Doc Watkins accompanied by his orchestra. $20. Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30pm Joe Ely Joe Ely is a singer/songwriter who plays a hybrid of rock, honky-tonk and Texas country. $20-$90. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm The Lavens The Lavens are a family band playing a mixture of original Americana

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MUSIC

and blues material and classic covers.

Free. The Cove, 6:30-8:30pm Mallett Brothers Alt-country/rock band The Mallet Brothers are based out of Maine. Their most recent work “Lights Along the River” was released in 2015. $5.

502 Bar, 9pm Rockin at Bonds Featuring Wax Panel, Relic 44, Secret Silent, Valyrian and Out Of Heaven Free. Bond’s 007 Rock Bar, 8pm Scott Stapp AM5 Live! presents Scott Stapp (Creed, Art of Anarchy) with Las Vegas’s hard-rock band Adelita’s Way. $23-$26.

Alamo City Music Hall & Club, 8pm

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 10 1313 A goth, post punk, and deathrock show with Ely Bat, Detra and live music by the Sick City Daggers. The event will also feature art vendors. Free. The Amp Room, 9 pm A Baltic Christmas Christmas and solstice music of Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia, at the Immaculate Conception Chapel. $15$25. Oblate School of Theology, 7:30pm Children of Bodom The Noise presents Finnish metal band Children of Bodom on their Worship Chaos Tour. Joining will be black metal bands ABBATH, Exmortus, and Oni. $26. Aztec Theatre, 7:30pm Ground Metal Show Michael Tovars Annual Metal Birthday Show with Deaths Embrace, Las Cruces, Deadpool, Final Exit and Screaming In Silence. Freefor minors.

Free. Bond’s 007 Rock Bar, 8pm Jazz, TX Presents Doc Watkins and his Orchestra: A Christmas Big Band Show The Pearl’s newest upscale music venue, Jazz, TX, announces a Christmas big band show featuring venue owner and musician Doc Watkins accompanied by his orchestra. $20. Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30pm Jeff Jacobs Band The Jeff Jacobs Band is a country/Americana band. Free. The Cove, 6:30-8:30pm Los #3 Dinners Los #3 Dinners perform original songs about living and loving in the Alamo Town. Free. The Cove, 9pm Noche Azul: Cumbia Join Esperanza Peace and Justice Center’s for their monthly Noche Azul concert series on December 10, 2016 at 8 PM. This month’s theme is Cumbias. Doors open at 7:15 PM. Tickets are $7 at the door but any more donations are appreciated.

Seating is first-come first-served.

Concessions will be available for purchase.

Parking is available at San Antonio College in lots 21, 28, 29. $7. Esperanza Peace & Justice Center, 8-10:30pm Randy Rogers Band Popular country band Randy Rogers band bring their grit, heart and swagger to Cowboys Dancehall. $20-

$40. Cowboys Dancehall, 7pm Twin Holiday Party Twin Productions presents Twin Holiday Party w/ Upon A Burning Body. Also on the bill are Covina, Memories in Broken Glass, Just a Dream, and more. $10. Paper Tiger, 5pm Winter Hell II This all ages event features metal bands Divine Eve, HOD, Hegemony, Funeral Ash, and more. $15-$20. The Korova, 7pm

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 11 Chingadera Sundays DJ Aaron Iruegas (aka Heavensentpapi) spins cumbia y más every Sunday at Hi-Tones. Free. Hi-Tones, 9pm Cody Coggins Duo Cody Coggins duo performs country music at the Cove. Free.

The Cove, 1-3pm Holiday Reggae Brunch This a la carte brunch is part of a two-day event, “Under the Mistletoe Artisan Market”. On this day, Southtown Vinyl will pop up at Carmens de la Calle. Shoppers can visit the gallery or have sit down brunch at the cafe. Menu items will include savory jerk inspired empanadas, paella, flamenco eggs, sangria, mimosas and more. Carmens De La Calle Cafe, 11:30 a.m.-3:30pm Luckey & Ray Luckey & Ray perform surf/rock/blues at the Cove. Free. The Cove, 7-9pm Nag Champa Free. Limelight, 9 p.m.

R.L. Hayden CD Release Country singer R.L. Hayden releases his new CD at the Phoenix Saloon. Free. The Phoenix Saloon, 2pm

MONDAY, DECEMBER 12 Bret Graham Country artist Bret Graham comes to Gruene Hall. Free. Gruene Hall, 6-10pm Swing Nite with Huck Johnson & The Jackknives Austin’s Huck Johnson and the Jackknives play swinging Texas blues, and are currently touring in support of their first studio recording: “Mason Jar Martini.” $10. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8:30pm

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 13 Adam Carroll and Friends Singer/ songwriter Adam Carroll and Friends comes to Gruene Hall. Free. Gruene Hall, 6-10pm Sonata Arctica AM5 Live! presents Finnish power metal band Sonata Arctica, with German-Norwegian symphonic metal band Leaves’ Eyes and Finnish melodic deathmetal band Omnium Gatherum. $26-$66.

Alamo City Music Hall & Club, 8pm Wade Bowen Acoustic Show Wade Bowen plays an acoustic show, joined by Austin Meade. $20-$80. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm

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HUSBANDRY

SAVAGE LOVE

by Dan Savage

> I’m a 44-year-old married gay male. I recently found out my 30-year-old husband has been sending dick pics to randoms on Grindr. He says he doesn’t remember who he sent pics to, or why, other than I was working late and he was drunk and pissed at me.

I want to be mature about this, but I’m really hurt. We’ve been together more than four years and married six months. We have a closed, monogamous relationship. He says he’s been faithful, and I believe him.

I’m struggling to trust him, however.

Am I overreacting?

Help Understanding Relationship Trauma Which would you rather have, HURT: This particular husband (aka the man you married) or a husband (a generic husband) who wouldn’t, couldn’t, and didn’t send dick pics to randoms on Grindr? Given a choice between a perfect, flawless, blameless but imaginary husband and the imperfect, flawed, living, breathing husband you’ve got, which would you pick?

Personally, I recommend choosing actual-and-flawed husbands over perfect-and-imaginary ones. (I’m not telling you to do anything I haven’t done and that my own husband hasn’t done.)

With that said, HURT, and hopefully with that choice made, your husband needs to drop the “I was mad at you for working late” bullshit and take responsibility for his actions. Drunk may have played a role, as booze is the great disinhibitor, but swapping dick pics

isn’t something reasonable dick-having people do in response to run-of-themill annoyances. Your husband sent those pics because he enjoys showing off the goods. Your husband has an exhibitionistic streak.

So what to do about it? You could forbid it, HURT, but creating a little space in our marriages for pleasures we may not share or fully understand — making accommodations instead of issuing threats — can make our marriages stronger, not weaker, less contentious and therefore less brittle.

If swapping pics makes your husband feel desirable, and he plows that sexual energy into you… not only aren’t you being betrayed, you’re benefiting.

If I were you, HURT, I would grant him this small zone of erotic autonomy. > I’m a Canadian gay man, married 8 years to a man with a thing for men spitting in his face. It’s a degradation thing (of course), and I would do it for him but it can’t be me. It can’t be someone he loves, someone who loves him, it has to be someone he doesn’t know, someone who regards him with contempt. He finds guys to do this for him on the hookup apps, and I don’t have a problem with it. I do have a problem leaning in for a kiss when his face reeks of some other man’s spit. He likes the “lingering scent” — I do not. He says I’m kinkshaming him when I recoil and ask him to go wash his face. He’s agreed to abide by your ruling, Dan. Should he wash his damn face?

Smelling Patooey Irks This Spouse You’ve accommodated your husband’s kink. He needs to return the favor and accommodate your nose. He should wash his damn face — and get his damn flu shot.

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SPEAKING OF HUMP!: My porny film festival’s 2017 tour kicks off in January. For cities, info and tickets, go to humpfilmfest.com. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter sacurrent.com • December 7-13, 2016 • CURRENT 47

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48 CURRENT • December 7-13, 2016 • sacurrent.com

1 Sushi fish also called yellowtail 4 Amount a cab driver gives to you 8 “___ O’Riley” (“CSI: Miami” theme song) 12 Participated in racewalking 13 Like a serrano pepper, compared to a poblano 15 Olmert who preceded Ariel Sharon as Prime Minister of Israel 16 Mitsubishi off-road three-wheeler, for example 17 Exact quote from Gordon Gekko in “Wall Street” 19 Catchphrase spoken verbatim on the original “Star Trek” series 21 “La ___ Bonita” (U.S. #1 hit for Madonna) 22 ___ & Literacy (brown category in Trivial Pursuit) 23 Army service call used

by Al Pacino in all of his movies (not just “Scent of a Woman”) 25 Used an old phrase 27 “Winnie-the-Pooh” marsupial parent 29 202.5 deg. on the compass 30 Conjunction that’s spelled with a backslash 31 “Better Call ___” (spin-off sequel to “Breaking Bad”) 33 Creatures proven to be found at Area 51, for short 34 Process scrupulously utilized by all news outlets (which I obviously didn’t do with a single clue in this puzzle) 38 Abbr. from the Latin for

“and many more” 41 Drink produced by the real-life brand Heisler 42 Nobel Peace ___ (award given in Stockholm) 46 Hundred Years’ ___ (which lasted less than 100 years) 47 Suffix meaning “doctrine” which is not a valid Scrabble word by itself 48 One of the original Three Musketeers, along with D’Artagnan 49 Beginning-of-term activities 51 Meat ___ (“Aqua Teen Hunger Force” character with three teeth) 53 RNs report to them 54 Famous Greta Garbo line from “Grand Hotel” 58 Idiom taken directly from Shakespeare’s “King John” 59 ___ Tin Tin (movie German shepherd originally played by a female) 60 Universal plasma donor’s blood type, for short 61 Shout of the recently incarcerated 62 Tic-___-Dough (pencil and paper game) 63 Shrek in the movie series, but not in the original William Steig book 64 Did 100 kph in a 70 mph zone, e.g.

65 Opposite direction from 29-Across

DOWN

1 Coffee bean that yields more caffeine than its counterpart

Answer on page 27

2 Venerates, slangily 3 Like an unexpired coupon 4 Flower, south of the Pyrenees 5 Bungling 6 Semillon and Riesling, for two 7 Speaker of the first line of the first episode of “South Park” 8 “Ain’t Too Proud, ___ Differ” (Temptations hit) 9 What an Australian weatherman may say “it’s gonna be” on an August day 10 Like boulders 11 Use the minus button 13 “Citizen Kane” studio 14 “___ the news today, oh no” (Beatles lyric) 18 Neighborhood in London’s East End 20 Time ___ the Year (selection made since the magazine’s inception) 24 “___ Like the Wind” (“Dirty Dancing” song) 26 Phanerozoic, for one 27 West-side tributary of the Rhine 28 Cheer for a pescador 31 Boat part furthest away from the bow 32 Card played last in a winning game of Klondike solitaire 35 “Santa Barbara” airer, once 36 Three-word EMT skill, for short 37 Jazz artist Diana who married Elvis Presley 38 Bo Sheep in “U.S. Acres,” for one 39 Airplane activity that takes place in the air 40 Night ___ (“X-Men” character aka Hank McCoy) 43 Toyotas and Subarus, in Japan 44 Flowers that repel hummingbirds 45 Sister magazine of Ebony 47 Lives and breathes 48 Singer of the “Spectre” theme song 50 Palmolive spokesperson played by three different actresses 51 Tom whose second novel was “The Bonfire of the Vanities” 52 “... It’s ___! It’s Superman!”

55 “Analyze ___” (2002 sequel) 56 Permanent worker 57 Negative vote 58 Nickelodeon’s trademark slime

ETC.

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): Normally I cheer you on when you devote singleminded attention to pressing concerns, even if you become a bit obsessive. But right now, in accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to run wild and free as you sample lavish variety.

It’s prime time to survey a spectrum of spicy, shiny, and feisty possibilities . . . to entertain a host of ticklish riddles rather than to insist on prosaic answers. You have been authorized by the cosmos to fabricate your own temporary religion of playing around and messing around and fooling around.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): Taurus poet Adrienne Rich described “an honorable human relationship” as “one in which two people have the right to use the word ‘love.’” How is that right earned? How is such a bond nurtured?

Rich said it was “often terrifying to both persons involved,” because it’s “a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.” I bring this to your attention, Taurus, because you’re in a favorable phase to become an even more honorable lover, friend, and ally than you already are. To take advantage of the opportunity, explore this question: How can you supercharge and purify your ability to speak and hear the truth?

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): In Goethe’s play Faust, the hero bemoans his lack of inner unity. Two different souls live within him, he says, and they don’t cooperate. Even worse, they each try to rule him without consulting the other. I’m guessing you’ve experienced a more manageable version of that split during the course of your life. Lately, though, it may have grown more intense and divisive. If that’s true, I think it’s a good sign. It portends the possibility that healing is in the works ... that energy is building for a novel synthesis. To help make it happen, identify and celebrate what your two sides have in common.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): The poet Dick Allen described Zen Buddhism as being “so filled with paradoxes that it jumps through hoops that aren’t even there.” I’m tempted to apply this description to the way you’ve been living your life recently. While I can see how it may have entertained you to engage in such glamorous intrigue, I’m hoping you will stop.

There is no longer anything to be gained by the complicated hocus-pocus. But it’s fine for you to jump through actual hoops if doing so yields concrete benefits.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): For decades, numerous self-help authors have claimed that humans use ten percent or less of their brain’s potential. But the truth is that our gray matter is far more active than that. The scientific evidence is now abundant. (See a summary here: tinyurl.

com/mindmyths.) I hope this helps spur you to destroy any limited assumptions you might have about your own brainpower, Leo. According to my astrological analysis, you could and should become significantly smarter in the next nine months — and wiser, too!

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): Born under the sign of Virgo, Mary Oliver is America’s best-selling poet. She wasn’t an overnight sensation, but she did win a Pulitzer Prize when she was 49. “What I loved in the beginning, I think, was mostly myself,” she confesses in one poem. “Never mind that I had to, since somebody had to. That was many years ago.” I bet that even at her current age of 81, Oliver is still refining and deepening her self-love. Neither she nor you will ever be finished with this grand and grueling project. Luckily for you both, now is a time when Virgos can and should make plucky progress in the ongoing work. (P.S.: And this is an essential practice if you want to keep refining and deepening your love for others.)

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): Most high-quality suits worn by men are made from the wool of merino sheep raised in Australia.

So says Nicholas Antongiavanni in his book The Suit: A Machiavellian Approach to Men’s Style.

There are now more than 100 million members of this breed, but they are all descendants of just two rams and four ewes from 18th-century Spain. How did that happen? It’s a long story.

(Read about it here: tinyurl.com/merinosheep.)

For the oracular purposes of this horoscope, I’ll simply say that in the next nine months you’ll also have the potential to germinate a few choice seeds that could ultimately yield enormous, enduring results. Choose well!

you’ve noticed that some people are unskilled at welcoming such glory; they prefer to keep their lives tidy and tiny. They may even get stressed out by their good fortune. I trust you’re not one of these fainthearted souls. I hope you will summon the grace you’ll need to make spirited use of the onslaught of magnificence.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19): In his book The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, John Koenig coins words to describe previously unnamed feelings. I suspect you may have experienced a few of them recently. One is “monachopsis,” defined as “the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.” Then there’s “altschmerz,” meaning “weariness with the same old issues you’ve always had.”

Another obscure sorrow you might recognize is “nodus tollens,” or “the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense anymore.” Now I’ll tell you two of Koenig’s more uplifting terms, which I bet you’ll feel as you claw your way free of the morass. First, there’s “liberosis”: caring less about unimportant things; relaxing your grip so you can hold your life loosely and playfully. Second, there’s “flashover,” that moment when conversations become “real and alive, which occurs when a spark of trust shorts

out the delicate circuits you keep insulated under layers of irony.”

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18): In 1983, two Australian blokes launched a quest to tip a drink at every pub in Melbourne. Thirty-two years later, Mick Stevens and Stuart MacArthur finally accomplished their goal when they sipped beers at The Clyde. It was the 476th establishment on their list. The coming weeks will be a highly favorable time to plan an epic adventure of your own, Aquarius. I hope and pray, though, that you will make it more sacred and meaningful than Stevens’ and MacArthur’s trivial mission.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): For three seasons of the year — spring, summer, and fall — a certain weasel species has brown fur.

During that time, it’s known as a stoat. When winter arrives, the creature’s coat turns to white. Its name changes, too. We call it an ermine. The next spring, it once again becomes a stoat. Given the nature of the astrological omens, Pisces, I think it would make poetic sense for you to borrow this strategy. What would you like your nickname to be during the next three months? Here are a few suggestions: Sweet Sorcerer; Secret Freedom-Seeker; Lost-and-Found Specialist; Mystery Maker; Resurrector.

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): Five of my Scorpio acquaintances and 17 of my Scorpio readers have let me know that they’re actively seeking to make new alliances and strengthen their existing alliances. Does this mean that Scorpios everywhere are engaged in similar quests? I hope so. I would love to see you expand your network of like-minded souls. I would love for you to be ardent about recruiting more help and support. Happily, the current astrological omens favor such efforts. Hot tip: For best results, be receptive, inviting, and forthright.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21): “The awesome splendor of the universe is much easier to deal with if you think of it as a series of small chunks,” wrote novelist Terry Pratchett.

That’s true enough, but I’ll add a caveat: Now and then the trickle of small chunks of awesome splendor gives way to a surge of really big chunks. According to my astrological analysis, that’s either already happening for you, or else is about to happen. Can you handle it? I’m sure

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Call 210-834-9214 for more information, or apply in person at 6243 IH-10 W, Suite 375 or online at www.lifespantx.com.

Now Hiring RNs & LVNs We offer Sign-On Bonuses $3K for full-time RNs | $1K for full-time LVNs

Join our team! We are dedicated to providing quality care!

Give us a call today at 210-798-0123, ext. 1910 Performing skilled care for adult patients in their home.

Communicating changes in patient condition to physician. or apply online at www.lifespantx.com.

Requirements Essential Tasks

THE NUTCRACKER

DEC 16 • 7:30PM | DEC 17 • 2PM & 7:30 | DEC 18 • 7:30P

LILA COCKRELL THEATRE

Current nursing licensure, valid TX driver’s license, auto insurance and CPR certification. Minimum of one year experience in a hospital or equivalent setting. Home health experience preferred but not required.

TRY WHAT EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT FOR FREE! SIGN UP FOR A FREE WEEK USE PROMO CODE: FREEWEEKCURRENT ENERGYXFITNESS.COM NEW MEMBERS ONLY. EXP 1/31/17)

5162 Broadway St. (210) 608-4241 50 CURRENT • December 7-13, 2016 • sacurrent.com

FUZZLAND PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS:

BURGER RECORDS HANGOVER FEST V SUN, MAR 19 • 1PM

PAPER TIGER

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ON LOCALCULTURETICKETS.COM and get FREE PROMOTION in the CURRENT CALL 210-388-0606 FOR MORE INFO

2nd Annual

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15 | 6 - 9 P.M. | QUARRY VILLAGE Join us for a free, family-friendly evening in the Quarry Village!

CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING | FOOD & DRINKS SAMPLE | LIVE CAROLERS HOLIDAY SALES & GIVEAWAYS | A PLAY ZONE FILLED WITH REAL SNOW

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5162 Broadway St. (210) 608-4241

Relieve the holiday stress JOIN US EVERY SATURDAY FOR

SIP & SHOP NOW - DEC 24 2PM-6PM (12/24 2PM-4PM)

Save the date: SAT, 12/17• 7-9P

DIVAS NIGHT OUT

San Antonio Current Publisher: Michael Wagner Editor in Chief: Michael Barajas Associate Publisher: Lara Fischer

Editorial

Senior Editors: Bryan Rindfuss, Jessica Elizarraras Interim Art Director: Sarah Flood-Baumann Food & Nightlife Editor: Jessica Elizarraras Staff Writer: Alex Zielinski Digital Content Editor: Alejandra Lopez Contributors: Alexis Barnhart, Ron Bechtol, Karah Carmack, Erik Casarez, James Courtney, Callie Enlow, Jade Esteban Estrada, Dan R. Goddard, Lance Higdon, Steve Jansen, Steven G. Kellman, Michelle C. Lorentzen, Abby Mangel, Kiko Martínez, Jeremy Martin, Jeff Meyers, Eric Moreno, Ben Olivo, M. Solis, Mark Stenberg, Gary Sweeney, Shannon Sweet, J.D. Swerzenski, Erin Winch Editorial Interns: Patricia Valdez, Rachel Cooley

Advertising

Sales Manager: Chelsea Bourque Account Manager: Ashley McLean Senior Multimedia Account Executive: Carlos Aguirre Jr., Gerry Martinez Multimedia Account Executives: Sarah Estrada, Hannah Hartnett, Jenavie Aguilar

Marketing and Events

Marketing and Events Director: Cassandra Yardeni Promotions and Events Manager: Mary Gonzales Marketing Intern: Brianna Mendez

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Business

Operations Manager: Sarah Estrada

Circulation

Circulation Manager: Richard Garcia

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Chief Executive Officer: Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers: Chris Keating, Michael Wagner Human Resources Director: Lisa Beilstein Digital Operations Coordinator: Jaime Monzon Senior Marketing and Events Director: Cassandra Yardeni www.euclidmediagroup.com National Advertising: Voice Media Group 1-888-278-9866, voicemediagroup.com San Antonio Current 915 Dallas San Antonio, Texas 78215 sacurrent.com Editorial - (210) 227-0044 / Fax - (210) 227-7755 Display Advertising - (210) 227-0044 Fax - (210) 227-7733 Classified - (210) 227-CLAS / Fax - (210) 227-7733 The San Antonio Current is published by Euclid Media Group Verified Audit Member San Antonio Distribution – The Current is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader.

Get listed 1. Visit sacurrent.com 2. Click “Calendar” and then “Submit an Event” 3. Follow the steps to submit your event details Please allow 48 hours for review and approval.

Event submissions are not accepted by phone.

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6 CURRENT • December 7-13, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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