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Estrella Publishing - Fish Hawk Living magazine

May 2018

Published by Estrella Publishing LLC, PO Box 6962, Goodyear AZ 85338. Additional copies and article reproductions can be obtained for a fee by contacting info@EstrellaPublishing.com Catherine Uretsky, Publisher and Editor 623.594.9283 info@EstrellaPublishing.com Al Uretsky, Publisher and Sales Executive 623.594.9283 info@EstrellaPublishing.com All contents ÂŠ 2010-2018 Estrella Publishing LLC. All Rights Reserved. Reproduction in any form, in whole or part, without written permission from Estrella Publishing LLC is prohibited. Estrella Publishing accepts freelance contributions, there is no guarantee that materials will be used or returned. Some content is provided by Brandpointe. Estrella Publishing is not responsible for the views of contributing writers and assumes no responsibility for errors appearing within. Opinions expressed are those of the writers and not necessarily those of the Publisher or Advertisers. Estrella Publishing reserves the right to restrict all advertisement to their proper classification and to edit or reject any copy at its sole discretion. Neither this publication nor Estrella Publishing is an agent of or in any way affiliated with the associated Developer nor Homeowners Association, or any of their respective affiliates. This publication has not been approved by, sponsored by, or endorsed by the associated Developer nor Homeowners Association in any way.

Catherine Uretsky Publisher & Editor

Lisa Aber Assistant Editor

Al Uretsky Publisher & Sales Exec

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May 2018

From Me To You... Welcome to the May edition of Fish Hawk Living magazine!

I am dedicating this issue to all the mothers I know, all the mothers I have not yet met, and all the mothers I wish I could meet again. May is the month where we think of flowers and sunshine and Mothers’ Day. A holiday that honors the women who try to put their children first, even when it seems too much. Because motherhood is hard. It is painful. It is lonely. It is isolating. It also brings the most unimaginable love and connection. A sense that you will move mountains for this tiny creature that has been placed into your arms. A desire to do better, to be better. I remember the morning after I brought my first child home. I woke with a heart full of happiness and love. And a creeping dread. A sense of hopelessness and futility. Who decided that I could be responsible for a human being? Who decided that I knew enough to keep her alive? Where was the manual? They sell you a car with reams of paperwork on how to do everything to keep this machine running. A baby? Nothing. Then there was the feeling of being trapped inside a prison of my own making. I wanted this child. I carried this child. I made this child. And now I am stuck with her. My husband got to keep being himself. He got to go to work and leave the house and the never ending piles of laundry. I was forever chained to this tiny being who relied on me for everything. No matter how much you prepare for the life of a parent, this is what hit me the most. My life was no longer my own.

the age of the internet it is easier to find groups to talk to but I got the best support and help from a group I met in person. I had moved to a new town with my two children and husband in tow. We were adults now. We had jobs and a mortgage and reliable cars with car seats. But it was lonely. I found an ad in a local paper for an open house at ‘The Mothers’ Center’. The decision to go was one of those moments people talk about. The moment I found my people. The Mothers’ Center was a community of women supporting each other. We had discussion groups where members were free to tell our lives to and learn from each other. With no recriminations, no judgement, only truth and support. There were rules, of course. Do not judge. Speak from the I. Do not tell others what was divulged in this place. Simple requests, but ones that allowed us to be free and cared for. On this Mothers Day I encourage all of you to reach out to a mother you know. Offer her support, friendship, a non-judgemental ear. Perhaps even offer to help with the laundry.

Catherine Uretsky

Editor, Life on the Rim magazine info@estrellapublishing.com 623.594.9283

If you are lucky you have family around to help and guide you. Groups of mothers to join and talk to. Someone to let you know you are not alone. That other mothers feel this way too. That it is OK to founder. If you don’t have that then find it! In Estrella Publishing - Fish Hawk Living magazine

May 2018

May Calendar

May 2018

◄ Apr 2018

Sun

Mon

Tue

Wed

Thu

Jun 2018 ►

Fri

Sat

Engineering for Kids Rockstar Fit Camp Coach Ray’s Tennis Gentle Yoga Camp Gladiator Zumba

3 Lag B’Omer Nat’l Day of Prayer World Press Freedom Rockstar Fit Camp Coach Ray’s Tennis SOS Club Soccer Shots

5 Cinco De Mayo

World Asthma Day World Lyme Day Rockstar Fit Camp Coach Ray’s Tennis

Star Wars Day Engineering for Kids Rockstar Fit Camp Gentle Yoga Camp Gladiator

Kentuky Derby Men’s Basketball Rockstar Fit Camp

13 Mother's Day

19 Armed Forces Day

21 Shavuot (end) Rockstar Fit Camp Coach Ray’s Tennis Gentle Yoga Camp Gladiator Zumba Meb’s Basketball

28 Memorial Day

Notes: For times and locations go to FishhawkConnect.com

MTV Movie Awards World Laughter Day Market Day

Shavuot (start)

Engineering for Kids Rockstar Fit Camp Coach Ray’s Tennis Gentle Yoga Camp Gladiator Zumba Men’s Basketball

Engineering for Kids Rockstar Fit camp Coach Ray’s Tennis Gentle Yoga Camp Gladiator Zumba Men’s Basketball

Nat’l Burger Day Rockstar Fit Camp Coach Ray’s Tennis Gentle Yoga Camp Gladiator Zumba Meb’s Basketball

Nat’l Teachers Day Rockstar Fit Camp Coach Ray’s Tennis

Rockstar Fit Camp Coach Ray’s Tennis

Engineering for Kids Rockstar Fit Camp Coach Ray’s Tennis Gentle Yoga Camp Gladiator Zumba

Rockstar Fit Camp Coach Ray’s Tennis Gentle Yoga Camp Gladiator Zumba

Rockstar Fit Camp Coach Ray’s Tennis SOS Club Soccer Shots

Rockstar Fit Camp Coach Ray’s Tennis SOS Club

Nat’l Brother Day Rockstar Fit Camp Coach Ray’s Tennis SOS Club

World MS Day Rockstar Fit Camp Coach Ray’s Tennis SOS Club

Engineering for Kids Rockstar Fit Camp Gentle Yoga Camp Gladiator

Rockstar Fit Camp Gentle Yoga Camp Gladiator

Men’s Basketball Rockstar Fit Camp

Men’s Basketball Food Truck Rally Rockstar Fit Camp

Men’s Basketball Rockstar Fit Camp

National Bike Month, National Physical Fitness and Sports, National Mental Health Awareness, Lupus Awareness Month, Lyme Disease Awareness Month Birthstone: Emerald Fruits & Veggies: Mangos, Potatoes, Limes, Rhubarb Flower: Lily of the Valley & Hawthorn Astrological: Taurus (til 20th) & Gemini (21st+)

Fish Hawk Living magazine is a new publication for the residents of Fishhawk Ranch right here in Lithia. Send us any story ideas, photos you have taken of local events, baby announcements, people or clubs that want to be on a future cover, and anything else you can think of. If you want to see it here send it in! Do you own your own business and want to reach all the homes in Fishhawk Ranch to let them know you are here? Contact us for our low, low advertising rates and help with graphics. We make it easy to advertise. We are a family owned and operated company that knows how hard it can seem to get noticed, let us help! Send all your inquiries to info@estrellapublishing.com

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May 2018

On Our Cover

To the Classes Following the Class of 2018 Expectations on what a high school experience is like are ingrained into people’s minds from a very young age. At seven years old, I expected high school to be as seen on any Disney Channel TV Show, where romantic relationships with the captain of the football team flourished and shopping for the next school dance was a weekly occurrence; oh how wrong we all were. High school is a place of learning, and I learned very quickly that dating is yet another addition at the bottom of the list of “things to do” and my afternoons would consist of studying and extracurricular activities, not shopping at the mall. As a graduating senior this year, I realize my words of wisdom are limited due to my brief 18 years of existence, but they do -however- help to debunk what to expect in high school. The pressures you will face each of the four years can feel crushing: the stress to keep up your grades, the demands of maintaining interpersonal relationships, and the difficulty of having too much to do in too little time. Expect to struggle. It may seem like your teachers, parents, and even friends expect flawless execution of responsibility all the time, but they don’t. Remember that you’re in high school, a forum that allows room for error to learn and grow. When it does seem like all is going wrong, whether that is getting your first bad grade on a report card, making a fool out of yourself at a social event that becomes the latest gossip, or forgetting to turn in that medical release form to try-out for the team… forgive yourself. You can make a comeback from anything, no matter how reputation-ruining the situation might seem in the moment. Take your setbacks as lessons to learn from, keep moving, and do better.

experience to be what you make it. Making good grades, being friendly, and taking steps to reach your goals are all choices that can be made on a daily basis. If your main objective is to thrive academically, then do that; pay attention in class, study hard, and be the student teachers want to have in class. If being someone everyone considers a friend is important to you, then be that; expand your horizon beyond your normal friend group and go out of your way to talk to people you normally wouldn’t-you’d be shocked at how cool that “smart kid” in your AP Physics class really is. If your focus is wholly on your end-game career, start fighting for that position now; take initiative and start a fashion club to get noticed by big fashion and marketing schools in New York City if that will get you one step closer to being a designer. High school is just the beginning, but it can be the sturdy foundation that sets you up for a lifetime of success. When all is said and done, and the realization sets in that you’ll never stroll the halls of your high school as a student again, be sure to walk away with no regrets. Expect to finish strong. Finish your sentences; don’t let anything be left unsaid, and tell the people who matter to you that they do. Conclude the years with memories filled with friends, as you’ll want to be able to look back at the end of year four to the good times and laughs shared with your peers. Finally, end high school; relish in the moments while you’re in them, but leave with lessons learned to create a solid platform for your future. If you want high school to be great, expect it to be. Submitted by Paige Carter, Senior, Newsome High School

In a high school, there are many different opportunities to be seized. Expect your Estrella Publishing - Fish Hawk Living magazine

May 2018

The Good Enough Mother “I am not OK with being with a good enough mother. I work too hard to settle for that.”

One of my closest friends (and one of the most devoted mothers I know) said those words to me a couple of years ago, and I’ve never forgotten them. On a personal level, I was heartbroken to realize that my friend was putting that much pressure on herself. On a professional level, I was saddened to see that once again one of my favorite theories of parenting and child development had been totally misunderstood. Usually when I hear the phrase “good enough mother*,” it’s either by mothers like my friend, who see “good enough” as “not enough,” or by mothers who are using it as an explanation for why they aren’t the perfect mother. It’s become about whether or not we cook a multicourse meal every night or bring a holiday craft project and snack in for the entire preschool class. The good enough mother is now a failure to be avoided at all costs, or an explanation for why we haven’t been able to do better. Unfortunately, for both our children and ourselves, both of these explanations totally miss the point.

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The phrase “good enough mother” was first coined in 1953 by Donald Winnicott, a British pediatrician and psychoanalyst. Winnicott observed thousands of babies and their mothers, and over time he came to realize that babies and children actually benefit when their mothers fail them in manageable ways. (I’m not talking about major failures, such as child abuse and neglect, of course.) The process of becoming the good enough mother to our children happens over time. When our babies are infants, we try to be constantly available and immediately responsive to them. As soon as they cry, we feed them or snuggle them or change their diapers—we do whatever it takes to help them feel better. This is important, because it teaches our children that they are safe and that they will be cared for. The thing is, we parents can’t sustain this level of attentiveness to our children forever, nor should we. That is precisely Winnicott’s point. He believed that the way to be a good mother is to be a good enough mother. Children need their mothers (or primary caretakers, whoever they may be) to fail them in tolerable ways on a regular basis so they can learn to live in an imperfect world. Every time we don’t hear them calling us right away, every time we don’t listen as well as we should, every time we feed them a dinner they don’t want to eat, every time we make them share when they don’t want to, we are getting them ready to function in a society that will frustrate and disappoint them on a regular basis.

May 2018

Children need to learn, in small ways every day, that the world doesn’t revolve around them, that their every request won’t be honored, and that their behaviors impact other people. They need to learn—through experience—that life can be hard, that they will feel let down and disappointed, that they won’t get their way, and despite all of that (or perhaps because of it) they will still be OK. If our children never have these experiences—if their every need is met every time—they will have no ability to manage the challenges that will inevitably arise. They won’t learn that it’s ok to feel bored or annoyed or sad or disappointed. They won’t learn, time and again, that life can be painful and frustrating and they’ll get through it. In short, building our children’s resilience is the gift of the good enough mother. There’s one other important point we need to remember about the good enough mother—she’s not only a gift to her children, but she’s also unavoidable. It is, quite simply, not possible to do better than good enough. Perfection is not an option. I don’t need to explain to you that it’s just not possible to meet every single one of our child’s needs, be it another bowl of macaroni and cheese, a desire to cover the wall with marker, or a wish to stay up all night watching Dora

Estrella Publishing - Fish Hawk Living magazine

episodes. Even if it were somehow possible to be the perfect mother, the end result would a delicate, fragile child who couldn’t tolerate even the slightest disappointment. None of us want that for our children. The reality is that either we are good enough or we aren’t, most of the time. If we’re not good enough, then we may be letting our children down in a myriad of unpredictable, possibly irreparable ways. If we are good enough—which I believe most of us are—then we mostly get it right, and sometimes we get it wrong. Our children may feel annoyed or frustrated or sad because we have let them down, but in that moment, in those many small moments, they learn that life is hard, that they can feel terrible, and they will bounce back. Each time we let our children down, and they get through it, they get just a little bit stronger. That is the gift of the good enough mother, and it’s time we all embrace it. Carla Naumburg, PhD This piece was first published on Carla Naumburg’s Mindful Parenting Blog on PsychCentral.com.

May 2018

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May 2018

Estrella Publishing - Fish Hawk Living magazine

May 2018

Out & About

Whether you’re traveling for leisure or business, you shouldn’t lose sight of nutrition. It’s common to think, “Hey, I’m on vacation, so I can throw my healthy diet out the window.” Wrong. Traveling can throw the body for a loop with time zone changes, shifts in sleep schedules and the availability of fast, convenient and highly processed foods.

the weight of their checked luggage, which often weighs in at 50 pounds. Carting around heavy luggage and bags can take a toll on the body. 3. Don’t forget essential nutrients. “We shouldn’t sacrifice our nutrition simply because we’re away from our kitchen,” commented Elizabeth Somer, registered dietitian, “I always pack nutritionally rich snacks when I’m away from home and pack a multivitamin.”

Use these five easy steps to make sure you stay healthy on the go this year.

4. Keep your blood flowing. Direct flights can leave you sitting for five hours or more. These long periods of sedentary travel can lead to blood clots so be sure to get up and walk about the cabin when it is safe to do so.

1. Pack healthy snacks. Dining while on the go usually translates to getting a quick hunger fix that involves processed, high-fat foods. Make a conscious effort to pack healthy snacks.

5. Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate. Water should be your No. 1 travel companion. Pack a reusable water bottle, so you can quickly fill up at water fountains located in many airports, train stations and bus stops.

2. Lighten your luggage. It’s all too common for travelers to try to max out

As you take to the air, road or track this year, make nutrition a top priority.

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May 2018

Book Review I’m Just Happy to Be Here, by Janelle Hanchett

Looking for a Mother’s Day treat for your favorite bibliophile mother or grandmother? Look no further than Renegade Mothering blogger Janelle Hanchett’s literary debut, I’m Just Happy to Be Here: A Memoir of Recklessness, Rehab, and Renegade Mothering. The book is told in three parts and follows the major stages of the typical hero’s journey with the first part chronicling the writer’s life before all the trouble began. This part almost reads like a love story while foreshadowing the darkness to come. The second phase of the book details Hanchett’s cringe-worthy bottom of addiction, a world full of what she calls “3:00 a.m. ideas” and “maintenance whiskey.” The book’s third phase marks her return to the ordinary world, where she is forced to grapple with the mundane along with the beautiful and finds herself still struggling though newly redeemed. Though the book veers off the path of love story early on, it can be viewed as a love story throughout if only readers adjust their expectations of what a love story really is. Adjusting expectations, after all, is what this book is really about. With incredibly raw candor, Hanchett shares each detail of her journey, complete with paradoxes, revelations, grace, and Estrella Publishing - Fish Hawk Living magazine

loss of ego. In addition to telling the story of an addicted mother’s plight like no other book, the memoir also beautifully portrays the role of music, place, and connection—to friends, families, and unexpected allies—in each of our lives. For instance, we meet “Good News Jack,” a sponsor and “washed up gutter drunk” (now sober and ready to help others get there) she found while smoking cigarettes outside an AA meeting. Early in their friendship he tells her, “If your ideas worked so well, what the f*ck are you doing here?” So yes, readers should be prepared for profanity in the service of tough love and a back-breaking search for truth. In a chapter called, “The Childhood I Could No Longer Blame,” we learn about Hanchett’s complicated though steadfast relationship with her own mother and the book’s dedication page reads, “Hey Mom. Look. We did it.” We read about her grandmothers, Bonny, the writer, and Joan, the beauty, in a chapter called “Lineage.” A temporary rupture in Hanchett’s relationship with her grandmother Joan over comments Joan made about one of Hanchett’s daughters being “shorn like a boy,” gives insight into generational divides experienced in nearly every family. Hanchett eventually mends the relationship, offering this reflection: “Do we hate them for that? Our mothers and grandmothers? Do we hate them for the roles they’ve internalized and been forced to play? Or do we simply love them as they pass into the gray?” Love of family, gradual loss of ego, and embrace of paradox lead Hanchett to the light where life is still challenging. To not read this book is to miss the tiny, beautiful revelations along the way, revelations all of us can relate to and appreciate. Treat a real-talk-loving mother, grandmother, or aunt to I’m Just Happy to Be Here this Mother’s Day. Submitted by Jen Hamilton Jen Hamilton is a writer in Austin, TX. Find her online at jenhamiltontx.com.

May 2018

Home Sweet Home If it can rain, it can flood: Why flood insurance is a wise bet for homeowners The federal government considers floods the nation’s most common natural disaster. They strike every state and leave homeowners with huge repair costs. Why? Because typical homeowners insurance doesn’t cover flood damage. Those policies may provide protection for water damage when it comes through a hole in the roof or from wind-driven rain. But coverage doesn’t extend to damage caused by water from a stormswollen river, torrential rainfall or other floodinducing conditions. Homeowners are required to purchase flood insurance if they have a federally backed mortgage and live in a high-risk flood area as identified by the National Flood Insurance Program. For others, though, it’s optional.

With premiums starting as low as $171 a year for a home and its contents, it’s coverage homeowners should highly consider.

“Floods can occur anywhere,” says Corise Morrison, executive director of residual markets for USAA. “Low risk does not mean no risk.” The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) establishes flood-risk ratings for areas based on hydrologic studies and other data. In high-risk areas, a 1 in 4 chance of flooding exists over a 30-year mortgage. In moderate- to low-risk zones, the chance of flooding is reduced but still present. More than 20 percent of the NFIP’s claims come from people with property outside of high-risk areas, according to federal estimates. USAA sells and services coverage under the NFIP. The program’s maximum coverage is $250,000 for a home and $100,000 for its contents, but USAA can refer members to a broker if additional coverage is needed. The program also provides coverage to condo owners and renters. Homeowners can assess their risk for natural disasters plus get tips on how to minimize them and protect their personal property with USAA’s Property Risk Assessment Tool. But don’t wait until an extreme storm is approaching to act. Normally, flood coverage won’t begin until 30 days after purchase.

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Positive Parenting If some one had asked what motherhood meant to me six years ago I would probably have said something along the lines of “pure bliss”, and I would have meant it. Being a Mum was the only thing I had ever consistently wanted in life.

When I finally became a Mum at 34 I was genuinely ecstatic. And I was good at it from the very start. As soon as she was placed on my chest, seconds after being born, my daughter began nursing. It didn’t hurt. I had no supply issues. Nursing on demand was never a problem because my husband and I had decided that the best thing for our family was for me to stay home with our daughter. Mom’s Clubs, play dates, the odd evening out with new friends while Daddy and Daughter snuggled in bed waiting for me to get home, a new found confidence in myself and what I was doing became my life. I was delighted, and we all thrived. Life was easy and full of joy, so we decided to try to add to our near perfect life. The first time around getting pregnant wasn’t easy, and we

expected things to be harder the 2nd time. We planned to have another child born when our eldest was about 3. Life decided we were doing so well at this parenting thing that we didn’t need to wait that long. Before our eldest was 18 month old I was pregnant. From the second she found out (the same time as me, after all, who pees alone with a toddler in the house?) she was adamant that there were “2 babies in Mummy’s tummy”. And on Christmas Eve, 3 months before she turned 2, we found out she was right! I have been overwhelmed ever since. The twins (a boy and a girl) will be 4 this summer. I love them so much my heart hurts. There are moments of joy and pride in the things they do. But life is no longer easy. I’m not the confident and carefree Mum that I was before. Chaos, endless noise, and self doubt like I have never felt before are my new normal. But life is good and things are settling down. My heart is full, my days are never the same. And it gets easier from here ….. right? Submitted by Terri Smith

Please give the Gift of Togetherness

To Families

with Sick Kids 35 Davis Boulevard, Tampa, Florida 33606-3405

Tel: (813) 258-6430 | RMHCTampaBay.org Estrella Publishing - Fish Hawk Living magazine

May 2018

Biz Buzz

Now that the taxes are filed, give your small business a checkup A challenge for any entrepreneur is getting access to capital. If you’re like many, you’re constantly looking for ways to reduce expenses and free up cash flow so you can be ready for anything, whether it’s a slow season or an opportunity to expand. When tax season rolls around, you’re already taking a deep dive into your expenses and income for the past year. Don’t stop when you file. With all that information at your fingertips (and fresh in your mind), it’s a great opportunity to take a big-picture look at the health of your business and make sure it’s running as efficiently as possible. Use the following tips to take your efforts a step further and boost your cash flow in the upcoming year. Dust off your business plan: No doubt when you started out in business, you were eager to put your vision to paper. Most entrepreneurs get busy with the day-to-day pressures of deadlines, and that vision can recede into the background. Schedule some time to revisit and update the business plan. When finished, it’s important to not allow it to gather dust again. Set goals and schedule check-in meetings with your team to make sure everything’s on track.

Check your credit score: If you’re planning to raise capital to expand or make improvements in the next year, checking in on your credit score is an important first step you can take. Even if you have a business credit score, certain business loans still require a look at your personal credit score, especially if you’re a sole proprietorship. Create a tax strategy: The tax break Congress passed in December will save small business owners 20 percent on their tax bill this year. In the coming year, small business owners have many opportunities to capture more tax savings with the right plan and strategy. Have a meeting with your accountant to discover more ideas. Pay down debt: One way to use the windfall of your 20 percent tax savings is to pay down revolving loan debt. Doing so is a great way to raise access to working capital should you need it down the line. Before you do so, make sure you have enough cash flow to meet your expenses. Improve accounts receivable: If your business extends lines of credit to your customers, it may be worthwhile to implement a credit check policy on all new customers. Knowing they’re creditworthy before the fact can help you create the appropriate plan for them and protect your business. The life of an entrepreneur means things can change drastically on a dime. A thorough checkin with your finances can put you in the best position for success.

Update your budget: The nature of entrepreneurship is being agile in the face of change. Market trends, price changes from vendors and suppliers, even road construction are variable forces that can send anyone’s budget into a new direction. That’s why your budget isn’t ever going to be a spot-on prediction. Think of it as a plan. If you stay on top of it, you can spot the trends early and make adjustments right - or head off problems before they become unmanageable. 14 Estrella Publishing - Fish Hawk Living magazine

May 2018

Puzzles & Games

Sudoku for May

Mothersâ€™ Day Word Search

Numbers from 1-9 must appear only once in each row, column and box. Good Luck! Solution is on our website www.EstrellaPublishing.com

2 9

5 2

4 4

8 6

Sudoku Solution 6

8 4 3 6 1 9 5 2 7

5 3 7 1 9 4 8 6 2

2 1 6 8 3 7 9 4 5

8 6 9 5 2 6 7 1 3

2 7 8 3 1 5 4

3 5 4 9 6 1 2 7 8

Estrella Publishing - Fish Hawk Living magazine

May 2018

1 7 8 2 4 5 3 9 6

MS causes

debilitating fatigue.

I will

knockout MS.

Yvette

Mom. MMA official. Diagnosed in 2014. Explore powerful stories of people doing whatever it takes at nationalMSsociety.org/yvette

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