Are You a Chameleon?

Our perceptions, outlook and even personality are often influenced by the situations and people in our lives. If we too often morph to become what others want, though, we’re not being true to ourselves, and this chameleon behavior comes with consequences. If you think this might be you, I invite you to take a look inside and ask yourself some questions:

• Are the changes I make positive or negative?

• Do the changes I make serve me personally in a good way or are they done just for the benefit of others?

• What kind of energy do I carry around with me? Do I feel down more often than not?

• What kind of vibe do I put out to others? Am I more like a ray of sunshine or a dark cloud when I’m with people?

• If I could step outside myself, how would I describe me?

• How would I describe the people in my life to someone else? Do they build me up, encourage me, support me; or are they negative people who bring me down or surround me with cynicism?

If most of your answers are in the wrong direction, it’s time for a change. It’s very possible that some of the changes you’ve made as a function of being around others are good, they’ve made you happier or made you a better person in some way. Other times, people in our path are there to remind us how not to be.

The bottom line is that you should feel good about who you are whether you are by yourself, with one person or in a crowd. If you don’t, you may need to do the following:

• Eliminate toxic people from your life.

• Do the work to learn to love yourself and be comfortable in your own skin.

• Decrease the demands on your time that stress you out and make you an unhappy or even angry person.

• Stop changing in ways you don’t like or for people who are not your priority.

• Set boundaries.

It’s time to separate the wheat from the chaff. Ultimately, you want to ensure that your thoughts and behavior align with your personal priorities and goals.

Submitted by Jennifer Bellingrodt, Psy.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist.

DISCLAIMER: Material is for informational purposes and not intended to be a substitute for evaluation or treatment by a licensed professional. Material is copyrighted and may only be reproduced with written permission of Dr. Bellingrodt.