Task prompt:
Read the two texts below.
Write an essay summarising and evaluating the key points from both texts. Use your own words throughout as far as possible and include your own ideas in your answer. Write your answer in 240 - 280 words on the separate answer sheet.
Reading novels
Reading fiction requires an investment of time and energy that many people are no longer prepared to make in an age of TV on demand, social media, video games and other digital distractions which offer instant visible rewards, such as 'likes' for a post. Proponents of reading for pleasure argue that novels fulfil an important human need to explore different aspects of the human condition, which amply repays the reader's investment of time and energy. They believe that the real reward of reading lies in giving readers this valuable opportunity to tap into the emotional experiences of fictional characters.
Reading on social media
One of the common features of many social media platforms is the opportunity they offer us to read about the highs and lows of other people's lives, to learn from each other's experiences, and to know that we are not alone in difficult times. For most of us, though, it is impossible to accurately reflect the 'precious parts' of ourselves in writing and express who we really are online. This tends to result in a disparity between our 'inner selves' and the outer representations of ourselves that other people read and respond to on social media platforms.
Write your essay.
/teacher
Transcribed/Student Production:
Assessment
Nowadays, the entertainment industry has two categories, digital and non-digital. These two things have some under-categories, like social media for the digital factor and novels for the non-digital part. So, with the information that has been given above, it would be logical to conclude that there are different types of people and they all choose reading on social media or physical books.
Reading on social media allows someone to dive into someone else's life, to see his/her upsand-downs and discover interesting facts in general. But what if it all wasn't real at all? What if the person that set up the account people look at every day is quite different in real life?
This phenomenon is something really usual in the virtual world. People are scared and lack self-confidence, so they show a fake, an imagination of what their life could be or what they want it to be. This leads to a disparity between their real selves and the fake representation of their lives.
In contrast, the exact opposite of reading on social media is reading a book. Although it is far more time consuming than reading a post that is five lines long, people still are willing to read 500 pages of a fantasy novel because of the plot. They give the reader the ability to fulfil the need of exploring different human personalities.
To sum up everything that has been stated above, different kinds of people prefer different kinds of entertainment that fulfil their needs, whether that be online or in person.
Word count: 255 words
Assessment based on Cambridge English – CEFR C2 Criteria
Content: Band 4
The essay addresses the task well, summarising the key points from both texts about reading novels and social media. It explains the contrast between the two types of reading and includes the idea of emotional engagement with novels and the disparity between real and online selves on social media.
The conclusion summarises the main idea effectively. However, some points could be developed more fully, such as the benefits of novels beyond plot and the emotional depth, and the social media text's emphasis on learning from others' experiences is less clearly reflected. Overall, the target reader is well informed but some minor omissions and slight underdevelopment prevent a top band.
Communicative Achievement: Band 4
The essay uses the conventions of an academic essay appropriately, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The tone is generally formal and suitable for the task. The writer communicates complex ideas effectively and holds the reader’s attention, though some phrasing is slightly informal or repetitive.
The essay fulfils the communicative purpose well but lacks the full sophistication and convincing style of the highest band.
Organisation: Band 4
The text is well organised with clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as linking words ("although," "in contrast," "to sum up") are used effectively. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited and some transitions could be smoother.
The organisation supports clarity and coherence but does not demonstrate the full flexibility and variety expected at Band 5.
Language: Band 3
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, including less common lexis such as "disparity," "phenomenon," and "fulfil." Grammar is generally controlled with a mix of simple and complex structures. There are some minor errors and awkward phrases ("the digital factor," "an imagination of what their life could be") and occasional repetition.
The language is effective but lacks the full precision, fluency, and sophistication of the highest bands.
Total score: 15/20
Action Plan: What to Improve Next
● Develop key ideas more fully, especially the emotional and intellectual benefits of novels and the social learning aspect of social media reading.
● Use a wider range of cohesive devices and vary transitions to improve flow and coherence.
● Work on refining vocabulary and phrasing to avoid awkward or imprecise expressions.
● Aim for a more consistently formal and polished academic tone.
● Practice using more complex grammatical structures with full control and naturalness.
Errors Table
Error Type
Assessment
Grammar "the digital factor" "the digital category" "Factor" is less appropriate here; "category" fits better to describe types of entertainment.
Grammar "an imagination of what their life could be" "an imagined version of what their life could be" "Imagination" is a noun; "imagined version" is clearer and more idiomatic here.
Word choice "people still are willing to read 500 pages" "people are still willing to read 500 pages"
Word choice "fulfil the need of exploring different human personalities" "fulfil the need to explore different human personalities"
Punctuation
More natural word order in English.
Correct preposition and verb form.
Missing comma after "In contrast" "In contrast, the exact opposite..." Introductory phrase should be followed by a comma.
Style "So, with the information that has been given above" "Given the information above" More concise and formal phrasing.
Grammar
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, including relative clauses ("the person that set up the account"), conditionals ("what if it all wasn't real"), and passive forms ("has been given"). To improve, the student could incorporate more varied complex structures such as inversion for emphasis, nominalisation, and more sophisticated subordination. Also, more precise use of prepositions and article usage would enhance grammatical control.
Suggestions
● Expand on key ideas with examples or explanations to deepen evaluation.
● Use a wider variety of linking phrases (e.g., "moreover," "nevertheless," "consequently") to improve cohesion.
● Review common collocations and idiomatic expressions to improve naturalness.
● Practice writing with a formal academic style, avoiding conversational phrases.
● Focus on sentence variety and complex grammatical forms for greater sophistication.
Improved Writing (excerpt)
Nowadays, the entertainment industry can be divided into two main categories: digital and non-digital. These include social media as part of the digital realm and novels within the nondigital sphere. Given the information above, it is logical to conclude that different types of people prefer either reading on social media or physical books.
Reading on social media enables individuals to delve into others' lives, observing their ups and downs and discovering interesting facts. However, this portrayal may not always be accurate, as many users present an imagined version of their lives due to fear and lack of selfconfidence. This results in a disparity between their true selves and the online representations.
In contrast, reading novels, although far more time-consuming than scrolling through brief posts, offers readers the opportunity to explore diverse human personalities and emotions in depth.
To sum up, various kinds of people seek different forms of entertainment that fulfil their needs, whether online or offline.
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