Estrella Publishing - It’s A Grand Life magazine
May 2018
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Estrella Publishing - It’s A Grand Life magazine
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From Me To You... Welcome! to the May edition of It’s A Grand Life magazine. I am dedicating this issue to all the mothers I know, all the mothers I have not yet met, and all the mothers I wish I could meet again. May is the month where we think of flowers and sunshine and Mothers’ Day. A holiday that honors the women who try to put their children first, even when it seems too much. Because motherhood is hard. It is painful. It is lonely. It is isolating. It also brings the most unimaginable love and connection. A sense that you will move mountains for this tiny creature that has been placed into your arms. A desire to do better, to be better. I remember the morning after I brought my first child home. I woke with a heart full of happiness and love. And a creeping dread. A sense of hopelessness and futility. Who decided that I could be responsible for a human being? Who decided that I knew enough to keep her alive? Where was the manual? They sell you a car with reams of paperwork on how to do everything to keep this machine running. A baby? Nothing. Then there was the feeling of being trapped inside a prison of my own making. I wanted this child. I carried this child. I made this child. And now I am stuck with her. My husband got to keep being himself. He got to go to work and leave the house and the never ending piles of laundry. I was forever chained to this tiny being who relied on me for everything. No matter how much you prepare for the life of a parent, this is what hit me the most. My life was no longer my own.
the age of the internet it is easier to find groups to talk to but I got the best support and help from a group I met in person.
I had moved to a new town with my two children and husband in tow. We were adults now. We had jobs and a mortgage and reliable cars with car seats. But it was lonely. I found an ad in a local paper for an open house at ‘The Mothers’ Center’. The decision to go was one of those moments people talk about. The moment I found my people. The Mothers’ Center was a community of women supporting each other. We had discussion groups where members were free to tell our lives to and learn from each other. With no recriminations, no judgement, only truth and support. There were rules, of course. Do not judge. Speak from the I. Do not tell others what was divulged in this place. Simple requests, but ones that allowed us to be free and cared for. On this Mothers Day I encourage all of you to reach out to a mother you know. Offer her support, friendship, a non-judgemental ear. Perhaps even offer to help with the laundry.
Catherine Uretsky
Editor, It’s A Grand Life Magazine info@estrellapublishing.com 623.594.9283
If you are lucky you have family around to help and guide you. Groups of mothers to join and talk to. Someone to let you know you are not alone. That other mothers feel this way too. That it is OK to founder. If you don’t have that then find it! In 4 Estrella Publishing - It’s A Grand Life magazine
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Published by Estrella Publishing LLC, PO Box 6962, Goodyear AZ 85338. Additional copies and article reproductions can be obtained for a fee by contacting info@EstrellaPublishing.com Catherine Uretsky, Publisher and Editor 623.594.9283 info@EstrellaPublishing.com Al Uretsky, Publisher and Sales Executive 623.594.9283 info@EstrellaPublishing.com All contents Š 2010-present day Estrella Publishing LLC. All Rights Reserved. Reproduction in any form, in whole or part, without written permission from Estrella Publishing LLC is prohibited. Estrella Publishing accepts freelance contributions, there is no guarantee that materials will be used or returned. Some content is provided by Brandpointe. Estrella Publishing is not responsible for the views of contributing writers and assumes no responsibility for errors appearing within. Opinions expressed are those of the writers and not necessarily those of the Publisher or Advertisers. Estrella Publishing reserves the right to restrict all advertisement to their proper classification and to edit or reject any copy at its sole discretion.
TALKING STICK RESORT ARENA
MAY 29
Neither this publication nor Estrella Publishing is an agent of or in any way affiliated with the associated Developer nor Homeowners Association, or any of their respective affiliates. This publication has not been approved by, sponsored by, or endorsed by the associated Developer nor Homeowners Association in any way.
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Estrella Publishing - It’s A Grand Life magazine
May 2018
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Peace On Earth
Life would be so much easier if there were no ‘forks in the road!’ Every time we turn around there are more decisions to make. What career, what kind of car, where to live, who to marry, and when to retire. We also have decisions about our faith choices, our aging parents, about the ethics of our work places and if we can abide them.
Getting input from others can help. At least, it is helpful if we look to those who will be honest with us. It is not beneficial to go only to those who will agree with us. Find people you can trust and who will help you see different positions.Take the time to read up on different products or companies and learn all you can before making your choice. Get references for those with whom you are considering a personal or business relationship. There is a very important, often overlooked, approach to decision making - prayer. Some think prayer is only for severe illness or dire relationship issues. I believe many situations would not escalate to such seriousness if we turned to prayer first. Scripture reads, “I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people.” (I Timothy 2:1)
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Don’t miss the gift of praying for your own circumstances, decisions and challenges and for those of others. God is interested in the outcome. God loves you and wants to help you live into your very best. However, as a friend once said, “God is a gentleman.” God doesn’t force us to follow his path. God plants suggestions and nudges us but waits for us to choose. When we choose God, we discover that God is ready to help guide us into our best choice. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:56) Notice, God gives direction. You still retain choice, free will. You can follow, or you can reject God’s leading. You are not a puppet! How will you know God’s answer? God ‘speaks’ through many avenues. God might speak to you through your church, the words of a friend, through circumstances, or music. God most often speaks through his teaching in the Bible. Be open to receive God’s guidance and you’ll learn to recognize his prompting. May God lead you through the ‘forks in the road’ you encounter! Submitted by Valerie Fairchild, pastor of Spirit Song church in Vistancia
May 2018
Spring Cleaning Whether it’s scrubbing through grime to reveal a sparkling surface, cleaning dust bunnies from under appliances or organizing your pantry, there’s something oddly satisfying about a deep clean. To reach that spring cleaning joy, try some of these not-so-obvious cleaning jobs that will transform the look and feel of your space into a springtime sanctuary.
Grout: Over time, mold and mildew buildup can make your bathroom grout look dingy, but with the right approach, the grout stains will disappear. Start by wetting the tile with a cloth. Then, dip a sponge into a gallon bucket of water with 3/4 cup of bleach and wipe down the tile. Wait five minutes for disinfecting, rinse and viola! Your tiles will shine, offset by the clean lines of white grout. Microwave: We don’t like to think about it, but a lot of hard-to-remove food residue accumulates in our microwaves and we rarely spend the time to give it a thorough clean. Microwave a cup of water and in five minutes the steam will help loosen the stains.
Estrella Publishing - It’s A Grand Life magazine
Dust: In addition to moving aside the beds, appliances and other heavy pieces of furniture to get those dust bunnies, make sure you’re tackling the not-so-obvious places. Use the vacuum’s brush attachment to clear your HVAC register vents and don’t forget to dust the tops of fan blades! Windows: Those panes have taken quite a beating over the months. It’s time to get a soft sponge and a bucket of warm, soapy water to defeat the smudges and layers of dirt, and then wipe them clean with a squeegee. You’ll love how sparkling clean glass transforms the room. Outdoor surfaces: Rent or borrow a pressure washer, and once it’s set up, you can enjoy watching the blast of water and degreaser effortlessly turn your concrete walkways and driveway into bright clean surfaces - like a magic wand. To easily remove the mold and mildew off your deck and patio furniture, add 3/4 cup of bleach to a gallon of water and swipe away the stains from seasons past. Try these tips and enjoy basking in the satisfaction of a deep-cleaned house.
May 2018
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Biz Checkup
When tax season rolls around, you’re already taking a deep dive into your expenses and income for the past year. With all that information at your fingertips, it’s a great opportunity to take a big-picture look at the health of your business and make sure it’s running as efficiently as possible. Use the following tips to boost your cash flow in the upcoming year. Dust off your business plan: Most entrepreneurs get busy with the day-to-day pressures of deadlines, and that vision can recede into the background. Now that you understand the realities of your market, you should have plenty of ideas on creating the 2.0 version of your enterprise. When finished, it’s important to not allow it to gather dust again. Update your budget: The nature of entrepreneurship is being agile in the face of change. Market trends, price changes from vendors and suppliers, and effects of new laws are variable forces that can send anyone’s budget into a new direction. If you stay on top
of it, you can spot the trends early and make adjustments right away or head off problems before they become unmanageable. Create a tax strategy: The tax break Congress passed in December will save small business owners 20 percent on their tax bill this year. In the coming year, small business owners have many opportunities to capture more tax savings with the right plan and strategy. Have a meeting with your accountant to discover more ideas. Improve accounts receivable: If your business extends lines of credit to your customers, it may be worthwhile to implement a credit check policy on all new customers. Knowing they’re creditworthy before the fact can help you create the appropriate plan for them and protect your business. In the end, you’ll get paid faster and increase cash flow. The life of an entrepreneur means things can change drastically on a dime. A thorough checkin with your finances can put you in the best position for success.
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Estrella Publishing - It’s A Grand Life magazine
May 2018
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Freelance?
From millennials who have been grinding away in the workplace for a few years to Gen Xers looking to move out of their cube, many have been intrigued by the possibility of freelancing. Unlike a traditional job freelancing requires a few essential tricks and tools to succeed. Homeworking experts cite four important tips to help you succeed at the freelance game. 1. Manage your time. One of the best parts, and the most challenging parts, of freelancing is that you get to make your own schedule. Many find that they need some sort of structure in their day, and for this reason it’s important to have the right time management software. This will notify you of calls, deadlines, track how long you work on a project and more. 2. Get the right laptop. A laptop is your office, your meeting room, your library, and so much more, making it one of the most essential freelancing tools. It’s the lifeline between your business and your clients, so it’s critical to be sure you have the right one.
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3. Use professional email and social media accounts. For all work-related correspondence and interactions, be sure to use a dedicated email account. This will make you appear more professional to prospective clients. You should also set up work-related social media accounts where you can post examples of work and professional insights and network. 4. Keep track of finances. For a lot of freelancers who are on the creative side of things, keeping track of finances can be a real challenge. Not only do you have to manage invoices, expenses and make sure you’re getting paid, you also have to keep taxes in mind. 5. Find the right space. While freelancing is largely a digital game you still need to find the right place to work. Some work in a coffee shop and others require a dedicated home office. You might work best in a shared office space. The point is, it’s vital to figure out where you do your best work. The right software, running on the right computer, and a place you can work are the cornerstones of a successful freelance gig. From there, all that’s needed is your talent and determination!
May 2018
Medicare Savings In a recent survey, 43 percent of newly retired people said they were spending more on health care than they planned. One of the primary reasons? An unintentionally misguided approach to choosing their Medicare coverage. To make the process of comparing their plan options easier, too often people focus largely on their monthly premiums. “Although it may seem like the obvious choice to select a plan with the cheapest monthly premium, it’s important to look beyond the premium and focus instead on the overall value a plan provides,” said Ben Kehl, vice president of consumer experience for UnitedHealthcare Medicare & Retirement. Most people choose one of two options to help contain their health care costs: Medicare supplement or Medicare Advantage. Medicare supplement plans help pay some of the costs not covered by Original Medicare,
such as copays, coinsurance and deductibles. Medicare supplement plans typically have a higher monthly premium than other Medicare plan options but minimize your out-of-pocket expenses as you’ll have little or no costs when you access care. Medicare Advantage plans have what’s called an out-of-pocket maximum, which caps how much you will pay in health care out-of-pocket costs in a year. Once you reach that amount, your plan will cover 100 percent of the cost of the Medicare-covered services you receive, and you’ll pay only your premiums. Medicare Advantage plans tend to have lower premiums than Medicare supplement plans, and members pay copays or coinsurance when they need care. For help with the cost of your medications, you may want to consider a stand-alone Part D plan or a Medicare Advantage plan with prescription coverage. To protect your wallet, it’s best to enroll when you become eligible for Medicare, even if you don’t currently take many medications, as it will help you avoid premium penalties later on. There’s a good chance your health needs could change in the future.
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Estrella Publishing - It’s A Grand Life magazine
May 2018
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MS tried to
silence me.
But
I won’t let it. Kim
PML survivor. Mom. Diagnosed in 2000. Explore powerful stories of people doing whatever it takes at nationalMSsociety.org/ kim
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Living With Faith There is nothing sweeter than a mother’s love. In fact there is nothing more precious than the attachment that began in the womb and was then drawn into the light, still attached. And when the cord is severed different connections materialize: Loyalty, devotion and affection. All resulting in what is known as a mother’s love. A mother’s love is unconditional. Not unlike the love that God has for each of us: Establishing a path and hoping that we will find the courage to direct our lives toward that ultimate destination of fulfillment. When we think of our mothers we remember the good and bad times, all the memories of youth and adulthood. Each time we see a wave of soft gray hair, we seem to see our mother there. How we wish we could hold her hand one more time and tell her how much she meant to us and how we understand how tired she must have been feeling our pain.
opportunities of gratefulness. And, if we find ourselves involved in memory, then we should step back and express that gratitude through the deeds we perform that would have given her joy.
Perhaps realizing this will enable us to kiss our mother’s face, hold her hand and be in tune with God. Together mother and God can, and do, take our cares away. God couldn’t be everywhere, so He made mothers. And mothers couldn’t be everything to everyone so God joined in partnership to create the ultimate feeling of security that comes from knowing that she will caress our cares so to ease our burden. We must thank God for the beauty of life as we thank our mothers for bringing us the beauty of God. On the day set aside referred to as Mother’s Day, let us remember to think of the past as we endeavor to continue to build our future. What more could a mother ask? Rabbi Irwin Wiener, D.D. Sun Lakes Jewish Congregation National Chaplain, Jewish War Veterans, USA
The details of a mother’s anguish speak to the suffering we all experience as we journey through life, trying to find our purpose in life. Still we all answer the Divine in us. Some more than others. Some with sacrifices beyond imagination. If we only knew how to say thank you for giving us life. If only we could realize that one kind gesture, one kind act, to acknowledge the joy that was hers as we continue the journey she started for us. Sometimes we wait too long and miss
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Home Improvement The real estate market is heating up, and if you’re planning to sell your home in the future, you want it to sell quickly and for as high of a price as possible. By taking action now, you can make home improvements that can help you achieve both your goals. To boost your home sale and reduce time on the market, consider these top home improvement ideas to catch buyers’ eyes. Garage door: When potential buyers visit your property, you want to make the best first impression before they even come inside. That’s why it’s wise to replace your garage door. It takes up a significant amount of exterior visual real estate and helps define the home’s aesthetic. What’s more, according to Remodeling Magazine’s 2018 Cost vs. Value report, a garage door replacement recoups an astonishing 98.3 percent of cost upon resale. Kitchen upgrade: A complete kitchen remodel is costly, but a few smart upgrades can make the heart of the home shine. Consider replacing worn laminate countertops and updating hardware for a fresh look.
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Fresh flooring: You don’t have to replace all your flooring, but focal areas like the kitchen or family room, as well as areas that tend to experience higher wear, such as the entryway, can benefit from a new floor. Forget expensive tile or hardwood replacements. Vinyl wood flooring looks incredibly similar to real wood, and modern luxury vinyl tile mimics the gorgeous look of stone or ceramic tile but is more durable and affordable. You may be able to simply add new flooring on top of old, making it a much easier DIY project. Neutral paint: Don’t ever underestimate the value of a fresh coat of paint throughout your home. Walls get dingy and colors get dated. Repaint rooms with modern, neutral tones. As much as you love plum, buyers may not, so stick with whites, creams and grays whenever possible. Visit your local paint store and you’ll see there are many neutral options to add excitement to interior spaces. Don’t forget the ceiling, too! A fresh coat of white can do wonders. These projects will enhance your listing so you get more attention and book more showings. You may even start a bidding war with enough interest, and that can really drive up the price.
May 2018
Legal Advice IRA AND 401K BENEFICIARIES
Wills and Trusts generally will not govern the distribution of your IRA’s or 401k’s. If your “Estate” is listed as the designated beneficiary or if there is no designated beneficiary, probate will be needed and the IRA will have to be paid in a lump sum, not over time as an inherited IRA. The benefits of a qualified retirement plan can be distributed through a revocable Trust, over time, as long as certain precautions are taken. First, the Trust must be listed as the beneficiary, the trust agreement. Then, the revocable Trust must
Estrella Publishing - It’s A Grand Life magazine
be valid under state law, become irrevocable upon the death of the participant and the beneficiaries have to be identifiable from the trust agreement. If you are married, then normally your spouse will be the initial beneficiary. In order for a children or a trust to be listed as the primary beneficiary, federal law requires spousal consent in regard to 401K or other ERISA qualified retirement accounts. Federal law does not require spousal consent for IRAs, but Arizona’s community property laws create a presumption that the spouse is entitled to one-half of the IRA. Sharon Ravenscroft, Esq., The Cavanagh Law Firm, PA, Sun City and Phoenix offices, (623) 815-7451 or Sravenscroft@CavanaghLaw. com. Sharon’s practice focuses on Wills, trusts, domestic partnership agreements and premarital agreements, probate and trust administration. For more information www.sharonravenscroft.com. Submitted by Sharon Ravenscroft, Esq.
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Life As A Caregiver It has been close to two months since I placed my mom in her care facility, but it feels like so much longer. Certainly a lot of adjustments. The biggest one for me has been looking at life without her. That realization takes on many elements: the huge change to my family unit, my own mortality, what the disease may bring to ME, and being so thankful for my mom’s relationship & memories. But it is also about freedom. MY freedom from the 24/7 caregiving responsibilities I had dedicated to her for the past four & a half years; the permission to feel that freedom and relief; and the reality of being able to take back my life.
But for now, it is mostly about dealing with the disease and the toll its taking on my mom. Our visits are very different now and they seem to diminish each time. I am told she yells at and hits the staff when they proceed to give her a shower. She is now in a wheelchair which moves her from place to place. The staff feeds her instead of her feeding herself. They have explained her behavior this way: it is the disease taking over by allowing her brain to ‘relax’ from the pressures to keep up with the daily tasks that are considered normal behavior (conversing, feeding oneself, response). She is now accepting to let people take over those tasks for her. But by the same token, she is angry that she is unable (or unwilling) to perform things on her own and having people tell her what to do (showering, eating, going to the bathroom, etc). It’s just so sad.
She wasn’t interested in eating the rest. She doesn’t remember my dog at all when I show her pictures…and they spent all day, every day together. I don’t say this to make you sad….although it is tragically sad. I say this so that you can be somewhat prepared for the next step. Our next step came very quickly. It is like night & day to see the decline in just eight weeks. Seeing how sad I was coming from a recent visit, a friend of mine asked me why I go. Was it for my mom or was it for me? Excellent question. I think it’s a little of both. I want her to know that I am here and with her, somehow making her feel more secure and at peace and not alone….although I doubt it does. And I guess I do it for me…to ease the guilt and frustration of not being able to DO anything to fix this nightmare. Intellectually, I know I have done all that I could being an unskilled caregiver. But emotionally, it just isn’t enough. So I go to help ease the pain for both of us. Unfortunately, I’m losing that battle. Submitted by Kathy Linton, West Valley Resident
Sometimes when I visit, she barely knows me. Other times, not at all. She doesn’t eat much, even when fed, so she has lost weight. She hardly engages in conversation anymore. I brought her a CD player and some of her favorite CDs so she could listen to music. She seemed to like that….but not that much. I brought her some of her favorite cookies and she took two bites. 16 Estrella Publishing - It’s A Grand Life magazine
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May 2018
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Sudoku for May
Puzzles & Games
Mothers’ Day Word Search
Numbers from 1-9 must appear only once in each row, column and box. Good Luck! Solution is on our website www.EstrellaPublishing.com
3
2
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6
1
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2 9
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2
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8
8
7
5 2
9
4 4
3
8 6
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Sudoku Solution 6
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5
1
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1
9
8 4 3 6 1 9 5 2 7
5 3 7 1 9 4 8 6 2
2 1 6 8 3 7 9 4 5
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8 6 9 5 2 6 7 1 3
2 7 8 3 1 5 4
3 5 4 9 6 1 2 7 8
1 7 8 2 4 5 3 9 6
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